De Break-Up Club (2024) Movie Script
Here. Right upon entering you have the coat rack.
No details, Edgar. I'm not going to hang up my coat.
Where are the stairs?
You walk straight ahead and then to the left, into the living room...
Check.
Where she sits. Or you go up the stairs on the right,
then it's at the top of the stairs to the left...
and then there is the door to our bedroom.
And Rambo?
He sits in his cubicle in the room next to my office.
Certainly?
Yes, he's on a leash. - On a leash?
Hey, you made a brave decision.
Is she ever violent?
Edgar.
It is very important right now to be honest with me.
Sometimes she throws things.
The candlestick is her favorite. - Check.
Two thousand.
But on your website... - This is a last minute job, Ed.
I haven't been able to do any research other than this little chat with you.
That is an increased risk.
Hey, the alternative is that not I, but you go in and...
She's killing me. - Exactly.
And you don't want that. - No.
That's why you called us. You want to live.
So the question we really need to ask ourselves is...
is your life worth two grand?
Yeah, 'outside' is a bit of a broad term, isn't it. Where outside?
Yes, but where are you?
Why don't you want to say that?
You just come home now...
and then you tell me why you were 15 minutes late from work.
Because you know I can't handle that.
And you know what else I can't stand? When you just walk out of the house...
without saying anything. Without saying where you're going,
know if you are in the area.
And if you can't do that, then you simply won't leave the house next weekend.
And don't start about those race cars.
Those friends of yours just watch without you. Race cars...
It's like I'm living with a child in the house. That's all fine,
but then I'll treat you like a child.
By the way, I'm going to tell you even better. That television over here... Yes.
That television stays off, because you're going with me...
Goddammit, what are you doing here? - Hey. Dylan. I came to talk to you.
I'm here on behalf of Edgar. Ask him.
Edgar.
There's a guy here. A bit of a slick guy in a blue suit. His name is Dylan.
And you sent him, he says. Is that right?
Just give it to me.
Ed. I'll take over from you from now on.
Look here. Did they have you tied up in a cage?
Did it go well? - Sure.
And now what?
Things are only going to get better from here. My agent is scheduling a follow-up meeting.
Stay strong, Ed.
Okay, guys. Are you up for a party?
Okay, what's the plan?
To the Maassilo, but it's sold out. - Xandra is working tonight. I'll fix something.
That took a long time. Was it difficult? - No. Routine job.
Hey. Look at this.
Cheers.
I haven't been completely honest with you about why we're here.
Why I took you to this beautiful place.
Your grandparents were here once too...
Exactly 65 years ago to the day.
And now we. And so...
We've known each other for five years now.
And... - Wait.
Lane.
Oh, my God. - What?
It's gonna happen. - No...
Wow. Hey... - Hey.
Okay.
Go on.
We've known each other for five years now.
And those five years were the best years of my life.
Guard.
This is not the right number.
Me, stop.
'Unforgettable', do you know it?
Unforgettable.
Okay.
So. - Yes, I had arranged with them...
that I finish my story first and then our song and wine.
Wine?
You want to propose to me with wine?
Sorry.
Yeah, oh. Hi. Yes, thank you.
Like this.
Okay.
Okay... Where were we?
I... - We've been together for five years now.
And.
We've known each other for a long time. - Yes.
I want to be with you for the rest of my life. - Yes.
So my dearest Zoe,
do you want to... with me? - Yes.
Do you want to... with me? - Yes.
Zo?
Forget it. Ignore it. - I can't ignore this.
Zoe, I'm not here for nothing. - No, she's not here for nothing.
Zo.
Ignore it. - I can't ignore this.
I can't do this...
Two.
Good morning, darling.
Hey babe. It was really fun, but I gotta run.
But we're definitely going to see each other soon, because you and I...
really click.
Sorry, but I don't speak Dutch.
Spanish?
Give me a hint. - Maradona.
Naples. Italian. Naturally.
Sofia.
Hey Sofia, I gotta go. I'm gonna take a shower first, okay?
Sofia...
Before.
Okay, 20 minutes, Dylan. Pace. Our client only has half an hour.
Why don't you answer your phone? You're all...
Hi. I'm Mick. Colleague of Dylan.
I'm coming to pick him up. He has an appointment.
And he's always late.
I don't understand you and I don't care.
Hey, dick. - Hey. No...
Come on, Dyl. Hurry up. Fifteen minutes.
And this one for on the road. O. Just a routine job.
Oh, man, it'll be fine. - Yeah.
I'll call you in a minute, yeah?
Ricardo. Are you okay? - Dylan.
How's the little one? - Sleepless nights, man.
Better you than me, dick. Talk to you soon. - Yo.
Dylan.
I spend 40 weeks a year in Japan, she thinks.
You can wait until you're "back", right? - I'll be back next week.
Then we go to a little castle where I have to ask her to marry me.
You planned that? - Planned...
as in: 'Honey, are you coming to the bakery?' -Check.
Plus, if I deliver the bad news myself, she won't accept it.
She doesn't accept anything that isn't in her planning.
Check. - And please emphasize...
that I am still in Japan. She is resentful.
I don't feel like her standing in front of my apartment tonight with a brick.
But she thinks you're in the Netherlands.
Unexpectedly back. I 'landed' two hours ago.
But I texted her that I wanted to meet up with her tonight.
Are you sure about this?
We don't do refunds if you change your mind and she is beautiful, intelligent...
You've been together for five years. - Besides the fact that she's a control freak,
I have another very good reason to quit.
I'd bet you a bottle of wine that you'd think it's a good reason too.
Tell me. - This conversation is part of our deal.
Important conversation that I will pay well for.
Check. - Nevertheless, you are distracted...
by the lady sitting diagonally behind me.
She's a beautiful girl.
But she's already taken.
Honey... - Okay, you got me.
Congratulations, dick. Let her join you.
She thinks this is a business meeting. She doesn't know anything about Zoe.
Check. One more thing. Do you think deep down she has a suspicion...
why you want to meet tonight?
He's going to propose to me tonight. - Who? Sven?
This evening?
I dreamed about it last night and out of the blue he is in the Netherlands.
Out of the blue he wants to meet. He doesn't do anything out of the blue.
No, you knocked that out, didn't you?
He's in Japan, isn't he? - He's back out of the blue.
And he never does anything out of the blue. - I don't quite understand the problem.
Isn't this what you want? Getting married?
If not, you can say no. You can just say no. Just say no.
Wow, Laan, I want to. - Can you turn?
But just not on a Monday night, just not here in Rotterdam.
That's just not what we... - What you agreed on?
This is just really inconvenient. I have a busy schedule today.
Are you okay? - Yes. Sorry.
I was shocked. Its my fault. Fuck.
Sorry, Lysette. I'm just going to put you on the floor for a second, okay?
Jesus, man. - Sorry. It was my fault.
I was in a hurry and... Fuck.
No, of course. Can I give you a ride?
Yes. Well, do you happen to pass by Caf Binnenweg?
Yes, coincidentally, I...
I have to go that way. - Okay, great.
Like this.
Let me just put your iPad over there, okay?
Like this.
Yes, I'm in a bit of a hurry.
And...
Funny. I have that bag too.
Bought in Tel Aviv. - Coincidence.
Yeah, I've never seen anyone else who has that bag.
O, shit. Lysette. Oh, sorry.
Yeah, no, something went, well, wrong.
Yes, this will definitely be in next week.
Okay, thank you, Lysette. Bye.
Sorry, interview. I'm a journalist. Slash columnist.
Look at that.
And you? What do you do?
I'll tell you next time. We're here.
Really tiptop on time. Maybe my next column will be about you...
Dylan. - Zoe.
Who knows, maybe next time, Dylan. - Yeah, who knows.
Hey.
Monica. - Dylan.
Hi, Zoe. Can I have a minute?
Oh, sorry, no... Sorry, I have an appointment.
Yes. You have that with me. I am here on behalf of Sven.
Sven is still in Japan.
No, Sven is in town, because I have an appointment with Sven...
so are you going to sit somewhere else or am I? I find this awkward.
I see. I'll get straight to the point.
Sven loves you.
That's right.
He loves you, but in Nagoya he had time to think...
and he realized that the fire, what made your relationship so special,
is extinguished.
He would like to continue with you, in the long term, but as good friends.
Hey, Sven, it's me.
There's some idiot sitting across from me who's talking some really weird language.
Can you call me back?
Honey, would you call me? Thanks.
I understand that it is a blow, but know that you are not alone.
There's no point in calling. Sven has another number.
If you ever want to talk to someone...
A psychologist, specialized in coping after a break-up.
And Sven told me that you really like movies.
A cinema voucher for you and, for example, your friend Lana.
And with this dinner gift card you can eat at your favorite caf, De Nieuwe Maas.
Sorry, I really don't believe this.
You have the key to his apartment. I have to take it.
A key with an orange cap.
Okay. Suppose all of this is true...
then I would never give you that key? There are some things of mine there.
Yes, I know. And in exchange for that key, I have those things with me.
Okay.
I would like to pay. - Put it on my account.
This one is on the house.
It's okay.
And.
Hey, Zootje. - Hey, Laan. Do you have a minute?
I just got in a hot tub with three fucking hot guys, but you know what,
you go first, so tell me.
I believe it's over. - Over?
With Sven. It's over. Or, well, something like that.
I know you're dancing around the room with your fists clenched right now...
because you hate Sven and are happy that we can be single together, but I...
I feel really shitty, Laan. - Oh, I'm just sitting on the couch, you know.
Okay. - But,
now i'm getting up, because we're just going to do something fun. Right?
See you in ten minutes? You know where.
Yes.
Hey boy, everything good? Huh?
Guests.
Gabber.
Hey...
Cheers.
Can we have two more?
I see him. There.
Lane, wow...
Say it. Sven is a dick.
Oh, my God, Laan.
Hey. - Hey, good morning.
Are you going to make yourself a cup of tea?
De Break-Up Club.
There you go. - Catchy, yes.
So. - Thanks.
Holy shit. Is dit hem?
Well, he can dump me really hard sometime.
Well naked and... - Yes.
at night and... - Lane. It's Tuesday morning, right?
Shouldn't we be so positive about him? - 'Professional, committed...
and decisive.'
"I am free from my toxic relationship."
I should have done it sooner. Okay.
'Dylan is a master...' He profits from suffering.
I'll tell you, not any time soon. - Oh no. No, you're not going to do this.
I know what you're planning.
You are so indignant that you are going to write a revenge column. Yes or yes?
No. The column is already down.
Yeah, what's the problem? It's fiery and it's spicy.
It's a cheap settlement. This is totally unworthy of Momo.
This is mudslinging.
So he can ruin my life, but I can't ruin his?
Okay, it's just an idea, right? You can just tackle Sven, right?
It's Sven's turn when he returns from Japan.
Trix, I want this column posted.
And I demand that, now that I'm in trouble, you stand by my side.
If you say 'no', fine. Then there will be another magazine that wants my column.
Like this.
You, my sweet little homebody. You to another magazine?
Zo, yes... You were already upset when Zo was not on page 16, but on page 18.
Page 20. And I wasn't upset, but my readers were upset.
Definitely Zo, definitely page 16. My readers like stability.
And of well-researched stories.
I don't mind if you want to destroy that company with your sharp pen,
but you do that under my conditions. Namely by means of...
An in-depth journalistic article about your wonderful company.
Sorry, but I don't think we're here... - No, tell me. I'm curious.
We are willing to conduct an interview if necessary.
