Chemical Hearts (2020) Movie Script
[electricity crackling]
[boy] You are never more alive
than when youre a teenager.
[electricity zapping]
Your brain is flush
with chemicals
that can turn your life into
a story of epic proportions.
An A-minus feels like
the Pulitzer,
a lonely Saturday night
is an eternity of solitude,
and your lab partner becomes
the great love of your life.
And yet, by the start
of my senior year,
nothing interesting
or remarkable
had ever happened to me.
-I was grateful for my life.
-[laughs]
I had my best friends--
all two of them...
Relax.
You got this.
...parents who met
and fell in love
when they were my age,
and my writing.
[reading]
But a platform was pointless
unless I actually had
something to say.
And I didnt,
because nothing worth writing
about had ever happened to me.
[closes laptop]
Then, on the day
I found out about the job,
something finally happened.
[chattering]
[sighs]
[man] Hi, guys.
Thanks for swinging by.
Come on in.
You want us both?
Yes, both of you
would be great.
Come on.
[man] Grace just transferred
here from East River,
where she spent two years
writing for the Gazette.
You both possess
remarkable depth
for writers your age.
Which is why I think
that you two will make
a truly dynamic
editor-in-chief duo.
No.
What?
Uh, one more time?
I dont want
to be an editor.
But thank you.
Um...
Hey.
-Whyd you say no?
-What?
Whyd you say no?
Why do you care?
What?
Why do you care?
Uh... I dont.
Its just
a good opportunity
for a writer, I guess.
I just dont get
why you would say no.
All right, well,
dont let it
keep you up at night.
[sighs]
Oh, shit.
What?
I just missed
my bus.
Cant walk?
Um... no,
I mean, I can.
Its just far.
Uh, thats why
I take the bus.
My house is up there.
I have a car.
I can give you
a ride if you want.
Yeah?
Thanks.
Hey, so you like
"Nehradah"?
Neruda.
Oh. [laughs]
Oh. Um...
Yeah, well,
I only read a stanza,
but I thought
it was really beautiful.
You think so?
Yeah. Do you not?
No, I just think
thats what people say
when they read a poem
that they dont understand.
Hmm.
[sniffs]
[Grace] Finish it.
And let me know
if you still
feel the same way.
[bicycle bell dings]
[train horn blowing in distance]
Huh.
Its a cool place.
How come
you walk to school
if you have a car?
I dont like driving.
-Do you have a license?
-Yeah.
["Take Care" by Beach House
playing over speakers]
Id take care of you
Its a good song.
If you ask me to
[song continues faintly]
[engine and music stop]
[birds chirping]
You live in a house
like this,
but you dont have a car?
-I guess my grades arent
good enough for a car, so...
-Hmm.
Thanks a lot.
Uh...
Well,
Ill see you tomorrow?
Okay.
Henry.
Whats up, Suds?
You, uh, just get back
or something?
[Suds] Mmm, no.
Just leaving.
Im late.
So, uh,
whos the girl?
-What girl?
-[Suds] The one
that drove Henry home.
A girl
drove you home?
[chuckles]
[Suds]
She left her car here
and walked away.
[whispers]
Run.
Yeah, when are you gonna
move back out again?
Ignore her.
Shes declared war on love.
No, just on
cheating assholes.
Will you see him
today?
Oh, my God.
Hes my attending,
Mom.
Ill see him
several times today.
So, how was
the first day back?
Good. Yeah.
It was good.
Did you get it?
[Henry]
Uh...
-Yeah.
-[mother] Oh.
[Suds]
Yeah, you did.
[chuckles]
Congratulations,
sweetie.
Nice work.
[Suds]
Okay, got to go.
Love you, guys.
So, whos the girl?
["Take Care" by Beach House
playing over speakers]
Id take care of you
If youd ask me to
In a year or two
Oh-oh-oh
[Henry] "I do not love you
as if you were the salt-rose,
topaz or arrow of carnations
that propagate fire.
I love you as certain
dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow
and the soul."
"...the shadow
and the soul."
"I love you like the plant
that does not bloom,
but carries
within itself, hidden,
the light of those flowers."
"...thanks to your love,
lives darkly in my body..."
"...a certain solid fragrance
that has risen from the earth.
I love you without knowing
how or when or from where.
I love you straightforwardly,
without complexities or pride,
in which there is
no you nor I,
so close that your hand
upon my chest is mine.
So close that your hand upon
my chest is mine.
[sighs]
So close that your eyes close
as I dream."
-I have no idea what you said,
but it worked.
-What?
I think the newspapers
gonna be a really
good thing for her.
We will have four issues--
the first in November,
the last in June.
The first three
are garden-variety
periodicals:
hard-hitting news, sports,
features, the like.
But the last one,
thats where we get creative.
With the help of the group,
Henry will choose a theme,
and you will have
carte blanche
to explore that theme
as you see fit.
That last issue will be
this teams legacy,
an opportunity to share
your accrued wisdom
with the students
behind you.
Im not just talking
about the four years
that youve spent
within the walls
of this building.
I am talking
bigger than that.
I am talking about the totality
of your 17 years on this planet.
Last but not least,
Grace here joins us
from our neighboring school,
East River Preparatory,
and will lend Henry
a helping hand
with all things editorial.
Now, heres what Kyle
and his team did for
last years final issue.
Um, Im sorry.
Uh, Kyle sucks.
[laughter]
[teacher]
Very constructive, La.
Well, okay, um...
the final issue last year
did kind of suck.
[quiet laughter]
[sighs]
All right.
[students chattering quietly]
Um, hey,
so I dont know
what your thoughts...
So,
Im not writing.
If you have something
to say, you can just
say it yourself,
and Ill help with,
like, editing
and design and...
I handle design.
Well, everything
other than design then.
But just not...
just not writing.
And Im
assistant editor,
because apparently
you worked very hard
for this,
so it should be
all yours.
[Henry] Looks like
Coras into you again.
Yo, what is the deal
with her?
Shes making eyes at me,
laughing at all my jokes,
and its like this
air pocket thats, like,
connecting us,
and its just filled with,
like, marshmallows,
gummy bears, and freakin
bubble gum and sparklies,
and its just like,
if I eat it,
Im gonna get another cavity
like last year, and I cant.
Hmm,
good metaphor.
Thank you.
I appreciate it.
Hey, Grace.
Hankard.
I, um...
This is our bus!
...actually didnt get
a chance to tell you,
I finished that poem.
And, um... yeah.
I still think
its beautiful,
but not in the,
uh, normal kind
of bullshit way.
Um, which, uh,
which I think is also
kind of what
the poems about,
cause, you know,
Nerudas love for her
doesnt come from,
like, uh... [sighs]
sunshine and roses
and clich stuff.
You know,
it comes from,
um, her... flaws
and her imperfections,
like, darker places.
[La] Hankard!
Uh,
comes from...
[boy] Come on,
you flirt!
...I guess who she has
the potential to be
and not just
who she is.
So, I dont know.
So, beautiful in
that kind of way,
you know.
Youre gonna
miss your bus again.
[singsongy]
I see you.
[rock song playing]
Whats he doing?
[song fades]
Um, you think I could
get another ride?
Sure.
Id take care of you
If youd ask me to
[car door closes]
Thanks for letting me
drive myself home again.
[Henry] Where do you go to?
Why do you go?
What are your colors?
What are your moods?
To see you, I turn.
To know you, I burn.
[brakes squeak outside]
[car door closes,
engine starts]
[sighs heavily]
[Cora speaking Spanish]
-Okay. Bye.
-[LA whispering]
Oh, my God,
it kills me
when she speaks Spanish.
Dont you want to say,
"Whats up?"
Why? So she can ghost me again?
I mean...
See you, guys.
Uh, see you.
Bye.
Uh-huh.
[Cora] Bye.
[sighs] Fuck.
Meh.
Meh.
Meh-meh.
[music playing faintly
over earbuds]
[sighs]
What was that little
"meh-meh" thing?
Uh... oh,
um... um...
[laughs]
I just-- we--
when were just,
um, I guess,
annoyed,
we just do that.
I dont know.
Mmm.
Um...
Uh, you think
youd give me
a ride today, maybe?
Hey, do you want
to come in and hang out
or something?
I cant today.
Okay.
Um...
Ill just see you
tomorrow then, so...
Okay.
Henry?
Hmm?
Meet me here
at 6:00.
Okay.
Yeah, I can meet--
Ill meet you there
at 6:00.
Yeah.
Bring a loaf
of bread.
[brakes squeak outside]
[vehicle door opens, closes]
[car door opens]
-[Henry]
What happened to your car?
-[Grace] Its back at my house.
Did you drive it
back and then
you walked here?
We dont need it.
-[insects trilling]
-[birds chirping]
[water dripping]
Come on.
[cane thumping steadily]
It was a cotton mill
in the 1800s,
and then...
they made plastic bottles
until it shut down
in 1989, I think.
[cane thumping steadily]
You have to be quiet.
-[Henry] Whoa.
-Shh.
Youll scare them away.
[whispers]
Come here.
[water sloshing]
[sighs]
[both chuckle]
[chuckles]
Have you ever
had a girlfriend?
[chuckles] Uh, no.
Uh, not really.
Why not?
Uh...
You ever had
a boyfriend?
[chuckles]
No.
So whats the deal?
I dont know.
[laughs]
Um...
Im not really good
at this stuff.
Well, I thought
you were a writer.
Uh... yeah,
I mean, exactly.
I could probably
go home right now
and write you something
about why Ive never
had a girlfriend,
like an essay
or whatever.
Oh, so you just
have to edit everything.
No,
its not editing.
Its just,
writing, I think,
sometimes helps me...
understand myself,
I guess, cause...
a lot of times,
I dont really know
how I feel about something
until I really sit down
and think about it.
But, I mean,
you havent
shared much either.
[sighs]
[cane thumps]
[water sloshes]
[sighs]
I did some of
my physical therapy
in a pool.
Nine months ago,
the car swerved
coming around a bend
and hit the rock barrier
and the car flipped.
Not that it really
even matters.
When I look at that,
it reminds me
that people are just
the ashes of dead stars.
Were just a collection
of atoms that...
come together
for a brief period
of time,
and then...
we fall apart.
When all of this
is over,
and were dispersed back
into nothingness...
we have
a clean slate.
Its like having
all of your sins
wiped away.
Sure you dont want
to write for the paper?
What sins do you need
wiped away?
[Grace]
I used to be a vandal.
[Henry]
You did this?
When I was 14.
What is that,
like, Latin?
Whats it mean?
[inhales deeply]
Im tired.
Im gonna... head home.
[sniffs]
Uh...
Do you want me to...
