Fear Pharm (2020) Movie Script
1
Babe!
I thought you
weren't touching yourself?
So what's this for?
Babe, what
are you talking about?
That's for my skin.
It's got friggin' SPF in
it. I'm on the field for hours
during practice and games. You
could you imagine what my skin
would look like if I didn't
take take care of it, baby.
It's part of my regimen.
Oh my God, you wore it.
Yeah. Yeah,
I know what my guy likes.
How
about I help you out.
Yes.
Come here.
Oh, ok.
God damnit, Mom!
God, I told you to knock!
If you don't want me barging
in, lock your door.
Your door has a lock on it?
Well. Yeah honey, Rustin
and Melanie are downstairs.
Would you like
me to invite them up?
Oh, shit!
What's up guys?
Sorry Mrs. Banks.
Oh shit, you guys were
playing dress up
when your mom walked in.
Oh and a cheerleader outfit,
very nice.
How'd the audition go?
Can I get you guys anything?
Bye, Sarah.
Fuck, your mom's hot, dude.
We should get a picture of this.
Ok, alright, and then I want my
chin to look better so just
alright and uh Mel if you could
lay across the
front of us, you know?
Go fuck yourself Rustin.
You
already took 30 pictures before
we even got up the driveway. I'm
trying to be present in my life
not document it
for a bunch of internet pervs.
I'm sorry about that, babe.
Ready?
Nice.
I get it. If my parents lived
close to
campus I'd still be there.
It beats the life of crippling
debt I'll amount between dorm
costs and tuition by
the time we graduate.
Chelsea posted a pic of the
Aggie Press review of Hairspray.
Oh, she's a bitch! I was
supposed to have that part.
Didn't you
like miss the audition?
You know if I can speak
as the only working actor here,
60% of great
acting is great hair, but
the other 30% is
just showing up on time.
Working actor?
You landed one
non-union anti vaping commercial
for a $500 buy out, and
now you're a working actor?
It's my
life, and my lungs, and it's
just not cool. Escape the vape.
Your sister scares me bro.
You have no idea.
What the fuck.
Ok guys, check this out. This is
that haunted corn maze thing in
Davis Jamie Solis
was telling me about it.
Yeah, it's
Fright Farm or something.
We should
totally do this!
I don't know. I
don't like the weird people
touching you and shit.
Seriously lotion boy?
What else are we gonna do?
Movie.
Can we just do something
different for a change?
Well, what do you mean?
All we do is
either have someone buy us beer
or go somewhere and play
drinking games. I mean, come on.
Or we go to
the movies, or dinner.
Ok, well it's a small town, it's
not my fault we
are limited on options.
We should totally do
this! It's only an hour away!
Rustin
wants to, don't you.
No. No I
don't think we should.
Why?
You guys, that place is bad,
like very bad.
People really got killed there.
Nice try Macbeth!
See
this is why you never get cast.
Shut up Melanie! You
don't know! There's a lot of
reasons I never get cast.
It's true.
Ok so like 15 years ago,
before it was a haunt, this
satanic clan broke into one of
the cornfields
and they set up this altar.
They kidnapped a local
virgin girl and
offered her up as sacrifice by
systematically dissecting
her while she was still alive.
By the time the cops got there,
the only thing left was this 11
inch piece on her skin that
looked like it had been peeled
off by some kind of
potato peeler or something.
You are so full of shit.
Fuck you.
It's true. It was on the news!
The killer shot a
video and everything. Crazy.
Let me see. Give it.
Ok, here, look.
Give it.
I'll be right there.
Rustin! God damn it!
Alright, you little
bitches better sack up
because we
are totally doing this.
Whoa, Hey!
Oh if
you're scared I totally get it.
Shut up Melanie,
you know I'm not scared!
I was the only one
at Brandon's 10th birthday to
watch
all the Nightmare on Elm Streets
and not even cover my eyes once.
Whatever. I am in.
You know,
guys please. Let's not be the
group that all
does the "I'm in thing."
I don't know. I am pretty sure
my girlfriend dressed up in this
nice cheerleader outfit to...
you know.
I'm pretty sure I'm in.
Alright,
fuck! Fine, you guys want to
hang out with a bunch of 10 year
olds, we'll go to the corn maze.
Jesus. But
we're bringing your flask.
Hell yeah we bring my flask.
Not my car.
I'm low on gas.
Yeah, and drinking.
No, we can take
my car, but you have to drive.
What the fuck?
Look Mel, we talked
about this. If you want to be a
fucking nerd and not drink with
us that's fine, but you're gonna
have to drive.
It's the right thing to do.
Fuck off, Rustin.
Oh hey, can we stop by my
house on the
way so I can change?
Babe,
you know you chose to wear this.
Excuse me? You can't
expect me to go wearing this.
Guys, ya know.
No. 100% you're gonna wear that.
Melanie.
I'm sorry,
I'm with the guys on this one,
it's way too good to pass up.
Hey, sack up, right?
I fucking hate you guys.
Whoa, since
when do you carry a knife?
Ever since
the Time's Up Movement started.
If somebody fucks with me,
I am feeding them their balls.
Jesus dude,
why are you always so angry?
Whatever, I
think it's bad ass.
You're awesome Mel!
Thank you.
You guys,
let's play a game.
Oh yeah, how
about we play padiddle?
What is padiddle?
Padiddle, a game where
you see a car, the headlight is
out, you have to be the first
person to go padiddle and if you
are right, everybody in the car
has to take off
an article of clothing.
Gross, why do all your games end
with me and my sister
getting naked together?
Alright, let's play
two lies and a truth.
Guys, let's not do the
expositional dialogue thing, ok?
Let's just you two grope
each other in the back seat.
We'll pretend it doesn't make us
very uncomfortable and we'll
listen to music up here and
we'll just
we'll drive. You know?
Well that's cool.
Sounds good.
Alright everyone let's
settle down and let's get this
safety meeting over with
so we can start our work day.
It's another night,
and the season is almost over,
so we've
got to keep our energy levels up
and not make any
lazy mistakes out there.
Remember we're a small business.
A family business.
So we've got
to work twice as hard to beat
those strip mall pop up
haunts that have deep pockets.
And you
know how we beat em?
We beat them
with our hearts and our passion.
Because we give our
customers an amazing experience,
and we thrive,
thrive on word of mouth.
Now boys, the
guests in the VIP maze,
they need special attention.
God Damnit Andy
get off your fucking phone!
As I was saying, if
you have any questions just
ask your sister. And can we
just-can we try, for the love of.
God to keep the mess down.
Laundry ain't cheap.
We got to keep costs
down to keep the doors open,
to continue
your mother's legacy.
Oh, and
brother Deacon was kind enough
to bake some
peanut butter delights
so make sure you
grab one on your way out.
Oh and Deacon,
they are very, very good.
Ok...
let's bring it in.
Sweetie,
I know you're
up there looking down upon us,
so proud of the work we're doing
and just know that there isn't a
day that
goes by that we don't think
of you and miss you.
Sweetie, we
figured it out.
We finally figured it out
and everything is
gonna change for the better.
Your boys and little girl
have grown up strong.
Please watch over them
and guide them as they
continue your legacy.
Just know
that we love you and miss you.
Ok. Let's finish this.
Don't forget your two for one
combo with any
student ID at Fear Farm!
Alright
guys, you're not listening.
There's already
been a famous Justin.
There's already
been a famous Dustin
which means the world
is ready for a famous Rustin.
Now I'm the most
popular Rustin on social media
by almost 200 people.
So when that
excellent opportunity meets my
incredible online preparation,
I'm gonna break through to the
big screen
and when that happens,
what are
you gonna do, dude?
Play professional soccer, ok?
You
don't even look Italian.
Bro you know
what? It can happen.
Ok? I believe it.
Yeah, baby.
Dude, all I'm saying is
that any day now, they're gonna
find me and they're gonna be
like oh my God, it's just what
we've always wanted,
another passibly handsome,
generic looking white guy.