An interview? I want to tag along for a few days.
The conversations we have are private. We don't want people in there...
who have nothing to do with it. - Because he does have to do with it...
with the relationship between me and Sven.
I get the feeling that your article is becoming an act of revenge.
You can say no. Then I will write about my experiences...
and experiences of others who have been dumped by you on behalf of their partner.
FYI... this is the magazine I write for.
Momo, hip and happening for the modern woman.
Here you see an example of an article I wrote...
about restaurant Krooswijk.
This is the card from my colleague Lana...
who can tell you more about me, my working methods and my reputation.
And this is my card with my number that you can call...
if you have made a decision. Are there any questions?
Oh, well, I do have a few... - You say Momo is hip and happening,
but you come up with an article about a restaurant that went bankrupt.
After writing this article about the chef's loose hands.
So don't wait too long to make your decision. My deadline is Friday.
And I'll definitely meet my deadline.
Day.
I don't know, but I really don't think we should do this.
"We"? 'Cause you're coming too? - Yes.
Do you hear that? He's coming too. - This is my company too, isn't it?
She's going to write us to pieces. - Sure, yes.
Did you see those eyes? - This.
What? - You always do this.
What? - Just relax for once.
Huh? I'm gonna fix this. - Yeah, how?
I take her with me for a day and show her how important this work is.
That I help. She's gonna be glad she met me.
We.
Pay attention. She will write a nice admiring article about us soon. Yes?
We're only going to come out of this better. Cheers.
The more I think about it, the more I like it.
You and me on the road, so that I can keep you and your readers informed...
And readers.
I also have many readers.
You don't believe me.
Of course. When you say you have many readers, I believe you immediately.
You don't seem like the type to sell bullshit.
I would like to show you readers...
that I do my work with love. - You do your work with love.
Please explain.
I carefully prepare every conversation.
Do you mind if I record it? I also like to do my work carefully.
No, I don't. Am I speaking calmly and clearly enough?
I just want to portray you as you really are.
Your true self, so talk like you normally do.
Or like that one time in the cafe when you treated me without any compassion,
pushed further down the drain purely out of financial self-interest.
So...
You do your work with love. Tell.
To start with, I create a file for everyone with whom I have an exit interview.
An exit interview? - Oh, absolutely.
I don't make any hasty decisions.
You have a file on me? - On everyone.
Even the last minute jobs. - Wow, can you imagine...
that I find this annoying? - It was not a pleasant conversation.
Indeed. - You think I'm a jerk as a messenger.
That's right. - But be honest...
If Sven had done this, it would have been a shitty conversation too.
Then it would have been a conversation,
not a communication from one person to another through an intermediary.
'Intermediate'... Chic.
Do you mind if I put that on my business card? Thanks.
Hi. I'm looking for the Break-Up Club office.
That should be on this number. Is that above or am I completely wrong?
Well, no, there's only a gym up there.
Ja, dat is hier. - Is it?
This, yes, this... This is the office.
O. Okay, great. Well, hi. I'm Lana van Kessel's colleague.
I... No, that's not right. I'm Zo Lomans' colleague, from Momo Magazine.
O. - Yes. And I am Lana van Kessel myself.
Two. - Hey. Hello.
Oh yeah, I'm hot, aren't I? You're hot too. It's... It's hot in here.
Sorry. I'm Mick. - Hi.
Hi. Mick Hansen.
The founder of the Break-Up Club.
Well, I'm Lana and I'm a photographer, so I'm adding the pictures to the article.
Pictures? - Yes, the pictures.
Nothing was said about photos.
That's because it seems pretty obvious to me that they belong.
Or do you know a glossy without photos?
I'm still processing the fact that they call this their office.
Do you guys pay rent too? - Yeah, man.
Can you come and stand here? Over there.
There? - Yes.
Yes, good.
Can you look into the lens? Yes.
And laugh.
Kun is... Me.
Let's see...
Nice.
And...
What's up? - We don't really do photos.
Yeah, man. You look great. - Okay.
And I have also already agreed that I will go with your colleague to Zo tomorrow.
But... You agreed that with my colleague?
No, with Zoe.
Yes, no, we don't do that.
Look, we value our privacy, and especially that of our clients, very highly.
Very, very high.
Okay. Too bad. - Yes.
Shame.
If you change your mind and you would like to discuss something together...
or weigh the pros and cons or something... - Yeah?
Dan, I, the kun is...
Here. That's my work number and my private number.
Okay.
So I also record in the evenings.
Oh, how. - What?
Yes, of course.
Maybe we shouldn't say you're a journalist, but my intern.
You want me to lie?
I want you to keep quiet about it. That's something else.
A bit like cheating. You don't have to say sorry until it's discovered.
Are you always like this? - Look it up in my file.
Okay. Tell the truth. But if you get sent away, don't look at me.
Why on earth are you meeting here?
For privacy reasons.
And let's be honest... this is how you get somewhere.
Aren't you nervous? You're about to ruin someone's life.
Don't be so dramatic.
I close a door, but I open a window to a new future.
You're still alive, right?
By the way, this is not a break-up, but an intake.
I always have a preliminary discussion with my clients.
Part of building the file.
A chat with a coward who wants to get rid of his wife.
From her husband.
There you will have her.
Just wait a minute.
Maybe we should be careful with Lotte today, okay?
Hello. - Hello.
And you are?
I'm Zoe. A journalist at Momo...
columnist of Sowieso Zo, anyway page 16.
I don't read women's magazines. - It's for men too.
I am not a man.
I'm writing an article about Dylan and the fact that there are people like you,
who don't have the guts to end their relationship.
Is it okay if I stay? - Well...
I will use a pseudonym and will write everything in such a way that you are unrecognizable.
So my first question is... - Zoe,
You want to leave your husband. Why don't you say it yourself?
It causes a fuss. My husband doesn't do well with bad news.
Who? Is it really that hard to just sit down together...
and to say you don't want anymore? - Very difficult.
Explain yourself further.
It's risky.
Just to be clear, who is writing your article?
Me. - And who's conducting the conversations again?
You. - Very good. We can switch too, right?
That you conduct the conversations and I write,
but it's one or the other, so we'll have to make a choice.
I understand that it was scary.
I probably should have warned you. - Yeah.
Are you coming to sit down? I have to call Mick. It's in my agenda.
You don't know what's next on your agenda?
No. Sorry, I'm really starting to feel anxious...
if I know in the morning what I have to do in the evening. Don't you?
No. - Hey, Dylan. Well? How did it go?
Yeah, fine. - Nice.
Really lucky that I could bring that appointment forward, huh?
That blue eye must have made an impression on Zo too.
Or not?
Dylan. I'm not on speakerphone, am I?
Yes.
Hey, Zoe. How are you? - Hi, Mick.
Well, I was also able to bring up Lotte's ex, but that's tomorrow.
You'll have another chat later. Five minutes drive from where you are now.
Yeah. Absolutely fantastic, fantastic. Thank you. - You're welcome, right? Okay...
So handy. Mick always tries to cluster all my appointments.
He really is a rock in the surf. - Yes.
Milou is breaking up with me?
Dear?
With me?
I see it comes as a shock. - A shock? Do you see me start?
Know that you are not alone. - So Milou pays you to do this.
Yeah, but that's not the point. - I pay you...
to break up with Milou.
That's not how it works. - How much does she pay?
That's between me and my client. - I pay double.
Nice, but I can't accept your offer...
What is this? - It's not mine.
Oh, that's strange, because he's not mine either.
Okay.
Maybe someone should record him?
Well, I'll do it.
Dylan.
Ah, let me just ask.
Sven. I have a Sven on the line. Does anyone know a Sven?
I'm looking for a Sven. Sven.
That's my phone. Sorry, I was shifting. Thanks.
Hey, sweetie.
Oh. Hi.
Okay, where were we? - No.
Seriously, what are you doing to me? - I'm doing something to you?
You're doing something to me.
Hello. Were you even paying attention?
Imagine if she found out... - What is this? Are you working together?
Nee.
Set? - No.
She is making a report.
I thought it would be better if she wasn't there and recorded the conversation. My bad.
No, it's my fault. Sorry, let me introduce myself. I'm Zoe.
Anyway Zoe, definitely page 16. And I won't use your conversation.
Yes, you can. Do you have enough content?
Background information? More on how I feel about this?
My side of the story? Should we chat sometime?
Okay, yes, I'd love to.
Tonight? At my place. Wine with it...
Sorry. You just got dumped. - I didn't get dumped.
Milou gets dumped. - Check.
So, Anyway, what do you say?
I think I have enough content.
Are you sure?
Okay. Hey, maybe we shouldn't do this for a while.
You don't know what you're missing.
I told you so? The type that knows what she wants.
I must say, she has good taste.
Okay. Sorry.
I should have turned that thing off. - Apology accepted.
Saying that Sven called was a shit move. - I know.
And not very smart either, since I now hate you even more.
So if I were you, I would just say 'sorry'.
Sorry then, Zoe.
Well, this time, say it like you really mean it.
Sorry, Zoe.
Dank is... Dylan.
Actually, it's quite nice, isn't it? That I drop you off at your favorite caf.
Whether I want to put that in my article too... - For the complete picture.
Do you think there is an interesting article in there?
Oh, sure. Sure.
Do you look at my work differently?
Oh, certainly not. Certainly not.
But who knows, maybe that will change tomorrow. What time and where?
I won't know until tomorrow morning. - This is making me so irritable.
But I know it's made well. I'll pick you up.
Check. - And I'll bring you coffee.
I'd guess an espresso macchiato.
How do you know that?
Really... Fucking dossier...
Dylan, good that you called. I just read a super sweet, enthusiastic email...
from a very grateful client. - Don't bother, bro. She's gone.
O. So, how did it go?
I dropped her off nicely and now I'm in the mood for beer and pizza. You?
We're having dinner. - Does it have to be now?
It's business, Dylan, so yeah. In fifteen minutes at caf De Nieuwe Maas.
Oh no. No.
Yes.
Huh? But he just dropped me off here. Why?
'What do you mean?' I went to Mick's this afternoon, but Mick was being difficult, so what do I do?
I give him my number.
You invited Zoe... - Yes.
And she agrees? - No, Lana agrees.
Work?
A colleague of hers with whom I have some making up to do.
Wait, a colleague of Zoe's?
And really after an hour he calls me and says we need to talk about it.
She wanted photos to go with the article. I said that was not possible.
Privacy, blah, blah, blah. She was quite angry about that.
I think: this cold has to come out of the air. I'll take her out to dinner.
Well, with Dylan there, because it concerns him too,
so I say, 'Yeah, fine, but then also with Zoe.' Ah.
Me alone with a woman, that doesn't work. That's why we're going with four.
The three of us. - No, the four of us.
Zoe really doesn't agree with this. She calls this...
Pure manipulation. And you will see, they insist on paying the bill.
Well, isn't that romantic? - No, Laan, that's bribery.
Yeah, listen, what is this? As if its all so bad.
As if it's so bad to be out with someone who's fucking hot.
Admit it's hot. Or only in pictures?
No, he's also fucking hot, but that's the problem. He knows it himself.
Two. - Hey.
Hi. Lana. - Dylan.
From Lana... - Ha.
Okay. Well, heard a lot about you.
Hey. - Two.
You were in the middle of a story so please continue.
Yes, we... - Waiter.
The waiter, yes. The waiter. We were talking about the waiter. A conceited little man.
Good evening. - Thank you.
I see it.
