Casando a mi Ex (2023) Movie Script
1
I love her a hundred percent.
Forever.
- A hundred percent.
- A hundred percent.
I can't imagine myself
waking up with somebody else.
Damn! More than a hundred.
Two hundred percent, right?
Oh, sweetie!
Can you do 300?
We share the same life,
the same beliefs.
Mediocre in life,
mediocre in love.
We said no lies.
This is fake, for God's sake!
Do you think I'm a fool?
Answer me.
Do you think I'm a fool?
- Well, no.
- No.
In this country, only three people
out of a thousand get married,
and two out of three weddings
end in a divorce.
How many friends do you have
on Facebook?
- Many.
- 1000.
- I don't know.
- See it.
- Where can I see it?
- Ah, here-!
A thousand, maybe?
About that number.
Only two people out of a thousand
will stay together.
They'll grow old,
like in the movies.
Only two.
Am I being too pessimistic?
I don't want to come off
as a killjoy.
Mariana.
No, every now and then it's good
to go over the top.
Why do you want to get married?
Do you think you're the one couple
out of 500?
I mean, you can lie
to yourselves,
but not to me...
No fucking way.
I'm the best wedding planner.
I can't waste my time, sorry.
I can't plan a wedding
for those who lie to themselves
and don't love each other
a hundred percent.
Love is the most important
thing to me,
and I can't see it in you.
Mariana, hold on.
Maybe they do love each other.
Magali, why are we doing this?
For money?
I can't lie to them.
Goodbye, friends.
- No, sorry, Mariana, but we...
- No, wait, Begoa.
Don't worry.
We'll have
our dream wedding.
Someone will plan it.
Don't worry, gorgeous.
Jose, tell her something!
We'll be happy.
That's the only thing that matters,
my love.
Forever?
Growing old, like in the movies.
I got them.
You've passed the test.
You've passed the test.
You've passed the test.
You just have to sign here.
Here and here.
If they lie, why shouldn't I?
There's something I need
to confess.
From the moment you
walked in here,
I saw pure love.
And the more they pay...
the more love they'll have.
BETTER DEAD THAN WED
Mom!
The dessert?
You said you'd bring the dessert.
Uh, I forgot it!
I forgot it!
Sorry, sorry, sorry.
I've been working like crazy.
I don't get why people
get married.
Lucky you, right?
Where's Mom?
Getting ready for
her new sweetheart.
Ah, Mom, Mom...
What's with those suitcases?
Shit, is she moving in
with him, Ale?
No, I wish.
No, these are mine.
Because I told Mom
I'm moving in with you.
What? What?
Didn't you think of telling me
before packing your suitcases?
It's just while I get the
scholarship. I swear.
Just for a bit.
I'm gonna get it.
No, I don't know.
- Why not?
- Alejandra, who's here?
What does she mean?
Who else is coming?
You should've told me.
Mariana!
Hi, Mom.
I thought you were Epigmenio.
Weird name, weird life.
It's very late now.
I'll check on the food.
Please, don't leave me here
with her.
Please, please.
She became super noisy.
- I need details. Tell me.
- No, why?
What's wrong with you?
- Epi, hi.
- Hey, Alejandra.
What's up!
I've brought a dessert
you'll love.
So, how long have you
been dating?
A while.
The truth is we don't go
on dates often.
We've skipped a few steps.
What?
We'd rather stay home.
You would've met Epi
if you had visited us before.
I didn't visit you
because I can't, Mom.
You know I'm very busy at work.
Besides, spring is
the busiest season.
Of course! We met last spring.
Elena told me
you're a wedding planner.
Yes, I'm a wedding planner.
It sounds quite American,
don't you think?
When I got married, my mother
planned the wedding.
- Oh, so you're a divorcee?
- No, a widower.
Oh, a widower. Poor thing.
Maria Luisa has transcended.
Yeah, it was a terrible,
fulminating cancer.
I'm so sorry.
- How old?
- Mariana.
What?
Well, she was young.
42 years old.
A child.
I'm so sorry.
But I was meaning how old
are you, Epi.
Ah. I'm 65 years old.
He dyes his hair.
Don't mind her.
Mariana and I have always done
this interrogation thing
since we were kids. So...
Yeah, it became a tradition.
So, do you have children?
Yes, a daughter, Leticia.
She's a neuroscientist.
Nerds.
Actually I wanted
to ask you something, Epi.
Sorry, I have to take this call.
Yeah, sure.
Magali, what is it?
No, listen. Calm her.
It's normal for the brides to cry
a day before the wedding.
Give her an infusion
and tell her tomorrow we'll talk.
You know what, Magali?
Tell her that her face
will swell if she keeps crying.
She's interested, isn't she?
- Okay, bye.
- Yeah, give me her number...
Sorry.
There's a whole science
behind my job.
Is everything okay?
Yes, I'm very excited.
Today it's the happiest day
of my life.
It is, right?
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, of course.
You're ready.
And I swear I love him.
I love him a hundred percent.
Okay.
And you're telling me this
because there's something
you haven't told me?
No, no, no, this is just
for toasting.
- Give it to me!
- Here.
Can I tell you something?
They're waiting for us
downstairs.
We're almost ready.
Thanks.
So exciting!
Wow!
Please, don't be mad.
Here it comes.
It's just that I can't tell
anyone.
My bridesmaids are my
sisters-in-law,
my friends, Fede's friends.
Look like you care,
and she'll spill the tea.
Yesterday,
Robertito, Fede's friend,
came to my bachelorette.
I kinda knew him.
It was something casual, casual.
We met at the restrooms, and...
We just kissed a bit,
but I don't know what to do,
Mariana. I got feelings.
- What can I do? Should I tell Fede?
- No!
Robertito asked me
to elope with him.
And didn't you think
that was the best time
to uninvite him to the wedding?
And what would I tell Fede?
I kissed your best friend
and uninvited him to the wedding.
What if he asks me
to elope with him?
You know what, Bego?
Love is my priority.
If you want to elope with Robertito,
I'll help you.
I can call everything off,
just now.
Magali, let's start
Operation Elopement.
Let's keep Fede entertained
with some girls or something.
- No, no, listen.
- Of course, poor guy...
- Do I call it off?
- Yeah.
Cancel Operation Elopement.
I don't want to break
Fede's heart.
No.
He's the best thing
that's happened to me.
Of course.
Maybe you can tell him
the truth in a couple of years.
Who hasn't kissed people
in the bathroom?
Okay, let me tell you my story.
Sit.
I was in your place.
Full of doubts.
In the end, the only thing
that matters...
are the smiles,
the moments you share,
the support you give each other.
Relationships go
through so many stages,
but when you find true love,
you have no option
but to take the leap and scream...
I love you.
Didn't you give the ring back
to that guy?
Yeah, I mean. I don't know
why I used that example.
It's a completely different
situation.
The important thing is that today
your new life begins, Begoa.
And everything is okay with my ex.
We're still friends.
Actually, guess who made
the cake for today?
When you told me
you have a restaurant,
I thought you meant
an actual restaurant.
What? This is an actual
restaurant, Lucy.
Without tables,
without customers, nothing.
I mean, that's the dream.
But it isn't a restaurant yet.
What do you need to open it?
The thing is I only know
how to cook.
Mariana was going to do
the rest.
And now that I'm on my own,
I don't even know where to start.
Mexico is a country of bureaucracy.
I know.
I was trying to pay the landlord,
and I asked him,
"why can't I pay in cash?
I can't open a bank account,"
and he told me he knows
some lawyers, but they're expensive.
So I have to pay
to be allowed to pay.
It's ridiculous.
I mean, being a resident
in Mexico is a hassle.
What's wrong?
Listen,
Mariana and I are friends, okay?
We're business partners.
She's a customer.
A customer who broke my heart,
but a customer still.
We have a healthy relationship,
an adult relationship from which
we've moved on.
Completely moved on.
Help me. Help me, please?
Let's take it
because it's getting late.
It is what it is.
It's the worst day of my life.
I know.
I know, Robertito,
but look, you have to think
of your future, your new life.
- It'll be okay.
- No, no, no!
It'll be okay.
Trust me.
Ready, my love?
I am.
I don't Know. Ready!
I'm over, I'm over, I'm over it.
My poor buddy.
He's... heartbroken.
It's just business,
and we're professional. Right?
It doesn't matter.
If anything happens,
tell her I'm your girlfriend.
Okay.
Okay, dear Luis.
This way.
- Hi.
- Hi.
You need a few more drinks.
Hey, here!
- Thank you very much.
- I'm an idiot.
There you go. This will
make you feel better.
Luisito, thank you, as always.
Nice to see you, Magali.
I'm gonna say
hi to my friend Mariana.
My friend!
His friend.
Luis!
Here, drink it.
Yeah, that's right.
Feeling better?
Done.
Mariana, do you copy me?
Shit might hit the fan.
Shit might hit the fan.
Not literally.
It all looks clean.
No!
Ah, Robertito.
Hey, hey.
Well, I have to work.
But I'll be right back.
I'll be back.
They'll make you some...
Two more here, please.
I'll be back.
I'll be back, okay?
Hey, you make
the most of these weddings.
Ah, Robertito?
- Yeah.
- Yeah, how are you?
You look... What's the word?
Different.
That's how people look
when they feel good,
Luis.
Happy.
Enjoying everything.
So happy, you know?
And you?
I'm good. Very, very good.
I've just finished furnishing
the apartment,
and the purple carpet,
do you remember?
The one you disliked?
Well, now I like it.
You were right.
Well, I'm glad somebody
is enjoying it.
- I've got to work.
- Yeah.
- What do you mean?
- Mariana!
Yeah, I enjoy it, with...
Are you coming with her?
Yeah, she's Lucia, my roomie,
my buddy,
my confidante, my comrade.
Just friends?
Yeah, I got it. I got it.
I've been going from date
after date, you have no idea.
Making up for the lost time.
You have no idea.
Well, I'm leaving.
No, no, you got me, you know?
I got you?
What can I say?
Why should I lie?
I mean, it's not like
I'm gonna hurt you.
Lucia,
I'm coming with her,
but not as friends, but...
like two lovebirds.
What? Why are you laughing?
Of course, I've never heard
you saying you're a lovebird.
With somebody else, Luis.
Somebody else.
Listen...
Move! Damn.
You...
Bro...
I never told you
she was a summer fling,
and now that she's back
from Colombia... Old flames...
- Colombian?
- Yeah.
No, you didn't tell me.
A few nice months.
Truly amazing!
Yeah, yeah, I got it.
I just found it weird
that you jumped into a new
relationship so quickly.
Because, I mean,
you were always the slow type.
- Awful, awful.
- Awful.
But you know what I liked
about her?
That I didn't have to flirt
with her
because she knows what
she wants.
She's not like it's a game...
I'm so glad. Well, I have to...
She's amazing. I love her.
Right.
I'll marry her.
What?
I'm marrying.
I'm getting married, Mariana.
- I'm getting married.
- Ah.
- Are you serious?
- Yeah, yeah.
Well, congratulations.
When is the wedding?
Soon, very soon.
I mean, not now.
But very soon.
I mean, in the end
it's just a party.
I'm sure she needs the papers
to be a resident, right?
What?
Don't be mean.
People do fall in love.
It's good love, divine love.
Good love.
Like in all marriages.
Of course.
Well, I'm happy for you.
Yeah. I don't know if I should
believe you,
but those eyes
and that sheepish smile.
- What sheepish smile?
- To the newlyweds!
I mean it. I'm truly happy
for you and for her.
I know you were dying
to get married.
In fact,
I can plan your wedding.
What?
I wish you all the best.
Brother.
I'm the best,
and nobody knows you like I do.
- That's good.
- Fool!
Okay, sure, perfect.
- We're adults, aren't we?
- Yes.
I knew you were dying
to get married,
no matter what,
no matter the person.
With the love of my life.
With the love of your life, yes.
Well, see you on Monday
at the office.
- I love Mondays.
- Perfect.
See you on Monday.
Great!
Cool!
Hi.
What's up?
Well, we're here,
in the name of love.
This one. Mariana... Mariana!
- Three cheers for love!
- Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, to the love I feel for you,
Fede, my brother.
And I love you, gorgeous!
But, especially...
What I truly want to say...
especially,
I wanna say I love her!
I love her, Bego, my Bego!
- He's drunk.
- Yes.
Wasn't he your DJ?
Shut up, shut up!
Do you want me to beat
the shit out of him?
- What happened?
- I don't know.
Why don't you tell everyone
- what we did last night
- What?
In the bar's bathroom?
What did you do yesterday?
Everyone knocked on the door
and I'd say, "No, it's occupied."
I went to the bathroom.
You're my soulmate...
You're my only love.
- Bego, what the hell?
- Yes.
Bego!
Come.
What the hell, Bego!
No, no!
No, no!
Help him!
No, no, no!
Damn you, Roberto!
Why are you doing this to me?
Shit!
Careful, careful!
Oh, my God!
- Come.
- Yes.
Did they even pay?
There's nothing we can do.
To the next one.
What goes next?
Mauricio and Renata,
Carlos and Sofia,
and Luis.
We'll plan Luis's wedding.
Really?
- Girl.
- Oh, I know.
Mariana!
Mariana!
Mariana!
What did you do?
Magali called me.
What did you want me to do?
Congratulations on your wedding.
Send me your gift list.
Why are you doing this?
Because I'm either a fool
or a genius.
