Cruel World (2005) Movie Script
[clears throat]
Let me try this thing.
Okay. Dude, hold it still.
Hey. l'm Bobby, uh, from New York.
l heard about the show.
There's a million dollars to be won,
and l know l can win it.
l wanna be on the show because--
well...
for the money.
There's this whole reality TV craze thing
sweeping across the nation.
l know there's money to be made.
l wanna be on a reality show
because it's not real!
lt's all make-believe.
All these TV shows are bullshit.
All l need is a little money,
if you know what l mean.
Not quite a million, but 500,000
would give me some justice.
The reason l wanna be on the show
is because l wanna be a a star.
l would jump at the opportunity
to participate in a contest with a few...
overall mediocre college kids...
especially for a million dollars.
What would l do for a million dollars?
l think l'd do just about anything
for a million dollars.
You know what l mean?
Mmm, yeah
Feel the moonlight
Mmm, yeah
Coming down
Mmm, yeah
FeeL the moon shine
Mmm, yeah
lt's all around
Gather 'round, children
Listen in
Hear the sound
Search for the answer
As l lay against the ground
Way down
Against the ground
Na na na na
na na na na na na
Oh, yeah
Lay me down
ln the sound
Oh, yeah
Lay me down
ln the sound
Oh, yeah
Lay me down
ln the sound...
[birds rustling]
Looking for me?
Damn it!
Daniel! Not when l hae
coffee in my hands.
l didn't see the coffee.
Okay, well, you got your
practical joke in for the day.
And you know how l feel
when l get my joke in for the day.
[giggling]
l still can't believe l met you
some cheesy reality show.
Lover's Lane. [laughs]
And l picked you in front
of 10 million people.
- Uh-huh.
- Uh-huh.
What?
l still feel like we're being watched.
lt's a good idea that
we kept the cameras
because we paid a fortune
to rent this place out.
Yeah, it's great.
They haen's said what
they're shooting here yet.
Oh, no. No, they have.
lt's, uh, like Survivor
for college students, l think.
Or something like that.
Well, l'm looking forward
to getting away from all this.
Tahiti, here we come.
Where are you going?
l still hae to get some stuff
from the pharmacy for the trip.
What? Right now?
And you're gonna
leave me here like this?
Hey, we're gonna join
the mile-high club, right?
[whistle]
Very funny! l see you!
Honey, come on!
We gotta catch a plane!
[wolf whistle]
[laughs]
Where are you going?
[whistle]
Honey?
Honey.
[gasps]
Philip!
Don't be afraid.
l'm sorry. lt's just--
l thought you were my husband
trying to be funny.
You look like him from far away.
'Cause l'm wearing
a polo shirt and khakis?
[laughs]
You know what? l look different.
l did this whole reality, uh...
extreme makeover show, so...
Lover's Lane wasn't my last reality show.
Oh, well...
- it looks great.
- Thank you. Thank you.
You know, it's coming together.
[chuckles]
So, are you gonna invite
me in for a drink, huh?
- Yeah.
- Come on.
Oh. Shit.
[laughs]
Oh, my God. l remember this place
like it was yesterday.
Yeah.
Man!
That's really cool that they gave
you guys this place after the show.
Yeah, l know, it is.
l'm sorry l popped over
and surprised you like this.
Oh, no, it's fine.
l was just...packing anyway.
So, um, you did an
extreme makeover show?
- Yeah, l did.
- l did.
l didn't wanna hae to
stare at the face.
that got rejected by you
on national TV anymore.
Oh.
Yeah.
[exhales]
God damn.
You rejected me.
[sighs]
Okay, what's going on here, Phillip?
You're starting to scare me now.
Look...
those hidden cameras?
We're being taped.
We are?
Yeah.
Um...
so is that what this is all about?
Because if it is, you can just tell
the network that l'm not cool with it.
[playing piano]
Yeah.
Actually, after
they finish filming this next show,
we're gonna completely
renovate the place,
and, uh, we're gonna remove
all the cameras...and stuff.
l don't even watch
reality shows anymore.
This--this is great TV,
you know that?
Me and you haing this confrontation.
Relax.
They just need a sound-bite.
Uh...
The money shot.
So?
Tell me.
Did you loe me?
i did love you.
You're lying to me.
You know what? i did loe you.
l just--l didn't think
i could make you happy.
[snaps fingers]
This isn't a reality show.
Then what is it?
This is me and you.
You know what? Enough!
Okay, Philip,
you need to leave now.
Hey, you can't make me
leae this time.
i'm the producer.
- You're the producer?
- Yes.
My contestants are
arriving this afternoon.
Your contestants.
l sent out ads
in college newspapers.
You wouldn't beliee how many people
wanna be on reality shows these days.
it's insane.
By the way, you should thank me
because l'm the one who paid top dollar
for rent for this place.
i don't think that's gonna work, sweetie.
You looking for this?
You know what? This is not funny!
l want you to leave now!
Okay, okay, calm down.
Calm down.
i promise you. l promise you, okay?
l'm gonna leae.
i'm gonna leae.
l'm two seconds away
from calling the cops.
The phone doesn't even work.
What do you want?
i want you to feel my pain!
You bitch! it hurts!
Look...
i want you to see something.
[turns on TV]
All right, Catherine....
i wanna tell you...
that i love you,
and i will always treat you well.
Let me, uh, just stop you
right there, okay?
First of all, l just want you to know
that i do love you,
but l don't think that
l could make you happy,
and this is where
l have to say good-bye.
l don't understand.
l'm not like other men, Catherine.
Sorry.
Uhh!
Looking for these?
[manic laughter]
Aah!
[beeping]
[gasps]
The cops will be here any second.
Oh! Oh, l'm so scared!
[beeping]
Honey?
[gasps]
Oops!
[laughs]
That's gotta hurt.
[laughs]
[doorbell rings]
Go get the door.
[ring]
l'm Sheriff Tony Boyle.
This is Deputy John Grady.
Hi.
Nice to meet you, Mrs...
Oh, uh, Catherine Daniel Anderson.
Your alarm went off.
The alarm company called,
but couldn't reach you.
Right. Um, i did that, actually.
Eerything's fine.
i set it off by accident.
And l, um... l...turned it off.
Mrs. Anderson,
i need to ask you something.
What's your mother's
maiden name?
Walters.
That checks out.
Going for a trip?
Uh, actually, we're going
to Tahiti for three weeks.
- Well, have a safe trip.
- Thank you.
Bye.
You know who these people are,
don't you, Sheriff?
- No, who are they?
- Lover's Lane?
lt's a reality TV show,
kinda like Joe Millionaire,
only the girl reveals
she's a waitress, not a millionaire.
That's the girl!
She's a millionaire now, though.
You watch too much television.
Where's Daniel?
[exhales]
He's in the pool.
Daniel! Daniel!
- Listen to me!
- Get off of me!
lf you get voted off this show,
you get voted off for good!
l fucking love you!
l love you!
Please don't kill me!
Tell me the truth. Do you love me?
- l loe you!
- Tell me the truth!
l love you!
Please don't kill me!
You know what?
This is the final twist in our little show.
You are fired.
No!
[exhales]
Oh, shit, l gotta clean up.
Ooh.
Only love
ls constant
Only love
ls constant
lt's all in your mind
As it is
So shall it be
For me, it's what it's about, l is
l is
[cell phones ringing]
[Philip on P.A.]
All right. Welcome.
Congratulations for being
picked for this contest.
Don't forget to leave
your cell phone at the door.
Your luggage is being taken care of,
so please proceed
to the living room for further instructions.
Yum. Yummy yummy.
Oh, yeah!
This is amazing.
[Girl]
Whoo whoo!
Aah!
[all gasp]
[laughs]
Oh, my God!
You asshole!
- You gotta lighten up.
- You scared me, dude.
Cool place.
[Philip]
All right. Listen up.
Welcome.
Each of you have been chosen
from over 50,000
college student applicants.
Every day, there will be
a new challenge.
The winner of each competition
gains immunity from being voted out.
The remaining contestants
must vote out a player.
Besides that, there are no rules.
What l'm creating is
more interesting than real life.
So l need heroes, and l need villains.
So first, l wanna hear
each role you are gonna play.
Yeah, well, l'm the bad boy
that your mama warned you about.
[all laugh]
Um, l'm the hero.
l'm a Dixie darlin'.
Yes, you are.
Well, l'm the sexual
flexible poetic intellectual.
Ooh!
Clearly.
Just kidding.
l'm, uh, the goofy guy. Duh.
l guess, um, l'm the shy one.
l'm the shy one. You're the Asian.
l'm just a farm boy.
Yee-hah.
And l am the hot, spicy Latina baby.
Whoo!
Work it!
[Philip]
All right. Now, l need the verbal fights.
l need the physical fights.
l need the emotional
breakdowns, okay?
The more the merrier.
And by the way, at the buffet,
eat as much as you can,
because later,
we're gonna starve you.
All right. Good luck.
Wow.
Okay, l get the middle.
lt's not so bad.
Wow.
Okay, who wants to get drunk?
Wake up, you guys.
- Hey!
- That's more like it.
No more sleeping.
We're not sleeping, we're drinking.
- Who's drinking?
- Mm-mmm.