Yeah, I just ordered some stuff. I thought, that's handy.
There.
Well, that's nice. - Yeah, nice.
All.
Oh yeah, first of all I want to apologize for our phone call...
in the car. About Lotte.
It's okay. It's okay.
Laan, you don't even know what this is about.
And sorry, apologies and all this, unfortunately, is not going to help.
No, but just sorry.
So you guys are the Break-Up Club together?
And.
Dylan and I. Me and Dylan. We... So...
Hey, do you actually know how the Break-Up Club started?
Nee.
Wow. Are we really going to talk about this?
I'm actually very curious. - Yes?
Yeah. - Yeah. Yeah, me too.
Well, I was in a relationship, but I was miserable...
and Dylan, who's known me all my life, he saw that...
and he also saw that I didn't dare to break up with him.
She was quite bossy.
Ugh, ugh. - Yes, really.
And then he broke up with me.
Really? - Yes.
Wow, that's fantastic. - Yeah.
And after that? - Lane.
Were you completely happy again after that? - Yes, much happier.
It can always be better of course. - Yes. I understand exactly what you mean.
Okay, cool.
Hey, and then we thought: well, we can make a lot more people happy...
because that's the real purpose of the Break-Up Club. To make people happy.
Yes. Beautiful. Beautifully spoken.
Personally, I can't really say that I'm happy after my conversation.
But she wasn't before either. Luckily.
Wow, what the fuck, Laan? - Well, it's true, isn't it?
Wow. Sorry, I... I really don't feel like doing this at all.
What time tomorrow? - Half past nine.
Okay, will you make sure Dylan is at my door?
So... Zoe. - You have to be there tomorrow at half past nine...
I heard it too. - Okay. It's like this...
Sorry. I... I should have prepared her better for this kind of thing.
She doesn't really like surprises, so... - And you? Do you like surprises?
Yeah. I'm glad you asked. - Oh, cool.
Very much so. - Yes. Me too.
Guys, sorry to interrupt, but it's been a long day...
and I have to get up early tomorrow, so I'm going to wind down. But,
good evening. This is going to be just fine. Yes.
Wait a minute, man. - No. You got this.
Zo, just to be clear, I didn't know about the dinner either.
No, me neither, otherwise I would have stopped it. Oh. Taxi.
Hello.
Fuck.
Tiring, huh? A whole day on the road with me.
Look, I don't know what Mick's motives are...
but Lana has been through a lot. I don't wish her another broken heart.
Not all men are assholes, Zoe. - No, because Mick is the exception.
Mick is the exception. I am not, but nevertheless this bastard wants to...
you better take me home.
If that's allowed.
Me calling you fucking delicious didn't mean anything.
You're not my type.
Okay. I'll add it to your file.
And speaking of which, according to your file you're crazy about pita gyros...
and I just happen to know the tastiest gyros tent in all of Rotterdam.
Maybe we can grab a bite to eat together.
Dylan, can you give me a ride?
I do want to go home. Don't you? - Yeah, me too.
Well, there goes my pita gyros.
Right on time.
Yes. - But you must have forgotten the coffee.
You mean this one? That's Mick. He's sending you today's schedule.
Because you get so cranky without an agenda. - Thank you, Dylan.
Well, it's been a busy day. We start today at the supermarket and we end...
I don't want to know. I just want to know where we're going now.
Sorry, 'and-and-and'?
Can I just finish my sentence?
I find it really annoying when I'm not allowed to finish my sentence.
Okay.
Where do we end up? - We end up...
in a high school.
A break-up, then? - Definitely.
Lotte's husband. The one with the black eye. - Yes, I remember her.
Why school?
He is a teacher and at his workplace he will keep his hands to himself.
He has ten-minute conversations and we are going to surprise him with a visit.
It's the first time that I enjoy going to school.
Honestly, I continue to be amazed at how much you enjoy this.
I help Lotte out of a difficult situation and make her and therefore the world happier.
Oh, wow. You really deserve a medal.
Now that you mention it... Maybe you can nominate me.
I don't think so. It's still an easy way to earn...
to other people's suffering. - Easy? Is that your conclusion?
Yes. Teaching, that's hard.
And writing columns too, I suppose? - Quite a bit, yes.
Yes. So what I can do, anyone can. - Definitely.
Great. Then you can do this one.
Are you coming?
Okay.
Like this.
How long have I got? - Fifteen minutes.
Enough for the most important details.
Go do something nice for yourself. Or be nice and get me a drink.
Fair enough. Let me guess.
It's a weekday after 7pm.
You want herbal tea.
She's such a bore. Super neurotic.
Everything according to plan, everything according to the rules, everything according to the agenda.
People think, oh, Zoe. What a nice lady she is.
Hey, because she writes so passionately, so fiery.
On paper maybe, yes, she is passionate,
but in reality she even schedules when we have sex.
My 80-year-old neighbor has an even more exciting life.
She is a robot.
Sorry, the cafeteria is closed. They only had coke from the machine.
But you don't like coke, do you? - No, no problem. Nice.
Yes, that's something different.
Zoe, listen. Keep it concise, businesslike. Band-aid off and move on, okay?
And.
Have a nice evening.
You guys are here for a ten-minute conversation? - No.
Well, it won't take more than ten minutes.
And whose parents are you?
Yes. We are here on behalf of Lotte.
And I'm also here as a journalist, for the sake of completeness.
Of course, I won't mention any names in my article.
Sorry, what's this about? Lotte? - Your wife.
Yes, I know who Lotte is, but why are you starting about her?
We recently had a good conversation with her.
Or, well, okay...
Touching. And in it she told us...
that she is very unhappy in your relationship.
Lotte spoke to you guys? About us?
I'll give her a call. - Well, don't do that.
Just listen for a moment.
You're in my classroom, you're talking about my wife and my relationship...
and now you're going to forbid me to call my own wife in my own room?
Who are you? - Well, I'm Zo Lomans.
Definitely Zoe, definitely page 16.
And you and I are in the same boat...
since I had exactly the same conversation with him.
Which boat and which conversation? - My relationship is also on hold.
Mine is not on hold. - Well.
What's this about? - There's no reason...
to react so aggressively. In fact, your aggressiveness is the problem.
If you don't leave now, I'll call the police.
Will you also tell them what you did to Lotte, you sad sack?
Okay, can I take over from you for a moment?
To sit.
Lotte is packing her bags because she never wants to see you again.
She didn't dare to tell that. That's why we do it.
Do I need to explain why not? I don't think so, do I?
Here. The number of a psychologist.
Anger management is his specialty. My tip: call him.
And I have another tip for you. You keep on in every possible way...
away from Lotte.
If not, we won't come and visit you next time,
but people in a blue uniform. And then I wouldn't throw chocolate milk.
Shame on you, man.
Hey. - Are you okay?
Yes. No, sorry.
It doesn't look good. Take my shirt. - No... That's fine.
Go ahead. - Yes?
Really, yes.
We need to score a shirt for you. - No need. I'm prepared for anything.
And if I read your file correctly, that is something...
what makes you very happy.
I'm afraid I'll have to put you on the train after all.
Early tomorrow morning I have a job in Friesland, so Mick has booked a hotel for me.
Then I'll come along.
Really? - Yes.
Okay.
I hope they have a room available. Mick booked just for me.
On Wednesday evening in the province.
If they don't have an extra room there, I'll eat your shoe.
Okay.
Please.
My left shoe or my right shoe?
Maybe we should draw lots. Who gets the bed and who gets the chair.
If I sleep there, I won't sleep and I'll be working on that article all night.
Okay. Another plan.
North Korea, South Korea, border.
So you sleep there.
Because I am North Korea. If you keep doing this, you will get something back.
This. This is what I mean. If I say or do something you don't like...
then reprisals will follow.
North Korea.
I'm going to take a shower. Enjoy your meal.
Hey.
This is Sven's voicemail. Leave a message and I'll call you back.
Sven, it's me.
I thought, maybe we could talk sometime. That would be nice.
Shame on you, Dylan said, standing up...'Hey.
'...didn't even look at the man and left the classroom. The teacher...'
That's private. - I'll still get to read it, won't I?
And it's not finished yet.
You keep your hands off other people's stuff anyway. Fucking antisocial.
Dylan - Did you give her my number?
Sorry?
Zoe has my new number. - Impossible.
She just called me, so she has my new number.
I didn't give it to her. No one around me,
so the only one left is you.
Hello? Talk. - I don't know what you're talking about.
Zoe keeps stalking, calling, emailing. I didn't pay for this.
She hopes it will be okay. Can she? - 'Can she'? How do you know?
Because I... - Because you what?
I still speak to her. She is writing an article about the Break-Up Club.
My condolences on your upcoming bankruptcy.
Tell her not to call anymore. - I don't know if she...
Solve it.
Funny. Normally you're gone in the evenings and Dylan is at the bar.
Yeah, he's on the road again. And I...
Just one more? - Nice. And have one for yourself.
Calm down. Okay.
Master Lana.
Hey. Met Mick. - Oh, hey, Mick.
From the Break-Up Club. - Huh? Yeah, from the... Yeah, I know.
Yeah, hey. Hey, I'm just calling about that photoshoot.
That's going ahead, right? - No, because of privacy and all that.
Yeah, you already said that, yeah. - Yeah.
But I didn't say you shouldn't take it personally.
No? - No.
We would...
I would very much like to work with you, but under different circumstances.
That's really... That's really, really nice to hear.
That also applies to us mutually. To me.
Well, maybe we can... - And maybe we can...
Oh, sorry. Go ahead. You're... - Okay, well...
You want to say something, right? - Can we talk about it?
Should we... - Honey, one for you and one for me.
Ja, cheers. - Cheers.
O. You're already in company.
Yeah. Well, no, I'm... I'm not in company...
Never mind. - No.
It doesn't matter. It really doesn't matter. It's really not that bad. Me too.
Ah, my appointment just came in. Hi. - Your...
So I have to hang. Okay. Bye, Mick. - Yeah, have a nice evening.
Doeg.
What...
Hi. You wanted to order?
Should we just skip this indignant part?
Outraged?
We're even. You're just as bad as me.
I snooped through your laptop and you snooped through mine.
Not at all. You have my permission... - Sven just called me.
That you called him on his new number that was in your file...
on my laptop.
Okay. Fine. Then we're even. Congratulations, Dylan.
Was he angry? Or is he sorry?
Now is not the time for that. - Oh, no.
Of course, now is not the time for that.
Hi, Dylan. It's hard, isn't it, being honest?
Here you go. - Thank you.
Sven is in the Netherlands.
For a while now.
He has a new girlfriend. Chantal.
For about six months now.
And you knew that? - Yeah. I... I wasn't supposed to tell.
Tyfushond.
Sorry.
Not you. Him.
Well, you too, by the way.
Why are you so attached to that guy? He's a dick.
Well, he's a dick too.
But yeah, I'd grow old with that dick.
It.
My grandfather gave that ring to my grandmother when they met.
I'll marry you later, he said.
And 65 years ago he proposed...
in a small castle in the Ardennes...
and an orchestra played their favorite song.
Unforgettable.
And she said yes, of course.
They had three children. Sixteen grandchildren.
The perfect life.
My grandfather died three years ago and my grandmother a few days after that.
And she left me this...
because I always thought it was such a, yeah, sweet story.
And because she wished me the same...
with Sven.
I think you're much better off without that guy.
Yes, I actually think so too.
How are you actually doing? Are you in a relationship?
Oh, no. No.