Mariana,
you gave him the ring back.
You told him you didn't want
to get married,
and now you're doing this?
It sounds like self-sabotage,
don't you think?
No, not at all.
Are you sure you want to plan
Luis's wedding?
I'm not sure,
but I'm intrigued.
You're a psycho.
- Hey!
- Hey, you scare me!
Take a chill pill, man.
You did the cleverest shit
you could've done in your life.
No, man.
I'll call her, tell her the truth
and end with this bullshit, now.
What the hell is truth, man?
It's impossible to know
the truth,
especially in this post-truth world,
am I right?
I just wanted to tease her
a bit.
Have you forgotten what she did
to you?
I just wanted to annoy her
a bit, man.
My king, today you have to win.
If you do this, she'll definitely
ask for forgiveness.
Then, what?
Do I go on with this?
Should I marry Lucia?
Should we have kids?
No, you don't have to go
that far.
Mariana will yield before that.
And if you get married to her,
what's the problem?
You can hire me.
Bring DJ Dion to your wedding.
A super party.
And if you have a kid?
I'll be their godfather.
Is there a problem?
Lucia will refuse, man.
A good seller knows that.
Either you persuade with facts
or through blackmail,
and you know her better
than I do.
I'm a romance genius, am I not?
You're...
No, no, no, dude.
- I won't do it, period.
- Please, Lucy.
Listen, don't do it for me.
It's for you.
It's the best for you.
Listen,
I'm not that desperate, Luis.
Hey.
Listen, she made me look like
a fool when she gave the ring back.
I don't wanna
look like a fool twice
if she finds out
everything was a lie.
I don't know. It's not my fault.
Fire her.
Tell her I don't want her
in my wedding. No.
This woman is relentless.
Besides, it's a bit your fault.
You said if anything happened,
I could say we were dating.
- Accept your responsibility.
- No, no, I can't fake a wedding.
- That's ridiculous.
- That's the point.
We won't fake anything.
We get married,
a little party, a little fun.
Yeah, and think of your papers.
It's your dream,
having your own apartment,
can you imagine it?
Your own bank account,
getting a job.
A citizen of the world.
And then we'll have kids
or what?
No. We can annul
the marriage in two years.
But that won't be an issue
because you'll be living
- the "Mexican dream."
- Mexican dream.
Otherwise, people will think
badly of you.
- Exactly.
- It's for your own good.
Lu, people like divorcees more
than happy singletons.
That's right...
Don't ask me why.
I didn't make the rules.
No, no, Luis.
No, I don't want to do it.
I can't.
Imagine you're my plus one
in any other wedding,
but this wedding means the residence
and freedom for you, Lu.
When was the last time
you paid the rent?
There you go, see?
Let's screw this system
that divides us with
its stupid borders. Enough!
Are you making all this up
to get rid of me?
No, no, no.
I mean, freedom.
I mean that, citizenship,
individuality, a passport.
Okay, Lu, what should we do
if we see that
they're beating someone
on the street?
Do we just leave them?
Do we tell them
they're exaggerating?
No, we help them.
Oh, Dioni, I can't.
Ah!
Lu, let me be your visa husband.
For how long will this be?
We'll talk about it.
Tell me until I watch the video.
Oh.
Call him now.
Something's wrong.
This is very weird.
Well, if it's weird,
call him and call it off.
It's none of your business.
Yeah, right?
Well.
No, we'll carry on with this,
okay?
Why?
You've called off worse things.
Your wedding, for instance.
Why not this?
Magali, take care of the weddings
we have scheduled
and don't take others for now.
This will be my masterpiece,
and it'll take a lot of my time.
Usually she's not this excited
about her job.
- It's guilt.
- It's bullshit.
It's bullshit.
Say my favorite things.
Come on.
Your Japanese knife
and making cocktails for me.
He hates shrimp and has
a lovely snore.
She'll ask for my favorite position.
What is it?
Doggy.
No, spooning.
Ah, you've changed?
But you know what?
Yeah, tell her doggy style.
She can say doggy style?
Yeah, she'll hate it.
She'll hate it!
And the most important
thing, Lucia,
you were my first one, okay?
And yeah, she was my first one,
and it's lovely how destiny
will make her...
my last one.
- Very, very romantic.
- Yeah.
Recycled ring.
Okay, let's do this.
We'll celebrate your wedding,
I mean, your love.
- Isn't there anything else?
- No.
We said no lies.
This is all fake.
Do you think I'm an idiot?
Answer me!
Do you think I'm an idiot?
Do we have to answer that?
Are you okay?
It's a test we do
with all our clients,
but you've passed it.
So, tell me, what's the thing you
like the most about Luis?
What can I say, Mary?
- Mariana.
- Damn, they're so many, Mary.
Well, I love his Japanese knife.
- Ah, the...
- How he makes cocktails...
The lovely things he tells me.
I even like his snores, Mary.
Can you believe it?
Well, what about
his favorite position? I know it.
Doggy.
Awesome!
- Of course.
- Yeah.
- Yes.
- Yes.
Do you know what I like the most
about her?
She's a confident woman.
Ah!
Well, normal,
but she's brave enough
to face her trauma
- and overcome it. Right, my love?
- Yeah, yeah.
She's been honest
from the very beginning.
She'd never hurt me.
We'll, lucky you.
Yeah, and the most important thing.
She keeps her promises.
- That's quite clear.
- Yeah.
Well, Mary, you know
Poochi loves dancing,
so we want something that
feels very much like us, you know?
Like... #LuiCia.
Ugh, kill yourselves.
Kill me or LuiCia, I don't care.
How long have you been together?
Ah...
Well, answering that is like
looking back to the past,
and the truth is that LuiCia
looks into the future.
Okay.
And when do you want
your wedding to be?
Well, in about a month and a half?
Yeah, maximum.
If we extend it too much.
Don't tell me you're pregnant.
- No, no.
- Not yet.
Not yet, because we know
in a year or two
anything can happen.
Yeah.
I mean, we have this urge
to celebrate love.
- Yes.
- Yes.
Yeah, I suppose you also
have this urge
to get your papers for
the Mexican residence, right?
No, no Mary, not really.
The point is we'd like to
get married, Mariana.
It's not so complicated.
It's just a party.
Yeah, just a party.
The godfather.
Who's gonna be the godfather?
Let me guess. Dionisio?
- Of course.
- Right.
My, my.
My, my.
- Hey.
- Hi.
- Dioni.
- The son of Zeus?
Are you, Ale?
The ex-girlfriend's sister?
And you're the godfather now?
The godfather...
and D-D-D-DJ, Dioni,
the life of the party.
Livening up the best events,
always,
you know.
I'll be there, at the front row,
witnessing love.
Really?
Why so many papers?
So much yada yada.
Flesh feels so nice.
It's so easy to just...
Look at each other,
feel their touch,
muffle their fear.
It's funny.
I've always thought the same.
You just have to sign the contract,
and that's all.
- I'll leave it here.
- Oh, Poochi!
Here you go.
Congratulations, LuiCia.
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
#LuiCia, you forgot it.
Awesome!
- Did you see her face?
- Yeah.
- She was pissed, but I'm scared.
- Yeah.
"Oh, I won't ask the position
because I know it."
As if you told that
to all your customers.
Hey, Luis. Do you think she's
suspicious?
- No!
- No?
No, not at all.
Besides, what's the worst
that could happen?
I'm helping you.
I'll annoy her just a bit,
throw a big party
with my buddies,
hire DJ Dioni,
and we're all happy, okay?
LuiCia, victorious.
Luis, why the fuck are you
doing this?
Why don't you sit with her?
Talk with her, and that's it.
- No, that'd be the easy road.
- Exactly.
No, I want her to feel
the frustration
of losing someone.
Oh, drama queen.
You wanna shatter her heart
into thousands of pieces.
If it can be more, the better.
That's shitty!
- Why?
- Because it is.
- Do you want another beer, Luis?
- Yeah, yeah.
What about your girlfriend?
Oh, no, sweetie, no.
I've come with him,
but I'm not with him.
- Ah.
- Ah, yes, but no.
Especially, no.
What was that?
Why did you do it?
What? Look, look.
Booze.
- Hey, dumb-ass. Where were you?
- Hey!
It's a secret.
Don't tell anyone,
nobody, not even your pillow.
You're my love secret.
- No love secrets, okay?
- Okay.
Hey, cheers.
Tell me.
How was it?
- She called her Mary.
- She hates to be called Mary.
Order something, Lu.
That was my beer.
Oh, sorry, Lucy. Here.
No, Luis. I want mine.
Hello?
Berta.
Oh, sorry, am I interrupting?
Oh, I'm glad you came.
- Look.
- No!
Oh, you didn't have to,
but I'm glad you did it.
It's our favorite tiramisu.
Oh, it looks delicious!
How are you doing?
I'm good. Working a lot,
but I'm good.
- And you?
- Same.
Who would've thought it?
Luis is getting married.
He is...
What?
Didn't you think of telling us
before?
I had to hear somewhere else
that you're getting married?
Listen, listen, listen.
Calm down, please.
My mom, she's the traitor's BFF.
You can't do that, right, Dad?
Berta and I are friends.
It has nothing to do with Luis.
You never visit your mother,
but you visit your ex's!
No, no, no.
The thing is Berta
is a lovely person.
It's so weird that she didn't know
anything about the wedding.
And you told her, didn't you?
I didn't know she didn't know.
There's something wrong,
and you don't believe me.
There's nothing wrong here.
I was going to tell you.
Why wouldn't I?
I had prepared a surprise,
but I wasn't expecting you to
go and give her my tiramisu, Mom.
Yeah, she brought me some.
I'll save some for you next time.
Yeah, save me some.
But you know what?
Save face, Mariana,
if you still have some left.
It's a rule.
If her son was inside you,
you can't be friends,
unless he passed away.
Do you want me to kill him?
No one's killing anyone, dear.
Okay.
I won't meet with her anymore.
Can you tell us about
your wedding?
Sure!
I'm marrying Lucia.
Do you remember Lucia,
the Colombian girl who came once?
You remember her, don't you?
- Lu... Lucy?
- Lucy.
But wasn't she...?
Lucy?
Why not her?
Mom, it happened.
She came back, and...
we met...
- No, we, no.
- You fell in love?
Exactly.
You love each other like we do.
How can you love each other
after so many years?
Well... We just do it.
Dear team,
we're planning the most important
wedding we've ever made.
The ex-boyfriend's wedding.
For Luis, someone you all know.
Obviously I know him
better than anyone.
Well, maybe his girlfriend
or his mom know him more.
But I'm in the top five
of people who know him the most.
I want something original,
unseen.
Ideas.
I have an idea,
but I have many questions.
Does the dress have to be
long and white?
Well, does it have to be
a dress?
That's the spirit.
Photos, do we have
photo ideas? Flowers?
I'm thinking of using marigolds
for decoration.
And maybe we can throw soil
instead of rice
to bury the past.
I love it. I'm feeling this awesome
vibe. Am I the only one?
Well, I'll go and fetch
the bouquet.
- Unleash your imagination.
- Come on!
What if...?
Don Antonio it's lovely.
But we're gonna need something
less white.
Maybe less flowers
and more thorns.
Something less aerodynamic.
With personality.
Thanks.
For whom is that bouquet?
For a friend.
What friend?
For which friend is that bouquet?
- Ale told you, didn't she?
- Mariana.
Mom, this is serious business.
Luis is my client.
It's all cool.
Well, what do you think
about Epi?
He looks okay, good.
I mean, I barely know him,
but I'm glad you're happy.
Ah, well, you'll be happier
because we'll go dancing.
- Sounds good. Have fun.
- No, I mean all of us.
Epi wants you to come with us
because he couldn't
get to meet you properly.
He wants to get to know you
more.
- Tonight?
- Yeah.
Mom, I'm planning a wedding.
I can't. I'm very busy.
Listen, Mariana.
We're in a market.
I'm helping you choose
a bouquet...
- Mariana, you owe me one.
- Mom, you're...
Perfect, Don Antonio.
I love it.
Maybe I can put
these ones here...
Perfect, just what I wanted.
Did you call me God?
What?
You said, "Oh, God!"
- Right?
- I didn't.
- Of course not.
- Of course you did.
I said your name.
But I get you.
It was good.
No one has ever told me
something so sweet.
- I'm leaving.
- What if I do this?
Well, if you excuse me,
I'll be right back.
So what do you do, Epi?
Are we playing now?
I'm retired,
but now I manage a shelter
for dogs with disabilities.
Wow!
Do you only receive dogs
with disabilities?
What about the other ones?
I mean, they're so many.
What are your quirks?
Your vices?
I don't know.
I don't do many things.
Yeah, you look boring.
I run 6 miles every day.
Any other hobby?
The usual,
cooking, reading,
sometimes I smoke a cigar.
- This motherfucker is a killer.
- Awesome.
We have the information
that we need.
Epi, thank you so much.
What do you think
about reggaeton?
Oh, those musicians
are perverts.
I knew it, a right-wing bigot.
Well, we shouldn't be judgmental,
shouldn't we?
No, of course not.
I'm not a killjoy.
If I need reggaeton,
I'm into it.
So, is the interrogation over?
Yeah, Mom. Epi wanted to
dance with you.
- Oh, great!
- Shall we?
Shall we?
Oh, you fucked it up, Ale.
I had cornered him.
Cornered him where, Mariana?
- Didn't we...?
