Fuzz (1972) Movie Script
What'd she 53v?
Hi, Bruce. How are you?
0k, ok, so you
can't read English.
Ican't get through
to him at all.
Can you call a friend?
Here's a st of
your rights in Spanish.
Ma'am, miss, miss,
can I help you?
Those are your rights.
Comprendes?
No read espanol.
Look, is Gomez in the building?
Idoh't khow, sarge.
Will you go find him
and get him to talk to this guy?
Yes, miss, can I help vou?
U m, detective pa rke r.
Is he expecting vou? Yes.
Your name?
0h. Eileen McHenry.
Gomez! Gomez?
Hablos espanol, senorita?
Gomez!
No, I'm sorry.
The lihe's busy.
Will you have a seat?
0k.
Gomez?
14 muggihgs, 3 rapes,
a knifing on water street,
and 6 assorted burglaries.
Who needs you guys?
This squad room needs us guys.
This squad room
is dihgy and grimy.
You're screwing up
the whole joint.
We won't be able
to find anything
till a week after you're gone.
We do a thorough iob.
Yeah. We didn't
ask to come here.
You think we got
nothin' better to do
than smear around here all day?
Yeah, you think this
is an interesting
iob or something?
It's a boring job.
Everything is apple greeh.
Ha. You think
that's interesting?
The ceiling is apple greeh,
them stairways is apple greeh,
ho, ho! Oh, that's some
interesting job all right.
Yeah, last month,
we were at faneuil hall.
That was an interesting iob.
What?
Faneuil hall?
That was the best
iob we ever had.
Every one of them markets.
You know them markets in there.
Every one of them markets
was a different color.
That was a good iob.
Yeah. This is a crappy iob.
It's crappy, and it's boring.
Siobs.
How's that?
Nothing.
What department you
guys from anyway?
Public works.
Maintenance...
Ahd repair.
Hey! Where's my lawyer?
Another county heard from...
You said he was on his way.
He is on his way. Shut up!
Why don't you guys
paint this place
in June instead of November
when all the windows are closed?
What's the matter?
You're stinking up the joint.
That's what's the matter.
It stunk in here
even before we got here.
I'll tell you guys one thing,
you'd never make it
in the sistine chapel.
Son of a bitch!
87th squad. Detective meyer.
Parks commissioner
Cooper will be killed
unless I receive $5,000
before noon tomorrow.
More later.
What?
Hi, Willis, what's
with our friend?
I stopped for some
coffee on my way home.
I'm standing at the counter
waiting to pay my check,
and I feel somebody's
hand in my back pocket.
Guess who it is.
Who?
It's Lewis here.
I don't understand you.
Best damn pickpocket
in the precinct,
and he chooses a cop for a Mark.
So you had your back to me.
So I made a mistake.
What do you want?
Oh, man. You made a big mistake.
Hey, it ain't
that funny, you know.
I think it's funny.
To me, it's funny.
Hi. How are ya?
You don't need this.
Copy it from the last one.
So what in hell were you doing
at the back door
of that supermarket?
I was...
Yeah?
Yeah, what?
What's your answer?
| forgot the question.
Yeah, so did I.
What were you doing
at the back of...
Miss mchenrv. Yes.
Parker will be right with you.
Thank you.
I know, I know.
What do you think, Steve?
Hell, I don't know.
He ask for anybody
in particular?
No. He just started talking
the minute I told him it was me.
Well, maybe it's a crank.
Could be, but I don't know.
I don't know.
I really don't.
Why pick on us?
Well, the first time you don't
pay any attention
to these goddamn things,
that's when something happens.
You really worried about it?
Look, I admit it
sounds like a crank,
but it scared
the hell out of me.
Well...
I'm getting out of here.
I'll call commissioner Cooper
as soon as I get home.
Anybody wants me,
that's where I'll be.
Good. Who's relieving?
Uh...
Kling... kling and brown.
Yeah, well,
have them check with me
as soon as they get in.
I hope it's a crank.
So do I.
What the hell
are you supposed to be?
What the hell do you
think I'm supposed to be?
I'm supposed to be a bum.
Why?
Because they're setting
fire to bums downtown.
Ifigured I'd
dress up like a bum...
Anybody want coffee?
No, we don't want
any of your coffee.
What the hell
are you supposed to be?
A bum, you scthck.
There's such a thing as carrying
an impersonation too damn far.
Want a cup of coffee?
No, no. I'm not gonna
go around with you
in those filthy clothes.
Are you kidding?
Did you call your wife?
No, why?
'Cause you haven't
called her in over an hour,
and if you don't call her,
she doesn't feed ya.
Oh, come on. Uhh.
You're married to a yenta.
Don't remind me.
Mm-hmm.
Those are filthy clothes.
Ho ho ho!
Filthy. They're really...
I've seen dirty clothes.
That's it.
Good night, sweetheart.
See you later, Bert.
Yeah, bye.
Look at these prints there.
This woman's got prints
like an armadillo.
No wonder she's a bickbocket.
Ever see any prints
like that before?
87th squad. Kling here.
You've undoubtedly
decided by now
that I'm a crank.
Look at that. Huh.
I am not.
Who is this?
I was quite serious
about what I promised.
Parks commissioner
Cooper will be killed
unless I receive $5,000
by noon tomorrow.
This is how I want it.
Have you got a pencil?
Mister, why'd you bick on us?
Because you're inept.
What?
Pencil ready?
Uh, yeah, yeah. Go ahead.
I want the money in 55 and 105.
Need I mention,
they must not be marked?
Mister, do you know
what extortion is?
I know what it is.
Don't try keeping me
on the line.
I plan to hang up long before
you can effect a trace.
Do you know the penalty
for extortion, sir?
Well, what does he care?
He hung up.
But he'll call back.
If there's one thing
I know about kooks
is that they always call back,
and this time we'll
be ready for him.
Provided it's a nice long call,
and provided he doesn't go
through your mother-in-law.
Why don't we give it
the old college try, huh?
Hey, iook, we've got
some ding-a-ling
who's calling on 3, so put
him through the system...
Hey, what was it
he said we were?
The dude said we were inept.
Ha ha ha.
Yeah, that's
what I thought he said.
Thanks for holding this.
Oh! Oh, god. This night work
is just killing my poor back.
Hey, you know what I'll tell you
about some guys like that?
Every time they do
this kind of strike...
I saw it outside Detroit
in a movie one time.
Who knows what he's doing now.
Hey, you guys. Uh...
Bert, meet Eileen McHenry.
Artie brown, Bert kling.
Hello. Hi.
Just showing her
around the place.
My desk right there,
you can use the one
right behind it, ok?
0h, good. Thanks.
Uh, I'll just take off my coat.
Can I hang it here?
May I help you with your coat?
Watch out you don't
get paint all over you.
The place is really a mess.
Anyway, Eileen's up here
on special assignment.
She's a decoy for my rapist.
The rapist?
Yeah, frankly I was
hoping they'd send me
somebody a little bigger
than you, but, uh... ahem.
I'm 5'8".
No, no. I mean,
you know, huskier.
She's plenty husky,
Andy. What the hell?
You're gonna have to be careful,
'cause the guy's no cream buff.
The last woman that he attacked
is still in the hospital
with a broken jaw.
Interrogation room.
Locker room's down there.
What time do you
want me to sta rt?
On, who the hell knows?
I don't know.
I think maybe you
ought to let him see you
around the neighborhood.
What do you think?
Yeah, maybe.
0k. There's a cafeteria
over on tremont.
Why don't you drop by
there about 6:00
and have a bite, and then, uh,
take a stroll for about an hour
before you go to the park, ok?
He'll think I'm a hooker.
No, he won't think that.
Communication's
over in that area.
Ok, we're all set, Bert.
Are you sure about that?
I'm sure. You ought to see
some of the miserable hookers
we got around here.
Oh, well, it was nice to meet...
Is he a suspect?
Yeah, he should be.
Lovely.
87th squad. Kling.
The penalty for extortion
is imprisonment
not exceeding 15 years.
Any other questions?
Yeah. What do you mean
we're inept?
I want $5,000 in 55 and 105.
I want them put
into a metal lunch pail.
I want the pail taken
to the cops hill cemetery
and placed on the footpath...
We didn't expect him
to call back so soon.
You want $5,000 placed
in the cemetery, right?
Before noon tomorrow.
There are more than 2 of us,
so don't attempt to arrest
the man who picks up the pail,
or the commissioner
will be killed.
If the pail is empty,
the plan to kill
the commissioner
will go into effect.
If you have any more
questions, ask them now.
You don't really
expect us to put $5,000
on a silver platter,
do you, really?
No. In a lunch pail.
Yeah.
Uh, is there any way
we can reach you?
You'll have to speak louder.
I'm a little hard of hearing.
I said is...
He gone.
Lost him. Damn it.
Yeah, hi, miss... miss Sullivan?
Were you able to get anything?
Oh, gosh.
That's what I figured,
miss Sullivan.
Thank you, anyway.
You're fired.
There he is.
Wake up, bum!
Kids.
Aah! Aah! Aah!
God! Aah!
Ah, jeez. Unh!
This is...
Carellal
s-send the...
Meat wagon! Uhh!
Ok, now, Gomez.
You know what you're
supposed to do, right?
Yes, sir, I do.
Knock off the "sir" crap.
Put it on the footpath
by the water pump
in cops hill cemetery.
Just put it there
and get out, ok?
Yes, sir. Yes, Mike.
Good, good, good, good.
Good.
You know, if it rings,
I'll answer it.
But what do you mean they're
putting garbage in your car?
Well, every morning,
garbage in the front
seat of the car, you know?
You don't mind, do you?
Coffee grounds, potato peels...
Moldy fruit,
and it's just
such a mess to clean up.
When it gets on the floor,
you get your feet in it,
and you walk around,
you know, with... slipping...
With it on your heels,
and it's just the worst mess,
all chewed up bones...
As though they had a dog
or something like that.
And one day, it looked as though
somebody had blown their nose
in old pieces of toilet paper
and wet cigarette butts
and things like that,
and it's really disgusting.
You can't find
that kind of thing
in your car seat every morning
and live through it.
My stomach turns.
I really threw up several times,
but not in the front seat
of the car, you know?
I went inside.
I at least had
the decency to do that,
but I thought that maybe
if you put a...
Somebody walking the beat there,
they might find who was
doing it and, you know,
tell 'em to stop.
We'll do what we can.
Well, I wish you would,
because there really isn't
a thing that's worth picking up,
you know, on the front seat
that you would want
to take into the house
and use the next day.
I make my own lunch
when I go to work.
Excuse me.
You want to grab that end,
fella, and help us?
Yeah, lend a hand.
What's going on?
We need to get this...
All right. Help 'em, help 'em.
The sooner we get it up,
the sooner we get out of here.
That-a-boy.
All right, all right. Come here.
Let's go to work. Come on!
Let's get something done here.
How are things going down there?
Well, we're freezing
our asses off.
Any action yet?
Yeah. Gomez dropped his pail.
And will you ask him
why we had to be out here
at 5:00 in the morning
when the damn pail
wasn't gonna be delivered
until 10:00?
Did you get that?
I heard, I heard.
Look, the lieutenant
wanted you out there
before anybody else
got out there.
Follow and contain,
those are the orders, 0k?
The lieutenant ought to try
bringing his own sweet
bippy out here sometimes.
It's cold out this early.
Hold it.
No, nothing.
Just a kid looked the pail over
and left it right where it was.
All right. Stick with it.
What do you got going,
a stakeout?
Shut up.
On, big deal, stakeout.
You know, we painted
the d.A.'S office once.
This isn't such
a big deal, you know.
Cra zy, cra zy.
They was questioning a kid
who stabbed his mother
with an ice pick.
That's interesting,
'cause that number
matches this number.
Oh, yeah. You already
got my number.
What do you want this for?
Yeah, well,
this car is parked...
