Confessions of a Christmas Letter (2024) Movie Script
1
Come on, Sam, I was just trying
to finally make
the Wall of Fame.
But here, I'll read you a
little bit so you understand.
It is indeed a spirit
stuffed Christmas
for the happiest clams
Rose clan.
We twinkle with
holiday delights.
And our luminous daughter
Lily is on deck
to joyfully allay any of
your employment urgencies.
She's unemployed again.
Yeah.
Settie, please, will you
just spare me the ending?
I am painfully familiar
with your masterpieces.
Oh.
Another Rose
Christmas letter disaster.
Honestly, I don't know
why she puts herself
through this every year.
Oh!
Do you know why my cousin Sue
has been selected
for the Wall of Fame
every single year?
Nepotism.
Prose.
Settie, you need to put
the P in the Rose,
and then you'll get...
prose.
Yes. Because trust me,
no amount of dressing
is going to salvage
the word salad
you just forced me to digest.
Okay, look, Sam, just grant me
a Christmas miracle
and give me my box
of letters back.
Absolutely not.
No. Once the elves have
received the letters,
they must be delivered.
It's not even real mail.
Just grab it, grab it, grab it.
But I will do this.
Your submission
for the Wall of Fame.
I'll return that
because I can't possibly
endure it a second time.
Merry Christmas.
Next.
Sam, we need to see
your special Christmas
shipping boxes.
- Oh, my Christmas boxes!
- Yeah.
Yes, they just came
in right over here.
We've got to hurry.
Everybody's been waiting.
Sorry, everybody.
I'll be with you soon.
Yes, yes, yes.
We've got a bunch of sizes.
Nice.
Oh. We also...
We've got those.
- Yeah.
- On the wall.
But I think these
are far superior.
What are you looking to send?
Um... Well, I have
a lot of gifts to send.
- Great display.
- It's a Christmas tree!
Got it!
Was anyone following us?
I hope not.
Go. Go. go, go!
Come on.
I'll explain later, Paddy!
Oh, this can't be good.
You did the right thing
getting those letters back.
It was even worse than
last year's Grinch theme.
Did we just aid and abet her?
How can I possibly
get in trouble
for taking something back
that was already mine? Anna,
- Mmm.
- I don't know.
But if I were you,
I'd burn the evidence
before Sue Taylor
gets wind of this.
Did you lock the door?
No.
Sue always barges in.
Isn't it suspicious that she's
made the Wall of Fame
for 18 years straight?
Not really.
Well, her travels
are adventurous.
Her daughter is a genius
and her letters are
beautifully written.
I think next year
will be my year
because Lily is going to Italy.
She got accepted into this
prestigious acting workshop
and Jack and Bradley
are getting married,
so I'm going to finally
have some decent material.
- Yeah.
- I love that for you.
I love it for me too.
Yeah.
Mom, dad, you don't need
to put every ornament we own
on the tree.
- Okay. Love you.
- Okay.
Oh.
No, no.
What do you think?
I think this year
we're going to get
one Christmas thing right
and that's the words
to that song.
Vernon.
The Christmas cookies.
Hi, mom.
Hi.
You're late.
I need you to take
off this vest,
because the last thing I
need is for Sue to find out
that my son was sentenced
to shoveling snow by
his neighborhood.
I can't believe the two of you
took a month long honeymoon
and didn't think about
maintaining your yard.
It was a simple miscommunication
with our lawn service.
Which is why I refuse
to pay the fine
and agreed to community service.
- Okay.
- Hi, Grandma.
Oh, no, no, no, no.
Paddy.
You have to take the lawn
ornaments out.
Sue thinks they're tacky,
and I don't want her to
report us to the committee.
Especially because this year,
we're finally going to make
the Wall of Fame.
You know, I thought after
last year's incident,
you decided to call it quits.
Well, whatever you do,
just remember to leave
me out of it, okay?
For another year?
Or forever.
Or at least until you let me
write my part for accuracy.
Mm. But I'm so excited to
share about your wedding.
It was so beautiful.
And one of the happiest
days of my life.
And it's the 20th anniversary
of the Wall of Fame.
Oh.
Bradley, help me convince him.
Can I not?
Incoming!
You didn't lock the door.
Knock, knock.
Oh.
Sue.
Hi. Hank.
Oh, I see Lily didn't make
it back yesterday as planned.
Did she meet a paramour or
just miss her flight again?
Oh, Victoria wanted to get some
tips for her trip to Italy.
Is she still traveling
with duffel bags?
You know, those are
a haven for bedbugs.
I hope we don't end up
with Christmas critters.
Too late for that.
Inner voice, dear.
It's a good thing
I brought Christmas cookies.
It looks and smells like
a Christmas shop
exploded in here.
What are you wearing?
Uh, a reflector vest.
Because he's volunteering
as a crossing guard.
Oh.
Well, this has been lovely.
We have a lot to do.
Oh, you most certainly do.
At least the outside is
finally looking decent.
Okay. See you tonight.
5:00 p.m. sharp
Christmas Bingo.
Enjoy the cookies.
Poor Hank.
You can do this.
Let's go.
We are gonna write
a Christmas letter.
I got it, I got it.
First, we're gonna have
a cup of tea.
We are typing words and things.
Paddy, can I get a snack?
A very Merry Christmas
to our friends and family.
We rang in this year
by turning our dream
of early retirement
into a reality.
This is the moment.
Okay. All right.
Here we go.
Are you ready?
Are you ready?
We got this.
Happy Holidays.
Shngn ji kuil.
Frohe Weihnachten.
What a year it's been.
I traveled to both China
and Germany before diving
into the world of pivot
and online dating.
Uh, why don't you
have words on you.
In a one-horse open sleigh.
But much better.
Uh, why don't you let me take a
crack at the letter this year?
No, no, no, I can I can be
your little ghostwriter.
I think we're going to need
an expert
to convince Holly Hills
we belong on that wall.
I just can't seem
to get it right.
I feel like I failed as
the matriarch of this family.
That is ridiculous.
You know, the more I try,
the worse it gets.
What I need is him.
The author of
this book, Juan Snchez.
That's even more ridiculous.
No. It's perfect.
It's time to put the P in Rose.
I need prose that can make
standing at the edge
of a toxic waste dump
sound eloquent and enchanting.
I mean, surely he could do
something with our family.
I wouldn't count on it.
Why him?
Well, his writing is exquisite.
For once, my book club selection
is better than Sue's.
I didn't realize book
club was a competition.
Are you kidding me?
Sue always has to come first.
That has been her claim to
fame ever since they moved in.
Did you know that she
even induced labor
so her Victoria would
be born before my Lily?
All right, well, we better
induce our departure soonish
if we're going to get to
the party by 5:00 sharp.
Okay.
Partridge.
Oh.
Hey. What's
happening with Lily?
Did you ever find out why
she missed her flight?
No. But I hope she's fallen
in love
and convinced him
to spend Christmas with us.
Oh, if anyone could do
that in one month's time,
it's Lily.
True. Her life is like a
collection of romance novels.
More like short stories,
but without the happy ending.
Mrs. Claus.
Speaking of books, I
absolutely love Alma Cane.
Great pick.
Thank you.
Wait, you already finished it?
- Yes.
- Of course she did.
She's retired, and it
gives her an excuse
to not talk to her husband.
Adam and I have many
stimulating conversations.
And don't forget, Settie,
it's your turn to host
the meeting this month.
- Right.
- Sugarplum.
- Oh, bingo.
- Bingo.
You know, my rules Settie,
the first to call it wins.
Sue always wins.
I had it.
I know.
The forecast, cloudy
skies with flurries today.
You know what I like
best about this author, Paddy.
- Paddy?
- Mmhmm.
It's the way he makes
flawed people shine
with the stroke of a pen.
Paddy!
Oh, yeah.
Shiny pen strokes.
I am telling you,
Juan Snchez is the key
to bringing us out
of Sue's shadow.
We could even be
an inspiration to him.
- Maybe.
- Yeah.
Here's the thing. I think
he would really get us.
- Mmhmm.
- I do.
Okay.
Abuelo, baja la msica!
To Carlos, por favor.
Okay, okay.
Mira! Esa la mejor.
Oi, te dijo que no pusieras
ninguna fotografa.
La gente tiene que
recordar que l aun existe.
Look, a new message.
Good day, Mr. Snchez.
I'm a huge fan,
and I have a seasonal
job opportunity for you.
It would include coming
to my Connecticut home
for two festive weeks,
give or take.
Please let me know at
your earliest convenience.
Should we call her?
Misery.
Exacto!
Esto va a terminar
con su miseria.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
It's the name of that movie
about an American woman...
You and your movies.
This is a job.
An opportunity for him to get
inspired and write something.
Tampoco, tampoco. 'Kay.
Eso como que, vamos...
Gabriela...
Ah!!!!!
Call her.
Paddy!
You will not believe
what happened!
I heard back from Juan's people.
What?
The author.
The one you told me to
hire to be my ghostwriter.
What? I never said
any such thing.
Hmm.
Hm.
Okay, So when does he arrive?
Well, they didn't say for sure
if he's coming,
but I think I should clean
the guest room just in case.
Right?
Oh, and I'll use our
rainy day fund to pay for him.
Okay. I'm excited!
I knew I should have
used watercolors.
La cosa es que plantear en
alguna manera que no sea drstica.
Juan, we found a writing
job for you on Hot Gram.
Okay.
That's a no.
It's only two weeks, and it
will bring some extra cash.
And a change of scenery will
help with your writer's block.
The voices are
not coming to you.
I'm working through it.
How?
Because your agent is
calling every day,
going, can I get
something... anything?
The second book is
always the hardest.
Juan, they're going to ask
for that advance back.
Which we already spent.
What's the job?
It's some kind of family
Christmas story
about redemption.
Remember those stories
you used to write for
your grandma every year?
She always looked forward
to them.
They were about a little crab
that somehow always managed
to get entangled in
Santa Claus' fishing net
while he was flying over
Puerto Rico,
delivering presents
and scooping up fish
to make bacalaitos.
Las aventuras y desventuras de
Chacho, el cangrejo de Navidad.
Chacho. Yes.
She loved those stories.
And she looked forward
to them every Christmas.
You know...
maybe this is her...
from heaven.
Casting your net
for you to grab on to
it and be swept away, Juanito.
La extrao mucho.
Yeah. Me too.
Maybe I could use a change
of scenery.
So where is Chacho
going this Christmas, hm?
Connecticut.
And when does he get swept away?
- Maana.
- Maana.
Maana?
First and last
time I do a shared ride.
How much longer do you think...
Can you hold this, please?
Great.
I'm Lily.
I'm tired.
Oh. Here. I only had one sip.
This should do the trick.
It's a quad.
You're vacation or business?
- Business.
- Huh.
And you?
I live here.
I'm just returning from Italy.
I surprised my family by
arriving a few days late.
Shouldn't it be the other
way around?
All hands are on deck, skipper.
All right, let's go.
- Hurry, hurry, hurry! Quick!
- Here we go.
We gotta hang up the side.
All right. Ready?
Let's have a look.
Oh.
Tangle-free guaranteed.
Congratulations, Lily.
So, what are we
congratulating her for?
It's supposed to say
welcome home, Lily.
Oh, well.
That's disappointing.
Uh. Ride share.
Be there soon.
All right, all hands on deck.
Let's go. Let's go. Okay.
I'll get started with the food.
Uh, no.
- I'll, uh.
- Okay.
I'll help Paddy.
Get a marker.
Where's the duct tape?
Nice to meet you, Tired.
Happy holidays.
You can actually call me Chacho.
It's nice to meet you too, Lily.
Oh, um wait. It's...
You forgot.
I don't know what you got
gotten yourself into, Juan.
But this is your
final destination too.
Here.
Oh, my girl, my girl.
I miss you.
Oh, my gosh!
Look at you.
You look so beautiful.
How was it?
Oh, it was... good.
- An Italian boyfriend.
- What?
Is this the surprise?
Um... arrivederci.
Um, buongiorno.
Oh, my goodness. Thank you.
It's so nice of you.
They're beautiful.
What's your name?
Whose name?
Oh, Lily's Italian boyfriend.
I'm not Italian.
And he's not my boyfriend.
- His name is Chacho.
- Juan Rebolledo Snchez.
You gave me a fake name?
It's fictional, actually.
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God, you really here?
I can't believe it.
Oh my goodness.
Do you know him?
I can't believe you came.
Of course I know him.
This is Juan, I hired him.
This is so beautiful.
I think I'm going to cry.
Finally. It's
a Christmas miracle.
Hi. And I love
a good surprise, Juan.
But if we had known
you were coming today,
we would have planned
a better welcome party.
Wait, they didn't tell you?
Settie, what exactly
is going on?
Incoming!
Oh, God.
- Knock, knock.
- Oh, God.
Paddy, I couldn't help but
notice on my morning walk
that you placed this outside
and obviously it wasn't
approved by the committee.
Nope. An unapproved
lawn ornament.
Who are you?
Uh, this is Juan.
Where'd he come from?
The airport.
Is he Italian?
Nope. Not Italian.
