Coffin Rock (2009) Movie Script
II'
II'
- Hello, kids.
- Ah.
Come on, you bastard.
That's better.
That's better.
Come on.
Aw.
You're just a cursed man,
Roberto.
- God, you're an idiot
sometimes.
- What's that?
- It's a fish.
- Yeah, righto, mate.
I'll see ya.
- Mate, that wife of yours
gets hungry,
send her my way, mate.
I.m joking...
- You want to be, mate.
Now, you just be there on time.
- Don't think he thought
that was very funny.
II'
II'
- It was supposed to be here
at 10:00, ha.
Of course.
Bella.
- Oi!
- No, but our discount-
- Oi!
- Hello, honey.
How are you?
- I've got no office key.
Can I dump my stuff here
for a bit?
- Beep beep?
- Yeah, beep beep.
- Oh, of course.
No problem.
- Hello.
- Beep beep?
- Beep beep
- Everything in order?
- Well, it is my end.
- Are you still going tomorrow?
See ya.
- See ya.
II'
- I The Way you look at me J'
I There's no mistakable
I My heart goes boom for you J'
I And there's no fain' it Julie
I How can {resist J'
I The Wicked look
in your eye? J'
I There's no hope
in restraining J'
I It's just night
that's remaining J'
I Devilish angel J'
- Shoo!
- Whoa-ho.
- Yeah, baby!
Shoo!
- Oh, yeah.
- Send your swimming things
to me, sweetheart.
Ooh.
Yeah, baby.
Hey, hey.
- Oh, no, swim your boys
to my lovely,
and let's bake us a peanut!
- I got to clean the fish, mate.
- The eggs are cooking, babe.
Give us your man fat,
and we'll make us some people!
- I When you look at me J'
I My heart... J'
- You know it's tomorrow
we're going?
Hey, no one knows.
. Yep...
- Ooh, arr, arr, rah, rah,
rah, rah, rah, rah.
Uh, hum, hum, mmm, mmm, mmm.
Uh, hum, hum, mmm, mmm...
- Stop it.
- I There is nobody J'
I That Id rather be with now Julie
II'
- So no sign of Benny?
- Oh, he's hopeless.
- He wants to screw your woman,
Robbie.
- Yeah, well he's testing
my patience.
- Ah, come on, mate.
It's the old bull, young bull
going on there.
- Old?
- Yeah, old.
- Thanks, mate.
- Oh, don't worry, Rob.
I don't care what they say.
I think you're way more
than half man.
Oh, he's 20% at least.
- When was the last time
you did something nice
for your wife, Tony'?
- I would say about 1973.
- No.
Last night.
- Out, both of you.
- We just got here.
- Now.
- Come on, mate.
- Take those coffee cups back.
See ya, boys.
- See you later.
- See ya, fellas.
- Ready?
- Hey, uh, you want to give
the old-fashioned way a shake?
- Not really.
- Come on.
- No.
- Sweetheart, come on.
The butter's boiling, baby.
- Oh, that's gross!
- Oh, it's radioactive.
- Oh.
No, we're going to be late, hon.
We're going to be-
- Won't take a minute.
- I know it won't take a minute.
What are you wearing?
I put out your new shirt.
And those jeans have got
holes in them.
- Hey!
Where's your mummy?
Hey?
Where's Mum?
. He)'...
- She was just left on the side
of the road,
yeah, with cars coming past.
Can you just look after her?
That would be a great idea,
wouldn't it?
- Jess.
- Just let her wander round
as much as she likes.
- Jess.
- It's not fair.
II'
- Ben Davis?
Hi, Ben.
Come through.
- Robert Townsend?
- Yes.
Honey, no.
- I can help.
- No, no.
Just...no.
Okay?
- How are you?
- How are ya?
- Good.
Come on through.
- Honey, come on.
- Ooh.
How'd you go?
- Oh, it was wonderful.
Yeah, wonderful.
Come on.
- So will they mail us
the results?
- Oh, yeah.
- They'll come in the post?
- Yep.
- Why didn't they give them
to you straight away?
How long does it take?
- I don't know.
I don't know if I should.
Come on.
Just do it.
Just get up and do it.
You gonna get up?
Don't worry, mate.
She's gonna love you.
She's gonna absolutely love ya.
II'
- Hello.
- Hello.
- You all right there?
- I'm-I'm actually looking
for work.
Buzzing metropolis, this one.
Try down at the cray factory.
Really tall Maltese guy, Tony.
. Ton)'...
You shouldn't be here, Evan.
Just go home.
- How're you going there, boy?
Not too hard for you?
- No, it's fine.
Thanks.
. Ga)'...
- You're a fucking idiot!
Jesus Christ!
Fuck.
Fuck, you're some kind
of sucking' idiot.
Hello.
- Was that you before?
- Uh, no.
- No?
- No.
- Right.
$0 you got your job, then?
- Yeah.
- Well, come in.
It's all right.
- Thanks.
Thank you.
I, uh-
I found this outside.
Um...a nest.
- Oh, wow.
- Yeah, yeah.
It was empty.
- Oh.
- I like the way
the feathers in there...
sorry...
the feathers in there, like...
I'm Evan, by the way.
- Jess.
- Jess.
- Wow.
It's beautiful.
- No, you keep that.
- Really?
- A gift from me to you.
- Wouldn't that be
kind of weird?
- Probably.
But that's fine,
'cause I get it a lot,
the weird thing, so...
- Oh.
Thanks.
- Uh, I'd better get back,
um, to work.
So...see you tomorrow.
All right.
- Okay.
- See ya.
Oi!
Where's my letter, woman?
- Hey, I just deliver them
I don't write them.
I'll see you in the pub
tomorrow night.
- Uh, how's those squaddies?
- Stinky.
- Stinky.
I mean, you know,
it's not so stinky
that I'd say no to a lift home.
You haven't met my husband,
have you?
- Come on,
I've got all these things.
It's, uh-it's just up the road.
Look, I'll-I'll drive.
- Have you even got a license?
- Yes, officer?
Well, are you going to get out?
- All right.
Okay.
Oh, come inside.
I, uh...
got something to show ya.
- It's not what you think.
Come on.
- I'm sure it's not.
I'm going home.
- Great.
She thinks
I'm some sort of weirdo.
Bye, Evan.
- Look at you, eh?
Hey.
You hungry?
Come on, swallow.
Hey.
Oh, look at that.
Look at that.
- A what?
- A bird's nest.
I think he's a weirdo.
- Good-looking weirdo?
- Yeah.
Young.
- Young?
Well, why don't we adopt him?
Yeah, we don't have
to have a kid.
We can just have him.
- I think the letter's going
to come tomorrow.
- There're a lot of tests.
I think it's going to be weeks.
- It's pretty awful, isn't it,
jerking off into a cup
and sucking out eggs,
squeezing it all back in again?
It's not normal, really.
Not natural.
- Mm.
- But is it worth it?
- Mm.
- I mean,
we've got to try at least.
Rob?
- Rob?
. Yep...
Just seems wrong.
- Wrong?
Rob-
- Don't worry.
The tests are going to come back
jet-powered.
Super sperm.
Super swimmers.
- Negative.
Negative.
Negative.
Negative.
Negative, negative, negative.