Double-parked
in front of the precinct.
Right in front of the station.
Yeah, that's where
I parked this morning.
What'd you do that for?
Because the lot was full,
and the last time
I parked in the lot,
somebody stole my car.
It was very stupid.
Take care of it. Get that.
Yeah, what are my rape suspects?
Biood, negative.
Semen, negative.
Uh, hold on a minute, please.
That's a lady...
Said that there's a guy
pushing a car in front
of her apartment,
and he's weaving,
like he's drunk.
Can we get him on
a drunk driving charge,
you think?
Drunk pushing...
Make it a drunk pushing.
Ok, you want to send out
an apb on a drunk...
Hey, come on, come on, come on.
Public drunkenness,
are you crazy?
That's not a...
47 times.
With an ice pick...
In the head, in the chest,
in the belly.
Uh-huh. Everyplace.
Yeah, he said he done it
to save her from the martians.
There's no such thing
as drunk pushing?
No.
Public drunkenness.
We'll get him
on public drunkenness.
Public drunk...
We want to send out an apb.
Public drunkenness.
I should've wrote
that number down.
Ha. Uh...
905, uh, I think it's 45th.
Send a car around 45th street.
Anywhere along there is fine.
Yeah.
How can that save him
from the martians?
Well, maybe ma rtia ns
don't like ladies
with ice pick holes.
Huh?
Oh. Ha ha ha!
Yes, every morning.
Well, who would want to
put garbage in your car?
Have you got any enemies?
No. I'm loved
and respected everywhere.
Pardon me. Excuse me.
Yeah, ok. Could you hold on?
A lady being molested.
She's on hold.
What should I tell her?
Hey there.
Hey, who's there?
We got him. Made contact.
Follow and contain.
What the hell was all of that?
Let's see where
he takes that lunch pail.
Suppose he's
in this thing alone?
The guy on the phone
said there were
more than 2 of them.
Mm-hmm. But he could
have been lying.
Well, let's find out.
Wonder how he's gonna
like what's in that pail.
Surprise.
Hey, this guy might be
up there for hours, Bert.
Thank you.
It's gonna be all right.
Come on.
Tomo rrow.
Maybe tomorrow.
They gotta make
some more tests on me...
Observations on my head.
I landed on my head.
The dummy landed on his head.
Ha ha ha ha!
They want to find out
if I have a concussion.
I don't have a concussion.
See? Don't have a concussion.
What'd you tell the kids?
I've gone away? Where?
Miami beach?
Why Miami beach?
So you could tell 'em
I got sun burned?
Ow! Oh!
Ah.
Come here.
You'll never know, baby.
You'll never know.
Thanks, man.
Yeah, that's 6 bits you owe me.
You think his contact
is in the pool hall?
Yeah, could be,
which means he's already
reported the empty lunch pail.
In that case, I'm certainly glad
I'm not the parks commissioner.
There he is.
Hang tight with him, huh?
This stuff's like mud.
See you later, man.
Sure do work a long day.
Yep, busy fellow...
Very, very busy.
He's the kind of dude that meets
lots and lots of people.
Yeah. He could have
passed the word
a hundred times.
Right.
You'd better call
the lieutenant,
make sure he's got
lots of men watching
parks commissioner Cooper, huh?
Yeah.
I'll thrill myself
watching this guy go to sleep.
You're gonna be all right here?
Yeah.
Ok, I'll duff off.
Commissioner Cooper,
I think I'll have 2 of my men
riding home with you
in a second car.
Is that all right? Fine.
Did you see who was
sitting in the front pew?
It was really very funny.
No! Aah!
No! No! Are you all right?
Byrnes.
Byrnes, this is
commissioner Nelson.
What the hell is this
about you knowing
that Cooper
was going to be shot?
Well, sir...
We received several
threatening telephone calls
from an unidentified man
on Monday afternoon, sir...
Which calls
I personally discussed
with commissioner Cooper
on Monday night.
Have you found the location yet?
What location, sir?
The location from which
the shot was fired
that killed parks
commissioner Cooper.
Sir, St. pius
is not in my precinct.
As I'm sure
the commissioner realizes,
a homicide is investigated
by the detectives
assigned to the precinct
in which the homicide
was committed.
Now, that's the way
we do it in this city, sir.
Perhaps they did it
differently in Philadelphia
where you came from, sir.
They never killed
a parks commissioner
in Philadelphia where
I came from, byrnes.
Now, may I suggest
that you get a few
of your people
off their asses
and over to that area
and find that location, byrnes?
And report back to me.
Yes, sir. As soon as we...
They shot the wrong
damn commissioner.
You're getting
a little static, huh?
You're getting your ass
chewed out, huh?
Why don't you guys go home?
But we ain't finished yet.
We can't leave
until we're finished,
and that won't be until Friday.
You know, we don't work
for the police department,
you know.
We work for the department
of public works.
Maintenance...
And repair.
Yeah, well, you're
dripping paint
all over my glasses.
Hey, meyer!
Hee hee hee hee.
Hey, kling, will you get...
Willis!
Hey, Willis!
Where the hell is everybody?
Anybody, hey!
What are all these lights
doing on around here?
What are we, partners
with the electric company?
Hey, guys!
Detective McHenry...
Of special assignment.
Look out for the wet paint.
Well...
This goddamn place
is driving me crazy.
Look, there's a guy bleeding
on the goddamn sidewalk,
and I called in 20 minutes
ago for a meat wagon.
So, what are you doing
up there, playing pinochle?
Yeah, well, make sure
you do it in a hurry.
What do you want, kid?
You the desk sergeant?
Yeah. Yeah,
I'm the desk sergeant.
I'm supposed to give you this.
Oh, thanks.
Uh, hold it there a second, kid.
What's the matter?
Hold it right there a second.
Hey, where did you get these?
A guy gave it to me.
What guy?
A guy outside.
Outside where?
Near the train station there,
across the street.
You know the guy?
No. He gave me 5 bucks
to bring it over here.
What'd he look like?
A bald-headed guy
with a thing in his ear.
A thing in his ear?
What kind of a thing in his ear?
Like he was deaf.
Like a hearing aid?
Yeah, a thing in his ear.
The guy had a thing in his ear.
Ok.
You can go home, son.
Chief, you got that note?
I'd like to take a look at it.
Yeah, I got it here some place.
Well, one good thing.
What's that?
You're the only man
in this precinct
who isn't getting
his goddamn fingerprints
all over them.
What do you think?
I think he's gonna do it.
He's a maniac.
Does he really expect
a deputy mayor to pay him?
Of course he does.
He killed Cooper, didn't he?
He'll shoot scanlon, too,
as soon as he gets the loot.
Wait a minute.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Where does it say shoot?
It says right there...
It doesn't say "shoot scanlon",
it says, "scanlon goes next."
All right, goes. Does that mean
sticks a shiv in his stomach
and cuts him open?
He's gonna be dead, isn't he?
Puts an ice pick
in his ears or something?
Please.
Hey...
Why don't we call scanlon up
and see if he's got
$50,000 lying around
he doesn't need, huh?
Look, I'll call scanlon.
You get over to St. pius.
Don't like that, huh?
Anything on Mr. Lunch pail?
Name on the mailbox
says Anthony ia bresca.
Super of the building says
he lives there alone
with his mother.
No criminal record.
The lieutenant wants
a 24-hour tap on his phone.
And who's he putting on the tap?
Guess who?
Damn. That's what I figured.
Jeez. It's cold out there.
How's it going, Jack?
Oh, that's it, Artie.
You got one phone
in the house here,
and we're hooked into it solid.
You'll be able to catch
anything going in or going out.
Ok.
I'm glad they picked you
for this job.
I'm not.
You know, you get some
of those klutzes over there.
They don't know how
to handle equipment.
They, uh, mess everything up.
Yeah.
Oh, Artie. Yeah.
I meant what I said, Artie.
You're the best man for the job,
and I ain'tjust saying that
'cause you're a nigger.
Oh, ho, ho. Hold it, cousin.
Let me whip something on.
Let me straighten your
act out a little taste.
Now, I don't want
too many white folks
to know this, because
they get scared, you see,
but the last dude
that had the audacity
to call me a nigger, I...
Man. Ha ha. These people,
I'm telling ya.
Oh, uh, let's see.
I turn this on and...
Hello?
Concetta.
What'd she say?
She called me.
She didn't call you.
She sure did. What'd she say?
She said you're weird.
She said I'm weird?
Mm-hmm. I'm weird?
That's the first time
lever had a chick
ask me to get down
and bark like a dog.
Well, did you?
Yeah, I did.
And?
Her German Shepherd
jumped on top of me.
I had to run out of the house.
I couldn't get back
in the house.
I had to go home.
My old lady said,
"I thought you were
going to be home at 10:00."
I said the game broke up early.
Yeah, right, lew.
The apartment was rented
to a bald-headed guy
with a hearing aid 3 days ago.
Third floor, front, perfect
spot to watch the commissioner.
Yeah.
The landlady says
he paid cash in advance,
gave his name as sordo.
S-o-r-d-o. No first name,
just the initial 'i...
Yeah.
All right. Yeah.
Well, I'm checking
the phone books right now.
Ok.
Who's handling the case
where these bums
are getting set on fire?
Carella. He's not here. Why?
Just found one in the doorway.
He'd been laying there
since last night sometime.
Is he alive?
Just barely.
Hospital gives him
a 60-40 chance.
Yeah, well, I'll tell him.
You'll tell him? Yeah.
Thanks.
How do you spell surveillance?
2 is.
87th squad. Detective meyer.
Hi, Sarah. What's the matter?
Oh! God damn... I'm sorry.
Yeah, I forgot all about it.
Look, I'll call him right away.
I'll get back to you. All right.
Steve levine was just in,
said you got another customer
in the hospital.
Yeah, he told me. Thanks.
You ok? How's your hands?
Screwing up my sex life.
Ha ha ha. Ow.
Hello, abramowitz catering?
Detective meyer, 87th squad.
Look, you did it again.
The knishes... dry, crumbled.
Well, how many times?
I want credit. I...
Look, I'll get
right back to you.
Hi, Sadie. How are you?
Good to see ya. Come on in.
I think we can get it
over with right now.
We're gonna settle
the whole thing
once and for all.
He came back again last night.
I'm not handling that case
anymore, my dear.
Detective McHenry
handles it now, Sadie.
Who?
Look, Eileen...
I think we got the first
big break in your case,
but you're gonna
have to handle it alone.
Sadie, this is detective
Eileen McHenry.
Her name's Sadie.
Hello, Sadie.
How do you do?
Do you have some information
you'd like to give us?
Yes.
He came back again last night.
Who?
The rape artist.
Oh, well, just a second here.
Do you have a description
you can give me?
He's a tall swarthy man.
Tall... swarthy.
Wears this long black cape.
Cape? Yes.
Over a tuxedo
with a white dress shirt
and a black bow tie...
And these black satin
dancing slippers,
and he's got buttons
on his fly...
5 buttons.
I see.
So he likes to unbutton
his fly very slowly,
one button at a time,
and he warns me not to scream,
because he's not gonna hurt me.
All he wants to do is screw me.
Yeah. Screw you.
Ha ha ha ha!
He looks like such a gentleman,
so naturally, I never scream
until he gets the last
button unbuttoned.
That's when he
takes out his thing.
So, naturally,
that's when I scream.
Ha ha ha ha!
Well, Sadie,
I can promise you
that we're going to do
everything in our power
to bring this man to justice.
As a matter of fact,
we might even
enlist the services
of detective carella...
And detective meyers.
I'm sure that they'd
be willing to help.
I'm sure they'd be glad
to come by personally...
To see that nothing
happens to you.
Isn't that right, boys?
What do you say? Steve?
Smart ass.
Smart...
Would you like a cup of coffee?
No, I wouldn't like
a cup of coffee.
Why not?