This is perfect.
I'm gonna get a big
agent and it's gonna be crazy.
Jesus, man!
Hey aren't you the
"Escape the Vape" guy?
Yeah.
Yeah, come on let's
do this. Pull out your phone.
What?
Yeah, you
want a selfie, right?
I'm sorry
dude, I don't do autographs.
I don't want to
make a scene you know.
Nah, I'm good.
I mean I'll do it. We can
use my phone if you want.
Alright Ryan
Gosling, let's move on.
You really think I
look like Ryan Gosling?
I've been
doing something with my hair.
Absolutely not.
I've gotta hit it
real quick before we go.
I've gotta
piss like a race horse.
Gross, dude. The only thing
I'm actually scared of here are
those fucking porta potties.
You know Becky Snyder
got crabs from one of those.
Didn't you give Becky crabs?
HA HA. No,
she gave me crabs. So-
Ew. Fuck
Rustin, you have crabs?
1 in 2 Americans are
gonna get an STD in their life.
80% of those are
gonna get it in college.
As someone who's almost
completed an entire semester of
college 4 times, I'm still
well below the average 3.
And yet I am still taking
a piss dude, so let's go.
Ah, me too.
What? You literally just said...
Yeah dude, you can't get
crabs if you don't have pubes.
Have fun.
Hey I
thought you gave Becky crabs.
God no. My ex McKenna did.
So I read online
we gotta go to the south
entrance to
sign up for the maze.
Alright then. Let's stop fucking
around here and do this thing.
I'll text the boys.
Ok.
That looks
almost too good to be here.
What?
That scarecrow.
Dude, there's nothing there.
I swear there was a
creepy ass scarecrow there.
Isn't that kinda
the point of this place?
Yeah.
I've got spirit, yes I do!
I've got spirit, how about you?
You
look like a shitty porn star!
I'm gonna fucking kill
Rustin for spreading that rumor.
Fucking-
I think you look hot.
Oh Jesus! Fuck!
Jesus.
Occupied means occupied!
Dickfer!
That was awesome.
Dude I got piss on me.
Yeah I know it was a good prank.
Did you hear
he called you Dickfer?
What's a Dickfer?
From what I hear,
yours is for well
lubricated masturbation.
Girls are at the south gate.
Welcome to Fear Pharm.
For your
safety and that of others,
we ask you to abide
by a few simple rules.
First of all please turn in
all of your cell phones before
entering the maze. Don't worry.
You'll get them back.
Also, each guest will be
stamped for your own safety.
Our maze is
over 100 acres long.
You don't
want to get lost in there.
Thank you.
Is everything okay?
Yeah I don't blame you.
What's
going on? Is everything alright?
Is there something
wrong with my stamp?
Everything's fine.
Do you
know what this stamp means?
No. What
does it mean?
It means that
you're the 10,000th visitor to
our maze this season.
Sweet. So then what?
It means that you get to
visit our VIP maze experience.
What do you say Bobby?
So, which one of
you is the lucky winner?
Uh, that's me. I guess.
Well congratulations...
Melanie.
Melanie, Melanie...
Brandon.
Wendy.
Rustin.
Melanie,
Brandon, Wendy, Rustin.
Yeah.
Great name.
Thank you.
Well I'm Herschel,
Herschel Walker, and I just
so happen to own this place.
Very cool.
Thank you,
and Melanie here just
so happens to be our
10,000th customer this season.
That is what they tell me.
So what does it mean?
Like we get a couple t-shirts,
a free t-shirt or something?
Hey, what's the VIP maze?
Well, looks like
somebody spoiled the surprise.
Sorry. I
just-I get so excited.
I completely understand.
The VIP maze
happens maybe once a year.
You know,
we're a small family business.
So sometimes we don't
even get 10,000 visitors.
Heck sometimes we build the
VIP maze and nobody
is there to experience it.
So the VIP maze is
different than the normal one?
Oh yeah, yes it is.
Melanie, how would
you and your friends like
to experience the VIP maze?
Now I'll tell you what.
You finish
in under two hours,
you'll win $5000.
Fuck me. I mean $5000?
$5,000 dollars, dollars?
Like not pumpkin
money or something?
Yes sir.
You know what? It's
coming to the end of the season
I'll do you one better.
You finish in under
one hour and I'll double it.
$10,000? Seriously?
Yes. Uh huh.
What do you say Melanie?
Well don't look at me.
You know I'm in.
There's no
doubt about that, no.
I'm in.
Yeah, fuck yeah. I'm in.
I guess we are all in.
Fantastic!
Let's go for a ride!
Come on, strap in.
Safety first, people.
Hang on!
Saving Private Ryan!
I don't
know what's happening!
Alright.
Ok. Are you guys
out of your fucking minds?
We're all gonna die out here.
Hey! It looks like we've
got ourselves a road block.
I'm gonna need
your help on this one.
Man those guns.
Come on guys, nut up!
Hey, hey!
Five bucks for every dick shot.
This must be how
Mariah Carey feels every day!
See ya!
Stop with the dick shots!
Oh my God. I
almost feel bad.
I don't.
Fuck yeah, dude!
Fuck you!
Thank you.
So which one of
these is the VIP maze?
Now you don't think I was
gonna make it that easy, do you?
Wait,
there's more than one option?
Actually five.
Now they all go down and
end up at the end of the maze,
just some
take longer than others.
Do some take
longer than 2 hours?
Why
yes Rustin, you are catching on.
Ok so we all
get a path and if we're bad on
the path and it doesn't work
out, we don't get the money.
Right, again.
Ok.
Can we split up?
Wait, what?
Well
there's 5 paths and four of us.
If we split up we have
a way better chance of winning.
Well I just
see the wheels a' turning.
Yes you can split up.
Now, you are not required to.
You can all go on one path, or
you go your separate
ways, increase your chances.
If we all get there in under two
hours do we all get $10,000?
Nice try.
Guys I don't
want to split up.
Well you can go with me, baby.
Yeah we can all go together.
We'll just pick
one path and stick with it.
Come on
guys, are you serious?
Statistically if we split up we
have a way
better chance of winning.
Mel
makes a good point though.
Hey, do
people ever get lost out here?
Lost?
Son
it's a corn maze.
Getting lost
is kinda the point.
And what
about the satanic cult?
Oh Jesus.
The what?
10 years ago a virgin girl was
sacrificed out
here by a satanic cult.
It was on the news.
Virgin sacrifice.
Son, the average
age of the corn maze is 10.
Heck, a 12 year old
girl won the $5000 in the VIP
maze just last season.
Now as much as I love the mystic
and the urban legends
that help keep my doors open,
in all honesty we're
just a fun, family corn maze.
So what do you guys want to do?
You know, we don't
have to do this, guys.
No, we'll just
hop back in the truck, go
back to the main gate and you
guys can enjoy
the normal maze if you want.
Come on, seriously
you guys. Have some balls.
Yeah no, Mel's right.
We're just freaking
ourselves out for no reason.
I mean it's a child's
corn maze, what could happen?
Yeah, little kids do this shit.
Yeah, we'll
each pick a different path
and we'll just run for the
money. Make a quick cash grab.
Ok, ok, but I want
you to enjoy the experience.
Now I pay a lot of people to
dress up to scare you guys.
It'd be kind of a waste just
to run through the corn maze.
Ah Herschel, you're a beautiful
man but a stupid child.
I love you, but we come
from very Republican parents.
We're all about the Benjamin's.
Ah, I see.
Ok well, I want you
guys to have a good time
alright, not focus on
these Benjamin's, alright.
I'm gonna do you a favor.
Don't take the middle path.
Why would that be, Herschel.
Has it got a little trick
or a rig in there or what?
It's not a trick.
People on average
take the middle path.
That's why I made it the
longest for that very reason.
Look. Four
people, four paths.
Problem solved.
Fuck it, let's do it!
Fuck yeah, dude!
You guys are sure.
This is what we want to do?
Yeah.
