Corniaud, Le (The Sucker) (1965) Movie Script
THE SUCKER
Please give me a hand.
Wait.
Give me that.
Are you going to Carcassonne
again this summer?
No, I'm going on a holiday
to Italy.
The weather will be nicer there.
It's been terrible here.
Have a good trip, Monsieur Antoine.
I'll come back all tanned.
This is a disaster.
What's wrong?
What's wrong?
You can see what's wrong.
What am I going to do now?
By all means,
just walk all over it.
It's not serious.
What do you mean,
it's not serious?
What am I going to do now?
Just walk.
But I was going on
a holiday to Italy.
Go by plane. that's faster.
- But I'm not in a hurry.
Well, I am in a hurry.
Here's my business card.
My insurance agent will contact you.
You've got some guts!
With your big car.
Leopold Saroyan,
Director.
I don't care!
No to London, yes to New York
and Stockholm I don't know.
Yes.
Monsieur Marchal is here.
Send him in.
My poor friend.
I'm so sorry about what happened yesterday.
- So am I.
Have a seat.
I couldn't sleep all night
because of you.
Well, I'm sorry.
The shock.
What can I say.
If your holiday's ruined,
so is mine.
Tell me, do you still
plan to go to Italy?
I'm not sure if you know, but my
car had a small accident yesterday.
That's exactly why I
called you this morning.
I liked you from the start.
I had a little idea that
will solve everything.
What?
Cigar?
Havanna.
A little Scotch?
If you insist.
Press the green button.
And look there.
Look!
And that's not all.
Look. Click!
A bar.
Mr du Schmurtz from Miami
is visiting Europe in his Cadillac.
He's going to the Parthenon,
the Berlin wall, the Folies-Bergre etc.
The whole civilisation.
What's that?
- It's nothing.
What?
Here, it's yours.
- Thanks.
He receives a telegram...
No, listen to me.
He receives a telegram...
Ah, yes.
- Cheers!
He has to fly back to the USA.
Father ill, mother ill.
That's always sad.
So the Cadillac has been abandoned.
Poor thing.
It will arrive in Naples on Monday.
Naples!
Mr. du Schmurtz asked me to take it
from Naples to Bordeaux.
To put it on a boat to the USA.
From Naples to Bordeaux...
That's a nice trip.
And you are going to make that nice trip.
Me?
I'm here. Turn around.
Today's August 14.
The car has to be in Bordeaux
on August 27.
Yes.
Italy seen from a Cadillac
must be quite something.
Are you happy?
Can I have a bit more Scotch?
The bottle's over there.
Mr. Director.
This is your ticket.
Paris-Naples by Caravelle.
And 500.000 liras for
your travel expenses.
That's too much.
I'm not as greedy as a Cadillac!
I'm inviting you to breakfast
with a couple of friends.
I've done quite well
in my line of work.
I make baby clothes.
I'm all about baby clothes.
Can I ask them something?
Can you recommend books
that could introduce Italy to him?
"Walks in Rome" by Stendhal,
a great guide.
I already bought the Michelin Guide.
Although I think...
We have to leave now.
Caravelles are good at many things...
...but not at waiting.
I'm very honoured.
The door's over there.
Not that one.
This one.
And...
- Yes.
Michelin and baby clothes.
What an idiot.
Leave that alone.
That will do.
Thank you.
And, what do you think of him?
Are we supposed to congratulate you?
How dare you trust him with our money?
It took us half a year to prepare this...
...and at the very end you
decide this all on your own!
I beg your pardon?
And why do you do it all in one hit?
And the jewellery of the Baalbeck heist!
You're taking a big risk with our money.
I'm very worried...
...for you.
-What will the Americans say?
I'm taking the responsibility.
Listen to me.
We need an idiot for this job.
One who doesn't suspect anything.
- It's still a big risk.
All my money's in that car.
I can't afford to lose it.
Nor can you!
The deal of our lives depends on that imbecile.
Anything can happen in 1800 kilometres.
But he's honest!
You can see it in his face.
And that's the best passport there is.
For a customs officer, the person's
the suspect, not the car.
Single, travelling sales man,
no criminal record.
Yes, I'm putting the French group at risk.
That's why I took a decision:
I will personally follow the Cadillac all the way.
Let's recap.
Here.
Give me a pencil.
This is the Cadillac.
With the bumpers...
That's simplified.
That's it!
Heroin.
Where is it?
In the rear mudguards.
And the gold?
In the front and back bumpers.
Covered with chrome, of course.
The diamonds, emeralds and
rubies in the battery.
Custom made double bakelite front.
And this brilliant plan,
gentlemen, is signed by:
Sa - ro - yan!
Will the You-Koun-Koun
also be in the battery?
No, sir.
The biggest diamond in the
world will be... there!
Before a big battle, Caesar said:
"I'd burn my coat,
if it knew of my plan."
Let's follow Caesar's example.
Be careful that you don't
end the same way he did.
"No, the biggest diamond in the
world will be there!"
Hello.
Have you got the t-t-t-tape?
Even better.
Here's the sound...
...and here's the picture.
Well, unfold it.
A drawing.
Signed Sa...Sa...
Saroyan.
Fantastic, Mario!
When will I get my 10%?
When we've got the Cadillac.
Until then nothing's certain.
Have you seen the fool who'll drive it?
Does he know?
- Not a thing.
Poor guy.
I hope we won't have to k-k-k...
Kick him?
No, kill him.
When you go hunting, you
shoot pheasants as well as pigeons.
Pronto, pronto?
It's working!
Yes? Pronto?
Operator speaking. What's the number?
Mercadet 1819.
No, of your car.
- Ah, one second.
Florida 8-22139
Ok, you've been registered.
Alright.
So if I get a call,
you'll let me know?
Yes, we will.
Very good.
Permesso...
Me... "avanti!"
What a car.
It's almost impossible to drive.
What's with that horn?
What's he doing?
Thanks.
Customs inspection.
Do you have anything to declare?
No, my suitcases are in the hotel.
Can I see your papers?
These?
- Yes.
That's alright.
Thank you.
Duck!
Keep some distance. Too close and he'll see us.
Too far and we won't see him anymore.
How am I going to find it?
What a crowd.
Monsieur...?
Monsieur...
Signor...
Hello. Quite a car.
Do you speak French?
No. Napoletano.
How unpractical.
Look here.
Bumper. Dented at the backi
and damaged at the fronti.
You repair quicko.
Because me in Napoli
since two days, so...
I can't do it.
It's not my automobilo.
It's difficult.
It's completely destroyed.
It's a lot of work.
I can't do it in two days.
Not possible?
Maybe 20.000 liras can make a differenzio?
The car will be ready
tomorrow morninga at 9.
No, no, tomorrow morningi.
No, tomorrow morningo.
Anyway, you know what I mean.
It's gold, signor Tagliella.
