Janet Planet (2023) Movie Script
1
(CRICKETS CHIRPING)
(CRICKETS CONTINUE CHIRPING)
GIRL: Lacy.
Hi.
I'm gonna kill myself.
I said I'm gonna kill myself
if you don't come get me.
MAN: He said to me
-(GUITAR PLAYING)
-GIRLS: He said to me
MAN: Don't take a sip
GIRLS: Don't take a sip
For if you do
For if you do
I'll surely slip
I'll surely slip
He said to me,
don't take a sip
For if you do,
I'll surely slip
-I took a sip
-I took a sip
-And he went down
-And he went down
-Down to my belly
-Down to my belly
-He might have drowned
-He might have drowned
I took a sip
and he went down
Into my belly,
he might have drowned
LACY: It was
a motorcycle accident.
I'm so sorry, Lacy.
LACY: It's really sad.
But he and I
aren't very close.
I hope your stepdad
gets better.
LACY: He's actually
just her boyfriend.
You can have this one.
That's so nice.
I don't wanna go.
GIRL: Is that your mom?
-LACY: Yeah.
-GIRL: Can we meet her?
LACY: Mm, I don't think
that's a good idea.
Why is Wayne here?
I'm not gonna kick Wayne out
because you decided
to come home from camp.
I wanna stay.
I've changed my mind.
You can't do that.
I thought nobody liked me,
but I was wrong.
This is a bad pattern.
And I've already
convinced them
to give me part
of my deposit back.
(MIRACLE MAN BY BOB CARPENTER
PLAYING ON STEREO)
Up on the river
Along with the miracle man
that I am
With true found lovers
And true found brothers
of man in the plan
I don't know what I did
But I did and I am, I am
I don't know where you go
when you're sad
But I ride, ride, ride
Everything lies inside
Leave all your cares
and troubles behind
I don't care
what you've got to hide
Yes, ride, ride, ride
Roll out the train
for the liberty line
You'll be giving me yours
I'll be giving you mine
I don't care
what you've been denied
(MUSIC STOPS)
(MECHANICAL WINDING)
(W.A. MOZART'S LACRIMOSA
PLAYING ON MUSIC BOX)
(MUSIC ENDS)
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
LACY: Where did you grow up?
WAYNE: South Carolina.
(CRICKETS CHIRPING)
I don't wanna fall asleep.
LACY: Five more minutes?
Wayne thinks it's weird
we still sleep together.
Can I have a piece of you?
What do you mean,
a piece of me?
A little piece of you
to sleep with.
Thanks.
(WHISPERS) Welcome home.
(KISSES)
(INSECTS CHIRPING)
(GENTLE SNORING)
(PRACTICING SHINICHI SUZUKI'S
FRENCH CHILDREN'S SONG)
(STOPS PLAYING)
(LAWNMOWER WHIRRING)
(PLEASANT MUSIC PLAYING
ON SPEAKERS)
LACY: Is that your daughter?
Say "uthag" after anything
that isn't A, E, I or O or U.
-After a consonant?
-Yes.
But if it's A, E, I, O, U,
you say it before.
Before what?
Uthagi duthago nuthagot
knothagow.
What does that mean?
Uthagits uthaga
suthagecruthaget.
(DELIGHTFUL INSTRUMENTAL
MUSIC PLAYING)
(INAUDIBLE CONVERSATION)
(DELIGHTFUL INSTRUMENTAL
MUSIC CONTINUES)
"Jondalar relaxed
beside Noria.
"After a while, she sat up
and looked at him
"with glowing lang..."
"Languorous."
"...languorous eyes.
"'Jondalar, man,
Noria, woman,' she said,
"as though she truly felt
she was a woman now
"and leaned over to kiss him."
(CAR ENGINE HUMMING)
(PARKING BRAKE ENGAGES)
(ENGINE SWITCHES OFF)
Suthagee yuthagou
luthagatuthager.
Guthagoodbuthagye.
MOTHER: So nice meeting you.
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
I like Sequoia.
That's good.
I like Sequoia, too.
I'd like to be friends
with her.
I usually have a hard time
making friends.
Why doesn't she live with you
some of the time?
Do you have any other kids?
Wayne has a wonderful son
named Eric.
He's 20.
Where does he live?
Iraq. And California.
(BIRDS CALLING)
Eyes up here.
