Heartsounds (1984) Movie Script
(Judy)
I KEEP THINKING:
"O.K., DADDY.
THE JOKE'S OVER."
(Michael)
I ALWAYS THOUGHTHAT HAPPINESS
WAS HAVING YOUR PULSE
TAKEN BY YOUR FATHER.
EVEN AS KIDS,
JUDY AND I COULD TELL HIM
ANYTHING.
(Martha)
THE ANSWERS
TO ALL THE QUESTIONS
STILL ELUDE ME
AM I EVER GOING TO
LET GO OF HIM?
[Martha laughing]
[Harold sighing]
[Martha moaning]
[Martha laughing]
[Harold moaning]
[Harold sighing]
[Martha laughing]
[Martha imitating sound
of beating heart]
(Martha)
NOT BAD AFTER
12 YEARS OF MARRIAGE, KIDDO.
NOT BAD.
[Harold panting]
[sighing]
OH,
JUST THOUGHT OF
AN OLD DOCTORS' JOKE.
UMM-HMM?
THE CARDIAC PATIENSAYS, UH,
"WILL I BE ABLE TO HAVE
SEX, DOCTOR?"
AND THE, UH, DOCTOR SAYS,
"YES,
"BUT ONLY WITH YOUR WIFE.
I DON'T WANT YOU TO GETOO EXCITED."
YEAH.
I'LL BE SURE TO TELL THAAT MY NEXT WOMEN'S GROUP.
OH, NOW, IS THAT WHAYOU TALK ABOUT?
WE TALK ABOUTHE EXPENDABILITY OF HUSBANDS.
[groans]
UH-OH.
MY PLANE.
(woman on intercom)
T-W-8, FLIGHT NUMBER 7
FROM LONDON TO NEW YORK,
IS NOW BOARDING AT GATE 14.
[sighing]
I HATE IT ALREADY.
IT'S GOING TO BE
AWFUL WITHOUT YOU.
OH, COME ON.
YOU CALLED YOUR OWN SHOTS
FOR 29 YEARS.
HMM, THAT WAS DIFFERENT.
I WASN'T A WIFE.
YOU GET BRAINWASHED.
AND BESIDES, YOU'LL BE BUSY
WITH YOUR ASSIGNMENTS.
YEAH, A WEEK IN LONDON,
THEN I'M JUST A TOURIST.
WHAT'S WRONG WITH TAKING
A VACATION FOR YOURSELF?
DRIVING AROUND FRANCE,
ALL OUR OLD SPOTS.
ALONE?
IT MAY BE
THE SHORTEST VACATION
IN HISTORY.
[sighing]
YOU CAN ALWAYS WRITE
A TRAVEL ARTICLE.
HMM. I HAVEN'T WRITTEN
A TRAVEL ARTICLE
SINCE I WAS 12.
(Sophie)
DR. LEAR.
SOPHIE AND DAVE ELIAS,
FROM HARTFORD.
YOU TOOK CARE
OF MY FATHER.
OH, SURE, SURE.
I REMEMBER THE NIGHT HE DIED,
YOU STAYED WITH HIM
ALL NIGHIN HIS HOSPITAL ROOM.
ALL NIGHT.
THAT WAS QUITE A WHILE AGO,
UH, DO YOU KNOW MY WIFE?
HOW DO YOU DO?
(Sophie)
A PLEASURE.
MRS. LEAR,
TO ME, YOUR HUSBAND IS A GOD.
A GOD.
AH, THIS IS IT, MUSHY.
DOES A GOD FONDLE
HIS WIFE'S REAR END
IN PUBLIC?
THAT'S SO NO ONE WILL THINK
YOU'RE A WIFE.
[woman chattering on intercom]
(woman attendant)
MAY I SEE YOUR TICKET PLEASE?
THANK YOU.
THE TIMES' PARIS BUREAU
WILL KNOW WHERE I AM.
[airplane engine roaring]
(Julie)
HE'S FINISHED
AND HE GOES OFF TO SLEEP.
AND I'M LAYING THERE,
AND I'M MAD.
WHAT DO YOU THINK
SHOULD BE HAPPENING, JULIE?
WELL, I FIGURE THAT,
IF WOMEN ARE...
[sighing]
LIKE IT SAYS
IN ALL THE MAGAZINES,
ARE--ARE HAVING ORGASMS
ALL OVER THE PLACE,
WHY SHOULDN'T I?
I'D LIKE HER TO BE SATISFIED.
I'D LIKE TO FEEL AS IF
I'M DOING A GOOD JOB.
THAT'S WHAT IT'S LIKE,
SOMETIMES.
A JOB.
DO YOU EVER TELL DAN
WHAT YOU DO LIKE?
MAKES YOU EXCITED?
[laughing]
OH, WELL,
HE SHOULD KNOW.
(Harold)
HOW?
GOOD SEX STARTS
WITH BEING ABLE
TO TALK TO EACH ANOTHER.
THAT'S A SKILL
YOU CAN LEARN.
WHAT WE'D LIKE TO DO TODAY,
IS TO GIVE
PRACTICING DOCTORS
SOME CONCEPT OF
THE TECHNIQUES USED
IN THE TREATMENOF SEXUAL DYSFUNCTION.
CERTAINLY WE DON'T EXPECALL OF YOU TO BECOME
SEX THERAPISTS.
BUT THE NEED FOR DOCTORS
TO BE ABLE TO...
THAT LOOKS OK.
IT'S GOING OUTO 200 TEACHING HOSPITALS
NEXT WEEK.
[phone buzzing]
YES.
(Doris)
DR. KORBER CALLED.
HE'S PENCILED
YOUR MEETING IN FOR
TOMORROW MORNING AT 10:00.
HALLELUJAH!
AND PLEASE SIGN THOSE LETTERS
ON YOUR DESK
BEFORE YOU GO TO LUNCH.
THANK YOU, DORIS.
I HAD 2 STUDENTS ASK ME TODAY
IF THE PSYCHIATRY DEPARTMENWAS GONNA TAKE YOUR PROGRAM
AWAY FROM YOU.
I HAVE KORBER'S WORD
THEY WON'T.
KORBER'S A TOWER OF JELL-O.
HE'LL NEVER STAND UP TO THEM.
[sighs]
FIRST, THEY'LL HAVE NOTHING
TO DO WITH YOU.
SEX THERAPY,
THE DIRTY WORD.
NOW THAT YOUR PROGRAM'S
A RUNAWAY SUCCESS,
EVERYBODY WANTS--
YOU SOUND JUST LIKE MARTHA.
WELL...
SO, EVERYTHING'S WORKING OUT,
HAL?
[sirens wailing]
SEX EDUCATION WILL STAY
WITH ME IN PUBLIC HEALTH.
AND SEX THERAPY WILL MOVE INTO
THE DEPARTMENT OF PSYCHIATRY
UNDER DR. GROSS.
WELL, FINE, UH,
THEN I'LL BE REPORTING
TO BOTH OF YOU.
(Dr. Korber)
WELL, NOT EXACTLY.
I DON'T KNOW
WHAT THAT MEANS.
I'M ASKING DR. MARTIN
TO HEAD IT UP.
BUT THIS IS MY PROGRAM.
I C-CREATED IT FROM NOTHING.
I BUILT IT.
NOBODY'S QUESTIONING THAT,
HAL, OR YOUR CREDENTIALS
AS A DOCTOR, AS A UROLOGIST.
THAT'S WHAT GAVE
THE PROGRAM CREDIBILITY
FROM THE BEGINNING.
THEN, WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?
YOU'RE NOT A PSYCHIATRIST.
IF I WERE TO NAME YOU
THE DIRECTOR OF A PROGRAM
IN THAT DEPARTMENT,
WELL, I'D HAVE A REVOLUTION
ON MY HANDS.
(Dr. Korber)
YOU CAN SEE THAT, HAL.
(Dr. Gross)
WE COULD MAKE YOU,
UH, ASSOCIATE,
OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT...
(Barney)
HAVE YOU TOLD MARTHA?
WHY LOUSE UP HER TRIP?
BESIDES, I KNOW
WHAT SHE'LL SAY.
"WHY DON'T YOU GEOUT OF THERE?"
(man)
NEXT 3 PLEASE
AND DO WHAT? START OVER?
BUILD A PRIVATE PRACTICE
IN NEW YORK?
THIS IS LYND GALWAR,
MY CHOREOGRAPHER.
MY COUSIN,
DR. LEAR.
HOW DO YOU DO?
LISTEN, I THINK I'LL SKIP
DINNER FOR TONIGHT,
IF YOU DON'T MIND.
WHY? LINDA'S HOLDING
A TABLE FOR US
ACROSS THE STREET.
I'M NOT HUNGRY.
I'LL TAKE A RAIN CHECK, HUH?
I'LL TALK TO YOU TOMORROW.
PLEASURE MEETING YOU.
GOOD NIGHT.
SO WHAT DO YOU THINK?
[car horns honking]
WARM NIGHT, DOCTOR.
BETTER TURN
THE AIR-CONDITIONING ON.
YEAH, I MAY DO THAT, FRED.
HOW'S THE BACK?
BETTER.
I'M DOING THOSE EXERCISES.
[sighing]
[sighing]
[phone ringing]
(female operator)
OPERATOR.
UH, YES, OPERATOR.
I'D LIKE TO SPEAK
TO FRANCE PLEASE,
AREA CODE 935--
SORRY, SIR,
THE CIRCUITS ARE BUSY.
TRY A LITTLE LATER.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
[birds twittering]
OH.
YES, YES, I KNOW.
IT'S AGAINST THE LAW IN FRANCE
TO WORK
WHILE YOU'RE EATING.
THE CALL TO YOUR HUSBAND,
I TRY IT NOW?
NO, IT'S A LITTLE EARLY.
WE'LL TRY THAT LATER.
THANK YOU.
[birds twittering]
[car horn honking]
[groaning]
[sighing]
[match lighting]
[sighing]
YOU LOOK LIKE HELL.
[sighing]
[gasping]
[gasping]
[breathing heavily]
[groaning]
[groaning]
[gasping]
[panting]
[gasping]
[phone ringing]
(female operator)
THIS IS 911.
CAN I HELP YOU?
UH, MY NAME IS HAROLD LEAR.
I LIVE AT 1020 PARK AVENUE.
I'M HAVING A HEART ATTACK.
MY DOCTOR'S NAME
IS RUSSELL GRANT.
I'M TOO WEAK
TO FIND HIS NUMBER.
PLEASE CALL HIM AND TELL HIM
TO COME RIGHT AWAY.
SIR, I CAN'T CALL YOUR DOCTOR.
THIS IS STRICTLY
AN EMERGENCY SERVICE.
BUT THIS IS AN EMERGENCY.
I CAN TRANSFER YOUR CALL
TO THE EMERGENCY OPERATOR.
SHE'LL BE ABLE TO DISPATCH
AN AMBULANCE
[gasping]
HELP.
[coughing]
[gasping]
BILL!
[wheezing]
[groaning]
BILL!
[gasping]
GET ME TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM.
I'M HAVE A HEART ATTACK.
I'LL GET AN AMBULANCE,
DOCTOR.
GET A CAB
[Harold gasping]
(doctor)
START AN I.V., STAT.
[medical team chattering]
(doctor)
DO AN E.C.G. RIGHT AWAY.
[cardiograph beeping]
(nurse)
DR. LEAR?
DR. LEAR?
WE NEED SOME
ADMITTING INFORMATION.
NEXT OF KIN.
WIFE?
SHE'S OUT OF THE COUNTRY.
CHILDREN?
A SON IN ENGLAND
AND A DAUGHTER.
HER NAME?
PHONE NUMBER?
[sighing]
I CAN'T REMEMBER.
WE MUST INFORM SOMEONE.
BETTER FIND MY WIFE.
[sighing]
IF I DIE WITHOUT TELLING HER,
SHE'LL NEVER FORGIVE ME.
(operator #1)
ALLO, NEW YORK?
J'AI MADAME LEAR, ICI.
(operator #2)
MR. KNAPP, GO AHEAD.
(Barney)
MARTHA?
BARNEY, WHAT IS IT?
WELL, IT'S THAT HAL
IS FEELING A LITTLE...
HE HAD THIS LITTLE...
HEART ATTACK?
IT'S NOTHING MUCH.
YOU'RE LYING TO ME.
NO, I'M TELLING YOU
HE'S COMPLAINING BECAUSE
HE CAN'T PLAY TENNIS TOMORROW.
I'M GETTING
THE NEXT PLANE BACK.
WHAT HOSPITAL?
STUYVESANT.
(woman)
STUYVESANT MEDICAL CENTER.
MATERNITY.
(Martha)
OH, NO. MY HUSBAND
HAD A HEART ATTACK.
WELL, THEN HE WOULDN'T BE
IN MATERNITY. I'LL SWITCH
YOU TO CORONARY CARE.
(Martha)
MILD? DID YOU SAY MILD?
(doctor)
NO. I SAID MYO.
YOUR HUSBAND HAS SUFFERED
A MASSIVE
MYOCARDIAL INFARCTION.
IS HE DYING?
IS HE IN PAIN?
HE'S RESTING COMFORTABLY,
BUT IT'S TOO EARLY TO--
CAN I POSSIBLY
SPEAK TO HIM?
I DON'T KNOW.
HOLD ON.
(Harold)
HI, DARLING.
HOW ARE YOU?
OH, HAL.
[sniffling]
I'M FINE.
I'LL BE HOME TOMORROW.
WELL, IF YOU'VE HAD IWITH THOSE LATIN LOVERS.
[chuckling]
I BETTER HANG UP NOW.
I LOVE YOU.
[people chattering]
[glasses clanking]
I'M NOT THE KIND OF GIRL
WHO KISSES
ON THE FIRST DATE.
NO.
IN A RESORT TOWN.
IN A BAR.
LET'S GET THE HELL
OUT OF HERE.
MRS. LEAR,
GLAD TO HAVE YOU BACK.
THANK YOU. WILL YOU TAKE
THEM UP? I'M GOING RIGHTO THE HOSPITAL.
SURE, GIVE THE DOCTOR
MY BEST.
THANK YOU, I WILL.
[horn honking]
ENOUGH OF THIS FOOLING AROUND.
LET'S GET MARRIED.
[woman sobbing]
YOU'RE SPEECHLESS,
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
ECSTASY?
TERROR.
IT'S ONLY BEEN A MONTH.
(man)
I WILL GO.
A DOCTOR?
FREE EXAMINATIONS.
[chuckles]
DIVORCED WITH 2 CHILDREN.
MY KIDS WILL LOVE YOU.
LIVING IN THE BOONDOCKS.
ANYTHING BUT NEW YORK
IS THE BOONDOCKS.
(man)
SHUSH.
[whispering]
I'M NOT READY.
WHAT'S SO IMPORTANABOUT NEW YORK?
WORK.
THEATRE,
ART,
MUSEUMS.
PEOPLE IN THE STREET, TAXIS,
NOISE, STATUE OF LIBERTY.
EVERYTHING.
EXCEPT YOU.
(woman on intercom)
DR. COOPER'S STAFF.
DR. COOPER'S STAFF.
YOU'RE NEEDED
IN EMERGENCY WARD 4.
[cardiograph beeping]
[sniffles]
PRETTY DUMB?
[sobbing]
DAMN DUMB.
I MISSED YOU.
IT'LL BE ALL RIGHT,
IT'LL BE JUST LIKE IT WAS.
OH.
[Judy sobbing]
(Martha)
JUDY. IT'S O.K.
[phone ringing]
HOW BAD IS IT?
THE NEXT 36 HOURS ARE KEY.
THEY SAID THAT WE'RE JUSGOING TO HAVE TO WAICOME AND SIT DOWN.
LET'S DEAL
WITH WHAT WE CAN.
I ASKED MY DOCTOR,
MOE SILVERMAN,
"WHO DOES THE BESCARDIOLOGY IN NEW YORK?"
MMM-HMM.
(Martha)
WELL, THEN?
HE DOESN'T WORK AT THIS
HOSPITAL BUT HE'S GIVEN ME
SOME NAMES.
AND I'VE WHITTLED IDOWN TO 2.
WERNER AND ROBERTS.
BOTH HIGHLY RECOMMENDED
JUDY CAN STAY WITH YOU
TONIGHT, MARTHA.
YEAH, MARK'S GREAWITH THE BABY. I MEAN,
THEY WON'T EVEN MISS ME.
OR YOU CAN COME HOME WITH US.
[sniffling]
NO THANK YOU, REALLY,
ALL OF YOU. I--
I'D RATHER BE BY MYSELF.
[sniffing]
[doorbell ringing]
[crickets chirping]
FIRST IMPRESSION'S IMPORTANT.
DO I LOOK LIKE A DOCTOR?
A PROSPEROUS DOCTOR
FROM HARTFORD?
[dogs barking]
CHIEF OF STAFF?
YEAH, I KNEW
I SHOULD'VE HAVE WORN
THE DAMN BLUE SUIT.
[laughing]
STOP IT.
DADDY, MOM,
THIS IS HAL.
UH,
COME IN, COME IN.
THIS IS FOR YOU.
GOOD EVENING.
[cutlery clinking]
I HOPE MARTHA
CAN COOK LIKE THIS.
[laughing]
YOU DIDN'T ASK FIRST?
I DRINK TO A BRAVE MAN.
AND NOW THE BESTOAST OF ALL.
L'CHAIM. TO LIFE.
L'CHAIM.
HAL, YOU COME WITH ME.
I WANT TO SHOW YOU SOMETHING.
(Harold)
YOU'LL EXCUSE ME?
DO YOU LIKE HIM?
YOU LIKE HIM.
THAT'S WHAT'S IMPORTANT.
I WASN'T LOOKING TO GEMARRIED, YOU KNOW THAT.
AND YOU AND MOM
CERTAINLY NEVER PUSHED ME.
SO WE DID SOMETHING RIGHT.
YOU BROUGHT HOME
A FINE MAN
WHEN YOU WERE READY.
IT'S HERE SOMEWHERE.
[sighs]
OH, HERE IT IS.
I SAVED IT FOR WHEN MARTHA
BROUGHT HOME HER INTENDED.
HERE, READ IT.
"MALDEN, MASSACHUSETTS
SEPTEMBER 14, 1939.
"TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN.
"THIS IS TO CERTIFY
THAT I HAVE EXAMINED
MARTHA WEINMAN,
"AGE 6 AND A HALF,
"AND FOUND HER
TO HAVE A RUPTURED HYMEN,
PROBABLY DUE
TO FALLING OFF A CHAIR."
OH, MY GOD.
"SIGNED, DR. JOSHUA FRIEDMAN."
I TOLD DOCTOR FRIEDMAN.
"WRITE IT OUT."
I'LL SHOW IT TO THE MAN
SHE'S GOING TO MARRY.
THANK YOU MRS. WEINMAN
YOU'RE A WONDERFUL MOTHER.
AND THAT'S WHY YOU HAVE
SUCH A WONDERFUL DAUGHTER.
(doctor)
HE'S HAD A BAD ATTACK,
THERE'S NO DOUBT OF THAT.
WHEN THE HEART MUSCLE'S
BEEN DAMAGED, CERTAIN ENZYMES
ARE RELEASED IN THE BLOOD.
THE LARGER THE QUANTITY,
THE GREATER
THE PRESUMED DAMAGE.
WHAT'S THE NORMAL COUNT?
AND HAL'S?
IT CAN SETTLE DOWN.
(woman on intercom)
DR. CURTIS, PLEASE CALL...
I HAVE SOME QUESTIONS.
CAN A DAMAGED HEART HEAL?
I MEAN, GOOD AS NEW?
SURE BETTER. NEXT.
HIS FAMILY HAS A HISTORY
OF HEART ATTACKS
ON BOTH SIDES.
HOW IMPORTANA FACTOR IS THAT?
IT'S IMPORTANT.
CHANCES OF RECURRENCE?
THERE'S NO TELLING.
BUT YOU MUST HAVE SOME IDEA.
I MEAN, THERE MUST BE STUDIES,
SURELY.
YEAR REPORTS.
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO KNOW
ALL THAT FOR?
DON'T WORRY.
I'LL KEEP YOU INFORMED. AHEM.
(woman on intercom)
DR. JACKSON, OUTSIDE CALL.
[phone ringing]
[phone continues ringing]
[phone ringing]
(man)
STUYVESANT MEDICAL CENTER,
PATIENT INFORMATION.
COULD YOU TELL ME
DR. HAROLD LEAR'S
CONDITION PLEASE?
JUST A MOMENT, PLEASE
[sighs]
CRITICAL BUT SATISFACTORY.
THANK YOU.
[phone hanging up]
[bells tolling]
DON'T FORGET.
IT'S AND OLD HOUSE BUIT HAS GREAT POSSIBILITIES.
AND OF COURSE
9 BEDROOMS.
NOW, IT'S A LITTLE DARK
BUT THAT MAKES IT COZY
AND IT IS ON THE WATER.
YOU KNOW PEOPLE JUSDON'T SELL
THESE LAKESIDE HOUSES
JUST ONE BATHROOM?
WELL, YOU COULD ALWAYS
ADD ANOTHER. I'LL GO CHECK
THE ELECTRICITY.
[whispering]
I LOVE IT.
IT SPEAKS TO US.
YES, IT'S SAYING,
"GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE."
YOU FILL IT WITH
WHITE WHICKER FURNITURE
AND RAG RUGS, HAL,
IT'LL BE GORGEOUS.
IT WILL NEVER BE
GORGEOUS.
OH, LOOK AT THE VIEW.
[bell tolling]
OH, HAL, WE COULD SIOUT HERE AND HAVE DINNERS,
AND WATCH THE SUNSET.
I'LL LEARN TO COOK.
O.K., MUSHY,
WE'LL MAKE AN OFFER.
[laughing]
I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE
WE GOT IT.
I MEAN, YOU WERE
ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT.
I MADE A LOW OFFER
SHE TOOK IT.
THAT WORRIES ME.
UH, SAY, ARE YOU THE FOLKS
BUYING THE OLD EDWARDS HOUSE?
(both)
YES.
THANK YOU.
GUESS SHE TOLD YOU
'BOUT THE LEAKY ROOF.
DROVE 'EM CRAZY.
WELL, GOOD LUCK.
GORGEOUS.
YES, I'D LIKE TO KNOW
DR. HAROLD LEAR'S CONDITION
THIS MORNING.
(man)
JUST A MOMENT.
FAIR.
FAIR?
DID YOU SAY FAIR?
YOU'VE HAD A SHAVE!
[cardiograph beeping]
I FEEL TERRIFIC.
WHAT AM I DOING HERE?
THERE MUST BE SOME MISTAKE.
OH, YOU THINK SO, HUH?
WELL, LETS SEE.
WHAT--
[cardiograph alarm sounding]
IT'S ALL RIGHT.
IT'S ALL RIGHT.
IT'S ALL RIGHT.
WOW, HAVE I HAD
A HEART ATTACK!
DOC-DOCTOR LEAR.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
CHECKING
MY ELECTROCARDIOGRAM.
[gasps]
WELL, DON'T DO THAT.
YOU'LL GIVE ME
A HEART ATTACK.
[cardiograph beeping]
OH, THANK YOU.
ISN'T SHE TERRIFIC?
I ALWAYS THOUGHT A GOOD NURSE
GIVES PILLS,
YOU KNOW, CHECKS CHARTS
AND THINGS.
BUT WHEN YOU'RE LYING HERE,
YOU SEE IT DIFFERENTLY.
(Harold)
THEY'RE YOUR LIFELINE.
THEY COME AND THEY TOUCH YOU
AND THEY SAY,
"NOW, ISN'T THAT BETTER?"
YOU KNOW WHO ARE A PAIN?
THE WISE-GUY YOUNG DOCTORS.
YOU WANTED TO SEE ME?
YES, I'M ONLY HAVING
LOW-GRADE DISCOMFORI DON'T THINK I NEED A SHOT.
MAYBE SOMETHING MILDER,
ASPIRIN?
YOU CAN HAVE YOUR
PAIN MEDICATION.
THERE'S NOTHING ELSE ORDERED
BUT...
(Harold)
YOU KNOW WHAT THE GAME IS.
DON'T MAKE WAVES.
DON'T CHALLENGE
THE DOCTOR'S AUTHORITY.
THOSE X-RAYS WERE ORDERED.
WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO?
CAUSE TROUBLE?
WHAT? WHAT?
YOU GOT NO RIGHTO CALL DOWN
TO X-RAY AND TALK TO
MY PEOPLE DOWN THERE--
YOU GOT THE WRONG ROOM.
WELL, WHAT IF IT WAS THE RIGHROOM? IS THAT ANY WAY TO TALK
TO A CARDIAC PATIENT?
ANY PATIENT?
WHAT ARE THEY TEACHING YOU
IN MEDICAL SCHOOL, ARROGANCE?
THIS IS A HOSPITAL ROOM,
212 HARD-EARNED BUCKS A DAY!
THE NEXT TIME YOU COME IN
HERE, YOU KNOCK.
(Harold)
I WILL NOT BE TREATED
LIKE AN IDIOT.
(Martha)
HAL, DON'T GET EXITED.
DAMN IT!
BRING ME MY SAWED-OFF JEANS!
YOU REALIZE THE A.M.A.
COULD BRING YOU UP ON CHARGES
FOR THIS OUTFIT.
GO AHEAD AND TRY.
MAN, THOSE ARE
SOME SANDALS, DR. LEAR.
I'VE ALWAYS THOUGHT SO.
(Martha)
ISN'T THE SUN DECK TOO FAR?
(Harold)
PROBABLY.
(woman on intercom)
DR. BURROWS,
PLEASE CALL 1-2-5 WEST.
(doctor)
I'M DISCHARGING HIM
ON SUNDAY.
(Martha)
OH, WONDERFUL.
LET'S GO OVER
THE INSTRUCTIONS.
LOW-SODIUM DIET,
ABSOLUTELY NO SMOKING,
EXERCISE. HE CAN BEGIN
BY WALKING A BLOCK
OR SO EVERY DAY.
HE SHOULD BE ABLE
TO START WORKING PART-TIME
IN 3 WEEKS,
FULL-TIME IN 6 WEEKS.
ANY QUESTIONS?
WHEN CAN I STARHAVING WET DREAMS?
I WANT TO SEEN HIM
IN MY OFFICE A WEEK
FROM MONDAY.
[coughs]
WHY CAN'T THAT JACKASS TALK
TO ME? I'M SITTING RIGHT HERE.
MY GOD,
WAS I LIKE THAT?
DIDN'T YOU HEAR?
YOU'RE GOING HOME.
