Fierce Killer Marsupial (2024) Movie Script
(CRICKETS CHIRPING)
(FRANTIC RUSTLING)
(MALE VOICE)
Okay.
(MALE VOICE)
Oh my god.
(FRANTIC RUSTLING)
(MALE VOICE)
Oh my god.
(OWL HOOTING)
(DISTANT ANIMAL ROARING)
What's up guys?
Umm.
Wubbsy here.
Update time.
So, umm.
The others are still missing.
Right now, I'm in a tent
at the campsite.
I think there's something out there.
Just listen for a second.
(DISTANT ANIMAL ROARING)
Did you hear that?
Did you hear that?
That was loud.
Okay, umm.
So
so, uh
it, it's
just past one a.m.
and that's been going on for about 15 minutes now
and it's just been getting louder
and louder and louder
and it's really freaking me out.
(DISTANT ANIMAL ROARING)
Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god.
You hearing that?
You hearing that?
Wait, wait
I'll see if I can get a better sound.
Hang on, I'll open the tent.
See if you can hear that.
(DISTANT ANIMAL ROARING)
Did you hear that? There it is.
There it is again.
What the hell is that?
Okay, umm.
Umm. So
what if it picks up our scent?
What if it shows up? This could be very bad guys.
Umm .
This is what happens when you leave the house.
Nature. Not even once.
(DISTANT ANIMAL ROARING)
I don't know why people come out here.
I've always thought it was a bit overrated, honestly.
I mean, sure
you got plants and animals and all that but
you got plants and animals at home, don't you?
Plus, they're not trying to kill you. Usually.
So.
Okay, okay, okay.
Okay.
Umm.
New plan.
Let's see if anyone else is awake.
Oi. Jay?
You awake?
Jay?
Jenna?
Looks like they never went to sleep.
So, basically?
I'm the only one here.
So that's not good.
Okay, alright guys.
Hey, time to make a call.
You can't always get a signal out here.
MALE VOICE: Woo! What is up? It's JaydubZero.
- Wait. Hey? Jay?
No, no, no!
(ANIMAL PANTING)
Oh my god!
Come on, come on!
(ANIMAL SNORTING)
(TENT UNZIPPING)
Ah! Oh my god. Oh my god.
It's opening it!
(ANIMAL ROARING)
(TENT UNZIPPING)
It's gone.
It's gone. It's gone.
It's gone.
Oh fuck!
Oh, that was intense.
Oh, I don't know how that happened
I don't know what just happened
but I'll take it.
Oh my god.
Oh fuck!
(VOICEMAIL)
Woo! What is up? It's Jay-
Hey!
Hey!
Hey, where are you?
Listen, get back to me as soon as you can, alright?
Look, something's just happened, alright?
Something turned up at the campsite. alright?
Hey. I think it was the beast, too.
I didn't get a good look at it
but I saw a shadow
it came up to the tent
I just
oh my god.
I think it saw me and just bottled out of there.
So yeah, yeah I uh
I think I scared it away.
(ANIMAL GROWLING)
(ANIMAL ATTACKING)
(WHITE NOISE)
(EERIE MUSIC BEGINS)
This thing has killed 40 people, isn't that the coolest
fucking thing?
Uh huh.
I mean, how many El Chupacabra deaths are there? None.
How many Jersey Devil deaths are there? None.
This thing has a kill count higher than any other cryptid
and that is my jam.
Sounds scary, babe.
That's the thing, babe. This isn't your typical cryptid
hunt.
This is actually dangerous.
There's no smoke and mirrors
there's no playing scared.
What we have here is genuine horror
and I'm all for it.
The lady in white. That was scary.
No, that's what I'm talking about, babe.
Normally these trips have a certain way of doing things
there's a structure to the essence.
We show up, they give us a tragic backstory
they show us some creepy paintings and portraits
and scary dolls and we're supposed to get all weepy and make
a show out of it?
Not here.
This place is different. This place is real.
Sounds fun.
This isn't about fun, Charlie. This is about danger.
This is the Australian wilderness, danger personified.
They have snakes, they have spiders
everything out here is trying to kill you
and I'm loving it.
They have koalas. Koalas are fun.
Fuck koalas.
You know what the problem with koalas is?
They're slow, they're lazy and they're stupid.
They're going extinct because they've forgotten how to breed
think about that for a second.
This is a species too dumb to live.
I don't know, babe. I think they're kinda cute.
Well they're not. Fuck them.
Want it? Last one.
No, why would I want that?
Because it's delicious and good.
I don't eat that stuff.
Do you want to know why? Corporations.
This is a cultural icon, babe.
That's exactly what I'm talking about.
It's because some big suits sat down in their big, expensive
office
and decided to have a big meeting and market their product
that way.
And here we are. It disgusts me on multi-patriotic levels.
Your loss.
Are we done?
I think we are.
Okay, let's get out of here.
Picture this
it's 1927
right here, on this very mountain.
A man is leading an expedition
an eight man team, up that mountain.
A storm is pummelling the mountainside.
The leader is undaunted though, the leader
is E.F. fucking Sanderson.
Retired army sergeant
a man of God
and a man obsessed with one thing
the Beast of Berribrook.
And I quote.
And I quote.
Oh the Beast, oh the Beast
oh how it haunts me.
My beloved, nay, the almighty Himself
cannot compete with my obsession for the acursed creature.
Sounds like he's fun at parties.
He's leading this expedition up.
The rain is still pummelling the mountainside
lightning strikes the area
and there it is.
A flash illuminates the area
and suddenly they see it
a furry hominid.
The horses bolt, the men flee in terror
all but one man
not E.F. fucking Sanderson.
He
stoops down
to the mud
he picks up
the camera
and he goes to take the photo himself.
The creature is about to flee
as he presses the shutter
he realises his hand is frozen solid.
At that moment he only has one choice
he does what any man would do
he reaches into his pants and heroically
jerks himself off.
-Charlie! What the fuck? Stop!
What the fuck?
His newly warm hand
encrusts the camera shutter.
-Yuk.
Encrusts the camera shutter
and takes the most famous photo
in Berribrook history.
That's a shit photo, Charlie.
Well, yeah, it's not the greatest photo.
It's the worst photo I've ever fucking seen.
It doesn't even look like anything.
Stace, come on
I'm trying to give you a sense of how unlikely it is
that we even have this photo.
This man is a hero to all cryptozoologists.
A man who did what he need to do
to get the truth out there.
And that's what we're going to do today, Stace.
This here is Yowie country
and today we're going to prove it.
Or we could turn around and go home.
-What?
Got a message from Carol at park relations.
Good morning, I hope you are well, smiley face emoji.
Because I have some bad news and some people could be dead.
Oh, not really
sure she nailed that segue.
A group of vloggers went missing on the mountain yesterday
crying face emoji
a search and rescue is underway, eyes emoji.
The park's closed to the public, the vlog's going to have to
be postponed.
I'm sorry about this, and happy holidays
Santa face emoji.
Not really sure she nailed that segue either.
So, yeah
looks like we're going to have to cut this one short, Yowie
boy.
No, this is a test.
An obstacle, placed in our path to test our cryptid faith.
We don't have time for this.
Let's just turn around and go home. Come on.
-No!
Not like this.
Not in the shadow of E.F. fucking Sanderson.
But what if they find us?
Babe
we're internet personalities.
If anyone complains, we'll sick our fans on them and play
the victim
and if that doesn't work, we'll just throw out an apology
video.
Why do I hate how true that is?
I don't know.
Get this, okay?
It's 2013
and the park experiences its worst
P.R. disaster ever
when two Hong Kong girls mysteriously disappear.
The subject makes international headlines
and the park gets shut down.
Eighteen months later, the park reopens
but tourists still stay away.
So what do they do?
-What do they do?
Well, they start
a marketing campaign to try and
rehash, rebrand the parks image as a
family-friendly tourist destination
and they bring on a series of influencers to try and attract
a family friendly audience, influencers like
JaydubZero.
-Who's JaydubZero?
He is a controversial internet personality.
What does that mean?
-Basically means he's a complete arsehole.
Get this. He starts a youtube channel that's all about
pranks
and breaks into some old guy's house.
Then he gets banned, he releases this lame apology video
and suddenly everyone's back on his side. Wait, wait, wait.
Anyway, then he releases his own cryptocoin.
Suddenly, he's going on about the wonders of
decentralisation
and the values of libertarianism.
Here, look.
JAY: Today I'm excited to be finally announcing, my very own
cryptocurrency.
(EXCITED YOUTUBER SOUND EFFECTS)
JAY: Woo! Based on highly advanced blockchain technology
JaydubCoin is completely safe and secure.
-Makes you sick, doesn't it?
JAY: Don't take this the wrong way but
does anyone else feel the moon is a bit overrated?
I don't know
I think he's kinda funny.
-Funny?
The only thing funny is the scams
that he's been schilling, anyway
his coin crashes, along with all the other coins that he's
been schilling
his popularity declines
he pivots to youtube back again
and starts a stunts and challenges channel.
Anyway, that's going great until a friend nearly dies
doing a construction site challenge.
Other youtubers start calling him out for being
I don't know, reckless irresponsible
and he loses his mind and just starts
challenging them all to a public duel.
Wait.
Damn it.
Earlier this week
a bunch of influencers, so let's see it was
Charlotte Nichols
Wubbsy, Jenrexor, who's also his girlfriend.
Wait! Jenrexor's his girlfriend?
-Uh, yeah.
They all show up at this park to try and
whitewash their image and help rehabilitate the park
bring the tourists back.
-And go missing?
And go missing.
And not a single fuck to give?
-None at all.
Listen, if this means one less annoying internet personality
in the world
then call me the newest member of the Beast fanclub.
Thank you based cryptid for doing god's work.
That's kinda fucked up, you know?
No, listen, look, the guy is slash was a complete dickhead.
Nothing of value was lost.
-Okay, okay.
Charlie, just because you weren't a fan of the guy
doesn't mean that he deserves to die.
What happened to, you know
live and let live?
Shh.
What?
Yeah, there we go.
What is it?
Koalas, come on.
You have problems.
Am I the only one getting Mongolian death worm vibes from
this place?
Just feels kinda wormy.
Alright, in five, four, three.
What's up everyone, I'm Stacey.
And I'm Charlie.
-And we are
Terra Australis.
Today we are out here in glorious Berribrook National Park
New South Wales.
Now we're here because a couple of weeks ago
some park officials reached out to us
and asked us if we could help them investigate a scary
mystery.
That's right Stacey, you see
since 1860, over 40 individuals have vanished in this park
never to be seen again.
Now the locals around here
they like to blame these disappearances on what they call
the Beast of Berribrook
and with 49 unofficial victims, it makes this Beast the
deadliest cryptid
in the world of cryptozoology.
But its true identity remains a mystery.
So today, me and Charlie are gonna head out there
see if we can finally find this thing
before it finds us.
- Alright guys, check it out.
We've got three trailcams set up
here, here and here.
And over here
we have our listening device.
We scan the area
and then, if we find something
we move in with this.
Our thermal imaging device.
And finally
this, our Sasquatch mating call whistle.
One blow of this will attract the creature right to us.
-(MATING CALL)
-Or you could just use a dating app, like a normal person.