Very good.
You're ready to concentrate.
-(CLAPPING RHYTHMICALLY)
-Mississippi hot dog.
Mississippi hot dog.
Mississippi hot dog.
Mississippi hot dog.
Mississippi hot dog.
Mississippi hot dog.
(PLAYING FRENCH CHILDREN'S
SONG BY SHINICHI SUZUKI)
Better.
You're using the fat part
of your thumb.
You need to stay
right on the edge.
This little man...
should be kissing the keys.
(INSECTS CHIRPING)
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
Something's wrong with Wayne.
(CRICKETS CHIRPING)
(WAYNE MOANING SOFTLY)
(WAYNE BREATHING DEEPLY)
(WIND CHIMES TINKLING)
(WAYNE MOANS SOFTLY)
(CONTINUES BREATHING DEEPLY)
(SWITCH CLICKS)
-(SWITCH CLICKS)
-(KETTLE WHISTLING)
MOTHER: Wayne has a migraine.
I think you should
go back to bed.
What's a migraine?
A really bad headache.
LACY: You had a headache
yesterday.
MOTHER: Yes.
He thinks maybe
I transferred it to him.
It's too hot for tea.
WAYNE: Turn off the light.
What's she doing here?
MOTHER: Lacy, go back to bed.
WAYNE: Close the door.
(DOOR CREAKS)
LACY: Why doesn't Sequoia live
with you part of the time?
WAYNE: Please get her
out of here.
MOTHER: Lacy, leave.
WAYNE: Is she still here?
I need quiet.
I need to be alone.
(WHISPERING)
My head is splitting open.
Do you know what
a migraine feels like?
LACY: What does it feel like?
WAYNE: Please
get her out of here.
I can't listen to her voice
right now.
LACY: But I'm not trying
to talk to you.
MOTHER: Lacy, get out!
LACY: I'm not trying
to talk to you!
I'm not trying to talk to you!
MOTHER: Get out!
LACY: I wasn't
saying anything!
I wasn't talking to you!
-(MOTHER GRUNTS)
-(DOOR BANGS)
(CRICKETS CHIRPING)
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
MOTHER: So what do I do?
LACY: You want me
to tell you what to do?
MOTHER: Yes.
I think you have
to break up with him.
(PRACTICING SHINICHI SUZUKI'S
ALLEGRETTO I ON KEYBOARD)
(FINISHES PLAYING)
I'm done with Book One.
Congratulations, honey.
(CRICKETS CHIRPING)
LACY: Can I hold your hand?
It's kind of hard for me
to fall asleep
when we're holding hands.
How about for a minute?
(BREATHES DEEPLY)
You know what's funny?
What?
Every moment of my life
is hell.
I don't like it
when you say things like that.
But it is.
You actually seem very happy
to me a lot of the time.
(SIGHS DEEPLY)
It's hell. I don't think
it'll last, though.
I'm actually
pretty unhappy, too.
(SIGHS DEEPLY)
(DISTANT INDISTINCT NOISE)
(MAN LAUGHS)
MAN: Hey.
MOTHER: (WHISPERS)
Don't turn on the light.
(LACY SIGHS)
LACY: (WHISPERS)
The worst part of this for me
is that I really wanted
to see Sequoia again.
(BELL JINGLING)
(FLUTE MUSIC PLAYING)
(WELCOMING BELL
CONTINUES JINGLING)
(FLUTE MUSIC CONTINUES)
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
(CABASA RATTLING)
(GENTLE DRUMMING)
(CLARINET PLAYING NOTE)
(BAND PLAYING
PERPLEXING MUSIC)
(PERPLEXING MUSIC CONTINUES)
(PEOPLE LAUGHING)
(SINGING IN OTHER LANGUAGE)
I know her.
(SINGING CONTINUES)
(PERCUSSIVE ACCOMPANIMENPLAYING)
(VOCALIZING)
(CONTINUES VOCALIZING)
(BAND PLAYING
WHIMSICAL JAZZ MUSIC)
MAN: What experience
has made you
Everything is a door.
What experience
has made you suffer most?
(MAN CONTINUES SINGING
IN TANDEM)
If to drink tastes bitter,
become wine.
MAN: Become wine
Let the magic powers
of this night's excess...
MAN: Magic powers
...at the crossroads
of your senses,
give meaning
to this strange encounter.
