Darling Lili (1970) Movie Script
1
(Chorus)
Darling Lili
Put a light in the window
And keep wearing
That bonnie smile
On those cold railway benches
Or in the trenches
Warm up our hearts
Awhile
Darling Lili
Blow a kiss to us, dearie
As we travel
Each weary mile
Not for mother
Or each other
Are we off to
End this war
You're the darling
We'll be winning
It for
Smile away
Each rainy day
And laugh away
Your blues
Let love light the sky up
Tell those clouds to dry up
And smile away each rainy day
I'll give you three guesses
Who loves you
Who loves you
Right from the start
Not your mother
Who likes to baby you so
And not the girl next door
You used to know
Often I think
This sad old world
Is whistling
In the dark
Just like a child
Who, late from school
Walks bravely home
Through the park
To keep their spirits soaring
And keep the night at bay
Neither quite knowing
Which way they are going
They sing the shadows away
Often I think
My poor old heart
Has given up
For good
And then I see
A brand new face
I glimpse
Some new neighborhood
So walk me back home
My darling
Tell me dreams really come true
Whistling
Whistling
Here
In the dark with you
So walk me back home
My darling
Tell me dreams really come true
Whistling
Whistling
Here in the dark
With you
[audience cheering]
[Air raid siren wailing]
[Speaking German]
[Cannons firing]
[Screaming]
[All screaming]
Play Pack Up Your Troubles.
Don't go.
Don't worry.
Pack up your troubles
in your old kit bag
And smile, smile, smile
While you've a Lucifer
Smile, boys, that's the style
(All)
What's the use of worrying?
Get back to your seats.
It never was worthwhile
So pack up your troubles
in your old kit bag
And smile
Come on.
(All)
Smile, smile
Again!
(All) Pack up your troubles
in your old kit bag
And smile, smile, smile
While you've a Lucifer
Smile, boys, that's the style
What's the use of worrying?
It never was worthwhile
So
Pack up your troubles
in your old kit bag
And smile, smile, smile
Keep the home fires burning.
(All)
Keep the home fires burning
While your hearts are yearning
Though your lads are far away
They dream of home
There's a silver lining
Through the dark cloud shining
Turn the dark cloud inside out
Till the boys
Tipperary.
(All)
Come home
It's a long way to Tipperary
It's a long way to go
It's a long way to Tipperary
To the sweetest girl I know
Goodbye, Piccadilly
Farewell, Leicester Square
It's a long, long way to Tipperary
But my heart's right there
Bravo!
[All cheering]
Yeah!
[Water rushing]
[Water rushing]
[All speaking German]
[Water splashing]
[Horn honking]
Good evening, Miss Lili.
Hello, Emma.
The Colonel's in the study.
Thank you.
Oh, Emma, I'd love some tea.
Yes, miss.
Kurt.
How nice.
[Chuckling]
- How are you, my dear?
- Fine.
That's most important, Lili.
We must know
exactly how the Allies are planning
to utilize the military aircraft.
The war is changing.
It is, uh, moving into the air,
and, Lili,
we cannot afford to minimize
this new potential.
As each new squadron is formed,
the air war expands,
the ground war is altered,
forced to, uh, shift
and to, uh, to, how would you say,
to, uh,
accommodate on a day-to-day basis.
It's hard to believe.
What, that those ridiculous little
aircraft could make such a difference?
Mmm-hmm.
Yesterday Baron Von Richthofen
led six of those
ridiculous little aircraft...
Thank you... in an attack
on the ammunition depot in Toulon.
The explosion
shattered windows in Paris.
It also stopped a well-planned
enemy attack in the Argonne sector.
Incidentally, I understand,
you're to be decorated
by the French government.
Yes.
When?
Well, no date's been set,
but soon, I expect.
The sooner the better.
[Doorbell ringing]
(Sergeant)
Good evening, Mr. Bedford.
Good evening, Sergeant.
Sorry to disturb you at this late hour,
but we've reason to believe
there's a German spy in the vicinity.
Blimey.
You haven't seen or heard
anything suspicious, have you?
Not a thing,
but I'll certainly let you know if I do.
(Sergeant)
Uh, is Miss Lili down for the weekend?
Yes, her uncle's staying with us.
I believe, you met Mr. Von Ruger
when he was here last summer.
Oh, yes,
the distinguished Swedish gentleman.
Swiss.
(Sergeant)
Yes, that's right, Swiss.
Well, give Miss Lili
my regards, and her uncle,
and keep your eyes open, Mr. Bedford.
(Bedford) - I certainly will.
- Good night, Sergeant.
Good night.
Trouble?
Nothing we can't handle.
We just have to be careful.
Your assignment is the famous
Major William Larrabee.
Of the five men having access to
the day-to-day planning of the air war,
he would seem to be the best prospect.
He's young, attractive, unmarried.
That's a change.
I'm getting weary
of diplomats and old generals.
The Major is considered
to be quite the ladies' man.
If you're gonna spend
any length of time in France,
you should arrange some concerts,
maybe visit some of the hospitals.
Yes.
Success.
Major Larrabee.
[Machine guns firing]
[Engines roaring]
[Engine failing]
[Engines roaring]
[Engine humming]
Look out!
[All shouting]
(Man)
What's he doing?
[Plane crashing]
Good morning, Colonel.
General.
You know Kraus?
Yes.
I understand you've assigned
Project Sparrow
to Lili Smith.
Lili Schmidt.
But that, my dear Colonel,
is precisely the distinction
that separates our points of view.
You say Schmidt, I say Smith.
Her father was German.
Her mother is English.
Lili Smith is an English subject.
She left Germany when she was 10.
Forgive me, General, but I am not going
to debate this issue with you again.
Her record speaks for itself.
My dear Colonel, I'm almost as
impressed with her record as you are.
Impressed, hmm?
Not convinced.
That is unfortunate, General
because until I am
relieved of my command,
or you obtain the necessary
authority to countermand my orders,
I will continue
to assign to Lili Schmidt
whatever project
seems to me appropriate.
You forget yourself, Colonel.
I am still your superior officer,
and I will stop you
if I have to go to the Kaiser to do it.
I'll be happy to make
an appointment for you.
I'm having lunch with him
this afternoon.
Von Ruger, that woman
is a security risk.
She's an emotional female
who, in my opinion,
involved herself
for all the wrong reasons
and because of
your personal relationship,
you refuse to admit
the potential danger!
Concerning my personal relationship
with the lady, General,
it is, first, none of your business,
and second,
it in no way influences
her capabilities as an agent.
Regardless of what you may think,
she is the perfect spy
and the ideal person
to succeed with Project Sparrow.
And now, if you'll forgive me,
I'll be late for lunch.
Kraus.
They tell a story
back in London town
That when you hear taps sound
Then all you soldiers
have a sweetheart
Who always comes
Around
When night is falling
She comes calling
The girl in no man's land
She comes to cheer them
And be near them
The dream they understand
Doughboys
Weary, cold, and lonely
Know her
As their one and only
The angel who
At close of day
Comes 'round to kiss
Their cares
Away
When this is over
You'll discover
The love
You've always planned
Until that time
Pretend that I'm
The girl
In no man's
Land
Bonjour.
Bonjour.
Bonjour.
[Speaks French]
[Speaks French]
[Speaks French]
[Speaks French]
[Speaks French]
[Speaks French]
[Speaks French]
Doughboys
Weary, cold, and lonely
Know her
As their one and only
The angel who
At close of day
Comes 'round to kiss
Their cares
Away
When this is over
You'll discover
The love
You've always planned
Until that time
Pretend that I'm
The girl
In no man's
Land
[audience cheering]
Very good.
Very good, my dear.
Damn good show, old girl.
Damn good show.
[Audience laughing]
Oh!
[Laughing]
Just seat me there.
Alors, jouons rainy day, d'accord?
Smile away
Each rainy day
And laugh away your blues
Be like old Mr. Noah
When it starts to pour
Make fun of trouble
Although you're seein' double
Keep in mind
They're silver-lined
Those gloomy clouds of gray
Let love light the sky up
Tell the clouds to dry up
And smile away each rainy day
[Horn honking]
Here he comes.
[Sighing]
I have to dine
with two generals this evening.
The unofficial headquarters
of Major Larrabee's squadron
is the Cafe Cancan.
[Music playing]
[People cheering]
[Cheering continues]
[Man whistling]
Excuse me, ma'am, General, General.
'Cause I'm a little drunk,
but there's something I just gotta say.
Oh?
Ma'am, you are an inspiration.
Thank you.
I heard you sing in London,
and you sang
It's a long way to Tipperary
And, ma'am, it was inspirational!
[Both speaking French]
What was that, ma'am?
I just told the General you heard
me sing it's a long way to Tipperary.
Oh, yeah, you should've
heard her, General.
And you, too, General.
It was purely, purely inspirational.
- Thank you.
- Thank you, ma'am.
[Speaking French]
What was that?
He says you're
one of the famous Eagle Squadron.
Oh, yes, ma'am.
Lieutenant George "Youngblood" Carson.
How do you do?
My grandmother
was a full-blooded Cherokee Indian.
How exciting.
It was for my granddaddy.
Listen, if it wouldn't be
putting you to too much trouble,
I've got some buddies
over there just dying to meet you.
Hey, fellows!
(All)
Yeah, come on!
- What's happening?
- Come here.
Don't get up, General,
it's just my squadron.
Meet Miss Lili Smith.
(All)
How do you do, miss? I'm...
Can I have your autograph?
I've got to have it.
Come on, long way to Tipperary.
You know it. Let"s hear it.
[Music playing]
Yeah! That's it! That is it!
Hey everyone! Come on!
(All)
It's a long way to Tipperary
To the sweetest girl I know
Goodbye, Piccadilly
Farewell Leicester Square
It's a long long way to Tipperary
But my heart's right there
It's a long way to Tipperary
Thank you.
It's a long way to go
It's a long way to Tipperary
Sing it.
To the sweetest girl I know
Goodbye Piccadilly
Farewell Leicester Square
There it is.
It's a long long way to Tipperary
But my heart's right there
Parlez-vous
(all)
Mademoiselle from Armentieres
Parlez-vous
Mademoiselle from Armentieres
She hasn't been kissed for 40 years
Hinky-dinky, parlez-vous
(all)
Mademoiselle from Armentieres
Parlez-vous
Mademoiselle from Armentieres,
parlez-vous
She got the Palm
and the Croix de Guerre
For washin' soldiers' underwear
Hinky-dinky, parlez-vous
One night I had
beaucoup jack, parlez-vous
One night I had beaucoup jack...
Gentlemen, gentlemen, you are dears,
and I would love
to kiss you all good night...
[All cheering]
But, but, but, but,
but I'm only a tourist,
not a permanent resident.
[All sighing]
Hey, wait a minute, wait a minute,
wait a minute, she's got a point.
(All)
What point?
Oh, you're beautiful,
but you're just too much.
So, in the interest of saving time,
and as the senior Cherokee Indian...
[All whooping]
I will say good night for us all.
[All laughing]
Miss Lili.
Lieutenant?
Plant it right here.
[All laughing]
[All cheering]
Whoa.
[Chuckling]
Inspirational.
Purely inspirational.
- Good night. (All)
- Good night.
[All shouting]
Mademoiselle from Armentieres,
parlez-vous
Mademoiselle from Armentieres
She hasn't been kissed for 40 years
Hinky-dinky, parlez-vous
The general got the Croix de Guerre
Parlez vous
The general got the Croix de Guerre
Parlez vous
[ringing]
Allo?
(Lili)
Hello, Uncle.
Hello, my dear.
How was the evening?
You should know.
You were there.
You don't miss anything.
One of Major Larrabee's men said he
was on some kind of important mission.
Oh, that's too bad.
I've no doubt you'll meet
the Major another time.
I hope so.
In the meantime,
should we get together?
How about, uh,
a late breakfast, say around noon?
I look forward to seeing you.
Bye, darling.
Bye, uncle.