Oh!
Negative.
Jet-powered.
- Night, babe.
- Night, Rob.
Any mail?
- No.
- Nothing?
- Nope.
- Do you want me to open it?
- No.
- Ooh, come on, big man.
Let's see what you're made of.
Babe, whatever it says,
it's okay.
- Then we don't need to open it,
do we?
- I know it's scary, babe.
- It's not scary.
It's ridiculous is what it is.
It's stupid.
- But we've got a problem,
and this is a way to fix it.
- I don't need fixing!
- No, we, dickhead.
We need fixing.
- That's not what you meant.
It's not what you meant!
- No, you can tell what I meant
by the words that I said.
- That's right.
And any kid'll do.
You just cook one up
in your lab
or order one from our catalog,
maybe go exotic with Korean
or Sudanese
or just grab one off the street,
you fucking head case!
- Liar!
- Oh, what would you call it,
snatching a kiddie
from its mother!
- You said you wanted this!
- I do!
- Oh, bullshit!
Keep your fucking letter!
- Of course he does.
- No, no.
All mouth, no trousers.
- Oh, my God.
Oh, my God, I love this song.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
- Yeah, fuck it!
II'
- Costello me J'
I Why'd you have to haunt
my dreams I
I So clearly I
- I I said I don't I
I Want you coin'
round here no more I
I Please, trickster I
I No need to settle I
I We'll call it a drawl
II'
II'
- Of course, there's nothing
wrong with your pipes.
- Medically certified
and fully operational.
Standing by.
Here's a perfectly healthy
35-year-old
with the perfect man,
except for the fact
that out of a 100 billion,
he hasn't got
a single fucking boy
that can swim straight.
- Oh, you don't actually know
that.
- No?
15 months of synchronized sex,
sweetheart.
I know.
Cheers.
- J' She's got the best damn
eyes I've seen J'
J' She's got the best
damn eyes I've seen J'
- Come on, you bastard,
or I'll boil you alive!
II'
I She's got the best damn lips
I've seen I
I She's got the best
damn lips I've seen I
- Okay.
Come on!
- Well, you want me,
I'll do it!
Come on!
II'
- Benny!
- Jess.
II'
Jess.
II'
- Here you go, mate.
Hey, don't worry about it,
all right?
II'
II'
Genius!
. He)'...
- Oh.
Perfect.
Just perfect!
- Are you okay?
- Oh, yeah.
Evan, I'm great.
I'm fantastic.
Oh, God.
- I, uh-I wanted you
to meet someone.
- Oh, my...
- Jess, this is Biggie.
Biggie, this is Jess.
- Oh, my God.
Hello.
Oh!
- Come on, Biggie.
And you thought I was a weirdo.
- Oh, baby, come out.
Let me see you.
. He)'...
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
Come here.
It's okay.
It's okay.
It's okay.
Hey, hey.
Come here.
Hey. He)'...
Ah.
Stop.
- Wait, stop!
Stop!
Stop!
- Stop!
Oh, God.
- Oh.
- Evan wouldn't be
my first choice,
but then,
I wasn't there, was I?
- Oh, God.
- Come on in, yeah?
Come on.
Hey, I'm sorry, okay?
Didn't mean you to see that,
but you did.
Man, that was good.
- Hi.
- Hi.
II'
- Rob...
- No, no, no.
My fault.
- I love you.
- It's okay.
We'll get there.
- What was that?
What was I
Who the fuck
does she think she is?
Who the fuck does...
Who the fuck does she think
she is, Big?
You were there, eh?
What the fuck
do I look like, eh?
A sucking' idiot?
Fuck!
Fuck!
You saw them
in the fucking window,
and you did
absolutely fucking nothing.
I do everything for you, Biggie.
Fucking everything.
And you give me nothing!
Why didn't you help me?
I fucking feed you!
I give you a sucking' place
to live!
And you give me nothing!
Nothing!
You fucking piece of shit!
- You fucking piece
of fucking shit.
Fuck you!
Where's Biggie?
Biggie?
Biggie.
Why didn't you help me?
Biggie.
- I don't want you here, Benny.
You think you can play around
with my missus?
Fuck off.
You're sacked.
- You have no idea
what's going on, do ya?
- You stay well away
from my wife, mate.
- Benny.
- Oh, God, great.
Yeah, here's the other one.
- What did you tell him?
Yeah, what do you think
I'm gonna do, eh?
Say, "Yeah, Rob, I saw Jess"?
I Nah nah-nah nah nah-nah I
Fuck you.
- Good morning.
- Is it'?
- Come inside.
- Let's talk here.
- Okay.
Evan, uh, um...
you're very nice.
But we're not having
an affair, okay?
- Oh, having an affair?
- I'm sorry if I misled you.
But it...
I was...
- So you're saying it was
an accident?
Like slipping on a banana peel.
Like, "Oh, whoops,
oh, my clothes exploded off."
Is that what you're saying?
- Keep your voice down.
- Come away with me.
- Oh, for God's sake.
Get inside.
You've got this all wrong, okay?
You've just got it wrong!
- I can deal with Rob, okay?
It's fine.
- What is it that you think
is going to happen?
- Well, I think he's probably
going to be a little bit upset,
don't you, eh?
The answer's no.
I'm saying no.
So I'm going now,
and I think it's
probably a good idea
if you did as well.
- Cool.
Where are we going?
- Please don't.
Please don't do this.
- I'm just having a joke, Jess.
- Yeah.
- Hey, hey, hey.
- Oh, God!
- Look, Jess, it's gonna come
out at some point.
- No, this never comes out.
Never.
- Come here.
Come here.
- Let go.
Let go.
- Come here.
- No!
- You coming out of there, babe?
You okay?
- Yeah, yeah, all good.
Screw the bitch.
Yeah.
No, it's a-
it's a caravan.
Well, she comes around
all the time.
She's never said anything.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, no, she's, uh-
she's great.
Yeah.
Oh, no, she's, uh...
she's taught me more things
than you did
when I was younger.
Yeah, no, she's, uh-
she's Wild.
She's Wild, Dad.
Yeah, no.
It's all good.
Everything's all good.
She's got an old boyfriend
hanging around, though.
II'
- What's that?
What is it?
- They're not always accurate.
- You're kidding me.
Two lines.
That's two lines-
That's good, right, two lines?
Come on, baby!
Oh, yeah!
I did it.
L-well, we did it, you know.
Two lines.
Can I have your attention!
Please everybody, listen up!
- Rob! No!
- No, no, please, please,
please, don't tell anybody.
- Why, why, why?
- It's too early.
What if something goes wrong?
- What could go wrong?
- Rob.
Don't tell anyone, okay?
Just not the boys.
No one.
Please.
Please?
Please?
- Okay, okay.
I won't-I won't-
I won't tell anyone
- So you're telling me
there's no Way I can find out
Without danger to the baby?
No, no, that's fine.
Thank you for your help.
Oh, hi.
It's Jessie Willis speaking.
My husband, Robert Townsend,
came and gave you a sample
a few Weeks ago.
He's away on business.
But I'm his Wife.
I under-I understand.
I understand.
Thank you for your help.
And I'll get him to call you
when he gets back.
- "Eve."
You like "Eve," honey?