MAN: Crossroads
of your senses
When the world
has long forgotten you,
to the silent earth, say...
MAN: Encounter
WOMAN: "I am flowing.
"I am flowing.
"I am flowing!"
To the rushing waters, speak:
"I am.
"I am!
-"I... am."
-(MUSIC ENDS)
Something
is about to happen.
(BAND PLAYING UPBEAT MUSIC)
(APPLAUSE)
(CROWD CHEERING)
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
(BAND PLAYING PEPPY MUSIC)
Well, a number of you
have asked me
why we call
what we did tonight
a service
and not a performance.
Well, um...
We think of our work
as a funeral
and also as a celebration.
We're in service for you,
and with you,
to collectively process
and mourn
our nihilistic, materialistic,
dead and asleep culture.
And we're here to celebrate
radical, impersonal love.
Because that's the deepest
source of political
and spiritual resistance.
-Right?
-WOMAN: Yes.
MAN 1: Don't forget...
MAN 2: What about the table?
-Tell them about the table.
-Oh. Yeah.
We also want you to leave with
some really good zucchini.
(LAUGHTER)
We grew too much of it
over the summer
and we're trying
to get rid of it.
So, it's on the picnic table
on your way out.
So, uh, leave a donation or...
Please, just take a zucchini.
(LAUGHTER)
(BAND PLAYING CHEERFUL MUSIC)
(GROUP SINGING INDISTINCTLY)
(LIVELY CHATTERING)
She was in a relationship
with Avi.
The guy with the beard?
Then she broke things off
with him, but he...
Well, I wouldn't go so far
as to call it a cult,
and Regina insists it isn't,
and they're actually
really wonderful...
What's a cult?
MOTHER: Mm...
(SNICKERS) Good question.
A group of people
who all gather around
and maybe worship someone,
like he's a religious figure
or something.
And they usually
all live together.
And you know these people do
all live together at the farm.
And he's slept
with a lot of...
Hold on, what is that?
Oh, fuck. Oh, my God.
What is it?
MOTHER: I need
to find my tweezers.
LACY: (SHOUTS) What is it?
(GRUNTS)
It's still alive.
Die, tick, die.
-(DOOR CLACKS)
-(SOFT FOOTSTEPS)
(MUFFLED INDISTINCT CHATTER)
(CHATTER CONTINUES)
(SWITCH CLICKS)
How long were you and Will
together?
-Three years.
-Oh, wow.
And where does he live now?
He moved to New Mexico to be
closer to his grandchildren.
-Grandchildren?
-I know.
And when did you get
your license?
Mm... five...
no, yeah,
four-and-a-half years ago.
-Will you do some work on me?
-Of course.
I can't pay you.
You're not paying me.
And you're not paying
for the room, either.
You're a beautiful person,
Janet. You really are.
Do you remember meeting me
when you were two years old?
JANET: I don't think
it's possible
for her to remember that.
You seem familiar.
See?
Lacy, how do you feel
about me staying here?
Is that all right with you?
It's okay with me if we go
on some adventures.
Lacy's always talking about
how we don't go
on enough adventures.
I'll take you
on some adventures.
It's hard when there's a
five-year gap on your resume.
But I actually do have a lot
of waitressing experience.
LACY: You were an actress
for five years.
D'Angelo's doesn't care
about that.
My mom had
a lot of different jobs
before she got
her acupuncture license.
Yeah, but do you know
your mom got $30,000
from your grandfather
when he died?
That's how she could
go back to school.
Do you want kids?
Probably not.
Do lots of people
fall in love with you?
Why do you say that?
Mm, lots of people
fall in love with my mom.
Well, your mom is fantastic.
But she also has
terrible taste in men.
Yeah.
-You think so, too?
-Yeah.
The guy she just broke up with
sounds awful.
Yeah.
He was okay.
(REGINA SIGHS)
Someone lit himself
on fire here.
Wait, where?
On the town common.
Why'd he light himself
on fire?
He was against the war.
That always
makes me think about
-spontaneous combustion.
-What's that?
It's like where you, like,
explode or disappear
or catch on fire,
but there's no explanation.
Let's go to the ice-cream shop
-and then go home.
-Okay.
Wouldn't you rather be
hanging out with your friends?
I don't have any friends.
-Why?
-I don't know.
It's a complete mystery to me.