I don't like the coffee
they have around here.
Oh, it's not that bad.
It stinks.
Well, we could go out
for a cup of coffee
if you like.
Would you move your ass?
Ok.
Why do they do it to me?
They're just kidding.
Well, I take this case
very seriously.
They know that.
Would you like to go for coffee?
Would you?
Yeah.
I would.
Listen, you want a Jeep?
A Jeep? I don't
want a Jeep. What for?
I got a friend.
He gets a hundred
people together.
You can get surplus army
jeeps for $4.73 each.
I'm not interested.
That's like
the portable sand dune.
I don't need any
of that shit, really.
It comes in a box,
no, no. You put it together.
You get a brand-new
no, no, no. Never been used.
Yeah, right, right.
What do you want?
Hello, Tony?
Yeah?
Tony ia bresca?
Get out of here, you creep.
Eating my dinner.
What's up, dom?
Tony, uh, I was wondering
if you could lend me some bread
till I get organized here.
You've never been
organized in your life.
Tony... I know.
What do you know?
About the caper.
What caper?
Tony, don't let me say it
on the phone, huh?
You never know who's
listening these days.
Right on.
What you want, dom?
Come on. Spit it out.
Not on the phone.
Meet me outside Sammy's tonight.
You ever play here before?
Nope.
They call me tiny.
Hello, tiny.
You missed.
Yeah, I missed.
You a hustler?
No.
We break hustler's arms...
And throw them down the stairs.
Just the arms
or the whole hustler?
I got no sense of humor.
Neither have I,
so buzz off, will ya?
I mean, you're ruining
my game, all right?
8 ball in the side.
You missed.
What's that in your belt there?
You work on the docks?
Yeah, I work on the docks.
Excuse me.
You want company?
Now, how do I know
you're not a hustler?
Hi, tiny.
Hey, hi, man.
How's it going?
So-so. Far out.
This is Marty rosen here.
Hi, Marty. Nice to meet you.
Same here.
He's Tony ia bresca.
Shoots a pretty good game.
Marty here shoots the way
Angelo used to shoot.
You remember Angelo...
The cripple.
Oh, yeah.
Angelo the...
Yeah, Angie the creep.
Yeah! Ha ha! Yeah.
Seen Pete around?
Yeah. Over by the windows.
I'll see you guys.
Uh...
Who's Pete?
Schroeder.
Friend of Tony's?
Yeah.
See you later, tiny.
Yeah, man.
Hey, tiny, I'm sorry.
My wife's gonna kill me.
I gotta split.
Yeah, sure.
It was like playing
without you anyway.
Sir, sir. Excuse me
a minute, sir.
Get out of here!
Get out of here!
Would you mind making
just a small contribution
maybe to help me
get me back to my family?
Get out of my way!
Damn. Damn it!
Hey, carella, is meyer in yet?
No, sir. He's not here yet.
Well, send his ass
into my office
as soon as he gets in.
Yes, sir.
Oh, yeah, carella.
Yo.
This guy just shot
his own brother.
Nothin', nothin'.
Willis just booked him
downstairs.
I think he's halfway to
Italy right now on a boat.
Halfway to Italy on a boat.
What the hell makes
you think he's Italian?
Because anything ending in
"o" is Italian, you dummy.
Shot his own brother, kling.
What about Yamamoto?
Yama...
Used a shotgun on him.
The guy had no face left at all.
I don't understand this place.
I just don't understand.
Sordo is Italian.
Sordo, sordo. It's Italian.
Sordo? Sordo, yes.
What makes you think
it's Italian?
In Spanish, sordo means deaf.
Deaf?
What, I say something?
El sordo.
2 days we've been
spending on a phony name.
And all it means is
the goddamn deaf man.
I'm freezing my balls off.
The son of a bitch
didn't have to
bawl me out that way.
He was pissed off at you.
He had a right to be pissed off.
You lost your man
last night, didn't you?
Well, you think
I'm not pissed off?
Listen, I've been
a cop for 13 years.
And I've never
blown a surveillance
in all that time, god damn it.
Unh!
Your crucifix is crooked.
What? It's crooked.
The crucifix.
Mmm. Heh heh heh.
Is this normal
stakeout procedure?
Yeah, it's real normal.
I meant... I meant
the sleeping bag.
Yes, that's my idea.
Oh! What's that?
Oh, uh, it's just my gun.
What's that?
That's a...
Baby carriage. Well...
Just a baby carriage,
that's all.
Yeah, but... um...
Needs a little oiling.
That's all.
Don't you think that...
We all need oiling.
Yeah, but, listen. Ah.
Ahh.
Yeah?
We shouldn't.-
Bert. What?
These are public gardens, Bert.
Yeah. Oh!
We aren't supposed to...
Oh!
It's nothin'. Just a kid.
I wish you'd...
Nice, quiet...
Bert.
Come in, Bert.
On, what's that?
Kid over there.
He's heading for the pail.
Jesus, not now. Uhh.
He's walking toward Bert.
That's right.
He's going toward Bert.
He's not coming here.
Get Bert on the phone.
Here we go. Ok.
Get him on. Get him on. Come on.
Bert. Bert.
Get the zipper down.
Well, all right!
Are you there, Bert?
Can you hear me?
Get that... where is it?
Get the radio.
Oh! Would you wait a minute?
Goddamn thing.
I don't know if it's there.
Whoo!
Did we get him?
Listen to this. Bert.
Where's the gun?
I'll call meyer.
Wait.
Where is it? Ha! Ho ho!
Shh! Shh! Shh!
What the hell is he doing?
Bert!
Oh, ho ho ho!
Who's in the car?
Charlie.
Charlie! Move in.
Meyer?
Where is it?
He's coming across the bridge.
Suspect moving
toward Parker and dog.
Kill.
Kill, Randolph!
Come on, kill,
you silly son of a bitch!
Goddamn foot!
Kill, Randolph!
Stop! Police!
Hold it!
Stop!
Stop! Police!
Stop!
Police! Damn it! Stop!
Stop. Police.
Ok, what's your name?
Alan parry.
Mmm.
Where do you live, Alan?
Right around the corner.
I know you guys.
I see you guys
around all the time.
Don't you know me?
You make him, Bert?
Steve?
I don't know who he is, chief.
So we gotta try
the mutt and Jeff routine.
Ok, I'm mutt this time.
Oh, no, no. Now, I'm desperate.
I gotta be mutt now.
God damn it. You're always Jeff.
I'm in enough trouble
with byrnes.
Please, for me, Steve.
Why do I always
have to be the heavy?
One time. Do it for me.
I gotta be mutt. Let me do it.
All right. All right?
Who asked you, Alan?
A bald guy wearing
a hearing aid.
Bald guy wearing a hearing aid.
We're tired of screwing
around with you now, kid.
Now, what was the guy's name
that you were going to meet?
I don't know his name.
Was it maybe Pete schroeder?
I'm telling you I don't know.
God damn it!
Will you stop lying to us?
All right! Cut it out!
I hate it when they lie.
Cut it out! Come on.
Keep it cooi.
There are other ways
of doing this, ok?
Now, come on, Alan.
Sit down here.
Come here. That-a-boy. Come on.
There.
Honest to god.
You can talk to me.
The guy gave me 5 bucks
to pick up the pail,
and that's all I know.
Right.
Now...
What do you think
was in the pail?
Lunch.
Lunch?
Lunch?
Huh? Yeah.Yeah.
Lunch? What do you think?
I'm not some fooi!
I'm not gonna tell you again.
Cut that out.
Come on, Alan.
Now, really.
What do you think
was really in that pail?
Grass.
I figured I could maybe
make a quick buck.
There's guys
in this neighborhood
who smoke the kind of stuff
that's in that pail.
But not you, huh, Alan?
I have never smoked
a joint in my life.
Is that right?
Open up that lunch pail.
No.
Oh, yeah, kid.
Open up the lunch pail.
Now open it up.
No. I don't want to.
Open it up! I don't want to!
Why not, Alan?
Why not, Alan?
'Cause if there's
pot in that pail,
I don't know nothin' about it.
You said before...
If I didn't want
to answer no questions,
I didn't have to. Right.
Ok, I don't want to
answer no more questions.
Look, Alan, I think
I proved it, right?
You can talk to me.
Go stick it in your hat.
Sorry.
Go on, Alan. Go home. Beat it.
I can go?
Get out of here.
What do you think, Steve?
I figure the deaf man knew
that there was nothin'
in the lunch pail
all along, chief,
and they figured that we'd
nail whoever picked it up.
That's what I think.
What do you think, Bert?
Yeah, I agree with Steve...
In which case he wants
to kill scanlon.
I think I'll call the d.A.
And have him put his own
men on this damn case.
Lieutenant remembers
your name by the work.
Ho ho ho! Hmm.
She doesn't mean to be mean.
She's in love.
Just in love.
Just in love. Ha ha ha ha!
Hey, did you have fun
in the sleeping bag?
Just doing my job.
Just doing a little plumbing.
Did you get your pipes cleaned?
A little plumbing?
A little plumbing?
Hey! Go to hell, sisters!
How do you feel
about all this, Steve?
About what?
Well, about the guy
maybe being deaf.
So what?
I mean because of Claudia...
You know it.
I never really thought about it.
You know, I've been married
12 years to Teddy, and, uh...
I never really think
about her being a...
A deaf mute.
I'm sorry, Steve.
I didn't mean to bring up...
No. That's all right.
Forget it.
I just never think about her...
That way.
Yeah, what is it?
Trying to find
the deputy mayor's car.
On, they already looked it over.
But did they check the clock?
They looked it over
from top to bottom.
Yeah, well, I'm supposed
to fix the clock.
On. There it is over there.
I went all the way over
to the municipal garage.
They told me they moved
the car over here.
What the hell's
going on, anyway?
Don't you read the papers?
For the funnies.
This one?
Electric ciock stopped.
Big catastrophe, right?
All right.
Which one of you little mothers
goes to the ciock?
Hey, buddy, you mind?
You're making me nervous.
Hey, schroeder.
Catching up on your reading?
Any trouble getting here?
No.
Sure you weren't followed?
Positive.
Why would anybody
want to follow me?
So, what's with dom?
He wants to split it 3 ways.
I don't want to cut him in.
You think I do?
If we don't play ball with him,
he's gonna scream for the cops.
Man, there's big money here.
Look, don't you
think I know that?
What are we gonna do with him?
We can kill him.
When are you gonna
meet him again?
Tomorrow morning.
Where?
Tony?
Where are you gonna meet him?
Oh, oh, um... copley square
near the church.
What do you want me to tell him?
You tell him that we're...
Give me a quarter, will you?
No.
Will you give me a quarter?
No.
Will you give me a quarter?!
Will you guys knock it off?
I can't see the action
with all that blabbing.
Oh, you're beautiful.
You're really beautiful.
You get anything?
Huh?
I said, did you get anything?
Yeah, um, 11:00 in the morning,
copley square.
Oh, what do you think?
Steve?
Steve.
Freak.
Oh, darling, would you keep
the notes to my speech?
I can't tell you gentlemen
how much I appreciate this.
Part of the job, Mr. Scanlon.
It's our pleasure, also.
He means the main thing
is to make sure that
nothing happens to you.
D.a.'s orders.
Excuse me, Mr. Scanlon.
What time are we due
at the synagogue?
Well, I'm due to speak at 9:00,
and I would like to be
there by a quarter of.
More than enough time, sir.
Ok.
"Rabbi horowitz
and ladies of the Hadassah,
it gives me great pleasure
to appear before you tonight..."
Are you sticking to the schedule
they announced
in the newspapers?
That's right.
It's the same speech
that I gave to the sons
of Ireland last month.
Heh heh heh.
You smile, lady.
"The city of Boston
definitely needs
all of the assistance that
it can get at this time."
Aah!
Hey, look.
Yeah.
That's the same car I lost
outside the pool hall...
