Detetive Madeinusa (2021) Movie Script

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You son of a gun!
You son of a gun!
Come back, wench!
I'm gonna die!
- I'm gonna die! Oh, my God!
- Son of a gun, come back!
I'm going to find you!
Damn you!
Come back!
Did put my signature on the film?
Alright then!
Run, you guys!
Go back! Bullets! Bomb!
Die, you rascal!
Now you'll find out what
I'm capable of! I'm mean!
Let's go! Please don't shoot!
The riff-raff has nowhere
to run now, do you now?
At that moment, partner,
a movie played in my head.
And I remembered how my story began.
No, not that! That's my birth.
Take that out, take it out!
I remembered things
that happened much later.
BRASILIA, 2020
I knew I would someday use
my grandfather's typewriter...
What is it, man?
Take your cut, come on!
What's that, what's that man?
Well...
- it's for the cop.
- For the cop?
A cup of coffee. Milk for the cat.
A pat on the back.
This is to play along in the game. Eh?
Hmm.
You mean a bribe, right?
Take your cut right there!
Today I have a date with a babe
that I met on a dating app.
What babe? Where do you get babes?
That's a lie, man!
I'm late.
Take your cut already,
before somebody gets here.
Now I'm beginning to understand.
You're trying to frame me.
Are you trying to punk me?
It's that Candid Camera thing, right?
Where's the camera?
You want to catch me red handed!
I'm gonna find the camera!
I know there's cameras.
Camera? There's cameras here.
Cameras, cameras, cameras in the candy.
The lion's den. You also have cameras?
You must have hidden one.
A micro-camera!
Look, so small. I almost didn't see it.
I'm not trying to frame you.
Nobody's watching.
Come on, take your cut.
You think I got into politics to steal?
You think I got into politics
to take money from the voters?
Do you?
- I do.
- No siree, never!
I got in to end corruption.
If one day I have to steal,
you'll have to kick me out of the party.
And that won't be easy at all.
Coward! Scoundrel.
Son of a gun.
I was fired, Uston!
They fired me, Uston.
Just because I ran over a panda.
I don't even remember that, man.
That was a hoax, Madeinusa. Fake news.
Look how perfect it is.
Look, it's perfect, Uston.
They finished me off, man.
I'm sad, but on the other hand,
I'm happy because you came with me.
I came because I was fired too, really.
You mean the whole cabinet was fired?
No, only me, because I'm your cousin.
That's the problem
with having a twin cousin.
If we weren't so alike, you could say
you aren't, and they'd believe you.
Uston, the truth, Uston,
is that my life is a tragedy.
Uston, everything I touch is destroyed.
I'm jinxed, Uston.
Take this for me, for God's sake!
- Am I going to carry this?
- Forgive me, Madeinusa.
Uston, I'm jinxed,
I'm so jinxed, that one day, Uston,
- I bought a circus.
- Yes.
- On that very day...
- Yes.
- The bearded woman lost her beard.
- Jeez.
One day, I ordered
a stuffed puff-pastry to eat,
- and the pastry came without the puff.
- Good grief!
Good coffee, Mr. Z?
Uston, I'm really jinxed.
Uston, the truth is that if I decided
to make a movie,
if I wanted to be the protagonist,
there's a chance that on that day
there'd be a worldwide pandemic.
Coronga Virus. The movie would be
postponed several times.
But that really happened, right, man?
So you see how jinxed I am,
nothing works for me.
It's not like that, you've
done several things...
What have I done?
Tell me one thing! Just one!
Off the top of my head,
I can think of several things.
- That day that you went...
- What did I do? What? What?
- You went and...
- Tell me, what did I do!
You became a politician, Madeinusa!
Cos I didn't know how to do anything.
And when I discovered
I didn't know anything,
I realized I'm useless, man.
You're right, Madeinusa! That's how it is.
- It's the system.
- The system is crude.
The system is a lot stronger than us.
Uston, I just realized something.
We turn and turn,
and stop at the same place.
Uston, it's like a boomerang.
- Yes, Madeinusa.
- Life is cruel.
- Lift your head!
- What is it?
Do you see it?
Do you? Do you?
I see it, Uston!
I lost my job, not my eyesight, man.
Well, this place
is not for Madeinusa, no siree.
I suspected from the beginning.
You're right, dear Uston.
Let's go back to Banabui City.
Uston?
Yes, Madeinusa!
Prepare the first class!
That's what we got, Ma.
Congressman Madeinusa.
Having to endure something like this!
Why is that your name, Madeinusa?
You know I'm adopted, right?
Mom couldn't get pregnant.
One beautiful Sunday,
at 6:45 am, I was left at the door.
Dad said, "Is it daddy's boy, is it?"
It's daddy's boy! What will we call him?"
When mom looks at my clothes,
there was a label
and it said: "Made in USA".
My mom said, "Francisco, here's his name!"
Dad said, "Let's name him Francisco,
after his father!".
That's why they called me
Francisco Madeinusa.
What a beautiful story, bro.
I had no idea.
Now, I'm not liking that sad song.
Hey! Driver! Play something cheerful.
We're at the beginning of the movie.
Man, how much longer?
Shut up, Madeinusa.
- Are we close?
- No!
- Uston!
- What?
- Are we getting there?
- No, man!
- Where are we? In Braslia?
- It's a shortcut.
We're back!
C'mon! Go, go!
C'mon, we're close!
Look at the beautiful yellow house.
Oh, home sweet home!
My God, how I missed home. I'm exhausted.
Uston, make yourself at home.
This is the kitchen; that's living room.
In the living room there's
a sofa bed, an Xbox,
get comfortable, feel at home,
the house is yours!
- I've got to go to take a leak.
- Go, man
Oh, Uston, I just wanted
to change my life, Uston!
I don't know, man, change jobs.
I wish fate would give me a sign.
Send me a clue.
BECOME A DETECTIVE. OPPORTUNITY
Of course nothing is just
going to jump at us.
Nothing's just going to come from nowhere.
I saw it now. Look what it says there.
Here's your chance to
become a detective!
I want to know at least what I'm gonna do,
but it's difficult...
Look! Look at the TV, Madeinusa!
- Listen, it is you I'm talking to?
- TV, Uston?
- But the man...
- What do I want with a TV host, Uston!
Oh, Jesus Christ. Please! Give me a sign.
Give me a sign!
Send me some light! Give me a sign!
- Man, have you seen this here now?
- No.
- What was that?
- It's useless!
- Hey!
- Are you crazy?
The guy's just like that dude!
Like the dude...
Mister, your drumstick!
Jeez, look at that. Look at the size
of this drumstick! It's tiny!
That's the way it is, if you want
something different, go elsewhere.
Forgive me, but he's right.
We need a loupe in order to see this.
It's not to look at, just eat it,
if you'd like to see, order goggles.
No, miss, I need sustenance.
What's this here?
Wait, wait, wait!
What did you say, Uston?
- Sustenance.
- No, before that.
- Drumstick.
- No, after.
- To see.
- No, Uston.
What did you say between before and after?
The thing to see through, what's its name?
- A loupe.
- A loupe!
That's it! A loupe.
That matches with a detective,
and that suits Madeinusa.
- That's it!
- But I...
That was the clue I was looking for.
That's it!
I will find out everything
and put an end to the gang
that expelled me from the party.
Detective Madeinusa.
- That's like a superhero, right?
- It is.
Now he won't want to leave here!
I'm stoked now, man!
When do we start this? When do...?
Ma!
Hey, Ma.
It's today! Today's the big day!
It's my online detective course
and nothing, nothing else
will go wrong in my life.
Jesus, thank God!
The man brought light, wonderful!
How much for your services, my friend?
- Rs 500.
- Rs 500? You think I'm stupid, huh?
- Yes.
