Huckleberry Finn (1974) Movie Script
1
BIRDS CHIRPING)
(BABY CRYING)
(COOING)
Life is a wink of time
Heaven's a lonely climb
The road is so dark and long
Paved with all
kinds of wrong
And freedom, freedom
Freedom
Man's got to make his own
Sun warms the earth below
Earth drinks the winter snow
Seas feed the winds
That blow
Rain makes the grain
To grow
And freedom, freedom
Freedom
Man's got to make his own
We're all born to
live with love to give
Free in the heart and mind
We're all born to be
With a soul that's free
Man made the chains
that bind
Freedom
Talking about freedom
Freedom
Man's got to make his own
God made the sun to rise
And God made
the earth and skies
God made the seas and plains
God made the winds and rains
And freedom
Freedom
Freedom
Man's got to make his own
Freedom, freedom
Freedom
Man's got to make his own
Freedom
Freedom
Man's got to make
His own
Huck, oh, ho,
Huckleberry, Huck
Say, hey, say,
Huckleberry, Huck, oh, ho
Huckleberry,
say Huckleberry Finn
Huckleberry Finn,
say Huckleberry,
Huckleberry Finn
To the possum,
you're the next of kin
Hey, Huckleberry,
Huckleberry Finn
Boss is gonna get you,
gonna fetch you home
Say, Huck, hey, gonna bet
you're somewhere off alone
You all seen Huckleberry?
No, Jim.
Hey, Huckleberry,
Huckleberry Finn,
Huckleberry where you be?
Huck, oh, Huck,
Huckleberry, where you be?
Huckleberry, where you be?
Huckleberry, where you be?
Marybelle,
have you seen Huckleberry?
No, not around here,
I haven't.
All right. Thank you.
Sun a setting in
the same old place
Moon about to climb the sky
You're a wasting
all my time a chasing
'Cause your supper
is about to fry
Mr. Tompkins, has Huck Finn
been in here today?
No, he hasn't.
Well, I best go on
down to the river then.
Thank you.
Huck, oh, ho,
Huckleberry, Huck
Oh, ho Huckleberry,
Huck, say, hey
Hey, Huckleberry
Huck, oh, ho
Huckleberry,
hey, Huckleberry Finn
Folks are cozyin'
to home about now
That's where
they're supposed to be
But you're out moseyin',
so I been chosen
To fetch you
back to home with me
Huckleberry, where you be?
Huck, oh, Huck
Huckleberry, where you be?
Huckleberry, where you be?
Huckleberry, where you be?
(LAUGHING)
Jim. Oh, I knew it
wasn't no catfish.
That tug was
more like a whale.
You got to get home quick.
The ladies is waitin'
supper on you now.
Well, I know you don't
want no more punishment,
now, do you, Huckleberry?
Oh, heck, no.
All right then, let's go.
And Mr. Dobbins said all
you have to do is learn
to apply yourself better.
He said you have good
natural intelligence,
and you learn very fast.
He could be the
head of the class.
If he'd only try!
I'd like to see him the head
of the Sunday school class.
In fact, I'd just
like to see him in his
Sunday school class!
Just what was your
lesson for next Sunday?
Mmm, Moses and
the bull rushers.
Huckleberry dear,
my sister and I
are only concerned
about your future.
Judge Thatcher put
that buried treasure money
you found into a trust.
When you come of age, you're
going to be a young gentleman
of considerable means.
You don't have to end
up like your father.
A derelict, with his body
floating down the river.
Sometimes, I get
the feeling that
Pap ain't dead.
That body they found floatin'
was floatin' face up.
And everybody knows
that a dead man
floats face down.
Leastwise, that's
the feelin' I get.
Better get upstairs
and do your studyin'
now, Huckleberry.
Yes, ma'am.
And it wouldn't hurt to take
another look at that chapter
on Moses in the Bullrushes.
Yes, ma'am.
I'm getting more concerned
about that boy every day.
Oh, Sister, you worry,
too much.
You think you're a good
deal of a big bug, don't you?
Pap, you ain't dead!
(GROANS)
You've put on considerable
frills since I been away.
You can read and write.
Who told you, you might meddle
with such highfalutin
foolishness, huh?
The widder.
The widder, eh?
Who told the widder she could
put in her shovel of a thing
that ain't none of
her business?
Nobody, Pap.
I'll learn people
to bring up a boy
to put on airs
over his own father.
Let on to be better
than what he is.
They say you're rich, eh?
How's that?
Well, I found some money, Pap.
They put it in a trust till...
Liar!
Mr. Finn!
What are you doing?
What do you want?
What I'm doing is learnin'
my son not to lie!
And what I want is
what's rightfully mine!
The money he's lyin' about!
Come on!
Huckleberry has no money.
None he can put
his hands on.
All I know is I want
a thousand dollars.
Now if you ever want
to see this kid again,
you will have it to me
in two days. Come on!
We are poor women, where
would we get that much money?
Oh, you're a poor
woman, ain't you?
With a big, healthy slave
down there who'll fetch
a fine piece of money
from the slave traders.
MR. FINN: Come on!
WIDDER: Please, Mr. Finn!
Mr. Finn, please let
me talk to you.
Mr. Finn, please. Please.
Don't take him away
from me, Mr. Finn!
Two days! You have
the money here.
I'll be back!
Honey.
Jim?
I gotta go.
Jim, what are you...
I gotta go now.
I gotta get away from here.
Got to go?
What did you do, Jim?
I ain't done nothin',
but they're gonna sell me
to the slave traders.
Not Miss Watson.
She can't help it.
Huck's pappy came
and took him away.
Well then, and the ladies,
they need the money
to buy Huck back.
Jim, you know what
they do to runaway slaves.
They catch you,
they whip you,
they truss you up
like a hog!
But if they sell me,
then I may as well be dead.
'Cause I won't never
see you no more.
But where will you go?
Where will you hide?
I'm gonna try to make
it to the free states.
To, well, to Cairo, Illinois.
That's, that's the
closest place.
Cairo? Well, that must
be 1,000 miles from here.
Someday, there ain't gonna
be no more goodbyes.
Someday, honey, darlin'
Won't be tears in your eyes
And someday
we'll be standing
With our heads held up high
Smilin' and a laughin'
Just for no reason why
I see it plain that somehow,
I don't know now
But I know we'll be fine
Trust me, oh,
honey, trust me
'Cause I've seen me a sign
That someday, honey, darlin'
Don't know how long it be
Honey, darlin'
Honey, darlin'
You must remember this
Though I'm going far away
It's gonna be all
sunshine and singin'
Someday
I can't explain,
but somehow
I don't know now
But I know we'll be fine
You, me and the baby
Oh, I've seen me that sign
That someday, honey, darlin'
Don't know how long it be
Honey, darlin'
Honey, darlin'
You belong just to me
MR. FINN: Help me!
Help me! Let me out!
Let me out!
Pap, Pap, wake up!
Pap, you was having
another one of your fits.
Ah, it ain't fair.
You sleep sound while I got
the demons chasing me.
Like I won't get no
sleep till I'm dead!
Get yourself down
to the lines, see if
we got any breakfast.
What's taking you so long?
Hurry up.
We got any fish?
Yeah, Pa!
I fell in, Pap.
(LAUGHING)
It ain't so bad, us
being together again,
is it, Pap?
Just don't get too
comfortable about it.
Soon as I get the money,
I don't care if you
go straight to hell.
You've been bad luck for me
since the day you was born.
You killed your mother gettin'
born, you know that!
I'm goin' across
to Hannibal now
and your two sweet old ladies
better have my $1,000.
My son comes into money,
I'll tell you what I see
Two gospel spouting biddies
is stealin' it from me
I never got a tumble,
I never got a break
But now my luck a changing,
I'll get all I can take
Rotten luck,
filthy rotten luck
The only kind of
luck I ever had
Rotten luck,
stinkin' rotten luck
But now, at last, my luck
Ha, it ain't so bad
(BANGING)
(GRUNTS)
(PIG GRUNTING)
They're all liars!
Runaway slave!
Like hell he run away!
(THUNDER RUMBLING)
Huckleberry!
Murder!
Murder!
Thieving murderers!
(SCREAMS)
Huck, Huck.
Huck, can you hear me?
Huck?
(LAUGHS)
Here sit up.
Take it easy now.
(GRUNTS)
There you are.
Now rest easy, right there.
Oh!
Take it easy.
Here drink this.
Oh, I gave you up for dead
almost two days ago.
What happened, Jim?
Snakebite.
Only thing to do is
cut a hex, suck out
the poison and pray.
What's this?
That's a hex.
Now I ain't superstitious
or nothing,
but with a friend's life,
you don't wanna take
too many chances.
Gosh, Jim, thanks
for saving my life.
Well, don't thank me,
you best thank that hex.
(BOTH LAUGH)
They been comin' past
this island, every day,
shooting off them cannons,
tryin' to raise your body.
I heard 'em talkin'
from the boats, Huck.
You supposed
to be murdered.
Well, you see, I had
to get away from Pap,
so I broke out and I
killed me this wild pig,
then I bloodied up
the place real smart.
(GIGGLES)
Boy, they tell me it
real bad luck makin'
out like you're dead.
How'd you come
to get here, Jim?
I ran away, Huck.
You ran away?
Well, now you know and now
they your troubles, too.
So I figured I die showin'
nothin' they sell me
down in New Orleans
to them slave traders.
So I come here and I'm
just about finished building
me this raft with a
wigwam on it,
and nice dry sand
on the floor.
Well, anywhere
you land, they gonna
pick you up for runaway.
Don't you know that?
Not if I make it to the
free states, they ain't.
Free states?
That's pretty far.
Cairo, Illinois.
We gonna chadugga,
dugga on down to the
river to the free states.
Chadugga dugga, doo dah,
do chadugga, dugga
Doo, dah, do dah,
do, gotta get away
to Cayroe, ayeroe
Gotta get away
to Cayroe, ayeroe
Down the river a
thousand miles, that's where
we're gonna live in style
In Cayroe,
ayeroe, Illinois
In Cayroe, ayeroe, Illinois.
Dah, do, chadugga,
dugga, do
do, dah, do, dah, do
Gonna get a store
in Cayroe, ayeroe
Gonna build a house
Where?
In Cayroe, ayeroe
Gonna get a store
and sell dry goods and build
my house in the piney woods
In Cayroe, ayeroe
Illinois?
That's it! You got it!
In Cayroe, ayeroe, Illinois
Illinois
Do, dah, chadugga, dugga
Do, dah, do, dah, do
Gonna catch a boat
from Cayroe, ayeroe
Down to New Orleans
from Cayroe, ayeroe
What you know
about New Orleans?
Gonna ship on
out from New Orleans
Sail to the land
of the coffee beans
From Cayroe,
ayeroe, Illinois
From Cayroe, ayeroe,
Illinois
Gotta get away
To Cayroe, ayeroe,
gotta get away
To Cayroe, ayeroe
Down the river a thousand
miles, that's where we're
gonna live in style
In Cayroe, ayeroe, Illinois
In Cayroe, ayeroe, Illinois
Da chadugga, dugga,
do, dah, do, dah, do
Gonna get rich
in Cayroe, ayeroe
Rich as an Egyptian
pharaoh, ayeroe
Gonna buy my child
Buy my wife
And we're gonna live
that rich free life
In Cayroe, ayeroe, Illinois
In Cayroe, ayeroe
Illinois
Dah, do, chadugga,
dugga, do dah, do
Chadugga, dugga do,
dah, do
Dah, do
Jim, look.
Hey, looks like a
wrecked house boat.
Looks like she hasn't
been aground too long.
You know, Huck,
we just may be in luck.
JIM: I'll see
what we can find.
(LAUGHS)
Oh, we gonna
feast fancy tonight.
Pap!
Find anything?
There ain't nothin'
in there, but a dead man.
It ain't nothin' but
a house of death.
Let's get out of here.
Goshen should be over there.
Huck, we're lost.
Well, let's head for
that cove over there.
I'll find out where we are.
(KNOCK AT DOOR)
MRS. LOFTUS: Who is it?
HUCKLEBERRY:
(IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE)
Just me, ma'am.
Well, "who's just me?"
Sara Williams, ma'am.
Well, whereabouts you live?
In this neighborhood?
In Bookerville.
I've walked all the way
and I'm all tired out.
Hungry, too, I reckon.
I'll fetch you
something to eat.
Come in. Take a chair.
Thank you, ma'am,
but I ain't hungry.
You see, my mother's
down sick and out of
money and everything.
And, well, I come
to visit my uncle
and, well, I never been
here in Goshen before.
Goshen? This ain't Goshen,
child, this is St. Petersburg.
St. Petersburg?
Goshen's 30 miles
up the river.
Who told you
this was Goshen?
Why, a man I met
this mornin'.
Well, he was drunk,
I reckon.
And, you poor thing,
walkin' around with a
murderin' runaway slave
hidin' out in these parts.
A murderin' slave?
Killed a lad named Huck Finn.
Near Hannibal.
It's an $800
reward on his head.
What did you say
your name was, honey?
Mary Williams.
I thought you said it was Sara
when you first come in.
Uh, yes, ma'am, I did.
It's Sara Mary Williams.
Oh, that's the
way it is, is it?
Yes, ma'am.
Maybe you'll find a
bigger needle in there.
What your real name?
Is it Tom, Dick, Bob?
What is it?
Please don't poke fun
at a poor girl like me.
If I'm in your way I'll...
Just sit right down there.
You're a runaway
apprentice, ain't you?
Well, ma'am...
Yes, ma'am.
I won't tell on you,
don't worry.
Now tell me all about it.
My mother and father's dead
and the law, well, they
bound me out to this mean
old farmer in the country.
