Ile Wazy Kon Trojanski? (How Much Does the Trojan Horse Weigh) (2008) Movie Script
present, co-funded by
the Polish Institute of Film Art,
a Juliusz Machulski film
HOW MUCH
THE TROJAN HORSE WEIGHS?
Starring
Passenger Zosia Radecka...
- Where's Ticket Office 10?
- Ticket-Sales Point 3.
Repeat Passenger Radecka, age 40...
It's me.
- Excuse me?
- They're paging my name.
Age 40?
- Excuse me?
- Are you 40?
- None of your business.
- Today's your birthday!
A surprise for you
on behalf of the airport.
Blow them out, please.
You kidding?
May she live
to be a hundred...
Costume Designer
Makeup
Sound
Music
Edited by
Production Managers
Kuba!
Executive Producer
Florka? Kuba!
Coproducers
Director of Photography
Producer
To be quite blunt?
It's no good.
I can't take it any more.
We must change the bedroom
or move out altogether.
May she live
to be a hundred...
We made a deal:
not this birthday!
- Mom...
- Thank you.
Beautiful!
No need to make breakfast.
- Well then...
- What?
- Is it different?
- From what?
- Yesterday.
- No, it's not.
But let's not talk
about it, please.
Not about my age.
When I was your age,
...my today's seemed ancient.
- And it's not?
No. Every day in every way
mom's getting better and better.
When I turned 20, I promised myself
to go to Paris on this birthday,
and jump off the Eiffel Tower.
But then I jump after you,
and take you to the restaurant
on the top floor.
- That's where James Bond landed?
- Exactly.
And what's its name?
- Jules Verne.
- Jules Verne.
- You couldn't've managed.
- Me?
You have to book a table
there half a year earlier.
I know the matre d'.
He'd squeeze us in.
- What's his name?
- Jules Verne.
You local idiot,
the local moron said,
would you like to see
a blockbuster with me?
The local cretin replied,
With pleasure,
since I'm in love with
you in some measure.
- I can't stand it. Stop or I'll puke.
- You hate the poet Tuwim.
Dad, how much did
the Trojan horse weigh?
- Empty or with the crew inside?
- Oh, gosh...
That's what we need.
Gerberas? I never like
them or trucks either.
It's no truck
but a Hummer.
Good.
I got to hang up.
I'm happy to have found you.
Zosia, many happy
returns of the day.
What a murderous memory?
I wish you... since
you've found happiness...
...good health,
which guarantees everything.
- Thank you.
- Here you are.
Hi, Kuba!
How pale you are.
You should go out
and get suntanned.
- Sure. Hi, Darek.
- Hi, Dad.
A bit in a hurry...
Thanks for the flowers.
You shouldn't have bothered
so early in the morn.
I've just come to take her.
Where's hello to Daddy?
Grandma's dying to see you.
You'll even stay overnight.
Can't Grandma put that off?
I can't tomorrow -
going hunting.
I put the hunt off especially
to give you best wishes.
How lucky I am.
Thanks.
You can always call
me to make a date.
A permission for an audience.
I misbehaved as usual.
I'll drive with Dad,
but you'll collect me, yes?
Sure.
- And I'll tell him...
- No. It's not the right time.
By the way can I take
the antlers back?
Great. They're ready.
I'll fetch them.
- Well, how's school?
- It's holidays.
Got good grades? The 5th grade
is no piece of cake.
- I'm in the 6th.
- How time flies...
Yeah.
- Zosia, how about a comeback?
- Excuse me?
We make such a beautiful family.
Would you like Dad to remarry Mom?
- Mom's has a husband already.
- You've made a nest in my house.
Excuse me?
A nest in your house?
- Kuba and I paid you off long ago.
- Yes, you did to build a nest.
Thanks. They're changing
the mains. High time.
- So... let's go.
- Good bye.
And it's gonna drag...
So many years after the divorce,
as if we were still bound.
- You are.
- With what?
Florka.
Dad, I got to tell you
something important.
First, let me see if they're
putting the mains right.
I'm awfully sorry for
my former life,
for not having met you earlier,
that Florka's not your daughter,
but must be shared
with her ex father.
You think that our natural daughter
would be finer?
Since I live with Kuba
and he brings me up,
I'd like my name
to be Albrecht-Radecka.
You're stabbing me
in the heart!
I also bring you up...
- What happened?
- Hey, you alive, mister?
I swear I've never...
And into the pit
with those antlers!
I wish he'd broken his neck.
He might've broken his leg
trying to save the antlers.
So the name change
is out of the question?
Florka asked Darek to agree
to change her name to Radecka?
Not to change,
but to add to Albrecht.
She's going to high school.
Kuba's familiar to TV viewers.
So she wouldn't like to explain
why her name's different.
Her name would be
Albrecht after Darek
plus Radecka after Kuba.
When she told him that,
he fell into the pit.
You're proof that God or at least
Providence exists.
Me? Why?
You freed yourself from a tyrant
husband, met a super guy
whom your daughter
adores more than her dad.
- What happened to your eye?
- Nothing.
- I bumped against the cabinet.
- He did it again?
- You should have him...
- Nobody did anything.
Away with this number!
Outta here.
- Bye.
- Bye darling.
Hold your own on this birthday.
See you at work Monday.
Happy New Year. Bye.
That SOB batters her.
Unbelievable.
Wife beater.
And they could never
have met.
I remember the day
he came to our Dean's office.
Isn't your name day
today, Zosia?
Must be, because it's today.
I must've... gotten lost.
I'm looking for
the Sociology Dept. office.
- It's two blocks away from here.
- I'll walk there with you.
You are having a class
and will be late.
No big deal
if I come late.
And she fell into the trap.
How come you remember
when it happened?
- I have a good episodic memory.
- What?!
Concerned with my own
experiences.
Hi, Grandma.
B. November 11, 1918,
died a tragic death May 17, 1987
a. k. a. Wasp,
the Home Army soldier
So... I've turned 40.
I sometimes miss you badly.
Thank you for everything,
as I know you're watching
over me all the time.
I wish Florka had
gotten to know you
and you had met Kuba.
How much does
the Trojan horse weigh?
There was an English
version. Sold out now.
Forty?
- How do you know?
- Excuse me?
- My age's none of your business.
- I meant the price in zloty.
Oh, I'm awfully sorry.
Must be an obsession.
What an encounter!
- What're you doing tonight?
- It depends...
- What's this tube?
- Surprise.
I have one for you too,
but must water flowers first.
- Will you come along?
- Water flowers?
- What flowers?
- Jacek asked me.
He's left for two weeks.
Posh, isn't it.
- You like it?
- You're asking?
He lives the life of Reilly.
How much is it?
No idea. A big bundle.
You really would like
to live in an old brownstone?
With you?
Even under the bridge.
Under the bridge?
I like open spaces
and a thrill of emotion.
Water flowers?
Where's the furniture?
Zosia, I've cheated
you a bit.
Kuba!
What?
Your birthday present
from me.
Good heavens...
You had the money?
I'd been saving for a long time,
refusing to buy cookies.
And the Russians
and East Europeans
have bought the copyright
of the TV series. And a credit...
You secretive asshole.
You didn't ask my opinion.
I can withdraw the advance.
Not on your life!
God, how beautiful!
How did you know
it was my dream?
I know you a little.
Folks! It's today!
- Aren't you scared?
- Of what?
- The millennium!
- What millennium?
It's coming along! Tonight
everything is going crazy.
Mostly computers.
Things will be happening.
Zosia and Kuba!
Happy millennium!
In fact, the new millennium
starts in 2001.
And 2000 is the last year
of the old one.
But everything's going
crazy tonight.
That's media hysterics, only to have
all heave a sigh of relief after.
- Nothing's going to happen?
- It never did!
The last time was
Ever had presents like:
Let's stay home?
- Worse.
- Worse?!
Wanna hear why I didn't
become a body builder?
- Cause you learned to read and write?
- That too. But it's a secret.
I've never told
anyone about it.
You can tell us.
Not a peep. Promise.
- Since I was a frail boy...
- When you were about...
Ten... I wanted very much
to be strongly built
and asked mom and dad
to buy me dumbbells.
- What?!
- Weights to exercise with.
And they bought me... one.
How come?
You exercise with two.
Mom must've thought,
"Two at a time
would go to his head.
We'll buy him one
and next we'll see..."
But you can't exercise
with one!
I never got the other one.
You were
a poor neglected kid.
Had he really wanted to have
two, he'd have gotten them!
- You know how obstinate he is?
- I do.
Florka, I got
something for you.
Attention! Close your eyes.
- Attention...
- Come here, come...
Not only you
mull over this problem.
Come,
I'll show you something.
Kuba has bought it
for me.
You can spoil
everything.
We'll hang the Polish
version in the john.
Hi, Mom.
I've been calling you...
Where have you been?
- Why didn't you try my cell?
- You know I hate cells.
May you live to be a hundred.
Careful with the New Year Eve's party.
No, thank you.
We ignore the party.
How can you?
We have a New Year Eve's
party every day.
Something's bound to happen.
The computers won't manage...
They said on TV about special
duties in the banks...
It's food for morons...
A medial hysterics,
only to have everyone
heave a sigh of relief after...
- Where did you get it?
- From the wardrobe.
I'm a moron, then.
Cause you got excited
by that rubbish.
- What if you lose your money?
- Tell positive news sometimes.
Didn't I offer my wishes!
Must we fight even on your birthday?
But I'm not, Mom.
Nothing untoward will occur.
- We'll see, then.
- I'll call you in the New Year.
Love. Bye.
How many times did I tell you
not to take my things?
You used to wear this once?
Once. Take it off
or you'll damage it.
- Don't keep it. Donate to the poor.
- The first thing I bought abroad.
- Take it off.
- You put it on.
Don't get my goat!
My birthday is enough
- with the party the same day!
- Which do I choose for school?
- It's holidays.
- No time later.
- Which?
- This.
Show me. Certainly not!
- What have you done, Mom?!
- I photographed badly!
Don't you ever tear mementos.
Luckily, I got the negative.
When will you take off
the dress? Throw it away!
We really ignore the party?
Yes. Go to bed, come on.
Tomorrow's another day
full of sensation.
Mom's right. Bye, bye.
I told Grandma I wish
I were 15 years younger.
We could've been 15
years together.
We're lucky
to have met at all!
It might've been
different earlier.
You could not
have fancied me.
- Or you me?
- Or you me.
You creep! How could you
not have fancied me?!
Not at all! You are
incredibly beautiful!
I'll lift my eyelids
and you'll see then!
You want to go under
the knife? Crazy?
Wouldn't you like
to have a younger wife?
Repeat: you're
incredibly beautiful...
Folks! We really ignore it?
It's in 5 minutes.
On the double!
Two minutes!
I can't without makeup
in the new millennium.
The new one is next year.
Come!
- Mom, please!
- Don't start without me!
One minute left!
Quick, quick.
...5, 4, 3, 2, 1, zero!
Two thousand!
All the best. May this year
be better than the former
and not necessarily
than those to come.
She's asleep.
Thank you we are finally
moving out of this bedroom.
No problemo, Chief.
Get ready. I'll be back
and give you a hard time.
Come back and do it.
Well, not so bad!
The new millennium.
It has begun!
The commie times are over,
but Lenin's perennially alive
in the power plant.
You've been smoking?
How did you get here?
What's that dog?
Why waking me up?
And why yelling?
What's your business here.
Piss the fuck off!
- What piss off?
- Kuba, what's up?
- What Kuba?
- Jesus, it's a dream.
What're you doing
in my bed?!!!
In your bed???
I'm your husband!
What Kuba? Aren't you hiding
something from me?
It's a dream.
Like in the airport!
Sleep! Sleep!
It's a dream all right.
What about making
a little love, huh?
We'll talk about it
tomorrow.
What a nightmare I've had.
All right.
You'll tell me tomorrow.
Fuck such dreams.
Kuba! Make me coffee!
Oh, darn it, I've lost
my contact lenses.
Kuba! Florka! Wish
you'd find my contact lenses.
We're happy to move out
of this shack.
It's just running up and down,
like a lighthouse keeper!
I see better without them.
How did you behave
last night, huh?
You bashed my nose!
You flipped out?!
- Oh, fuck!
- Mind your French.
Jaruzelski's plans are
a significant initiative.
Why interested in Jaruzelski
all of a sudden?
That's what I needed!
So did I? I wanted a wife
to make me breakfast,
so I got one!
An unbuttered roll. Enjoy!
Why are you yelling at me?
Why should I make you
breakfast?
Sometimes you could've
made it for me... once.
What happened, darling?
You quarreled with Mom?
I hope you'll have gotten
over it by the evening.
Tad, wife, and the Swedes
are coming.
This dinner may set us well
till our dying day.
- Try your best, please.
- What Swedes?
