Chateau (2024) Movie Script
1
(screaming)
It was just a nightmare.
Oh my gosh.
It felt so real, like
there was somebody
in my room next to my bed.
I saw someone like a human
form backlit by the lumen, lu--
Ah, shit.
What's the line?
The luminescent moon trickling
through the gauzy curtains
shrouding my window.
Oh, it's a stupid line.
Okay, again.
(clears throat)
- Ah--
- (phone ringing)
Oh shit.
Hello.
- Hey.
- Hey.
I didn't think you'd answer.
Yeah, I didn't mean to.
I wasn't sure if you
were still awake.
What's the time
difference over there?
[James] No, it's only
like 10:00 PM.
[Lila] Well, it's 1:00 PM here.
The funeral is at
3:00, and I don't know,
there's a part of me that
just thought you would change
your mind and you'd show up.
Yeah, well I'm, you know,
kind of in another country.
I'm working a lot of odd jobs
and stuff, I'm busy.
And sleeping on
strangers sofas, I hear.
Um,
well, he's not a
stranger anymore.
And, yes, we met on
a couchsurfing app,
but he's really cool.
He's not, like, some
creep or something,
and he's gay, so chill.
Okay.
So are you, like, still trying
to act or influence or--
(chuckles) Trying.
Wow, thank you so
much for the support.
[Lila] That's not
how I meant it.
I still watch all
of your videos.
I just watched the My
Summer in Paris one.
Oh, okay cool.
So I've got one viewer, woo.
Yeah, and your camera work
is getting a lot better,
and you look happy.
Well, I am happy.
Are you?
Yeah.
Or are you just a
really good actress?
[James] Well, that too.
(Lila chuckles)
Okay, so anything else, Lila?
Um.
You know, you can admit that you
have feelings about all of this.
Well, yes, I do have feelings.
Hate is a feeling, isn't it.
Don't say that.
That's true.
If she treated you the
same way she treated me,
you didn't have to stay
there and watch her unravel.
You can admit that
she was a shitty mom.
It's okay to hate someone
even though they're dead.
Hey, look, I got to go.
I got to go finish
this audition, okay?
- I'll talk to you later.
- (phone dings)
Have a good day.
(phone dings)
Shipshape.
- Accept.
- (phone dings)
(ominous music)
(lively music)
Hey, you guys, it's James,
and guess what, I'm in Paris.
(James laughs)
Welcome back to my channel.
If you're new here,
I am an American
in Paris for the next
three or four months,
and I can't wait for you guys
to join me on this journey.
Come along.
I am loving my summer so far.
Fit check.
This place, it's magical.
And I'm living with the
coolest guy named Dash.
He's fabulous.
And most nights when
he's not bar-tending
at the hippest spot in
Paris, we go dancing
and then we stuff up on the most
delectable wines and pastas.
Oh, and look at the view
from our apartment.
It has the cutest
little courtyard.
And then you walk out,
and this is our street.
(keyboard clicks)
[James] 62 views.
- [James] Yippee.
- (keyboard clicks)
(beeping)
(camera clicks)
Dash, say hi.
No.
Come on.
It's for my channel.
How would you like a camera in
your face all the time 24/7?
Oh wait, you'd love it.
I'm assuming catering
didn't go well tonight.
No.
First of all, this guy spilled
his Bloody Mary all over me,
and then I ran out of
gas on the way home.
Oh, no.
Can you imagine how
embarrassing that was?
I mean, me climbing out it with
a stained catering uniform only
to be able to fill up a fourth
of my tank with crinkled ones
that I made out of tips.
Oh, gosh.
Why don't you just tell your
dad that you like, overextended?
No, you, out of all
people, should be happy.
I'm too prideful to do that
because you'd be homeless.
Rude.
Okay, help me.
How do I get more
subscribers on my channel?
Who cares?
I care.
You know what your problem is?
You just haven't
found your voice.
Like, what is your brand?
Like, you're an actress?
You're a travel vlogger?
You're a yogi who does makeup?
I don't know.
I mean, I just want to make
content that people like.
Why don't you make
content you like?
Because I don't
know what I like.
I've been taking care of
my mom at home for years,
and now I'm finally
out and look at me.
I'm no closer to figuring
out who I am than when
I was living for somebody else.
And now you're going to live
for a bunch of strangers online?
(James scoffs)
[Dash] By the way, rents up.
Oh surprised.
About rent, so I'm just like,
a little short right now,
but I got a gig, a cleaning gig
this weekend in the countryside,
and it's supposed
to pay really well,
which is going to
be my next question.
Can I please borrow your car?
No.
Gas is so much cheaper
than the train.
And the more money I save, the
quicker I can pay you back.
What's the address?
Um...
that.
- (scoffs)
- What?
Oh, shit.
That's going to take me forever.
That's huge.
Do you know what this place is?
No, should I?
This is Murder Castle.
If you want the views, this
might be your ticket, baby.
(ominous music)
(upbeat music)
Good morning, guys.
Welcome to my channel.
Today, I'm doing a little
bit of a rebranding
because I found myself
with a unique opportunity.
So I hope you guys are
ready because today we
are going on a ghost hunt.
(camera squelches)
Okay, I admit I've never done
anything like this before,
but I've always really
liked spooky things.
My Halloween costumes have
always been like,
super legendary,
not to toot my own horn.
(camera clicking)
This video, as you see, it's
titled The No Go Chateau.
I admit I didn't really know
anything about Murder Castle
until my roommate
told me about it,
but I have done so
much research now,
and I have all of these amazing
supplies for ghost hunting.
This is an EVP I got,
Electronic Voice Phenomenon.
[Dash] So what happened
to being broke?
Um, this was like 15 bucks,
chill.
Well, I've never seen
a maid so dressed up.
I know I look cute, right.
I wanted to look
good for my channel.
At least it's not a
French maid costume.
Yeah, at least I'm
not like a nude maid.
Oh, my God.
My eyes are allergic to
breasts and vaginas, so--
Keys please.
Listen, the keychain my dad
got me is kind of sharp.
Oh.
Eiffel Tower.
Cute.
Don't make me regret this.
Thanks, Dash.
(ominous music)
(birds chirping)
All right, you guys,
we're almost there.
Murder Castle is about two
hours outside of Paris,
so it's been quite a trek,
but it's going to be worth it.
And as you guys just saw,
I put some aerial footage
of the French countryside.
Just ignore the watermark,
because I don't really--
stock footage is so
expensive, and this shit
isn't monetized yet. (chuckles)
All right.
And now, editor, which
will be yours truly,
let's insert the spooky
research portion of the video.
Give them a little
background on Murder Castle.
Bwahaha.
Whoa!
(laughs)
(static)
- (screaming)
- (creepy music)
There's no way out.
There's no electricity, no
phone, no one within miles.
So no way to call for help.
- Like your coffin.
- (static)
(speaking foreign language)
(dramatic music)
(speaking foreign
language continues)
(computer mouse clicks)
(insects chirring)
[Woman] One rumored spirit,
is Reginald Poirot.
A few years back, an
avid hunter, this man
was often known to disappear
for days at a time,
- pursuing the perfect kill.
- (static)
Shhh (speaks French).
His last known whereabouts
were, you guessed it,
the woods near the chateau.
Now, there are
many more specters
rumored to haunt these halls,
but perhaps the property's most
famous ghost is Pia Monroe.
[Woman] One day in 1986,
she was out walking her
beloved Baguette.
When, according
to an eyewitness,
the dog slipped out of
his harness and bolted.
Pia chased him,
apparently all the way here.
And after that, she nor the
dog were ever seen again.
- (door opens)
- (man speaks indistinctly)
Oh, shit let's go.
- (static)
- All right,
so the interesting thing
about Murder Castle compared
to other, you know, supposed
haunted houses is
that there's no evidence that
anybody actually died there.
Cops have scoured the
place over and over again,
and all these people,
they've just vanished.
So let's go see if
we can find them.
(horn honking)
Geez, dick.
(static)
All right, you guys,
I have a little
pit stop before we get there.
I was able to track
down a former gardener.
- Wish me luck.
- (phone ringing)
Sorry.
(knocking)
(tense music)
Yes.
Hi.
Are you Fleur Prescott?
Yes.
Hi.
My name is James.
I was wondering if
you'd be willing to talk
to me about your time
at Murder Castle.
I'd be delighted to.
How is my hair?
It's beautiful.
And the sweater?
I could change.
No, no, no.
It's perfect.
Okay.
This is truly so
wonderful for me.
I can't tell you
how many times I
have tried to tell my story
to those who could help,
primarily the cops,
but no one listens.
All right well,
let's dive right in.
You want to go ahead
and introduce yourself?
(Fleur sighs)
Fleur Prescott.
Thank you, Fleur.
And tell us, what is your
connection to Murder Castle.
I was hired to do some
gardening one summer.
What happened?
Well, at first I
thought I was alone,
but on the very
first day, I started
seeing people peering out
from windows, walking past
from the corner of my eye.
And then this young woman, she,
she approached me and asked me
if I had seen her dog.
And why was that strange?
Well, I recognized her.
The woman, I had
seen her on the news.
She went missing.
Pia.
Exactly.
So naturally, I hightailed
it out of there,
and I told the police.
And what did they say?
(tense music)
They laughed at me.
They laughed?
Yes, dear.
They laughed because Pia went
missing nearly 20 years earlier.
I told them she was young,
mid-20s at the latest,
and they just laughed and said
that she would be in her 40s
by now.
And then how did
you interpret that?
What you experienced there?
I didn't have to
interpret anything.
It was clear.
She was a ghost.
They all were.
Be sure to let me know when I
can watch the video, will you?
Maybe I'll throw
a viewing party.
Definitely will do.
Can I ask what made you
dig into this story?
Well, I'm going there.
I've been hired to
clean the place.
I don't want to give you this.
Don't go to that place.
It's evil monologue.
But just know, not
all of those spirits
are simply looking
for a lost dog.
I believe the house
is collecting souls,
so don't be one of them.
(thunder rumbles)
(phone ringing)
Shitty service will
take care of that.
[GPS] The destination
is on your left.
The owner said they'd leave
the gate open for me.
Based on all the videos
and blogs I've seen,
this is where all you would be
ghost hunters would
have to turn back.
But not me.
(screaming)
(static)
Thank you.
Sorry, I don't--
I don't, I don't
have any cash.
- No cash.
- (thunder rumbles)
Sorry.
So creepy.
What the heck is he doing
al the way out here?
(static)
Just like that the rain starts.
Of course.
(thunder rumbles)
Oh, my God.
This is crazy.
(static)
(thunder rumbles)
It's huge.
We're here.
(exhales)
(static)
(static)
Very few people have been
through that door, at least
those who have lived
to tell the tale.
Stay tuned as you see a
peek behind the curtain.
- (door creaks open)
- Oh shit.
(static)
Hi, bonjour.
[Andrea] Bonjour.
- Can I help you?
- Uh.
Yeah, I'm James from
Shipshape, the app.
[Andrea] James?
I was expecting a man.
Yeah, I get that a lot.
[Andrea] Only joking.
I read your profile.
Andrea Bardot,
welcome.
I appreciate you
coming all this way.
Yeah, it's my pleasure.
- [Andrea] Please come in.
- (static)
Oh wow.
This is huge.
[Andrea] It's been in the
family for quite some time.
I have some business in
the city this weekend,
so thought it would be a good
time to tidy the place up.