Rustin, didn't I just tell
you about the 12 year old girl?
Yeah.
Yeah Mr. "I watched Nightmare
on Elm Street before you."
Stop being such a pussy.
Fuck you, Melanie! I'm
just asking him some questions.
God, you always do this!
This is why mom and
dad don't love you as much.
Oh, that's funny?
Well you know what?
I'm gonna get there first
and when I win the $10,000,
we'll see who's laughing when me
and Herschel are fucking models
in my G7.
Stay gold, Pony Boy.
You wouldn't be able
to afford that with $10,000.
Alright, I guess this is it.
Have fun.
You too, babe.
See you in a couple hours, ok?
Alright.
Ok.
Hey thank you, alright?
I'm taking
the path on the right!
Alright
boys and girls.
Let's be safe out there.
And remember,
preservation is key.
I did not crush that
audition this morning.
I'm from Ohio.
Cool.
Brandon
takes possession of the ball.
Nobody can stop him and it's
a goal and the crowd goes wild.
Wild. Wild. He wins.
Give me an "L"!
Give me an "O"!
Give me an "S"!
Give me an "E"!
Give me an "R"!
Loser.
Loser.
Loser.
Wow. Hilarious.
Loser.
Ok...
Fuck me!
You got me, man. I don't scare
easy and you fucking got me.
You are
a big motherfucker.
Dude, what
are you doing out here?
You should be in movies.
Who's your agent, man? Stella?
You with ADA on the east side?
Nothing? You can't
just drop character like that.
You had the
great scare, the great entrance.
You're fucking spooky and
then you're just gonna drop it?
Alright look buddy, let me
uh give you a little advice.
Ok, I've done a little acting
myself and this is basic stuff,
real simple.
It's Meisner, ok?
You gotta
invent the memory, alright?
Now I know in real life you're
probably this average Joe.
You
know you spend a lot of time
fucking
around in a corn maze.
Don't get laid enough.
Whatever. Whatever. Whatever
your life is use that ok?
But when you
put on that mask alright?
You've got to know that
you are a psychotic murderer
capable of anything.
Alright it's um-
There's a quote from
one of my favorite actors right,
Freddie Prinze Jr.
He always
says, acting is living
truthfully under
imaginary circumstances.
I think that's very true.
Dude I'm giving you gold here.
You should be writing this down.
Alright well
good luck man, Jesus.
Fuck you too.
I'm trying to help a guy out.
Fucking asshole.
Ok.
Nice try, dude.
Fuck.
Wendy!
Brandon?
Rustin?
Hey there, big boy.
Well, aren't you handsome?
You too.
Think you could give me
a little pointer on how to get
out of these parts?
Oh, sweetie we're not
allowed to tell you that.
That's right, right,
right. $10,000 I get it.
But, maybe there's something
else I can help you with.
I'm sorry.
I'm not following you.
We're all alone out here.
Maybe, have a little fun.
Our little secret.
Ah, um yeah it's just,
I'm with someone. You know?
Oh, that's too bad.
What
if I let you tie me up and do
whatever you want to me.
Oh, wow.
It's-that sounds like a friggin'
awesome idea 'cause
you are like fire you know?
Now I'm gonna kill
myself for saying this.
I just-I
got to pass you know?
I got to be loyal.
Just damn, you know?
Well I don't know could you
at least run or something then?
I really need the exercise.
What?
And I really
like it when they run.
What?
Fuck! Fuck,
fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck! Ah!
You just fucking cut me.
Are you out of
your fucking mind? Fuck!
You know what?
I like you.
I'm gonna give you a head start.
Ready? Ok.
1 one thousand.
2 one thousand.
3 one thousand.
4 one thousand.
Fuck this, man. Fuck.
6 one thousand.
7 one thousand.
8 one thousand.
9 one thousand.
Ready or not, here I come!
Whoa. They
really stepped their game up.
It's ok, they're
just trying to scare you.
You got this.
Dude,
your outfit is creepy as shit.
What is up with this mask?
Come
out, come out, wherever you are!
There you are. Gosh.
Oh no, no, no, no!
Ah ya!
You lose.
What the fuck
are you doing?
You're supposed to be in path 4!
I'm sorry. I lost her.
What the fuck
do you mean you lost her?
It means she's a fucking ninja.
Are you fucking kidding me?
God Damnit! Fuck.
Look, hey, hey, hey, hey.
I am sorry for yelling, okay.
She's really fast.
Yeah, I am sure she was.
Here, why don't you take pretty
boy here back to the lab
and I'll try and find her, ok?
Oh my God he's so little.
I know but I'm still not
strong enough to carry him back.
I am.
Yes you are!
Just take him back to the lab
and I'll go try and find her.
Ok.
Ok?
Hey! By the way those peanut
butter delights
you made were amazing!
Really?
Just as good
as Mom used to make.
Hey dude, you uh...
Can I run something by you?
I just, I
came up with this thing
but I don't have anybody
to show it to, and it's like...
Ready?
It's corn on the cock.
Yeah it's not my best, but it's-
There's something there, right?
It's funny. It's just I don't
know where to go with it.
Ya know?
Alright you're not a prop
comedy guy, that's fine.
It's whatever.
It's not for everyone.
Do you
know what time it is?
I just, I've
been walking around
this fucking
place, it feels like hours.
I only got 2 hours
to finish this thing and I don't
know if my friends are out yet
or if-so could you just like-
I'm just so bad at
reading stars, you know?
Alright, come
on man. Just help me out.
Ok, you don't know my sister,
she's gonna be such
a fucking cunt if
she beats me in this thing.
Nothing. Alright.
Hard sell, that's cool.
I get it. I get it. I get it.
Um, well I
didn't want to have to
pull rank on you but uh...
I know Herschel.
So maybe you just
got a little radio or something
you could, ya know, just like
kind of walkie talkie to him,
let him know his buddy Rustin is
ready to get the
fuck out of this maze.
That would-
Where are ya going?
I can see you.
You're just gonna walk?
You're just gonna back-
You're not even
gonna walk forward into it?
Really fucking cool,
man. You know what?
Have fun stopping
cousins from hand jobbing all
over each other out
here you fucking douche bag.
Damn I hate this fucking maze.
And I will strike thee down with
great vengeance and furious-
Fuck.
You talking to me?
I don't see anyone else here
so you must be talking to me.
Fucker.
Damn it.
Ok. You wanna play games?
Let's play games.
Say hello to
my little friend.
Fuck you!
Oh that's it.
Now I have had it with
this motherfucking scare-
Holy shit.
Shit. Hey, buddy. Hey, come on.
We've got to
get you out of here.
Mel?
He killed me, man.
No. He didn't, wait.
No listen.
I don't think I'm gonna make it.
You ever seen
an arm fall off before?
No, I haven't.
About as bad as you'd expect.
I need you to listen.
What?
I just want you to know that I'm
your brother and I would never
forgive myself
if I didn't tell you.
I thought you
looked so fat today.
Just saying it's okay
to say the truth sometimes.
Are you serious? Come on.
You know, carbs
aren't always your friends.
I need you to help me.
No, listen! I need
you to go into my room.
Under my bed
there's
some really dark porn stuff.
I don't
want mom and dad to see that.
Just been getting into
some really deep fetish shit.
Some of it feels kind of
illegal.
Mel, I hate you.
Fuck.
Did it look real?
Are you fucking kidding me?
I think that's the
best acting I've ever done.
You see this snot?
No, I got a real tear.
We should get the
fuck out of here, though.
These guys suck, dude.
Mel.
You seem busy.
I'm just gonna get the car.
Rustin!
I got him!
Oh good, you're awake.
What the fuck is going on?
I'm sorry we
don't have time for that.
The process takes forever and if
I told everyone what was going
on I would
never get any work done.
Let me go
you fucking crazy bitch!
No!
Fuck no, no, no, no.
You kiss your
mother with that mouth?
Look I'm gonna need
you to stop struggling
or this
is going to really hurt.
What the
fuck is going to hurt?
