Car Dogs (2016) Movie Script

1
Available sales to the showroom.
Available sales
to the showroom, please.
Look...
I know how people feel
about car salesmen.
Most of the time,
I completely understand.
You might not
believe this, but...
I can't tell you how much I wanna
build something different.
Man: I know.
Honey, I know.
I hear you.
Woman, on telephone:
I really don't think you do.
No, I do. I'm...
Mark, please.
I really do.
Yeah? Okay, so?
Ashley, you're right.
I promise...
I've had this reservation
for a month.
You're absolutely right.
Yeah. Okay.
I just can't...
Then I'll
see you at 5:00.
No, I can't. I...
Who makes a reservation...
Can't we just
push it to tomorrow?
Mark, I need you to understand
what this feels like.
Uh, okay. Okay.
I understand.
I do. No, I do. I do.
But you need to
understand, too, okay?
I am under
a lot of pressure here.
I'm not just...
We've talked about this,
and you're the one who told me.
- Yes, I know.
- To the floor.
I know. I know.
Stop being a wimp, then.
I know, and I meant that.
Okay, but you need
to listen, all right?
You just...
No, understand.
You know him, all right?
You know my dad,
and he is killing me right now.
Today I have had to do
some things that...
That I'm not exactly proud of,
and I need you, okay?
I just need you on my team.
I need you on my team
for one day, please.
I've always been
on your team, mark.
You are the one
who's canceling on me.
You just don't get it!
Well, why don't you
explain it to me then?
Because I don't have time, okay?
Don't have time
on our anniversary?
No, I don't have time, because I'm
supposed to be on the floor, okay?
Because I have a number that I
have to hit by the end of the day,
and once I do hit that
number, I swear to god
everything is gonna be different
for you and me, okay?
I promise. And I'm
not only talking about
all the money that
I'm gonna bring home,
but about the time and attention
I'm gonna be able
to give our marriage,
our relationship, okay?
Ash?
Ash?
Boss, I got nothin'.
She's 70, right?
Right.
Then she sure as shit
didn't come down here
just to kick some tires,
now, did she?
100, 200, something,
anything, whatever it takes.
Available sales to the showroom.
Available sales to the showroom.
Salesman:
No problem.
Green pea.
Hmm?
Yeah, you.
My name's Tyler.
No, it's not.
It's green pea.
You get a name when you sell a car.
Who's training you?
He's...
Charlie, show Mr. Baldrich
to his new vehicle.
Yes.
Zig Ziglar
just closed number 15,
and I hope that Roley
has a big band.
I like to wear my watches
nice and loose.
Hey, are you training this?
I'm facilitating his career.
Well, then please do so,
because I don't need him
standing on the showroom floor,
looking like a lost puppy
that can't find his mom.
Come on, Simba.
Let's go.
Hey! Mother-daughter
two-car deal.
Where we at?
They'll be here in an hour.
Better be, 'cause according
to this, you only have 3 1/2.
Mark: Where we at?
Well, Christian's make 15.
I just closed Caleb's for 16,
which means we
got about 3 1/2 hours
to sell another 19.
The good news?
You'll be lucky if that number
doesn't jump back up
to 20 or 21.
What? Why?
Yes, because Christian's
mother-daughter two-car deal
has yet to show.
Yeah, I know.
And Sharon's guy
from yesterday called.
Whoa. Wait, the guy that was
hitting on her all day?
Yes, him.
What?
What did he call about?
What does he want?
He called her to tell 'em
he's on his way back in.
His way back in to do what?
Unwind. What the fuck
do you think, mark?
Fuck.
Yeah, fuck.
You got your work
cut out for you, mark.
Could you give us
a minute, please, Caleb?
Look, Boyd, I get it.
You're pissed off,
and that's fine,
but don't pretend
like you don't have something
at stake here, too.
So, please, wait till 5:00 P.M.
before you crucify me.
I'm not here
to crucify you, okay?
But that shit that happened
with Scott today
was a chickenshit move,
and you know it.
Look, I know it's not easy working for
your old man, but you gonna have...
Don't go there.
Look, if anybody deserves
a bullet in their head
around here, it's Reynolds.
Got one, baby.
Fuck.
"Fuck" is right.
This mooch,
this credit criminal,
this is the guy
you spent
the last three hours with.
He's that bad?
Shit.
This guy couldn't buy
love from his mother, Quinn.
Heh. You like jokes?
Fuck you.
Now go throw this cocksucker out
and grab another up, or
better yet, you know what?
Don't until you learn
how to do your fucking job.
Eh?
Caleb, board.
All right, ladies and gentlemen.
It's just after 1:30,
which means we have
less than 3 1/2 hours
to put another 19 sleds
on the road.
So if you're looking forward to
seeing your paychecks on Monday
or to getting a portion of this
wad of spiff money I have,
then I want you all to pull
your heads out of your asses
right now, because
the clock is ticking,
and with 16 cars boarded,
300 is very long, long
way to go, so let's go!
Let's go! Let's go!
Go get it.
Wow. Moving.
Reynolds, what's your problem?
My problem?
Mark, I'm not the one who's been
walking around here all
day, crying about Scottie.
Shit, if you ask me, we should
have fired his ass months ago.
And yet no one asked you.
You know, it's funny, Boyd.
Why is it that you're only
tough when he's around?
Hey, you feeling froggy,
Reynolds, just jump.
You know, come
to think of it, mark,
with all the rope you've given
Scott this last six months,
you could have hung two people.
Oh, you son of a bitch.
Let's go, you and me right now.
Like I said, Boyd, you're
only tough when he's around.
Well, try that shit when he's
not around, motherfucker.
Hey! Hey!
'Cause I will kick
your motherfucking ass, man!
I will break your fucking neck!
Woman: Hey! Hey!
You know, if I thought
it would help,
I suggest the two of you just drop
your pants and get it over with,
but I'm afraid that wouldn't
pan out so well for Reynolds.
You're damn right it won't.
Actually, with the size
of your dick, Sharon,
my money's on you.
Ah. Ah. Not today.
You know, one of these days,
I'm gonna let him
beat the shit out of you.
Oh, are you?
Are you, really?
Hey, can we get back to selling
cars and my little problem?
Yeah. I heard.
So what's his deal?
Other than he wants to
unwind, I don't know.
Maybe he's coming
out of the ether.
That or his old lady told
him to bring it back.
Okay, well, just so you know,
I'm not unwinding shit,
not today.
Man: You guys
fucked me here!
I told the both of you I
need to speak to the owner.
I know my rights.
I'm returning this car.
No. No. Sharon, I told you
I am not unwinding shit.
I don't care how mad he gets,
he better enjoy his new car,
and if he has
a problem with that,
then he better
find himself a new wife.
Yo, boss.
What?
Yours is sitting in your office.
Where's the owner?
I know my fucking rights.
Shit.
Sharon: You can
say that again.
I need to speak to the
owner right fucking now!
Mark, line two.
Mark, line two.
Right fucking now!
Sharon: You can
say that again.
I need to speak
to the owner right now!
No. No, Sharon, I told you
I am not unwinding shit.
Yo, boss.
Pull your heads
out of your asses
right now, because the
clock is ticking.
Look, I know it's not easy working for
your old man, but you gonna have...
Don't go there.
Mother-daughter two-car
deal, where we at?
They'll be here in an hour.
Better be.
My name's Tyler.
No, it's green pea.
You get a name
when you sell a car.
Whatever it takes!
I've had to do some things
that I'm not exactly proud of.
Mark, they believe you,
and you go,
and you pull this shit.
Bullshit, Boyd!
I need someone to step up.
What do you need me to do?
Some of us have to fight.
It's what you have to do
to get what you want.
Fuck you.
What do I tell them?
What do you tell them?!
What's the catch?
You still don't get it,
do you, mark?
But if I were you,
I would tell them to hit
300 fucking cars.
Now, do you understand me?!
All: Yes!
Come on! I said,
"do you understand me?!"
Yes!
Yes!
Let's get fired up
and go sell some fucking cars!
Morning.
Hey, Andy. Morning.
Conference room, guys.
Hey. Good morning.
Could you, uh, page everyone
to the conference room, please?
Certainly.
All sales associates to the
conference room, please.
All sales associates to the
conference room immediately.
Hmm.
Okay. Don't get
into too much trouble today.
Mark.
Yeah?
Coffee.
Come on.
You know that was for you.
Have a good one.
You, too.
Fellas, that means you. Come on.
Let's go.
Conference room.
Hey, boss.
Hey, um, I don't mean
to be an ass,
but, uh, did I hear right?
We're not getting paid
on Monday?
You did.
I know you're concerned, Quinn.
Trust me.
I'm looking into it.
Talk about it in the meeting.
I-it's just that Sarah...
My Sarah's been calling me every
10 minutes, freaking out,
and I don't know
what to tell her.
Not only is our rent due Monday,
but we're way behind
on almost all of our bills,
and I'm already, like, two
weeks late on our car payment.
Yeah, Quinn...
I'm working on it.
Yeah.
Hey.
How much is that car payment?
250 bucks.