- Pay the man!
What?
The man was honest, pay him.
He charged Rs 500 to connect two wires
and you're calling him honest?
When I asked, "You think I'm stupid?",
he said yes, he confirmed. Pay, pay.
"Online detective course".
"Do you want to become
a detective, yes or no?"
Jesus, it starts out like that,
complicated.
I'll take a guess, yes.
"Congratulations, you have
just become a detective".
I'm a detective, man!
"Print your diploma".
"Print your...". Jesus Christ!
How am I going to print
the diploma, Holy Father?
Madeinusa, aren't you
a detective now? Investigate!
It's hard, but I'll find out, wait.
Print the diploma...
Print a certificate, it's this way...
Print a certificate...
CERTIFICATE
Uston, why didn't you tell me
you'd already taken this filthy course?
Madeinusa. Private
Detective and Secret Agent.
You're going to put "secret agent"
on your sign?
And how would they know, Uston?
Who's going to know
if I don't put it on the sign?
Uston, there are times when I realize
you're somewhat... clumsy.
What matters is that
everything will change.
Starting today, our lives will change.
It'll be like in the movies.
The detective puts up the sign,
enters through that door
with his assistant,
then in comes a tall blonde woman,
like an American,
beautiful, and completely mysterious.
It didn't work, she's not a blonde.
- Sorry guys, I...
- You crazy, man?
She's our first client.
Let's go, detective!
Aha! Well, well, well.
Look what we have here, my dear Uston.
I already know everything.
Your husband is cheating on you
with a tall, beautiful, strong, blonde.
American, speaks English.
Problematic, I know.
But rest assured, my dear darling.
The two of us are going to investigate
and discover that everything is part
of an international conspiracy
to exterminate the penguins in the Amazon.
Penguins in the Amazon, dude?
Correction, the penguins are from Sobral,
State of Cear.
I think I made a mistake.
I was looking for the beauty salon,
which is back there.
Oh, right.
But in that case, we also know
how to wax, you know?
I do it myself.
This can't be happening, my God!
Maybe it was a mistake...
But maybe it wasn't?
HOW TO CONQUER WOMEN
ASSISTANT TO PRIVATE DETECTIVE
AND SECRET AGENNow we're talking!
Dear, Uston, any news?
No news, man.
I was outside putting up my sign
to see if I got lucky like you.
Did you by chance forget
what we came to do here?
To wait for the blondes
to show up at our office?
No, Uston!
We came to take revenge
on those corrupt politicians.
You're right, man, forgive me.
But how are we going
to get our first case?
The only thing not lacking
in the country is corrupt politicians.
There's one in every corner.
Especially here in Banabui City.
There's more corrupt politician than bugs.
Just yell. Anybody there?
Show yourselves!
That's strange, nobody showed up.
I think it's best
we look in the streets, don't you think?
What streets, man!
Let's go to a place where I know
there are corrupt politicians.
Shall we?
BANABUI YACHT CLUB 1:15 pm
Do you see anything, do you?
I'm looking, but there's no one yet, Ma.
I can't see a thing, my friend.
Looks like our camouflage
really is working, right?
Dumb ass, lift up your head, Ma.
That's it.
Look, in a moment
you'll see a guy coming out
with a case full of dirty money,
you'll see.
Why do you think that?
My friend, this is the politicians' point.
They're all in the restaurant over there.
In a moment something
will happen, pay attention.
Watch!
I was here thinking...
TWO HOURS LATER
Why is an orange called "orange"
and lime is not called "green"?
But a banana isn't called "yellow".
But tangerine is called tangerine.
There's also pumpkin orange, man.
What are you saying, bro?
Jeez!
- Look, there, bro!
- What?
There's a man there with a case in hand!
- And now? Didn't I tell you?
- It's now, man. Our first mission!
I'll go that way, crawling.
You go around here
and we go together, man.
It's over, playboy!
The shit hit the fan, man!
Shit, Madeinusa!
- You didn't wait for me, dude!
- Out, out of the way!
Calm down, detective in action! I got you!
Hello, ladies. I'm a detective,
do you need protection?
- Yes!
- Yes!
- It's really hot!
- Let's go, man.
- My card, if you need anything.
- Are you going crazy, huh?
Thank you!
Feel that hot sun.
We're live with the botanist
Marcelo Pereira,
who left his family to follow a plant.
Exactly! I abandoned my home,
my family, my career, everything,
to come live in this tent
for the past 20 years,
to take loving care
of this plant over here,
that is unique in the world.
It's today, huh?
But what's so special about it?
Thank God you asked, because this plant
is the last of its species in the world,
and every 20 years, a flower blooms in it.
Exactly in 30 seconds.
And today we will capture this!
- What's that?
- No! No!
- Get out of the way!
- No!
- I'm in a hurry!
- No!
No!
Get that man, Madeinusa!
Scoundrel! You got in the water,
precisely today,
which is not my bathing day!
And now, Madeinusa? What will you do?
If it wasn't for me, Uston,
what would become of your life?
What are you doing, Madeinusa?
Olga, one of my girlfriends.
I've never seen a dude
with so many women, jeez!
But none of them does what Olga does.
Nobody does what Olga does. None of them.
Nobody does what Olga does.
Man, I don't want to intrude,
but that dude is drowning, you know?
- Do your thing!
- Going!
Take the doll!
C'mon, Uston! Hold Olga's leg.
You ripped Olga's arm off! Holy Father.
This is how,
this is how we treat scoundrels.
Look at how we treat scoundrels,
like this, look!
Take the bag, take the bag!
Madeinusa!
It's thousands, and thousands,
and thousands of dollars, Madeinusa.
This is what I call money laundering.
Laundering money, crook! Jeez!
- It's a bomb!
- It's a bomb!
- My God in Heaven, Madeinusa!
- Holy God, forgive me, buddy.
Are you crazy, Madeinusa?
And we were thinking badly of you.
I'm sorry.
- That's a bomb!
- Shut up!
We have to be men
and recognize our mistakes, Uston.
The man was only carrying a bomb.
Say you're sorry!
- I'm sorry, Madeinusa.
- Not to me, Uston! To the young man!
- I'm sorry, bomber man.
- No problem, son.
- Done, sir.
- You've been forgiven.
- Thanks. Go with God.
- Thanks.
Hey, I'm proud of you.
We are here with this man
who just helped arrest
a very well-known terrorist.
Well-known?
Gosh, I didn't know that man myself.
- Would you like to say something?
- Something.
Take advantage that we are live
and advertise our work, man!
That's true.
Do you need a detective?
I can be your private agent.
I will spy for you,
I will be your detective...
I'm the detective Madeinusa, call now!
Richlio,
it seems we've found our man.
- I want you to bring him here.
- Alright, sir.
- Bring clothes, let's see.
- Of course.
Call now, you won't regret it!
- This one?
- No, not that one.
- This one?
- That's awful.
- This one?
- That's from last season.
- This one?
- That's the one.
Excellent choice, sir.
Detective Madeinusa. The best!
ONE WEEK LATER
You made another one, right?
Another score!
Son of a gun!
Fire, fire!
- Stomp it, stomp it!
- Madeinusa!
Kill! Kill! Kill!
Call the police,
call the firefighters, call NASA!
Christ!
Oh my God, I've seen death!
There, man!
If we don't work out as detectives,
we could make a living
at least as firefighters.
Oh my God, it's true!
Because as detectives,
look at this, dammit, look at this office!
It's all... look, look,
it's full of flies.
Stop it, man, stop it!
It's Shirley and Mara,
don't mess with them.
He keeps calling me Shirley,
my name is Claudio, man.
I don't know, it could be
that flies aren't gendered.
Guga! Guga!
- No!
- I killed it!
- Why did you do that, dude?
- I killed it.
Genocide!