What the fuck is that?
This is a Dermatome.
Do you know what that is?
What the fuck is that?
It's a Dermatome.
I just told you that!
Why don't men ever listen?
No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no.
I'm guessing you
didn't go to medical school,
so I'm going to
dumb this down for you.
This is a.
DER-MA-TOME.
It removes
your skin from your body.
No, please, please,
please, no, please.
Here. Let me show you.
No, no, no,
no, hold on. Hold on.
See? That simple.
It gets a lot harder
around your eyes and nose,
but luckily you'll either be
passed out or dead by then.
Please,
please, please just let me go.
I want to go home, please.
Where's Wendy?
Please, please, please.
You talk too much.
You're taking
all the fun out of this.
I want to go home.
Wow, some men
really are faster than others.
Glad I didn't
let you tie me up,
that would have
been a disappointment.
Gemma! Henry is hurt!
What the fuck happened?
That lesbian
bitch stabbed him!
But he's dead?
Do something.
What do you want me to do?
He
Has a knife in his fucking head.
I don't
know. I'm not a doctor!
He's dead!
He's not breathing and he
has a knife in his fucking head!
Why
do men make me repeat myself?
Who's still out there?
Deakin and Andy.
Where's Andy?
Path 2.
And Deakin?
I think he's
looking for the lesbian.
Bernard, did
she tell you she was a lesbian?
No.
Did you see
her kissing a girl?
No.
Then why do you
think she's a lesbian?
She was tough and strong.
Just because a
woman is tough and strong
doesn't make her a lesbian.
It doesn't matter.
Which one of
them was on path 2?
The Cheerleader I think.
Well hello there.
I'm Frosty The Clown
here for all of
your frosty treat needs.
How has the maze been going?
Good, I think.
Hey can you tell me
how long I've been out here?
Uhnt uh.
An hour and 20 minutes.
Fuck.
There goes the 10 grand.
I'm sorry.
You'll have to
hurry to win any money.
So none of my
friends have made it out yet?
I don't think so.
You see they
ring the bell every time someone
wins the VIP maze,
and I haven't heard anything.
Have you?
No.
What's your
name little girl?
Wendy.
Wendy.
Would like a treat, Wendy?
They're free of charge.
What'll it be, Kevin?
Well, Frosty,
we've got some Push Pops,
some Drumsticks, and Twincycles
that are blood orange.
So what will it be?
No thanks. I'm trying to win.
Hey, these sound delicious
but between you and me,
I've gained
5 pounds this week.
Are you sure? They're free.
Free. Free, free, free, free.
Free as can be.
Yeah. I should
go if I'm gonna win.
Good luck!
Yeah, maybe
I'll catch you at the end.
Not if I catch you first.
Wendy!
Wendy!
Let's go!
Found you.
Melanie...
Hey Mel. Mel.
Hey, Mel.
Mel, hey.
Hey, you're still here.
Hey.
Are you ok?
I'm ok.
How are you?
Ok, fuck.
It's bad.
They gave me something.
I can't feel it.
I looked down once.
That was enough.
Fuck.
Melanie I am so sorry
I brought you guys here.
I'm so sorry.
No, it's not your fault.
It's not your fault.
I am so sorry. I'm scared.
I'm not ready to die.
I'm not ready to die.
I'm gonna get us out of here.
You're not gonna die.
I'm
gonna get us out of here, ok?
I promise. You trust me, right?
Ok.
There she is,
the answer to all our prayers.
She's the one.
After all these years.
I was beginning to
think that you were a myth.
I told you we'd find one.
15 years!
I can't believe it.
Your Mother would be so proud.
Your mother would
be proud of all of you.
And you.
You took my boy away.
And if I
didn't need you alive
I would
really enjoy gutting you.
You're
sure we need her alive?
It's not an exact
science, but I wouldn't risk it.
How about that one?
No.
Yeah we got
everything we need from her.
You can kill her.
No!
Thank you.
No, wait,
wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!
No! No! No! No! No! No!
Oh God!
I'm gonna
kill you, you son of a bitch!
I'm gonna
kill every last one of you.
She's feisty!
Yeah, we
still can't kill her yet.
Fuck you, you psychotic bitch!
I'm gonna cunt
punch the shit out of you!
What do you want from me?
What the fuck
do you want from me?
You didn't tell her?
Oh, you have
no idea how special you are.
Tell her.
Ugh, we don't need to tell her.
Tell her.
I want her to know.
I want her to know how she
helped complete
your Mother's work.
It has everything to do
with the hand stamp we gave you
on the way into the park.
The stamp?
No one ever
asks about that.
I mean what is
the point of the stamp?
Truth be
told, it's a litmus test.
It exposes those
with a particular gene.
It's a
relatively new gene.
It only happened in the last 30
years or so in human evolution.
And your friends
skins are filled with it.
First,
we remove the skin,
then we grind it down
and make it into a liquid.
And then we turn
it into a face cream.
Yeah.
And it stops the aging
process just like that.
Florence's Miracle Face Cream!
You're crazy.
You're all fucking crazy!
Now
your skin on the other hand.
Your skin has more of this gene
than we have
ever encountered before.
That's why
we need to keep you alive.
You see, when your
heart stops beating your skin
fights to stay
alive through osmosis,
sucking in everything from the
outside world
tainting all of my research.
Your skin can stay
alive for weeks after your dead,
how amazing is that?
Thanks for the science
lesson you crazy bitch!
Hey I'll have
you know I graduated with a PHD
in Biotechnology from UC Davis.
I have 5 Discovery Patents,
which is only
two less than my mother's.
And you little
sweetie, you're going to help me
isolate what makes your genes
special so we can
find more people like you.
God Damnit!
Whoa ho, I like this one!
Honey, where are you gonna go?
You're surrounded,
and if by some miracle
you get past us
you're in a
hundred acre corn maze.
It's over.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
No! No! No!
Let's talk about this.
Fuck you!
No!
There you go.
Thank you.
Have a nice day.
Thanks, you too.
Excuse me. I am looking to
see if anyone has seen my son.
He went
missing over a month ago.
Nice looking boy,
but I am sorry I haven't seen him.
Here, let me ask my father.
Papa...
this nice
woman's son is missing,
do you
recognize him?
No, I don't. Sorry.
He looks like a good kid.
Have you
contacted the police?
Yes I have, but
he's over 18 and so he's not
considered a runaway, and
there's no way to prove that he
didn't just take off
so they've been no help.
Well that's just awful.
I'm so sorry.
Thank you.
Well I'll keep
my eye out for him.
If I do see him is
there a way to contact you?
Yeah, all
my information is on the poster.
Ok, thank
you. I am so sorry.
Thank you.
Alright, thanks.
Excuse me ma'am?
I know you're
going through a rough time,
and from the looks of
it you haven't slept much.
I haven't.
I want you to try this.
On no, I'm
sorry - thank you though.
It's on the house.
Trust me, you
deserve a little pampering.
It takes the
days of worrying off the skin.
Go ahead,
I promise you'll love it.
The scent
it's really comforting.
Eucalyptus?
It
Reminds me of my son's room.
Gemma!
Gemma!
Well hey there.
I thought we had
you in a medically induced coma,
but it seems the drip ran out.
I wonder how that happened.
I'm sorry are you
trying to say something?
You see,
unfortunately when you sliced
your throat you did a number on
your vocal chords,
but you missed the arteries.
Luckily I was able
to stitch you back up,
and the progress
has been amazing!
It looks like your pain meds
are also starting to wear off.
I am
so sorry about that sweetie.
I'll be right back.
I know the human
body is a crazy thing right?
Did you know
that if taken care of properly,
it only takes 2 weeks
for human skin to grow back?
Yeah I know, so great!
So while
we hunt for other people like
you we can rest easy knowing
that every two weeks we can
just come back to you for more.
Now I am just
going to get this going,
and in a couple of seconds
you'll be back in that coma,
and you won't have to worry
about any of this anymore.
There...
Nighty night.
