Christmas Ransom (2022) Movie Script
1
Alright, sit down, shut up.
Are you ready? Good.
'Cause I'm about to tell you
a story.
It's a modern-day
Christmas epic,
a tale of saviours and scrooges,
family and friends,
heroes and villains
and of Harrington & Sons,
the greatest toy store
in the whole wide world.
It was a race
to grow up...
Or at least
the greater metropolitan region.
Harrington & Sons was
a magical wonderland,
a toy store that kids
never wanted to leave.
And I wanted to be
just like you
Wanted to be taller too...
This was a toy store
that was chockablock full
of the best toys ever.
It had steam trains, puppy dogs
and the famous
Harringtons ball pit.
Everything was special,
even that weird
toy soldier thing.
I just know you're close
I just know...
This fine establishment
was owned by a man named
Clarence Harrington,
a real-life Santa Claus.
Clarence was beloved by
every kid who knew him
and people came
from far and wide to meet him
and share in
his Christmas spirit.
He was a good bloke.
Hi, Mr Harrington.
He was the father
of Derrick and Terri,
who both loved the store
with all their hearts.
Derrick wanted to grow up
just like his dad
and run the toy shop
exactly the way he did
and, of course, keep up
their Christmas tradition
of sending letters to Santa
in the pouch of
their giant kangaroo.
Open the door
and you walk back home...
Sadly, all this joy
was not to last,
for time has a funny way
of changing things.
But this story actually starts
with a much older Derrick
and Gladys, the best
security guard in the universe.
Careful. She's about to pop.
Gladys, what are you doing here?
I sent you home an hour ago.
Clearly I'm still needed.
Hold this.
I got it.
Greg-Nog?
Another gift from Greg.
By far, the worst.
Hoo.
You still haven't told him?
Told him what, Derrick?
As my employer,
the status of my love-life is
actually none of your business.
- And what about as a friend?
- Mm, would we say we're friends?
How many letters for Santa
have you got?
- Jeez, that's bleak.
- Yeah.
Well, why write to Santa
when you can text him?
Well, with less ballast, maybe
this'll take off this year.
Yeah.
Are you OK?
Yeah. Yeah, of course.
I know Christmas by yourself
can be tough,
especially when
you've done it so many times.
How about I let you win
at giant Jenga?
- Go home, Gladys.
- Alright.
Just let me do
one more sweep of the floor.
Now.
And for Pete's sake,
talk to him!
- Mm.
- You forgot your Greg-Nog.
Keep it.
- Merry Christmas, Gladys.
- Merry Christmas, Derrick.
And with
true love and brotherhood
Each other now embrace...
Good evening,
Christmas shoppers.
Just a reminder Harrington &
Sons is closing in 10 minutes,
so feel free to queue up
at the registers now
and beat the Christmas rush.
Comfort and joy
Oh, tidings
of comfort and joy...
Cute!
Can we keep him, Mum? Please?
He's not that expensive.
Oh, I'm sorry, sweetie. Maybe
find something a little smaller.
You know, this one
was just telling me
how much he wanted a good home.
Do you promise to walk him
every day?
I promise!
Then he's all yours.
- Thank you so much.
- Oh, it's nothing.
And, look,
you can't break up the litter.
How about your take
his little sister too, hey?
Are you sure?
Yeah, it's my pleasure.
Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas.
Where are your video games?
Oh, sorry, mate.
We don't actually stock
those here, but...
have you seen this?
Of course I have.
Well, just wait for it.
Wait for it.
Yeah, look, I just came here
for video games.
Wait for it. Wait for it.
Holy dooley!
This place sucks, by the way.
Holy dooley.
- Pete!
- Hi.
- Is everything OK?
- Uh, yeah.
- Well, no.
- Ooh!
Someone graffitied all
the Magna Sketches again.
- Yeah, that is very lifelike.
- I know.
I reckon that's us done
for the day, mate.
- I'll close up.
- No, I'll do it.
- I always do it.
- Nah, don't be silly.
- It's Christmas Eve.
- I do still need to find Jesus.
As in 'baby', for the nativity.
At least a substitution.
I could probably...
Ooh!
Good grief. Sorry!
Playlist mix-up.
- Go home to your family, Pete.
- Yeah,
- OK. On.
- I really don't think that's...
Attention, valued customers.
This is Pete
from the front desk.
Harrington & Sons is now closed.
Thank you very much.
There we go. Just in case.
Alright.
Well, merry Christmas,
Mr Harrington.
I'll see you Boxing Day.
Merry Christmas, Pete.
"Thanks, Gregory.
"Also, LOL,
"I forgot to say
I'm... pregnant."
Don't be stupid.
Wombat, confirm
you have eyes on the target.
OK, but I think
we should just wait
until they turn the lights
back on.
Oh, my gosh...
Oh, bingo!
Commence
Operation Christmas Star.
Left. Left.
No, your left!
We have the same left.
Oh, right.
Right.
Little more.
A little more.
What have we got here?
Merry Christmas, Gladys.
Yes!
Wombat, look!
I know! It's beautiful!
No. Behind you.
Waah!
Well, well, well,
if it isn't Barbie
and Ken.
- Don't call me Ken!
- I didn't.
Run!
- Brady, save yourself!
- Never leave a man behind.
Attack.
Hey! Urgh!
Get back here,
you little skid marks!
Think quick!
She's like
a pregnant Terminator!
Get back here!
She's unstoppable!
She has the power of two humans!
Run!
- Uh-oh!
- Don't you dare!
I'm sorry.
This is it. This is the end.
Next station, my office.
What did you eat?!
Don't forget, Wombat,
we're pleading the Fifth.
Right.
The fifth what?
Don't say a word.
So, you thought you could fool
old Gladys, huh?
I expected more from you.
Maybe not from you.
Please, drink.
You must be thirsty.
You sure, mate?
Could be a long night.
Have it your way, then.
Ahhh!
Tell me your names now!
- Wombat!
- No. Wombat!
- Sorry, Brady!
- Stop!
I've been after you two
for a very long time,
Wombat and Brady.
No-one steals from Mr Harrington
on my watch.
December 1,
you started off small,
the Good Night Night Light.
December 2,
Outback Olive Sleeping Bag.
Very cosy.
Then, December 15,
for some inexplicable reason,
you steal my lunch
from the office microwave.
- That wasn't us.
- We don't even like risotto.
Who said anything about risotto?
These were all taken
inside the store.
It's not stealing
if it doesn't leave the store.
Enough with the whistling, Shez.
Oh, sorry, ma'am.
We're actually closed
for the evening.
But we're open again Boxing Day.
All Christmas trees 50% off.
Hello, Derrick.
I'm sorry.
Do we know each other?
Hey, Mr Harrington,
I didn't find baby Jesus,
but I did find
a little poopy baby doll.
Pete, get out of here.
Where do you think you're going?
- Where's your mum?
- Dunno.
- Alright. Your dad?
- Dunno.
Do you think
I was born yesterday?
No, but it looks like your baby
should have been.
What baby?
I know kids like you.
I've known them all my life.
Selfish, mean,
sticky little bullies
who get away with everything.
Well, not today.
Who are they?
What time is it?
- 7:00.
- Give me that!
What haven't you stolen?!
Alright, you two stay here and
think about what you've done.
Oh, we will.
Hey!
Aw!
Hey, you know... you know,
you know, whatever it is...
Whatever it is, you know,
crime is not the answer.
Is it money? If it's money,
then we are hiring.
We're clear.
What are you looking at?
What are you looking at?
An angel.
What are you lookin' at?
Sorry. So...
You got a bloody lift here
or what?
- No.
- Should be criminal.
- Let him go.
- It's too late for that.
He's just a kid. Please.
We let him go, first thing
he's gonna do is call the cops.
No, he won't. Will you, Pete?
No?
Real believable.
Nothing to be scared of
as long as you do what we say.
Now sit down.
- Hey...
- I said sit down!
Just do what they say, Pete.
Look, look, I know...
I know the holidays are hard.
You'll be hard
if you don't sit down.
What?
You know what I mean!
What?
Don't. No, don't... Ooh!
Oh! Hey!
You got a problem, Harrington?
No.
No problem.
Get up.
They're gonna throw us
in the slammer, Brady!
That's the least of our worries
if we don't get out of here.
Get rid of the photos.
That is so smart!
Way cooler than using
the spare key.
- What?
- The one hanging on the wall.
Oh, my...
Just a double knot?
We're not
tying shoelaces, Sherrin!
What kind of knot is that?
Whoa!
Alright, alright,
keep your knickers on.
My knickers are in a knot.
Oh.
- You OK, Pete?
- Yep.
Alright, fine. What do you want?
300,000 in cash.
I'm sorry.
We don't have that much.
Oh, I'm sure Mr Harrington
will think of something.
"All Hail the Gaming Queen"?
I'm sorry, who is...
Who is... Who is that?
- That's my sister.
- It's your sister?
Your sister owns
Territron Games?
Oh, my God, Mr Harrington!
I own literally every single one
of her video games.
- Shut it!
- Wh...
Where's your phone?
Hurry up, dimples! You
waste our time, I waste you!
Crap!
Where's my phone?!
Crap!
Crap.
- Oh!
- Head to the roof!
Oi!
- Mama! I need a new nappy!
- Shh, shh, shh, shh!
- Stop it! Stop it.
- Mama! I need a new nappy!
Hey! Get back here!
Wait.
Where did they go?
Did you check upstairs?
You gotta be kidding me.
Of course I checked upstairs.
- Well, what's with the noises?
- Stop nagging.
I know what I'm doing.
Nan, oh, my God,
can you just shut it
for once in your life?
Mama!
There was tomato in that.
Now my lips are tingly.
What is that?
Don't forget,
I'm gluten-intolerant,
peanut-intolerant,
lactose-intolerant!
They used to
just shit themselves.
I need to poop again.
- Is everything OK?
- It's fine.
Let's make the call.
She'll never fit in here.
Who are you guys talking about?
The fat security go...
We don't want him to faint.
I said we need them
for this job.
Alright!
I'm not trying to bust ya,
but we are in serious danger,
Look.
Stop it!
You don't need to talk to him!
- He's scared.
- He's fine!
It's ringing.
She's, um, not answering.
Well, why isn't she answering?
I don't know, OK?
- That's ridiculous!
- It's been a while.
What do we do?
Keep your grubby mouth shut
and follow me.
Where do we go?
It's Christmas Eve.
She's probably...
Hello. Terri speaking.
Terri!
- Goodnight. Merry Christmas.
- See you. Merry Christmas.
Hi. Sorry. Who is this?
It's Derrick.
Derrick...?
Y-your brother.
Oh! Right.
Um, sorry. New phone.
Well, thanks for answering,
I... I guess.
Yeah, it's a Christmas miracle.
OK, well, great chat.
Give me that!
Teresa Harrington,
we have your brother hostage.
And you've got one hour
to give us $300,000 or else.
I don't know what you're trying
to pull, Derrick,
but this isn't funny.
No, they're serious, Terri.
They came into our
store. They've got us here.
They... they came in with guns.
Oh, my God, OK.
Well, I'll call the police.
You call the cops and you'll
never see your brother again.
They want money.
I need your help, Terri.
- Did you hear what I said?
- Yeah, yeah, I did.
Listen up, C-E-ho,
we want 300K in one hour
or we start playing hangman.
I already said that.
It's not what you say, Shez,
it's how you say it.
You gotta scare 'em and hang up.
Then they call back
all crying and blubbering
and begging to do
whatever it is you want.
Uh-oh.
What? What's the matter?
Oh, no! Wombat, don't you dare!
- I can't help it!
- Can't help what?
- Hold it in!
- It's coming!
What's the matter?
When Wombat gets nervous, he...
What the hell was that?
It wasn't that bad.
Christ, that's rank!
Oh, oh, it's the mice.
We have big mice in our store.
We don't have mice.
Yes, we do. We do.
Remember I left
the invoice on your desk
for the mouse traps?