We invited him here
for the holidays.
Right, Juan?
I was invited,
and it is the holidays. Yes.
Congratulations, Lily.
Oh, unbelievable.
Last year, Lily was
chasing one out the door.
Now she's dragging one in.
Don't tell me love
at first sight again.
At least I still have
the same dress I wore
to her last engagement party.
I hope you know what you've
gotten yourself into.
You know what, Sue?
Juan proposed to Lily.
Another Christmas miracle.
They met traveling,
and Lily wanted to surprise us.
You know me always
full of surprises, right Juan?
Mhm.
From day one.
Mm. Too bad you quit writing
Christmas letters, Settie.
This could have been your year.
Actually, Sue, I'm going
to try it again.
You know, for the 20th
anniversary and all.
Oh. Well, the Roses
need some redemption
after last year's debacle.
Well, this has been lovely.
We're anticipating making
another appearance
on the Wall of Fame
thanks to Victoria's Triple
P's promotion, Paris
and can anyone guess the third?
Prison?
Pregnancy.
I told you I'd be the first
to have a grandchild.
- Ciao.
- Ciao.
Ciao.
What just happened?
Welcome to Holly Hills.
The fiancee's from Italy?
First of all, the fianc thing,
Sue came up with
that on her own.
I just simply got caught up
in the moment
with the flowers and
the banner and the whatnots.
Okay. Backing up.
Who is he?
And what exactly
is he doing here?
He is the author of Alma Cane
and I took your dad's advice
and hired him to write our
Christmas letter this year.
He's going to make us shine.
In my defense, I offered
my own services
and was rejected in favor
of Juan.
So I traveled all this way
to write a Christmas card.
Letter.
It's been a Holly Hills
tradition for 20 years.
Oh, the desperation to get
on that wall is palpable.
It would be like winning
the Nobel Prize
for literature around here.
I think there's been
a misunderstanding.
Sadly, Juan there hasn't.
Okay. Writing
a Christmas letter
is an overlooked art form,
and you're just going
to be so good at it.
Our guest room is upstairs
on the right,
and there's extra blankets
at the foot of the bed and...
Yeah, go, go.
Um, what was my surprise?
Oh, fancy truffle face cream.
Oh.
Probably more exciting
before I got engaged.
- Oh, no, it's still exciting.
- That's okay.
I love face creams.
Merry morning, Juan.
I hope you slept well.
I left you a Christmas onesie.
Put it on and come down
for breakfast.
I'll be right down.
Can't wait.
Onesie?
All right, let's make
him feel welcome.
No inappropriate comments,
please, mother.
And also, don't talk about Jack.
Why not?
You heard him.
He said, and I quote,
I don't ever want to be
in another Christmas letter
for as long as I live.
Oh.
Well, you can't blame him
for not wanting you
to fictionalize his life.
What?
He's so funny.
- Oh.
- I'm sorry.
No. I'm sorry.
At least you make it look cute.
My thoughts exactly.
About you I mean, not me.
It could be worse.
Oh, it will be.
Here they are.
- Oh, good morning...
- Good morning.
...sleepyheads, hi.
All right, Juan, you sit
right here.
Okay.
And this is just a little
eggnog Christmas blend.
Okay. Okay.
Every morning, to help Juan
with his work,
we're going to gather here for
a little Christmas inspiration
and go over the basics of
Christmas letter writing.
I'm really here to write
a Christmas card.
A letter, Juan.
Letter.
Okay. We're also going
to go over
upcoming Holly Hills happenings.
Oh, I got it, honey.
I got it.
Good.
Okay.
First item of business.
Drum roll.
Ta da!
Quote of the day.
The snuggliest of
holiday snuggles
starts with seasonal onesies.
Settie Rose.
Oh, we have a question, Juan.
Um. I can barely breathe
in this, much less snuggle.
Yes, well, it belonged
to my ex-fiance,
who was a runt.
And a rat.
And who dumped Lily right
before the holidays last year.
You should have
just given him Jack.
Jackie... our cousin
who visited last year.
Don't have it.
Moving on.
All right, Juan, you have
an interview schedule.
It starts on the 12th.
If you're going to write
this letter,
you got to get to know everyone.
And I've got some Wall of Fame
letters for you
for your research.
Lastly. All right, buddy,
pay attention.
This is for you. Okay.
Pay attention.
All right. Reminder
of the day
when writing
your Christmas letters,
don't be so cheerful
as to come off garish.
Burning!
My buns!
Oh, it's fine.
Is this normal?
Any questions?
Okay. Further planning
for Lily and Juan.
I signed you up to help
decorate the clubhouse
later this week.
Teamwork makes the dream work.
Oh, gosh. All right.
And you two, you got
to bond quickly.
Got to be birds of a feather.
Cheerful couple. Right?
Especially when Sue's around.
Mhm.
Like two peas in a pod.
Oh, and, Juan, you are lucky
because Lily took an
acting workshop in Italy.
Mmhmm.
These are
my famous cinnamon buns.
Yay, yay, yay.
A secret family recipe.
Oh! Oh!
Dig in.
Oh, here, let me
get that anyway.
Yeah, yeah. Dig in.
Uh.
Okay. Yeah.
Look at these beautiful flowers
for the new couple...
from Sue.
Form Sue.
All right.
Does anyone else want
more Christmas blend? Huh?
Thank you, Sue.
Ho ho ho!
Where is he going?
Maybe we're coming
on a little too strong.
The fianc ruse.
Bad Christmas coffee.
The ex-fiance's onesie.
Mm.
Well, it's clearly not a onesie.
Juan.
Hey. Please don't go.
Look, I know I agreed to this,
but I don't want to be part of
this game that you're playing.
Well, it's not a game.
- I write novels.
- Yeah.
I'm a novelist who...
Who could use this experience
to help him with
his writer's block.
Writer's block?
I had a very nice talk
about you with your Abuelo.
He's such a sweet man.
And, you know, he just wants
to see you happy again.
You don't know the first
thing about me.
My writing,
how stories are written.
And how do you plan
on explaining
why there is no wedding
at the end of all of this?
Lily's reputation for
catch and release romances.
She just loves love.
And what about your
reputation if they find out?
My reputation?
Trust me, Juan, it could only
improve it at this point.
Especially when it comes
to the Christmas letter.
Also, I just want to apologize
that my lack of planning
made things snowball a bit.
It's more like an avalanche.
Listen up.
If we lose Juan,
we need a Plan B.
This has to be her year.
I'm still trying to wrap
my brain around
how Juan became Plan A.
As if you've never acted
on a harebrained idea.
Lily's right.
Ever since we moved here,
Settie's been trying
to get us on that Wall of Fame.
And what have we done to help?
We've told her to stop caring,
but she cares because
she thinks we're worth it.
And she has never given up
on us.
And we are never giving up
on her.
Plan B on three.
One. Two. Three.
Plan B?
Wait, do we have a Plan B?
Still Juan.
Settie, I came here
because I can't write.
And I hired you
because I know you can.
Look, year after year,
I have tried to bring
the deep beauty
and the potential of my family
to the surface
for everyone to see.
That's why this year
I cast a wider net
in hopes of catching you.
Oh, incoming.
Trouble in paradise already?
Mi Abuela used to say
that those who go looking
for trouble are up to no good.
Oh.
What's your name again?
Sue Taylor.
Unofficial mayor of Holly Hills.
Tread carefully, Juan.
We wouldn't want another
breakup so close to Christmas.
Did you see her salivating
at the thought of
your unhappiness?
I know 'cause she's a real...
I'm not going to say it.
Oh and next year
I'll be picking
for December book Club.
The authors you choose
never quite cut it.
I'll see you at the
wreath-making competition.
Okay.
Uh, closing lines
are her specialty.
Opening lines are my specialty.
I will write you that letter,
and it will make her weep
with envy
because you have caught
the right crab.
That's the spirit.
Oh, Juan, we are gonna
make such a great team.
You're gonna be
so happy you're joining
the Roses this Christmas,
I promise.
Sue is going down.
Yes.
I will do this.
Oh!
But I have conditions.
Anything?
This onesie.
It's actually kind of
nice in the cold, but...
I'll need my own.
And not one previously
bought for a runt rat.
That's fair.
Done.
And I take my coffee black.
No blends.
Just plain black coffee.
Noted.
Served in a Christmas mug.
I'll agree to that.
Good.
Jumping back into the dating
world has been invigorating.
There's nothing like sharing
your favorite hobbies
with someone for the first time.
Namaste.
I'm ready to...
Transition from a life
built around work
to a life built around
one another.
No.
Please. No.
No, that doesn't even
sound good.
Retirement helps to connect
you to your true purpose.
Yeah.
Okay, amigos.
We'll start by trying to
capture the festive sights,
sounds, tastes and smells
of the Rose family home
at Christmas.
Juan!
We'll try capturing
the tone instead.
Everyone, time for the
wreath making competition.
Okay, Mom more holly.
And Paddy trim the boxwood.
Yeah.
Eso, this one.
Lily, the bow.
The bow, the bow!
Okay.
We need something else.
Hurry, hurry, hurry!
Yes, yes, yes!
Ah!
Let's hear it for third place.
This year we do have
an honorable mention.
It goes to... number four.
Oh! Oh, that's us.
It's us.
Oh, come on, come on!
That's us! It's us!
Come here.
Come on, come on.
Oh, wow. Wow.
This is so unexpected.
There are so many people
to thank. Ah!
It's only an honorable mention.
Oh. I should start
by introducing
our very special guest, Juan.
Juan get up here!
No, no, not special.
Yes, you are.
Juan is Lily's fianc,
whom we are delighted
to have joined our
family this Christmas.
Is that Sue's mini-me.
The one and only Victoria,
named after...
The Roman goddess of victory.
I can't believe
they won something.
I can't believe
Lily's engaged again.
Knowing Lily, she met
him at the airport.
Let's see if he lasts a week.
So where in Italy
did you guys meet?
We met in Venice
at a tango class.
The dance of love.
Sounds like something
out of a movie.
How romantic.
It's almost too romantic.
We spotted each other
from across the ballroom.
And what began as being partners
for a night turned
into partners for life.
Oh.
So show us some of your moves.
Hank and I love a good tango.
No.
- I am just gonna go...
- Yes.
No, no, no, no.
Do you know how
to tango by chance?
No, but I'm guessing
you don't either.
No, but just follow my lead,
I am great at improvising.
Oh!
Tango.
Do it.
Aye.
Okay, final dip.
Calling that
a tango is a stretch.
We just took one class, so
we still have a lot to learn.
Mmhmm.
That was so fun.
You did so great.
From now on, you take my lead.
Which will be rational,
not risky.
What's so risky about that?
Worst case scenario, they
think we're terrible dancers.
Who cares?
I care.
Humiliation just
isn't my idea of fun.
I am not like you, Lily.
Clearly.
You could stand
to loosen up a little.
That was like dancing
with a cardboard cutout.
Out for a breath of frigid air.
I was just looking
for the... bathroom.
Oh.
And you?
Looking for you.
That was quite
the disappearing act.
I wanted to apologize for
being a little too impulsive.
Subtlety isn't my specialty.
Apology accepted.
And thank you, by the way.
For what?
Apparently, subtlety
is your specialty.
And we have our first
ever honorable mention.
That may have more to do
with my competitive streak.
Something your mother
and I have in common.
Oh, I see.
Competitive.
My peace offering.
- Thank you.
- And you want?
No, no.
Your mother
says you're an actress.
Aspiring.
I haven't really acted in
anything since college,
but I was
happiest during those days.
I love being part of
a story that wasn't my own.
I've auditioned for a few
things here and there,
the only gigs I've landed
are embarrassing infomercials.
Yeah?
You know, hair removal, hair
growth, specialty dentures,
that sort of thing.
I know what those are.
My To Carlos loves them.
Is that...
Is that why you went to Italy?
No, that's not why I went.
But, um, let's just say
Italy wasn't what I expected.
What about you?
Why did you take this gig?
I needed a change of scenery.
Hm?
Your thoughts so far?
Mm. Let's see.
In the span of two days,
I've been forced
into a fake engagement,
nearly suffocated by a onesie,
publicly humiliated
on a dance floor,
and then thrust into the stream
of your mother's desperation.
Desperate times call
for desperate measures.
I don't mean that
as a criticism.
I'm just pointing out
we're all sort of
on the same page here.
Are you not drinking that?
No. It's a bit too sweet
for me.
Better than not sweet enough.
May I?
Mhm.
You have a little...
I know.
I meant to do that.
No, no, no, no.
It's just like when he went
to summer camp,
he's calling because
he wants to come home.
He's 32.
Okay, so we'll wait another day.
Then we'll call him.
Sorry, sorry,
sorry, sorry, sorry
I... Oh, thank you, thank you.
I like to compare
the holiday season
with the way a child
listens to a favorite story.
The pleasure is in the
familiar way the story begins.
Fred Rogers.
I love Fred.
This makes me think of
my Abuelo on Christmas Eve.
He always reads to us
The Night Before Christmas.
To To Carlos and I just
before midnight.
Yeah, dad did that, too.