My husband liked to keep
it spotless after he spent
so much time on renovations.
Oh yeah.
So you're, you're married?
[Andrea] Widowed, sadly.
Oh I'm, I'm so sorry.
(static)
So you live alone then?
[Andrea] You could say that.
So you are American?
Yeah, I'm just
here for the summer
and decided to stay
through the autumn too.
It's cold.
[Andrea] Please set your things
down and I'll show you around.
- Sure.
- (static)
[Andrea] Why don't we
start upstairs?
Your profile, it mentioned
that you're fresh as a daisy.
No friends or family?
[James] I guess I'm just trying
to reconnect with myself.
[Andrea] As you'll see, there
are a number of common spaces--
seven bathrooms
and eight bedrooms.
In this closet are
the fresh linens,
and you will find
your room right here
at the top of the stairs.
- (static)
- (ominous music)
Oh, my God.
Wait until you guys
see this place.
It's crazy.
I wasn't expecting it to
be so beautiful, but it is.
I'm trying to be quiet
because I don't want the owner
to see me or see the cameras.
Did you guys hear
what she said when
I was like, so you live alone?
She was like, you
could say that.
She's talking about ghosts?
Okay, I'm going to go.
So she doesn't think
that I'm taking a number two.
Okay.
Fake flush.
(toilet flushes)
Well, I believe I've given you
all the cleaning instructions.
I'll get out of your hair.
I'll return tomorrow
evening, so in the meantime,
if you need anything or have any
questions, feel free to call me.
Number's on the fridge.
[James] All right, will do.
Thank you.
[Andrea] Oh, and you'll find out
that service is spotty out here,
so there's a landline in the
attic, should you need it.
[James] Sorry, you
said the attic?
[Andrea] It's odd,
I know.
It's just that the ringing
sets off my migraines,
so I relocated it somewhere
it wouldn't be a bother.
Well, I'm off.
[James] All right,
have a great time.
(door closes)
Interesting chick.
(ominous music)
Oops.
- (footsteps above)
- (floor creaking)
Who could that be?
(ominous music)
(door creaks)
[Andrea] I forget to
tell you that
the pantry is
fully stocked.
Help yourself to anything.
[James] Thank you,
thank you so much.
[Andrea] You're, you're filming?
I was just trying to video chat
my sister, but you're right,
service is really spotty.
[Andrea] I do
apologize about that.
Well, now I'm really off.
[James] Take care.
(static)
(phone beeps)
(gentle upbeat music)
All right, you guys,
the owner is gone.
Let me show you something.
Look at this.
Hands free. (laughs)
How hilarious is this?
I found it online.
It was, it was really expensive,
but I'm just going
to return it afterwards.
Shhh.
And I've got this app, too.
It's called Flipvid.
It gets front facing and back
facing camera at the same time.
Shout out Flipvid, if you
wanna collab after this.
And then most
importantly, I've got
this light for all the other
darker areas of the property.
So bright.
And here's my room.
Check it.
I was so surprised.
I didn't think that there
would be a room this cute.
Look at that chandelier.
- (light flickers)
- Flickering light.
That's weird.
All right, oh,
and the footsteps earlier,
before you guys write me off
as an amateur, just
know that I searched
every single square
inch of this floor
and I didn't find anything.
So for now, we're just
going to say old pipes.
Innocent until proven guilty.
This Murder Castle.
All right.
It's time for the grand tour.
(upbeat creepy music)
(static)
Whoa. (laughs)
Sun is out, but
it's still freezing.
(birds chirping)
Oh. here we go.
Look at this.
Shutters definitely
need some work. (chuckles)
Oof.
I think there's something like
40,000 chateaus in France.
(static)
Look, treehouse.
I want to see it.
Oh.
I always wanted a
treehouse when I was a kid.
(static)
Uh, this property is huge.
There are so many things to see.
I was going to
say, I wonder what
they're growing in here,
but just shrubs, clearly.
Look at the ceiling.
(ominous music)
It's so--
Hello.
Hello who's there?
Excuse me.
What?
Hello.
Bonjour.
Bonjour.
Oh it's okay,
you can come in.
Oh, no, no, no.
No, really, it's okay.
No, I don't go there.
Au revoir.
Weren't you just--
Ooh, let's go check that out.
Interior dark barn day.
I can test out my lights here.
(wood creaking)
So much crap in here.
What is that?
(tense music)
Oh, okay.
Oh, my gosh.
My God.
I am spooking myself.
Okay, all right, that's
enough barn for me.
Oh my gosh.
Look what I found.
There's donkeys.
Hi.
Can I pet you?
Oh my gosh.
Hi.
Hi, baby.
Oh, look at the little bangs.
(static)
Okay, when I was
doing my research,
I found these really
creepy pictures.
How funny is this?
Okay, I'm going to show
you on my laptop.
You recognize something?
Look at that.
I found the same spot.
You guys see this?
Hmm.
Like she's clearly
overlapping such bad editing,
so that's obviously fake.
But now we are going to get
to the real spooky stuff.
(ominous music)
Gotta fix my lipstick
before the next shot.
- (lips smack)
- (chuckles)
There's a quote.
It's like, during the day,
I don't believe in ghosts.
At night, I'm a little
bit more open minded.
It's definitely me right now.
Okay, guys.
EVP.
If you're a true ghost hunter,
you already know what this is.
But if you don't, it basically
picks up on spirits talking.
I found this recording
online that's
claims to be from Murder Castle.
So, let me show you
what it's all about.
(computer mouse clicks)
(tense music)
(speaking indistinctly)
[James] 17.
What could that mean?
(static)
Let's go see if
anyone's feeling chatty.
Gonna set the mood first.
It's got some red lights.
All right, let's see.
(EVP beeps)
Are there any
spirits in this room?
Did you die in this home?
Are you friendly?
Do you want me here?
Okay.
Let's listen to it back.
(EVP beeps)
Are there any
spirits in this room?
Did you die in this home?
Are you friendly?
Do you want me here?
(EVP beeps)
Whew, okay.
Thank God.
Oh wait, I have an idea.
(EVP beeps)
Okay, so I boosted the
volume of the recording
because in all the
videos I've seen,
people seem to only
hear communications
from the spirit world when
the sound is amplified.
So, here we go.
(computer mouse clicks)
Are there any
spirits in this room?
Did you die in this home?
Are you friendly?
(man laughing)
That's weird.
Do you want me here?
[Man] Do you want to die?
[James] Did that just say
what I think it said?
I'm going to turn the
volume up even more.
(computer mouse clicking)
[Man] Do you want to die?
Do you want to die?
- (dramatic music)
- (static)
[James] What was that?
(light switch clicking)
Of course.
(tense music)
Okay.
That's really weird.
I asked the spirits,
do you want me here?
And now the front door is open.
So if that's not a sign,
I don't know what is.
So this has been
really fun, guys,
but I'm going to
pack my shit and go.
(static)
(screaming)
Shit.
I don't have the keys.
Holy crap, you guys.
I have to admit, I
did not think anything
was going to happen here.
(panting)
(trees creaking)
(panting)
Oh, my God.
(panting)
I see a light.
Wait a second.
How did I end up back here?
No.
(panting)
Okay.
I don't understand.
I'm right back where I started?
- (screams)
- (computer mouse clicks)
It's so good, right?
I've been editing it
throughout the day.
The jump scare totally
works, I think.
No but the whole like running
away and ending up back
at the house thing, that's been
done in like every horror film.
So what?
And this mask, has
totally messed up my hair.
No, but it looks
so good on camera.
Look.
So at this point, we're
letting the viewers
know we faked the ghosts.
Kind of kills the mystery.
No, because I was thinking,
even if nothing else happens,
the entire time that I'm here,
which come on, let's be honest,
nothing's going to
happen, then at least we
can start the video with a bang.
Yeah, but what if the
owner sees the video?
She's going to be pissed that
you didn't ask for permission.
Dude, she has a landline.
I doubt she's online
watching influencer's videos.
Okay, so you are an
influencer now.
Yeah, I'm a micro influencer.
[James] Isn't this editing
software so good?
It's so easy to use.
My sister got it for me.
I love it.
That, that Fleur chick,
she was amazing.
I know.
Dude, she was willing
to do it for free.
Found her on a casting site.
She just wanted
demo reel footage.
(keyboard cicks)
She was a ghost.
- They all were.
- (keyboard clicks)
Oh, what about the delivery guy?
Oh, no, that guy, he was real.
- (static)
- Based on all the vlogs
and videos I've seen,
this is where all you would
be ghost hunters would--
Dash, you're in the frame.
- Okay.
- Dash get down.
The owner is going to
see you, seriously.
Oh my god, you're so demanding.
And I'm supposed to look
like I by myself in here.
(both chuckling)
I also have some content of me
putting on that ghost getup,
if you want it.
Okay, but I have to show
you one more video first.
[James] Come on,
shake it and let's go.
You have to film everything?
[James] Don't worry.
I don't think the zoom is
strong enough to pick up
your little naughty bits.
Listen, you need a wide angle
lens for all of this, baby.
Okay?
(static)
Maybe I should split
the video in half,
like post the first episode,
get everybody really
hyped thinking it's
real, and then we
can post a second episode
explaining how we did it,
and then everybody will think
that I'm a really good actress.
Or do you think it will go
more viral if we just post it
as a real, genuine haunting?
Hmm.
Oh, well I forgot to show
you something.
What?
Okay, so, earlier, I was
going through my footage,
- Uh huh.
- and I noticed something.
Did you find something?
Yeah, if you zoom in
here, you just see--Bang!
Oh, my gosh.
I look amazing.
Oh my God.
You get me every single time.
So you thought I was going
to zoom in something scary,
but you know the only scary
thing is how sexy I look.
Stupid, you're so stupid.
Gosh, you know what, it's fine.
You're helping me so much.
Thank you, seriously thank you
for coming and doing
this with me.
Bitch listen, I only came here
to see the inside of this place,
but honestly, it's
not even that creepy.
It's kind of a let
down, actually.
Well yeah, it's because it's
not actually abandoned.
Somebody lives here, and
we still have to clean it.
We? (chuckles)
You're not going to help me.
Hell, no.
First of all, I have a gig
first thing in the morning.
And can you imagine if she
showed up and saw me here?
No, no.
But I am gonna stay for
one last attempt at real ghost
hunting, after I take a piss.
Love you.
I'll be back.
All right.
Have fun.
Meet me downstairs, okay?
(urine splashing)
James is gonna
love this. (chuckles)
(zipper zipping)
(toilet flushes)
(water running)
(tense music)
(floor creaking)
[Dash] Very funny, James.
James.
James.
What the?
James.
[James] I'm downstairs.
Hey, baby.
Oh, my God.
Dash.
I want to weasel
into your pants. (gags)
Ewww!
- [Dash] Look at this.
- Dude, be careful.
That's taxidermy.
- Give him a kiss.
- It's super expensive.
That, that is a sick
little-- (gags)
Our little buddy.
You know those were
alive at one time.
I mean, I am aware.
All right, here we go.
Lights off for the atmosphere.
Oh, atmosphere.
All right so,
you know some weird moves
from your older yoga videos,
yeah?
Dash, where are you
going with this?
Okay, so I was thinking we
take some shots of you, like,
doing these weird, twisty,
bendy contortion moves like--
(groaning)
- Yeah.
- People find that shit
- so freaky.
- Yeah with this?
With this sexy,
big, ol' harness on?
Yeah, with that.