"Charlotte."
"Charlotte."
That's my favorite so far,
"Charlotte," for a girl.
I love "Charlotte."
I've always liked "Charlotte."
"Charlie" is good for a boy
or a girl, huh?
- You stay away from me.
- Ha ha ha!
You're pregnant!
I'm so excited!
Shoo-hew-hew!
Oh, my God.
I can't believe it!
How come you didn't tell me?
- Oh, yeah.
- My God!
Get us some glasses,
ya big-mouthed bastard.
- They said
they wouldn't tell anyone.
- Shoo-hew-hew!
Are you excited?
Can you believe it?
I can't believe it!
- I can believe it.
- Just one.
Just last one, little baby one.
Just a little one.
Come on, little baby one.
- Little baby one for the baby.
Okay.
- Maybe just-
just, like, a little bit.
- Here we go.
- Shoo!
- Well, you're definitely
pregnant.
- There are, um, options?
- Yes.
The first step would be
to speak to a counselor.
- Can I do it today?
What about that pill?
- We can't do any kinds
of terminations
until you're five weeks.
Even if you do go ahead,
you'll need to wait
a couple of weeks.
Okay?
Surprise!
- Congratulations!
- Here's your Mum.
- Ay!
- Hooray!
- Look who's here.
- Oh.
- Congratulations.
Are you nervous?
- Congratulations.
- Jess!
It's Mum.
Hooray!
- Hi.
Oh, I got a heart attack.
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, everybody's here.
I think you should go,
don't you?
- You're the mother
of my child, Jess.
- That is not true.
- Oh, yeah, it is, actually,
because the mother of your child
has to be someone
that you're in love with,
and if you stop to think
about it for just one second...
one second...
I think you might realize
that you love me too.
- I want you to go.
- You want me to go?
- Yes.
- You want me to go?
- Yes.
- Okay, negative,
negative, negative,
negative, negative, negative.
- You've been in my house.
You can't do this.
- You did it.
You did it.
I'm the father of your child,
so you'd better
fucking wake up to it.
- And you better sucking-
- Jess?
- It's-it's all right.
- Hello.
I'm Evan.
- It's fine.
II'
- Well, DA, she's, uh-
she's due in March.
You're gonna be a-
a grandpa.
What's that?
Of course it's true.
I have a job.
You're sucking' joking with me?
Um, I'm telling you,
you're going to be
a sucking' grandfather.
I'm gonna be a sucking' father,
and you're asking me
if I've got a job.
A sucking' job!
Are you sucking' joking, DA?
I've got a woman
that I sucking' love,
a job, a sucking' house,
and now a sucking' baby.
It's more than
you ever fuckin' did,
you fuckin' cripple!
Fuck you, DA.
I love you, DA.
- Robert?
- Uh-oh.
- What?
- Whenever you call me Robert,
something bad's going to happen.
What's wrong, baby?
Hmm?
You angry with me?
I'm sorry I told everyone.
It was an accident.
- Can we go to the city
for a while and go see your Mum?
' Hmm?
- I just-I just want
to get away for a little bit
- Hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Just give me a couple of days
to get things organized.
- Really?
- Sure, baby.
Did you like the party?
- Yeah, it was great.
- Nice party.
I was, uh-
I was there last night.
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah, I had to leave early,
though.
Sorry.
Evan.
- Bird's nest guy.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- Right.
I'm having a kid too, you know.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
Um...
Just getting everything
together, you know.
- Yeah.
So what's all this
about the bird's nest, mate?
I'm calling the police.
I'm calling the police.
They're going to come
and get you.
They're gonna-
they're gonna...
Hello?
- What do you require,
police, fire, or ambulance?
What do you require...
- Haah.
He's a kid.
I'm crazy.
- Aw, Jess.
- I'm so stupid!
He thinks he's the father.
It's just a fucking nightmare.
- Oh, my...
- I don't know what to do.
I don't know what to do.
I'm such an idiot!
- Oh, God!
Hey, hey, hey-
Hey.
- What am I going to do?
- Just calm down.
Is he dangerous?
- I don't know!
I don't know.
- Well, can't you just ask Rob
for the fucking letter?
- How can I ask him
for the letter?
How can I ask him
for the letter now?
- All right, all right,
just calm down.
Don't shout; don't shout.
It's all right.
- Sorry.
I'm sorry.
Oh, shit.
. He)'...
Check this out.
What do you think?
What's the matter?
- It's just the hormones.
- I got to go
I'll drive you.
I'll just get my keys.
- Wait, wait, wait.
Is it Benny?
- No.
- You all right?
- Yeah, it's all good.
- Are you sure?
- Yeah.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
- Here.
This came for you.
Hand-delivered, I guess.
- Oh, it's um, probably
some baby thing, yeah.
I'll be back soon.
- Yeah.
II'
- Oh, shite.
What do you think?
- There's no baby, Evan.
I got rid of it.
Today.
So that's it.
It's fucking over.
- Today?
- Yeah.
- Today?
Where do you think I got
the fuckin' pictures from, Jess?
We met at the fuckin'
IVF clinic.
Hmm?
You haven't had the suck
at three weeks.
You're a fuckin' liar.
- I'm not lying.
- Yeah, you fucking are, Jess,
'cause that's
what you fuckin' do.
You lie, and you cheat,
and you cheat,
and you fuckin' lie.
You're a dirty fuckin'
slut liar, Jess.
- Why did you follow me?
- 'Cause you're carrying
my fuckin' child!
- No!
- Yes, you fuckin' are!
- No, I am not!
- Yes, you fuckin' are!
Fuck off!
Fuck off.
- Get the fuck off.
It's mine, Jess.
If you don't want it, fine.
Give it the fuck back!
Get the fuck down and give it!
Give it!
Give it!
Fuck!
- Jess.
Benny didn't touch you, did he?
- No.
II'
Rob?
Rob!
Oh.
I've packed your bags
and rung your Mum.
- Good.
- Ready to go?
- Nearly, yeah.
Good on you, mate.
- Hi, Jess.
- Evan's going to be working
a couple of days
while we're away.
- Just answering phones
and stuff.
- I thought you worked
at Tony's.
- Quota's filled.
Season's over.
- Right.
- Don't worry.
The boys'll keep an eye on him.
- You hungry?
- Can we go now?
- Not just yet, honey.
I've gotta-
- I want to go now, Rob!
- Can't live with 'em,
can't shoot 'em, eh?
- We'll talk later, mate.
- Bye, Jess.
Bye, Robbie.
- No, Rob, I...
- Yes, honey.
Ten minutes.
- All right.
- I've gotta get
the place sorted.
- What can I do?
- Nothing.
Just relax.
II'
- Two-hour drive.
I'm taking a leak.
Oh, shit!
- Rob!
- Don't come in here.
Don't come in here!
- Oh!
- Get out!
Get out!
- Get it out!
- Who was it?
- Get it out!
- I'll fix it!
I'll fix it!
I'll fix
your fuckin' boyfriend.
Hey.
- Oh, sh-No, Rob,
you've got to listen to me.
- Get off.
I'm going fishing.
- It's mine, DA.
Don't say that.
Don't say that.
Don't say that.
Don't say-
Don't say that.
- Jess!
- Don't say that, DA.