And Paddy did it
for our children... child.
Yup.
We read it every year, and
I still look forward to it.
Well, speaking of special
moments, reminder of the day.
Do make a good story out
of the smallest moments.
And I have an example for you
from my favorite letter
from 2017.
We were
simply watching the snow fall,
but against the Italian Alps
it became the most
beautiful painting
in the entire world.
In... in an effort to
understand this genre,
I have identified the
strengths and common themes.
But none of them have to do
with Christmas.
Well, it's more about
inspiring people
during the Christmas season
to be the best version
of themselves.
When you say "best version",
do you mean fictional
or factual?
Because I've met some
of these people
and let's just say...
I'll get it.
I mean factual,
but you know, you take
the facts to the spa
and you pamper them and
you give them a little juje.
Okay.
Okay. Next item interviews
are up for you today.
You have Paddy and dad,
and tomorrow you
have Lily and my mom.
- That's great.
- Mmhmm.
Oh, and you two need to finish
the gingerbread house for the party.
Oh, right.
I have an order coming
with all the fixings.
You need to pick it up
right after this meeting.
Okay.
Mail's here.
Hmm.
Okay, here we go.
Okay.
It's Sue's letter.
Okay. Let's see.
Warm wishes to all as we
approach the winter solstice.
And invite the return
of the sun into our lives,
bearing new beginnings
and brighter days.
This doesn't sound like Sue.
Well, Sue is the best version
of herself in her letters.
One of the most beautiful...
Oh.
What?!
We have a lot of work to do.
Oh.
Lily!
Hi.
I'll handle this.
Victoria. Hello.
I was just leaving my moms,
saw you two
and said I've got to...
Find out how
the trip to Italy was.
Well, yes. I hardly got to
talk to you at wreath-making.
Obviously, it was...
Eventful, given I came back
several days later
than expected.
Eventful is an understatement.
I don't think there's a flight
Lily hasn't missed
and it's almost always
due to something, "eventful".
Why have you all not returned...
Your calls?
We were trying to work
out the holiday schedule.
She's been a little off today.
I think it'd be better if you
came back later in the week.
Things are a bit chaotic.
The letter, you know.
I've got to get going.
Ted and I are meeting
for brunch.
I'll have to tell him
I ran into the happy...
Italy definitely made me happy.
Let's talk soon.
Gotta get this
gingerbread house done.
Oh, sure.
Don't let me keep you.
It was nice to see you.
You too.
Take this in, please.
I'll be right behind you.
- Okay.
- Thank you so much.
Okay.
Who is that?
Mom's Christmas
letter redemption.
Ask her if you dare.
I do not.
Take this.
Bradley's mince pie.
Thank you.
- Oh.
- Who is that?
Oh, he's the housekeeper.
You know, he's like family.
He's just...
What is your favorite
memory of this past year?
Oh, my favorite...
my favorite memory.
Uh. Well, I would have
to say it was, uh,
when Settie was nominated
for the... the... the Olga
Van Wexler Service
to the Community award.
What is this?
I don't know.
Maybe some would say
a cheat sheet, but...
It's exactly what it is.
And you should know that I
have confiscated all of them.
What?
Hm.
Let's try that again.
My poem being published
in The Connecticut Whistle.
You write poetry?
Yeah.
Let's hear it.
My Poinsettia:
A portrait.
Petals are her body unfolding
with each passing year.
Sweet splendor of
soft moonbeams.
Fanning the flames
of forevermore.
Eternal embers
eclipsing eternity.
I didn't know he had that
in him.
Um. Who's next?
Your father.
Oh.
I finally retired last year.
Well, congratulations.
What an accomplishment.
You have no idea how hard it is
to live without purpose.
Can you find another purpose?
You know, that's
what Edith said as well.
I took her advice, and
I found a hobby on the Google.
- Close your eyes.
- Mmhmm.
Listen to this.
It's great. Ready?
That was amazing.
I'm telling you, Hank.
The Roses are housing
barn animals over there,
and it's just like them.
I'm certain they are not.
Leave it to my dad
to find the weirdest hobby
on the internet.
These tamales are
the highlight of my day.
Right? I told you.
What was the highlight
of Edith Rose's year?
Easy.
Discovering silent disco
on our dream cruise to Alaska.
What's silent disco?
The antidote to feeling old.
Here we go.
There you go.
So, uh... so what now?
Choose your channel and
dance like no one's watching.
What are you waiting for?
Here.
Oh.
I wasn't prepared for this.
Is this something
you prepare for, Juan.
You just let go and disco.
Mom, I told you what happens
on the cruise ship
stays on the cruise ship.
Lucky for us, Sue is still
at her spa day so maybe...
Okay. Let's get this
masterpiece started.
So, uh, what's the plan?
Following my intuition
at the moment.
Starting with the walls.
They're completely mismatched.
It's abstract.
Trust me. I learned
a long time ago
trying to do this the right way
only increases the pain
of failure.
I see.
But if you don't try at all,
or you jump from one thing
to the next
without actually making
an effort,
then you can avoid
failure altogether
because you
never actually tried.
So we're on the same page?
No. We're on opposite pages.
What are you doing?
We are going to start over.
And this time, give it our best.
Why would we do that?
It's just a gingerbread house.
Because you hide behind
this free-spirit philosophy.
But really, you want
to be good at something
and you cannot get good
at something
if you don't really try.
The bottom line is,
I cannot ever be
the talented and accomplished
daughter she dreams of having.
You already are, Lily.
For 20 years, she's tried
to embellish my life
in her Christmas letters,
Juan, so clearly I'm not.
Do you know why I like writing?
Hm.
Because I can be
in control of the story.
My parents died when
I was ten years old,
and it was totally
out of my control.
I'm so sorry, Juan.
It was a long time ago, and...
I was lucky I had my
grandparents and To Carlos
to get me through it.
And then when I was 19,
my Abuela died.
The reason why I'm telling you
this is...
is because sometimes
we need some help
getting through
the rough patches.
It's the reason why I came here.
You have to take control
of your own story, Lily.
The workshop in Italy
was my mom's idea.
I dropped out on the third day
because I didn't think
I could be as good
as the rest of the group.
I didn't want to bring
them down.
You didn't want
to bring them down,
or you didn't want to put
in the effort
to rise up to their level.
So what did you end up doing?
Well, I, uh, got swindled
by a modeling agency
who, in return
for my modest fee,
gave me a year's supply
of hair spritzer
from yet another infomercial so.
Okay. I don't know
what I'm doing.
What's our plan?
Well, now that we're actually
on the same page,
you tell me.
This is your house.
Thank you.
It feels really good
to finally tell someone
the truth.
You're welcome.
I'll tell you what.
You make the plan, and
I'll be quality control.
That sounds exactly
like something
my brother would say.
You're what?
Just give me one quick second.
On my way.
Okay.
All right.
Okay.
Okay.
Sorry I'm late.
Ah!!!
It's nice to see you, too, mom.
I guess the jig
is up on Cousin Jackie.
You did say you
didn't want to be
in another letter ever again.
That was before I found out
you hired
a professional writer
and told Sue
he was Lily's fianc.
You are really outdoing
yourself this Christmas, Mom.
Sue came up with that,
and I felt like I had
to run with it.
Uh-huh.
Juan, these are for you.
Pan de Mallorca.
I've been missing these so much.
- Muchas gracias!
- Oh, thank you.
I can't believe I didn't
think of that.
And I can't believe you
didn't tell him about me.
Or me about him.
I think you're making a blizzard
out of a few snowflakes.
I guess those must have been
some very big snowflakes, huh?
Let's tell Juan about
the snowflakes, shall we?
One example I happened to
mention one time in passing
that I had been thinking
about taking up sculpture.
The next thing I know, I'm
reading her a Christmas letter,
only to discover that
I will be teaching
a sculpture in the
modernized world class
at the Holly Hills
Recreation Center.
I made up that title, so.
Teaching that class was
harder than my full-time job.
I had never sculpted
anything in my life.
Well, now you have.
Look at this beauty.
I love it.
I think teaching is the
best way to learn something.
And you're always telling me
that you want to do
these things,
but you don't do them.
So I'm just giving
you a little nudge.
And it worked.
I think part of you loved
teaching that class.
Okay. Now that we've all
properly been introduced,
can we continue
with the meeting?
And, Jack, you get
to do quote of the day.
"I will honor Christmas
in my heart
"and try to keep it
all the year."
Charles Dickens.
A Christmas Carol is one
of Abuelo's favorite films.
So this is your first time
being away for the holidays?
Actually, yeah.
Oh.
I wish we could meet them.
Oh, they would love you.
All of you, to meet you all.
Speaking of movies,
am I getting a little
Sandy Bullock in The
Proposal thing from you or?
No.
Oh, no.
You know what?
Lily and Juan are just
doing an excellent job
of keeping our ruse going.
Speaking of which, um, I would
like the letter, Juan,
to go out on the 19th.
Absolutely not.
Um, we mail it on the 21st
to capitalize on
the Christmas mood.
You haven't started it yet,
have you?
- Of course.
- Of course he has.
We will not fall to the
house of Sue this year.
Nope.
The deeper I went into
the online dating escapades,
the more I realized
just how many
splendid fish there are
in the sea.
Even if I don't catch
one this year,
I'll keep tossing out my line,
because sooner or later,
the right one will come along.
In the meantime...
Adam and I have decided
to fill some of our
glorious retirement time
volunteering together
for worthy causes.
This decision has brought us
great joy and fulfillment.
Okay, my friends,
what's the first line?
I just need the perfect
first line
and it will unlock
the whole letter.
Please give me this
one Christmas miracle.
Chucho has to return home
a better crab or the
story is not complete.
That's it!
The story isn't complete.
Muchas gracias, amigos!
Okay.
Settie.
Yeah.
I've been thinking
a lot about this,
and I cannot finish my letter
without interviewing you.
Okay, where do you want to know?
What is your favorite part
about Christmas
with your family?
Chestnuts roasting
on an open fire.
Something that doesn't come
from a Christmas carol.
How about just
what's your favorite part
of this past year?
Lily's surprise engagement.
Why can't you give me
a real answer?
Don't you value your family?
Of course I value my family.
That's why I hired you.
They think you hired me
because they're not good enough.
Did Lily say that?
Not in those exact words,
but yes.
You know, she used
to tell me everything.
I haven't even heard about
Italy or the workshop.
Did she talk to you about that?
She did.
Those are her stories to tell
when she's ready.
The truth is, more and more
I get obsessed
around the holidays.
I get caught up in this
whirlwind of trying
to create the perfect Christmas
that we'll all remember
and be remembered by.
Anyways, once you write me
the perfect letter,
I can call it quits.
Settie, they are perfect
the way they are.
Full of love.
My flowers?
Your family.
And that includes you.
Ta da!
I finally finished.
It's perfect.
It's full of love.
It's a little wonky.
I've assigned you
and your fianc
to the luminaries is outside.
Not bad.
Lily made it.
Well, I've known Lily
her whole life,
and she's always
had two left hands.
You're lucky to have Juan
on your team... for now.
I am sorry, just...
come on.
What?
I didn't think you'd be
this susceptible
to the Sue Taylor effect.
I don't like how
she treats you, you're family.
She's actually a Grinch
in Santa's clothing.
Yeah, she can be
a little grumpy.
Kind of like you
when we first met, Chacho.
I told you that
wasn't a fake name?
That's not your name.
Yes and no.
Chacho is a crab who is,
incidentally, very crabby.
And every Christmas, his
life got turned upside down
and he was given a chance
to become a better crab.
My Abuela loved those stories
because she always
saw the best in people,
unlike me.
That's not true.
You see the best in my mom
and our family,
and I even think deep down
you see the best in Sue,
just like I do.
Huh, no.
The truth is,
it's time for you
to stop being a perfectionist
and see the best
in yourself, too.
Mm. Two left hands.
Now, Part 1 of my conversation
with Juan Rebolledo Snchez.
Isn't that...
The reclusive author of
the critically acclaimed...
- No, no, no, no...
- ...Alma Cane.
Tell me about
your writing process.
Well, I really try not to
think of it as a process.
It makes the whole art
of writing sound sterile.
Of course, I'm superstitious
like all writers.
Sorry.
But I will share that
I start with my yellow pad.
I just like the feeling...
Piper! You are killing
the Christmas spirit.
Sorry everyone.
I forgot about the music
and clicked on the interview.
Why won't this turn off?
Does he sound familiar?
Jingle bells,
jingle bells.
Santa is coming soon.
Oh, what fun it is to ride...
Snow is falling down.
You don't know the lyrics
to this song?
I do, I did.
Jingle bells,
jingle bells.
Jingle all the way.
That was so fun.
I need my lucky socks.
It's time for you to stop
being a perfectionist
and see the best
in yourself, too.
I left home with a knife
in my pocket and $1.
I didn't know that the
moon held more than dust.
It held nightmares
carved into dreams.
Or was it the other way around?
"Christmas is doing a little
something extra for someone,"
Charles M. Schulz.
I'm excited to finally
come to one of these.
Jack won't admit it,
but he loves them.
I love them too.