Thank you for taking
interest in my business!
I've been cutting this deal
for half a year and you
don't remember it's tonight.
Oh, Jesus!
Aren't you going
to the university?
No, I'll take a day off.
Very good. You want
to prepare the reception.
I fuck receptions!
I must collect my thoughts!
Go ahead and I'll go to
earn dough, so that you
could take a day off
and collect your thoughts.
- Call me in case...
- Your cell?
Cell? My office may not
be a paragon of neatness,
but it's certainly
not in jail.
No! It can't be true!
It's a dream...
A very realistic nightmare!
Impossible, impossible...
No... possible.
The fucking Groundhog Day!
I wish I'd wanted to be
taller rather than younger!
Florka.
Not a minute longer...
- Hello.
- Hello.
- Any vacancies?
- Yes.
- Then a single if possible.
- I'll try...
- One night?
- Yes.
Or maybe the next two...
- Your ID, please.
- Here.
- But you're registered in Warsaw!
- For five generations.
- I can't check you in.
- Why?
- You kidding?
- No, I'm not. Why?
- These are the rules.
- Change them, then!
Of course, but
it'll take a while...
- I even know how long!
- Interesting. How long?
Two years and...
twenty days.
Then welcome in two years
and... twenty days.
Sexy glasses.
Marks, dollars, bonds...
Marks, dollars, bonds...
What?
Get lost, man!
Kuba, where are you?
- Hi.
- Hi.
We're at variance,
but I must stay overnight.
- At variance? Over what?
- We aren't? So much the better.
What have you done
to your hair?
Grown, cut?
Tell me what happened?
Oh, many happy returns
on your name day.
Name day, shname day.
I've left Darek!
You don't say?!
- Only 10 years too late.
- Your long hair was more becoming.
Ten years?
Three years after the wedding.
- You've known him for five!
- Can I sleep here?
I wanted at the hotel, but forgot
you have these commies!
I'll find something tomorrow.
What're you talking about?
Of course, you can.
- In my room or with Grandma?
- With Grandma?! She lives!
Good Mom is here.
Outta here.
Grandma?
Zosia! Come to me,
my darling name day girl.
Many happy returns
of the day!
- My dear Grandma!
- I've got pralines for you.
What's wrong?
Something happened?
I'm so happy to see you.
It's no good you just
walked out on him.
If he wasn't honest with you,
he should've left
if you're sure
you won't forgive him.
In my times women often
forgave men their cheating.
After all, they're men.
Grandma, times have changed.
I don't want to forgive him.
- Most important, I don't love him.
- You love someone else?
Yes.
You want to be with him
and something's in the way?
Yes.
- Is he married?
- That's not the problem.
What is, then?
I'll meet him in 8 years.
In 8 years...
and you love him already?
Yes, he's the love
of my life.
I see.
You're the only one
I can tell the truth to.
Promise you won't
laugh at me.
Promise.
I know my future life, the next
You do? How come?
I've lived through them.
It's a time warp.
Interesting...
I was in bed with Kuba
on Jan. 1, 2000
and left for the bathroom
for a moment.
On my return it was '87,
Darek was in bed,
whom I don't love, and Kuba,
that I do, had disappeared!
I'd dissuaded you from
marrying Darek,
but today I advice,
since it's a time warp
and know all about him,
try to find a remedy.
Something
could be salvaged.
Nothing can!
I can't be with Darek
since I met Kuba!
What remedy?
To enter the room before
he takes off his pants?
But I can't change his mindset.
Darek's a guy who
shouldn't start a family!
Aren't you jumping
to conclusions?
What would you do
if you were me?
If there was a time warp?
I'd certainly try to
remedy whatever possible.
I wouldn't move out
of the house for sure.
It's your home.
It's so good you're here.
- Teresa, you're here...
- Hi, Zosia.
- Outta here. Bye.
- Hi, Jurek.
- May I date you some day?
- What's so urgent?
You're married, but no wedding
ring today, so I thought...
Warm, warm.
Why don't you read
"Personal Attraction
from the First Sight
till Emotional Attachments..."
Who wrote it?
"Social Psychology" by Aronson,
Wilson, Alert; Warsaw 1997.
I'll sure read it.
'97? You mean '87?
Sure. But I have
other fish to fry.
I'm making a genuine
DDR coffee
Dad's brought from a business trip.
Isn't today your name day?
It is because it's today!
The pralines! Teresa!
Come here for a sec, come.
Excuse me,
I must've lost my way.
I'm looking for
the Sociology Dept. office...
Sociology is on Karowa St.
Somewhere else.
Open up!
I'm not disturbing, I hope.
A little. Goodbye. Go now.
It's far from here.
You aren't too polite.
A sympatico guy...
I know what I'm doing.
You crazy?
I give you coffee and you...
I'm so happy we'll be
drinking the coffee all alone!
In 10 years, we'll set up
a psychotherapeutic office!
- And me?
- You'll be treated there.
OK, OK...
How do I find Kuba?
And why me?!
Please be seated.
One moment.
You know what's the best
in the world?
Communism.
And what's the worst?
The fact that it's over here.
- You've flipped out?
- Yes, because I married you.
Are you writing poems?
We have visitors!
- You do.
- No food ready?
If you like to eat,
you could've done it.
- If you'd warned me.
- I warned you that I fuck it!
Zosia! I'm sorry. I clean forgot.
It's your name day today.
Forgive me.
All because
of that meeting.
You know how important
it is. I told you. Remember?
The Svensons are looking
for a site near Warsaw
to set up Ikea there.
They liked my 3 ha of wasteland.
It may be a gold mine
to set us for a lifetime.
I'll celebrate your name
day every day.
- What is it, anyway?
- I want you to leave me alone.
I will if you prepare the dinner.
You'll leave for a week!
Why? This is my home.
You leave... tomorrow for two weeks.
Tomorrow? Give me
two days at least.
I must get the folks
ready in the firm.
Will you leave
for two weeks?
Just make the dinner.
I beg you!
- There's nothing in the house.
- Nothing? I've provided everything!
Kabanosy, smoked sirloin,
ham! Everything!
You know what it took?!
Tickets to that film festival,
a color TV I bartered
for bikes for the twins
of the meat products manager.
Now I have access
to that supermarket
all year round from the back!
Everything's in the fridge.
I'll make the dinner.
Our last together.
My sweet...
And some good advice:
Better not tell them
about your holidays
in Sweden...
Come on, Zosia. I know
what, when and to whom.
It's a first class dinner.
I haven't eaten kabanosy
for months.
The last dinner I'm
making in this house.
I understand you. I'd like to suddenly
bolt from the kitchen, take a suitcase
and flee for ever.
- What's that, a modern kind of joke?
- She isn't kidding.
But it's irresponsible.
And how! I'll do it too.
Enough of this slavery.
What's this meeting in the house?!
There're restaurants...
Lars's congratulations on having
such a wonderful wife!
He's happy we'll be
business partners.
So am I! All the best!
Your health.
We Poles and the Swedes
have a lot in common.
We had a common king,
have a common sea.
I'll tell you about
my holidays in Sweden.
Ten years ago
in Oaxen Skargardskrog
n/ Stockholm!
Go ahead!
With Tadeusz here
we'd been going on holidays
together for 10 years...
Vodka, cigarettes, barter.
One had to make a living, no?
- He had a Fiat 125p.
- Yellow Bahama.
And I, a Polish trailer.
I was so young then, huh?
It was more difficult
to get than a flat.
- In 1977...
- I was refused my passport.
The holidays - in jeopardy.
And the possible pay
I could've lived off for a year.
My entrepreneurial gene
to the rescue.
Tadeusz tows me in
the trailer to winoujcie,
where he parks it on the ferry.
Having made friends
with a truck driver,
I had him tow me to
a campground n/ Stockholm.
And the next two months
saw me hustle the campground.
But in a cultured way, of course.
It was before I met Zosia.
But in a cultured way.
Before I knew it, all
my friends had gone home
and I was left in
the trailer in the campground!
- The fall semester had already begun...
- But your entrepreneurial gene?
I reported to the police
that my car had been stolen.
"Impossible," they say.
So I showed them the trailer.
That convinced them
there had had to be a car.
They didn't even ask
me about the car papers
and started looking for
the car all over Sweden...
I stayed at the hotel,
as they'd paid for it.
Finally, they found
nothing, of course.
Soon the cops came,
writhing with shame,
and suggested that they
tow me to the ferry.
So I sat at ease,
smoking a cigarette,
while a police Volvo
was towing my trailer.
A senior officer apologized:
"Nothing like that has happened
in my 30 years
on the force" he said.
I was waiting in winoujcie
in my Yellow Bahama...
My only holidays abroad
in a trailer without a car!
Lars wants to get it right.
Did the police look
for a car that was not?
Not at all!
Why did they look, then?
It boggled the suckers' minds
that one can pull such a fast one.
Did you deceive the police
to go and look for your car
- that never was?
- Aren't I saying they're suckers?
Lars says it's not funny.
No?
Shall we meet alone
without the husbands?
- With pleasure.
- To plot against us, huh?
Why? You'll do
yourselves in alone.
- How about tomorrow?
- OK.
Bye. Take care.
Thank you, Darek.
I'm sorry.
Good bye.
Everything was delicious.
Love. Good bye.
It was nice. Bye. Take care.
Thanks, Zosia. Svenson has
clearly fallen for you.
We got the deal closed, huh?
We don't. Your wasteland
will lie fallow.
How come? omianki -
the ideal site for IKEA!
IKEA will be in Janki.
In om-janki.
I've invited you for coffee,
because I think
we'll be the best
friends in 3 years.
I don't make friends easily.
But I know it'll pan out.
Why put it off?
I always liked you of all the wives
of our sharp operators...
I didn't,
which was a mistake.
You are worthier
than all of us combined.
No matter how resistant
I am to compliments,
it's nice to hear, anyway.
Since we're friends, tell me
who Darek cheats on me with?
What a question?!
I don't know if he does...
Even if I did,
you don't tell such things.
A friend to a friend?
- Then we're friends already?
- Very much so!
Would you if you knew
something about Tad?
Of, course!
You don't tell such things.
Deep down you're very unhappy.
Tad isn't too affectionate
and you still can't get over his fling
with the vice Miss Polonia.
How do you know?
Even if I mumbled
something when drunk...
...it was long ago and untrue!
- Sure.
Who does Darek
betray me with?
I don't know!
Find out from Tad.
How can they serve
coffee in glasses?
In what, then?
Waitress!
In 10 years, it'll be
a super sushi restaurant.
In this caf?
A Japanese style sushi restaurant.
Raw fish on rice.
- Yuck! An abomination!
- You'll gorge on it. You'll see.
- May I help you?
- With plastic?
So suddenly on May, 16, 1987
we'll start a lifelong friendship...
- Menu?
- That's in plastic covers.
I'll pay with cash.
Oh, darn it, May 16...
Bye.
- Grandma?
- Here!
- Pack up!
- I am.
I'm taking
you to the seaside!
Not to the seaside.
To the sanatorium.
I won't let you!
We've put the seaside
off for too long...
But a referral... so hard to get!
I waited for half a year.
- Where at the seaside?
- To the sanatorium...
You'll go to the sanatorium.
It's more beautiful in the fall.
I'm not thinking
about it at all.
What?
- I think...
- What's crossing your mind?
What if I had a beer?
This is OK, yes?
A history major, I can't
find a job in this country?
I... paint chimneys...
But wanted to be an archeologist.
We have plenty of work.
You must've fallen from grace.
- You must've been active...
- Nuts...
Why did you set up
labor unions?
We deluded ourselves
one could live a normal life!
- One can.
- No! You've proved we can't.
Fuck everything, then!
When I get my passport,
- we take Matt and leave. I won't...
- Good riddance.
No! I can't tell you
how I know it,
but things will be better.
Hold on for a while!
- How long?
- Till June 4, '89.
Communist Party is
for agreement and struggle
I'm glad you're happy.
The two of us here.
The only bright
side of the time warp.
- Jake, you like it?
- Uh-huh.
- Maybe this, then?
- For Christ's sake!
Which one then?
You can't decide.
I know.
Sometimes I think
it's a dream...
this future life, Kuba, Florka.
- What Florka?
- Your granddaughter.
Will I have Florka,
my great-granddaughter?
- Are you pregnant?
- Oh, darn it!
I'm not, dammit!
And I should be in 2 weeks!
If I want to have Florka...
Goddammit!
You'd rather wait for
that Kuba of yours?
Yes! To have Florka with him.
If what you say is true,
it will be another Florka.
What do I do, then?
Polish president.
Six letters, the third e?
Wasa.
What Wasa?
Polish President Bierut.
The 3rd necklace this week.
But it's a bargain.
See how beautiful they are?
This is
the homeland of amber.
We don't have money!
- Then borrow.
