Inheritance (2024) Movie Script
1
What won't people do for money, huh?
INHERITANCE
It's incredible.
If you inherit one million zlotys
and someone from your family gets two,
you feel as if you lost a million.
But let's back up.
We went to the reading of my uncle's will.
We lost touch, but as far as I remember,
he was an unusual guy.
- Uncle was a spy. He knew Bill Gates...
- Jzka, stop!
...who was also a spy.
Do you know
where a secret agent's nose is?
Between his spies.
Uncle hosted
the first Polish TV game show.
- Yeah.
- A long time ago.
Then he went on to make inventions.
Like what?
They say he invented the PESEL number.
Universal Electronic System
for Registration of the Population?
He chipped people before it was trendy.
Let's play the license plate game.
The kids didn't want to go.
But Uncle demanded it.
"The entire family needs to attend."
No candy.
We met the family
earlier than we expected.
Natalia?
That's Natalia, my cousin.
Dawid.
Hi there!
Hi.
- Karol!
- What?
Put on some gloves.
Karolek?
You've grown so much!
No, I'm Karol.
Fortuna.
- That's a different Karol.
- Oh, hi.
- Hi.
- He doesn't like touching people.
- Post-Covid thing.
- Hi.
And this is Gustaw.
- Hi.
- My son.
Stop staring.
It always works.
- Gustaw, my boyfriend.
- Hello.
Oh! Hi.
- Karol.
- It also usually works. Karol, my fianc.
And this is Zosia, my wife.
Zosia.
Wave!
Long time no see, huh?
It's a terrible thing, right?
What thing?
Uncle dying.
- Yes. Tragedy.
- Ah! Yeah.
- Awful.
- Tough break.
About Mr. Wadysaw's house,
there's a sign saying,
"Attention! Land mines."
But it's not true.
Probably.
- Jesus! I'm sorry.
- Oh my.
No, it's nothing.
- Know how much this cost?
- It was an accident.
I forgot that accidental stains
wash out on their own.
Oh, sorry!
What kind of car
did Uncle drive when he came here?
An old one or...?
Usually, he cycled here.
He had an old-school Wigry-2 bicycle.
Unless it was Sunday,
then he'd bring out the Bentley.
Or the Ferrari.
Or the Jaguar.
Go!
A large inheritance
can turn a normal family into lunatics.
And an abnormal family?
You'll see.
- What have you done this time?
- Met my family.
All right, go.
Come on, drive!
All right. Not everything's a race.
Zosia and I
switched places at the station,
but it was a mutual decision.
Welcome. Since the entire family's here...
Uncle's butler.
A person who could leave the house
with no pants on.
But you can't stay mad at him
because it turns out
he went to buy your favorite ice cream.
I'll open the garage door.
Please park in the garage.
A heavy blizzard is coming.
So what happened to Uncle...
I'm sure you're all hungry after the trip.
Let's have some dinner.
We will read the last will
in the evening. Follow me.
Hurry.
Thank you.
How many years has it been
since we've all been together like this?
- Fifteen?
- Twent...
It was before I graduated from high sch...
Thirty years ago!
I'm not even that old.
Karol, Uncle's nephew.
A marketer at a mid-level company.
He sure can talk.
And this is his fianc. Also Karol.
He drives an Uber
or as he calls it, he is a psychologist.
Uncle's niece, Natalia.
A famous crime novel writer.
I've read them all,
but I think there's too much sex there.
Her boyfriend, Gustaw.
I know what you're thinking.
A huge difference.
He's almost 20 cm taller than Natalia.
I don't know what he does,
but not homework, as my wife jokes.
That's me, Dawid. I'm a teacher.
My wife says that I don't earn much,
but at least nobody cares about my work.
My wife, Zosia, is a tax clerk.
I sometimes say it's a character trait.
Behind her back.
My daughter, Jzefina, is 16,
but honestly,
I wish she was still four years old.
And my son, Henryk.
He's 13, and he has no idea
that he's about to be
the real hero of this story.
A yacht.
Excuse me?
I thought we'd all say what we'll buy
with the money from the inheritance.
I wonder how Uncle split it.
Equally, I'm sure.
It's never equal.
A bigger apartment
with a balcony.
We're leaving the country this year.
We wanted to go to Hamburg,
but now I don't know.
Maybe Portugal?
You're all invited
to our housewarming party.
The kids as well?
Are you asking
whether we're buying a kid as well?
No.
I meant whether the kids could...
I mean...
Are you in favor of gay adoption?
Are you asking
whether we want to adopt a gay person?
No.
I meant, just out of curiosity,
whether you take part in the discourse...
- To a new, happy life!
- Yes, let's drink to that.
- Money can't buy happiness.
- Easy to say when you have it.
But listen, we don't have it,
and we're happy.
- It's like...
- Eat.
I mean, you know, my point was that
there are more important things
in life than money.
Family, kids, right?
You can't be happy without kids?
No, you can!
I mean, of course
you cannot. But you...
And why can't we? Because of what?
You drink too much and can't get pregnant.
What are you talking about?
How much Uncle left you?
You believe Bezos is
the richest man in the world?
The rich quietly control everything.
- Jzefina.
- You're right.
Let's go to our room.
- We'll browse the latest offers on kids.
- Awesome.
He was weird even as a child.
And I'm not a homophobe.
I can't be since my husband
was gay.
- But who? Dawid?
- Yeah.
He should be on Wikipedia
under "bumbling."
Do you think he voted for...?
I wouldn't go that far. Who cares anyway?
Hey, it's crooked.
Come here.
What would you name your yacht?
Natalia should call hers "Gustaw."
Since she has to pay for both.
Maybe he really isn't with her
for the money.
May bees don't live long.
Gustaw won't hang around long either.
He's with her for her money.
Desperate Crimes and Measures.
You wanted an autograph.
Forget it.
How old is she?
With such a child.
We'll be hearing them at night.
Watch out!
- It's nothing.
- My shirts.
Oh, come on.
- And their daughter?
- She's crazy.
Schmazy. That's not what I meant.
Kids have it worse now.
You did a lot of cringe stuff as a kid.
But there were no phones to record it.
According to his theory,
the trails left by the planes
are actually chemical compounds
spread to control the population.
- What's that?
- Scram!
- What's more, he claims that chemtrails...
- Jeez!
- What?
- Nothing.
...make frogs gay.
- I need to work out.
- What if he gives it all to Dawid?
You heard the boy scout.
He'll split it equally.
- You're recording?
- No.
Sweetie, don't worry about it.
What if he gives it all to Dawid?
Then we'll get one third anyway.
But one third is still a lot.
It was a rhetorical question.
Are you looking for a sewing kit?
No. But there's nothing wrong
in taking it with you.
And the towels too?
What are you, a Texas Ranger?
- I'll take that as a compliment.
- Great! Enough!
Let's not rehash it.
When do we tell the kids?
I don't know.
Doctor will see us next week.
Just a few sentences.
That's a good sign.
"Dear family."
- "Too bad we're meeting..."
- Jzka.
- "...under such circumstances."
- Stop.
- Calm down.
- "I won't bore you. Let's get to it."
"All my savings
and money from selling the estate,
estimated at 10 million zlotys..."
Jesus!
"...I give to...
the local orphanage."
Say what?
To build a Disneyland?
"In addition, I prepared a game for you,
in which you can win the rights
to all my patents and inventions."
"All the best. Yours, Wadysaw."
- Rip it up.
- I told you, a nutter.
Let go!
A crook. Not a nutter.
Here you go. This is the tablet
for tomorrow's game. Here.
You play it yourself.
Oh fuck!
What? He's alive?
Hello, family.
Forgive me.
I know. My death and last will
might have been too much.
- Well, maybe.
- Yeah.
But you have to admit
it was the only way to get you all here.
But what for?
Are you dying, Uncle?
No.
I don't think so.
It's just that
after all these years alone,
well, almost alone,
why do I do it all? For whom?
I wanted you not to make my mistake.
To come here, interact,
get to know each other
before it's too late.
Your faces when he said
that I'm giving it to the orphanage...
Nah, it's a noble cause, after all.
Yes. Let's not dillydally.
Tomorrow, a fun game awaits.
I worked on it for a long time.
We will have a lot of fun.
We start at ten o'clock.
I have a question.
Excuse me, it's just theoretical.
I wanted to ask about Uncle's patents.
How much are they worth approximately?
By God, I don't know.
Tens of millions.
I talked to a few agencies.
Everyone is very interested.
But first things first.
These are serious matters.
- Jesus Christ!
- Jesus!
My latest invention.
Thin as a T-shirt, strong as Kevlar.
Is it bulletproof?
Luckily, yes.
Hey, Jzka.
- What a mind fuck.
- Exactly.
Now that everything is clear,
who wants something to drink?
- I'll have something strong.
- Definitely.
Dope. It's such a mood, fam, you feel me?
- Yeah, low-key go off, king.
- Stop it.
Yeah.
My design. Give it back when you solve it.
Deal?
Great. Thank you.
Family, time for me to go.
Tomorrow will be exciting.
So, from what I understand,
tomorrow the stakes are good fun?
Gotta wait and see, but yes.
I've been eating healthy lately.
You'll wait a while for the inheritance.
- Come on, Uncle.
- Yes.
Of course.
I don't like cussing, but...
- Uncle is fu...
- ...in the head!
There's no other way to say it.
He's simply cuckoo!
But,
on the other hand,
it might be fun to do something together.
You might be right.
Uncle will die for real one day.
Better be on good terms with him.
You know what? You scare me.
Karpacz is nearby. Remember that hotel?
Yeah. We didn't leave the room
the whole weekend.
Yeah, I got terribly sick.
I don't know, if you want,
we could go even now.
We're obviously not gonna play.
We're leaving. What are you doing?
Calculating how much we've spent on gas.
It's like we did a party trip to Sopot.
- What?
- Uber driver inside joke. It's expensive.
Your penis is an inside joke.
And the truth is that Beyonc
has been dead for 20 years.
Hey, Jzka.
- And, just like the US president...
- Jzka!
...she's been replaced
by several look-alikes.
Do not be deceived.
Nothing is as you've been told.
What?
Very sexy.
Are you cramming in a mink fur?
- Jzka!
- What?
I can't see anything.
Jesus, you have to line it up
with the mirror reflection.
Only then can you see an alien.
That's the true Da Vinci code.
That's some kind of bull.
I recently heard Dad ask Mom,
"When do we tell them?"
Is Mom pregnant or something?
Our parents want to tell us...
They want to tell us that...
you're stupid.
Bye!
Just when we thought
the surprises had ended,
it turned out it was only the beginning.
That's Jzka's scream.
Uncle Wadysaw is dead.
Again.
He forgot he had a normal shirt
and stabbed himself?
Don't look.
Even I couldn't have made this up.
But maybe it's another joke, right?
We should check if...
What?
Well, you know, if he really...
- You're the closest.
- Yeah.
Uncle.
Uncle!
He's not breathing.
Jesus. Call the police.
Just don't touch anything.
It's terrible.
Uncle is dead.
He's alive. It must be another joke.
This time, I don't think so.
That rascal.
We had this bet,
who'd die first.
He won.
Oh, the police are here.
You got here quickly, gentlemen.
That's true. I don't know
what you've been told, but...
Please start from the beginning.
As if we don't know anything.
Okay. Come in.
So, when it comes to
the so-called timeline of events,
at 9:00 a.m., my daughter, Jzefina,
went into the kitchen
and found Uncle's body.
Right there. Here.
Come on.
Hello.
Hello.
And what are you all doing here?