Wasn't that for the board game?
No.
Jesus, Pete, you bought
200 actual mouse traps?
Doesn't smell like mice.
Smells like rats.
- She's coming in!
- Where do we go?
Bloody big rats.
Wait, wait,
wait, wait. Uh...
- What do we do?!
- Be quiet!
Shh, shh! Just follow me.
Silent night
Holy night...
Pete, what are you doing?
Oh, come on! Having a bit
of fun. You know the words.
All is calm
All is bright...
I think they've broken him.
- No, they haven't.
- All...
It's a diversion. Let's go!
Bright
Round yon virgin
Virgin
Holy infant
So tender and mild
Immaculate conception...
Uh...
You try that again,
I'll cut your jingle balls off.
At least he'd hit
the high notes.
Right,
Tweedledee and Tweedlebum,
it's time to get you
out of here.
- What? No way!
- Yes way!
It's too dangerous and you two
are gonna cause trouble.
What about Pete?
Pete? Why do you care about him?
He...
seems to be a nice guy.
Well, I guess nice guys
do finish last. Let's go!
- Pete's our brother!
- Wombat, stop!
Employee-of-the-month Pete?
He's your brother?!
And you never leave
a man behind.
Well, we can't stay here.
Come on.
- Snitch!
- What? You don't!
You don't feed them
to the sharks either.
Shut up! Let's go!
Mr Harrington
doesn't have any sharks.
Shh!
- Mr Harrington...
- Hmm?
There is something
that I need to tell you.
- Hmm?
- The... My...
So, why hasn't your sister
rung back?
It's been 10 minutes, yeah?
Just give her time.
She was probably just in shock.
I'm no therapist,
but in a ransom,
family members
generally tend to -
I don't know -
care?
I'm telling you it was shock.
Thought you said
this was a done deal, Shez.
I've got this. Trust me.
- Done that once before.
- Nan!
Or have you forgotten
Smith Street?
- I said I've got this!
- Yeah?
'Cause it's looking
a bit like a shitshow, Shez.
Maybe you need to call
for some backup.
We just don't talk much, yeah,
since our dad died.
It's just a little rough patch
we're going through.
Your dad died 10 years ago.
You haven't spoken to her
in 10 years?!
She will call back, OK?
You'll get your money.
Can we all just calm down?
Oh, we're all calm here,
Derrick.
For now.
Hey, Mr Harrington,
what if your...
What if you sister
doesn't help us?
She will.
- She will.
- OK, she will.
Then why hasn't she called back?
Pete, drop it.
I'm sorry.
You know, I know how hard
it can be to lose family.
Yeah, it is.
Mr Harrington, there's something
that I'm gonna tell you
about the mice in the tunnel.
Got about 50 more of them
over there
if you don't shut up.
What are you doing?
Calling the cops,
but it's not going through.
No cops! They'll kill Pete!
OK, traps shut. I think
they've cut off the phone lines.
Where's my phone?!
- It's low.
- Thanks for that, Einstein.
I got that.
Is it happening?
Or Braxton Hicks?
Nothing's happening! Get off!
Damn it, damn it, damn it!
What?
I know who to call.
Oh! Oh, wait.
Who is it? Gladys?
Mate!
You can't let her
do this to you.
Gotta use this
if you wanna protect this.
No, no, she's just calling to
say thank you for the Greg-Nog.
- Gregory, you didn't.
- I did.
It was small and it's for
the 12 days of Christmas.
Oh! Mate!
- No, no, no, no!
- I'm putting my foot down.
- Hey!
- You guys dated for how long?
OK, it was about a year.
- And she broke up with you when?
- Nine months ago.
And when you asked her why,
she...
She vomited on the pavement,
ran away
and then ghosted me ever since.
Exactly.
Nine months. Vomiting.
Uncharacteristic mood swings.
It's not gonna take a genius
to figure out what's
going on here, Greg.
She's a player.
And if you pick up this phone,
you're gonna get played.
But I thought she was the one.
Greg, you're one of the best
blokes that I know,
and one day, you're gonna
make someone very happy.
But until then,
we've got lives to save.
Yeah, you're right. Thanks, Sam.
You're right. Thanks, man.
Alright, firies, we ready?
We good? Let's bring it in.
Yeah, nice. Less shirts,
more skin.
You lot are gonna make
the front cover
of the Christmas calendar.
Mwah!
You put the 'fire' in 'fireman'.
Good. Great, yep.
Oh, that's hot.
This is so hot
I'm gonna have to put you out.
OK, great. That's great.
That's... Something's missing.
- Puppies are ready.
- Oh, yeah. Get 'em in there.
He's rejected me!
Try again!
He's never rejected me before.
Maybe he's busy saving lives.
The puppies are babies.
You've saved them.
You're handing them
back to their mother.
This is September, you know?
Yeah, nice.
- Crap, it died!
- What do we do now?
We could...
fly a drone outside
with a message?
Guys...
The doors are locked.
Maybe we should reconnect
the phone lines.
They're on the roof!
Guys, I think I've found
something.
- How do you know that?
- Research.
Brady! Gladys!
Will this work?
What are we gonna do,
barbecue our way outta this?
Ah!
Hey, you know I'm, uh...
pretty handy with a yo-yo.
What?
You know, loop the loop.
Walk the dog, rock the cradle.
You know, the key is
you gotta be...
Ohh!
Gentle.
- You gotta use your wrist.
- I'll break your wrists.
OK.
Hey, Shez, could I have
a glass of water?
- No!
- Please?
It's the middle of summer.
I'm so dry.
What are you doing?
I'm trying to spit.
You're a really weird guy,
you know that?
Thank you.
Not a compliment.
Well, please. Please, Shez.
There's some water behind the
counter. I won't move a muscle.
I swear, I'm not gonna m...
Pete, what are you doing?!
It's a classic
distraction tactic.
OK, two things.
First, Wombat and Brady are
the mice in the play tunnel.
- Don't know where they've gone.
- What?!
Second, and possibly worse,
I'm in love with Shez.
My God, I'm sweating like
a banana in the sun
and my heart feels like
it's exploding.
Why didn't you tell me sooner?
Because what's a girl like her
gonna want with a guy like me?
No, not that. Why are Wombat
and Brady in the store?
Oh, um, look, they were gonna
meet me after work.
I tried to tell you,
but then Nan came in
and started asking about
your sister and the money.
It's OK. It's OK.
It's all gonna be fine.
I thought maybe
they could help us.
No. I mean, they can't.
They have to stay hidden.
It's safer that way.
Look, if these two get their
money, nobody's gonna get hurt.
OK. Are you sure they're
gonna get their money?
Yes.
Terri might just need
a bit of a push.
Hey!
- Hey...
- Shez, what are you doing?
Hostages don't get water.
- They get hostaged!
- Listen.
Let me call Terri again.
To speed things up.
You let me talk to Terri and I
can get the money here faster.
Do it.
Uh, you said I had an hour.
Terri, it's me, Derrick.
Just checking in about
the money. Are you...
Working on it.
Cool, cool. You might need
to speed things up a bit.
It's just getting a little bit
tense around here.
Yeah, I'm doing my best.
It's a pretty crappy situation
you've thrown at me, you know?
I'm the one being held ransom,
so it's a bit more crappy
for me, yeah?
You obviously have no idea
how hard it is
to withdraw 300K in cash
on Christmas Eve.
Oh, well, sorry we're not
all swimming in millions.
You're the one who got
a business handed to him.
H-handed? Handed?!
Do you know how hard
I've worked?
And by the way, you can't swim
in millions.
I mean, you could probably run a
small bath in millions at best.
The fact that you even know that
says so much.
Oh, my God, you are
so self-righteous.
Well, that's better than
being selfish!
How am I selfish?
You couldn't even make it
to his funeral!
Since you've got it all
figured out, then...
Damn it!
What the bloody hell was that?
Well, I once listened to a
podcast about sibling rivalry...
- Not now, Pete.
- Can it, Pete.
Shut your damn yammer hole,
Pete.
Get her back on the phone, now.
Yes! Yes!
We did it!
I thought you said
this place was clear!
It is! It... was.
Jesus Christ, it's Smith Street
all over again.
It's nothing like
robbing a servo.
Something must have
set off the alarm.
No, not someTHING, Derrick.
Someone.
- Where's the panel?
- We'll never tell.
Don't! It's behind the counter.
It's behind... It's over there.
It's coming from
the security office.
Oh, no!
If this goes bad,
I'm taking you down with us.
You know that, right?
Guard Pimples and Dimples.
This is my job. I'll go.
That'll take all night!
No, no. No, no, no.
Wait, wait, wait!
Pete!
- Oh, help me!
- Pete!
Pete!
Good job, Wombat.
Guess I'm not as smart as
I look.
Um, Gladys...
If she gets this room,
she'll have all the cameras.
There'll be nowhere left
to hide.
She's old! I can take her.
You can take her.
Brady, we have to go
off the grid.
No way! If we show Gladys,
that's it for us.
We haven't got a choice.
Off the grid?
There's one place where
your cameras can't see.
Kid, I've got this place locked
down tighter than a cat's bum.
That's what you think.
And also, gross.
Are we gonna die here,
Mr Harrington?
No.
Just do what they say and we'll
get through this together.
What if she finds
Wombat and Brady?
What if she hurts them?
I'll keep a lookout
for the firetruck.
What is this place?
Wouldn't know.
- Just found it like this.
- Brady!
If we tell her,
she'll kick us out.
- You live here?
- It's just temporary.
Until Pete finds us a new place.
But... where are your parents?
Mum's in heaven.
Oh.
And what about your dad?
- We don't know.
- But he's coming back.
Pete said.
He left his favourite cap.
He always takes it with him
when he's leaving
for a long time.
So he'll definitely be back.
You can't live here.
It's not safe.
Please don't tell anyone.
They'll split us up.
- No, no.
- They've done it before.
But Pete's 18
in two weeks and three days.
And then we can have a place.
And Dad will come home
and it'll all go back to normal.
Hey.
If I've been...
you know...
I didn't mean to be.
Apology accepted.
It's just... kids...
aren't really my thing.
Oh, we know.
We see you some nights,
staying up late,
staring at the baby dolls.
I don't... I don't do that.
I don't know what
you're talking about.
Cup of tea?
Nuh. Nah. I'm right.
- Please?
- We shared our secret.
- Is that lactose-free?
- Mm-hm.
This is the coldest thing
I could find.
Oh!
Thank you.
Shez, it's not too late
to call this off, yeah?
And why the hell
would we do that?
What happened at Smith Street?
Nothing.
I mean, you and Nan don't
exactly seem like a...
a well-oiled machine.
I just don't want anyone
to get hurt.
Smith Street was a long time ago
and it was my first job.
We're fine now.
Did something go wrong?
No.
Was that how you hurt your leg?
Did you get shot?
I've got cerebral palsy,
you dingo!
Oh. Oh! Sorry.
Oh, well...
Well, pardon my
'terrible callsy'.
Look, Shez, you seem
like a good person.
Yeah? And what makes you
say that?
Because Nan used the cricket bat
and you used the pool noodle.
I guess kids never
really liked me.
I mean, they'd look
at my clean clothes
and respect for the rules and...
still weren't friendly.
Just last week,
my godson bit me
and I had to throw him
into the baptismal font.
Just made me think.
When I have this baby...
would they like me?
Well, I like you.
Yeah, me too.
Please!
Yeah, you're funny.
And it's fun when
you try to chase us.
Cheers.
Oi!
Whoever set this off
is still here.
- What?
- They're hiding in the store!
Maybe we left it on earlier.
Maybe we did.
You've had a screw loose
all night.
- You know something!
- I don't.
- No, I don't.
- Leave him alone!
You're gonna blinkin'
tell me now
or I'm gonna file down this toy
spoon and shiv you with it!
F...
It's just like in the movies.
Which one's Greg?
The one with the big hose.
Cool!
Wow!
Nah, it's locked. Get the axe.
Get the axe.