And so I stole some of
his daughter's old
clothes and cleared out.
When a cow's laying
down, which end
of her gets up first?
Hind end, ma'am.
Well, then a horse?
Forward end, ma'am.
If 15 cows is browsing
on a hillside,
how many of them eats facing
in the same direction?
Well, the whole 15, ma'am.
Well, I reckon you have
lived in the country.
I thought you was trying
to hocus me again.
No, ma'am.
Tell me what's
your real name?
George Peters, ma'am.
Well, try to
remember it, George.
Yes, ma'am.
You do a girl tolerable poor.
Trot along to your uncle,
Sarah Mary Williams
George Peters.
You'll fetch Goshen by
going through town and
following the river up.
Yes, ma'am. Thank you.
Mind you, boy,
go through town.
Whatever you do, don't cut
through that plantation.
No, ma'am.
Good night, ma'am.
(DOGS BARKING)
(HORSES APPROACHING)
Be done, boys, hush!
Who be you?
George Jackson, sir.
Stand up, boy.
What you doin' prowlin'
around here this time
of the night for?
I'm lost. Fell overboard
off the steamboat.
Jason.
Now look here,
you're tellin' the truth,
you needn't be afraid.
Nobody's gonna hurt you.
His clothes are dry, Pa.
How come your clothes are dry,
George Jackson?
Well, I fell off
this afternoon.
George Jackson, are you
kin to the Shepherdsons?
No, sir.
Do you know
the Shepherdson's?
No, sir,
I never heard of 'em.
Mr. Jackson, I'm Colonel
Saul Grangerford,
and these are my sons.
It would be my distinct
pleasure to have you
as our guest here
at Grangerford.
Give me your arm, boy!
(MARSHALING)
(DOGS BARKING)
(KNOCK AT DOOR)
Come in.
Mr. Jackson, sir?
My name is Buck.
And whiles you're here
at Grangerford Manor,
I will be your personal
manservant and valet.
Well, would you mind
fetching me out of this
here contraption?
You see, I usually does my
body washing in the river.
Here at Grangerford Manor,
there are only
gentle folks and they do
all their body washin'
inside the house.
What's this?
This is your nightcap, sir.
All gentle folks wear this.
Night, Mr. Jackson.
Good night.
(DOOR CLOSING)
Jim.
Mornin', family.
ALL: Good mornin', Papa.
Sleep well, Mr. Jackson?
Oh, yes, thank you, sir.
But, if it's all
right with you,
I'd like to leave
after breakfast.
(ALL LAUGHING)
Don't worry, boy,
we won't let you
outstay your welcome.
(ALL LAUGHING)
Mr. Jackson, you look
like a bright young man.
Well, thank you, sir.
Tell me, Mr. Jackson,
where was Moses when
the candle went out?
Well, I don't know.
I never heard of it before.
Was he in the bull rushers?
Well, guess.
How can I guess if I
never heard of it before?
Well, you can guess,
can't you?
It's just as easy.
Which candle?
COLONEL: Any candle.
I don't know where he was.
Where was he?
Why he was in the dark,
that's where he was.
(ALL LAUGH)
Miss Charlotte.
Thank you, Mitzi.
EMMELINE: I have just
composed my finest poem.
All about a boy by the name
of Stephen Dowling Botts,
that fell down a well
and was drownded.
Drownded?
Would you like me
to read my poem?
HUCKLEBERRY: I'd be mighty
obliged, Miss Emmeline.
Ode to Stephen
Dowling Botts, deceased.
And did young
Stephen sicken?
And did young Stephen die?
And did the sad
hearts thicken?
And did the mourners cry?
No, such was not the
fate of young Stephen
Dowling Botts.
His soul did from
this cold world fly.
By fallin' down a well.
Mighty inspirational,
Miss Emmeline.
Mighty inspirational.
(CRYING)
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
I'm so worried about
Charlotte, so worried.
Don't fuss, Rachel
honey, don't fuss.
Clive, I must apologize
for Charlotte.
I came all the way
from New Hope.
I know and I'm most sorry.
Just a few friends and
relations, Mr. Jackson.
Handsome tradition,
don't you think?
Oh, yes, sir.
Drink up, Mr. Jackson.
Good Grangerford punch.
Saul, you don't seem to
understand, I haven't seen
hide nor hair of our Charlotte
since early afternoon
and she knows cousin
Clive's come all the way
from New Hope to see her.
I sent Jason into town to
find her. Don't fret, Rachel,
honey, she'll be along.
My daughters prepared a
little entertainment for you.
So you all gather around.
I found a rose in a Bible
Who knows the story it told
Pressed there
with joy or with a tear
It was just a forgotten
Souvenir
Is our love
A rose in a Bible
A bud that will
lose its perfume
Please tell me no
Say that our love will grow
Like the flower
Forever in bloom
Now would all you gentlemen
and ladies join us?
I found a rose in a Bible
Who knows
the story it told
Pressed there with joy
or with a tear
Mr. Jackson, sir.
Thank you.
Aren't you going
to ask me for a
dance, Mr. Jackson?
Ma'am, I don't rightly know.
Is our love a
rose in a Bible
A bud that will
lose its perfume
Perfume
Please tell me no
Say that our love with grow
Like a flower
Forever in...
Pa! She run off!
Charlotte, she run off!
My own sister!
She run off and eloped
with Harvey Shepherdson!
Horses! Weapons!
We're gonna kill us some
Shepherdsons tonight!
(ALL CHEERING)
No need for horses, Pa.
The Shepherdsons are
surrounding the place now.
(ALL GASPING)
Put out the candles!
All women and children
into the wine cellar.
(CLAMORING)
Buck! Buck!
Buck! He's my gun bearer,
my loader!
(WOMEN SCREAMING)
Mr. Jackson, I think you're
man enough to watch me kill
some of those Shepherdsons.
I think you're gonna enjoy it.
Thank you, Buck.
Stay with me.
Snuff out the lights.
Polluters! Defilers of
our Shepherdson blood!
Tonight we spill
Grangerford blood!
It's a matter of honor!
Bulls eye!
(GUNS FIRING)
A feud is a funny thing,
Mr. Jackson.
A man has a quarrel
with another man
and he kills him.
Then that other
man's brother.
He kills him.
Then the other brothers
on both sides,
they go for one another.
Then the cousins chip in.
Will you be so kind as
to rip down that drape
and stamp out the fire?
I'd be ever so grateful,
to you, Mr. Jackson.
Buck! Give me my pistol!
Williams!
Bring me some punch.
(GLASS SHATTERS)
Take your coat off,
Mr. Jackson, you're
into action now.
Thank you, Buck.
How long has this feud
been goin' on, Colonel?
Oh, 60 years or
somewhere about that.
What was the trouble about?
I don't rightly know.
It was about some
land or something.
Who done the shootin'?
Was it Grangerford
or was it Shepherdson?
MAN: Good shot, Harry.
That, Mr. Jackson, is
entirely beside the point.
It has now become
a matter of honor.
(GUN FIRES)
(GUNFIRE CONTINUES)
Come with me,
Mr. Jackson,
come with me.
Come on, Mr. Jackson,
now's your chance.
River's down there.
If I was you, Mr. Jackson,
I'd get myself far away from
these here gentle folks.
Thank you, Buck.
I'm much obliged to you.
(GUN FIRES)
Mr. Jackson!
Mr. Jackson, sir.
Mr. Jackson, sir.
Oh, Mr. Jackson.
(LAUGHING)
I was only playin' possum.
Goodbye, Buck.
Goodbye.
HUCKLEBERRY: Jim!
Jim!
Huckleberry, is that you?
Huckleberry!
Jim!
Huckleberry!
I never been
happier to see somebody
in my whole life!
Thank God you're all right.
I heard them shots and I
thought they'd killed you.
What did they
do to you? Nothin'.
Let's not lose any time.
Let's shove off for the big
water as fast as we can!
That must have been
Goshen back there.
We come 30 miles, Jim.
Yep.
You know, there ain't
no home like a raft.
Other places seem so
cramped up and smothery.
A raft doesn't.
You feel mighty free and easy
and comfortable on a raft.
There's only one
thing bothers me
and that's folks thinking
I murdered you.
My being called a runaway,
that don't bother me at all.
But I don't wanna be
called no murderer.
Well, you know I can't show
my face back to Hannibal.
And tell folks
I haven't been murdered.
They'd send me back
to Pap for sure.
The way I see it,
we just gotta stick
together now.
I'm your only evidence.
Turn it in this here cove.
Yes, sir.
I can't wait till
we get to Cairo.
(SIGHS)
I'm gonna catch me
one of them big boats
and gonna ship out as a
cabin boy to South America.
And then I'm gonna start
my own coffee plantation.
There's lots of money
in coffee beans,
but me, I'm gonna
stay in dry goods.
What the matter, Jim?
Slave hunters.
(GUNSHOTS)
MAN: Who's that yonder?
It's just a raft, sir.
MAN: Any men on it?
Uh, just one and me!
Huck!
Hush up, Jim.
Well, there's five niggers
run off tonight up yonder,
above the head of the bend.
Your man white or black?
He's white, sir.
I reckon we'll see
for ourselves.
Catch this here line.
Pap and me is much
obliged to you.
I can tell you, everybody
scoots off when
I want 'em to tow this
blamed raft ashore.
Well, that's infernal
mean. Odd, too.
Say, boy, what's the
matter with your father?
Well, it ain't
anything much.
Boy, you're hidin' somethin'.
What is the matter
with your pap?
Well, please, just
tow us to shore.
You won't have to
get near the raft.
Your pap's got
the small pox.
And you know it
precious well.
Drop that line, boy!
Confound it, I just bet the
wind's done blowed it to us!
Why didn't you come
out and say so? You wanna
spread it all over?
Well, everybody else I told,
run off and left us.
MAN: Poor devil.
We're downright sorry
for you,
but, well, hang it, we don't
wanna get the small
pox, don't you see?
Let's get out of here!
Goodbye, boy. Good luck.
If you see any runaway
niggers, you get
help and nab them.
You can make some
good money by it!
Thank you, sir. I won't
let any runaway get by
me if I can help it.
I ain't no damn abolitionist!
Jim! Jim.
Huck, Huck, here I am.
(COUGHING)
Are they out of sight yet?
Yeah.
I'm gonna roast in hell
forever for all the
lies I told for you.
You didn't have to
get in the water.
Well, I didn't wanna
take no chances.
(LAUGHS)
You sure had them scared.
Yeah.
Well, we best spend
the night on the shore.
Come on.
MAN: Come on, get
them off the boat!
We'll have none of
that kind of thing
around here!
Get them off the boat!
Right now!
You take your hands off me!
Get off my ship!
Do you have any idea...
We'll have none of that!
Throw that riffraff...
Hey, take the scalawags off!
Now look here,
you'll hear from my...
Card sharks!
River hustlers!
First you fleece
my passengers, but
that ain't enough.
Then you start takin'
my whole crew!
Do you know, sir, to
whom you are speaking?
Tell him, Bilgewater!
I'll have you know, sir,
that we are men of title!
The blood of kings flows
through our veins!
Your rash, unfounded
accusations can only be looked
upon with contempt, sir!
Throw off their luggage!
Bring it up!
Oh!
You, you go find my hatbox!
Hurry you lackeys.
Well, throw it, you idiot!
That should be done with it.
Raise it up.
I hope that our undeserved
fate will haunt
you forever, sir!
You are obviously the...
(SHIP HORN BLOWING)
I told you we shouldn't
have pulled the
Cincinnati double shuffle
on the first night.
It wasn't our performance,
dear boy,
it was their pitiful
lack of imagination.
Well, what are
we gonna do next?
Not what are we gonna do,
it is whom are we gonna do.
Now, don't look now,
but the next recipients
of our estimable companionship
are at this very moment
coming to our rescue.
Ahoy, ahoy, there!
Oh, alas. Oh, woe.
(CRYING)
Cry you idiot.
(BOTH CRYING)
Well, why are you gawking?
Mocking us in our hour
of degradation?
Be gone with you!
Be gone, I say!
Do you need any help?
Help. What help can
you give us when fate
has fetched us so low,
when we were once so high!
Let the cruel world
do its worst, but there
one thing we know,
there's a grave
somewhere for us.
Yes.
The world will always go on
as it always has, and take
everything from us.
Money, property, loved
ones, everything!
But it can't take that.
Then one day we'll lay
our poor, broken hearts
down in that grave
and rest in silence.
(SOBBING)
Well, what are you
heaving your poor, broken
hearts at us for?
We're not blaming you.
It's the world that's
brought us down.
Where was you
brought down from?
Oh, you wouldn't believe us.
The world never believes
the secrets of our birth.
'Tis no matter. Let it pass.
Let it pass.
Secrets of your birth?
Wait a minute, you have
a sympathetic face,
perhaps you would believe us.
My great grandmater
on my pater's side
Became a baroness
then great grandpater died
When later great grandmater
again became a bride
She wed a duke
so the royal strain
Was doubled
when she wed again
Their son, my.grand-pere
Became the rightful heir
but lost his lofty title
In a dubious game
of chemin de fer
What a sad demise
for the true dauphin
My daddy was
Louis the 17
Thus I, but for a
tragic happenstance
I'm His Majesty
the King of France
The King of France?
You're looking at
Royalty
Royalty
Fouled and foiled,
slightly soiled
But royalty
Born to reign
all in vain
Fate was cruel,
we should be
ruling royalty
Tell 'em about
yourself Bilgey!
Oh, well, I...
Never mind.