- Any instruction?
- No.
[Violin playing]
Thank you.
I'm Bill Larrabee.
How do you do?
I have champagne, caviar,
marinated truffles,
brilliant foie Gras, and half a dozen
assorted Hungarian Gypsies.
Sounds delicious.
I thought we'd go on a picnic.
At 3:00 in the morning?
It's the best time. No ants.
[Violin playing]
[Birds chirping]
[Plane engines roaring]
That's my squadron.
Dawn patrol.
- Is it?
- Mmm-hmm.
When do you have to report back?
Friday.
When do you have to go back to England?
Soon.
Not too soon, I hope.
Well, it depends.
On what?
I'm beginning to think, Major,
it might just possibly depend on you.
What's he like?
Attractive, charming, conceited.
When do you see him again?
Tonight.
He's on leave until Friday.
You better get some sleep.
I think you're right.
No, relax. Stay and finish
your breakfast.
I'll contact you the minute
I have something important.
- Pleasant dreams.
- Thank you, darling.
A picnic at 3:00 in the morning.
Best time. No ants.
[Singing in French]
(Chorus)
So walk me back home my darling
Tell me dreams really come true
It's 11:00, Miss Lili.
(Chorus)
Often I think
My poor old heart
Has given up
For good
And then I see
A brand new face
I glimpse
Some new neighborhood
So walk me back home
My darling
Tell me dreams really come true
Good night.
Good night.
Good night?
I fly at dawn.
Oh.
Good night, darling.
"I fly at dawn"?
- Quote, unquote.
- Amazing.
Yes, makes a girl feel a bit insecure.
You? Insecure?
Well, not really, but,
you must admit, it is a bit unnatural.
Well, yes,
considering the provocation,
but that's really beside the point.
It is?
The information
you've extracted from Major Larrabee
has greatly exceeded our expectations,
and, uh, should the need
for more persuasive measures arise,
I'm sure that you'll be up to it.
Yes, but will Major Larrabee?
The gentlemen
are from French army intelligence.
Are they?
Mademoiselle Smith,
what a pleasure to meet you.
Good morning.
- Please forgive us this intrusion.
- No intrusion at all.
This is my colleague,
Lieutenant Liggett.
Very...
And I am Captain Duvalle.
- We are with army intelligence.
- Oui.
Won't you sit down?
Now, how can I help you?
You are a friend
of Major William F. Larrabee.
Yes.
We have reason to believe
that Major Larrabee is passing
military secrets to the enemy.
You can't be serious.
There is no question
that vital data is leaking out
concerning Allied air operations.
A reminder, very few men having
access to this information
the foremost is Major Larrabee.
We strongly suspect that he is
passing the information
to a German secret agent.
But this is preposterous,
even to suggest
that Major Larrabee's a traitor.
I hope I'm wrong
and that is why we are here.
We need your cooperation.
What sort of cooperation?
Watch, listen,
report anything suspicious.
You're asking me to be an informer.
I'm asking you to help establish
Major Larrabee's guilt or innocence.
Mademoiselle Smith,
we must discover
who this German agent is
and apprehend her.
It is a matter of national s-s-securite.
It is a matter of self-respect.
When you have some proof
of your allegations,
then I might, perhaps, reconsider.
"Her"?
[Stuttering]
Pardon?
You said "apprehend her."
Well, I...
It's our opinion that Major Larrabee
is giving information to a woman.
Of course, it's only an opinion.
Well, it seems reasonable to assume
that a man like the Major...
(Boings)
I mean, with his record...
Military record.
If, uh, if... if he is passing
information to the enemy,
he is doing so unwillingly.
I mean, unknowingly.
He's being, uh,
coerced.
He's being seduced.
[Gasping]
Yes.
Well, as I've said before,
when you have some proof,
then I might consider helping you,
but until such time,
I'm afraid it's out of the question.
Now, if you'll excuse me.
Naturally, of course,
we can count
on your discretion in this matter.
- Naturally.
- Good day.
- Good day.
- Good day.
(Lili)
You heard?
Yes.
If I continue with Major Larrabee,
it could be just a matter of time
before they discover
that I'm the one they want.
On the other hand,
if I stop seeing the major,
and the flow of information
stops at the same time,
they'll know immediately.
Interesting situation.
[Audience applauding]
[Music playing]
If you're good at riddle solving
If you make the claim
That no puzzle ever puzzles you
Here is one that needs evolving
Here's a guessing game
That should be a snap for you to do
[Audience applauding]
I'll give you three guesses
Who loves you
Who's loved you right from the start
Not your mother
Who likes to baby you so
And not the girl back home
You used to know
Oh, no
There's somebody special
Who needs you
Together
Or apart
Bet you don't need three guesses
And not even two
To know that
I'm the one sweetheart
[foot tapping]
(Men)
There's somebody special
Who needs you
Together or apart
Bet you don't need three guesses
And not even two
(all)
To know that
I'm the one
Sweetheart
[audience applauding]
[Band playing]
Miss Smith!
Miss Smith, your curtain call.
[Sighing]
Would it be indiscreet
to say that I missed you?
No.
To say that
I missed you terribly?
- Not quite.
- Desperately?
Possibly.
- Passionately?
- Definitely.
Would you settle for desperately?
- I'll settle for passionately.
- Oh.
What about my reputation?
I'll risk it.
[Sighing]
You look tired, darling.
- I am, a little bit.
- Was it that bad?
No, not that bad, but bad.
The Baron plays pretty rough.
The Baron?
Von Richthofen.
Ah.
He fights very well, that gentleman.
When do you have to be back?
Sunday.
Not till Sunday night.
- Ah, then you can get plenty of rest.
- Mmm-hmm.
I thought, if you have nothing to do,
that we could ride out
to the country tomorrow.
I know a lovely spot.
Quiet, romantic,
guaranteed to restore the body
and renovate the soul.
(Lili)
Hmm.
Or is it the other way around?
Either way, it sounds marvelous.
Marvelous it is.
And tonight we eat, we drink,
we forget the Baron.
It really was bad, wasn't it?
It was hell.
[Piano playing]
[People chattering]
Army intelligence.
We would like a table for two
and as near as p-p-possible,
if you please,
to Major Larrabee's table.
I don't understand.
I am aware that we have
no reservations,
but this is official
government business.
Allez, allez.
I'm sorry, but I am not the head waiter.
Go find the head waiter.
Oui.
My apologies, monsieur.
Ah.
Thank you.
Are they really that good?
- Oh, yes, they're delicious.
- Will you try one?
- No.
- Come on, try one, huh?
Mmm-mmm, some other time.
Oh, oh, my foot!
Your drink, my foot.
Now, go on, there we are.
Sit down, old sport.
There you are,
you can sit down there.
Good girl.
And I'll sit down...
- Uh, excuse me, could we borrow this chair?
- Yes, of course.
I have to put my leg up. You see,
I've got a plaster and...
Oh, good God.
Hey, I thought you were in hospital.
My goodness me.
They let you out, too, did they?
Well, how are you?
Any better?
I'm fine, thank you.
Yes, well, so am I.
I mean, with this thing here
and I'm over there with, uh...
Oh, I don't know what her name is.
Anyway, who are you with?
Uh, Major Larrabee.
Major Larrabee?
I know him very well.
We fly together everywhere.
- Really?
- Yes, we do.
Hey, eh.
Hello, old cock.
Hello.
- We've just been talking about you.
- Were you?
Yes. Well, um,
nice to see you up and about again,
even though you are sitting down.
Anyway, bye-bye, now.
Umm. Very nice, dear.
Well, off we go.
And I'll see you, uh, oh...
Incidentally, old cock,
how did you fare this weekend
with Operation Crepe Suzette?
Incidentally, old cock,
that mission was top-secret.
Oh. Yes, yes. What?
Umm, just a minute.
Get that thing down, you fool.
[People shouting]
Get back with that.
[Glass shattering]
Get these men off me!
- It happens.
- He's drunk.
- Always is.
- Even when he flies?
- Always is.
- I don't believe you.
- Really?
- Yeah.
But then why does he drink?
Because he's afraid to fly.
Then why does he fly?
Because he likes to drink.
Well, sooner or later he's bound
to get himself killed.
Sooner or later, he probably will.
Meanwhile, he has seven planes
to his credit.
- What? You're not serious.
- Ha-ha, I certainly am.
You mean he shot down
seven German planes?
No, he shot down seven French planes.
What?
Well, actually, he only shot down one.
The rest he just wrecked.
And when you consider
he's only been at the front
for about six months,
it's an incredible record.
[Chuckling]
(Lili)
And you're an incredible liar.
My word of honor.
As of last Friday,
Lieutenant Twombly-Crouch was tied
with Von Richthofen
for the championship.
I still don't believe you.
Neither does anybody else.
That's what keeps old T.C. flying,
or crashing, as the case may be.
Nobody believes it,
including his squadron commander.
- And who's that?
- Me.
Oh.
What was all that talk about top-secret
missions and Crepe Suzette?
- Just talk.
- Mmm-hmm?
You know, I think
you're some kind of a spy.
If I told you I was?
I know lots of military secrets.
Good.
Back in a minute to pry them out of you.
Crepe Suzette.
What?
That's exactly what he said.
Operation Crepe Suzette.
What else?
That it's top-secret.
So far, that's all.
But he's planned a weekend
in the country
and I'll contact you
as soon as I have the information.
[Hanging up]
Bill?
Major Larrabee?
[Choir singing in French]
Look.
Bonjour.
(Lili singing in French with choir)
[Thunder rumbling]
[Clinking]
To us.
[Thunder rumbling]
- Bill.
- Hmm?
Do me a favor.
Sure.
No lines, no campaign.
In the first place, it isn't necessary
and in the second place,
I... I want whatever happens
this weekend to be honest.
Well, since I have
nothing to gain by lying to you,
I think you're the most provocative,
exciting,
and most desirable woman
I've ever met.
I'll buy that.
[Thunder rumbling]
[Speaking French]
[Rain pattering]
[Thunder rumbling]
[Liggett screaming]
[Speaking in French]
[Knock on door]
[Coughs]
[Thunder crashing]
[Knock on door]
Excuse me.
Bon soir, monsieur.
- Bon soir.
- Champagne, monsieur.
I have champagne.
Here.
Compliments of the management.
[Thunder rumbling]
Will you be ordering dinner?
No.
Bon soir, Monsieur.
Bon soir, Madame.
I'm sorry, darling.
Bill.
- Hmm?
Would you excuse me just one minute?
Be right back.
Shan't be long.
Are you out of your mind?
He lied to you.
What?
He didn't fly last weekend.
There was no encounter
with Von Richthofen.
Larrabee's squadron
was in the air, but Larrabee was not.
Moreover, we've checked every channel
and nothing at all has filtered down
about any Operation Crepe Suzette.
So, either it is
even more important than we imagined
or it simply doesn't exist.
And if it doesn't?
Then he's onto you.
It's possible, I suppose,
but my every instinct says no.
Then what's the alternative?
Another woman?
It's our opinion that Major Larrabee
is giving information to a woman.
I fly at dawn.
Goodbye, darling.
How did you fare
with Operation Crepe Suzette?
(Duvalle)
He's being coerced.
(Lili)
He's being seduced.
Yes, I'm a lieutenant.
(Lili)
Operation Crepe Suzette.
Suzette. Suzette.
Lili.
Lili.
[Thunder rumbling]
[Door slamming]
[Thunder clapping]
Anything wrong?
No.
Any more champagne?
Plenty.
[Clinking]
- What?
- Oh.
Oh, darling, I'm sorry.
No, no, no. It's ok.
- It was an accident.
- No, it's ok.
- Oh, I've ruined your shirt.
- Doesn't matter.
Well, shouldn't you change?
What's the difference?
It's coming off in a minute anyway.
Subtle.
What's wrong?
Well, I was just going to ask you.
Ask me what?
What's wrong?
- With me?
- Yeah.
Well, nothing, darling,
but I do sense something about you.
Me?