(SCHUMANN'S PIANO QUINTET IN
E-FLAT MAJOR PLAYS ON RADIO)
(OVEN HUMMING)
(SNIFFS)
(EXHALES)
(SNIFFS)
(EXHALES)
(MY EYES BY LAURIE ANDERSON
PLAYING IN OTHER ROOM)
If I were the president
If I were queen for a day
I'd give the ugly people
All the money
I'd rewrite
the Book of Love
I'd make it funny
I got a job.
Wheel of fortune
WOMAN ON TV:
...there is an evolution here,
and that we are
a part of the evolution.
And the self of woman
that is articulated now
and conceptualized,
and the possible life patterns
of women taking
our own experience
seriously...
(PHONE RINGING)
Don't answer it.
And what if it's someone
calling for us?
They can leave a message.
WOMAN ON TV: ...sharing
our experience here,
in forums like this,
when it isn't that...
What do you think he wants?
Avi is ultimately harmless.
He just wants me to come back.
What if you talked to him?
I don't want to talk to him.
WOMAN ON TV:
...seem to us as serious
as the problems
that we started out with.
But they must be met
and articulated
and we must be tuning it in,
tuning our rhetoric in
for life.
Do I need this much?
This is nothing.
You could take three times
this much and be fine.
You could take five times
this much and be fine.
WOMAN: ... then we are
on the right political track.
If it doesn't open lines,
if it isn't true to our own...
It's to help sleep tonight.
WOMAN: ...then we have to go
back to the drawing board.
And this is
what we must do now
because Erin Kaplan is right.
It is fragile, our victory.
It is fragile,
the basic covenant
that we could move from here
and that our daughters...
Well, the short version is,
when I was 15,
Mum died
and I moved in with my dad.
And things were going well,
I mean, relatively speaking,
I made some new friends
and I started hanging out
with these older kids.
I guess one of them was 19,
or 20, maybe.
And then someone sent my dad
an anonymous letter.
It said something like...
I mean, I read it at the time.
It said something like...
"Your daughter is, you know,
"hanging out with bad
characters and doing drugs,
"and you should do
something about it."
And this letter
was the beginning
of the two worst years
of my life.
You already know this part.
It was the reason
they sent me to Ireland
to live with my grandparents,
which is, of course, when
I had my nervous breakdown.
Anyway, two years ago,
which is, what,
almost 30 years later,
I'm visiting my dad
for Christmas
and I'm having coffee with
one of my old best friends.
And we stop in
to see her mother.
And when we're all saying
goodbye, she starts crying,
I mean, my friend's mother
starts crying.
And we say, "What, what?"
And she says,
"I'm the one...
"who sent the anonymous
letter, it was me."
And she's sobbing.
And she says,
"I see now it was a mistake."
And I was... I mean,
I just moved to Massachusetts,
and I'd just met Avi,
and I was in such a good place
in my life
for the first time
in a long time.
And I said, you know,
"Estelle," and I was bubbling
over with forgiveness.
And I hugged her
for a long time,
but she wouldn't stop crying.
And then that night, I got
back to my dad's house,
and I said, "Hey, Dad,
I just saw Jackie's mother
"for the first time
in decades,
"remember Estelle?"
And he says, "Yeah."
And I say, "Well, it turns out
she's the one who sent
"the anonymous letter
about me 30 years ago."
And Dad says, "What letter?"
Erm... no.
Yeah?
No, we never had any dogs
and we never had any cats.
It was just me and
my Holocaust-survivor dad
and my angry mom.
And then finally, one day,
after I'd begged
and begged them for a pet,
they got me a dove.
REGINA: A dove?
Mm-hmm. They got me a dove
and I named her Susan.
(ROUND AND ROUND BY LIBANA
PLAYING ON STEREO)
Round and round
the earth is turning
Turning always
'round to morning
And from morning
'round to night
I think I know
what it feels like
to be a baby in the womb.
I just got in touch with it.
What's it like?
It's wet...
and warm...
and wooshy.
(JANET BREATHES DEEPLY)
It's really good.
(ROUND AND ROUND CONTINUES
PLAYING ON STEREO)
There's no language for it.
No thinking
and no language.
What are we
even talking about...
when we talk about mothers?
What are we even
talking about?
Look, there's making
bad decisions.
Choosing the wrong person.