Anyway, once the creature reveals itself to us
we record its existence and we high-tail it out of there.
Alright, but before we do that guys
please make sure that you check out our Instagram
and our Twitter.
And please, please, please, like comment and subscribe.
I know you want to, so go ahead and smash that like button
below.
Alright, Charlie's ready to go and I'm ready to go
let's go Beast hunting.
I think I got something.
Sounds like a drone.
Well, the Beast has picked up a new hobby.
Maybe it's the search and rescue party nearby.
Should we move?
I think it's heading away from us.
It's gone now.
I think I got something, wanna hear it?
Yep.
-I'll play it on the device.
(DISTANT ANIMAL ROARING)
Did you hear that?
-Play it again.
(DISTANT ANIMAL ROARING)
Can you make it louder?
-Yeah, hang on.
(DISTANT ANIMAL ROARING)
Something wants to mate.
Okay, okay wait, this is it.
Okay, so remember no sudden movements and no loud noises
and keep the talking to a minimum.
(MATING CALL)
Oh.
I think I got something.
(RECORDING OF DISTANT BANG)
What was that?
I don't know, it sounded mechanical if that makes sense.
(RECORDING OF DISTANT BANG)
Sounds almost like fireworks.
Maybe it's celebrating something.
What would it be celebrating?
An end to a hundred years of lonely nights.
Maybe it's gunfire?
Oh yeah, like I always say
the only thing scarier than a cryptid is a cryptid with a
gun.
It would finally explain the body count.
(MATING CALL)
No, I'm not hearing anything.
Should we move on?
Yeah, maybe we should head back to where we were.
Maybe its made its way there.
-Yeah, alright.
(RECORDING OF DISTANT ANIMAL ROARING)
You hear that?
Sounds like a hominid to me.
I'm getting some serious Yowie vibes.
I think E.F. Sanderson was right.
This here really is Yowie country.
Are Yowies dangerous to humans, though?
Oh yeah.
There was a story about this guy
who was driving through the Pilliga at night
when he gets lost
so he pulls over to the side of the road and he's checking
maps or something
when all of a sudden
the creature appears by the side of the road.
Says it was over two metres tall, big and furry
and he locks himself in his car thinking his safe
and the Yowie then comes over
rips the car door right off its hinges
and pulls the guy out into the night, screaming
just vroom. Argghh!
Anyway, the guy never went into detail about what happened
next
but, eventually
the monster dumped him back by the side of the road
and
he spent the rest of his days in a mental asylum
just tormented by the incident.
Yowies.
Don't want to mess with those guys.
What the fuck?
Who would take my cryptid book?
I had that book since I was ten, that was like my gateway
book.
Fuck!
Because a Yowie came through here, Stace. Admit it.
This place really is Yowie country.
No it was some idiot bushwalker who thought it would be
funny
to come up here and nick our stuff.
-Yowies are inquisitive creatures, Stace.
They'll take anything that isn't nailed down.
Must've come through here when it heard the mating call.
What happened to, you know, the wilderness peace treaty?
You don't take sides against nature out here
you don't hog the trail
you don't hesitate to give water to a stranger in need
and you definitely don't steal their fucking stuff.
I think you're gonna want to see this.
See that?
No fucking way.
Something did come through here.
Nine by ten.
Holy shit!
So something really is out here.
Okay, umm, okay
we need to make sure we get all this, right?
Yeah.
-Photos. And casts too.
STACEY: Wait there's.
CHARLIE: What is it?
It's a quadruped.
See?
This is the right front.
So it's not a hominid?
So it's not a Yowie.
- It's not THE Yowie.
So what is it?
I don't know. What do you think?
Thylacine?
Kinda looks familiar.
Like what?
I think I know what it is.
- What is it?
It's a big cat!
No, can't be.
Queensland tiger?
No, but not this far down south.
They're all up north.
Maybe they used the mountains, made their way down here?
But why?
- Big park
lots of places to hide
steady diet of wallabies and kangaroos
and
tourists.
The Beast is a big cat?
But
that doesn't mean that a Yowie couldn't be out here too?
No, listen-
- No, no, no, look, I'm just saying
the odds of a Yowie also being out here go up
with the big cat.
- No, hominids they're
they're placid creatures. They don't attack unless provoked.
I mean, even in that story that you told, the
Yowie sounded more curious than anything.
I mean listen, it doesn't make sense
why would a Yowie have a kill count over 40?
Nothing about this screams hominid.
Maybe the Yowie is injured and it can't hunt?
-No, listen-
No, no, no, look, look
you know, right circumstances and all that
there were these lions in Kenya that turned maneaters-
- What is this thing with you and this Yowie thing?
Okay.
I will tell you, but first you have to swear to me
that you won't ridicule me mercilessly
into total humiliation.
Alright.
One day my parents took me to my cousin's house.
We were both bored out of our minds
so we decide to
take a trip into the nearby woods.
My cousin says that there's this old, creepy well
that he wants to show me.
I don't say no.
We make our way through the woods
and we find the well. It is in fact, old and creepy.
Then we notice these weird plants growing
around the well.
So my cousin dared me to eat some, and I dared him.
So, we did.
And at first we felt nothing
also we didn't die
which was good.
Anyway, we start wandering
back through the woods.
Then we start feeling this weird
queasiness?
Anyway, then we start giggling, then we start laughing
and that's when we see it, this wombat.
So he grabs it and tries to hold it, and the wombat slips
away.
And then he tries to hold it again, slips away
tries to hold it again, slips away, and I
start feeling like I'm experiencing severe time dilation
as he just
keeps on grabbing it and holding it over and over and over
again.
Eventually the wombat
breaks free, smacks my cousin with its arse
and waddles off.
It's when the next animal appears that I realise I am
fucking peaking.
A kangaroo
and
I
start to become elated
I start screaming
I feel like I could watch this fight go on for 2000 years.
Anyway, eventually my cousin defeats the kangaroo
and emerges victorious.
And he's looking around for the next challenger.
That's when
it
appears.
His arms are massive.
His legs are massive.
He
is massive.
And he says that
we have distrupted the fragile peace treaty of the woods
and must be punished
and then he roars
and we leg it
back to
my cousin's house.
I go and find my parents and they take me home.
On the way, we stop for kebabs.
That is, the single fucking, craziest thing I've ever heard.
I need to know what happened that day.
This thing has been
eating me alive for years.
I get it now. This thing is like your white whale.
You need to prove that Yowies exist so you can finally know
what happened.
Does your cousin remember anything?
So it's just you.
Oh god. You think I'm insane, don't you?
You're regreting everything, why did I I tell you-
-No, no, no!
No, I don't think you're insane. I believe you.
I want to help you try solve this thing.
You mean that?
-Yeah.
There's a park nearby that said they had a couple of weird
sightings
maybe we can go there next?
We'll find that Yowie.
I promise.
STACEY: I love you.
I love you.
(ANIMAL SNORTING)
(ANIMAL GROWLING)
Fucking koalas.
(DISTANT ANIMAL ROARING)
What?
It's missing.
(TRAILCAM WHITE NOISE)
(ANIMAL ROARING)
What the fuck?
(DEVICE BEEPS SLOWLY)
(MATING CALL)
(MATING CALL)
Oh my god.
Alright.
Let's see what we got.
(DEVICE BEEPS SLOWLY)
(DEVICE BEEPS QUICKLY)
Holy shit!
What the hell?
Hey, wait!
Stop!
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Hey, hey, hey. Whoa.
You're JaydubZero.
We need to get out of here.
- Listen, it's okay
hey, my name's Charlie, I'm a vlogger.
-No, no, no! You don't get it, do you?
They're dead.
-Who's dead?
They're all dead!
-Who's dead? Who's dead?
Jay!
CHARLOTTE: Where am I? Where is it?
Oh that's annoying.
Can't find it.
(sing-song)
Wait, where is it? Where is it?
Where is it? I know it's around here somewhere.
Whoa!
Hello?
Who is that?
Somebody there?
Is there anyone there?
BEAST COSTUME GUY: Rwar!
CHARLOTTE: Ahh!
Stop! Hey!
Hey, hey, hey! Listen!
Jay, just relax, yeah?
Tell me what happened?
-Going to be here soon.
What's going to be here soon?
-Killed the others.
It took them during the night, one by one. They're all dead.
Alright, hey. No, no, no, look at me.
CHARLOTTE: What was that?
Hello?
(sing-song)
Hello there? Hello there?
Very funny. Really.
(sing-song)
Ha, ha, ha, ha.
(sing-song)
Aha, ha, ha, ha.
Alright. Now tell me what happened, tell me everything.
Alright, alright.
Me and the crew, two days ago
camping challenge, overnight.
- Then what happened?
Beast hunt challenge.
Here, on the mountain, yesterday.
Playing the game, Jenna
she broke her leg
so we ended early.
Then what happened?
Wubbsy
he showed up
he told us Charlotte was missing.
CHARLOTTE: I know you're there.
I know you're there.
I said, I know you're there.
(ANIMAL ATTACKING)
(ANIMAL SCAMPERING AWAY)
So Charlotte went missing.
Then what happened?
Producers
they pitched some tents so we had some drinks and waited for
her.
And then?
Producers, they went to look for her.
They never came back.
And then?
Night fell.
And then?
Then?
That's when the Beast arrived.
(ANIMAL SNORTING)
Okay, so night fell
what happened then?
We went to look for them
Jenna and me.
Wubbsy was asleep in the tent.
Jenna as in your girlfriend?
And then?
It was dark.
I lost sight of her.
I heard her screaming in the woods.
And then, I saw her.
She could barely walk.
And then?
And then she was dead.
(ANIMAL GRUNTING)
(STICK SNAPPING)
(STICK SNAPPING)
(STICK SNAPPING)
Hey!
Go!
Argh!
(ANIMAL SCAMPERING AWAY)
As it dragged her away, I just ran for it, you know?
It was dark, I couldn't find the campsite.
So I spent the night out here.
And then?
Daybreak.
I headed out. I found the campsite.
When I opened Wubbsy's tent
there was so much blood.
Charlie?
I don't want to keep pushing, I just need to know one more
thing
for my own, you know, state of mind.
Last night, when it attacked Jenna
did you see what it was?
Was it short? Tall?
I mean, it was just too dark, you know?
But you saw it attack her?
But you didn't see what it was?
Are you sure? Was it two-legged? Four-legged?
It was just too dark.
Listen, I know this has been really tough for you
and I don't want to-
-Wait.
I may have seen something.
The claw.
No, forget it.
-But what did you see?
It was just too dark, just forget it.
Sort of looks like.
I'll tell you, yeah, but you have to promise me you're gonna
believe me.
No matter how crazy or insane this sounds you have to
promise me you're gonna believe me.
(ANIMAL GROWLING)
With the shadows and the light
it kinda looked like a
Yes?
(ANIMAL SNORTING)
Looked like a-
-Yes?
(ANIMAL GROWLING)
Like a-
-Yes?
(ANIMAL GROWLING)
Like a koala.
(SCREAMING)
(ANIMAL ATTACKING)
(ANIMAL SCAMPERING AWAY)
What the fuck?
Stace?
A koala?