Oh yeah, that'll, that'll
really, that'll really go viral.
- It's a good look.
- (both laughing)
- You really love it.
- Wait, wait.
Or why don't you do it since
you love Downward Dog so much.
Oh!
Gladly, it's my specialty.
(moaning)
No, for real, the way you
doctored that recording earlier,
genius.
I mean I had to.
This EVP stuff is
literally bullshit.
- It's a scam.
- (EVP beeps)
Okay, ask.
Is there a spirit in this room?
Come on, let's go over here.
All right, um,
did anyone die in this house?
Come here.
(door creaking)
[James] Are you friendly?
(door opens)
Come on.
Do you want this ass?
Oh, oh, oh.
(both laughing)
[Dash] If there are any spirits
they're gonna kill us.
Yeah, they do,
yeah, they do.
- Like for real.
- Okay, wait, wait.
Let's, let's do it, let's
do it together.
[Dash] All right wait.
[Both] Do you want us here?
Okay, play it back full volume.
- (EVP beeps)
- [James] It's all the way up.
[Dash] Okay.
[James] Is there a
spirit in this room?
[Dash] Did anyone die
in his house?
[James] Are you friendly?
[Dash] Do you want
this ass? Oh, oh, oh.
(both laughing)
[Dash] If there are any spirits
they're gonna kill us.
[James] Yeah, they do.
Yeah, they do.
- [Dash] Like for real.
- [James] Okay, wait, wait.
Let's, let's do it, let's
do it together.
[Dash] All right wait.
[Both] Do you want us here?
- (blows raspberry)
- Whoa!
- (laughing)
- Oh, my God.
Dash, are you kidding me?
- You are so--
- Again?
So easy to scare you.
I keep falling for that.
Gosh.
Guys, she's the scared-iest
cat in the whole world.
No, I'm not.
I'm not afraid.
I don't believe in
this like he does.
Yes, she does, she does.
Gosh.
- Okay, so once again, nothing.
- (EVP beeps)
Well, lame.
Ooh, EVP is bullshit.
All right, you
guys, well, do not
forget to like and subscribe
to the most boring video ever.
(camera beeps)
All right.
Keys.
Gladly.
This stupid thing
keeps poking me anyway.
I warned you.
Yeah, you actually did.
Okay, well.
Are you sure you
don't want to stay?
There's like eight bedrooms.
Are you telling me that
you're afraid to stay
in this big, bad house alone?
No.
It's okay.
I'll let it slide.
Okay, well, I'm going to
be here to scoop you up
tomorrow, so just call me.
With what?
There's no Wi-Fi or service.
Can you imagine if we planned a
live stream, I'd be so screwed?
Could you imagine how many
people wouldn't have watched it?
You shush-- you shush up.
Listen, you can use
the landline.
Unh unh.
I draw the line at going
up to the spooky attic.
Well, then just go
during the day, then.
Well, I offered some options.
Okay, whatever.
All right, ta ta.
Au revoir.
Are you okay?
Yeah, I'm fine.
I'll be all good, don't worry.
I mean, like, I know
you're fine here but,
like the, the mom stuff.
Ah.
Dash, I'm holding up.
- Thanks.
- Okay.
I feel like I need to
hug right now, but--
- Yeah, you want to hug me?
- Yeah.
You want to hug
me, with my, with my device?
Okay.
It's a weapon of
mass destruction.
Okay, all right.
I'm going now, I'm going outside
[James] Okay.
Wait, Dash, please don't
forget to record yourself
on the way out.
I really want to edit that in.
I got you.
[James] Woo.
But you will owe me residuals.
No contract, no deal.
Then you will be
hearing from my lawyers.
[James] Okay, have them call me.
Bye.
Be safe.
[James] Bye.
(door closes)
All right.
Just you and
me now. (chuckles)
Or just me and the house.
(sighs)
Okay, I definitely don't
feel like cleaning yet.
(static)
- I could go check the EVP.
- (EVP beeps)
Ooh.
Okay, I am filming myself,
James.
Happy?
(breathes deeply)
Oh my God, it's so creepy.
- (tense music)
- (insects chirring)
Ooh, spooky.
Have fun in there,
all alone tonight.
[Both] Do you want us here?
- (James sighs)
- (computer mouse clicks)
[James] Boosted the sound.
I know that we're here for ghost
hunting, but I got to admit,
I'm a little relieved that
there's not anything on there.
(static)
What was that?
(phone ringing)
(ominous music)
(phone ringing)
Well, I guess I'm going
up to the attic.
Oh shit.
(chuckles) It's kind of funny.
(static)
Usually, when I'm on video,
there's another man present.
And we're both naked.
All right.
(car alarm chirps)
Whew.
All righty.
Okay.
(engine starts)
(ominous music)
(phone ringing)
(phone ringing)
Might be the owner calling.
(phone ringing)
So cold in here.
(phone ringing)
Okay, I'm coming,
I'm coming.
(phone ringing)
Hello.
Hello.
Is anyone there?
[Mother] Jamesie.
Who is this?
Why didn't you come see me?
I called you every week.
I tried to fix things,
but you wouldn't answer.
You never answered.
Is this is some kind of prank?
They put me in a box, Jamesie.
Painted me up like a doll.
They fixed me up so well, you
couldn't even see the hole
in the back of my skull.
Dash.
Dash, was that you?
If that was you,
that's not cool.
(tense music)
Okay.
So I don't know what that was.
(phone ringing)
I'm not answering that again.
(phone ringing)
That's just a little bit too
much communication for me.
(phone ringing)
[Dash] Oh, it's dark
over here.
All right James, you better
hope this is worth it,
and that your video takes off
because this driving ain't it.
(static)
What's with that?
All right, James,
you screwing with me?
- (static)
- I, am gonna kill you.
Woo, okay.
All right, well, that's
enough filming for me.
Dash signing off.
- (dramatic music)
- (door opens)
(camera beeps)
Isn't this cute?
Probably gonna have to come
out with some merch of my own
after all of this.
Probably do, like a spooky
old landline as a logo, huh.
(sighs)
(fingers tapping phone)
[James] Out.
- Oh, there she is.
- Hi, hello.
Oh, my God.
You look so hot.
Really, too much, too little?
No, it's perfect.
It's so perfect.
Are you sure I
should go out tonight?
Yes, oh, my gosh.
It's your best
friend's birthday.
You have to have
some sort of life.
I know.
Okay, okay.
Which earrings?
- Left for sure.
- Left.
- Hoops, hoops, hoops, hoops.
- Okay.
- Thank you.
- Okay, say hi.
Is this what I have to do?
Now it is to be famous,
is just show--
- And wear nothing--
- Yes, that's right.
- (laughing) Oh gosh.
- Oh.
(bell ringing)
[Mother] Girls.
Girls.
God, I've been ringing
this thing forever.
[Lila] Okay.
Listen, if you could just be a
little bit patient with her.
She doesn't feel good.
Don't look at me like that.
Coming, Mom.
(gentle music)
(ominous music)
(sighs) Okay.
Well, there's no way I could
fall asleep right now, so.
Let's go downstairs and see if
I can find something, like wine.
(chuckles)
(camera beeps)
Update, made it to the kitchen.
I was looking everywhere
because I thought
they might have a wine
cellar and maybe I missed it,
but no, no wine cellar.
But it's okay.
If I didn't like
the attic, I doubt
I would like the
basement either.
But I did find a
half bottle of wine.
So let's get this party started.
Hmm, oh.
An old radio.
Let's see if it works.
- (radio clicks)
- (radio tuning)
(upbeat music playing)
(music becomes ominous)
(static)
(birds chirping)
(dramatic music)
(camera beeps)
Pain au chocolat.
(chuckles)
Morning, guys.
I'm so freaking tired.
I stayed up way too
late last night.
I think I drank too
much wine, but I
did get a lot of cleaning
done, so that's good,
and I still woke up early
to get that really cool time
lapse for you guys,
so hope you enjoy it.
Oh, and I've been holding
out on you guys,
so I found some footage
online before I left Paris.
Someone clearly flew a
drone over the property.
Isn't it epic?
I think I've had enough of this.
I've got a lot more
cleaning to do.
It's just a little bit
too sweet for my taste.
What the heck?
(tense music)
(door creaks)
There's nothing.
- (door closes)
- (static)
Let's do some dusting.
So much cool stuff in here.
Blah.
Ooh.
So pretty.
The attic windows
can just stay dirty.
These look like they've
never been cleaned before.
All right.
Last room, the
master's quarters.
She said I can only go in
to go change the sheets, so.
Oh, it's so dark.
Think I'm gonna open these.
Oh.
Much better.
(ominous music)
Unh unh, no, absolutely not.
Nope, unh unh, we're
not doing that.
Okay.
Much better.
Oh.
Let's see.
Oh, wow.
Hmm.
That must be the husband.
So old school.
Gonna make this
bed real quick.
(static)
- (camera beeps)
- (birds chirping)
Hey, guys.
I'm all done cleaning, woo.
Cleaning is complete.
Just doing a little walk.
Honestly, don't know what
time the owner is coming back
because she actually
didn't tell me, so.
Dash.
Dash.
Dash, are you still here?
What?
No keys.
What?
Okay.
That's super weird.
Ah...
It's 1:00 PM.
Dash said he had a
catering gig this morning, so.
Oh, my gosh.
He knew that he was going
to play this prank on me
this whole time.
Are you kidding me?
Dash.
Okay!
You let me go a whole night
thinking I was by myself?
Gosh, what the heck?
[Pia] Who are you talking to?
[James] I...
I was just recording myself.
Who are you?
- I'm looking for my dog.
- (static)
Have you seen him?
Actually, yeah.
I may have.
It was earlier this morning.
I don't know where he
could have gone, though.
He can be tricky.
Baguette.
Baguette, you here, boy?
Baguette?
I know, it's a silly name.
No, it's just-- wait,
what was your name?
Will you help me look for him?
- (footsteps receding)
- (tense music)
[James] What the heck?
- She's...
- (door rattles)
(light clicks)
Nothing.
[Pia] Baguette?
Did you find him?
(static)
(screaming)
(gasps)
(tense music)
(door creaking)
Hello.
Where'd you go?
Hello.
Look, I'm really
sorry about your dog.
I'm happy to help you look, but
this isn't actually my house,
so I can't just, you know have
you walking around on your own.
(ominous music)
- (camera beeps)
- Hey, you guys.
I'm,
still here. (chuckles)
Uh, still no sign of
the owner, but I'm
sitting out here with all my
crap out here waiting for her.
(thunder rumbles)
Of course, it's
fricking raining.
- (James sighs)
- (rain pattering)
I thought about
calling her, but I
don't want to go back up to
that creepy attic room again.
Um...
So I can't find
the keys anywhere.
Thought about walking.
But in the middle
of freaking nowhere,
I don't even know which
way I would even go.
Um...
So I can't find Dash.
Or that weird dog girl.
Um...
It's just getting
a little weird,
but um, I'm gonna stick
it out because, well, I
need the check, and um...
I promised you guys that
you would have content.
So, I'm bringing you
the ghost hunt.
So.
(clattering)
[James] Dash.
I just heard something.
Dash.
Dash.
(door creaking)
(tense music)
I'm not falling for that again.
- (static)
- (screaming)
(static)
Hey.
Hey, help.
Help.
(static)
Oh, no.
(static)
(screaming)
(gun fires)
- (birds squawking)
- (static)
Oh, my God!
