Deer Camp '86 (2022) Movie Script
1
(wind rustling softly)
(insects trilling)
(static crackles)
(foreboding music)
(gunshot blasts)
(birds squawking)
- [J.B.] All right, dude.
Hey, say what we're
doing this weekend
and who's cabin this is.
- So it's my buddy's cabin.
It's our, our Deer
Camp tradition.
- When I went to go get ammo,
I found this really
cool multi-tool,
compass, whistle,
and magnifying glass
so if we get lost, we can go.
(multi-tool whistles softly)
- [J.B.] He's not
gonna make it one day.
- Let's just try to
have fun, all right?
- [J.B.] Go on in, Ep.
- Buck!
- Buck?
- Buck. Get out here, man.
Time to go to Deer Camp.
- Oh my God.
- Is it Debbie?
- (laughs) No.
Hey, Buck, wake up, man.
- Aw, fuck. The fuck?
- Wake up, dude.
Hey!
- Ah!
- [J.B.] So who
the fuck are you?
- No. Who the fuck are you, bro?
- [J.B.] Oh, shit.
(insects chirping)
(woodpecker drums)
(birds squawking and singing)
(engine rumbling)
(aggressive rock music)
I see you coming,
the dead of the night
Everybody's watching,
everybody's talking
- Woo!
Can you believe it, guys?
She came outta nowhere.
Dude, we've never filled a
tag before getting to camp.
- Yeah, but it kind of
scary though, right guys?
- Not in this 3,500
pound beast, dude.
Hold on. I can't see shit.
(Ep gulping)
- Oh, hey, hey, hey,
hey. Egbert's gonna barf.
- Hey, hold that in now.
- Don't you fucking puke.
Don't you do it, hey.
- What's wrong with this guy?
- Out the window,
Ep. Out the window.
- Hey, pull over man. Pull over.
- [J.B.] Don't you puke,
dude, don't you fucking dare.
- I'm okay.
(squeegee squeaks and sloshes)
- Hey, Ep, what are you
doing with your throat there?
What is that?
- It calms down my gag reflex.
- Kind of looks like you're
making room for a dick.
(cans rattle)
- Out of the way, fuckers.
Daddy's got a piss
like an elephant.
- Oh fuck, hey, hey, hey, don't.
- Whoa, whoa. Buck, you fuck.
- [Buck] Oh yeah.
I'm watering your tires for
making me sit in the back,
- [Karlos] Well, your
fat don't fit in the cab.
- Bullshit. I got shotgun
on the rest of the way.
- [Wes] No, no, no. Egbert
gets motion sickness.
- Yeah, this pussy almost
puked in my brand-new truck.
- [Simon] Brand new, J.B.?
- This thing's got more miles
than a Mexican street walker.
Uh, no offense, Karlos.
(rowdy music)
Holy shit.
- Where you going?
- The Buck stops here.
(engine starter whirring)
- Come on, let's get to
camp before dark, Buck.
- Tough titties.
My liver's itching.
- We got booze in the
truck. You know that.
- Hey guys, come back.
The fucking doe
must have knocked
the battery cable
loose or something.
Gimme a push.
- We shouldn't be stopping here.
- You're telling me that?
(upbeat rowdy music)
- Hey Bob, can I get
you another Spikehorn?
- Thanks, but I'd rather not.
(door thuds)
- Oh yeah. Daddy is home.
You see 'em coming
at you every night
Three Spikehorns, beautiful.
- $3.75.
- Actually, I'll have
a Spikehorn Light.
- Okay.
Two Spikehorns for Karlos and I,
one Spikehorn Light and
a tampon for Egbert here.
- We actually don't
have Spike Light.
- Just the tampon then.
- All right.
They make you restless, it's
nothing you ain't seen before
- No, we got more in the back.
Yeah.
Well, hey boys.
- Hey.
- Hey.
- Welcome to Deer
Camp. What'll it be?
- Three Spikes, darling.
- Okay.
- Hey, uh, (chuckles)
something's wrong
with your friend.
- Stop staring, Wes.
You're embarrassing us in
front of the nice Indian lady.
- What's wrong with you, man?
- All right, boys. Here we go.
To honor.
Getting on her, and
staying on her. (laughs)
Oh, fuck yeah.
All right.
Now it's your first time
hunting buddy, right?
You ready to kill something?
- Mm-hmm.
- All right.
Now before you go
shittin' in the woods,
let me show you how to squat
so you don't get mud
in your ass flaps.
- Oh, I ain't
shittin' in the woods.
- The hell you talking about?
We're not going to the
fucking Trump Plaza Motel, Ep.
- Well, it's only a
week. I'll be fine.
- This sumbitch some
going to be turd tuckin'.
(Karlos and Buck laugh)
- I'm pretty sure
that shit'll kill you.
- He ain't wrong.
Another round please.
- Ah.
(cans hiss)
- Here you go.
- [Star] I didn't
catch your name.
- Oh, uh, I don't tell
strangers my name.
- I'm Wes.
- Go on, tell him your name.
His girlfriend Carly
just dumped him
and he didn't know
he could love again.
- Right. That's right.
- It's Star.
- [J.B.] Is that
your stage name?
- No, they just give
all you Native girls
funny names, don't they?
- Yes sir, just like they give
y'all hilljacks fucked up teeth.
- What the hell
did you say to me?
- Hey, take your
hands off her man.
Do we need to step outside
so I can straighten out
those teeth for you.
- Would you give me
another, sassy mouth?
- I don't think so.
(Buford spits)
(Buford slurps)
- Ahh.
- Well, that was fucking gross.
- And I thought
chivalry was dead.
- Perfect. Thanks.
- So how long are you
gonna be in town for?
- You tell me.
(Star and Wes laugh)
(billiard balls clack)
You take your pension in
loneliness and alcohol
- I'm gonna sell this guy, guys.
- So.
- Hey.
- You guys have a
pretty bad leaf drop
up here over here, eh?
- Mm-hmm.
- Well, my company, The Rhino,
has some pretty
amazing gutter guards.
- Think about it.
- All right.
- Those cigarettes?
- Yep.
- Can I, uh, can I get one?
Oh man. Thank you
(rowdy music)
- Shots, dude.
- I'm not doing anymore shots.
- You need it. Two
more shots, man.
- [Star] Listen!
(whistles sharply)
- Oh, ho, ho, ho.
- All right, you assholes.
Let's get those drinks in
the air and make a toast.
- Marry me.
- Not in your wettest
dreams, Robbie.
(patrons laugh)
Now I know some of you think
this was once our
land, but you're wrong.
It's still our land.
So when you enter
the forest up here,
we have a couple
of rules for you.
First, respect the great spirit
and harvest only what you need.
Second, honor the deer.
Make it a merciful kill.
And third, tip your bartenders,
you cheap mother fuckers.
(patrons laugh)
- You know she's talking
to your fucking ass.
- To the hunt!
(patrons cheer)
(gentle music)
- Hey, Star.
- Yes, Wesley?
It is Wesley, isn't it?
- I actually haven't been called
that since the third grade.
- Oh.
- Um,
there's this guy from work,
he's letting us use his
cabin for the weekend
and he gave us this map,
but it's a little bit-
- It's really shitty.
(Star chuckles)
- Yeah.
- Oh, well that's an old
logging road off of 28.
You guys got four-wheel
drive, right?
- Fuck yeah, I do.
- All right.
Uh, well, follow the
old logging road a ways
and then here you'll see
a huge tamarack tree,
you're gonna turn right.
And then in about a mile or so,
you should see the
cabin on the left.
And if you hit Lake Manitou,
you've gone too far.
- That's a cool necklace.
- Oh it was my grandmother's.
- Are those shells?
- Deer toes.
- Gnarly.
- [Buford] What the fuck are
you dick sticks looking at?
- Oh, a bar fight. How original.
(showdown music)
- What's going on here?
- Why don't you ask the cast
of "Deliverance" over here?
- Well, the way we see it,
we got a darky, a wetback,
and four fudge packers.
- What the hell
did you just say?
- I ain't no fudge packer.
- Yeah, this here's Karlos.
- With a K.
- Used to be with a C,
but after he registered
25 Ks in Lebanon,
he changed it legally.
Ain't that right, Karlos?
- Always been with a K.
- Dude.
- Aren't we over this racist
bullshit by now, guys?
It's 1986.
- We just don't like your type
coming up here breathing on us.
- What the fuck you doing
with that confederate
flag shirt on, boy?
- You wanna make
something of it, boy?
- You keep talking like that,
and I'm gonna be your
back-door stranger.
- Come on guys. This is
the Peace Pipe, right?
And no one wants to end
up in the county jail-
(fist thuds)
(Karlos grunts)
(rowdy music)
- Marshmallow-ass mother fucker.
- Ah! Fuck!
- Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
- Hit him in the fucking face.
- You fuck.
(fist thuds)
- [Patrons] Fight,
fight, fight, fight!
- Get off him.
- Dude.
- Just remember, when you
pull the trigger this season,
it could have been worse.
(bone cracks)
- (screams) Crazy fuck!
(rowdy music darkens)
- Stop right there, numb nuts.
The fun's over.
(Buford laughs)
- I thought your type
only used bow and arrow.
- Oh, I'm pretty
good with my bow.
But that's a really
small target.
- Let's get the hell
outta here, Buford.
- Of course your name is Buford.
I bet all you fuckers
are named Buford.
- This ain't over. Bitch.
- Let's go man, come on.
- Yes, Buford. It is.
All right.
Who's buying me a drink?
(hunters clamors)
Oh. Perfect.
(faint rowdy music)
(train horn blares distantly)
(steam hisses)
(crossing gate clangs)
(train horn blares)
(train clatters and clangs)
(door knocks)
- Hello?
Number one or number two?
Okay.
(train clatters and clangs)
- [Attacker] Make a sound
and I'll cut your throat.
(Star inhales
sharply and groans)
Get off me!
(Star grunts)
(necklace clatters)
(Star grunts faintly)
(zipper zips)
- [Attacker] Stop it.
Stop it. I don't wanna
have to kill you.
(Star and attacker grunting)
- [Star] Get off me!
Get off me! (whimpers)
(shrieks) Get off me!
(dark music)
(knife thuds)
(brooding music)
(earth rumbles)
(necklace rattles)
(languid music)
- Yo, Wes. Check out
my moonwalk, man.
- Geez. Hey, have you seen Star?
- You got it bad, dude.
- All right. Time to go boys.
- I can't leave yet, guys.
- Bullshit.
We gotta leave while someone
can still keep us
between the ditches.
- Hey! Found him on the shitter.
- You wipe for him?
- Guys, I gotta say goodbye
to Star before we leave, okay?
- Dude, I promise you
we'll come back, man.
Let's hit the fucking road.
For a lesson learned
But none of that's
a great concern
- I left a note here for Star.
- I'll add it to the others.
Home got my
- [Buck] 48 beers in 24 hours.
That's my record and
I intend to crush it.
- 48?
- Holy shit, J.B.
Them cornholin' sons of bitches
done fucked up your truck, man.
- Those assholes.
- Uh-oh. Looks like
J.B.'s too drunk to drive.
I guess one of us is gonna
have to, okay, I'll do it.
(engine starter whirs)
(engine roars)
The beast lives.
All right, which direction
are we going boys?
- North on 37.
And then we're gonna-
- All right, fuck
it. We'll wing it.
(rowdy music)
(tires screech)
I remember my first time, Ep.
- Do I want to hear this?
- Bob set me up on a narrow draw
between two winter wheat fields.
And right at dawn,
I see a huge rack.
- Must've been your mama
bringing your ass a sandwich.
- Hey, you leave Lorraine's
tits out of this.
- Uh, left, right here.
- Where?
- [Wes] Right here,
uh, left right here.
- Which fucking way, man?
- Right here. Right here.
- 'Kay. Jesus.
(toy beeps)
Anyway, huge rack.
Not my mama's tits,
but an eight-point.
Man, my hands were
shaking so bad,
but I remember what Dad told me,
he said, "Buck, but you
worthless piece of shit.
Just take a slow, steady breath
and you let out half of it
right before you go
squeezin' the trigger."
I aced that bitch and we
ate his heart for lunch.
- Wait, the heart?
- Mm-hmm.
I'm gonna show you how to
cook up by heart, buddy.
- I ain't eating any heart.
- It's ritual.
First buck we kill,
we cook up the heart.
You don't have a choice.
- Oh man, it'll put
hair on your nuts too.
- I don't need any more of that.
- Hey, right here. Right here.
(can clatters)
(toy chimes)
- Can you turn that
fucking thing off, please?
- What do you care?
- 'Cause it's pissin'
me off. That's why.
(engine rumbles)
Are you guys sure we're
going the right way?
- Oh yeah. This is the place.
- Bad ass.
