Dream Wedding (2023) Movie Script

Welcome ladies
and gentlemen to the
Annual Calgary
Wedding Fair.
Please visit all the fabulous
vendors who will give you
lots of great ideas
for your wedding.
And you'll wanna stick around
for our bridal fashion show
right here in
the main concourse.
Come see the latest
bridal fashions and trends.
You won't
want to miss it.
Of course, don't forget
to enter our draw
sponsored by
Calgary Modern Wedding Magazine.
I'm Bob Hines,
and I'm the editor.
One lucky bride and groom
will a $100,000 dream wedding.
So fill out your ballots because
we'll be announcing the winner
right after
the fashion show.
Best of luck
to all of you.
And fellas don't forget,
your lovely lady
is shopping
here today for you.
She wants to
look good for you.
And a happy wife
is a happy life.
So it's not just
ladies here today.
There's ladies,
there's men,
there's everyone and
there's champagne for all.
Oh my gosh, Katey,
this is beautiful.
Champagne-scented rose petals.
Oh, great idea.
Perfect smell
for a hangover.
We have a special
on faux rose petals.
Soft plastic, but
nobody can tell.
Well, talk to my sister.
She's getting married, not me.
Oh, I know, dear, I can tell.
We also hand dip
the chapel flowers
to match your hair color.
Oh, we're just having a
simple, quickie wedding.
My fiance is from Australia,
so he's gotta go back.
Last week.
I know, I know.
We're getting
married in two weeks,
then living in Australia,
it's all so exciting!
Right, Kate?
Uh, Planet Earth, Kate Wilde?
Oh, oh, sorry, I was
just looking around.
Are these fake?
Faux, not fake.
Oh my gosh.
They're so soft!
Both my younger sisters
got married before me, dear,
so I know how you feel.
Is that champagne?
Oh, yes, it's
delicious and it's free.
Let's go get more.
Hi there, hello!
Oh, wow!
Look at this.
This is smart, right?
'Cause like, you
can see everyone.
I agree.
These are so cool!
This is the one,
I like it a lot.
Wow, that's beautiful.
Oh my gosh.
- Look at you!
- Thank you!
Yeah, just one more,
just smiling.
All right, there it is.
Okay, so, I don't know,
maybe you want to get married
near the Eiffel Tower.
Oui, oui, non?
Or maybe you need something
a little more gnarly, right?
Hawaii?
Oh, yeah.
I can marry you anywhere
in the world, really.
I mean, if reality's not
good enough for your wedding,
just call me.
Well, actually it's just
my sister getting married,
not me.
Are you sure about that?
I don't know.
You know what, I'll even
throw in the lucky guy.
Oh, you and Jeff
look great together.
You met at a coffee shop.
Do you know him?
Is he single?
Megs!
Oh, I'm just kidding.
But you actually do know him?
Naw, I got him off the net.
But he looks like a Jeff, right?
Or a Colby, Trey?
I don't know,
good-looking people
always have good
looking names, don't they?
I mean, beautiful women
always have beautiful names
like Lorelei, or Vanessa,
or Megan, or Kate.
Hey, have you entered the draw?
No, I haven't, but I did see
this sign at the front door.
Sorry, eager bride.
Oh, Megs, this is for
a wedding in June,
you'll be gone by then.
Uh, we will.
But you won't.
What?
No, no, no, no!
Good luck.
You didn't.
Yep.
That's crazy, I don't
even have a boyfriend!
Well, you better
find one fast.
Wedding's in June.
Katey, chill, what's
the big whoopty-do?
What if I win?
Then you get like a
lot of cool stuff, look.
Massages, pedicures, trips.
Heck, half this stuff
isn't even for weddings.
Diamond rings,
floral arrangements,
and a custom
wedding dress.
The other half is.
Katey, there's like
1,000 names in there.
Relax.
Hello, ladies and
gentlemen, and welcome.
I'm Bob Hines,
and I'm the editor
of Calgary Modern
Marriage magazine.
And it's time for a lucky
lady to win her dream wedding.
Let's see who it is.
You are crazy.
And the winner of the
$100,000 dream wedding
is Kate Wilde!
Kate Wilde, is that you?
One word and you're dead.
Kate Wilde, you have to
be here to win, dear.
Kate Wilde?
Well, it's a big building.
I'll just give her a call
and see if she's here.
I had to.
It said to.
I am going to kill you!
I swear, nobody
will find your body.
And no jury would convict me.
A big day for Kate Wilde.
Kate Wilde, is that you?
Come on up here,
claim your prize.
Ladies and gentlemen,
Kate Wilde,
the winner of the
$100,000 dream wedding.
You won!
Ha ha!
She won!
No, no, there's been
some kind of mistake and--
No.
No, no, do you know what?
We're just gonna have
a little chitchat.
We'll be right back.
Thank you very much.
Must be wedding nerves.
She'll be right up here
in a moment, folks.
$100,000 dream wedding.
Kate Wilde.
Isn't it wonderful?
Megs, what are you doing?
I can't accept this!
Sure you can.
You won, fair and square.
They picked you.
I'm not getting married!
So?
Only you and I know that.
Look, do you see any
TV crews, paparazzi?
Outside of this building,
nobody knows, and nobody cares.
Like not even these
businesses care who win.
They're doing this just for
publicity and advertising.
Uh, excuse me?
Kate Wilde?
They're ready for you.
Is everything okay?
No, it's not.
Yes, yes, everything is fine.
She's just a little shy.
Could you just give
us one more minute?
Okay, yeah.
Thanks.
Katey, the next couple months,
what are you going to do?
Well, work?
No, no, I mean,
to meet people.
Specifically, single
men type people.
Office parties,
bars, Craigslist?
Okay, fine, what about
just going out on the town,
getting pampered and
waxed and massaged,
new clothes, new look,
$100,000 new you?
How does that sound?
But what about the other
women, the real brides?
Who's to say, by June,
you won't be a real bride?
History, logic, reality.
It could happen.
You're being pro-active,
make it happen.
Okay, fine, then do it for me.
I'm not going to see you
for a really long time.
Katey, this is a gift from God!
We can do all of this
fantastic stuff together!
God, Katey, for once in your
life, don't be sensible.
Live it up!
You could meet more people
and have more fun than
you've had in forever.
Okay, but you're
forgetting something.
What?
The wedding!
50% of the bride and
groom thing, it's missing.
Well, you just break up!
With who?
Raoul.
Raoul?
Raoul, Ted, Fred, it
doesn't really matter.
You just say that your
guy gets cold feet.
My darling Kate.
It's not you, it's me.
I'm just not quite ready
to commit but I hope--
Okay, spare me.
I know the drill.
Okay, I am crazy
to even think this, but...
Maybe, the day after you leave,
I could call them and tell
them that the wedding is off
and they'll have time
to find a real bride.
Yeah!
Go, Katey, go, Katey!
You are insane and I
am insane for listening.
Yeah, it runs in the family.
Look, Katey, you're doing this.
If you don't, you're gonna
regret it for your entire life.
Oh, I already regret it.
No more talk.
C'mon, let's go.
Let's go.
Kate Wilde has won a
$100,000 dream wedding.
And to get that, to come
up and get her prize.
Come on up, Kate!
We're back!
Sorry, everyone.
New bride nerves,
you know how it is.
Kate, are you here?
Oh, ladies and gentlemen,
our winner, Kate Wilde!
Congratulations.
Welcome.
Welcome, and congratulations
on winning $100,000 dream
wedding just for you.