The Duke of Bilgewater
a hundred years gone by
Braved the broad Atlantic
to give the colonies a try
My grandfather's life
was hard and brief
My mother stole matches
and died of grief
Thus here,
but for a cruel historic fluke
Is Lord Bilgewater
A full fledged Duke
You're lookin' at
Royalty
Royalty fouled and foiled
Slightly soiled
but royalty
Born to reign
all in vain
Fate was cruel,
we should be ruling royalty
Well, can't we at least fetch
you down to the next town?
Oh, no, no, we couldn't
think of encroaching
on your hospitality.
But since you insist,
have your man servant tote
our belongings aboard
and let's get out of here.
Come on, Jim.
What should I call you?
Your Grace, My Lord
or Your Lordship?
Well, we're traveling
incognito, you understand?
You simply call me King.
Call him Bilgewater!
Will you put that there,
my good man?
You're looking
at royalty, royalty
Lost our throne
to rolling stones
but royalty
Unlike you our blood is blue
Fate was cruel,
we should be ruling royalty
Shove off, shove off!
You're lookin' at royalty,
you're lookin' at royalty
Fouled and foiled,
slightly soiled
but royalty
Worn and torn but
To the manor born
Fate was cruel,
we should be rulin'
Royalty
Lower your eyes
and bend your knee
You Jackanapes
are gapin' at Royalty
I was up all night,
think I'll take a few
winks of sleep.
Tell me, Jim,
you're a runaway slave,
aren't you?
Who? Me? No, sir,
now I ain't no runaway.
I mean you no harm, Jim.
It just seems mighty
strange for a young
boy and a healthy black
like yourself shifting free
and easy here on this raft.
Headin' down river.
Headin' straight for Cairo.
Which as any simple-minded
fool knows
exactly where a runaway
slave would just
naturally gravitate.
JIM: Well, uh...
Oh, he ain't no runaway.
You see, King,
my folks was livin' in
Pike County in Missouri.
That's where I was born.
And they all died off
except for me and Pap
and my brother Ike
and our freeborn
manservant here, Jim.
That's right.
He tellin' it right.
Oh, I know he is and he's
doing a wonderful job.
Isn't he though?
Yeah, well, continue, uh...
What did you say
your name was?
Jackson. George Jackson.
Well, we ran into a
piece of bad luck a
couple of nights ago.
Steamboat ran over the
forward end of our raft,
we all fell overboard
underneath the wheel.
Jim and me come up
all right, but,
well, Pap was drunk
and, well, Ike was only
four years old.
Lord rest their souls.
(YAWNING)
That was a really
very touching story,
but I've had a tryin' morning.
Think I'm gonna join my friend
in the arms of Morpheus.
Move your feet, Bilgey,
move your feet.
What?
I've had better
accommodations than this.
Do you think he believed us?
(SHUSHING)
But did you believe him?
I mean about them
being royalty and all?
Well, not all of it.
Well, as long as
he believes that
we believe that stretcher
he told us, I figure
he'll go along with ours.
Besides, like Miss Watson
used to say, "Them two might
"just be a blessing
in disguise."
And once he gets you into
his clutches, my friends,
the demon rum will rot you,
through and through!
Rot your body, rot your brain,
rot your immortal soul.
Oh, it was spellbinding,
I tell you. I was the pet
of the womenfolk.
Big and little.
'Cause we was makin' it mighty
warm for those rummies.
We were takin' in a fortune.
Then somehow or other
a little report got out that
we was puttin' in time
with the jug on the sly.
They run us out of
town so quick...
Quiet, quiet, quiet,
quiet, quiet, quiet.
Then we took to
sellin' an article to take
the tartar off the teeth,
and it does, too.
And generally the
enamel along with it.
We got outta there just
ahead of the lynch mob.
Enough, they were
a pack of ingrates!
Oh, boy, put
mine over there.
May I make a suggestion,
gentlemen?
If I was to make believe
to be your slave,
why, folks would never
question two gentlemen
of obvious quality,
such as yourselves.
Why you'd appear to be,
the owners of a valuable
piece of property
namely me.
And that way we could
all travel together safely.
Brilliant. Brilliant!
But it needs something!
Let me think.
I've got it!
You two wanna make it
safely to Cairo, right?
Yes, sir!
Well, it wouldn't
hurt to have a little
jingle in your pockets
when you get there, would it?
(LAUGHS)
You are now members
of the Royal Shakespeare
Touring Company.
Good thinking, King.
Bilgey, I want you to make
me up some new posters
and tickets. Lots of tickets.
For two nights only,
David Garrick the Younger
and Edmund Keene the Elder,
direct from London in
their celebrated performance
of The Royal None Such!
(LAUGHS)
The play's the thing, boys.
KING: My dear citizens of
this fair, charming,
quaint city of Clairville.
Trusting you all know
your own names,
let me tell you mine.
I am David Garrick
the Younger
of the Royal Haymarket
Theater, White Chapel,
Piccadilly, Pudding Lane,
London!
Now star and managing
director of the
Royal Shakespeare
Touring Company. Ta-da!
And now, let me introduce
you to the members of
my illustrious troupe.
First of all, Mr. Edmund Keene
the Elder of the Drury
Lane Theater, London.
Right there.
Yes. And now,
my young ward Percival
Hepplewhite the Third,
known throughout
Europe as the boy genius
of Stratford-upon-Avon.
Right there.
Thank you for your
passionate response, sir.
And now,
last but not least, perhaps
the world most brilliant
interpreter of
Shakespeare's immortal
character, Caliban,
the former king of
Hugga mugga,
King Goonawonga!
Right there.
(CROWD MURMURING)
Assisted by the strength
of my entire troupe,
with new appointments,
new scenery, new props,
for just two nights only,
because of imperative
European engagements
we will present
the thrilling,
spine tingling, inspiring
epic from the pen
of the Bard himself,
The Royal None Such!
Unfortunately,
however, there...
Unfortunately, however,
women and children
will not be admitted
to either performance.
Under any circumstances.
(CHATTERING)
There must be at least a
hundred people in there.
More like 163
including standing room.
Can hardly wait to
see the show myself.
Me neither.
Full house,
full house. Listen...
You two run along down
to the raft with Bilgewater.
What? Don't we get
to see the show?
His Majesty don't like
nobody watchin' from
the wings. Come on.
But, but...
Get out of here.
Why, Tom, you're too young.
Who let you in?
I let myself in.
Well, let yourself out!
Hey, put me down!
(SHUSHING)
(PEOPLE APPLAUDING)
(CHEERING)
Bless you. Gentlemen
and gentlemen.
(LAUGHING)
The Royal Shakespeare
Touring Company is proud to
present tonight for your
pleasure.
(LAUGHING)
The least known,
yet for his greatest work
of the Bard of Avon.
(CHEERING)
The Royal None Such.
Also known as
The Tragedy of the
King's Camel Leopard.
Prepare for
Rolling heads,
blood that sheds
Right before your eyes
Revenge and hate,
the mell of fate
When everybody dies
And who does so much more
than lust and gore
(LAUGHS) Laughter.
(CRYING) Tears.
And skin.
The Royal None Such
Has come to town,
so let the play
Before we raise the curtain
on this epic tour de force
Certain pertinent
facts I must convey
This manuscript lay
static in a corner of
Shakespeare's attic
Till I by chance
Discovered it
Dramatically uncovered it
It was a cold and rainy night.
I happened to be a house guest
at the ancestral cottage
of my dear friend,
Shakespeare.
(YAWNS)
Alas, sleep would not come.
So I spent the night
scuffling about
midst the boxes and
the barrels aloft.
When moment of moments.
I stumbled upon this discarded
bundle of parchment.
Breathlessly I blew
away 247 years
of dust.
(COUGHS)
(AUDIENCE LAUGHS)
Lo, there it was.
In the Bard's own hand.
The Royal None Such.
A new tragedy by
William Shakespeare.
Oh, ho
There so much more
than love and war
In this great
Shakespeareance
The Royal Nonesuch
has come to town
The Royal None Such
of much renown
The Royal None Such
Won't let you down
So let the play
Commence
Come on, come on, come on.
Can't we at least go back and
take a look? He'd never know.
It was a triumph.
Let's get out of here.
But is the show over already?
Always leave them
wanting more.
Get that boy out of here!
What the devil
you doin', boy?
We threw you out once.
Belay there,
let the boy speak.
I just come to tell you,
there'll be no show tonight.
ALL: What?
They all run off, I saw 'em.
The kid's right.
They're gone!
There ain't nothing
back there.
No scenery, no costumes,
nothing but the piano player.
(ALL SHOUTING)
I sure don't like this
Royal None Such business.
Stealin' poor people's
money, that's
downright dishonest.
Well, your stealin'
yourself from Miss
Watson, ain't you?
Now stealin' is stealing, Jim.
Well, there is stealin'
and there is stealin'.
But this here is stealin'.
The King was right
about one thing.
Nobody's lookin' at you
like you're a runaway slave
no more. Now are they?
Besides, only a couple
of days from Cairo.
Cairo.
(WHISTLES)
Why, that...
Money in the bank.
Here, you hammer up
the rest of the posters.
I'm gonna do a little
advance promoting.
God rest ye merry gentlemen,
good tidings to you all.
One and all, good tidings.
Hip, hip, hip, hip
and all that rot.
Whiskey, your best.
You must be the Reverend Wilks
all the way from England.
My condolences.
From England, rather,
but Reverend Wilks.
Uh, condolences?
Condolences for what?
Your brother just died.
That is if you was the
Reverend Mr. Wilks,
your brother just died,
leaving all that money.
Money?
Children! Forget the signs.
Forget the posters!
What?
Gentlemen, we are about to
raise the curtain on the
most lucrative engagement
of our careers.
You might even say we
were born for these roles.
We're not gonna perform
here in Barrytown.
The stage awaits a few
miles downriver in
Jackson's Landing. Come on.
Now remember, Bilgey,
you're deaf and dumb.
Yes, yes, King.
(SHUSHING)
Fine. And you?
Rather, I say.
Very good. And that's all
you say, so remember it.
Huckleberry, I have
a bad feeling about it.
And this time,
they've gone too far!
Don't worry. Everything's
gonna be just fine.
If anybody comes nosin'
around here, you just get in
there and moan and groan.
Let me hear you.
(MOANING)
(GROANING)
Jim, this is the last time.
Soon as I shuck these two,
I'm gonna cut right
back to here and we'll
be in Cairo tomorrow.
All right, Huckey, I'll be
waitin' for you. Now you be
careful now, you hear?
I won't be long,
Jim, I promise.
KING: Percival,
let's get going.
Goodbye, Jim.
Come along, dear boy.
Quick, let's get going.
Jackson's Landing is
just around the point.
You row, Bilgey.
Farewell, fellow voyagers.
Parting is such sweet sorrow,
that I know that the good
Lord in his kindness,
will guide your ship
up the river of life.
Bless you, bless you,
bless you.
(PEOPLE LAUGHING)
Bless you, bless you,
bless you, bless you.
My poor afflicted
brother here
is expressing our
profound gratitude
for our safe arrival in
this haven of the New
World after our tedious
pilgrimage all the
way from England.
Sheffield, England? Amen.
Bless you, bless you,
bless you.
Howdy do, howdy do. Hello,
hello. Howdy do. Bless you.
Can any of you kind
people tell us where
Mr. Peter Wilks lives?
MAN: I'm sorry, sir.
(SHIP HORN BLOWING)
The best we can do is tell
you where he used to live
as of yesterday morning.
You mean,
our poor brother is gone?
(CRYING)
If only we had a
chance to see him.
It's too much to bear.
(SHIP HORN BLOWING)
(SOBBING)
Reverend Wilks?
Yes, alas it is I.
My name is Lot Hovey.
Deacon Lot Hovey!
Oh, how often has
Peter written of you
and your dear wife.
Margaret.
Margaret!
Of course, dear Margaret.
And what of my
nieces, poor darlings?
What of them?
I'd be honored to
take you to them.
Lead on, Deacon, lead on.
Your uncles are here.
Mary Jane, Susan, we are here.
Poor child.
There, there, dear girl.
There. Uncle is here.
Oh, Uncle.
Don't cry.
Yes, yes. Come to
uncle, dear, that's it.
Oh, that's it.
Oh, Uncle.
That's it. Yes, uncle here.
Don't cry. Come,
come. Don't cry.
(WOMEN CRYING)
(INAUDIBLE)
Oh, yes. Well, Brother
William was just
singing a fitting hymn
for this solemn occasion.
Oh, Reverend Wilks,
could we hear it?
ALL: Yes, Yes. Yes.
Oh, please. Please.
We want to sing.
Please, please.
Please, Reverend, please.
Well, well, all right.
All right.
Gentle, little souls.
Into His hands,
into His hands
Someday we must come
Someday we must come
Into His wonderful,
wonderful hands
Into His heavenly,
heavenly hands
Into His wonderful,
heavenly hands
Someday we must come,
someday we must come
Into His hands,
into His hands
Someday we must come,
someday we must come
Into His wonderful,
wonderful hands
Into His heavenly,
heavenly hands
Into His heavenly,
heavenly hands
Into His wonderful,
heavenly hands
Into His heavenly,
heavenly hands
Into His wonderful,
heavenly hands
Someday we must come,
someday we must come
Someday
We must
Come
Amen
So, when we received
your dear father's letter,
we departed our parish,
haste post haste,
taking our young ward
Percival here with us.
Ah, he's such an aid and
comfort to us on our journey.
(SLURPING)
(CONTINUES SLURPING)
Oh, dear, the only time I get
to hear him is when he eating.
(BURPS)
But our main concern
is for you dear children.
Left all alone.
Oh!
Uncle Harvey.
Hmm?
We almost forgot.
There's a letter.
Father's last wishes.
He wanted us to give
it to you immediately
upon your arrival.
But with...
Completely understandable,
my dear.
Go fetch the letter!
