iMordecai (2022) Movie Script
1
(soft klezmer music)
(cattle braying)
VOICE:
I, Mordecai.
Everyone has their story.
I was born
July 27th, 1933,
in Janw Podlaski, Poland.
My father tells me
it was a very hot day.
(muttering in Yiddish, sighing)
- (groaning)
- Yohanan!
(exclaiming in Yiddish)
(screaming)
(people clamoring)
Mordecai!
(continuing in Yiddish)
(whispering softly)
(speaking Yiddish)
(continuing in Yiddish)
Jakub! Jakub!
(clamoring)
Ssh!
(baby cooing)
(crying)
(clapping and clamoring)
(gasping, murmuring)
(crying)
(music resumes)
(elevator dings)
Oh, boy.
(phone ringing)
What now?
(voice breaking)
- What?
- MARVIN: Hey, Dad.
- Yeah, hello-- Marvin?
- Yeah.
What? I can't hear
what you're saying.
I can't take it anymore.
I'm picking you up.
We're getting you
a new phone.
(broken) No, don't come.
I'm busy now.
I'm on my way, Dad.
Look, Ryan, the cigars need
more time to age.
RYAN: Marvin,
you're running out of cash.
You can't hold out forever.
Okay, I gotta go,
I'll see you later.
- (sighing)
- (elevator dinging)
Mrs. Gomez!
Mrs. Gomez! Qu paso?
"Qu pas?"
Qu t piensas?
It's your crazy father again.
(coughing)
Mom! What's going on?
- Go ask him.
- Dad! (coughing)
(groaning)
What the fuck?!
Dad! Dad!
What for you sneak up
on me like that?
What the hell are you doing?
Your mother,
she can't step into
the tub to take shower,
so we make walk-in shower.
Yeah-- so you have
a jackhammer?!
Well, this place is
built like bunker, all cement.
What you want me to use,
hammer and chisel?
- Maybe a toothpick?
- No, I want you
- to call a plumber.
- I am a plumber!
You retired 15 years ago.
How are you and Mom
supposed to wash
while you build this thing?
Mrs. Gomez, nice lady,
we use her bathroom.
(sighing)
- (coughing)
- (mock "coughing")
(whirring)
My thoughts of you
Always thrill me,
through and through
And I know that I...
Always feel the way I do
My dream...
(whirring)
MARVIN:
Mom!
Always with a memory
- (music stops)
- Mom!
What is your yelling
at your mother?!
- I raised you!
- I know, but he's--
--and I almost died
giving birth to you.
You have huge head.
I know.
All I wanted to do
was come here,
take him to the mall,
and buy him a new phone.
That's it.
This is what I get.
Okay, I go with you.
Well, he's on a mission
in there right now,
I don't think he's gonna
really listen to you.
We'll see about that.
Mordecai,
we're going to the mall,
or no hanky-panky.
Okay, go get ready.
Okay, we get ready.
Okay, we get ready.
Yeah, but I could--
I could fix this.
I could put some more...
- Dad.
- ...electrical tape on it.
- That's what I'll do.
- Dad, face facts.
The phone is dead.
You should bury
the Jeep with that phone.
(laughter)
- "Ha-ha."
- How about that other Jeep?
That Nazi shit car
of yours, huh?
Going to rain, Mordecai.
What rain?
Where's the rain?
(thunder crashes)
Ugh!
Great-- Dad, I thought
you were gonna get a new window.
Who needs new window? Here.
Perhaps when the--
the big cigar deal
actually happens,
then I get the window,
- and maybe new car with it.
- All right, we're not
having this conversation
right now.
I ask for the...
report on the... loan.
There's water
on floor back here.
Talk about being big shot
in the cigar business, huh,
now here in the making,
and you say nothing.
- Please, please.
- Nothing, not even an update.
Fine, you want an update?
Next week, we get
a new batch of samples,
then we'll know.
- It's not plumbing.
- Water on the floor--
Look what happened
in all my life.
Huh? Look what I do for him,
after he's shown
no respect for me.
- My-- My own son!
- "Respect."
- Where's my update?
- Enough with the two of you.
Car floor is full of water.
Marvin, pull the plug.
- I'm drowning back here.
- Oh, my God.
Brighten up,
this is light here, we go now.
I get my war reparations
check from Germany,
I go buy brassiere.
How come you get
reparations check,
and I get shit?
Because I suffered
more than you,
that's mine.
How many times
I have to say it?
What is she talkin'...
(customer chatter)
Ahh.
- What do you think?
- No-no-no, this is not--
- Pretty cool, right?
- Not for me.
It's all right, come on,
you're gonna be all right.
- We got the phone right here.
- Marvin, Marvin--
I don't know
how to use iPhone.
- I got landline.
- If you don't like it,
you wanna give it back,
we'll get another one.
- No--
- Yeah, but I want you
- to look at this, look.
- No.
Come on.
All right.
I'm gonna go get some help.
Don't go anywhere.
I don't...
Marv...
WOMAN: That's going to allow us
to add some depth to our image,
like this... see?
(customer chatter increases)
(phone chimes and chatter)
(chimes and chatter intensify)
See, in a digital world,
we create our own reality.
And through technology,
we create anything we want to.
We can make it real,
make it come to life.
Just something that existed
in our minds today
is now being shared
with the world, instantly.
And here is
a perfect opportunity
for me to show you exactly
what I was talking about.
- (thunder "crashing")
- Oh!
- Oh, my!
- (laughter)
- (laughing)
- That is all I have
for all of you today.
Thank you so much for coming,
and I hope to see you
next time.
Hey, there.
Are you interested
in a course in digital art?
Digital art?
Thought this was phone store.
- (laughing)
- Yeah...
I don't even know
what I'm doing here.
Sorry.
- Wanna know a secret?
- Yeah.
- Sometimes I don't either.
- Yeah. (chuckling)
- I'm Nina, by the way.
- Nina.
My son, he wants me
to use an iPhone.
But I happy with my old
flippy phone for calling.
It's been with me
through all my plumbing years.
Are you having trouble
hearing who you're
talking to on that thing?
I have trouble
hearing, period.
Dad, there you are,
don't wander off, please.
Come here, I want you
to meet somebody.
This is Jared,
he's an iPhone specialist.
Pleased to make
your acquaintance, sir.
What's up, Nina?
Oh, hi, uh,
are you already together?
Oh, not in a retail
sort of sense.
I actually have another class
I have to get to anyway, so--
but good luck
with your phone.
Mr. Samel, I present to you
the state-of-the-art
of the state-of-the-art,
the new iPhone.
- (chuckling)
- So what cost this phone
- with no buttons?
- Dad, you see
these kids in the blue shirts--
you know what they call them?
- What?
- Prodigies.
- Because they're so smart.
- Oh, boy.
Him? He don't look
like Einstein to me.
- Dad, don't be rude, please.
- Rude? Why don't you show
some respect yourself, huh?
I don't want to come here
in the first place.
I get the fuck out of here.
(groaning)
(buzzer)
Your card, Mr. Samel.
No bueno.
Should've gone
straight home. Here.
(bird cawing)
Netta? Hon?
Hi, I think she has
a "welcome home" present
for you in there.
Let me take a quick sniff.
Oh, boy. How was it
with your family?
Don't even ask.
I get to the apartment,
and there is smoke
billowing out of the door.
- Smoke?
- Right, sorry, not smoke,
it was plaster dust,
to be more specific.
And a lot of it.
Everywhere.
And that's just
the beginning of it.
Then he's dragging me there...
(grunting, muttering)
And then he's like this--
(sputtering)
(as Mordecai)
"Hello? Hello? How are ya?"
(sputtering)
"Hello?
Can ya get me up there."
Look at your dad.
Look at your dad.
He screams at me
inside of the store
and storms out.
But you still love him.
I'm just concerned
that he's gonna continue
to get himself into trouble.
You should just
move them in here.
What part of
"jackhammering the bathtub"
- didn't you understand?
- You don't know.
He might do a really good job
on the bathroom.
You know what?
If he wants to be included
in your big deal,
include him.
I'm getting the hang of this.
(babbling)
You are a horrible father.
- (babbling)
- It runs in the family.
I'll do it right,
I'll get it right.
(upbeat playing)
Here you go, Mr. Schwartz.
- (applause)
- Well, that's it for now.
See you next month
at the Survivors' Meeting,
where we will celebrate
Ida Brown's 100th birthday.
From Auschwitz to Aventura.
Happy Birthday, Ida.
(applause)
This party is going
to be so amazing.
How does it feel
to be almost 100
with everything
that you've been through?
Ah, I was
just about your age
when I went into the camps.
But I chose
not to let that
define how I live my life.
If I did, it would dishonor
my parents and my sister.
Survivors have
to tell our stories
to young people like you,
so it never happens again.
MAN ON P.A.:
Good morning, Point East!
The bus for
the bingo tournament is leaving
in 15 minutes.
--even talking about?
Why, hello,
Mr. and Mrs. Samel.
Mr. Samel,
I was hoping to see you.
I want you to enter
the bocce ball tournament
at our annual community
festival next month.
Thank you, Mrs. Campbell,
but I no play bocce ball.
Oh, but Mordecai,
it's going to be so much fun.
You know, I was quite
an athlete when I was younger.
Oh, I can tell.
So strong.
Did you ever play
anything professionally?
Enough of this nonsense,
I only going to tell this once.
You stay away from my man.
You buried
two husbands already.
You're not stealing this one.
Mordecai, we go.
I think that
bocce's not for me.
Now listen to me,
you don't talk
to that crazy shiksa.
She was schtupping
Mr. Longstein.
He tried from heart attack
on the spot.
What are you--
meshuggeneh?
We married 50 years.
Every lady in the street,
you think I'm schtupping them?
I'm going to tell you
something now.
My brothers and sisters,
they warned me
about you.
No-no-no, they warned you
about the guy before me.
The one with the mustache.
What's wrong with you?
Nothing, I hungry,
- let's go eat.
- Me too.
(snoring)
(snoring)
(snoring)
Oh-- what you doing
with that thing?
It's an iPhone.
From Marvin.
Oh, Mordecai,
I don't want that in this house.
You see how people
stare at that thing.
That brainwashing device,
like Stalin.
There's no buttons.
I don't--
I don't understand,
there's no buttons.
I don't care,
I want you
call Marvin
in the morning
and tell him...
take that thing back.
I said I take this thing back.
When I say "never,"
I mean "never."
Einstein, Mr. Einstein.
- This-- This a return.
- What?
Dad, this is a person.
- Really? A return?
- No, no.
We're here to get
my father a few lessons.
- Sign him up.
- No-- no! No lessons.
- A few lessons.
- I take no lessons.
I teach myself painting.
I teach myself plumbing.
No lessons.
Mr. Samel,
Nina's starting
a group lesson over there
in about ten minutes,
if you wanna check it out.
No, no group lesson.
I get the fuck out of here.
(groaning)
Oh, Nina.
I just thought,
maybe instead of doing
group lessons
for your phone, that...
maybe you'll wanna do
private lessons instead.
Lessons no good, no.
Well, what about with me?
Just... I'll teach you.
- One on one.
- You?
My manager might not be
okay with it, though,
so... can you keep a secret?
In Yiddish, secret,
that's my middle name.
- Hah.
- Okay then.
All right, all right,
I show up...
for the lesson.
I forgot to mention to you,
there is a fee.
A fee? What fee?
Pretzel dog.
With hot mustard.
Ah.
With mustard.
- And hit Save.
- So this is...
these are buttons,
but they're really not buttons,
but they're buttons anyway?
Yeah, that's
pretty much the idea...
...or call
I caught a bus...
To St. Louis
I got off
In Tennessee
Roamed around...
Oh, my God.
(gasping)
- I caught a...
- Choo-choo
Right up to D.C.
Call my buddy in Chicago
He said that she...
wasn't there
Took off my shoes...
Hello? Marvin?
Hey, Dad.
I'm watching the babies.
Yeah?
Yeah, this is
first iPhone call.
I'm having first lesson
- with Einstein Nina.
- Oh, yeah?
Oh, but Marvin, please,
don't tell your mother.
Searchin' for my baby...
(panting)
May I say you...
you have value
far more than pretzels.
Thank you, Mr. Samel.
I'm Mordecai.
- Mordecai.
- Yeah.
WOMAN ON P.A.:
Mr. Mordecai Samel.
Paging Mr. Mordecai Samel.
- Isn't that you?
- Yeah.
MARVIN:
So, it wasn't a heart attack.
Here's the thing, Dad.
The doctor...
thinks that
she has a form of dementia.
You know what that is?
It means that her mind...
isn't working like it used to.
Yeah, so, whose is?
Dad...
it means that
some days she'll be fine.
And others, she won't.
There's a name for it.
- You can read about it.
- Look.
Ali-Holmes fight.
We watched that
when you were little boy.
COMMENTATOR:
...in Las Vegas, Nevada.
That's the end
of round number seven.
Eh, shame.
Ali...
he's too old to fight.
He used to be so strong.
Now, look.
...and to see a man
that's just kind of
trying to...
looks to me, hang on
and keep the thing going
- for one more time.
- Dad.
Mom can't really be alone,
- you understand?
- Yeah.
You okay?
I'll be back.
(TV continues in background)
(sighing)
Huh.
Days like this,
I miss Siberia.
- (audience shouting)
- Ali's taking some fisticuffs.
(thunder crashing)
When your mind is a mess
So is mine,
I can't sleep
'Cause it hurts
when I think
My thoughts aren't
at peace
With the plans
that we make
Chances we take
They're not yours,
they're not mine
There's ways
that can break
All the words that
we said
And the words that we mean
Words can fall short
Can't see the unseen
'Cause the world is away
Somebody say now
Please close your eyes
Won't you please get
some sleep?
And know that
if I knew all of the answers
I would not
hold them from you
No, all of the things
that I know
We told each other
There is no other way
Mm-mm...
Too much silence can
be misleading
(phone chime)
Hear it in the way
that you're breathing
We don't really need
to find reason
Goes out the same door
that it came
Well, it's leaving,
it's leaving
(door closes)
How's your mom?
She's fine,
nothing to worry about.
Well, thank God.
You have to be shaken up,
are you all right?
Yeah, I'm fine.
What's all this?
Yeah, don't worry about it,
we can talk about it
another time.
Well, no, I can see
that you're stressed out.
Just tell me, what is it?
Well, it...
is what it looks like, Marvin.
It's bills,
and this-- this?--
is a credit card
I didn't even know we had
- that's completely maxed out.
- Well, I had to have cash
to keep the factory open, okay?
It's 0% for 18 months,
we're gonna be fine.
No-- we didn't pay
our mortgage last month, Marvin.
We have two baby girls,
I don't sleep.
Look, this is a cash flow
problem, that's all.