I'm going to miss this
when the season's over.
We've all come to look
forward to this time together.
We haven't had s'mores for
breakfast since we were kids.
Mmm-mmm. I'm sorry,
but these are better
than your cinnamon buns.
I suspected that was the reason
you walked out on us that day.
No, that wasn't the reason, no.
One never forgets
their first encounter
with a family recipe.
It's true.
Can I see you for a moment?
Yeah, of course.
I was hoping you would
grant me a second interview.
Of course.
Okay.
The thing I love most
about Christmas
is the joy it brings out
in our family.
We're not great at it,
but we love it
with all our heart.
And I know my enthusiasm for
the season can be a tad much,
but it feels fleeting
and I just want it
to last a little bit longer.
I've really enjoyed getting
to know your family.
Lily.
No, not all of you.
And your enthusiasm
is not too much.
It's infectious.
Thank you so much
for staying with us.
I will always consider
you as part of our family.
Well, thank you.
And you are right. I am glad
I am spending Christmas
with the Roses this year.
I knew it.
We're fun.
Once upon a time, on a tree
lined street in Holly Hills,
there lived a wonderful family.
And while we may tangle
the lights, burn the cookies
and decorate the Christmas tree
until it can barely stand up...
We always get Christmas
right in our hearts.
Paddy...
Um, what's in the shed?
Nothing.
We don't talk about the shed.
Because there's
nothing to talk about.
All right, you guys got this
'cause I have to run an errand.
Stay out of trouble.
Your mom changed the combo.
Did you try your birthday?
Right.
June 12th.
Fifth.
Fifth.
Whoa!
It's a reindeer.
A sleigh.
These are amazing.
Why aren't they on full display?
Sue and her committee.
Yeah. Lawn ornaments
are tacky
and not suitable for our
traditional neighborhood.
Why does everyone listen to her?
I think it goes back to the PTA.
She was president for all
12 years I was in school.
Everyone knows it's just easier
to do what she says
than go up against her.
Yeah.
Well, I think it's time
for new leadership
and new traditions.
Agreed. Sue can pound sand.
We meet tomorrow at midnight.
Call Jack.
We need all hands on deck.
I got the door.
Okay. Great, great.
- Inner voice.
- Bring it in, all right?
Thanks for being
our fearless leader.
Remember, we save
the sleigh for last.
Yes!
Whoa!
- Let's go.
- Okay.
Come on.
Let's go.
Let's go!
Sh-sh-sh!
Sh-sh-sh...
Huh?
- We're good.
- Okay.
- Yeah.
- Alright.
- Follow me everyone.
- This is crazy.
That was fun.
Are you okay?
I have an audition
tomorrow for a play.
That's awesome.
Do you need help
preparing for it?
I ran through
the scenes a couple times.
Usually I just try to show
up and be in the moment.
But if you're up for it.
I'll help you.
You know, we've been at
this for over an hour.
You're maybe taking this
new preparation thing
a little too far.
I even know the lines.
Last scene, one more time,
I promise.
Okay.
What are you doing here?
It's the middle of the night.
Do you think keeping a secret
is the same thing as lying?
It depends on the secret.
You be the judge of this one.
No. You're supposed
to kiss me passionately,
not laugh at me.
Um. Do you want
to run it again?
Yes. I mean, no.
Do you think I need to?
No. It was great.
All of it. Like...
like the whole scene.
Thank you.
Well good night, Juan.
Good night.
I'll see you in the morning.
Yeah.
Okay.
I look forward to it.
Mom? Mom.
Oh, right.
"A lovely thing about Christmas
"is that it's compulsory,
like a thunderstorm.
"And we all go
through it together."
Garrison Keillor.
Oh. Where is your
enthusiasm today?
I know we're
enthusiastically sleepy.
But carry on.
We're listening with
our eyes closed.
Our ears are open.
Okay. Well, great,
because I've decided
to skip Christmas this year
and not do a letter,
and we're all moving
to Puerto Rico.
Excellent idea, dear.
Which one exactly?
All of it.
What'd I miss?
We're moving to Puerto Rico.
- Oh. Jack.
- What?
You slept over?
Uh huh.
I got off work late.
And it was easier just
to come straight here.
Okay. Where were we?
Winter wonderland tour.
Wait. What is that?
Settie!
Settie Rose!
What have you done!
John, you're going to
take photos in the sleigh
just exit through the Rose yard.
Okay.
Hank set up some cones.
Poor Hank.
Any wonder you guys
were zombies this morning?
Totally worth it.
Hey.
I realized I hadn't seen
where the Christmas magic
is happening
since you're such a good writer.
I appreciate that.
What are these?
They're santos.
They represent Catholic saints.
They're beautiful.
My Abuelo would either make
one or buy one for me
every year since I moved in
with him and To Carlos.
But I've made one myself.
Can you guess which one?
This one.
What gave it away?
Oh, I just remembered.
I'm hosting book club today.
How long do we have?
Twenty minutes.
What book are we discussing?
- Yours.
- What?
But you won't be
discussing anything.
Come on.
Yeah.
Come on, Juan.
Okay, so tell me
again what happened.
The phone rang.
I answered.
The line went dead,
so I dialed back and then went
straight to voice message.
Esto no est bien.
Juan, I know you may want
to chime in,
but you have to stay away,
it's too risky.
I'll stay hidden,
I promise, but talk loudly.
I want to know why Sue
thinks I didn't quite cut it.
For me, it was more about
why Alma carried that heavy
burden for so long?
No, no, no, no.
She didn't want their pity.
She would rather die
than be pitied.
Eso, Ana, eso... muy bien!
No matter which way you look
at it, she was self-centered.
Qu?!
Que!
It was unrealistic to me how
everyone forgave her so easily
during their last
Christmas together.
I mean, she never suffered
the consequences
for her own actions.
Room for one more bookworm.
Nope. No, because you
would have had...
Just finished thanks
to your insistence
that it is a work of genius.
Everyone must read.
That's a little overstated.
Just as you said, I was
hooked from beginning to end.
Also, I completely disagree
with your take
on Alma's character, so.
Enlighten me.
Alma was from... from
the fields, from the earth.
She reflected the very nature
of life in the country,
which can sometimes be
both nurturing and cruel.
Her deceptions created a balance
and provided for her
family and I, the author,
captured the true spirit
of faith and sacrifice.
Wow.
It's getting a bit
unctuous in here for me.
I'm going to the ladies room.
Oh, I finally found a
picture of him online.
No. Oh, no!
Don't look at it!
It will ruin the mystique.
That's it, Settie.
I've got it.
That's what I love
the most about the book.
The mystique.
Oh yes, the mystique.
Totally.
I want to tell her,
but the words are
too thick with shame.
I'm sorry, my love.
I'm not who you think I am.
I'm bound by the secrets
I carry.
My family will come for me soon.
And I will return to a life
in the shadows.
Oh.
The symbolism of that word.
I have to get back to Hank.
Oh!
The fake Garland is tacky.
I'll bring you a real
one from my florist.
- Oh.
- Goodbye, Sue.
And in my opinion, the
author definitely cut it.
Nicely played, Juan.
Sue always has the last word.
Dad.
"At Christmas,
all roads lead home".
Marjorie Holmes.
Okay, as you know,
tonight is the neighborhood
big star lighting party.
It's the event of the season,
but we need to
keep an eye on Sue.
We can never underestimate
the damage one woman can do.
And you are a shining
example of that, dear.
Okay, Juan, will you do me
the honor of reading the "Do".
Do?
"Be happy that the Rose
family Christmas letter
"will be the best one yet."
Don't change a thing about
our beautiful family.
Guess what?
What?
I got the part.
-What?
Yeah.
That's fantastic.
Are you serious?
What's fantastic!
I got a part in a local play.
That Juan help me rehearse for.
It's just a play, Mom.
It's not Broadway or anything.
Okay. It's just a play.
But you're in it, and
it's gonna be amazing!
And I can't wait
for opening night.
- Mom!
- You're gonna be so great.
I want the front row.
I want the whole front row.
Maybe he did freeze
to death after all.
As for the dying bird.
Sweet silence.
I made a special
recipe in honor of Juan.
I thought it would
be a nice surprise.
You're alive.
Oh. Oh!
Is that?
Abuelo?
To Carlos.
It's my family from Puerto Rico.
Incoming!
They finally come for you.
Yes. I know all about you
and your secrets, Juan.
What are you talking about, Sue?
I was suspicious from day one
when Lily's fianc suggested
I was the one
looking for trouble.
Now, I don't know how the Roses
got caught up in all of this,
but leave the rest
of us out of it.
They've come to take
Juan back to the family.
Who did?
The Mafia, that's who.
We thought he was
being held captive.
I saw what you wrote, Juan.
That you couldn't bring yourself
to tell Lily the truth.
Oh, thats...
I'll show you.
He deceived us all.
I think your imagination
is getting more deceptive
with age, Sue.
Maybe we should start
fact checking
your Christmas letters.
My letters are
100 percent truthful.
Your letters?!
I knew it.
I... I... I... provide
the material.
I will get to the bottom
of whatever
this nefarious charade is.
Come on, Hank.
You can't say I didn't warn you.
Bye.
Atta boy.
The mystery of the Holly
Hills cow is finally solved.
And now we know how Sue
kept that winning
streak all those years.
Enough about Sue.
Let's eat.
Parece que te has metido
en tremendo lio aqu.
S, hoy te lo explico,
pero primero te presenta a...
Abuelo, To Carlos. I want
to present you to Settie.
This is her husband, Paddy.
Her daughter, Lily.
Her wonderful parents,
Edith y Charles.
They have been my familia
for the last two weeks.
This is the perfect
Christmas surprise.
Juan has told us
so much about you.
Sorry. Do I smell lechn?
As a matter of fact, you do.
Oh!
Oi, Oi, Oi, Oi...
Muchsimas, gracias.
That is our favorite.
Mwah.
Viste?
We'll have to see if
it's as good as mine.
Oh, come on.
- All right, get a plate.
- Vamos.
Come on.
Thank you.
That was some
great food, wasn't it?
I love you.
I'm so happy your
family joined us.
Even if it was because they
thought we had kidnaped you.
Oh, honestly, this has turned
out to be
my favorite Christmas.
La ma tambin.
Oh!
Let's go inside.
Come on in.
How in the world did Sue think
you were part of the Mafia?
Oh. She just found some
pages from my new novel.
New novel?
Yeah.
Lily said something to me the
other day that made me realize
that I couldn't write your
letter or my new novel
without remembering
how it all began.
And seeing the good
in myself again.
And on that note, I
am pleased to present
the perfect Rose family
Christmas letter.
Hm.
Thank you.
And I'm sure it's perfect, Juan.
Except for one thing.
I didn't write it.
This letter was mine to write
from the beginning,
and I just needed someone
to show me the way
and help me find
the joy in it again.
I'm proud of you.
Now you just be sure and
dedicate your next book
to your muse, Settie Rose.
I wouldn't have
it any other way.
All right. To.
Quote of the day.
Familia y amigos son los
verdaderos regalos de la Navidad.
Yay, To!
Yay! Yay!
This Christmas has been
the best example of that.
Juan, our friendship with you
and your family is
a true Christmas gift.
And now for the Rose family
Christmas letter
written with love
by yours truly.
Dearest family and friends,
I must confess it was not my
intention to write this letter.
Honestly, I had lost touch
with the true meaning
of Christmas.
It's easy to do when you are
swept up in the blizzard
of trying to do Christmas right,
and you fail to see the beauty
in each individual snowflake.
Lily is fearlessly pursuing
her acting career
and will appear on stage
this spring
at the Holly Hills Theater.
Woo!
Jack and Bradley are newlyweds
and cherishing every moment
of their lives together.
Meanwhile, Paddy published
his first poem this year
in The Connecticut Whistle.
And my mom is keeping us
all in shape
with her silent disco parties.
All are welcome.
Of course she is.
Dad won first place
at last year's State Fair
mooing contest
and is practicing diligently
to add reindeer
to his repertoire.
Finally, in my desperation
to redeem myself,
I was ready to cheat our
way to the Wall of Fame
by hiring a professional writer
whose beautiful prose
was sure to make us shine.
Juan Rebolledo Snchez.
I knew it.
Juan helped me to fall in
love with how we do Christmas.
Without our flaws, we wouldn't
be perfectly who we are.
Yours truly, The Roses.
Oh, wait wait, wait.
There's a postscript.
Okay. P.S. I am
twinkling with delight
to announce
that Jack will be teaching
sculpture of the modernized
world 2.0. this winter.
Everyone sign up
at the clubhouse.
You didn't.
I did, I did. I did it!
That's beautiful, Settie.
Awe...
Settie, you might just have
a winner this year.
T'was the night
before Christmas.
Era la vspera de Navidad.
Y en todo lugar reinaba la paz.
No se escuchaba
ni un slo ruidito.
Not even a mouse.
- Or a cow.
- Or a reindeer.
Junto a la chimenea,
las medias colgaban.
It's fine.
It's fine.
It's okay.
Mmhmm.
Junto a la chimenea,
las medias colgaban.