It's mine, DA.
Yes, it is.
Yes, it is!
Yes, it is, DA!
Don't say that!
Don't say-
Don't say that.
- Jess!
- Shut up!
Shut up!
Shut up!
Shut up!
Shut up!
It's mine.
It's mine, DA!
Shut up.
Shut up.
- Jess?
- What's that?
Wha...
What'd you-
What you'd s...
He didn't say anything.
- Nothing?
- Nothing.
Do you want to speak to my DA?
Speak to my DA.
It's okay.
Just say hello.
Say hello.
Say hello!
Say hello!
- Hello?
Oh.
Oh, God.
- Dad, you still there?
- No.
- Are you still there, DA?
Yeah, it's probably because
it's a long distance line, DA.
Yeah.
Hold on.
Hold on.
I'll put you back onto her.
Wait there a second.
Come on, here she is.
Here she is.
Oh, yeah, that's much better,
DA, yeah.
- I never touched her, you know?
- Oh, and you never wanted to,
either.
- Same night Rob comes in
looking for her at the bar,
I seen her in her little office,
humping away.
- Oh, yeah?
What were you doing there, eh?
- I did nothing.
- Yeah, well, you put a dead roof
in their baby's cot.
Fuck's sake.
- No, no, no, no.
- What do you mean?
- Rob?
Rob.
Mother's house, fishing.
Mother's house.
- Fishing, mate.
- Fishing.
Snapper?
- Just a bit of peace
and quiet, really.
- That your boat?
. Yep...
- Robbie!
- Sorry, mate,
we got a full load.
- Hello, Evan.
. Ton)'...
- You didn't hurt him too bad,
did you?
- Just go, mate.
- You coming?
- Uh, no, I, uh...
- So what are you doing here?
- He's helping out in the shop.
- We've got plenty of room, eh?
- I can't-I gotta...
- Hey, Evan, on the crate.
Don't be a girlie boy.
Come on!
- Megs, are you there?
Can you pick up?
Please?
I'm going to tell him.
I'm going to tell Rob, so...
I'll be around at your place
a bit later.
- Jess to Mother Goose.
Jess to Mother Goose.
Are you there, Rob?
Rob, are you there?
Jess to Mother Goose.
Jess to Mother Goose.
Rob, pick up.
Honey, can you switch to 31?
Rob, can you pick up?
. He)'...
Get outta there.
Hey.
That's a good one.
You have to put the line
in the water if you want
to catch a fish, Evan.
II'
I had a friend
who was gay once.
He used to...you know?
- Eh'?
- You know.
. Ton)'...
- What?
- About the fist.
- Are you joking?
- Knock it off, you guys.
- I suppose it's an act of love,
like any other, eh?
Evan, I want to know something.
When you are elbow-deep,
do you look into his eyes
and then you say,
"I really love you"?
Aah!
- Are you fucking joking now?
You fuck!
- What the fuck's
the matter with you'?
Evan, put it down.
- Huh?
- Put it down!
- Huh?
- Quit that, you fuckin' idiot!
Give me your hand.
- Fine.
Yeah, fine.
I'm fucking gay-
I'm gay.
- Robbie.
Pull!
- Come on.
- I'm fucking-
I'm gay.
Yes.
Sorry, sorry.
Fucking I'm gay.
Right then.
That's me.
That's-that's me.
That's me in a nutshell.
That's me.
I'm fuckin' gay, am I?
- You're stupid!
You're boring!
- I'll show you fucking gay.
- Look at him.
That's no tough.
That's no-
- I'm fuckin' gay, am I?
You fuck!
Fuck ya!
Ehh, ehh.
Mmm.
Mmm-mmm.
Mmm.
Is that gay enough for ya?
- It's not gonna work out,
Evan.
You at the shop.
- Why?
Hmm?
- Just fuck off, Evan.
- I fucked your wife!
I...
I fucked her good
I'd do it again,
and you know I could.
Mmm.
- Evan!
Evan!
- Aah! Aah!
- You're all right.
You're all right!
- You're all right.
I've got ya, mate.
You're all right.
- It was Evan.
- I know, mate.
I know.
- With Jess.
It was Evan.
Oh!
- Are you kidding me?
You're fucking kidding me!
I want to hear you say it.
Go on, say it!
Say it, say it!
Say it!
Go on, say it!
You say it,
or I'll fucking kill you.
Just say it.
- I'm just so sorry.
- You're sorry?
That's our baby.
No! No!
No! No! No!
I'll go with you!
- Get off him!
- I'll do anything.
I'll go with you.
I promise.
I promise.
I'll go with you.
- He'll come after us.
- If he dies,
the police will come after us.
- Get in the car.
Get in the fucking car!
Shut up!
Shut up!
- Oh, no, no.
- Shut up!
Shut up, Jess!
- Oh, my God,
what have you done?
- Shut up!
Shut up!
- Hey, Rob.
II'
The car's not here, mate.
She's not here.
- Jess.
Jess!
Bastard.
Aw, sh...
Get-get her out, mate.
Let's get her outside.
Come on.
You got her?
- Yeah, I got her.
- Lay her on the ground.
Put her down.
- Hey.
That's it.
HEY-
HEY...
It's all right, girl.
- Hang in there.
- Oi, Rob!
Rob!
Yeah, we-we-
yeah, we need an ambulance.
- It's all right.
It's all right, darling.
It's all right.
Hey, hey, hey.
It's all right.
It's all right.
It's all right.
It's all right.
Georgie's here.
Georgie's here.
Hey.
- Come on.
It's all right.
- What's the matter?
- I'm pregnant!
- Okay.
- Ugh.
- Jess, you...
Jess!
- Jess!
- Jess!
Jess!
- Oh, shit.
Shit, shit.
Oh, fuck!
- Jess.
- In the glove box.
Glove box.
- Oh!
Oh.
Are you feeling better?
- I'll drive, then.
I just-I don't know how to...
how to pretend
it never happened, you know.
I mean, you make commitments;
You make promises.
I mean, I did.
I fucking-
I certainly did.
I did everything right.
Everything!
You, what am I supposed to do
with you, eh?
Look at you.
His hands, his...
What's that?
Hmm?
What's that?
- It's nothing.
- What is it?
- It's nothing.
- Nothin'.
That's not fuckin' nothin'.
That's another problem, Jess.
Shite.
Jess, you keep throwing
these problems at me.
It's not my fault.
Is it?
Hmm?
Hello?
Am I doing all the talking here,
Jess?
Hello?
Hmm?
Answer me this, Jess.
Imagine you're me, okay?
What do you do with you, Jess?
Hmm?
What's the answer?
Hmm?
You're absolutely right, Jess.
You're absolutely right.
There is no answer,
because it's an impossible
fucking situation!
But we go to do something,
don't we, eh?
We got to do something,
so we better do it.
Better just do it
Do it! Do it!
Do it! Do it!
Fucking-
Aah!
II'
I'm so sorry, babe.
I don't know what happened.
You-you...
You got to forgive me.
I'm so...
I'm so tired.
I'm so tired.
- It's okay.
It's okay.
It's okay.
Go to sleep.
Oi!
- Fuck.
"Aah!
- Oh.
Oh.
II'
- Come on.
II'
"Aah!
