Dreaming of You (2024) Movie Script

1

[crash]
[garbage disposal]
[water droplet]
[sink squeaks]
[sigh]
All right, Miles.
Just go to sleep.
Go to sleep.
Stop talking to yourself
and just go to sleep.
Maybe I'll count sheep.
Okay.
One.
Two.
Nice try. That's a goat.
Doesn't count.
Three.
Faaa, this isn't working.
Maybe some white noise.
Some nice calming rain.
[rain sounds]
Some rain that's gonna make
all the sheep wet and smell bad.
And you know what? Forget it.
Forget it. Forget it.
[sigh]
You know, of all the
things to be bad at,
why do I have to be
bad at sleeping?
[Title Music Begins]
Staring into the darkness
Sometimes I go blind
Dancing with demons
I make up in my mind
Maybe it's true
I have an issue or two
When I do close my eyes...
Dreaming of you
Staring into the darkness
Sometimes I go blind
Dancing with demons
I make up in my mind
Maybe it's true
I have an issue or two
When I do close my eyes....
Dreaming of You
When I do close my eyes...
[Sinister bells chime]
[a heartbeat echoes]
[eerie music]
[growls]
[heartbeat quickens]
[growls]
Wake up!
[gasps]
[breathes heavily]
[sliding noise]
[pen scratching]
[deep breath]
[laughs]
I, I like your pajamas.
Oh, thank you very much.
Figured I better dress
for the job at hand today.
To-Tonight.
Plus, you got to rep the
polar bears while they're
still around. You know?
Plus...
they're really good at
breaking the ice.
[laughs]
I am so sorry.
That was the cheesiest
thing I have ever done.
Ever will do.
And, well, at least I hope
I ever will do. Um, I...
I am Miles.
Ren.
Pleasure to meet you, Ren.
Polar bear line was not
something I planned,
by the way.
Umm. No yeah, I figured.
I mean, only a psychopath
or serial killer would come here
to pick up women.
I am neither, luckily.
Just a little nervous
energy on my part.
Well, I wouldn't worry
too much.
It sounds like the easiest
possible test to take.
True. True. True.
So, what are you in for, Ren?
Unless you don't want to say.
Of course.
Sleep apnea.
Ah, what's that?
Sometimes when I'm
sleeping, I forget how
to breathe.
-Oh, yeah, that's important.
-[Ren laughs]
-Glad you're here.
-Yeah, you know, it just
slips my mind. What can I say?
-[Miles laughs]
And yourself?
General nightmare,
tomfoolery and
sleep paralysis.
Sometimes my mind wakes up
before the rest of my body
and I can't move at all.
Oh, well, not fun?
I'm used to it at this point.
But recently, and now
this is very interesting,
I've been getting
sleep paralysis,
plus, a shadow demon
crawling up
my body while I'm still
half asleep and
can't move.
I'm sorry.
A what?
A sleep demon,
dream hallucination. Yeah.
Absolutely terrifying.
As it sounds.
Yeah.
Okay, not to freak you out
even more, Miles,
but um...
Are you sure it's
a hallucination?
[Ren laughs]
And you have successfully
freaked me out just a little
bit more, Ren.
I'm so sorry.
Thank you.
We're ready for you, Mr. Puck.
Oh, great grand and amazing.
It was nice meeting you, Ren.
And I hope you remember
to breathe.
Maybe, like, tie a string around
your finger. I don't know.
Just throwing stuff out there.
Hmm. Well, good luck with
your sleep demon, Miles.
And maybe wear a
crucifix or something.
I mean, I don't know,
just throwing stuff out there.
[nurse] Now, those might be
a little uncomfortable,
but it is of the utmost
importance that you
keep them on.
You understand?
Okay.
Who's that?
That's Kip Van Winkle.
We let the kids sleep with
him when they're
feeling anxious.
He wards off bad dreams.
Helps kids feel brave.
[thud]
Hope you're good at
your job, Kip.
Definitely don't need
another bad dream.
[wind blowing]
[panting]
[growling]
[heavy panting]
[growling]

[tearing sound]
[panting continues]

[grunting]
[snarling]
Okay.
I'll say it.
They aren't very nice.
[Miles] Kip, can't you reason
with them?
Oh, I wish I could, but I
took three years of
polar bear in high school,
and the only thing I
remember how to say is,
"is anyone hungry?"
And I think we already
know the answer to that.
[Polar bear growls]
Luckily for me,
they only eat meat.
Wait, what happened
to your pillow?
I threw it at the polar bears
to slow 'em down.
Oh, no! Now, they have
a taste for fluff!
Please try and focus, Kip.
Just look around for
something to get us out
of this mess
because this is
NOT looking good!
Wait.
I think I see something
frozen in that iceberg.

It's a girl.
Well, that's very interesting,
but not pertinent at this time.
We have to help her, Kip!
We are about to be eaten
alive by polar bears,
and you're thinking with your
wiener because you see
a pretty girl.
I like where your
priorities are!
Now, we need a plan.
Ummm... Uh...
[chimes]
[cracking noise]
[chimes]

[sizzling]
[sizzling continues]
-[slushing sound]
-[thud]
Oh, my gosh!
You saved her!
I did, didn't I?
[growling]
Oh, my gosh!
You killed her!
What?
You thought she was cute,
so you killed her!
-No!
-That's some real serial killer
type crap!
Maybe if I...
[beaming sound]
[growling]
[sizzling]
[cracking]
[roaring]
Genius!
Use global warming
against them!
Their one true weakness!
I did it! I broke the ice.
I mean, I like to think of it
as a team effort, but okay.
-[ice cracks]
-Uh-oh.
[bubbling sound]
[chimes and growls]
[gasps]
So, last night was a
good testing night.
We clocked a couple of
anomalies throughout
your study.
It was one of those
anomalies when I got up to
fight a shadow monster
that wasn't there?
Because if not, I'd like to
politely suggest we jot
that part down.
Don't worry, that part is
well documented,
but we can talk
about treatment.
Would nightlight do the trick?
Unfortunately, not.
You know, from your results,
we believe
that all your symptoms are
caused by stress and anxiety.
Your mind is working
itself up so much that
you're creating an
adrenaline spike,
sending you into
fight or flight mode.
A little bit of a vicious cycle,
considering this is very
much stressing me out.
Well, my recommendation
would be to try to break
that cycle.
Find things to help you relax.
Look, there's medication.
I don't have health insurance.
Okay.
Alright.
Something else I want
you to do is keep a
dream journal.
Now, a lot of your dreams
may be manifestations
of the things that are
causing your anxiety.
So see if any patterns emerge.
Finding out these things is
the first step to taking action
to relieve some of your stress.
Okay. Keep a dream journal
and try and chillax
every now and then.
[nurse] Yep.
I can do that.
Okay.
And if it gets worse,
I want you to reach
out for help.
You understand?
[car approaching]
[breaks squeaking]
Hey, demon slayer.
How'd the match go?
Kicked my ass as always.
And how was your session
this slumber party?
Apparently, I need to buy a
CPap machine to wear at night.
So now I'm going to be a
mixture of Sleeping Beauty
and Darth Vader.
You know, as these things go,
I'm not a terrible mash up.
Mmm, still not super excited
about it oddly enough.
But hey, do you need a ride?
Ah, nah, I'm all good.
But appreciate the offer.
You sure? I have sleep apnea,
not narcolepsy.
Now, my ride's, like,
five minutes away,
and you might not want to
risk my demon switching hosts.
Hmm, good point there.
Okay, well,
sweet dreams Miles.
[Carter] You absolute moron.
What was I supposed
to do, Carter?
You were, like,
five minutes away.
Uh, ghost me. Leave with her.
Just a couple of options.
Send me a text that says,
"My deepest apologies, Carter,
but a cute girl has offered
me a ride home
and she has boobs
while you don't."
I would have loved to
get that text!
I also didn't want to
inconvenience her for
just being polite.
Just being polite?
Yeah. Being nice.
You cannot tell me that
that's all you thought that was!
From the way that you
describe it, it sounds like you
guys were quipping up a storm
in there.
Snappy patter and
sparks just flying.
I'm sorry I even
brought her up.
At least you got her
number right?
-No...
-You...
I'm going to kill you, man.
I mean, it wasn't
the right time.
You don't speak!
It was medical!
You don't speak, Miles!
Your sleep paralysis demon
wingmanned you!
Helped you!
For once!
And you spat in his
dumb, spooky face.
I hope he murders you
in your sleep tonight.
[thud]