Gold? Gold! Thank you!
Thank you, Madonna.
Let's have a look at this bumper...
There he is.
A cab? Where's the car?
He must have left it in the garage.
Wonderful!
You'd think it was brand new.
No, no, it's not new.
No, of course not.
Here's 20.000 liras.
No, that's too much. 5.000 is enough.
No, I promised.
It was an easy job.
- I like the French.
Here's 10.000. That's really cheap.
If you insist. Thank you.
Alright. That's a job well done.
Do you have the keys?
Thanks.
The Napolese have a bad reputation.
But I'll tell everybody
how honest you are.
Yes, aren't we?
Goodbye!
- Arrivederci!
Buon viaggio!
Have a safe journey!
No, no, no!
- I'll soon catch up with him!
You keep saying that,
but I don't see him.
Yes? Pronto?
The operator in Rome.
This is a test. Can you hear me?
Yes, very clearly.
Can I make a call to Paris?
Which number?
Solfrino 1212.
Preliminary call?
- Yes.
Which name?
Monsieur Saroyan.
Sa-ro-yan.
That's enough!
It's not me. It's the engine.
Which engine?
- Ours.
We're running out.
Out of what?
Out of petrol.
- What?
I forgot to fill up in Naples.
You've got to be kidding! Idiot!
We're close to a petrol station.
We have to catch up with him. Go!
Faster!
I'll have to help.
Young man! Hurry!
Fill her up!
Presto! Presto!
Chief! Look!
Look.
What is it?
Excuse me, chief.
Fill her up, please.
Yes, yes, I'm coming.
Pronto! Yes?
Yes, I asked for Paris.
- Monsieur Saroyan, yes.
One moment please.
Hello?
Phone call for Monsieur Saroyan.
If it's from Italy, put it
through to the radio phone.
Yes. Jaguar. 411763 Milan.
Hello?
Saroyan speaking.
Hello!
Marchal here.
What?
I can't hear you very well.
Cover me!
What's the weather like in Paris?
Overcast, but warm.
Funny! Now I hear you very well.
As if we were really close to each other.
Here it's warm as well.
If you hadn't been so busy, we could
have made the trip together.
I wanted to thank you again.
It's nothing. Don't mention it.
People like me don't
often get a chance like this.
Have you had any repairs
done to the car?
No... no... not at all.
I've never had any car trouble.
Except the day I met you.
Do you remember?
Do I remember? Idiot!
Hello?
We were cut off.
How much do I owe you?
Keep the change.
He's going away.
I'm suffocating.
There's no way to find out
what he had fixed In Naples.
Hurry up!
Let's go!
Avanti!
Hello?
Hello?
The barber's shop, please.
Pronto! Sprechen Sie Deutch?
Speak English? Parlez franais?
What do you need, sir?
A haircut?
I have nothing to cut!
Scalp massage with Chanel?
Molyneux?
No...
...just the bearda.
The bearda...
At least a manicure?
Well... why not?
Yes! Room 432.
Okay.
Stingy salesman.
Loulou,
put the Austin in the garage.
I'm going crazy!
- You're a fool.
You're making me jealous!
- Marry me then.
You're making me jealous!
- I've had enough of Sicilians!
I'll take the first one
who wants to marry me!
Come in!
Mickey!
He has company in there.
Let's swap places.
Do you need all these weapons against me?
Yes, sir.
That's the price you
pay for looking good.
My looks are in your hands.
She'll have a lot of work to do.
Excuse me.
Piano!
Excuse me.
Is that an engagement ring?
Yes.
That's one lucky man.
Pianissimo! Please.
He doesn't think he's lucky.
He's in no hurry to get married.
He's thinking about it.
He must be an intellectual.
No, not at all.
Give me your right hand, please.
Thank you.
What's your fianc like?
Sicilian.
He must be very jealous.
Yes, very!
He'd prefer to lock me up.
Why is that?
He says it's the only way
to have a faithful wife.
If he's jealous, he must love you.
But in the end, jealous men end up...
What's the word?
Cuckold?
Exactly! Cuckold!
Scusi...
Are you out of your mind?
I apologise.
But it wasn't my fault.
That's burning hot!
A facial massage against wrinkles.
No, please.
Please leave.
Basta!
A bit of powder?
No, absolutely not. Goodbye!
Is that all?
- Goodbye!
There.
That's good.
Can't we start all over again?
Not right away.
That's a shame.
I don't recognise my hands.
Excuse me...
I... you...
Shhh!
- You're about to say something silly.
Do you think?
But still...
Tell me...
Are you very much
in love with your fianc?
The French are indiscrete.
Not as indiscrete as the Roman sun.
He's got her where he wants her.
I'm flabbergasted!
Chief! Why don't you go and check
the cargo of the Cadillac?
Excellent idea. While he's...
I'm going downstairs. Wait here for me.
Miss...
Gina.
Do you know a good restaurant?
Yes.
Pasetto. Or else Taverna Flavia.
Or Casina Valadier,
if you like music.
Do you go there often?
Now and then.
It would be funny if you were
at one table and I at another.
I'd ask you to come to my table.
If you were on your own of course.
I wouldn't go there on my own.
That's why I'm asking you
to go there with me.
The thing is that I'm not available.
At least not before 6 o'clock tonight.
Where's the garage?
To the left.
Excuse me, the garage please.
Down the stairs. The little door.
Where are the keys?
But I left them in the car.
Now what?
Get lost.
How is that possible?
Get lost!
Anybody there?
- No, nobody.
Alright.
How is it possible?
This isn't possible.
Where are those keys?
They're in my room then.
What's happening?
Did you...!
Hey, you!
Let me down.
No, down.
The car? Down?
What are you doing?
Stop that!
Stop, I'm telling you!
Stop it!
I'm getting dizzy.
What is this!
Give me the scala.
The scala.
The ladder over there.
He's not the brightest, is he?
Give it to me.
Now the car's coming down.
Stop it!
Stop the car!
Stop the car, I'm telling you!
What is this?
Are you new at this job?
The keys.
That's good!
I was looking for the keys.
Grazie.
Poor guy...
Here, this is for you.
Yes, per Lei. Thank you.
He's a bit slow. He doesn't
even understand his own language.
A table for two?
- Have you made a reservation?
No.
It's going to be difficult.
But maybe we can find you a little table.
Thank you.
Caviar and champagne to begin with?
Would you like that?
- Yes, I'm very hungry.
Alright, caviar and champagne
and the whole menu.
Ah, Rome...
You and I together here.
It's a dream.
It's silly, but I feel so good.
Oh, no!
Pay some attention.
Excuse me.
Hi, Nino.
- Hi.
Nino!
How are you?
Come sit with us.
Hey, Nino! Hi!
Come, let's dance.
- No, not now.
Your hand, quickly.
Here?
Not like that.
Cosi!
