Hitpig! (2024) Movie Script
1
(playful music)
(upbeat music)
Get your motor runnin'
Head out on the highway
Lookin' for adventure
And whatever comes our way
- [Hitpig] When your
kitty's left the city.
When your moose is on the loose.
When your cow has said
ciao, you need me.
My friends call me-
Wait, I don't have friends.
I call me "Hitpig."
Born to be wild
- [Hitpig] You see,
I was raised by
the legendary pet bounty
hunter, Big Bertha,
and I was her super
cool sidekick.
You know, like Batman
and Robin, Ben and Jerry,
Aquaman and whoever the
heck Aquaman's sidekick was.
Fish? No. Doesn't matter.
We caught cats, hamsters,
snakes, all that for money.
You get the idea.
She taught me everything
I needed to know
about the bounty biz.
(Bertha blowing)
How to dress.
I mean, yeah,
she got this at an
American Girl store, but..
She trained me how to
be half Dr. Doolittle,
half James Bond,
half Mandalorian.
And yes, I know
that's three halves.
She wasn't great at math.
And she taught me
how to make an omelet
without breaking any
eggs, which is impossible.
So I guess it was a metaphor,
but it doesn't matter.
She was a good business woman.
- This business can
be very rewarding.
- [Hitpig] Then one day a
call came in, Tiny the Lizard,
a thousand bucks, which
seemed high for a lizard.
- It's just an easy
peasy, tiny lizard.
I'll be right back.
Here, Tiny, Tiny, Tiny.
- [Hitpig] Turns out
Tiny wasn't so tiny.
Tiny was a crocodile.
(dramatic music)
Just like that, Bertha was gone.
(light music)
Start wearing purple,
wearing purple
Start wearing
purple for me now
- All right, here we go!
Mr. Secretary wants
us to run a test.
Wakey, winky,
stinky tubes skunk.
Call HR! My coworkers
are trying to kill me!
- Gotcha! Right this way.
- Not this again, please!
- You know the drill.
Skedaddle down the tube
to the plutonium room.
Do not touch the glowy thing!
Then you come back and we
test your radiation levels.
Pieces of cake. Remember, do
not touch the glowy thing!
(polecat yelling)
(lid shutting)
(device beeping)
- Do not touch the glowy thing?
Honey, that's my
ticket outta here!
- Go left!
(worker imitating Pacman)
(laughs) I love that game.
- [Polecat] I knew I
shouldn't have traded shifts
with the hamster!
(metal clanging)
(polecat exclaiming)
- Bullseye!
Do not touch the glowy thing!
No, no, no, no, no, no, no!
(polecat yelling)
(lid opening)
(workers yelling)
- Hey, I feel all tingly
and now I'm glowing pink?
Ooh, new look. Who dis?
- Bad tube skunk!
- Uh, pole cat, not tube skunk!
Woo-hoo, freedom!
- Oh, hello. Oh, everything's
fine, Mr. Secretary.
How's the radiation level?
(bird exploding)
Oh, fine.
- What's up?
(bird exploding)
What's up? What's up?
(workers yelling)
(building exploding)
Oh! It's big!
- Freedom!
Woo-hoo, hello
world! Here I come.
I got a glowing bum,
full of plutonium!
What?
- [Hitpig] Party's
over, pole cat.
(polecat yelling)
(net shooting)
(polecat exclaiming)
- Hey! Hot truffles, not me!
You need therapy!
Where's your humanity, pig?
- Oink.
(polecat yelling)
(building exploding)
- Wow! Ex-squeeze me.
I'm not quite sure
what happened there.
- Whoa.
Some guys cut the
cheese, but you, brother,
you destroy the cheese.
You cut the cheese, then you
go find the cheese's family,
and then you cut them.
- Peter Parker gets
radiation poisoning
and shoots webs
out of his wrist.
Me, apparently I
shoot nukes out of my-
- Hey, be careful
with that thing.
- Look, your cousin Porky.
(Hitpig sighing)
(polecat exclaiming)
Adios, cocktail fake.
- Not so fast, Radiation Rump.
(goo exploding)
(groans) I had it
on selfie mode.
(gun shooting)
- That's nasty.
- Consider yourself.. hit.
Whoa. What was that?
That was terrible.
Lemme try that again.
Consider yourself hit.
Boom! Nailed it!
(dramatic music)
- [Announcer] The
newest show in Vegas,
featuring Pickles
the dancing elephant
will be out of this world,
so says the Leapin'
Lord of the Leotard.
He has staged some of the
worst animal acts ever.
He trained his three
ton elephant Pickles
to leap into his arms, breaking
every bone in his body.
After two years in the
hospital, he trained Pickles
to leap into the
arms of his poodle.
(elephant thudding)
A far worse idea.
The Leapin' Lord squandered
his family's reputation
and fortune, and they
have disowned him.
Undeterred, the
Leapin' Lord guarantees
no one will walk
out of this show.
We saw hope Pickles
will be okay.
- [Leapin' Lord] It's showtime!
Dancers, take positions!
- And now, Pickle the Elephant!
(hisses) That's
your cue, Poodles.
- Where's the
motivational coach?
(crocodile snapping)
(upbeat music)
(upbeat music continues)
Okay, enough with the dancing.
Cast your eyes to the heavens.
The one and only me!
People of the earth,
I present to you
the otherworldly
Leapin' Lord of the Leotard!
Drum roll.
(upbeat music)
Here we go!
Whoa.
(floor squeaking)
(dog wheezing)
(upbeat music)
(gentle music)
(body thudding)
- Oh, blast you, Pickles!
You have one job!
Why didn't you catch me?
Nevermind.
Wait until you see what
I have planned for us
opening night!
I will reach for the
stars and soar to heights
never before soared!
I'll fly. I'll glide.
I'll float and swoop
and flit and whoosh.
And give gravity what
it's given me, contempt.
- A billion dollar dynasty
flushed down a crapper
by the Leapin' Lord
of the Lunatics.
- Hey, six generations
of animal acts
are not ending with me!
Okay, rehearsals
over! Everyone out!
(lever lowering)
I'm a real wild
one, wild one
Wild one, wild one
(upbeat rock music)
Well, I'm just out of school
Like I'm real, real cool
Gotta dance like a fool
Got the message that
I gotta be a wild one
Oh yeah, I'm a wild one
Gonna break it loose
Gonna keep being a wild one
'Cause baby, I'm
a real wild child
(upbeat rock music)
(butter sizzling)
(upbeat rock music)
- [Artificial Voice] Escaped
pet alert. Escaped pet alert.
Hey, Gordon Hamsy. Shall I
keep saying escaped pet alert?
- Gordon Hamsy. I get it.
'Cause I'm a pig that cooks.
That's the best you got, huh?
- [Artificial
Voice] Chef Boar RD.
Sty Fieri. Wolfgang Pig.
- Hilarious.
Who says computers
can't be funny? Not me.
Oh wait, yeah. No, it is me.
I say computers can't be funny.
- [Artificial Voice]
Zoo surveillance
caught an animal rights
activist freeing the koala.
- Leticia. Our
paths cross again.
Catch van to the
land down under.
We'll check the
outback, the front back,
the inside out, and
the upside down.
Activate propulsion boosters.
- Activated.
(wheels spinning)
- Weapons systems online.
- [Artificial Voice]
Locked and loaded.
- And pump up the rock 'n roll.
(rock music)
(door slamming)
(dog whining)
(playful music)
(door slamming)
(Pickles gasping)
- Greatness is so close
I can smell it, Pickles.
The eyes of too many
lords and ladies
are looking down on me!
They said I didn't fit in.
That I was an untalented,
tubby failure.
That I'll never
leap into anything
but an all you can
eat buffet table.
And while I do love a
complimentary Vegas buffet,
I mean, who doesn't?
I'll show them what
I'm capable of!
Mummy and Daddy
dazzled audiences,
riding lions through
hoops of fire.
Grandmama was blasted
from a howitzer cannon
over a swimming pool
filled with hungry sharks.
My dearest uncle was
a bullfighter. And
not with a red cape.
He fought them with his fists.
You see, to have the next
great animal act is my destiny!
(Leapin' Lord humming)
(Pickles gasping)
Ugh, elephant snot.
(crocodile laughing)
I lock you up because
I love you so much.
I mean, I don't know what I'd do
if anything ever happened
to you, Pickley-poo.
Who would catch me then?
(crocodile growling)
Oh, get real, Alligator Arms.
I know you're a crocodile.
It's just a figure of speech.
Now eat your lunch.
Open it yourself. (laughs)
(dogs whining)
I gave her your dog food.
You buggies missed
your cue on stage,
and I know you're laughing
at me behind my back.
I just can't prove it
yet. No food for you!
(crocodile growling)
(door shutting)
(dogs whining)
- Hey, don't worry, guys.
I'm gonna get us out of here.
You'll be free soon and I..
I can find my family.
(door opening)
- Door ajar.
(door shutting)
Door ajar.
(door slamming)
Door closed.
Hooray. You did it.
- Don't you have a stealth
mode or a shut up mode
or something?
Croc? Ugh.
No guns, no nuns, no lil' ones.
(nun screaming)
- Any other nuns here?
- Hey, keep an eye on
that, would you, Sister?
All right, koala. Where are you?
(device scanning)
Here, koala, koala, koala.
(device beeping)
Bingo, Dingo.
- Thought I smelled bacon.
- Let's go, koala.
- Not going back there, Hitpig.
- You escaped.
- I had to escape!
Do you know who comes
to petting zoos?
- Kids?
- Yeah, kids.
Filthy, slimy,
sticky, smelly kids.
They wipe their snotty noses,
then pet me with
those same tiny hands.
They're disgusting!
- Ah, you got a
little something stuck
to the back of your head.
(koala yelling)
Whoa.
That's gonna leave a bald spot.
- For the love of goon bag.
- Cute little Sheila.
- If you pet the fur,
I'll drop kick you to-
Whoop whoop!
(nose honking)
(body thudding)
(person yelling)
- Oh, boy.
(glass shattering)
(crowd yelling)
- I never asked for this
adorable face, Hitpig!
I don't wanna be
cute. I'm not cute.
- Hey!
(koala gasping)
- Don't take me back!
- Hey, I got a job to do.
- Get another job.
- Look, this is the only
job I know how to do.
- Animals are meant to be free.
- Get a taste of my
world famous pork chop.
Hiya! Ow!
Your, uh, shoe's untied.
(nose honking)
(foot stomping)
(koala exclaiming)
(koala yelling)
(Hitpig exclaiming)
(body thudding)
- That's right.
Go way, way, way,
all the way home.
(metal creaking)
Ah, son of a beach nut.
- Thank you, Sister.
You are one bad habit.
I know. Forgive me.
- Thanks, mate. $10,000 in dues.
- I hope someone turns you into
a ham steak one day, Hitpig.
Put a little ring
of pineapple on you
and stab you with a fork!
- Thanks, mate.
(dog food plopping)
(somber music)
- This is no life for you all.
I wish I could free you.
(Pickles gasping)
(somber music)
"Famous Panda walks off
popular kung fu set,
says eight films is enough."
Oh man, I liked those films.
"Animal Rights activist,
Leticia Dos Anjos
frees tigers for
Las Vegas show."
Oh man, I liked that show too.
I don't get it.
Wait a minute.
You want me to call
that critter liver,
Leticia, to free you.
Brilliant!
By golly, I've never done
anything important in my life.
That changes today!
- We're almost free.
I can feel it.
- (laughs) Hey,
you're looking good.
A super cock-doodle-doo!
(body thudding)
(rooster groaning)
Super Rooster!
- Super cock-doodle-doo!
Oh, man.
Now that is a catchphrase.
Ah, you know what? Maybe I
could try something like that.
You know, like a super
oinkety-boinkety-boink!
Ah, who asked you, Henry?
- Welcome to "King
Chef For A Day,"
the show where our
contestants have five minutes
to make a delicious meal from
the ingredients we provide.
- Yeah, boy! Oh, another
great catch phrase.
(sighs) You know,
I could win that.
- [Artificial Voice]
When pigs fly.
- Oh, come on. A pig
can dream, can't he?
- [Artificial Voice]
Incoming call. Incoming call.
- Oh, will you leave
me alone, Morticia?
- It's Leticia.
And are you proud of yourself
for messing up all those
poor animals' lives?
Locking them away like
they were criminals?
- Yeah, 'cause they escaped!
- They should never have
been captured at all.
- Hey, it's just business.
You set 'em free,
I bring 'em home.
- You're such a pig. And
that's all the time I needed.
- Needed for what?
- Gain access to your
bank account and take
three, two, one, all
your money, sucker.
- What?
No, no! No, no, no, no, no, no!
- [Leticia] Thank you
for your donation.
- No, no, no, no, no, no, no!
- It's dirty money and it
needs to be used for good.
- I'm good, I'm super
good. I'm so good.
- I'm off to free an elephant.
Thanks for the money.
Ciao.
- (yells) Come on!
(door opening)
Hey.
Did someone call for a rescue?
(Pickles gasping)
Not sure I can
locate your family,
but I can get you home to India.