Well, it almost sounds like you find it gross.
Well? Love?
Don't be so silly.
Oh yes, I hear you. I pour my heart out and the gentleman is all ears...
and I ask you one little personal question...
and boom, the shutters close.
Okay. What do you want to know?
Have you ever been in love?
Very often.
Real?
But it usually doesn't last longer than one night.
There are so many beautiful women on this planet.
Well, that clears up a lot.
I'll put it in your file.
My file?
I have a file on you...
with facts that I may or may not add to your article.
Good night, South. - Good night, North.
Wow.
Hey. Did you sleep well?
Yes. You?
Before.
What time is our first appointment? I...
I mean, with all due respect to your shirt, but...
I would like to buy something new.
He's just so looking forward to today.
Luuk is such a sensitive guy when you get to know him better,
but he also has another side.
Okay. And why don't you do it yourself?
When I see tears, and I'm going to see them, because he seems tough,
but secretly he is very emotional, yes, then I still give in.
Listen, Tessa. - And?
It just sounds like you love him very much.
Yes, I do that too.
But I just don't know if that's enough for him.
Are you absolutely sure about this?
Certainly.
You only get married once. With full conviction.
We're just in a bit of a hurry.
Yeah, no, of course.
Okay, when is the wedding?
Today.
Yeah, sure, but I mean more what time is the...
In fifteen minutes.
So, okay. - Okay, well...
Then I'll go. - Well, I...
Yes, I almost don't dare to ask, but...
I've never been in a limo before. - Well...
He's there now. Yeah, man, take it with you.
Nice.
It'll be fine.
'Half past three drinks on the square, four o'clock ceremony at the centre spot...
in the stadium where the lovers met.'
Stadium?
Half an hour late.
That's fucking unbelievable, man?
One, two. Test. One, two.
Lee, is it okay if it takes a little longer?
Well, I was still going to go shopping with my wife...
so I would say, take your time.
The families are already on the field.
Can you sing a song now? - I'll do my best.
My lawn is going to hell. - Your lawn?
We're groundskeepers here. - Whoa, whoa. Groundskeepers.
Of the most beautiful lawn in the world. - Certainly.
Hey, there she is, man.
Guys, come on. Now. Pace. Now. Yo.
Come on, pace. Now. Everyone.
Well, you wanted a wedding? Here's your wedding.
Maybe it would be nice if you could handle this.
Is a nice ending for your article. - I'm okay.
Tessa.
Chief. If I tap the limo, you can drive a little further, okay?
We can also just go. Step on the gas and we'll be back on the A16 in no time.
In ten years we'll be able to laugh out loud about this.
Shut up, Lee. It's not her.
I... Hey, man. I'm looking for the groom.
That's me.
Luke?
Yes, Luke.
Is she in that car or not? - Who are you?
And where is Tessa?
Hey, it ain't her, man. - Hey, leave her alone.
Who is she then? - Guest...
Hey.
Can we talk in private? - No need. We have no secrets.
Where is Tessa?
And...
Maybe it would be more convenient... - Say what you have to say, buddy.
Tessa doesn't want to get married anymore.
What? - Not getting married anymore?
I'm sorry. She's not coming.
Hey, idiot. - Fucker.
Terrible smooth-talker.
Luke.
Wait a minute. - Stop it.
This is no use. She's not going to pick up.
How do you know? She ran off with you?
No, man, you don't understand. - I don't understand?
I don't understand.
Listen. This floor pig says that Tessa doesn't want to marry me. Why?
Hey, listen, guys. I barely know her either. Right?
I'm just delivering a message.
She's crazy about you. She really does, she loves you, but she just doesn't want to commit yet.
Well, do you have any questions?
Do I have any questions? - Yes.
No. But I do have a message for you.
Hold him.
Well, first I'll break your legs, then you and I will go get Tessa together...
and then Tessa and I are getting married.
Then we'll hang you like those fucking cans behind the car.
I do my job. I'm a professional.
Perhaps we can look for a compromise.
I can go talk to Tessa if you want. Then we can weigh the pros and cons.
You're not going to discuss anything with...
Get the hell out of here. - Run after that truck.
They run away.
Then from. - Hey, kloothommel.
Goddammit.
Dirty fucking idiot.
Trekking goat
Ah, fuck. - Stay where you are, you wimp. Hey.
Zo.
Erin. Now.
Hey. - Drive. Move.
Hey.
I will never take on a last minute job again.
Don't be such a wimp. That's an adventure, isn't it?
Do you think you have enough content for your article?
Almost. I'm still curious where you live.
This is also a portrait about you.
Let's have a drink afterwards to round it off.
Don't have a deadline to meet today?
So this is where you take all your women.
Or do you sometimes go with them?
Do we really have to talk about other women?
I want to know everything about you, you know.
Okay. Sometimes with me, sometimes with her, or them.
'She'... Sigh.
Really... - Hey.
Pretender.
So, what's your secret?
How do you do it? - Do I do what?
Courting ladies, Dylan.
What is your modus operandi?
M'n method of operation?
I don't have that. It's not an act, Zoe.
Okay. So what is it?
Teach it to me.
Show me how.
Dylan,
decorate me.
I can't.
Why not?
Because I'm not fun?
Fine. Then I'm done with my research. - That's not it.
You're really cool and you know it.
I've got moves, opening lines, tricks, jokes, looking away, looking back.
I know exactly how to charm a woman.
But with you I can't.
Why not?
Because it's fake.
And what I feel for you is real.
With you I really just want to be myself.
That...
You're doing really well. I almost fell for it.
We...
come on with your tour.
Good.
Well, kitchen,
bathroom, living room,
bedroom.
Hello.
Did you sleep well? - Yes, but I'm missing my necklace.
Are you leaving?
I should have left already. I... I have a breakfast appointment.
Don't act so disappointed. We both know what this was.
What was it then?
Dylan is always in love, but it never lasts longer than a night.
I have a file on you too, remember?
It was fun.
You haven't answered your phone since yesterday afternoon.
Thats right. Tough job.
Yeah, yeah. I just saw Zoe walk away, you know.
What have you done?
That's none of your business. - Well, if you just had sex...
and now you don't hear from her again. She doesn't like that.
You don't even know her. - She's writing an article about us now, right?
Yeah? About you, about me. If she thinks we're screwing her, we can forget it.
We don't do that at all, do we? - Then show it.
Give her a call. Be nice. At least until that piece is published.
That's gross, Mick. - You know what's gross? Fucking.
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
All the time.
And don't let anyone hear from you.
Like this.
You need to start your own sex life before you start interfering with mine.
Keys.
Do you know why you are so obsessed with your work?
Because you have nothing else.
Get a life, Mick.
I'm going to take a shower.
Hello? Is this fun for tomorrow?
And.
What, no? - Yes.
Isn't that nice? Or should I wear this?
Hi, what's wrong with you? Trix said you missed your deadline.
She was really panicking and everything. So she really thought you were dead.
Yes, it was really intense.
I was with Dylan.
Nee.
No? - No.
Yes.
Me. Okay. - Me?
Was it... No?
Did he... or did he just... - We're not going to talk about that here.
We're not going to talk about it. - No.
There are so many nice men in the world. - Yes.
So now you're going to go wild with all those cute guys.
Certainly.
What is that?
Received from Mick.
Wow. - Cool, huh? Very ugly though.
At least, I find him quite ugly, but also so fucking cute.
He's also coming to the drinks tomorrow. With Dylan.
So I thought, I'll put this on. I like it. But if you don't like it...
I'll have another glass of wine. Thirsty...
Two.
Mick.
Dylan.
Are they here yet?
Hey.
Where's Zoe? - What?
Zoe. - Zoe. She's not here.
Can I... - Where is she then?
Yes, it's at some little castle or something, in the Ardennes.
She was kind of stuck or something and really needed to get out.
Then something else about being free and that you taught her that.
And that she is grateful to you for that, or something.
Hey. - Two.
Welcome to Momo. - Thanks. Thank you.
You are really beautiful. Beautiful building. - Yes. Yes, right? Yes. Thank you...
Yeah. - Or something.
You work here? - Yes.
So... - Yeah.
Welcome, everybody. It's great that you've all come.
I would really like to call Dylan out for a moment.
Dylan, come on over.
Our cover story this month is about a very special company.
Yes, we can call it that, namely your...
I'm gonna go get us some champagne. - Yeah.
Company.
Zo and Dylan have been out together for a few days...
and I have to say, the stories don't lie.
And that's why I would really like to say to you, Dylan...
want to hand over the very first copy.
Dylan, I've read very good things about you.
Yes, of course you are better off alone.
For humans there are two options.
Or you already realize that the relationship is not going well...
and then my bad news message doesn't come out of the blue...
and isn't it bad news, because your relationship was already bad.
Or you don't even realize that things aren't going so smoothly...
and that really is a reason to break, since the partners are not leveling.
Really. You know, it's so easy.
"Oh, we're not leveling, so I'm just going to call it a day."
Do you even know what love is? - Well?
Love, that is not just happiness, the passion, the warmth, complementing each other. No.
Love, that is... - Is a verb.
This. I can see you looking again, you know.
'Ah, clich. Zo, boring roofing pigeon.' Prima, so be it.
Your coffee. - Exactly, my coffee. Bye, Dylan.
I have to go.
Ah, we, Dylan...
Last minute job. - 'What's new', you might say.
Yes, but... - Cheers to love.
Cheers.
Hey. A last minute job? How come I don't know anything about that?
I don't want to be here. You can stay.
No. I still have some work to do on the website, so...
We're gonna be busy. All new customers. Didn't you see? Huh?
We are going to expand.
Shouldn't you just go to Lana's?
This just isn't my thing.
And that's okay.
Really, it's okay.
Who wants to talk to me then? Doesn't he have a name?
Get the finch turn. - Hey, man. Remember me?
What do you think, piss stain? - Listen. I'm looking for something.
Yeah? That friend of mine lost something and...
maybe you can help me. - Help you?
Hey, come on, dude. I'm looking for something. A necklace.
Are you seriously asking me to help you with a shitty necklace?
You're fucking up my whole life, man. - I ain't just coming to get some.
I'll bring something too.
Oh, honey. Yes, my dear.
Tessa. - Luke.
I think you two need to talk. - Oh, come here.
Nice thing. Come on, bitch.
Oh, baby. Oh, Tessa.
Hey, what the fuck are you doing here?
Luke - Tessie.
Excuse me, can I have the bill? - Yes, sure. It's coming.
And.
Please. - Thank you.
You found him.
Somehow it was also because of me that you lost him, so I thought,
then I have to go and look for him for you too.
And what about those guests?
I knocked them all out.
So. Does it hurt?
I can get over a black eye,
but not a broken heart. - Oh, my God.
Did you think about that sentence for long? - Pretty much the whole ride here.
Apparently I'm better at breaking up with people than...
to say that I like someone.
Anyone?
Your.
Care to dance?
Well, now that we're here...
There's just one little problem.
South Korea is still looking for a place to sleep.
Well, luckily North Korea is in a good mood today.
You are welcome tonight.
Tonight?
A morning?
We'll see about that.
Hey, I
Can I have a double espresso?
Your appointment is over there.
Appointment? - Yes.
Hey.
What are you doing here?
Dylan said you wanted to talk to me.
Okay.
Ah yes.
This one is from Dylan. So.
This whole day is on behalf of Dylan.
Tickets for the movie, a restaurant and a cafe.
And he paid everything in advance. How do you like that?
Then I'll leave you alone for a moment...
