Deadstream (2022) Movie Script

1
I'm Shawn Ruddy, and I'm
a piece of trash.
I'm Shawn Ruddy,
the world's biggest wuss.
And because I love attention
and hate myself,
I'm facing all of my fears one
dumb ass challenge at a time.
Help!
Ah!
Stop! Muchachos!
Hey, douchebags!
What did you say?
- Oh
- Hey!
This is "The Wrath of Shawn."
Welcome to "The Wrath of Shawn."
Happy Halloween!
Ah!
No, no, no!
Help!
Ah!
Hadouken!
I'm back!
After six months
of eating ramen noodles
with chopped up bits of Vienna
sausages, I am monetized again.
But I don't care
about that stuff.
I don't care about money.
I care about you.
For seven years now,
you have watched me face
my fears for your entertainment.
And I'm happy to announce
I've faced them all.
Not.
There is one fear that
I haven't yet faced.
Something I fear more than cops.
More than sharks.
More than playing bingo
with the elderly.
I, Shawn Ruddy, and mortally
terrified of...
ghosts.
I was raised
in a religious home.
I believe in that stuff.
I hate that stuff.
I haven't seen a horror movie
since the first half
of "Ghost Dad."
And that's why I hate myself
for what I'm about to say.
For my next livestream event,
I will be spending one night
alone in a haunted house.
If there are ghosts
in the house,
it's pretty much a guarantee
that I'm going to piss them off.
That's why my mom packed me
this paranormal kit.
Holy water, a crucifix, salt,
garlic, and a silver dagger.
I have come up with one rule
that you and the sponsors
can hold me to... if I see
or hear anything unusual,
I have to check it out.
If you let me break this rule,
I will not get paid.
I will not get paid.
This is on you now, Internet.
Tune into my Livvid channel
on October 20th,
11:00 p.m.
Mountain Standard Time
for the biggest comeback event
since the first Easter.
I'll see you then.
Don't forget to
smash that like button,
smash that subscribe button,
and follow me on Livvid.
Welcome to "The wrath of Shawn."
These shirts are available
right now in my merch store,
and as always,
I've composed a score
specifically for this broadcast.
I'm calling this one
"Shawn Carpenter's Halloween."
Available now on iTunes.
Okay, this is Shawn Ruddy,
coming to you live from...
Death Manor.
I'm doing a dramatic push in,
if you can't tell.
This is the most haunted house
in the United States.
And by that,
I mean the most haunted
but not too famous for me
to film in house.
And I'm spending
the night there.
I've had the nervous poops
all week.
But no matter
what happens to me,
I am committed to bringing you
the most cinematic experience
in live streaming.
I've got my Livvid bracelet
right here.
So when I flick my wrist,
this will cut back and forth
from my selfie camera,
my P.O.V. cam.
Okay.
Now, this next part is called
protecting me from myself.
I need to remove any temptation
of an easy exit.
I know me way too well.
I've done a lot of stupid
things before,
but I've never been completely
alone while doing that.
If you're just tuning in,
I am about to make
my approach to Death Manor.
Death Manor was built in 1880
by a wealthy Mormon pioneer
for his social outcast daughter,
a poet named Mildred Pratt.
Mildred would later
commit suicide
and become the first
of many deaths in this house.
Did her suicide curse the house?
Or was Mildred the victim of
an already cursed house?
That's not a good sign.
This is not going well for me.
I'm not a big fan
of these woods.
They actually found a body
out here a few years ago.
The face was completely
eaten by rats.
Was it related to the power
of this house?
Maybe.
Maybe it was also...
A stick man.
That is some satanic
Wiccan crap.
I got to get some eyes out here.
All of these infrared cameras
are motion activated
and will cut right into
the feed automatically.
So if anything happens
out here, we'll know.
Let's see.
Not a big fan of barbed wire
or "bobbed" wire,
as my mom calls it.
There's got to be another door.
Yeah. This is better.
Good thing I've been lifting.
Being banned from the Internet
has given me
time to work on my self.
Ah!
Okay.
Spiders!
Ah!
Okay.
Before I change my mind...
This is also called
protecting me from myself.
What is that, a vent?