- Mate, what are you doing?
- I'm breaking down the door.
OK, you need to stop, breathe...
There is no time.
Do you smell any smoke?
No, because there isn't any.
Mate, it's Gladys!
- What do you mean?
- Think about it!
The phone call,
now the fire alarm at her work.
Mate, it's a Christmas
booty call.
No, she would not break protocol
like that.
All I'm saying is that there's
no smoke and there's no fire.
Just get the axe!
- Who's in there?
- Hello? Anybody in there?
Everybody needs
to just keep quiet
and stay cool, right?
No, you need to let us go.
What did I just say?
They're about to break down
the door and get us anyway.
- Bring it on!
- Cool it, Nan!
Don't tell me to cool it!
You're the one got us in
this blinkin' mess in the first place!
I didn't know the alarms
would go off!
They didn't go off.
Somebody set them off!
And they were meant to be cut
with the phone lines.
- That wasn't my job.
- Well, it wasn't my job!
OK, stop, alright?
I can fix this.
Hey! You stay put!
Let me talk to them.
I can get them to leave.
No, no, no! Mr Harrington!
No, no, no.
This is the safest thing
for everyone, Pete.
Derrick's right.
So we let the smooth-talker
just 'speed things up' again?
Nan, I'm really sorry
about Smith Street,
but if we get caught,
you're gonna go away for
a lot longer than five years.
Fine!
Let's go, chicken legs.
Right.
Stand back, stand back! OK.
Three, two, one!
Whoa! Ooh!
- Hey, guys.
- Hey!
What's up?
Mr Harrington. Uh...
Hey, is...
Is everything alright?
Oh, sorry, fellas.
That was all on me.
I was trying to heat up
my dinner
on one of these
My First Barbecues.
Got distracted and...
whole thing went up in smoke!
Oh.
So there's no fire?
No. No, nothin' to worry about.
Well, look, usually
there is a call-out fee
for this kind of thing, but...
you did donate all those toys
to the bushfire appeal,
so we'll let it slide.
Ah! Thanks, guys.
Really appreciate it.
Well, have a good night!
OK.
Hey, uh, just...
just one more thing, um...
Is Gladys in tonight?
Just... I got a missed call
from her. I was just...
No.
Sorry, Greg.
I, uh, sent her home early.
OK. Alright.
Have a good night.
Yeah.
- Hey, I'm sorry, man.
- Yeah.
Wasn't a booty call.
It was a butt dial.
What the hell is he doing?!
Why aren't they coming in?
Greg! Greg!
- Come on, up here!
- Help!
- Help!
- Hello!
Ohh!
Help! Come on, up here!
Help! We're up here!
- Help!
- Gladys?
Greg!
Did she swallow a basketball?
You're pregnant!
Help! There's someone
in the building!
They're holding us hostage!
Oh! Oh, my bum!
- No!
- Oh, my God!
- Inside. Inside!
- I'm hit! I'm hit!
- They shot him!
- Shut the door!
How about I shoot you in the
butt and see if you like it?!
Snap out of it!
A bullet in the butt
is hardly lethal.
Where do we go?
This map is useless!
Let's head to the roof.
We can hide in the kangaroo.
Ah! Oh!
You saved me. Thank you!
It's OK. It's OK.
Tell... tell Gladys I love her!
No! You tell her yourself.
I'm applying pressure.
Ahhh!
HQ, this is truck 25. We need
immediate police assistance.
Shots fired at
Harringtons toy store.
I repeat, shots fired!
Oh, my God, Nan! You shot him!
- They're gonna call the cops!
- No.
You shot him when you
screwed this thing up!
- We have to go.
- Yeah?
You gonna bail on me? Again?
I told you there were roadworks
and the lollipop lady
wouldn't wave me through.
You went soft on me
in Smith Street
and you're going soft on me now.
I was 14 years old!
Who makes a teenager
their getaway driver?
Listen, I went away for
a long time because of you.
You wanna make it up to me?
Now's your chance.
You in or you out?
- I'm in.
- Good girl.
Watch these two like hawks.
Nana's in the driver's seat now.
Where are you going?
Huntin'!
More hostages, more cash.
Hey. Hey, you OK?
You OK, Mr Harrington?
The guns are real.
What do you mean?
I just... I didn't think
the guns would be real.
Quickly!
Gotcha!
- You're mine.
- Run!
Go, save yourselves! Ahh!
Come on, Gladys! Come on!
What are you doing, you idiots?
Never leave a man behind.
Leavin'?
Who said anything about leavin'?
Out of the fire
and into the frying Nan.
Let's go, little mice.
OK.
OK, be gentle!
Mr Harrington?
If you didn't think
their guns were real,
why did you help them?
I just... couldn't take a chance.
Found your rats.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God!
Wombat, Brady. Where were you?
Are you two alright?
- Come here.
- We're fine.
- Gladys helped us.
- Gladys.
What are you doing here?
I sent you home.
I was trying to catch
a couple of crims.
Clearly I was after
the wrong ones!
Two kids
and a knocked-up Girl Scout.
We were sweating our tits off
for nothin'!
Smile!
Are you kidding?
Do you know what kind of
jail time you'll get
if anything happens
to those kids?
That's one way of looking at it.
Oh!
Showtime!
Hello, yes? Derrick's phone?
Uh, what is going on?
Why are there children there?
And... and who do
you think you are?
Shut it, Richie Bitch.
Payday's just gone up.
We found ourselves
a couple of extra hostages,
so we figure that's
a bit more work for us.
Ransom's gone up.
400K.
Ohhh!
Terri, pay the money
and end this, please!
I ju... I can't!
I... I...
Still can't? Righto!
We'll start with a two-for-one.
- Whoa, whoa! No, let her go!
- Mr Harrington!
You've got three seconds, Terri.
What's going on?
Guys, are you OK?
- Nan, let her go.
- Nan, she's pregnant.
- This has gone far enough!
- Two.
- No! Gladys!
- No, please!
So this is what it means
to die hard.
Derrick! Derrick!
- One.
- Enough!
It's off.
Put the gun down.
That is an order.
What's off?
The ransom.
Y-you set it up?
That's why you sent us home.
That's why you thought
the guns were fake.
I'm sorry.
No, I'm so, so, so, so sorry.
It was not meant
to end like this.
OK?
I tried to keep the place
running. I really did.
I didn't know what to do.
So your solution
was faking a ransom?
Terri, I know you've hated me
since Dad died.
I got scared to ask
for anything.
And then I got desperate.
And it wasn't supposed
to be dangerous.
You weren't even supposed
to be here.
Right? Then you brought
your friggin' Nan.
Derrick.
It's just supposed to be
a win-win.
Shez gets half,
I get the other half.
And then I was gonna
make things right.
Mate, you're about as dense
as a fully packed cone
if you thought we were ever
gonna split halvesies with you.
Well, that was the deal.
We're criminals, Derrick.
And deals, much like
laws and regulations,
don't actually mean
that much to us.
Shez.
Shez!
You were wrong.
I'm not a good person.
Did you get all that, Terri?
Yeah. You'll get your money.
Ace.
So there's a black ute
parked across the road
from your office
and two rather handsome boys
waiting to escort you here.
A black ute?
Nan, you didn't.
Keep on tying, Sherrin.
I wanna be chuggin' a beer
in Bali on Boxing Day.
Ho-ho-ho-ho-ho!
It's just a scratch.
Gladys is pregnant?
Why didn't she tell me?
I didn't see that comin'.
Look, if she's chosen somebody
else, that's... that's OK.
I just... We just have to
make sure she's safe, OK?
Good evening, boys.
My name's Constable Karen.
I'll be your negotiator
for the evening.
It's time to save
another Christmas.
You work holidays a lot?
Oh! Diwali, Hanukkah,
King's Birthday.
It's all a nightmare.
But you know what?
Christmas is the bloody worst.
What's the sitch?
Uh, the situation is
at least one armed bandit.
He's only got one arm?
No, she's got two.
Oh! Slay, queen! Yes.
She's holding at least
four hostages.
Two kids, one man...
and a pregnant woman.
Wow! Got ourselves a full house,
don't we?
Alright, I'm gonna go warm up.
Thank you very much.
The personable police officer
patrolled the public park
personally.
The personable police officer
patrolled the public park
personally.
Hey, I don't wanna
scare you, but...
they're screwed.
Here. Shez.
Empty the cash registers.
Is everybody OK?
You know, if we just...
do what they say...
Shut up, Derrick!
What were you thinking?
Risking our lives,
bringing those two in here!
Dinosaurs! Yeah!
It's OK, Mr Harrington.
No, it's not, Wombat.
Don't talk to him.
The debt collectors are gonna
take over this place,
leaving you all high and dry.
At least this way
I could pay off the debts,
I could pay you off.
And I could close it down.
You're gonna close down
the store?
Today was our last day.
What?
You're giving up?
Giving up?
I've tried everything, Gladys.
I just can't run this place
as good as my dad could.
I mortgaged my house,
I worked 24/7,
I've taken out every loan
imaginable.
And I still can't get it right.
And what's worse is
I failed you too.
So, yeah.
I've given up.
Hey? Hey. It's OK.
No, it's not.
Where are we gonna live now?
We can find your dad.
We can get him to come back.
No, he's never coming back.
But... but you said...
I know. I... I was wrong.
You're living here?
I had no idea.
Did you know about this?
Do you know what makes this
store so special, Mr Harrington?
It's not the store
or... or the toys. It's...
It's the people. It's...
It's all of us.
It's all of us together.
Harringtons isn't a store.
It's a... it's a family.
And if you're giving up
on the store,
then you're giving up on us.
We have the money.
Bring the hostages
to the front door
so we can facilitate
the handover.
We have the place surrounded,
so don't try anything funny.
Unless that's part of
your negotiations.
Get 'em up.
Oh!
- Come on.
- Get off me!
OK.
Right, here's the deal.
Derrick goes, gets the money,
my accomplices
drive us out of here,
you guys come in
and save the children,
we're all home
for Christmas lunch.
Got it?
Yes, but how do we know
the hostages are safe?
How do I know the money's
in the bag?!
Oh, yeah. Checkmate.
Alright, deal.
Hi.
Hi.
I-I'm sorry.
Look, I don't hate you.
I know you think I just
left when Dad died, but...
I think I was left out
way before that.
What do you mean?
It's not Harrington & Daughters.
Oh, darling,
did you wet yourself?
Don't worry,
I-I do it all the time.
No, her waters broke!
No, no, no,
I actually wet myself.
It's really embarrassing.
She's got a weapon!
Put your gun down!
Put it down.
Step away from the preggo.
Right, that's it! Deal's off.
Grab 'em! Everyone inside.
Don't do anything stupid, toots.
You don't do anything stupid.
Ransoms are the stupid thing.
No, no, she needs to get
to a hospital!
Don't... I take it back.
I'm sorry.
- Derrick!
- Let her go!
You can stand down.
Gonna be here all night.
Ohhh, my boss is gonna kill me!
Screwed up again, did you, Shez?
Hm! Told you she would.
Hi, Uncle Jacko. Uncle Ricko.
Let her go.
- Wait, what's going on?
- Don't you hurt him!
Hold it open! Help me!
Let go of me! Ow!
Oh, my God, the baby's comin'!
No, no, no, it's just a cramp.
I've been having them all day.
Told you it was Braxton Hicks.
She needs to go to a hospital.
Shut up!
Let's go.
Where? They've got the place
surrounded.
- To the roof!
- What?!
We're taking the kangaroo.
Always have a backup plan, Shez.
A little trick I learned
after Smith Street.
From you, actually.
Come ba...
ahhh...
ack.
Hey, darl, just remember,
if you're not pooing,
you're not pushing.
What?
Let's go!
Shez, now!
Shez!
Gladys, Gladys, are you alright?
Gladys, you need to
take it easy.
What's she doing?
They hurt my Greg!
Oh!
She has the power of two humans!
Shh! Shh!
Yeah, here, here!
Oh!