Every business goes
through this.
No, every business doesn't
borrow a lot of money
from your father.
You have to keep him
up to speed.
Why can't you talk to him?
(whispering)
Because he'll jinx it!
What?
He'll jinx the deal.
- Jinx, like bad luck?
- Yes!
When I was
about 16 years old,
we were all in the basement,
playing poker.
- (hip hop playing)
- Marvin, action on you.
MARVIN:
So I look at my hand.
And I've got pocket jacks
and another jack on the board,
which gives me
three of a kind.
Now, this is
the kind of hand
that I'm all set to win,
right out of the gate.
- And who walks in?
- I raise.
- My father.
- MORDECAI: Marvin!
- I call.
- I'm in a hand, Pop!
Right then,
I should've known better.
But what?
Another jack.
Four of a kind,
I can't lose.
- I call.
- I call.
Now, he might have a flush,
but if he does,
he's toast.
Four of a kind is
still the better hand.
- And I know it.
- I raise.
Ooh, Marvin,
that's a lot of money.
- And the trap is set.
- I'm all in.
And his money is now
gonna be mine.
I call.
It's in the bank, right?
Not even my dad could ruin this.
- Show me the money, right?
- Quad jacks.
- There ya go.
- Wouldn't you know it?
What?!
He pulled a double
inside straight flush
- against four jacks!
- How do you lose that?!
But that doesn't happen!
It's mathematically
impossible in poker.
It's never happened
in the history of poker, ever.
You know the difference
between me and my son?
I a plumber.
I turn shit into money.
- You turn money into shit.
- (laughter)
That's just one example
of many, many,
of my dad, the jinx.
(thunder crashing)
Honey, Marvin,
this is childish.
Your father has helped you
in every way.
Please...
talk to him,
and no more credit cards.
We have babies to feed.
(thunder crashing)
(cartoon music, sound effects)
(Mordecai laughing)
What you laughing?
That, uh...
that cartoon is
too violent for me.
You know,
booming the wall.
- Boom, I don't like that--
- You want I should change?
Yeah, please.
But don't put on that news.
All right,
all right, no news.
No news is good news.
Yeah.
- (channels changing)
- (microwave dings)
(phone vibrating)
What? What "screensaver"?
I got new kind of popcorn.
You try some.
Yeah, that...
that's special popcorn.
What you think?
It's good.
You don't even eat it.
No, it looks good.
Hi, eh, hello, Mrs. Gomez.
What now, Mordecai?
I wonder if you could
keep an eye on Fela
for a little while.
Occasionally.
The doctor says
she can't be alone.
I do it... for Fela.
All right, thank--
thank you very much.
So, here's the picture
you told me to bring
for the screen.
- is this your family?
- Yeah.
It's in Poland.
Yeah, this is me
at six years.
These are my two aunts,
who always played with me.
And my two brothers,
Moshe and Avram.
Moshe, he died during the war,
and Avram still
live in Israel,
and my Uncle Marek,
with the fiddle.
He always play,
even during the worst of times.
This is my father.
Where is your mother?
Well, she was sick
inside the house,
and this was only day
that the photo person
was in the area.
You know, I can't remember
my mother's face.
- At all?
- No.
This the only picture
of my family.
We had to leave everything.
It was 1939.
It was the world war.
You heard of Hitler?
- Yeah.
- Yeah?
Nice guy, hm?
So, my village,
Janw Podlaski,
they-- they didn't know it,
but Hitler was making
this deal with Stalin--
That's the squinty guy
with the big mustache?
Another wonderful fella.
They decide to split Poland
like a watermelon, hm?
Now, my town was in the east,
on the Russian border.
Now, this was lucky because
Hitler invaded from the west.
And then unlucky, 'cause
Russia invaded from the east.
Right into my village.
This give us front row seats
to the beginning
of World War II.
- (projector whirring)
- (German shouting)
(martial music)
(engines rumbling)
MORDECAI:
I don't really remember
my childhood.
But this day, I never forget.
(German shouting)
I never saw a plane or a tank
before in my life.
- (soft chatter)
- (German shouting)
MORDECAI:
What is war to a young boy?
(tank rattling)
(shouting in Yiddish)
(distant German shouting)
(indistinct shouting)
It was all very exciting.
Now, we have known
the neighbor our whole lives.
So, no big deal
to get the ball back.
- But then...
- (growling)
- Papa!
- I did not understand
what was happening.
- (grunting)
- The mean neighbor
chases me
into my father's arms,
and yells,
"Get your Jew rat son
"the hell off my property!
"When the Nazis come,
I will feed you
to Hitler myself."
My father made up his mind
that we had to leave right now.
But where will we go?
The Russians are no better
about Jews being rounded up.
"I say, you're crazy,
we can't leave now!
"This home is the only one
our family has ever known,
for generations."
(worried chatter)
"We leave tonight.
We cross the River Bug
and reach Soviet territory."
"But how will you know
it will be better?"
"We don't know
it will be better.
"But we pray that it will.
"Eventually, we hope
we can make it to Palestine,
and maybe America."
So, my father always told
the story that,
if my ball never bounced
into the mean neighbor's yard,
we would never have left.
But your family did
leave, right?
Except the aunties
and uncles, yeah.
They were going to wait
until the young one was better,
and then follow, but, um...
we never saw them.
They were sent to Treblinka.
You know Treblinka?
- The Nazi death camp?
- I've...
I've heard of it.
Anyway, we found
the records of my aunts
when we made a trip to Poland.
But, um...
they never made it out.
But here I am, still.
(chuckling)
I miss plumbing
and painting, too bad.
I miss going out on the town
and music
from the old days.
And my tuchus has shrunk
too skinny for my pants,
but too bad!
But I am alive!
Yeah.
MAN ON P.A.:
Good afternoon, Point East!
This is your last chance
for pool jazz-ercise!
Honey, she makes me crazy.
- (chuckling)
- She just asked
if we'd register the girls
for kindergarten.
- You gotta be kidding me.
- Nah, that's what I said.
I was like, please, can we just
enjoy our babies as babies
before we start buying
prom dresses?
What is that?
Looks like a big giant hole
in the ground.
- With my father in it.
- Yup.
(Mordecai straining)
What do you think
he's doing?
Well, Marvin,
I think he is
just being your dad.
(Mordecai straining)
Why don't you go
check on him?
The girls and I will
go see Fela.
- I wanna go with you.
- No! Talk to him.
Be patient.
Don't yell.
Be an adult, and...
have fun.
(Mordecai straining)
Hey.
What you doing?
Digging for worms
for a fishing expedition.
What do you think I'm doing?
Those motherfucks,
they wanted to hire
a plumbing company.
Told them I'll do it better
and for half the price.
I'm a plumber.
- You need any help?
- Ergh, yeah.
Give me the pipe wrench there.
No-no-no,
not the crescent wrench,
the pipe wrench,
there, there.
Ahh, you don't know the tools.
(Mordecai straining)
Oy... all right.
All right,
now give me the...
Channellock.
I don't know
what a Channellock is.
You don't know? Here.
That one there.
That's a Channellock, see, huh?
You don't know nothing.
Well, how would I?
The only time you let me
come on a plumbing trip
with you,
you fired me
after ten minutes.
Because you were incompetent.
I was seven!
Heh, I was
in Siberian orphanage
when I was seven years old, huh?
Hard life for you, huh?
I know how much
you've done for me, Dad,
but you know what?
You're a little rough
- on me sometimes.
- Ah, you don't know from rough.
Give me the endcap there.
What's an endcap?
Endcap, endcap, yeah,
see this? Yeah.
I raised a schlemiel.
You know, Dad, I didn't
come here to fight with you.
I actually thought
I'd update you
on the cigar deal.
Something good maybe?
Well... not yet, I mean,
the cigars are rolled,
but the tobacco
hasn't cured yet.
We have to wait a little longer.
- How much longer?
- We don't know.
We don't know,
but we know that
we're onto something
really special here.
The only problem is
that the buyer doesn't
wanna take our business
until the cigars are
- on the shelves.
- Yeah, well, I don't blame him.
So, you're so close.
Put your cigars
on the shelf,
who's gonna
know the difference?
Everyone knows the difference.
It's the taste.
Everyone knows the taste.
- Smoke tastes like smoke.
- Oh, my God.
You wait for
special smoke, huh?
While you wait for
different-tasting smoke,
bills go unpaid.
This is asinine.
I mortgaged
my condo for you.
I know you did, Dad,
and I thank you.
I have been paying
the interest.
Ay, what about I don't wait
for that different smoke?
- That's not gonna happen.
- Ah, but... what if?
Huh? Can you pay
the workers?
Can you keep
the lights on?
- Can you stay in business?
- (sighing)
Ugh! You see?
You ask my opinion,
I'd've given instruction.
But no, what,
the whole thing's in the toilet?
This is a fucking crazy way
of doing business.
You know that?
Look at what you did,
you nudnik!
(distant gulls cawing)
I wish to talk to you
about our son.
He don't respect me.
What could I have done
wrong, huh?
If he only knew what I did
to make his childhood better?
No, it is so far from home.
Is too-large ocean
to cross going to America.
This is intercoastal waterway.
Manmade by dredging.
This is not Atlantic...
Fela?
It's your husband
speaking to you.
I was just...
yeah, well,
would be nice
to someday have shower.
I'm waiting
for the shower pan.
(soft music)
(phone vibrating)
(uptempo dance music)
(revving)
Whoo!
INSTRUCTOR:
Come on, everybody!
Together!
And left and down!
And right
and down!
Together! And down.
All right--
keep going!
Iris, you look great
out there!
Come on, everyone,
keep that energy up!
You all are doing
so amazing out there.
Tuesday, there are
free samples at the grocery.
- So we go there now.
- Mordecai, I think
it's time we changed up
your routine.
- What do you mean, you know?
- Take out your phone taxi app.
My phone--
I-I-I don't know...
It's time you lived a little.
Oh...
(uptempo music)
(beeping)
Can you feel it now?
Oh...
You really turned me
upside-down
Let me hear you say
Never too late to be
who you wanna be
- Aah!
- (laughing)
(laughing)
Full of new
possibility...
What do you think
about these shirts, Mordecai?
Ah, a shirt's a shirt.
I'm 80 years old.
Nobody cares
what clothes I wear.
Oh...
Feel the rhythm
of this town
Can you feel it now?
Oh...
You really turn me
upside-down
Let me hear you say
Never too late to be
who you wanna be
MORDECAI: So, after almost
my whole life as an orphan,
I turned 19, I went
searching for my family,
and I find them.
My father, he comes to me,
and he says,
"Meet your new mommy,
"meet your new sister.
We're going to Israel."
I say,
"What is Israel?"
He said, "This is
the Jewish homeland.
"It's a beautiful country.
"Palm trees.
The Mediterranean Sea.
It's nice weather."
- Sounds like a nice change.
- Eh, that's what I thought.
But, when we arrive,
after six week travel,
they hand me a rifle,
they put me in the front lines
of the 1956
Arab-Israeli War.
I don't even know
who I'm fighting.
Oh, my God, Mordecai,
that's terrible.
- I'm so sorry that you--
- Oh, no-no-no-no...
no, I'm not complaining.
No, no, look at
where we are now, huh?
It's a beautiful city.
Beautiful art, huh?
So... why you never talk
about yourself?
Huh?
I wish I could do
work like this.
But my paintings don't exist
in the real world.
They're all digital.
In the cloud.
I am painter.
Mordecai, you never told me
you were an artist.
Nah, well,
it's easier than iPhone.
(laughing)
(distant horns honking)
JARED:
Mr. Samel.
Oh, hi, Jerry.
It's Jared, Mr. Samel.
- Uh-huh.
- Hey, you know
Ray's Original?
Right across
from Pretzelmaker?
Right across from Taffy Swirl?
Have you ever stood
in the exact spot
where all three smells collide?
I stopped smelling
in my 70s.
It was--
It was a joke, Mr. Samel.
Oh...
Check it out.
I'm doing a set
at the Tea & Poets.
- You might wanna come?
- You're standing up?
Yeah, for as long as
they let me.
So, where's Nina?
Nina-- she's
at her other gig.
Volunteering at
the Jewish Community Center.
I no know she work there.
- Why the JCC?
- I don't know.
Anyway, she said
you gotta get some tunes
back in your life.
Follow me.
Have you ever road-tested
a pair of Beats?
- What is that?
- Are you kidding?
You-- You've never--
holy shit, may I see
your phone, Mr. Samel?
It's-- I Mordecai.
Mordecai, I imagine
- you're a classical music man?
- Yeah.
But I--
I prefer klezmer.
This is old Jewish music,
mostly gone by now.
No such thing as gone
on the internet.
Listen, Mordecai.
Yeah.
(soft klezmer music)
Ooh...
(klezmer continues)
Ooh!
Oh, this is
like morning sunrise
over the fucking
wheat fields!
(klezmer continues)
- (alarm ringing)
- Mordecai?
You have to pay for that!
(klezmer continues)
(klezmer drowns out voice)
...bocce ball tournament?
How great is...
(klezmer drowns out Mordecai)
I can't hear you.
(phone vibrating)
What is this?
- (vibrating)
- Oh!
Hello, this Siri?
SIRI:
What can I help you with?
Oh, hello.
- You are Siri?
- Yes, I'm Siri.
Here to help.
Oh, Siri,
that's a nice name.
- How are you today?
- I'm fine, thank you.
Your friend Nina,
she tell me to call you.
Maybe you can take me
to this place.
1293 Bantam Avenue, Miami.
Getting directions
to 1293 Bantam Avenue, Miami.
May I say-- you have
a beautiful voice.
I keep this secret,
because my wife don't know.
She get jealous.
Mordecai, you made it.
Ah, I take phone taxi
all by myself.
So proud of you.
Come on in.
So... this is yours?
- Yes.
- Ahh.
You need painter?
I'm a painter.
Well, then let's get started.
- This way.
- Yeah.
(slow klezmer music)
(laughing)
(music continues)
(music continues)
(music fades)
Oh, my God, Mordecai,
this is beautiful.
- What do you think?
- I love it.
- Yeah?
- I mean,
you told me you painted,
but I didn't know you painted
- like this--
- Oh, I paint houses.
- You're an artist.
- Yeah-- no, oh,
no, I-- well,
I used to make paintings,
but this is
a first mural.
- So, I teach you...
- I teach you.
- That's a deal.
- That's a deal.
(rustling)
(thud)
(soft music)
Netta?
Hey.
Pedro delivered these
this morning.
Well, guess there's
no time like the present.
NETTA:
Here we go.
Smells good.
What do you think?
(exhaling)
Marvin, honey,
what do you think?
(sighing)
It's not ready.
And your dad's here.
- Ah, Netta.
- Dad, what're you doing here?
