Feed (2017) Movie Script
1
Liv...
Liv, wake up.
Come on! Hurry!
Hurry!
Let's go! Almost there!
Don't look down.
Look at me, look at me.
Come on. Keep coming.
It's okay, it's okay.
There you go. Grab my hand.
I got you.
Oh, hello, miss Grey.
Hi.
How are you?
Well, thank you.
Sorry to keep you waiting.
Oh. No. Not a problem
at all, sir.
Listen, I wanted
to tell you myself
that you have the highest
consistent GPA of your class
which means, at this rate,
you're going to be the person
to beat for valedictorian.
That's great.
I thought you'd be more excited.
Oh, I am. But there is still
a whole year left, so...
Where are you thinking
you'll apply for next fall?
Yale.
I've always planned
on going to Yale.
Well, you have a very
impressive record, miss Grey.
I think you're gonna have a lot
of wonderful opportunities.
If you like, I've made up
this list of schools
that I think would be wonderful
for you to consider
along with Yale.
I'm sure if you
set your mind to it,
you could get into all of them.
At the beginning of every
year, we have endless time.
You're the top of our class.
You should be
celebrating tonight.
I might be.
I don't want to celebrate
something that I might be.
Come on.
It's a Monday. No.
It's like we pretend
that death isn't coming.
I mean, we're all
gonna die, aren't we?
All right. Show of hands.
Who in here is not going to die?
Anyone?
Death is not something
that we like to think about,
but without death,
we have no context,
and if we have no context,
we have no meaning.
Why are we breathing?
I want you to take
a look around right now.
There's your meaning.
Individually, we cannot create a life
of meaning in the face of history,
but together, your community,
your family, your friends,
you can build a life of
meaning and leave a legacy.
Let us pray.
All right. Now we're
definitely throwing a party.
Oh, my god, shut up!
It's not for you.
It's for the community.
Otherwise my life
is meaningless.
Come on.
My parents aren't home.
My place.
Your face.
Wait, what are you doing
to my sister's face?
I'm throwing it a party.
Brack told her she's
number one in our class.
Hey, don't tell Casey about it, though.
She's gonna be really weird.
All right.
- Amen.
- Amen.
And now for a few words from
your senior class president,
Mr. Matthew Grey!
Hey.
The party is for you.
I have something special
I want to give you.
Thank you!
Oh, no. What?
Let me hear you make some
noise for our seniors!
You're gonna have to brave a party
on Monday night to find out.
We'll always be together.
So how far did
you run today, baby?
Um, just around
the loop and back.
Did you go to the top?
No.
Why not?
You go to the top,
it's exactly 5 miles.
I used to run it every morning.
You're young. You shouldn't
have any problem.
My back these days,
won't let me do anything.
And I asked you to stop
making these potatoes.
I'm gaining weight again.
You love them.
I'm sorry your
back's hurting, daddy.
Olivia's gonna be valedictorian.
Really?
Matt...
What?
Sweetheart, that's amazing.
Why didn't you say something?
'Cause there's still
a whole year.
Well, what's gonna change?
Olivia, sweetheart, you
don't have to be so modest.
It's gonna help people
to take you more seriously.
And let's face it,
you're a beautiful girl,
and that's the first thing
and sometimes the only thing
people see
when they look at you.
Just like your mom.
What about you, Matthew?
Are you gonna let your
sister be the smart twin,
or do grades not matter for
the senior class president?
Nah, not really.
All right. Well, you better
stay on track, Mattie boy,
'cause you're going to get
tapped your freshman year.
Tom!
What?
I was.
I barely kept my grades
with that social scene.
Phew!
Ugh!
I don't know. I feel like
I shouldn't have come.
This is the first
night of school.
You're right.
You should go home, study.
We need to wean
Julian off you, anyway.
Shut up.
Listen, Liv,
this is your night, okay?
I'm not gonna drink.
I'll stay sober.
We'll get home early.
Everything will be fine.
You just have to
do one thing for me.
What?
Have fun.
How am I gonna do it?
You just kind of
got to mingle and dance.
No!
How am I ever
gonna be away from you?
I think it's gonna be all right.
You won't even think about me.
You won't.
We want to get the circle going.
Come on, give me a circle.
All right!
Let's go create a legacy.
How you doing, man?
What's up, man?
Come on.
There he is.
Oh, come on now.
What's up, Dave?
What's up?
J! Tie this girl to a
seat and give her a shot
before she changes her mind.
Hey, where are your parents?
Now, what is the point of buying
a goddamn houseboat, Cheryl,
if you can't use it?
Lucky.
Here.
Uh, I'm good, man.
I'm good. I shall abstain.
No, Matt. Come on.
Hey, I can totally drive home.
Ladies, gentlemen!
A moment of your time, please, to
celebrate my wonderful sister.
Oh, my god.
May her reign of academic glory
actually realize without her
collapsing in total flames of failure.
Liv!
Thanks, bro. Thanks.
Cheers, Liv.
Oh, come on, all of it.
Oh! Matt!
Shit. Sorry.
Hey, Casey.
How you doing, girl?
Good. How are you?
Good.
Hey. Hey.
Hey, Liv!
Congrats. Matt told me.
Oh, cool.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cool.
Uh... 11:45 at the car, okay?
Don't be late.
Try and have some fun.
Okay.
Hi.
Hi.
Here.
Um... I think I should
probably just stick with one.
Can we just stay in here?
I don't wanna go back out.
It's too loud out there.
Yeah, we can stay in here.
I want my present.
Okay.
Sorry.
It's okay.
Hey.
There are lyrics, I promise.
I know.
Yeah, I hear your point,
but the question is...
Yes?
Have you read it?
The catcher in the rye?
Uh-huh.
That is offensive.
No, no, no.
I'm not talking about, like,
"hey, I'm 15 and angsty..."
Petrovich.
What up, dude?
I mean, actually read it.
I mean, the last passage
where he's watching his
sister on the merry-go-round.
I mean, come on,
that is just heartbreaking.
It's great.
Did you say great?
Yeah.
Oh, my god.
You heartless wench.
You do not deserve
what's behind this door.
Really?
Mmm-hmm.
Shit!
Let's go.
I didn't know what time it was.
Now.
I keep on banging my head
on this window.
Oh, wait until you get to bed and
close your eyes. You'll be spinning.
I can't believe you.
You were the one
who told me to have fun.
Just... don't.
You left me, anyways.
Don't.
The second we got there
to be with Casey. Liv...
Liv, shut up, all right?
What is your problem?
You are.
You have something to drink and
you turn into a complete idiot.
What happened, Matt?
Nothing.
He's like family.
It's disgusting.
It's wrong.
You told me to have fun.
You said it.
Yeah, I did.
I did, and you went out there and
you acted like a drunken slut.
You know what?
It's none of your business.
None of my business?
It's none of your business!
None of my business. I'm your brother!
Of course it's my business!
Yeah, well, I don't need
you to look out for me!
What?
Matt!
Am I gonna die?
It was an accident.
I love you, Matt.
I love you, too.
Hi.
Hi.
Hey.
How are you doing?
I'm okay.
What about you?
Where is she?
I'm gonna go upstairs.
All right, sweetheart.
Sweetheart. Hi.
Hi.
Here.
Oh, no, thanks...
Have something to eat.
You should.
Thanks.
Olivia?
I brought you some dinner.
Thanks.
I didn't mean to push you.
It was an accident.
They died because
I touched them.
The mom left.
She left them alone.
I didn't want you to see.
Am I gonna die?
You can't die
because we're gonna
die at the same time.
I promise.
Promise me, too.
I promise.
I called you in here
just to check in with you,
to see how you are.
So, how are you?
Um, it hasn't been the
greatest month of my life.
Miss Grey, your brother was
an incredible young man.
I can't express to you how
sorry we are for your loss.
For the loss we all felt
from his passing.
But to lose a twin, it must
have been beyond difficult.
I'm sure anyone could understand
you falling behind a bit
during these times.
Do I not have
the highest grades anymore?
Olivia, this isn't
about your work.
Your teachers have assured
me that you can catch up.
Who does?
You're a very motivated
young woman, aren't you?
I will make it up.
Mr. Brack, miss Hayden's
here to see you.
Listen, if there's
anything you need from me,
please, let me know.
Liv...
Liv, wake up.
Matt? Matt!
I missed you so much!
I missed you, too.
Please don't ever
leave me again, okay?
I didn't.
I didn't.
Where were you?
Just hold me, okay?
Just hold me.
Okay.
You left me here.
I wouldn't.
Please, don't.
I'd never leave you.
I'm right here.
Liv, you promise me?
I'm right here.
I love you, Liv.
I love you, too, Matt.
Punnett square,
a diagram that
is used to predict
an outcome of
a breeding experiment.