Are you absolutely positive you saw a koala?
Hey, I'm telling you what I saw.
It was grey, it was furry, it had fangs, and it dropped down
on top of her.
It dropped
it dropped down on her?
Well, yeah. From the tree.
What is it?
Stace?
JAY: It's okay, man.
I know what it's like.
You alright?
I just
I don't know
I just can't believe she's gone.
Listen
I was thinking
maybe if we knew where this killer koala came from
maybe it's some kind of evolution gone wrong?
Maybe it's some sort of prehistoric ancestor or something?
It's not that.
Then what is it?
Let me paint you a picture, okay?
You're a
naive, bright-eyed, bushy-tailed tourist making your way
through
the Australian wilderness.
You have a love of nature.
An affinity for the wild you've developed
as a substitute for your own lack of personality.
You bask in the natural wonder.
You're overwhelmed.
Maybe even a little aroused.
But what you don't realise is
you're being hunted
by something grey
something big
and something very, very angry.
A koala?
To the untrained eye, perhaps, but no.
No, no, no. This thing?
This thing is a drop bear.
What's a drop bear?
A perfect killing machine.
It's not the fastest or the most agile
but it doesn't need to be.
It stalks you from a distance, waiting for you to tire.
And when you do?
You hear it first.
A growl.
At first you can't pinpoint where it came from
but then you hear it again.
The drop bear attacks, not from the side
but from above.
You look up
just in time to see 200 pounds of terrifying mass drop down
onto your upper body.
Dagger-like claws, grabbing onto your head
scientifically
penetrating the softer areas of your cranium.
As it pulls you to the ground
mercifully your neck
snaps.
Okay.
What do we do?
There's got to be something we can do.
We're isolated, unarmed
and facing the most deadly cryptid on the face of the earth.
No, no, no, that's it. We lose Jay, we're done.
No, no.
There's got to be something we can do.
What about the stories?
What stories?
There's stories.
Stories of people being stalked by this thing
sometimes for hours, sometimes for days.
There was this one story about these two girls
They survived seven days out here. Seven days!
For a creature that's meant to be a perfect killing machine
that's a pretty freaking long time.
So maybe there is a way.
Yeah, come on.
So I packed my stuff, a tent and a few things.
Then I realised something.
I'm stuck out here.
No map
no signal
everything starts to look the same.
Then I realised something else
the beast hunt challenge.
The beast hunt challenge?
Yeah. Yesterday my producers set up these clues across the
mountain for this game.
The players gonna go from one station to the next answering
questions.
If they pick the correct answer that leads them to the next
clue
but if they pick the wrong answer then they waste time going
the wrong way.
Eventually, if they get all the answers right, that takes
them to the finish.
So if you play the game and get all the answers right
that takes you out of here?
- Well yeah. Simple as, isn't it?
So what happened?
- I dropped my stuff when the Beast showed.
I was looking for it when I ran into you.
Should be around here somewhere.
What do you do? Like, what kind of vlogging?
Paranormal investigations.
That's cool, that's cool.
Yours?
You ever catch any spooky ghosts?
No.
What was your last investigation?
Banshee forest of unspeakable evil.
Scary?
Not really.
- (LAUGH)
Nice merch.
That's what it's about, isn't it?
So
this thing, it's some sort of bear, yeah?
Mostly.
Where do you think it came from?
Maybe it's the last of its kind.
So there used to be more?
Maybe there still is.
How do you know so much about this thing?
You just kinda pick it up.
Here we go.
In what year was Berribrook National Park opened?
Path A, 1955, path B, 1975?
Well it's '75.
-Yeah, I know. Let's go.
So, you're doing challenges now?
Yeah, well
earlier this year I was looking at that front page.
it's all stunts, challenges and games now.
So you decided to jump on the bandwagon?
Well, yeah. You gotta be ready to reinvent yourself.
Seems a little dangerous when people keep getting hurt.
You heard about that, yeah?
Yeah. Didn't she almost die?
What? No, listen.
Don't you think it might have been a little risky
to come out here given the history you have?
That never happened, bruv.
- Oh, so you think this was a good idea, yeah?
No, I don't but I get it. I get it.
Get what?
-Okay, you need someone to blame for what happened.
You're going to go all captain hindsight
and act like I should have known there was a killer koala
was out here.
I get that.
My brother was a fan of yours.
He and his friends were listening to you last year
during the run up to that crypto bubble
yeah? When you were peddling that shit.
He put everything he had on that coin.
He lost everything.
He was devastated.
I had to sit him down and give him the big talk and explain
to him
that not everyone he admires is to be trusted
that some people just don't care about him at all.
- Okay, yeah.
I'm sorry, alright? I'm sorry.
But that's not on me.
That's on your little bro, see the thing with these coins is
the underlying is solid.
- No, no, no. This is totally on you.
Everything that happened is your fucking fault.
- If your little bro had just held during the dip
three years from now, three, four years
- Jay.
You'll get two, three times per coin.
- Just shut the fuck up and listen to me, alright?
You have a young, impressionable audience, right?
Maybe you should start to recognise the responsibilities
that go along with that, yeah?
The universe was out here giving you hints for years, Jay
but you just didn't want to fucking listen.
And now, you decide to host a challenge
in a place where forty fucking people have gone missing?
Now five of your friends are dead
including your girlfriend, that's on you.
You know what? Fuck you.
You were right, Stace.
He didn't deserve that.
Fuck.
Bags here.
I said, bags here.
Probably wouldn't show up, either.
(ANIMAL GROWLING)
Oh shit! Oh.
Shit.
No, no, no!
JAY: Stay in view, don't show weakness.
Alright, we good, we good.
Whoa.
Oh, fuck.
JAY: You okay?
Uh, yeah.
JAY: You're welcome.
Found this.
(MALE GRUNTING)
(HEAVY BREATHING)
(MALE VOICE, OVER WALKIE TALKIE)
MOON UNIT: Moon Unit to Thundercat. We have it surrounded.
(MALE VOICE, OVER WALKIE TALKIE)
THUNDERCAT: Copy that.
(HEAVY BREATHING)
(MALE VOICE)
DARK EAGLE: Dark Eagle to Thundercat. I'm in position.
(OVER WALKIE TALKIE)
Thundercat: Copy that.
(OVER WALKIE TALKIE)
THUNDERCAT: Do we have visual?
DARK EAGLE: I see it.
(OVER WALKIE TALKIE)
THUNDERCAT: Dark Eagle, engage target.
(GRENADE EXPLODING)
(OVER WALKIE TALKIE)
THUNDERCAT: Engage.
(GUNS FIRING)
(DROP BEAR ROARING)
(MALE SCREAMING)
- DARK EAGLE: Holy shit!
(OVER WALKIE TALKIE)
THUNDERCAT: Dark Eagle, hold your position.
THUNDERCAT: I said- (SCREAMS)
(GUNSHOT)
DARK EAGLE: Ahh!
(GUNS FIRING)
- (DROP BEAR ROARING)
(SCREAMING)
Drop bear hunters?
Yeah. How mad is that?
But how do they know about it?
Maybe somebody finds out about it.
Tells their weekend hunter friends.
Maybe they hunt this thing together.
Friends hunting a drop bear?
But how do they find out about it?
That's the question, isn't it?
But why the secrecy? Why keep it to themselves?
Why would they tell anyone?
If you found out a cryptid existed
makes sense to keep it a secret, hunt it yourself, yeah?
Take the glory without the competition.
I suppose.
Park's closed today.
They shut down the park when your group went missing
and launched a search and rescue.
So maybe they found out the place was closed and decided to
come up.
As long as they avoid the search and rescue party
they could have the place to themselves.
Hey.
How do you know about that stand-your-ground stuff?
You learn a few things being out here with that thing.
If it thinks you're going to put up a fight, I think it
leaves you alone.
Listen Jay, about what I said earlier
No, forget it.
No man, look I really think I should apologise.
Na, na, na, forget it.
So we're cool?
We cool.
Okay? Let's move.
This way.
JAY: Oi. Over there!
I think it's another clue.
Another clue.
What'd it say?
A park ranger must guide a hiker, a hunter and the Beast
across the river.
The ranger has a boat that only fits two people at a time.
The ranger is the only one who can drive the boat.
If the hiker is left alone with the Beast
the Beast will attack the hiker.
If the hunter is left alone with the Beast
the hunter will attack the Beast.
How many trips does the park ranger have to take
to take all three across the river safely?
Path A, six
or path B, seven?
Oh god.
JAY: It must be this thing.
JAY: Okay, okay.
CHARLIE: How are we going to figure this out?
JAY: Uh, should be easy, it's just
the park ranger just takes, okay?
Takes the Beast over to the other side, right?
-Mmm hmm, mmm hmm.
Leaving the hunter and the hiker.
Then, takes the hiker over.
JAY: Easy.
- CHARLIE: No, no, no. But now the hiker and the Beast are
together
Beast eats the hiker.
JAY: Alright, scratch that. Okay.
What if the hunter goes over?
Now the
now the hunter and the Beast are together
hunter kills the Beast.
JAY: What if, the hunter goes over first?
CHARLIE: But then the Beast and the hiker are still
together, yeah?
You need to take the hiker over first.
But then the hunter kills the Beast.
Ugh.
Alright, so
the boat, yeah?
It only fits two people, right?
Yeah.
Does the park ranger have to be in the boat?
Yeah.
JAY: So that means.
JAY: Okay.
JAY: Take the hunter to the first side.
JAY: Uh, okay.
-CHARLIE: Oh god.
JAY: Okay.
JAY: That means.
That means.
That's easy.
I got it.
What if
the park ranger
is the Beast.
We're going to die out here.
We're actually going to die out here.
-Wait, what?
We made it this far
and now we're going to be defeated by a puzzle for children.
JAY: No, Charlie, this is easy!
JAY: Are you missing the part where it's a puzzle for
children
you said it yourself.
It's not about the puzzle, Jay.
It's about this place.
It's not going to let us leave.
JAY: No, come on. This is easy.
150 years and nobody makes it out of here
so that's it
pack it in, lock it up, stick a fork in it because we are
done.
Out here? Beast always wins.
Okay, okay, okay.
Umm, get this, yeah?
Beast goes over.
The park ranger goes over with the Beast to the other side
goes back over
and gets the hiker.
Takes the Beast back with him
to the other side
but now the hunter and the Beast are together.
JAY: Then we just take
the hunter over
put the hiker back.
-No, no, no!
CHARLIE: Don't take the hiker back. Leave the hiker there.
CHARLIE: Go back for the Beast.
-Go back for the Beast?
CHARLIE: Yes!
- Okay. Alright, alright.
JAY: Okay, okay, um.
JAY: Alright, alright, get this.
-Yeah, yeah.
JAY: The ranger?
The ranger takes the Beast over to the other side
leaving the hiker and the hunter.
-Mmm hmm.
JAY: Then, takes the hiker.
-Yeah.
JAY: Okay? Over to the side with the Beast
but then
takes the Beast back with him
to the first side
leaving the hiker by himself.
-Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Then, takes the hunter over, yeah?
-Uh hmm.
We take the hunter
take him to the side with the hiker.
-Yep.
Then, goes back over, gets the Beast
takes him back to the other side.