We came here yesterday
for the reading of the will.
Who?
Whose.
- What?
- Whose.
- Karol...
- Not "who" will, but "whose" will.
Uncle's will.
Why yesterday? You've just found him.
Well, Uncle liked surprises.
Here.
Since your rich uncle
has tricked you all, so to speak,
this isn't necessarily,
as you put it, a tragic mistake.
But what are you suggesting?
A murdering.
It's been snowing since yesterday.
We haven't seen any tire tracks.
The inside isn't, but the outside
is entirely monitored by cameras.
Some writings. In blood, I think.
Looks like a face.
Or the letter K, as in "Karol."
Unfortunately, it's ketchup.
Happy?
I didn't do it.
Even if I did, blood makes me queasy.
So I'd sooner strangle him or,
I don't know,
throw him down the stairs or...
Me neither! I don't touch people!
Technically, you don't touch people
with a knife, do you?
- All right, but it still wasn't me.
- It wasn't me either.
Or me.
Great idea. Everyone should say
if they did it or not.
Whoever confesses is the killer.
It wasn't me.
It wasn't me either.
Or me.
Or me.
I didn't kill him. Happy?
I was watching everyone.
Nonverbal cues say more than words.
They can uncover the liar.
So who's the liar?
I don't know.
You're the only people in the house?
Except for us.
All right. First, we have to secure
the effects mentioned in the will.
Where are those patents?
Wadysaw was very careful with them.
Does he have a USB?
Rumors. Wadysaw never collaborated
with the Security Bureau.
I have to close the windows.
Until the blizzard ends,
we are officially cut off from the world.
- An alert.
- They're tracking us.
For the good of the investigation,
please give us all your mobile phones.
Why?
Because the murderer is one of youse.
One of you.
What?
Not "one of youse," but "one of us"!
Since we're completely cut off
from the world,
we will conduct the investigation here.
- Have you known Gustaw long?
- What?
Hold on. And how long
have you been with Karol?
Well, six years.
- We had a break...
- That's not what she meant.
- Really?
- Tell me.
Please, it's undignified.
- Calm down.
- What do you mean, "calm down"?
"Calm down"!
Do you watch true crime documentaries?
Murderers are always so nice, so calm.
No.
Dad wouldn't have even killed
young Hitler if he could.
Quiet.
And Natalia knows a lot about murders
and covering up your tracks...
- Darling...
- A tax clerk is telling me what I can do...
Quiet!
I hope you all realize
that now this will,
written as a joke, is legally binding.
There's a will, a signature.
The orphanage will get it all.
And the winner of the game
will really inherit the patents.
We're not going to play
when Uncle's body is lying in the kitchen.
- No way.
- Of course we're not.
What do we do?
We all agree that none of us
is going to play and split it equally.
We won't play, they will,
and we'll get nothing.
Oh my.
See that? Look at the body language.
Dawid won't give up.
- I only see good in people.
- Not people. Hyenas.
So we don't want to do it,
but we will for Uncle, right?
I didn't approve,
but Jzka is sometimes right.
People do weirder things
for much less money.
Dawid, Zosia, Jzka, Henryk,
Natalia, Gustaw, Karol, Karol.
Line up, sound off! I'm kidding.
I hope you're rested and in good moods
because we're starting the game.
The first riddle.
What do I enjoy running the most?
Think about it,
and I'll see you in a moment.
- What?
- It's a song.
Money doesn't change people.
It shows who they really are.
What are you doing?
Please don't touch anything.
This is a crime scene.
Hold on.
You've got a stain.
Ketchup.
This is what I would love to run the most.
How's it going?
Looks like the game is about knowing
your family, so it's not going well.
Dinner was planned for 2:00 p.m. Do you...
They'll eat when they've finished.
Are you sure you can't help?
Wadysaw prepared everything by himself.
I can go first.
First for what?
For questioning.
Well, we'll decide that.
Did your uncle have an office?
He did.
- He did.
- He did.
He did.
- I haven't been carded in a while.
- Just wanted to make sure.
So you don't know
where the patents might be stored?
Unfortunately.
WHEEL OF TRUTH
True.
"What do I enjoy running the most?"
Twenty-six letters.
So what?
I don't know.
Who do you think killed him?
Yesterday, when it turned out
Uncle was alive,
it was a shock to everyone.
It's understandable.
Then we talked for a little while.
It turned out he knew
a lot more about us than we expected.
- What did he know about you?
- Well...
No, just in general.
You know how it is, Uncle.
Twenty years together. You know.
- But, no, everything's okay.
- That's very good.
And your boss, who you're dating?
Excuse me?
No way!
You know, Uncle?
Forgive me, I had to prepare.
Get to know you better.
I found out a few things
that I didn't really want to.
I assume that Dawid doesn't know anything.
Because there's nothing to know about.
I ended it before it even started.
It was one date. Nothing happened.
The worst truth
is better than the best lie.
As it happens, I'm currently working
on something that... Well, never mind.
You can't lie to him.
Tell him. Or I'll help you.
Thank you.
It's nothing.
He just knew.
He knew what I do
and asked about my job.
I just remembered...
I understand you're bound
by testimony privilege?
Yeah.
Yesterday evening,
I heard Karol,
the taller one, talking to Uncle
in a raised voice, and he...
screamed at Uncle,
"Your photo should be
on Wikipedia under 'miser.'"
And he left. And slammed the door too.
It's probably nothing.
But you'll know what to do with that.
Maybe it was Gustaw.
We have similar voices.
No, you don't.
If Uncle was still alive,
he could help us.
Instead, we were in the weeds.
Metaphorically. In reality,
we were still in the house.
- What did they ask you?
- Whether I suspect anyone.
Let's focus on the riddle.
And do you suspect anyone?
Actually, I always used to have
a good relationship with Uncle.
We were just talking.
So we were thinking, and it's Portugal.
And we calculated everything,
and all of it will cost one million.
One million?
These are the prices in Portugal.
Of all people
I think you understand, Uncle?
Four bedrooms?
A surprise for Karol.
"Disappointment, a kind of surprise."
Zipera. Never mind.
- But...
- I'm sorry, this is my final word. No.
Your photo should be
on Wikipedia under "miser"!
Ah. Yes.
Now I remember.
But it's not...
It's nothing.
Uncle suggested
that I should find myself a girlfriend,
start a normal family.
An elderly gentleman, you know?
Not his fault.
Out of curiosity,
who heard that conversation?
I know. Natalia?
If I had to guess,
she pretends to be rich,
but look at her expensive bag.
It's a fake.
I might be the only one here
who doesn't need his money.
Come to think of it,
one could say the thing
that Uncle liked running the most
was his game show!
Yeah. That fits. So what?
It's such a relief you're alive, Uncle.
When I found out you were dead,
I cried all night.
I'm sorry.
I didn't think that an old fart
who you hadn't talked to in 30 years
would be of any interest to you.
Time flies.
Anyway, please forgive me.
I'll try to atone for it.
That's a funny coincidence because lately,
I've made
some unfortunate financial investments.
And the advance for a new book,
let's say, I spent it.
And the truth is that I haven't written
a single page in over a year.
- I'm a bit short on...
- Inspiration?
Money.
I could use a small loan
of spending money.
Okay.
Thank you.
Under one condition.
Of course.
When's my birthday?
Excuse me?
Well, since I'm such a beloved uncle
that you cried all night,
this shouldn't be a difficult question.
That would be... 12th...
March?
My PESEL begins with 43.
Zero, two.
Zero, four.
So 4th February!
Yes. But too bad.
Only the first answer counts.
But it's obvious Zofia likes luxury.
Have you seen her shoes?
I'm just rambling.
SIG Sauer?
Are you on the force?
No. I write books. Crime novels.
Oh, that's why.
Right!
Natalia Szulc.
By Any Crimes Necessary.
I got it for my birthday.
Did you like it?
I still have to end the previous one.
- I know! There's an entryway here!
- Where?
This morning, when I was walking around,
I saw a door.
With a television lamp.
It was locked then, but maybe now...
- Okay, let's go.
- Gosh.
Darling, come here for a moment.
Come on.
- Focus now.
- All right.
We're playing for a lot of money.
Next time, when we find something,
don't share it with the others.
Listen to me.
We're not family anymore.
We're competitors.
Go.
Haven't you been here long enough?
We're almost done, boo.
It's nice of you to care.
Let's go.
We're almost there.
What's the rush?
Jesus.
The basement in our block of flats
is three square meters.
QUIEUncle's was a bit bigger.
Whoa! So cool.
A mini motorbike.
- What do we do now?
- Didn't the tablet say anything?
Uncle was supposed to be here with us.
He'd probably run the game show.
Your turn.
They're waiting for you.
- That clock is everywhere.
- Darling.
From this point on, it's all a race.
I'll be back soon.
How was the interrogation?
Nothing special.
- Standard questions.
- Yeah.
Exactly. Same for me. Boring.
- What are we even supposed to tell them?
- Yeah!
Hey, there are buttons here.
Karol, Natalia, Dawid.
We can't hear you.
HOW MANY BOOKS DID NATALIA WRITE?
- "How many books did Natalia write?"
- How many?
Good luck.
I don't know, guess. Say anything.
I can't hear you at all!
TRUE / FALSE
What's that?
"Where did Dawid and Zofia go
on their honeymoon?"
Well, where?
Everyone wanted to win but didn't notice
it was not a competition,
but a cooperation.
Our goal was to get
at least half of the points to advance.
I know. So we have to work together.
That makes sense. Family unity.
- You lost two points!
- You mean we lost?
- We.
- Yeah!
Maybe we can give hints?
Uncle is not here anyway, so...
"Where does Dawid work?"
Political Analysis Center
at Warsaw University.
- You've gotta be kidding.
- Center.
Circle.
Goes in.
Anal...
Look at me! I'm saying...
- Damn it.
- Fuck! What kind of questions are these?
It really turns out
that Uncle knows more about us
than we could have suspected.
What did he know about you?
Well...
Us? It's all very good.
You know, it could always be better,
but it could also be worse.
That's good. Very good.
So you're not behind
on your mortgage payments?
Temporary difficulties, but we'll manage.
I'm waiting for a grant.
The one that was rejected a month ago?
Yes.
I understand
Zosia doesn't know about anything?
I already annoy her constantly.
Dawid.
Tell her.
Or I'll help you do it.
Nothing in particular,
but he knew what I do,
and he read some of my papers.
I think it was an accident.
An unfortunate one.
But if I had to point to someone, then...
I could point to...
Of course, only if I really had to.
Please do feel forced.
- Yes!
- Come on!
Taurus.
- Yes!
- Go, Natalia.
Me?
We can increase our chances.
Two people can fit in there.
- Come on!
- Great idea! Go!
- Go!
- All right.
Press the button.
What won't people do for money, huh?
So?
"What does shorter Karol train?"
- Only 2 cm.
- Six.
- Krav Maga!
- Krav Maga.
Lambada?
Grab the head!
That's right!
- Kung fu?
- Come on! Think!
No, press the button!
Fencing!
- Schmencing, come on!
- Crap!
Jesus.
"What is taller Karol's back tattoo?"
Show her.
Look!
Well, that's a...
A dragon!
A dragon!
Yes!
It's Edyta Grniak turned into...
Never mind.
She was great in Metro.
"What was Dawid's
first girlfriend's name?"
Last night, I couldn't sleep
after all this.
- Well, anyhow...
- Anyhoo.
I heard Karol, Uncle's nephew's fianc,
the shorter one,
talking over the phone.
This is Karol. You texted me,
but I couldn't answer because...