(brakes squeal)
(ominous music)
Ain't this place
the shit, Karlos?
- Good place for killing.
- You got a horseshoe in?
Fuck yeah. Shit.
Is it weird that
made my nipples hard?
(door clatters and creaks)
(laughs) Look at this place.
- [Wes] Oh wow.
And they left us
a welcoming gift.
- And some reading material.
Lacey Waxwing.
- Oh yeah. '79 catalog.
She likes long
walks on the beach.
Is that...?
- Bear trap.
- For what?
- Some bears,
fuckwad. (chuckles)
(rowdy music)
- Maybe I should have
fought harder for her.
- Maybe we should throw that
thing in the fucking fire.
- [Ep] This cabin needs gutters.
- Bros before hoes, dude.
Shotgun man.
- All right. All right.
- All right, Buck, go.
Here we are, the
greatest hunters
in the state of
fucking Michigan.
Pulled one deer tag
before we even got out
of the fuckin' truck.
(laughs) Beat that, bitch.
Hey, smell that?
Hey Karlos, Karlos, Karlos,
say something to
the world, buddy.
Come on, man. Fucking
introduce yourself.
(Karlos spits)
Sorry. He's a little shy.
He's new to the group,
but the rest of us, we've
all known each other
since before we sprouted pubes.
But he's a great electrician,
but he's a mean-ass drunk.
A little dip for the little dip?
There you go. Oh,
there you go, buddy.
Right in the lip.
- Like that?
- Great. Yeah.
There you go, buddy.
(Ep gags)
- There you go. You
can feel it, right?
- Oh, he's gaggin'.
- Hmm?
(Ep retches)
- Look out. Look out.
- Oh!
(phone ringing)
(brooding music)
- Paulson.
- [Williams] Sheriff,
Deputy Williams here.
I'm over at Murphy's Peace Pipe
and, uh, one of the bartenders
was found out back this morning.
Murdered. I got her right here.
It's Star.
It's Star, uh-
- I got you.
I know her mother.
Son of a bitch.
What was the cause of death?
- [Williams] Not sure yet.
She was strangled and stabbed.
- Was she, um,
was she raped?
- No.
Looks like she fought back.
- Well, that would've
pissed him off.
Who's on scene?
- [Williams] Right now, the
coroner and Detective Anderson.
- Let them finish up there
and find out who was
at that bar last night.
And then get back here
as soon as you can.
- [Williams] Yes, sir.
(dark brooding music)
- Sheriff.
- I just got off the
phone with Star's mother.
You know what she told me?
"I knew this would
happen one day."
- Why the hell would she
say something like that?
- Long before you
put on a badge,
this girl, Melissa Fox,
was found murdered.
A couple days later,
group of hunters were
found disemboweled.
This one, we had to identify
by his dental records.
A couple summers later,
another girl was found dead.
We found some
backpackers mutilated.
Dive team had to
pull a couple bodies
outta the bottom
of Lake Manitou.
- Ever catch the guy?
- There's a pattern here.
Every time a girl like
Star is found dead,
more bodies follow.
- You know, Sheriff, Buford
Johnson and his goons
were at the Peace
Pipe last night.
We know what kind of guy he is
and we know what
they're capable of.
And these notes
were left for Star.
A few of the names
I don't recognize.
- I'm gonna need
you to stay here.
Round up the usual suspects.
- Yes, sir.
- I'm gonna start with Buford,
see what he has to say.
Then I'm gonna go to the woods.
- Why?
- Try and prevent
another bear attack.
(coyotes howling)
(insects trilling)
(earth rumbling)
(bottle rattles)
(beer splashes)
(wind howls eerily)
(crows cawing)
(hunters snoring)
(pan sizzles)
(percolator putters)
- [Buck] Good morning, sunshine.
- How do you drink and
chew at the same time?
- The hell are
you talking about?
This is the breakfast
of champions.
- I mean, doesn't it get
all mixed up together?
- Yeah, sure.
But so do your green beans
and your mashed potatoes.
It's all going to the
same place, right?
(Buck's stomach gurgles)
Oh, speaking of which, I think
I gotta pump a dump. Yep.
(farts) Ooh!
(ominous music)
- [J.B.] All right
boys, call 'em out.
- Bolt action .30-06
- Model 94 AE.
- Model 1894.
Thanks Grandpa Herm.
- .30-30 lever
action. Hot loads.
- Don't point that
fucking thing at me, man.
.270, nine-power scope
- .410 pump.
- A .410?
- That's a child's weapon.
- This is birdshot.
- They're bullets.
What's the difference?
- [Buck] Good Lord, Egbert.
- Hey, keep on pumping that
thing. Let's see what happens.
- [Wes] Maybe let's
just keep it down here
until we get outside, huh?
- Okay.
- [Buck] All right. You're
hunting with me today, Ep.
Come on.
- Wait, is that...?
- The shitter? Oh yeah.
I already cooked up a meatloaf
in there this morning.
Now, from here on out.
No more talking, okay?
Hand signals only.
- Got it.
- The fuck did I just say, man?
(toilet gurgles menacingly)
(water splashes)
- Dude, we should go back
to the Peace Pipe tonight.
- Fuck that, man.
We've been trying to get
you out here in the woods
for the past two years.
- Yeah, but I
think she liked me.
- (laughs) She flirts for tips.
- Maybe you're jealous.
(ominous music)
(crow trills)
- Man, Buck's a crazy dude, man.
How long you guys
been working together?
One time in high school,
man, it was so crazy-
- Look, look. I hunt alone.
- Um, okay.
Well good luck.
You know deer can smell
a asshole a mile away.
Prick.
(water sloshing gently)
- Egbert, get your
little ass over here.
- No.
- I don't want this beer,
but after last night,
(inhales) I need this beer.
Ah.
(can cracks)
Cheers.
(dark music)
(birds squawking)
- Get over here.
Come on.
Come here. Come here.
(dramatic music)
(wind rustling eerily)
(wood creaking)
(woodpecker hammering)
(leaves rustle)
(hammer clicks)
(car horn blares)
- Did that come from camp?
- Someone's in trouble.
- What the hell?
(water splashing)
- [Buck] Come on, bitch. Get up.
- What the shit?
Who fucking...
(brooding music)
- This every one in your party?
- What son of a bitch just
got himself fucking killed?
- Karlos, you might
wanna lower your, uh...
- Karlos, is it?
- You scared off lunch.
- What could we do
for you, officer?
- It's sheriff. Sheriff Paulson.
You boys were at the Peace
Pipe last night, weren't you?
- [Wes] Yeah, we were there.
- Just long enough
for some racist fucktards
to pick a fight with us.
- Yeah and put a tire
iron through my window.
- The bartender was found
murdered this morning.
Her name was Star.
Star Agache.
(Karlos exhales)
- Fuck.
- Sorry, Wes.
- Wes?
Wesley. This is you?
You wrote this?
- Yeah. That's me.
- You wrote that you were
gonna go back for her.
- I was. I, I was
planning on it.
- So did you, did
you go back for her?
- Nobody left here last night.
- Your sounding rather
accusatory there, sheriff.
- Yeah, we didn't come up here
to get in any
trouble, your Honor.
- Not living up here, you
boys wouldn't know it,
but too many of our
girls go missing.
Outsiders come up here and
take more than venison.
- Well, what about those
assholes at the bar?
- Yeah. I mean,
she kicked them out
with a shotgun pointed
at their asses.
- Pissed 'em off real good.
- Yeah, I'm not telling
you how to do your job,
but maybe look up
those backwoods,
cousin-fucking pieces of shit and
see if they know anything.
- I already did.
And they had the same
sentiments about you.
- I ain't no cousin fucker.
- Her mother named her Star
because of what she
saw in her eyes.
(tense music)
There's no hiding from the
sins committed on these lands.
(engine starter whirs)
(engine rumbles)
- I can't believe this.
What kind of coward
could do this?
- [Karlos] I've seen
worse in Lebanon.
- This isn't fucking
Lebanon, Karlos.
- Hey, push me again.
Come on. See what happens.
- Guys, guys, guys, guys.
Calm, calm, calm, calm. Right?
- Your work friends
a real asshole, Buck.
- Yeah, he knows. Drink this.
- I don't want a
drink right now, man.
- Look buddy. I
liked her too, okay?
She had spunk, she was
smoking hot, cute little mole,
but you have a choice to make.
You can either let
this drag us down
or we can acknowledge
this girl's life
right here, right now.
There you go.
- Whoa. What is that?
- I don't know. Uncle made it.
Kicks though, don't it?
- It just burns.
- Like a fucking herpes flare.
(leaves rustle)
- Buck, you fucking asshole.
(Ep breathing heavily)
Did I miss something?
- Ep, perfect timing.
We're gonna need that pop gun.
- It's a .410, Buck.
(cans rattle)
- [Buck] You're up first, J.B.
- She was more than beautiful.
She was fucking spirited.
- Who?
- The bartender was found
murdered this morning.
- Pull.
(gunshot blasts)
- Nice shot.
She saved my ass from
that hilljack too.
Pull!
(gunshot blasts)
- Son of a bitch, man, you
almost shot my fucking hand off.
- He's panicking 'cause
it's his jerking-off hand.
- Hey, fuck you.
I'm ambidextrous and you know
I get way more ass than you.
- Oh yeah?
Come over here and sniff my dick
so you can remember
what pussy smells like.
(Buck laughs incredulously)
- Oh, I already know what your
sister's pussy smells like.
- You fucking prick.
- What was her name again?
I know she knows mine
'cause she screamed it a
thousand fuckin' times.
- Fucking relax, Buck.
- Seriously, Buck?
You're such a fucking asshole.
- (laughs) Never gets old man.
- Seriously. Fuck you, asshole.
- All right, Wes,
let's see what you got.
- She, she was more than funny
and, and spirited and all that.
You know, she, um, she...
Just toss it, Marino.
(ominous music)
- What the fuck, man?
That was a perfect throw.
What are you doing?
- There's something
in the woods.
- [Ep] I don't see anything.
- You couldn't see
a pair a titties
if they slapped you in the face.
- What'd you see, Wes?
One of those
confederate fuckers?
- No, I don't think so.
- [Ep] Maybe it was a bear.
- [Wes] No. Guys, I'm serious.
(crows cawing)
(gunshot blasts)
(Buck laughs)
- What the hell, Buck?
- Warn us before you blast
off in our ear, Dude.
- A crow? Why the hell
would you shoot that?
- I was warming up
my trigger finger.
- You gonna eat it?
- Fuck no. Who eats crow, man?
- At least bury it
or something, man.
- I'm gonna waste my time
burying a fucking crow?
(brooding music)
- We should head out soon.
We're losing daylight.
(engine rumbles)
(ominous music)
(earth rumbles)
(crows cawing)
(eerie music)
(insects chirping)
- Hey, enjoy the only
reach-around you're
ever gonna get.
While we're at it,
there's a lot of log,
so scoot the fuck over.
- Sorry.
- So you think Wes saw a bear?
- [Buck] Probably.
As long as you're faster
than the slowest guy,
it shouldn't be a problem.
Although you got a
lot of extra weight
in your colon
slowing you down, so.
- No, no, I'm fine.
- [Buck] I swear to
God, if you fart,
I'm gonna stab you
with an antler.
(Buck spits)
(Ep glugs)
(wind whistling)
(trees creaking)
(leaves rustle)
(deer huffs)
(Wes whistles)
(hoof steps rustle)
(birds chirping)
(gunshot blasts distantly)
(tense music)
(Karlos roars)
- [Karlos] Fucker!
- What the hell?
(Karlos roars)
- Karlos?
Karlos! Karlos!
- [Karlos] (grunts) Fuck!
- Karlos!
(Karlos grunting)
Karlos!
(heart squelching)
- I dropped her on the spot.
- You sick, sick fuck.
(Karlos laughs oddly)
(rowdy music)
(venison sizzles)
- All right, first
slab's Egbert's. (laughs)
Hey J.B., Come get this.
- Guys, this was
barely in the pan.
- Yeah, just long enough
to heat up the juices
and by juices, I
mean blood. (laughs)
- Nothing worse
than a dry heart.
- That's right.
(static hisses and crackles)
- J.B., you wanna
fix your radio, it's-
(static screeches)
- Oh, fuck!
- Hey, turn that thing off.
- Son of a bitch must
have sold me a lemon.
(rowdy music continues)
What the hell?
Piece of shit, fucking 'Burban.
- Surprised you get a
signal out here anyway, man.
- All right, it's gettin'
cold now. Come on.
- Come on, man. It doesn't
taste like anything.
- Yeah, it's like pate.
- Pat what?
- It's like duck liver,
fucker. Just eat it.
Here, wash it down with this.
(Ep gags)
Uh-oh. (laughs)
(Ep retches)
- [Hunters] Oh!
- Gross, dude.