Can you find your way back?
Yeah. Uh...
But are you
all right?
Yeah, fine.
Uh, thanks
for hanging out.
Um...
Yeah, sure. Anytime.
[panting sharply]
["Heart Skipped a Beat"
by The xx playing]
[sighs]
[vase breaks]
Please dont say were done
When Im not finished
Cause I could give
So much more
Make you feel
Like never before
Welcome, they said
Welcome to the floor
Its been a while
And youve found...
Why are you
still up?
Um, just working
on this.
Is that the one
Mom and Dad got you
on your birthday?
Mm-hmm.
Dont-- hey.
Its still drying.
Touchy, touchy,
Henry.
Sometimes I still
Need you
Sometimes I still need you
Sometimes I still
Need you...
It is an odd hobby
for a 17-year-old boy.
Sometimes I still need you
Did you know that, uh,
heartbreak triggers
the same areas of the brain
as physical pain?
When I think
about him leaving me,
my brain sends
a distress signal
to my nervous system.
[sobs quietly]
And it elevates
my blood pressure
and my heart rate,
giving me chest pains.
[sobs]
Okay.
And I was struggling
To get in...
[sobs]
Its happening right now.
[sobs]
Do you want me
to go get Mom?
Oh, God, no,
please.
[sniffling] Jesus.
[groans]
[sobbing]
[students talking faintly,
voices echoing]
[teacher]
Henry.
Um...
Whats next?
Yeah.
Um, uh, okay.
Um, I was thinking
we all could
kind of just put out
a few ideas of themes
for the final issue.
No time
like the present.
How about a trippy
Alice in Wonderland
theme?
You know, like,
we all dropped acid
and went down
the rabbit hole.
Now, thats tight.
I could work
with that.
[exhales sharply]
Grace?
What?
[teacher]
Any ideas?
I dont know.
[teacher]
None?
Yeah, thats what
"I dont know" means.
Can I go to the bathroom?
I have to pee.
Of course.
[La]
Just ask her whats going on.
No,
I dont know.
I feel like
I dont know her
like that yet.
I dont know.
You should follow her.
What?
Yeah.
Dont you want to see
where she goes?
[chuckles] Oh.
What if shes hanging out
with her boyfriend?
[stifled laugh]
[laughs]
Oh, no.
Im not gonna
stalk her.
-[insects trilling]
-[birds chirping]
[quietly]
Maybe I was looking
for you.
Clearly, I wasnt
going to see you.
It just felt strange,
wanting to tell you...
[echoes, fades]
[footsteps through grass]
[typing]
-[phone clicks]
-[sighs]
[Henry] Would you be down
to talk over maybe
some theme ideas
or something?
Whatever you pick is fine.
Okay.
Should we just, like...
I just run my final
selections by you then, or--
I mean, it really
doesnt matter to me.
I just got
a new feature
in from Jade,
so I was just
gonna edit that.
[quietly]
Oh.
[birds chirping]
[phone chimes]
[sighs quietly]
[phone clicks]
Id like to match those,
but instead I will
match this.
Hey, Dad,
can I use the car?
Uh, sure, sure.
Where to?
Um... [laughs]
I dont know.
Nowhere, really.
So, where are you
going?
Its not
a cross-examination.
[laughs]
I mean, it feels
like that.
Well, youre asking us
to lend you our car,
and were asking
a simple question
in return.
Okay, um, Im just--
I dont know.
Im just gonna go to Muzs.
Now can I have the keys?
Youre not even using it.
Youre entitled
to your privacy.
If you dont want us
to know something,
say so.
But dont insult us
with a lie.
Its beneath you.
Just-- You can Uber.
What? I cant Uber.
I dont have
a credit card.
Well, then youre
gonna have to walk.
[sighing]
[lights buzzing]
[Grace panting sharply]
[grunts]
[panting]
[grunts]
[grunts]
Fuck! [shouts]
[sobbing quietly]
[panting]
[sobbing echoes]
[groaning]
[phone clicks]
[typing]
[typing]
[phone clicks]
[sighs]
[murmuring]
Hi.
Hey.
Whats up?
So,
I couldnt sleep
last night,
so I was searching
through Mrs. Kleins
syllabus,
and I noticed
a very interesting
trend.
Uh...
Look at them.
Okay.
[Henry]
Um, yeah.
Theyre, um,
all about young people?
[Grace]
And they all
involve suicide.
Romeo and Juliet
off themselves.
Werther
shoots himself.
Holden contemplates
suicide.
Conrad tries
to kill himself
by slashing his wrists.
This is what
you were up thinking
about last night?
Yeah.
Is that normal?
Oh, Jesus.
What?
Well, I...
[sighs]
You...
You, uh, like,
seemed down this week,
so thats a little
scary, I guess.
Okay.
How do I
explain this?
Um... okay.
Think about what it means
to be a teenager. Okay?
Your parents
pressure you to succeed.
Your friends
pressure you to do shit
you dont want to do.
Social media
pressures you
to hate your body.
Its hard, even if youre
a well-adjusted kid
from a good family.
Okay.
So, now imagine you cant be
with the person that you love,
like Romeo and Juliet
or Werther,
or you lose the person
that you love,
like Holden or Conrad.
Theres a reason why,
when every author,
from Shakespeare to Salinger,
writes about young people,
they cant avoid
the truth, that...
being young
is so painful,
its almost, like,
too much to feel.
Yeah, are you, like...
suicidal or...
No. God.
I mean...
Look, Im not gonna
kill myself.
But have I thought about
what it would be like
to just not be here anymore?
Yeah.
And I dont
say that casually,
but I do say it
because hiding that shit
and not saying it
makes it worse.
It should be talked about.
All of our shit
should be talked about.
Mmm.
The teenage years are...
limbo.
Youre somewhere between
being a kid and an adult,
and the world, uh,
tells you to be mature
and express yourself,
but the minute that you do,
it tells you to shut up.
The thing is,
adults are just scarred kids
who were lucky enough
to make it
out of limbo alive.
Which is why...
the theme of our last issue
should be "Teenage Limbo."
[quietly]
Yeah.
-[mouse clicking]
-[La] Henrys sister is studying
to become a neurosurgeon,
and she explained
that the teenage brain
goes through an upgrade
before it matures
to an adult brain.
So, the upgrade
is like an explosion
of connections and synapses
as we figure out
whats right.
[gasps]
Or wrong.
[sighs]
What we like,
what we dont like.
You know,
who we want to be.
-[mouse clicking]
-Each page of the issue
is the brain
refining itself,
figuring itself out,
until eventually
its out of limbo.
So dope.
[quietly]
Yeah.
Dope.
[claps]
All right.
Sweet.
Um... so I think
we could kind of just
start a--
kind of a discussion, like
what are we confused about,
what, uh,
maybe scares us.
Um, like,
are there things maybe
you keep inside
that youre afraid to...
Um...
Do you have
something?
Um...
Well, yeah,
I mean, I do,
but I was gonna...
I think
I was gonna write it,
uh, which...
Hmm.
[Henry smacks lips]
Um...
[chuckles]
Uh, when Mike Johnson
killed himself
a couple years ago,
um...
I realized that
I still had, um, this...
Hustler magazine
that he gave me
when we were, like, 13
that, uh, he stole from
his dads collection.
And, um...
[laughs]
I dont know.
I feel really stupid
admitting this,
but, um, kind of
freaked me out.
Like, I couldnt really
sleep at night
with this magazine
in my drawer.
Um, like it was just
kind of...
like,
haunted or something.
Um...
And basically, it just
was kind of too important
to throw away,
but it was also
too weird to keep,
so I went to the tree
by the art park,
one where he,
uh, hung himself,
and I, um,
just buried it there.
And, um...
Yeah. Um...
I dont know.
It was weird,
cause for the first time,
I was old enough
to understand
the gravity of death,
but I was also, um,
you know, young enough
that it all came down
to just a stupid,
like, porn magazine.
[sighs]
[Grace] Im proud of you
for sharing that.
It must have been
hard for you.
Thanks.
Hey, whyd you
give up writing?
Youve obviously
got a lot of ideas.
Somebody really important
to me... died.
And, um...
and I was asked
to write something,
to say something,
like a eulogy,
because everyone knew
that I was the writer,
and, you know,
told me how beautiful
my words were, but...
Nothing came.
I just couldnt
find the words.
[chuckles]
What?
Uh, oh, no,
its just funny.
Um, cause, you know,
I cant find the words
when I talk,
and you cant
find the words
when you write.
That just
made me laugh.
[laughs]
You know what I mean?
["Wheres My Love"
by SYML playing]
Cold bones
Yeah, thats my love...
[laughs] Thank you, anyways.
Yeah, yeah.
I feel like its...
[laughs] You dont
have to drink it.
Its not that I dont want it.
Yeah, sure...
Yeah.
Ooh, does she know
That we bleed the same...
[Henry] You want to see
a movie this weekend?
[Grace]
I dont think I can.
Ooh...
[Henry]
You got other plans?
[Grace] No, I just have
a ton of stuff to do.
[bird calling in distance]
[Henry]
So, you used to run track?
[Grace]
Yeah, I was a sprinter.
[Henry] Oh, what else did you do
in your previous life?
[Grace]
Oh, God. [sighs]
Lit magazine, yearbook staff,
student government...
[chuckles]
beer pong champion.
[Henry] Um, first football game
is Friday night,
if you want to go.
Not that I care,
but its fun.
We usually pregame,
and everyone goes.
[Grace]
That sounds fun, but I cant.
Another time though.
What would you say is the
dumbest thing youve ever done?
[Henry] Um, probably
when I put my finger
in an electric pencil sharpener
in first grade.
It didnt go, um, super well.
[Grace laughs] What did
you think was gonna happen?
[Henry] I guess I thought
it would trim my fingernail.
In the night
[laughs]
Ooh, does she know
That we bleed the same?
Ooh...
[Grace] I used to be good
at socializing.
I mean, I used to do it
all the time.
[Henry]
What changed?
[Grace] I guess
I stopped seeing the point.
Sometimes its just easier
to slip into your own dark abyss
and forget the world exists.
Did she run away...
[Henry] Yeah, I see her
in you sometimes,
like, these, um,
flashes of this girl
that you used to be.
Um, but was she an act
and youre more yourself now,
or is the Grace
that I know an act
until you feel comfortable
being yourself again?
[Grace]
I dont know. People change.
Theres no way youre
the same person you were
when you were 14.
[singers vocalizing]
[song fades]
Hey, um...
What?
All right, so Heslin is having
his annual Halloween party
tomorrow night.
And it doesnt
have to be a big thing.
Doesnt have to be
a date or whatever.