Well, I wish to go to this--
what you call it--
stand-up comic event tonight.
- What?
- So, uh...
Mrs. Gomez, she has a date
with this weaselly man,
so I got the problem
with your mother.
- What's the problem?
- Well...
can she come here
this evening for a while?
And maybe she help
with the children.
Dad, I prefer to be here
when Mom's here, okay?
And besides,
tonight is my big cigar event.
Your event... you mean,
when you make big speeches
about cigars
and give 'em out
for nothing like an imbecile,
and then everybody drinks
brandy, which you also pay for?
Yeah, that's about
exactly right.
Except that it's bourbon.
I'll tell you what.
I'll make you a deal:
you don't talk
about the cigar business
for 24 hours,
- and I'll make it happen.
- You got it.
I go get her.
But can you get her here
by, like, 6:00?
Mordecai... ha-ha.
How long I supposed to be
waiting in that phone taxi?
All right--
there she is, I go.
Marvin, no!
I have my monthly
Mommy and Me
dinner tonight.
Hi!
(laughing)
That's my girl.
- Hi!
- More beautiful than always.
You too!
Where are those babies now?
MARVIN:
Sleeping.
I-I go find them,
I go inside.
EMCEE:
And now, next comic,
welcome Jared Barrett.
(applause)
Yeah!
Hi, uh...
there's a lot of people here.
All these people for you.
Yeah, that's good.
Shit!
What is? What?
You see the man over there
with the suit jacket on?
See, the bigger guy?
That's Fernando Vasquez.
He's a potential buyer
for my company.
I did not know
he was coming tonight.
Yeah? It's good for you
I say hello.
No, Ma,
he's a potential buyer!
Yeah, a sales opportunity.
I say hello.
Marvin, what's up, bro?
- Hey.
- How you doin', guy?
- How you doin', man?
- Yeah, good to see you.
- Ton of people here to see ya.
- Thank you so much.
Hi, how are you, hello.
Hi, thank you so much
for coming.
Thank you...
(sighing)
MAN:
Marvin, you see
who your mother is
walking up to?
That guy Fernando,
he may look like a schlub,
but he is a fucking killer.
Hello, I am
Marvin Samel's mother.
- Oh.
- Oy.
2nd EMCEE: I wanna
thank everyone for coming out
to Empire Social tonight.
It's an important night,
and I wanna introduce
my friend and yours,
from Fumore Cigar Company,
Mr. Marvin Samel.
(applause)
Thank you very much, Ryan,
thank you for putting
this night together.
I really appreciate it.
...on NPR, they're saying
that the digital age
is making the human
attention span shorter.
Hey! I hear this joint has
great craft beers.
(silence)
So, I don't know
what they're talkin' about.
Okay, tough crowd, uh...
- PATRON: You suck!
- Oh, what else to say...
MARVIN: All right,
the third cigar
we're gonna smoke tonight,
the wrapper is
a medium dark broadleaf
grown in Ecuador.
I'm sorry, no, it's--
it's a San Andreas negra
grown in Nicaragua.
- That what he meant to say.
- Okay.
WOMAN:
He's struggling.
(clearing throat)
So, uh... God,
- uh...
- Marvin.
So everyone has enjoyed
your cigars for many years,
and you know, we wanna know
how you got into the business.
I mean, you brought your mom
with you tonight,
and I think it's great--
is this a family business?
Is that you started in cigars?
Are you kidding me?
My father was a plumber.
And also house painter,
painted houses.
Yes, and a painter.
Sometimes both at once.
I heard that guy
talking about how he...
hates his mother?
- (murmurs)
- Uh...
- Oy vey.
- WOMAN: You suck!
I go help Jerry.
What?
- Don't worry.
- No-- Mordecai!
- I hear--
- Jerry!
Yeah?
Hey, Jerry,
what are you doing?
Uh, dying.
Oh.
Why don't you talk
about something that you know?
Do you have a funny story?
Um, my mom's printer
jammed last night.
Well, I show you.
Hello? I Mordecai.
I tell you story.
You might like.
I was once a plumber
in Canarsie, Brooklyn.
So I'm finishing installation
of the sink for Mrs. Green.
- She says to me--
- Beautiful job, Mordecai.
Tell me,
you know where I can find
a good house painter?
I wanna paint the whole house,
the whole thing.
Ooh.
I say, Mrs. Green,
I paint it too.
I will paint all four
of your apartments,
Including the basement.
I'll give you a good price.
She says to me,
"But, Mordecai,
you are plumber.
You are not a painter."
So I think for, mm...
all right, if you don't
want to use me,
perhaps you should call
my brother Martin,
who is a very good painter.
The best painter
in all of Canarsie, Brooklyn.
(soft laughter)
You have a brother?
Of course.
All my life.
- (laughter)
- So she says, "All right,
"give me the number
of your brother Martin,
I will call him."
So, I run back home--
So my father comes home,
he says, "If Mrs. Green...
"calls your line,
looking for Martin the Painter,
- you give to me the phone."
- (laughter)
I'm looking at him,
like, Martin the Painter,
I don't understand.
He says, "Don't ask
- no fucking questions!"
- Don't ask-- Don't ask!
"Mrs. Green calls?
To me you give the phone."
- Mm.
- Of course, so now,
it's ringing,
and he's chasing after me,
"Pick up,
pick up your phone!"
So, I'm terrified,
I'm panicked,
I answer the phone, "Hello?"
- (laughter)
- So, I look at my father.
I'm like, "Really, Dad,
Martin the Painter?"
He smacks me before
he takes the phone.
He says, "Yes, yes,
Mordecai is my brother."
Yes, I can come over
and give estimate.
And then he looks at me,
and he winks,
and he says,
"Oh, directions?
No, it's all right,
Mordecai's here, I ask him."
(laughter)
- So...
- I get out...
of my green
plumbing uniform,
and I put on the white pants
and the white shirt,
and I steal my son's hat
and run back
to Mrs. Green.
I come in the door, I say,
hello, Mrs. Green,
I am Martin the Painter.
My God, you look
just like your brother.
I say, of course,
we are twins.
(laughter)
MARVIN:
This is all a true story.
- Ma, am I right?
- Please, now,
- don't even remind me.
- (laughter)
MARVIN:
So, the next week--
Martin, Martin, quick!
Call your brother Mordecai!
There's a flood in the basement!
Don't worry, I'll take care
of it right away!
No, no, Martin,
you are the painter!
I need Mordecai the Plumber!
- I was-- I'll go get him.
- Oy.
MARVIN: In comes my father,
still got the white
painters' pants on,
goes to big plumber's pants,
and bang,
he's out the door again.
And she says,
"But where is Martin?
He not finished yet!"
No, that's all right.
He'll be back tomorrow.
Meanwhile, I'll fix
your flood today, huh?
(laughter)
(laughing) And that's
how he made a living.
For 20 years.
So I was plumber, painter,
Mordecai,
Martin Samel.
Two phone lines,
two business cards, two names.
And no one in Canarsie
ever knew the difference
for 20 years.
And until this moment,
right now,
no one until this day
ever found out.
(cheering and applause)
I like this.
- I send Maria...
- Uh-huh?
my recipe for couscous...
- Oh, that's wonderful.
- But that's secret.
Okay, no-no, she's gonna do
a great job with that.
And let me tell you,
Fernando, you no worry
about these other cigar guys
wishing to buy
Marvin's company.
First of all,
that only rumor.
- Oh.
- And I going to tell Marvin
you're mensch, okay?
Thank you, Fela.
- Don't worry.
- Good to see you.
I will not worry.
I've had a delightful time
- with your mother all night.
- We talking so much.
I'm thinking that maybe...
let's close this deal
and buy your company.
Marvin, this is smart man.
Whoa, great,
yeah, absolutely.
I'll have my attorney
set up the meeting.
- Okay, great.
- Huh?
- You see how smart?
- Fela, you are a gem.
Oh, you too.
- Okay, love to Maria, right?
- Take care.
And I'll be
seeing you very soon.
- Yes, Fernando, thank you.
- All right.
What did you say to him?
Him our friend now, you know?
Sometimes Yiddish
help out better
than fancy degree
from college.
I guess so.
I guess so.
I tired now.
We go home now.
- Okay, come on.
- We go home now.
Anybody else
you wanna talk to?
- No, done.
- Okay.
Fela?
Fela?
Fela?
(phone ringing)
- Hey, Dad.
- Hey, Marvin?
Is your mother there?
Is she still with you?
FELA:
It's me, Mordecai.
MARVIN:
It was amazing.
Mom got us the deal!
- What?
- The cigar deal!
It's a lock. They're not waiting
until the cigars are ready.
They want the company now.
Well, congratulations!
Why don't you come here,
and you'll celebrate?
Listen, it's late.
I thought it would be nice
for Mom to spend the night
and see the girls
in the morning.
But we not spend
the night apart, never.
- Okay, love you, Dad.
- (dial tone)
(scoffs)
(scoffs)
(thunder rumbling)
(German shouting)
(soldier boots marching)
(airplanes rumbling)
NEIGHBOR:
"When the Nazis come,
I will feed you
to Hitler myself."
(gunfire)
Ugh.
(somber fiddling)
(soft chatter)
(rumbling)
(German shouting on megaphone)
(shouting continues)
(echoing voices, rumbling)
(chants of "Sieg Heil")
(screaming)
(shouting names in Yiddish)
(shouting continues)
(muffled shouting)
(train whistle blowing)
(overlapping shouts)
(shouting continues)
(gasping)
Mama?
Mama!
(sobbing)
Mama!
(sighing)
Fela.
You just came back just now?
Yeah.
- Oh.
- Mordecai,
what's going on with you?
Ah, it's...
old memories,
I... think too much.
Mm. Fela...
sit down.
Sit here.
I...
Fela...
I have a confession.
(gasping)
I kept iPhone
against your wishes.
Also, I...
I take lessons.
For learning.
That's where I go
when I'm on my own.
(sighing)
Look, I feel...
like I'm becoming old man.
This, I'm not ready for this.
I not ready to be old man.
Yeah, but, Mordecai...
you are old man.
Huh?
That why you spending
all that time
with the dark-haired lady?
Oh, yeah, I...
I saw those lessons.
Second floor, by pretzels.
But only lessons.
Yes, only, yes.
Yeah!
Oh, yeah,
yeah-yeah-yeah...
it's only lessons.
That's all.
- Yeah, good.
- Uh-huh.
Because you know
something, Mordecai,
I love you.
I love you too.
Thank you.
(chuckling)
No-no, it's nice
you take me to big deal.
- But I no understand--
- Because it's a done deal.
Netta was right, I couldn't've
gotten here without you.
- That right?
- Dad, what I'm trying
to tell you,
is that I trust you.
Yeah, but I--
I no understand.
The buyer was waiting
for the new cigar,
but now they don't have to?
(chuckling)
Well, I don't know
what to tell ya.
Maybe they changed their mind,
I mean, that happens.
Oh, this is
too good to be true.
This is a crazy business.
You watch out.
Dad, maybe this trust thing
goes both ways.
- Eh.
- Whoa, where are you going?
I'm going
to the meeting with you.
- I pick up my check.
- No, I need to do
this part on my own,
you wait here.
After it's over,
we'll go to a nice,
- celebratory lunch, okay?
- I thought you trust me.
I trust you,
just not that much.
Hm.
All right, all right,
I go take a piss.
Oy, never turn 80.
Huh? Piss three times
during "Jeopardy."
You work
in the fancy office, hm?
My son,
he owns a cigar company.
Fancy big-fish company's
going to buy.
Today, finally.
It was taking forever.
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.
We had to wait
for the tobacco to be okay.
- Oh.
- So we wait and wait
and wait
on the tobacco,
until we almost go broke.
We were hanging on
by the skin of our fingernails.
We could've gone kaput.
Huh.
They literally pulled
the deal off the table.
NETTA: What?!
Why? What did they say?
I don't know, something about
bringing us another offer.
What happened?
Netta, it's me, Mordecai.
Who knows?
Who knows what happened?
Huh? This cigar business is
a crazy way to make a living.
You. You happened.
You're a jinx.
It was a done deal,
and your mere presence
fucked the cosmic tumblers,
again!
- Marvin!
- Yeah, Marvin!
NINA: What's going on
with you today?
You seem... down.
Nah, nothing, eh...
I just feel like...
disappointment to my family.
My wife, she believes
I'm a liar.
My son, he imagines
I'm a jinx on his life.
Why is that?
Well, years ago,
he bring me to a head shrinker
to find out.
And the head shrinker...
he says since
I never had a childhood,
I don't want childhood
for my son.
I tell him to fuck off.
Of course you did.
Mm.
But he's right.
I probably hard
on Marvin, I know.
I just wanted him to have
better life than I had.
- That's all.
- Well, maybe
you can tap
into what it was missing.
Like, what is something
that you've always wanted to do,
since you were a kid,
but never got the chance to?
Ah.
You know...
I have inspiration now
to make more art.
I would also like to remember
the face of my mother.
Okay, then... you work
on being a kid again
so that you can remember
your mother's face
and become
a better father to your son.
You think that would work?
(as Mordecai)
I think that "vould vork."
- CASHIER: There you go, sir.
- Thank you very much.
FELA: ...and I don't know
what that mean.
- I wanted two...
- Oh, thanks.
So, uh, Dad...
what's with the ice cream?
Ice cream? Makes you feel
like a kid again.
- MORDECAI: Huh?
- What?
Ice cream,
it make you feel young.
- Ice cream make me feel young.
- Ya big--
married to a big baby
make me feel young.
(chuckling)
Martin?
(gasping)
I-I would recognize
that hat anywhere.
It's Mrs. Green,
from Canarsie!
Oh, yeah, Mrs. Green.
This other brother, Mordecai.
Oh, Mordecai,
it's so good to see you.
Oh, my goodness, oh, my--
and little Marvin,
you were just a little boy
the last time I saw you.
(chuckling)
So, tell me,
what are you doing here?
Well, we live here,
in Point East.
I live next door!
In Williams Island.
- What do you know?
- We're neighbors again.
- After all these years.
- Yeah, yeah.
Mordecai, tell me...
how's your brother Martin?
Martin? Oh.
Not so good.
He dead.
- (chokes)
- Oh!
Oh... my beautiful Martin.
Well, listen,
we-- we have to go,
because we have
an appointment,
very important.
We must go now, come on.
Yeah, we go-- sorry.
Goodbye, Mrs. Green.
Goodbye.
Why would you tell
that nice little old lady
that your twin imaginary
brother is dead?
- It's mean!
- I'm retired.
Why do I have to go on
living this lie?
Shut the fuck up,
eat your ice cream.
Good boy, come on.
(singing in Yiddish)
(Fela dampened by music)
- (music fades)
- What?