Oh, Antonio!
Hey...
That's the third time!
...with your scusi... scusi!
Let's go.
- But what about dinner?
I'm no longer hungry.
Gina!
Gina, what's wrong?
Nothing.
Antoine, take me away from here.
Where? To my place?
Yes.
No...
Let's leave Rome
tonight or tomorrow.
Would you like that?
Yes.
You must be very sad
to ask me that.
Come, get in.
At least I got some sleep.
The Cadillac!
Help! Help!
He's leaving Rome.
Hurry!
Heroin! Cadillac! Hurry!
Hurry!
Shoot!
The bastard.
They're shooting at us.
Aim for the tires.
You missed.
Let him do it.
Missed.
Oh no! Heroin!
The heroin's escaping.
What the hell do you think
you're doing? Cornuti!
Let's swap places.
Take the wheel.
Careful! careful!
Let me!
I got him.
No, don't shoot.
Oh no.
Repair!
- At this hour?
I'll pay. A lot.
- I'm coming.
Drive back to Rome.
Hurry.
I'll start the engine.
It must be a bit cold.
Yes, yes, we heard you.
Go then.
Your fianc.
- Hurry!
Gina!
Come back, Gina! Stop!
Stop.
This way you won't
continue on your own.
Forgive me, Antoine.
I'm very proud that
I made him jealous.
Careful, he might have
brought his razor.
Goodbye, Gina. You'll be
a beautiful memory of Italy.
Good luck.
Ciao, Antoine.
Slut!
- Idiot!
The French...
always l'amour.
No, they're Italian.
I'm French.
Goodbye, Gina!
I'm Ursula
Lampenberg Schausenberger.
That's not easy to remember.
I'd like you to spell that.
And I like you too.
Thanks.
- I'm simply Antoine.
Well then, let's go Simply Antoine.
That begins well.
Aren't you blushing?
Never, I use sun lotion.
Do you know how to do it?
No, but I'll learn quickly.
- Bitte.
You're a natural.
No, I'm a nudist. It's prudishness
that gives people bad ideas.
Do you have bad ideas?
No, not at all.
You're right, because men and
women are all the same.
There are little differences, though.
No, we all have two legs,
two arms, two ears...
Yes, thank you, I know that.
I know what I'm talking about.
I'm a student of anatomy
at the Heidelberg University.
Beautiful!
A record player.
Thanks, Antoine.
You're a good dancer.
But that's not what I like about you.
I see. What is it then?
My hair?
Guess.
My eyes, maybe.
My mother says they're beautiful,
but that's my mother.
It's not physical.
My intelligence, maybe.
My father says I'm intelligent,
but that's my father.
What I like about you,
is your simplicity.
I'm simple alright.
Dear Antoine, we drove past all the
big hotels and you didn't even look.
But I could see you think:
"Poor little Ursula doesn't
have a fancy dress."
So you stopped here. More my style.
Camping is my style as well.
You're hiding your friendliness.
That's even friendlier.
Shall we go to sleep?
That's a good idea.
A kilo of sugar, please.
Thanks.
Alright...
Goodnight.
Gute Nacht.
They're sleeping.
Three in a tent is intolerable.
It's such a mess.
Is this yours?
And this...
Careful with this.
Do you hear something?
A mosquito.
I've got it.
Don't laugh.
I'm going to freshen up.
Antoine?
- Yes, Ursula.
Are you sleepy?
- No, not really.
Me neither.
Shall we go for a walk?
Hey!
Are you finished?
Shall we go and swim?
I don't have swimming trunks.
Me neither. It doesn't matter.
Yes, but all naked in front of you...
...I'd be embarrassed.
But I'm a nudist.
Go ahead then...
It's like love.
You do it together.
And if you don't do it... heraus!
I'll go then.
Tell me, Ursula...
...don't you want me to
wait for you in your tent?
No, Antoine.
Better wait for me in yours.
Will you come and join me then?
Maybe... for sure.
You're not a gentleman.
As far as I can see...
neither are you.
I don't know you.
Do you only kiss men you know?
Shall we go for a walk?
Ursula?
What?
It's Marchal!
Is he here?
Ursula...
What's he saying?
Ursula...
Ursula.
A bit more oil?
Nein, mein Liebe.
No, no, ich will nicht!
What am I doing here?
What a night!
Buon giorno.
The Stutterer!
Damn!
He doesn't waste any
time with that car.
Have you done anything to it?
- No, boss.
Go and see what's happening.
What is it?
Keep them.
Time for a drive.
Do you know other people here?
An old diabetic friend with whom
I've done business in the past.
That villain sabotaged the car.
The Cadillac in the hands of The Mouse.
A catastrophe!
I'll warn Marchal.
Hello? Pronti, pronta...
I wanta speakee to the Cadillaco.
No, let me.
Antoine, can I drive?
Yes, but be careful.
Careful.
Bravo!
Waiting time? Yes, I'll wait.
Thank you, signorina.
There's sugar everywhere.
The carburettor, the tank...
The bastard.
We're going to suck it out.
Now suck!
Telephone.
Can I answer the phone, Antoine?
Hello?
Hello!
Stop the car.
I can't hear anything.
Miss!
Nein! That comes in handy.
I'd rather talk to you.
Was?
Ich bin... I'm a Freund... friend...
of... Antoine Marchal.
He ist... in danger.
D-a-n-g-e-r... Do you understand?
If you nicht do anything...
...Marchal kaput.
Not... mglich!
I don't know about that...
...because... der Mann...
...the pretty boy...
...ist ein bastard...
...ein grosse bastard...
...who wants to pinch...
...to steal zie Cadillac.
Jawohl.
I'll do my best.
Ja, ja...
I think she understood.
Was it for me?
No, for me.
What a view!
Magnificent.
That deserves to be photographed.
Give me the camera and
I'll take your picture.
Ursula, we'll have our picture taken.
No, I want to get
a bit more of a tan.
Let's go down the stairs.
It's prettier there.
You think?
Do you know the story
of the photographer.
No.
Beautiful!
I know another one.
Here it is.
Magnificent.
Give me the camera.
Stand there.
A bit more to the right.
A bit back, so I get your feet.
More...
A bit more...
Another 10 cm will be fine.
Are you alright?
Are you here?
That's nice.
What a shock.
Where's Marchal?
He's g-g-gone for a swim with
his g-g-girlfriend.
Have a look.
The silencer...
Since you insist, thank you.
The bastard! What a bastard!
Now it will shrink.
Chief! It's true. The sucker's gone
for a swim with the woman, all dressed.
Let's go.
I assure you, Antoine,
it was an attack.
But I'm surprised that
somebody wanted to warn me.
Must have been a friend of yours.
And he was right.
What are you doing?
Can I get a lift?
I broke your battery.
But why?
So the thieves couldn't
steal your beautiful car.
Antoine...