Is it Shirley, Mara or Genocide?
Make up your mind!
Look, look at the mess you made here.
Just clean it up, baby! Come on!
- Yes, but it's me who has to do it!
- Lazy!
- Who's that?
- I don't know. It's for you.
That's keeping you busy.
Ow!
I can't do this, man.
Waxing is back there, friend!
I don't need that, friend.
My friend, you don't understand.
I meant that if you're looking
for a waxing salon,
that's Dora in the back.
Epilator Dora, removes your hair and more!
I'm not looking for a wax job, friend.
I'm looking for a detective.
A detective, man!
And not just any detective!
One of the best.
Introduce him to me, where is he?
I want to meet that man...
Are you crazy, man? Welcome!
You're facing the greatest detective
in all of Brazil, maybe in the world!
Where?
Detective Madeinusa
and his assistant Uston.
- Us.
- Please, follow us into our office,
so you may explain your case.
No way. You two have to come with me.
This case is hairy.
Young man, you're stubborn. A hairy case?
I just told you that
hair issues is at the back,
at the waxing salon, with Epilator Dora.
Epilator Dora removes your hair and more.
Follow me!
Man, where you going?
Haven't you seen his size,
the clothes he's wearing?
We have to put on suits,
this is a big fish.
Man... His clothes won't fit me, man!
Each one, his own!
What a spacious car!
It looks like a hearse!
It's a very rare limousine.
There's only one limousine Line Star 1961.
And it belongs to my boss.
The great Neldson,
the biggest lobbyist in the world.
Very famous, filthy rich, a millionaire,
a trillionaire, a zillionaire.
Very famous? That's funny,
I never heard of this Neldson.
Surely you've heard about his projects.
The three-pin socket
or the bank slip
that can only be paid at the bank itself,
after the expiration date.
- This son of a gun invented that?
- That's him...
I demand silence. Absolute secrecy.
Behave, Made!
I know that look watching me
through the rear view mirror!
- No you don't! No you don't!
- Hey, wait a minute! Driver?
Turn around just a minute,
I want to confirm something.
The driver is Rubens Barrichello.
Damn, it really is him. It is Rubens, man.
God help me!
NELDSON'S MANSION
Crap, Madeinusa!
- Good day, Wanderlei!
- Good afternoon.
I knew it, this is the mansion
of Wanderlei Silva!
- It's really him!
- Look at his house!
No! This is not his house, man!
He's the security guard.
Come on! This way.
- Security!
- Security!
What are you staring at?
Have you lost something, bro?
Don't pull that face on me, bro!
You crazy, man?
You're lucky that he hates trouble.
- What a show-off, Uston!
- Look at the size of this house!
- Hello, Gustavo!
- Good afternoon!
Oh, shit! That's Gustavo Borges,
the swimmer.
The one with the medals?
Is this a joke, man?
They thought I was a nerd!
I'm modern, I use TikTok.
Stop!
I'm sorry, sir!
The famous Madeinusa.
- Madeinusa.
- And his faithful squire.
It's a pleasure, I'm Uston
with an accent on the "o".
- It was a spelling mistake.
- Was it supposed to be Washington?
It was supposed to be Uston,
but without the accent.
The pleasure is all yours.
It's ours. Welcome. Feel at home.
You must be curious
to know how we got to you.
Very simple, you came along Fifth Street,
turned right, went to number 32,
second floor, went down those stairs,
little house on the left,
in front of Epilator Dora.
Epilator Dora removes your hair and more.
- What?
- It was very easy.
This guy's head spins fast, right?
He's agile, distinct, versatile.
Versatile. Versatile!
- Richlio!
- Yes, sir.
I have a little surprise for you,
young man!
Surprise? I love them! I really...
Look, it's a firefly!
No, man! Look at us over there!
I also have my card! I-
- What do you see?
- Me!
You, a superhero. How beautiful!
- I'm beautiful!
- It's beautiful how you save people!
- It's gone virus.
- Viral, bro.
Viral, it went viral.
This video is being watched
more than Whindersson Nunes'.
- Don't say that! He's a loser.
- Is he?
- He works here with me.
- Does he?
He isn't worth half a Neldson. Richlio!
Yes, sir?
I realized that I'm not up to the moment,
the occasion.
That's it!
Now we're talking!
I feel a need for music!
- Music?
- Music, yes! Alok!
Damn! He's got Alok all to himself!
Alok! Yes!
There's only two in the world.
I bought this one.
Come back, Richlio.
Stop!
Just a little bit, son! Holy Mary!
You just want to play your own repertoire.
This sounds like a show by Safado.
God forbid! Put on some lounge music.
Now let's get to it!
- Come on!
- Yes.
Those who know me, know I love animals.
Look at my Betta fish.
Come see! Look at his Betta fish!
Where is it? Found it!
An aquarium that big,
and only one fish inside.
What a miserable man.
This fish once belonged to a Samurai.
It's a rare kind of Betta Fish
native to Northeastern Japan.
There is only one, it's the only one!
It's worth millions
and millions and millions.
If I were a fish I'd be this Betta,
but it wasn't because of this Betta
that I hired Alpha.
And Romeo! Alpha Romeo.
Get out of here, Richlio!
I'm thinking things through...
What is it, sir?
They stole my most precious animal.
A bull with white spots.
In that image there's really
only a white bull.
No, with white spots.
No, wait, my mind went spot.
It was a bull, no, no...
No, it went blank.
What color did you say the bull was?
- White.
- And the spots?
- White.
- And where are the spots?
- On him, see?
- And where's the bull? My God...
It's beneath the bull's spots.
But the spots are on the bull's body?
They're there, can't you see?
The bull is white and the spots are white?
It's like a Dalmatian,
but the spots are white.
Alright. You should have said that
in the first place.
Look at the image.
Now I get it. What's going on?
I must get my bull back.
Every second away from that bull,
I lose millions of dollars.
Why is the bull so valuable?
I don't know why. It's worth millions.
I lost my bull with the golden eggs.
Help me, Madeinusa!
This is our chance, Ma!
Well, well, well.
Your problems are over!
You are with Detective Madeinusa.
Me and Uston
are going to solve this case.
We'll unravel all this mystery
and find out who stole your bull.
Oh! I'm feeling a bit... unwell.
I'm going to rest
and take the music with me.
Make yourselves at home, okay?
- Comfortable.
- The house is yours.
Come on, boy, come with me.
- What is that?
- I'll make myself comfortable.
- Neldson has Alok all to himself.
- That's true.
I'm glad he told us to feel comfortable.
- I couldn't take this heat anymore!
- What are you doing?
We are used to being naked
at home, you and me.
We're not at home,
Madeinusa, are you nuts?
I'll tell you, you have to focus
on the mission, man.
Focus on the mission! Look!
You look over there, I'll look here!
Ah! I see things.
Ah!
Jesus Christ, that's a lot of yogurt, man.
Madeinusa, don't touch that!
Everything here is worth
millions and millions.
Don't touch that, Ma.
But there are so, so many.
He won't miss it
if I take just one, right?
Here, have one!
Mmm.
It's creamy!
You don't have to touch that, Made.
It's really good!
Alright, alright, bro!
I'll take another one! Another two.
He won't miss them.
- Enough, Ma!
- What's going on here?
Nothing's going on here.
It's all part of the investigation,
which is going very well, by the way.
Don't give me that, Richlio.
I know everything already.
It took me just a moment
here in the living room
to discover who is guilty for the theft.
- And who is it?
- You!
- Me? Why?
- Yes!
Because you're the butler.
And this is a detective movie.
In detective movies
the butler is always guilty.
The end! The movie is over!
Roll credits, please!
Hey!
Dude! People are leaving
the movie theater.
- So what?
- So what?
They'll ask for their money back.