[lamp clicks]
[box thudding]
[clanking]

[clanking]
[sifting sounds]

Okay, Miles, you dropped the
ball because your balls
never dropped.
But Detective Carter is
here to solve the case
of your mystery
sleep gasper.
I'm a little lost on what
this bit you're doing is.
Keep up. Your future wife.
I'm going to find her online.
Wow. You don't drop anything.
-[book slams]
No, I don't. What's her name?
Ren.
Ren what?
I don't know.
Do you want to die alone?
Okay, Ren's not that
common of a name,
so it'll probably be fine.
And she probably lives
relatively close to this
sleepy place.
We don't know that.
Bup bup bup!
Who's the detective
here, Miles?
No one here is a detective.
Detective Carter is the
detective. Okay?
Is she cute?
Yes.
Then this isn't her.
And if it was, I don't approve.
You're not going to find her.
Is this her?
-Yeah, that's her.
-Ha ha ha.
Detective Carter
earns his Ph.D.
Detectives aren't doctors.
Young Miles, now we get to
move on to the fun part.
Come on, dude. I don't want to
stalk a random girl I met in
a waiting room.
You don't have to
because I will.
Ren Helena.
Single.
Interested in men.
Good signs for you, buddy!
Although, with the confounded
hookup culture of the youths
today,
you just can't really
guarantee either of
those are exclusively true.
More digging.
This feels really creepy, man.
It is a little creepy.
Okay. Okay.
Good signs thus far.
She seems to be interested in
nature documentaries, at least
the animal stuff.
No signs of Nazi ism.
Dude, I think, uh-oh.
What?
Looks like we have
competition.
Two months ago.
"I'm so lucky to have this guy
always by my side."
Tagged Leo Oberon.
Well, there you have it.
She has a boyfriend.
That could be her brother or
cousin, or it could be a sassy
gay best friend, too.
Don't rule that out.
That is clearly a
boyfriend brag.
So, we can rest easy just
knowing she was
only being nice.
You should still friend her.
No. I shouldn't.
Well, I just did.
Come on, dude.
No, no, no.
Ren is my best friend now,
and I am going to set her up
with another friend of mine,
because that's what
good friends do.
Okay, bye.
[door clanks shut]
[thuds]

[scratches from the walls]
Carter!
The rats are in
the walls again!
-[scratching]
-[smacking]
[scratching continues]

[scratching noises]
No, no, no.
Stop being creepy.
[scratching]
[scratching]
[roaring]
[elephant trumpets]
-[engine idles]
-[breaks squeaking]
[Miles] The map says we should
go on foot from here.
And I have a feeling this is
where we're going to run
into her again, Kip.
The great hunter, prowls
the savannah, stalking his prey,
biding his time,
creeping up on his target.
Slowly, but methodically.
Kip.
Sorry. Just setting the mood.
And I'm not stalking anyone.
Okay?
Okay, okay.
Gotcha.
Good.
[African tribal music]
The lonely male prowls the
grasslands looking for a mate.
Animal urges raging.
Ready to pounce, but only if
it's consensual with his prey.
What?
[British accent] Adventurer
Miles!
'Tis I Detective Carter!
A pleasure to see you,
old chap.
Looking for that girl with
whom you broke the ice
I take it?
I just want to make
sure she's okay.
Don't buy it.
Not stalking, wink, wink.
Well, don't fret, sweat,
or lose hope, my pet!
I, Detective Carter, will
help you find her.
How are you going to do that?
Elementary, my dear
Van Winkle!
We shall consult the great
well of knowledge.
The basin of information
about everyone.
The Face-Brook.
I'm sorry.
Did you just say
the face...brook?
I am the mighty Face-Brook!
I am the place for babbling,
streaming and catfishing.
All gaze upon me for I control
your self worth!

Hello, Mr. Face-Brook.
My name is Miles...
I know who you are Miles
Puck from Media,
Pennsylvania!
My knowledge is vast
and invasive.
You are a single male and
you have been single for
three years!
I don't know if we need
to bring that up.
Your Aunt Joanne wants
you to know
she is very proud of you!
Ummm. Thanks.
She also hates black people!
Okay, we're getting really
off topic here!
Oh, mighty Face-Brook,
we're looking for a woman
by the name of Ren Helena.
Is this the person you seek?
Yeah, that's her!
Would you like to see
her in a bikini?
What? No!
Oh, come on, you
creepy stalker.
-You know, you want to!
-I don't...
I see you peeking!
You know what?
This is weird.
Wait, I have an urgent
message for you.
Okay? What is it?
Dudes you never hung out
with from high school
started a band.
Do you want to follow them?
No.
Oh, so you only stalk
pretty girls in bikinis?
I see how it is.
That's it! Forget this.
Everyone from your
hometown is getting
married except for you!
Why did I even go
to the Face-book?
All it did was make me upset.
I think that's secretly
why people like it.
Heard you were creeping
on Ren, you creep!
All right, now, who are you?
I'm Leo, and she's so lucky
to have me always
by her side.
You're not by your
side right now.
Shut up, bear!
Guys, get in here!
[growling]
Who are all of you?
This is my pride.
Oh, good.
He is just the sassy,
gay best friend.
Wrong there, bud.
[Face-brook] Kick his ass, Leo!
Everyone, get these creeps!
-[growling]
-[Miles] Ah!
[gasps with heavy panting]
[phone buzzing]
[sighs]
[chuckles]
[Miles] So, Vanya, last time we
spoke, we talked about looking
at other websites
to, you know, get us
started in that direction.
Yes, I didn't do that.
[chuckles]
I want our website to be
new, daring and different.
Yeah, no,
I totally understand that.
But actually, I can bring up a
couple of my old projects
and we can pick and choose
elements from those.
You know what I want to do?
I want to use those funny
pictures, those little...
You mean memes?
Yes, memes!
I want to use the memes!
Teenagers love memes.
I mean, I can build you a
meme section...
No, I want the home page.
I want to reel them in.
Okay, you know I have
so many that I've saved.
Let me just...
Miles, do we have a
new mutual friend?
Did you say something?
Nah, I'm just...
just looking at the code.
[Vanya] Okay, well, this one
might be a little too non-PC,
[Vanya laughs]
so I'm not going to
share this one.
Okay, this one's good.
[Carter whispering] I don't
trust you.
[Vanya] This one's good.
This one is too
sexual for this.
For the website.
I realize that. I can tell.
[slams]
This one maybe not
sexy enough.
This one's not sexy enough for
the website.
[whispers] Message her!
Okay. I sent you one
that's really good.
Did you get it?
Hilarious, Vanya.
Yeah, I know. It looks terrible,
Dave, but, you know,
I can't go against
what the client asked for,
and I guess what the client
asked for is gaudy.

Papyrus.
I didn't choose it, Dave!
Okay. Yeah. No, I'll change it.
I'll work on it tonight.
And this weekend. Yes.
Okay. Bye.
God, you're a dick.
Not that I had anything
else to do tonight.

