Crazy Grannies (2021) Movie Script
(SARCASTIC)
Good morning ma.
No, it's a barbwire.
If you don't know that then where am I going?
What am I even saying.
(MOCKING REMARK)
Sorry the accurate time keeper.
Even the bible says.
(BIBLICAL RECITATION)
Out of the mouth of infants and babies...
...He has established strength to conquer my enemies.
Stay there and keep ringing the bell.
What is all this.
That is not done anywhere.
Let it be clear that you are a Yoruba girl
and your name is Ewaoluwa.
What is all this.
- PASTOR: You are sleeping.
- I'm awake.
I'm thankful.
You don't need to be thankful my friend.
Let me tell you.
I'm wide awake.
You are sleeping.
I'm awake sir.
Don't say that Omodele.
The devil is roaming about
we are the one to keep up always.
Where is the baby.
Are they her children?
You mean mummy.
I can see they have matching outfits
No one postrate nowadays
don't smudge pounds on the ground.
Take your hands down and greet properly on your knees
Don't be angry
There is nothing your eyes can do to me.
Keep looking handsome without money in your pocket.
Come and open the door for me or you can't do that too.
Thief.
You are sleeping.
I'm awake sir.
Because...
Our mummy.
OMODELE: Sir.
Who is that sir?
You are sleeping
No sir I'm wide awake
- I said you are sleeping!
- No sir
I see Delilah
See her eyes
I see Savannah
- PASTOR: Our mummy.
- Sir.
I said you are sleeping.
No I'm awake sir.
Because there are still more here.
(SINGING MATCHING SONG)
Read it.
Yes sir.
I'm doomed
You named her Delilah
(SINGING)
Please be patient.
- PASTOR: Our mummy.
- Sir.
You are just sitting there.
Don't drag me in.
Poke-nose.
A very saddening but funny matter.
I won't tell you lies.
Do you think it is easy.
My friend.
Please eat for God's sake or you are toying with ulcer.
I'm about sitting already.
Jesus.
Cheta must you say everything.
So sorry, just wanted to ask.
- OMODELE: We really appreciate you.
- Don't mind her.
What is all that?
Jesus is the husband of the widows.
And what does that means.
Please move aside.
(MIMICKS CHETA)
- ERE: Jesus!! have mercy on me.
- Sorry but Jesus is up in heaven.
- Is there something you can't even say.
- Leave Jesus to stay in heaven.
Should I add a bit of alcohol?
- ERE: For what, can't you talk to her.
- Just to step it down.
Jesus!
Leave me.
Leave me alone.
Blood of Jesus!!
Thank you so much.
But the Bible says
(BIBLICAL QUOTATION)
Children are the heritage of God and offsprings are the reward...
...Just like the arrows are in the hands of mighty men.
That is exactly how a child is.
That's enough mama please
what is it.
It's not your fault to start with
how I wish my son takes after me.
Now I'm talking and you are talking back too
it's not your fault at all.
Where is my food?
Lord, save me from those who despise me.
Don't let me be put to shame Lord.
I'm the one Chidinma is talking to that...
God rise up don't let man prevail.
(PRAYING)
Come, my daughter makes the money right.
Look here.
What is it.
- ERE: Weldone Kayode.
- Good. evening mummy.
How are you.
What is this one you are saying Kayode.
Pastor Igbalode said it.
What is it this time.
Tens of you can't.
I'm telling you.
Wayward hoe.
Don't say anything to her
let her get up and beat me.
Yes I am.
Stand up the army of Christ are behind me.
Beat me and see what will happen to you next.
I will be the one to bury you.
Yes, near me and see if I won't finish you.
She broke my arm Kayode.
Blood of Jesus.
What?
I said it.
The Bible doesn't stand with lies and neither does the law of Moses.
You leave her.
(PRETENCE)
The hand is aching.
She confessed already
She's a prostitute.
What will you do?
