Decrypted (2021) Movie Script
1
- [Narrator] Bitcoin was
invented by an unknown entity
using the name Satoshi Nakamoto
and released as open-source
software in 2009.
It was the first
decentralized digital currency
or cryptocurrency and
is beyond the control
of banks and governments.
If cryptocurrency
is widely adopted,
the entire banking system
could become irrelevant.
World governments
would then be unable
to control financial policy.
For this reason, the
Trump administration
classified Satoshi Nakamoto
as a terrorist.
[intense melodic music]
[melodic jazz music]
[melodic militaristic music]
[intercom buzzing loudly]
- Uh!
[Colonel Pike inhaling deeply]
[intercom beeping]
Yep?
- Colonel, Warrant Officer
Gomez, we met at the briefing,
I'm your point man on
the London operation.
I thought you'd like
to know Captain Johnson
and Special Officer
Barnes are en route.
- Let's hope this ain't
another wild goose chase.
- There were a couple problems.
Our only unoccupied
safe house in London
is being redecorated
after the CIA borrowed it.
- I was promised that'd
be spick-and-span
by the beginning of the week.
- Yeah, they couldn't get
the blood off the walls.
So I've had to put
Johnson and Barnes
in our London
entertainment apartment.
- Johnson's tougher
than a $2 steak,
I'm sure he'll figure it out.
What's the other problem?
- Because of the
rapid deployment,
I'm afraid I didn't have time
to properly vet the
Special Officer.
- Well, all he's
gotta do is verify,
that the asset knows the target
and verify that the target
is actually Satoshi Nakamoto.
- It's a she, sir, Beth
Barnes from Cybercom.
She's our leading
expert on crypto,
but she knows nothing at
all about covert operations
and has never been in the field.
She's a rookie.
- Holy Christ!
- [Gomez] I'm really sorry, sir.
- Okay, okay, just don't
get your panties in a wad.
We can handle this.
Relax.
Unwind.
Take it easy.
- Yes, sir, thank you, sir.
[intercom beeping]
[Colonel Pike breathing deeply]
- [Buck] So you've never
been to the NSA gift shop?
- [Beth] [laughs] I
didn't know we had one.
- Yeah, it's in the
Cryptologic Museum.
- Well, what do they sell,
caps and bumper stickers?
- Yeah, pretty much.
But here's the thing,
[doorbell ringing]
and this is the
God's honest truth,
every single thing they sell
in there is made in China.
- Seriously?
- Yeah.
- Cybercom has 1000 personnel
working round the clock
to hack Chinese
computer networks.
- Yeah and they've
all got bugged caps.
[Buck knocking]
[door lock beeping]
[door clicking]
Buck Johnson.
- [Beth] Beth Barnes.
[door opening]
- The internal surveillance
system's in here.
- Yeah, good energy.
Yeah, nice ambience, I
think we can work with this.
- Bedrooms this way.
[tense melodic music]
There are useful numbers
in the file folder,
that cupboard contains
the operational resources,
Captain Johnson's pass
card will give you access.
[drapes rattling]
[cork squeaking]
- I can tell you're a rookie.
- I've been at the Agency
for 18 years, I'm the most-
- [Buck] You don't know what
operational resources are.
- Well, that's your department,
I'm here to give
technical advice.
- How many ops?
- Have you never worked
with a woman before?
- So you've never
been in the field?
- The Agency is changing,
more and more of us are
being sent on missions,
whether you guys like it or not.
- Yeah, well, don't sweat it.
- Don't you sweat it.
I'm properly briefed,
fully prepared
and more than equal to the task.
- This 20-year old malt's
amazing, you want one?
- We're on duty.
[whiskey pouring]
[melodic drumming music]
- [Buck] I'm going
for the first asset.
[door lock beeping]
- [Beth] You're meeting
with Sofia Perez?
- [Buck] Yeah, I'm meeting
with a Columbian chick.
[blade whooshing]
- She's not a chick.
To give you some
background, Sofia grew up
in one of the flashpoints of
the Colombian armed conflict
and both her parents were
killed by mercenaries.
- Well, there could be
some leverage in that.
[gun clicking]
- [Beth] She will have been
completely traumatized by that.
She's a vulnerable,
displaced woman
and we need to look
out for her wellbeing.
- Keep a lid on the
sentimentality, soldier.
She's a potential source
of intel, that's it.
And make sure all these
drapes are closed.
[intense drumming music]
- Fuck you.
[drapes rattling]
- [Connie] This must
be macho man's partner.
[camera clicking]
- [Martin] Right, let's
find out, shall we?
[computer beeping]
- Why haven't you
been suspended?
- Because it's an
unsubstantiated claim.
- Well, it's a good job
you're not an actor then,
they'd have burnt you
at the stake by now.
- I was just being
nice to the guy.
Maybe a little effusive
because that's my way,
but definitely friendly.
- I didn't know he was
a bloke. [laughing]
- I just put my arm around
him at the coffee station,
'cause I found out we were
both Chelsea supporters.
That's a big deal in my family,
I take my wife and kids
to most of the home games.
- What, that's it,
was he a racist?
- No, it doesn't seem likely.
80% of the Chelsea squad
are foreigners, so.
[tense orchestral music]
[Beth sighing]
[phone ringing]
- Warrant Officer Gomez.
- [Beth] Hi, this is
Special Officer Beth Barnes.
- Hey, how's it going?
- Not so good actually.
I'm sorry to have
to tell you this,
but things in London have
gotten way out of control.
There is a menu in the kitchen
for a range of recreational
drugs and prostitutes.
God knows what kind of
operational resources
they have in here.
- Have you discussed this
with Captain Johnson?
- You need to get
someone from Oversight
down here as fast as you can.
- Chain of command,
Special Officer Barnes,
you need to speak with
your field commander.
Thanks for calling.
[computer beeping]
[soft tense music]
[Beth sighing]
[Beth breathing deeply]
- Oh, fuck!
- He's seeing an American woman.
- Callum?
- I bet she's some ridiculous
bimbo like this one,
nipped and tucked and
fucked by all comers.
- Sounds like you got
her all figured out.
- Empty-headed, narcissistic,
cheap, horrible,
stupid, spoiled, selfish, vain.
[tires screeching]
[car rumbling]
You seen that?
Steven Seagal's got a
woman in a full face hood
and it looks like her hands
are cuffed behind her back.
- A rendition at an
entertainment apartment?
- Hm, two possibilities,
she's a suspected terrorist
or they've got some
weird S&M thing going on,
either way, she's about to
get well and truly fucked.
[tense melodic music]
- I'll call it in.
- [Sofia] What is going on?
What are you doing please?
- Turn around.
- Please let go of me.
- Goddammit!
[drapes rattling]
[suspenseful jazz music]
[tense melodic music]
- Oh, my God.
What has he done to you?
Sofia?
Hi, I'm Beth Barnes from
Cybercom at the NSA.
You look uncomfortable.
- This is nothing, the
last time I was handcuffed,
I was beaten black and blue.
- Oh, my God, by who?
- The FARC, national police,
various right-wing
self defense groups,
they all hate my kind.
- Well, look, I am
not gonna let anyone
lay a finger on you here.
You're on US soil
and you have rights.
- [Buck] Mm-hm.
- We just wanna know
about an Asian guy
you've been talking to.
- Toshi?
- [Beth] Maybe, how old is he?
- [Sofia] Early forties.
- So you've been seeing him?
- [laughing] Yeah, we hooked up.
- What does he do for a living?
- [Sofia] He's a tech guy.
- Oh, what kind of tech?
- Hm, you're very interested
to know about him, yes?
So this is valuable information
and that has a price, my friend.
- What do you want?
- [Sofia] American citizenship.
- I'd like to help
you with that.
- [Sofia] I need it in writing.
- Alright.
[tense melodic music]
Listen, you bitch, I know that
you're an illegal immigrant,
so unless you play ball,
I'm gonna hand you
over to the Brits
and you can go back to El Dorado
or maybe I will
just put a bullet
in your stupid fucking face,
wrap you up in a blanket
and throw you in a dumpster.
It depends on how
the mood takes me.
- We don't tolerate toxic
masculinity anymore.
- Kitchen.
First off, you shouldn't
have been interrogating her,
you are here to supply
technical support, period.
Second, since you
had already started,
I was applying an
interrogation technique.
I let you do the soft approach
and then I shot through
with a more aggressive one.
Now I'm gonna go back in
there and be easy with her,
she'll be confused, it'll
be harder for her to lie.
- Okay, I wasn't
following protocol,
but this looks very
much like a rendition.
- Do not get in the middle
of something you
don't understand.
You are a technical advisor
with the rank of Special
Officer First Class.
Your duty is to obey my
instructions, is that clear?
Is that fucking clear?
- Yes, yes, sir.
- When I ask personal questions,
you ask technical ones.
Do not give her time to focus.
- It's okay, I know very
well what men are like.
- [Beth] It's not okay.
- Alright.
So, I can get you
your citizenship
on two conditions,
the first is you convince
me that your boyfriend
is this um, Sushi Nama-
- Satoshi Nakamoto.
- Yeah, him, the creator of
Bitcoin and the Blockchain.
Second, you set him
up, so we can grab him.
- It's a deal.
Could you unzip my jacket?
I'm feeling really hot.
- Yeah, do it.
[zipper whirring]
- Maybe another
button of my blouse?
- [Beth] I think
you, you look great.
- So how long have
you been seeing him?
- For a few weeks.
- How many times a week?
- [Sofia] Two or three times.
- What kind of relationship
do you have with him?
- [laughing] It
is mainly sexual.
- Mm-hm, what kind of sexual?
- Wild, crazy, intense.
- What are some of the technical
terms you've heard him use?
- Cryptonography,
stroganography,
Bitcoin, that kind of thing.
- Could that have
been steganography?
- Something like that.
- What has he said
about Bitcoin?
- I don't remember,
something about Genesis.
- Genesis block?
- Yeah, maybe.
- What gets him off?
- The usual things,
blood sharp nails.
- So he likes a
little bit of pain?
- [Sofia] For sure.
- What are some of the
words he's used frequently?
- I'm feeling horny, put
my cock in your mouth.
- Phrases unrelated
to sex, please.
- Proof of words
speaks for itself.
Computational, impractical,
that kind of thing.
- Those are definitely
words and phrases he's used,
but it proves nothing,
a few years ago,
we used the writers invariant
method of stylometry
to compare his posts to
trillions of other samples.
Although word use and
sentence structure
is more identifiable
than a fingerprint,
we found dozens of definite
matches, which suggests-
- So he likes sex
a little weird, hm?
- For sure,
believe me, nobody ever
complained about my blowjobs,
but with him, it always
has to have a kinky spin.
- Does he have a birthmark?
- He has a big, pink one on
his left, no, right buttock.
- [claps] Bingo.
- That's a thing, is it?
- Yeah.
- Well, I guess you can go
and send that report then.
Why don't we,
[keys jangling]
loosen these cuffs a little?
[traffic rumbling quietly]
[objects clattering quietly]
[intercom buzzing loudly]
- Uh!
[objects clattering]
Damn, damn it! [inhales deeply]
[intercom beeping]
- Yep?
- Good news, sir, the Columbian
asset has been verified
by Special Officer Barnes.
- She make any complaint
about people being snatched
off the street and thrown
into a black Chevy Suburban?
- No, sir, she was
a little put out
after discovering the
entertainment menu,
but I think we're past that now.
The Columbian asset is
willing to set up Satoshi,
but she wants
citizenship in return.
- Well, let's expedite
that right quick
and clear Johnson to
snatch the main asset
as soon as he's ready.
- Yes, sir.
[intercom beeping]
[Colonel Pike sighing]
[phone ringing]
- Please leave your message.
- Hey sweetie, it's me.
Looks like I'm going to be
inside the wire all night.
I can't say more,
secret squirrel.
[receiver clattering]
[Colonel Pike sighing]
- Homeland has granted
you citizenship.
- Now you gotta make the
call, you up for that?
- No problem.
- Now make sure you arrange
it for somewhere quiet.
- Okay.
Hey, Pappy, how are you doing?
It's me.
Pretty good, just
chilling, watching movies,
but I've been missing
you a little bit.
Do you want to meet up tomorrow?
Hm.
My tongue on the underside
and my teeth on top
and then as you push
deeper and deeper,
that is when I scratch the
underside of your nut sack
with my sharp, pointed nails
and that is when your
hip starts jerking.
[laughing] Don't be silly.
You know very well that if
I take you all the way in,
I don't need to swallow.
How about we meet under the
bridge, where I did you before?
Hm, you like it?
Okay, I'll see you at 12.
Okay.
[Sofia speaking in
a foreign language]
You hang up.
No, you hang up. [laughing]
Okay.
He's in Oxford, but I
got you a quiet location.
I'll give you directions.
- Nice going.
- You must be exhausted,
shall I show you to your room?
- Oh, come on, I think she's
earned a large whiskey.
- Maybe she doesn't want one.
[cork squeaking]
- A whiskey sounds good.
- What about you, Beth?
[whiskey pouring]
You want a carrot
juice or something?
There you go, darling.
- Thank you, big boy.
- [Beth] You good?
- I'm great, thank you.
- Let's go.
- Fuck.
- Sleep well.
[door thudding]
[soft melodic music]
[door thudding]
[soft melodic music]
[door clicking]
[soft melodic music]
[switch clicking]
[mellow melodic music]
[switch clicking]
[door clicking]
[door thudding quietly]
- Thought you could
do with a nightcap.
[cork squeaking]
[cork clattering]
Say when.
[whiskey pouring]
Alright.
[whiskey pouring]
So I was thinking we could
run through some contingencies
just in case Sushi
doesn't wanna play a ball.
One option could be to act
out a mock torture scene,
if that's something
you're okay with?
- What does it involve?
- Well, it would have to be
a little bit sexual in nature
just to manipulate his
protective feelings.
So, [inhales deeply]
maybe I get your breasts out.
- If you think that will help.
- Hm.
Maybe I'll just
slap them a little,
call you a bitch or something?
- Yes, please.
- [hand slapping gently] Bitch.
Maybe a little harder this time,
I call you a fucking slut?
- Okay.
- [Buck] You fucking slut.
- Ah!
- Would that get to him,
am I under his skin?
- Not even close.
- [Buck] No, maybe I do it
a little harder then, huh?
- Yes.
- You cock sucking whore.
- Ah!
[both breathing heavily]
- Oh yeah.
Oh yeah, yeah.
Hurry up, hurry the fuck
up. [breathing heavily]
[zipper whirring]
Yeah, yeah, suck it,
suck it, suck it!
- Mm.
- Ssh, ssh, ssh!
