Dealing with Dad (2022) Movie Script

1
(doorknob rattles)
(water surges)
- Request for formal
Fancy Fridays,
We don't know if they're gonna
go through, but if they do,
we all will be wearing formal
wear to pick up the kids,
okay?
We are working on
replanting the apple tree
by the parking lot,
so we can have Fruit
Pick Friday as well,
so the kids can get a yummy,
healthy snack before
school and after school.
And now next on our agenda
is our annual bake sale.
Which I decided we will
not be doing this year.
- Aw.
- Aw.
- Ugh, it just feels so
tired and old school.
So I checked out some things
and I found this fundraiser,
which looks phenomenal.
Fashion sunglasses.
Aren't these to die for?
- Oh God.
- You're new here,
what's your name?
- Oh, my name is
Margaret Chang-Atlas.
And my son Nicky's
in second grade.
- Oh my gosh,
you're Nicky's mom.
Oh, he's the sweetest kid.
- Oh, thank you.
And how do you know?
- You're a snappy
dresser, Margaret?
Aren't these sunglasses great?
- Um,
I actually think
the sunglasses are a
terrible idea.
- I'm sorry?
- Okay.
Well first off, I mean,
who wants to pay $25 for
cheap looking sunglasses
they find in a school
catalog, right?
I mean, how much do
you even make off that?
Maybe five bucks a pair?
I mean, make more money just
asking people for $25 cash.
- Oh, I don't think we can
just ask people from the cash.
- Oh yes you can.
And really, I think
that the bake sale
should be our big fundraiser,
because one, people love
eating sweet baked goods.
Two, it's affordable with
a tremendous profit margin.
And three, now kids don't
have to go door to door
selling things like sunglasses.
- Well, bake sale
profits aren't that.
- Because you've
only been selling
to the kids at
lunch for one week,
when really, who
holds all the cash?
It's the parents.
So we should try selling of
them when we're picking up and
dropping off our kids
for like a month.
- Come on, how much
of a difference can.
- Well Overland
Elementary made $5,000
at their last bake sale.
- Wow.
- Oh my God.
- Yes.
- Yeah.
- Well, if you know so much,
then why don't you run it?
- Yes.
I mean, yes,
please, please,
will you run it, Margaret?
- Okay.
- Wait.
- Who wants to be in charge
of getting bake donations?
- Oh.
- Me, me, me.
- Awesome.
Let's find someone to be
in charge of publicity.
Okay.
Thank you very much.
And let's find someone
to organize volunteers,
and dad's getting
involved, awesome.
Okay, so I have to run
to a conference call,
but just touch base with one
of these team leaders here.
We'll execute a plan and
touch base next week,
okay, (indistinct).
(overlapping chatter)
Oh my Gosh, this is going to
be really exciting, right?
Too much of my mind
Too much of my mind
Too much like to do and
the way to make it right
Too much on the surface
Too much on the ground
Too much to be handled
and too much to be found
Okay.
No one ever tells
you, no one ever says
Just how hard it is
to make it to the end
No one never knows,
walk the walkie-walk
No one else can
do it like you do
Well, no one does
Oh-oh-ohoh-oh
Oh-oh-ohoh-oh
Okay.
Woh-oh-oh-ohoh-oh-oh
I can control how I feel
and I choose to feel peace.
I can control how I feel
and I choose to feel peace.
Try to get my breath
Try to try again.
Try to make it better
To try to make it end
Try to get together
Try to make it fit
Try to mix the colors
Let the peaces spin, yeah
- Call office.
- [Voice Assistant]
Calling office.
- [Eugene Sullivan]
It's Eugene Sullivan
from the (indistinct) office,
along with Leslie Keeper.
- [Leslie Keeper] Good morning.
- [Eugene Sullivan]
Just so everyone knows,
we have a (indistinct)
Los Angeles,
at Houston offices also
on board this call.
(thermos clatters)
I'll try to keep it short.
- Oh, shit, shit, shit.
- [Leslie Keeper] Yes, so,
I'll just (indistinct).
- So this is all your paperwork
for your mortgage refi and
the $35 application fee.
So the total.
- Uh.
The loan guy said there wasn't
gonna be an application fee.
- Are you, you sure?
'Cause I, usually there's.
- Can I talk to your manager?
Because I know he said there
wasn't going to be a fee
otherwise I would've
gone somewhere else.
- Actually,
I am the manager.
You know what?
I'll just waive the fee.
Okay?
As long as you promise to fill
out a positive survey for us,
the rating, or seven or higher.
Okay, um.
If you wanna just
leave your credit card,
I'll just finish up here and
meet you up at the lobby.
Okay, here's your card back,
and there's your
loan information.
- Thanks.
(sobs)
(phone rings)
- Hello.
- Roy, hey.
- Oh hi, Margaret.
- Hey, can you hear me?
Sounds like we have a bad
connection or something, hello?
- Yeah, yeah, I could hear you.
- Is something
going on with Dad?
Is he sick or something?
- I don't know, I haven't
talked to Mom and Dad in months.
- Okay, What about Larry?
- I talked to him last week,
but he didn't say
anything about Dad.
- All right, check it out.
Vintage metal lunchbox.
$30.
- Give me a break.
These you can get
released with Thermoses.
15 tops.
- It's vintage metal, Aaron.
How am I gonna pay rent
selling it to you for $15?
You live at your parents' house.
So the rent plea doesn't
really make any sense.
- 25.
- 25?
- 25, I know you
can sell it for 35.
- I run a,
fine, 25.
- Yes.
- So,
you ever gonna sell me that
Boba Fett prototype figure?
- That Boba Fett figure
is my most valuable
Infinity stone in my
gauntlet of action figures.
And it's not for sale.
Just for shits, um.
How much you want it for?
- Give you a couple
thousand for it.
- (laughs) No, I'm
not selling that thing
for less than eight grand.
- Eight?
- Eight.
- (laughs) Good luck with that.
- Margaret.
- Hey, what's going on with Dad?
- Huh?
- Dude, these are
all loose figures.
- I (indistinct).
- What, What do you
mean what's up with Dad?
- Well, I just heard
from Casey that
Dad might be sick in some way?
- Oh yeah, that.
- [Margaret] What?
- Okay, so I could give
you five for this Donatello
and 10 for this
Mego super fun guy.
- Uh, no, I know
they're loose figures,
but they're hella rare.
Have you talked to Dad lately?
- Why would I talk to Dad?
You know, I don't talk to Dad.
What is going on Larry?
- Well, he's just been a little
down since he got laid off.
- What, Dad got laid off?
- Yeah, I mean he got laid
off a couple months ago.
I mean, yeah, I think it
kind of blindsided him.
He said he wanted to work
until he was 80 or whatever.
But yeah, he's just been a
little mopey around the house,
I mean, that's about it.
- What does that
mean, mopey, Larry?
- Oh, hang on, I gotta go,
all right, I'll call you back.
- Nope, Larry, Larry do not.
Oh.
- Why does this Lion
Magazord smell so weird?
- Right, so I got
that at a garage sale
and I found it inside
a cat's litter box.
(TV broadcasts in
foreign language)
- (speaks foreign language)
- (speaks foreign language)
- Hello.
- Hi Mom.
- Oh, Margaret.
So nice to hear from
you after six months.
- Okay, I'm sorry, It's just
been crazy with work and Nicky.
Hey Mom, is Dad
sick or something?
- Oh, he fine.
Just a little sad.
He sit around for a month or so.
He need to walk around a little.
Then he feel okay.
Start yelling at people again.
- What do you mean
a month or so?
Mom, that's not normal.
Has he seen a doctor?
- Yeah,
I tell him every day.
Larry tell him, your
Aunt Jenny tell him he.
He doesn't listen.
Hey, maybe you'll come
up and talk to him, huh?
And bring Nicky.
I haven't seen my half-breed
grandson, I miss him.
- Okay, Mom, I told
you Nicky is in school,
he's just gonna have to
wait until Thanksgiving
to see his racist grandparents.
- Yeah, Margaret.
- Okay, Mom, back
to Dad, can you?
So she hangs up on me and
now I still don't know
what's going on with my dad.
- Uh-huh, yeah, well, you know,
I'm sure that's, you know, not,
why are you filing your toes?
- I always file my toenails.
- No you don't.
- Yes I do.
- No, you only file on your toes
when you're freaking
out about your dad.
Ooh, nice shot baby.
- I'm not freaking out.
Why should I care
what happens to him?
- Who's gonna take care of
whatever's going on up there,
if not you?
- Whatever.
- You know you have
to go up there, right?
- Are you freaking kidding me?
No, I don't have to
do anything Jeff.
Plus I have the big
Kellogg's project deadline.
- Yeah, and you're gonna
absolutely crush that.
But you still kinda
have to go up there.
- Okay, that's
easy for you to say
because you like going
to see your parents,
'cause your parents are nice,
they're not raging psychopaths.
When I go home, Jeff, there's
yelling, there's brow beating.
It's like walking into a house
full of rabid zombie dogs,
and I don't have a sought off
shotgun to protect myself.
So please, Jeff, gimme
a small fucking break.
- [Nicky] Mommy, did
you say the F word?
- Oh no, everything's
okay, Nicky.
- [Nicky] Is Mommy freaking out?
- No, no, Mommy's fine.
I don't know where you got that.
You know not to use
the F word, right?
- [Nicky] Yes.
- Okay.
See you in a minute.
- See you in a minute.
Hmm.
All right.
You're right.
I will go.
But you're coming with me.
- The fuck that's not
happening.
- Wait, what?
Why do I have to go?
- Because Larry's
obviously useless.
And if I go there alone,
I will either have
a nervous breakdown
or I will kill Mom and Dad,
neither of which is optimal.
- I can't deal with
them right now,
I have work and
Sherry's divorcing me.
- Oh,
she's finally doing that, huh?
- What?
what does that mean?
She told you?
- No, no, I just mean,
look, we all just
kind of figured.
- Figured?
Figured what?
When was someone to tell me?
- Okay, look, let's
discuss this later, okay?