YOU'RE BUYING OUT THE PLACE.
[laughing]
YEAH, FRUIT'S GOOD
FOR MY HUSBAND.
NO SALT.
I GOT TO WATCH IT MYSELF.
OH, I DIDN'T SEE THE MELONS.
HE LOVES THOSE.
I THINK I'LL TAKE A COUPLE.
I'LL GET YOU ANOTHER BAG.
[siren wailing]
THIS MAN IS DEAD.
KEEP WORKING.
DADDY, HOW COULD YOU DO THAT?
DADDY, YOU PROMISED ME!
[sobbing]
DADDY, DON'T DIE!
DON'T YOU...
NO DADDY, PLEASE!
[siren continues wailing]
(Walter)
YOU'LL DRIVE YOURSELF CRAZY.
I KNOW.
I EVEN WATCH HIM
WHEN HE'S SLEEPING.
YESTERDAY, I ACTUALLY HELD
A MIRROR UNDER HIS NOSE.
HE WOKE AND SAW ME
AND SAID, "WHAT ARE YOU
AFRAID OF? CRIB DEATH?"
[people chattering]
ANYWAY, HE'S HOME.
AND THAT'S GOOD.
MMM-HMM.
AND NOT SO GOOD
FOR YOU.
HE HAS TO STOP SMOKING
SO I'M TRYING, TOO.
PROOFS LOOK PRETTY GOOD.
PRETTY GOOD PIECE.
RUNNING IT A WEEK
FROM SUNDAY.
NOW, HOW ABOUANOTHER ASSIGNMENT?
DO YOU HAVE ANY GUM?
MARTHA, YOU'RE GOING
TO NEED SOME RELIEF.
YOU'VE GOT TO KEEP WORKING.
YOU KNOW, I WANT TO.
BUT I CAN'T.
THE MIND HAS A--A MIND
OF ITS OWN, IT SEEMS.
ALL RIGHT.
DON'T FIGHT IT, GO WITH IT.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
WELL, YOU'RE A JOURNALIST.
PUT DOWN WHAT'S HAPPENING.
WHAT YOU'RE THINKING.
LET IT ALL SPILL OUT.
YOU MEAN LIVE IALL OVER AGAIN.
ONCE IS ENOUGH.
WHAT HE'S SAYING.
WHAT HE'S SAYING.
WHAT HE'S SAYING IS
THAT WHEN A DOCTOR
BECOMES A PATIENT,
HIS PERCEPTIONS
TURN INSIDE OUT.
SEE?
NOW, THAT'S GOOD.
THAT'S VERY GOOD.
WHO KNOWS? I MIGHT WANTO USE IT IN THE MAGAZINE.
YOU'RE A CON ARTIST,
BUT LOVABLE.
[metallic clanging]
[blowing]
I COULDN'T SLEEP.
YOU'RE WORKING?
NOTES.
WALTER SAYS I OUGHT TO
WRITE DOWN EVERYTHING
THAT'S HAPPENING
AND HOW WE FEEL ABOUT IT.
GOOD IDEA.
SOMETIMES I COULD TAPE US.
YEAH, WELL, WHY DON'YOU PUT DOWN, UM,
"EVERY DOCTOR
SHOULD SPEND AT LEAS"ONE WEEK A YEAR
IN A HOSPITAL BED.
THAT'D CHANGE A FEW THINGS,
IN A HURRY."
[laughing]
YEAH.
I KNOW ABOUT THE BOOKSHELF,
AND THE CHINA SOUP TUREEN.
I AM TRYING TO STOP.
I TRULY AM TRYING.
I KNOW, MUSHY, I KNOW.
YOU SMELL GOOD SMOKY.
SEXY.
DO YOU...
DO YOU WANTO REST A MINUTE?
OH, GOD.
[people chattering]
HOW DO YOU LIKE
MICHELLE'S FOOD?
SHE'S THE NEW CATERER.
TERRIFIC.
IF SHE'S SINGLE,
I'LL MARRY HER.
[all laughing]
EVERYONE'S SO HAPPY
TO SEE HAL.
HE LOOKS MARVELOUS.
OH, DON'T LIE, FLO.
HE DOESN'T.
I'M SORRY.
IT'S O.K.
IT'S HIS FIRST NIGHT OUT.
LISTEN, I'VE SEEN YOU
LOOKING BETTER, TOO.
EVEN WHEN MARTHA LOOKS BAD,
SHE LOOKS GOOD.
THANK YOU, CARL.
I CAN USE THAT.
WHERE DID YOU SEE HAL?
HE WAS JUSAT THE BUFFET TABLE.
IT'S A ROUGH SCENE, MARTHA.
YOU HAVE TO DEAL
WITH A LOT OF ANGER.
WHY DON'T YOU COME BACK
TO THE WOMAN'S GROUP
AND GET RID
OF SOME OF IT?
(Carl)
OR PICK UP A LITTLE.
WHAT KIND OF
A LOUSY REMARK IS THAT?
IT WAS A JOKE,
FOR PETE'S SAKE.
ANYWAY, WE COULD USE
YOUR INPUT.
A FEW OF US FREELANCERS
WANT TO SET UP A MEETING
WITH THE PAPER.
YOU KNOW HOW THE MAGAZINE
SECTION IS ON WOMEN'S ISSUES.
EXCUSE ME, I'M GONNA
JUST GO SEE
IF I CAN FIND HAL.
OH, THERE YOU ARE.
MARTHA.
MARTHA.
EVENING, MRS. LEAR.
(Harold)
MARTHA. GOOD EVENING, FRED.
WHAT'S ALL THE FUSS ABOUT?
SO, I SMOKED A CIGARETTE.
ONE? YOU MUST HAVE BEEN
SMOKING ALL THIS TIME.
(Harold)
NO.
IT'S JUST LIKE MY FATHER.
"I WON'T SMOKE, MARTHA.
I KNOW IT COULD KILL ME."
AND ALL THE TIME
SNEAKING CIGARETTES
UNTIL THE DAY HE DIED.
I AM NOT YOUR FATHER.
YOU'RE A DOCTOR.
YOU SHOULD KNOW BETTER!
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
SO I SMOKE.
WHATEVER, WHENEVER.
I PICK UP BUTTS
OUT OF THE GUTTER.
THAT'S SICK.
YOU SHOULD SEE A SHRINK.
MAYBE YOU'RE RIGHT.
MAYBE I SHOULD.
MAKE A CUP.
MMM.
(therapist)
YOU'VE TRIED TO GIVE IT UP?
OH, YES.
AFTER 30 YEARS, IT'S TOUGH.
WELL, HYPNOSIS
CAN BE EFFECTIVE.
SOME PEOPLE, OF COURSE,
RESIST SUGGESTION.
THAT'S WHY I DO
A SINGLE TREATMENT.
IT EITHER WORKS
OR IT DOESN'T.
JUST PUT YOUR HEAD BACK.
(therapist)
NOW ROLL YOUR EYES BACK.
WAY BACK.
EMPTY YOUR MIND.
YOUR EYELIDS
ARE GROWING HEAVY.
VERY HEAVY.
YOU'RE FEELING SLEEPY.
SLEEPY.
SAY THESE WORDS AFTER ME:
"SMOKING IS HARMFUL
TO MY BODY."
SMOKING IS HARMFUL
TO MY BODY.
"I NEED MY BODY
TO LIVE."
I NEED MY BODY TO LIVE.
"I NEED MY LUNGS
TO BREATHE."
I NEED MY LUNGS TO BREATHE.
"CIGARETTE-SMOKING
IS CHOKING MY LUNGS."
CIGARETTE-SMOKING
IS CHOKING MY LUNGS.
"THEREFORE,
I WILL NOT SMOKE."
THEREFORE,
I WILL NOT SMOKE.
"CIGARETTE-SMOKING
IS CHOKING MY LUNGS."
CIGARETTE-SMOKING
IS CHOKING MY LUNGS.
"THEREFORE,
I WILL NOT SMOKE."
THEREFORE,
I WILL NOT SMOKE.
"CIGARETTE-SMOKING
IS CHOKING MY LUNGS."
"THEREFORE, I WILL NOT SMOKE."
"CIGARETTE-SMOKING
IS CHOKING MY LUNGS."
BUT THE DOCTOR WILL
BE BACK IN TO SEE YOU.
THAT WON'T BE NECESSARY.
(secretary)
CAN I GIVE HIM A MESSAGE?
YES. YOU CAN TELL HIM,
IF I'D KNOWN, I WOULD'VE
SENT MY TAPE RECORDER
OVER TO LISTEN
TO HIS TAPE RECORDER.
[horn honking]
(Harold)
WHY DO WE SEE
SUCH A HIGH PERCENTAGE
OF CARDIAC PATIENTS
WHO ARE IMPOTENT SEXUALLY,
WHEN THERE IS NO PHYSIOLOGICAL
BASIS FOR IT?
THE OBVIOUS REASON, WE KNOW,
IS THE FEAR THAT THEY MAY
OVEREXERT THEMSELVES
AND DIE IN THE ACT.
[all chuckling]
BUT HE GOES BEYOND THAT.
THE CARDIAC
NO LONGER SEES HIMSELF
AS THE--
AS THE HARD,
DRIVING MONEY-EARNER,
THE PEACOCK,
THE SWINGER. IMPOTENCE,
STARTS HERE.
AND WHEN WE FAIL
TO DEAL WITH THAT,
BECAUSE OF OUR OWN
HANG-UPS ABOUT SEX,
WE ARE COPPING OUAS DOCTORS.
I'M THINKING OF ADDING
AN EPILOGUE.
"LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, AFTER
EVERYTHING I HAVE SAID TODAY,
"EL PROFESSOR HERE,
"MAKING LOVE TO HIS WIFE,
6 WEEKS AFTER
HIS HEART ATTACK,
WAS ABSOLUTELY SCARED
OUT OF HIS SKULL."
JUST IMAGINE
HOW SCARED SHE WAS.
[people chattering]
THAT NEVER
OCCURRED TO ME.
ROBERT SAYS IT'S O.K. FOR YOU
TO COME BACK TO WORK?
WHAT DOES HE SAY ABOUTHOSE PAINS IN YOUR CHEST?
HEALING PAINS. NORMAL.
NORMAL TO GESHORT OF BREATH
WALKING 20 YARDS?
HE'S A CARDIOLOGIST.
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
I THINK THAT ANYTHING
THAT FEELS THIS BAD
CAN'T BE GOOD.
[sighs]
I THINK I SHOULD GEA SECOND OPINION.
GIFT FROM ONE
OF MY PATIENTS.
[laughing]
NOT BARNEY.
FROM BARNEY I GEOPENING-NIGHT SEATS.
FRONT ROW CENTER,
MIND YOU.
WELL, I ASKED BARNEY
TO CALL YOU,
BECAUSE I WANA TOTALLY INDEPENDENOPINION ON MY CONDITION.
ALL RIGHT.
YOU'VE GOT ROUTS
IN YOUR CHEST.
YOUR LIVER IS ENLARGED
AND TENDER.
YOU'RE IN HEART FAILURE.
HEART FAILURE?
YOUR CARDIOGRAM IS ABNORMAL.
BUT I, UH, CAN'T COMMENT ON IBECAUSE I HAVE
NO BASIS FOR COMPARISON.
DR. ROBERTS DIDN'SEND YOU MY RECORDS?
I ASKED HIM TO.
NO.
IF I WERE YOUR PATIENT,
WHAT WOULD YOU ADVISE?
FROM WHAT I'VE SEEN TODAY,
I'D PUT YOU
ON SOME DIGITALIS
AND A MILD DIURETIC
FOR A COUPLE OF DAYS
AND SEE HOW YOU FELT.
ALL RIGHT. I'D LIKE YOU
TO ORDER THE MEDICATION.
[traffic circulating]
HEY, WHERE ARE MY SKATES?
IF I KEEP FEELING
LIKE THIS, WHY NOT?
I STILL DON'T UNDERSTAND
HOW ROBERTS
COULD'VE MISSED IT.
I MEAN, ANY MEDICAL STUDENWITH A STETHOSCOPE
CAN HEAR FLUID ON THE LUNGS.
WELL, IT'S POSSIBLE
THEY WERE DRY
WHEN HE LISTENED.
HOW COME
YOU'RE APOLOGIZING FOR HIM?
I'M NOT. IT'S JUST...
THE OLD BOY'S
"HYPOCRITIC OATH."
YOUR FEMINIST LIP IS SHOWING.
IN THAT CASE,
MAYBE I WON'T BUY YOU
ONE OF THESE
FOR VALENTINE'S DAY.
HMM. I'D HAVE
TO GROW INTO IT.
OR OUT OF IT.
(woman)
TAKE AN AVERAGE ISSUE OF
THE SUNDAY MAGAZINE SECTION.
ONLY 1 OUT OF 5 FEATURES
WAS WRITTEN BY A WOMAN.
VERY FEW ARE ABOUT WOMEN.
AND OF THOSE, ALMOST NONE
DEALT WITH VALID
WOMEN'S CONCERNS.
WELL, NOW THAT ALL DEPENDS
ON WHAT YOU MEAN BY VALID.
ALL RIGHT, WALTER.
YOU TAKE ME.
I LIKE CLOTHES,
I'M A PRETTY GOOD COOK.
I RUN A HOUSEHOLD.
BUT I'D HATE
TO THINK MY LIFE
IS DEFINED
BY QUICHE RECIPES,
AND FASHION NOTES
FROM PARIS.
WELL, NOW, MARTHA,
YOU'RE NOT TRYING TO
TELL ME THAT YOU'RE TYPICAL?
IS THAT SUPPOSED
TO BE A COMPLIMENT?
[gasping]
[groaning]
CAN I HELP YOU?
NO.
HOLD IT, WALTER.
I DON'T THINK WE SHOULD
BE ADVERSARIES HERE.
THIS MEETING IS NOT MEANTO BE AN ATTACK
ON YOU OR THE PAPER.
IT'S JUST TO PRESENA DIFFERENT POINT OF VIEW.
O.K., O.K.
BUT WOMEN ARE STILL
THE CARETAKERS,
WHETHER YOU LIKE
TO THINK SO OR NOT.
HE'S BEEN DOING EVERYTHING
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO.
HOW COULD IT BE?
DON'T WORRY. AT LEASHE'S IN GOOD HANDS.
LOOKS LIKE ANGINA.
I THINK WE'D BETTER
GET AN ANGIOGRAM.
WHAT'S THAT?
OH, SOME PICTURES.
X-RAY.
OH, COME ON, MOE,
DON'T PATRONIZE HER.
(Harold)
THEY PUSH A CATHETER
UP TO THE FEMORAL ARTERY
INTO THE HEART,
INJECT A DYE AND X-RAY
THE VASCULAR SYSTEM.
BUT YOU JUST HAD
A HEART ATTACK
A FEW MONTHS AGO.
ISN'T THAT DANGEROUS?
SMART.
SMART.
(Harold)
NOT ENOUGH DYE,
YOU DON'T GET GOOD PICTURES.
TOO MUCH AND...
A MORTALITY RATE
OF, WHAT, 5%?
LOOK, WE'RE TALKING ABOUMANHATTAN GENERAL,
WITH MAYBE THE BESANGIOGRAPHER IN THE COUNTRY.
AND WHAT ARE
HIS MORTALITY RATES?
MOE, IF YOU WAITED A WHILE,
THE PAIN MIGHT GO AWAY?
(Moe)
IT WON'T.
IT'LL GET WORSE.
PRETTY SOON
HE WON'T BE ABLE TO WALK.
OR LEAVE THE HOUSE.
(Moe)
I THINK IT'S A MISTAKE.
BUT YOU'RE A DOCTOR.
YOU'VE GOT A RIGHTO MAKE YOUR OWN MISTAKES.
(Moe)
YOU KNOW WHERE I AM.
[sighing]
[sighing]
A CORONARY'S A CORONARY.
YOU COPE,
YOU DEAL WITH IT.
YOU HOPE TO HELL
YOU SURVIVE IT.
THE THING HERE IS,
I'VE GOT A CHOICE.
IT'S KIND OF LIKE,
A GUY ON THE BATTLEFIELD
SAID, WITH THE SHELLS
BURSTING ALL AROUND:
"A PERSON COULD
GET KILLED HERE."
HMM.
HONEY.
IT'S A JOKE.
SO HOW COME
WE'RE NOT LAUGHING?
[beeping]
(Dr. Stark)
DR. LEAR.
I'M DR. STARK
AND I'LL BE
DOING THE PROCEDURE.
HELLO, DOCTOR.
I'VE NEVER SEEN
ANY OF THIS
LYING DOWN BEFORE.
YOU'LL BE GETTING
SOME TRANQUILIZER
IN A MINUTE.
BUT WE CAN GET STARTED.
YOU'RE LOOKING FOR
THE FEMORAL ARTERY?
YES.
IS THE TROCAR GOING IN?
MMM-HMM.
OH! I FELT THE PRESSURE.
GOOD HIT?
(Dr. Stark)
MMM.
[machines buzzing]
[sighs]
(Harold)
THERE I AM, LIVE ON T.V.
[beeping continues]
I'LL BE DAMNED.
THERE'S MY HEART.
WE'RE GOING TO
INJECT SOME DYE NOW.
(Dr. Stark)
YOU MAY FEEL A FLUSH.
FEELING IT?
(Harold)
YEAH.
IT'S LIKE
I'M ON FIRE INSIDE.
[moaning]
I'M HAVING PAIN.
[panting]
MASSIVE PAIN!
[rapid beeping]
(Harold)
THEN I THOUGHT,
"IS THIS IT?
WHAT A DUMB WAY TO DIE!"
WELL.
THEN IT GOA LITTLE LESS,
AND LESS, AND...
LIKE WAVES
GOING OUT TO SEA.
[chuckles]
AND,
YOU WON'T BELIEVE THIS,
THAT'S WHEN THEY
GOT AROUND TO GIVING ME
THE DAMN TRANQUILIZER.
[laughing]
[sobbing]
(man on intercom)
WILL MR. MICHAEL LEAR COME
TO THE INFORMATION COUNTER
IN THE MAIN TERMINAL, PLEASE.
MARTHA.
OH! I WAS AFRAID
I MISSED YOU, THEY SAID
YOUR PLANE GOT IN EARLY.
IT WAS PUSHING
ALL THE WAY.
HERE, LET ME
TAKE THAT ONE.
CAN YOU STAY A WHILE?
WELL, I HAVE TO GO
BACK FOR MY FINALS.
THEN I'M HOME FOR GOOD.
I DECIDED TO FINISH
MY DOCTORATE HERE.
OH, MIKE!
HE WILL BE SO PLEASED!
HOW IS HE?
THE CORONARY ARTERIES
ARE A DISASTER AREA.
THEY CAN'T EVEN FIND
ONE OF THEM
ON THE ANGIOGRAM.
THE OTHER 2
ARE LIKE RUSTY PIPES.
WHY DON'T THEY
HAVE SOMETHING LIKE
DRANO FOR PEOPLE?
[chuckles]
GIVE THEM TIME,
THEY WILL.
DO THEY WANTO DO A BYPASS?
THEY HAVE TO.
TOMORROW.
THEY FOUND
AN ANEURYSM. HUGE.
APPARENTLY HE'S BEEN
WALKING AROUND WITH
A TIME-BOMB INSIDE HIM.
I'M SO GLAD
YOU'RE HERE.
BARNEY, I'M SORRY,
BUT THIS IS...
[all cheering]
PERFECT, PERFECT!
[all chattering]
(Barney)
WE ARE CELEBRATING
2 OPENINGS!
(Harold)
2? I KNOW ABOUT MINE.
MMM. AND MINE.
THURSDAY NIGHIN PHILADELPHIA.
[all exclaiming]
AND LONG RUNS.
DADDY AND BARNEY.
HONEY, ARE YOU GETTING
ALL OF THIS DOWN?
YOU KNOW, MARTHA'S KEEPING
A RECORD OF THE WHOLE THING.
YEAH, I BET THERE'S
A BOOK IN IT.
AND YOU'LL
DO THE MUSICAL.
[all laughing]
(Moe)
THE LEFT LEG WAS INCISED.
A LONG PIECE OF SAPHENOUS VEIN
WAS ISOLATED AND REMOVED.
THE CHEST WAS OPENED,
THE HEARELECTRICALLY FIBRILLATED.
WITH THE BODY
TEMPERATURE REDUCED,
WE OPENED THE
CIRCUMFLEX ARTERY
AND ANASTAMOSED THE VEIN.
THE HEART WAS THEN REPLACED
IN ITS NORMAL POSITION.
A LEFT VENTRICULAR ANEURYSM
WAS EXCLUDED FROM THE
REMAINING PORTION
OF THE VENTRICLE.
THE PATIENT CAME OFF
THE HEART LINE MACHINE
WITHOUT DIFFICULTY.
THE CHEST WAS CLOSED
IN THE USUAL FASHION.
[water running]
(Moe)
IT'S FINISHED!
HE'S BEEN IN
THE RECOVERY ROOM
ABOUT 15 MINUTES.
AND?
OH, HE'S ALL RIGHT.
HE'S ALL RIGHT.
IT WAS ONE HELL
OF A MASSIVE OPERATION,
OF COURSE.
BUT WHERE'S BARNEY?
OH, THAT'S RIGHT.
PHILADELPHIA.
HOW'S IT GOING?
HE'S O.K.
O.K.
I MEAN, CONSIDERING...
BELL DID A BEAUTIFUL JOB.
OH, I TOLD BARNEY
I'D TRY TO GEDOWN THERE ONE NIGHT.
I COULD TAKE
THE METROLINER
ON WEDNESDAY AND--
WOULD YOU FORGET ABOUTHE METROLINER
AND TELL US ABOUT HAL?
BUT I'M TELLING YOU!
OH, HERE'S DR. BELL NOW.
(Michael)
IS HE OUT OF DANGER?
WELL, WE'RE HAVING
SOME PROBLEM
WITH HIS BLOOD PRESSURE.
WELL, IT'S A LITTLE LOW,
BUT--
(Dr. Bell)
IF WE CAN KEEP THE PRESSURE UP
THROUGH THE NIGHT--
I WANNA SEE HIM.
WELL, HE WON'T BE
AWAKE FOR SOME TIME.
I'LL WAIT.
OH, UH, MARTHA,
HE'S EMBARRASSED FOR
YOU TO SEE HIM WITH ALL
THE TUBES AND THE NEEDLES--
EMBARRASSED?
WHAT'S GOING ON?
WHAT ARE YOU
HIDING FROM ME?
NOBODY'S HIDING ANYTHING!
ALL RIGHT,
ALL RIGHT.
[medical instruments beeping]
[gasps]
HE'S DEAD!
(Moe)
NO, HE'S NOT DEAD.
(Martha)
HE'S DEAD!
COME HERE.
HAL!
HAL, YOUR WIFE IS HERE.
SHE'S WORRIED ABOUT YOU.
(Moe)
GIVE HER A SIGN THAYOU'RE ALL RIGHT, O.K.?
[beeping accelerates]
OH, MY GOD.
HE WINKED AT ME.
NOW, DIDN'T I TELL YOU?
[chuckles]
[sniffs]
COME ON.
[beeping continues]
[Martha muffled]
DARLING.
I'M HERE.
DAD?
(Moe)
WE'RE GETTING RID OF THIS
TUBE IN YOUR THROAT.
(Harold)
AM I IN ICE?
YOUR TEMPERATURE
IS OVER 104, DR. LEAR.
WE'RE RUNNING COLD WATER
THROUGH THE BLANKET.
[beeping continues]
(Harold)
WHAT DAY IS IT?
IT'S FRIDAY.
YOU'VE BEEN HERE 6 DAYS.
WHAT HAPPENED?
WE DON'T KNOW.
YOU'RE BLOOD PRESSURE
HAS BEEN NON-EXISTENT.
WE'VE BEEN FIGHTING
FOR YOUR LIFE.
HOW ARE YOU DOING?
WE'RE WINNING.
[doorbell buzzing]
WE'RE JUSWORKING OUR WAY
THROUGH COLLEGE, LADY.
[chuckles]
AH! AH, AH, CAREFUL!
EASY, IT'S JUST A KISS.
I CAN'T WAIT TO GETO MY OWN BED.
HOW DOES HE SEEM?
WEAK.
HE SEEMS O.K.
(Harold)
OH, WOW! I DON'T BELIEVE IT!
AFTER 13 YEARS,
WE HAVE A BEDSPREAD.
WELL, ISN'T THAT WHAYOU SAID YOU WANTED
FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY?
ANOTHER BIRTHDAY?
WHEN IS IT?
YOU MEAN WHEN WAS IT.
YESTERDAY. REMEMBER,
THE NURSES CAME IN,
SANG HAPPY BIRTHDAY,
AND YOU SAID,
"THEY WERE ALL OFF KEY"?
I DID?
HERE'S ANOTHER
PRESENT FOR YOU.
OH, MICHAEL!
THIS IS FANTASTIC.
WELL, YOU ALWAYS ENJOYED
SCULPTING, BUT YOU
NEVER HAD THE TIME.
WELL, NOW I'VE GOPLENTY OF TIME.
[paper rustling]
I NEED A LITTLE BONING UP.
[chuckles]
"THE CLAY..." D-O-E-S.
THAT'S FUNNY-LOOKING.
(Harold)
"D-O" IS "DO,"
"D-O-E" IS A "DOE,"
"D-O-E-S" IS...
WHAT, A BUNCH OF LITTLE DEER?
[Michael chuckles]
(Martha)
YOU'RE NOT JOKING?
"THE CLAY DOES HARDEN
UNLESS KEPT MOIST."
OH, "DOES"!
[laughing]
WELL, WHY DIDN'THEY SAY SO?
I'LL MAKE US SOME TEA.
YOU COULD USE THE TERRACE
AS A STUDIO IN THE SUMMER.
I'M GOING TO THE...
LAKE THIS SUMMER.
(Moe)
EXACTLY WHAT KIND
OF THINGS?
(Harold)
MY HANDWRITING LOOKS ODD.
AND WORDS, I CAN'T GET A...
FIX ON THEM.
(Moe)
THINGS OFTEN HAPPEN
AFTER THIS SURGERY.
SOME AIR MAY GETO THE BRAIN.
(Harold)
BUT IT'S BEEN WEEKS.
(Moe)
WELL, IT TAKES TIME.
(Harold)
MOE, I CAN'T EVEN
FIND YOUR...OFFICE.
[Moe chuckling]
THAT'S EASY.
YOU'VE HAD ENOUGH OF ME!
(Harold)
SOMETHING'S WRONG
WITH MY MIND.