It is used to determine the
probability of an offspring
having a particular genotype,
such as eyes.
So in this cross,
what would the genotype be?
Liv?
Liv.
What?
The diagram.
Um...
Anyone else?
Casey.
Blue. Their children would
both have blue eyes.
Good.
Son of a bitch!
How'd you always
make it look so easy?
I hated you so much for that.
Never seemed like you cared.
So it always felt like I had to
care enough for the both of us.
I mean, I feel like I had to
carry around this huge weight.
And now I see that I wasn't...
We were both carrying it,
so it was easy,
and now that you're gone,
everything is so heavy.
It's too heavy for me
to carry it alone.
I can't be here alone.
I can't be here without you.
Yes, you can.
But you don't have to.
Want me to help you study?
Yeah?
What is this?
What is this, bio?
All right.
Bio charades.
Come on.
You know the drill.
Sit.
Let me grab this.
Okay.
What are you doing?
Are you serious?
It's RNA transcription, duh.
Come on.
One more hour of this and
you will kill it tomorrow.
I promised you.
Didn't I?
Yeah.
Okay.
Here's what we're gonna do.
Pick your words, and if
you get them all right,
we're eating cookie dough!
All right?
But I'm gonna eat some now
'cause, well, I'm starving,
and you're just going to have
to watch me eat it and drool.
All right?
Pick your words.
I miss recess, too.
We don't have to talk.
I don't know.
Right now, honestly, I feel fine.
Talking is fine.
Because it just feels
like he's home sick or...
I don't know, he's, like,
in a different class or...
Like this whole day
is just gonna go by
and I just missed him because
he just went to the bathroom,
and he just turned around
the corner from me, but...
But when I get back home, he's
gonna be sitting right there,
right across from me at dinner.
Just like every day and every
night that I've ever known.
He's always right there,
right next to me.
How long have you had
that dogtooth necklace?
Uh...
Since I was 10.
It's always kind of scared me.
Why?
Just 'cause it snapped.
That something you love
so much one morning
could just wake up
and try to kill you.
Ah, he was just old, I think.
My uncle was sad
when he had to put him down.
You know, he just wanted
something to remember him by.
It's a good thing.
Yeah.
It's always
brought me good luck.
I don't think I've ever
seen you take that off.
Never had a reason to.
Um... I gotta go
to band practice.
Can we keep doing this, though?
Talking and not talking.
Yeah.
Hey, keep him safe for me.
I will.
Hey...
I still want my present.
Still wants you.
Katie, well done.
Casey.
Work harder next time.
Liv?
Good to have you back.
Look, I'm in the middle
of dinner with my family.
Let me call you back in an hour.
How was school, sweetheart?
Um, better.
I'm getting caught up.
Well, that's good.
All right. Thanks.
Oh, my god!
I can't believe I forgot.
What?
To buy candy!
Do you still have
some at your desk?
Just ignore them, okay?
They'll go away.
Would you just sit, please!
I'd like to have dinner
with my family tonight.
Hey, dad?
Mmm-hmm.
Can I go over
to Julian's tonight?
What? Tonight?
It's a school night.
Dad, it's Halloween.
Everybody's out.
I finished all of
my homework for tonight,
and I promise you I'll have much
more time to catch up this weekend.
This isn't like you.
What?
Going to parties.
It's not a party.
She said she's finished
everything, tom.
So what, you're in
on this with her?
I just don't want her
moping in her room anymore.
Really, I don't have to go. I
just wanted to hang out with him.
Look, if Julian and any
of his other friends
wanna come over here
and hang out,
they're more than welcome.
I can't even believe
that his parents
are letting him
throw another party.
Samantha, please, would you just
go get the candy out of my desk?
Trick or treat!
Okay.
But I want you home early.
Understood?
Of course!
Before midnight.
Yes.
Yes, sir. I promise.
Thank you, daddy.
- Hey.
- Hey.
You're going?
Yeah. They said yes.
Go. See you in the car
in five minutes.
Okay.
Thanks.
You've worked hard this week.
Go have fun.
I don't wanna go
in there without you.
You're never without me.
You scared me.
Come dance with me.
Yeah. Just a minute.
Hey.
Hi.
Hey.
Uh, sorry. It's all yours.
Oh, well...
Okay. Here.
I brought you a drink.
Oh.
Thanks.
I put something in it.
I'm just kidding.
It's so loud in here.
Why don't we just go outside
and we can have a smoke.
Um... no, that's okay.
Are you sure?
Yeah. Yeah.
I'm cool. Thanks, though.
Thanks for the drink.
Okay.
See you later.
Yeah.
I was thinking maybe I could
give your present another shot.
Sorry.
You know, one of these days
we're gonna get to spend more
than just five minutes together.
I know.
I know. Okay? I'm sorry.
Are you okay?
I'm fine.
I just really shouldn't have
come out tonight.
I'm happy
you're taking care of him.
And I really hope
he's taking care of you.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, I really have to go.
I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry it took so long.
What's wrong? Hey?
I totally took forever.
It's okay. It's okay.
It was stupid. I'm sorry.
It's all right.
Hey. Shh.
Breathe.
Breathe.
It's okay. I'm here.
I'm here.
I'm here.
Your makeup looks
really pretty like that.
Oh, my god!
Oh, Jesus.
No, no, no.
No, no, no. Hey.
Your eyes.
Thanks.
I'm kind of surprised
you stayed out so late
on a school night.
How are you feeling, Olivia?
I'm fine.
I'm sorry.
I'm just a little bit tired.
How are your, uh,
applications coming along?
They're good.
Um, I decided not to do
early decision to Yale,
so that I could apply to all of
the schools that you recommended.
Hmm...
Your, um, teachers tell me
that you're caught up
with all your
assignments and tests.
So, am I back to
being valedictorian?
I'm really impressed
with your dedication, Olivia.
Keep up the good work.
The steak's cold, Samantha.
I'm gonna go study.
I'm tired.
Come on, Liv.
What are we writing about?
Hey, hey. Do not let him
distract you, okay?
Look, every single
person in the country
our age is writing one of these.
It's exciting. How are you
gonna make yours different?
I don't know.
Liv, hey.
What? Put it down. Concentrate.
I am!
No, you're not!
You're sitting there
trying to think
of a funny way to text him back.
Now put the phone down!
Now tell me...
What are we gonna write about?
What are we gonna write about?
I don't know! Okay? What
are we gonna write about?
What are we gonna write about?
I don't know!
Okay.
All right.
Get up.
Matt.
Get up!
You always wait.
You wait for everyone to
leave before you change.
I'm on my period.
I need to talk to you.
Okay. About what?
You look sick.
I'm fine.
A lot of people are
worried about you.
Okay.
If you need to talk, then
I'd be happy... I don't.
Okay. Well,
I want to talk.
I lost him, too.
I'm not saying
it's the same thing,
but it would be nice to
be able to talk to you.
Okay. Well, I'm not really
here to make you feel nice!
I'm sorry.
What do you wanna talk about?
That night.
Did he say something to you?
Like what?
About me.
About what I said.
Please, I just need to know.
Please.
Um...
I don't really remember.
Okay. We were
fighting in the car
and then we crashed.
It was my fault.
He was mad at me.
What are you talking about?
We were talking and flirting,
and I thought it was finally
gonna be the start of something,
and I was just so happy.
Then he went away.
I mean, he was still there,
but he was...
He was somewhere else.
He said it was a mistake.
I mean, you don't
just look at someone
on their knees
and say that to them!
I just wanted to
say something mean.
I just wanted to say
something to hurt him.
What did you say?
I said,
"then go find your sister.
"She's the one you
really want to..."
Let me guess.
- Hi.
- Hi.
Um... I was just gonna
leave you a message.
What's up?
I've been calling you.
I know. I'm sorry. I've just
been a little bit sick.
Yeah, everyone is.
I just talked to Casey, and she
can barely get out of bed.
Is she okay?
Yeah.
She said staying home
today helped.
Are you okay?
What?
I said, are you okay?
Casey didn't stay home today.
I saw her in ballet.
I mean,
maybe she went home early,
but she wasn't in
cans this morning.
She told me she slept all day.
Liv?
Yeah.
Do you want me to come over?
No. You don't want to
come over here.
I mean, you can come here.
I can make you some soup.
Let me take care of you.
Where are you going?
Um, I thought you and dad
were going out to dinner.
He canceled.
Why?
I'm just gonna go
over to Julian's.
He wants my help with calc.
Did you eat?
I left you some pasta.
Mmm-hmm. I did.
It was really good.
Hey, mom. You okay?
I'm fine, baby.
You say hi to
Julian for me, yeah?
Hi.
Hi.
Yeah, I wanted it to be nice.
Thanks.
Yeah.
Houseboat?
Yep.