Yeah, I talking to you,
you no pay attention to me.
Oh, sorry-sorry-sorry.
I was, um, busy with, um...
Take a look.
- (chuckling)
- (gasping)
You make me look so young.
(singing in Yiddish)
(both singing in Yiddish)
Hm?
MORDECAI:
Heh, that's me.
I'm Mordecai.
I'm the exhibitionist, yeah.
Ho! Nina!
Jared, don't go away!
I'm exhibitionist!
I don't know,
I don't...
Super Mordecai.
You're looking all spry.
Yeah, it's a nice day--
here, take a look, huh?
I-- I exhibitionist.
- Exhibitionist.
- Yeah.
- I don't think that's--
- Sure, you are.
I'll remember
to avert my eyes.
Oh! I'm having a party,
you should come.
I don't remember the last time
I went to a party.
Well, we'll see.
I very busy, handing out flyers.
Hello in there!
I see you!
Here.
- Huh?
- Art?
There's a brand new style of art
called "geezer art."
You may be interested, huh?
Oh, don't throw away.
This may be worth
something someday, huh?
Eh?
(rock-infused klezmer)
Hello.
(music fades)
(birds tweeting)
Mama.
MORDECAI:
There's a party later today.
At Jerry Einstein's place.
You know who he is.
One of the Einsteins, yeah.
So I want you should
come with me.
- No.
- Yeah, yeah, come on.
- I do.
- Yeah, you know, Mordecai...
ah, no,
I-I very tired tonight.
Maybe another time, though.
All right, okay.
No, we'll watch
television together.
- You want grape?
- Thank you.
That one look good.
(soft voices on TV)
Okay, you know,
you-you go,
but you only stay
one hour, right?
This is okay for me, to go?
Yeah.
But only one hour.
I promise, one hour.
(dance music)
(soft chatter)
Mordecai?
MORDECAI:
When I was your age,
I drove barge
on the Dead Sea in Israel.
1957, 1970.
Elvis Presley comes and goes,
I'm driving the barge.
Vietnam War,
it comes and goes,
I'm still driving the barge.
They get the man
on the moon, yeah,
I'm still driving barge.
(soft laughter)
Only vacation I get
is in 1967,
and that was to fight
in the Six-Day War.
I don't even get
a whole week, hmm?
- (laughter)
- Only six days?
- I need a longer war.
- (laughter)
Mordecai, no talking,
just smoking.
- Oh...
- (laughter)
Last time I smoked,
it was hashish.
I was driving army truck
right across Egypt.
(laughter)
(murmurs, exclamations)
TV HOST:
It's a big drop
if you get this one wrong.
CONTESTANT:
I know, I'm just...
(soft moan)
(dance music)
(cheering)
(elevator dings)
COMMENTATOR: ...the home side
has something going now,
and the crowd is loving it.
It's the bottom
of the eighth inning,
and so far it's been
a very tight game.
GUARD:
Mrs. Samel, wait!
Stay there!
Wait!
(tires squealing)
It's interesting,
you are this young girl
who is interested
in the older generation.
You're very special girl, Nina.
Very special.
- (chuckling)
- I'm really not, so--
I say you are,
so you are.
You are the nicest girl
I ever met
in the entire world.
Listen...
there is something
I've been meaning to tell you
- for a while.
- Yeah?
Mm-hm?
(sighing)
So, what is this?
My grandfather.
You know...
I left my phone...
No, just...
my grandfather was
an SS officer.
He was a guard at Treblinka.
He died a couple months ago...
I came home
from school to...
help my mom and dad
with his house.
There was
a box in his basement.
A hidden locker.
And it had his documents
in it, a uniform.
Your parents,
they knew this?
My mom didn't.
And my dad, I mean,
he says he didn't know,
but it was his father.
How could he not?
And then I met you, and...
you told me
how your aunts didn't
survive Treblinka.
The Jewish Center.
Mm.
800,000 Jews
they took to Treblinka.
Only a few dozen got out.
You're young, see?
It's your curse.
I don't know how you could
understand anyway.
You can't.
No.
My dad found me.
He contacted me.
And...
he's coming here soon to...
reconnect.
I don't know what to do.
Ask your phone.
JARED:
Mordecai!
Mordecai!
Messages.
On your phone.
It's about your wife.
MARVIN: So, you've seen
a swelling in the brain...
(whispers)
She'll be fine.
Mr. Samel, she's resting.
Apparently
a car sideswiped her,
and she took a hard fall.
She's got a fractured arm,
and we'll check
for a concussion,
but I think she dodged
a bullet here.
Any idea why she was wandering
on Biscayne Boulevard
in a nightgown?
Because...
I wasn't there.
Dad... can I talk to you
for a second in the hallway?
Dad, what were you doing?
Where did you go?
You smell like a keg.
I was at the Einstein party.
The what?!
You know, the...
The-- The sales kid
Jared and Nina?
- Mm-hm.
- You've gotta be kidding me.
Dad, these are not
your friends.
Okay? I pay them
to teach you.
That's right, I pay Nina
to give you iPhone lessons,
okay, not to get you wasted
and have you out so Mom can
go wandering in the dark
and get hit by a car!
We're lucky
she wasn't killed.
(sighing)
Look, you're
an 80-year-old man.
Act like it.
I'll tell you something else.
The deal?
I'm gonna take the shitty deal
that they came back with.
Okay? So I can
pay you back
and not have to worry
about this shit anymore.
MORDECAI:
Oh, Fela...
what happened?
I told you
I'd be back soon.
Why didn't you stay home?
Why didn't I?
Fela... I need you.
Mama.
I feel so...
sorry.
Ooh... mm.
(whispering)
Oh, ay-yi-yi-yi...
Mm-hm.
(doorbell ringing)
(seagull cawing)
Marvin pay you to check on me?
How's your wife?
I tried calling.
Okay, he did pay me.
But only for the lessons.
Mordecai, please,
I trust you.
Okay, and--
and you're my friend.
The money didn't buy that.
I don't know
any other way to say it.
Look, you should go.
My dad's here.
I know that it's selfish,
and I know that
the timing is terrible, but...
I need you, Mordecai.
Mordecai.
Let her in.
Come in, come in.
Now, looking at you...
I stupid old woman.
I jealous of you.
And you--
you beautiful.
But you just child.
Well, and also no competition.
Rumors at the mall say
you're a force of nature.
Oh-oh.
- (laughing)
- Okay.
So, Nina,
I hear your grandfather
was bigshot Nazi.
(sighing)
I don't know what to say.
Give me your hand.
Must've been
so hard for you
to find out what he did.
And if your father
is telling you the truth,
must have been
very hard for him, too.
I never really thought
about it like that.
Oh, yeah, you know...
sometimes I thinking
it's good to put yourself
in other one's shoes.
You want coffee?
(door shuts)
She's awesome.
(chuckling)
Yeah.
Will you come with me?
(window slides open)
FELA:
Mordecai, go!
- (window slides closed)
- All right.
(klezmer music playing)
- I can't do this.
- No, no-no-no--
- Maybe we should go.
- No!
I work on being a kid
and a father to my son.
Now you work
on being a grownup
and a daughter
to your father.
Mm.
How's Mom?
She's, um...
she misses you.
Does she believe you?
Yes, after we talked.
All these people...
the people who were
affected most by our...
history?
(applause)
Ladies and gentlemen,
let's welcome to the stage
our guest of honor,
who is one century old today!
Ms. Ida Brown!
(applause)
First, I want to thank
everyone for coming.
I think that,
in a strange way...
the thing
that binds us together
is our shared suffering.
The pain of our past.
The pain
of our people's history.
Yes, the war was terrible.
Yes...
we lost friends...
family...
whole communities,
but for those of us
who are left,
the greatest condemnation
of Hitler...
is not just
to survive and grieve,
not just to remember,
but to bless this life
we were given.
And to dance.
- (applause)
- MAN: L'chaim!
That's my friend Mordecai
right there.
It's... feasible
that his aunts were
killed by Granddad.
MARVIN: I have been
traveling back and forth
to Estel for three years now
for this plant.
(music)
Now, you guys know
the time, the sweat,
the love that goes
into making a great cigar.
This time,
I think I've got it.
So, guys, friends, competitors,
what do you think?
Is this cigar a symphony?
MAN: Sorry, Marvin,
this cigar just isn't ready.
Take the deal now, buddy.
But here's the thing,
as cigar makers,
we don't really think
about "the endgame"
in terms of making money.
'Cause this is a passion.
(phone vibrating)
(soft chatter)
- (knocking on window)
- Marvin! It's your father!
Netta, please,
please, no-- please!
Hey, Mordecai?
- Hello, Marv-- Netta?
- Yeah.
- MAN: What's going on?
- (sighing)
My father's calling,
it's all right, so--
You know, in another
three, six months,
you'll have something here.
- (groaning)
- Okay, so what?
FERNANDO: Marvin,
uh, maybe you should start
with signing the orange tabs.
Yeah.
(distant voices)
Marvin?
Hey, psst.
(sighing)
Um... would you all
just excuse me
for just a moment, please?
What the hell are
you doing here?
No, wait-wait-wait.
All right.
Netta tells me
the deal you're making
is on Thursday.
- so I come in--
- Dad.
No-no-no-no,
this is what I have to say.
I go to the bank
this morning.
Who knew the condo was
worth so much?
I take out a second mortgage.
For a rainy day.
Or for the unsuspecting jinx
of the cigar investment.
Also, it's possible
I'm proud of you.
It is a possibility.
Hm?
(chuckling)
(distant chatter)
Hey, everybody, um...
I'd love to just take a second,
if you don't mind,
to introduce my father.
This is
Mordecai Samel.
Hey, are we gonna
get this done?
Actually,
I don't think we can.
How close are we to having
the best damn cigar of the year?
Oh, yeah-- very close.
Very close,
and once we have
the best damn cigar
of the year,
that's gonna cause
a lot of buzz, isn't it?
- Yeah, all that buzzing.
- Lot of buzzing.
I was under the impression
that you didn't have
the funds to wait it out.
Well, I think you were under
the wrong impression.
So, if you do wanna return
to the original deal structure,
we're gonna need to know
in the next 48 hours?
Yeah, no, 48 hours.
(phone ringing)
Mordecai, you got
so many calls on this thing.
You know, first crazy guy
from art gallery,
then Nina, then Jared,
who's coming here.
- What?
- Yeah.
(honking)
You're gonna be a no-show
to your own exhibition?
No, I no leave Fela
alone at night.
- She don't want me to come.
- Then why are we here?
Why'd she tell us to come?
Fela?
Come on, get changed.
- You sure?
- Yeah, I sure.
You don't-- You don't--
- Ah.
- You want...
("Life Is,"
The Sunday Drivers)
Life is like a wheel,
rolling over me
Rolling over life
Only we believe
what we want to see
Thinking it's all right
Life could be a steal,
if we make the deal
Watching our own...
I come.
Yes, welcome.
This is my first art viewing.
Yeah, well, don't be nervous,
it's mine too.
(laughter)
Maybe we could meet
for lunch someday, huh?
Yes, okay.
I view your art now.
But my art is over here.
I know!
All that went before
coming back for more
Swimming in sunshine
Life could be a steal
if we make a deal
Watching our own
illusions fly
We live...
Fela, where's Mrs. Gomez?
How you get here?
What, you take phone taxi?
I... took a Marvin taxi.
I took a Netta taxi.
Marvin.
I'm glad you came.
I'm glad I came too, Dad.
Come here.
Dad, thank you
for everything you did for us.
It meant a lot.
Listen, I--
I wish to know about the deal,
but, um, with respect,
you don't have to say.
Dad, you should know
about the deal.
I gave them
two days to respond.
They responded in two hours!
I didn't get to the parking lot!
- You mean they buy?
- "They buy"? They buy big.
- (laughing)
- They buy big!
Mr. Mordecai!
- You ready?
- Huh?
- You ready?
- Oh, Nina, Jared.
I've never been
more happy in my life.
Ladies and gentlemen,
can I have
your attention please?
To the man
who has taught me...
so much.
I am so proud to present
Mordecai Samel's
Art History.
And Einsteins--
if you will, please.
(patron murmurs)
- (applause)
- VOICE: Bravo.
VOICE:
Speech, Mordecai, speech!
You see?
We teach each other.
That's what friends do.
(chuckling)
Well...
now, the first thing
I would like to say is that
- I talk too much.
- (laughter)
Then I, you know...
I look around.
And I see...
- (laughter)
- ...it's nice to be young.
It's nice to be old.
It's nice to have phone
with no buttons.
(laughter)
Also, it's...
it's nice to have family.
It's nice to have friends.
(soft music)
(gasps, murmurs)
Mama.
L'chaim!
- ALL: L'chaim!
- (applause)
(cheering and applause)
VOICES:
Wonderful! Well done!
You see what I told you?
It always works out.
(laughter)
Fela? Fela?
Fela?
Fela? Fela?
It's me.
It's your husband.
Mordecai.
Where are you going?
I don't know.
Okay.
I'll go with you.
Come, I go with you.
- You-You...
- Yeah.
Come on.
Thank you.
("Don't Dream It's Over,"
Crowded House)
- Mordecai?
- Yeah?
Yeah, let's go home.
Me.
There is freedom within
There is
freedom without
Try to catch the deluge
in a paper cup
There's a battle ahead
Many battles are lost
But you'll never
see the end of the road
While you're
traveling with me
Hey now, hey now
Don't dream it's over
Hey now, hey now
When the world comes in
They come, they come
To build a wall between us
We know they won't win
Now I'm towing my car
There's a hole in the roof
My possessions are
causing me suspicion
But there's no proof
In the paper today
Tales of war and of waste
But you turn right over
to the T.V. page
Hey now, hey now
Don't dream it's over
Hey now, hey now
When the world comes in
They come, they come
To build a wall between us
We know they won't win
(instrumental)
(instrumental continues)
Now I'm walking again
to the beat of a drum
And I'm counting
the steps to the door
Of your heart
(speaking Yiddish)
(repeating Yiddish phrase)
- Oh.
- VOICE: Do it one more time.
(speaking Yiddish)
(repeating Yiddish phrase)
- MAN: That's good.
- That's good.
You know what?
When I was your age,
I grow up...
you know what I was wearing?
Diaper...
from a sack of potatoes!
I was sleeping
in a hole on straw.
I didn't have a house.
I was always hungry.
I didn't have a mommy.
- No?
- No.
I don't believe in dreams,
but this is
like a dream come true.
I have two grandkids
from my son,
I have five grandchildren
from my daughter.
And... work out
very good for me.
That's the story,
my friend.
(laughing)
- Don't let them win
- Hey now, hey now
Hey now, hey now...