Your dear father's last
wishes must be carried
out forthwith down here.
Because he would not
be happy up there
knowing that things weren't
going right down here.
(GASPS)
You're very considerate,
Uncle Harvey.
My calling. Besides, your dear
uncles want to unburden you
of all concerns.
God rest his generous soul.
Oh, I'm explaining
to Brother William that
your dear father has willed
this house and
its furnishings,
plus $3,000 in gold
to you his dear daughters
and he has willed
the tannery worth $7,000
and another $3,000 in gold to
poor afflicted
William and me.
The gold is hidden in
two sacks under some
bricks in the cellar.
William!
Has just expressed a sentiment
with which I heartily concur.
We cannot accept
one shilling of your dear
father's beneficence.
Oh, no, it's all for you.
It certainly is for you.
No, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, it's all
yours, dear nieces.
But we will go down in
the cellar and fetch it
to protect it for you.
So that he may
rest cold but joyful.
Those dear, good souls.
Rather!
(EXCLAIMS) Be careful.
You idiot!
(SHUSHING)
You look over there.
I'll look down here.
(GRUNTING)
Here, here, here.
These here bricks look loose.
Oh, forget it.
Golly dang.
It sure beats
The Royal None Such
all howdy, don't it?
Shut up, you idiot,
this is only the first act.
We must play it till
the final curtain.
This house alone
will bring $10,000
not countin' furnishing.
Yeah, yeah.
Then there's the tannery.
Yeah, yeah.
And this $6,000.
Where's the other one?
Here, here.
There it is.
(BOTH LAUGHING)
By the time this play's
over you and I will
be gentlemen of leisure.
It's providence,
Bilgey, providence.
Being relatives to rich dead
men and representatives
of foreign heirs.
There's the line for us.
No more small time
bilkin' hayseeds.
We found our calling.
This time tomorrow,
we will be rich.
Far away from here.
(KNOCK AT DOOR)
Who is it?
Mary Jane, Percy.
Oh, come in.
Thought you might need
this come morning.
It gets awfully cold.
Rather.
You know, Percy, there's
somethin' about you
that seems mighty strange.
But there is somethin'
about you I like.
I guess I've always wanted
a little brother to fuss over.
I'm very happy to
have you here, Percy.
I do hope we can
all stay together for
a long, long, time.
Good night, Percy.
Good night, Mary Jane.
(SNORING)
(RIPPING)
(SNEEZES)
Bless you.
(CRYING)
Mary Jane, Susan!
How could I ever hurt them?
Jim's waitin'
down on the river.
Got to get back to him.
What's right? What's wrong?
Try to fight or go along
How can you win?
When every day you
make the devil grin
Which way is real?
What you're taught
or what you feel
What's false? What's fine?
And who's deciding
The dividing line
I don't wanna hurt nobody
I don't wanna die and burn
But with the devil
always dogging
At my heels
How the devil
am I gonna learn?
What's right? What's wrong?
Try to fight or go along
How can you tell
The road to heaven
From the one to hell
Some folks live wise
Other folks are living lies
Can't find my way
But I'll keep tryin'
Till my dying
Day
KING: Vandalized!
Pillaged! Plundered!
We've been robbed!
We've been robbed!
Vandalized!
Pillaged! Plundered!
Give me a hand, Bilgey!
Plundered!
We've been robbed!
We've been robbed!
You've been robbed!
You've been robbed!
What happened?
Oh, that river rat!
That little swindler!
He took the gold!
The Sheriff!
We have got to
tell the Sheriff!
But I just can't
believe that...
Well, you better
believe it, my dear,
that scallywag
has shifty eyes!
Come on, Bil...
Brother William,
we have to go roust the
sheriff and rescue our...
Uh, our nieces gold!
Also we have to arrange post
haste for the auction.
We should have got out of
town last night, like I said.
Now we got nothin'.
(SHUSHING) First of all,
shut your mouth, Bilgey.
Don't you know the
biggest half of this loaf
is yet to be plucked?
Sheriff.
We have a matter of
utmost importance to
discuss with you.
(DOOR OPENING)
Are they gone?
Percy!
Are they gone?
They went for the sheriff!
I can't live a lie anymore.
I just gotta tell you
the truth.
First off,
I ain't English.
My real name's
George Jackson
and I'm on my way to visit
my uncle Abner Moore.
Well, what are you doin'
with our uncles?
Them two ain't your uncles.
They just a couple of river
sharks come to skin you for
everything you got.
I didn't know just what
they was into until
I was too deep in it.
So I took your gold away
from them last night.
I hid it in the safest
place I could.
Well, where'd you hide it?
Well, I can't tell
you right now,
Miss Susan, not till
them two's exposed.
'Cause they'd find a way
to get it out of you,
if you knew.
Sister, we can
trust George here.
There's somethin'
about him I like.
Friends, all.
Our dear brother Peter, your
good friend and neighbor,
who lays yonder,
has done generous well
with his poor daughters
that he's left
behind in this vale of tears.
But these poor orphan
children are twice blighted.
A sneak thief has come
in the night and robbed them
of all of their cash money!
So that all that
they have left
is what we are to auction
here today, so that
Uncle William and myself
could take them back
to England with
a dowry fitting
for them to marry well.
Now what you see before
you is a hand wrought,
hand chased,
hallmarked, sterling
silver, genuine antique
silver tea service, with tray.
Do I hear $50?
How well I remember
this gorgeous six
piece tea service.
When our dear mother used to
serve finger sandwiches and
cheese on the lawn
of our estate
in Sheffield, England.
No doubt she and Peter
are gazing down on
us at the very moment,
hoping that one of you
dear friends and
generous neighbors
will bring this
priceless heirloom
into your home.
Fifty dollars.
Fifty dollars!
Did you hear that,
Brother, $50!
Do I hear $60?
MAN 1: I'll bet $60.
Sixty dollars from that
gentleman right there.
WOMAN: Seventy-five.
KING: Seventy-five!
Did you hear that brother?
$75, that's beautiful. $75.
One hundred dollars.
KING: One hundred
dollars right there.
MAN 2: One hundred fifty.
One hundred and fifty.
That's gorgeous, sir.
Thank you.
One hundred and
fifty going once.
One hundred and
fifty going twice.
MAN 3: One sixty.
One sixty. Bless you, sir.
Thank you very much.
One sixty...
MAN 4: One sixty-five.
KING: What did you say, sir?
A hundred sixty-five.
KING: One sixty-five,
the man with the beard.
Thank you very much.
One hundred and seventy-five.
One seventy-five.
Thank you, sir.
One seventy-five going once.
Two hundred dollars!
Hallelujah, did you hear
that Mother and Brother?
$200.
Two hundred
dollars going once.
(SCREAMING)
Two hundred dollars
going twice.
(PEOPLE SCREAMING)
Oh! Oh! Oh!
(EXCLAIMING)
Damn! Damn!
Somebody give me
a hot foot.
I thought he was supposed
to be deaf and dumb.
The Lord has spoken!
He has His ways.
Let us not question
them because
they are beyond
the comprehension of
us poor mortals.
Let us pray!
Dear Lord, what are you
trying to tell us?
What are you trying to
say through our poor
brother's afflicted mouth?
What heavenly...
Uh-oh.
Could anyone be so kind
as to direct us to the
Peter Wilks residence?
Uncle Harvey!
Uncle William!
I'm gonna get the sheriff!
Thank God, you're really here.
(ALL MURMURING)
All right, you two frauds,
you're goin' to jail!
Jail too good for 'em.
They hoodwinked
the whole town.
They ought to be lynched.
ALL: Yeah! Yeah!
The idea of you
lynching anybody!
Just 'cause you're
brave enough to tar
and feather some poor
outcast women that
come along here.
Why a man's safe in the hands
of 10,000 of your kind!
Listen, I was born and
raised in the South,
and I've lived in the North,
so I know the
average all around.
The average man's a coward!
Now your mistake is
that you didn't bring a
man with you to lead you!
You didn't go home
and fetch your mask
to cover your faces!
Half a man like him there,
yells, "Lynch him, lynch him."
Well, I'll tell you what
you're gonna do.
You're gonna droop
your tails and get along
home, crawl in a hole!
If any real lynchin's gonna
be done around here, come
back with your masks on!
Go on, get out of
here and take that half
a man there with you!
King, that really
was a great speech.
Not bad.
It was first delivered
by a Colonel Sherburne
down in Arkansas when
they were about to be killed.
Figured it might come in
handy one of these days.
After you, sir!
Well, I knew it weren't the
most reverend place to hide
a couple of sacks of gold
but there weren't
nowhere else, so I hid it
in the coffin last night.
Just before you
came down to pray.
Well, I hope you explain
to your two uncles that I
didn't mean to be irreverent.
Well, I gotta go now.
You see, somebody's
waitin' for me.
My uncle, you know?
Goodbye, George Jackson.
And if I don't ever see you
again, I shan't forget you.
And I'll think about you
many and many a time.
And I'll pray for you, too.
Jim!
Jim!
Jim!
Oh, Jim.
Crocker says the barge will be
here in less than two hours.
Ain't soon enough for me.
Don't like this many
on our hands.
Well, never can tell.
Maybe some of them
damn John Brown abolitionists
is fixin' to ambush
them on the river.
Happened two months
ago near Orangeville.
Got away with 17.
Turned 'em all
loose in Cairo.
Ah, that John
Brown's an idiot!
Who's gonna feed 'em
and take care of 'em
while settin' 'em
free? It's a sin!
All I know John Brown says
ownin' niggers is a sin.
Yeah, well, that only
proves he's an idiot!
How many we got this time?
MAN: Twenty-four.
Countin' the new batch.
Three females
and twenty-one bucks.
All right,
let's get 'em ready.
Tie 'em up over here.
Move along now.
Move along!
(WHISPERING)
No. Get away. No!
She's mighty early
but it looks like the
barge is comin'.
Could be.
The river's high and the
current's mighty strong.
Yeah, that's her all right.
Better get 'em ready.
When did he go?
Just now.
Nigger Jim,
did you hear me?
You all come back before
I kill me every damn
nigger in this stockade!
Now stand up!
I know you're in
there somewhere!
Jim, no!
All right, just you
listen to this!
All the slaves in there
are bought and paid for.
He'll never do it.
Now that's one.
Now either give yourself up
or I'll finish
off the rest!
Jim, no! No, it's a trick!
I swear to you!
It's a trick, Jim!
Come on!
He isn't gonna fall for
that and you know it.
Once Crocker gets here
we'll put the dogs on him.
Then he won't stand a
chance in hell.
Come on, let's get 'em
ready for the barge.
Huck, Huck, I can't run
no more. I gotta rest.
(GROANS)
All cramped up from
bein' tied.
(GROANS)
Jim, your blood's red.
The same as mine.
You didn't know
that before, Huck?
It was wrong of me,
and it's wrong for you...
For me to let you be out
here with me like, like this.
Runnin' the risk of
being caught like a,
dammed abolitionist!
Huck, I've been lyin'
to you all along.
You been lyin'?
You don't need to run
from your pap no more.
You don't need to
run from anything.
You know that
dead body I found in
that wrecked houseboat?
That was your pap.
I been wanting to tell you.
I wanted to tell
you right then,
but I was scared.
I was scared you'd
run off and leave me
'cause you didn't
need me no more
and, well, I needed you.
Jim...
You did the right
thing back there.
I might have run off on you.
I probably would have.
But now, I don't give a damn
what the whole world says,
'cause if I'm
doin' wrong, well...
Well, I hope I roast
in hell forever!
(DOGS BARKING)
Give me your shirt, Jim. Huh?
Just give me your shirt.
Now, the raft's on
the river, quarter of a
mile or so in the cove.
Now Cairo's just five
miles on the other side.
Ain't you comin' with me?
When you get there
have somebody write a
letter to Judge Thatcher
back to Hannibal for you.
Say where you are
'cause I'm gonna
have the judge send
you your wife and
your little girl.
All it takes is money.
And I still got all of
mine safe with the judge.
I know I can spring
enough loose for that.
(STAMMERING) No, Huck,
that's your money. I can't...
But, Jim, you're
gonna open up a dry good
store in Cairo, ain't you?
We'll need them to help
us run the business.
We're partners.
Right?
Partners! Remember?
Right.
God bless you!
If there is a God up there,
and I ain't sure if
there is or there ain't,
he'll hear me
praying for you, Jim.
(DOGS BARKING)
Life is a wink
Of time
Heaven's a lonely climb
The road is so
Dark and long
Paved with all
Kinds of wrong
But freedom
Freedom
Freedom
Man's got to make his own
Sun warms the earth below
Earth drinks the winter snow
Seeds feed the winds
That blow
And rain makes
The grain to grow
Freedom, freedom, freedom
Freedom, freedom, freedom
Man's got to make his own
Man's got to make
His
Hey, Huck, ho, ho,
Huckleberry hey, hey
Hey, Huckleberry, Huck,
ho, ho, Huckleberry
Hey, Huckleberry Finn
Huckleberry, where you been?
Huck, oh, Huck
Huckleberry, where you been?
Huckleberry, where you been?
Huckleberry, where you been?
Huckleberry,
where you been?
Rather!