One would think that
I didn't have parents.
You, um...
Have you eaten yet?
It's not a great soup, but it's
really gonna suck if it's cold.
I'm just really not
that hungry these days.
Okay.
You know, I miss him a lot.
I think about him.
We weren't really
that close anymore,
but I've never
known anyone who's died.
Yeah, me neither.
I guess that's pretty lucky.
It doesn't feel that lucky.
Liv...
I really miss him.
I can't even begin to
imagine how much you do.
But look, I'm here for you.
Whatever you need, I will do it.
Sorry.
No, you're fine.
I think it's trying
to tell you something.
Yeah. I think
I am a little hungry.
Here.
Is it terrible?
No. No,
I mean, it's soup.
No, it's glorified spaghettios.
I'm so sorry that
I haven't been here more.
No, you're doing great.
I'm really not.
I've been, um, talking
to people differently.
It's like...
It's like there's
some part of me
that can't get close
enough to see them.
So, it makes it
really hard to care.
What about me?
I see you.
It's just that sometimes
there's something in-between.
What?
Is it me?
Sorry.
Oh, hey. Whoa.
What's wrong?
Nothing. I'm so sorry.
I'm fine. I'm sorry.
It's okay.
It's okay. It's fine.
Come here.
Oh, my god.
Sorry.
No, if you don't want to,
it's not a big deal.
No, it's not that.
It's okay.
You are so beautiful.
Do you want me to go, Liv,
so you can be alone?
No.
Yes. You are.
You need to know that because I see
you not taking care of yourself.
Don't let him distract you, Liv.
What do you mean?
Liv, I'm just...
I'm worried about you.
Oh, now he wants
to look after you.
I'm fine.
I miss him, too.
You will not use me
to get in my sister's pants.
Can we please
not talk about him?
He's gonna go to college.
He's gonna meet other girls.
Smarter, prettier girls who aren't
messed up in the head like you.
What happens next year?
He's gonna leave you, Liv.
What do you mean?
When you leave.
Liv...
I...
I like you.
All right. I've liked you for
as long as I can remember.
He's gonna hurt you, Liv.
He's gonna hurt you.
I know it.
I just don't want it to hurt.
No, I would never hurt you.
I'll never leave you
because I love you.
Liv, I love you.
I want you.
Uh... are you sure?
Yes.
Okay. Okay.
Uh...
Um... uh...
Wait. Wait one second, okay?
Okay.
Shit!
You shouldn't be here for this.
Where do you want me to go?
Please, not for this.
Just go away, just for a little while.
Liv. Liv, listen,
you can't just pick and choose when
you want me to be around, okay?
That's not how it works!
Please just go away.
Just for a little while.
No!
Matt!
Do you really need
his love that bad?
Weird.
Let's see how long you can
last without me this time.
Matt!
I'm so sorry.
I didn't mean...
Um... I think, uh,
maybe you should go.
Please, please.
Let me just...
Okay. No, you need help!
Julian.
I'm sorry. I don't know how
or what, but you need help.
Look, I know things have been
messed up this past year...
"Messed up"?
This is not my fault.
I can't just pretend that
you saying that is okay.
Okay, but everything else
before that was okay?
Yeah, I...
Liv. Liv!
Get help.
Fuck you!
All right, and I haven't given you a
lot of assignments during the break,
but please,
do a little bit of reading.
I'm really excited
for all of you.
I know you've all gotten
in your college applications.
Congrats on that.
Uh, but definitely
for the people
who are waiting
for early enrollment,
don't freak out.
Enjoy your vacations.
Enjoy your families.
Get some good rest.
You all have my email,
don't be afraid to use it.
I'll see you in January.
Pick up your papers before you go.
Hey, Casey.
- Case?
- Bye, everyone.
Bye, guys. Good job.
I'll see you after the break.
Olivia.
I'd like to speak to you.
Good job, guys.
Hey.
This isn't you.
Well, my name's on it.
You have never
gotten below an a-
on a pop quiz in my class, ever.
You make everything up. You come
back as yourself, and now this?
He thinks you don't
work hard enough.
What's going on?
What?
Are you on something?
No.
Some of the other teachers have
been expressing their concern.
About my grades?
No, about you.
What about me?
About you not being yourself.
You just said that,
so then who am I?
You want to know what I think? I
think that you're overworked.
I think you're
taking on too much.
Can we go? I'm starving.
I'll be fine.
Can I help you?
Geez, this again?
I'm fine, thank you.
I'm gonna have to
call your parents.
Because I got one bad grade?
No, because
I think you need help.
Help? With what exactly?
Studying? I'm not concerned
about your grades.
I'm really not.
So what is it about?
Okay. You keep on telling
me that I need help,
so I just need to understand what
exactly I need so much help to do?
I'm concerned about your health.
Shut up!
I'm not your enemy here, Liv.
He is.
You know what?
Fine.
Call them.
Why don't you tell them that,
with everything else that's
gonna suck this Christmas,
they need to worry about
the academic standing
of their remaining child.
'Cause I really think my family
needs one more thing to grieve for.
Liv.
You promised me, Liv.
You promised me.
What the hell are you doing?
Hey?
Sorry.
Are you okay?
We did it.
To take your call.
Please leave a message
and we'll get back to you.
Thank you.
Hi.
Uh, Craig Donovan calling again.
I'm not sure if you've seen
my other message, but...
I understand the holidays
are a busy time,
but I'd really like to speak
with you about Olivia.
You can reach me any time
on my personal cell,
619-178-1974. Thank you.
Message erased.
This is the '59.
It's pretty darn good.
Livvy! Come on
in here, sweetheart.
Say hello to Harvey and Kate.
Hi.
Merry Christmas, gorgeous.
Well, you certainly
made good on the buffet.
She's like me.
Beanpole till I was 30.
I can't eat like that anymore.
Tell them what
you did today, sweetheart.
Dad...
She applied to 20 schools.
All the ivies,
plus the sister schools,
and probably a whole bunch
more I have no idea about.
But Yale is the only one she
really cares about. Right, baby?
Skinny Minnie is
pulling her weight.
Well, don't forget
about dessert, sweetheart.
I brought four pies,
plus ice cream that,
lord knows, we don't
need to be eating.
I forgot about them.
I'll just go put them out.
Whole foods.
Hello.
Yeah, hello, Mr. Donovan.
Hey, it's time to celebrate.
Come here.
Come out.
You did it, Liv.
You proved them all wrong.
And now you're gonna
prove it to yourself.
Okay.
Sit.
Sit.
Hey, it's okay.
Matt, Matt, Matt...
Hey. Liv, Liv, I got you.
It's okay.
I've got you.
Okay?
It's okay.
I got you, it's okay.
You're okay, you're okay.
Okay?
Yeah.
Feels good, right?
Yeah.
I'm proud of you.
Told you we'd get out
of here. Didn't I?
Come on.
Matt, what are you doing?
It's okay.
Matt, no, please!
Hey. Please, don't
make me do this!
Hey, hey.
Hey, it's okay.
Relax.
This isn't going away, Liv.
It's not gonna end after
graduation, all right?
Do you think dad's
just suddenly gonna go
let you do whatever you want?
He's not. Okay?
You're going to his school,
you're taking over his firm,
just like he wanted me to do.
Hey.
They're never gonna love you.
Not like I do.
Not like I do.
Hey. Hey, look at me.
Hey. It's okay.
It's okay.
Liv?
That's it, I got you.
I got you.
Okay?
I got you.
I just wanted you to feel free.
- I love you.
- I love you.
Will it hurt?
Nothing's ever gonna hurt again.
You have to do this, Liv.
You promised me.
Tom!
She'll be okay, won't she?
You never cared about her.
You've never even cared
what she wants in life...
Mom!
What's it about?
It's about control.
Daddy!
Please!
What are you... no!
Hold her arm,
hold her arm! Steady.
Matt!
Matt!
Please, don't leave me.
Mealtime.
If you miss a meal, Olivia,
you have to drink
a replacement shake.
I can't move.
It's your meds.
I drooled through
my first three weeks here.
You just have to
force yourself to sit up.
Your body will normalize.
You don't even exist to me!
You don't even exist.
You are nothing.
You are shit!
Betsey, what do you have?
Nothing.
May I see it?
It's a book.
Betsey?
No, it's mine.
Betsey.
This is healthy. Okay?
I'm not reading about
calories or recipes.
I'm not looking at models.
It's a health magazine.
It's a trigger.
Everything is a goddamn trigger!
Do you remember the first time
you restricted food, Olivia?
- I what?
- Sweetheart,
we hardly ever
see you eat anymore.
I eat.
Fruit, and just
part of your dinner.
I eat at school.
You've got to put some meat
on those bones, little girl.
Yeah.
Daddy's orders, little girl.
Okay.