What will you do I'm asking.
Can you hear what she's saying to me.
- KAYODE: She's not talking to you.
- She's not talking to me but she's saying pop.
You are the one that will pop.
Can you see her Kayode.
She even touch me.
She has broken my arm.
God will conquer you for me
all principalities will go under.
- ERE: So be it for you.
- Didn't you say she broke your arm just now.
- Yes she did.
- But you were pointing that arm just now.
(INCOHERENT)
Jesus...
(INAUDIBLE CHATTER)
Prostitute.
Keep living with it.
Right in my presence.
While I'm still standing here Kayode.
You should perhaps swallow her.
Swallow her.
You can't stand up to hug me.
You can't.
What is all this for God's sake.
You are fast asleep.
My life.
Our mummy.
Thank you pastor.
Don't say that mummy.
Our mummy you are sleeping.
Take care pastor.
What is it.
WHAMy God.
Are you for real.
It is well.
Come!!
(SINGING)
- (SINGING)
- Mummy what is all this.
(SINGING)
(SINGING)
It's enough what is all this.
Be warned Kayode.
So that the work of the devil will end.
I'm dying because of you.
Yes I'm telling you.
- ERE: All principalities in secret.
- It's okay mummy.
- KAYODE: Mummy just stop all of this.
- What?
You dare to challenge my actions Kayode.
I'm making efforts so you can have children in life
and you dare to ask me what I'm doing.
Do you want to choose her over me.
Why are you begging her.
Look here.
Your coconut tears can't work on me.
We are just getting started.
Mummy fear God.
I should fear God did she?
Did she fear God?
None of that is my business
all I know is that my God is a powerful one.
(SINGING)
If she move close to you.
(SINGING)
We are just getting started
everything evil and diabolic will crumble.
You and who?
So what happen?
(MOCKING REMARK)
No water to wash hand.
Put it on my head.
My Jesus.
This is powerful.
Who is calling me.
So powerful.
Our mummy.
Why sir?
God should have mercy on me.
In your abundance of mercy
erase my transgressions and make me clean.
Oh my God.
Things are hard.
How is that your business.
You will be the one to have ulcer
can you hear her.
Don't lie.
(CHANT)
Jesus! Jesus!!
And you are shouting at me.
In a nutshell.
Isn't that what she said.
What is the matter with you.
So that is your worry.
Please madam.
The ones that aren't here yet because they should
be here if they are not useless.
Sorry
she is about to come up with a lie.
How can you think of hotel in this issue.
You are too fond of talking.
You as well.
So what else.
Take a look at this one.
- ERE: That is not what I asked.
- We will ask them to build you a church before our arrival.
Come on get off.
We are widows Omodele so we need the word.
Stop shouting she is having chest ache.
I pity you
Rubbish
Useless one.
What's wrong?
What happened?
Okay.
Omodele be careful.
That's what brightens you up.
Just be careful.
(INCOHERENTLY)
Jesus!!
(INCOHERENCE)
What is the matter with you.
What is she saying?
What is it exactly.
Just because of ordinary cowhide.
Truthfully.
BOTH: Not at all.
I'm observing a fast.
Why are we here to enjoy.
We are here enjoying ourselves.
What are you drinking?
Let's go.
I won't share mine with her.
So it can be sufficient for both of us so get your own
I'm not giving you either.
So it can be sufficient for us both.
What is wrong with you Cheta?
What is it.
Definitely not me.
Is this what we came here f...
Gentle yet he grabbed your hand that way.
Let's know what we are doing.
It doesn't matter just judge.
How did I cheat.
I just want her to know I've won
Please leave me alone.
Who will dance.
(SINGING MERRILY)
You've ruined it.
(SINGING MERRILY)
ERE: You have lots of problem Cheta.
(SINGING MERRILY)
Jesus!!
Leave me Cheta
Your problem is too much.
Leave me alone.