II'
II'
II'
II'
- Hello, kids.
- Ah.
Come on, you bastard.
That's better.
That's better.
Come on.
Aw.
You're just a cursed man,
Roberto.
- God, you're an idiot
sometimes.
- What's that?
- It's a fish.
- Yeah, righto, mate.
I'll see ya.
- Mate, that wife of yours
gets hungry,
send her my way, mate.
I.m joking...
- You want to be, mate.
Now, you just be there on time.
- Don't think he thought
that was very funny.
II'
II'
- It was supposed to be here
at 10:00, ha.
Of course.
Bella.
- Oi!
- No, but our discount-
- Oi!
- Hello, honey.
How are you?
- I've got no office key.
Can I dump my stuff here
for a bit?
- Beep beep?
- Yeah, beep beep.
- Oh, of course.
No problem.
- Hello.
- Beep beep?
- Beep beep
- Everything in order?
- Well, it is my end.
- Are you still going tomorrow?
See ya.
- See ya.
II'
- I The Way you look at me J'
I There's no mistakable
I My heart goes boom for you J'
I And there's no fain' it Julie
I How can {resist J'
I The Wicked look
in your eye? J'
I There's no hope
in restraining J'
I It's just night
that's remaining J'
I Devilish angel J'
- Shoo!
- Whoa-ho.
- Yeah, baby!
Shoo!
- Oh, yeah.
- Send your swimming things
to me, sweetheart.
Ooh.
Yeah, baby.
Hey, hey.
- Oh, no, swim your boys
to my lovely,
and let's bake us a peanut!
- I got to clean the fish, mate.
- The eggs are cooking, babe.
Give us your man fat,
and we'll make us some people!
- I When you look at me J'
I My heart... J'
- You know it's tomorrow
we're going?
Hey, no one knows.
. Yep...
- Ooh, arr, arr, rah, rah,
rah, rah, rah, rah.
Uh, hum, hum, mmm, mmm, mmm.
Uh, hum, hum, mmm, mmm...
- Stop it.
- I There is nobody J'
I That Id rather be with now Julie
II'
- So no sign of Benny?
- Oh, he's hopeless.
- He wants to screw your woman,
Robbie.
- Yeah, well he's testing
my patience.
- Ah, come on, mate.
It's the old bull, young bull
going on there.
- Old?
- Yeah, old.
- Thanks, mate.
- Oh, don't worry, Rob.
I don't care what they say.
I think you're way more
than half man.
Oh, he's 20% at least.
- When was the last time
you did something nice
for your wife, Tony'?
- I would say about 1973.
- No.
Last night.
- Out, both of you.
- We just got here.
- Now.
- Come on, mate.
- Take those coffee cups back.
See ya, boys.
- See you later.
- See ya, fellas.
- Ready?
- Hey, uh, you want to give
the old-fashioned way a shake?
- Not really.
- Come on.
- No.
- Sweetheart, come on.
The butter's boiling, baby.
- Oh, that's gross!
- Oh, it's radioactive.
- Oh.
No, we're going to be late, hon.
We're going to be-
- Won't take a minute.
- I know it won't take a minute.
What are you wearing?
I put out your new shirt.
And those jeans have got
holes in them.
- Hey!
Where's your mummy?
Hey?
Where's Mum?
. He)'...
- She was just left on the side
of the road,
yeah, with cars coming past.
Can you just look after her?
That would be a great idea,
wouldn't it?
- Jess.
- Just let her wander round
as much as she likes.
- Jess.
- It's not fair.
II'
- Ben Davis?
Hi, Ben.
Come through.
- Robert Townsend?
- Yes.
Honey, no.
- I can help.
- No, no.
Just...no.
Okay?
- How are you?
- How are ya?
- Good.
Come on through.
- Honey, come on.
- Ooh.
How'd you go?
- Oh, it was wonderful.
Yeah, wonderful.
Come on.
- So will they mail us
the results?
- Oh, yeah.
- They'll come in the post?
- Yep.
- Why didn't they give them
to you straight away?
How long does it take?
- I don't know.
I don't know if I should.
Come on.
Just do it.
Just get up and do it.
You gonna get up?
Don't worry, mate.
She's gonna love you.
She's gonna absolutely love ya.
II'
- Hello.
- Hello.
- You all right there?
- I'm-I'm actually looking
for work.
Buzzing metropolis, this one.
Try down at the cray factory.
Really tall Maltese guy, Tony.
. Ton)'...
You shouldn't be here, Evan.
Just go home.
- How're you going there, boy?
Not too hard for you?
- No, it's fine.
Thanks.
. Ga)'...
- You're a fucking idiot!
Jesus Christ!
Fuck.
Fuck, you're some kind
of sucking' idiot.
Hello.
- Was that you before?
- Uh, no.
- No?
- No.
- Right.
$0 you got your job, then?
- Yeah.
- Well, come in.
It's all right.
- Thanks.
Thank you.
I, uh-
I found this outside.
Um...a nest.
- Oh, wow.
- Yeah, yeah.
It was empty.
- Oh.
- I like the way
the feathers in there...
sorry...
the feathers in there, like...
I'm Evan, by the way.
- Jess.
- Jess.
- Wow.
It's beautiful.
- No, you keep that.
- Really?
- A gift from me to you.
- Wouldn't that be
kind of weird?
- Probably.
But that's fine,
'cause I get it a lot,
the weird thing, so...
- Oh.
Thanks.
- Uh, I'd better get back,
um, to work.
So...see you tomorrow.
All right.
- Okay.
- See ya.
Oi!
Where's my letter, woman?
- Hey, I just deliver them
I don't write them.
I'll see you in the pub
tomorrow night.
- Uh, how's those squaddies?
- Stinky.
- Stinky.
I mean, you know,
it's not so stinky
that I'd say no to a lift home.
You haven't met my husband,
have you?
- Come on,
I've got all these things.
It's, uh-it's just up the road.
Look, I'll-I'll drive.
- Have you even got a license?
- Yes, officer?
Well, are you going to get out?
- All right.
Okay.
Oh, come inside.
I, uh...
got something to show ya.
- It's not what you think.
Come on.
- I'm sure it's not.
I'm going home.
- Great.
She thinks
I'm some sort of weirdo.
Bye, Evan.
- Look at you, eh?
Hey.
You hungry?
Come on, swallow.
Hey.
Oh, look at that.
Look at that.
- A what?
- A bird's nest.
I think he's a weirdo.
- Good-looking weirdo?
- Yeah.
Young.
- Young?
Well, why don't we adopt him?
Yeah, we don't have
to have a kid.
We can just have him.
- I think the letter's going
to come tomorrow.
- There're a lot of tests.
I think it's going to be weeks.
- It's pretty awful, isn't it,
jerking off into a cup
and sucking out eggs,
squeezing it all back in again?
It's not normal, really.
Not natural.
- Mm.
- But is it worth it?
- Mm.
- I mean,
we've got to try at least.
Rob?
- Rob?
. Yep...
Just seems wrong.
- Wrong?
Rob-
- Don't worry.
The tests are going to come back
jet-powered.
Super sperm.
Super swimmers.
- Negative.
Negative.
Negative.
Negative.
Negative, negative, negative.
Oh!