(EVER NEW BY BEVERLY GLENN-
COPELAND PLAYING ON STEREO)
But then there's also
worrying all the time
that you're making
bad decisions
and not trusting yourself.
So, you develop an identity.
You develop an identity
as an untrustworthy person.
Untrustworthy to yourself.
And so that...
I mean,
once you're in that pattern,
that's how you make
bad decisions.
Because then you think...
When you have an instinct
about something, you think...
"Oh, I can't trust my instinct
because I'm the one...
"I'm the person
who makes bad decisions here."
REGINA: So, then you make
a bad decision.
But even the word "bad."
But even the word
"bad."
What is that word?
Why do we say that word
to ourselves?
I would never say that
to one of my patients.
That's my...
That's my narrative
of myself, but...
who's to say?
Who's to say but me
whether it's a bad decision?
Yeah.
But objectively,
you do make bad decisions.
Well, who knows?
Well, you know.
I mean, I know.
We know when we know.
But I'm saying maybe we don't.
Yeah, yeah.
Okay.
Okay.
(INHALES)
Okay, but...
also,
and I mean this with love...
don't kid yourself, Janet.
I mean...
-you know.
-(EVER NEW CONTINUES PLAYING)
The summer blooming flower
Welcome the child
whose hand I hold
I think I might be dehydrated.
You should sit down.
Lacy, can you get some water?
(BREATHES DEEPLY)
Yeah, I don't know.
I think I was...
I think I was onto something
and you stepped on my toe.
Stepped on your toe?
Or however you say it.
Interrupted me.
No, no, no.
Oh, I didn't mean
to do that. I...
Yeah, but
that's what happened.
I was onto something and I was
being kind to myself for once,
and you stepped on my toe.
Huh.
Okay.
(CHUCKLES LIGHTLY)
That's not...
I actually felt
filled with love for you
in that moment.
That's what filled with love
looks like?
That's what it's like
when you're filled with love?
I was, like,
yes, you're onto something.
You do make bad decisions
sometimes,
but you're facing up to it.
But you don't know me.
You haven't seen me for years.
We're friends.
You gave away
all of your money.
You can't pay a month's rent.
I've worked
really, really hard.
I know you have.
I've changed my life.
(EVER NEW CONTINUES PLAYING)
(KNOCKING AT DOOR)
Hi.
REGINA: Are you gonna be
in there much longer?
No, I'm getting off.
REGINA: You've been in there
for 45 minutes.
Also, Lacy?
LACY: Yes?
REGINA: I don't
wanna sound rude,
but can you stop
using my shampoo?
(TOILET FLUSHES)
I didn't use your shampoo.
Also, why do you smear your
hair all over the shower wall?
I don't.
I forgot to wash my hands!
Use the kitchen sink.
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
(DON'T TREAT ME BAD BY
FIREHOUSE PLAYING ON SPEAKERS)
(PEOPLE CHATTERING)
Well, this could be
the best thing
That you'll ever have
Baby, don't treat me bad
You can do anything,
but, baby
Don't treat me bad
Oh, don't treat me bad
I gave everything
But you threw it all away
I can't take anymore
Of these games
that you play
Oh, I've been
through heartache
And I've been through pain
And it's hard to believe
You still treat me
this way
But I won't cry no more
'Cause the tears
are all in vain
(LOVE OF A LIFETIME BY
FIREHOUSE PLAYS ON SPEAKERS)
I finally found the love
of a lifetime
A love to last
my whole life through
I finally found
the love of a lifetime
Forever in my heart
I finally found
the love of a lifetime
-(INSECTS CHIRRING)
-(ANIMAL CALLING IN DISTANCE)
JANET: Are you okay?
LACY: What do you mean?
You're covered in something.
It's just ice cream.
Lacy, this is
Regina's friend, Avi.
He just stopped by
to say hello.
Great to meet you.
I saw you in the play.
JANET: He directed it, too.
Did you like it?
She loved it.
So, what do you do
for fun, Lacy?
I have a piano lesson
in five minutes.
Fantastic.
(TICKING)
(PIANO PLAYING IN OTHER ROOM)
(CLOCK CHIMING)
(CLOCK STRIKING 5 O'CLOCK)
(PLAYING SHINICHI SUZUKI'S
GOODBYE TO WINTER)
I can tell
you really practiced.
I actually didn't practice
very much this week at all.