Nighty night.
Babe!
I thought you
weren't touching yourself?
So what's this for?
Babe, what
are you talking about?
That's for my skin.
It's got friggin' SPF in
it. I'm on the field for hours
during practice and games. You
could you imagine what my skin
would look like if I didn't
take take care of it, baby.
It's part of my regimen.
Oh my God, you wore it.
Yeah. Yeah,
I know what my guy likes.
How
about I help you out.
Yes.
Come here.
Oh, ok.
God damnit, Mom!
God, I told you to knock!
If you don't want me barging
in, lock your door.
Your door has a lock on it?
Well. Yeah honey, Rustin
and Melanie are downstairs.
Would you like
me to invite them up?
Oh, shit!
What's up guys?
Sorry Mrs. Banks.
Oh shit, you guys were
playing dress up
when your mom walked in.
Oh and a cheerleader outfit,
very nice.
How'd the audition go?
Can I get you guys anything?
Bye, Sarah.
Fuck, your mom's hot, dude.
We should get a picture of this.
Ok, alright, and then I want my
chin to look better so just
alright and uh Mel if you could
lay across the
front of us, you know?
Go fuck yourself Rustin.
You
already took 30 pictures before
we even got up the driveway. I'm
trying to be present in my life
not document it
for a bunch of internet pervs.
I'm sorry about that, babe.
Ready?
Nice.
I get it. If my parents lived
close to
campus I'd still be there.
It beats the life of crippling
debt I'll amount between dorm
costs and tuition by
the time we graduate.
Chelsea posted a pic of the
Aggie Press review of Hairspray.
Oh, she's a bitch! I was
supposed to have that part.
Didn't you
like miss the audition?
You know if I can speak
as the only working actor here,
60% of great
acting is great hair, but
the other 30% is
just showing up on time.
Working actor?
You landed one
non-union anti vaping commercial
for a $500 buy out, and
now you're a working actor?
It's my
life, and my lungs, and it's
just not cool. Escape the vape.
Your sister scares me bro.
You have no idea.
What the fuck.
Ok guys, check this out. This is
that haunted corn maze thing in
Davis Jamie Solis
was telling me about it.
Yeah, it's
Fright Farm or something.
We should
totally do this!
I don't know. I
don't like the weird people
touching you and shit.
Seriously lotion boy?
What else are we gonna do?
Movie.
Can we just do something
different for a change?
Well, what do you mean?
All we do is
either have someone buy us beer
or go somewhere and play
drinking games. I mean, come on.
Or we go to
the movies, or dinner.
Ok, well it's a small town, it's
not my fault we
are limited on options.
We should totally do
this! It's only an hour away!
Rustin
wants to, don't you.
No. No I
don't think we should.
Why?
You guys, that place is bad,
like very bad.
People really got killed there.
Nice try Macbeth!
See
this is why you never get cast.
Shut up Melanie! You
don't know! There's a lot of
reasons I never get cast.
It's true.
Ok so like 15 years ago,
before it was a haunt, this
satanic clan broke into one of
the cornfields
and they set up this altar.
They kidnapped a local
virgin girl and
offered her up as sacrifice by
systematically dissecting
her while she was still alive.
By the time the cops got there,
the only thing left was this 11
inch piece on her skin that
looked like it had been peeled
off by some kind of
potato peeler or something.
You are so full of shit.
Fuck you.
It's true. It was on the news!
The killer shot a
video and everything. Crazy.
Let me see. Give it.
Ok, here, look.
Give it.
I'll be right there.
Rustin! God damn it!
Alright, you little
bitches better sack up
because we
are totally doing this.
Whoa, Hey!
Oh if
you're scared I totally get it.
Shut up Melanie,
you know I'm not scared!
I was the only one
at Brandon's 10th birthday to
watch
all the Nightmare on Elm Streets
and not even cover my eyes once.
Whatever. I am in.
You know,
guys please. Let's not be the
group that all
does the "I'm in thing."
I don't know. I am pretty sure
my girlfriend dressed up in this
nice cheerleader outfit to...
you know.
I'm pretty sure I'm in.
Alright,
fuck! Fine, you guys want to
hang out with a bunch of 10 year
olds, we'll go to the corn maze.
Jesus. But
we're bringing your flask.
Hell yeah we bring my flask.
Not my car.
I'm low on gas.
Yeah, and drinking.
No, we can take
my car, but you have to drive.
What the fuck?
Look Mel, we talked
about this. If you want to be a
fucking nerd and not drink with
us that's fine, but you're gonna
have to drive.
It's the right thing to do.
Fuck off, Rustin.
Oh hey, can we stop by my
house on the
way so I can change?
Babe,
you know you chose to wear this.
Excuse me? You can't
expect me to go wearing this.
Guys, ya know.
No. 100% you're gonna wear that.
Melanie.
I'm sorry,
I'm with the guys on this one,
it's way too good to pass up.
Hey, sack up, right?
I fucking hate you guys.
Whoa, since
when do you carry a knife?
Ever since
the Time's Up Movement started.
If somebody fucks with me,
I am feeding them their balls.
Jesus dude,
why are you always so angry?
Whatever, I
think it's bad ass.
You're awesome Mel!
Thank you.
You guys,
let's play a game.
Oh yeah, how
about we play padiddle?
What is padiddle?
Padiddle, a game where
you see a car, the headlight is
out, you have to be the first
person to go padiddle and if you
are right, everybody in the car
has to take off
an article of clothing.
Gross, why do all your games end
with me and my sister
getting naked together?
Alright, let's play
two lies and a truth.
Guys, let's not do the
expositional dialogue thing, ok?
Let's just you two grope
each other in the back seat.
We'll pretend it doesn't make us
very uncomfortable and we'll
listen to music up here and
we'll just
we'll drive. You know?
Well that's cool.
Sounds good.
Alright everyone let's
settle down and let's get this
safety meeting over with
so we can start our work day.
It's another night,
and the season is almost over,
so we've
got to keep our energy levels up
and not make any
lazy mistakes out there.
Remember we're a small business.
A family business.
So we've got
to work twice as hard to beat
those strip mall pop up
haunts that have deep pockets.
And you
know how we beat em?
We beat them
with our hearts and our passion.
Because we give our
customers an amazing experience,
and we thrive,
thrive on word of mouth.
Now boys, the
guests in the VIP maze,
they need special attention.
God Damnit Andy
get off your fucking phone!
As I was saying, if
you have any questions just
ask your sister. And can we
just-can we try, for the love of.
God to keep the mess down.
Laundry ain't cheap.
We got to keep costs
down to keep the doors open,
to continue
your mother's legacy.
Oh, and
brother Deacon was kind enough
to bake some
peanut butter delights
so make sure you
grab one on your way out.
Oh and Deacon,
they are very, very good.
Ok...
let's bring it in.
Sweetie,
I know you're
up there looking down upon us,
so proud of the work we're doing
and just know that there isn't a
day that
goes by that we don't think
of you and miss you.
Sweetie, we
figured it out.
We finally figured it out
and everything is
gonna change for the better.
Your boys and little girl
have grown up strong.
Please watch over them
and guide them as they
continue your legacy.
Just know
that we love you and miss you.
Ok. Let's finish this.
Don't forget your two for one
combo with any
student ID at Fear Farm!
Alright
guys, you're not listening.
There's already
been a famous Justin.
There's already
been a famous Dustin
which means the world
is ready for a famous Rustin.
Now I'm the most
popular Rustin on social media
by almost 200 people.
So when that
excellent opportunity meets my
incredible online preparation,
I'm gonna break through to the
big screen
and when that happens,
what are
you gonna do, dude?
Play professional soccer, ok?
You
don't even look Italian.
Bro you know
what? It can happen.
Ok? I believe it.
Yeah, baby.
Dude, all I'm saying is
that any day now, they're gonna
find me and they're gonna be
like oh my God, it's just what
we've always wanted,
another passibly handsome,
generic looking white guy.
This is perfect.