I'll see you at the meeting.
Christian:
Let's just say,
wanna see the Gauge spin.
Hey.
Did you really close
that two-car
mother-daughter deal?
They both contracted, but only
daughter took delivery. Speaking...
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa. What?
What do you mean only the
daughter took delivery?
The mother forgot
her driver's license. What?
Since when does somebody not
having their driver's license
stop us from delivering
a car? That's what.
Trust me.
The deal's done.
Closed?
Have I ever let you down?
Yes.
See you in the conference room.
Christian:
Yeah.
Scottie, you look like shit.
Yeah, well, try working four
back-to-back weeks of 17-hour days.
17? Those half-days?
Yeah, and then after
locking up at 1:00 A.M.,
I got to spend six
hours in the hospital.
No shit?
He as ugly as you?
I don't know yet.
She was still in labor
when I left.
What? Why are
you still here?
'Cause I gotta recap
yesterday's deals.
That's something
Boyd could have done.
My deals, my responsibility.
Plus I ran into your old man.
And?
And he said
I can't leave
until she gets closer
or the hospital pages me.
All right, I'll talk to him.
Yeah, good luck with that.
What the fuck? Does nobody
hear pages around here?
Hello! All associates
to the conference room,
please, immediately!
Now!
Fuck.
1:00 A.M., huh?
I'm gonna go ahead and assume
that the lack of stars
on the board
is an indicator
that you were busy,
because that looks exactly
like I left it last night.
Tell me where we actually
finished, Scott.
Not so good.
Yeah, evidently.
Here I am thinking that
my phone not ringing
and you not picking up yours
is a sign that you
had a handle on things.
I figured you had your own
little problem to deal with.
Someone please tell me
where we finished.
Where did we finish?
What?
11? Wha...
Shortly after you left,
the wheels kind of fell off.
I left three hours early.
You're telling me you can't
handle the store for three hours?
We made every deal
possible, all right,
probably some we shouldn't have.
W-wait. Wait. Barrett.
Is this the mother
from Christian's
two-car deal?
Yeah.
She, uh...
Bought the black limited?
No, she bought the white one.
Wait. Did I board it
as a black one?
I don't know, but if
this gross is right,
it better have been a black one.
No, no, no. No.
She... she bought
the white one.
Then why do you have it boarded
as a $1,000 loser, Scott?
Because those were
the numbers you gave me.
Bullshit! I told you
MSRP on the white one
and a grand back
of invoice on the black.
Why would I give her
the same deal
on the last white
special edition model of car,
something that we consistently
sell for sticker,
as I would a black one with
6,000 miles on it, Scott?
We live in Arizona, man!
People drive white cars.
I don't know.
She told me that you told her
it was the same price.
I'm sorry.
Which one is it, Scott?
Those were the numbers
I gave you,
or she told you I told her
they were the same price?
What's the number one rule
in the car business, Scott?
Buyers are liars.
Buyers are liars.
That's right.
Fuck.
Does my dad know?
Reynolds does.
Then he knows.
How long do you think I can
keep him off your back?
Speaking of Judas, where is he?
Where do you think?
In throwing you
under the bus as usual.
Fuck. It's morning, and
I'm already fading heat.
Look, I'm sorry.
We were down 12 cars,
and it was late. We were
having a shitty day.
Oh, and this deal
bettered it somehow?
What's going on with you, man?
These mistakes,
they're becoming habitual.
Look, I fucked up, okay?
If you haven't
noticed lately, mark,
I'm a little stressed.
Right.
Yeah, because you're the only
one with fucking problems.
Boyd.
Yes.
You make sure
those cars get reported.
Got it. Hey.
This is Scott.
Did... did I hear right?
These guys aren't
getting paid on Monday?
Don't ask, okay?
Man, holding back their pay
in this climate
is just brutal...
Yeah. I know.
Even for your old man.
I think you know that.
I'm on it.
Hey, do you want me
to start the meeting,
put on a training video?
I don't know, Scott. You
think you can handle that?
How does it all look, Steve?
Think it's great.
You know, you're tracking
along really fine.
One thing I did need
to ask you, though,
you did get the letter of intent
from Detroit yesterday, right?
I did. Got it right here
on my desk.
Fantastic.
All we need now
is confirmation from your bank
that the $300,000 will hit
the escrow on Monday,
and you will be Scottsdale's
new franchise dealer.
No problem. We'll have it
over to you Monday morning.
Excellent. I did
have a chance to review
your retail delivery reports.
Give mark a pat
on the back for me.
He's really done
a superb job down there.
And, uh...
Will do.
Will do, Steve.
Excellent. All right, Mr.
Chamberlain.
I guess I will talk
to you on Monday.
Sounds good.
So we're good?
If you hold payroll
like I told you.
Little over 150 grand,
just like you said.
Then we're good.
What about the other 150?
Handled.
I'm wholesaling cars
to Ahmad this afternoon.
Ahmad?
You sure you want to do
business with Ahmad?
I mean, he's nothing
like his old man.
Yeah, well...
What son is?
Morning.
Don't fucking morning me.
I just spent the last 15 minutes
kissing Steve's ass,
our dealer rep.
He had the latest retail delivery
report thrown in his face
showing that we are getting
our asses handed to us.
Not only is he fully unimpressed
by the job you're doing,
he tells me that if we can't
run this store properly,
he's not sure
we can run another one.
We had a bad night.
A bad night?
On the second to the last day
of an already shitty
month, you come out early,
leaving the nuts
to run the asylum,
and we close with 11?
Yes, sir, 11.
Look, dad, I had to
get home, all right?
Ashley is threatening
to leave me. I had no...
Apparently you're confusing me
with someone who gives a shit.
That's your personal business.
Do it on your own time.
Stop wasting mine.
Now what's this I hear
about your manager
giving away my cars,
a white SUV
in a two-car deal?
I'm confused as to why Scott
doesn't know that his job here
is to make me money,
not to lose it.
He knows it was a mistake.
A mistake?!
Why is it when employees fuck
with my money, it's a mistake,
but when I fuck with
theirs, it's stealing.
Which begs the question,
why is there another
voucher signed by you
for $5,000 on my desk?
It's the spiff money
for the weekend.
I already paid out $10,000
in spiff money this month.
How much spiff money
do you need?
They're not getting
their paychecks on Monday.
And...
And they got
their dicks in the dirt.
They'll live.
"They'll live"?
80% of these guys live
paycheck to paycheck.
Well, then maybe they'd better
learn to manage their money.
Oh, yeah? How do you
manage something
you never had in the fucking
first place, Reynolds?
Hey, I don't care how they live!
In case you've forgotten,
we need $300,000
in closing costs
for a certain new dealership,
so if these guys have a problem
not receiving their paychecks
for three or four days,
you can fire
their fucking asses.
And now that we've
touched on firing,
now is as good a time as any.
You should start with Scott.
Well, you said it yourself.
Scott made a mistake.
Only, this one's
a career changer.
He's having a baby.
Well, then he'll
have plenty of time
to spend with him, won't he?
What? You don't like the
way I run the store?
It's not how
I'd run the new one.
Oh, really?
You know, you said that
as if you think you're
really going to get it.
Is that not what we discussed?
Shit, you can't even
run this one...
No one fucking
asked you, Reynolds!
No, it's a valid point.
I'm beginning to wonder
if you're really ready.
If I could actually give you
the reins to a brand-new store
with double the workforce,
could you handle it properly?
Is that really your concern?
What, you think it's different?
Hey, son, if you had
the sand to think it,
then by all means, say it.
Do you think you have what
it takes to be a dealer?
Huh, chief, to be an owner?
Is that a trick question?
No.
Then, yeah, absolutely.
Good, because today
we're going to find out.
Mark, you hit 300, retail,
sold and reported
by 5:00,
and put a bullet
in Scott's head,
then that new dealership
is yours.
You don't,
and you get what you see
when you close your eyes.
What about the checks?
What about them?
What do I tell them?
Tell them? You still don't
get it, do you, mark?
Oh, that's right. That's
not what you would do
if you ran the new dealership.
But if I were you,
I would tell them whatever
I needed to tell them
to hit 300 fucking cars.
Tell them the check
machine ran out of ink.
Tell them you ran out of checks.
Tell them
a fucking bedtime story.
I don't give a shit!
But I suggest that you
stop coddling these guys.
Get tough.
Get eight inches deep
up someone's ass.
Whatever it takes.
Because believe me, son,
if you can't or won't,
I can assure you...
I will find someone...
Who can and will.
Get past it.
Get past it.
Get past...
In the hole!
Shunk.
He wishes. Hey.
It's daddy's deal.
Everybody, listen up.
Everybody, listen up.
What's up?
Hey, tell 'em what
you did last night.
I got a ride
in Rex Chapman's El Camino.
And he's coming down
here today to buy a car.
And, Christian, if I see you
even walk towards him a step...
Uh-oh.
Wait a minute.
Who do you think
sold him the El Camino?
Ohh!
He's already his customer.
1972?
All right. All right.
Hey, Quinn.
Quinn. Quinn.