Thank you.
Sorry, she's a little shy.
I am Kate's sister and I will
be accepting on her behalf,
so thank you.
Very nice of you.
A bridesmaid?
Uh, yeah, yeah, I sure am.
Look, we're in a
bit of a hurry, so-
Yes, I saw that, I saw that.
I saw you rush off there.
Now, Kate, it almost looked
like you did not want
to win this contest,
but that can't be right.
So tell me, Kate,
is your wonderful fiance
here with you today?
No, no, you know men.
They'd rather have
dental surgery
than be dragged
to this place.
My own fiance
refused to come.
Oh, so you're getting
married as well?
Yes, yes, I am.
He proposed last week.
Oh, that's wonderful,
congratulations to you both.
Now, Kate,
I'm sure you'd love
to have your fiance
standing right next to you
on this special day.
Why don't
we give him a call
and explain
to him all the
wonderful things
that have happened to you?
- No!
- No!
No?
- No.
- No.
No, we can't.
He is in Mexico.
- Way up in the mountains...
- Oh, the mountains, yeah.
by the ocean.
Yes, and there's no
cell phones there.
There's not even Internet.
- He's a doctor.
- A doctor, a doctor.
And he also builds
homes for the poor.
Awww!
Anyway, we really
have to go, so...
Builds homes for
the poor in Mexico.
Ladies and gentlemen,
I ask...
You must be so proud of him.
She is, she really,
really is.
She just can't stop talking
about him, except for right now.
So, we could
just gotta grab--
What's his name?
Raoul.
Raoul?
Raoul.
Yes, um.
Raoul DeCredenza.
Yes, six four, beautiful
blue eyes, great butt.
Sounds lovely.
Anyway, we're actually
on our way to the airport,
we've gotta go get him.
Andy, would you come up and
take a couple of photographs
of our winner please
and her sister?
How exciting...
Pictures.
Hi.
All right, right
there, and smile.
- Smile.
- Yeah, yeah.
There it is.
All right, well, congratulations.
- Although I thought that--
- Katey, go get the car.
Hi, yeah,
I just need this.
We need to
get to the airport.
Oh, please allow us to
take you to the airport.
- No.
- Please.
We have a stretch
limousine at your disposal.
A what?
A stretched limo.
A limo.
A limo.
Yes.
Actually, we can just take
a couple more pictures.
Couple more pictures.
Andy, if you would.
All right.
Yeah, not a problem.
You know the drill,
right in the lens,
and the smile thing again.
Uh, yeah, say "I love weddings!"
I love weddings!
I love weddings.
Stretch limo, baby!
Every Sunday
until the Big Day.
You mean, our court
date, when we get sued?
What do you
mean we, stranger?
I've been carjacked,
taken hostage.
I can't believe I let
you talk me into this.
Oh yes, a limo, champagne.
You poor thing.
I swear I am an only child.
You must have been adopted
by some depressed Swedish
Puritans or something.
Mom, Dad, my friends.
Oh, Kate, nobody knows
except for you and I.
And even if someone does find
out, what's the big deal?
You won a big prize
at the Wedding Fair.
Yeah, a wedding.
Usually, that
involves two people.
Oh, let's have
lunch at La Gavroche.
French food, Kate, we're
going to eat French food!
Oh, I am so having this.
What is it?
I have no idea, but it's
100 bucks, so must be good.
Oh, you and Dave go.
We can't.
You have to be there.
You're the bride, remember?
We're here.
Uh, where?
The airport?
Right.
Thank you.
First time in a limo, and
nobody we know sees us.
Thank God.
Need help with anything?
Yeah, actually you
can just take us back.
Take you back? But--
Sorry.
No, no, thank you so
much for the ride.
We're okay.
Yes, thank you.
It was lovely.
We'll see you
next Sunday, right?
Hey, what are you
doing in June?
Sorry.
She was dropped on
her head as a baby.
You know, maybe stuck a fork
in a toaster at one point.
Anyway, thank you so much.
Limo is beautiful.
You take care now,
we gotta catch our flight.
Our bags are in there with
our fiance, that's fine.
Thank you.
Take care now.
Okay, we have had our fun.
Uh, no, we are
just getting started.
No, we are not.
We are going home.
Wait, weren't you supposed
to meet Dave after the fair?
Oh my gosh, with everything
going on, I totally forgot.
Hello.
Hi, uh,
we're at the airport.
You're where?
At the airport.
We don't have our car.
It's kind of a long story.
Megan, I'm
at the consulate.
You need to
be here with me.
Crikeys, we got like
a million things to do
and you go to the
bloody airport?
Where's your car?
At the fair.
We drove here
in a stretched limo.
It was fantastic!
I don't give
a rat's back...
I don't give a rat's back side
if flying dingos took you!
Megan, you've got to
be more responsible.
Just, just get here
as fast as you can.
Okay, bye, I love you.
We need two taxis.
I've gotta go
to the consulate.
Passport stuff.
You okay?
Just stressed.
The wedding, the trip.
We've fought more
in the past six days
than we have in the
entire six months.
God, 60 million men
in this country,
and I marry
an Australian?
But I'm glad
we won this thing.
It was fun today, huh?
Raoul DeFirenza?
DeCredenza.
Raoul DeCredenza.
Six four, blue eyes.
Yeah, buns of steel, I know.
You are a nut.
Why couldn't you have
gone with John Smith?
That name, they
can't check up on.
Who, the wedding cops?
Nobody cares, Kate.
In two weeks, you and Dave will
be split up, and it's over.
What?
It was a good idea.
Uh, no, Meg, you said
Dave, not Raoul.
Oh, nobody cares what
you call your fake husband.
The next two weeks, sis,
you and me are going to
bump it like a trumpet.
Am I right?
Relax.
Nobody knows but us, okay?
And I'm not gonna tell a soul.
Unless we get caught.
Then I talk.
I'm kidding, I'm kidding.
Look, I'll call you
when I'm done, okay?
And tomorrow, first thing,
we're going to the spa.
Maybe the
day after you leave,
I could call them and tell
them that the wedding is off
and they'll have time
to find a real bride.
Yeah.
That's perfect, thank you.
Feeling better?
Less paranoid?
Kinda, yeah.
Good.
I was worried you'd enter into
a Witness Relocation Program.
Again...
Congratulations.
It is a shame that your
fiance couldn't join us.
So, will you guys
be ready to order?
Megan, you go.
Hello?
Is this Kate Wilde?
Yep, speaking.
Hi, Kate, it's Bob Hines,
editor of Calgary
Modern Wedding Magazine.
You must remember me,
we met yesterday.
yes, yes.
Have you used
any of your prizes yet?
Don't touch the wine!
Why, what's wrong?
It's the wedding fair,
they found out.
Mr. Hines, I'll pay it
all back, every penny,
even for the wine.
I'm sorry.
You know, I'd been drinking,
I wasn't thinking.
Please forgive me.
I'll deal with this later.
Mr. Hines?
Hello, Kate, Kate?
I'm sorry, it's just
a madhouse here today.
Now, Kate, we're gonna need
photographs of you and Raoul.
It's for our June issue.
Andy Swenson is going
to be the photographer,
he'll take the shots.
And I certainly hope
you're enjoying your gifts.
We're fine, they don't know.
No, I have to tell him.
Mr. Hines--
- Give me that.
- Hey!
Hi, this is Megan,
Kate's sister.
Do you always speak for Kate?
Yes, I do.