In Cayroe, ayeroe
Illinois
Cha dugga, dugga do
Dah, do dah, do
Cha dugga, dugga,
do, dah, do cha
Dugga, dugga do, dah, do,
gonna get away
To Cayroe, ayeroe
Gonna get away
to Cayroe, ayeroe
Down the river
a thousand miles
That's where we're gonna
live in a different style
In Cayroe, ayeroe, Illinois
In Cayroe, ayeroe, Illinois
Down the river
a thousand miles
That's where
we're gonna live in style
In Cayroe, ayeroe, Illinois
In Cayroe, ayeroe
Illinois
BIRDS CHIRPING)
(BABY CRYING)
(COOING)
Life is a wink of time
Heaven's a lonely climb
The road is so dark and long
Paved with all
kinds of wrong
And freedom, freedom
Freedom
Man's got to make his own
Sun warms the earth below
Earth drinks the winter snow
Seas feed the winds
That blow
Rain makes the grain
To grow
And freedom, freedom
Freedom
Man's got to make his own
We're all born to
live with love to give
Free in the heart and mind
We're all born to be
With a soul that's free
Man made the chains
that bind
Freedom
Talking about freedom
Freedom
Man's got to make his own
God made the sun to rise
And God made
the earth and skies
God made the seas and plains
God made the winds and rains
And freedom
Freedom
Freedom
Man's got to make his own
Freedom, freedom
Freedom
Man's got to make his own
Freedom
Freedom
Man's got to make
His own
Huck, oh, ho,
Huckleberry, Huck
Say, hey, say,
Huckleberry, Huck, oh, ho
Huckleberry,
say Huckleberry Finn
Huckleberry Finn,
say Huckleberry,
Huckleberry Finn
To the possum,
you're the next of kin
Hey, Huckleberry,
Huckleberry Finn
Boss is gonna get you,
gonna fetch you home
Say, Huck, hey, gonna bet
you're somewhere off alone
You all seen Huckleberry?
No, Jim.
Hey, Huckleberry,
Huckleberry Finn,
Huckleberry where you be?
Huck, oh, Huck,
Huckleberry, where you be?
Huckleberry, where you be?
Huckleberry, where you be?
Marybelle,
have you seen Huckleberry?
No, not around here,
I haven't.
All right. Thank you.
Sun a setting in
the same old place
Moon about to climb the sky
You're a wasting
all my time a chasing
'Cause your supper
is about to fry
Mr. Tompkins, has Huck Finn
been in here today?
No, he hasn't.
Well, I best go on
down to the river then.
Thank you.
Huck, oh, ho,
Huckleberry, Huck
Oh, ho Huckleberry,
Huck, say, hey
Hey, Huckleberry
Huck, oh, ho
Huckleberry,
hey, Huckleberry Finn
Folks are cozyin'
to home about now
That's where
they're supposed to be
But you're out moseyin',
so I been chosen
To fetch you
back to home with me
Huckleberry, where you be?
Huck, oh, Huck
Huckleberry, where you be?
Huckleberry, where you be?
Huckleberry, where you be?
(LAUGHING)
Jim. Oh, I knew it
wasn't no catfish.
That tug was
more like a whale.
You got to get home quick.
The ladies is waitin'
supper on you now.
Well, I know you don't
want no more punishment,
now, do you, Huckleberry?
Oh, heck, no.
All right then, let's go.
And Mr. Dobbins said all
you have to do is learn
to apply yourself better.
He said you have good
natural intelligence,
and you learn very fast.
He could be the
head of the class.
If he'd only try!
I'd like to see him the head
of the Sunday school class.
In fact, I'd just
like to see him in his
Sunday school class!
Just what was your
lesson for next Sunday?
Mmm, Moses and
the bull rushers.
Huckleberry dear,
my sister and I
are only concerned
about your future.
Judge Thatcher put
that buried treasure money
you found into a trust.
When you come of age, you're
going to be a young gentleman
of considerable means.
You don't have to end
up like your father.
A derelict, with his body
floating down the river.
Sometimes, I get
the feeling that
Pap ain't dead.
That body they found floatin'
was floatin' face up.
And everybody knows
that a dead man
floats face down.
Leastwise, that's
the feelin' I get.
Better get upstairs
and do your studyin'
now, Huckleberry.
Yes, ma'am.
And it wouldn't hurt to take
another look at that chapter
on Moses in the Bullrushes.
Yes, ma'am.
I'm getting more concerned
about that boy every day.
Oh, Sister, you worry,
too much.
You think you're a good
deal of a big bug, don't you?
Pap, you ain't dead!
(GROANS)
You've put on considerable
frills since I been away.
You can read and write.
Who told you, you might meddle
with such highfalutin
foolishness, huh?
The widder.
The widder, eh?
Who told the widder she could
put in her shovel of a thing
that ain't none of
her business?
Nobody, Pap.
I'll learn people
to bring up a boy
to put on airs
over his own father.
Let on to be better
than what he is.
They say you're rich, eh?
How's that?
Well, I found some money, Pap.
They put it in a trust till...
Liar!
Mr. Finn!
What are you doing?
What do you want?
What I'm doing is learnin'
my son not to lie!
And what I want is
what's rightfully mine!
The money he's lyin' about!
Come on!
Huckleberry has no money.
None he can put
his hands on.
All I know is I want
a thousand dollars.
Now if you ever want
to see this kid again,
you will have it to me
in two days. Come on!
We are poor women, where
would we get that much money?
Oh, you're a poor
woman, ain't you?
With a big, healthy slave
down there who'll fetch
a fine piece of money
from the slave traders.
MR. FINN: Come on!
WIDDER: Please, Mr. Finn!
Mr. Finn, please let
me talk to you.
Mr. Finn, please. Please.
Don't take him away
from me, Mr. Finn!
Two days! You have
the money here.
I'll be back!
Honey.
Jim?
I gotta go.
Jim, what are you...
I gotta go now.
I gotta get away from here.
Got to go?
What did you do, Jim?
I ain't done nothin',
but they're gonna sell me
to the slave traders.
Not Miss Watson.
She can't help it.
Huck's pappy came
and took him away.
Well then, and the ladies,
they need the money
to buy Huck back.
Jim, you know what
they do to runaway slaves.
They catch you,
they whip you,
they truss you up
like a hog!
But if they sell me,
then I may as well be dead.
'Cause I won't never
see you no more.
But where will you go?
Where will you hide?
I'm gonna try to make
it to the free states.
To, well, to Cairo, Illinois.
That's, that's the
closest place.
Cairo? Well, that must
be 1,000 miles from here.
Someday, there ain't gonna
be no more goodbyes.
Someday, honey, darlin'
Won't be tears in your eyes
And someday
we'll be standing
With our heads held up high
Smilin' and a laughin'
Just for no reason why
I see it plain that somehow,
I don't know now
But I know we'll be fine
Trust me, oh,
honey, trust me
'Cause I've seen me a sign
That someday, honey, darlin'
Don't know how long it be
Honey, darlin'
Honey, darlin'
You must remember this
Though I'm going far away
It's gonna be all
sunshine and singin'
Someday
I can't explain,
but somehow
I don't know now
But I know we'll be fine
You, me and the baby
Oh, I've seen me that sign
That someday, honey, darlin'
Don't know how long it be
Honey, darlin'
Honey, darlin'
You belong just to me
MR. FINN: Help me!
Help me! Let me out!
Let me out!
Pap, Pap, wake up!
Pap, you was having
another one of your fits.
Ah, it ain't fair.
You sleep sound while I got
the demons chasing me.
Like I won't get no
sleep till I'm dead!
Get yourself down
to the lines, see if
we got any breakfast.
What's taking you so long?
Hurry up.
We got any fish?
Yeah, Pa!
I fell in, Pap.
(LAUGHING)
It ain't so bad, us
being together again,
is it, Pap?
Just don't get too
comfortable about it.
Soon as I get the money,
I don't care if you
go straight to hell.
You've been bad luck for me
since the day you was born.
You killed your mother gettin'
born, you know that!
I'm goin' across
to Hannibal now
and your two sweet old ladies
better have my $1,000.
My son comes into money,
I'll tell you what I see
Two gospel spouting biddies
is stealin' it from me
I never got a tumble,
I never got a break
But now my luck a changing,
I'll get all I can take
Rotten luck,
filthy rotten luck
The only kind of
luck I ever had
Rotten luck,
stinkin' rotten luck
But now, at last, my luck
Ha, it ain't so bad
(BANGING)
(GRUNTS)
(PIG GRUNTING)
They're all liars!
Runaway slave!
Like hell he run away!
(THUNDER RUMBLING)
Huckleberry!
Murder!
Murder!
Thieving murderers!
(SCREAMS)
Huck, Huck.
Huck, can you hear me?
Huck?
(LAUGHS)
Here sit up.
Take it easy now.
(GRUNTS)
There you are.
Now rest easy, right there.
Oh!
Take it easy.
Here drink this.
Oh, I gave you up for dead
almost two days ago.
What happened, Jim?
Snakebite.
Only thing to do is
cut a hex, suck out
the poison and pray.
What's this?
That's a hex.
Now I ain't superstitious
or nothing,
but with a friend's life,
you don't wanna take
too many chances.
Gosh, Jim, thanks
for saving my life.
Well, don't thank me,
you best thank that hex.
(BOTH LAUGH)
They been comin' past
this island, every day,
shooting off them cannons,
tryin' to raise your body.
I heard 'em talkin'
from the boats, Huck.
You supposed
to be murdered.
Well, you see, I had
to get away from Pap,
so I broke out and I
killed me this wild pig,
then I bloodied up
the place real smart.
(GIGGLES)
Boy, they tell me it
real bad luck makin'
out like you're dead.
How'd you come
to get here, Jim?
I ran away, Huck.
You ran away?
Well, now you know and now
they your troubles, too.
So I figured I die showin'
nothin' they sell me
down in New Orleans
to them slave traders.
So I come here and I'm
just about finished building
me this raft with a
wigwam on it,
and nice dry sand
on the floor.
Well, anywhere
you land, they gonna
pick you up for runaway.
Don't you know that?
Not if I make it to the
free states, they ain't.
Free states?
That's pretty far.
Cairo, Illinois.
We gonna chadugga,
dugga on down to the
river to the free states.
Chadugga dugga, doo dah,
do chadugga, dugga
Doo, dah, do dah,
do, gotta get away
to Cayroe, ayeroe
Gotta get away
to Cayroe, ayeroe
Down the river a
thousand miles, that's where
we're gonna live in style
In Cayroe,
ayeroe, Illinois
In Cayroe, ayeroe, Illinois.
Dah, do, chadugga,
dugga, do
do, dah, do, dah, do
Gonna get a store
in Cayroe, ayeroe
Gonna build a house
Where?
In Cayroe, ayeroe
Gonna get a store
and sell dry goods and build
my house in the piney woods
In Cayroe, ayeroe
Illinois?
That's it! You got it!
In Cayroe, ayeroe, Illinois
Illinois
Do, dah, chadugga, dugga
Do, dah, do, dah, do
Gonna catch a boat
from Cayroe, ayeroe
Down to New Orleans
from Cayroe, ayeroe
What you know
about New Orleans?
Gonna ship on
out from New Orleans
Sail to the land
of the coffee beans
From Cayroe,
ayeroe, Illinois
From Cayroe, ayeroe,
Illinois
Gotta get away
To Cayroe, ayeroe,
gotta get away
To Cayroe, ayeroe
Down the river a thousand
miles, that's where we're
gonna live in style
In Cayroe, ayeroe, Illinois
In Cayroe, ayeroe, Illinois
Da chadugga, dugga,
do, dah, do, dah, do
Gonna get rich
in Cayroe, ayeroe
Rich as an Egyptian
pharaoh, ayeroe
Gonna buy my child
Buy my wife
And we're gonna live
that rich free life
In Cayroe, ayeroe, Illinois
In Cayroe, ayeroe
Illinois
Dah, do, chadugga,
dugga, do dah, do
Chadugga, dugga do,
dah, do
Dah, do
Jim, look.
Hey, looks like a
wrecked house boat.
Looks like she hasn't
been aground too long.
You know, Huck,
we just may be in luck.
JIM: I'll see
what we can find.
(LAUGHS)
Oh, we gonna
feast fancy tonight.
Pap!
Find anything?
There ain't nothin'
in there, but a dead man.
It ain't nothin' but
a house of death.
Let's get out of here.
Goshen should be over there.
Huck, we're lost.
Well, let's head for
that cove over there.
I'll find out where we are.
(KNOCK AT DOOR)
MRS. LOFTUS: Who is it?
HUCKLEBERRY:
(IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE)
Just me, ma'am.
Well, "who's just me?"
Sara Williams, ma'am.
Well, whereabouts you live?
In this neighborhood?
In Bookerville.
I've walked all the way
and I'm all tired out.
Hungry, too, I reckon.
I'll fetch you
something to eat.
Come in. Take a chair.
Thank you, ma'am,
but I ain't hungry.
You see, my mother's
down sick and out of
money and everything.
And, well, I come
to visit my uncle
and, well, I never been
here in Goshen before.
Goshen? This ain't Goshen,
child, this is St. Petersburg.
St. Petersburg?
Goshen's 30 miles
up the river.
Who told you
this was Goshen?
Why, a man I met
this mornin'.
Well, he was drunk,
I reckon.
And, you poor thing,
walkin' around with a
murderin' runaway slave
hidin' out in these parts.
A murderin' slave?
Killed a lad named Huck Finn.
Near Hannibal.
It's an $800
reward on his head.
What did you say
your name was, honey?
Mary Williams.
I thought you said it was Sara
when you first come in.
Uh, yes, ma'am, I did.
It's Sara Mary Williams.
Oh, that's the
way it is, is it?
Yes, ma'am.
Maybe you'll find a
bigger needle in there.
What your real name?
Is it Tom, Dick, Bob?
What is it?
Please don't poke fun
at a poor girl like me.
If I'm in your way I'll...
Just sit right down there.
You're a runaway
apprentice, ain't you?
Well, ma'am...
Yes, ma'am.
I won't tell on you,
don't worry.
Now tell me all about it.
My mother and father's dead
and the law, well, they
bound me out to this mean
old farmer in the country.
And so I stole some of
his daughter's old
clothes and cleared out.
