Hell of the Screaming Undead (2023) Movie Script

1
Hello?
Can anybody hear me?
Hello?
Is anybody out there?
Hello?
Hey.
Good morning, sunshine.
I see that you overslept again.
It's my day off.
I think I deserve at
least one morning where
I can get some decent rest.
Well, if you weren't
out all night partying,
you wouldn't have to waste
half of the next day asleep.
So is there something
that you needed or are
you just trying to tell me
how to run my life again?
Oh, no, of course not, sweetie.
I just wanted to let
you know that I'll
be in your neck of
the woods this weekend
and I thought maybe
we could do lunch.
Yeah, that should be fine.
I have a job
interview on Saturday
but I'm not really
sure what time it is.
I'll have to double
check the time.
OK, well, how about you send me
a text later and let me know?
All right.
I'll talk to you then.
This is the ultimate test.
If this works, we'll be heroes.
I don't know.
I didn't earn my
degree to be playing
mad scientist in a scary
basement with a sketchy serum.
This might be our only
shot at a vaccine.
If this works, we
can replicate it.
We'll be able to stop the H73
virus from spreading in the US.
It's only a matter of days.
I hope you're right, Doctor.
What the fuck is
going on in there?
You keep watch.
I'll check it out.
Holy shit.
What the fuck is going on here?
We need to get the
hell out of Dodge.
Let's go.
All right.
Hi, girl.
Jesus, you scared
the shit out of me.
So what's the plan for tonight?
Well, I figured we'd
crash the museum.
Miles is working.
So we get the place all
to ourselves all night?
Fuck yes!
It's going to be
one hell of a night.
Hey, man.
You all right?
You don't sound so good.
Good.
We have a major
problem, Governor.
What?
What now?
There was an
accident at the lab.
Dr. Shaw, Dr. Mattei, they
were attacked by the patients.
So?
Get them to the hospital,
foot me the bill.
What's the problem?
Sir, they're dead.
What?
That's not the only problem.
Those two work release
lunatics you appointed
to guard the lab are
nowhere to be found
and neither is the H73 vaccine.
I appointed my ass.
Blame makes lame.
Now get the hell
out of my office.
Now.
Shut the damn door
on your way out.
Who hires these nimrods?
Oh, god.
What the hell happened
back there, man?
You all right?
I'll be fine.
It's just a scratch.
All right, well, what
are we doing now?
Where are we going?
We need to find somewhere
to hold up for the nights.
When those dudes in black show
up looking for the vaccine,
we're nowhere in sight.
They're gathering
inmates for sure,
and I ain't going back to jail.
What?
Did you say something?
I didn't hear anything.
Wait.
OK I know I heard something.
They're coming to
get you, Barbara.
Seriously, it's not funny.
Oh.
He does not look OK.
Wait, you're not going
out there, are you?
Just a second.
Oh, man.
This is a national emergency.
The Center for
Disease Control has
confirmed the
existence and spread
of a highly contagious disease.
This highly contagious
degenerative virus
is transmitted through blood,
saliva, and other bodily
fluids of the infected.
Yo.
You might tell us
what's going on?
Yeah, what gives?
We haven't finished
our drinks yet.
You two dummies not hear that
man on the radio just now?
You don't really believe
that shit, do you?
Shit or not, I'm
getting my shit and I'm
closing my doors
till tomorrow morning
and I ain't opening for nobody.
Aren't you going to see what is?
Hell no.
Now that don't sound right.
I think it's gone.
I'm going to take a peek.
You two wait right here.
That was so much fun.
We really appreciate you
letting us come in so late
and that you've got that
one strange display up.
It's no worries, and
it was a quiet night,
so I appreciate
you guys coming by,
and why don't you guys
have a good evening, OK?
We loved it.
Are you going to get the Clark
Gable display in any time soon?
Frankly, my dear, I
don't give a damn.
We had a lot of fun.
Good.
You know what, you guys
have a great evening, OK?
Oh, you too.
Thanks.
Thanks for everything.
You're very welcome.
Drive safe, OK?
You bet.
Lay off that hooch.
I'm telling you, you're
not that young anymore.
You can't be drinking that
Jagermeister and Red Bull.
It's time to get
this party started!
Watch out.
Woohoo!
Yes, girl!
Listen, girls, let's
not get too wild, OK?
Bring it down a notch.
Oh, come on, Debbie Downer.
Look-- hey, hey,
hey, listen to me.
Listen to me.