With a blond girl driving it.
How'd she get in the act again?
Well, she's obviously
substituting for dom,
probably his girlfriend.
Think she'll know anything?
She must be in on it,
don't you think?
Snort meeting.
Let's hit her.
Hey, meyer, iook at this.
Your name dom, honey?
Yeah. What's yours?
Get 'em up there.
That's a girl?
What's your full name, dom?
Dominick americo di fillippi.
Listen, you got the wrong guy.
I'm a musician.
Yeah? What do you play?
The harp.
The harp, huh?
Yeah, blues harp...
Harmonica, man.
I play with the rotten onions.
Not really?
The rotten onions.
It's a group, man.
What's your connection
with Tony ia bresca?
He's a friend of mine.
Tell us what
about the caper. Caper?
The one with
Anthony ia bresca...
And that... come on!
Peter schroeder is planning.
I don't know. I never
heard of any schroeder.
Well, that sure is a lot
of money to forget.
You don't remember that, dom?
Well, that's called compounding.
Compounding?
Yeah.
Yeah, well, what do I get
for this compounding
or whatever the hell it is?
5 years.
It ain't worth it.
No, it ain't, dom.
Tell us what you know.
They're holding up
a liquor store.
A liquor store?
That's the big deal?
Yeah, that's the big deal.
Oh, Jesus.
It's nothin' to do with
the goddamn deaf man at all.
It had nothin' to do with him!
When are they hitting it?
Tonight.
Where?
Ahmad, is that you?
Yeah, buck, it's me.
You get them?
I got 'em.
I got 'em!
Did you have them tested?
Of course I had them tested.
Good. Got the whiskey, too.
Ahmad got the whiskey, sweetie.
I had to go to
to get them.
Can Ahmad fix us a drink?
Rochelle wants to know
if you want me to fix us...
I can hear you.
A drink.
Shall I?
Why don't you?
I think I'll have
a little more champagne.
Hell. This is
the part I can't get.
Plus, I'm bored.
What should I do?
What time is it, buck?
Uh...
It's a little past 4:00.
If I made a reservation
at Locke-ober for...
6:00, let's say...
Do you think you can get...
Dressed in time?
What's Locke-ober?
A very nice restaurant.
Yes, I could be dressed.
Marvelous empty-headed bitch.
I think she's dangerous
to have around here.
Oh the co ntra ry.
She calms the nerves
and relieves
the everyday tensions.
She hasn't got
the vaguest notion
of what we're up to.
Yeah, well, sometimes
I don't have the vaguest notion
of what we're up to, either.
That's really very simple, buck.
Not to me, it isn't.
To buck, only bombs are simple.
This is the last one.
Look, why don't we
call this Jefferson?
After our visit
to the mayor's mansion.
Now, here's Henry Jefferson...
Our unsuspecting target.
Henry Jefferson,
chairman of the board
of Jefferson industries incorporated,
loving husband to Margaret,
loving father
to Abigail and Louise.
Personal assets estimated
at close to $42 million.
Now, I don't think
he's going to mind parting
with a mere 500,000
of that, do you?
Suppose he calls the fuzz?
Well, if he does,
it will be too late.
And anyway, they still
don't know who we are...
And they never will.
But, my friend,
they're called fuzz
because their ways are fussy,
and their thinking is fuzzy.
They're inept and inadequate
in an age that demands
efficiency.
While mankind has already taken
its first enormous
steps on the moon,
the police are
still mired in mud,
like the hopeless pigs they are.
Ok, ok, come on,
let's break it up.
Break it up.
What do you propose to do
about this intolerable
situation?
We're working on it.
We're working on it.
You got anything for me?
Yeah.
I'm taking meyer out to dinner,
and then we're going
to the liquor store.
I like your friends, Bert.
How would you, sir,
like to be set on fire?
He already did. I already
tried that. Tried that.
I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to frighten you.
Can I walk with you?
Where you going?
You are very beautiful.
Thank you.
You're a beautiful slut...
And I want to touch you.
Please, I... I just want
to be your friend.
Ok.
See? I won't hurt you.
No. All right.
I won't hurt you. See?
Your purse.
Oh!
Aah!
Hold it...
Right there...
Unless you want me
to end your career.
Buck?
Just a few more
adjustments to make.
Everything connected?
Connected and
set to go off at 2:00.
Came out rather well,
don't you think?
Excellent.
Considering I was
working all night
and with a minox.
Now, here's the crucial map.
It's the composite feeder plate,
and it pinpoints
the manhole exactly.
The high voltage cables
passing under this manhole
provide the electricity
for the whole area substation
in which the mayor's
mansion is located.
Here.
The mansion is
completely electrified,
except for 2 gas lamps
at the main gate.
Speak to me, buck.
All set.
Let's get dressed.
There it is...
The mayor's mansion.
Ahmad, don't slow down.
Turn left at the corner
and keep going.
I'll tell you one thing.
If I ever need a cop,
remind me never to call one.
Well, so long for now.
See you in a couple of years.
I kind of think
you should see me
a little sooner than that. Ha!
Would you mind
stepping over here?
What's up, sarge?
Well, would you mind
lifting the tarp
upjust a little bit, please?
But there's paint in there.
Of course there's paint,
but it wouldn't be
paint spilled all over.
Bless my soul.
Now that...
Is a no-no.
"Oh," is right. Now...
I tell you, I have no idea...
I mean...
I don't understand.
It certainly is
hard to understand,
and it's hard to understand
how you going to
stay out of jail.
Happy birthday.
That ain't funny, Harry.
What's this?
It's all right.
I'm sergeant Pierce,
emergency service division.
These men are from
the electric company.
There's a leak
somewhere in the line.
They're trying to locate it.
Ok, sarge.
Better check over
this equipment.
I don't want any static
on it later.
Yeah. Good idea.
You want to open that up for me?
Ok?
What's that you're carrying?
It's a volt ohm meter.
Want to open it up for me?
Sure.
Ok, you can close it now.
Ok to go in?
Sure thing, sarge.
Hold it, fellas.
Sergeant Pierce,
emergency service division.
These men are from
the electric company,
here to check the power failure.
Yeah? What the hell happened?
A leak somewhere in the line.
Oh?
Where's the breaker box?
Right back here.
You want to show him?
Ok, come on.
All right, do what you gotta.
Find it?
No. It must be some place else.
18 guys in that squad,
and I got to get picked
to go on this dumb job.
Will you tell me that?
Why do I have to go along?
For the same reason
I had to go along...
Because the lieutenant
does not like meyer, Steve.
Right.
He likes me.
No, he doesn't, meyer.
You always get the dumb jobs.
You know that.
What does that say?
I should be working
on an extortion case
right now, meyer...
An extortion case.
I shouldn't be going to
some dumb liquor store
waiting for two two-bit
punks to show up.
Yeah. Why don't you
just admit it?
You had us tailing
the wrong man, meyer.
Who?
You, you.
Follow and contain...
Those are your orders.
Yes. Going after
the wrong man, meyer.
It was the lieutenant's fault.
Right.
You know why it was
the lieutenant's fault?
Because he doesn't like you.
That's right.
He likes me. He likes me.
Wait a minute.
I forgot the maps.
Now we'll put our proposition
to Mr. Jefferson.
When suddenly, out of nowhere,
this guy comes bombing
out of the gas station.
I know, I know,
but how many times
is it the other fella's fault?
Do you realize how many
times it's happened
this year alone?
I know, but this time,
it really isn't my fault.
I even have a witness.
I'll discuss it with you
after dinner.
Hello.
Mr. Jefferson?
Who is this?
The man who killed
commissioner Cooper
and deputy mayor scanlon.
What? What did you say?
I believe you heard me, sir.
Before morning,
another member of
the municipal government
will be killed. You will have...
Who is this? What do you want?
Mr. Jefferson,
I would advise you
to shut your mouth
and keep it shut
from this moment on.
You have until Monday afternoon
to raise $500,000
in small unmarked bills.
We will contact you then
with instructions
concerning delivery.
If you fail to accommodate us,
we'll first kill
your wife Margaret,
then your daughters
Abigail and Louise,
the same way we killed...
This is absurd.
Do you realize
who you're talking to?
I'm advising you beforehand
of a murder
yet to be committed...
A murder you'll read about
in your newspaper
tomorrow morning.
I will not show you
the same consideration
if you fail to raise the money,
and we are forced
to go after your family.
I'm contacting the police
the minute you get off the line.
Don't bother. You're too late.
Put the money in a small
valise, Mr. Jefferson.
You'll hear from us.
Abigail, you know better
than to say that.
Orthodontist.
I once read a book...
1,001 ways
to get out of the draft.
Done.
I want to stop and buy
a case of champagne.
I'm cold.
Yeah. You already
told me that 3 times.
Yeah, well, I'm still cold.
Hey.
Hey, iook, let's forget
the liquor stores, ok?
Come on, we'll try
down by the river.
Lots of bums sleep in those
empty boats down there.
Yeah, all right.
Ok, but only for, like,
a half an hour, ok, Jimmy?
Because I'm
really cold... really.
Hey.
Hey, you iook like
you're going to cry.
I'm just cold, that's all.
Ok, baby, ok, ok. Come on.
We'll find someone. We'll
make a nice warm fire, huh?
Now, remember,
no shooting unless that
old fart starts yelling,
you understand?
Right.
Now, we get there
just before he closes.
At quarter to 12:00.
Right.
Cut through the alley,
then we go in the back door.
See, that way, we surprise him.
Then we tie him up,
and we throw him
behind the counter.
Then we empty the cash
register and come back here.
Right.
Right.
Yeah.
Stick 'em up.
Hey.
What time is it?
5 minutes later than
the last time you asked me.
Oh, come on.
11:45. Oh, thank you.
You're welcome.
You know, there's
the smell of fortune
out there in that cash register.
There's $86.20, Steve.
It's got to be the biggest
caper of the century.
Better get ready, huh?
Sorry we don't have
a sleeping bag for you.
Ha ha ha ha!
Aw, hey, you're really kind
of cute, you know, Steve?
You ready?
Ready.
I'll need your help, buck.
I'd like a case of dom perignon.
It's the police!
It's the police!
Who the hell is that?
It's the police, god damn it!
What police? We're the police!
If this is your idea
of a joke, carella...
Get in there, guys.
Come on! Come on! Stop! Police!
Here! Come here!
Too... too late.
What? What are you
talking about?
A bomb.
C-C...
Wh...
Jesus, the mayor's mansion.
Murchison, this is kling
at the liquor store.
Stop, police!
Bullshit!
Who are we chasing?
I don't know!
God damn it!
Let me in on it!
Goddamn! Meyer!
He's got a bald head
and a hearing aid!
Impossible!
Damn it! He's got a bald head
and a thing in his ear!
Look.
Drunk as a pig.
Let's take him, baby.
Have a drink, bum!
No!
Hold it!
Stop it!
Waah!
Aah!
Aah!
Nothing, huh?
No, nothing.
Maybe the fire got him.
If the fire didn't get him,
the river sure as hell did.
Or the pollution. Yeah.
You know
what those 2 kids told me?
What?
They were just trying
to clean up the neighborhood.
Oh, Jesus!
Think they'll find
the body, Steve?
If they drag the river,
they'll find the body.
Boy, it's really
amazing, you know?
What's amazing?
Well, the deaf man,
the planting of the bomb
under the mayor's bed,
the way we tied
the whole thing up.
We tied it all together.
It's amazing we caught him
staked out in the back
of a liquor store
getting our ass shot off.
Garbage? What do you
mean, garbage?
We're garbage men.
This was based
on good, sound police work.
It was.
Sound police work?
I can't wait to see
the lieutenant's face
in the morning. Big headlines.
"87th precinct's
stunning destruction
of the deaf man."
Picture his face
when he sees that.
Ha.
Well, the important thing is,
we solved the crime.
Right?
Right.