Suck it!
Yeah.
Yeah, that's alright,
yeah, that's right, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[Sofia moaning]
Fuck, yeah, ssh!
[Sofia moaning]
[Buck breathing heavily]
Fuck, yeah, fuck, yeah, so good.
Choke on that, bitch,
choke on that, bitch!
Choke on that, bitch!
[breathing heavily]
I'm gonna come, I'm gonna
come, I'm gonna come!
Give me the pussy,
let me feel the pussy.
What the fuck?
[breathing heavily]
Ah! [groaning]
Fuck!
[soft tense music]
[Buck sobbing]
[Buck thudding to floor]
- You got your rocks
off, didn't you?
At least they're smaller
now than they were,
thanks to the estrogen.
[door clicking]
[door thudding]
[dog barking]
[Sofia gargling]
[shower running]
[Buck groaning]
[Buck spitting]
[tense melodic music]
[Buck gagging]
[tense melodic music]
[birds chirping]
- [Beth] So there were
some strange noises
coming from Sofia's
bedroom last night.
- [Buck] Yeah, is that right?
- Mm-hm, sounded like
you were in there,
which would've just been
mindbogglingly unprofessional.
- Are you serious?
You didn't notice?
She's a fucking transvestite.
- You mean transgender?
- Whatever.
I swear to God, I would
rather stick pins in my eyes
than have sex with one of those.
- Good morning.
- Hi.
Ah, do you want some breakfast?
- I'll have that banana, please.
- I, ah, forgot
to have a shower.
[intense melodic music]
[Buck breathing deeply]
[intense melodic music]
[Buck sighing with relief]
I'm good to go.
- It's only 8:15.
- I gotta brief the Delta team,
those guys are pretty
dumb, might take a while.
[cupboard door thudding]
[door lock beeping]
[door clicking]
- You okay?
[door thudding]
- Yes.
We had a bit of fun last night.
- I'm gonna take a bath.
[phone ringing]
- Gomez.
- Captain Johnson has just
had sex with the asset.
- Did you witness this, ah, act?
- No, of course not.
[faucet water running]
But the asset has confirmed
it in conversation.
- Let me pull up
the video feeds.
Looks like the system's down.
- What a coincidence.
- Okay, leave it with me.
- Should I prepare an affidavit?
- I'll consult with the Colonel.
[gentle orchestral music]
[intercom buzzing loudly]
[head thudding]
- Uh!
Shit!
[intercom beeping]
Yeah?
- Captain Johnson's
had sex with the asset.
- And?
- And he shut down the
internal surveillance system.
- This ain't his first rodeo.
[intercom beeping]
[gentle orchestral music]
[camera clicking]
- [snapping fingers] This
must be the detainee.
[phone ringing]
It's weird she's unsupervised.
Well, the bimbo must be busy.
She's probably watching
the Kardashians,
whilst getting
her anus bleached.
- Okay, look, [clears throat]
I get it, yeah, I really do.
You're upset, that's
natural, he dumped you,
but if you blame a whole
nation for your pain,
that's not gonna resolve it.
You need to,
feel it to heal it.
- So when, when you had your arm
around the bloke at
the coffee station,
were you giving him
relationship advice?
It would just explain
the harassment charge.
- Yeah, yeah, sorry.
You're-you're right,
it's none of my business.
I-I need to be, gotta learn
to be less expressive.
- Biometrics has
fucked up again.
According to this, she's a
bloke called Diego Ramirez
and the only thing he's
likely to have in common
with the woman across the
street is illegal immigration.
- Steven Seagal is back with
another hooded rendition.
Better call it in.
[tense melodic music]
[door clicking]
[door thudding]
- Is that really him?
Oh, my God, Satoshi?
Hi, I'm Beth Barnes from Cyber-
- What are you doing?
- Well, I was just saying hi.
- You're here to gather
information, not give it away.
Jesus Christ!
- I get it, bitch set me up.
What, you get
pissed, US passport?
- We need to see his buttocks.
- Don't we get to
know each other first?
- Shut up, take his pants off.
- Why me?
- Do it!
Come on.
Oh, fuck, I'll do it!
[Satoshi grunting]
- Bingo.
- Yeah, yeah, bingo,
bitch! [breathing heavily]
[eerie melodic music]
[Buck breathing deeply]
- You've met Buck.
When he comes back, things
are not gonna go well for you,
but if you give me a back
door into the Blockchain,
I can save you a lot of grief
and a one-way ticket
to Guantanamo.
- Fuck off.
[intercom buzzing loudly]
- Uh!
[Colonel Pike breathing deeply]
[intercom beeping]
Yep?
- Satoshi has been
verified, sir.
- Easy as pie, let's get
him to Guantanamo ASAP.
- A slight hiccup.
- Dagnabbit!
Does nothing ever go to plan?
- I dispatched the jet
as soon as the Columbian
asset was confirmed,
so that it would be ready
to bring the target to Cuba
the moment he was verified,
But I've just found out that
it flew to the city of London
in Ohio, it's a
very small airport.
The pilot's managed to refuel
and is now en route
to London, England.
[intercom beeping]
[door clicking]
- They're sending a jet, but
we've got an eight-hour wait.
- I can save them the trouble.
- I don't think he's
gonna cooperate.
- Sure he will.
[Buck sighing heavily]
I don't like faggots,
but you're not even a
real faggot, are you?
You need a pair of
tits to squeeze,
while you fuck a
girl-boy up the ass.
- Why all the attitude, stud?
Did you taste the man pussy?
You did. [laughing]
[Buck grunting]
[Satoshi groaning]
Where are you taking me?
- Hey, what are you doing?
Buck!
[door clicking]
- Get in there!
[door thudding]
[door locking]
[loud rock music]
- [knocking] Buck!
Buck!
[loud rock music]
- I like the song.
- Shut your mouth.
- I would drink you up like,
like a strawberry milkshake.
[blow thudding]
Uh!
Ooh!
[Satoshi sighing]
Masculine, angry.
You're so attractive.
Don't waste one minute
[blow thudding]
Uh!
Oh, my nose.
Don't waste one minute
- [knocking] Buck!
Broke, broken through
The world's messed
up as you'll see
[blows thudding]
[Satoshi grunting]
You resist
- You still finding my
masculinity attractive?
Grab it all
Let's fly
[Buck breathing heavily]
So let's fly
Yeah
[Satoshi breathing heavily]
My back foot shuffles
[Buck belching]
All the way, all the way
I couldn't manage
You'll never know me
You'll never know me
Don't mess with us
The complacent
rides around me
And grab it all
- I know exactly what you need.
[Satoshi grunting]
- Oh, my God, Buck, this
is completely illegal.
He has rights.
[door clicking]
- [Buck] Get in.
[door thudding]
- [hand banging] Buck!
- Get down.
[Satoshi grunting]
- Buck, what is going on?
[hand banging] Buck!
- Don't fucking move!
[objects clattering]
[faucet water running]
- Open the door!
[wet flannel slapping]
[water pouring]
- Keep your head still,
you fucking faggot!
[Beth knocking]
- [hand banging]
Buck, open the door!
[door clicking]
- Come in here.
I need you to hold
his head straight.
- You're waterboarding him?
- Clasp your hands
both sides of his head,
hold his head straight.
- No fucking way!
- Hold his head
fucking straight!
- This is illegal,
I am not gonna-
- [Buck] This is war, soldier!
- Okay.
[wet flannel slapping]
[water pouring]
[Satoshi grunting]
- Hold his head
straight, goddammit.
[water pouring]
[Satoshi grunting]
Yeah. [breathing heavily]
[Satoshi coughing]
I need a back door
to the Blockchain.
[Satoshi coughing]
- I'm betting this
isn't the first time
you've been after reinventions.
- Fuck!
[Satoshi laughing]
[bucket clanking]
[faucet water running]
[Buck breathing heavily]
[wet flannel slapping]
[water pouring]
[Satoshi grunting]
- We were tasked with
asset verification,
not extracting intel, this
is completely illegal.
He's drowning, we're
killing him, he's dying!
- No water's getting
into his lungs,
that's the whole fucking point!
[Beth thudding to floor]
[bucket clanking]
Damn it, wake up.
[Buck thudding to floor]
Fuck!
[water sloshing]
[Buck breathing heavily]
Wake up, come on, come on.
[water sloshing]
[Buck breathing heavily]
[Buck thudding to floor]
Uh!
[Beth shrieking]
Fuck!
[Satoshi laughing]
[Buck grunting]
[faucet water running]
- Finally, I'm
between your thighs.
[Buck grunting]
[wet flannel slapping]
[water pouring]
[Satoshi grunting]
- [Buck] Yeah.
- Oh, my God.
Oh, let me help you.
[tense melodic music]
I get you a cup of tea, okay.
- Okay. [breathing heavily]
- Why does she keep
opening the curtains?
- Because she's an empty-headed
American narcissist.
- No, you, you don't
know that about her.
The facts of the matter
are that she's a,
a mysterious woman
with a complex history
and a rich, emotional life
and she's soaking wet.
- Perhaps she had a shower
and forgot to take
her clothes off.
- Can't you see
what you're doing?
You are reducing the American
woman to a comic stereotype,
so you don't have to deal with
your feelings about Callum
choosing her over you.
- I don't need to reduce them
to a comic stereotype, they do
that themselves, look at her.
- You've neutralized a threat
Callum's new girlfriend poses
by making her a caricature
you can scorn and laugh at.
Did you notice this
one was shaking?
- Yeah, well, she probably
couldn't find the hot tap.
[Martin groaning in frustration]
[soft melodic music]
- Looks like Barbie's
GPS is malfunctioning.
[Beth breathing deeply]
[soft melodic music]
[water squelching]
[water pouring]
- Suck on that, bitch!
[Satoshi grunting]
[Satoshi gasping]
What's that?
[Satoshi coughing]
Huh, you make another joke,
faggot? Can't quite make it out.
[water pouring]
[Satoshi grunting]
[Satoshi coughing]
You need to give us the way
into the Blockchain, buddy.
[Satoshi breathing heavily]
[Satoshi laughing]
Oh, fuck!
[water pouring]
[Satoshi grunting]
Fucker!
[tense orchestral music]
[door clicking]
[water pouring]
[Buck grunting]
[tense orchestral music]
- Right.
[tense orchestral music]
Come on.
Following two completely
illegal renditions,
Captain Johnson
has just forced me
to participate in an
act of waterboarding.
[eerie intense music]
As I'm certain you know,
President Obama signed an
executive order in 2009
banning the use of torture
by any government agency.
- Here is your tea.
- Thank you.
I want it on record
that I took part
under the explicit
threat of court martial
and under considerable duress.
Please acknowledge
receipt of foregoing.
[melodic orchestral music]
[door knocking]
[doorbell ringing]
[tense orchestral music]
[doorbell ringing]
[door banging]
[intense orchestral music]
[door clicking]
- There's water coming
through my fucking ceiling.
I'm assuming you've let the
bath water overflow again.
Christ knows what
you do in there.
- I'll look into that, sorry.
- Yeah, you're-you're
new here, aren't you, hm?
Well, this isn't the first
time I've had to come around,
not by a long chalk, loud
music, raucous laughter,
sundry sexual sound effects.
You know, I'm not gonna be
fobbed off with any more lies.
You know, I-I think
you and your friends
have got some sort sort of
CIA whore house in there.
I've seen all these young
tarts coming up the stairs,
every nationality
you can think of.
[Buck roaring]
[background piano music]
Listen, if this
doesn't stop forthwith,
I'm gonna get in touch
with "The Guardian."
As much as they loathe
that bleeding heart,
liberal publication, it's
probably about the only one,
that has any
interest in the truth
and God, they would lap
up a CIA sex scandal,
believe you me, do
I make myself clear?
[door thudding]
[door lock beeping]
[door clicking]
- Hey, have you finished?
- [Buck] Time for a
change of strategy.
[upbeat music]
[door lock beeping]
[upbeat music continues]
- Oh, my God, you okay?
- It was so degrading.
- You must be in shock, here.
[water whooshing]
[head thudding]
- Fuck!
- Sorry, sorry, oh my God,
as if you haven't
suffered enough.
Here, let me help you.
[Colonel Pike snoring]
[intercom buzzing loudly]
[Colonel Pike gasping]
[Colonel Pike breathing deeply]
[intercom beeping]
- Yep?
- Barnes has
reported that Johnson
has been waterboarding Satoshi.
- There's no slack in his
rope, I'll give him that.
Maybe he'll choke the
truth out of the bastard
and save us a flight.
- I'm afraid she's making
a formal complaint, sir.
[helicopter whirring]
[ominous melodic music]
- [Soldier] With respect, sir,
you gave them the
wrong coordinates.
- [Gomez] Sir?
- Acknowledge the
formal complaint,
but hold off on filing it.
Let's give Johnson
a little time.
- Yes, sir.
[intercom beeping]
Shit.
- Son of a bitch!
[mellow melodic music]
Some call this sodium pentamax,
some call it truth serum.
- No, no, no, no, that's
completely illegal!
- [Buck] I call it an end
to your masochist bullshit.
- [Beth] International
law prohibits the use
of mind-altering
drugs on prisoners.
- [Buck] Butt out,
soldier, that's an order.
[mellow melodic music]
[Beth groaning]
[intercom beeping]
- Gomez.
- I hear you have
a million Bitcoin
and even at 15 grand a pop,
that still makes you a
billionaire 15 times over.
That's a lot of cash
and unless you cooperate
right fucking now,
the NSA's gonna seize it all.
[Satoshi laughing]
- That's just not
going to happen, stud,
which is exactly why
the US government
wants to crush cryptocurrencies.
There's no way they
can control them,
much like your wide-ranging
sexual desires.
- How do we get
into the Blockchain?
- I think it's time you
answered some questions.
- I'm the one
answering the fuck-
- What do you two really
think of each other?
- This guy?
He's a selfish, arrogant,
superior, bullying cunt.
This guy is pure
toxic masculinity.
- Toxic masculinity?
- Yeah, that's just a term
that feminists use to
try and manipulate men
into feeling ashamed
of being real men.
- Only a man with no
shame could say that.
- Hey, I've gotta tell
you something, babe.
- Don't call me babe.
- The only thing that
you feminists have done
is to stop men from being
men, you've had their balls.
- What, so being made to
treat women with respect
makes men feel castrated?
- Not real men, the ones that
cave to feminine pressure,
well, they're obviously pussies.
- Wow, it's amazing
how much sexism
you can cram into
just one sentence.
Do you work at that or is it
just the natural macho bigotry?
- So what have you
got against men?
- Their brutal insensitivity.
- Did you experience
that growing up?