Wait. So, you guys,
what do you guys think
is, like, the whole twist here?
There's always a twist.
Whoa. Was that an echo?
Echo? Echo?
- Oh!
- Shut up!
Oh, come on!
There's absolutely no twist.
l mean, there's nothing
wrong with having
a little cocktail with your meal.
- Absolutely.
- There's no meal.
What if alcohol's a trick
to weed out the weak?
Oh, l mean, come on, anyone here--
ls anyone here an alcoholic?
Only at meetings.
Eery Monday at the church.
All right, you guys, l got a toast.
Here is to the players
and to the game.
Don't hate the players,
hate the game.
[all]
Cheers.
Whoo!
[Latin]
Who wants a body shot?
Yeah, l want a body shot.
Freestyle, baby!
[yelling]
Oh, nice ass!
You want ass?
[screams]
Keep going.
All right, guys, l've been thinking.
We should form a pact.
Oh, yes. l agree. Let's do it!
- Sweet!
- l'm in.
But don't think that we don't all
hae our eyes on you, Tricky Ricky.
Don't try to manipulate us now.
- What?
- Uh-huh!
We're smarter than you think, man.
Don't try to play us.
Wait. Where's the love, you guys?
- Not here.
- All right.
Fine. Cheers to the foursome.
You guys can watch me.
[all laugh]
There we go.
Winning team, babe.
Mikko, why are you sitting
all by yourself?
Oh, you know, l'm just thinking.
You know, first impressions
are everything when you wanna win.
Yeah, l know. l, um...
l just made a pact with Ruby.
Yeah?
You wanna join us?
Yeah, of course l do.
- Really?
- Yeah. Thank you.
Hell yeah.
[sighs]
Okay, Well...
l'm so relaxed.
Thank you.
l'm out.
Buenas noches, y'all.
See ya.
See you in a while.
Yeah. Um, l'm out.
l'm tired and relaxed and stuff.
You know what?
Forming the pact kinda
feels like l already won.
Well, l'm-- l'm all about winning.
What exactly do you think you're doing?
l was just coming back for seconds.
You know what?
All body shots aside,
l know exactly what you're doing.
You're just trying
to gain my trust to secure your ote.
l'm not trying to gain your trust.
l'm just trying
to get a nice friendly kiss.
But l understand. No, l understand.
l respect you, you know?
l came here hoping to meet a nice girl,
and you're a nice Southern girl.
- Wait, hold on.
- Hi.
[clears throat]
See, usually when
l give my world-class massages--
Mm-hmm?
l'm kinda used to finishing them up
with a happy ending, you know?
Happy ending.
[speaking Spanish]
Okay.
So...
in these happy endings,
does this mean you would
maybe...start right here?
You know...neck area
and then...
down here?
And then...
end up...
down there?
Yeah, yeah.
l love playing sports.
[whispering]
But l'm not into bats and balls.
[sighs]
[laughing]
That's strike on, Techno.
Ay yi yi.
- Utah.
- Yep.
What do you do in Utah?
lt's kinda out there, huh?
Yeah, it's kinda far.
But l work on a ranch.
You know, chickens,
pigs, horses, cattle, that type of thing.
lt's a heck of a lot of fun, though.
l think you'd like it.
[mocking]
l work on a ranch with chickens and pigs.
lt's a heck of a lot of fun.
[laughs]
Oh, that's so sad.
So, uh...
you got a girlfriend?
No. No. No.
l was thinking we could
help each other, you know?
Looks like they're forming an alliance.
You don't vote me off,
l won't vote you off.
What do you say?
Well, Mikko and l made a pact,
so you'd hae to join us.
Okay.
You gotta let me initiate you first, though.
Okay.
[laughs]
lnitiation, baby!
Can l sit?
Sure.
You looked really nice at the pool today.
Thanks.
So you go to UCSB, right?
Yeah.
- You like it?
- Yeah.
And what are you studying?
Design.
- Design.
- Yeah.
Um, l used to model, so...
l got more interested
in...l don't know,
behind the camera
and putting fashion shows together
and design clothes, stuff like that.
As you speak olumes
of distant passions,
success by means of fashion,
between lines of rhetoric,
l catch a glimpse of your soul.
lt speaks not of physical grace,
slim waist, backside,
a beautiful face.
But l saw a chemistry,
emissions of positive energy,
how our connectivity
creates such synergy,
which is why l predict,
forecast, foretell, in time
l'm sure l'll know you well.
Wow.
Spoken words, poetic things,
are one of the many,
many things l do very well.
lvy League rap poet.
l can't take all the credit, though.
[coughs]
l guess not.
What?
All right, Techno, this is just getting sad.
Do you think these pants look
too tight on my hiney?
These blue pants? Huh?
They're a little tight.
Do you think l need, like,
liposuction or something?
[softly]
Wow.
You have awesome hair.
[laughs]
Drop it down, Rapunzel.
Show us those golden locks.
[both laugh]
She is beautiful.
[laughs]
What was that?
You knocked my book out of my hand.
l'm sorry. Jesus Christ!
Watch it, Malibu Barbie.
Oh, sorry, Tex!
Hell no!
Shut up!
[all shouting[
[rock]
[all groan]
[Philip]
All right, guys.
All nine of you have a shot at winning
one million dollars.
You will get in the coffin
and close the lid on yourself.
And it will lock.
lnside, you must find the key
to open the lock from the inside.
The first one who gets out
gets a special surprise.
ls everybody ready?
- Yeah. Yeah.
- Ready.
- Let's do it.
- Yeah.
All right. Get in, close the lids.
[screaming, groaning]
[screaming]
Ew!
l can do this!
[mumbling]
Ow!
[mumbling]
[crying]
[groaning]
[gasps]
[yelling]
[pounding]
Hurry!
Oh, are you guys feeling
a little claustrophobic?
l'm so sorry.
[all pounding, yelling]
Okay! Let me out!
Let me out of here!
Just keep going. You got it, girl.
[screams]
Let me out of here!
[Philip]
And Ruby is the winner!
Ruby, would be so kind
and save your loser friends?
[panting]
[Jenny]
Open the door!
Hang on.
[screams]
You okay?
[Philip]
Ruby, how did you do it?
Just tried to keep my cool.
Well, guess what.
Ruby wins the special prize!
Yay!
- Good job, Ruby.
- All right, Ruby!
- Oh, sweet!
- No way!
This is amazing!
[both yelling]
[gasps]
Yes!
Mmm! l'm so hungry.
You have a Jacuzzi, woman!
l guess l am just
gonna hae to get in the Jacuzzi!
Whoo!
l coming to join you!
Now that...
that is awesome.
[Philip]
He's in the lead!
He's gonna do it!
- He's gonna do it!
- [rings bell]
Congratulations, Techno!
Yeah! Tonight, l get the crib!
[Philip]
Not quite yet, Techno.
l need you to do something.
What l want you to do
is push Jack in the pool.
- What?
- What?
All the keys are at the bottom.
- Uh-uh.
- He'll drown.
Well, not if he finds the right key.
That's like 9 feet deep, man!
That's crazy!
[Philip]
Push Jack into the pool.
Come on.
[Techno]
No, no.
This is a joke, right?
This has got to be a joke.
l guess Techno doesn't
want to be the winner.
Whoever pushes Techno into the pool
is the winner.
Hasta la vista! Yo!
[Philip]
Congratulations, Jack.
[all yelling, shouting]
[Jack]
l'm the winner!
Somebody's gotta do something!
Yo, where are the divers?
The keys!
Somebody's gotta do something!
We need divers! We need help!
Come on!
We need fucking help!
[all talking]
Jack!
Get him oer!
He's okay! He's okay!
[all talking]
l don't get this contest.
What do you mean?
Don't you find it
a little weird, any of this?
Yeah, but that's how
these things work, Rube.
They're just trying to scare us.
They're trying to freak us out.
This is bullshit.
l don't know if l want to keep going.
Come on, let's just stay in it for two days
and see how it goes.
lt's a million dollars, Ruby.
You know what?
l just need a minute to think, all right?
[sighs]
l'll come in in a little bit.
- You sure?
- Yeah.
Okay, fine.
[all talking]
[Philip] When was the last time
any of you saw Ruby?
Yeah, l left her by the pool.
Well, she said she wanted
to think for a minute.
l'll go get her.
This is crazy.
Ruby?
Rube?
Okay. So no sign of her,
but l found her necklace in the pool.
[Philip]
Gina?
Ruby quit.
What?
Gina, Ruby has been sent home.
And, uh, l have some
bad news for you, too.
lt looks like you're being sent home, too.
You're sending me home?
Looks like all your friends
decided to vote you off.
Why?
You were the last one to see Ruby.
lf she was trippin' out,
you should have been supportie.
Are you serious?
You're gonna blame me for that?
Okay, Gina,
did Ruby at any time indicate that she
was distressed or upset?
No, she just said she wanted
to sit by the pool for a minute.
Well, then did you ask her if she
needed or wanted some company?
No, l did not ask her
if she wanted or needed company.
Since when does not asking someone
if they want company wrong?
So you're saying that you didn't ask her.
So basically you abandoned her
in her time of need?
Jack, stop with this lawyer shit, okay?
You know what? Enough!
l'm sorry, okay?