- Ah!
Oh, Mom.
That's so embarrassing!
He's a good dancer,
don't you think?
Yeah.
Oh, they're so cute!
LuiCia will be like that
during their honeymoon.
Only if they can go through
the wedding.
If they can go through
the wedding.
This is my favorite part:
choosing the type of wedding.
We want you to make
all decisions together.
- Are you ready?
- Super ready.
More than ready.
So, we have to choose
the style of the wedding.
Knowing Luis's taste,
I thought he'd like something
like...
fantasy themed.
Hey, Mariana,
don't you think that's a bit silly?
Wouldn't it be better
something... more...
Right, it's a bit old-fashioned,
right?
Maybe something trendy.
- Right?
- I know, I know.
Something local, more rustic,
to honor Lucia's hometown.
Oh, no, Mary. It's not a town.
It's Bogota, the capital.
Let me find other options.
No, Mariana,
thanks for your suggestions.
Let me tell you the wedding
we want.
Yes.
A simple wedding, beers, music.
- Yeah, yeah. I remember, Luis.
- Fairy lights.
- In your restaurant, right?
- Noted. So...
Poochi.
Flowers are fundamental
in a love story
because they represent
the couple's fertility.
That's why it's important
for you to touch them,
smell them,
and especially, talk to them.
Talk to them!
Talk to them!
Oh, damn.
Okay.
Hello?
Flower?
I'm getting married, flower.
So I'd like to invite you to
my wedding.
Would you like to come?
What?
Oh, sure, sure. Of course.
They want to talk to you, Lu.
- Me?
- Yeah, they said so.
Ah.
Dear flower,
of course you can come
to our wedding.
Besides, you can bring
your partner!
- You can feel the...
- Yeah, you can.
So now that my buddy Luis
is tying the knot,
let's delight him with
a beautiful song.
Yes, sir!
Rah!
The New Sound Orchestra.
You'll never find
Someone like me
No one who loves you like me
Until I die
Nobody will love you like me
No one to bring
The stars and sky for you
With beams of passion
That's it, you can fall in love
But not even a thousand kisses
Will put off the eternal fire
Burning in your heart
You said you found love
You lie, you lie, you lie
Because I'll always be
Part of your life
I'm so sorry
For your next victim
Everything you and I did
Life itself transformed you
Woman, don't try to erase it
You say he treats you well
That he has conquered you
Your friends have said new love
Takes your mind off the old one
But let's be serious,
Let's be clear
Nobody has reached
The depths of your soul
Closed case
You said you found love
But you lie, you lie, you lie
And you even say you regret
Our time together
I can see miles away
That's not true
And now when you talk about me
You only pay lip service
To your words
And upload photos pretending
You hold him in one and you
dance with him in the other
You dance with your friends
But I haven't seen anywhere
The after party
These might look good together,
don't you think?
Bride?
- Let's go. I have to go.
- Yes, I know.
You only need your love dance.
Oh, no, we can do that
some other time, Poochi.
Bad mood is usual.
It happens all the time.
I see it every day.
No, the thing is we don't have
a song yet.
What? "The Funeral March,"
"Bad Decisions,"
"Not in Love."
Poochi.
Listen, dumb-ass,
you said it'd be just an hour.
I can't spend all my day
with you.
Talk to Ramona.
Tell her you're with me.
She'll understand.
No, no, no,
I want to be punctual.
I want to be cool,
and I like her.
Stop fucking around!
Yeah, let's wait for her to
find out you're engaged, Poochi.
Fuck you, Poochi!
I'm joking.
- Hey!
- Hey!
Okay, I can't.
That's so hot.
Shut up!
You're an idiot.
What?
Am I still "Plumber" in
your phone?
No. Of course not,
why are you saying that?
I'm sure your sister wants you
to go back home.
No. Mariana is always
super busy
with a guy,
or with many, in an orgy.
I'm so happy for her.
Because Luis and Lucia
spend all day...
Lots of noise.
What is it?
I was given a scholarship.
What scholarship?
I applied for a two-year
Master's
in Vancouver,
and they've offered it to me.
It's a super,
super cool university.
That's good. Congratulations.
That's good.
So, when are you leaving?
Soon, very soon.
Well, let's celebrate, then.
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
So, can you keep another
secret for me, sir?
So many secrets with you.
My lips are sealed.
Are they? How sealed?
So, do you get good tips?
Now that you mention it,
the more they throw up,
the better the tips.
And they kinda grow fond of you
when you look after them
while they're drunk
and help them with their
heartbreaks,
so they always come back.
Thanks for waiting for me.
And miss out on your smile?
Hey, but this residence thing
is very tricky.
You can say you're very Mexican
without knowing
the national anthem.
Actually, I wanted to tell you
my method
to get the residence.
They're vegan.
They taste like shit.
Some vegan cakes can be amazing.
I don't even know why
you're doing this.
- Hey, Dioni.
- Hey.
- Where's Luis?
- There.
Hey, Ale.
Hey, Luis's friend.
Mary, why are you here?
No, no, no, no,
the tasting is in two hours.
- We said 12.
- No, we said 2 p.m.
We said 12, Luis.
No, I wrote 14.
14 p.m.
Okay, since you never read
what I text.
- I wrote down 14.
- It's okay.
Hey, we haven't met.
I'm Mariana, nice to meet you.
Hi, I'm Ramona.
I'm...
Lucia's best friend.
Ah!
What's with those desserts?
What? Luis?
You didn't tell your fiance?
No, it's just that...
It was a surprise, right?
- It was a surprise.
- Surprise.
Surprise!
Okay, let's do this.
- May I help?
- Leave it to me.
- Just tell me where to go.
- Here.
So, what do you think?
It's very trendy.
Vegan, slash, bittersweet,
slash,
traditional, Mexican.
Slash, are there other options?
We could go for something
more classic.
But these ones are awesome
because they use
the water that's left
after cooking the chickpeas,
instead of egg.
It sounds super healthy.
PLUMBER: YOU DENIED ME
LIKE PETER TO OUR LORD
It has loads of sugar.
Can you pass me the spoon?
Sure, Lucia's friend.
ALE: LUCIA'S FRIEND?
LUIS: YOU LOVE TIRAMISU.
Could we try my tiramisu?
It's an option.
Oh, is it? Yeah.
I love tiramisu, Mary.
You also want tiramisu?
Okay.
Okay.
MARIANA: MY CAKE!
HE'S A PSYCHOPATH!
You know what?
Can we invite your mom?
I mean, you know Elena and I
have always been like family.
- You don't mind, my love?
- No, no, Poochi.
If it matters to you,
it matters to me.
Besides, Mary is like
a little sister to you now.
Mariana.
Sure, we can invite her.
- No problem.
- I'm glad.
Well...
So, should we try the tiramisu?
Oh, you had it already prepared!
Let's see.
It's so good!
It has like an essence...
is it orange?
Right, exactly.
The thing is I was making
a tiramisu once
and Mariana came,
do you remember?
She dropped all
the orange essence
and it tasted amazing.
It's funny, don't you think?
Sometimes you screw something up
and things turn out
to be amazing.
I mean, it was a cake.
It's not "The" tiramisu.
Yeah.
DIONI: GET REVENGE
WITH A KISS.
Okay, then.
Well,
so?
The godfather goes for the tiramisu.
Yeah, I love tiramisu.
I think tiramisu
is the best choice
because Luis always makes
it good.
The bride votes for tiramisu.
Say no more.
We've made a decision.
Tiramisu it is.
- Sure.
- Yes.
Do you do this
for all the weddings?
Yeah, brides love it.
I see.
And do the grooms come?
I mean, Poochi
would've loved to come.
I know, but I'd like to get
to know you more.
Luis is my friend,
and I care for him.
And he's kind of obsessed
with weddings
so I'm concerned.
I don't know. Your face
tells me
you don't like weddings
so much, Mary.
You know what?
I used to love them,
but you eventually find out
people get married
to pay less for the rent,
because their moms forced them,
because there's a kid coming,
and then I saw myself,
every day,
trying to persuade these people
to love each other.
Of course, that happens for those
who don't love each other,
unlike you and Luis.
But they always say they love
each other,
so how do you know it's serious?
That's the point.
You don't know.
That's a terrible point.
Only your dress is missing.
Let's go!
No!
Hey, hold on, wait!
- No, this is too tight.
- It'll fit you!
No, Mary.
I was thinking
of something simpler.
No, but it was original.
It was good.
Quique, did you use
the measurements I sent you?
Yeah, of course.
Look, this is the most important
day of your life.
You must look divine.
Yeah, but if it doesn't fit,
that's it.
I mean, a skeleton isn't divine.
What can we do?
I don't want you to work out
to death to get in the dress.
Do you have your pills?
Of course.
Look, take one of these.
Maybe you're just
retaining water,
or it's the normal tummy
after eating.
- Of course.
- What is this?
Spirulina and cactus.
The worst thing that could happen
is over-stimulating your digestion.
Then, we get rid of the tummy
and the dress will fit you.
Let's take those pins.
I love taking the brides here.
This is where I get to know
them better.
If they order burritos,
they're boring.
Beef tacos,
they're daddy's girls.
And if they hate quesadillas,
they're mad.
Don't you want some?
Some juice?
- No, Mary, thanks.
- No, no.
I'll have another one, please.
Thanks.
Well, yeah. A papaya
and mango drink, please.
And...
Pork brains quesadilla, please.
Thanks.
Thanks.
Won't you take some for Luis?
They're his favorite,
you know that?
Yeah.
Mariana, Luis isn't obsessed
with weddings.
Luis wanted to get married,
but he wanted to marry you.
Because he's never loved anyone
the way he loved you.
And he wanted to celebrate it.
That's what weddings are for.
Did he say that?
Things weren't like that.
Well, I feel he really likes me.
But what you had was amazing.
It was amazing,
until he ruined it.
Surprise!
My love, my mom wanted...
Surprise, Lucia, my friend.
Ah.
Hi, Luis's family.
Last time we met,
it was... similar.
Very similar.
I give you this machete
as a symbol of Luis's strength
throughout his marriage.
Use to open a path
to your children.
Don't be in a hurry, okay?
Although,
a Luis Jr. or a Lucy
wouldn't be so bad.
Thanks.
I give you this mortar
so you can make Luis
some spicy salsas
and keep the spice in love
and have as many children
as God wills.
Oh, thanks.
Are you okay?
Yeah, yeah.
I give you these tools
to fix all the problems
in your relationship,
and this hammer
to destroy the hate,
and these nippers...
Chook-chook. To keep love together.
Thanks, auntie.
Thank you.
Can you call me auntie?
- I'm not feeling well.
- Lucy?
- Ah!
- I'm going with you.
I think she's nervous.
- Yeah, sure.
- Yeah, sure. It's normal.
Can I help you with...?
- Careful! That's my bag!
- Bring toilet paper and a bucket!
- Do you need it, girls?
- Lucy!
Are you okay?
Mom!
What is it, Mom?
I'm getting married.
- What?
- Wow!
- I'm getting married.
- Okay, you too.
I don't know when,
but it's a promise.
I asked Epi.
I'm glad, Mom.
Congratulations.
Epi is super cool,
and we're happy for you.
Right, Mariana?
Mom, listen.
Can we do an activity?
I just need to understand.
From 1 to 100,
how much do you love Epi?
Sweetie, sometimes a 100,
sometimes 1.
- Love is a journey.
- Yes.
You decide who will be
your passenger.
- Epi is the one.
- Sure, the one.
Like the guy who kicked you out
of your apartment?
- Girl...
- Mariana.
Or the guy for whom you left us
to move to Reynosa,
for how many years, Ale?
No, Mariana,
I won't be part of this.
Sometimes you win,
sometimes you lose.
That's love.
You're old enough.
Mom, we just want you
to be happy.
We mean it.
Mom, when can we tell you
you're fucking it up?
Or we're not allowed because
you changed our diapers?
Don't you see you've done this
all your life?
You don't know how to be
on your own, Mom.
You're afraid of commitment.
You can't keep a boyfriend.
You couldn't keep us!
- Girl, stop!
- Stop what, Alejandra?
If it wasn't for our grandparents,
where would we be?
On the street, right?
Ah!
Own up
and align your chakras,
dear Mariana.
Don't call me that!
You own up, Mom!
You know what?
Do whatever you want.
But don't expect me
to celebrate.
I think Mariana wants
to be alone, Mom.
Let's go.
Oh, for fuck's sake!
You'll feel better.
You'll see.
What a mess we made yesterday!
Now, let's kill it
on the dancefloor.
Are you ready?
Ah, yes. I've practiced
my best moves.
No, Luis. I'm not feeling good.
Mariana wanted to kill me yesterday
with her cactus pills
and her wicked hatred.
It's just a dance,
and it'll be over.
No, dude.
I don't want to do it.
- Ah, you don't want to.
- No.
You don't want to.
I didn't want to clean the mess
you left in the bathroom,
but I did it.
That was part of the deal.
Come on, you can piss off later
if you want.
We say bye. Bye! Come on.
What about all the times
you threw up in my bar?
What about that?
- Disgusting.
- It's a bar.
Okay.
He's right. Let's go.
No.
Luis can talk to Mariana.
They can handle it like adults.
That's none of your business.
Yeah, it is your business.
Dancing, especially.
- Come.
- Listen, Luis.
Listen, you know that
after the wedding
you'll never see her again.
Of course, that's the point.