Well, cheers then. - Cheers.
No details, Edgar. I'm not going to hang up my coat.
Where are the stairs?
You walk straight ahead and then to the left, into the living room...
Check.
Where she sits. Or you go up the stairs on the right,
then it's at the top of the stairs to the left...
and then there is the door to our bedroom.
And Rambo?
He sits in his cubicle in the room next to my office.
Certainly?
Yes, he's on a leash. - On a leash?
Hey, you made a brave decision.
Is she ever violent?
Edgar.
It is very important right now to be honest with me.
Sometimes she throws things.
The candlestick is her favorite. - Check.
Two thousand.
But on your website... - This is a last minute job, Ed.
I haven't been able to do any research other than this little chat with you.
That is an increased risk.
Hey, the alternative is that not I, but you go in and...
She's killing me. - Exactly.
And you don't want that. - No.
That's why you called us. You want to live.
So the question we really need to ask ourselves is...
is your life worth two grand?
Yeah, 'outside' is a bit of a broad term, isn't it. Where outside?
Yes, but where are you?
Why don't you want to say that?
You just come home now...
and then you tell me why you were 15 minutes late from work.
Because you know I can't handle that.
And you know what else I can't stand? When you just walk out of the house...
without saying anything. Without saying where you're going,
know if you are in the area.
And if you can't do that, then you simply won't leave the house next weekend.
And don't start about those race cars.
Those friends of yours just watch without you. Race cars...
It's like I'm living with a child in the house. That's all fine,
but then I'll treat you like a child.
By the way, I'm going to tell you even better. That television over here... Yes.
That television stays off, because you're going with me...
Goddammit, what are you doing here? - Hey. Dylan. I came to talk to you.
I'm here on behalf of Edgar. Ask him.
Edgar.
There's a guy here. A bit of a slick guy in a blue suit. His name is Dylan.
And you sent him, he says. Is that right?
Just give it to me.
Ed. I'll take over from you from now on.
Look here. Did they have you tied up in a cage?
Did it go well? - Sure.
And now what?
Things are only going to get better from here. My agent is scheduling a follow-up meeting.
Stay strong, Ed.
Okay, guys. Are you up for a party?
Okay, what's the plan?
To the Maassilo, but it's sold out. - Xandra is working tonight. I'll fix something.
That took a long time. Was it difficult? - No. Routine job.
Hey. Look at this.
Cheers.
I haven't been completely honest with you about why we're here.
Why I took you to this beautiful place.
Your grandparents were here once too...
Exactly 65 years ago to the day.
And now we. And so...
We've known each other for five years now.
And... - Wait.
Lane.
Oh, my God. - What?
It's gonna happen. - No...
Wow. Hey... - Hey.
Okay.
Go on.
We've known each other for five years now.
And those five years were the best years of my life.
Guard.
This is not the right number.
Me, stop.
'Unforgettable', do you know it?
Unforgettable.
Okay.
So. - Yes, I had arranged with them...
that I finish my story first and then our song and wine.
Wine?
You want to propose to me with wine?
Sorry.
Yeah, oh. Hi. Yes, thank you.
Like this.
Okay.
Okay... Where were we?
I... - We've been together for five years now.
And.
We've known each other for a long time. - Yes.
I want to be with you for the rest of my life. - Yes.
So my dearest Zoe,
do you want to... with me? - Yes.
Do you want to... with me? - Yes.
Zo?
Forget it. Ignore it. - I can't ignore this.
Zoe, I'm not here for nothing. - No, she's not here for nothing.
Zo.
Ignore it. - I can't ignore this.
I can't do this...
Two.
Good morning, darling.
Hey babe. It was really fun, but I gotta run.
But we're definitely going to see each other soon, because you and I...
really click.
Sorry, but I don't speak Dutch.
Spanish?
Give me a hint. - Maradona.
Naples. Italian. Naturally.
Sofia.
Hey Sofia, I gotta go. I'm gonna take a shower first, okay?
Sofia...
Before.
Okay, 20 minutes, Dylan. Pace. Our client only has half an hour.
Why don't you answer your phone? You're all...
Hi. I'm Mick. Colleague of Dylan.
I'm coming to pick him up. He has an appointment.
And he's always late.
I don't understand you and I don't care.
Hey, dick. - Hey. No...
Come on, Dyl. Hurry up. Fifteen minutes.
And this one for on the road. O. Just a routine job.
Oh, man, it'll be fine. - Yeah.
I'll call you in a minute, yeah?
Ricardo. Are you okay? - Dylan.
How's the little one? - Sleepless nights, man.
Better you than me, dick. Talk to you soon. - Yo.
Dylan.
I spend 40 weeks a year in Japan, she thinks.
You can wait until you're "back", right? - I'll be back next week.
Then we go to a little castle where I have to ask her to marry me.
You planned that? - Planned...
as in: 'Honey, are you coming to the bakery?' -Check.
Plus, if I deliver the bad news myself, she won't accept it.
She doesn't accept anything that isn't in her planning.
Check. - And please emphasize...
that I am still in Japan. She is resentful.
I don't feel like her standing in front of my apartment tonight with a brick.
But she thinks you're in the Netherlands.
Unexpectedly back. I 'landed' two hours ago.
But I texted her that I wanted to meet up with her tonight.
Are you sure about this?
We don't do refunds if you change your mind and she is beautiful, intelligent...
You've been together for five years. - Besides the fact that she's a control freak,
I have another very good reason to quit.
I'd bet you a bottle of wine that you'd think it's a good reason too.
Tell me. - This conversation is part of our deal.
Important conversation that I will pay well for.
Check. - Nevertheless, you are distracted...
by the lady sitting diagonally behind me.
She's a beautiful girl.
But she's already taken.
Honey... - Okay, you got me.
Congratulations, dick. Let her join you.
She thinks this is a business meeting. She doesn't know anything about Zoe.
Check. One more thing. Do you think deep down she has a suspicion...
why you want to meet tonight?
He's going to propose to me tonight. - Who? Sven?
This evening?
I dreamed about it last night and out of the blue he is in the Netherlands.
Out of the blue he wants to meet. He doesn't do anything out of the blue.
No, you knocked that out, didn't you?
He's in Japan, isn't he? - He's back out of the blue.
And he never does anything out of the blue. - I don't quite understand the problem.
Isn't this what you want? Getting married?
If not, you can say no. You can just say no. Just say no.
Wow, Laan, I want to. - Can you turn?
But just not on a Monday night, just not here in Rotterdam.
That's just not what we... - What you agreed on?
This is just really inconvenient. I have a busy schedule today.
Are you okay? - Yes. Sorry.
I was shocked. Its my fault. Fuck.
Sorry, Lysette. I'm just going to put you on the floor for a second, okay?
Jesus, man. - Sorry. It was my fault.
I was in a hurry and... Fuck.
No, of course. Can I give you a ride?
Yes. Well, do you happen to pass by Caf Binnenweg?
Yes, coincidentally, I...
I have to go that way. - Okay, great.
Like this.
Let me just put your iPad over there, okay?
Like this.
Yes, I'm in a bit of a hurry.
And...
Funny. I have that bag too.
Bought in Tel Aviv. - Coincidence.
Yeah, I've never seen anyone else who has that bag.
O, shit. Lysette. Oh, sorry.
Yeah, no, something went, well, wrong.
Yes, this will definitely be in next week.
Okay, thank you, Lysette. Bye.
Sorry, interview. I'm a journalist. Slash columnist.
Look at that.
And you? What do you do?
I'll tell you next time. We're here.
Really tiptop on time. Maybe my next column will be about you...
Dylan. - Zoe.
Who knows, maybe next time, Dylan. - Yeah, who knows.
Hey.
Monica. - Dylan.
Hi, Zoe. Can I have a minute?
Oh, sorry, no... Sorry, I have an appointment.
Yes. You have that with me. I am here on behalf of Sven.
Sven is still in Japan.
No, Sven is in town, because I have an appointment with Sven...
so are you going to sit somewhere else or am I? I find this awkward.
I see. I'll get straight to the point.
Sven loves you.
That's right.
He loves you, but in Nagoya he had time to think...
and he realized that the fire, what made your relationship so special,
is extinguished.
He would like to continue with you, in the long term, but as good friends.
Hey, Sven, it's me.
There's some idiot sitting across from me who's talking some really weird language.
Can you call me back?
Honey, would you call me? Thanks.
I understand that it is a blow, but know that you are not alone.
There's no point in calling. Sven has another number.
If you ever want to talk to someone...
A psychologist, specialized in coping after a break-up.
And Sven told me that you really like movies.
A cinema voucher for you and, for example, your friend Lana.
And with this dinner gift card you can eat at your favorite caf, De Nieuwe Maas.
Sorry, I really don't believe this.
You have the key to his apartment. I have to take it.
A key with an orange cap.
Okay. Suppose all of this is true...
then I would never give you that key? There are some things of mine there.
Yes, I know. And in exchange for that key, I have those things with me.
Okay.
I would like to pay. - Put it on my account.
This one is on the house.
It's okay.
And.
Hey, Zootje. - Hey, Laan. Do you have a minute?
I just got in a hot tub with three fucking hot guys, but you know what,
you go first, so tell me.
I believe it's over. - Over?
With Sven. It's over. Or, well, something like that.
I know you're dancing around the room with your fists clenched right now...
because you hate Sven and are happy that we can be single together, but I...
I feel really shitty, Laan. - Oh, I'm just sitting on the couch, you know.
Okay. - But,
now i'm getting up, because we're just going to do something fun. Right?
See you in ten minutes? You know where.
Yes.
Hey boy, everything good? Huh?
Guests.
Gabber.
Hey...
Cheers.
Can we have two more?
I see him. There.
Lane, wow...
Say it. Sven is a dick.
Oh, my God, Laan.
Hey. - Hey, good morning.
Are you going to make yourself a cup of tea?
De Break-Up Club.
There you go. - Catchy, yes.
So. - Thanks.
Holy shit. Is dit hem?
Well, he can dump me really hard sometime.
Well naked and... - Yes.
at night and... - Lane. It's Tuesday morning, right?
Shouldn't we be so positive about him? - 'Professional, committed...
and decisive.'
"I am free from my toxic relationship."
I should have done it sooner. Okay.
'Dylan is a master...' He profits from suffering.
I'll tell you, not any time soon. - Oh no. No, you're not going to do this.
I know what you're planning.
You are so indignant that you are going to write a revenge column. Yes or yes?
No. The column is already down.
Yeah, what's the problem? It's fiery and it's spicy.
It's a cheap settlement. This is totally unworthy of Momo.
This is mudslinging.
So he can ruin my life, but I can't ruin his?
Okay, it's just an idea, right? You can just tackle Sven, right?
It's Sven's turn when he returns from Japan.
Trix, I want this column posted.
And I demand that, now that I'm in trouble, you stand by my side.
If you say 'no', fine. Then there will be another magazine that wants my column.
Like this.
You, my sweet little homebody. You to another magazine?
Zo, yes... You were already upset when Zo was not on page 16, but on page 18.
Page 20. And I wasn't upset, but my readers were upset.
Definitely Zo, definitely page 16. My readers like stability.
And of well-researched stories.
I don't mind if you want to destroy that company with your sharp pen,
but you do that under my conditions. Namely by means of...
An in-depth journalistic article about your wonderful company.
Sorry, but I don't think we're here... - No, tell me. I'm curious.
We are willing to conduct an interview if necessary.
An interview? I want to tag along for a few days.