Gina, we're all really sorry.
l can't believe you guys.
l mean, doesn't any one of you
find it really strange
that Ruby left her necklace in the pool?
Wouldn't she at least look for it
before she left?
[Philip]
We can't stop the show for Ruby's necklace.
We will make sure
she gets her necklace.
Fine.
Oh. You know what?
Voting me out...
is actually a really good strategic move.
Because everybody here knows
that l'm the frontrunner,
and that is a conspiracy.
lt's not a conspiracy.
He made us vote for someone,
and we oted for you.
[speaking Spanish]
[Philip]
Enough with this, Gina!
You're being sent home!
[Gina speaking Spanish]
You guys,
l will see you in the morning.
[man laughs]
This...
This is a joke, right?
[Gina chuckles]
What's funny?
Oh, no! No! Please!
Please!
Please! Please don't!
Please! Por favor!
[speaking Spanish]
Por favor.
Please.
No! No! No!
No! No!
[screaming]
What are you doing in here?
You're not supposed to be in this room.
This contest is so screwed up.
There are no rules.
So l'm gonna make up my own.
You mind if l join you?
Be my guest.
Don't even think about it.
[whispering, indistinct]
Ah.
[Philip]
All right, you guys.
Only seven of you remain
to compete for
the one million dollars!
[cheering]
As you all know,
one challenge is a continuing one,
the lack of food.
l'm sure you're all starving.
However, in this challenge,
each one of you is going to be faced
with a very primal fear.
Blood!
[all groan]
l like blood!
But if you succeed,
you will have a meal.
- Whoo-hoo!
- Yeah!
l'm famished!
Yum yum yum.
Yum yum.
[laughs]
[Philip]
Bobby, open the drape!
[all gasp]
- Man!
- Oh, man!
[laughs]
On camera?
And they're totally gonna air this.
Each of you have to cut out
and edible piece with your name.
And then you're having it for lunch.
Gross, dude.
Beware, though.
lf you cut the wrong piece,
it gets very bloody.
- You're kidding.
- Do it.
What are you getting?
A rib!
Oh, God!
- What is he getting?
- A rib.
Ugghhh!
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God!
That sucker's bleeding.
Whoo-hoo!
Yeah!
That is disgusting!
l got a big piece of meat.
- Blaah!
- Aahhh!
Oh! Shit!
Cut it out and do it!
- Good job!
- Come on!
Good job! Good girl! Come on!
[all talking]
Come on!
Carve it!
[all talking]
Aarrgghh!
lt'd be better if it was cooked, Jack.
Why? l heard you like raw meat.
No, l don't like raw meat.
Oh, Mr. Hee-Haw over there
likes his meat cooked.
l like it worked.
What is this shit?
lt's probably cow's stomach lining.
Hey, Colin, when you get angry,
do you beat your meat?
That was cheesy.
- Ha ha ha!
- Stupid!
[drops fork]
You okay?
[coughs]
Did she throw up?
Are you okay?
[coughs]
[Philip]
You win some, you lose some, Mikko.
Pack your bags.
Bye, Mary-Kate.
Ashley and l will miss you.
- Shut up!
- Fuck off!
[Philip]
Hello, Mikko!
Hi.
l just wanted to talk to you
before you leave.
Okay, fine.
Let's talk.
Well--[clears throat]-- First,
l wanna tell you that l'm watching you
right now as we speak.
l'm in the bathroom.
You can't be watching me.
Hey, l'm not lying.
Why don't you do something,
and l'll tell you what you did.
Oh!
Obscene gestures!
Come on, show me your tits.
You're watching us in the bathroom?
You sick son of a--
[laughs]
[screams]
[laughs]
Oh!
[screams]
Aahhh!
She peed.
Aaahhh!
[screaming]
[laughs]
[pounding on door]
All right, only six of you remain
to compete for the one million dollars!
[all cheering]
[Philip]
ln this challenge,
you will hunt each other
with paintball guns.
The contestant who has been shot
the fewest times,
of course, is the winner.
No one is allowed to hide
or avoid action.
You have ten seconds
before you start shooting.
Go!
1 0...
9...
8...
7...
6...
5...
4...
3...
2...1 .
[paintball guns firing, girls screaming]
What are you doing?
You're the drier.
l'm also a player.
Then where's your paint gun?
Right here.
[laughs]
You're dead.
Shit!
Are you crazy?
l guess l forgot to tell you about this part,
Techno.
[laughs]
l'm just testing you.
l like your style, Techno.
What's going on here?
Did l miss something?
- Yeah, you are missing something.
- What?
All right. Listen up.
Remember that part in Average Joe
where they brought out all these hunks?
l mean, that really pissed me off.
You know what l'm saying?
Yeah, l--l totally agree with you.
They did need something
for the third act, right?
l mean, to kind of spice it up.
Am l right, Techno? Come on.
Yeah, yeah. That makes sense.
You're so right!
You know, they bring out
these fucking goddamn hunks,
totally humiliate
the fuck out of these poor,
pathetic, fat, ugly pieces of shit!
That really pisses me off!
Yeah, yeah. lt really pissed me off, too!
Techno, come on now.
What's wrong with you?
You're too agreeable.
[laughs]
l think it's time for you to go.
Bye.
What do we have here, Grady?
Sheriff, we got a Jane Doe.
No injuries to speak of, but, uh...
take a look at her fingernails.
Looks like she was buried alive.
Tried to dig her way out.
We just found this girl buried alive.
You know anything at all
that might help us?
No. No, l'm sorry.
You seen anything strange
going on in the neighborhood?
Nope.
ls there anything else
l can help you guys with?
No, that should do it.
Oh.
Cool.
You enjoy your sandwich.
[Philip]
Thank you.
[gasps]
[laughs]
You are such an asshole.
[growls]
Mmm.
You know the cameras can see us.
l don't care.
[clears throat]
So...how do you really
feel about her, Bobby?
l'm so hungry, l could eat her saliva, Jack.
Ew.
Where's Techno gone, Jack?
They're probably
eating worms in the garden again.
Techno quit the paintball challenge.
Well, they probably sent him home.
Where else would he be?
l am so famished!
l could eat you, dude.
You know what? We should
go find some food.
All right.
Come on.
[door closes]
[keys turning]
Claude!
What did l tell you about
playing with my stuff?
l'm just watching. l made it.
[Philip]
Ah.
[laughs]
Poor little bitch.
[laughs]
Good work, Claude.
Thank you.
Fucking door's open. Go shut it.
[door closes]
- She was buried alive.
- Oaky. lt's fake.
All right? This is all make-believe.
lt's all a part of the little game.
l mean, you're on teleision.
Remember?
You signed up for it?
l'm gonna do some
nasty, nasty, nasty things to her.
No!
No, you said l could hae her!
You said l could have Jenny!
No!
Claude, l'm too tired.
- No!
- Claude.
No!
No! No! No! No! No!
Claude--
No!
No, Philip, no!
You said l could have Jenny!
Jenny's mine!
- You promised!
- Uugghh!
You said if l did it, l could have Jenny!
That's all l want is Jenny!
[mocking]
l want Jenny! l want Jenny!
Then why don't you keep your promise?
All right, l promise!
[sobbing]
All right, Philip?
All right.
l swear.
You can have Jenny.
l love you, Philip.
You're my brother. l loe you.
l love you, too.
l don't care. l'm leaing.
Okay, fine!
But l'm staying right here!
And l am winning!
lt's a game, man! lt's not real!
We're locked in.
l'm getting out of here.
Whoa, relax. lt's locked!
What do you mean it's locked?
There's a iron gate
on the door! lt's locked!
Wait!
You signed up for this game!
- [all yelling]
- l don't care!
- Aah!
- My God!
[all talking]
Get him in.
Get him down. Get him down.
Are you okay?
- [buzzer]
- What's that?
l don't know.
Breathe.
Jenny!
[buzzer]
[screams]
There is a dead woman in there!
[crying]
What? You wanna play?
Let's play!
- No!
- Come on!
l'm sick of this!
What is your problem?
What do you want?
l swear, if l find you,
l'll crack your skull!
Um, Mr. Producer, sir?
You know, l--l was just wondering,
like, you know,
what's your angle here?
Because if there really is a dead body
somewhere over there,
then, you know, l don't think
that you can air that on teleision...
can you?
Don't be so, like, naive, Jack.
This is gonna be the biggest
reality show of all time.
Especially with the new twist.
Please, no more twists, please.
- Jack, no!
- Shut up, Colin!
That's it! This is oer for you!
You're done watching us!
Bobby! lf you break that camera,
the show will be oer!
This show is over.
Like l said, Bobby!
l would not do that if l were you!
Why don't you do me a faor
and look out the window?
[laughs]
Look out the window!
What is it?
[laughs]
[screams]
[all screaming]
Guess what.
lt's time for the next challenge!
Yay!
[alarm beeping]
[all yelling]
[grunting]
No! No!
[alarm stops]
Oh, my God.
Guys--guys, don't you see?
He's playing a game with us.
[Jack]
Colin, you are officially retarded!
Shut the fuck up, Jack!
Enough! Enough!
What if we don't play?
[coughs]
Did l do good, big brother?
You did really good, Claude.
You know what we need now?
We need a finale.