I'm gonna get a big
agent and it's gonna be crazy.
Jesus, man!
Hey aren't you the
"Escape the Vape" guy?
Yeah.
Yeah, come on let's
do this. Pull out your phone.
What?
Yeah, you
want a selfie, right?
I'm sorry
dude, I don't do autographs.
I don't want to
make a scene you know.
Nah, I'm good.
I mean I'll do it. We can
use my phone if you want.
Alright Ryan
Gosling, let's move on.
You really think I
look like Ryan Gosling?
I've been
doing something with my hair.
Absolutely not.
I've gotta hit it
real quick before we go.
I've gotta
piss like a race horse.
Gross, dude. The only thing
I'm actually scared of here are
those fucking porta potties.
You know Becky Snyder
got crabs from one of those.
Didn't you give Becky crabs?
HA HA. No,
she gave me crabs. So-
Ew. Fuck
Rustin, you have crabs?
1 in 2 Americans are
gonna get an STD in their life.
80% of those are
gonna get it in college.
As someone who's almost
completed an entire semester of
college 4 times, I'm still
well below the average 3.
And yet I am still taking
a piss dude, so let's go.
Ah, me too.
What? You literally just said...
Yeah dude, you can't get
crabs if you don't have pubes.
Have fun.
Hey I
thought you gave Becky crabs.
God no. My ex McKenna did.
So I read online
we gotta go to the south
entrance to
sign up for the maze.
Alright then. Let's stop fucking
around here and do this thing.
I'll text the boys.
Ok.
That looks
almost too good to be here.
What?
That scarecrow.
Dude, there's nothing there.
I swear there was a
creepy ass scarecrow there.
Isn't that kinda
the point of this place?
Yeah.
I've got spirit, yes I do!
I've got spirit, how about you?
You
look like a shitty porn star!
I'm gonna fucking kill
Rustin for spreading that rumor.
Fucking-
I think you look hot.
Oh Jesus! Fuck!
Jesus.
Occupied means occupied!
Dickfer!
That was awesome.
Dude I got piss on me.
Yeah I know it was a good prank.
Did you hear
he called you Dickfer?
What's a Dickfer?
From what I hear,
yours is for well
lubricated masturbation.
Girls are at the south gate.
Welcome to Fear Pharm.
For your
safety and that of others,
we ask you to abide
by a few simple rules.
First of all please turn in
all of your cell phones before
entering the maze. Don't worry.
You'll get them back.
Also, each guest will be
stamped for your own safety.
Our maze is
over 100 acres long.
You don't
want to get lost in there.
Thank you.
Is everything okay?
Yeah I don't blame you.
What's
going on? Is everything alright?
Is there something
wrong with my stamp?
Everything's fine.
Do you
know what this stamp means?
No. What
does it mean?
It means that
you're the 10,000th visitor to
our maze this season.
Sweet. So then what?
It means that you get to
visit our VIP maze experience.
What do you say Bobby?
So, which one of
you is the lucky winner?
Uh, that's me. I guess.
Well congratulations...
Melanie.
Melanie, Melanie...
Brandon.
Wendy.
Rustin.
Melanie,
Brandon, Wendy, Rustin.
Yeah.
Great name.
Thank you.
Well I'm Herschel,
Herschel Walker, and I just
so happen to own this place.
Very cool.
Thank you,
and Melanie here just
so happens to be our
10,000th customer this season.
That is what they tell me.
So what does it mean?
Like we get a couple t-shirts,
a free t-shirt or something?
Hey, what's the VIP maze?
Well, looks like
somebody spoiled the surprise.
Sorry. I
just-I get so excited.
I completely understand.
The VIP maze
happens maybe once a year.
You know,
we're a small family business.
So sometimes we don't
even get 10,000 visitors.
Heck sometimes we build the
VIP maze and nobody
is there to experience it.
So the VIP maze is
different than the normal one?
Oh yeah, yes it is.
Melanie, how would
you and your friends like
to experience the VIP maze?
Now I'll tell you what.
You finish
in under two hours,
you'll win $5000.
Fuck me. I mean $5000?
$5,000 dollars, dollars?
Like not pumpkin
money or something?
Yes sir.
You know what? It's
coming to the end of the season
I'll do you one better.
You finish in under
one hour and I'll double it.
$10,000? Seriously?
Yes. Uh huh.
What do you say Melanie?
Well don't look at me.
You know I'm in.
There's no
doubt about that, no.
I'm in.
Yeah, fuck yeah. I'm in.
I guess we are all in.
Fantastic!
Let's go for a ride!
Come on, strap in.
Safety first, people.
Hang on!
Saving Private Ryan!
I don't
know what's happening!
Alright.
Ok. Are you guys
out of your fucking minds?
We're all gonna die out here.
Hey! It looks like we've
got ourselves a road block.
I'm gonna need
your help on this one.
Man those guns.
Come on guys, nut up!
Hey, hey!
Five bucks for every dick shot.
This must be how
Mariah Carey feels every day!
See ya!
Stop with the dick shots!
Oh my God. I
almost feel bad.
I don't.
Fuck yeah, dude!
Fuck you!
Thank you.
So which one of
these is the VIP maze?
Now you don't think I was
gonna make it that easy, do you?
Wait,
there's more than one option?
Actually five.
Now they all go down and
end up at the end of the maze,
just some
take longer than others.
Do some take
longer than 2 hours?
Why
yes Rustin, you are catching on.
Ok so we all
get a path and if we're bad on
the path and it doesn't work
out, we don't get the money.
Right, again.
Ok.
Can we split up?
Wait, what?
Well
there's 5 paths and four of us.
If we split up we have
a way better chance of winning.
Well I just
see the wheels a' turning.
Yes you can split up.
Now, you are not required to.
You can all go on one path, or
you go your separate
ways, increase your chances.
If we all get there in under two
hours do we all get $10,000?
Nice try.
Guys I don't
want to split up.
Well you can go with me, baby.
Yeah we can all go together.
We'll just pick
one path and stick with it.
Come on
guys, are you serious?
Statistically if we split up we
have a way
better chance of winning.
Mel
makes a good point though.
Hey, do
people ever get lost out here?
Lost?
Son
it's a corn maze.
Getting lost
is kinda the point.
And what
about the satanic cult?
Oh Jesus.
The what?
10 years ago a virgin girl was
sacrificed out
here by a satanic cult.
It was on the news.
Virgin sacrifice.
Son, the average
age of the corn maze is 10.
Heck, a 12 year old
girl won the $5000 in the VIP
maze just last season.
Now as much as I love the mystic
and the urban legends
that help keep my doors open,
in all honesty we're
just a fun, family corn maze.
So what do you guys want to do?
You know, we don't
have to do this, guys.
No, we'll just
hop back in the truck, go
back to the main gate and you
guys can enjoy
the normal maze if you want.
Come on, seriously
you guys. Have some balls.
Yeah no, Mel's right.
We're just freaking
ourselves out for no reason.
I mean it's a child's
corn maze, what could happen?
Yeah, little kids do this shit.
Yeah, we'll
each pick a different path
and we'll just run for the
money. Make a quick cash grab.
Ok, ok, but I want
you to enjoy the experience.
Now I pay a lot of people to
dress up to scare you guys.
It'd be kind of a waste just
to run through the corn maze.
Ah Herschel, you're a beautiful
man but a stupid child.
I love you, but we come
from very Republican parents.
We're all about the Benjamin's.
Ah, I see.
Ok well, I want you
guys to have a good time
alright, not focus on
these Benjamin's, alright.
I'm gonna do you a favor.
Don't take the middle path.
Why would that be, Herschel.
Has it got a little trick
or a rig in there or what?
It's not a trick.
People on average
take the middle path.
That's why I made it the
longest for that very reason.
Look. Four
people, four paths.
Problem solved.
Fuck it, let's do it!
Fuck yeah, dude!
You guys are sure.
This is what we want to do?
Yeah.
Rustin, didn't I just tell
you about the 12 year old girl?