Now, we can call it off
if you want.
Goodbye, wedding.
And you go back to Colombia.
No. No.
- We have the cake figurines.
- Right.
I can't believe it.
You two sound like kids.
I thought I could put up
with this... but I can't...
What?
- No, I'm fucking done!
- Wait.
- What?
- Babe!
We made a deal.
Babe, don't go!
I'm sorry.
I don't know what's going on.
Don't worry.
- Hey, sorry.
- Finally.
Lucia can't come.
She's not feeling well.
Maybe nervousness. I don't know.
Maybe she's getting cold feet.
What? No.
She's a good person.
So, can I see the steps?
Then I'll learn them
and teach her.
- Are they the ones you sent me?
- Yeah, the same three steps.
- Here's the music.
- Let's play it, and then you leave.
Yeah.
Do it together, please.
- What?
- Yeah, you two.
- Yeah.
- Let's go.
Our song?
- You're fucking kidding me, Luis!
- What?
- You're fucking kidding me!
- It's a song.
Okay, let's begin.
So, fan...
Snake...
Chest, chest.
Horse riding.
Flow, flow.
Buddha.
Egyptian.
- Hold him!
- What?
Hold him.
Okay, here comes the kiss,
but well, not now.
No.
- Yeah, I think...
- No.
Well, I'll teach Lucia.
Don't come, please.
So, what do you think?
It was good, right?
I can picture myself
riding the horse in the party.
Do you have any plans?
I'd like you to taste
the wedding's menu.
So we'd have to go
to the restaurant.
But I don't know if
you want... can...
- Sure.
- Sounds good?
Thanks, but
Ale is waiting for me.
Guess what?
My mom is getting married again.
No.
It's okay, don't worry.
You have a more important
wedding at the moment.
No problem, I understand.
Okay, let's go.
Yeah, let's go.
Oh, fuck!
It's...
There.
Almost there.
Here we are.
Please, come in.
As you can see,
I haven't done much.
Except for the menu, of course.
But the rest
still needs your help.
I couldn't give it
any other name.
Right?
Don't be so full of yourself,
but this fucking muffin
tastes so good.
Why?
You can't say a tiramisu
is a muffin. No.
Forgive me, forgive me, please.
Enlighten me with your
bakery knowledge.
Because you studied in...?
Where did you study?
In Paris?
Oui, Oui.
- Where?
- Je studied at the "bakerie,"
- Oui, Oui.
- The "cakerie..."
Oui, Oui.
Thanks.
Thanks for planning my wedding.
For dancing with me.
For this. Thanks.
Let's toast to the...
to your restaurant,
which I'm sure will be
a success.
Not as much as if it were
our restaurant.
But cheers.
Cheers.
Your mom is getting married,
right?
Again.
Why can't she be like
your parents?
How have they managed to love
each other for years?
I have no idea.
I've wondered that so many times.
I have no idea.
I'm scared,
that my life will turn into this.
My mom fails, Ale fails,
I fail.
We hold each other.
Was it that?
- It was that, wasn't it?
- Luis.
Do you want more tiramisu?
Luis.
What?
Where are they?
Where are my clothes?
Wait, Mariana.
- Hey, I think...
- Here, wear this.
I think...
I should go, Luis.
- Why?
- What do you mean "why"?
No.
Okay, wait.
Please, wait.
Wait, Mariana.
- Listen, please.
- I want to go!
Listen!
Lucia and I...
Oh, don't mention Lucia now.
Please, Luis.
I don't love Lucia!
I'll call off the wedding with her
and marry you.
You didn't get a thing,
right, Luis?
What didn't I get?
Weren't you going to dance
our song in your wedding?
Are you a psycho? Or what, Luis?
- Excuse me? A psycho?
- Yes.
May I remind you who thought
of planning
this whole wedding thing?
Psycho?
Of course I wanted
to dance my song,
- Your song?
- In the wedding only I wanted.
- It was our song, Luis.
- Only I wanted it!
Our song
and my wedding, by myself.
Perfect, if our song works
for your plan B,
dance our song with your plan B.
How do you know you weren't
my plan B?
Luis, you only want
to marry anyone.
- No matter what.
- With you.
I didn't want to get married,
and you knew it,
and you asked me
and fucked it up.
- That's clear.
- And fucked up everything we had.
But you know what?
I left you the restaurant.
- Ah, you left me the restaurant?
- Yes.
- Thanks.
- Life goes on, get married!
I'm getting married.
I'm getting married.
Get married and have
your fucking wedding!
Sure, thank you very much.
Fuck!
Ah, I'm so stupid!
Oh, shit!
Hey, Ma'am, Miss, Mariana.
How was your dance?
Hey, Dioni.
Nice to see you.
Okay. You should go.
There's a crisis.
Goodbye, gorgeous.
I don't care if he's your boyfriend,
but why are you hiding him?
I'm not hiding him.
Sometimes I don't tell you things
because, as always,
your problems are priority.
There are more things you need
to tell me, besides you dating him.
I'm not dating him.
I just hate your lectures.
- Okay.
- Okay.
I just think your life
hasn't been good lately.
Oh, fuck!
You're fucking kidding me, Mariana!
Are you serious?
It's great, isn't it?
It's great that I'm always
the one with issues.
My life is perfect.
I don't have issues.
You're the one with the issues.
You're the one planning a wedding
for an asshole who's over you!
He's over you, Mariana!
If you're so sure,
why are you living in my house?
Ah, I'm glad
we're thinking the same.
- I'm leaving.
- Go on!
I'm leaving. You know what?
I hope you're happy
because I'm leaving
far, far away for a while.
That sounds perfect.
What...?
Shit, did you get
the scholarship? Ale!
I don't understand him.
I don't understand Ale.
I don't understand my mom.
I don't get why everyone
is against me now.
Then she said it's her house.
Then why did she let me stay?
- Well, Ale, I think...
- What's next, Mom?
I can't eat there?
I can't shower? What?
She kicked me out,
as if I was undesired.
And if I know something,
if I'm sure about something,
it's that I'm a very
desired person.
I hate them! I hate them!
I hate her!
I hate her!
I don't, you know?
No.
No, from now on, Mariana is over.
It's done.
It's over.
You were right.
This is the cleverest shit
I've ever done.
I met the true Mariana,
and I don't want her.
You're right.
What is it?
Did you fix your thing with Ramona?
No, she left me.
I liked that girl.
And I think she liked me too.
But well, I have priorities.
Don't tell me it was my fault.
Yeah, basically, buddy.
It is complicated to show
someone you love them
when you're marrying
somebody else.
But well, this will be over
in two days.
Cheers.
Are you okay?
Ale will be in charge of the flowers
and the DJ will be here
at ten to set everything up.
The judge will be here at six,
and Luis will bring the tiramisu.
Girl, why did you give him
the ring back?
Because I never wanted to get
married, and he knew it.
I was never sure,
and then I saw myself,
standing there like an idiot,
in the middle of everything
he was arranging.
And what did you want?
I didn't want to suffer,
and I didn't want him
to suffer either.
Ah, that's good, then.
So good, because you know what?
Right now, none of you
is suffering.
Great,
you made a great decision.
Mariana, from all the people
who come here,
imagine about...
how many do you think are sure
they want to get married?
I don't know.
Not even one.
But what's our job?
Make them believe
they love each other
and charge them a lot of money?
Listen, darling,
nobody knows if they'll be happy
in the future.
And that's okay, right?
Let people believe
they can be happy.
No.
Sorry, I didn't want to hurt you
this way.
It wasn't my intention...
To get this far.
That's why I'm here, before you,
my best friend,
well, before you two.
Now you'll taste the most
romantic,
most delicious meal I've made.
But first,
some wine of forgiveness.
To forgive each other.
Ramona,
I've never seen Lucia
so happy with someone.
I mean it.
This was all my fault.
I started this mess
and now I'm doing it
for her own happiness.
Yeah, I did it for our happiness.
For our possible future.
I mean, possible,
not certain, but possible.
But still you're getting married.
Yeah, but we're ending this
on the weekend, right, Luis?
Absolutely.
That's right!
You didn't even try
the wine of forgiveness.
Thanks, Luis.
If you need a bartender,
call me.
No, actually,
if you need a cook,
let me know, because I need
to sell this place.
Just like that, Luis?
This was your dream.
No, it was our dream.
Mariana's and mine.
I can't do it on my own.
This is yours.
Thank you.
Bon apptit.
Are you ready for your trip?
So should we break up
officially?
We never dated officially.
Of course. This makes things
simpler, right?
Did you tell Luis about me?
No.
See? There you go.
Everything was good and...
What's happening to us?
So awkward.
Not everything was so awkward,
was it?
Not so much.
Ale, what if we hang out until
you leave?
I can help you pack
a few canned peppers,
sauces, frozen tortillas.
Do you want flowers?
I can run after the plane,
and that's it,
you live happily ever after.
No, I mean, the plane thing
was a joke.
I know it's not possible.
I'm leaving.
See you sometime.
Well,
goodbye.
I liked us being
each other's secret.
Thank you.
Will you forgive me?
What I told you wasn't cool,
and wasn't my intention.
It's just that...
I don't know what I want.
You know.
You don't want to be afraid.
You're never afraid.
Where were you?
What if I get too cold?
What if I miss my tortillas
and screw everything up?
And you can't do anything
without me.
This girl...
Hi.
Hi, sister.
I'm sorry, sister.
Forgive me.
Oh, I'm gonna miss you so much.
These are some of the weddings
we've planned,
and this one, this one,
this one,
and this one
ended up in a divorce.
I don't want Luis
to go through that.
I've never understood why
I do this for a living.
I think I used to think I could
understand the couples,
their love,
and so I could plan the perfect
wedding for them,
but the truth is I can't.
For that reason, this will be
my last wedding.
It's amazing, Mariana.
You also deserve happiness.
Let's sign it, and it's over.
Luis, are you sure you want me
to keep the rings?
I'm very nervous about
keeping them.
Why me?
Relax, breathe.
You're the godfather.
Look how beautiful she looks.
What?
But that's not the dress.
No way.
Is that the dress?
What do you mean, Luis?
A white dress, the wedding.
Fucking Mariana!
Hey.
There was a mistake.
My sister is sending you this.
- Ah!
- Uh, no.
No, you know what?
This one kinda grew on me.
I feel fantastic.
Okay, sounds good.
Babe.
Attention, everyone.
I need to make a confession.
I've been having consensual
and affective
sexual intercourse
with Alejandra.
Dioni.
And these were the most beautiful
weeks of my life.
But well,
Ale is in a very
important mission.
I'll treasure the memories
of this sweet love
that grew between us.
- I love you.
- I love you too.
There's no time to waste.
Hey?
My best friend is getting married.
Congratulations!
Thank you.
Good evening to the newlyweds,
their family and friends.
We're about to start the ceremony
to legally bind you,
Lucia and Luis.
Are you doing this of your
own free will, Luis and Lucia?
LuiCia.
Do you wish to
get married today?
- That's right.
- Good.
Please, bring the rings.
Oh, of course.
Oh, no!
Ah! Here.
Before continuing the ceremony
I have to ask
does anyone here oppose
to the union of these two people?
All right. Let's proceed
to the ring exchange.
In the end you realize
the only thing that matters
are the smiles,
the moments you share,
the support you give each other.
Please.
When you find true love,
you have no option
but to take a leap and scream...
I love you.
Oh, no.
Please, follow me, sir,
your Majesty.
We trust blindly
in this country's laws.
- Come on, quick!
- What did I just say?
Mariana what did you do?
What are you saying?
- What did you say?
- Nothing.
Nothing.
No, don't give me that look.
It's okay. It's all cool.
- What did you say?
- I just want you to be happy.
What did you say?
Lucia?
Take care of him.
Well, I was on my way out.
I'm leaving.
I love you, Ale.
I love you, Mom.
I love you, Luis's aunt.
I love you, Luis.
I'm leaving.
Yes.
No, Mariana, hold on.
I love you, Lucia.
What?
What's going on?
I fucked it up from
the very beginning.
What do you mean you fucked it up?
You were wrong.
- Yeah, I...
- Oh, no. I knew it.
- I wanted to annoy you.
- You're a psycho liar.
- Yes, I'm a psycho, a liar,
- What's wrong with you?
And asshole. Yes.
- You made a huge mess.
- I'm an asshole, an asshole.
But I love you.
I love you.
- Sorry.
- Yes.
I love you, Mariana, so much.
Me too.
- I still don't want to get married.
- That's okay.
I don't want to live thinking
that the best day of our lives
has passed.
No, nobody wants to get married.
Who wants to get married?
Do I want to get married?
No.
You should've thought about that
before doing this.
I'm sorry.
The best days of our lives...
can they happen anytime
in the future?
Every day.
Can we start today?
Okay, yes.
Besides, if we don't get married,
we can't get a divorce.
Oh, shut up!
Dear, beautiful audience,
give it up for the newlyweds.
Oh, I mean,
I mean, the couples,
the girlfriends,
the lifetime lovers. Damn!
What a night! What a night!
H-H-H-He-Hey.
This is D-D-D-D-J Dioni,
livening up the best parties.
Now I'm gonna leave you
with a hit
to warm things up, yes, sir.
It's not bad to be your plan B.
Really?
Not bad, right?
What now?
Now we need certificates,
buying tables, chairs, lights,
and go into a shit ton of debt.
Well,
in the meantime... Tiramisu?