Pues San Nicols
ya pronto esperaban.
Come on, Sam, I was just trying
to finally make
the Wall of Fame.
But here, I'll read you a
little bit so you understand.
It is indeed a spirit
stuffed Christmas
for the happiest clams
Rose clan.
We twinkle with
holiday delights.
And our luminous daughter
Lily is on deck
to joyfully allay any of
your employment urgencies.
She's unemployed again.
Yeah.
Settie, please, will you
just spare me the ending?
I am painfully familiar
with your masterpieces.
Oh.
Another Rose
Christmas letter disaster.
Honestly, I don't know
why she puts herself
through this every year.
Oh!
Do you know why my cousin Sue
has been selected
for the Wall of Fame
every single year?
Nepotism.
Prose.
Settie, you need to put
the P in the Rose,
and then you'll get...
prose.
Yes. Because trust me,
no amount of dressing
is going to salvage
the word salad
you just forced me to digest.
Okay, look, Sam, just grant me
a Christmas miracle
and give me my box
of letters back.
Absolutely not.
No. Once the elves have
received the letters,
they must be delivered.
It's not even real mail.
Just grab it, grab it, grab it.
But I will do this.
Your submission
for the Wall of Fame.
I'll return that
because I can't possibly
endure it a second time.
Merry Christmas.
Next.
Sam, we need to see
your special Christmas
shipping boxes.
- Oh, my Christmas boxes!
- Yeah.
Yes, they just came
in right over here.
We've got to hurry.
Everybody's been waiting.
Sorry, everybody.
I'll be with you soon.
Yes, yes, yes.
We've got a bunch of sizes.
Nice.
Oh. We also...
We've got those.
- Yeah.
- On the wall.
But I think these
are far superior.
What are you looking to send?
Um... Well, I have
a lot of gifts to send.
- Great display.
- It's a Christmas tree!
Got it!
Was anyone following us?
I hope not.
Go. Go. go, go!
Come on.
I'll explain later, Paddy!
Oh, this can't be good.
You did the right thing
getting those letters back.
It was even worse than
last year's Grinch theme.
Did we just aid and abet her?
How can I possibly
get in trouble
for taking something back
that was already mine? Anna,
- Mmm.
- I don't know.
But if I were you,
I'd burn the evidence
before Sue Taylor
gets wind of this.
Did you lock the door?
No.
Sue always barges in.
Isn't it suspicious that she's
made the Wall of Fame
for 18 years straight?
Not really.
Well, her travels
are adventurous.
Her daughter is a genius
and her letters are
beautifully written.
I think next year
will be my year
because Lily is going to Italy.
She got accepted into this
prestigious acting workshop
and Jack and Bradley
are getting married,
so I'm going to finally
have some decent material.
- Yeah.
- I love that for you.
I love it for me too.
Yeah.
Mom, dad, you don't need
to put every ornament we own
on the tree.
- Okay. Love you.
- Okay.
Oh.
No, no.
What do you think?
I think this year
we're going to get
one Christmas thing right
and that's the words
to that song.
Vernon.
The Christmas cookies.
Hi, mom.
Hi.
You're late.
I need you to take
off this vest,
because the last thing I
need is for Sue to find out
that my son was sentenced
to shoveling snow by
his neighborhood.
I can't believe the two of you
took a month long honeymoon
and didn't think about
maintaining your yard.
It was a simple miscommunication
with our lawn service.
Which is why I refuse
to pay the fine
and agreed to community service.
- Okay.
- Hi, Grandma.
Oh, no, no, no, no.
Paddy.
You have to take the lawn
ornaments out.
Sue thinks they're tacky,
and I don't want her to
report us to the committee.
Especially because this year,
we're finally going to make
the Wall of Fame.
You know, I thought after
last year's incident,
you decided to call it quits.
Well, whatever you do,
just remember to leave
me out of it, okay?
For another year?
Or forever.
Or at least until you let me
write my part for accuracy.
Mm. But I'm so excited to
share about your wedding.
It was so beautiful.
And one of the happiest
days of my life.
And it's the 20th anniversary
of the Wall of Fame.
Oh.
Bradley, help me convince him.
Can I not?
Incoming!
You didn't lock the door.
Knock, knock.
Oh.
Sue.
Hi. Hank.
Oh, I see Lily didn't make
it back yesterday as planned.
Did she meet a paramour or
just miss her flight again?
Oh, Victoria wanted to get some
tips for her trip to Italy.
Is she still traveling
with duffel bags?
You know, those are
a haven for bedbugs.
I hope we don't end up
with Christmas critters.
Too late for that.
Inner voice, dear.
It's a good thing
I brought Christmas cookies.
It looks and smells like
a Christmas shop
exploded in here.
What are you wearing?
Uh, a reflector vest.
Because he's volunteering
as a crossing guard.
Oh.
Well, this has been lovely.
We have a lot to do.
Oh, you most certainly do.
At least the outside is
finally looking decent.
Okay. See you tonight.
5:00 p.m. sharp
Christmas Bingo.
Enjoy the cookies.
Poor Hank.
You can do this.
Let's go.
We are gonna write
a Christmas letter.
I got it, I got it.
First, we're gonna have
a cup of tea.
We are typing words and things.
Paddy, can I get a snack?
A very Merry Christmas
to our friends and family.
We rang in this year
by turning our dream
of early retirement
into a reality.
This is the moment.
Okay. All right.
Here we go.
Are you ready?
Are you ready?
We got this.
Happy Holidays.
Shngn ji kuil.
Frohe Weihnachten.
What a year it's been.
I traveled to both China
and Germany before diving
into the world of pivot
and online dating.
Uh, why don't you
have words on you.
In a one-horse open sleigh.
But much better.
Uh, why don't you let me take a
crack at the letter this year?
No, no, no, I can I can be
your little ghostwriter.
I think we're going to need
an expert
to convince Holly Hills
we belong on that wall.
I just can't seem
to get it right.
I feel like I failed as
the matriarch of this family.
That is ridiculous.
You know, the more I try,
the worse it gets.
What I need is him.
The author of
this book, Juan Snchez.
That's even more ridiculous.
No. It's perfect.
It's time to put the P in Rose.
I need prose that can make
standing at the edge
of a toxic waste dump
sound eloquent and enchanting.
I mean, surely he could do
something with our family.
I wouldn't count on it.
Why him?
Well, his writing is exquisite.
For once, my book club selection
is better than Sue's.
I didn't realize book
club was a competition.
Are you kidding me?
Sue always has to come first.
That has been her claim to
fame ever since they moved in.
Did you know that she
even induced labor
so her Victoria would
be born before my Lily?
All right, well, we better
induce our departure soonish
if we're going to get to
the party by 5:00 sharp.
Okay.
Partridge.
Oh.
Hey. What's
happening with Lily?
Did you ever find out why
she missed her flight?
No. But I hope she's fallen
in love
and convinced him
to spend Christmas with us.
Oh, if anyone could do
that in one month's time,
it's Lily.
True. Her life is like a
collection of romance novels.
More like short stories,
but without the happy ending.
Mrs. Claus.
Speaking of books, I
absolutely love Alma Cane.
Great pick.
Thank you.
Wait, you already finished it?
- Yes.
- Of course she did.
She's retired, and it
gives her an excuse
to not talk to her husband.
Adam and I have many
stimulating conversations.
And don't forget, Settie,
it's your turn to host
the meeting this month.
- Right.
- Sugarplum.
- Oh, bingo.
- Bingo.
You know, my rules Settie,
the first to call it wins.
Sue always wins.
I had it.
I know.
The forecast, cloudy
skies with flurries today.
You know what I like
best about this author, Paddy.
- Paddy?
- Mmhmm.
It's the way he makes
flawed people shine
with the stroke of a pen.
Paddy!
Oh, yeah.
Shiny pen strokes.
I am telling you,
Juan Snchez is the key
to bringing us out
of Sue's shadow.
We could even be
an inspiration to him.
- Maybe.
- Yeah.
Here's the thing. I think
he would really get us.
- Mmhmm.
- I do.
Okay.
Abuelo, baja la msica!
To Carlos, por favor.
Okay, okay.
Mira! Esa la mejor.
Oi, te dijo que no pusieras
ninguna fotografa.
La gente tiene que
recordar que l aun existe.
Look, a new message.
Good day, Mr. Snchez.
I'm a huge fan,
and I have a seasonal
job opportunity for you.
It would include coming
to my Connecticut home
for two festive weeks,
give or take.
Please let me know at
your earliest convenience.
Should we call her?
Misery.
Exacto!
Esto va a terminar
con su miseria.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
It's the name of that movie
about an American woman...
You and your movies.
This is a job.
An opportunity for him to get
inspired and write something.
Tampoco, tampoco. 'Kay.
Eso como que, vamos...
Gabriela...
Ah!!!!!
Call her.
Paddy!
You will not believe
what happened!
I heard back from Juan's people.
What?
The author.
The one you told me to
hire to be my ghostwriter.
What? I never said
any such thing.
Hmm.
Hm.
Okay, So when does he arrive?
Well, they didn't say for sure
if he's coming,
but I think I should clean
the guest room just in case.
Right?
Oh, and I'll use our
rainy day fund to pay for him.
Okay. I'm excited!
I knew I should have
used watercolors.
La cosa es que plantear en
alguna manera que no sea drstica.
Juan, we found a writing
job for you on Hot Gram.
Okay.
That's a no.
It's only two weeks, and it
will bring some extra cash.
And a change of scenery will
help with your writer's block.
The voices are
not coming to you.
I'm working through it.
How?
Because your agent is
calling every day,
going, can I get
something... anything?
The second book is
always the hardest.
Juan, they're going to ask
for that advance back.
Which we already spent.
What's the job?
It's some kind of family
Christmas story
about redemption.
Remember those stories
you used to write for
your grandma every year?
She always looked forward
to them.
They were about a little crab
that somehow always managed
to get entangled in
Santa Claus' fishing net
while he was flying over
Puerto Rico,
delivering presents
and scooping up fish
to make bacalaitos.
Las aventuras y desventuras de
Chacho, el cangrejo de Navidad.
Chacho. Yes.
She loved those stories.
And she looked forward
to them every Christmas.
You know...
maybe this is her...
from heaven.
Casting your net
for you to grab on to
it and be swept away, Juanito.
La extrao mucho.
Yeah. Me too.
Maybe I could use a change
of scenery.
So where is Chacho
going this Christmas, hm?
Connecticut.
And when does he get swept away?
- Maana.
- Maana.
Maana?
First and last
time I do a shared ride.
How much longer do you think...
Can you hold this, please?
Great.
I'm Lily.
I'm tired.
Oh. Here. I only had one sip.
This should do the trick.
It's a quad.
You're vacation or business?
- Business.
- Huh.
And you?
I live here.
I'm just returning from Italy.
I surprised my family by
arriving a few days late.
Shouldn't it be the other
way around?
All hands are on deck, skipper.
All right, let's go.
- Hurry, hurry, hurry! Quick!
- Here we go.
We gotta hang up the side.
All right. Ready?
Let's have a look.
Oh.
Tangle-free guaranteed.
Congratulations, Lily.
So, what are we
congratulating her for?
It's supposed to say
welcome home, Lily.
Oh, well.
That's disappointing.
Uh. Ride share.
Be there soon.
All right, all hands on deck.
Let's go. Let's go. Okay.
I'll get started with the food.
Uh, no.
- I'll, uh.
- Okay.
I'll help Paddy.
Get a marker.
Where's the duct tape?
Nice to meet you, Tired.
Happy holidays.
You can actually call me Chacho.
It's nice to meet you too, Lily.
Oh, um wait. It's...
You forgot.
I don't know what you got
gotten yourself into, Juan.
But this is your
final destination too.
Here.
Oh, my girl, my girl.
I miss you.
Oh, my gosh!
Look at you.
You look so beautiful.
How was it?
Oh, it was... good.
- An Italian boyfriend.
- What?
Is this the surprise?
Um... arrivederci.
Um, buongiorno.
Oh, my goodness. Thank you.
It's so nice of you.
They're beautiful.
What's your name?
Whose name?
Oh, Lily's Italian boyfriend.
I'm not Italian.
And he's not my boyfriend.
- His name is Chacho.
- Juan Rebolledo Snchez.
You gave me a fake name?
It's fictional, actually.
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God, you really here?
I can't believe it.
Oh my goodness.
Do you know him?
I can't believe you came.
Of course I know him.
This is Juan, I hired him.
This is so beautiful.
I think I'm going to cry.
Finally. It's
a Christmas miracle.
Hi. And I love
a good surprise, Juan.
But if we had known
you were coming today,
we would have planned
a better welcome party.
Wait, they didn't tell you?
Settie, what exactly
is going on?
Incoming!
Oh, God.
- Knock, knock.
- Oh, God.
Paddy, I couldn't help but
notice on my morning walk
that you placed this outside
and obviously it wasn't
approved by the committee.
Nope. An unapproved
lawn ornament.
Who are you?
Uh, this is Juan.
Where'd he come from?
The airport.
Is he Italian?
Nope. Not Italian.
We invited him here
for the holidays.