(Moe)
WELL, WE'RE ALL
GETTING OLDER.
I DON'T WANT ANY OF
HIS DAMN DOUBLE TALK.
I DON'T NEED TO BE JOLLIED,
I NEED HIM TO LISTEN.
YOU WANNA TRY TO
EXPLAIN IT TO ME?
WAIT.
[sighs]
O.K.
IS IT LIKE VERTIGO?
NO, NO VERTIGO
IS WHERE...
YOU STAND STILL
AND THE WORLD SPINS.
AND WITH ME...
THE WORLD STANDS STILL
AND I SPIN.
DO YOU UNDERSTAND?
[sighing]
I CAN SEE THEM TURNING OFF,
MOE AND BELL.
IT'S JUST TOO THREATENING
FOR THEM TO ADMIT...
THERE'S BRAIN DAMAGE.
OH, HAL.
I THINK I SHOULD HAVE A
NEUROLOGICAL CONSULTATION.
MAYBE YOU SHOULD
SEE A PSYCHIATRIST.
YOU THINK I FORGEBECAUSE I WANT TO?
NO, HAL, THAT'S NOWHAT I MEANT.
[exclaiming]
WHAT'S HAPPENING TO ME?
[sighs]
[breathing heavily]
[moans]
C-COLD!
[moaning]
HAL, OPEN YOUR MOUTH.
OPEN YOUR MOUTH.
HELP ME.
UNDER THE TONGUE.
THAT'S IT.
[sighing]
[ringing]
(receptionist)
DOCTOR'S OFFICE.
YES, IT'S MRS. HAROLD LEAR.
I NEED TO TALK
TO DR. SILVERMAN.
DR. SILVERMAN'S OFF TONIGHT,
DR. WARREN'S COVERING.
WOULD YOU PUME THROUGH, PLEASE?
[sighs]
(Dr. Warren)
HELLO?
OH, DR. WARREN.
MY HUSBAND IS A PATIENOF DR. SILVERMAN'S.
HE HAD CARDIAC SURGERY
4 MONTHS AGO.
HE HAS A TEMPERATURE OF 105
AND HE'S SHAKING WITH CHILLS.
WHAT KIND OF CARDIAC SURGERY?
DOUBLE BYPASS.
WHAT MEDICATION
HAS HE BEEN TAKING?
PLEASE, HE HAS 105!
YOU'D BETTER GET HIM
TO THE HOSPITAL.
WHAT HOSPITAL?
MANHATTAN GENERAL.
BUT YOU TAKE HIM
TO EMERGENCY.
THEY'LL KNOW WHAT TO DO.
AND YOU CALL ME
IN THE MORNING.
[clicks]
YE--
NO, NO, NO.
NO H-HOSPITAL!
WE HAVE TO.
COME ON, WE HAVE TO.
I CAN'T. I CAN'T MAKE IT!
[whimpers]
[whispers]
WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?
ASPIRIN! ASPIRIN.
AND KEEP ME WARM.
[moans]
[Harold coughing]
HERE WE GO.
EASY.
EASY, EASY, EASY.
[coughs]
[shivering]
DON'T DIE.
OH, PLEASE DON'T DIE.
DON'T DIE.
DADDY, DON'T DIE.
PLEASE, PLEASE,
DON'T DIE.
[phone rings]
[grunts]
HELLO?
(Moe)
MARTHA?
OH, MOE.
MARTHA, WHAT'S HAPPENING?
I JUST CHECKED
WITH DR. WARREN.
MOE, YOU'VE GOT TO DO
SOMETHING. YOU'VE JUST GOT TO.
ALL RIGHT, I SHOULD
RUN TESTS BUT...
I'LL TAKE A CHANCE.
I'LL START HIM ON STEROIDS,
PREDNISONE.
TWENTY MILLIGRAMS.
Q-I-D FOR 2 WEEKS
AND MAKE SURE YOU CALL ME
EVERY MORNING. LET ME KNOW
HOW HE FEELS.
[Harold whistling]
[snaps fingers]
EVERY DAY,
YOU'RE GETTING BETTER.
IT'S A MIRACLE.
I CAN FEEL THE STRENGTH
COMING BACK.
I CAN FEEL ALL THE JUICES
STARTING TO FLOW AGAIN.
AND I MEAN ALL THE JUICES.
[sighs]
HAPPY VALENTINE'S...
DAY.
DON'T KNOCK IT.
IT'S TERRIFIC.
(Martha)
YOU WANT TO TALK
ABOUT THIS?
I'VE GOT TO TONE UP
THE ARMS.
I KNEW I'D FIND A USE
FOR THESE MEDICAL BOOKS.
I'M SURE THE PUBLISHER
WOULD BE THRILLED
WITH THAT ENDORSEMENT.
I DID A GREAT NEW EXERCISE
YESTERDAY.
WHAT WAS IT?
I CAN'T REMEMBER.
I'D LIKE TO DO
SOME WORD ASSOCIATION.
I'LL
SHOW YOU A WORD,
GIVE YOU THE ASSOCIATION,
AND THEN YOU REPEAT IBACK TO ME.
FINGER, HAND.
RADIATOR, GREEN.
SALT, PEPPER.
ROCK, SHOE.
NOW YOU TELL ME. FINGER?
HAND.
(doctor)
RADIATOR?
HOT.
UH, NO. UH...
UH, PEPPER.
I'M SORRY.
I UNDERSTAND.
IT'S BEEN A TOUGH
COUPLE OF DAYS
AND A LOT OF TESTS.
TOMORROW AGAIN?
YOUR DIAGNOSIS
OF YOUR PROBLEM IS...
VERY ACCURATE, DR. LEAR.
(doctor)
YOU HAVE ORGANIC BRAIN DAMAGE.
IS...IT REVERSIBLE?
COMPENSATORY,
BUT NOT REVERSIBLE.
THAT MEANS THAT...
I CAN'T WORK ANYMORE.
NOT THE WAY YOU USED TO.
DO YOU WANT ME TO SEND
THE FULL REPORT TO ANY DOCTOR?
NO, NO, JUST SEND IT TO ME.
[classical music playing]
[inaudible]
[door opening]
(Martha)
HELLO, HELLO?
YEAH, I'M IN HERE.
[door closing]
YOU CAN'T IMAGINE
HOW SPECTACULAR
THE MOZART WAS.
I'M SO GLAD YOU MADE ME GO.
WHAT ARE YOU READING?
THE OPERATING-ROOM
NOTES OF MY...
BYPASS SURGERY.
UH, I ASKED FOR A COPY.
[sighs]
I HAD
A SECOND HEART ATTACK.
DOES IT SAY THAT?
NO, BUT IT MUST HAVE
HAPPENED IMMEDIATELY
AFTER IN THE RECOVERY ROOM.
WHAT MAKES YOU THINK SO?
WELL, IT HAD TO BE.
IT FITS.
I LEFT THE OPERATING ROOM
WITH NORMAL BLOOD PRESSURE.
ALL MY LIFE SIGNS WERE...
STABLE.
BELL SAID I WOULD BE
IN I.C.U. 2 DAYS.
I WAS IN THERE FOR 9.
I CAME OUT WITH A CHUNK
OF MY BRAIN DEAD AND
ENOUGH OF MY HEART MUSCLE
GONE THAT I--
I NEVER HAD A CHANCE
TO GET WELL.
YOU'RE NOT SURPRISED.
YOU KNEW.
MOE FELT IT WAS BESNOT TO UPSET YOU.
I SEE.
YOU PUT YOUR HEADS TOGETHER
AND DECIDED
WHAT I SHOULD KNOW.
HAL, WHAT POSSIBLE GOOD
COULD IT HAVE DONE
FOR YOU TO KNOW?
WHAT GOOD?
I'VE BEEN LIVING ALL THIS TIME
UNDER THE WRONG HYPOTHESES.
I HAD PRESUMED THAT THEY FOUND
A TERRIBLE HEARAND I WAS LUCKY TO COME OFF
THE TABLE ALIVE.
NOW I FIND OUT MY HEARWASN'T SO TERRIBLE.
IN 6 MONTHS, I SHOULD HAVE
BEEN ABLE TO SWIM A MILE,
TO JOG, TO--TO WORK.
AND...
I WAS SO CLOSE.
I WAS THERE.
BUT YOU HAD ANOTHER ATTACK.
WELL, WHY DIDN'T HE TELL
ME THAT? THE TRUTH WOULD
HAVE BEEN EASIER!
HAL, DON'T GET EXCITED.
IT'S NOT GOOD FOR YOU.
HOW DO YOU KNOW
WHAT'S GOOD FOR ME?
IS IT GOOD FOR ME
TO PICK UP THESE BOOKS?
TO MOVE THIS?
TO PICK UP THIS TYPEWRITER?
IS THAT WHAT'S GOING
TO KILL ME?
HAL, STOP IT, PLEASE, NOW.
DOUBLE TALK!
DOUBLE TALK, THAT'S ALL
I GET FROM HIM.
HE LOOKS AT MY CARDIOGRAM
AND HE SAYS, "STABLE."
IF I'M SO STABLE, WHY DO I
FEEL GOOD TODAY AND YESTERDAY
I COULDN'T EVEN BREATHE?
YOU KNOW, JUST ONCE,
JUST ONCE I WOULD LIKE FOR HIM
TO SAY, "I DO NOT KNOW."
BUT WHAT I GET FROM HIM IS,
"YOU'RE ALWAYS TRYING
TO DO TOO MUCH."
I-IT'S YOUR FAULT, YOUR FAULT,
NEVER THEIRS.
ALL RIGHT, I KNOW
YOU'RE IN A RAGE
AT YOUR SICKNESS,
AT THE DOCTORS
AND I UNDERSTAND, HAL.
I REALLY DO.
IF IT WERE HAPPENING TO ME--
YES, WE DO!
BECAUSE YOU DON'TAKE IT OUT ON THEM.
YOU BRING IT HOME TO ME,
AND I DON'T KNOW
WHAT TO DO WITH IT.
MY QUARREL ISN'T WITH YOU.
YOU'RE SPLENDID.
DON'T "SPLENDID" ME.
JUST TELL ME WHAT I'M TO DO.
WELL, YELL BACK AT ME
LIKE YOU ALWAYS DO.
DON'T YOU SEE I CAN'T?
BECAUSE YOU'RE...
I DON'T WANT TO HURT YOU.
I NEVER WANT TO HURT YOU.
(Martha)
HE STARTED DRAWING
HIS OWN BLOOD.
HAVING IT ANALYZED.
KEEPING CHARTS.
IT'S THE DOCTOR IN HIM.
TRYING TO UNDERSTAND
THE FEVERS.
THE CRAZY UPS AND DOWNS.
MOE, FEVERS HAVE
TO BE CAUSED BY SOMETHING.
MAYBE I SHOULD GIVE HIM
ANOTHER WORKOUT.
SCHEDULE SOME APPOINTMENTS
FOR DR. LEAR.
IF YOU COULD JUST FIND OUWHY, THEN--THEN YOU COULD
STABILIZE IT.
MARTHA, THIS IS A MAN
WITH A HEART MUSCLE
THAT'S BARELY FUNCTIONING,
AND ANY CHANGE, FOOD,
HEAT, FLUID, ANYTHING,
IS ENOUGH TO UPSEITS BALANCE.
I UNDERSTAND THAT, BUT--
LOOK,
WE'RE NOT GOING TO KEEP HIM
AROUND FOR 10 YEARS.
BUT MAYBE WE CAN HANG ON
FOR A FEW MONTHS.
EVEN A YEAR.
[telephone buzzes]
YES?
ALL RIGHT, I'LL BE READY.
[hangs up telephone]
MARTHA, I HAVE AN EMERGENCY.
(Moe)
I'LL CALL HAL LATER.
O.K.?
[mumbling]
[gasping]
[Harold shushing]
HONEY, IT'S ALL RIGHT,
I'M HERE. I'M HERE.
[panting]
[dog barking]
HMM. SMELLS MUSTY.
IT SMELLS TERRIFIC.
WE MADE IT, KID.
WE'LL HAVE TO MAKE
A GROCERY RUN.
NOT TODAY.
YOU'RE GONNA GET A GREATUNA FISH SANDWICH.
LOOK AT THIS.
THERE'S FRUIT AND CHEESE
IN THERE.
I KNOW WHAT TO DO
WITH THIS.
"EAT AND DRINK UP,
YOU'RE BEHIND A FEW.
BOB AND ANNIE, CHET,
HELEN AND PHIL."
PHIL, TOO? I DIDN'T KNOW
THEY WERE AT THE LAKE.
L'CHAIM.
L'CHAIM.
GRANDMA!
[all laughing]
JUDY, WILL YOU TELL
THIS CHARACTER
THE NAME'S MARTHA?
RIGHT.
GIVE GRANDPA
A HUG THERE.
GIVE ME THE BIGGEST OLD HUG
YOU CAN GIVE ME,
AND THEN WE'RE GOING
TO GO FISHING.
WE'RE FISHING. WE HAVEN'CAUGHT ANYTHING YET,
BUT I'M PRETTY SURE WE WILL.
[bell tolling]
THIS IS A
KITTY CAT,
AND
ME-OH
MEOW.
AND THIS IS THE FELLOW
WITH THE GREAT BIG EYES,
AN OWL.
HOO HOO.
THE CHILD IS A GENIUS.
[Judy giggling]
AND THIS
IS A...
IT'S A...
SHEEP.
BAAAA.
(Harold)
BAAAA.
NOW THIS TABLE,
YOU WON'T BELIEVE THIS,
MY GRANDFATHER WON
IN A CRAP GAME.
[all exclaiming]
I'LL BET YOU DID.
THEY ALWAYS TOLD ME YOU
WON IT IN A POKER GAME.
OH, THAT'S RIGHT.
TABLE STAKES.
[all laughing]
TABLE STAKES?
THAT'S MY CUE.
I HAVE WRITTEN A POEM
FOR HAL.
ANOTHER POEM, ANNIE?
HE'S GOT NO CHOICE.
HE'S A CAPTIVE.
[all laughing]
(Martha)
LET'S HEAR IT.
PLEASE DON'T DANCE
UPON THE TABLE
NOT TO SAY THAYOU'RE NOT ABLE
EXCEPT THAT MARTHA
MIGHT COMPLAIN
IF YOU ACCIDENTALLY
KICK OVER THE CHAMPAGNE
[all chattering]
(Annie)
SO LIGHT THE CANDLES
BANG THE DRUMS
LET THE CELEBRATION STARAND PLEASE ACCEPTHIS ACCOLADE
TO YOUR STRONG
AND TENDER HEARAW, ANNIE.
THAT IS SO NICE!
[all chattering]
(boy)
MOMMY! MOMMY!
I'LL GO.
ARE YOU SURE?
BECAUSE I CAN...
YEAH. IT MIGHT JUST BE HIS
TEDDY OR SOMETHING.
LET MARTHA TAKE CARE
OF THE BABY.
IT'S ALL RIGHT.
[whimpering]
HEY THERE, CHARACTER.
WHAT'S GOING ON?
[whimpering]
OH, NO, NO, NO.
THAT'S O.K.
IT'S O.K.
YOU KNOW WHAT WE'RE
GOING TO DO TOMORROW?
WE'RE GOING TO BAKE
SOME COOKIES.
WHAT KIND DO YOU WANT? HUH?
[whimpering]
SUGAR?
CHOCOLATE?
(boy)
CHOCOLATE.
THERE, THERE, THERE.
GRANDMA'S HERE.
GRANDMA'S HERE.
(Martha)
I WISH WE'D HAD A BABY.
WELL, WE TALKED ABOUT IT.
IT WAS NEVER
THE RIGHT TIME.
I KNOW.
[sniffles]
I JUSWISH.
WHERE IS EVERYBODY?
WELL, MICHAEL'S OUT SAILING,
AND YOUR FATHER'S ASLEEP.
THAT WAS A PRETTY BIG NIGHWE HAD LAST NIGHT, YOU KNOW.
HEY, CHARACTER. DO YOU WANNA
WAIT TILL WE GET THESE BAKED?
[Harold gasping]
MARTHA!
MARTHA!
ARE YOU IN FAILURE?
[panting]
IF I GET A-ANY WORSE,
CALL THE RESCUE SQUAD.
WHAT IS IT?
(Harold)
NOTHING.
NOTHING.
TAKE HIM DOWNSTAIRS, JUDY.
I'LL BE FINE.
I'LL BE READY FOR
YOUR COOKIES.
[panting]
I'M GONNA CALL MOE.
HE'D BETTER INCREASE
YOUR DIURETICS.
OR SHOOT ME.
[oxygen hissing]
AND BE SURE TO PUIN THAT DISHWASHER
FOR NEXT SUMMER.
I'M TIRED OF DISHPAN HANDS.
NAG, NAG, NAG.
HAL, WE'D BETTER GESTARTED FOR THE AIRPORT.
WHERE'S THE RESOF THE BAGS?
NO, I'M JUST TAKING
MY BRIEFCASE
WITH MY SHAVING GEAR.
I'M BRINGING THE REST WHEN
I DRIVE DOWN TOMORROW.
WHEN YOU GET TO
THE AIRPORT,
WILL YOU ASK THEM
TO RADIO AHEAD
FOR A WHEELCHAIR?
WHY NOT A STRETCHER?
HE'S JUST SO
PIGHEADED!
HE INSISTS ON
GOING ALONE.
[bell tolling]
[birds chirping]
I CAN MANAGE.
CALL ME WHEN
YOU GET HOME.
STOP WORRYING,
MUSHY, NOW.
[breathing heavily]
PARDON ME, SIR.
EXCUSE ME,
EXCUSE ME. ARE YOU GOING
TO THE TAXI STAND?
[panting]
EXCUSE ME, SIR.
UH...
I HAVE A HEART PROBLEM,
AND I CAN'T CARRY THIS.
COULD YOU HELP ME?
WHAT KIND
OF HEART PROBLEM?
I HAD SURGERY AND A BYPASS.
HAS HE GOT A SCAR?
YES, MA'AM.
YOU KNOW, SOMEONE COULD BE
CARRYING A BOMB.
YES, I...
REALLY NEVER
THOUGHT OF THAT.
[panting]
[phone ringing]
[phone buzzing]
YES?
(woman)
I'VE GOT MRS. LEAR
ON THE PHONE.
MARTHA! HOW'S THE
WEATHER UP THERE?
(Martha)
MOE, WHAT IS IT?
HE'S HAD A BAD NIGHT.
BUT HE'S FEELING BETTER.
I TOOK AN X-RAY
THIS MORNING.
IT'S NOT GOOD, MARTHA.
(Moe)
HIS HEART'S ENLARGED.
(Martha)
ENLARGED?
(Moe)
THERE'S DETERIORATION
THERE.
ONE OF HIS BYPASSES
MAY BE CLOSED OFF.
I'M BEING STRAIGHWITH YOU.
ALL RIGHT.
LAST SPRING
YOU SAID MONTHS.
HE HAS ALMOST NO
HEART MUSCLE, MARTHA.
BUT YOU MUST HAVE
SOME IDEA OF HOW LONG?
YOU MUST HAVE HAD OTHER
PATIENTS LIKE HIM.
NO.
NO ONE AS BAD AS HE IS
WHO STAYED ALIVE
THIS LONG.
WELCOME HOME.
L'CHAIM.
L'CHAIM.
WHAT DID MOE SAY?
OH, HE SAID,
"TAKE IT EASY."
AND?
HONEY,
NO SHOP TALK, HUH?
THIS IS OUR FIRST NIGHHOME TOGETHER.
I LIKE THOSE PAJAMAS.
WHERE'D I GET THEM?
ITALY?
NO, MEXICO CITY.
REMEMBER THAT LITTLE
SHOP IN THE HOTEL?
OH, SOMEONE CALLED.
I SAID YOU'D
MEET THEM.
WHO?
WHERE?
OH, IT WAS...
ESTELLE?
BARNEY?
LINDA?
JUDY?
NO.
FROM THE TIMES? WALTER?
NO, DAMN IT.
FLO? MY MOTHER?
THAT'S IT. YOUR MOTHER.
SHE'S ARRIVING
WEDNESDAY ON THE
4:00 BUS.
[horn honking]
(Martha)
AND THIS IS
ONE OF THE BESFRENCH RESTAURANTS
IN NEW YORK.
WE HAD TO GET BARNEY TO
MAKE US THE RESERVATIONS.
THAT'S NICE.
MARTHA,
ISN'T THAT FOOD
A LITTLE RICH?
MAYBE MOM WOULD RATHER
SOMETHING ELSE.
CHINESE?
CHINESE IS NICE.
THERE'S THAT TERRIFIC PLACE
DOWN IN THE VILLAGE.
WHAT'S IT--
PEKING INN.
OF COURSE,
IF THEY MAKE ITOO SPICY...
YOU ORDER FOR ME,
MARTHA, LOVE,
YOU KNOW WHAI LIKE.
ALL RIGHT, UH,
CHICKEN MATZO
BALL SOUP
ONE MATZO BALL
IS ENOUGH.
AND A CORNED
BEEF SANDWICH
UH, VERY LEAN.
OR WOULD TONGUE
BE BETTER?
I GUESS THE
CORNED BEEF.
MAKE THAT 2 AND
I'LL HAVE COFFEE.
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
SHOULD I HAVE THE
TURKEY OR SCALLOPS?
EITHER ONE.
I'LL TRY THE SCALLOPS.
(waiter)
YOU WANT TO KNOW THE TRUTH?
THEY'RE FROZEN.
BUT THE SOLE IS NICE.
O.K., THE SOLE.
DIDN'T WE HAVE,
UH, SOLE...
LAST NIGHT?
LAST WEEK.
ANYWAY, I'M NOT TOO
CRAZY ABOUT SOLE.
WAITER! WAITER!
COULD I CHANGE THATO TURKEY, PLEASE?
(waiter)
WHY NOT?
ARE THEY GOING TO BRING
BREAD AND BUTTER?
THEY USUALLY DO.
I SHOULDN'T EAT IT,
THOUGH, SHOULD I?
IF I'M HAVING A SANDWICH?
MAYBE I'D BE
BETTER OFF WITH
THE SOLE.
HONEY, DO YOU MIND IF I
CHANGED MY ORDER AGAIN?
I DON'T GIVE A DAMN
WHAT ANYONE ORDERS!
I'LL BE BACK.
(Harold)
MARTHA!
[sobbing]
YOU DON'T HAVE
TO SAY ANYTHING.
I--
I AM
TRAPPED IN HELPLESSNESS.
YOURS, HERS,
MINE.
GOD, I AM DROWNING
IN IT!
HOW DO YOU
THINK I FEEL?
OH, I AM SO
ASHAMED. GOD!
I DIDN'T MEAN IT.
I COULDN'T.
I COULDN'T.
MUSHY,
I CAN'T ESCAPE.
YOU CAN.
GET AWAY FROM ME.
PLEASE, GO SOMEWHERE.
NO. YOU SHOULD
LEAVE ME.
I WOULD.
I CAN'T WALK!
[sobbing]
[audience laughing
on television]
(woman #1)
YOUR BRIEF AFFAIR
WITH PETER WAS MEANINGFUL.
REMEMBER THAT, THEN.
HOLD ON TO IT.
(woman #2)
BRIEF AFFAIR!
[audience laughing]
MY BRIEF AFFAIR?
MAUDE, I WAS THE BIG LOVE
OF HIS LIFE.
ME. YOU WERE JUST A FLING!
VIVIENNE, I AM TRYING
TO BE KIND,
SO KNOCK IT OFF.
[audience laughing]
YOU'RE FULL OF BULL.
[audience laughing]
VIVIENNE, I CAN ACCEPTHAT COMMENBECAUSE I KNOW IT COMES FROM
A HEART THAT IS BROKEN.
BUT DON'T PUSH IT, OR YOU'LL
HAVE A LEG TO MATCH.
[laughing]
[coughing]
QUICK, GET ANOTHER
CHANNEL.
SOMETHING SAD.
NEWS.
THAT'S TOO SAD.
[coughing]
YOU SURE YOU'RE NOIN FAILURE?
[coughing]
NO. I KNOW
WHEN I'M IN FAILURE.
I'VE BEEN THERE.
MARTHA, GET OFF
THE CASE.
[coughing]
WHAT DOES MOE SAY ABOUTHE WHEEZING AND COUGHING?
"MAYBE A VIRUS.
"GIVE HIM ASPIRIN.
LET'S WATCH IT."
I COULD WRITE THE
DIALOGUE MYSELF.
WOULDN'T HE BE BETTER
OFF IN THE HOSPITAL?
YES!
BUT YOU HEARD HIM.
"MARTHA, GET OFF THE CASE."
I'M SO TIRED OF
BEING A NAG!
SOMETIMES I THINK I'D...
JUST LIKE TO...
FLY AWAY SOMEWHERE.
LOOK, I'M HERE.
FLY!
AT LEAST FOR A COUPLE
OF HOURS.
I MEAN IT.
GO. DO SOMETHING.
ANYTHING.
[all chattering]
$2,500 THIS WAY NOW.
$2000-- AND $3,000.
$3,000 THIS WAY, AT $3,000.
$3,500.
$3,500 ON MY RIGHT NOW,
FOR $3,500.
FOR $3,500!
ON THE RIGHT SIDE. LADY'S BID.
$3,500.
[mallet knocks]
NEXT LOT THIS EVENING
IS A VERY GOOD EXAMPLE
OF VENETIAN GLASS.
A VERY HANDSOME
CHANDELIER,
AS YOU CAN SEE
COMING OUT HERE.
WHAT DO YOU THINK,
FOR THIS PIECE?
HANDSOME LIGHT. $500?
$500 BID THIS WAY AT $500.
$550.
$550 THIS WAY. WE'RE GOING
AT $550. $600.
$600 THIS SIDE OF THE ROOM.
IT'S $650.
$650 ON MY RIGHT, AT $650.
$700.
$700, WHERE I'M POINTING
ON THE LEFT SIDE NOW FOR $750.
$800. $850.
$850, THIS WAY. $900 ANYWHERE?
$900.
$900 ON THE AISLE HERE,
THANK YOU, MA'AM.
$900, WHERE I'M POINTING.
$900 ON THE AISLE, WHERE I'M
POINTING ON THE RIGHT SIDE.
[mallet knocks]
THE NEXT LOT WE HAVE THIS
EVENING
IS CERTAINLY ONE OF THE
MORE INTERESTING ONES.
IT'S A CARROUSEL HORSE THASAW MANY YEARS OF SERVICE
AT ASBURY PARK IN NEW JERSEY.