Forever.
I love her a hundred percent.
Forever.
- A hundred percent.
- A hundred percent.
I can't imagine myself
waking up with somebody else.
Damn! More than a hundred.
Two hundred percent, right?
Oh, sweetie!
Can you do 300?
We share the same life,
the same beliefs.
Mediocre in life,
mediocre in love.
We said no lies.
This is fake, for God's sake!
Do you think I'm a fool?
Answer me.
Do you think I'm a fool?
- Well, no.
- No.
In this country, only three people
out of a thousand get married,
and two out of three weddings
end in a divorce.
How many friends do you have
on Facebook?
- Many.
- 1000.
- I don't know.
- See it.
- Where can I see it?
- Ah, here-!
A thousand, maybe?
About that number.
Only two people out of a thousand
will stay together.
They'll grow old,
like in the movies.
Only two.
Am I being too pessimistic?
I don't want to come off
as a killjoy.
Mariana.
No, every now and then it's good
to go over the top.
Why do you want to get married?
Do you think you're the one couple
out of 500?
I mean, you can lie
to yourselves,
but not to me...
No fucking way.
I'm the best wedding planner.
I can't waste my time, sorry.
I can't plan a wedding
for those who lie to themselves
and don't love each other
a hundred percent.
Love is the most important
thing to me,
and I can't see it in you.
Mariana, hold on.
Maybe they do love each other.
Magali, why are we doing this?
For money?
I can't lie to them.
Goodbye, friends.
- No, sorry, Mariana, but we...
- No, wait, Begoa.
Don't worry.
We'll have
our dream wedding.
Someone will plan it.
Don't worry, gorgeous.
Jose, tell her something!
We'll be happy.
That's the only thing that matters,
my love.
Forever?
Growing old, like in the movies.
I got them.
You've passed the test.
You've passed the test.
You've passed the test.
You just have to sign here.
Here and here.
If they lie, why shouldn't I?
There's something I need
to confess.
From the moment you
walked in here,
I saw pure love.
And the more they pay...
the more love they'll have.
BETTER DEAD THAN WED
Mom!
The dessert?
You said you'd bring the dessert.
Uh, I forgot it!
I forgot it!
Sorry, sorry, sorry.
I've been working like crazy.
I don't get why people
get married.
Lucky you, right?
Where's Mom?
Getting ready for
her new sweetheart.
Ah, Mom, Mom...
What's with those suitcases?
Shit, is she moving in
with him, Ale?
No, I wish.
No, these are mine.
Because I told Mom
I'm moving in with you.
What? What?
Didn't you think of telling me
before packing your suitcases?
It's just while I get the
scholarship. I swear.
Just for a bit.
I'm gonna get it.
No, I don't know.
- Why not?
- Alejandra, who's here?
What does she mean?
Who else is coming?
You should've told me.
Mariana!
Hi, Mom.
I thought you were Epigmenio.
Weird name, weird life.
It's very late now.
I'll check on the food.
Please, don't leave me here
with her.
Please, please.
She became super noisy.
- I need details. Tell me.
- No, why?
What's wrong with you?
- Epi, hi.
- Hey, Alejandra.
What's up!
I've brought a dessert
you'll love.
So, how long have you
been dating?
A while.
The truth is we don't go
on dates often.
We've skipped a few steps.
What?
We'd rather stay home.
You would've met Epi
if you had visited us before.
I didn't visit you
because I can't, Mom.
You know I'm very busy at work.
Besides, spring is
the busiest season.
Of course! We met last spring.
Elena told me
you're a wedding planner.
Yes, I'm a wedding planner.
It sounds quite American,
don't you think?
When I got married, my mother
planned the wedding.
- Oh, so you're a divorcee?
- No, a widower.
Oh, a widower. Poor thing.
Maria Luisa has transcended.
Yeah, it was a terrible,
fulminating cancer.
I'm so sorry.
- How old?
- Mariana.
What?
Well, she was young.
42 years old.
A child.
I'm so sorry.
But I was meaning how old
are you, Epi.
Ah. I'm 65 years old.
He dyes his hair.
Don't mind her.
Mariana and I have always done
this interrogation thing
since we were kids. So...
Yeah, it became a tradition.
So, do you have children?
Yes, a daughter, Leticia.
She's a neuroscientist.
Nerds.
Actually I wanted
to ask you something, Epi.
Sorry, I have to take this call.
Yeah, sure.
Magali, what is it?
No, listen. Calm her.
It's normal for the brides to cry
a day before the wedding.
Give her an infusion
and tell her tomorrow we'll talk.
You know what, Magali?
Tell her that her face
will swell if she keeps crying.
She's interested, isn't she?
- Okay, bye.
- Yeah, give me her number...
Sorry.
There's a whole science
behind my job.
Is everything okay?
Yes, I'm very excited.
Today it's the happiest day
of my life.
It is, right?
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, of course.
You're ready.
And I swear I love him.
I love him a hundred percent.
Okay.
And you're telling me this
because there's something
you haven't told me?
No, no, no, this is just
for toasting.
- Give it to me!
- Here.
Can I tell you something?
They're waiting for us
downstairs.
We're almost ready.
Thanks.
So exciting!
Wow!
Please, don't be mad.
Here it comes.
It's just that I can't tell
anyone.
My bridesmaids are my
sisters-in-law,
my friends, Fede's friends.
Look like you care,
and she'll spill the tea.
Yesterday,
Robertito, Fede's friend,
came to my bachelorette.
I kinda knew him.
It was something casual, casual.
We met at the restrooms, and...
We just kissed a bit,
but I don't know what to do,
Mariana. I got feelings.
- What can I do? Should I tell Fede?
- No!
Robertito asked me
to elope with him.
And didn't you think
that was the best time
to uninvite him to the wedding?
And what would I tell Fede?
I kissed your best friend
and uninvited him to the wedding.
What if he asks me
to elope with him?
You know what, Bego?
Love is my priority.
If you want to elope with Robertito,
I'll help you.
I can call everything off,
just now.
Magali, let's start
Operation Elopement.
Let's keep Fede entertained
with some girls or something.
- No, no, listen.
- Of course, poor guy...
- Do I call it off?
- Yeah.
Cancel Operation Elopement.
I don't want to break
Fede's heart.
No.
He's the best thing
that's happened to me.
Of course.
Maybe you can tell him
the truth in a couple of years.
Who hasn't kissed people
in the bathroom?
Okay, let me tell you my story.
Sit.
I was in your place.
Full of doubts.
In the end, the only thing
that matters...
are the smiles,
the moments you share,
the support you give each other.
Relationships go
through so many stages,
but when you find true love,
you have no option
but to take the leap and scream...
I love you.
Didn't you give the ring back
to that guy?
Yeah, I mean. I don't know
why I used that example.
It's a completely different
situation.
The important thing is that today
your new life begins, Begoa.
And everything is okay with my ex.
We're still friends.
Actually, guess who made
the cake for today?
When you told me
you have a restaurant,
I thought you meant
an actual restaurant.
What? This is an actual
restaurant, Lucy.
Without tables,
without customers, nothing.
I mean, that's the dream.
But it isn't a restaurant yet.
What do you need to open it?
The thing is I only know
how to cook.
Mariana was going to do
the rest.
And now that I'm on my own,
I don't even know where to start.
Mexico is a country of bureaucracy.
I know.
I was trying to pay the landlord,
and I asked him,
"why can't I pay in cash?
I can't open a bank account,"
and he told me he knows
some lawyers, but they're expensive.
So I have to pay
to be allowed to pay.
It's ridiculous.
I mean, being a resident
in Mexico is a hassle.
What's wrong?
Listen,
Mariana and I are friends, okay?
We're business partners.
She's a customer.
A customer who broke my heart,
but a customer still.
We have a healthy relationship,
an adult relationship from which
we've moved on.
Completely moved on.
Help me. Help me, please?
Let's take it
because it's getting late.
It is what it is.
It's the worst day of my life.
I know.
I know, Robertito,
but look, you have to think
of your future, your new life.
- It'll be okay.
- No, no, no!
It'll be okay.
Trust me.
Ready, my love?
I am.
I don't Know. Ready!
I'm over, I'm over, I'm over it.
My poor buddy.
He's... heartbroken.
It's just business,
and we're professional. Right?
It doesn't matter.
If anything happens,
tell her I'm your girlfriend.
Okay.
Okay, dear Luis.
This way.
- Hi.
- Hi.
You need a few more drinks.
Hey, here!
- Thank you very much.
- I'm an idiot.
There you go. This will
make you feel better.
Luisito, thank you, as always.
Nice to see you, Magali.
I'm gonna say
hi to my friend Mariana.
My friend!
His friend.
Luis!
Here, drink it.
Yeah, that's right.
Feeling better?
Done.
Mariana, do you copy me?
Shit might hit the fan.
Shit might hit the fan.
Not literally.
It all looks clean.
No!
Ah, Robertito.
Hey, hey.
Well, I have to work.
But I'll be right back.
I'll be back.
They'll make you some...
Two more here, please.
I'll be back.
I'll be back, okay?
Hey, you make
the most of these weddings.
Ah, Robertito?
- Yeah.
- Yeah, how are you?
You look... What's the word?
Different.
That's how people look
when they feel good,
Luis.
Happy.
Enjoying everything.
So happy, you know?
And you?
I'm good. Very, very good.
I've just finished furnishing
the apartment,
and the purple carpet,
do you remember?
The one you disliked?
Well, now I like it.
You were right.
Well, I'm glad somebody
is enjoying it.
- I've got to work.
- Yeah.
- What do you mean?
- Mariana!
Yeah, I enjoy it, with...
Are you coming with her?
Yeah, she's Lucia, my roomie,
my buddy,
my confidante, my comrade.
Just friends?
Yeah, I got it. I got it.
I've been going from date
after date, you have no idea.
Making up for the lost time.
You have no idea.
Well, I'm leaving.
No, no, you got me, you know?
I got you?
What can I say?
Why should I lie?
I mean, it's not like
I'm gonna hurt you.
Lucia,
I'm coming with her,
but not as friends, but...
like two lovebirds.
What? Why are you laughing?
Of course, I've never heard
you saying you're a lovebird.
With somebody else, Luis.
Somebody else.
Listen...
Move! Damn.
You...
Bro...
I never told you
she was a summer fling,
and now that she's back
from Colombia... Old flames...
- Colombian?
- Yeah.
No, you didn't tell me.
A few nice months.
Truly amazing!
Yeah, yeah, I got it.
I just found it weird
that you jumped into a new
relationship so quickly.
Because, I mean,
you were always the slow type.
- Awful, awful.
- Awful.
But you know what I liked
about her?
That I didn't have to flirt
with her
because she knows what
she wants.
She's not like it's a game...
I'm so glad. Well, I have to...
She's amazing. I love her.
Right.
I'll marry her.
What?
I'm marrying.
I'm getting married, Mariana.
- I'm getting married.
- Ah.
- Are you serious?
- Yeah, yeah.
Well, congratulations.
When is the wedding?
Soon, very soon.
I mean, not now.
But very soon.
I mean, in the end
it's just a party.
I'm sure she needs the papers
to be a resident, right?
What?
Don't be mean.
People do fall in love.
It's good love, divine love.
Good love.
Like in all marriages.
Of course.
Well, I'm happy for you.
Yeah. I don't know if I should
believe you,
but those eyes
and that sheepish smile.
- What sheepish smile?
- To the newlyweds!
I mean it. I'm truly happy
for you and for her.
I know you were dying
to get married.
In fact,
I can plan your wedding.
What?
I wish you all the best.
Brother.
I'm the best,
and nobody knows you like I do.
- That's good.
- Fool!
Okay, sure, perfect.
- We're adults, aren't we?
- Yes.
I knew you were dying
to get married,
no matter what,
no matter the person.
With the love of my life.
With the love of your life, yes.
Well, see you on Monday
at the office.
- I love Mondays.
- Perfect.
See you on Monday.
Great!
Cool!
Hi.
What's up?
Well, we're here,
in the name of love.
This one. Mariana... Mariana!
- Three cheers for love!
- Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, to the love I feel for you,
Fede, my brother.
And I love you, gorgeous!
But, especially...
What I truly want to say...
especially,
I wanna say I love her!
I love her, Bego, my Bego!
- He's drunk.
- Yes.
Wasn't he your DJ?
Shut up, shut up!
Do you want me to beat
the shit out of him?
- What happened?
- I don't know.
Why don't you tell everyone
- what we did last night
- What?
In the bar's bathroom?
What did you do yesterday?
Everyone knocked on the door
and I'd say, "No, it's occupied."
I went to the bathroom.
You're my soulmate...
You're my only love.
- Bego, what the hell?
- Yes.
Bego!
Come.
What the hell, Bego!
No, no!
No, no!
Help him!
No, no, no!
Damn you, Roberto!
Why are you doing this to me?
Shit!
Careful, careful!
Oh, my God!
- Come.
- Yes.
Did they even pay?
There's nothing we can do.
To the next one.
What goes next?
Mauricio and Renata,
Carlos and Sofia,
and Luis.
We'll plan Luis's wedding.
Really?
- Girl.
- Oh, I know.
Mariana!
Mariana!
Mariana!
What did you do?
Magali called me.
What did you want me to do?
Congratulations on your wedding.
Send me your gift list.
Why are you doing this?
Because I'm either a fool
or a genius.
Mariana,
you gave him the ring back.