(static)
- (static)
- Holy shit!
Oh my--
(screaming)
(door slams)
- (static)
- (door locks)
- (static)
- (camera beeps)
(door rattling)
(door rattling)
Bonjour.
Who are you?
Parles-tu franais?
No.
English.
Ah.
I am Reggie.
(chuckles)
Reggie?
Oh, that wouldn't happen to be
short for Reginald, would it?
It is, in fact, Reginald Poirot.
Yeah, the hunter, right?
What, did Dash put
you up to this?
Dash?
Oh, no, no.
He's not been one for
jokes since he joined us.
I think he's still getting
used to his new situation.
Oh, yeah, you mean being dead?
Eh.
Like the window washer out here.
Um, yeah, and the girl, Pia.
Oh, don't mind her.
She's like a broken record.
Always looking
for that damn dog.
(scoffs)
[Reggie] She's kind of like
your mother that way.
[Reggie] Hmm.
What did you say?
Well, wouldn't you agree?
Always going on and on
about not calling her back.
How you abandoned her.
(tense music)
I didn't abandon her.
Okay, this is seriously sick.
Go get Dash.
Can't blame her for
how she did it, though.
Guns are the quickest way to go.
(thunder rumbles)
Get away from the door.
I'm gonna call the police.
(chuckles) Will you?
I don't think you want
to go up there again, hmm.
Please, leave me alone.
(thunder rumbles)
(insects chirring)
(camera beeps)
Hey, you guys.
Uh, so, I'm going through
footage because I'm
trying to distract myself
because I don't want
to go back out there with him.
Um...
And I was looking at
a time lapse video
that I took on my first night
here when I was sleeping,
and I found something
really weird.
Look.
(keyboard clicks)
(ominous music)
(keyboard clicks)
Who the hell is that?
Okay, and I found her
in a second video.
Yesterday while I was filming
the tour, I rigged my phone
and I dangled it
down the staircase.
This place is, like
three stories tall,
so I thought that this
would be cool way
to see another
view of the house.
But look closely.
Did you see?
It's her again.
You know, of course, I want to
say that it's Dash in a wig,
but the reality is I just don't
think that Dash is here anymore.
And I want to call
the cops, but I
don't want to get
him in trouble,
and I don't know what to do.
What do they do in
Horror movies?
They just hide under the
covers when they're freaked out.
Well, as I expected,
a paper thin sheet
does not make me feel any safer.
- (ominous music)
- (static)
[Ma] Oh baby.
Oh, baby.
Oh, my baby.
Who are you?
(static)
(bell ringing)
Mom.
Go.
(tense music)
That definitely
wasn't Dash in a wig.
(static)
(gunshot)
(gasps)
- (static)
- (bell ringing)
(tense music)
(phone ringing)
- It's not her.
- (phone ringing)
It's not really my mom.
(phone ringing)
(door creaking)
(phone ringing)
(phone ringing)
(phone ringing)
(phone ringing)
[Mother] Jamesie, it's
wonderful on this side.
It's so quiet.
Who the hell is this?
It's your mother.
No.
No, it's not.
What makes you say that?
Because my mother's dead.
She was buried yesterday.
Then why is she
standing behind you?
(screaming)
(screaming)
(tense music)
[Mother] Come on, Jamesie.
Don't you want to give
your mother a goodbye kiss?
(door creaking)
(screaming)
(panting)
[James] Dash.
Dash.
Oh.
Oh!
Dash.
Get me out of here.
No.
No.
[Dash] James.
We're not gonna
let you leave, James.
Dash.
One bar.
(whimpering)
(phone line trilling)
[Mother] 911, what's
your emergency?
- Oh my God.
- (static)
Help me, my friend, he's dead.
I'm stuck in Murder Castle,
and I can't get out.
Please, ma'am, calm down.
You said you're stranded?
Yeah, I can't find my keys.
Why don't you make a run for it?
Because the door is stuck.
Well, you could always
go back upstairs.
What did you say?
[Multiple voices] Why don't
you go back up to the attic
and let mother take care of you?
(phone clicks)
[Dash] They don't have
911 in France.
It's 17 here.
It's just a house.
It's tricky here.
Have you seen my dog?
Screw you and your dog.
If you want a easy way out,
I can lend you my rifle.
Please, why won't
you let me leave?
(camera beeps)
So, I certainly can't deny that
something weird is
going on here.
I mean, not just weird.
I mean, this place is genuinely
and thoroughly haunted.
(static)
I'm starting to worry that
maybe the owner is not
gonna come back.
Um, that maybe she knew
this was gonna happen
and left me here.
It feels like these ghosts, they
need a soul to trap and torment,
and I've been left as the proxy.
And I saw my mom.
I talked to her up there,
and she died three days ago.
And Dash, I mean, I thought
I finally had a story
that people would care about.
I thought you guys would all
want to see Murder Castle,
and I thought that, I through
some crazy twist of fate,
got the golden ticket,
and it turns out
all the stories are really true.
- (door opens)
- Bonsoir.
Oh, you're still filming.
Yeah, yeah, I am.
The house's reputation
precedes itself, I see.
It's all right to be curious.
Many people are.
Um,
so I'm actually done cleaning,
and um, everything's all set.
Thank you so much.
Wait, I need to
write you a check.
And don't you want an interview?
An interview?
With me for your video?
You would do that?
Perhaps it's time
I break my silence.
(door creaking, closes)
There you go.
Thank you.
I apologize about the coffee.
I can never get it just right.
No, no, it's totally fine.
I'm kind of a wuss with
coffee, but I definitely
need the energy, um...
All right, let's begin.
You've been through something.
Oh, yeah.
It's been a pretty
crazy weekend.
I meany, in life.
It, it radiates off of you.
The pain.
Okay, no, no, no, no.
You're the one in the hot seat.
You share, I share.
Okay.
My mom, um, she passed
away recently.
I wasn't there, um...
We weren't really that close.
She was a very hateful woman.
Um...
My dad, he left us
when we were kids
and uh, kind of did something
to her and her psyche,
- and she was never the same.
- (gentle music)
After that, she would
always just like, lash out
at my sister and I.
Nothing we ever did
was good enough.
It was always just
tearing us down.
Oh, and now you seek
affirmation through--
Yes, views and subscribers.
I know it's very pathetic.
And what happened to her?
How did she die?
It was cancer.
Um...
It kind of just got way too
unbearable for me to see,
so I just had to leave.
I guess the pain just
became unbearable
because she swallowed a bullet.
She did it in the shower,
so she was at least
thoughtful with the cleanup,
right?
Uh...
But yeah, she didn't leave
a suicide note or anything,
but she did leave me a,
a voicemail that I just
haven't been able to
listen to it because
you know, what if she blames me?
Well, that's quite a story.
Yeah, so back to you.
Um...
So have you ever, you know seen
or experienced anything here?
Anything supernatural?
Of course I have.
After all, I've put
many of them here.
(ominous music)
What do you mean by that?
I killed them.
Oh well, some of them.
And my father before me and his
father before that, and it's
been happening for centuries.
Is this some kind of joke?
Oh, no, no, it's not a joke.
Okay.
You're freaking me out a little.
Good.
It likes you better
when you're scared.
It?
The house.
You didn't bring
me here to clean.
I'm sorry about the coffee.
I can never get the
mixture just right.
I hope I haven't
given you too much.
[Andrea] Oh, James.
I needed someone.
Someone with no connection.
Someone who was alone
in life, and, well,
that no one would miss.
(camera beeps)
(keyboard clicks)
[James] What's going on?
Thought I'd save the battery up
for you until you come around.
The house, it
demands sacrifices.
We don't know why.
We just know that it does.
Maybe an ancestor made
a deal with the devil.
Or maybe it was built
on cursed ground.
But it doesn't really
matter now, right?
It's just,
it's just what must be done to
preserve the bloodline.
Houses don't eat people.
You've seen things
here, right, James?
Don't deny it.
Yeah, the souls of the innocent
people that you and your family
have murdered.
(chuckles) So you have
met the residents.
I'm not surprised.
Some are more shy than others.
Pia, oh, my God.
Pia, she can be
a nag, can't she?
Where's my dog?
Where's my dog?
And the window washer, picked
him up on the side of the road.
All it took to get him here
was the promise of a warm meal.
Hmm, didn't mention it would
be poisoned, though.
What about Ma?
Did she tuck you
into bed last night?
- Ma?
- Well, she's not my own mother.
Ma is just what I
decided to call her.
She was with child at
the time of her demise.
I guess she still get
that motherly instinct.
(scraping)
(sighs) Don't mind him.
My husband.
You killed your own husband?
Is it killing, if you just
lock the pantry door,
stranding him with plenty
of food, but, but no water.
Hmm?
Don't you dare look
at me like that.
Do you think I
wanted to do this?
He found out, about my family.
Our legacy.
Needless to say that, he didn't
approve, so I had no choice.
(tense music)
Oh, and did they drive you
mad with that old phone?
Some of them like to
communicate through it.
I'm not sure why.
You've heard about the
connections between spirits
and electronics, I assume.
Ah, it can get quite disruptive
ringing all hours of the night.
What if this killing
is all for nothing?
What if this curse
isn't even real?
Even so, I'd rather
not find out.
Okay, but the bodies, you know,
where do you put them
if, if the police
never found them?
The house.
The house swallowed them all.
(James grunts)
The doors are locked.
You'd never make it out, even
if your hands were unbound.
(tense music)
I found him.
(whimpering)
(panting)
[Reggie] I can lend
you my rifle.
(door creaking)
(softly) Shit, Shit.
(soft ominous music)
(static)
(scraping)
(gasps)
(static)
(static)
For me?
Dash.
(softly) Thank you.
(static)
(screaming)
(static)
[Andrea] You found his things,
did you?
(James screaming, panting)
You killed Dash.
I did.
So wouldn't he count as
one of your sacrifices?
I guess you're right.
I guess I should
cut you free then.
Yes.
- (banging)
- (radio playing music)
(James screaming)
I'm only joking.
You know too much now.
Two for the price of
one, just like with Ma.
(chuckles)
You enjoy this.
You could have killed me
earlier, but you didn't.
I would have finished
it all sooner,
but I'm not stupid, James.
I realized you brought
a friend with you.
Now it's your time to
join him and your mother.
(slashing)
(James groans)
(blood splattering)
(Andrea gurgling)
I guess the house got its
sacrifice after all.
(radio playing music fades)
(door creaking open)
Do you get it now why they
wouldn't let you leave?
[James] They wanted me to
get her confession.
Goodbye, James.
Bye, Dash.
(phone ringing)
[Mother's voicemail]
It's me, Mom.
I understand why
you didn't pick up,
And why you probably
won't even listen to this,
but if for some reason you do,
if one day your hate for me
isn't quite as strong
as it is today,
I just want to say I'm sorry.
I could have been much better.
Much better for you
and your sister.
And I'm so grateful you never
came home to see me this way.
So, I guess that's it.
Bye Jamesie.
I'd hate me too.
But maybe now, I can only hope
you hate me a little less.
(voicemail ends)
(gentle music)
(finger taps)
(creaking)
(gentle music)
(light clicks)
(phone dial spinning)
What was it again?
The house swallowed them all.
(gentle music)
(gentle music intensifies)
(dramatic music)
(computer mouse clicking)
(whoosh)
- (computer mouse clicking)
- (keyboard clicking)
(computer mouse clicking)
(computer mouse clicking)
(screaming)
It was just a nightmare.