- Yeah, my dad,
Colonel Brad Barnes sure didn't
win any medals for chivalry.
[soft orchestral music]
[projector whirring]
- [Brad] Left, right,
left, right, left, right.
Left, right, left, right.
The order was side
to side, soldier,
that's insubordination
right there.
That's 17, 23 to go.
Suck it up, soldier.
- The only nice thing he ever
said to me was, "Good job,"
when I managed to follow
his orders precisely.
- And now you serve the NSA,
American military organization?
- Yeah.
I blindly follow
orders, it's in my DNA,
some asshole tells me
what to do and I do it.
Sometimes I challenge it, it
never makes any difference,
I get frozen out or ignored.
- As a chain of command,
it's a logical system.
- It's a masculine system.
Women would never create
such a rigid structure,
which is why I feel more
comfortable with them.
- Ah, I knew it, you're
a fucking lesbian.
- Because I have a problem
with men, I must be a lesbian?
- You're deflecting.
Answer the question.
- No, I'm not
and I'm done with following
orders from anyone.
- What's behind your homophobia?
- Who, me?
It's just not right.
- Does your family
feel the same way?
- Yeah, my brothers sure do.
- What about your dad?
- Well, he was a
Sergeant in the NYPD,
so what do you think?
- Was he as
homophobic as you are?
- I mean, he didn't
like faggots, [laughing]
but there was a...
- But what?
- No, no, I can't tell you.
- Yeah, you can.
- No, there was the one time
he was standing in
front of the mirror.
- [Satoshi] What was he doing?
[soft melodic music]
[projector whirring]
[ominous melodic music]
- He was standing in
front of the mirror
and he was wearing
my mom's underwear.
[Beth laughing]
I mean, my dad was no fairy,
you know, he was,
he was a tough guy,
he was a good guy and
he would go, sport,
playing sports with us and
he would drink with us,
he'd have beers
and he was strong
and he could bench like
300 fucking pounds.
- I can see why masculinity
is so important to you.
- Yeah, men should be men.
- Except when they're not.
- [sighing heavily]
I don't know,
things just didn't seem
to be the same after that.
Even when he was working, I
just kept on wondering whether
his police uniform was
hiding a red bra and panties.
[Buck and Beth laughing]
Yeah.
Why the fuck am I
telling you all this?
- I feel really
weird. [laughing]
- Wait a minute.
[soft tense music]
That's just water.
- What?
- Oh man, I feel like
a real dork. [laughing]
- [Beth] Did you put
it in our drinks?
Why would you do that?
- We believe in freedom
of information. [laughing]
[ominous melodic music]
[gun clicking]
[soft tense music]
[gun firing]
- Whoo!
[Beth laughing]
- I feel really good.
[mellow melodic music]
Oh, my colon is a busting.
[phone ringing]
[mellow melodic music]
[intercom buzzing loudly]
[objects clattering]
- Goddammit!
That glue's about as
useless as teats on a bull.
[drawer clicking]
[intercom buzzing loudly]
[intercom beeping]
Yep?
- There's been a gunshot
in the London entertainment
apartment, sir.
It's possible Captain
Johnson shot Satoshi.
- I hope we got the intel first.
- I phoned him immediately,
sir, but he killed the call.
[eerie melodic music]
[guns firing]
- [Soldier] Medevac's
touched down,
we've got five
casualties on board.
The bird's good to go.
- Send in the Delta team.
Have them find out what
the hell is going on
and report back right quick.
[Alice panting fearfully]
[walking frame squeaking]
- [Alice] No.
[Buck exhaling heavily]
[tense melodic music]
- Alright.
Alright.
Here you go.
Whoa, silly, no, look,
trigger discipline says
that you need to extend
and rest the trigger finger
on the frame of the firearm,
that makes it a
lot more difficult
to accidentally discharge,
I'm gonna be back in a moment.
Okay.
[tense orchestral music]
[door thudding]
[door knocking loudly]
[tense orchestral music]
[door clicking]
- Ah, now listen, I want-
[door thudding]
- How dare you shut
the door in my face!
[phone beeping]
- Oh.
That one, yes, yes.
[tense melodic music]
[phone ringing]
- [999 Operator] Emergency,
which service do you require,
fire, police or ambulance?
- I, I, I,
terrorist alert.
- [999 Operator] Police?
- [panting] Terr, terr, terr.
- Madame?
- Terrorist.
There is an ISIS training camp
in the apartment downstairs.
[tense melodic music]
[Buck breathing heavily]
- I'm feeling really
vulnerable right now.
I've got a gun in my hands
and I've just told you
all of my secrets, but I
know nothing about yours.
[gun firing]
Oh!
- Oh!
They've, they've just
executed another hostage.
- [George] Well, now
you're taking the piss.
[soft melodic music]
- What have I done?
I didn't follow orders,
did I? [laughing]
[traffic rumbling quietly]
- Ah,
what the fuck is this?
- It belongs to a
volunteer intern
from the American Battle
Monuments Commission.
- Is this a fucking joke?
Where is our Chevy?
- [Bo] It's in the shop,
the AC's on the fritz.
- Who gives a shit about the AC?
We're in England,
for Christ sake!
- What can I say? I have
hyperthyroidism, I overheat.
- Fucking clown car, Bo.
- Come on, get your asses in.
- Why are you standing?
Go on, come on.
Get your ass in the car.
- Ah!
- [Alonzo] Let's go,
motherfucker, you,
you sit at the back.
- I'm sorry.
- Let's go, come on.
- I'm sorry.
- Man, shit!
- Come on, in, come on.
[car door thudding]
- I'm sorry.
- Your dumb ass should be back
here, I should fucking drive.
What the fuck?
[kick thudding]
- Ah!
- Move your leg, man.
What the fuck you
think this is, man?
Fuck, all spread out and shit.
[car seat thudding]
- Uh!
- Ah, shit!
- Ah!
- Come on.
Come on.
[car door thudding]
- Motherfucker.
[car engine starting]
[car revving]
[tires screeching]
[George banging loudly]
[door lock beeping]
[door clicking]
- Hey, asshole, keep it down.
- I beg your pardon?
[door thudding]
[door lock beeping]
Damn it!
You wait 'til I call the police.
[tense melodic music]
[cork squeaking]
[whiskey pouring]
[Buck gasping]
- [Buck] Oh, fuck.
[tense melodic music]
[George banging loudly]
[tense melodic music]
- Oh, yeah.
[door clicking]
I just accidentally had more
of the truth juice by accident,
but there's plenty left
over for you motherfuckers.
[tense melodic music]
[phone ringing]
- Yeah.
You were right, the old lady
that lives above the love nest
just reported two gunshots.
[gun clicking]
One of them went
through her floor.
- Ah, where are you going?
- Well, I'm gonna pose
as her niece, find
out what's going on.
- No, I don't think
that's the best idea.
- I'm not scared of
those fucking idiots.
- Yeah, that's what I'm
worried about, Connie.
[Connie exhaling heavily]
[gentle melodic music]
- Hey.
Are you feeling it yet?
Is it kicking in?
- I feel,
pretty stoned.
- Yeah.
- It's like a cross
between ketamine and weed,
but strong weed,
like one of those
indica hybrids?
[both laughing]
- What about you?
- What do you want to know?
- What's wrong with
being a regular guy?
- Regular as in
White, straight males?
The grown up men that are
obsessed with toys and badges?
- Yeah.
- Or the faithful husbands
who spend hours each week
watching other people
having sex on their screens?
The well balanced men who
insist the women they date
have the hairless vagina
of a nine-year old girl?
Or the normal men who have an
absolute horror of buggery,
but can't wait to fuck
their girlfriend in the ass?
Those kind of regular guys?
- Sure, why not?
- Can you imagine
what it would be like
to know you're born with
the wrong genitalia?
[soft melodic music]
- No.
- My parents were like that.
[projector whirring]
I had a penis and testicles,
therefore I was a boy
and that was the end of it,
no gray area, no discussion.
I realized I had
to find my own way.
I learned to put myself first,
to look after my own interest.
[soft melodic music]
I never told anyone more
than they needed to know,
even in the face of abuse.
I pursued my agenda, my purpose,
which is to survive as a woman.
- I have so much
respect for you.
- Me too.
[soft melodic music]
- Aw.
[Beth laughing]
[Sofia inhaling deeply]
- I'm fucking bombed.
[all laughing]
[soft melodic music]
Hey.
Are you Sashimi Nakamoto or not?
- No.
- Satoshi Nakamoto.
- Yeah.
Are you Sushi Nakamoto?
- No.
- Satoshi Nakamoto.
- Are you Saposhi Nakanoko?
- No.
- Satoshi Nakamoto.
- Are you Sushi
Nasamakoro or not?
- No.
- Satoshi Nakamoto.
- Yeah, what she said?
- No.
- Don't tell me that
she's saying it wrong.
- I'm not him.
- Well, who the
fuck are you then?
- [laughing] I'm Jee Kim Lee,
originally from Busan in Korea,
but I've lived in the
US and UK for 26 years.
I'm a crypto anarchist.
- What the fuck is
a crypto anarchist?
- Someone who's dedicated
to enabling people
to engage in
unlimited free speech,
economic transactions
beyond the reach
of the asshole corrupt
state's ability
to tax and regulate. [laughing]
- Wait, every time you turn
on a faucet or take a shit,
you benefit from the state.
Who do you, who
do you think pays
for the sate-satellites and
the cables for the Internet?
- What about the birthmark?
You had a birthmark.
- That's real.
We knew that when our phone
conversations were flagged,
you'd do another
background sweep,
so we hacked some old blogs,
planted some details about it,
then made sure you'd find them.
- Oh, my God, so you
set this whole thing up?
- It was much easier than
we expected. [laughing]
- We never thought we'd get
an entertainment
apartment out of it, huh?
[all laughing]
[soft melodic music]
[soft tense music]
- Whoops!
[George banging loudly]
- [sighing] Oh, for fuck's sake.
Look after that, I'll be back.
- Ooh ooh!
[George banging loudly]
- Oh, you, you, I have
to tell you something.
Fair enough, yeah, if that's
the way you want to play it,
then I'm gonna phone
"The Guardian."
[door clicking]
Yeah.
No, don't, what do you
think you're doing?
[door thudding]
[door locking]
Oh, what are you doing?
What are you giving me?
- Sodium pentamax, it's great.
You're gonna have a
fucking ball, man.
- You-you, you're insane?
- I know it sounds crazy,
but the truth really
will set you free.
Hey, do you like malt whiskey?
- Wh-wh-what?
- I'm feeling happy.
Jee Kim is going to give me
the money to set up a new life.
[gentle melodic music]
'Cause I've got what he needs.
- Oh, that's real nice of you.
- Sounds like she's earned it.
- [Beth] What did
she have to do?
[door clicking]
- Everybody.
This is George, he's
from downstairs.
He's feeling a little anxious,
so I told him that we'll
just make him feel at home.
- George, hey, we've met.
You wanna have a seat?
- Um, I-I...
- [Buck] Ah, okay.
So where are we at?
- Boys, men, soldiers, they
were always cruel to me.
Nobody accepted me as I was.
- Well, I mean, you could've
been a little bit more upfront
about what was
between your legs.
- Stop it, there
were no complaints,
'til you put your
hands in my panties.
- Well, what was there
to complain about?
You got a great pair of tits,
blowjob was fucking amazing.
It was just awesome.
[soft melodic music]
- [Protestors] Meat is
murder, meat is murder!
Meat is murder, meat is murder!
[car horns tooting]
- If this is your
idea of a shortcut,
I'd hate to go the long
way around with you.
- Chances are the
animal rights bunch
have fubarred half
the streets in London.
- You'd have to be
something abnormal.
- You got that right,
fucking vegans.
All fucking whack jobs, man.
- And they all
look so unhealthy.
- You don't eat your meat,
you don't get your nutrients.
- They're just trying to do
the right thing for the planet.
- Yo, don't point that
fucking thing at me, man.
- They're getting their
vegan shit from organic,
non-dig methods, they're
destroying the soil bio.
- Everybody knows you
don't milk your cows,
the titties will explode.
[car horns tooting]
[car revving]
[car brakes screeching]
[muffled gun firing]
[all laughing]
- Yo, the new guy just
shot himself in the foot.
- I'm good.
- You good?
You straight?
- Yep.
- [Josh] That's what
I like to hear, man.
Goddamn, Kumara, first
fucking day, shit.
[gentle melodic music]
- So if you're not
Satishi Nakamoto,
then why are you
pretending to be him?
- I'm sick of the US
government's bullying hypocrisy
and endless lies.
One of the chief facilitators
in those endless lies
is the NSA, Puzzle Palace,
Shadow Factory, the Fortress
of Fucking Fraudulence.
I'm gonna force those deceitful
scumbag pricks to be honest
about how they tried to
sabotage cryptocurrencies.
- How are you gonna do that?
- He has lots of ideas,
isn't that right, Jee Kim?
You want the right truths to
come out at the right time.
- I mean, I can help with that.
I've just got a whole
new angle on honesty,
just feels so much more free.
[melodic militaristic music]
[intercom buzzing loudly]
[intercom buzzing repeatedly]
[intercom beeping]
- Yeah?
- I've been trying to
get a hold of you, sir.
- I didn't hear the
buzzer, what, what is it?
- It sounds like they've
all had truth serum.
Satoshi claims to be
someone called Jee Kim,
who intends to force
the Agency to be honest
about how it's tried to
sabotage cryptocurrencies.
Special Officer Barnes
has discharged a firearm
and we've got a whole other
situation going on right now.
I'm patching you
through to a live feed
from Barnes' cell phone,
it'll come through
on your terminal.
[intercom beeping]
- [Jee Kim] Cryptocurrencies
threaten the banks,
the banks own the White House
and the White House
tells the NSA what to do.
- [Beth] Cybercom
has been monitoring
the Internet activities of
various Bitcoin users since 2013
via a program codenamed OAKSTAR.
[keyboard clattering]
Utilizing the XKeyscore
system and the OAKSTAR system
- Where the hell.
[intercom beeping]
- Where the hell is Delta team?
- They're 15 minutes out, sir.
- Those shit kickers were 20
minutes out 20 minutes ago.
- They got caught in
heavy traffic, sir.
Apparently an army of vegans
is marching on Parliament.
- Vegans, Holy Christ!
[military drumming music]
Tell that Delta team
I want them there
faster than a Prairie dog with
its ass on fire, you hear me?
- [Gomez] Yes, sir, right away.
- [Beth] We also planted
fake VPN services as a device
for observing the online
activities of Internet users.
- [Soldier] The hodgies
are bringing out RPGs,
they're trying to hit the bird,
do we call in an air strike?
