Deli Ask (2017) Movie Script

WEBVTEkrem.
Hakan Altun?
Give me my money, Ekrem.
Otherwise, you will get to know
a side of me that you've never seen.
I don't know you at all, Hakan Altun.
Eko.
People are killed for 10 liras
in this country.
Is that a threat, Hakan?
Do you have an iron fist
under that velvet glove?
I have so many things
under that glove.
You'll see.
I managed to turn
the romantic prince Hakan Altun...
...into a psychopathic debt-collector.
How did I manage that?
Hold on.
Let me start at the beginning.
"Mad Love"
"The Biggest Maras Ice Cream
in the World"
This is me. Ekrem.
I am a simple ice cream seller.
People say that you shouldn't mix
your work life with your love life.
A cute kid showed up.
Don't do that.
I'll make a sandwich for you later.
But there is nothing I love more than
mixing work and love.
For example,
I will break a record...
...by making the biggest ice cream
in the world.
I'll dedicate that record
to my girlfriend and propose to her.
You see? If you know how to mix them,
it is the perfect mix.
Here comes the officer!
The book of records!
I can hear you all ask,...
..."how are we going to propose,
if you raise the bar so high".
I pretend not to hear you.
The secret for a happy marriage is
turning a deaf ear to some things.
I love you, Adana!
Look who is here!
Our esteemed mayor!
I slept in front of the mayor's house
for 37 days to convince him.
But it turned out that
it wasn't his house.
The man agreed right away.
Adana wouldn't mind
clapping for our mayor once more.
Here is Nese,
my girlfriend of eight years.
This whole circus is for her.
For the mother of our future children
Pirilsu ve Ebu Muhittin.
Yes, Ekrem.
You will break a record
by making the biggest Maras ice cream.
What do you think?
I don't think much.
If I think too much, I'll go nuts.
Yeah.
Hakan Altun is here too!
-Hello.
Mr. Altun,
are you here to support him?
It is the most important duty of artists
like us, to support young lovers.
Hakan, please.
The spotlight is mine today.
Today is not all about the record
for me, dear citizens.
It's a very special day.
While this heart-shaped ice cream
melts in the Adana heat,...
...so does my heart
when I see a certain person.
Kick it, Hakan.
I am asking you:
Will you marry me?
My dear Nese, the joy of my life.
You are my world,...
...I am your moon,
orbiting around you 365 days a year.
I opened my eyes with you.
So, let me close them with you.
Nese...
I am asking you
the most meaningful question of my life.
Will you marry me?
-No.
-Hit the drums! Blow the clarinet!
Mr. Mayor, the wedding is on you!
I'm getting married, man!
I'm getting married!
Ekrem, I said no!
Don't you get it? No!
She said no.
No? Why?
And you're asking why?
Look at all this.
You even turned the proposal
into a show about yourself!
There is only you
at the center of your life, Ekrem.
Everything is about you!
-There is also Hakan Altun, my love.
-To hell with Hakan Altun!
You've never cared about me, Ekrem.
You've never cared about
what I like or not.
You are a lazy, selfish and
inconsiderate man!
I've had enough, Ekrem.
It's over.
You are covered with hearts,
but you have no heart, Adana.
I am so desperate right now.
I don't know what to do.
Eko, if you ask me,
the best thing to do now...
...would be paying me.
-Hakan.
I can't see any humanity
in front of me right now.
-You are being rude, Eko.
-No, I'm not. This is my normal self.
If you act like this,
you will lose me too.
Go away, Hakan.
Go, for God's sake.
I thought you were a love expert,...
...but you turned out to be
an economics professor.
Leave, for God's sake.
You will pay for this, Ekrem.
Can I pay with a credit card, Hakan?
-The ice cream is melting, pal.
-What can I do, put it into the fridge?
You said that you were going to
serve it. The kids are waiting.
I am on the verge of
a nervous breakdown here.
What kind of empathy
or sympathy is this?
Dude. This is Adana.
Don't make me cut your ear off!
Everybody at home
is licking stones out of hunger!
Get up! Serve the ice cream!
-We are back to ice cream again!
To hell with your ice cream!
That damn ice cream!
Why is it such a big deal?
-Shut up!
You are all evil, rude, heartless.
You kick me while I'm down,...
...as if you have never listened
to a love song or fallen in love!
The ice cream!
The ice cream what? Are you
the Tasmanian Devil or something?
The ice cream is melting!
Serve it already!
To hell with you and your ice cream!
What the hell is this?
The ice cream is falling!
Run! Run!
Oh, God!
Dear God!
Look at where we ended up!
A heart-shaped ice cream
will be a grave for people!
Get me out! I am freezing!
Someone call a search and rescue team!
Call Nasuh Mahruki!
People are freezing to death!
Hold on. You can't lift that.
It weighs three tons.
Eat it! Tuck into it!
It's the only way!
Be careful!
Don't lick each other!
For the first time
in the history of Adana,...
...someone was going to
freeze to death.
I was devastated.
I felt horrible.
Everyone in sight
was licking each other.
Luckily, no lives were lost
in this disaster.
But most of those people couldn't
look each other in the eye anymore.
Where were you, partner?
My life is ruined.
I thought we were besties for life.
Yes, we are, but that doesn't mean
I have to be there...
...on the most important day
of your life.
Besides, I watched everything.
-Where?
You are all over YouTube. Here.
-What is the most liked comment?
-That one made me laugh.
"Look at this guy. If milk saw him,
it would turn into yoghurt by itself."
Don't take that stuff seriously.
Kids write those.
No, Hakan Altun wrote it! Look!
-God damn you, Hakan!
-That guy...
We talked about this, right, honey?
We both knew that
she would dump him.
Is that so, lady?
I'd like to ask you something
if you don't mind.
Who the hell are you?
She is Melodi,
my girlfriend of 4,5 years.
Melodi? 4,5 years?
Why didn't you introduce us?
I was madly jealous of her.
I didn't introduce her
to any of my friends.
One day, I was reading her messages...
We get it. When did you meet?
Where was I back then?
Partner, do you remember?
We used to be really poor.
My mom worked in cotton fields
so that I could go to school.
I didn't like that.
I went home one day.
We yelled at each other.
Mom, I don't want you to work in
cotton fields to send me to school.
From now on, I'll be the one working.
You can go to school if you want.
I thought she wouldn't agree,
but my cheeky mother immediately did.
She became a student at the age of 50.
So, I had to work in the cotton fields.
I was working for a living,...
...while Melodi, the boss's spoiled
daughter, had her eyes on me.
You know how I look while I pick cotton.
My legs are exposed.
All kinds of slips fly around.
I felt Melodi's lustful eyes on me,
but couldn't really believe it.
She was the daughter of a rich family,
and I was a mere cotton farmer.
Snow White!
Is your mother a bee?
No, she is from Adana, Pozalti.
Why do you ask?
Because all I see is honey.
One day, Melodi lost her cool,
and drove me into a corner.
Before I could say anything,...
...she made me hers in the cotton field
numerous times.
She picked my cotton, you see?
I felt so dirty, lying in the cotton.
But Melodi seduced me
with expensive gifts.
She knew how to spoil me.
I was really spoiled.
Cotton trader Mr. Ziya, Melodi's father,
heard of our relationship.
He yelled at me,
told me to stay away from his daughter.
Are you trying to bribe me
to break up with her?
What bribe are you talking about?
Idiot!
Get out! Don't you dare to talk to
my daughter without getting rich first.
No!
Money became a wall
between Melodi and me.
I had to get rich as soon as possible.
I tried everything to get rich,
but I couldn't.
Since I couldn't get rich,
I burnt down their cotton fields.
They became poor.
Problem solved.
Her once-rich father is now a beggar.
He can barely find anything to eat.
This is the most touching
and epic story I've ever heard.
Eko, you have been staring at that ring
for an hour now. What is it for?
I had thought of every detail.
It was the perfect wedding for Nese.
All that preparation and effort
was for nothing!
He says the ring will go to waste.
You're thinking what I'm thinking?
Let's get married,
so that it won't go to waste.
Okay.
How about eating some chicken first?
We shouldn't get married
on an empty stomach.
Are you trying to
drive me mad or something?
I had been preparing that proposal
for the last six months.
So what? Are you depressed
over a simple girl? Is that it?
Princess!
Me?
What can a girl possibly do to me?
I won't be devastated
over a simple girl.
I have been to hell and back.
How can a girl devastate me?
For God's sake.
You two are so cute.
I am over Nese.
It's done and gone.
It's her loss, not mine.
I love life. I love living.
Yo know what they say...