- No, I cannot deal with
this right now, okay?
There's no way I'm
going up there.
- Oh, you're going.
- Not going, all right?
If I want abuse like that,
I would just stick
my neck with needles.
- You're going.
- Not going.
- You're going.
- Not going.
- You're going.
- Not going.
(vocal music plays)
- God damn it, these
rental cars are germ farms.
Pretty sure someone sneezed
all over this thing.
- How do you function in society
if you can't get into a car?
Oh my, a black light,
would you put that thing away?
- Okay, fine, relax.
- What are you
moonlighting for CSI?
- Oh God, where is my phone?
- You still carry
that thing around?
- Yeah.
This is the same cube I use
when I'm on the junior
high academic Olympics.
25.3 seconds.
- Mm-hmm.
Hey, so you haven't
seen Mom or Dad
since Thanksgiving
neither, right?
- [Dad] You wasted time with a
company nobody ever heard of.
- It's called a startup Dad.
And I believe in
what they're doing.
- And your hippy musician
husband make no money either.
That means your kid will
not be going to good school,
and he's gonna be a
failure just like you.
(cutlery clangs)
And look at the way you dress,
like a too bit
Bangkok call girl.
- Daddy,
is Mommy a call girl?
- No, son,
not last time I checked.
- You left Jeff
alone, that's cold.
- What?
I wasn't gonna just sit there
and listen to any more
of Dad's bullshit.
- Yeah, I mean you were kind
of going through a ho phase.
What?
- A ho phase, I was
wearing an eyeliner.
- Why do you even come home
for Thanksgiving anymore?
- Because if I don't, I
would never see you or Larry.
- Oh, you know, it's a
good thing you left early?
The next day when Sherry's
parents were over.
(overlapped chatter
in foreign language)
- Holy crap, is
Sherry's Mom okay?
- I think so.
And the facial bruising
hasn't cleared up.
- Oh my God.
- My God, Dad's the
reason why Sherry left.
He pushed her away.
Why are we even trying
to get him help?
- I don't know.
(melancholic music plays)
(doorbell rings)
(doorbell rings)
- Hello?
- Mom?
Mom.
- Ah.
Oh.
How you get in the house?
- Door's open.
We rang like three times.
- Uh, I thought Larry answer.
So you guys finally visit, huh?
It's been so long.
I thought maybe you two
get sick and die (laughs).
Oh, Roy, you get fat.
- Fine, Mom .
- (speaks foreign language)
You need to exercise.
Try bike.
Or try diet, like that
Black American Idol guy.
He very thin now.
- Talking about Randy Jackson?
He got his stomach stapled.
- That's good, try that.
- I'll be in my room.
- Yeah, I think I will be too.
- Margaret.
Where your hybrid
Obama son, huh?
I want him to give
grandma big kiss.
- Mom. I told you
Nicky's not coming,
he has school.
- Oh.
- Yeah.
- Hi,
I'm Margaret.
Sophie's daughter.
- This is my friend
from church, Shao Li.
He on work visa from China.
Very nice boy.
He play in Christian rock band.
- Jesus Rock.
- Yeah.
What kind of work do you do?
- Walmart,
jewelry department.
- Huh.
Walmart has a
jewelry department?
- Oh yeah,
- Yeah.
- Larry.
Larry.
- Okay, Newport,
we're coming around,
we're gonna attack
them from the back,
Boomhalak, I need you
to cover me, all right?
What?
No, no, no.
I'm telling,
listen to me,
tell your Mom,
tell your Mom dinner
can wait, okay?
We have to kill these assholes.
Oh shit, I see him, I see him.
Shit, shit, shit,
shit, shit, shit,
God damn it.
You asshole.
Do you know how long I've been
waiting to kill those guys?
- Good to see you too, bro.
Do you have the
money you owe me?
- God, shut up.
I told you it's gonna take
me some time to pay you back.
I see that you're working on it.
You're gonna rob an online bank
with you're mad Overwatch
shooting skills.
- I'll pay you back.
- Well, when's it
gonna start, bro?
It's been like two years.
I can't use that
money when I'm dead.
- All right, you wanna
know where your money is?
- Yeah.
What?
What are you pointing at?
- Hello?
The Star Wars figure?
- You mean that thing that looks
like a Stormtrooper got peed on?
- No, you idiot.
That's Boba Fett.
- It's not Boba Fett.
Boba Fett's like blue and got
a little like backpack thing.
- You think I don't know
what Boba Fett looks like?
Because I do.
All right?
That's a prototype.
It's like, it's
like a test figure.
All right?
It's super rare.
This is a wax model
of a Bubba Fett figure
in a a 1985 Saturday
morning Star Wars cartoon.
I got it from this dealer
who was going out of business
and he didn't know what he had.
- Are you serious?
- I know,
pretty sweet, right?
- You spent my money
on a dumb ass toy
that you can't even play with?
- See?
God, I knew you
wouldn't understand.
This isn't the figure
that you play with, Roy.
- Yeah, that's abundantly
clear to anyone,
unless you're blind, Larry.
- Okay, whatever.
It's rare, it's gonna sell.
You're gonna get your
money back, all right?
Get off my dick.
- Dude, I was gonna go
to Maui with that money.
- Well it's not like you
have anyone to go with now.
- Seriously, Larry?
- Hey, Larry.
- Hey, Margaret.
- Wow.
You have a Dragon Ball
Z shirt, what are you,
a kid extra large now?
- It's GT.
- [Roy] Oh GT.
- [Margaret] Who?
- I bet he got some
Muppet underwear on too.
- Ha-ha, yeah.
- Remember those?
- (laughs) Show us.
- Show us.
- Show us your underwear.
- Show us your underwear.
- Are you guys done yet?
'Cause it's getting really old.
- Oh, come on, relax.
So what, is Dad out or
something right now?
He's usually yelling at
somebody about something by now.
- Oh no, he is around.
It's just his room got
so full of his crap
that he moved into your room.
- What?
- [Larry] Mm-hmm.
- Where the hell am
I supposed to sleep?
- I don't know.
Maybe now you should
sleep in his room.
You just have to
clean up all the crap
that's blocking
access to the bed.
Good luck with that.
- Great.
Just great.
- Get my money, Larry.
Stinks in here.
- That's fair.
(slow guitar music plays)
- Hey Dad?
- Huh?
Oh, Margaret.
- How you doing?
- I'm fine.
- You've been in here all day?
- I don't know.
- Do you want us to
bring you something, Dad?
We can bring you some dinner or.
- No.
- Are you sure?
We can bring you some.
- No, it's okay.
I'm fine.
- Hey Dad,
I'm thinking that we should
maybe take you to a doctor.
- Why?
- I don't know,
I mean, doesn't it bother you
just laying around here
doing nothing all day?
Okay.
All right, well maybe we can
talk about it later, Dad.
- [speaks in foreign language]
hey, you need some
money for dinner?
Here, take some money.
- What?
No.
- No, no, no.
Here take some money.
- Nope.
- Nope we're good.
- We're good, that's okay.
- We got it.
- Okay, thank you.
Jesus, Larry, why didn't
you tell us earlier
he was like this?
- Yeah,
He's looking like freaking
Chinese Gollum in there.
And the freakiest part is.
- He offered us money.
- Yeah.
But it's pretty
great though, right?
- What?
- Oh come on, like
Dad never gave us
any allowance when we were kids.
Now he just hands me cash
and tells me to go get food.
- Larry, Dad laying around
all day like The Walking Dead
means something is wrong.
- Wrong for who?
- Yeah, Margaret,
your father fine.
He just need more
time to feel better.
He just a little sad.
- Yeah.
He's just a little sad.
- Yeah.
- I mean, I mean he's been
getting a little bit better,
I mean, he eats stuff now.
He's much easier to
get along with now.
Right?
Oh, oh, oh, look.
- What?
What are you doing?
- I'm opening my
mouth the whole way.
I think Dad was like stressing
me out so much before
that my jaw just clenched up,
and now I can eat
sandwiches again.
- Look, no more pile and pile
of newspaper and magazine
'cause he want to keep,
I throw them all away.
- Gone.
- You guys are unbelievable.
- He never let me
repaint breakfast room.
Now he don't care.
So me and Shao Li, we go
to Benjamin Moore store?
Pick out new color.
- (speaks foreign language)
- Okay, fine.
Things are a little
easier around here,
but he still needs to
be seen by a doctor.
- I tell him every day,
"Hey, you go see doctor",
but he's so stubborn.
- Yeah, she's right.
And also I tried
pulling him out of bed,
he kicked me in the balls.
Like, how do we help somebody
that doesn't wanna
help themselves?
- Yeah, I don't talk anymore.
I go to store with with Shao Li.
Bye,
Shao Li,
(speaks foreign language),
yeah,
come on.
- Okay, Jesus.
- Okay, who wants to eat?
- Oh, what are we gonna
do about dad, guys?
I need to get back
to work like now.
- Oh, so we're not
sticking with the
do-nothing-and-leaving-Dad-to-be
-quiet-and-nice plan?
- No,
we need to brainstorm
ideas for a plan of action
and then move forward
with purpose, okay?
Any ideas here?
Anyone?
Anyone?
Oh, oh, Gordon is a psychiatrist
and he still lives around here.
- Gordon,
he's that guy who used
the Snoop Dogg song
to ask you out to prom, right?
- Yeah, he changed the
words, it was cute.
- Okay, great.
Let's go get some food.
Who's paying?
I can ask Dad for
money if you want.
- No.
- Sure?
- Yeah.
- Jesus.
- Hi, Aunt Jenny.
- What a nice surprise,
all of you're here.
Your mom gone?
Okay, I'll stay then.
Hi Roy.
- Hi Aunt Jenny.
- How is Sherry?
Did you have kids yet?
- Oh, not yet.
She's fine.
- Good.
No, I'll make you some
of my (indistinct).
You've always loved that.
- My God,
there's nowhere
around my neighborhood
with sticky rice like yours.
- Roy, I don't believe you,
but you're probably right.
- Hey, Aunt Jenny.