After Mildred's death, 11 more
people died in this house
before it was finally
boarded up in 1956.
That's... Shit! Shoot!
I meant shoot. Please don't
monetize me, Livvid.
This is an intense situation.
I think there should be
a strike system,
like three strikes or something,
starting on the next one.
Holy F.
This room smells like my A.H.
"Help me."
It's just paint.
It's just paint.
Is anyone else
creeped out by this?
"I'm an atheist.
I don't believe in ghosts."
Oh, good for you, Kimbucha.
"Haunted houses are overdone."
How can haunted houses
be overdone?
I've never done one before.
Kiguy5... "Did kids call you
crater face in high school?"
No, because in high school
it was still acne.
Your nuts.
Yeah. What about him?
What is that?
Oh, gross! Oh, gross!
That's disgusting.
Alright, Shawn, 10 minutes in,
you've already got
swearing and drugs.
Is that a well bucket?
I feel like I'm in "The Ring."
Here it is.
Mildred's old kitchen.
That means that's the room.
Okay.
Judas Priest!
Look at that thing.
Looks like it could
fillet someone.
Okay.
Tonight, we're going to be
monitoring three rooms,
all of which have actual
documented paranormal activity.
The first room,
the master bedroom.
Ahh.
We got to get a camera
up in here, too.
Internet, say a prayer
this chair doesn't break.
Is that gonna hold?
Pro tip...
Always carry duct tape.
You can literally fix 90% of
life's problems with duct tape.
I made a wallet of duct tape
in eighth grade.
I'm still proud of it.
Master.
Okay, this room has two separate
reports of the same ghost
who I like to call Corner Man.
This is the first account.
In 1910, a man named Max Loland
wrote about a reoccurring dream
he had while sleeping
in this room.
"In my dreams, I wake up
and see a very tall man"
in the north corner of my room.
I can't see his face,
but I know he's watching me.
And he always whispers
the same thing...
The pond water still.
One year later,
Max Loland died in his sleep.
In this room.
Probably in this nasty bed.
North corner.
Okay, prepare yourself.
This is really disturbing.
"In 1995, a team
of paranormal investigators"
came into this room
and took this picture.
They were standing right here.
I don't think I can
be in here anymore.
I hope you all appreciate
the public service
I'm doing by being here.
LilyKing98... "Shawn, please do
the right thing"
and help the spirits
of this house find rest."
Hell, no! I'm not
an exorcist, LilyKing98.
Oyaboyo... "Are you still
with what's her name?"
No, shh! We're here.
That's where it happened.
Mildred hung herself right
at the top of these stairs.
From all accounts
I could dig up,
Mildred's small town community
wasn't a big fan of, quote,
"odd duck Mildred
and her weird poems."
So her dad built her
this big house.
I don't know why.
My guess is he thought
it might attract
a husband for her.
But no one wanted her it seems.
As creepy as the Corner Man
stuff is,
it's the second floor
that's the real
paranormal G-spot in this house.
Okay.
The nursery.
From what I found
in my research, five children
have died in this room.
Two babies and three kids.
Oh. I've always hated
creepy kid movies.
What if Haley Joel Osment
was just sitting here?
As an adult.
Oh, that's worse.
Look at that window.
Why isn't this one boarded up?
You think something escaped?
Okay, now, for the ghost
evidence of this room.
I'm going to play this messed up
video from some ghost hunters
in the '90s while I set up
the room cam.
I don't want to go back
in there, Dad.
Just a little longer,
just to help us out.
No.
Well, we can get
ice cream after.
Jessica!
They told me it's not my room.
Who told you that?
Pretty creepy, right?
That girl totally saw something
in this room.
Also, I just want to say,
I do not condone
the use of a child
in paranormal research.
I've never used children
before in my stunts.
Despite what people say,
there are further depths
that I could sink to.
Okay. Last room.
This is the room
I've been dreading the most.
The bathroom.
A mirror!
Bloody Mary.
The last death that I could
find happened
in this bathtub in 1955.
Ohhhh.
Ah!
I would never.
I'm about to play an EVP
recorded in this room in 2002.
For those of you
unfamiliar with EVPs,
EVP stands for
Electronic Voice Phenomenon.