Yeah.
Yeah Mr. "I watched Nightmare
on Elm Street before you."
Stop being such a pussy.
Fuck you, Melanie! I'm
just asking him some questions.
God, you always do this!
This is why mom and
dad don't love you as much.
Oh, that's funny?
Well you know what?
I'm gonna get there first
and when I win the $10,000,
we'll see who's laughing when me
and Herschel are fucking models
in my G7.
Stay gold, Pony Boy.
You wouldn't be able
to afford that with $10,000.
Alright, I guess this is it.
Have fun.
You too, babe.
See you in a couple hours, ok?
Alright.
Ok.
Hey thank you, alright?
I'm taking
the path on the right!
Alright
boys and girls.
Let's be safe out there.
And remember,
preservation is key.
I did not crush that
audition this morning.
I'm from Ohio.
Cool.
Brandon
takes possession of the ball.
Nobody can stop him and it's
a goal and the crowd goes wild.
Wild. Wild. He wins.
Give me an "L"!
Give me an "O"!
Give me an "S"!
Give me an "E"!
Give me an "R"!
Loser.
Loser.
Loser.
Wow. Hilarious.
Loser.
Ok...
Fuck me!
You got me, man. I don't scare
easy and you fucking got me.
You are
a big motherfucker.
Dude, what
are you doing out here?
You should be in movies.
Who's your agent, man? Stella?
You with ADA on the east side?
Nothing? You can't
just drop character like that.
You had the
great scare, the great entrance.
You're fucking spooky and
then you're just gonna drop it?
Alright look buddy, let me
uh give you a little advice.
Ok, I've done a little acting
myself and this is basic stuff,
real simple.
It's Meisner, ok?
You gotta
invent the memory, alright?
Now I know in real life you're
probably this average Joe.
You
know you spend a lot of time
fucking
around in a corn maze.
Don't get laid enough.
Whatever. Whatever. Whatever
your life is use that ok?
But when you
put on that mask alright?
You've got to know that
you are a psychotic murderer
capable of anything.
Alright it's um-
There's a quote from
one of my favorite actors right,
Freddie Prinze Jr.
He always
says, acting is living
truthfully under
imaginary circumstances.
I think that's very true.
Dude I'm giving you gold here.
You should be writing this down.
Alright well
good luck man, Jesus.
Fuck you too.
I'm trying to help a guy out.
Fucking asshole.
Ok.
Nice try, dude.
Fuck.
Wendy!
Brandon?
Rustin?
Hey there, big boy.
Well, aren't you handsome?
You too.
Think you could give me
a little pointer on how to get
out of these parts?
Oh, sweetie we're not
allowed to tell you that.
That's right, right,
right. $10,000 I get it.
But, maybe there's something
else I can help you with.
I'm sorry.
I'm not following you.
We're all alone out here.
Maybe, have a little fun.
Our little secret.
Ah, um yeah it's just,
I'm with someone. You know?
Oh, that's too bad.
What
if I let you tie me up and do
whatever you want to me.
Oh, wow.
It's-that sounds like a friggin'
awesome idea 'cause
you are like fire you know?
Now I'm gonna kill
myself for saying this.
I just-I
got to pass you know?
I got to be loyal.
Just damn, you know?
Well I don't know could you
at least run or something then?
I really need the exercise.
What?
And I really
like it when they run.
What?
Fuck! Fuck,
fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck! Ah!
You just fucking cut me.
Are you out of
your fucking mind? Fuck!
You know what?
I like you.
I'm gonna give you a head start.
Ready? Ok.
1 one thousand.
2 one thousand.
3 one thousand.
4 one thousand.
Fuck this, man. Fuck.
6 one thousand.
7 one thousand.
8 one thousand.
9 one thousand.
Ready or not, here I come!
Whoa. They
really stepped their game up.
It's ok, they're
just trying to scare you.
You got this.
Dude,
your outfit is creepy as shit.
What is up with this mask?
Come
out, come out, wherever you are!
There you are. Gosh.
Oh no, no, no, no!
Ah ya!
You lose.
What the fuck
are you doing?
You're supposed to be in path 4!
I'm sorry. I lost her.
What the fuck
do you mean you lost her?
It means she's a fucking ninja.
Are you fucking kidding me?
God Damnit! Fuck.
Look, hey, hey, hey, hey.
I am sorry for yelling, okay.
She's really fast.
Yeah, I am sure she was.
Here, why don't you take pretty
boy here back to the lab
and I'll try and find her, ok?
Oh my God he's so little.
I know but I'm still not
strong enough to carry him back.
I am.
Yes you are!
Just take him back to the lab
and I'll go try and find her.
Ok.
Ok?
Hey! By the way those peanut
butter delights
you made were amazing!
Really?
Just as good
as Mom used to make.
Hey dude, you uh...
Can I run something by you?
I just, I
came up with this thing
but I don't have anybody
to show it to, and it's like...
Ready?
It's corn on the cock.
Yeah it's not my best, but it's-
There's something there, right?
It's funny. It's just I don't
know where to go with it.
Ya know?
Alright you're not a prop
comedy guy, that's fine.
It's whatever.
It's not for everyone.
Do you
know what time it is?
I just, I've
been walking around
this fucking
place, it feels like hours.
I only got 2 hours
to finish this thing and I don't
know if my friends are out yet
or if-so could you just like-
I'm just so bad at
reading stars, you know?
Alright, come
on man. Just help me out.
Ok, you don't know my sister,
she's gonna be such
a fucking cunt if
she beats me in this thing.
Nothing. Alright.
Hard sell, that's cool.
I get it. I get it. I get it.
Um, well I
didn't want to have to
pull rank on you but uh...
I know Herschel.
So maybe you just
got a little radio or something
you could, ya know, just like
kind of walkie talkie to him,
let him know his buddy Rustin is
ready to get the
fuck out of this maze.
That would-
Where are ya going?
I can see you.
You're just gonna walk?
You're just gonna back-
You're not even
gonna walk forward into it?
Really fucking cool,
man. You know what?
Have fun stopping
cousins from hand jobbing all
over each other out
here you fucking douche bag.
Damn I hate this fucking maze.
And I will strike thee down with
great vengeance and furious-
Fuck.
You talking to me?
I don't see anyone else here
so you must be talking to me.
Fucker.
Damn it.
Ok. You wanna play games?
Let's play games.
Say hello to
my little friend.
Fuck you!
Oh that's it.
Now I have had it with
this motherfucking scare-
Holy shit.
Shit. Hey, buddy. Hey, come on.
We've got to
get you out of here.
Mel?
He killed me, man.
No. He didn't, wait.
No listen.
I don't think I'm gonna make it.
You ever seen
an arm fall off before?
No, I haven't.
About as bad as you'd expect.
I need you to listen.
What?
I just want you to know that I'm
your brother and I would never
forgive myself
if I didn't tell you.
I thought you
looked so fat today.
Just saying it's okay
to say the truth sometimes.
Are you serious? Come on.
You know, carbs
aren't always your friends.
I need you to help me.
No, listen! I need
you to go into my room.
Under my bed
there's
some really dark porn stuff.
I don't
want mom and dad to see that.
Just been getting into
some really deep fetish shit.
Some of it feels kind of
illegal.
Mel, I hate you.
Fuck.
Did it look real?
Are you fucking kidding me?
I think that's the
best acting I've ever done.
You see this snot?
No, I got a real tear.
We should get the
fuck out of here, though.
These guys suck, dude.
Mel.
You seem busy.
I'm just gonna get the car.
Rustin!
I got him!
Oh good, you're awake.
What the fuck is going on?
I'm sorry we
don't have time for that.
The process takes forever and if
I told everyone what was going
on I would
never get any work done.
Let me go
you fucking crazy bitch!
No!
Fuck no, no, no, no.
You kiss your
mother with that mouth?
Look I'm gonna need
you to stop struggling
or this
is going to really hurt.
What the
fuck is going to hurt?
What the fuck is that?