I hate to leave you.
But with you holidays
are no longer holidays.
I can't relax anymore.
I'd prefer a car less pretty,
but more quiet.
Are you coming?
- Yes.
Take care of yourself, Antoine.
Auf Wiedersehen.
I'll get a mechanic to come.
FRENCH CUSTOMS
Police inspector...
Little matters lead to big ones.
Mario Costa...
...matre d', guilty of fencing.
A bit of pressure and...
...he give me the case of the century:
a drugs gang.
Beirut's going to send the biggest ever
shipment of heroin to the US.
And at the same time, they're bringing home
the profits of the Baalbeck heist.
Gold, diamonds, rubies.
And apparently, in the same shipment...
...the You-Koun-Koun diamond.
The diamond that was all over the
papers when it was stolen?
Yes, and all of that in one single car.
Which car?
According to my information, there's
a good chance they'll drive through here.
Since we can't check all the cars,
we'll have to look for the faces.
Here they are...
Know this one?
This one's expected to
go for the jackpot.
We have to cross
the border before he does.
Try the lights, please.
Are they working?
- Yes. The horn...
That's the third time.
Must be a short circuit.
How much for the battery?
- 20.000 liras in total.
What do I do with that?
- It's not working anymore.
Arrivederci.
This thing's heavy.
Passport, please.
- Here it is.
Park there, please.
I'm in a hurry.
Do you have anything to declare?
- I'm in a hurry...
Put your car there.
BORDER 5 km.
Oh no!
I won't stand for it.
Are you finished
with all that noise?
You've been holding me
for two hours now.
Play it cool.
But if Marchal arrives,
we're done for.
Nothing, police inspector.
I'm sorry.
- Oh, it's nothing.
I'm sorry I can't lock you up.
I beg your pardon.
Shut up. Get lost.
That's enough. Go.
Excuse me.
We're finished.
Come here.
Ah... Marchal!
That's it, gentlemen.
Where did they go?
What's his name?
- Sar... Saroyan.
Monsieur Saroyan!
Monsieur Saroyan!
- Such idiots!
Monsieur Saroyan!
Monsieur Saroyan!
What are you doing here?
I'm happy to see you.
If you knew what happened to me...
I don't know you.
There must be some confusion.
You're joking.
Marchal...
That's not me.
- It's me.
The car...
That's quite enough. Don't insist.
Alright then...
You must be right.
Excuse me, I must have
made a mistake.
You, please.
Me?
Yes, yes.
Put your car over there.
What are you looking at?
Didn't I tell you to disappear?
Shut up and get lost.
Your papers, please.
Marchal, the idiot.
To talk to me in front of the inspector.
They'll find everything now.
Not the heroin.
- The rest, idiot.
Shall we leave?
How are the mudguards going?
- We're examining them.
It's not gold.
Just iron.
No jewellery.
No heroin.
And also no You-Koun-Koun.
The famous diamond?
Tell me a bit about Monsieur Saroyan.
Do you know him well?
I thought that...
Ok, you can go.
There he is.
He got through. We're saved.
He's unbelievable.
No, no, not that one.
What do we do?
- There's one there.
Quick!
People are looking.
Don't drive too fast now.
- Please get in, sir.
No gold...
No jewellery...
I don't know you.
There must be some confusion.
Look, they changed cars.
Monsieur Saroyan...
He thought I was some poor bastard.
I'll still drive your car to Bordeaux.
But I'll make a stop in Carcasonne...
Come on.
Come on, damn!
Hurry.
Are you finished?
Knock, knock. Look here.
Are you coming?
Final destination.
Everybody out.
Give me the keys.
And say a prayer.
You threw me in the water,
but I can swim.
So you're going to kill me?
Get out of here.
Or you'll suffer.
Don't try to scare me.
Idiot!
Think about it.
A hero, but no heroin.
Look here...
The battery...
Have a look at it.
The bumpers...
It's not gold.
Just iron.
I d-d-didn't know you knew.
Poor fellow.
Don't you understand that
this car is worthless?
And the Y-Y-You-Koun-Koun?
Just like the rest... in the old Rolls.
Below.
Give me my keys.
If you're a friend of Saroyan's,
why did you betray him?
He hasn't been very honest with me.
OUT OF ORDER
There he is.
Breakfast for the gentlemen?
Yes, three caf au lait.
Without sugar.
- Yes, Monsieur.
Do you mind?
A drawing signed Saroyan...
That's it.
Is one of you Monsieur Saroyan?
What are you saying?
There's a phone call for him.
Where?
- In the phone booth.
Follow me.
Hello?
Hello! Sa... Sa... Saroyan?
The Stutterer!
What do you want, bastard?
Fifty-fifty...
Think about it.
I'm thinking...
Maybe we can talk about it.
Near the city wall, for instance.
In all peace and quiet.
Alright.
I'll announce myself by whistling...
"Plaisir d'Amour".
You must come alone,
or else...
Funny.
Give me number 18-17, Miss.
Martial? This is Antoine.
Are you calling from Paris?
No, Carcassonne.
Are you coming over for lunch?
No thanks.
I'm calling you about something...
Can I help?
The back door to the Rue des
Fosss Verts, does it still exist?
Good, alright, listen...
chagrin d'amour
dure toute la vie
Your friend is calling you on the phone.
Stay here.
Hurry. The boss is in danger.
Rue des Fosss Verts nr. 80.
Welcome.
Little Suzanne... Earlier there were
three gentlemen here, right?
The shortest one...
Who talks like...
When he comes back, tell him he
can't count on his friends anymore.
And return this to him.
He'll find it amusing.
The Italian got reinforcements.
We'll put all the snakes in the same pit.
What can I bring you?
- A beer.
Where are they?
I have to give you this.
What's that?
Mister inspector.
- Shut up.
This is humiliating.
Get in.
The Stutterer!
Get Marchal and take him to
the police station in Bordeaux.
And keep an eye on that Cadillac.
Where are they?
Hip hip hip, hooray!
Bravo!
What's gotten into that horn?
Into that horn?
I know! The You-Koun-Koun...
Here's the You-Koun-Koun diamond.
He keeps surprising me.
In the car with him.
- Me?
I assure you this fellow is innocent.
Everybody to the police station.
Now that I've got you here...
You caused me a lot of problems.
But I'm also solving them for you.
But I'm not worried,
because I'm innocent.
Anyway, I don't hold it against
you, because that was quite a trip.
And that's what life's all about.
Tell me...
No, he can't hear us.
You're going to get the 100 million.
- 100 million?
The reward for the
You-Koun-Koun diamond.
You found it and there are witnesses.
Lots of them.
- So you'll receive the reward.
I must not be as "Koun-Koun"
as I look then.
Tell me...
The 100 million...
What are you going to do with them?
- I don't know yet...
Do you trust me?
Do you trust me?
- Yes...