Kinda like that big
sex romp in Big Brother?
Remember?
[laughs]
To make Jenny reveal something.
Yeah...to make Jenny reeal everything.
[laughs]
You wanna draw or something?
Yeah. l wanna draw Jenny.
[Philip]
All right! Listen up!
lt's time for our next challenge.
And whoever doesn't play
gets sent home...
and we all know what that means.
Now only five of you remain.
All right, our next challenge
is a steel-caged match to the death.
Jack, Colin, get in that cage!
lt's still a game, isn't it?
Let's rock and roll.
l'll play.
[mocking]
"l'll play."
You bet you'll play.
[Philip]
Bobby, lock them in the cage.
[Philip]
Grab your sword.
lt's a duel to the death!
Let's rock and roll!
Jenny, if you don't watch,
you will be sent home.
Jenny! Watch!
She's fine!
We're watching, okay?
Hey, guys, careful.
Fear swing.
No! Colin!
[Philip]
Do it!
Do it!
Kill him!
No! Please!
Please.
l can't!
l can't.
l can't do it.
l can!
[girls screaming]
[sighs]
Good afternoon, Philip.
[Southern voice]
Good afternoon, Sheriff.
We just came back
to ask you if you mind
if we take a look around.
Actually, that'll be a problem with me
because, you know,
l'm shooting this reality show,
and all my guests, you know,
they hae to be sequestered.
So if you come in, you'll ruin my show.
Of course.
We understand.
Okay.
But we're still coming back
with a search warrant.
l'm sorry l couldn't help you more.
[Philip laughs]
[laughs]
Aarrggh!
[patrol car starts]
[Philip]
Good morning!
Good morning!
lt's a brand new day
So good morning
Good morning to you!
Okay. Well, now only four of you remain.
So, our next challenge
is a stamina challenge.
Jenny, stay awake.
[Philip]
All right.
Two hours and counting.
We got a battle of the sexes.
[crying]
lt's okay.
[Philip]
Jenny! How are we doing, Jenny?
[laughs]
Ashley! Ashley, hold on!
[Philip]
Whoooohhh!
Look, Ashley's got that look now.
Hey, Bobby,
did you know that Ashley humped Jack?
No, l didn't!
Don't listen to him Ashley.
He just wants you to fall.
[Philip]
Hey, now, l got the video to prove it!
l'm gay.
[Philip]
Wow. l'm impressed.
Eight hours and counting.
Well, all right.
l guess we'll have to
Step this one up a notch.
Claude, do your business.
[crying]
Fat fuck! l hate you!
Oh! No!
[Philip]
We have a winner!
No! That's not fair!
You didn't play by the rules!
[Philip]
Oh! Life's not fair, Jack!
Go home.
Oh, yes! l have another twist.
lf you let Jack in the house,
we have to start this
challenge all over again.
So you probably shouldn't do that.
Let me go!
[all yelling]
That's for Colin!
[door closes]
Please.
Please! Let me in!
Please! You're killing me!
Let me in!
They'll kill me!
My death is on your hands!
- [rifle cocks]
- l don't wanna die!
[crying]
Please! What did l do to you?
Please don't kill me!
Shit!
Hey! Hey! Help me!
Help me! Help me!
Just one of us should go.
l'll go.
You sure?
Yeah, l'll go.
Uhh!
[crying]
[alarm beeping]
[screams]
No.
Oh, my God.
lt's okay. lt's okay.
[crying]
l don't understand.
l'm not like other men, Catherine.
You can't send me home.
[Catherine]
l'm sorry.
l'm sorry.
[crying]
She made...
a really big mistake.
[laughs]
And she's gonna regret this.
Listen,
l'm gonna get you out of here, okay?
l just don't wanna do this anymore.
lt's okay.
This isn't a game.
l'm gonna get you
out of here, l promise.
[Philip]
Good morning.
Now, have we learned
our lesson yet, hmm?
Yeah.
Good.
Well, it's time for the finale.
[sighs]
You know what?
He gotta be someone near.
What's this?
Listen,
stay here, okay?
- What if he sees me?
- No, no, no.
Speed.
Here he comes.
Here he comes.
Here he comes.
Now.
l told you.
l told you l would find you!
Look, Bobby,
you're making a huge mistake. Please.
Please. God, please
don't shoot me. Please.
Why? Why?
You're making a huge mistake!
Stop! Now!
This show is oer!
[click]
Ah!
[laughs]
Sucker.
[taser]
Aah!
l take it you met my brother!
[taser]
Ugghh!
[Philip]
All right. Are you excited?
l'm excited!
lt's time for the finale!
Poor little rich boy.
What, nobody ever loved you?
Yep, you're right.
Nobody ever loved us.
Jenny, you're a genius.
All right. All you have to do
is walk across the beam.
And don't fall.
Okay! All right!
Ready?
Set?
Go!
Now!
Come on, Jenny.
Come on. You can do it.
Come on.
One step at a time.
There you go.
l'm here.
You can do this, okay?
Okay?
- No.
- Yes.
Yes, you can.
[laughs]
God bless your soul, Bobby!
Congratulations, Jenny!
You...are...the...winner!
Yeah!
Jenny won!
[chuckles]
[cocks rifle]
You're supposed to let me go, Claude.
l won.
l can't let you go till the finale party.
And what's the finale party?
lt's like the sex romp in Big Brother
where you reveal something.
Oh, yeah.
[whispering]
Like what?
Oh, it feels so good.
You'll like it better if you let me go.
[sighs]
Do you like me?
l do. l do.
l do like you, Claude.
l think Philip is jealous.
l think so, too.
Come on.
Come with me.
lt's okay.
Don't you want me
to be happy, Claude?
Yes.
Then let me go.
Don't you want your million dollars?
You can mail it to me.
l can come with you.
Yeah.
Fuck you!
Bitch!
Help!
Hi.
[screams]
Oh, my God!
Hi, Philip.
Did you get my Milky Way bars?
Yes, Claude, l got your
fucking Milky Way bars.
But you know what?
l asked you to do one goddamn thing!
And that's watch Jenny!
l was watching Jenny, okay?
But then she said she loed me!
Oh, man, that's what they all fucking say!
[screaming]
[Jenny screaming]
No! No! No! No!
Let me go!
Freeze!
Aah!
Cheer up. lt's a beautiful day.
Please.
[muffled screaming]
[sighs]
[laughs]
l guess l missed.
Okay. lt's time to go.
[muffled screaming]
l guess the last bullet
goes to the winner.
And that's you, Jenny!
- No.
- Move out of the way, Claude.
Move out of the way, Claude.
- l said fucking moe out of the way!
- l said no!
- Move out of the way!
- We hae the winner!
Move out of the way!
What the fuck is wrong with you?
You said l could have Jenny!
l gotta leave you, Claude. l gotta go.
Philip, don't leave me!
Philip, don't leave me!
Please, don't leave me, Philip!
- Listen to me. You're insane.
- l'm sorry!
l'm not.
l'm gonna go to
the gas chamber, not you.
You're gonna be okay.
But l gotta go. l love you.
l'm insane, but l love you!
[weeping]
Okay. Okay.
Okay.
l love you, Claude.
[sirens]
Come on!
[yelling]
l'm insane!
You don't loe me, Jenny!
Don't moe!
No, l'm insane!
[yelling incoherently]
No! Jenny!
[weeping]
l'm the Sheriff. You're gonna be fine.
[crying]
Okay, go.
- l'm ready when you are.
- Right.
All right.
Do what you gotta do, babe.
All right.
Go team.
- Okay, ready?
- Okay.
3...2...
lt's been one year since
the reality show tragedy
happened right here behind these gates.
But the question that still remains
is how could this happen?
Wait, wait. We're gonna--
lt's jammed. l'm sorry. Hold on.
But there's more.
After this little fix-it,
we're gonna interview the murderer,
and he's gonna give us
a walk-through
on where he's placed
everybody's limbs.
Maybe we'll hae a sance after that--
Okay, thank you, Carol.
Good. Good stuff.
You're next on 20/20.
Okay, here we go. Ready?
3...2...
lt's been one year since
the reality show tragedy
happened right here
behind these gates.
- [cell phone rings]
- Shit! l'm sorry.
- [cell phone rings]
- Oh, God.
Sorry.
Oh, my God.
Holy moley. Let's get out of here.
We gotta get the hell out of here.
Come on, let's go.
Oh, my God.
Come on!
[people chatting]
[cell phone rings]
How we doing, Jenny?
[rock]
Oh
Yeah, yeah
You wanna sell me the love you bring
But what's that look in your eye?
Are you suspending reality?
Or is it all in my mind?
Good-bye
Drift away from the sky
Angel
Watching the world go by
[spoken]
Since you've passed,
one of infinite beauty.
And how l wanted her.
Butterfly
Watching the deep blue eyes
Angel
She opens up my mind
Please understand what l feel for you
l'll lift the stars in the sky
l will surrender my soul to you
But will you stay by my side?
My butterfly
Butterfly
Drifting above the sky
Angel
Watching the world go by
Sunshine
She opens up my mind
Beauty
The one with the purple light
Butterfly
Drifting above the sky
Angel
Watching the world go by
Sunshine...
Subtitled By J.R. Media Services, lnc.