I'm whispering
because it's 3:00 a.m. here.
In Thailand, it's six hours later.
Yeah. No, I told you,
I don't want a two-year-old!
Or even a one-year-old.
At most, a six-month-old.
I gave you an advance.
Fine. Okay, we'll keep in touch.
Jesus Christ.
I don't want to start
throwing accusations around,
but it looks like
they're trying to buy a baby.
And that costs a lot.
I mean, I think so, 'cause I've
never bought a child on the Internet.
Or anywhere else.
I've never bought a live child.
Nor a dead one.
- No. Jesus.
- Darn!
- Hey.
- Come on!
Listen.
- I know. Competitors.
- No. Things have changed a bit.
You're our last hope.
- Go.
- How many does he have to get?
- All of them.
- Press "Dawid."
I'd put one more person in.
Now it's too late!
- Look.
- "Natalia's date of birth."
That's 25th January 19...
Press the button.
That's 25th January 1973.
- Yes!
- Yes!
He always texts me.
Isn't that today?
- It's your birthday?
- Happy birthday...
No! Shush.
Fiftieth.
- You're 50?
- Of course not.
Come on. Look there.
"Karol's favorite childhood fairy tale?"
What do you think?
People would sell
their own mother for money.
If I could, I'd put them all in jail.
Do you have herpes again?
No, I don't.
- He's good!
- Last question!
Answer and we'll win!
- Come on!
- Something easy.
"What is Gustaw's real name?"
What?
What is your name?
Fuck me. All right.
Drink it.
- Now die.
- Die?
Very well.
Romeo?
Romeo?
Why didn't you tell me?
Yes!
So even Juliet didn't know?
How did you know?
I hate that name.
- It's beautiful, boo.
- How did you know all this?
How did Uncle know all this?
6 MONTHS EARLIER
Dawid Kos.
Oh, a survey.
Yes, all right.
You've got to be joking.
How long will it take?
Jesus.
Yes, I can spare five,
well, 15 minutes.
Thank you very much.
Just a few questions.
For starters, what was the name
of your first girlfriend?
And on which body part
do you have that tattoo?
- What's this survey for?
- That's a very odd question.
But you're paying, so a beach in Barbados.
Thank you.
So you know how to wield a knife?
What does that have to do with anything?
Nothing.
We don't know much about you.
But we see you've got childhood trauma.
- Stop it.
- Childhood trauma?
You must come from a broken home.
That's a miss.
His parents live in the States.
Some psychologist you are.
What about the Oedipus complex?
- Excuse me?
- Excuse me?
- Oh, please.
- Calm down.
Uncle's body is right there,
and we're in some Family Feud.
So quit!
Yes, Jzka has two phones.
We had no idea.
The cops she fooled didn't know either.
Only Henryk knows. And now you.
But in the end,
maybe it was this contraband phone
that saved all of our lives.
Police called back.
The officer got stuck in the snow.
How come he can't get here when...
Mom, come here!
I lost reception.
Sup? What are you two up to?
The police called.
The policeman is stuck in the snow.
I think those guys are not police.
I didn't like their behavior
from the start.
I wrote 40 crime novels.
Their gun is wrong.
We can't tell anyone
until we know the truth.
- All right.
- There is no telling what they could do.
What's so urgent?
I wanted to tell you that
I didn't know your proposal story.
It was sweet.
Yeah.
My daughter's telling me nice things.
Where's the camera?
Maybe Uncle's plan
is simply starting to work?
Cheers, family.
The tablet! Come here!
Congratulations on passing
the first stage.
Are we having fun?
If you're watching me,
I'm no longer with you
because I'm preparing
for the second stage.
A riddle. In order to pass,
you'll have no way out.
So there's more, huh?
We need to find good reception.
If there's Wi-Fi, we can get help.
Uncle said that the password
was very difficult.
- I'm going to the loo.
- Me too, with Heniek.
- You're going with Henio?
- Yes. I might need to go too. I'll see.
Okay, weirdos.
"You'll have no way out."
- Do you have reception?
- Not yet.
Hello. How's it going?
Can we help you?
Just going to the loo with my brother.
What brother?
I call Aunt
my older brother.
Because she always helps me
when I need it.
Yeah. Cute.
Time for questioning, young lady.
- Come on.
- But Jzefina is underage.
So I think I should go with her.
Right.
"You'll have no way out."
Maybe it's an escape room?
This whole house is an escape room.
In the garage,
there was a crossed-out "exit" sign.
I thought it was one of Uncle's jokes,
but now?
- Wait...
- Listen...
Let's keep it quiet.
It's very kind, older brother,
that you care about your niece.
Especially since
you said her mother
was a potential suspect.
Why?
They're trying to unnerve you.
It's an old technique,
rarely used by local police officers.
- What are you implying?
- Only that you're highly skilled.
Considering your positions.
- Why don't you write about us?
- Why not?
But first, I'd need to know your ranks.
No. I was never a good student.
Ranks, not marks.
In the police, where we work.
Inspector Bednarski.
And this is Warrant Officer Gudejko.
What's wrong?
What?
What's going on?
- Inhaler.
- What?
- Inhaler.
- What?
In our room.
- In our room? What inhaler?
- My...
My inhaler in our room.
- Your inhaler in our room?
- Fuck, inhaler in our room.
- She needs mouth-to-mouth.
- I can't breathe...
- A pat?
- Okay, go.
But what?
Who called you
when I was being questioned?
And what about your husband?
- Dawid?
- Yeah.
- He wouldn't hurt a fly.
- Yeah?
He's never even been in a fight.
We arm-wrestled once, and I won.
I hoped he had let me win.
But he admitted that he hadn't.
You know, a real man
wouldn't have let you win.
I would crush you.
You know a kick to the balls
hurts more than childbirth?
I keep meeting women who say,
"I want another baby."
But I've never heard a guy say,
"Kick me in the balls again."
I love that joke.
It's Dawid's.
A lady from the bank.
You didn't answer?
What's up?
Is your breathing better?
We just wanted to make sure.
And pigs can fly.
Where are the kids?
- In the loo.
- Yeah, Natalia too.
Yeah.
- Let's wait. We have to go in together.
- Sure.
Go in where?
All right, I think that's all.
- Get that teenager here.
- My brother?
Her boyfriend.
Your pocket's vibrating.
It's a pager.
A pager?
It's hip. Pagers are back.
Didn't you hear?
No. That's an insulin pump.
Jzefina has diabetes and...
Mosey on over.
- Hello?
- Dworki police. We got disconnected.
Commissioner Thirdog can't come.
He's stuck in a snowdrift.
There's no need anymore.
I'm sorry, my kids
were playing with my phone.
Yes, thank you. I'll teach them a lesson.
Why did you say you were the police?
Technically speaking,
we didn't say we were.
The police are here.
You got here quickly, gentlemen.
I don't know what you've been told...
Please start from the beginning.
As if we don't know anything.
Okay. So...
We were surprised ourselves
to see you here.
And later that your uncle was dead.
And you decided to lay back,
let us play, and take over the patents.
Your uncle was working on something
that some people are very interested in.
It stopped snowing.
Damn, it stopped snowing.
Think, Henryk, think.
INVALID PASSWORD
I don't mean to brag,
but I've had great success
in a few Warsaw escape rooms.
It's true.
Perfect, then we're home free.
How long can someone pee?
Do they know where we are?
I was looking for you.
- But...
- Why are you panting?
I was running. For sport.
And the kids?
They're being questioned together,
so it goes faster.
The police said that if we don't finish
in an hour, they'll...
- What?
- Take us to the police station.
Great.
So what do we do?
Second stage is an escape room.
And who killed Kennedy?
We don't know.
Should I tell you?
WHY DID WHEEL OF TRUTH
DISAPPEAR OFF THE AIR?
"Why did Wheel of Truth
disappear off the air?"
"Wheel of Truth was taken off the air
when one of the contestants
tried to commit suicide
after losing in the final round."
7 POZIOMKOWA STREEJust like the cabin from our childhood.
Jesus, I remember.
We were so poor, we only had one book.
Mom used to read it to us very slowly.
You!
Yes, that's us! Hey, look!
Show me.
Right. I don't remember this at all.
Okay, Dawid. Let's get to work.
Yes.
Fifty-nine minutes.
- Want one?
- No, thanks.
Seriously, Dawid?
Why not?
You never know what could happen.
In The Question Mark, there was this...
- Dawid. Time.
- Time.
Where did you get that box?
The candies?
I got them from the kitchen counter.
Show them to the camera.
It's here!
It's here?
What's written there?
"Saturday."
Oh shoot.
Meaning what?
I forgot to hide it.
That was Mr. Wadysaw's special snack.
Special how? What's going on?
Wadysaw liked to experiment
with substances, psychoac...
- How many did you have?
- Like two, three.
Seven. I've eaten seven.
On Saturdays,
he was testing a truth serum.
Of his own design.
He took half a candy, sometimes one.
And after one candy, you'd be very frank.
But after seven,
it could turn you inside out.
- I ate one too.
- Jesus.
I also had one.
I didn't. I'm on a diet.
I didn't get a chance.
I ate one too.
What do you mean, turn inside out?
It will start working in a few minutes.
- Great.
- Well, that's a pickle.
- Right.
- Are you all right?
No. All right, listen up.
As long as we know we're in a trap,
we have a chance to escape!
- Look around. Look for clues. Quickly!
- But what?
- Escape where?
- What?
Maybe here?
Where are you going? Stop!
Don't move!
Excuse me.
I think we have a problem.
Here! I got it! The first hint!
"What shocked you?"
What? Us?
Yes! Look around.
The clue could be anywhere!
- The lamp.
- Jesus.
The lamp.
What?
The lamp!
Meaning what?
- Is it welded?
- What about the lamp?
- Karol.
- No. It's ketchup! Jesus.
Okay.
- It's okay.
- Water.
He'll be out
for a couple of minutes. Karol?
Right.
All right, we have to make a ladder.
Out of what?
Out of whom.
Gustaw.
Hold on. Wait.
Here.
Jesus.
Up.
Jesus.
Hey. Turn around.
My eye!
Dawidek, be careful.
Dawid.
Try not to touch me.
I'm trying.
Be careful!
Yes! I've got the first number!
- Six!
- Yes!
- Hold on!
- Dawid, be careful!
Dawid!
- Jump!
- No!
- Come on!
- No!
Did we win?
- Are we millionaires?
- Not yet.
How did you know about the lamp?
Events that "shocked" us.
When I was here as a kid
during summer holidays,
I mean in Uncle's old cabin,
I got badly electrocuted.
I was in the hospital for over a month.
Yeah, there was that.
Your turn.
What?
Well, what shocked you?
Think unconventionally!
I don't know what shocked me!
The floor is lava! Watch out, you'll melt!
How many did they take?
A lot.
Mr. Dawid took the most.
I love you.
Truthfulness is kicking in.
I have a small penis.
- Jeez!
- Jesus, Karol, again? No, you don't.
I don't? Then eat a candy and tell me.
We haven't had sex in two years.
Jesus, Dawid!
My hands are shining.
- Great.
- Dawid.
- Where's the kid?
- My hands!
Great.
The son.
No, seriously, look at this! So cool!
INVALID PASSWORD
"The password is very difficult."
FORTUNA
QUIE"I'm going to work."
"Take your sandwiches."
"With Nutella?"
"Just how you like them."
When we were little,
the local boys used to laugh
that he played house and not ball.
Back then, it actually seemed weird.
I've had two husbands.
I cheated on both.
But they don't make them
like Dawid anymore.