No! Can you make money like that?
THE END
Please give me a hand.
Wait.
Give me that.
Are you going to Carcassonne
again this summer?
No, I'm going on a holiday
to Italy.
The weather will be nicer there.
It's been terrible here.
Have a good trip, Monsieur Antoine.
I'll come back all tanned.
This is a disaster.
What's wrong?
What's wrong?
You can see what's wrong.
What am I going to do now?
By all means,
just walk all over it.
It's not serious.
What do you mean,
it's not serious?
What am I going to do now?
Just walk.
But I was going on
a holiday to Italy.
Go by plane. that's faster.
- But I'm not in a hurry.
Well, I am in a hurry.
Here's my business card.
My insurance agent will contact you.
You've got some guts!
With your big car.
Leopold Saroyan,
Director.
I don't care!
No to London, yes to New York
and Stockholm I don't know.
Yes.
Monsieur Marchal is here.
Send him in.
My poor friend.
I'm so sorry about what happened yesterday.
- So am I.
Have a seat.
I couldn't sleep all night
because of you.
Well, I'm sorry.
The shock.
What can I say.
If your holiday's ruined,
so is mine.
Tell me, do you still
plan to go to Italy?
I'm not sure if you know, but my
car had a small accident yesterday.
That's exactly why I
called you this morning.
I liked you from the start.
I had a little idea that
will solve everything.
What?
Cigar?
Havanna.
A little Scotch?
If you insist.
Press the green button.
And look there.
Look!
And that's not all.
Look. Click!
A bar.
Mr du Schmurtz from Miami
is visiting Europe in his Cadillac.
He's going to the Parthenon,
the Berlin wall, the Folies-Bergre etc.
The whole civilisation.
What's that?
- It's nothing.
What?
Here, it's yours.
- Thanks.
He receives a telegram...
No, listen to me.
He receives a telegram...
Ah, yes.
- Cheers!
He has to fly back to the USA.
Father ill, mother ill.
That's always sad.
So the Cadillac has been abandoned.
Poor thing.
It will arrive in Naples on Monday.
Naples!
Mr. du Schmurtz asked me to take it
from Naples to Bordeaux.
To put it on a boat to the USA.
From Naples to Bordeaux...
That's a nice trip.
And you are going to make that nice trip.
Me?
I'm here. Turn around.
Today's August 14.
The car has to be in Bordeaux
on August 27.
Yes.
Italy seen from a Cadillac
must be quite something.
Are you happy?
Can I have a bit more Scotch?
The bottle's over there.
Mr. Director.
This is your ticket.
Paris-Naples by Caravelle.
And 500.000 liras for
your travel expenses.
That's too much.
I'm not as greedy as a Cadillac!
I'm inviting you to breakfast
with a couple of friends.
I've done quite well
in my line of work.
I make baby clothes.
I'm all about baby clothes.
Can I ask them something?
Can you recommend books
that could introduce Italy to him?
"Walks in Rome" by Stendhal,
a great guide.
I already bought the Michelin Guide.
Although I think...
We have to leave now.
Caravelles are good at many things...
...but not at waiting.
I'm very honoured.
The door's over there.
Not that one.
This one.
And...
- Yes.
Michelin and baby clothes.
What an idiot.
Leave that alone.
That will do.
Thank you.
And, what do you think of him?
Are we supposed to congratulate you?
How dare you trust him with our money?
It took us half a year to prepare this...
...and at the very end you
decide this all on your own!
I beg your pardon?
And why do you do it all in one hit?
And the jewellery of the Baalbeck heist!
You're taking a big risk with our money.
I'm very worried...
...for you.
-What will the Americans say?
I'm taking the responsibility.
Listen to me.
We need an idiot for this job.
One who doesn't suspect anything.
- It's still a big risk.
All my money's in that car.
I can't afford to lose it.
Nor can you!
The deal of our lives depends on that imbecile.
Anything can happen in 1800 kilometres.
But he's honest!
You can see it in his face.
And that's the best passport there is.
For a customs officer, the person's
the suspect, not the car.
Single, travelling sales man,
no criminal record.
Yes, I'm putting the French group at risk.
That's why I took a decision:
I will personally follow the Cadillac all the way.
Let's recap.
Here.
Give me a pencil.
This is the Cadillac.
With the bumpers...
That's simplified.
That's it!
Heroin.
Where is it?
In the rear mudguards.
And the gold?
In the front and back bumpers.
Covered with chrome, of course.
The diamonds, emeralds and
rubies in the battery.
Custom made double bakelite front.
And this brilliant plan,
gentlemen, is signed by:
Sa - ro - yan!
Will the You-Koun-Koun
also be in the battery?
No, sir.
The biggest diamond in the
world will be... there!
Before a big battle, Caesar said:
"I'd burn my coat,
if it knew of my plan."
Let's follow Caesar's example.
Be careful that you don't
end the same way he did.
"No, the biggest diamond in the
world will be there!"
Hello.
Have you got the t-t-t-tape?
Even better.
Here's the sound...
...and here's the picture.
Well, unfold it.
A drawing.
Signed Sa...Sa...
Saroyan.
Fantastic, Mario!
When will I get my 10%?
When we've got the Cadillac.
Until then nothing's certain.
Have you seen the fool who'll drive it?
Does he know?
- Not a thing.
Poor guy.
I hope we won't have to k-k-k...
Kick him?
No, kill him.
When you go hunting, you
shoot pheasants as well as pigeons.
Pronto, pronto?
It's working!
Yes? Pronto?
Operator speaking. What's the number?
Mercadet 1819.
No, of your car.
- Ah, one second.
Florida 8-22139
Ok, you've been registered.
Alright.
So if I get a call,
you'll let me know?
Yes, we will.
Very good.
Permesso...
Me... "avanti!"
What a car.
It's almost impossible to drive.
What's with that horn?
What's he doing?
Thanks.
Customs inspection.
Do you have anything to declare?
No, my suitcases are in the hotel.
Can I see your papers?
These?
- Yes.
That's alright.
Thank you.
Duck!
Keep some distance. Too close and he'll see us.
Too far and we won't see him anymore.
How am I going to find it?
What a crowd.
Monsieur...?
Monsieur...
Signor...
Hello. Quite a car.
Do you speak French?
No. Napoletano.
How unpractical.
Look here.
Bumper. Dented at the backi
and damaged at the fronti.
You repair quicko.
Because me in Napoli
since two days, so...
I can't do it.
It's not my automobilo.
It's difficult.
It's completely destroyed.
It's a lot of work.
I can't do it in two days.
Not possible?
Maybe 20.000 liras can make a differenzio?
The car will be ready
tomorrow morninga at 9.
No, no, tomorrow morningi.
No, tomorrow morningo.
Anyway, you know what I mean.
It's gold, signor Tagliella.
Gold? Gold! Thank you!