Let the cash burn instead of you.
Birds, flowers, bugs...
I am so happy!
He jumped.
He didn't have a good life.
If you don't live a good life,
you end up committing suicide.
Eko! Eko!
Eko! I yelled through all the holes.
Where is he?
Eko!
Honey, what if he
commited suicide again? Eko!
For God's sake.
We were the last ones to see him.
If he killed himself,
we will be considered witnesses.
We'd get in trouble.
That's what I'm scared of.
Otherwise,
I wouldn't give a damn.
Should we call a locksmith or something?
Ekrem isn't worth that much.
Stand aside.
I will handle this.
What have you done, honey?
You ruined my outfit.
I've just put this on.
-There is no one home. Let's go.
-Let's go.
-Ow!
-There is someone at the door.
Get over here.
At this hour?
Who could it be?
Who is it?
-It's me.
-Who is "me"?
-Ekrem.
-Which Ekrem?
-The one whose door you've just broken.
Eko!
Ekrem came over!
It's Ekrem.
Dear God. Eko?
Are you the special forces or something?
What kind of an entrance is that?
I don't know.
Come on in. Welcome.
Sorry about the mess.
I am closing the door.
It's getting cold in here.
Look at this mess.
What are you doing?
Nese's feet are big too,
just like yours.
You nutcase...
Let me prepare something to eat.
I'll give you two some space to talk.
Where is the kitchen, sweetie?
You are sitting right next to it.
Oh, an open kitchen.
Alright.
She is not coping well with poverty.
Ekrem, I am about to get pissed.
Pull yourself together. What is this?
Look at the house.
It's filled with trash.
You look like hell.
The beard and...
You damn nutcase.
Why are you wearing a fake beard?
I wanted to see
if I would look good with a beard.
Honey, can I have a word with you
in the kitchen?
What will we talk about now?
Honey, the guy is depressed.
Can't you see?
Your amateur efforts
can't solve this issue.
He needs professional help.
-Professional help...
Are you thinking what I am thinking?
-Absolutely.
-This is crazy.
Come on. We have a solution.
We'll go to a brothel.
You need to get laid.
He needs a psychologist.
What will he do,
have sex with the psychologist?
Come on now.
Stand up!
-You are crazy!
-Come on!
Crazy!
Patient 25. Male, in his 30s.
He is suffering from a break-up.
Did you pay the 200 lira fee
in the hall?
-I did.
-Okay, let's begin.
I am having trouble
sleeping at night.
I feel like people are choking me.
-How many people?
-I don't know how many.
I wake up coughing at night.
-Do you smoke?
-I do.
Give me a cigarette.
I'll smoke it while we're talking.
Don't worry. I'm here.
Everything is alright.
What do you recommend?
My wife of 27 years divorced me.
I suffered a lot.
Alcohol became my consolation.
-Really? You too?
How did you quit?
-I didn't. I still drink.
I'm even a little tipsy right now.
-Sir...
-How can I forget her?
-My dear sir.
-It's not easy.
Who shall I consult?
Who shall I consult?
Poor guy.
They say time heals everything.
Look.
Don Johnson has a saying,
but it's in English.
He says: Pump up the jam.
"Pump Up the Jam", by Don Johnson.
-So, do you have a diagnosis for me?
-Of course I do.
If I have to say it in medical terms...
I don't know if you can understand it.
They put a spell on you.
-No!
-Yes. How else is this possible?
You are a great man.
Who would dump you?
It's witchcraft. It can be in your bed,
your workplace, everywhere!
-Who are we dealing with here?
-Don't worry.
I have a world-class method that
I use on every patient. Stand up.
-Dear God. I hope it helps.
-Turn around.
Relax into me.
All of your troubles...
Don't be tense.
You are tense right now.
-Sir...
-All of your troubles.
Pay attention to this sentence:
If you don't think about yourself,
think about your parents!
I don't have parents.
He is not responding
to treatment.
-Who are you talking to?
-My alter ego.
I'll be going now.
What?
-It was the freshener.
The freshener.
I'll be going then.
Go, but where will you go?
Go here.
Give them my name.
If something ever troubles you again,
what will you do?
-I'll call you.
-No, drink it off.
If you drink with your friends, call me.
I'll be freeloading, but I'll join you.
What will you do?
-Go to this place.
Good boy.
Go now.
Idiot.
Welcome!
If you can catch the ice cream,
it is free!
We trust in our skills.
We've had some incidents
that hurt our reputation.
We are trying to start fresh.
Welcome, beautiful princess.
If you catch the ice cream...
Let's go.
-He caught it.
-He took the tongs too.
Did the shrink work?
Do you feel any better?
What kind of psychologist is that?
"Pump up the jam!"
He turned out to be an alcoholic.
He even asked me for a smoke.
There is something there.
What is it?
Hey!
The ice cream isn't melting.
-So? Should I put it in a stove?
-You said that it would melt.
The kids have been licking stones under
that ice cream for the past three days.
For God's sake.
Why do these kids always lick stones?
We have no money!
The expenses are 10000 liras.
I don't have any money either.
I invested a record sum
for that record attempt.
A gentle approach
won't work on you, huh?
I'll haunt you like a ghost, Ekrem!
-This was your gentle approach?
-Ekrem, what is this?
I don't approve of friends like these.
This guy is nothing but Z-list.
What is this?
What was the shrink's diagnosis?
I don't know.
He told me to go this address.
What is that?
"The Knight"
Is it a hot spring or something?
It is a night club.
What kind of a lunatic psychologist...
...would suggest going to a night club
for treatment?
This is the place.
Let's go.
What the hell?
A human-like dinasour!
Good evening.
-How can I help you?
Doctor Sefik sent us here.
We have social insurance.
What is the state discount for it?
If there is none,
we will find a contracted night club.
He is gone. Ekrem?
What is he doing? Loading?
Is he buffering?
Buffering.
We've never had any payment issues here.
-So, it is alternative medicine.
-We have alternatives.
I see. Thanks.
Have a nice day.
Ekrem, let's not lose our heads.
Let's calmly drink and go.
I don't really feel like drinking
anyway. I just want a change of scenery.
The psychologist said that there were
therapeutical fish in here, right?
Do you see any
therapeutical fish here?
I don't know if it is therapeutical,
but I see a whale over there.
We won't drink too much, okay?
Let's just have one and go.
Okay, partner. For God's sake.
We won't drink too much.
When have we ever drunk too much?
"1 Raki + Cheese"
Slow down!
What the hell are you doing?
Can I get another glass of glass?
This thing doesn't go well
without a glass.
What are you doing?
You are eating the glass.
I hope it's not fake.
I don't want to go blind.
"1 Raki + Cheese + 1 Glass"
-Eat this till your order comes then.
-Thanks.
"1 Raki + Cheese + 2 Glasses"
Don't eat it! God damn you.
"3 Rakis + Nuts"
"1 Bottle + A Little Red + A Little Blue"
When you said that pimps beat you up,
I saved you from them!
I saved you from the pimps!
No one saved me from the pimps.
They beat me up.
I took it like a man and went home.
You have no right to insult me, Ekrem!
I saved you from the pimps!
"One Last Glass + Wasted"
You donate lamb skin to the...
...Turkish Aeronautical Association,
the imam gets angry.
You give it to the imam, the Turkish
Aeronautical Association gets angry.
I don't get it.
I can't find an answer.
No more sacrificing animals anymore!
I'm leaving, partner. I'm out.
We saved everyone from the pimps!
When did the world
start to rotate so fast?
How much did we have?
I am so done with the sacrifices!
-Okay, fine by me. Go home.
-Okay. See you. Take care.
My hopes about him paying the check
are leaving with Fuat now.
My friend is in there.
Can I see him?
-Go away!
-Where are my tongs?
Say "cheese".
Go away.
Hey, you!
If you don't want any girls,
pay the check. We're closing.
I don't want to!
Aren't you the guy on YouTube?
The one that proposed?
I felt so sorry for you.
I am Zeynep.
I am Zeynep too.
Are you that drunk?
Good for you.
Are you like this because of that girl?
Poor guy.
Look what she did to you.
Was it worth it?
Of course it was.
It's not Nese's fault.
It's all my fault.
I cause pain.
I always cause pain.
I can't stay strong.
I knew it
the moment I watched that video.
You are different.
You are a pure and decent man.
I prayed God
to help me meet someone like this.
There is no such thing as coincidence.
My heart hurts.
Nese is not with me.
I can't take it anymore.
My life...
...needs Nese.
Your love is beautiful.
Your eyes are smiling.