No, they don't.
Listen. I didn't get that grant.
- I mean, I did, but I didn't accept it.
- What?
I didn't want to leave you
for four months.
Yeah. Especially since these are
our last moments together.
I choose a question about the Kos family.
The category is tidbits.
- Are Dawid and Zosia splitting up?
- Dawid, no.
"Yes" is the correct answer.
The only question left is
when do we tell the children?
Sorry, kid.
I've known for a long time.
Do you have a flasher from Men in Black?
Can you flash my parents?
Tell them they love each other again?
It doesn't work that way, kid.
What do you think?
That I didn't see you staring at that cop?
What? Please.
He's some kind of Neanderthal.
He thinks a kick in the balls
hurts more than childbirth!
Idiot.
Sorry, kid.
- I guess he never had a vaginal tear.
- I guess not!
Turns out that the Wi-Fi password
really was very difficult.
But, on the other hand, it was very easy.
Explaining it is complicated,
but the password was very easy.
Too easy, in fact,
because it was "very difficult."
Where are you?
Never mind, you'll see.
Damn.
"The password is very difficult."
Kid?
"Very difficult."
- Yes!
- Hey!
Damn.
Stop messing around!
Come on!
Kid!
- Since we both can't lie right now...
- Yeah?
You're only with me for the money, right?
No.
I'm not with you for the money.
I know that you've recently had
some financial problems.
I love you.
Come here.
But I don't like your perfume.
Okay. Excuse me!
Since we can't lie, I didn't kill Uncle.
Neither did I.
Me neither.
- I didn't either.
- We didn't eat any candy, so...
The best liar you know
is not the best liar you know.
I hope the kids aren't worried over there.
They're not police. They don't know ranks
and have the wrong gun.
What?
I don't know who they are.
They took Jzka and told me to keep quiet.
The police will come after the blizzard.
That's why they gave us an hour.
After that, they'll...
They'll what?
Jesus!
Jzia! Henio! I'm coming for you!
Zidane!
Zidane!
- Dawid, darling.
- Are you okay?
Dawid!
Our song is in here.
- What's its number?
- Eleven.
Eleven?
The last number. I'll type in the code.
- Get up.
- Give me your hand.
Dawid! Oh Jesus!
- It worked!
- Yes!
- Look, you opened the door!
- Let's go.
The tablet.
Yes.
Gotta do everything myself.
I'm scared of you!
Are you okay?
Leave her alone!
Where's Henryk?
Gosh.
Hey, come here.
Dear family, congratulations
on passing another stage.
The game is slowly coming to an end,
so we're going to have to
crank up the difficulty level.
In order to start the final task,
you all must become one.
Did your lights go out too?
Oh jeez.
That door requires
a fingerprint to open it.
Whose?
I'll help.
- No!
- No!
I bet you're such a tough guy
that you even peel an egg with a knife!
You've got 15 minutes.
- I'm taking the kid. Watch them!
- Please, take me instead of him!
The more the merrier.
You can do it, Dad!
Possibly, but probably not!
And they'll kill us all!
- Is it still working?
- No. Yes.
I don't have fake tits!
I can lie now.
And turn.
- Let's go.
- Fuck me.
Up!
- Yes.
- Yes.
Here. Put him down.
And what's this for?
- There.
- Not really.
- No?
- Not working.
- Hold on.
- Put it on me.
We must become one.
We all have to link up.
Come on, they've got Henryk.
Put it on. Henio isn't here!
Put it on!
There.
Come on. Follow me.
Sorry, kid.
Aunt Ela.
This labyrinth is like our family tree.
Let's take the right.
No, hold on.
We passed Uncle Janusz before.
That would mean we should go this way.
Isn't it the same way?
- A few minutes left.
- What will you do to us?
You ever play Pac-Man?
We'll eat you.
- Slow down?
- No.
What's the time?
Six minutes.
Six minutes.
There.
This is
our aunt's younger brother, Uncle Albert.
Wrong way.
- This way.
- But...
- The one with the wart?
- It grew even bigger.
No, we've already been here.
- No.
- Three minutes!
So which way?
I wonder if our portraits are here.
Right.
We have to find ourselves.
- Don't listen to coaches.
- We've been going the wrong way.
- We have to find ourselves. Follow me.
- Wait!
You!
- There.
- Henio!
Give it to me.
Give back Heniek.
Or what?
Zidane!
- Come on.
- Let's run.
Take it easy.
Sorry, kid. I couldn't help myself.
But I have to admit,
you've got balls.
Help!
Game over.
Give me that.
First, give back Henryk.
We also have a weapon!
- Oh, I can lie again.
- Give it to me!
- Karol.
- One blow and I'll crush your trachea...
Karol!
Hey, you! Try me.
Bravo, Henryk!
You'll get that console after all.
Even two!
You're wicked clever, bro!
I exaggerated a bit.
But Henryk really did train judo
for six months.
And he really did try.
Zidane!
Leave him alone! Leave my husband alone!
Come here!
There's your childbirth.
Come here, darling.
Help!
I'm sorry. For...
Fucking.
Freezing.
Frost.
Well, Uncle liked surprises.
It has to be.
A tragic mistake.
An unintentional suicide.
A ready-made book, right?
Why don't you write a series
about Commissioner Thirdog?
When Two Dogs Fight Over A Bone,
Thirdog Runs Away With It?
- Uncle's PESEL?
- Third wheel.
- Yes, quickly. Good.
- Not that. This. Good.
But we need month and day.
It's 4th February.
Don't tell me you didn't know.
- Four is here.
- Four and two.
Oh dear.
Damn.
- That's it!
- What?
- Empty.
- There's nothing here.
Nothing!
- It's empty!
- No!
Quiet!
Welcome. Since the entire family's here.
I welcome you all on my behalf
and on behalf of Uncle Wadysaw.
You arrived here yesterday,
and I hope a lot has changed since then.
Congratulations on completing the game.
As for my patents, don't worry.
They're all safely recorded here.
And maybe somewhere else.
But I'll tell you all about it
in the evening, at dinner.
See you soon. Cheers, family!
Sooner or later,
the patents will be found.
And even though we don't have millions,
we have each other.
And in this situation,
I think that's the most important.
Texas Ranger.
But also, a bit like Zidane.
So, if everything is clear now,
what would you like to drink?
Uncle's surname was Fortuna,
and he called
his game show Wheel of Truth?
He got furious
whenever anyone pointed it out.
- Wait a sec.
- Are you coming?
- What, now?
- Hello.
You wanted to tell us something?
- Yes.
- I'll help.
Yes. You're both old enough
that we can tell you.
I'm pregnant.
You're going to have a little brother.
Look at their faces. No, I was joking.
But you were seeing a doctor?
Robert Doctor.
Doctor is our lawyer's surname.
But it's not important.
Thinking that parents
have it all figured out
is humanity's greatest lie.
Yes!
Look at this!
Listen up!
- An announcement. We're staying in Poland.
- That's right!
What is it? What's going on?
The towels.
You have the right to remain silent.
Anything you say...
Well, you know that by heart.
Me?
But I didn't kill anyone.
It was me.
- What?
- It was me.
- He's lying.
- He's not.
Under the influence, you said you didn't.
No, I hadn't eaten the candy.
But the other thing I said is true.
I really do love you, Natalia.
- I'm sorry.
- But why?
Now, focus.
To Natalia's joy, Gustaw wasn't with her
for her money.
But to her dismay, he was with her
because she was Uncle's family.
He couldn't reach him any other way,
since Uncle spent his entire life
in a backcountry guarded stronghold.
ATTENTION! LAND MINES
PROBABLY...
Back in 1990, Gustaw's grandma,
who raised him, was on Wheel of Truth.
Karol was right about Gustaw.
Uncle gave her a misleading hint.
At least, that's what Grandma claimed.
She lost, fell into depression,
and finally even tried to kill herself.
As a result, Gustaw was sent
to an orphanage and blamed Uncle for it.
Grandma!
Gustaw Romeo had been planning the murder
for a long time.
But he didn't predict
that he'd fall in love with Natalia.
He gave up on the plan.
He was relieved
when he found out Uncle was dead.
Oh fuck!
When they came for the reading of the will
and Uncle appeared,
Gustaw was speechless.
At night, when he went down
to have a drink of water, he met Uncle.
Who, as it turns out, knew from the start
who Gustaw really was,
since he had prepared for the game.
They began talking.
Everything was going well. But in the end...
- I forgive you.
- I forgive you.
What for?
Only for wanting to kill me.
And you, Romeo?
What do you forgive me for?
That you gave a misleading hint.
That's not true.
- It is true.
- No.
Just admit that you made a mistake.
I can't.
Say it.
I can't lie to you.
The correct answer was Greenland,
and I showed Katarzyna...
- Don't you say her name!
- I wanted to show Katarzyna...
During their talk, Uncle was
under the influence of his truth candies.
He was trying to tell Gustaw
that he literally can't lie to him.
Maybe that's why he admitted to him
that he knew
Gustaw's true name and who he was.
I didn't mean to kill him.
I thought that since he had
that bulletproof shirt on, then, well,
I'd just stab him a few times.
As part of therapy?
I didn't know he put on a regular shirt.
They look identical.
And when I stabbed him for the first time,
and the blood appeared,
I don't know which one of us
was more surprised.
I'm sorry.
How did you know it was me?
It's all thanks to Heniek.
When he found that article
with a photo of the participant's family,
the caption read,
"Mrs. Katarzyna with grandson Romeo."
A rare name.
This morning, he found
the last piece of the puzzle.
Remember? Gustaw Romeo
entered the kitchen and asked...
He had a normal shirt and stabbed himself?
He spoke too soon.
He said it before he saw the body.
How could he have known how Uncle died?
But it was still just a theory.
That's why I called the police,
and they asked me not to tell anybody.
- So I only told Dad.
- We didn't have any evidence.
The only option was to bluff
and check if you really love Natalia
enough to keep her out of jail.
Did everything during that weekend
happen exactly as I told you?
I don't know. Remember, I was pretty high.
But it's my version,
and I'm sticking to it.
That weekend changed a lot
in all of our lives.
There's the best man. We can begin.
Natalia's already writing a book
about the events in Uncle's mansion.
The Old Man and the Sickle.
Were you bored?
So far, despite searching,
no one has been able to find the patents.
The Karols became totally obsessed
with Wadysaw,
a six-month-old Akita.
That's what Karol bought in Thailand.
Phew.
And the butler?
Uncle had been paying him so well,
for shooting at him and so on,
that he was able to buy the mansion.
He still lives there.
He has his own butler, but still cleans
and waters the plants himself.
And us? We still don't have a balcony.
But Jzka is more chill,
and Heniek wants to be a detective.
And things with Zosia are better.
We've started going to a Casino.
Jakub Casino, a couples' therapist.
What won't people do for money, huh?
A better question is,
what won't people do for their family?
As for money, it's like I said.
We don't have it, and we're happy.
THE END
PROBABLY...
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome
to another episode of Wheel of Truth.
My name is Wadysaw Fortuna.
Here are our prizes.
A mini motorbike, a car,
and our main prize,
a check for one billion zlotys.
Mrs. Katarzyna came to us from Bydgoszcz.
- Yes.
- Alone?
With my grandson.
There's one question left.
If you make a mistake,
you lose everything.
What is the name
of the biggest island in the world?
Hold on. You know.
It's...
The Bowtie Island?
I'm sorry.
The correct answer is Greenland.
No!
But...
Thank you for tuning in today.
And see you next week.
Subtitle translation by:
Katarzyna Bachnio-Sitkiewicz
What won't people do for money, huh?