- [Aunt Jenny] Oh, hi Margaret.
It's nice to see you guys here.
You come here to help your dad?
- Yeah, we're trying.
- Yeah, that's good.
If I were you, I'd
probably not wait, what,
two, three months to come help.
But that's just me.
I can only stay a few more days
before I fly to back to Denver.
But I'll tell you, I'd never
seen your papa like this.
He always had so much
energy, so many things to do.
Maybe if his kids are around
more, he wouldn't get so sad.
- Actually, I've been here.
- Yeah, but, you know,
it's you.
- Hey Aunt Jenny,
just give us a break.
I mean, you know how hard
it is to get along with Dad.
- Yes, Margaret,
getting along with
you is so important.
You know what?
I don't always get along
with your father either,
but at least he eats my food.
So I keep bringing back.
- Hey, Aunt Jenny,
has he ever called
you a Bangkok whore?
No?
Just me?
(melancholic song plays)
- You know, I don't
get it with Aunt Jenny,
why does she hate me so much?
- I don't know.
- I remember she was
so nice to me as a kid,
and then all of
a sudden, one day
she's super snooty to me.
Let me.
- What are you doing?
- What?
- What are you doing?
- I'm cutting your food.
Oh, sorry.
This is what I do for Nicky.
But doesn't it make it
easier when I precut
- Margaret.
your meat like this.
- Margaret.
- In little bite size pieces?
- I know how to eat.
- I don't know if you do.
- All right.
(plate slams on the table)
- Whoa.
- What?
- It's a lot of food.
- Is it?
- Respect.
- You gonna eat all that?
- Yeah.
- There's like a whole
fish on your plates.
- Look at all these
greens I got.
- It's like 18 pig knuckles.
- Whatever, shut up, let me eat.
It's not 18 pig knuckles.
- It's a little
bit above average.
- Three pig knuckles,
it's just pieces.
- You know what's so weird?
It's when we came home
and I saw Dad in my room
all zombie-like,
I didn't feel anything.
I know I was like,
thinking, wow, he lost
a lot of weight, but
I didn't feel sad, I
didn't feel scared,
it was like
nothing.
And that's not right, right?
'Cause I feel like if it
was you and Larry, I would,
I would just start bawling
if I saw you guys like that.
- Oh.
- With dad, it was
just like nothing.
- I mean, he's always been
harder on you than us.
- Yeah, he was, right?
Why is that?
- I don't know.
Maybe it's 'cause
you did things like,
you know, date a Black guy
just to piss him off.
- What?
No, I did not.
Oh, come on,
I did not date Jeff
because he's Black.
I dated Jeff because
he is super hot
and he was in that cool band.
- You mean Lou's Garden?
That ska band in college?
- It was very cool.
- [Larry] They were terrible.
- It sucked.
- He played the Keytar,
it's hot, it's awesome.
I mean, come on.
It's a guitar with keys,
- No one plays the Keytar.
- Everyone cool
plays the Keytar.
- Okay.
- Dad used to be so pissed
when you brought Jeff around.
I've never seen,
I didn't even know
that many veins
fit on the single forehead.
- Yeah.
- Yeah,
He looked like he had two
penises on his forehead.
- [Margaret] Oh my God.
- Just like.
- Yeah, he was so pissed that
he didn't come to my wedding
because Jeff is Black,
real mature.
- At least you're still married.
- Oh, come on Roy,
don't be like that.
- Well it's true.
- It's fine.
You know, I mean
I didn't even care
that Dad didn't
come to my wedding,
'cause I was through
with him way before that.
- When?
- I was a freshman
in high school.
- Yeah, literally, you
were so good out there.
- [Margaret] Thanks, I'm
really glad I've made the team.
- My God, you're so good.
- [Dad] Margaret.
- I gotta go.
Hey Dad, I made the team.
(slap rings out)
- [Dad] I've got the
report card in the mail.
How are you gonna get into
a good college with Bs?
- I mean, he could
have done it anywhere,
at home, in the car,
but he had to do it right
there in front of everyone.
So we drove home.
That's when I decided that
I was through with him,
that if he was gonna
treat me like that,
that I wasn't gonna have
him anywhere in my life.
Are you serious?
- Huh?
What?
- Did you listen
to anything I said?
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
Dad has slapped you.
- You aren't eating your food
(indistinct), don't waste it.
- It's literally
being vulnerable.
- Well, you know, when
I think about Dad?
I always remember the yard stick
on top of the refrigerator.
- Yeah.
- Mm.
- Mm-hmm, every time
we get in trouble?
- And he'll make you like,
walk to go get it.
- [Roy] Mm-hmm.
- And you're just holding that
35 inches of pain.
- [Roy] Mm-hmm.
- In your hand,
and he would just
raise it.
- Like this?
- [Larry] Mm-hmm.
- Just to build the
tension, you know?
And just hover on top of you.
- Yep.
- Maybe be like, ah.
(slams the table)
- Jesus.
- [Larry] Trauma.
- Yeah, well, he traumatized
me in many other ways.
- [Larry] Hey, Sarah.
- Larry Chang.
Oh my God.
How is my favorite filthy
magic (indistinct)?
- How's my favorite
low CP Bidoof?
Oh my God, how are you?
How was the Peace Corps?
- Oh man, it was amazing.
I started off in Burma,
I went to West Africa,
Macedonia, just some
really cool stuff.
Well, except for the
parasitic tapeworm I got.
- I mean, after this meal,
I might need to borrow
your parasitic tape worm.
Give it to me.
- Take it, take it.
- [Larry] Give it to me.
- Yeah, so then I just came home
to sort of figure out
what my next move is.
How about you?
What are you doing
back in Milpitas?
- Well, I've been
back for a while now.
Yeah, I started my own business.
Yeah.
In sales?
- [Sarah] Wow.
- Yeah.
(snorts)
- [Larry] Yeah.
- Wait, is that Roy?
- Hi Sarah.
- I didn't even recognize you.
- Yeah?
- I just mean, you've really,
you know, bulked up.
- Well, you know,
it's a pandemic, and.
I got a Peloton.
But my ex-wife took it.
- Oh.
- You remember my
sister Margaret, right?
- Hi Sarah.
- Hi.
- You still smoking weed?
- Yeah, I guess sometimes.
Are you still uptight?
- No, I think I've
loosen up a little bit.
- Good.
Larry, where are you
getting comic books now?
I went down to
the Comic Station,
and now it's some sort
of Chinese herb shop.
- Right, so the Comic
Station closed down.
But I go to this place
called the Comic Bug,
ran by my friend Aaron,
you should check it out.
- Awesome.
- [Larry] Yeah.
- Okay, I will.
Listen, I lost my
phone in Sierra Leone,
DM me, okay?
- [Larry] Okay.
- Let's catch up.
- For sure,
Yeah, oh my God.
I forgot.
- Ooh, I don't.
- I don't know how
to do, I forgot.
- [Larry] I don't know.
- I don't know.
(incoherent dialogue)
- [Larry] We'll,
working on that.
- All right.
- I'm a little rusty,
bye.
Oh, Sarah,
Sarah, Sarah.
Good seeing you.
- What was that?
(laugher)
What was, was that?
- What the hell was that?
- What the hell is
that softball pitch?
- Was that bad?
- No, no,
it wasn't bad,
It was just socially awkward.
- Yeah.
- I'm sweating.
- Yes, you know what?
Awkwardly desperate.
- Desperately thirsty.
How about that?
- I don't know, I'm just like,
I always had this crush on her.
You know, she's like
this perfect mix of,
she's like grungy and
she plays Pokemon Go.
And she's funny, she looks
like she doesn't shower,
you know, it's great.
- Wait, "doesn't shower
a lot" is part of your
perfect mix of a woman?
- Wrong.
I said, looks like
she doesn't shower.
- Much better.
- Very different,
it's the oil in the hair.
- You've got problems.
- That gives it more volume,
anyways.
- Wow.
- I've always wanted
to ask her out,
but she's always with
that on and off douchebag,
Scott Butler, remember him?
- Yeah, Scott Butler,
the guy who always dressed
like he was in the Matrix.
- Yeah, one time I
wanted to ask her out,
she's back with him again,
what am I supposed to do?
- Well, I always saw how you
were all googly-eyed for her
whenever she came
over with her friends.
- Really, you saw that?
- Yeah, that's why I told her
to stop hanging out with you.
- What?
- What?
Why the hell would you do that?
- So you remember when you
held that little nerd party
with your friends when Mom and
Dad went out of town to Reno?
- Yeah.
- Well, I caught your
Sarah and Adrian Roberts
smoking pot in the backyard.
- So what?
- So I wasn't gonna have
drugs on our property, Larry.
I mean, what if the cops came
and I wasn't gonna have
my little baby brother
hanging out with drug addicts.
So I made them toss their dope,
and I told Sarah to stop
hanging out with you.
- Drug, what is wrong with you?
- Well, have you
ever done drugs?
- No.
- Exactly, you're welcome.
- You're a piece of work.
- Saved your ass.
- Wait.
Was that the same party
where your band geek friends
were throwing up outside?
- I think so, maybe, why?
- (sighs) Um,
I think I hooked up
with Sarah that night.
- What?
- What?
- I was in my room and
she came in all giggly
and sat next to me
and started asking me
about my X-men comics and I.
- Roy, she was a sophomore.
- Okay, that's like
only two (indistinct).
- What's wrong with you, man?
- What do you mean?
- Why are you telling me this?
- I don't know, I, just.
- Such a dick, dude.
- Dude, don't push me.
What the hell?
What? Get off me.
- Okay, okay, hey.
- [Roy] Get off me.
- [Larry] Ow, ow, ow my back.
- Not again.
- [Larry] Ow, my
back is seizing.
I'm slipping.
Get off me.
- This is literally the
worst fight I've ever seen.
- [Larry] Stop it, stop it.
- All right, I'm
gonna wait in the car.
- [Larry] Stop it.
- [Roy] Ow.
- Get off,
get off (indistinct).
- Come on, Larry.