You are the type
that suffocates a girl with love.
You would spoil her.
You would make her your queen.
I thought that
men like you were extinct.
How did you survive?
You are a lazy, selfish and
inconsiderate man!
If you love her,
don't ever give up.
If Nese sees me like that,...
...I'll show her that I am not
a lazy, selfish and inconsiderate man.
"Lazy, Selfish, Inconsiderate"
I met a beautiful and
lovely girl last night.
She reminded me
how much I love Nese.
I'll win Nese back no matter what.
May God help me.
You have to find a really clever way,
partner.
You know how smart I am.
I made a plan like Illuminati. Look.
-Hello?
-Hello?
-Yeah?
-Hello, miss. I am Nese's best friend.
My name is Polen,
but my friends call me Sindy.
How is Nese?
Is she over the handsome Ekrem?
Don't ask.
Nese is busier than ever.
Her grandfather is in the hospital.
Who did you say you were?
The one who is always there for her
in the worst times.
You prick!
Nese's grandfather
has been hospitalized.
If they need any blood or something,
don't you call me!
I am going to the hospital. The keys are
under the mat. Keep an eye on the stand.
Okay, but I won't give any blood!
My blood is mine.
Why should I give it away?
Eko, be a little cooler.
What does everyone say? They say
that you look like Angelina Jolie.
An ordinary day in the Serengeti.
I love emojis!
Nese!
The Abumubamba monkey
noticed the female.
Look over here!
The male uses his most important weapon
to charm the female.
The courting dance.
With playful dance moves,
he tries to give the female a message:
"I am the strongest male here."
The answer of the female
is pretty clear:
"Poor guy, whoever he is."
But the male is attracted to
a shiny object.
However, an unexpected guest
will be joining this ritual.
Ekrem.
The male is not aware of the danger,
and still is in mating mode.
He will move aside
at the last second.
He will move aside.
He will move aside.
Oh, God!
He couldn't...
Ekrem!
Oh! Hello, Nese.
I'm Ekrem, from high school.
Do you remember me? This is for you.
Ekrem, are you okay?
How do you feel?
-It's okay. I don't feel anything.
As if there is nothing
below my neck.
Now that we've talked about me,
how about you? Did you miss me?
I did, but I am shocked right now.
I missed you too!
But I got hit by a car.
What should we do?
How about dinner?
To catch up, you know.
Not like that, Ekrem! A car hit you!
Can't you see? Look at yourself.
I don't know what to do.
I would suggest calling an ambulance,
but this is an ambulance.
I would suggest going to a hospital,
but it is right there.
I guess modern medicine can't save me.
-How will we get you out of there?
-Don't bother. I'll push myself out.
This is it!
He wiggles like an Adana snake!
-That's all.
-Indeed. Bravo, Ekrem.
You look quite alright.
What can happen to me?
I am from Adana.
An ambulance?
Even a zeppelin can't harm me.
This couldn't have hit me either,...
...but it came from that direction,
so I didn't notice it.
Ekrem, your back...
The sun feels so good right now.
It warms my bones up.
Ew...
You saw my butt and everything,
right Nese?
I really did.
I'll pass out then.
Will you be around for a while?
-That would make sense.
-See you.
What kind of a hospital is this?
They made a smiley on my back!
Ekrem!
Take this away!
Who gave me this?
Ekrem.
What did the doctors say?
Any permanent damage?
-No, it will all heal up by tomorrow.
-Thank God.
They say the only permanent damage
is in my heart.
They identified
a severe break in my heart.
Oh, really?
Is there a cure?
There is, but chances are
1 in 80 million in this country.
I shouldn't have talked to you like that
in front of all those people that day.
I owe you an apology.
We did Hakan Altun wrong.
Forget Hakan Altun.
So what?
You'll make me the biggest ice cream
in the world, and we'll call it even.
Oh, yeah?
Then you would say no to me.
"No, we have to get married first."
That's all I can say to you, Nese.
I had forgot that
you could make me laugh like this.
Let me remind you then.
You were right.
I've changed. I am a totally
different man. Give me a chance.
Baby?
Jeremy?
Ekrem, this is Jeremy.
He is my boyfriend.
Your boyfriend?
"Boyfriend" would fit me
the best, Nese.
Why did you give that title
to someone else?
My love... My love...
We were like Elizabeth Taylor
and Richard Burton.
You are Elizabeth Taylor.
You need a Richard Burton like me.
What is Brad Pitt doing with you?
Ekrem? Ekrem!
Yes, Elizabeth?
Oh! This is your ex-boyfriend Ekrem.
Nice to meet you.
Nese talks about you a lot.
I am Jeremy Jackson.
You Turks still wear a fez?
Yes, we do.
See? A camel rode me.
Jeremy works at the Incirlik Base.
He is an F16 pilot.
-A pilot?
Could you give me
some vanilla ice cream too?
"Could you give me
some vanilla ice cream too?"
Even though he is American,
he's fluent in Turkish.
So you are a soldier.
I've already done my duty.
I can't feel my arm.
Okay, then.
Let's hang out sometime.
Sometime...
Okay, let's hang out.
We are going out for dinner tomorrow.
Would you like to join us?
You go out for dinners too?
Okay, then. I'll go out for dinner
with my own girlfriend tomorrow.
Would you like to come?
-Okay. We would.
-I would too.
Okay, I'll have dinner
with both of you tomorrow.
Separately,
but I'll have a girlfriend too.
Two against two.
It's perfect.
This is not the right way.
The exit is that way.
Two against two.
We'll have a blast.
Two against two.
We'll have a blast.
Damn this contact list!
Not even a single girl!
It looks more like a sausage fest!
Good job, Ekrem, you idiot!
If you act like that,...
...you end up looking for girls
in front of night clubs.
-Will you go inside?
-Will you let me?
-Give it a try. Where is the harm?
-You are right. I'm coming then.
Good evening, sir.
Good evening.
Good evening, sir.
Why did we have to do that?
Good evening, Zeynep.
Zeynep!
-Is there a problem, madam?
-No, it's okay. I'll handle it.
Zeynep, I wanted to thank you
for the other day...
...and treat you to dinner.
How about eating some chicken?
Why?
Are we weasels or something?
Eko, are you insane?
Why would I have dinner with you
just to make your ex jealous?
Please come, Zeynep!
They'll think that I am a liar.
What does it matter?
The girl doesn't want you anyway.
You can't find happiness like this,
you know.
I am saying this
so that you can move on.
I don't want to be happy.
I want to be with Nese.
Look.
I want us to be a couple like them.
They have been in love
for the last 50 years maybe.
It's so obvious that this is a love
that is as vibrant as ever.
Sir! Let me give you some ice cream.
On me.
Alright.
Your wife and you
are such a cute couple.
She is not my wife,
she is my mistress.
We met on Facebook a week ago.
Whatever.
Love has no age limit.
Who said anything about love?
We are just hooking up.
Is that so?
Don't give them any ice cream.
-I've already promised, Zeynep.
Here you go, sir.
And one for the lady.
-No, I'll pass. Thanks.
What is this made of?
Goat milk or cow milk?
-It's my milk.
-I am allergic.
Are you allergic to my milk?
How do you know where my milk is from?
He is dying!
Do something!
How can a cute little goat
do this to a man?
He can't breathe. I need to cut a hole
in his throat. Give me a cone.
Fine, but I'm not taking
any responsibility.
Calm down, sir.
Stay with me.
It's not working.
I broke the man's neck.
That won't work.
Give him mouth to mouth.
Don't use your tongue!
You are making out with him!
Are you a pervert or something?
Madam, did you eat roasted meat today?
I can taste tail fat.
Okay, forget it!
Let them both die! For God's sake!
He is trying to eat me!
Doctor.
Will he live?
-Yes, but he lost his lips.
Oh, no!
You tried to give him mouth to mouth,...
...but ended up making out with
him for half an hour.
"Teeth" went south real quick, doctor.
Here.
You literally
set the tongues wagging Ekrem.
His sour taste is still in my mouth,
Zeynep.
Give me five!
Okay. We had our fun.
Will you come to the dinner with me?
If I'll ever have dinner with you,...
...it won't be
to make someone jealous,...
...it will be because
I want to be alone with you.
Why would I have an alone dinner
with you? I'd get bored.
Do you recognize me, Ekrem?
-Hakan Altun.
-No.
It's Hakan Altun Whose Money
You Still Haven't Payed.
Are you expecting any payments?
-No, I am not.
But I am.
So that's how they get rich!
It was just some lip-syncing.
God knows what he would have wanted
if he had sung live.
What did you just say?