Burbank, CA
Let me try this thing.
Okay. Dude, hold it still.
Hey. l'm Bobby, uh, from New York.
l heard about the show.
There's a million dollars to be won,
and l know l can win it.
l wanna be on the show because--
well...
for the money.
There's this whole reality TV craze thing
sweeping across the nation.
l know there's money to be made.
l wanna be on a reality show
because it's not real!
lt's all make-believe.
All these TV shows are bullshit.
All l need is a little money,
if you know what l mean.
Not quite a million, but 500,000
would give me some justice.
The reason l wanna be on the show
is because l wanna be a a star.
l would jump at the opportunity
to participate in a contest with a few...
overall mediocre college kids...
especially for a million dollars.
What would l do for a million dollars?
l think l'd do just about anything
for a million dollars.
You know what l mean?
Mmm, yeah
Feel the moonlight
Mmm, yeah
Coming down
Mmm, yeah
FeeL the moon shine
Mmm, yeah
lt's all around
Gather 'round, children
Listen in
Hear the sound
Search for the answer
As l lay against the ground
Way down
Against the ground
Na na na na
na na na na na na
Oh, yeah
Lay me down
ln the sound
Oh, yeah
Lay me down
ln the sound
Oh, yeah
Lay me down
ln the sound...
[birds rustling]
Looking for me?
Damn it!
Daniel! Not when l hae
coffee in my hands.
l didn't see the coffee.
Okay, well, you got your
practical joke in for the day.
And you know how l feel
when l get my joke in for the day.
[giggling]
l still can't believe l met you
some cheesy reality show.
Lover's Lane. [laughs]
And l picked you in front
of 10 million people.
- Uh-huh.
- Uh-huh.
What?
l still feel like we're being watched.
lt's a good idea that
we kept the cameras
because we paid a fortune
to rent this place out.
Yeah, it's great.
They haen's said what
they're shooting here yet.
Oh, no. No, they have.
lt's, uh, like Survivor
for college students, l think.
Or something like that.
Well, l'm looking forward
to getting away from all this.
Tahiti, here we come.
Where are you going?
l still hae to get some stuff
from the pharmacy for the trip.
What? Right now?
And you're gonna
leave me here like this?
Hey, we're gonna join
the mile-high club, right?
[whistle]
Very funny! l see you!
Honey, come on!
We gotta catch a plane!
[wolf whistle]
[laughs]
Where are you going?
[whistle]
Honey?
Honey.
[gasps]
Philip!
Don't be afraid.
l'm sorry. lt's just--
l thought you were my husband
trying to be funny.
You look like him from far away.
'Cause l'm wearing
a polo shirt and khakis?
[laughs]
You know what? l look different.
l did this whole reality, uh...
extreme makeover show, so...
Lover's Lane wasn't my last reality show.
Oh, well...
- it looks great.
- Thank you. Thank you.
You know, it's coming together.
[chuckles]
So, are you gonna invite
me in for a drink, huh?
- Yeah.
- Come on.
Oh. Shit.
[laughs]
Oh, my God. l remember this place
like it was yesterday.
Yeah.
Man!
That's really cool that they gave
you guys this place after the show.
Yeah, l know, it is.
l'm sorry l popped over
and surprised you like this.
Oh, no, it's fine.
l was just...packing anyway.
So, um, you did an
extreme makeover show?
- Yeah, l did.
- l did.
l didn't wanna hae to
stare at the face.
that got rejected by you
on national TV anymore.
Oh.
Yeah.
[exhales]
God damn.
You rejected me.
[sighs]
Okay, what's going on here, Phillip?
You're starting to scare me now.
Look...
those hidden cameras?
We're being taped.
We are?
Yeah.
Um...
so is that what this is all about?
Because if it is, you can just tell
the network that l'm not cool with it.
[playing piano]
Yeah.
Actually, after
they finish filming this next show,
we're gonna completely
renovate the place,
and, uh, we're gonna remove
all the cameras...and stuff.
l don't even watch
reality shows anymore.
This--this is great TV,
you know that?
Me and you haing this confrontation.
Relax.
They just need a sound-bite.
Uh...
The money shot.
So?
Tell me.
Did you loe me?
i did love you.
You're lying to me.
You know what? i did loe you.
l just--l didn't think
i could make you happy.
[snaps fingers]
This isn't a reality show.
Then what is it?
This is me and you.
You know what? Enough!
Okay, Philip,
you need to leave now.
Hey, you can't make me
leae this time.
i'm the producer.
- You're the producer?
- Yes.
My contestants are
arriving this afternoon.
Your contestants.
l sent out ads
in college newspapers.
You wouldn't beliee how many people
wanna be on reality shows these days.
it's insane.
By the way, you should thank me
because l'm the one who paid top dollar
for rent for this place.
i don't think that's gonna work, sweetie.
You looking for this?
You know what? This is not funny!
l want you to leave now!
Okay, okay, calm down.
Calm down.
i promise you. l promise you, okay?
l'm gonna leae.
i'm gonna leae.
l'm two seconds away
from calling the cops.
The phone doesn't even work.
What do you want?
i want you to feel my pain!
You bitch! it hurts!
Look...
i want you to see something.
[turns on TV]
All right, Catherine....
i wanna tell you...
that i love you,
and i will always treat you well.
Let me, uh, just stop you
right there, okay?
First of all, l just want you to know
that i do love you,
but l don't think that
l could make you happy,
and this is where
l have to say good-bye.
l don't understand.
l'm not like other men, Catherine.
Sorry.
Uhh!
Looking for these?
[manic laughter]
Aah!
[beeping]
[gasps]
The cops will be here any second.
Oh! Oh, l'm so scared!
[beeping]
Honey?
[gasps]
Oops!
[laughs]
That's gotta hurt.
[laughs]
[doorbell rings]
Go get the door.
[ring]
l'm Sheriff Tony Boyle.
This is Deputy John Grady.
Hi.
Nice to meet you, Mrs...
Oh, uh, Catherine Daniel Anderson.
Your alarm went off.
The alarm company called,
but couldn't reach you.
Right. Um, i did that, actually.
Eerything's fine.
i set it off by accident.
And l, um... l...turned it off.
Mrs. Anderson,
i need to ask you something.
What's your mother's
maiden name?
Walters.
That checks out.
Going for a trip?
Uh, actually, we're going
to Tahiti for three weeks.
- Well, have a safe trip.
- Thank you.
Bye.
You know who these people are,
don't you, Sheriff?
- No, who are they?
- Lover's Lane?
lt's a reality TV show,
kinda like Joe Millionaire,
only the girl reveals
she's a waitress, not a millionaire.
That's the girl!
She's a millionaire now, though.
You watch too much television.
Where's Daniel?
[exhales]
He's in the pool.
Daniel! Daniel!
- Listen to me!
- Get off of me!
lf you get voted off this show,
you get voted off for good!
l fucking love you!
l love you!
Please don't kill me!
Tell me the truth. Do you love me?
- l loe you!
- Tell me the truth!
l love you!
Please don't kill me!
You know what?
This is the final twist in our little show.
You are fired.
No!
[exhales]
Oh, shit, l gotta clean up.
Ooh.
Only love
ls constant
Only love
ls constant
lt's all in your mind
As it is
So shall it be
For me, it's what it's about, l is
l is
[cell phones ringing]
[Philip on P.A.]
All right. Welcome.
Congratulations for being
picked for this contest.
Don't forget to leave
your cell phone at the door.
Your luggage is being taken care of,
so please proceed
to the living room for further instructions.
Yum. Yummy yummy.
Oh, yeah!
This is amazing.
[Girl]
Whoo whoo!
Aah!
[all gasp]
[laughs]
Oh, my God!
You asshole!
- You gotta lighten up.
- You scared me, dude.
Cool place.
[Philip]
All right. Listen up.
Welcome.
Each of you have been chosen
from over 50,000
college student applicants.
Every day, there will be
a new challenge.
The winner of each competition
gains immunity from being voted out.
The remaining contestants
must vote out a player.
Besides that, there are no rules.
What l'm creating is
more interesting than real life.
So l need heroes, and l need villains.
So first, l wanna hear
each role you are gonna play.
Yeah, well, l'm the bad boy
that your mama warned you about.
[all laugh]
Um, l'm the hero.
l'm a Dixie darlin'.
Yes, you are.
Well, l'm the sexual
flexible poetic intellectual.
Ooh!
Clearly.
Just kidding.
l'm, uh, the goofy guy. Duh.
l guess, um, l'm the shy one.
l'm the shy one. You're the Asian.
l'm just a farm boy.
Yee-hah.
And l am the hot, spicy Latina baby.
Whoo!
Work it!
[Philip]
All right. Now, l need the verbal fights.
l need the physical fights.
l need the emotional
breakdowns, okay?
The more the merrier.
And by the way, at the buffet,
eat as much as you can,
because later,
we're gonna starve you.
All right. Good luck.
Wow.
Okay, l get the middle.
lt's not so bad.
Wow.
Okay, who wants to get drunk?
Wake up, you guys.
- Hey!
- That's more like it.
No more sleeping.
We're not sleeping, we're drinking.
- Who's drinking?
- Mm-mmm.
Wait. So, you guys,
what do you guys think
is, like, the whole twist here?