No, thats not why.
I think it could...
Thats not why.
...maybe be,
um, just fun.
Itd be good to--
good for you,
kind of get back
to doing old Grace
things. Um...
Oh, is the new Grace
not good enough
for you or...
No. No, no.
Thats not what I meant.
Um, no.
I think, um...
Hey, hey.
Lets go.
-Yeah?
-Yeah.
Your keys.
[keys clink]
Can I come in?
You dont have
to go somewhere?
No, Im not going
to where I go today,
so...
Okay, yeah.
No, totally.
Yeah?
Yeah, come in.
[chuckles]
Give me two.
[door opens]
Ill take three.
But you get three
first. Here.
Hey, guys.
Whats up?
Hey, Henry.
Hey.
[door closes]
Join us, bud.
Uh,
cant right now.
But this is Grace.
[all] Hi!
Oh.
Its Grace!
-Yeah.
-Yeah. You actually came in.
Weve only seen
your car up until now.
[chuckles]
Just gonna pick up
this stuff here.
[sighs heavily]
-[music begins loudly]
-[grunts]
[volume decreases]
["Die 4 You" by Perfume Genius
playing over speakers]
Oh, my love...
[Grace]
How did this break?
Oh, um...
I broke that,
actually.
Uh, its called
Kintsukuroi.
Its kind of this
old-school Japanese
art form
where you mend back
broken pottery
with seams of gold.
Oh, my love
Take your time
[sighs]
See it through
[sighs]
[song fades]
["Take Care" by Beach House
playing over speakers]
Id take care of you...
Wait, uh,
is this...
Oh, its the song
that you like to play
in your car.
Are you okay?
In a year or two...
Why are you--
why are you
playing this?
I mean, I dont know.
I like it. I...
Kind of reminds me
of us, I guess.
[stammers]
Hey. Hey.
Im sorry
I played that.
I didnt know.
I thought...
[stammers]
I dont know.
We listen to it
all the time
in the car together.
Okay, but its not
our song, okay?
Okay.
Its not for you
and me.
Okay.
Whos it for?
What is it?
[sniffles] Dom.
[sobbing]
He was my boyfriend.
He was driving the car,
and I fucked up my knee,
but he...
Oh. Im sorry.
I didnt...
[panting]
I understand if you dont
want to, like--
if you dont want to do
anything with me--
[sobbing]
Hey.
Can you let me
drive you home?
No, please.
Please stop,
Henry.
Why?
Because Im fucked up,
okay?
Come on. Whats wrong?
Can I drive you
home?
Yes. No. Please.
Please?
Come on. Why?
No.
Im messed up.
Its okay.
I dont care.
No, its not!
Its not when you realize
that Im not one of
your fucking vases, okay?
[electricity crackling,
whooshing]
[chattering, muted]
[Henry] You guys think
this needs to be here?
-[La] No.
-[Henry] Youre right.
I dont feel like
we needed it anyway.
It doesnt
make sense.
Seriously?
Hey, guys.
Are you going
to Heslins tonight?
Yeah.
Maybe.
We might
come through.
Cool.
Well, I hope you do.
Hmm.
What time is Elks
picking us up?
Um, I do not know.
Im not going, so...
No. No, no, no.
[chuckles]
No, were going.
A little beautiful creature,
who might be a part of
the fairy kingdom like myself,
just invited me
to her magical,
enchanted forest.
And Im gonna take
this opportunity
to fly.
Meh.
"Meh" yourself.
Dont dip out
cause of that chick.
What?
I need you there
for moral support.
No, its not cause of her.
Im not feeling well,
thats all.
Oh, my God.
Wow.
Elks has Kush.
[sighs]
What kind of Kush?
-[dance music playing loudly]
-[chattering]
Take it easy, bro.
Easy in, easy out.
Its a marathon,
not a sprint.
[coughs]
Yeah, I know.
[shudders]
Hey.
Whats up?
Shes already talking
to someone else.
Man, I knew I shouldnt have
gotten my hopes up.
Man, shes just playing me.
Go.
[shudders]
Go. Go.
I need to ease
into it, bro.
Why?
[girl, singsongy]
Henry Page.
I cannot.
I cant.
[chuckles]
Bye, Henry.
[girl] ...comes sprinting in,
his hands are over his face,
and he just pukes.
He just pukes
everywhere.
No one knew what to do.
It was between this
tiny little crevice
between the wall
and the fridge--
Im just gonna
get some water.
What?
Im just gonna
get some water.
Are you okay?
Yeah, Im good.
[dance music continues]
-[dance music playing]
-[chattering]
Got you this.
Thank you.
Yeah.
[chuckles softly]
What?
You look, um...
Thotty?
I was gonna say hot.
Well, its my costume
from last year.
Are you doing okay?
Yeah.
In this moment,
Im... Im okay.
I think youre
the most confusing
human being
Ive ever met.
[chuckles]
And I think
Im just the most
confused human being
youve ever met
and that confuses you.
[laughs]
Yeah, well...
Im, uh,
pretty trashed
right now,
so I guess Im even
more confused.
[chuckles]
[both chuckle]
["Piece Of Your Heart" by Meduza
playing over speakers]
Im turning you up to getting
Down, down, down...
Hey, Ive been
looking for you.
Oh, yeah?
Yeah.
Uh, so last year,
I, uh...
I get it.
It was weird.
We can just be friends.
Cool.
I hooked up
with a lot of girls
last summer.
[scoffs] Okay.
Yeah, uh, I was just
really confused after we...
you know.
I know.
I dont know.
I tried to, uh,
figure that out, I guess.
But...
I realized that
I didnt feel anything
for any of them.
I dont necessarily
know how to, um,
label myself, but...
I know what I feel
when youre in front of me.
Its like, uh,
we are--
or, uh, we be.
Then lets just be.
And if its physical
Keep it subliminal
Show me what you want
Show me a piece
Of your heart
A piece of your love
Im calling you up to getting
Down, down, down...
[song fades]
["Vulnerable" by Tinashe
playing over speakers]
These niggas aint nothing
On you, baby
You got it, got it
The way you run shit
And make it rain so well
My Birkin bag...
[laughs]
Oh, no.
I cant dance.
No.
Oh, yeah
These niggas aint
Bout it, bout it
These niggas aint nothing
On you, baby
You got it, got it
The way you run shit
And make it rain so well
My Birkin bag
My pinky ring
Coattail
Oh, yeah
Dont stop looking at me
-Dont stop looking at me
-No, no
Dont stop looking at me
-Dont stop looking at me
-Dont
Dont stop looking at me
-Dont stop looking at me
-Dont
Dont stop looking at me
-Dont stop looking at me
-Dont
Dont stop looking at me
Dont stop
Looking at me
Dont stop...
[panting]
Wait, wait.
Wait, wait, wait.
Hold on.
[sighs]
I hope you dont have
high expectations...
cause Im probably
pretty rusty.
Well, I hope you dont have
high expectations either,
cause Ive never
done this before.
Do you have a condom?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I should get it?
Get it.
Get it, okay.
[Henry grunts,
sighs]
Oh. Oh, God.
[laughs]
Let me do it.
Okay.
Im sorry. I laugh
when Im nervous.
Do you want me
to do it?
Yeah. Sure.
[grunts]
[sighs]
[both panting]
[both grunt]
[panting]
Henry, Henry,
Henry, Henry.
Yeah?
Dont try to be
good at it, okay?
Just be here with me.
[quietly]
Okay.
[light switch clicks]
[birds chirping]
[gasps]
[sobbing]
[birds chirping]
[line ringing]
-[Grace]
Leave your message.
-[beep]
Um, hey, Grace.
Um, just want to say hi,
and that, um...
you know, despite
my lack of experience,
um, hope that,
uh, last night
just kind of meant
a tiny fraction to you
as it meant to me.
And, yeah, um...
Then also, I promise
if we ever get the chance
to do it again, um--
[laughs] I mean,
cause not that--
Im not presumptuous enough
to think that we will,
but, like, if we do,
then, uh, you know,
I promise
that itll be better.
Uh, no,
that Ill be better.
[chuckles]
Um, cause, uh, you know,
um, practice does
make, uh, perfect.
So, uh, yeah.
Bye-bye.
[sighs] Oh, fuck,
that was dumb.
[crickets chirping]
[groaning]
[phone chimes]
[clicks]
[text message swooshes]
[typing]
[sighs]
["A Great Design" by Black
Marble playing over speakers]
What?
Surprise.
How did this happen?
It was just time.
Shit. All right.
Um, where are we going?
Youll see.
Monochrome
Its a Saturn world
Lying beneath the rings
And they tell me
We dont have a long time
Till our decline
All the grown men
Are set in their ways
Shining in the street
And they tell me
We dont have a long time
A great design
[song fades]
[ship horn blowing in distance]
[sighs]
We used to come here
all the time
before he died.
I loved this drive.
I want to be able
to love it again.
I needed you here.
I needed your support.
Hold this.
[Henry] Is this
from the factory?
What does it mean?
[Grace] "Save me,
and I will save you."
That was us.
I want to move on.
["We Stayed Up All Night"
by Tourist feat. Ardyn playing]
So lets pretend
That we have no weight...
Im telling you,
Sharma...
[laughs]
...dropped his glasses
right into the toilet.
He nearly flushed
them down there.
[laughter]
But he fished them out,
cause he got
the same glasses on.
Were young, have time...
No, I sw--
I...
Can I join you guys?
Out we run
Okay.
Okay, got it?
Yeah, that was
very helpful.
Okay, good.
Thank you.
Youre welcome.
[Sharma]
Hey, with all the news
thats fit to print,
your first issue!
Congratulations!
[cheering]
Well...
Hmm. Yeah.
I wont give it up tonight
I wont give it up
Tonight
I wont give it up tonight
I wont give it up
Tonight
[song fades]
[birds chirping]
Stay here.
Whose car is that?
Stay here, Henry.
[Grace]
Arent you supposed
to remember that?
[woman] No, I dont
remember that!
[Grace]
I dont want--
No, no. Go! Go!
[woman sobs]
[tires screeching]
[door opens]
Hey.
That your mom?
No.
Yeah.
It doesnt... matter.
You all right?
Im fine.
Can we go?
[brakes squeak]
[both sigh]
So do you live
with your dad?
[sighs]
[chuckles]
I mean,
I just feel like
I dont know anything
about your family.
Well, yeah.
Well, okay,
you know enough.
Something obviously
just happened,
so I dont know how
Im supposed to help you--
You dont.
You dont help me.
I didnt ask for your help,
so stop trying to help me.
Stop trying to fix me,
all right?
[Sharma]
Oh, look at this.