INHERITANCE
It's incredible.
If you inherit one million zlotys
and someone from your family gets two,
you feel as if you lost a million.
But let's back up.
We went to the reading of my uncle's will.
We lost touch, but as far as I remember,
he was an unusual guy.
- Uncle was a spy. He knew Bill Gates...
- Jzka, stop!
...who was also a spy.
Do you know
where a secret agent's nose is?
Between his spies.
Uncle hosted
the first Polish TV game show.
- Yeah.
- A long time ago.
Then he went on to make inventions.
Like what?
They say he invented the PESEL number.
Universal Electronic System
for Registration of the Population?
He chipped people before it was trendy.
Let's play the license plate game.
The kids didn't want to go.
But Uncle demanded it.
"The entire family needs to attend."
No candy.
We met the family
earlier than we expected.
Natalia?
That's Natalia, my cousin.
Dawid.
Hi there!
Hi.
- Karol!
- What?
Put on some gloves.
Karolek?
You've grown so much!
No, I'm Karol.
Fortuna.
- That's a different Karol.
- Oh, hi.
- Hi.
- He doesn't like touching people.
- Post-Covid thing.
- Hi.
And this is Gustaw.
- Hi.
- My son.
Stop staring.
It always works.
- Gustaw, my boyfriend.
- Hello.
Oh! Hi.
- Karol.
- It also usually works. Karol, my fianc.
And this is Zosia, my wife.
Zosia.
Wave!
Long time no see, huh?
It's a terrible thing, right?
What thing?
Uncle dying.
- Yes. Tragedy.
- Ah! Yeah.
- Awful.
- Tough break.
About Mr. Wadysaw's house,
there's a sign saying,
"Attention! Land mines."
But it's not true.
Probably.
- Jesus! I'm sorry.
- Oh my.
No, it's nothing.
- Know how much this cost?
- It was an accident.
I forgot that accidental stains
wash out on their own.
Oh, sorry!
What kind of car
did Uncle drive when he came here?
An old one or...?
Usually, he cycled here.
He had an old-school Wigry-2 bicycle.
Unless it was Sunday,
then he'd bring out the Bentley.
Or the Ferrari.
Or the Jaguar.
Go!
A large inheritance
can turn a normal family into lunatics.
And an abnormal family?
You'll see.
- What have you done this time?
- Met my family.
All right, go.
Come on, drive!
All right. Not everything's a race.
Zosia and I
switched places at the station,
but it was a mutual decision.
Welcome. Since the entire family's here...
Uncle's butler.
A person who could leave the house
with no pants on.
But you can't stay mad at him
because it turns out
he went to buy your favorite ice cream.
I'll open the garage door.
Please park in the garage.
A heavy blizzard is coming.
So what happened to Uncle...
I'm sure you're all hungry after the trip.
Let's have some dinner.
We will read the last will
in the evening. Follow me.
Hurry.
Thank you.
How many years has it been
since we've all been together like this?
- Fifteen?
- Twent...
It was before I graduated from high sch...
Thirty years ago!
I'm not even that old.
Karol, Uncle's nephew.
A marketer at a mid-level company.
He sure can talk.
And this is his fianc. Also Karol.
He drives an Uber
or as he calls it, he is a psychologist.
Uncle's niece, Natalia.
A famous crime novel writer.
I've read them all,
but I think there's too much sex there.
Her boyfriend, Gustaw.
I know what you're thinking.
A huge difference.
He's almost 20 cm taller than Natalia.
I don't know what he does,
but not homework, as my wife jokes.
That's me, Dawid. I'm a teacher.
My wife says that I don't earn much,
but at least nobody cares about my work.
My wife, Zosia, is a tax clerk.
I sometimes say it's a character trait.
Behind her back.
My daughter, Jzefina, is 16,
but honestly,
I wish she was still four years old.
And my son, Henryk.
He's 13, and he has no idea
that he's about to be
the real hero of this story.
A yacht.
Excuse me?
I thought we'd all say what we'll buy
with the money from the inheritance.
I wonder how Uncle split it.
Equally, I'm sure.
It's never equal.
A bigger apartment
with a balcony.
We're leaving the country this year.
We wanted to go to Hamburg,
but now I don't know.
Maybe Portugal?
You're all invited
to our housewarming party.
The kids as well?
Are you asking
whether we're buying a kid as well?
No.
I meant whether the kids could...
I mean...
Are you in favor of gay adoption?
Are you asking
whether we want to adopt a gay person?
No.
I meant, just out of curiosity,
whether you take part in the discourse...
- To a new, happy life!
- Yes, let's drink to that.
- Money can't buy happiness.
- Easy to say when you have it.
But listen, we don't have it,
and we're happy.
- It's like...
- Eat.
I mean, you know, my point was that
there are more important things
in life than money.
Family, kids, right?
You can't be happy without kids?
No, you can!
I mean, of course
you cannot. But you...
And why can't we? Because of what?
You drink too much and can't get pregnant.
What are you talking about?
How much Uncle left you?
You believe Bezos is
the richest man in the world?
The rich quietly control everything.
- Jzefina.
- You're right.
Let's go to our room.
- We'll browse the latest offers on kids.
- Awesome.
He was weird even as a child.
And I'm not a homophobe.
I can't be since my husband
was gay.
- But who? Dawid?
- Yeah.
He should be on Wikipedia
under "bumbling."
Do you think he voted for...?
I wouldn't go that far. Who cares anyway?
Hey, it's crooked.
Come here.
What would you name your yacht?
Natalia should call hers "Gustaw."
Since she has to pay for both.
Maybe he really isn't with her
for the money.
May bees don't live long.
Gustaw won't hang around long either.
He's with her for her money.
Desperate Crimes and Measures.
You wanted an autograph.
Forget it.
How old is she?
With such a child.
We'll be hearing them at night.
Watch out!
- It's nothing.
- My shirts.
Oh, come on.
- And their daughter?
- She's crazy.
Schmazy. That's not what I meant.
Kids have it worse now.
You did a lot of cringe stuff as a kid.
But there were no phones to record it.
According to his theory,
the trails left by the planes
are actually chemical compounds
spread to control the population.
- What's that?
- Scram!
- What's more, he claims that chemtrails...
- Jeez!
- What?
- Nothing.
...make frogs gay.
- I need to work out.
- What if he gives it all to Dawid?
You heard the boy scout.
He'll split it equally.
- You're recording?
- No.
Sweetie, don't worry about it.
What if he gives it all to Dawid?
Then we'll get one third anyway.
But one third is still a lot.
It was a rhetorical question.
Are you looking for a sewing kit?
No. But there's nothing wrong
in taking it with you.
And the towels too?
What are you, a Texas Ranger?
- I'll take that as a compliment.
- Great! Enough!
Let's not rehash it.
When do we tell the kids?
I don't know.
Doctor will see us next week.
Just a few sentences.
That's a good sign.
"Dear family."
- "Too bad we're meeting..."
- Jzka.
- "...under such circumstances."
- Stop.
- Calm down.
- "I won't bore you. Let's get to it."
"All my savings
and money from selling the estate,
estimated at 10 million zlotys..."
Jesus!
"...I give to...
the local orphanage."
Say what?
To build a Disneyland?
"In addition, I prepared a game for you,
in which you can win the rights
to all my patents and inventions."
"All the best. Yours, Wadysaw."
- Rip it up.
- I told you, a nutter.
Let go!
A crook. Not a nutter.
Here you go. This is the tablet
for tomorrow's game. Here.
You play it yourself.
Oh fuck!
What? He's alive?
Hello, family.
Forgive me.
I know. My death and last will
might have been too much.
- Well, maybe.
- Yeah.
But you have to admit
it was the only way to get you all here.
But what for?
Are you dying, Uncle?
No.
I don't think so.
It's just that
after all these years alone,
well, almost alone,
why do I do it all? For whom?
I wanted you not to make my mistake.
To come here, interact,
get to know each other
before it's too late.
Your faces when he said
that I'm giving it to the orphanage...
Nah, it's a noble cause, after all.
Yes. Let's not dillydally.
Tomorrow, a fun game awaits.
I worked on it for a long time.
We will have a lot of fun.
We start at ten o'clock.
I have a question.
Excuse me, it's just theoretical.
I wanted to ask about Uncle's patents.
How much are they worth approximately?
By God, I don't know.
Tens of millions.
I talked to a few agencies.
Everyone is very interested.
But first things first.
These are serious matters.
- Jesus Christ!
- Jesus!
My latest invention.
Thin as a T-shirt, strong as Kevlar.
Is it bulletproof?
Luckily, yes.
Hey, Jzka.
- What a mind fuck.
- Exactly.
Now that everything is clear,
who wants something to drink?
- I'll have something strong.
- Definitely.
Dope. It's such a mood, fam, you feel me?
- Yeah, low-key go off, king.
- Stop it.
Yeah.
My design. Give it back when you solve it.
Deal?
Great. Thank you.
Family, time for me to go.
Tomorrow will be exciting.
So, from what I understand,
tomorrow the stakes are good fun?
Gotta wait and see, but yes.
I've been eating healthy lately.
You'll wait a while for the inheritance.
- Come on, Uncle.
- Yes.
Of course.
I don't like cussing, but...
- Uncle is fu...
- ...in the head!
There's no other way to say it.
He's simply cuckoo!
But,
on the other hand,
it might be fun to do something together.
You might be right.
Uncle will die for real one day.
Better be on good terms with him.
You know what? You scare me.
Karpacz is nearby. Remember that hotel?
Yeah. We didn't leave the room
the whole weekend.
Yeah, I got terribly sick.
I don't know, if you want,
we could go even now.
We're obviously not gonna play.
We're leaving. What are you doing?
Calculating how much we've spent on gas.
It's like we did a party trip to Sopot.
- What?
- Uber driver inside joke. It's expensive.
Your penis is an inside joke.
And the truth is that Beyonc
has been dead for 20 years.
Hey, Jzka.
- And, just like the US president...
- Jzka!
...she's been replaced
by several look-alikes.
Do not be deceived.
Nothing is as you've been told.
What?
Very sexy.
Are you cramming in a mink fur?
- Jzka!
- What?
I can't see anything.
Jesus, you have to line it up
with the mirror reflection.
Only then can you see an alien.
That's the true Da Vinci code.
That's some kind of bull.
I recently heard Dad ask Mom,
"When do we tell them?"
Is Mom pregnant or something?
Our parents want to tell us...
They want to tell us that...
you're stupid.
Bye!
Just when we thought
the surprises had ended,
it turned out it was only the beginning.
That's Jzka's scream.
Uncle Wadysaw is dead.
Again.
He forgot he had a normal shirt
and stabbed himself?
Don't look.
Even I couldn't have made this up.
But maybe it's another joke, right?
We should check if...
What?
Well, you know, if he really...
- You're the closest.
- Yeah.
Uncle.
Uncle!
He's not breathing.
Jesus. Call the police.
Just don't touch anything.
It's terrible.
Uncle is dead.
He's alive. It must be another joke.
This time, I don't think so.
That rascal.
We had this bet,
who'd die first.
He won.
Oh, the police are here.
You got here quickly, gentlemen.
That's true. I don't know
what you've been told, but...
Please start from the beginning.
As if we don't know anything.
Okay. Come in.
So, when it comes to
the so-called timeline of events,
at 9:00 a.m., my daughter, Jzefina,
went into the kitchen
and found Uncle's body.
Right there. Here.
Come on.
Hello.
Hello.
And what are you all doing here?
We came here yesterday
for the reading of the will.