Boom. Done.
You did it.
Son of a bitch, you actually did it.
-We actually did it.
We actually did it!
Woo!
-We actually did it!
JAY: We're gonna get out of here!
-CHARLIE: Come on, yes!
JAY: We actually did it.
CHARLIE: Wait, wait, wait, so that was, umm.
JAY: Seven. What's that?
-Path B.
Path B!
Let's go!
-Let's go!
JAY: Come on, come on!
JAY: Let's go!
Woo!
The way you solved that children's puzzle back there
that was impressive.
- Nah, forget it, man. It was nothing.
No! It was something.
And surviving 24 hours overnight
by yourself against a drop bear?
That was also impressive, man.
I don't know how you did it.
I don't know many people who could. I certainly couldn't.
Yeah, well.
My personal philosophy has always been to try and stay
positive
and be ready to adapt to whatever the circumstances, you
know?
Be like water, death of the ego
all that zen stuff, yeah?
The key is to try and keep an open mind
and be ready to accept whatever reality becomes
and take on whatever shape the fabric of the universe folds
itself into.
You know what I'm saying?
No.
Basically?
Just be ready for anything, you know?
And take on whatever the future may bring.
Look man, for what it's worth
if we make it out of here
I'd be your collab partner anytime.
Thanks man. I really, no
that means a lot to me. It really does.
If it wasn't for you, I don't know where I'd be.
-Don't mention it, man.
Yo.
Respect, man.
Respect.
Oi. Over there.
Looks like someone was having fun.
Yeah, it's a party here.
Oi. Look at this one.
Jackets, trekking poles
cryptid kids book?
What? Hey, let me see that.
Pass it here, pass it here.
No way.
What is it?
Yowie?
-They, yeah
these must have been the guys who took it.
- Took what?
When Stacey and I were hunting the Beast
we heard gunshots in the distance
and when we came back to our camp
all of our belongings were taken including this book.
Stacey was really pissed.
They must have heard the call whistle.
Come through and taken it.
But why would they take your stuff?
Good question.
Maybe we can ask them when they get here.
Let's just wait for them.
-Yeah, why not?
Crazy ride, wasn't it?
You can say that again.
Well we didn't quite get revenge
Maybe that'll have to wait.
What do you think will happen once we tell everyone?
Who cares?
As long as we get the evidence out, the people can decide.
Me?
I think I need a holiday.
You know?
I was thinking.
Maybe the drop bear doesn't deserve to die.
Maybe it deserves to live.
Instead of hunting it, why don't we preserve it?
Turn this whole place into a conservation park
where the drop bear can live in peace.
After all's said and done.
Maybe the real monster
was us.
Jay?
Yeah?
Shut the fuck up.
Oi.
Someone's here.
Hey! Over here!
We know about the drop bear!
To Christian, Merry Christmas from your
secret Santa?
Secret Santa?
World's okayest park ranger?
He's a park ranger?
Park knows about the drop bear! Jay!
(MALE VOICE, OVER WALKIE TALKIE)
BRAVO FURY: Bravo Fury to Red Tail. Status Report.
MALE VOICE:
RED TAIL: Red Tail to Bravo Fury.
Both remaining trespassers have now been secured.
(OVER WALKIE TALKIE)
BRAVO FURY: Copy that.
(BACKPACK UNZIPPING)
(OVER WALKIE TALKIE)
RED TAIL: Red Tail to Bravo Fury.
The evidence is in my possession.
(OVER WALKIE TALKIE)
BRAVO FURY: Copy that.
You think
you think you're going to get away with this?
People are going to find out.
People are dying out here.
And for what?
A measly percentage?
(OVER WALKIE TALKIE)
BRAVO FURY: Secure the evidence. Nothing leaves the park.
RED TAIL: Red Tail to-
(FIGHTING SOUNDS)
CHARLIE: Come on, yeah.
CHARLIE: Yeah, surfs up, motherfucker.
(SURFBOARD SMASHING)
CHARLIE: Yeah! What do you think about that, bitch?
CHARLIE: Alright yeah, I'll give you some.
(FIGHTING SOUNDS)
CHARLIE: You want some more? Want some of this?
CHARLIE: To be or not to, bees.
- (CARTOON-LIKE THROWING SOUND)
(CARTOON-LIKE DROPPING SOUND)
(BEEHIVE SMASHING)
-(BEES BUZZING)
(HUNTER SCREAMING)
-CHARLIE: Hah! Yeah!
CHARLIE: No coming back from that, is there?
(CARTOON-LIKE FIGHTING SOUNDS)
CHARLIE: Okay, alright! I surrender.
(CHARLIE WIMPERING IN PAIN)
-(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)
(OVER WALKIE TALKIE)
BRAVO FURY: Bravo Fury to Red Tail. Status report.
(DROP BEAR GROWLING)
(SCREAMING)
-(SOUND CUTTING OUT)
(DROP BEAR GROWLING)
Oh, Jay.
Oh man, I'm glad to see you.
-Charlie, Charlie.
The drop bear, it's here.
The hunter, he's a park ranger, it took him out.
Wait, park ranger?
-Yeah, yeah, here.
The park knows about the drop bear, yeah
it's a massive conspiracy, they've been hunting it in secret
we need to get the truth out, come on, man, let's go.
-Okay.
Come on.
Hey, what's wrong? What's wrong, Jay?
Ankle, my ankle, it's broken.
- Oh, hey.
No, no, we can still make it through, okay?
We can still make it through.
-Charlie, Charlie. You need to get out of here, okay?
Look.
This way it can't take us both, okay?
- No. Not like this, man. You're not going out like this.
Charlie.
(DROP BEAR ROARS)
- Run!
(GRENADE EXPLODING)
(FIRE CRACKLING)
(DROP BEAR GROWLING)
(DROP BEAR ROARING)
(DROP BEAR ROARING)
Come on.
(DROP BEAR ROARING)
(STABBING)
(DROP BEAR WHIMPERING)
(GRUNTING)
Oh yes, oh yes.
(THUNDER STRIKING)
(BUSY PARTY CHATTER, MUSIC PLAYING)
(FEMALE VOICE)
Yo, Charlie, what's up?
Oh, hey, Jessie, listen.
-Yeah, listen
this is a really bad time right now, I'm kinda in the middle
of something.
What? No, no, no, Jessie, Jessie listen, I need your help.
I can't really talk right now, so-
-I'm in Berribrook. I need you to get here as soon as you
can.
Wait, Berribrook?
-Yeah, yeah, I'm at a campground.
Why? What are you doing in Berribrook?
-Why?
Yeah, why? What is it?
What is it?
-Yeah, what is the problem?
Stuff.
-Stuff?
Stuff.
-What stuff?
Things!
-What are you talking about?
Alright, alright, okay, okay, umm
Stacey and I
we were attacked.
-Wait, are you serious?
Yes, yes, I'll explain everything when you get here.
I just need you to get here as soon as you can, okay?
What, like, right now?
Yes, yes, I don't have much time, they're looking for me,
please!
Listen I can't go right now, okay? I'm sorry.
I'm at my office's Christmas party and-
(GIGGLING)
Don't! Stop!
So yeah, this is really bad time-
-Stacey's dead. She didn't make it.
Stacey, Jess, Stacey! You're best friend, she's dead!
What are you talking about?
I can't tell you, because if I tell you
you're gonna think that I'm making this up or I'm completely
insane, or.
Charlie, I'm not going anywhere unless you tell me what's
going on, okay?
Alright, I'll tell you, but if I tell you you're going to
have to promise that you believe me
that you're not going to think that I'm making this up or
anything, promise me.
Okay, I promise.
Okay, I wasn't there when it happened but
Stacey was attacked and I ran into a vlogger, okay?
And he said that he saw the same creature attack his
girlfriend.
He said, the creature was.
Yes?
He said it was a-
-Yes?
(DROP BEAR ROARING)
(THUNDER STRIKING)
(DROP BEAR SNIFFING AND GROWLING)
(DROP BEAR SCAMPERING AWAY)
(THUNDER STRIKING)
(WIND BLOWING)
It's a drop bear.
-A what?
A drop bear.
(THUNDER STRIKING)
Charlie, listen-
No, no, no! Listen, alright?
I know what this sounds like, okay?
But this is not a joke. I repeat, not a joke.
I mean, look, it is
but it's real, very real.
It took Stacey.
Are you telling me a drop bear killed Stacey?
-Yes.
Look, I know what this sounds like, okay?
But it's real and I need your help, please.
If they're so real then how am I only hearing about this
now?
Because there's a massive conspiracy, Jess, alright?
The park knows they have a drop bear problem they just don't
want to do anything about it
because there's too much money involved.
So drop bears are real but they're keeping it a secret
because, tourism reasons?
-Yes?
Charlie, I'm pretty sure they send out search and rescues
for missing people at Berribrook
why would they rescue people if they don't want the truth
getting out?
Because they're not rescuing anyone, okay?
Look if someone goes missing in the park
then they send in a cleanup crew to comb the area for
evidence
and if they find anything, whether that's
cameras, videos or people
then they dispose of it
they make sure none of it makes its way out of the park.
Like I said, it's a conspiracy.
So what do you want me to do?
Just get here as soon as you can, okay?
I don't know who else to call.
It's not up to me, okay?
Alright, I'm going to contact the police
and see if they can-
-No, no, no!
Do not contact any authorities, okay?
We don't know how deep this rabbit hole goes.
Alright. There's this guy I know
he might be able to help you.
Who?
-A guy I know.
Used to be flatmates, he lives close by the park.
Alright.
Just don't tell him anything about the drop bear, okay?
Don't tell anyone anything they don't need to know.
Hey Charlie, which campground?
It's the one by the main road, I think.
Military contracts?
Cloning. Cloning?
Scientific experimentation?
Jess, I think we just hit the jackpot!
(THUNDER STRIKING)
Okay, he says he'll be there in about an hour.
Charlie?
Bad news. I think I just saw someone, a figure by the edge
of the forest.
Tell your friend to get here as soon as he can, okay?
And make sure he puts some Vegemite behind his ears.
Charlie, don't take this the wrong way-
-Just trust me, okay?
I still have some serious questions.
Like, how has this drop bear stayed a secret for so long?
Like I said, Jess, it's a conspiracy
the park know about the drop bear problem
they just, they don't want to do anything about it
and they make sure nobody who knows the truth
makes it out of here.
But what happens to the people they find?
I don't know, but it's probably not good.
This drop bear
people can't be the only thing it's eating yeah? So what
else does it eat?
I don't know
it's a national park so
kangaroos, possums, that kind of thing.
Charlie, that's nowhere near enough
to feed an animal of that size.
Maybe they're omnivores.
Okay but, why would a creature
evolve to ambush its prey from treetops, anyway?
Why would it need to climb trees and drop down on its prey
to hunt?
I don't know maybe it's some kind of evolutionary advantage?
The only reason an animal would ever evolve to hunt that way
would be if its main food source was some kind of tall
biped.
What did you say?
I said a creature that ambushes its prey from treetops
would only make sense if it was the natural predator
of something like a giant, tall biped.
(ANIMAL ROARING)
Charlie?
Charlie?
(YOWIE ROARING)
JESS: Hello?