Get over it, let's go home.
- No, I don't wanna be in
a car full of betrayal.
- Dude, Larry, I'm sorry, okay?
I was a horny
teenager back then.
I did not know you liked her.
- Yeah whatever.
Leave me alone,
I'm walking home.
- No, don't do that,
it's like five miles away
and it's dark out.
- Leave
me
alone.
- All right, fine.
Just call us if you
change your mind, okay?
You have your phone?
- All right, Larry.
- All right.
- Jesus, were you
waiting up for me?
- No, no, no, no,
I'm just reading my emails.
- It's Milpitas, Margaret.
Worst thing that can
happen is some Asian kids
rolling up and challenging me
to game of League of Legends.
- Okay, look.
Hey, I'm really sorry
I went all crazy sister
with the Sarah thing, okay?
You know how Mormon straight
laced I was in high school.
I mean, doing drugs
to me was the same as
like murdering
kittens back then.
- You know?
I wasn't even mad at you and
Roy for what you guys did.
I guess I was just,
I was just pissed off that
still don't have the
balls to ask Sarah out.
I didn't want to let her
know that I was this loser
sponging off his parents,
buying action figures from
garage sales for a living.
- Oh, come on.
Do you really think Sarah
cares about your job status?
She like, wanders the
Earth doing volunteer work
and dresses like a
homeless Miley Cyrus.
- Is that supposed to
make me feel better?
- Yes.
Listen, if you wanna ask
your stoner girlfriend now,
then stop being a wuss
and just ask her out.
Okay, good talk.
Oh my God.
(sighs)
(melancholic song plays)
We were, we were wide awake
The sun was down,
morning miles away
Armistice, call
a truth tonight
If I'd say a word
and we cannot fight
So goes another
aching (indistinct)
Want to say it all
but I don't know how
It's alright
Alright
Ooh, ooh
It's alright
Alright
Ooh, ooh
It's all right
Alright
Ooh
(water surges)
- Come on.
- I choose to feel peace,
I choose to feel peace.
I choose to feel peace,
I choose to feel peace,
I choose to feel peace,
I choose to feel peace.
Jesus, Mom, would it kill you
to use the heater
every once in a while?
Like maybe when I come home.
- It costs money.
- Okay, so in the meantime,
we have to die of pneumonia.
- A little pneumonia good
for you, make you stronger.
- Are you wearing my hoodie?
- I'm sorry, didn't
realize it was gonna be
suburban Antarctica
in this house.
- Why is there never anything
to God damn eat in here?
- Yeah, Roy, why you so loud?
- Being loud because
I'm starving,
now I have to go out and eat.
Why's so God damn cold in here?
Are you raising polar bears?
(door slams)
(tires screech, car crashes)
- Oh shit.
(car stereo plays)
My God.
- (indistinct)
- Roy, what are you doing, Roy?
- He thinks you
wanted (indistinct),
fucking, fucking,
fucking piece of shit.
- Hey, come on, just tell
us what's going on, Roy.
Or at least just
shut off the car.
Shut off the car, Roy.
Hey, just talk to us.
What's going on?
- I looked at Sherry's
Facebook page.
- Oh God, why are
you doing that, Roy?
- Because I'm fucking
pathetic, Margaret.
And she's already moved on
with some hot douchebag
named David Sperisino.
He does CrossFit, drives
an ATV and brews beer.
He fucking listens to Drake.
- Oh,
what's wrong with Drake.
- Don't get him
started on Drake.
- Okay.
- What, I have to work out now?
Learn how to make beer and
fucking listen to Drake?
- No, hey, will you just
come out of the car, Roy?
Or at least roll
down the window?
Will you roll down the window?
There you go.
Hey.
Look,
to be honest,
lately there was nothing you
could do to make Sherry happy.
All I ever hear her saying is
you doing everything wrong.
I mean, she's like,
she's, she's like.
- She's like you?
- No, hey, a little
help here please?
- Uh, yeah,
she's right.
All I ever hear Sherry say
to you is that you
should work out more
and be more manly
and be anybody else
other than yourself.
- Yes.
But you're fine just
the way you are, Roy,
you're smart, you're a good guy,
and look, I have no idea
what Sherry wants you to be,
but if that's not
you, then that's okay.
And even Mom thinks
so, right, Mom?
- What?
No, I don't think.
- Mom, get up here.
- Okay, maybe Margaret right.
Sherry very smart,
successful girl,
maybe you need more loser wife?
Okay.
- You guys,
I appreciate you
saying this stuff,
but it still hurts.
I fucking hate Drake.
- I know.
- Uh, Margaret?
Did I come at a bad time?
- Gordy,
No, no, no, no,
hi, hi.
- Hi.
- Thanks for coming.
No, Roy's just having
his own issues.
Do you guys remember
Gordon from high school?
- Hey Gordon.
- Hi.
- Okay, we're just down here.
- Oh, Gordon,
you get so grow up
and become such good
looking doctor, huh?
You're probably married
with pretty wife, with kids.
- Oh, no, no,
I'm just mostly dating
and getting ghosted.
- Oh, that's too bad.
You and Margaret still
very good friends, right?
You like Margaret, right?
- Okay, Mom.
I think we're done here.
- You know,
I usually prefer my kid married
Chinese more traditional,
but Margaret, she
like all kind of boy,
and we all come
from same monkey.
- Okay, Mom, stop.
- What?
- Gordon and I are
gonna go talk to Dad
and you are gonna stop
talking to Gordon,
like forever.
- Oh man, he's really
lost weight, huh?
- Yeah, apparently
he's been eating,
just not that much.
What should I do?
Should I wake him up?
- Sure, I guess.
- Okay.
Hey Dad.
Dad.
Oh my God.
- Oh,
Margaret.
- Hey Dad, this is Gordon.
Do you remember him
from high school?
- No.
- Okay, well, he's a doctor
and he wants to ask
you some questions.
- I'm fine.
- So, Roy, now Sherry leave you,
you need to find new wife,
you know, before too late.
- Whatever, Mom.
- I know thing, Roy.
People at church, they ask
me advice all the time.
I like a Chinese lady, Dr. Phil.
But it's okay, I find you
a girl from church I know,
she work hard, very nice.
- I don't need you
to pimp me out, Mom.
I want to get Sherry back.
- Put some pants on first.
- How come you never sent me up?
- You have no job,
you just buy toy,
play video game,
I like to try and give
my friends some future.
- Killing me, Mom.
- Truth hurt.
- (indistinct)
- So how did it go?
- Well, after we got Dad
to stop pretend sleeping,
he talked to us
for a little bit.
- Yeah, I think we
should run a blood test,
you can check for
anemia and other stuff,
but really his demeanor
and conversation shows
a pretty classic
case of depression.
- Oh, Gordon, you and Margaret,
take picture, huh?
- Mom, no.
- It's fine.
- Not right now.
- just taking picture, smile.
(shutter goes off)
Ah, good (laughs).
- Anyways, about your
dad's depression.
- Yeah.
- I think it might have been
triggered by his layoff.
I would recommend
an antidepressant.
- Okay.
- I'm gonna start him
off with some Zoloft,
(camera shutter goes off)
and then we'll check
in in a few weeks
(camera shutter goes off)
and see if I have to try
anything different here.
- Great, awesome,
so he just takes
a few of these pills
and he's gonna be okay?
- No,
no, no, no, no, no.
You can't just take a few pills
and hope all of this goes away,
you know, it's depression,
it's not erectile
dysfunction, so.
- Oh, hey, did you have
to go there, Gordon?
- Oh, I'm so sorry.
Um, anyways, he's gonna need
some support from people,
you know, someone to get him
to go outside, talk to him.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
I mean, that seems
like a lot of work.
I mean, he's not gonna kill
himself or something, right?
- Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.
I don't think he's
depressed like that,
but you know, he should
talk with a therapist.
Plus it takes a few weeks
for the meds to take effect.
- What?
A few weeks.
I, we don't have
that kind of time.
- I'm sorry, I don't
know what to tell you.
It's kinda a tricky
thing to deal with.
- Okay.
Thank you, I, we
appreciate your help.
- Oh yeah.
- Thank you.
- Of course, yeah, it was
really nice seeing you.
- It was so good to see you too.
- Yeah, yeah, really nice, yeah.
- Oh no,
stay, stay, stay Gordon.
- Oh, no, no, thanks,
thanks Mrs. Chang,
but I really should go.
- He has to go.
- No, no, I go make some food,
you stay, be with Margaret,
a little longer, you two
such good friends, huh?
- Mom, he has to go now, okay?
He's gonna go.
- (indistinct) I sure
Gordon have time to stay,
right Gordon?
- No, Gordon does not
have time to stay.
(indistinct chatter)
- My dog is really
starving and I'm gay.
- What?
- What?
- Oh yeah, yeah, no, I'm, I'm,
it's still a secret, but
I came out
of the closet.
- Wait what, you're gay?
You weren't gay with
me in the hotel room
after they senior ball?
- Oh, no, no, no, no,
I'm not gay, I just panicked
when your Mom kept
coming at me with her
jaws of awkward moments.
- Oh, got it, that makes sense.
But you know, it would be
no big deal if you were.
- Oh, that's really
progressive, but not gay.
- Okay, so then I
probably shouldn't have
texted Casey that right now?
- What?
Please tell me you're joking.
Casey's gonna text
that to everyone.
I'm still trying to date
women that she knows.
- Okay, hold on,
"He is not gay".
- Tell her I say hi.
- We were just
joking, he says hi.
- Doctor now.
- He's a doctor, okay.
You've been un-gay'd.
- Thank you.
- Yeah.
- Wow, I really freaked out.
- I know you.
- Oh, thank you.
But you did hear about
Tim Sullivan, right?
- What?
Quarterback Tim Sullivan?
No, stop.
- Yeah, he's a bartender
now at Mother Load.
Oh, I love that place.
- You do?
- Yeah,
great Happy Hour.
- Oh.
- We should go.
- I'm sober.
- Great, okay.
So you've submitted the order
online like I told
you too, right?