It's really not important.
Well, of course it's important.
The girl that went into that bedroom
is not the same girl
who just walked out.
- Rubbish.
- It's not rubbish.
We're having our first fight.
We are not fighting. I am simply
trying to point out...
Bill.
[Thunder rumbling]
Carry me.
What?
Carry me.
- To my room.
- Hmm?
My room.
[Thunder rumbling]
Wait a minute.
I have a better idea.
[Thunder clapping]
[Chuckles]
I'm sorry, darling, really, I am.
I just can't help it.
Are you all right?
What do you mean, "all right"?
Oh, come, now.
You've got to admit,
seduction can really be very
funny if you stop to think about it.
You're not supposed to stop
and think about it.
Oh, Bill, that's a terribly
naive point of view
for a man of your sophistication
and experience.
- Bill?
- Look,
couldn't we talk about this tomorrow?
Oh, I know.
[Chuckles]
Damn it, Lili.
Sorry, I really can't help it.
Oh, if you really wanted me,
it shouldn't matter anyway.
[Sighs]
Come on. My sweet.
My love.
What is it?
- What did you just call me?
- What?
- What did you just call me?
- When?
- Think.
- Huh, what in the...
- Think! What did you just call me?
- What do you mean?
- How do I know what I called you?
- You called me darling,
you called me your love,
and you called me something else.
I said you were wonderful...
You called me something else, a name.
A name?
[Sighing]
Suzette.
- What?
- You called me Suzette.
- The hell I did.
- The hell you didn't. You did.
- The hell I did. Why would I call you Suzette?
- I don't know.
- Do you know a Suzette?
- No!
- You don't?
- No.
Oh.
[Thunder rumbling]
Bill.
Yeah?
I'm sorry.
I am.
- My pet.
- What?
My pet, that's what I called you.
- My pet?
- You're damn right.
My pet. Sounds like "Suzette."
Suzette, my pet.
My pet, Suzette.
- That's what I thought.
- Oh.
[Chuckles]
- Now what's wrong?
- Nothing.
Don't tell me nothing.
Did you really call me "my pet"?
Yes. I really called you my pet.
- What's the matter with that?
- Nothing. Nothing at all.
Okay.
[Sighs]
[Chuckles]
Oh, shoot.
Oh, Bill? Oh, darling.
Oh, sweet, forgive me.
I've been behaving like an idiot
schoolgirl and I'm sorry.
I adore you.
[Thunder crashing]
There have been others?
Oh, my darling.
Many?
Oh, my sweetheart.
- Bill.
- What?
You're not being honest.
- What do you mean, not being honest?
- What about Suzette?
Oh, damn it to hell, Lili,
I told you, there is no Suzette.
Operation Crepe Suzette.
- That's not a woman.
- Then what is it?
Oh, for God's sake, Lili,
you heard T.C. the other night.
Operation Crepe Suzette is a
military secret... that's what you said.
And that's what it is.
It's so important, I can't even tell you.
It isn't that I don't trust you.
It's just a matter of national security.
I wouldn't even tell my own mother.
[Thunder rumbling]
[Sighing]
All right.
You wanna know
about Operation Crepe Suzette?
- I'll tell you about Operation Crepe Suzette.
- I'd rather you didn't.
- You're gonna hear about it anyway.
- I don't want you to break...
The hell with security!
I wanna get this straight once and for all.
You want honesty, you're going to get
honesty and I could get shot for it.
I'm gonna give you every little detail
of the biggest military operation
since Battle of the Marne.
Now, last weekend, after I left you,
I reported to intelligence for
a top-secret briefing and it was big.
I mean, really big.
Everybody was there.
D'Esperey, Hirschauer,
Joffre, all of them.
And the English brass, too.
Rawlinson, even Haig.
The Germans were building
a secret weapon so big,
so devastating, that it might have
ended the war tomorrow.
Every available squadron
was ordered into the air
and I was to lead the attack.
The plan was to mass over Starnberg.
He lied to you.
He didn't fly last weekend.
There was no encounter
with Von Richthofen.
(Bill) It was the most
concentrated bombing effort
of the war to this day.
And the code name for the
whole operation was Crepe Suzette.
And you led the attack?
Yes.
Mmm-hmm!
Lili.
Lili!
[Pounding]
(Larrabee)
What the hell did I do, Lili?
[Knocking on door]
This is ridiculous.
At least tell me what I did wrong.
[Door closing]
Lili!
Lili.
Where are you going?
I fly at dawn.
Lili!
Oh, Merde!
[Screaming]
[Splashing]
[Thunder rumbling]
[Cranking]
Lili!
Lili, now, stop it!
I am going back to Paris.
You were gonna
take my car and leave me here?
Damn right!
- Choke it.
- I'd be delighted.
[Car engine sputtering]
Smile away
Each rainy day
And laugh away
Your blues
Let love light the sky up
Tell the clouds to dry up
And smile away each rainy day
Swine! Egomaniac!
(Larrabee)
Lili!
[Knocking on door]
Open this door!
I'm warning you, Lili,
if you don't open this door
I'm gonna break it down.
Lili!
Where is she?
I think she's in her room, sir.
[Water running]
(Larrabee)
Damn it, woman,
we're going to settle
this once and for all.
[Lili screaming]
Oh, get out of here!
- Not until we settle this.
- There's nothing to settle.
- The hell there isn't!
- Go settle it with Suzette.
- Suzette, my foot.
- Suzette, my crepe. Get out of my shower!
[Screaming]
What are you doing?
Now, let's have it.
[Shrieking]
[Coughing]
You bastard!
Oh, ahhh!
You gonna tell me?
Yes.
Uh, Generals Haig and...
Rawlinson?
What about generals
Haig and Rawlinson?
They were having dinner with me
the night they were supposed
to be briefing you.
Well, why didn't you say so
in the first place? So I'm a liar.
- What would you rather I be, a traitor?
- What?
You heard me, I said traitor.
The lives of hundreds, thousands of men
depend upon Operation Crepe Suzette
being kept a secret.
So, what in the name
of hellish vanity makes you think,
I'd compromise that in the name of your
adolescent, narcissistic ego?
My ego?
Sure, I lied to you.
I had to.
And you know what?
- I think you're glad you caught me lying.
- Oh, rubbish.
It is? I think maybe you have to
come up with excuses
- just to avoid the moment of truth.
- What?
In a word, miss Smith, I think it's
just possible you're a virgin.
Oh!
[Both sighing]
Bill?
Yeah?
Turn on the warm water.
[Moaning]
[Engine revving]
[Guns firing]
[Guns firing]
[Guns firing]
[Explosion]
[Engine roaring]
[Soldiers chattering in German]
Get off! Boches!
[Guns firing]
Gentlemen.
Uh, Mademoiselle Smith.
Eh, do sit down.
We have come to speak to you
again about Major Larrabee.
Yes?
Since last we met,
certain new evidence has come to light.
And now we believe we know
the identity of the person
to whom Major Larrabee
has been passing information.
Oh.
She's a well-known entertainer.
Really?
Her name is Suzette Maldue.
Who?
Perhaps you've heard of her.
She's known as Crepe Suzette.
[]
Your good-will ambassador
Would like to know are you doing ok
Your good-will ambassador
Would like to feel
you're enjoying your stay
If you're calm and placid
Or if you've
a red hot desire to roam
I want to get you all to know Paree
For there's a fast Paree
and there's a slow Paree
We'll do the whole big,
sexy potpourri
'Cause baby I'm going
to make you at home
[Sneezing]
We'll do the whole
big, sexy potpourri
'Cause baby I'm going
to make you at home
Or on the left bank
I'm going to make you at home
Or on the right bank
I'm going to make you
At home
That filthy, scheming, cheating, faking,
lying, egotistic,
self-indulgent, hedonistic, son of a...
[plane engines running]
Think we can do it?
Yes, but you had better fly,
'cause I haven't been drinking.
[Engine starting]
[Engine revving]
Halt! Halt!
Wait for me!
Wait a minute!
[Men shouting in German]
Just a minute.
Where are you going?
[Guns firing]
[]
[Speaking German]
[Men shouting]
I'll give you three guesses
Who loves you
Who's loved you
Right from the start
Not your mother
Who likes to baby you so
And not the girl back home
You used to know
Oh, no
There's somebody special
Who needs you
Together
Or apart
Bet you don't need three guesses
And not even two
To know that I'm the one
Sweetheart
[audience applauding]
Are you absolutely sure?
You can see her any night
at that place, all of her.
How fascinating.
I'll look into it.
Yes, I thought you'd want to do that.
You can take my word for it
that Operation Crepe Suzette
has never existed, except in bed.
And no doubt he's operating right now.
You sound jealous.
Oh, don't be an ass.
[Piano playing]
[Stops playing abruptly]
And how was everything at the front?
Fine.
Fine.
Hurt yourself?
No, it's nothing.
Just a flesh wound.
It's nothing serious.
Was it the Baron again?
No.
This time, believe it or not,
I happened to be up in a German plane.
[Both laughing]
"Believe it or not."
Well, well, why don't you
tell me all about it?
- Lili...
- Mmm-hmm?
What's up?
Up?
[Sighing]
[Chuckling]
Funny you should mention that.
- What?
- Well,
you were...
You were up.
In the air, so to speak.
Sort of a pun.
A pun?
Oh, darling, I'm sorry.
I'm not myself today.
I've been worried to death about you,
and then you come in
limping on that thing
and you must admit
that under the circumstances,
it's a bit difficult
to be reasonable and calm.
You...
- You really worried about me?
- Mmm-hmm.
Come on, now.
Tell me all about it.
Well,
- we did run into the Baron.
- Mmm-hmm.
T.C. got shot down.
No.
He's all right.
Oh, thank God.
I managed to land nearby,
but before I could find T.C.,
the Germans found me.
- Oh, you were behind enemy lines.
- Yeah.
Oh, how frightful.
Yeah.
I had to burn my plane.
Um, that sweet little plane?
Well, I had no choice.
A lucky shot put my plane
out of action.
- I had to make a run for it.
- All the way to France?
No, I mean...
We did have to cover
quite a bit of territory.
We?
T.C. and I.
Oh, you found him again.
- Yeah.
- Ah.
And yesterday morning
we stumbled on a German airfield
and we stole Von Richthofen's plane.
You must be exhausted.
A little.
[Sighing]
[Laughing]
What?
Did you really steal
Von Richthofen's plane?
[Laughing]
Yes.
In a pig's eye, you did.
[Groaning]
Lili! Lili!
[Phone ringing]
(Larrabee)
Lili, open this door!
[Larrabee knocking on door]
Lili!
- Yes!
- Lili?
Yes.
Unfortunately, your friend, the Major,
has borrowed the Baron's plane.
(Larrabee)
Lili!
You mean, he really did steal
Von Richthofen's plane?
(Kurt)
Lili?
Bill! Bill!
No. No.
Darling, it must've been awful.
Damn it to hell, Lili.
- Oh, come on, lean on me.
- No, wait, wait, wait.
- Please don't scold.
- I'm not gonna scold.
- I just wanna get things straight.
- But I believe you.
- No, you don't.
- I do.
Oh, how do I know?
You're not dependable about these things.
I promise, I swear,
I'll never ever doubt you again.
- Oh, yes, you will.
- I won't.
- I don't trust you.
- But I believe, honestly.
Come on, let's get you
off your feet. And I'm sorry.
No. No, Lili.
I can't stay.
You can't?
There's something important
I've got to take care of.
- Right now?
- Right now.
- This minute?
- It can't wait.
Lili...
Hmm?
- Do you believe?
- Well, of course, I believe it.
- But what in the world could be so important that...
- Lili.
Do you believe?
I believe.
Ok.
See you soon.
How soon?
Just as soon as I can make it.
I believe.
Bedford, get the car!
[Car horn honking]
Should I follow them?
No.
Take this and put it under her mattress.
That's our codebook.
Well, when they've been arrested
we'll change the code, now move!