Thank you, Madonna.
Let's have a look at this bumper...
There he is.
A cab? Where's the car?
He must have left it in the garage.
Wonderful!
You'd think it was brand new.
No, no, it's not new.
No, of course not.
Here's 20.000 liras.
No, that's too much. 5.000 is enough.
No, I promised.
It was an easy job.
- I like the French.
Here's 10.000. That's really cheap.
If you insist. Thank you.
Alright. That's a job well done.
Do you have the keys?
Thanks.
The Napolese have a bad reputation.
But I'll tell everybody
how honest you are.
Yes, aren't we?
Goodbye!
- Arrivederci!
Buon viaggio!
Have a safe journey!
No, no, no!
- I'll soon catch up with him!
You keep saying that,
but I don't see him.
Yes? Pronto?
The operator in Rome.
This is a test. Can you hear me?
Yes, very clearly.
Can I make a call to Paris?
Which number?
Solfrino 1212.
Preliminary call?
- Yes.
Which name?
Monsieur Saroyan.
Sa-ro-yan.
That's enough!
It's not me. It's the engine.
Which engine?
- Ours.
We're running out.
Out of what?
Out of petrol.
- What?
I forgot to fill up in Naples.
You've got to be kidding! Idiot!
We're close to a petrol station.
We have to catch up with him. Go!
Faster!
I'll have to help.
Young man! Hurry!
Fill her up!
Presto! Presto!
Chief! Look!
Look.
What is it?
Excuse me, chief.
Fill her up, please.
Yes, yes, I'm coming.
Pronto! Yes?
Yes, I asked for Paris.
- Monsieur Saroyan, yes.
One moment please.
Hello?
Phone call for Monsieur Saroyan.
If it's from Italy, put it
through to the radio phone.
Yes. Jaguar. 411763 Milan.
Hello?
Saroyan speaking.
Hello!
Marchal here.
What?
I can't hear you very well.
Cover me!
What's the weather like in Paris?
Overcast, but warm.
Funny! Now I hear you very well.
As if we were really close to each other.
Here it's warm as well.
If you hadn't been so busy, we could
have made the trip together.
I wanted to thank you again.
It's nothing. Don't mention it.
People like me don't
often get a chance like this.
Have you had any repairs
done to the car?
No... no... not at all.
I've never had any car trouble.
Except the day I met you.
Do you remember?
Do I remember? Idiot!
Hello?
We were cut off.
How much do I owe you?
Keep the change.
He's going away.
I'm suffocating.
There's no way to find out
what he had fixed In Naples.
Hurry up!
Let's go!
Avanti!
Hello?
Hello?
The barber's shop, please.
Pronto! Sprechen Sie Deutch?
Speak English? Parlez franais?
What do you need, sir?
A haircut?
I have nothing to cut!
Scalp massage with Chanel?
Molyneux?
No...
...just the bearda.
The bearda...
At least a manicure?
Well... why not?
Yes! Room 432.
Okay.
Stingy salesman.
Loulou,
put the Austin in the garage.
I'm going crazy!
- You're a fool.
You're making me jealous!
- Marry me then.
You're making me jealous!
- I've had enough of Sicilians!
I'll take the first one
who wants to marry me!
Come in!
Mickey!
He has company in there.
Let's swap places.
Do you need all these weapons against me?
Yes, sir.
That's the price you
pay for looking good.
My looks are in your hands.
She'll have a lot of work to do.
Excuse me.
Piano!
Excuse me.
Is that an engagement ring?
Yes.
That's one lucky man.
Pianissimo! Please.
He doesn't think he's lucky.
He's in no hurry to get married.
He's thinking about it.
He must be an intellectual.
No, not at all.
Give me your right hand, please.
Thank you.
What's your fianc like?
Sicilian.
He must be very jealous.
Yes, very!
He'd prefer to lock me up.
Why is that?
He says it's the only way
to have a faithful wife.
If he's jealous, he must love you.
But in the end, jealous men end up...
What's the word?
Cuckold?
Exactly! Cuckold!
Scusi...
Are you out of your mind?
I apologise.
But it wasn't my fault.
That's burning hot!
A facial massage against wrinkles.
No, please.
Please leave.
Basta!
A bit of powder?
No, absolutely not. Goodbye!
Is that all?
- Goodbye!
There.
That's good.
Can't we start all over again?
Not right away.
That's a shame.
I don't recognise my hands.
Excuse me...
I... you...
Shhh!
- You're about to say something silly.
Do you think?
But still...
Tell me...
Are you very much
in love with your fianc?
The French are indiscrete.
Not as indiscrete as the Roman sun.
He's got her where he wants her.
I'm flabbergasted!
Chief! Why don't you go and check
the cargo of the Cadillac?
Excellent idea. While he's...
I'm going downstairs. Wait here for me.
Miss...
Gina.
Do you know a good restaurant?
Yes.
Pasetto. Or else Taverna Flavia.
Or Casina Valadier,
if you like music.
Do you go there often?
Now and then.
It would be funny if you were
at one table and I at another.
I'd ask you to come to my table.
If you were on your own of course.
I wouldn't go there on my own.
That's why I'm asking you
to go there with me.
The thing is that I'm not available.
At least not before 6 o'clock tonight.
Where's the garage?
To the left.
Excuse me, the garage please.
Down the stairs. The little door.
Where are the keys?
But I left them in the car.
Now what?
Get lost.
How is that possible?
Get lost!
Anybody there?
- No, nobody.
Alright.
How is it possible?
This isn't possible.
Where are those keys?
They're in my room then.
What's happening?
Did you...!
Hey, you!
Let me down.
No, down.
The car? Down?
What are you doing?
Stop that!
Stop, I'm telling you!
Stop it!
I'm getting dizzy.
What is this!
Give me the scala.
The scala.
The ladder over there.
He's not the brightest, is he?
Give it to me.
Now the car's coming down.
Stop it!
Stop the car!
Stop the car, I'm telling you!
What is this?
Are you new at this job?
The keys.
That's good!
I was looking for the keys.
Grazie.
Poor guy...
Here, this is for you.
Yes, per Lei. Thank you.
He's a bit slow. He doesn't
even understand his own language.
A table for two?
- Have you made a reservation?
No.
It's going to be difficult.
But maybe we can find you a little table.
Thank you.
Caviar and champagne to begin with?
Would you like that?
- Yes, I'm very hungry.
Alright, caviar and champagne
and the whole menu.
Ah, Rome...
You and I together here.
It's a dream.
It's silly, but I feel so good.
Oh, no!
Pay some attention.
Excuse me.
Hi, Nino.
- Hi.
Nino!
How are you?
Come sit with us.
Hey, Nino! Hi!
Come, let's dance.
- No, not now.
Your hand, quickly.
Here?
Not like that.
Cosi!
Oh, Antonio!
Hey...