The conversations we have are private. We don't want people in there...
who have nothing to do with it. - Because he does have to do with it...
with the relationship between me and Sven.
I get the feeling that your article is becoming an act of revenge.
You can say no. Then I will write about my experiences...
and experiences of others who have been dumped by you on behalf of their partner.
FYI... this is the magazine I write for.
Momo, hip and happening for the modern woman.
Here you see an example of an article I wrote...
about restaurant Krooswijk.
This is the card from my colleague Lana...
who can tell you more about me, my working methods and my reputation.
And this is my card with my number that you can call...
if you have made a decision. Are there any questions?
Oh, well, I do have a few... - You say Momo is hip and happening,
but you come up with an article about a restaurant that went bankrupt.
After writing this article about the chef's loose hands.
So don't wait too long to make your decision. My deadline is Friday.
And I'll definitely meet my deadline.
Day.
I don't know, but I really don't think we should do this.
"We"? 'Cause you're coming too? - Yes.
Do you hear that? He's coming too. - This is my company too, isn't it?
She's going to write us to pieces. - Sure, yes.
Did you see those eyes? - This.
What? - You always do this.
What? - Just relax for once.
Huh? I'm gonna fix this. - Yeah, how?
I take her with me for a day and show her how important this work is.
That I help. She's gonna be glad she met me.
We.
Pay attention. She will write a nice admiring article about us soon. Yes?
We're only going to come out of this better. Cheers.
The more I think about it, the more I like it.
You and me on the road, so that I can keep you and your readers informed...
And readers.
I also have many readers.
You don't believe me.
Of course. When you say you have many readers, I believe you immediately.
You don't seem like the type to sell bullshit.
I would like to show you readers...
that I do my work with love. - You do your work with love.
Please explain.
I carefully prepare every conversation.
Do you mind if I record it? I also like to do my work carefully.
No, I don't. Am I speaking calmly and clearly enough?
I just want to portray you as you really are.
Your true self, so talk like you normally do.
Or like that one time in the cafe when you treated me without any compassion,
pushed further down the drain purely out of financial self-interest.
So...
You do your work with love. Tell.
To start with, I create a file for everyone with whom I have an exit interview.
An exit interview? - Oh, absolutely.
I don't make any hasty decisions.
You have a file on me? - On everyone.
Even the last minute jobs. - Wow, can you imagine...
that I find this annoying? - It was not a pleasant conversation.
Indeed. - You think I'm a jerk as a messenger.
That's right. - But be honest...
If Sven had done this, it would have been a shitty conversation too.
Then it would have been a conversation,
not a communication from one person to another through an intermediary.
'Intermediate'... Chic.
Do you mind if I put that on my business card? Thanks.
Hi. I'm looking for the Break-Up Club office.
That should be on this number. Is that above or am I completely wrong?
Well, no, there's only a gym up there.
Ja, dat is hier. - Is it?
This, yes, this... This is the office.
O. Okay, great. Well, hi. I'm Lana van Kessel's colleague.
I... No, that's not right. I'm Zo Lomans' colleague, from Momo Magazine.
O. - Yes. And I am Lana van Kessel myself.
Two. - Hey. Hello.
Oh yeah, I'm hot, aren't I? You're hot too. It's... It's hot in here.
Sorry. I'm Mick. - Hi.
Hi. Mick Hansen.
The founder of the Break-Up Club.
Well, I'm Lana and I'm a photographer, so I'm adding the pictures to the article.
Pictures? - Yes, the pictures.
Nothing was said about photos.
That's because it seems pretty obvious to me that they belong.
Or do you know a glossy without photos?
I'm still processing the fact that they call this their office.
Do you guys pay rent too? - Yeah, man.
Can you come and stand here? Over there.
There? - Yes.
Yes, good.
Can you look into the lens? Yes.
And laugh.
Kun is... Me.
Let's see...
Nice.
And...
What's up? - We don't really do photos.
Yeah, man. You look great. - Okay.
And I have also already agreed that I will go with your colleague to Zo tomorrow.
But... You agreed that with my colleague?
No, with Zoe.
Yes, no, we don't do that.
Look, we value our privacy, and especially that of our clients, very highly.
Very, very high.
Okay. Too bad. - Yes.
Shame.
If you change your mind and you would like to discuss something together...
or weigh the pros and cons or something... - Yeah?
Dan, I, the kun is...
Here. That's my work number and my private number.
Okay.
So I also record in the evenings.
Oh, how. - What?
Yes, of course.
Maybe we shouldn't say you're a journalist, but my intern.
You want me to lie?
I want you to keep quiet about it. That's something else.
A bit like cheating. You don't have to say sorry until it's discovered.
Are you always like this? - Look it up in my file.
Okay. Tell the truth. But if you get sent away, don't look at me.
Why on earth are you meeting here?
For privacy reasons.
And let's be honest... this is how you get somewhere.
Aren't you nervous? You're about to ruin someone's life.
Don't be so dramatic.
I close a door, but I open a window to a new future.
You're still alive, right?
By the way, this is not a break-up, but an intake.
I always have a preliminary discussion with my clients.
Part of building the file.
A chat with a coward who wants to get rid of his wife.
From her husband.
There you will have her.
Just wait a minute.
Maybe we should be careful with Lotte today, okay?
Hello. - Hello.
And you are?
I'm Zoe. A journalist at Momo...
columnist of Sowieso Zo, anyway page 16.
I don't read women's magazines. - It's for men too.
I am not a man.
I'm writing an article about Dylan and the fact that there are people like you,
who don't have the guts to end their relationship.
Is it okay if I stay? - Well...
I will use a pseudonym and will write everything in such a way that you are unrecognizable.
So my first question is... - Zoe,
You want to leave your husband. Why don't you say it yourself?
It causes a fuss. My husband doesn't do well with bad news.
Who? Is it really that hard to just sit down together...
and to say you don't want anymore? - Very difficult.
Explain yourself further.
It's risky.
Just to be clear, who is writing your article?
Me. - And who's conducting the conversations again?
You. - Very good. We can switch too, right?
That you conduct the conversations and I write,
but it's one or the other, so we'll have to make a choice.
I understand that it was scary.
I probably should have warned you. - Yeah.
Are you coming to sit down? I have to call Mick. It's in my agenda.
You don't know what's next on your agenda?
No. Sorry, I'm really starting to feel anxious...
if I know in the morning what I have to do in the evening. Don't you?
No. - Hey, Dylan. Well? How did it go?
Yeah, fine. - Nice.
Really lucky that I could bring that appointment forward, huh?
That blue eye must have made an impression on Zo too.
Or not?
Dylan. I'm not on speakerphone, am I?
Yes.
Hey, Zoe. How are you? - Hi, Mick.
Well, I was also able to bring up Lotte's ex, but that's tomorrow.
You'll have another chat later. Five minutes drive from where you are now.
Yeah. Absolutely fantastic, fantastic. Thank you. - You're welcome, right? Okay...
So handy. Mick always tries to cluster all my appointments.
He really is a rock in the surf. - Yes.
Milou is breaking up with me?
Dear?
With me?
I see it comes as a shock. - A shock? Do you see me start?
Know that you are not alone. - So Milou pays you to do this.
Yeah, but that's not the point. - I pay you...
to break up with Milou.
That's not how it works. - How much does she pay?
That's between me and my client. - I pay double.
Nice, but I can't accept your offer...
What is this? - It's not mine.
Oh, that's strange, because he's not mine either.
Okay.
Maybe someone should record him?
Well, I'll do it.
Dylan.
Ah, let me just ask.
Sven. I have a Sven on the line. Does anyone know a Sven?
I'm looking for a Sven. Sven.
That's my phone. Sorry, I was shifting. Thanks.
Hey, sweetie.
Oh. Hi.
Okay, where were we? - No.
Seriously, what are you doing to me? - I'm doing something to you?
You're doing something to me.
Hello. Were you even paying attention?
Imagine if she found out... - What is this? Are you working together?
Nee.
Set? - No.
She is making a report.
I thought it would be better if she wasn't there and recorded the conversation. My bad.
No, it's my fault. Sorry, let me introduce myself. I'm Zoe.
Anyway Zoe, definitely page 16. And I won't use your conversation.
Yes, you can. Do you have enough content?
Background information? More on how I feel about this?
My side of the story? Should we chat sometime?
Okay, yes, I'd love to.
Tonight? At my place. Wine with it...
Sorry. You just got dumped. - I didn't get dumped.
Milou gets dumped. - Check.
So, Anyway, what do you say?
I think I have enough content.
Are you sure?
Okay. Hey, maybe we shouldn't do this for a while.
You don't know what you're missing.
I told you so? The type that knows what she wants.
I must say, she has good taste.
Okay. Sorry.
I should have turned that thing off. - Apology accepted.
Saying that Sven called was a shit move. - I know.
And not very smart either, since I now hate you even more.
So if I were you, I would just say 'sorry'.
Sorry then, Zoe.
Well, this time, say it like you really mean it.
Sorry, Zoe.
Dank is... Dylan.
Actually, it's quite nice, isn't it? That I drop you off at your favorite caf.
Whether I want to put that in my article too... - For the complete picture.
Do you think there is an interesting article in there?
Oh, sure. Sure.
Do you look at my work differently?
Oh, certainly not. Certainly not.
But who knows, maybe that will change tomorrow. What time and where?
I won't know until tomorrow morning. - This is making me so irritable.
But I know it's made well. I'll pick you up.
Check. - And I'll bring you coffee.
I'd guess an espresso macchiato.
How do you know that?
Really... Fucking dossier...
Dylan, good that you called. I just read a super sweet, enthusiastic email...
from a very grateful client. - Don't bother, bro. She's gone.
O. So, how did it go?
I dropped her off nicely and now I'm in the mood for beer and pizza. You?
We're having dinner. - Does it have to be now?
It's business, Dylan, so yeah. In fifteen minutes at caf De Nieuwe Maas.
Oh no. No.
Yes.
Huh? But he just dropped me off here. Why?
'What do you mean?' I went to Mick's this afternoon, but Mick was being difficult, so what do I do?
I give him my number.
You invited Zoe... - Yes.
And she agrees? - No, Lana agrees.
Work?
A colleague of hers with whom I have some making up to do.
Wait, a colleague of Zoe's?
And really after an hour he calls me and says we need to talk about it.
She wanted photos to go with the article. I said that was not possible.
Privacy, blah, blah, blah. She was quite angry about that.
I think: this cold has to come out of the air. I'll take her out to dinner.
Well, with Dylan there, because it concerns him too,
so I say, 'Yeah, fine, but then also with Zoe.' Ah.
Me alone with a woman, that doesn't work. That's why we're going with four.
The three of us. - No, the four of us.
Zoe really doesn't agree with this. She calls this...
Pure manipulation. And you will see, they insist on paying the bill.
Well, isn't that romantic? - No, Laan, that's bribery.
Yeah, listen, what is this? As if its all so bad.
As if it's so bad to be out with someone who's fucking hot.
Admit it's hot. Or only in pictures?
No, he's also fucking hot, but that's the problem. He knows it himself.
Two. - Hey.
Hi. Lana. - Dylan.
From Lana... - Ha.
Okay. Well, heard a lot about you.
Hey. - Two.
You were in the middle of a story so please continue.
Yes, we... - Waiter.
The waiter, yes. The waiter. We were talking about the waiter. A conceited little man.
Good evening. - Thank you.
I see it.
Yeah, I just ordered some stuff. I thought, that's handy.