- Again?
I want to have Florka,
but can't return to Darek!
No way!
Should I return to let
him impregnate me?
You can't get pregnant
without it.
God, what a lowlife...
This will go with the dress
we bought yesterday.
Here. This is all I got.
So we can leave home
earlier.
Stop always bickering
with me over money!
Where do I take it from?
Your account.
You should earn more.
You give up the necklace?
I'm interested.
Moment!
I'm giving it some thought!
The bus carrying patients
from Warsaw to the sanatorium
fell into a ditch.
There are 15 injured.
Luckily, no deaths reported...
- Tea.
- Thank you.
Even if I met Kuba by accident,
what would I tell him?
"Excuse me, sir, I'd like
to have your child,
as, in 9 years, we'll be
together, anyway."
It should be put
more delicately...
Delicately?
Everything sucks!
This trip was to be for you,
whereas I pester you all the time.
Let's have fish.
It may be in short supply here.
At the seaside?!
If the Soviet Union had the Sahara,
sand would be in short supply.
What's so funny about it?
Careful, boy. You drive too fast.
Where's Mommy?
Name's Robert Kubica
from Krakw.
What're you doing, Rob?
I'm sorry, ladies.
That's all right.
I'd like to show you
the 18th century bridge
I mentioned to you.
- Would you like?
- Sure.
I like Sopot.
It's so quiet and peaceful.
Catch him! The SOB!
But it's my bike. Help!
What's going on there?
- But it's my bike.
- Gimme.
- Hey, leave him alone?
- What will you do to us?
Get lost, it's our bike now.
You get away.
- Give the bike back to him.
- But it's ours.
Get lost, kid.
You bandit.
I'm going to the police.
Kuba!
Oh, Jesus!
What happened?
- Oh, Jesus!!! It was him!
- Who?
Kuba!!!
Your Kuba?
I didn't know
he was in Sopot then.
How come in Sopot?
Not in Canada?
- Grandma, forgive me, I have to run!
- That goes without saying.
Stop!!!
Oh, darn it, crazy!
Tired of life?
Where's the other one?
I saw you a moment ago!
I took him to the station.
- Was it Mr. Kuba Radecki?
- Maybe. I don't know.
Where did you find him?
- He stayed in the Writers' Retreat.
- Writers' Retreat? Thank you!
A regular crazy.
Excuse me. Did Mr. Kuba
Radecki stay here?
- Are you a member?
- No...
Sorry, no information for strangers.
This is a Writers' Retreat.
- I need it very badly.
- I understand,
but I can't help, anyway.
- You can! But you don't want to!
- Makes no difference.
Miss Ra,
water that hare's-foot fern.
What a country.
Secretive about anything.
We're in the NATO for a year now!
In 12 years, that is.
- They didn't tell you?
- No.
You must've botched it.
- Will we be in the NATO?
- Yeah.
Hello... Excuse me.
I was passing by
when a motorbike was
leaving this place.
The man in the back
dropped his keys.
It may be important.
My husband took one
of the guests to the station.
Thank you. His wife is
returning from Jurata,
so we'll give her
the keys tomorrow.
He may have trouble
entering the house.
Yeah... But we can't help it.
If it's somebody from Warsaw...
my grandson is returning there by car.
He can take them to him.
Yes?
What a lucky coincidence...
- I'll give you the address.
- Very good.
No?!
Close to my place...
where the laundry is.
Grandma, you're a genius.
You may want to return
to Warsaw immediately?
I must walk the dog!
Come!
Where's hello to your husband?
You've never walked him.
I must start it one day...
I'm taking the car!
The car to walk the dog?
To the seaside with the dog?
Come, come.
Kuba used to have
a dog too, a poodle.
Embarrassed to walk it,
he'd do it after dark.
Maybe we'll luck out.
It's here.
Aren't you exaggerating?
You've been away for 3 days.
I worry myself stiff.
You were to go away.
- Should I vanish?
- That'd be the best...
We have to talk
about your problem.
You don't like
something about me?
Let's think. Hmm.
You smoke in bed,
don't keep your word,
ignore my opinion...
Rather than a friend,
you behave like my owner...
I'm decent, respected,
and highly regarded.
Your humors are becoming
more and more irritating.
With a less tolerant guy...
With a more tolerant - no humors.
I wonder if there are any
more tolerant than me.
You do what you please!
- For which I demand a bit of respect!
- I have none for you.
- Why?
- Because...
You know your problem?
More serious than you think!
Go to a shrink
to treat your head!
It will be cooler for you.
You think your mistress
is misbehaving, huh?
I fuck it.
What's the matter?
Away with that rust heap!
Oh, Jesus!
Goddammit!
Jeanette, a hostess, 21.
In Darek's bedsitter.
She carries a thermos bottle after him
when they go hunting.
DAREK had a bedsitter?
Tad is not sure. Maybe
somebody gives him the keys.
I can't believe it hasn't
registered on you.
- You aren't even emotional about it...
- How many times can you be?
When I make sure,
I'll call you. Home?
Not home. Better my cell...
OK, home.
How beautiful it'd be if every one
of us had a phone in the pocket.
- You call when you wish...
- As if in a DDR sci-fie flick?
I have the feeling it will
be in 9, 10 years...
- In Poland? In 110!
- That's what I wanted to say.
"I can't give you much
I can't give you much
Cause I don't have enough!
I can't give you much
I can't give you much
I'm so sorry..."
"Charm that time's blunted
The clink of empty glass,
Dream's not come true...
A divided world,
Thoughts deserving bars..."
I like to watch fire...
- I love you, Zosia.
- I do too.
I like to watch fire...
- I love you.
- But I don't.
How can you do it?
I love yesterday, but not today?!
You have an awful character.
You're an egoist...
'Egoist is one who doesn't
think about me,' yes?
- And you cheat me to boot.
- What cheat?
Cheat on me!
Wait a minute.
How come I cheat on you?
With whom?
And why should I?
Why? Because
you've never loved me.
Who with? A list beginning
with our neighbor Jola till
- the asses you meet in the street?
- I don't even know her name's Jola!
- Sure. It'll be in a year's time...
- You're obsessed with betrayal.
By the way who's Kuba?
Kuba is not. Not yet.
But will be.
You're not quite
normal.
Your mom couldn't settle
down and you can't either.
I was the fool not to have met
someone before I met you.
- Girls warned me: A ladies' man...
- They were jealous!
But I wanted to change you!
Live as you please but without me!
Doesn't my love
for you matter?
I don't betray you, have no flings,
and love you and only you?
But for the truth,
I'd almost believe you...
- How do I prove it?
- I don't love you, Darek.
But don't worry.
We'll divorce in... '95.
You'll stay with that slut
I've caught you with.
I'll meet Kuba...
Florka'll admire him more than you.
By saying so
you activate bad energy.
What Florka?
Our daughter Florka.
Are you pregnant?
Hence the moods!
She was to be Karen!
Actually, I'm not pregnant.
That's the problem.
You aren't pregnant.
Do you want...
I want Florka.
All right, let her be Florka.
So you love me, yes?
Good.
So you won't go!
Zbysiu! Hi, pal!
Of course we're going.
I get awfully lost.
I've cleared everything
with Zosia.
She is wise and understands
that men have hobbies!
Till tomorrow. Bye.
Kuba, Florka,
where are you?
- In the kitchen.
- It won't hurt? And no infection?
No. Oxygen in this water
is liberated under pressure
and the bacteria
have no chances.
- Careful, Kuba.
- He knows everything.
Except the whereabouts
of the Spanish gold.
- What happened to it?
- Erudites, forget it.
- Does it hurt?
- Quiet, I'm talking.
In Spain when the civil war
started, the Republicans
sent a part of their
gold reserves to Odessa.
- To the Russkies?
- No, the Bolsheviks...
Crazy?
They thought it'd be
safer there.
- They were to get tanks.
- How much was it?
Not many tanks,
but a $ 500,000 of gold.
The fourth biggest
reserve in the world.
- What happened to it?
- Ask Putin.
- Who?
- OK. Go now.
- Watch out over there.
- Hush...
Hey, Kuba!
- Hello!
- Hello.
Come!
The story of the origin
of the film is quite obvious
if not banal, so to speak.
While on holiday in Moscow,
I was offered to make
this film.
When an opportunity
knocks, why not?
Odessa to filmmakers
is a magic city.
Why magic?
lzaak Babel,
Benia Shout, Bulghakov,
Eisenstein and The Battleship
Potemkin, you understand...
Was the film to be
called Sickle and Hammering?
Yes, it's true.
Why is it called differently?
Answer it yourself.
Any other questions?
Wiser ones?
When it comes to Odessa,
one thing interests me.
In 1936, during the civil war,
the Republican Spain
deposited its gold reserves,
over a $ 500,000 in Odessa.
The gold never returned to Spain.
I wonder what happened to it?
The question is certainly
not for our guests...
Excuse me, what paper
do you represent?
Gazeta Wyborcza.
Never heard of...
Who invited you here?
Due to a time warp,
but it's a long story.
Thank you, Ms...
Any more questions?
Mr. Skucha, please!
I'd like to say hello
to Mr. Kuba Radecki.
I admire your scripts!
Errr... it's nice.
Thank you very much...
I've only penned one,
but thanks, anyway...
Since I have the floor,
why aren't you in Canada
on a scholarship?
I'm leaving next week...
How do you know?
I know a lot about you!
My name's Zosia Albrecht
and I'd like you
to remember me.
Ladies and gentlemen,
let me emphasize
that a cooperation
with the Soviet Film industry
is very important
to the Polish cinema,
a chance for
a perestroika in this field.
Is this supposed
to be an economy?
Don't you see what
the red spiders
have done to this country,
the agriculture and industry?
Shortage of butter?! No butter
in an agricultural country?
In 10 years we'll have butter so
expensive that it'll pay to buy it abroad.
Yes? And the situation
in the meat market?
Even worse. A lot of meat,
but nobody will eat it
because of the mad cow
disease and the bird flu...
I've been to Moscow and the DDR.
And saw how solid the communism is!
It won't fall apart
in the nearest 200 years!
Just like this lock!
Thank you. You've
been very helpful.
The pay is 1,200 zloty.
There'll be butter and meat,
but nobody will need them...
What else will there be?
Freedom, but nobody
will notice it.
- Good bye, ma'am.
- Good bye.
- Sweetie...
- Yes?
Will you buy your
cupcake a little car?
May be second hand?
- What is it?
- Super from downstairs.
Your drain must've burst,
cause it's flooding my apartment.
What drain? Moment.
It's dry in here.
Nothing has burst!
Maybe under the bathtub?
I have a plummer with me.
Let him take a look
at that drain.
All right. Moment.
Cover yourself.
Coming!
What drain?
This.
Now you know why
I don't love you...
- It's not what you think!
- I'm seeing it.
I love you for sure.
You have your clothes
packed outside the door.
Don't try to come back.
I've changed the locks.
Bravo! Bravo!
This is the way with men!
How could you do that
to me, you pig?!
Some kind of curio city!
Curiosity rather.
Have you given it
enough thought?
Yes, I have a week before
Kuba leaves for Canada.
- What if you don't make it?
- I'll follow him.
Marta has a friend in
the Canadian Embassy.
- And the money?
- I'll rent my house if need be.
You're in such despair?
- So he's finally noticed you.
- I guess so.
But I can't go the whole hog.
He'd think I'm a crazy nymphomaniac!
Why don't you have
a heart-to-heart talk with him?
He may believe it?
Do you believe me?
I think you don't,
but you're too kind to hurt me...
Oh, here it is!
May I help you?
I've shut myself out. The keys,
passport, and ticket are inside.
- You have no spare keys?
- Inside.
There's a window
open upstairs.
Exactly. Upstairs...
- Where are those keys?
- In the handbag...
You're climbing into my house?!
I don't know you!
You have my moped
as collateral.
The salt for my mouth -
a blues for the guitar
A few shortcuts too
a couple of greenbacks...
No, no. Anything but that.
I can't give you much
I can't give you much
Cause I don't have enough...
- What're you doing?
- Let me in.
- No way.
- It's also my house, dammit!
- You have the bedsitter.
- Stop kidding, Zosia.
It's clear.
Let's part company with class.
I'm awfully sorry
for the whole thing.
I want to apologize.
Why flirting with Miss Jeanette?
- Zosia! You don't know anything.
- I know everything, Darek.
How about going
hunting tomorrow?
A romantic outing.
Just you and me.
I've rented a beauty of
a lodge n/ aga.
No, Darek.
Stop pestering me.
- I have nowhere to go.
- The bedsitter.
- They've given me notice to vacate!
- Rent another.
Give me the dog at least!
From this place of such
quality and significance
in our history, we connect
with all our peers
in the Polish land
wherever they are.
Be it in schools, colleges,
or workstations.