Negative.
Jet-powered.
- Night, babe.
- Night, Rob.
Any mail?
- No.
- Nothing?
- Nope.
- Do you want me to open it?
- No.
- Ooh, come on, big man.
Let's see what you're made of.
Babe, whatever it says,
it's okay.
- Then we don't need to open it,
do we?
- I know it's scary, babe.
- It's not scary.
It's ridiculous is what it is.
It's stupid.
- But we've got a problem,
and this is a way to fix it.
- I don't need fixing!
- No, we, dickhead.
We need fixing.
- That's not what you meant.
It's not what you meant!
- No, you can tell what I meant
by the words that I said.
- That's right.
And any kid'll do.
You just cook one up
in your lab
or order one from our catalog,
maybe go exotic with Korean
or Sudanese
or just grab one off the street,
you fucking head case!
- Liar!
- Oh, what would you call it,
snatching a kiddie
from its mother!
- You said you wanted this!
- I do!
- Oh, bullshit!
Keep your fucking letter!
- Of course he does.
- No, no.
All mouth, no trousers.
- Oh, my God.
Oh, my God, I love this song.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
- Yeah, fuck it!
II'
- Costello me J'
I Why'd you have to haunt
my dreams I
I So clearly I
- I I said I don't I
I Want you coin'
round here no more I
I Please, trickster I
I No need to settle I
I We'll call it a drawl
II'
II'
- Of course, there's nothing
wrong with your pipes.
- Medically certified
and fully operational.
Standing by.
Here's a perfectly healthy
35-year-old
with the perfect man,
except for the fact
that out of a 100 billion,
he hasn't got
a single fucking boy
that can swim straight.
- Oh, you don't actually know
that.
- No?
15 months of synchronized sex,
sweetheart.
I know.
Cheers.
- J' She's got the best damn
eyes I've seen J'
J' She's got the best
damn eyes I've seen J'
- Come on, you bastard,
or I'll boil you alive!
II'
I She's got the best damn lips
I've seen I
I She's got the best
damn lips I've seen I
- Okay.
Come on!
- Well, you want me,
I'll do it!
Come on!
II'
- Benny!
- Jess.
II'
Jess.
II'
- Here you go, mate.
Hey, don't worry about it,
all right?
II'
II'
Genius!
. He)'...
- Oh.
Perfect.
Just perfect!
- Are you okay?
- Oh, yeah.
Evan, I'm great.
I'm fantastic.
Oh, God.
- I, uh-I wanted you
to meet someone.
- Oh, my...
- Jess, this is Biggie.
Biggie, this is Jess.
- Oh, my God.
Hello.
Oh!
- Come on, Biggie.
And you thought I was a weirdo.
- Oh, baby, come out.
Let me see you.
. He)'...
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
Come here.
It's okay.
It's okay.
It's okay.
Hey, hey.
Come here.
Hey. He)'...
Ah.
Stop.
- Wait, stop!
Stop!
Stop!
- Stop!
Oh, God.
- Oh.
- Evan wouldn't be
my first choice,
but then,
I wasn't there, was I?
- Oh, God.
- Come on in, yeah?
Come on.
Hey, I'm sorry, okay?
Didn't mean you to see that,
but you did.
Man, that was good.
- Hi.
- Hi.
II'
- Rob...
- No, no, no.
My fault.
- I love you.
- It's okay.
We'll get there.
- What was that?
What was I
Who the fuck
does she think she is?
Who the fuck does...
Who the fuck does she think
she is, Big?
You were there, eh?
What the fuck
do I look like, eh?
A sucking' idiot?
Fuck!
Fuck!
You saw them
in the fucking window,
and you did
absolutely fucking nothing.
I do everything for you, Biggie.
Fucking everything.
And you give me nothing!
Why didn't you help me?
I fucking feed you!
I give you a sucking' place
to live!
And you give me nothing!
Nothing!
You fucking piece of shit!
- You fucking piece
of fucking shit.
Fuck you!
Where's Biggie?
Biggie?
Biggie.
Why didn't you help me?
Biggie.
- I don't want you here, Benny.
You think you can play around
with my missus?
Fuck off.
You're sacked.
- You have no idea
what's going on, do ya?
- You stay well away
from my wife, mate.
- Benny.
- Oh, God, great.
Yeah, here's the other one.
- What did you tell him?
Yeah, what do you think
I'm gonna do, eh?
Say, "Yeah, Rob, I saw Jess"?
I Nah nah-nah nah nah-nah I
Fuck you.
- Good morning.
- Is it'?
- Come inside.
- Let's talk here.
- Okay.
Evan, uh, um...
you're very nice.
But we're not having
an affair, okay?
- Oh, having an affair?
- I'm sorry if I misled you.
But it...
I was...
- So you're saying it was
an accident?
Like slipping on a banana peel.
Like, "Oh, whoops,
oh, my clothes exploded off."
Is that what you're saying?
- Keep your voice down.
- Come away with me.
- Oh, for God's sake.
Get inside.
You've got this all wrong, okay?
You've just got it wrong!
- I can deal with Rob, okay?
It's fine.
- What is it that you think
is going to happen?
- Well, I think he's probably
going to be a little bit upset,
don't you, eh?
The answer's no.
I'm saying no.
So I'm going now,
and I think it's
probably a good idea
if you did as well.
- Cool.
Where are we going?
- Please don't.
Please don't do this.
- I'm just having a joke, Jess.
- Yeah.
- Hey, hey, hey.
- Oh, God!
- Look, Jess, it's gonna come
out at some point.
- No, this never comes out.
Never.
- Come here.
Come here.
- Let go.
Let go.
- Come here.
- No!
- You coming out of there, babe?
You okay?
- Yeah, yeah, all good.
Screw the bitch.
Yeah.
No, it's a-
it's a caravan.
Well, she comes around
all the time.
She's never said anything.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, no, she's, uh-
she's great.
Yeah.
Oh, no, she's, uh...
she's taught me more things
than you did
when I was younger.
Yeah, no, she's, uh-
she's Wild.
She's Wild, Dad.
Yeah, no.
It's all good.
Everything's all good.
She's got an old boyfriend
hanging around, though.
II'
- What's that?
What is it?
- They're not always accurate.
- You're kidding me.
Two lines.
That's two lines-
That's good, right, two lines?
Come on, baby!
Oh, yeah!
I did it.
L-well, we did it, you know.
Two lines.
Can I have your attention!
Please everybody, listen up!
- Rob! No!
- No, no, please, please,
please, don't tell anybody.
- Why, why, why?
- It's too early.
What if something goes wrong?
- What could go wrong?
- Rob.
Don't tell anyone, okay?
Just not the boys.
No one.
Please.
Please?
Please?
- Okay, okay.
I won't-I won't-
I won't tell anyone
- So you're telling me
there's no Way I can find out
Without danger to the baby?
No, no, that's fine.
Thank you for your help.
Oh, hi.
It's Jessie Willis speaking.
My husband, Robert Townsend,
came and gave you a sample
a few Weeks ago.
He's away on business.
But I'm his Wife.
I under-I understand.
I understand.
Thank you for your help.
And I'll get him to call you
when he gets back.
- "Eve."
You like "Eve," honey?
"Charlotte."
"Charlotte."