Lip-syncing?
-I didn't say anything, sir.
-Don't you dare.
Godspeed and God bless you, Hakan.
The guy is an F-16 pilot.
Like that's not enough,
he is the Adana version of Brad Pitt.
What kind of bad luck is that?
What is my sin?
Did I steal bread
from an orphan or something?
You are exaggerating, partner.
-Do you know how I look next to him?
-How?
You know the one next to Tarik Akan
in "Hababam Sinifi"?
-Kemal Sunal?
-Adile Nasit!
Okay, calm down.
I have a solution.
We'll go and kick his butt.
Done and gone. It's your turn.
How? Will we attack
the F-16 with kebab blades?
They would bring democracy to our asses!
-For God's sake! Fine then.
Don't have dinner with them.
Switch off your phone and run! Play now!
No way. Then they would think that
I am dishonest, spineless and shallow.
You are.
Sure, but there is no need for him
to know me that well.
Come on, play.
Why are we playing backgammon
in front of some random shop?
What should we play with
only two people? Bridge?
My love.
-Baby. It won't work.
Hi, honey.
The guy offers only 1000 liras
for Ekrem's crappy ring.
What?
Are you selling my ring? Why?
We'll use the money
for butt lifting surgery.
Melodi, you already have a boyfriend.
Why would you need butt lifting surgery?
My butt is already perfect.
Fuat will have the surgery.
-So perfect.
-What am I hearing, Fuat?
I am not happy with my butt, partner.
At the wedding...
-I couldn't help myself.
-Who can?
I want it to be a little bigger
at the wedding.
A little more aesthetic,
more defined.
Forget about my ass for now.
How will we save your ass?
Melodi, we need to set Ekrem up
with a girl immediately.
Native or foreigner?
Native is better.
The spare parts would be easier to find.
What is she saying?
Make it a foreigner.
Out of spite.
You're right. A foreigner.
There is...
-Not anymore, there isn't.
-There is Carol.
-Let me see. Is she ugly?
-No, she is the bomb.
She is like a meteor.
She's out of my league.
-Leave that to me.
-Okay then.
-Hello.
-Thank you.
Oh my God! A Regata!
It runs on LPG.
I like it.
She is spraying the car.
Isn't Mr. Ekrem coming?
Mr. Ekrem has come.
Mr. Ekrem is here right now.
Hello, I am Mr. Ekrem.
Did you assume that
I was his driver?
No, I knew that you were Ekrem.
I wanted to humiliate you
to be one step ahead.
You heartless woman!
Give me a light.
I don't have a lighter.
It's burning.
My youth is burning.
Oh!
Thank you, baby.
Baby? What baby?
I drank turnip juice and
and ate tripe last night.
Have you ever seen
a baby like that?
The best babies eat tripe.
You are like ice cream.
Cold, but sweet.
It's so lonely in the back seat.
Come to the front seat.
Oh my God.
I would touch them but...
Yeah, let's go.
Oh, shit.
Oh my God.
Come on. Let's go.
-Would you like some music, ma'am?
-I would, man.
But I only listen to rap music.
Do you like rap music?
Sure.
It is your folk music, right?
What do you listen to?
50 Cent?
Oh, shit!
I hate it.
They are so lame.
I only listen to this now.
Give me the cable.
The cable?
The cable... And listen.
-You are quite the Apache.
-Yeah, Native American!
I like you. I really do.
I like you too.
I have two friends expecting us.
Would that be an issue?
When we are kissing?
What am I hearing?
Tonight will be perfect!
I hope so.
Thanks.
Ekrem.
Have you brought me here
to show off to your friends?
Of course not.
-If you did, I'll go freshen up.
-Of course I did!
Remember.
We will make your friends
pay the check.
Exactly.
Do you have stuffed grape leaves?
It's my favorite dish.
-Good night. Good night.
-Good night?
Don't think that I've come alone
just because I am alone right now.
My girlfriend is in the bathroom.
When she saw you two,
she decided to remove her make-up...
...so that you won't feel bad
about your looks.
I knew this was coming.
Ekrem, I don't want this night to
go on like this, or we'll all be sad.
What can I say?
I am happy.
This woman
makes me feel like a goddess.
She says that
I am a man to worship.
She says that I am an object of
sexual desire! Me! I can't believe it!
Here comes the queen of my heart.
Here.
Hello.
-Mom?
-Son?
What?
-Mom?
-Son?
-Hey!
-Fuck!
Nese, how dare you date
my girlfriend's son? Aren't you ashamed?
Do you think the age gap between
Carol and Ekrem would be an issue?
No. Why would it?
How old is Carol?
51 is Nigde's plate number.
It'll be okay.
My love!
How can you be so hot at 51, auntie?
Turks have a beautiful saying.
"A small chicken
will always be a chick."
Oh, God! My ex-girlfriend
is becoming my father-in-law.
Won't you say something, Jeremy?
I am in a relationship with your mom
in front of everybody!
Of course I won't be quiet
in this situation.
-Good boy.
-Congratulations, mommy!
You won't sleep alone in your cold bed
anymore. Ekrem is here.
But Jeremy,
I have a special request from you.
Come home a little late tonight.
Ekrem and I have things to do.
What things are you talking about?
We don't have any things!
I am a thing-free!
Of course, mommy.
I'll stay at Nese's then.
Right, Nese?
Staying at Nese's?
Dear God, I turned myself into a pimp
with my own hands!
You can't stay at my house, Jeremy.
No way.
Why?
Bravo, Nese.
You've won me over.
Ekrem!
Come with me for a second.
-Okay.
-Come.
-Sorry, madam.
Ekrem. What are you trying to do?
What's your aim?
What?
I am living my life.
Can't I have a foreign girlfriend?
What happened?
Did I exceed my foreigner quota?
Why do you have to live your life
with my boyfriend's mother?
Should I live it with his father, then?
"Father".
Mommy, look.
It sounds really good.
"Father".
Father Ekrem.
Daddy.
Ekrem, my dear father.
He is a grown man,
but whenever he calls me father,...
...I feel it in my heart!
-Don't be ridiculous, Ekrem!
Get back to the table
and solve this issue. Now!
Okay. I'll take care of it.
Don't worry.
I have to make something
very clear.
I have some explaining to do.
I don't approve of their relationship,
as Jeremy's father!
What the hell?
I don't approve of your relationship,
as Ekrem's ex-girlfriend!
She said "ex-girlfriend".
It may be "ex", but she still
considers herself my girlfriend.
I will never approve of anything
that Nese doesn't approve of.
Sorry, auntie! Game over.
Right.
Goodbye, Ekrem.
But this is your loss.
If you're ever curious about
our sexual chemistry,...
...my door is always open for you.
Come on, baby.
Follow me.
Close that door, auntie.
You will catch a cold.
I'll be there in a second.
What kind of a man are you, Ekrem?
I know that
you don't want to see me again, Nese.
Kind of.
I would see you,
but whose mother will you bring next?
I'll find someone.
There are so many moms out there.
Just keep seeing me, okay?
-Okay.
I am the only woman
who would look at your face anyway.
I want you to be the only woman
who would look at my face.
Well done, by the way.
You worked hard and actually
found someone. Good job.
What do you mean?
That I am not lazy?
That I am not a lazy guy anymore?
You're not.
I actually like the fact that...
...you tried to win me over
with these tricks.
Yes!
Waiter, give the check
to that lady in red.
Catch her before she leaves.
First level complete.
Laziness.
"Lazy"
Next up is selfishness.
You will see that I am not selfish.
I will condemn you to myself.
What are you talking about, Ekrem?
Have you gone mad?
How am I going to prove that
I am not selfish?
You are selfish.
You called me here to make you
five different kinds of desserts...
...so that your head works better,
and yet, you are talking to the walls.
How can I make myself look
not selfish then?
Help the girl
without expecting anything in return.
That's it.
I don't get it, Zeynep.
Give me a proper example.
Me, for instance.
You called me over and I came.
Does being here benefit me in anyway?
-You sure love praising yourself.
"I am beautiful, I am lovely.
I am a princess, I am so sweet."
You piled up all of these dishes.
What will happen now?
You can't be asking me
to wash them too, Ekrem.
Then let's arm wrestle.
The loser washes the dishes.
You are a guy.
You would beat me.
That depends, Zeynep.
Maybe I'll lose on purpose.
-Okay then. Let's try.
-Come on.
That's it! I won!
Why would I lose on purpose?
Wash the dishes, sucker!
How about that?
This guy is an idiot.
Born and raised idiot.
Lovable, but an idiot.