WHAT DO YOU THINK TO START AT?
A COUPLE HUNDRED
SOMEWHERE? $200?
$200 BID, THANK YOU, AT $200.
$200 LOT, AND 50.
THANK YOU, SIR. $250.
$300. $300 LOT, AND 50. $350.
$400. $450, YOUR TURN. $450.
$500, DOWN AT THE LEFT.
$550, THANK YOU.
$550.
$600. YOU LIKE. $600. $650.
$650, STANDING AT THE RIGHSIDE, AT $650.
IT'S $700. YOUR TURN AT $700.
$700 ON THE LEFT, ALL RIGHT.
$750.
MAKE IT $750.
$750, WHERE I'M POINTING,
$800.
$800 LOT NOW, $800.
$800...
[wheezing]
WHAT IS IT?
WE'D BETTER GETO THE HOSPITAL.
[coughing]
OH, MUSHY, WHY DON'T YOU GO
HOME AND GET SOME REST?
I WILL.
I WILL, SWEETIE.
PILL TIME!
WHAT'S THE
BLUE ONE?
THAT'S MY APHRODISIAC.
WHAT'S THE TEMPERATURE?
(Martha)
105!
DON'T THEY CALL YOU?
SH-SHOULDN'T THEY BE
DOING SOMETHING?
MARTHA, CALM DOWN.
THEY HAVE ORDERS.
HE'S IN A HOSPITAL.
HE'S BEING TAKEN
CARE OF.
[laughing]
YOU SHOULD GO ON HOME.
I'M STAYING.
[clicks]
THANK YOU.
[oxygen hissing]
[breathing heavily]
WE'D LIKE TO LISTEN
TO YOUR LUNGS AGAIN.
[groans]
YEAH.
BREATHE, PLEASE.
[wheezing]
AGAIN, PLEASE.
AND AGAIN.
[wheezing]
[doctors chattering]
HIS ROUTS ARE WORSE.
SHOULDN'T HE HAVE
MORE DIURETICS?
NO.
KEEPS HIM AWAKE.
(Harold)
WHERE YOU BEEN?
HAD A CIGARETTE.
OH, I WISH YOU'D STOP,
MUSHY.
WHAT'S THE PRESSURE?
90 OVER 56.
WHAT IS THAT NOW?
103.9.
OH, FEELS HOTTER.
TRY TO GESOME SLEEP, DOCTOR.
[wheezing]
[sneezing repeatedly]
HAL, WHAT IS IT?
[wheezing]
I CAN'T STOP.
[continues sneezing]
MY NOSE IS BURNING.
MY HUSBAND
CAN'T STOP SNEEZING.
IF--IF SOMEBODY COULD JUST--
AS SOON AS THEY'RE FREE,
THEY'LL COME.
THERE ARE OTHER
SICK PEOPLE HERE.
[Harold continues sneezing]
I'VE GOT TO STOP.
PLEASE, MY HUSBAND
CAN'T BREATHE!
WHO TURNED THIS UP?
IT'S TWICE AS HIGH
AS IT SHOULD BE.
PROBABLY BURNED HIS NOSE.
I'LL GET SOME OINTMENT.
[panting]
[both chattering]
EXCUSE ME.
HE NEEDS TO SLEEP.
CAN'T HE HAVE SOMETHING?
WHEN IS DR. LEAR
DUE FOR VALIUM?
WELL, NOT FOR
ANOTHER 2 HOURS.
BUT HE'S DESPERATE
FOR SLEEP.
[yawning]
WHO ISN'T?
O.K., GIVE HIM
WHATEVER HE WANTS.
THANK YOU.
[blood pressure
cuff inflating]
WHAT NOW?
A LITTLE LOWER.
82 OVER 56.
LIFT ME HIGHER?
I'M GETTING WEAKER.
WEAKER.
(Martha)
NURSE! NURSE!
YOU'VE GOTO CALL THE INTERN.
HE'S GONE TO SLEEP.
WAKE HIM!
I CAN'T, MRS. LEAR,
NOT IF I WANTO KEEP MY JOB.
I'M SORRY.
[Harold gasping]
[gasping]
IT'S GETTING WORSE.
GOT TO GET...
THE DOCTOR.
YOU'VE GOT TO DO SOMETHING.
WHAT IS IT NOW?
ABOUT THE SAME.
IS IT REALLY?
NO, IT'S IN
THE LOW 70'S.
(nurse)
I DON'T LIKE IT.
I'M GONNA WAKE THE DOCTOR.
YOU'RE NOT FEELING
TOO WELL?
WELL, LET'S HAVE A LISTEN.
LEAN FORWARD PLEASE.
I CAN'T.
[breathing with difficulty]
BE RIGHT BACK.
BUT...
THEY HAVE
TO DO SOMETHING.
THEY WILL.
THEY WILL, DARLING.
I'M GONNA STOP
ALL HIS MEDICATIONS
TILL THE DOCTORS
SEE HIM IN ROUNDS AT 8:00.
BUT, T-THAT'S OVER
2 HOURS FROM NOW.
I'LL CALL DR. SILVERMAN.
I JUST CALLED HIM.
I'M GONNA STARAN I.V. ON HIM.
WHAT FOR?
TO ESTABLISH A LINE
IF WE NEED IT.
I CAN'T HEAR IT.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
(Harold)
IT MEANS I'M DYING.
LISTEN TO ME.
I'M DEHYDRATED,
B-BARELY ANY PULSE,
NO URINE
SINCE MY FEVER
SPIKED LAST NIGHT,
MY KIDNEYS
HAVE STOPPED FUNCTIONING.
TELL THEM TO HURRY,
OR I'LL DIE.
(nurse)
YES, DR. LEAR.
DON'T WORRY,
THEY'LL BE HERE SOON.
WHAT TIME IS IT NOW?
7:00. SOON, SOON.
GOD HELP ME.
HANG ON, DARLING.
I'M DROWNING.
CAN'T--CAN'T BREATHE.
[shouting]
OH, TRY, TRY!
COME ON!
THAT'S IT. O.K.
[doctors chattering]
HERE WE ARE.
GOOD MORNING, SIR.
HOW ARE YOU DOING?
WOULD YOU WAIT OUTSIDE, MA'AM.
(doctor)
C.C., STAT.
GET A GRIP.
START ANOTHER LINE, DOCTOR.
GET AN EMPTY BAG.
THIS MAN'S GOING INTO ARREST.
(Moe)
MARTHA.
MOE!
HE'S DYING!
ALL RIGHT, MARTHA,
I'M HERE NOW.
HAL?
I DON'T KNOW
WHAT TO DO!
HAL, WE KNOW
WHAT TO DO.
WHY HAVEN'T YOU
MOVED HIM BEFORE THIS?
GET HIM ON A GURNEY.
I'M DYING, DOCTOR.
HURRY, EVERYONE.
[doctors chattering]
WATCH THE TANK!
[all chattering]
WATCH THE MACHINE.
CAN I--
WHAT FLOOR?
4! 4!
PLEASE!
I'M SORRY, NO.
WHAT SHOULD I DO?
JUST WAIT.
THEY'LL COME FOR YOU.
[television playing]
[people chattering]
HUSBAND?
MINE, TOO.
HE WAS WAITING
FOR A PLANE AT KENNEDY
AND JUST DROPPED.
WHAT DID THE DOCTOR SAY?
HIS, UH, AORTA IS RIPPED OPEN.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW
WHAT AN AORTA IS.
CRAZY,
ISN'T IT?
DON'T LOSE HOPE.
THEY'RE STILL
WORKING ON HIM.
BUT, UH,
IT LOOKS BAD, MARTHA.
IS HE CONSCIOUS?
MMM-HMM.
I'LL LET YOU KNOW
AS SOON AS YOU CAN GO IN.
MARTHA,
I WANT YOU TO KNOW,
THEY HAVE MADE
A TRULY HEROIC EFFORT.
MRS. BAILEY.
YES?
DON'T LOSE HOPE.
WE MAY STILL BE ABLE
TO SEE HIM BEFORE...
MARTHA,
AT LEAST YOU'RE SURE
EVERYONE DID
EVERYTHING THEY COULD.
[angrily]
NO, THEY DIDN'T.
HE KNEW WHAT WAS HAPPENING.
HE BEGGED, HE PLEADED.
AND THEY WOULDN'T LISTEN.
FOR 8 HOURS!
THEY WOULDN'T LISTEN!
AND WHAT WAS I DOING?
WATCHING THE FOUL UPS,
THE INSTITUTIONAL
MADNESS OF IT ALL
AND ACCEPTING IT!
I SHOULD'VE RUN OUOF THAT HALL
AND SCREAMED
AND BEAT AT THEM!
MARTHA, DON'T.
YOU WERE HERE WITH HIM.
[sobbing]
DID YOU KNOW
THEY HAVE
ANOTHER WAITING ROOM
WITH A TELEVISION SET IN IT?
AND I ALWAYS WONDERED WHY.
AND NOW I THINK I KNOW.
ONE IS FOR BOREDOM,
AND THE OTHER FOR DESPAIR.
MARTHA, WE'VE ALL KNOWN
THIS WAS COMING.
FOR 3 YEARS.
I KNOW
AND I SHOULD BE READY.
BUT I'M NOT.
I CALLED JUDY.
SHE'S GETTING IN TOUCH
WITH MICHAEL.
GOOD.
WHAT ELSE CAN I DO?
WRITE AN OBITUARY.
YOU WANT IT IN THE TIMES?
DO THEY HAVE A PICTURE?
I DON'T-- I DON'T KNOW.
DON'T FORGET TO MENTION
HIS PROGRAM.
THEY TOOK IT AWAY FROM HIM,
BUT HE CREATED IAND I WANT EVERYONE
TO KNOW THAT.
AND BARNEY,
YOU'LL GIVE
THE EULOGY AT THE...
HE'D LIKE THAT.
GONE?
NO, HE'S NOT GONE.
HE'S BETTER.
[sighs]
HE WANTS TO KNOW
EVERY DETAIL OF THE TREATMENT.
HE'S DRIVING THEM ALL
CRAZY IN THERE.
BETTER?
IT'S INCREDIBLE!
THAT FIGHTHAT KEEPS HIM ALIVE.
INCREDIBLE!
[medical instruments beeping]
[whispering]
IT'S O.K., GO ON. GO ON.
YOU KEEP FIGHTING.
YOU'RE GONNA MAKE IT.
I'VE ALREADY MADE IT.
HERE'S A DIRECT NUMBER
YOU CALL ANYTIME.
AND GO HOME NOW.
I WILL.
I JUST WANT TO SAY GOODBYE
TO MRS. BAILEY.
SHE LEFT.
HER HUSBAND...
(man on T.V.)
AND I REMEMBER
A COUPLE MORE DOCTORS CAME IN
WHILE WE WERE WORKING ON HIM
AND ONE OF THEM SAID, UH:
"YOU'RE ALL CRAZY HERE,
THERE'S NO CHANCE,
WHY DON'T YOU QUIT?"
AND THEN, INSIDE OF
HALF AN HOUR THINGS STARTED
TURNING AROUND, YOU KNOW?
I GOTTA SAY, I WAS AMAZED.
[phone ringing]
HE COULD'VE SWITCHED AGAIN
AT ANY MOMENT, BUT...
HELLO?
MRS. LEAR?
IT'S BONNIE AT C.C.U.
DR. LEAR
SAYS TO BRING ORANGES.
I WILL.
TELL HIM I WILL, I WILL!
[laughing]
THANK YOU!
(Estelle)
WE LIKED PARIS THE BEST.
(man)
YEAH, WE'RE GOING AGAIN
NEXT MONTH.
AND I WAS FIGURING
ON HITTING A FEW OF THOSE
3-STAR RESTAURANTS
AND THEN SHE TURNS AROUND
AND BLOWS $350.00
ON A SUEDE BELT.
COME OFF IT.
IF YOU WEREN'T SO CHINTZY,
WE WOULDN'T BE DRINKING
THIS YUCKY WINE.
IT HAPPENS TO BE
A VERY GOOD CABERNET.
ANYWAY, WHAT DO YOU KNOW
ABOUT WINES?
AS MUCH AS YOU KNOW
ABOUT SUEDE BELTS.
YOU KNOW ZIP, SWEETIE.
DROP DEAD, SWEETIE.
EXCUSE ME FOR JUST A MINUTE.
HOW ABOUT IT?
ANYBODY WANT MORE
OF THIS YUCKY WINE
TO GO ALONG
WITH THE BURNT CHICKEN?
ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
I JUST CAN'T STAND
WATCHING YOU TWO
DO THAT TO EACH OTHER.
WHY GET MAD AT ME?
I'M MAD AT BOTH OF YOU.
DON'T YOU REALIZE
HOW LUCKY YOU ARE?
WITH THAT CREEP,
ALWAYS PUTTING ME DOWN?
BUT DROP DEAD?
WHAT IF HE DID?
YOU CAN TALK.
HAL'S DIFFERENT.
I'M SORRY, ESTELLE.
I JUST-- I HAVE TO GO.
[car honking]
WHY AREN'T YOU SLEEPING?
MARTHA,
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
I JUST STOPPED BY.
GO TO SLEEP.
NO, COME IN.
COME HERE.
GIMME A KISS.
LIE DOWN.
JUST FOR A MINUTE.
MAKE A CUP.
TALK TO ME.
ABOUT WHAT?
ABOUT MY DYING.
ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS.
YOUR FEARS.
YOU WANT ME TO?
YES.
DON'T HOARD THEM ANYMORE.
[sighs]
I AM SCARED.
I'M...
I DON'T KNOW HOW
TO GO ON WITHOUT YOU.
WHAT WOULD YOU DO
IF I DIED?
IF YOU DIED?
I'D HAVE MY TIME
OF MOURNING.
IT WOULD BE HARD, BUT...
I THINK WHAT WOULD HELP
WOULD BE
TO STAY INVOLVED WITH PEOPLE,
TO WORK,
TO DO THE THINGS I ENJOY.
SAIL, MAKE PLANTERS
FOR THE TERRACE.
YOU'D STAY
IN OUR APARTMENT?
WHERE WE WERE TOGETHER?
YES.
I WOULDN'T RUN AWAY
FROM THE MEMORIES OF YOU.
I'D WANFAMILIAR THINGS AROUND.
THERE'S A PICTURE
MARTHA HUNG.
THERE'S THE DESK
SHE WORKED AT.
THIS IS THE STREEWHERE WE WALKED.
[sighs]
IT WOULD BE THE DEATH
OF A PART OF ME.
BUT,
LISTEN, MUSHY.
THERE WOULD
NEVER BE A QUESTION
ABOUT MY NOT SURVIVING.
[sniffling]
NOW, SLEEP.
I GOTTA GO TONIGHT.
BUT IT'S WONDERFUL.
HE'S INSISTING.
FIRST YOU'VE ALL GOTTA HAVE
THE HOT AND SOUR SOUP.
YEAH, AND THEN
THE LAY TONG SHRIMP.
HE ORDERED
THE WHOLE BLOODY
DINNER FOR US!
AND, HE KEEPS WANTING
TO KNOW WHEN WE CAN GO
BACK UP TO THE LAKE.
MOE SAYS IT'S
A REMARKABLE RECOVERY.
OF COURSE, TENUOUS.
ARE WE TALKING
ABOUT WEEKS?
IF NOT MONTHS.
NOT NECESSARILY.
THERE IS ONE HOPE.
YOU MEAN A TRANSPLANT.
(Barney)
WHAT DOES MOE THINK?
I DON'T KNOW,
HE HASN'T CALLED ME
SINCE THAT NIGHT.
WELL HE KNOWS YOU FEEL
IT WASN'T HANDLED WELL.
THERE'S A MASTERPIECE
OF UNDERSTATEMENT.
BUT THAT'S
BESIDE THE POINT.
IF WE'RE SERIOUS
I THINK WE HAVE TO ASK MOE
TO EXPLORE THE POSSIBILITY
WITH THIS MAN CHUMWAY
AT STANFORD.
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
WELL, IT'S A BIG STEP.
I DON'T REALLY KNOW
ENOUGH ABOUT IT.
THE PAST COUPLE YEARS
HAVE BEEN TOUGH.
THEY'VE ALSO BEEN
SOME OF THE BEST TIMES
WE'VE ALL HAD TOGETHER.
IF HE DIED TOMORROW,
I'D FEEL I UNDERSTAND HIM
MORE THAN I EVER DID.
AND THAT WOULD BE
ENOUGH FOR YOU?
NO.
I DON'T WANTO DO NOTHING
AND JUST LET HIM GO.
THEN I THINK
WE HAVE TO TALK TO MOE.
(Moe)
I'M DISCHARGING HIM ON MONDAY.
WONDERFUL.
IT'S OUR
15TH WEDDING ANNIVERSARY.
OH, CONGRATULATIONS!
I WANT HIM TO HAVE
PRIVATE NURSES,
THE FIRST WEEK AT LEAST.
I'LL CALL
THE REGISTRY TOMORROW.
UH, MOE?
I KNOW MICHAEL SPOKE TO YOU
ABOUT THE POSSIBILITY
OF A TRANSPLANT.
AFTER HAL IS HOME AND SETTLED,
CAN I COME IN
AND TALK TO YOU ABOUT IT?
YEAH, OF COURSE.
THANK YOU.
(Harold)
DO YOU KNOW MY BLOOD PRESSURE?
YES, IT'S STABLE
AROUND 80 OVER 60.
DO YOU KNOW
IF I'M ALLERGIC
TO ANY MEDICATION?
HYDRALAZINE.
DO YOU KNOW MY OCCUPATION?
I KNOW YOU'RE A DOCTOR.
WHAT?
HE INTERVIEWS THEM
AS IF IT WAS
A CABINET APPOINTMENT.
THAT'S BECAUSE THE ONE
HE TRIED YESTERDAY SAID:
"OH, I SEE YOU'VE DONE
YOUR PEE-PEE."
I THOUGHT HE WOULD EXPLODE.
YOU'LL DO.
OH, HAL,
THEY'RE BEAUTIFUL.
I WASN'T SURE
YOU'D REMEMBER.
MICHAEL AND I
REMEMBERED.
"TO MY MUSHY:
"AND THE NEXT 15.
WITH MY LOVE."
(Moe)
MARTHA, YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL.
YES, BUT DESPITE THAT.
WE'RE HOPING YOU'LL USE
YOUR PERSONAL INFLUENCE
WITH CHUMWAY
AND IF HAL'S AGE IS
THE ONLY DETERRENT, MOE--
IT ISN'T, IT ISN'T.
THE FACT IS,
THE OPERATION
IS SO TRAUMATIC
THEY'LL ONLY CONSIDER
PATIENTS WITH ABSOLUTE
MENTAL INTEGRITY.
AND SINCE HIS SURGERY,
WELL, AS YOU KNOW,
HAL HAS NOT HAD THAT.
HIS PHYSICAL STATE
IS PRECARIOUS,
TO SAY THE LEAST.
NOW WE DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH
FURTHER TISSUE DAMAGE
THERE'S BEEN.
AND WHAT CAUSED
THIS LAST ATTACK.
WE DON'T?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT?
I MEAN, WHAT ABOUTHE STRESS?
OF 8 HOURS
OF LOW BLOOD PRESSURE
AND FAILURE?
LOOK, LET'S NOT EXAGGERATE.
I'VE BEEN OVER THE CHARTS
OF THAT NIGHT AND THE SIGNS
WEREN'T THAT BAD!
I DON'T GIVE A DAMN
WHAT THOSE CHARTS SAY, MOE.
I WAS THERE, ALL NIGHT,
AND I KEPT MY OWN NOTES.
YES, I KNOW,
I AM AN ANNOYANCE TO YOU.
POKING AND PRODDING,
WHEN I SHOULD BE
LISTENING RESPECTFULLY
AND NODDING MY HEAD.
THAT'S NONSENSE!
I NEVER EXPECTED YOU
TO DO THAT.
BUT YOU'RE AN AMATEUR,
PLAYING DOCTOR,
GRASPING AT STRAWS.
LOOK AT THESE
TRANSPLANT STUDIES.
I MEAN,
IT'S EXPERIMENTAL WORK.
THE MORTALITY RATES
ARE DISMAL.
LOOK, YOU ARE ASKING ME
TO ARGUE VIGOROUSLY
FOR A PROCEDURE
WHICH I CANNOT RECOMMEND
NOT EVEN FOR YOUR WIFE?
NOT FOR MY WIFE,
NOT FOR MY CHILDREN,
NOT FOR ANYONE
I CARE ABOUT.
WOULD YOU AT LEASPRESENT THE CASE WITHOUT BIAS?
IF YOU INSIST.
(Martha)
POOR MOE.
WE BOTH KNEW THE DOCTORS
COULDN'T DO THE IMPOSSIBLE.
THEY COULDN'T MAKE HIM WELL.
IN THE END,
THERE WAS NO TRANSPLANT.
MAYBE BECAUSE I KNEW
I COULD NEVER UPROOT HIM
TO SIT IN A STRANGE PLACE
AND WAIT FOR A HEARHE MIGHT NEVER GET.
MAYBE IT WAS
A FAILURE OF MY WILL.
BUT I PUT MY MONEY ON HIS.
INSTEAD, WE WENT TO THE LAKE
THAT SUMMER.
AND HE SAT ON THE PIER
AND WATCHED OTHER PEOPLE
SAIL HIS SUNFISH.
BACK IN NEW YORK,
HE SPENT EVERY DAY
AT HIS DESK.
PAYING BILLS,
CLIPPING
FROM MEDICAL JOURNALS,
SCRIBBLING "VERY GOOD"
AND "SAVE THIS"
IN THE MARGINS.
HE REORDERED
HIS PERSONAL STATIONERY,
1,000 SHEETS,
AND USED DOZENS OF THEM
ON LETTERS
TO THE EDITORIAL PAGES
OF THE TIMES,
TO CON ED, TO SHELL OIL.
ON A WEDNESDAY AFTERNOON,
MORE THAN 2 YEARS LATER,
HAL CAME INTO MY STUDY.
I DON'T KNOW WHY
YOU HAD TO WAKE ME
UNLESS MY MOTHER WAS CALLING.
I DIDN'T WAKE YOU.
HAL, YOUR MOTHER'S BEEN DEAD
FOR 15 YEARS.
[crying]
WHAT?
[Harold sobbing]
HERE WE GO, MUSHY.
NO.
NO. NO.
[doorbell buzzing]
THANK YOU FOR GETTING HERE
SO FAST.
PLEASE, JUST WAIT HERE
AND I'LL GET HIM.
(Martha)
HE NEEDED HIS SOCKS.
HE NEEDED HIS RAZOR,
HIS TOOTHBRUSH,
HIS EYEGLASSES, HIS PEN,
HIS NOTEBOOK.
THEY'RE HERE.
DON'T RUSH ME. MY PANTS.
YOU DON'T NEED PANTS,
YOU HAVE YOUR ROBE ON.
I WANT TO WEAR PANTS.
MY LIGHTWEIGHT JEANS.
WANT A STRETCHER, SIR?
NO.
YOU WANT TO GO
BY AMBULANCE, SIR?
NO.
WHAT TIME IS IT?
2:35.
WRITE DOWN "2:35."
"CHILLS SUBSIDED.
"WEAKNESS.
IRREGULAR PULSE."
[man chattering
on police radio]
(nurse)
WE GOT TO GET THROUGH
TO THE ROOM.
LET'S GET HIS ROBE OFF.
O.K., JUST HELP ME
WITH THIS, SIR.
THAT'S IT.
UP YOU GO.
THAT'S IT. O.K.
LIE BACK. BACK YOU GO.
LET'S GETHE INTRAVENOUS IN HIM.
GET SOME OXYGEN, PLEASE.
YOU WANT THE
ANESTHETICS DONE?
YES, PLEASE.
YOU GOT THE MORPHINE?
[medical instrument beeping]
O.K., WE GOT THE LINE.
O.K., MORPHINE'S IN.
TAKE IT EASY, MUSHY.
CHARLOTTE,
COULD YOU GET THE LASIX?
(Charlotte)
COMING.
WHERE'S MY NOTEBOOK?
IT'S HERE.
(Charlotte)
LASIX.
WHAT TIME IS IT?
[doctors chattering]
3:10.
(doctor)
WHAT'S HIS RHYTHM?
(nurse) HANG ON.
HERE.
(doctor)
LET'S GET AN ANESTHETISDOWN HERE
PLEASE WRITE...
[E.K.G. flatlining]
(doctor)
DR. LEAR, CAN YOU HEAR ME?
[doctor chattering]
(nurse)
IS HE CONSCIOUS?
EXPENDITURE.
WE NEED SOME RESPONSE
DR. LEAR?
[voice fading]
DR. LEAR?
(Martha)
HAL DIED AT 9:30 A.M.
18 HOURS AFTER AN ARRESA HEART LIKE HIS
HAD NO BUSINESS SURVIVING
MORE THAN MINUTES.
"I'LL NEVER GIVE UP,"
HE TOLD ME LONG AGO.
AND THE SWEESON OF A BITCH NEVER DID.
PICKING UP
A BOOK MANUSCRIPT?
YES.
HOW DO YOU GO BACK?
BUS, SOMETIMES SUBWAY.
DO ME A FAVOR?
TAKE A CAB?
FIRST CLASS. RIGHT ON.
(Martha)
AM I EVER GOING TO
LET GO OF HIM?
(Harriet)
MRS. LEAR? IT'S HARRIET MUIR.
I SOLD YOU YOUR HOUSE
IN THE COUNTRY,
REMEMBER?
I'VE BEEN GOING PASYOUR HOUSE
ALMOST EVERYDAY
FOR MONTHS.
I NOTICE
YOU AREN'T USING IT.
(Martha)
NO, WE--
I HAVEN'T BEEN THERE.
WOULD YOU CONSIDER
SELLING IT?
I HAVE
AN INTERESTED BUYER.
I--I DON'T KNOW.
I--I HAVEN'THOUGHT ABOUT IT.
WELL, WHY DON'T YOU
MULL IT OVER?
YOU CAN LET ME KNOW.
(Martha)
HMM. SMELLS MUSTY.
(Harold)
SMELLS TERRIFIC.
(Harold)
WE MADE IT, KID.
(Martha)
HEY, CHARACTER.
WANT TO WAITILL WE GET THESE BAKED?
(Harold)
MARTHA!
[sniffling]
[sobbing]
[sobbing]
[sniffling]
(Martha)
"DRINK UP.
YOU'RE BEHIND A FEW."
BOB AND ANNIE.
CHET AND HELEN."
[birds chirping]
L'CHAIM.