When a cow's laying
down, which end
of her gets up first?
Hind end, ma'am.
Well, then a horse?
Forward end, ma'am.
If 15 cows is browsing
on a hillside,
how many of them eats facing
in the same direction?
Well, the whole 15, ma'am.
Well, I reckon you have
lived in the country.
I thought you was trying
to hocus me again.
No, ma'am.
Tell me what's
your real name?
George Peters, ma'am.
Well, try to
remember it, George.
Yes, ma'am.
You do a girl tolerable poor.
Trot along to your uncle,
Sarah Mary Williams
George Peters.
You'll fetch Goshen by
going through town and
following the river up.
Yes, ma'am. Thank you.
Mind you, boy,
go through town.
Whatever you do, don't cut
through that plantation.
No, ma'am.
Good night, ma'am.
(DOGS BARKING)
(HORSES APPROACHING)
Be done, boys, hush!
Who be you?
George Jackson, sir.
Stand up, boy.
What you doin' prowlin'
around here this time
of the night for?
I'm lost. Fell overboard
off the steamboat.
Jason.
Now look here,
you're tellin' the truth,
you needn't be afraid.
Nobody's gonna hurt you.
His clothes are dry, Pa.
How come your clothes are dry,
George Jackson?
Well, I fell off
this afternoon.
George Jackson, are you
kin to the Shepherdsons?
No, sir.
Do you know
the Shepherdson's?
No, sir,
I never heard of 'em.
Mr. Jackson, I'm Colonel
Saul Grangerford,
and these are my sons.
It would be my distinct
pleasure to have you
as our guest here
at Grangerford.
Give me your arm, boy!
(MARSHALING)
(DOGS BARKING)
(KNOCK AT DOOR)
Come in.
Mr. Jackson, sir?
My name is Buck.
And whiles you're here
at Grangerford Manor,
I will be your personal
manservant and valet.
Well, would you mind
fetching me out of this
here contraption?
You see, I usually does my
body washing in the river.
Here at Grangerford Manor,
there are only
gentle folks and they do
all their body washin'
inside the house.
What's this?
This is your nightcap, sir.
All gentle folks wear this.
Night, Mr. Jackson.
Good night.
(DOOR CLOSING)
Jim.
Mornin', family.
ALL: Good mornin', Papa.
Sleep well, Mr. Jackson?
Oh, yes, thank you, sir.
But, if it's all
right with you,
I'd like to leave
after breakfast.
(ALL LAUGHING)
Don't worry, boy,
we won't let you
outstay your welcome.
(ALL LAUGHING)
Mr. Jackson, you look
like a bright young man.
Well, thank you, sir.
Tell me, Mr. Jackson,
where was Moses when
the candle went out?
Well, I don't know.
I never heard of it before.
Was he in the bull rushers?
Well, guess.
How can I guess if I
never heard of it before?
Well, you can guess,
can't you?
It's just as easy.
Which candle?
COLONEL: Any candle.
I don't know where he was.
Where was he?
Why he was in the dark,
that's where he was.
(ALL LAUGH)
Miss Charlotte.
Thank you, Mitzi.
EMMELINE: I have just
composed my finest poem.
All about a boy by the name
of Stephen Dowling Botts,
that fell down a well
and was drownded.
Drownded?
Would you like me
to read my poem?
HUCKLEBERRY: I'd be mighty
obliged, Miss Emmeline.
Ode to Stephen
Dowling Botts, deceased.
And did young
Stephen sicken?
And did young Stephen die?
And did the sad
hearts thicken?
And did the mourners cry?
No, such was not the
fate of young Stephen
Dowling Botts.
His soul did from
this cold world fly.
By fallin' down a well.
Mighty inspirational,
Miss Emmeline.
Mighty inspirational.
(CRYING)
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
I'm so worried about
Charlotte, so worried.
Don't fuss, Rachel
honey, don't fuss.
Clive, I must apologize
for Charlotte.
I came all the way
from New Hope.
I know and I'm most sorry.
Just a few friends and
relations, Mr. Jackson.
Handsome tradition,
don't you think?
Oh, yes, sir.
Drink up, Mr. Jackson.
Good Grangerford punch.
Saul, you don't seem to
understand, I haven't seen
hide nor hair of our Charlotte
since early afternoon
and she knows cousin
Clive's come all the way
from New Hope to see her.
I sent Jason into town to
find her. Don't fret, Rachel,
honey, she'll be along.
My daughters prepared a
little entertainment for you.
So you all gather around.
I found a rose in a Bible
Who knows the story it told
Pressed there
with joy or with a tear
It was just a forgotten
Souvenir
Is our love
A rose in a Bible
A bud that will
lose its perfume
Please tell me no
Say that our love will grow
Like the flower
Forever in bloom
Now would all you gentlemen
and ladies join us?
I found a rose in a Bible
Who knows
the story it told
Pressed there with joy
or with a tear
Mr. Jackson, sir.
Thank you.
Aren't you going
to ask me for a
dance, Mr. Jackson?
Ma'am, I don't rightly know.
Is our love a
rose in a Bible
A bud that will
lose its perfume
Perfume
Please tell me no
Say that our love with grow
Like a flower
Forever in...
Pa! She run off!
Charlotte, she run off!
My own sister!
She run off and eloped
with Harvey Shepherdson!
Horses! Weapons!
We're gonna kill us some
Shepherdsons tonight!
(ALL CHEERING)
No need for horses, Pa.
The Shepherdsons are
surrounding the place now.
(ALL GASPING)
Put out the candles!
All women and children
into the wine cellar.
(CLAMORING)
Buck! Buck!
Buck! He's my gun bearer,
my loader!
(WOMEN SCREAMING)
Mr. Jackson, I think you're
man enough to watch me kill
some of those Shepherdsons.
I think you're gonna enjoy it.
Thank you, Buck.
Stay with me.
Snuff out the lights.
Polluters! Defilers of
our Shepherdson blood!
Tonight we spill
Grangerford blood!
It's a matter of honor!
Bulls eye!
(GUNS FIRING)
A feud is a funny thing,
Mr. Jackson.
A man has a quarrel
with another man
and he kills him.
Then that other
man's brother.
He kills him.
Then the other brothers
on both sides,
they go for one another.
Then the cousins chip in.
Will you be so kind as
to rip down that drape
and stamp out the fire?
I'd be ever so grateful,
to you, Mr. Jackson.
Buck! Give me my pistol!
Williams!
Bring me some punch.
(GLASS SHATTERS)
Take your coat off,
Mr. Jackson, you're
into action now.
Thank you, Buck.
How long has this feud
been goin' on, Colonel?
Oh, 60 years or
somewhere about that.
What was the trouble about?
I don't rightly know.
It was about some
land or something.
Who done the shootin'?
Was it Grangerford
or was it Shepherdson?
MAN: Good shot, Harry.
That, Mr. Jackson, is
entirely beside the point.
It has now become
a matter of honor.
(GUN FIRES)
(GUNFIRE CONTINUES)
Come with me,
Mr. Jackson,
come with me.
Come on, Mr. Jackson,
now's your chance.
River's down there.
If I was you, Mr. Jackson,
I'd get myself far away from
these here gentle folks.
Thank you, Buck.
I'm much obliged to you.
(GUN FIRES)
Mr. Jackson!
Mr. Jackson, sir.
Mr. Jackson, sir.
Oh, Mr. Jackson.
(LAUGHING)
I was only playin' possum.
Goodbye, Buck.
Goodbye.
HUCKLEBERRY: Jim!
Jim!
Huckleberry, is that you?
Huckleberry!
Jim!
Huckleberry!
I never been
happier to see somebody
in my whole life!
Thank God you're all right.
I heard them shots and I
thought they'd killed you.
What did they
do to you? Nothin'.
Let's not lose any time.
Let's shove off for the big
water as fast as we can!
That must have been
Goshen back there.
We come 30 miles, Jim.
Yep.
You know, there ain't
no home like a raft.
Other places seem so
cramped up and smothery.
A raft doesn't.
You feel mighty free and easy
and comfortable on a raft.
There's only one
thing bothers me
and that's folks thinking
I murdered you.
My being called a runaway,
that don't bother me at all.
But I don't wanna be
called no murderer.
Well, you know I can't show
my face back to Hannibal.
And tell folks
I haven't been murdered.
They'd send me back
to Pap for sure.
The way I see it,
we just gotta stick
together now.
I'm your only evidence.
Turn it in this here cove.
Yes, sir.
I can't wait till
we get to Cairo.
(SIGHS)
I'm gonna catch me
one of them big boats
and gonna ship out as a
cabin boy to South America.
And then I'm gonna start
my own coffee plantation.
There's lots of money
in coffee beans,
but me, I'm gonna
stay in dry goods.
What the matter, Jim?
Slave hunters.
(GUNSHOTS)
MAN: Who's that yonder?
It's just a raft, sir.
MAN: Any men on it?
Uh, just one and me!
Huck!
Hush up, Jim.
Well, there's five niggers
run off tonight up yonder,
above the head of the bend.
Your man white or black?
He's white, sir.
I reckon we'll see
for ourselves.
Catch this here line.
Pap and me is much
obliged to you.
I can tell you, everybody
scoots off when
I want 'em to tow this
blamed raft ashore.
Well, that's infernal
mean. Odd, too.
Say, boy, what's the
matter with your father?
Well, it ain't
anything much.
Boy, you're hidin' somethin'.
What is the matter
with your pap?
Well, please, just
tow us to shore.
You won't have to
get near the raft.
Your pap's got
the small pox.
And you know it
precious well.
Drop that line, boy!
Confound it, I just bet the
wind's done blowed it to us!
Why didn't you come
out and say so? You wanna
spread it all over?
Well, everybody else I told,
run off and left us.
MAN: Poor devil.
We're downright sorry
for you,
but, well, hang it, we don't
wanna get the small
pox, don't you see?
Let's get out of here!
Goodbye, boy. Good luck.
If you see any runaway
niggers, you get
help and nab them.
You can make some
good money by it!
Thank you, sir. I won't
let any runaway get by
me if I can help it.
I ain't no damn abolitionist!
Jim! Jim.
Huck, Huck, here I am.
(COUGHING)
Are they out of sight yet?
Yeah.
I'm gonna roast in hell
forever for all the
lies I told for you.
You didn't have to
get in the water.
Well, I didn't wanna
take no chances.
(LAUGHS)
You sure had them scared.
Yeah.
Well, we best spend
the night on the shore.
Come on.
MAN: Come on, get
them off the boat!
We'll have none of
that kind of thing
around here!
Get them off the boat!
Right now!
You take your hands off me!
Get off my ship!
Do you have any idea...
We'll have none of that!
Throw that riffraff...
Hey, take the scalawags off!
Now look here,
you'll hear from my...
Card sharks!
River hustlers!
First you fleece
my passengers, but
that ain't enough.
Then you start takin'
my whole crew!
Do you know, sir, to
whom you are speaking?
Tell him, Bilgewater!
I'll have you know, sir,
that we are men of title!
The blood of kings flows
through our veins!
Your rash, unfounded
accusations can only be looked
upon with contempt, sir!
Throw off their luggage!
Bring it up!
Oh!
You, you go find my hatbox!
Hurry you lackeys.
Well, throw it, you idiot!
That should be done with it.
Raise it up.
I hope that our undeserved
fate will haunt
you forever, sir!
You are obviously the...
(SHIP HORN BLOWING)
I told you we shouldn't
have pulled the
Cincinnati double shuffle
on the first night.
It wasn't our performance,
dear boy,
it was their pitiful
lack of imagination.
Well, what are
we gonna do next?
Not what are we gonna do,
it is whom are we gonna do.
Now, don't look now,
but the next recipients
of our estimable companionship
are at this very moment
coming to our rescue.
Ahoy, ahoy, there!
Oh, alas. Oh, woe.
(CRYING)
Cry you idiot.
(BOTH CRYING)
Well, why are you gawking?
Mocking us in our hour
of degradation?
Be gone with you!
Be gone, I say!
Do you need any help?
Help. What help can
you give us when fate
has fetched us so low,
when we were once so high!
Let the cruel world
do its worst, but there
one thing we know,
there's a grave
somewhere for us.
Yes.
The world will always go on
as it always has, and take
everything from us.
Money, property, loved
ones, everything!
But it can't take that.
Then one day we'll lay
our poor, broken hearts
down in that grave
and rest in silence.
(SOBBING)
Well, what are you
heaving your poor, broken
hearts at us for?
We're not blaming you.
It's the world that's
brought us down.
Where was you
brought down from?
Oh, you wouldn't believe us.
The world never believes
the secrets of our birth.
'Tis no matter. Let it pass.
Let it pass.
Secrets of your birth?
Wait a minute, you have
a sympathetic face,
perhaps you would believe us.
My great grandmater
on my pater's side
Became a baroness
then great grandpater died
When later great grandmater
again became a bride
She wed a duke
so the royal strain
Was doubled
when she wed again
Their son, my.grand-pere
Became the rightful heir
but lost his lofty title
In a dubious game
of chemin de fer
What a sad demise
for the true dauphin
My daddy was
Louis the 17
Thus I, but for a
tragic happenstance
I'm His Majesty
the King of France
The King of France?
You're looking at
Royalty
Royalty
Fouled and foiled,
slightly soiled
But royalty
Born to reign
all in vain
Fate was cruel,
we should be
ruling royalty
Tell 'em about
yourself Bilgey!
Oh, well, I...
Never mind.