The idea is that recordings
may be able to
pick up communications
from the dead
that we otherwise can't hear.
I'll show you.
Listen to this.
We've got Jay.
He's going to man the recorder.
He's been feeling really sick.
Yeah, I just... I don't.
I don't like it here.
The second we walked in,
I just... I don't like it.
Yeah, I just... I don't know.
I don't like it here.
The second we walked in,
I just... I don't like it.
I don't like it.
I don't like it.
I don't like it.
Did you guys hear that?
The ghost said "mama"
and "pond water."
It's just like that
guy's journal.
Corner Ghost said
the pond water is still.
It was totally pond water!
Okay, fine.
Maybe it was "bond mother."
Either way, there's a presence
still in this bath.
Why is it still here?
Well, that brings us back
to our story of pathetic,
lonely Mildred
and her sad poems.
Mildred lived here
for eight years in this house,
writing poems
about the romantic love
she didn't have.
A tortured artist,
you could say.
But she was finally hit
with a stroke of luck
when a handsome,
wealthy publisher
from the East Coast
named Lars Jorgensen
passed through her small town.
They fell in love,
and for two years,
they wrote each other love
letters almost every day.
Want to know what happens next?
You're going to have
to stay tuned.
All right.
For whatever reason,
this room hasn't had any reports
of paranormal activity.
Which is why I'm calling this
the safe room
and setting up my home base.
This room is now
"Wrath of Shawn" headquarters.
A closet!
Oh, no. Ghosts love closets.
I have to check.
Okay. We're clear.
What is that?
What is this?!
I do not like this!
If something happens
to me tonight,
I guarantee it'll be
because of this thing.
Okay, let's get some
proper light in here, shall we?
I think I deserve that.
If you're just tuning in,
I have just finished
my setup of the house.
Ah.
Ahh.
I better just go halfsies
on this thing.
I'm not as young
as I used to be.
No offense, Thunder.
I mean, I know it says
100% natural ingredients,
so I'm sure it's good for you.
If you're 18.
SleeplesslnSerbia...
For the love of God,
tell us what happened
to Mildred.
No, I got to keep you guys
watching all night.
TatumTot... provoke the spirits.
I am provoking them.
By being here.
Seriously I'm out?
No, no, no, no, no.
Wait, wait, wait,
don't go, don't go.
I'll provoke.
And yes, I did make a wheel of
stupid things for this.
Let me get it.
Right. See?
All right, I'll spin.
Oh, seance? Come on.
Okay, but I get
to choose the room.
We're going to do things my way.
All right?
Okay, back to
the shocking conclusion
of the Mildred saga.
After writing each other
letters for two years,
Lars asked Mildred to marry him
and move to Boston.
She was finally about to leave
what she called
"this stinky little town."
But just two days before
she was supposed to move,
Lars unexpectedly died.
She hung herself the next day
at the end of this hall.
And legend has it that everyone
who died after her
is still in this house.
Why?
Because Mildred is collecting
souls to create the family
she could never have in life.
Oh, no way!
Oh, this is too perfect!
Oh, somebody look this up
and find a year on this thing.
And the going price on eBay.
Should I be offended that clowns
wear whiteface?
I'm always out of touch
with the rules on these things.
Spirit from another time,
I touch something
that was once thine.
Come to me. I summoned thee.
Red rover, red rover,
send dead babies right over.
Geez.
I'm not sure how you're
supposed to tell the difference
between old house sounds
and ghost sounds.
Ghosts have a really...
Did you guys hear that?
It's... aah!
It's coming after me.
That was not a house sound.
That was a thump!
What kind of a house goes thump?
Here's the thing.
I was too scared to
say it back there, but...
I felt something, like... like
a vibration in my chest.
Like... it felt like.
You believed me.
I'm thinking about producing
a film starring me.
You know, I actually think
I'm good enough.
I'm going to call it
"The Excor-Shawnce"
or "Shawn-corcist."
Speaking of cysts,
I used to date this girl
that had a cyst in her forearm.
I mean, it wasn't huge, but it
still gave me the heebies.
Now my memories
have exaggerated over time.