How 'bout some coffee?
Sam Worthington.
Hey, uh, green pea, green pea,
pass me the coffee.
Pass him the coffee.
I... it's right
in front of...
Pass me the coffee, green pea.
I'm getting tired over here.
Okay, I'm passing you...
Caleb:
Put that coffee down.
Uh...
Coffee's for closers only.
You think I'm fucking with you?
No.
I'm not fucking with you.
I'm here from downtown.
I'm here from Mitch and Murray,
and I'm here
on a mission of mercy.
Your name's Levine?
Yep.
Yep.
You call yourself a salesman,
you son of a bitch?
All: I don't gotta
listen to this shit!
You certainly don't, pal,
'cause the good news
is you're fired.
The bad news is you've got...
You've all got just one
week to regain your jobs,
starting with tonight,
starting with tonight's sit.
Si...
Oh, have I got
your attention now?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Whoo!
My man.
So is that from a movie
or something?
You've never seen "glengarry"?
Nah. They don't show that shit
on nickelodeon. That's why.
This an "icarly" guy?
Couldn't sell him a basketball.
Well, I'm gonna get an autographed
basketball when he leaves,
and I'll put it in my office
for all you motherfuckers.
Oh, you have an office now?
"Spongebob."
For all you motherfuckers.
I'm taking yours.
Boyd, where's Scott?
He's outside talking
to the hospital.
Great training video.
It was fun.
All right, everybody, listen up.
Good morning. Morning. Morning.
Boyd, is everyone here?
Everyone but Reynolds.
Dick.
Oh, man.
Hey, boss, forgive me,
but regarding our paychecks?
Yes, I know,
and believe me when I tell you
my old man and I are
just as upset as you are.
So let me explain.
Actually, no. First of all,
let me just say thank you
to each and every one of you
for all the extra work
you've put in this year.
I know it's been a tough one,
and I know that some of you
have been struggling,
and I just want you to know
that that hasn't gone unnoticed.
So as you all know,
we have been competing
in hopes of earning
the manufacturer's favor
for the new store
in the east valley,
but what you might not know
is that last week,
we were chosen
to be one of the finalists.
All right.
Yes.
Which resulted in Detroit
sending us some
new payroll software,
in the hopes that by the time
the new store is awarded,
we would have had
the bugs worked out.
Now, clearly
that has not happened,
so I went to my old man, and I convinced
him to manually cut your checks,
so in addition to the $5,000
in spiff money I have
for you guys this weekend,
I can also guarantee
that you will be paid on Monday.
My man.
All right.
Whoo!
Forgive me for not joining
in the festivities,
but it's not like we haven't heard
this before, and quite frankly,
it's always turned out
to be a load of horseshit.
Yeah, seriously, boss.
Yeah, well, guess what.
I'm not Reynolds.
Clearly, but, uh, why don't you
tell 'em the catch, boss?
What the fuck, Reynolds?
Just hang on, everybody.
Calm down.
Fuck! See?
Here's the horseshit.
Hey, Max, how many fucking cars
do you have out for the
month, anyway? Four?
You think you're even
getting a check?
Shit, if I were you,
I'd be more concerned
about getting my walking
papers than a check.
What's the catch?
300 cars.
By when?
5:00 P.M. today.
And where are we now?
Pbbt.
35 cars in eight hours?
I mean, I don't want to
piss on the fire with Max,
but this isn't exactly 2007.
I mean, what do you
think the odds are
of accomplishing that
when our best day
in the last five years
has been 20?
Well, I don't know.
How many cars do you
have out this month, Christian?
Okay.
And I'm sorry.
Just refresh my memory.
What's your bonus payout,
just roughly, on those 26 cars?
Uh, roughly $4,373.23.
Roughly.
So what do you stand
to make if you hit 30?
30-unit bonus, an additional
five or six grand.
Whew.
Wow.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I would say the chances
are pretty good.
'Cause with the exception
of a few of you,
Christian's not the
only one in this room
with a seat at that table,
so the way I see it,
hitting 300 is the only option.
So what does that mean?
It means that today,
every single person
that steps foot on this lot
is a stone-cold buyer,
without exception.
What does that mean?
It means that they're
properly greeted.
Hello,
Mr. and Mrs. customer.
Welcome to
the Chamberlain auto team.
My name is mark.
How can I help you today?
You take control
of that deal from the start,
doing all of those little things
that that Jack-off
at the store they just left
didn't do. I'm talking
about prequalifying them,
landing them
on the right vehicle,
giving them
the proper walk-around.
You go with them
on the test drive.
Assumptive closing
the whole way.
So, Mr. and Mrs. customer,
where do you plan on taking that
first vacation in your new vehicle?
They answer you, it means
they're taking ownership.
You assumptive close
when you get back to the lot
by having them park that car
in the sold row.
They do, they're taking
ownership again.
Then you bring them inside,
you sit them down,
and you get them something
to eat and drink.
Now, quick, $250 cash in fist
right now
to the first person
who can tell me
why we provide
free hot dogs and sodas.
And, no, before you say it,
it's not to keep your asses fat.
Hey, Brady,
I'm talking to you, pal.
Quinn, now. Go.
Uh, because after you've eaten,
you're always tired
and less combative.
And...
And when you're
given some for free,
you feel more
obligated to listen.
Bingo.
So, last, but not least,
it means that you get
those three cs,
credit app, cash,
and commitment.
You ask for that sale.
You don't leave
a penny on the table,
and no one...
And I mean no one...
Leaves this store with fewer than
three people talking to them.
I don't care if you're having
a problem with the customer.
You turn them,
because half of something
is better than...
All of nothing!
All of nothing!
Now, do you understand me?!
Yes! Yes! Come on!
I said,
"do you understand me?!"
Yes!
Yes!
Let's get fired up and go
sell some fucking cars!
Let's do this, boss man.
Nice one.
Let's go, guys. Come on.
Boyd: Bam. Bam.
Go get 'em.
Come on.
Let's go, Griggs.
Let's get to it.
Not bad, Knute Rockne.
Thanks.
Let's sell some cars, right?
Mm-hmm.
All right.
Let's go, Griggs!
Let's sell some cars!
Whoo!
This is the 4-square,
where the negotiating begins.
Remember the number one rule
in the car business.
You sell on your feet.
You negotiate in your seat.
By the time the customer sits,
the question isn't whether
or not they're buying,
but how do they plan
on paying for it,
and more importantly, how
much money are we gonna make?
Max: You shitting me?
Don't look at me like that, Max.
Come on. You know
on the first pencil,
you gotta scrape 'em
off the ceiling.
Go make the deal, man.
Boyd, what office?
64-03.
Sure. Call and negotiate
if you want, but come on.
You know he's up there plotting
with his manager, just trying to...
There's not
a customer on the planet
that won't tell you the same thing.
"Fucking hate the negotiation process.
"Why do you have to keep going back and
forth, checking with your manager?
Why can't you just give me the
bottom-line price right off the bat?"
'Cause, green pea, listen,
if it truly was the bottom-line
price I was giving them,
they would still feel like
they were getting fucked.
Because of the number one
rule in the car business.
Sell on your feet.
Negotiate in your seat.
The customer always
has to feel like he won,
like he got himself a good deal.
It's one of the main reasons
why we negotiate.
And trust me,
he wants nothing more
than to walk
in the office on Monday
and say, "those cocksuckers
didn't get over on me.
I got over on them."
Wow, man, you gotta
be kidding me.
Really? 665 a month?
Come on. Are you trying
to screw me up the...
Now, another reason we negotiate
is we can pencil in high
on the first round of numbers,
because you never know.
You might get lucky,
step on your own dick,
and find the guy
who's willing to pay it
because of the number one rule.
The customer always want
to feel like they won.
Sit on...
Sell on your feet.
Negotiate in your seat.
You can always go down
in price, green pea,
but you can never,
ever go back up.
You know there's three
number-one rules, right?
Mr. Stephens, I can
fully appreciate that.
I'm looking at the ad myself,
but you're comparing...
apples to oranges, Mr.
Brenner.
If you're looking at
price, that's fine,
but I gotta warn you...
It's a widely known fact,
Mrs. brown,
that nice cars aren't cheap,
and cheap cars aren't nice.
Sheri, I am sorry.
I am not showing
any dark graphite metallic
four-doors in stock.
Sure. I would be happy
to check for you.
Uh, can you call back
in, say, 10 minutes?
What the fuck are you doing?
Put her on hold.
Sheri, can you, uh, hold
for a second, please?
Get the fuck up. Go.
Get the...
You wanna slit your own throat,
it's best done with a knife.
Hey, Sheri.
Mike Chamberlain here.
I'm one of the owners.
I apologize,
but Ryan here is new,
and, uh, he was mistakenly looking
at an old inventory sheet.
If you'll give me a second
to get the new one,
I think we might just have
the car you're looking for.
Excellent.
I'll be right back.
I mean, what the fuck?
Our biggest day, and I still
gotta spoon-feed you nimrods.
You are weaker
than surface lemonade.
Hey, I'm back.
Sorry 'bout that.
Now let me check here.