The number one idiot.
What about that?
I even made a remix of it.
You will wash everything!
Nese is calling!
Hello?
This can't be happening.
I'm coming right away.
What happened?
Nese's grandfather died!
Yes!
This is the chance
I've been looking for! Perfect!
I must go.
Take this too. I'm leaving. Bye.
Nese isn't even pretty.
She is an empty shell
of a woman.
I wanted to spend some time with him,
and she just took it away.
We couldn't do anything.
She ruined the mood.
Could we find yellow tulips
for my grandfather's grave?
Of course.
Hold these, blondie.
Dear God!
This is the worst day of my life.
I couldn't hold my tears
while I was coming here.
God!
Losing a grandfather
is the biggest loss of all.
Dear God, I am not questioning
your judgement,...
...but why do good people
always die so early?
My grandfather Bahattin
was 94 years old.
But his head was fine.
He was such a wise person.
He had Alzheimer's.
He thought I was his wife.
He was happy with Alzheimer's though.
He was running around so happily.
My grandfather was bedridden
for the last six months, Ekrem.
I am glad he is dead then!
Screw him! He kicked the bucket!
For God's sake!
Let's say that God saved him.
He didn't have to suffer anymore.
If I had known he was suffering,
I would have killed him myself, Nese.
Thanks, Ekrem!
God bless you!
Why are you here, atheist?
For you, he is just gone. Pouf!
I am not an atheist, Ekrem.
I am an agnostic.
I don't care about anyone's religion.
You be agnostic, I'll be bombastic.
We are all Muslims after all.
Nice speech, Ekrem.
Did you buy food?
Yes, it cost 432 liras.
Let me pass them out.
Our traditions demand this.
We don't serve our mother
as a gift like you.
Hello, madam!
Do you remember me?
I saw you at the market,
thought you were Nese,...
...and I pinched your butt.
You slapped me, and I ran.
Ekrem, why do you keep
reminding me of that?
Come here.
-My condolences.
-Thanks.
If you had behaved, we wouldn't have to
be dealing with that foreign boy now.
It's not my place to talk about
Nese's new relationship.
But Jeremy is a total jerk.
I have been here for only a minute,
and I am already giving out food.
If it was up to him,
he would have served waffles.
Well said!
You are right.
We would pray for the dead,
while he would sing...
..."Annie, are you okay"
by Michael Jackson.
You are right.
We would do good deeds to make
Judgement Day better for him,...
...and Jeremy would have a bubble party
to make his night better.
He would.
We would refuse to
wash our mother-in-law's underwear,...
...he would say
"grandmother, no more cry, shit"...
Enough with the examples!
You're giving me a headache!
Forgive me. You just don't know
what to say in these situations.
For example, I didn't know what to say
at my grandfather's funeral.
So I just sang
a really inappropriate song.
There is no man in the house
to handle this stuff.
What do you mean?
I am here!
Take this food.
Serve it.
They can be thieves and stuff.
Let me take care of everything.
Everyone is expecting the guests
to come in on their own.
You have to press high up on the pitch.
My condolences.
We heard that there is a dead guy here.
Take the halvah.
Are you detectives?
Funeral services.
We are here to take him
to the morgue.
So you are "morganizers".
-Can we see the deceased?
-Let me show you.
A small loss for the world,
but a big loss for our family.
Look at how peaceful he looks.
-Was he always like this?
-No, he used to be alive.
No, I mean
was he a peaceful and calm guy?
How should I know?
I didn't know him.
Let's search him.
To make sure there are
no valuables on him.
Are we going to search him?
Dear Lord...
Look at this.
He made a bet.
You are dead now.
How will you answer for this?
When the angels ask you
if you've prayed or fasted,...
...will you say
"no, but I bet on a big game"?
Right.
I also bet that
Adana won't lose tonight's match.
It's Fenerbahce and Kasimpasa
who are playing.
So, Adana won't lose! How could they?
They won't even be on the field.
Whatever.
Bring the coffin, son.
Yeah. Let's be quick.
He is small, but disgusting. Fast.
Be more synchronised.
Think of it as a Viking boat.
Quickly!
Don't block the dead!
He was 94 years old!
He never received the care he deserved
because he had Alzheimer's!
He is dead now!
Please.
Where are you going?
We will exit through the balcony door.
This wouldn't go through the front door.
Can't you see that?
Dear grandpa! He loved me so much.
He would want me to make him ice cream.
Dad!
Who would have known that
you would leave this house so quietly?
God!
In the name of God!
Hayriye, is this real?
Slap me!
Slap me! Hit me...
I'll take that hand and...
Don't panic.
Everybody, stay where you are.
There has to be
a reasonable explanation for this.
It is clear that
God has given back the life He took!
Our dead grandfather
was resurrected!
Thank you, dear God...
-What is going on?
Uncle Nazim!
Uncle Nazim,
what happened to you?
I had a toothache.
I fell asleep.
Which idiot did this?
I beg your pardon, miss.
Please don't call us idiots.
It was that idiot.
You sly bastard!
You slander me in front of the dead!
Who are you working for?
Whose hired pen are you?
Say it!
Since you are talking nonsense,
it was you, Ekrem.
Miss, he took a coupon from his pocket.
Check his pocket.
For God's sake.
They put him among us. He is an agent.
Would I do something like that?
Please...
Ekrem, spit it out.
Ekrem! Ekrem!
He swallowed it.
I never lie.
Believe me when I say it.
-It is here.
-Oh! I swallowed the electricity bill.
Uncle Nazim, is this your coupon?
This is mine.
My coupon.
What? Couldn't I have filled
the exact same coupon?
Is he the only one
who can bet on football games?
No.
You don't care about the coupon,
you just want to bury Ekrem.
Here!
What is this?
Everybody is messing with me.
It seems
I stepped on some nerves.
Wow, man!
"Ekrem this", "Ekrem that"!
Look at this.
Whoever is sinless here
can shove the first cotton up my butt.
My coffin is about to become my grave.
We don't have any other coffins.
Don't worry.
He'll get out when his show is done.
I need some fresh air.
I am asking you:
Will you marry me?
I thought about it a lot.
It's my final decision.
Damn it, Hakan.
Where is my money?
Hakan, I am in a coffin right now.
For God's sake, look.
Look at it. It's all coffin.
I am a dead to you now.
Ekrem, I don't care.
Dead or alive... I want my money.
Hakan, does the shroud have any pockets?
How will I pay your money?
For God's sake. Go away!
Don't hang up!
-My condolences, everybody!
-Health and prosperity to all of you!
Is that Fuat's voice?
What's going on here?
Would you like some food, Fuat?
Oh, God!
Eko, did you die?
Eko is dead!
He is so cute!
-What the hell are you doing here?
-We are getting engaged today!
We decided to spoil ourselves a little,
and eat outside.
Are you mad?
If Nese sees you, she will kill me.
Why should we care?
She will only kill you.
They'll never back down.
Make it quick at least.
Please!
Sir, try to be
as quick as possible please.
Let's see what
the mother-in-law...
...bought for
her beautiful daughter-in-law.
Mom, open it up.
-I bought beautiful stuff for her.
A red thong for the lady.
A frilly thong.
A thong with bells.
A...
-Stop it please.
Have you bought
only weird underwear for her?
I've never had any daughters!
I bought some for you,
but you never wore them!
Bless your taste, my dear mother!
I'll always think of you every time
I wear them and take them off.
Oh, dear.
Come on now.
You will make me cry too.
They will think that I am crying
for the deceased or something.
This isn't second hand, right?
I rubbed it on my face.
Whatever.
It's time for the groom's gifts.
Dad, show them.
I am really excited right now.
I'll show them.
A red thong.
Oh!
We got the same presents.
And some real batteries!
Nutcase.
A good quality basin.
What is this, Melodi?
He put together whatever he could find
in the dumpster and brought it here.
Don't say that.
You are making him sad.
What is this?
The groom's gift or a recycling box?
Shame on you!
Nese.
What is Ekrem doing there?
-Ekrem?
-Nese.
Be quick!
Gather everything!
Nese and Jeremy are coming!
Be quick!
Ekrem!
What are you doing there?
It's occupied!
Ekrem!
Don't piss me off!
Open the door!
Honey, let me open it.
Oh, God!
What's going on here?
-Words can't help me now, Nese.
-Get the hell out! Now!
All of you!
Look here, young lady!
We all lose our grandfathers.
None of us
make a show out of it.
My cotton fields burned down.
My father became a beggar.
I know what pain is.
Have I ever complained about it, honey?
-Never.
I never have.
High five.
I wish you happiness.