So every time I think about her,
I imagine this Popeye arm
looking girl.
Makes me want to throw up.
We should look her up!
How freaky would it be
if we did an episode
where we drain her cyst?
You gag, you lose challenge.
Can't even think about it.
Bom bom bom bom bom bom
Bom bom bom
Bom bom!
Bom bom bom bom bom bom
Oh, come on.
That doesn't even look real.
I'm not falling for this
Photoshop hack job.
I've been using Photoshop
since eighth grade.
Okay.
All right, I'll play.
Let's pull up that part of
the time code.
Let's go there.
That was real. That was real.
What do we do?
I'm not going back out there.
That was right outside the door.
Screw the rules.
That wasn't a ghost sound.
That was a literal,
actual thing.
Like a demon or Slenderman
or something.
You all saw it.
It had freaking legs!
Damn it.
Stop. Stop. I'm not losing
my sponsors again.
Just... Just let me think.
Okay, so... so technically,
I just have to go to that spot
and I could run
right back, right?
I just need to walk
to the end of the hallway
and come right back.
There and back again.
Like "A Hobbit's Tale."
Okay, I can do this.
I can do this.
Oh, shit, I can't do it!
Come on, Shawn, you can.
The sponsors.
Okay.
All right.
All right, here I go.
Watch me soar.
Okay, I'm going,
but I need some support.
Like, can you send me pictures
of cute things like baby pandas
or dogs wearing clothes
and shit.
Shoot. Strike.
Did I leave that open?
Come on, Shawn.
You can do this.
What was that?
It's real! It's real! It's real!
What do you want from me?!
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God.
Shawn! I love you so much.
I can't believe it's you!
I'm obsessed with watching you.
I mean, watching your channel.
How did you find me?
You're not supposed to be here.
Oh, it's so good to see a human.
- Can I stay?
- Yes, please.
No!
Oh, please don't leave me.
Who are you?
I'm Chrissy.
You've probably seen, like,
a bazillion comments from me.
I'm QuizCat94.
Holy crap.
Can I just sit down for a second
and process all of this?
Of course.
Oh, I'm fine.
How did you even figure out
where this place is?
Oh, it wasn't hard.
I just pieced things together.
You accidently gave it away
when you were said...
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Stop, stop.
I don't want any more
surprise visitors tonight.
So you drove out
to the middle of nowhere
and then an hour down
a sketchy dirt road
in the middle of the night
all by yourself just to...
I just wanted
to say hi in person.
Also, I can help
with the ghost hunting.
I'm really good
at stuff like that.
Well, obviously I don't
need help ghost hunting.
I'm pretty good at drawing them
out all by myself apparently.
I'm like a frickin'
salt lick for ghosts.
- Wait, are you leaving?
- Huh?
I think I'm just
going to leave my cameras.
Why? I thought you
needed the money.
You can't pay me enough
to stay here.
Even with the record
amount of views.
Serious?
Oh.
Holy crap!
See, Shawn.
They want us to stay.
Chrissy, not trying to be
an A-hole or anything,
but they don't want us to stay,
they want me to stay.
The whole premise here is that
I'm alone in a haunted house.
Seriously?
You want her to stay? Okay.
All right. I'll make a poll.
Should she stay?
You seriously want her to stay?
It's not going to be as scary
with two people here.
Shawn, are we staying?
The engagement is really high
with you here.
Oh, this is so stupid.
All right,
let me think about this.
Okay. We'll stay.
Yes! Yes!
Hey, sponsors,
I just want to say,
I know this is technically
outside of our agreement,
but you saw that
I didn't do this.
She came on her own. Okay?
He's telling the truth.
I have never met him.
Okay.
We've got a ghost
to investigate.
Here. Take this.
It's Chrissy.
All right.
All right, let's hurry
before I think it through.
I can't believe I'm coming
out here again.
Hey, turn around. Look that way.
Turn. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Walk backwards like that.
I got eyes in the back
of my head now.
I think we should go
to the master bedroom.
No, I don't want
to go down there.
That's where Corner Man lives.
Isn't that who you saw?
Okay, fine.
We'll go to his room.
Do I still need
to walk backwards?
Yes, but look up
so we can actually see.