Oh my gosh.
It felt so real, like
there was somebody
in my room next to my bed.
I saw someone like a human
form backlit by the lumen, lu--
Ah, shit.
What's the line?
The luminescent moon trickling
through the gauzy curtains
shrouding my window.
Oh, it's a stupid line.
Okay, again.
(clears throat)
- Ah--
- (phone ringing)
Oh shit.
Hello.
- Hey.
- Hey.
I didn't think you'd answer.
Yeah, I didn't mean to.
I wasn't sure if you
were still awake.
What's the time
difference over there?
[James] No, it's only
like 10:00 PM.
[Lila] Well, it's 1:00 PM here.
The funeral is at
3:00, and I don't know,
there's a part of me that
just thought you would change
your mind and you'd show up.
Yeah, well I'm, you know,
kind of in another country.
I'm working a lot of odd jobs
and stuff, I'm busy.
And sleeping on
strangers sofas, I hear.
Um,
well, he's not a
stranger anymore.
And, yes, we met on
a couchsurfing app,
but he's really cool.
He's not, like, some
creep or something,
and he's gay, so chill.
Okay.
So are you, like, still trying
to act or influence or--
(chuckles) Trying.
Wow, thank you so
much for the support.
[Lila] That's not
how I meant it.
I still watch all
of your videos.
I just watched the My
Summer in Paris one.
Oh, okay cool.
So I've got one viewer, woo.
Yeah, and your camera work
is getting a lot better,
and you look happy.
Well, I am happy.
Are you?
Yeah.
Or are you just a
really good actress?
[James] Well, that too.
(Lila chuckles)
Okay, so anything else, Lila?
Um.
You know, you can admit that you
have feelings about all of this.
Well, yes, I do have feelings.
Hate is a feeling, isn't it.
Don't say that.
That's true.
If she treated you the
same way she treated me,
you didn't have to stay
there and watch her unravel.
You can admit that
she was a shitty mom.
It's okay to hate someone
even though they're dead.
Hey, look, I got to go.
I got to go finish
this audition, okay?
- I'll talk to you later.
- (phone dings)
Have a good day.
(phone dings)
Shipshape.
- Accept.
- (phone dings)
(ominous music)
(lively music)
Hey, you guys, it's James,
and guess what, I'm in Paris.
(James laughs)
Welcome back to my channel.
If you're new here,
I am an American
in Paris for the next
three or four months,
and I can't wait for you guys
to join me on this journey.
Come along.
I am loving my summer so far.
Fit check.
This place, it's magical.
And I'm living with the
coolest guy named Dash.
He's fabulous.
And most nights when
he's not bar-tending
at the hippest spot in
Paris, we go dancing
and then we stuff up on the most
delectable wines and pastas.
Oh, and look at the view
from our apartment.
It has the cutest
little courtyard.
And then you walk out,
and this is our street.
(keyboard clicks)
[James] 62 views.
- [James] Yippee.
- (keyboard clicks)
(beeping)
(camera clicks)
Dash, say hi.
No.
Come on.
It's for my channel.
How would you like a camera in
your face all the time 24/7?
Oh wait, you'd love it.
I'm assuming catering
didn't go well tonight.
No.
First of all, this guy spilled
his Bloody Mary all over me,
and then I ran out of
gas on the way home.
Oh, no.
Can you imagine how
embarrassing that was?
I mean, me climbing out it with
a stained catering uniform only
to be able to fill up a fourth
of my tank with crinkled ones
that I made out of tips.
Oh, gosh.
Why don't you just tell your
dad that you like, overextended?
No, you, out of all
people, should be happy.
I'm too prideful to do that
because you'd be homeless.
Rude.
Okay, help me.
How do I get more
subscribers on my channel?
Who cares?
I care.
You know what your problem is?
You just haven't
found your voice.
Like, what is your brand?
Like, you're an actress?
You're a travel vlogger?
You're a yogi who does makeup?
I don't know.
I mean, I just want to make
content that people like.
Why don't you make
content you like?
Because I don't
know what I like.
I've been taking care of
my mom at home for years,
and now I'm finally
out and look at me.
I'm no closer to figuring
out who I am than when
I was living for somebody else.
And now you're going to live
for a bunch of strangers online?
(James scoffs)
[Dash] By the way, rents up.
Oh surprised.
About rent, so I'm just like,
a little short right now,
but I got a gig, a cleaning gig
this weekend in the countryside,
and it's supposed
to pay really well,
which is going to
be my next question.
Can I please borrow your car?
No.
Gas is so much cheaper
than the train.
And the more money I save, the
quicker I can pay you back.
What's the address?
Um...
that.
- (scoffs)
- What?
Oh, shit.
That's going to take me forever.
That's huge.
Do you know what this place is?
No, should I?
This is Murder Castle.
If you want the views, this
might be your ticket, baby.
(ominous music)
(upbeat music)
Good morning, guys.
Welcome to my channel.
Today, I'm doing a little
bit of a rebranding
because I found myself
with a unique opportunity.
So I hope you guys are
ready because today we
are going on a ghost hunt.
(camera squelches)
Okay, I admit I've never done
anything like this before,
but I've always really
liked spooky things.
My Halloween costumes have
always been like,
super legendary,
not to toot my own horn.
(camera clicking)
This video, as you see, it's
titled The No Go Chateau.
I admit I didn't really know
anything about Murder Castle
until my roommate
told me about it,
but I have done so
much research now,
and I have all of these amazing
supplies for ghost hunting.
This is an EVP I got,
Electronic Voice Phenomenon.
[Dash] So what happened
to being broke?
Um, this was like 15 bucks,
chill.
Well, I've never seen
a maid so dressed up.
I know I look cute, right.
I wanted to look
good for my channel.
At least it's not a
French maid costume.
Yeah, at least I'm
not like a nude maid.
Oh, my God.
My eyes are allergic to
breasts and vaginas, so--
Keys please.
Listen, the keychain my dad
got me is kind of sharp.
Oh.
Eiffel Tower.
Cute.
Don't make me regret this.
Thanks, Dash.
(ominous music)
(birds chirping)
All right, you guys,
we're almost there.
Murder Castle is about two
hours outside of Paris,
so it's been quite a trek,
but it's going to be worth it.
And as you guys just saw,
I put some aerial footage
of the French countryside.
Just ignore the watermark,
because I don't really--
stock footage is so
expensive, and this shit
isn't monetized yet. (chuckles)
All right.
And now, editor, which
will be yours truly,
let's insert the spooky
research portion of the video.
Give them a little
background on Murder Castle.
Bwahaha.
Whoa!
(laughs)
(static)
- (screaming)
- (creepy music)
There's no way out.
There's no electricity, no
phone, no one within miles.
So no way to call for help.
- Like your coffin.
- (static)
(speaking foreign language)
(dramatic music)
(speaking foreign
language continues)
(computer mouse clicks)
(insects chirring)
[Woman] One rumored spirit,
is Reginald Poirot.
A few years back, an
avid hunter, this man
was often known to disappear
for days at a time,
- pursuing the perfect kill.
- (static)
Shhh (speaks French).
His last known whereabouts
were, you guessed it,
the woods near the chateau.
Now, there are
many more specters
rumored to haunt these halls,
but perhaps the property's most
famous ghost is Pia Monroe.
[Woman] One day in 1986,
she was out walking her
beloved Baguette.
When, according
to an eyewitness,
the dog slipped out of
his harness and bolted.
Pia chased him,
apparently all the way here.
And after that, she nor the
dog were ever seen again.
- (door opens)
- (man speaks indistinctly)
Oh, shit let's go.
- (static)
- All right,
so the interesting thing
about Murder Castle compared
to other, you know, supposed
haunted houses is
that there's no evidence that
anybody actually died there.
Cops have scoured the
place over and over again,
and all these people,
they've just vanished.
So let's go see if
we can find them.
(horn honking)
Geez, dick.
(static)
All right, you guys,
I have a little
pit stop before we get there.
I was able to track
down a former gardener.
- Wish me luck.
- (phone ringing)
Sorry.
(knocking)
(tense music)
Yes.
Hi.
Are you Fleur Prescott?
Yes.
Hi.
My name is James.
I was wondering if
you'd be willing to talk
to me about your time
at Murder Castle.
I'd be delighted to.
How is my hair?
It's beautiful.
And the sweater?
I could change.
No, no, no.
It's perfect.
Okay.
This is truly so
wonderful for me.
I can't tell you
how many times I
have tried to tell my story
to those who could help,
primarily the cops,
but no one listens.
All right well,
let's dive right in.
You want to go ahead
and introduce yourself?
(Fleur sighs)
Fleur Prescott.
Thank you, Fleur.
And tell us, what is your
connection to Murder Castle.
I was hired to do some
gardening one summer.
What happened?
Well, at first I
thought I was alone,
but on the very
first day, I started
seeing people peering out
from windows, walking past
from the corner of my eye.
And then this young woman, she,
she approached me and asked me
if I had seen her dog.
And why was that strange?
Well, I recognized her.
The woman, I had
seen her on the news.
She went missing.
Pia.
Exactly.
So naturally, I hightailed
it out of there,
and I told the police.
And what did they say?
(tense music)
They laughed at me.
They laughed?
Yes, dear.
They laughed because Pia went
missing nearly 20 years earlier.
I told them she was young,
mid-20s at the latest,
and they just laughed and said
that she would be in her 40s
by now.
And then how did
you interpret that?
What you experienced there?
I didn't have to
interpret anything.
It was clear.
She was a ghost.
They all were.
Be sure to let me know when I
can watch the video, will you?
Maybe I'll throw
a viewing party.
Definitely will do.
Can I ask what made you
dig into this story?
Well, I'm going there.
I've been hired to
clean the place.
I don't want to give you this.
Don't go to that place.
It's evil monologue.
But just know, not
all of those spirits
are simply looking
for a lost dog.
I believe the house
is collecting souls,
so don't be one of them.
(thunder rumbles)
(phone ringing)
Shitty service will
take care of that.
[GPS] The destination
is on your left.
The owner said they'd leave
the gate open for me.
Based on all the videos
and blogs I've seen,
this is where all you would be
ghost hunters would
have to turn back.
But not me.
(screaming)
(static)
Thank you.
Sorry, I don't--
I don't, I don't
have any cash.
- No cash.
- (thunder rumbles)
Sorry.
So creepy.
What the heck is he doing
al the way out here?
(static)
Just like that the rain starts.
Of course.
(thunder rumbles)
Oh, my God.
This is crazy.
(static)
(thunder rumbles)
It's huge.
We're here.
(exhales)
(static)
(static)
Very few people have been
through that door, at least
those who have lived
to tell the tale.
Stay tuned as you see a
peek behind the curtain.
- (door creaks open)
- Oh shit.
(static)
Hi, bonjour.
[Andrea] Bonjour.
- Can I help you?
- Uh.
Yeah, I'm James from
Shipshape, the app.
[Andrea] James?
I was expecting a man.
Yeah, I get that a lot.
[Andrea] Only joking.
I read your profile.
Andrea Bardot,
welcome.
I appreciate you
coming all this way.
Yeah, it's my pleasure.
- [Andrea] Please come in.
- (static)
Oh wow.
This is huge.
[Andrea] It's been in the
family for quite some time.
I have some business in
the city this weekend,
so thought it would be a good
time to tidy the place up.