No, sorry.
My condolences.
We showed her!
-Indeed we did.
I wish the young couple
happiness.
What? Couldn't I have filled
the same coupon?
Everybody sure loves to
lash out at Ekrem.
I can't hear you!
The ears don't work.
They are just for show.
They are beautiful.
They look great on you.
You accessorized yourself
just like a bride.
My condolences.
There is an important issue.
Can I talk with a sensible person
from the family?
After the last incident, no one
in the family is sensible anymore.
So, talk to me please.
-As you see, I am pregnant.
I don't know
if you have noticed.
I don't judge
people's apperances.
So I didn't notice it.
-Whatever.
This child's father is
the deceased Bahattin.
Holy shit!
You took the words
out of my mouth.
What are you saying?
Our love was epic.
He was 94 years old.
The only epicness you can live with him
is the Epic of Gilgamesh.
I knew you would react
to our relationship this way.
Here is the proof.
This is not epic.
This is a fetish show.
Bahattin is dead.
If you don't give me 20000 liras, I will
humiliate you in front of everybody.
I don't know what to call
what you are doing right now.
It's blackmail.
Now, I know it.
Let me discuss this with the family.
This ice cream seller is a pure idiot.
Let's rip him off.
He will fall for it.
He is a sucker.
Dad...
Hello. Did you remember me?
I fondled you at the market...
Ekrem, we can handle the rest.
Go now.
He was so fatherly
to everyone.
He didn't need to be
that fatherly!
Nese.
-What is it now?
We have an issue.
An issue that can give birth
to a bigger issue.
Weren't we humiliated enough?
Ekrem, I am begging you.
If you love me just a little,
don't embarrass us anymore.
I love you so much.
Don't worry. I'll take care of
everything all by myself.
Open this door!
Sorry.
-How did Bahattin seduce you?
-What is it to you?
-Hello.
-What does the family council say?
The family council
doesn't have enough members right now.
Fine then.
I'll tell everybody.
-Please stop.
I swear I'll give you the money
after the funeral tomorrow.
Can I trust you?
You trusted a 94-year-old guy
and got pregnant,...
...and you won't trust me now?
Fair enough. Fine then.
See you tomorrow.
Where will I find 20000 liras?
Nese.
I asked for a grave big enough to take
two and a half Uncle Nazims...
...as an apology
for the way I behaved yesterday.
You, your mother, Uncle Nazim...
You can bury anyone in there.
The digger is still here.
I can make them dig from here
to Konya if you want.
This is not a construction site, Ekrem!
We are in a graveyard!
-What is that idiot saying?
-He's just mouthing off.
Did you say Jeremy Jackson?
Which reminds me...
I didn't say "Jeremy Jackson".
You said it now.
Where is that rascal?
I had the grave dug,
he is not even here.
Where will you ever find
someone like me again?
What is that? A plane?
-Look.
Don't take it.
Bastard!
He is showing off.
Three shots for your grandfather, Nese.
Ready. Aim. Fire!
Ready. Aim. Fire!
Ready. Aim. Fire!
You'll pay for this, Jeremy Jackson!
Putting on a show at a funeral?
Are we in Tesvikiye Mosque or something?
What was that all about, Jeremy?
Jeremy Jackson.
After the imam finishes praying,...
...we applaud him
for his unique performance.
Just so you know.
Is that so? Okay, Ekrem.
Thank you for telling me.
Thanks.
Why did you come?
Why are you here? Leave!
Nese, I saw a friend of mine.
I'll be right back.
Don't bury the deceased
before I return.
Ekrem, what are you doing?
Do you have the money?
Hold your horses. I'm dying over here.
I'll give it after the funeral.
Let's pray!
Bravo!
Really wonderful.
Bravo imam. Congratulations.
It was beautiful.
Really. Wonderful. Bravo imam.
Congratulations. Super.
Jeremy, what are you doing?
Amen!
Shame!
If we brought this guy to the mosque,
he would tango there.
Nese, Ekrem told me to do that.
He said you always do it.
God forbid!
He is putting the blame on me.
Would they believe you
or me, their own child?
People,
would I say something like that?
-You would.
-You would.
They believed you.
Congratulations, Lawrence of Arabia.
Once again, you made a mess.
Whatever. Enough already.
Bring the deceased.
Look!
I want the money now.
Everybody thinks that
you are a liar!
Do you think that
I have the money on me or something?
I am not saying anything because
this is your boyfriend's funeral...
...but don't make me mad!
-You asked for it.
Everybody, hear me out!
I'll confess something.
The father of my unborn child is...
Ekrem, If you love me just a little,
don't embarrass us anymore.
-It's me.
-What?
Yes, I am the father of this child.
It's me.
It's my child.
Oh, God!
Ekrem, how could you do this to me?
Shame on you.
Sure, you care about that,
not that I'm in a grave.
Nese, it is not like that.
I can explain.
It's coming! It's coming!
It's coming!
-She's giving birth!
Ekrem, do something!
Do what?
What can I do?
Give me something useful.
Are we making bread or something?
What am I supposed to do
with a shovel?
The baby will be born in a grave!
Is he Benjamin Button or something?
Oh, God! What shall I do?
What can I possibly do?
I've never even seen
a woman before.
What the hell are you doing?
You are not a doctor!
She found out that I'm not a doctor!
Auntie, you deliver the child!
Shoo! Shoo!
Get me out of here! Please!
I'm scared!
You left me all alone in here!
Did I die or something?
Enough!
The baby will be born in a grave!
Is this a sign of the apocalypse?
Nese, does Ekrem know
what he is doing?
Give me tweezers.
I'll pull the baby out with them.
There is a head coming out.
It's disgusting!
Ekrem, don't push it in.
Pull it towards yourself.
Give me something!
A cloth, water, anything...
Thank you.
I was sweating like hell.
Give me another one!
Should I put the baby in a sweaty cloth?
This child will keep
our grandfather's name alive.
This child's name will be Bahattin!
But it's a girl.
Then our grandfather's name
will be buried with him.
Let's name her Bengisu.
My late grandmother's name.
Congrats, Ekrem.
May God give her a happy life.
Nese, it is not like that.
Listen to me.
Stop talking, Ekrem.
You are making it worse.
Fine then.
Shall I say whose baby is it then?
-Whose?
-Your grandfather.
-Get out of here!
-You are going too far, Ekrem.
Couldn't you come up
with a better lie?
This is too much.
-Talking behind the dead's back.
Pregnant women, children...
What is next, damn fraud?
Elders and veterans?
Ekrem.
I owe you an apology.
I never thought that
the woman could be a fraud.
And I never thought that
the photos could be doctored.
I owe you an apology as well.
-Can you forgive me?
Only God can forgive.
What are you saying?
Is that atheist Jeremy
teaching you this stuff?
Forget about Jeremy.
Listen to me.
As long as you hold my hands like this,
I can listen to you for an eternity.
You put yourself through so much
just because of a thing I said.
For a moment,
I thought that you cheated on me.
But I knew that
you'd never do that to me.
You are loyal to your love,
but I was in shock for a moment.
Do you still think that I am selfish?
You are the most selfish
guy in the world.
Not!
Yes!
Ekrem, you'll come to
my birthday, right?
When was your birthday?
-So you forgot it.
-Was it this date?
They say that tattoos don't have a place
in our faith.
So I have this rewritten every month.
Do you remember the times
when we took coach rides?
I've never forgotten them.
It was beautiful.
We were beautiful.
"Selfishness"
Nese invited me to her birthday.
I only have "inconsideration"
left on the list, Zeynep.
Once I deal with that,
Nese will be mine.
It's always Nese this and Nese that.
Can't we just be done with it?
Did you call me
for the Nese issue again?
-Yeah.
-She is not even worth all this.
She is nothing
but an empty beauty.
If Nese's beauty has charmed you,
imagine her in the bathroom.
Why should I? Idiot!
You imagine that!
Don't call me again
if you will talk about Nese.
Zeynep, don't go.
You are my only friend, bro.
Maybe I don't want to be friends with
you. Don't you understand that?
I don't!
What do you want to be then?
My uncle?
She forgot her purse.
She'll come back.
Eko, can you give me my purse?
Do we know each other?
Sorry, I couldn't recognize you.
Fine!
If you want to be seen considerate, give
her a gift that her boyfriend can't.
You heartless girl!
You couldn't resist me again!
What shall I give her?
A gift that he can't give.
Should I send Nese to Hajj?
My head hurts today.
-Please kick your father out.
-Why, honey?
I want to have
your cardboard babies.
You are upsetting my father.