OK. Here, here.
Wait, where are you going?
I let you down, Terri.
I let everyone down.
And now it's time
to make things right.
You all get out of here.
Derrick, wait!
And you wanted to bail!
Maybe that's not
such a bad thing.
- What did you say?
- Nothing.
Oi!
That's not your money.
And what are you gonna
do about it, Derrick?
You're all alone.
Hey!
Got about 50 more of these over
here if you don't shut up!
- What are you doing?
- We're family!
Or were you not listening?
Alright, lock and load.
Fire!
Shez, gimme your gun!
Nan!
Nan, wait!
Ow!
He told us
not to bring real guns.
Oh, my God, are you blinking
kidding me right now?
Stop!
We'll take the back stairs.
Gladys, stay where you are.
Not on your goddamn life! Ohhh!
Come on, come at me.
- I can take him.
- Are you kidding me?
You can't bring an arm
to a nunchucka fight.
- You got a better idea?
- No. But that one stinks.
You stink.
- Now!
- What?
Arggh! Come on!
What are you gonna do,
hit me with your yo-yo?
It's like I said,
you gotta be gentle, right?
Kill him!
I don't want to fight.
I'm a lover, not a fighter,
Sherrin.
Stay down!
Ready!
Release!
- Cheers, Grandma!
- Grab it, grab it!
Whoa! Whoa-oh!
- Whoa!
- Oh!
Terri, stand back, I got this.
Terri?
Ugh!
Ow!
Arggh!
Ooh! Ugh!
Now, stay down, crab boy!
Hey!
Let go of my brother.
- I can't get a clean shot.
- Uh-oh!
Wombat, look at me!
What?
Let her rip.
Ugh!
Wombat!
Arggh!
Run!
Uh-oh, Mama,
time for a lie-down.
Oh!
Ahhh!
Nice tactic,
causing that diversion.
Yeah, diversion.
Is that coming from in here?
Is this a ransom or a rave?
We should probably focus.
Nuh? OK.
- Think fast!
- Whoa!
Give me the money.
I could have used
the cricket bat.
Now, get outta here.
Good girl, Shez!
How's this for a getaway car?
Wow!
Ughhh.
Oh!
Sherrin.
Hey, meathead!
Ugh!
Ugh!
I'm so sorry. Am I fired?
Come on!
Good girl!
Give the bag to Nanna!
No.
Shez.
We're family.
Yeah.
But I'm nothing like you.
I'm out.
Hey, come here!
Shez!
Sweetie!
You were never really in.
Shez!
Oh!
Hey!
Nan, she's getting away!
Would you stop dancing?
Please?
Pfff.
Boring!
- Oh!
- I got it!
- Oh!
- Wait, let me, let me!
Let me. Let me. Oh!
Here, here, I got it, here.
Oh, my God!
We need more manpower!
- Oh!
- What are you doing?!
Let's get a wriggle on!
Oh!
Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho!
Hello, Skippy!
Stop!
What are you doing?!
You can't stop me, Derrick!
Derrick!
Just leave it!
I can't!
Damn it!
- No! Don't!
- I'm coming, I'm coming!
You're running out of room!
- Oh!
- Come on!
Hey, let go!
No!
OK, on three.
One, two, three!
Stop it!
Keep going, we've got her!
Arggh!
No, no. It's OK.
Stop her, please!
You can't all come to Bali
with me!
I think she's crowning!
- I've still got pants on!
- What does crowning even mean?
I don't know!
Gladys! Gladys, Gladys, Gladys!
Go back!
- Derrick
- What?
Just let it go.
Derrick, no!
Merry Christmas, chumps!
Oh-ho, we're doing this!
If that's the bad guys
I'm in a lot of trouble.
Merry Christmas!
I'm the Nan of the world!
I'm sorry, everyone.
Are you kidding?
I'm the one
who needs to apologise.
Also, Gladys...
I think you're having a baby.
Yes.
Me too.
Arggh!
We just need to get to the door.
- There's an ambulance outside.
- Ow, my hand.
- No, no. It's coming!
- I'll get the blanket.
- Wombat, you get all them.
- No, stay up, stay up!
Pop her down.
I can't do it.
- I can't do it!
- Snap out of it!
The kid's gonna love you.
Oh! OK, alright, Gladys,
you're gonna need to push.
Oh, no, somebody call Greg!
- Glad-wrap!
- Let's go!
Bali must be there
Oh, it's just got to be there
I never
Never been to Bali
I don't wanna live
in that place...
Must be something to eat
in here.
What's this?
"Greg-Nog."
Oh, yuck!
That was the most beautiful
birth I've ever seen.
Um, are you OK?
- Are you OK?
- Yeah.
I'm OK. Are you?
- You got shot.
- Oh, yeah. Yeah.
They said it was just a graze,
but the pain, Gladys...
Oh, I can't describe it.
I can't imagine.
Yeah.
Hey, uh...
Oh, sh-sh-sh-sh.
- Shh.
- Congratulations.
Congratulations to you
and... and... and, um...
You, you idiot.
- Me?
- Yeah.
I'm a... I'm a... I'm a dad?
Yeah!
I'm sorry, Greg, I...
I tried to tell you,
but whenever we went to meet up,
I'd see you sitting in the cafe
with a babycino
and I'd just panic.
- Why?
- I was scared.
But recently, I've been given
some great advice
from two very wise people.
I'm... I'm scared too.
- Really?
- Yes, yes.
Maybe we can be scared together.
- Oh!
- Yuck!
Gross!
I knew it. Christmas booty call.
Who are you?
What's a booty call?
Thank you.
For... for what?
We didn't...
we didn't get the money.
For reminding me who I was
when I'd forgotten.
I'm really sorry, Pete.
This should never have happened.
You're an amazing kid.
And an even better brother.
Merry Christmas.
Where are you going?
Hand myself in.
- You're what?
- It's the right thing to do.
No, but no-one knows!
No-one knows anything.
Mr Harrington, we can pin
this whole thing on Nan.
- Oh, Pete.
- Please, come on.
And in the end
she did take the money,
so it kinda was
a real hostage situation.
Yeah, that I planned!
I put us all in danger
and I stole money
from my sister.
- Yeah, that was...
- Then give it back.
Shez.
What are you doing?
Hiding from the cops.
This is for you.
Wha...
I switched it before Nan
pushed me into this pit.
Oh, my God!
Why didn't you keep it?
I don't know.
Didn't feel right.
Never does, actually.
What do you say? We won't say
anything if you don't.
Oi, get away from that woman!
She's the other one, yeah?
No, no, this is...
This is another one
of the hostages.
No, I saw you. You were pushing
around the pregnant one.
I saw you outside.
Yes, she was forced to do that
by Nan.
- Nan!
- And I have a disability.
Do you really think I could
pull off a hostage situation?
Pff! Didn't stop
the Rolling Assassin.
13 murders
and we still can't find him.
Or his wheelchair.
Well, um... well,
she's also my girlfriend.
Pfff! No.
I mean, I didn't realise
we were official yet, babe.
But yeah, I came to surprise him
at work.
You... Him? You're dating him?
You bet.
Him?
Oh. Alright, get a room.
Jeepers creepers.
Well, that story checks out.
Alright, um, we'll get
a statement from you.
Um, uh...
Enjoy your evening.
See you guys later.
'Bye, Sherrin.
Oh!
These two have just told me
that...
So this is Stockholm syndrome?
OK, well, it's my understanding
that these two have been living
here without a guardian.
That's not true.
Yeah, but Pete's our guardian.
Yes, I'm the guardian.
You?
- How old are you, Romeo?
- I'm... nearly...
Actually, they're staying
with me.
I'm the guardian.
Right, OK.
Well, yep.
What?
You know, a brave young man
once told me
Harringtons isn't just
a toy store...
it's a family.
What do I need to sign?
What, for three kids?
A big cheque.
Honestly, that's not really
my department,
but I'll make some calls, yeah.
My God, thank you,
thank you, Mr Harrington.
Hey, it's the least I can do.
Oh, come here, you two.
- Are you alright?
- Yeah, we're great.
You used to be so cute.
What happened?
I inherited a toy store.
You know,
Dad always thought you were
the family genius.
He didn't leave you
out of the store, Terri.
He freed you to do bigger
and better things.
I mean, I never thought
you wanted it.
I wanted what it meant.
There's a reason my first
video game was about a toy shop.
You know, Dad would have wanted
you to make this place your own.
It doesn't have to be
a memorial.
This is yours.
What?!
How?
And so is the store.
If you want it.
Keep it.
- Consider it my buy-in.
- But...
You clearly need
some professional guidance
around here,
or someone who can negotiate,
at the very least.
You know, I could be
a silent partner.
You know what?
I've got a better idea.
Ooh-hoo, Skip.
Look what we've got!
What's this?
Oh, Sherrin, what have you done?
No!
No!
This isn't even the right way
to Bali!
And bob's your uncle -
the toy store was saved.
Ah!
And everything worked out well
in the end.
This one's mine.
Pete, Brady and Wombat's
off-the-grid storeroom
got a makeover.
Merry Christmas!
And became their very own place
to call home.
And it was very close
to Pete's work.
Derrick knew he still had a bit
of making up to do,
so he gave every member
of the Harrington family
their own Christmas surprise.
Oh...
Pete got a promotion
to assistant store manager
and Harringtons' resident Santa.
That's a big one.
And my girl Terri
became a business partner
with her video games centrestage
now that she was finally home.
one, go!
You see, Derrick always thought
that Harringtons
was a magical wonderland
because of the toys
in the store.
But after
that fateful Christmas,
what he realised
was that the magic
really came from the people
that he had around him,
who loved the store
as much as he did.
A dream aloud
So stay there
'Cause I'll be
coming over...
Because it wasn't just a store,
it was a family and it was home.
And once he learnt that, the
place was never empty again.
Look, kid, it's Christmas Eve.
I'm feeling generous,
and that is why I'm gonna let
you off with just a warning.
I don't get it.
Kid, we've been here
for an hour and a half.
- What don't you get?
- I don't know.
Oh, would you, um...
would you be interested in
any of the Greg-Nog?
- He's 10!
- Gross.
- Oh, maybe his parents?
- Uh, not now.
- OK, OK, OK. I gotta go.
- 'Bye, Greginor.
'Bye, little Gladdy!
- Oh, 'bye!
- 'Bye!
- Ahhh!
- Be good for Daddy!
We all make mistakes.
True magic comes from people,
not stealing this stethoscope.
It was for a medical emergency.
It's a toy!
Yo, Gladdo, I caught this kid
stealing a video game.
Oh! Good on you, Shez.
Maybe don't pull her
by the hair, though.
- Can I go now?
- No.
'Cause you clearly haven't
gotten the message.
Alright, sit down and shut up.
Are you ready?
Good, because I'm about to
tell you a story.
Kissing under...
Pete!
He never even got to learn
how to stocktake!
Same thing, but hotter.
Like, cough sexy.
Maybe let's not cough at all.
It's a bit COVID vibe.
Alright.
Ain't good or bad...
I need immediate assistance
in locating me a hot chocky.
I'm just glad...
Yummy.
Oh!
You good?
Yeah.
Is this a ransom, or, like,
a blue light disco?
Ho...
Sleepless
Heavenly...
I don't know the words.
Sorry.
- Save yourself!
- Oh, OK. OK.
Save yourself! Go!
Go!
Oh, no, take me too! Come back!
Arggh!
Arggh, that hurts so much!
It's unfair.
Life's unfair.
Your face is unfair.
Like a stranger...
That is a banger.
I'm just sayin'.
- It is pretty catchy.
- It is.
It's a ransom...
Let go of her!
Ohhh!
Tell me a joke...
That song...
Let's toast to all...
Uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh...
Come on, Christmas...
Aroo!
So this is what it means
to die hard.
So this is what
it means to die hard!
So this is what it means
to die hard.
Than to have
A happy Christmas with you
Ooh-hoo-hoo
All our family and friends
A happy Christmas with you
Don't want this story
To end.