You told him you didn't want
to get married,
and now you're doing this?
It sounds like self-sabotage,
don't you think?
No, not at all.
Are you sure you want to plan
Luis's wedding?
I'm not sure,
but I'm intrigued.
You're a psycho.
- Hey!
- Hey, you scare me!
Take a chill pill, man.
You did the cleverest shit
you could've done in your life.
No, man.
I'll call her, tell her the truth
and end with this bullshit, now.
What the hell is truth, man?
It's impossible to know
the truth,
especially in this post-truth world,
am I right?
I just wanted to tease her
a bit.
Have you forgotten what she did
to you?
I just wanted to annoy her
a bit, man.
My king, today you have to win.
If you do this, she'll definitely
ask for forgiveness.
Then, what?
Do I go on with this?
Should I marry Lucia?
Should we have kids?
No, you don't have to go
that far.
Mariana will yield before that.
And if you get married to her,
what's the problem?
You can hire me.
Bring DJ Dion to your wedding.
A super party.
And if you have a kid?
I'll be their godfather.
Is there a problem?
Lucia will refuse, man.
A good seller knows that.
Either you persuade with facts
or through blackmail,
and you know her better
than I do.
I'm a romance genius, am I not?
You're...
No, no, no, dude.
- I won't do it, period.
- Please, Lucy.
Listen, don't do it for me.
It's for you.
It's the best for you.
Listen,
I'm not that desperate, Luis.
Hey.
Listen, she made me look like
a fool when she gave the ring back.
I don't wanna
look like a fool twice
if she finds out
everything was a lie.
I don't know. It's not my fault.
Fire her.
Tell her I don't want her
in my wedding. No.
This woman is relentless.
Besides, it's a bit your fault.
You said if anything happened,
I could say we were dating.
- Accept your responsibility.
- No, no, I can't fake a wedding.
- That's ridiculous.
- That's the point.
We won't fake anything.
We get married,
a little party, a little fun.
Yeah, and think of your papers.
It's your dream,
having your own apartment,
can you imagine it?
Your own bank account,
getting a job.
A citizen of the world.
And then we'll have kids
or what?
No. We can annul
the marriage in two years.
But that won't be an issue
because you'll be living
- the "Mexican dream."
- Mexican dream.
Otherwise, people will think
badly of you.
- Exactly.
- It's for your own good.
Lu, people like divorcees more
than happy singletons.
That's right...
Don't ask me why.
I didn't make the rules.
No, no, Luis.
No, I don't want to do it.
I can't.
Imagine you're my plus one
in any other wedding,
but this wedding means the residence
and freedom for you, Lu.
When was the last time
you paid the rent?
There you go, see?
Let's screw this system
that divides us with
its stupid borders. Enough!
Are you making all this up
to get rid of me?
No, no, no.
I mean, freedom.
I mean that, citizenship,
individuality, a passport.
Okay, Lu, what should we do
if we see that
they're beating someone
on the street?
Do we just leave them?
Do we tell them
they're exaggerating?
No, we help them.
Oh, Dioni, I can't.
Ah!
Lu, let me be your visa husband.
For how long will this be?
We'll talk about it.
Tell me until I watch the video.
Oh.
Call him now.
Something's wrong.
This is very weird.
Well, if it's weird,
call him and call it off.
It's none of your business.
Yeah, right?
Well.
No, we'll carry on with this,
okay?
Why?
You've called off worse things.
Your wedding, for instance.
Why not this?
Magali, take care of the weddings
we have scheduled
and don't take others for now.
This will be my masterpiece,
and it'll take a lot of my time.
Usually she's not this excited
about her job.
- It's guilt.
- It's bullshit.
It's bullshit.
Say my favorite things.
Come on.
Your Japanese knife
and making cocktails for me.
He hates shrimp and has
a lovely snore.
She'll ask for my favorite position.
What is it?
Doggy.
No, spooning.
Ah, you've changed?
But you know what?
Yeah, tell her doggy style.
She can say doggy style?
Yeah, she'll hate it.
She'll hate it!
And the most important
thing, Lucia,
you were my first one, okay?
And yeah, she was my first one,
and it's lovely how destiny
will make her...
my last one.
- Very, very romantic.
- Yeah.
Recycled ring.
Okay, let's do this.
We'll celebrate your wedding,
I mean, your love.
- Isn't there anything else?
- No.
We said no lies.
This is all fake.
Do you think I'm an idiot?
Answer me!
Do you think I'm an idiot?
Do we have to answer that?
Are you okay?
It's a test we do
with all our clients,
but you've passed it.
So, tell me, what's the thing you
like the most about Luis?
What can I say, Mary?
- Mariana.
- Damn, they're so many, Mary.
Well, I love his Japanese knife.
- Ah, the...
- How he makes cocktails...
The lovely things he tells me.
I even like his snores, Mary.
Can you believe it?
Well, what about
his favorite position? I know it.
Doggy.
Awesome!
- Of course.
- Yeah.
- Yes.
- Yes.
Do you know what I like the most
about her?
She's a confident woman.
Ah!
Well, normal,
but she's brave enough
to face her trauma
- and overcome it. Right, my love?
- Yeah, yeah.
She's been honest
from the very beginning.
She'd never hurt me.
We'll, lucky you.
Yeah, and the most important thing.
She keeps her promises.
- That's quite clear.
- Yeah.
Well, Mary, you know
Poochi loves dancing,
so we want something that
feels very much like us, you know?
Like... #LuiCia.
Ugh, kill yourselves.
Kill me or LuiCia, I don't care.
How long have you been together?
Ah...
Well, answering that is like
looking back to the past,
and the truth is that LuiCia
looks into the future.
Okay.
And when do you want
your wedding to be?
Well, in about a month and a half?
Yeah, maximum.
If we extend it too much.
Don't tell me you're pregnant.
- No, no.
- Not yet.
Not yet, because we know
in a year or two
anything can happen.
Yeah.
I mean, we have this urge
to celebrate love.
- Yes.
- Yes.
Yeah, I suppose you also
have this urge
to get your papers for
the Mexican residence, right?
No, no Mary, not really.
The point is we'd like to
get married, Mariana.
It's not so complicated.
It's just a party.
Yeah, just a party.
The godfather.
Who's gonna be the godfather?
Let me guess. Dionisio?
- Of course.
- Right.
My, my.
My, my.
- Hey.
- Hi.
- Dioni.
- The son of Zeus?
Are you, Ale?
The ex-girlfriend's sister?
And you're the godfather now?
The godfather...
and D-D-D-DJ, Dioni,
the life of the party.
Livening up the best events,
always,
you know.
I'll be there, at the front row,
witnessing love.
Really?
Why so many papers?
So much yada yada.
Flesh feels so nice.
It's so easy to just...
Look at each other,
feel their touch,
muffle their fear.
It's funny.
I've always thought the same.
You just have to sign the contract,
and that's all.
- I'll leave it here.
- Oh, Poochi!
Here you go.
Congratulations, LuiCia.
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
#LuiCia, you forgot it.
Awesome!
- Did you see her face?
- Yeah.
- She was pissed, but I'm scared.
- Yeah.
"Oh, I won't ask the position
because I know it."
As if you told that
to all your customers.
Hey, Luis. Do you think she's
suspicious?
- No!
- No?
No, not at all.
Besides, what's the worst
that could happen?
I'm helping you.
I'll annoy her just a bit,
throw a big party
with my buddies,
hire DJ Dioni,
and we're all happy, okay?
LuiCia, victorious.
Luis, why the fuck are you
doing this?
Why don't you sit with her?
Talk with her, and that's it.
- No, that'd be the easy road.
- Exactly.
No, I want her to feel
the frustration
of losing someone.
Oh, drama queen.
You wanna shatter her heart
into thousands of pieces.
If it can be more, the better.
That's shitty!
- Why?
- Because it is.
- Do you want another beer, Luis?
- Yeah, yeah.
What about your girlfriend?
Oh, no, sweetie, no.
I've come with him,
but I'm not with him.
- Ah.
- Ah, yes, but no.
Especially, no.
What was that?
Why did you do it?
What? Look, look.
Booze.
- Hey, dumb-ass. Where were you?
- Hey!
It's a secret.
Don't tell anyone,
nobody, not even your pillow.
You're my love secret.
- No love secrets, okay?
- Okay.
Hey, cheers.
Tell me.
How was it?
- She called her Mary.
- She hates to be called Mary.
Order something, Lu.
That was my beer.
Oh, sorry, Lucy. Here.
No, Luis. I want mine.
Hello?
Berta.
Oh, sorry, am I interrupting?
Oh, I'm glad you came.
- Look.
- No!
Oh, you didn't have to,
but I'm glad you did it.
It's our favorite tiramisu.
Oh, it looks delicious!
How are you doing?
I'm good. Working a lot,
but I'm good.
- And you?
- Same.
Who would've thought it?
Luis is getting married.
He is...
What?
Didn't you think of telling us
before?
I had to hear somewhere else
that you're getting married?
Listen, listen, listen.
Calm down, please.
My mom, she's the traitor's BFF.
You can't do that, right, Dad?
Berta and I are friends.
It has nothing to do with Luis.
You never visit your mother,
but you visit your ex's!
No, no, no.
The thing is Berta
is a lovely person.
It's so weird that she didn't know
anything about the wedding.
And you told her, didn't you?
I didn't know she didn't know.
There's something wrong,
and you don't believe me.
There's nothing wrong here.
I was going to tell you.
Why wouldn't I?
I had prepared a surprise,
but I wasn't expecting you to
go and give her my tiramisu, Mom.
Yeah, she brought me some.
I'll save some for you next time.
Yeah, save me some.
But you know what?
Save face, Mariana,
if you still have some left.
It's a rule.
If her son was inside you,
you can't be friends,
unless he passed away.
Do you want me to kill him?
No one's killing anyone, dear.
Okay.
I won't meet with her anymore.
Can you tell us about
your wedding?
Sure!
I'm marrying Lucia.
Do you remember Lucia,
the Colombian girl who came once?
You remember her, don't you?
- Lu... Lucy?
- Lucy.
But wasn't she...?
Lucy?
Why not her?
Mom, it happened.
She came back, and...
we met...
- No, we, no.
- You fell in love?
Exactly.
You love each other like we do.
How can you love each other
after so many years?
Well... We just do it.
Dear team,
we're planning the most important
wedding we've ever made.
The ex-boyfriend's wedding.
For Luis, someone you all know.
Obviously I know him
better than anyone.
Well, maybe his girlfriend
or his mom know him more.
But I'm in the top five
of people who know him the most.
I want something original,
unseen.
Ideas.
I have an idea,
but I have many questions.
Does the dress have to be
long and white?
Well, does it have to be
a dress?
That's the spirit.
Photos, do we have
photo ideas? Flowers?
I'm thinking of using marigolds
for decoration.
And maybe we can throw soil
instead of rice
to bury the past.
I love it. I'm feeling this awesome
vibe. Am I the only one?
Well, I'll go and fetch
the bouquet.
- Unleash your imagination.
- Come on!
What if...?
Don Antonio it's lovely.
But we're gonna need something
less white.
Maybe less flowers
and more thorns.
Something less aerodynamic.
With personality.
Thanks.
For whom is that bouquet?
For a friend.
What friend?
For which friend is that bouquet?
- Ale told you, didn't she?
- Mariana.
Mom, this is serious business.
Luis is my client.
It's all cool.
Well, what do you think
about Epi?
He looks okay, good.
I mean, I barely know him,
but I'm glad you're happy.
Ah, well, you'll be happier
because we'll go dancing.
- Sounds good. Have fun.
- No, I mean all of us.
Epi wants you to come with us
because he couldn't
get to meet you properly.
He wants to get to know you
more.
- Tonight?
- Yeah.
Mom, I'm planning a wedding.
I can't. I'm very busy.
Listen, Mariana.
We're in a market.
I'm helping you choose
a bouquet...
- Mariana, you owe me one.
- Mom, you're...
Perfect, Don Antonio.
I love it.
Maybe I can put
these ones here...
Perfect, just what I wanted.
Did you call me God?
What?
You said, "Oh, God!"
- Right?
- I didn't.
- Of course not.
- Of course you did.
I said your name.
But I get you.
It was good.
No one has ever told me
something so sweet.
- I'm leaving.
- What if I do this?
Well, if you excuse me,
I'll be right back.
So what do you do, Epi?
Are we playing now?
I'm retired,
but now I manage a shelter
for dogs with disabilities.
Wow!
Do you only receive dogs
with disabilities?
What about the other ones?
I mean, they're so many.
What are your quirks?
Your vices?
I don't know.
I don't do many things.
Yeah, you look boring.
I run 6 miles every day.
Any other hobby?
The usual,
cooking, reading,
sometimes I smoke a cigar.
- This motherfucker is a killer.
- Awesome.
We have the information
that we need.
Epi, thank you so much.
What do you think
about reggaeton?
Oh, those musicians
are perverts.
I knew it, a right-wing bigot.
Well, we shouldn't be judgmental,
shouldn't we?
No, of course not.
I'm not a killjoy.
If I need reggaeton,
I'm into it.
So, is the interrogation over?
Yeah, Mom. Epi wanted to
dance with you.
- Oh, great!
- Shall we?
Shall we?
Oh, you fucked it up, Ale.
I had cornered him.
Cornered him where, Mariana?
- Didn't we...?
- Ah!