[Beeping]
Capitaine Duvalle.
(Lili)
Captain Duvalle, this is Lili Smith.
Ah, Mademoiselle Smith.
You know how I've resisted your
allegations concerning Major Larrabee.
Well, there is something
I now feel I must tell you.
Major Larrabee has said several things
which make it absolutely clear
that he is indeed
passing important military information
to this, uh, this, uh, Suzette.
- Major Larrabee?
- Yes?
- Suzete Maldue?
- Oui.
I am Captain Duvalle of army intelligence.
I must regret to inform you,
and you, Miss Maldue,
that you are both under arrest.
- Under arrest?
- What for?
High treason.
What in the hell are you talking about?
Please, Major.
(Kurt) "According to Captain Duvalle of
French army intelligence,
"a search of Miss Maldue's lodgings
turned up vital and damaging evidence."
You realize what this means, Lili?
You can change the code.
It's been changed already.
It's not so easy
to replace Major Larrabee.
- Would it have been easier to replace me?
- Hmm.
Captain Duvalle
was suspicious of Suzette,
but, sooner or later,
he was bound to discover the truth,
unless he had
positive evidence against her.
I decided to protect myself
by providing him with that evidence.
And eliminate a rival.
Oh, don't be an ass.
That's the second time
you've called me that.
Oh, really?
The first time was when I suggested that
you might be becoming
emotionally involved.
Yes, I remember.
And the second time
was when I suggested
that you might be becoming
emotionally involved.
Lili, surely you must've known
that by implicating Suzette,
you could not help
but implicate the major.
Do you really love him so much?
Uh, here we are.
Try to look reasonably happy.
After all,
it isn't every day that a German spy
is awarded
the French Legion of Honor.
[Band playing]
Of course, I had an affair
with Major Larrabee.
But, he only took me out
to tell me it was finished
and that he was in love with Lili Smith.
We would like to believe you, but...
[dinging]
Until such time
as the court-martial is convened,
you are under military arrest.
And you will be
confined to your quarters.
Dismissed.
[Speaking in French]
[Singing in French]
[Speaks in French]
Well, my dear, don't worry.
Have a good journey.
Enjoy your rest.
I'll probably pay you a visit
sometime next month
to discuss the future.
Goodbye, Kurt.
Auf Wiedersehen.
[Whistling]
Come in, and close the door, hmm?
I have an important message for you,
from your friend, the Kaiser.
I gather I'm no longer
in His Majesty's good graces.
How did you guess?
Because you would naturally choose
to deliver such a message yourself
and it's the first time
I've ever seen you look happy.
I recall once when I was in Africa,
watching a jackal devouring a kill,
it had a similar look on its face.
(General) I'm under orders
to take you back to Germany
to face a court-martial.
But don't think for a moment
that I wouldn't be just as pleased
to turn in a report
that you refused to go, hmm?
And were shot trying to escape.
Shot by you, General,
or by your hatchet man, Kraus?
By the way, where is Kraus?
Taking care of some
last-minute business.
[Doorbell ringing]
Tea, Miss Lili?
Uh, yes.
And we'd better start packing.
Have you seen the evening paper?
No.
Don't let her see this.
If she asks, make an excuse.
But after all she's been through.
She's been through too much.
If she sees this,
there's no telling What'll happen.
But she loves him and she's miserable.
And it's too late
to do anything about it.
We're only one step ahead of
a firing squad, as it is.
Now don't you start
getting sentimental and muck things up.
Would it make any difference
if he loved you?
According to the evening paper,
Suzette Maldue claimed
she knew nothing about the codebook
and that Major Larrabee
only took her out that afternoon
to tell her he was in love
with another woman.
According to the evening paper.
Where is it?
Bedford didn't want you to see it.
He was afraid
you might do something foolish.
Oh.
[Car engine starting]
[Ringing]
No.
That should be Kraus.
(General)
Hello?
That wasn't the Colonel.
What should we do?
Pack.
[Phone ringing]
Yes?
I followed her to the French
intelligence headquarters.
Eliminate her.
The moment she sets foot
outside of that building,
get her.
[Gun firing]
Schnell.
I have a taxi.
No, we'll take my car.
Hey!
Hey, what are you trying to do?
[Speaking French]
Follow that car.
I am a German spy.
Do you understand what I'm saying?
Yes.
Yes, I understand what you are saying.
I also understand
why you are saying it.
Major Larrabee is innocent.
I was the one who had
the codebook planted
under w-w-what's-her-name's mattress.
I have come to make a full confession.
Mademoiselle Smith,
it's a wonderful, romantic gesture.
And as a Frenchman,
I appreciate everything
that you are trying to do, but...
Yes, what is it?
How does she know that the codebook
was under the mattress?
How do I know how she knew
that the codebook was
under the mattress?
You must forgive him.
How did you know that the codebook
was under the mattress?
Gentlemen. Lili, let's go.
[Gun firing]
- Oh.
- Let's run.
It's no good, Kurt.
I told them, I confessed.
I didn't implicate you or any of
the others, but they know about me.
You're bleeding,
you should see a doctor.
Bedford, drive to Dr. Rene's house.
- We are not going to Dr. Rene's house.
But you must get this seen to.
- We are going to the railway station.
- Railway station?
- And then we're going to Switzerland.
- Switzerland?
Oh, Kurt, you can
go to Switzerland, but I can't go.
I told them, they know about me.
I wasn't joking.
I told them.
- I'm sure you did.
- What if you're seen with me?
- May I please say something?
- What?
For someone who's always been
the personification
of quick-wittedness
and indefectible judgment,
you're suddenly making decisions
- with all the cunning of a headless chicken.
- What do you mean?
Look, you confessed
in order to save Major Larrabee.
Yes.
Because he is innocent.
- Yes.
- Is he?
Oh, don't be an ass.
- He didn't tell that woman a thing.
- Which woman?
Suzette. She's not a spy.
- But he told you.
- Well, of course he did.
- And you are a spy.
- And Suzette, who is not,
has a very good chance
of proving that she is not.
Thereby exonerating the Major.
Because without the real spy,
the government has no case.
But now, my dear, they have.
Oh, oh, my God.
And so you have no alternative.
If you stay and are convicted
the Major will
undoubtedly face a court-martial,
but if you can escape to Switzerland
and remain there incommunicado
until the appropriate time,
you might just save us all.
How could I have been such an idiot?
[Car tires screeching]
[Train horn blowing]
[People chattering]
[Man speaking in French over P.A.]
[Train engine chugging]
[Man making announcement in French]
[Train whistle blowing]
Here.
[Panting]
I'm gonna cover you up with this.
Try to sit quietly,
and don't move around too much.
Yes, nurse.
Don't be patronizing.
Put your feet up.
The best thing for us will be
to hide at the farm for a few days
before we try Switzerland.
What about the Colonel and Miss Lili?
If there's no trouble,
they'll be across the border by morning.
(Kurt)
Don't be unhappy, darling,
because there's a good possibility
the fighting will be over
before too very long
and then,
if he really loves you,
he'll find you, wherever you are.
He'd be better off if he didn't.
I always seem to mess things up.
I tried to put it all right,
and it all went wrong.
[Sobbing]
I wanted so to justify
your confidence in me.
I've always admired you and loved you
and respected you, and what happens?
He gets court-martialed,
and you get shot,
and here I am on this wretched train
going to Switzerland.
Well, we have one consolation:
Things can't get much worse.
[Larrabee laughing]
You think it's funny?
Lili Smith tells you she's a German spy
and you don't think it's funny?
Well, I admit that at first,
it did seem somewhat implausible.
Implausible?
(Duvalle)
Well, at first I thought it nothing more
than an attempt to exonerate you.
But she was in possession
of certain facts.
Gentlemen,
Lili's an actress.
- Yes.
- Of course, I considered that,
but when she was kidnapped...
Kidnapped?
Yes, it seemed...
Did you say "kidnapped"?
Yes, we were bringing her to see you,
to confront you with the evidence...
Who kidnapped her?
- We've no idea.
- I must insist...
- Shut up!
- A man jumped out of a car.
There were some shots and poof.
- What do you mean, "poof"?
- She was gone.
With Captain Duvalle's best suit.
- What did you do about it?
- Well, we came to see you.
We thought you might shed
some light on the matter.
This is the bathroom.
Yep.
[Both muttering indistinctly]
[Knocking]
Major?
[Both shouting indistinctly]
[Conversing in French]
I'm here to see major Larrobee.
[Speaks in French]
Parle nothing.
Major Larrobee.
You... you...
I am silence!
[Speaking French poorly]
Let's go, T.C.
Just a minute.
- Vous Parle Francais?
- Now, do you speak English?
[Shouting in French]
You don't speak English.
What's the matter with you?
[Speaks in French]
"Soo"? What's "soo"?
[Speaks in French]
"Drunt"? Ah, don't worry.
Let's go T.C.
Ah, there you are.
[Shouting in French]
Just a minute, Mon garcon.
Au revoir.
Why don't you shoot?
He can't.
He doesn't have
the necessary authority.
Well, he was doing pretty well
earlier this evening.
Herr Kraus is not trying to kill me.
He has orders only to eliminate you,
but he cannot do that now.
Why not?
Because he knows that if he shoots you,
he will most certainly have to kill me.
Oh.
Don't underestimate me, Colonel.
I don't think I do.
Killing me without proper orders
would lead to a firing squad
or at the very least,
a general court-martial.
Shortly before we reach Switzerland,
I shall stop this train,
and we shall get off.
Then it is only a few hundred yards
from the German border.
Make yourself comfortable, my dear.
Try to relax.
(Kurt)
We have several hours to go, yet.
Unless I am provoked.
Oh, of course.
But why are we going to her house?
Because if she's a spy,
there is a very good chance
that the butler and the maid
are in league with her.
But why are we taking this road?
Don't be an idiot.
We must take them by surprise,
so we must enter by the back way.
[Glass shatters]
Hello?
Anybody here?
[Humming]
- Hello?
- Hello?
Hey!
[Cries out]
[Coughing]
I can't take you anyplace.
He forced me to order
Von Richthofen's squadron
to attack the train at dawn
before it reaches the Swiss border.
Then he wrecked the transmitter.
[Speaking German]
[Train whistle blowing]
Look.
[Gun firing]
[Train brakes squealing]
[People screaming]
[Guns firing]
[]
[People cheering]
(Lili)
Often I think
This sad old world
Is whistling in the dark
Just like a child
Who, late from school
Walks bravely home
Through the park
To keep their spirits soaring
And keep the night at bay
Neither quite knowing
Which way they are going
They sing the shadows away
Often I think
My poor old heart
Has given up
For good
And then I see
A brand new face
I glimpse some new neighborhood
So walk me back home
My darling
Tell me dreams really come true
Whistling
Whistling
Here in the dark
With you
So walk me back home
My darling
Tell me dreams really come true
Whistling
Whistling
Here in the dark
With you
[audience applauding]
[All cheering]
All:
It's a long way to Tipperary
It's a long way to go
It's a long way to Tipperary
To the sweetest girl I know
Goodbye, Piccadilly
Farewell, Leicester Square
It's a long, long way to Tipperary
But my heart's right there
It's a long way to Tipperary
It's a long way to go
It's a long to Tipperary
To the sweetest girl I know
Goodbye, Piccadilly
Farewell, Leicester Square
It's a long, long way to Tipperary
But my heart's right there
[People cheering]
Darling Lili
Put a light in the window
And keep wearing
That bonnie smile
On those cold railway benches
Or in the trenches
Warm up our hearts
Awhile
Darling Lili
Blow a kiss to us, dearie
As we travel
Each weary mile
Not for mother
Or each other
Are we off to
End this war
You're the darling
We'll be winning
It for
Smile away each rainy day
And laugh away your blues
Be like old Mr. Noah
When it starts to pour
Make fun of trouble
Although you're seein' double
Keep in mind they're silver-lined
Those gloomy clouds of gray
Let love light the sky up
Tell the clouds to dry up
And smile away each rainy day
(Chorus)
Darling Lili
Put a light in the window
And keep wearing
That bonnie smile
On those cold railway benches
Or in the trenches
Warm up our hearts
Awhile
Darling Lili
Blow a kiss to us, dearie
As we travel
Each weary mile
Not for mother
Or each other
Are we off to
End this war
You're the darling
We'll be winning
It for
Smile away
Each rainy day
And laugh away
Your blues
Let love light the sky up
Tell those clouds to dry up
And smile away each rainy day
I'll give you three guesses
Who loves you
Who loves you
Right from the start
Not your mother
Who likes to baby you so
And not the girl next door
You used to know
Often I think
This sad old world
Is whistling
In the dark
Just like a child
Who, late from school
Walks bravely home
Through the park
To keep their spirits soaring
And keep the night at bay
Neither quite knowing
Which way they are going
They sing the shadows away
Often I think
My poor old heart
Has given up
For good
And then I see
A brand new face
I glimpse
Some new neighborhood
So walk me back home
My darling
Tell me dreams really come true
Whistling
Whistling
Here
In the dark with you
So walk me back home
My darling
Tell me dreams really come true
Whistling
Whistling
Here in the dark
With you
[audience cheering]
[Air raid siren wailing]
[Speaking German]
[Cannons firing]
[Screaming]
[All screaming]
Play Pack Up Your Troubles.