That's my favorite so far,
"Charlotte," for a girl.
I love "Charlotte."
I've always liked "Charlotte."
"Charlie" is good for a boy
or a girl, huh?
- You stay away from me.
- Ha ha ha!
You're pregnant!
I'm so excited!
Shoo-hew-hew!
Oh, my God.
I can't believe it!
How come you didn't tell me?
- Oh, yeah.
- My God!
Get us some glasses,
ya big-mouthed bastard.
- They said
they wouldn't tell anyone.
- Shoo-hew-hew!
Are you excited?
Can you believe it?
I can't believe it!
- I can believe it.
- Just one.
Just last one, little baby one.
Just a little one.
Come on, little baby one.
- Little baby one for the baby.
Okay.
- Maybe just-
just, like, a little bit.
- Here we go.
- Shoo!
- Well, you're definitely
pregnant.
- There are, um, options?
- Yes.
The first step would be
to speak to a counselor.
- Can I do it today?
What about that pill?
- We can't do any kinds
of terminations
until you're five weeks.
Even if you do go ahead,
you'll need to wait
a couple of weeks.
Okay?
Surprise!
- Congratulations!
- Here's your Mum.
- Ay!
- Hooray!
- Look who's here.
- Oh.
- Congratulations.
Are you nervous?
- Congratulations.
- Jess!
It's Mum.
Hooray!
- Hi.
Oh, I got a heart attack.
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, everybody's here.
I think you should go,
don't you?
- You're the mother
of my child, Jess.
- That is not true.
- Oh, yeah, it is, actually,
because the mother of your child
has to be someone
that you're in love with,
and if you stop to think
about it for just one second...
one second...
I think you might realize
that you love me too.
- I want you to go.
- You want me to go?
- Yes.
- You want me to go?
- Yes.
- Okay, negative,
negative, negative,
negative, negative, negative.
- You've been in my house.
You can't do this.
- You did it.
You did it.
I'm the father of your child,
so you'd better
fucking wake up to it.
- And you better sucking-
- Jess?
- It's-it's all right.
- Hello.
I'm Evan.
- It's fine.
II'
- Well, DA, she's, uh-
she's due in March.
You're gonna be a-
a grandpa.
What's that?
Of course it's true.
I have a job.
You're sucking' joking with me?
Um, I'm telling you,
you're going to be
a sucking' grandfather.
I'm gonna be a sucking' father,
and you're asking me
if I've got a job.
A sucking' job!
Are you sucking' joking, DA?
I've got a woman
that I sucking' love,
a job, a sucking' house,
and now a sucking' baby.
It's more than
you ever fuckin' did,
you fuckin' cripple!
Fuck you, DA.
I love you, DA.
- Robert?
- Uh-oh.
- What?
- Whenever you call me Robert,
something bad's going to happen.
What's wrong, baby?
Hmm?
You angry with me?
I'm sorry I told everyone.
It was an accident.
- Can we go to the city
for a while and go see your Mum?
' Hmm?
- I just-I just want
to get away for a little bit
- Hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Just give me a couple of days
to get things organized.
- Really?
- Sure, baby.
Did you like the party?
- Yeah, it was great.
- Nice party.
I was, uh-
I was there last night.
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah, I had to leave early,
though.
Sorry.
Evan.
- Bird's nest guy.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- Right.
I'm having a kid too, you know.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
Um...
Just getting everything
together, you know.
- Yeah.
So what's all this
about the bird's nest, mate?
I'm calling the police.
I'm calling the police.
They're going to come
and get you.
They're gonna-
they're gonna...
Hello?
- What do you require,
police, fire, or ambulance?
What do you require...
- Haah.
He's a kid.
I'm crazy.
- Aw, Jess.
- I'm so stupid!
He thinks he's the father.
It's just a fucking nightmare.
- Oh, my...
- I don't know what to do.
I don't know what to do.
I'm such an idiot!
- Oh, God!
Hey, hey, hey-
Hey.
- What am I going to do?
- Just calm down.
Is he dangerous?
- I don't know!
I don't know.
- Well, can't you just ask Rob
for the fucking letter?
- How can I ask him
for the letter?
How can I ask him
for the letter now?
- All right, all right,
just calm down.
Don't shout; don't shout.
It's all right.
- Sorry.
I'm sorry.
Oh, shit.
. He)'...
Check this out.
What do you think?
What's the matter?
- It's just the hormones.
- I got to go
I'll drive you.
I'll just get my keys.
- Wait, wait, wait.
Is it Benny?
- No.
- You all right?
- Yeah, it's all good.
- Are you sure?
- Yeah.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
- Here.
This came for you.
Hand-delivered, I guess.
- Oh, it's um, probably
some baby thing, yeah.
I'll be back soon.
- Yeah.
II'
- Oh, shite.
What do you think?
- There's no baby, Evan.
I got rid of it.
Today.
So that's it.
It's fucking over.
- Today?
- Yeah.
- Today?
Where do you think I got
the fuckin' pictures from, Jess?
We met at the fuckin'
IVF clinic.
Hmm?
You haven't had the suck
at three weeks.
You're a fuckin' liar.
- I'm not lying.
- Yeah, you fucking are, Jess,
'cause that's
what you fuckin' do.
You lie, and you cheat,
and you cheat,
and you fuckin' lie.
You're a dirty fuckin'
slut liar, Jess.
- Why did you follow me?
- 'Cause you're carrying
my fuckin' child!
- No!
- Yes, you fuckin' are!
- No, I am not!
- Yes, you fuckin' are!
Fuck off!
Fuck off.
- Get the fuck off.
It's mine, Jess.
If you don't want it, fine.
Give it the fuck back!
Get the fuck down and give it!
Give it!
Give it!
Fuck!
- Jess.
Benny didn't touch you, did he?
- No.
II'
Rob?
Rob!
Oh.
I've packed your bags
and rung your Mum.
- Good.
- Ready to go?
- Nearly, yeah.
Good on you, mate.
- Hi, Jess.
- Evan's going to be working
a couple of days
while we're away.
- Just answering phones
and stuff.
- I thought you worked
at Tony's.
- Quota's filled.
Season's over.
- Right.
- Don't worry.
The boys'll keep an eye on him.
- You hungry?
- Can we go now?
- Not just yet, honey.
I've gotta-
- I want to go now, Rob!
- Can't live with 'em,
can't shoot 'em, eh?
- We'll talk later, mate.
- Bye, Jess.
Bye, Robbie.
- No, Rob, I...
- Yes, honey.
Ten minutes.
- All right.
- I've gotta get
the place sorted.
- What can I do?
- Nothing.
Just relax.
II'
- Two-hour drive.
I'm taking a leak.
Oh, shit!
- Rob!
- Don't come in here.
Don't come in here!
- Oh!
- Get out!
Get out!
- Get it out!
- Who was it?
- Get it out!
- I'll fix it!
I'll fix it!
I'll fix
your fuckin' boyfriend.
Hey.
- Oh, sh-No, Rob,
you've got to listen to me.
- Get off.
I'm going fishing.
- It's mine, DA.
Don't say that.
Don't say that.
Don't say that.
Don't say-
Don't say that.
- Jess!
- Don't say that, DA.
It's mine, DA.