I understand that I do
need to put on weight.
Um, so how much weight do I have
to put on before I can go home?
Have you been feeling particularly
stressed or anxious this past year?
Mealtime, Olivia.
Don't. I need that.
I'm not that hungry right now.
Are you sure?
Yeah.
Oh, can I just
eat it in my room?
I'll get you a shake.
I'm sorry.
Matt...
I'm sorry.
Shut up.
I don't wanna be
here either, you know,
but at least
we're in here together.
Here...
Come on, have this.
I'm not hungry.
I told you to shut up, Liv!
I do not wanna hear your voice!
Do you understand?
We could have been
out of here, okay?
This is your fault!
You're the reason I'm here!
We had a chance to be free,
and you couldn't take it.
You were too scared.
Now we're here.
Are you finished, Olivia?
Get out!
Refusing to take meals
and refusing shakes
forces us to administer
enteral feedings.
I'll drink it!
You were given
that option, Olivia.
What?
I said I'll drink it!
You did this to yourself.
You did this to yourself.
This is your session, Olivia.
We don't have to talk
if you don't want to.
This place is insane.
This place is insane.
Why?
I told her I would eat.
And then you didn't.
Well, the meds that you're having
me take make me feel sick.
Then, perhaps you should
get food enterally
until you don't
feel sick anymore.
You haven't eaten
normally in months.
You might not
feel hungry anymore.
Well, I get hungry.
I just...
What?
What happens
when you get hungry?
I was very busy this year.
I had a lot of work to do,
so I just forgot.
You forgot to eat?
Mmm.
You and your brother did a lot of the
same things together, didn't you?
You shared the same
friends, similar schedules.
Yeah.
Shared a car?
Yeah.
Yeah.
After he passed,
it must have been difficult
to engage in those things alone.
Are you asking me if after the
accident things were difficult?
I'm asking how did you do everything
you did before with Matt, alone?
I just did it.
He even smells like bullshit.
Is there something funny?
No. Nothing's
funny anymore.
Do you remember
when you became so busy
that you started
to forget to eat?
I didn't always forget.
When you started to restrict.
I didn't restrict!
But you hid food, didn't you?
Food that you told your
family you were eating?
You hid it behind a tree.
A tree that was very important
to you and your brother.
He thinks he knows
our story, Liv.
Were you hiding the food so
that you didn't have to eat it?
No.
Don't even bother.
Then why hide the food?
I hid the food...
Get us out of here!
Was there a reason
you started hiding it?
A voice that
told you not to eat?
What's he talking...
What?
Is there a voice that tells
you or tells you not to eat?
No.
Is there a voice that tells
you to do other things?
When to work,
to sleep, to speak?
Is he kidding?
Doesn't everyone have a voice
that tells them what to do?
Right.
Your conscience?
Does your conscience
tell you not to eat?
No.
Who does?
Why are you asking me this?
Because, often, people
with an eating disorder
describe a voice in their
head that sounds different.
I don't have
a problem with food.
This isn't about food, really.
Do you find you feel
out of control? Overwhelmed?
Yeah, I feel stressed
a lot and I feel scared.
Because of school.
No, because of everything.
Well, when you feel stressed or
scared, what helps you the most?
Liv, I wanna go, Liv.
I wanna go right now.
- I wanna go home.
- Now.
When can I go home?
When you eat, Olivia.
Okay. Then I will.
I promise you, I will.
I just need to do it
alone in my room, please.
You have a history
of sabotaging food,
of either ruining it
or hiding it.
The way you spilled
the replacement shake.
We have to make sure
that you're eating, Olivia.
You're not hungry.
I'm not that hungry.
If you don't,
your body will give out.
He's lying!
But more specifically,
your heart will give out,
and then you will die.
He's lying, Liv.
Slowly,
but horribly and certainly.
Let's go. Now!
I wanna go back to my room.
You can go if you like.
You and your brother loved each
other very much, didn't you?
What do you think he would say
to you if he saw you in here?
What's wrong, Liv?
Nothing. I love you.
Matt, am I gonna die?
Quiet.
I wanna be that happy.
I just wanted you to feel free.
Sorry.
You can't die
because we're gonna
die at the same time.
No, we won't.
Quiet.
Please, don't tell.
I promise.
Promise me, too.
I promise.
Dr. Rothstein?
I know it's early, but I
really do need to talk to you.
Olivia, what's wrong?
I'm just scared.
Hey.
Tell him what he wants to hear.
What is it?
Come on in. Have a seat.
I can't.
Yes, you can.
Yes, you can. Just lie.
Tell him you'll get better.
You'll put on weight. Anything.
Just sit down,
and get us out of here.
- I don't wanna do this.
- Yes, you do.
- Whatever you wanna say.
- Take your time.
When I was born,
my brother was with me.
He was always with me.
What are you doing?
My whole life, I've never
known anything else.
And when things
got really bad this year,
I didn't know how...
I just couldn't.
When he passed.
Liv, what are you doing?
When he passed.
When he...
Liv, I'm right here.
Liv, I'm right here! Okay?
I couldn't...
You promised me, Liv!
You promised me!
I couldn't...
I couldn't...
Breathe, Olivia.
What? You want me to go?
Do you want me to go?
No, no, no!
Please, please!
Deep breaths.
Deep breaths, Olivia.
Come on.
When he...
When he what?
When he came...
You are nothing without me.
You wanna see how long you can
last without me this time, huh?
Olivia, you can do this.
You're strong.
You are weak without me!
When Matt died...
You promised me, Liv!
What are you doing?
When Matt died...
What are you doing?
What are you doing right now?
We promised that we would
die together, and I didn't.
That's not your fault.
That's your fault.
And I begged for him
to come back to me.
I did.
And I thought that he did.
And I did.
I thought that he
came back for me.
Liv, I did come back for you.
I'm right here.
Look at me!
How can you do this to me?
I've been right here
by your side the whole time.
I hate you.
I hate you.
I don't love you anymore.
I never did love you.
I made up the whole thing.
You're nothing without me.
So come with me.
I'm taking you with me.
No, you're not!
You're not!
Because you're not my brother.
You're not my brother.
You're okay.
It's okay.
When you come
into the world with someone,
everything you've ever seen,
everything you've
ever touched or smelled
is with them by your side.
And a world without them
doesn't even seem possible.
When he left this world,
I made up a new one.
One where I could see him.
First, in dreams,
and then when I was awake.
The more time that
I spent in our world,
the more I could feel myself
slipping away from this one.
Do you think that's what
he would have wanted?
No, Matt wouldn't
have wanted me to die.
He would have
wanted me to live, a lot.
He would have wanted me
to have fun and to grow up,
see new things, fall in love.
But that voice wasn't Matt.
I know that.
You have lunch out today.
Yeah.
Take deep breaths.
And just remember, health is a
choice, and you can make it.
Can I help you?
Uh, yeah.
I'm just looking for him.
Great.
Hi.
Hi.
I missed him.
Yeah, he missed you.
Hey. So, um...
I'm sorry that I didn't visit.
You know, it just
kind of seemed like...
No, I didn't want you to.
I didn't want you
to see me like that.
Hey, what can I get you? Hi.
Um...
You go first.
Okay.
I'm gonna do the deluxe
burger with cheddar.
And for you?
Mmm...
Just, I think a salad
with some mixed Greens.
Anything on top?
Chicken, quinoa?
No. Thanks.
Thanks. Hey, actually, could
we get onion rings to start?
Sure.
Thank you.
Sorry.
They just make me eat so much I
just really wanna have a salad
and to not have to drink
the dressing in the end.
They make you drink dressing?
Well, everything is portioned
out for weight gain.
So if you have
anything left over,
then you kind of have to...
I'm sorry, we don't really
have to talk about this.
Okay.
Seriously, if I was still bad, I would
have ordered everything that you did
and then I would have
shoved it under my dress
and probably when you went
to the bathroom,
I might have, like, found a tree
outside to go plant it under.
It's okay.
You can laugh.
So do you...
I don't know, do you still...
Not really.
Um, I just feel him.
Like, right before I go to bed or right
when I'm about to turn a corner.
But I think
that's probably just...
Phantom twin syndrome.
Well, you know what,
I think it's good
that you don't.
I mean, not that it's good
that you don't, but...
I don't know, I think it's...
I think it's good
that you're here.
Yeah.
I am here.
Hey, I, um...
I brought my guitar,
if you wanna sit
in the park, after.
That sounds nice.
I might even play you my song.
Whoa! It's been a
long time coming.
I don't think I could handle it.
It would be too much!
Onion rings to start.
Thank you.
And a mixed Greens salad.
Your burger will be
out in a second.
Can I get you anything else?
Uh, no, I think we're good.
Hey?
Hey.
If this is too much, we can go.
No.