I got to work.
Really need to focus.
Screw it.
[ding]
Hey there, Princess Vader.
How's sleeping with your
new facial accessory?
Wow, that was so dumb.
Yeah. Good job, Miles.
Bring up her
medical condition.
Smooth like sandpaper.
[ding]
[chair rattles]
Supposedly, I'm going to get
used to it, but for now,
it kind of feels like an
octopus giving me CPR all
night.
[ding]
Honestly, they make
the best lifeguards.
[ding]
Unless you're
allergic to seafood.
[ding]
True.
But that could be a plus if
you were trying to kill
yourself by drowning.
That was weird to say.
That was weird and dark.
[ding]
If that's your criteria
for good lifeguards,
then you should really look
into these creatures
called "sharks".
[ding]
Oh, do tell me more about
these "sharks."
They sound like great
babysitters for my
troop of baby seals.
-[clock ticking]
-[ding]
Oh, definitely.
They always show
up with a smile,
and they have a lot of
experience with
schools of fish.
-[ding]
-Well, that's good.
My last babysitter was a
killer whale and that did not
work out.
-[clock ticking]
-[ding]
If only there were some
indication in the name to warn
you of what they're capable of.
-[clock ticking]
[ding]
HAHAHA
In my defense, his resume
only said K Whale,
so I assumed his
name was Kevin.
-[clock ticking]
-[ding]
Hey, sorry for the delays.
My social media notifications
aren't showing up for
some reason.
But yeah, I totally get that.
Every whale I've ever known
has been named Kevin.
[clock ticking]
[ding]
Oh, you just want
to text some time?
My number is BEEEEEEP.
[ding]
Yeah, actually,
that'd be easier.
My number is BEEEEEP.
That didn't go too poorly.
A little more nautical
than I was expecting, but...
not too bad at all.
All right, back to work.
Hey, Vanya, I just got your
email about not being happy
with the new changes.
You want it to be more red.
And green?
Like Christmas?
No, it's not a
seasonal thing, Dave.
They're just like
her favorite colors.
Yeah. No, I can change it.
You wanted to play
Gangnam Style as soon
as you enter the site.
I'm sorry, Dave.
I didn't know you felt
that strongly about K-Pop.
Oh, no, I didn't know you
made your own music.
She calls it country
jazz, Dave.
[phone buzzes]
[Miles groans]
[phone buzzes]
[message pops]
Found your new babysitter.
His name's Bruce, not Kevin.
[message pops]
Finally, some good news.
I needed that.
The last few days
have been terrible.
[message pops]
[message pops]
Oh no. What happened?
Just work stuff.
The client has her taste buds
in her feet
and my boss doesn't want
the company's reputation
to be tarnished with her vision.
So, I just can't win.
[message pops]
I build websites, by the way,
just for context.
[message pops]
[message pops]
That sucks.
Bosses and clients suck.
[message pops]
You are preaching to the
choir, but sorry for bitching.
How was your day?
[message pops]
Hey, never apologize
for bitching.
It's a pastime in my family.
[message pops]
My day was good up until
my dryer died with all my
laundry in it while I was in
the shower.
So now I don't have a towel
and I'm walking around
naked trying to air dry.
[spits]
[message pops]
Yeah...
Dryers suck.
[message pops]
Seems super late to
be showering though.
[message pops]
Oh, I always shower at night.
If you take a really hot shower
then go into a cool room,
it helps you fall asleep.
As a fellow bad sleeper,
I highly recommend it.
[message pops]
I'll have to try it out
another time.
Unfortunately, I have a lot of
work to do tonight, so eh.
[message pops]
Then get back at it, Miles.
No rest for you.
Go build that awful website.
Your support is all I needed
to get through this, Ren.
Now, I got this.
Yeah, I got this.
Kind of...
[computer beeping noises]

[water bubbling]

[Kip] Captain Puck.
We have a visual on
the target sub.
Communication lines are up.
[Miles] Fantastic news,
first mate. Kip!
Now we can find out if she's
20,000 seas out of your league.
[Miles] Just keep steering,
second mate Kip.
[Kip] Yeah, that's fair.
[Mores Code beeping]
[explosion]
[explosion]
She's using
messaging torpedoes!
Kip, ready a response!
Readying a reply, Captain!
[explosion]
Well done, Kip!
End with a question to
keep the dialog going.
[explosion]
[explosion]
She's naked?
This is not a drill, people!
She's naked!
If we play this right,
we might see boobies!
[Slap]
Simmer down, Van Winkle!
We just started talking.
We need to play it cool.
Okay. Gotcha.
Hold the dick pic!
We're playing it cool!
[crowd] Awww!
[clang]
[explosion]

She's not responding,
Captain.
Oh, man, we didn't give
her anywhere to go!
We need to double torpedo!
Double torpedo?
But that's not playing it cool!
There's no time to argue, Kip!
The longer we wait,
the worse it'll be.
Just send
something out there!
[explosion]
Oh, no!
We went way too
far with that torpedo!
She's totally going
to be mad at us!
I'm sorry!
I got caught up
in the moment.
It's okay, Kip.
We were excited.
Now the only thing
we can do is wait.
[water bubbling]
[Kip] We [beep] up.
Wait! She's loading
another torpedo!
You're right!
I see it being loaded.
Finally.
[explosion]
[chomping clank]
Holy crap!
It's a shark!
Kip, get us out of here!
[beeping]
He's right on our tail!
We need to go faster!
I'm giving her all
she's got, Captain!
This is not good!
Oh, no!
We have a problem
up ahead, Captain!
What?
[Kip] Baby seals!
We don't have time for this!
Kip, launch the torpedoes!
[clanking jaws chomping]
[explosions]
[Kip] Out of the way, Kevin!
Sorry...
[clanking jaws chomping]
[Kip] Captain, it's a dead end!
[Ren] Do a loop for me.
[Miles] Excuse me?
[Ren] Do a loop or else I'll eat
you.
[Miles] Okay.
We'll do a loop!
[beeping]
No!
Don't do a loop.
Flip. Flip or else
I'll eat you.
Yeah, we'll flip.
[beeping]
Don't flip. Loop.
Don't loop. Flip.
No! Loop!
No! Flip!
I don't know what
we're supposed to do.
Wait. I think I have an idea.
[beeping]
[both] No!
That didn't work at all!
Now, neither is happy!
What do we do, Captain?
I don't know. I...
I just don't know.
If I do anything,
I'm in trouble...
[Morse code beeping]
Can I do nothing?
I just...
I want to do nothing...
Just nothing...
[bell gongs]
[eerie music]
[growls]
[growls]
Get to work!
[clattering]
[heavy panting]
Oh, shit!
[door opens]
[keyboard clicking]
Dude dude dude dude.
Come on.
My laptop is going to
be in the shop all day.
I mean, don't have all the
programs and assets I need,
but I think I can fake enough
of it to make it seem like
I'm still working to my boss.
Or you could tell him you
don't have a computer.
He will fire me.
No question about that.
He fired the guy who
couldn't get the job done
the weekend his mom died.
And his mom was like
straight up murdered.
Maybe instead of
pretending to work during
this forced time off,
you could use it to ask out
the girl you've been texting.
How?
I spent all my money on
the sleep study and
fixing my laptop.
Uhh, invite her to a movie.
Here.
She'll just think
I'm trying to make a move.
Oh, how terrible!
The girl you wanna make a
move on thinks you wanna
make a move on her!
[chuckles]
You're not going to get anywhere
with that attitude, man. For
real.
And look,
if she shows up
with a CPAP machine,
you know she's totally down.
[door closes]
[message pops]
Hey,
I promise not to make
a move on you,
but if you're free tonight...
Hey, your roommate
said to find you here.
Yeah, this is kind of
like my office.
Please come in.
Weirdly, I think I got a random
friend request from him,
like, two days ago.
Oh, that's super weird.
I don't know
anything about that.
But I set up the projector,
made some popcorn
to prepare...
the perfect movie night.
[eerie music]
You aren't going to
murder me, right?
Wasn't planning on it.
Good. Because I told my
friends where I am and they
expect me to check in.
Wait. Really?
Yes, really.
We've only just texted and
we met because you
hallucinated demons.
You could very well be
a serial killer for all I know.
And a lot of this
stuff is really creepy.
That is a solid point.
All right. Fine.
Movie can wait.
Let's get to know each other.
So what do you want to know?
How and why did you
accumulate all this junk?
Ah, that would be
my uncle, Carter's stepdad.
He was a weird dude
and an insane alcoholic.
Died about a year ago.
I'm sorry to hear that.
Ah, don't be.
He died doing what he loved.
Absolutely ruining
Thanksgiving.
-[chuckles]
-But,
you know, he left
Carter this house
and Carter is letting me
stay here as I, you know,
try and get my life together.
Save some money and stuff.
As for the junk...
we don't know what's
in half of these boxes.
And at this point,
we're kinda too afraid to check.
So your housing could be gone
as soon as this place sells?
Ah, yes, indeedy.
But my turn for a question.
Okay.
What is your current job
and goal future job?
Two parter.
Currently, I'm working as an
assistant at a fancy
schmancy salon and spa.
Cool.
I clean up pubes and toenails.
Ew.
But I am training to
be a masseuse,
so I'll be able to rub
down rich old ladies
while they complain about
dealing with the help.
Oh, and don't get them
started on planning vacations.
What a chore.
Oh, I totally feel for them.
Okay, next question.
Why do you see
monsters sometimes?
I don't know if we need
to get into all of that.
Really?
Because I'm super interested
in what causes that to happen.
Okay, um,
let's just say sometimes I
think about things too much
and it messes with my sleep.
Things like murder?
Nah small things.
Give me one example.
Okay. Driving.
Driving?
Yeah. I don't know why.
I just can't stand driving.
Sometimes when I know
I need to drive somewhere,
I just can't stop worrying
about getting into an accident.
So I avoid it almost
any time I can.
As someone who personally
loves to drive, that does
seem really weird.
It's weird to me, too.
Okay. What else?
Oh, no, no, no.
You said one example. One.
And I usually like to keep this
stuff buried deep deep
down like a big boy.
Oh, well, that doesn't
seem healthy,
but I think you have proven
to me that you aren't
a serial killer. So...
you've earned a date night.
And I could drive us
to our next date...
If there is one.
[broom falls behind them]
What was that?
Probably just the rats.
Ignore em.
Calling it now.
That dude's going to die.
Her boobs...
Totally fake.
This is a trick shot. Okay.
You sure?
Hundred percent.
Oh, my God.
Absolutely terrible.
Blind people would've
looked away from that
train wreck.
I'm sorry. This is a family
friendly sport.
Please no smack talk.
Look, I'm not, like, knocking
her knockers, but, like,
I'm just pointing it out.
Like a fun fact.
Boom. Totally called it.
Yeah. Yeah. You're the
oracle of death. Calm down.
A fun fact?
Doesn't get funner than that.
Oh, and you're so much better.
You're amazing.
One more. Let me just do it.
Oh, suck it.
You cheated.
I saw it. You cheated.
No I didn't! Your eyes were
closed. How could you know?
Make a move.
What?
Make. A. Move.
But I promised.
Are you sure?
Break the promise.
Make a damn move.
Okay.
I'm going to make a move now.
Good.
Waiting on the move.
[movie plays] I can't stop
myself.
[growling]
Nah Dave, I have no idea
why you didn't get the project.
Maybe something got screwed
up in the email.
Yeah, of course.
I could send it to you again.
I can't do it right
now, though.
I'm away from my computer.
Yeah, I'm just going to be
out and about all day.
Yeah, I know it's super
unprofessional of me.
No, but I can send it to you
tonight and we can go over
it tomorrow morning.
Yeah. Sorry again,
Dave. Cool. Yeah.
Talk to you later. Bye.
[door slams]
So...?
No. Dude, dude, dude.
I got to save my job somehow.
I wanted the details about
last night, though.
I really got to focus on
work right now, man.
That's adorable.
I love how hard you work.
How did it go?
It went really well.
Did you kiss?
I am not answering that.
All of her friends
know everything by now.
Answer my question.
Yeah.
You kissed?
Yeah, we kissed.
Did you use tongues?
Tongues were involved.
[giddily laughs]
Did you touch her butt?
All right, dude, out!
Okay. Okay.
I'll see you later,
you dirty butt toucher.
[door closes]
I did touch her butt...
All right.
Time to work.