Who?
Whose.
- What?
- Whose.
- Karol...
- Not "who" will, but "whose" will.
Uncle's will.
Why yesterday? You've just found him.
Well, Uncle liked surprises.
Here.
Since your rich uncle
has tricked you all, so to speak,
this isn't necessarily,
as you put it, a tragic mistake.
But what are you suggesting?
A murdering.
It's been snowing since yesterday.
We haven't seen any tire tracks.
The inside isn't, but the outside
is entirely monitored by cameras.
Some writings. In blood, I think.
Looks like a face.
Or the letter K, as in "Karol."
Unfortunately, it's ketchup.
Happy?
I didn't do it.
Even if I did, blood makes me queasy.
So I'd sooner strangle him or,
I don't know,
throw him down the stairs or...
Me neither! I don't touch people!
Technically, you don't touch people
with a knife, do you?
- All right, but it still wasn't me.
- It wasn't me either.
Or me.
Great idea. Everyone should say
if they did it or not.
Whoever confesses is the killer.
It wasn't me.
It wasn't me either.
Or me.
Or me.
I didn't kill him. Happy?
I was watching everyone.
Nonverbal cues say more than words.
They can uncover the liar.
So who's the liar?
I don't know.
You're the only people in the house?
Except for us.
All right. First, we have to secure
the effects mentioned in the will.
Where are those patents?
Wadysaw was very careful with them.
Does he have a USB?
Rumors. Wadysaw never collaborated
with the Security Bureau.
I have to close the windows.
Until the blizzard ends,
we are officially cut off from the world.
- An alert.
- They're tracking us.
For the good of the investigation,
please give us all your mobile phones.
Why?
Because the murderer is one of youse.
One of you.
What?
Not "one of youse," but "one of us"!
Since we're completely cut off
from the world,
we will conduct the investigation here.
- Have you known Gustaw long?
- What?
Hold on. And how long
have you been with Karol?
Well, six years.
- We had a break...
- That's not what she meant.
- Really?
- Tell me.
Please, it's undignified.
- Calm down.
- What do you mean, "calm down"?
"Calm down"!
Do you watch true crime documentaries?
Murderers are always so nice, so calm.
No.
Dad wouldn't have even killed
young Hitler if he could.
Quiet.
And Natalia knows a lot about murders
and covering up your tracks...
- Darling...
- A tax clerk is telling me what I can do...
Quiet!
I hope you all realize
that now this will,
written as a joke, is legally binding.
There's a will, a signature.
The orphanage will get it all.
And the winner of the game
will really inherit the patents.
We're not going to play
when Uncle's body is lying in the kitchen.
- No way.
- Of course we're not.
What do we do?
We all agree that none of us
is going to play and split it equally.
We won't play, they will,
and we'll get nothing.
Oh my.
See that? Look at the body language.
Dawid won't give up.
- I only see good in people.
- Not people. Hyenas.
So we don't want to do it,
but we will for Uncle, right?
I didn't approve,
but Jzka is sometimes right.
People do weirder things
for much less money.
Dawid, Zosia, Jzka, Henryk,
Natalia, Gustaw, Karol, Karol.
Line up, sound off! I'm kidding.
I hope you're rested and in good moods
because we're starting the game.
The first riddle.
What do I enjoy running the most?
Think about it,
and I'll see you in a moment.
- What?
- It's a song.
Money doesn't change people.
It shows who they really are.
What are you doing?
Please don't touch anything.
This is a crime scene.
Hold on.
You've got a stain.
Ketchup.
This is what I would love to run the most.
How's it going?
Looks like the game is about knowing
your family, so it's not going well.
Dinner was planned for 2:00 p.m. Do you...
They'll eat when they've finished.
Are you sure you can't help?
Wadysaw prepared everything by himself.
I can go first.
First for what?
For questioning.
Well, we'll decide that.
Did your uncle have an office?
He did.
- He did.
- He did.
He did.
- I haven't been carded in a while.
- Just wanted to make sure.
So you don't know
where the patents might be stored?
Unfortunately.
WHEEL OF TRUTH
True.
"What do I enjoy running the most?"
Twenty-six letters.
So what?
I don't know.
Who do you think killed him?
Yesterday, when it turned out
Uncle was alive,
it was a shock to everyone.
It's understandable.
Then we talked for a little while.
It turned out he knew
a lot more about us than we expected.
- What did he know about you?
- Well...
No, just in general.
You know how it is, Uncle.
Twenty years together. You know.
- But, no, everything's okay.
- That's very good.
And your boss, who you're dating?
Excuse me?
No way!
You know, Uncle?
Forgive me, I had to prepare.
Get to know you better.
I found out a few things
that I didn't really want to.
I assume that Dawid doesn't know anything.
Because there's nothing to know about.
I ended it before it even started.
It was one date. Nothing happened.
The worst truth
is better than the best lie.
As it happens, I'm currently working
on something that... Well, never mind.
You can't lie to him.
Tell him. Or I'll help you.
Thank you.
It's nothing.
He just knew.
He knew what I do
and asked about my job.
I just remembered...
I understand you're bound
by testimony privilege?
Yeah.
Yesterday evening,
I heard Karol,
the taller one, talking to Uncle
in a raised voice, and he...
screamed at Uncle,
"Your photo should be
on Wikipedia under 'miser.'"
And he left. And slammed the door too.
It's probably nothing.
But you'll know what to do with that.
Maybe it was Gustaw.
We have similar voices.
No, you don't.
If Uncle was still alive,
he could help us.
Instead, we were in the weeds.
Metaphorically. In reality,
we were still in the house.
- What did they ask you?
- Whether I suspect anyone.
Let's focus on the riddle.
And do you suspect anyone?
Actually, I always used to have
a good relationship with Uncle.
We were just talking.
So we were thinking, and it's Portugal.
And we calculated everything,
and all of it will cost one million.
One million?
These are the prices in Portugal.
Of all people
I think you understand, Uncle?
Four bedrooms?
A surprise for Karol.
"Disappointment, a kind of surprise."
Zipera. Never mind.
- But...
- I'm sorry, this is my final word. No.
Your photo should be
on Wikipedia under "miser"!
Ah. Yes.
Now I remember.
But it's not...
It's nothing.
Uncle suggested
that I should find myself a girlfriend,
start a normal family.
An elderly gentleman, you know?
Not his fault.
Out of curiosity,
who heard that conversation?
I know. Natalia?
If I had to guess,
she pretends to be rich,
but look at her expensive bag.
It's a fake.
I might be the only one here
who doesn't need his money.
Come to think of it,
one could say the thing
that Uncle liked running the most
was his game show!
Yeah. That fits. So what?
It's such a relief you're alive, Uncle.
When I found out you were dead,
I cried all night.
I'm sorry.
I didn't think that an old fart
who you hadn't talked to in 30 years
would be of any interest to you.
Time flies.
Anyway, please forgive me.
I'll try to atone for it.
That's a funny coincidence because lately,
I've made
some unfortunate financial investments.
And the advance for a new book,
let's say, I spent it.
And the truth is that I haven't written
a single page in over a year.
- I'm a bit short on...
- Inspiration?
Money.
I could use a small loan
of spending money.
Okay.
Thank you.
Under one condition.
Of course.
When's my birthday?
Excuse me?
Well, since I'm such a beloved uncle
that you cried all night,
this shouldn't be a difficult question.
That would be... 12th...
March?
My PESEL begins with 43.
Zero, two.
Zero, four.
So 4th February!
Yes. But too bad.
Only the first answer counts.
But it's obvious Zofia likes luxury.
Have you seen her shoes?
I'm just rambling.
SIG Sauer?
Are you on the force?
No. I write books. Crime novels.
Oh, that's why.
Right!
Natalia Szulc.
By Any Crimes Necessary.
I got it for my birthday.
Did you like it?
I still have to end the previous one.
- I know! There's an entryway here!
- Where?
This morning, when I was walking around,
I saw a door.
With a television lamp.
It was locked then, but maybe now...
- Okay, let's go.
- Gosh.
Darling, come here for a moment.
Come on.
- Focus now.
- All right.
We're playing for a lot of money.
Next time, when we find something,
don't share it with the others.
Listen to me.
We're not family anymore.
We're competitors.
Go.
Haven't you been here long enough?
We're almost done, boo.
It's nice of you to care.
Let's go.
We're almost there.
What's the rush?
Jesus.
The basement in our block of flats
is three square meters.
QUIEUncle's was a bit bigger.
Whoa! So cool.
A mini motorbike.
- What do we do now?
- Didn't the tablet say anything?
Uncle was supposed to be here with us.
He'd probably run the game show.
Your turn.
They're waiting for you.
- That clock is everywhere.
- Darling.
From this point on, it's all a race.
I'll be back soon.
How was the interrogation?
Nothing special.
- Standard questions.
- Yeah.
Exactly. Same for me. Boring.
- What are we even supposed to tell them?
- Yeah!
Hey, there are buttons here.
Karol, Natalia, Dawid.
We can't hear you.
HOW MANY BOOKS DID NATALIA WRITE?
- "How many books did Natalia write?"
- How many?
Good luck.
I don't know, guess. Say anything.
I can't hear you at all!
TRUE / FALSE
What's that?
"Where did Dawid and Zofia go
on their honeymoon?"
Well, where?
Everyone wanted to win but didn't notice
it was not a competition,
but a cooperation.
Our goal was to get
at least half of the points to advance.
I know. So we have to work together.
That makes sense. Family unity.
- You lost two points!
- You mean we lost?
- We.
- Yeah!
Maybe we can give hints?
Uncle is not here anyway, so...
"Where does Dawid work?"
Political Analysis Center
at Warsaw University.
- You've gotta be kidding.
- Center.
Circle.
Goes in.
Anal...
Look at me! I'm saying...
- Damn it.
- Fuck! What kind of questions are these?
It really turns out
that Uncle knows more about us
than we could have suspected.
What did he know about you?
Well...
Us? It's all very good.
You know, it could always be better,
but it could also be worse.
That's good. Very good.
So you're not behind
on your mortgage payments?
Temporary difficulties, but we'll manage.
I'm waiting for a grant.
The one that was rejected a month ago?
Yes.
I understand
Zosia doesn't know about anything?
I already annoy her constantly.
Dawid.
Tell her.
Or I'll help you do it.
Nothing in particular,
but he knew what I do,
and he read some of my papers.
I think it was an accident.
An unfortunate one.
But if I had to point to someone, then...
I could point to...
Of course, only if I really had to.
Please do feel forced.
- Yes!
- Come on!
Taurus.
- Yes!
- Go, Natalia.
Me?
We can increase our chances.
Two people can fit in there.
- Come on!
- Great idea! Go!
- Go!
- All right.
Press the button.
What won't people do for money, huh?
So?
"What does shorter Karol train?"
- Only 2 cm.
- Six.
- Krav Maga!
- Krav Maga.
Lambada?
Grab the head!
That's right!
- Kung fu?
- Come on! Think!
No, press the button!
Fencing!
- Schmencing, come on!
- Crap!
Jesus.
"What is taller Karol's back tattoo?"
Show her.
Look!
Well, that's a...
A dragon!
A dragon!
Yes!
It's Edyta Grniak turned into...
Never mind.
She was great in Metro.
"What was Dawid's
first girlfriend's name?"
Last night, I couldn't sleep
after all this.
- Well, anyhow...
- Anyhoo.
I heard Karol, Uncle's nephew's fianc,
the shorter one,
talking over the phone.
This is Karol. You texted me,
but I couldn't answer because...