- It's pathetic, man.
- Where's the water?
- There's no water at
camp, Ep. Beer only
- No, no, no. Fuck
you, crazy man.
- Take it.
- I'm not eating that.
- Didn't know we had two
pansy asses here at camp.
- It's a doe, Karlos.
- Your point?
- We don't have a doe tag.
- We always eat the
first heart, Wes.
- Of the first buck, Buck.
- Yeah, whatever. Okay?
To the first kill of '86.
- Fuck yeah.
Right here baby.
- Cheers, gentlemen.
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
(dark music)
- What wrong with it?
- Maggots.
(J.B. gags)
(Buck retches)
- What the fuck is that?
- [Ep] Guys? Come in here now.
- What does he want now?
The fuck is it now, Egbert?
- The bear trap's gone.
Why would they
take the bear trap?
- Those things are worth
like 200 bucks, man.
- Those assholes
know we're here.
- Gah. Guys, they're just
trying to scare us, okay?
They're fucking with us, right?
We're here to have fun.
This is Deer Camp, right?
Beer, beer, beer, beer, beer.
Let's go, out the door. Come on.
- You guys can do what you
want. But I'm going to bed.
- Same here, Buck.
- That's fuckin' bullshit.
What? A little worm infestation
draw your pussies out?
- Yes.
- Drink this. Here.
The party's just getting start-
(Buck snoring)
- Buck, shut the fuck up
or I'm teabagging you.
(Buck groans)
(brooding music)
(wolves howl)
(loon wails)
(wind growls eerily)
(floorboards creak)
(toy beeps)
- Simon, turn that
thing off, man.
(toy beeps)
Seriously, dude.
(toy beeping)
(fire crackles)
(toy beeping)
(stuffed bird creaks)
(toy beeping)
(stairs creak)
(wood clatters)
(dramatic music)
(door slams)
(wind blows eerily)
(fire roars)
- It's inside me! (shrieks)
It got inside me!
It's fucking inside me!
Ah! Ah!
- W- what the fuck?
What is it, what is it, man?
- What is happening?
Egbert, what is inside you?
- What's going on?
- Someone gag the bitch.
- It was crawling on my leg.
It embedded.
- Well, what the hell is it?
- I don't know.
(dark music)
- All right, let's see it.
- I think it was a dream.
- Strip.
- Guys, seriously, I
think it was just a dream.
- Hey, Buck, what the
hell's in that shit, man?
- I don't know, but
I feel bulletproof.
Strip.
- [All] Oh!
- Shit!
- Looks like your nuts
are wearing a pelt.
- Woo. I think we
just found Bigfoot.
- Holy shit. Hey, you're gonna
have to hold up that shaft.
- What?
- He needs to examine
your cock bag.
'Cause if it is
what we think it is,
you're gonna want Karlos to
get it out real pronto like.
- It looks like hairy bat wings.
- Oh God.
- Take a look.
- Yep. Oh, that thing's
buried in your coin purse
like it's treasure hunting.
Mm-mm.
- What is it?
- It's a fucking deer tick.
- Well get it out.
- I'm gonna need some light.
- I'll start the generator.
- All right, what's
the plan, Karlos?
- Well, when the little
baby stops squirming,
I can get the head out.
- You hear that,
Ep? Don't squirm.
(generator rumbles)
(lights buzz)
(tense music)
- (moans) It hurts.
- I haven't touched you yet.
(tick squelching and chirping)
- Eg, hold still
or the head will
break off inside you.
- Aren't these things
filled with disease?
- Yeah. Whine disease.
- Huh?
- You're fucking
whining. Shut up.
(dramatic music)
- [All] Oh!
(knife thuds)
(tick squeals)
- Congratulations.
- Oh shit.
- You survived.
- Am I bleeding?
- All right. Who needs a drink?
(generator sputters)
What the fuck did you do, J.B.?
- What do you mean?
- What's up with the generator?
- I don't fucking know.
You and Karlos are the
electricians, dude.
- It's not an electrical
motor dipshit.
Is there fuel in it?
(thunder rumbles)
(generator sputters)
- Son of a bitch.
- J.B.!
- Gimme a second.
- Dude.
(thunder booms)
(creature roars distantly)
- Who the fuck took my kill?
- Maybe it was those
assholes from the bar.
(Karlos growls)
- We're going huntin'.
- Wait a second. Guys?
- [Buck] Get your pants on, Ep.
- They were probably
just fucking with us.
I mean, we're not
killing anybody, right?
- [Karlos] You might not be.
- Hell of a thing,
Deer Camp, isn't it?
(thunder rumbles)
(rain pattering)
(mud splashes)
(thunder crashes)
- When we find these
fuckers, I get first shot.
- Shoot to scare, please.
- [Karlos] Marines
shoot to kill.
- Buck, why'd you
invite this guy?
- He's on work release.
I thought it'd be good for him.
- [Karlos] Yeah, I
can hear you fuckers.
- Hey, everybody,
relax. All right?
We're not killing
anyone. Right, Karlos?
- Hey.
(thunder crashes)
- What is it?
- I don't know but it's
hunched over my deer.
- Whoa, whoa. What
are you doing?
- What the fuck's it
look like, shit stain?
I'm gonna shoot it.
Get your hand off my barrel.
- You don't even
know what it is.
- It could be a bear, but they
should be hibernating, right?
(ominous music)
- [Wes] It does sort
of look like a bear.
- [Simon] Can't shoot a bear.
- [Karlos] Bull
fucking shit I can't.
- [Simon] It's out
of season, asshole.
- It stole my kill.
- Good. Let it.
Now let's get the
hell out of here.
(creature growls)
(wind rustles eerily)
- Nope.
- Shit.
- Go, go, go.
- I see you fucker!
- Let's go, you fucking
lunatic. Come on.
(creature howls)
(thunder rumbles)
- Hey! Why'd you run?
I had the shot.
I could have ended this war.
- What fucking war, Karlos?
We're in Northern Michigan.
- All right, everyone, uncinch
your girdles. Take a breath.
You, drink this and
calm the fuck down, huh?
- I don't want a beer,
Buck. It's not even 9:00 AM.
- Exactly. We shoulda
had the first one at six.
All right. Who saw what it was?
Huh?
Personally, I, I think
it was like a possum.
- A fucking possum, dude?
- You're fucking kidding me,
man?
- A possum?!
- It had a white face. What
out here has a white face?
- Those hilljacks,
they're pretty white.
- I don't think it
was a hilljack, Simon.
- Well, maybe it was a wolf.
- Wait, wolves? There
are wolves out here?
- Wolves don't make
rattling sounds, all right?
This is something else.
- Hey, dudes.
(thunder rumbles)
I got it on tape.
- [Wes] Let's see it.
(cassette clicks and whirs)
- Take a look.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You suck at filming.
You got fucking
Parkinson's or something?
- Fucking film it
then next time.
How about that?
- Fuck you, man.
Fuck you, man.
- Let me see it.
- Fucking bitch!
- Come on, man.
Come on. Stop, man.
- Call me a bitch again.
(tense music)
(dramatic music)
- Simon?
Here. Lemme see it.
(cassette whirs and clicks)
Oh shit.
- Let's go.
- What the fuck
you talking about?
- We're not staying out here.
Not with whatever
the hell that is.
- No one's fucking
going anywhere.
- Who's driving me?
- And no one's fucking driving
your ass nowhere neither.
- Simon, where you going?
- I'm going back to
Detroit where it's safe.
- Simon!
- Candy ass!
- [Simon] Go to hell, Karlos.
- Oh, I've been there already.
It's called Beirut.
- Hey, Simon. What
the hell, man?
- You saw that thing?
- Yeah, it was probably
one of those rednecks
playing dress up or something.
- I'm not sticking
around to find out, Wes.
- We got six guns and a
crate of ammo, man. Come on.
- Yeah, you'll need all of it.
- You're gonna get
lost. You dick.
- Me lost?
- Yeah.
- You know, Wes, you
hadn't been hunting
with us for two years
because you were fuckin' lost.
And the sad thing is, if you
stay here, you're fuckin' dead.
So let's go, man. Let's go.
- I can't, Simon.
Whoever's out there
fucking with us
is probably the same crazed
asshole that killed her.
- Wes, I'm not sure
that thing was a man.
- I can't leave here
until I find out.
- Good luck, Rambo.
- What is it you think?
- Whatever it is,
it's gonna be hanging
from the buck pole
before dinner.
- Fuck yeah.
- That's right, buddy.
- He left.
You guys, I, I can't
let him walk out alone.
- He's a deserter.
- You stop with that
bullshit war talk, man.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
You don't know what it's
like to have served, okay?
- Oh, but you do.
Buck, you spent two weeks in
the Marines and then quit.
- I was honorably discharged
after they found a heart murmur.
And you know that you
son of a rotten bitch.
- Guys. Come on.
- J.B., can I get
the truck keys?
- J.B.
- I'm gonna drive Simon
out and I'll be right back.
- You hand him those keys,
J.B., I'll stab your knee.
- He's not gonna stab your knee.
- Oh no. He, he will.
He will.
- Probably won't start anyway.
- Why do you care
so much, Karlos?
- Because Wesley,
I paid the price for cowards.
- [Ep] What happened?
- Hummus eater cut me
collar to collar,
left me to die.
Did I deserve that
because I stayed and
fought while others ran?
I served this country
to protect your
American right to hunt.
(determined music)
- I say we exercise that right.
- You see, now it feels
like a hunting trip.
- Fuck yeah.
(arrow thuds)
- Holy shit!
- Take cover!
- Let's go.
We gotta get inside.
- Wait, man!
- Come on!
- Come on, come on.
- Shit!
- They actually shot him
with a fucking arrow.
Someone lock the door!
- We gotta get
you to a hospital.
- Bullshit! Push it through.
- What!?
- Push it through?
- If we pull it out,
the broadhead will
tear everything up.
We gotta push it through.
All the way through.
(Karlos groans)
- [All] Oh!
- Geez.
- Well?
- All right. I'll do it.
I'll do it. I'll do it.
Okay. You ready, bud?
- Yeah. Ow.
- Sorry, sorry.
- Okay. Okay.
Oh! Fuck.
(Ep gags)
No, I don't think
I can do it, man.
- Come on, man. Liquid
balls, let's go.
- Fuck. All right.
Ah! Ready!
- Oh, shit.
- Come on.
- Okay. Here we go, here we go.
(Karlos groans)
- Oh, I can see the tip!
Almost!
- Holy shit, man.
(arrow cracks)
Fuck. Oh fuck, oh fuck.
What the hell is that?
- That's no broadhead.
Is that stone?
(Karlos grunts)
(roof thuds)
(tense music)
- It's outside.
- Grab the guns.
(leaves rustle)
Stay on my six.
- Let's squash
this fucking turd.
- Ep, grab the fucking ammo.
- Why me?
- 'Cause you're the bitch.
(thrilling music)
- Shoo, you're
fast for a fat man.
- Wrong. I'm fat for a fast man.
- I got the ammo.
- Oh, good do you want me
to lick your crinkle
star or something?
Fuck no, pack rat.
- I brought it out for you guys.
- Good. And you can
carry it for us too.
You see anything, man?
- No.
- You fucking carry it.
- Oh, look. A fucking
tough guy, huh?
- Ow! You fucking twerp.
- Hey, Egbert, stop
embarrassing yourself.
- Hey, Egbert, calm
down, man. Come on.
- Yeah, it's easy
for you to say, Wes,
you haven't been treated like
a piece of shit all week.
(Karlos and Buck chuckle)
That's funny, huh?
You know what, you bastards?
You two can go fuck each other.
- Look at that.
You finally got some
nuts in that hairy sack.
- Okay, I'm sorry guys.
I just, uh-
- No, don't ever apologize, Ep.
- That's right.
You shove our shit
right back into us
when we give it to you, buddy.
- I guess, I guess you
guys just pushed me
a little too hard.
I gotta tell you guys something.
That night at the
bar, I went out to-
(rope whooshes)
(dramatic music)
- Egbert?
- Guys.
(Ep shrieks)
- Egbert!
Ep!
- Oh my God!
- Ep!
- Ep! Ep!
Where'd he go?
- What the hell?
- Ep!
- Ep!
- We're coming, buddy.
(dramatic music)
- Ep, where are you?
- Fuck.
- Is he okay?
- [Buck] He's fine as
peach fucking cobbler.
- Ep!
- Ep!
Where is he?
- Ep!
- Egbert!
- Ep!
- Ep!
- Shit.
- Egbert!
(bird trills)
- Guys.
(dark music)
- Egbert!
- [Buck] Ep, buddy.
- Hey, Egbert.
- Ep, buddy.
- [Buck] Ep?
- Holy shit.
(guts squelch)
- Egbert. Oh God.
(bones rattle softly)
- What the fuck is this thing?