Its a lollygagging
convention in here.
Lets go, people.
We have three more
issues to plan.
Id love to see
a little focus, please.
Henry, wheres
your partner in crime?
I dont know.
She sick?
I dont know.
Todays the anniversary
of her accident.
Oh, dear. I, um...
I didnt know that.
Yeah. East River
had a candlelight vigil
for her boyfriend.
[line ringing]
-[chattering]
-[line continues ringing]
Does she drive?
Does she have her license?
Should we be...
[continues indistinctly]
Youre probably
right about that.
-[Grace] Leave your message.
-[beep]
I would think so.
Would you?
Yeah.
[sighs]
I dont know.
Muck around.
Muck around
a little more.
Muck.
What? Stop it.
No. Ow.
Stop.
Muck around.
Hankard. Hankard.
Yo, where you going?
[panting]
[thunder rumbling]
[door opens]
Henry?
That you?
Yeah.
Come on in.
[thunder rumbling]
I must have fallen asleep
in front of the tube.
Im Martin, by the way.
[sportscast playing on TV]
Oh.
This is my wife Sarah.
Hi.
[Henry] Hello.
[groans, coughs]
Grace has talked
a lot about you.
Says youve been
a good friend.
Yeah, I just wanted
to make sure
that she was okay,
cause I didnt
talk to her today.
Um, and, you know,
given what day it is,
I... I, uh...
Well, she should be home
pretty soon.
You can wait upstairs
if you want.
Um, well, thank you.
It was good meeting
you guys.
[Martin] Yeah.
Nice meeting you, Henry.
Yeah.
[Grace]
So now you know.
Do you live here?
[sniffles] Yeah.
I moved in a month
before the accident
to get away from my mom.
She was drinking a lot,
and she was in really
bad shape.
But youre still here.
Where else was
I supposed to go,
my moms boyfriends couch?
[sniffles]
[sighs]
You went back for that?
[sniffles]
[panting]
Do you even
wash his clothes?
Cause you wear
his clothes, right?
Im doing the best
that I can.
Youre doing the best
you can, but youre living
in his fucking room?
We grew up together.
He was...
he was my family.
[stammers]
Im not asking you
to let him go.
Im giving you
all that I can.
And this... confusion
and this craziness
is what that looks like.
And you cant handle it,
but I never expected you to.
What else could I
possibly give you?
What else can you give me?
Are you fucking...
Oh, this is crazy.
This is crazy.
Just stop.
No, you stop!
Stop leading me on!
I just--
I didnt start dating you
out of nowhere or something.
I told you
to leave me alone.
Yeah, but then
you told me not to.
Well, because I dont know.
Because I dont know.
I know.
I dont know.
Im confused, Henry.
I dont know.
I know!
Ive known since, like,
the very beginning
that I love you.
I cant pretend
to be better because
thats what you want.
You said you wanted
to get better.
I do.
Im not ready yet.
Im not--
I do, but Im not
ready yet.
Well, I...
I dont care.
All right?
Yes, you do.
I...
No, I dont.
I dont care.
Seriously, I want you
exactly the way you are.
But you just got to
let me in and talk to me.
I love you.
-[thunder rumbling]
-[rain continues]
Why do you kiss me
like that?
Like what?
Like youre in love
with me.
Its the only way
I know how.
[crickets chirping]
-[door opens, slams]
-[TV playing quietly]
[mother] Plates for you
in the oven, toots.
-[father] Henry?
-What?
Whats wrong?
[sighs] Nothing.
Whats wrong?
Nothing.
Come here.
Come on.
We just want to know
whats going on.
Is it Grace?
Its just regular shit
that regular people
go through
that you are not
gonna understand.
Oh, come on.
Were not
regular people?
No. No. Are you
fucking kidding me?
Your relationships
been perfect
since you were my age.
I got this.
No, no, no,
no, no.
We should go.
Mom.
Hes right.
You dont understand.
I got it.
Did you guys break up?
Yeah.
I mean, I dont
even know if we were
actually together.
Maybe its just
a bump in the road.
No, she doesnt want me.
What happened?
[sniffles]
Shes in love
with someone else.
Oh, shit.
[quietly]
Okay.
[sighs]
You want the good news
or the bad news?
Neither.
Well, the bad news is
its gonna hurt.
Your brain has gotten
used to a steady stream
of dopamine
and oxytocin.
Here we go again.
Yeah, I know.
Im sorry,
but thats what causes
all those blissed-out
feelings of love.
And now its replaced
with stress hormones.
Theyre gonna make you
feel like garbage.
Headaches, tight muscles,
tight chest.
Your bodys craving
those feel-good chemicals.
Its basically withdrawal.
Oh, awesome.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yesterday was the first day
I didnt think about him.
And tomorrow
Im going on my first date.
Henry.
Hmm?
Love--
its a chemical reaction
that comes and goes.
Heres the good news:
so is heartbreak.
Your brain adjusts.
Your body chemistry
changes back to normal.
Its all
a waste of time.
[quietly]
Oh, no.
Hey.
Would you take it
all back if you could?
You cant.
Shes a part of you now.
[crickets chirping]
[lighter clicks]
[night birds chirping]
[both]
Are you trying to...
Are you gonna copy me
this whole time? Okay.
[Cora] No, but I actually have
a real question. Wait.
You cant do that.
Whats over there?
[chuckles] I did it.
[laughs] I did it.
[La] Where you going?
Um...
I dont know.
Just dont want
to watch this.
Wow.
You just cant be happy
for anybody else.
Boo.
Dont even--
dont do that.
[laughs]
Dont do that.
[phone chimes]
[phone clicks]
Whoa.
-[man] Watch it!
-[horn honks]
Oh!
[girl]
Whoa, did you see that?
[water dripping]
[Grace sobbing]
Grace?
[panting]
Are you okay?
I need to--
-I need to tell you.
-What? What do you need?
I need to tell you.
-What?
-I need to say it, Dom.
I need to say it, Dom.
[sobbing]
Okay, say it.
It should have been me.
It should have been me.
[sobbing]
It should have been me.
No. No.
It should have been me.
Yes, you fucking
asshole!
It was my fault!
No, it wasnt,
Grace.
Yes, it was.
-No, it wasnt.
-You told me to stop
teasing you.
You told me.
[sobbing] You told me,
and I didnt listen.
I didnt listen.
Its okay.
I just wanted
to make you laugh.
-Its okay. Its okay.
-But you told me to stop.
Oh, Im sorry.
Its all right.
Im sorry. Im sorry!
Its okay.
Its okay.
[sobbing]
Its okay.
[sobbing continues]
[panting]
[sobs]
[sniffles]
I felt him swerve.
And I knew, in that
fraction of a second,
that we were gonna crash.
And my last thought
before it happened was,
"Shit."
The last thought
I was about to have
in my entire life was, "Shit."
I didnt think about Dom.
I didnt even think
about him.
[sobs]
Does that make me
a bad person, Henry?
No.
[sobs]
Makes you a person.
I wonder what he was
thinking about.
I wonder what
his last thought was.
He was thinking
about you, Grace.
Guarantee it.
[sniffles]
[water continues dripping]
[cane thumping]
[sniffles]
[sniffles]
I was gonna marry him
in that dress.
[electricity crackling,
whooshing]
[gearshift clicks]
[engine idling]
No, you keep it.
Its cold out.
[students chattering]
[Sharma]
Quick announcement,
everyone.
If I might have
everyones attention
for a moment, please.
-[chattering stops]
-Thank you.
So, I wanted to let you know
that Grace Town has decided
to take some time
off from school
to deal with
some personal issues.
And, um, when she returns,
shed prefer to focus
on her studies
rather than
the newspaper.
Im sure well all
miss her very much,
but, uh,
it does sound like
this is the best decision
for her at this time.
I know this news
might come
as a disappointment,
but I want you to know
that I have
the utmost faith
in this group of people
[echoing, fading]
to produce three stellar issues.
[birds chirping]
-[electricity crackling]
-[Henry] When youre a teenager,
the chemicals in your brain
drive you to make decisions
that rip you away from
the safety of your childhood
and drag you into
the wilderness of adulthood.
A friend once told me
that adults are just
scarred kids
who were lucky enough
to make it out of
teenage limbo alive.
I urge you to go outside
and look at the world
through that prism.
Look at your parents,
your older siblings.
Look at strangers
you pass on the street.
Look at them and imagine that,
at one point in their lives,
they too walked these halls.
They too felt
the unbearable loneliness,
the absolute
unbearable powerlessness
and darkness of being young.
Number two!
[students cheering]
This is three.
[students cheering]
[Henry] We tend to think
of scars as ugly or imperfect...
as things
we want to hide or forget.
But they never go away.
-[typing]
-As I write this,
my last editorial...
[reading]
I finally understand
that scars are not reminders
of whats been broken,
but rather
of whats been created.
[school bell ringing]
[chattering]
Hey.
Hey.
[quietly]
Lets...
Congratulations.
Yeah, you too.
Thank you.
Yeah.
Where are you
off to next year?
Im gonna go
to Bennington.
Its a school
in Vermont.
Its good for writing.
Nice.
What are you doing?
Uh, Im taking
a year off.
Just continuing
therapy.
Oh.
Yeah, I was never gonna
be ready until I was...
ready, you know?
Of course you know.
Yeah.
I have to go find
my words again.
Yeah.
You will.
I just want to say...
you are an extraordinary
collection of atoms,
Henry Page.
[breathes deeply]
[sighs]
["Take Care"
by Beach House playing]
[laughter]
Hey, is that
Hankard?
Hankard!
Hankard!
Lets go.
Um, I think
Im gonna walk.
Gonna walk?
Hey, whoa.
Im gonna walk too.
Feel this burning
Love of mine
Its no good
Unless its real...
Its a long walk.
Want some company?
Yeah, I do.
Wild-eyed turning
Till were running from it
Id take care of you
If youd ask me to
In a year or two
Oh-oh-oh
You say swimming in the lake
Well come across a snake
It is real
And then its fake
Feel its heartbeat
Feel what you heat
Far so fast
It feels too late
Id take care of you
If youd ask me to
In a year or two
Oh-oh-oh
Ill take care of you
Take care of you
Thats true
Ill take care of you
Take care of you
Thats true
Ill take care of you
Take care of you
Thats true
Ill take care of you
Take care of you
Thats true
Ill take care of you
Take care of you
Thats true
Ill take care of you
Take care of you
Thats true
Ill take care of you
Take care of you
Thats true
Ill take care of you
Take care of you
Thats true
Ill take care of you
Take care of you
Thats true
Ill take care of you
Take care of you
Thats true
Ill take care of you
Take care of you
Thats true
[song fades]
[boy] You are never more alive
than when youre a teenager.
