Cats (2019) Movie Script
1
[engine stops]
[hissing]
Are you blind when you're born?
Can you see in the dark?
Can you look at a king?
Would you sit on his throne?
Can you say of your bite
That it's worse than your bark?
Are you cock of the walk
When you're walking alone?
-When you fall on your head
-[whimpers]
Do you land on your feet?
[sniffs]
Are you tense when you sense
There's a storm in the air?
Can you find your way blind
When you're lost in the street?
Do you know how to go
To the Heaviside Layer?
Because Jellicles can and Jellicles do
Jellicles do and Jellicles can
Jellicles can and Jellicles do
Jellicles do and Jellicles can
Jellicles can and Jellicles do
Can you ride on a broomstick
To places far distant?
Familiar with candle
-With book
-And with bell?
Were you Whittington's friend?
The Pied Piper's assistant?
Have you been an alumnus
Of heaven or hell?
Are you mean like a minx?
Are you lean like a lynx?
Are you keen to be seen
When you're smelling a rat?
Were you there when the pharaohs
Commissioned the Sphinx?
If you were and you are
You're a Jellicle cat
Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats
Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats
Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats
Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats
Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats
We can dive through the air
Like a flying trapeze
We can turn double somersaults
Bounce on a tire
We can run up a wall
We can swing through the trees
We can balance on bars
We can walk on a wire
Jellicles can and Jellicles do
Jellicles can and Jellicles do
Jellicles can and Jellicles do
Jellicles can and Jellicles do
Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats
Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats
Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats
Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats
Can you sing at the same time
In more than one key?
Duets by Rossini
And waltzes by Strauss
Ah-ah-ah, ah-ah
And can you, as cats do
Begin with a "C"
[high note]
That always triumphantly
Brings down the house?
Jellicle cats are queens of the night
Singing at astronomical heights
Handling pieces from the Messiah
Hallelujah, angelical choir
The mystical divinity
Of unashamed felinity
Round the cathedral
Rang "Vivat"
Life to the Everlasting
Cat!
Feline, fearless, faithful and true
To others who do
What
Jellicles do and Jellicles can
Jellicles can and Jellicles do
Jellicle cats sing Jellicle chants
Jellicles old and Jellicles new
Jellicle song and Jellicle dance
Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats
Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats
Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats
Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats
Practical cats
Dramatical cats
Pragmatical cats
Fanatical cats
Oratorical cats
Delphicoracle cats
Skeptical cats
Dyspeptical cats
Romantical cats
Pedantical cats
Critical cats
Parasitical cats
Allegorical cats, metaphorical cats
-Statistical cats
-And mystical cats
Political cats
Hypocritical cats
-Clerical cats
-Hysterical cats!
Cynical cats
Rabbinical cats
And magical cats!
Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats
Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats
Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats
Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats
[singing alone]
Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats...
[gasps]
[Macavity] Going to the ball?
I wouldn't if I were you.
Could get dangerous.
You know, they say
Macavity will win this year.
Macavity?
There's no one like Macavity
A wonderful magician.
But a monster of depravity
One moment you see him...
Come on!
[whispers] Magic!
[laughing]
So, what's your name?
[hissing]
Cat got your tongue?
-Victoria.
-Victoria?
You must have another.
Another?
The naming of cats
Is a difficult matter
It isn't just one
Of your holiday games
You may think at first
I'm as mad as a hatter
When I tell you a cat must have
Three different names
First of all, there's the name
That the family use daily
-Such as:
-Peter
-Augustus
-Alonzo
Or James
But I tell you a cat
Needs a name that's particular
A name that's peculiar
And more dignified
Else how can he keep up
His tail perpendicular
Or spread out his whiskers
Or cherish his pride?
But above and beyond
There's still one name left over
And that is the name
That you never will guess
The name that
No human research can discover
But the cat herself knows
And will never confess
When you notice a cat
In profound meditation
The reason, I tell you
Is always the same:
Her mind is engaged
In a rapt contemplation
Of the thought
Of the thought
Of the thought
Of her name
Her ineffable, effable, effanineffable
Deep and inscrutable
Singular name, name, name, name
Name, name, name, name
Name, name, name, name
Mr. Mistoffelees, the magical cat!
Jellicle cats come out tonight
Jellicle cats, come one, come all
The Jellicle moon is shining bright
Jellicles come to the Jellicle Ball
Jellicle cats come out tonight
Je--
Jellicles come to the... [grunts]
Jellicle Ball
Jellicle cats meet once a year
At the Jellicle Ball
Where we all rejoice
And the Jellicle leader
Will soon appear
And make what is known
As the Jellicle choice
When Old Deuteronomy just before dawn
Through a silence
You feel you could cut with a knife
Announces the cat
Who can now be reborn
And come back
To a different Jellicle life
For waiting up there
Is the Heaviside Layer
Full of wonders
One Jellicle only will see
And Jellicles ask
Because Jellicles dare
Who will it be?
[Jellicles] Who will it be?
The Heaviside Layer?
Far, far up in the sky.
From where the most deserving cat
will be reborn into another life.
So they can be
who they've always dreamed of being.
How will they be chosen?
By singing the song
of themselves, of course.
Who they are and what they do.
Come.
Come and see a cat who's competing
to be the Jellicle choice tonight.
I have a Gumbie Cat in mind
-Her name is Jennyanydots
-[yawns]
Her coat is of the tabby kind
With tiger stripes and leopard spots
All day she sits upon the stair
-Or on the step or on the mat
-[grunting]
She sits and sits and sits and sits
And that's what makes a Gumbie Cat
That's what makes a Gumbie Cat
[grunting]
But...
When the day's hustle and bustle
Is done
Then the Gumbie Cat's work
Is but hardly begun
And when all the family's
In bed and asleep
I tuck up my skirts
To the basement to creep
I am deeply concerned
With the ways of the mice
Their behavior's not good
And their manners not nice
So when I have got them
Lined up on the matting
I teach them music
Crocheting and tatting
Diddly-dot, diddly-dot
Diddly-dot, whap-whoo
Diddly-dot, diddly-dot
Diddly-dot, whap-whoo
Diddly-dot, diddly-dot
Diddly-dot, whap-whoo
[scatting]
-Woodly-wah, woodly-wah
-It's dinner and a show.
Woodly-wah, woodly-wah
Woodly-wah, wah-wah
A-dooby-dooby-doo
A-diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly
[scatting]
-[trap snaps]
-Aaah!
[mice giggling]
[Munkustrap]
I have a Gumbie Cat in mind
Her name is Jennyanydots
The curtain cord she likes to wind
-And tie it into sailor knots
-[groaning]
She sits upon the windowsill
Or anything that's smooth and flat
She sits and sits and sits and sits
[grunts]
And that's what makes a Gumbie Cat!
That's what makes a Gumbie Cat!
But...
When the day's hustle and bustle
Is done
Then the Gumbie Cat's work
Is but hardly begun
I think that the cockroaches
Need employment
To prevent them from idle
And wanton destroyment
So I formed from that lot
Of disorderly louts
A troop of well-disciplined
Helpful boy scouts
With a purpose in life
And a good deed to do
And I've even created
A Beetles' Tattoo!
[rhythmic drumbeat]
[Jennyanydots] Cockroaches!
Faces!
Mmm.
And now for the icing on the cake.
Why does she want another Jellicle life?
I can't keep being in this kitchen.
Don't get cocky!
Ha-ha!
So for Old Gumbie Cats
Let's now give three cheers
On whom well-ordered households depend
It appears
Three cheers, three cheers
Three cheers
Thank you, my dears
[song ends]
[Rum Tum Tugger] Meow.
Hmm?
It's a little old-fashioned,
don't you think?
With the cockroaches dancing
and the mice singing.
Well, actually, the mice were really good.
[giggling]
But it's all a bit old-school.
Get out.
I'm just trying
to offer you some feedback here.
Well, a--
Well, actually, I just thought
I'd have a feed at the back.
Get out of this kitchen now.
Let's dance!
-The Rum Tum Tugger is a curious cat
-A curious cat
[both grunting rhythmically]
Hmm. Hmm.
If you offer me pheasant
I'd rather have grouse
If you put me in a house
I would much prefer a flat
If you put me in a flat
Then I'd rather have a house
If you set me on a mouse
Then I only want a rat
[squealing] No, no!
If you set me on a rat
Then I'd rather chase a mouse
Thanks, Tugger!
[Jellicles]
The Rum Tum Tugger is a curious cat
And there isn't any call
For me to shout it
[Jellicles] For he will do as he do do
And there's no doing anything about it
No!
The Rum Tum Tugger is a terrible bore
When you let me in then I wanna go out
I'm always on the wrong side
Of every door
As soon as I get home
Then I like to get about
I like to lie in a bureau drawer
But I make such a fuss
If I can't get out
-Ooh!
-Do you think he just got neutered?
'Cause those notes are, like--
[high voice] high.
[chuckling] You know...
The Rum Tum Tugger is a curious cat
[grunts] And there isn't any use
For you to doubt it
-Lights.
-For he will do as he do do
And there's no doing anything
About-awow-awow it
I can dance how he dances too.
-Look.
-[Munkustrap] Let me see.
It's easy.
The Rum Tum Tugger is a curious beast
My disobliging ways
Is a matter of habit
Hey there.
If you offer me fish
Then I always want a feast
When there isn't any fish
Well, darling, I'm not having rabbit
If you offer me cream
Then I sniff and sneer
For I only like...
What I find for myself
Uh!
-Victoria
-[Jellicles sighing]
Stop milking it.
So, you'll catch me in it
Right up to my ears
If you put it away on the larder shelf
Whoo!
The Rum Tum Tugger
Is artful and knowing
The Rum Tum Tugger
Doesn't care for a cuddle
But I'll leap up in your lap
In the middle of your sewing
For there's nothing I enjoy
Like a horrible muddle
Yeah!
[bell dinging]
The Rum Tum Tugger is a curious cat
The Rum Tum Tugger
Doesn't care for a cuddle
Nah, nah. No more milk.