(slow klezmer music)
(singing in Yiddish)
(singing in Yiddish continues)
(guitar plucking outro)
(soft klezmer music)
(cattle braying)
VOICE:
I, Mordecai.
Everyone has their story.
I was born
July 27th, 1933,
in Janw Podlaski, Poland.
My father tells me
it was a very hot day.
(muttering in Yiddish, sighing)
- (groaning)
- Yohanan!
(exclaiming in Yiddish)
(screaming)
(people clamoring)
Mordecai!
(continuing in Yiddish)
(whispering softly)
(speaking Yiddish)
(continuing in Yiddish)
Jakub! Jakub!
(clamoring)
Ssh!
(baby cooing)
(crying)
(clapping and clamoring)
(gasping, murmuring)
(crying)
(music resumes)
(elevator dings)
Oh, boy.
(phone ringing)
What now?
(voice breaking)
- What?
- MARVIN: Hey, Dad.
- Yeah, hello-- Marvin?
- Yeah.
What? I can't hear
what you're saying.
I can't take it anymore.
I'm picking you up.
We're getting you
a new phone.
(broken) No, don't come.
I'm busy now.
I'm on my way, Dad.
Look, Ryan, the cigars need
more time to age.
RYAN: Marvin,
you're running out of cash.
You can't hold out forever.
Okay, I gotta go,
I'll see you later.
- (sighing)
- (elevator dinging)
Mrs. Gomez!
Mrs. Gomez! Qu paso?
"Qu pas?"
Qu t piensas?
It's your crazy father again.
(coughing)
Mom! What's going on?
- Go ask him.
- Dad! (coughing)
(groaning)
What the fuck?!
Dad! Dad!
What for you sneak up
on me like that?
What the hell are you doing?
Your mother,
she can't step into
the tub to take shower,
so we make walk-in shower.
Yeah-- so you have
a jackhammer?!
Well, this place is
built like bunker, all cement.
What you want me to use,
hammer and chisel?
- Maybe a toothpick?
- No, I want you
- to call a plumber.
- I am a plumber!
You retired 15 years ago.
How are you and Mom
supposed to wash
while you build this thing?
Mrs. Gomez, nice lady,
we use her bathroom.
(sighing)
- (coughing)
- (mock "coughing")
(whirring)
My thoughts of you
Always thrill me,
through and through
And I know that I...
Always feel the way I do
My dream...
(whirring)
MARVIN:
Mom!
Always with a memory
- (music stops)
- Mom!
What is your yelling
at your mother?!
- I raised you!
- I know, but he's--
--and I almost died
giving birth to you.
You have huge head.
I know.
All I wanted to do
was come here,
take him to the mall,
and buy him a new phone.
That's it.
This is what I get.
Okay, I go with you.
Well, he's on a mission
in there right now,
I don't think he's gonna
really listen to you.
We'll see about that.
Mordecai,
we're going to the mall,
or no hanky-panky.
Okay, go get ready.
Okay, we get ready.
Okay, we get ready.
Yeah, but I could--
I could fix this.
I could put some more...
- Dad.
- ...electrical tape on it.
- That's what I'll do.
- Dad, face facts.
The phone is dead.
You should bury
the Jeep with that phone.
(laughter)
- "Ha-ha."
- How about that other Jeep?
That Nazi shit car
of yours, huh?
Going to rain, Mordecai.
What rain?
Where's the rain?
(thunder crashes)
Ugh!
Great-- Dad, I thought
you were gonna get a new window.
Who needs new window? Here.
Perhaps when the--
the big cigar deal
actually happens,
then I get the window,
- and maybe new car with it.
- All right, we're not
having this conversation
right now.
I ask for the...
report on the... loan.
There's water
on floor back here.
Talk about being big shot
in the cigar business, huh,
now here in the making,
and you say nothing.
- Please, please.
- Nothing, not even an update.
Fine, you want an update?
Next week, we get
a new batch of samples,
then we'll know.
- It's not plumbing.
- Water on the floor--
Look what happened
in all my life.
Huh? Look what I do for him,
after he's shown
no respect for me.
- My-- My own son!
- "Respect."
- Where's my update?
- Enough with the two of you.
Car floor is full of water.
Marvin, pull the plug.
- I'm drowning back here.
- Oh, my God.
Brighten up,
this is light here, we go now.
I get my war reparations
check from Germany,
I go buy brassiere.
How come you get
reparations check,
and I get shit?
Because I suffered
more than you,
that's mine.
How many times
I have to say it?
What is she talkin'...
(customer chatter)
Ahh.
- What do you think?
- No-no-no, this is not--
- Pretty cool, right?
- Not for me.
It's all right, come on,
you're gonna be all right.
- We got the phone right here.
- Marvin, Marvin--
I don't know
how to use iPhone.
- I got landline.
- If you don't like it,
you wanna give it back,
we'll get another one.
- No--
- Yeah, but I want you
- to look at this, look.
- No.
Come on.
All right.
I'm gonna go get some help.
Don't go anywhere.
I don't...
Marv...
WOMAN: That's going to allow us
to add some depth to our image,
like this... see?
(customer chatter increases)
(phone chimes and chatter)
(chimes and chatter intensify)
See, in a digital world,
we create our own reality.
And through technology,
we create anything we want to.
We can make it real,
make it come to life.
Just something that existed
in our minds today
is now being shared
with the world, instantly.
And here is
a perfect opportunity
for me to show you exactly
what I was talking about.
- (thunder "crashing")
- Oh!
- Oh, my!
- (laughter)
- (laughing)
- That is all I have
for all of you today.
Thank you so much for coming,
and I hope to see you
next time.
Hey, there.
Are you interested
in a course in digital art?
Digital art?
Thought this was phone store.
- (laughing)
- Yeah...
I don't even know
what I'm doing here.
Sorry.
- Wanna know a secret?
- Yeah.
- Sometimes I don't either.
- Yeah. (chuckling)
- I'm Nina, by the way.
- Nina.
My son, he wants me
to use an iPhone.
But I happy with my old
flippy phone for calling.
It's been with me
through all my plumbing years.
Are you having trouble
hearing who you're
talking to on that thing?
I have trouble
hearing, period.
Dad, there you are,
don't wander off, please.
Come here, I want you
to meet somebody.
This is Jared,
he's an iPhone specialist.
Pleased to make
your acquaintance, sir.
What's up, Nina?
Oh, hi, uh,
are you already together?
Oh, not in a retail
sort of sense.
I actually have another class
I have to get to anyway, so--
but good luck
with your phone.
Mr. Samel, I present to you
the state-of-the-art
of the state-of-the-art,
the new iPhone.
- (chuckling)
- So what cost this phone
- with no buttons?
- Dad, you see
these kids in the blue shirts--
you know what they call them?
- What?
- Prodigies.
- Because they're so smart.
- Oh, boy.
Him? He don't look
like Einstein to me.
- Dad, don't be rude, please.
- Rude? Why don't you show
some respect yourself, huh?
I don't want to come here
in the first place.
I get the fuck out of here.
(groaning)
(buzzer)
Your card, Mr. Samel.
No bueno.
Should've gone
straight home. Here.
(bird cawing)
Netta? Hon?
Hi, I think she has
a "welcome home" present
for you in there.
Let me take a quick sniff.
Oh, boy. How was it
with your family?
Don't even ask.
I get to the apartment,
and there is smoke
billowing out of the door.
- Smoke?
- Right, sorry, not smoke,
it was plaster dust,
to be more specific.
And a lot of it.
Everywhere.
And that's just
the beginning of it.
Then he's dragging me there...
(grunting, muttering)
And then he's like this--
(sputtering)
(as Mordecai)
"Hello? Hello? How are ya?"
(sputtering)
"Hello?
Can ya get me up there."
Look at your dad.
Look at your dad.
He screams at me
inside of the store
and storms out.
But you still love him.
I'm just concerned
that he's gonna continue
to get himself into trouble.
You should just
move them in here.
What part of
"jackhammering the bathtub"
- didn't you understand?
- You don't know.
He might do a really good job
on the bathroom.
You know what?
If he wants to be included
in your big deal,
include him.
I'm getting the hang of this.
(babbling)
You are a horrible father.
- (babbling)
- It runs in the family.
I'll do it right,
I'll get it right.
(upbeat playing)
Here you go, Mr. Schwartz.
- (applause)
- Well, that's it for now.
See you next month
at the Survivors' Meeting,
where we will celebrate
Ida Brown's 100th birthday.
From Auschwitz to Aventura.
Happy Birthday, Ida.
(applause)
This party is going
to be so amazing.
How does it feel
to be almost 100
with everything
that you've been through?
Ah, I was
just about your age
when I went into the camps.
But I chose
not to let that
define how I live my life.
If I did, it would dishonor
my parents and my sister.
Survivors have
to tell our stories
to young people like you,
so it never happens again.
MAN ON P.A.:
Good morning, Point East!
The bus for
the bingo tournament is leaving
in 15 minutes.
--even talking about?
Why, hello,
Mr. and Mrs. Samel.
Mr. Samel,
I was hoping to see you.
I want you to enter
the bocce ball tournament
at our annual community
festival next month.
Thank you, Mrs. Campbell,
but I no play bocce ball.
Oh, but Mordecai,
it's going to be so much fun.
You know, I was quite
an athlete when I was younger.
Oh, I can tell.
So strong.
Did you ever play
anything professionally?
Enough of this nonsense,
I only going to tell this once.
You stay away from my man.
You buried
two husbands already.
You're not stealing this one.
Mordecai, we go.
I think that
bocce's not for me.
Now listen to me,
you don't talk
to that crazy shiksa.
She was schtupping
Mr. Longstein.
He tried from heart attack
on the spot.
What are you--
meshuggeneh?
We married 50 years.
Every lady in the street,
you think I'm schtupping them?
I'm going to tell you
something now.
My brothers and sisters,
they warned me
about you.
No-no-no, they warned you
about the guy before me.
The one with the mustache.
What's wrong with you?
Nothing, I hungry,
- let's go eat.
- Me too.
(snoring)
(snoring)
(snoring)
Oh-- what you doing
with that thing?
It's an iPhone.
From Marvin.
Oh, Mordecai,
I don't want that in this house.
You see how people
stare at that thing.
That brainwashing device,
like Stalin.
There's no buttons.
I don't--
I don't understand,
there's no buttons.
I don't care,
I want you
call Marvin
in the morning
and tell him...
take that thing back.
I said I take this thing back.
When I say "never,"
I mean "never."
Einstein, Mr. Einstein.
- This-- This a return.
- What?
Dad, this is a person.
- Really? A return?
- No, no.
We're here to get
my father a few lessons.
- Sign him up.
- No-- no! No lessons.
- A few lessons.
- I take no lessons.
I teach myself painting.
I teach myself plumbing.
No lessons.
Mr. Samel,
Nina's starting
a group lesson over there
in about ten minutes,
if you wanna check it out.
No, no group lesson.
I get the fuck out of here.
(groaning)
Oh, Nina.
I just thought,
maybe instead of doing
group lessons
for your phone, that...
maybe you'll wanna do
private lessons instead.
Lessons no good, no.
Well, what about with me?
Just... I'll teach you.
- One on one.
- You?
My manager might not be
okay with it, though,
so... can you keep a secret?
In Yiddish, secret,
that's my middle name.
- Hah.
- Okay then.
All right, all right,
I show up...
for the lesson.
I forgot to mention to you,
there is a fee.
A fee? What fee?
Pretzel dog.
With hot mustard.
Ah.
With mustard.
- And hit Save.
- So this is...
these are buttons,
but they're really not buttons,
but they're buttons anyway?
Yeah, that's
pretty much the idea...
...or call
I caught a bus...
To St. Louis
I got off
In Tennessee
Roamed around...
Oh, my God.
(gasping)
- I caught a...
- Choo-choo
Right up to D.C.
Call my buddy in Chicago
He said that she...
wasn't there
Took off my shoes...
Hello? Marvin?
Hey, Dad.
I'm watching the babies.
Yeah?
Yeah, this is
first iPhone call.
I'm having first lesson
- with Einstein Nina.
- Oh, yeah?
Oh, but Marvin, please,
don't tell your mother.
Searchin' for my baby...
(panting)
May I say you...
you have value
far more than pretzels.
Thank you, Mr. Samel.
I'm Mordecai.
- Mordecai.
- Yeah.
WOMAN ON P.A.:
Mr. Mordecai Samel.
Paging Mr. Mordecai Samel.
- Isn't that you?
- Yeah.
MARVIN:
So, it wasn't a heart attack.
Here's the thing, Dad.
The doctor...
thinks that
she has a form of dementia.
You know what that is?
It means that her mind...
isn't working like it used to.
Yeah, so, whose is?
Dad...
it means that
some days she'll be fine.
And others, she won't.
There's a name for it.
- You can read about it.
- Look.
Ali-Holmes fight.
We watched that
when you were little boy.
COMMENTATOR:
...in Las Vegas, Nevada.
That's the end
of round number seven.
Eh, shame.
Ali...
he's too old to fight.
He used to be so strong.
Now, look.
...and to see a man
that's just kind of
trying to...
looks to me, hang on
and keep the thing going
- for one more time.
- Dad.
Mom can't really be alone,
- you understand?
- Yeah.
You okay?
I'll be back.
(TV continues in background)
(sighing)
Huh.
Days like this,
I miss Siberia.
- (audience shouting)
- Ali's taking some fisticuffs.
(thunder crashing)
When your mind is a mess
So is mine,
I can't sleep
'Cause it hurts
when I think
My thoughts aren't
at peace
With the plans
that we make
Chances we take
They're not yours,
they're not mine
There's ways
that can break
All the words that
we said
And the words that we mean
Words can fall short
Can't see the unseen
'Cause the world is away
Somebody say now
Please close your eyes
Won't you please get
some sleep?
And know that
if I knew all of the answers
I would not
hold them from you
No, all of the things
that I know
We told each other
There is no other way
Mm-mm...
Too much silence can
be misleading
(phone chime)
Hear it in the way
that you're breathing
We don't really need
to find reason
Goes out the same door
that it came
Well, it's leaving,
it's leaving
(door closes)
How's your mom?
She's fine,
nothing to worry about.
Well, thank God.
You have to be shaken up,
are you all right?
Yeah, I'm fine.
What's all this?
Yeah, don't worry about it,
we can talk about it
another time.
Well, no, I can see
that you're stressed out.
Just tell me, what is it?
Well, it...
is what it looks like, Marvin.
It's bills,
and this-- this?--
is a credit card
I didn't even know we had
- that's completely maxed out.
- Well, I had to have cash
to keep the factory open, okay?
It's 0% for 18 months,
we're gonna be fine.
No-- we didn't pay
our mortgage last month, Marvin.
We have two baby girls,
I don't sleep.
Look, this is a cash flow
problem, that's all.
Every business goes
through this.