(Ep grunts)
(dramatic music)
(all shout)
- Jesus!
- Ep, buddy?
- What the fuck?
(Ep's stomach rumbles)
- Fuck.
(Ep farts)
I guess he finally
took that shit.
(creature growls)
(gunshots blast)
(creature howls eerily)
Where the fuck is it?
(gunshots blasting)
- I'm out!
- Let's get the hell outta here.
- [J.B.] Fucking run!
- Ah!
(tense music)
- You got the keys?
- I got the fucking keys.
- It better start.
- It'll fucking start.
- It better fucking start.
- It'll fucking start, fat ass.
(engine rumbles)
- Oh, god.
(engine roars)
(headlight shatters)
- What the hell?
- What the fuck?
- Who the fuck's in there?
(Suburban groans and creaks)
- Oh shit.
- Oh!
- Oh shit!
Oh shit!
(explosion booms)
(fire crackling)
(desperate music)
- The fuck?
(creature growls)
(bones rattle)
- Oh shit. Oh fuck.
(rifle clicks)
- We need ammo.
- No fucking shit, man.
(tomahawk thuds)
(bones rattle)
- Oh!
- Holy fuck!
- Shit!
(creature growls)
- Where is it?
- It's gone.
- Yeah and so is its tomahawk.
- Don't be telling me this
thing's a fucking Indian?
- I ain't saying shit, okay?
- Where's the rest of the ammo?
- In the corner.
- Oh fuck!
- What's it want from us?
- Shit!
Egbert must have grabbed it
all, which means we're fucked.
- Here. Here.
There's a dozen in there.
Get away from the door.
- I'm just trying to look, man.
That thing flipped the 'Burban
like it was a Matchbox car.
That door is made a pine lumber.
- Shit.
- Fuck.
- What the fuck was that thing?
- I don't know.
But we're no longer the hunters.
- You mean it's
fucking coming back?
- Oh yeah.
- [J.B.] How can you be so sure?
- Because we're still breathing.
- What's the plan, guys?
- This may surprise you,
but I say we run for it.
- No, no. We'll end up like Ep.
- No. Only the
slowest one of us.
- Come on, Buck.
Hey, it's survival of
the fittest, fucker.
- I have an idea.
In Lebanon-
- Here we go again.
- We took cover in
a metal warehouse
where the rebels set
up a booby trap for us.
- Okay.
- Wired electricity to it.
One poor bastard, a
private from West Virginia,
he leaned up next to the
exterior wall and it, uh,
and it, uh-
- And it what?
- And it sealed him to it.
- The fuck? What the fuck?
- Charred him like
a slab of bacon.
That fucker set up
a trap for Egbert.
I say we return the favor.
- Fuck yeah.
- We're not the
Ghostbusters, Karlos.
- You have a better solution?
(dark determined music)
(fabric rips)
(wire rattles)
(hammer thuds)
- Hey, Buck, Someone's
gotta rig that generator.
- Generator's outside.
- Yeah, no shit.
- Well, you fucking do it, man.
- Well, you always bragging
about how you the fastest.
- Fuck.
- Nah.
I need you thinking clear.
- If I'm thinking clear, I'm
not going out there. Huh?
(dark determined
music continues)
(door thuds)
(fire crackling)
(insects chirping)
(beer splashing)
All right, so you're telling me
I wait for it to touch
the cage and I pull this.
- And then it will fry its ass.
- It's not cutting
it a little close?
- What do you guys
think this thing is?
- You've asked that already.
- No one's given me an answer,
so I'm gonna keep on asking.
- It's a fucking forest demon.
- I mean, where
did it come from?
- What if it doesn't
come back? Huh?
What if it waits us out?
Wait's for us to go outside.
We only got 12 beers left.
- Is that all you
fucking think about?
- No, I think about your sister
and her saucy bottom bits too.
- One more word about my sister
and I'll cut your fucking
AIDS-riddled dick off.
- (snaps) What was
her name again?
- You're such an asshole.
- Can you guys please shut up?
(can clatters)
- 11.
- Buck, J.B.,
I've been an awful friend
of you guys and I'm sorry.
These last few
years I've just been
so focused on
keeping Carly happy-
- Oh shit.
- What?
- This is the part
where we all say something
meaningful before we die?
'Cause if I'm being honest,
I don't give a fuck.
I, I don't want to hear it.
And it would please me greatly
if you would shut the fuck up.
(toy chimes)
Oh, good. Simon
forgot his Simon.
- It's broken.
- No.
(dark music)
It's here.
(toy beeps)
(static crackles indistinctly)
- The fuck?
That things not
broken. It's possessed.
(static voice
crackles indistinctly)
What's it saying?
(toy speaks demonically)
(roof thuds)
It's on the roof.
- Oh, oh, oh fuck.
- Fuck.
- Oh shit.
It's playing with us with.
(creature growls)
We're it's prey.
You gotta be patient.
He's trying to lure us outside.
It's just like back in
fucking Lebanon- (grunts)
- K- Karlos?
- Oh fuck!
- Oh fuck.
Oh shit.
(gunshot blasts)
(Karlos' head squelches)
- Fuck.
(eerie music)
- Guys, on the tomahawk,
it's Star's necklace.
(creature roars)
Oh, Jesus.
- Holy shit!
- Pull the rope, Buck!
Fucking pull it!
- I'm trying!
- Come on, Buck.
- Start, you son of a bitch!
(generator rumbles)
(electricity crackles)
Guys!
Oh fuck, oh fuck.
(all breathing heavily)
You guys see it?
- Did it work?
- Now for my original plan.
(thrilling music)
Fuck.
(ethereal ominous music)
(creature crackles)
(heart squelches)
(creature snarls)
- Ow!
- Shit.
Get off your ass, man.
(creature roars)
- Shit.
Where is that
fucking coming from?
- Guys?
- It's fucking with us.
Shit.
- Hey, come on. Come on.
- Holy, guys.
Hey Buck!
- We're almost to the lake.
- Buck, it's Leslie.
- What!?
- My sister's name.
- No, fucking shit man.
(Buck grunts)
- That's for Leslie.
- J.B., you traitorous fuck!
(Buck shrieks)
(creature growls)
- Oh shit!
What the fuck, the fuck is that?
(crows cawing)
(gunshot blasts)
(Buck grunts)
(bones rattle)
Ow. Fuck me.
(dark music)
(earth rumbles)
(tense music)
- Wes?
- Where's Buck?
- He wasn't fast enough.
- That thing killed Star.
- What?
- H- her necklace was
around the tomahawk.
- Wes, what the are
you talking about, man?
- Hey, listen to me.
We're gonna take that boat,
we're gonna paddle across the lake
and there's a road on the other side
that goes back into town.
- No. I don't wanna die, dude.
- Hey! Hey!
I'm gonna get you
across the lake, okay?
(J.B. breathing shakily)
(water sloshing)
- [J.B.] Oh shit.
(both grunting and groaning)
(creature growling)
Oh shit.
Oh shit, Wes.
- Eyes forward. Keep paddling.
- Oh shit.
Oh God. It's gone.
- We're almost there.
- Faster, man. Fucking faster.
(boat thuds)
(water whooshing)
Shit.
(dark music)
(creature moans hauntingly)
Oh fuck, Wes, it's spinning us.
What the fuck?
Oh fuck. (groans)
(creature hisses)
Fuck! Shit!
Shit, shit, shit, shit.
Oh God. We're gonna die.
- Hey, hey-
- We're gonna fucking die
out here, man.
- Hey.
Hey, look at me.
What did I tell you? No
one's dying out here.
I'm not gonna let
anything happen-
(J.B. screams)
- Wes! Wes!
Fuck!
Shit, shit, shit, shit. Shit.
(J.B. breathing heavily)
(water splashing)
(footsteps thudding)
(creature snarls)
Oh shit. Shit, shit, shit,
shit, shit, shit, shit.
What the fuck do you want?!
What are you?!
Impossible.
I...
(glass shatters)
(door knocks)
- Who's in there?
J.B.? (scoffs) Shit.
(train horn blares)
- I watched you die.
(bear trap thuds)
Oh, fuck!
You squaw bitch!
(bones rattle)
(tomahawk thuds)
(thunder rumbles)
(laughs) You missed.
(blood dripping)
- You'll take no more.
(knife thuds)
(thunder booms)
(bones rattle)
- Star?
How did I not know
that J.B.- (grunts)
(Wes gasping and gurgling)
Please.
(gentle music)
(creature exhales slowly)
(creature growls softly)
(chain rattles)
(water splashing)
(folksy music)
Tell me who will
believe your excuses
Who's gonna swallow
all your lies
- Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
- Shit.
- Oh, oh.
- What the hell happened to you?
- Wes!
- Simon.
Oh, you made it to town?
- No, I got super fucking
lost. The sheriff found me.
- Where is everybody?
Wes, what happened?
Yo, what the fuck
was that thing?
- It was um, man, it-
- A bear.
It's always a bear.
Well that judge on
judgment day is friends
(engine roars)
(woodpecker hammers)
(birds chirp and sing)
(wind rustling)
(upbeat pop music)
I'm a sexual vessel
I like to push buttons
(car whooshes)
(protesters rabbling
and chanting)
(horn blares)
- [Protesters] Meat is murder!
Meat is murder! Meat is murder!
Meat is murder! Meat is murder!
- I love animals.
They're delicious.
- Oh yeah?
You wanna eat
something? Eat a dick.
- Meat is murder!
- Bitch.
- [Protesters] Meat is murder!
- Holy shit.
When's the camp? We almost
hit that fucking deer.
- It was pretty damn close.
- I need alcohol in my
belly. Now. (laughs)
- Hey.
- Oh, let's get,
let's get the bottle.
- Let's get fucked up, boys.
- Oh yeah.
- Fuck yes.
- Let's do it.
- Let me get four lo-cal shots
and four of those hard seltzers.
(dramatic music)
- Oh, hey boys.
- (whistles) Check
out Pocahotness.
- Welcome to Deer Camp.
(dark brooding music)
(dark brooding music continues)
(walkie hisses)
(toy beeps)
(dark music)
(table rattles)
(rowdy music)
It was a hot summer's day
I was lookin' to play
And the radio, it
was turning me on
And the music
from the speakers
Took my heart and
made it cleaner
I dreamt the radio, and
they were playing my song
Yeah, rock 'n' roll,
It's in my soul, aw yeah
Yeah, rock 'n' roll,
its in my soul, aw yeah
(audio beeps)
(static crackles)
(subdued music)
- [Announcer] Don't
clean your gutters
because fall isn't the only
thing leaves could do this year.
(ladder clatters)
- Ugh. Ugh.
- Don't let this happen to you.
Safety matters.
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with The Rhino Gutter Guards.
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gutters in the next 20 years,
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- [Announcer] Call
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- [Announcer] Get The
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at Rhino Gutter Guards.
Call Rhino Gutter Guards
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That's toll free at
888-40-Rhino. Call now.
(mellow music)
- [Clapper Loader]
Four. Charlie Chaplin.
Take two, Mark.
- Hey, let's not hit Buford.
He was actually really
interested in the gutters.
Gutter guards.
- [Buford] Fuck
your gutters, boy.
- [Buck] Whoa.
- Egbert, shut up.
- Don't you talk about
his gutters like that.
(all laugh)
- Dude, you took the words
right out of my mouth.
I was about to
fucking say that shit.
Wanna see through
whatever it is
Hunger pains for power
- [Buford] Fuck your gutters.
- Um, okay.
- Egbert, shut up.
- No.
I'll fuck my gutters, uh...
(all laugh)
Getting accustomed to equity
Love doesn't make me weak
Not a Desdemona on my knees
I'm trying to be better
- Fuck you, fucking asshole.
(Ep breathes heavily)
Did I miss something? (chuckles)
- Wait a minute- (laughs)
(all laugh)
- [Wes] How is
that even possible?
Hold my tongue
Don't want you to find
out just how much I care
Don't live for
you, but believe me
Life is anything but easy
You make it more
than bearable
I don't need you,
but I love you
And I love that
I don't need you
And you're someone
worth fighting for
Getting accustomed to equity
Love doesn't make me weak
Not a Desdemona on my knees
I'm trying to be better
Guilty pains are pressing
I'm repressing the expressing,
afraid to let you in
I don't need you,
but I love you
And I love that
I don't need you
And you're someone
worth fighting for
Getting accustomed to equity
Love doesn't make me weak
Not a Desdemona on my knees
I'm trying to be better
Love doesn't make me weak
Lower stakes is not maturity
You make me admit
I could be better
Better
With you I'm, with you I'm,
With you I'm, with you I'm
Just a little bit better
(wind rustling softly)
(insects trilling)
(static crackles)
(foreboding music)
(gunshot blasts)
(birds squawking)
- [J.B.] All right, dude.