Don't go.
Don't worry.
Pack up your troubles
in your old kit bag
And smile, smile, smile
While you've a Lucifer
Smile, boys, that's the style
(All)
What's the use of worrying?
Get back to your seats.
It never was worthwhile
So pack up your troubles
in your old kit bag
And smile
Come on.
(All)
Smile, smile
Again!
(All) Pack up your troubles
in your old kit bag
And smile, smile, smile
While you've a Lucifer
Smile, boys, that's the style
What's the use of worrying?
It never was worthwhile
So
Pack up your troubles
in your old kit bag
And smile, smile, smile
Keep the home fires burning.
(All)
Keep the home fires burning
While your hearts are yearning
Though your lads are far away
They dream of home
There's a silver lining
Through the dark cloud shining
Turn the dark cloud inside out
Till the boys
Tipperary.
(All)
Come home
It's a long way to Tipperary
It's a long way to go
It's a long way to Tipperary
To the sweetest girl I know
Goodbye, Piccadilly
Farewell, Leicester Square
It's a long, long way to Tipperary
But my heart's right there
Bravo!
[All cheering]
Yeah!
[Water rushing]
[Water rushing]
[All speaking German]
[Water splashing]
[Horn honking]
Good evening, Miss Lili.
Hello, Emma.
The Colonel's in the study.
Thank you.
Oh, Emma, I'd love some tea.
Yes, miss.
Kurt.
How nice.
[Chuckling]
- How are you, my dear?
- Fine.
That's most important, Lili.
We must know
exactly how the Allies are planning
to utilize the military aircraft.
The war is changing.
It is, uh, moving into the air,
and, Lili,
we cannot afford to minimize
this new potential.
As each new squadron is formed,
the air war expands,
the ground war is altered,
forced to, uh, shift
and to, uh, to, how would you say,
to, uh,
accommodate on a day-to-day basis.
It's hard to believe.
What, that those ridiculous little
aircraft could make such a difference?
Mmm-hmm.
Yesterday Baron Von Richthofen
led six of those
ridiculous little aircraft...
Thank you... in an attack
on the ammunition depot in Toulon.
The explosion
shattered windows in Paris.
It also stopped a well-planned
enemy attack in the Argonne sector.
Incidentally, I understand,
you're to be decorated
by the French government.
Yes.
When?
Well, no date's been set,
but soon, I expect.
The sooner the better.
[Doorbell ringing]
(Sergeant)
Good evening, Mr. Bedford.
Good evening, Sergeant.
Sorry to disturb you at this late hour,
but we've reason to believe
there's a German spy in the vicinity.
Blimey.
You haven't seen or heard
anything suspicious, have you?
Not a thing,
but I'll certainly let you know if I do.
(Sergeant)
Uh, is Miss Lili down for the weekend?
Yes, her uncle's staying with us.
I believe, you met Mr. Von Ruger
when he was here last summer.
Oh, yes,
the distinguished Swedish gentleman.
Swiss.
(Sergeant)
Yes, that's right, Swiss.
Well, give Miss Lili
my regards, and her uncle,
and keep your eyes open, Mr. Bedford.
(Bedford) - I certainly will.
- Good night, Sergeant.
Good night.
Trouble?
Nothing we can't handle.
We just have to be careful.
Your assignment is the famous
Major William Larrabee.
Of the five men having access to
the day-to-day planning of the air war,
he would seem to be the best prospect.
He's young, attractive, unmarried.
That's a change.
I'm getting weary
of diplomats and old generals.
The Major is considered
to be quite the ladies' man.
If you're gonna spend
any length of time in France,
you should arrange some concerts,
maybe visit some of the hospitals.
Yes.
Success.
Major Larrabee.
[Machine guns firing]
[Engines roaring]
[Engine failing]
[Engines roaring]
[Engine humming]
Look out!
[All shouting]
(Man)
What's he doing?
[Plane crashing]
Good morning, Colonel.
General.
You know Kraus?
Yes.
I understand you've assigned
Project Sparrow
to Lili Smith.
Lili Schmidt.
But that, my dear Colonel,
is precisely the distinction
that separates our points of view.
You say Schmidt, I say Smith.
Her father was German.
Her mother is English.
Lili Smith is an English subject.
She left Germany when she was 10.
Forgive me, General, but I am not going
to debate this issue with you again.
Her record speaks for itself.
My dear Colonel, I'm almost as
impressed with her record as you are.
Impressed, hmm?
Not convinced.
That is unfortunate, General
because until I am
relieved of my command,
or you obtain the necessary
authority to countermand my orders,
I will continue
to assign to Lili Schmidt
whatever project
seems to me appropriate.
You forget yourself, Colonel.
I am still your superior officer,
and I will stop you
if I have to go to the Kaiser to do it.
I'll be happy to make
an appointment for you.
I'm having lunch with him
this afternoon.
Von Ruger, that woman
is a security risk.
She's an emotional female
who, in my opinion,
involved herself
for all the wrong reasons
and because of
your personal relationship,
you refuse to admit
the potential danger!
Concerning my personal relationship
with the lady, General,
it is, first, none of your business,
and second,
it in no way influences
her capabilities as an agent.
Regardless of what you may think,
she is the perfect spy
and the ideal person
to succeed with Project Sparrow.
And now, if you'll forgive me,
I'll be late for lunch.
Kraus.
They tell a story
back in London town
That when you hear taps sound
Then all you soldiers
have a sweetheart
Who always comes
Around
When night is falling
She comes calling
The girl in no man's land
She comes to cheer them
And be near them
The dream they understand
Doughboys
Weary, cold, and lonely
Know her
As their one and only
The angel who
At close of day
Comes 'round to kiss
Their cares
Away
When this is over
You'll discover
The love
You've always planned
Until that time
Pretend that I'm
The girl
In no man's
Land
Bonjour.
Bonjour.
Bonjour.
[Speaks French]
[Speaks French]
[Speaks French]
[Speaks French]
[Speaks French]
[Speaks French]
[Speaks French]
Doughboys
Weary, cold, and lonely
Know her
As their one and only
The angel who
At close of day
Comes 'round to kiss
Their cares
Away
When this is over
You'll discover
The love
You've always planned
Until that time
Pretend that I'm
The girl
In no man's
Land
[audience cheering]
Very good.
Very good, my dear.
Damn good show, old girl.
Damn good show.
[Audience laughing]
Oh!
[Laughing]
Just seat me there.
Alors, jouons rainy day, d'accord?
Smile away
Each rainy day
And laugh away your blues
Be like old Mr. Noah
When it starts to pour
Make fun of trouble
Although you're seein' double
Keep in mind
They're silver-lined
Those gloomy clouds of gray
Let love light the sky up
Tell the clouds to dry up
And smile away each rainy day
[Horn honking]
Here he comes.
[Sighing]
I have to dine
with two generals this evening.
The unofficial headquarters
of Major Larrabee's squadron
is the Cafe Cancan.
[Music playing]
[People cheering]
[Cheering continues]
[Man whistling]
Excuse me, ma'am, General, General.
'Cause I'm a little drunk,
but there's something I just gotta say.
Oh?
Ma'am, you are an inspiration.
Thank you.
I heard you sing in London,
and you sang
It's a long way to Tipperary
And, ma'am, it was inspirational!
[Both speaking French]
What was that, ma'am?
I just told the General you heard
me sing it's a long way to Tipperary.
Oh, yeah, you should've
heard her, General.
And you, too, General.
It was purely, purely inspirational.
- Thank you.
- Thank you, ma'am.
[Speaking French]
What was that?
He says you're
one of the famous Eagle Squadron.
Oh, yes, ma'am.
Lieutenant George "Youngblood" Carson.
How do you do?
My grandmother
was a full-blooded Cherokee Indian.
How exciting.
It was for my granddaddy.
Listen, if it wouldn't be
putting you to too much trouble,
I've got some buddies
over there just dying to meet you.
Hey, fellows!
(All)
Yeah, come on!
- What's happening?
- Come here.
Don't get up, General,
it's just my squadron.
Meet Miss Lili Smith.
(All)
How do you do, miss? I'm...
Can I have your autograph?
I've got to have it.
Come on, long way to Tipperary.
You know it. Let"s hear it.
[Music playing]
Yeah! That's it! That is it!
Hey everyone! Come on!
(All)
It's a long way to Tipperary
To the sweetest girl I know
Goodbye, Piccadilly
Farewell Leicester Square
It's a long long way to Tipperary
But my heart's right there
It's a long way to Tipperary
Thank you.
It's a long way to go
It's a long way to Tipperary
Sing it.
To the sweetest girl I know
Goodbye Piccadilly
Farewell Leicester Square
There it is.
It's a long long way to Tipperary
But my heart's right there
Parlez-vous
(all)
Mademoiselle from Armentieres
Parlez-vous
Mademoiselle from Armentieres
She hasn't been kissed for 40 years
Hinky-dinky, parlez-vous
(all)
Mademoiselle from Armentieres
Parlez-vous
Mademoiselle from Armentieres,
parlez-vous
She got the Palm
and the Croix de Guerre
For washin' soldiers' underwear
Hinky-dinky, parlez-vous
One night I had
beaucoup jack, parlez-vous
One night I had beaucoup jack...
Gentlemen, gentlemen, you are dears,
and I would love
to kiss you all good night...
[All cheering]
But, but, but, but,
but I'm only a tourist,
not a permanent resident.
[All sighing]
Hey, wait a minute, wait a minute,
wait a minute, she's got a point.
(All)
What point?
Oh, you're beautiful,
but you're just too much.
So, in the interest of saving time,
and as the senior Cherokee Indian...
[All whooping]
I will say good night for us all.
[All laughing]
Miss Lili.
Lieutenant?
Plant it right here.
[All laughing]
[All cheering]
Whoa.
[Chuckling]
Inspirational.
Purely inspirational.
- Good night. (All)
- Good night.
[All shouting]
Mademoiselle from Armentieres,
parlez-vous
Mademoiselle from Armentieres
She hasn't been kissed for 40 years
Hinky-dinky, parlez-vous
The general got the Croix de Guerre
Parlez vous
The general got the Croix de Guerre
Parlez vous
[ringing]
Allo?
(Lili)
Hello, Uncle.
Hello, my dear.
How was the evening?
You should know.
You were there.
You don't miss anything.
One of Major Larrabee's men said he
was on some kind of important mission.
Oh, that's too bad.
I've no doubt you'll meet
the Major another time.
I hope so.
In the meantime,
should we get together?
How about, uh,
a late breakfast, say around noon?
I look forward to seeing you.
Bye, darling.
Bye, uncle.
- Any instruction?
- No.