[curtains sliding open]
I KEEP THINKING:
"O.K., DADDY.
THE JOKE'S OVER."
(Michael)
I ALWAYS THOUGHTHAT HAPPINESS
WAS HAVING YOUR PULSE
TAKEN BY YOUR FATHER.
EVEN AS KIDS,
JUDY AND I COULD TELL HIM
ANYTHING.
(Martha)
THE ANSWERS
TO ALL THE QUESTIONS
STILL ELUDE ME
AM I EVER GOING TO
LET GO OF HIM?
[Martha laughing]
[Harold sighing]
[Martha moaning]
[Martha laughing]
[Harold moaning]
[Harold sighing]
[Martha laughing]
[Martha imitating sound
of beating heart]
(Martha)
NOT BAD AFTER
12 YEARS OF MARRIAGE, KIDDO.
NOT BAD.
[Harold panting]
[sighing]
OH,
JUST THOUGHT OF
AN OLD DOCTORS' JOKE.
UMM-HMM?
THE CARDIAC PATIENSAYS, UH,
"WILL I BE ABLE TO HAVE
SEX, DOCTOR?"
AND THE, UH, DOCTOR SAYS,
"YES,
"BUT ONLY WITH YOUR WIFE.
I DON'T WANT YOU TO GETOO EXCITED."
YEAH.
I'LL BE SURE TO TELL THAAT MY NEXT WOMEN'S GROUP.
OH, NOW, IS THAT WHAYOU TALK ABOUT?
WE TALK ABOUTHE EXPENDABILITY OF HUSBANDS.
[groans]
UH-OH.
MY PLANE.
(woman on intercom)
T-W-8, FLIGHT NUMBER 7
FROM LONDON TO NEW YORK,
IS NOW BOARDING AT GATE 14.
[sighing]
I HATE IT ALREADY.
IT'S GOING TO BE
AWFUL WITHOUT YOU.
OH, COME ON.
YOU CALLED YOUR OWN SHOTS
FOR 29 YEARS.
HMM, THAT WAS DIFFERENT.
I WASN'T A WIFE.
YOU GET BRAINWASHED.
AND BESIDES, YOU'LL BE BUSY
WITH YOUR ASSIGNMENTS.
YEAH, A WEEK IN LONDON,
THEN I'M JUST A TOURIST.
WHAT'S WRONG WITH TAKING
A VACATION FOR YOURSELF?
DRIVING AROUND FRANCE,
ALL OUR OLD SPOTS.
ALONE?
IT MAY BE
THE SHORTEST VACATION
IN HISTORY.
[sighing]
YOU CAN ALWAYS WRITE
A TRAVEL ARTICLE.
HMM. I HAVEN'T WRITTEN
A TRAVEL ARTICLE
SINCE I WAS 12.
(Sophie)
DR. LEAR.
SOPHIE AND DAVE ELIAS,
FROM HARTFORD.
YOU TOOK CARE
OF MY FATHER.
OH, SURE, SURE.
I REMEMBER THE NIGHT HE DIED,
YOU STAYED WITH HIM
ALL NIGHIN HIS HOSPITAL ROOM.
ALL NIGHT.
THAT WAS QUITE A WHILE AGO,
UH, DO YOU KNOW MY WIFE?
HOW DO YOU DO?
(Sophie)
A PLEASURE.
MRS. LEAR,
TO ME, YOUR HUSBAND IS A GOD.
A GOD.
AH, THIS IS IT, MUSHY.
DOES A GOD FONDLE
HIS WIFE'S REAR END
IN PUBLIC?
THAT'S SO NO ONE WILL THINK
YOU'RE A WIFE.
[woman chattering on intercom]
(woman attendant)
MAY I SEE YOUR TICKET PLEASE?
THANK YOU.
THE TIMES' PARIS BUREAU
WILL KNOW WHERE I AM.
[airplane engine roaring]
(Julie)
HE'S FINISHED
AND HE GOES OFF TO SLEEP.
AND I'M LAYING THERE,
AND I'M MAD.
WHAT DO YOU THINK
SHOULD BE HAPPENING, JULIE?
WELL, I FIGURE THAT,
IF WOMEN ARE...
[sighing]
LIKE IT SAYS
IN ALL THE MAGAZINES,
ARE--ARE HAVING ORGASMS
ALL OVER THE PLACE,
WHY SHOULDN'T I?
I'D LIKE HER TO BE SATISFIED.
I'D LIKE TO FEEL AS IF
I'M DOING A GOOD JOB.
THAT'S WHAT IT'S LIKE,
SOMETIMES.
A JOB.
DO YOU EVER TELL DAN
WHAT YOU DO LIKE?
MAKES YOU EXCITED?
[laughing]
OH, WELL,
HE SHOULD KNOW.
(Harold)
HOW?
GOOD SEX STARTS
WITH BEING ABLE
TO TALK TO EACH ANOTHER.
THAT'S A SKILL
YOU CAN LEARN.
WHAT WE'D LIKE TO DO TODAY,
IS TO GIVE
PRACTICING DOCTORS
SOME CONCEPT OF
THE TECHNIQUES USED
IN THE TREATMENOF SEXUAL DYSFUNCTION.
CERTAINLY WE DON'T EXPECALL OF YOU TO BECOME
SEX THERAPISTS.
BUT THE NEED FOR DOCTORS
TO BE ABLE TO...
THAT LOOKS OK.
IT'S GOING OUTO 200 TEACHING HOSPITALS
NEXT WEEK.
[phone buzzing]
YES.
(Doris)
DR. KORBER CALLED.
HE'S PENCILED
YOUR MEETING IN FOR
TOMORROW MORNING AT 10:00.
HALLELUJAH!
AND PLEASE SIGN THOSE LETTERS
ON YOUR DESK
BEFORE YOU GO TO LUNCH.
THANK YOU, DORIS.
I HAD 2 STUDENTS ASK ME TODAY
IF THE PSYCHIATRY DEPARTMENWAS GONNA TAKE YOUR PROGRAM
AWAY FROM YOU.
I HAVE KORBER'S WORD
THEY WON'T.
KORBER'S A TOWER OF JELL-O.
HE'LL NEVER STAND UP TO THEM.
[sighs]
FIRST, THEY'LL HAVE NOTHING
TO DO WITH YOU.
SEX THERAPY,
THE DIRTY WORD.
NOW THAT YOUR PROGRAM'S
A RUNAWAY SUCCESS,
EVERYBODY WANTS--
YOU SOUND JUST LIKE MARTHA.
WELL...
SO, EVERYTHING'S WORKING OUT,
HAL?
[sirens wailing]
SEX EDUCATION WILL STAY
WITH ME IN PUBLIC HEALTH.
AND SEX THERAPY WILL MOVE INTO
THE DEPARTMENT OF PSYCHIATRY
UNDER DR. GROSS.
WELL, FINE, UH,
THEN I'LL BE REPORTING
TO BOTH OF YOU.
(Dr. Korber)
WELL, NOT EXACTLY.
I DON'T KNOW
WHAT THAT MEANS.
I'M ASKING DR. MARTIN
TO HEAD IT UP.
BUT THIS IS MY PROGRAM.
I C-CREATED IT FROM NOTHING.
I BUILT IT.
NOBODY'S QUESTIONING THAT,
HAL, OR YOUR CREDENTIALS
AS A DOCTOR, AS A UROLOGIST.
THAT'S WHAT GAVE
THE PROGRAM CREDIBILITY
FROM THE BEGINNING.
THEN, WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?
YOU'RE NOT A PSYCHIATRIST.
IF I WERE TO NAME YOU
THE DIRECTOR OF A PROGRAM
IN THAT DEPARTMENT,
WELL, I'D HAVE A REVOLUTION
ON MY HANDS.
(Dr. Korber)
YOU CAN SEE THAT, HAL.
(Dr. Gross)
WE COULD MAKE YOU,
UH, ASSOCIATE,
OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT...
(Barney)
HAVE YOU TOLD MARTHA?
WHY LOUSE UP HER TRIP?
BESIDES, I KNOW
WHAT SHE'LL SAY.
"WHY DON'T YOU GEOUT OF THERE?"
(man)
NEXT 3 PLEASE
AND DO WHAT? START OVER?
BUILD A PRIVATE PRACTICE
IN NEW YORK?
THIS IS LYND GALWAR,
MY CHOREOGRAPHER.
MY COUSIN,
DR. LEAR.
HOW DO YOU DO?
LISTEN, I THINK I'LL SKIP
DINNER FOR TONIGHT,
IF YOU DON'T MIND.
WHY? LINDA'S HOLDING
A TABLE FOR US
ACROSS THE STREET.
I'M NOT HUNGRY.
I'LL TAKE A RAIN CHECK, HUH?
I'LL TALK TO YOU TOMORROW.
PLEASURE MEETING YOU.
GOOD NIGHT.
SO WHAT DO YOU THINK?
[car horns honking]
WARM NIGHT, DOCTOR.
BETTER TURN
THE AIR-CONDITIONING ON.
YEAH, I MAY DO THAT, FRED.
HOW'S THE BACK?
BETTER.
I'M DOING THOSE EXERCISES.
[sighing]
[sighing]
[phone ringing]
(female operator)
OPERATOR.
UH, YES, OPERATOR.
I'D LIKE TO SPEAK
TO FRANCE PLEASE,
AREA CODE 935--
SORRY, SIR,
THE CIRCUITS ARE BUSY.
TRY A LITTLE LATER.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
[birds twittering]
OH.
YES, YES, I KNOW.
IT'S AGAINST THE LAW IN FRANCE
TO WORK
WHILE YOU'RE EATING.
THE CALL TO YOUR HUSBAND,
I TRY IT NOW?
NO, IT'S A LITTLE EARLY.
WE'LL TRY THAT LATER.
THANK YOU.
[birds twittering]
[car horn honking]
[groaning]
[sighing]
[match lighting]
[sighing]
YOU LOOK LIKE HELL.
[sighing]
[gasping]
[gasping]
[breathing heavily]
[groaning]
[groaning]
[gasping]
[panting]
[gasping]
[phone ringing]
(female operator)
THIS IS 911.
CAN I HELP YOU?
UH, MY NAME IS HAROLD LEAR.
I LIVE AT 1020 PARK AVENUE.
I'M HAVING A HEART ATTACK.
MY DOCTOR'S NAME
IS RUSSELL GRANT.
I'M TOO WEAK
TO FIND HIS NUMBER.
PLEASE CALL HIM AND TELL HIM
TO COME RIGHT AWAY.
SIR, I CAN'T CALL YOUR DOCTOR.
THIS IS STRICTLY
AN EMERGENCY SERVICE.
BUT THIS IS AN EMERGENCY.
I CAN TRANSFER YOUR CALL
TO THE EMERGENCY OPERATOR.
SHE'LL BE ABLE TO DISPATCH
AN AMBULANCE
[gasping]
HELP.
[coughing]
[gasping]
BILL!
[wheezing]
[groaning]
BILL!
[gasping]
GET ME TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM.
I'M HAVE A HEART ATTACK.
I'LL GET AN AMBULANCE,
DOCTOR.
GET A CAB
[Harold gasping]
(doctor)
START AN I.V., STAT.
[medical team chattering]
(doctor)
DO AN E.C.G. RIGHT AWAY.
[cardiograph beeping]
(nurse)
DR. LEAR?
DR. LEAR?
WE NEED SOME
ADMITTING INFORMATION.
NEXT OF KIN.
WIFE?
SHE'S OUT OF THE COUNTRY.
CHILDREN?
A SON IN ENGLAND
AND A DAUGHTER.
HER NAME?
PHONE NUMBER?
[sighing]
I CAN'T REMEMBER.
WE MUST INFORM SOMEONE.
BETTER FIND MY WIFE.
[sighing]
IF I DIE WITHOUT TELLING HER,
SHE'LL NEVER FORGIVE ME.
(operator #1)
ALLO, NEW YORK?
J'AI MADAME LEAR, ICI.
(operator #2)
MR. KNAPP, GO AHEAD.
(Barney)
MARTHA?
BARNEY, WHAT IS IT?
WELL, IT'S THAT HAL
IS FEELING A LITTLE...
HE HAD THIS LITTLE...
HEART ATTACK?
IT'S NOTHING MUCH.
YOU'RE LYING TO ME.
NO, I'M TELLING YOU
HE'S COMPLAINING BECAUSE
HE CAN'T PLAY TENNIS TOMORROW.
I'M GETTING
THE NEXT PLANE BACK.
WHAT HOSPITAL?
STUYVESANT.
(woman)
STUYVESANT MEDICAL CENTER.
MATERNITY.
(Martha)
OH, NO. MY HUSBAND
HAD A HEART ATTACK.
WELL, THEN HE WOULDN'T BE
IN MATERNITY. I'LL SWITCH
YOU TO CORONARY CARE.
(Martha)
MILD? DID YOU SAY MILD?
(doctor)
NO. I SAID MYO.
YOUR HUSBAND HAS SUFFERED
A MASSIVE
MYOCARDIAL INFARCTION.
IS HE DYING?
IS HE IN PAIN?
HE'S RESTING COMFORTABLY,
BUT IT'S TOO EARLY TO--
CAN I POSSIBLY
SPEAK TO HIM?
I DON'T KNOW.
HOLD ON.
(Harold)
HI, DARLING.
HOW ARE YOU?
OH, HAL.
[sniffling]
I'M FINE.
I'LL BE HOME TOMORROW.
WELL, IF YOU'VE HAD IWITH THOSE LATIN LOVERS.
[chuckling]
I BETTER HANG UP NOW.
I LOVE YOU.
[people chattering]
[glasses clanking]
I'M NOT THE KIND OF GIRL
WHO KISSES
ON THE FIRST DATE.
NO.
IN A RESORT TOWN.
IN A BAR.
LET'S GET THE HELL
OUT OF HERE.
MRS. LEAR,
GLAD TO HAVE YOU BACK.
THANK YOU. WILL YOU TAKE
THEM UP? I'M GOING RIGHTO THE HOSPITAL.
SURE, GIVE THE DOCTOR
MY BEST.
THANK YOU, I WILL.
[horn honking]
ENOUGH OF THIS FOOLING AROUND.
LET'S GET MARRIED.
[woman sobbing]
YOU'RE SPEECHLESS,
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
ECSTASY?
TERROR.
IT'S ONLY BEEN A MONTH.
(man)
I WILL GO.
A DOCTOR?
FREE EXAMINATIONS.
[chuckles]
DIVORCED WITH 2 CHILDREN.
MY KIDS WILL LOVE YOU.
LIVING IN THE BOONDOCKS.
ANYTHING BUT NEW YORK
IS THE BOONDOCKS.
(man)
SHUSH.
[whispering]
I'M NOT READY.
WHAT'S SO IMPORTANABOUT NEW YORK?
WORK.
THEATRE,
ART,
MUSEUMS.
PEOPLE IN THE STREET, TAXIS,
NOISE, STATUE OF LIBERTY.
EVERYTHING.
EXCEPT YOU.
(woman on intercom)
DR. COOPER'S STAFF.
DR. COOPER'S STAFF.
YOU'RE NEEDED
IN EMERGENCY WARD 4.
[cardiograph beeping]
[sniffles]
PRETTY DUMB?
[sobbing]
DAMN DUMB.
I MISSED YOU.
IT'LL BE ALL RIGHT,
IT'LL BE JUST LIKE IT WAS.
OH.
[Judy sobbing]
(Martha)
JUDY. IT'S O.K.
[phone ringing]
HOW BAD IS IT?
THE NEXT 36 HOURS ARE KEY.
THEY SAID THAT WE'RE JUSGOING TO HAVE TO WAICOME AND SIT DOWN.
LET'S DEAL
WITH WHAT WE CAN.
I ASKED MY DOCTOR,
MOE SILVERMAN,
"WHO DOES THE BESCARDIOLOGY IN NEW YORK?"
MMM-HMM.
(Martha)
WELL, THEN?
HE DOESN'T WORK AT THIS
HOSPITAL BUT HE'S GIVEN ME
SOME NAMES.
AND I'VE WHITTLED IDOWN TO 2.
WERNER AND ROBERTS.
BOTH HIGHLY RECOMMENDED
JUDY CAN STAY WITH YOU
TONIGHT, MARTHA.
YEAH, MARK'S GREAWITH THE BABY. I MEAN,
THEY WON'T EVEN MISS ME.
OR YOU CAN COME HOME WITH US.
[sniffling]
NO THANK YOU, REALLY,
ALL OF YOU. I--
I'D RATHER BE BY MYSELF.
[sniffing]
[doorbell ringing]
[crickets chirping]
FIRST IMPRESSION'S IMPORTANT.
DO I LOOK LIKE A DOCTOR?
A PROSPEROUS DOCTOR
FROM HARTFORD?
[dogs barking]
CHIEF OF STAFF?
YEAH, I KNEW
I SHOULD'VE HAVE WORN
THE DAMN BLUE SUIT.
[laughing]
STOP IT.
DADDY, MOM,
THIS IS HAL.
UH,
COME IN, COME IN.
THIS IS FOR YOU.
GOOD EVENING.
[cutlery clinking]
I HOPE MARTHA
CAN COOK LIKE THIS.
[laughing]
YOU DIDN'T ASK FIRST?
I DRINK TO A BRAVE MAN.
AND NOW THE BESTOAST OF ALL.
L'CHAIM. TO LIFE.
L'CHAIM.
HAL, YOU COME WITH ME.
I WANT TO SHOW YOU SOMETHING.
(Harold)
YOU'LL EXCUSE ME?
DO YOU LIKE HIM?
YOU LIKE HIM.
THAT'S WHAT'S IMPORTANT.
I WASN'T LOOKING TO GEMARRIED, YOU KNOW THAT.
AND YOU AND MOM
CERTAINLY NEVER PUSHED ME.
SO WE DID SOMETHING RIGHT.
YOU BROUGHT HOME
A FINE MAN
WHEN YOU WERE READY.
IT'S HERE SOMEWHERE.
[sighs]
OH, HERE IT IS.
I SAVED IT FOR WHEN MARTHA
BROUGHT HOME HER INTENDED.
HERE, READ IT.
"MALDEN, MASSACHUSETTS
SEPTEMBER 14, 1939.
"TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN.
"THIS IS TO CERTIFY
THAT I HAVE EXAMINED
MARTHA WEINMAN,
"AGE 6 AND A HALF,
"AND FOUND HER
TO HAVE A RUPTURED HYMEN,
PROBABLY DUE
TO FALLING OFF A CHAIR."
OH, MY GOD.
"SIGNED, DR. JOSHUA FRIEDMAN."
I TOLD DOCTOR FRIEDMAN.
"WRITE IT OUT."
I'LL SHOW IT TO THE MAN
SHE'S GOING TO MARRY.
THANK YOU MRS. WEINMAN
YOU'RE A WONDERFUL MOTHER.
AND THAT'S WHY YOU HAVE
SUCH A WONDERFUL DAUGHTER.
(doctor)
HE'S HAD A BAD ATTACK,
THERE'S NO DOUBT OF THAT.
WHEN THE HEART MUSCLE'S
BEEN DAMAGED, CERTAIN ENZYMES
ARE RELEASED IN THE BLOOD.
THE LARGER THE QUANTITY,
THE GREATER
THE PRESUMED DAMAGE.
WHAT'S THE NORMAL COUNT?
AND HAL'S?
IT CAN SETTLE DOWN.
(woman on intercom)
DR. CURTIS, PLEASE CALL...
I HAVE SOME QUESTIONS.
CAN A DAMAGED HEART HEAL?
I MEAN, GOOD AS NEW?
SURE BETTER. NEXT.
HIS FAMILY HAS A HISTORY
OF HEART ATTACKS
ON BOTH SIDES.
HOW IMPORTANA FACTOR IS THAT?
IT'S IMPORTANT.
CHANCES OF RECURRENCE?
THERE'S NO TELLING.
BUT YOU MUST HAVE SOME IDEA.
I MEAN, THERE MUST BE STUDIES,
SURELY.
YEAR REPORTS.
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO KNOW
ALL THAT FOR?
DON'T WORRY.
I'LL KEEP YOU INFORMED. AHEM.
(woman on intercom)
DR. JACKSON, OUTSIDE CALL.
[phone ringing]
[phone continues ringing]
[phone ringing]
(man)
STUYVESANT MEDICAL CENTER,
PATIENT INFORMATION.
COULD YOU TELL ME
DR. HAROLD LEAR'S
CONDITION PLEASE?
JUST A MOMENT, PLEASE
[sighs]
CRITICAL BUT SATISFACTORY.
THANK YOU.
[phone hanging up]
[bells tolling]
DON'T FORGET.
IT'S AND OLD HOUSE BUIT HAS GREAT POSSIBILITIES.
AND OF COURSE
9 BEDROOMS.
NOW, IT'S A LITTLE DARK
BUT THAT MAKES IT COZY
AND IT IS ON THE WATER.
YOU KNOW PEOPLE JUSDON'T SELL
THESE LAKESIDE HOUSES
JUST ONE BATHROOM?
WELL, YOU COULD ALWAYS
ADD ANOTHER. I'LL GO CHECK
THE ELECTRICITY.
[whispering]
I LOVE IT.
IT SPEAKS TO US.
YES, IT'S SAYING,
"GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE."
YOU FILL IT WITH
WHITE WHICKER FURNITURE
AND RAG RUGS, HAL,
IT'LL BE GORGEOUS.
IT WILL NEVER BE
GORGEOUS.
OH, LOOK AT THE VIEW.
[bell tolling]
OH, HAL, WE COULD SIOUT HERE AND HAVE DINNERS,
AND WATCH THE SUNSET.
I'LL LEARN TO COOK.
O.K., MUSHY,
WE'LL MAKE AN OFFER.
[laughing]
I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE
WE GOT IT.
I MEAN, YOU WERE
ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT.
I MADE A LOW OFFER
SHE TOOK IT.
THAT WORRIES ME.
UH, SAY, ARE YOU THE FOLKS
BUYING THE OLD EDWARDS HOUSE?
(both)
YES.
THANK YOU.
GUESS SHE TOLD YOU
'BOUT THE LEAKY ROOF.
DROVE 'EM CRAZY.
WELL, GOOD LUCK.
GORGEOUS.
YES, I'D LIKE TO KNOW
DR. HAROLD LEAR'S CONDITION
THIS MORNING.
(man)
JUST A MOMENT.
FAIR.
FAIR?
DID YOU SAY FAIR?
YOU'VE HAD A SHAVE!
[cardiograph beeping]
I FEEL TERRIFIC.
WHAT AM I DOING HERE?
THERE MUST BE SOME MISTAKE.
OH, YOU THINK SO, HUH?
WELL, LETS SEE.
WHAT--
[cardiograph alarm sounding]
IT'S ALL RIGHT.
IT'S ALL RIGHT.
IT'S ALL RIGHT.
WOW, HAVE I HAD
A HEART ATTACK!
DOC-DOCTOR LEAR.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
CHECKING
MY ELECTROCARDIOGRAM.
[gasps]
WELL, DON'T DO THAT.
YOU'LL GIVE ME
A HEART ATTACK.
[cardiograph beeping]
OH, THANK YOU.
ISN'T SHE TERRIFIC?
I ALWAYS THOUGHT A GOOD NURSE
GIVES PILLS,
YOU KNOW, CHECKS CHARTS
AND THINGS.
BUT WHEN YOU'RE LYING HERE,
YOU SEE IT DIFFERENTLY.
(Harold)
THEY'RE YOUR LIFELINE.
THEY COME AND THEY TOUCH YOU
AND THEY SAY,
"NOW, ISN'T THAT BETTER?"
YOU KNOW WHO ARE A PAIN?
THE WISE-GUY YOUNG DOCTORS.
YOU WANTED TO SEE ME?
YES, I'M ONLY HAVING
LOW-GRADE DISCOMFORI DON'T THINK I NEED A SHOT.
MAYBE SOMETHING MILDER,
ASPIRIN?
YOU CAN HAVE YOUR
PAIN MEDICATION.
THERE'S NOTHING ELSE ORDERED
BUT...
(Harold)
YOU KNOW WHAT THE GAME IS.
DON'T MAKE WAVES.
DON'T CHALLENGE
THE DOCTOR'S AUTHORITY.
THOSE X-RAYS WERE ORDERED.
WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO?
CAUSE TROUBLE?
WHAT? WHAT?
YOU GOT NO RIGHTO CALL DOWN
TO X-RAY AND TALK TO
MY PEOPLE DOWN THERE--
YOU GOT THE WRONG ROOM.
WELL, WHAT IF IT WAS THE RIGHROOM? IS THAT ANY WAY TO TALK
TO A CARDIAC PATIENT?
ANY PATIENT?
WHAT ARE THEY TEACHING YOU
IN MEDICAL SCHOOL, ARROGANCE?
THIS IS A HOSPITAL ROOM,
212 HARD-EARNED BUCKS A DAY!
THE NEXT TIME YOU COME IN
HERE, YOU KNOCK.
(Harold)
I WILL NOT BE TREATED
LIKE AN IDIOT.
(Martha)
HAL, DON'T GET EXITED.
DAMN IT!
BRING ME MY SAWED-OFF JEANS!
YOU REALIZE THE A.M.A.
COULD BRING YOU UP ON CHARGES
FOR THIS OUTFIT.
GO AHEAD AND TRY.
MAN, THOSE ARE
SOME SANDALS, DR. LEAR.
I'VE ALWAYS THOUGHT SO.
(Martha)
ISN'T THE SUN DECK TOO FAR?
(Harold)
PROBABLY.
(woman on intercom)
DR. BURROWS,
PLEASE CALL 1-2-5 WEST.
(doctor)
I'M DISCHARGING HIM
ON SUNDAY.
(Martha)
OH, WONDERFUL.
LET'S GO OVER
THE INSTRUCTIONS.
LOW-SODIUM DIET,
ABSOLUTELY NO SMOKING,
EXERCISE. HE CAN BEGIN
BY WALKING A BLOCK
OR SO EVERY DAY.
HE SHOULD BE ABLE
TO START WORKING PART-TIME
IN 3 WEEKS,
FULL-TIME IN 6 WEEKS.
ANY QUESTIONS?
WHEN CAN I STARHAVING WET DREAMS?
I WANT TO SEEN HIM
IN MY OFFICE A WEEK
FROM MONDAY.
[coughs]
WHY CAN'T THAT JACKASS TALK
TO ME? I'M SITTING RIGHT HERE.
MY GOD,
WAS I LIKE THAT?
DIDN'T YOU HEAR?
YOU'RE GOING HOME.