We'll get you those pictures.
But we gotta go, bye!
Okay.
Charming lady.
What are you doing?
Give me that!
No, Kate, we're fine.
- They don't know.
- They will soon.
Give me that!
No, Kate, look.
They just want pictures
of you and some guy.
What's the big deal, you guys
are gonna be broken up anyway
by the time the
magazine comes out.
They'll just pull the photo.
What photo?
And what guy?
Any photo, you and any guy.
Dave!
Dave will do it.
He's tall, he's good-looking,
he's got a great butt.
Megs, what do
we tell him, huh?
How do we explain to him
that he's posing for
wedding photos with me?
Megan?
Oh my gosh,
he already knows.
You already told him.
Katey, I'm sorry,
I had to tell him.
He was so mad
at me yesterday.
Look, you should see
our passport pictures,
we were both so upset,
we look horrible.
You know, these
past couple days,
I don't know if I'm
doing the right thing.
Megan, he loves
you and you love him.
I know, I know.
It's just with him
proposing and me leaving,
it's just all
happening so fast.
And God, in two
weeks I'm going to be
in a whole different
country with a husband!
And without Mom, without Dad,
without my big sister.
I'm such a baby,
I can't stand it.
No, no, no.
You're actually very brave.
I'm the one who's
backed out twice.
Heck, look at me now.
I can't even go through
with a fake wedding.
Did you tell anyone else?
Megs.
What, is it all
over your Facebook?
No, no!
Just one little
e-mail, to Vicky,
but I swore to her,
complete and total secrecy.
I can hear 100 Twitters
spreading the news.
No, Kate, that's
so not happening.
Look, Dave and I will
come to your work tomorrow
and we'll take some
pictures of you guys.
Nuh uh.
They want the photographer
from the wedding fair,
you know, the guy
with the beard?
All right, sure, we'll do it.
You and Dave should
totally have a fight!
You know, like a
little argument.
That way, it sort
of sets the seeds
for the eventual breakup.
What do you think?
I think we're both gonna be
wearing straight-jackets soon.
Oh, Kate, it's just
13 more days, and then...
I'm sorry, I caught
Frozen Female Feet.
Wedding's off, bye!
Give me that.
Where's our waiter?
I'm hungry.
Hey, guys.
G'day, darling wife.
Oh yeah.
Look, thanks for doing this.
I know it seems crazy but
Megan talked me into it.
Me too.
I was going to refuse
but then it dawned on me,
things just might work out.
Oi, crikey, not even
bloody well married yet.
All right,
we should get going.
I only have an hour.
Katherine, sorry, excuse me.
Before you go, these
rental contracts.
What about them?
Well, you see,
there's an important
disclosure
failure here.
Your wedding!
Surprise!
What are you talking about?
Oh my God!
And you must be the lucky man?
Am I?
Speech,
speech, speech, speech, speech,
speech, speech, speech,
speech, speech, speech!
Uh, listen, guys,
this is very nice of you,
but you didn't have
to do this because I-
Oh, we know.
I mean, what could
we possibly get you?
You already have
everything you need.
Actually, I don't.
That's the problem.
Wow, this is embarrassing.
Bottom line, I'm
not getting married.
You know, I'd been drinking,
I wasn't thinking,
and I made a very big mistake.
Guys, guys, come on,
you'll work through this.
Megan.
They're just going through
a little bit of a rough patch.
Megan, I will push your
head through a rough patch,
if you don't shut up.
It happens to all
couples before weddings.
You know, the stress,
the travel, passports.
But I'm sure these
two will work it out.
We just have to talk,
we'll be right back.
I'm sure it'll work out.
I mean, trust me,
I'm a bit of an expert.
Been married three times.
You do have a
pre-nup though, right?
You are embarrassing me
in front of my co-workers.
Megan, this is over,
done, finished.
See this?
Take a good look!
I am in the paper,
for goodness sake!
What, some neighborhood rag
that maybe 10 people
will ever see?
They saw it!
Anyway, I told them that
I'm not getting married,
so this is it, it's over.
No, Kate, it's not over.
Not until we tell
the wedding people.
And we'll do that
after we have our fun.
Look, Kate, you agreed
to do this, come on!
That was before my
co-workers found out
that I'm marrying
my sister's fiance.
They don't know who Dave is.
They will in two weeks,
when they see you two in the
paper cutting wedding cake.
So they'll just think he
moves fast and that I'm a tramp.
Look, I'm leaving
anyway, remember?
I'm not!
I have to deal with this.
Look, Megan, I love
you, but you are 26.
It is time for you to grow up.
You mean, be like you.
What's that supposed to mean?
What, you don't
want to be boring,
sensible, and afraid
of commitment?
Geez, what's so bad about that?
The only thing worse would be
an irresponsible, immature girl
who'd marry a man she's
only known for six months.
Sounds great.
Sign me up.
I did!
This is ridiculous.
I can't believe
we're arguing about it.
I know!
Look, if you want
to call it quits,
and break poor
Dave's heart, do it.
At least we had one fun day.
Well,
I did tell the truth
about me not
getting married.
So if you're going to guilt
trip me into having fun,
we better go get my
future ex-husband.
Um, yeah, before
he dumps us both.
I'm sorry, but if you
don't have an appointment
with Mr. Hines, you
can't see him today.
He'll want to see me.
Mr. Hines!
This is gonna be great.
I have thought
this all through.
Dave, you're really
going to pretend
to be Raoul DeCrendeza?
Si, senorita.
No problemo, love.
What?
A subtle hint of
Aussie poking through?
Just a wee bit there, mate.
Actually, Dave and I
have come up with a plan.
Right, honey bunny?
Right, pookie-bear.
What is that plan?
A good one.
Just let me do the talking.
That's how I got into this
mess in the first place,
so please tell me the plan.
I can't believe
you don't trust me.
Look, when we go in there,
Dave, I mean, Raoul
speaks no English.
Right, and then how
do we talk to him?
Should've made him a mute,
then we could've
used sign language.
It's true.
That's a right bright idea.
What?
It is.
So what do we do now?
Come on, love,
it doesn't matter.
This photographer
bloke won't care.
No English it is.
Let's go.
Hello?
Andy?
Guys, it's gonna be great.
Anybody here?
Hello?
Yeah, be right there.
Hi.
Hi, I'm Megan.
- I remember.
- Hi, Megan.
And hi, Kate.
Good to see you again.
You must be Raoul?
Tell me, how does it
feel to be the winner
of a $100,000 wedding?
Raoul does not
speak any English.
Or Spanish.
Really?
That must prove difficult
working in Mexico.
Saving children.
Um, yeah.
Look, we're in a
bit of a rush, so...
Oh, yes,
the pictures, right?
Yeah well, hey, I saw
you guys walking in,
took the liberty of just
grabbing a few candids.
Got one here that's-
I think really special.
This is gonna be one
interesting wedding album.
Yes, you see,
in Raoul's country,
men kiss the
bride's sisters.
Megan, give it a rest, okay?
We're busted.
Yeah, I reckon so.
Sorry, mate.
Feel like a bloody fool now.
Oh, I mean, he speaks
kind of English.
Hi, Andy.
- Where you from?
- Australia.
Dave Whyte.
Megan and I are
getting married.
And I am not.
But I think I told you
that at the fair, didn't I?
Yes.
You must think we're
idiots, or crazy.
Or both.
Actually,
I'm just more curious
as to why you even
entered the contest.
Oh, I didn't.
No.