[Violin playing]
Thank you.
I'm Bill Larrabee.
How do you do?
I have champagne, caviar,
marinated truffles,
brilliant foie Gras, and half a dozen
assorted Hungarian Gypsies.
Sounds delicious.
I thought we'd go on a picnic.
At 3:00 in the morning?
It's the best time. No ants.
[Violin playing]
[Birds chirping]
[Plane engines roaring]
That's my squadron.
Dawn patrol.
- Is it?
- Mmm-hmm.
When do you have to report back?
Friday.
When do you have to go back to England?
Soon.
Not too soon, I hope.
Well, it depends.
On what?
I'm beginning to think, Major,
it might just possibly depend on you.
What's he like?
Attractive, charming, conceited.
When do you see him again?
Tonight.
He's on leave until Friday.
You better get some sleep.
I think you're right.
No, relax. Stay and finish
your breakfast.
I'll contact you the minute
I have something important.
- Pleasant dreams.
- Thank you, darling.
A picnic at 3:00 in the morning.
Best time. No ants.
[Singing in French]
(Chorus)
So walk me back home my darling
Tell me dreams really come true
It's 11:00, Miss Lili.
(Chorus)
Often I think
My poor old heart
Has given up
For good
And then I see
A brand new face
I glimpse
Some new neighborhood
So walk me back home
My darling
Tell me dreams really come true
Good night.
Good night.
Good night?
I fly at dawn.
Oh.
Good night, darling.
"I fly at dawn"?
- Quote, unquote.
- Amazing.
Yes, makes a girl feel a bit insecure.
You? Insecure?
Well, not really, but,
you must admit, it is a bit unnatural.
Well, yes,
considering the provocation,
but that's really beside the point.
It is?
The information
you've extracted from Major Larrabee
has greatly exceeded our expectations,
and, uh, should the need
for more persuasive measures arise,
I'm sure that you'll be up to it.
Yes, but will Major Larrabee?
The gentlemen
are from French army intelligence.
Are they?
Mademoiselle Smith,
what a pleasure to meet you.
Good morning.
- Please forgive us this intrusion.
- No intrusion at all.
This is my colleague,
Lieutenant Liggett.
Very...
And I am Captain Duvalle.
- We are with army intelligence.
- Oui.
Won't you sit down?
Now, how can I help you?
You are a friend
of Major William F. Larrabee.
Yes.
We have reason to believe
that Major Larrabee is passing
military secrets to the enemy.
You can't be serious.
There is no question
that vital data is leaking out
concerning Allied air operations.
A reminder, very few men having
access to this information
the foremost is Major Larrabee.
We strongly suspect that he is
passing the information
to a German secret agent.
But this is preposterous,
even to suggest
that Major Larrabee's a traitor.
I hope I'm wrong
and that is why we are here.
We need your cooperation.
What sort of cooperation?
Watch, listen,
report anything suspicious.
You're asking me to be an informer.
I'm asking you to help establish
Major Larrabee's guilt or innocence.
Mademoiselle Smith,
we must discover
who this German agent is
and apprehend her.
It is a matter of national s-s-securite.
It is a matter of self-respect.
When you have some proof
of your allegations,
then I might, perhaps, reconsider.
"Her"?
[Stuttering]
Pardon?
You said "apprehend her."
Well, I...
It's our opinion that Major Larrabee
is giving information to a woman.
Of course, it's only an opinion.
Well, it seems reasonable to assume
that a man like the Major...
(Boings)
I mean, with his record...
Military record.
If, uh, if... if he is passing
information to the enemy,
he is doing so unwillingly.
I mean, unknowingly.
He's being, uh,
coerced.
He's being seduced.
[Gasping]
Yes.
Well, as I've said before,
when you have some proof,
then I might consider helping you,
but until such time,
I'm afraid it's out of the question.
Now, if you'll excuse me.
Naturally, of course,
we can count
on your discretion in this matter.
- Naturally.
- Good day.
- Good day.
- Good day.
(Lili)
You heard?
Yes.
If I continue with Major Larrabee,
it could be just a matter of time
before they discover
that I'm the one they want.
On the other hand,
if I stop seeing the major,
and the flow of information
stops at the same time,
they'll know immediately.
Interesting situation.
[Audience applauding]
[Music playing]
If you're good at riddle solving
If you make the claim
That no puzzle ever puzzles you
Here is one that needs evolving
Here's a guessing game
That should be a snap for you to do
[Audience applauding]
I'll give you three guesses
Who loves you
Who's loved you right from the start
Not your mother
Who likes to baby you so
And not the girl back home
You used to know
Oh, no
There's somebody special
Who needs you
Together
Or apart
Bet you don't need three guesses
And not even two
To know that
I'm the one sweetheart
[foot tapping]
(Men)
There's somebody special
Who needs you
Together or apart
Bet you don't need three guesses
And not even two
(all)
To know that
I'm the one
Sweetheart
[audience applauding]
[Band playing]
Miss Smith!
Miss Smith, your curtain call.
[Sighing]
Would it be indiscreet
to say that I missed you?
No.
To say that
I missed you terribly?
- Not quite.
- Desperately?
Possibly.
- Passionately?
- Definitely.
Would you settle for desperately?
- I'll settle for passionately.
- Oh.
What about my reputation?
I'll risk it.
[Sighing]
You look tired, darling.
- I am, a little bit.
- Was it that bad?
No, not that bad, but bad.
The Baron plays pretty rough.
The Baron?
Von Richthofen.
Ah.
He fights very well, that gentleman.
When do you have to be back?
Sunday.
Not till Sunday night.
- Ah, then you can get plenty of rest.
- Mmm-hmm.
I thought, if you have nothing to do,
that we could ride out
to the country tomorrow.
I know a lovely spot.
Quiet, romantic,
guaranteed to restore the body
and renovate the soul.
(Lili)
Hmm.
Or is it the other way around?
Either way, it sounds marvelous.
Marvelous it is.
And tonight we eat, we drink,
we forget the Baron.
It really was bad, wasn't it?
It was hell.
[Piano playing]
[People chattering]
Army intelligence.
We would like a table for two
and as near as p-p-possible,
if you please,
to Major Larrabee's table.
I don't understand.
I am aware that we have
no reservations,
but this is official
government business.
Allez, allez.
I'm sorry, but I am not the head waiter.
Go find the head waiter.
Oui.
My apologies, monsieur.
Ah.
Thank you.
Are they really that good?
- Oh, yes, they're delicious.
- Will you try one?
- No.
- Come on, try one, huh?
Mmm-mmm, some other time.
Oh, oh, my foot!
Your drink, my foot.
Now, go on, there we are.
Sit down, old sport.
There you are,
you can sit down there.
Good girl.
And I'll sit down...
- Uh, excuse me, could we borrow this chair?
- Yes, of course.
I have to put my leg up. You see,
I've got a plaster and...
Oh, good God.
Hey, I thought you were in hospital.
My goodness me.
They let you out, too, did they?
Well, how are you?
Any better?
I'm fine, thank you.
Yes, well, so am I.
I mean, with this thing here
and I'm over there with, uh...
Oh, I don't know what her name is.
Anyway, who are you with?
Uh, Major Larrabee.
Major Larrabee?
I know him very well.
We fly together everywhere.
- Really?
- Yes, we do.
Hey, eh.
Hello, old cock.
Hello.
- We've just been talking about you.
- Were you?
Yes. Well, um,
nice to see you up and about again,
even though you are sitting down.
Anyway, bye-bye, now.
Umm. Very nice, dear.
Well, off we go.
And I'll see you, uh, oh...
Incidentally, old cock,
how did you fare this weekend
with Operation Crepe Suzette?
Incidentally, old cock,
that mission was top-secret.
Oh. Yes, yes. What?
Umm, just a minute.
Get that thing down, you fool.
[People shouting]
Get back with that.
[Glass shattering]
Get these men off me!
- It happens.
- He's drunk.
- Always is.
- Even when he flies?
- Always is.
- I don't believe you.
- Really?
- Yeah.
But then why does he drink?
Because he's afraid to fly.
Then why does he fly?
Because he likes to drink.
Well, sooner or later he's bound
to get himself killed.
Sooner or later, he probably will.
Meanwhile, he has seven planes
to his credit.
- What? You're not serious.
- Ha-ha, I certainly am.
You mean he shot down
seven German planes?
No, he shot down seven French planes.
What?
Well, actually, he only shot down one.
The rest he just wrecked.
And when you consider
he's only been at the front
for about six months,
it's an incredible record.
[Chuckling]
(Lili)
And you're an incredible liar.
My word of honor.
As of last Friday,
Lieutenant Twombly-Crouch was tied
with Von Richthofen
for the championship.
I still don't believe you.
Neither does anybody else.
That's what keeps old T.C. flying,
or crashing, as the case may be.
Nobody believes it,
including his squadron commander.
- And who's that?
- Me.
Oh.
What was all that talk about top-secret
missions and Crepe Suzette?
- Just talk.
- Mmm-hmm?
You know, I think
you're some kind of a spy.
If I told you I was?
I know lots of military secrets.
Good.
Back in a minute to pry them out of you.
Crepe Suzette.
What?
That's exactly what he said.
Operation Crepe Suzette.
What else?
That it's top-secret.
So far, that's all.
But he's planned a weekend
in the country
and I'll contact you
as soon as I have the information.
[Hanging up]
Bill?
Major Larrabee?
[Choir singing in French]
Look.
Bonjour.
(Lili singing in French with choir)
[Thunder rumbling]
[Clinking]
To us.
[Thunder rumbling]
- Bill.
- Hmm?
Do me a favor.
Sure.
No lines, no campaign.
In the first place, it isn't necessary
and in the second place,
I... I want whatever happens
this weekend to be honest.
Well, since I have
nothing to gain by lying to you,
I think you're the most provocative,
exciting,
and most desirable woman
I've ever met.
I'll buy that.
[Thunder rumbling]
[Speaking French]
[Rain pattering]
[Thunder rumbling]
[Liggett screaming]
[Speaking in French]
[Knock on door]
[Coughs]
[Thunder crashing]
[Knock on door]
Excuse me.
Bon soir, monsieur.
- Bon soir.
- Champagne, monsieur.
I have champagne.
Here.
Compliments of the management.
[Thunder rumbling]
Will you be ordering dinner?
No.
Bon soir, Monsieur.
Bon soir, Madame.
I'm sorry, darling.
Bill.
- Hmm?
Would you excuse me just one minute?
Be right back.
Shan't be long.
Are you out of your mind?
He lied to you.
What?
He didn't fly last weekend.
There was no encounter
with Von Richthofen.
Larrabee's squadron
was in the air, but Larrabee was not.
Moreover, we've checked every channel
and nothing at all has filtered down
about any Operation Crepe Suzette.
So, either it is
even more important than we imagined
or it simply doesn't exist.
And if it doesn't?
Then he's onto you.
It's possible, I suppose,
but my every instinct says no.
Then what's the alternative?
Another woman?
It's our opinion that Major Larrabee
is giving information to a woman.
I fly at dawn.
Goodbye, darling.
How did you fare
with Operation Crepe Suzette?
(Duvalle)
He's being coerced.
(Lili)
He's being seduced.
Yes, I'm a lieutenant.
(Lili)
Operation Crepe Suzette.
Suzette. Suzette.
Lili.
Lili.
[Thunder rumbling]
[Door slamming]
[Thunder clapping]
Anything wrong?
No.
Any more champagne?
Plenty.
[Clinking]
- What?
- Oh.
Oh, darling, I'm sorry.
No, no, no. It's ok.
- It was an accident.
- No, it's ok.
- Oh, I've ruined your shirt.
- Doesn't matter.
Well, shouldn't you change?
What's the difference?
It's coming off in a minute anyway.
Subtle.
What's wrong?
Well, I was just going to ask you.
Ask me what?
What's wrong?
- With me?
- Yeah.
Well, nothing, darling,
but I do sense something about you.
Me?
It's really not important.