YOU'RE BUYING OUT THE PLACE.
[laughing]
YEAH, FRUIT'S GOOD
FOR MY HUSBAND.
NO SALT.
I GOT TO WATCH IT MYSELF.
OH, I DIDN'T SEE THE MELONS.
HE LOVES THOSE.
I THINK I'LL TAKE A COUPLE.
I'LL GET YOU ANOTHER BAG.
[siren wailing]
THIS MAN IS DEAD.
KEEP WORKING.
DADDY, HOW COULD YOU DO THAT?
DADDY, YOU PROMISED ME!
[sobbing]
DADDY, DON'T DIE!
DON'T YOU...
NO DADDY, PLEASE!
[siren continues wailing]
(Walter)
YOU'LL DRIVE YOURSELF CRAZY.
I KNOW.
I EVEN WATCH HIM
WHEN HE'S SLEEPING.
YESTERDAY, I ACTUALLY HELD
A MIRROR UNDER HIS NOSE.
HE WOKE AND SAW ME
AND SAID, "WHAT ARE YOU
AFRAID OF? CRIB DEATH?"
[people chattering]
ANYWAY, HE'S HOME.
AND THAT'S GOOD.
MMM-HMM.
AND NOT SO GOOD
FOR YOU.
HE HAS TO STOP SMOKING
SO I'M TRYING, TOO.
PROOFS LOOK PRETTY GOOD.
PRETTY GOOD PIECE.
RUNNING IT A WEEK
FROM SUNDAY.
NOW, HOW ABOUANOTHER ASSIGNMENT?
DO YOU HAVE ANY GUM?
MARTHA, YOU'RE GOING
TO NEED SOME RELIEF.
YOU'VE GOT TO KEEP WORKING.
YOU KNOW, I WANT TO.
BUT I CAN'T.
THE MIND HAS A--A MIND
OF ITS OWN, IT SEEMS.
ALL RIGHT.
DON'T FIGHT IT, GO WITH IT.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
WELL, YOU'RE A JOURNALIST.
PUT DOWN WHAT'S HAPPENING.
WHAT YOU'RE THINKING.
LET IT ALL SPILL OUT.
YOU MEAN LIVE IALL OVER AGAIN.
ONCE IS ENOUGH.
WHAT HE'S SAYING.
WHAT HE'S SAYING.
WHAT HE'S SAYING IS
THAT WHEN A DOCTOR
BECOMES A PATIENT,
HIS PERCEPTIONS
TURN INSIDE OUT.
SEE?
NOW, THAT'S GOOD.
THAT'S VERY GOOD.
WHO KNOWS? I MIGHT WANTO USE IT IN THE MAGAZINE.
YOU'RE A CON ARTIST,
BUT LOVABLE.
[metallic clanging]
[blowing]
I COULDN'T SLEEP.
YOU'RE WORKING?
NOTES.
WALTER SAYS I OUGHT TO
WRITE DOWN EVERYTHING
THAT'S HAPPENING
AND HOW WE FEEL ABOUT IT.
GOOD IDEA.
SOMETIMES I COULD TAPE US.
YEAH, WELL, WHY DON'YOU PUT DOWN, UM,
"EVERY DOCTOR
SHOULD SPEND AT LEAS"ONE WEEK A YEAR
IN A HOSPITAL BED.
THAT'D CHANGE A FEW THINGS,
IN A HURRY."
[laughing]
YEAH.
I KNOW ABOUT THE BOOKSHELF,
AND THE CHINA SOUP TUREEN.
I AM TRYING TO STOP.
I TRULY AM TRYING.
I KNOW, MUSHY, I KNOW.
YOU SMELL GOOD SMOKY.
SEXY.
DO YOU...
DO YOU WANTO REST A MINUTE?
OH, GOD.
[people chattering]
HOW DO YOU LIKE
MICHELLE'S FOOD?
SHE'S THE NEW CATERER.
TERRIFIC.
IF SHE'S SINGLE,
I'LL MARRY HER.
[all laughing]
EVERYONE'S SO HAPPY
TO SEE HAL.
HE LOOKS MARVELOUS.
OH, DON'T LIE, FLO.
HE DOESN'T.
I'M SORRY.
IT'S O.K.
IT'S HIS FIRST NIGHT OUT.
LISTEN, I'VE SEEN YOU
LOOKING BETTER, TOO.
EVEN WHEN MARTHA LOOKS BAD,
SHE LOOKS GOOD.
THANK YOU, CARL.
I CAN USE THAT.
WHERE DID YOU SEE HAL?
HE WAS JUSAT THE BUFFET TABLE.
IT'S A ROUGH SCENE, MARTHA.
YOU HAVE TO DEAL
WITH A LOT OF ANGER.
WHY DON'T YOU COME BACK
TO THE WOMAN'S GROUP
AND GET RID
OF SOME OF IT?
(Carl)
OR PICK UP A LITTLE.
WHAT KIND OF
A LOUSY REMARK IS THAT?
IT WAS A JOKE,
FOR PETE'S SAKE.
ANYWAY, WE COULD USE
YOUR INPUT.
A FEW OF US FREELANCERS
WANT TO SET UP A MEETING
WITH THE PAPER.
YOU KNOW HOW THE MAGAZINE
SECTION IS ON WOMEN'S ISSUES.
EXCUSE ME, I'M GONNA
JUST GO SEE
IF I CAN FIND HAL.
OH, THERE YOU ARE.
MARTHA.
MARTHA.
EVENING, MRS. LEAR.
(Harold)
MARTHA. GOOD EVENING, FRED.
WHAT'S ALL THE FUSS ABOUT?
SO, I SMOKED A CIGARETTE.
ONE? YOU MUST HAVE BEEN
SMOKING ALL THIS TIME.
(Harold)
NO.
IT'S JUST LIKE MY FATHER.
"I WON'T SMOKE, MARTHA.
I KNOW IT COULD KILL ME."
AND ALL THE TIME
SNEAKING CIGARETTES
UNTIL THE DAY HE DIED.
I AM NOT YOUR FATHER.
YOU'RE A DOCTOR.
YOU SHOULD KNOW BETTER!
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
SO I SMOKE.
WHATEVER, WHENEVER.
I PICK UP BUTTS
OUT OF THE GUTTER.
THAT'S SICK.
YOU SHOULD SEE A SHRINK.
MAYBE YOU'RE RIGHT.
MAYBE I SHOULD.
MAKE A CUP.
MMM.
(therapist)
YOU'VE TRIED TO GIVE IT UP?
OH, YES.
AFTER 30 YEARS, IT'S TOUGH.
WELL, HYPNOSIS
CAN BE EFFECTIVE.
SOME PEOPLE, OF COURSE,
RESIST SUGGESTION.
THAT'S WHY I DO
A SINGLE TREATMENT.
IT EITHER WORKS
OR IT DOESN'T.
JUST PUT YOUR HEAD BACK.
(therapist)
NOW ROLL YOUR EYES BACK.
WAY BACK.
EMPTY YOUR MIND.
YOUR EYELIDS
ARE GROWING HEAVY.
VERY HEAVY.
YOU'RE FEELING SLEEPY.
SLEEPY.
SAY THESE WORDS AFTER ME:
"SMOKING IS HARMFUL
TO MY BODY."
SMOKING IS HARMFUL
TO MY BODY.
"I NEED MY BODY
TO LIVE."
I NEED MY BODY TO LIVE.
"I NEED MY LUNGS
TO BREATHE."
I NEED MY LUNGS TO BREATHE.
"CIGARETTE-SMOKING
IS CHOKING MY LUNGS."
CIGARETTE-SMOKING
IS CHOKING MY LUNGS.
"THEREFORE,
I WILL NOT SMOKE."
THEREFORE,
I WILL NOT SMOKE.
"CIGARETTE-SMOKING
IS CHOKING MY LUNGS."
CIGARETTE-SMOKING
IS CHOKING MY LUNGS.
"THEREFORE,
I WILL NOT SMOKE."
THEREFORE,
I WILL NOT SMOKE.
"CIGARETTE-SMOKING
IS CHOKING MY LUNGS."
"THEREFORE, I WILL NOT SMOKE."
"CIGARETTE-SMOKING
IS CHOKING MY LUNGS."
BUT THE DOCTOR WILL
BE BACK IN TO SEE YOU.
THAT WON'T BE NECESSARY.
(secretary)
CAN I GIVE HIM A MESSAGE?
YES. YOU CAN TELL HIM,
IF I'D KNOWN, I WOULD'VE
SENT MY TAPE RECORDER
OVER TO LISTEN
TO HIS TAPE RECORDER.
[horn honking]
(Harold)
WHY DO WE SEE
SUCH A HIGH PERCENTAGE
OF CARDIAC PATIENTS
WHO ARE IMPOTENT SEXUALLY,
WHEN THERE IS NO PHYSIOLOGICAL
BASIS FOR IT?
THE OBVIOUS REASON, WE KNOW,
IS THE FEAR THAT THEY MAY
OVEREXERT THEMSELVES
AND DIE IN THE ACT.
[all chuckling]
BUT HE GOES BEYOND THAT.
THE CARDIAC
NO LONGER SEES HIMSELF
AS THE--
AS THE HARD,
DRIVING MONEY-EARNER,
THE PEACOCK,
THE SWINGER. IMPOTENCE,
STARTS HERE.
AND WHEN WE FAIL
TO DEAL WITH THAT,
BECAUSE OF OUR OWN
HANG-UPS ABOUT SEX,
WE ARE COPPING OUAS DOCTORS.
I'M THINKING OF ADDING
AN EPILOGUE.
"LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, AFTER
EVERYTHING I HAVE SAID TODAY,
"EL PROFESSOR HERE,
"MAKING LOVE TO HIS WIFE,
6 WEEKS AFTER
HIS HEART ATTACK,
WAS ABSOLUTELY SCARED
OUT OF HIS SKULL."
JUST IMAGINE
HOW SCARED SHE WAS.
[people chattering]
THAT NEVER
OCCURRED TO ME.
ROBERT SAYS IT'S O.K. FOR YOU
TO COME BACK TO WORK?
WHAT DOES HE SAY ABOUTHOSE PAINS IN YOUR CHEST?
HEALING PAINS. NORMAL.
NORMAL TO GESHORT OF BREATH
WALKING 20 YARDS?
HE'S A CARDIOLOGIST.
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
I THINK THAT ANYTHING
THAT FEELS THIS BAD
CAN'T BE GOOD.
[sighs]
I THINK I SHOULD GEA SECOND OPINION.
GIFT FROM ONE
OF MY PATIENTS.
[laughing]
NOT BARNEY.
FROM BARNEY I GEOPENING-NIGHT SEATS.
FRONT ROW CENTER,
MIND YOU.
WELL, I ASKED BARNEY
TO CALL YOU,
BECAUSE I WANA TOTALLY INDEPENDENOPINION ON MY CONDITION.
ALL RIGHT.
YOU'VE GOT ROUTS
IN YOUR CHEST.
YOUR LIVER IS ENLARGED
AND TENDER.
YOU'RE IN HEART FAILURE.
HEART FAILURE?
YOUR CARDIOGRAM IS ABNORMAL.
BUT I, UH, CAN'T COMMENT ON IBECAUSE I HAVE
NO BASIS FOR COMPARISON.
DR. ROBERTS DIDN'SEND YOU MY RECORDS?
I ASKED HIM TO.
NO.
IF I WERE YOUR PATIENT,
WHAT WOULD YOU ADVISE?
FROM WHAT I'VE SEEN TODAY,
I'D PUT YOU
ON SOME DIGITALIS
AND A MILD DIURETIC
FOR A COUPLE OF DAYS
AND SEE HOW YOU FELT.
ALL RIGHT. I'D LIKE YOU
TO ORDER THE MEDICATION.
[traffic circulating]
HEY, WHERE ARE MY SKATES?
IF I KEEP FEELING
LIKE THIS, WHY NOT?
I STILL DON'T UNDERSTAND
HOW ROBERTS
COULD'VE MISSED IT.
I MEAN, ANY MEDICAL STUDENWITH A STETHOSCOPE
CAN HEAR FLUID ON THE LUNGS.
WELL, IT'S POSSIBLE
THEY WERE DRY
WHEN HE LISTENED.
HOW COME
YOU'RE APOLOGIZING FOR HIM?
I'M NOT. IT'S JUST...
THE OLD BOY'S
"HYPOCRITIC OATH."
YOUR FEMINIST LIP IS SHOWING.
IN THAT CASE,
MAYBE I WON'T BUY YOU
ONE OF THESE
FOR VALENTINE'S DAY.
HMM. I'D HAVE
TO GROW INTO IT.
OR OUT OF IT.
(woman)
TAKE AN AVERAGE ISSUE OF
THE SUNDAY MAGAZINE SECTION.
ONLY 1 OUT OF 5 FEATURES
WAS WRITTEN BY A WOMAN.
VERY FEW ARE ABOUT WOMEN.
AND OF THOSE, ALMOST NONE
DEALT WITH VALID
WOMEN'S CONCERNS.
WELL, NOW THAT ALL DEPENDS
ON WHAT YOU MEAN BY VALID.
ALL RIGHT, WALTER.
YOU TAKE ME.
I LIKE CLOTHES,
I'M A PRETTY GOOD COOK.
I RUN A HOUSEHOLD.
BUT I'D HATE
TO THINK MY LIFE
IS DEFINED
BY QUICHE RECIPES,
AND FASHION NOTES
FROM PARIS.
WELL, NOW, MARTHA,
YOU'RE NOT TRYING TO
TELL ME THAT YOU'RE TYPICAL?
IS THAT SUPPOSED
TO BE A COMPLIMENT?
[gasping]
[groaning]
CAN I HELP YOU?
NO.
HOLD IT, WALTER.
I DON'T THINK WE SHOULD
BE ADVERSARIES HERE.
THIS MEETING IS NOT MEANTO BE AN ATTACK
ON YOU OR THE PAPER.
IT'S JUST TO PRESENA DIFFERENT POINT OF VIEW.
O.K., O.K.
BUT WOMEN ARE STILL
THE CARETAKERS,
WHETHER YOU LIKE
TO THINK SO OR NOT.
HE'S BEEN DOING EVERYTHING
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO.
HOW COULD IT BE?
DON'T WORRY. AT LEASHE'S IN GOOD HANDS.
LOOKS LIKE ANGINA.
I THINK WE'D BETTER
GET AN ANGIOGRAM.
WHAT'S THAT?
OH, SOME PICTURES.
X-RAY.
OH, COME ON, MOE,
DON'T PATRONIZE HER.
(Harold)
THEY PUSH A CATHETER
UP TO THE FEMORAL ARTERY
INTO THE HEART,
INJECT A DYE AND X-RAY
THE VASCULAR SYSTEM.
BUT YOU JUST HAD
A HEART ATTACK
A FEW MONTHS AGO.
ISN'T THAT DANGEROUS?
SMART.
SMART.
(Harold)
NOT ENOUGH DYE,
YOU DON'T GET GOOD PICTURES.
TOO MUCH AND...
A MORTALITY RATE
OF, WHAT, 5%?
LOOK, WE'RE TALKING ABOUMANHATTAN GENERAL,
WITH MAYBE THE BESANGIOGRAPHER IN THE COUNTRY.
AND WHAT ARE
HIS MORTALITY RATES?
MOE, IF YOU WAITED A WHILE,
THE PAIN MIGHT GO AWAY?
(Moe)
IT WON'T.
IT'LL GET WORSE.
PRETTY SOON
HE WON'T BE ABLE TO WALK.
OR LEAVE THE HOUSE.
(Moe)
I THINK IT'S A MISTAKE.
BUT YOU'RE A DOCTOR.
YOU'VE GOT A RIGHTO MAKE YOUR OWN MISTAKES.
(Moe)
YOU KNOW WHERE I AM.
[sighing]
[sighing]
A CORONARY'S A CORONARY.
YOU COPE,
YOU DEAL WITH IT.
YOU HOPE TO HELL
YOU SURVIVE IT.
THE THING HERE IS,
I'VE GOT A CHOICE.
IT'S KIND OF LIKE,
A GUY ON THE BATTLEFIELD
SAID, WITH THE SHELLS
BURSTING ALL AROUND:
"A PERSON COULD
GET KILLED HERE."
HMM.
HONEY.
IT'S A JOKE.
SO HOW COME
WE'RE NOT LAUGHING?
[beeping]
(Dr. Stark)
DR. LEAR.
I'M DR. STARK
AND I'LL BE
DOING THE PROCEDURE.
HELLO, DOCTOR.
I'VE NEVER SEEN
ANY OF THIS
LYING DOWN BEFORE.
YOU'LL BE GETTING
SOME TRANQUILIZER
IN A MINUTE.
BUT WE CAN GET STARTED.
YOU'RE LOOKING FOR
THE FEMORAL ARTERY?
YES.
IS THE TROCAR GOING IN?
MMM-HMM.
OH! I FELT THE PRESSURE.
GOOD HIT?
(Dr. Stark)
MMM.
[machines buzzing]
[sighs]
(Harold)
THERE I AM, LIVE ON T.V.
[beeping continues]
I'LL BE DAMNED.
THERE'S MY HEART.
WE'RE GOING TO
INJECT SOME DYE NOW.
(Dr. Stark)
YOU MAY FEEL A FLUSH.
FEELING IT?
(Harold)
YEAH.
IT'S LIKE
I'M ON FIRE INSIDE.
[moaning]
I'M HAVING PAIN.
[panting]
MASSIVE PAIN!
[rapid beeping]
(Harold)
THEN I THOUGHT,
"IS THIS IT?
WHAT A DUMB WAY TO DIE!"
WELL.
THEN IT GOA LITTLE LESS,
AND LESS, AND...
LIKE WAVES
GOING OUT TO SEA.
[chuckles]
AND,
YOU WON'T BELIEVE THIS,
THAT'S WHEN THEY
GOT AROUND TO GIVING ME
THE DAMN TRANQUILIZER.
[laughing]
[sobbing]
(man on intercom)
WILL MR. MICHAEL LEAR COME
TO THE INFORMATION COUNTER
IN THE MAIN TERMINAL, PLEASE.
MARTHA.
OH! I WAS AFRAID
I MISSED YOU, THEY SAID
YOUR PLANE GOT IN EARLY.
IT WAS PUSHING
ALL THE WAY.
HERE, LET ME
TAKE THAT ONE.
CAN YOU STAY A WHILE?
WELL, I HAVE TO GO
BACK FOR MY FINALS.
THEN I'M HOME FOR GOOD.
I DECIDED TO FINISH
MY DOCTORATE HERE.
OH, MIKE!
HE WILL BE SO PLEASED!
HOW IS HE?
THE CORONARY ARTERIES
ARE A DISASTER AREA.
THEY CAN'T EVEN FIND
ONE OF THEM
ON THE ANGIOGRAM.
THE OTHER 2
ARE LIKE RUSTY PIPES.
WHY DON'T THEY
HAVE SOMETHING LIKE
DRANO FOR PEOPLE?
[chuckles]
GIVE THEM TIME,
THEY WILL.
DO THEY WANTO DO A BYPASS?
THEY HAVE TO.
TOMORROW.
THEY FOUND
AN ANEURYSM. HUGE.
APPARENTLY HE'S BEEN
WALKING AROUND WITH
A TIME-BOMB INSIDE HIM.
I'M SO GLAD
YOU'RE HERE.
BARNEY, I'M SORRY,
BUT THIS IS...
[all cheering]
PERFECT, PERFECT!
[all chattering]
(Barney)
WE ARE CELEBRATING
2 OPENINGS!
(Harold)
2? I KNOW ABOUT MINE.
MMM. AND MINE.
THURSDAY NIGHIN PHILADELPHIA.
[all exclaiming]
AND LONG RUNS.
DADDY AND BARNEY.
HONEY, ARE YOU GETTING
ALL OF THIS DOWN?
YOU KNOW, MARTHA'S KEEPING
A RECORD OF THE WHOLE THING.
YEAH, I BET THERE'S
A BOOK IN IT.
AND YOU'LL
DO THE MUSICAL.
[all laughing]
(Moe)
THE LEFT LEG WAS INCISED.
A LONG PIECE OF SAPHENOUS VEIN
WAS ISOLATED AND REMOVED.
THE CHEST WAS OPENED,
THE HEARELECTRICALLY FIBRILLATED.
WITH THE BODY
TEMPERATURE REDUCED,
WE OPENED THE
CIRCUMFLEX ARTERY
AND ANASTAMOSED THE VEIN.
THE HEART WAS THEN REPLACED
IN ITS NORMAL POSITION.
A LEFT VENTRICULAR ANEURYSM
WAS EXCLUDED FROM THE
REMAINING PORTION
OF THE VENTRICLE.
THE PATIENT CAME OFF
THE HEART LINE MACHINE
WITHOUT DIFFICULTY.
THE CHEST WAS CLOSED
IN THE USUAL FASHION.
[water running]
(Moe)
IT'S FINISHED!
HE'S BEEN IN
THE RECOVERY ROOM
ABOUT 15 MINUTES.
AND?
OH, HE'S ALL RIGHT.
HE'S ALL RIGHT.
IT WAS ONE HELL
OF A MASSIVE OPERATION,
OF COURSE.
BUT WHERE'S BARNEY?
OH, THAT'S RIGHT.
PHILADELPHIA.
HOW'S IT GOING?
HE'S O.K.
O.K.
I MEAN, CONSIDERING...
BELL DID A BEAUTIFUL JOB.
OH, I TOLD BARNEY
I'D TRY TO GEDOWN THERE ONE NIGHT.
I COULD TAKE
THE METROLINER
ON WEDNESDAY AND--
WOULD YOU FORGET ABOUTHE METROLINER
AND TELL US ABOUT HAL?
BUT I'M TELLING YOU!
OH, HERE'S DR. BELL NOW.
(Michael)
IS HE OUT OF DANGER?
WELL, WE'RE HAVING
SOME PROBLEM
WITH HIS BLOOD PRESSURE.
WELL, IT'S A LITTLE LOW,
BUT--
(Dr. Bell)
IF WE CAN KEEP THE PRESSURE UP
THROUGH THE NIGHT--
I WANNA SEE HIM.
WELL, HE WON'T BE
AWAKE FOR SOME TIME.
I'LL WAIT.
OH, UH, MARTHA,
HE'S EMBARRASSED FOR
YOU TO SEE HIM WITH ALL
THE TUBES AND THE NEEDLES--
EMBARRASSED?
WHAT'S GOING ON?
WHAT ARE YOU
HIDING FROM ME?
NOBODY'S HIDING ANYTHING!
ALL RIGHT,
ALL RIGHT.
[medical instruments beeping]
[gasps]
HE'S DEAD!
(Moe)
NO, HE'S NOT DEAD.
(Martha)
HE'S DEAD!
COME HERE.
HAL!
HAL, YOUR WIFE IS HERE.
SHE'S WORRIED ABOUT YOU.
(Moe)
GIVE HER A SIGN THAYOU'RE ALL RIGHT, O.K.?
[beeping accelerates]
OH, MY GOD.
HE WINKED AT ME.
NOW, DIDN'T I TELL YOU?
[chuckles]
[sniffs]
COME ON.
[beeping continues]
[Martha muffled]
DARLING.
I'M HERE.
DAD?
(Moe)
WE'RE GETTING RID OF THIS
TUBE IN YOUR THROAT.
(Harold)
AM I IN ICE?
YOUR TEMPERATURE
IS OVER 104, DR. LEAR.
WE'RE RUNNING COLD WATER
THROUGH THE BLANKET.
[beeping continues]
(Harold)
WHAT DAY IS IT?
IT'S FRIDAY.
YOU'VE BEEN HERE 6 DAYS.
WHAT HAPPENED?
WE DON'T KNOW.
YOU'RE BLOOD PRESSURE
HAS BEEN NON-EXISTENT.
WE'VE BEEN FIGHTING
FOR YOUR LIFE.
HOW ARE YOU DOING?
WE'RE WINNING.
[doorbell buzzing]
WE'RE JUSWORKING OUR WAY
THROUGH COLLEGE, LADY.
[chuckles]
AH! AH, AH, CAREFUL!
EASY, IT'S JUST A KISS.
I CAN'T WAIT TO GETO MY OWN BED.
HOW DOES HE SEEM?
WEAK.
HE SEEMS O.K.
(Harold)
OH, WOW! I DON'T BELIEVE IT!
AFTER 13 YEARS,
WE HAVE A BEDSPREAD.
WELL, ISN'T THAT WHAYOU SAID YOU WANTED
FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY?
ANOTHER BIRTHDAY?
WHEN IS IT?
YOU MEAN WHEN WAS IT.
YESTERDAY. REMEMBER,
THE NURSES CAME IN,
SANG HAPPY BIRTHDAY,
AND YOU SAID,
"THEY WERE ALL OFF KEY"?
I DID?
HERE'S ANOTHER
PRESENT FOR YOU.
OH, MICHAEL!
THIS IS FANTASTIC.
WELL, YOU ALWAYS ENJOYED
SCULPTING, BUT YOU
NEVER HAD THE TIME.
WELL, NOW I'VE GOPLENTY OF TIME.
[paper rustling]
I NEED A LITTLE BONING UP.
[chuckles]
"THE CLAY..." D-O-E-S.
THAT'S FUNNY-LOOKING.
(Harold)
"D-O" IS "DO,"
"D-O-E" IS A "DOE,"
"D-O-E-S" IS...
WHAT, A BUNCH OF LITTLE DEER?
[Michael chuckles]
(Martha)
YOU'RE NOT JOKING?
"THE CLAY DOES HARDEN
UNLESS KEPT MOIST."
OH, "DOES"!
[laughing]
WELL, WHY DIDN'THEY SAY SO?
I'LL MAKE US SOME TEA.
YOU COULD USE THE TERRACE
AS A STUDIO IN THE SUMMER.
I'M GOING TO THE...
LAKE THIS SUMMER.
(Moe)
EXACTLY WHAT KIND
OF THINGS?
(Harold)
MY HANDWRITING LOOKS ODD.
AND WORDS, I CAN'T GET A...
FIX ON THEM.
(Moe)
THINGS OFTEN HAPPEN
AFTER THIS SURGERY.
SOME AIR MAY GETO THE BRAIN.
(Harold)
BUT IT'S BEEN WEEKS.
(Moe)
WELL, IT TAKES TIME.
(Harold)
MOE, I CAN'T EVEN
FIND YOUR...OFFICE.
[Moe chuckling]
THAT'S EASY.
YOU'VE HAD ENOUGH OF ME!
(Harold)
SOMETHING'S WRONG
WITH MY MIND.