- Anywhere is better than here.
- Don't worry, poodles. I'll
be back for you guys soon.
(engine revving)
- [Pickles] Woo-hoo, I'm
free! I'm going home!
(door opening)
- Suppertime!
(Leapin' Lord humming)
(dogs yelping)
But not for you.
(door shutting)
(Leapin' Lord humming)
What the elephant?
Someone pilfered Pickles!
Who steals elephants?
I mean, besides me.
(phone ringing)
- Hitpig. Lost your dog?
You called the right hog.
How can I help you?
- Aha, bounty hunter.
I hear you're the best.
At least that's what
it says in your ad.
- Who are you?
- Oh, I don't know.
Maybe I'm only the Leapin'
Lord of the Leotard!
- And I'm Baron of
the Boxer Shorts.
What'd you lose?
- My dance partner!
Somebody stole her!
- Wrong number, pal.
Sounds like you
need a dating app.
- [Leapin' Lord]
She's an elephant.
- Leticia.
- No, Pickles.
I'm launching my show
in Vegas this weekend.
A guaranteed blast.
I'll be leaping, I'm the
Leapin' Lord after all,
but you knew that.
Pickles is the only
one who can catch me.
I have to be caught!
So catch her!
(Leapin' Lord yelling)
(body crashing)
- Hey, don't worry,
I'll catch her,
but you know, I
charge by the pound,
so I'm gonna need you to make
me an offer I can't refuse.
- One million bucks.
- Whoa, that's about
a hundred times
more than I was
thinking, so yes.
- So we have a deal, Hitpig.
Bring her back to me.
- Woo! Looks like this little
piggy is back in business.
- Who's got egg
on their face now?
(people laughing)
Cock-a-doodley-doo!
(rooster yelling)
(Leticia laughing)
- Super Rooster!
(people laughing)
(rooster yelling)
That's something you
don't see every day.
(Leticia laughing)
- [Flight Attendant] We'll be
landing in London momentarily,
on our way to India.
Unfortunately, we have to stop
our in-flight entertainment.
(people groaning)
I know, I love
"Super Rooster" too.
- [Artificial Voice]
Downloading all
train, plane, and
truck manifests.
- All right, where
are you big girl?
- [Artificial Voice] Cargo,
one dog, 62 cats. Poor dog.
- No, no, no.
Okay, train.
- [Artificial Voice]
A baboon, two rabbits.
Check that, two rabbits
now with 27 bunnies.
- No. Vegas to India,
layover in London.
- [Artificial Voice]
Cargo four dogs,
two cats, and one elephant.
- Ah, there you are!
My paciderm payday.
(upbeat music)
- [Artificial Voice]
Target acquired.
Off to jolly old England.
(engine revving)
(light music)
- Ooh, some sort of elephant
party going on there.
Be right back! I'm
gonna scope this out.
After party with my peeps.
Wow, wide load coming
through. (laughs)
I'll be there in a minute.
(vehicle crashing)
(tires screeching)
(cats yelping)
Sorry about that.
- We're so fired.
(light music)
(horns honking)
- Excuse me.
Excuse me!
Nice.
Ooh, that's nice.
Loving the new elephant
fashions, so exciting!
Pickles, you deserve a new look.
(Pickles gasping)
- [Artificial Voice]
Elephant pheromones detected.
Warning, warning.
No parking zone.
- [Hitpig] Have I
ever gotten you towed?
- Wow.
(chair collapsing)
I'm gonna blame that
on poor craftsmanship.
(suspenseful music)
- Aha, Pickle prints.
- [Pickles] Free?
(suspenseful music)
- Memory is yours. (indistinct)
Your better recollection
is pure perfection,
'cause an elephant never,
'cause an elephant never..
Line!
- Forgets!
- Oh, yeah.
(Hitpig groaning)
- Pickles, you
devilish smoke show.
- Like shooting
fish in a barrel.
Really fat fish.
(device scanning)
- As queen of the elephants,
it is I who wears the pants.
So as your queen, I
command you all to dance!
(trumpets blowing)
- No, wait!
- Did someone say dance?
(Hitpig groaning)
(body thudding)
- Stop that elephant!
Hey, hey, Pickles!
I know you can't control
yourself any longer
(Latin music)
(Pickles gasping)
- This is exactly what
I was not expecting,
but I've always wanted to
dance with other elephants!
Come on, shake your
body, baby do that funk
I know you can't control
yourself any longer
Feel the rhythm of the
music getting stronger
- Consider yourself hit.
(dancer yelling)
Ah, dang it.
(Latin music)
- Come here, you weird
looking elephant.
I just wanna hug
you and never stop.
(Pickles screaming)
(pillars collapsing)
(crew shouting)
(water spurting)
Oh, going up.
(giggles) That tickles.
(Hitpig yelling)
- No, no, no, no! (yells)
(dancers yelling)
(bodies thudding)
- Yes!
(Pickles gasping)
(body thudding)
(hologram tinkling)
(Pickles gasping)
(feet thudding)
(Pickles gasping)
- Wow. There's so much.
There's so much world, and
my family is out there.
(Hitpig grunting)
- Well, well, well.
- No more cages for me.
Ever!
(arrows firing)
Are you..
Are you.. (sniffs)
(hat snapping)
- Ouch!
- Are you a little elephant?
- Elephant? No, I'm a pig.
A pig-my elephant.
Yeah, no, you're right. Yeah,
no, a pigmy elephant, yes.
Hey, we're twinsies. (laughs)
I feel like I'm
looking in a mirror.
- Whoa. We're a perfect fit.
- I know, it's like we're
made for each other. (laughs)
- [Pickles] What
happened to your nose?
- Well, you know, I was
at the back of the line
when they were
passing out trunks.
I'm a little sensitive about it.
- Ugh, you're right.
That was rude.
Let's start over. (imitates
rewinding) I'm Pickles.
- I'm Hitpig. Which is short
for Hit Pigmy Elephant.
I've been looking
for you everywhere.
You know, you
missed your flight!
- Oh, are you
friends with Leticia?
- Leticia? (laughs) I mean, yes.
Yes, Leticia and I are
great friends, actually.
Yeah, no, she had to
go do a, you know,
rescue a porpoise or
something, I don't know.
She asked me to help, so.
(Pickles gasping)
- Leticia was
taking me to India.
- India? (grunting)
- Hey, we're sliding, Hitpig.
- No kidding! Give
me my catch gun.
- I love slides.
(body thudding)
- Hold on.
(gun shooting)
(Pickles squealing)
- They towed my
van! Ah, come on!
(Hitpig yelling)
(horn honking)
Think I just cracked
a baby back rib.
- Whoa.
That was fun. Let's do it again.
- And now my gun is broken?
What else could go wrong? Oh!
(light music)
(light music continues)
How do you sneak onto a
plane with an elephant?
(light music)
- Why are we dressed like this?
- Subterfuge.
- Oh. I don't know French.
- What do you mean check
the last and found?
It's a two ton elephant.
- All right, try not to
call attention to yourself.
(tail whipping)
(person exclaiming)
- Excuse me!
- Emotional support,
you know, dog.
(Pickles panting)
I am a work in progress.
It's a very fancy
hairdryer. It's from Europe.
- Of course it is, ma'am.
- Lip balm.
(officer yelling)
(person yelling)
(keys clicking)
(phone ringing)
- Leapin' Lord here.
- Hey, your package is shipping
overnight air to Las Vegas.
- Goodie.
This show is going to rocket
me to stardom, Hitpig.
Her understudy,
well, let's just say
it's a little like
putting lipstick on a pig.
So don't let me down.
(Pickles squealing)
(Pickles crashing)
- Sorry, cutie.
(people snoring)
- [Person] Help! Save
me, Super Rooster!
- Look up in the sky!
(bird pooping)
It's Super rooster.
- Super cock-a-doodley-doo!
- Ah, how this guy never
won an Oscar is beyond me.
You know, politics.
- Hey, would you mind
letting me scooch by?
I've gotta tinkle.
Excuse me.
(Hitpig groaning)
Pardon me.
By the way, could you
ask the stewardess
for a couple dozen more
bags of those peanuts?
They roasted them in
honey! I mean, what?
Yikes.
That little toilet is not
designed for what I have to do,
but girls gotta do
what a girl's gotta do.
(toilet flushing)
(dart shooting)
- Ow!
Right in the ham hocks.
Tranquilizer dart? Leticia.
- That dress really brings
out the rump in your roast.
- Hey, who does your
makeup? Cirque du Soleil?
(darts shooting)
(Hitpig grunting)
(playful music)
(Leticia grunting)
(Hitpig chortling)
(Leticia grunting)
(dart shooting)
(Hitpig slurring)
(Leticia laughing)
(darts shooting)
(Leticia exclaiming)
(darts shooting)
- Listen, Hitpig.
I should be taken seriously.
- For what?
- Stealing back stolen
mooses and hippopotamuses.
- And rhinoceros.
- Plus elephants!
- Elephant? Never!
- Oh.
Okay, so here's the
big girl bathroom.
- No!
(air whipping)
(people shouting)
- Okay, okay.
This is not what I thought
would be behind that door.
(Hitpig yelling)
Grab my tail!
(people shouting)
- Pickles! I'll pull you in!
(people shouting)
Her tights are coming off!
You've gotta let the pig go!
- Why would I let
your friend go?
- He's not my friend!
- I can be!
(tights snapping)
- No!
(both yelling)
- [Pickles] Eat your
heart out, Dumbo!
- No, he can actually fly!
We're toast. We're toast.
- You'll think of something.
- You're right.
I'm thinking you're about to
see how the sausages are made.
(thunder crashing)
Ow, ow, ow. Ow!
- Hey, I knew you'd
think of something.
(tights ballooning)
It's called flying by the
seat of your pants. (laughs)
(Leticia sighing)
- [Pilot] Ladies and gentlemen,
please excuse the
flight turbulence.
- Jackpot.
(passengers chattering)
- Ugh.
(light music)
(Pickles giggling)
- Oh, well, that
worked out nicely.
(metal creaking)
Yay! There's more.
(both yelling)
(metal clanging)
(Hitpig grunting)
- Ow.
(metal clanging)
Now I know what Spam feels like.
So really, that emergency
exit looked like a toilet?
We could have been killed!
- To be fair, it
was an emergency.
- How were you so sure that
I would think of something?
- Because I trust you.
- Yeah, all right,
well, you shouldn't.
- But we're friends now.
- What? No, I
don't have friends.
Not since Bertha.
- Who's Bertha?
- Doesn't matter.
We're hosed, okay?
I'm way off course.
- To India?
- Yeah, to bringing
you home, yeah.
But we need wheels.
All I see is junk.
- You have to free your mind!
It's all caged up. And
trust me, I know cages.
Hey, what about this?
(metal clanging)
Catch!
- Will you stop
throwing junk at me?
(Hitpig whimpering)
(metal clanging)
(blowtorch flaming)
(possum squeaking)
- Hi, little friend.
(possum yelping)
(sign thudding)
Oh!
(possum squeaking)
(Pickles giggling)
(both smooching)
Oh, I'm so sorry.
(Pickles laughing)
(blowtorch flaming)
(possum yawning)
Hey!
(rock music)
(Pickles laughing)
You're a real tough
cookie with a long history
For breaking little
hearts like the one in me
That's okay, let's
see how you do it
Put up your dukes,
let's get down to it
Hit me with your best shot
Come on, hit me
with your best shot
Hit me with your best shot
Why don't you hit me
with your best shot
Hit me with your best shot
Fire away
(possum squeaking)
- Bye, little friend!
- Catch you later, Fuzzball.
All right, sit
down and buckle up.
We got a long way to go.
- Oh!
(engine revving)
- Do you know any show tunes?
- Do I look like
I know show tunes?
Clang, clang, clang
went the trolley
Ding, ding
(Pickles sneezing)
Whoopsie. Oh, a button.
(Hitpig yelling)
See you later.
Oh, you're back!
(water squirting)
Oopsie.
(lever slapping)
Sorry about that.
Look, another button. Woo!
So many buttons and levers.
So fun!
(engine revving)
Isn't today like
a dream come true?
- Look, I don't have
time for silly questions.
- Come on. You
must have a dream.
- Fine, sure. To have
a million dollars.
- And what would you do with it?
- I don't know. Retire.
- And then?
- I don't know. I'd cook.
- Okay. You dream
of being a chef.
- (chuckles) Me, a chef?
It's pretty dumb, right?
- No!
- No? (chuckles)
- (gasps) Look, an elephant!
- Pickles, stop!
(Hitpig yelling)
(metal scraping)
There are no words for
how I feel right now.
(toilet flushing)
- Just trying to
get a closer look!
- [Hitpig] Pickles!
Get back in the UFO!
- Coming down.
Whoa!
An octopus and a chicken!
There are no words for
how I feel right now.
- Pickles! Do not
push or pull anything!
- Push and pull
everything, you said? Okay.
- No! I'll get ya!
Now baby I'm sure
- I can't believe they had
a pigmy elephant balloon.
- [Hitpig] Stay there!
I just can't
wait 'til the day
- Croc!