Well, of course it's important.
The girl that went into that bedroom
is not the same girl
who just walked out.
- Rubbish.
- It's not rubbish.
We're having our first fight.
We are not fighting. I am simply
trying to point out...
Bill.
[Thunder rumbling]
Carry me.
What?
Carry me.
- To my room.
- Hmm?
My room.
[Thunder rumbling]
Wait a minute.
I have a better idea.
[Thunder clapping]
[Chuckles]
I'm sorry, darling, really, I am.
I just can't help it.
Are you all right?
What do you mean, "all right"?
Oh, come, now.
You've got to admit,
seduction can really be very
funny if you stop to think about it.
You're not supposed to stop
and think about it.
Oh, Bill, that's a terribly
naive point of view
for a man of your sophistication
and experience.
- Bill?
- Look,
couldn't we talk about this tomorrow?
Oh, I know.
[Chuckles]
Damn it, Lili.
Sorry, I really can't help it.
Oh, if you really wanted me,
it shouldn't matter anyway.
[Sighs]
Come on. My sweet.
My love.
What is it?
- What did you just call me?
- What?
- What did you just call me?
- When?
- Think.
- Huh, what in the...
- Think! What did you just call me?
- What do you mean?
- How do I know what I called you?
- You called me darling,
you called me your love,
and you called me something else.
I said you were wonderful...
You called me something else, a name.
A name?
[Sighing]
Suzette.
- What?
- You called me Suzette.
- The hell I did.
- The hell you didn't. You did.
- The hell I did. Why would I call you Suzette?
- I don't know.
- Do you know a Suzette?
- No!
- You don't?
- No.
Oh.
[Thunder rumbling]
Bill.
Yeah?
I'm sorry.
I am.
- My pet.
- What?
My pet, that's what I called you.
- My pet?
- You're damn right.
My pet. Sounds like "Suzette."
Suzette, my pet.
My pet, Suzette.
- That's what I thought.
- Oh.
[Chuckles]
- Now what's wrong?
- Nothing.
Don't tell me nothing.
Did you really call me "my pet"?
Yes. I really called you my pet.
- What's the matter with that?
- Nothing. Nothing at all.
Okay.
[Sighs]
[Chuckles]
Oh, shoot.
Oh, Bill? Oh, darling.
Oh, sweet, forgive me.
I've been behaving like an idiot
schoolgirl and I'm sorry.
I adore you.
[Thunder crashing]
There have been others?
Oh, my darling.
Many?
Oh, my sweetheart.
- Bill.
- What?
You're not being honest.
- What do you mean, not being honest?
- What about Suzette?
Oh, damn it to hell, Lili,
I told you, there is no Suzette.
Operation Crepe Suzette.
- That's not a woman.
- Then what is it?
Oh, for God's sake, Lili,
you heard T.C. the other night.
Operation Crepe Suzette is a
military secret... that's what you said.
And that's what it is.
It's so important, I can't even tell you.
It isn't that I don't trust you.
It's just a matter of national security.
I wouldn't even tell my own mother.
[Thunder rumbling]
[Sighing]
All right.
You wanna know
about Operation Crepe Suzette?
- I'll tell you about Operation Crepe Suzette.
- I'd rather you didn't.
- You're gonna hear about it anyway.
- I don't want you to break...
The hell with security!
I wanna get this straight once and for all.
You want honesty, you're going to get
honesty and I could get shot for it.
I'm gonna give you every little detail
of the biggest military operation
since Battle of the Marne.
Now, last weekend, after I left you,
I reported to intelligence for
a top-secret briefing and it was big.
I mean, really big.
Everybody was there.
D'Esperey, Hirschauer,
Joffre, all of them.
And the English brass, too.
Rawlinson, even Haig.
The Germans were building
a secret weapon so big,
so devastating, that it might have
ended the war tomorrow.
Every available squadron
was ordered into the air
and I was to lead the attack.
The plan was to mass over Starnberg.
He lied to you.
He didn't fly last weekend.
There was no encounter
with Von Richthofen.
(Bill) It was the most
concentrated bombing effort
of the war to this day.
And the code name for the
whole operation was Crepe Suzette.
And you led the attack?
Yes.
Mmm-hmm!
Lili.
Lili!
[Pounding]
(Larrabee)
What the hell did I do, Lili?
[Knocking on door]
This is ridiculous.
At least tell me what I did wrong.
[Door closing]
Lili!
Lili.
Where are you going?
I fly at dawn.
Lili!
Oh, Merde!
[Screaming]
[Splashing]
[Thunder rumbling]
[Cranking]
Lili!
Lili, now, stop it!
I am going back to Paris.
You were gonna
take my car and leave me here?
Damn right!
- Choke it.
- I'd be delighted.
[Car engine sputtering]
Smile away
Each rainy day
And laugh away
Your blues
Let love light the sky up
Tell the clouds to dry up
And smile away each rainy day
Swine! Egomaniac!
(Larrabee)
Lili!
[Knocking on door]
Open this door!
I'm warning you, Lili,
if you don't open this door
I'm gonna break it down.
Lili!
Where is she?
I think she's in her room, sir.
[Water running]
(Larrabee)
Damn it, woman,
we're going to settle
this once and for all.
[Lili screaming]
Oh, get out of here!
- Not until we settle this.
- There's nothing to settle.
- The hell there isn't!
- Go settle it with Suzette.
- Suzette, my foot.
- Suzette, my crepe. Get out of my shower!
[Screaming]
What are you doing?
Now, let's have it.
[Shrieking]
[Coughing]
You bastard!
Oh, ahhh!
You gonna tell me?
Yes.
Uh, Generals Haig and...
Rawlinson?
What about generals
Haig and Rawlinson?
They were having dinner with me
the night they were supposed
to be briefing you.
Well, why didn't you say so
in the first place? So I'm a liar.
- What would you rather I be, a traitor?
- What?
You heard me, I said traitor.
The lives of hundreds, thousands of men
depend upon Operation Crepe Suzette
being kept a secret.
So, what in the name
of hellish vanity makes you think,
I'd compromise that in the name of your
adolescent, narcissistic ego?
My ego?
Sure, I lied to you.
I had to.
And you know what?
- I think you're glad you caught me lying.
- Oh, rubbish.
It is? I think maybe you have to
come up with excuses
- just to avoid the moment of truth.
- What?
In a word, miss Smith, I think it's
just possible you're a virgin.
Oh!
[Both sighing]
Bill?
Yeah?
Turn on the warm water.
[Moaning]
[Engine revving]
[Guns firing]
[Guns firing]
[Guns firing]
[Explosion]
[Engine roaring]
[Soldiers chattering in German]
Get off! Boches!
[Guns firing]
Gentlemen.
Uh, Mademoiselle Smith.
Eh, do sit down.
We have come to speak to you
again about Major Larrabee.
Yes?
Since last we met,
certain new evidence has come to light.
And now we believe we know
the identity of the person
to whom Major Larrabee
has been passing information.
Oh.
She's a well-known entertainer.
Really?
Her name is Suzette Maldue.
Who?
Perhaps you've heard of her.
She's known as Crepe Suzette.
[]
Your good-will ambassador
Would like to know are you doing ok
Your good-will ambassador
Would like to feel
you're enjoying your stay
If you're calm and placid
Or if you've
a red hot desire to roam
I want to get you all to know Paree
For there's a fast Paree
and there's a slow Paree
We'll do the whole big,
sexy potpourri
'Cause baby I'm going
to make you at home
[Sneezing]
We'll do the whole
big, sexy potpourri
'Cause baby I'm going
to make you at home
Or on the left bank
I'm going to make you at home
Or on the right bank
I'm going to make you
At home
That filthy, scheming, cheating, faking,
lying, egotistic,
self-indulgent, hedonistic, son of a...
[plane engines running]
Think we can do it?
Yes, but you had better fly,
'cause I haven't been drinking.
[Engine starting]
[Engine revving]
Halt! Halt!
Wait for me!
Wait a minute!
[Men shouting in German]
Just a minute.
Where are you going?
[Guns firing]
[]
[Speaking German]
[Men shouting]
I'll give you three guesses
Who loves you
Who's loved you
Right from the start
Not your mother
Who likes to baby you so
And not the girl back home
You used to know
Oh, no
There's somebody special
Who needs you
Together
Or apart
Bet you don't need three guesses
And not even two
To know that I'm the one
Sweetheart
[audience applauding]
Are you absolutely sure?
You can see her any night
at that place, all of her.
How fascinating.
I'll look into it.
Yes, I thought you'd want to do that.
You can take my word for it
that Operation Crepe Suzette
has never existed, except in bed.
And no doubt he's operating right now.
You sound jealous.
Oh, don't be an ass.
[Piano playing]
[Stops playing abruptly]
And how was everything at the front?
Fine.
Fine.
Hurt yourself?
No, it's nothing.
Just a flesh wound.
It's nothing serious.
Was it the Baron again?
No.
This time, believe it or not,
I happened to be up in a German plane.
[Both laughing]
"Believe it or not."
Well, well, why don't you
tell me all about it?
- Lili...
- Mmm-hmm?
What's up?
Up?
[Sighing]
[Chuckling]
Funny you should mention that.
- What?
- Well,
you were...
You were up.
In the air, so to speak.
Sort of a pun.
A pun?
Oh, darling, I'm sorry.
I'm not myself today.
I've been worried to death about you,
and then you come in
limping on that thing
and you must admit
that under the circumstances,
it's a bit difficult
to be reasonable and calm.
You...
- You really worried about me?
- Mmm-hmm.
Come on, now.
Tell me all about it.
Well,
- we did run into the Baron.
- Mmm-hmm.
T.C. got shot down.
No.
He's all right.
Oh, thank God.
I managed to land nearby,
but before I could find T.C.,
the Germans found me.
- Oh, you were behind enemy lines.
- Yeah.
Oh, how frightful.
Yeah.
I had to burn my plane.
Um, that sweet little plane?
Well, I had no choice.
A lucky shot put my plane
out of action.
- I had to make a run for it.
- All the way to France?
No, I mean...
We did have to cover
quite a bit of territory.
We?
T.C. and I.
Oh, you found him again.
- Yeah.
- Ah.
And yesterday morning
we stumbled on a German airfield
and we stole Von Richthofen's plane.
You must be exhausted.
A little.
[Sighing]
[Laughing]
What?
Did you really steal
Von Richthofen's plane?
[Laughing]
Yes.
In a pig's eye, you did.
[Groaning]
Lili! Lili!
[Phone ringing]
(Larrabee)
Lili, open this door!
[Larrabee knocking on door]
Lili!
- Yes!
- Lili?
Yes.
Unfortunately, your friend, the Major,
has borrowed the Baron's plane.
(Larrabee)
Lili!
You mean, he really did steal
Von Richthofen's plane?
(Kurt)
Lili?
Bill! Bill!
No. No.
Darling, it must've been awful.
Damn it to hell, Lili.
- Oh, come on, lean on me.
- No, wait, wait, wait.
- Please don't scold.
- I'm not gonna scold.
- I just wanna get things straight.
- But I believe you.
- No, you don't.
- I do.
Oh, how do I know?
You're not dependable about these things.
I promise, I swear,
I'll never ever doubt you again.
- Oh, yes, you will.
- I won't.
- I don't trust you.
- But I believe, honestly.
Come on, let's get you
off your feet. And I'm sorry.
No. No, Lili.
I can't stay.
You can't?
There's something important
I've got to take care of.
- Right now?
- Right now.
- This minute?
- It can't wait.
Lili...
Hmm?
- Do you believe?
- Well, of course, I believe it.
- But what in the world could be so important that...
- Lili.
Do you believe?
I believe.
Ok.
See you soon.
How soon?
Just as soon as I can make it.
I believe.
Bedford, get the car!
[Car horn honking]
Should I follow them?
No.
Take this and put it under her mattress.
That's our codebook.
Well, when they've been arrested
we'll change the code, now move!
[Beeping]
Capitaine Duvalle.