My husband liked to keep
it spotless after he spent
so much time on renovations.
Oh yeah.
So you're, you're married?
[Andrea] Widowed, sadly.
Oh I'm, I'm so sorry.
(static)
So you live alone then?
[Andrea] You could say that.
So you are American?
Yeah, I'm just
here for the summer
and decided to stay
through the autumn too.
It's cold.
[Andrea] Please set your things
down and I'll show you around.
- Sure.
- (static)
[Andrea] Why don't we
start upstairs?
Your profile, it mentioned
that you're fresh as a daisy.
No friends or family?
[James] I guess I'm just trying
to reconnect with myself.
[Andrea] As you'll see, there
are a number of common spaces--
seven bathrooms
and eight bedrooms.
In this closet are
the fresh linens,
and you will find
your room right here
at the top of the stairs.
- (static)
- (ominous music)
Oh, my God.
Wait until you guys
see this place.
It's crazy.
I wasn't expecting it to
be so beautiful, but it is.
I'm trying to be quiet
because I don't want the owner
to see me or see the cameras.
Did you guys hear
what she said when
I was like, so you live alone?
She was like, you
could say that.
She's talking about ghosts?
Okay, I'm going to go.
So she doesn't think
that I'm taking a number two.
Okay.
Fake flush.
(toilet flushes)
Well, I believe I've given you
all the cleaning instructions.
I'll get out of your hair.
I'll return tomorrow
evening, so in the meantime,
if you need anything or have any
questions, feel free to call me.
Number's on the fridge.
[James] All right, will do.
Thank you.
[Andrea] Oh, and you'll find out
that service is spotty out here,
so there's a landline in the
attic, should you need it.
[James] Sorry, you
said the attic?
[Andrea] It's odd,
I know.
It's just that the ringing
sets off my migraines,
so I relocated it somewhere
it wouldn't be a bother.
Well, I'm off.
[James] All right,
have a great time.
(door closes)
Interesting chick.
(ominous music)
Oops.
- (footsteps above)
- (floor creaking)
Who could that be?
(ominous music)
(door creaks)
[Andrea] I forget to
tell you that
the pantry is
fully stocked.
Help yourself to anything.
[James] Thank you,
thank you so much.
[Andrea] You're, you're filming?
I was just trying to video chat
my sister, but you're right,
service is really spotty.
[Andrea] I do
apologize about that.
Well, now I'm really off.
[James] Take care.
(static)
(phone beeps)
(gentle upbeat music)
All right, you guys,
the owner is gone.
Let me show you something.
Look at this.
Hands free. (laughs)
How hilarious is this?
I found it online.
It was, it was really expensive,
but I'm just going
to return it afterwards.
Shhh.
And I've got this app, too.
It's called Flipvid.
It gets front facing and back
facing camera at the same time.
Shout out Flipvid, if you
wanna collab after this.
And then most
importantly, I've got
this light for all the other
darker areas of the property.
So bright.
And here's my room.
Check it.
I was so surprised.
I didn't think that there
would be a room this cute.
Look at that chandelier.
- (light flickers)
- Flickering light.
That's weird.
All right, oh,
and the footsteps earlier,
before you guys write me off
as an amateur, just
know that I searched
every single square
inch of this floor
and I didn't find anything.
So for now, we're just
going to say old pipes.
Innocent until proven guilty.
This Murder Castle.
All right.
It's time for the grand tour.
(upbeat creepy music)
(static)
Whoa. (laughs)
Sun is out, but
it's still freezing.
(birds chirping)
Oh. here we go.
Look at this.
Shutters definitely
need some work. (chuckles)
Oof.
I think there's something like
40,000 chateaus in France.
(static)
Look, treehouse.
I want to see it.
Oh.
I always wanted a
treehouse when I was a kid.
(static)
Uh, this property is huge.
There are so many things to see.
I was going to
say, I wonder what
they're growing in here,
but just shrubs, clearly.
Look at the ceiling.
(ominous music)
It's so--
Hello.
Hello who's there?
Excuse me.
What?
Hello.
Bonjour.
Bonjour.
Oh it's okay,
you can come in.
Oh, no, no, no.
No, really, it's okay.
No, I don't go there.
Au revoir.
Weren't you just--
Ooh, let's go check that out.
Interior dark barn day.
I can test out my lights here.
(wood creaking)
So much crap in here.
What is that?
(tense music)
Oh, okay.
Oh, my gosh.
My God.
I am spooking myself.
Okay, all right, that's
enough barn for me.
Oh my gosh.
Look what I found.
There's donkeys.
Hi.
Can I pet you?
Oh my gosh.
Hi.
Hi, baby.
Oh, look at the little bangs.
(static)
Okay, when I was
doing my research,
I found these really
creepy pictures.
How funny is this?
Okay, I'm going to show
you on my laptop.
You recognize something?
Look at that.
I found the same spot.
You guys see this?
Hmm.
Like she's clearly
overlapping such bad editing,
so that's obviously fake.
But now we are going to get
to the real spooky stuff.
(ominous music)
Gotta fix my lipstick
before the next shot.
- (lips smack)
- (chuckles)
There's a quote.
It's like, during the day,
I don't believe in ghosts.
At night, I'm a little
bit more open minded.
It's definitely me right now.
Okay, guys.
EVP.
If you're a true ghost hunter,
you already know what this is.
But if you don't, it basically
picks up on spirits talking.
I found this recording
online that's
claims to be from Murder Castle.
So, let me show you
what it's all about.
(computer mouse clicks)
(tense music)
(speaking indistinctly)
[James] 17.
What could that mean?
(static)
Let's go see if
anyone's feeling chatty.
Gonna set the mood first.
It's got some red lights.
All right, let's see.
(EVP beeps)
Are there any
spirits in this room?
Did you die in this home?
Are you friendly?
Do you want me here?
Okay.
Let's listen to it back.
(EVP beeps)
Are there any
spirits in this room?
Did you die in this home?
Are you friendly?
Do you want me here?
(EVP beeps)
Whew, okay.
Thank God.
Oh wait, I have an idea.
(EVP beeps)
Okay, so I boosted the
volume of the recording
because in all the
videos I've seen,
people seem to only
hear communications
from the spirit world when
the sound is amplified.
So, here we go.
(computer mouse clicks)
Are there any
spirits in this room?
Did you die in this home?
Are you friendly?
(man laughing)
That's weird.
Do you want me here?
[Man] Do you want to die?
[James] Did that just say
what I think it said?
I'm going to turn the
volume up even more.
(computer mouse clicking)
[Man] Do you want to die?
Do you want to die?
- (dramatic music)
- (static)
[James] What was that?
(light switch clicking)
Of course.
(tense music)
Okay.
That's really weird.
I asked the spirits,
do you want me here?
And now the front door is open.
So if that's not a sign,
I don't know what is.
So this has been
really fun, guys,
but I'm going to
pack my shit and go.
(static)
(screaming)
Shit.
I don't have the keys.
Holy crap, you guys.
I have to admit, I
did not think anything
was going to happen here.
(panting)
(trees creaking)
(panting)
Oh, my God.
(panting)
I see a light.
Wait a second.
How did I end up back here?
No.
(panting)
Okay.
I don't understand.
I'm right back where I started?
- (screams)
- (computer mouse clicks)
It's so good, right?
I've been editing it
throughout the day.
The jump scare totally
works, I think.
No but the whole like running
away and ending up back
at the house thing, that's been
done in like every horror film.
So what?
And this mask, has
totally messed up my hair.
No, but it looks
so good on camera.
Look.
So at this point, we're
letting the viewers
know we faked the ghosts.
Kind of kills the mystery.
No, because I was thinking,
even if nothing else happens,
the entire time that I'm here,
which come on, let's be honest,
nothing's going to
happen, then at least we
can start the video with a bang.
Yeah, but what if the
owner sees the video?
She's going to be pissed that
you didn't ask for permission.
Dude, she has a landline.
I doubt she's online
watching influencer's videos.
Okay, so you are an
influencer now.
Yeah, I'm a micro influencer.
[James] Isn't this editing
software so good?
It's so easy to use.
My sister got it for me.
I love it.
That, that Fleur chick,
she was amazing.
I know.
Dude, she was willing
to do it for free.
Found her on a casting site.
She just wanted
demo reel footage.
(keyboard cicks)
She was a ghost.
- They all were.
- (keyboard clicks)
Oh, what about the delivery guy?
Oh, no, that guy, he was real.
- (static)
- Based on all the vlogs
and videos I've seen,
this is where all you would
be ghost hunters would--
Dash, you're in the frame.
- Okay.
- Dash get down.
The owner is going to
see you, seriously.
Oh my god, you're so demanding.
And I'm supposed to look
like I by myself in here.
(both chuckling)
I also have some content of me
putting on that ghost getup,
if you want it.
Okay, but I have to show
you one more video first.
[James] Come on,
shake it and let's go.
You have to film everything?
[James] Don't worry.
I don't think the zoom is
strong enough to pick up
your little naughty bits.
Listen, you need a wide angle
lens for all of this, baby.
Okay?
(static)
Maybe I should split
the video in half,
like post the first episode,
get everybody really
hyped thinking it's
real, and then we
can post a second episode
explaining how we did it,
and then everybody will think
that I'm a really good actress.
Or do you think it will go
more viral if we just post it
as a real, genuine haunting?
Hmm.
Oh, well I forgot to show
you something.
What?
Okay, so, earlier, I was
going through my footage,
- Uh huh.
- and I noticed something.
Did you find something?
Yeah, if you zoom in
here, you just see--Bang!
Oh, my gosh.
I look amazing.
Oh my God.
You get me every single time.
So you thought I was going
to zoom in something scary,
but you know the only scary
thing is how sexy I look.
Stupid, you're so stupid.
Gosh, you know what, it's fine.
You're helping me so much.
Thank you, seriously thank you
for coming and doing
this with me.
Bitch listen, I only came here
to see the inside of this place,
but honestly, it's
not even that creepy.
It's kind of a let
down, actually.
Well yeah, it's because it's
not actually abandoned.
Somebody lives here, and
we still have to clean it.
We? (chuckles)
You're not going to help me.
Hell, no.
First of all, I have a gig
first thing in the morning.
And can you imagine if she
showed up and saw me here?
No, no.
But I am gonna stay for
one last attempt at real ghost
hunting, after I take a piss.
Love you.
I'll be back.
All right.
Have fun.
Meet me downstairs, okay?
(urine splashing)
James is gonna
love this. (chuckles)
(zipper zipping)
(toilet flushes)
(water running)
(tense music)
(floor creaking)
[Dash] Very funny, James.
James.
James.
What the?
James.
[James] I'm downstairs.
Hey, baby.
Oh, my God.
Dash.
I want to weasel
into your pants. (gags)
Ewww!
- [Dash] Look at this.
- Dude, be careful.
That's taxidermy.
- Give him a kiss.
- It's super expensive.
That, that is a sick
little-- (gags)
Our little buddy.
You know those were
alive at one time.
I mean, I am aware.
All right, here we go.
Lights off for the atmosphere.
Oh, atmosphere.
All right so,
you know some weird moves
from your older yoga videos,
yeah?
Dash, where are you
going with this?
Okay, so I was thinking we
take some shots of you, like,
doing these weird, twisty,
bendy contortion moves like--
(groaning)
- Yeah.
- People find that shit
- so freaky.
- Yeah with this?
With this sexy,
big, ol' harness on?
Yeah, with that.