Milk!
Whoo!
The Rum Tum Tugger is a curious cat
And there isn't any need
For me to spout it
For he will do as he do do
And there's no
Doing anything
About
About
Wow.
There's no doing anything, yeah
About
[meowing]
About it
[laughing]
[hissing]
Remark the cat
Who hesitates towards you
In the light of the door
Which opens on her
Like a grin
You see the border of her coat
Is torn and stained with sand
And you see
The corner of her eye
Twist like a crooked pin
And--
She haunted many a low resort
Near the grimy road of Tottenham Court
She flitted about the no-man's land
From the Rising Sun
To the Friend At Hand
And the postman sighed
As he scratched his head
You'd really have thought
She'd ought to be dead
And who'd have ever supposed that that
Was Grizabella
The glamour cat
Grizabella the glamour cat
Grizabella the glamour cat
Who'd have ever
Supposed that that
[hisses]
Was Grizabella
The glamour cat
[breathing shakily]
[Victoria] Who was she?
She used to be the star of the Windmill.
Then she went with Macavity.
[Cassandra]
Now she lives on the wasteland.
[heavy footsteps]
Good evening, all.
Meow!
Oh, no. Look what the cat dragged in.
Oh, my. You look absolutely starving.
You can't attend the ball
on an empty stomach.
So you're hoping to be chosen?
Yeah. He wants to be reborn as a thin cat
so he can get fat all over again.
But he's going to lose!
How dare you! Don't listen to her.
Don't you listen to him
because he is a complete and utter bas--
I'm Bustopher Jones
I'm not skin and bones
In fact, I'm remarkably fat
I don't haunt pubs
I have eight or nine clubs
For I'm the St. James's Street cat
I'm the cat they all greet
As I walk down the street
In my coat of fastidious black
No commonplace mousers
Have such well-cut trousers
Or such an impeccable back
Yeah, you've got it. Here we go. Ha-ha!
Ready?
Whoo!
'Scuse me.
Are you by any chance Jennyanydots?
[chuckles] Yes.
You know, your work
should be on the world stage.
Yes.
And that face should be on a poster.
Meow!
In the whole of St. James's
The smartest of names is
-The name of this Brummell of cats
-[sipping]
And we're all of us proud
To be nodded or bowed to
By Bustopher Jones in white spats
[sighs]
My visits are occasional
To the Senior Educational
And it is against the rules
For any one cat to belong both to that
And the Joint Superior Schools
[inhales deeply]
For a similar reason
When game is in season
I'm found not at Fox's but Blimp's
Oh!
I am frequently seen
At the gay Stage and Screen
Which is famous
For winkles and shrimps
In the season of venison
I give my ben'son
To the Pothunter's succulent bones
And just before noon's
Not a moment too soon
[music stops]
Right. That's not going to work, is it?
Okay?
Look at you, and look at me,
and you know,
you know that I'm sensitive
about my size, okay?
And yet you embarrass me. [hisses]
That's what I say to you. [hisses]
Okay? Now, listen.
You'll never get me up there on your own.
So let's gather up a few more of the cats
and we'll try again, shall we?
Yeah. Okay. Nice and good.
Everybody ready?
And... Five, six, seven.
And just before noon's
Not a moment too soon
Hey!
Ooh! Gah!
Oh!
To drop in for a drink at the Dro...
Oh, oh, oh, ...ones
Thanks, Tugger.
When I'm seen in a hurry
There's probably curry
At the Siamese or at the Glutton
If I look full of gloom
Then I've lunched at the Tomb
On cabbage, rice pudding and mutton
In the whole of St. James's
The smartest of names is
The name of this Brummell of cats
And we're all of us proud
To be nodded or bowed to
By Bustopher Jones in white
Bustopher Jones in white
Bustopher Jones in white spats
Yaah! Ha-ha! Hoo-hoo!
[laughing]
So, much in this way
Passes Bustopher's day
At one club
Or another I'm found
It can be no surprise
That under our eyes
He has grown unmistakably round
I'm a 25 pounder or I am a bounder
And I'm putting on weight every day
But I'm so well preserved
Because I've observed
All my life a routine and I'd say
I am still in my prime
I shall last out my time
That's the word
From the stoutest of cats
It must and it shall
Be spring in Pall Mall
While Bustopher Jones wears white
Bustopher Jones wears white
Bustopher Jones wears white
Spats?
Macavity!
[chuckles] Puss in Spats. I love it.
Hungry?
Look like you haven't eaten for days.
Go for it.
Look at it.
Smell it.
-Really tasty.
-[sniffing]
Well, come on, Puss in Spats.
You can do it.
Ha-ha!
Ineffable.
Can we help you?
You really shouldn't be out alone.
I'm not alone. I'm with my friends.
Friends?
Looks like they've run away and left you.
Don't worry.
We'll look after you.
Won't we?
Why don't you come inside?
Mungojerrie
And Rumpleteazer
We're a notorious couple of cats
As knockabout clowns
Quick-change comedians
Tightrope walkers
And acrobats
We have an extensive reputation
We make our home in Victoria Grove
This is merely our center of operation
For we are incurably given to rove
We are very well known
In Cornwall Gardens
In Launceston Place
And in Kensington Square
We have really
A little more reputation
Than a couple of cats
Can very well bear
No photos, right?
If the area window is found ajar
And the bedroom looks
Like a field of war
If a tile or two comes loose
On the roof
-Which presently fails to be waterproof
-[tiles clattering]
If the drawers are pulled out
From the bedroom chest
And you can't find
One of your winter vests
Or after supper one of the girls
Suddenly misses her Woolworth pearls
The family will say
"It's that horrible cat"
It was Mungojerrie
Or Rumpleteazer
And most of the time
They leave it at that
[laughing]
[giggles]
Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer
Have a very unusual gift of the gab
We're highly efficient
Cat burglars as well
And remarkably smart
At the smash-and-grab
[glass shatters]
We make our home in Victoria Grove
We have no regular occupation
We are plausible fellows
Who like to engage
A friendly policeman in conversation
Hello, police officer.
I bought these for her myself.
-You did what?
-Wait.
When the family assembles
For Sunday dinner
Their minds made up
That they won't get thinner
On Argentine joint
Potatoes and greens
Then the cook would appear
From behind the scenes
And say, in a voice
That is broken with sorrow
"I'm afraid you must wait
And have dinner tomorrow
For the joint
Has gone from the oven like that!"
Then the family will say
"It's that horrible cat"
It was Mungojerrie
Or Rumpleteazer
And most of the time
They leave it at that
Mungojerrie
And Rumpleteazer
Have a wonderful way
Of working together
And some of the time
You would say it was luck
And some of the time
You would say it was weather
We go through the house
Like a hurricane
And no sober person
Could take his oath
Was it Mungojerrie?
Or Rumpleteazer?
Or could you have sworn
That it might have been both?
And when you hear a dining-room smash
Or up from the pantry
There comes a loud crash
Or down from the library
There comes a loud ping
From a vase
That was commonly said to be Ming
Then the family will say
[Victoria]
"Now, which was which cat?"
It was Mungojerrie
And
Rumpleteazer
And there's nothing at all
To be done about that
[song ends]
[rumbling]
[dog barking]
[gasps, grunts]
[dog barking]
I'm coming, Victoria!
[grunting]
Don't worry! Stay there!
[dog barking louder]
[growling]
Here, doggy! Fetch!
I've been looking for you everywhere.
I thought you'd miss the arrival.
What arrival?
Of Old Deuteronomy.
[dog growling]
Oh!
-Where am I?
-[ship horn blows]
It seems we're on a barge
in the middle of the Thames.
What are you doing here?
I haven't got the faintest clue.
And I've lost all of my cockroaches.
I can't be on a barge
in the middle of the Thames.
I'm supposed to be going to the ball.
Oh, no. You're not going anywhere,
Puss in Spats.
I'm determined to win,
and I prefer my competition chained up.
Growltiger.
Keep 'em here.
Meow!
He's called me that twice now.
"Puss in Spats."
Like it's, sort of, a joke.
I rather like it. So the joke's on him.
Who are you?
Growltiger.
I'm a Bravo Cat, I travel on a barge
In fact I am the roughest cat
Who ever roamed at large
From Gravesend up to Oxford
I pursue my evil aims
Rejoicing in my title of
"The Terror of the Thames"
Right, no, see, that doesn't rhyme.
You can't just say "Taymes"
'cause it rhymes with "aims."
It's the River Thames.
-[whimpers] Ow!
-[Griddlebone giggles]
Okay, so, it's Growltiger, you say?
Yep. I think I've got it.
I think that's it.
I fully understand now who it is.
Thank you for telling me.
Where have you been?
Oh, it's mine.
Yet another trick that went wrong.
You're just in time
to see Old Deuteronomy.
Who is Old Deuteronomy?
Old Deuteronomy's lived a long time
She's a cat who has lived
Many lives in succession
She was famous in proverb
And famous in rhyme
A long while before
Queen Victoria's accession
Old Deuteronomy's lived many lives
You know, I am tempted to say 99
And her numerous progeny
Prospers and thrives
And the village is proud of her
In her decline
At the sight of that placid
And bland physiognomy
When she sits in the sun
On the vicarage wall
The oldest inhabitant croaks:
"Well, of all things
Can it be really?
Yes, no, ho, hi, oh, my eye!
My mind may be wandering
But I confess
I believe it is Old Deuteronomy!"
Well, of all things, can it be really?
Yes, no, ho, hi, oh, my eye!
My mind may be wandering
But I confess
I believe it is Old Deuteronomy!
Well, of all things, can it be really?
Yes, no, ho, hi, oh, my eye!
My mind may be wandering
But I confess
I believe it is Old Deuteronomy!
Well, of all things, can it be really?
Yes, no, ho, hi, oh, my eye!