Look, I never thought
that she would win.
And when she did, I thought,
meh, we'll just have some fun,
and maybe she'll
meet a nice guy.
I was only going to
do it for two weeks.
That's how long Megan
and Dave are in town for,
and then I was gonna
have a break up.
And then they'd
pick somebody else.
Look, we didn't
mean any harm by it,
we were just having fun.
So please, don't
turn her in now.
Oh, like to the
marriage police?
Drop the ring, come
out with your hands up!
So you're not mad?
No, not at all,
this is hilarious.
You guys are great.
I mean, I've got a
warped sense of humor,
so as far
as I'm concerned,
you can just milk this like
as long as you need to.
- Really?
- Yeah.
Well, in that case...
No!
No, two weeks.
This has been stressful enough,
I feel like I'm actually
getting married.
Got that right.
No offense, mate, but what's
with all the bloody fooferall?
Matching bloody
teacups and napkins.
Christ.
Me and Megs are having
a simple quickie wedding,
and it's still a nightmare.
Uh, thanks a lot.
You know what I mean.
What should be so simple
usually just turns
into a cocked-up
footy scrum-bash.
A what?
I dunno, but I'm
going to buy a book.
I think what he's
trying to say is,
correct me if I'm wrong,
you want like a more simple
wedding, like Vegas style?
Just 50 bucks, five
minutes, you're out or?
50 bucks.
Hey, look.
A wedding is every woman's
once in a lifetime special day.
There should be roses, there
should be candles, and doves,
and it should be romantic.
Right, Kate?
Well, seeing as I'm having
a $100,000 wedding, I agree.
Katey, if you find
the right guy now,
you'll be quite the catch.
Except he'll have to
marry me in a few months.
And we all know how well
quickie marriages turn out.
We're wasting your time.
Very sorry
to bother you,
but it's very nice
to have met you.
It was nice to
have met you as well
and you're not
bothering me at all.
In fact, Kate, I mean, are
you into tall, handsome men?
She is, mate,
but I'm taken.
Okay, well, I work
with models all the time
so I was thinking, what
if I just spoke to a few
and told them that
they would be part
of this dream wedding
campaign, right?
And you just need to pretend
to be a groom for two weeks.
I mean, a lot of them would
probably come out for free
just to get their
faces out there.
Uh, yeah.
I don't know.
It's not a bad way
to meet somebody.
Oh my God,
it's a great idea!
Look Katey,
look at these hunks!
They're gorgeous.
Just like you, honey.
All right,
let's pick a hottie.
Oh, come on, Megs, I mean,
I can't just look at-
Wow, he's fit.
Uh, yeah.
- Uh, Glenn.
- Glenn?
Yeah, Glenn.
Yeah, he's a fitness
and sport model, but...
- No?
- No.
Trust me.
Oh, what about him?
Or him?
Or him, or him,
or him, or him?
Babe, babe.
I think she can
only choose one.
This coming from the
guy marrying two sisters.
Okay, guys, I don't
know about this.
I mean, yes, they are
very good-looking,
but I'm attracted to someone
with a good sense of humor,
and someone I can
actually talk to.
God, Katey, what's
wrong with you?
You drive me crazy.
You know, Kate,
I wouldn't judge
a handsome book by
its cover too quickly.
I mean, a lot of these guys
are students, pre-med, pre-law,
they're actually
pretty bright.
And they're hot!
Look, Katey, you so
totally have to do this.
Please?
I guess, maybe.
Yay, we can double-date!
So, Biff, how much
weight did you lift today?
A small country?
Belgium?
Either way, we still
have to be kind of careful.
Some of them are married,
some of them have girlfriends,
and then some of them are
married with girlfriends.
Yeah, I don't know
how that works.
Hello?
Kate Wilde?
Bob Hines, hi.
Listen, Kate,
I was just wondering,
have you and
Raoul had a chance
to get to the studio and get
those pictures taken yet?
Uh, no.
No, we haven't just yet.
Would you mind holding
on just a second?
It's the magazine guy,
he wants to know if we
took the pictures yet.
I really don't like this.
Bob Hines?
Yeah.
You mind if I take it?
Bob, hey,
it's Andy Swenson here.
Listen, could you call back?
I am literally just
about to shoot Kate
and her fiance right now.
Yeah, with a camera, yeah.
No, yeah, they're
a wonderful couple.
Yeah.
No, not a problem.
Yeah, absolutely,
I'll e-mail you
as soon as
I have the images.
Yeah, okay.
Bye.
Well, I mean, it's possible
that he suspects something?
Either way, we should probably
pick you a groom real quick.
No, no, no, if he
suspects something,
I really don't want to
get you into trouble.
No skin off my back.
I mean, as far as I'm
concerned, you came in,
I shot you and your fiance,
and he happens to be a model.
Yeah, what's the big deal?
You're gonna break up with
this guy in two weeks anyway.
Unless my
mail-order-husband plan works.
Pick a dude.
I'm sorry, Joanne, but our
photographer Andy Swenson says
that Kate and Raoul
are at the studio
getting their pictures
taken as we speak.
And I'm telling you
that that is a crock!
This chick ain't
getting married, okay?
Just listen again.
Oh, please.
The day after
you leave, I can call them
and tell them that
the wedding is off
and they'll have time
to find a real bride.
Let's go out for pride.
What, no!
No, that is not
what she is saying.
I'm sorry, Joanne, I don't
know what they're saying.
I don't know who
these people are.
All I see are feet.
And quite frankly, dear, I
don't know who you are, okay?
So, I don't
want to be rude,
but I think
it's time you left, okay?
If I can prove it,
will you give me the prize?
- What?
- Mr. Hines--
Do we have a deal?
Sure, yeah.
- Yes, yes?
- You will, you bet.
- Yes, yes.
- Sure.
Yes, Andy Swenson, yes!
Out of my way!
You have a
call on line two
and I need you to
make a decision
on these fabrics
really quick.
Uh, Kari, get that to
the printers, please.
As much fun as this is,
Megan and I still have
some visa work to sort out.
So, if you'll excuse us...
Um, I'll take this for you,
Katey, I'll help you out.
I'm sure she can handle it.
Really, it'd be no problem.
Nice to meet you, Andy.
You're a good sport.
Kate, see you later.
Megan, I'm gonna
need that back.
Thank you.
Need the other one too.
Thank you.
Have fun.
- You want lunch?
- Yeah.
You like
soup and sandwich?
I mean, it's not
fancy, but it's free.
Sure.
Follow me.
Aw, that was nice of
him to do that for Kate.
What?
Oh, come on, love,
you think if your sister looked
like a wallaby's backside,
he'd be doing this?
That bloke fancies her, wants
to give her the hard words.
The what?
The hard words.
I don't know what they bloody
well call it in this country,
but down under,
you put the hard words
to she that you like.
I cannot go to Australia.
I do not speak that language.
Oi, I had to learn Megan.
Like-oh-my-God, it's so
totally awesome, bye.
So are you telling me
that when we first met,
you put the
hard words to me?
Uh, love, it's
just an expression.
Well, it doesn't
sound very romantic.
And it makes me wonder
what kind of country
we'll be living in.
Trust me,
you'll love it in Oz.
You'll never
want to come back.
And then they
called my name,
and I just about
had a heart attack.
And then I realized,
no, I can't die yet,
I have to
strangle Megan first.
Well, I remember
thinking, wait a minute,
she just told me she was
single like 15 minutes ago.