(INSECTS CHIRPING)
(INAUDIBLE CONVERSATION)
(FOOTSTEPS RUNNING
DOWN STAIRS)
I don't know. He showed up
and he was friendly,
and he asked if he could
tell me about
what happened between them.
What happened between them?
We didn't end up talking
that much about it.
It really surprised me
how nice he was.
I thought he'd be
a narcissistic,
artist type of guy.
He asked a lot of questions.
Would you be disappointed
if, one day, I dated a girl?
No, I wouldn't be
disappointed at all.
I'd be very happy for you.
I've always wondered
if you might turn out
to be a lesbian.
I didn't say I was a lesbian.
I know, I know.
Don't get mad at me.
I just said I wondered.
Why?
Because you have a kind of...
a forthrightness.
(EXHALES)
You have a kind
of aggressive quality.
It sounds like a criticism
and I don't mean it as one.
I've just always worried...
I've just always wondered
how that would work
with a man.
I've wondered
if it might be easier
for you to be with a woman.
Men like you.
(BREATHES DEEPLY)
What?
I know I'm not that beautiful.
But I've...
always had this knowledge...
and I don't even know
if it's true,
but I've always
had this knowledge...
deep inside of me that I could
make any man fall in love
with me if I really tried.
And I think maybe
it's ruined my life.
I've never actually said that
out loud before.
I guess it sounds kinda silly.
Can you stop?
Stop what?
Stop trying.
(CAR ENGINE HUMMING)
(DOOR CLOSES)
(BACH'S SYMPHONIE CONCERTANTE
IN F MAJOR PLAYING ON RADIO)
Good news.
You're in Mr. Mac's class.
He's supposed to be
the nice one, right?
(SIGHS) Phew.
You glad?
(KNOCK AT DOOR)
So,
we're in agreement that
before the universe existed,
there was nothing, right?
Are the two of you
in agreement with me?
Theoretically?
There was nothing,
and out of nothing
came something.
I mean, we're... we're talking
about the Big Bang.
There was nothing, and out
of nothing came something.
Right? Okay.
So, out of nothing
came something.
There was just God or...
or Brahmin or whatever
you want to call him.
There was God and the state
of nothing ever happening
for an infinity of time...
well, of no time,
'cause time didn't exist.
Imagine you're God, okay?
And you are God, by the way.
I know you don't think
you are, but you are.
And just imagine you've been
doing nothing forever.
And then imagine the thought
crosses your mind that,
"You know,
maybe I should do something."
And then
another billion years go by.
And then, "Hmm,
"maybe I should do something.
"Nah, I'm gonna go back
to doing nothing."
Pfft.
Once you have that thought,
God,
once you have that thought,
it's hard to let go of, right?
It's hard to let go of that...
that impulse.
Maybe I will. Maybe I won't.
But you do.
Okay, so
you create the universe.
Bang. Everything changes
in an instant.
And millions of years later,
you get human consciousness.
Now, are you both
still with me so far?
All right.
Every Buddhist scripture
says...
And I know that you know this.
Every Buddhist scripture says
there's only one I, right?
That's the first thing
we learn.
I may look like a man,
and you may look
like a woman, but...
we're all the same.
We're all one.
So, if there's only one I,
which we acknowledge to be
a spiritual truth,
then you...
you created the universe.
You made that decision.
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
JANET: He said I can
come up with it myself.
I had a good one last night,
but now I forget it.
It has to do with truth
before ego.
Truth before the desire
to be liked,
which is a very female thing.
LACY: What is?
JANET: The desire to be liked.
My own liberation
depends on my ability
to put truth before
the desire to be liked.
My own liberation
depends on my ability
to put truth before
the desire to be loved.
My own liberation
depends on my ability
to put truth before ego.
My own liberation
depends on my willingness
to put truth
before my own self-image.
My own liberation
depends on my willingness
to see truth beyond
my own self-image.
My own liberation
depends on my willingness
to see truth
beyond my own self-image.
Something like that.
And then
you can do prostrations.
(EXHALES HEAVILY)
My own willingness...
My own liberation
depends on my willingness
to see truth
beyond my own self-image.
My own liberation
depends on my willingness
to see truth
beyond my own self-image.
My own liberation
depends on my willingness
to see truth
beyond my own self-image.
(JANET EXHALES)
It's really starting
to smell like fall.