What are your orders, sir? Sir!
[eerie melodic music]
Sir!
- Wow, OAKSTAR.
[gentle melodic music]
I didn't expect anyone
who worked for the NSA
to be so understanding
or helpful.
I thought you were all assholes.
You two are different.
- Thank you.
- But it doesn't change my goal.
I'm still gonna force
your Agency to come clean.
- How do you plan to do that?
- Because we-
- If you hadn't guessed,
Jee Kim has big
issues with authority.
If you heard him speak
about his mother,
who was the authority
in his early life,
you'd start to make
certain connections.
- Do you wanna tell
us about your mom?
- Yeah.
Come on, tell us, Kimchi.
- You just totally betrayed me.
I didn't tell you
about Megabitch, so
you could broadcast it
like some wannabe
Instagram influencer.
- Some truths need to be told.
- My mother had a lot of success
in the import-export trade.
She's a powerful,
asshole businesswoman,
who has to control
every single thing,
just like they all do.
She used to go through
my browsing history,
my emails and messages
and go through all the
files on my computer,
until I learned
about cryptography.
That fucked her little games.
She tried to force me
to give her the key,
but there was no way I was
ever going to give it to her.
[gentle melodic music]
[projector whirring]
She was a real spiteful bitch,
she liked to draw blood,
but I would've preferred
to die than give in to her.
In the end, she
stopped my allowance,
she grounded me indefinitely.
The only way I got to go outside
was by leaving that
ugly mansion for good.
- She fuck with you sexually?
- Buck!
- What? I was just asking.
- She fucked with my head.
- She sat on your face?
Jesus Christ! No wonder
you're gay, man, fuck!
- He means she fucked
him up psychologically.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course.
- And she often told me she
hurt me because she loved me.
Maybe that's why I enjoy pain.
- Well, I mean, you know,
I kinda enjoyed
dishing it out to you.
- Not everyone could
admit something like that.
I take my hat off to you.
[gentle melodic music]
- As long as you
keep your pants on.
[all laughing]
- Okay.
- [George] Who are
all you people?
- Oh, George.
Hey, I'm sorry I didn't
do the introductions.
I'm Beth from the
NSA and this is Buck
and we are here on a special
assignment to interview,
Shi, oh, fuck, Shitshoto,
Shitshoto Nakamoto,
creator of Bitcoin
and we thought, no, we
thought this guy was Shitosho,
but it turns out that he's
Jee Kim Lee from Busan
and this, ah, this is Sofia,
his Colombian
transgender friend.
Do you wanna tell
us about yourself?
- Well, I, I don't like
foreigners for a start,
now I find myself completely
surrounded by them.
- Why don't you like foreigners?
- No, well, for, for
any number of reasons.
- Break them out, George.
- Huh, very well.
Well, North Americans I
find crass and boorish.
Central and South Americans
are drug peddlers.
The French are arrogant with
nothing to be arrogant about.
The, the Dutch I
find cold and rude.
The Germans have a
superiority complex
with nothing to be superior
about having lost two world wars
and the Austrians, I, oh,
I mean, they're
second rate Germans.
The Danish are pornographers.
The Belgians are
interfering bureaucrats.
The, the, the Swiss
are bent bankers
and there's no point in
even mentioning Luxembourg.
Did you know that before 2009,
the Spanish age of
sexual consent was 13?
So I think that tells you all
we need to know about them.
Italian men are mummy's boys,
Italian women are their victims.
The Greeks are peasants with
a currency they don't deserve.
Africans are either rabid
Christians or thieves
and the less said
about Arabs the better.
- Whoa!
[soft orchestral music]
So what makes you so special?
What is it that makes
you so different
from all these other people?
Is it because you were born
into the British middle class,
is that it, but then
why did that happen?
Did you personally organize
that amazingly fortuitous event?
Did you earn that
privilege in some way?
No, you didn't, you
bigoted asshole!
[melodic orchestral music]
- Indians I find
dirty and stupid.
Australians are either
criminal, criminals or Asians
and there's too many
fucking Chinese!
[Jee Kim and Sofia laughing]
[melodic orchestral music]
- What about the Jews?
Most people like to
have a pop at them.
- Well, there's nothing
to say about the Jews,
that hasn't already been
covered by the Nazis.
[hand slapping]
Oh!
[doorbell ringing]
[George laughing]
You must be a
"Guardian" reader, hm?
[door lock beeping]
[door clicking]
- What's going on?
A bullet just went through
my aunt's living room floor.
I mean, what's.
[soft tense music]
[Buck grunting]
Relax, relax!
[both grunting]
[both laughing]
[soft melodic music]
- I don't know what that
American thug gave me,
heroin probably, but I need
to establish some boundaries.
- [Beth] Oh, George, I think
we've already established
far too many of those.
- Oh, don't be ridiculous,
you don't know what
you're talking about,
that moron Blair flung
open the gates, why?
To establish his
multi-cultural society
and as a result,
we're, we're overrun,
overwhelmed by aliens.
- Hey, [hand patting]
this is Martin.
- [Beth] Hey.
- [Jee Kim] National
borders are just speed bumps
on the Information
Super Highway, man.
- [George] Is that
what you lot think?
- [Jee Kim] What lot?
- Well, the Asians.
[Beth laughing]
- No, it's how crypto
anarchists think.
- Listen, whatever the
hell you call yourself,
you-you're living in
cloud cuckoo land.
National borders are
of crucial importance.
You fail to man those properly
and you lose your
culture, your traditions.
- No, Martin,
everything is not okay,
you are in a nest
of American vipers.
- You get mosques where
the local pub used to be,
people walking about the streets
in their fucking pajamas.
Everybody talking in
witless Americanisms.
- And you also look very
pissed or stoned or both.
God, I knew it was a mistake
to send you over there,
you are too much of a pussy
to deal with those pricks.
- I mean, alright, I mean,
Asians may not have much
that's worth holding
onto, but I can assure you
the British culture
and traditions
is, is invaluable,
irreplaceable.
[Beth laughing]
- You're right.
It is all about borders.
They are absolutely the problem.
Borders don't stop immigration,
but they do cause
pain and suffering
and often death to perfectly
innocent, lovely people.
They are a massive
violation of liberty,
whichever way you look at it.
Freedom of movement is
a basic human right.
Opening all borders would make
the whole planet
more prosperous.
Some believe it could more
than double the world's GDP,
maybe even double
the love as well
and the only way we're gonna
sort out climate change
is through global unity.
See, hm?
Ideas have no borders
and love knows no bounds.
We're all just flawed humans
just trying to make
our way in the world
and all our struggles
are connected.
[soft dreamy music]
Power should be collective
and justice equal
and that is why we need
to tear down the walls.
- Listen, matey, we pulled
down the Berlin Wall
and that unleashed
the Russian mafia
and that power-hungry
midget, Putin.
[soft dreamy music]
- This is great.
Everyone's telling
it like it is.
[man singing in
foreign language]
- You okay?
- I think I need
a strong coffee.
- Hm.
[soft dreamy music]
- Do you have the package?
- It's in a safe place.
- Go and get it.
[soft dreamy music]
[man singing in
foreign language]
- Is Beth okay?
- I think so.
- Maybe you should
give her a hand?
- Maybe I should
give you a hand.
- Cheeky.
- I just keep thinking
about your tits
and what you can do
with your tongue.
- Are you looking for
a repeated performance?
- I think I could really
enjoy it this time.
[soft dreamy music]
- Go and wait for
me in the bedroom.
[both laughing]
[soft dreamy music]
[Jee Kim groaning softly]
[soft melodic music]
[Buck exhaling heavily]
[mellow melodic music]
- You ready with the coats?
- First you need to
make my payments.
- You don't trust me?
- Go on.
[mellow melodic music]
[water bubbling]
[Colonel Pike grunting]
[water bubbling]
[helicopter whirring]
- [Soldier] That's 16
inbound, 60 seconds,
payload six Maverick AGLs.
We'll see how the
hodgies like them apples.
[helicopter whirring]
[artillery firing]
[guns firing]
[Colonel Pike groaning loudly]
Hodgie rockets at the
bird, she's going down!
The F-16's destroyed
the whole village,
it's full of women and children.
[guns firing]
With respect, sir, you gave
them the wrongs coordinates.
[clock ticking]
[tea pouring]
[Alice exhaling heavily]
[mellow melodic music]
- A hidden folder.
Your turn.
[mellow melodic music]
It's working.
- What are you doing?
- I'm uploading malware
to the NSA's mainframe.
- What kind of malware?
- It'll find all
files associated with
the Agency's efforts
to sabotage Bitcoin and then
release them to the media.
- And you're planning to do
that via my email account?
- That's the idea.
[soft tense music]
- It's not a very good idea.
- Because you'll shoot me?
- Because the Fort
Meade mail server
will reject anything
with an attachment.
- Fuck.
- You'll need to use CBFT,
it's the NSA's cloud-based
file transfer protocol.
- How would I be
able to access that?
- [Beth] I've got
the encryption key.
- [Jee Kim] And
you'll give it to me?
- [Beth] Sure, why not?
The Fort has been breaking
the law all over the place
and it's high time
those bullying assholes
were brought to beg.
- Dagnabbit!
When did all has happen?
[melodic militaristic music]
The Delta,
[intercom beeping]
the Delta team are
cleared to terminate.
Repeat, terminate
all the hodgies.
- Hodgies, sir, do
you mean the occupants
of the entertainment apartment?
- Kill them, kill them all!
- Yes, sir.
- And you need to-
[phone thudding]
You need to shut down
the CBFT right quick.
[head thudding]
[Colonel Pike sobbing]
[melodic orchestral music]
- This is my lucky day.
This is the world's lucky day.
[traffic rumbling quietly]
- They want everyone
terminated ASAP.
- Fucking A!
- [Bo] We're two blocks out,
it'll be quicker on foot.
- If we meet any vegans on
the way, they're dead meat.
- I'm a vegan.
- [Chip] Get the
fuck outta here.
- Your brain not
getting any protein.
No wonder you shot
yourself in the foot.
[car horns tooting]
[car doors clicking]
- [Moonbeam] Eat
pussy, it's vegan.
[Kumara groaning]
- Ah, shit, I've
got fucking cramp.
- Eat pussy, it's vegan.
- Ah, shit! Ah, I got
cramp, I got cramp!
- What's up, guys?
Ah, I'm just out educating
everyone tonight about veganism.
Basically there's
a saying, right?
You know, basically men and
humans should eat pussy.
- Hey, buddy!
- What's up, dude?
- Plants eat meat too, you know,
check out the Venus flytrap.
[car horns tooting]
- What the fuck you looking at?
- You stay in the car.
[car door thudding]
- Ah!
- [Chip] Never seen a
gun before, bitch, huh?
[footsteps thudding]
- Fuck you!
[gentle melodic music]
- What?
- When you watch a
building for a month,
you can't help but notice stuff.
Obviously our main
focus is the love nest.
MI5 want the
opportunity to blackmail
anyone the NSA's blackmailing,
but,
I have seen your flat, George,
I have seen your bookshelf,
I have seen the books you read.
- Huh?
- "Death of the West,"
"New Culture, New Right."
[soft tense music]
- Martin, you need to hear this.
five thugs with a set of keys
at the front door below you,
gotta be an NSA hit team,
can you acknowledge?
[soft melodic music]
Right, I'm calling this in.
- Look, I get it, George,
I get your fear of immigrants
and your fierce desire to
protect your traditions.
But that fear
isolates you, George
and as you shy away from
what the UK has evolved into,
you're the one that
becomes marginalized.
I've noticed you don't have
visitors and that is sad.
You're missing out
on all the love.
You fear these people,
but if you let them in
just, just a little bit,
they become a lot less scary.
You have to look for what
you have in common with them.
What football team
do you support?
- Well, if you
must know, Chelsea,
I mean, some of them,
this season, there only
six White English players
in a squad of 28.
That tells you quite
a lot about that.
- I support Chelsea, George.
- No, you, you're
just saying that.
- I promise you.
Me and the family go to Stamford
Bridge for most home games.
We love it, even though
it's been a bit up and down
the last few years
Oh, come on,
George, bring it in.
- Oh.
[switches clicking]
[ominous melodic music]
[tense melodic music]
[gun clicking]
[tense melodic music]
- Alright, Thames House has no
knowledge of an NSA hit team,
they are either
rogue or black ops.
I need to know
you're getting this.
Martin.
[tense melodic music]
- Are you okay?
- Just waiting for Sofia.
- Ah, [laughing] hm.
I can see you're really excited
about that, hm? [laughing]
Oh, I am so glad that you two
guys are getting it together.
- Huh?
- You're feeling the love.
Sweet.
- Sweet.
- Ah, I'd better go and
see what's going on.
- Yeah.
- Love you.
[tense melodic music]
- Martin.
Martin!
Martin!
Martin!
Oh, Martin, Martin, I'm afraid.
I'm-I'm afraid of
being completely
overrun by foreigners,
it terrifies me, it
keeps me awake at night.
No, no, I mean, they're not
really here in their millions
eating up large
parts of the country.
I mean, they're
draining the NHS.
I fear there'll be nothing left
when I need a hospital bed.
- It's gonna be okay.
- Oh, oh!
I mean, what-what happens
if they take my apartment,
my, my money, my, my clothes?
[tense melodic music]
I mean, I have the sense,
that they'll pour through
that door at any moment.
[ominous melodic music]
[gun firing]
[loud rock music]
[gun firing]
[Beth thudding to floor]
[gun firing]
[Jee Kim thudding to floor]
[loud rock music]
[gun firing]
[gun firing]
[teacup shattering]
[gun firing]
[Alonzo thudding to floor]
[loud rock music]
Messy
[gun firing]
[Bo thudding to floor]
[guns firing]
[tense orchestral music]
[gun firing]
[Sofia thudding to floor]
[tense orchestral music]
[Buck groaning softly]
[tense orchestral music]
[gun firing]
[Josh thudding to floor]
[soft tense music]
[Connie breathing heavily]
[gentle melodic music]
- Fucking barbaric Americans.
[gun firing]
[Connie thudding to floor]
- Fucking hoity-toity English.
[melodic jazz music]
[Kumara laughing]
[gun firing]
[vinyl record scratching]
[computer beeping]
- [Newscaster] Following
embarrassing disclosures
published this morning
about the NSA's efforts
to suppress Bitcoin and
other cryptocurrencies,
there has been
widespread indignation.
By midday, thousands of
protestors had gathered outside
the security agency's
headquarters at Fort Meade,
by the evening, tens of
thousands were demonstrating
in various cities across
the United States.