(WHITE NOISE)
(FRANTIC RUSTLING)
(MALE VOICE)
Okay.
(MALE VOICE)
Oh my god.
(FRANTIC RUSTLING)
(MALE VOICE)
Oh my god.
(OWL HOOTING)
(DISTANT ANIMAL ROARING)
What's up guys?
Umm.
Wubbsy here.
Update time.
So, umm.
The others are still missing.
Right now, I'm in a tent
at the campsite.
I think there's something out there.
Just listen for a second.
(DISTANT ANIMAL ROARING)
Did you hear that?
Did you hear that?
That was loud.
Okay, umm.
So
so, uh
it, it's
just past one a.m.
and that's been going on for about 15 minutes now
and it's just been getting louder
and louder and louder
and it's really freaking me out.
(DISTANT ANIMAL ROARING)
Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god.
You hearing that?
You hearing that?
Wait, wait
I'll see if I can get a better sound.
Hang on, I'll open the tent.
See if you can hear that.
(DISTANT ANIMAL ROARING)
Did you hear that? There it is.
There it is again.
What the hell is that?
Okay, umm.
Umm. So
what if it picks up our scent?
What if it shows up? This could be very bad guys.
Umm .
This is what happens when you leave the house.
Nature. Not even once.
(DISTANT ANIMAL ROARING)
I don't know why people come out here.
I've always thought it was a bit overrated, honestly.
I mean, sure
you got plants and animals and all that but
you got plants and animals at home, don't you?
Plus, they're not trying to kill you. Usually.
So.
Okay, okay, okay.
Okay.
Umm.
New plan.
Let's see if anyone else is awake.
Oi. Jay?
You awake?
Jay?
Jenna?
Looks like they never went to sleep.
So, basically?
I'm the only one here.
So that's not good.
Okay, alright guys.
Hey, time to make a call.
You can't always get a signal out here.
MALE VOICE: Woo! What is up? It's JaydubZero.
- Wait. Hey? Jay?
No, no, no!
(ANIMAL PANTING)
Oh my god!
Come on, come on!
(ANIMAL SNORTING)
(TENT UNZIPPING)
Ah! Oh my god. Oh my god.
It's opening it!
(ANIMAL ROARING)
(TENT UNZIPPING)
It's gone.
It's gone. It's gone.
It's gone.
Oh fuck!
Oh, that was intense.
Oh, I don't know how that happened
I don't know what just happened
but I'll take it.
Oh my god.
Oh fuck!
(VOICEMAIL)
Woo! What is up? It's Jay-
Hey!
Hey!
Hey, where are you?
Listen, get back to me as soon as you can, alright?
Look, something's just happened, alright?
Something turned up at the campsite. alright?
Hey. I think it was the beast, too.
I didn't get a good look at it
but I saw a shadow
it came up to the tent
I just
oh my god.
I think it saw me and just bottled out of there.
So yeah, yeah I uh
I think I scared it away.
(ANIMAL GROWLING)
(ANIMAL ATTACKING)
(WHITE NOISE)
(EERIE MUSIC BEGINS)
This thing has killed 40 people, isn't that the coolest
fucking thing?
Uh huh.
I mean, how many El Chupacabra deaths are there? None.
How many Jersey Devil deaths are there? None.
This thing has a kill count higher than any other cryptid
and that is my jam.
Sounds scary, babe.
That's the thing, babe. This isn't your typical cryptid
hunt.
This is actually dangerous.
There's no smoke and mirrors
there's no playing scared.
What we have here is genuine horror
and I'm all for it.
The lady in white. That was scary.
No, that's what I'm talking about, babe.
Normally these trips have a certain way of doing things
there's a structure to the essence.
We show up, they give us a tragic backstory
they show us some creepy paintings and portraits
and scary dolls and we're supposed to get all weepy and make
a show out of it?
Not here.
This place is different. This place is real.
Sounds fun.
This isn't about fun, Charlie. This is about danger.
This is the Australian wilderness, danger personified.
They have snakes, they have spiders
everything out here is trying to kill you
and I'm loving it.
They have koalas. Koalas are fun.
Fuck koalas.
You know what the problem with koalas is?
They're slow, they're lazy and they're stupid.
They're going extinct because they've forgotten how to breed
think about that for a second.
This is a species too dumb to live.
I don't know, babe. I think they're kinda cute.
Well they're not. Fuck them.
Want it? Last one.
No, why would I want that?
Because it's delicious and good.
I don't eat that stuff.
Do you want to know why? Corporations.
This is a cultural icon, babe.
That's exactly what I'm talking about.
It's because some big suits sat down in their big, expensive
office
and decided to have a big meeting and market their product
that way.
And here we are. It disgusts me on multi-patriotic levels.
Your loss.
Are we done?
I think we are.
Okay, let's get out of here.
Picture this
it's 1927
right here, on this very mountain.
A man is leading an expedition
an eight man team, up that mountain.
A storm is pummelling the mountainside.
The leader is undaunted though, the leader
is E.F. fucking Sanderson.
Retired army sergeant
a man of God
and a man obsessed with one thing
the Beast of Berribrook.
And I quote.
And I quote.
Oh the Beast, oh the Beast
oh how it haunts me.
My beloved, nay, the almighty Himself
cannot compete with my obsession for the acursed creature.
Sounds like he's fun at parties.
He's leading this expedition up.
The rain is still pummelling the mountainside
lightning strikes the area
and there it is.
A flash illuminates the area
and suddenly they see it
a furry hominid.
The horses bolt, the men flee in terror
all but one man
not E.F. fucking Sanderson.
He
stoops down
to the mud
he picks up
the camera
and he goes to take the photo himself.
The creature is about to flee
as he presses the shutter
he realises his hand is frozen solid.
At that moment he only has one choice
he does what any man would do
he reaches into his pants and heroically
jerks himself off.
-Charlie! What the fuck? Stop!
What the fuck?
His newly warm hand
encrusts the camera shutter.
-Yuk.
Encrusts the camera shutter
and takes the most famous photo
in Berribrook history.
That's a shit photo, Charlie.
Well, yeah, it's not the greatest photo.
It's the worst photo I've ever fucking seen.
It doesn't even look like anything.
Stace, come on
I'm trying to give you a sense of how unlikely it is
that we even have this photo.
This man is a hero to all cryptozoologists.
A man who did what he need to do
to get the truth out there.
And that's what we're going to do today, Stace.
This here is Yowie country
and today we're going to prove it.
Or we could turn around and go home.
-What?
Got a message from Carol at park relations.
Good morning, I hope you are well, smiley face emoji.
Because I have some bad news and some people could be dead.
Oh, not really
sure she nailed that segue.
A group of vloggers went missing on the mountain yesterday
crying face emoji
a search and rescue is underway, eyes emoji.
The park's closed to the public, the vlog's going to have to
be postponed.
I'm sorry about this, and happy holidays
Santa face emoji.
Not really sure she nailed that segue either.
So, yeah
looks like we're going to have to cut this one short, Yowie
boy.
No, this is a test.
An obstacle, placed in our path to test our cryptid faith.
We don't have time for this.
Let's just turn around and go home. Come on.
-No!
Not like this.
Not in the shadow of E.F. fucking Sanderson.
But what if they find us?
Babe
we're internet personalities.
If anyone complains, we'll sick our fans on them and play
the victim
and if that doesn't work, we'll just throw out an apology
video.
Why do I hate how true that is?
I don't know.
Get this, okay?
It's 2013
and the park experiences its worst
P.R. disaster ever
when two Hong Kong girls mysteriously disappear.
The subject makes international headlines
and the park gets shut down.
Eighteen months later, the park reopens
but tourists still stay away.
So what do they do?
-What do they do?
Well, they start
a marketing campaign to try and
rehash, rebrand the parks image as a
family-friendly tourist destination
and they bring on a series of influencers to try and attract
a family friendly audience, influencers like
JaydubZero.
-Who's JaydubZero?
He is a controversial internet personality.
What does that mean?
-Basically means he's a complete arsehole.
Get this. He starts a youtube channel that's all about
pranks
and breaks into some old guy's house.
Then he gets banned, he releases this lame apology video
and suddenly everyone's back on his side. Wait, wait, wait.
Anyway, then he releases his own cryptocoin.
Suddenly, he's going on about the wonders of
decentralisation
and the values of libertarianism.
Here, look.
JAY: Today I'm excited to be finally announcing, my very own
cryptocurrency.
(EXCITED YOUTUBER SOUND EFFECTS)
JAY: Woo! Based on highly advanced blockchain technology
JaydubCoin is completely safe and secure.
-Makes you sick, doesn't it?
JAY: Don't take this the wrong way but
does anyone else feel the moon is a bit overrated?
I don't know
I think he's kinda funny.
-Funny?
The only thing funny is the scams
that he's been schilling, anyway
his coin crashes, along with all the other coins that he's
been schilling
his popularity declines
he pivots to youtube back again
and starts a stunts and challenges channel.
Anyway, that's going great until a friend nearly dies
doing a construction site challenge.
Other youtubers start calling him out for being
I don't know, reckless irresponsible
and he loses his mind and just starts
challenging them all to a public duel.
Wait.
Damn it.
Earlier this week
a bunch of influencers, so let's see it was
Charlotte Nichols
Wubbsy, Jenrexor, who's also his girlfriend.
Wait! Jenrexor's his girlfriend?
-Uh, yeah.
They all show up at this park to try and
whitewash their image and help rehabilitate the park
bring the tourists back.
-And go missing?
And go missing.
And not a single fuck to give?
-None at all.
Listen, if this means one less annoying internet personality
in the world
then call me the newest member of the Beast fanclub.
Thank you based cryptid for doing god's work.
That's kinda fucked up, you know?
No, listen, look, the guy is slash was a complete dickhead.
Nothing of value was lost.
-Okay, okay.
Charlie, just because you weren't a fan of the guy
doesn't mean that he deserves to die.
What happened to, you know
live and let live?
Shh.
What?
Yeah, there we go.
What is it?
Koalas, come on.
You have problems.
Am I the only one getting Mongolian death worm vibes from
this place?
Just feels kinda wormy.
Alright, in five, four, three.
What's up everyone, I'm Stacey.
And I'm Charlie.
-And we are
Terra Australis.
Today we are out here in glorious Berribrook National Park
New South Wales.
Now we're here because a couple of weeks ago
some park officials reached out to us
and asked us if we could help them investigate a scary
mystery.
That's right Stacey, you see
since 1860, over 40 individuals have vanished in this park
never to be seen again.
Now the locals around here
they like to blame these disappearances on what they call
the Beast of Berribrook
and with 49 unofficial victims, it makes this Beast the
deadliest cryptid
in the world of cryptozoology.
But its true identity remains a mystery.
So today, me and Charlie are gonna head out there
see if we can finally find this thing
before it finds us.
- Alright guys, check it out.
We've got three trailcams set up
here, here and here.
And over here
we have our listening device.
We scan the area
and then, if we find something
we move in with this.
Our thermal imaging device.
And finally
this, our Sasquatch mating call whistle.
One blow of this will attract the creature right to us.
-(MATING CALL)
-Or you could just use a dating app, like a normal person.