[exhales sharply]
[slide whistle]
Back!
Back!
I am procrastinating.
[horn blows]
Miles calls for aid!
[horn blows]
No, I was just goofing
around with the junk.
I thought you called for aid.
No, it was a bit.
A bit?
I thought you were in trouble.
I'm sorry.
[crinkling noise]
[burp]

[phone buzzes]
[buzzing continues]
Hello?
Hey, Miles.
Umm, it's Ren.
Hey, Ren.
You okay?
Yeah. No. Yeah,
I'm fine. I'm...
sorry I called.
No need to be sorry.
But, no offense,
you do not sound okay.
Something happen?
Yeah...
No, no no... um, no...
God, we've only had one
date and I'm calling you up
crying like I'm insane.
You were just really
nice to me the other night,
and I didn't know
who else to call. So, umm...
I'm sorry...
Stop saying you're sorry!
It's all good!
I'm down to talk
if you need to talk.
You know what,
this was a bad idea.
I'll call you tomorrow when
I compose myself. Okay?
[phone beeps]
Ren. Ren?
Shit...
[sighs]
Shit.
Shit. Shit.
Shit. Shit. Shit.

[exhales sharply]
-[phone rings]
-[message beep]
[Ren's voicemail] Hi. You've
reached Ren's voicemail but you
haven't reached me.
Leave a.. .[beep]
[exhales]

You didn't have to come.
I know that.
But you wouldn't have sent
me your address if you
wanted to be alone. So...
Ta-da!
I don't really want
to talk about it.
And you don't have to.
We can just sit and
watch cartoons.
I brought S'mores Pop-Tarts.
And you can tell me to
leave at any point.
But until then, I'm here.
With Pop-Tarts.
As I said before.
[sighs]
[cartoons play on TV]
Hey.
Did you drive here?
Yeah.

It's going to be okay.
[Ren snores]
[Ren snores]
[cartoons continue to play on
TV]

[Ren's snores suddenly stop]
[Ren's snores resume]
[Ren's snores suddenly stop]
[phone buzzes]
[phone buzzes]
[phone buzzes]
Hey, Dave.
Yeah, I saw that the thing
didn't go through again.
I'm going to send it over
to you again now.
And we can go over every...
Yeah. No, no, I know I...
Dude, technology, right?
But the client has
complained at all so
we're still in good shape.
No, no, no. I'm sorry.
Yeah, yeah. No, I understand.
Come on, Dave.
This is like the first time I
haven't delivered on
your schedule.
Dave. Dave, you can't
be serious. Are you...
Dave!
Dave? Dave?
[sighs]
[shuffling noises]
[crash]
Read the room, rats!
[beep]
Hi. You've reached the
voicemail of Miles Puck.
Hope you have a great
grand and amazing day.
Or not...
It's really up to you.
[beep]
[Ren] Hey, I'm calling you and
I'm not crying.
That's progress.
But I actually wanted to
call you to say thank you
for everything.
If you were still here this
morning, I was going to
make you breakfast.
And not Pop-Tarts.
I figured we'd have enough
of those. And popcorn.
Starting to where you only
eat things with the word
"pop" in them.
That was a joke.
You were really sweet, though.
I still owe you breakfast
sometime, so call me back.
[Miles] That storm's getting
closer.
We better keep moving.
From the looks of it,
it's only getting bigger.
[Fart Thunder Clap]
And from the sounds of it,
it's going to be
a real shit storm.
Wait.
I think I see someone
caught in it.
[eerie music]
[Thunder]
Hey, that's Ren.
She's just standing
in the storm.
Maybe.
And hear me out on this.
We should stop running from
it and just face it head on.
Ren seems to have plenty of
room under that umbrella.
She's probably just
saving that room for "Leo".
Come on.
I want to avoid this
storm as much as possible.
[footsteps walking off]
Hey, I see a house
up ahead, Kip.
We can avoid the
storm in there.
[Thunder]
Excuse me, sir.
Is this your house?
Oh, no.
This house belongs
to the dark and
terrifying things
that linger in the
fears of all.
So...
Is it cool if we go inside?
There's this storm and I...
What is your biggest fear?
My biggest fear?
I don't know.
Yes, you do.
What is it you fear the most?
I guess I fear being a loser.
Someone who just
fails at everything.
Someone no one
wants to be around or with.
Becoming sad and
alone as the years go by.
That. That's not in
the house, is it?
Well, no.
That's a little too metaphysical
to put in a house.
I was really hoping you'd
say something like "spiders."
What about you?
What is your biggest fear?
Trout.
You mean like the fish?
Yeah.
But you're a bear.
I didn't make fun
of your thing.
Sorry.
Okay. There isn't any
trout in there either.
But it's still full
of really bad stuff!
You know what?
If it doesn't have failure or
trout in there, I think we'll
take our chances.
Come on, Kip.
By avoiding the storm, you'll
only be putting yourself
through more torment.
Are you sure, Miles?
Yeah.
I don't think there's
anything in here
that could scare me
more than facing that storm.
[Thunder]
The safe word is "catharsis."
[Door slams shut]
[Miles] See? This isn't so bad.
[Kip] Catharsis.
[Music Starts]

I hear something rustling
Under the bed
I pull up the covers
Up over my head
I walk with a trepidation
Into the dark
I see myself in the mirror
I scare myself
Just let the walls before you

Fall away
Let the walls before you fall

Just let the chains that bind
you
Fall away
Let the chains
That bind you fall
Oh, please don't
Mess with my psyche
This isn't a drill
I know that nobody likes me,
And they never will
Just let the walls before you

Fall away
Let the walls before you fall

Just let the chains
That bind you
Fall away
Let the chains
That bind you fall
Let the walls before you
Fall away
Let the walls before you fall