[van door thudding]
[birds chirping]
[melodic jazz music]
[tense melodic music]
- [Narrator] Bitcoin was
invented by an unknown entity
using the name Satoshi Nakamoto
and released as open-source
software in 2009.
It was the first
decentralized digital currency
or cryptocurrency and
is beyond the control
of banks and governments.
If cryptocurrency
is widely adopted,
the entire banking system
could become irrelevant.
World governments
would then be unable
to control financial policy.
For this reason, the
Trump administration
classified Satoshi Nakamoto
as a terrorist.
[intense melodic music]
[melodic jazz music]
[melodic militaristic music]
[intercom buzzing loudly]
- Uh!
[Colonel Pike inhaling deeply]
[intercom beeping]
Yep?
- Colonel, Warrant Officer
Gomez, we met at the briefing,
I'm your point man on
the London operation.
I thought you'd like
to know Captain Johnson
and Special Officer
Barnes are en route.
- Let's hope this ain't
another wild goose chase.
- There were a couple problems.
Our only unoccupied
safe house in London
is being redecorated
after the CIA borrowed it.
- I was promised that'd
be spick-and-span
by the beginning of the week.
- Yeah, they couldn't get
the blood off the walls.
So I've had to put
Johnson and Barnes
in our London
entertainment apartment.
- Johnson's tougher
than a $2 steak,
I'm sure he'll figure it out.
What's the other problem?
- Because of the
rapid deployment,
I'm afraid I didn't have time
to properly vet the
Special Officer.
- Well, all he's
gotta do is verify,
that the asset knows the target
and verify that the target
is actually Satoshi Nakamoto.
- It's a she, sir, Beth
Barnes from Cybercom.
She's our leading
expert on crypto,
but she knows nothing at
all about covert operations
and has never been in the field.
She's a rookie.
- Holy Christ!
- [Gomez] I'm really sorry, sir.
- Okay, okay, just don't
get your panties in a wad.
We can handle this.
Relax.
Unwind.
Take it easy.
- Yes, sir, thank you, sir.
[intercom beeping]
[Colonel Pike breathing deeply]
- [Buck] So you've never
been to the NSA gift shop?
- [Beth] [laughs] I
didn't know we had one.
- Yeah, it's in the
Cryptologic Museum.
- Well, what do they sell,
caps and bumper stickers?
- Yeah, pretty much.
But here's the thing,
[doorbell ringing]
and this is the
God's honest truth,
every single thing they sell
in there is made in China.
- Seriously?
- Yeah.
- Cybercom has 1000 personnel
working round the clock
to hack Chinese
computer networks.
- Yeah and they've
all got bugged caps.
[Buck knocking]
[door lock beeping]
[door clicking]
Buck Johnson.
- [Beth] Beth Barnes.
[door opening]
- The internal surveillance
system's in here.
- Yeah, good energy.
Yeah, nice ambience, I
think we can work with this.
- Bedrooms this way.
[tense melodic music]
There are useful numbers
in the file folder,
that cupboard contains
the operational resources,
Captain Johnson's pass
card will give you access.
[drapes rattling]
[cork squeaking]
- I can tell you're a rookie.
- I've been at the Agency
for 18 years, I'm the most-
- [Buck] You don't know what
operational resources are.
- Well, that's your department,
I'm here to give
technical advice.
- How many ops?
- Have you never worked
with a woman before?
- So you've never
been in the field?
- The Agency is changing,
more and more of us are
being sent on missions,
whether you guys like it or not.
- Yeah, well, don't sweat it.
- Don't you sweat it.
I'm properly briefed,
fully prepared
and more than equal to the task.
- This 20-year old malt's
amazing, you want one?
- We're on duty.
[whiskey pouring]
[melodic drumming music]
- [Buck] I'm going
for the first asset.
[door lock beeping]
- [Beth] You're meeting
with Sofia Perez?
- [Buck] Yeah, I'm meeting
with a Columbian chick.
[blade whooshing]
- She's not a chick.
To give you some
background, Sofia grew up
in one of the flashpoints of
the Colombian armed conflict
and both her parents were
killed by mercenaries.
- Well, there could be
some leverage in that.
[gun clicking]
- [Beth] She will have been
completely traumatized by that.
She's a vulnerable,
displaced woman
and we need to look
out for her wellbeing.
- Keep a lid on the
sentimentality, soldier.
She's a potential source
of intel, that's it.
And make sure all these
drapes are closed.
[intense drumming music]
- Fuck you.
[drapes rattling]
- [Connie] This must
be macho man's partner.
[camera clicking]
- [Martin] Right, let's
find out, shall we?
[computer beeping]
- Why haven't you
been suspended?
- Because it's an
unsubstantiated claim.
- Well, it's a good job
you're not an actor then,
they'd have burnt you
at the stake by now.
- I was just being
nice to the guy.
Maybe a little effusive
because that's my way,
but definitely friendly.
- I didn't know he was
a bloke. [laughing]
- I just put my arm around
him at the coffee station,
'cause I found out we were
both Chelsea supporters.
That's a big deal in my family,
I take my wife and kids
to most of the home games.
- What, that's it,
was he a racist?
- No, it doesn't seem likely.
80% of the Chelsea squad
are foreigners, so.
[tense orchestral music]
[Beth sighing]
[phone ringing]
- Warrant Officer Gomez.
- [Beth] Hi, this is
Special Officer Beth Barnes.
- Hey, how's it going?
- Not so good actually.
I'm sorry to have
to tell you this,
but things in London have
gotten way out of control.
There is a menu in the kitchen
for a range of recreational
drugs and prostitutes.
God knows what kind of
operational resources
they have in here.
- Have you discussed this
with Captain Johnson?
- You need to get
someone from Oversight
down here as fast as you can.
- Chain of command,
Special Officer Barnes,
you need to speak with
your field commander.
Thanks for calling.
[computer beeping]
[soft tense music]
[Beth sighing]
[Beth breathing deeply]
- Oh, fuck!
- He's seeing an American woman.
- Callum?
- I bet she's some ridiculous
bimbo like this one,
nipped and tucked and
fucked by all comers.
- Sounds like you got
her all figured out.
- Empty-headed, narcissistic,
cheap, horrible,
stupid, spoiled, selfish, vain.
[tires screeching]
[car rumbling]
You seen that?
Steven Seagal's got a
woman in a full face hood
and it looks like her hands
are cuffed behind her back.
- A rendition at an
entertainment apartment?
- Hm, two possibilities,
she's a suspected terrorist
or they've got some
weird S&M thing going on,
either way, she's about to
get well and truly fucked.
[tense melodic music]
- I'll call it in.
- [Sofia] What is going on?
What are you doing please?
- Turn around.
- Please let go of me.
- Goddammit!
[drapes rattling]
[suspenseful jazz music]
[tense melodic music]
- Oh, my God.
What has he done to you?
Sofia?
Hi, I'm Beth Barnes from
Cybercom at the NSA.
You look uncomfortable.
- This is nothing, the
last time I was handcuffed,
I was beaten black and blue.
- Oh, my God, by who?
- The FARC, national police,
various right-wing
self defense groups,
they all hate my kind.
- Well, look, I am
not gonna let anyone
lay a finger on you here.
You're on US soil
and you have rights.
- [Buck] Mm-hm.
- We just wanna know
about an Asian guy
you've been talking to.
- Toshi?
- [Beth] Maybe, how old is he?
- [Sofia] Early forties.
- So you've been seeing him?
- [laughing] Yeah, we hooked up.
- What does he do for a living?
- [Sofia] He's a tech guy.
- Oh, what kind of tech?
- Hm, you're very interested
to know about him, yes?
So this is valuable information
and that has a price, my friend.
- What do you want?
- [Sofia] American citizenship.
- I'd like to help
you with that.
- [Sofia] I need it in writing.
- Alright.
[tense melodic music]
Listen, you bitch, I know that
you're an illegal immigrant,
so unless you play ball,
I'm gonna hand you
over to the Brits
and you can go back to El Dorado
or maybe I will
just put a bullet
in your stupid fucking face,
wrap you up in a blanket
and throw you in a dumpster.
It depends on how
the mood takes me.
- We don't tolerate toxic
masculinity anymore.
- Kitchen.
First off, you shouldn't
have been interrogating her,
you are here to supply
technical support, period.
Second, since you
had already started,
I was applying an
interrogation technique.
I let you do the soft approach
and then I shot through
with a more aggressive one.
Now I'm gonna go back in
there and be easy with her,
she'll be confused, it'll
be harder for her to lie.
- Okay, I wasn't
following protocol,
but this looks very
much like a rendition.
- Do not get in the middle
of something you
don't understand.
You are a technical advisor
with the rank of Special
Officer First Class.
Your duty is to obey my
instructions, is that clear?
Is that fucking clear?
- Yes, yes, sir.
- When I ask personal questions,
you ask technical ones.
Do not give her time to focus.
- It's okay, I know very
well what men are like.
- [Beth] It's not okay.
- Alright.
So, I can get you
your citizenship
on two conditions,
the first is you convince
me that your boyfriend
is this um, Sushi Nama-
- Satoshi Nakamoto.
- Yeah, him, the creator of
Bitcoin and the Blockchain.
Second, you set him
up, so we can grab him.
- It's a deal.
Could you unzip my jacket?
I'm feeling really hot.
- Yeah, do it.
[zipper whirring]
- Maybe another
button of my blouse?
- [Beth] I think
you, you look great.
- So how long have
you been seeing him?
- For a few weeks.
- How many times a week?
- [Sofia] Two or three times.
- What kind of relationship
do you have with him?
- [laughing] It
is mainly sexual.
- Mm-hm, what kind of sexual?
- Wild, crazy, intense.
- What are some of the technical
terms you've heard him use?
- Cryptonography,
stroganography,
Bitcoin, that kind of thing.
- Could that have
been steganography?
- Something like that.
- What has he said
about Bitcoin?
- I don't remember,
something about Genesis.
- Genesis block?
- Yeah, maybe.
- What gets him off?
- The usual things,
blood sharp nails.
- So he likes a
little bit of pain?
- [Sofia] For sure.
- What are some of the
words he's used frequently?
- I'm feeling horny, put
my cock in your mouth.
- Phrases unrelated
to sex, please.
- Proof of words
speaks for itself.
Computational, impractical,
that kind of thing.
- Those are definitely
words and phrases he's used,
but it proves nothing,
a few years ago,
we used the writers invariant
method of stylometry
to compare his posts to
trillions of other samples.
Although word use and
sentence structure
is more identifiable
than a fingerprint,
we found dozens of definite
matches, which suggests-
- So he likes sex
a little weird, hm?
- For sure,
believe me, nobody ever
complained about my blowjobs,
but with him, it always
has to have a kinky spin.
- Does he have a birthmark?
- He has a big, pink one on
his left, no, right buttock.
- [claps] Bingo.
- That's a thing, is it?
- Yeah.
- Well, I guess you can go
and send that report then.
Why don't we,
[keys jangling]
loosen these cuffs a little?
[traffic rumbling quietly]
[objects clattering quietly]
[intercom buzzing loudly]
- Uh!
[objects clattering]
Damn, damn it! [inhales deeply]
[intercom beeping]
- Yep?
- Good news, sir, the Columbian
asset has been verified
by Special Officer Barnes.
- She make any complaint
about people being snatched
off the street and thrown
into a black Chevy Suburban?
- No, sir, she was
a little put out
after discovering the
entertainment menu,
but I think we're past that now.
The Columbian asset is
willing to set up Satoshi,
but she wants
citizenship in return.
- Well, let's expedite
that right quick
and clear Johnson to
snatch the main asset
as soon as he's ready.
- Yes, sir.
[intercom beeping]
[Colonel Pike sighing]
[phone ringing]
- Please leave your message.
- Hey sweetie, it's me.
Looks like I'm going to be
inside the wire all night.
I can't say more,
secret squirrel.
[receiver clattering]
[Colonel Pike sighing]
- Homeland has granted
you citizenship.
- Now you gotta make the
call, you up for that?
- No problem.
- Now make sure you arrange
it for somewhere quiet.
- Okay.
Hey, Pappy, how are you doing?
It's me.
Pretty good, just
chilling, watching movies,
but I've been missing
you a little bit.
Do you want to meet up tomorrow?
Hm.
My tongue on the underside
and my teeth on top
and then as you push
deeper and deeper,
that is when I scratch the
underside of your nut sack
with my sharp, pointed nails
and that is when your
hip starts jerking.
[laughing] Don't be silly.
You know very well that if
I take you all the way in,
I don't need to swallow.
How about we meet under the
bridge, where I did you before?
Hm, you like it?
Okay, I'll see you at 12.
Okay.
[Sofia speaking in
a foreign language]
You hang up.
No, you hang up. [laughing]
Okay.
He's in Oxford, but I
got you a quiet location.
I'll give you directions.
- Nice going.
- You must be exhausted,
shall I show you to your room?
- Oh, come on, I think she's
earned a large whiskey.
- Maybe she doesn't want one.
[cork squeaking]
- A whiskey sounds good.
- What about you, Beth?
[whiskey pouring]
You want a carrot
juice or something?
There you go, darling.
- Thank you, big boy.
- [Beth] You good?
- I'm great, thank you.
- Let's go.
- Fuck.
- Sleep well.
[door thudding]
[soft melodic music]
[door thudding]
[soft melodic music]
[door clicking]
[soft melodic music]
[switch clicking]
[mellow melodic music]
[switch clicking]
[door clicking]
[door thudding quietly]
- Thought you could
do with a nightcap.
[cork squeaking]
[cork clattering]
Say when.
[whiskey pouring]
Alright.
[whiskey pouring]
So I was thinking we could
run through some contingencies
just in case Sushi
doesn't wanna play a ball.
One option could be to act
out a mock torture scene,
if that's something
you're okay with?
- What does it involve?
- Well, it would have to be
a little bit sexual in nature
just to manipulate his
protective feelings.
So, [inhales deeply]
maybe I get your breasts out.
- If you think that will help.
- Hm.
Maybe I'll just
slap them a little,
call you a bitch or something?
- Yes, please.
- [hand slapping gently] Bitch.
Maybe a little harder this time,
I call you a fucking slut?
- Okay.
- [Buck] You fucking slut.
- Ah!
- Would that get to him,
am I under his skin?
- Not even close.
- [Buck] No, maybe I do it
a little harder then, huh?
- Yes.
- You cock sucking whore.
- Ah!
[both breathing heavily]
- Oh yeah.
Oh yeah, yeah.
Hurry up, hurry the fuck
up. [breathing heavily]
[zipper whirring]
Yeah, yeah, suck it,
suck it, suck it!
- Mm.
- Ssh, ssh, ssh!
Suck it!