Ah, you know what?
We do have one.
We have a dark graphite
metallic four-door in stock.
Actually it looks like it was
just dropped off this morning.
No kidding? I'm the only
dealership in the city with one?
Wow. That doesn't
surprise me, Sheri,
as I do have the largest
inventory in the state.
What time would you
like to get here?
1:00.
1:00 would be great.
Yeah, that sounds perfect.
When you get here,
just ask for Ryan,
and I will personally see to it that
he takes excellent care of you.
All right, Sheri.
Wonderful. Okay.
See you then. Bye-bye.
Now log it.
So we do have the car?
Yep, but something tells me
it's gonna sell
before she gets here.
Dick.
I call to verify any one
of those and its shit,
your first deal
of the day is half.
Hey, Boyd, have you seen Scott?
He's out back
stocking in his trades.
All right, have him
find me when he's back.
Hey, wait a minute. Am I
missing something here, man?
'Cause I can't help but feel
like I'm late for the prom.
No.
You sure about that?
Yep.
Available sales
to the showroom, please.
As I explained
to this nice young man,
and having recently lost
my Edward,
I've had to do a lot of
things on my own lately.
Oh, I am so sorry, Ann.
I can only imagine.
Yes. And being
a woman of faith,
a never make a decision
without having
prayed on it first.
Well, believe me, Ann, I can
more than appreciate that,
having been raised
catholic myself.
I can't recall a decision,
be it big or small,
that my mother
didn't pray about.
Oh.
Rest her soul.
Oh.
Do you attend our lady
of perpetual help?
I do.
Oh.
I'm sorry.
I didn't know.
Oh, no, Ann, don't be.
In this business, we often
have to work on Sundays,
so I don't make it to mass
near as much as I'd like.
I can understand that.
Thank you. Which...
You know, now that I
think about it, um,
if it wouldn't be too presumptuous
and if you wouldn't mind,
I'd really like to pray
with you about this.
Oh, really?
Good lord knows I could use it.
Well, Mr. Chamberlain...
Well, that would be nice.
Thank you.
Care to join us, George?
Uh, sure.
Dear heavenly father,
my savior, my lord,
and my redeemer,
once again, I call upon thee.
Tell me what to do, and thy will
be done in this transaction.
Amen.
Amen.
Amen.
Heh.
And look at all
the room in the back.
You're a catholic?
You know the last three
words in the Bible, George?
"Get the money."
Now you help a customer
and close it,
that deal's entirely yours.
Now, you help a customer
and someone else closes it,
they get half.
And spiffs?
Oh, spiffs are easy.
That's all cash in fist.
First deal of the day
pays 200, as does the last.
Now, hat trick, that's three
cars sold in the same day,
that's 300.
But the pice de rsistance...
Heh... trunking someone,
that's 100.
Trunking someone?
Ah, if we're lucky.
Now, the three
most important things
that you'll learn
in this business...
The number one rules.
Okay.
Circle jerks...
Like that one...
Are the reason
why 5% of the guys
in this business
make 95% of the money.
They are a cancer,
so stay out of 'em.
Second, the only person who cares about
your success here more than you is me,
and I mean that.
And last, but not least
is the story
of the lion and the gazelle.
Every morning in Africa,
gazelle wakes up and knows it will
have to outrun the fastest lion,
or it will be killed.
And every morning in Africa,
the lion wakes up and knows
it will have to outrun
the slowest gazelle,
or it will starve to death.
So when the sun comes up, it doesn't
matter whether you're a lion or a gazelle.
You better be running.
But, really, who wants
to be a fucking gazelle?
You stick with me,
I'll make you a fucking lion.
Coming?
Yes.
I'm a lion.
$60,000 car, $80,000...
It's like,
"pick a car, guy..."
All right, today's
your big day, green pea.
Yeah?
Try not to get mauled.
I don't care what you guys say. I'm next.
That's the way it is.
You're not next, Caleb.
I am, then Brady, then Jayson.
Bullshit.
I was out here first.
But then you left, which
means you've lost your turn.
I'm having a bad month
here, all right?
Really, dude?
I got bills to pay.
I got mouths to feed,
okay, dude?
You got mouths to feed?
Seen Brady's fat-ass kid?
I think his two-year-old's
a diabetic already.
That's not cool, man.
So what do you
think of all this?
So far, so good.
I just hope I have
what it takes to be a lion.
Mm, Christian showed you
his paycheck, did he?
Yeah. That's insane.
Hmm. It's also
from 2007.
If I were you, I'd be careful.
Service, line two, please.
Why's that?
Because lions are notorious
for eating their young.
Caleb:
That's bullshit.
Since when is grabbing a bite to
eat cause for losing your turn?
It's not, Caleb,
but going inside is.
Look, if you were hungry, you
should have just grabbed
a fucking hot dog, guy.
Exactly.
Fuck you guys. You know
that shit's not kosher.
Aww.
Heathens.
Ohh.
So you lost your turn.
It's not like it
can get any worse.
Then again, maybe it can.
Money time.
Money time, baby.
Money time.
Children, relax.
You're getting all
worked up over nothing.
Oh, yeah?
Why is that, Sharon?
Because that is Edward,
my realtor,
my appointment.
Motherfucker.
Kid.
I suggest you boys all
find a new profession.
What makes you say that?
'Cause we just got played.
Shit.
Man.
There you go.
Oh, that one's not for you.
That's for your kids.
You coming?
Yes, sir.
Boyd, Boyd, where's mark?
Boyd, I asked you a question.
He's busy.
Doing what?
I don't know. It's not
my day to watch him.
Fellas, where are your ties?
I told 'em not to wear 'em.
Why? Are you aware
of a change in policy
regarding company attire
that I'm not?
'Cause it's Saturday, Reynolds.
We wear ties here every day,
even on Saturdays,
so go get 'em.
They left 'em at home.
Well, maybe they ought
to go home and get 'em.
Come on.
They should be worried
about selling cars
and making money,
Reynolds, not ties.
You might want to do the same.
Well, maybe you just
better watch yourself.
Or what?
Hey!
Are we having another problem?
No. No,
no problem at all.
I was just reminding
your boy here
about the, uh, dress code.
And I was just
reminding this tripe
that he better
check himself, mark.
Check myself?
What is this, amateur
night at the Apollo?
Just better make sure
that your alligator mouth
isn't writing checks that your
lizard ass can't cash, Boyd,
or you just might find yourself
in the unemployment line...
With Scott.
I'm this close, mark.
To what?
When I get this new dealership,
you're gonna be
my general sales manager.
Do you really
wanna jeopardize that
over some fucking
neanderthal in a pinstripe?
Just focus on selling 300 cars.
I'll take care of him.
And that shit about Scott?
What? He's talking
out of his ass.
300 cars, Boyd.
That'd be too funny.
If you're not coming in here
to work a deal or log an
appointment, get the fuck out.
Thanks.
Hey, mark.
Take care of Scott yet?
Look, man,
sometimes the best thing
you can do for a guy
is fire him.
Some people have
no business doing this,
and oftentimes a little push
is all it takes
for them to realize it.
You really are
a piece of shit, Reynolds.
I'm a piece of shit?
I mean, correct me
if I'm wrong, mark,
but you're the one
about to fire him.
Yeah, because you
threw him under the bus.
No, because just like me,
you know it's what you have
to do to get what you want.
I am nothing like you.
Oh, you got that right.
You see, mark, some
of us have to fight.
We can't all be members of
the lucky sperm club, mark.
Fuck you.
Heh heh.
I am where I am
because I busted my ass,
unlike some people who get to just
back-stab their way to the middle.
Don't kid yourself.
You are where you are
because you got a PHD,
papa has a dealership,
and for no other reason
than that.
He doesn't have this place,
and you're nothing, mark,
just another old car dog.
Oh, Boyd said
you wanted to see me.
Yeah.
Everything okay?
Yeah.
Scott:
Fucking Reynolds.
Look, Scott, I...
I know you're pissed.
Fucking-a, I'm pissed!
I'm devastated.
I have done everything
ever asked of me at this place.
Forgive me if I envisioned maybe a
fucking parting watch or something.
Well, I...
I don't know what to say, okay?
I need this job, mark.
Yeah.
I need this job.
You know how hard it is
out there right now?
I'm having a baby, man.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
This wasn't
my decision. I...
You know, I tried.
I...
Look, I don't know what you
want me to tell you, Scott.
I want you to tell me you're
gonna try to do something.
I want you to tell me
that the virtue of loyalty
still means something at the
giant Chamberlain auto team.
Tell me the sins of the father
aren't passed down
from generation to generation.
Reynolds:
Yeah, trust me.
I've got the new store, and I will
be making a shit-ton more money.
By the way, what's tripe?
Just so there's no hard feelings
and you understand
when it happens,
you utter the word "boy" again,
I'm gonna knock
the fucking taste
out your mouth.
You got that?
Well, that's precisely
what I'm counting on, Boyd.
See, that way, I won't
have to waste the breath
it takes to fire your black ass.
I'll slap your...
I hope this little
meeting of the minds
is about selling cars,
gentlemen.