Yes, it is.
Yes, it is!
Yes, it is, DA!
Don't say that!
Don't say-
Don't say that.
- Jess!
- Shut up!
Shut up!
Shut up!
Shut up!
Shut up!
It's mine.
It's mine, DA!
Shut up.
Shut up.
- Jess?
- What's that?
Wha...
What'd you-
What you'd s...
He didn't say anything.
- Nothing?
- Nothing.
Do you want to speak to my DA?
Speak to my DA.
It's okay.
Just say hello.
Say hello.
Say hello!
Say hello!
- Hello?
Oh.
Oh, God.
- Dad, you still there?
- No.
- Are you still there, DA?
Yeah, it's probably because
it's a long distance line, DA.
Yeah.
Hold on.
Hold on.
I'll put you back onto her.
Wait there a second.
Come on, here she is.
Here she is.
Oh, yeah, that's much better,
DA, yeah.
- I never touched her, you know?
- Oh, and you never wanted to,
either.
- Same night Rob comes in
looking for her at the bar,
I seen her in her little office,
humping away.
- Oh, yeah?
What were you doing there, eh?
- I did nothing.
- Yeah, well, you put a dead roof
in their baby's cot.
Fuck's sake.
- No, no, no, no.
- What do you mean?
- Rob?
Rob.
Mother's house, fishing.
Mother's house.
- Fishing, mate.
- Fishing.
Snapper?
- Just a bit of peace
and quiet, really.
- That your boat?
. Yep...
- Robbie!
- Sorry, mate,
we got a full load.
- Hello, Evan.
. Ton)'...
- You didn't hurt him too bad,
did you?
- Just go, mate.
- You coming?
- Uh, no, I, uh...
- So what are you doing here?
- He's helping out in the shop.
- We've got plenty of room, eh?
- I can't-I gotta...
- Hey, Evan, on the crate.
Don't be a girlie boy.
Come on!
- Megs, are you there?
Can you pick up?
Please?
I'm going to tell him.
I'm going to tell Rob, so...
I'll be around at your place
a bit later.
- Jess to Mother Goose.
Jess to Mother Goose.
Are you there, Rob?
Rob, are you there?
Jess to Mother Goose.
Jess to Mother Goose.
Rob, pick up.
Honey, can you switch to 31?
Rob, can you pick up?
. He)'...
Get outta there.
Hey.
That's a good one.
You have to put the line
in the water if you want
to catch a fish, Evan.
II'
I had a friend
who was gay once.
He used to...you know?
- Eh'?
- You know.
. Ton)'...
- What?
- About the fist.
- Are you joking?
- Knock it off, you guys.
- I suppose it's an act of love,
like any other, eh?
Evan, I want to know something.
When you are elbow-deep,
do you look into his eyes
and then you say,
"I really love you"?
Aah!
- Are you fucking joking now?
You fuck!
- What the fuck's
the matter with you'?
Evan, put it down.
- Huh?
- Put it down!
- Huh?
- Quit that, you fuckin' idiot!
Give me your hand.
- Fine.
Yeah, fine.
I'm fucking gay-
I'm gay.
- Robbie.
Pull!
- Come on.
- I'm fucking-
I'm gay.
Yes.
Sorry, sorry.
Fucking I'm gay.
Right then.
That's me.
That's-that's me.
That's me in a nutshell.
That's me.
I'm fuckin' gay, am I?
- You're stupid!
You're boring!
- I'll show you fucking gay.
- Look at him.
That's no tough.
That's no-
- I'm fuckin' gay, am I?
You fuck!
Fuck ya!
Ehh, ehh.
Mmm.
Mmm-mmm.
Mmm.
Is that gay enough for ya?
- It's not gonna work out,
Evan.
You at the shop.
- Why?
Hmm?
- Just fuck off, Evan.
- I fucked your wife!
I...
I fucked her good
I'd do it again,
and you know I could.
Mmm.
- Evan!
Evan!
- Aah! Aah!
- You're all right.
You're all right!
- You're all right.
I've got ya, mate.
You're all right.
- It was Evan.
- I know, mate.
I know.
- With Jess.
It was Evan.
Oh!
- Are you kidding me?
You're fucking kidding me!
I want to hear you say it.
Go on, say it!
Say it, say it!
Say it!
Go on, say it!
You say it,
or I'll fucking kill you.
Just say it.
- I'm just so sorry.
- You're sorry?
That's our baby.
No! No!
No! No! No!
I'll go with you!
- Get off him!
- I'll do anything.
I'll go with you.
I promise.
I promise.
I'll go with you.
- He'll come after us.
- If he dies,
the police will come after us.
- Get in the car.
Get in the fucking car!
Shut up!
Shut up!
- Oh, no, no.
- Shut up!
Shut up, Jess!
- Oh, my God,
what have you done?
- Shut up!
Shut up!
- Hey, Rob.
II'
The car's not here, mate.
She's not here.
- Jess.
Jess!
Bastard.
Aw, sh...
Get-get her out, mate.
Let's get her outside.
Come on.
You got her?
- Yeah, I got her.
- Lay her on the ground.
Put her down.
- Hey.
That's it.
HEY-
HEY...
It's all right, girl.
- Hang in there.
- Oi, Rob!
Rob!
Yeah, we-we-
yeah, we need an ambulance.
- It's all right.
It's all right, darling.
It's all right.
Hey, hey, hey.
It's all right.
It's all right.
It's all right.
It's all right.
Georgie's here.
Georgie's here.
Hey.
- Come on.
It's all right.
- What's the matter?
- I'm pregnant!
- Okay.
- Ugh.
- Jess, you...
Jess!
- Jess!
- Jess!
Jess!
- Oh, shit.
Shit, shit.
Oh, fuck!
- Jess.
- In the glove box.
Glove box.
- Oh!
Oh.
Are you feeling better?
- I'll drive, then.
I just-I don't know how to...
how to pretend
it never happened, you know.
I mean, you make commitments;
You make promises.
I mean, I did.
I fucking-
I certainly did.
I did everything right.
Everything!
You, what am I supposed to do
with you, eh?
Look at you.
His hands, his...
What's that?
Hmm?
What's that?
- It's nothing.
- What is it?
- It's nothing.
- Nothin'.
That's not fuckin' nothin'.
That's another problem, Jess.
Shite.
Jess, you keep throwing
these problems at me.
It's not my fault.
Is it?
Hmm?
Hello?
Am I doing all the talking here,
Jess?
Hello?
Hmm?
Answer me this, Jess.
Imagine you're me, okay?
What do you do with you, Jess?
Hmm?
What's the answer?
Hmm?
You're absolutely right, Jess.
You're absolutely right.
There is no answer,
because it's an impossible
fucking situation!
But we go to do something,
don't we, eh?
We got to do something,
so we better do it.
Better just do it
Do it! Do it!
Do it! Do it!
Fucking-
Aah!
II'
I'm so sorry, babe.
I don't know what happened.
You-you...
You got to forgive me.
I'm so...
I'm so tired.
I'm so tired.
- It's okay.
It's okay.
It's okay.
Go to sleep.
Oi!
- Fuck.
"Aah!
- Oh.
Oh.
II'
- Come on.
II'
"Aah!
II'
II'
II'