Yeah.
Yeah, that's alright,
yeah, that's right, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[Sofia moaning]
Fuck, yeah, ssh!
[Sofia moaning]
[Buck breathing heavily]
Fuck, yeah, fuck, yeah, so good.
Choke on that, bitch,
choke on that, bitch!
Choke on that, bitch!
[breathing heavily]
I'm gonna come, I'm gonna
come, I'm gonna come!
Give me the pussy,
let me feel the pussy.
What the fuck?
[breathing heavily]
Ah! [groaning]
Fuck!
[soft tense music]
[Buck sobbing]
[Buck thudding to floor]
- You got your rocks
off, didn't you?
At least they're smaller
now than they were,
thanks to the estrogen.
[door clicking]
[door thudding]
[dog barking]
[Sofia gargling]
[shower running]
[Buck groaning]
[Buck spitting]
[tense melodic music]
[Buck gagging]
[tense melodic music]
[birds chirping]
- [Beth] So there were
some strange noises
coming from Sofia's
bedroom last night.
- [Buck] Yeah, is that right?
- Mm-hm, sounded like
you were in there,
which would've just been
mindbogglingly unprofessional.
- Are you serious?
You didn't notice?
She's a fucking transvestite.
- You mean transgender?
- Whatever.
I swear to God, I would
rather stick pins in my eyes
than have sex with one of those.
- Good morning.
- Hi.
Ah, do you want some breakfast?
- I'll have that banana, please.
- I, ah, forgot
to have a shower.
[intense melodic music]
[Buck breathing deeply]
[intense melodic music]
[Buck sighing with relief]
I'm good to go.
- It's only 8:15.
- I gotta brief the Delta team,
those guys are pretty
dumb, might take a while.
[cupboard door thudding]
[door lock beeping]
[door clicking]
- You okay?
[door thudding]
- Yes.
We had a bit of fun last night.
- I'm gonna take a bath.
[phone ringing]
- Gomez.
- Captain Johnson has just
had sex with the asset.
- Did you witness this, ah, act?
- No, of course not.
[faucet water running]
But the asset has confirmed
it in conversation.
- Let me pull up
the video feeds.
Looks like the system's down.
- What a coincidence.
- Okay, leave it with me.
- Should I prepare an affidavit?
- I'll consult with the Colonel.
[gentle orchestral music]
[intercom buzzing loudly]
[head thudding]
- Uh!
Shit!
[intercom beeping]
Yeah?
- Captain Johnson's
had sex with the asset.
- And?
- And he shut down the
internal surveillance system.
- This ain't his first rodeo.
[intercom beeping]
[gentle orchestral music]
[camera clicking]
- [snapping fingers] This
must be the detainee.
[phone ringing]
It's weird she's unsupervised.
Well, the bimbo must be busy.
She's probably watching
the Kardashians,
whilst getting
her anus bleached.
- Okay, look, [clears throat]
I get it, yeah, I really do.
You're upset, that's
natural, he dumped you,
but if you blame a whole
nation for your pain,
that's not gonna resolve it.
You need to,
feel it to heal it.
- So when, when you had your arm
around the bloke at
the coffee station,
were you giving him
relationship advice?
It would just explain
the harassment charge.
- Yeah, yeah, sorry.
You're-you're right,
it's none of my business.
I-I need to be, gotta learn
to be less expressive.
- Biometrics has
fucked up again.
According to this, she's a
bloke called Diego Ramirez
and the only thing he's
likely to have in common
with the woman across the
street is illegal immigration.
- Steven Seagal is back with
another hooded rendition.
Better call it in.
[tense melodic music]
[door clicking]
[door thudding]
- Is that really him?
Oh, my God, Satoshi?
Hi, I'm Beth Barnes from Cyber-
- What are you doing?
- Well, I was just saying hi.
- You're here to gather
information, not give it away.
Jesus Christ!
- I get it, bitch set me up.
What, you get
pissed, US passport?
- We need to see his buttocks.
- Don't we get to
know each other first?
- Shut up, take his pants off.
- Why me?
- Do it!
Come on.
Oh, fuck, I'll do it!
[Satoshi grunting]
- Bingo.
- Yeah, yeah, bingo,
bitch! [breathing heavily]
[eerie melodic music]
[Buck breathing deeply]
- You've met Buck.
When he comes back, things
are not gonna go well for you,
but if you give me a back
door into the Blockchain,
I can save you a lot of grief
and a one-way ticket
to Guantanamo.
- Fuck off.
[intercom buzzing loudly]
- Uh!
[Colonel Pike breathing deeply]
[intercom beeping]
Yep?
- Satoshi has been
verified, sir.
- Easy as pie, let's get
him to Guantanamo ASAP.
- A slight hiccup.
- Dagnabbit!
Does nothing ever go to plan?
- I dispatched the jet
as soon as the Columbian
asset was confirmed,
so that it would be ready
to bring the target to Cuba
the moment he was verified,
But I've just found out that
it flew to the city of London
in Ohio, it's a
very small airport.
The pilot's managed to refuel
and is now en route
to London, England.
[intercom beeping]
[door clicking]
- They're sending a jet, but
we've got an eight-hour wait.
- I can save them the trouble.
- I don't think he's
gonna cooperate.
- Sure he will.
[Buck sighing heavily]
I don't like faggots,
but you're not even a
real faggot, are you?
You need a pair of
tits to squeeze,
while you fuck a
girl-boy up the ass.
- Why all the attitude, stud?
Did you taste the man pussy?
You did. [laughing]
[Buck grunting]
[Satoshi groaning]
Where are you taking me?
- Hey, what are you doing?
Buck!
[door clicking]
- Get in there!
[door thudding]
[door locking]
[loud rock music]
- [knocking] Buck!
Buck!
[loud rock music]
- I like the song.
- Shut your mouth.
- I would drink you up like,
like a strawberry milkshake.
[blow thudding]
Uh!
Ooh!
[Satoshi sighing]
Masculine, angry.
You're so attractive.
Don't waste one minute
[blow thudding]
Uh!
Oh, my nose.
Don't waste one minute
- [knocking] Buck!
Broke, broken through
The world's messed
up as you'll see
[blows thudding]
[Satoshi grunting]
You resist
- You still finding my
masculinity attractive?
Grab it all
Let's fly
[Buck breathing heavily]
So let's fly
Yeah
[Satoshi breathing heavily]
My back foot shuffles
[Buck belching]
All the way, all the way
I couldn't manage
You'll never know me
You'll never know me
Don't mess with us
The complacent
rides around me
And grab it all
- I know exactly what you need.
[Satoshi grunting]
- Oh, my God, Buck, this
is completely illegal.
He has rights.
[door clicking]
- [Buck] Get in.
[door thudding]
- [hand banging] Buck!
- Get down.
[Satoshi grunting]
- Buck, what is going on?
[hand banging] Buck!
- Don't fucking move!
[objects clattering]
[faucet water running]
- Open the door!
[wet flannel slapping]
[water pouring]
- Keep your head still,
you fucking faggot!
[Beth knocking]
- [hand banging]
Buck, open the door!
[door clicking]
- Come in here.
I need you to hold
his head straight.
- You're waterboarding him?
- Clasp your hands
both sides of his head,
hold his head straight.
- No fucking way!
- Hold his head
fucking straight!
- This is illegal,
I am not gonna-
- [Buck] This is war, soldier!
- Okay.
[wet flannel slapping]
[water pouring]
[Satoshi grunting]
- Hold his head
straight, goddammit.
[water pouring]
[Satoshi grunting]
Yeah. [breathing heavily]
[Satoshi coughing]
I need a back door
to the Blockchain.
[Satoshi coughing]
- I'm betting this
isn't the first time
you've been after reinventions.
- Fuck!
[Satoshi laughing]
[bucket clanking]
[faucet water running]
[Buck breathing heavily]
[wet flannel slapping]
[water pouring]
[Satoshi grunting]
- We were tasked with
asset verification,
not extracting intel, this
is completely illegal.
He's drowning, we're
killing him, he's dying!
- No water's getting
into his lungs,
that's the whole fucking point!
[Beth thudding to floor]
[bucket clanking]
Damn it, wake up.
[Buck thudding to floor]
Fuck!
[water sloshing]
[Buck breathing heavily]
Wake up, come on, come on.
[water sloshing]
[Buck breathing heavily]
[Buck thudding to floor]
Uh!
[Beth shrieking]
Fuck!
[Satoshi laughing]
[Buck grunting]
[faucet water running]
- Finally, I'm
between your thighs.
[Buck grunting]
[wet flannel slapping]
[water pouring]
[Satoshi grunting]
- [Buck] Yeah.
- Oh, my God.
Oh, let me help you.
[tense melodic music]
I get you a cup of tea, okay.
- Okay. [breathing heavily]
- Why does she keep
opening the curtains?
- Because she's an empty-headed
American narcissist.
- No, you, you don't
know that about her.
The facts of the matter
are that she's a,
a mysterious woman
with a complex history
and a rich, emotional life
and she's soaking wet.
- Perhaps she had a shower
and forgot to take
her clothes off.
- Can't you see
what you're doing?
You are reducing the American
woman to a comic stereotype,
so you don't have to deal with
your feelings about Callum
choosing her over you.
- I don't need to reduce them
to a comic stereotype, they do
that themselves, look at her.
- You've neutralized a threat
Callum's new girlfriend poses
by making her a caricature
you can scorn and laugh at.
Did you notice this
one was shaking?
- Yeah, well, she probably
couldn't find the hot tap.
[Martin groaning in frustration]
[soft melodic music]
- Looks like Barbie's
GPS is malfunctioning.
[Beth breathing deeply]
[soft melodic music]
[water squelching]
[water pouring]
- Suck on that, bitch!
[Satoshi grunting]
[Satoshi gasping]
What's that?
[Satoshi coughing]
Huh, you make another joke,
faggot? Can't quite make it out.
[water pouring]
[Satoshi grunting]
[Satoshi coughing]
You need to give us the way
into the Blockchain, buddy.
[Satoshi breathing heavily]
[Satoshi laughing]
Oh, fuck!
[water pouring]
[Satoshi grunting]
Fucker!
[tense orchestral music]
[door clicking]
[water pouring]
[Buck grunting]
[tense orchestral music]
- Right.
[tense orchestral music]
Come on.
Following two completely
illegal renditions,
Captain Johnson
has just forced me
to participate in an
act of waterboarding.
[eerie intense music]
As I'm certain you know,
President Obama signed an
executive order in 2009
banning the use of torture
by any government agency.
- Here is your tea.
- Thank you.
I want it on record
that I took part
under the explicit
threat of court martial
and under considerable duress.
Please acknowledge
receipt of foregoing.
[melodic orchestral music]
[door knocking]
[doorbell ringing]
[tense orchestral music]
[doorbell ringing]
[door banging]
[intense orchestral music]
[door clicking]
- There's water coming
through my fucking ceiling.
I'm assuming you've let the
bath water overflow again.
Christ knows what
you do in there.
- I'll look into that, sorry.
- Yeah, you're-you're
new here, aren't you, hm?
Well, this isn't the first
time I've had to come around,
not by a long chalk, loud
music, raucous laughter,
sundry sexual sound effects.
You know, I'm not gonna be
fobbed off with any more lies.
You know, I-I think
you and your friends
have got some sort sort of
CIA whore house in there.
I've seen all these young
tarts coming up the stairs,
every nationality
you can think of.
[Buck roaring]
[background piano music]
Listen, if this
doesn't stop forthwith,
I'm gonna get in touch
with "The Guardian."
As much as they loathe
that bleeding heart,
liberal publication, it's
probably about the only one,
that has any
interest in the truth
and God, they would lap
up a CIA sex scandal,
believe you me, do
I make myself clear?
[door thudding]
[door lock beeping]
[door clicking]
- Hey, have you finished?
- [Buck] Time for a
change of strategy.
[upbeat music]
[door lock beeping]
[upbeat music continues]
- Oh, my God, you okay?
- It was so degrading.
- You must be in shock, here.
[water whooshing]
[head thudding]
- Fuck!
- Sorry, sorry, oh my God,
as if you haven't
suffered enough.
Here, let me help you.
[Colonel Pike snoring]
[intercom buzzing loudly]
[Colonel Pike gasping]
[Colonel Pike breathing deeply]
[intercom beeping]
- Yep?
- Barnes has
reported that Johnson
has been waterboarding Satoshi.
- There's no slack in his
rope, I'll give him that.
Maybe he'll choke the
truth out of the bastard
and save us a flight.
- I'm afraid she's making
a formal complaint, sir.
[helicopter whirring]
[ominous melodic music]
- [Soldier] With respect, sir,
you gave them the
wrong coordinates.
- [Gomez] Sir?
- Acknowledge the
formal complaint,
but hold off on filing it.
Let's give Johnson
a little time.
- Yes, sir.
[intercom beeping]
Shit.
- Son of a bitch!
[mellow melodic music]
Some call this sodium pentamax,
some call it truth serum.
- No, no, no, no, that's
completely illegal!
- [Buck] I call it an end
to your masochist bullshit.
- [Beth] International
law prohibits the use
of mind-altering
drugs on prisoners.
- [Buck] Butt out,
soldier, that's an order.
[mellow melodic music]
[Beth groaning]
[intercom beeping]
- Gomez.
- I hear you have
a million Bitcoin
and even at 15 grand a pop,
that still makes you a
billionaire 15 times over.
That's a lot of cash
and unless you cooperate
right fucking now,
the NSA's gonna seize it all.
[Satoshi laughing]
- That's just not
going to happen, stud,
which is exactly why
the US government
wants to crush cryptocurrencies.
There's no way they
can control them,
much like your wide-ranging
sexual desires.
- How do we get
into the Blockchain?
- I think it's time you
answered some questions.
- I'm the one
answering the fuck-
- What do you two really
think of each other?
- This guy?
He's a selfish, arrogant,
superior, bullying cunt.
This guy is pure
toxic masculinity.
- Toxic masculinity?
- Yeah, that's just a term
that feminists use to
try and manipulate men
into feeling ashamed
of being real men.
- Only a man with no
shame could say that.
- Hey, I've gotta tell
you something, babe.
- Don't call me babe.
- The only thing that
you feminists have done
is to stop men from being
men, you've had their balls.
- What, so being made to
treat women with respect
makes men feel castrated?
- Not real men, the ones that
cave to feminine pressure,
well, they're obviously pussies.
- Wow, it's amazing
how much sexism
you can cram into
just one sentence.
Do you work at that or is it
just the natural macho bigotry?
- So what have you
got against men?
- Their brutal insensitivity.
- Did you experience
that growing up?