- When did you
tell me to do that?
- I think it was when I
gave you the prescription
and I told you to
send it online.
- I thought you meant
check the hours of
the pharmacy online.
- For a 24 hour pharmacy, Larry?
- I thought it was
weird that you asked.
- You always check the
order online first,
so that you don't
have to wait in line.
The people who don't
are stupid people.
- Okay, when I come
here, there's never.
- You're stupid.
- Do you think Dad
really needs these pills?
I mean, guess I feel like
he's doing kind of great.
- Larry.
- No, what I'm saying,
I'm saying that he's just so
much easier to deal with now.
- No, what you're saying is,
instead of manning
up and moving out,
you'd rather Dad stay depressed,
so it's easier for
you to live there.
- Well if you say it like that,
I sound like a complete asshole.
- You said that.
I don't even know
how you've been
living with Mom
and Dad this long.
You're crazy.
- What's a big deal?
People live with their parents.
- You have a choice, Larry,
and you're choosing to live
in the house of
eternal judgment.
(coughs)
Oh my God.
- It's just, it's
just so much easier.
I don't have to cook.
I don't have to clean.
Mom and Dad like actually
enjoy having me around
because they don't have to
be alone with each other.
So I am a hero.
- Hmm, why is it that you
couldn't ask Sarah out again?
- I don't wanna talk about it.
- Are you nervous?
- I don't wanna talk about it.
- Or because you live
with your parents maybe?
- I don't wanna talk about it.
- Oh God, this is gross.
So how are we gonna do this?
- What do you mean?
Aren't we just gonna
give him the bottle?
- No, he's not gonna do
anything with these pills.
He thinks he's fine,
hold up in my room all day,
like he's Taiwan
Dracula or something.
We need to get him
to actually take it.
- Just give him the
pills, he'll take it.
- He's not going to take it.
- He'll take it.
- Won't take.
- Larry, if you're so
sure, you make him take it.
- I'm not telling
him to take it.
- Larry, go over there
and tell him to take it.
- I don't wanna
tell him to take it.
- What's he gonna do, spank you?
- Who knows with Dad,
he kicked me in the
balls last time.
- Okay, Larry, what
do you want us to do?
Hold your hand?
Take it.
- Ugh,
hey Dad, love this episode, um.
- [TV Show] Jennifer
Lopez (indistinct).
- We've got some
medicine for ya.
- Why, I'm not sick.
- I knew you would say that, but
you haven't been
outside in a while.
- No,
I'm fine.
I don't need medicine.
- Come on Dad,
what's the big deal?
I mean, just, here,
just take one.
Really helpful, Dad.
- Okay, look, Dad, this
doesn't need to be difficult.
You just need to
take these pills,
it's going to make
you feel better,
eventually.
- I told you, I
don't need medicine.
- Dad, come on, do you
think this is normal?
Just lying around all day,
watching The View?
Dad, you're watching The View,
that is not natural.
- [TV Show] She's
pregnant (indistinct).
- Look, Dad, I need
you to take this pill,
it's gonna make you
feel normal again,
and then you can go back
to making us all feel bad
about ourselves, okay?
Here.
Oh, thank God.
(spits)
God Damn it, Dad.
(a kick thuds)
Oh my God.
Oh, it's in my eye.
- Oh, not again.
- Oh, I'm going blind.
- Ow, Roy, save yourself.
- [Margaret] Ah, ah.
- Margaret, relax, you're
not gonna go blind.
- [Margaret] What are
you talking about?
You know Dad doesn't
brush his nasty teeth.
- Yeah, well, I'll
take some bacteria
over bruised balls, all right?
God, it's like, it's
like still sore.
Is it possible to internally
hemorrhage from your scrotum?
- I think it is.
Do you feel you like,
feeling the puss and blood?
- What?
- Yeah, yeah, is it
growing like a balloon?
- Okay, can we stop this
conversation please?
We need to figure out what
we're gonna do about Dad.
God, I need to fix this.
- No, can we just like,
inject him with a
needle or something?
- No, he needs to be able
to take his own medication.
Okay, I feel like we could just.
What are you doing?
- I need to check if my
balls are discolored.
- God, can you do it
somewhere else, please?
(Mom screams)
- Ah, oh my zipper.
- What are you doing?
- Sorry Mom, I'm just
checking something.
- Ah, stupid boy.
(speaks foreign language)
Roy, I want you to
meet my friend Cai Shi.
- Oh,
hi.
- Cai Shi, a very nice woman.
She come from Beijing.
- Oh, welcome.
- Yes, Roy, Cai Shi,
she is the woman I
want you to meet.
- Me for what?
- Hmm, this is the woman I
tried to get for you for a date.
- What?
- Yes, yes.
You go take her out to dinner.
- Mom.
- What?
- Can I talk to you for a
second over here, please?
- I love your skirt, it's nice.
(everyone giggles)
- Are you crazy?
- Cai Shi is really nice woman,
you haven't even talked to her.
- That's not the point.
She's too old for me.
- Nonsense.
- She younger than me.
- You are super old,
younger than you still old.
- She is good woman.
She help you with
your Mandarin Chinese.
- Whoa, hold on.
Does she even speak English?
You know what?
Thanks, but no thanks.
- Roy,
I tell her you take
her out tonight.
What I tell her now, huh?
(speaks foreign language)
- I'm not talking
about this anymore.
I'm not taking Beijing
Betty White on the date.
All right, let's go
eat now, please, okay?
- Ow, stop pulling me.
- Yes, you go to dinner
and bring Cai Shi, hmm?
- Mom, no.
- (speaks foreign language)
- (speaks foreign language)
Right, Roy?
- Wrong, Mom.
- Roy, you need
to listen to Mama.
- Not five years old
anymore, you can't make me.
[upbeat rap music]

- Well, they pushed my
project at work a week later
because I'm not
there, just great.
- Why are we even here?
It's like $40 for
cardboard pizza
with lettuce and nuts on it.
- Okay, first of all,
it's called artisan pizza
because it's handcrafted,
secondly, it's not lettuce,
it's called wild arugula
and it's delicious, okay?
And thirdly, we went to your
greasy Chinese food
glutton palace last night,
so tonight I get to choose.
Ooh, that looks amazing,
thank you.
- (speaks foreign language)
- That's what I said.
- All right, stop
complaining, I'm buying, okay?
- Hey Irvin, can I get
the most expensive
beer that you have?
Thank you.
- Dude, come on.
- [Larry] Thanks, Roy.
- God damn it, can't even
enjoy delicious pizza.
Stupid dad.
- Blame Dad 'cause
the pizza sucks.
- You know, Dad could
just take his meds
and go back to his
normal asshole self,
so I can go back to
my happy life, but no.
What?
You got a problem?
- She just got out of prison.
- Calm down.
- Sorry, I think I'm
just a little bit
stressed out right now, Roy.
You know, every
time I'm around Dad,
everything goes to fucking hell.
- (speaks foreign language)
- Hey, you wanna talk
to your girlfriend here?
- She's not my girlfriend.
- Look, I know it doesn't follow
Chinese tradition to
honor your father,
but traditionally most people's
Dads aren't assholes, okay?
Do you know how he taught
me to swim when I was seven?
He threw me into the deep
end of the swimming pool.
I almost drowned and when
I somehow finally got out,
my Dad was there yelling
at me for crying.
Hey, can we get two more of
those fancy German beers please?
- I'll take one more.
- [Margaret] Thank you.
- Bring that three.
- Guys.
- Bring that, three, yeah.
- Stop, There's a limit
on the credit card.
- (speaks foreign language)
- Yes.
- Yes.
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
- You know,
there was just one time,
just one time that Dad
totally surprised me
and did something nice.
- [Dad] I'll come back
at five, you'll be here.
- I know.
- [Dad] Wait.
- Huh,
oh my gosh,
Dad it's beautiful.
- [Dad] Yes,
I think maybe you need
a glove your size.
- Thank you,
thank you Dad.
So, amazing.
- [Dad] Remember, I
only give it to you
because you get all As.
- Glove was so cool.
It was a Mizuno
and it was totally
soft and broken in.
Even though it was brand new
and it had this side strap,
you could tighten it.
One of those finger holes
you could stick
your fingers out of?
- I wanted a finger hole so bad.
- [Larry] And you
handed it down to me,
and I use it for
a Little League.
It had, like, a
really cool name like,
the classic, or something like?
- The Mizuno Classic Pro
Soft Fastpitch Glove.
- [Larry] (indistinct) yeah.
- And it fit my hand perfectly.
It just felt like
for that one moment
Dad was actually being real dad.
- Well, he never did
come to any of our games.
- Nope, it's always the same,
he would drop us off and
then pick us up way after.
- Dad?
- You know, one time I asked Dad
to come watch my baseball
game and he was like,
whoa, why would I wanna watch
kids throw a ball around?
He was like, I'd rather
watch you clean up the shed.
- Speaking of which, that was
a nice shed not too long ago,
just stashed all my stuff,
and I ripped open
one of dad's boxes
and a baseball glove fell out.
- [Roy] Hmm?
Like baseball's in there.
Like a uniform.
That's weird, right?
- What?
Dad hates baseball.
Why would he have that stuff?
- I don't know.
Everyone's got secrets.
I know you got some
secrets, Margaret.
- What are you talking about?
- What am I talking about, okay,
well maybe I'm talking about,
I'm talking about the time
that we went to Disneyland
with Uncle Cliff's
family when we were kids.
- [Margaret] Okay.
- Wait, something else
happened besides you
throwing up on Space Mountain?
- Wait, what are
you talking about?
- Okay, so I was talking
to cousin Melanie.
- [Margaret] Okay.
- On Facebook.
And she was telling me that
she caught you and cousin Bruce
making out behind the
Indiana Jones ride.
- What?
- What?
- Oh, come on.
- Margaret.
- You believe stupid Melanie,
she's always talking
shit about me.
Okay, fine.
But who cares, he
was my third cousin?
- Oh.
- Oh my God.
- Chill out, come on.
- [Larry] Oh no.