Right, Juan?
I was invited,
and it is the holidays. Yes.
Congratulations, Lily.
Oh, unbelievable.
Last year, Lily was
chasing one out the door.
Now she's dragging one in.
Don't tell me love
at first sight again.
At least I still have
the same dress I wore
to her last engagement party.
I hope you know what you've
gotten yourself into.
You know what, Sue?
Juan proposed to Lily.
Another Christmas miracle.
They met traveling,
and Lily wanted to surprise us.
You know me always
full of surprises, right Juan?
Mhm.
From day one.
Mm. Too bad you quit writing
Christmas letters, Settie.
This could have been your year.
Actually, Sue, I'm going
to try it again.
You know, for the 20th
anniversary and all.
Oh. Well, the Roses
need some redemption
after last year's debacle.
Well, this has been lovely.
We're anticipating making
another appearance
on the Wall of Fame
thanks to Victoria's Triple
P's promotion, Paris
and can anyone guess the third?
Prison?
Pregnancy.
I told you I'd be the first
to have a grandchild.
- Ciao.
- Ciao.
Ciao.
What just happened?
Welcome to Holly Hills.
The fiancee's from Italy?
First of all, the fianc thing,
Sue came up with
that on her own.
I just simply got caught up
in the moment
with the flowers and
the banner and the whatnots.
Okay. Backing up.
Who is he?
And what exactly
is he doing here?
He is the author of Alma Cane
and I took your dad's advice
and hired him to write our
Christmas letter this year.
He's going to make us shine.
In my defense, I offered
my own services
and was rejected in favor
of Juan.
So I traveled all this way
to write a Christmas card.
Letter.
It's been a Holly Hills
tradition for 20 years.
Oh, the desperation to get
on that wall is palpable.
It would be like winning
the Nobel Prize
for literature around here.
I think there's been
a misunderstanding.
Sadly, Juan there hasn't.
Okay. Writing
a Christmas letter
is an overlooked art form,
and you're just going
to be so good at it.
Our guest room is upstairs
on the right,
and there's extra blankets
at the foot of the bed and...
Yeah, go, go.
Um, what was my surprise?
Oh, fancy truffle face cream.
Oh.
Probably more exciting
before I got engaged.
- Oh, no, it's still exciting.
- That's okay.
I love face creams.
Merry morning, Juan.
I hope you slept well.
I left you a Christmas onesie.
Put it on and come down
for breakfast.
I'll be right down.
Can't wait.
Onesie?
All right, let's make
him feel welcome.
No inappropriate comments,
please, mother.
And also, don't talk about Jack.
Why not?
You heard him.
He said, and I quote,
I don't ever want to be
in another Christmas letter
for as long as I live.
Oh.
Well, you can't blame him
for not wanting you
to fictionalize his life.
What?
He's so funny.
- Oh.
- I'm sorry.
No. I'm sorry.
At least you make it look cute.
My thoughts exactly.
About you I mean, not me.
It could be worse.
Oh, it will be.
Here they are.
- Oh, good morning...
- Good morning.
...sleepyheads, hi.
All right, Juan, you sit
right here.
Okay.
And this is just a little
eggnog Christmas blend.
Okay. Okay.
Every morning, to help Juan
with his work,
we're going to gather here for
a little Christmas inspiration
and go over the basics of
Christmas letter writing.
I'm really here to write
a Christmas card.
A letter, Juan.
Letter.
Okay. We're also going
to go over
upcoming Holly Hills happenings.
Oh, I got it, honey.
I got it.
Good.
Okay.
First item of business.
Drum roll.
Ta da!
Quote of the day.
The snuggliest of
holiday snuggles
starts with seasonal onesies.
Settie Rose.
Oh, we have a question, Juan.
Um. I can barely breathe
in this, much less snuggle.
Yes, well, it belonged
to my ex-fiance,
who was a runt.
And a rat.
And who dumped Lily right
before the holidays last year.
You should have
just given him Jack.
Jackie... our cousin
who visited last year.
Don't have it.
Moving on.
All right, Juan, you have
an interview schedule.
It starts on the 12th.
If you're going to write
this letter,
you got to get to know everyone.
And I've got some Wall of Fame
letters for you
for your research.
Lastly. All right, buddy,
pay attention.
This is for you. Okay.
Pay attention.
All right. Reminder
of the day
when writing
your Christmas letters,
don't be so cheerful
as to come off garish.
Burning!
My buns!
Oh, it's fine.
Is this normal?
Any questions?
Okay. Further planning
for Lily and Juan.
I signed you up to help
decorate the clubhouse
later this week.
Teamwork makes the dream work.
Oh, gosh. All right.
And you two, you got
to bond quickly.
Got to be birds of a feather.
Cheerful couple. Right?
Especially when Sue's around.
Mhm.
Like two peas in a pod.
Oh, and, Juan, you are lucky
because Lily took an
acting workshop in Italy.
Mmhmm.
These are
my famous cinnamon buns.
Yay, yay, yay.
A secret family recipe.
Oh! Oh!
Dig in.
Oh, here, let me
get that anyway.
Yeah, yeah. Dig in.
Uh.
Okay. Yeah.
Look at these beautiful flowers
for the new couple...
from Sue.
Form Sue.
All right.
Does anyone else want
more Christmas blend? Huh?
Thank you, Sue.
Ho ho ho!
Where is he going?
Maybe we're coming
on a little too strong.
The fianc ruse.
Bad Christmas coffee.
The ex-fiance's onesie.
Mm.
Well, it's clearly not a onesie.
Juan.
Hey. Please don't go.
Look, I know I agreed to this,
but I don't want to be part of
this game that you're playing.
Well, it's not a game.
- I write novels.
- Yeah.
I'm a novelist who...
Who could use this experience
to help him with
his writer's block.
Writer's block?
I had a very nice talk
about you with your Abuelo.
He's such a sweet man.
And, you know, he just wants
to see you happy again.
You don't know the first
thing about me.
My writing,
how stories are written.
And how do you plan
on explaining
why there is no wedding
at the end of all of this?
Lily's reputation for
catch and release romances.
She just loves love.
And what about your
reputation if they find out?
My reputation?
Trust me, Juan, it could only
improve it at this point.
Especially when it comes
to the Christmas letter.
Also, I just want to apologize
that my lack of planning
made things snowball a bit.
It's more like an avalanche.
Listen up.
If we lose Juan,
we need a Plan B.
This has to be her year.
I'm still trying to wrap
my brain around
how Juan became Plan A.
As if you've never acted
on a harebrained idea.
Lily's right.
Ever since we moved here,
Settie's been trying
to get us on that Wall of Fame.
And what have we done to help?
We've told her to stop caring,
but she cares because
she thinks we're worth it.
And she has never given up
on us.
And we are never giving up
on her.
Plan B on three.
One. Two. Three.
Plan B?
Wait, do we have a Plan B?
Still Juan.
Settie, I came here
because I can't write.
And I hired you
because I know you can.
Look, year after year,
I have tried to bring
the deep beauty
and the potential of my family
to the surface
for everyone to see.
That's why this year
I cast a wider net
in hopes of catching you.
Oh, incoming.
Trouble in paradise already?
Mi Abuela used to say
that those who go looking
for trouble are up to no good.
Oh.
What's your name again?
Sue Taylor.
Unofficial mayor of Holly Hills.
Tread carefully, Juan.
We wouldn't want another
breakup so close to Christmas.
Did you see her salivating
at the thought of
your unhappiness?
I know 'cause she's a real...
I'm not going to say it.
Oh and next year
I'll be picking
for December book Club.
The authors you choose
never quite cut it.
I'll see you at the
wreath-making competition.
Okay.
Uh, closing lines
are her specialty.
Opening lines are my specialty.
I will write you that letter,
and it will make her weep
with envy
because you have caught
the right crab.
That's the spirit.
Oh, Juan, we are gonna
make such a great team.
You're gonna be
so happy you're joining
the Roses this Christmas,
I promise.
Sue is going down.
Yes.
I will do this.
Oh!
But I have conditions.
Anything?
This onesie.
It's actually kind of
nice in the cold, but...
I'll need my own.
And not one previously
bought for a runt rat.
That's fair.
Done.
And I take my coffee black.
No blends.
Just plain black coffee.
Noted.
Served in a Christmas mug.
I'll agree to that.
Good.
Jumping back into the dating
world has been invigorating.
There's nothing like sharing
your favorite hobbies
with someone for the first time.
Namaste.
I'm ready to...
Transition from a life
built around work
to a life built around
one another.
No.
Please. No.
No, that doesn't even
sound good.
Retirement helps to connect
you to your true purpose.
Yeah.
Okay, amigos.
We'll start by trying to
capture the festive sights,
sounds, tastes and smells
of the Rose family home
at Christmas.
Juan!
We'll try capturing
the tone instead.
Everyone, time for the
wreath making competition.
Okay, Mom more holly.
And Paddy trim the boxwood.
Yeah.
Eso, this one.
Lily, the bow.
The bow, the bow!
Okay.
We need something else.
Hurry, hurry, hurry!
Yes, yes, yes!
Ah!
Let's hear it for third place.
This year we do have
an honorable mention.
It goes to... number four.
Oh! Oh, that's us.
It's us.
Oh, come on, come on!
That's us! It's us!
Come here.
Come on, come on.
Oh, wow. Wow.
This is so unexpected.
There are so many people
to thank. Ah!
It's only an honorable mention.
Oh. I should start
by introducing
our very special guest, Juan.
Juan get up here!
No, no, not special.
Yes, you are.
Juan is Lily's fianc,
whom we are delighted
to have joined our
family this Christmas.
Is that Sue's mini-me.
The one and only Victoria,
named after...
The Roman goddess of victory.
I can't believe
they won something.
I can't believe
Lily's engaged again.
Knowing Lily, she met
him at the airport.
Let's see if he lasts a week.
So where in Italy
did you guys meet?
We met in Venice
at a tango class.
The dance of love.
Sounds like something
out of a movie.
How romantic.
It's almost too romantic.
We spotted each other
from across the ballroom.
And what began as being partners
for a night turned
into partners for life.
Oh.
So show us some of your moves.
Hank and I love a good tango.
No.
- I am just gonna go...
- Yes.
No, no, no, no.
Do you know how
to tango by chance?
No, but I'm guessing
you don't either.
No, but just follow my lead,
I am great at improvising.
Oh!
Tango.
Do it.
Aye.
Okay, final dip.
Calling that
a tango is a stretch.
We just took one class, so
we still have a lot to learn.
Mmhmm.
That was so fun.
You did so great.
From now on, you take my lead.
Which will be rational,
not risky.
What's so risky about that?
Worst case scenario, they
think we're terrible dancers.
Who cares?
I care.
Humiliation just
isn't my idea of fun.
I am not like you, Lily.
Clearly.
You could stand
to loosen up a little.
That was like dancing
with a cardboard cutout.
Out for a breath of frigid air.
I was just looking
for the... bathroom.
Oh.
And you?
Looking for you.
That was quite
the disappearing act.
I wanted to apologize for
being a little too impulsive.
Subtlety isn't my specialty.
Apology accepted.
And thank you, by the way.
For what?
Apparently, subtlety
is your specialty.
And we have our first
ever honorable mention.
That may have more to do
with my competitive streak.
Something your mother
and I have in common.
Oh, I see.
Competitive.
My peace offering.
- Thank you.
- And you want?
No, no.
Your mother
says you're an actress.
Aspiring.
I haven't really acted in
anything since college,
but I was
happiest during those days.
I love being part of
a story that wasn't my own.
I've auditioned for a few
things here and there,
the only gigs I've landed
are embarrassing infomercials.
Yeah?
You know, hair removal, hair
growth, specialty dentures,
that sort of thing.
I know what those are.
My To Carlos loves them.
Is that...
Is that why you went to Italy?
No, that's not why I went.
But, um, let's just say
Italy wasn't what I expected.
What about you?
Why did you take this gig?
I needed a change of scenery.
Hm?
Your thoughts so far?
Mm. Let's see.
In the span of two days,
I've been forced
into a fake engagement,
nearly suffocated by a onesie,
publicly humiliated
on a dance floor,
and then thrust into the stream
of your mother's desperation.
Desperate times call
for desperate measures.
I don't mean that
as a criticism.
I'm just pointing out
we're all sort of
on the same page here.
Are you not drinking that?
No. It's a bit too sweet
for me.
Better than not sweet enough.
May I?
Mhm.
You have a little...
I know.
I meant to do that.
No, no, no, no.
It's just like when he went
to summer camp,
he's calling because
he wants to come home.
He's 32.
Okay, so we'll wait another day.
Then we'll call him.
Sorry, sorry,
sorry, sorry, sorry
I... Oh, thank you, thank you.
I like to compare
the holiday season
with the way a child
listens to a favorite story.
The pleasure is in the
familiar way the story begins.
Fred Rogers.
I love Fred.
This makes me think of
my Abuelo on Christmas Eve.
He always reads to us
The Night Before Christmas.
To To Carlos and I just
before midnight.
Yeah, dad did that, too.
And Paddy did it
for our children... child.
Yup.