No, every business doesn't
borrow a lot of money
from your father.
You have to keep him
up to speed.
Why can't you talk to him?
(whispering)
Because he'll jinx it!
What?
He'll jinx the deal.
- Jinx, like bad luck?
- Yes!
When I was
about 16 years old,
we were all in the basement,
playing poker.
- (hip hop playing)
- Marvin, action on you.
MARVIN:
So I look at my hand.
And I've got pocket jacks
and another jack on the board,
which gives me
three of a kind.
Now, this is
the kind of hand
that I'm all set to win,
right out of the gate.
- And who walks in?
- I raise.
- My father.
- MORDECAI: Marvin!
- I call.
- I'm in a hand, Pop!
Right then,
I should've known better.
But what?
Another jack.
Four of a kind,
I can't lose.
- I call.
- I call.
Now, he might have a flush,
but if he does,
he's toast.
Four of a kind is
still the better hand.
- And I know it.
- I raise.
Ooh, Marvin,
that's a lot of money.
- And the trap is set.
- I'm all in.
And his money is now
gonna be mine.
I call.
It's in the bank, right?
Not even my dad could ruin this.
- Show me the money, right?
- Quad jacks.
- There ya go.
- Wouldn't you know it?
What?!
He pulled a double
inside straight flush
- against four jacks!
- How do you lose that?!
But that doesn't happen!
It's mathematically
impossible in poker.
It's never happened
in the history of poker, ever.
You know the difference
between me and my son?
I a plumber.
I turn shit into money.
- You turn money into shit.
- (laughter)
That's just one example
of many, many,
of my dad, the jinx.
(thunder crashing)
Honey, Marvin,
this is childish.
Your father has helped you
in every way.
Please...
talk to him,
and no more credit cards.
We have babies to feed.
(thunder crashing)
(cartoon music, sound effects)
(Mordecai laughing)
What you laughing?
That, uh...
that cartoon is
too violent for me.
You know,
booming the wall.
- Boom, I don't like that--
- You want I should change?
Yeah, please.
But don't put on that news.
All right,
all right, no news.
No news is good news.
Yeah.
- (channels changing)
- (microwave dings)
(phone vibrating)
What? What "screensaver"?
I got new kind of popcorn.
You try some.
Yeah, that...
that's special popcorn.
What you think?
It's good.
You don't even eat it.
No, it looks good.
Hi, eh, hello, Mrs. Gomez.
What now, Mordecai?
I wonder if you could
keep an eye on Fela
for a little while.
Occasionally.
The doctor says
she can't be alone.
I do it... for Fela.
All right, thank--
thank you very much.
So, here's the picture
you told me to bring
for the screen.
- is this your family?
- Yeah.
It's in Poland.
Yeah, this is me
at six years.
These are my two aunts,
who always played with me.
And my two brothers,
Moshe and Avram.
Moshe, he died during the war,
and Avram still
live in Israel,
and my Uncle Marek,
with the fiddle.
He always play,
even during the worst of times.
This is my father.
Where is your mother?
Well, she was sick
inside the house,
and this was only day
that the photo person
was in the area.
You know, I can't remember
my mother's face.
- At all?
- No.
This the only picture
of my family.
We had to leave everything.
It was 1939.
It was the world war.
You heard of Hitler?
- Yeah.
- Yeah?
Nice guy, hm?
So, my village,
Janw Podlaski,
they-- they didn't know it,
but Hitler was making
this deal with Stalin--
That's the squinty guy
with the big mustache?
Another wonderful fella.
They decide to split Poland
like a watermelon, hm?
Now, my town was in the east,
on the Russian border.
Now, this was lucky because
Hitler invaded from the west.
And then unlucky, 'cause
Russia invaded from the east.
Right into my village.
This give us front row seats
to the beginning
of World War II.
- (projector whirring)
- (German shouting)
(martial music)
(engines rumbling)
MORDECAI:
I don't really remember
my childhood.
But this day, I never forget.
(German shouting)
I never saw a plane or a tank
before in my life.
- (soft chatter)
- (German shouting)
MORDECAI:
What is war to a young boy?
(tank rattling)
(shouting in Yiddish)
(distant German shouting)
(indistinct shouting)
It was all very exciting.
Now, we have known
the neighbor our whole lives.
So, no big deal
to get the ball back.
- But then...
- (growling)
- Papa!
- I did not understand
what was happening.
- (grunting)
- The mean neighbor
chases me
into my father's arms,
and yells,
"Get your Jew rat son
"the hell off my property!
"When the Nazis come,
I will feed you
to Hitler myself."
My father made up his mind
that we had to leave right now.
But where will we go?
The Russians are no better
about Jews being rounded up.
"I say, you're crazy,
we can't leave now!
"This home is the only one
our family has ever known,
for generations."
(worried chatter)
"We leave tonight.
We cross the River Bug
and reach Soviet territory."
"But how will you know
it will be better?"
"We don't know
it will be better.
"But we pray that it will.
"Eventually, we hope
we can make it to Palestine,
and maybe America."
So, my father always told
the story that,
if my ball never bounced
into the mean neighbor's yard,
we would never have left.
But your family did
leave, right?
Except the aunties
and uncles, yeah.
They were going to wait
until the young one was better,
and then follow, but, um...
we never saw them.
They were sent to Treblinka.
You know Treblinka?
- The Nazi death camp?
- I've...
I've heard of it.
Anyway, we found
the records of my aunts
when we made a trip to Poland.
But, um...
they never made it out.
But here I am, still.
(chuckling)
I miss plumbing
and painting, too bad.
I miss going out on the town
and music
from the old days.
And my tuchus has shrunk
too skinny for my pants,
but too bad!
But I am alive!
Yeah.
MAN ON P.A.:
Good afternoon, Point East!
This is your last chance
for pool jazz-ercise!
Honey, she makes me crazy.
- (chuckling)
- She just asked
if we'd register the girls
for kindergarten.
- You gotta be kidding me.
- Nah, that's what I said.
I was like, please, can we just
enjoy our babies as babies
before we start buying
prom dresses?
What is that?
Looks like a big giant hole
in the ground.
- With my father in it.
- Yup.
(Mordecai straining)
What do you think
he's doing?
Well, Marvin,
I think he is
just being your dad.
(Mordecai straining)
Why don't you go
check on him?
The girls and I will
go see Fela.
- I wanna go with you.
- No! Talk to him.
Be patient.
Don't yell.
Be an adult, and...
have fun.
(Mordecai straining)
Hey.
What you doing?
Digging for worms
for a fishing expedition.
What do you think I'm doing?
Those motherfucks,
they wanted to hire
a plumbing company.
Told them I'll do it better
and for half the price.
I'm a plumber.
- You need any help?
- Ergh, yeah.
Give me the pipe wrench there.
No-no-no,
not the crescent wrench,
the pipe wrench,
there, there.
Ahh, you don't know the tools.
(Mordecai straining)
Oy... all right.
All right,
now give me the...
Channellock.
I don't know
what a Channellock is.
You don't know? Here.
That one there.
That's a Channellock, see, huh?
You don't know nothing.
Well, how would I?
The only time you let me
come on a plumbing trip
with you,
you fired me
after ten minutes.
Because you were incompetent.
I was seven!
Heh, I was
in Siberian orphanage
when I was seven years old, huh?
Hard life for you, huh?
I know how much
you've done for me, Dad,
but you know what?
You're a little rough
- on me sometimes.
- Ah, you don't know from rough.
Give me the endcap there.
What's an endcap?
Endcap, endcap, yeah,
see this? Yeah.
I raised a schlemiel.
You know, Dad, I didn't
come here to fight with you.
I actually thought
I'd update you
on the cigar deal.
Something good maybe?
Well... not yet, I mean,
the cigars are rolled,
but the tobacco
hasn't cured yet.
We have to wait a little longer.
- How much longer?
- We don't know.
We don't know,
but we know that
we're onto something
really special here.
The only problem is
that the buyer doesn't
wanna take our business
until the cigars are
- on the shelves.
- Yeah, well, I don't blame him.
So, you're so close.
Put your cigars
on the shelf,
who's gonna
know the difference?
Everyone knows the difference.
It's the taste.
Everyone knows the taste.
- Smoke tastes like smoke.
- Oh, my God.
You wait for
special smoke, huh?
While you wait for
different-tasting smoke,
bills go unpaid.
This is asinine.
I mortgaged
my condo for you.
I know you did, Dad,
and I thank you.
I have been paying
the interest.
Ay, what about I don't wait
for that different smoke?
- That's not gonna happen.
- Ah, but... what if?
Huh? Can you pay
the workers?
Can you keep
the lights on?
- Can you stay in business?
- (sighing)
Ugh! You see?
You ask my opinion,
I'd've given instruction.
But no, what,
the whole thing's in the toilet?
This is a fucking crazy way
of doing business.
You know that?
Look at what you did,
you nudnik!
(distant gulls cawing)
I wish to talk to you
about our son.
He don't respect me.
What could I have done
wrong, huh?
If he only knew what I did
to make his childhood better?
No, it is so far from home.
Is too-large ocean
to cross going to America.
This is intercoastal waterway.
Manmade by dredging.
This is not Atlantic...
Fela?
It's your husband
speaking to you.
I was just...
yeah, well,
would be nice
to someday have shower.
I'm waiting
for the shower pan.
(soft music)
(phone vibrating)
(uptempo dance music)
(revving)
Whoo!
INSTRUCTOR:
Come on, everybody!
Together!
And left and down!
And right
and down!
Together! And down.
All right--
keep going!
Iris, you look great
out there!
Come on, everyone,
keep that energy up!
You all are doing
so amazing out there.
Tuesday, there are
free samples at the grocery.
- So we go there now.
- Mordecai, I think
it's time we changed up
your routine.
- What do you mean, you know?
- Take out your phone taxi app.
My phone--
I-I-I don't know...
It's time you lived a little.
Oh...
(uptempo music)
(beeping)
Can you feel it now?
Oh...
You really turned me
upside-down
Let me hear you say
Never too late to be
who you wanna be
- Aah!
- (laughing)
(laughing)
Full of new
possibility...
What do you think
about these shirts, Mordecai?
Ah, a shirt's a shirt.
I'm 80 years old.
Nobody cares
what clothes I wear.
Oh...
Feel the rhythm
of this town
Can you feel it now?
Oh...
You really turn me
upside-down
Let me hear you say
Never too late to be
who you wanna be
MORDECAI: So, after almost
my whole life as an orphan,
I turned 19, I went
searching for my family,
and I find them.
My father, he comes to me,
and he says,
"Meet your new mommy,
"meet your new sister.
We're going to Israel."
I say,
"What is Israel?"
He said, "This is
the Jewish homeland.
"It's a beautiful country.
"Palm trees.
The Mediterranean Sea.
It's nice weather."
- Sounds like a nice change.
- Eh, that's what I thought.
But, when we arrive,
after six week travel,
they hand me a rifle,
they put me in the front lines
of the 1956
Arab-Israeli War.
I don't even know
who I'm fighting.
Oh, my God, Mordecai,
that's terrible.
- I'm so sorry that you--
- Oh, no-no-no-no...
no, I'm not complaining.
No, no, look at
where we are now, huh?
It's a beautiful city.
Beautiful art, huh?
So... why you never talk
about yourself?
Huh?
I wish I could do
work like this.
But my paintings don't exist
in the real world.
They're all digital.
In the cloud.
I am painter.
Mordecai, you never told me
you were an artist.
Nah, well,
it's easier than iPhone.
(laughing)
(distant horns honking)
JARED:
Mr. Samel.
Oh, hi, Jerry.
It's Jared, Mr. Samel.
- Uh-huh.
- Hey, you know
Ray's Original?
Right across
from Pretzelmaker?
Right across from Taffy Swirl?
Have you ever stood
in the exact spot
where all three smells collide?
I stopped smelling
in my 70s.
It was--
It was a joke, Mr. Samel.
Oh...
Check it out.
I'm doing a set
at the Tea & Poets.
- You might wanna come?
- You're standing up?
Yeah, for as long as
they let me.
So, where's Nina?
Nina-- she's
at her other gig.
Volunteering at
the Jewish Community Center.
I no know she work there.
- Why the JCC?
- I don't know.
Anyway, she said
you gotta get some tunes
back in your life.
Follow me.
Have you ever road-tested
a pair of Beats?
- What is that?
- Are you kidding?
You-- You've never--
holy shit, may I see
your phone, Mr. Samel?
It's-- I Mordecai.
Mordecai, I imagine
- you're a classical music man?
- Yeah.
But I--
I prefer klezmer.
This is old Jewish music,
mostly gone by now.
No such thing as gone
on the internet.
Listen, Mordecai.
Yeah.
(soft klezmer music)
Ooh...
(klezmer continues)
Ooh!
Oh, this is
like morning sunrise
over the fucking
wheat fields!
(klezmer continues)
- (alarm ringing)
- Mordecai?
You have to pay for that!
(klezmer continues)
(klezmer drowns out voice)
...bocce ball tournament?
How great is...
(klezmer drowns out Mordecai)
I can't hear you.
(phone vibrating)
What is this?
- (vibrating)
- Oh!
Hello, this Siri?
SIRI:
What can I help you with?
Oh, hello.
- You are Siri?
- Yes, I'm Siri.
Here to help.
Oh, Siri,
that's a nice name.
- How are you today?
- I'm fine, thank you.
Your friend Nina,
she tell me to call you.
Maybe you can take me
to this place.
1293 Bantam Avenue, Miami.
Getting directions
to 1293 Bantam Avenue, Miami.
May I say-- you have
a beautiful voice.
I keep this secret,
because my wife don't know.
She get jealous.
Mordecai, you made it.
Ah, I take phone taxi
all by myself.
So proud of you.
Come on in.
So... this is yours?
- Yes.
- Ahh.
You need painter?
I'm a painter.
Well, then let's get started.
- This way.
- Yeah.
(slow klezmer music)
(laughing)
(music continues)
(music continues)
(music fades)
Oh, my God, Mordecai,
this is beautiful.
- What do you think?
- I love it.
- Yeah?
- I mean,
you told me you painted,
but I didn't know you painted
- like this--
- Oh, I paint houses.
- You're an artist.
- Yeah-- no, oh,
no, I-- well,
I used to make paintings,
but this is
a first mural.
- So, I teach you...
- I teach you.
- That's a deal.
- That's a deal.
(rustling)
(thud)
(soft music)
Netta?
Hey.
Pedro delivered these
this morning.
Well, guess there's
no time like the present.
NETTA:
Here we go.
Smells good.
What do you think?
(exhaling)
Marvin, honey,
what do you think?
(sighing)
It's not ready.
And your dad's here.
- Ah, Netta.
- Dad, what're you doing here?