The world will never know...
Never know.
Hi, Bruce. How are you?
0k, ok, so you
can't read English.
Ican't get through
to him at all.
Can you call a friend?
Here's a st of
your rights in Spanish.
Ma'am, miss, miss,
can I help you?
Those are your rights.
Comprendes?
No read espanol.
Look, is Gomez in the building?
Idoh't khow, sarge.
Will you go find him
and get him to talk to this guy?
Yes, miss, can I help vou?
U m, detective pa rke r.
Is he expecting vou? Yes.
Your name?
0h. Eileen McHenry.
Gomez! Gomez?
Hablos espanol, senorita?
Gomez!
No, I'm sorry.
The lihe's busy.
Will you have a seat?
0k.
Gomez?
14 muggihgs, 3 rapes,
a knifing on water street,
and 6 assorted burglaries.
Who needs you guys?
This squad room needs us guys.
This squad room
is dihgy and grimy.
You're screwing up
the whole joint.
We won't be able
to find anything
till a week after you're gone.
We do a thorough iob.
Yeah. We didn't
ask to come here.
You think we got
nothin' better to do
than smear around here all day?
Yeah, you think this
is an interesting
iob or something?
It's a boring job.
Everything is apple greeh.
Ha. You think
that's interesting?
The ceiling is apple greeh,
them stairways is apple greeh,
ho, ho! Oh, that's some
interesting job all right.
Yeah, last month,
we were at faneuil hall.
That was an interesting iob.
What?
Faneuil hall?
That was the best
iob we ever had.
Every one of them markets.
You know them markets in there.
Every one of them markets
was a different color.
That was a good iob.
Yeah. This is a crappy iob.
It's crappy, and it's boring.
Siobs.
How's that?
Nothing.
What department you
guys from anyway?
Public works.
Maintenance...
Ahd repair.
Hey! Where's my lawyer?
Another county heard from...
You said he was on his way.
He is on his way. Shut up!
Why don't you guys
paint this place
in June instead of November
when all the windows are closed?
What's the matter?
You're stinking up the joint.
That's what's the matter.
It stunk in here
even before we got here.
I'll tell you guys one thing,
you'd never make it
in the sistine chapel.
Son of a bitch!
87th squad. Detective meyer.
Parks commissioner
Cooper will be killed
unless I receive $5,000
before noon tomorrow.
More later.
What?
Hi, Willis, what's
with our friend?
I stopped for some
coffee on my way home.
I'm standing at the counter
waiting to pay my check,
and I feel somebody's
hand in my back pocket.
Guess who it is.
Who?
It's Lewis here.
I don't understand you.
Best damn pickpocket
in the precinct,
and he chooses a cop for a Mark.
So you had your back to me.
So I made a mistake.
What do you want?
Oh, man. You made a big mistake.
Hey, it ain't
that funny, you know.
I think it's funny.
To me, it's funny.
Hi. How are ya?
You don't need this.
Copy it from the last one.
So what in hell were you doing
at the back door
of that supermarket?
I was...
Yeah?
Yeah, what?
What's your answer?
| forgot the question.
Yeah, so did I.
What were you doing
at the back of...
Miss mchenrv. Yes.
Parker will be right with you.
Thank you.
I know, I know.
What do you think, Steve?
Hell, I don't know.
He ask for anybody
in particular?
No. He just started talking
the minute I told him it was me.
Well, maybe it's a crank.
Could be, but I don't know.
I don't know.
I really don't.
Why pick on us?
Well, the first time you don't
pay any attention
to these goddamn things,
that's when something happens.
You really worried about it?
Look, I admit it
sounds like a crank,
but it scared
the hell out of me.
Well...
I'm getting out of here.
I'll call commissioner Cooper
as soon as I get home.
Anybody wants me,
that's where I'll be.
Good. Who's relieving?
Uh...
Kling... kling and brown.
Yeah, well,
have them check with me
as soon as they get in.
I hope it's a crank.
So do I.
What the hell
are you supposed to be?
What the hell do you
think I'm supposed to be?
I'm supposed to be a bum.
Why?
Because they're setting
fire to bums downtown.
Ifigured I'd
dress up like a bum...
Anybody want coffee?
No, we don't want
any of your coffee.
What the hell
are you supposed to be?
A bum, you scthck.
There's such a thing as carrying
an impersonation too damn far.
Want a cup of coffee?
No, no. I'm not gonna
go around with you
in those filthy clothes.
Are you kidding?
Did you call your wife?
No, why?
'Cause you haven't
called her in over an hour,
and if you don't call her,
she doesn't feed ya.
Oh, come on. Uhh.
You're married to a yenta.
Don't remind me.
Mm-hmm.
Those are filthy clothes.
Ho ho ho!
Filthy. They're really...
I've seen dirty clothes.
That's it.
Good night, sweetheart.
See you later, Bert.
Yeah, bye.
Look at these prints there.
This woman's got prints
like an armadillo.
No wonder she's a bickbocket.
Ever see any prints
like that before?
87th squad. Kling here.
You've undoubtedly
decided by now
that I'm a crank.
Look at that. Huh.
I am not.
Who is this?
I was quite serious
about what I promised.
Parks commissioner
Cooper will be killed
unless I receive $5,000
by noon tomorrow.
This is how I want it.
Have you got a pencil?
Mister, why'd you bick on us?
Because you're inept.
What?
Pencil ready?
Uh, yeah, yeah. Go ahead.
I want the money in 55 and 105.
Need I mention,
they must not be marked?
Mister, do you know
what extortion is?
I know what it is.
Don't try keeping me
on the line.
I plan to hang up long before
you can effect a trace.
Do you know the penalty
for extortion, sir?
Well, what does he care?
He hung up.
But he'll call back.
If there's one thing
I know about kooks
is that they always call back,
and this time we'll
be ready for him.
Provided it's a nice long call,
and provided he doesn't go
through your mother-in-law.
Why don't we give it
the old college try, huh?
Hey, iook, we've got
some ding-a-ling
who's calling on 3, so put
him through the system...
Hey, what was it
he said we were?
The dude said we were inept.
Ha ha ha.
Yeah, that's
what I thought he said.
Thanks for holding this.
Oh! Oh, god. This night work
is just killing my poor back.
Hey, you know what I'll tell you
about some guys like that?
Every time they do
this kind of strike...
I saw it outside Detroit
in a movie one time.
Who knows what he's doing now.
Hey, you guys. Uh...
Bert, meet Eileen McHenry.
Artie brown, Bert kling.
Hello. Hi.
Just showing her
around the place.
My desk right there,
you can use the one
right behind it, ok?
0h, good. Thanks.
Uh, I'll just take off my coat.
Can I hang it here?
May I help you with your coat?
Watch out you don't
get paint all over you.
The place is really a mess.
Anyway, Eileen's up here
on special assignment.
She's a decoy for my rapist.
The rapist?
Yeah, frankly I was
hoping they'd send me
somebody a little bigger
than you, but, uh... ahem.
I'm 5'8".
No, no. I mean,
you know, huskier.
She's plenty husky,
Andy. What the hell?
You're gonna have to be careful,
'cause the guy's no cream buff.
The last woman that he attacked
is still in the hospital
with a broken jaw.
Interrogation room.
Locker room's down there.
What time do you
want me to sta rt?
On, who the hell knows?
I don't know.
I think maybe you
ought to let him see you
around the neighborhood.
What do you think?
Yeah, maybe.
0k. There's a cafeteria
over on tremont.
Why don't you drop by
there about 6:00
and have a bite, and then, uh,
take a stroll for about an hour
before you go to the park, ok?
He'll think I'm a hooker.
No, he won't think that.
Communication's
over in that area.
Ok, we're all set, Bert.
Are you sure about that?
I'm sure. You ought to see
some of the miserable hookers
we got around here.
Oh, well, it was nice to meet...
Is he a suspect?
Yeah, he should be.
Lovely.
87th squad. Kling.
The penalty for extortion
is imprisonment
not exceeding 15 years.
Any other questions?
Yeah. What do you mean
we're inept?
I want $5,000 in 55 and 105.
I want them put
into a metal lunch pail.
I want the pail taken
to the cops hill cemetery
and placed on the footpath...
We didn't expect him
to call back so soon.
You want $5,000 placed
in the cemetery, right?
Before noon tomorrow.
There are more than 2 of us,
so don't attempt to arrest
the man who picks up the pail,
or the commissioner
will be killed.
If the pail is empty,
the plan to kill
the commissioner
will go into effect.
If you have any more
questions, ask them now.
You don't really
expect us to put $5,000
on a silver platter,
do you, really?
No. In a lunch pail.
Yeah.
Uh, is there any way
we can reach you?
You'll have to speak louder.
I'm a little hard of hearing.
I said is...
He gone.
Lost him. Damn it.
Yeah, hi, miss... miss Sullivan?
Were you able to get anything?
Oh, gosh.
That's what I figured,
miss Sullivan.
Thank you, anyway.
You're fired.
There he is.
Wake up, bum!
Kids.
Aah! Aah! Aah!
God! Aah!
Ah, jeez. Unh!
This is...
Carellal
s-send the...
Meat wagon! Uhh!
Ok, now, Gomez.
You know what you're
supposed to do, right?
Yes, sir, I do.
Knock off the "sir" crap.
Put it on the footpath
by the water pump
in cops hill cemetery.
Just put it there
and get out, ok?
Yes, sir. Yes, Mike.
Good, good, good, good.
Good.
You know, if it rings,
I'll answer it.
But what do you mean they're
putting garbage in your car?
Well, every morning,
garbage in the front
seat of the car, you know?
You don't mind, do you?
Coffee grounds, potato peels...
Moldy fruit,
and it's just
such a mess to clean up.
When it gets on the floor,
you get your feet in it,
and you walk around,
you know, with... slipping...
With it on your heels,
and it's just the worst mess,
all chewed up bones...
As though they had a dog
or something like that.
And one day, it looked as though
somebody had blown their nose
in old pieces of toilet paper
and wet cigarette butts
and things like that,
and it's really disgusting.
You can't find
that kind of thing
in your car seat every morning
and live through it.
My stomach turns.
I really threw up several times,
but not in the front seat
of the car, you know?
I went inside.
I at least had
the decency to do that,
but I thought that maybe
if you put a...
Somebody walking the beat there,
they might find who was
doing it and, you know,
tell 'em to stop.
We'll do what we can.
Well, I wish you would,
because there really isn't
a thing that's worth picking up,
you know, on the front seat
that you would want
to take into the house
and use the next day.
I make my own lunch
when I go to work.
Excuse me.
You want to grab that end,
fella, and help us?
Yeah, lend a hand.
What's going on?
We need to get this...
All right. Help 'em, help 'em.
The sooner we get it up,
the sooner we get out of here.
That-a-boy.
All right, all right. Come here.
Let's go to work. Come on!
Let's get something done here.
How are things going down there?
Well, we're freezing
our asses off.
Any action yet?
Yeah. Gomez dropped his pail.
And will you ask him
why we had to be out here
at 5:00 in the morning
when the damn pail
wasn't gonna be delivered
until 10:00?
Did you get that?
I heard, I heard.
Look, the lieutenant
wanted you out there
before anybody else
got out there.
Follow and contain,
those are the orders, 0k?
The lieutenant ought to try
bringing his own sweet
bippy out here sometimes.
It's cold out this early.
Hold it.
No, nothing.
Just a kid looked the pail over
and left it right where it was.
All right. Stick with it.
What do you got going,
a stakeout?
Shut up.
On, big deal, stakeout.
You know, we painted
the d.A.'S office once.
This isn't such
a big deal, you know.
Cra zy, cra zy.
They was questioning a kid
who stabbed his mother
with an ice pick.
That's interesting,
'cause that number
matches this number.
Oh, yeah. You already
got my number.
What do you want this for?
Yeah, well,
this car is parked...