Let the chains that bind you
Fall away
Let the chains
That bind you fall
All right, Kip.
I think we got away.
See, I told you.
Not so bad.
Kip.
Kip?
[demon] Mr. Van Winkle
isn't here anymore.
Where is he?
[demon] Doesn't matter.
What matters is
you are all alone.
Kip!
Kip! Kip!
[demon] What's wrong?
Don't you like being
alone with your thoughts?
If you must know...
No. No, I don't.
Okay.
I don't like being alone
with my own thoughts.
Happy? Are you happy now?
[demon] I warned you about
closing yourself off in here.
Okay, fine.
You win. I'll say
the safe word.
Catharsis.
[demon] That's not how the
safe word works.
What?
What do you mean that's
not how the safe word works?
[demon] You said it,
but I don't think you mean it.
That is a terrible precedent
to set for a safe word!
I said it.
That means I am done!
Catharsis!
[demon] Hollow words bring
safety to no one.
What are you, some kind
of fortune cookie now?
Don't you dare
leave here alone!
Catharsis.
Catharsis. Catharsis.
Catharsis. Catharsis.
Catharsis!
Catharsis! Catharsis!
Catharsis!
Catharsis...
Catharsis...
Catharsis...
Catharsis...
Wake up, man.
You were talking in
your sleep again.
I was?
Yeah. And I was clearly doing
you a favor waking you up.
I thought the sleep thingy
was supposed to cure you.
It's slightly more
complicated than that.
Ugh.
Then I don't want to hear it.
That dream even had a song.
It went.
"Just let the walls...
Don't let the walls..."
Shit, I'm losing it.
Have you seen
my dream journal?
Think it's over there.
Whoa.
Since when did you start
working out this early?
Since you started dating
someone and making me
feel super single.
When I'm done here, I'm
going to be the Greek god
of bitchin abs.
[grunts]
Well, you don't have to
work yourself too hard.
I might just be the emotional
support side piece after all.
Oh, look, I have a missed
voicemail from Ren.
It's probably her
telling me that
while she had a very nice
night with me the other night,
her boyfriend, Leo,
is back in town, so...
peace out Girl Scout.
What is with you
and this negativity?
It's probably something nice.
[Ren's voicemail plays]
Yeah...
Yeah, you're right...
Of course I'm right, man.
I'm always right.
When are people
going to realize
that I am amazing at
vicariously running their lives?
No offense, dude, but you're
hardly that high up on the
totem pole of life yourself.
Miles.
When it comes to life...
I... am a power bottom.
[grunts]
Why am I like this?
I let one little thing spiral
into the absolute worst
case scenario in my mind.
Make myself a complete nut.
I really wish I didn't
feel like this all the time.
[weights clanks]
What?
Did you say something to me?
No, nothing. Forget it.
Really?
Yeah, forget it.
It was nothing.
'Cause I put in my
headphones, like, right
before you started talking.
It's cool. We can drop it.
Okay.
Well, maybe your
boss will yell at you today.
That usually cheers
you up, right?
I already got fired.
Oh, good on you
taking the initiative!
And you know what?
Not going to let myself
freak out about that.
[clicks tongue]
Or my lack of health insurance.
Or the fact I still have to
pay off my student loans.
Or...
Good start there, bucko.
You're right.
Good vibes only.
Only good vibes.
[Computer dings]
Maybe that's Ren sending
good vibes now.
[sighs]
No. It says it's a message from
someone I'm not friends with.
[ding]
Hey, bro.
Heard you been hanging
around with Ren.
Just want to let you know
that she's going through
something weird right now,
but as soon as she's done
with that, she's going to
be back with me.
So how about you back off?
So, Leo is Ren's
crazy ex-boyfriend.
Great grand and
freakin amazing! Yes!
Yes, sir.
That is the best message
I could have received.
Huge load off my mind.
Thank God.
Oh, he's typing.
[dings]
I can see you reading
my messages.
Just to be clear, I'm
not asking. Okay?
Stay away from Ren.
Wow, this dude is losing it.
I probably shouldn't message
him, right? Like he's emotional.
Going through some stuff.
Let him be.
Mmm...
Right.
Handle this head on.
[dings]
Oh, hey, Leo.
It's nice to meet you.
I'm sorry to hear you haven't
been doing well since
you and Ren broke up.
Like, I know it
can be hard, but,
dude, you can't be sending
messages like this to
everyone she meets.
It's not healthy to you,
her or like anyone.
[dings]
You think I give a crap
about what's healthy?
I don't.
In fact,
I give so little of a crap
that you owe me a crap.
You owe me a crap?
I owe you a crap?
All right, man.
Now you're just being
ignorant to Ren's feelings.
-[dings]
-Me? Ignorant?
I don't even know the
meaning of the word. All right?
But you're going to
know the meaning of the word
"ouch" if you keep testing me.
Are you threatening me?
Not just me, bro.
My whole family too.
You even know
who my uncle is?
No...
Well.
How 'bout you watch
Goodfellas. Scarface.
The Godfather.
Then you'll know who he is.
Is he like an actor?
No.
He's the real deal.
So why don't you stay
away from Ren.
Or else.
Well, that was unexpected.
[sniffs]
Did he just say he was going
to put a mob hit on me?
Yeah, I think he did.
Either way, man.
Good vibes.
[chair clacking]
[sighs]
[cardboard rubbing]
Oh, you have a ton of
fun murder weapons.
Really is a shame
you aren't a serial killer.
[metal clanking]
Or mafioso...
What?
What? Nothing.
I'm serious, though.
You guys should really
sort through some of the stuff.
Some of it's really cool.
I mean, like,
you've got a hand drill.
A very cute stuffed animal.
Two and only two
kitchen knives.
And an old school
voice recorder.
[sighs]
Now, this brings back an
extremely embarrassing story.
Oooo, do tell?
No.
Oh, no, no, no.
You can't do that. Okay?
You can't bring it up
and not tell the story.
Come on, out it.
Okay, fine.
But I will preface the story
by saying I was not a
loser in high school.
Oh, so it's that kind of story.
Wait, wait.
[bench creaking]
Your audience is listening.
Please continue.
Okay, so it was prom season
and all the dudes were, like,
doing these promposal things.
Except they were
extremely lame, like
holding up a sign or getting
the teachers to write
it on their test scores.
Having a teacher ask for
you does sound pretty lame.
-Right?
-Yeah.
So I decided, being the
strong, independent woman
who don't need no man
but would very much like one
that I am, I was going to
do my own promposal.
I was going to
bring the damn pizzazz.
So what's the plan?
Here.
Let's role play it.
Okay, so
pretend you're a high school
boy in homeroom and I'm me,
but dressed in a suit and tie.
[door opening]

[recorder clacking]
That's it. That's all I did.
And then when he passes play,
the recorder says,
"Hello, high school Miles.
Your mission, if you
choose to accept it,
is to take Ren to prom."
[recorder clacking]
Now that's pizzazz!
I know!
The entire school
was talking about it!
But the problem was...
that bastard said, "No."
Wait really?
I was humiliated.
I had to walk around
school the entire day
dressed like a secret agent.
But I was not defeated.
A couple of weeks later, this
guy from my math class
broke up with his girlfriend.
The perfect mark.
Oh, so this isn't even over?
Oh, no, not even close.
So I draw up a pirate map of
our math class, and I left
it on the dude's desk.
He unrolls it and on
it has an X to mark his booty.
He follows the map to a closet.
He opens it and
then out pops...
me dressed like a pirate!
Me. I was the booty.
And where did you
get a pirate outfit?
I was in the drama club.
Are you sure you
weren't a loser in high school?
[sarcastically laughs]
[rasberry]
I'll have you know, Miles Puck,
that I made a very hot pirate.
Duly noted.
Anyway, you know
what this guy tells me?
He already bought tickets to
some concert, and he
didn't want to miss it.
[sighs]
At that point,
I was ready to die.
Ready to walk the plank.
So...
[hands clap]
you ever make it to prom?
My gay friend asked
me to go with him.
And do you know
how he asked me?
With a goddamn sign.
And it all comes full circle.
I mean, you know,
I would have said yes.
I sure as hell hope so.
[inhales deeply]
You know,
if I was a psychiatrist,
I would blame all of my
past dumb relationships
on this prom thing.
Fear of rejection or some shit.
Always good to have
something to blame.
Hey, about the other night.
I usually don't get that
worked up, by the way.
My ex called.
I was telling my friends about
you, and I guess someone
told him about it
and he decided to call
me up and yell at me.
So...
You were telling your
friends about me?
That's your take away?
Sorry.
I kinda knew the other part
because he
kinda sorta sent me a
threatening message
over Face-Brook...
Book.
Gotta be kidding me.
Hey, hey, don't. No worries.
He doesn't know me well
enough to make me cry.
But I'm extremely
sorry he can do that to you.
Just do me a favor
and don't respond.
Yeah. Responding...
Responding would be stupid.
Okay, cool. So just ignore him.
Yeah. Great plan.
Totally my plan.
Awesome plan.
Umm.
Hey, one last,
quick thing, though:
He's not affiliated with the
Mafia or anything, right?
What?
Like, he's never joked, like,
"Ah, my uncle's in the Mafia!"
Or...
anything like that.
I don't even think
he's Italian.
They're not Italian mobs.
Is the mafia even
still a thing?
I like to safely assume
they're always just kind
of around.
I mean, I haven't heard
any mafia related news...
Please just answer
the question, Ren!
[swooshing]
[Miles] Oh, hey, Ren.
So, as you know, probably,
the prom's tonight
and you and I have
been dating for a while.
Not to put labels on this.
I mean, unless you want
to put a label on this.
I mean, I'm fine with
whatever you want, but...
We have been
hanging out a lot lately.
And I know it's silly to...
proms and all that...
but I was thinking
maybe you and I could go
together and that would
be a lot of fun.
We could have fun.
Okay, that was bad.