There's always a twist.
Whoa. Was that an echo?
Echo? Echo?
- Oh!
- Shut up!
Oh, come on!
There's absolutely no twist.
l mean, there's nothing
wrong with having
a little cocktail with your meal.
- Absolutely.
- There's no meal.
What if alcohol's a trick
to weed out the weak?
Oh, l mean, come on, anyone here--
ls anyone here an alcoholic?
Only at meetings.
Eery Monday at the church.
All right, you guys, l got a toast.
Here is to the players
and to the game.
Don't hate the players,
hate the game.
[all]
Cheers.
Whoo!
[Latin]
Who wants a body shot?
Yeah, l want a body shot.
Freestyle, baby!
[yelling]
Oh, nice ass!
You want ass?
[screams]
Keep going.
All right, guys, l've been thinking.
We should form a pact.
Oh, yes. l agree. Let's do it!
- Sweet!
- l'm in.
But don't think that we don't all
hae our eyes on you, Tricky Ricky.
Don't try to manipulate us now.
- What?
- Uh-huh!
We're smarter than you think, man.
Don't try to play us.
Wait. Where's the love, you guys?
- Not here.
- All right.
Fine. Cheers to the foursome.
You guys can watch me.
[all laugh]
There we go.
Winning team, babe.
Mikko, why are you sitting
all by yourself?
Oh, you know, l'm just thinking.
You know, first impressions
are everything when you wanna win.
Yeah, l know. l, um...
l just made a pact with Ruby.
Yeah?
You wanna join us?
Yeah, of course l do.
- Really?
- Yeah. Thank you.
Hell yeah.
[sighs]
Okay, Well...
l'm so relaxed.
Thank you.
l'm out.
Buenas noches, y'all.
See ya.
See you in a while.
Yeah. Um, l'm out.
l'm tired and relaxed and stuff.
You know what?
Forming the pact kinda
feels like l already won.
Well, l'm-- l'm all about winning.
What exactly do you think you're doing?
l was just coming back for seconds.
You know what?
All body shots aside,
l know exactly what you're doing.
You're just trying
to gain my trust to secure your ote.
l'm not trying to gain your trust.
l'm just trying
to get a nice friendly kiss.
But l understand. No, l understand.
l respect you, you know?
l came here hoping to meet a nice girl,
and you're a nice Southern girl.
- Wait, hold on.
- Hi.
[clears throat]
See, usually when
l give my world-class massages--
Mm-hmm?
l'm kinda used to finishing them up
with a happy ending, you know?
Happy ending.
[speaking Spanish]
Okay.
So...
in these happy endings,
does this mean you would
maybe...start right here?
You know...neck area
and then...
down here?
And then...
end up...
down there?
Yeah, yeah.
l love playing sports.
[whispering]
But l'm not into bats and balls.
[sighs]
[laughing]
That's strike on, Techno.
Ay yi yi.
- Utah.
- Yep.
What do you do in Utah?
lt's kinda out there, huh?
Yeah, it's kinda far.
But l work on a ranch.
You know, chickens,
pigs, horses, cattle, that type of thing.
lt's a heck of a lot of fun, though.
l think you'd like it.
[mocking]
l work on a ranch with chickens and pigs.
lt's a heck of a lot of fun.
[laughs]
Oh, that's so sad.
So, uh...
you got a girlfriend?
No. No. No.
l was thinking we could
help each other, you know?
Looks like they're forming an alliance.
You don't vote me off,
l won't vote you off.
What do you say?
Well, Mikko and l made a pact,
so you'd hae to join us.
Okay.
You gotta let me initiate you first, though.
Okay.
[laughs]
lnitiation, baby!
Can l sit?
Sure.
You looked really nice at the pool today.
Thanks.
So you go to UCSB, right?
Yeah.
- You like it?
- Yeah.
And what are you studying?
Design.
- Design.
- Yeah.
Um, l used to model, so...
l got more interested
in...l don't know,
behind the camera
and putting fashion shows together
and design clothes, stuff like that.
As you speak olumes
of distant passions,
success by means of fashion,
between lines of rhetoric,
l catch a glimpse of your soul.
lt speaks not of physical grace,
slim waist, backside,
a beautiful face.
But l saw a chemistry,
emissions of positive energy,
how our connectivity
creates such synergy,
which is why l predict,
forecast, foretell, in time
l'm sure l'll know you well.
Wow.
Spoken words, poetic things,
are one of the many,
many things l do very well.
lvy League rap poet.
l can't take all the credit, though.
[coughs]
l guess not.
What?
All right, Techno, this is just getting sad.
Do you think these pants look
too tight on my hiney?
These blue pants? Huh?
They're a little tight.
Do you think l need, like,
liposuction or something?
[softly]
Wow.
You have awesome hair.
[laughs]
Drop it down, Rapunzel.
Show us those golden locks.
[both laugh]
She is beautiful.
[laughs]
What was that?
You knocked my book out of my hand.
l'm sorry. Jesus Christ!
Watch it, Malibu Barbie.
Oh, sorry, Tex!
Hell no!
Shut up!
[all shouting[
[rock]
[all groan]
[Philip]
All right, guys.
All nine of you have a shot at winning
one million dollars.
You will get in the coffin
and close the lid on yourself.
And it will lock.
lnside, you must find the key
to open the lock from the inside.
The first one who gets out
gets a special surprise.
ls everybody ready?
- Yeah. Yeah.
- Ready.
- Let's do it.
- Yeah.
All right. Get in, close the lids.
[screaming, groaning]
[screaming]
Ew!
l can do this!
[mumbling]
Ow!
[mumbling]
[crying]
[groaning]
[gasps]
[yelling]
[pounding]
Hurry!
Oh, are you guys feeling
a little claustrophobic?
l'm so sorry.
[all pounding, yelling]
Okay! Let me out!
Let me out of here!
Just keep going. You got it, girl.
[screams]
Let me out of here!
[Philip]
And Ruby is the winner!
Ruby, would be so kind
and save your loser friends?
[panting]
[Jenny]
Open the door!
Hang on.
[screams]
You okay?
[Philip]
Ruby, how did you do it?
Just tried to keep my cool.
Well, guess what.
Ruby wins the special prize!
Yay!
- Good job, Ruby.
- All right, Ruby!
- Oh, sweet!
- No way!
This is amazing!
[both yelling]
[gasps]
Yes!
Mmm! l'm so hungry.
You have a Jacuzzi, woman!
l guess l am just
gonna hae to get in the Jacuzzi!
Whoo!
l coming to join you!
Now that...
that is awesome.
[Philip]
He's in the lead!
He's gonna do it!
- He's gonna do it!
- [rings bell]
Congratulations, Techno!
Yeah! Tonight, l get the crib!
[Philip]
Not quite yet, Techno.
l need you to do something.
What l want you to do
is push Jack in the pool.
- What?
- What?
All the keys are at the bottom.
- Uh-uh.
- He'll drown.
Well, not if he finds the right key.
That's like 9 feet deep, man!
That's crazy!
[Philip]
Push Jack into the pool.
Come on.
[Techno]
No, no.
This is a joke, right?
This has got to be a joke.
l guess Techno doesn't
want to be the winner.
Whoever pushes Techno into the pool
is the winner.
Hasta la vista! Yo!
[Philip]
Congratulations, Jack.
[all yelling, shouting]
[Jack]
l'm the winner!
Somebody's gotta do something!
Yo, where are the divers?
The keys!
Somebody's gotta do something!
We need divers! We need help!
Come on!
We need fucking help!
[all talking]
Jack!
Get him oer!
He's okay! He's okay!
[all talking]
l don't get this contest.
What do you mean?
Don't you find it
a little weird, any of this?
Yeah, but that's how
these things work, Rube.
They're just trying to scare us.
They're trying to freak us out.
This is bullshit.
l don't know if l want to keep going.
Come on, let's just stay in it for two days
and see how it goes.
lt's a million dollars, Ruby.
You know what?
l just need a minute to think, all right?
[sighs]
l'll come in in a little bit.
- You sure?
- Yeah.
Okay, fine.
[all talking]
[Philip] When was the last time
any of you saw Ruby?
Yeah, l left her by the pool.
Well, she said she wanted
to think for a minute.
l'll go get her.
This is crazy.
Ruby?
Rube?
Okay. So no sign of her,
but l found her necklace in the pool.
[Philip]
Gina?
Ruby quit.
What?
Gina, Ruby has been sent home.
And, uh, l have some
bad news for you, too.
lt looks like you're being sent home, too.
You're sending me home?
Looks like all your friends
decided to vote you off.
Why?
You were the last one to see Ruby.
lf she was trippin' out,
you should have been supportie.
Are you serious?
You're gonna blame me for that?
Okay, Gina,
did Ruby at any time indicate that she
was distressed or upset?
No, she just said she wanted
to sit by the pool for a minute.
Well, then did you ask her if she
needed or wanted some company?
No, l did not ask her
if she wanted or needed company.
Since when does not asking someone
if they want company wrong?
So you're saying that you didn't ask her.
So basically you abandoned her
in her time of need?
Jack, stop with this lawyer shit, okay?
You know what? Enough!
l'm sorry, okay?