I'm whispering
because it's 3:00 a.m. here.
In Thailand, it's six hours later.
Yeah. No, I told you,
I don't want a two-year-old!
Or even a one-year-old.
At most, a six-month-old.
I gave you an advance.
Fine. Okay, we'll keep in touch.
Jesus Christ.
I don't want to start
throwing accusations around,
but it looks like
they're trying to buy a baby.
And that costs a lot.
I mean, I think so, 'cause I've
never bought a child on the Internet.
Or anywhere else.
I've never bought a live child.
Nor a dead one.
- No. Jesus.
- Darn!
- Hey.
- Come on!
Listen.
- I know. Competitors.
- No. Things have changed a bit.
You're our last hope.
- Go.
- How many does he have to get?
- All of them.
- Press "Dawid."
I'd put one more person in.
Now it's too late!
- Look.
- "Natalia's date of birth."
That's 25th January 19...
Press the button.
That's 25th January 1973.
- Yes!
- Yes!
He always texts me.
Isn't that today?
- It's your birthday?
- Happy birthday...
No! Shush.
Fiftieth.
- You're 50?
- Of course not.
Come on. Look there.
"Karol's favorite childhood fairy tale?"
What do you think?
People would sell
their own mother for money.
If I could, I'd put them all in jail.
Do you have herpes again?
No, I don't.
- He's good!
- Last question!
Answer and we'll win!
- Come on!
- Something easy.
"What is Gustaw's real name?"
What?
What is your name?
Fuck me. All right.
Drink it.
- Now die.
- Die?
Very well.
Romeo?
Romeo?
Why didn't you tell me?
Yes!
So even Juliet didn't know?
How did you know?
I hate that name.
- It's beautiful, boo.
- How did you know all this?
How did Uncle know all this?
6 MONTHS EARLIER
Dawid Kos.
Oh, a survey.
Yes, all right.
You've got to be joking.
How long will it take?
Jesus.
Yes, I can spare five,
well, 15 minutes.
Thank you very much.
Just a few questions.
For starters, what was the name
of your first girlfriend?
And on which body part
do you have that tattoo?
- What's this survey for?
- That's a very odd question.
But you're paying, so a beach in Barbados.
Thank you.
So you know how to wield a knife?
What does that have to do with anything?
Nothing.
We don't know much about you.
But we see you've got childhood trauma.
- Stop it.
- Childhood trauma?
You must come from a broken home.
That's a miss.
His parents live in the States.
Some psychologist you are.
What about the Oedipus complex?
- Excuse me?
- Excuse me?
- Oh, please.
- Calm down.
Uncle's body is right there,
and we're in some Family Feud.
So quit!
Yes, Jzka has two phones.
We had no idea.
The cops she fooled didn't know either.
Only Henryk knows. And now you.
But in the end,
maybe it was this contraband phone
that saved all of our lives.
Police called back.
The officer got stuck in the snow.
How come he can't get here when...
Mom, come here!
I lost reception.
Sup? What are you two up to?
The police called.
The policeman is stuck in the snow.
I think those guys are not police.
I didn't like their behavior
from the start.
I wrote 40 crime novels.
Their gun is wrong.
We can't tell anyone
until we know the truth.
- All right.
- There is no telling what they could do.
What's so urgent?
I wanted to tell you that
I didn't know your proposal story.
It was sweet.
Yeah.
My daughter's telling me nice things.
Where's the camera?
Maybe Uncle's plan
is simply starting to work?
Cheers, family.
The tablet! Come here!
Congratulations on passing
the first stage.
Are we having fun?
If you're watching me,
I'm no longer with you
because I'm preparing
for the second stage.
A riddle. In order to pass,
you'll have no way out.
So there's more, huh?
We need to find good reception.
If there's Wi-Fi, we can get help.
Uncle said that the password
was very difficult.
- I'm going to the loo.
- Me too, with Heniek.
- You're going with Henio?
- Yes. I might need to go too. I'll see.
Okay, weirdos.
"You'll have no way out."
- Do you have reception?
- Not yet.
Hello. How's it going?
Can we help you?
Just going to the loo with my brother.
What brother?
I call Aunt
my older brother.
Because she always helps me
when I need it.
Yeah. Cute.
Time for questioning, young lady.
- Come on.
- But Jzefina is underage.
So I think I should go with her.
Right.
"You'll have no way out."
Maybe it's an escape room?
This whole house is an escape room.
In the garage,
there was a crossed-out "exit" sign.
I thought it was one of Uncle's jokes,
but now?
- Wait...
- Listen...
Let's keep it quiet.
It's very kind, older brother,
that you care about your niece.
Especially since
you said her mother
was a potential suspect.
Why?
They're trying to unnerve you.
It's an old technique,
rarely used by local police officers.
- What are you implying?
- Only that you're highly skilled.
Considering your positions.
- Why don't you write about us?
- Why not?
But first, I'd need to know your ranks.
No. I was never a good student.
Ranks, not marks.
In the police, where we work.
Inspector Bednarski.
And this is Warrant Officer Gudejko.
What's wrong?
What?
What's going on?
- Inhaler.
- What?
- Inhaler.
- What?
In our room.
- In our room? What inhaler?
- My...
My inhaler in our room.
- Your inhaler in our room?
- Fuck, inhaler in our room.
- She needs mouth-to-mouth.
- I can't breathe...
- A pat?
- Okay, go.
But what?
Who called you
when I was being questioned?
And what about your husband?
- Dawid?
- Yeah.
- He wouldn't hurt a fly.
- Yeah?
He's never even been in a fight.
We arm-wrestled once, and I won.
I hoped he had let me win.
But he admitted that he hadn't.
You know, a real man
wouldn't have let you win.
I would crush you.
You know a kick to the balls
hurts more than childbirth?
I keep meeting women who say,
"I want another baby."
But I've never heard a guy say,
"Kick me in the balls again."
I love that joke.
It's Dawid's.
A lady from the bank.
You didn't answer?
What's up?
Is your breathing better?
We just wanted to make sure.
And pigs can fly.
Where are the kids?
- In the loo.
- Yeah, Natalia too.
Yeah.
- Let's wait. We have to go in together.
- Sure.
Go in where?
All right, I think that's all.
- Get that teenager here.
- My brother?
Her boyfriend.
Your pocket's vibrating.
It's a pager.
A pager?
It's hip. Pagers are back.
Didn't you hear?
No. That's an insulin pump.
Jzefina has diabetes and...
Mosey on over.
- Hello?
- Dworki police. We got disconnected.
Commissioner Thirdog can't come.
He's stuck in a snowdrift.
There's no need anymore.
I'm sorry, my kids
were playing with my phone.
Yes, thank you. I'll teach them a lesson.
Why did you say you were the police?
Technically speaking,
we didn't say we were.
The police are here.
You got here quickly, gentlemen.
I don't know what you've been told...
Please start from the beginning.
As if we don't know anything.
Okay. So...
We were surprised ourselves
to see you here.
And later that your uncle was dead.
And you decided to lay back,
let us play, and take over the patents.
Your uncle was working on something
that some people are very interested in.
It stopped snowing.
Damn, it stopped snowing.
Think, Henryk, think.
INVALID PASSWORD
I don't mean to brag,
but I've had great success
in a few Warsaw escape rooms.
It's true.
Perfect, then we're home free.
How long can someone pee?
Do they know where we are?
I was looking for you.
- But...
- Why are you panting?
I was running. For sport.
And the kids?
They're being questioned together,
so it goes faster.
The police said that if we don't finish
in an hour, they'll...
- What?
- Take us to the police station.
Great.
So what do we do?
Second stage is an escape room.
And who killed Kennedy?
We don't know.
Should I tell you?
WHY DID WHEEL OF TRUTH
DISAPPEAR OFF THE AIR?
"Why did Wheel of Truth
disappear off the air?"
"Wheel of Truth was taken off the air
when one of the contestants
tried to commit suicide
after losing in the final round."
7 POZIOMKOWA STREEJust like the cabin from our childhood.
Jesus, I remember.
We were so poor, we only had one book.
Mom used to read it to us very slowly.
You!
Yes, that's us! Hey, look!
Show me.
Right. I don't remember this at all.
Okay, Dawid. Let's get to work.
Yes.
Fifty-nine minutes.
- Want one?
- No, thanks.
Seriously, Dawid?
Why not?
You never know what could happen.
In The Question Mark, there was this...
- Dawid. Time.
- Time.
Where did you get that box?
The candies?
I got them from the kitchen counter.
Show them to the camera.
It's here!
It's here?
What's written there?
"Saturday."
Oh shoot.
Meaning what?
I forgot to hide it.
That was Mr. Wadysaw's special snack.
Special how? What's going on?
Wadysaw liked to experiment
with substances, psychoac...
- How many did you have?
- Like two, three.
Seven. I've eaten seven.
On Saturdays,
he was testing a truth serum.
Of his own design.
He took half a candy, sometimes one.
And after one candy, you'd be very frank.
But after seven,
it could turn you inside out.
- I ate one too.
- Jesus.
I also had one.
I didn't. I'm on a diet.
I didn't get a chance.
I ate one too.
What do you mean, turn inside out?
It will start working in a few minutes.
- Great.
- Well, that's a pickle.
- Right.
- Are you all right?
No. All right, listen up.
As long as we know we're in a trap,
we have a chance to escape!
- Look around. Look for clues. Quickly!
- But what?
- Escape where?
- What?
Maybe here?
Where are you going? Stop!
Don't move!
Excuse me.
I think we have a problem.
Here! I got it! The first hint!
"What shocked you?"
What? Us?
Yes! Look around.
The clue could be anywhere!
- The lamp.
- Jesus.
The lamp.
What?
The lamp!
Meaning what?
- Is it welded?
- What about the lamp?
- Karol.
- No. It's ketchup! Jesus.
Okay.
- It's okay.
- Water.
He'll be out
for a couple of minutes. Karol?
Right.
All right, we have to make a ladder.
Out of what?
Out of whom.
Gustaw.
Hold on. Wait.
Here.
Jesus.
Up.
Jesus.
Hey. Turn around.
My eye!
Dawidek, be careful.
Dawid.
Try not to touch me.
I'm trying.
Be careful!
Yes! I've got the first number!
- Six!
- Yes!
- Hold on!
- Dawid, be careful!
Dawid!
- Jump!
- No!
- Come on!
- No!
Did we win?
- Are we millionaires?
- Not yet.
How did you know about the lamp?
Events that "shocked" us.
When I was here as a kid
during summer holidays,
I mean in Uncle's old cabin,
I got badly electrocuted.
I was in the hospital for over a month.
Yeah, there was that.
Your turn.
What?
Well, what shocked you?
Think unconventionally!
I don't know what shocked me!
The floor is lava! Watch out, you'll melt!
How many did they take?
A lot.
Mr. Dawid took the most.
I love you.
Truthfulness is kicking in.
I have a small penis.
- Jeez!
- Jesus, Karol, again? No, you don't.
I don't? Then eat a candy and tell me.
We haven't had sex in two years.
Jesus, Dawid!
My hands are shining.
- Great.
- Dawid.
- Where's the kid?
- My hands!
Great.
The son.
No, seriously, look at this! So cool!
INVALID PASSWORD
"The password is very difficult."
FORTUNA
QUIE"I'm going to work."
"Take your sandwiches."
"With Nutella?"
"Just how you like them."
When we were little,
the local boys used to laugh
that he played house and not ball.
Back then, it actually seemed weird.
I've had two husbands.
I cheated on both.
But they don't make them
like Dawid anymore.
No, they don't.