Oh, hey, Ren!
-[car approaching]
-Whoa...
[tires skidding out]
-[thuds]
-Uh.
I don't think we're going to
make it to the prom.
Which sucks because now I
feel like I've been wearing
this stupid bow tie
this whole time for nothing!
It's a pleasure to
meet you, Miles.
Glad you could join us for
our peaceful nighttime ride.
Um... Hello.
May I ask who you are?
I'm Uncle Tony.
Not to you,
but to my nephew, Leo.
Dammit, Ren,
you are not very observant.
My friends call
me Tony-Whack-a-Bitch.
And this is my associate,
Bobby Two Knives.
Nice to meet you,
Bobby Two Knives.
Don't talk to
Bobby Two Knives!
He doesn't like
meeting new people.
And he used to be
Bobby Three Knives
if you catch my drift.
[growl]
[gulp]
Where are you taking us?
Don't worry!
We'll get there right after
we drop off Charlie The Snitch.
[trunk thudding]
Time to drop you off,
Charlie The Snitch.
[footsteps]
Wait.
He's an organ donor.
[dumpster clanking]
Okay, now we can
go to the graveyard.
[both] The graveyard?

[dirt sifting]
What are we doing?
Kip, this is pointless!
No, no, no.
If you do a good enough job
digging your own grave,
we'll totally let you live.
[giggles]
[gun shot sounds]
[phone beeps]
Hello?
Oh, hey, nephew Leo.
Yeah, I'm just finishing things
up with Bobby Two Knives
and Miles "Buried Alive."
Wait! That's my
gangster name?
Yeah, nephew.
I'll finish up here and then
I'll meet you for Sunday dinner.
-[phone beeps]
-[engine starts]
Kip! They're
burying me alive!
What?
Who could have
seen this coming?
Don't worry, Miles!
I'll save you!
Ah!
[thuds]
Miles! I was stabbed
by Bobby One Knife!
[dirt sifting]
No, no!
[grunts]
[panting]
He doesn't have
ties to the Mafia.
It's insane to
believe that he does.
[demon voice] But what if he
does?
He doesn't.
[demon voice] If he does,
they'll never
find your body.
You're insane.
[demon voice] Agreed. You're
insane.
Ren would have
known about it.
[demon voice] She doesn't know
you're a nut ball stresses out
over everything!
She doesn't need to know.
[demon voice] Well, she's going
to find out.
And then she's going to think
you're completely neurotic
and won't want to be with you!
You're the one who thinks
Leo has ties to the mob.
[demon voice] I'm not the one
talking to myself!
I mean... no, you are.
[demon voice] I guess you're
right
about that.
I should really
stop talking to myself.
[demon voice] Agreed.
It's not a good look.
Okay. Talk to you later.
[demon voice] Unless the mob
gets you first!
Wow! I am tired and losing it!
Just losing it.
[swooshing]
[squeaking]
[swooshing]
[chair creaks]
[keyboard clicking]
[keyboard clicking]
This is a terrible resume.
[phone buzzes]