My legs may be tottery, I must go slow
And be careful of Old Deuteronomy
Jellicle cats meet once a year
On the night
We make the Jellicle choice
And now the Jellicle leader is here
Jellicle cats can all rejoice!
-Who will it be?
-Who will it be?
Who will it be?
Jellicle cats come out tonight
Jellicle cats, come one, come all
The Jellicle moon is shining bright
Jellicles come to the Jellicle Ball
[Jellicles]
Jellicle cats are black and white
Jellicle cats are rather small
Jellicle cats are merry and bright
And pleasant to hear
When they caterwaul
[yowls]
Jellicle cats have cheerful faces
Jellicle cats have bright, black eyes
We like to practice
Our airs and graces
And wait for the Jellicle moon to rise
-Jellicle cats develop slowly
-Meow, meow, meow, meow!
Jellicle cats are not too big
Jellicle cats are roly-poly
We know how to dance
A gavotte and a jig
Until the Jellicle moon appears
We make our toilette
And take our repose
Jellicles wash behind their ears
Jellicles dry between their toes
Jellicle cats are white and black
Jellicle cats are of moderate size
Jellicles jump like a jumping jack
Jellicle cats have moonlit eyes
Jellicle cats are black and white
Jellicle cats, as we said, are small
If it happens to be a stormy night
We will practice
A caper or two in the hall
If it happens the sun
Is shining bright
You would say
We had nothing to do at all
We are resting
And saving ourselves to be right
For the Jellicle moon
And the Jellicle Ball!
Jellicle cats come out tonight!
Jellicle cats, come one, come all!
The Jellicle moon is shining bright
Jellicles come to the Jellicle Ball!
Jellicle cats come out tonight
Jellicle cats, come one, come all
The Jellicle moon is shining bright
Jellicles come to the Jellicle Ball
-[gasps]
-[rhythmic breathing]
[rhythmic breathing]
It's party time!
With your permission, of course.
[hissing]
[rhythmic breathing]
[all panting]
Silence
Not a sound from the pavement
Has the moon lost her memory?
She is smiling alone
In the lamplight
The withered leaves collect at my feet
And the wind
Begins to moan
Every streetlamp seems to beat
A fatalistic warning
Someone mutters
And the streetlamp gutters
And soon it will
Be morning
Memory
All alone in the moonlight
I can smile at the old days
I was beautiful then
I remember the time
I knew what happiness was
Let the memory
Live again
Follow me home
If you dare to
I wouldn't know
Where to lead you
Should I take chances
When no one took chances on me?
So I watch from the dark
Wait for my life to start
With no beauty in my memory
All that I wanted
Was to be wanted
Too young to wander London streets
Alone and haunted
Born into nothing
At least you have something
Something to cling to
Visions of dazzling rooms
I'll never get let into
And the memories were lost long ago
But at least you have beautiful ghosts
And so maybe my home
Isn't what I had known
What I thought it would be
But I feel so alive
With these phantoms of night
And I know that this life isn't safe
But it's wild and it's free
All that I wanted
Was to be wanted
I'll never wander London streets
Alone and haunted
Born into nothing
With them I have something
Something to cling to
I never knew I'd love this world
They let me into
And the memories were lost long ago
So I'll dance
With these beautiful ghosts
The memories were lost long ago
So I'll dance with these beautiful
Ghosts
The moments of happiness
We had the experience
But missed the meaning
And approach to the meaning
Restores the experience
In a different form
Beyond any meaning
We can assign to happiness
The past experience revived
In the meaning
Is not the experience of one life only
But of many generations
Not forgetting something
That is probably quite ineffable
Are you all right, my dear?
We haven't met before, have we?
No. I'm not from round here.
I was abandoned.
Oh, poor thing.
Would you like to see me
make the Jellicle choice?
Am I allowed?
Why wouldn't you be allowed?
I'm not a Jellicle.
Not yet, perhaps.
Come, we're about to begin.
[slurping]
Gus.
Gus, it's your call.
[exhales]
I just wanted to wish you jolly good luck.
I'm a tremendous fan of your work.
Hmm.
What's your name?
Mr. Mistoffelees.
I'm a magic cat, you see.
Oh.
-Do you ever get nervous?
-No, no.
It's all practice, practice, practice.
Then nothing can go wrong.
Touch wood.
I've never played The Egyptian before.
Gus the Theater Cat.
Cross paws.
Hmm.
Gus is the cat at the theater door
My name
As I ought to have told you before
Is really Asparagus
But that's such a fuss
To pronounce
That they usually call me just Gus
My coat's very shabby
I'm thin as a rake
And I suffer from palsy
Which makes my paws shake
Yet I was, in my youth
Quite the smartest of cats
Though no longer
A terror to mice or to rats
For I'm not the cat
That I was in my prime
Though my name was quite famous
They say, in my time
And whenever
I join my friends at their club
Which takes place at the back
Of the neighboring pub
I love to regale them
If someone else pays
With anecdotes drawn
From my palmiest days
For I once was a star
Of the highest degree
I have acted with Irving
[chuckles] I've acted with Tree
And I like to recall
My success on the halls
When the gallery
Once gave me seven catcalls
But my grandest creation
As I love to tell
Was Firefrorefiddle
The Fiend of the Fell
[screeches]
[laughing]
Ah.
Then if someone
Will give me a toothful of gin
I will tell how I once
Played a part in East Lynne
In a Shakespeare performance
I once walked on pat
When some actor
Suggested the need for a cat
And I say now, these kittens
They do not get trained
As we did in the days
When Victoria reigned
They do not get drilled
In a regular troupe
And they think it is smart
Just to jump through a hoop
And I say, as I scratch myself
With my claws
Well, the theater
Is certainly not what it was
These modern productions
Are all very well
But there's nothing to equal
From what I hear tell
That moment of mystery
When I made history
As Firefrorefiddle
The Fiend of the Fell
[thunderclap]
[thunderclaps]
-[song ends]
-[thunder fades]
[all meowing]
I could do it again, you know.
[sighs]
[Macavity] Bravo!
Bravo, Gus.
Could I trouble you for an autograph, sir?
[gasps]
To see Firefrorefiddle come alive tonight
was truly inspirational and scary.
Macavity! [laughing]
[Old Deuteronomy]
The next contestant is...
Skimbleshanks the Railway Cat.
Skimbleshanks the Railway Cat
The Cat of the Railway Train
There's a whisper down the line
At 11:39
When the Night Mail's ready to depart
Saying, "Skimble, where is Skimble?
Has he gone to hunt the thimble?
We must find him
Or the train can't start"
All the guards and all the porters
And the stationmaster's daughters
Would be searching high and low
Saying, "Skimble, where is Skimble?
For unless he's very nimble
Then the Night Mail just can't go"
At 11:42 with the signal overdue
And the passengers
All frantic to a man
That's when I would appear
And I'd saunter to the rear
I'd been busy in the luggage van
Then he gives one flash
Of his glass-green eyes
And the signal goes "All clear!"
And we're off at last
For the northern part
Of the Northern Hemisphere
[whistle blows]
Skimbleshanks the Railway Cat
Skimbleshanks the Railway Cat
Skimbleshanks, Skimbleshanks
Skimbleshanks the Railway Cat
The Cat of the Railway Train
You could say that by and large
It was me who was in charge
Of the Sleeping Car Express
From the driver and the guards
To the bagmen playing cards
I would supervise them all
More or less
I will watch you without winking
And I'll see what you are thinking
And it's certain
That I wouldn't approve
Of hilarity and riot
So the folk are very quiet
When Skimble is about and on the move
You can play no pranks
With Skimbleshanks
I'm a cat that cannot be ignored
So nothing goes wrong
On the Northern Mail
When Skimbleshanks is aboard
Oh, it's very pleasant
When you've found your little den
With your name written up on the door
[Jellicles] Whoo-whoo!
And the berth is very neat
With a newly folded sheet
And there's not a speck of dust
On the floor
Then the guard looks in politely
And will ask you very brightly
"Do you like your morning tea..."
"Weak or strong?"
But I was just behind him
And was ready to remind him
For Skimble
Won't let anything go wrong
When you creep into your cozy berths
And pull up the counterpane
You ought to reflect
That it's very nice
To know that you won't
Be bothered by mice
Skimble!
You can leave all that
To the Railway Cat
-The Cat of the Railway Train
-Cats!
-Skimbleshanks the Railway Cat
-Skimbleshanks
The Cat of the Railway Train
And he gives you a wave
Of his long brown tail
Which says, "I'll see you again"
You will meet without fail
On the Midnight Mail
The Cat of the Railway Train
[yelps]
[Macavity laughing]
Macavity.
Macavity's a mystery cat
He's called "the Hidden Paw"
For he's the master criminal
Who can defy the law
He's the bafflement of Scotland Yard
The Flying Squad's despair
For when they reach the scene of crime
Macavity's not there!
Macavity, Macavity
There's no one like Macavity
He's broken every human law
He breaks the law of gravity
His powers of levitation
Would make a fakir stare
But when they reach the scene of crime
Macavity's not there!
Macavity's a ginger cat
He's very tall and thin
You would know him if you saw him
For his eyes are sunken in
His brow is deeply lined with thought
His head is highly domed
His coat is dusty from neglect
His whiskers are uncombed
He sways his head from side to side
With movements like a snake
And when you think he's half asleep
He's always wide awake!
Macavity, Macavity
There's no one like Macavity
For he's a fiend in feline shape
A monster of depravity
You may meet him in a bystreet
You may see him in the square
But when a crime's discovered
Then Macavity's not there!
He's outwardly respectable
I know he cheats at cards
And his footprints are not found
In any files of Scotland Yard's
And when the larder's looted
And the jewel case is rifled
Or when the milk is missing
Or another Peke's been stifled
-Or the greenhouse glass is broken
-[glass shatters]
And the trellis past repair
There's the wonder of the thing!
Macavity's not there!
Macavity, Macavity
There's no one like Macavity
There never was a cat
Of such deceitfulness and suavity
He always has an alibi
And one or two to spare
Whatever time the deed took place
Macavity wasn't there!