What we've been weighing
concerns each and everyone.
- What're you looking for?
- I can't find my passport.
Have you seen it
or know where it is?
In a drawer, I think.
- Which?
- In the Passport Office.
And this on top of all.
... on a smaller outer scale,
but sometimes
maybe on a larger
inner scale...
...and cannot return
its Westerplatte...
... that it cannot return its
Westerplattel
Why, this is live?
Exactly, but I've heard it
already.
Now he'll say:
enough for today.
Enough for today.
You believe me now?
- I got you!
- I've won.
- You distracted me.
- I didn't say a word.
- You talk all the time.
- You don't know how to lose.
I do.
May I ask you for a while?
- Let the kid sometimes win.
- Too clever and will know it's phony.
- Lose once. Do it for me, OK?
- OK. It's not educational, though.
It is. Kids should be
brought up to be winners.
Ma'am psychologist,
according to statistics,
psychologists make
the most pedagogical mistakes.
Don't argue. Lose.
Once more?
I don't promise.
- A ticket to ary.
- 850 zloty.
Transfer in Zielona Gra.
Oh, it's you.
We should stop meeting
in this way.
Yes? How should
we start meeting, then?
I had the feeling in
the office that we sparked.
Will you go along on
a romantic outing?
- A younger lover is a tautology.
- Yes? You heap praise.
In your case
it's an oxymoron.
Yes? Maybe. Moron in
English means an imbecile.
- Where to, Pussy?
- Zakopane.
I wanted to Kazimierz. So what?
I'll change for Zakopane.
It's the wrong bus!
I can't go along with
someone who doesn't
know what oxymoron is.
- Are YOU his wife?
- I wonder too.
So... please come on in.
I will if that woman leaves.
Errr... the lady is leaving.
She is a wife, but not mine,
the wife of a friend of
a friendly... hunt.
Spare us the details.
Just let her leave.
- I'll wait in the kitchen.
- You're invited.
Vodka?
Yes, please!
I've gone through
that too.
Wonderful of you
to have come!
I couldn't think
of a nicer surprise!
You should've decided
to go along with me.
It'd've been a romantic trip without
this... misunderstanding.
Hush... You'll frighten
away the game.
- I'm sorry.
- Quiet.
Only the two of us.
But two hunters came along.
One had a pregnant bitch.
How do you know that
Grabarek's bitch would litter?
How did you find me here?
We were supposed to go to aga?!
I know everything. Party
apparatchiki occupied the lodge.
You had to rent
private lodgings in ary.
So you knew everything?
Do you know the number
of the winning lottery ticket?
lt'd give me some advantage!
Are you drinking vodka?
You astound me!
It's just the beginning.
You came as you hadn't
been able to stay without me.
So you love me
and won't leave me.
I love only you, Kuba.
Pregnancy test, please.
What do you want?!
A test to check if
I'm pregnant.
You see it if
you look at me.
Oh, darn it. I forget
how benighted you are!
- Benighted?!
- Backward.
Backward?!
Lawyer's Office
All right... now one of those
indiscreet questions.
Shoot.
When did you stop
...cohabiting?
What's the best answer?
The truth.
Since your emotional
bonds stopped etc., etc.
It should've been
half a year ago at least...
Put it down: 12 years ago.
Yes, but you've been
married for 3 years?
Yes. I always have
problems with that.
Write we haven't been
cohabiting... for 2 years...
...for two and a half.
You file for divorce
without pointing the guilty party?
No, it's all his fault.
In the States, we'd take
him to the cleaners,
but here I'll have to
leave him socks at least.
Zosia,
I know you're there!
Please let me in.
I see you through the window
sit and write something.
What's the matter?
What game are you playing?!
Why have you taken the car?!
Open up or I'll shoot
through the locks.
Hey! Calm down,
or I call the cops.
I'm awfully sorry.
My wife must've fallen asleep
and I've forgotten the keys...
I know you're divorcing.
Do it in a civilized way.
Some respect for the neighbors.
Sorry.
Of course, you're right.
Since you know everything,
how about a coffee to make up?
In another life.
- Zosia!!!
- Hi.
Zosia, why here?
Miss Babs, a pregnancy test
and the results on my desk.
Please wait.
My boss doesn't get it that
impregnation in vitro is the future.
He tells me to terminate
my research,
...because it's nothing doing.
- It's not!
Let's not talk about it.
- How are things?
- I've filed for divorce.
I don't envy you.
Those partings, returns,
crying, weeping... a nightmare.
In such a plight, you have to go out,
to meet someone!
Let's go to an Enamored Ball.
Let's go together.
To an Enamored Ball?
They'll take us for dykes!
lt'd be an idea!
I prefer guys, but my
dreamboat has another one
and pays me no attention.
Leave those stamps.
A fine guy, occupied,
doesn't notice others.
What a pity...
We seem to be the only
ones without partners.
That's the point.
We'll find someone.
An Enamored Ball!
We're super gals!
Fantastic goods: two married gals,
including one pregnant.
Let's have a good time.
Kebab, please.
- We're short of...
- How come? I want kebab!
No more. How about
spare ribs or mutton?
And this?
It's rare. I've put it
away for myself.
Please give it to me!
Don't argue. I'm a guest here
and you're to wait on me!
Here.
Zosia!
Hi.
You know one another.
Marta - Teresa - Jurek.
Hi.
- You alone?
- And you?
I've come alone,
but won't leave alone!
Cut the cocksure bit!
Let's have a drink.
Thanks a lot.
I'll find my husband tonight,
which a fortune teller predicted!
That's where she is!
For a 1,000 zloty a pop.
What? I can tell
you the same gratis.
She also said I'd be
a great success
with a workmate in the future!
We'll have psychotherapeutic
office in Warsaw in 10 years.
Forget it. It's not the US.
What will happen
to me?
Your first child in vitro
will be born in November.
Don't go to Bulgaria on holidays,
or they'll burglarize your apartment.
I told you about in vitro,
but not about Bulgaria.
The one in glasses will be
nominated for Oscar in '94 or '95
for a film he'll make in France.
And the one with his back to me
will be my husband in 9 years.
Then go tell him!
I'll do it!
Excuse me, if you're game for it,
my friend tells fortunes!
by the entrance.
No, it's gratis. I barged in,
as you have special good news.
Yes... what, for instance?
- Something with Oscar for you...
- That's my uncle's name.
...about a film in France.
Impossible... I've just got
an offer... from France...
Zosia, come, come on!
I must've seen you
at a press conference?
Yes, the lady asked
about the Spanish gold!
Does chiromancy
know about me?
You'll have a private
TV station in a few years.
Don't let your son
go hiking in the mountains.
Iwo is crazy indeed about climbing.
This is fantastic!
Three withes
as if in Macbeth!
Excuse me, a call.
- Aren't you interested in the future?
- I don't believe it.
I have three prophesies
for you.
I feel honored.
The first one?
You'll be asked to dance
and won't be able to refuse...
- The first has come true.
- And another one?
- We'll soon be married.
- I'm not asking about the 3rd one.
It wasn't as funny
as it was supposed to be.
A pity...
But we'll be happy later.
Write the "Waiters" series
you're considering!
It'll be a hit!
The 3rd prophesy, that.
What series?
It's not to be a series...
You have such a good time,
I couldn't find you...
I wasn't hiding.
I saw it.
Let's return home.
I have a headache
and my stomach aches too.
Because of
a poisoned kebab!
- Drink some vodka.
- No vodka! We're going home!
Good night.
Bye.
Who was that woman?
Lidka? Just his wife.
Very jealous.
- Could I offer you a drink?
- Sure.
And what?
He was to be divorced
in '87... A flop.
Wait...
Sorry. I'm leaving...
Howdy, Darek.
You? Really?
Three strikes and I'm out.
I know what oxymoron is!
The same numbers?
It's destiny.
- Shall we dance?
- What for?
Cha-cha-cha.
Hello. Mr. Kuba, I presume.
Cutting in.
Zosia, Zosia...
- You sure want it out?
- Enough arguing.
- It emits bad energy.
- I haven't felt it.
So you think me crazy.
All right. Say it.
You think me crazy, yes?
- I think it's a very pretty dresser.
- But I don't want it!
Don't you understand
that it emits sorrow!
Let's take it to a second hand store
to make someone happy.
Go ahead as you wish.
I'm finished with it!
- Hello...
- Hello.
You're really stalking me.
Not today. I'm taking
things to the laundry.
What're you doing with
this dresser?
It was a present for my wife,
but she hates it...
To leave it here?
A beautiful 19th cen. dresser?!
If it isn't liked,
away with it.
- Really throwing it away?
- Really.
- May I take it, then?
- Of course. You want it packed?
Into my car if you could.
- Your wife won't be angry?
- She's never liked it.
I hope you didn't have
a hard time for the ball?
What's this thing
about prophesies?
- A joke?!
- Sure.
I don't prophesy the future.
I've lived through it.
Meaning?
I'm a bit tired telling
about it, but no matter.
I had this time warp
in 2000.
In 2000, we're a very
happy married couple,
bringing up my daughter
Florka I'm pregnant with,
who adores you.
I regret not to be younger
and not meeting you earlier.
One day I'm 12 years
younger in the year '87
with my ex
I wouldn't want to be with
or even touch
with a 10 foot pole.
But you're married.
Seems things will stay that way.
And you think me
crazy to boot.
Maybe not crazy but
a bit... an eccentric person.
Still I don't know how to convince
you that I'm telling the truth.
So you wanted to be
younger and it happened?
I know it sounds awful.
If I wanted to be rich
or to speak Japanese,
it wouldn't come true.
I just thought
that if we finally meet,
you'll drop everything for me...
- You would like a guy like that?
- Yes.
- But I have a wife.
- But it's me. Zosia.
When are you
leaving for Canada?
Tomorrow.
We would fail, anyway...
I must wait for you.
I won't follow you
like an idiot...
I'll wait. Worst case scenario -
we'll meet in '95 and get
married a year later.
So we have some time, yes?
If you believed,
it'd be different.
If I kissed a frog,
it'd change into a queen.
And when I kiss the queen,
then?
Thanks for
the dresser, anyway.
May you be a full success
in Canada...
You too... in returning
to the right time.
They got soiled a bit.
Luckily, I take them to the laundry,
but don't collect them...
Laundry
Everything sucks now...
- When can we talk?
- Aren't we now?
You won't forgive me?
- I've changed.
- Same here.
Why so headstrong?
You've never been such!
And you took my kindness
for weakness of character.
- Let me return.
- No.
Your divorce petition
will misfire, anyway.
Why?
You said the breakup
was 21l2 years ago.
Didn't we make love in ary?
Just a sexual intercourse
to impregnate me.
Speak for yourself.
Like it or lump it, no way.
Not because of my fault.
We'll see.
You haven't given
me all my things back...
What?
Hunting trophies
and sports equipment!
I'll soon sent those.
- Send me the dumbbells at least!
- All right...
That idiot won't leave me alone.
It's dumbbells this time...
Has Mr. Kuba Radecki
taken off to Canada?
How should I know?
Canada is here.
Dumbbell! You had one
when you were little...
It's a real time warp!
Do you believe me?
I know it's impossible.
You've always been so rational.
It fell out of the dress pocket...
I couldn't reach you.
You didn't leave
your phone number.
- Jake, goddammit, who's this woman?
- Don't call me Jake!
- I'm Kuba's next wife.
- My pleasure!
Thank God
we have you back.
What happened?
You lost consciousness for a while.
Your husband is coming.
My husband?
I don't want it.
I'm divorcing him. Really.
You haven't taken off?
- Meaning?
- To Canada.
- I ran there to see you off.
- To Canada? Why?
What am I doing here?
You came to see off Marta...
Will she be all right?
It often happens during pregnancy...
Shortage of hemoglobin.
Are you pregnant?
- We're going to have a girl.
- Florka will have a sister?
Florka?
Who's got me with child?
I... I guess?
- Which is it?
- Month?
- Year.
- 2000.
I'm so happy
I'm not younger!
We have moved in already.
- Excuse me?
- Nothing.
Let's not tell Florka
you fainted. She'd worry.
- You've left her alone?
- Alone?
Florka!
Mom!
Florka!
Take the car next time.
Kuba and I were playing
when you called one.
I'm sorry.
Zosia, darling! At last.
We've been waiting...
My beloved Grandma!
I know everything.
Will you have tea?
I have the answer
to your question.
How much does
the Trojan horse weigh?
The answer is:
plus Odysseus. Each in
armor - about 100 kilo
times 51 - 5,100.
Since the horse weighed
about 12, 000 it's...
Seventeen thousand
and a hundred altogether.
A bus with sanatorium
patients had an accident.
Fifteen injured.
Luckily, no deaths.
I've won!
Dad! It's not pedagogical.
- Kids are brought up to be winners.