Waspish likes to
come into my shift
once in a while to check up, OK?
Hey, hey, besides, that
H70 virus is going around.
You hear me?
And, hey, I don't
want to hit nothing
your lips have been on lately.
Oh, that's fake news.
It's bullshit.
Zombies?
Really?
That's what I'm hearing.
Do not exist.
Bigshot.
Mister--
I see a couple of
nice ones in there.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeehaw!
Hey, put that down there.
I've got to pay for
that if you rip it.
You probably get a discount.
I get 10%.
10%.
If you want it,
I'll get it for you.
That's nothing.
It's something.
I don't want the book.
I just want to look at it.
It's not the full
retail price, OK?
Guys, don't touch it too much.
I'm not going to rip it.
Hey.
Oh, what the hell?
Somebody's here.
We closed 20 minutes ago.
Oh, come on.
Hey, I'll get rid of them.
Yeah.
Just gimme a second.
Yeah, we weren't hurrying you.
Put that book down.
Put it down.
Unless you're buying
it, put it down.
Come on.
I need to get rid of these guys.
Come on.
Hey, guys, we closed about
20 minutes ago, so-- oh, hey!
Are those guns?
We don't want any trouble, man.
What's going on?
Don't you be giving
us a hard time now.
Hey.
Leave her alone!
Don't hurt her!
Don't hurt her!
What are you doing?
Now, don't you be giving
us no trouble, you hear?
Or you're going to
have to answer to her.
You want to answer to her?
Please.
What are you going to do?
All right, be quiet.
Listen, shut up!
We don't want any
trouble, though!
Just let us go.
Let us go.
You're all going to
keep us company tonight.
Besides, you're safer
in here with me in
and Trapper than out there.
Be quiet.
Please.
You guys make so much noise.
We won't say
anything, I promise.
I say we just wait.
We're probably all
over the news by now.
Come dawn, we head
to my buddy's ranch.
It's secluded.
He left her for me to look
after when he went to Tijuana.
That sounds good.
So how do we get there?
I've got the map right here.
Please, just let us go.
Please.
Oh, shut up.
You wait here with him.
I'm going to check it out back.
All right.
I want you to drink
from my lucky juice box.
Sorry, what?
What did you say?
Trapper!
Yo, Trapper!
Trapper.
You were spacing off
again, weren't you?
I'm sorry.
What time is it?
9:27.
I'm going to go get us some food
from those machines back there.
It's going to be a long night.
You keep an eye on these
fuckers right here.
Got it?
Got it.
And if you see any more of
those flesh-eating fuckers,
shoot them in the head.
Got it?
Yeah.
You don't get to tell
me twice, brother.
Hey, do you think I
could use the restroom?
I can't let you go off alone.
You just heard him.
Look, I have to go really
bad, and if I don't go,
I'll probably have an
accident and you wouldn't want
to deal with that all night.
Please?
All right, fine.
You can go, but you go alone
and no fucking funny business.
I will, I promise.
Just be careful.
If you're going to go, go.
I'll get us out of this.
OK.
Be careful.
Yeah.
Hey.
You know that thing you wanted?
What thing?
Something you were
just talking about.
I don't know what
you're talking about.
You're creeping her out, man.
It's OK.
It's OK.
It's OK.
Oh my god, Mom, call the police.
Sweetheart, are you OK?
You never texted me and I--
Mom, thank god it's you.
I'm being held
hostage at the museum.
What did you say, honey?
You're breaking up on me.
I can't quite hear you.
Please call for help.
These guys are holding us
hostage and I think one of them
has the virus.
Is this some kind of a joke?
Because I don't think--
I don't think it's very funny.
Do you think I'm
fucking kidding, Mom?
What's going on?
Sweetie?
Honey?
Who was that?
What's going on?
It's OK.
Well, well, well.
Look at who I have here.
I gave you one fucking job.
Don't make me blow
out your brains
like I did that
last piece of shit.
I'm sorry, man.
It won't happen again.
Don't test me.
Yes, sir.
Yes, Mr. President,
I certainly will.
And thank you for
taking my call.
I appreciate it.
You too, sir.
I need a drink.
It's the only escape
for me around here.
You know what, why don't we
play a game with these bitches?
What did you have in mind?
How about Simon Says?
I know that's your
favorite for sure.
I want to go first.
No, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no!
Simon says pull up your dress.
What's going on here?
Hey.
What are you doing?
Shut the fuck up.