And they say that all the cats
Whose wicked deeds are widely known
I might mention Mungojerrie
Rumpleteazer, Griddlebone
Are nothing more than agents
For the cat who all the time
Just controls the operations
[Macavity] The Napoleon of crime!
[laughing]
Mwah!
Macavity, Macavity
There's no one like Macavity
He's a fiend in feline shape
A monster of depravity
You may meet him in a bystreet
You may see him in the square
But when a crime's discovered, then...
Macavity
Macavity
Macavity!
Macavity
When a crime's discovered, then...
Macavity's not there!
[Macavity] Aha!
Yes!
The time has come
to make the Jellicle choice.
Old Deuteronomy, if you would.
As I am the only contestant left.
And, quite obviously, the best.
And so...
Never.
[blowing]
I choose the cat
that deserves a new life.
I judge a cat by its soul.
He's got soul.
I've got plenty of soul.
You're a cheat, Macavity.
[shouts]
[gasps] Oh!
[chuckling]
[grunting]
Deuteronomy...
-I am going to the Heaviside Layer.
-Ah!
I demand that you grant me another life.
You will never go to the Heaviside Layer.
Oh. We'll see about that.
Growltiger, make her walk the plank.
-[hissing]
-[gasps]
[Macavity chuckles]
[gasps]
-Say it's me...
-Oh!
...or you'll drown in that river.
[Old Deuteronomy]
You'll never be my Jellicle choice!
-This is your last chance.
-Oh! Never!
Where is Old Deuteronomy?
Where is she?
We don't know.
[hisses] Where is she?
Look, it was only a bit of fun.
We didn't know he was gonna take Old Deut.
There must be something we can do.
[Cassandra] We can't just magic her back.
[Victoria] Yes, we can!
Yes, we can.
You're a magician.
-What?
-[Munkustrap] It's not a bad idea.
Might be worth a try.
Really, I can't.
You could try.
Good luck.
[breathing shakily]
You can do it.
Cross paws.
-Can we get a spotlight?
-Please, don't make me do this.
And a drumroll, please.
[drumming]
The greatest magicians
Have something to learn
From Mr. Mistoffelees' conjuring turn
And we all say:
Oh! Well, I never! Was there ever
A cat so clever
As magical Mr. Mistoffelees?
I'm quiet and small, I am black
From my ears to the tip of my tail
I can creep through the tiniest crack
I can walk on the narrowest rail
I can pick any card from a pack
I am equally cunning with dice
I am always deceiving you
Into believing
That you're only hunting for mice
I can play any trick with a cork
Or a spoon and a bit of fish paste
If you look for a knife or a fork
And you think it is merely misplaced
You have seen it one moment
And then it is gone
But you find it next week
Lying out on the lawn!
And we all say:
Oh! Well, I never! Was there ever
A cat so clever
as magical Mr. Mistoffelees?
[grunts]
You can do this.
My manner is vague and aloof
You would think there was nobody shyer
But my voice has been heard
On the roof
When I was curled up by the fire
And I've sometimes
Been heard by the fire
When I was about on the roof
At least they all heard
That somebody purred
Which is incontestable proof
Of my singular magical powers
And I've known the family to call
Me in from the garden for hours
When I was asleep in the hall
And not long ago this phenomenal cat
Produced seven kittens
Right out of a hat!
[mouse] What?
Mr. Mistoffelees?
My hero!
-Don't go! Oh, no!
-I'm falling!
-And they all say:
-Oh, gosh! Run!
Oh! Well, I never! Was there ever
A cat so clever
As magical Mr. Mistoffelees?
[inhales deeply, grunts]
Oh! Well, I never! Was there ever
A cat so clever
As magical Mr. Mistoffelees?
Please.
[grunts]
[whimpers] Oh.
[Victoria]
Oh! Well, I never! Was there ever
A cat so clever
As magical Mr. Mistoffelees?
And we all say:
Oh! Well, I never! Was there ever
A cat so clever
As magical Mr. Mistoffelees?
Oh! Well, I never! Was there ever
A cat so clever
As magical Mr. Mistoffelees?
Oh! Well, I never! Was there ever
A cat so clever
As magical Mr. Mistoffelees?
[grunts]
[Old Deuteronomy] Oh! Well, I never!
Was there ever
A cat so clever
As magical Mr. Mistoffelees?
And we all say:
Oh! Well, I never! Was there ever
A cat so clever
As magical Mr. Mistoffelees?
Oh! Well, I never! Was there ever
A cat so clever
As magical Mr. Mistoffelees?
Oh! Well, I never! Was there ever
A cat so clever
As magical Mr. Mistoffelees?
Oh! Well, I never! Was there ever
A cat so clever
As magical Mr. Mistoffelees?
-As you
-As me
Oh! Well, I never! Was there ever
A cat so clever
As magical Mr. Mistoffelees?
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you
the marvelous, magical Mr. Mistoffelees!
[cheering, meowing]
[meowing continues]
[Macavity] She's tricked me.
I will get there.
I will get to the Heaviside Layer.
I will win!
You'll all see!
-[Jennyanydots whimpers]
-[hisses]
Come with me!
Meow!
[hissing]
[shouts, howling]
[gasps] Ow.
[grunts, panting]
Don't mess with the crazy cat lady.
[shouting]
-[howls]
-Oh!
[gags]
-[yowls]
-Firefrorefiddle!
Gus!
The Fiend of the Fell!
Meow!
[Jennyanydots] Oh, you fiend.
[purrs]
Daylight
See the dew on a sunflower
And a rose that is fading
Roses wither away
Like the sunflower
I yearn to turn my face to the dawn
I am waiting
For the day
[hisses]
Sing.
Memory
Turn your face to the moonlight
Let your memory lead you
Open up, enter in
If you find there
The meaning of what happiness is
Then a new life
Will begin
Memory
All alone in the moonlight
I can smile at the old days
I was beautiful then
I remember the time
I knew what happiness was
Let the memory
Live again
Burnt-out ends of smoky days
The stale, cold smell of morning
The streetlamp dies
Another night is over
Another day is dawning
Daylight
I must wait for the sunrise
I must think of a new life
And I mustn't give in
When the dawn comes
Tonight will be a memory too
And a new day
Will begin
Sunlight through the trees in summer
Endless masquerading
Like a flower as the dawn is breaking
The memory is fading
Touch me
It's so easy to leave me
All alone with the memory
Of my days in the sun
If you touch me
You'll understand what happiness is
[inhales, exhales]
Look
A new day
Has begun
You are the Jellicle choice.
Thank you.
All that you wanted
Was to be wanted
Never to wander London streets
Alone and haunted
[Old Deuteronomy]
All your memories of pain
Let them go
And you'll dance
With these beautiful ghosts
Up, up, up, past the Russell Hotel
Up, up, up, up to the Heaviside Layer
Up, up, up, past the Russell Hotel
Up, up, up, up to the Heaviside Layer
Up, up, up, past the Russell Hotel
Up, up, up, up to the Heaviside Layer
Up, up, up, past the Russell Hotel
Up, up, up, up to the Heaviside Layer
Up, up, up, past the Jellicle moon
Up, up, up, up to the Heaviside Layer
Up, up, up, past the Jellicle moon
Up, up, up, up
To the Heaviside Layer
[laughing]
Up, up, up! Heaviside Layer, here I-- Oop!
[gasping]
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!
[screams, grunts]
Ineffable.
[quietly] Meow.
-[laughing]
-You're alive!
The mystical divinity
Of unashamed felinity
Round the cathedral
Rang "Vivat"
Life to
The Everlasting
Cat!
You've heard of several kinds of cat
And my opinion now is that
You should need no interpreter
To understand our character
You've learned enough to take the view
That cats are very much like you
You've seen us both at work and games
And learnt about our proper names
Our habits and our habitat
But how would you ad-dress a cat?
So first, your memory I'll jog
And say: a cat is not a dog
So first, your memory I'll jog
And say: a cat is not
A dog
With cats, some say, one rule is true
Don't speak till you are spoken to
Myself, I do not hold with that
I say you should ad-dress a cat
But always bear in mind that he
Resents familiarity
You bow, and taking off your hat
Ad-dress him in this form: O Cat!
O Cat!
Before a cat will condescend
To treat you as a trusted friend
Some little token of esteem
Is needed, like a dish of cream
Or you might now and then supply
Some caviar, or Strasbourg pie
Some potted grouse, or salmon paste
He's sure to have his personal taste
And so in time you reach your aim
And call him by his name
A cat's entitled to expect
These evidences of respect
So this is this, and that is that
And that's how you ad-dress
A cat
I believe you truly are a Jellicle cat.
A dearliccle cat.
Follow me home
If you dare to
I wouldn't know
Where to lead you
Should I take chances
When no one took chances on me?
So I watch from the dark
Wait for my life to start
With no beauty in my memory
All that I wanted
Was to be wanted
Too young to wander London streets
Alone and haunted
Born into nothing
At least you have something
Something to cling to
Visions of dazzling rooms
I'll never get let into
And the memories were lost long ago
But at least you have beautiful ghosts
Perilous night
Their voices calling
A flicker of light
Before the dawning
Out here the wild ones
Are taming the fear within me
Scared to call them my friends
And be broken again
Is this hope just a mystical dream?
All that I wanted
Was to be wanted
Too young to wander London streets
Alone and haunted
Born into nothing
At least you have something
Something to cling to
Visions of dazzling rooms
I'll never get let into
And the memories were lost long ago
But at least you have beautiful ghosts
And so maybe my home
Isn't what I had known
What I thought it would be
But I feel so alive
With these phantoms of night
And I know that this life isn't safe
But it's wild and it's free
All that I wanted
Was to be wanted
I'll never wander London streets
Alone and haunted
Born into nothing
With them I have something
Something to cling to
I never knew I'd love this world
They've let me into
And the memories were lost long ago
So I'll dance
With these beautiful ghosts
And the memories were lost long ago
So I'll dance
With these beautiful ghosts
[engine stops]
[hissing]
Are you blind when you're born?