How did she
meet a guy so fast?
But don't worry,
I'm used to that.
I've had women on
death row tell me,
"You know what, Andy,
"I'm just not ready for
a relationship right now."
I'm kidding, she wasn't
really on death row, yet.
I got a twisted sense of humor,
I told you that, remember?
It's probably why
I'm still single.
I know, huge shock, huge.
Actually, I am surprised.
No, really.
You're funny,
you're very nice.
Not that word.
What word?
Nice.
Yeah, it's usually followed
by the dropping of an F-bomb.
Friends.
Come on, you know
it's true, right?
Hey, Andy, you're really nice,
but let's just be friends.
It's a zone.
Yep, women want
the bad boy.
Well, that's not true.
Really?
Okay, please
look at exhibit A.
Look at his face.
Exhibit A, B, C.
None of them are smiling.
They're all going for
this police line-up look.
Okay, they're like,
"Hey Baby,
you wanna go on a date?
"Could end up in the
back of a cop car
"and I'll write
a song about it."
That sounds very appealing.
But it sells.
Listen, bad boys
are exciting, right?
Nice guys are not.
Woman want the challenge
of taming the bad boy.
Nice guys are already tame,
there's no challenge.
Okay, well, what
about bad girls?
What about 'em?
Other than,
well, God bless 'em.
I think that men
want the bad girls.
Well, good.
You know what?
I think men are just
trying to get a girl.
And it's hard, good or bad.
Well, if you feel
that way, Andy,
then why don't you
just become a bad boy?
You know what?
I try.
How?
I drink straight
outta the carton.
Come on.
Yeah, I don't
even use the glass.
I'll have an After Eight
dinner mint at five-thirty.
I don't care.
Yeah, you know what?
I'm going to try the
face, brace yourself.
That's terrifying.
I can't do it.
Good.
Women don't
want a bad guy.
The problem is
that most nice guys are
too shy to ask us out.
Trust me, Andy,
stay the way you are.
No, I'm serious.
Women want a man like you.
So you notice how
I put him in front?
Yeah, she was nine
months pregnant.
Practically had to use a fish
eye lens to take a picture.
Yeah, they would not
speak to each other.
Not even sure if they're
together anymore.
I mean,
God only knows how many
of these couples
are still together.
See, marriage in and
of itself is beautiful.
The marriage industry, whew!
That's another machine.
I mean, what kind of
business can survive
on a 50% failure rate?
But it just keeps on thriving.
It's the repeat business
that keeps it going.
How about yourself,
you ever been married?
No.
How about you?
No.
I could've been married twice.
I backed out both times.
Why, were they nice?
Sorry, I'm sorry!
It's a family habit,
I can't help myself.
Okay, I think I understand now
why you didn't marry those men.
They didn't survive
the engagement.
Kate and Raoul getting
pictures taken today?
I don't think so.
Hey, you know what?
Maybe you would be
interested in meeting Paul.
He's a fitness instructor,
pretty smart when
it comes to fitness.
Anyway, he's five minutes
away, you wanna go meet him?
You mean today, like now?
Yeah, today, like now.
Oh, no, no, no, no.
I mean, I'm dressed for
work, not to meet someone.
You look great.
Not today.
You don't have much time.
I mean, you got two weeks
before you have to
break up with someone.
I know, I know,
but what if he says no?
To pretending to marry you?
What kind of guy
would say no to that?
No, c'mon, c'mon, it's not far.
C'mon.
I mean he's
a physical trainer,
but he's not like
a mean fitness guy.
He's not like "Hey, your
earlobes are soft and squishy,
"get down and give
me 1,000 push-ups!
"Do it!"
I never thought
about them before.
Another thing to worry
about when I meet him.
Thanks a lot.
You're okay.
Andy, I don't usually go
for that macho man type.
Never have.
Okay, okay, I got a plan.
All right, I'll go in
first and I'll talk to him.
All right, you just check
him out from a distance.
And if you don't want
me to introduce you,
then give me a signal.
Okay, like?
Yeah, that works.
So if you do that, then
I won't introduce you.
So if I don't
like him, I do this?
But what if I do like him?
Just come over and
say hi or talk to him.
Or tackle him?
- Okay.
- Okay.
- All right.
- All right, let's do this.
But they are
soft and squishy!
He's never not here, so...
Okay.
There he is.
Hey, Paul.
Yo, Andy!
What's up, dog?
What's up, bro,
you chilling?
You maxin'
relaxin' or what?
Yeah, just maxin'
relaxin' all cool.
Shooting some B-ball out.
Yeah, you know what?
It's good to see you,
I'm gonna go.
Oh, hi.
Hi.
Hi. Paul Thompson,
this is Kate Wilde.
Hi, Kate.
It's nice to meet you.
Hi, Paul.
Oh, is this a shoot?
Where's your camera?
No, no, I'm not working.
I didn't think
you were a model.
Well, I mean, you're not
dressed for a booty call.
And you don't
have that fake bored
"why is everybody staring
at me" look on your face.
Oh, no.
So what
brings you two in?
Andy.
Um.
Yeah?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Paul, listen, this could
come across really awesome.
This could be awesome.
Hey, would you be
interested in pretending
to be Kate's fiance?
I mean, you'd have
a fake name, of course,
like Raoul DeCredenza.
What are you two up to?
Kinda like,
acting in a play?
Yeah.
I'll be the groom,
and she's the bride?
Yeah, I mean, unless
you want to switch roles.
We could lengthen the dress,
shorten the pants.
I mean, would your
girlfriend or wife mind?
Oh, no, no,
they wouldn't care.
I'm just kidding,
I'm single.
So Raoul DeCredenza?
Yeah, that could be cool.
I am an actor.
I do a little bit of bit parts.
You know, like this bit,
like that bit, like this bit.
Little body doubling, you know?
Yeah, Paul's been an ass
in a couple movies now.
So two weeks, huh?
Sure, if you want.
Sorry?
I mean, yes, until
my sister leaves.
Then we'd break up.
All right, let's do it.
Could be fun.
Besides, we wouldn't have to
go through with the real deal.
Oh, no.
Well.
And, Kate, you look good
now, but two weeks with me,
maybe you'll get in
better shape, right?
We're gonna go.
- Yeah, thanks.
- Sounds great.
- Yeah.
- Next time.
Yeah.
Bye, Paul.
Back that way.
Yeah, later.
Raoul DeCredenza.
Yeah.
Might get in better shape?
What did he mean by that?
It's his job,
he trains people, I...
He shouldn't
have said that.
I mean, he said you
looked good though, right?
So, other than that,
what'd you think?
Well, other than
calling me fat?
Yeah, he's nice.
Oh, well, I guess when
you're a Viking warrior god,
you can afford to be nice.
Well, we'll see.
I mean, yes, he is
very attractive,
but I don't judge a man
based on looks alone.
Uh, Kate?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay, start from
the beginning.
He is so beautiful.
Incredible eyes,
amazing smile.
And his bod?
Oh my god.
Wow.
It's like the statue of David.
Except with arms.
That's the Venus de Milo.
Oh, whatever.
Tell me more.
Okay, well, you
know how I hate
when guys are like
"Yo dog, wus'up bro?"
Oh, yeah.
Well, he did that,
and I just stood there
smiling in a daze, like--
Like you lost your
mind and became me?
Exactly.
Megs,
this is ridiculous!
This is just a
physical attraction
that isn't
going anywhere.
The smartest thing I could
do is simply walk away
and never look back.