We read it every year, and
I still look forward to it.
Well, speaking of special
moments, reminder of the day.
Do make a good story out
of the smallest moments.
And I have an example for you
from my favorite letter
from 2017.
We were
simply watching the snow fall,
but against the Italian Alps
it became the most
beautiful painting
in the entire world.
In... in an effort to
understand this genre,
I have identified the
strengths and common themes.
But none of them have to do
with Christmas.
Well, it's more about
inspiring people
during the Christmas season
to be the best version
of themselves.
When you say "best version",
do you mean fictional
or factual?
Because I've met some
of these people
and let's just say...
I'll get it.
I mean factual,
but you know, you take
the facts to the spa
and you pamper them and
you give them a little juje.
Okay.
Okay. Next item interviews
are up for you today.
You have Paddy and dad,
and tomorrow you
have Lily and my mom.
- That's great.
- Mmhmm.
Oh, and you two need to finish
the gingerbread house for the party.
Oh, right.
I have an order coming
with all the fixings.
You need to pick it up
right after this meeting.
Okay.
Mail's here.
Hmm.
Okay, here we go.
Okay.
It's Sue's letter.
Okay. Let's see.
Warm wishes to all as we
approach the winter solstice.
And invite the return
of the sun into our lives,
bearing new beginnings
and brighter days.
This doesn't sound like Sue.
Well, Sue is the best version
of herself in her letters.
One of the most beautiful...
Oh.
What?!
We have a lot of work to do.
Oh.
Lily!
Hi.
I'll handle this.
Victoria. Hello.
I was just leaving my moms,
saw you two
and said I've got to...
Find out how
the trip to Italy was.
Well, yes. I hardly got to
talk to you at wreath-making.
Obviously, it was...
Eventful, given I came back
several days later
than expected.
Eventful is an understatement.
I don't think there's a flight
Lily hasn't missed
and it's almost always
due to something, "eventful".
Why have you all not returned...
Your calls?
We were trying to work
out the holiday schedule.
She's been a little off today.
I think it'd be better if you
came back later in the week.
Things are a bit chaotic.
The letter, you know.
I've got to get going.
Ted and I are meeting
for brunch.
I'll have to tell him
I ran into the happy...
Italy definitely made me happy.
Let's talk soon.
Gotta get this
gingerbread house done.
Oh, sure.
Don't let me keep you.
It was nice to see you.
You too.
Take this in, please.
I'll be right behind you.
- Okay.
- Thank you so much.
Okay.
Who is that?
Mom's Christmas
letter redemption.
Ask her if you dare.
I do not.
Take this.
Bradley's mince pie.
Thank you.
- Oh.
- Who is that?
Oh, he's the housekeeper.
You know, he's like family.
He's just...
What is your favorite
memory of this past year?
Oh, my favorite...
my favorite memory.
Uh. Well, I would have
to say it was, uh,
when Settie was nominated
for the... the... the Olga
Van Wexler Service
to the Community award.
What is this?
I don't know.
Maybe some would say
a cheat sheet, but...
It's exactly what it is.
And you should know that I
have confiscated all of them.
What?
Hm.
Let's try that again.
My poem being published
in The Connecticut Whistle.
You write poetry?
Yeah.
Let's hear it.
My Poinsettia:
A portrait.
Petals are her body unfolding
with each passing year.
Sweet splendor of
soft moonbeams.
Fanning the flames
of forevermore.
Eternal embers
eclipsing eternity.
I didn't know he had that
in him.
Um. Who's next?
Your father.
Oh.
I finally retired last year.
Well, congratulations.
What an accomplishment.
You have no idea how hard it is
to live without purpose.
Can you find another purpose?
You know, that's
what Edith said as well.
I took her advice, and
I found a hobby on the Google.
- Close your eyes.
- Mmhmm.
Listen to this.
It's great. Ready?
That was amazing.
I'm telling you, Hank.
The Roses are housing
barn animals over there,
and it's just like them.
I'm certain they are not.
Leave it to my dad
to find the weirdest hobby
on the internet.
These tamales are
the highlight of my day.
Right? I told you.
What was the highlight
of Edith Rose's year?
Easy.
Discovering silent disco
on our dream cruise to Alaska.
What's silent disco?
The antidote to feeling old.
Here we go.
There you go.
So, uh... so what now?
Choose your channel and
dance like no one's watching.
What are you waiting for?
Here.
Oh.
I wasn't prepared for this.
Is this something
you prepare for, Juan.
You just let go and disco.
Mom, I told you what happens
on the cruise ship
stays on the cruise ship.
Lucky for us, Sue is still
at her spa day so maybe...
Okay. Let's get this
masterpiece started.
So, uh, what's the plan?
Following my intuition
at the moment.
Starting with the walls.
They're completely mismatched.
It's abstract.
Trust me. I learned
a long time ago
trying to do this the right way
only increases the pain
of failure.
I see.
But if you don't try at all,
or you jump from one thing
to the next
without actually making
an effort,
then you can avoid
failure altogether
because you
never actually tried.
So we're on the same page?
No. We're on opposite pages.
What are you doing?
We are going to start over.
And this time, give it our best.
Why would we do that?
It's just a gingerbread house.
Because you hide behind
this free-spirit philosophy.
But really, you want
to be good at something
and you cannot get good
at something
if you don't really try.
The bottom line is,
I cannot ever be
the talented and accomplished
daughter she dreams of having.
You already are, Lily.
For 20 years, she's tried
to embellish my life
in her Christmas letters,
Juan, so clearly I'm not.
Do you know why I like writing?
Hm.
Because I can be
in control of the story.
My parents died when
I was ten years old,
and it was totally
out of my control.
I'm so sorry, Juan.
It was a long time ago, and...
I was lucky I had my
grandparents and To Carlos
to get me through it.
And then when I was 19,
my Abuela died.
The reason why I'm telling you
this is...
is because sometimes
we need some help
getting through
the rough patches.
It's the reason why I came here.
You have to take control
of your own story, Lily.
The workshop in Italy
was my mom's idea.
I dropped out on the third day
because I didn't think
I could be as good
as the rest of the group.
I didn't want to bring
them down.
You didn't want
to bring them down,
or you didn't want to put
in the effort
to rise up to their level.
So what did you end up doing?
Well, I, uh, got swindled
by a modeling agency
who, in return
for my modest fee,
gave me a year's supply
of hair spritzer
from yet another infomercial so.
Okay. I don't know
what I'm doing.
What's our plan?
Well, now that we're actually
on the same page,
you tell me.
This is your house.
Thank you.
It feels really good
to finally tell someone
the truth.
You're welcome.
I'll tell you what.
You make the plan, and
I'll be quality control.
That sounds exactly
like something
my brother would say.
You're what?
Just give me one quick second.
On my way.
Okay.
All right.
Okay.
Okay.
Sorry I'm late.
Ah!!!
It's nice to see you, too, mom.
I guess the jig
is up on Cousin Jackie.
You did say you
didn't want to be
in another letter ever again.
That was before I found out
you hired
a professional writer
and told Sue
he was Lily's fianc.
You are really outdoing
yourself this Christmas, Mom.
Sue came up with that,
and I felt like I had
to run with it.
Uh-huh.
Juan, these are for you.
Pan de Mallorca.
I've been missing these so much.
- Muchas gracias!
- Oh, thank you.
I can't believe I didn't
think of that.
And I can't believe you
didn't tell him about me.
Or me about him.
I think you're making a blizzard
out of a few snowflakes.
I guess those must have been
some very big snowflakes, huh?
Let's tell Juan about
the snowflakes, shall we?
One example I happened to
mention one time in passing
that I had been thinking
about taking up sculpture.
The next thing I know, I'm
reading her a Christmas letter,
only to discover that
I will be teaching
a sculpture in the
modernized world class
at the Holly Hills
Recreation Center.
I made up that title, so.
Teaching that class was
harder than my full-time job.
I had never sculpted
anything in my life.
Well, now you have.
Look at this beauty.
I love it.
I think teaching is the
best way to learn something.
And you're always telling me
that you want to do
these things,
but you don't do them.
So I'm just giving
you a little nudge.
And it worked.
I think part of you loved
teaching that class.
Okay. Now that we've all
properly been introduced,
can we continue
with the meeting?
And, Jack, you get
to do quote of the day.
"I will honor Christmas
in my heart
"and try to keep it
all the year."
Charles Dickens.
A Christmas Carol is one
of Abuelo's favorite films.
So this is your first time
being away for the holidays?
Actually, yeah.
Oh.
I wish we could meet them.
Oh, they would love you.
All of you, to meet you all.
Speaking of movies,
am I getting a little
Sandy Bullock in The
Proposal thing from you or?
No.
Oh, no.
You know what?
Lily and Juan are just
doing an excellent job
of keeping our ruse going.
Speaking of which, um, I would
like the letter, Juan,
to go out on the 19th.
Absolutely not.
Um, we mail it on the 21st
to capitalize on
the Christmas mood.
You haven't started it yet,
have you?
- Of course.
- Of course he has.
We will not fall to the
house of Sue this year.
Nope.
The deeper I went into
the online dating escapades,
the more I realized
just how many
splendid fish there are
in the sea.
Even if I don't catch
one this year,
I'll keep tossing out my line,
because sooner or later,
the right one will come along.
In the meantime...
Adam and I have decided
to fill some of our
glorious retirement time
volunteering together
for worthy causes.
This decision has brought us
great joy and fulfillment.
Okay, my friends,
what's the first line?
I just need the perfect
first line
and it will unlock
the whole letter.
Please give me this
one Christmas miracle.
Chucho has to return home
a better crab or the
story is not complete.
That's it!
The story isn't complete.
Muchas gracias, amigos!
Okay.
Settie.
Yeah.
I've been thinking
a lot about this,
and I cannot finish my letter
without interviewing you.
Okay, where do you want to know?
What is your favorite part
about Christmas
with your family?
Chestnuts roasting
on an open fire.
Something that doesn't come
from a Christmas carol.
How about just
what's your favorite part
of this past year?
Lily's surprise engagement.
Why can't you give me
a real answer?
Don't you value your family?
Of course I value my family.
That's why I hired you.
They think you hired me
because they're not good enough.
Did Lily say that?
Not in those exact words,
but yes.
You know, she used
to tell me everything.
I haven't even heard about
Italy or the workshop.
Did she talk to you about that?
She did.
Those are her stories to tell
when she's ready.
The truth is, more and more
I get obsessed
around the holidays.
I get caught up in this
whirlwind of trying
to create the perfect Christmas
that we'll all remember
and be remembered by.
Anyways, once you write me
the perfect letter,
I can call it quits.
Settie, they are perfect
the way they are.
Full of love.
My flowers?
Your family.
And that includes you.
Ta da!
I finally finished.
It's perfect.
It's full of love.
It's a little wonky.
I've assigned you
and your fianc
to the luminaries is outside.
Not bad.
Lily made it.
Well, I've known Lily
her whole life,
and she's always
had two left hands.
You're lucky to have Juan
on your team... for now.
I am sorry, just...
come on.
What?
I didn't think you'd be
this susceptible
to the Sue Taylor effect.
I don't like how
she treats you, you're family.
She's actually a Grinch
in Santa's clothing.
Yeah, she can be
a little grumpy.
Kind of like you
when we first met, Chacho.
I told you that
wasn't a fake name?
That's not your name.
Yes and no.
Chacho is a crab who is,
incidentally, very crabby.
And every Christmas, his
life got turned upside down
and he was given a chance
to become a better crab.
My Abuela loved those stories
because she always
saw the best in people,
unlike me.
That's not true.
You see the best in my mom
and our family,
and I even think deep down
you see the best in Sue,
just like I do.
Huh, no.
The truth is,
it's time for you
to stop being a perfectionist
and see the best
in yourself, too.
Mm. Two left hands.
Now, Part 1 of my conversation
with Juan Rebolledo Snchez.
Isn't that...
The reclusive author of
the critically acclaimed...
- No, no, no, no...
- ...Alma Cane.
Tell me about
your writing process.
Well, I really try not to
think of it as a process.
It makes the whole art
of writing sound sterile.
Of course, I'm superstitious
like all writers.
Sorry.
But I will share that
I start with my yellow pad.
I just like the feeling...
Piper! You are killing
the Christmas spirit.
Sorry everyone.
I forgot about the music
and clicked on the interview.
Why won't this turn off?
Does he sound familiar?
Jingle bells,
jingle bells.
Santa is coming soon.
Oh, what fun it is to ride...
Snow is falling down.
You don't know the lyrics
to this song?
I do, I did.
Jingle bells,
jingle bells.
Jingle all the way.
That was so fun.
I need my lucky socks.
It's time for you to stop
being a perfectionist
and see the best
in yourself, too.
I left home with a knife
in my pocket and $1.
I didn't know that the
moon held more than dust.
It held nightmares
carved into dreams.
Or was it the other way around?
"Christmas is doing a little
something extra for someone,"
Charles M. Schulz.
I'm excited to finally
come to one of these.
Jack won't admit it,
but he loves them.
I love them too.
I'm going to miss this
when the season's over.