Can you see in the dark?
Can you look at a king?
Would you sit on his throne?
Can you say of your bite
That it's worse than your bark?
Are you cock of the walk
When you're walking alone?
-When you fall on your head
-[whimpers]
Do you land on your feet?
[sniffs]
Are you tense when you sense
There's a storm in the air?
Can you find your way blind
When you're lost in the street?
Do you know how to go
To the Heaviside Layer?
Because Jellicles can and Jellicles do
Jellicles do and Jellicles can
Jellicles can and Jellicles do
Jellicles do and Jellicles can
Jellicles can and Jellicles do
Can you ride on a broomstick
To places far distant?
Familiar with candle
-With book
-And with bell?
Were you Whittington's friend?
The Pied Piper's assistant?
Have you been an alumnus
Of heaven or hell?
Are you mean like a minx?
Are you lean like a lynx?
Are you keen to be seen
When you're smelling a rat?
Were you there when the pharaohs
Commissioned the Sphinx?
If you were and you are
You're a Jellicle cat
Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats
Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats
Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats
Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats
Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats
We can dive through the air
Like a flying trapeze
We can turn double somersaults
Bounce on a tire
We can run up a wall
We can swing through the trees
We can balance on bars
We can walk on a wire
Jellicles can and Jellicles do
Jellicles can and Jellicles do
Jellicles can and Jellicles do
Jellicles can and Jellicles do
Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats
Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats
Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats
Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats
Can you sing at the same time
In more than one key?
Duets by Rossini
And waltzes by Strauss
Ah-ah-ah, ah-ah
And can you, as cats do
Begin with a "C"
[high note]
That always triumphantly
Brings down the house?
Jellicle cats are queens of the night
Singing at astronomical heights
Handling pieces from the Messiah
Hallelujah, angelical choir
The mystical divinity
Of unashamed felinity
Round the cathedral
Rang "Vivat"
Life to the Everlasting
Cat!
Feline, fearless, faithful and true
To others who do
What
Jellicles do and Jellicles can
Jellicles can and Jellicles do
Jellicle cats sing Jellicle chants
Jellicles old and Jellicles new
Jellicle song and Jellicle dance
Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats
Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats
Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats
Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats
Practical cats
Dramatical cats
Pragmatical cats
Fanatical cats
Oratorical cats
Delphicoracle cats
Skeptical cats
Dyspeptical cats
Romantical cats
Pedantical cats
Critical cats
Parasitical cats
Allegorical cats, metaphorical cats
-Statistical cats
-And mystical cats
Political cats
Hypocritical cats
-Clerical cats
-Hysterical cats!
Cynical cats
Rabbinical cats
And magical cats!
Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats
Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats
Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats
Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats
[singing alone]
Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats...
[gasps]
[Macavity] Going to the ball?
I wouldn't if I were you.
Could get dangerous.
You know, they say
Macavity will win this year.
Macavity?
There's no one like Macavity
A wonderful magician.
But a monster of depravity
One moment you see him...
Come on!
[whispers] Magic!
[laughing]
So, what's your name?
[hissing]
Cat got your tongue?
-Victoria.
-Victoria?
You must have another.
Another?
The naming of cats
Is a difficult matter
It isn't just one
Of your holiday games
You may think at first
I'm as mad as a hatter
When I tell you a cat must have
Three different names
First of all, there's the name
That the family use daily
-Such as:
-Peter
-Augustus
-Alonzo
Or James
But I tell you a cat
Needs a name that's particular
A name that's peculiar
And more dignified
Else how can he keep up
His tail perpendicular
Or spread out his whiskers
Or cherish his pride?
But above and beyond
There's still one name left over
And that is the name
That you never will guess
The name that
No human research can discover
But the cat herself knows
And will never confess
When you notice a cat
In profound meditation
The reason, I tell you
Is always the same:
Her mind is engaged
In a rapt contemplation
Of the thought
Of the thought
Of the thought
Of her name
Her ineffable, effable, effanineffable
Deep and inscrutable
Singular name, name, name, name
Name, name, name, name
Name, name, name, name
Mr. Mistoffelees, the magical cat!
Jellicle cats come out tonight
Jellicle cats, come one, come all
The Jellicle moon is shining bright
Jellicles come to the Jellicle Ball
Jellicle cats come out tonight
Je--
Jellicles come to the... [grunts]
Jellicle Ball
Jellicle cats meet once a year
At the Jellicle Ball
Where we all rejoice
And the Jellicle leader
Will soon appear
And make what is known
As the Jellicle choice
When Old Deuteronomy just before dawn
Through a silence
You feel you could cut with a knife
Announces the cat
Who can now be reborn
And come back
To a different Jellicle life
For waiting up there
Is the Heaviside Layer
Full of wonders
One Jellicle only will see
And Jellicles ask
Because Jellicles dare
Who will it be?
[Jellicles] Who will it be?
The Heaviside Layer?
Far, far up in the sky.
From where the most deserving cat
will be reborn into another life.
So they can be
who they've always dreamed of being.
How will they be chosen?
By singing the song
of themselves, of course.
Who they are and what they do.
Come.
Come and see a cat who's competing
to be the Jellicle choice tonight.
I have a Gumbie Cat in mind
-Her name is Jennyanydots
-[yawns]
Her coat is of the tabby kind
With tiger stripes and leopard spots
All day she sits upon the stair
-Or on the step or on the mat
-[grunting]
She sits and sits and sits and sits
And that's what makes a Gumbie Cat
That's what makes a Gumbie Cat
[grunting]
But...
When the day's hustle and bustle
Is done
Then the Gumbie Cat's work
Is but hardly begun
And when all the family's
In bed and asleep
I tuck up my skirts
To the basement to creep
I am deeply concerned
With the ways of the mice
Their behavior's not good
And their manners not nice
So when I have got them
Lined up on the matting
I teach them music
Crocheting and tatting
Diddly-dot, diddly-dot
Diddly-dot, whap-whoo
Diddly-dot, diddly-dot
Diddly-dot, whap-whoo
Diddly-dot, diddly-dot
Diddly-dot, whap-whoo
[scatting]
-Woodly-wah, woodly-wah
-It's dinner and a show.
Woodly-wah, woodly-wah
Woodly-wah, wah-wah
A-dooby-dooby-doo
A-diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly
[scatting]
-[trap snaps]
-Aaah!
[mice giggling]
[Munkustrap]
I have a Gumbie Cat in mind
Her name is Jennyanydots
The curtain cord she likes to wind
-And tie it into sailor knots
-[groaning]
She sits upon the windowsill
Or anything that's smooth and flat
She sits and sits and sits and sits
[grunts]
And that's what makes a Gumbie Cat!
That's what makes a Gumbie Cat!
But...
When the day's hustle and bustle
Is done
Then the Gumbie Cat's work
Is but hardly begun
I think that the cockroaches
Need employment
To prevent them from idle
And wanton destroyment
So I formed from that lot
Of disorderly louts
A troop of well-disciplined
Helpful boy scouts
With a purpose in life
And a good deed to do
And I've even created
A Beetles' Tattoo!
[rhythmic drumbeat]
[Jennyanydots] Cockroaches!
Faces!
Mmm.
And now for the icing on the cake.
Why does she want another Jellicle life?
I can't keep being in this kitchen.
Don't get cocky!
Ha-ha!
So for Old Gumbie Cats
Let's now give three cheers
On whom well-ordered households depend
It appears
Three cheers, three cheers
Three cheers
Thank you, my dears
[song ends]
[Rum Tum Tugger] Meow.
Hmm?
It's a little old-fashioned,
don't you think?
With the cockroaches dancing
and the mice singing.
Well, actually, the mice were really good.
[giggling]
But it's all a bit old-school.
Get out.
I'm just trying
to offer you some feedback here.
Well, a--
Well, actually, I just thought
I'd have a feed at the back.
Get out of this kitchen now.
Let's dance!
-The Rum Tum Tugger is a curious cat
-A curious cat
[both grunting rhythmically]
Hmm. Hmm.
If you offer me pheasant
I'd rather have grouse
If you put me in a house
I would much prefer a flat
If you put me in a flat
Then I'd rather have a house
If you set me on a mouse
Then I only want a rat
[squealing] No, no!
If you set me on a rat
Then I'd rather chase a mouse
Thanks, Tugger!
[Jellicles]
The Rum Tum Tugger is a curious cat
And there isn't any call
For me to shout it
[Jellicles] For he will do as he do do
And there's no doing anything about it
No!
The Rum Tum Tugger is a terrible bore
When you let me in then I wanna go out
I'm always on the wrong side
Of every door
As soon as I get home
Then I like to get about
I like to lie in a bureau drawer
But I make such a fuss
If I can't get out
-Ooh!
-Do you think he just got neutered?
'Cause those notes are, like--
[high voice] high.
[chuckling] You know...
The Rum Tum Tugger is a curious cat
[grunts] And there isn't any use
For you to doubt it
-Lights.
-For he will do as he do do
And there's no doing anything
About-awow-awow it
I can dance how he dances too.
-Look.
-[Munkustrap] Let me see.
It's easy.
The Rum Tum Tugger is a curious beast
My disobliging ways
Is a matter of habit
Hey there.
If you offer me fish
Then I always want a feast
When there isn't any fish
Well, darling, I'm not having rabbit
If you offer me cream
Then I sniff and sneer
For I only like...
What I find for myself
Uh!
-Victoria
-[Jellicles sighing]
Stop milking it.
So, you'll catch me in it
Right up to my ears
If you put it away on the larder shelf
Whoo!
The Rum Tum Tugger
Is artful and knowing
The Rum Tum Tugger
Doesn't care for a cuddle
But I'll leap up in your lap
In the middle of your sewing
For there's nothing I enjoy
Like a horrible muddle
Yeah!
[bell dinging]
The Rum Tum Tugger is a curious cat
The Rum Tum Tugger
Doesn't care for a cuddle
Nah, nah. No more milk.