So when you seeing him?
Noon tomorrow.
So we have to go
shopping like now.
I know the perfect place.
Andy?
Andy, it's Kate.
Yeah.
- Yeah, hi.
- Hi.
Wow.
You look beautiful.
Oh, thanks.
Is Paul here yet?
- No.
- Good.
What?
Nothing.
Kate isn't here right now.
I can take a message.
Your name is?
Oh, no, that's okay.
It's not about work.
I just wanted to make sure
that I had the right Kate Wilde
to send a wedding present to.
This is her, correct?
Yes.
Yes, that's Kate.
Oh, so you've
seen this before?
Sure have.
Big surprise.
Really?
Why?
- Well-
- Uh huh?
First time
any of us heard--
Uh, sorry, how
do you know Kate?
Damn thing.
It just never stops.
I gotta take this,
so I'm gonna come back later.
Thanks, little girl.
Maybe he changed his mind.
Maybe his battery
died, I don't know.
Did you take these?
Yeah, yeah,
it's my more artsy side.
Too bad it doesn't
pay the bills, huh?
They're beautiful.
Thank you.
I tend to use film
for a lot of 'em
just cause it has a
better look, you know?
- You still use film?
- Yeah, absolutely.
I mean, every time I go in,
all the photographers,
the young guys,
they're always like,
"I thought an asteroid
took you all out."
I'm like no, just let
me buy the film, please.
So, then I go out
in the wild and I just shoot.
I love it.
I live for it.
It must be great
to have something
that you're so
passionate about.
Yeah.
Sometimes it costs a lot.
Don't worry,
he's coming.
- You sure?
- Oh yeah.
I got a shiny camera
and light set up.
Guaranteed,
he's on his way.
I start work on Monday,
so it'll be a short honeymoon,
but I reckon Christmas
break, we can hit Bondi?
Beautiful bonzer
beach, you'll love it.
The beach at Christmas?
Love, you'll be roasting.
But Christmas is supposed
to be cold and snowing.
Not back home, it isn't.
Ah, sun-block and a
floppy hat, no worries.
Um, I've been thinking.
Oi, what now, love?
What if, after we get married,
we go to Australia later?
Honey, you know we
can't go back later.
Even with us married, I still
have to leave this country.
But I can come later.
Of course, I'm still
gonna come and meet you,
it's just not quite yet.
Look, I love you, and
I want to be your wife.
- But--
- You're a little nervous.
I'm a lot nervous.
I lose one more nerve,
I go up to panic.
And, and when would
you come join me?
How long would it take
for you to be ready?
I...
I don't know.
What if we go to Hawaii?
It's a state,
it's about halfway.
I looked at a map.
Megan, I understand.
It's a big change,
and a big move.
But we can't get married
and then live on two
different bloody continents.
I love you.
And I want you on that
plane beside me, as my wife.
So, you have to decide.
He is so rude.
He's not coming.
He's coming, I just
turned the light on.
I have a craft table.
Hey guys!
Sorry I'm late.
Yeah, just really wanted
to rock it for your photos.
Oh, you are rocking it.
Thanks.
All right.
Speaking of
hitting it, Andy,
thought you said Kate
over here wasn't a model.
Oh, she's not,
she was here on time.
Oh, Andy, come on,
no, I don't care.
It's totally fine.
I am ready.
All right.
Oh, wow, what is that cologne?
It smells fantastic.
That's Contraction.
Contraception.
Something like that.
Contradiction?
Yeah, that's it.
Yeah, I'm wearing
it right now.
One time, I did
this department store
publicity
thing for them.
You know, spritzing people
as they were walking by.
I was in
a suit and tie,
the girls were dressed
like Hooter girls.
That's hardly sexist, huh?
Yeah, they were
telling the guys,
wear this and you'll
get that lucky lady.
And to the girls,
wear this and you'll
get that rich guy.
I should probably stop
wearing that stuff then.
You were wearing
a suit and tie?
Yeah.
Anyway, they gave me
a bucket of the stuff.
You guys want some,
you let me know.
Okay.
So what are we doing today?
Happy couple shots.
Yeah.
Okay.
Like this.
I do these
romance novel shoots.
With the hair-flying Barbarian
and the Princess stuff?
Right.
Do you like that stuff?
Ah, it's okay.
It's weird 'cause they
just take my photos
and turn 'em into drawings.
Do you enjoy that stuff or?
Depends on how
hot the girl is.
Half the time they're
fresh out of high school,
not much
to talk about.
Besides, I'm standing
there in my underwear,
holding this plastic sword,
feeling like a tool.
Yeah, I'll bet.
So what do you do?
Real estate legal work.
Compared to what
you do, it's boring.
Oh, but you got brains,
you're smart.
Me, I get a pimple,
or slack off on training,
I'm out of work.
Speaking of work, just
right in the lens, please.
Right here.
Uh, Paul, you gotta smile, okay?
There it is, happy couple.
Sorry, I'm not
used to smiling.
Everybody wants that
bad boy look, you know?
Oh, Kate doesn't
like bad boys.
No.
Okay.
So, hey, tilt your
head back when you smile.
Oh, right.
Let the light sparkle in your
eyes, reduce the shadows.
Yeah.
There it is.
Okay, next.
Just back up a little,
you're in my light.
Oh, I'm so sorry,
first time.
Oh, no,
you're doing great.
Doing great.
Mr. Hines?
Yes, Kari?
It's Joanne McKenzie again.
The wedding conspiracy lady.
Tell her I'm busy.
She said she'll wait all day.
Tell her I'm busy all day.
I should get danger pay.
And nobody at her work knew
until they saw that
picture in the paper, okay?
Because she wasn't
getting married
until she won that contest!
She was
just pretending.
You get that?
Yeah.
Yes, yes, ma'am.
Sorry, I just have to--
Read it back to me, okay?
Just read it back to me.
All of it.
I want to make sure
you didn't screw it up
before your boss gets this.
Hello?
Hello?
Hello?
You won't be smiling
when I rain all over
your cheating parade.
A quarter turn to the right,
show a slight profile.
And lean back to
tighten the abs.
Okay, that looks...
Okay, we're not selling
underwear though.
I know, sorry.
Hey, I been thinking
about this Raoul guy.
I'm seeing him as a
sort of an adventurer.
He's got this look
like he's always on the
look-out for danger.
Oh, what if he's always on
the look-out for Kate Wilde?
Yeah.
And then maybe just really
wanted to get to know her
and then talk with her and
maybe one day marry her.
Yeah, use that.
Oh, sorry, I thought
you were kidding.
No.
You know what,
just look at her
the way that
she's looking at you.
Like this?
Yeah.
So, she's single.
Oh, congratulations in quotation
marks, and then "wink, wink".
Well, soon, I'll be
sipping on champagne.
What else we got?
Nice, okay, next?
Okay, I'm going to go
have a look at those.
- I'll be back.
- Right on, that rocked!
Yeah, it was great.
Awesome, good stuff.
All right, see you later.
- Bye.
- Bye.
Hey, Kate.
He kissed me!
Um, where?
I need deets.
In the photo shop.
No, no, I mean where?
Like mouth, or cheek?
Mouth.
Open or closed?
Closed.
For how long?
Did it linger?
No. But it wasn't
like Wham Bam, either.
Just hang on a second.
Andy!
Yeah?
Thank you so much for today.
I have to get going,
but I'll see you tomorrow?
Yeah.
Where are you?
I'm coming over.
Bye.