The Duke of Bilgewater
a hundred years gone by
Braved the broad Atlantic
to give the colonies a try
My grandfather's life
was hard and brief
My mother stole matches
and died of grief
Thus here,
but for a cruel historic fluke
Is Lord Bilgewater
A full fledged Duke
You're lookin' at
Royalty
Royalty fouled and foiled
Slightly soiled
but royalty
Born to reign
all in vain
Fate was cruel,
we should be ruling royalty
Well, can't we at least fetch
you down to the next town?
Oh, no, no, we couldn't
think of encroaching
on your hospitality.
But since you insist,
have your man servant tote
our belongings aboard
and let's get out of here.
Come on, Jim.
What should I call you?
Your Grace, My Lord
or Your Lordship?
Well, we're traveling
incognito, you understand?
You simply call me King.
Call him Bilgewater!
Will you put that there,
my good man?
You're looking
at royalty, royalty
Lost our throne
to rolling stones
but royalty
Unlike you our blood is blue
Fate was cruel,
we should be ruling royalty
Shove off, shove off!
You're lookin' at royalty,
you're lookin' at royalty
Fouled and foiled,
slightly soiled
but royalty
Worn and torn but
To the manor born
Fate was cruel,
we should be rulin'
Royalty
Lower your eyes
and bend your knee
You Jackanapes
are gapin' at Royalty
I was up all night,
think I'll take a few
winks of sleep.
Tell me, Jim,
you're a runaway slave,
aren't you?
Who? Me? No, sir,
now I ain't no runaway.
I mean you no harm, Jim.
It just seems mighty
strange for a young
boy and a healthy black
like yourself shifting free
and easy here on this raft.
Headin' down river.
Headin' straight for Cairo.
Which as any simple-minded
fool knows
exactly where a runaway
slave would just
naturally gravitate.
JIM: Well, uh...
Oh, he ain't no runaway.
You see, King,
my folks was livin' in
Pike County in Missouri.
That's where I was born.
And they all died off
except for me and Pap
and my brother Ike
and our freeborn
manservant here, Jim.
That's right.
He tellin' it right.
Oh, I know he is and he's
doing a wonderful job.
Isn't he though?
Yeah, well, continue, uh...
What did you say
your name was?
Jackson. George Jackson.
Well, we ran into a
piece of bad luck a
couple of nights ago.
Steamboat ran over the
forward end of our raft,
we all fell overboard
underneath the wheel.
Jim and me come up
all right, but,
well, Pap was drunk
and, well, Ike was only
four years old.
Lord rest their souls.
(YAWNING)
That was a really
very touching story,
but I've had a tryin' morning.
Think I'm gonna join my friend
in the arms of Morpheus.
Move your feet, Bilgey,
move your feet.
What?
I've had better
accommodations than this.
Do you think he believed us?
(SHUSHING)
But did you believe him?
I mean about them
being royalty and all?
Well, not all of it.
Well, as long as
he believes that
we believe that stretcher
he told us, I figure
he'll go along with ours.
Besides, like Miss Watson
used to say, "Them two might
"just be a blessing
in disguise."
And once he gets you into
his clutches, my friends,
the demon rum will rot you,
through and through!
Rot your body, rot your brain,
rot your immortal soul.
Oh, it was spellbinding,
I tell you. I was the pet
of the womenfolk.
Big and little.
'Cause we was makin' it mighty
warm for those rummies.
We were takin' in a fortune.
Then somehow or other
a little report got out that
we was puttin' in time
with the jug on the sly.
They run us out of
town so quick...
Quiet, quiet, quiet,
quiet, quiet, quiet.
Then we took to
sellin' an article to take
the tartar off the teeth,
and it does, too.
And generally the
enamel along with it.
We got outta there just
ahead of the lynch mob.
Enough, they were
a pack of ingrates!
Oh, boy, put
mine over there.
May I make a suggestion,
gentlemen?
If I was to make believe
to be your slave,
why, folks would never
question two gentlemen
of obvious quality,
such as yourselves.
Why you'd appear to be,
the owners of a valuable
piece of property
namely me.
And that way we could
all travel together safely.
Brilliant. Brilliant!
But it needs something!
Let me think.
I've got it!
You two wanna make it
safely to Cairo, right?
Yes, sir!
Well, it wouldn't
hurt to have a little
jingle in your pockets
when you get there, would it?
(LAUGHS)
You are now members
of the Royal Shakespeare
Touring Company.
Good thinking, King.
Bilgey, I want you to make
me up some new posters
and tickets. Lots of tickets.
For two nights only,
David Garrick the Younger
and Edmund Keene the Elder,
direct from London in
their celebrated performance
of The Royal None Such!
(LAUGHS)
The play's the thing, boys.
KING: My dear citizens of
this fair, charming,
quaint city of Clairville.
Trusting you all know
your own names,
let me tell you mine.
I am David Garrick
the Younger
of the Royal Haymarket
Theater, White Chapel,
Piccadilly, Pudding Lane,
London!
Now star and managing
director of the
Royal Shakespeare
Touring Company. Ta-da!
And now, let me introduce
you to the members of
my illustrious troupe.
First of all, Mr. Edmund Keene
the Elder of the Drury
Lane Theater, London.
Right there.
Yes. And now,
my young ward Percival
Hepplewhite the Third,
known throughout
Europe as the boy genius
of Stratford-upon-Avon.
Right there.
Thank you for your
passionate response, sir.
And now,
last but not least, perhaps
the world most brilliant
interpreter of
Shakespeare's immortal
character, Caliban,
the former king of
Hugga mugga,
King Goonawonga!
Right there.
(CROWD MURMURING)
Assisted by the strength
of my entire troupe,
with new appointments,
new scenery, new props,
for just two nights only,
because of imperative
European engagements
we will present
the thrilling,
spine tingling, inspiring
epic from the pen
of the Bard himself,
The Royal None Such!
Unfortunately,
however, there...
Unfortunately, however,
women and children
will not be admitted
to either performance.
Under any circumstances.
(CHATTERING)
There must be at least a
hundred people in there.
More like 163
including standing room.
Can hardly wait to
see the show myself.
Me neither.
Full house,
full house. Listen...
You two run along down
to the raft with Bilgewater.
What? Don't we get
to see the show?
His Majesty don't like
nobody watchin' from
the wings. Come on.
But, but...
Get out of here.
Why, Tom, you're too young.
Who let you in?
I let myself in.
Well, let yourself out!
Hey, put me down!
(SHUSHING)
(PEOPLE APPLAUDING)
(CHEERING)
Bless you. Gentlemen
and gentlemen.
(LAUGHING)
The Royal Shakespeare
Touring Company is proud to
present tonight for your
pleasure.
(LAUGHING)
The least known,
yet for his greatest work
of the Bard of Avon.
(CHEERING)
The Royal None Such.
Also known as
The Tragedy of the
King's Camel Leopard.
Prepare for
Rolling heads,
blood that sheds
Right before your eyes
Revenge and hate,
the mell of fate
When everybody dies
And who does so much more
than lust and gore
(LAUGHS) Laughter.
(CRYING) Tears.
And skin.
The Royal None Such
Has come to town,
so let the play
Before we raise the curtain
on this epic tour de force
Certain pertinent
facts I must convey
This manuscript lay
static in a corner of
Shakespeare's attic
Till I by chance
Discovered it
Dramatically uncovered it
It was a cold and rainy night.
I happened to be a house guest
at the ancestral cottage
of my dear friend,
Shakespeare.
(YAWNS)
Alas, sleep would not come.
So I spent the night
scuffling about
midst the boxes and
the barrels aloft.
When moment of moments.
I stumbled upon this discarded
bundle of parchment.
Breathlessly I blew
away 247 years
of dust.
(COUGHS)
(AUDIENCE LAUGHS)
Lo, there it was.
In the Bard's own hand.
The Royal None Such.
A new tragedy by
William Shakespeare.
Oh, ho
There so much more
than love and war
In this great
Shakespeareance
The Royal Nonesuch
has come to town
The Royal None Such
of much renown
The Royal None Such
Won't let you down
So let the play
Commence
Come on, come on, come on.
Can't we at least go back and
take a look? He'd never know.
It was a triumph.
Let's get out of here.
But is the show over already?
Always leave them
wanting more.
Get that boy out of here!
What the devil
you doin', boy?
We threw you out once.
Belay there,
let the boy speak.
I just come to tell you,
there'll be no show tonight.
ALL: What?
They all run off, I saw 'em.
The kid's right.
They're gone!
There ain't nothing
back there.
No scenery, no costumes,
nothing but the piano player.
(ALL SHOUTING)
I sure don't like this
Royal None Such business.
Stealin' poor people's
money, that's
downright dishonest.
Well, your stealin'
yourself from Miss
Watson, ain't you?
Now stealin' is stealing, Jim.
Well, there is stealin'
and there is stealin'.
But this here is stealin'.
The King was right
about one thing.
Nobody's lookin' at you
like you're a runaway slave
no more. Now are they?
Besides, only a couple
of days from Cairo.
Cairo.
(WHISTLES)
Why, that...
Money in the bank.
Here, you hammer up
the rest of the posters.
I'm gonna do a little
advance promoting.
God rest ye merry gentlemen,
good tidings to you all.
One and all, good tidings.
Hip, hip, hip, hip
and all that rot.
Whiskey, your best.
You must be the Reverend Wilks
all the way from England.
My condolences.
From England, rather,
but Reverend Wilks.
Uh, condolences?
Condolences for what?
Your brother just died.
That is if you was the
Reverend Mr. Wilks,
your brother just died,
leaving all that money.
Money?
Children! Forget the signs.
Forget the posters!
What?
Gentlemen, we are about to
raise the curtain on the
most lucrative engagement
of our careers.
You might even say we
were born for these roles.
We're not gonna perform
here in Barrytown.
The stage awaits a few
miles downriver in
Jackson's Landing. Come on.
Now remember, Bilgey,
you're deaf and dumb.
Yes, yes, King.
(SHUSHING)
Fine. And you?
Rather, I say.
Very good. And that's all
you say, so remember it.
Huckleberry, I have
a bad feeling about it.
And this time,
they've gone too far!
Don't worry. Everything's
gonna be just fine.
If anybody comes nosin'
around here, you just get in
there and moan and groan.
Let me hear you.
(MOANING)
(GROANING)
Jim, this is the last time.
Soon as I shuck these two,
I'm gonna cut right
back to here and we'll
be in Cairo tomorrow.
All right, Huckey, I'll be
waitin' for you. Now you be
careful now, you hear?
I won't be long,
Jim, I promise.
KING: Percival,
let's get going.
Goodbye, Jim.
Come along, dear boy.
Quick, let's get going.
Jackson's Landing is
just around the point.
You row, Bilgey.
Farewell, fellow voyagers.
Parting is such sweet sorrow,
that I know that the good
Lord in his kindness,
will guide your ship
up the river of life.
Bless you, bless you,
bless you.
(PEOPLE LAUGHING)
Bless you, bless you,
bless you, bless you.
My poor afflicted
brother here
is expressing our
profound gratitude
for our safe arrival in
this haven of the New
World after our tedious
pilgrimage all the
way from England.
Sheffield, England? Amen.
Bless you, bless you,
bless you.
Howdy do, howdy do. Hello,
hello. Howdy do. Bless you.
Can any of you kind
people tell us where
Mr. Peter Wilks lives?
MAN: I'm sorry, sir.
(SHIP HORN BLOWING)
The best we can do is tell
you where he used to live
as of yesterday morning.
You mean,
our poor brother is gone?
(CRYING)
If only we had a
chance to see him.
It's too much to bear.
(SHIP HORN BLOWING)
(SOBBING)
Reverend Wilks?
Yes, alas it is I.
My name is Lot Hovey.
Deacon Lot Hovey!
Oh, how often has
Peter written of you
and your dear wife.
Margaret.
Margaret!
Of course, dear Margaret.
And what of my
nieces, poor darlings?
What of them?
I'd be honored to
take you to them.
Lead on, Deacon, lead on.
Your uncles are here.
Mary Jane, Susan, we are here.
Poor child.
There, there, dear girl.
There. Uncle is here.
Oh, Uncle.
Don't cry.
Yes, yes. Come to
uncle, dear, that's it.
Oh, that's it.
Oh, Uncle.
That's it. Yes, uncle here.
Don't cry. Come,
come. Don't cry.
(WOMEN CRYING)
(INAUDIBLE)
Oh, yes. Well, Brother
William was just
singing a fitting hymn
for this solemn occasion.
Oh, Reverend Wilks,
could we hear it?
ALL: Yes, Yes. Yes.
Oh, please. Please.
We want to sing.
Please, please.
Please, Reverend, please.
Well, well, all right.
All right.
Gentle, little souls.
Into His hands,
into His hands
Someday we must come
Someday we must come
Into His wonderful,
wonderful hands
Into His heavenly,
heavenly hands
Into His wonderful,
heavenly hands
Someday we must come,
someday we must come
Into His hands,
into His hands
Someday we must come,
someday we must come
Into His wonderful,
wonderful hands
Into His heavenly,
heavenly hands
Into His heavenly,
heavenly hands
Into His wonderful,
heavenly hands
Into His heavenly,
heavenly hands
Into His wonderful,
heavenly hands
Someday we must come,
someday we must come
Someday
We must
Come
Amen
So, when we received
your dear father's letter,
we departed our parish,
haste post haste,
taking our young ward
Percival here with us.
Ah, he's such an aid and
comfort to us on our journey.
(SLURPING)
(CONTINUES SLURPING)
Oh, dear, the only time I get
to hear him is when he eating.
(BURPS)
But our main concern
is for you dear children.
Left all alone.
Oh!
Uncle Harvey.
Hmm?
We almost forgot.
There's a letter.
Father's last wishes.
He wanted us to give
it to you immediately
upon your arrival.
But with...
Completely understandable,
my dear.
Go fetch the letter!
Your dear father's last
wishes must be carried
out forthwith down here.