Anyway, once the creature reveals itself to us
we record its existence and we high-tail it out of there.
Alright, but before we do that guys
please make sure that you check out our Instagram
and our Twitter.
And please, please, please, like comment and subscribe.
I know you want to, so go ahead and smash that like button
below.
Alright, Charlie's ready to go and I'm ready to go
let's go Beast hunting.
I think I got something.
Sounds like a drone.
Well, the Beast has picked up a new hobby.
Maybe it's the search and rescue party nearby.
Should we move?
I think it's heading away from us.
It's gone now.
I think I got something, wanna hear it?
Yep.
-I'll play it on the device.
(DISTANT ANIMAL ROARING)
Did you hear that?
-Play it again.
(DISTANT ANIMAL ROARING)
Can you make it louder?
-Yeah, hang on.
(DISTANT ANIMAL ROARING)
Something wants to mate.
Okay, okay wait, this is it.
Okay, so remember no sudden movements and no loud noises
and keep the talking to a minimum.
(MATING CALL)
Oh.
I think I got something.
(RECORDING OF DISTANT BANG)
What was that?
I don't know, it sounded mechanical if that makes sense.
(RECORDING OF DISTANT BANG)
Sounds almost like fireworks.
Maybe it's celebrating something.
What would it be celebrating?
An end to a hundred years of lonely nights.
Maybe it's gunfire?
Oh yeah, like I always say
the only thing scarier than a cryptid is a cryptid with a
gun.
It would finally explain the body count.
(MATING CALL)
No, I'm not hearing anything.
Should we move on?
Yeah, maybe we should head back to where we were.
Maybe its made its way there.
-Yeah, alright.
(RECORDING OF DISTANT ANIMAL ROARING)
You hear that?
Sounds like a hominid to me.
I'm getting some serious Yowie vibes.
I think E.F. Sanderson was right.
This here really is Yowie country.
Are Yowies dangerous to humans, though?
Oh yeah.
There was a story about this guy
who was driving through the Pilliga at night
when he gets lost
so he pulls over to the side of the road and he's checking
maps or something
when all of a sudden
the creature appears by the side of the road.
Says it was over two metres tall, big and furry
and he locks himself in his car thinking his safe
and the Yowie then comes over
rips the car door right off its hinges
and pulls the guy out into the night, screaming
just vroom. Argghh!
Anyway, the guy never went into detail about what happened
next
but, eventually
the monster dumped him back by the side of the road
and
he spent the rest of his days in a mental asylum
just tormented by the incident.
Yowies.
Don't want to mess with those guys.
What the fuck?
Who would take my cryptid book?
I had that book since I was ten, that was like my gateway
book.
Fuck!
Because a Yowie came through here, Stace. Admit it.
This place really is Yowie country.
No it was some idiot bushwalker who thought it would be
funny
to come up here and nick our stuff.
-Yowies are inquisitive creatures, Stace.
They'll take anything that isn't nailed down.
Must've come through here when it heard the mating call.
What happened to, you know, the wilderness peace treaty?
You don't take sides against nature out here
you don't hog the trail
you don't hesitate to give water to a stranger in need
and you definitely don't steal their fucking stuff.
I think you're gonna want to see this.
See that?
No fucking way.
Something did come through here.
Nine by ten.
Holy shit!
So something really is out here.
Okay, umm, okay
we need to make sure we get all this, right?
Yeah.
-Photos. And casts too.
STACEY: Wait there's.
CHARLIE: What is it?
It's a quadruped.
See?
This is the right front.
So it's not a hominid?
So it's not a Yowie.
- It's not THE Yowie.
So what is it?
I don't know. What do you think?
Thylacine?
Kinda looks familiar.
Like what?
I think I know what it is.
- What is it?
It's a big cat!
No, can't be.
Queensland tiger?
No, but not this far down south.
They're all up north.
Maybe they used the mountains, made their way down here?
But why?
- Big park
lots of places to hide
steady diet of wallabies and kangaroos
and
tourists.
The Beast is a big cat?
But
that doesn't mean that a Yowie couldn't be out here too?
No, listen-
- No, no, no, look, I'm just saying
the odds of a Yowie also being out here go up
with the big cat.
- No, hominids they're
they're placid creatures. They don't attack unless provoked.
I mean, even in that story that you told, the
Yowie sounded more curious than anything.
I mean listen, it doesn't make sense
why would a Yowie have a kill count over 40?
Nothing about this screams hominid.
Maybe the Yowie is injured and it can't hunt?
-No, listen-
No, no, no, look, look
you know, right circumstances and all that
there were these lions in Kenya that turned maneaters-
- What is this thing with you and this Yowie thing?
Okay.
I will tell you, but first you have to swear to me
that you won't ridicule me mercilessly
into total humiliation.
Alright.
One day my parents took me to my cousin's house.
We were both bored out of our minds
so we decide to
take a trip into the nearby woods.
My cousin says that there's this old, creepy well
that he wants to show me.
I don't say no.
We make our way through the woods
and we find the well. It is in fact, old and creepy.
Then we notice these weird plants growing
around the well.
So my cousin dared me to eat some, and I dared him.
So, we did.
And at first we felt nothing
also we didn't die
which was good.
Anyway, we start wandering
back through the woods.
Then we start feeling this weird
queasiness?
Anyway, then we start giggling, then we start laughing
and that's when we see it, this wombat.
So he grabs it and tries to hold it, and the wombat slips
away.
And then he tries to hold it again, slips away
tries to hold it again, slips away, and I
start feeling like I'm experiencing severe time dilation
as he just
keeps on grabbing it and holding it over and over and over
again.
Eventually the wombat
breaks free, smacks my cousin with its arse
and waddles off.
It's when the next animal appears that I realise I am
fucking peaking.
A kangaroo
and
I
start to become elated
I start screaming
I feel like I could watch this fight go on for 2000 years.
Anyway, eventually my cousin defeats the kangaroo
and emerges victorious.
And he's looking around for the next challenger.
That's when
it
appears.
His arms are massive.
His legs are massive.
He
is massive.
And he says that
we have distrupted the fragile peace treaty of the woods
and must be punished
and then he roars
and we leg it
back to
my cousin's house.
I go and find my parents and they take me home.
On the way, we stop for kebabs.
That is, the single fucking, craziest thing I've ever heard.
I need to know what happened that day.
This thing has been
eating me alive for years.
I get it now. This thing is like your white whale.
You need to prove that Yowies exist so you can finally know
what happened.
Does your cousin remember anything?
So it's just you.
Oh god. You think I'm insane, don't you?
You're regreting everything, why did I I tell you-
-No, no, no!
No, I don't think you're insane. I believe you.
I want to help you try solve this thing.
You mean that?
-Yeah.
There's a park nearby that said they had a couple of weird
sightings
maybe we can go there next?
We'll find that Yowie.
I promise.
STACEY: I love you.
I love you.
(ANIMAL SNORTING)
(ANIMAL GROWLING)
Fucking koalas.
(DISTANT ANIMAL ROARING)
What?
It's missing.
(TRAILCAM WHITE NOISE)
(ANIMAL ROARING)
What the fuck?
(DEVICE BEEPS SLOWLY)
(MATING CALL)
(MATING CALL)
Oh my god.
Alright.
Let's see what we got.
(DEVICE BEEPS SLOWLY)
(DEVICE BEEPS QUICKLY)
Holy shit!
What the hell?
Hey, wait!
Stop!
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Hey, hey, hey. Whoa.
You're JaydubZero.
We need to get out of here.
- Listen, it's okay
hey, my name's Charlie, I'm a vlogger.
-No, no, no! You don't get it, do you?
They're dead.
-Who's dead?
They're all dead!
-Who's dead? Who's dead?
Jay!
CHARLOTTE: Where am I? Where is it?
Oh that's annoying.
Can't find it.
(sing-song)
Wait, where is it? Where is it?
Where is it? I know it's around here somewhere.
Whoa!
Hello?
Who is that?
Somebody there?
Is there anyone there?
BEAST COSTUME GUY: Rwar!
CHARLOTTE: Ahh!
Stop! Hey!
Hey, hey, hey! Listen!
Jay, just relax, yeah?
Tell me what happened?
-Going to be here soon.
What's going to be here soon?
-Killed the others.
It took them during the night, one by one. They're all dead.
Alright, hey. No, no, no, look at me.
CHARLOTTE: What was that?
Hello?
(sing-song)
Hello there? Hello there?
Very funny. Really.
(sing-song)
Ha, ha, ha, ha.
(sing-song)
Aha, ha, ha, ha.
Alright. Now tell me what happened, tell me everything.
Alright, alright.
Me and the crew, two days ago
camping challenge, overnight.
- Then what happened?
Beast hunt challenge.
Here, on the mountain, yesterday.
Playing the game, Jenna
she broke her leg
so we ended early.
Then what happened?
Wubbsy
he showed up
he told us Charlotte was missing.
CHARLOTTE: I know you're there.
I know you're there.
I said, I know you're there.
(ANIMAL ATTACKING)
(ANIMAL SCAMPERING AWAY)
So Charlotte went missing.
Then what happened?
Producers
they pitched some tents so we had some drinks and waited for
her.
And then?
Producers, they went to look for her.
They never came back.
And then?
Night fell.
And then?
Then?
That's when the Beast arrived.
(ANIMAL SNORTING)
Okay, so night fell
what happened then?
We went to look for them
Jenna and me.
Wubbsy was asleep in the tent.
Jenna as in your girlfriend?
And then?
It was dark.
I lost sight of her.
I heard her screaming in the woods.
And then, I saw her.
She could barely walk.
And then?
And then she was dead.
(ANIMAL GRUNTING)
(STICK SNAPPING)
(STICK SNAPPING)
(STICK SNAPPING)
Hey!
Go!
Argh!
(ANIMAL SCAMPERING AWAY)
As it dragged her away, I just ran for it, you know?
It was dark, I couldn't find the campsite.
So I spent the night out here.
And then?
Daybreak.
I headed out. I found the campsite.
When I opened Wubbsy's tent
there was so much blood.
Charlie?
I don't want to keep pushing, I just need to know one more
thing
for my own, you know, state of mind.
Last night, when it attacked Jenna
did you see what it was?
Was it short? Tall?
I mean, it was just too dark, you know?
But you saw it attack her?
But you didn't see what it was?
Are you sure? Was it two-legged? Four-legged?
It was just too dark.
Listen, I know this has been really tough for you
and I don't want to-
-Wait.
I may have seen something.
The claw.
No, forget it.
-But what did you see?
It was just too dark, just forget it.
Sort of looks like.
I'll tell you, yeah, but you have to promise me you're gonna
believe me.
No matter how crazy or insane this sounds you have to
promise me you're gonna believe me.
(ANIMAL GROWLING)
With the shadows and the light
it kinda looked like a
Yes?
(ANIMAL SNORTING)
Looked like a-
-Yes?
(ANIMAL GROWLING)
Like a-
-Yes?
(ANIMAL GROWLING)
Like a koala.
(SCREAMING)
(ANIMAL ATTACKING)
(ANIMAL SCAMPERING AWAY)
What the fuck?
Stace?
A koala?
Are you absolutely positive you saw a koala?