[electricity zapping]
Your brain is flush
with chemicals
that can turn your life into
a story of epic proportions.
An A-minus feels like
the Pulitzer,
a lonely Saturday night
is an eternity of solitude,
and your lab partner becomes
the great love of your life.
And yet, by the start
of my senior year,
nothing interesting
or remarkable
had ever happened to me.
-I was grateful for my life.
-[laughs]
I had my best friends--
all two of them...
Relax.
You got this.
...parents who met
and fell in love
when they were my age,
and my writing.
[reading]
But a platform was pointless
unless I actually had
something to say.
And I didnt,
because nothing worth writing
about had ever happened to me.
[closes laptop]
Then, on the day
I found out about the job,
something finally happened.
[chattering]
[sighs]
[man] Hi, guys.
Thanks for swinging by.
Come on in.
You want us both?
Yes, both of you
would be great.
Come on.
[man] Grace just transferred
here from East River,
where she spent two years
writing for the Gazette.
You both possess
remarkable depth
for writers your age.
Which is why I think
that you two will make
a truly dynamic
editor-in-chief duo.
No.
What?
Uh, one more time?
I dont want
to be an editor.
But thank you.
Um...
Hey.
-Whyd you say no?
-What?
Whyd you say no?
Why do you care?
What?
Why do you care?
Uh... I dont.
Its just
a good opportunity
for a writer, I guess.
I just dont get
why you would say no.
All right, well,
dont let it
keep you up at night.
[sighs]
Oh, shit.
What?
I just missed
my bus.
Cant walk?
Um... no,
I mean, I can.
Its just far.
Uh, thats why
I take the bus.
My house is up there.
I have a car.
I can give you
a ride if you want.
Yeah?
Thanks.
Hey, so you like
"Nehradah"?
Neruda.
Oh. [laughs]
Oh. Um...
Yeah, well,
I only read a stanza,
but I thought
it was really beautiful.
You think so?
Yeah. Do you not?
No, I just think
thats what people say
when they read a poem
that they dont understand.
Hmm.
[sniffs]
[Grace] Finish it.
And let me know
if you still
feel the same way.
[bicycle bell dings]
[train horn blowing in distance]
Huh.
Its a cool place.
How come
you walk to school
if you have a car?
I dont like driving.
-Do you have a license?
-Yeah.
["Take Care" by Beach House
playing over speakers]
Id take care of you
Its a good song.
If you ask me to
[song continues faintly]
[engine and music stop]
[birds chirping]
You live in a house
like this,
but you dont have a car?
-I guess my grades arent
good enough for a car, so...
-Hmm.
Thanks a lot.
Uh...
Well,
Ill see you tomorrow?
Okay.
Henry.
Whats up, Suds?
You, uh, just get back
or something?
[Suds] Mmm, no.
Just leaving.
Im late.
So, uh,
whos the girl?
-What girl?
-[Suds] The one
that drove Henry home.
A girl
drove you home?
[chuckles]
[Suds]
She left her car here
and walked away.
[whispers]
Run.
Yeah, when are you gonna
move back out again?
Ignore her.
Shes declared war on love.
No, just on
cheating assholes.
Will you see him
today?
Oh, my God.
Hes my attending,
Mom.
Ill see him
several times today.
So, how was
the first day back?
Good. Yeah.
It was good.
Did you get it?
[Henry]
Uh...
-Yeah.
-[mother] Oh.
[Suds]
Yeah, you did.
[chuckles]
Congratulations,
sweetie.
Nice work.
[Suds]
Okay, got to go.
Love you, guys.
So, whos the girl?
["Take Care" by Beach House
playing over speakers]
Id take care of you
If youd ask me to
In a year or two
Oh-oh-oh
[Henry] "I do not love you
as if you were the salt-rose,
topaz or arrow of carnations
that propagate fire.
I love you as certain
dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow
and the soul."
"...the shadow
and the soul."
"I love you like the plant
that does not bloom,
but carries
within itself, hidden,
the light of those flowers."
"...thanks to your love,
lives darkly in my body..."
"...a certain solid fragrance
that has risen from the earth.
I love you without knowing
how or when or from where.
I love you straightforwardly,
without complexities or pride,
in which there is
no you nor I,
so close that your hand
upon my chest is mine.
So close that your hand upon
my chest is mine.
[sighs]
So close that your eyes close
as I dream."
-I have no idea what you said,
but it worked.
-What?
I think the newspapers
gonna be a really
good thing for her.
We will have four issues--
the first in November,
the last in June.
The first three
are garden-variety
periodicals:
hard-hitting news, sports,
features, the like.
But the last one,
thats where we get creative.
With the help of the group,
Henry will choose a theme,
and you will have
carte blanche
to explore that theme
as you see fit.
That last issue will be
this teams legacy,
an opportunity to share
your accrued wisdom
with the students
behind you.
Im not just talking
about the four years
that youve spent
within the walls
of this building.
I am talking
bigger than that.
I am talking about the totality
of your 17 years on this planet.
Last but not least,
Grace here joins us
from our neighboring school,
East River Preparatory,
and will lend Henry
a helping hand
with all things editorial.
Now, heres what Kyle
and his team did for
last years final issue.
Um, Im sorry.
Uh, Kyle sucks.
[laughter]
[teacher]
Very constructive, La.
Well, okay, um...
the final issue last year
did kind of suck.
[quiet laughter]
[sighs]
All right.
[students chattering quietly]
Um, hey,
so I dont know
what your thoughts...
So,
Im not writing.
If you have something
to say, you can just
say it yourself,
and Ill help with,
like, editing
and design and...
I handle design.
Well, everything
other than design then.
But just not...
just not writing.
And Im
assistant editor,
because apparently
you worked very hard
for this,
so it should be
all yours.
[Henry] Looks like
Coras into you again.
Yo, what is the deal
with her?
Shes making eyes at me,
laughing at all my jokes,
and its like this
air pocket thats, like,
connecting us,
and its just filled with,
like, marshmallows,
gummy bears, and freakin
bubble gum and sparklies,
and its just like,
if I eat it,
Im gonna get another cavity
like last year, and I cant.
Hmm,
good metaphor.
Thank you.
I appreciate it.
Hey, Grace.
Hankard.
I, um...
This is our bus!
...actually didnt get
a chance to tell you,
I finished that poem.
And, um... yeah.
I still think
its beautiful,
but not in the,
uh, normal kind
of bullshit way.
Um, which, uh,
which I think is also
kind of what
the poems about,
cause, you know,
Nerudas love for her
doesnt come from,
like, uh... [sighs]
sunshine and roses
and clich stuff.
You know,
it comes from,
um, her... flaws
and her imperfections,
like, darker places.
[La] Hankard!
Uh,
comes from...
[boy] Come on,
you flirt!
...I guess who she has
the potential to be
and not just
who she is.
So, I dont know.
So, beautiful in
that kind of way,
you know.
Youre gonna
miss your bus again.
[singsongy]
I see you.
[rock song playing]
Whats he doing?
[song fades]
Um, you think I could
get another ride?
Sure.
Id take care of you
If youd ask me to
[car door closes]
Thanks for letting me
drive myself home again.
[Henry] Where do you go to?
Why do you go?
What are your colors?
What are your moods?
To see you, I turn.
To know you, I burn.
[brakes squeak outside]
[car door closes,
engine starts]
[sighs heavily]
[Cora speaking Spanish]
-Okay. Bye.
-[LA whispering]
Oh, my God,
it kills me
when she speaks Spanish.
Dont you want to say,
"Whats up?"
Why? So she can ghost me again?
I mean...
See you, guys.
Uh, see you.
Bye.
Uh-huh.
[Cora] Bye.
[sighs] Fuck.
Meh.
Meh.
Meh-meh.
[music playing faintly
over earbuds]
[sighs]
What was that little
"meh-meh" thing?
Uh... oh,
um... um...
[laughs]
I just-- we--
when were just,
um, I guess,
annoyed,
we just do that.
I dont know.
Mmm.
Um...
Uh, you think
youd give me
a ride today, maybe?
Hey, do you want
to come in and hang out
or something?
I cant today.
Okay.
Um...
Ill just see you
tomorrow then, so...
Okay.
Henry?
Hmm?
Meet me here
at 6:00.
Okay.
Yeah, I can meet--
Ill meet you there
at 6:00.
Yeah.
Bring a loaf
of bread.
[brakes squeak outside]
[vehicle door opens, closes]
[car door opens]
-[Henry]
What happened to your car?
-[Grace] Its back at my house.
Did you drive it
back and then
you walked here?
We dont need it.
-[insects trilling]
-[birds chirping]
[water dripping]
Come on.
[cane thumping steadily]
It was a cotton mill
in the 1800s,
and then...
they made plastic bottles
until it shut down
in 1989, I think.
[cane thumping steadily]
You have to be quiet.
-[Henry] Whoa.
-Shh.
Youll scare them away.
[whispers]
Come here.
[water sloshing]
[sighs]
[both chuckle]
[chuckles]
Have you ever
had a girlfriend?
[chuckles] Uh, no.
Uh, not really.
Why not?
Uh...
You ever had
a boyfriend?
[chuckles]
No.
So whats the deal?
I dont know.
[laughs]
Um...
Im not really good
at this stuff.
Well, I thought
you were a writer.
Uh... yeah,
I mean, exactly.
I could probably
go home right now
and write you something
about why Ive never
had a girlfriend,
like an essay
or whatever.
Oh, so you just
have to edit everything.
No,
its not editing.
Its just,
writing, I think,
sometimes helps me...
understand myself,
I guess, cause...
a lot of times,
I dont really know
how I feel about something
until I really sit down
and think about it.
But, I mean,
you havent
shared much either.
[sighs]
[cane thumps]
[water sloshes]
[sighs]
I did some of
my physical therapy
in a pool.
Nine months ago,
the car swerved
coming around a bend
and hit the rock barrier
and the car flipped.
Not that it really
even matters.
When I look at that,
it reminds me
that people are just
the ashes of dead stars.
Were just a collection
of atoms that...
come together
for a brief period
of time,
and then...
we fall apart.
When all of this
is over,
and were dispersed back
into nothingness...
we have
a clean slate.
Its like having
all of your sins
wiped away.
Sure you dont want
to write for the paper?
What sins do you need
wiped away?
[Grace]
I used to be a vandal.
[Henry]
You did this?
When I was 14.
What is that,
like, Latin?
Whats it mean?
[inhales deeply]
Im tired.
Im gonna... head home.
[sniffs]
Uh...
Do you want me to...
Can you find your way back?