Lift up your heads you gate.
What is it?
You and who?
Just let me be.
My eyes have seen so much.
What you did is too much now.
Don't call me anymore I'm telling you.
Where did she go to?
Sorry, be careful.
Nobody forced you.
What I'm baffling is bigger than this.
Sorry.
Take care.
I've heard you.
Here she comes.
Let me hold you.
You are the one fueling us to go there.
I didn't listen until I got scammed.
What have I done wrong?
I'm so pained.
Did I ask you to end it for me?
Did I?
God will lay hands on you both.
You are old for nothing.
- OMOLADE: Move away.
- Sorry.
You two are old for nothing.
Jesus...!
May God lay His hands on you.
Father where is your face.
Don't be annoyed.
I wanted to inform you.
Don't be upset.
Why do you keep saying wow.
What is it?
You are troublesome.
I'm sorry.
Don't be angry.
Please.
Thank you my friend.
You don't know your limit Cheta.
We were just forgiven
and all you can think of is starting another one.
You've started pokenosing about what is next.
What did I do?
Jesus...
What is it?
Jesus is the husband to the widow Omodele.
- ERE: Don't let her push you, you are supposed to be with Jesus.
- Will Jesus come and...
OMODELE: Will Jesus come and...
Jesus...!!
Don't let this girl lead you astray Omodele.
Where is she pushing me to.
We are no longer kids.
- We are not kids.
- It's just a fun night so calm down
Jesus!
Why is her leg and head this way
does he want to kill her.
Let's fear God in whatever we are doing.
You better shut up your mouth.
Keep it quiet.
God have mercy.
In your infinite love and kindness.
Erase our transgressions and wash us clean of our sins.
Please for God's sake.
(INCOHERENT)
I'm so sorry my child.
Stand up.
It shall not be well with Pastor Igbalode wherever he is.
His place will be in the fircest part of hell.
He wants me to offend you.
My friend.
Are you kidding.
(ERE BLESSING CHIDINMA)
Thank you my friend.
Good morning ma.
No, it's a barbwire.
If you don't know that then where am I going?
What am I even saying.
(MOCKING REMARK)
Sorry the accurate time keeper.
Even the bible says.
(BIBLICAL RECITATION)
Out of the mouth of infants and babies...
...He has established strength to conquer my enemies.
Stay there and keep ringing the bell.
What is all this.
That is not done anywhere.
Let it be clear that you are a Yoruba girl
and your name is Ewaoluwa.
What is all this.
- PASTOR: You are sleeping.
- I'm awake.
I'm thankful.
You don't need to be thankful my friend.
Let me tell you.
I'm wide awake.
You are sleeping.
I'm awake sir.
Don't say that Omodele.
The devil is roaming about
we are the one to keep up always.
Where is the baby.
Are they her children?
You mean mummy.
I can see they have matching outfits
No one postrate nowadays
don't smudge pounds on the ground.
Take your hands down and greet properly on your knees
Don't be angry
There is nothing your eyes can do to me.
Keep looking handsome without money in your pocket.
Come and open the door for me or you can't do that too.
Thief.
You are sleeping.
I'm awake sir.
Because...
Our mummy.
OMODELE: Sir.
Who is that sir?
You are sleeping
No sir I'm wide awake
- I said you are sleeping!
- No sir
I see Delilah
See her eyes
I see Savannah
- PASTOR: Our mummy.
- Sir.
I said you are sleeping.
No I'm awake sir.
Because there are still more here.
(SINGING MATCHING SONG)
Read it.
Yes sir.
I'm doomed
You named her Delilah
(SINGING)
Please be patient.
- PASTOR: Our mummy.
- Sir.
You are just sitting there.
Don't drag me in.
Poke-nose.
A very saddening but funny matter.
I won't tell you lies.
Do you think it is easy.
My friend.
Please eat for God's sake or you are toying with ulcer.
I'm about sitting already.