Oh, Mom.
That's so embarrassing!
He's a good dancer,
don't you think?
Yeah.
Oh, they're so cute!
LuiCia will be like that
during their honeymoon.
Only if they can go through
the wedding.
If they can go through
the wedding.
This is my favorite part:
choosing the type of wedding.
We want you to make
all decisions together.
- Are you ready?
- Super ready.
More than ready.
So, we have to choose
the style of the wedding.
Knowing Luis's taste,
I thought he'd like something
like...
fantasy themed.
Hey, Mariana,
don't you think that's a bit silly?
Wouldn't it be better
something... more...
Right, it's a bit old-fashioned,
right?
Maybe something trendy.
- Right?
- I know, I know.
Something local, more rustic,
to honor Lucia's hometown.
Oh, no, Mary. It's not a town.
It's Bogota, the capital.
Let me find other options.
No, Mariana,
thanks for your suggestions.
Let me tell you the wedding
we want.
Yes.
A simple wedding, beers, music.
- Yeah, yeah. I remember, Luis.
- Fairy lights.
- In your restaurant, right?
- Noted. So...
Poochi.
Flowers are fundamental
in a love story
because they represent
the couple's fertility.
That's why it's important
for you to touch them,
smell them,
and especially, talk to them.
Talk to them!
Talk to them!
Oh, damn.
Okay.
Hello?
Flower?
I'm getting married, flower.
So I'd like to invite you to
my wedding.
Would you like to come?
What?
Oh, sure, sure. Of course.
They want to talk to you, Lu.
- Me?
- Yeah, they said so.
Ah.
Dear flower,
of course you can come
to our wedding.
Besides, you can bring
your partner!
- You can feel the...
- Yeah, you can.
So now that my buddy Luis
is tying the knot,
let's delight him with
a beautiful song.
Yes, sir!
Rah!
The New Sound Orchestra.
You'll never find
Someone like me
No one who loves you like me
Until I die
Nobody will love you like me
No one to bring
The stars and sky for you
With beams of passion
That's it, you can fall in love
But not even a thousand kisses
Will put off the eternal fire
Burning in your heart
You said you found love
You lie, you lie, you lie
Because I'll always be
Part of your life
I'm so sorry
For your next victim
Everything you and I did
Life itself transformed you
Woman, don't try to erase it
You say he treats you well
That he has conquered you
Your friends have said new love
Takes your mind off the old one
But let's be serious,
Let's be clear
Nobody has reached
The depths of your soul
Closed case
You said you found love
But you lie, you lie, you lie
And you even say you regret
Our time together
I can see miles away
That's not true
And now when you talk about me
You only pay lip service
To your words
And upload photos pretending
You hold him in one and you
dance with him in the other
You dance with your friends
But I haven't seen anywhere
The after party
These might look good together,
don't you think?
Bride?
- Let's go. I have to go.
- Yes, I know.
You only need your love dance.
Oh, no, we can do that
some other time, Poochi.
Bad mood is usual.
It happens all the time.
I see it every day.
No, the thing is we don't have
a song yet.
What? "The Funeral March,"
"Bad Decisions,"
"Not in Love."
Poochi.
Listen, dumb-ass,
you said it'd be just an hour.
I can't spend all my day
with you.
Talk to Ramona.
Tell her you're with me.
She'll understand.
No, no, no,
I want to be punctual.
I want to be cool,
and I like her.
Stop fucking around!
Yeah, let's wait for her to
find out you're engaged, Poochi.
Fuck you, Poochi!
I'm joking.
- Hey!
- Hey!
Okay, I can't.
That's so hot.
Shut up!
You're an idiot.
What?
Am I still "Plumber" in
your phone?
No. Of course not,
why are you saying that?
I'm sure your sister wants you
to go back home.
No. Mariana is always
super busy
with a guy,
or with many, in an orgy.
I'm so happy for her.
Because Luis and Lucia
spend all day...
Lots of noise.
What is it?
I was given a scholarship.
What scholarship?
I applied for a two-year
Master's
in Vancouver,
and they've offered it to me.
It's a super,
super cool university.
That's good. Congratulations.
That's good.
So, when are you leaving?
Soon, very soon.
Well, let's celebrate, then.
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
So, can you keep another
secret for me, sir?
So many secrets with you.
My lips are sealed.
Are they? How sealed?
So, do you get good tips?
Now that you mention it,
the more they throw up,
the better the tips.
And they kinda grow fond of you
when you look after them
while they're drunk
and help them with their
heartbreaks,
so they always come back.
Thanks for waiting for me.
And miss out on your smile?
Hey, but this residence thing
is very tricky.
You can say you're very Mexican
without knowing
the national anthem.
Actually, I wanted to tell you
my method
to get the residence.
They're vegan.
They taste like shit.
Some vegan cakes can be amazing.
I don't even know why
you're doing this.
- Hey, Dioni.
- Hey.
- Where's Luis?
- There.
Hey, Ale.
Hey, Luis's friend.
Mary, why are you here?
No, no, no, no,
the tasting is in two hours.
- We said 12.
- No, we said 2 p.m.
We said 12, Luis.
No, I wrote 14.
14 p.m.
Okay, since you never read
what I text.
- I wrote down 14.
- It's okay.
Hey, we haven't met.
I'm Mariana, nice to meet you.
Hi, I'm Ramona.
I'm...
Lucia's best friend.
Ah!
What's with those desserts?
What? Luis?
You didn't tell your fiance?
No, it's just that...
It was a surprise, right?
- It was a surprise.
- Surprise.
Surprise!
Okay, let's do this.
- May I help?
- Leave it to me.
- Just tell me where to go.
- Here.
So, what do you think?
It's very trendy.
Vegan, slash, bittersweet,
slash,
traditional, Mexican.
Slash, are there other options?
We could go for something
more classic.
But these ones are awesome
because they use
the water that's left
after cooking the chickpeas,
instead of egg.
It sounds super healthy.
PLUMBER: YOU DENIED ME
LIKE PETER TO OUR LORD
It has loads of sugar.
Can you pass me the spoon?
Sure, Lucia's friend.
ALE: LUCIA'S FRIEND?
LUIS: YOU LOVE TIRAMISU.
Could we try my tiramisu?
It's an option.
Oh, is it? Yeah.
I love tiramisu, Mary.
You also want tiramisu?
Okay.
Okay.
MARIANA: MY CAKE!
HE'S A PSYCHOPATH!
You know what?
Can we invite your mom?
I mean, you know Elena and I
have always been like family.
- You don't mind, my love?
- No, no, Poochi.
If it matters to you,
it matters to me.
Besides, Mary is like
a little sister to you now.
Mariana.
Sure, we can invite her.
- No problem.
- I'm glad.
Well...
So, should we try the tiramisu?
Oh, you had it already prepared!
Let's see.
It's so good!
It has like an essence...
is it orange?
Right, exactly.
The thing is I was making
a tiramisu once
and Mariana came,
do you remember?
She dropped all
the orange essence
and it tasted amazing.
It's funny, don't you think?
Sometimes you screw something up
and things turn out
to be amazing.
I mean, it was a cake.
It's not "The" tiramisu.
Yeah.
DIONI: GET REVENGE
WITH A KISS.
Okay, then.
Well,
so?
The godfather goes for the tiramisu.
Yeah, I love tiramisu.
I think tiramisu
is the best choice
because Luis always makes
it good.
The bride votes for tiramisu.
Say no more.
We've made a decision.
Tiramisu it is.
- Sure.
- Yes.
Do you do this
for all the weddings?
Yeah, brides love it.
I see.
And do the grooms come?
I mean, Poochi
would've loved to come.
I know, but I'd like to get
to know you more.
Luis is my friend,
and I care for him.
And he's kind of obsessed
with weddings
so I'm concerned.
I don't know. Your face
tells me
you don't like weddings
so much, Mary.
You know what?
I used to love them,
but you eventually find out
people get married
to pay less for the rent,
because their moms forced them,
because there's a kid coming,
and then I saw myself,
every day,
trying to persuade these people
to love each other.
Of course, that happens for those
who don't love each other,
unlike you and Luis.
But they always say they love
each other,
so how do you know it's serious?
That's the point.
You don't know.
That's a terrible point.
Only your dress is missing.
Let's go!
No!
Hey, hold on, wait!
- No, this is too tight.
- It'll fit you!
No, Mary.
I was thinking
of something simpler.
No, but it was original.
It was good.
Quique, did you use
the measurements I sent you?
Yeah, of course.
Look, this is the most important
day of your life.
You must look divine.
Yeah, but if it doesn't fit,
that's it.
I mean, a skeleton isn't divine.
What can we do?
I don't want you to work out
to death to get in the dress.
Do you have your pills?
Of course.
Look, take one of these.
Maybe you're just
retaining water,
or it's the normal tummy
after eating.
- Of course.
- What is this?
Spirulina and cactus.
The worst thing that could happen
is over-stimulating your digestion.
Then, we get rid of the tummy
and the dress will fit you.
Let's take those pins.
I love taking the brides here.
This is where I get to know
them better.
If they order burritos,
they're boring.
Beef tacos,
they're daddy's girls.
And if they hate quesadillas,
they're mad.
Don't you want some?
Some juice?
- No, Mary, thanks.
- No, no.
I'll have another one, please.
Thanks.
Well, yeah. A papaya
and mango drink, please.
And...
Pork brains quesadilla, please.
Thanks.
Thanks.
Won't you take some for Luis?
They're his favorite,
you know that?
Yeah.
Mariana, Luis isn't obsessed
with weddings.
Luis wanted to get married,
but he wanted to marry you.
Because he's never loved anyone
the way he loved you.
And he wanted to celebrate it.
That's what weddings are for.
Did he say that?
Things weren't like that.
Well, I feel he really likes me.
But what you had was amazing.
It was amazing,
until he ruined it.
Surprise!
My love, my mom wanted...
Surprise, Lucia, my friend.
Ah.
Hi, Luis's family.
Last time we met,
it was... similar.
Very similar.
I give you this machete
as a symbol of Luis's strength
throughout his marriage.
Use to open a path
to your children.
Don't be in a hurry, okay?
Although,
a Luis Jr. or a Lucy
wouldn't be so bad.
Thanks.
I give you this mortar
so you can make Luis
some spicy salsas
and keep the spice in love
and have as many children
as God wills.
Oh, thanks.
Are you okay?
Yeah, yeah.
I give you these tools
to fix all the problems
in your relationship,
and this hammer
to destroy the hate,
and these nippers...
Chook-chook. To keep love together.
Thanks, auntie.
Thank you.
Can you call me auntie?
- I'm not feeling well.
- Lucy?
- Ah!
- I'm going with you.
I think she's nervous.
- Yeah, sure.
- Yeah, sure. It's normal.
Can I help you with...?
- Careful! That's my bag!
- Bring toilet paper and a bucket!
- Do you need it, girls?
- Lucy!
Are you okay?
Mom!
What is it, Mom?
I'm getting married.
- What?
- Wow!
- I'm getting married.
- Okay, you too.
I don't know when,
but it's a promise.
I asked Epi.
I'm glad, Mom.
Congratulations.
Epi is super cool,
and we're happy for you.
Right, Mariana?
Mom, listen.
Can we do an activity?
I just need to understand.
From 1 to 100,
how much do you love Epi?
Sweetie, sometimes a 100,
sometimes 1.
- Love is a journey.
- Yes.
You decide who will be
your passenger.
- Epi is the one.
- Sure, the one.
Like the guy who kicked you out
of your apartment?
- Girl...
- Mariana.
Or the guy for whom you left us
to move to Reynosa,
for how many years, Ale?
No, Mariana,
I won't be part of this.
Sometimes you win,
sometimes you lose.
That's love.
You're old enough.
Mom, we just want you
to be happy.
We mean it.
Mom, when can we tell you
you're fucking it up?
Or we're not allowed because
you changed our diapers?
Don't you see you've done this
all your life?
You don't know how to be
on your own, Mom.
You're afraid of commitment.
You can't keep a boyfriend.
You couldn't keep us!
- Girl, stop!
- Stop what, Alejandra?
If it wasn't for our grandparents,
where would we be?
On the street, right?
Ah!
Own up
and align your chakras,
dear Mariana.
Don't call me that!
You own up, Mom!
You know what?
Do whatever you want.
But don't expect me
to celebrate.
I think Mariana wants
to be alone, Mom.
Let's go.
Oh, for fuck's sake!
You'll feel better.
You'll see.
What a mess we made yesterday!
Now, let's kill it
on the dancefloor.
Are you ready?
Ah, yes. I've practiced
my best moves.
No, Luis. I'm not feeling good.
Mariana wanted to kill me yesterday
with her cactus pills
and her wicked hatred.
It's just a dance,
and it'll be over.
No, dude.
I don't want to do it.
- Ah, you don't want to.
- No.
You don't want to.
I didn't want to clean the mess
you left in the bathroom,
but I did it.
That was part of the deal.
Come on, you can piss off later
if you want.
We say bye. Bye! Come on.
What about all the times
you threw up in my bar?
What about that?
- Disgusting.
- It's a bar.
Okay.
He's right. Let's go.
No.
Luis can talk to Mariana.
They can handle it like adults.
That's none of your business.
Yeah, it is your business.
Dancing, especially.
- Come.
- Listen, Luis.
Listen, you know that
after the wedding
you'll never see her again.
Of course, that's the point.
Now, we can call it off
if you want.