(Hitpig yelling)
(Hitpig grunting)
- Ooh, that's fun. I wanna try!
(Pickles exclaiming)
(Hitpig yelling)
Okay, okay. I'm
gonna get you! Whee!
(Hitpig yelling)
Whee!
(Hitpig yelling)
Just the most fun ever!
I'm walking on sunshine
(Pickles squealing)
- No! No, no, no, no, no!
- Gotcha!
- Ow.
- I like your style.
You know, you don't show it,
but you know how to have fun.
(gentle music)
- This is a disaster.
- If this is a disaster,
disasters are wonderful!
(Hitpig groaning)
What's wrong?
- Nothing.
Everything.
- Anything to do with Leticia
saying she's not your friend?
- Yeah, a little to
do with that, yeah.
- I figured.
Well, you're both very
nice to fight over
who gets to take
me back to India.
You know, it makes me
feel kind of special.
- Yeah.
Well.
- I wonder what it'll be like.
- What?
- Family.
I left when I was a baby.
- Me, too.
- [Pickles] I haven't
seen my family in years.
- Same here.
- The Leapin' Lord wanted
a cute little elephant
for his show, and he found me.
My parents tried to
stop him, but they..
I've been locked in
a cage ever since.
Until you guys rescued me.
And now, wow.
Now I've never felt more free.
All thanks to you.
(tinkling music)
(gasps) Is that Orion's butt?
- [Hitpig] Oh, I
think you mean belt.
- Pretty sure it's his butt.
India has a Golden Gate Bridge?
- Wait, what?
- Ah!
We overshot home a smidge.
Going down!
(parachute tearing)
(air escaping)
Oh, no, no, no, no!
(glass shattering)
(pillar collapsing)
Ow, ouch!
Ow!
My hand!
- Whoa. That was
our next contestant.
- Help me.
- You're wounded. Medic!
I guess you'll have to do.
- Oh, no, no, no,
no, no, I couldn't.
No, I'm in a hurry
and I need to-
- Get dressed. We're
about to go live.
- Live? Wait, wait,
hold on, what is this?
(Pickles gasping)
- Is this a show?
- Stay in!
(audience cheering)
(upbeat music)
"King Chef For A
Day?" How about that?
- [Pickles] This is it!
This is your chance!
- What?
- Come here!
- We need to get going.
- Pump the brakes! This
is your dream come true.
- Don't be silly.
- I'm not silly.
Dreams are what give us hope.
You dream to cook, so cook.
- But I mean, I hurt my hand
when that 15 ton beam
fell on it, okay?
I can't!
- But we can.
- Why are you helping me?
- That's what friends are for!
I'm helping you, just
like you're helping
me find my family.
- Oh, boy. Look, Pickles, I-
- Welcome to "King
Chef For A Day!"
The show where our
contestants have five minutes
to make a delicious meal from
the ingredients we provide.
The only rule is..
- Use every ingredient!
- And tonight's contestant
literally just dropped in.
Give it up for Hitpig!
(audience cheering)
Yeah, boy.
- They're waiting for you!
- [Audience] Hitpig! Hitpig!
- Higher.
(crocodile snapping)
Higher! Higher! (yells)
(body thudding)
- Hitpig! Yeah, boy.
- Hitpig?
Where's my stolen elephant?
He doesn't have
time to cook on TV!
He needs to bring my
Pickles back to me!
(dramatic music)
(audience chanting)
- Hey, watch the trunk!
- Hey!
Looks like it's omelet time!
- Showtime, Hitpig! We got this.
- Go!
- Hand me the eggs.
- Oh!
(audience laughing)
- Whoopsie! (laughs)
Egg on your face.
- Follow my rhythm!
Whisk, stir, whisk.
Chop, slice, dice.
(pan sizzling)
There we go.
(suspenseful music)
- And now, today's
mystery ingredient.
- Oh, hi. (laughs)
How's things?
(dish rattling)
(upbeat music)
(lobster yelping)
- You can't cook him!
- All right, put him in the pot.
- He's got eyeballs! No!
(Hitpig grunting)
He's one of us!
Don't hurt him!
- No, no, no, no!
- What?
(lobster yelping)
- You can't boil him!
He has feelings!
- And a name! Louie!
I don't wanna die!
- You save animals!
That's your thing, right?
- Well, I..
Ow!
(metal clanging)
(lobster yelping)
- Free Louie!
- Get that? Free
Louie. Free Louie!
- Oh, come on. Throw
the lobster in!
- Make love, not lobster!
Rock lobster
- Stop!
Rock lobster
- [Crew] Oh, no, look out!
(wire snapping)
(sign collapsing)
(Louie yelling)
(knives stabbing)
(Louie yelling)
(phone beeping)
(sign thudding)
(Pickles laughing)
- May I, Louie?
- They grow back,
huh? Don't they?
Don't they?
- Every ingredient!
- [Audience] Taste it! Taste it!
(host slurping)
(playful music)
(audience cheering)
(bell dinging)
(Hitpig exclaiming)
- This is a dream come true.
Thank you.
- Well, so is you rescuing me.
Thank you.
- Pickles, no, I mean, there's..
There's no reason to thank
me. You know, for real.
There is no reason to thank me.
(wires sparking)
(device beeping)
(Leticia laughing)
(device beeping)
(knuckles cracking)
(device beeping)
- [Artificial Voice]
Weapon systems online.
Ow. What is going on?
(person yelling)
(torpedo launching)
Target obliterated.
- Whoops!
(Leticia gasping)
(device beeping)
- [Artificial Voice]
Autopilot to catch gun
coordinates engaged.
- Ooh.
(device beeping)
- Yes!
(Leticia gasping)
So you're in San Francisco?
I'm coming, Pickles.
(audience cheering)
(phone ringing)
- Hey.
- Hello?
- Listen, Porky McPorkFace.
You overshot the
handoff by 400 miles.
It seems you've lost your way.
- No, I'm finding it actually.
- Well, I'm coming
for my dance partner.
She and I will soar to
heights never before seen.
Don't move.
(door slamming)
- All right, move.
- Move, move, move, move, move.
- Where are we going?
- Anywhere but here.
- Well, how about India?
- Yeah, okay, look, we
need to talk about that.
I, I need to come
clean about something.
- Clean? I get it.
- What, you do?
- Oh, always happens
after several months, yep.
I need a bucket.
- Wait, what?
- You need one of those.
- A bathtub? Ooh, nice!
- I'm not really who you,
well, who you think I am.
I mean, being Hitpig isn't
necessarily a good thing.
You know, it's
actually impressive
how much trouble she can cause
in less than two seconds.
(Pickles sighing)
- Yeah.
(Louie humming)
Warm water
feels pretty good.
- Oh, sure, sure. That's
how it always starts!
Then comes screaming, and
then the lemon butter,
and then them nut
cracker things!
I don't even have nuts!
- Hey, Pickles, we gotta go!
People that come home to
an elephant in their tub
tend to get a little upset!
- [Pickles] I'm coming!
- Well, would you hurry
before someone finds us?
- Ooh, that tickles.
- Oh, okay, what am I gonna do?
What are we gonna do?
What am we gonna do?
Okay, let's think here.
All right, this couch is comfy.
Didn't sleep too well on
the old balloon last night.
(Hitpig yawning)
You know, I just, one
minute to think what to do.
And, you know, maybe
if I close my eyes,
it'll all come to me.
The answers will just
come right to me.
(tinkling music)
Bertha?
What?
How have you been?
- Dead, kid. I've been dead.
- Yeah, no, I've
been better too.
- Oh, no. What's
wrong, little buddy?
- Well, for one thing,
someone stole all my money.
- Here, try this.
(Hitpig slurping)
And the van got towed.
- You lost your money, your van.
- And my catch gun.
- Well, at least you
haven't lost your way.
- Well, I mean, you
know, that's the thing.
I'm supposed to take this
elephant back to her owner.
You know, she's worth
a million bucks.
- Wow. Prices have
really gone up.
- Yeah, yeah.
Anyways, she doesn't
want to go back.
Frankly, I don't blame her.
But the reward is
just so big, I..
- We never did this
for the reward.
- But you said our business
was very rewarding.
- Oh, little buddy. Because
of all the animals we helped.
- But the last one ate you.
- Yeah, you win
some, you lose some.
Hey, little buddy.
A long time ago I got
the call to return
an escaped piglet
to a bacon farm.
He was so scared and so cute.
I knew I couldn't
return him, so I didn't.
And over time, we
became best friends.
You, Hitpig. You were
my greatest reward.
Now time to eat.
(Louie screaming)
- Lucky for me,
it's only a dream.
Wakey-wakey.
- Ow!
- We're in a lake-y.
- Oh, no. Oh, no, no, no, no.
What happened?
- Sprung a leaky.
(tense music)
(tense music continues)
- Pickles! Pickles,
what did you do?
- Got a bathtub
stuck to my butt.
Did you have a nice nap?
- Okay, we gotta go up.
All right, just swim.
I thought elephants could swim.
- Not if they don't have
a mom to teach them.
(tense music)
(water splashing)
(tense music)
(glass thudding)
(tense music)
(water splashing)
- Okay, can you reach it?
- No. But I think you can.
- What are you doing?
No! Come on!
(tense music)
- Pickles.
We can do it! You're so close.
No, no, no, no, no! Pickles.
Pickles!
Pickles!
(somber music)
(Hitpig gasping)
(somber music)
(somber music continues)
(paper thudding)
(glass cracking)
(water spurting)
(glass shattering)
(Louie yelling)
(tense music)
(water splashing)
(somber music)
- Pickles!
No! No, no, no, no, no, no. No.
Pickles, wake up! (coughs)
(uplifting music)
- Hello, Pickles.
Ready to go home?
Come on now. Up, up.
Oh, and you, Hitpig. You had
me worried there for a moment.
I suppose I should deduct
some money for the delay
and change of drop off location.
But I want to support
your business,
returning escaped
animals to their owners.
(money fluttering)
- What? No, no, no, no, no.
He's not returning me
to you. He's my friend!
You're my friend, right?
- Yes. Yes, no, now I am.
I mean now I want to be.
I wasn't bringing
you home to India.
I was bringing you
to, well, to him.
- Let's go, Pickles.
Our show launches in
less than four hours.
- Deals off, Leapin' Lord.
Take your money back.
Her home is in
India, not in Vegas.
And certainly not with you.
- I'm not going
with either of you.
- You'll get in
your cage right now.
(Pickles gasping)
- Stop!
- Get your hands off her!
- Fluffy, a little help, please.
(door opening)
(tense music)
(Pickles gasping)
- Oh.
Fluffy's a croc!
(crocodile growling)
(Hitpig whimpering)
- Well, that was easy.
Fluffy, teach pickles a lesson.
(crocodile snapping)
(Pickles yelping)
(tense music)
(Pickles crying)
(door shutting)
Don't ever run away again!
Come on, Fluffy.
(Pickles crying)
(engine revving)
(tense music)
(hand slapping)
- Ow!
That's enough!
- I think not.
(hand slapping)
(Hitpig yelping)
- That last slap felt good.
- You did all that for a salad?
This lettuce don't
even taste good!
- Okay, look, you were
right, I was wrong.
- Where's Pickles?
- The Leaping Lord took her.
- He abuses her!
- I know. And I
need to save her.
- Really? Looks like you
handed her over and got paid.
- It's not like that, okay?
I tried to stop him, but-
Give me my van.
- We're going with you.
- Who's we?
- Say hello to my
little friends.
- Surprise, swine!
- Hitpig.
- Couldn't help it.
Had to free them, too.
- Brazilian chicks rock!
- I'm gonna drop kick your
ham hocks, bounty hunter.
(Hitpig yelling)
- You know what? I
probably deserved that.
- Take that! Hiya!
- Ow. Okay, are you done?
Got it outta your system now?
No, no, no, no.
Not that. Not, no.
That, I don't deserve.
When I said get it out of your
system, I didn't mean that.
- That's not even just,
he tried to boil me alive.
- Ow!
- By the way, my
favorite food is bacon.
- Are we even yet?
- Not even close.
But we feel a lot better.
- Shall we go get Pickles?
- Yeah. Let's go
rescue an elephant.
- Let's roll.
- You better not mean
lobster roll, sister.
- I like this sassy crustacean.
- [Hitpig] Move
over. I'm driving.
- [Polecat] You got
a plan, pork chop?
- That depends. How
do you define plan?
Pop, pop, pop music
Pop, pop, pop music
Get down
Pop, pop, pop music
Pop, pop, pop music
- Look at that crowd, Fluffy!
Clamoring to see me!
Yes, I know I'm paying
them a hundred bucks each,
plus a glow stick,
but a crowd's a crowd.
Fluffy, the show
is about to start
and you forgot to comb
your eyebrows, again.
Oh, nevermind. Tonight we soar!
- All right.
And that is why Taylor Swift
would be a great president.
Now anybody got any ideas
how to save Pickles?
I'm just joking, no.
Using a combination
of intelligence,
counterintelligence,
and counter counterintelligence,
we will have
acquired our target.