Hey, I'm telling you what I saw.
It was grey, it was furry, it had fangs, and it dropped down
on top of her.
It dropped
it dropped down on her?
Well, yeah. From the tree.
What is it?
Stace?
JAY: It's okay, man.
I know what it's like.
You alright?
I just
I don't know
I just can't believe she's gone.
Listen
I was thinking
maybe if we knew where this killer koala came from
maybe it's some kind of evolution gone wrong?
Maybe it's some sort of prehistoric ancestor or something?
It's not that.
Then what is it?
Let me paint you a picture, okay?
You're a
naive, bright-eyed, bushy-tailed tourist making your way
through
the Australian wilderness.
You have a love of nature.
An affinity for the wild you've developed
as a substitute for your own lack of personality.
You bask in the natural wonder.
You're overwhelmed.
Maybe even a little aroused.
But what you don't realise is
you're being hunted
by something grey
something big
and something very, very angry.
A koala?
To the untrained eye, perhaps, but no.
No, no, no. This thing?
This thing is a drop bear.
What's a drop bear?
A perfect killing machine.
It's not the fastest or the most agile
but it doesn't need to be.
It stalks you from a distance, waiting for you to tire.
And when you do?
You hear it first.
A growl.
At first you can't pinpoint where it came from
but then you hear it again.
The drop bear attacks, not from the side
but from above.
You look up
just in time to see 200 pounds of terrifying mass drop down
onto your upper body.
Dagger-like claws, grabbing onto your head
scientifically
penetrating the softer areas of your cranium.
As it pulls you to the ground
mercifully your neck
snaps.
Okay.
What do we do?
There's got to be something we can do.
We're isolated, unarmed
and facing the most deadly cryptid on the face of the earth.
No, no, no, that's it. We lose Jay, we're done.
No, no.
There's got to be something we can do.
What about the stories?
What stories?
There's stories.
Stories of people being stalked by this thing
sometimes for hours, sometimes for days.
There was this one story about these two girls
They survived seven days out here. Seven days!
For a creature that's meant to be a perfect killing machine
that's a pretty freaking long time.
So maybe there is a way.
Yeah, come on.
So I packed my stuff, a tent and a few things.
Then I realised something.
I'm stuck out here.
No map
no signal
everything starts to look the same.
Then I realised something else
the beast hunt challenge.
The beast hunt challenge?
Yeah. Yesterday my producers set up these clues across the
mountain for this game.
The players gonna go from one station to the next answering
questions.
If they pick the correct answer that leads them to the next
clue
but if they pick the wrong answer then they waste time going
the wrong way.
Eventually, if they get all the answers right, that takes
them to the finish.
So if you play the game and get all the answers right
that takes you out of here?
- Well yeah. Simple as, isn't it?
So what happened?
- I dropped my stuff when the Beast showed.
I was looking for it when I ran into you.
Should be around here somewhere.
What do you do? Like, what kind of vlogging?
Paranormal investigations.
That's cool, that's cool.
Yours?
You ever catch any spooky ghosts?
No.
What was your last investigation?
Banshee forest of unspeakable evil.
Scary?
Not really.
- (LAUGH)
Nice merch.
That's what it's about, isn't it?
So
this thing, it's some sort of bear, yeah?
Mostly.
Where do you think it came from?
Maybe it's the last of its kind.
So there used to be more?
Maybe there still is.
How do you know so much about this thing?
You just kinda pick it up.
Here we go.
In what year was Berribrook National Park opened?
Path A, 1955, path B, 1975?
Well it's '75.
-Yeah, I know. Let's go.
So, you're doing challenges now?
Yeah, well
earlier this year I was looking at that front page.
it's all stunts, challenges and games now.
So you decided to jump on the bandwagon?
Well, yeah. You gotta be ready to reinvent yourself.
Seems a little dangerous when people keep getting hurt.
You heard about that, yeah?
Yeah. Didn't she almost die?
What? No, listen.
Don't you think it might have been a little risky
to come out here given the history you have?
That never happened, bruv.
- Oh, so you think this was a good idea, yeah?
No, I don't but I get it. I get it.
Get what?
-Okay, you need someone to blame for what happened.
You're going to go all captain hindsight
and act like I should have known there was a killer koala
was out here.
I get that.
My brother was a fan of yours.
He and his friends were listening to you last year
during the run up to that crypto bubble
yeah? When you were peddling that shit.
He put everything he had on that coin.
He lost everything.
He was devastated.
I had to sit him down and give him the big talk and explain
to him
that not everyone he admires is to be trusted
that some people just don't care about him at all.
- Okay, yeah.
I'm sorry, alright? I'm sorry.
But that's not on me.
That's on your little bro, see the thing with these coins is
the underlying is solid.
- No, no, no. This is totally on you.
Everything that happened is your fucking fault.
- If your little bro had just held during the dip
three years from now, three, four years
- Jay.
You'll get two, three times per coin.
- Just shut the fuck up and listen to me, alright?
You have a young, impressionable audience, right?
Maybe you should start to recognise the responsibilities
that go along with that, yeah?
The universe was out here giving you hints for years, Jay
but you just didn't want to fucking listen.
And now, you decide to host a challenge
in a place where forty fucking people have gone missing?
Now five of your friends are dead
including your girlfriend, that's on you.
You know what? Fuck you.
You were right, Stace.
He didn't deserve that.
Fuck.
Bags here.
I said, bags here.
Probably wouldn't show up, either.
(ANIMAL GROWLING)
Oh shit! Oh.
Shit.
No, no, no!
JAY: Stay in view, don't show weakness.
Alright, we good, we good.
Whoa.
Oh, fuck.
JAY: You okay?
Uh, yeah.
JAY: You're welcome.
Found this.
(MALE GRUNTING)
(HEAVY BREATHING)
(MALE VOICE, OVER WALKIE TALKIE)
MOON UNIT: Moon Unit to Thundercat. We have it surrounded.
(MALE VOICE, OVER WALKIE TALKIE)
THUNDERCAT: Copy that.
(HEAVY BREATHING)
(MALE VOICE)
DARK EAGLE: Dark Eagle to Thundercat. I'm in position.
(OVER WALKIE TALKIE)
Thundercat: Copy that.
(OVER WALKIE TALKIE)
THUNDERCAT: Do we have visual?
DARK EAGLE: I see it.
(OVER WALKIE TALKIE)
THUNDERCAT: Dark Eagle, engage target.
(GRENADE EXPLODING)
(OVER WALKIE TALKIE)
THUNDERCAT: Engage.
(GUNS FIRING)
(DROP BEAR ROARING)
(MALE SCREAMING)
- DARK EAGLE: Holy shit!
(OVER WALKIE TALKIE)
THUNDERCAT: Dark Eagle, hold your position.
THUNDERCAT: I said- (SCREAMS)
(GUNSHOT)
DARK EAGLE: Ahh!
(GUNS FIRING)
- (DROP BEAR ROARING)
(SCREAMING)
Drop bear hunters?
Yeah. How mad is that?
But how do they know about it?
Maybe somebody finds out about it.
Tells their weekend hunter friends.
Maybe they hunt this thing together.
Friends hunting a drop bear?
But how do they find out about it?
That's the question, isn't it?
But why the secrecy? Why keep it to themselves?
Why would they tell anyone?
If you found out a cryptid existed
makes sense to keep it a secret, hunt it yourself, yeah?
Take the glory without the competition.
I suppose.
Park's closed today.
They shut down the park when your group went missing
and launched a search and rescue.
So maybe they found out the place was closed and decided to
come up.
As long as they avoid the search and rescue party
they could have the place to themselves.
Hey.
How do you know about that stand-your-ground stuff?
You learn a few things being out here with that thing.
If it thinks you're going to put up a fight, I think it
leaves you alone.
Listen Jay, about what I said earlier
No, forget it.
No man, look I really think I should apologise.
Na, na, na, forget it.
So we're cool?
We cool.
Okay? Let's move.
This way.
JAY: Oi. Over there!
I think it's another clue.
Another clue.
What'd it say?
A park ranger must guide a hiker, a hunter and the Beast
across the river.
The ranger has a boat that only fits two people at a time.
The ranger is the only one who can drive the boat.
If the hiker is left alone with the Beast
the Beast will attack the hiker.
If the hunter is left alone with the Beast
the hunter will attack the Beast.
How many trips does the park ranger have to take
to take all three across the river safely?
Path A, six
or path B, seven?
Oh god.
JAY: It must be this thing.
JAY: Okay, okay.
CHARLIE: How are we going to figure this out?
JAY: Uh, should be easy, it's just
the park ranger just takes, okay?
Takes the Beast over to the other side, right?
-Mmm hmm, mmm hmm.
Leaving the hunter and the hiker.
Then, takes the hiker over.
JAY: Easy.
- CHARLIE: No, no, no. But now the hiker and the Beast are
together
Beast eats the hiker.
JAY: Alright, scratch that. Okay.
What if the hunter goes over?
Now the
now the hunter and the Beast are together
hunter kills the Beast.
JAY: What if, the hunter goes over first?
CHARLIE: But then the Beast and the hiker are still
together, yeah?
You need to take the hiker over first.
But then the hunter kills the Beast.
Ugh.
Alright, so
the boat, yeah?
It only fits two people, right?
Yeah.
Does the park ranger have to be in the boat?
Yeah.
JAY: So that means.
JAY: Okay.
JAY: Take the hunter to the first side.
JAY: Uh, okay.
-CHARLIE: Oh god.
JAY: Okay.
JAY: That means.
That means.
That's easy.
I got it.
What if
the park ranger
is the Beast.
We're going to die out here.
We're actually going to die out here.
-Wait, what?
We made it this far
and now we're going to be defeated by a puzzle for children.
JAY: No, Charlie, this is easy!
JAY: Are you missing the part where it's a puzzle for
children
you said it yourself.
It's not about the puzzle, Jay.
It's about this place.
It's not going to let us leave.
JAY: No, come on. This is easy.
150 years and nobody makes it out of here
so that's it
pack it in, lock it up, stick a fork in it because we are
done.
Out here? Beast always wins.
Okay, okay, okay.
Umm, get this, yeah?
Beast goes over.
The park ranger goes over with the Beast to the other side
goes back over
and gets the hiker.
Takes the Beast back with him
to the other side
but now the hunter and the Beast are together.
JAY: Then we just take
the hunter over
put the hiker back.
-No, no, no!
CHARLIE: Don't take the hiker back. Leave the hiker there.
CHARLIE: Go back for the Beast.
-Go back for the Beast?
CHARLIE: Yes!
- Okay. Alright, alright.
JAY: Okay, okay, um.
JAY: Alright, alright, get this.
-Yeah, yeah.
JAY: The ranger?
The ranger takes the Beast over to the other side
leaving the hiker and the hunter.
-Mmm hmm.
JAY: Then, takes the hiker.
-Yeah.
JAY: Okay? Over to the side with the Beast
but then
takes the Beast back with him
to the first side
leaving the hiker by himself.
-Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Then, takes the hunter over, yeah?
-Uh hmm.
We take the hunter
take him to the side with the hiker.
-Yep.
Then, goes back over, gets the Beast
takes him back to the other side.
Boom. Done.
You did it.