Listen. I didn't get that grant.
- I mean, I did, but I didn't accept it.
- What?
I didn't want to leave you
for four months.
Yeah. Especially since these are
our last moments together.
I choose a question about the Kos family.
The category is tidbits.
- Are Dawid and Zosia splitting up?
- Dawid, no.
"Yes" is the correct answer.
The only question left is
when do we tell the children?
Sorry, kid.
I've known for a long time.
Do you have a flasher from Men in Black?
Can you flash my parents?
Tell them they love each other again?
It doesn't work that way, kid.
What do you think?
That I didn't see you staring at that cop?
What? Please.
He's some kind of Neanderthal.
He thinks a kick in the balls
hurts more than childbirth!
Idiot.
Sorry, kid.
- I guess he never had a vaginal tear.
- I guess not!
Turns out that the Wi-Fi password
really was very difficult.
But, on the other hand, it was very easy.
Explaining it is complicated,
but the password was very easy.
Too easy, in fact,
because it was "very difficult."
Where are you?
Never mind, you'll see.
Damn.
"The password is very difficult."
Kid?
"Very difficult."
- Yes!
- Hey!
Damn.
Stop messing around!
Come on!
Kid!
- Since we both can't lie right now...
- Yeah?
You're only with me for the money, right?
No.
I'm not with you for the money.
I know that you've recently had
some financial problems.
I love you.
Come here.
But I don't like your perfume.
Okay. Excuse me!
Since we can't lie, I didn't kill Uncle.
Neither did I.
Me neither.
- I didn't either.
- We didn't eat any candy, so...
The best liar you know
is not the best liar you know.
I hope the kids aren't worried over there.
They're not police. They don't know ranks
and have the wrong gun.
What?
I don't know who they are.
They took Jzka and told me to keep quiet.
The police will come after the blizzard.
That's why they gave us an hour.
After that, they'll...
They'll what?
Jesus!
Jzia! Henio! I'm coming for you!
Zidane!
Zidane!
- Dawid, darling.
- Are you okay?
Dawid!
Our song is in here.
- What's its number?
- Eleven.
Eleven?
The last number. I'll type in the code.
- Get up.
- Give me your hand.
Dawid! Oh Jesus!
- It worked!
- Yes!
- Look, you opened the door!
- Let's go.
The tablet.
Yes.
Gotta do everything myself.
I'm scared of you!
Are you okay?
Leave her alone!
Where's Henryk?
Gosh.
Hey, come here.
Dear family, congratulations
on passing another stage.
The game is slowly coming to an end,
so we're going to have to
crank up the difficulty level.
In order to start the final task,
you all must become one.
Did your lights go out too?
Oh jeez.
That door requires
a fingerprint to open it.
Whose?
I'll help.
- No!
- No!
I bet you're such a tough guy
that you even peel an egg with a knife!
You've got 15 minutes.
- I'm taking the kid. Watch them!
- Please, take me instead of him!
The more the merrier.
You can do it, Dad!
Possibly, but probably not!
And they'll kill us all!
- Is it still working?
- No. Yes.
I don't have fake tits!
I can lie now.
And turn.
- Let's go.
- Fuck me.
Up!
- Yes.
- Yes.
Here. Put him down.
And what's this for?
- There.
- Not really.
- No?
- Not working.
- Hold on.
- Put it on me.
We must become one.
We all have to link up.
Come on, they've got Henryk.
Put it on. Henio isn't here!
Put it on!
There.
Come on. Follow me.
Sorry, kid.
Aunt Ela.
This labyrinth is like our family tree.
Let's take the right.
No, hold on.
We passed Uncle Janusz before.
That would mean we should go this way.
Isn't it the same way?
- A few minutes left.
- What will you do to us?
You ever play Pac-Man?
We'll eat you.
- Slow down?
- No.
What's the time?
Six minutes.
Six minutes.
There.
This is
our aunt's younger brother, Uncle Albert.
Wrong way.
- This way.
- But...
- The one with the wart?
- It grew even bigger.
No, we've already been here.
- No.
- Three minutes!
So which way?
I wonder if our portraits are here.
Right.
We have to find ourselves.
- Don't listen to coaches.
- We've been going the wrong way.
- We have to find ourselves. Follow me.
- Wait!
You!
- There.
- Henio!
Give it to me.
Give back Heniek.
Or what?
Zidane!
- Come on.
- Let's run.
Take it easy.
Sorry, kid. I couldn't help myself.
But I have to admit,
you've got balls.
Help!
Game over.
Give me that.
First, give back Henryk.
We also have a weapon!
- Oh, I can lie again.
- Give it to me!
- Karol.
- One blow and I'll crush your trachea...
Karol!
Hey, you! Try me.
Bravo, Henryk!
You'll get that console after all.
Even two!
You're wicked clever, bro!
I exaggerated a bit.
But Henryk really did train judo
for six months.
And he really did try.
Zidane!
Leave him alone! Leave my husband alone!
Come here!
There's your childbirth.
Come here, darling.
Help!
I'm sorry. For...
Fucking.
Freezing.
Frost.
Well, Uncle liked surprises.
It has to be.
A tragic mistake.
An unintentional suicide.
A ready-made book, right?
Why don't you write a series
about Commissioner Thirdog?
When Two Dogs Fight Over A Bone,
Thirdog Runs Away With It?
- Uncle's PESEL?
- Third wheel.
- Yes, quickly. Good.
- Not that. This. Good.
But we need month and day.
It's 4th February.
Don't tell me you didn't know.
- Four is here.
- Four and two.
Oh dear.
Damn.
- That's it!
- What?
- Empty.
- There's nothing here.
Nothing!
- It's empty!
- No!
Quiet!
Welcome. Since the entire family's here.
I welcome you all on my behalf
and on behalf of Uncle Wadysaw.
You arrived here yesterday,
and I hope a lot has changed since then.
Congratulations on completing the game.
As for my patents, don't worry.
They're all safely recorded here.
And maybe somewhere else.
But I'll tell you all about it
in the evening, at dinner.
See you soon. Cheers, family!
Sooner or later,
the patents will be found.
And even though we don't have millions,
we have each other.
And in this situation,
I think that's the most important.
Texas Ranger.
But also, a bit like Zidane.
So, if everything is clear now,
what would you like to drink?
Uncle's surname was Fortuna,
and he called
his game show Wheel of Truth?
He got furious
whenever anyone pointed it out.
- Wait a sec.
- Are you coming?
- What, now?
- Hello.
You wanted to tell us something?
- Yes.
- I'll help.
Yes. You're both old enough
that we can tell you.
I'm pregnant.
You're going to have a little brother.
Look at their faces. No, I was joking.
But you were seeing a doctor?
Robert Doctor.
Doctor is our lawyer's surname.
But it's not important.
Thinking that parents
have it all figured out
is humanity's greatest lie.
Yes!
Look at this!
Listen up!
- An announcement. We're staying in Poland.
- That's right!
What is it? What's going on?
The towels.
You have the right to remain silent.
Anything you say...
Well, you know that by heart.
Me?
But I didn't kill anyone.
It was me.
- What?
- It was me.
- He's lying.
- He's not.
Under the influence, you said you didn't.
No, I hadn't eaten the candy.
But the other thing I said is true.
I really do love you, Natalia.
- I'm sorry.
- But why?
Now, focus.
To Natalia's joy, Gustaw wasn't with her
for her money.
But to her dismay, he was with her
because she was Uncle's family.
He couldn't reach him any other way,
since Uncle spent his entire life
in a backcountry guarded stronghold.
ATTENTION! LAND MINES
PROBABLY...
Back in 1990, Gustaw's grandma,
who raised him, was on Wheel of Truth.
Karol was right about Gustaw.
Uncle gave her a misleading hint.
At least, that's what Grandma claimed.
She lost, fell into depression,
and finally even tried to kill herself.
As a result, Gustaw was sent
to an orphanage and blamed Uncle for it.
Grandma!
Gustaw Romeo had been planning the murder
for a long time.
But he didn't predict
that he'd fall in love with Natalia.
He gave up on the plan.
He was relieved
when he found out Uncle was dead.
Oh fuck!
When they came for the reading of the will
and Uncle appeared,
Gustaw was speechless.
At night, when he went down
to have a drink of water, he met Uncle.
Who, as it turns out, knew from the start
who Gustaw really was,
since he had prepared for the game.
They began talking.
Everything was going well. But in the end...
- I forgive you.
- I forgive you.
What for?
Only for wanting to kill me.
And you, Romeo?
What do you forgive me for?
That you gave a misleading hint.
That's not true.
- It is true.
- No.
Just admit that you made a mistake.
I can't.
Say it.
I can't lie to you.
The correct answer was Greenland,
and I showed Katarzyna...
- Don't you say her name!
- I wanted to show Katarzyna...
During their talk, Uncle was
under the influence of his truth candies.
He was trying to tell Gustaw
that he literally can't lie to him.
Maybe that's why he admitted to him
that he knew
Gustaw's true name and who he was.
I didn't mean to kill him.
I thought that since he had
that bulletproof shirt on, then, well,
I'd just stab him a few times.
As part of therapy?
I didn't know he put on a regular shirt.
They look identical.
And when I stabbed him for the first time,
and the blood appeared,
I don't know which one of us
was more surprised.
I'm sorry.
How did you know it was me?
It's all thanks to Heniek.
When he found that article
with a photo of the participant's family,
the caption read,
"Mrs. Katarzyna with grandson Romeo."
A rare name.
This morning, he found
the last piece of the puzzle.
Remember? Gustaw Romeo
entered the kitchen and asked...
He had a normal shirt and stabbed himself?
He spoke too soon.
He said it before he saw the body.
How could he have known how Uncle died?
But it was still just a theory.
That's why I called the police,
and they asked me not to tell anybody.
- So I only told Dad.
- We didn't have any evidence.
The only option was to bluff
and check if you really love Natalia
enough to keep her out of jail.
Did everything during that weekend
happen exactly as I told you?
I don't know. Remember, I was pretty high.
But it's my version,
and I'm sticking to it.
That weekend changed a lot
in all of our lives.
There's the best man. We can begin.
Natalia's already writing a book
about the events in Uncle's mansion.
The Old Man and the Sickle.
Were you bored?
So far, despite searching,
no one has been able to find the patents.
The Karols became totally obsessed
with Wadysaw,
a six-month-old Akita.
That's what Karol bought in Thailand.
Phew.
And the butler?
Uncle had been paying him so well,
for shooting at him and so on,
that he was able to buy the mansion.
He still lives there.
He has his own butler, but still cleans
and waters the plants himself.
And us? We still don't have a balcony.
But Jzka is more chill,
and Heniek wants to be a detective.
And things with Zosia are better.
We've started going to a Casino.
Jakub Casino, a couples' therapist.
What won't people do for money, huh?
A better question is,
what won't people do for their family?
As for money, it's like I said.
We don't have it, and we're happy.
THE END
PROBABLY...
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome
to another episode of Wheel of Truth.
My name is Wadysaw Fortuna.
Here are our prizes.
A mini motorbike, a car,
and our main prize,
a check for one billion zlotys.
Mrs. Katarzyna came to us from Bydgoszcz.
- Yes.
- Alone?
With my grandson.
There's one question left.
If you make a mistake,
you lose everything.
What is the name
of the biggest island in the world?
Hold on. You know.
It's...
The Bowtie Island?
I'm sorry.
The correct answer is Greenland.
No!
But...
Thank you for tuning in today.
And see you next week.
Subtitle translation by:
Katarzyna Bachnio-Sitkiewicz