Oh whoa, and to
make matters worse,
there's a crocodile and he's
gonna try and eat all of us.
He might even get one of us.
- Crocodiles?
I thought little pigs and
was scared of big bad wolves.
- Okay, first off,
I'm not a little pig.
I'm a perfectly
average sized pig.
Secondly, the three
little pigs were not
scared of the big
bad wolf, okay?
Remember the tune? That
was their whole thing.
They didn't even know who's
afraid of the big bad wolf.
- Well, it just seems like a
lot of work to nab a pickle.
- Not a pickle.
Pickles the elephant.
- Oh, we going to
need a better team.
No offense, losers.
- I already called for backup.
- Who?
- Take a look up in the sky.
- Is that a bird?
- Is that a cat?
(rooster laughing)
- Oh my goodness.
Oh my goodness.
It's Super Rooster!
- Super cock-a-doodley-doo!
(body thudding)
A super
cock-a-doodley-doo to you.
And you and you.
- Super Rooster!
(all cheering)
- Well, you know, I'm
not really a hero.
I just play one in cartoons.
But the producers
have permanently sewn
the suit to my body, so I get
to fly around whenever I want.
- Thank you for coming.
And look, I gotta just
get this outta the way.
I'm your biggest fan. You
know, "Nuggets of Glory."
Oh, for me, honestly,
your best work.
- No need to thank me.
I gotta say, if this is really
about saving an elephant,
eh, I'm in.
Plus, you know, you said
something about a million bucks.
- You're giving
him all your money?
- Well, not all of it, no.
Louie ate a bunch of it.
I think he thinks it's salad.
- I've never been more regular.
- I'll take almost any
amount at this point.
You know, my third wife
ran off with a penguin.
You know, he's a sharp
dresser, I must say,
but the whole split
has cost me a bundle!
Anyways, should we get the
autographs outta the way, huh?
- Thanks, mate.
- Can I touch your wattle?
- All right guys, come
on. Focus on the plan.
But could you sign one
more? It's to my nephew.
- Yeah, what's his name?
- My, his name, yeah. Hitpig.
- All right. What's the plan?
- We're winging it. Let's go!
- Time to kick butt!
- We're outta here!
- Let's cock-a-doodley-doo!
(engine revving)
- Ladies and gentlemen, prepare
to have your minds blown.
Blown like they have
never been blown before.
And now let the
mind blowing begin!
Hello, dance fans!
(audience cheering)
The Leapin' Lord welcomes you.
It's the moment I've
been waiting for.
(air whooshing)
(rock music)
- We're coming for you, Pickles!
(rock music)
(gate slamming)
- Is this part of the plan?
- Why would a theater
have steel doors?
- Well, mission
not accomplished.
(clock ticking)
- Countdown?
- [Leapin' Lord]
Our show launches in
less than four hours.
Soar to heights
never before soared.
A guaranteed blast.
It's going to rocket
me to stardom.
- Oh, no.
(clock ticking)
- Fasten your seatbelts!
(crowd gasping)
(suspenseful music)
This show is going to
be out of this world!
Ten!
(doors slamming)
Nine!
(crowd gasping)
Eight!
Seven!
Six!
- This isn't a
theater, it's a rocket.
- Say what?
- He's totally nuts! Run!
- Five, four, three, two, one.
(device beeping)
Blast off!
(suspenseful music)
(suspenseful music continues)
- They're all gonna die!
- Not on my watch.
- And how do we stop a rocket?
- [Artificial Voice]
Rocket systems engage.
- Why did I have to ask?
- [Hitpig] You
might wanna hold on.
(dramatic music)
(all yelling)
(crowd yelling)
- (laughs) This is great.
(ominous music)
- I need more power!
- On it!
This is why I get paid
the big bucks, baby.
(dramatic music)
Cock-a-doodley-doo!
(Leapin' Lord laughing)
- I'll soar! I'll fly!
I'll glide.
I'll float and swoop
and flit and whoosh.
I'll give gravity
what it's given me!
Contempt.
(rocket launching)
(Leapin' Lord yelling)
(dramatic music)
- [Artificial Voice]
Warning, critical power loss.
- We're losing them!
- The catch van's
boosters failed.
- Okay, okay!
Step aside, people.
It's my time to shine.
A tube, please.
Now hand me that chimichanga.
(stomach gurgling)
Fire in the hole!
(polecat farting)
(van speeding)
(triumphant music)
(rocket screeching)
(upbeat music)
- Oh, goody!
It's starting!
From the floors of Tokyo
- Back off, Fluffy.
This is my special moment.
The Leapin' Lord of the Leotard
and Pickles the Dancing Elephant
will be the greatest
show off Earth!
I'm dancing with myself
- Hit the gas!
- 10-4, good buddy.
(rocket launching)
Dancing with myself
Well, there's nothing to lose
and there's nothing to prove
When I'm dancing with myself
- It's showtime!
(crocodile snapping)
All over the world
And there's every
type of girl
But your empty eyes
seem to pass me by
- Oh, Pickles!
(crowd gasping)
It'll give me time to think
If I had the chance, I'd
ask the world to dance
Oh, oh
(Leapin' Lord exclaiming)
(crocodile snapping)
(Pickles gasping)
(upbeat music)
- [Hitpig] Almost there.
Just gimme a little squeak.
(Leapin' Lord laughing)
- Are you ready for
my destiny, Pickles?
I'm leaping!
(tense music)
(Pickles gasping)
(tense music)
- He came back for me.
- Catch me! (yelps)
(crowd gasping)
(Leapin' Lord growling)
(dogs yipping)
Get back here, Pickles!
Hitpig!
(tense music)
(device beeping)
- Now what?
- [Artificial Voice]
My sensors detect
their oxygen levels dropping
and I don't see a way
for them to return
to Earth on their own.
- Can we push 'em back?
- [Artificial Voice] Not
without smashing into Earth.
- We need a parachute. Grab
whatever fabric you can find.
Curtains, costumes,
even underwear.
- That ain't new
territory from me.
- Oh, how exciting.
- Feel like pulled pork
for dinner, Fluffy?
Then go get that pig.
- We need to divide and conquer.
Can you fly around the outside,
see how we might be able
to pull these people back?
- Can do!
- Ah-ah-ah-ah.
(Pickles yelling)
- I'll keep control
of the catch van.
- Okay guys, let's save Pickles
and everyone in that theater!
- Aye aye, Captain!
- Roger, roger.
- Over and out.
(air whooshing)
- [Hitpig] Really?
(dramatic music)
(crocodile growling)
- Hitpig! (yelps)
- Go help Pickles, now!
(Pickles gasping)
I've fought bigger lizards
than you in the Outback.
Come at me!
(crocodile snapping)
- You came back.
- I'm so sorry, Pickles.
I should have told
you the truth.
Can you forgive me?
- What are friends for?
- You're ruining
everything, Hitpig!
- I'm ruining everything? You're
going to get us all killed!
I'm actually trying
to unruin everything.
- I'm giving them the
greatest show off Earth!
(crowd cheering)
- Yeah, but you don't have a
way to bring 'em back to Earth!
(crowd gasping)
- Well, I can't
think of everything!
Do you know how hard it
was just to do all this?
(Leapin' Lord grunting)
- Ding ding!
In the left ring we have
the croc versus a koala.
Common sense says
koala's gonna die!
(crocodile snapping)
(hand slapping)
- Do you think this is
scripted or all improv?
- In the right ring, we
have a pig versus a lunatic!
(bell dinging)
(crowd cheering)
(tail slapping)
(koala grunting)
(Leapin' Lord grunting)
- Now even the lack
of gravity mocks me.
- Come at me, you
toothy turd! (grunts)
(bodies thudding)
- Watch out, Hitpig!
(crocodile growling)
- This is for Bertha!
Consider yourself hit.
Oh, no.
(body thudding)
(Leticia yelling)
(rooster yelping)
(Leapin' Lord yelling)
(Leapin' Lord yelling)
(crowd cheering)
- I never cut
corners on costumes.
The audience is applauding
my exit, Fluffy.
I can still hear
them. (chuckles)
(Louie yelling)
- Whoa!
- Pickles!
(Louie yelling)
(fabric snapping)
(Hitpig yelling)
- Right!
(fabric stretching)
- Like we're made
for each other.
- A perfect fit.
(gentle music)
(Pickles squeaking)
(gentle music)
(koala grunting)
(dramatic music)
- A super cock-a-doodley-doo!
I'm coming for you!
(dramatic music)
(koala grunting)
(fabric snapping)
(door closing)
(Hitpig groaning)
- Hi, Hitpig.
- How you doing, pig?
- (chuckles) And
I thought you just
played a superhero on TV.
- You really are one.
- Aw, shucks.
- (gasps) You're alive!
Oh, thank goodness!
(crowd cheering)
What do you say we get
everybody back to Earth now?
(crowd cheering)
- I need more horsepower!
- I need more chimichangas!
(polecat farting)
(jets firing)
(tense music)
- [Artificial Voice]
Approaching Earth's atmosphere.
(tense music)
(crowd shouting)
We're coming in too fast.
- Panties, jock straps,
boxers, just send them on over!
Come on!
- [Artificial Voice]
This is going to hurt.
(polecat grunting)
(jets sputtering)
(tense music)
(Pickles squealing)
(crowd yelling)
Warning, impact imminent.
Well, it was nice knowing you.
- Deploy the parachute.
(parachute whooshing)
(gentle music)
(air whooshing)
- Whoa.
(crowd gasping)
(crowd cheering)
(crowd cheering)
- [Audience Member] Can
I get my thong back?
(phone beeping)
- Well, I guess it's
time to all go home, huh?
- I'm heading to Australia if
you wanna ride with me, koala.
- Yeah, great. I'll
show you my digs.
Throw some eucalyptus
on the Barbie.
- I'm going to introduce polecat
to some Hollywood agents.
He's a star if
I've ever seen one.
(polecat laughing)
- Thank you.
- Oh, I'm staying here.
We're in Vegas, baby!
And I got me a date!
Well, everyone
loves my hard body.
(all laughing)
- You sure you
want these poodles?
- If they want me.
(dogs barking)
- Pickles, may I take
you home to India?
- Yes. Yes, you may.
(uplifting music)
(gentle music)
(gentle music continues)
(gentle music continues)
(festive music)
- Frittata!
- Omelet coming up!
(child speaking
foreign language)
- (speaks foreign
language) Of course.
(child speaking
foreign language)
- Oh, we got a wise guy here.
Hey, look kid, no
bacon ever. Capiche?
- Ciao, Hitpig.
- Surprise!
So, how you doing?
- Living the dream. (chuckles)
How was India?
- Beautiful. But I couldn't
find a family there
quite like our friends.
- Yeah. Yeah, I guess friends
are the family we choose.
- So what's it like
living the omelet dream?
Is it all it's cracked up to be?
- Yeah, you know,
it pays the bills
for an even bigger dream.
- Really?
- Yeah.
- See, on weekends we
do some volunteer work.
- We?
(horn honking)
(rock music)
How was Indiana?
- Hey, everyone, hi!
You got room for one
more on that thing?
- You bet we do.
Lower the tub!
- I love a family outing.
Born to be wild
- So if you're a kitty
who's left the city
or a moose on the loose or a
cow that said ciao, call us.
Your happiness is our reward.
Born to be wild
- Ooh, I'm feeling a
little bit toasty here.
How about you, Fluffy?
Son of a sun!
And scene.
(sun sizzling)
Born to be wild
Born to be wild
Get your motor running
Head out on the highway
Looking for adventure
And whatever comes our way
Yeah, gotta go
and make it happen
Take the world
in a love embrace
Fire all your
guns at once and
Explode into space
I like smoke and lightning
Heavy metal thunder
Racing with the wind
And the feeling
that I'm under
Yeah, darling,
gonna make it happen
Take the world
in a love embrace
Fire all of your
guns at once and
Explode into space
Like a true nature's child
We were born,
born to be wild
We can climb so high
And never wanna die
Born to be wild
Born to be wild
Get your motor running
Head out on the highway
Looking for adventure
And whatever comes our way
Yeah, darling,
gonna make it happen
Take the world
in a love embrace
Fire all your
guns at once and
Explode into space
Born to be wild
Born to be wild
Born to be wild
Born to be wild
(upbeat music)
- [Dancer] As queen of
the elephants, it is I
who wears the pants,
so as your queen,
I command you all to dance.
(upbeat music)
(upbeat music continues)
(upbeat music continues)
(tense music)
(tense music continues)
(tense music continues)
(tense music continues)
(tense music continues)
(tense music continues)
(tense music continues)
(tense music continues)
(tense music continues)
(tense music continues)
(tense music continues)
(tense music continues)
(tense music continues)
(tense music continues)
(tense music continues)
(tense music continues)
(tense music continues)
(tense music continues)
(tense music continues)
(tense music continues)
(gentle music)
(gentle music continues)
(gentle music continues)
(gentle music continues)
(gentle music continues)
(gentle music continues)
(gentle music continues)
(uplifting music)
(uplifting music continues)
(uplifting music continues)
(uplifting music continues)
(uplifting music continues)
(gentle music)
(gentle music continues)
(gentle music continues)
(tense music)
(gentle music)
(gentle music continues)
(gentle music continues)
(gentle music continues)
(gentle music continues)
(gentle music continues)
(gentle music continues)
(gentle music continues)
(gentle music continues)
(gentle music continues)
(gentle music continues)
(gentle music continues)
(gentle music continues)
(gentle music continues)
(gentle music continues)
(gentle music continues)
(playful music)
(upbeat music)
Get your motor runnin'
Head out on the highway
Lookin' for adventure
And whatever comes our way
- [Hitpig] When your
kitty's left the city.