The walls' color faded out.
Kick him out!
He is my father.
Fine, he is your father.
Did I say he's your mother?
-What is that noise?
-Take him out. He stinks.
You are crazy.
Let me check it out.
You stay here.
Take it off. I can't stand you
while you stink like that.
-Good morning, Ziya.
-Good morning, Ekrem.
-What's up, Melodi?
-Nothing. It's an ordinary morning.
-Good morning, Fuat.
-Good morning.
-Fuat, the house is full of life.
-Thank God.
Fuat, why is this house
so full of life?
Their house got foreclosed, Ekrem.
They were living in a tent,
but the police burnt it down.
Are you such a heartless prick that
you won't take them in, Ekrem?
-Why don't you take them in then?
-I am a heartless prick!
I am off to work.
How do I look?
You look amazing, dad.
Like wine that has aged too much.
God damn it.
I look amazing.
Who would give money
to a beggar who looks like this?
Nobody.
Honey, let's rip his clothes apart.
God!
They have nothing left to lose.
If I were to throw them out,
they would stab me.
Let's get to the business of
inconsideration.
I'll show Nese
how considerate I am.
I'll give her an amazing gift.
Give her something
that has sentimental value.
A poem, for example.
I'll show her what a thoughtful,
well-behaved, graceful...
...and artistic ice cream seller I am.
I'll buy her a used car.
-Will you buy a car?
-A used car.
Wouldn't accepting that gift
make Nese a simple and shallow girl?
I am counting on that.
I'll only rent the car for a day,
but Nese will be mine forever.
He tore it so good!
Honey!
-Done.
Happy birthday, Nese!
Happy birthday, Nese!
Happy birthday!
Happy birthday!
Happy birthday, Nese!
Hold on!
Don't blow them yet.
-Should I make a wish?
-No.
Since we are all here together,...
...let's pray for those
who are not with us today...
...and Nese's esteemed grandfather.
El Fatiha!
Atheist, you can recite "Das Kapital".
Amen!
Nese, if you called these people
to the memorial service,...
...none of them would come.
But I made them pray for
your grandfather. Free of charge.
You are so considerate, Ekrem.
Can I blow the candles now?
Please do.
May God bless your lungs.
Bravo!
-Happy birthday, honey.
-He is kissing my girl.
What is it?
It's my first gift. What is this?
This urn was
for the ashes of your late grandfather.
One minute.
But you buried him.
You can use it for flowers or something.
God forbid!
He is telling us to
burn our deceased ones.
Should we also beat them up
before burning them?
He is giving a subliminal message, Nese.
He wants us to burn our ancestors.
What do these guys do
in "Tom and Jeremy"?
Give it to me.
You probably wrote "sex" on it.
-What?
-Get back!
Moron.
Whatever.
Let's continue.
Nese, I want to give you a present too.
Nese, during our relationship,
you would always say that...
...I sweep you off your feet.
-I never said that.
-But you implied it.
I'll sweep you off your feet
with my gift, Nese.
I got it! Slippers!
You think small, Uncle Nazim.
All family members,
please follow me.
Ekrem, can you take it off now?
I am bored.
Of course.
With pleasure.
Ekrem!
Ekrem, what did you do?
This is the best gift
until I buy something better.
The Ekrem.
"It Was Not Earned, It Was a Gift"
A car?
Ekrem, I can't believe you.
You don't need to believe me.
Believe in God.
That will save you in the afterlife.
It's blue.
My favorite colour.
No, I can't accept this.
Let me take the keys then.
I've already won the favors.
But I can accept it.
3000 rpm, 6 cylinders, 321 horse power!
A classic!
Excuse me?
You went to such a great expense.
It shouldn't go to waste.
But I fondled you
in the market.
So?
Don't mention it.
Won't you say something, Nese?
Mom, no way!
Dear God!
We got a car!
Ekrem, you leave me speechless.
I've never seen
Uncle Nazim this happy.
You turned that grown man
into a child.
What a man you are, Uncle Nazim!
To hell with you, Uncle Nazim.
Normally, I would never accept a gift
like this, but look at them.
They are drowning in happiness.
Ekrem, thank you so much.
Ekrem, are you crying?
No, I am not.
I've got a car in my eye.
Look at Uncle Nazim.
He slept in the car.
He didn't go to pray either.
He became an idolater when he saw
the car. He is worshipping the car!
How can he hear the adhan?
He is deaf.
-You are right. Let me handle that.
-Stop! Come here.
Come. The plan is simple.
A little complicated but simple.
We'll send Nazim to pray,
and get in the car.
The last part is a little complicated.
We'll leave with the car.
-Okay, perfect.
-Come on. Be careful.
God is great.
God is one.
In the name of God!
I am late.
Did you think you would go to the other
side faster with your roadster, Nazim?
What are you doing?
What is it?
Wait. Let's put these
Hakan Altun masks on.
I hope someone sees us
and he serves a life sentence.
Are you mad?
What'll they think?
That Hakan Altun is stealing a car
in Adana with his twin?
I just want him to serve a life
sentence, I don't care how.
I am sick of him.
Come here.
I am asking you:
Will you marry me?
Thank God, the rent-a-car
had a spare key or we were toast.
Okay, calm down.
No panic.
-My hands are shaking with excitement.
-Hold on.
Are you crazy? Why do you unlock
the doors when it is a roadster?
I don't know what I'm doing!
I'm so nervous! Here, I'll lock them.
-Idiot!
-God!
-Did they hear it?
-Run!
The little kid is coming!
I almost broke my back!
Go! Go! Go!
-Where is the gear stick?
Bastards! Infidels!
Neighbours, help me!
-In the name of God!
-Oh, God!
We ran over Uncle Nazim!
Damn it!
We got rid of the kid.
Go! Go!
You can take my life,
but you can't take my car.
Go! She will fall on the road! Go!
Mom!
Uncle Nazim!
Uncle Nazim, what happened?
Hakan Altun and his twin stole our car.
They stole my mother too.
Taxi... Taxi!
You can take my life,
but you can't take my car!
You are messing
with the wrong woman!
I will make you my wives!
What have we got into, partner?
My mother-in-law
wants to make me her wife.
Auntie, don't you care about your life?
Let go of the car!
This car is my honour!
Give me my honour back!
This woman wouldn't even
hug her husband like this.
Leave it to me, partner.
I know what to do.
Hey, what are you doing?
Dear God!
We are biting the hands
we are supposed to kiss.
You rabid dog!
What the hell? Her hands are like a
pitbull's mouth. I can't get them open.
There is a bump up ahead.
I'll throw her off there.
That didn't work either, partner.
Partner!
-The guy fell off. Slow down, captain!
My mother-in-law rolled down
like a pickle barrel.
Are you alright, partner?
-Yes. I went to check something.
-Go! Go!
-I've memorised your faces, Ekrem!
I won't let you take my car!
-Follow the car in front of you!
-On Twitter?
We got rid of my mother-in-law.
Let's go to the rent-a-car.
Did you see how she fell down,
like a spotted ray?
What can she do to us?
One hit and she is down.
Why did you steal
an old woman's car?
I was afraid of this question.
How shall I explain now?
Can I join you, sir?
Here is the fee.
I have no business with the car.
-Hold the wheel, partner.
What are you doing,
for God's sake?
How is it okay to lean out of a bus
to beat someone up?
Are we in Middle Ages?
We are in Adana!
He is right. We are in Adana.
Let's all beat him up.
-Please don't hit us!
-They are gonna beat us to a pulp! Go!
Are you the Batman of Adana
or something?
Why are you trying to
fight for justice?
Ekrem, faster!
We'll die here! Go!
Dear God, save us!
Can you stop?
I need to get off.
Captain, stop!
They finally stopped.
Thank God!
Dear God, I'll go to the mosque
every Friday from now on.
At the exact day, at the exact hour.
-Why are you slowing down?
-Is the car evolving?
-Why aren't you going?
-Now, we are screwed.
What is it?
The guy at the rent-a-car told me that
this car practically drinks the gas.
Damn you!
They are here.
God willing, we'll make it to court.
Say nothing.
What's up Hakan?
How is the new album coming?
This is the real face of
Hakan Altun.
Ekrem, what are you doing in the car?
What is this nonsense?
Nese, while the car is going,
it makes a noise that sounds like...
Okay, Ekrem! Enough!
This is not your car, right?
Ekrem, I don't believe you.
Did you really think that
you could win me over with a car?
-I did it all for you. I swear.
-Stop it, Ekrem. Don't you see?
Everything you do,
you do it for yourself.
Look at me.