(Moe)
WELL, WE'RE ALL
GETTING OLDER.
I DON'T WANT ANY OF
HIS DAMN DOUBLE TALK.
I DON'T NEED TO BE JOLLIED,
I NEED HIM TO LISTEN.
YOU WANNA TRY TO
EXPLAIN IT TO ME?
WAIT.
[sighs]
O.K.
IS IT LIKE VERTIGO?
NO, NO VERTIGO
IS WHERE...
YOU STAND STILL
AND THE WORLD SPINS.
AND WITH ME...
THE WORLD STANDS STILL
AND I SPIN.
DO YOU UNDERSTAND?
[sighing]
I CAN SEE THEM TURNING OFF,
MOE AND BELL.
IT'S JUST TOO THREATENING
FOR THEM TO ADMIT...
THERE'S BRAIN DAMAGE.
OH, HAL.
I THINK I SHOULD HAVE A
NEUROLOGICAL CONSULTATION.
MAYBE YOU SHOULD
SEE A PSYCHIATRIST.
YOU THINK I FORGEBECAUSE I WANT TO?
NO, HAL, THAT'S NOWHAT I MEANT.
[exclaiming]
WHAT'S HAPPENING TO ME?
[sighs]
[breathing heavily]
[moans]
C-COLD!
[moaning]
HAL, OPEN YOUR MOUTH.
OPEN YOUR MOUTH.
HELP ME.
UNDER THE TONGUE.
THAT'S IT.
[sighing]
[ringing]
(receptionist)
DOCTOR'S OFFICE.
YES, IT'S MRS. HAROLD LEAR.
I NEED TO TALK
TO DR. SILVERMAN.
DR. SILVERMAN'S OFF TONIGHT,
DR. WARREN'S COVERING.
WOULD YOU PUME THROUGH, PLEASE?
[sighs]
(Dr. Warren)
HELLO?
OH, DR. WARREN.
MY HUSBAND IS A PATIENOF DR. SILVERMAN'S.
HE HAD CARDIAC SURGERY
4 MONTHS AGO.
HE HAS A TEMPERATURE OF 105
AND HE'S SHAKING WITH CHILLS.
WHAT KIND OF CARDIAC SURGERY?
DOUBLE BYPASS.
WHAT MEDICATION
HAS HE BEEN TAKING?
PLEASE, HE HAS 105!
YOU'D BETTER GET HIM
TO THE HOSPITAL.
WHAT HOSPITAL?
MANHATTAN GENERAL.
BUT YOU TAKE HIM
TO EMERGENCY.
THEY'LL KNOW WHAT TO DO.
AND YOU CALL ME
IN THE MORNING.
[clicks]
YE--
NO, NO, NO.
NO H-HOSPITAL!
WE HAVE TO.
COME ON, WE HAVE TO.
I CAN'T. I CAN'T MAKE IT!
[whimpers]
[whispers]
WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?
ASPIRIN! ASPIRIN.
AND KEEP ME WARM.
[moans]
[Harold coughing]
HERE WE GO.
EASY.
EASY, EASY, EASY.
[coughs]
[shivering]
DON'T DIE.
OH, PLEASE DON'T DIE.
DON'T DIE.
DADDY, DON'T DIE.
PLEASE, PLEASE,
DON'T DIE.
[phone rings]
[grunts]
HELLO?
(Moe)
MARTHA?
OH, MOE.
MARTHA, WHAT'S HAPPENING?
I JUST CHECKED
WITH DR. WARREN.
MOE, YOU'VE GOT TO DO
SOMETHING. YOU'VE JUST GOT TO.
ALL RIGHT, I SHOULD
RUN TESTS BUT...
I'LL TAKE A CHANCE.
I'LL START HIM ON STEROIDS,
PREDNISONE.
TWENTY MILLIGRAMS.
Q-I-D FOR 2 WEEKS
AND MAKE SURE YOU CALL ME
EVERY MORNING. LET ME KNOW
HOW HE FEELS.
[Harold whistling]
[snaps fingers]
EVERY DAY,
YOU'RE GETTING BETTER.
IT'S A MIRACLE.
I CAN FEEL THE STRENGTH
COMING BACK.
I CAN FEEL ALL THE JUICES
STARTING TO FLOW AGAIN.
AND I MEAN ALL THE JUICES.
[sighs]
HAPPY VALENTINE'S...
DAY.
DON'T KNOCK IT.
IT'S TERRIFIC.
(Martha)
YOU WANT TO TALK
ABOUT THIS?
I'VE GOT TO TONE UP
THE ARMS.
I KNEW I'D FIND A USE
FOR THESE MEDICAL BOOKS.
I'M SURE THE PUBLISHER
WOULD BE THRILLED
WITH THAT ENDORSEMENT.
I DID A GREAT NEW EXERCISE
YESTERDAY.
WHAT WAS IT?
I CAN'T REMEMBER.
I'D LIKE TO DO
SOME WORD ASSOCIATION.
I'LL
SHOW YOU A WORD,
GIVE YOU THE ASSOCIATION,
AND THEN YOU REPEAT IBACK TO ME.
FINGER, HAND.
RADIATOR, GREEN.
SALT, PEPPER.
ROCK, SHOE.
NOW YOU TELL ME. FINGER?
HAND.
(doctor)
RADIATOR?
HOT.
UH, NO. UH...
UH, PEPPER.
I'M SORRY.
I UNDERSTAND.
IT'S BEEN A TOUGH
COUPLE OF DAYS
AND A LOT OF TESTS.
TOMORROW AGAIN?
YOUR DIAGNOSIS
OF YOUR PROBLEM IS...
VERY ACCURATE, DR. LEAR.
(doctor)
YOU HAVE ORGANIC BRAIN DAMAGE.
IS...IT REVERSIBLE?
COMPENSATORY,
BUT NOT REVERSIBLE.
THAT MEANS THAT...
I CAN'T WORK ANYMORE.
NOT THE WAY YOU USED TO.
DO YOU WANT ME TO SEND
THE FULL REPORT TO ANY DOCTOR?
NO, NO, JUST SEND IT TO ME.
[classical music playing]
[inaudible]
[door opening]
(Martha)
HELLO, HELLO?
YEAH, I'M IN HERE.
[door closing]
YOU CAN'T IMAGINE
HOW SPECTACULAR
THE MOZART WAS.
I'M SO GLAD YOU MADE ME GO.
WHAT ARE YOU READING?
THE OPERATING-ROOM
NOTES OF MY...
BYPASS SURGERY.
UH, I ASKED FOR A COPY.
[sighs]
I HAD
A SECOND HEART ATTACK.
DOES IT SAY THAT?
NO, BUT IT MUST HAVE
HAPPENED IMMEDIATELY
AFTER IN THE RECOVERY ROOM.
WHAT MAKES YOU THINK SO?
WELL, IT HAD TO BE.
IT FITS.
I LEFT THE OPERATING ROOM
WITH NORMAL BLOOD PRESSURE.
ALL MY LIFE SIGNS WERE...
STABLE.
BELL SAID I WOULD BE
IN I.C.U. 2 DAYS.
I WAS IN THERE FOR 9.
I CAME OUT WITH A CHUNK
OF MY BRAIN DEAD AND
ENOUGH OF MY HEART MUSCLE
GONE THAT I--
I NEVER HAD A CHANCE
TO GET WELL.
YOU'RE NOT SURPRISED.
YOU KNEW.
MOE FELT IT WAS BESNOT TO UPSET YOU.
I SEE.
YOU PUT YOUR HEADS TOGETHER
AND DECIDED
WHAT I SHOULD KNOW.
HAL, WHAT POSSIBLE GOOD
COULD IT HAVE DONE
FOR YOU TO KNOW?
WHAT GOOD?
I'VE BEEN LIVING ALL THIS TIME
UNDER THE WRONG HYPOTHESES.
I HAD PRESUMED THAT THEY FOUND
A TERRIBLE HEARAND I WAS LUCKY TO COME OFF
THE TABLE ALIVE.
NOW I FIND OUT MY HEARWASN'T SO TERRIBLE.
IN 6 MONTHS, I SHOULD HAVE
BEEN ABLE TO SWIM A MILE,
TO JOG, TO--TO WORK.
AND...
I WAS SO CLOSE.
I WAS THERE.
BUT YOU HAD ANOTHER ATTACK.
WELL, WHY DIDN'T HE TELL
ME THAT? THE TRUTH WOULD
HAVE BEEN EASIER!
HAL, DON'T GET EXCITED.
IT'S NOT GOOD FOR YOU.
HOW DO YOU KNOW
WHAT'S GOOD FOR ME?
IS IT GOOD FOR ME
TO PICK UP THESE BOOKS?
TO MOVE THIS?
TO PICK UP THIS TYPEWRITER?
IS THAT WHAT'S GOING
TO KILL ME?
HAL, STOP IT, PLEASE, NOW.
DOUBLE TALK!
DOUBLE TALK, THAT'S ALL
I GET FROM HIM.
HE LOOKS AT MY CARDIOGRAM
AND HE SAYS, "STABLE."
IF I'M SO STABLE, WHY DO I
FEEL GOOD TODAY AND YESTERDAY
I COULDN'T EVEN BREATHE?
YOU KNOW, JUST ONCE,
JUST ONCE I WOULD LIKE FOR HIM
TO SAY, "I DO NOT KNOW."
BUT WHAT I GET FROM HIM IS,
"YOU'RE ALWAYS TRYING
TO DO TOO MUCH."
I-IT'S YOUR FAULT, YOUR FAULT,
NEVER THEIRS.
ALL RIGHT, I KNOW
YOU'RE IN A RAGE
AT YOUR SICKNESS,
AT THE DOCTORS
AND I UNDERSTAND, HAL.
I REALLY DO.
IF IT WERE HAPPENING TO ME--
YES, WE DO!
BECAUSE YOU DON'TAKE IT OUT ON THEM.
YOU BRING IT HOME TO ME,
AND I DON'T KNOW
WHAT TO DO WITH IT.
MY QUARREL ISN'T WITH YOU.
YOU'RE SPLENDID.
DON'T "SPLENDID" ME.
JUST TELL ME WHAT I'M TO DO.
WELL, YELL BACK AT ME
LIKE YOU ALWAYS DO.
DON'T YOU SEE I CAN'T?
BECAUSE YOU'RE...
I DON'T WANT TO HURT YOU.
I NEVER WANT TO HURT YOU.
(Martha)
HE STARTED DRAWING
HIS OWN BLOOD.
HAVING IT ANALYZED.
KEEPING CHARTS.
IT'S THE DOCTOR IN HIM.
TRYING TO UNDERSTAND
THE FEVERS.
THE CRAZY UPS AND DOWNS.
MOE, FEVERS HAVE
TO BE CAUSED BY SOMETHING.
MAYBE I SHOULD GIVE HIM
ANOTHER WORKOUT.
SCHEDULE SOME APPOINTMENTS
FOR DR. LEAR.
IF YOU COULD JUST FIND OUWHY, THEN--THEN YOU COULD
STABILIZE IT.
MARTHA, THIS IS A MAN
WITH A HEART MUSCLE
THAT'S BARELY FUNCTIONING,
AND ANY CHANGE, FOOD,
HEAT, FLUID, ANYTHING,
IS ENOUGH TO UPSEITS BALANCE.
I UNDERSTAND THAT, BUT--
LOOK,
WE'RE NOT GOING TO KEEP HIM
AROUND FOR 10 YEARS.
BUT MAYBE WE CAN HANG ON
FOR A FEW MONTHS.
EVEN A YEAR.
[telephone buzzes]
YES?
ALL RIGHT, I'LL BE READY.
[hangs up telephone]
MARTHA, I HAVE AN EMERGENCY.
(Moe)
I'LL CALL HAL LATER.
O.K.?
[mumbling]
[gasping]
[Harold shushing]
HONEY, IT'S ALL RIGHT,
I'M HERE. I'M HERE.
[panting]
[dog barking]
HMM. SMELLS MUSTY.
IT SMELLS TERRIFIC.
WE MADE IT, KID.
WE'LL HAVE TO MAKE
A GROCERY RUN.
NOT TODAY.
YOU'RE GONNA GET A GREATUNA FISH SANDWICH.
LOOK AT THIS.
THERE'S FRUIT AND CHEESE
IN THERE.
I KNOW WHAT TO DO
WITH THIS.
"EAT AND DRINK UP,
YOU'RE BEHIND A FEW.
BOB AND ANNIE, CHET,
HELEN AND PHIL."
PHIL, TOO? I DIDN'T KNOW
THEY WERE AT THE LAKE.
L'CHAIM.
L'CHAIM.
GRANDMA!
[all laughing]
JUDY, WILL YOU TELL
THIS CHARACTER
THE NAME'S MARTHA?
RIGHT.
GIVE GRANDPA
A HUG THERE.
GIVE ME THE BIGGEST OLD HUG
YOU CAN GIVE ME,
AND THEN WE'RE GOING
TO GO FISHING.
WE'RE FISHING. WE HAVEN'CAUGHT ANYTHING YET,
BUT I'M PRETTY SURE WE WILL.
[bell tolling]
THIS IS A
KITTY CAT,
AND
ME-OH
MEOW.
AND THIS IS THE FELLOW
WITH THE GREAT BIG EYES,
AN OWL.
HOO HOO.
THE CHILD IS A GENIUS.
[Judy giggling]
AND THIS
IS A...
IT'S A...
SHEEP.
BAAAA.
(Harold)
BAAAA.
NOW THIS TABLE,
YOU WON'T BELIEVE THIS,
MY GRANDFATHER WON
IN A CRAP GAME.
[all exclaiming]
I'LL BET YOU DID.
THEY ALWAYS TOLD ME YOU
WON IT IN A POKER GAME.
OH, THAT'S RIGHT.
TABLE STAKES.
[all laughing]
TABLE STAKES?
THAT'S MY CUE.
I HAVE WRITTEN A POEM
FOR HAL.
ANOTHER POEM, ANNIE?
HE'S GOT NO CHOICE.
HE'S A CAPTIVE.
[all laughing]
(Martha)
LET'S HEAR IT.
PLEASE DON'T DANCE
UPON THE TABLE
NOT TO SAY THAYOU'RE NOT ABLE
EXCEPT THAT MARTHA
MIGHT COMPLAIN
IF YOU ACCIDENTALLY
KICK OVER THE CHAMPAGNE
[all chattering]
(Annie)
SO LIGHT THE CANDLES
BANG THE DRUMS
LET THE CELEBRATION STARAND PLEASE ACCEPTHIS ACCOLADE
TO YOUR STRONG
AND TENDER HEARAW, ANNIE.
THAT IS SO NICE!
[all chattering]
(boy)
MOMMY! MOMMY!
I'LL GO.
ARE YOU SURE?
BECAUSE I CAN...
YEAH. IT MIGHT JUST BE HIS
TEDDY OR SOMETHING.
LET MARTHA TAKE CARE
OF THE BABY.
IT'S ALL RIGHT.
[whimpering]
HEY THERE, CHARACTER.
WHAT'S GOING ON?
[whimpering]
OH, NO, NO, NO.
THAT'S O.K.
IT'S O.K.
YOU KNOW WHAT WE'RE
GOING TO DO TOMORROW?
WE'RE GOING TO BAKE
SOME COOKIES.
WHAT KIND DO YOU WANT? HUH?
[whimpering]
SUGAR?
CHOCOLATE?
(boy)
CHOCOLATE.
THERE, THERE, THERE.
GRANDMA'S HERE.
GRANDMA'S HERE.
(Martha)
I WISH WE'D HAD A BABY.
WELL, WE TALKED ABOUT IT.
IT WAS NEVER
THE RIGHT TIME.
I KNOW.
[sniffles]
I JUSWISH.
WHERE IS EVERYBODY?
WELL, MICHAEL'S OUT SAILING,
AND YOUR FATHER'S ASLEEP.
THAT WAS A PRETTY BIG NIGHWE HAD LAST NIGHT, YOU KNOW.
HEY, CHARACTER. DO YOU WANNA
WAIT TILL WE GET THESE BAKED?
[Harold gasping]
MARTHA!
MARTHA!
ARE YOU IN FAILURE?
[panting]
IF I GET A-ANY WORSE,
CALL THE RESCUE SQUAD.
WHAT IS IT?
(Harold)
NOTHING.
NOTHING.
TAKE HIM DOWNSTAIRS, JUDY.
I'LL BE FINE.
I'LL BE READY FOR
YOUR COOKIES.
[panting]
I'M GONNA CALL MOE.
HE'D BETTER INCREASE
YOUR DIURETICS.
OR SHOOT ME.
[oxygen hissing]
AND BE SURE TO PUIN THAT DISHWASHER
FOR NEXT SUMMER.
I'M TIRED OF DISHPAN HANDS.
NAG, NAG, NAG.
HAL, WE'D BETTER GESTARTED FOR THE AIRPORT.
WHERE'S THE RESOF THE BAGS?
NO, I'M JUST TAKING
MY BRIEFCASE
WITH MY SHAVING GEAR.
I'M BRINGING THE REST WHEN
I DRIVE DOWN TOMORROW.
WHEN YOU GET TO
THE AIRPORT,
WILL YOU ASK THEM
TO RADIO AHEAD
FOR A WHEELCHAIR?
WHY NOT A STRETCHER?
HE'S JUST SO
PIGHEADED!
HE INSISTS ON
GOING ALONE.
[bell tolling]
[birds chirping]
I CAN MANAGE.
CALL ME WHEN
YOU GET HOME.
STOP WORRYING,
MUSHY, NOW.
[breathing heavily]
PARDON ME, SIR.
EXCUSE ME,
EXCUSE ME. ARE YOU GOING
TO THE TAXI STAND?
[panting]
EXCUSE ME, SIR.
UH...
I HAVE A HEART PROBLEM,
AND I CAN'T CARRY THIS.
COULD YOU HELP ME?
WHAT KIND
OF HEART PROBLEM?
I HAD SURGERY AND A BYPASS.
HAS HE GOT A SCAR?
YES, MA'AM.
YOU KNOW, SOMEONE COULD BE
CARRYING A BOMB.
YES, I...
REALLY NEVER
THOUGHT OF THAT.
[panting]
[phone ringing]
[phone buzzing]
YES?
(woman)
I'VE GOT MRS. LEAR
ON THE PHONE.
MARTHA! HOW'S THE
WEATHER UP THERE?
(Martha)
MOE, WHAT IS IT?
HE'S HAD A BAD NIGHT.
BUT HE'S FEELING BETTER.
I TOOK AN X-RAY
THIS MORNING.
IT'S NOT GOOD, MARTHA.
(Moe)
HIS HEART'S ENLARGED.
(Martha)
ENLARGED?
(Moe)
THERE'S DETERIORATION
THERE.
ONE OF HIS BYPASSES
MAY BE CLOSED OFF.
I'M BEING STRAIGHWITH YOU.
ALL RIGHT.
LAST SPRING
YOU SAID MONTHS.
HE HAS ALMOST NO
HEART MUSCLE, MARTHA.
BUT YOU MUST HAVE
SOME IDEA OF HOW LONG?
YOU MUST HAVE HAD OTHER
PATIENTS LIKE HIM.
NO.
NO ONE AS BAD AS HE IS
WHO STAYED ALIVE
THIS LONG.
WELCOME HOME.
L'CHAIM.
L'CHAIM.
WHAT DID MOE SAY?
OH, HE SAID,
"TAKE IT EASY."
AND?
HONEY,
NO SHOP TALK, HUH?
THIS IS OUR FIRST NIGHHOME TOGETHER.
I LIKE THOSE PAJAMAS.
WHERE'D I GET THEM?
ITALY?
NO, MEXICO CITY.
REMEMBER THAT LITTLE
SHOP IN THE HOTEL?
OH, SOMEONE CALLED.
I SAID YOU'D
MEET THEM.
WHO?
WHERE?
OH, IT WAS...
ESTELLE?
BARNEY?
LINDA?
JUDY?
NO.
FROM THE TIMES? WALTER?
NO, DAMN IT.
FLO? MY MOTHER?
THAT'S IT. YOUR MOTHER.
SHE'S ARRIVING
WEDNESDAY ON THE
4:00 BUS.
[horn honking]
(Martha)
AND THIS IS
ONE OF THE BESFRENCH RESTAURANTS
IN NEW YORK.
WE HAD TO GET BARNEY TO
MAKE US THE RESERVATIONS.
THAT'S NICE.
MARTHA,
ISN'T THAT FOOD
A LITTLE RICH?
MAYBE MOM WOULD RATHER
SOMETHING ELSE.
CHINESE?
CHINESE IS NICE.
THERE'S THAT TERRIFIC PLACE
DOWN IN THE VILLAGE.
WHAT'S IT--
PEKING INN.
OF COURSE,
IF THEY MAKE ITOO SPICY...
YOU ORDER FOR ME,
MARTHA, LOVE,
YOU KNOW WHAI LIKE.
ALL RIGHT, UH,
CHICKEN MATZO
BALL SOUP
ONE MATZO BALL
IS ENOUGH.
AND A CORNED
BEEF SANDWICH
UH, VERY LEAN.
OR WOULD TONGUE
BE BETTER?
I GUESS THE
CORNED BEEF.
MAKE THAT 2 AND
I'LL HAVE COFFEE.
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
SHOULD I HAVE THE
TURKEY OR SCALLOPS?
EITHER ONE.
I'LL TRY THE SCALLOPS.
(waiter)
YOU WANT TO KNOW THE TRUTH?
THEY'RE FROZEN.
BUT THE SOLE IS NICE.
O.K., THE SOLE.
DIDN'T WE HAVE,
UH, SOLE...
LAST NIGHT?
LAST WEEK.
ANYWAY, I'M NOT TOO
CRAZY ABOUT SOLE.
WAITER! WAITER!
COULD I CHANGE THATO TURKEY, PLEASE?
(waiter)
WHY NOT?
ARE THEY GOING TO BRING
BREAD AND BUTTER?
THEY USUALLY DO.
I SHOULDN'T EAT IT,
THOUGH, SHOULD I?
IF I'M HAVING A SANDWICH?
MAYBE I'D BE
BETTER OFF WITH
THE SOLE.
HONEY, DO YOU MIND IF I
CHANGED MY ORDER AGAIN?
I DON'T GIVE A DAMN
WHAT ANYONE ORDERS!
I'LL BE BACK.
(Harold)
MARTHA!
[sobbing]
YOU DON'T HAVE
TO SAY ANYTHING.
I--
I AM
TRAPPED IN HELPLESSNESS.
YOURS, HERS,
MINE.
GOD, I AM DROWNING
IN IT!
HOW DO YOU
THINK I FEEL?
OH, I AM SO
ASHAMED. GOD!
I DIDN'T MEAN IT.
I COULDN'T.
I COULDN'T.
MUSHY,
I CAN'T ESCAPE.
YOU CAN.
GET AWAY FROM ME.
PLEASE, GO SOMEWHERE.
NO. YOU SHOULD
LEAVE ME.
I WOULD.
I CAN'T WALK!
[sobbing]
[audience laughing
on television]
(woman #1)
YOUR BRIEF AFFAIR
WITH PETER WAS MEANINGFUL.
REMEMBER THAT, THEN.
HOLD ON TO IT.
(woman #2)
BRIEF AFFAIR!
[audience laughing]
MY BRIEF AFFAIR?
MAUDE, I WAS THE BIG LOVE
OF HIS LIFE.
ME. YOU WERE JUST A FLING!
VIVIENNE, I AM TRYING
TO BE KIND,
SO KNOCK IT OFF.
[audience laughing]
YOU'RE FULL OF BULL.
[audience laughing]
VIVIENNE, I CAN ACCEPTHAT COMMENBECAUSE I KNOW IT COMES FROM
A HEART THAT IS BROKEN.
BUT DON'T PUSH IT, OR YOU'LL
HAVE A LEG TO MATCH.
[laughing]
[coughing]
QUICK, GET ANOTHER
CHANNEL.
SOMETHING SAD.
NEWS.
THAT'S TOO SAD.
[coughing]
YOU SURE YOU'RE NOIN FAILURE?
[coughing]
NO. I KNOW
WHEN I'M IN FAILURE.
I'VE BEEN THERE.
MARTHA, GET OFF
THE CASE.
[coughing]
WHAT DOES MOE SAY ABOUTHE WHEEZING AND COUGHING?
"MAYBE A VIRUS.
"GIVE HIM ASPIRIN.
LET'S WATCH IT."
I COULD WRITE THE
DIALOGUE MYSELF.
WOULDN'T HE BE BETTER
OFF IN THE HOSPITAL?
YES!
BUT YOU HEARD HIM.
"MARTHA, GET OFF THE CASE."
I'M SO TIRED OF
BEING A NAG!
SOMETIMES I THINK I'D...
JUST LIKE TO...
FLY AWAY SOMEWHERE.
LOOK, I'M HERE.
FLY!
AT LEAST FOR A COUPLE
OF HOURS.
I MEAN IT.
GO. DO SOMETHING.
ANYTHING.
[all chattering]
$2,500 THIS WAY NOW.
$2000-- AND $3,000.
$3,000 THIS WAY, AT $3,000.
$3,500.
$3,500 ON MY RIGHT NOW,
FOR $3,500.
FOR $3,500!
ON THE RIGHT SIDE. LADY'S BID.
$3,500.
[mallet knocks]
NEXT LOT THIS EVENING
IS A VERY GOOD EXAMPLE
OF VENETIAN GLASS.
A VERY HANDSOME
CHANDELIER,
AS YOU CAN SEE
COMING OUT HERE.
WHAT DO YOU THINK,
FOR THIS PIECE?
HANDSOME LIGHT. $500?
$500 BID THIS WAY AT $500.
$550.
$550 THIS WAY. WE'RE GOING
AT $550. $600.
$600 THIS SIDE OF THE ROOM.
IT'S $650.
$650 ON MY RIGHT, AT $650.
$700.
$700, WHERE I'M POINTING
ON THE LEFT SIDE NOW FOR $750.
$800. $850.
$850, THIS WAY. $900 ANYWHERE?
$900.
$900 ON THE AISLE HERE,
THANK YOU, MA'AM.
$900, WHERE I'M POINTING.
$900 ON THE AISLE, WHERE I'M
POINTING ON THE RIGHT SIDE.
[mallet knocks]
THE NEXT LOT WE HAVE THIS
EVENING
IS CERTAINLY ONE OF THE
MORE INTERESTING ONES.
IT'S A CARROUSEL HORSE THASAW MANY YEARS OF SERVICE
AT ASBURY PARK IN NEW JERSEY.
WHAT DO YOU THINK TO START AT?