Double-parked
in front of the precinct.
Right in front of the station.
Yeah, that's where
I parked this morning.
What'd you do that for?
Because the lot was full,
and the last time
I parked in the lot,
somebody stole my car.
It was very stupid.
Take care of it. Get that.
Yeah, what are my rape suspects?
Biood, negative.
Semen, negative.
Uh, hold on a minute, please.
That's a lady...
Said that there's a guy
pushing a car in front
of her apartment,
and he's weaving,
like he's drunk.
Can we get him on
a drunk driving charge,
you think?
Drunk pushing...
Make it a drunk pushing.
Ok, you want to send out
an apb on a drunk...
Hey, come on, come on, come on.
Public drunkenness,
are you crazy?
That's not a...
47 times.
With an ice pick...
In the head, in the chest,
in the belly.
Uh-huh. Everyplace.
Yeah, he said he done it
to save her from the martians.
There's no such thing
as drunk pushing?
No.
Public drunkenness.
We'll get him
on public drunkenness.
Public drunk...
We want to send out an apb.
Public drunkenness.
I should've wrote
that number down.
Ha. Uh...
905, uh, I think it's 45th.
Send a car around 45th street.
Anywhere along there is fine.
Yeah.
How can that save him
from the martians?
Well, maybe ma rtia ns
don't like ladies
with ice pick holes.
Huh?
Oh. Ha ha ha!
Yes, every morning.
Well, who would want to
put garbage in your car?
Have you got any enemies?
No. I'm loved
and respected everywhere.
Pardon me. Excuse me.
Yeah, ok. Could you hold on?
A lady being molested.
She's on hold.
What should I tell her?
Hey there.
Hey, who's there?
We got him. Made contact.
Follow and contain.
What the hell was all of that?
Let's see where
he takes that lunch pail.
Suppose he's
in this thing alone?
The guy on the phone
said there were
more than 2 of them.
Mm-hmm. But he could
have been lying.
Well, let's find out.
Wonder how he's gonna
like what's in that pail.
Surprise.
Hey, this guy might be
up there for hours, Bert.
Thank you.
It's gonna be all right.
Come on.
Tomo rrow.
Maybe tomorrow.
They gotta make
some more tests on me...
Observations on my head.
I landed on my head.
The dummy landed on his head.
Ha ha ha ha!
They want to find out
if I have a concussion.
I don't have a concussion.
See? Don't have a concussion.
What'd you tell the kids?
I've gone away? Where?
Miami beach?
Why Miami beach?
So you could tell 'em
I got sun burned?
Ow! Oh!
Ah.
Come here.
You'll never know, baby.
You'll never know.
Thanks, man.
Yeah, that's 6 bits you owe me.
You think his contact
is in the pool hall?
Yeah, could be,
which means he's already
reported the empty lunch pail.
In that case, I'm certainly glad
I'm not the parks commissioner.
There he is.
Hang tight with him, huh?
This stuff's like mud.
See you later, man.
Sure do work a long day.
Yep, busy fellow...
Very, very busy.
He's the kind of dude that meets
lots and lots of people.
Yeah. He could have
passed the word
a hundred times.
Right.
You'd better call
the lieutenant,
make sure he's got
lots of men watching
parks commissioner Cooper, huh?
Yeah.
I'll thrill myself
watching this guy go to sleep.
You're gonna be all right here?
Yeah.
Ok, I'll duff off.
Commissioner Cooper,
I think I'll have 2 of my men
riding home with you
in a second car.
Is that all right? Fine.
Did you see who was
sitting in the front pew?
It was really very funny.
No! Aah!
No! No! Are you all right?
Byrnes.
Byrnes, this is
commissioner Nelson.
What the hell is this
about you knowing
that Cooper
was going to be shot?
Well, sir...
We received several
threatening telephone calls
from an unidentified man
on Monday afternoon, sir...
Which calls
I personally discussed
with commissioner Cooper
on Monday night.
Have you found the location yet?
What location, sir?
The location from which
the shot was fired
that killed parks
commissioner Cooper.
Sir, St. pius
is not in my precinct.
As I'm sure
the commissioner realizes,
a homicide is investigated
by the detectives
assigned to the precinct
in which the homicide
was committed.
Now, that's the way
we do it in this city, sir.
Perhaps they did it
differently in Philadelphia
where you came from, sir.
They never killed
a parks commissioner
in Philadelphia where
I came from, byrnes.
Now, may I suggest
that you get a few
of your people
off their asses
and over to that area
and find that location, byrnes?
And report back to me.
Yes, sir. As soon as we...
They shot the wrong
damn commissioner.
You're getting
a little static, huh?
You're getting your ass
chewed out, huh?
Why don't you guys go home?
But we ain't finished yet.
We can't leave
until we're finished,
and that won't be until Friday.
You know, we don't work
for the police department,
you know.
We work for the department
of public works.
Maintenance...
And repair.
Yeah, well, you're
dripping paint
all over my glasses.
Hey, meyer!
Hee hee hee hee.
Hey, kling, will you get...
Willis!
Hey, Willis!
Where the hell is everybody?
Anybody, hey!
What are all these lights
doing on around here?
What are we, partners
with the electric company?
Hey, guys!
Detective McHenry...
Of special assignment.
Look out for the wet paint.
Well...
This goddamn place
is driving me crazy.
Look, there's a guy bleeding
on the goddamn sidewalk,
and I called in 20 minutes
ago for a meat wagon.
So, what are you doing
up there, playing pinochle?
Yeah, well, make sure
you do it in a hurry.
What do you want, kid?
You the desk sergeant?
Yeah. Yeah,
I'm the desk sergeant.
I'm supposed to give you this.
Oh, thanks.
Uh, hold it there a second, kid.
What's the matter?
Hold it right there a second.
Hey, where did you get these?
A guy gave it to me.
What guy?
A guy outside.
Outside where?
Near the train station there,
across the street.
You know the guy?
No. He gave me 5 bucks
to bring it over here.
What'd he look like?
A bald-headed guy
with a thing in his ear.
A thing in his ear?
What kind of a thing in his ear?
Like he was deaf.
Like a hearing aid?
Yeah, a thing in his ear.
The guy had a thing in his ear.
Ok.
You can go home, son.
Chief, you got that note?
I'd like to take a look at it.
Yeah, I got it here some place.
Well, one good thing.
What's that?
You're the only man
in this precinct
who isn't getting
his goddamn fingerprints
all over them.
What do you think?
I think he's gonna do it.
He's a maniac.
Does he really expect
a deputy mayor to pay him?
Of course he does.
He killed Cooper, didn't he?
He'll shoot scanlon, too,
as soon as he gets the loot.
Wait a minute.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Where does it say shoot?
It says right there...
It doesn't say "shoot scanlon",
it says, "scanlon goes next."
All right, goes. Does that mean
sticks a shiv in his stomach
and cuts him open?
He's gonna be dead, isn't he?
Puts an ice pick
in his ears or something?
Please.
Hey...
Why don't we call scanlon up
and see if he's got
$50,000 lying around
he doesn't need, huh?
Look, I'll call scanlon.
You get over to St. pius.
Don't like that, huh?
Anything on Mr. Lunch pail?
Name on the mailbox
says Anthony ia bresca.
Super of the building says
he lives there alone
with his mother.
No criminal record.
The lieutenant wants
a 24-hour tap on his phone.
And who's he putting on the tap?
Guess who?
Damn. That's what I figured.
Jeez. It's cold out there.
How's it going, Jack?
Oh, that's it, Artie.
You got one phone
in the house here,
and we're hooked into it solid.
You'll be able to catch
anything going in or going out.
Ok.
I'm glad they picked you
for this job.
I'm not.
You know, you get some
of those klutzes over there.
They don't know how
to handle equipment.
They, uh, mess everything up.
Yeah.
Oh, Artie. Yeah.
I meant what I said, Artie.
You're the best man for the job,
and I ain'tjust saying that
'cause you're a nigger.
Oh, ho, ho. Hold it, cousin.
Let me whip something on.
Let me straighten your
act out a little taste.
Now, I don't want
too many white folks
to know this, because
they get scared, you see,
but the last dude
that had the audacity
to call me a nigger, I...
Man. Ha ha. These people,
I'm telling ya.
Oh, uh, let's see.
I turn this on and...
Hello?
Concetta.
What'd she say?
She called me.
She didn't call you.
She sure did. What'd she say?
She said you're weird.
She said I'm weird?
Mm-hmm. I'm weird?
That's the first time
lever had a chick
ask me to get down
and bark like a dog.
Well, did you?
Yeah, I did.
And?
Her German Shepherd
jumped on top of me.
I had to run out of the house.
I couldn't get back
in the house.
I had to go home.
My old lady said,
"I thought you were
going to be home at 10:00."
I said the game broke up early.
Yeah, right, lew.
The apartment was rented
to a bald-headed guy
with a hearing aid 3 days ago.
Third floor, front, perfect
spot to watch the commissioner.
Yeah.
The landlady says
he paid cash in advance,
gave his name as sordo.
S-o-r-d-o. No first name,
just the initial 'i...
Yeah.
All right. Yeah.
Well, I'm checking
the phone books right now.
Ok.
Who's handling the case
where these bums
are getting set on fire?
Carella. He's not here. Why?
Just found one in the doorway.
He'd been laying there
since last night sometime.
Is he alive?
Just barely.
Hospital gives him
a 60-40 chance.
Yeah, well, I'll tell him.
You'll tell him? Yeah.
Thanks.
How do you spell surveillance?
2 is.
87th squad. Detective meyer.
Hi, Sarah. What's the matter?
Oh! God damn... I'm sorry.
Yeah, I forgot all about it.
Look, I'll call him right away.
I'll get back to you. All right.
Steve levine was just in,
said you got another customer
in the hospital.
Yeah, he told me. Thanks.
You ok? How's your hands?
Screwing up my sex life.
Ha ha ha. Ow.
Hello, abramowitz catering?
Detective meyer, 87th squad.
Look, you did it again.
The knishes... dry, crumbled.
Well, how many times?
I want credit. I...
Look, I'll get
right back to you.
Hi, Sadie. How are you?
Good to see ya. Come on in.
I think we can get it
over with right now.
We're gonna settle
the whole thing
once and for all.
He came back again last night.
I'm not handling that case
anymore, my dear.
Detective McHenry
handles it now, Sadie.
Who?
Look, Eileen...
I think we got the first
big break in your case,
but you're gonna
have to handle it alone.
Sadie, this is detective
Eileen McHenry.
Her name's Sadie.
Hello, Sadie.
How do you do?
Do you have some information
you'd like to give us?
Yes.
He came back again last night.
Who?
The rape artist.
Oh, well, just a second here.
Do you have a description
you can give me?
He's a tall swarthy man.
Tall... swarthy.
Wears this long black cape.
Cape? Yes.
Over a tuxedo
with a white dress shirt
and a black bow tie...
And these black satin
dancing slippers,
and he's got buttons
on his fly...
5 buttons.
I see.
So he likes to unbutton
his fly very slowly,
one button at a time,
and he warns me not to scream,
because he's not gonna hurt me.
All he wants to do is screw me.
Yeah. Screw you.
Ha ha ha ha!
He looks like such a gentleman,
so naturally, I never scream
until he gets the last
button unbuttoned.
That's when he
takes out his thing.
So, naturally,
that's when I scream.
Ha ha ha ha!
Well, Sadie,
I can promise you
that we're going to do
everything in our power
to bring this man to justice.
As a matter of fact,
we might even
enlist the services
of detective carella...
And detective meyers.
I'm sure that they'd
be willing to help.
I'm sure they'd be glad
to come by personally...
To see that nothing
happens to you.
Isn't that right, boys?
What do you say? Steve?
Smart ass.
Smart...
Would you like a cup of coffee?
No, I wouldn't like
a cup of coffee.
Why not?
I don't like the coffee
they have around here.