That's the third time!
...with your scusi... scusi!
Let's go.
- But what about dinner?
I'm no longer hungry.
Gina!
Gina, what's wrong?
Nothing.
Antoine, take me away from here.
Where? To my place?
Yes.
No...
Let's leave Rome
tonight or tomorrow.
Would you like that?
Yes.
You must be very sad
to ask me that.
Come, get in.
At least I got some sleep.
The Cadillac!
Help! Help!
He's leaving Rome.
Hurry!
Heroin! Cadillac! Hurry!
Hurry!
Shoot!
The bastard.
They're shooting at us.
Aim for the tires.
You missed.
Let him do it.
Missed.
Oh no! Heroin!
The heroin's escaping.
What the hell do you think
you're doing? Cornuti!
Let's swap places.
Take the wheel.
Careful! careful!
Let me!
I got him.
No, don't shoot.
Oh no.
Repair!
- At this hour?
I'll pay. A lot.
- I'm coming.
Drive back to Rome.
Hurry.
I'll start the engine.
It must be a bit cold.
Yes, yes, we heard you.
Go then.
Your fianc.
- Hurry!
Gina!
Come back, Gina! Stop!
Stop.
This way you won't
continue on your own.
Forgive me, Antoine.
I'm very proud that
I made him jealous.
Careful, he might have
brought his razor.
Goodbye, Gina. You'll be
a beautiful memory of Italy.
Good luck.
Ciao, Antoine.
Slut!
- Idiot!
The French...
always l'amour.
No, they're Italian.
I'm French.
Goodbye, Gina!
I'm Ursula
Lampenberg Schausenberger.
That's not easy to remember.
I'd like you to spell that.
And I like you too.
Thanks.
- I'm simply Antoine.
Well then, let's go Simply Antoine.
That begins well.
Aren't you blushing?
Never, I use sun lotion.
Do you know how to do it?
No, but I'll learn quickly.
- Bitte.
You're a natural.
No, I'm a nudist. It's prudishness
that gives people bad ideas.
Do you have bad ideas?
No, not at all.
You're right, because men and
women are all the same.
There are little differences, though.
No, we all have two legs,
two arms, two ears...
Yes, thank you, I know that.
I know what I'm talking about.
I'm a student of anatomy
at the Heidelberg University.
Beautiful!
A record player.
Thanks, Antoine.
You're a good dancer.
But that's not what I like about you.
I see. What is it then?
My hair?
Guess.
My eyes, maybe.
My mother says they're beautiful,
but that's my mother.
It's not physical.
My intelligence, maybe.
My father says I'm intelligent,
but that's my father.
What I like about you,
is your simplicity.
I'm simple alright.
Dear Antoine, we drove past all the
big hotels and you didn't even look.
But I could see you think:
"Poor little Ursula doesn't
have a fancy dress."
So you stopped here. More my style.
Camping is my style as well.
You're hiding your friendliness.
That's even friendlier.
Shall we go to sleep?
That's a good idea.
A kilo of sugar, please.
Thanks.
Alright...
Goodnight.
Gute Nacht.
They're sleeping.
Three in a tent is intolerable.
It's such a mess.
Is this yours?
And this...
Careful with this.
Do you hear something?
A mosquito.
I've got it.
Don't laugh.
I'm going to freshen up.
Antoine?
- Yes, Ursula.
Are you sleepy?
- No, not really.
Me neither.
Shall we go for a walk?
Hey!
Are you finished?
Shall we go and swim?
I don't have swimming trunks.
Me neither. It doesn't matter.
Yes, but all naked in front of you...
...I'd be embarrassed.
But I'm a nudist.
Go ahead then...
It's like love.
You do it together.
And if you don't do it... heraus!
I'll go then.
Tell me, Ursula...
...don't you want me to
wait for you in your tent?
No, Antoine.
Better wait for me in yours.
Will you come and join me then?
Maybe... for sure.
You're not a gentleman.
As far as I can see...
neither are you.
I don't know you.
Do you only kiss men you know?
Shall we go for a walk?
Ursula?
What?
It's Marchal!
Is he here?
Ursula...
What's he saying?
Ursula...
Ursula.
A bit more oil?
Nein, mein Liebe.
No, no, ich will nicht!
What am I doing here?
What a night!
Buon giorno.
The Stutterer!
Damn!
He doesn't waste any
time with that car.
Have you done anything to it?
- No, boss.
Go and see what's happening.
What is it?
Keep them.
Time for a drive.
Do you know other people here?
An old diabetic friend with whom
I've done business in the past.
That villain sabotaged the car.
The Cadillac in the hands of The Mouse.
A catastrophe!
I'll warn Marchal.
Hello? Pronti, pronta...
I wanta speakee to the Cadillaco.
No, let me.
Antoine, can I drive?
Yes, but be careful.
Careful.
Bravo!
Waiting time? Yes, I'll wait.
Thank you, signorina.
There's sugar everywhere.
The carburettor, the tank...
The bastard.
We're going to suck it out.
Now suck!
Telephone.
Can I answer the phone, Antoine?
Hello?
Hello!
Stop the car.
I can't hear anything.
Miss!
Nein! That comes in handy.
I'd rather talk to you.
Was?
Ich bin... I'm a Freund... friend...
of... Antoine Marchal.
He ist... in danger.
D-a-n-g-e-r... Do you understand?
If you nicht do anything...
...Marchal kaput.
Not... mglich!
I don't know about that...
...because... der Mann...
...the pretty boy...
...ist ein bastard...
...ein grosse bastard...
...who wants to pinch...
...to steal zie Cadillac.
Jawohl.
I'll do my best.
Ja, ja...
I think she understood.
Was it for me?
No, for me.
What a view!
Magnificent.
That deserves to be photographed.
Give me the camera and
I'll take your picture.
Ursula, we'll have our picture taken.
No, I want to get
a bit more of a tan.
Let's go down the stairs.
It's prettier there.
You think?
Do you know the story
of the photographer.
No.
Beautiful!
I know another one.
Here it is.
Magnificent.
Give me the camera.
Stand there.
A bit more to the right.
A bit back, so I get your feet.
More...
A bit more...
Another 10 cm will be fine.
Are you alright?
Are you here?
That's nice.
What a shock.
Where's Marchal?
He's g-g-gone for a swim with
his g-g-girlfriend.
Have a look.
The silencer...
Since you insist, thank you.
The bastard! What a bastard!
Now it will shrink.
Chief! It's true. The sucker's gone
for a swim with the woman, all dressed.
Let's go.
I assure you, Antoine,
it was an attack.
But I'm surprised that
somebody wanted to warn me.
Must have been a friend of yours.
And he was right.
What are you doing?
Can I get a lift?
I broke your battery.
But why?
So the thieves couldn't
steal your beautiful car.
Antoine...
I hate to leave you.