- Why don't you win, then?
To my father
Cast of Characters
in order of appearance
the Polish Institute of Film Art,
a Juliusz Machulski film
HOW MUCH
THE TROJAN HORSE WEIGHS?
Starring
Passenger Zosia Radecka...
- Where's Ticket Office 10?
- Ticket-Sales Point 3.
Repeat Passenger Radecka, age 40...
It's me.
- Excuse me?
- They're paging my name.
Age 40?
- Excuse me?
- Are you 40?
- None of your business.
- Today's your birthday!
A surprise for you
on behalf of the airport.
Blow them out, please.
You kidding?
May she live
to be a hundred...
Costume Designer
Makeup
Sound
Music
Edited by
Production Managers
Kuba!
Executive Producer
Florka? Kuba!
Coproducers
Director of Photography
Producer
To be quite blunt?
It's no good.
I can't take it any more.
We must change the bedroom
or move out altogether.
May she live
to be a hundred...
We made a deal:
not this birthday!
- Mom...
- Thank you.
Beautiful!
No need to make breakfast.
- Well then...
- What?
- Is it different?
- From what?
- Yesterday.
- No, it's not.
But let's not talk
about it, please.
Not about my age.
When I was your age,
...my today's seemed ancient.
- And it's not?
No. Every day in every way
mom's getting better and better.
When I turned 20, I promised myself
to go to Paris on this birthday,
and jump off the Eiffel Tower.
But then I jump after you,
and take you to the restaurant
on the top floor.
- That's where James Bond landed?
- Exactly.
And what's its name?
- Jules Verne.
- Jules Verne.
- You couldn't've managed.
- Me?
You have to book a table
there half a year earlier.
I know the matre d'.
He'd squeeze us in.
- What's his name?
- Jules Verne.
You local idiot,
the local moron said,
would you like to see
a blockbuster with me?
The local cretin replied,
With pleasure,
since I'm in love with
you in some measure.
- I can't stand it. Stop or I'll puke.
- You hate the poet Tuwim.
Dad, how much did
the Trojan horse weigh?
- Empty or with the crew inside?
- Oh, gosh...
That's what we need.
Gerberas? I never like
them or trucks either.
It's no truck
but a Hummer.
Good.
I got to hang up.
I'm happy to have found you.
Zosia, many happy
returns of the day.
What a murderous memory?
I wish you... since
you've found happiness...
...good health,
which guarantees everything.
- Thank you.
- Here you are.
Hi, Kuba!
How pale you are.
You should go out
and get suntanned.
- Sure. Hi, Darek.
- Hi, Dad.
A bit in a hurry...
Thanks for the flowers.
You shouldn't have bothered
so early in the morn.
I've just come to take her.
Where's hello to Daddy?
Grandma's dying to see you.
You'll even stay overnight.
Can't Grandma put that off?
I can't tomorrow -
going hunting.
I put the hunt off especially
to give you best wishes.
How lucky I am.
Thanks.
You can always call
me to make a date.
A permission for an audience.
I misbehaved as usual.
I'll drive with Dad,
but you'll collect me, yes?
Sure.
- And I'll tell him...
- No. It's not the right time.
By the way can I take
the antlers back?
Great. They're ready.
I'll fetch them.
- Well, how's school?
- It's holidays.
Got good grades? The 5th grade
is no piece of cake.
- I'm in the 6th.
- How time flies...
Yeah.
- Zosia, how about a comeback?
- Excuse me?
We make such a beautiful family.
Would you like Dad to remarry Mom?
- Mom's has a husband already.
- You've made a nest in my house.
Excuse me?
A nest in your house?
- Kuba and I paid you off long ago.
- Yes, you did to build a nest.
Thanks. They're changing
the mains. High time.
- So... let's go.
- Good bye.
And it's gonna drag...
So many years after the divorce,
as if we were still bound.
- You are.
- With what?
Florka.
Dad, I got to tell you
something important.
First, let me see if they're
putting the mains right.
I'm awfully sorry for
my former life,
for not having met you earlier,
that Florka's not your daughter,
but must be shared
with her ex father.
You think that our natural daughter
would be finer?
Since I live with Kuba
and he brings me up,
I'd like my name
to be Albrecht-Radecka.
You're stabbing me
in the heart!
I also bring you up...
- What happened?
- Hey, you alive, mister?
I swear I've never...
And into the pit
with those antlers!
I wish he'd broken his neck.
He might've broken his leg
trying to save the antlers.
So the name change
is out of the question?
Florka asked Darek to agree
to change her name to Radecka?
Not to change,
but to add to Albrecht.
She's going to high school.
Kuba's familiar to TV viewers.
So she wouldn't like to explain
why her name's different.
Her name would be
Albrecht after Darek
plus Radecka after Kuba.
When she told him that,
he fell into the pit.
You're proof that God or at least
Providence exists.
Me? Why?
You freed yourself from a tyrant
husband, met a super guy
whom your daughter
adores more than her dad.
- What happened to your eye?
- Nothing.
- I bumped against the cabinet.
- He did it again?
- You should have him...
- Nobody did anything.
Away with this number!
Outta here.
- Bye.
- Bye darling.
Hold your own on this birthday.
See you at work Monday.
Happy New Year. Bye.
That SOB batters her.
Unbelievable.
Wife beater.
And they could never
have met.
I remember the day
he came to our Dean's office.
Isn't your name day
today, Zosia?
Must be, because it's today.
I must've... gotten lost.
I'm looking for
the Sociology Dept. office.
- It's two blocks away from here.
- I'll walk there with you.
You are having a class
and will be late.
No big deal
if I come late.
And she fell into the trap.
How come you remember
when it happened?
- I have a good episodic memory.
- What?!
Concerned with my own
experiences.
Hi, Grandma.
B. November 11, 1918,
died a tragic death May 17, 1987
a. k. a. Wasp,
the Home Army soldier
So... I've turned 40.
I sometimes miss you badly.
Thank you for everything,
as I know you're watching
over me all the time.
I wish Florka had
gotten to know you
and you had met Kuba.
How much does
the Trojan horse weigh?
There was an English
version. Sold out now.
Forty?
- How do you know?
- Excuse me?
- My age's none of your business.
- I meant the price in zloty.
Oh, I'm awfully sorry.
Must be an obsession.
What an encounter!
- What're you doing tonight?
- It depends...
- What's this tube?
- Surprise.
I have one for you too,
but must water flowers first.
- Will you come along?
- Water flowers?
- What flowers?
- Jacek asked me.
He's left for two weeks.
Posh, isn't it.
- You like it?
- You're asking?
He lives the life of Reilly.
How much is it?
No idea. A big bundle.
You really would like
to live in an old brownstone?
With you?
Even under the bridge.
Under the bridge?
I like open spaces
and a thrill of emotion.
Water flowers?
Where's the furniture?
Zosia, I've cheated
you a bit.
Kuba!
What?
Your birthday present
from me.
Good heavens...
You had the money?
I'd been saving for a long time,
refusing to buy cookies.
And the Russians
and East Europeans
have bought the copyright
of the TV series. And a credit...
You secretive asshole.
You didn't ask my opinion.
I can withdraw the advance.
Not on your life!
God, how beautiful!
How did you know
it was my dream?
I know you a little.
Folks! It's today!
- Aren't you scared?
- Of what?
- The millennium!
- What millennium?
It's coming along! Tonight
everything is going crazy.
Mostly computers.
Things will be happening.
Zosia and Kuba!
Happy millennium!
In fact, the new millennium
starts in 2001.
And 2000 is the last year
of the old one.
But everything's going
crazy tonight.
That's media hysterics, only to have
all heave a sigh of relief after.
- Nothing's going to happen?
- It never did!
The last time was
Ever had presents like:
Let's stay home?
- Worse.
- Worse?!
Wanna hear why I didn't
become a body builder?
- Cause you learned to read and write?
- That too. But it's a secret.
I've never told
anyone about it.
You can tell us.
Not a peep. Promise.
- Since I was a frail boy...
- When you were about...
Ten... I wanted very much
to be strongly built
and asked mom and dad
to buy me dumbbells.
- What?!
- Weights to exercise with.
And they bought me... one.
How come?
You exercise with two.
Mom must've thought,
"Two at a time
would go to his head.
We'll buy him one
and next we'll see..."
But you can't exercise
with one!
I never got the other one.
You were
a poor neglected kid.
Had he really wanted to have
two, he'd have gotten them!
- You know how obstinate he is?
- I do.
Florka, I got
something for you.
Attention! Close your eyes.
- Attention...
- Come here, come...
Not only you
mull over this problem.
Come,
I'll show you something.
Kuba has bought it
for me.
You can spoil
everything.
We'll hang the Polish
version in the john.
Hi, Mom.
I've been calling you...
Where have you been?
- Why didn't you try my cell?
- You know I hate cells.
May you live to be a hundred.
Careful with the New Year Eve's party.
No, thank you.
We ignore the party.
How can you?
We have a New Year Eve's
party every day.
Something's bound to happen.
The computers won't manage...
They said on TV about special
duties in the banks...
It's food for morons...
A medial hysterics,
only to have everyone
heave a sigh of relief after...
- Where did you get it?
- From the wardrobe.
I'm a moron, then.
Cause you got excited
by that rubbish.
- What if you lose your money?
- Tell positive news sometimes.
Didn't I offer my wishes!
Must we fight even on your birthday?
But I'm not, Mom.
Nothing untoward will occur.
- We'll see, then.
- I'll call you in the New Year.
Love. Bye.
How many times did I tell you
not to take my things?
You used to wear this once?
Once. Take it off
or you'll damage it.
- Don't keep it. Donate to the poor.
- The first thing I bought abroad.
- Take it off.
- You put it on.
Don't get my goat!
My birthday is enough
- with the party the same day!
- Which do I choose for school?
- It's holidays.
- No time later.
- Which?
- This.
Show me. Certainly not!
- What have you done, Mom?!
- I photographed badly!
Don't you ever tear mementos.
Luckily, I got the negative.
When will you take off
the dress? Throw it away!
We really ignore the party?
Yes. Go to bed, come on.
Tomorrow's another day
full of sensation.
Mom's right. Bye, bye.
I told Grandma I wish
I were 15 years younger.
We could've been 15
years together.
We're lucky
to have met at all!
It might've been
different earlier.
You could not
have fancied me.
- Or you me?
- Or you me.
You creep! How could you
not have fancied me?!
Not at all! You are
incredibly beautiful!
I'll lift my eyelids
and you'll see then!
You want to go under
the knife? Crazy?
Wouldn't you like
to have a younger wife?
Repeat: you're
incredibly beautiful...
Folks! We really ignore it?
It's in 5 minutes.
On the double!
Two minutes!
I can't without makeup
in the new millennium.
The new one is next year.
Come!
- Mom, please!
- Don't start without me!
One minute left!
Quick, quick.
...5, 4, 3, 2, 1, zero!
Two thousand!
All the best. May this year
be better than the former
and not necessarily
than those to come.
She's asleep.
Thank you we are finally
moving out of this bedroom.
No problemo, Chief.
Get ready. I'll be back
and give you a hard time.
Come back and do it.
Well, not so bad!
The new millennium.
It has begun!
The commie times are over,
but Lenin's perennially alive
in the power plant.
You've been smoking?
How did you get here?
What's that dog?
Why waking me up?
And why yelling?
What's your business here.
Piss the fuck off!
- What piss off?
- Kuba, what's up?
- What Kuba?
- Jesus, it's a dream.
What're you doing
in my bed?!!!
In your bed???
I'm your husband!
What Kuba? Aren't you hiding
something from me?
It's a dream.
Like in the airport!
Sleep! Sleep!
It's a dream all right.
What about making
a little love, huh?
We'll talk about it
tomorrow.
What a nightmare I've had.
All right.
You'll tell me tomorrow.
Fuck such dreams.
Kuba! Make me coffee!
Oh, darn it, I've lost
my contact lenses.
Kuba! Florka! Wish
you'd find my contact lenses.
We're happy to move out
of this shack.
It's just running up and down,
like a lighthouse keeper!
I see better without them.
How did you behave
last night, huh?
You bashed my nose!
You flipped out?!
- Oh, fuck!
- Mind your French.
Jaruzelski's plans are
a significant initiative.
Why interested in Jaruzelski
all of a sudden?
That's what I needed!
So did I? I wanted a wife
to make me breakfast,
so I got one!
An unbuttered roll. Enjoy!
Why are you yelling at me?
Why should I make you
breakfast?
Sometimes you could've
made it for me... once.
What happened, darling?
You quarreled with Mom?
I hope you'll have gotten
over it by the evening.
Tad, wife, and the Swedes
are coming.
This dinner may set us well
till our dying day.
- Try your best, please.
- What Swedes?
Thank you for taking
interest in my business!