Oh, it is.
Boyd and I
were just going over
today's appointments.
Well, good.
When you're through,
Ahmad's here.
I need you to deal with him.
Oh, we're done for now.
Boyd, how's the 300
looking, son?
Good. We have a good day
lined up, sir.
Reynolds, I'll meet you
out there.
Attaboy.
Ahmad: Come on, Reynolds.
The book cracks
on this thing for 7,300.
And... Don't even get me
started on the color.
What the fuck is wrong
with the color?
People like to wear it,
my friend.
They don't like to drive it.
I'll give you 6,800.
No, Ahmad, you like to wear it,
and you're killing me.
7,800.
You're killing me.
That, that right here, too rich.
I'm just a lowly used-car
wholesaler here.
Help me out.
Mm-hmm.
Too rich, my ass.
Look at your wrist.
It was a gift from my mother.
Oh, I got a gift
for your mother, actually.
Ahmad.
Hi.
How are you?
Good. Mr. Chamberlain,
how are things here
at the giant Chamberlain
auto team, huh?
Oh, I can't complain.
Did you get your new store yet?
Getting close.
That's funny,
because I was just
over at Phoenix,
and they said the same thing.
I would expect that.
So where are we?
Uh, nine cars for 153k.
And Reynolds told you
that we're having
a manufacturer's audit
on Tuesday,
so you can't pick up
the cars until then?
No. No, he didn't.
It's all right.
I don't even have enough
drivers for today anyway,
so I'll just, uh...
I'll pick 'em up
and pay for 'em then.
I'm sorry.
Ahmad, forgive me.
How's your dad?
He's good.
He's good.
Thank you.
He should be up on his feet
and back to work in no time.
Good.
I'm glad to hear that.
You're still
up on bell road, right?
Yep, still there.
You know, I remember
when your dad came to me
and asked me if he
should buy that place.
Yes, and I'm sure
he's forever grateful
for all the advice you gave him.
Ah, I'm happy to help.
You know, must have been tough
when you came here,
Arizona, strange country.
You were this high.
You were washing cars
for your dad.
I was gonna poach you from him.
Heh. I'll be sure
to let him know.
So what time would I be able to
pick them up on Tuesday, then, huh?
Actually, Ahmad,
I have to ask a favor.
Um, I'd like you
to pay for the cars today,
but not pick them up
until Tuesday.
It's nothing that your dad
wouldn't do.
I'm confused here a little.
Are you asking me for a loan?
No, I'm asking you
for a return of a favor.
A favor?
Mr. Chamberlain,
I'm sorry.
There's a big
difference between,
you know, giving
real-estate advice
and loaning someone $150,000.
Heh heh. Two days.
A loan, all the same.
And if my father were
here, he would agree.
You know, when your dad
and I first started out,
there was such a thing
as loyalty and allegiance.
It was good for business,
still is.
Oh, yes.
Yes, I hear loyalty's big
at the Chamberlain auto team.
Well, if that's the way
you want to play it,
you just go back up
to your place on bell road,
and you tell your dad that this
business relationship is dead.
You understand, my friend?
What an asshole.
Told you he wasn't
like his old man.
Caleb: They seriously
firing Scott?
Certainly looks that way.
Who's Scott?
Unbelievable.
Hey, how many times
I gotta tell you?
Go sell cars!
Move!
Hold up. You okay?
Look like you're about to go
UFC and choke somebody out.
Reynolds.
But believe me,
it's gonna involve
more than choking.
Oh. When it goes down,
make sure I'm around.
This is about Scott, I take it.
What about him?
Seriously?
Shit, Reynolds been
running his mouth
to all the guys all week
about Scott maybe getting...
You know what?
Fuck him, all right?
He's just talking
out of his ass.
Maybe, but if what appears to be
happening is actually happening,
he may have it right this time.
Take a seat.
Is everything all right?
Yeah, I just need to fill you
in on the new dealership.
So you know that we have
to show the manufacturer
we have $300,000 in escrow,
but we only have 150
from payroll.
Reynolds was supposed
to secure the other 150
through his relationship
with Ahmad.
Ahmad? The guy who hates Reynolds?
You know that, right?
It was something that got by me.
I didn't see it coming.
So I need someone to step up.
Yeah. Okay.
What do you need me to do?
I need to know if you know
anyone we can wholesale cars to,
150 grand worth,
with the understanding
that they pay for them today
and that they
can't take delivery
until after the manufacturer's
audit on Tuesday.
Of course.
Do you know anyone?
Yeah.
Yeah, my buddy Russell.
He'll... he'll be able
to help us out.
Russell?
Yeah, Russell.
You're sure?
I'm sure.
All right.
When he gets back to you,
get back to me.
It's tough to run a store, mark.
And I hope you
understand the decision
to fire Scott was
purely a business one.
You showed some steel today.
Maybe you do have what it takes.
Whoo!
Good job.
You did a good job.
Good, George.
Hey.
All right, let's go.
Everyone out.
Come on. Let's go.
Get out!
Sell my car and get my...
Hey, man, get the fuck out, man!
Did you hear what I just said?
Are you on that?
I see it. Damn.
Tell me you didn't.
He's having a baby, mark.
Yeah, I know that.
Thank you.
And you just
gonna cut him loose?
And what would you
suggest I do, Boyd?
I suggest you telling your
father to go fuck himself.
How 'bout that?
Shit, he might respect you then.
Well, in theory,
that sounds wonderful, Boyd,
but I'm not here to win the
battle just to lose the war.
Spare me with the sun Tzu shit.
And what's that
supposed to mean?
It means that
you blew out a guy,
all right, who's
worked at this store
for the past 20 fucking years.
Are you out of your mind, mark?
Don't you realize...
That every guy that works
here, including myself,
would have quit
a long time ago, man,
if they didn't
respect you, okay?
Mark, listen to me!
Mark.
They believe you,
not like your father,
who they know don't
give a shit about them,
'cause they know deep down
inside that you care,
and you go and you
pull this shit.
Bullshit, Boyd!
Most of these guys
are here because we have
the best payment plan
in the city. That's it.
You see any of them have my
back in this morning's meeting
until I told them how much
money they stood to make?
Speaking of, are they actually
gonna get paid on Monday,
or was that just some more
bullshit that you're saying, mark?
Look, I don't like how my father runs
this place any more than you do,
but I have a responsibility...
No, listen to me!
Are they,
or aren't they
gonna get paid, mark?
Don't bullshit me.
Don't fucking bullshit me.
Unbelievable, mark.
Boyd, listen to me, okay?
If we don't get
to 300 cars by 5:00 P.M. today,
none of it is gonna matter,
anyway, all right?
Because nothing is gonna change.
Okay.
You're right.
"Okay"?
"Okay"?
What, are you and I not
on the same page anymore?
You know what?
Go fuck yourself, mark.
Where do you think you're going?
Look here, mark.
Look, you can lie
to the customer,
and you can lie to me,
but you can't lie
to yourself, man.
Mm.
And I know you're
up in your head
about your new car dealership
and changing things,
but the fact is...
You're scared of your old man,
and that's the reason
why Scott got fired.
What? Little problem
just showed up.
Yo, boss.
I need to speak to the
boss right fucking now!
You're not the owner,
are you? No.
Shut it.
Mark: Excuse me.
Excuse me. You wanna
watch your mouth?
Who the fuck are you?
I'm the owner.
Oh, that's good.
I want to talk to you.
You know what? I bought a car
here last night from her.
Yes, you did.
I don't want it.
Well, that makes two of us.
I know my fucking rights,
so let's not play any games.
No, let's not,
but first things first.
You swear at me again, and I will throw
your fucking ass right out of my store.
Now, I was about to go outside
and get a free hot dog
and a coke.
What do you say you join me?
If the price were right
on this one,
would you be willing
to go colorblind?
Like I told you on the phone
this morning,
Mr. Chamberlain,
I'm looking for dark
graphite, not arctic silver.
And I can appreciate
that, Sheri, but...
I came to get the car that I drove
for more than an hour to buy,
a car, quite frankly, I'm beginning
to doubt that you ever had.
Sheri, I assure you,
it was here.
I mean, I personally put my hands
on it just moments after we spoke.
Then where is it?
Heh. That's a good question.
Three-day consumer
right of refusal in Arizona
applies only to sales
in which the seller
solicits you
at your place of residence,
and I didn't come
to your home, chief.
You came to mine.
Well, that's not exactly
what my attorney told me.
Well, then you should fire
him, 'cause he's wrong.
You know, it really
doesn't matter, anyway,
because you have
your own return policy.
Wrong again.
I have an exchange policy.
Does this look
like Walmart to you?
And the answer may be,
you know, that it sold
in the time it took you
to get here.
That's not uncommon
in this business.
And if that is the case,
I deeply apologize,
and I will take
very good care of you...
On one of these arctic silvers.
Like I told you...
But before we rush to judgment,
let me check with
one of my managers.
I mean, for all I know, it was sent
out for a window tint or something.
Yeah, right.
Okay.
Let's head in.
You want a hot dog?