Well, I wish to go to this--
what you call it--
stand-up comic event tonight.
- What?
- So, uh...
Mrs. Gomez, she has a date
with this weaselly man,
so I got the problem
with your mother.
- What's the problem?
- Well...
can she come here
this evening for a while?
And maybe she help
with the children.
Dad, I prefer to be here
when Mom's here, okay?
And besides,
tonight is my big cigar event.
Your event... you mean,
when you make big speeches
about cigars
and give 'em out
for nothing like an imbecile,
and then everybody drinks
brandy, which you also pay for?
Yeah, that's about
exactly right.
Except that it's bourbon.
I'll tell you what.
I'll make you a deal:
you don't talk
about the cigar business
for 24 hours,
- and I'll make it happen.
- You got it.
I go get her.
But can you get her here
by, like, 6:00?
Mordecai... ha-ha.
How long I supposed to be
waiting in that phone taxi?
All right--
there she is, I go.
Marvin, no!
I have my monthly
Mommy and Me
dinner tonight.
Hi!
(laughing)
That's my girl.
- Hi!
- More beautiful than always.
You too!
Where are those babies now?
MARVIN:
Sleeping.
I-I go find them,
I go inside.
EMCEE:
And now, next comic,
welcome Jared Barrett.
(applause)
Yeah!
Hi, uh...
there's a lot of people here.
All these people for you.
Yeah, that's good.
Shit!
What is? What?
You see the man over there
with the suit jacket on?
See, the bigger guy?
That's Fernando Vasquez.
He's a potential buyer
for my company.
I did not know
he was coming tonight.
Yeah? It's good for you
I say hello.
No, Ma,
he's a potential buyer!
Yeah, a sales opportunity.
I say hello.
Marvin, what's up, bro?
- Hey.
- How you doin', guy?
- How you doin', man?
- Yeah, good to see you.
- Ton of people here to see ya.
- Thank you so much.
Hi, how are you, hello.
Hi, thank you so much
for coming.
Thank you...
(sighing)
MAN:
Marvin, you see
who your mother is
walking up to?
That guy Fernando,
he may look like a schlub,
but he is a fucking killer.
Hello, I am
Marvin Samel's mother.
- Oh.
- Oy.
2nd EMCEE: I wanna
thank everyone for coming out
to Empire Social tonight.
It's an important night,
and I wanna introduce
my friend and yours,
from Fumore Cigar Company,
Mr. Marvin Samel.
(applause)
Thank you very much, Ryan,
thank you for putting
this night together.
I really appreciate it.
...on NPR, they're saying
that the digital age
is making the human
attention span shorter.
Hey! I hear this joint has
great craft beers.
(silence)
So, I don't know
what they're talkin' about.
Okay, tough crowd, uh...
- PATRON: You suck!
- Oh, what else to say...
MARVIN: All right,
the third cigar
we're gonna smoke tonight,
the wrapper is
a medium dark broadleaf
grown in Ecuador.
I'm sorry, no, it's--
it's a San Andreas negra
grown in Nicaragua.
- That what he meant to say.
- Okay.
WOMAN:
He's struggling.
(clearing throat)
So, uh... God,
- uh...
- Marvin.
So everyone has enjoyed
your cigars for many years,
and you know, we wanna know
how you got into the business.
I mean, you brought your mom
with you tonight,
and I think it's great--
is this a family business?
Is that you started in cigars?
Are you kidding me?
My father was a plumber.
And also house painter,
painted houses.
Yes, and a painter.
Sometimes both at once.
I heard that guy
talking about how he...
hates his mother?
- (murmurs)
- Uh...
- Oy vey.
- WOMAN: You suck!
I go help Jerry.
What?
- Don't worry.
- No-- Mordecai!
- I hear--
- Jerry!
Yeah?
Hey, Jerry,
what are you doing?
Uh, dying.
Oh.
Why don't you talk
about something that you know?
Do you have a funny story?
Um, my mom's printer
jammed last night.
Well, I show you.
Hello? I Mordecai.
I tell you story.
You might like.
I was once a plumber
in Canarsie, Brooklyn.
So I'm finishing installation
of the sink for Mrs. Green.
- She says to me--
- Beautiful job, Mordecai.
Tell me,
you know where I can find
a good house painter?
I wanna paint the whole house,
the whole thing.
Ooh.
I say, Mrs. Green,
I paint it too.
I will paint all four
of your apartments,
Including the basement.
I'll give you a good price.
She says to me,
"But, Mordecai,
you are plumber.
You are not a painter."
So I think for, mm...
all right, if you don't
want to use me,
perhaps you should call
my brother Martin,
who is a very good painter.
The best painter
in all of Canarsie, Brooklyn.
(soft laughter)
You have a brother?
Of course.
All my life.
- (laughter)
- So she says, "All right,
"give me the number
of your brother Martin,
I will call him."
So, I run back home--
So my father comes home,
he says, "If Mrs. Green...
"calls your line,
looking for Martin the Painter,
- you give to me the phone."
- (laughter)
I'm looking at him,
like, Martin the Painter,
I don't understand.
He says, "Don't ask
- no fucking questions!"
- Don't ask-- Don't ask!
"Mrs. Green calls?
To me you give the phone."
- Mm.
- Of course, so now,
it's ringing,
and he's chasing after me,
"Pick up,
pick up your phone!"
So, I'm terrified,
I'm panicked,
I answer the phone, "Hello?"
- (laughter)
- So, I look at my father.
I'm like, "Really, Dad,
Martin the Painter?"
He smacks me before
he takes the phone.
He says, "Yes, yes,
Mordecai is my brother."
Yes, I can come over
and give estimate.
And then he looks at me,
and he winks,
and he says,
"Oh, directions?
No, it's all right,
Mordecai's here, I ask him."
(laughter)
- So...
- I get out...
of my green
plumbing uniform,
and I put on the white pants
and the white shirt,
and I steal my son's hat
and run back
to Mrs. Green.
I come in the door, I say,
hello, Mrs. Green,
I am Martin the Painter.
My God, you look
just like your brother.
I say, of course,
we are twins.
(laughter)
MARVIN:
This is all a true story.
- Ma, am I right?
- Please, now,
- don't even remind me.
- (laughter)
MARVIN:
So, the next week--
Martin, Martin, quick!
Call your brother Mordecai!
There's a flood in the basement!
Don't worry, I'll take care
of it right away!
No, no, Martin,
you are the painter!
I need Mordecai the Plumber!
- I was-- I'll go get him.
- Oy.
MARVIN: In comes my father,
still got the white
painters' pants on,
goes to big plumber's pants,
and bang,
he's out the door again.
And she says,
"But where is Martin?
He not finished yet!"
No, that's all right.
He'll be back tomorrow.
Meanwhile, I'll fix
your flood today, huh?
(laughter)
(laughing) And that's
how he made a living.
For 20 years.
So I was plumber, painter,
Mordecai,
Martin Samel.
Two phone lines,
two business cards, two names.
And no one in Canarsie
ever knew the difference
for 20 years.
And until this moment,
right now,
no one until this day
ever found out.
(cheering and applause)
I like this.
- I send Maria...
- Uh-huh?
my recipe for couscous...
- Oh, that's wonderful.
- But that's secret.
Okay, no-no, she's gonna do
a great job with that.
And let me tell you,
Fernando, you no worry
about these other cigar guys
wishing to buy
Marvin's company.
First of all,
that only rumor.
- Oh.
- And I going to tell Marvin
you're mensch, okay?
Thank you, Fela.
- Don't worry.
- Good to see you.
I will not worry.
I've had a delightful time
- with your mother all night.
- We talking so much.
I'm thinking that maybe...
let's close this deal
and buy your company.
Marvin, this is smart man.
Whoa, great,
yeah, absolutely.
I'll have my attorney
set up the meeting.
- Okay, great.
- Huh?
- You see how smart?
- Fela, you are a gem.
Oh, you too.
- Okay, love to Maria, right?
- Take care.
And I'll be
seeing you very soon.
- Yes, Fernando, thank you.
- All right.
What did you say to him?
Him our friend now, you know?
Sometimes Yiddish
help out better
than fancy degree
from college.
I guess so.
I guess so.
I tired now.
We go home now.
- Okay, come on.
- We go home now.
Anybody else
you wanna talk to?
- No, done.
- Okay.
Fela?
Fela?
Fela?
(phone ringing)
- Hey, Dad.
- Hey, Marvin?
Is your mother there?
Is she still with you?
FELA:
It's me, Mordecai.
MARVIN:
It was amazing.
Mom got us the deal!
- What?
- The cigar deal!
It's a lock. They're not waiting
until the cigars are ready.
They want the company now.
Well, congratulations!
Why don't you come here,
and you'll celebrate?
Listen, it's late.
I thought it would be nice
for Mom to spend the night
and see the girls
in the morning.
But we not spend
the night apart, never.
- Okay, love you, Dad.
- (dial tone)
(scoffs)
(scoffs)
(thunder rumbling)
(German shouting)
(soldier boots marching)
(airplanes rumbling)
NEIGHBOR:
"When the Nazis come,
I will feed you
to Hitler myself."
(gunfire)
Ugh.
(somber fiddling)
(soft chatter)
(rumbling)
(German shouting on megaphone)
(shouting continues)
(echoing voices, rumbling)
(chants of "Sieg Heil")
(screaming)
(shouting names in Yiddish)
(shouting continues)
(muffled shouting)
(train whistle blowing)
(overlapping shouts)
(shouting continues)
(gasping)
Mama?
Mama!
(sobbing)
Mama!
(sighing)
Fela.
You just came back just now?
Yeah.
- Oh.
- Mordecai,
what's going on with you?
Ah, it's...
old memories,
I... think too much.
Mm. Fela...
sit down.
Sit here.
I...
Fela...
I have a confession.
(gasping)
I kept iPhone
against your wishes.
Also, I...
I take lessons.
For learning.
That's where I go
when I'm on my own.
(sighing)
Look, I feel...
like I'm becoming old man.
This, I'm not ready for this.
I not ready to be old man.
Yeah, but, Mordecai...
you are old man.
Huh?
That why you spending
all that time
with the dark-haired lady?
Oh, yeah, I...
I saw those lessons.
Second floor, by pretzels.
But only lessons.
Yes, only, yes.
Yeah!
Oh, yeah,
yeah-yeah-yeah...
it's only lessons.
That's all.
- Yeah, good.
- Uh-huh.
Because you know
something, Mordecai,
I love you.
I love you too.
Thank you.
(chuckling)
No-no, it's nice
you take me to big deal.
- But I no understand--
- Because it's a done deal.
Netta was right, I couldn't've
gotten here without you.
- That right?
- Dad, what I'm trying
to tell you,
is that I trust you.
Yeah, but I--
I no understand.
The buyer was waiting
for the new cigar,
but now they don't have to?
(chuckling)
Well, I don't know
what to tell ya.
Maybe they changed their mind,
I mean, that happens.
Oh, this is
too good to be true.
This is a crazy business.
You watch out.
Dad, maybe this trust thing
goes both ways.
- Eh.
- Whoa, where are you going?
I'm going
to the meeting with you.
- I pick up my check.
- No, I need to do
this part on my own,
you wait here.
After it's over,
we'll go to a nice,
- celebratory lunch, okay?
- I thought you trust me.
I trust you,
just not that much.
Hm.
All right, all right,
I go take a piss.
Oy, never turn 80.
Huh? Piss three times
during "Jeopardy."
You work
in the fancy office, hm?
My son,
he owns a cigar company.
Fancy big-fish company's
going to buy.
Today, finally.
It was taking forever.
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.
We had to wait
for the tobacco to be okay.
- Oh.
- So we wait and wait
and wait
on the tobacco,
until we almost go broke.
We were hanging on
by the skin of our fingernails.
We could've gone kaput.
Huh.
They literally pulled
the deal off the table.
NETTA: What?!
Why? What did they say?
I don't know, something about
bringing us another offer.
What happened?
Netta, it's me, Mordecai.
Who knows?
Who knows what happened?
Huh? This cigar business is
a crazy way to make a living.
You. You happened.
You're a jinx.
It was a done deal,
and your mere presence
fucked the cosmic tumblers,
again!
- Marvin!
- Yeah, Marvin!
NINA: What's going on
with you today?
You seem... down.
Nah, nothing, eh...
I just feel like...
disappointment to my family.
My wife, she believes
I'm a liar.
My son, he imagines
I'm a jinx on his life.
Why is that?
Well, years ago,
he bring me to a head shrinker
to find out.
And the head shrinker...
he says since
I never had a childhood,
I don't want childhood
for my son.
I tell him to fuck off.
Of course you did.
Mm.
But he's right.
I probably hard
on Marvin, I know.
I just wanted him to have
better life than I had.
- That's all.
- Well, maybe
you can tap
into what it was missing.
Like, what is something
that you've always wanted to do,
since you were a kid,
but never got the chance to?
Ah.
You know...
I have inspiration now
to make more art.
I would also like to remember
the face of my mother.
Okay, then... you work
on being a kid again
so that you can remember
your mother's face
and become
a better father to your son.
You think that would work?
(as Mordecai)
I think that "vould vork."
- CASHIER: There you go, sir.
- Thank you very much.
FELA: ...and I don't know
what that mean.
- I wanted two...
- Oh, thanks.
So, uh, Dad...
what's with the ice cream?
Ice cream? Makes you feel
like a kid again.
- MORDECAI: Huh?
- What?
Ice cream,
it make you feel young.
- Ice cream make me feel young.
- Ya big--
married to a big baby
make me feel young.
(chuckling)
Martin?
(gasping)
I-I would recognize
that hat anywhere.
It's Mrs. Green,
from Canarsie!
Oh, yeah, Mrs. Green.
This other brother, Mordecai.
Oh, Mordecai,
it's so good to see you.
Oh, my goodness, oh, my--
and little Marvin,
you were just a little boy
the last time I saw you.
(chuckling)
So, tell me,
what are you doing here?
Well, we live here,
in Point East.
I live next door!
In Williams Island.
- What do you know?
- We're neighbors again.
- After all these years.
- Yeah, yeah.
Mordecai, tell me...
how's your brother Martin?
Martin? Oh.
Not so good.
He dead.
- (chokes)
- Oh!
Oh... my beautiful Martin.
Well, listen,
we-- we have to go,
because we have
an appointment,
very important.
We must go now, come on.
Yeah, we go-- sorry.
Goodbye, Mrs. Green.
Goodbye.
Why would you tell
that nice little old lady
that your twin imaginary
brother is dead?
- It's mean!
- I'm retired.
Why do I have to go on
living this lie?
Shut the fuck up,
eat your ice cream.
Good boy, come on.
(singing in Yiddish)
(Fela dampened by music)
- (music fades)
- What?
Yeah, I talking to you,
you no pay attention to me.