Milk!
Whoo!
The Rum Tum Tugger is a curious cat
And there isn't any need
For me to spout it
For he will do as he do do
And there's no
Doing anything
About
About
Wow.
There's no doing anything, yeah
About
[meowing]
About it
[laughing]
[hissing]
Remark the cat
Who hesitates towards you
In the light of the door
Which opens on her
Like a grin
You see the border of her coat
Is torn and stained with sand
And you see
The corner of her eye
Twist like a crooked pin
And--
She haunted many a low resort
Near the grimy road of Tottenham Court
She flitted about the no-man's land
From the Rising Sun
To the Friend At Hand
And the postman sighed
As he scratched his head
You'd really have thought
She'd ought to be dead
And who'd have ever supposed that that
Was Grizabella
The glamour cat
Grizabella the glamour cat
Grizabella the glamour cat
Who'd have ever
Supposed that that
[hisses]
Was Grizabella
The glamour cat
[breathing shakily]
[Victoria] Who was she?
She used to be the star of the Windmill.
Then she went with Macavity.
[Cassandra]
Now she lives on the wasteland.
[heavy footsteps]
Good evening, all.
Meow!
Oh, no. Look what the cat dragged in.
Oh, my. You look absolutely starving.
You can't attend the ball
on an empty stomach.
So you're hoping to be chosen?
Yeah. He wants to be reborn as a thin cat
so he can get fat all over again.
But he's going to lose!
How dare you! Don't listen to her.
Don't you listen to him
because he is a complete and utter bas--
I'm Bustopher Jones
I'm not skin and bones
In fact, I'm remarkably fat
I don't haunt pubs
I have eight or nine clubs
For I'm the St. James's Street cat
I'm the cat they all greet
As I walk down the street
In my coat of fastidious black
No commonplace mousers
Have such well-cut trousers
Or such an impeccable back
Yeah, you've got it. Here we go. Ha-ha!
Ready?
Whoo!
'Scuse me.
Are you by any chance Jennyanydots?
[chuckles] Yes.
You know, your work
should be on the world stage.
Yes.
And that face should be on a poster.
Meow!
In the whole of St. James's
The smartest of names is
-The name of this Brummell of cats
-[sipping]
And we're all of us proud
To be nodded or bowed to
By Bustopher Jones in white spats
[sighs]
My visits are occasional
To the Senior Educational
And it is against the rules
For any one cat to belong both to that
And the Joint Superior Schools
[inhales deeply]
For a similar reason
When game is in season
I'm found not at Fox's but Blimp's
Oh!
I am frequently seen
At the gay Stage and Screen
Which is famous
For winkles and shrimps
In the season of venison
I give my ben'son
To the Pothunter's succulent bones
And just before noon's
Not a moment too soon
[music stops]
Right. That's not going to work, is it?
Okay?
Look at you, and look at me,
and you know,
you know that I'm sensitive
about my size, okay?
And yet you embarrass me. [hisses]
That's what I say to you. [hisses]
Okay? Now, listen.
You'll never get me up there on your own.
So let's gather up a few more of the cats
and we'll try again, shall we?
Yeah. Okay. Nice and good.
Everybody ready?
And... Five, six, seven.
And just before noon's
Not a moment too soon
Hey!
Ooh! Gah!
Oh!
To drop in for a drink at the Dro...
Oh, oh, oh, ...ones
Thanks, Tugger.
When I'm seen in a hurry
There's probably curry
At the Siamese or at the Glutton
If I look full of gloom
Then I've lunched at the Tomb
On cabbage, rice pudding and mutton
In the whole of St. James's
The smartest of names is
The name of this Brummell of cats
And we're all of us proud
To be nodded or bowed to
By Bustopher Jones in white
Bustopher Jones in white
Bustopher Jones in white spats
Yaah! Ha-ha! Hoo-hoo!
[laughing]
So, much in this way
Passes Bustopher's day
At one club
Or another I'm found
It can be no surprise
That under our eyes
He has grown unmistakably round
I'm a 25 pounder or I am a bounder
And I'm putting on weight every day
But I'm so well preserved
Because I've observed
All my life a routine and I'd say
I am still in my prime
I shall last out my time
That's the word
From the stoutest of cats
It must and it shall
Be spring in Pall Mall
While Bustopher Jones wears white
Bustopher Jones wears white
Bustopher Jones wears white
Spats?
Macavity!
[chuckles] Puss in Spats. I love it.
Hungry?
Look like you haven't eaten for days.
Go for it.
Look at it.
Smell it.
-Really tasty.
-[sniffing]
Well, come on, Puss in Spats.
You can do it.
Ha-ha!
Ineffable.
Can we help you?
You really shouldn't be out alone.
I'm not alone. I'm with my friends.
Friends?
Looks like they've run away and left you.
Don't worry.
We'll look after you.
Won't we?
Why don't you come inside?
Mungojerrie
And Rumpleteazer
We're a notorious couple of cats
As knockabout clowns
Quick-change comedians
Tightrope walkers
And acrobats
We have an extensive reputation
We make our home in Victoria Grove
This is merely our center of operation
For we are incurably given to rove
We are very well known
In Cornwall Gardens
In Launceston Place
And in Kensington Square
We have really
A little more reputation
Than a couple of cats
Can very well bear
No photos, right?
If the area window is found ajar
And the bedroom looks
Like a field of war
If a tile or two comes loose
On the roof
-Which presently fails to be waterproof
-[tiles clattering]
If the drawers are pulled out
From the bedroom chest
And you can't find
One of your winter vests
Or after supper one of the girls
Suddenly misses her Woolworth pearls
The family will say
"It's that horrible cat"
It was Mungojerrie
Or Rumpleteazer
And most of the time
They leave it at that
[laughing]
[giggles]
Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer
Have a very unusual gift of the gab
We're highly efficient
Cat burglars as well
And remarkably smart
At the smash-and-grab
[glass shatters]
We make our home in Victoria Grove
We have no regular occupation
We are plausible fellows
Who like to engage
A friendly policeman in conversation
Hello, police officer.
I bought these for her myself.
-You did what?
-Wait.
When the family assembles
For Sunday dinner
Their minds made up
That they won't get thinner
On Argentine joint
Potatoes and greens
Then the cook would appear
From behind the scenes
And say, in a voice
That is broken with sorrow
"I'm afraid you must wait
And have dinner tomorrow
For the joint
Has gone from the oven like that!"
Then the family will say
"It's that horrible cat"
It was Mungojerrie
Or Rumpleteazer
And most of the time
They leave it at that
Mungojerrie
And Rumpleteazer
Have a wonderful way
Of working together
And some of the time
You would say it was luck
And some of the time
You would say it was weather
We go through the house
Like a hurricane
And no sober person
Could take his oath
Was it Mungojerrie?
Or Rumpleteazer?
Or could you have sworn
That it might have been both?
And when you hear a dining-room smash
Or up from the pantry
There comes a loud crash
Or down from the library
There comes a loud ping
From a vase
That was commonly said to be Ming
Then the family will say
[Victoria]
"Now, which was which cat?"
It was Mungojerrie
And
Rumpleteazer
And there's nothing at all
To be done about that
[song ends]
[rumbling]
[dog barking]
[gasps, grunts]
[dog barking]
I'm coming, Victoria!
[grunting]
Don't worry! Stay there!
[dog barking louder]
[growling]
Here, doggy! Fetch!
I've been looking for you everywhere.
I thought you'd miss the arrival.
What arrival?
Of Old Deuteronomy.
[dog growling]
Oh!
-Where am I?
-[ship horn blows]
It seems we're on a barge
in the middle of the Thames.
What are you doing here?
I haven't got the faintest clue.
And I've lost all of my cockroaches.
I can't be on a barge
in the middle of the Thames.
I'm supposed to be going to the ball.
Oh, no. You're not going anywhere,
Puss in Spats.
I'm determined to win,
and I prefer my competition chained up.
Growltiger.
Keep 'em here.
Meow!
He's called me that twice now.
"Puss in Spats."
Like it's, sort of, a joke.
I rather like it. So the joke's on him.
Who are you?
Growltiger.
I'm a Bravo Cat, I travel on a barge
In fact I am the roughest cat
Who ever roamed at large
From Gravesend up to Oxford
I pursue my evil aims
Rejoicing in my title of
"The Terror of the Thames"
Right, no, see, that doesn't rhyme.
You can't just say "Taymes"
'cause it rhymes with "aims."
It's the River Thames.
-[whimpers] Ow!
-[Griddlebone giggles]
Okay, so, it's Growltiger, you say?
Yep. I think I've got it.
I think that's it.
I fully understand now who it is.
Thank you for telling me.
Where have you been?
Oh, it's mine.
Yet another trick that went wrong.
You're just in time
to see Old Deuteronomy.
Who is Old Deuteronomy?
Old Deuteronomy's lived a long time
She's a cat who has lived
Many lives in succession
She was famous in proverb
And famous in rhyme
A long while before
Queen Victoria's accession
Old Deuteronomy's lived many lives
You know, I am tempted to say 99
And her numerous progeny
Prospers and thrives
And the village is proud of her
In her decline
At the sight of that placid
And bland physiognomy
When she sits in the sun
On the vicarage wall
The oldest inhabitant croaks:
"Well, of all things
Can it be really?
Yes, no, ho, hi, oh, my eye!
My mind may be wandering
But I confess
I believe it is Old Deuteronomy!"
Well, of all things, can it be really?
Yes, no, ho, hi, oh, my eye!
My mind may be wandering
But I confess
I believe it is Old Deuteronomy!
Well, of all things, can it be really?
Yes, no, ho, hi, oh, my eye!
My mind may be wandering
But I confess
I believe it is Old Deuteronomy!
Well, of all things, can it be really?
Yes, no, ho, hi, oh, my eye!
My legs may be tottery, I must go slow
And be careful of Old Deuteronomy
Jellicle cats meet once a year
On the night
We make the Jellicle choice
And now the Jellicle leader is here
Jellicle cats can all rejoice!