People, it's a joke! Come back, people!
Come back, the movie will go on.
Roll movie!
That's where you're wrong,
my dear detective Madeinusa.
You're not as good as you say.
I'm not the butler.
I am a kind of GM. General Manager.
A manager, a coach.
A CEO of needs.
A right arm, a helping hand,
that he can always count on.
Richlio!
Yes, sir?
I'm done.
They'll catch us, Ma!
Nonsense, man! They won't find out,
we'll get out of this, no problem. Relax.
Your mustache, Ma. Your mustache.
Hello, did you miss me?
What's that on...?
It's yogurt, yogurt.
I have one every day for breakfast.
I always leave a bit on my mustache
for later,
for when I get hungry later,
I suck it back in.
Would you like something to drink?
Yogurt, do you have any?
I really appreciate yogurt,
if you have it, I'll take it.
We have all kinds of beverages here.
We have...
My God, the thief is still here!
He stole my bull's semen!
Wait a minute, sir.
What's inside the jars...?
Is that semen? Sperm?
It's my bull's little swimmers. Look.
Calm down, man. Breathe, Madeinusa.
- I'm going to the bathroom.
- Madeinusa!
- Uston...
- Control yourself!
- It's coming up, Uston!
- No, Ma! Not here! No, Ma!
- Was the yogurt expired?
- The aquarium!
No, ma! It's the fish
worth millions and millions.
No! My Betta!
Richlio! I'm done!
Shall we talk about business?
Richlio!
Is he smoking a one-dollar bill?
- No, never!
- Alright.
Only pounds sterling,
sent over from Bosnia Herzegovina.
Let's start the game, then?
Let's do it.
One million dollars!
Oh, damn!
No, sorry.
Let's make it two million dollars.
Too little?
Then...
Four million dollars
and we won't say another word.
You have to help me too.
More than that and who will I hire,
Neymar to be my detective?
No, Ma! It's now! Accept already!
Yes, yes, let's see,
theoretically we accept, right?
We accept your misery, alright?
We don't live off of charity,
but we have time in our hands.
Now you're speaking my language.
BOVINE SPA - EAST WING
This is the east wing.
The bovine spa.
We tightened security after the theft.
As you can see, we have Pomeranians
that can scare off
with their high pitched barking
any strangers attempting to enter
without permission, right?
Here the bulls get a first-rate treatment.
With beauty and massage services.
Walking a little bit up ahead
to this side,
you'll see that we have comedians
to keep our bulls in a good mood,
always laughing.
So there's the rich bull
and the poor bull, right?
Great, isn't it?
Even for a bull, this Whindersson
has jokes about poor and rich bulls!
It's stand-up, right?
You want me to joke about what,
if they don't relate, it's not funny.
How can I tell jokes
about a philosophy professor?
- He's funny.
- I have to tell jokes about animals!
You think Jane Goodall
would get angry if her son
sang Five Little Monkeys in front of her?
This is the least here in the mansion.
We have here a state-of-the-art
fire extinguisher.
The FBI is watching over there.
Over there we have Bluetooth, Blu-ray.
Bloom-berg. It's awesome.
We have a playlist that plays music
for the bulls to remain calm.
Could I interview...
talk to some of the people here, please?
Certainly, choose an employee
and feel free.
No, I want to talk to that one there.
A bull?
- Was he here on the day of the crime?
- Yes, he was.
So I'll have a chat with him.
Don't worry. I'm a detective,
I know how to speak "bullish".
A bull?
Hey, bull!
You're gonna tell me now
who stole the bull!
Bull!
The bull is not cooperating.
It's more difficult than I imagined.
We'll have to get some detective equipment
to follow the case.
DETECTIVE STORE
- Uston?
- Yes.
Didn't I tell you this detective store
was great, man?
Gosh, why?
I found my lucky charm
and it comes with my name on it, Uston!
That's not your name.
It says "Made in USA", man.
It's not Made in USA, idiot!
Look, look Ma-dei-nu-sa.
- Then look here!
- What?
Here, the same. Made in Italy!
Made in China, dammit!
- I can't believe it, Uston!
- What?
You found the lucky charms
of my sisters, man!
I'll take it to them.
You're not taking anything, you crazy?
And which sister is that?
You forgot, man? You're adopted!
You're right! I forgot.
But I'm taking my lucky charm.
I'm taking you.
Look here!
Well, well, well.
Every detective has to have
a detective's pipe.
Dammit. I burnt my finger.
Don't you know how to play
with fire?
Sometimes I get burned.
You work here, my lady?
Larissa. At your service!
- Serve!
- Yes.
You said "service"! Well, serve!
May I help you?
Yes, I'm looking for something
for a rookie, do you have anything?
I have exactly what you need.
That's what I need.
- Uston, my dear, Uston!
- Yes, Madeinusa!
I found what a detective
really needs. It's this.
- My God!
- That's great!
Awesome!
Now, if you want something more advanced,
here's my phone.
Phone? My God!
Super advanced, Uston!
I've never seen a phone this thin!
It looks like paper!
Hello! It's in a dead zone.
- He's kidding, isn't he?
- No, he's not.
Hello? Hello?
The man has a white bull,
with white spots,
that has a millionaire sperm.
It looks like yogurt,
Madeinusa even drank it.
Stop it, man! Stop being gross,
you're really filthy, man.
Disgusting. Saying such things
during a meal.
- And you already have a suspect?
- I don't.
- Jeez, what is this?
- She's possessed, man.
I hope she's possessed by someone
who works for the lottery.
Tell me the numbers to the lottery,
my dear, so we can...
- No!
- What is this?
I'm here to warn you!
My holy Father. Come back,
right when she was going to say it.
Oh! It's always like that.
She goes into a trance
and then she stays like that, paralyzed.
To find out the information,
just wake her up.
Mm-mm.
That won't do it.
You have to sing like Pabllo Vittar.
And it has to be the song "K.O."
Well, in the name of Pabllo Vittar,
sing for her to wake up.
She's coming back!
The culprit for the bull theft
lives in Neldson's own mansion.
Hmm.
- How do you know?
- Know what?!
What you just said.
The horror! In the name of Pabllo Vittar!
You think she's right?
Maybe we finally have our first clue?
THE FOLLOWING DAY
It all started with this
one here.
This stubborn one said, "No!"
I'm going over to Neldson's,
there's something there."
Feeling powerful,
with the force: "I will solve this."
He leaves here, the disgusting one,
and goes down here after Neldson.
Because, he said:
"I will fight to get this bull back!"
So, the other one said:
"You won't fight anybody, boy".
Feeling unhappy, he comes back again!
I said, "I forgot the keychain".
What does the keychain have to do
with the story? Nothing!
The guy was here, look,
preparing the steak, to eat.
What's her name? Rita!
He said "Come back, Rita!
I'll forgive the stabbing".
The confusion starts and
then everything goes crazy.
And I...
Jeez!
Help, Uston!
Are you alright?
I got a little tangled
with the investigation.
- What is that?
- You are a little pansy, right?
Madeinusa...
Tell me something.
Why are you in that waxing salon
every day?
Do you have a lot of hair to remove?
What?
Do you have a lot of hair?
Because I didn't realize
that on the day we...
I'm installing the computer system
in the waxing salon.
And you understand
about computers, the internet, do you?
I'm an IT technician.
I just had an idea.
How about I ask some friends over
for us to do something?
Jeez, Madeinusa,
you're naughtier than I imagined.
Alright!
Hi!
Hi, how are you?
Hi, stranger!
What do you want, Madeinusa?
I'm here already!
Just to let you know,
9 o'clock right here at home, okay?
We live in the same house, man.
Well, I gathered everyone here,
because I believe in the superpowers
each of you has.
Zuleide specialist in technology.
She knows the digital world
like no one else.