This is a Dermatome.
Do you know what that is?
What the fuck is that?
It's a Dermatome.
I just told you that!
Why don't men ever listen?
No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no.
I'm guessing you
didn't go to medical school,
so I'm going to
dumb this down for you.
This is a.
DER-MA-TOME.
It removes
your skin from your body.
No, please, please,
please, no, please.
Here. Let me show you.
No, no, no,
no, hold on. Hold on.
See? That simple.
It gets a lot harder
around your eyes and nose,
but luckily you'll either be
passed out or dead by then.
Please,
please, please just let me go.
I want to go home, please.
Where's Wendy?
Please, please, please.
You talk too much.
You're taking
all the fun out of this.
I want to go home.
Wow, some men
really are faster than others.
Glad I didn't
let you tie me up,
that would have
been a disappointment.
Gemma! Henry is hurt!
What the fuck happened?
That lesbian
bitch stabbed him!
But he's dead?
Do something.
What do you want me to do?
He
Has a knife in his fucking head.
I don't
know. I'm not a doctor!
He's dead!
He's not breathing and he
has a knife in his fucking head!
Why
do men make me repeat myself?
Who's still out there?
Deakin and Andy.
Where's Andy?
Path 2.
And Deakin?
I think he's
looking for the lesbian.
Bernard, did
she tell you she was a lesbian?
No.
Did you see
her kissing a girl?
No.
Then why do you
think she's a lesbian?
She was tough and strong.
Just because a
woman is tough and strong
doesn't make her a lesbian.
It doesn't matter.
Which one of
them was on path 2?
The Cheerleader I think.
Well hello there.
I'm Frosty The Clown
here for all of
your frosty treat needs.
How has the maze been going?
Good, I think.
Hey can you tell me
how long I've been out here?
Uhnt uh.
An hour and 20 minutes.
Fuck.
There goes the 10 grand.
I'm sorry.
You'll have to
hurry to win any money.
So none of my
friends have made it out yet?
I don't think so.
You see they
ring the bell every time someone
wins the VIP maze,
and I haven't heard anything.
Have you?
No.
What's your
name little girl?
Wendy.
Wendy.
Would like a treat, Wendy?
They're free of charge.
What'll it be, Kevin?
Well, Frosty,
we've got some Push Pops,
some Drumsticks, and Twincycles
that are blood orange.
So what will it be?
No thanks. I'm trying to win.
Hey, these sound delicious
but between you and me,
I've gained
5 pounds this week.
Are you sure? They're free.
Free. Free, free, free, free.
Free as can be.
Yeah. I should
go if I'm gonna win.
Good luck!
Yeah, maybe
I'll catch you at the end.
Not if I catch you first.
Wendy!
Wendy!
Let's go!
Found you.
Melanie...
Hey Mel. Mel.
Hey, Mel.
Mel, hey.
Hey, you're still here.
Hey.
Are you ok?
I'm ok.
How are you?
Ok, fuck.
It's bad.
They gave me something.
I can't feel it.
I looked down once.
That was enough.
Fuck.
Melanie I am so sorry
I brought you guys here.
I'm so sorry.
No, it's not your fault.
It's not your fault.
I am so sorry. I'm scared.
I'm not ready to die.
I'm not ready to die.
I'm gonna get us out of here.
You're not gonna die.
I'm
gonna get us out of here, ok?
I promise. You trust me, right?
Ok.
There she is,
the answer to all our prayers.
She's the one.
After all these years.
I was beginning to
think that you were a myth.
I told you we'd find one.
15 years!
I can't believe it.
Your Mother would be so proud.
Your mother would
be proud of all of you.
And you.
You took my boy away.
And if I
didn't need you alive
I would
really enjoy gutting you.
You're
sure we need her alive?
It's not an exact
science, but I wouldn't risk it.
How about that one?
No.
Yeah we got
everything we need from her.
You can kill her.
No!
Thank you.
No, wait,
wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!
No! No! No! No! No! No!
Oh God!
I'm gonna
kill you, you son of a bitch!
I'm gonna
kill every last one of you.
She's feisty!
Yeah, we
still can't kill her yet.
Fuck you, you psychotic bitch!
I'm gonna cunt
punch the shit out of you!
What do you want from me?
What the fuck
do you want from me?
You didn't tell her?
Oh, you have
no idea how special you are.
Tell her.
Ugh, we don't need to tell her.
Tell her.
I want her to know.
I want her to know how she
helped complete
your Mother's work.
It has everything to do
with the hand stamp we gave you
on the way into the park.
The stamp?
No one ever
asks about that.
I mean what is
the point of the stamp?
Truth be
told, it's a litmus test.
It exposes those
with a particular gene.
It's a
relatively new gene.
It only happened in the last 30
years or so in human evolution.
And your friends
skins are filled with it.
First,
we remove the skin,
then we grind it down
and make it into a liquid.
And then we turn
it into a face cream.
Yeah.
And it stops the aging
process just like that.
Florence's Miracle Face Cream!
You're crazy.
You're all fucking crazy!
Now
your skin on the other hand.
Your skin has more of this gene
than we have
ever encountered before.
That's why
we need to keep you alive.
You see, when your
heart stops beating your skin
fights to stay
alive through osmosis,
sucking in everything from the
outside world
tainting all of my research.
Your skin can stay
alive for weeks after your dead,
how amazing is that?
Thanks for the science
lesson you crazy bitch!
Hey I'll have
you know I graduated with a PHD
in Biotechnology from UC Davis.
I have 5 Discovery Patents,
which is only
two less than my mother's.
And you little
sweetie, you're going to help me
isolate what makes your genes
special so we can
find more people like you.
God Damnit!
Whoa ho, I like this one!
Honey, where are you gonna go?
You're surrounded,
and if by some miracle
you get past us
you're in a
hundred acre corn maze.
It's over.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
No! No! No!
Let's talk about this.
Fuck you!
No!
There you go.
Thank you.
Have a nice day.
Thanks, you too.
Excuse me. I am looking to
see if anyone has seen my son.
He went
missing over a month ago.
Nice looking boy,
but I am sorry I haven't seen him.
Here, let me ask my father.
Papa...
this nice
woman's son is missing,
do you
recognize him?
No, I don't. Sorry.
He looks like a good kid.
Have you
contacted the police?
Yes I have, but
he's over 18 and so he's not
considered a runaway, and
there's no way to prove that he
didn't just take off
so they've been no help.
Well that's just awful.
I'm so sorry.
Thank you.
Well I'll keep
my eye out for him.
If I do see him is
there a way to contact you?
Yeah, all
my information is on the poster.
Ok, thank
you. I am so sorry.
Thank you.
Alright, thanks.
Excuse me ma'am?
I know you're
going through a rough time,
and from the looks of
it you haven't slept much.
I haven't.
I want you to try this.
On no, I'm
sorry - thank you though.
It's on the house.
Trust me, you
deserve a little pampering.
It takes the
days of worrying off the skin.
Go ahead,
I promise you'll love it.
The scent
it's really comforting.
Eucalyptus?
It
Reminds me of my son's room.
Gemma!
Gemma!
Well hey there.
I thought we had
you in a medically induced coma,
but it seems the drip ran out.
I wonder how that happened.
I'm sorry are you
trying to say something?
You see,
unfortunately when you sliced
your throat you did a number on
your vocal chords,
but you missed the arteries.
Luckily I was able
to stitch you back up,
and the progress
has been amazing!
It looks like your pain meds
are also starting to wear off.
I am
so sorry about that sweetie.
I'll be right back.
I know the human
body is a crazy thing right?
Did you know
that if taken care of properly,
it only takes 2 weeks
for human skin to grow back?
Yeah I know, so great!
So while
we hunt for other people like
you we can rest easy knowing
that every two weeks we can
just come back to you for more.
Now I am just
going to get this going,
and in a couple of seconds
you'll be back in that coma,
and you won't have to worry
about any of this anymore.
There...
Nighty night.
Nighty night.