Oh, it's not that bad.
It stinks.
Well, we could go out
for a cup of coffee
if you like.
Would you move your ass?
Ok.
Why do they do it to me?
They're just kidding.
Well, I take this case
very seriously.
They know that.
Would you like to go for coffee?
Would you?
Yeah.
I would.
Listen, you want a Jeep?
A Jeep? I don't
want a Jeep. What for?
I got a friend.
He gets a hundred
people together.
You can get surplus army
jeeps for $4.73 each.
I'm not interested.
That's like
the portable sand dune.
I don't need any
of that shit, really.
It comes in a box,
no, no. You put it together.
You get a brand-new
no, no, no. Never been used.
Yeah, right, right.
What do you want?
Hello, Tony?
Yeah?
Tony ia bresca?
Get out of here, you creep.
Eating my dinner.
What's up, dom?
Tony, uh, I was wondering
if you could lend me some bread
till I get organized here.
You've never been
organized in your life.
Tony... I know.
What do you know?
About the caper.
What caper?
Tony, don't let me say it
on the phone, huh?
You never know who's
listening these days.
Right on.
What you want, dom?
Come on. Spit it out.
Not on the phone.
Meet me outside Sammy's tonight.
You ever play here before?
Nope.
They call me tiny.
Hello, tiny.
You missed.
Yeah, I missed.
You a hustler?
No.
We break hustler's arms...
And throw them down the stairs.
Just the arms
or the whole hustler?
I got no sense of humor.
Neither have I,
so buzz off, will ya?
I mean, you're ruining
my game, all right?
8 ball in the side.
You missed.
What's that in your belt there?
You work on the docks?
Yeah, I work on the docks.
Excuse me.
You want company?
Now, how do I know
you're not a hustler?
Hi, tiny.
Hey, hi, man.
How's it going?
So-so. Far out.
This is Marty rosen here.
Hi, Marty. Nice to meet you.
Same here.
He's Tony ia bresca.
Shoots a pretty good game.
Marty here shoots the way
Angelo used to shoot.
You remember Angelo...
The cripple.
Oh, yeah.
Angelo the...
Yeah, Angie the creep.
Yeah! Ha ha! Yeah.
Seen Pete around?
Yeah. Over by the windows.
I'll see you guys.
Uh...
Who's Pete?
Schroeder.
Friend of Tony's?
Yeah.
See you later, tiny.
Yeah, man.
Hey, tiny, I'm sorry.
My wife's gonna kill me.
I gotta split.
Yeah, sure.
It was like playing
without you anyway.
Sir, sir. Excuse me
a minute, sir.
Get out of here!
Get out of here!
Would you mind making
just a small contribution
maybe to help me
get me back to my family?
Get out of my way!
Damn. Damn it!
Hey, carella, is meyer in yet?
No, sir. He's not here yet.
Well, send his ass
into my office
as soon as he gets in.
Yes, sir.
Oh, yeah, carella.
Yo.
This guy just shot
his own brother.
Nothin', nothin'.
Willis just booked him
downstairs.
I think he's halfway to
Italy right now on a boat.
Halfway to Italy on a boat.
What the hell makes
you think he's Italian?
Because anything ending in
"o" is Italian, you dummy.
Shot his own brother, kling.
What about Yamamoto?
Yama...
Used a shotgun on him.
The guy had no face left at all.
I don't understand this place.
I just don't understand.
Sordo is Italian.
Sordo, sordo. It's Italian.
Sordo? Sordo, yes.
What makes you think
it's Italian?
In Spanish, sordo means deaf.
Deaf?
What, I say something?
El sordo.
2 days we've been
spending on a phony name.
And all it means is
the goddamn deaf man.
I'm freezing my balls off.
The son of a bitch
didn't have to
bawl me out that way.
He was pissed off at you.
He had a right to be pissed off.
You lost your man
last night, didn't you?
Well, you think
I'm not pissed off?
Listen, I've been
a cop for 13 years.
And I've never
blown a surveillance
in all that time, god damn it.
Unh!
Your crucifix is crooked.
What? It's crooked.
The crucifix.
Mmm. Heh heh heh.
Is this normal
stakeout procedure?
Yeah, it's real normal.
I meant... I meant
the sleeping bag.
Yes, that's my idea.
Oh! What's that?
Oh, uh, it's just my gun.
What's that?
That's a...
Baby carriage. Well...
Just a baby carriage,
that's all.
Yeah, but... um...
Needs a little oiling.
That's all.
Don't you think that...
We all need oiling.
Yeah, but, listen. Ah.
Ahh.
Yeah?
We shouldn't.-
Bert. What?
These are public gardens, Bert.
Yeah. Oh!
We aren't supposed to...
Oh!
It's nothin'. Just a kid.
I wish you'd...
Nice, quiet...
Bert.
Come in, Bert.
On, what's that?
Kid over there.
He's heading for the pail.
Jesus, not now. Uhh.
He's walking toward Bert.
That's right.
He's going toward Bert.
He's not coming here.
Get Bert on the phone.
Here we go. Ok.
Get him on. Get him on. Come on.
Bert. Bert.
Get the zipper down.
Well, all right!
Are you there, Bert?
Can you hear me?
Get that... where is it?
Get the radio.
Oh! Would you wait a minute?
Goddamn thing.
I don't know if it's there.
Whoo!
Did we get him?
Listen to this. Bert.
Where's the gun?
I'll call meyer.
Wait.
Where is it? Ha! Ho ho!
Shh! Shh! Shh!
What the hell is he doing?
Bert!
Oh, ho ho ho!
Who's in the car?
Charlie.
Charlie! Move in.
Meyer?
Where is it?
He's coming across the bridge.
Suspect moving
toward Parker and dog.
Kill.
Kill, Randolph!
Come on, kill,
you silly son of a bitch!
Goddamn foot!
Kill, Randolph!
Stop! Police!
Hold it!
Stop!
Stop! Police!
Stop!
Police! Damn it! Stop!
Stop. Police.
Ok, what's your name?
Alan parry.
Mmm.
Where do you live, Alan?
Right around the corner.
I know you guys.
I see you guys
around all the time.
Don't you know me?
You make him, Bert?
Steve?
I don't know who he is, chief.
So we gotta try
the mutt and Jeff routine.
Ok, I'm mutt this time.
Oh, no, no. Now, I'm desperate.
I gotta be mutt now.
God damn it. You're always Jeff.
I'm in enough trouble
with byrnes.
Please, for me, Steve.
Why do I always
have to be the heavy?
One time. Do it for me.
I gotta be mutt. Let me do it.
All right. All right?
Who asked you, Alan?
A bald guy wearing
a hearing aid.
Bald guy wearing a hearing aid.
We're tired of screwing
around with you now, kid.
Now, what was the guy's name
that you were going to meet?
I don't know his name.
Was it maybe Pete schroeder?
I'm telling you I don't know.
God damn it!
Will you stop lying to us?
All right! Cut it out!
I hate it when they lie.
Cut it out! Come on.
Keep it cooi.
There are other ways
of doing this, ok?
Now, come on, Alan.
Sit down here.
Come here. That-a-boy. Come on.
There.
Honest to god.
You can talk to me.
The guy gave me 5 bucks
to pick up the pail,
and that's all I know.
Right.
Now...
What do you think
was in the pail?
Lunch.
Lunch?
Lunch?
Huh? Yeah.Yeah.
Lunch? What do you think?
I'm not some fooi!
I'm not gonna tell you again.
Cut that out.
Come on, Alan.
Now, really.
What do you think
was really in that pail?
Grass.
I figured I could maybe
make a quick buck.
There's guys
in this neighborhood
who smoke the kind of stuff
that's in that pail.
But not you, huh, Alan?
I have never smoked
a joint in my life.
Is that right?
Open up that lunch pail.
No.
Oh, yeah, kid.
Open up the lunch pail.
Now open it up.
No. I don't want to.
Open it up! I don't want to!
Why not, Alan?
Why not, Alan?
'Cause if there's
pot in that pail,
I don't know nothin' about it.
You said before...
If I didn't want
to answer no questions,
I didn't have to. Right.
Ok, I don't want to
answer no more questions.
Look, Alan, I think
I proved it, right?
You can talk to me.
Go stick it in your hat.
Sorry.
Go on, Alan. Go home. Beat it.
I can go?
Get out of here.
What do you think, Steve?
I figure the deaf man knew
that there was nothin'
in the lunch pail
all along, chief,
and they figured that we'd
nail whoever picked it up.
That's what I think.
What do you think, Bert?
Yeah, I agree with Steve...
In which case he wants
to kill scanlon.
I think I'll call the d.A.
And have him put his own
men on this damn case.
Lieutenant remembers
your name by the work.
Ho ho ho! Hmm.
She doesn't mean to be mean.
She's in love.
Just in love.
Just in love. Ha ha ha ha!
Hey, did you have fun
in the sleeping bag?
Just doing my job.
Just doing a little plumbing.
Did you get your pipes cleaned?
A little plumbing?
A little plumbing?
Hey! Go to hell, sisters!
How do you feel
about all this, Steve?
About what?
Well, about the guy
maybe being deaf.
So what?
I mean because of Claudia...
You know it.
I never really thought about it.
You know, I've been married
12 years to Teddy, and, uh...
I never really think
about her being a...
A deaf mute.
I'm sorry, Steve.
I didn't mean to bring up...
No. That's all right.
Forget it.
I just never think about her...
That way.
Yeah, what is it?
Trying to find
the deputy mayor's car.
On, they already looked it over.
But did they check the clock?
They looked it over
from top to bottom.
Yeah, well, I'm supposed
to fix the clock.
On. There it is over there.
I went all the way over
to the municipal garage.
They told me they moved
the car over here.
What the hell's
going on, anyway?
Don't you read the papers?
For the funnies.
This one?
Electric ciock stopped.
Big catastrophe, right?
All right.
Which one of you little mothers
goes to the ciock?
Hey, buddy, you mind?
You're making me nervous.
Hey, schroeder.
Catching up on your reading?
Any trouble getting here?
No.
Sure you weren't followed?
Positive.
Why would anybody
want to follow me?
So, what's with dom?
He wants to split it 3 ways.
I don't want to cut him in.
You think I do?
If we don't play ball with him,
he's gonna scream for the cops.
Man, there's big money here.
Look, don't you
think I know that?
What are we gonna do with him?
We can kill him.
When are you gonna
meet him again?
Tomorrow morning.
Where?
Tony?
Where are you gonna meet him?
Oh, oh, um... copley square
near the church.
What do you want me to tell him?
You tell him that we're...
Give me a quarter, will you?
No.
Will you give me a quarter?
No.
Will you give me a quarter?!
Will you guys knock it off?
I can't see the action
with all that blabbing.
Oh, you're beautiful.
You're really beautiful.
You get anything?
Huh?
I said, did you get anything?
Yeah, um, 11:00 in the morning,
copley square.
Oh, what do you think?
Steve?
Steve.
Freak.
Oh, darling, would you keep
the notes to my speech?
I can't tell you gentlemen
how much I appreciate this.
Part of the job, Mr. Scanlon.
It's our pleasure, also.
He means the main thing
is to make sure that
nothing happens to you.
D.a.'s orders.
Excuse me, Mr. Scanlon.
What time are we due
at the synagogue?
Well, I'm due to speak at 9:00,
and I would like to be
there by a quarter of.
More than enough time, sir.
Ok.
"Rabbi horowitz
and ladies of the Hadassah,
it gives me great pleasure
to appear before you tonight..."
Are you sticking to the schedule
they announced
in the newspapers?
That's right.
It's the same speech
that I gave to the sons
of Ireland last month.
Heh heh heh.
You smile, lady.
"The city of Boston
definitely needs
all of the assistance that
it can get at this time."
Aah!
Hey, look.
Yeah.
That's the same car I lost
outside the pool hall...
With a blond girl driving it.