[camera sound]
[camera sound]
[camera sound]
[camera sound]
[camera sound]
[camera sound]
[camera sound]
[Ren] I swear. I'm usually
much better at this.
I mean,
we could still eat it, right?
I only want you to find out.
No, I was kidding. Don't do it.
No, no, no. A dare's a dare.
No one dared you.
Oh, tasty?
I dare you to spit it out.
Thank God.
[spitting]
It's like charcoal.
All right, I need to get the
taste out of my mouth.
Oh, jeez.
Do you even eat anything?
Well, I think I need
to go to the store.
I might have some bacon.
This isn't bacon.
This is turkey bacon.
Yeah, I only ever
get turkey bacon.
I have some ground turkey too.
Is this like a
health thing? Or...
No, it's less of a health
thing and more of a
hatred for turkeys.
I'm sorry. What?
I don't know.
I've always thought pigs
were cute and smart,
and I've seen a ton of
cute videos of cows online so...
turkeys can go
screw themselves.
All right,
I'll make turkey burgers.
Great.
[sizzling]
[Miles] All right, now, this
one.
Nope. Not cute.
You have got to be--
That is the cutest
damn turkey ever.
And yet still not cute enough.
Obama pardoned this turkey.
And he should have let it die.
How we feeling
about this show?
I've seen this one already,
but it's good we can watch it.
This is a weird thing!
This is the weirdest thing
I've learned about you.
How is this weird?
So what? It's a turkey!
No, no, no. The point is,
we're supposed to
watch something together.
I don't want to see
something you've already seen.
And they're so loud
and annoying for no reason.
Most people are
just indifferent.
I mean, I've seen it...
No, no. It's like a
cute couple thing.
It's like, Oh, we watch it
together and it's something
we look forward to.
I can watch you watch it.
Oh, I don't want you
to watch me watch it!
That's entertaining for me!
No, that's going
to spoil it for me!
I won't say anything!
No, your body language will.
Okay, fine.
[show plays on tv]
Okay.
I like this guy.
He doesn't die, right?
I'm not going to tell you.
You just need to watch it.
I'm going to be
very upset if he dies.
Just watch it.
I'm not gonna spoil anything.
Just watch.
[sniffs]
This is nice.
Yeah, I'm enjoying this.
[male voice] Ren!
-Were you expecting someone?
-[male voice] Ren!
No.
Ren!
Oh, God, no.
Come on! I know you're
home. I saw your car. Ren!
Ren!
[shushing]
You're here, too.
Ah. Now I can
really get things done.
Okay. What are you
doing here, Leo?
I'm here for
closure and revenge.
Revenge for what?
Revenge for breaking my
heart and revenge for
stealing my girl.
That revenge is for him,
not for you.
Just go home, Leo.
I really think you
should go home, buddy.
I am not your buddy.
And if I was your buddy,
you broke the buddy code,
so I would have to
fight you for that anyway.
I don't want to fight you, Leo!
Come on, one quick fight
and then I'll leave
you guys alone.
I promise.
[sighs]
Even if I lose?
It's for revenge.
It's, like,
preferred that you lose.
All right, fine.
What? No!
I don't want him hanging
over our heads anymore.
I'd rather get beat up and
have to think about them later.
That's the spirit! Come on!
[Ren] This is so stupid...
[sighs]
Shirts off.
Those are the rules.
You didn't have
to throw it to her, bro.
That's like rubbing it in.
Can we just get
this over with?
Okay.
Woo!
Oh, okay. Yeah.
[claps hands]
Good fight, good fight.
No bad fight, bad fight!
[clapping hands]
Dude, come on. Don't give up.
What do you see in this guy?
Honestly?
Just go away, Leo!
She didn't answer
the question, bro.
That has gotta sting more
than the punch did.
Oh, you are going
to regret that.
What? You gonna send
the Mafia after me?
[mouths] The Mafia?...
Did you fall for that?
No...
You totally did!
Joke's on you, bro!
I haven't even seen Scarface.
Oh!
Can the fight be over now?
What?
You scared of a little fight?
Neither of us is enjoying this!
Life is about fighting!
All right,
life is like a game show.
It's called
"Fight for What's Yours".
I'm the host.
Alright.
Ren is the studio audience...
And Ren is also the prize.
And you? You're at home, bro.
You're at home on
your couch watching us.
I'll be honest, I don't really
follow that metaphor, man.
You're pathetic.
Okay?
She's gonna leave you
the same way she left me.
And do you know why that is?
It's because you're
a loser and I'm awesome.
How much money
do you make a year?
I'm actually inbetween
jobs at the moment.
What?
I was going to flex my
salary on you, but just having
one is enough of a flex!
Ooof!
[coughs]
How big is your
apartment, huh?
I actually am currently
staying at my
dead step uncle's place
as my cousin tries to sell it.
Jesus. He's a squatter!
Mmmm!
[punch thudding]
Leo, stop it!
Mm hmm. Mm.
I drive a Tesla.
All right, man.
Please let me
one up you with that.
I mean, I don't really like
driving, so I don't
care about cars.
What?
You don't like driving?
What are you, a woman?
No.
You deserve a punch.
You're getting a slap.
Leo! Stop it!
[grunts]
Stop it or
I'm calling the police!
Okay. I'm done. I'm done.
You look like a real
weenie bo-beanie
in front of your girl,
so thanks for the revenge, bro!
You're dating a loser, Ren!
A loser!
[grunts]
It drives itself.
I think...
I know, Elon.
He follows me on Twitter!
[door slams]
[plastic crinkling]
I don't have steak,
but I have this.
Is this chicken?
No turkey.
I think you have
a problem, Ren.
Okay, well,
that's what I've got.
So do you want it?
No. Now that I'm looking at it,
it's probably just going to
give my eye salmonella.
[plastic crinkling]
[sighs]
Do you know what
love bombing is?
No, but if it's a thing
you're into, I'll try it out
at least once.
No, it's...
It's not that kind of thing.
It's when you meet someone
and you just start showering
them with affection.
You know, compliments,
expensive gifts,
expensive trips.
That kind of thing.
Can't say I've ever
had that happen to me.
Well, I have.
Leo did that.
He bought me everything.
And he call me every night
with compliments, and he
would take me out just as often.
You know,
it made me feel really special.
What a guy that Leo...
No, I mean, the human mind
has a really weird reaction
to receiving all that stuff.
And I think he knew that.
And before I knew it,
things got really serious,
really fast.
I'm pretty sure
that's what he wanted.
Sounds nice.
I don't think I'm conveying
correctly the way he got
into my head.
[sighs]
I mean, I feel stupid
thinking about it now.
And I obviously dumped
him for a reason once
I came to my senses.
But I'm bringing
all this up because
you didn't do any of that.
You didn't try to love bomb me.
I mean,
our first date was in a garage.
And you don't blow up my
phone every night with
compliments.
And you didn't come here
tonight
bearing gifts for no reason.
[static noise encroaches]
You're just you.
Just me.
You know,
I'm getting pretty tired.
Maybe we should just go to bed.
You know what
I'm trying to say, right?
I like you.
No, I hear you.
And I like you, too.
I just.
I'd really just like to
go to bed right now.
[CPAP humming]
[breathes deeply]
[static]
[static]
[eerie music]
[static]
[male voice] Live from the
metaphorical bottle where you
shove all your feelings,
it's your judgmental neighbors'
favorite game show!
It's time for...
[audience] What The Hell
Does She See In Him!!!
[applause]
Hello, everyone!
I'm your host,
Leo The Awesome.
I may not have ties to the
Mafia, but I do have ties
to America's heartstrings.
[audience] Awww!
Now, let's bring
out our first contestant.
He doesn't like driving.
He doesn't have
his own apartment.
Hell, he doesn't
even have a job!
Please welcome
Miles, stupid hair, Puck!
-[wheels squeaking]
-[fuse burning]
[canon fires]
Uh...
[canon squeaks away]
Ow.
Now that Miles is physically
hurt, let's hurt his feelings.
Miles, the world wants
to know, "what the hell
does Ren see in you?"
[cymbal crashes]
I, I don't know.
None of us do! Hahaha!
You're such a loser!
Do you, like,
give her a lot of gifts?
No.
Take her on any cool dates?
We watched a lot
of movies together.
Whoa, big spender!
Really spoiling her right here!
Hahaha!
Gobble Gobble Gobble!
Before we get to the
bottom of this,
let's send things over to our
resident comedian,
Kip Van Winkle!
[applause]
Oh, hi, everybody. Okay.
[clears throat]
What's the difference between
your great aunt and a turd?
One pinches your cheeks
the other your cheeks pinch.
[snare hit]
You get it?
It's a poop joke.
Well, anyway,
you got this, Miles.
You're a great guy
and Ren is to have you.
[audience] Hahaha!
No, no, that wasn't a joke.
Hahaha!
Please stop laughing.
He's my friend...
And we're back!
Can anyone figure out what
the hell Ren sees in Miles?
Is Ren here?
I feel like we
could just ask her.
Do you really want to ask
Ren why she likes you
despite your lack of a job,
lack of a house,
or insane phobias?
I mean, I don't think
I'd phrase it that way...
Hold that thought!
Hold it right there in your
sissy, little girly hands.
It's time to throw it back
to our resident comedian,
Kip Van Winkle!
Knock, knock.
[audience] Who's there?
Knock, knock.
[audience] Who's there?
Knock, knock.
[male voice] Who's there?
Guy with OCD!
[snare hit]
[chuckles]
But real talk, folks:
We all need to take mental
health a little more seriously.
I brought a pamphlet so
we can all educate ourselves.
Who wants a pamphlet?
Pamphlet?
If you laughed,
you have to take a pamphlet.
And that's all the
time we have, folks!
Unfortunately, we couldn't
figure out what the hell
Ren sees in Miles.
I'm nice!
You hear that, folks?
He thinks he deserves a girl
just because he's nice!
Booooo!
That's not what I said!
Well, we still don't know how
anyone could ever love you.
And when we don't have an
answer, you know what
that means, folks!
[audience] Put to death!
Wait! Put to death?
What does that mean?
You're a loser.
So we're going to put you
and Ren out of your misery.
Bye bye, Miles!
Let's release the love bomb!
[chain squeaking]
Has that been up
there this whole time?
Hello?
[buzzing]
Oh, I do not like this.
[chain squeaking]
[bomb whistling]
[explosion]
[bell gongs]
[heartbeat thumping]
[CPAP humming]
[heartbeat thumping]
[eerie music]
[throat noises]
[heartbeat intensifies]
[throat noises continues]
[growls]
[bell gongs]
[demon] You are worthless...
-[gasps]
-[CPAP clacking]
Oh, what?
What?
What the hell's going on?
Geez that hurt!
I, I'm so sorry.
Are you okay?
What happened? Miles. Miles.
It's okay. Just leave it.
It's okay. What's going on?
-I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
-Miles.
-[Ren] You're scaring...
You're starting to
scare me now, Miles.
It's going to be okay.
Relax. Miles, relax.
What are you doing?
Miles, just talk to me
for a second!
What is going on?
Miles? Just talk to me!
Miles!
Miles!
[door shutting]
[heavy breathing]
[keys opening door]
-[door slams]
-[panicked breathing]
[Miles takes deep breaths]
[corky music]
[breathing quickens]
-[door slamming]
-[phone ringing]
[car approaching]
[phone ringing]
[beep]
[voicemail] Hi, you've reached
the voicemail of Miles Puck.
Hope you have a great
grand and amazing day.
Or not. It's really up to you.
[beep]
[Ren] Hey, Miles, it's me again.
Really wish you'd call me back.
I saw your car is still on
my street, and I wanted to
make sure you're okay.
Don't really know what
happened last night, but
call me back, okay?
Seriously, even just a text
saying, "yo, I'm not dead,"
would be appreciated.
So yeah. Bye.
[beep]
Hey, Miles, just a quick
heads up about the...
What are you doing?
I'm going to kill the
shit out of some rats.
[gun clicking]
What happened to your eye?
I got into a fight.
With the rats?
No. I had a freaky thing in my
sleep and I was with Ren and...
So, Ren punched you?
No.
You punched yourself?
No.
You punched Ren?
No!
Good because I was going
to have to punch you then.
I mean, what kind of...
Gloves are coming off, buddy.
I got to teach you a lesson.
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
Let me explain. Let me explain.
Leo punched me, which caused
me to have a freaky dream,
which made me yank
Ren's CPAP machine.
And that caused me
to have a panic attack.
So... I ran away.
Woah.
Yeah. Woah.
Have you talked to her since?
Nah, I looked absolutely
insane.
Doing a lot better now.
[Rat trap snaps]
I got one.
[Rat squeaks]
Ah shit, he's not dead!
[thudding]
[rat squeaks]
[thudding]
[breathes heavily]
[sighs]
[mournful music]
I guess I should
say some words.
[birds chirping]
I'm sorry I killed
you, Mr. Rat.
Or Mrs. Rat...
It was too gross to check.
But regardless,
I'm sorry I killed you.
I think I'm just going through
something right now. And..
I was using killing
your people as an outlet.
In retrospect, it's probably
not the healthiest of outlets,
and it's probably a good
thing that I feel bad about it,
because if I were like super
into this kind of thing,
that would be really worrisome.
What I'm trying to say is,
I'm sorry for killing you.
I feel absolutely
terrible about it
and it won't happen again.
[Rat trap snaps]
[drum thud]
I'm a monster.
[leaves rustle]
Yo.
Yo, yo, yo, what the hell?
Relax, dude.
I already knew you're a nut.
I didn't realize to what
degree exactly, because...
Wow.
You can't just read
my dream journal.
You left it out,
and I just wanted to see
if I was in any of 'em.
And to be honest,
I should probably
be mad with you because
I'm only in one.
They're not for you!
I'm the only one who's
supposed to be reading this!
Well, have you?
Have I what?
Have you read anything
you've written down?
Because you should.
Reason one being your spelling
is absolutely atrocious.
But reason two: you might
notice some patterns.
Like, did you realize that
Ren is in every single
one of your dreams,
but she never says anything?
The most you'll do is probably
exchange some sort of message,
but she never actually speaks.
Just saying man, your dreams
don't pass the Bechdel test.
Also,
I am showing the house today.
I will keep them out of the
garage because I
don't want them to see...
any of this.
You.
I don't want them to see you.
Have a happy breakdown.
[kissy noises]
[door slams]
[soft music]
[pages rustle]
[whack]
[smacks]
There totally is a pattern.
But breaking it will make me
look even more like a nutcase.
So let's just bury that
all deep, deep down.
[rat trap snaps]
Jesus...
[crashes]
Ow.
That would have been bad.
Kip?