Gina, we're all really sorry.
l can't believe you guys.
l mean, doesn't any one of you
find it really strange
that Ruby left her necklace in the pool?
Wouldn't she at least look for it
before she left?
[Philip]
We can't stop the show for Ruby's necklace.
We will make sure
she gets her necklace.
Fine.
Oh. You know what?
Voting me out...
is actually a really good strategic move.
Because everybody here knows
that l'm the frontrunner,
and that is a conspiracy.
lt's not a conspiracy.
He made us vote for someone,
and we oted for you.
[speaking Spanish]
[Philip]
Enough with this, Gina!
You're being sent home!
[Gina speaking Spanish]
You guys,
l will see you in the morning.
[man laughs]
This...
This is a joke, right?
[Gina chuckles]
What's funny?
Oh, no! No! Please!
Please!
Please! Please don't!
Please! Por favor!
[speaking Spanish]
Por favor.
Please.
No! No! No!
No! No!
[screaming]
What are you doing in here?
You're not supposed to be in this room.
This contest is so screwed up.
There are no rules.
So l'm gonna make up my own.
You mind if l join you?
Be my guest.
Don't even think about it.
[whispering, indistinct]
Ah.
[Philip]
All right, you guys.
Only seven of you remain
to compete for
the one million dollars!
[cheering]
As you all know,
one challenge is a continuing one,
the lack of food.
l'm sure you're all starving.
However, in this challenge,
each one of you is going to be faced
with a very primal fear.
Blood!
[all groan]
l like blood!
But if you succeed,
you will have a meal.
- Whoo-hoo!
- Yeah!
l'm famished!
Yum yum yum.
Yum yum.
[laughs]
[Philip]
Bobby, open the drape!
[all gasp]
- Man!
- Oh, man!
[laughs]
On camera?
And they're totally gonna air this.
Each of you have to cut out
and edible piece with your name.
And then you're having it for lunch.
Gross, dude.
Beware, though.
lf you cut the wrong piece,
it gets very bloody.
- You're kidding.
- Do it.
What are you getting?
A rib!
Oh, God!
- What is he getting?
- A rib.
Ugghhh!
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God!
That sucker's bleeding.
Whoo-hoo!
Yeah!
That is disgusting!
l got a big piece of meat.
- Blaah!
- Aahhh!
Oh! Shit!
Cut it out and do it!
- Good job!
- Come on!
Good job! Good girl! Come on!
[all talking]
Come on!
Carve it!
[all talking]
Aarrgghh!
lt'd be better if it was cooked, Jack.
Why? l heard you like raw meat.
No, l don't like raw meat.
Oh, Mr. Hee-Haw over there
likes his meat cooked.
l like it worked.
What is this shit?
lt's probably cow's stomach lining.
Hey, Colin, when you get angry,
do you beat your meat?
That was cheesy.
- Ha ha ha!
- Stupid!
[drops fork]
You okay?
[coughs]
Did she throw up?
Are you okay?
[coughs]
[Philip]
You win some, you lose some, Mikko.
Pack your bags.
Bye, Mary-Kate.
Ashley and l will miss you.
- Shut up!
- Fuck off!
[Philip]
Hello, Mikko!
Hi.
l just wanted to talk to you
before you leave.
Okay, fine.
Let's talk.
Well--[clears throat]-- First,
l wanna tell you that l'm watching you
right now as we speak.
l'm in the bathroom.
You can't be watching me.
Hey, l'm not lying.
Why don't you do something,
and l'll tell you what you did.
Oh!
Obscene gestures!
Come on, show me your tits.
You're watching us in the bathroom?
You sick son of a--
[laughs]
[screams]
[laughs]
Oh!
[screams]
Aahhh!
She peed.
Aaahhh!
[screaming]
[laughs]
[pounding on door]
All right, only six of you remain
to compete for the one million dollars!
[all cheering]
[Philip]
ln this challenge,
you will hunt each other
with paintball guns.
The contestant who has been shot
the fewest times,
of course, is the winner.
No one is allowed to hide
or avoid action.
You have ten seconds
before you start shooting.
Go!
1 0...
9...
8...
7...
6...
5...
4...
3...
2...1 .
[paintball guns firing, girls screaming]
What are you doing?
You're the drier.
l'm also a player.
Then where's your paint gun?
Right here.
[laughs]
You're dead.
Shit!
Are you crazy?
l guess l forgot to tell you about this part,
Techno.
[laughs]
l'm just testing you.
l like your style, Techno.
What's going on here?
Did l miss something?
- Yeah, you are missing something.
- What?
All right. Listen up.
Remember that part in Average Joe
where they brought out all these hunks?
l mean, that really pissed me off.
You know what l'm saying?
Yeah, l--l totally agree with you.
They did need something
for the third act, right?
l mean, to kind of spice it up.
Am l right, Techno? Come on.
Yeah, yeah. That makes sense.
You're so right!
You know, they bring out
these fucking goddamn hunks,
totally humiliate
the fuck out of these poor,
pathetic, fat, ugly pieces of shit!
That really pisses me off!
Yeah, yeah. lt really pissed me off, too!
Techno, come on now.
What's wrong with you?
You're too agreeable.
[laughs]
l think it's time for you to go.
Bye.
What do we have here, Grady?
Sheriff, we got a Jane Doe.
No injuries to speak of, but, uh...
take a look at her fingernails.
Looks like she was buried alive.
Tried to dig her way out.
We just found this girl buried alive.
You know anything at all
that might help us?
No. No, l'm sorry.
You seen anything strange
going on in the neighborhood?
Nope.
ls there anything else
l can help you guys with?
No, that should do it.
Oh.
Cool.
You enjoy your sandwich.
[Philip]
Thank you.
[gasps]
[laughs]
You are such an asshole.
[growls]
Mmm.
You know the cameras can see us.
l don't care.
[clears throat]
So...how do you really
feel about her, Bobby?
l'm so hungry, l could eat her saliva, Jack.
Ew.
Where's Techno gone, Jack?
They're probably
eating worms in the garden again.
Techno quit the paintball challenge.
Well, they probably sent him home.
Where else would he be?
l am so famished!
l could eat you, dude.
You know what? We should
go find some food.
All right.
Come on.
[door closes]
[keys turning]
Claude!
What did l tell you about
playing with my stuff?
l'm just watching. l made it.
[Philip]
Ah.
[laughs]
Poor little bitch.
[laughs]
Good work, Claude.
Thank you.
Fucking door's open. Go shut it.
[door closes]
- She was buried alive.
- Oaky. lt's fake.
All right? This is all make-believe.
lt's all a part of the little game.
l mean, you're on teleision.
Remember?
You signed up for it?
l'm gonna do some
nasty, nasty, nasty things to her.
No!
No, you said l could hae her!
You said l could have Jenny!
No!
Claude, l'm too tired.
- No!
- Claude.
No!
No! No! No! No! No!
Claude--
No!
No, Philip, no!
You said l could have Jenny!
Jenny's mine!
- You promised!
- Uugghh!
You said if l did it, l could have Jenny!
That's all l want is Jenny!
[mocking]
l want Jenny! l want Jenny!
Then why don't you keep your promise?
All right, l promise!
[sobbing]
All right, Philip?
All right.
l swear.
You can have Jenny.
l love you, Philip.
You're my brother. l loe you.
l love you, too.
l don't care. l'm leaing.
Okay, fine!
But l'm staying right here!
And l am winning!
lt's a game, man! lt's not real!
We're locked in.
l'm getting out of here.
Whoa, relax. lt's locked!
What do you mean it's locked?
There's a iron gate
on the door! lt's locked!
Wait!
You signed up for this game!
- [all yelling]
- l don't care!
- Aah!
- My God!
[all talking]
Get him in.
Get him down. Get him down.
Are you okay?
- [buzzer]
- What's that?
l don't know.
Breathe.
Jenny!
[buzzer]
[screams]
There is a dead woman in there!
[crying]
What? You wanna play?
Let's play!
- No!
- Come on!
l'm sick of this!
What is your problem?
What do you want?
l swear, if l find you,
l'll crack your skull!
Um, Mr. Producer, sir?
You know, l--l was just wondering,
like, you know,
what's your angle here?
Because if there really is a dead body
somewhere over there,
then, you know, l don't think
that you can air that on teleision...
can you?
Don't be so, like, naive, Jack.
This is gonna be the biggest
reality show of all time.
Especially with the new twist.
Please, no more twists, please.
- Jack, no!
- Shut up, Colin!
That's it! This is oer for you!
You're done watching us!
Bobby! lf you break that camera,
the show will be oer!
This show is over.
Like l said, Bobby!
l would not do that if l were you!
Why don't you do me a faor
and look out the window?
[laughs]
Look out the window!
What is it?
[laughs]
[screams]
[all screaming]
Guess what.
lt's time for the next challenge!
Yay!
[alarm beeping]
[all yelling]
[grunting]
No! No!
[alarm stops]
Oh, my God.
Guys--guys, don't you see?
He's playing a game with us.
[Jack]
Colin, you are officially retarded!
Shut the fuck up, Jack!
Enough! Enough!
What if we don't play?
[coughs]
Did l do good, big brother?
You did really good, Claude.
You know what we need now?
We need a finale.