Yeah. Uh...
But are you
all right?
Yeah, fine.
Uh, thanks
for hanging out.
Um...
Yeah, sure. Anytime.
[panting sharply]
["Heart Skipped a Beat"
by The xx playing]
[sighs]
[vase breaks]
Please dont say were done
When Im not finished
Cause I could give
So much more
Make you feel
Like never before
Welcome, they said
Welcome to the floor
Its been a while
And youve found...
Why are you
still up?
Um, just working
on this.
Is that the one
Mom and Dad got you
on your birthday?
Mm-hmm.
Dont-- hey.
Its still drying.
Touchy, touchy,
Henry.
Sometimes I still
Need you
Sometimes I still need you
Sometimes I still
Need you...
It is an odd hobby
for a 17-year-old boy.
Sometimes I still need you
Did you know that, uh,
heartbreak triggers
the same areas of the brain
as physical pain?
When I think
about him leaving me,
my brain sends
a distress signal
to my nervous system.
[sobs quietly]
And it elevates
my blood pressure
and my heart rate,
giving me chest pains.
[sobs]
Okay.
And I was struggling
To get in...
[sobs]
Its happening right now.
[sobs]
Do you want me
to go get Mom?
Oh, God, no,
please.
[sniffling] Jesus.
[groans]
[sobbing]
[students talking faintly,
voices echoing]
[teacher]
Henry.
Um...
Whats next?
Yeah.
Um, uh, okay.
Um, I was thinking
we all could
kind of just put out
a few ideas of themes
for the final issue.
No time
like the present.
How about a trippy
Alice in Wonderland
theme?
You know, like,
we all dropped acid
and went down
the rabbit hole.
Now, thats tight.
I could work
with that.
[exhales sharply]
Grace?
What?
[teacher]
Any ideas?
I dont know.
[teacher]
None?
Yeah, thats what
"I dont know" means.
Can I go to the bathroom?
I have to pee.
Of course.
[La]
Just ask her whats going on.
No,
I dont know.
I feel like
I dont know her
like that yet.
I dont know.
You should follow her.
What?
Yeah.
Dont you want to see
where she goes?
[chuckles] Oh.
What if shes hanging out
with her boyfriend?
[stifled laugh]
[laughs]
Oh, no.
Im not gonna
stalk her.
-[insects trilling]
-[birds chirping]
[quietly]
Maybe I was looking
for you.
Clearly, I wasnt
going to see you.
It just felt strange,
wanting to tell you...
[echoes, fades]
[footsteps through grass]
[typing]
-[phone clicks]
-[sighs]
[Henry] Would you be down
to talk over maybe
some theme ideas
or something?
Whatever you pick is fine.
Okay.
Should we just, like...
I just run my final
selections by you then, or--
I mean, it really
doesnt matter to me.
I just got
a new feature
in from Jade,
so I was just
gonna edit that.
[quietly]
Oh.
[birds chirping]
[phone chimes]
[sighs quietly]
[phone clicks]
Id like to match those,
but instead I will
match this.
Hey, Dad,
can I use the car?
Uh, sure, sure.
Where to?
Um... [laughs]
I dont know.
Nowhere, really.
So, where are you
going?
Its not
a cross-examination.
[laughs]
I mean, it feels
like that.
Well, youre asking us
to lend you our car,
and were asking
a simple question
in return.
Okay, um, Im just--
I dont know.
Im just gonna go to Muzs.
Now can I have the keys?
Youre not even using it.
Youre entitled
to your privacy.
If you dont want us
to know something,
say so.
But dont insult us
with a lie.
Its beneath you.
Just-- You can Uber.
What? I cant Uber.
I dont have
a credit card.
Well, then youre
gonna have to walk.
[sighing]
[lights buzzing]
[Grace panting sharply]
[grunts]
[panting]
[grunts]
[grunts]
Fuck! [shouts]
[sobbing quietly]
[panting]
[sobbing echoes]
[groaning]
[phone clicks]
[typing]
[typing]
[phone clicks]
[sighs]
[murmuring]
Hi.
Hey.
Whats up?
So,
I couldnt sleep
last night,
so I was searching
through Mrs. Kleins
syllabus,
and I noticed
a very interesting
trend.
Uh...
Look at them.
Okay.
[Henry]
Um, yeah.
Theyre, um,
all about young people?
[Grace]
And they all
involve suicide.
Romeo and Juliet
off themselves.
Werther
shoots himself.
Holden contemplates
suicide.
Conrad tries
to kill himself
by slashing his wrists.
This is what
you were up thinking
about last night?
Yeah.
Is that normal?
Oh, Jesus.
What?
Well, I...
[sighs]
You...
You, uh, like,
seemed down this week,
so thats a little
scary, I guess.
Okay.
How do I
explain this?
Um... okay.
Think about what it means
to be a teenager. Okay?
Your parents
pressure you to succeed.
Your friends
pressure you to do shit
you dont want to do.
Social media
pressures you
to hate your body.
Its hard, even if youre
a well-adjusted kid
from a good family.
Okay.
So, now imagine you cant be
with the person that you love,
like Romeo and Juliet
or Werther,
or you lose the person
that you love,
like Holden or Conrad.
Theres a reason why,
when every author,
from Shakespeare to Salinger,
writes about young people,
they cant avoid
the truth, that...
being young
is so painful,
its almost, like,
too much to feel.
Yeah, are you, like...
suicidal or...
No. God.
I mean...
Look, Im not gonna
kill myself.
But have I thought about
what it would be like
to just not be here anymore?
Yeah.
And I dont
say that casually,
but I do say it
because hiding that shit
and not saying it
makes it worse.
It should be talked about.
All of our shit
should be talked about.
Mmm.
The teenage years are...
limbo.
Youre somewhere between
being a kid and an adult,
and the world, uh,
tells you to be mature
and express yourself,
but the minute that you do,
it tells you to shut up.
The thing is,
adults are just scarred kids
who were lucky enough
to make it
out of limbo alive.
Which is why...
the theme of our last issue
should be "Teenage Limbo."
[quietly]
Yeah.
-[mouse clicking]
-[La] Henrys sister is studying
to become a neurosurgeon,
and she explained
that the teenage brain
goes through an upgrade
before it matures
to an adult brain.
So, the upgrade
is like an explosion
of connections and synapses
as we figure out
whats right.
[gasps]
Or wrong.
[sighs]
What we like,
what we dont like.
You know,
who we want to be.
-[mouse clicking]
-Each page of the issue
is the brain
refining itself,
figuring itself out,
until eventually
its out of limbo.
So dope.
[quietly]
Yeah.
Dope.
[claps]
All right.
Sweet.
Um... so I think
we could kind of just
start a--
kind of a discussion, like
what are we confused about,
what, uh,
maybe scares us.
Um, like,
are there things maybe
you keep inside
that youre afraid to...
Um...
Do you have
something?
Um...
Well, yeah,
I mean, I do,
but I was gonna...
I think
I was gonna write it,
uh, which...
Hmm.
[Henry smacks lips]
Um...
[chuckles]
Uh, when Mike Johnson
killed himself
a couple years ago,
um...
I realized that
I still had, um, this...
Hustler magazine
that he gave me
when we were, like, 13
that, uh, he stole from
his dads collection.
And, um...
[laughs]
I dont know.
I feel really stupid
admitting this,
but, um, kind of
freaked me out.
Like, I couldnt really
sleep at night
with this magazine
in my drawer.
Um, like it was just
kind of...
like,
haunted or something.
Um...
And basically, it just
was kind of too important
to throw away,
but it was also
too weird to keep,
so I went to the tree
by the art park,
one where he,
uh, hung himself,
and I, um,
just buried it there.
And, um...
Yeah. Um...
I dont know.
It was weird,
cause for the first time,
I was old enough
to understand
the gravity of death,
but I was also, um,
you know, young enough
that it all came down
to just a stupid,
like, porn magazine.
[sighs]
[Grace] Im proud of you
for sharing that.
It must have been
hard for you.
Thanks.
Hey, whyd you
give up writing?
Youve obviously
got a lot of ideas.
Somebody really important
to me... died.
And, um...
and I was asked
to write something,
to say something,
like a eulogy,
because everyone knew
that I was the writer,
and, you know,
told me how beautiful
my words were, but...
Nothing came.
I just couldnt
find the words.
[chuckles]
What?
Uh, oh, no,
its just funny.
Um, cause, you know,
I cant find the words
when I talk,
and you cant
find the words
when you write.
That just
made me laugh.
[laughs]
You know what I mean?
["Wheres My Love"
by SYML playing]
Cold bones
Yeah, thats my love...
[laughs] Thank you, anyways.
Yeah, yeah.
I feel like its...
[laughs] You dont
have to drink it.
Its not that I dont want it.
Yeah, sure...
Yeah.
Ooh, does she know
That we bleed the same...
[Henry] You want to see
a movie this weekend?
[Grace]
I dont think I can.
Ooh...
[Henry]
You got other plans?
[Grace] No, I just have
a ton of stuff to do.
[bird calling in distance]
[Henry]
So, you used to run track?
[Grace]
Yeah, I was a sprinter.
[Henry] Oh, what else did you do
in your previous life?
[Grace]
Oh, God. [sighs]
Lit magazine, yearbook staff,
student government...
[chuckles]
beer pong champion.
[Henry] Um, first football game
is Friday night,
if you want to go.
Not that I care,
but its fun.
We usually pregame,
and everyone goes.
[Grace]
That sounds fun, but I cant.
Another time though.
What would you say is the
dumbest thing youve ever done?
[Henry] Um, probably
when I put my finger
in an electric pencil sharpener
in first grade.
It didnt go, um, super well.
[Grace laughs] What did
you think was gonna happen?
[Henry] I guess I thought
it would trim my fingernail.
In the night
[laughs]
Ooh, does she know
That we bleed the same?
Ooh...
[Grace] I used to be good
at socializing.
I mean, I used to do it
all the time.
[Henry]
What changed?
[Grace] I guess
I stopped seeing the point.
Sometimes its just easier
to slip into your own dark abyss
and forget the world exists.
Did she run away...
[Henry] Yeah, I see her
in you sometimes,
like, these, um,
flashes of this girl
that you used to be.
Um, but was she an act
and youre more yourself now,
or is the Grace
that I know an act
until you feel comfortable
being yourself again?
[Grace]
I dont know. People change.
Theres no way youre
the same person you were
when you were 14.
[singers vocalizing]
[song fades]
Hey, um...
What?
All right, so Heslin is having
his annual Halloween party
tomorrow night.
And it doesnt
have to be a big thing.
Doesnt have to be
a date or whatever.
No, thats not why.