How'd she get in the act again?
Well, she's obviously
substituting for dom,
probably his girlfriend.
Think she'll know anything?
She must be in on it,
don't you think?
Snort meeting.
Let's hit her.
Hey, meyer, iook at this.
Your name dom, honey?
Yeah. What's yours?
Get 'em up there.
That's a girl?
What's your full name, dom?
Dominick americo di fillippi.
Listen, you got the wrong guy.
I'm a musician.
Yeah? What do you play?
The harp.
The harp, huh?
Yeah, blues harp...
Harmonica, man.
I play with the rotten onions.
Not really?
The rotten onions.
It's a group, man.
What's your connection
with Tony ia bresca?
He's a friend of mine.
Tell us what
about the caper. Caper?
The one with
Anthony ia bresca...
And that... come on!
Peter schroeder is planning.
I don't know. I never
heard of any schroeder.
Well, that sure is a lot
of money to forget.
You don't remember that, dom?
Well, that's called compounding.
Compounding?
Yeah.
Yeah, well, what do I get
for this compounding
or whatever the hell it is?
5 years.
It ain't worth it.
No, it ain't, dom.
Tell us what you know.
They're holding up
a liquor store.
A liquor store?
That's the big deal?
Yeah, that's the big deal.
Oh, Jesus.
It's nothin' to do with
the goddamn deaf man at all.
It had nothin' to do with him!
When are they hitting it?
Tonight.
Where?
Ahmad, is that you?
Yeah, buck, it's me.
You get them?
I got 'em.
I got 'em!
Did you have them tested?
Of course I had them tested.
Good. Got the whiskey, too.
Ahmad got the whiskey, sweetie.
I had to go to
to get them.
Can Ahmad fix us a drink?
Rochelle wants to know
if you want me to fix us...
I can hear you.
A drink.
Shall I?
Why don't you?
I think I'll have
a little more champagne.
Hell. This is
the part I can't get.
Plus, I'm bored.
What should I do?
What time is it, buck?
Uh...
It's a little past 4:00.
If I made a reservation
at Locke-ober for...
6:00, let's say...
Do you think you can get...
Dressed in time?
What's Locke-ober?
A very nice restaurant.
Yes, I could be dressed.
Marvelous empty-headed bitch.
I think she's dangerous
to have around here.
Oh the co ntra ry.
She calms the nerves
and relieves
the everyday tensions.
She hasn't got
the vaguest notion
of what we're up to.
Yeah, well, sometimes
I don't have the vaguest notion
of what we're up to, either.
That's really very simple, buck.
Not to me, it isn't.
To buck, only bombs are simple.
This is the last one.
Look, why don't we
call this Jefferson?
After our visit
to the mayor's mansion.
Now, here's Henry Jefferson...
Our unsuspecting target.
Henry Jefferson,
chairman of the board
of Jefferson industries incorporated,
loving husband to Margaret,
loving father
to Abigail and Louise.
Personal assets estimated
at close to $42 million.
Now, I don't think
he's going to mind parting
with a mere 500,000
of that, do you?
Suppose he calls the fuzz?
Well, if he does,
it will be too late.
And anyway, they still
don't know who we are...
And they never will.
But, my friend,
they're called fuzz
because their ways are fussy,
and their thinking is fuzzy.
They're inept and inadequate
in an age that demands
efficiency.
While mankind has already taken
its first enormous
steps on the moon,
the police are
still mired in mud,
like the hopeless pigs they are.
Ok, ok, come on,
let's break it up.
Break it up.
What do you propose to do
about this intolerable
situation?
We're working on it.
We're working on it.
You got anything for me?
Yeah.
I'm taking meyer out to dinner,
and then we're going
to the liquor store.
I like your friends, Bert.
How would you, sir,
like to be set on fire?
He already did. I already
tried that. Tried that.
I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to frighten you.
Can I walk with you?
Where you going?
You are very beautiful.
Thank you.
You're a beautiful slut...
And I want to touch you.
Please, I... I just want
to be your friend.
Ok.
See? I won't hurt you.
No. All right.
I won't hurt you. See?
Your purse.
Oh!
Aah!
Hold it...
Right there...
Unless you want me
to end your career.
Buck?
Just a few more
adjustments to make.
Everything connected?
Connected and
set to go off at 2:00.
Came out rather well,
don't you think?
Excellent.
Considering I was
working all night
and with a minox.
Now, here's the crucial map.
It's the composite feeder plate,
and it pinpoints
the manhole exactly.
The high voltage cables
passing under this manhole
provide the electricity
for the whole area substation
in which the mayor's
mansion is located.
Here.
The mansion is
completely electrified,
except for 2 gas lamps
at the main gate.
Speak to me, buck.
All set.
Let's get dressed.
There it is...
The mayor's mansion.
Ahmad, don't slow down.
Turn left at the corner
and keep going.
I'll tell you one thing.
If I ever need a cop,
remind me never to call one.
Well, so long for now.
See you in a couple of years.
I kind of think
you should see me
a little sooner than that. Ha!
Would you mind
stepping over here?
What's up, sarge?
Well, would you mind
lifting the tarp
upjust a little bit, please?
But there's paint in there.
Of course there's paint,
but it wouldn't be
paint spilled all over.
Bless my soul.
Now that...
Is a no-no.
"Oh," is right. Now...
I tell you, I have no idea...
I mean...
I don't understand.
It certainly is
hard to understand,
and it's hard to understand
how you going to
stay out of jail.
Happy birthday.
That ain't funny, Harry.
What's this?
It's all right.
I'm sergeant Pierce,
emergency service division.
These men are from
the electric company.
There's a leak
somewhere in the line.
They're trying to locate it.
Ok, sarge.
Better check over
this equipment.
I don't want any static
on it later.
Yeah. Good idea.
You want to open that up for me?
Ok?
What's that you're carrying?
It's a volt ohm meter.
Want to open it up for me?
Sure.
Ok, you can close it now.
Ok to go in?
Sure thing, sarge.
Hold it, fellas.
Sergeant Pierce,
emergency service division.
These men are from
the electric company,
here to check the power failure.
Yeah? What the hell happened?
A leak somewhere in the line.
Oh?
Where's the breaker box?
Right back here.
You want to show him?
Ok, come on.
All right, do what you gotta.
Find it?
No. It must be some place else.
18 guys in that squad,
and I got to get picked
to go on this dumb job.
Will you tell me that?
Why do I have to go along?
For the same reason
I had to go along...
Because the lieutenant
does not like meyer, Steve.
Right.
He likes me.
No, he doesn't, meyer.
You always get the dumb jobs.
You know that.
What does that say?
I should be working
on an extortion case
right now, meyer...
An extortion case.
I shouldn't be going to
some dumb liquor store
waiting for two two-bit
punks to show up.
Yeah. Why don't you
just admit it?
You had us tailing
the wrong man, meyer.
Who?
You, you.
Follow and contain...
Those are your orders.
Yes. Going after
the wrong man, meyer.
It was the lieutenant's fault.
Right.
You know why it was
the lieutenant's fault?
Because he doesn't like you.
That's right.
He likes me. He likes me.
Wait a minute.
I forgot the maps.
Now we'll put our proposition
to Mr. Jefferson.
When suddenly, out of nowhere,
this guy comes bombing
out of the gas station.
I know, I know,
but how many times
is it the other fella's fault?
Do you realize how many
times it's happened
this year alone?
I know, but this time,
it really isn't my fault.
I even have a witness.
I'll discuss it with you
after dinner.
Hello.
Mr. Jefferson?
Who is this?
The man who killed
commissioner Cooper
and deputy mayor scanlon.
What? What did you say?
I believe you heard me, sir.
Before morning,
another member of
the municipal government
will be killed. You will have...
Who is this? What do you want?
Mr. Jefferson,
I would advise you
to shut your mouth
and keep it shut
from this moment on.
You have until Monday afternoon
to raise $500,000
in small unmarked bills.
We will contact you then
with instructions
concerning delivery.
If you fail to accommodate us,
we'll first kill
your wife Margaret,
then your daughters
Abigail and Louise,
the same way we killed...
This is absurd.
Do you realize
who you're talking to?
I'm advising you beforehand
of a murder
yet to be committed...
A murder you'll read about
in your newspaper
tomorrow morning.
I will not show you
the same consideration
if you fail to raise the money,
and we are forced
to go after your family.
I'm contacting the police
the minute you get off the line.
Don't bother. You're too late.
Put the money in a small
valise, Mr. Jefferson.
You'll hear from us.
Abigail, you know better
than to say that.
Orthodontist.
I once read a book...
1,001 ways
to get out of the draft.
Done.
I want to stop and buy
a case of champagne.
I'm cold.
Yeah. You already
told me that 3 times.
Yeah, well, I'm still cold.
Hey.
Hey, iook, let's forget
the liquor stores, ok?
Come on, we'll try
down by the river.
Lots of bums sleep in those
empty boats down there.
Yeah, all right.
Ok, but only for, like,
a half an hour, ok, Jimmy?
Because I'm
really cold... really.
Hey.
Hey, you iook like
you're going to cry.
I'm just cold, that's all.
Ok, baby, ok, ok. Come on.
We'll find someone. We'll
make a nice warm fire, huh?
Now, remember,
no shooting unless that
old fart starts yelling,
you understand?
Right.
Now, we get there
just before he closes.
At quarter to 12:00.
Right.
Cut through the alley,
then we go in the back door.
See, that way, we surprise him.
Then we tie him up,
and we throw him
behind the counter.
Then we empty the cash
register and come back here.
Right.
Right.
Yeah.
Stick 'em up.
Hey.
What time is it?
5 minutes later than
the last time you asked me.
Oh, come on.
11:45. Oh, thank you.
You're welcome.
You know, there's
the smell of fortune
out there in that cash register.
There's $86.20, Steve.
It's got to be the biggest
caper of the century.
Better get ready, huh?
Sorry we don't have
a sleeping bag for you.
Ha ha ha ha!
Aw, hey, you're really kind
of cute, you know, Steve?
You ready?
Ready.
I'll need your help, buck.
I'd like a case of dom perignon.
It's the police!
It's the police!
Who the hell is that?
It's the police, god damn it!
What police? We're the police!
If this is your idea
of a joke, carella...
Get in there, guys.
Come on! Come on! Stop! Police!
Here! Come here!
Too... too late.
What? What are you
talking about?
A bomb.
C-C...
Wh...
Jesus, the mayor's mansion.
Murchison, this is kling
at the liquor store.
Stop, police!
Bullshit!
Who are we chasing?
I don't know!
God damn it!
Let me in on it!
Goddamn! Meyer!
He's got a bald head
and a hearing aid!
Impossible!
Damn it! He's got a bald head
and a thing in his ear!
Look.
Drunk as a pig.
Let's take him, baby.
Have a drink, bum!
No!
Hold it!
Stop it!
Waah!
Aah!
Aah!
Nothing, huh?
No, nothing.
Maybe the fire got him.
If the fire didn't get him,
the river sure as hell did.
Or the pollution. Yeah.
You know
what those 2 kids told me?
What?
They were just trying
to clean up the neighborhood.
Oh, Jesus!
Think they'll find
the body, Steve?
If they drag the river,
they'll find the body.
Boy, it's really
amazing, you know?
What's amazing?
Well, the deaf man,
the planting of the bomb
under the mayor's bed,
the way we tied
the whole thing up.
We tied it all together.
It's amazing we caught him
staked out in the back
of a liquor store
getting our ass shot off.
Garbage? What do you
mean, garbage?
We're garbage men.
This was based
on good, sound police work.
It was.
Sound police work?
I can't wait to see
the lieutenant's face
in the morning. Big headlines.
"87th precinct's
stunning destruction
of the deaf man."
Picture his face
when he sees that.
Ha.
Well, the important thing is,
we solved the crime.
Right?
Right.
The world will never know...
Never know.