I'm fine.
Liv...
Liv, wake up.
Come on! Hurry!
Hurry!
Let's go! Almost there!
Don't look down.
Look at me, look at me.
Come on. Keep coming.
It's okay, it's okay.
There you go. Grab my hand.
I got you.
Oh, hello, miss Grey.
Hi.
How are you?
Well, thank you.
Sorry to keep you waiting.
Oh. No. Not a problem
at all, sir.
Listen, I wanted
to tell you myself
that you have the highest
consistent GPA of your class
which means, at this rate,
you're going to be the person
to beat for valedictorian.
That's great.
I thought you'd be more excited.
Oh, I am. But there is still
a whole year left, so...
Where are you thinking
you'll apply for next fall?
Yale.
I've always planned
on going to Yale.
Well, you have a very
impressive record, miss Grey.
I think you're gonna have a lot
of wonderful opportunities.
If you like, I've made up
this list of schools
that I think would be wonderful
for you to consider
along with Yale.
I'm sure if you
set your mind to it,
you could get into all of them.
At the beginning of every
year, we have endless time.
You're the top of our class.
You should be
celebrating tonight.
I might be.
I don't want to celebrate
something that I might be.
Come on.
It's a Monday. No.
It's like we pretend
that death isn't coming.
I mean, we're all
gonna die, aren't we?
All right. Show of hands.
Who in here is not going to die?
Anyone?
Death is not something
that we like to think about,
but without death,
we have no context,
and if we have no context,
we have no meaning.
Why are we breathing?
I want you to take
a look around right now.
There's your meaning.
Individually, we cannot create a life
of meaning in the face of history,
but together, your community,
your family, your friends,
you can build a life of
meaning and leave a legacy.
Let us pray.
All right. Now we're
definitely throwing a party.
Oh, my god, shut up!
It's not for you.
It's for the community.
Otherwise my life
is meaningless.
Come on.
My parents aren't home.
My place.
Your face.
Wait, what are you doing
to my sister's face?
I'm throwing it a party.
Brack told her she's
number one in our class.
Hey, don't tell Casey about it, though.
She's gonna be really weird.
All right.
- Amen.
- Amen.
And now for a few words from
your senior class president,
Mr. Matthew Grey!
Hey.
The party is for you.
I have something special
I want to give you.
Thank you!
Oh, no. What?
Let me hear you make some
noise for our seniors!
You're gonna have to brave a party
on Monday night to find out.
We'll always be together.
So how far did
you run today, baby?
Um, just around
the loop and back.
Did you go to the top?
No.
Why not?
You go to the top,
it's exactly 5 miles.
I used to run it every morning.
You're young. You shouldn't
have any problem.
My back these days,
won't let me do anything.
And I asked you to stop
making these potatoes.
I'm gaining weight again.
You love them.
I'm sorry your
back's hurting, daddy.
Olivia's gonna be valedictorian.
Really?
Matt...
What?
Sweetheart, that's amazing.
Why didn't you say something?
'Cause there's still
a whole year.
Well, what's gonna change?
Olivia, sweetheart, you
don't have to be so modest.
It's gonna help people
to take you more seriously.
And let's face it,
you're a beautiful girl,
and that's the first thing
and sometimes the only thing
people see
when they look at you.
Just like your mom.
What about you, Matthew?
Are you gonna let your
sister be the smart twin,
or do grades not matter for
the senior class president?
Nah, not really.
All right. Well, you better
stay on track, Mattie boy,
'cause you're going to get
tapped your freshman year.
Tom!
What?
I was.
I barely kept my grades
with that social scene.
Phew!
Ugh!
I don't know. I feel like
I shouldn't have come.
This is the first
night of school.
You're right.
You should go home, study.
We need to wean
Julian off you, anyway.
Shut up.
Listen, Liv,
this is your night, okay?
I'm not gonna drink.
I'll stay sober.
We'll get home early.
Everything will be fine.
You just have to
do one thing for me.
What?
Have fun.
How am I gonna do it?
You just kind of
got to mingle and dance.
No!
How am I ever
gonna be away from you?
I think it's gonna be all right.
You won't even think about me.
You won't.
We want to get the circle going.
Come on, give me a circle.
All right!
Let's go create a legacy.
How you doing, man?
What's up, man?
Come on.
There he is.
Oh, come on now.
What's up, Dave?
What's up?
J! Tie this girl to a
seat and give her a shot
before she changes her mind.
Hey, where are your parents?
Now, what is the point of buying
a goddamn houseboat, Cheryl,
if you can't use it?
Lucky.
Here.
Uh, I'm good, man.
I'm good. I shall abstain.
No, Matt. Come on.
Hey, I can totally drive home.
Ladies, gentlemen!
A moment of your time, please, to
celebrate my wonderful sister.
Oh, my god.
May her reign of academic glory
actually realize without her
collapsing in total flames of failure.
Liv!
Thanks, bro. Thanks.
Cheers, Liv.
Oh, come on, all of it.
Oh! Matt!
Shit. Sorry.
Hey, Casey.
How you doing, girl?
Good. How are you?
Good.
Hey. Hey.
Hey, Liv!
Congrats. Matt told me.
Oh, cool.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cool.
Uh... 11:45 at the car, okay?
Don't be late.
Try and have some fun.
Okay.
Hi.
Hi.
Here.
Um... I think I should
probably just stick with one.
Can we just stay in here?
I don't wanna go back out.
It's too loud out there.
Yeah, we can stay in here.
I want my present.
Okay.
Sorry.
It's okay.
Hey.
There are lyrics, I promise.
I know.
Yeah, I hear your point,
but the question is...
Yes?
Have you read it?
The catcher in the rye?
Uh-huh.
That is offensive.
No, no, no.
I'm not talking about, like,
"hey, I'm 15 and angsty..."
Petrovich.
What up, dude?
I mean, actually read it.
I mean, the last passage
where he's watching his
sister on the merry-go-round.
I mean, come on,
that is just heartbreaking.
It's great.
Did you say great?
Yeah.
Oh, my god.
You heartless wench.
You do not deserve
what's behind this door.
Really?
Mmm-hmm.
Shit!
Let's go.
I didn't know what time it was.
Now.
I keep on banging my head
on this window.
Oh, wait until you get to bed and
close your eyes. You'll be spinning.
I can't believe you.
You were the one
who told me to have fun.
Just... don't.
You left me, anyways.
Don't.
The second we got there
to be with Casey. Liv...
Liv, shut up, all right?
What is your problem?
You are.
You have something to drink and
you turn into a complete idiot.
What happened, Matt?
Nothing.
He's like family.
It's disgusting.
It's wrong.
You told me to have fun.
You said it.
Yeah, I did.
I did, and you went out there and
you acted like a drunken slut.
You know what?
It's none of your business.
None of my business?
It's none of your business!
None of my business. I'm your brother!
Of course it's my business!
Yeah, well, I don't need
you to look out for me!
What?
Matt!
Am I gonna die?
It was an accident.
I love you, Matt.
I love you, too.
Hi.
Hi.
Hey.
How are you doing?
I'm okay.
What about you?
Where is she?
I'm gonna go upstairs.
All right, sweetheart.
Sweetheart. Hi.
Hi.
Here.
Oh, no, thanks...
Have something to eat.
You should.
Thanks.
Olivia?
I brought you some dinner.
Thanks.
I didn't mean to push you.
It was an accident.
They died because
I touched them.
The mom left.
She left them alone.
I didn't want you to see.
Am I gonna die?
You can't die
because we're gonna
die at the same time.
I promise.
Promise me, too.
I promise.
I called you in here
just to check in with you,
to see how you are.
So, how are you?
Um, it hasn't been the
greatest month of my life.
Miss Grey, your brother was
an incredible young man.
I can't express to you how
sorry we are for your loss.
For the loss we all felt
from his passing.
But to lose a twin, it must
have been beyond difficult.
I'm sure anyone could understand
you falling behind a bit
during these times.
Do I not have
the highest grades anymore?
Olivia, this isn't
about your work.
Your teachers have assured
me that you can catch up.
Who does?
You're a very motivated
young woman, aren't you?
I will make it up.
Mr. Brack, miss Hayden's
here to see you.
Listen, if there's
anything you need from me,
please, let me know.
Liv...
Liv, wake up.
Matt? Matt!
I missed you so much!
I missed you, too.
Please don't ever
leave me again, okay?
I didn't.
I didn't.
Where were you?
Just hold me, okay?
Just hold me.
Okay.
You left me here.
I wouldn't.
Please, don't.
I'd never leave you.
I'm right here.
Liv, you promise me?
I'm right here.
I love you, Liv.
I love you, too, Matt.
Punnett square,
a diagram that
is used to predict
an outcome of
a breeding experiment.