When your moose is on the loose.
When your cow has said
ciao, you need me.
My friends call me-
Wait, I don't have friends.
I call me "Hitpig."
Born to be wild
- [Hitpig] You see,
I was raised by
the legendary pet bounty
hunter, Big Bertha,
and I was her super
cool sidekick.
You know, like Batman
and Robin, Ben and Jerry,
Aquaman and whoever the
heck Aquaman's sidekick was.
Fish? No. Doesn't matter.
We caught cats, hamsters,
snakes, all that for money.
You get the idea.
She taught me everything
I needed to know
about the bounty biz.
(Bertha blowing)
How to dress.
I mean, yeah,
she got this at an
American Girl store, but..
She trained me how to
be half Dr. Doolittle,
half James Bond,
half Mandalorian.
And yes, I know
that's three halves.
She wasn't great at math.
And she taught me
how to make an omelet
without breaking any
eggs, which is impossible.
So I guess it was a metaphor,
but it doesn't matter.
She was a good business woman.
- This business can
be very rewarding.
- [Hitpig] Then one day a
call came in, Tiny the Lizard,
a thousand bucks, which
seemed high for a lizard.
- It's just an easy
peasy, tiny lizard.
I'll be right back.
Here, Tiny, Tiny, Tiny.
- [Hitpig] Turns out
Tiny wasn't so tiny.
Tiny was a crocodile.
(dramatic music)
Just like that, Bertha was gone.
(light music)
Start wearing purple,
wearing purple
Start wearing
purple for me now
- All right, here we go!
Mr. Secretary wants
us to run a test.
Wakey, winky,
stinky tubes skunk.
Call HR! My coworkers
are trying to kill me!
- Gotcha! Right this way.
- Not this again, please!
- You know the drill.
Skedaddle down the tube
to the plutonium room.
Do not touch the glowy thing!
Then you come back and we
test your radiation levels.
Pieces of cake. Remember, do
not touch the glowy thing!
(polecat yelling)
(lid shutting)
(device beeping)
- Do not touch the glowy thing?
Honey, that's my
ticket outta here!
- Go left!
(worker imitating Pacman)
(laughs) I love that game.
- [Polecat] I knew I
shouldn't have traded shifts
with the hamster!
(metal clanging)
(polecat exclaiming)
- Bullseye!
Do not touch the glowy thing!
No, no, no, no, no, no, no!
(polecat yelling)
(lid opening)
(workers yelling)
- Hey, I feel all tingly
and now I'm glowing pink?
Ooh, new look. Who dis?
- Bad tube skunk!
- Uh, pole cat, not tube skunk!
Woo-hoo, freedom!
- Oh, hello. Oh, everything's
fine, Mr. Secretary.
How's the radiation level?
(bird exploding)
Oh, fine.
- What's up?
(bird exploding)
What's up? What's up?
(workers yelling)
(building exploding)
Oh! It's big!
- Freedom!
Woo-hoo, hello
world! Here I come.
I got a glowing bum,
full of plutonium!
What?
- [Hitpig] Party's
over, pole cat.
(polecat yelling)
(net shooting)
(polecat exclaiming)
- Hey! Hot truffles, not me!
You need therapy!
Where's your humanity, pig?
- Oink.
(polecat yelling)
(building exploding)
- Wow! Ex-squeeze me.
I'm not quite sure
what happened there.
- Whoa.
Some guys cut the
cheese, but you, brother,
you destroy the cheese.
You cut the cheese, then you
go find the cheese's family,
and then you cut them.
- Peter Parker gets
radiation poisoning
and shoots webs
out of his wrist.
Me, apparently I
shoot nukes out of my-
- Hey, be careful
with that thing.
- Look, your cousin Porky.
(Hitpig sighing)
(polecat exclaiming)
Adios, cocktail fake.
- Not so fast, Radiation Rump.
(goo exploding)
(groans) I had it
on selfie mode.
(gun shooting)
- That's nasty.
- Consider yourself.. hit.
Whoa. What was that?
That was terrible.
Lemme try that again.
Consider yourself hit.
Boom! Nailed it!
(dramatic music)
- [Announcer] The
newest show in Vegas,
featuring Pickles
the dancing elephant
will be out of this world,
so says the Leapin'
Lord of the Leotard.
He has staged some of the
worst animal acts ever.
He trained his three
ton elephant Pickles
to leap into his arms, breaking
every bone in his body.
After two years in the
hospital, he trained Pickles
to leap into the
arms of his poodle.
(elephant thudding)
A far worse idea.
The Leapin' Lord squandered
his family's reputation
and fortune, and they
have disowned him.
Undeterred, the
Leapin' Lord guarantees
no one will walk
out of this show.
We saw hope Pickles
will be okay.
- [Leapin' Lord] It's showtime!
Dancers, take positions!
- And now, Pickle the Elephant!
(hisses) That's
your cue, Poodles.
- Where's the
motivational coach?
(crocodile snapping)
(upbeat music)
(upbeat music continues)
Okay, enough with the dancing.
Cast your eyes to the heavens.
The one and only me!
People of the earth,
I present to you
the otherworldly
Leapin' Lord of the Leotard!
Drum roll.
(upbeat music)
Here we go!
Whoa.
(floor squeaking)
(dog wheezing)
(upbeat music)
(gentle music)
(body thudding)
- Oh, blast you, Pickles!
You have one job!
Why didn't you catch me?
Nevermind.
Wait until you see what
I have planned for us
opening night!
I will reach for the
stars and soar to heights
never before soared!
I'll fly. I'll glide.
I'll float and swoop
and flit and whoosh.
And give gravity what
it's given me, contempt.
- A billion dollar dynasty
flushed down a crapper
by the Leapin' Lord
of the Lunatics.
- Hey, six generations
of animal acts
are not ending with me!
Okay, rehearsals
over! Everyone out!
(lever lowering)
I'm a real wild
one, wild one
Wild one, wild one
(upbeat rock music)
Well, I'm just out of school
Like I'm real, real cool
Gotta dance like a fool
Got the message that
I gotta be a wild one
Oh yeah, I'm a wild one
Gonna break it loose
Gonna keep being a wild one
'Cause baby, I'm
a real wild child
(upbeat rock music)
(butter sizzling)
(upbeat rock music)
- [Artificial Voice] Escaped
pet alert. Escaped pet alert.
Hey, Gordon Hamsy. Shall I
keep saying escaped pet alert?
- Gordon Hamsy. I get it.
'Cause I'm a pig that cooks.
That's the best you got, huh?
- [Artificial
Voice] Chef Boar RD.
Sty Fieri. Wolfgang Pig.
- Hilarious.
Who says computers
can't be funny? Not me.
Oh wait, yeah. No, it is me.
I say computers can't be funny.
- [Artificial Voice]
Zoo surveillance
caught an animal rights
activist freeing the koala.
- Leticia. Our
paths cross again.
Catch van to the
land down under.
We'll check the
outback, the front back,
the inside out, and
the upside down.
Activate propulsion boosters.
- Activated.
(wheels spinning)
- Weapons systems online.
- [Artificial Voice]
Locked and loaded.
- And pump up the rock 'n roll.
(rock music)
(door slamming)
(dog whining)
(playful music)
(door slamming)
(Pickles gasping)
- Greatness is so close
I can smell it, Pickles.
The eyes of too many
lords and ladies
are looking down on me!
They said I didn't fit in.
That I was an untalented,
tubby failure.
That I'll never
leap into anything
but an all you can
eat buffet table.
And while I do love a
complimentary Vegas buffet,
I mean, who doesn't?
I'll show them what
I'm capable of!
Mummy and Daddy
dazzled audiences,
riding lions through
hoops of fire.
Grandmama was blasted
from a howitzer cannon
over a swimming pool
filled with hungry sharks.
My dearest uncle was
a bullfighter. And
not with a red cape.
He fought them with his fists.
You see, to have the next
great animal act is my destiny!
(Leapin' Lord humming)
(Pickles gasping)
Ugh, elephant snot.
(crocodile laughing)
I lock you up because
I love you so much.
I mean, I don't know what I'd do
if anything ever happened
to you, Pickley-poo.
Who would catch me then?
(crocodile growling)
Oh, get real, Alligator Arms.
I know you're a crocodile.
It's just a figure of speech.
Now eat your lunch.
Open it yourself. (laughs)
(dogs whining)
I gave her your dog food.
You buggies missed
your cue on stage,
and I know you're laughing
at me behind my back.
I just can't prove it
yet. No food for you!
(crocodile growling)
(door shutting)
(dogs whining)
- Hey, don't worry, guys.
I'm gonna get us out of here.
You'll be free soon and I..
I can find my family.
(door opening)
- Door ajar.
(door shutting)
Door ajar.
(door slamming)
Door closed.
Hooray. You did it.
- Don't you have a stealth
mode or a shut up mode
or something?
Croc? Ugh.
No guns, no nuns, no lil' ones.
(nun screaming)
- Any other nuns here?
- Hey, keep an eye on
that, would you, Sister?
All right, koala. Where are you?
(device scanning)
Here, koala, koala, koala.
(device beeping)
Bingo, Dingo.
- Thought I smelled bacon.
- Let's go, koala.
- Not going back there, Hitpig.
- You escaped.
- I had to escape!
Do you know who comes
to petting zoos?
- Kids?
- Yeah, kids.
Filthy, slimy,
sticky, smelly kids.
They wipe their snotty noses,
then pet me with
those same tiny hands.
They're disgusting!
- Ah, you got a
little something stuck
to the back of your head.
(koala yelling)
Whoa.
That's gonna leave a bald spot.
- For the love of goon bag.
- Cute little Sheila.
- If you pet the fur,
I'll drop kick you to-
Whoop whoop!
(nose honking)
(body thudding)
(person yelling)
- Oh, boy.
(glass shattering)
(crowd yelling)
- I never asked for this
adorable face, Hitpig!
I don't wanna be
cute. I'm not cute.
- Hey!
(koala gasping)
- Don't take me back!
- Hey, I got a job to do.
- Get another job.
- Look, this is the only
job I know how to do.
- Animals are meant to be free.
- Get a taste of my
world famous pork chop.
Hiya! Ow!
Your, uh, shoe's untied.
(nose honking)
(foot stomping)
(koala exclaiming)
(koala yelling)
(Hitpig exclaiming)
(body thudding)
- That's right.
Go way, way, way,
all the way home.
(metal creaking)
Ah, son of a beach nut.
- Thank you, Sister.
You are one bad habit.
I know. Forgive me.
- Thanks, mate. $10,000 in dues.
- I hope someone turns you into
a ham steak one day, Hitpig.
Put a little ring
of pineapple on you
and stab you with a fork!
- Thanks, mate.
(dog food plopping)
(somber music)
- This is no life for you all.
I wish I could free you.
(Pickles gasping)
(somber music)
"Famous Panda walks off
popular kung fu set,
says eight films is enough."
Oh man, I liked those films.
"Animal Rights activist,
Leticia Dos Anjos
frees tigers for
Las Vegas show."
Oh man, I liked that show too.
I don't get it.
Wait a minute.
You want me to call
that critter liver,
Leticia, to free you.
Brilliant!
By golly, I've never done
anything important in my life.
That changes today!
- We're almost free.
I can feel it.
- (laughs) Hey,
you're looking good.
A super cock-doodle-doo!
(body thudding)
(rooster groaning)
Super Rooster!
- Super cock-doodle-doo!
Oh, man.
Now that is a catchphrase.
Ah, you know what? Maybe I
could try something like that.
You know, like a super
oinkety-boinkety-boink!
Ah, who asked you, Henry?
- Welcome to "King
Chef For A Day,"
the show where our
contestants have five minutes
to make a delicious meal from
the ingredients we provide.
- Yeah, boy! Oh, another
great catch phrase.
(sighs) You know,
I could win that.
- [Artificial Voice]
When pigs fly.
- Oh, come on. A pig
can dream, can't he?
- [Artificial Voice]
Incoming call. Incoming call.
- Oh, will you leave
me alone, Morticia?
- It's Leticia.
And are you proud of yourself
for messing up all those
poor animals' lives?
Locking them away like
they were criminals?
- Yeah, 'cause they escaped!
- They should never have
been captured at all.
- Hey, it's just business.
You set 'em free,
I bring 'em home.
- You're such a pig. And
that's all the time I needed.
- Needed for what?
- Gain access to your
bank account and take
three, two, one, all
your money, sucker.
- What?
No, no! No, no, no, no, no, no!
- [Leticia] Thank you
for your donation.