Alright, sit down, shut up.
Are you ready? Good.
'Cause I'm about to tell you
a story.
It's a modern-day
Christmas epic,
a tale of saviours and scrooges,
family and friends,
heroes and villains
and of Harrington & Sons,
the greatest toy store
in the whole wide world.
It was a race
to grow up...
Or at least
the greater metropolitan region.
Harrington & Sons was
a magical wonderland,
a toy store that kids
never wanted to leave.
And I wanted to be
just like you
Wanted to be taller too...
This was a toy store
that was chockablock full
of the best toys ever.
It had steam trains, puppy dogs
and the famous
Harringtons ball pit.
Everything was special,
even that weird
toy soldier thing.
I just know you're close
I just know...
This fine establishment
was owned by a man named
Clarence Harrington,
a real-life Santa Claus.
Clarence was beloved by
every kid who knew him
and people came
from far and wide to meet him
and share in
his Christmas spirit.
He was a good bloke.
Hi, Mr Harrington.
He was the father
of Derrick and Terri,
who both loved the store
with all their hearts.
Derrick wanted to grow up
just like his dad
and run the toy shop
exactly the way he did
and, of course, keep up
their Christmas tradition
of sending letters to Santa
in the pouch of
their giant kangaroo.
Open the door
and you walk back home...
Sadly, all this joy
was not to last,
for time has a funny way
of changing things.
But this story actually starts
with a much older Derrick
and Gladys, the best
security guard in the universe.
Careful. She's about to pop.
Gladys, what are you doing here?
I sent you home an hour ago.
Clearly I'm still needed.
Hold this.
I got it.
Greg-Nog?
Another gift from Greg.
By far, the worst.
Hoo.
You still haven't told him?
Told him what, Derrick?
As my employer,
the status of my love-life is
actually none of your business.
- And what about as a friend?
- Mm, would we say we're friends?
How many letters for Santa
have you got?
- Jeez, that's bleak.
- Yeah.
Well, why write to Santa
when you can text him?
Well, with less ballast, maybe
this'll take off this year.
Yeah.
Are you OK?
Yeah. Yeah, of course.
I know Christmas by yourself
can be tough,
especially when
you've done it so many times.
How about I let you win
at giant Jenga?
- Go home, Gladys.
- Alright.
Just let me do
one more sweep of the floor.
Now.
And for Pete's sake,
talk to him!
- Mm.
- You forgot your Greg-Nog.
Keep it.
- Merry Christmas, Gladys.
- Merry Christmas, Derrick.
And with
true love and brotherhood
Each other now embrace...
Good evening,
Christmas shoppers.
Just a reminder Harrington &
Sons is closing in 10 minutes,
so feel free to queue up
at the registers now
and beat the Christmas rush.
Comfort and joy
Oh, tidings
of comfort and joy...
Cute!
Can we keep him, Mum? Please?
He's not that expensive.
Oh, I'm sorry, sweetie. Maybe
find something a little smaller.
You know, this one
was just telling me
how much he wanted a good home.
Do you promise to walk him
every day?
I promise!
Then he's all yours.
- Thank you so much.
- Oh, it's nothing.
And, look,
you can't break up the litter.
How about your take
his little sister too, hey?
Are you sure?
Yeah, it's my pleasure.
Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas.
Where are your video games?
Oh, sorry, mate.
We don't actually stock
those here, but...
have you seen this?
Of course I have.
Well, just wait for it.
Wait for it.
Yeah, look, I just came here
for video games.
Wait for it. Wait for it.
Holy dooley!
This place sucks, by the way.
Holy dooley.
- Pete!
- Hi.
- Is everything OK?
- Uh, yeah.
- Well, no.
- Ooh!
Someone graffitied all
the Magna Sketches again.
- Yeah, that is very lifelike.
- I know.
I reckon that's us done
for the day, mate.
- I'll close up.
- No, I'll do it.
- I always do it.
- Nah, don't be silly.
- It's Christmas Eve.
- I do still need to find Jesus.
As in 'baby', for the nativity.
At least a substitution.
I could probably...
Ooh!
Good grief. Sorry!
Playlist mix-up.
- Go home to your family, Pete.
- Yeah,
- OK. On.
- I really don't think that's...
Attention, valued customers.
This is Pete
from the front desk.
Harrington & Sons is now closed.
Thank you very much.
There we go. Just in case.
Alright.
Well, merry Christmas,
Mr Harrington.
I'll see you Boxing Day.
Merry Christmas, Pete.
"Thanks, Gregory.
"Also, LOL,
"I forgot to say
I'm... pregnant."
Don't be stupid.
Wombat, confirm
you have eyes on the target.
OK, but I think
we should just wait
until they turn the lights
back on.
Oh, my gosh...
Oh, bingo!
Commence
Operation Christmas Star.
Left. Left.
No, your left!
We have the same left.
Oh, right.
Right.
Little more.
A little more.
What have we got here?
Merry Christmas, Gladys.
Yes!
Wombat, look!
I know! It's beautiful!
No. Behind you.
Waah!
Well, well, well,
if it isn't Barbie
and Ken.
- Don't call me Ken!
- I didn't.
Run!
- Brady, save yourself!
- Never leave a man behind.
Attack.
Hey! Urgh!
Get back here,
you little skid marks!
Think quick!
She's like
a pregnant Terminator!
Get back here!
She's unstoppable!
She has the power of two humans!
Run!
- Uh-oh!
- Don't you dare!
I'm sorry.
This is it. This is the end.
Next station, my office.
What did you eat?!
Don't forget, Wombat,
we're pleading the Fifth.
Right.
The fifth what?
Don't say a word.
So, you thought you could fool
old Gladys, huh?
I expected more from you.
Maybe not from you.
Please, drink.
You must be thirsty.
You sure, mate?
Could be a long night.
Have it your way, then.
Ahhh!
Tell me your names now!
- Wombat!
- No. Wombat!
- Sorry, Brady!
- Stop!
I've been after you two
for a very long time,
Wombat and Brady.
No-one steals from Mr Harrington
on my watch.
December 1,
you started off small,
the Good Night Night Light.
December 2,
Outback Olive Sleeping Bag.
Very cosy.
Then, December 15,
for some inexplicable reason,
you steal my lunch
from the office microwave.
- That wasn't us.
- We don't even like risotto.
Who said anything about risotto?
These were all taken
inside the store.
It's not stealing
if it doesn't leave the store.
Enough with the whistling, Shez.
Oh, sorry, ma'am.
We're actually closed
for the evening.
But we're open again Boxing Day.
All Christmas trees 50% off.
Hello, Derrick.
I'm sorry.
Do we know each other?
Hey, Mr Harrington,
I didn't find baby Jesus,
but I did find
a little poopy baby doll.
Pete, get out of here.
Where do you think you're going?
- Where's your mum?
- Dunno.
- Alright. Your dad?
- Dunno.
Do you think
I was born yesterday?
No, but it looks like your baby
should have been.
What baby?
I know kids like you.
I've known them all my life.
Selfish, mean,
sticky little bullies
who get away with everything.
Well, not today.
Who are they?
What time is it?
- 7:00.
- Give me that!
What haven't you stolen?!
Alright, you two stay here and
think about what you've done.
Oh, we will.
Hey!
Aw!
Hey, you know... you know,
you know, whatever it is...
Whatever it is, you know,
crime is not the answer.
Is it money? If it's money,
then we are hiring.
We're clear.
What are you looking at?
What are you looking at?
An angel.
What are you lookin' at?
Sorry. So...
You got a bloody lift here
or what?
- No.
- Should be criminal.
- Let him go.
- It's too late for that.
He's just a kid. Please.
We let him go, first thing
he's gonna do is call the cops.
No, he won't. Will you, Pete?
No?
Real believable.
Nothing to be scared of
as long as you do what we say.
Now sit down.
- Hey...
- I said sit down!
Just do what they say, Pete.
Look, look, I know...
I know the holidays are hard.
You'll be hard
if you don't sit down.
What?
You know what I mean!
What?
Don't. No, don't... Ooh!
Oh! Hey!
You got a problem, Harrington?
No.
No problem.
Get up.
They're gonna throw us
in the slammer, Brady!
That's the least of our worries
if we don't get out of here.
Get rid of the photos.
That is so smart!
Way cooler than using
the spare key.
- What?
- The one hanging on the wall.
Oh, my...
Just a double knot?
We're not
tying shoelaces, Sherrin!
What kind of knot is that?
Whoa!
Alright, alright,
keep your knickers on.
My knickers are in a knot.
Oh.
- You OK, Pete?
- Yep.
Alright, fine. What do you want?
300,000 in cash.
I'm sorry.
We don't have that much.
Oh, I'm sure Mr Harrington
will think of something.
"All Hail the Gaming Queen"?
I'm sorry, who is...
Who is... Who is that?
- That's my sister.
- It's your sister?
Your sister owns
Territron Games?
Oh, my God, Mr Harrington!
I own literally every single one
of her video games.
- Shut it!
- Wh...
Where's your phone?
Hurry up, dimples! You
waste our time, I waste you!
Crap!
Where's my phone?!
Crap!
Crap.
- Oh!
- Head to the roof!
Oi!
- Mama! I need a new nappy!
- Shh, shh, shh, shh!
- Stop it! Stop it.
- Mama! I need a new nappy!
Hey! Get back here!
Wait.
Where did they go?
Did you check upstairs?
You gotta be kidding me.
Of course I checked upstairs.
- Well, what's with the noises?
- Stop nagging.
I know what I'm doing.
Nan, oh, my God,
can you just shut it
for once in your life?
Mama!
There was tomato in that.
Now my lips are tingly.
What is that?
Don't forget,
I'm gluten-intolerant,
peanut-intolerant,
lactose-intolerant!
They used to
just shit themselves.
I need to poop again.
- Is everything OK?
- It's fine.
Let's make the call.
She'll never fit in here.
Who are you guys talking about?
The fat security go...
We don't want him to faint.
I said we need them
for this job.
Alright!
I'm not trying to bust ya,
but we are in serious danger,
Look.
Stop it!
You don't need to talk to him!
- He's scared.
- He's fine!
It's ringing.
She's, um, not answering.
Well, why isn't she answering?
I don't know, OK?
- That's ridiculous!
- It's been a while.
What do we do?
Keep your grubby mouth shut
and follow me.
Where do we go?
It's Christmas Eve.
She's probably...
Hello. Terri speaking.
Terri!
- Goodnight. Merry Christmas.
- See you. Merry Christmas.
Hi. Sorry. Who is this?
It's Derrick.
Derrick...?
Y-your brother.
Oh! Right.
Um, sorry. New phone.
Well, thanks for answering,
I... I guess.
Yeah, it's a Christmas miracle.
OK, well, great chat.
Give me that!
Teresa Harrington,
we have your brother hostage.
And you've got one hour
to give us $300,000 or else.
I don't know what you're trying
to pull, Derrick,
but this isn't funny.
No, they're serious, Terri.
They came into our
store. They've got us here.
They... they came in with guns.
Oh, my God, OK.
Well, I'll call the police.
You call the cops and you'll
never see your brother again.
They want money.
I need your help, Terri.
- Did you hear what I said?
- Yeah, yeah, I did.
Listen up, C-E-ho,
we want 300K in one hour
or we start playing hangman.
I already said that.
It's not what you say, Shez,
it's how you say it.
You gotta scare 'em and hang up.
Then they call back
all crying and blubbering
and begging to do
whatever it is you want.
Uh-oh.
What? What's the matter?
Oh, no! Wombat, don't you dare!
- I can't help it!
- Can't help what?
- Hold it in!
- It's coming!
What's the matter?
When Wombat gets nervous, he...
What the hell was that?
It wasn't that bad.
Christ, that's rank!
Oh, oh, it's the mice.
We have big mice in our store.
We don't have mice.
Yes, we do. We do.
Remember I left
the invoice on your desk
for the mouse traps?
Wasn't that for the board game?