I think it could...
Thats not why.
...maybe be,
um, just fun.
Itd be good to--
good for you,
kind of get back
to doing old Grace
things. Um...
Oh, is the new Grace
not good enough
for you or...
No. No, no.
Thats not what I meant.
Um, no.
I think, um...
Hey, hey.
Lets go.
-Yeah?
-Yeah.
Your keys.
[keys clink]
Can I come in?
You dont have
to go somewhere?
No, Im not going
to where I go today,
so...
Okay, yeah.
No, totally.
Yeah?
Yeah, come in.
[chuckles]
Give me two.
[door opens]
Ill take three.
But you get three
first. Here.
Hey, guys.
Whats up?
Hey, Henry.
Hey.
[door closes]
Join us, bud.
Uh,
cant right now.
But this is Grace.
[all] Hi!
Oh.
Its Grace!
-Yeah.
-Yeah. You actually came in.
Weve only seen
your car up until now.
[chuckles]
Just gonna pick up
this stuff here.
[sighs heavily]
-[music begins loudly]
-[grunts]
[volume decreases]
["Die 4 You" by Perfume Genius
playing over speakers]
Oh, my love...
[Grace]
How did this break?
Oh, um...
I broke that,
actually.
Uh, its called
Kintsukuroi.
Its kind of this
old-school Japanese
art form
where you mend back
broken pottery
with seams of gold.
Oh, my love
Take your time
[sighs]
See it through
[sighs]
[song fades]
["Take Care" by Beach House
playing over speakers]
Id take care of you...
Wait, uh,
is this...
Oh, its the song
that you like to play
in your car.
Are you okay?
In a year or two...
Why are you--
why are you
playing this?
I mean, I dont know.
I like it. I...
Kind of reminds me
of us, I guess.
[stammers]
Hey. Hey.
Im sorry
I played that.
I didnt know.
I thought...
[stammers]
I dont know.
We listen to it
all the time
in the car together.
Okay, but its not
our song, okay?
Okay.
Its not for you
and me.
Okay.
Whos it for?
What is it?
[sniffles] Dom.
[sobbing]
He was my boyfriend.
He was driving the car,
and I fucked up my knee,
but he...
Oh. Im sorry.
I didnt...
[panting]
I understand if you dont
want to, like--
if you dont want to do
anything with me--
[sobbing]
Hey.
Can you let me
drive you home?
No, please.
Please stop,
Henry.
Why?
Because Im fucked up,
okay?
Come on. Whats wrong?
Can I drive you
home?
Yes. No. Please.
Please?
Come on. Why?
No.
Im messed up.
Its okay.
I dont care.
No, its not!
Its not when you realize
that Im not one of
your fucking vases, okay?
[electricity crackling,
whooshing]
[chattering, muted]
[Henry] You guys think
this needs to be here?
-[La] No.
-[Henry] Youre right.
I dont feel like
we needed it anyway.
It doesnt
make sense.
Seriously?
Hey, guys.
Are you going
to Heslins tonight?
Yeah.
Maybe.
We might
come through.
Cool.
Well, I hope you do.
Hmm.
What time is Elks
picking us up?
Um, I do not know.
Im not going, so...
No. No, no, no.
[chuckles]
No, were going.
A little beautiful creature,
who might be a part of
the fairy kingdom like myself,
just invited me
to her magical,
enchanted forest.
And Im gonna take
this opportunity
to fly.
Meh.
"Meh" yourself.
Dont dip out
cause of that chick.
What?
I need you there
for moral support.
No, its not cause of her.
Im not feeling well,
thats all.
Oh, my God.
Wow.
Elks has Kush.
[sighs]
What kind of Kush?
-[dance music playing loudly]
-[chattering]
Take it easy, bro.
Easy in, easy out.
Its a marathon,
not a sprint.
[coughs]
Yeah, I know.
[shudders]
Hey.
Whats up?
Shes already talking
to someone else.
Man, I knew I shouldnt have
gotten my hopes up.
Man, shes just playing me.
Go.
[shudders]
Go. Go.
I need to ease
into it, bro.
Why?
[girl, singsongy]
Henry Page.
I cannot.
I cant.
[chuckles]
Bye, Henry.
[girl] ...comes sprinting in,
his hands are over his face,
and he just pukes.
He just pukes
everywhere.
No one knew what to do.
It was between this
tiny little crevice
between the wall
and the fridge--
Im just gonna
get some water.
What?
Im just gonna
get some water.
Are you okay?
Yeah, Im good.
[dance music continues]
-[dance music playing]
-[chattering]
Got you this.
Thank you.
Yeah.
[chuckles softly]
What?
You look, um...
Thotty?
I was gonna say hot.
Well, its my costume
from last year.
Are you doing okay?
Yeah.
In this moment,
Im... Im okay.
I think youre
the most confusing
human being
Ive ever met.
[chuckles]
And I think
Im just the most
confused human being
youve ever met
and that confuses you.
[laughs]
Yeah, well...
Im, uh,
pretty trashed
right now,
so I guess Im even
more confused.
[chuckles]
[both chuckle]
["Piece Of Your Heart" by Meduza
playing over speakers]
Im turning you up to getting
Down, down, down...
Hey, Ive been
looking for you.
Oh, yeah?
Yeah.
Uh, so last year,
I, uh...
I get it.
It was weird.
We can just be friends.
Cool.
I hooked up
with a lot of girls
last summer.
[scoffs] Okay.
Yeah, uh, I was just
really confused after we...
you know.
I know.
I dont know.
I tried to, uh,
figure that out, I guess.
But...
I realized that
I didnt feel anything
for any of them.
I dont necessarily
know how to, um,
label myself, but...
I know what I feel
when youre in front of me.
Its like, uh,
we are--
or, uh, we be.
Then lets just be.
And if its physical
Keep it subliminal
Show me what you want
Show me a piece
Of your heart
A piece of your love
Im calling you up to getting
Down, down, down...
[song fades]
["Vulnerable" by Tinashe
playing over speakers]
These niggas aint nothing
On you, baby
You got it, got it
The way you run shit
And make it rain so well
My Birkin bag...
[laughs]
Oh, no.
I cant dance.
No.
Oh, yeah
These niggas aint
Bout it, bout it
These niggas aint nothing
On you, baby
You got it, got it
The way you run shit
And make it rain so well
My Birkin bag
My pinky ring
Coattail
Oh, yeah
Dont stop looking at me
-Dont stop looking at me
-No, no
Dont stop looking at me
-Dont stop looking at me
-Dont
Dont stop looking at me
-Dont stop looking at me
-Dont
Dont stop looking at me
-Dont stop looking at me
-Dont
Dont stop looking at me
Dont stop
Looking at me
Dont stop...
[panting]
Wait, wait.
Wait, wait, wait.
Hold on.
[sighs]
I hope you dont have
high expectations...
cause Im probably
pretty rusty.
Well, I hope you dont have
high expectations either,
cause Ive never
done this before.
Do you have a condom?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I should get it?
Get it.
Get it, okay.
[Henry grunts,
sighs]
Oh. Oh, God.
[laughs]
Let me do it.
Okay.
Im sorry. I laugh
when Im nervous.
Do you want me
to do it?
Yeah. Sure.
[grunts]
[sighs]
[both panting]
[both grunt]
[panting]
Henry, Henry,
Henry, Henry.
Yeah?
Dont try to be
good at it, okay?
Just be here with me.
[quietly]
Okay.
[light switch clicks]
[birds chirping]
[gasps]
[sobbing]
[birds chirping]
[line ringing]
-[Grace]
Leave your message.
-[beep]
Um, hey, Grace.
Um, just want to say hi,
and that, um...
you know, despite
my lack of experience,
um, hope that,
uh, last night
just kind of meant
a tiny fraction to you
as it meant to me.
And, yeah, um...
Then also, I promise
if we ever get the chance
to do it again, um--
[laughs] I mean,
cause not that--
Im not presumptuous enough
to think that we will,
but, like, if we do,
then, uh, you know,
I promise
that itll be better.
Uh, no,
that Ill be better.
[chuckles]
Um, cause, uh, you know,
um, practice does
make, uh, perfect.
So, uh, yeah.
Bye-bye.
[sighs] Oh, fuck,
that was dumb.
[crickets chirping]
[groaning]
[phone chimes]
[clicks]
[text message swooshes]
[typing]
[sighs]
["A Great Design" by Black
Marble playing over speakers]
What?
Surprise.
How did this happen?
It was just time.
Shit. All right.
Um, where are we going?
Youll see.
Monochrome
Its a Saturn world
Lying beneath the rings
And they tell me
We dont have a long time
Till our decline
All the grown men
Are set in their ways
Shining in the street
And they tell me
We dont have a long time
A great design
[song fades]
[ship horn blowing in distance]
[sighs]
We used to come here
all the time
before he died.
I loved this drive.
I want to be able
to love it again.
I needed you here.
I needed your support.
Hold this.
[Henry] Is this
from the factory?
What does it mean?
[Grace] "Save me,
and I will save you."
That was us.
I want to move on.
["We Stayed Up All Night"
by Tourist feat. Ardyn playing]
So lets pretend
That we have no weight...
Im telling you,
Sharma...
[laughs]
...dropped his glasses
right into the toilet.
He nearly flushed
them down there.
[laughter]
But he fished them out,
cause he got
the same glasses on.
Were young, have time...
No, I sw--
I...
Can I join you guys?
Out we run
Okay.
Okay, got it?
Yeah, that was
very helpful.
Okay, good.
Thank you.
Youre welcome.
[Sharma]
Hey, with all the news
thats fit to print,
your first issue!
Congratulations!
[cheering]
Well...
Hmm. Yeah.
I wont give it up tonight
I wont give it up
Tonight
I wont give it up tonight
I wont give it up
Tonight
[song fades]
[birds chirping]
Stay here.
Whose car is that?
Stay here, Henry.
[Grace]
Arent you supposed
to remember that?
[woman] No, I dont
remember that!
[Grace]
I dont want--
No, no. Go! Go!
[woman sobs]
[tires screeching]
[door opens]
Hey.
That your mom?
No.
Yeah.
It doesnt... matter.
You all right?
Im fine.
Can we go?
[brakes squeak]
[both sigh]
So do you live
with your dad?
[sighs]
[chuckles]
I mean,
I just feel like
I dont know anything
about your family.
Well, yeah.
Well, okay,
you know enough.
Something obviously
just happened,
so I dont know how
Im supposed to help you--
You dont.
You dont help me.
I didnt ask for your help,
so stop trying to help me.
Stop trying to fix me,
all right?
[Sharma]
Oh, look at this.
Its a lollygagging
convention in here.