But with you holidays
are no longer holidays.
I can't relax anymore.
I'd prefer a car less pretty,
but more quiet.
Are you coming?
- Yes.
Take care of yourself, Antoine.
Auf Wiedersehen.
I'll get a mechanic to come.
FRENCH CUSTOMS
Police inspector...
Little matters lead to big ones.
Mario Costa...
...matre d', guilty of fencing.
A bit of pressure and...
...he give me the case of the century:
a drugs gang.
Beirut's going to send the biggest ever
shipment of heroin to the US.
And at the same time, they're bringing home
the profits of the Baalbeck heist.
Gold, diamonds, rubies.
And apparently, in the same shipment...
...the You-Koun-Koun diamond.
The diamond that was all over the
papers when it was stolen?
Yes, and all of that in one single car.
Which car?
According to my information, there's
a good chance they'll drive through here.
Since we can't check all the cars,
we'll have to look for the faces.
Here they are...
Know this one?
This one's expected to
go for the jackpot.
We have to cross
the border before he does.
Try the lights, please.
Are they working?
- Yes. The horn...
That's the third time.
Must be a short circuit.
How much for the battery?
- 20.000 liras in total.
What do I do with that?
- It's not working anymore.
Arrivederci.
This thing's heavy.
Passport, please.
- Here it is.
Park there, please.
I'm in a hurry.
Do you have anything to declare?
- I'm in a hurry...
Put your car there.
BORDER 5 km.
Oh no!
I won't stand for it.
Are you finished
with all that noise?
You've been holding me
for two hours now.
Play it cool.
But if Marchal arrives,
we're done for.
Nothing, police inspector.
I'm sorry.
- Oh, it's nothing.
I'm sorry I can't lock you up.
I beg your pardon.
Shut up. Get lost.
That's enough. Go.
Excuse me.
We're finished.
Come here.
Ah... Marchal!
That's it, gentlemen.
Where did they go?
What's his name?
- Sar... Saroyan.
Monsieur Saroyan!
Monsieur Saroyan!
- Such idiots!
Monsieur Saroyan!
Monsieur Saroyan!
What are you doing here?
I'm happy to see you.
If you knew what happened to me...
I don't know you.
There must be some confusion.
You're joking.
Marchal...
That's not me.
- It's me.
The car...
That's quite enough. Don't insist.
Alright then...
You must be right.
Excuse me, I must have
made a mistake.
You, please.
Me?
Yes, yes.
Put your car over there.
What are you looking at?
Didn't I tell you to disappear?
Shut up and get lost.
Your papers, please.
Marchal, the idiot.
To talk to me in front of the inspector.
They'll find everything now.
Not the heroin.
- The rest, idiot.
Shall we leave?
How are the mudguards going?
- We're examining them.
It's not gold.
Just iron.
No jewellery.
No heroin.
And also no You-Koun-Koun.
The famous diamond?
Tell me a bit about Monsieur Saroyan.
Do you know him well?
I thought that...
Ok, you can go.
There he is.
He got through. We're saved.
He's unbelievable.
No, no, not that one.
What do we do?
- There's one there.
Quick!
People are looking.
Don't drive too fast now.
- Please get in, sir.
No gold...
No jewellery...
I don't know you.
There must be some confusion.
Look, they changed cars.
Monsieur Saroyan...
He thought I was some poor bastard.
I'll still drive your car to Bordeaux.
But I'll make a stop in Carcasonne...
Come on.
Come on, damn!
Hurry.
Are you finished?
Knock, knock. Look here.
Are you coming?
Final destination.
Everybody out.
Give me the keys.
And say a prayer.
You threw me in the water,
but I can swim.
So you're going to kill me?
Get out of here.
Or you'll suffer.
Don't try to scare me.
Idiot!
Think about it.
A hero, but no heroin.
Look here...
The battery...
Have a look at it.
The bumpers...
It's not gold.
Just iron.
I d-d-didn't know you knew.
Poor fellow.
Don't you understand that
this car is worthless?
And the Y-Y-You-Koun-Koun?
Just like the rest... in the old Rolls.
Below.
Give me my keys.
If you're a friend of Saroyan's,
why did you betray him?
He hasn't been very honest with me.
OUT OF ORDER
There he is.
Breakfast for the gentlemen?
Yes, three caf au lait.
Without sugar.
- Yes, Monsieur.
Do you mind?
A drawing signed Saroyan...
That's it.
Is one of you Monsieur Saroyan?
What are you saying?
There's a phone call for him.
Where?
- In the phone booth.
Follow me.
Hello?
Hello! Sa... Sa... Saroyan?
The Stutterer!
What do you want, bastard?
Fifty-fifty...
Think about it.
I'm thinking...
Maybe we can talk about it.
Near the city wall, for instance.
In all peace and quiet.
Alright.
I'll announce myself by whistling...
"Plaisir d'Amour".
You must come alone,
or else...
Funny.
Give me number 18-17, Miss.
Martial? This is Antoine.
Are you calling from Paris?
No, Carcassonne.
Are you coming over for lunch?
No thanks.
I'm calling you about something...
Can I help?
The back door to the Rue des
Fosss Verts, does it still exist?
Good, alright, listen...
chagrin d'amour
dure toute la vie
Your friend is calling you on the phone.
Stay here.
Hurry. The boss is in danger.
Rue des Fosss Verts nr. 80.
Welcome.
Little Suzanne... Earlier there were
three gentlemen here, right?
The shortest one...
Who talks like...
When he comes back, tell him he
can't count on his friends anymore.
And return this to him.
He'll find it amusing.
The Italian got reinforcements.
We'll put all the snakes in the same pit.
What can I bring you?
- A beer.
Where are they?
I have to give you this.
What's that?
Mister inspector.
- Shut up.
This is humiliating.
Get in.
The Stutterer!
Get Marchal and take him to
the police station in Bordeaux.
And keep an eye on that Cadillac.
Where are they?
Hip hip hip, hooray!
Bravo!
What's gotten into that horn?
Into that horn?
I know! The You-Koun-Koun...
Here's the You-Koun-Koun diamond.
He keeps surprising me.
In the car with him.
- Me?
I assure you this fellow is innocent.
Everybody to the police station.
Now that I've got you here...
You caused me a lot of problems.
But I'm also solving them for you.
But I'm not worried,
because I'm innocent.
Anyway, I don't hold it against
you, because that was quite a trip.
And that's what life's all about.
Tell me...
No, he can't hear us.
You're going to get the 100 million.
- 100 million?
The reward for the
You-Koun-Koun diamond.
You found it and there are witnesses.
Lots of them.
- So you'll receive the reward.
I must not be as "Koun-Koun"
as I look then.
Tell me...
The 100 million...
What are you going to do with them?
- I don't know yet...
Do you trust me?
Do you trust me?
- Yes...
No! Can you make money like that?
THE END