- Gross, no, what are you,
some kind Chinese Game
of Thrones Lannister?
- Oh, come on.
- [Larry] That is.
- It was a peck on
the lip, who cares?
- Peck on the lip?
- We were 11.
- Oh my God, Cai Shi,
- [Roy] That's too old.
- Don't listen to this.
- [Roy] I had pubes
when I was eleven.
- This is disgusting,
don't do it, don't do it.
-Look, listen to me, cousin
Bruce was hot, okay?
He was like a K-pop star,
mix it like a little bit
of a basketball jock and,
oh, I'm getting a little
hot just thinking about it.
- Okay, someone holds
down Cersei over here
before she broadcasted
the entire restaurant
about her incest.
- Um,
can I incest you in dessert?
Interest.
Can I interest you
in dessert, I mean?
- No,
no we're good,
thank you so much.
- We're not
fucking.
- [Margaret] We're never
gonna be allowed back here.
- [Roy] No.
- Bullshit (laughs),
but the best, the best
was what Dad gave to me
for my 18th birthday party,
you guys remember
that by any chance?
- Your 18th, oh good,
I was so far away from here.
- It was a card, it
had a winter setting
with snowman and a
reindeer and all that.
And Dad crossed out
Merry Christmas or
whatever the hell it said
and just wrote Happy
Birthday over it.
(Larry laughs)
- What?
- Yeah, a freaking
leftover Christmas card
and he gave it to
me for my birthday,
fuck.
(giggles) Oh, these German beers
have a little kick to them, huh?
- Yeah, because you
ordered four of them,
which I paid for.
- Thank you Roy, I love you.
- Yeah, whatever.
- So I got to say, Roy,
you should have given Cai Shi
proper Good night,
not just drop her
off of the curb,
I mean, she was your date.
- She was not my date.
- She was your date?
- She wasn't.
- Actually, you should
go back and get her.
- [Larry] Yeah.
- Bring a condom.
- Oh, whatever dude.
You guys suck, I'm going to bed.
- Oh, actually don't
bring a condom because
menopause is the best
birth control for sure.
- [Larry] Dude, I hate
you both, Goodnight.
- That was awesome
Larry, give me high five.
(Larry snores)
Larry,
Larry.
God, when did you become
such a lightweight?
Oh God,
oh shit.
Oh crap.
There you are.
(melancholic melody plays)
- [TV Show] No one was doing
that, I mean, it is, okay,
a sketch comedy show around
Black themes around Black.
- What do you want, Margaret?
- What?
No, nothing.
I was just trying to
figure out if maybe
I should just go home.
- Go home, Margaret.
I'll be okay.
- I don't really think
you're gonna be okay.
- No, I'm okay, if you go home
and take care of your son,
I always knew you were
gonna be a good parent.
- You did?
- Yes.
That's something I
never learned how to do.
My papa was always
very hard on me.
- Like,
like how?
- Oh,
you know,
he spanked me a lot.
If I missed a test question,
I got spanked.
If I questioned him,
I got spanked.
I got spanked so much he
got to the point where
my butt was no longer sore.
(giggles)
- Huh.
So were you two ever close?
- Actually, no.
He always wanted me to do
so much for the family.
I guess he was proud of me,
but you,
you always know how to
take care of your son.
You were always
good with people.
Do you need money
for a plane ticket?
- No.
No, Dad.
- No, no, it's okay.
Here, take, take, take it.
- No dad, I'm fine.
- Okay,
go home, Margaret.
(TV murmurs)
- What's wrong with you?
- I think Dad gave
me a compliment.
It feels weird.
- I'm still drunk.
- No, I'm serious.
And we like talked
about his life.
- Hmm.
Maybe we shouldn't
get him better,
I like this.
(ominous thuds)
- What the hell?
Morning Mom.
Hey, what's for breakfast?
- (indistinct)
- Mom, these danishes expired
over a month ago, come on.
- It's okay.
I get good deal at market.
$1 for whole box,
manager special.
- No.
- It's fine.
- No, thank you.
- Hey, Jeremy Lin in
Chinese newspaper again.
- Mm-hmm.
- Your little Nicky
play basketball?
He could be next Jeremy Lin.
And he have Black blood too.
He probably better
than Jeremy Lin.
- Nice, Mom.
You couldn't wait till
lunch to maybe say
something racist
about your grandchild.
- (indistinct)
Margaret, I just saying,
Nicky knows his Popo love him.
- Actually Mom, Nicky
ask me all the time,
if you and Dad like him
less because he's Black.
- Mm, really?
- Yeah, Mom,
you know what,
I've never asked you this, but
is Jeff being Black
a problem for you?
- You think I don't like
Jeff because he Black?
I don't like Jeff
because he not doctor.
- Oh, that's
somewhat reassuring.
- Your Jeff, he's a good guy.
- Well look, I know
Dad will never change,
but Mom, if you wanna have
a relationship with Nicky
you need to watch what
you say around him, okay?
- Hm.
- Hey Mom,
Dad never played
baseball before, did he?
- Baseball?
Sure.
- What?
Was he forced to
play or something?
- Oh no, his Little
League team in Taichung,
they almost Taiwan champion.
- Seriously?
- [Mom] Mm.
- How come he
never told us this?
- You never ask.
- Ask.
I mean,
Dad doesn't talk to
me about anything
except him telling me what
I'm doing wrong with my life.
And if he like baseball so much,
how come he never
played with us?
- No, when I first
meet your daddy,
he always talk about
his baseball team.
Watch baseball on TV,
throw a ball with friend.
Then I get pregnant with Roy
and he decide he need to
show example for kids.
Show he work hard and
not try to waste time.
So when Roy born, he put
away all his baseball thing,
never talk baseball again.
- Wait, so Dad stopped
doing anything baseball
because he wanted to set
a good example for us,
even though we never even
knew he played baseball.
- Hm.
- That's totally stupid.
- Well you'll know your daddy,
he sometimes think
like stupid people.
- Larry, did you hear this?
Dad used to play
baseball in Taiwan.
- What?
Dad hated baseball.
- Yeah, right?
- Your daddy, he
has so many big idea
when he come to America,
have nice car, have
successful kids,
make fun Disco room.
- Disco room?
- Yeah.
You know your daddy and I when
we young, we like to dance,
he dream we put dance
floor in back room,
hang Disco ball,
color lights,
have big dance party
and dance, dance, dance.
- [Margaret] Oh my God.
- But then he get job,
we have kids,
he only think about job
things and pay for house,
save for college,
so we have smart rich kids.
No disco room.
- Geez, no wonder he hates us.
Killed the Disco room.
- How's that Danish?
- It's pretty good actually.
- Okay, stop eating that.
- [Larry] Want some?
- [Margaret] No.
Larry, are you wearing UGGs?
- Huh?
Yeah, I guess.
- Come on, what are you
a Kardashian sister?
These are for women.
- Okay, listen,
I got this at Ross,
at the men's section
- [Margaret] Mm-hmm.
- And it keeps my
feet really warm.
- Or it keeps you looking
like you have a vagina.
What?
What?
- Jesus.
You guys are all animals, God.
- It tastes fine.
- It's expired.
- Always better
after a month anyway.
- Disgusting.
- Yeah, so it's E-A-U-F-A-V-R-E.
- Hey.
- Hey.
What's up?
Looks like you found the place.
- This place is sick.
This is like twice as many
titles from the last time
that I went to a shop for sure.
- Hey, okay, so we are
completely out, but,
you've met Larry, hey man.
- Hey Aaron.
- Come on, you come over here
to sell me some more crap?
- This guy, this
is, this is Aaron.
Aaron, meet my friend Sarah.
- Oh, your friend.
- Yeah.
- Well it's a pleasure
to serve you, M'lady.
- Oh.
- You know, Sarah and I
were actually talking before
and she's going to Tokyo.
She's really interested in a
lot of the same stuff I am.
Arigatto.
- (speaks foreign language)
(both laugh)
- Anyway, the Miles Morales
comics are coming in next week.
- Okay, great.
I'll come back then.
- Thanks Sarah.
- Thank you.
So what are you getting?
- Oh, I'm getting the,
the latest edition of,
did you want to grab dinner?
- Like right now?
- Yeah.
- I'm actually meeting my
mom for dinner tonight.
- Oh yeah?
That's okay.
That's fine.
- I could do any day next week.
Yeah, you know, actually,
do you know a good place
for those little tiny
delicious bao thingies?
- Yes.
I actually,
I actually know a
couple of places.
- Awesome.
- Yeah.
- Okay, great,
then let's do that.
- Let, let's do that, yeah.
- Okay, great.
- Right.
- I'm gonna go see my mom.
- Go see your mom.
Tell her I miss her.
- You miss my mom?
- No.
Yes, she's great.
Just, no, don't say that.
- Okay, weirdo.
I'll see you next week.
- Yeah, bye.
- Bye, Aaron.
- Take it easy, Sarah.
Catch you on the flip, Sarah.
- Really?
M'lady?
Kissing her hand?
What, are you're running
a pervy Renaissance Fair?
- It's called being charming.
I read Tucker Max.
- Hey, whatever.
All right?
Just not with her.
- Whatever.
- Whatever.
- Whatever.
- Whatever.
- Whatever.
- Whatever.
- So I guess now is a
good time to talk to you
about this business opportunity?
- That's good.
Oh, I'm so sorry.
- Ah, wait, are you,
are you Roy Chang?
- Yeah,
do I know you?
- No.
But you have been served.
- What is this?
- Just sign the divorce
papers or go to court, okay?
- Hey, come back here.
- Christ.
- Come back here.
Hey, hey, sir?
Hey, what did you mean by court?
Huh?
I haven't told Sherry
I could change yet.
- Look man, I don't care about
your love problems, alright?
But you better get out
of the women's restroom
before someone calls security.
- Well, you are a guy too.
- Yeah, well, no, I'm
just, I'm, you know,
gender fluid or
whatever, all right?
Can someone call security?
- Hey, hey.
I'm not leaving till
you take this back.
Take this back, you hear me?
Take this.