We've all come to look
forward to this time together.
We haven't had s'mores for
breakfast since we were kids.
Mmm-mmm. I'm sorry,
but these are better
than your cinnamon buns.
I suspected that was the reason
you walked out on us that day.
No, that wasn't the reason, no.
One never forgets
their first encounter
with a family recipe.
It's true.
Can I see you for a moment?
Yeah, of course.
I was hoping you would
grant me a second interview.
Of course.
Okay.
The thing I love most
about Christmas
is the joy it brings out
in our family.
We're not great at it,
but we love it
with all our heart.
And I know my enthusiasm for
the season can be a tad much,
but it feels fleeting
and I just want it
to last a little bit longer.
I've really enjoyed getting
to know your family.
Lily.
No, not all of you.
And your enthusiasm
is not too much.
It's infectious.
Thank you so much
for staying with us.
I will always consider
you as part of our family.
Well, thank you.
And you are right. I am glad
I am spending Christmas
with the Roses this year.
I knew it.
We're fun.
Once upon a time, on a tree
lined street in Holly Hills,
there lived a wonderful family.
And while we may tangle
the lights, burn the cookies
and decorate the Christmas tree
until it can barely stand up...
We always get Christmas
right in our hearts.
Paddy...
Um, what's in the shed?
Nothing.
We don't talk about the shed.
Because there's
nothing to talk about.
All right, you guys got this
'cause I have to run an errand.
Stay out of trouble.
Your mom changed the combo.
Did you try your birthday?
Right.
June 12th.
Fifth.
Fifth.
Whoa!
It's a reindeer.
A sleigh.
These are amazing.
Why aren't they on full display?
Sue and her committee.
Yeah. Lawn ornaments
are tacky
and not suitable for our
traditional neighborhood.
Why does everyone listen to her?
I think it goes back to the PTA.
She was president for all
12 years I was in school.
Everyone knows it's just easier
to do what she says
than go up against her.
Yeah.
Well, I think it's time
for new leadership
and new traditions.
Agreed. Sue can pound sand.
We meet tomorrow at midnight.
Call Jack.
We need all hands on deck.
I got the door.
Okay. Great, great.
- Inner voice.
- Bring it in, all right?
Thanks for being
our fearless leader.
Remember, we save
the sleigh for last.
Yes!
Whoa!
- Let's go.
- Okay.
Come on.
Let's go.
Let's go!
Sh-sh-sh!
Sh-sh-sh...
Huh?
- We're good.
- Okay.
- Yeah.
- Alright.
- Follow me everyone.
- This is crazy.
That was fun.
Are you okay?
I have an audition
tomorrow for a play.
That's awesome.
Do you need help
preparing for it?
I ran through
the scenes a couple times.
Usually I just try to show
up and be in the moment.
But if you're up for it.
I'll help you.
You know, we've been at
this for over an hour.
You're maybe taking this
new preparation thing
a little too far.
I even know the lines.
Last scene, one more time,
I promise.
Okay.
What are you doing here?
It's the middle of the night.
Do you think keeping a secret
is the same thing as lying?
It depends on the secret.
You be the judge of this one.
No. You're supposed
to kiss me passionately,
not laugh at me.
Um. Do you want
to run it again?
Yes. I mean, no.
Do you think I need to?
No. It was great.
All of it. Like...
like the whole scene.
Thank you.
Well good night, Juan.
Good night.
I'll see you in the morning.
Yeah.
Okay.
I look forward to it.
Mom? Mom.
Oh, right.
"A lovely thing about Christmas
"is that it's compulsory,
like a thunderstorm.
"And we all go
through it together."
Garrison Keillor.
Oh. Where is your
enthusiasm today?
I know we're
enthusiastically sleepy.
But carry on.
We're listening with
our eyes closed.
Our ears are open.
Okay. Well, great,
because I've decided
to skip Christmas this year
and not do a letter,
and we're all moving
to Puerto Rico.
Excellent idea, dear.
Which one exactly?
All of it.
What'd I miss?
We're moving to Puerto Rico.
- Oh. Jack.
- What?
You slept over?
Uh huh.
I got off work late.
And it was easier just
to come straight here.
Okay. Where were we?
Winter wonderland tour.
Wait. What is that?
Settie!
Settie Rose!
What have you done!
John, you're going to
take photos in the sleigh
just exit through the Rose yard.
Okay.
Hank set up some cones.
Poor Hank.
Any wonder you guys
were zombies this morning?
Totally worth it.
Hey.
I realized I hadn't seen
where the Christmas magic
is happening
since you're such a good writer.
I appreciate that.
What are these?
They're santos.
They represent Catholic saints.
They're beautiful.
My Abuelo would either make
one or buy one for me
every year since I moved in
with him and To Carlos.
But I've made one myself.
Can you guess which one?
This one.
What gave it away?
Oh, I just remembered.
I'm hosting book club today.
How long do we have?
Twenty minutes.
What book are we discussing?
- Yours.
- What?
But you won't be
discussing anything.
Come on.
Yeah.
Come on, Juan.
Okay, so tell me
again what happened.
The phone rang.
I answered.
The line went dead,
so I dialed back and then went
straight to voice message.
Esto no est bien.
Juan, I know you may want
to chime in,
but you have to stay away,
it's too risky.
I'll stay hidden,
I promise, but talk loudly.
I want to know why Sue
thinks I didn't quite cut it.
For me, it was more about
why Alma carried that heavy
burden for so long?
No, no, no, no.
She didn't want their pity.
She would rather die
than be pitied.
Eso, Ana, eso... muy bien!
No matter which way you look
at it, she was self-centered.
Qu?!
Que!
It was unrealistic to me how
everyone forgave her so easily
during their last
Christmas together.
I mean, she never suffered
the consequences
for her own actions.
Room for one more bookworm.
Nope. No, because you
would have had...
Just finished thanks
to your insistence
that it is a work of genius.
Everyone must read.
That's a little overstated.
Just as you said, I was
hooked from beginning to end.
Also, I completely disagree
with your take
on Alma's character, so.
Enlighten me.
Alma was from... from
the fields, from the earth.
She reflected the very nature
of life in the country,
which can sometimes be
both nurturing and cruel.
Her deceptions created a balance
and provided for her
family and I, the author,
captured the true spirit
of faith and sacrifice.
Wow.
It's getting a bit
unctuous in here for me.
I'm going to the ladies room.
Oh, I finally found a
picture of him online.
No. Oh, no!
Don't look at it!
It will ruin the mystique.
That's it, Settie.
I've got it.
That's what I love
the most about the book.
The mystique.
Oh yes, the mystique.
Totally.
I want to tell her,
but the words are
too thick with shame.
I'm sorry, my love.
I'm not who you think I am.
I'm bound by the secrets
I carry.
My family will come for me soon.
And I will return to a life
in the shadows.
Oh.
The symbolism of that word.
I have to get back to Hank.
Oh!
The fake Garland is tacky.
I'll bring you a real
one from my florist.
- Oh.
- Goodbye, Sue.
And in my opinion, the
author definitely cut it.
Nicely played, Juan.
Sue always has the last word.
Dad.
"At Christmas,
all roads lead home".
Marjorie Holmes.
Okay, as you know,
tonight is the neighborhood
big star lighting party.
It's the event of the season,
but we need to
keep an eye on Sue.
We can never underestimate
the damage one woman can do.
And you are a shining
example of that, dear.
Okay, Juan, will you do me
the honor of reading the "Do".
Do?
"Be happy that the Rose
family Christmas letter
"will be the best one yet."
Don't change a thing about
our beautiful family.
Guess what?
What?
I got the part.
-What?
Yeah.
That's fantastic.
Are you serious?
What's fantastic!
I got a part in a local play.
That Juan help me rehearse for.
It's just a play, Mom.
It's not Broadway or anything.
Okay. It's just a play.
But you're in it, and
it's gonna be amazing!
And I can't wait
for opening night.
- Mom!
- You're gonna be so great.
I want the front row.
I want the whole front row.
Maybe he did freeze
to death after all.
As for the dying bird.
Sweet silence.
I made a special
recipe in honor of Juan.
I thought it would
be a nice surprise.
You're alive.
Oh. Oh!
Is that?
Abuelo?
To Carlos.
It's my family from Puerto Rico.
Incoming!
They finally come for you.
Yes. I know all about you
and your secrets, Juan.
What are you talking about, Sue?
I was suspicious from day one
when Lily's fianc suggested
I was the one
looking for trouble.
Now, I don't know how the Roses
got caught up in all of this,
but leave the rest
of us out of it.
They've come to take
Juan back to the family.
Who did?
The Mafia, that's who.
We thought he was
being held captive.
I saw what you wrote, Juan.
That you couldn't bring yourself
to tell Lily the truth.
Oh, thats...
I'll show you.
He deceived us all.
I think your imagination
is getting more deceptive
with age, Sue.
Maybe we should start
fact checking
your Christmas letters.
My letters are
100 percent truthful.
Your letters?!
I knew it.
I... I... I... provide
the material.
I will get to the bottom
of whatever
this nefarious charade is.
Come on, Hank.
You can't say I didn't warn you.
Bye.
Atta boy.
The mystery of the Holly
Hills cow is finally solved.
And now we know how Sue
kept that winning
streak all those years.
Enough about Sue.
Let's eat.
Parece que te has metido
en tremendo lio aqu.
S, hoy te lo explico,
pero primero te presenta a...
Abuelo, To Carlos. I want
to present you to Settie.
This is her husband, Paddy.
Her daughter, Lily.
Her wonderful parents,
Edith y Charles.
They have been my familia
for the last two weeks.
This is the perfect
Christmas surprise.
Juan has told us
so much about you.
Sorry. Do I smell lechn?
As a matter of fact, you do.
Oh!
Oi, Oi, Oi, Oi...
Muchsimas, gracias.
That is our favorite.
Mwah.
Viste?
We'll have to see if
it's as good as mine.
Oh, come on.
- All right, get a plate.
- Vamos.
Come on.
Thank you.
That was some
great food, wasn't it?
I love you.
I'm so happy your
family joined us.
Even if it was because they
thought we had kidnaped you.
Oh, honestly, this has turned
out to be
my favorite Christmas.
La ma tambin.
Oh!
Let's go inside.
Come on in.
How in the world did Sue think
you were part of the Mafia?
Oh. She just found some
pages from my new novel.
New novel?
Yeah.
Lily said something to me the
other day that made me realize
that I couldn't write your
letter or my new novel
without remembering
how it all began.
And seeing the good
in myself again.
And on that note, I
am pleased to present
the perfect Rose family
Christmas letter.
Hm.
Thank you.
And I'm sure it's perfect, Juan.
Except for one thing.
I didn't write it.
This letter was mine to write
from the beginning,
and I just needed someone
to show me the way
and help me find
the joy in it again.
I'm proud of you.
Now you just be sure and
dedicate your next book
to your muse, Settie Rose.
I wouldn't have
it any other way.
All right. To.
Quote of the day.
Familia y amigos son los
verdaderos regalos de la Navidad.
Yay, To!
Yay! Yay!
This Christmas has been
the best example of that.
Juan, our friendship with you
and your family is
a true Christmas gift.
And now for the Rose family
Christmas letter
written with love
by yours truly.
Dearest family and friends,
I must confess it was not my
intention to write this letter.
Honestly, I had lost touch
with the true meaning
of Christmas.
It's easy to do when you are
swept up in the blizzard
of trying to do Christmas right,
and you fail to see the beauty
in each individual snowflake.
Lily is fearlessly pursuing
her acting career
and will appear on stage
this spring
at the Holly Hills Theater.
Woo!
Jack and Bradley are newlyweds
and cherishing every moment
of their lives together.
Meanwhile, Paddy published
his first poem this year
in The Connecticut Whistle.
And my mom is keeping us
all in shape
with her silent disco parties.
All are welcome.
Of course she is.
Dad won first place
at last year's State Fair
mooing contest
and is practicing diligently
to add reindeer
to his repertoire.
Finally, in my desperation
to redeem myself,
I was ready to cheat our
way to the Wall of Fame
by hiring a professional writer
whose beautiful prose
was sure to make us shine.
Juan Rebolledo Snchez.
I knew it.
Juan helped me to fall in
love with how we do Christmas.
Without our flaws, we wouldn't
be perfectly who we are.
Yours truly, The Roses.
Oh, wait wait, wait.
There's a postscript.
Okay. P.S. I am
twinkling with delight
to announce
that Jack will be teaching
sculpture of the modernized
world 2.0. this winter.
Everyone sign up
at the clubhouse.
You didn't.
I did, I did. I did it!
That's beautiful, Settie.
Awe...
Settie, you might just have
a winner this year.
T'was the night
before Christmas.
Era la vspera de Navidad.
Y en todo lugar reinaba la paz.
No se escuchaba
ni un slo ruidito.
Not even a mouse.
- Or a cow.
- Or a reindeer.
Junto a la chimenea,
las medias colgaban.
It's fine.
It's fine.
It's okay.
Mmhmm.
Junto a la chimenea,
las medias colgaban.
Pues San Nicols
ya pronto esperaban.