It is used to determine the
probability of an offspring
having a particular genotype,
such as eyes.
So in this cross,
what would the genotype be?
Liv?
Liv.
What?
The diagram.
Um...
Anyone else?
Casey.
Blue. Their children would
both have blue eyes.
Good.
Son of a bitch!
How'd you always
make it look so easy?
I hated you so much for that.
Never seemed like you cared.
So it always felt like I had to
care enough for the both of us.
I mean, I feel like I had to
carry around this huge weight.
And now I see that I wasn't...
We were both carrying it,
so it was easy,
and now that you're gone,
everything is so heavy.
It's too heavy for me
to carry it alone.
I can't be here alone.
I can't be here without you.
Yes, you can.
But you don't have to.
Want me to help you study?
Yeah?
What is this?
What is this, bio?
All right.
Bio charades.
Come on.
You know the drill.
Sit.
Let me grab this.
Okay.
What are you doing?
Are you serious?
It's RNA transcription, duh.
Come on.
One more hour of this and
you will kill it tomorrow.
I promised you.
Didn't I?
Yeah.
Okay.
Here's what we're gonna do.
Pick your words, and if
you get them all right,
we're eating cookie dough!
All right?
But I'm gonna eat some now
'cause, well, I'm starving,
and you're just going to have
to watch me eat it and drool.
All right?
Pick your words.
I miss recess, too.
We don't have to talk.
I don't know.
Right now, honestly, I feel fine.
Talking is fine.
Because it just feels
like he's home sick or...
I don't know, he's, like,
in a different class or...
Like this whole day
is just gonna go by
and I just missed him because
he just went to the bathroom,
and he just turned around
the corner from me, but...
But when I get back home, he's
gonna be sitting right there,
right across from me at dinner.
Just like every day and every
night that I've ever known.
He's always right there,
right next to me.
How long have you had
that dogtooth necklace?
Uh...
Since I was 10.
It's always kind of scared me.
Why?
Just 'cause it snapped.
That something you love
so much one morning
could just wake up
and try to kill you.
Ah, he was just old, I think.
My uncle was sad
when he had to put him down.
You know, he just wanted
something to remember him by.
It's a good thing.
Yeah.
It's always
brought me good luck.
I don't think I've ever
seen you take that off.
Never had a reason to.
Um... I gotta go
to band practice.
Can we keep doing this, though?
Talking and not talking.
Yeah.
Hey, keep him safe for me.
I will.
Hey...
I still want my present.
Still wants you.
Katie, well done.
Casey.
Work harder next time.
Liv?
Good to have you back.
Look, I'm in the middle
of dinner with my family.
Let me call you back in an hour.
How was school, sweetheart?
Um, better.
I'm getting caught up.
Well, that's good.
All right. Thanks.
Oh, my god!
I can't believe I forgot.
What?
To buy candy!
Do you still have
some at your desk?
Just ignore them, okay?
They'll go away.
Would you just sit, please!
I'd like to have dinner
with my family tonight.
Hey, dad?
Mmm-hmm.
Can I go over
to Julian's tonight?
What? Tonight?
It's a school night.
Dad, it's Halloween.
Everybody's out.
I finished all of
my homework for tonight,
and I promise you I'll have much
more time to catch up this weekend.
This isn't like you.
What?
Going to parties.
It's not a party.
She said she's finished
everything, tom.
So what, you're in
on this with her?
I just don't want her
moping in her room anymore.
Really, I don't have to go. I
just wanted to hang out with him.
Look, if Julian and any
of his other friends
wanna come over here
and hang out,
they're more than welcome.
I can't even believe
that his parents
are letting him
throw another party.
Samantha, please, would you just
go get the candy out of my desk?
Trick or treat!
Okay.
But I want you home early.
Understood?
Of course!
Before midnight.
Yes.
Yes, sir. I promise.
Thank you, daddy.
- Hey.
- Hey.
You're going?
Yeah. They said yes.
Go. See you in the car
in five minutes.
Okay.
Thanks.
You've worked hard this week.
Go have fun.
I don't wanna go
in there without you.
You're never without me.
You scared me.
Come dance with me.
Yeah. Just a minute.
Hey.
Hi.
Hey.
Uh, sorry. It's all yours.
Oh, well...
Okay. Here.
I brought you a drink.
Oh.
Thanks.
I put something in it.
I'm just kidding.
It's so loud in here.
Why don't we just go outside
and we can have a smoke.
Um... no, that's okay.
Are you sure?
Yeah. Yeah.
I'm cool. Thanks, though.
Thanks for the drink.
Okay.
See you later.
Yeah.
I was thinking maybe I could
give your present another shot.
Sorry.
You know, one of these days
we're gonna get to spend more
than just five minutes together.
I know.
I know. Okay? I'm sorry.
Are you okay?
I'm fine.
I just really shouldn't have
come out tonight.
I'm happy
you're taking care of him.
And I really hope
he's taking care of you.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, I really have to go.
I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry it took so long.
What's wrong? Hey?
I totally took forever.
It's okay. It's okay.
It was stupid. I'm sorry.
It's all right.
Hey. Shh.
Breathe.
Breathe.
It's okay. I'm here.
I'm here.
I'm here.
Your makeup looks
really pretty like that.
Oh, my god!
Oh, Jesus.
No, no, no.
No, no, no. Hey.
Your eyes.
Thanks.
I'm kind of surprised
you stayed out so late
on a school night.
How are you feeling, Olivia?
I'm fine.
I'm sorry.
I'm just a little bit tired.
How are your, uh,
applications coming along?
They're good.
Um, I decided not to do
early decision to Yale,
so that I could apply to all of
the schools that you recommended.
Hmm...
Your, um, teachers tell me
that you're caught up
with all your
assignments and tests.
So, am I back to
being valedictorian?
I'm really impressed
with your dedication, Olivia.
Keep up the good work.
The steak's cold, Samantha.
I'm gonna go study.
I'm tired.
Come on, Liv.
What are we writing about?
Hey, hey. Do not let him
distract you, okay?
Look, every single
person in the country
our age is writing one of these.
It's exciting. How are you
gonna make yours different?
I don't know.
Liv, hey.
What? Put it down. Concentrate.
I am!
No, you're not!
You're sitting there
trying to think
of a funny way to text him back.
Now put the phone down!
Now tell me...
What are we gonna write about?
What are we gonna write about?
I don't know! Okay? What
are we gonna write about?
What are we gonna write about?
I don't know!
Okay.
All right.
Get up.
Matt.
Get up!
You always wait.
You wait for everyone to
leave before you change.
I'm on my period.
I need to talk to you.
Okay. About what?
You look sick.
I'm fine.
A lot of people are
worried about you.
Okay.
If you need to talk, then
I'd be happy... I don't.
Okay. Well,
I want to talk.
I lost him, too.
I'm not saying
it's the same thing,
but it would be nice to
be able to talk to you.
Okay. Well, I'm not really
here to make you feel nice!
I'm sorry.
What do you wanna talk about?
That night.
Did he say something to you?
Like what?
About me.
About what I said.
Please, I just need to know.
Please.
Um...
I don't really remember.
Okay. We were
fighting in the car
and then we crashed.
It was my fault.
He was mad at me.
What are you talking about?
We were talking and flirting,
and I thought it was finally
gonna be the start of something,
and I was just so happy.
Then he went away.
I mean, he was still there,
but he was...
He was somewhere else.
He said it was a mistake.
I mean, you don't
just look at someone
on their knees
and say that to them!
I just wanted to
say something mean.
I just wanted to say
something to hurt him.
What did you say?
I said,
"then go find your sister.
"She's the one you
really want to..."
Let me guess.
- Hi.
- Hi.
Um... I was just gonna
leave you a message.
What's up?
I've been calling you.
I know. I'm sorry. I've just
been a little bit sick.
Yeah, everyone is.
I just talked to Casey, and she
can barely get out of bed.
Is she okay?
Yeah.
She said staying home
today helped.
Are you okay?
What?
I said, are you okay?
Casey didn't stay home today.
I saw her in ballet.
I mean,
maybe she went home early,
but she wasn't in
cans this morning.
She told me she slept all day.
Liv?
Yeah.
Do you want me to come over?
No. You don't want to
come over here.
I mean, you can come here.
I can make you some soup.
Let me take care of you.
Where are you going?
Um, I thought you and dad
were going out to dinner.
He canceled.
Why?
I'm just gonna go
over to Julian's.
He wants my help with calc.
Did you eat?
I left you some pasta.
Mmm-hmm. I did.
It was really good.
Hey, mom. You okay?
I'm fine, baby.
You say hi to
Julian for me, yeah?
Hi.
Hi.
Yeah, I wanted it to be nice.
Thanks.
Yeah.
Houseboat?
Yep.
One would think that
I didn't have parents.