Oh yeah, that'll, that'll
really, that'll really go viral.
- It's a good look.
- (both laughing)
- You really love it.
- Wait, wait.
Or why don't you do it since
you love Downward Dog so much.
Oh!
Gladly, it's my specialty.
(moaning)
No, for real, the way you
doctored that recording earlier,
genius.
I mean I had to.
This EVP stuff is
literally bullshit.
- It's a scam.
- (EVP beeps)
Okay, ask.
Is there a spirit in this room?
Come on, let's go over here.
All right, um,
did anyone die in this house?
Come here.
(door creaking)
[James] Are you friendly?
(door opens)
Come on.
Do you want this ass?
Oh, oh, oh.
(both laughing)
[Dash] If there are any spirits
they're gonna kill us.
Yeah, they do,
yeah, they do.
- Like for real.
- Okay, wait, wait.
Let's, let's do it, let's
do it together.
[Dash] All right wait.
[Both] Do you want us here?
Okay, play it back full volume.
- (EVP beeps)
- [James] It's all the way up.
[Dash] Okay.
[James] Is there a
spirit in this room?
[Dash] Did anyone die
in his house?
[James] Are you friendly?
[Dash] Do you want
this ass? Oh, oh, oh.
(both laughing)
[Dash] If there are any spirits
they're gonna kill us.
[James] Yeah, they do.
Yeah, they do.
- [Dash] Like for real.
- [James] Okay, wait, wait.
Let's, let's do it, let's
do it together.
[Dash] All right wait.
[Both] Do you want us here?
- (blows raspberry)
- Whoa!
- (laughing)
- Oh, my God.
Dash, are you kidding me?
- You are so--
- Again?
So easy to scare you.
I keep falling for that.
Gosh.
Guys, she's the scared-iest
cat in the whole world.
No, I'm not.
I'm not afraid.
I don't believe in
this like he does.
Yes, she does, she does.
Gosh.
- Okay, so once again, nothing.
- (EVP beeps)
Well, lame.
Ooh, EVP is bullshit.
All right, you
guys, well, do not
forget to like and subscribe
to the most boring video ever.
(camera beeps)
All right.
Keys.
Gladly.
This stupid thing
keeps poking me anyway.
I warned you.
Yeah, you actually did.
Okay, well.
Are you sure you
don't want to stay?
There's like eight bedrooms.
Are you telling me that
you're afraid to stay
in this big, bad house alone?
No.
It's okay.
I'll let it slide.
Okay, well, I'm going to
be here to scoop you up
tomorrow, so just call me.
With what?
There's no Wi-Fi or service.
Can you imagine if we planned a
live stream, I'd be so screwed?
Could you imagine how many
people wouldn't have watched it?
You shush-- you shush up.
Listen, you can use
the landline.
Unh unh.
I draw the line at going
up to the spooky attic.
Well, then just go
during the day, then.
Well, I offered some options.
Okay, whatever.
All right, ta ta.
Au revoir.
Are you okay?
Yeah, I'm fine.
I'll be all good, don't worry.
I mean, like, I know
you're fine here but,
like the, the mom stuff.
Ah.
Dash, I'm holding up.
- Thanks.
- Okay.
I feel like I need to
hug right now, but--
- Yeah, you want to hug me?
- Yeah.
You want to hug
me, with my, with my device?
Okay.
It's a weapon of
mass destruction.
Okay, all right.
I'm going now, I'm going outside
[James] Okay.
Wait, Dash, please don't
forget to record yourself
on the way out.
I really want to edit that in.
I got you.
[James] Woo.
But you will owe me residuals.
No contract, no deal.
Then you will be
hearing from my lawyers.
[James] Okay, have them call me.
Bye.
Be safe.
[James] Bye.
(door closes)
All right.
Just you and
me now. (chuckles)
Or just me and the house.
(sighs)
Okay, I definitely don't
feel like cleaning yet.
(static)
- I could go check the EVP.
- (EVP beeps)
Ooh.
Okay, I am filming myself,
James.
Happy?
(breathes deeply)
Oh my God, it's so creepy.
- (tense music)
- (insects chirring)
Ooh, spooky.
Have fun in there,
all alone tonight.
[Both] Do you want us here?
- (James sighs)
- (computer mouse clicks)
[James] Boosted the sound.
I know that we're here for ghost
hunting, but I got to admit,
I'm a little relieved that
there's not anything on there.
(static)
What was that?
(phone ringing)
(ominous music)
(phone ringing)
Well, I guess I'm going
up to the attic.
Oh shit.
(chuckles) It's kind of funny.
(static)
Usually, when I'm on video,
there's another man present.
And we're both naked.
All right.
(car alarm chirps)
Whew.
All righty.
Okay.
(engine starts)
(ominous music)
(phone ringing)
(phone ringing)
Might be the owner calling.
(phone ringing)
So cold in here.
(phone ringing)
Okay, I'm coming,
I'm coming.
(phone ringing)
Hello.
Hello.
Is anyone there?
[Mother] Jamesie.
Who is this?
Why didn't you come see me?
I called you every week.
I tried to fix things,
but you wouldn't answer.
You never answered.
Is this is some kind of prank?
They put me in a box, Jamesie.
Painted me up like a doll.
They fixed me up so well, you
couldn't even see the hole
in the back of my skull.
Dash.
Dash, was that you?
If that was you,
that's not cool.
(tense music)
Okay.
So I don't know what that was.
(phone ringing)
I'm not answering that again.
(phone ringing)
That's just a little bit too
much communication for me.
(phone ringing)
[Dash] Oh, it's dark
over here.
All right James, you better
hope this is worth it,
and that your video takes off
because this driving ain't it.
(static)
What's with that?
All right, James,
you screwing with me?
- (static)
- I, am gonna kill you.
Woo, okay.
All right, well, that's
enough filming for me.
Dash signing off.
- (dramatic music)
- (door opens)
(camera beeps)
Isn't this cute?
Probably gonna have to come
out with some merch of my own
after all of this.
Probably do, like a spooky
old landline as a logo, huh.
(sighs)
(fingers tapping phone)
[James] Out.
- Oh, there she is.
- Hi, hello.
Oh, my God.
You look so hot.
Really, too much, too little?
No, it's perfect.
It's so perfect.
Are you sure I
should go out tonight?
Yes, oh, my gosh.
It's your best
friend's birthday.
You have to have
some sort of life.
I know.
Okay, okay.
Which earrings?
- Left for sure.
- Left.
- Hoops, hoops, hoops, hoops.
- Okay.
- Thank you.
- Okay, say hi.
Is this what I have to do?
Now it is to be famous,
is just show--
- And wear nothing--
- Yes, that's right.
- (laughing) Oh gosh.
- Oh.
(bell ringing)
[Mother] Girls.
Girls.
God, I've been ringing
this thing forever.
[Lila] Okay.
Listen, if you could just be a
little bit patient with her.
She doesn't feel good.
Don't look at me like that.
Coming, Mom.
(gentle music)
(ominous music)
(sighs) Okay.
Well, there's no way I could
fall asleep right now, so.
Let's go downstairs and see if
I can find something, like wine.
(chuckles)
(camera beeps)
Update, made it to the kitchen.
I was looking everywhere
because I thought
they might have a wine
cellar and maybe I missed it,
but no, no wine cellar.
But it's okay.
If I didn't like
the attic, I doubt
I would like the
basement either.
But I did find a
half bottle of wine.
So let's get this party started.
Hmm, oh.
An old radio.
Let's see if it works.
- (radio clicks)
- (radio tuning)
(upbeat music playing)
(music becomes ominous)
(static)
(birds chirping)
(dramatic music)
(camera beeps)
Pain au chocolat.
(chuckles)
Morning, guys.
I'm so freaking tired.
I stayed up way too
late last night.
I think I drank too
much wine, but I
did get a lot of cleaning
done, so that's good,
and I still woke up early
to get that really cool time
lapse for you guys,
so hope you enjoy it.
Oh, and I've been holding
out on you guys,
so I found some footage
online before I left Paris.
Someone clearly flew a
drone over the property.
Isn't it epic?
I think I've had enough of this.
I've got a lot more
cleaning to do.
It's just a little bit
too sweet for my taste.
What the heck?
(tense music)
(door creaks)
There's nothing.
- (door closes)
- (static)
Let's do some dusting.
So much cool stuff in here.
Blah.
Ooh.
So pretty.
The attic windows
can just stay dirty.
These look like they've
never been cleaned before.
All right.
Last room, the
master's quarters.
She said I can only go in
to go change the sheets, so.
Oh, it's so dark.
Think I'm gonna open these.
Oh.
Much better.
(ominous music)
Unh unh, no, absolutely not.
Nope, unh unh, we're
not doing that.
Okay.
Much better.
Oh.
Let's see.
Oh, wow.
Hmm.
That must be the husband.
So old school.
Gonna make this
bed real quick.
(static)
- (camera beeps)
- (birds chirping)
Hey, guys.
I'm all done cleaning, woo.
Cleaning is complete.
Just doing a little walk.
Honestly, don't know what
time the owner is coming back
because she actually
didn't tell me, so.
Dash.
Dash.
Dash, are you still here?
What?
No keys.
What?
Okay.
That's super weird.
Ah...
It's 1:00 PM.
Dash said he had a
catering gig this morning, so.
Oh, my gosh.
He knew that he was going
to play this prank on me
this whole time.
Are you kidding me?
Dash.
Okay!
You let me go a whole night
thinking I was by myself?
Gosh, what the heck?
[Pia] Who are you talking to?
[James] I...
I was just recording myself.
Who are you?
- I'm looking for my dog.
- (static)
Have you seen him?
Actually, yeah.
I may have.
It was earlier this morning.
I don't know where he
could have gone, though.
He can be tricky.
Baguette.
Baguette, you here, boy?
Baguette?
I know, it's a silly name.
No, it's just-- wait,
what was your name?
Will you help me look for him?
- (footsteps receding)
- (tense music)
[James] What the heck?
- She's...
- (door rattles)
(light clicks)
Nothing.
[Pia] Baguette?
Did you find him?
(static)
(screaming)
(gasps)
(tense music)
(door creaking)
Hello.
Where'd you go?
Hello.
Look, I'm really
sorry about your dog.
I'm happy to help you look, but
this isn't actually my house,
so I can't just, you know have
you walking around on your own.
(ominous music)
- (camera beeps)
- Hey, you guys.
I'm,
still here. (chuckles)
Uh, still no sign of
the owner, but I'm
sitting out here with all my
crap out here waiting for her.
(thunder rumbles)
Of course, it's
fricking raining.
- (James sighs)
- (rain pattering)
I thought about
calling her, but I
don't want to go back up to
that creepy attic room again.
Um...
So I can't find
the keys anywhere.
Thought about walking.
But in the middle
of freaking nowhere,
I don't even know which
way I would even go.
Um...
So I can't find Dash.
Or that weird dog girl.
Um...
It's just getting
a little weird,
but um, I'm gonna stick
it out because, well, I
need the check, and um...
I promised you guys that
you would have content.
So, I'm bringing you
the ghost hunt.
So.
(clattering)
[James] Dash.
I just heard something.
Dash.
Dash.
(door creaking)
(tense music)
I'm not falling for that again.
- (static)
- (screaming)
(static)
Hey.
Hey, help.
Help.
(static)
Oh, no.
(static)
(screaming)
(gun fires)
- (birds squawking)
- (static)
Oh, my God!