There.
Well, that's nice. - Yeah, nice.
All.
Oh yeah, first of all I want to apologize for our phone call...
in the car. About Lotte.
It's okay. It's okay.
Laan, you don't even know what this is about.
And sorry, apologies and all this, unfortunately, is not going to help.
No, but just sorry.
So you guys are the Break-Up Club together?
And.
Dylan and I. Me and Dylan. We... So...
Hey, do you actually know how the Break-Up Club started?
Nee.
Wow. Are we really going to talk about this?
I'm actually very curious. - Yes?
Yeah. - Yeah. Yeah, me too.
Well, I was in a relationship, but I was miserable...
and Dylan, who's known me all my life, he saw that...
and he also saw that I didn't dare to break up with him.
She was quite bossy.
Ugh, ugh. - Yes, really.
And then he broke up with me.
Really? - Yes.
Wow, that's fantastic. - Yeah.
And after that? - Lane.
Were you completely happy again after that? - Yes, much happier.
It can always be better of course. - Yes. I understand exactly what you mean.
Okay, cool.
Hey, and then we thought: well, we can make a lot more people happy...
because that's the real purpose of the Break-Up Club. To make people happy.
Yes. Beautiful. Beautifully spoken.
Personally, I can't really say that I'm happy after my conversation.
But she wasn't before either. Luckily.
Wow, what the fuck, Laan? - Well, it's true, isn't it?
Wow. Sorry, I... I really don't feel like doing this at all.
What time tomorrow? - Half past nine.
Okay, will you make sure Dylan is at my door?
So... Zoe. - You have to be there tomorrow at half past nine...
I heard it too. - Okay. It's like this...
Sorry. I... I should have prepared her better for this kind of thing.
She doesn't really like surprises, so... - And you? Do you like surprises?
Yeah. I'm glad you asked. - Oh, cool.
Very much so. - Yes. Me too.
Guys, sorry to interrupt, but it's been a long day...
and I have to get up early tomorrow, so I'm going to wind down. But,
good evening. This is going to be just fine. Yes.
Wait a minute, man. - No. You got this.
Zo, just to be clear, I didn't know about the dinner either.
No, me neither, otherwise I would have stopped it. Oh. Taxi.
Hello.
Fuck.
Tiring, huh? A whole day on the road with me.
Look, I don't know what Mick's motives are...
but Lana has been through a lot. I don't wish her another broken heart.
Not all men are assholes, Zoe. - No, because Mick is the exception.
Mick is the exception. I am not, but nevertheless this bastard wants to...
you better take me home.
If that's allowed.
Me calling you fucking delicious didn't mean anything.
You're not my type.
Okay. I'll add it to your file.
And speaking of which, according to your file you're crazy about pita gyros...
and I just happen to know the tastiest gyros tent in all of Rotterdam.
Maybe we can grab a bite to eat together.
Dylan, can you give me a ride?
I do want to go home. Don't you? - Yeah, me too.
Well, there goes my pita gyros.
Right on time.
Yes. - But you must have forgotten the coffee.
You mean this one? That's Mick. He's sending you today's schedule.
Because you get so cranky without an agenda. - Thank you, Dylan.
Well, it's been a busy day. We start today at the supermarket and we end...
I don't want to know. I just want to know where we're going now.
Sorry, 'and-and-and'?
Can I just finish my sentence?
I find it really annoying when I'm not allowed to finish my sentence.
Okay.
Where do we end up? - We end up...
in a high school.
A break-up, then? - Definitely.
Lotte's husband. The one with the black eye. - Yes, I remember her.
Why school?
He is a teacher and at his workplace he will keep his hands to himself.
He has ten-minute conversations and we are going to surprise him with a visit.
It's the first time that I enjoy going to school.
Honestly, I continue to be amazed at how much you enjoy this.
I help Lotte out of a difficult situation and make her and therefore the world happier.
Oh, wow. You really deserve a medal.
Now that you mention it... Maybe you can nominate me.
I don't think so. It's still an easy way to earn...
to other people's suffering. - Easy? Is that your conclusion?
Yes. Teaching, that's hard.
And writing columns too, I suppose? - Quite a bit, yes.
Yes. So what I can do, anyone can. - Definitely.
Great. Then you can do this one.
Are you coming?
Okay.
Like this.
How long have I got? - Fifteen minutes.
Enough for the most important details.
Go do something nice for yourself. Or be nice and get me a drink.
Fair enough. Let me guess.
It's a weekday after 7pm.
You want herbal tea.
She's such a bore. Super neurotic.
Everything according to plan, everything according to the rules, everything according to the agenda.
People think, oh, Zoe. What a nice lady she is.
Hey, because she writes so passionately, so fiery.
On paper maybe, yes, she is passionate,
but in reality she even schedules when we have sex.
My 80-year-old neighbor has an even more exciting life.
She is a robot.
Sorry, the cafeteria is closed. They only had coke from the machine.
But you don't like coke, do you? - No, no problem. Nice.
Yes, that's something different.
Zoe, listen. Keep it concise, businesslike. Band-aid off and move on, okay?
And.
Have a nice evening.
You guys are here for a ten-minute conversation? - No.
Well, it won't take more than ten minutes.
And whose parents are you?
Yes. We are here on behalf of Lotte.
And I'm also here as a journalist, for the sake of completeness.
Of course, I won't mention any names in my article.
Sorry, what's this about? Lotte? - Your wife.
Yes, I know who Lotte is, but why are you starting about her?
We recently had a good conversation with her.
Or, well, okay...
Touching. And in it she told us...
that she is very unhappy in your relationship.
Lotte spoke to you guys? About us?
I'll give her a call. - Well, don't do that.
Just listen for a moment.
You're in my classroom, you're talking about my wife and my relationship...
and now you're going to forbid me to call my own wife in my own room?
Who are you? - Well, I'm Zo Lomans.
Definitely Zoe, definitely page 16.
And you and I are in the same boat...
since I had exactly the same conversation with him.
Which boat and which conversation? - My relationship is also on hold.
Mine is not on hold. - Well.
What's this about? - There's no reason...
to react so aggressively. In fact, your aggressiveness is the problem.
If you don't leave now, I'll call the police.
Will you also tell them what you did to Lotte, you sad sack?
Okay, can I take over from you for a moment?
To sit.
Lotte is packing her bags because she never wants to see you again.
She didn't dare to tell that. That's why we do it.
Do I need to explain why not? I don't think so, do I?
Here. The number of a psychologist.
Anger management is his specialty. My tip: call him.
And I have another tip for you. You keep on in every possible way...
away from Lotte.
If not, we won't come and visit you next time,
but people in a blue uniform. And then I wouldn't throw chocolate milk.
Shame on you, man.
Hey. - Are you okay?
Yes. No, sorry.
It doesn't look good. Take my shirt. - No... That's fine.
Go ahead. - Yes?
Really, yes.
We need to score a shirt for you. - No need. I'm prepared for anything.
And if I read your file correctly, that is something...
what makes you very happy.
I'm afraid I'll have to put you on the train after all.
Early tomorrow morning I have a job in Friesland, so Mick has booked a hotel for me.
Then I'll come along.
Really? - Yes.
Okay.
I hope they have a room available. Mick booked just for me.
On Wednesday evening in the province.
If they don't have an extra room there, I'll eat your shoe.
Okay.
Please.
My left shoe or my right shoe?
Maybe we should draw lots. Who gets the bed and who gets the chair.
If I sleep there, I won't sleep and I'll be working on that article all night.
Okay. Another plan.
North Korea, South Korea, border.
So you sleep there.
Because I am North Korea. If you keep doing this, you will get something back.
This. This is what I mean. If I say or do something you don't like...
then reprisals will follow.
North Korea.
I'm going to take a shower. Enjoy your meal.
Hey.
This is Sven's voicemail. Leave a message and I'll call you back.
Sven, it's me.
I thought, maybe we could talk sometime. That would be nice.
Shame on you, Dylan said, standing up...'Hey.
'...didn't even look at the man and left the classroom. The teacher...'
That's private. - I'll still get to read it, won't I?
And it's not finished yet.
You keep your hands off other people's stuff anyway. Fucking antisocial.
Dylan - Did you give her my number?
Sorry?
Zoe has my new number. - Impossible.
She just called me, so she has my new number.
I didn't give it to her. No one around me,
so the only one left is you.
Hello? Talk. - I don't know what you're talking about.
Zoe keeps stalking, calling, emailing. I didn't pay for this.
She hopes it will be okay. Can she? - 'Can she'? How do you know?
Because I... - Because you what?
I still speak to her. She is writing an article about the Break-Up Club.
My condolences on your upcoming bankruptcy.
Tell her not to call anymore. - I don't know if she...
Solve it.
Funny. Normally you're gone in the evenings and Dylan is at the bar.
Yeah, he's on the road again. And I...
Just one more? - Nice. And have one for yourself.
Calm down. Okay.
Master Lana.
Hey. Met Mick. - Oh, hey, Mick.
From the Break-Up Club. - Huh? Yeah, from the... Yeah, I know.
Yeah, hey. Hey, I'm just calling about that photoshoot.
That's going ahead, right? - No, because of privacy and all that.
Yeah, you already said that, yeah. - Yeah.
But I didn't say you shouldn't take it personally.
No? - No.
We would...
I would very much like to work with you, but under different circumstances.
That's really... That's really, really nice to hear.
That also applies to us mutually. To me.
Well, maybe we can... - And maybe we can...
Oh, sorry. Go ahead. You're... - Okay, well...
You want to say something, right? - Can we talk about it?
Should we... - Honey, one for you and one for me.
Ja, cheers. - Cheers.
O. You're already in company.
Yeah. Well, no, I'm... I'm not in company...
Never mind. - No.
It doesn't matter. It really doesn't matter. It's really not that bad. Me too.
Ah, my appointment just came in. Hi. - Your...
So I have to hang. Okay. Bye, Mick. - Yeah, have a nice evening.
Doeg.
What...
Hi. You wanted to order?
Should we just skip this indignant part?
Outraged?
We're even. You're just as bad as me.
I snooped through your laptop and you snooped through mine.
Not at all. You have my permission... - Sven just called me.
That you called him on his new number that was in your file...
on my laptop.
Okay. Fine. Then we're even. Congratulations, Dylan.
Was he angry? Or is he sorry?
Now is not the time for that. - Oh, no.
Of course, now is not the time for that.
Hi, Dylan. It's hard, isn't it, being honest?
Here you go. - Thank you.
Sven is in the Netherlands.
For a while now.
He has a new girlfriend. Chantal.
For about six months now.
And you knew that? - Yeah. I... I wasn't supposed to tell.
Tyfushond.
Sorry.
Not you. Him.
Well, you too, by the way.
Why are you so attached to that guy? He's a dick.
Well, he's a dick too.
But yeah, I'd grow old with that dick.
It.
My grandfather gave that ring to my grandmother when they met.
I'll marry you later, he said.
And 65 years ago he proposed...
in a small castle in the Ardennes...
and an orchestra played their favorite song.
Unforgettable.
And she said yes, of course.
They had three children. Sixteen grandchildren.
The perfect life.
My grandfather died three years ago and my grandmother a few days after that.
And she left me this...
because I always thought it was such a, yeah, sweet story.
And because she wished me the same...
with Sven.
I think you're much better off without that guy.
Yes, I actually think so too.
How are you actually doing? Are you in a relationship?
Oh, no. No.
Well, it almost sounds like you find it gross.
Well? Love?