No.
Jesus, Pete, you bought
200 actual mouse traps?
Doesn't smell like mice.
Smells like rats.
- She's coming in!
- Where do we go?
Bloody big rats.
Wait, wait,
wait, wait. Uh...
- What do we do?!
- Be quiet!
Shh, shh! Just follow me.
Silent night
Holy night...
Pete, what are you doing?
Oh, come on! Having a bit
of fun. You know the words.
All is calm
All is bright...
I think they've broken him.
- No, they haven't.
- All...
It's a diversion. Let's go!
Bright
Round yon virgin
Virgin
Holy infant
So tender and mild
Immaculate conception...
Uh...
You try that again,
I'll cut your jingle balls off.
At least he'd hit
the high notes.
Right,
Tweedledee and Tweedlebum,
it's time to get you
out of here.
- What? No way!
- Yes way!
It's too dangerous and you two
are gonna cause trouble.
What about Pete?
Pete? Why do you care about him?
He...
seems to be a nice guy.
Well, I guess nice guys
do finish last. Let's go!
- Pete's our brother!
- Wombat, stop!
Employee-of-the-month Pete?
He's your brother?!
And you never leave
a man behind.
Well, we can't stay here.
Come on.
- Snitch!
- What? You don't!
You don't feed them
to the sharks either.
Shut up! Let's go!
Mr Harrington
doesn't have any sharks.
Shh!
- Mr Harrington...
- Hmm?
There is something
that I need to tell you.
- Hmm?
- The... My...
So, why hasn't your sister
rung back?
It's been 10 minutes, yeah?
Just give her time.
She was probably just in shock.
I'm no therapist,
but in a ransom,
family members
generally tend to -
I don't know -
care?
I'm telling you it was shock.
Thought you said
this was a done deal, Shez.
I've got this. Trust me.
- Done that once before.
- Nan!
Or have you forgotten
Smith Street?
- I said I've got this!
- Yeah?
'Cause it's looking
a bit like a shitshow, Shez.
Maybe you need to call
for some backup.
We just don't talk much, yeah,
since our dad died.
It's just a little rough patch
we're going through.
Your dad died 10 years ago.
You haven't spoken to her
in 10 years?!
She will call back, OK?
You'll get your money.
Can we all just calm down?
Oh, we're all calm here,
Derrick.
For now.
Hey, Mr Harrington,
what if your...
What if you sister
doesn't help us?
She will.
- She will.
- OK, she will.
Then why hasn't she called back?
Pete, drop it.
I'm sorry.
You know, I know how hard
it can be to lose family.
Yeah, it is.
Mr Harrington, there's something
that I'm gonna tell you
about the mice in the tunnel.
Got about 50 more of them
over there
if you don't shut up.
What are you doing?
Calling the cops,
but it's not going through.
No cops! They'll kill Pete!
OK, traps shut. I think
they've cut off the phone lines.
Where's my phone?!
- It's low.
- Thanks for that, Einstein.
I got that.
Is it happening?
Or Braxton Hicks?
Nothing's happening! Get off!
Damn it, damn it, damn it!
What?
I know who to call.
Oh! Oh, wait.
Who is it? Gladys?
Mate!
You can't let her
do this to you.
Gotta use this
if you wanna protect this.
No, no, she's just calling to
say thank you for the Greg-Nog.
- Gregory, you didn't.
- I did.
It was small and it's for
the 12 days of Christmas.
Oh! Mate!
- No, no, no, no!
- I'm putting my foot down.
- Hey!
- You guys dated for how long?
OK, it was about a year.
- And she broke up with you when?
- Nine months ago.
And when you asked her why,
she...
She vomited on the pavement,
ran away
and then ghosted me ever since.
Exactly.
Nine months. Vomiting.
Uncharacteristic mood swings.
It's not gonna take a genius
to figure out what's
going on here, Greg.
She's a player.
And if you pick up this phone,
you're gonna get played.
But I thought she was the one.
Greg, you're one of the best
blokes that I know,
and one day, you're gonna
make someone very happy.
But until then,
we've got lives to save.
Yeah, you're right. Thanks, Sam.
You're right. Thanks, man.
Alright, firies, we ready?
We good? Let's bring it in.
Yeah, nice. Less shirts,
more skin.
You lot are gonna make
the front cover
of the Christmas calendar.
Mwah!
You put the 'fire' in 'fireman'.
Good. Great, yep.
Oh, that's hot.
This is so hot
I'm gonna have to put you out.
OK, great. That's great.
That's... Something's missing.
- Puppies are ready.
- Oh, yeah. Get 'em in there.
He's rejected me!
Try again!
He's never rejected me before.
Maybe he's busy saving lives.
The puppies are babies.
You've saved them.
You're handing them
back to their mother.
This is September, you know?
Yeah, nice.
- Crap, it died!
- What do we do now?
We could...
fly a drone outside
with a message?
Guys...
The doors are locked.
Maybe we should reconnect
the phone lines.
They're on the roof!
Guys, I think I've found
something.
- How do you know that?
- Research.
Brady! Gladys!
Will this work?
What are we gonna do,
barbecue our way outta this?
Ah!
Hey, you know I'm, uh...
pretty handy with a yo-yo.
What?
You know, loop the loop.
Walk the dog, rock the cradle.
You know, the key is
you gotta be...
Ohh!
Gentle.
- You gotta use your wrist.
- I'll break your wrists.
OK.
Hey, Shez, could I have
a glass of water?
- No!
- Please?
It's the middle of summer.
I'm so dry.
What are you doing?
I'm trying to spit.
You're a really weird guy,
you know that?
Thank you.
Not a compliment.
Well, please. Please, Shez.
There's some water behind the
counter. I won't move a muscle.
I swear, I'm not gonna m...
Pete, what are you doing?!
It's a classic
distraction tactic.
OK, two things.
First, Wombat and Brady are
the mice in the play tunnel.
- Don't know where they've gone.
- What?!
Second, and possibly worse,
I'm in love with Shez.
My God, I'm sweating like
a banana in the sun
and my heart feels like
it's exploding.
Why didn't you tell me sooner?
Because what's a girl like her
gonna want with a guy like me?
No, not that. Why are Wombat
and Brady in the store?
Oh, um, look, they were gonna
meet me after work.
I tried to tell you,
but then Nan came in
and started asking about
your sister and the money.
It's OK. It's OK.
It's all gonna be fine.
I thought maybe
they could help us.
No. I mean, they can't.
They have to stay hidden.
It's safer that way.
Look, if these two get their
money, nobody's gonna get hurt.
OK. Are you sure they're
gonna get their money?
Yes.
Terri might just need
a bit of a push.
Hey!
- Hey...
- Shez, what are you doing?
Hostages don't get water.
- They get hostaged!
- Listen.
Let me call Terri again.
To speed things up.
You let me talk to Terri and I
can get the money here faster.
Do it.
Uh, you said I had an hour.
Terri, it's me, Derrick.
Just checking in about
the money. Are you...
Working on it.
Cool, cool. You might need
to speed things up a bit.
It's just getting a little bit
tense around here.
Yeah, I'm doing my best.
It's a pretty crappy situation
you've thrown at me, you know?
I'm the one being held ransom,
so it's a bit more crappy
for me, yeah?
You obviously have no idea
how hard it is
to withdraw 300K in cash
on Christmas Eve.
Oh, well, sorry we're not
all swimming in millions.
You're the one who got
a business handed to him.
H-handed? Handed?!
Do you know how hard
I've worked?
And by the way, you can't swim
in millions.
I mean, you could probably run a
small bath in millions at best.
The fact that you even know that
says so much.
Oh, my God, you are
so self-righteous.
Well, that's better than
being selfish!
How am I selfish?
You couldn't even make it
to his funeral!
Since you've got it all
figured out, then...
Damn it!
What the bloody hell was that?
Well, I once listened to a
podcast about sibling rivalry...
- Not now, Pete.
- Can it, Pete.
Shut your damn yammer hole,
Pete.
Get her back on the phone, now.
Yes! Yes!
We did it!
I thought you said
this place was clear!
It is! It... was.
Jesus Christ, it's Smith Street
all over again.
It's nothing like
robbing a servo.
Something must have
set off the alarm.
No, not someTHING, Derrick.
Someone.
- Where's the panel?
- We'll never tell.
Don't! It's behind the counter.
It's behind... It's over there.
It's coming from
the security office.
Oh, no!
If this goes bad,
I'm taking you down with us.
You know that, right?
Guard Pimples and Dimples.
This is my job. I'll go.
That'll take all night!
No, no. No, no, no.
Wait, wait, wait!
Pete!
- Oh, help me!
- Pete!
Pete!
Good job, Wombat.
Guess I'm not as smart as
I look.
Um, Gladys...
If she gets this room,
she'll have all the cameras.
There'll be nowhere left
to hide.
She's old! I can take her.
You can take her.
Brady, we have to go
off the grid.
No way! If we show Gladys,
that's it for us.
We haven't got a choice.
Off the grid?
There's one place where
your cameras can't see.
Kid, I've got this place locked
down tighter than a cat's bum.
That's what you think.
And also, gross.
Are we gonna die here,
Mr Harrington?
No.
Just do what they say and we'll
get through this together.
What if she finds
Wombat and Brady?
What if she hurts them?
I'll keep a lookout
for the firetruck.
What is this place?
Wouldn't know.
- Just found it like this.
- Brady!
If we tell her,
she'll kick us out.
- You live here?
- It's just temporary.
Until Pete finds us a new place.
But... where are your parents?
Mum's in heaven.
Oh.
And what about your dad?
- We don't know.
- But he's coming back.
Pete said.
He left his favourite cap.
He always takes it with him
when he's leaving
for a long time.
So he'll definitely be back.
You can't live here.
It's not safe.
Please don't tell anyone.
They'll split us up.
- No, no.
- They've done it before.
But Pete's 18
in two weeks and three days.
And then we can have a place.
And Dad will come home
and it'll all go back to normal.
Hey.
If I've been...
you know...
I didn't mean to be.
Apology accepted.
It's just... kids...
aren't really my thing.
Oh, we know.
We see you some nights,
staying up late,
staring at the baby dolls.
I don't... I don't do that.
I don't know what
you're talking about.
Cup of tea?
Nuh. Nah. I'm right.
- Please?
- We shared our secret.
- Is that lactose-free?
- Mm-hm.
This is the coldest thing
I could find.
Oh!
Thank you.
Shez, it's not too late
to call this off, yeah?
And why the hell
would we do that?
What happened at Smith Street?
Nothing.
I mean, you and Nan don't
exactly seem like a...
a well-oiled machine.
I just don't want anyone
to get hurt.
Smith Street was a long time ago
and it was my first job.
We're fine now.
Did something go wrong?
No.
Was that how you hurt your leg?
Did you get shot?
I've got cerebral palsy,
you dingo!
Oh. Oh! Sorry.
Oh, well...
Well, pardon my
'terrible callsy'.
Look, Shez, you seem
like a good person.
Yeah? And what makes you
say that?
Because Nan used the cricket bat
and you used the pool noodle.
I guess kids never
really liked me.
I mean, they'd look
at my clean clothes
and respect for the rules and...
still weren't friendly.
Just last week,
my godson bit me
and I had to throw him
into the baptismal font.
Just made me think.
When I have this baby...
would they like me?
Well, I like you.
Yeah, me too.
Please!
Yeah, you're funny.
And it's fun when
you try to chase us.
Cheers.
Oi!
Whoever set this off
is still here.
- What?
- They're hiding in the store!
Maybe we left it on earlier.
Maybe we did.
You've had a screw loose
all night.
- You know something!
- I don't.
- No, I don't.
- Leave him alone!
You're gonna blinkin'
tell me now
or I'm gonna file down this toy
spoon and shiv you with it!
F...
It's just like in the movies.
Which one's Greg?
The one with the big hose.
Cool!
Wow!
Nah, it's locked. Get the axe.
Get the axe.
- Mate, what are you doing?