Vegetarian.
Vegan hot dog?
Hey, man, don't patronize me.
Then don't play stupid
with me, Mr. Mcmillen.
Come on, man.
You signed a contract.
You can't just unwind because your
wife didn't give you permission.
Look, okay, I get it.
You came in yesterday
without your wife,
wanted to just look around,
and then you happened to find
something that you liked.
It's okay.
Hey, it happens, all right?
You're not the first, and you're
certainly not gonna be the last.
You know, this is why
people hate buying cars.
Right, because it's our fault
that you made a major purchase
without talking
to your wife first.
I can see how we'd
be to blame for that.
Here. I'll tell you what.
If it'll help
smooth things over,
why don't you
have your wife call me?
I'm serious.
Anytime, okay? Maybe...
No, I don't think so. Think I'm
gonna call the Attorney General.
I think this is a matter that
he would like to discuss.
You know what?
That is a great idea.
You should call him, and when
you get Gary on the line,
I want you to ask him how
Debra, his wife, is doing
and how she's enjoying that
new suburban she's driving,
you know, the one
she's borrowing from us.
Mr. Mcmillen,
you got a great car.
Enjoy it.
Want a hot dog?
Nice work.
I have my moments.
Don't forget to hide
that idiot's trade-in.
I don't want him
getting any bright ideas.
I won't, just as long as you
don't forget about your wife.
I...
I go to sleep,
you're not home.
I get up, you're already gone.
And if we do manage
to share a word,
it almost always ends
in a car deal.
Okay.
I...
I hear you,
all right? I do.
I'm listening, okay?
But I really
need you to hear me.
I need one more day...
Okay, mark, this isn't
about one more day.
This is about
what's best for you
taking priority over anyone
or anything else.
I mean, this is about you choosing
the store above our marriage,
and that all doesn't
change with one more day.
Ashley, I have been
working my ass off...
You really think your dad's just gonna
suddenly up and change his ways?
No! But it
doesn't matter.
Okay? It doesn't,
because as soon
as I have my new store,
you have no idea. Everything
is gonna change for us, okay...
Mark, that's the problem.
The new store
shouldn't be the catalyst
for things being different.
So what are you saying, ash?
'Cause you lead
a pretty good life.
I...
And you know what, mark?
Just once,
I wish you would talk to me
like I'm your wife
and not some customer, okay?
No clichs, no number one rules,
no whatever it takes, just once.
Yeah.
You're right.
Look...
Hey, mark,
just wanted to let you know
your dad's looking for you.
I...
Malcolm, on P.A.:
Mark to my office.
Mark to my office.
When I page you,
it's for a reason.
I was handling heat.
I don't give a shit.
What about the 150 grand?
Have you talked to Russell?
Yes. I spoke to him,
and we're good.
He said he's personally
deposit it on Monday.
And you were gonna tell me when?
For the holidays?
Maybe for my birthday?
As a gift?
Put a bow on it?
I'm telling you now!
For sure?
Yes! He's one
of my best friends!
He's a used-car
wholesaler.
I give you my word.
Your word?
Good.
And what about the car
that Scott gave away this morning?
The Barretts?
She's coming in an hour.
I'll handle it.
Uh, you better.
'Cause contrary
to what you think,
this is not
a charitable organization.
Now what about you?
19 cars.
19 cars.
Better get back to work.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
Sheri, I assure you,
no one's trying
to bait and switch you, okay?
But like I said,
I'd be more than happy
to give you 100 over cost on any
other vehicle I have on stock.
No, I think I'm done
with the runaround.
But I'll be sure to let the
better business bureau
know about your practices.
Then maybe next time you'll think
twice about telling a customer
you have a car in
inventory when you don't.
Again, Sheri,
that wasn't the case at all.
Oh, well, I think it was.
And you'll be hearing
from my senator as well.
Your senator?
Heh. Wow.
You know, usually
customers threaten
to sic the attorney general
on me, but a senator,
well played, Sheri,
really well played.
And what, I suppose you've
got him on direct dial?
You know, I put
millions of dollars...
Where are we at?
Look right here.
And I can't get him
to return my calls,
so good luck
with that, sweetheart.
Hey, Reynolds, how's
the selling coming?
I hope that little bitch
does call her senator.
Fix it. Go.
Yo, boss, I got one.
There's a couple out there
that just sold their old car,
and they're looking
for a new one.
Okay, relax. Did they
pick out a car yet?
No, not yet. I think
they're looking...
Christian, please,
can you take the puppy outside?
Come on.
Let's get you outside
before you piss yourself.
Fuck, yeah.
All right, everybody, listen up!
It's 2:15, and we are
sitting on 20 cars,
which means we have less than
three hours and 15 cars to go!
That means there are 15 people
in the great state of Arizona
that are looking for you to
connect them with a new vehicle.
What do you say
we make that happen?
Time to rock-'n'-roll!
Let's go! Let's go!
Hi.
What do you think, man?
He said he wants to pay invoice.
Tell him when he
rounds up $10 million,
he can buy his own store and pay
invoice for any car he likes,
but until then,
that's the price.
I'm making no money
off of this deal,
just so you know.
And I still have to pay
these two guys commission.
You see 'em? All right?
So do we got a deal?
Safety and fuel economy, okay?
25 mpg city...
I think we have a match.
I love your hair with
the color of this car.
How 'bout now?
Watch and learn.
Just sold one to Katy Perry.
Woman: Oh!
Same color.
Oh, my god.
It has Bluetooth...
Fisher, hi.
Heard the divorce is final.
I have a lot of convertibles I
think you'd be interested in.
What's that gonna cost us?
No, it comes
with the car, sweetie.
Yeah, sweetie,
it comes with the car.
I was only
able to... Bam!
Hey, let's go ring the big bell.
Singer: All good.
You know I got this...
Come on.
Yeah.
Board it.
Singer: What? Extra?
It'll be all good. Don't...
I love this car for you.
So what do we think?
I love it.
I'll tell you
after I see the numbers.
Nice rally.
I can't wait for that
pep talk come Monday.
Save it.
We got a live one, Jefe.
I got 'em downing I-tryptophan
dogs as we speak,
so I figure in about 15 minutes,
I'll have 'em right
where I want 'em, comatose.
That's good, because right now,
we are sitting at 299,
so that means you
don't let 'em leave.
We understand?
Right.
All right.
Go get 'em.
Green pea.
Hey, what office are you in?
Christian: 64-04.
Max, pull it up.
Christian: You know your
finances better than I do, tom,
and quite frankly,
I don't see how
we can get there.
I mean, look,
I have no problem
giving you a great deal,
but honestly
I think we'd be lucky
if we got anywhere near the
600 to 625 a month range.
Yeah, here's what
you should know.
This is the last Altima XL
that we have in stock, tom,
and it could be...
Actually, I believe,
the last one that we have
in the entire state.
Actually, Christian,
there's one out back.
It's in the...
It's in the back, right?
The one with the defective motor
that's being returned
to the manufacturer.
Heh.
I should also let you know,
tom, that a few
of the other salesmen
have confirmed appointments
today on this very vehicle,
and, Jan, I mean, I would
hate to see you lose it.
I mean, I know
how much you love it.
Now, listen, if I could...
And I'm not saying that
I can, but if I could, Jan,
split it with you and, let's
say, get the payments to...
575 a month plus tax,
look at that.
Would you be willing
to buy and drive today?
I'm sorry, Christian.
$500 a month,
or we're gonna have to pass.
Well, as certain as I am
that 500 a month
does not buy this car,
I don't make the decisions.
I just present the offers.
So sit tight, tom,
and, uh, let me see
what I can do.
Jan: Honey, I thought
you said we'd go
as high as 550 a month.
Tom: If we have to.
But there's no way in hell
I'm telling him that.
If you ever open your mouth
when I'm closing
a deal, I will break
your fucking neck.
Do you understand me?
Yeah.
Motherfuck.
Tom: Just let me
handle this, okay?
I mean, this is
how you play the game.
They always start real high, and
then you gotta Jew 'em down.
Jan: You know I hate that.
All right, it's 100 bucks
of my own money
plus the store's 100 if
Christian can trunk this prick.
Who wants in?
In.
Throw 10 in on this asshole.
I got 20 on this anti-Semite.
Let's do this.
Got 50 on it.
Christian, take him down.
255, plus the store's 100
if you can trunk him,
but we have to sell
that car first.
Sharon.
Eh?
Whoa, whoa. Wait a minute. I'm
not turning these chumps.
Who said anything
about turning them?
Christian, you missed
half the conversation
on your way
up to the sales tower.
Jan doesn't know it,
but she just closed
the deal for you.
Now, you two up for
a little "playhouse 90"?
Go get 'em.
Tom, Jan, I'm sorry.
My boss said exactly
what I thought he would.
"Christian, I have two confirmed
appointments due any minute,
both of whom have been quoted
payments of $625 a month."
Yeah, $625 a month.
That's what I said.
I said, "hell, no, boss.
"That will not fly.
"Jan and tom are good people.
"They'll give us referrals,
repeat business.