Okay.
Better.
Hey, Shawn.
I think people would really
like it
if you acted a little more
excited about this.
Are you fan-splaining
to me right now?
I know what I'm doing.
There it is. That's his room.
Some people legit died in there.
Chrissy!
Seriously?
Chrissy!
Chrissy, what the hell
are you doing?
I'm serious!
You scared me.
What are you doing?
Sorry. Just hunting for ghosts.
Okay. Well, new rule.
We're not going
to split up, ever. Okay?
Okay. Everything seems calm
in there right now.
Hey, to go over there.
That's his space.
You're disrespecting it.
I heard something.
I'm gonna kill her.
Before this night is over,
I'm gonna kill Christy.
What is it?
I'm good at
checking out closets.
This sounds like mice.
Whoa!
That goes way back there.
Stairs!
Let me see.
A secret room.
Let's go down there.
That would be so stupid.
Why do you think
they covered this up?
- Maybe they thought...
- Shh!
Oh, smells like
a dead feet in here.
This looks like an old cellar.
Shawn!
Oh, wow.
What is that?
It's locked.
There's probably money in here.
Do you think some of this
is Mildred's stuff?
I don't know.
What's that?
What is this?
Mildred Pratt?
This must be her journal!
Are we about to uncover
the secret of this house?
"The dianthus are blooming.
The birds are cooing.
Your visage is
in the sunlit canopies."
Oh, never mind.
These are just poems.
That's so cool.
Read another one.
They don't even rhyme.
What? Let me see.
What is that?
What is that?!
That is a dead animal!
That is a dead,
mummified animal!
No!
A secret room
with Mildred's stuff.
Do the wheel, please.
Yes. Yes. Let's do the wheel!
I'm actually excited this time.
Let's do it.
Here, Chrissy.
You can spin it.
It's on the line. Spin again.
No, Shawn.
It's not an accident.
Something wants us to do both.
Spirit board.
AVP reporter.
Candles?
I don't have candles.
I have these.
To start, I'll need you
to read the poems out loud.
No, they're boring.
- They're not boring.
- Chrissy, this is my show.
Put one of your hands
on this book.
Spirits of this house.
We want to talk to
the child spirits of this house.
Not to slendery thing.
Please.
I'm now turning the floor
over to Chrissy.
You got this.
How are you,
my spiritual children?
Listen.
Were any of you killed
by the spirit named Mildred?
Shawn, I know a chant
that always works.
Repeat after me.
No, I don't say weird things
I don't understand.
Okay, I don't know,
like, the literal translation.
But basically it's an offering
of peace to those
who may not be at peace.
Like, maybe the spirit
wasn't satisfied.
Like, maybe they wanted
more out of life.
Okay. Fine.
Okay. Repeat after me.
What was that?
The motion sensors must have
picked up something
in the bathroom.
- Let's go check it out.
- No!
You have to check out
the paranormal activity, Shawn.
You made up the rules.
That's what we're
doing right now.
We're checking out the ghost
in this room.
If there's another ghost
when we're checking out a ghost,
it gets canceled out.
"Chrissy's braver than you."
Stop it.
She's not braver than me.
She's just trying to get out
of our board game
because she's obviously losing.
"Your rules, Shawn."
Oh, give me
a freaking break, guys.
I thought you were Wrathies.
Okay, just give me a minute
to think about this.
Don't worry, Shawn.
I have a feeling that soon
you won't be afraid anymore.
Thank you for that.
What if Chrissy goes?
Sure. I guess.
But you said
we shouldn't separate ever.
But then I realized we should.
Guys, guys, whoa, whoa.
I'm not making her
go check it out by herself.
She's a strong,
independent woman,
and she's choosing
to go alone, right?
It's actually better this way
because I can look at
the monitors and let you know
if something's happening.
What was that?
Did that just move?
Oh, crap.
Chrissy?
Screw this room.
Chrissy?
Chrissy?
Chrissy!
Chrissy!
Chrissy?
Ah!
Stupid... big little lies.
What the "F" is wrong with you?
You are so jumpy.
Because there are literal
actual ghost things
happening to me right now,
and you're up here
pissing around like you
don't care about any of it,
and you're trying
to turn my fans against me.