I've been cutting this deal
for half a year and you
don't remember it's tonight.
Oh, Jesus!
Aren't you going
to the university?
No, I'll take a day off.
Very good. You want
to prepare the reception.
I fuck receptions!
I must collect my thoughts!
Go ahead and I'll go to
earn dough, so that you
could take a day off
and collect your thoughts.
- Call me in case...
- Your cell?
Cell? My office may not
be a paragon of neatness,
but it's certainly
not in jail.
No! It can't be true!
It's a dream...
A very realistic nightmare!
Impossible, impossible...
No... possible.
The fucking Groundhog Day!
I wish I'd wanted to be
taller rather than younger!
Florka.
Not a minute longer...
- Hello.
- Hello.
- Any vacancies?
- Yes.
- Then a single if possible.
- I'll try...
- One night?
- Yes.
Or maybe the next two...
- Your ID, please.
- Here.
- But you're registered in Warsaw!
- For five generations.
- I can't check you in.
- Why?
- You kidding?
- No, I'm not. Why?
- These are the rules.
- Change them, then!
Of course, but
it'll take a while...
- I even know how long!
- Interesting. How long?
Two years and...
twenty days.
Then welcome in two years
and... twenty days.
Sexy glasses.
Marks, dollars, bonds...
Marks, dollars, bonds...
What?
Get lost, man!
Kuba, where are you?
- Hi.
- Hi.
We're at variance,
but I must stay overnight.
- At variance? Over what?
- We aren't? So much the better.
What have you done
to your hair?
Grown, cut?
Tell me what happened?
Oh, many happy returns
on your name day.
Name day, shname day.
I've left Darek!
You don't say?!
- Only 10 years too late.
- Your long hair was more becoming.
Ten years?
Three years after the wedding.
- You've known him for five!
- Can I sleep here?
I wanted at the hotel, but forgot
you have these commies!
I'll find something tomorrow.
What're you talking about?
Of course, you can.
- In my room or with Grandma?
- With Grandma?! She lives!
Good Mom is here.
Outta here.
Grandma?
Zosia! Come to me,
my darling name day girl.
Many happy returns
of the day!
- My dear Grandma!
- I've got pralines for you.
What's wrong?
Something happened?
I'm so happy to see you.
It's no good you just
walked out on him.
If he wasn't honest with you,
he should've left
if you're sure
you won't forgive him.
In my times women often
forgave men their cheating.
After all, they're men.
Grandma, times have changed.
I don't want to forgive him.
- Most important, I don't love him.
- You love someone else?
Yes.
You want to be with him
and something's in the way?
Yes.
- Is he married?
- That's not the problem.
What is, then?
I'll meet him in 8 years.
In 8 years...
and you love him already?
Yes, he's the love
of my life.
I see.
You're the only one
I can tell the truth to.
Promise you won't
laugh at me.
Promise.
I know my future life, the next
You do? How come?
I've lived through them.
It's a time warp.
Interesting...
I was in bed with Kuba
on Jan. 1, 2000
and left for the bathroom
for a moment.
On my return it was '87,
Darek was in bed,
whom I don't love, and Kuba,
that I do, had disappeared!
I'd dissuaded you from
marrying Darek,
but today I advice,
since it's a time warp
and know all about him,
try to find a remedy.
Something
could be salvaged.
Nothing can!
I can't be with Darek
since I met Kuba!
What remedy?
To enter the room before
he takes off his pants?
But I can't change his mindset.
Darek's a guy who
shouldn't start a family!
Aren't you jumping
to conclusions?
What would you do
if you were me?
If there was a time warp?
I'd certainly try to
remedy whatever possible.
I wouldn't move out
of the house for sure.
It's your home.
It's so good you're here.
- Teresa, you're here...
- Hi, Zosia.
- Outta here. Bye.
- Hi, Jurek.
- May I date you some day?
- What's so urgent?
You're married, but no wedding
ring today, so I thought...
Warm, warm.
Why don't you read
"Personal Attraction
from the First Sight
till Emotional Attachments..."
Who wrote it?
"Social Psychology" by Aronson,
Wilson, Alert; Warsaw 1997.
I'll sure read it.
'97? You mean '87?
Sure. But I have
other fish to fry.
I'm making a genuine
DDR coffee
Dad's brought from a business trip.
Isn't today your name day?
It is because it's today!
The pralines! Teresa!
Come here for a sec, come.
Excuse me,
I must've lost my way.
I'm looking for
the Sociology Dept. office...
Sociology is on Karowa St.
Somewhere else.
Open up!
I'm not disturbing, I hope.
A little. Goodbye. Go now.
It's far from here.
You aren't too polite.
A sympatico guy...
I know what I'm doing.
You crazy?
I give you coffee and you...
I'm so happy we'll be
drinking the coffee all alone!
In 10 years, we'll set up
a psychotherapeutic office!
- And me?
- You'll be treated there.
OK, OK...
How do I find Kuba?
And why me?!
Please be seated.
One moment.
You know what's the best
in the world?
Communism.
And what's the worst?
The fact that it's over here.
- You've flipped out?
- Yes, because I married you.
Are you writing poems?
We have visitors!
- You do.
- No food ready?
If you like to eat,
you could've done it.
- If you'd warned me.
- I warned you that I fuck it!
Zosia! I'm sorry. I clean forgot.
It's your name day today.
Forgive me.
All because
of that meeting.
You know how important
it is. I told you. Remember?
The Svensons are looking
for a site near Warsaw
to set up Ikea there.
They liked my 3 ha of wasteland.
It may be a gold mine
to set us for a lifetime.
I'll celebrate your name
day every day.
- What is it, anyway?
- I want you to leave me alone.
I will if you prepare the dinner.
You'll leave for a week!
Why? This is my home.
You leave... tomorrow for two weeks.
Tomorrow? Give me
two days at least.
I must get the folks
ready in the firm.
Will you leave
for two weeks?
Just make the dinner.
I beg you!
- There's nothing in the house.
- Nothing? I've provided everything!
Kabanosy, smoked sirloin,
ham! Everything!
You know what it took?!
Tickets to that film festival,
a color TV I bartered
for bikes for the twins
of the meat products manager.
Now I have access
to that supermarket
all year round from the back!
Everything's in the fridge.
I'll make the dinner.
Our last together.
My sweet...
And some good advice:
Better not tell them
about your holidays
in Sweden...
Come on, Zosia. I know
what, when and to whom.
It's a first class dinner.
I haven't eaten kabanosy
for months.
The last dinner I'm
making in this house.
I understand you. I'd like to suddenly
bolt from the kitchen, take a suitcase
and flee for ever.
- What's that, a modern kind of joke?
- She isn't kidding.
But it's irresponsible.
And how! I'll do it too.
Enough of this slavery.
What's this meeting in the house?!
There're restaurants...
Lars's congratulations on having
such a wonderful wife!
He's happy we'll be
business partners.
So am I! All the best!
Your health.
We Poles and the Swedes
have a lot in common.
We had a common king,
have a common sea.
I'll tell you about
my holidays in Sweden.
Ten years ago
in Oaxen Skargardskrog
n/ Stockholm!
Go ahead!
With Tadeusz here
we'd been going on holidays
together for 10 years...
Vodka, cigarettes, barter.
One had to make a living, no?
- He had a Fiat 125p.
- Yellow Bahama.
And I, a Polish trailer.
I was so young then, huh?
It was more difficult
to get than a flat.
- In 1977...
- I was refused my passport.
The holidays - in jeopardy.
And the possible pay
I could've lived off for a year.
My entrepreneurial gene
to the rescue.
Tadeusz tows me in
the trailer to winoujcie,
where he parks it on the ferry.
Having made friends
with a truck driver,
I had him tow me to
a campground n/ Stockholm.
And the next two months
saw me hustle the campground.
But in a cultured way, of course.
It was before I met Zosia.
But in a cultured way.
Before I knew it, all
my friends had gone home
and I was left in
the trailer in the campground!
- The fall semester had already begun...
- But your entrepreneurial gene?
I reported to the police
that my car had been stolen.
"Impossible," they say.
So I showed them the trailer.
That convinced them
there had had to be a car.
They didn't even ask
me about the car papers
and started looking for
the car all over Sweden...
I stayed at the hotel,
as they'd paid for it.
Finally, they found
nothing, of course.
Soon the cops came,
writhing with shame,
and suggested that they
tow me to the ferry.
So I sat at ease,
smoking a cigarette,
while a police Volvo
was towing my trailer.
A senior officer apologized:
"Nothing like that has happened
in my 30 years
on the force" he said.
I was waiting in winoujcie
in my Yellow Bahama...
My only holidays abroad
in a trailer without a car!
Lars wants to get it right.
Did the police look
for a car that was not?
Not at all!
Why did they look, then?
It boggled the suckers' minds
that one can pull such a fast one.
Did you deceive the police
to go and look for your car
- that never was?
- Aren't I saying they're suckers?
Lars says it's not funny.
No?
Shall we meet alone
without the husbands?
- With pleasure.
- To plot against us, huh?
Why? You'll do
yourselves in alone.
- How about tomorrow?
- OK.
Bye. Take care.
Thank you, Darek.
I'm sorry.
Good bye.
Everything was delicious.
Love. Good bye.
It was nice. Bye. Take care.
Thanks, Zosia. Svenson has
clearly fallen for you.
We got the deal closed, huh?
We don't. Your wasteland
will lie fallow.
How come? omianki -
the ideal site for IKEA!
IKEA will be in Janki.
In om-janki.
I've invited you for coffee,
because I think
we'll be the best
friends in 3 years.
I don't make friends easily.
But I know it'll pan out.
Why put it off?
I always liked you of all the wives
of our sharp operators...
I didn't,
which was a mistake.
You are worthier
than all of us combined.
No matter how resistant
I am to compliments,
it's nice to hear, anyway.
Since we're friends, tell me
who Darek cheats on me with?
What a question?!
I don't know if he does...
Even if I did,
you don't tell such things.
A friend to a friend?
- Then we're friends already?
- Very much so!
Would you if you knew
something about Tad?
Of, course!
You don't tell such things.
Deep down you're very unhappy.
Tad isn't too affectionate
and you still can't get over his fling
with the vice Miss Polonia.
How do you know?
Even if I mumbled
something when drunk...
...it was long ago and untrue!
- Sure.
Who does Darek
betray me with?
I don't know!
Find out from Tad.
How can they serve
coffee in glasses?
In what, then?
Waitress!
In 10 years, it'll be
a super sushi restaurant.
In this caf?
A Japanese style sushi restaurant.
Raw fish on rice.
- Yuck! An abomination!
- You'll gorge on it. You'll see.
- May I help you?
- With plastic?
So suddenly on May, 16, 1987
we'll start a lifelong friendship...
- Menu?
- That's in plastic covers.
I'll pay with cash.
Oh, darn it, May 16...
Bye.
- Grandma?
- Here!
- Pack up!
- I am.
I'm taking
you to the seaside!
Not to the seaside.
To the sanatorium.
I won't let you!
We've put the seaside
off for too long...
But a referral... so hard to get!
I waited for half a year.
- Where at the seaside?
- To the sanatorium...
You'll go to the sanatorium.
It's more beautiful in the fall.
I'm not thinking
about it at all.
What?
- I think...
- What's crossing your mind?
What if I had a beer?
This is OK, yes?
A history major, I can't
find a job in this country?
I... paint chimneys...
But wanted to be an archeologist.
We have plenty of work.
You must've fallen from grace.
- You must've been active...
- Nuts...
Why did you set up
labor unions?
We deluded ourselves
one could live a normal life!
- One can.
- No! You've proved we can't.
Fuck everything, then!
When I get my passport,
- we take Matt and leave. I won't...
- Good riddance.
No! I can't tell you
how I know it,
but things will be better.
Hold on for a while!
- How long?
- Till June 4, '89.
Communist Party is
for agreement and struggle
I'm glad you're happy.
The two of us here.
The only bright
side of the time warp.
- Jake, you like it?
- Uh-huh.
- Maybe this, then?
- For Christ's sake!
Which one then?
You can't decide.
I know.
Sometimes I think
it's a dream...
this future life, Kuba, Florka.
- What Florka?
- Your granddaughter.
Will I have Florka,
my great-granddaughter?
- Are you pregnant?
- Oh, darn it!
I'm not, dammit!
And I should be in 2 weeks!
If I want to have Florka...
Goddammit!
You'd rather wait for
that Kuba of yours?
Yes! To have Florka with him.
If what you say is true,
it will be another Florka.
What do I do, then?
Polish president.
Six letters, the third e?
Wasa.
What Wasa?
Polish President Bierut.
The 3rd necklace this week.
But it's a bargain.
See how beautiful they are?
This is
the homeland of amber.
We don't have money!
- Then borrow.
- Again?
I want to have Florka,
but can't return to Darek!