(Lili)
Captain Duvalle, this is Lili Smith.
Ah, Mademoiselle Smith.
You know how I've resisted your
allegations concerning Major Larrabee.
Well, there is something
I now feel I must tell you.
Major Larrabee has said several things
which make it absolutely clear
that he is indeed
passing important military information
to this, uh, this, uh, Suzette.
- Major Larrabee?
- Yes?
- Suzete Maldue?
- Oui.
I am Captain Duvalle of army intelligence.
I must regret to inform you,
and you, Miss Maldue,
that you are both under arrest.
- Under arrest?
- What for?
High treason.
What in the hell are you talking about?
Please, Major.
(Kurt) "According to Captain Duvalle of
French army intelligence,
"a search of Miss Maldue's lodgings
turned up vital and damaging evidence."
You realize what this means, Lili?
You can change the code.
It's been changed already.
It's not so easy
to replace Major Larrabee.
- Would it have been easier to replace me?
- Hmm.
Captain Duvalle
was suspicious of Suzette,
but, sooner or later,
he was bound to discover the truth,
unless he had
positive evidence against her.
I decided to protect myself
by providing him with that evidence.
And eliminate a rival.
Oh, don't be an ass.
That's the second time
you've called me that.
Oh, really?
The first time was when I suggested that
you might be becoming
emotionally involved.
Yes, I remember.
And the second time
was when I suggested
that you might be becoming
emotionally involved.
Lili, surely you must've known
that by implicating Suzette,
you could not help
but implicate the major.
Do you really love him so much?
Uh, here we are.
Try to look reasonably happy.
After all,
it isn't every day that a German spy
is awarded
the French Legion of Honor.
[Band playing]
Of course, I had an affair
with Major Larrabee.
But, he only took me out
to tell me it was finished
and that he was in love with Lili Smith.
We would like to believe you, but...
[dinging]
Until such time
as the court-martial is convened,
you are under military arrest.
And you will be
confined to your quarters.
Dismissed.
[Speaking in French]
[Singing in French]
[Speaks in French]
Well, my dear, don't worry.
Have a good journey.
Enjoy your rest.
I'll probably pay you a visit
sometime next month
to discuss the future.
Goodbye, Kurt.
Auf Wiedersehen.
[Whistling]
Come in, and close the door, hmm?
I have an important message for you,
from your friend, the Kaiser.
I gather I'm no longer
in His Majesty's good graces.
How did you guess?
Because you would naturally choose
to deliver such a message yourself
and it's the first time
I've ever seen you look happy.
I recall once when I was in Africa,
watching a jackal devouring a kill,
it had a similar look on its face.
(General) I'm under orders
to take you back to Germany
to face a court-martial.
But don't think for a moment
that I wouldn't be just as pleased
to turn in a report
that you refused to go, hmm?
And were shot trying to escape.
Shot by you, General,
or by your hatchet man, Kraus?
By the way, where is Kraus?
Taking care of some
last-minute business.
[Doorbell ringing]
Tea, Miss Lili?
Uh, yes.
And we'd better start packing.
Have you seen the evening paper?
No.
Don't let her see this.
If she asks, make an excuse.
But after all she's been through.
She's been through too much.
If she sees this,
there's no telling What'll happen.
But she loves him and she's miserable.
And it's too late
to do anything about it.
We're only one step ahead of
a firing squad, as it is.
Now don't you start
getting sentimental and muck things up.
Would it make any difference
if he loved you?
According to the evening paper,
Suzette Maldue claimed
she knew nothing about the codebook
and that Major Larrabee
only took her out that afternoon
to tell her he was in love
with another woman.
According to the evening paper.
Where is it?
Bedford didn't want you to see it.
He was afraid
you might do something foolish.
Oh.
[Car engine starting]
[Ringing]
No.
That should be Kraus.
(General)
Hello?
That wasn't the Colonel.
What should we do?
Pack.
[Phone ringing]
Yes?
I followed her to the French
intelligence headquarters.
Eliminate her.
The moment she sets foot
outside of that building,
get her.
[Gun firing]
Schnell.
I have a taxi.
No, we'll take my car.
Hey!
Hey, what are you trying to do?
[Speaking French]
Follow that car.
I am a German spy.
Do you understand what I'm saying?
Yes.
Yes, I understand what you are saying.
I also understand
why you are saying it.
Major Larrabee is innocent.
I was the one who had
the codebook planted
under w-w-what's-her-name's mattress.
I have come to make a full confession.
Mademoiselle Smith,
it's a wonderful, romantic gesture.
And as a Frenchman,
I appreciate everything
that you are trying to do, but...
Yes, what is it?
How does she know that the codebook
was under the mattress?
How do I know how she knew
that the codebook was
under the mattress?
You must forgive him.
How did you know that the codebook
was under the mattress?
Gentlemen. Lili, let's go.
[Gun firing]
- Oh.
- Let's run.
It's no good, Kurt.
I told them, I confessed.
I didn't implicate you or any of
the others, but they know about me.
You're bleeding,
you should see a doctor.
Bedford, drive to Dr. Rene's house.
- We are not going to Dr. Rene's house.
But you must get this seen to.
- We are going to the railway station.
- Railway station?
- And then we're going to Switzerland.
- Switzerland?
Oh, Kurt, you can
go to Switzerland, but I can't go.
I told them, they know about me.
I wasn't joking.
I told them.
- I'm sure you did.
- What if you're seen with me?
- May I please say something?
- What?
For someone who's always been
the personification
of quick-wittedness
and indefectible judgment,
you're suddenly making decisions
- with all the cunning of a headless chicken.
- What do you mean?
Look, you confessed
in order to save Major Larrabee.
Yes.
Because he is innocent.
- Yes.
- Is he?
Oh, don't be an ass.
- He didn't tell that woman a thing.
- Which woman?
Suzette. She's not a spy.
- But he told you.
- Well, of course he did.
- And you are a spy.
- And Suzette, who is not,
has a very good chance
of proving that she is not.
Thereby exonerating the Major.
Because without the real spy,
the government has no case.
But now, my dear, they have.
Oh, oh, my God.
And so you have no alternative.
If you stay and are convicted
the Major will
undoubtedly face a court-martial,
but if you can escape to Switzerland
and remain there incommunicado
until the appropriate time,
you might just save us all.
How could I have been such an idiot?
[Car tires screeching]
[Train horn blowing]
[People chattering]
[Man speaking in French over P.A.]
[Train engine chugging]
[Man making announcement in French]
[Train whistle blowing]
Here.
[Panting]
I'm gonna cover you up with this.
Try to sit quietly,
and don't move around too much.
Yes, nurse.
Don't be patronizing.
Put your feet up.
The best thing for us will be
to hide at the farm for a few days
before we try Switzerland.
What about the Colonel and Miss Lili?
If there's no trouble,
they'll be across the border by morning.
(Kurt)
Don't be unhappy, darling,
because there's a good possibility
the fighting will be over
before too very long
and then,
if he really loves you,
he'll find you, wherever you are.
He'd be better off if he didn't.
I always seem to mess things up.
I tried to put it all right,
and it all went wrong.
[Sobbing]
I wanted so to justify
your confidence in me.
I've always admired you and loved you
and respected you, and what happens?
He gets court-martialed,
and you get shot,
and here I am on this wretched train
going to Switzerland.
Well, we have one consolation:
Things can't get much worse.
[Larrabee laughing]
You think it's funny?
Lili Smith tells you she's a German spy
and you don't think it's funny?
Well, I admit that at first,
it did seem somewhat implausible.
Implausible?
(Duvalle)
Well, at first I thought it nothing more
than an attempt to exonerate you.
But she was in possession
of certain facts.
Gentlemen,
Lili's an actress.
- Yes.
- Of course, I considered that,
but when she was kidnapped...
Kidnapped?
Yes, it seemed...
Did you say "kidnapped"?
Yes, we were bringing her to see you,
to confront you with the evidence...
Who kidnapped her?
- We've no idea.
- I must insist...
- Shut up!
- A man jumped out of a car.
There were some shots and poof.
- What do you mean, "poof"?
- She was gone.
With Captain Duvalle's best suit.
- What did you do about it?
- Well, we came to see you.
We thought you might shed
some light on the matter.
This is the bathroom.
Yep.
[Both muttering indistinctly]
[Knocking]
Major?
[Both shouting indistinctly]
[Conversing in French]
I'm here to see major Larrobee.
[Speaks in French]
Parle nothing.
Major Larrobee.
You... you...
I am silence!
[Speaking French poorly]
Let's go, T.C.
Just a minute.
- Vous Parle Francais?
- Now, do you speak English?
[Shouting in French]
You don't speak English.
What's the matter with you?
[Speaks in French]
"Soo"? What's "soo"?
[Speaks in French]
"Drunt"? Ah, don't worry.
Let's go T.C.
Ah, there you are.
[Shouting in French]
Just a minute, Mon garcon.
Au revoir.
Why don't you shoot?
He can't.
He doesn't have
the necessary authority.
Well, he was doing pretty well
earlier this evening.
Herr Kraus is not trying to kill me.
He has orders only to eliminate you,
but he cannot do that now.
Why not?
Because he knows that if he shoots you,
he will most certainly have to kill me.
Oh.
Don't underestimate me, Colonel.
I don't think I do.
Killing me without proper orders
would lead to a firing squad
or at the very least,
a general court-martial.
Shortly before we reach Switzerland,
I shall stop this train,
and we shall get off.
Then it is only a few hundred yards
from the German border.
Make yourself comfortable, my dear.
Try to relax.
(Kurt)
We have several hours to go, yet.
Unless I am provoked.
Oh, of course.
But why are we going to her house?
Because if she's a spy,
there is a very good chance
that the butler and the maid
are in league with her.
But why are we taking this road?
Don't be an idiot.
We must take them by surprise,
so we must enter by the back way.
[Glass shatters]
Hello?
Anybody here?
[Humming]
- Hello?
- Hello?
Hey!
[Cries out]
[Coughing]
I can't take you anyplace.
He forced me to order
Von Richthofen's squadron
to attack the train at dawn
before it reaches the Swiss border.
Then he wrecked the transmitter.
[Speaking German]
[Train whistle blowing]
Look.
[Gun firing]
[Train brakes squealing]
[People screaming]
[Guns firing]
[]
[People cheering]
(Lili)
Often I think
This sad old world
Is whistling in the dark
Just like a child
Who, late from school
Walks bravely home
Through the park
To keep their spirits soaring
And keep the night at bay
Neither quite knowing
Which way they are going
They sing the shadows away
Often I think
My poor old heart
Has given up
For good
And then I see
A brand new face
I glimpse some new neighborhood
So walk me back home
My darling
Tell me dreams really come true
Whistling
Whistling
Here in the dark
With you
So walk me back home
My darling
Tell me dreams really come true
Whistling
Whistling
Here in the dark
With you
[audience applauding]
[All cheering]
All:
It's a long way to Tipperary
It's a long way to go
It's a long way to Tipperary
To the sweetest girl I know
Goodbye, Piccadilly
Farewell, Leicester Square
It's a long, long way to Tipperary
But my heart's right there
It's a long way to Tipperary
It's a long way to go
It's a long to Tipperary
To the sweetest girl I know
Goodbye, Piccadilly
Farewell, Leicester Square
It's a long, long way to Tipperary
But my heart's right there
[People cheering]
Darling Lili
Put a light in the window
And keep wearing
That bonnie smile
On those cold railway benches
Or in the trenches
Warm up our hearts
Awhile
Darling Lili
Blow a kiss to us, dearie
As we travel
Each weary mile
Not for mother
Or each other
Are we off to
End this war
You're the darling
We'll be winning
It for
Smile away each rainy day
And laugh away your blues
Be like old Mr. Noah
When it starts to pour
Make fun of trouble
Although you're seein' double
Keep in mind they're silver-lined
Those gloomy clouds of gray
Let love light the sky up
Tell the clouds to dry up
And smile away each rainy day