- Yeah, my dad,
Colonel Brad Barnes sure didn't
win any medals for chivalry.
[soft orchestral music]
[projector whirring]
- [Brad] Left, right,
left, right, left, right.
Left, right, left, right.
The order was side
to side, soldier,
that's insubordination
right there.
That's 17, 23 to go.
Suck it up, soldier.
- The only nice thing he ever
said to me was, "Good job,"
when I managed to follow
his orders precisely.
- And now you serve the NSA,
American military organization?
- Yeah.
I blindly follow
orders, it's in my DNA,
some asshole tells me
what to do and I do it.
Sometimes I challenge it, it
never makes any difference,
I get frozen out or ignored.
- As a chain of command,
it's a logical system.
- It's a masculine system.
Women would never create
such a rigid structure,
which is why I feel more
comfortable with them.
- Ah, I knew it, you're
a fucking lesbian.
- Because I have a problem
with men, I must be a lesbian?
- You're deflecting.
Answer the question.
- No, I'm not
and I'm done with following
orders from anyone.
- What's behind your homophobia?
- Who, me?
It's just not right.
- Does your family
feel the same way?
- Yeah, my brothers sure do.
- What about your dad?
- Well, he was a
Sergeant in the NYPD,
so what do you think?
- Was he as
homophobic as you are?
- I mean, he didn't
like faggots, [laughing]
but there was a...
- But what?
- No, no, I can't tell you.
- Yeah, you can.
- No, there was the one time
he was standing in
front of the mirror.
- [Satoshi] What was he doing?
[soft melodic music]
[projector whirring]
[ominous melodic music]
- He was standing in
front of the mirror
and he was wearing
my mom's underwear.
[Beth laughing]
I mean, my dad was no fairy,
you know, he was,
he was a tough guy,
he was a good guy and
he would go, sport,
playing sports with us and
he would drink with us,
he'd have beers
and he was strong
and he could bench like
300 fucking pounds.
- I can see why masculinity
is so important to you.
- Yeah, men should be men.
- Except when they're not.
- [sighing heavily]
I don't know,
things just didn't seem
to be the same after that.
Even when he was working, I
just kept on wondering whether
his police uniform was
hiding a red bra and panties.
[Buck and Beth laughing]
Yeah.
Why the fuck am I
telling you all this?
- I feel really
weird. [laughing]
- Wait a minute.
[soft tense music]
That's just water.
- What?
- Oh man, I feel like
a real dork. [laughing]
- [Beth] Did you put
it in our drinks?
Why would you do that?
- We believe in freedom
of information. [laughing]
[ominous melodic music]
[gun clicking]
[soft tense music]
[gun firing]
- Whoo!
[Beth laughing]
- I feel really good.
[mellow melodic music]
Oh, my colon is a busting.
[phone ringing]
[mellow melodic music]
[intercom buzzing loudly]
[objects clattering]
- Goddammit!
That glue's about as
useless as teats on a bull.
[drawer clicking]
[intercom buzzing loudly]
[intercom beeping]
Yep?
- There's been a gunshot
in the London entertainment
apartment, sir.
It's possible Captain
Johnson shot Satoshi.
- I hope we got the intel first.
- I phoned him immediately,
sir, but he killed the call.
[eerie melodic music]
[guns firing]
- [Soldier] Medevac's
touched down,
we've got five
casualties on board.
The bird's good to go.
- Send in the Delta team.
Have them find out what
the hell is going on
and report back right quick.
[Alice panting fearfully]
[walking frame squeaking]
- [Alice] No.
[Buck exhaling heavily]
[tense melodic music]
- Alright.
Alright.
Here you go.
Whoa, silly, no, look,
trigger discipline says
that you need to extend
and rest the trigger finger
on the frame of the firearm,
that makes it a
lot more difficult
to accidentally discharge,
I'm gonna be back in a moment.
Okay.
[tense orchestral music]
[door thudding]
[door knocking loudly]
[tense orchestral music]
[door clicking]
- Ah, now listen, I want-
[door thudding]
- How dare you shut
the door in my face!
[phone beeping]
- Oh.
That one, yes, yes.
[tense melodic music]
[phone ringing]
- [999 Operator] Emergency,
which service do you require,
fire, police or ambulance?
- I, I, I,
terrorist alert.
- [999 Operator] Police?
- [panting] Terr, terr, terr.
- Madame?
- Terrorist.
There is an ISIS training camp
in the apartment downstairs.
[tense melodic music]
[Buck breathing heavily]
- I'm feeling really
vulnerable right now.
I've got a gun in my hands
and I've just told you
all of my secrets, but I
know nothing about yours.
[gun firing]
Oh!
- Oh!
They've, they've just
executed another hostage.
- [George] Well, now
you're taking the piss.
[soft melodic music]
- What have I done?
I didn't follow orders,
did I? [laughing]
[traffic rumbling quietly]
- Ah,
what the fuck is this?
- It belongs to a
volunteer intern
from the American Battle
Monuments Commission.
- Is this a fucking joke?
Where is our Chevy?
- [Bo] It's in the shop,
the AC's on the fritz.
- Who gives a shit about the AC?
We're in England,
for Christ sake!
- What can I say? I have
hyperthyroidism, I overheat.
- Fucking clown car, Bo.
- Come on, get your asses in.
- Why are you standing?
Go on, come on.
Get your ass in the car.
- Ah!
- [Alonzo] Let's go,
motherfucker, you,
you sit at the back.
- I'm sorry.
- Let's go, come on.
- I'm sorry.
- Man, shit!
- Come on, in, come on.
[car door thudding]
- I'm sorry.
- Your dumb ass should be back
here, I should fucking drive.
What the fuck?
[kick thudding]
- Ah!
- Move your leg, man.
What the fuck you
think this is, man?
Fuck, all spread out and shit.
[car seat thudding]
- Uh!
- Ah, shit!
- Ah!
- Come on.
Come on.
[car door thudding]
- Motherfucker.
[car engine starting]
[car revving]
[tires screeching]
[George banging loudly]
[door lock beeping]
[door clicking]
- Hey, asshole, keep it down.
- I beg your pardon?
[door thudding]
[door lock beeping]
Damn it!
You wait 'til I call the police.
[tense melodic music]
[cork squeaking]
[whiskey pouring]
[Buck gasping]
- [Buck] Oh, fuck.
[tense melodic music]
[George banging loudly]
[tense melodic music]
- Oh, yeah.
[door clicking]
I just accidentally had more
of the truth juice by accident,
but there's plenty left
over for you motherfuckers.
[tense melodic music]
[phone ringing]
- Yeah.
You were right, the old lady
that lives above the love nest
just reported two gunshots.
[gun clicking]
One of them went
through her floor.
- Ah, where are you going?
- Well, I'm gonna pose
as her niece, find
out what's going on.
- No, I don't think
that's the best idea.
- I'm not scared of
those fucking idiots.
- Yeah, that's what I'm
worried about, Connie.
[Connie exhaling heavily]
[gentle melodic music]
- Hey.
Are you feeling it yet?
Is it kicking in?
- I feel,
pretty stoned.
- Yeah.
- It's like a cross
between ketamine and weed,
but strong weed,
like one of those
indica hybrids?
[both laughing]
- What about you?
- What do you want to know?
- What's wrong with
being a regular guy?
- Regular as in
White, straight males?
The grown up men that are
obsessed with toys and badges?
- Yeah.
- Or the faithful husbands
who spend hours each week
watching other people
having sex on their screens?
The well balanced men who
insist the women they date
have the hairless vagina
of a nine-year old girl?
Or the normal men who have an
absolute horror of buggery,
but can't wait to fuck
their girlfriend in the ass?
Those kind of regular guys?
- Sure, why not?
- Can you imagine
what it would be like
to know you're born with
the wrong genitalia?
[soft melodic music]
- No.
- My parents were like that.
[projector whirring]
I had a penis and testicles,
therefore I was a boy
and that was the end of it,
no gray area, no discussion.
I realized I had
to find my own way.
I learned to put myself first,
to look after my own interest.
[soft melodic music]
I never told anyone more
than they needed to know,
even in the face of abuse.
I pursued my agenda, my purpose,
which is to survive as a woman.
- I have so much
respect for you.
- Me too.
[soft melodic music]
- Aw.
[Beth laughing]
[Sofia inhaling deeply]
- I'm fucking bombed.
[all laughing]
[soft melodic music]
Hey.
Are you Sashimi Nakamoto or not?
- No.
- Satoshi Nakamoto.
- Yeah.
Are you Sushi Nakamoto?
- No.
- Satoshi Nakamoto.
- Are you Saposhi Nakanoko?
- No.
- Satoshi Nakamoto.
- Are you Sushi
Nasamakoro or not?
- No.
- Satoshi Nakamoto.
- Yeah, what she said?
- No.
- Don't tell me that
she's saying it wrong.
- I'm not him.
- Well, who the
fuck are you then?
- [laughing] I'm Jee Kim Lee,
originally from Busan in Korea,
but I've lived in the
US and UK for 26 years.
I'm a crypto anarchist.
- What the fuck is
a crypto anarchist?
- Someone who's dedicated
to enabling people
to engage in
unlimited free speech,
economic transactions
beyond the reach
of the asshole corrupt
state's ability
to tax and regulate. [laughing]
- Wait, every time you turn
on a faucet or take a shit,
you benefit from the state.
Who do you, who
do you think pays
for the sate-satellites and
the cables for the Internet?
- What about the birthmark?
You had a birthmark.
- That's real.
We knew that when our phone
conversations were flagged,
you'd do another
background sweep,
so we hacked some old blogs,
planted some details about it,
then made sure you'd find them.
- Oh, my God, so you
set this whole thing up?
- It was much easier than
we expected. [laughing]
- We never thought we'd get
an entertainment
apartment out of it, huh?
[all laughing]
[soft melodic music]
[soft tense music]
- Whoops!
[George banging loudly]
- [sighing] Oh, for fuck's sake.
Look after that, I'll be back.
- Ooh ooh!
[George banging loudly]
- Oh, you, you, I have
to tell you something.
Fair enough, yeah, if that's
the way you want to play it,
then I'm gonna phone
"The Guardian."
[door clicking]
Yeah.
No, don't, what do you
think you're doing?
[door thudding]
[door locking]
Oh, what are you doing?
What are you giving me?
- Sodium pentamax, it's great.
You're gonna have a
fucking ball, man.
- You-you, you're insane?
- I know it sounds crazy,
but the truth really
will set you free.
Hey, do you like malt whiskey?
- Wh-wh-what?
- I'm feeling happy.
Jee Kim is going to give me
the money to set up a new life.
[gentle melodic music]
'Cause I've got what he needs.
- Oh, that's real nice of you.
- Sounds like she's earned it.
- [Beth] What did
she have to do?
[door clicking]
- Everybody.
This is George, he's
from downstairs.
He's feeling a little anxious,
so I told him that we'll
just make him feel at home.
- George, hey, we've met.
You wanna have a seat?
- Um, I-I...
- [Buck] Ah, okay.
So where are we at?
- Boys, men, soldiers, they
were always cruel to me.
Nobody accepted me as I was.
- Well, I mean, you could've
been a little bit more upfront
about what was
between your legs.
- Stop it, there
were no complaints,
'til you put your
hands in my panties.
- Well, what was there
to complain about?
You got a great pair of tits,
blowjob was fucking amazing.
It was just awesome.
[soft melodic music]
- [Protestors] Meat is
murder, meat is murder!
Meat is murder, meat is murder!
[car horns tooting]
- If this is your
idea of a shortcut,
I'd hate to go the long
way around with you.
- Chances are the
animal rights bunch
have fubarred half
the streets in London.
- You'd have to be
something abnormal.
- You got that right,
fucking vegans.
All fucking whack jobs, man.
- And they all
look so unhealthy.
- You don't eat your meat,
you don't get your nutrients.
- They're just trying to do
the right thing for the planet.
- Yo, don't point that
fucking thing at me, man.
- They're getting their
vegan shit from organic,
non-dig methods, they're
destroying the soil bio.
- Everybody knows you
don't milk your cows,
the titties will explode.
[car horns tooting]
[car revving]
[car brakes screeching]
[muffled gun firing]
[all laughing]
- Yo, the new guy just
shot himself in the foot.
- I'm good.
- You good?
You straight?
- Yep.
- [Josh] That's what
I like to hear, man.
Goddamn, Kumara, first
fucking day, shit.
[gentle melodic music]
- So if you're not
Satishi Nakamoto,
then why are you
pretending to be him?
- I'm sick of the US
government's bullying hypocrisy
and endless lies.
One of the chief facilitators
in those endless lies
is the NSA, Puzzle Palace,
Shadow Factory, the Fortress
of Fucking Fraudulence.
I'm gonna force those deceitful
scumbag pricks to be honest
about how they tried to
sabotage cryptocurrencies.
- How are you gonna do that?
- He has lots of ideas,
isn't that right, Jee Kim?
You want the right truths to
come out at the right time.
- I mean, I can help with that.
I've just got a whole
new angle on honesty,
just feels so much more free.
[melodic militaristic music]
[intercom buzzing loudly]
[intercom buzzing repeatedly]
[intercom beeping]
- Yeah?
- I've been trying to
get a hold of you, sir.
- I didn't hear the
buzzer, what, what is it?
- It sounds like they've
all had truth serum.
Satoshi claims to be
someone called Jee Kim,
who intends to force
the Agency to be honest
about how it's tried to
sabotage cryptocurrencies.
Special Officer Barnes
has discharged a firearm
and we've got a whole other
situation going on right now.
I'm patching you
through to a live feed
from Barnes' cell phone,
it'll come through
on your terminal.
[intercom beeping]
- [Jee Kim] Cryptocurrencies
threaten the banks,
the banks own the White House
and the White House
tells the NSA what to do.
- [Beth] Cybercom
has been monitoring
the Internet activities of
various Bitcoin users since 2013
via a program codenamed OAKSTAR.
[keyboard clattering]
Utilizing the XKeyscore
system and the OAKSTAR system
- Where the hell.
[intercom beeping]
- Where the hell is Delta team?
- They're 15 minutes out, sir.
- Those shit kickers were 20
minutes out 20 minutes ago.
- They got caught in
heavy traffic, sir.
Apparently an army of vegans
is marching on Parliament.
- Vegans, Holy Christ!
[military drumming music]
Tell that Delta team
I want them there
faster than a Prairie dog with
its ass on fire, you hear me?
- [Gomez] Yes, sir, right away.
- [Beth] We also planted
fake VPN services as a device
for observing the online
activities of Internet users.
- [Soldier] The hodgies
are bringing out RPGs,
they're trying to hit the bird,
do we call in an air strike?