Hey, say what we're
doing this weekend
and who's cabin this is.
- So it's my buddy's cabin.
It's our, our Deer
Camp tradition.
- When I went to go get ammo,
I found this really
cool multi-tool,
compass, whistle,
and magnifying glass
so if we get lost, we can go.
(multi-tool whistles softly)
- [J.B.] He's not
gonna make it one day.
- Let's just try to
have fun, all right?
- [J.B.] Go on in, Ep.
- Buck!
- Buck?
- Buck. Get out here, man.
Time to go to Deer Camp.
- Oh my God.
- Is it Debbie?
- (laughs) No.
Hey, Buck, wake up, man.
- Aw, fuck. The fuck?
- Wake up, dude.
Hey!
- Ah!
- [J.B.] So who
the fuck are you?
- No. Who the fuck are you, bro?
- [J.B.] Oh, shit.
(insects chirping)
(woodpecker drums)
(birds squawking and singing)
(engine rumbling)
(aggressive rock music)
I see you coming,
the dead of the night
Everybody's watching,
everybody's talking
- Woo!
Can you believe it, guys?
She came outta nowhere.
Dude, we've never filled a
tag before getting to camp.
- Yeah, but it kind of
scary though, right guys?
- Not in this 3,500
pound beast, dude.
Hold on. I can't see shit.
(Ep gulping)
- Oh, hey, hey, hey,
hey. Egbert's gonna barf.
- Hey, hold that in now.
- Don't you fucking puke.
Don't you do it, hey.
- What's wrong with this guy?
- Out the window,
Ep. Out the window.
- Hey, pull over man. Pull over.
- [J.B.] Don't you puke,
dude, don't you fucking dare.
- I'm okay.
(squeegee squeaks and sloshes)
- Hey, Ep, what are you
doing with your throat there?
What is that?
- It calms down my gag reflex.
- Kind of looks like you're
making room for a dick.
(cans rattle)
- Out of the way, fuckers.
Daddy's got a piss
like an elephant.
- Oh fuck, hey, hey, hey, don't.
- Whoa, whoa. Buck, you fuck.
- [Buck] Oh yeah.
I'm watering your tires for
making me sit in the back,
- [Karlos] Well, your
fat don't fit in the cab.
- Bullshit. I got shotgun
on the rest of the way.
- [Wes] No, no, no. Egbert
gets motion sickness.
- Yeah, this pussy almost
puked in my brand-new truck.
- [Simon] Brand new, J.B.?
- This thing's got more miles
than a Mexican street walker.
Uh, no offense, Karlos.
(rowdy music)
Holy shit.
- Where you going?
- The Buck stops here.
(engine starter whirring)
- Come on, let's get to
camp before dark, Buck.
- Tough titties.
My liver's itching.
- We got booze in the
truck. You know that.
- Hey guys, come back.
The fucking doe
must have knocked
the battery cable
loose or something.
Gimme a push.
- We shouldn't be stopping here.
- You're telling me that?
(upbeat rowdy music)
- Hey Bob, can I get
you another Spikehorn?
- Thanks, but I'd rather not.
(door thuds)
- Oh yeah. Daddy is home.
You see 'em coming
at you every night
Three Spikehorns, beautiful.
- $3.75.
- Actually, I'll have
a Spikehorn Light.
- Okay.
Two Spikehorns for Karlos and I,
one Spikehorn Light and
a tampon for Egbert here.
- We actually don't
have Spike Light.
- Just the tampon then.
- All right.
They make you restless, it's
nothing you ain't seen before
- No, we got more in the back.
Yeah.
Well, hey boys.
- Hey.
- Hey.
- Welcome to Deer
Camp. What'll it be?
- Three Spikes, darling.
- Okay.
- Hey, uh, (chuckles)
something's wrong
with your friend.
- Stop staring, Wes.
You're embarrassing us in
front of the nice Indian lady.
- What's wrong with you, man?
- All right, boys. Here we go.
To honor.
Getting on her, and
staying on her. (laughs)
Oh, fuck yeah.
All right.
Now it's your first time
hunting buddy, right?
You ready to kill something?
- Mm-hmm.
- All right.
Now before you go
shittin' in the woods,
let me show you how to squat
so you don't get mud
in your ass flaps.
- Oh, I ain't
shittin' in the woods.
- The hell you talking about?
We're not going to the
fucking Trump Plaza Motel, Ep.
- Well, it's only a
week. I'll be fine.
- This sumbitch some
going to be turd tuckin'.
(Karlos and Buck laugh)
- I'm pretty sure
that shit'll kill you.
- He ain't wrong.
Another round please.
- Ah.
(cans hiss)
- Here you go.
- [Star] I didn't
catch your name.
- Oh, uh, I don't tell
strangers my name.
- I'm Wes.
- Go on, tell him your name.
His girlfriend Carly
just dumped him
and he didn't know
he could love again.
- Right. That's right.
- It's Star.
- [J.B.] Is that
your stage name?
- No, they just give
all you Native girls
funny names, don't they?
- Yes sir, just like they give
y'all hilljacks fucked up teeth.
- What the hell
did you say to me?
- Hey, take your
hands off her man.
Do we need to step outside
so I can straighten out
those teeth for you.
- Would you give me
another, sassy mouth?
- I don't think so.
(Buford spits)
(Buford slurps)
- Ahh.
- Well, that was fucking gross.
- And I thought
chivalry was dead.
- Perfect. Thanks.
- So how long are you
gonna be in town for?
- You tell me.
(Star and Wes laugh)
(billiard balls clack)
You take your pension in
loneliness and alcohol
- I'm gonna sell this guy, guys.
- So.
- Hey.
- You guys have a
pretty bad leaf drop
up here over here, eh?
- Mm-hmm.
- Well, my company, The Rhino,
has some pretty
amazing gutter guards.
- Think about it.
- All right.
- Those cigarettes?
- Yep.
- Can I, uh, can I get one?
Oh man. Thank you
(rowdy music)
- Shots, dude.
- I'm not doing anymore shots.
- You need it. Two
more shots, man.
- [Star] Listen!
(whistles sharply)
- Oh, ho, ho, ho.
- All right, you assholes.
Let's get those drinks in
the air and make a toast.
- Marry me.
- Not in your wettest
dreams, Robbie.
(patrons laugh)
Now I know some of you think
this was once our
land, but you're wrong.
It's still our land.
So when you enter
the forest up here,
we have a couple
of rules for you.
First, respect the great spirit
and harvest only what you need.
Second, honor the deer.
Make it a merciful kill.
And third, tip your bartenders,
you cheap mother fuckers.
(patrons laugh)
- You know she's talking
to your fucking ass.
- To the hunt!
(patrons cheer)
(gentle music)
- Hey, Star.
- Yes, Wesley?
It is Wesley, isn't it?
- I actually haven't been called
that since the third grade.
- Oh.
- Um,
there's this guy from work,
he's letting us use his
cabin for the weekend
and he gave us this map,
but it's a little bit-
- It's really shitty.
(Star chuckles)
- Yeah.
- Oh, well that's an old
logging road off of 28.
You guys got four-wheel
drive, right?
- Fuck yeah, I do.
- All right.
Uh, well, follow the
old logging road a ways
and then here you'll see
a huge tamarack tree,
you're gonna turn right.
And then in about a mile or so,
you should see the
cabin on the left.
And if you hit Lake Manitou,
you've gone too far.
- That's a cool necklace.
- Oh it was my grandmother's.
- Are those shells?
- Deer toes.
- Gnarly.
- [Buford] What the fuck are
you dick sticks looking at?
- Oh, a bar fight. How original.
(showdown music)
- What's going on here?
- Why don't you ask the cast
of "Deliverance" over here?
- Well, the way we see it,
we got a darky, a wetback,
and four fudge packers.
- What the hell
did you just say?
- I ain't no fudge packer.
- Yeah, this here's Karlos.
- With a K.
- Used to be with a C,
but after he registered
25 Ks in Lebanon,
he changed it legally.
Ain't that right, Karlos?
- Always been with a K.
- Dude.
- Aren't we over this racist
bullshit by now, guys?
It's 1986.
- We just don't like your type
coming up here breathing on us.
- What the fuck you doing
with that confederate
flag shirt on, boy?
- You wanna make
something of it, boy?
- You keep talking like that,
and I'm gonna be your
back-door stranger.
- Come on guys. This is
the Peace Pipe, right?
And no one wants to end
up in the county jail-
(fist thuds)
(Karlos grunts)
(rowdy music)
- Marshmallow-ass mother fucker.
- Ah! Fuck!
- Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
- Hit him in the fucking face.
- You fuck.
(fist thuds)
- [Patrons] Fight,
fight, fight, fight!
- Get off him.
- Dude.
- Just remember, when you
pull the trigger this season,
it could have been worse.
(bone cracks)
- (screams) Crazy fuck!
(rowdy music darkens)
- Stop right there, numb nuts.
The fun's over.
(Buford laughs)
- I thought your type
only used bow and arrow.
- Oh, I'm pretty
good with my bow.
But that's a really
small target.
- Let's get the hell
outta here, Buford.
- Of course your name is Buford.
I bet all you fuckers
are named Buford.
- This ain't over. Bitch.
- Let's go man, come on.
- Yes, Buford. It is.
All right.
Who's buying me a drink?
(hunters clamors)
Oh. Perfect.
(faint rowdy music)
(train horn blares distantly)
(steam hisses)
(crossing gate clangs)
(train horn blares)
(train clatters and clangs)
(door knocks)
- Hello?
Number one or number two?
Okay.
(train clatters and clangs)
- [Attacker] Make a sound
and I'll cut your throat.
(Star inhales
sharply and groans)
Get off me!
(Star grunts)
(necklace clatters)
(Star grunts faintly)
(zipper zips)
- [Attacker] Stop it.
Stop it. I don't wanna
have to kill you.
(Star and attacker grunting)
- [Star] Get off me!
Get off me! (whimpers)
(shrieks) Get off me!
(dark music)
(knife thuds)
(brooding music)
(earth rumbles)
(necklace rattles)
(languid music)
- Yo, Wes. Check out
my moonwalk, man.
- Geez. Hey, have you seen Star?
- You got it bad, dude.
- All right. Time to go boys.
- I can't leave yet, guys.
- Bullshit.
We gotta leave while someone
can still keep us
between the ditches.
- Hey! Found him on the shitter.
- You wipe for him?
- Guys, I gotta say goodbye
to Star before we leave, okay?
- Dude, I promise you
we'll come back, man.
Let's hit the fucking road.
For a lesson learned
But none of that's
a great concern
- I left a note here for Star.
- I'll add it to the others.
Home got my
- [Buck] 48 beers in 24 hours.
That's my record and
I intend to crush it.
- 48?
- Holy shit, J.B.
Them cornholin' sons of bitches
done fucked up your truck, man.
- Those assholes.
- Uh-oh. Looks like
J.B.'s too drunk to drive.
I guess one of us is gonna
have to, okay, I'll do it.
(engine starter whirs)
(engine roars)
The beast lives.
All right, which direction
are we going boys?
- North on 37.
And then we're gonna-
- All right, fuck
it. We'll wing it.
(rowdy music)
(tires screech)
I remember my first time, Ep.
- Do I want to hear this?
- Bob set me up on a narrow draw
between two winter wheat fields.
And right at dawn,
I see a huge rack.
- Must've been your mama
bringing your ass a sandwich.
- Hey, you leave Lorraine's
tits out of this.
- Uh, left, right here.
- Where?
- [Wes] Right here,
uh, left right here.
- Which fucking way, man?
- Right here. Right here.
- 'Kay. Jesus.
(toy beeps)
Anyway, huge rack.
Not my mama's tits,
but an eight-point.
Man, my hands were
shaking so bad,
but I remember what Dad told me,
he said, "Buck, but you
worthless piece of shit.
Just take a slow, steady breath
and you let out half of it
right before you go
squeezin' the trigger."
I aced that bitch and we
ate his heart for lunch.
- Wait, the heart?
- Mm-hmm.
I'm gonna show you how to
cook up by heart, buddy.
- I ain't eating any heart.
- It's ritual.
First buck we kill,
we cook up the heart.
You don't have a choice.
- Oh man, it'll put
hair on your nuts too.
- I don't need any more of that.
- Hey, right here. Right here.
(can clatters)
(toy chimes)
- Can you turn that
fucking thing off, please?
- What do you care?
- 'Cause it's pissin'
me off. That's why.
(engine rumbles)
Are you guys sure we're
going the right way?
- Oh yeah. This is the place.
- Bad ass.
(brakes squeal)
(ominous music)
Ain't this place
the shit, Karlos?
- Good place for killing.
- You got a horseshoe in?
Fuck yeah. Shit.
Is it weird that
made my nipples hard?