How?
How did you?

Okay.
Okay, Kip.
[rustling noise]
[screen door creaks]
Hey...
Can we, like, talk?
[fingers thumping]
Okay, first off,
sorry about last night.
It's okay.
And I have something kind
of big that I got to tell you.
Alright.
Alright.
Okay. Okay. Umm...
[sighs]
This is my dream journal.
I started it after
the sleep study.
I am supposed to write
down all of my dreams
to see if there's any patterns
or consistencies that come up.
And there is one.
You.
Me?
Well, you and this teddy
bear from the sleep study.
But I don't know if I'm quite
ready to dissect what that
whole thing means yet.
But you are in every
one of my dreams.
Every one since I've met you.
That has to mean something.
What does it mean?
In every one of my dreams,
you never speak.
And I never speak to you.
But all I want to
do is talk to you.
That's it. Just talk to you.
Really, truly talk to you.
I'm not sure I follow.
Okay.
[clicks tongue]
The reason...
I get night terrors and why I
see shadow monsters
that aren't really there
is because I have
bad, terrible,
crippling anxiety.
I try and push it down,
and I like to think I can
hide it well. But the truth is,
I overthink everything.
And I mean everything.
I can overthink things to the
point where I can feel
physically ill sometimes.
I mean, I really should be
on some kind of medication,
or at the very least, therapy.
But I don't have health
insurance, and that's a
whole other can of worms,
because then I just get worried
I'm going to get hit
by a bus or something
and be physically and
financially crippled for
the rest of my life.
and uh...
[soft music]
But when I'm alone...
especially at night,
when I'm trying
to go to sleep...
I can spiral into feeling
completely and utterly
helpless
and, well, alone.
I know this is a
lot to take in.
It's okay.
And I'm not trying to say
you're like some kind of
miracle cure for my anxiety.
What I'm asking is if it's okay
for me to tell you about it.
For me to call you up
when I'm spiraling to say
"Hey, I'm feeling crappy!"
and not feel bad about it
or feel like I'm imposing.
I just would really love
if I had someone as great.
As awesome.
Someone as
great grand and amazing...
as you...
there for me in my corner
to tell me it's
going to be okay just
every now and then.
But have you ever feel like
I'm just taking the
advantage or I'm
overstepping my boundaries--
You're an idiot.
I don't think that's the
proper response to everything
I just said.
No, it is.
[sniffs]
Agree to disagree on that one.
Sit down, you moron.
Okay.
[sighs]
[chuckles]
I called you seven
times last night, you moron.
I clearly wanted to talk to
you to make sure you were okay.
You moron.
I want to be there for you just
as much as you're there for me.
This is a give and
take type deal.
Okay?
Yeah.
You don't think I'm crazy?
No.
[sigh of relief]
I um...
I think I still have some
S'mores Pop Tarts if
you want one.
That would be nice.
[hopeful music]
[giggles]
Okay.
[exhales]
Pop-Tarts?
Pop-Tarts.
[footsteps]
Catharsis.
Aren't you selling
yourself for how cool you
make websites look?
Yeah.
[upbeat music]
Then your resum
should look cool.
Okay, let's bring this section
over there and add a
graphic or something.
And then Kathy comes
in and she just has
to tell my client
that the nail color I picked
out for her was kind of
"whore-ish".
She suuucks.
Oh, my God, thank you.
She sucks so much. I hate her.
It's okay.
You've got a solid resume
and you killed the interview.
You need to let yourself
relax now. You've done
everything you can.
[Miles] You're right. You're
right.
Totally right.
I will stop freaking out
because everything's totally
going to be okay.
But what if they blacklist me?
Good night, you
employed bastard, you.
[laughs]
So step one of
the plan is complete.
Finding a job.
Step two is health insurance
which will lead to step three:
finding a therapist and
maybe some meds.
And how many steps are
there in this plan of yours?
Hmm... I'm not sure yet.
I guess we'll find
out as we go.
You know,
you're very nice to me.
Don't worry.
You'll make it up to me.
Sweet dreams, Ren.
Sweet dreams, Miles.
[CPAP humming]
[Breathing through an
apparatus echoes
through the night]
[Miles] You know, you really do
feel weightless up here.
It's awesome, right?
It's like floating in the pool.
[Ren] But the pool is all around
you and you can't breathe in it.
That's pretty much
exactly a pool.
Don't mock my simile.
It accurately
encapsulates my experience.
Oh, look!
A shooting star!
Make a wish.
[sighs]
I wish...
[tearing sound]
Ah! I've been hit!
There's a hole in my suit!
I'm going to die!
Relax.
You're not going to die.
[tape crinkling]
Let's get you back to
the spaceship before
the tape gives way.
[tranquil music]
Hey, Ren.
You want to know
what I wished for?
You can't tell me if
you want it to come true!
But what if you
holding me was my wish?
Geez, you're cheesy.
Am I cheesier than the moon?
Well, looking at the moon and
it's made of rock, not cheese.
So, yes, you are.
I hope you aren't
lactose intolerant.
I can still take off the tape.
You wouldn't do that.
No, I wouldn't do that.
-[crickets chirping]
-[water flowing]
Finally got him to be brave.
Brave enough
to ask for a little help.
[splash]
[splash]
What the hell was that?
Was that a trout?
Oh, hell, no! Forget this!
I'm out of here!
[End Credits Music Begins]
Now, the hungry lion
Roars and the wolf
Behowls the moon
Whilst the heavy
Plowman snores
All his weary tasks fordone
Now the wasted brands do
Glow whilst the screech owl,
Screeching loud
Like the wretch that
Lies in whoa in
Remembrance of a shroud
Now it is the time of night
That the graves all open wide
Everyone let's forth
Their sprite on the church
Way paths to glide
Hand in hand with fairy grace

We will sing
And bless this place
Close your eyes
Go to sleep
Just close your eyes
But a dream
But a dream
But a dream
But a dream
Hand in hand with fairy grace

We will sing
And bless this place
Close your eyes
Go to sleep
Just close your eyes
But a dream
But a dream
But a dream
But a dream
[music fades]