I think it's my favorite smell
in the whole world.
(VEHICLE APPROACHING)
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
She says she can't think
because of the headache.
And my face is numb.
And her face is numb.
It was her first day
of sixth grade today,
and I think
she was really nervous.
I'm gonna throw up.
The headache's
gonna make me throw up.
You wanna use the bathroom?
Mm-hmm.
(SPITS)
He said you can go
on antibiotics,
in case it's some kind
of infection.
But, you know,
I hate antibiotics.
What do you want to do?
LACY: I don't want to go
on antibiotics.
JANET: You scared
about middle school?
Yes, but that's not
why I'm sick.
( CLARISSA EXPLAINS IT ALL
MAIN THEME PLAYING ON TV)
Na, na, na, na, na
All right, all right
Na, na, na, na, na
Na, na, na, na, na
Hey, cool
Na, na, na, na, na
Na, na, na, na, na
All right, all right
Na, na, na, na, na
Na, na, na, na, na
Hey, cool
Na, na, na, na, na
(CRICKETS CHIRPING)
(VEHICLE APPROACHING)
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)
Sweetie, I'm gonna have
to ask you to go inside,
otherwise my clients
will see you and get worried.
-(WIND CHIMES TINKLING)
-(INSECTS CHIRRING)
(FLOOR CREAKING
UNDER FOOTSTEPS)
Are you still throwing up?
I picked up the antibiotics.
I think maybe
you should take them.
Why?
In case you have
a bacterial thing.
But we hate antibiotics.
Well,
it's your decision.
I'm leaving the bag
on the counter.
How would you feel
about me meeting up
with Avi for a walk?
When?
He wants to have
a picnic dinner.
You're invited, of course.
If you're not feeling
well enough,
I'll leave out some of those
frozen blintzes you love.
Without the fruit.
Yeah, without the fruit.
(MICROWAVE BEEPS)
(MICROWAVE WHIRRING)
(MICROWAVE BEEPING)
(WHIRRING STOPS)
(INSECTS CHIRPING)
JANET: I thought that part
would get easier
as I got older, but it's
pretty much stayed the same.
The guilt, but also...
sometimes I feel like
she's watching me.
AVI: When you're not with her?
JANET: Yeah.
(WINDING MUSIC BOX)
(W.A. MOZART'S LACRIMOSA
PLAYING ON MUSIC BOX)
(MUSIC ENDS)
(CRICKETS CHIRPING)
"And you, my parents,
am I not right?
"You who loved me
"for that small beginning
of my love for you,
"from which I always
shyly turned away,
"because the distance in
your features grew, changed,
"even while I loved it,
into cosmic space
"where you no longer were.
"And when I feel inclined to
wait before the puppet stage,
"no, rather to stare at it
so intensely that in the end,
"to counter-balance
my searching gaze,
"an angel has to come
as an actor
"and begin manipulating
the lifeless bodies
"of the puppets to perform.
"Angel and puppet!
"Now at last there is a play.
"Then what we separate
can come together
"by our very presence.
"And only then the entire
cycle of our own life-seasons
"is revealed
and set in motion."
It's... It's part
of a much longer poem.
Will you read it again?
I spaced out for a second
in the middle.
I really like you, Janet.
I really like you.
Read it again.
"And you, my parents,
am I not right?
"You who loved me
"for that small beginning
of my love for you,
"from which I always
shyly turned away,
"because the distance in
your features grew, changed,
"even while I loved it,
into cosmic space
"where you no longer were.
"And when I feel inclined to
wait before the puppet stage,
"no, rather to stare at it
so intensely that in the end,
"to counter-balance
my searching gaze,
"an angel has to come
as an actor
"and begin manipulating
the lifeless..."
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
(INSECTS CHIRPING)
(CAR DOOR OPENS)
(LEOPOLD MOZART'S TOY SYMPHONY
PLAYING ON STEREO)
(MILK POURS)
(PILLS RATTLE)
(INSECTS CHIRRING)
(VEHICLE APPROACHING)
(GIRLS LAUGHING)
(BUS DRIVING AWAY)
(CRICKETS CHIRPING)
(MUFFLED MUSIC PLAYING)
I'm so glad you came.
I'm a terrible dancer.
It's not really
about being good or bad.
It's just a great way
to meet people.
Are you gonna contra dance,
Lacy?