(door clatters and creaks)
(laughs) Look at this place.
- [Wes] Oh wow.
And they left us
a welcoming gift.
- And some reading material.
Lacey Waxwing.
- Oh yeah. '79 catalog.
She likes long
walks on the beach.
Is that...?
- Bear trap.
- For what?
- Some bears,
fuckwad. (chuckles)
(rowdy music)
- Maybe I should have
fought harder for her.
- Maybe we should throw that
thing in the fucking fire.
- [Ep] This cabin needs gutters.
- Bros before hoes, dude.
Shotgun man.
- All right. All right.
- All right, Buck, go.
Here we are, the
greatest hunters
in the state of
fucking Michigan.
Pulled one deer tag
before we even got out
of the fuckin' truck.
(laughs) Beat that, bitch.
Hey, smell that?
Hey Karlos, Karlos, Karlos,
say something to
the world, buddy.
Come on, man. Fucking
introduce yourself.
(Karlos spits)
Sorry. He's a little shy.
He's new to the group,
but the rest of us, we've
all known each other
since before we sprouted pubes.
But he's a great electrician,
but he's a mean-ass drunk.
A little dip for the little dip?
There you go. Oh,
there you go, buddy.
Right in the lip.
- Like that?
- Great. Yeah.
There you go, buddy.
(Ep gags)
- There you go. You
can feel it, right?
- Oh, he's gaggin'.
- Hmm?
(Ep retches)
- Look out. Look out.
- Oh!
(phone ringing)
(brooding music)
- Paulson.
- [Williams] Sheriff,
Deputy Williams here.
I'm over at Murphy's Peace Pipe
and, uh, one of the bartenders
was found out back this morning.
Murdered. I got her right here.
It's Star.
It's Star, uh-
- I got you.
I know her mother.
Son of a bitch.
What was the cause of death?
- [Williams] Not sure yet.
She was strangled and stabbed.
- Was she, um,
was she raped?
- No.
Looks like she fought back.
- Well, that would've
pissed him off.
Who's on scene?
- [Williams] Right now, the
coroner and Detective Anderson.
- Let them finish up there
and find out who was
at that bar last night.
And then get back here
as soon as you can.
- [Williams] Yes, sir.
(dark brooding music)
- Sheriff.
- I just got off the
phone with Star's mother.
You know what she told me?
"I knew this would
happen one day."
- Why the hell would she
say something like that?
- Long before you
put on a badge,
this girl, Melissa Fox,
was found murdered.
A couple days later,
group of hunters were
found disemboweled.
This one, we had to identify
by his dental records.
A couple summers later,
another girl was found dead.
We found some
backpackers mutilated.
Dive team had to
pull a couple bodies
outta the bottom
of Lake Manitou.
- Ever catch the guy?
- There's a pattern here.
Every time a girl like
Star is found dead,
more bodies follow.
- You know, Sheriff, Buford
Johnson and his goons
were at the Peace
Pipe last night.
We know what kind of guy he is
and we know what
they're capable of.
And these notes
were left for Star.
A few of the names
I don't recognize.
- I'm gonna need
you to stay here.
Round up the usual suspects.
- Yes, sir.
- I'm gonna start with Buford,
see what he has to say.
Then I'm gonna go to the woods.
- Why?
- Try and prevent
another bear attack.
(coyotes howling)
(insects trilling)
(earth rumbling)
(bottle rattles)
(beer splashes)
(wind howls eerily)
(crows cawing)
(hunters snoring)
(pan sizzles)
(percolator putters)
- [Buck] Good morning, sunshine.
- How do you drink and
chew at the same time?
- The hell are
you talking about?
This is the breakfast
of champions.
- I mean, doesn't it get
all mixed up together?
- Yeah, sure.
But so do your green beans
and your mashed potatoes.
It's all going to the
same place, right?
(Buck's stomach gurgles)
Oh, speaking of which, I think
I gotta pump a dump. Yep.
(farts) Ooh!
(ominous music)
- [J.B.] All right
boys, call 'em out.
- Bolt action .30-06
- Model 94 AE.
- Model 1894.
Thanks Grandpa Herm.
- .30-30 lever
action. Hot loads.
- Don't point that
fucking thing at me, man.
.270, nine-power scope
- .410 pump.
- A .410?
- That's a child's weapon.
- This is birdshot.
- They're bullets.
What's the difference?
- [Buck] Good Lord, Egbert.
- Hey, keep on pumping that
thing. Let's see what happens.
- [Wes] Maybe let's
just keep it down here
until we get outside, huh?
- Okay.
- [Buck] All right. You're
hunting with me today, Ep.
Come on.
- Wait, is that...?
- The shitter? Oh yeah.
I already cooked up a meatloaf
in there this morning.
Now, from here on out.
No more talking, okay?
Hand signals only.
- Got it.
- The fuck did I just say, man?
(toilet gurgles menacingly)
(water splashes)
- Dude, we should go back
to the Peace Pipe tonight.
- Fuck that, man.
We've been trying to get
you out here in the woods
for the past two years.
- Yeah, but I
think she liked me.
- (laughs) She flirts for tips.
- Maybe you're jealous.
(ominous music)
(crow trills)
- Man, Buck's a crazy dude, man.
How long you guys
been working together?
One time in high school,
man, it was so crazy-
- Look, look. I hunt alone.
- Um, okay.
Well good luck.
You know deer can smell
a asshole a mile away.
Prick.
(water sloshing gently)
- Egbert, get your
little ass over here.
- No.
- I don't want this beer,
but after last night,
(inhales) I need this beer.
Ah.
(can cracks)
Cheers.
(dark music)
(birds squawking)
- Get over here.
Come on.
Come here. Come here.
(dramatic music)
(wind rustling eerily)
(wood creaking)
(woodpecker hammering)
(leaves rustle)
(hammer clicks)
(car horn blares)
- Did that come from camp?
- Someone's in trouble.
- What the hell?
(water splashing)
- [Buck] Come on, bitch. Get up.
- What the shit?
Who fucking...
(brooding music)
- This every one in your party?
- What son of a bitch just
got himself fucking killed?
- Karlos, you might
wanna lower your, uh...
- Karlos, is it?
- You scared off lunch.
- What could we do
for you, officer?
- It's sheriff. Sheriff Paulson.
You boys were at the Peace
Pipe last night, weren't you?
- [Wes] Yeah, we were there.
- Just long enough
for some racist fucktards
to pick a fight with us.
- Yeah and put a tire
iron through my window.
- The bartender was found
murdered this morning.
Her name was Star.
Star Agache.
(Karlos exhales)
- Fuck.
- Sorry, Wes.
- Wes?
Wesley. This is you?
You wrote this?
- Yeah. That's me.
- You wrote that you were
gonna go back for her.
- I was. I, I was
planning on it.
- So did you, did
you go back for her?
- Nobody left here last night.
- Your sounding rather
accusatory there, sheriff.
- Yeah, we didn't come up here
to get in any
trouble, your Honor.
- Not living up here, you
boys wouldn't know it,
but too many of our
girls go missing.
Outsiders come up here and
take more than venison.
- Well, what about those
assholes at the bar?
- Yeah. I mean,
she kicked them out
with a shotgun pointed
at their asses.
- Pissed 'em off real good.
- Yeah, I'm not telling
you how to do your job,
but maybe look up
those backwoods,
cousin-fucking pieces of shit and
see if they know anything.
- I already did.
And they had the same
sentiments about you.
- I ain't no cousin fucker.
- Her mother named her Star
because of what she
saw in her eyes.
(tense music)
There's no hiding from the
sins committed on these lands.
(engine starter whirs)
(engine rumbles)
- I can't believe this.
What kind of coward
could do this?
- [Karlos] I've seen
worse in Lebanon.
- This isn't fucking
Lebanon, Karlos.
- Hey, push me again.
Come on. See what happens.
- Guys, guys, guys, guys.
Calm, calm, calm, calm. Right?
- Your work friends
a real asshole, Buck.
- Yeah, he knows. Drink this.
- I don't want a
drink right now, man.
- Look buddy. I
liked her too, okay?
She had spunk, she was
smoking hot, cute little mole,
but you have a choice to make.
You can either let
this drag us down
or we can acknowledge
this girl's life
right here, right now.
There you go.
- Whoa. What is that?
- I don't know. Uncle made it.
Kicks though, don't it?
- It just burns.
- Like a fucking herpes flare.
(leaves rustle)
- Buck, you fucking asshole.
(Ep breathing heavily)
Did I miss something?
- Ep, perfect timing.
We're gonna need that pop gun.
- It's a .410, Buck.
(cans rattle)
- [Buck] You're up first, J.B.
- She was more than beautiful.
She was fucking spirited.
- Who?
- The bartender was found
murdered this morning.
- Pull.
(gunshot blasts)
- Nice shot.
She saved my ass from
that hilljack too.
Pull!
(gunshot blasts)
- Son of a bitch, man, you
almost shot my fucking hand off.
- He's panicking 'cause
it's his jerking-off hand.
- Hey, fuck you.
I'm ambidextrous and you know
I get way more ass than you.
- Oh yeah?
Come over here and sniff my dick
so you can remember
what pussy smells like.
(Buck laughs incredulously)
- Oh, I already know what your
sister's pussy smells like.
- You fucking prick.
- What was her name again?
I know she knows mine
'cause she screamed it a
thousand fuckin' times.
- Fucking relax, Buck.
- Seriously, Buck?
You're such a fucking asshole.
- (laughs) Never gets old man.
- Seriously. Fuck you, asshole.
- All right, Wes,
let's see what you got.
- She, she was more than funny
and, and spirited and all that.
You know, she, um, she...
Just toss it, Marino.
(ominous music)
- What the fuck, man?
That was a perfect throw.
What are you doing?
- There's something
in the woods.
- [Ep] I don't see anything.
- You couldn't see
a pair a titties
if they slapped you in the face.
- What'd you see, Wes?
One of those
confederate fuckers?
- No, I don't think so.
- [Ep] Maybe it was a bear.
- [Wes] No. Guys, I'm serious.
(crows cawing)
(gunshot blasts)
(Buck laughs)
- What the hell, Buck?
- Warn us before you blast
off in our ear, Dude.
- A crow? Why the hell
would you shoot that?
- I was warming up
my trigger finger.
- You gonna eat it?
- Fuck no. Who eats crow, man?
- At least bury it
or something, man.
- I'm gonna waste my time
burying a fucking crow?
(brooding music)
- We should head out soon.
We're losing daylight.
(engine rumbles)
(ominous music)
(earth rumbles)
(crows cawing)
(eerie music)
(insects chirping)
- Hey, enjoy the only
reach-around you're
ever gonna get.
While we're at it,
there's a lot of log,
so scoot the fuck over.
- Sorry.
- So you think Wes saw a bear?
- [Buck] Probably.
As long as you're faster
than the slowest guy,
it shouldn't be a problem.
Although you got a
lot of extra weight
in your colon
slowing you down, so.
- No, no, I'm fine.
- [Buck] I swear to
God, if you fart,
I'm gonna stab you
with an antler.
(Buck spits)
(Ep glugs)
(wind whistling)
(trees creaking)
(leaves rustle)
(deer huffs)
(Wes whistles)
(hoof steps rustle)
(birds chirping)
(gunshot blasts distantly)
(tense music)
(Karlos roars)
- [Karlos] Fucker!
- What the hell?
(Karlos roars)
- Karlos?
Karlos! Karlos!
- [Karlos] (grunts) Fuck!
- Karlos!
(Karlos grunting)
Karlos!
(heart squelching)
- I dropped her on the spot.
- You sick, sick fuck.
(Karlos laughs oddly)
(rowdy music)
(venison sizzles)
- All right, first
slab's Egbert's. (laughs)
Hey J.B., Come get this.
- Guys, this was
barely in the pan.
- Yeah, just long enough
to heat up the juices
and by juices, I
mean blood. (laughs)
- Nothing worse
than a dry heart.
- That's right.
(static hisses and crackles)
- J.B., you wanna
fix your radio, it's-
(static screeches)
- Oh, fuck!
- Hey, turn that thing off.
- Son of a bitch must
have sold me a lemon.
(rowdy music continues)
What the hell?
Piece of shit, fucking 'Burban.
- Surprised you get a
signal out here anyway, man.
- All right, it's gettin'
cold now. Come on.
- Come on, man. It doesn't
taste like anything.
- Yeah, it's like pate.
- Pat what?
- It's like duck liver,
fucker. Just eat it.
Here, wash it down with this.
(Ep gags)
Uh-oh. (laughs)
(Ep retches)
- [Hunters] Oh!
- Gross, dude.
- It's pathetic, man.
- Where's the water?
- There's no water at
camp, Ep. Beer only
- No, no, no. Fuck
you, crazy man.
- Take it.
- I'm not eating that.