What are your orders, sir? Sir!
[eerie melodic music]
Sir!
- Wow, OAKSTAR.
[gentle melodic music]
I didn't expect anyone
who worked for the NSA
to be so understanding
or helpful.
I thought you were all assholes.
You two are different.
- Thank you.
- But it doesn't change my goal.
I'm still gonna force
your Agency to come clean.
- How do you plan to do that?
- Because we-
- If you hadn't guessed,
Jee Kim has big
issues with authority.
If you heard him speak
about his mother,
who was the authority
in his early life,
you'd start to make
certain connections.
- Do you wanna tell
us about your mom?
- Yeah.
Come on, tell us, Kimchi.
- You just totally betrayed me.
I didn't tell you
about Megabitch, so
you could broadcast it
like some wannabe
Instagram influencer.
- Some truths need to be told.
- My mother had a lot of success
in the import-export trade.
She's a powerful,
asshole businesswoman,
who has to control
every single thing,
just like they all do.
She used to go through
my browsing history,
my emails and messages
and go through all the
files on my computer,
until I learned
about cryptography.
That fucked her little games.
She tried to force me
to give her the key,
but there was no way I was
ever going to give it to her.
[gentle melodic music]
[projector whirring]
She was a real spiteful bitch,
she liked to draw blood,
but I would've preferred
to die than give in to her.
In the end, she
stopped my allowance,
she grounded me indefinitely.
The only way I got to go outside
was by leaving that
ugly mansion for good.
- She fuck with you sexually?
- Buck!
- What? I was just asking.
- She fucked with my head.
- She sat on your face?
Jesus Christ! No wonder
you're gay, man, fuck!
- He means she fucked
him up psychologically.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course.
- And she often told me she
hurt me because she loved me.
Maybe that's why I enjoy pain.
- Well, I mean, you know,
I kinda enjoyed
dishing it out to you.
- Not everyone could
admit something like that.
I take my hat off to you.
[gentle melodic music]
- As long as you
keep your pants on.
[all laughing]
- Okay.
- [George] Who are
all you people?
- Oh, George.
Hey, I'm sorry I didn't
do the introductions.
I'm Beth from the
NSA and this is Buck
and we are here on a special
assignment to interview,
Shi, oh, fuck, Shitshoto,
Shitshoto Nakamoto,
creator of Bitcoin
and we thought, no, we
thought this guy was Shitosho,
but it turns out that he's
Jee Kim Lee from Busan
and this, ah, this is Sofia,
his Colombian
transgender friend.
Do you wanna tell
us about yourself?
- Well, I, I don't like
foreigners for a start,
now I find myself completely
surrounded by them.
- Why don't you like foreigners?
- No, well, for, for
any number of reasons.
- Break them out, George.
- Huh, very well.
Well, North Americans I
find crass and boorish.
Central and South Americans
are drug peddlers.
The French are arrogant with
nothing to be arrogant about.
The, the Dutch I
find cold and rude.
The Germans have a
superiority complex
with nothing to be superior
about having lost two world wars
and the Austrians, I, oh,
I mean, they're
second rate Germans.
The Danish are pornographers.
The Belgians are
interfering bureaucrats.
The, the, the Swiss
are bent bankers
and there's no point in
even mentioning Luxembourg.
Did you know that before 2009,
the Spanish age of
sexual consent was 13?
So I think that tells you all
we need to know about them.
Italian men are mummy's boys,
Italian women are their victims.
The Greeks are peasants with
a currency they don't deserve.
Africans are either rabid
Christians or thieves
and the less said
about Arabs the better.
- Whoa!
[soft orchestral music]
So what makes you so special?
What is it that makes
you so different
from all these other people?
Is it because you were born
into the British middle class,
is that it, but then
why did that happen?
Did you personally organize
that amazingly fortuitous event?
Did you earn that
privilege in some way?
No, you didn't, you
bigoted asshole!
[melodic orchestral music]
- Indians I find
dirty and stupid.
Australians are either
criminal, criminals or Asians
and there's too many
fucking Chinese!
[Jee Kim and Sofia laughing]
[melodic orchestral music]
- What about the Jews?
Most people like to
have a pop at them.
- Well, there's nothing
to say about the Jews,
that hasn't already been
covered by the Nazis.
[hand slapping]
Oh!
[doorbell ringing]
[George laughing]
You must be a
"Guardian" reader, hm?
[door lock beeping]
[door clicking]
- What's going on?
A bullet just went through
my aunt's living room floor.
I mean, what's.
[soft tense music]
[Buck grunting]
Relax, relax!
[both grunting]
[both laughing]
[soft melodic music]
- I don't know what that
American thug gave me,
heroin probably, but I need
to establish some boundaries.
- [Beth] Oh, George, I think
we've already established
far too many of those.
- Oh, don't be ridiculous,
you don't know what
you're talking about,
that moron Blair flung
open the gates, why?
To establish his
multi-cultural society
and as a result,
we're, we're overrun,
overwhelmed by aliens.
- Hey, [hand patting]
this is Martin.
- [Beth] Hey.
- [Jee Kim] National
borders are just speed bumps
on the Information
Super Highway, man.
- [George] Is that
what you lot think?
- [Jee Kim] What lot?
- Well, the Asians.
[Beth laughing]
- No, it's how crypto
anarchists think.
- Listen, whatever the
hell you call yourself,
you-you're living in
cloud cuckoo land.
National borders are
of crucial importance.
You fail to man those properly
and you lose your
culture, your traditions.
- No, Martin,
everything is not okay,
you are in a nest
of American vipers.
- You get mosques where
the local pub used to be,
people walking about the streets
in their fucking pajamas.
Everybody talking in
witless Americanisms.
- And you also look very
pissed or stoned or both.
God, I knew it was a mistake
to send you over there,
you are too much of a pussy
to deal with those pricks.
- I mean, alright, I mean,
Asians may not have much
that's worth holding
onto, but I can assure you
the British culture
and traditions
is, is invaluable,
irreplaceable.
[Beth laughing]
- You're right.
It is all about borders.
They are absolutely the problem.
Borders don't stop immigration,
but they do cause
pain and suffering
and often death to perfectly
innocent, lovely people.
They are a massive
violation of liberty,
whichever way you look at it.
Freedom of movement is
a basic human right.
Opening all borders would make
the whole planet
more prosperous.
Some believe it could more
than double the world's GDP,
maybe even double
the love as well
and the only way we're gonna
sort out climate change
is through global unity.
See, hm?
Ideas have no borders
and love knows no bounds.
We're all just flawed humans
just trying to make
our way in the world
and all our struggles
are connected.
[soft dreamy music]
Power should be collective
and justice equal
and that is why we need
to tear down the walls.
- Listen, matey, we pulled
down the Berlin Wall
and that unleashed
the Russian mafia
and that power-hungry
midget, Putin.
[soft dreamy music]
- This is great.
Everyone's telling
it like it is.
[man singing in
foreign language]
- You okay?
- I think I need
a strong coffee.
- Hm.
[soft dreamy music]
- Do you have the package?
- It's in a safe place.
- Go and get it.
[soft dreamy music]
[man singing in
foreign language]
- Is Beth okay?
- I think so.
- Maybe you should
give her a hand?
- Maybe I should
give you a hand.
- Cheeky.
- I just keep thinking
about your tits
and what you can do
with your tongue.
- Are you looking for
a repeated performance?
- I think I could really
enjoy it this time.
[soft dreamy music]
- Go and wait for
me in the bedroom.
[both laughing]
[soft dreamy music]
[Jee Kim groaning softly]
[soft melodic music]
[Buck exhaling heavily]
[mellow melodic music]
- You ready with the coats?
- First you need to
make my payments.
- You don't trust me?
- Go on.
[mellow melodic music]
[water bubbling]
[Colonel Pike grunting]
[water bubbling]
[helicopter whirring]
- [Soldier] That's 16
inbound, 60 seconds,
payload six Maverick AGLs.
We'll see how the
hodgies like them apples.
[helicopter whirring]
[artillery firing]
[guns firing]
[Colonel Pike groaning loudly]
Hodgie rockets at the
bird, she's going down!
The F-16's destroyed
the whole village,
it's full of women and children.
[guns firing]
With respect, sir, you gave
them the wrongs coordinates.
[clock ticking]
[tea pouring]
[Alice exhaling heavily]
[mellow melodic music]
- A hidden folder.
Your turn.
[mellow melodic music]
It's working.
- What are you doing?
- I'm uploading malware
to the NSA's mainframe.
- What kind of malware?
- It'll find all
files associated with
the Agency's efforts
to sabotage Bitcoin and then
release them to the media.
- And you're planning to do
that via my email account?
- That's the idea.
[soft tense music]
- It's not a very good idea.
- Because you'll shoot me?
- Because the Fort
Meade mail server
will reject anything
with an attachment.
- Fuck.
- You'll need to use CBFT,
it's the NSA's cloud-based
file transfer protocol.
- How would I be
able to access that?
- [Beth] I've got
the encryption key.
- [Jee Kim] And
you'll give it to me?
- [Beth] Sure, why not?
The Fort has been breaking
the law all over the place
and it's high time
those bullying assholes
were brought to beg.
- Dagnabbit!
When did all has happen?
[melodic militaristic music]
The Delta,
[intercom beeping]
the Delta team are
cleared to terminate.
Repeat, terminate
all the hodgies.
- Hodgies, sir, do
you mean the occupants
of the entertainment apartment?
- Kill them, kill them all!
- Yes, sir.
- And you need to-
[phone thudding]
You need to shut down
the CBFT right quick.
[head thudding]
[Colonel Pike sobbing]
[melodic orchestral music]
- This is my lucky day.
This is the world's lucky day.
[traffic rumbling quietly]
- They want everyone
terminated ASAP.
- Fucking A!
- [Bo] We're two blocks out,
it'll be quicker on foot.
- If we meet any vegans on
the way, they're dead meat.
- I'm a vegan.
- [Chip] Get the
fuck outta here.
- Your brain not
getting any protein.
No wonder you shot
yourself in the foot.
[car horns tooting]
[car doors clicking]
- [Moonbeam] Eat
pussy, it's vegan.
[Kumara groaning]
- Ah, shit, I've
got fucking cramp.
- Eat pussy, it's vegan.
- Ah, shit! Ah, I got
cramp, I got cramp!
- What's up, guys?
Ah, I'm just out educating
everyone tonight about veganism.
Basically there's
a saying, right?
You know, basically men and
humans should eat pussy.
- Hey, buddy!
- What's up, dude?
- Plants eat meat too, you know,
check out the Venus flytrap.
[car horns tooting]
- What the fuck you looking at?
- You stay in the car.
[car door thudding]
- Ah!
- [Chip] Never seen a
gun before, bitch, huh?
[footsteps thudding]
- Fuck you!
[gentle melodic music]
- What?
- When you watch a
building for a month,
you can't help but notice stuff.
Obviously our main
focus is the love nest.
MI5 want the
opportunity to blackmail
anyone the NSA's blackmailing,
but,
I have seen your flat, George,
I have seen your bookshelf,
I have seen the books you read.
- Huh?
- "Death of the West,"
"New Culture, New Right."
[soft tense music]
- Martin, you need to hear this.
five thugs with a set of keys
at the front door below you,
gotta be an NSA hit team,
can you acknowledge?
[soft melodic music]
Right, I'm calling this in.
- Look, I get it, George,
I get your fear of immigrants
and your fierce desire to
protect your traditions.
But that fear
isolates you, George
and as you shy away from
what the UK has evolved into,
you're the one that
becomes marginalized.
I've noticed you don't have
visitors and that is sad.
You're missing out
on all the love.
You fear these people,
but if you let them in
just, just a little bit,
they become a lot less scary.
You have to look for what
you have in common with them.
What football team
do you support?
- Well, if you
must know, Chelsea,
I mean, some of them,
this season, there only
six White English players
in a squad of 28.
That tells you quite
a lot about that.
- I support Chelsea, George.
- No, you, you're
just saying that.
- I promise you.
Me and the family go to Stamford
Bridge for most home games.
We love it, even though
it's been a bit up and down
the last few years
Oh, come on,
George, bring it in.
- Oh.
[switches clicking]
[ominous melodic music]
[tense melodic music]
[gun clicking]
[tense melodic music]
- Alright, Thames House has no
knowledge of an NSA hit team,
they are either
rogue or black ops.
I need to know
you're getting this.
Martin.
[tense melodic music]
- Are you okay?
- Just waiting for Sofia.
- Ah, [laughing] hm.
I can see you're really excited
about that, hm? [laughing]
Oh, I am so glad that you two
guys are getting it together.
- Huh?
- You're feeling the love.
Sweet.
- Sweet.
- Ah, I'd better go and
see what's going on.
- Yeah.
- Love you.
[tense melodic music]
- Martin.
Martin!
Martin!
Martin!
Oh, Martin, Martin, I'm afraid.
I'm-I'm afraid of
being completely
overrun by foreigners,
it terrifies me, it
keeps me awake at night.
No, no, I mean, they're not
really here in their millions
eating up large
parts of the country.
I mean, they're
draining the NHS.
I fear there'll be nothing left
when I need a hospital bed.
- It's gonna be okay.
- Oh, oh!
I mean, what-what happens
if they take my apartment,
my, my money, my, my clothes?
[tense melodic music]
I mean, I have the sense,
that they'll pour through
that door at any moment.
[ominous melodic music]
[gun firing]
[loud rock music]
[gun firing]
[Beth thudding to floor]
[gun firing]
[Jee Kim thudding to floor]
[loud rock music]
[gun firing]
[gun firing]
[teacup shattering]
[gun firing]
[Alonzo thudding to floor]
[loud rock music]
Messy
[gun firing]
[Bo thudding to floor]
[guns firing]
[tense orchestral music]
[gun firing]
[Sofia thudding to floor]
[tense orchestral music]
[Buck groaning softly]
[tense orchestral music]
[gun firing]
[Josh thudding to floor]
[soft tense music]
[Connie breathing heavily]
[gentle melodic music]
- Fucking barbaric Americans.
[gun firing]
[Connie thudding to floor]
- Fucking hoity-toity English.
[melodic jazz music]
[Kumara laughing]
[gun firing]
[vinyl record scratching]
[computer beeping]
- [Newscaster] Following
embarrassing disclosures
published this morning
about the NSA's efforts
to suppress Bitcoin and
other cryptocurrencies,
there has been
widespread indignation.
By midday, thousands of
protestors had gathered outside
the security agency's
headquarters at Fort Meade,
by the evening, tens of
thousands were demonstrating
in various cities across
the United States.
[van door thudding]
[birds chirping]
[melodic jazz music]
[tense melodic music]