Larissa master of disguises.
Nobody pretends better than her.
Marcela, specialist in telepathy.
She enters the human mind.
That is, she's mental.
Uston,
expert in licking my boots,
he's the bootlicker.
Together, we are stronger.
Together, we'll uncover the culprit,
the thief.
The one who stole the white bull
with white spots.
Look at these two here
in my opinion, are out.
And even if they're guilty
no one would be able to take them on.
Nobody here is crazy.
And this one?
Nothing.
And in the end, nothing.
These ones, even if they wanted,
wouldn't be able to get to the bulls.
Traffic in Banabui City is heavy.
As you can see, we have no more suspects.
So...
This is unfortunately
an impossible crime to solve.
Madeinusa, you forgot Richlio.
Well, well, well.
Let's see what we have here,
my dear Uston.
I knew it!
The butler is always guilty! It's him!
Genius, Madeinusa, genius!
Or better yet, "Geninusa"!
Even if it makes sense,
we need to have evidence of it anyway.
We can find out his home address.
If we find it, we'll go there.
Maybe he has a bull in his living room.
Do you have his phone?
I have mine and the one Larissa gave me.
His number, Madeinusa.
I do. He gave me his contact number.
Then share it with me.
I'll send it through WhatsApp.
I'll send him a file and when he opens it,
we'll discover his location.
Good one!
What was that, my son?
Nothing, mom. It's nothing.
You're watching porn, Richlio?
- Me, mom?
- Yes.
For God's sake, man.
I'm watching an online course,
and the teacher had
an asthma attack right then.
Bull's eye!
Missed me! Stop!
He opened it!
Nobody can resist that sound.
Only a fool would fall for this.
Online course I'm taking.
Now we'll discover where Richlio lives.
- Look!
- Nailed him, nailed him.
- Great!
- Queen Zuleide owns the internet.
I knew he was the suspect.
The subject lives
in a little blue dot, man?
Pabllo Vittar?
Position 4 and 20.
RICHLIO'S HOUSE
People, attention.
That is Richlio's house.
Where's the little blue dot?
Wasn't it a blue dot?
What little blue dot, Ma?
The little blue dot on the map
that the girl showed us.
- He's coming. Act naturally.
- Good evening, princess!
Good evening, son, good evening.
What are you doing at this late hour?
I'm going for a walk
with my grandson, that's all.
It's very dangerous! I know these parts.
May I accompany you?
Everything's fine, son. Everything's fine.
- Your grandson?
- Yes.
Let me take a look at the pretty boy.
My God! Was he born prematurely?
A little bit, son.
He seems a bit weak, right?
Let me try to calm him down.
Take your hands off my grandson, man!
Give the evil eye to someone else!
Richlio left. Now's the time, man.
Let's go in!
No! What if someone's in the house?
I have a better idea, much more discreet.
I prepared everything
inside the baby carriage.
Calm down, it's just like one
of those mobile cameras.
I thought it was a mouse.
It is a mouse.
It's got a camera on top,
triggered by a remote control.
Great, Larissa!
We can see absolutely
everything the mouse is filming
on Zuleide's cell phone.
- Uston!
- Yes!
You will guide the mouse
through Richlio's house
so we can see what's happening in there.
No, I'm going to guide it!
- I'm going to guide it.
- Madeinusa.
Larissa said Uston will guide it!
- I'm guiding it.
- Be still!
People, you know how he gets!
Let him do it!
Take this thing already.
Here we go, here we go!
- Go, brother! Easy! Left!
- No, Ma.
- Wait.
- To your left.
It's more complicated than guiding an ass.
- Left, left!
- Go, go!
- Go, go!
- Calm down.
- Yes.
- Calmly.
- Alright.
- And now?
- No go, right, over there.
- That way. Go, go.
- That's it!
- Yes, it is!
There's a foot, look!
I liked the shoe!
That must be his mother.
You see? Did you see?
She has Richlio's secrets
in the palm of her hands!
RICHLIO'S SECRETS
She's going to open it!
She's going to open it now!
- Jeez!
- Oh my God!
- It looks like a lion, tiger! A panther!
- Run, Ma, run!
- We lost the little mouse.
- We lost the cat.
We lost the camera!
But I have a better idea
to get to the old lady.
And a lot more discreet.
For God's sake.
I'm a detective and secret agent.
Well, well, well.
Look at what we have here.
A little old lady, shaking in fear.
Like the saying goes,
nothing to hide, nothing to sneer.
How long has your son Richlio
been working for Neldson?
Look, they've known each other
since they were kids, you know.
Child labor is a crime!
No.
Richlio started working
for Neldson a few years ago,
but they've known each other...
They went to school together.
They went to school together...
His name is Neldson!
Neldson, your name is stupid!
Neldson is normal!
Yours is Richlio, it's ugly!
Richlio is cool!
Richlio is a French name, Richlio!
Now Neldson, that is stupid!
You're a loser, your hair is horrible,
your teeth look like a donkey's.
You look like a bus driver!
- So, your son practiced "burgling"?
- What?
- Burgling!
- Bullying?
Yes, your son "burglied" others,
that's very bad.
The truth is that, after he got rich...
he humiliated Richlio.
Neldson hired Richlio
to take revenge on him,
to bully him back.
Clean, Richlio!
I want to play chess when I'm in the can.
- Clean!
- Now I get it.
And so little Richlio hates Neldson.
This is his greatest secret.
I'll be damned.
I hold his greatest secret.
Calm down, Made!
Breathe in deeply.
"Ships"! I hate Neldson!
So that's it!
We only need to follow Richlio
and we'll solve the whole case.
Yeah. I mean, no! What?
I mean, the story was so good
I almost pissed myself.
I'm going to the bathroom.
Where's the bathroom? Excuse me.
RICHLIO'S HOUSE - MONDAY
- Uston?
- Yes, Made!
I've been here thinking,
within my own thoughts...
Why is someone who works
at sea called seaman,
and he who works in the air
is not called airman?
Look, Richlio, there!
Bastard, he's too far!
Let's go, people!
Come on, girls!
Taxi!
Follow that car!
I've always wanted to say that!
There is only place
for five, buddy!
One, two, three, four, five.
It's right, boss.
Let's go, we're five! Hey! Come back!
We're five! Can't you count?
RICHLIO'S HOUSE - TUESDAY
Don't worry, it will work out today.
I have my lucky charm with me.
- Look at the man over there!
- Where?
- He's coming out!
- It's really him!
Get the taxi! Taxi!
Let's go!
- Help me!
- Let's go, man!
I'm coming!
Follow that car!
My God, the man is on a bicycle, my Lord!
How can we follow him on a bike?
Get down, dammit!
Speed up! No! Slow down!
We drove past him! Slow down!
No! Don't speed up nor slow down!
Put it on neutral.
- That's it.
- Hey, Madeinusa.
RICHLIO'S HOUSE - WEDNESDAY
- When you get to the bike, run!
- I'll run, run, run.
Jeez, dammit!
- He forgot his bicycle.
- The guy took the car, dammit.
- Ah, son of a gun!
- And now, Madeinusa?
- Let's run after him, right?
- On bicycle?
We'll catch him!
- Run, dammit!
- I'm going!
Run, Madeinusa! Run now!
Climb on the bike, you idiot!
My God! Now I remember! Go ahead!
It's stuck! I think it's broke!
Let's go, switch gears, man!
RICHLIO'S HOUSE - THURSDAY
So, you're going to open
Richlio's car trunk
and put this device in there.
This is a GPS.
I acknowledge the mission.
Madeinusa, remember
you have to be discreet.
Discreet? Don't worry, my dear.
Don't you know Madeinusa
in English means discreet?
Only if it's in English, because
in Portuguese you're zero discreet.
Calm down! Give me some time! Stay put!