Jesus.
Cheta must you say everything.
So sorry, just wanted to ask.
- OMODELE: We really appreciate you.
- Don't mind her.
What is all that?
Jesus is the husband of the widows.
And what does that means.
Please move aside.
(MIMICKS CHETA)
- ERE: Jesus!! have mercy on me.
- Sorry but Jesus is up in heaven.
- Is there something you can't even say.
- Leave Jesus to stay in heaven.
Should I add a bit of alcohol?
- ERE: For what, can't you talk to her.
- Just to step it down.
Jesus!
Leave me.
Leave me alone.
Blood of Jesus!!
Thank you so much.
But the Bible says
(BIBLICAL QUOTATION)
Children are the heritage of God and offsprings are the reward...
...Just like the arrows are in the hands of mighty men.
That is exactly how a child is.
That's enough mama please
what is it.
It's not your fault to start with
how I wish my son takes after me.
Now I'm talking and you are talking back too
it's not your fault at all.
Where is my food?
Lord, save me from those who despise me.
Don't let me be put to shame Lord.
I'm the one Chidinma is talking to that...
God rise up don't let man prevail.
(PRAYING)
Come, my daughter makes the money right.
Look here.
What is it.
- ERE: Weldone Kayode.
- Good. evening mummy.
How are you.
What is this one you are saying Kayode.
Pastor Igbalode said it.
What is it this time.
Tens of you can't.
I'm telling you.
Wayward hoe.
Don't say anything to her
let her get up and beat me.
Yes I am.
Stand up the army of Christ are behind me.
Beat me and see what will happen to you next.
I will be the one to bury you.
Yes, near me and see if I won't finish you.
She broke my arm Kayode.
Blood of Jesus.
What?
I said it.
The Bible doesn't stand with lies and neither does the law of Moses.
You leave her.
(PRETENCE)
The hand is aching.
She confessed already
She's a prostitute.
What will you do?
What will you do I'm asking.
Can you hear what she's saying to me.
- KAYODE: She's not talking to you.
- She's not talking to me but she's saying pop.
You are the one that will pop.
Can you see her Kayode.
She even touch me.
She has broken my arm.
God will conquer you for me
all principalities will go under.
- ERE: So be it for you.
- Didn't you say she broke your arm just now.
- Yes she did.
- But you were pointing that arm just now.
(INCOHERENT)
Jesus...
(INAUDIBLE CHATTER)
Prostitute.
Keep living with it.
Right in my presence.
While I'm still standing here Kayode.
You should perhaps swallow her.
Swallow her.
You can't stand up to hug me.
You can't.
What is all this for God's sake.
You are fast asleep.
My life.
Our mummy.
Thank you pastor.
Don't say that mummy.
Our mummy you are sleeping.
Take care pastor.
What is it.
WHAMy God.
Are you for real.
It is well.
Come!!
(SINGING)
- (SINGING)
- Mummy what is all this.
(SINGING)
(SINGING)
It's enough what is all this.
Be warned Kayode.
So that the work of the devil will end.
I'm dying because of you.
Yes I'm telling you.
- ERE: All principalities in secret.
- It's okay mummy.
- KAYODE: Mummy just stop all of this.
- What?
You dare to challenge my actions Kayode.
I'm making efforts so you can have children in life
and you dare to ask me what I'm doing.
Do you want to choose her over me.
Why are you begging her.
Look here.
Your coconut tears can't work on me.
We are just getting started.
Mummy fear God.
I should fear God did she?
Did she fear God?
None of that is my business
all I know is that my God is a powerful one.
(SINGING)
If she move close to you.
(SINGING)
We are just getting started
everything evil and diabolic will crumble.
You and who?
So what happen?
(MOCKING REMARK)
No water to wash hand.
Put it on my head.
My Jesus.
This is powerful.
Who is calling me.
So powerful.
Our mummy.
Why sir?