- Shawn, it's just a joke.
- No, it's not.
Where did you even go?
Just hiding.
Where, Chrissy?
You disappear so fast.
How do you even know
where to hide?
Have you been here before?
Did you get here before I did?
No, Shawn.
Then how did you get in?
I locked the door.
- I went through a window.
- Bullshit!
You're not a huge fan.
You're a crazy stalker freak.
This whole thing has turned
into me baby sitting a freak.
Meanwhile, I got 100% legit
demons or ghosts after me.
You are officially uninvited.
Now I'm going to go back
in the safe room by myself
and Google how to exorcise
ghost children.
I don't think
that's a good idea.
Why not?
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit. I killed her.
I killed her.
I need the cops.
I need the cops.
Help!
There's been an accident!
I killed someone!
Somebody call the cops!
I'm at the old Pratt house
about 20 miles down
McGreedy Road.
I'm gonna drive into town
and turn myself in.
I'm so sorry!
It was an accident!
Chrissy?
Chrissy?
Chrissy?
I'm going to leave a first aid
kit right here for you.
What the hell was that?!
What is that?
It's her.
It's her.
It's Mildred.
Did you guys see that?
"You have to leave."
I can't leave!
She's blocking the stairs.
I'm gonna die.
What video?
Shawn, you know that thing
that was hanging in the closet?
Well, I figured out what it was.
A symbol is a hamsa.
It's hard to identify
because it's an ancient version.
But if you look at these shapes,
you can see.
These are the fingers,
and this is the eyes.
- This kid's like 12 years old.
- I don't know if you know
very much about hamsas,
but it's a symbol
that is used to ward off evil.
Everybody uses it...
The Jews, Muslims,
Christians, Pagans.
There's a whole thing
on Wikipedia about it,
but I'm pretty sure that
the people that made it were
trying to keep the evil spirits
of the house at bay.
And my guess is it was probably
working until you destroyed it.
- What?
- I'm sorry, Shawn,
but I just wanted to say
I'm a big fan,
and I think you're really funny,
and the world
should just forgive you
because you're a good person
and everybody's
too sensitive these days.
I unleased her.
I unleashed Mildred.
Somebody help me!
"Push past her..."
I can't! I can't!
Come on, Shawn.
"If she had the power to attack
you, she would have done it."
Okay, okay.
I'm gonna go try to
squeeze past her.
Yes. Yes
That's not my key.
Oh, shit, oh, shit.
Ah!
Where are the cops?
I need help. I can't get out.
"Maybe you're supposed to
use the key to open the box."
How's that supposed to help?
It fits.
Chrissy is Mildred!
I can't just jump out a window.
This is crazy. No way
am I going back upstairs.
They're not going to let me
out of this house!
I can't leave. I've just gonna
wait for the cops.
What do you mean she owns me?
Shawn, I'm a Latin professor
at Brown University.
I've translated the Latin that
you spoke early in the night
when you tried
to talk to the dead.
Shawn, that woman lied to you.
- What?
- This is the actual translation
of what you said.
I give thee my soul
and forfeit my will.
- Oh, no.
- I'm sorry, Shawn.
Can I help?
Shawn, we have a theory about
what's been happening
at the house.
We think that every ghost lives
there used to be alive,
like you, Mildred totally messes
with people's minds
and tries to make them
depressed and psycho
and not themselves until
eventually she gets them
to say the chant that
you said you said.
So, Shawn, now that you said
the words, I'm afraid that
you might feel like
killing yourself.
- That's enough.
- Don't die, Shawn.
Oh, no.
I'm not going to kill myself!
Karma for what I did?
I didn't do anything wrong.
I apologized because I had to.
I lost everything.
My parents got death threats.
I was acquitted, by the way.
No one ever mentions that.
I never said I was a role model!
I'm sick of apologizing
for being myself!
I regret apologizing, and that's
the only thing I regret!
I didn't know he was sick!
He signed a waiver!
I'm not racist!
Shawn.
What was that?
Guilty!
Ouch.
Ah! Ow, my legs!
Oh, I can't look.
I can't look.
Okay. I'll look.
I shouldn't have looked!