(static)
- (static)
- Holy shit!
Oh my--
(screaming)
(door slams)
- (static)
- (door locks)
- (static)
- (camera beeps)
(door rattling)
(door rattling)
Bonjour.
Who are you?
Parles-tu franais?
No.
English.
Ah.
I am Reggie.
(chuckles)
Reggie?
Oh, that wouldn't happen to be
short for Reginald, would it?
It is, in fact, Reginald Poirot.
Yeah, the hunter, right?
What, did Dash put
you up to this?
Dash?
Oh, no, no.
He's not been one for
jokes since he joined us.
I think he's still getting
used to his new situation.
Oh, yeah, you mean being dead?
Eh.
Like the window washer out here.
Um, yeah, and the girl, Pia.
Oh, don't mind her.
She's like a broken record.
Always looking
for that damn dog.
(scoffs)
[Reggie] She's kind of like
your mother that way.
[Reggie] Hmm.
What did you say?
Well, wouldn't you agree?
Always going on and on
about not calling her back.
How you abandoned her.
(tense music)
I didn't abandon her.
Okay, this is seriously sick.
Go get Dash.
Can't blame her for
how she did it, though.
Guns are the quickest way to go.
(thunder rumbles)
Get away from the door.
I'm gonna call the police.
(chuckles) Will you?
I don't think you want
to go up there again, hmm.
Please, leave me alone.
(thunder rumbles)
(insects chirring)
(camera beeps)
Hey, you guys.
Uh, so, I'm going through
footage because I'm
trying to distract myself
because I don't want
to go back out there with him.
Um...
And I was looking at
a time lapse video
that I took on my first night
here when I was sleeping,
and I found something
really weird.
Look.
(keyboard clicks)
(ominous music)
(keyboard clicks)
Who the hell is that?
Okay, and I found her
in a second video.
Yesterday while I was filming
the tour, I rigged my phone
and I dangled it
down the staircase.
This place is, like
three stories tall,
so I thought that this
would be cool way
to see another
view of the house.
But look closely.
Did you see?
It's her again.
You know, of course, I want to
say that it's Dash in a wig,
but the reality is I just don't
think that Dash is here anymore.
And I want to call
the cops, but I
don't want to get
him in trouble,
and I don't know what to do.
What do they do in
Horror movies?
They just hide under the
covers when they're freaked out.
Well, as I expected,
a paper thin sheet
does not make me feel any safer.
- (ominous music)
- (static)
[Ma] Oh baby.
Oh, baby.
Oh, my baby.
Who are you?
(static)
(bell ringing)
Mom.
Go.
(tense music)
That definitely
wasn't Dash in a wig.
(static)
(gunshot)
(gasps)
- (static)
- (bell ringing)
(tense music)
(phone ringing)
- It's not her.
- (phone ringing)
It's not really my mom.
(phone ringing)
(door creaking)
(phone ringing)
(phone ringing)
(phone ringing)
(phone ringing)
[Mother] Jamesie, it's
wonderful on this side.
It's so quiet.
Who the hell is this?
It's your mother.
No.
No, it's not.
What makes you say that?
Because my mother's dead.
She was buried yesterday.
Then why is she
standing behind you?
(screaming)
(screaming)
(tense music)
[Mother] Come on, Jamesie.
Don't you want to give
your mother a goodbye kiss?
(door creaking)
(screaming)
(panting)
[James] Dash.
Dash.
Oh.
Oh!
Dash.
Get me out of here.
No.
No.
[Dash] James.
We're not gonna
let you leave, James.
Dash.
One bar.
(whimpering)
(phone line trilling)
[Mother] 911, what's
your emergency?
- Oh my God.
- (static)
Help me, my friend, he's dead.
I'm stuck in Murder Castle,
and I can't get out.
Please, ma'am, calm down.
You said you're stranded?
Yeah, I can't find my keys.
Why don't you make a run for it?
Because the door is stuck.
Well, you could always
go back upstairs.
What did you say?
[Multiple voices] Why don't
you go back up to the attic
and let mother take care of you?
(phone clicks)
[Dash] They don't have
911 in France.
It's 17 here.
It's just a house.
It's tricky here.
Have you seen my dog?
Screw you and your dog.
If you want a easy way out,
I can lend you my rifle.
Please, why won't
you let me leave?
(camera beeps)
So, I certainly can't deny that
something weird is
going on here.
I mean, not just weird.
I mean, this place is genuinely
and thoroughly haunted.
(static)
I'm starting to worry that
maybe the owner is not
gonna come back.
Um, that maybe she knew
this was gonna happen
and left me here.
It feels like these ghosts, they
need a soul to trap and torment,
and I've been left as the proxy.
And I saw my mom.
I talked to her up there,
and she died three days ago.
And Dash, I mean, I thought
I finally had a story
that people would care about.
I thought you guys would all
want to see Murder Castle,
and I thought that, I through
some crazy twist of fate,
got the golden ticket,
and it turns out
all the stories are really true.
- (door opens)
- Bonsoir.
Oh, you're still filming.
Yeah, yeah, I am.
The house's reputation
precedes itself, I see.
It's all right to be curious.
Many people are.
Um,
so I'm actually done cleaning,
and um, everything's all set.
Thank you so much.
Wait, I need to
write you a check.
And don't you want an interview?
An interview?
With me for your video?
You would do that?
Perhaps it's time
I break my silence.
(door creaking, closes)
There you go.
Thank you.
I apologize about the coffee.
I can never get it just right.
No, no, it's totally fine.
I'm kind of a wuss with
coffee, but I definitely
need the energy, um...
All right, let's begin.
You've been through something.
Oh, yeah.
It's been a pretty
crazy weekend.
I meany, in life.
It, it radiates off of you.
The pain.
Okay, no, no, no, no.
You're the one in the hot seat.
You share, I share.
Okay.
My mom, um, she passed
away recently.
I wasn't there, um...
We weren't really that close.
She was a very hateful woman.
Um...
My dad, he left us
when we were kids
and uh, kind of did something
to her and her psyche,
- and she was never the same.
- (gentle music)
After that, she would
always just like, lash out
at my sister and I.
Nothing we ever did
was good enough.
It was always just
tearing us down.
Oh, and now you seek
affirmation through--
Yes, views and subscribers.
I know it's very pathetic.
And what happened to her?
How did she die?
It was cancer.
Um...
It kind of just got way too
unbearable for me to see,
so I just had to leave.
I guess the pain just
became unbearable
because she swallowed a bullet.
She did it in the shower,
so she was at least
thoughtful with the cleanup,
right?
Uh...
But yeah, she didn't leave
a suicide note or anything,
but she did leave me a,
a voicemail that I just
haven't been able to
listen to it because
you know, what if she blames me?
Well, that's quite a story.
Yeah, so back to you.
Um...
So have you ever, you know seen
or experienced anything here?
Anything supernatural?
Of course I have.
After all, I've put
many of them here.
(ominous music)
What do you mean by that?
I killed them.
Oh well, some of them.
And my father before me and his
father before that, and it's
been happening for centuries.
Is this some kind of joke?
Oh, no, no, it's not a joke.
Okay.
You're freaking me out a little.
Good.
It likes you better
when you're scared.
It?
The house.
You didn't bring
me here to clean.
I'm sorry about the coffee.
I can never get the
mixture just right.
I hope I haven't
given you too much.
[Andrea] Oh, James.
I needed someone.
Someone with no connection.
Someone who was alone
in life, and, well,
that no one would miss.
(camera beeps)
(keyboard clicks)
[James] What's going on?
Thought I'd save the battery up
for you until you come around.
The house, it
demands sacrifices.
We don't know why.
We just know that it does.
Maybe an ancestor made
a deal with the devil.
Or maybe it was built
on cursed ground.
But it doesn't really
matter now, right?
It's just,
it's just what must be done to
preserve the bloodline.
Houses don't eat people.
You've seen things
here, right, James?
Don't deny it.
Yeah, the souls of the innocent
people that you and your family
have murdered.
(chuckles) So you have
met the residents.
I'm not surprised.
Some are more shy than others.
Pia, oh, my God.
Pia, she can be
a nag, can't she?
Where's my dog?
Where's my dog?
And the window washer, picked
him up on the side of the road.
All it took to get him here
was the promise of a warm meal.
Hmm, didn't mention it would
be poisoned, though.
What about Ma?
Did she tuck you
into bed last night?
- Ma?
- Well, she's not my own mother.
Ma is just what I
decided to call her.
She was with child at
the time of her demise.
I guess she still get
that motherly instinct.
(scraping)
(sighs) Don't mind him.
My husband.
You killed your own husband?
Is it killing, if you just
lock the pantry door,
stranding him with plenty
of food, but, but no water.
Hmm?
Don't you dare look
at me like that.
Do you think I
wanted to do this?
He found out, about my family.
Our legacy.
Needless to say that, he didn't
approve, so I had no choice.
(tense music)
Oh, and did they drive you
mad with that old phone?
Some of them like to
communicate through it.
I'm not sure why.
You've heard about the
connections between spirits
and electronics, I assume.
Ah, it can get quite disruptive
ringing all hours of the night.
What if this killing
is all for nothing?
What if this curse
isn't even real?
Even so, I'd rather
not find out.
Okay, but the bodies, you know,
where do you put them
if, if the police
never found them?
The house.
The house swallowed them all.
(James grunts)
The doors are locked.
You'd never make it out, even
if your hands were unbound.
(tense music)
I found him.
(whimpering)
(panting)
[Reggie] I can lend
you my rifle.
(door creaking)
(softly) Shit, Shit.
(soft ominous music)
(static)
(scraping)
(gasps)
(static)
(static)
For me?
Dash.
(softly) Thank you.
(static)
(screaming)
(static)
[Andrea] You found his things,
did you?
(James screaming, panting)
You killed Dash.
I did.
So wouldn't he count as
one of your sacrifices?
I guess you're right.
I guess I should
cut you free then.
Yes.
- (banging)
- (radio playing music)
(James screaming)
I'm only joking.
You know too much now.
Two for the price of
one, just like with Ma.
(chuckles)
You enjoy this.
You could have killed me
earlier, but you didn't.
I would have finished
it all sooner,
but I'm not stupid, James.
I realized you brought
a friend with you.
Now it's your time to
join him and your mother.
(slashing)
(James groans)
(blood splattering)
(Andrea gurgling)
I guess the house got its
sacrifice after all.
(radio playing music fades)
(door creaking open)
Do you get it now why they
wouldn't let you leave?
[James] They wanted me to
get her confession.
Goodbye, James.
Bye, Dash.
(phone ringing)
[Mother's voicemail]
It's me, Mom.
I understand why
you didn't pick up,
And why you probably
won't even listen to this,
but if for some reason you do,
if one day your hate for me
isn't quite as strong
as it is today,
I just want to say I'm sorry.
I could have been much better.
Much better for you
and your sister.
And I'm so grateful you never
came home to see me this way.
So, I guess that's it.
Bye Jamesie.
I'd hate me too.
But maybe now, I can only hope
you hate me a little less.
(voicemail ends)
(gentle music)
(finger taps)
(creaking)
(gentle music)
(light clicks)
(phone dial spinning)
What was it again?
The house swallowed them all.
(gentle music)
(gentle music intensifies)
(dramatic music)
(computer mouse clicking)
(whoosh)
- (computer mouse clicking)
- (keyboard clicking)
(computer mouse clicking)
(computer mouse clicking)