I'm not gonna ask them to pay that.
You gotta do better."
So just for you...
This is what he said
he could do.
Christian, I'm sorry, but $580
a month is still too high.
Christian, hi.
Sorry to interrupt, folks.
Do you have the keys to the XL?
My customers are back.
To the XL? Um...
Yeah. They're right here.
I think it's done.
Good luck.
Good luck.
Thanks.
Um, I mean, sorry, Jan.
I mean, this is
the car business.
You win some, and
unfortunately you lose some.
Wait. Wait. Uh...
Would you say $550 a month?
Hmm?
I said...
Board it.
Yes!
Oh!
Christian! Nice.
Christian.
Whoo! 300.
Sweet pea.
Go get the paperwork off
my dad's desk, would you?
All right, green pea,
what do you say we go
pick up some loose change?
Trunk him!
Trunk! Trunk! Trunk!
Trunk! Trunk! Trunk!
Trunk! Trunk! Trunk!
You could sleep in there.
It's unbelievable.
You could sleep.
You could go camping.
Yeah.
Oh, we've always
wanted to do that.
I mean, hop in.
I mean, let me show you
h-how big it is.
I mean, hop in. Jan?
Hop in there.
Yeah, come on.
I'm not with the cartel.
Go on, honey.
Hop in.
No, you hop in.
Yeah, you hop in.
Here. Come on.
No. He's kidding.
He's kidding.
Come on. I want to show you
how big that is, Jan.
I mean, you put in there...
Oh, my gosh.
How' bout that?
It... it is roomy.
It's so roomy.
Would you get out
of there, please?
Honey...
Get out. Come on.
Hey, tom, get in there
with your wife.
That's enough.
Ah, I'll hop in.
I'll hop in... okay.
No.
All right.
There... it is...
Look at that.
You just get in there.
Just... that's..
Look how much room you have.
There.
Are you happy?
Look at that. It's
like being on a date.
Tom: Hey!
Right now!
Jan: Excuse me.
Hey, give...
That is not funny.
Just wait till I
sign the paperwork,
and then you pull
this kind of stunt?
Come on.
Honey, relax.
It was just a little funny.
Hey, how did it go
with the Mercedes guy?
Already boarded.
Everything okay?
Yeah. Yeah.
Other than my old man
moving the bar on me.
Yeah.
Yeah. Everything's fine.
That's not exactly
what I was talking about.
Yeah, I know exactly what you
were talking about, Sharon.
I just don't want to get
into it with you. Ah.
Come on. Sharon...
What? Oh, yeah.
I know. You got a lot
on your plate right now.
You think?
Yeah. All she's asking
is for you to make her and
your marriage a priority.
Stop.
She's here grasping at straws,
trying everything she can
to keep your marriage together,
and what you manage to do
is belittle her.
Belittle? How?
How am I belittling her?
I'm surprised, after everything
you've put her through
in the last three years
that you haven't
already come home
and found your shit
in the driveway.
She should be the most
important thing in your life.
She is.
Act like it.
Because we all
have a breaking point,
and I'm pretty sure Ashley's
very close to hers.
You gotta trust me.
I know that look.
What look?
When you left her there
sitting alone.
It's the same look
I gave my ex...
Right before he became my ex.
Good afternoon.
Good afternoon.
Welcome to
the Chamberlain auto team.
Thank you.
Someone I can help you find?
Christian, please.
Sure. Right this way.
And what about the car that
Scott gave away this morning?
Is this the mother from
Christian's two-car deal?
Christian: Trust me.
Deal's done.
Closed?
Have I ever let you down?
'Cause I have a number that I need
to hit by the end of the day.
Ashley is threatening to leave.
Apparently you're confusing me
with someone who gives a shit.
If I hit that number,
then everything is gonna be
completely different
for you and me.
300 cars, Boyd.
Mark, listen to me.
Don't bullshit me.
I'm not unwinding shit,
not today.
Mark, you hit 300, and that
new dealership is yours.
What do you need me to do?
Whatever it takes.
Mark: Hi.
So sorry to interrupt.
Ms. Barrett, I'm mark
Chamberlain, the owner.
Oh.
Great to meet you.
Hi, Nikki.
Hi.
Nice to meet you. Listen, I
just wanted to come down
and personally thank you
both for your business.
Um, do you have a minute?
Sure, sure. You'll be
okay for a minute.
Yeah.
Okay. Yeah, just this way.
Okay.
Thank you so much.
Mr. Chamberlain?
$100 more a month?
You're joking, right,
because that's not what
we agreed to last night.
We made a deal,
and a deal is a deal.
I know you have month-end
sales objectives.
I'm in sales, too. We take
short sales all the time.
I just can't take
a deal this short.
Now, that being said, I want
to do whatever it takes...
I'm sorry to hear you say that, Mr.
Chamberlain,
because not only have
you lost my deal today,
you've lost my daughter's.
Okay, Mrs. Barrett,
please...
Sorry to interrupt, mark,
but we need to talk.
No, no, no.
Not right now.
No, seriously, we need to talk.
Boyd, give me a minute.
Okay.
All right.
My daughter and I will be happy
to take our business
somewhere else.
Okay, Mrs. Barrett,
I completely own this mistake.
I know it's asking a lot,
but I would really
appreciate the opportunity
to at least try
and make this deal work.
Okay.
So let me see.
Okay, I see you...
You've been looking
at the vehicle with the suede
leather seats. Is that right?
That's right.
Great.
And the panoramic sunroof.
Yes.
Nice.
And the...
The premium sound.
Yes.
I have to admit,
it is a nice vehicle.
I know. That's why
I bought it.
Or thought I bought it.
I assume that Christian took you
out on a test drive, right?
He did.
Around the block,
or, um, he let you
open it up on the freeway?
The freeway.
That's good.
That's great.
You know, obviously we're not supposed
to do that for insurance reasons,
but I'm glad that Christian
was taking good care of you,
because truly
that is the only way...
Mr. Chamberlain,
I'm a busy woman.
Do you have an offer to make?
Mrs. Barrett, I appreciate how
patient you're being with me here,
but the odds of you finding another
white limited edition Chevy Tahoe
with all of these features
is pretty small.
To be honest, finding
any white limited edition SUV
in the state of Arizona right
now is practically impossible.
I know the competition.
I know their inventory.
You go to any dealership right now, and
I promise you you're not gonna find...
Mr. Chamberlain...
You're obviously
a very successful
businesswoman,
Mrs. Barrett,
and I am not trying to
pull one over on you here.
I am just trying to make sure
that you have all of the facts
before you make your decision.
Now obviously
as a successful businesswoman,
you know more than most
that time is money,
and I'm not just trying
to save you time here.
I'm actually saving you money.
Oh, yeah?
How do you figure?
What's your current monthly
car payment right now?
$600 a month.
$600 a month,
and that's on a car
that's about a year
out of warranty, right?
That's right.
Okay, so in that
short amount of time,
how much do you think you've
spent on maintenance, repairs?
500 bucks?
Try more like 1,000,
which is why I'm trying
to get rid of it.
Right. And I bet you haven't
budgeted for that thousand, right?
Because nobody does ever,
including me, by the way,
and I work in the business.
So you take that $1,000,
and then you divide it
by 12 months, what do you get?
$83.
And 33 cents,
on top of the monthly payment.
With all due respect,
Mrs. Barrett,
I'm actually saving you money.
That's a fair point.
I see you're a coffee drinker.
My addiction...
Triple soy lattes,
extra hot.
You?
Large double-caff,
extra hot.
Look, I'm just having
a good time here,
but with the $83 I just
saved you, that's what,
16 free large
double-caff lattes?
Extra hot.
Listen, Mr. Chamberlain,
you're making some
really good points here,
but I really don't like being...
Taken advantage of.
I know.
You know that land they're clearing
down by Greenway on the 101?
Yeah.
They're clearing that
for a new dealership.
My new dealership.
Look, Mrs. Barrett,
I know how people feel
about car salesmen.
Most of the time,
I completely understand.
I can't tell you how much I wanna
build something different...
A place where something like
this doesn't have to happen.
I want to build a place
where I don't
have to let go of one of my
best guys because of it.
You might not believe this,
but I want to build
a dealership that's...
Based on, you know,
relationships,
and not just in the short term,
but I want to take care of your
daughter and your daughter's daughter.
I want you to come to me every
time you want to buy a car,
not because you feel
like you have to,
but because you want to.
You know, I'm married,
hopefully starting
a family soon,
so I get it.
And that's why I really,
really want to do business
with you here today.
So what do you say?
Oh, yeah, aerobics, jazzercise,
I mean, high impact...
Mark: Tyler.
Do you know where Christian is?
Yeah, I think, um...
I'm not sure.
Okay. It's fine. Uh, you
know where detail is, right?
Could you please grab
Mrs. Barrett's new SUV
and take it over there?
Yes, sir.
Thank you.
Mrs. Barrett...
Please, Nancy.
Nancy.
Such a pleasure.
And, please, once the
new store is finished,
come by, and pop in. We'll
grab one of those lattes.
It's a deal.