Thanks for everything, Andy.
It was a fun shoot.
So were his eyes open?
I think so.
It happened fast.
But we spent 20 minutes
holding each other
and, oh, he smells so good.
And looking into
each other's eyes,
oh, he has beautiful eyes.
But what if he was just
acting, playing a part?
Like he was supposed
to kiss me, so he did,
but he didn't actually mean it?
Well did he say anything
before the kiss?
Um, thank you, that was fun.
And after?
See you later, see you
around, something like that.
The blood was kind of
roaring in my ears.
Now I know what
people feel like
when they get
hit by lightning.
But we are
meeting tomorrow
and doing a shoot
at a tuxedo shop.
A shoot, hey?
Is that what you, Cindy,
and Tyra call those things?
Megs, please,
this isn't funny.
He's gonna show up
looking fantastic
and I'm going to look like
some tongue-tied idiot
with fat earlobes.
Fat what?
Megs, supermodels
are the most
beautiful people
on the planet.
Of course they kiss
each other all the time,
I mean, why wouldn't they?
So, maybe in their world,
it doesn't mean anything.
Kate, a kiss always
means something.
Yeah, to us, it does.
But he's probably already
forgotten this kiss
that you and I are
dissecting to death.
I'm coming over right now.
- Okay.
- Okay.
Who is it?
It's me, you putz, let me in!
What's wrong?
Nothing.
I'm fine.
Don't look at me
like that, Kate.
Everything's all right.
You and Dave?
Oh, Megs.
Kate Wilde, legal department.
Kate.
Hi, it's Kari,
assistant to Mr. Hines
of Calgary Modern
Wedding magazine?
Your business gave
me this work number.
Um, okay.
Okay, we're having trouble
reaching Andy Swenson
for a photo assignment.
Are you gonna be seeing
him today or tomorrow?
Um, tomorrow
morning, at Topman's.
Topman's!
Great, good.
We will give him a
call when you're done.
Have fun.
Okay, thank you, bye.
Oh, but you
won't be having fun.
I bet mommy and daddy don't
know nothing from nothing
about any of this.
20 minutes late and he
takes forever to get ready.
Yeah, you get used
to waiting on models.
I can go get
him if you want.
Sorry, you two.
It's been a while since
I've been draped in gold.
Am I hitting this or what?
Yes, you are.
Oh my god.
Oh my gosh.
Mom, Dad, what are
you doing here?
For the pictures.
What pictures?
The ones with your fiance.
When the heck were
you going to tell us?
Excuse me.
What's going on?
How did you know I was here?
A woman called us.
From the marriage magazine.
Said you'd won some contest
and that we were to come here.
And get our pictures taken.
We couldn't believe it at first.
Until we saw that
picture on the Internet.
Picture?
What picture on the Internet?
Some little paper's website.
That lady told
us how to find it.
But, but, why
didn't you call me?
She asked us not to.
Said this was to
be a big surprise.
Oh, yes, it is.
We tried calling Megan, and
she's not answering her cell.
Would you two just excuse
me just for one second?
We need to talk.
Are those your parents?
The people I called Mom and
Dad, yeah, they're my parents!
They're awesome.
What are they doing here?
I don't know.
But supposedly you're
taking their photo later.
I am?
I don't know
anything about that.
Karma, honey.
When you lie and cheat,
it bites you in the butt.
How did you two meet?
You two don't...
What has Kate
told you about us?
Nothing.
By the way, may I say,
you are very handsome.
Are you a model?
I am.
And a fitness trainer.
I'm also a treasure
hunter in Central America.
Really?
Wow.
Where in Central America?
Oh, all of it.
It's a pleasure
to meet you two.
It's uh...
Unfortunately,
my parents couldn't be here.
They were killed
during the revolution.
Oh my heavens.
My Lord, which revolution?
The latest one.
There are so many.
Well, the magazine called
me earlier asking for you,
so I know that you
talked to them.
I never talked to
the magazine, I swear.
Okay, well, someone
told my parents.
And if it wasn't you, or
me, or Megs, or Paul, who...
Oh gosh, Paul.
Diving in the shipwreck,
there were sharks everywhere.
Paul.
Paul, what are you doing?
Just talking with your
lovely parents here.
Paul is the English
translation of my real name.
Raoul has been telling us
all about his adventures.
Really?
A model, a fitness trainer,
and a treasure hunter?
You sure our Kate won't be a
little bit too dull for you?
Thanks, dad.
Paul, can we just talk
to you for a second?
Of course, darling.
We'll be right back, okay.
What do you think you're doing?
Being Raoul.
You asked me to.
But not for my parents!
Why not?
What does it matter?
We're breaking
up soon anyway.
That reminds me,
what if Raoul dies?
He's fighting the rebels.
Paul.
Okay, a simple
break-up works too.
Look, I just can't
lie to my parents
about getting married.
You're not, we're not.
Come on, just let me be
Raoul for a little bit.
Kate, I work in a sweaty,
stinky gym all day.
It sucks like dead ducks.
Just give me this
little bit of a fantasy.
I agreed to give
you yours, right?
Just tell your parents
that you won a contest,
and then met me.
We're just figuring things out.
That's all true so far.
Come on,
I'm enjoying this time.
Especially with you.
Hugging?
Kissing?
Please?
Everything all right?
Yep, yep!
Yes, it's good,
just one second.
So, how did you two meet?
Um...
Katherine, if I may.
We met after I'd returned
from under-the-sea treasure
hunting for Cortez's gold.
Yeah, Paul, Raoul,
I don't think that my parents
are really interested.
Oh, we are very interested.
So have you ever
found any treasures?
I have, yes.
The most precious one.
Your daughter.
Now where was I?
Ah, Montezuma's gold.
Oh, great story.
Thought it
was Cortez's gold.
There is a lot of it.
I can't believe
I agreed to this.
I need my head examined!
Hey, I mean, your parents
seem to be quite taken
by Captain Jack
Sparrow over there.
You seem to be doing
quite well yourself, lass.
With Raoul, yeah.
With Paul, I have no idea.
Andy, it's driving me crazy.
He wouldn't be doing Raoul
if he was serious about me.
Raoul and I are breaking
up in two weeks.
Well, then maybe he just-
And you know, he's
kissed me twice now.
And then he said he's
enjoying this and me.
I just need to talk to someone.
Sure.
Excuse me.
Megs, pick up.
Her phone's been
off for two hours,
where could she possibly go?
I don't know.
Oh, Megs,
about time. Listen.
No, no, no, me first.
Dave and I are getting married!
Uh, duh, I know that.
No, I mean, like we're
getting married this Sunday.
Civil ceremony,
10 o'clock, Bridgewood hall.
Sunday?
Like, in a few days from now?
Yes.
We spent all morning
arranging it.
And right after that,
we're going to go on a week
long honeymoon in Hawaii.
But I thought you guys
couldn't afford that.
We can't.
But we've gotta do this.
Kate, the wedding stress
was just tearing us apart.
And we forgot the
most important thing,
just us being together.
So, for seven days, we're
going to kick back, relax,
and just be happy.
But I can't talk right now.
I've gotta call Mom and Dad.
Oh, well, I can
do that for you.
They're here with me and Paul.
What?
It's a long story.
I don't have time,
I have to go.
Kate, hey.
Raoul was just telling us
about now he nearly
escaped with his life
from a giant boulder and
it was kinda like a movie.
I'm sure it was.
Listen, everybody,
I have big news.
Wedding this Sunday.