No way!
Should I return to let
him impregnate me?
You can't get pregnant
without it.
God, what a lowlife...
This will go with the dress
we bought yesterday.
Here. This is all I got.
So we can leave home
earlier.
Stop always bickering
with me over money!
Where do I take it from?
Your account.
You should earn more.
You give up the necklace?
I'm interested.
Moment!
I'm giving it some thought!
The bus carrying patients
from Warsaw to the sanatorium
fell into a ditch.
There are 15 injured.
Luckily, no deaths reported...
- Tea.
- Thank you.
Even if I met Kuba by accident,
what would I tell him?
"Excuse me, sir, I'd like
to have your child,
as, in 9 years, we'll be
together, anyway."
It should be put
more delicately...
Delicately?
Everything sucks!
This trip was to be for you,
whereas I pester you all the time.
Let's have fish.
It may be in short supply here.
At the seaside?!
If the Soviet Union had the Sahara,
sand would be in short supply.
What's so funny about it?
Careful, boy. You drive too fast.
Where's Mommy?
Name's Robert Kubica
from Krakw.
What're you doing, Rob?
I'm sorry, ladies.
That's all right.
I'd like to show you
the 18th century bridge
I mentioned to you.
- Would you like?
- Sure.
I like Sopot.
It's so quiet and peaceful.
Catch him! The SOB!
But it's my bike. Help!
What's going on there?
- But it's my bike.
- Gimme.
- Hey, leave him alone?
- What will you do to us?
Get lost, it's our bike now.
You get away.
- Give the bike back to him.
- But it's ours.
Get lost, kid.
You bandit.
I'm going to the police.
Kuba!
Oh, Jesus!
What happened?
- Oh, Jesus!!! It was him!
- Who?
Kuba!!!
Your Kuba?
I didn't know
he was in Sopot then.
How come in Sopot?
Not in Canada?
- Grandma, forgive me, I have to run!
- That goes without saying.
Stop!!!
Oh, darn it, crazy!
Tired of life?
Where's the other one?
I saw you a moment ago!
I took him to the station.
- Was it Mr. Kuba Radecki?
- Maybe. I don't know.
Where did you find him?
- He stayed in the Writers' Retreat.
- Writers' Retreat? Thank you!
A regular crazy.
Excuse me. Did Mr. Kuba
Radecki stay here?
- Are you a member?
- No...
Sorry, no information for strangers.
This is a Writers' Retreat.
- I need it very badly.
- I understand,
but I can't help, anyway.
- You can! But you don't want to!
- Makes no difference.
Miss Ra,
water that hare's-foot fern.
What a country.
Secretive about anything.
We're in the NATO for a year now!
In 12 years, that is.
- They didn't tell you?
- No.
You must've botched it.
- Will we be in the NATO?
- Yeah.
Hello... Excuse me.
I was passing by
when a motorbike was
leaving this place.
The man in the back
dropped his keys.
It may be important.
My husband took one
of the guests to the station.
Thank you. His wife is
returning from Jurata,
so we'll give her
the keys tomorrow.
He may have trouble
entering the house.
Yeah... But we can't help it.
If it's somebody from Warsaw...
my grandson is returning there by car.
He can take them to him.
Yes?
What a lucky coincidence...
- I'll give you the address.
- Very good.
No?!
Close to my place...
where the laundry is.
Grandma, you're a genius.
You may want to return
to Warsaw immediately?
I must walk the dog!
Come!
Where's hello to your husband?
You've never walked him.
I must start it one day...
I'm taking the car!
The car to walk the dog?
To the seaside with the dog?
Come, come.
Kuba used to have
a dog too, a poodle.
Embarrassed to walk it,
he'd do it after dark.
Maybe we'll luck out.
It's here.
Aren't you exaggerating?
You've been away for 3 days.
I worry myself stiff.
You were to go away.
- Should I vanish?
- That'd be the best...
We have to talk
about your problem.
You don't like
something about me?
Let's think. Hmm.
You smoke in bed,
don't keep your word,
ignore my opinion...
Rather than a friend,
you behave like my owner...
I'm decent, respected,
and highly regarded.
Your humors are becoming
more and more irritating.
With a less tolerant guy...
With a more tolerant - no humors.
I wonder if there are any
more tolerant than me.
You do what you please!
- For which I demand a bit of respect!
- I have none for you.
- Why?
- Because...
You know your problem?
More serious than you think!
Go to a shrink
to treat your head!
It will be cooler for you.
You think your mistress
is misbehaving, huh?
I fuck it.
What's the matter?
Away with that rust heap!
Oh, Jesus!
Goddammit!
Jeanette, a hostess, 21.
In Darek's bedsitter.
She carries a thermos bottle after him
when they go hunting.
DAREK had a bedsitter?
Tad is not sure. Maybe
somebody gives him the keys.
I can't believe it hasn't
registered on you.
- You aren't even emotional about it...
- How many times can you be?
When I make sure,
I'll call you. Home?
Not home. Better my cell...
OK, home.
How beautiful it'd be if every one
of us had a phone in the pocket.
- You call when you wish...
- As if in a DDR sci-fie flick?
I have the feeling it will
be in 9, 10 years...
- In Poland? In 110!
- That's what I wanted to say.
"I can't give you much
I can't give you much
Cause I don't have enough!
I can't give you much
I can't give you much
I'm so sorry..."
"Charm that time's blunted
The clink of empty glass,
Dream's not come true...
A divided world,
Thoughts deserving bars..."
I like to watch fire...
- I love you, Zosia.
- I do too.
I like to watch fire...
- I love you.
- But I don't.
How can you do it?
I love yesterday, but not today?!
You have an awful character.
You're an egoist...
'Egoist is one who doesn't
think about me,' yes?
- And you cheat me to boot.
- What cheat?
Cheat on me!
Wait a minute.
How come I cheat on you?
With whom?
And why should I?
Why? Because
you've never loved me.
Who with? A list beginning
with our neighbor Jola till
- the asses you meet in the street?
- I don't even know her name's Jola!
- Sure. It'll be in a year's time...
- You're obsessed with betrayal.
By the way who's Kuba?
Kuba is not. Not yet.
But will be.
You're not quite
normal.
Your mom couldn't settle
down and you can't either.
I was the fool not to have met
someone before I met you.
- Girls warned me: A ladies' man...
- They were jealous!
But I wanted to change you!
Live as you please but without me!
Doesn't my love
for you matter?
I don't betray you, have no flings,
and love you and only you?
But for the truth,
I'd almost believe you...
- How do I prove it?
- I don't love you, Darek.
But don't worry.
We'll divorce in... '95.
You'll stay with that slut
I've caught you with.
I'll meet Kuba...
Florka'll admire him more than you.
By saying so
you activate bad energy.
What Florka?
Our daughter Florka.
Are you pregnant?
Hence the moods!
She was to be Karen!
Actually, I'm not pregnant.
That's the problem.
You aren't pregnant.
Do you want...
I want Florka.
All right, let her be Florka.
So you love me, yes?
Good.
So you won't go!
Zbysiu! Hi, pal!
Of course we're going.
I get awfully lost.
I've cleared everything
with Zosia.
She is wise and understands
that men have hobbies!
Till tomorrow. Bye.
Kuba, Florka,
where are you?
- In the kitchen.
- It won't hurt? And no infection?
No. Oxygen in this water
is liberated under pressure
and the bacteria
have no chances.
- Careful, Kuba.
- He knows everything.
Except the whereabouts
of the Spanish gold.
- What happened to it?
- Erudites, forget it.
- Does it hurt?
- Quiet, I'm talking.
In Spain when the civil war
started, the Republicans
sent a part of their
gold reserves to Odessa.
- To the Russkies?
- No, the Bolsheviks...
Crazy?
They thought it'd be
safer there.
- They were to get tanks.
- How much was it?
Not many tanks,
but a $ 500,000 of gold.
The fourth biggest
reserve in the world.
- What happened to it?
- Ask Putin.
- Who?
- OK. Go now.
- Watch out over there.
- Hush...
Hey, Kuba!
- Hello!
- Hello.
Come!
The story of the origin
of the film is quite obvious
if not banal, so to speak.
While on holiday in Moscow,
I was offered to make
this film.
When an opportunity
knocks, why not?
Odessa to filmmakers
is a magic city.
Why magic?
lzaak Babel,
Benia Shout, Bulghakov,
Eisenstein and The Battleship
Potemkin, you understand...
Was the film to be
called Sickle and Hammering?
Yes, it's true.
Why is it called differently?
Answer it yourself.
Any other questions?
Wiser ones?
When it comes to Odessa,
one thing interests me.
In 1936, during the civil war,
the Republican Spain
deposited its gold reserves,
over a $ 500,000 in Odessa.
The gold never returned to Spain.
I wonder what happened to it?
The question is certainly
not for our guests...
Excuse me, what paper
do you represent?
Gazeta Wyborcza.
Never heard of...
Who invited you here?
Due to a time warp,
but it's a long story.
Thank you, Ms...
Any more questions?
Mr. Skucha, please!
I'd like to say hello
to Mr. Kuba Radecki.
I admire your scripts!
Errr... it's nice.
Thank you very much...
I've only penned one,
but thanks, anyway...
Since I have the floor,
why aren't you in Canada
on a scholarship?
I'm leaving next week...
How do you know?
I know a lot about you!
My name's Zosia Albrecht
and I'd like you
to remember me.
Ladies and gentlemen,
let me emphasize
that a cooperation
with the Soviet Film industry
is very important
to the Polish cinema,
a chance for
a perestroika in this field.
Is this supposed
to be an economy?
Don't you see what
the red spiders
have done to this country,
the agriculture and industry?
Shortage of butter?! No butter
in an agricultural country?
In 10 years we'll have butter so
expensive that it'll pay to buy it abroad.
Yes? And the situation
in the meat market?
Even worse. A lot of meat,
but nobody will eat it
because of the mad cow
disease and the bird flu...
I've been to Moscow and the DDR.
And saw how solid the communism is!
It won't fall apart
in the nearest 200 years!
Just like this lock!
Thank you. You've
been very helpful.
The pay is 1,200 zloty.
There'll be butter and meat,
but nobody will need them...
What else will there be?
Freedom, but nobody
will notice it.
- Good bye, ma'am.
- Good bye.
- Sweetie...
- Yes?
Will you buy your
cupcake a little car?
May be second hand?
- What is it?
- Super from downstairs.
Your drain must've burst,
cause it's flooding my apartment.
What drain? Moment.
It's dry in here.
Nothing has burst!
Maybe under the bathtub?
I have a plummer with me.
Let him take a look
at that drain.
All right. Moment.
Cover yourself.
Coming!
What drain?
This.
Now you know why
I don't love you...
- It's not what you think!
- I'm seeing it.
I love you for sure.
You have your clothes
packed outside the door.
Don't try to come back.
I've changed the locks.
Bravo! Bravo!
This is the way with men!
How could you do that
to me, you pig?!
Some kind of curio city!
Curiosity rather.
Have you given it
enough thought?
Yes, I have a week before
Kuba leaves for Canada.
- What if you don't make it?
- I'll follow him.
Marta has a friend in
the Canadian Embassy.
- And the money?
- I'll rent my house if need be.
You're in such despair?
- So he's finally noticed you.
- I guess so.
But I can't go the whole hog.
He'd think I'm a crazy nymphomaniac!
Why don't you have
a heart-to-heart talk with him?
He may believe it?
Do you believe me?
I think you don't,
but you're too kind to hurt me...
Oh, here it is!
May I help you?
I've shut myself out. The keys,
passport, and ticket are inside.
- You have no spare keys?
- Inside.
There's a window
open upstairs.
Exactly. Upstairs...
- Where are those keys?
- In the handbag...
You're climbing into my house?!
I don't know you!
You have my moped
as collateral.
The salt for my mouth -
a blues for the guitar
A few shortcuts too
a couple of greenbacks...
No, no. Anything but that.
I can't give you much
I can't give you much
Cause I don't have enough...
- What're you doing?
- Let me in.
- No way.
- It's also my house, dammit!
- You have the bedsitter.
- Stop kidding, Zosia.
It's clear.
Let's part company with class.
I'm awfully sorry
for the whole thing.
I want to apologize.
Why flirting with Miss Jeanette?
- Zosia! You don't know anything.
- I know everything, Darek.
How about going
hunting tomorrow?
A romantic outing.
Just you and me.
I've rented a beauty of
a lodge n/ aga.
No, Darek.
Stop pestering me.
- I have nowhere to go.
- The bedsitter.
- They've given me notice to vacate!
- Rent another.
Give me the dog at least!
From this place of such
quality and significance
in our history, we connect
with all our peers
in the Polish land
wherever they are.
Be it in schools, colleges,
or workstations.
What we've been weighing
concerns each and everyone.
- What're you looking for?