- I'm breaking down the door.
OK, you need to stop, breathe...
There is no time.
Do you smell any smoke?
No, because there isn't any.
Mate, it's Gladys!
- What do you mean?
- Think about it!
The phone call,
now the fire alarm at her work.
Mate, it's a Christmas
booty call.
No, she would not break protocol
like that.
All I'm saying is that there's
no smoke and there's no fire.
Just get the axe!
- Who's in there?
- Hello? Anybody in there?
Everybody needs
to just keep quiet
and stay cool, right?
No, you need to let us go.
What did I just say?
They're about to break down
the door and get us anyway.
- Bring it on!
- Cool it, Nan!
Don't tell me to cool it!
You're the one got us in
this blinkin' mess in the first place!
I didn't know the alarms
would go off!
They didn't go off.
Somebody set them off!
And they were meant to be cut
with the phone lines.
- That wasn't my job.
- Well, it wasn't my job!
OK, stop, alright?
I can fix this.
Hey! You stay put!
Let me talk to them.
I can get them to leave.
No, no, no! Mr Harrington!
No, no, no.
This is the safest thing
for everyone, Pete.
Derrick's right.
So we let the smooth-talker
just 'speed things up' again?
Nan, I'm really sorry
about Smith Street,
but if we get caught,
you're gonna go away for
a lot longer than five years.
Fine!
Let's go, chicken legs.
Right.
Stand back, stand back! OK.
Three, two, one!
Whoa! Ooh!
- Hey, guys.
- Hey!
What's up?
Mr Harrington. Uh...
Hey, is...
Is everything alright?
Oh, sorry, fellas.
That was all on me.
I was trying to heat up
my dinner
on one of these
My First Barbecues.
Got distracted and...
whole thing went up in smoke!
Oh.
So there's no fire?
No. No, nothin' to worry about.
Well, look, usually
there is a call-out fee
for this kind of thing, but...
you did donate all those toys
to the bushfire appeal,
so we'll let it slide.
Ah! Thanks, guys.
Really appreciate it.
Well, have a good night!
OK.
Hey, uh, just...
just one more thing, um...
Is Gladys in tonight?
Just... I got a missed call
from her. I was just...
No.
Sorry, Greg.
I, uh, sent her home early.
OK. Alright.
Have a good night.
Yeah.
- Hey, I'm sorry, man.
- Yeah.
Wasn't a booty call.
It was a butt dial.
What the hell is he doing?!
Why aren't they coming in?
Greg! Greg!
- Come on, up here!
- Help!
- Help!
- Hello!
Ohh!
Help! Come on, up here!
Help! We're up here!
- Help!
- Gladys?
Greg!
Did she swallow a basketball?
You're pregnant!
Help! There's someone
in the building!
They're holding us hostage!
Oh! Oh, my bum!
- No!
- Oh, my God!
- Inside. Inside!
- I'm hit! I'm hit!
- They shot him!
- Shut the door!
How about I shoot you in the
butt and see if you like it?!
Snap out of it!
A bullet in the butt
is hardly lethal.
Where do we go?
This map is useless!
Let's head to the roof.
We can hide in the kangaroo.
Ah! Oh!
You saved me. Thank you!
It's OK. It's OK.
Tell... tell Gladys I love her!
No! You tell her yourself.
I'm applying pressure.
Ahhh!
HQ, this is truck 25. We need
immediate police assistance.
Shots fired at
Harringtons toy store.
I repeat, shots fired!
Oh, my God, Nan! You shot him!
- They're gonna call the cops!
- No.
You shot him when you
screwed this thing up!
- We have to go.
- Yeah?
You gonna bail on me? Again?
I told you there were roadworks
and the lollipop lady
wouldn't wave me through.
You went soft on me
in Smith Street
and you're going soft on me now.
I was 14 years old!
Who makes a teenager
their getaway driver?
Listen, I went away for
a long time because of you.
You wanna make it up to me?
Now's your chance.
You in or you out?
- I'm in.
- Good girl.
Watch these two like hawks.
Nana's in the driver's seat now.
Where are you going?
Huntin'!
More hostages, more cash.
Hey. Hey, you OK?
You OK, Mr Harrington?
The guns are real.
What do you mean?
I just... I didn't think
the guns would be real.
Quickly!
Gotcha!
- You're mine.
- Run!
Go, save yourselves! Ahh!
Come on, Gladys! Come on!
What are you doing, you idiots?
Never leave a man behind.
Leavin'?
Who said anything about leavin'?
Out of the fire
and into the frying Nan.
Let's go, little mice.
OK.
OK, be gentle!
Mr Harrington?
If you didn't think
their guns were real,
why did you help them?
I just... couldn't take a chance.
Found your rats.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God!
Wombat, Brady. Where were you?
Are you two alright?
- Come here.
- We're fine.
- Gladys helped us.
- Gladys.
What are you doing here?
I sent you home.
I was trying to catch
a couple of crims.
Clearly I was after
the wrong ones!
Two kids
and a knocked-up Girl Scout.
We were sweating our tits off
for nothin'!
Smile!
Are you kidding?
Do you know what kind of
jail time you'll get
if anything happens
to those kids?
That's one way of looking at it.
Oh!
Showtime!
Hello, yes? Derrick's phone?
Uh, what is going on?
Why are there children there?
And... and who do
you think you are?
Shut it, Richie Bitch.
Payday's just gone up.
We found ourselves
a couple of extra hostages,
so we figure that's
a bit more work for us.
Ransom's gone up.
400K.
Ohhh!
Terri, pay the money
and end this, please!
I ju... I can't!
I... I...
Still can't? Righto!
We'll start with a two-for-one.
- Whoa, whoa! No, let her go!
- Mr Harrington!
You've got three seconds, Terri.
What's going on?
Guys, are you OK?
- Nan, let her go.
- Nan, she's pregnant.
- This has gone far enough!
- Two.
- No! Gladys!
- No, please!
So this is what it means
to die hard.
Derrick! Derrick!
- One.
- Enough!
It's off.
Put the gun down.
That is an order.
What's off?
The ransom.
Y-you set it up?
That's why you sent us home.
That's why you thought
the guns were fake.
I'm sorry.
No, I'm so, so, so, so sorry.
It was not meant
to end like this.
OK?
I tried to keep the place
running. I really did.
I didn't know what to do.
So your solution
was faking a ransom?
Terri, I know you've hated me
since Dad died.
I got scared to ask
for anything.
And then I got desperate.
And it wasn't supposed
to be dangerous.
You weren't even supposed
to be here.
Right? Then you brought
your friggin' Nan.
Derrick.
It's just supposed to be
a win-win.
Shez gets half,
I get the other half.
And then I was gonna
make things right.
Mate, you're about as dense
as a fully packed cone
if you thought we were ever
gonna split halvesies with you.
Well, that was the deal.
We're criminals, Derrick.
And deals, much like
laws and regulations,
don't actually mean
that much to us.
Shez.
Shez!
You were wrong.
I'm not a good person.
Did you get all that, Terri?
Yeah. You'll get your money.
Ace.
So there's a black ute
parked across the road
from your office
and two rather handsome boys
waiting to escort you here.
A black ute?
Nan, you didn't.
Keep on tying, Sherrin.
I wanna be chuggin' a beer
in Bali on Boxing Day.
Ho-ho-ho-ho-ho!
It's just a scratch.
Gladys is pregnant?
Why didn't she tell me?
I didn't see that comin'.
Look, if she's chosen somebody
else, that's... that's OK.
I just... We just have to
make sure she's safe, OK?
Good evening, boys.
My name's Constable Karen.
I'll be your negotiator
for the evening.
It's time to save
another Christmas.
You work holidays a lot?
Oh! Diwali, Hanukkah,
King's Birthday.
It's all a nightmare.
But you know what?
Christmas is the bloody worst.
What's the sitch?
Uh, the situation is
at least one armed bandit.
He's only got one arm?
No, she's got two.
Oh! Slay, queen! Yes.
She's holding at least
four hostages.
Two kids, one man...
and a pregnant woman.
Wow! Got ourselves a full house,
don't we?
Alright, I'm gonna go warm up.
Thank you very much.
The personable police officer
patrolled the public park
personally.
The personable police officer
patrolled the public park
personally.
Hey, I don't wanna
scare you, but...
they're screwed.
Here. Shez.
Empty the cash registers.
Is everybody OK?
You know, if we just...
do what they say...
Shut up, Derrick!
What were you thinking?
Risking our lives,
bringing those two in here!
Dinosaurs! Yeah!
It's OK, Mr Harrington.
No, it's not, Wombat.
Don't talk to him.
The debt collectors are gonna
take over this place,
leaving you all high and dry.
At least this way
I could pay off the debts,
I could pay you off.
And I could close it down.
You're gonna close down
the store?
Today was our last day.
What?
You're giving up?
Giving up?
I've tried everything, Gladys.
I just can't run this place
as good as my dad could.
I mortgaged my house,
I worked 24/7,
I've taken out every loan
imaginable.
And I still can't get it right.
And what's worse is
I failed you too.
So, yeah.
I've given up.
Hey? Hey. It's OK.
No, it's not.
Where are we gonna live now?
We can find your dad.
We can get him to come back.
No, he's never coming back.
But... but you said...
I know. I... I was wrong.
You're living here?
I had no idea.
Did you know about this?
Do you know what makes this
store so special, Mr Harrington?
It's not the store
or... or the toys. It's...
It's the people. It's...
It's all of us.
It's all of us together.
Harringtons isn't a store.
It's a... it's a family.
And if you're giving up
on the store,
then you're giving up on us.
We have the money.
Bring the hostages
to the front door
so we can facilitate
the handover.
We have the place surrounded,
so don't try anything funny.
Unless that's part of
your negotiations.
Get 'em up.
Oh!
- Come on.
- Get off me!
OK.
Right, here's the deal.
Derrick goes, gets the money,
my accomplices
drive us out of here,
you guys come in
and save the children,
we're all home
for Christmas lunch.
Got it?
Yes, but how do we know
the hostages are safe?
How do I know the money's
in the bag?!
Oh, yeah. Checkmate.
Alright, deal.
Hi.
Hi.
I-I'm sorry.
Look, I don't hate you.
I know you think I just
left when Dad died, but...
I think I was left out
way before that.
What do you mean?
It's not Harrington & Daughters.
Oh, darling,
did you wet yourself?
Don't worry,
I-I do it all the time.
No, her waters broke!
No, no, no,
I actually wet myself.
It's really embarrassing.
She's got a weapon!
Put your gun down!
Put it down.
Step away from the preggo.
Right, that's it! Deal's off.
Grab 'em! Everyone inside.
Don't do anything stupid, toots.
You don't do anything stupid.
Ransoms are the stupid thing.
No, no, she needs to get
to a hospital!
Don't... I take it back.
I'm sorry.
- Derrick!
- Let her go!
You can stand down.
Gonna be here all night.
Ohhh, my boss is gonna kill me!
Screwed up again, did you, Shez?
Hm! Told you she would.
Hi, Uncle Jacko. Uncle Ricko.
Let her go.
- Wait, what's going on?
- Don't you hurt him!
Hold it open! Help me!
Let go of me! Ow!
Oh, my God, the baby's comin'!
No, no, no, it's just a cramp.
I've been having them all day.
Told you it was Braxton Hicks.
She needs to go to a hospital.
Shut up!
Let's go.
Where? They've got the place
surrounded.
- To the roof!
- What?!
We're taking the kangaroo.
Always have a backup plan, Shez.
A little trick I learned
after Smith Street.
From you, actually.
Come ba...
ahhh...
ack.
Hey, darl, just remember,
if you're not pooing,
you're not pushing.
What?
Let's go!
Shez, now!
Shez!
Gladys, Gladys, are you alright?
Gladys, you need to
take it easy.
What's she doing?
They hurt my Greg!
Oh!
She has the power of two humans!
Shh! Shh!
Yeah, here, here!
Oh!
OK. Here, here.