Yeah, it's a little rushed,
but seven day
honeymoon in Hawaii.
Honeymoon in Hawaii?
It's at 10:00 a.m., Bridgewood.
Mr. Hines!
Mr. Hines!
It's me, Joanne McKenzie!
Remember?
The one who discovered the
fake dream wedding winner?
I just need a
minute of your time!
Website said you
were open till five!
I'm coming,
don't break my doors.
Kate knows that I'm on to her.
That I'm getting
closer and closer
to discovering
her little plot.
We have been through
this before, lady-
Just listen!
She's getting married
this Sunday, not in June.
What?
I heard it with
my own two ears.
So I think she's gonna
marry one of her friends,
go on a fantastic
Hawaiian holiday,
and then get
a quickie divorce.
You can come with me, see
for yourself, ask around.
In fact, you can even
ask Kate herself.
Joanne, good bye,
good night, get help.
If you don't,
I am going to go on TV,
I'm gonna tell the papers
that this contest is a fraud
and that you knew and
did nothing about it.
And then I'm going to sue
you and your little magazine.
And if I go along with you?
No lawyers,
no paper, no TV.
No more you?
No me, ever.
Why would Kate want a
cheapie civil ceremony
when she could have your
big, beautiful wedding?
See what she says.
This Sunday?
Sunday.
Ms. McKenzie.
You know, mate, I was
the first Raoul DeCredenza.
You were?
Yeah.
Got fired though.
Girls said I was
too good-looking.
Yeah, I hear that.
After today, I think
Raoul's gonna disappear
into the Amazon
jungle or something.
Paul, smile.
Just back up a little bit.
Okay.
Oh, that's great, yeah.
Oh my God,
he is gorgeous.
You mean your husband,
of course?
Uh, yeah, of course.
Okay, how do I look?
Oh, Katey,
don't make me cry.
If my mascara runs I'm gonna
look like some goth chick.
You ready?
Let's do this.
Okay.
About time!
Look.
It's a JP,
not a minister.
Come on.
Yeah, see, little faker.
Even had the nerve
to wear white.
Oh dear, oh dear.
- Well?
- Well, what?
I see someone
getting married.
I see Andy
taking pictures.
Yeah, well,
they're in on it.
I saw them
plotting together.
That's enough.
Now I kept up my
end of the bargain,
it's time for you
to do the same.
No, no, no,
no, no, no, no!
Where you going?
Home.
I came,
I saw, I'm leaving.
If that's what they truly want,
I'm more than happy with it.
Wait, wait, wait, wait!
You haven't talked to anybody!
Lady, you need help.
Now let go.
Fine. The prize is mine
and I'll prove it!
All right, sister,
tell me the truth!
Who are you?
And why are you over there?
Are you bloody mad?
Get out!
Bob?
Bob Hines, hi.
What are you doing here?
He's with me.
Here to expose this fraud.
This is a fake wedding.
No, actually,
we are getting married.
Who is she?
Stop it, stop it, stop it!
Everybody, please.
I'm terribly sorry, but
this is a tragic mistake.
Ask them.
Ask her!
Will you be quiet.
You are so insane!
Where are you going
for your honeymoon?
We've going to Hawaii.
And which hotel?
Uh, it's a youth hostel.
Well, not anymore.
You're staying in a five star
hotel in a honeymoon suite.
Everything's paid for,
food, drinks, all paid for.
If you want to drink
champagne all day
and eat caviar all day, then
by all means, you go ahead.
Oh my gosh.
Thanks, mate.
Whoever you are.
And you, we're
leaving right now
or I'm calling the police.
No.
They might be getting
married but she's not.
Ask her!
I am so sorry
about all this.
It's just not fair!
It's not fair,
you're leaving.
She's not getting
married in June!
Wait.
She's right.
I am?
I told you.
I told you, I knew it!
Really?
So, I get the prize,
like we discussed.
Yes.
I get the dream wedding!
Yes.
You can have it.
I don't need it.
Yes!
Now, Myron can't
say no to me.
I'm going to
call him right now!
Ah, 'cause he's
such a cheap turd!
Wow.
Mr. Hines, no one
else knew about this,
it was all just me.
And me.
Me too.
Me three.
Uh, four.
Kate, this was all my fault.
You can take back the
whole hotel thing.
It doesn't really
matter where we stay.
Is it all true?
- Yes.
- Yeah.
And Raoul?
Was he even real?
Well, sort of.
I'm Paul.
But I play Raoul.
Hello, Raoul.
Mom and Dad, I'm so sorry,
I'm not actually
getting married.
I thought it might
be too good to be true.
So this is how many now?
Oh, stop it!
Dad!
Runs in the bloody family.
Alright, everybody, Megan and
I still have to get married.
And we've got
a plane to catch.
So somebody
lock the bloody door
and let's do this.
Yes, let's do this.
Here comes the bride, Myron!
Pop the
champagne, baby!
Well, cheers to my baby
sister and her new husband.
I hope they
at least got
matching bunk
beds in the hostel.
Of course, they could've been
at a five star luxury hotel
if I hadn't opened
my big fat mouth.
Well, cheers to
big fat mouths.
Andy, you didn't
have to do that.
I wish you hadn't.
You say that now?
They all look so handsome.
Well, that's because
the photographer's
really, really good.
Yeah, I could probably
hook you guys up.
You're funny.
And very sweet.
Hello?
S'up, Kate, it's Paul.
Oh, Paul, hi!
I'm just at
Andy's and we're
looking at some
wedding pictures
and having some wine.
A lot of wine.
Hey, Kate, I been thinking.
I really enjoyed being Raoul
and hanging out with you.
I was wondering if...
Yes?
Well, if you wanna
hang out sometime.
You know,
nothing heavy, keep it cool,
and see where it goes.
Are you at
the gym right now?
Yeah, low reps,
little cardio.
You know,
just working it.
Your gym is
open at this hour?
No, no, no, no,
I'm alone.
Hey, you wanna come by
and work up a sweat?
You mean, work up a
sweat with no commitments?
Paul, are you standing
in front of a mirror
with a spotlight
on you right now?
Can you see me?
No, I can't.
Actually...
I don't want to come
by and work up a sweat.
Well, next time, maybe.
Yeah.
Later, maybe.
I overheard
a little of that.
You okay?
Yeah.
I guess.
Hi.
Hi.
I uh...
I wrote
something for you.
So, I'm just gonna,
just gonna read it.
Roses are red,
and violets are blue.
I thought I'd try on this
bad boy jacket for you.
I thought about striking
a pose, you know,
or maybe changing my
voice, shaving my beard,
but to be honest, that
just all sounded weird.
Oddly enough, I had
a really good time
trying to find
you another guy,
but deep down inside I longed
for the two week finish line,
where you would break up
because I felt like
I was the next guy,
the nice guy, in line.
And I just really wanted your
eyes to say hello to mine.
Now there was a
time you mentioned
that nice
guys were good,
but the problem was they
were too shy to ask girls out
and that,
that I understood.
I thought of all these
other things I could do.
But all I really want
is to just sit and talk
and maybe share another
grilled cheese with you.
So, Kate, would you like
to go out with me sometime?
You know
what I realized?
What?
I don't really
like leather jackets.
No?
You know what, me neither.
Take that off.
I tried.
It was a good try.
Thanks.
You did all that for me?
Yeah.
You're a lucky man.
Hey, you brought us together.
Now step back,
you're in my light, bro.
Hi.
Hi.