Kinda like that big
sex romp in Big Brother?
Remember?
[laughs]
To make Jenny reveal something.
Yeah...to make Jenny reeal everything.
[laughs]
You wanna draw or something?
Yeah. l wanna draw Jenny.
[Philip]
All right! Listen up!
lt's time for our next challenge.
And whoever doesn't play
gets sent home...
and we all know what that means.
Now only five of you remain.
All right, our next challenge
is a steel-caged match to the death.
Jack, Colin, get in that cage!
lt's still a game, isn't it?
Let's rock and roll.
l'll play.
[mocking]
"l'll play."
You bet you'll play.
[Philip]
Bobby, lock them in the cage.
[Philip]
Grab your sword.
lt's a duel to the death!
Let's rock and roll!
Jenny, if you don't watch,
you will be sent home.
Jenny! Watch!
She's fine!
We're watching, okay?
Hey, guys, careful.
Fear swing.
No! Colin!
[Philip]
Do it!
Do it!
Kill him!
No! Please!
Please.
l can't!
l can't.
l can't do it.
l can!
[girls screaming]
[sighs]
Good afternoon, Philip.
[Southern voice]
Good afternoon, Sheriff.
We just came back
to ask you if you mind
if we take a look around.
Actually, that'll be a problem with me
because, you know,
l'm shooting this reality show,
and all my guests, you know,
they hae to be sequestered.
So if you come in, you'll ruin my show.
Of course.
We understand.
Okay.
But we're still coming back
with a search warrant.
l'm sorry l couldn't help you more.
[Philip laughs]
[laughs]
Aarrggh!
[patrol car starts]
[Philip]
Good morning!
Good morning!
lt's a brand new day
So good morning
Good morning to you!
Okay. Well, now only four of you remain.
So, our next challenge
is a stamina challenge.
Jenny, stay awake.
[Philip]
All right.
Two hours and counting.
We got a battle of the sexes.
[crying]
lt's okay.
[Philip]
Jenny! How are we doing, Jenny?
[laughs]
Ashley! Ashley, hold on!
[Philip]
Whoooohhh!
Look, Ashley's got that look now.
Hey, Bobby,
did you know that Ashley humped Jack?
No, l didn't!
Don't listen to him Ashley.
He just wants you to fall.
[Philip]
Hey, now, l got the video to prove it!
l'm gay.
[Philip]
Wow. l'm impressed.
Eight hours and counting.
Well, all right.
l guess we'll have to
Step this one up a notch.
Claude, do your business.
[crying]
Fat fuck! l hate you!
Oh! No!
[Philip]
We have a winner!
No! That's not fair!
You didn't play by the rules!
[Philip]
Oh! Life's not fair, Jack!
Go home.
Oh, yes! l have another twist.
lf you let Jack in the house,
we have to start this
challenge all over again.
So you probably shouldn't do that.
Let me go!
[all yelling]
That's for Colin!
[door closes]
Please.
Please! Let me in!
Please! You're killing me!
Let me in!
They'll kill me!
My death is on your hands!
- [rifle cocks]
- l don't wanna die!
[crying]
Please! What did l do to you?
Please don't kill me!
Shit!
Hey! Hey! Help me!
Help me! Help me!
Just one of us should go.
l'll go.
You sure?
Yeah, l'll go.
Uhh!
[crying]
[alarm beeping]
[screams]
No.
Oh, my God.
lt's okay. lt's okay.
[crying]
l don't understand.
l'm not like other men, Catherine.
You can't send me home.
[Catherine]
l'm sorry.
l'm sorry.
[crying]
She made...
a really big mistake.
[laughs]
And she's gonna regret this.
Listen,
l'm gonna get you out of here, okay?
l just don't wanna do this anymore.
lt's okay.
This isn't a game.
l'm gonna get you
out of here, l promise.
[Philip]
Good morning.
Now, have we learned
our lesson yet, hmm?
Yeah.
Good.
Well, it's time for the finale.
[sighs]
You know what?
He gotta be someone near.
What's this?
Listen,
stay here, okay?
- What if he sees me?
- No, no, no.
Speed.
Here he comes.
Here he comes.
Here he comes.
Now.
l told you.
l told you l would find you!
Look, Bobby,
you're making a huge mistake. Please.
Please. God, please
don't shoot me. Please.
Why? Why?
You're making a huge mistake!
Stop! Now!
This show is oer!
[click]
Ah!
[laughs]
Sucker.
[taser]
Aah!
l take it you met my brother!
[taser]
Ugghh!
[Philip]
All right. Are you excited?
l'm excited!
lt's time for the finale!
Poor little rich boy.
What, nobody ever loved you?
Yep, you're right.
Nobody ever loved us.
Jenny, you're a genius.
All right. All you have to do
is walk across the beam.
And don't fall.
Okay! All right!
Ready?
Set?
Go!
Now!
Come on, Jenny.
Come on. You can do it.
Come on.
One step at a time.
There you go.
l'm here.
You can do this, okay?
Okay?
- No.
- Yes.
Yes, you can.
[laughs]
God bless your soul, Bobby!
Congratulations, Jenny!
You...are...the...winner!
Yeah!
Jenny won!
[chuckles]
[cocks rifle]
You're supposed to let me go, Claude.
l won.
l can't let you go till the finale party.
And what's the finale party?
lt's like the sex romp in Big Brother
where you reveal something.
Oh, yeah.
[whispering]
Like what?
Oh, it feels so good.
You'll like it better if you let me go.
[sighs]
Do you like me?
l do. l do.
l do like you, Claude.
l think Philip is jealous.
l think so, too.
Come on.
Come with me.
lt's okay.
Don't you want me
to be happy, Claude?
Yes.
Then let me go.
Don't you want your million dollars?
You can mail it to me.
l can come with you.
Yeah.
Fuck you!
Bitch!
Help!
Hi.
[screams]
Oh, my God!
Hi, Philip.
Did you get my Milky Way bars?
Yes, Claude, l got your
fucking Milky Way bars.
But you know what?
l asked you to do one goddamn thing!
And that's watch Jenny!
l was watching Jenny, okay?
But then she said she loed me!
Oh, man, that's what they all fucking say!
[screaming]
[Jenny screaming]
No! No! No! No!
Let me go!
Freeze!
Aah!
Cheer up. lt's a beautiful day.
Please.
[muffled screaming]
[sighs]
[laughs]
l guess l missed.
Okay. lt's time to go.
[muffled screaming]
l guess the last bullet
goes to the winner.
And that's you, Jenny!
- No.
- Move out of the way, Claude.
Move out of the way, Claude.
- l said fucking moe out of the way!
- l said no!
- Move out of the way!
- We hae the winner!
Move out of the way!
What the fuck is wrong with you?
You said l could have Jenny!
l gotta leave you, Claude. l gotta go.
Philip, don't leave me!
Philip, don't leave me!
Please, don't leave me, Philip!
- Listen to me. You're insane.
- l'm sorry!
l'm not.
l'm gonna go to
the gas chamber, not you.
You're gonna be okay.
But l gotta go. l love you.
l'm insane, but l love you!
[weeping]
Okay. Okay.
Okay.
l love you, Claude.
[sirens]
Come on!
[yelling]
l'm insane!
You don't loe me, Jenny!
Don't moe!
No, l'm insane!
[yelling incoherently]
No! Jenny!
[weeping]
l'm the Sheriff. You're gonna be fine.
[crying]
Okay, go.
- l'm ready when you are.
- Right.
All right.
Do what you gotta do, babe.
All right.
Go team.
- Okay, ready?
- Okay.
3...2...
lt's been one year since
the reality show tragedy
happened right here behind these gates.
But the question that still remains
is how could this happen?
Wait, wait. We're gonna--
lt's jammed. l'm sorry. Hold on.
But there's more.
After this little fix-it,
we're gonna interview the murderer,
and he's gonna give us
a walk-through
on where he's placed
everybody's limbs.
Maybe we'll hae a sance after that--
Okay, thank you, Carol.
Good. Good stuff.
You're next on 20/20.
Okay, here we go. Ready?
3...2...
lt's been one year since
the reality show tragedy
happened right here
behind these gates.
- [cell phone rings]
- Shit! l'm sorry.
- [cell phone rings]
- Oh, God.
Sorry.
Oh, my God.
Holy moley. Let's get out of here.
We gotta get the hell out of here.
Come on, let's go.
Oh, my God.
Come on!
[people chatting]
[cell phone rings]
How we doing, Jenny?
[rock]
Oh
Yeah, yeah
You wanna sell me the love you bring
But what's that look in your eye?
Are you suspending reality?
Or is it all in my mind?
Good-bye
Drift away from the sky
Angel
Watching the world go by
[spoken]
Since you've passed,
one of infinite beauty.
And how l wanted her.
Butterfly
Watching the deep blue eyes
Angel
She opens up my mind
Please understand what l feel for you
l'll lift the stars in the sky
l will surrender my soul to you
But will you stay by my side?
My butterfly
Butterfly
Drifting above the sky
Angel
Watching the world go by
Sunshine
She opens up my mind
Beauty
The one with the purple light
Butterfly
Drifting above the sky
Angel
Watching the world go by
Sunshine...
Subtitled By J.R. Media Services, lnc.
Burbank, CA