- No, no, no, no, no, no, no!
- It's dirty money and it
needs to be used for good.
- I'm good, I'm super
good. I'm so good.
- I'm off to free an elephant.
Thanks for the money.
Ciao.
- (yells) Come on!
(door opening)
Hey.
Did someone call for a rescue?
(Pickles gasping)
Not sure I can
locate your family,
but I can get you home to India.
- Anywhere is better than here.
- Don't worry, poodles. I'll
be back for you guys soon.
(engine revving)
- [Pickles] Woo-hoo, I'm
free! I'm going home!
(door opening)
- Suppertime!
(Leapin' Lord humming)
(dogs yelping)
But not for you.
(door shutting)
(Leapin' Lord humming)
What the elephant?
Someone pilfered Pickles!
Who steals elephants?
I mean, besides me.
(phone ringing)
- Hitpig. Lost your dog?
You called the right hog.
How can I help you?
- Aha, bounty hunter.
I hear you're the best.
At least that's what
it says in your ad.
- Who are you?
- Oh, I don't know.
Maybe I'm only the Leapin'
Lord of the Leotard!
- And I'm Baron of
the Boxer Shorts.
What'd you lose?
- My dance partner!
Somebody stole her!
- Wrong number, pal.
Sounds like you
need a dating app.
- [Leapin' Lord]
She's an elephant.
- Leticia.
- No, Pickles.
I'm launching my show
in Vegas this weekend.
A guaranteed blast.
I'll be leaping, I'm the
Leapin' Lord after all,
but you knew that.
Pickles is the only
one who can catch me.
I have to be caught!
So catch her!
(Leapin' Lord yelling)
(body crashing)
- Hey, don't worry,
I'll catch her,
but you know, I
charge by the pound,
so I'm gonna need you to make
me an offer I can't refuse.
- One million bucks.
- Whoa, that's about
a hundred times
more than I was
thinking, so yes.
- So we have a deal, Hitpig.
Bring her back to me.
- Woo! Looks like this little
piggy is back in business.
- Who's got egg
on their face now?
(people laughing)
Cock-a-doodley-doo!
(rooster yelling)
(Leticia laughing)
- Super Rooster!
(people laughing)
(rooster yelling)
That's something you
don't see every day.
(Leticia laughing)
- [Flight Attendant] We'll be
landing in London momentarily,
on our way to India.
Unfortunately, we have to stop
our in-flight entertainment.
(people groaning)
I know, I love
"Super Rooster" too.
- [Artificial Voice]
Downloading all
train, plane, and
truck manifests.
- All right, where
are you big girl?
- [Artificial Voice] Cargo,
one dog, 62 cats. Poor dog.
- No, no, no.
Okay, train.
- [Artificial Voice]
A baboon, two rabbits.
Check that, two rabbits
now with 27 bunnies.
- No. Vegas to India,
layover in London.
- [Artificial Voice]
Cargo four dogs,
two cats, and one elephant.
- Ah, there you are!
My paciderm payday.
(upbeat music)
- [Artificial Voice]
Target acquired.
Off to jolly old England.
(engine revving)
(light music)
- Ooh, some sort of elephant
party going on there.
Be right back! I'm
gonna scope this out.
After party with my peeps.
Wow, wide load coming
through. (laughs)
I'll be there in a minute.
(vehicle crashing)
(tires screeching)
(cats yelping)
Sorry about that.
- We're so fired.
(light music)
(horns honking)
- Excuse me.
Excuse me!
Nice.
Ooh, that's nice.
Loving the new elephant
fashions, so exciting!
Pickles, you deserve a new look.
(Pickles gasping)
- [Artificial Voice]
Elephant pheromones detected.
Warning, warning.
No parking zone.
- [Hitpig] Have I
ever gotten you towed?
- Wow.
(chair collapsing)
I'm gonna blame that
on poor craftsmanship.
(suspenseful music)
- Aha, Pickle prints.
- [Pickles] Free?
(suspenseful music)
- Memory is yours. (indistinct)
Your better recollection
is pure perfection,
'cause an elephant never,
'cause an elephant never..
Line!
- Forgets!
- Oh, yeah.
(Hitpig groaning)
- Pickles, you
devilish smoke show.
- Like shooting
fish in a barrel.
Really fat fish.
(device scanning)
- As queen of the elephants,
it is I who wears the pants.
So as your queen, I
command you all to dance!
(trumpets blowing)
- No, wait!
- Did someone say dance?
(Hitpig groaning)
(body thudding)
- Stop that elephant!
Hey, hey, Pickles!
I know you can't control
yourself any longer
(Latin music)
(Pickles gasping)
- This is exactly what
I was not expecting,
but I've always wanted to
dance with other elephants!
Come on, shake your
body, baby do that funk
I know you can't control
yourself any longer
Feel the rhythm of the
music getting stronger
- Consider yourself hit.
(dancer yelling)
Ah, dang it.
(Latin music)
- Come here, you weird
looking elephant.
I just wanna hug
you and never stop.
(Pickles screaming)
(pillars collapsing)
(crew shouting)
(water spurting)
Oh, going up.
(giggles) That tickles.
(Hitpig yelling)
- No, no, no, no! (yells)
(dancers yelling)
(bodies thudding)
- Yes!
(Pickles gasping)
(body thudding)
(hologram tinkling)
(Pickles gasping)
(feet thudding)
(Pickles gasping)
- Wow. There's so much.
There's so much world, and
my family is out there.
(Hitpig grunting)
- Well, well, well.
- No more cages for me.
Ever!
(arrows firing)
Are you..
Are you.. (sniffs)
(hat snapping)
- Ouch!
- Are you a little elephant?
- Elephant? No, I'm a pig.
A pig-my elephant.
Yeah, no, you're right. Yeah,
no, a pigmy elephant, yes.
Hey, we're twinsies. (laughs)
I feel like I'm
looking in a mirror.
- Whoa. We're a perfect fit.
- I know, it's like we're
made for each other. (laughs)
- [Pickles] What
happened to your nose?
- Well, you know, I was
at the back of the line
when they were
passing out trunks.
I'm a little sensitive about it.
- Ugh, you're right.
That was rude.
Let's start over. (imitates
rewinding) I'm Pickles.
- I'm Hitpig. Which is short
for Hit Pigmy Elephant.
I've been looking
for you everywhere.
You know, you
missed your flight!
- Oh, are you
friends with Leticia?
- Leticia? (laughs) I mean, yes.
Yes, Leticia and I are
great friends, actually.
Yeah, no, she had to
go do a, you know,
rescue a porpoise or
something, I don't know.
She asked me to help, so.
(Pickles gasping)
- Leticia was
taking me to India.
- India? (grunting)
- Hey, we're sliding, Hitpig.
- No kidding! Give
me my catch gun.
- I love slides.
(body thudding)
- Hold on.
(gun shooting)
(Pickles squealing)
- They towed my
van! Ah, come on!
(Hitpig yelling)
(horn honking)
Think I just cracked
a baby back rib.
- Whoa.
That was fun. Let's do it again.
- And now my gun is broken?
What else could go wrong? Oh!
(light music)
(light music continues)
How do you sneak onto a
plane with an elephant?
(light music)
- Why are we dressed like this?
- Subterfuge.
- Oh. I don't know French.
- What do you mean check
the last and found?
It's a two ton elephant.
- All right, try not to
call attention to yourself.
(tail whipping)
(person exclaiming)
- Excuse me!
- Emotional support,
you know, dog.
(Pickles panting)
I am a work in progress.
It's a very fancy
hairdryer. It's from Europe.
- Of course it is, ma'am.
- Lip balm.
(officer yelling)
(person yelling)
(keys clicking)
(phone ringing)
- Leapin' Lord here.
- Hey, your package is shipping
overnight air to Las Vegas.
- Goodie.
This show is going to rocket
me to stardom, Hitpig.
Her understudy,
well, let's just say
it's a little like
putting lipstick on a pig.
So don't let me down.
(Pickles squealing)
(Pickles crashing)
- Sorry, cutie.
(people snoring)
- [Person] Help! Save
me, Super Rooster!
- Look up in the sky!
(bird pooping)
It's Super rooster.
- Super cock-a-doodley-doo!
- Ah, how this guy never
won an Oscar is beyond me.
You know, politics.
- Hey, would you mind
letting me scooch by?
I've gotta tinkle.
Excuse me.
(Hitpig groaning)
Pardon me.
By the way, could you
ask the stewardess
for a couple dozen more
bags of those peanuts?
They roasted them in
honey! I mean, what?
Yikes.
That little toilet is not
designed for what I have to do,
but girls gotta do
what a girl's gotta do.
(toilet flushing)
(dart shooting)
- Ow!
Right in the ham hocks.
Tranquilizer dart? Leticia.
- That dress really brings
out the rump in your roast.
- Hey, who does your
makeup? Cirque du Soleil?
(darts shooting)
(Hitpig grunting)
(playful music)
(Leticia grunting)
(Hitpig chortling)
(Leticia grunting)
(dart shooting)
(Hitpig slurring)
(Leticia laughing)
(darts shooting)
(Leticia exclaiming)
(darts shooting)
- Listen, Hitpig.
I should be taken seriously.
- For what?
- Stealing back stolen
mooses and hippopotamuses.
- And rhinoceros.
- Plus elephants!
- Elephant? Never!
- Oh.
Okay, so here's the
big girl bathroom.
- No!
(air whipping)
(people shouting)
- Okay, okay.
This is not what I thought
would be behind that door.
(Hitpig yelling)
Grab my tail!
(people shouting)
- Pickles! I'll pull you in!
(people shouting)
Her tights are coming off!
You've gotta let the pig go!
- Why would I let
your friend go?
- He's not my friend!
- I can be!
(tights snapping)
- No!
(both yelling)
- [Pickles] Eat your
heart out, Dumbo!
- No, he can actually fly!
We're toast. We're toast.
- You'll think of something.
- You're right.
I'm thinking you're about to
see how the sausages are made.
(thunder crashing)
Ow, ow, ow. Ow!
- Hey, I knew you'd
think of something.
(tights ballooning)
It's called flying by the
seat of your pants. (laughs)
(Leticia sighing)
- [Pilot] Ladies and gentlemen,
please excuse the
flight turbulence.
- Jackpot.
(passengers chattering)
- Ugh.
(light music)
(Pickles giggling)
- Oh, well, that
worked out nicely.
(metal creaking)
Yay! There's more.
(both yelling)
(metal clanging)
(Hitpig grunting)
- Ow.
(metal clanging)
Now I know what Spam feels like.
So really, that emergency
exit looked like a toilet?
We could have been killed!
- To be fair, it
was an emergency.
- How were you so sure that
I would think of something?
- Because I trust you.
- Yeah, all right,
well, you shouldn't.
- But we're friends now.
- What? No, I
don't have friends.
Not since Bertha.
- Who's Bertha?
- Doesn't matter.
We're hosed, okay?
I'm way off course.
- To India?
- Yeah, to bringing
you home, yeah.
But we need wheels.
All I see is junk.
- You have to free your mind!
It's all caged up. And
trust me, I know cages.
Hey, what about this?
(metal clanging)
Catch!
- Will you stop
throwing junk at me?
(Hitpig whimpering)
(metal clanging)
(blowtorch flaming)
(possum squeaking)
- Hi, little friend.
(possum yelping)
(sign thudding)
Oh!
(possum squeaking)
(Pickles giggling)
(both smooching)
Oh, I'm so sorry.
(Pickles laughing)
(blowtorch flaming)
(possum yawning)
Hey!
(rock music)
(Pickles laughing)
You're a real tough
cookie with a long history
For breaking little
hearts like the one in me
That's okay, let's
see how you do it
Put up your dukes,
let's get down to it
Hit me with your best shot
Come on, hit me
with your best shot
Hit me with your best shot
Why don't you hit me
with your best shot
Hit me with your best shot
Fire away
(possum squeaking)
- Bye, little friend!
- Catch you later, Fuzzball.
All right, sit
down and buckle up.
We got a long way to go.
- Oh!
(engine revving)
- Do you know any show tunes?
- Do I look like
I know show tunes?
Clang, clang, clang
went the trolley
Ding, ding
(Pickles sneezing)
Whoopsie. Oh, a button.
(Hitpig yelling)
See you later.
Oh, you're back!
(water squirting)
Oopsie.
(lever slapping)
Sorry about that.
Look, another button. Woo!
So many buttons and levers.
So fun!
(engine revving)
Isn't today like
a dream come true?
- Look, I don't have
time for silly questions.
- Come on. You
must have a dream.
- Fine, sure. To have
a million dollars.
- And what would you do with it?
- I don't know. Retire.
- And then?
- I don't know. I'd cook.
- Okay. You dream
of being a chef.
- (chuckles) Me, a chef?
It's pretty dumb, right?
- No!
- No? (chuckles)
- (gasps) Look, an elephant!
- Pickles, stop!
(Hitpig yelling)
(metal scraping)
There are no words for
how I feel right now.
(toilet flushing)
- Just trying to
get a closer look!
- [Hitpig] Pickles!