Don't you think we give that guy
too much responsibility?
But now he just has to cross the street!
Like a crane.
I arrived!
I arrived! I'm here!
Shut your mouth, man!
My God!
Everything is under control, easy!
Under control!
This is going to be easy, just... Done!
- Now he just has to throw the thing in!
- Yes.
- My God! What is he doing?
- I don't know.
Why? Why?
- Oh, no. Come on!
- Come on!
- Get down!
- Damn!
I just installed the GPS, group!
- He's staying in the car!
- No, no!
I think something heavy came in the front.
Jeez, what's that noise? Maybe it's a cat?
Madeinusa, stay calm.
We're right behind you.
Everything's under control.
Don't worry. I just think it's dark.
Turn the light on, please?
We're going over a bump.
He just turned left.
He turned right, man!
I think we have arrived.
Hey, people! Whose house is this?
I think we should take some pictures.
Do you have a super spy camera, huh?
We do, and so do you.
It's called cell phone.
Jeez, did you lose weight?
That bio-dance is a success.
Wait a minute, Zuleide!
Can you enlarge that man's face?
I knew it! It's congressman Robalo.
He's the bastard
that kicked us out of Congress.
Cornlio Robalo.
That man competed in the auction
of the bull with Neldson, look here!
Zu, enlarge the picture again!
People, it's clear!
Richlio and Robalo are accomplices.
The congressman was pissed
because he lost at the auction.
So, he teamed up with Richlio,
who hates Neldson,
and the two stole the beast.
- That's it!
- That's it really!
- That's it!
- Exactly, Larissa!
There's this case here, look!
Robalo always has that case with him.
Totally!
So that's the key to the secret.
We have to get that case any way we can.
- That's it!
- Good one, team!
People! It seems now
we're closer than ever.
You think, Marcela?
Didn't you guys have
a feeling that there was
a bad kind of vibe
getting in the way of our investigation.
Here?
There was something there,
but seems like it's gone now.
Guys, that was a real hassle, you know?
It was very difficult
to stay in that darkness!
But I turned into a superhero,
and I didn't let it get to me.
I kicked the back seat in,
it fell forward,
I jumped like a superhero over the seat.
I sat down, but I panicked
because I looked around the car
and saw the doors were shut.
"How am I going
to get out of the car now?"
Why didn't you open the door, man?
Did I have the keys
to the car by chance, Uston?
Am I the owner of the car, Uston?
Poor Madeinusa!
Thank God I'm smart.
I thought like a superhero.
I slammed my head against the glass
and got out the window.
Robalo, I didn't see this coming!
See, Madeinusa? Everything makes sense!
I know we must go
after congressman Robalo,
but I don't know how to reach him.
Give me his contact.
I'll share it with you
through WhatsApp now!
- Today won't be possible!
- Why not?
- It's Friday!
- So?
- It's Friday!
- What's the problem, man?
Every Friday that's a Friday
Robalo has a date with a woman
from an app.
It's a date he has every Friday
that is a Friday.
- Holy Mary!
- So today won't work!
Well, well, well.
I just had an idea.
What if I took the place
of the woman from the app?
I found it!
He's meeting her at his house.
But we're going to call the date earlier.
We'll tell her to go to the bar.
So you'll go to the bar,
find a way to put her to sleep.
Then you'll go to his house
instead of her.
That's your opportunity to get the case.
- He's always carrying the case!
- The case!
Focus on the case!
You'll have to look just like her.
Don't worry!
I'll work hard on the make-up.
I'll look just like her.
SKYBAR LOUNGE 7:33 p.m.
Mari! Girl, I can't
believe it, for God's sake!
- What are you saying?
- Mari!
- What are you doing?
- Mari!
Sitting at my table?
Mariane, it's me, Anne Mari!
Your sister, girl!
I don't have a sister!
You do! We're twins
from a different father and mother.
You were taken as a child, I remember.
For God's sake,
I don't even like to remember it, sis!
We were so close, sis!
Don't you remember me?
No!
Don't you think we even look alike?
You don't look anything like me!
Girl, you're so ugly
that if you sit down to watch TV,
the channel changes by itself.
Stop it, girl, now it got worse,
you look even uglier.
Stop crying, stop crying!
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!
I'm just upset because I was stood up.
Stood up? You said stood up?
Let's have a juice, juice with alcohol.
That's good to drink. Let's have a drink!
Just one drink. I'll forgive you!
But only if you have a drink with me!
The night's lost anyway!
Not that one,
we have to choose the right one!
What's that, that voice?
- A virus!
- It's not the Chinese virus, is it?
It's local!
Let me remember!
Remember what?
Sweetener!
Sometimes I put sweetener in this!
- Do you take sweetener?
- No, no, sugar.
Wait, let's try "eenie meenie miney mo".
I'll choose this one!
But since I'm stubborn,
I'll choose this one!
There, that's it!
- May I?
- I think it's this one.
The one on the right, on the right.
- Great.
- It's really good.
What's that? What's that?
Listen, what...?
Yeah, now they really look alike!
Madeinusa, help me out here!
What is it? Are you alright?
I'm feeling normal! Nothing's up!
I'm feeling perfectly calm.
- Help me out here! Help me lie her down!
- We help each other.
Wake up, idiot!
We have to go after Robalo!
They're all waiting for us!
It was me! I did it! I did it!
You did what?
I killed the girl! Is she dead?
Killed who? She's sleeping! Take her legs!
- To the side! To the side!
- No, this way!
Because the blood can flow to the head!
Okay! Sleep with the angels!
Twin sister, I'll miss you, girl!
- You touched my life deeply!
- Go! Go!
ROBALO'S HOUSE 9:07 p.m.
Are you okay?
Not counting the
shaking, I'm great!
Here's the deal, this is a wire
and you'll use an earpiece.
Earpiece? That won't work
because I'm a terrible singer.
We'll be outside, hiding,
giving you instructions.
- All set!
- Come on...
Ma, the coast is clear.
Everything's under control, I'm good.
I'm completely fine. I'm normal.
I'm sorry, Mrs. Crosswalk
A talking crosswalk!
What the damn was in that sandwich, boy?
Sausage, fries...
Hi, big baby!
Funny, you look different
from the picture in the app.
- String him along!
- It's the angle! It's the angle.
Sometimes, the angle changes you,
like this. Or I can look like this.
From the back, it doesn't even look
like me, you see?
It's not me. It's different.
Am I better or worse than the picture?
I think you look a lot better.
Thank God! I'm glad!
I'm inside.
What did you say?
Intelligent! You're so intelligent!
Only an intelligent man can recognize
a pretty woman.
Should we get down to business,
start warming up?
Naughty boy!
Wait, calm down, let's take it easy!
Fix me a drink.
I'll wait for you sitting down.
Prepare something for both of us...
Looking at you from here,
you look like someone I know.
Have you been told you look
like someone I know?
If I told you that everybody says that!
That I look like someone you know!
Everybody says "you look a lot like
someone he knows, you look alike".
I don't know why!
Say you look like Gretchen!
I look a lot like Gretchen,
I'm just like Gretchen!
Mixed with Thammy,
I also look like Thammy.
I'm like both, Gretchen
and Thammy, that's me.
- Good, good!
- How many ice cubes?
As many cubes as you want, baby!
It's stuffy in here.
What are you doing?
Working out. Don't you know what this is?
Because you've never had a real woman.
This here, boy, look it's the turn
of the thigh, with a kink.
Madeinusa, the room
is on the second floor,
at the end of the hall.
I'm gonna do this with you
upstairs in the room when we go up.
I'm training.
Are you warming up your thighs?
Naughty boy!
Let me tell you something,
let me go up, I'm going to set
everything up, put on my thong
make myself pretty and make the turn
of the thigh, with a kink.