You, um...
Have you eaten yet?
It's not a great soup, but it's
really gonna suck if it's cold.
I'm just really not
that hungry these days.
Okay.
You know, I miss him a lot.
I think about him.
We weren't really
that close anymore,
but I've never
known anyone who's died.
Yeah, me neither.
I guess that's pretty lucky.
It doesn't feel that lucky.
Liv...
I really miss him.
I can't even begin to
imagine how much you do.
But look, I'm here for you.
Whatever you need, I will do it.
Sorry.
No, you're fine.
I think it's trying
to tell you something.
Yeah. I think
I am a little hungry.
Here.
Is it terrible?
No. No,
I mean, it's soup.
No, it's glorified spaghettios.
I'm so sorry that
I haven't been here more.
No, you're doing great.
I'm really not.
I've been, um, talking
to people differently.
It's like...
It's like there's
some part of me
that can't get close
enough to see them.
So, it makes it
really hard to care.
What about me?
I see you.
It's just that sometimes
there's something in-between.
What?
Is it me?
Sorry.
Oh, hey. Whoa.
What's wrong?
Nothing. I'm so sorry.
I'm fine. I'm sorry.
It's okay.
It's okay. It's fine.
Come here.
Oh, my god.
Sorry.
No, if you don't want to,
it's not a big deal.
No, it's not that.
It's okay.
You are so beautiful.
Do you want me to go, Liv,
so you can be alone?
No.
Yes. You are.
You need to know that because I see
you not taking care of yourself.
Don't let him distract you, Liv.
What do you mean?
Liv, I'm just...
I'm worried about you.
Oh, now he wants
to look after you.
I'm fine.
I miss him, too.
You will not use me
to get in my sister's pants.
Can we please
not talk about him?
He's gonna go to college.
He's gonna meet other girls.
Smarter, prettier girls who aren't
messed up in the head like you.
What happens next year?
He's gonna leave you, Liv.
What do you mean?
When you leave.
Liv...
I...
I like you.
All right. I've liked you for
as long as I can remember.
He's gonna hurt you, Liv.
He's gonna hurt you.
I know it.
I just don't want it to hurt.
No, I would never hurt you.
I'll never leave you
because I love you.
Liv, I love you.
I want you.
Uh... are you sure?
Yes.
Okay. Okay.
Uh...
Um... uh...
Wait. Wait one second, okay?
Okay.
Shit!
You shouldn't be here for this.
Where do you want me to go?
Please, not for this.
Just go away, just for a little while.
Liv. Liv, listen,
you can't just pick and choose when
you want me to be around, okay?
That's not how it works!
Please just go away.
Just for a little while.
No!
Matt!
Do you really need
his love that bad?
Weird.
Let's see how long you can
last without me this time.
Matt!
I'm so sorry.
I didn't mean...
Um... I think, uh,
maybe you should go.
Please, please.
Let me just...
Okay. No, you need help!
Julian.
I'm sorry. I don't know how
or what, but you need help.
Look, I know things have been
messed up this past year...
"Messed up"?
This is not my fault.
I can't just pretend that
you saying that is okay.
Okay, but everything else
before that was okay?
Yeah, I...
Liv. Liv!
Get help.
Fuck you!
All right, and I haven't given you a
lot of assignments during the break,
but please,
do a little bit of reading.
I'm really excited
for all of you.
I know you've all gotten
in your college applications.
Congrats on that.
Uh, but definitely
for the people
who are waiting
for early enrollment,
don't freak out.
Enjoy your vacations.
Enjoy your families.
Get some good rest.
You all have my email,
don't be afraid to use it.
I'll see you in January.
Pick up your papers before you go.
Hey, Casey.
- Case?
- Bye, everyone.
Bye, guys. Good job.
I'll see you after the break.
Olivia.
I'd like to speak to you.
Good job, guys.
Hey.
This isn't you.
Well, my name's on it.
You have never
gotten below an a-
on a pop quiz in my class, ever.
You make everything up. You come
back as yourself, and now this?
He thinks you don't
work hard enough.
What's going on?
What?
Are you on something?
No.
Some of the other teachers have
been expressing their concern.
About my grades?
No, about you.
What about me?
About you not being yourself.
You just said that,
so then who am I?
You want to know what I think? I
think that you're overworked.
I think you're
taking on too much.
Can we go? I'm starving.
I'll be fine.
Can I help you?
Geez, this again?
I'm fine, thank you.
I'm gonna have to
call your parents.
Because I got one bad grade?
No, because
I think you need help.
Help? With what exactly?
Studying? I'm not concerned
about your grades.
I'm really not.
So what is it about?
Okay. You keep on telling
me that I need help,
so I just need to understand what
exactly I need so much help to do?
I'm concerned about your health.
Shut up!
I'm not your enemy here, Liv.
He is.
You know what?
Fine.
Call them.
Why don't you tell them that,
with everything else that's
gonna suck this Christmas,
they need to worry about
the academic standing
of their remaining child.
'Cause I really think my family
needs one more thing to grieve for.
Liv.
You promised me, Liv.
You promised me.
What the hell are you doing?
Hey?
Sorry.
Are you okay?
We did it.
To take your call.
Please leave a message
and we'll get back to you.
Thank you.
Hi.
Uh, Craig Donovan calling again.
I'm not sure if you've seen
my other message, but...
I understand the holidays
are a busy time,
but I'd really like to speak
with you about Olivia.
You can reach me any time
on my personal cell,
619-178-1974. Thank you.
Message erased.
This is the '59.
It's pretty darn good.
Livvy! Come on
in here, sweetheart.
Say hello to Harvey and Kate.
Hi.
Merry Christmas, gorgeous.
Well, you certainly
made good on the buffet.
She's like me.
Beanpole till I was 30.
I can't eat like that anymore.
Tell them what
you did today, sweetheart.
Dad...
She applied to 20 schools.
All the ivies,
plus the sister schools,
and probably a whole bunch
more I have no idea about.
But Yale is the only one she
really cares about. Right, baby?
Skinny Minnie is
pulling her weight.
Well, don't forget
about dessert, sweetheart.
I brought four pies,
plus ice cream that,
lord knows, we don't
need to be eating.
I forgot about them.
I'll just go put them out.
Whole foods.
Hello.
Yeah, hello, Mr. Donovan.
Hey, it's time to celebrate.
Come here.
Come out.
You did it, Liv.
You proved them all wrong.
And now you're gonna
prove it to yourself.
Okay.
Sit.
Sit.
Hey, it's okay.
Matt, Matt, Matt...
Hey. Liv, Liv, I got you.
It's okay.
I've got you.
Okay?
It's okay.
I got you, it's okay.
You're okay, you're okay.
Okay?
Yeah.
Feels good, right?
Yeah.
I'm proud of you.
Told you we'd get out
of here. Didn't I?
Come on.
Matt, what are you doing?
It's okay.
Matt, no, please!
Hey. Please, don't
make me do this!
Hey, hey.
Hey, it's okay.
Relax.
This isn't going away, Liv.
It's not gonna end after
graduation, all right?
Do you think dad's
just suddenly gonna go
let you do whatever you want?
He's not. Okay?
You're going to his school,
you're taking over his firm,
just like he wanted me to do.
Hey.
They're never gonna love you.
Not like I do.
Not like I do.
Hey. Hey, look at me.
Hey. It's okay.
It's okay.
Liv?
That's it, I got you.
I got you.
Okay?
I got you.
I just wanted you to feel free.
- I love you.
- I love you.
Will it hurt?
Nothing's ever gonna hurt again.
You have to do this, Liv.
You promised me.
Tom!
She'll be okay, won't she?
You never cared about her.
You've never even cared
what she wants in life...
Mom!
What's it about?
It's about control.
Daddy!
Please!
What are you... no!
Hold her arm,
hold her arm! Steady.
Matt!
Matt!
Please, don't leave me.
Mealtime.
If you miss a meal, Olivia,
you have to drink
a replacement shake.
I can't move.
It's your meds.
I drooled through
my first three weeks here.
You just have to
force yourself to sit up.
Your body will normalize.
You don't even exist to me!
You don't even exist.
You are nothing.
You are shit!
Betsey, what do you have?
Nothing.
May I see it?
It's a book.
Betsey?
No, it's mine.
Betsey.
This is healthy. Okay?
I'm not reading about
calories or recipes.
I'm not looking at models.
It's a health magazine.
It's a trigger.
Everything is a goddamn trigger!
Do you remember the first time
you restricted food, Olivia?
- I what?
- Sweetheart,
we hardly ever
see you eat anymore.
I eat.
Fruit, and just
part of your dinner.
I eat at school.
You've got to put some meat
on those bones, little girl.
Yeah.
Daddy's orders, little girl.
Okay.