Get back in the UFO!
- Coming down.
Whoa!
An octopus and a chicken!
There are no words for
how I feel right now.
- Pickles! Do not
push or pull anything!
- Push and pull
everything, you said? Okay.
- No! I'll get ya!
Now baby I'm sure
- I can't believe they had
a pigmy elephant balloon.
- [Hitpig] Stay there!
I just can't
wait 'til the day
- Croc!
(Hitpig yelling)
(Hitpig grunting)
- Ooh, that's fun. I wanna try!
(Pickles exclaiming)
(Hitpig yelling)
Okay, okay. I'm
gonna get you! Whee!
(Hitpig yelling)
Whee!
(Hitpig yelling)
Just the most fun ever!
I'm walking on sunshine
(Pickles squealing)
- No! No, no, no, no, no!
- Gotcha!
- Ow.
- I like your style.
You know, you don't show it,
but you know how to have fun.
(gentle music)
- This is a disaster.
- If this is a disaster,
disasters are wonderful!
(Hitpig groaning)
What's wrong?
- Nothing.
Everything.
- Anything to do with Leticia
saying she's not your friend?
- Yeah, a little to
do with that, yeah.
- I figured.
Well, you're both very
nice to fight over
who gets to take
me back to India.
You know, it makes me
feel kind of special.
- Yeah.
Well.
- I wonder what it'll be like.
- What?
- Family.
I left when I was a baby.
- Me, too.
- [Pickles] I haven't
seen my family in years.
- Same here.
- The Leapin' Lord wanted
a cute little elephant
for his show, and he found me.
My parents tried to
stop him, but they..
I've been locked in
a cage ever since.
Until you guys rescued me.
And now, wow.
Now I've never felt more free.
All thanks to you.
(tinkling music)
(gasps) Is that Orion's butt?
- [Hitpig] Oh, I
think you mean belt.
- Pretty sure it's his butt.
India has a Golden Gate Bridge?
- Wait, what?
- Ah!
We overshot home a smidge.
Going down!
(parachute tearing)
(air escaping)
Oh, no, no, no, no!
(glass shattering)
(pillar collapsing)
Ow, ouch!
Ow!
My hand!
- Whoa. That was
our next contestant.
- Help me.
- You're wounded. Medic!
I guess you'll have to do.
- Oh, no, no, no,
no, no, I couldn't.
No, I'm in a hurry
and I need to-
- Get dressed. We're
about to go live.
- Live? Wait, wait,
hold on, what is this?
(Pickles gasping)
- Is this a show?
- Stay in!
(audience cheering)
(upbeat music)
"King Chef For A
Day?" How about that?
- [Pickles] This is it!
This is your chance!
- What?
- Come here!
- We need to get going.
- Pump the brakes! This
is your dream come true.
- Don't be silly.
- I'm not silly.
Dreams are what give us hope.
You dream to cook, so cook.
- But I mean, I hurt my hand
when that 15 ton beam
fell on it, okay?
I can't!
- But we can.
- Why are you helping me?
- That's what friends are for!
I'm helping you, just
like you're helping
me find my family.
- Oh, boy. Look, Pickles, I-
- Welcome to "King
Chef For A Day!"
The show where our
contestants have five minutes
to make a delicious meal from
the ingredients we provide.
The only rule is..
- Use every ingredient!
- And tonight's contestant
literally just dropped in.
Give it up for Hitpig!
(audience cheering)
Yeah, boy.
- They're waiting for you!
- [Audience] Hitpig! Hitpig!
- Higher.
(crocodile snapping)
Higher! Higher! (yells)
(body thudding)
- Hitpig! Yeah, boy.
- Hitpig?
Where's my stolen elephant?
He doesn't have
time to cook on TV!
He needs to bring my
Pickles back to me!
(dramatic music)
(audience chanting)
- Hey, watch the trunk!
- Hey!
Looks like it's omelet time!
- Showtime, Hitpig! We got this.
- Go!
- Hand me the eggs.
- Oh!
(audience laughing)
- Whoopsie! (laughs)
Egg on your face.
- Follow my rhythm!
Whisk, stir, whisk.
Chop, slice, dice.
(pan sizzling)
There we go.
(suspenseful music)
- And now, today's
mystery ingredient.
- Oh, hi. (laughs)
How's things?
(dish rattling)
(upbeat music)
(lobster yelping)
- You can't cook him!
- All right, put him in the pot.
- He's got eyeballs! No!
(Hitpig grunting)
He's one of us!
Don't hurt him!
- No, no, no, no!
- What?
(lobster yelping)
- You can't boil him!
He has feelings!
- And a name! Louie!
I don't wanna die!
- You save animals!
That's your thing, right?
- Well, I..
Ow!
(metal clanging)
(lobster yelping)
- Free Louie!
- Get that? Free
Louie. Free Louie!
- Oh, come on. Throw
the lobster in!
- Make love, not lobster!
Rock lobster
- Stop!
Rock lobster
- [Crew] Oh, no, look out!
(wire snapping)
(sign collapsing)
(Louie yelling)
(knives stabbing)
(Louie yelling)
(phone beeping)
(sign thudding)
(Pickles laughing)
- May I, Louie?
- They grow back,
huh? Don't they?
Don't they?
- Every ingredient!
- [Audience] Taste it! Taste it!
(host slurping)
(playful music)
(audience cheering)
(bell dinging)
(Hitpig exclaiming)
- This is a dream come true.
Thank you.
- Well, so is you rescuing me.
Thank you.
- Pickles, no, I mean, there's..
There's no reason to thank
me. You know, for real.
There is no reason to thank me.
(wires sparking)
(device beeping)
(Leticia laughing)
(device beeping)
(knuckles cracking)
(device beeping)
- [Artificial Voice]
Weapon systems online.
Ow. What is going on?
(person yelling)
(torpedo launching)
Target obliterated.
- Whoops!
(Leticia gasping)
(device beeping)
- [Artificial Voice]
Autopilot to catch gun
coordinates engaged.
- Ooh.
(device beeping)
- Yes!
(Leticia gasping)
So you're in San Francisco?
I'm coming, Pickles.
(audience cheering)
(phone ringing)
- Hey.
- Hello?
- Listen, Porky McPorkFace.
You overshot the
handoff by 400 miles.
It seems you've lost your way.
- No, I'm finding it actually.
- Well, I'm coming
for my dance partner.
She and I will soar to
heights never before seen.
Don't move.
(door slamming)
- All right, move.
- Move, move, move, move, move.
- Where are we going?
- Anywhere but here.
- Well, how about India?
- Yeah, okay, look, we
need to talk about that.
I, I need to come
clean about something.
- Clean? I get it.
- What, you do?
- Oh, always happens
after several months, yep.
I need a bucket.
- Wait, what?
- You need one of those.
- A bathtub? Ooh, nice!
- I'm not really who you,
well, who you think I am.
I mean, being Hitpig isn't
necessarily a good thing.
You know, it's
actually impressive
how much trouble she can cause
in less than two seconds.
(Pickles sighing)
- Yeah.
(Louie humming)
Warm water
feels pretty good.
- Oh, sure, sure. That's
how it always starts!
Then comes screaming, and
then the lemon butter,
and then them nut
cracker things!
I don't even have nuts!
- Hey, Pickles, we gotta go!
People that come home to
an elephant in their tub
tend to get a little upset!
- [Pickles] I'm coming!
- Well, would you hurry
before someone finds us?
- Ooh, that tickles.
- Oh, okay, what am I gonna do?
What are we gonna do?
What am we gonna do?
Okay, let's think here.
All right, this couch is comfy.
Didn't sleep too well on
the old balloon last night.
(Hitpig yawning)
You know, I just, one
minute to think what to do.
And, you know, maybe
if I close my eyes,
it'll all come to me.
The answers will just
come right to me.
(tinkling music)
Bertha?
What?
How have you been?
- Dead, kid. I've been dead.
- Yeah, no, I've
been better too.
- Oh, no. What's
wrong, little buddy?
- Well, for one thing,
someone stole all my money.
- Here, try this.
(Hitpig slurping)
And the van got towed.
- You lost your money, your van.
- And my catch gun.
- Well, at least you
haven't lost your way.
- Well, I mean, you
know, that's the thing.
I'm supposed to take this
elephant back to her owner.
You know, she's worth
a million bucks.
- Wow. Prices have
really gone up.
- Yeah, yeah.
Anyways, she doesn't
want to go back.
Frankly, I don't blame her.
But the reward is
just so big, I..
- We never did this
for the reward.
- But you said our business
was very rewarding.
- Oh, little buddy. Because
of all the animals we helped.
- But the last one ate you.
- Yeah, you win
some, you lose some.
Hey, little buddy.
A long time ago I got
the call to return
an escaped piglet
to a bacon farm.
He was so scared and so cute.
I knew I couldn't
return him, so I didn't.
And over time, we
became best friends.
You, Hitpig. You were
my greatest reward.
Now time to eat.
(Louie screaming)
- Lucky for me,
it's only a dream.
Wakey-wakey.
- Ow!
- We're in a lake-y.
- Oh, no. Oh, no, no, no, no.
What happened?
- Sprung a leaky.
(tense music)
(tense music continues)
- Pickles! Pickles,
what did you do?
- Got a bathtub
stuck to my butt.
Did you have a nice nap?
- Okay, we gotta go up.
All right, just swim.
I thought elephants could swim.
- Not if they don't have
a mom to teach them.
(tense music)
(water splashing)
(tense music)
(glass thudding)
(tense music)
(water splashing)
- Okay, can you reach it?
- No. But I think you can.
- What are you doing?
No! Come on!
(tense music)
- Pickles.
We can do it! You're so close.
No, no, no, no, no! Pickles.
Pickles!
Pickles!
(somber music)
(Hitpig gasping)
(somber music)
(somber music continues)
(paper thudding)
(glass cracking)
(water spurting)
(glass shattering)
(Louie yelling)
(tense music)
(water splashing)
(somber music)
- Pickles!
No! No, no, no, no, no, no. No.
Pickles, wake up! (coughs)
(uplifting music)
- Hello, Pickles.
Ready to go home?
Come on now. Up, up.
Oh, and you, Hitpig. You had
me worried there for a moment.
I suppose I should deduct
some money for the delay
and change of drop off location.
But I want to support
your business,
returning escaped
animals to their owners.
(money fluttering)
- What? No, no, no, no, no.
He's not returning me
to you. He's my friend!
You're my friend, right?
- Yes. Yes, no, now I am.
I mean now I want to be.
I wasn't bringing
you home to India.
I was bringing you
to, well, to him.
- Let's go, Pickles.
Our show launches in
less than four hours.
- Deals off, Leapin' Lord.
Take your money back.
Her home is in
India, not in Vegas.
And certainly not with you.
- I'm not going
with either of you.
- You'll get in
your cage right now.
(Pickles gasping)
- Stop!
- Get your hands off her!
- Fluffy, a little help, please.
(door opening)
(tense music)
(Pickles gasping)
- Oh.
Fluffy's a croc!
(crocodile growling)
(Hitpig whimpering)
- Well, that was easy.
Fluffy, teach pickles a lesson.
(crocodile snapping)
(Pickles yelping)
(tense music)
(Pickles crying)
(door shutting)
Don't ever run away again!
Come on, Fluffy.
(Pickles crying)
(engine revving)
(tense music)
(hand slapping)
- Ow!
That's enough!
- I think not.
(hand slapping)
(Hitpig yelping)
- That last slap felt good.
- You did all that for a salad?
This lettuce don't
even taste good!
- Okay, look, you were
right, I was wrong.
- Where's Pickles?
- The Leaping Lord took her.
- He abuses her!
- I know. And I
need to save her.
- Really? Looks like you
handed her over and got paid.
- It's not like that, okay?
I tried to stop him, but-
Give me my van.
- We're going with you.
- Who's we?
- Say hello to my
little friends.
- Surprise, swine!
- Hitpig.
- Couldn't help it.
Had to free them, too.
- Brazilian chicks rock!
- I'm gonna drop kick your
ham hocks, bounty hunter.
(Hitpig yelling)
- You know what? I
probably deserved that.
- Take that! Hiya!
- Ow. Okay, are you done?
Got it outta your system now?
No, no, no, no.
Not that. Not, no.
That, I don't deserve.
When I said get it out of your
system, I didn't mean that.
- That's not even just,
he tried to boil me alive.
- Ow!
- By the way, my
favorite food is bacon.
- Are we even yet?
- Not even close.
But we feel a lot better.
- Shall we go get Pickles?
- Yeah. Let's go
rescue an elephant.
- Let's roll.
- You better not mean
lobster roll, sister.
- I like this sassy crustacean.
- [Hitpig] Move
over. I'm driving.
- [Polecat] You got
a plan, pork chop?
- That depends. How
do you define plan?
Pop, pop, pop music
Pop, pop, pop music
Get down
Pop, pop, pop music
Pop, pop, pop music
- Look at that crowd, Fluffy!
Clamoring to see me!
Yes, I know I'm paying
them a hundred bucks each,
plus a glow stick,
but a crowd's a crowd.