I wasn't talking
to you, prick face.
Simon says pull up
your fucking dress.
Come on.
Simon says, bitch.
No!
no!
Don't do it.
Please, just--
Don't make me shut
you up for good.
Hurry up.
Yeah, yeah.
There now.
That wasn't so hard, was it?
Sit down!
Don't hurt her!
Don't hurt her, please!
She likes to spit.
Now look what you made me do.
Got me all fucked up.
Leave her alone.
Take me.
I'll do whatever you want.
Mary, no!
I will!
I'll do it!
Mary, no!
That sounds like
that could be fun.
That could be fun.
That could be fun.
I'll take the blonde.
You take her.
No!
No!
Be quiet!
Be quiet.
I'll have some
fun with this one.
Mary!
Don't take too long.
You know I hate sloppy seconds.
Whatever you're
thinking of doing,
just don't do it, please!
Shut that bitch up.
All right.
Enough of that.
You know, I can give
some really mean head.
Want me to show you?
Is that even a question?
Well, whip it out, big man, and
show me what I'm working with.
Oh.
I know you can't take
it all, but try, baby.
I think he got bit by
one of those things.
What are we going to do?
Does your phone have service?
Right.
I left it in Mary's car.
It's charging.
I don't have it.
Fuck!
What about you?
Can't you, like, radio
for backup or something?
This isn't even real.
It's for show.
What?
I'm not a real cop.
Oh, god.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Jose, the delivery guy.
He comes 11 o'clock every
night, drops off and picks up
all the online orders.
He's going to be
here any minute.
Oh.
And you're sure that
he'll come, right?
He can save us, right?
He's our only hope.
OK.
Man, look at the way he's going.
The way he's slowly dying.
If he winds up like that, we're
going to wind up like that.
What the fuck happened?
The bitch bit my dick off!
What?
Don't let her get away, man!
Come out, come out wherever
you are, little bunny.
Where are you, Mary?
Mary?
Where are you?
Fuck.
Mary, where are you?
Yo, Miles.
Package for you.
Come on, man.
Taking the Browns
to the Super Bowl?
Yo!
It's the delivery guy.
Now's your chance.
Holy shit!
Look outside!
There's fucking zombies!
They just ate the
fucking delivery guy!
Look!
Holy shit.
Spreading like the plague.
Fuck!
Zombies are-- they're real!
There's too many of them.
It's not fake news?
Oh my god!
I want to go home!
Heather!
Heather, no!
Heather!
God, no!
Come on.
No!
We're never going to
make it out alive.
Speak for yourself.
Ain't no undead
fucker taking me out.
What, have you got a cure?
I've got the cure on me.
Some experimental shit.
We got it from the lab right
before we found you guys.
Yeah, let me see that.
Fucking gun.
Put your fucking hands up!
Oh, the big bad
security officer's
going to blow my
brains out, huh?
That's right.
I'll fucking do it.
Please, officer.
I'll do anything you want.
What do you want, huh?
Yeah, fucking put them up!
Do it!
Fucking--
No.
I took the bullets out,
you stupid piece of shit.
Oh, fuck!
Mary, Mary, Mary.
We are here on the occasion
of two brutal attacks
and a triple homicide at
the Valley Relics Museum.
I've got Sheriff Brackett
here to shed some light
on the situation.
Sheriff, can you tell
us what happened?
Well, they're all dead and
they're really messed up.
It's like a fucking
bloodbath in there.
Is it true that ex-convicts
Warren Jefferson and Trapper
Skinner were identified
as two of the bodies
that you found inside?
Correct, correct.
And we might have
never found any of them
if it wasn't for a tip from the
mother of one of the victims,
who we still have yet to find.
But right now our main concern
is finding that vaccine,
and we all know that Mr. Wagner
stole it from the laboratory
last night, but we didn't
find it on his person,
and it's of utmost importance
that we find that right now,
because as far as
we know, that's
the only one that there is.
A vaccine for the H37 virus.
Yes, yes, and we don't
know much about it,
and the doctor's
dead that made it,
so he can't help us,
so right now finding
that is our only hope.
Thank you, Sheriff.
I think everyone
watching at home
is hoping and praying that
you find that vaccine.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Back to you, Nelson.
Death, destruction, chaos.
The city's filled with scum.
Let them wipe it out.
I don't care.
It's time.
It's time for a new
world zombie order.
Hello!
Can anybody hear me?
Hello?
Is anybody out there?
Hello?