- No, wait a minute.
- Jeez.
- You know what I think?
- Slow down.
I think we could stay here like this,
talking a bit longer.
Listen, listen.
- Me and you like this.
- Don't be silly.
- I've got goosebumps all over.
- I'm thrilled, I'm coming up.
I think we could start here,
doing something else...
put on a romantic movie.
- A musical atmosphere.
- Musical?
Musical!
The man's gone crazy, guys!
What's going on, people?
Hey, hey! What's
this music, man?
- I didn't agree to no musical, bro.
- Enough! What's with the musical?
Don't ask me, it's Vander's idea!
He told us to do a Brazilian La La Land,
I can't dance!
It's all improvisation, dammit!
You want to do a musical,
do it at your own house!
I'm even turned on, I don't know how!
Ok, go back without
musical. Action!
So, naughty boy...
Let's do this,
I'll go up and you only come
when mommy calls, alright?
Alright!
Take care, okay!
- Only when I call you.
- Look at that!
Old perv.
I just got to the slaughterhouse.
Slow down, Madeinusa!
Everything's under control, cool.
I think I ate something bad.
Look, there's a bed here, okay?
Red, a reddish color.
My God, what a wonder...
you wouldn't imagine. Comfy, soft.
I feel like I'm in heaven. The mansion?
I'm in the bedroom of the mansion, guys!
Oh, the mission!
I can't even talk about the bed!
A bed like this, so wonder...
Well, well, well...
Look at what we have here!
- What did you find, Ma?
- Guys, it worked.
Come to papa.
My favorite little game.
Don't bother me, I'm going to play now.
I'm Leoncio...
What's going on, Madeinusa?
We better get closer, people,
something might happen.
- Like what?
- I don't know, I have a bad feeling.
But wasn't I the psychic in the group?
Has that changed?
And do we need a psychic to tell
that when it comes to Madeinusa,
shit happens, bro!
True, smart.
My princess, you took so long
that I came looking for you
to see what's happening.
Sweetie, I was getting ready
for you, alright?
- Do you work for Google, by chance?
- Why, naughty boy?
Because you're everything
I was looking for, woman.
- No!
- Look at this in here.
- What's that, man?
- Hey!
What did you just say?
What's that, man, macho man?
Look at the milk truck!
The milk truck!
I'm kidding with you.
- No!
- It's just a joke, honey.
Why did you speak
with that voice just now?
- What did you just say?
- No, I'm just taking hormones.
It's like a rooster crowing.
My voice thickens.
Honey, what is it, man?
Then, what is it, man?
What is it, man? What is it man?
What is it man?
Several oscillations.
Go on, what where you saying?
It's you. Right, Madeinusa?
- Shit!
- He found out!
Are you having a stroke?
The shit hit the fan, people!
He found out! Shit! Shit!
You're gonna see the milk truck
bursting now!
Help me, Jesus!
Shoot, if you're a man!
Drop my case!
Shoot at your case!
Aren't you tough? Aren't you a beast?
- Drop my case!
- No, I won't!
Drop my case!
Give me the gun
and I'll give you the case.
I'll give you my hand,
you give me the gun.
You give me your hand,
I'll give you the case.
Drop my case.
Hand this way, gun over here.
Hand over here... That's it!
That's right, I grab the gun,
you, the case. Alright?
No!
- I'm going to die! My God!
- I'm gonna kill you! Come here!
Let's go! Let's go! Let's go!
I told you!
Didn't I say shit was gonna happen?
Uston!
Wait up!
Wait up!
Run, people! Run!
- We made it, man!
- Burn, damn you!
Run back! It's bullets!
I'm blind like a cuckold husband.
You guys have nowhere to run,
right, old cocks!
Take this!
Jeez!
Get the fu...
Shit! Come! come! Come!
Up, come on, come on!
Come, hold on tight!
We're leaving, right now!
That's it, right? We didn't get the case,
nothing worked out.
All for nothing!
Hey, Marcela!
Everything alright, Marcela.
Guys, keep the noise down, for God's sake!
Keep your voice down.
I'm playing my game!
You keep talking, I can't concentrate.
I won't complete the level.
Help me, please,
let me complete the level.
I've had enough
with these WhatsApp messages.
What messages, man?
These messages from Robalo!
Robalo talking with Neldson,
saying: "Neldson be careful because
Madeinusa is investigating the case."
Be careful with Madeinusa!"
And on, and on, and on, and on!
This tablet belongs to Robalo!
It was his.
I found it and like the saying goes:
finders, "kreepers".
Give me that!
Guys, there's several messages
from them! Look here:
"I hired an idiot to find the bull,
he never will!"
- Which idiot?
- That's it!
They hired a detective
to get the insurance.
Guys! An outrage!
They're hiring other people!
That's treason!
And there's more "Robalo:"
"Your idea of competing
at the auction was too much.
I just kept raising
the price and you covered the offer."
Neldson: "And now the bull
is worth a fortune."
We just need to cash the insurance."
Robalo: "I don't know,
someday someone might find out."
Neldson: "You don't understand.
This Madeinusa is a complete idiot."
Robalo: "Madeinusa, you hired Madeinusa?"
"That's great for us!"
Neldson: "They will never find the bull!"
Well, well, well.
Now I get it.
They hired another Madeinusa,
- instead of me, myself.
- Oh my God.
Of course not, man!
Do you have shit for brains?
Just think about it, man!
Dumb ass, right?
Shut up, Marcela!
Guys, for the love of God,
explain like if I am five years old.
I'm not getting it.
Pay attention, Madeinusa!
This is Robalo.
And Robalo is bad!
This is Neldson!
And Neldson is very bad!
Jesus!
Neldson and Robalo are friends.
- Hi, little friend.
- Hi!
Evil friends!
Thank you, girls.
Understood, Madeinusa?
Don't be like that.
Call the police,
call the firemen, call NASA!
Call my mother!
What is it, people?
They're making fun of me.
They did as if they were disputing
the bull to raise the price.
We have to find that bull
because without it, we have no proof.
We have to find the insurance policy.
How are we going to find something
if we don't know where it is?
Don't look at me, I'm not feeling well.
Okay, I'll try.
But no guarantees!
Silence, please!
It's coming into her mind.
It's coming!
It got stuck.
- And now?
- It's stuck.
- What now?
- Who's going to sing?
- You'll sing!
- Larissa will.
- My love or your love?
- God Almighty!
No, that's not it, dear God!
- Holy Mother!
- Wait, I'm getting nervous.
- It has to get unstuck.
- But how?
In the name of Pabllo Vittar,
who could help us?
Hi!
Is it really her?
This is me! Of course, it's me, silly!
Hello, guys, how's it going?
- Sing for us, sing!
- Of course, sweetie!
- What?
- I have no doubt you'll heal your heart.
- The song is lovely!
- Go on.
- No?
- It's not that one.
Guys, this one is new, from my new album.
But the one that wakes her up
is the one that says:
- That one.
- Got it! For her, alright.
The insurance policy is
in the strongbox at Neldson's house.
I told you she gets
into people's minds. She's mental!
What happened, guys?
Pabllo was singing for you!
- What?
- Where is Pabllo?
What Pabllo, guys? Are you kidding?
- I swear, man, she was here just now!
- I'm not crazy!
A woman that size
doesn't disappear like that!
She was here. She must have left...
She was here,
she could not have disappeared.
Team, I have uncovered it.
The strongbox is here in the east wing,
close to the bull shed.
Larissa, you'll distract the guard
so Madeinusa can get in.
Hello!
You'll be at the front of the house.
Madeinusa will use this spray
to cover the cameras.
Madeinusa and Marcela
will throw this gas bomb
to take out the security guard
near the pool.
You will be very close.
You'll have to go past the dogs.