I don't want to see you again.
Ever!
Nese!
Nese, please don't go.
Miss, if are you done with
the gentleman, we'll take it from here.
Call her over here. Now.
They are still talking.
Every problem can be solved
with conversation. Please.
Indeed.
Let's talk then.
How dare you!
Don't hit an artist!
We are artists!
I'am leaving this place.
I just couldn't do it.
I realized that even dreaming
belongs to the winners.
It wasn't about the money.
You kept your promise.
That's what matters.
They keep encouraging you
in the movies, books and shows.
They trick people into thinking
that love is forever.
Every love ends one day.
All that is left are the broken hearts.
But you still want to live that dream.
We want to dream,
and make that dream come true.
What is the point of dreaming
if it doesn't become real?
I dreamt of Nese,
but it didn't come true.
Losers like me should know their place
and be content with what they have.
A loser like me
can only run away.
Loser!
I'll organize Fuat's wedding
and leave Adana, Zeynep.
What is the point of saying "stay"
to someone who wants to leave?
He will eventually
find an excuse and leave.
That's it.
I kept bothering you
with my troubles.
Forgive me.
-I won't forgive you!
"Forgive"? It has a high score.
Where is it?
Not like that!
I thought that maybe
that would make you stay.
Don't joke about that kind of stuff.
Let's say this bottle explodes.
Your head falls down.
Your eyes pop out. You are in pieces!
You are heavily injured!
In the afterlife,
we'd grab each other by the collar.
God tells us that
he can forgive everything except...
Okay! Okay!
I forgive you, Eko. I do.
Then let me give you a memento.
It'll remind you of me.
This is the check you didn't pay
when you first came to the night club.
I kept it as a souvenir.
Zeynep, are you mad?
How can I remember you
by looking at this?
Shall I think
"Zeynep screwed me over"?
I was the one who payed that check.
And that was a bad day. Go now!
Yes. Goodbye.
Goodbye Ekrem.
Goodbye.
"Goodbye."
Hello.
Nice to meet you.
I'll leave this city.
I want to walk away,
as if I'm saying goodbye.
Film me, okay?
-Okay.
Ekrem.
Let me introduce you
to my future wife.
-Do you know who she is?
-Of course. She is a wingless angel.
Since I am good at reading people,
I grabbed her before anyone else.
You really are good at reading people.
I didn't want to deal with making
children, so I found a pre-made one.
What great news!
She is so conventional. She even
asked for 45000 liras as a dowry.
May God give you happiness!
The price is up too!
I think it is quite cheap.
-Hello.
-Hello.
Sefik.
Who is she?
I have to thank you, Ekrem.
Thanks to you,
my husband and I are back together.
Don't mention it.
You know,
it is like a documentary.
The little gazelle eats grass.
Then the lion attacks it.
But her father sacrifices himself
to save the little gazelle.
Am I that father in this story?
You are just a donkey
watching all of this happen.
A donkey.
Come on, Donald.
Bye.
God...
Who are they?
-Where were you?
I missed you so much.
Don't ask, Uncle Nazim.
Things got complicated.
Where were you?
I missed you so much.
Where were you?
Uncle Nazim,
people write books about decency.
You are writing
the encyclopedia of lying.
Ekrem.
I heard that
you were leaving Adana.
Is there any way
you can contact us?
Yes, I have your phone number.
Now, you don't even have that.
I think she doesn't want to
see me again.
Switch it off.
It looks beautiful, right?
Yes, honey.
Yes, this is Jeremy Jackson.
Yes, sir.
Absolutely, sir.
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
What's going on?
My application was accepted!
I'll be a major at a base in Italy!
-What will I do in Italy?
-What will you do in Italy?
I'm the one who is going.
-You don't want me to come?
Nese, I was never that serious
about this relationship.
So, for you, it was...
Okay, it's fine.
Okay, stop!
I want to show my new butt
to my best friend.
Eko!
Brother!
-Brother!
Eko, are you ready?
Check out my surprise.
Do you see the jiggle, Eko?
Look at the curves!
How is my new butt?
I had it done!
What can I say? Your butt is
as beautiful as your face now.
You are the man.
This is all thanks to you.
This, this...
They are all thanks to you!
I filmed the entire surgery.
We watch it over and over.
Visit us one day.
We'll watch it together.
Hopefully.
Definitely come.
It's so beautiful. You are the man!
Come one, my love.
Could we find yellow tulips
for my grandfather's grave?
Do you have stuffed grape leaves?
It's my favorite dish.
It's blue. My favorite colour.
Yes!
Fuat Gokce,
do you accept Melodi as your...
Yes! Cut it short! Yes!
I love emojis!
These are all...
I had thought of every detail.
It was the perfect wedding for Nese.
This is my wedding.
"Inconsiderate"
Ekrem.
Ekrem, wait.
-Why?
-I was wrong all along.
I was stupid.
I didn't realize that
you loved me this much.
-You realize it now?
-I know. It's too late.
But it's not impossible.
Ekrem, let's start over.
Let's open a clean slate
like nothing happened.
-What about Jeremy?
-Jeremy?
I'll break up with him.
I'll do it right now.
Come on, Ekrem.
Give us a chance.
Let this be our fairytale.
Good, you are here.
Why did you run away, Nese?
Are you upset
because I'm going to Italy?
I'll promise that I'll come
to Turkey at every chance.
This is the reason, right, Nese?
Jeremy is leaving the nest.
Who else do you have?
Ekrem.
I am a toy for you, Nese.
You find someone else
when you get bored of me.
When he is done with you,
you come back.
You never loved me, Nese.
I prayed for years
with tears in my eyes, Nese.
I wanted something bad for you:
I wanted you to fall in love with me!
But what matters is not love.
It is conscience.
I'll go to
the most conscientious girl I know.
I'll go to Zeynep.
Jeremy, I have something to tell you.
Yankee, go home!
I spoke so eloquently.
It was perfect.
I am so cool right now.
I hope I can leave here
with no incidents.
Oh, God!
I couldn't. I was humiliated again.
I begged for help...
...with the cake on my head
for three and a half hours.
My friends just laughed at me.
I walked among the tables
at one point.
They ate the cake
while it was still on me.
Uncle Nazim always drinks something
when he eats cake.
So, he poured lemonade on me
and ate the cake.
Now, I've told you everything.
There is only one thing left to do.
Zeynep!
My Zeynep!
You smell wonderful, Zeynep.
Like tripe.
Ekrem.
Zeynep, you are so warm.
Like a combi boiler.
Ekrem...
-Zeynep, have you grown a beard?
-Ekrem!
Zeynep?
If you are there,
who am I hugging?
Dear God!
What the hell are you doing?
I really needed that.
You are like cotton.
Cotton? What are you saying?
What kind of a man are you?
I am a bear, bro.
I am full of tricks.
What is he saying, Zeynep?
Do something?
Get out of here!
Ekrem, you look so handsome.
The other suit has cake all over it.
Thank god, I had a spare.
I love you, Zeynep.
-I love you too, Ekrem.
Are you ready, Zeynep?
I'll ask you
the most meaningful question of my life.
Ask it.
Ask it. Come on.
I am so excited.
The words won't leave my mouth.
I think I can't say it.
You read it!
"Would it be okay
if you didn't work at a night club?"
Is this the most meaningful question
of your life, Ekrem?
It's not okay, Zeynep.
I can't take it.
Our traditions and elders
wouldn't be okay with you...
...working at a night club.
Ask my grandma if you want.
I don't want you to
work at a night club.
Grandma, I am not working
at the night club.
I am the owner.
-You are the owner?
Go away, grandma!
I am sick of your outdated traditions!
Can I work at the night club?
No, Ekrem. You can't.
Grandma, come here.
I don't want you to
work at a nightclub.
You power-hungry woman!
What are you saying again?
Go away!
When you said "question", I thought
you were going to propose to me.
Oh, I will, but I can't propose
without an organisation.
Here, my love.
This is for you.
The smallest ice cream
in the world!
Ekrem, why does your creativity
revolve around ice cream?
Wait a minute.
The book of records?
He is checking it.
He approved it.
-Get out of here!
We are a part of history now, Zeynep!
This perfect...
-Enough!
Your romance
is boring me to death.
Kick it off, Hakan!
I am waiting, desperately
By the phone.
Hakan, not that hit,
the other hit song.
I am asking you...
Ekrem, will you marry me?
Yes! Yes! Yes!
Here comes the kiss.
We are in Adana, Zeynep.
Stories don't end with a kiss here.
Ours will.
You are my everything.
-You are the mother of my kids.
THE END