- Didn't know we had two
pansy asses here at camp.
- It's a doe, Karlos.
- Your point?
- We don't have a doe tag.
- We always eat the
first heart, Wes.
- Of the first buck, Buck.
- Yeah, whatever. Okay?
To the first kill of '86.
- Fuck yeah.
Right here baby.
- Cheers, gentlemen.
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
(dark music)
- What wrong with it?
- Maggots.
(J.B. gags)
(Buck retches)
- What the fuck is that?
- [Ep] Guys? Come in here now.
- What does he want now?
The fuck is it now, Egbert?
- The bear trap's gone.
Why would they
take the bear trap?
- Those things are worth
like 200 bucks, man.
- Those assholes
know we're here.
- Gah. Guys, they're just
trying to scare us, okay?
They're fucking with us, right?
We're here to have fun.
This is Deer Camp, right?
Beer, beer, beer, beer, beer.
Let's go, out the door. Come on.
- You guys can do what you
want. But I'm going to bed.
- Same here, Buck.
- That's fuckin' bullshit.
What? A little worm infestation
draw your pussies out?
- Yes.
- Drink this. Here.
The party's just getting start-
(Buck snoring)
- Buck, shut the fuck up
or I'm teabagging you.
(Buck groans)
(brooding music)
(wolves howl)
(loon wails)
(wind growls eerily)
(floorboards creak)
(toy beeps)
- Simon, turn that
thing off, man.
(toy beeps)
Seriously, dude.
(toy beeping)
(fire crackles)
(toy beeping)
(stuffed bird creaks)
(toy beeping)
(stairs creak)
(wood clatters)
(dramatic music)
(door slams)
(wind blows eerily)
(fire roars)
- It's inside me! (shrieks)
It got inside me!
It's fucking inside me!
Ah! Ah!
- W- what the fuck?
What is it, what is it, man?
- What is happening?
Egbert, what is inside you?
- What's going on?
- Someone gag the bitch.
- It was crawling on my leg.
It embedded.
- Well, what the hell is it?
- I don't know.
(dark music)
- All right, let's see it.
- I think it was a dream.
- Strip.
- Guys, seriously, I
think it was just a dream.
- Hey, Buck, what the
hell's in that shit, man?
- I don't know, but
I feel bulletproof.
Strip.
- [All] Oh!
- Shit!
- Looks like your nuts
are wearing a pelt.
- Woo. I think we
just found Bigfoot.
- Holy shit. Hey, you're gonna
have to hold up that shaft.
- What?
- He needs to examine
your cock bag.
'Cause if it is
what we think it is,
you're gonna want Karlos to
get it out real pronto like.
- It looks like hairy bat wings.
- Oh God.
- Take a look.
- Yep. Oh, that thing's
buried in your coin purse
like it's treasure hunting.
Mm-mm.
- What is it?
- It's a fucking deer tick.
- Well get it out.
- I'm gonna need some light.
- I'll start the generator.
- All right, what's
the plan, Karlos?
- Well, when the little
baby stops squirming,
I can get the head out.
- You hear that,
Ep? Don't squirm.
(generator rumbles)
(lights buzz)
(tense music)
- (moans) It hurts.
- I haven't touched you yet.
(tick squelching and chirping)
- Eg, hold still
or the head will
break off inside you.
- Aren't these things
filled with disease?
- Yeah. Whine disease.
- Huh?
- You're fucking
whining. Shut up.
(dramatic music)
- [All] Oh!
(knife thuds)
(tick squeals)
- Congratulations.
- Oh shit.
- You survived.
- Am I bleeding?
- All right. Who needs a drink?
(generator sputters)
What the fuck did you do, J.B.?
- What do you mean?
- What's up with the generator?
- I don't fucking know.
You and Karlos are the
electricians, dude.
- It's not an electrical
motor dipshit.
Is there fuel in it?
(thunder rumbles)
(generator sputters)
- Son of a bitch.
- J.B.!
- Gimme a second.
- Dude.
(thunder booms)
(creature roars distantly)
- Who the fuck took my kill?
- Maybe it was those
assholes from the bar.
(Karlos growls)
- We're going huntin'.
- Wait a second. Guys?
- [Buck] Get your pants on, Ep.
- They were probably
just fucking with us.
I mean, we're not
killing anybody, right?
- [Karlos] You might not be.
- Hell of a thing,
Deer Camp, isn't it?
(thunder rumbles)
(rain pattering)
(mud splashes)
(thunder crashes)
- When we find these
fuckers, I get first shot.
- Shoot to scare, please.
- [Karlos] Marines
shoot to kill.
- Buck, why'd you
invite this guy?
- He's on work release.
I thought it'd be good for him.
- [Karlos] Yeah, I
can hear you fuckers.
- Hey, everybody,
relax. All right?
We're not killing
anyone. Right, Karlos?
- Hey.
(thunder crashes)
- What is it?
- I don't know but it's
hunched over my deer.
- Whoa, whoa. What
are you doing?
- What the fuck's it
look like, shit stain?
I'm gonna shoot it.
Get your hand off my barrel.
- You don't even
know what it is.
- It could be a bear, but they
should be hibernating, right?
(ominous music)
- [Wes] It does sort
of look like a bear.
- [Simon] Can't shoot a bear.
- [Karlos] Bull
fucking shit I can't.
- [Simon] It's out
of season, asshole.
- It stole my kill.
- Good. Let it.
Now let's get the
hell out of here.
(creature growls)
(wind rustles eerily)
- Nope.
- Shit.
- Go, go, go.
- I see you fucker!
- Let's go, you fucking
lunatic. Come on.
(creature howls)
(thunder rumbles)
- Hey! Why'd you run?
I had the shot.
I could have ended this war.
- What fucking war, Karlos?
We're in Northern Michigan.
- All right, everyone, uncinch
your girdles. Take a breath.
You, drink this and
calm the fuck down, huh?
- I don't want a beer,
Buck. It's not even 9:00 AM.
- Exactly. We shoulda
had the first one at six.
All right. Who saw what it was?
Huh?
Personally, I, I think
it was like a possum.
- A fucking possum, dude?
- You're fucking kidding me,
man?
- A possum?!
- It had a white face. What
out here has a white face?
- Those hilljacks,
they're pretty white.
- I don't think it
was a hilljack, Simon.
- Well, maybe it was a wolf.
- Wait, wolves? There
are wolves out here?
- Wolves don't make
rattling sounds, all right?
This is something else.
- Hey, dudes.
(thunder rumbles)
I got it on tape.
- [Wes] Let's see it.
(cassette clicks and whirs)
- Take a look.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You suck at filming.
You got fucking
Parkinson's or something?
- Fucking film it
then next time.
How about that?
- Fuck you, man.
Fuck you, man.
- Let me see it.
- Fucking bitch!
- Come on, man.
Come on. Stop, man.
- Call me a bitch again.
(tense music)
(dramatic music)
- Simon?
Here. Lemme see it.
(cassette whirs and clicks)
Oh shit.
- Let's go.
- What the fuck
you talking about?
- We're not staying out here.
Not with whatever
the hell that is.
- No one's fucking
going anywhere.
- Who's driving me?
- And no one's fucking driving
your ass nowhere neither.
- Simon, where you going?
- I'm going back to
Detroit where it's safe.
- Simon!
- Candy ass!
- [Simon] Go to hell, Karlos.
- Oh, I've been there already.
It's called Beirut.
- Hey, Simon. What
the hell, man?
- You saw that thing?
- Yeah, it was probably
one of those rednecks
playing dress up or something.
- I'm not sticking
around to find out, Wes.
- We got six guns and a
crate of ammo, man. Come on.
- Yeah, you'll need all of it.
- You're gonna get
lost. You dick.
- Me lost?
- Yeah.
- You know, Wes, you
hadn't been hunting
with us for two years
because you were fuckin' lost.
And the sad thing is, if you
stay here, you're fuckin' dead.
So let's go, man. Let's go.
- I can't, Simon.
Whoever's out there
fucking with us
is probably the same crazed
asshole that killed her.
- Wes, I'm not sure
that thing was a man.
- I can't leave here
until I find out.
- Good luck, Rambo.
- What is it you think?
- Whatever it is,
it's gonna be hanging
from the buck pole
before dinner.
- Fuck yeah.
- That's right, buddy.
- He left.
You guys, I, I can't
let him walk out alone.
- He's a deserter.
- You stop with that
bullshit war talk, man.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
You don't know what it's
like to have served, okay?
- Oh, but you do.
Buck, you spent two weeks in
the Marines and then quit.
- I was honorably discharged
after they found a heart murmur.
And you know that you
son of a rotten bitch.
- Guys. Come on.
- J.B., can I get
the truck keys?
- J.B.
- I'm gonna drive Simon
out and I'll be right back.
- You hand him those keys,
J.B., I'll stab your knee.
- He's not gonna stab your knee.
- Oh no. He, he will.
He will.
- Probably won't start anyway.
- Why do you care
so much, Karlos?
- Because Wesley,
I paid the price for cowards.
- [Ep] What happened?
- Hummus eater cut me
collar to collar,
left me to die.
Did I deserve that
because I stayed and
fought while others ran?
I served this country
to protect your
American right to hunt.
(determined music)
- I say we exercise that right.
- You see, now it feels
like a hunting trip.
- Fuck yeah.
(arrow thuds)
- Holy shit!
- Take cover!
- Let's go.
We gotta get inside.
- Wait, man!
- Come on!
- Come on, come on.
- Shit!
- They actually shot him
with a fucking arrow.
Someone lock the door!
- We gotta get
you to a hospital.
- Bullshit! Push it through.
- What!?
- Push it through?
- If we pull it out,
the broadhead will
tear everything up.
We gotta push it through.
All the way through.
(Karlos groans)
- [All] Oh!
- Geez.
- Well?
- All right. I'll do it.
I'll do it. I'll do it.
Okay. You ready, bud?
- Yeah. Ow.
- Sorry, sorry.
- Okay. Okay.
Oh! Fuck.
(Ep gags)
No, I don't think
I can do it, man.
- Come on, man. Liquid
balls, let's go.
- Fuck. All right.
Ah! Ready!
- Oh, shit.
- Come on.
- Okay. Here we go, here we go.
(Karlos groans)
- Oh, I can see the tip!
Almost!
- Holy shit, man.
(arrow cracks)
Fuck. Oh fuck, oh fuck.
What the hell is that?
- That's no broadhead.
Is that stone?
(Karlos grunts)
(roof thuds)
(tense music)
- It's outside.
- Grab the guns.
(leaves rustle)
Stay on my six.
- Let's squash
this fucking turd.
- Ep, grab the fucking ammo.
- Why me?
- 'Cause you're the bitch.
(thrilling music)
- Shoo, you're
fast for a fat man.
- Wrong. I'm fat for a fast man.
- I got the ammo.
- Oh, good do you want me
to lick your crinkle
star or something?
Fuck no, pack rat.
- I brought it out for you guys.
- Good. And you can
carry it for us too.
You see anything, man?
- No.
- You fucking carry it.
- Oh, look. A fucking
tough guy, huh?
- Ow! You fucking twerp.
- Hey, Egbert, stop
embarrassing yourself.
- Hey, Egbert, calm
down, man. Come on.
- Yeah, it's easy
for you to say, Wes,
you haven't been treated like
a piece of shit all week.
(Karlos and Buck chuckle)
That's funny, huh?
You know what, you bastards?
You two can go fuck each other.
- Look at that.
You finally got some
nuts in that hairy sack.
- Okay, I'm sorry guys.
I just, uh-
- No, don't ever apologize, Ep.
- That's right.
You shove our shit
right back into us
when we give it to you, buddy.
- I guess, I guess you
guys just pushed me
a little too hard.
I gotta tell you guys something.
That night at the
bar, I went out to-
(rope whooshes)
(dramatic music)
- Egbert?
- Guys.
(Ep shrieks)
- Egbert!
Ep!
- Oh my God!
- Ep!
- Ep! Ep!
Where'd he go?
- What the hell?
- Ep!
- Ep!
- We're coming, buddy.
(dramatic music)
- Ep, where are you?
- Fuck.
- Is he okay?
- [Buck] He's fine as
peach fucking cobbler.
- Ep!
- Ep!
Where is he?
- Ep!
- Egbert!
- Ep!
- Ep!
- Shit.
- Egbert!
(bird trills)
- Guys.
(dark music)
- Egbert!
- [Buck] Ep, buddy.
- Hey, Egbert.
- Ep, buddy.
- [Buck] Ep?
- Holy shit.
(guts squelch)
- Egbert. Oh God.
(bones rattle softly)
- What the fuck is this thing?
(Ep grunts)
(dramatic music)
(all shout)
- Jesus!
- Ep, buddy?
- What the fuck?
(Ep's stomach rumbles)
- Fuck.