-Who will it be?
-Who will it be?
Who will it be?
Jellicle cats come out tonight
Jellicle cats, come one, come all
The Jellicle moon is shining bright
Jellicles come to the Jellicle Ball
[Jellicles]
Jellicle cats are black and white
Jellicle cats are rather small
Jellicle cats are merry and bright
And pleasant to hear
When they caterwaul
[yowls]
Jellicle cats have cheerful faces
Jellicle cats have bright, black eyes
We like to practice
Our airs and graces
And wait for the Jellicle moon to rise
-Jellicle cats develop slowly
-Meow, meow, meow, meow!
Jellicle cats are not too big
Jellicle cats are roly-poly
We know how to dance
A gavotte and a jig
Until the Jellicle moon appears
We make our toilette
And take our repose
Jellicles wash behind their ears
Jellicles dry between their toes
Jellicle cats are white and black
Jellicle cats are of moderate size
Jellicles jump like a jumping jack
Jellicle cats have moonlit eyes
Jellicle cats are black and white
Jellicle cats, as we said, are small
If it happens to be a stormy night
We will practice
A caper or two in the hall
If it happens the sun
Is shining bright
You would say
We had nothing to do at all
We are resting
And saving ourselves to be right
For the Jellicle moon
And the Jellicle Ball!
Jellicle cats come out tonight!
Jellicle cats, come one, come all!
The Jellicle moon is shining bright
Jellicles come to the Jellicle Ball!
Jellicle cats come out tonight
Jellicle cats, come one, come all
The Jellicle moon is shining bright
Jellicles come to the Jellicle Ball
-[gasps]
-[rhythmic breathing]
[rhythmic breathing]
It's party time!
With your permission, of course.
[hissing]
[rhythmic breathing]
[all panting]
Silence
Not a sound from the pavement
Has the moon lost her memory?
She is smiling alone
In the lamplight
The withered leaves collect at my feet
And the wind
Begins to moan
Every streetlamp seems to beat
A fatalistic warning
Someone mutters
And the streetlamp gutters
And soon it will
Be morning
Memory
All alone in the moonlight
I can smile at the old days
I was beautiful then
I remember the time
I knew what happiness was
Let the memory
Live again
Follow me home
If you dare to
I wouldn't know
Where to lead you
Should I take chances
When no one took chances on me?
So I watch from the dark
Wait for my life to start
With no beauty in my memory
All that I wanted
Was to be wanted
Too young to wander London streets
Alone and haunted
Born into nothing
At least you have something
Something to cling to
Visions of dazzling rooms
I'll never get let into
And the memories were lost long ago
But at least you have beautiful ghosts
And so maybe my home
Isn't what I had known
What I thought it would be
But I feel so alive
With these phantoms of night
And I know that this life isn't safe
But it's wild and it's free
All that I wanted
Was to be wanted
I'll never wander London streets
Alone and haunted
Born into nothing
With them I have something
Something to cling to
I never knew I'd love this world
They let me into
And the memories were lost long ago
So I'll dance
With these beautiful ghosts
The memories were lost long ago
So I'll dance with these beautiful
Ghosts
The moments of happiness
We had the experience
But missed the meaning
And approach to the meaning
Restores the experience
In a different form
Beyond any meaning
We can assign to happiness
The past experience revived
In the meaning
Is not the experience of one life only
But of many generations
Not forgetting something
That is probably quite ineffable
Are you all right, my dear?
We haven't met before, have we?
No. I'm not from round here.
I was abandoned.
Oh, poor thing.
Would you like to see me
make the Jellicle choice?
Am I allowed?
Why wouldn't you be allowed?
I'm not a Jellicle.
Not yet, perhaps.
Come, we're about to begin.
[slurping]
Gus.
Gus, it's your call.
[exhales]
I just wanted to wish you jolly good luck.
I'm a tremendous fan of your work.
Hmm.
What's your name?
Mr. Mistoffelees.
I'm a magic cat, you see.
Oh.
-Do you ever get nervous?
-No, no.
It's all practice, practice, practice.
Then nothing can go wrong.
Touch wood.
I've never played The Egyptian before.
Gus the Theater Cat.
Cross paws.
Hmm.
Gus is the cat at the theater door
My name
As I ought to have told you before
Is really Asparagus
But that's such a fuss
To pronounce
That they usually call me just Gus
My coat's very shabby
I'm thin as a rake
And I suffer from palsy
Which makes my paws shake
Yet I was, in my youth
Quite the smartest of cats
Though no longer
A terror to mice or to rats
For I'm not the cat
That I was in my prime
Though my name was quite famous
They say, in my time
And whenever
I join my friends at their club
Which takes place at the back
Of the neighboring pub
I love to regale them
If someone else pays
With anecdotes drawn
From my palmiest days
For I once was a star
Of the highest degree
I have acted with Irving
[chuckles] I've acted with Tree
And I like to recall
My success on the halls
When the gallery
Once gave me seven catcalls
But my grandest creation
As I love to tell
Was Firefrorefiddle
The Fiend of the Fell
[screeches]
[laughing]
Ah.
Then if someone
Will give me a toothful of gin
I will tell how I once
Played a part in East Lynne
In a Shakespeare performance
I once walked on pat
When some actor
Suggested the need for a cat
And I say now, these kittens
They do not get trained
As we did in the days
When Victoria reigned
They do not get drilled
In a regular troupe
And they think it is smart
Just to jump through a hoop
And I say, as I scratch myself
With my claws
Well, the theater
Is certainly not what it was
These modern productions
Are all very well
But there's nothing to equal
From what I hear tell
That moment of mystery
When I made history
As Firefrorefiddle
The Fiend of the Fell
[thunderclap]
[thunderclaps]
-[song ends]
-[thunder fades]
[all meowing]
I could do it again, you know.
[sighs]
[Macavity] Bravo!
Bravo, Gus.
Could I trouble you for an autograph, sir?
[gasps]
To see Firefrorefiddle come alive tonight
was truly inspirational and scary.
Macavity! [laughing]
[Old Deuteronomy]
The next contestant is...
Skimbleshanks the Railway Cat.
Skimbleshanks the Railway Cat
The Cat of the Railway Train
There's a whisper down the line
At 11:39
When the Night Mail's ready to depart
Saying, "Skimble, where is Skimble?
Has he gone to hunt the thimble?
We must find him
Or the train can't start"
All the guards and all the porters
And the stationmaster's daughters
Would be searching high and low
Saying, "Skimble, where is Skimble?
For unless he's very nimble
Then the Night Mail just can't go"
At 11:42 with the signal overdue
And the passengers
All frantic to a man
That's when I would appear
And I'd saunter to the rear
I'd been busy in the luggage van
Then he gives one flash
Of his glass-green eyes
And the signal goes "All clear!"
And we're off at last
For the northern part
Of the Northern Hemisphere
[whistle blows]
Skimbleshanks the Railway Cat
Skimbleshanks the Railway Cat
Skimbleshanks, Skimbleshanks
Skimbleshanks the Railway Cat
The Cat of the Railway Train
You could say that by and large
It was me who was in charge
Of the Sleeping Car Express
From the driver and the guards
To the bagmen playing cards
I would supervise them all
More or less
I will watch you without winking
And I'll see what you are thinking
And it's certain
That I wouldn't approve
Of hilarity and riot
So the folk are very quiet
When Skimble is about and on the move
You can play no pranks
With Skimbleshanks
I'm a cat that cannot be ignored
So nothing goes wrong
On the Northern Mail
When Skimbleshanks is aboard
Oh, it's very pleasant
When you've found your little den
With your name written up on the door
[Jellicles] Whoo-whoo!
And the berth is very neat
With a newly folded sheet
And there's not a speck of dust
On the floor
Then the guard looks in politely
And will ask you very brightly
"Do you like your morning tea..."
"Weak or strong?"
But I was just behind him
And was ready to remind him
For Skimble
Won't let anything go wrong
When you creep into your cozy berths
And pull up the counterpane
You ought to reflect
That it's very nice
To know that you won't
Be bothered by mice
Skimble!
You can leave all that
To the Railway Cat
-The Cat of the Railway Train
-Cats!
-Skimbleshanks the Railway Cat
-Skimbleshanks
The Cat of the Railway Train
And he gives you a wave
Of his long brown tail
Which says, "I'll see you again"
You will meet without fail
On the Midnight Mail
The Cat of the Railway Train
[yelps]
[Macavity laughing]
Macavity.
Macavity's a mystery cat
He's called "the Hidden Paw"
For he's the master criminal
Who can defy the law
He's the bafflement of Scotland Yard
The Flying Squad's despair
For when they reach the scene of crime
Macavity's not there!
Macavity, Macavity
There's no one like Macavity
He's broken every human law
He breaks the law of gravity
His powers of levitation
Would make a fakir stare
But when they reach the scene of crime
Macavity's not there!
Macavity's a ginger cat
He's very tall and thin
You would know him if you saw him
For his eyes are sunken in
His brow is deeply lined with thought
His head is highly domed
His coat is dusty from neglect
His whiskers are uncombed
He sways his head from side to side
With movements like a snake
And when you think he's half asleep
He's always wide awake!
Macavity, Macavity
There's no one like Macavity
For he's a fiend in feline shape
A monster of depravity
You may meet him in a bystreet
You may see him in the square
But when a crime's discovered
Then Macavity's not there!
He's outwardly respectable
I know he cheats at cards
And his footprints are not found
In any files of Scotland Yard's
And when the larder's looted
And the jewel case is rifled
Or when the milk is missing
Or another Peke's been stifled
-Or the greenhouse glass is broken
-[glass shatters]
And the trellis past repair
There's the wonder of the thing!
Macavity's not there!
Macavity, Macavity
There's no one like Macavity
There never was a cat
Of such deceitfulness and suavity
He always has an alibi
And one or two to spare
Whatever time the deed took place
Macavity wasn't there!