Don't be so silly.
Oh yes, I hear you. I pour my heart out and the gentleman is all ears...
and I ask you one little personal question...
and boom, the shutters close.
Okay. What do you want to know?
Have you ever been in love?
Very often.
Real?
But it usually doesn't last longer than one night.
There are so many beautiful women on this planet.
Well, that clears up a lot.
I'll put it in your file.
My file?
I have a file on you...
with facts that I may or may not add to your article.
Good night, South. - Good night, North.
Wow.
Hey. Did you sleep well?
Yes. You?
Before.
What time is our first appointment? I...
I mean, with all due respect to your shirt, but...
I would like to buy something new.
He's just so looking forward to today.
Luuk is such a sensitive guy when you get to know him better,
but he also has another side.
Okay. And why don't you do it yourself?
When I see tears, and I'm going to see them, because he seems tough,
but secretly he is very emotional, yes, then I still give in.
Listen, Tessa. - And?
It just sounds like you love him very much.
Yes, I do that too.
But I just don't know if that's enough for him.
Are you absolutely sure about this?
Certainly.
You only get married once. With full conviction.
We're just in a bit of a hurry.
Yeah, no, of course.
Okay, when is the wedding?
Today.
Yeah, sure, but I mean more what time is the...
In fifteen minutes.
So, okay. - Okay, well...
Then I'll go. - Well, I...
Yes, I almost don't dare to ask, but...
I've never been in a limo before. - Well...
He's there now. Yeah, man, take it with you.
Nice.
It'll be fine.
'Half past three drinks on the square, four o'clock ceremony at the centre spot...
in the stadium where the lovers met.'
Stadium?
Half an hour late.
That's fucking unbelievable, man?
One, two. Test. One, two.
Lee, is it okay if it takes a little longer?
Well, I was still going to go shopping with my wife...
so I would say, take your time.
The families are already on the field.
Can you sing a song now? - I'll do my best.
My lawn is going to hell. - Your lawn?
We're groundskeepers here. - Whoa, whoa. Groundskeepers.
Of the most beautiful lawn in the world. - Certainly.
Hey, there she is, man.
Guys, come on. Now. Pace. Now. Yo.
Come on, pace. Now. Everyone.
Well, you wanted a wedding? Here's your wedding.
Maybe it would be nice if you could handle this.
Is a nice ending for your article. - I'm okay.
Tessa.
Chief. If I tap the limo, you can drive a little further, okay?
We can also just go. Step on the gas and we'll be back on the A16 in no time.
In ten years we'll be able to laugh out loud about this.
Shut up, Lee. It's not her.
I... Hey, man. I'm looking for the groom.
That's me.
Luke?
Yes, Luke.
Is she in that car or not? - Who are you?
And where is Tessa?
Hey, it ain't her, man. - Hey, leave her alone.
Who is she then? - Guest...
Hey.
Can we talk in private? - No need. We have no secrets.
Where is Tessa?
And...
Maybe it would be more convenient... - Say what you have to say, buddy.
Tessa doesn't want to get married anymore.
What? - Not getting married anymore?
I'm sorry. She's not coming.
Hey, idiot. - Fucker.
Terrible smooth-talker.
Luke.
Wait a minute. - Stop it.
This is no use. She's not going to pick up.
How do you know? She ran off with you?
No, man, you don't understand. - I don't understand?
I don't understand.
Listen. This floor pig says that Tessa doesn't want to marry me. Why?
Hey, listen, guys. I barely know her either. Right?
I'm just delivering a message.
She's crazy about you. She really does, she loves you, but she just doesn't want to commit yet.
Well, do you have any questions?
Do I have any questions? - Yes.
No. But I do have a message for you.
Hold him.
Well, first I'll break your legs, then you and I will go get Tessa together...
and then Tessa and I are getting married.
Then we'll hang you like those fucking cans behind the car.
I do my job. I'm a professional.
Perhaps we can look for a compromise.
I can go talk to Tessa if you want. Then we can weigh the pros and cons.
You're not going to discuss anything with...
Get the hell out of here. - Run after that truck.
They run away.
Then from. - Hey, kloothommel.
Goddammit.
Dirty fucking idiot.
Trekking goat
Ah, fuck. - Stay where you are, you wimp. Hey.
Zo.
Erin. Now.
Hey. - Drive. Move.
Hey.
I will never take on a last minute job again.
Don't be such a wimp. That's an adventure, isn't it?
Do you think you have enough content for your article?
Almost. I'm still curious where you live.
This is also a portrait about you.
Let's have a drink afterwards to round it off.
Don't have a deadline to meet today?
So this is where you take all your women.
Or do you sometimes go with them?
Do we really have to talk about other women?
I want to know everything about you, you know.
Okay. Sometimes with me, sometimes with her, or them.
'She'... Sigh.
Really... - Hey.
Pretender.
So, what's your secret?
How do you do it? - Do I do what?
Courting ladies, Dylan.
What is your modus operandi?
M'n method of operation?
I don't have that. It's not an act, Zoe.
Okay. So what is it?
Teach it to me.
Show me how.
Dylan,
decorate me.
I can't.
Why not?
Because I'm not fun?
Fine. Then I'm done with my research. - That's not it.
You're really cool and you know it.
I've got moves, opening lines, tricks, jokes, looking away, looking back.
I know exactly how to charm a woman.
But with you I can't.
Why not?
Because it's fake.
And what I feel for you is real.
With you I really just want to be myself.
That...
You're doing really well. I almost fell for it.
We...
come on with your tour.
Good.
Well, kitchen,
bathroom, living room,
bedroom.
Hello.
Did you sleep well? - Yes, but I'm missing my necklace.
Are you leaving?
I should have left already. I... I have a breakfast appointment.
Don't act so disappointed. We both know what this was.
What was it then?
Dylan is always in love, but it never lasts longer than a night.
I have a file on you too, remember?
It was fun.
You haven't answered your phone since yesterday afternoon.
Thats right. Tough job.
Yeah, yeah. I just saw Zoe walk away, you know.
What have you done?
That's none of your business. - Well, if you just had sex...
and now you don't hear from her again. She doesn't like that.
You don't even know her. - She's writing an article about us now, right?
Yeah? About you, about me. If she thinks we're screwing her, we can forget it.
We don't do that at all, do we? - Then show it.
Give her a call. Be nice. At least until that piece is published.
That's gross, Mick. - You know what's gross? Fucking.
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
All the time.
And don't let anyone hear from you.
Like this.
You need to start your own sex life before you start interfering with mine.
Keys.
Do you know why you are so obsessed with your work?
Because you have nothing else.
Get a life, Mick.
I'm going to take a shower.
Hello? Is this fun for tomorrow?
And.
What, no? - Yes.
Isn't that nice? Or should I wear this?
Hi, what's wrong with you? Trix said you missed your deadline.
She was really panicking and everything. So she really thought you were dead.
Yes, it was really intense.
I was with Dylan.
Nee.
No? - No.
Yes.
Me. Okay. - Me?
Was it... No?
Did he... or did he just... - We're not going to talk about that here.
We're not going to talk about it. - No.
There are so many nice men in the world. - Yes.
So now you're going to go wild with all those cute guys.
Certainly.
What is that?
Received from Mick.
Wow. - Cool, huh? Very ugly though.
At least, I find him quite ugly, but also so fucking cute.
He's also coming to the drinks tomorrow. With Dylan.
So I thought, I'll put this on. I like it. But if you don't like it...
I'll have another glass of wine. Thirsty...
Two.
Mick.
Dylan.
Are they here yet?
Hey.
Where's Zoe? - What?
Zoe. - Zoe. She's not here.
Can I... - Where is she then?
Yes, it's at some little castle or something, in the Ardennes.
She was kind of stuck or something and really needed to get out.
Then something else about being free and that you taught her that.
And that she is grateful to you for that, or something.
Hey. - Two.
Welcome to Momo. - Thanks. Thank you.
You are really beautiful. Beautiful building. - Yes. Yes, right? Yes. Thank you...
Yeah. - Or something.
You work here? - Yes.
So... - Yeah.
Welcome, everybody. It's great that you've all come.
I would really like to call Dylan out for a moment.
Dylan, come on over.
Our cover story this month is about a very special company.
Yes, we can call it that, namely your...
I'm gonna go get us some champagne. - Yeah.
Company.
Zo and Dylan have been out together for a few days...
and I have to say, the stories don't lie.
And that's why I would really like to say to you, Dylan...
want to hand over the very first copy.
Dylan, I've read very good things about you.
Yes, of course you are better off alone.
For humans there are two options.
Or you already realize that the relationship is not going well...
and then my bad news message doesn't come out of the blue...
and isn't it bad news, because your relationship was already bad.
Or you don't even realize that things aren't going so smoothly...
and that really is a reason to break, since the partners are not leveling.
Really. You know, it's so easy.
"Oh, we're not leveling, so I'm just going to call it a day."
Do you even know what love is? - Well?
Love, that is not just happiness, the passion, the warmth, complementing each other. No.
Love, that is... - Is a verb.
This. I can see you looking again, you know.
'Ah, clich. Zo, boring roofing pigeon.' Prima, so be it.
Your coffee. - Exactly, my coffee. Bye, Dylan.
I have to go.
Ah, we, Dylan...
Last minute job. - 'What's new', you might say.
Yes, but... - Cheers to love.
Cheers.
Hey. A last minute job? How come I don't know anything about that?
I don't want to be here. You can stay.
No. I still have some work to do on the website, so...
We're gonna be busy. All new customers. Didn't you see? Huh?
We are going to expand.
Shouldn't you just go to Lana's?
This just isn't my thing.
And that's okay.
Really, it's okay.
Who wants to talk to me then? Doesn't he have a name?
Get the finch turn. - Hey, man. Remember me?
What do you think, piss stain? - Listen. I'm looking for something.
Yeah? That friend of mine lost something and...
maybe you can help me. - Help you?
Hey, come on, dude. I'm looking for something. A necklace.
Are you seriously asking me to help you with a shitty necklace?
You're fucking up my whole life, man. - I ain't just coming to get some.
I'll bring something too.
Oh, honey. Yes, my dear.
Tessa. - Luke.
I think you two need to talk. - Oh, come here.
Nice thing. Come on, bitch.
Oh, baby. Oh, Tessa.
Hey, what the fuck are you doing here?
Luke - Tessie.
Excuse me, can I have the bill? - Yes, sure. It's coming.
And.
Please. - Thank you.
You found him.
Somehow it was also because of me that you lost him, so I thought,
then I have to go and look for him for you too.
And what about those guests?
I knocked them all out.
So. Does it hurt?
I can get over a black eye,
but not a broken heart. - Oh, my God.
Did you think about that sentence for long? - Pretty much the whole ride here.
Apparently I'm better at breaking up with people than...
to say that I like someone.
Anyone?
Your.
Care to dance?
Well, now that we're here...
There's just one little problem.
South Korea is still looking for a place to sleep.
Well, luckily North Korea is in a good mood today.
You are welcome tonight.
Tonight?
A morning?
We'll see about that.
Hey, I
Can I have a double espresso?
Your appointment is over there.
Appointment? - Yes.
Hey.
What are you doing here?
Dylan said you wanted to talk to me.
Okay.
Ah yes.
This one is from Dylan. So.
This whole day is on behalf of Dylan.
Tickets for the movie, a restaurant and a cafe.
And he paid everything in advance. How do you like that?
Then I'll leave you alone for a moment...
Well, cheers then. - Cheers.