Wait, where are you going?
I let you down, Terri.
I let everyone down.
And now it's time
to make things right.
You all get out of here.
Derrick, wait!
And you wanted to bail!
Maybe that's not
such a bad thing.
- What did you say?
- Nothing.
Oi!
That's not your money.
And what are you gonna
do about it, Derrick?
You're all alone.
Hey!
Got about 50 more of these over
here if you don't shut up!
- What are you doing?
- We're family!
Or were you not listening?
Alright, lock and load.
Fire!
Shez, gimme your gun!
Nan!
Nan, wait!
Ow!
He told us
not to bring real guns.
Oh, my God, are you blinking
kidding me right now?
Stop!
We'll take the back stairs.
Gladys, stay where you are.
Not on your goddamn life! Ohhh!
Come on, come at me.
- I can take him.
- Are you kidding me?
You can't bring an arm
to a nunchucka fight.
- You got a better idea?
- No. But that one stinks.
You stink.
- Now!
- What?
Arggh! Come on!
What are you gonna do,
hit me with your yo-yo?
It's like I said,
you gotta be gentle, right?
Kill him!
I don't want to fight.
I'm a lover, not a fighter,
Sherrin.
Stay down!
Ready!
Release!
- Cheers, Grandma!
- Grab it, grab it!
Whoa! Whoa-oh!
- Whoa!
- Oh!
Terri, stand back, I got this.
Terri?
Ugh!
Ow!
Arggh!
Ooh! Ugh!
Now, stay down, crab boy!
Hey!
Let go of my brother.
- I can't get a clean shot.
- Uh-oh!
Wombat, look at me!
What?
Let her rip.
Ugh!
Wombat!
Arggh!
Run!
Uh-oh, Mama,
time for a lie-down.
Oh!
Ahhh!
Nice tactic,
causing that diversion.
Yeah, diversion.
Is that coming from in here?
Is this a ransom or a rave?
We should probably focus.
Nuh? OK.
- Think fast!
- Whoa!
Give me the money.
I could have used
the cricket bat.
Now, get outta here.
Good girl, Shez!
How's this for a getaway car?
Wow!
Ughhh.
Oh!
Sherrin.
Hey, meathead!
Ugh!
Ugh!
I'm so sorry. Am I fired?
Come on!
Good girl!
Give the bag to Nanna!
No.
Shez.
We're family.
Yeah.
But I'm nothing like you.
I'm out.
Hey, come here!
Shez!
Sweetie!
You were never really in.
Shez!
Oh!
Hey!
Nan, she's getting away!
Would you stop dancing?
Please?
Pfff.
Boring!
- Oh!
- I got it!
- Oh!
- Wait, let me, let me!
Let me. Let me. Oh!
Here, here, I got it, here.
Oh, my God!
We need more manpower!
- Oh!
- What are you doing?!
Let's get a wriggle on!
Oh!
Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho!
Hello, Skippy!
Stop!
What are you doing?!
You can't stop me, Derrick!
Derrick!
Just leave it!
I can't!
Damn it!
- No! Don't!
- I'm coming, I'm coming!
You're running out of room!
- Oh!
- Come on!
Hey, let go!
No!
OK, on three.
One, two, three!
Stop it!
Keep going, we've got her!
Arggh!
No, no. It's OK.
Stop her, please!
You can't all come to Bali
with me!
I think she's crowning!
- I've still got pants on!
- What does crowning even mean?
I don't know!
Gladys! Gladys, Gladys, Gladys!
Go back!
- Derrick
- What?
Just let it go.
Derrick, no!
Merry Christmas, chumps!
Oh-ho, we're doing this!
If that's the bad guys
I'm in a lot of trouble.
Merry Christmas!
I'm the Nan of the world!
I'm sorry, everyone.
Are you kidding?
I'm the one
who needs to apologise.
Also, Gladys...
I think you're having a baby.
Yes.
Me too.
Arggh!
We just need to get to the door.
- There's an ambulance outside.
- Ow, my hand.
- No, no. It's coming!
- I'll get the blanket.
- Wombat, you get all them.
- No, stay up, stay up!
Pop her down.
I can't do it.
- I can't do it!
- Snap out of it!
The kid's gonna love you.
Oh! OK, alright, Gladys,
you're gonna need to push.
Oh, no, somebody call Greg!
- Glad-wrap!
- Let's go!
Bali must be there
Oh, it's just got to be there
I never
Never been to Bali
I don't wanna live
in that place...
Must be something to eat
in here.
What's this?
"Greg-Nog."
Oh, yuck!
That was the most beautiful
birth I've ever seen.
Um, are you OK?
- Are you OK?
- Yeah.
I'm OK. Are you?
- You got shot.
- Oh, yeah. Yeah.
They said it was just a graze,
but the pain, Gladys...
Oh, I can't describe it.
I can't imagine.
Yeah.
Hey, uh...
Oh, sh-sh-sh-sh.
- Shh.
- Congratulations.
Congratulations to you
and... and... and, um...
You, you idiot.
- Me?
- Yeah.
I'm a... I'm a... I'm a dad?
Yeah!
I'm sorry, Greg, I...
I tried to tell you,
but whenever we went to meet up,
I'd see you sitting in the cafe
with a babycino
and I'd just panic.
- Why?
- I was scared.
But recently, I've been given
some great advice
from two very wise people.
I'm... I'm scared too.
- Really?
- Yes, yes.
Maybe we can be scared together.
- Oh!
- Yuck!
Gross!
I knew it. Christmas booty call.
Who are you?
What's a booty call?
Thank you.
For... for what?
We didn't...
we didn't get the money.
For reminding me who I was
when I'd forgotten.
I'm really sorry, Pete.
This should never have happened.
You're an amazing kid.
And an even better brother.
Merry Christmas.
Where are you going?
Hand myself in.
- You're what?
- It's the right thing to do.
No, but no-one knows!
No-one knows anything.
Mr Harrington, we can pin
this whole thing on Nan.
- Oh, Pete.
- Please, come on.
And in the end
she did take the money,
so it kinda was
a real hostage situation.
Yeah, that I planned!
I put us all in danger
and I stole money
from my sister.
- Yeah, that was...
- Then give it back.
Shez.
What are you doing?
Hiding from the cops.
This is for you.
Wha...
I switched it before Nan
pushed me into this pit.
Oh, my God!
Why didn't you keep it?
I don't know.
Didn't feel right.
Never does, actually.
What do you say? We won't say
anything if you don't.
Oi, get away from that woman!
She's the other one, yeah?
No, no, this is...
This is another one
of the hostages.
No, I saw you. You were pushing
around the pregnant one.
I saw you outside.
Yes, she was forced to do that
by Nan.
- Nan!
- And I have a disability.
Do you really think I could
pull off a hostage situation?
Pff! Didn't stop
the Rolling Assassin.
13 murders
and we still can't find him.
Or his wheelchair.
Well, um... well,
she's also my girlfriend.
Pfff! No.
I mean, I didn't realise
we were official yet, babe.
But yeah, I came to surprise him
at work.
You... Him? You're dating him?
You bet.
Him?
Oh. Alright, get a room.
Jeepers creepers.
Well, that story checks out.
Alright, um, we'll get
a statement from you.
Um, uh...
Enjoy your evening.
See you guys later.
'Bye, Sherrin.
Oh!
These two have just told me
that...
So this is Stockholm syndrome?
OK, well, it's my understanding
that these two have been living
here without a guardian.
That's not true.
Yeah, but Pete's our guardian.
Yes, I'm the guardian.
You?
- How old are you, Romeo?
- I'm... nearly...
Actually, they're staying
with me.
I'm the guardian.
Right, OK.
Well, yep.
What?
You know, a brave young man
once told me
Harringtons isn't just
a toy store...
it's a family.
What do I need to sign?
What, for three kids?
A big cheque.
Honestly, that's not really
my department,
but I'll make some calls, yeah.
My God, thank you,
thank you, Mr Harrington.
Hey, it's the least I can do.
Oh, come here, you two.
- Are you alright?
- Yeah, we're great.
You used to be so cute.
What happened?
I inherited a toy store.
You know,
Dad always thought you were
the family genius.
He didn't leave you
out of the store, Terri.
He freed you to do bigger
and better things.
I mean, I never thought
you wanted it.
I wanted what it meant.
There's a reason my first
video game was about a toy shop.
You know, Dad would have wanted
you to make this place your own.
It doesn't have to be
a memorial.
This is yours.
What?!
How?
And so is the store.
If you want it.
Keep it.
- Consider it my buy-in.
- But...
You clearly need
some professional guidance
around here,
or someone who can negotiate,
at the very least.
You know, I could be
a silent partner.
You know what?
I've got a better idea.
Ooh-hoo, Skip.
Look what we've got!
What's this?
Oh, Sherrin, what have you done?
No!
No!
This isn't even the right way
to Bali!
And bob's your uncle -
the toy store was saved.
Ah!
And everything worked out well
in the end.
This one's mine.
Pete, Brady and Wombat's
off-the-grid storeroom
got a makeover.
Merry Christmas!
And became their very own place
to call home.
And it was very close
to Pete's work.
Derrick knew he still had a bit
of making up to do,
so he gave every member
of the Harrington family
their own Christmas surprise.
Oh...
Pete got a promotion
to assistant store manager
and Harringtons' resident Santa.
That's a big one.
And my girl Terri
became a business partner
with her video games centrestage
now that she was finally home.
one, go!
You see, Derrick always thought
that Harringtons
was a magical wonderland
because of the toys
in the store.
But after
that fateful Christmas,
what he realised
was that the magic
really came from the people
that he had around him,
who loved the store
as much as he did.
A dream aloud
So stay there
'Cause I'll be
coming over...
Because it wasn't just a store,
it was a family and it was home.
And once he learnt that, the
place was never empty again.
Look, kid, it's Christmas Eve.
I'm feeling generous,
and that is why I'm gonna let
you off with just a warning.
I don't get it.
Kid, we've been here
for an hour and a half.
- What don't you get?
- I don't know.
Oh, would you, um...
would you be interested in
any of the Greg-Nog?
- He's 10!
- Gross.
- Oh, maybe his parents?
- Uh, not now.
- OK, OK, OK. I gotta go.
- 'Bye, Greginor.
'Bye, little Gladdy!
- Oh, 'bye!
- 'Bye!
- Ahhh!
- Be good for Daddy!
We all make mistakes.
True magic comes from people,
not stealing this stethoscope.
It was for a medical emergency.
It's a toy!
Yo, Gladdo, I caught this kid
stealing a video game.
Oh! Good on you, Shez.
Maybe don't pull her
by the hair, though.
- Can I go now?
- No.
'Cause you clearly haven't
gotten the message.
Alright, sit down and shut up.
Are you ready?
Good, because I'm about to
tell you a story.
Kissing under...
Pete!
He never even got to learn
how to stocktake!
Same thing, but hotter.
Like, cough sexy.
Maybe let's not cough at all.
It's a bit COVID vibe.
Alright.
Ain't good or bad...
I need immediate assistance
in locating me a hot chocky.
I'm just glad...
Yummy.
Oh!
You good?
Yeah.
Is this a ransom, or, like,
a blue light disco?
Ho...
Sleepless
Heavenly...
I don't know the words.
Sorry.
- Save yourself!
- Oh, OK. OK.
Save yourself! Go!
Go!
Oh, no, take me too! Come back!
Arggh!
Arggh, that hurts so much!
It's unfair.
Life's unfair.
Your face is unfair.
Like a stranger...
That is a banger.
I'm just sayin'.
- It is pretty catchy.
- It is.
It's a ransom...
Let go of her!
Ohhh!
Tell me a joke...
That song...
Let's toast to all...
Uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh...
Come on, Christmas...
Aroo!
So this is what it means
to die hard.
So this is what
it means to die hard!
So this is what it means
to die hard.
Than to have
A happy Christmas with you
Ooh-hoo-hoo
All our family and friends
A happy Christmas with you
Don't want this story
To end.