Fluffy, the show
is about to start
and you forgot to comb
your eyebrows, again.
Oh, nevermind. Tonight we soar!
- All right.
And that is why Taylor Swift
would be a great president.
Now anybody got any ideas
how to save Pickles?
I'm just joking, no.
Using a combination
of intelligence,
counterintelligence,
and counter counterintelligence,
we will have
acquired our target.
Oh whoa, and to
make matters worse,
there's a crocodile and he's
gonna try and eat all of us.
He might even get one of us.
- Crocodiles?
I thought little pigs and
was scared of big bad wolves.
- Okay, first off,
I'm not a little pig.
I'm a perfectly
average sized pig.
Secondly, the three
little pigs were not
scared of the big
bad wolf, okay?
Remember the tune? That
was their whole thing.
They didn't even know who's
afraid of the big bad wolf.
- Well, it just seems like a
lot of work to nab a pickle.
- Not a pickle.
Pickles the elephant.
- Oh, we going to
need a better team.
No offense, losers.
- I already called for backup.
- Who?
- Take a look up in the sky.
- Is that a bird?
- Is that a cat?
(rooster laughing)
- Oh my goodness.
Oh my goodness.
It's Super Rooster!
- Super cock-a-doodley-doo!
(body thudding)
A super
cock-a-doodley-doo to you.
And you and you.
- Super Rooster!
(all cheering)
- Well, you know, I'm
not really a hero.
I just play one in cartoons.
But the producers
have permanently sewn
the suit to my body, so I get
to fly around whenever I want.
- Thank you for coming.
And look, I gotta just
get this outta the way.
I'm your biggest fan. You
know, "Nuggets of Glory."
Oh, for me, honestly,
your best work.
- No need to thank me.
I gotta say, if this is really
about saving an elephant,
eh, I'm in.
Plus, you know, you said
something about a million bucks.
- You're giving
him all your money?
- Well, not all of it, no.
Louie ate a bunch of it.
I think he thinks it's salad.
- I've never been more regular.
- I'll take almost any
amount at this point.
You know, my third wife
ran off with a penguin.
You know, he's a sharp
dresser, I must say,
but the whole split
has cost me a bundle!
Anyways, should we get the
autographs outta the way, huh?
- Thanks, mate.
- Can I touch your wattle?
- All right guys, come
on. Focus on the plan.
But could you sign one
more? It's to my nephew.
- Yeah, what's his name?
- My, his name, yeah. Hitpig.
- All right. What's the plan?
- We're winging it. Let's go!
- Time to kick butt!
- We're outta here!
- Let's cock-a-doodley-doo!
(engine revving)
- Ladies and gentlemen, prepare
to have your minds blown.
Blown like they have
never been blown before.
And now let the
mind blowing begin!
Hello, dance fans!
(audience cheering)
The Leapin' Lord welcomes you.
It's the moment I've
been waiting for.
(air whooshing)
(rock music)
- We're coming for you, Pickles!
(rock music)
(gate slamming)
- Is this part of the plan?
- Why would a theater
have steel doors?
- Well, mission
not accomplished.
(clock ticking)
- Countdown?
- [Leapin' Lord]
Our show launches in
less than four hours.
Soar to heights
never before soared.
A guaranteed blast.
It's going to rocket
me to stardom.
- Oh, no.
(clock ticking)
- Fasten your seatbelts!
(crowd gasping)
(suspenseful music)
This show is going to
be out of this world!
Ten!
(doors slamming)
Nine!
(crowd gasping)
Eight!
Seven!
Six!
- This isn't a
theater, it's a rocket.
- Say what?
- He's totally nuts! Run!
- Five, four, three, two, one.
(device beeping)
Blast off!
(suspenseful music)
(suspenseful music continues)
- They're all gonna die!
- Not on my watch.
- And how do we stop a rocket?
- [Artificial Voice]
Rocket systems engage.
- Why did I have to ask?
- [Hitpig] You
might wanna hold on.
(dramatic music)
(all yelling)
(crowd yelling)
- (laughs) This is great.
(ominous music)
- I need more power!
- On it!
This is why I get paid
the big bucks, baby.
(dramatic music)
Cock-a-doodley-doo!
(Leapin' Lord laughing)
- I'll soar! I'll fly!
I'll glide.
I'll float and swoop
and flit and whoosh.
I'll give gravity
what it's given me!
Contempt.
(rocket launching)
(Leapin' Lord yelling)
(dramatic music)
- [Artificial Voice]
Warning, critical power loss.
- We're losing them!
- The catch van's
boosters failed.
- Okay, okay!
Step aside, people.
It's my time to shine.
A tube, please.
Now hand me that chimichanga.
(stomach gurgling)
Fire in the hole!
(polecat farting)
(van speeding)
(triumphant music)
(rocket screeching)
(upbeat music)
- Oh, goody!
It's starting!
From the floors of Tokyo
- Back off, Fluffy.
This is my special moment.
The Leapin' Lord of the Leotard
and Pickles the Dancing Elephant
will be the greatest
show off Earth!
I'm dancing with myself
- Hit the gas!
- 10-4, good buddy.
(rocket launching)
Dancing with myself
Well, there's nothing to lose
and there's nothing to prove
When I'm dancing with myself
- It's showtime!
(crocodile snapping)
All over the world
And there's every
type of girl
But your empty eyes
seem to pass me by
- Oh, Pickles!
(crowd gasping)
It'll give me time to think
If I had the chance, I'd
ask the world to dance
Oh, oh
(Leapin' Lord exclaiming)
(crocodile snapping)
(Pickles gasping)
(upbeat music)
- [Hitpig] Almost there.
Just gimme a little squeak.
(Leapin' Lord laughing)
- Are you ready for
my destiny, Pickles?
I'm leaping!
(tense music)
(Pickles gasping)
(tense music)
- He came back for me.
- Catch me! (yelps)
(crowd gasping)
(Leapin' Lord growling)
(dogs yipping)
Get back here, Pickles!
Hitpig!
(tense music)
(device beeping)
- Now what?
- [Artificial Voice]
My sensors detect
their oxygen levels dropping
and I don't see a way
for them to return
to Earth on their own.
- Can we push 'em back?
- [Artificial Voice] Not
without smashing into Earth.
- We need a parachute. Grab
whatever fabric you can find.
Curtains, costumes,
even underwear.
- That ain't new
territory from me.
- Oh, how exciting.
- Feel like pulled pork
for dinner, Fluffy?
Then go get that pig.
- We need to divide and conquer.
Can you fly around the outside,
see how we might be able
to pull these people back?
- Can do!
- Ah-ah-ah-ah.
(Pickles yelling)
- I'll keep control
of the catch van.
- Okay guys, let's save Pickles
and everyone in that theater!
- Aye aye, Captain!
- Roger, roger.
- Over and out.
(air whooshing)
- [Hitpig] Really?
(dramatic music)
(crocodile growling)
- Hitpig! (yelps)
- Go help Pickles, now!
(Pickles gasping)
I've fought bigger lizards
than you in the Outback.
Come at me!
(crocodile snapping)
- You came back.
- I'm so sorry, Pickles.
I should have told
you the truth.
Can you forgive me?
- What are friends for?
- You're ruining
everything, Hitpig!
- I'm ruining everything? You're
going to get us all killed!
I'm actually trying
to unruin everything.
- I'm giving them the
greatest show off Earth!
(crowd cheering)
- Yeah, but you don't have a
way to bring 'em back to Earth!
(crowd gasping)
- Well, I can't
think of everything!
Do you know how hard it
was just to do all this?
(Leapin' Lord grunting)
- Ding ding!
In the left ring we have
the croc versus a koala.
Common sense says
koala's gonna die!
(crocodile snapping)
(hand slapping)
- Do you think this is
scripted or all improv?
- In the right ring, we
have a pig versus a lunatic!
(bell dinging)
(crowd cheering)
(tail slapping)
(koala grunting)
(Leapin' Lord grunting)
- Now even the lack
of gravity mocks me.
- Come at me, you
toothy turd! (grunts)
(bodies thudding)
- Watch out, Hitpig!
(crocodile growling)
- This is for Bertha!
Consider yourself hit.
Oh, no.
(body thudding)
(Leticia yelling)
(rooster yelping)
(Leapin' Lord yelling)
(Leapin' Lord yelling)
(crowd cheering)
- I never cut
corners on costumes.
The audience is applauding
my exit, Fluffy.
I can still hear
them. (chuckles)
(Louie yelling)
- Whoa!
- Pickles!
(Louie yelling)
(fabric snapping)
(Hitpig yelling)
- Right!
(fabric stretching)
- Like we're made
for each other.
- A perfect fit.
(gentle music)
(Pickles squeaking)
(gentle music)
(koala grunting)
(dramatic music)
- A super cock-a-doodley-doo!
I'm coming for you!
(dramatic music)
(koala grunting)
(fabric snapping)
(door closing)
(Hitpig groaning)
- Hi, Hitpig.
- How you doing, pig?
- (chuckles) And
I thought you just
played a superhero on TV.
- You really are one.
- Aw, shucks.
- (gasps) You're alive!
Oh, thank goodness!
(crowd cheering)
What do you say we get
everybody back to Earth now?
(crowd cheering)
- I need more horsepower!
- I need more chimichangas!
(polecat farting)
(jets firing)
(tense music)
- [Artificial Voice]
Approaching Earth's atmosphere.
(tense music)
(crowd shouting)
We're coming in too fast.
- Panties, jock straps,
boxers, just send them on over!
Come on!
- [Artificial Voice]
This is going to hurt.
(polecat grunting)
(jets sputtering)
(tense music)
(Pickles squealing)
(crowd yelling)
Warning, impact imminent.
Well, it was nice knowing you.
- Deploy the parachute.
(parachute whooshing)
(gentle music)
(air whooshing)
- Whoa.
(crowd gasping)
(crowd cheering)
(crowd cheering)
- [Audience Member] Can
I get my thong back?
(phone beeping)
- Well, I guess it's
time to all go home, huh?
- I'm heading to Australia if
you wanna ride with me, koala.
- Yeah, great. I'll
show you my digs.
Throw some eucalyptus
on the Barbie.
- I'm going to introduce polecat
to some Hollywood agents.
He's a star if
I've ever seen one.
(polecat laughing)
- Thank you.
- Oh, I'm staying here.
We're in Vegas, baby!
And I got me a date!
Well, everyone
loves my hard body.
(all laughing)
- You sure you
want these poodles?
- If they want me.
(dogs barking)
- Pickles, may I take
you home to India?
- Yes. Yes, you may.
(uplifting music)
(gentle music)
(gentle music continues)
(gentle music continues)
(festive music)
- Frittata!
- Omelet coming up!
(child speaking
foreign language)
- (speaks foreign
language) Of course.
(child speaking
foreign language)
- Oh, we got a wise guy here.
Hey, look kid, no
bacon ever. Capiche?
- Ciao, Hitpig.
- Surprise!
So, how you doing?
- Living the dream. (chuckles)
How was India?
- Beautiful. But I couldn't
find a family there
quite like our friends.
- Yeah. Yeah, I guess friends
are the family we choose.
- So what's it like
living the omelet dream?
Is it all it's cracked up to be?
- Yeah, you know,
it pays the bills
for an even bigger dream.
- Really?
- Yeah.
- See, on weekends we
do some volunteer work.
- We?
(horn honking)
(rock music)
How was Indiana?
- Hey, everyone, hi!
You got room for one
more on that thing?
- You bet we do.
Lower the tub!
- I love a family outing.
Born to be wild
- So if you're a kitty
who's left the city
or a moose on the loose or a
cow that said ciao, call us.
Your happiness is our reward.
Born to be wild
- Ooh, I'm feeling a
little bit toasty here.
How about you, Fluffy?
Son of a sun!
And scene.
(sun sizzling)
Born to be wild
Born to be wild
Get your motor running
Head out on the highway
Looking for adventure
And whatever comes our way
Yeah, gotta go
and make it happen
Take the world
in a love embrace
Fire all your
guns at once and
Explode into space
I like smoke and lightning
Heavy metal thunder
Racing with the wind
And the feeling
that I'm under
Yeah, darling,
gonna make it happen
Take the world
in a love embrace
Fire all of your
guns at once and
Explode into space
Like a true nature's child
We were born,
born to be wild
We can climb so high
And never wanna die
Born to be wild
Born to be wild
Get your motor running
Head out on the highway
Looking for adventure
And whatever comes our way
Yeah, darling,
gonna make it happen
Take the world
in a love embrace
Fire all your
guns at once and
Explode into space
Born to be wild
Born to be wild
Born to be wild
Born to be wild
(upbeat music)
- [Dancer] As queen of
the elephants, it is I
who wears the pants,
so as your queen,
I command you all to dance.
(upbeat music)
(upbeat music continues)
(upbeat music continues)
(tense music)
(tense music continues)
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(gentle music)
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(gentle music continues)
(gentle music continues)
(uplifting music)
(uplifting music continues)
(uplifting music continues)
(uplifting music continues)
(uplifting music continues)
(gentle music)
(gentle music continues)
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(tense music)
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