Lets go, people.
We have three more
issues to plan.
Id love to see
a little focus, please.
Henry, wheres
your partner in crime?
I dont know.
She sick?
I dont know.
Todays the anniversary
of her accident.
Oh, dear. I, um...
I didnt know that.
Yeah. East River
had a candlelight vigil
for her boyfriend.
[line ringing]
-[chattering]
-[line continues ringing]
Does she drive?
Does she have her license?
Should we be...
[continues indistinctly]
Youre probably
right about that.
-[Grace] Leave your message.
-[beep]
I would think so.
Would you?
Yeah.
[sighs]
I dont know.
Muck around.
Muck around
a little more.
Muck.
What? Stop it.
No. Ow.
Stop.
Muck around.
Hankard. Hankard.
Yo, where you going?
[panting]
[thunder rumbling]
[door opens]
Henry?
That you?
Yeah.
Come on in.
[thunder rumbling]
I must have fallen asleep
in front of the tube.
Im Martin, by the way.
[sportscast playing on TV]
Oh.
This is my wife Sarah.
Hi.
[Henry] Hello.
[groans, coughs]
Grace has talked
a lot about you.
Says youve been
a good friend.
Yeah, I just wanted
to make sure
that she was okay,
cause I didnt
talk to her today.
Um, and, you know,
given what day it is,
I... I, uh...
Well, she should be home
pretty soon.
You can wait upstairs
if you want.
Um, well, thank you.
It was good meeting
you guys.
[Martin] Yeah.
Nice meeting you, Henry.
Yeah.
[Grace]
So now you know.
Do you live here?
[sniffles] Yeah.
I moved in a month
before the accident
to get away from my mom.
She was drinking a lot,
and she was in really
bad shape.
But youre still here.
Where else was
I supposed to go,
my moms boyfriends couch?
[sniffles]
[sighs]
You went back for that?
[sniffles]
[panting]
Do you even
wash his clothes?
Cause you wear
his clothes, right?
Im doing the best
that I can.
Youre doing the best
you can, but youre living
in his fucking room?
We grew up together.
He was...
he was my family.
[stammers]
Im not asking you
to let him go.
Im giving you
all that I can.
And this... confusion
and this craziness
is what that looks like.
And you cant handle it,
but I never expected you to.
What else could I
possibly give you?
What else can you give me?
Are you fucking...
Oh, this is crazy.
This is crazy.
Just stop.
No, you stop!
Stop leading me on!
I just--
I didnt start dating you
out of nowhere or something.
I told you
to leave me alone.
Yeah, but then
you told me not to.
Well, because I dont know.
Because I dont know.
I know.
I dont know.
Im confused, Henry.
I dont know.
I know!
Ive known since, like,
the very beginning
that I love you.
I cant pretend
to be better because
thats what you want.
You said you wanted
to get better.
I do.
Im not ready yet.
Im not--
I do, but Im not
ready yet.
Well, I...
I dont care.
All right?
Yes, you do.
I...
No, I dont.
I dont care.
Seriously, I want you
exactly the way you are.
But you just got to
let me in and talk to me.
I love you.
-[thunder rumbling]
-[rain continues]
Why do you kiss me
like that?
Like what?
Like youre in love
with me.
Its the only way
I know how.
[crickets chirping]
-[door opens, slams]
-[TV playing quietly]
[mother] Plates for you
in the oven, toots.
-[father] Henry?
-What?
Whats wrong?
[sighs] Nothing.
Whats wrong?
Nothing.
Come here.
Come on.
We just want to know
whats going on.
Is it Grace?
Its just regular shit
that regular people
go through
that you are not
gonna understand.
Oh, come on.
Were not
regular people?
No. No. Are you
fucking kidding me?
Your relationships
been perfect
since you were my age.
I got this.
No, no, no,
no, no.
We should go.
Mom.
Hes right.
You dont understand.
I got it.
Did you guys break up?
Yeah.
I mean, I dont
even know if we were
actually together.
Maybe its just
a bump in the road.
No, she doesnt want me.
What happened?
[sniffles]
Shes in love
with someone else.
Oh, shit.
[quietly]
Okay.
[sighs]
You want the good news
or the bad news?
Neither.
Well, the bad news is
its gonna hurt.
Your brain has gotten
used to a steady stream
of dopamine
and oxytocin.
Here we go again.
Yeah, I know.
Im sorry,
but thats what causes
all those blissed-out
feelings of love.
And now its replaced
with stress hormones.
Theyre gonna make you
feel like garbage.
Headaches, tight muscles,
tight chest.
Your bodys craving
those feel-good chemicals.
Its basically withdrawal.
Oh, awesome.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yesterday was the first day
I didnt think about him.
And tomorrow
Im going on my first date.
Henry.
Hmm?
Love--
its a chemical reaction
that comes and goes.
Heres the good news:
so is heartbreak.
Your brain adjusts.
Your body chemistry
changes back to normal.
Its all
a waste of time.
[quietly]
Oh, no.
Hey.
Would you take it
all back if you could?
You cant.
Shes a part of you now.
[crickets chirping]
[lighter clicks]
[night birds chirping]
[both]
Are you trying to...
Are you gonna copy me
this whole time? Okay.
[Cora] No, but I actually have
a real question. Wait.
You cant do that.
Whats over there?
[chuckles] I did it.
[laughs] I did it.
[La] Where you going?
Um...
I dont know.
Just dont want
to watch this.
Wow.
You just cant be happy
for anybody else.
Boo.
Dont even--
dont do that.
[laughs]
Dont do that.
[phone chimes]
[phone clicks]
Whoa.
-[man] Watch it!
-[horn honks]
Oh!
[girl]
Whoa, did you see that?
[water dripping]
[Grace sobbing]
Grace?
[panting]
Are you okay?
I need to--
-I need to tell you.
-What? What do you need?
I need to tell you.
-What?
-I need to say it, Dom.
I need to say it, Dom.
[sobbing]
Okay, say it.
It should have been me.
It should have been me.
[sobbing]
It should have been me.
No. No.
It should have been me.
Yes, you fucking
asshole!
It was my fault!
No, it wasnt,
Grace.
Yes, it was.
-No, it wasnt.
-You told me to stop
teasing you.
You told me.
[sobbing] You told me,
and I didnt listen.
I didnt listen.
Its okay.
I just wanted
to make you laugh.
-Its okay. Its okay.
-But you told me to stop.
Oh, Im sorry.
Its all right.
Im sorry. Im sorry!
Its okay.
Its okay.
[sobbing]
Its okay.
[sobbing continues]
[panting]
[sobs]
[sniffles]
I felt him swerve.
And I knew, in that
fraction of a second,
that we were gonna crash.
And my last thought
before it happened was,
"Shit."
The last thought
I was about to have
in my entire life was, "Shit."
I didnt think about Dom.
I didnt even think
about him.
[sobs]
Does that make me
a bad person, Henry?
No.
[sobs]
Makes you a person.
I wonder what he was
thinking about.
I wonder what
his last thought was.
He was thinking
about you, Grace.
Guarantee it.
[sniffles]
[water continues dripping]
[cane thumping]
[sniffles]
[sniffles]
I was gonna marry him
in that dress.
[electricity crackling,
whooshing]
[gearshift clicks]
[engine idling]
No, you keep it.
Its cold out.
[students chattering]
[Sharma]
Quick announcement,
everyone.
If I might have
everyones attention
for a moment, please.
-[chattering stops]
-Thank you.
So, I wanted to let you know
that Grace Town has decided
to take some time
off from school
to deal with
some personal issues.
And, um, when she returns,
shed prefer to focus
on her studies
rather than
the newspaper.
Im sure well all
miss her very much,
but, uh,
it does sound like
this is the best decision
for her at this time.
I know this news
might come
as a disappointment,
but I want you to know
that I have
the utmost faith
in this group of people
[echoing, fading]
to produce three stellar issues.
[birds chirping]
-[electricity crackling]
-[Henry] When youre a teenager,
the chemicals in your brain
drive you to make decisions
that rip you away from
the safety of your childhood
and drag you into
the wilderness of adulthood.
A friend once told me
that adults are just
scarred kids
who were lucky enough
to make it out of
teenage limbo alive.
I urge you to go outside
and look at the world
through that prism.
Look at your parents,
your older siblings.
Look at strangers
you pass on the street.
Look at them and imagine that,
at one point in their lives,
they too walked these halls.
They too felt
the unbearable loneliness,
the absolute
unbearable powerlessness
and darkness of being young.
Number two!
[students cheering]
This is three.
[students cheering]
[Henry] We tend to think
of scars as ugly or imperfect...
as things
we want to hide or forget.
But they never go away.
-[typing]
-As I write this,
my last editorial...
[reading]
I finally understand
that scars are not reminders
of whats been broken,
but rather
of whats been created.
[school bell ringing]
[chattering]
Hey.
Hey.
[quietly]
Lets...
Congratulations.
Yeah, you too.
Thank you.
Yeah.
Where are you
off to next year?
Im gonna go
to Bennington.
Its a school
in Vermont.
Its good for writing.
Nice.
What are you doing?
Uh, Im taking
a year off.
Just continuing
therapy.
Oh.
Yeah, I was never gonna
be ready until I was...
ready, you know?
Of course you know.
Yeah.
I have to go find
my words again.
Yeah.
You will.
I just want to say...
you are an extraordinary
collection of atoms,
Henry Page.
[breathes deeply]
[sighs]
["Take Care"
by Beach House playing]
[laughter]
Hey, is that
Hankard?
Hankard!
Hankard!
Lets go.
Um, I think
Im gonna walk.
Gonna walk?
Hey, whoa.
Im gonna walk too.
Feel this burning
Love of mine
Its no good
Unless its real...
Its a long walk.
Want some company?
Yeah, I do.
Wild-eyed turning
Till were running from it
Id take care of you
If youd ask me to
In a year or two
Oh-oh-oh
You say swimming in the lake
Well come across a snake
It is real
And then its fake
Feel its heartbeat
Feel what you heat
Far so fast
It feels too late
Id take care of you
If youd ask me to
In a year or two
Oh-oh-oh
Ill take care of you
Take care of you
Thats true
Ill take care of you
Take care of you
Thats true
Ill take care of you
Take care of you
Thats true
Ill take care of you
Take care of you
Thats true
Ill take care of you
Take care of you
Thats true
Ill take care of you
Take care of you
Thats true
Ill take care of you
Take care of you
Thats true
Ill take care of you
Take care of you
Thats true
Ill take care of you
Take care of you
Thats true
Ill take care of you
Take care of you
Thats true
Ill take care of you
Take care of you
Thats true
[song fades]