Thank you so much, mark.
Take care.
Nancy: All right.
You know that
puts me at 30, right?
And how do you get to 30?
Closed the one earlier today.
Right.
Then the two-car
deal here.
Which I really shouldn't
count, but go on.
Plus the one I just wrapped up
with Jan and tom.
Bonus time, baby.
You mean the half that you
wrapped up with Jan and tom.
No, the guy I trunked.
With green pea.
Yeah, I'm no mathematician,
but I'm pretty sure that 26
plus 3 1/2,
yeah. Yeah,
that doesn't equal 30.
Sorry, chief.
Sharing is caring. 29 1/2.
Sorry, man.
Mm. Nothing like
half a deal
costing you, what,
two, three grand?
There he is.
So how often does
that happen, huh?
First day on the job,
and not only
do I sell a car,
but I trunk somebody?
Whew.
Green pea...
Nah, it's Tyler now.
I remember mark
saying specifically
I got a name once I sold a car.
Right. And speaking
of remembering,
do you remember that
little story this morning
I told you about the
lion and the gazelle?
Oh, yeah. What about it?
Because there's
one part of the story,
ahh, I completely left out.
Yeah. What's that?
In every lion pride,
there's a king.
I already knew that.
Right.
But what you didn't know
is that the king...
Always eats first.
Is that just another
number one rule?
Jump up and down for me.
Jump up and down.
No, seriously.
Come on. Jump up and down.
It's cool.
There you go.
Ah, come on. Jump.
I know.
Good.
Now that your balls
have dropped,
I can explain to you the
reason for our lesson.
There is no number one rule.
Okay? It changes to fit
the circumstances.
Whatever it takes, Tyler.
Excuse me.
Can I help you?
That depends.
Are you mark Chamberlain?
I am.
Then, yes, you can.
I assume this is in regards to Mr.
Mcmillen,
and we already spoke
this afternoon,
so I'm afraid I'm gonna have
to refer you to my attorney.
Mr. Chamberlain, I have no idea who our Mr.
Mcmillen is.
However, I do represent
someone else,
and you, sir, have been served.
Have a great day.
Sometime they're doing
this next week.
What do you think?
Yeah?
Yeah, Sharon told me.
Look, sorry, man,
but when you started
selling everybody out,
all for the shot at a store...
Man, this wasn't
just about a store.
Then what was it, mark?
You know, when I was
about 9 or 10 years old,
I used to, uh, sleep over
at my best friend's house.
Fucking...
Fucking tough as nails,
runt of a kid...
Whose dad used to beat the shit
out of him pretty regularly.
Black and blue, welts,
the works.
And as horrific as that was...
It wasn't the craziest thing,
because the craziest thing
was this kid would
walk around his house
all the time
with his shirt off...
Like those bruises
were a badge of honor.
And I'd ask him.
I'd say... I'd say,
"why are you doing this?
Why not just run away?"
You know what he said to me?
He said,
"he's my father, mark."
"If I do that, he wins."
But he's my father, Boyd.
And I've taken my own
beatings, all right?
But today
I made 300 cars happen.
Today, I got my own store.
Today, I've won.
But I just... I would
expect you of all people
to understand that.
I do, mark.
But I told you that
when I was 10.
You gotta be kidding me, man.
Steve: Boy, we just received
the numbers, Mr. Chamberlain,
and I have to say that is quite
a day you guys put together.
Well, I know. I know.
What can I say?
Mark's a comer. He'll own
his own store someday.
Well, it looks to me like we're
all set for Monday, huh?
Yes, sir. I'll have
the $300,000 in escrow
first thing Monday morning,
and we're just finishing putting
the financing together.
Well, that's fantastic.
I gotta hand it to you
and... and mark
and everybody at the dealership.
You guys have really knocked
one out of the park this time.
On behalf of the manufacturers,
I have to tell you...
Looking for this?
Earned this new dealership,
and I look forward to coming
down and breaking it in...
Steve, I gotta call you back.
You know, for the past 20 years,
I have done nothing but
everything you ever told me to.
Scrubbing toilets.
Picking up cigarette butts.
Withholding payment...
Firing Scott.
And every fucking thing
in between, and this...
This is how you repay me?
With some bullshit
promise of a store
so that I can grind
on these guys
because they won't work for a
lowlife piece of shit like this?
You lie to me, you use me,
and then you fuck me?
Who are you all of a sudden,
Saint mark the apostle?
You have the audacity
to come in here
with your righteous indignation
and preach to me about
using and lying to people?
What do you think you've
done all day today?
You lie and used every one
of those guys out there.
No, what I did,
I did to push them.
I wanted them to be
better salesmen!
Who do you think
you're talking to?
You may have peddled that
to... to your wife and to Boyd,
but I'm sure as hell
not buying it.
I mean, you can rationalize
it all you want,
but you did what you did
for the same reason
I do what I do,
self-interest, nothing
more, nothing less.
And that's
what I needed to know,
were you willing to do
whatever it takes.
Even if it means screwing
over your own son?
Now you got it!
What if I'm
not willing to do that?
That's why your name
is not on this piece of paper
and, I'm sad to say,
you will never own
your own dealership,
certainly not the new one.
Yeah.
Well, I guess
that makes two of us,
because neither will you.
How do you figure?
The way I see it,
you're still 150 grand
short, old man.
Oh, that's what
I'm talking about!
Where... where has this mark been
for the last 20 years, huh?
Are you saying what I
think you're saying,
that you want to negotiate?
Let's negotiate.
Who said anything
about negotiating?
I quit.
No, I don't think you're
gonna walk away, mark.
Nah.
You need to get real, son.
Fuck you, dad.
That's good.
I like that.
Now, are we gonna keep
jacking each other off,
or do you want to do
some business?
Business?
What do you want?
51% ownership, 5% gross.
5%, that's funny.
I'm not finished.
I take my own guys,
and this motherfucker
never sets foot on my lot
ever.
Deal.
But just so you know
how the business works,
that 5% has to come
from somewhere,
so if you want to wrap
this up right now,
here's what you're gonna do.
You are gonna walk
into that sales tower,
and you're gonna tell those guys
that not only are they not
getting their paychecks Monday,
but there is a new pay plan
and you are reducing
their commissions...
By 5%.
You do that,
and you're a dealer, son.
You can't be serious.
And with ash out of the way,
you'll finally have
time to do it right.
Taking long enough.
What the fuck?!
We had a deal!
Relax. We still do.
Do you think
I was actually going to
give him the new store?
He signed it.
Rule number one
in the car business.
Things change.
Reynolds: So he's
not getting the store?
Fuck, no. I just
wanted to make sure
we got that other 150 grand
from his buddy Russell.
What happens when he finds out?
What's he gonna do, leave?
Russell. Hey.
Yeah. Thanks for calling
me back so quick.
No, that's what we
need to talk about.
It, uh, looks like plans
have changed a little bit.
No. No, I won't be needing
that money after all.
Am I sure?
Yeah.
Yeah, I'm sure.
Fuck!
Out of my way, bitches!
Go handle it!
Go!
Fuck.
Watch out!
Dough, dough, money, baby.
Get out of my way.
Whoa. Hey.
Money.
Ah, okay.
Hey.
Thank you, boss.
Thank you.
Reynolds: All right,
all right, enough!
Listen up! Listen up!
I want all that money back.
And you can forget about
getting your checks on Monday,
because this motherfucker
doesn't work here anymore.
What?
What?
Heh.
Whoa. Hold on.
Hold on.
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa.
Fuck him, mark.
Fuck him.
He's not worth it.
That's what I thought,
you pussy.
Ohh!
Ohh!
Nice!
Cash that check, motherfucker.
Down goes Frazier.
Oh, yeah,
the call on 64-01,
that's for you, dick.
I'll be praying for you, Mike.
What the fuck
are you looking at?
Mike Reynolds, line two.
Mike Reynolds, line two.
Mike Reynolds, line two.
This is Mike.
Woman: Yes, hello, Mike.
I need to speak to the owner.
Would that be you?
Yes. Yes,
I am the owner.
Good. I have a call from
senator Mitch waters' office.
The senator is very eager to
speak with you. Hold, please.
Waters:
Mr. Chamberlain.
Yes, senator.
I heard you had the pleasure
of meeting my daughter Sheri
at your dealership today.
Mark: Every car dog
who's ever had
the questionable fortune
of sitting through
one of those seemingly
endless sales training seminars
likely had
some hotshot sales guru
insist that they
absolutely had to read
OG Mandino's classic book,
"the greatest salesman
in the world,"
and you can imagine how many
car dogs actually read it.
And while it may not have
the answers to everything sales,
I do remember one part
that was pretty good.
It went something like this...
"no, my son,
do not aspire for wealth,
"and labor not only to be rich.
"Strive instead for happiness,
"to be loved and to love,
"and most important,
to acquire peace of mind
and Serenity."
The funny thing is
the hotshot sales guru
who gave me that book...
Ashley.
My old man.
Ashley: What do
you want, mark?
I want to tell you I'm sorry.
I'm hoping we can
still have dinner.
5:00, right?