Where are the cops?!
Clean it?
Okay.
Oh, no.
Spark plugs.
Spark plugs.
Yes!
Oh. Yes, yes. Yes.
Ah!
Are you Shawn Ruddy?
Yes.
Oh, you're my
freakin' hero, man!
- Okay, son.
- You're never gonna hear me
say another bad thing
about the police, I swear.
Okay. I'm just happy to help.
We have to get out of here fast.
Where's your car?
I don't see your car, man.
I've been watching tonight.
It's some really great stuff.
What?
But I really don't like it
when you hurt people, Shawn.
No, no, no.
You really shouldn't
hurt people, Shawn.
Is that what this is about?
I would never hurt anyone
on purpose!
Except for you, mother frogger!
Bitch!
Strike. Ah!
I can't see.
Yes.
Oh, no! Ah!
Ah!
Help me!
They're coming to get me!
I can't go back out there.
You saw what was in the woods.
Hamsa lady? Who's hamsa lady?
Grandma were talking to that
guy I told you about.
He's in the house right now.
Tell him who you are.
My name is Hedy.
When I was 15 years old,
I lived in the Pratt house
as a nanny.
No way! She lived here?
There's a vengeful spirit
in the house named Mildred.
She came after me,
but I created a ward
to keep her powers at bay.
It's in upstairs closet.
He destroyed the house, Grandma.
Aw, shit.
He's going to die.
Can you tell him how to make
a new hamsa?
Yes!
Tell me how to put it back.
Oh, crap! Ah! Hurry.
She sold her soul to the devil.
That's why
she has so much power.
Talk faster.
And that's why your hamsa
must be equally powerful.
Ah! He's coming! Ah!
Let this be an important lesson.
The devil always betrays you.
Come on.
Just tell me how to do it!
First, you must remember that
all worthwhile counter vigils
require a sacrifice of flesh.
Aaaah!
Oh, God.
I need a weapon.
Potato gun.
Potatoes.
Come on!
Come on.
Aaah!
Yes.
Shawn! Shawn! Shawn!
No, no, no, no, no!
Ah! Ah! No! Ah!
No! Ah! No, no!
Aaah! Aah!
Did you see that, Internet?
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
No!
Somebody help! I'm dying!
I don't even know if
I'm still streaming.
This is not the way
I imagined going out!
I was supposed to repair
my image.
I don't want to be remembered as
a douchebag.
Freaking Mildred!
She's such a C.
Maybe this is karma.
Is God smiting me?
I'm sorry. Okay?
I'm sorry.
No one can even hear me.
Need to leave a note.
"Unholy hand of power"?
"Influence others
with the power of your word."
This looks like
some kind of ritual.
This must be what she did
to sell her soul.
Who knew this was
actually a thing?
Maybe there's something else.
"Nothing changes.
I am still, still, still.
I am like the pond water.
The pond water is still!"
Pond water! That's what
the ghosts keep repeating.
She's forcing them
to memorize her poetry.
What a freaking weirdo.
She's like me.
She wants an audience.
She kept trying to get me
to read her poems.
And her fianc was a publisher.
She's not creating a family.
She's building a following.
And I bet the more souls
she collects,
the more powerful she becomes.
And what can hurt someone
like me?
Copy strike, a copy strike!
Remember when I did
that sewer surfing video,
and I started singing
"Surfin USA"?
Well, the Beach Boys
record label put a copy strike
on it and claimed all my money
for that video.
What if I put a copy strike
on Mildred? Forget the hamsa.
If I can do this same
unholy hand ritual that she did,
I can claim her revenue,
her power source.
Are you following?
I can get my soul back!
This looks like a Latin.
Internet, please translate
these words for me.
I'm going to need these words
by the time I get to my laptop.
Let's de-monetize this bitch.
Hey, Mildred!
Believe me when
I say I understand
why you do what you do.
But in the words of my manager,
you've taken things too far.
Way too far.
I'm still streaming!
Can you guys hear me?
You translated the words.
Thank you.
Death becomes
unholy with the power of my...
Oh, crap.
Thank you so much, Internet.