I understand that I do
need to put on weight.
Um, so how much weight do I have
to put on before I can go home?
Have you been feeling particularly
stressed or anxious this past year?
Mealtime, Olivia.
Don't. I need that.
I'm not that hungry right now.
Are you sure?
Yeah.
Oh, can I just
eat it in my room?
I'll get you a shake.
I'm sorry.
Matt...
I'm sorry.
Shut up.
I don't wanna be
here either, you know,
but at least
we're in here together.
Here...
Come on, have this.
I'm not hungry.
I told you to shut up, Liv!
I do not wanna hear your voice!
Do you understand?
We could have been
out of here, okay?
This is your fault!
You're the reason I'm here!
We had a chance to be free,
and you couldn't take it.
You were too scared.
Now we're here.
Are you finished, Olivia?
Get out!
Refusing to take meals
and refusing shakes
forces us to administer
enteral feedings.
I'll drink it!
You were given
that option, Olivia.
What?
I said I'll drink it!
You did this to yourself.
You did this to yourself.
This is your session, Olivia.
We don't have to talk
if you don't want to.
This place is insane.
This place is insane.
Why?
I told her I would eat.
And then you didn't.
Well, the meds that you're having
me take make me feel sick.
Then, perhaps you should
get food enterally
until you don't
feel sick anymore.
You haven't eaten
normally in months.
You might not
feel hungry anymore.
Well, I get hungry.
I just...
What?
What happens
when you get hungry?
I was very busy this year.
I had a lot of work to do,
so I just forgot.
You forgot to eat?
Mmm.
You and your brother did a lot of the
same things together, didn't you?
You shared the same
friends, similar schedules.
Yeah.
Shared a car?
Yeah.
Yeah.
After he passed,
it must have been difficult
to engage in those things alone.
Are you asking me if after the
accident things were difficult?
I'm asking how did you do everything
you did before with Matt, alone?
I just did it.
He even smells like bullshit.
Is there something funny?
No. Nothing's
funny anymore.
Do you remember
when you became so busy
that you started
to forget to eat?
I didn't always forget.
When you started to restrict.
I didn't restrict!
But you hid food, didn't you?
Food that you told your
family you were eating?
You hid it behind a tree.
A tree that was very important
to you and your brother.
He thinks he knows
our story, Liv.
Were you hiding the food so
that you didn't have to eat it?
No.
Don't even bother.
Then why hide the food?
I hid the food...
Get us out of here!
Was there a reason
you started hiding it?
A voice that
told you not to eat?
What's he talking...
What?
Is there a voice that tells
you or tells you not to eat?
No.
Is there a voice that tells
you to do other things?
When to work,
to sleep, to speak?
Is he kidding?
Doesn't everyone have a voice
that tells them what to do?
Right.
Your conscience?
Does your conscience
tell you not to eat?
No.
Who does?
Why are you asking me this?
Because, often, people
with an eating disorder
describe a voice in their
head that sounds different.
I don't have
a problem with food.
This isn't about food, really.
Do you find you feel
out of control? Overwhelmed?
Yeah, I feel stressed
a lot and I feel scared.
Because of school.
No, because of everything.
Well, when you feel stressed or
scared, what helps you the most?
Liv, I wanna go, Liv.
I wanna go right now.
- I wanna go home.
- Now.
When can I go home?
When you eat, Olivia.
Okay. Then I will.
I promise you, I will.
I just need to do it
alone in my room, please.
You have a history
of sabotaging food,
of either ruining it
or hiding it.
The way you spilled
the replacement shake.
We have to make sure
that you're eating, Olivia.
You're not hungry.
I'm not that hungry.
If you don't,
your body will give out.
He's lying!
But more specifically,
your heart will give out,
and then you will die.
He's lying, Liv.
Slowly,
but horribly and certainly.
Let's go. Now!
I wanna go back to my room.
You can go if you like.
You and your brother loved each
other very much, didn't you?
What do you think he would say
to you if he saw you in here?
What's wrong, Liv?
Nothing. I love you.
Matt, am I gonna die?
Quiet.
I wanna be that happy.
I just wanted you to feel free.
Sorry.
You can't die
because we're gonna
die at the same time.
No, we won't.
Quiet.
Please, don't tell.
I promise.
Promise me, too.
I promise.
Dr. Rothstein?
I know it's early, but I
really do need to talk to you.
Olivia, what's wrong?
I'm just scared.
Hey.
Tell him what he wants to hear.
What is it?
Come on in. Have a seat.
I can't.
Yes, you can.
Yes, you can. Just lie.
Tell him you'll get better.
You'll put on weight. Anything.
Just sit down,
and get us out of here.
- I don't wanna do this.
- Yes, you do.
- Whatever you wanna say.
- Take your time.
When I was born,
my brother was with me.
He was always with me.
What are you doing?
My whole life, I've never
known anything else.
And when things
got really bad this year,
I didn't know how...
I just couldn't.
When he passed.
Liv, what are you doing?
When he passed.
When he...
Liv, I'm right here.
Liv, I'm right here! Okay?
I couldn't...
You promised me, Liv!
You promised me!
I couldn't...
I couldn't...
Breathe, Olivia.
What? You want me to go?
Do you want me to go?
No, no, no!
Please, please!
Deep breaths.
Deep breaths, Olivia.
Come on.
When he...
When he what?
When he came...
You are nothing without me.
You wanna see how long you can
last without me this time, huh?
Olivia, you can do this.
You're strong.
You are weak without me!
When Matt died...
You promised me, Liv!
What are you doing?
When Matt died...
What are you doing?
What are you doing right now?
We promised that we would
die together, and I didn't.
That's not your fault.
That's your fault.
And I begged for him
to come back to me.
I did.
And I thought that he did.
And I did.
I thought that he
came back for me.
Liv, I did come back for you.
I'm right here.
Look at me!
How can you do this to me?
I've been right here
by your side the whole time.
I hate you.
I hate you.
I don't love you anymore.
I never did love you.
I made up the whole thing.
You're nothing without me.
So come with me.
I'm taking you with me.
No, you're not!
You're not!
Because you're not my brother.
You're not my brother.
You're okay.
It's okay.
When you come
into the world with someone,
everything you've ever seen,
everything you've
ever touched or smelled
is with them by your side.
And a world without them
doesn't even seem possible.
When he left this world,
I made up a new one.
One where I could see him.
First, in dreams,
and then when I was awake.
The more time that
I spent in our world,
the more I could feel myself
slipping away from this one.
Do you think that's what
he would have wanted?
No, Matt wouldn't
have wanted me to die.
He would have
wanted me to live, a lot.
He would have wanted me
to have fun and to grow up,
see new things, fall in love.
But that voice wasn't Matt.
I know that.
You have lunch out today.
Yeah.
Take deep breaths.
And just remember, health is a
choice, and you can make it.
Can I help you?
Uh, yeah.
I'm just looking for him.
Great.
Hi.
Hi.
I missed him.
Yeah, he missed you.
Hey. So, um...
I'm sorry that I didn't visit.
You know, it just
kind of seemed like...
No, I didn't want you to.
I didn't want you
to see me like that.
Hey, what can I get you? Hi.
Um...
You go first.
Okay.
I'm gonna do the deluxe
burger with cheddar.
And for you?
Mmm...
Just, I think a salad
with some mixed Greens.
Anything on top?
Chicken, quinoa?
No. Thanks.
Thanks. Hey, actually, could
we get onion rings to start?
Sure.
Thank you.
Sorry.
They just make me eat so much I
just really wanna have a salad
and to not have to drink
the dressing in the end.
They make you drink dressing?
Well, everything is portioned
out for weight gain.
So if you have
anything left over,
then you kind of have to...
I'm sorry, we don't really
have to talk about this.
Okay.
Seriously, if I was still bad, I would
have ordered everything that you did
and then I would have
shoved it under my dress
and probably when you went
to the bathroom,
I might have, like, found a tree
outside to go plant it under.
It's okay.
You can laugh.
So do you...
I don't know, do you still...
Not really.
Um, I just feel him.
Like, right before I go to bed or right
when I'm about to turn a corner.
But I think
that's probably just...
Phantom twin syndrome.
Well, you know what,
I think it's good
that you don't.
I mean, not that it's good
that you don't, but...
I don't know, I think it's...
I think it's good
that you're here.
Yeah.
I am here.
Hey, I, um...
I brought my guitar,
if you wanna sit
in the park, after.
That sounds nice.
I might even play you my song.
Whoa! It's been a
long time coming.
I don't think I could handle it.
It would be too much!
Onion rings to start.
Thank you.
And a mixed Greens salad.
Your burger will be
out in a second.
Can I get you anything else?
Uh, no, I think we're good.
Hey?
Hey.
If this is too much, we can go.
No.
I'm fine.