Madeinusa will throw the steaks
full of laxative.
That's good, it'll make the dogs
shit like crazy and we go in.
If everything goes right,
we'll be inside the strongbox.
I have such a weird feeling I know you,
I always see you here.
I think this house is beautiful!
Could I come in to have a look?
- Just to talk.
- Come in.
That's it! From the gym, man!
But you never showed up again.
MAIN GATE
We could work out together.
I want to tighten these muscles over here.
- Sure, sure. We could.
- Great, whenever you like.
Didn't even see me, sucker!
EAST WING
- You know what you have to do, right?
- Trust me, Marcela!
Go ahead!
Ta-dah!
MADEINUSA WAS HERE!
Give me that!
Marcela, what do I do?
Help me! I got "cerebral amnesia"!
SWIMMING POOL
Madeinusa, the bomb!
- The bomb?
- The bomb!
The bomb!
Yeah, because back home
it's called something else.
It's buckle, mullet, boom.
I'll show you, pay attention!
- It's not that type of bomb!
- Hey, stop!
Idiot!
This is good!
Congratulations, give me five!
Watch out.
Cannonball!
No!
It's amazing how dry I am.
I was soaked a few seconds ago.
WEST ROOM
But this detective outfit is efficient.
It dried me, combed my hair,
put my make up on
and even sprayed my pompadour.
Shut up, Madeinusa!
- What is it, man?
- Look at the dogs there, Madeinusa.
Dogs, for God's sake!
I'm scared shitless of dogs!
And be still! They can smell fear.
So, they can smell me.
Throw the steaks.
Throw the steaks for them to eat!
Throw the steaks?
I already threw them
inside myself, I ate them!
The steaks were full of laxatives,
they were for the dogs to shit,
so we could get in.
God almighty!
So that's why my stomach
is sounding like a parade!
Madeinusa, stay here and I'll go in,
I have a way with dogs.
Good luck, Uston! Uston!
Holy father! Bless me, Mary!
Holy Father!
God damn, doggies!
Uston?
There! Madeinusa! Let's Go!
It's over!
STRONGBOX ROOM
- I have a stomach ache, guys!
- Shhh!
I just have to get into their network
and deactivate the lasers.
Or not, it identified an attack
and created a new security shield.
- Very good.
- And now?
Let's go,
this will soon be full of guards!
Easy, man, easy, don't you know
I'm the one who solves everything?
Haven't I so far?
- Yes...
- What do you mean?
Did I do anything to prove otherwise?
Did I, by chance?
He's doing it!
Go, man! You're almost there!
Yes, yes, yes.
Didn't I say I was feeling lucky?
My lucky charm brings me a lot of luck!
Hello? Hello?
I was ready to get the insurance money
for the bull.
You decided to show up to spoil my plan!
For God's sake, get to the point!
I'm not feeling well!
Shut up! You're a farce, Madeinusa!
You never saved anybody,
there was no bomb.
I knew you were the right guy to mess up.
Man. Let me go to the bathroom.
Stop beating around the bush!
You're going to turn into bull food!
Don't mention food!
Oh, my God. Did I step on shit?
- You stepped on shit! Lift your feet.
- It was Madeinusa.
Madeinusa ate steak with laxative,
I forgot to mention.
Richlio, he's done!
Clean up, Richlio!
Stop!
Goodbye!
I'm tired of being humiliated by you.
I'll never cleaning your butt again.
Hot damn! Is this shit PMS?
You'll never be able to prove anything.
- That's where you're wrong, my dear.
- Wrong.
- This is Robalo's tablet.
- What do you mean?
This contains all the conversations
you two had that incriminate you.
You think I'm gonna fall for that?
You are just fishing!
You are bluffing! There's no bull.
If there's no bull, there's no proof.
- Really?
- Yeah.
Fire!
Water!
- Water!
- Madeinusa! Look!
It's the white bull with white spots, man.
He was painted black all along.
- Man! You know what that means?
- What?
That you're a true detective.
- Really?
- We solved the case.
Wait!
But where's the white bull?
Over there, man! It's him,
the white bull with white spots.
- And the spots?
- White!
- And which color is the bull?
- The bull is white.
And where are the spots?
I only see a white bull.
Made, pay attention.
Crowded with news. Look here.
Go to the front page, it's there.
- It's not here.
- It's always on the front page.
No, it's not this.
- Let me see the other page.
- Leisure...
We need the main title!
- There has to be!
- There's nothing!
- Madeinusa, there's nothing.
- There's nothing here.
Could they have covered it up?
Damn rich people! Makes me animus!
That's it! We're going to make
an anonymous statement.
We'll put it all up on the internet.
So we'll put it on "Tic Tac".
- Come here.
- I like that.
I'm going to break into
the system in Congress.
We'll do a live feed
and you'll be the spokesman.
Guys, you know I'm afraid of ghosts,
so how can I be a "spook" man?
Knucklehead, it's nothing like that!
You're going to tell the viewers
about all the rotten things Robalo did.
- You're going to cancel him! Get it?
- You're going to be in a video...
- Inside the video?
- And you'll speak live.
Hey, Made, you should wear
a mask, you know?
These guys are dangerous.
So nobody can recognize you.
I have one...
Look, here's the mask.
Jeez! The mask is your face!
Yeah, but they'll think it's someone else
wearing my mask. Get it?
Knucklehead! Of course not!
They'll think it's you! Because it is!
Only an idiot, someone really stupid
would wear a mask
with his own face.
- Exactly.
- The transmission is starting!
You are live to the world, Madeinusa!
Now is your time! Shine, man!
- Make your name!
- That's right!
Ladies and gentlemen!
I am Madeinusa, or rather, I'm lying!
I am Anonymous!
I look like Madeinusa! Yes!
I am me, Anonymous is the anonymous
and Madeinusa is Madeinusa.
And I'm here to spill the beans.
I am here to tell you
who these corrupt politicians really are.
And I'm going to cancel them now!
Once upon a time,
there was a bad man named Robalo.
He was bad!
He had a friend called Neldson...
and he was also very bad!
The two were always
doing evil things together.
They went after the bulls.
Rubinho Barichello had the lead!
But the bull was already there...
- Madeinusa!
- That's Madeinusa, he's great.
- Nobody can take it anymore!
- Us, from construction...
Bravo, Madeinusa.
- I knew it!
- He's what the country needs.
- To straddle...
- An earnest man.
Am I speaking with
Detective Madeinusa?
Of course, I'm with
you. I trust you.
Straddling a bull.
Madeinusa for president.
Madeinusa saves a nation of bulls
and everybody says:
"That's our detective! He's our hero!"
And they lived happily ever after!
THE END.
T-H-E-E-N-D.
I mean, more or less the end,
there's the scenes on the closing credits!
It was meant to be a surprise, idiot!
I mean, no, there are no credit scenes!
I was joking.
But there are some. Jesus Christ!
Don't move.
There is more coming. I'll just say:
the movie is only over when it ends.
DETECTIVE MADEINUSA
- Go! Take it! The customer is waiting!
- Let's get to work!
- I'm starting now, jeez!
- Smile!
About time! About time!
Front page, man.
Well, well, well.
Look what we have here, my dear Uston!
Things change, huh?
That's right, Madeinusa.
You know, I look at the news
and I can't believe it, man!
We're professional detectives!
To our friendship!
To our friendship!
Who said you're my friend, Madeinusa?
How so, Uston?
We went through it all together.
We were fired together.
We caught the suicide bomber together.
We solved the mystery
of the bull together.
And you tell me that I'm not your friend?
Am I not your friend, Uston?
That's where you're wrong, Madeinusa!
You're not my friend.
You...
are my best friend, Madeinusa.
Jesus Christ, hey man!
Go embarrass a bull, Madeinusa!
Translator: Fernando Arraiza