You never been served before?
Well, me neither.
Come on man, help me out.
Oh, great.
And I'm getting hassled
by the grandma SWAT team.
All right, you got me,
what are you gonna do?
(electricity crackles)
- Oh God.
- Um,
sorry about what happened
at the bathroom before.
Oh God.
- Okay.
(laughs)
- Who's, the hell
is wrong with you?
- Okay, well, she was
gonna call the cops,
but I explained to
her your situation
and turns out she's
also a divorcee
and was somehow sympathetic, so
she's letting you out of
Chinese mall's Shawshank.
- Marg, Sherry didn't even
give me a chance to
make things different.
- Roy, didn't we
already talk about this?
Back at your psycho car
crash in the front yard.
- I know, but
she liked me enough to
marry me once, right?
Don't I have a little chance?
- I mean, she just
served you papers, Roy,
I don't really
think that's a sign
she's looking to
change her mind.
People,
people drift apart, Roy.
It just happens.
- I guess I'm not capable
of changing anyway.
- Then you shouldn't have to.
There are plenty of people
who like you just
the way you are.
So you need to move on
and stop drowning
your sorrows in food.
- Yeah.
Hey,
can we go to Taco Bell?
- No, absolutely not.
- You know, Dad's not
gonna change either.
If we get him better,
he's just gonna be an
asshole again, right?
- I guess,
ah you know, after
all these years,
I thought things would
change between Dad and I,
but after moving away
and having a kid that
we'd be able to have,
I don't know, something
like a relationship.
But God, you're right,
Dad's never gonna change.
So where does that leave us?
- I don't know.
- Okay, come on, let's go.
- Oh, I can't.
- What do you mean you can't?
- My back gets all seized
up from that stun gun.
You're gonna have to lift me up.
- No, Roy, you're
like 300 pounds,
I can't possibly carry you.
That's insane.
- Jesus, Margaret,
I'm not that heavy, please.
[Margaret] I mean.
- Just carry, Margaret,
come on, I need your
help, please, please.
- God damn it, Roy,
I'm not helping you.
- [Roy] I need your help.
- Help yourself.
- [Roy] No.
- Let's go.
- Margaret, please.
Margaret, that grandma
cop's gonna come back.
Ow, my back seizing.
It's seizing, ow, ow, ow, ow,
uh, I need some Tiger Balm,
do you have Tiger Balm?
Ow, (indistinct)
Oh God, (indistinct)
- [Margaret] Just
a few more steps.
- [Roy] No, no,
you've come too fast.
- [Margaret] You're doing
great, you're doing fine, okay?
- [Roy] Ow, hold on, hold on.
- Larry, a little help here.
- I did it.
I asked Sarah out.
- Wait, what, seriously?
Wow, you actually did
something I told you to do?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Now I actually need to
convince her that
I'm not a loser.
- Oh, come on, Larry.
Get over it,
I mean, who cares?
I know I give you shit about it.
But like you said,
a lot of people live
with their parents,
so just own it.
- But this is not what
I expected of myself.
I'm 33.
I'm supposed to have
a job, kids, a Bimmer,
one of those 411Ks or whatever.
- 401K, Larry.
- Okay, yeah, yeah, whatever.
I just need to convince her
I'm a grownup,
I'm a grownup.
- Ugh, God.
Okay, Larry,
do you want to know what
it means to be a grownup?
Means doing shit about things,
not just whining about it.
It's not about the 401Ks,
it's not about buying
expensive cars,
it's about not giving your kid
an iPhone in the
fucking third grade,
or telling the guy
who cuts in front of
everyone in the line
at Target to get back
when no one else
will say anything,
or trying to help
your Dad get better,
even when he's a
fucking asshole.
So if you want to be a
grownup Larry, just do it.
- Do or do not.
There is no trying.
- What?
- That's, I mean, that's
not actually how he talks,
but that's Yoda said that.
- Yoda?
- [Larry] Yes.
- From Star Wars?
[Larry] Yes.
- Okay, fine, Larry,
if you need to hear it from
a fucking Muppet, great,
but seriously, it's that simple.
You're fine.
You're a college
graduate, I mean,
granted, it's from
UC Riverside, so.
- Hey,
UC Riverside's up and coming
university, all right?
- Okay, sure, fine, yeah.
- Wow, okay.
You know what?
Sometimes talking to you,
it's like talking to a
female version of Dad.
- Wow.
That's like the most hurtful
thing you've ever said to me.
- I didn't mean what I,
I didn't mean what I said,
even though I said it.
- [Roy] That was low, bro.
God.
- Hm.
- Hey, Aunt Jenny.
- Oh, hi.
- Okay, what's your deal?
- What's my deal?
I don't understand.
- That, your
attitude towards me.
I don't get it.
- You think I give you attitude?
- Okay, did I do
something to offend you?
Because all I ever get
from you is this coldness
that you never give
to Roy or Larry.
- Okay,
maybe I don't like that you
never treat your father right?
- You don't like that, what?
You don't think I treat my,
are you freaking kidding me?
You know that man basically
mentally abused us, right?
- Do you know what
he went through
to come to this country?
To go through American
College with no money
and still send money
home to the family?
- Okay, yeah, sure,
fine, I can respect that,
but that doesn't
give him the right
to be a jerk to
me my whole life.
I mean, do you know?
I can't remember
the single time that
we laughed together
about anything.
We can never just like hang
out or go to the movies.
- So all you worry about is that
he never goes to
the movies with you?
- Okay.
- You don't understand him.
You know, our father
was very strict.
He beat us when we don't
do things right, all right?
Your father never learned to
be a father like you see on TV,
the only way he knows
how to be a parent
is to yell at you so you
feel bad about yourself.
- Okay, I don't really feel like
that's helping your
argument there.
- You, you need to
respect your father more.
All right?
He does so much to make life
good for the family, for you.
- No, my life only
got good after I left.
- He always tells me,
you're the smartest.
- He said that?
- Yeah, he told me a few times.
But you always show
no respect for him,
for the elders, for me.
- For you?
How?
- Yeah, like when
you're younger, huh?
I never understood,
it makes me so mad,
I know that how much you
love to play softball.
- Okay.
- Yeah, so I bought some really
expensive softball gloves.
And I send it in the mail,
and you never thank
me, not a word.
- What glove, Aunt Jenny?
I never got a glove from you.
- Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
You got glove.
I saw pictures of
you with the glove.
I saw you play with it all
the time, but not one word.
Okay?
I didn't get any phone calls,
no mail, no letters.
I see you on holidays - nothing.
- You, you never
bought me that glove,
you just gave it to me and then
claimed that you bought it.
- What?
Glove, I don't understand.
- The softball glove, dad.
The brand new Mizuno
dark brown glove
that you gave to
me when I was 12,
that you said was from you
when really all along
it was from Aunt Jenny.
- I don't,
oh,
that,
I never said.
- Yes you did, Dad.
You said it was from you and I
believed you this whole time.
It was the only fucking
thing I had to hold onto
that prove there was any God
damn humanity left in you.
- I'm sorry, I.
- Sorry?
- (speaks foreign language)
- I'm the one sorry, Dad,
I'm sorry that I
even came up here,
because I thought I had some
sort of God damn obligation
to care to try to help you.
It's just figures
that what little love
that I thought was from you
wasn't even from you.
Because now I know Dad,
now I know for sure that I
don't need to give a shit.
- I,
I know,
I know I did a bad thing.
- [Margaret] Yeah (indistinct).
- I don't know why I did it.
I,
I just,
I just did it.
(cries)
- Yeah, you did.
Just like everything else
you've ever done to me.
- Whoa, what the
hell's happening?
- Nothing, don't worry about it.
- Oh, come on, you
tore a place apart.
- Let's just say that what
little respect I had for Dad
was actually just a re-gift.
If I stay here
one minute longer,
I will seriously kill Dad.
So I'm going to the airport
and getting the
first flight out.
- Whoa, you can't leave.
You have to make
him take the pills.
- What's the fucking point, Roy?
It doesn't matter
what I say to him,
he doesn't listen to me,
so why stay here and
feel more like shit?
- Hey, I don't know
what you have to say,
but you are the one
that has to do it.
Come on.
You are the one that Dad put
in charge when he left town.
And you're the one
he yelled at the most
when we got in trouble,
'cause he expected
the most out of you.
You know, usually that
falls on the oldest son.
And I just never had
my shit together.
I'm like the Fredo
from Godfather.
- Fredo?
What are you talking about?
You mean the tough one?
Are you talking
about James Caan?
- No, no, no, no, no,
that's Sonny,
Fredo's the one
that was balding,
you know the guy,
"I knew it was you of Fredo".
- Yeah, he's in the boat.
- Broke my heart.
- He kills him?
- You break my heart.
- [Roy] You broke my heart.
- I don't know guys, I've
never seen Godfather 2, so.
- You've never seen
the Godfather 2?
- Wow, what the hell?
- I mean, that's a classic.
- I don't know.
- [Larry] De Niro,
the whole Cuba stuff.
Damn.
- That's really.
- I don't know. I don't
like mob movies, okay?
Relax.
- Okay, what was
I talking about?
- I don't know,
'cause Rotten Tomatoes over
here keeps busting my balls.
- Okay.
Dad.
Listen,
I know he's been a bastard
to us all our lives, but
he kind of made you
who you are, right?
- Yeah, what, a neurotic
OCD hypochondriac?
- No.
Yeah.
Yes, he's mentally abused us.
And yes, none of us can be
in the same room with him
without wanting to strangle him.
But in his own fucked
up way, he raised us.
That's gotta come for something.
- he needed to give up baseball
and the party Disco room for us.
- Look, if there's any chance
that Dad's gonna
listen to anyone,
it's gonna be you.
- Yeah, you're like
Neo from the Matrix,
you know, like the
chosen one, like,
but you didn't know
you were the chosen one
until you met
Morpheus, all right?
You go down the rabbit
hole and then you gotta.
- Where are you going with this?
Where are you going with this?
- Okay, what I'm
trying to say is
that you're the only one
that can talk to Dad,
because he actually
respects you.