Wrathies, I don't have
a lot of time,
but I think it's probably
pretty obvious
to everyone that I'm not going
to make it out of here alive.
And I just wanted to thank you
for helping me
and supporting me.
The truth is I think
I've known for a while
that I've been crossing a line.
I wish I could go back and
change some stuff, but I can't.
And so I wanted to apologize,
but for realsies this time.
I'm sorry to everyone
I've hurt with my stunts.
It was wrong of me
to pay a homeless man
to fight me for a video.
He seemed so much bigger than
me, and I didn't think
I could actually hurt him.
But I apologize for hurting him.
But what I didn't apologize for
was for thinking of
it in the first place.
And also, I want to apologize
to the minorities.
A lot of you thought
that I was making light
of a serious situation
when I got smuggled
across the border.
That wasn't funny.
I mean, it was,
but for the wrong reasons.
And I'm sorry.
I have been racially
and culturally insensitive.
But I've learned,
and I've grown.
In fact, I'd like to dedicate
this broadcast
to the Blacks and Mexicans.
This is for you.
This is Shawn Ruddy promising
you the most
cinematic experience
in live streaming.
Mildred! I'm waiting!
My soul is waiting!
Fine.
"Echo my heart. Echo my soul.
Bring my voice..."
"Blackbirds roam,
their voices moan."
I mean, some of these
are pretty good.
Not.
Hey, little guy.
I'm not gonna hurt you.
I think we can both agree
that mommy's
a little bit nuts, right?
I was thinking
maybe we could join f...
Ah!
Shawn!
You're going to face me yourself
or just send your child army
after me like
a frickin' PewDiePie?
Shawny. Come get me.
You come get me!
- You come get me.
- Opposite!
I'll find you in
the hallway cam.
What the hell is that?
Ah!
Corner Man, I saw you!
Ah!
I got you, you lazy...
Okay. Wait, wait, wait.
Wait, no!
Garlic!
Garlic is bullshit!
[Mumbling indistinctly]
Ah!
Shawn?
Shawn, I'm scared.
Help me, please.
You hurt me real bad.
That's not gonna work, Mildred.
Oh, shit.
Mildred!
Maybe I can help.
I have the Internet.
There's a lot of nice people on
the Internet that like to help.
No, no, no, no, no.
No.
Come on. Turn on.
Turn on!
Shawn.
I want you to meet someone.
What?!
Help!
This feels so good.
Hey.
No way.
Mm.
Mm-hmm.
No! Mildred!
The pond water is still.
Mildred, no! No!
No, Mildred!
I am the influencer!
Ah!
Aaaah!
Garlic may not work on ghosts.
But if there's one thing
the movies have taught me,
it's that holy water will f...
I'm gonna kill her.
Again.
Watch your hands! Gotcha!
No!
Smash it!
Shawn.
Aaah!
Okay.
Surprise, bitch!
Goodbye, Mildred.
I hope you enjoy hell.
Death becomes unholy with
the power of my unholy hand.
I use the power of my will,
my words,
my passion, my ambition,
and my authority
to take the souls
of this house
and bind them to me!
Wait, wait. No, no, no.
Wait, wait, wait.
Why?! No!
No!
No!
Bad Shawny.
I don't understand
what happened.
I said the words.
I'm coming to get...
Ow.
What does she want?
It's over.
Subscribe.
Goodbye, Internet.
I'm sorry I let you down.
That's that nasty finger.
What is it with Mildred
and fingers?
A sacrifice of flesh.
That old lady said that
the cult rituals
require a sacrifice of flesh.
That's Mildred's finger.
Hey, Millie!
I'm about to put a ripple
in your pond water.
Death becomes unholy with
the power of my unholy hand.
I use the power of my will,
my words, my passion,
my ambition, and my authority!
To take the souls
of this house...
And bind them...
to me!
I did it!
Oh.
I did it.
No, we did it!
We beat this house!
I just want to take a minute
and think all of my fans.
I'm getting a little emosh.
We beat this house, you guys!
Suck on that, Huffington Post!
Ow!
Oh, my leg is definitely broken.
I told you!
No one off you a more cinematic
experience in live streaming.
I, Shawn Ruddy, am once again
the number one
live streamer in...
No!