A COUPLE HUNDRED
SOMEWHERE? $200?
$200 BID, THANK YOU, AT $200.
$200 LOT, AND 50.
THANK YOU, SIR. $250.
$300. $300 LOT, AND 50. $350.
$400. $450, YOUR TURN. $450.
$500, DOWN AT THE LEFT.
$550, THANK YOU.
$550.
$600. YOU LIKE. $600. $650.
$650, STANDING AT THE RIGHSIDE, AT $650.
IT'S $700. YOUR TURN AT $700.
$700 ON THE LEFT, ALL RIGHT.
$750.
MAKE IT $750.
$750, WHERE I'M POINTING,
$800.
$800 LOT NOW, $800.
$800...
[wheezing]
WHAT IS IT?
WE'D BETTER GETO THE HOSPITAL.
[coughing]
OH, MUSHY, WHY DON'T YOU GO
HOME AND GET SOME REST?
I WILL.
I WILL, SWEETIE.
PILL TIME!
WHAT'S THE
BLUE ONE?
THAT'S MY APHRODISIAC.
WHAT'S THE TEMPERATURE?
(Martha)
105!
DON'T THEY CALL YOU?
SH-SHOULDN'T THEY BE
DOING SOMETHING?
MARTHA, CALM DOWN.
THEY HAVE ORDERS.
HE'S IN A HOSPITAL.
HE'S BEING TAKEN
CARE OF.
[laughing]
YOU SHOULD GO ON HOME.
I'M STAYING.
[clicks]
THANK YOU.
[oxygen hissing]
[breathing heavily]
WE'D LIKE TO LISTEN
TO YOUR LUNGS AGAIN.
[groans]
YEAH.
BREATHE, PLEASE.
[wheezing]
AGAIN, PLEASE.
AND AGAIN.
[wheezing]
[doctors chattering]
HIS ROUTS ARE WORSE.
SHOULDN'T HE HAVE
MORE DIURETICS?
NO.
KEEPS HIM AWAKE.
(Harold)
WHERE YOU BEEN?
HAD A CIGARETTE.
OH, I WISH YOU'D STOP,
MUSHY.
WHAT'S THE PRESSURE?
90 OVER 56.
WHAT IS THAT NOW?
103.9.
OH, FEELS HOTTER.
TRY TO GESOME SLEEP, DOCTOR.
[wheezing]
[sneezing repeatedly]
HAL, WHAT IS IT?
[wheezing]
I CAN'T STOP.
[continues sneezing]
MY NOSE IS BURNING.
MY HUSBAND
CAN'T STOP SNEEZING.
IF--IF SOMEBODY COULD JUST--
AS SOON AS THEY'RE FREE,
THEY'LL COME.
THERE ARE OTHER
SICK PEOPLE HERE.
[Harold continues sneezing]
I'VE GOT TO STOP.
PLEASE, MY HUSBAND
CAN'T BREATHE!
WHO TURNED THIS UP?
IT'S TWICE AS HIGH
AS IT SHOULD BE.
PROBABLY BURNED HIS NOSE.
I'LL GET SOME OINTMENT.
[panting]
[both chattering]
EXCUSE ME.
HE NEEDS TO SLEEP.
CAN'T HE HAVE SOMETHING?
WHEN IS DR. LEAR
DUE FOR VALIUM?
WELL, NOT FOR
ANOTHER 2 HOURS.
BUT HE'S DESPERATE
FOR SLEEP.
[yawning]
WHO ISN'T?
O.K., GIVE HIM
WHATEVER HE WANTS.
THANK YOU.
[blood pressure
cuff inflating]
WHAT NOW?
A LITTLE LOWER.
82 OVER 56.
LIFT ME HIGHER?
I'M GETTING WEAKER.
WEAKER.
(Martha)
NURSE! NURSE!
YOU'VE GOTO CALL THE INTERN.
HE'S GONE TO SLEEP.
WAKE HIM!
I CAN'T, MRS. LEAR,
NOT IF I WANTO KEEP MY JOB.
I'M SORRY.
[Harold gasping]
[gasping]
IT'S GETTING WORSE.
GOT TO GET...
THE DOCTOR.
YOU'VE GOT TO DO SOMETHING.
WHAT IS IT NOW?
ABOUT THE SAME.
IS IT REALLY?
NO, IT'S IN
THE LOW 70'S.
(nurse)
I DON'T LIKE IT.
I'M GONNA WAKE THE DOCTOR.
YOU'RE NOT FEELING
TOO WELL?
WELL, LET'S HAVE A LISTEN.
LEAN FORWARD PLEASE.
I CAN'T.
[breathing with difficulty]
BE RIGHT BACK.
BUT...
THEY HAVE
TO DO SOMETHING.
THEY WILL.
THEY WILL, DARLING.
I'M GONNA STOP
ALL HIS MEDICATIONS
TILL THE DOCTORS
SEE HIM IN ROUNDS AT 8:00.
BUT, T-THAT'S OVER
2 HOURS FROM NOW.
I'LL CALL DR. SILVERMAN.
I JUST CALLED HIM.
I'M GONNA STARAN I.V. ON HIM.
WHAT FOR?
TO ESTABLISH A LINE
IF WE NEED IT.
I CAN'T HEAR IT.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
(Harold)
IT MEANS I'M DYING.
LISTEN TO ME.
I'M DEHYDRATED,
B-BARELY ANY PULSE,
NO URINE
SINCE MY FEVER
SPIKED LAST NIGHT,
MY KIDNEYS
HAVE STOPPED FUNCTIONING.
TELL THEM TO HURRY,
OR I'LL DIE.
(nurse)
YES, DR. LEAR.
DON'T WORRY,
THEY'LL BE HERE SOON.
WHAT TIME IS IT NOW?
7:00. SOON, SOON.
GOD HELP ME.
HANG ON, DARLING.
I'M DROWNING.
CAN'T--CAN'T BREATHE.
[shouting]
OH, TRY, TRY!
COME ON!
THAT'S IT. O.K.
[doctors chattering]
HERE WE ARE.
GOOD MORNING, SIR.
HOW ARE YOU DOING?
WOULD YOU WAIT OUTSIDE, MA'AM.
(doctor)
C.C., STAT.
GET A GRIP.
START ANOTHER LINE, DOCTOR.
GET AN EMPTY BAG.
THIS MAN'S GOING INTO ARREST.
(Moe)
MARTHA.
MOE!
HE'S DYING!
ALL RIGHT, MARTHA,
I'M HERE NOW.
HAL?
I DON'T KNOW
WHAT TO DO!
HAL, WE KNOW
WHAT TO DO.
WHY HAVEN'T YOU
MOVED HIM BEFORE THIS?
GET HIM ON A GURNEY.
I'M DYING, DOCTOR.
HURRY, EVERYONE.
[doctors chattering]
WATCH THE TANK!
[all chattering]
WATCH THE MACHINE.
CAN I--
WHAT FLOOR?
4! 4!
PLEASE!
I'M SORRY, NO.
WHAT SHOULD I DO?
JUST WAIT.
THEY'LL COME FOR YOU.
[television playing]
[people chattering]
HUSBAND?
MINE, TOO.
HE WAS WAITING
FOR A PLANE AT KENNEDY
AND JUST DROPPED.
WHAT DID THE DOCTOR SAY?
HIS, UH, AORTA IS RIPPED OPEN.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW
WHAT AN AORTA IS.
CRAZY,
ISN'T IT?
DON'T LOSE HOPE.
THEY'RE STILL
WORKING ON HIM.
BUT, UH,
IT LOOKS BAD, MARTHA.
IS HE CONSCIOUS?
MMM-HMM.
I'LL LET YOU KNOW
AS SOON AS YOU CAN GO IN.
MARTHA,
I WANT YOU TO KNOW,
THEY HAVE MADE
A TRULY HEROIC EFFORT.
MRS. BAILEY.
YES?
DON'T LOSE HOPE.
WE MAY STILL BE ABLE
TO SEE HIM BEFORE...
MARTHA,
AT LEAST YOU'RE SURE
EVERYONE DID
EVERYTHING THEY COULD.
[angrily]
NO, THEY DIDN'T.
HE KNEW WHAT WAS HAPPENING.
HE BEGGED, HE PLEADED.
AND THEY WOULDN'T LISTEN.
FOR 8 HOURS!
THEY WOULDN'T LISTEN!
AND WHAT WAS I DOING?
WATCHING THE FOUL UPS,
THE INSTITUTIONAL
MADNESS OF IT ALL
AND ACCEPTING IT!
I SHOULD'VE RUN OUOF THAT HALL
AND SCREAMED
AND BEAT AT THEM!
MARTHA, DON'T.
YOU WERE HERE WITH HIM.
[sobbing]
DID YOU KNOW
THEY HAVE
ANOTHER WAITING ROOM
WITH A TELEVISION SET IN IT?
AND I ALWAYS WONDERED WHY.
AND NOW I THINK I KNOW.
ONE IS FOR BOREDOM,
AND THE OTHER FOR DESPAIR.
MARTHA, WE'VE ALL KNOWN
THIS WAS COMING.
FOR 3 YEARS.
I KNOW
AND I SHOULD BE READY.
BUT I'M NOT.
I CALLED JUDY.
SHE'S GETTING IN TOUCH
WITH MICHAEL.
GOOD.
WHAT ELSE CAN I DO?
WRITE AN OBITUARY.
YOU WANT IT IN THE TIMES?
DO THEY HAVE A PICTURE?
I DON'T-- I DON'T KNOW.
DON'T FORGET TO MENTION
HIS PROGRAM.
THEY TOOK IT AWAY FROM HIM,
BUT HE CREATED IAND I WANT EVERYONE
TO KNOW THAT.
AND BARNEY,
YOU'LL GIVE
THE EULOGY AT THE...
HE'D LIKE THAT.
GONE?
NO, HE'S NOT GONE.
HE'S BETTER.
[sighs]
HE WANTS TO KNOW
EVERY DETAIL OF THE TREATMENT.
HE'S DRIVING THEM ALL
CRAZY IN THERE.
BETTER?
IT'S INCREDIBLE!
THAT FIGHTHAT KEEPS HIM ALIVE.
INCREDIBLE!
[medical instruments beeping]
[whispering]
IT'S O.K., GO ON. GO ON.
YOU KEEP FIGHTING.
YOU'RE GONNA MAKE IT.
I'VE ALREADY MADE IT.
HERE'S A DIRECT NUMBER
YOU CALL ANYTIME.
AND GO HOME NOW.
I WILL.
I JUST WANT TO SAY GOODBYE
TO MRS. BAILEY.
SHE LEFT.
HER HUSBAND...
(man on T.V.)
AND I REMEMBER
A COUPLE MORE DOCTORS CAME IN
WHILE WE WERE WORKING ON HIM
AND ONE OF THEM SAID, UH:
"YOU'RE ALL CRAZY HERE,
THERE'S NO CHANCE,
WHY DON'T YOU QUIT?"
AND THEN, INSIDE OF
HALF AN HOUR THINGS STARTED
TURNING AROUND, YOU KNOW?
I GOTTA SAY, I WAS AMAZED.
[phone ringing]
HE COULD'VE SWITCHED AGAIN
AT ANY MOMENT, BUT...
HELLO?
MRS. LEAR?
IT'S BONNIE AT C.C.U.
DR. LEAR
SAYS TO BRING ORANGES.
I WILL.
TELL HIM I WILL, I WILL!
[laughing]
THANK YOU!
(Estelle)
WE LIKED PARIS THE BEST.
(man)
YEAH, WE'RE GOING AGAIN
NEXT MONTH.
AND I WAS FIGURING
ON HITTING A FEW OF THOSE
3-STAR RESTAURANTS
AND THEN SHE TURNS AROUND
AND BLOWS $350.00
ON A SUEDE BELT.
COME OFF IT.
IF YOU WEREN'T SO CHINTZY,
WE WOULDN'T BE DRINKING
THIS YUCKY WINE.
IT HAPPENS TO BE
A VERY GOOD CABERNET.
ANYWAY, WHAT DO YOU KNOW
ABOUT WINES?
AS MUCH AS YOU KNOW
ABOUT SUEDE BELTS.
YOU KNOW ZIP, SWEETIE.
DROP DEAD, SWEETIE.
EXCUSE ME FOR JUST A MINUTE.
HOW ABOUT IT?
ANYBODY WANT MORE
OF THIS YUCKY WINE
TO GO ALONG
WITH THE BURNT CHICKEN?
ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
I JUST CAN'T STAND
WATCHING YOU TWO
DO THAT TO EACH OTHER.
WHY GET MAD AT ME?
I'M MAD AT BOTH OF YOU.
DON'T YOU REALIZE
HOW LUCKY YOU ARE?
WITH THAT CREEP,
ALWAYS PUTTING ME DOWN?
BUT DROP DEAD?
WHAT IF HE DID?
YOU CAN TALK.
HAL'S DIFFERENT.
I'M SORRY, ESTELLE.
I JUST-- I HAVE TO GO.
[car honking]
WHY AREN'T YOU SLEEPING?
MARTHA,
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
I JUST STOPPED BY.
GO TO SLEEP.
NO, COME IN.
COME HERE.
GIMME A KISS.
LIE DOWN.
JUST FOR A MINUTE.
MAKE A CUP.
TALK TO ME.
ABOUT WHAT?
ABOUT MY DYING.
ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS.
YOUR FEARS.
YOU WANT ME TO?
YES.
DON'T HOARD THEM ANYMORE.
[sighs]
I AM SCARED.
I'M...
I DON'T KNOW HOW
TO GO ON WITHOUT YOU.
WHAT WOULD YOU DO
IF I DIED?
IF YOU DIED?
I'D HAVE MY TIME
OF MOURNING.
IT WOULD BE HARD, BUT...
I THINK WHAT WOULD HELP
WOULD BE
TO STAY INVOLVED WITH PEOPLE,
TO WORK,
TO DO THE THINGS I ENJOY.
SAIL, MAKE PLANTERS
FOR THE TERRACE.
YOU'D STAY
IN OUR APARTMENT?
WHERE WE WERE TOGETHER?
YES.
I WOULDN'T RUN AWAY
FROM THE MEMORIES OF YOU.
I'D WANFAMILIAR THINGS AROUND.
THERE'S A PICTURE
MARTHA HUNG.
THERE'S THE DESK
SHE WORKED AT.
THIS IS THE STREEWHERE WE WALKED.
[sighs]
IT WOULD BE THE DEATH
OF A PART OF ME.
BUT,
LISTEN, MUSHY.
THERE WOULD
NEVER BE A QUESTION
ABOUT MY NOT SURVIVING.
[sniffling]
NOW, SLEEP.
I GOTTA GO TONIGHT.
BUT IT'S WONDERFUL.
HE'S INSISTING.
FIRST YOU'VE ALL GOTTA HAVE
THE HOT AND SOUR SOUP.
YEAH, AND THEN
THE LAY TONG SHRIMP.
HE ORDERED
THE WHOLE BLOODY
DINNER FOR US!
AND, HE KEEPS WANTING
TO KNOW WHEN WE CAN GO
BACK UP TO THE LAKE.
MOE SAYS IT'S
A REMARKABLE RECOVERY.
OF COURSE, TENUOUS.
ARE WE TALKING
ABOUT WEEKS?
IF NOT MONTHS.
NOT NECESSARILY.
THERE IS ONE HOPE.
YOU MEAN A TRANSPLANT.
(Barney)
WHAT DOES MOE THINK?
I DON'T KNOW,
HE HASN'T CALLED ME
SINCE THAT NIGHT.
WELL HE KNOWS YOU FEEL
IT WASN'T HANDLED WELL.
THERE'S A MASTERPIECE
OF UNDERSTATEMENT.
BUT THAT'S
BESIDE THE POINT.
IF WE'RE SERIOUS
I THINK WE HAVE TO ASK MOE
TO EXPLORE THE POSSIBILITY
WITH THIS MAN CHUMWAY
AT STANFORD.
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
WELL, IT'S A BIG STEP.
I DON'T REALLY KNOW
ENOUGH ABOUT IT.
THE PAST COUPLE YEARS
HAVE BEEN TOUGH.
THEY'VE ALSO BEEN
SOME OF THE BEST TIMES
WE'VE ALL HAD TOGETHER.
IF HE DIED TOMORROW,
I'D FEEL I UNDERSTAND HIM
MORE THAN I EVER DID.
AND THAT WOULD BE
ENOUGH FOR YOU?
NO.
I DON'T WANTO DO NOTHING
AND JUST LET HIM GO.
THEN I THINK
WE HAVE TO TALK TO MOE.
(Moe)
I'M DISCHARGING HIM ON MONDAY.
WONDERFUL.
IT'S OUR
15TH WEDDING ANNIVERSARY.
OH, CONGRATULATIONS!
I WANT HIM TO HAVE
PRIVATE NURSES,
THE FIRST WEEK AT LEAST.
I'LL CALL
THE REGISTRY TOMORROW.
UH, MOE?
I KNOW MICHAEL SPOKE TO YOU
ABOUT THE POSSIBILITY
OF A TRANSPLANT.
AFTER HAL IS HOME AND SETTLED,
CAN I COME IN
AND TALK TO YOU ABOUT IT?
YEAH, OF COURSE.
THANK YOU.
(Harold)
DO YOU KNOW MY BLOOD PRESSURE?
YES, IT'S STABLE
AROUND 80 OVER 60.
DO YOU KNOW
IF I'M ALLERGIC
TO ANY MEDICATION?
HYDRALAZINE.
DO YOU KNOW MY OCCUPATION?
I KNOW YOU'RE A DOCTOR.
WHAT?
HE INTERVIEWS THEM
AS IF IT WAS
A CABINET APPOINTMENT.
THAT'S BECAUSE THE ONE
HE TRIED YESTERDAY SAID:
"OH, I SEE YOU'VE DONE
YOUR PEE-PEE."
I THOUGHT HE WOULD EXPLODE.
YOU'LL DO.
OH, HAL,
THEY'RE BEAUTIFUL.
I WASN'T SURE
YOU'D REMEMBER.
MICHAEL AND I
REMEMBERED.
"TO MY MUSHY:
"AND THE NEXT 15.
WITH MY LOVE."
(Moe)
MARTHA, YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL.
YES, BUT DESPITE THAT.
WE'RE HOPING YOU'LL USE
YOUR PERSONAL INFLUENCE
WITH CHUMWAY
AND IF HAL'S AGE IS
THE ONLY DETERRENT, MOE--
IT ISN'T, IT ISN'T.
THE FACT IS,
THE OPERATION
IS SO TRAUMATIC
THEY'LL ONLY CONSIDER
PATIENTS WITH ABSOLUTE
MENTAL INTEGRITY.
AND SINCE HIS SURGERY,
WELL, AS YOU KNOW,
HAL HAS NOT HAD THAT.
HIS PHYSICAL STATE
IS PRECARIOUS,
TO SAY THE LEAST.
NOW WE DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH
FURTHER TISSUE DAMAGE
THERE'S BEEN.
AND WHAT CAUSED
THIS LAST ATTACK.
WE DON'T?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT?
I MEAN, WHAT ABOUTHE STRESS?
OF 8 HOURS
OF LOW BLOOD PRESSURE
AND FAILURE?
LOOK, LET'S NOT EXAGGERATE.
I'VE BEEN OVER THE CHARTS
OF THAT NIGHT AND THE SIGNS
WEREN'T THAT BAD!
I DON'T GIVE A DAMN
WHAT THOSE CHARTS SAY, MOE.
I WAS THERE, ALL NIGHT,
AND I KEPT MY OWN NOTES.
YES, I KNOW,
I AM AN ANNOYANCE TO YOU.
POKING AND PRODDING,
WHEN I SHOULD BE
LISTENING RESPECTFULLY
AND NODDING MY HEAD.
THAT'S NONSENSE!
I NEVER EXPECTED YOU
TO DO THAT.
BUT YOU'RE AN AMATEUR,
PLAYING DOCTOR,
GRASPING AT STRAWS.
LOOK AT THESE
TRANSPLANT STUDIES.
I MEAN,
IT'S EXPERIMENTAL WORK.
THE MORTALITY RATES
ARE DISMAL.
LOOK, YOU ARE ASKING ME
TO ARGUE VIGOROUSLY
FOR A PROCEDURE
WHICH I CANNOT RECOMMEND
NOT EVEN FOR YOUR WIFE?
NOT FOR MY WIFE,
NOT FOR MY CHILDREN,
NOT FOR ANYONE
I CARE ABOUT.
WOULD YOU AT LEASPRESENT THE CASE WITHOUT BIAS?
IF YOU INSIST.
(Martha)
POOR MOE.
WE BOTH KNEW THE DOCTORS
COULDN'T DO THE IMPOSSIBLE.
THEY COULDN'T MAKE HIM WELL.
IN THE END,
THERE WAS NO TRANSPLANT.
MAYBE BECAUSE I KNEW
I COULD NEVER UPROOT HIM
TO SIT IN A STRANGE PLACE
AND WAIT FOR A HEARHE MIGHT NEVER GET.
MAYBE IT WAS
A FAILURE OF MY WILL.
BUT I PUT MY MONEY ON HIS.
INSTEAD, WE WENT TO THE LAKE
THAT SUMMER.
AND HE SAT ON THE PIER
AND WATCHED OTHER PEOPLE
SAIL HIS SUNFISH.
BACK IN NEW YORK,
HE SPENT EVERY DAY
AT HIS DESK.
PAYING BILLS,
CLIPPING
FROM MEDICAL JOURNALS,
SCRIBBLING "VERY GOOD"
AND "SAVE THIS"
IN THE MARGINS.
HE REORDERED
HIS PERSONAL STATIONERY,
1,000 SHEETS,
AND USED DOZENS OF THEM
ON LETTERS
TO THE EDITORIAL PAGES
OF THE TIMES,
TO CON ED, TO SHELL OIL.
ON A WEDNESDAY AFTERNOON,
MORE THAN 2 YEARS LATER,
HAL CAME INTO MY STUDY.
I DON'T KNOW WHY
YOU HAD TO WAKE ME
UNLESS MY MOTHER WAS CALLING.
I DIDN'T WAKE YOU.
HAL, YOUR MOTHER'S BEEN DEAD
FOR 15 YEARS.
[crying]
WHAT?
[Harold sobbing]
HERE WE GO, MUSHY.
NO.
NO. NO.
[doorbell buzzing]
THANK YOU FOR GETTING HERE
SO FAST.
PLEASE, JUST WAIT HERE
AND I'LL GET HIM.
(Martha)
HE NEEDED HIS SOCKS.
HE NEEDED HIS RAZOR,
HIS TOOTHBRUSH,
HIS EYEGLASSES, HIS PEN,
HIS NOTEBOOK.
THEY'RE HERE.
DON'T RUSH ME. MY PANTS.
YOU DON'T NEED PANTS,
YOU HAVE YOUR ROBE ON.
I WANT TO WEAR PANTS.
MY LIGHTWEIGHT JEANS.
WANT A STRETCHER, SIR?
NO.
YOU WANT TO GO
BY AMBULANCE, SIR?
NO.
WHAT TIME IS IT?
2:35.
WRITE DOWN "2:35."
"CHILLS SUBSIDED.
"WEAKNESS.
IRREGULAR PULSE."
[man chattering
on police radio]
(nurse)
WE GOT TO GET THROUGH
TO THE ROOM.
LET'S GET HIS ROBE OFF.
O.K., JUST HELP ME
WITH THIS, SIR.
THAT'S IT.
UP YOU GO.
THAT'S IT. O.K.
LIE BACK. BACK YOU GO.
LET'S GETHE INTRAVENOUS IN HIM.
GET SOME OXYGEN, PLEASE.
YOU WANT THE
ANESTHETICS DONE?
YES, PLEASE.
YOU GOT THE MORPHINE?
[medical instrument beeping]
O.K., WE GOT THE LINE.
O.K., MORPHINE'S IN.
TAKE IT EASY, MUSHY.
CHARLOTTE,
COULD YOU GET THE LASIX?
(Charlotte)
COMING.
WHERE'S MY NOTEBOOK?
IT'S HERE.
(Charlotte)
LASIX.
WHAT TIME IS IT?
[doctors chattering]
3:10.
(doctor)
WHAT'S HIS RHYTHM?
(nurse) HANG ON.
HERE.
(doctor)
LET'S GET AN ANESTHETISDOWN HERE
PLEASE WRITE...
[E.K.G. flatlining]
(doctor)
DR. LEAR, CAN YOU HEAR ME?
[doctor chattering]
(nurse)
IS HE CONSCIOUS?
EXPENDITURE.
WE NEED SOME RESPONSE
DR. LEAR?
[voice fading]
DR. LEAR?
(Martha)
HAL DIED AT 9:30 A.M.
18 HOURS AFTER AN ARRESA HEART LIKE HIS
HAD NO BUSINESS SURVIVING
MORE THAN MINUTES.
"I'LL NEVER GIVE UP,"
HE TOLD ME LONG AGO.
AND THE SWEESON OF A BITCH NEVER DID.
PICKING UP
A BOOK MANUSCRIPT?
YES.
HOW DO YOU GO BACK?
BUS, SOMETIMES SUBWAY.
DO ME A FAVOR?
TAKE A CAB?
FIRST CLASS. RIGHT ON.
(Martha)
AM I EVER GOING TO
LET GO OF HIM?
(Harriet)
MRS. LEAR? IT'S HARRIET MUIR.
I SOLD YOU YOUR HOUSE
IN THE COUNTRY,
REMEMBER?
I'VE BEEN GOING PASYOUR HOUSE
ALMOST EVERYDAY
FOR MONTHS.
I NOTICE
YOU AREN'T USING IT.
(Martha)
NO, WE--
I HAVEN'T BEEN THERE.
WOULD YOU CONSIDER
SELLING IT?
I HAVE
AN INTERESTED BUYER.
I--I DON'T KNOW.
I--I HAVEN'THOUGHT ABOUT IT.
WELL, WHY DON'T YOU
MULL IT OVER?
YOU CAN LET ME KNOW.
(Martha)
HMM. SMELLS MUSTY.
(Harold)
SMELLS TERRIFIC.
(Harold)
WE MADE IT, KID.
(Martha)
HEY, CHARACTER.
WANT TO WAITILL WE GET THESE BAKED?
(Harold)
MARTHA!
[sniffling]
[sobbing]
[sobbing]
[sniffling]
(Martha)
"DRINK UP.
YOU'RE BEHIND A FEW."
BOB AND ANNIE.
CHET AND HELEN."
[birds chirping]
L'CHAIM.
[curtains sliding open]