We all respect you,
which is
why we,
why we need your help.
And
which is also why I,
I wish you were around more.
- What?
What did you say, Larry?
- Ugh.
I said
I wish you were around more,
because you keep us
off from losing it.
- God damn it, Larry.
How come you've never
told me that before?
- Because I hate you
telling me what to do.
- Just,
I still don't know
how to talk to Dad,
let alone convince
him to do anything.
And every time I engage
with him, I just get hurt.
- Why do you care
what he thinks?
- I don't know.
- You have built an
incredible life for yourself.
You have a great job,
you have an awesome husband,
a cool kid, I mean,
he can't hurt you
anymore, right?
(water surges)
- [Larry] Hey.
- [Roy] Yo.
- What's that?
- Divorce papers,
signed them.
- Oh man, you finally
moving on, huh?
- Yeah.
- Ah, well, maybe this
will cheer you up.
Maybe you can finally go to Maui
and find yourself a
nice Hawaiian girl.
- You have enough money
for a checking account?
- Ha-ha, yes,
asshole.
It's money I owe ya,
sold the Boba Fett prototype.
Aaron's been wanting
it for a while, so
he gave me a good price for it,
should be enough for me to
put a deposit down on a place,
and Aaron wants to travel
more, so he asked me
if I wanted to work at the shop.
Plus he's gonna let
me sell my toys, so.
- God damn, that's awesome.
- Yeah.
- Hey Roy, it looks like
our flight's on time,
so we're all good.
What's going on?
- Well,
Larry and I are entering
into a new phase
of our pathetic lives.
Yeah, I signed my divorce papers
and Larry got a job
and he's moving out.
- Ha-ha, it's very funny guys.
What, you're serious?
- Yeah, I guess your annoying,
know-it-all stuff can make
a difference sometimes.
- It's very touching, Larry.
- All right, so
I've been thinking.
- Oh God.
- I'm trying to figure out
how I can help Dad get better.
- Okay, well, I mean, you
heard what Gordon said.
Can try to take him out
every day for a little walk.
- How am I gonna
get him of his room?
- There is one time of the
day he does leave the room.
(toilet flushes)
- Hey Dad.
- What you want, money?
- No,
maybe later,
but I was just thinking
that, you know,
maybe we should go on a
walk and get some fresh air.
- I don't need to walk.
- Oh,
I mean, I'll get you back
in time for Judge Judy
or whatever you want.
- Judge Judy, it's over.
It's time for Ellen.
Don't want to walk.
- Dad.
- Dad.
- Dad, let's go for a walk.
- Okay.
Enough walking.
I go back in.
- Well, that actually went
better than I thought it would.
You all packed?
- Actually, I think
I'll stay another week.
Help Larry with Dad.
- Really?
- Yeah.
You got your kid and work.
Let us be the adults this time.
- Okay.
I am good with that.
See, you're not totally
Fredo after all.
- Hey, hold on.
You're going to
talk to him, right?
- [TV Show] And John, you
love your wife a lot, right?
All right, I think it's time
to hear your wife's
secret confession.
Julia, you came here today to
tell your husband something.
Go ahead.
- Okay, listen Dad, if
you wanna feel better,
you need to start taking
these pills, okay?
Once a day.
It might take a few weeks
for you to feel anything,
but just keep taking them.
Larry's gonna come in every day
and take you for a little walk.
So please, do not kick
him in the balls again.
And Roy and I are
gonna start paying
for a therapist to
come on Mondays.
He speaks foreign
language, don't worry.
If you don't wanna talk to
him, fine, you don't have to.
But he's gonna be here.
Try not to kick him
in the balls either.
- [TV Show] And the waitressing
was paying me, you know.
Time to hear your wife's
secret confession.
Julia, you came here today to
tell your husband something.
- Why you change the channel?
I don't like baseball.
- Okay, you don't need to
lie to us anymore, Dad.
Yeah, that's right,
we discovered your dirty
little baseball secret.
You don't have to
try to teach us
anymore stupid lessons, okay?
You can like baseball again.
We're all grown up
and fine now, Dad,
even Larry.
Mostly.
So just watch some
God damn baseball.
- Ah.
- Read that you need light, Dad.
Darkness makes it worse.
(TV murmurs)
God, do you know that I've
hated the way you've raised me?
The way that you've treated us?
I mean, I know you think
that you were doing
what was best for us,
but in the end you
completely destroyed
any sort of real relationship
that you could have had with me.
And you know, I have all these
complexes because of you.
I need to be in
control of everything
at all times or I go crazy,
like a little God damn
wacko because of you.
- I'm sorry.
- Sorry, I don't think
that you're sorry, Dad,
because you're not
well right now.
God, I don't even know
why I came up here.
Well, I'm kicking my own ass
to try to help you get better.
I just, I guess I just
feel like I'm supposed
to have some sort of
relationship with you.
But God you make it
so fucking hard, Dad.
- [TV Show] Stanford - 1,
Campbell University- nothing.
- I guess I'm just,
I guess I'm just
supposed to accept
the relationship that we have.
You know, this is the first time
that I've ever learned
things about you?
Personal things that I could
never have even imagined.
And it's really made
me understand you
-so much better, but
I just wish,
I wish that we
would've been able to,
I wish,
I wish that you would've been
able to talk with me more.
I think it would've helped us,
both of us, Dad.
God, I don't even know why
I'm trying to talk to you,
you don't even
listen to me anyways.
So you know what, I'm going
to try things your way.
Okay, at this point, Dad,
I don't really give a shit if
you get better or not, okay?
But if you want to feel better,
it starts by taking these pills.
Look at me?
Dad, you have a house
that's paid off,
you have money,
you have three kids,
your Taiwanese American
immigrant dreams
have been achieved.
So ask yourself, what do
you have to be sad about?
What?
Yeah, that's right,
you have no real
reason to be sad.
So the only thing that can
be making you feel this way
is something that your
body is doing to you.
Something that can be helped
by taking these pills,
listen to me, Dad.
Listen to that
logical accountant side of
your brain, Dad.
I know.
I know that,
I know that it's
still in you, Dad.
Okay.
Well, if any of that
makes any sense to you,
please just start taking
your God damn meds.
- [TV Show] Which is well
outside (indistinct).
(door closes)
(indistinct) right now
with a count in his favor,
three balls and a strike.
Had a good cry
Now I feel better
(indistinct) shines
after Stormy weather
Had a good cry
Had to surrender
Only so much you
seal in a letter
Now, Goodbye
Yesterday's shackles,
wash them away
They lost their battle
Wash them away
Wash them away
- Mommy, we're here.
- Ready?
- Popo.
- Oh, look, it's my
favorite little half,
baby,
half sized baby.
- I'm not a baby.
- You always be my baby, hm?
Hello, Jeff.
- Hi, Sophie.
- Who wants candy, huh?
- Yay.
- Hey, Mom, no candy, please.
- No, that, okay.
- Oh, shit, hey.
- Hey.
- Hi.
- Hey, how you doing?
- (indistinct)
Can I make you a coffee?
- I'd love one,
are you kidding me?
How, you saw that?
- Oh, look who decided
to finally show up.
- Ah, shut up.
Hi.
Our flight was delayed.
How is the new apartment?
- It's great.
I just needed to
plug into my internet
and my Xbox and I was good.
- Yeah, and he pretty much
hasn't opened any boxes since.
- Oh, hi, Sarah,
didn't know that
you were coming.
- What, and miss the
Chang Thanksgiving circus
I've been hearing so much about?
Oh no, I was coming.
Even though you banned me.
- Well, don't say I
didn't try to save you
from all this nightmare.
- [Dad] (indistinct) Larry, Roy,
have you moved the table yet?
What are you waiting for?
- Jesus, Dad, it's Thanksgiving.
We're supposed to be
hanging out with family,
not moving furniture,
can you calm down?
- [Dad] I'll calm down
when you move the table
like I told you.
- Oh my God.
- And so the circus begins.
- Hey Dad.
- Margaret, why are you so late?
Everybody's waiting
for you to eat.
- Good to see you too, Dad.
- And where's your lazy
musician husband, huh?
Hey Jeff, can you and Roy
help Larry move the table?
- Are you gonna help?
- (indistinct)
I'm an old man,
you're young.
Jesus.
- He's better now, you happy?
- And, wait, wait, wait,
don't scratch the wall
and don't forget to
put it out on the curb,
otherwise the trash man
will not pick it up.
- [Larry] Alright, we heard you.
- So Dad, guess
you're feeling better.
- What do you mean better?
I was always fine, I
told you that before.
What?
- Nothing, Dad.
- All right, so you
bring your boy over here,
it's time to eat.
(indistinct) where is
the God damn food, huh?
I'm looking for the food.
(indistinct)
(slow music plays)
(indistinct chatter)
- Are you watching
the game this weekend?
- Can't, I have a date?
- Are you serious?
- Yeah, my first date,
I'm (indistinct).
[speaking in foreign language]
- Yeah, I walked in on them.
I was sleepwalking last week
and I walked inside, yeah.
- [Person Off-Camera]
Well, during the pandemic
I was watching lots
of stand-up comedy,
and I saw (indistinct).
All right
All right
Glad you're back
Glad you are here
It's been so long
Oh, we missed you dear
All the ways
you were with us
All the ways we
were with you
You're still yourself
Well you act the same
You break hearts
You make us ache
But dear, you
know we love you
Even though we
wish you'd change
Smile the whole way through
'Cause that's all
that we can do
Sure, it could be better
Truly not with you
Wo-oh-oh
It's been a while
It's been quite a year
When you got lost
Oh, we lost it, dear
But things got
kind of peaceful
Even if a little weird and
I confess, it
was pretty nice
We found the words
Oh we found the time
Now you're back in our world
And we're outta our minds
Oh, smile the
whole way through
'Cause that's all
that we can do
Sure, it could be better
But surely not with you
Ho-ho-Ho
Ho-ho-ho
Yeah, it could be better
But I guess I'm
glad it's you
What else can we do