Because he would not
be happy up there
knowing that things weren't
going right down here.
(GASPS)
You're very considerate,
Uncle Harvey.
My calling. Besides, your dear
uncles want to unburden you
of all concerns.
God rest his generous soul.
Oh, I'm explaining
to Brother William that
your dear father has willed
this house and
its furnishings,
plus $3,000 in gold
to you his dear daughters
and he has willed
the tannery worth $7,000
and another $3,000 in gold to
poor afflicted
William and me.
The gold is hidden in
two sacks under some
bricks in the cellar.
William!
Has just expressed a sentiment
with which I heartily concur.
We cannot accept
one shilling of your dear
father's beneficence.
Oh, no, it's all for you.
It certainly is for you.
No, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, it's all
yours, dear nieces.
But we will go down in
the cellar and fetch it
to protect it for you.
So that he may
rest cold but joyful.
Those dear, good souls.
Rather!
(EXCLAIMS) Be careful.
You idiot!
(SHUSHING)
You look over there.
I'll look down here.
(GRUNTING)
Here, here, here.
These here bricks look loose.
Oh, forget it.
Golly dang.
It sure beats
The Royal None Such
all howdy, don't it?
Shut up, you idiot,
this is only the first act.
We must play it till
the final curtain.
This house alone
will bring $10,000
not countin' furnishing.
Yeah, yeah.
Then there's the tannery.
Yeah, yeah.
And this $6,000.
Where's the other one?
Here, here.
There it is.
(BOTH LAUGHING)
By the time this play's
over you and I will
be gentlemen of leisure.
It's providence,
Bilgey, providence.
Being relatives to rich dead
men and representatives
of foreign heirs.
There's the line for us.
No more small time
bilkin' hayseeds.
We found our calling.
This time tomorrow,
we will be rich.
Far away from here.
(KNOCK AT DOOR)
Who is it?
Mary Jane, Percy.
Oh, come in.
Thought you might need
this come morning.
It gets awfully cold.
Rather.
You know, Percy, there's
somethin' about you
that seems mighty strange.
But there is somethin'
about you I like.
I guess I've always wanted
a little brother to fuss over.
I'm very happy to
have you here, Percy.
I do hope we can
all stay together for
a long, long, time.
Good night, Percy.
Good night, Mary Jane.
(SNORING)
(RIPPING)
(SNEEZES)
Bless you.
(CRYING)
Mary Jane, Susan!
How could I ever hurt them?
Jim's waitin'
down on the river.
Got to get back to him.
What's right? What's wrong?
Try to fight or go along
How can you win?
When every day you
make the devil grin
Which way is real?
What you're taught
or what you feel
What's false? What's fine?
And who's deciding
The dividing line
I don't wanna hurt nobody
I don't wanna die and burn
But with the devil
always dogging
At my heels
How the devil
am I gonna learn?
What's right? What's wrong?
Try to fight or go along
How can you tell
The road to heaven
From the one to hell
Some folks live wise
Other folks are living lies
Can't find my way
But I'll keep tryin'
Till my dying
Day
KING: Vandalized!
Pillaged! Plundered!
We've been robbed!
We've been robbed!
Vandalized!
Pillaged! Plundered!
Give me a hand, Bilgey!
Plundered!
We've been robbed!
We've been robbed!
You've been robbed!
You've been robbed!
What happened?
Oh, that river rat!
That little swindler!
He took the gold!
The Sheriff!
We have got to
tell the Sheriff!
But I just can't
believe that...
Well, you better
believe it, my dear,
that scallywag
has shifty eyes!
Come on, Bil...
Brother William,
we have to go roust the
sheriff and rescue our...
Uh, our nieces gold!
Also we have to arrange post
haste for the auction.
We should have got out of
town last night, like I said.
Now we got nothin'.
(SHUSHING) First of all,
shut your mouth, Bilgey.
Don't you know the
biggest half of this loaf
is yet to be plucked?
Sheriff.
We have a matter of
utmost importance to
discuss with you.
(DOOR OPENING)
Are they gone?
Percy!
Are they gone?
They went for the sheriff!
I can't live a lie anymore.
I just gotta tell you
the truth.
First off,
I ain't English.
My real name's
George Jackson
and I'm on my way to visit
my uncle Abner Moore.
Well, what are you doin'
with our uncles?
Them two ain't your uncles.
They just a couple of river
sharks come to skin you for
everything you got.
I didn't know just what
they was into until
I was too deep in it.
So I took your gold away
from them last night.
I hid it in the safest
place I could.
Well, where'd you hide it?
Well, I can't tell
you right now,
Miss Susan, not till
them two's exposed.
'Cause they'd find a way
to get it out of you,
if you knew.
Sister, we can
trust George here.
There's somethin'
about him I like.
Friends, all.
Our dear brother Peter, your
good friend and neighbor,
who lays yonder,
has done generous well
with his poor daughters
that he's left
behind in this vale of tears.
But these poor orphan
children are twice blighted.
A sneak thief has come
in the night and robbed them
of all of their cash money!
So that all that
they have left
is what we are to auction
here today, so that
Uncle William and myself
could take them back
to England with
a dowry fitting
for them to marry well.
Now what you see before
you is a hand wrought,
hand chased,
hallmarked, sterling
silver, genuine antique
silver tea service, with tray.
Do I hear $50?
How well I remember
this gorgeous six
piece tea service.
When our dear mother used to
serve finger sandwiches and
cheese on the lawn
of our estate
in Sheffield, England.
No doubt she and Peter
are gazing down on
us at the very moment,
hoping that one of you
dear friends and
generous neighbors
will bring this
priceless heirloom
into your home.
Fifty dollars.
Fifty dollars!
Did you hear that,
Brother, $50!
Do I hear $60?
MAN 1: I'll bet $60.
Sixty dollars from that
gentleman right there.
WOMAN: Seventy-five.
KING: Seventy-five!
Did you hear that brother?
$75, that's beautiful. $75.
One hundred dollars.
KING: One hundred
dollars right there.
MAN 2: One hundred fifty.
One hundred and fifty.
That's gorgeous, sir.
Thank you.
One hundred and
fifty going once.
One hundred and
fifty going twice.
MAN 3: One sixty.
One sixty. Bless you, sir.
Thank you very much.
One sixty...
MAN 4: One sixty-five.
KING: What did you say, sir?
A hundred sixty-five.
KING: One sixty-five,
the man with the beard.
Thank you very much.
One hundred and seventy-five.
One seventy-five.
Thank you, sir.
One seventy-five going once.
Two hundred dollars!
Hallelujah, did you hear
that Mother and Brother?
$200.
Two hundred
dollars going once.
(SCREAMING)
Two hundred dollars
going twice.
(PEOPLE SCREAMING)
Oh! Oh! Oh!
(EXCLAIMING)
Damn! Damn!
Somebody give me
a hot foot.
I thought he was supposed
to be deaf and dumb.
The Lord has spoken!
He has His ways.
Let us not question
them because
they are beyond
the comprehension of
us poor mortals.
Let us pray!
Dear Lord, what are you
trying to tell us?
What are you trying to
say through our poor
brother's afflicted mouth?
What heavenly...
Uh-oh.
Could anyone be so kind
as to direct us to the
Peter Wilks residence?
Uncle Harvey!
Uncle William!
I'm gonna get the sheriff!
Thank God, you're really here.
(ALL MURMURING)
All right, you two frauds,
you're goin' to jail!
Jail too good for 'em.
They hoodwinked
the whole town.
They ought to be lynched.
ALL: Yeah! Yeah!
The idea of you
lynching anybody!
Just 'cause you're
brave enough to tar
and feather some poor
outcast women that
come along here.
Why a man's safe in the hands
of 10,000 of your kind!
Listen, I was born and
raised in the South,
and I've lived in the North,
so I know the
average all around.
The average man's a coward!
Now your mistake is
that you didn't bring a
man with you to lead you!
You didn't go home
and fetch your mask
to cover your faces!
Half a man like him there,
yells, "Lynch him, lynch him."
Well, I'll tell you what
you're gonna do.
You're gonna droop
your tails and get along
home, crawl in a hole!
If any real lynchin's gonna
be done around here, come
back with your masks on!
Go on, get out of
here and take that half
a man there with you!
King, that really
was a great speech.
Not bad.
It was first delivered
by a Colonel Sherburne
down in Arkansas when
they were about to be killed.
Figured it might come in
handy one of these days.
After you, sir!
Well, I knew it weren't the
most reverend place to hide
a couple of sacks of gold
but there weren't
nowhere else, so I hid it
in the coffin last night.
Just before you
came down to pray.
Well, I hope you explain
to your two uncles that I
didn't mean to be irreverent.
Well, I gotta go now.
You see, somebody's
waitin' for me.
My uncle, you know?
Goodbye, George Jackson.
And if I don't ever see you
again, I shan't forget you.
And I'll think about you
many and many a time.
And I'll pray for you, too.
Jim!
Jim!
Jim!
Oh, Jim.
Crocker says the barge will be
here in less than two hours.
Ain't soon enough for me.
Don't like this many
on our hands.
Well, never can tell.
Maybe some of them
damn John Brown abolitionists
is fixin' to ambush
them on the river.
Happened two months
ago near Orangeville.
Got away with 17.
Turned 'em all
loose in Cairo.
Ah, that John
Brown's an idiot!
Who's gonna feed 'em
and take care of 'em
while settin' 'em
free? It's a sin!
All I know John Brown says
ownin' niggers is a sin.
Yeah, well, that only
proves he's an idiot!
How many we got this time?
MAN: Twenty-four.
Countin' the new batch.
Three females
and twenty-one bucks.
All right,
let's get 'em ready.
Tie 'em up over here.
Move along now.
Move along!
(WHISPERING)
No. Get away. No!
She's mighty early
but it looks like the
barge is comin'.
Could be.
The river's high and the
current's mighty strong.
Yeah, that's her all right.
Better get 'em ready.
When did he go?
Just now.
Nigger Jim,
did you hear me?
You all come back before
I kill me every damn
nigger in this stockade!
Now stand up!
I know you're in
there somewhere!
Jim, no!
All right, just you
listen to this!
All the slaves in there
are bought and paid for.
He'll never do it.
Now that's one.
Now either give yourself up
or I'll finish
off the rest!
Jim, no! No, it's a trick!
I swear to you!
It's a trick, Jim!
Come on!
He isn't gonna fall for
that and you know it.
Once Crocker gets here
we'll put the dogs on him.
Then he won't stand a
chance in hell.
Come on, let's get 'em
ready for the barge.
Huck, Huck, I can't run
no more. I gotta rest.
(GROANS)
All cramped up from
bein' tied.
(GROANS)
Jim, your blood's red.
The same as mine.
You didn't know
that before, Huck?
It was wrong of me,
and it's wrong for you...
For me to let you be out
here with me like, like this.
Runnin' the risk of
being caught like a,
dammed abolitionist!
Huck, I've been lyin'
to you all along.
You been lyin'?
You don't need to run
from your pap no more.
You don't need to
run from anything.
You know that
dead body I found in
that wrecked houseboat?
That was your pap.
I been wanting to tell you.
I wanted to tell
you right then,
but I was scared.
I was scared you'd
run off and leave me
'cause you didn't
need me no more
and, well, I needed you.
Jim...
You did the right
thing back there.
I might have run off on you.
I probably would have.
But now, I don't give a damn
what the whole world says,
'cause if I'm
doin' wrong, well...
Well, I hope I roast
in hell forever!
(DOGS BARKING)
Give me your shirt, Jim. Huh?
Just give me your shirt.
Now, the raft's on
the river, quarter of a
mile or so in the cove.
Now Cairo's just five
miles on the other side.
Ain't you comin' with me?
When you get there
have somebody write a
letter to Judge Thatcher
back to Hannibal for you.
Say where you are
'cause I'm gonna
have the judge send
you your wife and
your little girl.
All it takes is money.
And I still got all of
mine safe with the judge.
I know I can spring
enough loose for that.
(STAMMERING) No, Huck,
that's your money. I can't...
But, Jim, you're
gonna open up a dry good
store in Cairo, ain't you?
We'll need them to help
us run the business.
We're partners.
Right?
Partners! Remember?
Right.
God bless you!
If there is a God up there,
and I ain't sure if
there is or there ain't,
he'll hear me
praying for you, Jim.
(DOGS BARKING)
Life is a wink
Of time
Heaven's a lonely climb
The road is so
Dark and long
Paved with all
Kinds of wrong
But freedom
Freedom
Freedom
Man's got to make his own
Sun warms the earth below
Earth drinks the winter snow
Seeds feed the winds
That blow
And rain makes
The grain to grow
Freedom, freedom, freedom
Freedom, freedom, freedom
Man's got to make his own
Man's got to make
His
Hey, Huck, ho, ho,
Huckleberry hey, hey
Hey, Huckleberry, Huck,
ho, ho, Huckleberry
Hey, Huckleberry Finn
Huckleberry, where you been?
Huck, oh, Huck
Huckleberry, where you been?
Huckleberry, where you been?
Huckleberry, where you been?
Huckleberry,
where you been?
Rather!
In Cayroe, ayeroe
Illinois
Cha dugga, dugga do
Dah, do dah, do
Cha dugga, dugga,
do, dah, do cha
Dugga, dugga do, dah, do,
gonna get away
To Cayroe, ayeroe
Gonna get away
to Cayroe, ayeroe
Down the river
a thousand miles
That's where we're gonna
live in a different style
In Cayroe, ayeroe, Illinois
In Cayroe, ayeroe, Illinois
Down the river
a thousand miles
That's where
we're gonna live in style
In Cayroe, ayeroe, Illinois
In Cayroe, ayeroe
Illinois