God should have mercy on me.
In your abundance of mercy
erase my transgressions and make me clean.
Oh my God.
Things are hard.
How is that your business.
You will be the one to have ulcer
can you hear her.
Don't lie.
(CHANT)
Jesus! Jesus!!
And you are shouting at me.
In a nutshell.
Isn't that what she said.
What is the matter with you.
So that is your worry.
Please madam.
The ones that aren't here yet because they should
be here if they are not useless.
Sorry
she is about to come up with a lie.
How can you think of hotel in this issue.
You are too fond of talking.
You as well.
So what else.
Take a look at this one.
- ERE: That is not what I asked.
- We will ask them to build you a church before our arrival.
Come on get off.
We are widows Omodele so we need the word.
Stop shouting she is having chest ache.
I pity you
Rubbish
Useless one.
What's wrong?
What happened?
Okay.
Omodele be careful.
That's what brightens you up.
Just be careful.
(INCOHERENTLY)
Jesus!!
(INCOHERENCE)
What is the matter with you.
What is she saying?
What is it exactly.
Just because of ordinary cowhide.
Truthfully.
BOTH: Not at all.
I'm observing a fast.
Why are we here to enjoy.
We are here enjoying ourselves.
What are you drinking?
Let's go.
I won't share mine with her.
So it can be sufficient for both of us so get your own
I'm not giving you either.
So it can be sufficient for us both.
What is wrong with you Cheta?
What is it.
Definitely not me.
Is this what we came here f...
Gentle yet he grabbed your hand that way.
Let's know what we are doing.
It doesn't matter just judge.
How did I cheat.
I just want her to know I've won
Please leave me alone.
Who will dance.
(SINGING MERRILY)
You've ruined it.
(SINGING MERRILY)
ERE: You have lots of problem Cheta.
(SINGING MERRILY)
Jesus!!
Leave me Cheta
Your problem is too much.
Leave me alone.
Lift up your heads you gate.
What is it?
You and who?
Just let me be.
My eyes have seen so much.
What you did is too much now.
Don't call me anymore I'm telling you.
Where did she go to?
Sorry, be careful.
Nobody forced you.
What I'm baffling is bigger than this.
Sorry.
Take care.
I've heard you.
Here she comes.
Let me hold you.
You are the one fueling us to go there.
I didn't listen until I got scammed.
What have I done wrong?
I'm so pained.
Did I ask you to end it for me?
Did I?
God will lay hands on you both.
You are old for nothing.
- OMOLADE: Move away.
- Sorry.
You two are old for nothing.
Jesus...!
May God lay His hands on you.
Father where is your face.
Don't be annoyed.
I wanted to inform you.
Don't be upset.
Why do you keep saying wow.
What is it?
You are troublesome.
I'm sorry.
Don't be angry.
Please.
Thank you my friend.
You don't know your limit Cheta.
We were just forgiven
and all you can think of is starting another one.
You've started pokenosing about what is next.
What did I do?
Jesus...
What is it?
Jesus is the husband to the widow Omodele.
- ERE: Don't let her push you, you are supposed to be with Jesus.
- Will Jesus come and...
OMODELE: Will Jesus come and...
Jesus...!!
Don't let this girl lead you astray Omodele.
Where is she pushing me to.
We are no longer kids.
- We are not kids.
- It's just a fun night so calm down
Jesus!
Why is her leg and head this way
does he want to kill her.
Let's fear God in whatever we are doing.
You better shut up your mouth.
Keep it quiet.
God have mercy.
In your infinite love and kindness.
Erase our transgressions and wash us clean of our sins.
Please for God's sake.
(INCOHERENT)
I'm so sorry my child.
Stand up.
It shall not be well with Pastor Igbalode wherever he is.
His place will be in the fircest part of hell.
He wants me to offend you.
My friend.
Are you kidding.
(ERE BLESSING CHIDINMA)
Thank you my friend.