Goodbye, wedding.
And you go back to Colombia.
No. No.
- We have the cake figurines.
- Right.
I can't believe it.
You two sound like kids.
I thought I could put up
with this... but I can't...
What?
- No, I'm fucking done!
- Wait.
- What?
- Babe!
We made a deal.
Babe, don't go!
I'm sorry.
I don't know what's going on.
Don't worry.
- Hey, sorry.
- Finally.
Lucia can't come.
She's not feeling well.
Maybe nervousness. I don't know.
Maybe she's getting cold feet.
What? No.
She's a good person.
So, can I see the steps?
Then I'll learn them
and teach her.
- Are they the ones you sent me?
- Yeah, the same three steps.
- Here's the music.
- Let's play it, and then you leave.
Yeah.
Do it together, please.
- What?
- Yeah, you two.
- Yeah.
- Let's go.
Our song?
- You're fucking kidding me, Luis!
- What?
- You're fucking kidding me!
- It's a song.
Okay, let's begin.
So, fan...
Snake...
Chest, chest.
Horse riding.
Flow, flow.
Buddha.
Egyptian.
- Hold him!
- What?
Hold him.
Okay, here comes the kiss,
but well, not now.
No.
- Yeah, I think...
- No.
Well, I'll teach Lucia.
Don't come, please.
So, what do you think?
It was good, right?
I can picture myself
riding the horse in the party.
Do you have any plans?
I'd like you to taste
the wedding's menu.
So we'd have to go
to the restaurant.
But I don't know if
you want... can...
- Sure.
- Sounds good?
Thanks, but
Ale is waiting for me.
Guess what?
My mom is getting married again.
No.
It's okay, don't worry.
You have a more important
wedding at the moment.
No problem, I understand.
Okay, let's go.
Yeah, let's go.
Oh, fuck!
It's...
There.
Almost there.
Here we are.
Please, come in.
As you can see,
I haven't done much.
Except for the menu, of course.
But the rest
still needs your help.
I couldn't give it
any other name.
Right?
Don't be so full of yourself,
but this fucking muffin
tastes so good.
Why?
You can't say a tiramisu
is a muffin. No.
Forgive me, forgive me, please.
Enlighten me with your
bakery knowledge.
Because you studied in...?
Where did you study?
In Paris?
Oui, Oui.
- Where?
- Je studied at the "bakerie,"
- Oui, Oui.
- The "cakerie..."
Oui, Oui.
Thanks.
Thanks for planning my wedding.
For dancing with me.
For this. Thanks.
Let's toast to the...
to your restaurant,
which I'm sure will be
a success.
Not as much as if it were
our restaurant.
But cheers.
Cheers.
Your mom is getting married,
right?
Again.
Why can't she be like
your parents?
How have they managed to love
each other for years?
I have no idea.
I've wondered that so many times.
I have no idea.
I'm scared,
that my life will turn into this.
My mom fails, Ale fails,
I fail.
We hold each other.
Was it that?
- It was that, wasn't it?
- Luis.
Do you want more tiramisu?
Luis.
What?
Where are they?
Where are my clothes?
Wait, Mariana.
- Hey, I think...
- Here, wear this.
I think...
I should go, Luis.
- Why?
- What do you mean "why"?
No.
Okay, wait.
Please, wait.
Wait, Mariana.
- Listen, please.
- I want to go!
Listen!
Lucia and I...
Oh, don't mention Lucia now.
Please, Luis.
I don't love Lucia!
I'll call off the wedding with her
and marry you.
You didn't get a thing,
right, Luis?
What didn't I get?
Weren't you going to dance
our song in your wedding?
Are you a psycho? Or what, Luis?
- Excuse me? A psycho?
- Yes.
May I remind you who thought
of planning
this whole wedding thing?
Psycho?
Of course I wanted
to dance my song,
- Your song?
- In the wedding only I wanted.
- It was our song, Luis.
- Only I wanted it!
Our song
and my wedding, by myself.
Perfect, if our song works
for your plan B,
dance our song with your plan B.
How do you know you weren't
my plan B?
Luis, you only want
to marry anyone.
- No matter what.
- With you.
I didn't want to get married,
and you knew it,
and you asked me
and fucked it up.
- That's clear.
- And fucked up everything we had.
But you know what?
I left you the restaurant.
- Ah, you left me the restaurant?
- Yes.
- Thanks.
- Life goes on, get married!
I'm getting married.
I'm getting married.
Get married and have
your fucking wedding!
Sure, thank you very much.
Fuck!
Ah, I'm so stupid!
Oh, shit!
Hey, Ma'am, Miss, Mariana.
How was your dance?
Hey, Dioni.
Nice to see you.
Okay. You should go.
There's a crisis.
Goodbye, gorgeous.
I don't care if he's your boyfriend,
but why are you hiding him?
I'm not hiding him.
Sometimes I don't tell you things
because, as always,
your problems are priority.
There are more things you need
to tell me, besides you dating him.
I'm not dating him.
I just hate your lectures.
- Okay.
- Okay.
I just think your life
hasn't been good lately.
Oh, fuck!
You're fucking kidding me, Mariana!
Are you serious?
It's great, isn't it?
It's great that I'm always
the one with issues.
My life is perfect.
I don't have issues.
You're the one with the issues.
You're the one planning a wedding
for an asshole who's over you!
He's over you, Mariana!
If you're so sure,
why are you living in my house?
Ah, I'm glad
we're thinking the same.
- I'm leaving.
- Go on!
I'm leaving. You know what?
I hope you're happy
because I'm leaving
far, far away for a while.
That sounds perfect.
What...?
Shit, did you get
the scholarship? Ale!
I don't understand him.
I don't understand Ale.
I don't understand my mom.
I don't get why everyone
is against me now.
Then she said it's her house.
Then why did she let me stay?
- Well, Ale, I think...
- What's next, Mom?
I can't eat there?
I can't shower? What?
She kicked me out,
as if I was undesired.
And if I know something,
if I'm sure about something,
it's that I'm a very
desired person.
I hate them! I hate them!
I hate her!
I hate her!
I don't, you know?
No.
No, from now on, Mariana is over.
It's done.
It's over.
You were right.
This is the cleverest shit
I've ever done.
I met the true Mariana,
and I don't want her.
You're right.
What is it?
Did you fix your thing with Ramona?
No, she left me.
I liked that girl.
And I think she liked me too.
But well, I have priorities.
Don't tell me it was my fault.
Yeah, basically, buddy.
It is complicated to show
someone you love them
when you're marrying
somebody else.
But well, this will be over
in two days.
Cheers.
Are you okay?
Ale will be in charge of the flowers
and the DJ will be here
at ten to set everything up.
The judge will be here at six,
and Luis will bring the tiramisu.
Girl, why did you give him
the ring back?
Because I never wanted to get
married, and he knew it.
I was never sure,
and then I saw myself,
standing there like an idiot,
in the middle of everything
he was arranging.
And what did you want?
I didn't want to suffer,
and I didn't want him
to suffer either.
Ah, that's good, then.
So good, because you know what?
Right now, none of you
is suffering.
Great,
you made a great decision.
Mariana, from all the people
who come here,
imagine about...
how many do you think are sure
they want to get married?
I don't know.
Not even one.
But what's our job?
Make them believe
they love each other
and charge them a lot of money?
Listen, darling,
nobody knows if they'll be happy
in the future.
And that's okay, right?
Let people believe
they can be happy.
No.
Sorry, I didn't want to hurt you
this way.
It wasn't my intention...
To get this far.
That's why I'm here, before you,
my best friend,
well, before you two.
Now you'll taste the most
romantic,
most delicious meal I've made.
But first,
some wine of forgiveness.
To forgive each other.
Ramona,
I've never seen Lucia
so happy with someone.
I mean it.
This was all my fault.
I started this mess
and now I'm doing it
for her own happiness.
Yeah, I did it for our happiness.
For our possible future.
I mean, possible,
not certain, but possible.
But still you're getting married.
Yeah, but we're ending this
on the weekend, right, Luis?
Absolutely.
That's right!
You didn't even try
the wine of forgiveness.
Thanks, Luis.
If you need a bartender,
call me.
No, actually,
if you need a cook,
let me know, because I need
to sell this place.
Just like that, Luis?
This was your dream.
No, it was our dream.
Mariana's and mine.
I can't do it on my own.
This is yours.
Thank you.
Bon apptit.
Are you ready for your trip?
So should we break up
officially?
We never dated officially.
Of course. This makes things
simpler, right?
Did you tell Luis about me?
No.
See? There you go.
Everything was good and...
What's happening to us?
So awkward.
Not everything was so awkward,
was it?
Not so much.
Ale, what if we hang out until
you leave?
I can help you pack
a few canned peppers,
sauces, frozen tortillas.
Do you want flowers?
I can run after the plane,
and that's it,
you live happily ever after.
No, I mean, the plane thing
was a joke.
I know it's not possible.
I'm leaving.
See you sometime.
Well,
goodbye.
I liked us being
each other's secret.
Thank you.
Will you forgive me?
What I told you wasn't cool,
and wasn't my intention.
It's just that...
I don't know what I want.
You know.
You don't want to be afraid.
You're never afraid.
Where were you?
What if I get too cold?
What if I miss my tortillas
and screw everything up?
And you can't do anything
without me.
This girl...
Hi.
Hi, sister.
I'm sorry, sister.
Forgive me.
Oh, I'm gonna miss you so much.
These are some of the weddings
we've planned,
and this one, this one,
this one,
and this one
ended up in a divorce.
I don't want Luis
to go through that.
I've never understood why
I do this for a living.
I think I used to think I could
understand the couples,
their love,
and so I could plan the perfect
wedding for them,
but the truth is I can't.
For that reason, this will be
my last wedding.
It's amazing, Mariana.
You also deserve happiness.
Let's sign it, and it's over.
Luis, are you sure you want me
to keep the rings?
I'm very nervous about
keeping them.
Why me?
Relax, breathe.
You're the godfather.
Look how beautiful she looks.
What?
But that's not the dress.
No way.
Is that the dress?
What do you mean, Luis?
A white dress, the wedding.
Fucking Mariana!
Hey.
There was a mistake.
My sister is sending you this.
- Ah!
- Uh, no.
No, you know what?
This one kinda grew on me.
I feel fantastic.
Okay, sounds good.
Babe.
Attention, everyone.
I need to make a confession.
I've been having consensual
and affective
sexual intercourse
with Alejandra.
Dioni.
And these were the most beautiful
weeks of my life.
But well,
Ale is in a very
important mission.
I'll treasure the memories
of this sweet love
that grew between us.
- I love you.
- I love you too.
There's no time to waste.
Hey?
My best friend is getting married.
Congratulations!
Thank you.
Good evening to the newlyweds,
their family and friends.
We're about to start the ceremony
to legally bind you,
Lucia and Luis.
Are you doing this of your
own free will, Luis and Lucia?
LuiCia.
Do you wish to
get married today?
- That's right.
- Good.
Please, bring the rings.
Oh, of course.
Oh, no!
Ah! Here.
Before continuing the ceremony
I have to ask
does anyone here oppose
to the union of these two people?
All right. Let's proceed
to the ring exchange.
In the end you realize
the only thing that matters
are the smiles,
the moments you share,
the support you give each other.
Please.
When you find true love,
you have no option
but to take a leap and scream...
I love you.
Oh, no.
Please, follow me, sir,
your Majesty.
We trust blindly
in this country's laws.
- Come on, quick!
- What did I just say?
Mariana what did you do?
What are you saying?
- What did you say?
- Nothing.
Nothing.
No, don't give me that look.
It's okay. It's all cool.
- What did you say?
- I just want you to be happy.
What did you say?
Lucia?
Take care of him.
Well, I was on my way out.
I'm leaving.
I love you, Ale.
I love you, Mom.
I love you, Luis's aunt.
I love you, Luis.
I'm leaving.
Yes.
No, Mariana, hold on.
I love you, Lucia.
What?
What's going on?
I fucked it up from
the very beginning.
What do you mean you fucked it up?
You were wrong.
- Yeah, I...
- Oh, no. I knew it.
- I wanted to annoy you.
- You're a psycho liar.
- Yes, I'm a psycho, a liar,
- What's wrong with you?
And asshole. Yes.
- You made a huge mess.
- I'm an asshole, an asshole.
But I love you.
I love you.
- Sorry.
- Yes.
I love you, Mariana, so much.
Me too.
- I still don't want to get married.
- That's okay.
I don't want to live thinking
that the best day of our lives
has passed.
No, nobody wants to get married.
Who wants to get married?
Do I want to get married?
No.
You should've thought about that
before doing this.
I'm sorry.
The best days of our lives...
can they happen anytime
in the future?
Every day.
Can we start today?
Okay, yes.
Besides, if we don't get married,
we can't get a divorce.
Oh, shut up!
Dear, beautiful audience,
give it up for the newlyweds.
Oh, I mean,
I mean, the couples,
the girlfriends,
the lifetime lovers. Damn!
What a night! What a night!
H-H-H-He-Hey.
This is D-D-D-D-J Dioni,
livening up the best parties.
Now I'm gonna leave you
with a hit
to warm things up, yes, sir.
It's not bad to be your plan B.
Really?
Not bad, right?
What now?
Now we need certificates,
buying tables, chairs, lights,
and go into a shit ton of debt.
Well,
in the meantime... Tiramisu?
Forever.