(Ep farts)
I guess he finally
took that shit.
(creature growls)
(gunshots blast)
(creature howls eerily)
Where the fuck is it?
(gunshots blasting)
- I'm out!
- Let's get the hell outta here.
- [J.B.] Fucking run!
- Ah!
(tense music)
- You got the keys?
- I got the fucking keys.
- It better start.
- It'll fucking start.
- It better fucking start.
- It'll fucking start, fat ass.
(engine rumbles)
- Oh, god.
(engine roars)
(headlight shatters)
- What the hell?
- What the fuck?
- Who the fuck's in there?
(Suburban groans and creaks)
- Oh shit.
- Oh!
- Oh shit!
Oh shit!
(explosion booms)
(fire crackling)
(desperate music)
- The fuck?
(creature growls)
(bones rattle)
- Oh shit. Oh fuck.
(rifle clicks)
- We need ammo.
- No fucking shit, man.
(tomahawk thuds)
(bones rattle)
- Oh!
- Holy fuck!
- Shit!
(creature growls)
- Where is it?
- It's gone.
- Yeah and so is its tomahawk.
- Don't be telling me this
thing's a fucking Indian?
- I ain't saying shit, okay?
- Where's the rest of the ammo?
- In the corner.
- Oh fuck!
- What's it want from us?
- Shit!
Egbert must have grabbed it
all, which means we're fucked.
- Here. Here.
There's a dozen in there.
Get away from the door.
- I'm just trying to look, man.
That thing flipped the 'Burban
like it was a Matchbox car.
That door is made a pine lumber.
- Shit.
- Fuck.
- What the fuck was that thing?
- I don't know.
But we're no longer the hunters.
- You mean it's
fucking coming back?
- Oh yeah.
- [J.B.] How can you be so sure?
- Because we're still breathing.
- What's the plan, guys?
- This may surprise you,
but I say we run for it.
- No, no. We'll end up like Ep.
- No. Only the
slowest one of us.
- Come on, Buck.
Hey, it's survival of
the fittest, fucker.
- I have an idea.
In Lebanon-
- Here we go again.
- We took cover in
a metal warehouse
where the rebels set
up a booby trap for us.
- Okay.
- Wired electricity to it.
One poor bastard, a
private from West Virginia,
he leaned up next to the
exterior wall and it, uh,
and it, uh-
- And it what?
- And it sealed him to it.
- The fuck? What the fuck?
- Charred him like
a slab of bacon.
That fucker set up
a trap for Egbert.
I say we return the favor.
- Fuck yeah.
- We're not the
Ghostbusters, Karlos.
- You have a better solution?
(dark determined music)
(fabric rips)
(wire rattles)
(hammer thuds)
- Hey, Buck, Someone's
gotta rig that generator.
- Generator's outside.
- Yeah, no shit.
- Well, you fucking do it, man.
- Well, you always bragging
about how you the fastest.
- Fuck.
- Nah.
I need you thinking clear.
- If I'm thinking clear, I'm
not going out there. Huh?
(dark determined
music continues)
(door thuds)
(fire crackling)
(insects chirping)
(beer splashing)
All right, so you're telling me
I wait for it to touch
the cage and I pull this.
- And then it will fry its ass.
- It's not cutting
it a little close?
- What do you guys
think this thing is?
- You've asked that already.
- No one's given me an answer,
so I'm gonna keep on asking.
- It's a fucking forest demon.
- I mean, where
did it come from?
- What if it doesn't
come back? Huh?
What if it waits us out?
Wait's for us to go outside.
We only got 12 beers left.
- Is that all you
fucking think about?
- No, I think about your sister
and her saucy bottom bits too.
- One more word about my sister
and I'll cut your fucking
AIDS-riddled dick off.
- (snaps) What was
her name again?
- You're such an asshole.
- Can you guys please shut up?
(can clatters)
- 11.
- Buck, J.B.,
I've been an awful friend
of you guys and I'm sorry.
These last few
years I've just been
so focused on
keeping Carly happy-
- Oh shit.
- What?
- This is the part
where we all say something
meaningful before we die?
'Cause if I'm being honest,
I don't give a fuck.
I, I don't want to hear it.
And it would please me greatly
if you would shut the fuck up.
(toy chimes)
Oh, good. Simon
forgot his Simon.
- It's broken.
- No.
(dark music)
It's here.
(toy beeps)
(static crackles indistinctly)
- The fuck?
That things not
broken. It's possessed.
(static voice
crackles indistinctly)
What's it saying?
(toy speaks demonically)
(roof thuds)
It's on the roof.
- Oh, oh, oh fuck.
- Fuck.
- Oh shit.
It's playing with us with.
(creature growls)
We're it's prey.
You gotta be patient.
He's trying to lure us outside.
It's just like back in
fucking Lebanon- (grunts)
- K- Karlos?
- Oh fuck!
- Oh fuck.
Oh shit.
(gunshot blasts)
(Karlos' head squelches)
- Fuck.
(eerie music)
- Guys, on the tomahawk,
it's Star's necklace.
(creature roars)
Oh, Jesus.
- Holy shit!
- Pull the rope, Buck!
Fucking pull it!
- I'm trying!
- Come on, Buck.
- Start, you son of a bitch!
(generator rumbles)
(electricity crackles)
Guys!
Oh fuck, oh fuck.
(all breathing heavily)
You guys see it?
- Did it work?
- Now for my original plan.
(thrilling music)
Fuck.
(ethereal ominous music)
(creature crackles)
(heart squelches)
(creature snarls)
- Ow!
- Shit.
Get off your ass, man.
(creature roars)
- Shit.
Where is that
fucking coming from?
- Guys?
- It's fucking with us.
Shit.
- Hey, come on. Come on.
- Holy, guys.
Hey Buck!
- We're almost to the lake.
- Buck, it's Leslie.
- What!?
- My sister's name.
- No, fucking shit man.
(Buck grunts)
- That's for Leslie.
- J.B., you traitorous fuck!
(Buck shrieks)
(creature growls)
- Oh shit!
What the fuck, the fuck is that?
(crows cawing)
(gunshot blasts)
(Buck grunts)
(bones rattle)
Ow. Fuck me.
(dark music)
(earth rumbles)
(tense music)
- Wes?
- Where's Buck?
- He wasn't fast enough.
- That thing killed Star.
- What?
- H- her necklace was
around the tomahawk.
- Wes, what the are
you talking about, man?
- Hey, listen to me.
We're gonna take that boat,
we're gonna paddle across the lake
and there's a road on the other side
that goes back into town.
- No. I don't wanna die, dude.
- Hey! Hey!
I'm gonna get you
across the lake, okay?
(J.B. breathing shakily)
(water sloshing)
- [J.B.] Oh shit.
(both grunting and groaning)
(creature growling)
Oh shit.
Oh shit, Wes.
- Eyes forward. Keep paddling.
- Oh shit.
Oh God. It's gone.
- We're almost there.
- Faster, man. Fucking faster.
(boat thuds)
(water whooshing)
Shit.
(dark music)
(creature moans hauntingly)
Oh fuck, Wes, it's spinning us.
What the fuck?
Oh fuck. (groans)
(creature hisses)
Fuck! Shit!
Shit, shit, shit, shit.
Oh God. We're gonna die.
- Hey, hey-
- We're gonna fucking die
out here, man.
- Hey.
Hey, look at me.
What did I tell you? No
one's dying out here.
I'm not gonna let
anything happen-
(J.B. screams)
- Wes! Wes!
Fuck!
Shit, shit, shit, shit. Shit.
(J.B. breathing heavily)
(water splashing)
(footsteps thudding)
(creature snarls)
Oh shit. Shit, shit, shit,
shit, shit, shit, shit.
What the fuck do you want?!
What are you?!
Impossible.
I...
(glass shatters)
(door knocks)
- Who's in there?
J.B.? (scoffs) Shit.
(train horn blares)
- I watched you die.
(bear trap thuds)
Oh, fuck!
You squaw bitch!
(bones rattle)
(tomahawk thuds)
(thunder rumbles)
(laughs) You missed.
(blood dripping)
- You'll take no more.
(knife thuds)
(thunder booms)
(bones rattle)
- Star?
How did I not know
that J.B.- (grunts)
(Wes gasping and gurgling)
Please.
(gentle music)
(creature exhales slowly)
(creature growls softly)
(chain rattles)
(water splashing)
(folksy music)
Tell me who will
believe your excuses
Who's gonna swallow
all your lies
- Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
- Shit.
- Oh, oh.
- What the hell happened to you?
- Wes!
- Simon.
Oh, you made it to town?
- No, I got super fucking
lost. The sheriff found me.
- Where is everybody?
Wes, what happened?
Yo, what the fuck
was that thing?
- It was um, man, it-
- A bear.
It's always a bear.
Well that judge on
judgment day is friends
(engine roars)
(woodpecker hammers)
(birds chirp and sing)
(wind rustling)
(upbeat pop music)
I'm a sexual vessel
I like to push buttons
(car whooshes)
(protesters rabbling
and chanting)
(horn blares)
- [Protesters] Meat is murder!
Meat is murder! Meat is murder!
Meat is murder! Meat is murder!
- I love animals.
They're delicious.
- Oh yeah?
You wanna eat
something? Eat a dick.
- Meat is murder!
- Bitch.
- [Protesters] Meat is murder!
- Holy shit.
When's the camp? We almost
hit that fucking deer.
- It was pretty damn close.
- I need alcohol in my
belly. Now. (laughs)
- Hey.
- Oh, let's get,
let's get the bottle.
- Let's get fucked up, boys.
- Oh yeah.
- Fuck yes.
- Let's do it.
- Let me get four lo-cal shots
and four of those hard seltzers.
(dramatic music)
- Oh, hey boys.
- (whistles) Check
out Pocahotness.
- Welcome to Deer Camp.
(dark brooding music)
(dark brooding music continues)
(walkie hisses)
(toy beeps)
(dark music)
(table rattles)
(rowdy music)
It was a hot summer's day
I was lookin' to play
And the radio, it
was turning me on
And the music
from the speakers
Took my heart and
made it cleaner
I dreamt the radio, and
they were playing my song
Yeah, rock 'n' roll,
It's in my soul, aw yeah
Yeah, rock 'n' roll,
its in my soul, aw yeah
(audio beeps)
(static crackles)
(subdued music)
- [Announcer] Don't
clean your gutters
because fall isn't the only
thing leaves could do this year.
(ladder clatters)
- Ugh. Ugh.
- Don't let this happen to you.
Safety matters.
Stay off ladders.
Never clean your gutters again
with The Rhino Gutter Guards.
If you have to clean your
gutters in the next 20 years,
we will give you
your money back.
- [Announcer] Call
Rhino Gutter Guards
and protect yourself
and your gutters.
- Gutters were
invented in 1500 BC.
With our innovative
technology at Rhino Guards,
they stand as one of the
greatest inventions of all time.
- [Announcer] Get The
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Leave ladders to the pros
at Rhino Gutter Guards.
Call Rhino Gutter Guards
now at 888-40-Rhino.
That's toll free at
888-40-Rhino. Call now.
(mellow music)
- [Clapper Loader]
Four. Charlie Chaplin.
Take two, Mark.
- Hey, let's not hit Buford.
He was actually really
interested in the gutters.
Gutter guards.
- [Buford] Fuck
your gutters, boy.
- [Buck] Whoa.
- Egbert, shut up.
- Don't you talk about
his gutters like that.
(all laugh)
- Dude, you took the words
right out of my mouth.
I was about to
fucking say that shit.
Wanna see through
whatever it is
Hunger pains for power
- [Buford] Fuck your gutters.
- Um, okay.
- Egbert, shut up.
- No.
I'll fuck my gutters, uh...
(all laugh)
Getting accustomed to equity
Love doesn't make me weak
Not a Desdemona on my knees
I'm trying to be better
- Fuck you, fucking asshole.
(Ep breathes heavily)
Did I miss something? (chuckles)
- Wait a minute- (laughs)
(all laugh)
- [Wes] How is
that even possible?
Hold my tongue
Don't want you to find
out just how much I care
Don't live for
you, but believe me
Life is anything but easy
You make it more
than bearable
I don't need you,
but I love you
And I love that
I don't need you
And you're someone
worth fighting for
Getting accustomed to equity
Love doesn't make me weak
Not a Desdemona on my knees
I'm trying to be better
Guilty pains are pressing
I'm repressing the expressing,
afraid to let you in
I don't need you,
but I love you
And I love that
I don't need you
And you're someone
worth fighting for
Getting accustomed to equity
Love doesn't make me weak
Not a Desdemona on my knees
I'm trying to be better
Love doesn't make me weak
Lower stakes is not maturity
You make me admit
I could be better
Better
With you I'm, with you I'm,
With you I'm, with you I'm
Just a little bit better