Oh, sorry-sorry-sorry.
I was, um, busy with, um...
Take a look.
- (chuckling)
- (gasping)
You make me look so young.
(singing in Yiddish)
(both singing in Yiddish)
Hm?
MORDECAI:
Heh, that's me.
I'm Mordecai.
I'm the exhibitionist, yeah.
Ho! Nina!
Jared, don't go away!
I'm exhibitionist!
I don't know,
I don't...
Super Mordecai.
You're looking all spry.
Yeah, it's a nice day--
here, take a look, huh?
I-- I exhibitionist.
- Exhibitionist.
- Yeah.
- I don't think that's--
- Sure, you are.
I'll remember
to avert my eyes.
Oh! I'm having a party,
you should come.
I don't remember the last time
I went to a party.
Well, we'll see.
I very busy, handing out flyers.
Hello in there!
I see you!
Here.
- Huh?
- Art?
There's a brand new style of art
called "geezer art."
You may be interested, huh?
Oh, don't throw away.
This may be worth
something someday, huh?
Eh?
(rock-infused klezmer)
Hello.
(music fades)
(birds tweeting)
Mama.
MORDECAI:
There's a party later today.
At Jerry Einstein's place.
You know who he is.
One of the Einsteins, yeah.
So I want you should
come with me.
- No.
- Yeah, yeah, come on.
- I do.
- Yeah, you know, Mordecai...
ah, no,
I-I very tired tonight.
Maybe another time, though.
All right, okay.
No, we'll watch
television together.
- You want grape?
- Thank you.
That one look good.
(soft voices on TV)
Okay, you know,
you-you go,
but you only stay
one hour, right?
This is okay for me, to go?
Yeah.
But only one hour.
I promise, one hour.
(dance music)
(soft chatter)
Mordecai?
MORDECAI:
When I was your age,
I drove barge
on the Dead Sea in Israel.
1957, 1970.
Elvis Presley comes and goes,
I'm driving the barge.
Vietnam War,
it comes and goes,
I'm still driving the barge.
They get the man
on the moon, yeah,
I'm still driving barge.
(soft laughter)
Only vacation I get
is in 1967,
and that was to fight
in the Six-Day War.
I don't even get
a whole week, hmm?
- (laughter)
- Only six days?
- I need a longer war.
- (laughter)
Mordecai, no talking,
just smoking.
- Oh...
- (laughter)
Last time I smoked,
it was hashish.
I was driving army truck
right across Egypt.
(laughter)
(murmurs, exclamations)
TV HOST:
It's a big drop
if you get this one wrong.
CONTESTANT:
I know, I'm just...
(soft moan)
(dance music)
(cheering)
(elevator dings)
COMMENTATOR: ...the home side
has something going now,
and the crowd is loving it.
It's the bottom
of the eighth inning,
and so far it's been
a very tight game.
GUARD:
Mrs. Samel, wait!
Stay there!
Wait!
(tires squealing)
It's interesting,
you are this young girl
who is interested
in the older generation.
You're very special girl, Nina.
Very special.
- (chuckling)
- I'm really not, so--
I say you are,
so you are.
You are the nicest girl
I ever met
in the entire world.
Listen...
there is something
I've been meaning to tell you
- for a while.
- Yeah?
Mm-hm?
(sighing)
So, what is this?
My grandfather.
You know...
I left my phone...
No, just...
my grandfather was
an SS officer.
He was a guard at Treblinka.
He died a couple months ago...
I came home
from school to...
help my mom and dad
with his house.
There was
a box in his basement.
A hidden locker.
And it had his documents
in it, a uniform.
Your parents,
they knew this?
My mom didn't.
And my dad, I mean,
he says he didn't know,
but it was his father.
How could he not?
And then I met you, and...
you told me
how your aunts didn't
survive Treblinka.
The Jewish Center.
Mm.
800,000 Jews
they took to Treblinka.
Only a few dozen got out.
You're young, see?
It's your curse.
I don't know how you could
understand anyway.
You can't.
No.
My dad found me.
He contacted me.
And...
he's coming here soon to...
reconnect.
I don't know what to do.
Ask your phone.
JARED:
Mordecai!
Mordecai!
Messages.
On your phone.
It's about your wife.
MARVIN: So, you've seen
a swelling in the brain...
(whispers)
She'll be fine.
Mr. Samel, she's resting.
Apparently
a car sideswiped her,
and she took a hard fall.
She's got a fractured arm,
and we'll check
for a concussion,
but I think she dodged
a bullet here.
Any idea why she was wandering
on Biscayne Boulevard
in a nightgown?
Because...
I wasn't there.
Dad... can I talk to you
for a second in the hallway?
Dad, what were you doing?
Where did you go?
You smell like a keg.
I was at the Einstein party.
The what?!
You know, the...
The-- The sales kid
Jared and Nina?
- Mm-hm.
- You've gotta be kidding me.
Dad, these are not
your friends.
Okay? I pay them
to teach you.
That's right, I pay Nina
to give you iPhone lessons,
okay, not to get you wasted
and have you out so Mom can
go wandering in the dark
and get hit by a car!
We're lucky
she wasn't killed.
(sighing)
Look, you're
an 80-year-old man.
Act like it.
I'll tell you something else.
The deal?
I'm gonna take the shitty deal
that they came back with.
Okay? So I can
pay you back
and not have to worry
about this shit anymore.
MORDECAI:
Oh, Fela...
what happened?
I told you
I'd be back soon.
Why didn't you stay home?
Why didn't I?
Fela... I need you.
Mama.
I feel so...
sorry.
Ooh... mm.
(whispering)
Oh, ay-yi-yi-yi...
Mm-hm.
(doorbell ringing)
(seagull cawing)
Marvin pay you to check on me?
How's your wife?
I tried calling.
Okay, he did pay me.
But only for the lessons.
Mordecai, please,
I trust you.
Okay, and--
and you're my friend.
The money didn't buy that.
I don't know
any other way to say it.
Look, you should go.
My dad's here.
I know that it's selfish,
and I know that
the timing is terrible, but...
I need you, Mordecai.
Mordecai.
Let her in.
Come in, come in.
Now, looking at you...
I stupid old woman.
I jealous of you.
And you--
you beautiful.
But you just child.
Well, and also no competition.
Rumors at the mall say
you're a force of nature.
Oh-oh.
- (laughing)
- Okay.
So, Nina,
I hear your grandfather
was bigshot Nazi.
(sighing)
I don't know what to say.
Give me your hand.
Must've been
so hard for you
to find out what he did.
And if your father
is telling you the truth,
must have been
very hard for him, too.
I never really thought
about it like that.
Oh, yeah, you know...
sometimes I thinking
it's good to put yourself
in other one's shoes.
You want coffee?
(door shuts)
She's awesome.
(chuckling)
Yeah.
Will you come with me?
(window slides open)
FELA:
Mordecai, go!
- (window slides closed)
- All right.
(klezmer music playing)
- I can't do this.
- No, no-no-no--
- Maybe we should go.
- No!
I work on being a kid
and a father to my son.
Now you work
on being a grownup
and a daughter
to your father.
Mm.
How's Mom?
She's, um...
she misses you.
Does she believe you?
Yes, after we talked.
All these people...
the people who were
affected most by our...
history?
(applause)
Ladies and gentlemen,
let's welcome to the stage
our guest of honor,
who is one century old today!
Ms. Ida Brown!
(applause)
First, I want to thank
everyone for coming.
I think that,
in a strange way...
the thing
that binds us together
is our shared suffering.
The pain of our past.
The pain
of our people's history.
Yes, the war was terrible.
Yes...
we lost friends...
family...
whole communities,
but for those of us
who are left,
the greatest condemnation
of Hitler...
is not just
to survive and grieve,
not just to remember,
but to bless this life
we were given.
And to dance.
- (applause)
- MAN: L'chaim!
That's my friend Mordecai
right there.
It's... feasible
that his aunts were
killed by Granddad.
MARVIN: I have been
traveling back and forth
to Estel for three years now
for this plant.
(music)
Now, you guys know
the time, the sweat,
the love that goes
into making a great cigar.
This time,
I think I've got it.
So, guys, friends, competitors,
what do you think?
Is this cigar a symphony?
MAN: Sorry, Marvin,
this cigar just isn't ready.
Take the deal now, buddy.
But here's the thing,
as cigar makers,
we don't really think
about "the endgame"
in terms of making money.
'Cause this is a passion.
(phone vibrating)
(soft chatter)
- (knocking on window)
- Marvin! It's your father!
Netta, please,
please, no-- please!
Hey, Mordecai?
- Hello, Marv-- Netta?
- Yeah.
- MAN: What's going on?
- (sighing)
My father's calling,
it's all right, so--
You know, in another
three, six months,
you'll have something here.
- (groaning)
- Okay, so what?
FERNANDO: Marvin,
uh, maybe you should start
with signing the orange tabs.
Yeah.
(distant voices)
Marvin?
Hey, psst.
(sighing)
Um... would you all
just excuse me
for just a moment, please?
What the hell are
you doing here?
No, wait-wait-wait.
All right.
Netta tells me
the deal you're making
is on Thursday.
- so I come in--
- Dad.
No-no-no-no,
this is what I have to say.
I go to the bank
this morning.
Who knew the condo was
worth so much?
I take out a second mortgage.
For a rainy day.
Or for the unsuspecting jinx
of the cigar investment.
Also, it's possible
I'm proud of you.
It is a possibility.
Hm?
(chuckling)
(distant chatter)
Hey, everybody, um...
I'd love to just take a second,
if you don't mind,
to introduce my father.
This is
Mordecai Samel.
Hey, are we gonna
get this done?
Actually,
I don't think we can.
How close are we to having
the best damn cigar of the year?
Oh, yeah-- very close.
Very close,
and once we have
the best damn cigar
of the year,
that's gonna cause
a lot of buzz, isn't it?
- Yeah, all that buzzing.
- Lot of buzzing.
I was under the impression
that you didn't have
the funds to wait it out.
Well, I think you were under
the wrong impression.
So, if you do wanna return
to the original deal structure,
we're gonna need to know
in the next 48 hours?
Yeah, no, 48 hours.
(phone ringing)
Mordecai, you got
so many calls on this thing.
You know, first crazy guy
from art gallery,
then Nina, then Jared,
who's coming here.
- What?
- Yeah.
(honking)
You're gonna be a no-show
to your own exhibition?
No, I no leave Fela
alone at night.
- She don't want me to come.
- Then why are we here?
Why'd she tell us to come?
Fela?
Come on, get changed.
- You sure?
- Yeah, I sure.
You don't-- You don't--
- Ah.
- You want...
("Life Is,"
The Sunday Drivers)
Life is like a wheel,
rolling over me
Rolling over life
Only we believe
what we want to see
Thinking it's all right
Life could be a steal,
if we make the deal
Watching our own...
I come.
Yes, welcome.
This is my first art viewing.
Yeah, well, don't be nervous,
it's mine too.
(laughter)
Maybe we could meet
for lunch someday, huh?
Yes, okay.
I view your art now.
But my art is over here.
I know!
All that went before
coming back for more
Swimming in sunshine
Life could be a steal
if we make a deal
Watching our own
illusions fly
We live...
Fela, where's Mrs. Gomez?
How you get here?
What, you take phone taxi?
I... took a Marvin taxi.
I took a Netta taxi.
Marvin.
I'm glad you came.
I'm glad I came too, Dad.
Come here.
Dad, thank you
for everything you did for us.
It meant a lot.
Listen, I--
I wish to know about the deal,
but, um, with respect,
you don't have to say.
Dad, you should know
about the deal.
I gave them
two days to respond.
They responded in two hours!
I didn't get to the parking lot!
- You mean they buy?
- "They buy"? They buy big.
- (laughing)
- They buy big!
Mr. Mordecai!
- You ready?
- Huh?
- You ready?
- Oh, Nina, Jared.
I've never been
more happy in my life.
Ladies and gentlemen,
can I have
your attention please?
To the man
who has taught me...
so much.
I am so proud to present
Mordecai Samel's
Art History.
And Einsteins--
if you will, please.
(patron murmurs)
- (applause)
- VOICE: Bravo.
VOICE:
Speech, Mordecai, speech!
You see?
We teach each other.
That's what friends do.
(chuckling)
Well...
now, the first thing
I would like to say is that
- I talk too much.
- (laughter)
Then I, you know...
I look around.
And I see...
- (laughter)
- ...it's nice to be young.
It's nice to be old.
It's nice to have phone
with no buttons.
(laughter)
Also, it's...
it's nice to have family.
It's nice to have friends.
(soft music)
(gasps, murmurs)
Mama.
L'chaim!
- ALL: L'chaim!
- (applause)
(cheering and applause)
VOICES:
Wonderful! Well done!
You see what I told you?
It always works out.
(laughter)
Fela? Fela?
Fela?
Fela? Fela?
It's me.
It's your husband.
Mordecai.
Where are you going?
I don't know.
Okay.
I'll go with you.
Come, I go with you.
- You-You...
- Yeah.
Come on.
Thank you.
("Don't Dream It's Over,"
Crowded House)
- Mordecai?
- Yeah?
Yeah, let's go home.
Me.
There is freedom within
There is
freedom without
Try to catch the deluge
in a paper cup
There's a battle ahead
Many battles are lost
But you'll never
see the end of the road
While you're
traveling with me
Hey now, hey now
Don't dream it's over
Hey now, hey now
When the world comes in
They come, they come
To build a wall between us
We know they won't win
Now I'm towing my car
There's a hole in the roof
My possessions are
causing me suspicion
But there's no proof
In the paper today
Tales of war and of waste
But you turn right over
to the T.V. page
Hey now, hey now
Don't dream it's over
Hey now, hey now
When the world comes in
They come, they come
To build a wall between us
We know they won't win
(instrumental)
(instrumental continues)
Now I'm walking again
to the beat of a drum
And I'm counting
the steps to the door
Of your heart
(speaking Yiddish)
(repeating Yiddish phrase)
- Oh.
- VOICE: Do it one more time.
(speaking Yiddish)
(repeating Yiddish phrase)
- MAN: That's good.
- That's good.
You know what?
When I was your age,
I grow up...
you know what I was wearing?
Diaper...
from a sack of potatoes!
I was sleeping
in a hole on straw.
I didn't have a house.
I was always hungry.
I didn't have a mommy.
- No?
- No.
I don't believe in dreams,
but this is
like a dream come true.
I have two grandkids
from my son,
I have five grandchildren
from my daughter.
And... work out
very good for me.
That's the story,
my friend.
(laughing)
- Don't let them win
- Hey now, hey now
Hey now, hey now...
(slow klezmer music)
(singing in Yiddish)
(singing in Yiddish continues)
(guitar plucking outro)