Son of a bitch, you actually did it.
-We actually did it.
We actually did it!
Woo!
-We actually did it!
JAY: We're gonna get out of here!
-CHARLIE: Come on, yes!
JAY: We actually did it.
CHARLIE: Wait, wait, wait, so that was, umm.
JAY: Seven. What's that?
-Path B.
Path B!
Let's go!
-Let's go!
JAY: Come on, come on!
JAY: Let's go!
Woo!
The way you solved that children's puzzle back there
that was impressive.
- Nah, forget it, man. It was nothing.
No! It was something.
And surviving 24 hours overnight
by yourself against a drop bear?
That was also impressive, man.
I don't know how you did it.
I don't know many people who could. I certainly couldn't.
Yeah, well.
My personal philosophy has always been to try and stay
positive
and be ready to adapt to whatever the circumstances, you
know?
Be like water, death of the ego
all that zen stuff, yeah?
The key is to try and keep an open mind
and be ready to accept whatever reality becomes
and take on whatever shape the fabric of the universe folds
itself into.
You know what I'm saying?
No.
Basically?
Just be ready for anything, you know?
And take on whatever the future may bring.
Look man, for what it's worth
if we make it out of here
I'd be your collab partner anytime.
Thanks man. I really, no
that means a lot to me. It really does.
If it wasn't for you, I don't know where I'd be.
-Don't mention it, man.
Yo.
Respect, man.
Respect.
Oi. Over there.
Looks like someone was having fun.
Yeah, it's a party here.
Oi. Look at this one.
Jackets, trekking poles
cryptid kids book?
What? Hey, let me see that.
Pass it here, pass it here.
No way.
What is it?
Yowie?
-They, yeah
these must have been the guys who took it.
- Took what?
When Stacey and I were hunting the Beast
we heard gunshots in the distance
and when we came back to our camp
all of our belongings were taken including this book.
Stacey was really pissed.
They must have heard the call whistle.
Come through and taken it.
But why would they take your stuff?
Good question.
Maybe we can ask them when they get here.
Let's just wait for them.
-Yeah, why not?
Crazy ride, wasn't it?
You can say that again.
Well we didn't quite get revenge
Maybe that'll have to wait.
What do you think will happen once we tell everyone?
Who cares?
As long as we get the evidence out, the people can decide.
Me?
I think I need a holiday.
You know?
I was thinking.
Maybe the drop bear doesn't deserve to die.
Maybe it deserves to live.
Instead of hunting it, why don't we preserve it?
Turn this whole place into a conservation park
where the drop bear can live in peace.
After all's said and done.
Maybe the real monster
was us.
Jay?
Yeah?
Shut the fuck up.
Oi.
Someone's here.
Hey! Over here!
We know about the drop bear!
To Christian, Merry Christmas from your
secret Santa?
Secret Santa?
World's okayest park ranger?
He's a park ranger?
Park knows about the drop bear! Jay!
(MALE VOICE, OVER WALKIE TALKIE)
BRAVO FURY: Bravo Fury to Red Tail. Status Report.
MALE VOICE:
RED TAIL: Red Tail to Bravo Fury.
Both remaining trespassers have now been secured.
(OVER WALKIE TALKIE)
BRAVO FURY: Copy that.
(BACKPACK UNZIPPING)
(OVER WALKIE TALKIE)
RED TAIL: Red Tail to Bravo Fury.
The evidence is in my possession.
(OVER WALKIE TALKIE)
BRAVO FURY: Copy that.
You think
you think you're going to get away with this?
People are going to find out.
People are dying out here.
And for what?
A measly percentage?
(OVER WALKIE TALKIE)
BRAVO FURY: Secure the evidence. Nothing leaves the park.
RED TAIL: Red Tail to-
(FIGHTING SOUNDS)
CHARLIE: Come on, yeah.
CHARLIE: Yeah, surfs up, motherfucker.
(SURFBOARD SMASHING)
CHARLIE: Yeah! What do you think about that, bitch?
CHARLIE: Alright yeah, I'll give you some.
(FIGHTING SOUNDS)
CHARLIE: You want some more? Want some of this?
CHARLIE: To be or not to, bees.
- (CARTOON-LIKE THROWING SOUND)
(CARTOON-LIKE DROPPING SOUND)
(BEEHIVE SMASHING)
-(BEES BUZZING)
(HUNTER SCREAMING)
-CHARLIE: Hah! Yeah!
CHARLIE: No coming back from that, is there?
(CARTOON-LIKE FIGHTING SOUNDS)
CHARLIE: Okay, alright! I surrender.
(CHARLIE WIMPERING IN PAIN)
-(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)
(OVER WALKIE TALKIE)
BRAVO FURY: Bravo Fury to Red Tail. Status report.
(DROP BEAR GROWLING)
(SCREAMING)
-(SOUND CUTTING OUT)
(DROP BEAR GROWLING)
Oh, Jay.
Oh man, I'm glad to see you.
-Charlie, Charlie.
The drop bear, it's here.
The hunter, he's a park ranger, it took him out.
Wait, park ranger?
-Yeah, yeah, here.
The park knows about the drop bear, yeah
it's a massive conspiracy, they've been hunting it in secret
we need to get the truth out, come on, man, let's go.
-Okay.
Come on.
Hey, what's wrong? What's wrong, Jay?
Ankle, my ankle, it's broken.
- Oh, hey.
No, no, we can still make it through, okay?
We can still make it through.
-Charlie, Charlie. You need to get out of here, okay?
Look.
This way it can't take us both, okay?
- No. Not like this, man. You're not going out like this.
Charlie.
(DROP BEAR ROARS)
- Run!
(GRENADE EXPLODING)
(FIRE CRACKLING)
(DROP BEAR GROWLING)
(DROP BEAR ROARING)
(DROP BEAR ROARING)
Come on.
(DROP BEAR ROARING)
(STABBING)
(DROP BEAR WHIMPERING)
(GRUNTING)
Oh yes, oh yes.
(THUNDER STRIKING)
(BUSY PARTY CHATTER, MUSIC PLAYING)
(FEMALE VOICE)
Yo, Charlie, what's up?
Oh, hey, Jessie, listen.
-Yeah, listen
this is a really bad time right now, I'm kinda in the middle
of something.
What? No, no, no, Jessie, Jessie listen, I need your help.
I can't really talk right now, so-
-I'm in Berribrook. I need you to get here as soon as you
can.
Wait, Berribrook?
-Yeah, yeah, I'm at a campground.
Why? What are you doing in Berribrook?
-Why?
Yeah, why? What is it?
What is it?
-Yeah, what is the problem?
Stuff.
-Stuff?
Stuff.
-What stuff?
Things!
-What are you talking about?
Alright, alright, okay, okay, umm
Stacey and I
we were attacked.
-Wait, are you serious?
Yes, yes, I'll explain everything when you get here.
I just need you to get here as soon as you can, okay?
What, like, right now?
Yes, yes, I don't have much time, they're looking for me,
please!
Listen I can't go right now, okay? I'm sorry.
I'm at my office's Christmas party and-
(GIGGLING)
Don't! Stop!
So yeah, this is really bad time-
-Stacey's dead. She didn't make it.
Stacey, Jess, Stacey! You're best friend, she's dead!
What are you talking about?
I can't tell you, because if I tell you
you're gonna think that I'm making this up or I'm completely
insane, or.
Charlie, I'm not going anywhere unless you tell me what's
going on, okay?
Alright, I'll tell you, but if I tell you you're going to
have to promise that you believe me
that you're not going to think that I'm making this up or
anything, promise me.
Okay, I promise.
Okay, I wasn't there when it happened but
Stacey was attacked and I ran into a vlogger, okay?
And he said that he saw the same creature attack his
girlfriend.
He said, the creature was.
Yes?
He said it was a-
-Yes?
(DROP BEAR ROARING)
(THUNDER STRIKING)
(DROP BEAR SNIFFING AND GROWLING)
(DROP BEAR SCAMPERING AWAY)
(THUNDER STRIKING)
(WIND BLOWING)
It's a drop bear.
-A what?
A drop bear.
(THUNDER STRIKING)
Charlie, listen-
No, no, no! Listen, alright?
I know what this sounds like, okay?
But this is not a joke. I repeat, not a joke.
I mean, look, it is
but it's real, very real.
It took Stacey.
Are you telling me a drop bear killed Stacey?
-Yes.
Look, I know what this sounds like, okay?
But it's real and I need your help, please.
If they're so real then how am I only hearing about this
now?
Because there's a massive conspiracy, Jess, alright?
The park knows they have a drop bear problem they just don't
want to do anything about it
because there's too much money involved.
So drop bears are real but they're keeping it a secret
because, tourism reasons?
-Yes?
Charlie, I'm pretty sure they send out search and rescues
for missing people at Berribrook
why would they rescue people if they don't want the truth
getting out?
Because they're not rescuing anyone, okay?
Look if someone goes missing in the park
then they send in a cleanup crew to comb the area for
evidence
and if they find anything, whether that's
cameras, videos or people
then they dispose of it
they make sure none of it makes its way out of the park.
Like I said, it's a conspiracy.
So what do you want me to do?
Just get here as soon as you can, okay?
I don't know who else to call.
It's not up to me, okay?
Alright, I'm going to contact the police
and see if they can-
-No, no, no!
Do not contact any authorities, okay?
We don't know how deep this rabbit hole goes.
Alright. There's this guy I know
he might be able to help you.
Who?
-A guy I know.
Used to be flatmates, he lives close by the park.
Alright.
Just don't tell him anything about the drop bear, okay?
Don't tell anyone anything they don't need to know.
Hey Charlie, which campground?
It's the one by the main road, I think.
Military contracts?
Cloning. Cloning?
Scientific experimentation?
Jess, I think we just hit the jackpot!
(THUNDER STRIKING)
Okay, he says he'll be there in about an hour.
Charlie?
Bad news. I think I just saw someone, a figure by the edge
of the forest.
Tell your friend to get here as soon as he can, okay?
And make sure he puts some Vegemite behind his ears.
Charlie, don't take this the wrong way-
-Just trust me, okay?
I still have some serious questions.
Like, how has this drop bear stayed a secret for so long?
Like I said, Jess, it's a conspiracy
the park know about the drop bear problem
they just, they don't want to do anything about it
and they make sure nobody who knows the truth
makes it out of here.
But what happens to the people they find?
I don't know, but it's probably not good.
This drop bear
people can't be the only thing it's eating yeah? So what
else does it eat?
I don't know
it's a national park so
kangaroos, possums, that kind of thing.
Charlie, that's nowhere near enough
to feed an animal of that size.
Maybe they're omnivores.
Okay but, why would a creature
evolve to ambush its prey from treetops, anyway?
Why would it need to climb trees and drop down on its prey
to hunt?
I don't know maybe it's some kind of evolutionary advantage?
The only reason an animal would ever evolve to hunt that way
would be if its main food source was some kind of tall
biped.
What did you say?
I said a creature that ambushes its prey from treetops
would only make sense if it was the natural predator
of something like a giant, tall biped.
(ANIMAL ROARING)
Charlie?
Charlie?
(YOWIE ROARING)
JESS: Hello?
(WHITE NOISE)