- I can't find my passport.
Have you seen it
or know where it is?
In a drawer, I think.
- Which?
- In the Passport Office.
And this on top of all.
... on a smaller outer scale,
but sometimes
maybe on a larger
inner scale...
...and cannot return
its Westerplatte...
... that it cannot return its
Westerplattel
Why, this is live?
Exactly, but I've heard it
already.
Now he'll say:
enough for today.
Enough for today.
You believe me now?
- I got you!
- I've won.
- You distracted me.
- I didn't say a word.
- You talk all the time.
- You don't know how to lose.
I do.
May I ask you for a while?
- Let the kid sometimes win.
- Too clever and will know it's phony.
- Lose once. Do it for me, OK?
- OK. It's not educational, though.
It is. Kids should be
brought up to be winners.
Ma'am psychologist,
according to statistics,
psychologists make
the most pedagogical mistakes.
Don't argue. Lose.
Once more?
I don't promise.
- A ticket to ary.
- 850 zloty.
Transfer in Zielona Gra.
Oh, it's you.
We should stop meeting
in this way.
Yes? How should
we start meeting, then?
I had the feeling in
the office that we sparked.
Will you go along on
a romantic outing?
- A younger lover is a tautology.
- Yes? You heap praise.
In your case
it's an oxymoron.
Yes? Maybe. Moron in
English means an imbecile.
- Where to, Pussy?
- Zakopane.
I wanted to Kazimierz. So what?
I'll change for Zakopane.
It's the wrong bus!
I can't go along with
someone who doesn't
know what oxymoron is.
- Are YOU his wife?
- I wonder too.
So... please come on in.
I will if that woman leaves.
Errr... the lady is leaving.
She is a wife, but not mine,
the wife of a friend of
a friendly... hunt.
Spare us the details.
Just let her leave.
- I'll wait in the kitchen.
- You're invited.
Vodka?
Yes, please!
I've gone through
that too.
Wonderful of you
to have come!
I couldn't think
of a nicer surprise!
You should've decided
to go along with me.
It'd've been a romantic trip without
this... misunderstanding.
Hush... You'll frighten
away the game.
- I'm sorry.
- Quiet.
Only the two of us.
But two hunters came along.
One had a pregnant bitch.
How do you know that
Grabarek's bitch would litter?
How did you find me here?
We were supposed to go to aga?!
I know everything. Party
apparatchiki occupied the lodge.
You had to rent
private lodgings in ary.
So you knew everything?
Do you know the number
of the winning lottery ticket?
lt'd give me some advantage!
Are you drinking vodka?
You astound me!
It's just the beginning.
You came as you hadn't
been able to stay without me.
So you love me
and won't leave me.
I love only you, Kuba.
Pregnancy test, please.
What do you want?!
A test to check if
I'm pregnant.
You see it if
you look at me.
Oh, darn it. I forget
how benighted you are!
- Benighted?!
- Backward.
Backward?!
Lawyer's Office
All right... now one of those
indiscreet questions.
Shoot.
When did you stop
...cohabiting?
What's the best answer?
The truth.
Since your emotional
bonds stopped etc., etc.
It should've been
half a year ago at least...
Put it down: 12 years ago.
Yes, but you've been
married for 3 years?
Yes. I always have
problems with that.
Write we haven't been
cohabiting... for 2 years...
...for two and a half.
You file for divorce
without pointing the guilty party?
No, it's all his fault.
In the States, we'd take
him to the cleaners,
but here I'll have to
leave him socks at least.
Zosia,
I know you're there!
Please let me in.
I see you through the window
sit and write something.
What's the matter?
What game are you playing?!
Why have you taken the car?!
Open up or I'll shoot
through the locks.
Hey! Calm down,
or I call the cops.
I'm awfully sorry.
My wife must've fallen asleep
and I've forgotten the keys...
I know you're divorcing.
Do it in a civilized way.
Some respect for the neighbors.
Sorry.
Of course, you're right.
Since you know everything,
how about a coffee to make up?
In another life.
- Zosia!!!
- Hi.
Zosia, why here?
Miss Babs, a pregnancy test
and the results on my desk.
Please wait.
My boss doesn't get it that
impregnation in vitro is the future.
He tells me to terminate
my research,
...because it's nothing doing.
- It's not!
Let's not talk about it.
- How are things?
- I've filed for divorce.
I don't envy you.
Those partings, returns,
crying, weeping... a nightmare.
In such a plight, you have to go out,
to meet someone!
Let's go to an Enamored Ball.
Let's go together.
To an Enamored Ball?
They'll take us for dykes!
lt'd be an idea!
I prefer guys, but my
dreamboat has another one
and pays me no attention.
Leave those stamps.
A fine guy, occupied,
doesn't notice others.
What a pity...
We seem to be the only
ones without partners.
That's the point.
We'll find someone.
An Enamored Ball!
We're super gals!
Fantastic goods: two married gals,
including one pregnant.
Let's have a good time.
Kebab, please.
- We're short of...
- How come? I want kebab!
No more. How about
spare ribs or mutton?
And this?
It's rare. I've put it
away for myself.
Please give it to me!
Don't argue. I'm a guest here
and you're to wait on me!
Here.
Zosia!
Hi.
You know one another.
Marta - Teresa - Jurek.
Hi.
- You alone?
- And you?
I've come alone,
but won't leave alone!
Cut the cocksure bit!
Let's have a drink.
Thanks a lot.
I'll find my husband tonight,
which a fortune teller predicted!
That's where she is!
For a 1,000 zloty a pop.
What? I can tell
you the same gratis.
She also said I'd be
a great success
with a workmate in the future!
We'll have psychotherapeutic
office in Warsaw in 10 years.
Forget it. It's not the US.
What will happen
to me?
Your first child in vitro
will be born in November.
Don't go to Bulgaria on holidays,
or they'll burglarize your apartment.
I told you about in vitro,
but not about Bulgaria.
The one in glasses will be
nominated for Oscar in '94 or '95
for a film he'll make in France.
And the one with his back to me
will be my husband in 9 years.
Then go tell him!
I'll do it!
Excuse me, if you're game for it,
my friend tells fortunes!
by the entrance.
No, it's gratis. I barged in,
as you have special good news.
Yes... what, for instance?
- Something with Oscar for you...
- That's my uncle's name.
...about a film in France.
Impossible... I've just got
an offer... from France...
Zosia, come, come on!
I must've seen you
at a press conference?
Yes, the lady asked
about the Spanish gold!
Does chiromancy
know about me?
You'll have a private
TV station in a few years.
Don't let your son
go hiking in the mountains.
Iwo is crazy indeed about climbing.
This is fantastic!
Three withes
as if in Macbeth!
Excuse me, a call.
- Aren't you interested in the future?
- I don't believe it.
I have three prophesies
for you.
I feel honored.
The first one?
You'll be asked to dance
and won't be able to refuse...
- The first has come true.
- And another one?
- We'll soon be married.
- I'm not asking about the 3rd one.
It wasn't as funny
as it was supposed to be.
A pity...
But we'll be happy later.
Write the "Waiters" series
you're considering!
It'll be a hit!
The 3rd prophesy, that.
What series?
It's not to be a series...
You have such a good time,
I couldn't find you...
I wasn't hiding.
I saw it.
Let's return home.
I have a headache
and my stomach aches too.
Because of
a poisoned kebab!
- Drink some vodka.
- No vodka! We're going home!
Good night.
Bye.
Who was that woman?
Lidka? Just his wife.
Very jealous.
- Could I offer you a drink?
- Sure.
And what?
He was to be divorced
in '87... A flop.
Wait...
Sorry. I'm leaving...
Howdy, Darek.
You? Really?
Three strikes and I'm out.
I know what oxymoron is!
The same numbers?
It's destiny.
- Shall we dance?
- What for?
Cha-cha-cha.
Hello. Mr. Kuba, I presume.
Cutting in.
Zosia, Zosia...
- You sure want it out?
- Enough arguing.
- It emits bad energy.
- I haven't felt it.
So you think me crazy.
All right. Say it.
You think me crazy, yes?
- I think it's a very pretty dresser.
- But I don't want it!
Don't you understand
that it emits sorrow!
Let's take it to a second hand store
to make someone happy.
Go ahead as you wish.
I'm finished with it!
- Hello...
- Hello.
You're really stalking me.
Not today. I'm taking
things to the laundry.
What're you doing with
this dresser?
It was a present for my wife,
but she hates it...
To leave it here?
A beautiful 19th cen. dresser?!
If it isn't liked,
away with it.
- Really throwing it away?
- Really.
- May I take it, then?
- Of course. You want it packed?
Into my car if you could.
- Your wife won't be angry?
- She's never liked it.
I hope you didn't have
a hard time for the ball?
What's this thing
about prophesies?
- A joke?!
- Sure.
I don't prophesy the future.
I've lived through it.
Meaning?
I'm a bit tired telling
about it, but no matter.
I had this time warp
in 2000.
In 2000, we're a very
happy married couple,
bringing up my daughter
Florka I'm pregnant with,
who adores you.
I regret not to be younger
and not meeting you earlier.
One day I'm 12 years
younger in the year '87
with my ex
I wouldn't want to be with
or even touch
with a 10 foot pole.
But you're married.
Seems things will stay that way.
And you think me
crazy to boot.
Maybe not crazy but
a bit... an eccentric person.
Still I don't know how to convince
you that I'm telling the truth.
So you wanted to be
younger and it happened?
I know it sounds awful.
If I wanted to be rich
or to speak Japanese,
it wouldn't come true.
I just thought
that if we finally meet,
you'll drop everything for me...
- You would like a guy like that?
- Yes.
- But I have a wife.
- But it's me. Zosia.
When are you
leaving for Canada?
Tomorrow.
We would fail, anyway...
I must wait for you.
I won't follow you
like an idiot...
I'll wait. Worst case scenario -
we'll meet in '95 and get
married a year later.
So we have some time, yes?
If you believed,
it'd be different.
If I kissed a frog,
it'd change into a queen.
And when I kiss the queen,
then?
Thanks for
the dresser, anyway.
May you be a full success
in Canada...
You too... in returning
to the right time.
They got soiled a bit.
Luckily, I take them to the laundry,
but don't collect them...
Laundry
Everything sucks now...
- When can we talk?
- Aren't we now?
You won't forgive me?
- I've changed.
- Same here.
Why so headstrong?
You've never been such!
And you took my kindness
for weakness of character.
- Let me return.
- No.
Your divorce petition
will misfire, anyway.
Why?
You said the breakup
was 21l2 years ago.
Didn't we make love in ary?
Just a sexual intercourse
to impregnate me.
Speak for yourself.
Like it or lump it, no way.
Not because of my fault.
We'll see.
You haven't given
me all my things back...
What?
Hunting trophies
and sports equipment!
I'll soon sent those.
- Send me the dumbbells at least!
- All right...
That idiot won't leave me alone.
It's dumbbells this time...
Has Mr. Kuba Radecki
taken off to Canada?
How should I know?
Canada is here.
Dumbbell! You had one
when you were little...
It's a real time warp!
Do you believe me?
I know it's impossible.
You've always been so rational.
It fell out of the dress pocket...
I couldn't reach you.
You didn't leave
your phone number.
- Jake, goddammit, who's this woman?
- Don't call me Jake!
- I'm Kuba's next wife.
- My pleasure!
Thank God
we have you back.
What happened?
You lost consciousness for a while.
Your husband is coming.
My husband?
I don't want it.
I'm divorcing him. Really.
You haven't taken off?
- Meaning?
- To Canada.
- I ran there to see you off.
- To Canada? Why?
What am I doing here?
You came to see off Marta...
Will she be all right?
It often happens during pregnancy...
Shortage of hemoglobin.
Are you pregnant?
- We're going to have a girl.
- Florka will have a sister?
Florka?
Who's got me with child?
I... I guess?
- Which is it?
- Month?
- Year.
- 2000.
I'm so happy
I'm not younger!
We have moved in already.
- Excuse me?
- Nothing.
Let's not tell Florka
you fainted. She'd worry.
- You've left her alone?
- Alone?
Florka!
Mom!
Florka!
Take the car next time.
Kuba and I were playing
when you called one.
I'm sorry.
Zosia, darling! At last.
We've been waiting...
My beloved Grandma!
I know everything.
Will you have tea?
I have the answer
to your question.
How much does
the Trojan horse weigh?
The answer is:
plus Odysseus. Each in
armor - about 100 kilo
times 51 - 5,100.
Since the horse weighed
about 12, 000 it's...
Seventeen thousand
and a hundred altogether.
A bus with sanatorium
patients had an accident.
Fifteen injured.
Luckily, no deaths.
I've won!
Dad! It's not pedagogical.
- Kids are brought up to be winners.
- Why don't you win, then?
To my father
Cast of Characters
in order of appearance