And they say that all the cats
Whose wicked deeds are widely known
I might mention Mungojerrie
Rumpleteazer, Griddlebone
Are nothing more than agents
For the cat who all the time
Just controls the operations
[Macavity] The Napoleon of crime!
[laughing]
Mwah!
Macavity, Macavity
There's no one like Macavity
He's a fiend in feline shape
A monster of depravity
You may meet him in a bystreet
You may see him in the square
But when a crime's discovered, then...
Macavity
Macavity
Macavity!
Macavity
When a crime's discovered, then...
Macavity's not there!
[Macavity] Aha!
Yes!
The time has come
to make the Jellicle choice.
Old Deuteronomy, if you would.
As I am the only contestant left.
And, quite obviously, the best.
And so...
Never.
[blowing]
I choose the cat
that deserves a new life.
I judge a cat by its soul.
He's got soul.
I've got plenty of soul.
You're a cheat, Macavity.
[shouts]
[gasps] Oh!
[chuckling]
[grunting]
Deuteronomy...
-I am going to the Heaviside Layer.
-Ah!
I demand that you grant me another life.
You will never go to the Heaviside Layer.
Oh. We'll see about that.
Growltiger, make her walk the plank.
-[hissing]
-[gasps]
[Macavity chuckles]
[gasps]
-Say it's me...
-Oh!
...or you'll drown in that river.
[Old Deuteronomy]
You'll never be my Jellicle choice!
-This is your last chance.
-Oh! Never!
Where is Old Deuteronomy?
Where is she?
We don't know.
[hisses] Where is she?
Look, it was only a bit of fun.
We didn't know he was gonna take Old Deut.
There must be something we can do.
[Cassandra] We can't just magic her back.
[Victoria] Yes, we can!
Yes, we can.
You're a magician.
-What?
-[Munkustrap] It's not a bad idea.
Might be worth a try.
Really, I can't.
You could try.
Good luck.
[breathing shakily]
You can do it.
Cross paws.
-Can we get a spotlight?
-Please, don't make me do this.
And a drumroll, please.
[drumming]
The greatest magicians
Have something to learn
From Mr. Mistoffelees' conjuring turn
And we all say:
Oh! Well, I never! Was there ever
A cat so clever
As magical Mr. Mistoffelees?
I'm quiet and small, I am black
From my ears to the tip of my tail
I can creep through the tiniest crack
I can walk on the narrowest rail
I can pick any card from a pack
I am equally cunning with dice
I am always deceiving you
Into believing
That you're only hunting for mice
I can play any trick with a cork
Or a spoon and a bit of fish paste
If you look for a knife or a fork
And you think it is merely misplaced
You have seen it one moment
And then it is gone
But you find it next week
Lying out on the lawn!
And we all say:
Oh! Well, I never! Was there ever
A cat so clever
as magical Mr. Mistoffelees?
[grunts]
You can do this.
My manner is vague and aloof
You would think there was nobody shyer
But my voice has been heard
On the roof
When I was curled up by the fire
And I've sometimes
Been heard by the fire
When I was about on the roof
At least they all heard
That somebody purred
Which is incontestable proof
Of my singular magical powers
And I've known the family to call
Me in from the garden for hours
When I was asleep in the hall
And not long ago this phenomenal cat
Produced seven kittens
Right out of a hat!
[mouse] What?
Mr. Mistoffelees?
My hero!
-Don't go! Oh, no!
-I'm falling!
-And they all say:
-Oh, gosh! Run!
Oh! Well, I never! Was there ever
A cat so clever
As magical Mr. Mistoffelees?
[inhales deeply, grunts]
Oh! Well, I never! Was there ever
A cat so clever
As magical Mr. Mistoffelees?
Please.
[grunts]
[whimpers] Oh.
[Victoria]
Oh! Well, I never! Was there ever
A cat so clever
As magical Mr. Mistoffelees?
And we all say:
Oh! Well, I never! Was there ever
A cat so clever
As magical Mr. Mistoffelees?
Oh! Well, I never! Was there ever
A cat so clever
As magical Mr. Mistoffelees?
Oh! Well, I never! Was there ever
A cat so clever
As magical Mr. Mistoffelees?
[grunts]
[Old Deuteronomy] Oh! Well, I never!
Was there ever
A cat so clever
As magical Mr. Mistoffelees?
And we all say:
Oh! Well, I never! Was there ever
A cat so clever
As magical Mr. Mistoffelees?
Oh! Well, I never! Was there ever
A cat so clever
As magical Mr. Mistoffelees?
Oh! Well, I never! Was there ever
A cat so clever
As magical Mr. Mistoffelees?
Oh! Well, I never! Was there ever
A cat so clever
As magical Mr. Mistoffelees?
-As you
-As me
Oh! Well, I never! Was there ever
A cat so clever
As magical Mr. Mistoffelees?
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you
the marvelous, magical Mr. Mistoffelees!
[cheering, meowing]
[meowing continues]
[Macavity] She's tricked me.
I will get there.
I will get to the Heaviside Layer.
I will win!
You'll all see!
-[Jennyanydots whimpers]
-[hisses]
Come with me!
Meow!
[hissing]
[shouts, howling]
[gasps] Ow.
[grunts, panting]
Don't mess with the crazy cat lady.
[shouting]
-[howls]
-Oh!
[gags]
-[yowls]
-Firefrorefiddle!
Gus!
The Fiend of the Fell!
Meow!
[Jennyanydots] Oh, you fiend.
[purrs]
Daylight
See the dew on a sunflower
And a rose that is fading
Roses wither away
Like the sunflower
I yearn to turn my face to the dawn
I am waiting
For the day
[hisses]
Sing.
Memory
Turn your face to the moonlight
Let your memory lead you
Open up, enter in
If you find there
The meaning of what happiness is
Then a new life
Will begin
Memory
All alone in the moonlight
I can smile at the old days
I was beautiful then
I remember the time
I knew what happiness was
Let the memory
Live again
Burnt-out ends of smoky days
The stale, cold smell of morning
The streetlamp dies
Another night is over
Another day is dawning
Daylight
I must wait for the sunrise
I must think of a new life
And I mustn't give in
When the dawn comes
Tonight will be a memory too
And a new day
Will begin
Sunlight through the trees in summer
Endless masquerading
Like a flower as the dawn is breaking
The memory is fading
Touch me
It's so easy to leave me
All alone with the memory
Of my days in the sun
If you touch me
You'll understand what happiness is
[inhales, exhales]
Look
A new day
Has begun
You are the Jellicle choice.
Thank you.
All that you wanted
Was to be wanted
Never to wander London streets
Alone and haunted
[Old Deuteronomy]
All your memories of pain
Let them go
And you'll dance
With these beautiful ghosts
Up, up, up, past the Russell Hotel
Up, up, up, up to the Heaviside Layer
Up, up, up, past the Russell Hotel
Up, up, up, up to the Heaviside Layer
Up, up, up, past the Russell Hotel
Up, up, up, up to the Heaviside Layer
Up, up, up, past the Russell Hotel
Up, up, up, up to the Heaviside Layer
Up, up, up, past the Jellicle moon
Up, up, up, up to the Heaviside Layer
Up, up, up, past the Jellicle moon
Up, up, up, up
To the Heaviside Layer
[laughing]
Up, up, up! Heaviside Layer, here I-- Oop!
[gasping]
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!
[screams, grunts]
Ineffable.
[quietly] Meow.
-[laughing]
-You're alive!
The mystical divinity
Of unashamed felinity
Round the cathedral
Rang "Vivat"
Life to
The Everlasting
Cat!
You've heard of several kinds of cat
And my opinion now is that
You should need no interpreter
To understand our character
You've learned enough to take the view
That cats are very much like you
You've seen us both at work and games
And learnt about our proper names
Our habits and our habitat
But how would you ad-dress a cat?
So first, your memory I'll jog
And say: a cat is not a dog
So first, your memory I'll jog
And say: a cat is not
A dog
With cats, some say, one rule is true
Don't speak till you are spoken to
Myself, I do not hold with that
I say you should ad-dress a cat
But always bear in mind that he
Resents familiarity
You bow, and taking off your hat
Ad-dress him in this form: O Cat!
O Cat!
Before a cat will condescend
To treat you as a trusted friend
Some little token of esteem
Is needed, like a dish of cream
Or you might now and then supply
Some caviar, or Strasbourg pie
Some potted grouse, or salmon paste
He's sure to have his personal taste
And so in time you reach your aim
And call him by his name
A cat's entitled to expect
These evidences of respect
So this is this, and that is that
And that's how you ad-dress
A cat
I believe you truly are a Jellicle cat.
A dearliccle cat.
Follow me home
If you dare to
I wouldn't know
Where to lead you
Should I take chances
When no one took chances on me?
So I watch from the dark
Wait for my life to start
With no beauty in my memory
All that I wanted
Was to be wanted
Too young to wander London streets
Alone and haunted
Born into nothing
At least you have something
Something to cling to
Visions of dazzling rooms
I'll never get let into
And the memories were lost long ago
But at least you have beautiful ghosts
Perilous night
Their voices calling
A flicker of light
Before the dawning
Out here the wild ones
Are taming the fear within me
Scared to call them my friends
And be broken again
Is this hope just a mystical dream?
All that I wanted
Was to be wanted
Too young to wander London streets
Alone and haunted
Born into nothing
At least you have something
Something to cling to
Visions of dazzling rooms
I'll never get let into
And the memories were lost long ago
But at least you have beautiful ghosts
And so maybe my home
Isn't what I had known
What I thought it would be
But I feel so alive
With these phantoms of night
And I know that this life isn't safe
But it's wild and it's free
All that I wanted
Was to be wanted
I'll never wander London streets
Alone and haunted
Born into nothing
With them I have something
Something to cling to
I never knew I'd love this world
They've let me into
And the memories were lost long ago
So I'll dance
With these beautiful ghosts
And the memories were lost long ago
So I'll dance
With these beautiful ghosts