JANET: Lacy has made it
very clear to me
that she is not going
to contra dance.
(PLAYING FOLK DANCE MUSIC)
(SINGSONG)
Circle to the left,
two circle lefts.
And back to the right,
circle right, right, rights.
Now the ones with the twos.
It's lady 'round lady
and the gent around gent
and swing in the middle
of the sentence.
Now, men center,
go four by four.
Back on up.
Ones arch, twos dive through.
On to the next
for the figure eight.
Box the gnat.
Circle to the left.
Now back to the right,
circle right, right, rights.
New ladies!
There's your partner.
MAN: Hi.
Hi.
CALLER: Gentlemen, left hands.
Long line to the middle.
Go once and a half.
Now box the gnat.
Find your partner.
Balance here.
You okay?
Yeah.
I'm here with my mom.
MAN: You wanna dance?
(FOLK DANCE MUSIC
CONTINUES PLAYING)
You sure?
(FOLK DANCE MUSIC
CONTINUES PLAYING)
(MUSIC ENDS)
Round and round
the earth is turning
Turning always
'round to morning
And from morning
'round to night
Round and round
the earth is turning
Turning always
'round to morning
And from morning
'round to night
Round and round
the earth is turning
Turning always
'round to morning
And from morning
'round to night
Round and round
the earth is turning
Turning always
'round to morning
And from morning
'round to night
Round and round
the earth is turning
Turning always
'round to morning
And from morning
'round to night
Round and round
the earth is turning
Turning always
'round to morning
And from morning
'round to night
Turning always
'round to morning
And from morning
'round to night
(RUSSIAN LULLABY
BY LIBANA PLAYING)
(CRICKETS CHIRPING)
(CRICKETS CONTINUE CHIRPING)
GIRL: Lacy.
Hi.
I'm gonna kill myself.
I said I'm gonna kill myself
if you don't come get me.
MAN: He said to me
-(GUITAR PLAYING)
-GIRLS: He said to me
MAN: Don't take a sip
GIRLS: Don't take a sip
For if you do
For if you do
I'll surely slip
I'll surely slip
He said to me,
don't take a sip
For if you do,
I'll surely slip
-I took a sip
-I took a sip
-And he went down
-And he went down
-Down to my belly
-Down to my belly
-He might have drowned
-He might have drowned
I took a sip
and he went down
Into my belly,
he might have drowned
LACY: It was
a motorcycle accident.
I'm so sorry, Lacy.
LACY: It's really sad.
But he and I
aren't very close.
I hope your stepdad
gets better.
LACY: He's actually
just her boyfriend.
You can have this one.
That's so nice.
I don't wanna go.
GIRL: Is that your mom?
-LACY: Yeah.
-GIRL: Can we meet her?
LACY: Mm, I don't think
that's a good idea.
Why is Wayne here?
I'm not gonna kick Wayne out
because you decided
to come home from camp.
I wanna stay.
I've changed my mind.
You can't do that.
I thought nobody liked me,
but I was wrong.
This is a bad pattern.
And I've already
convinced them
to give me part
of my deposit back.
(MIRACLE MAN BY BOB CARPENTER
PLAYING ON STEREO)
Up on the river
Along with the miracle man
that I am
With true found lovers
And true found brothers
of man in the plan
I don't know what I did
But I did and I am, I am
I don't know where you go
when you're sad
But I ride, ride, ride
Everything lies inside
Leave all your cares
and troubles behind
I don't care
what you've got to hide
Yes, ride, ride, ride
Roll out the train
for the liberty line
You'll be giving me yours
I'll be giving you mine
I don't care
what you've been denied
(MUSIC STOPS)
(MECHANICAL WINDING)
(W.A. MOZART'S LACRIMOSA
PLAYING ON MUSIC BOX)
(MUSIC ENDS)
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
LACY: Where did you grow up?
WAYNE: South Carolina.
(CRICKETS CHIRPING)
I don't wanna fall asleep.
LACY: Five more minutes?
Wayne thinks it's weird
we still sleep together.
Can I have a piece of you?
What do you mean,
a piece of me?
A little piece of you
to sleep with.
Thanks.
(WHISPERS) Welcome home.
(KISSES)
(INSECTS CHIRPING)
(GENTLE SNORING)
(PRACTICING SHINICHI SUZUKI'S
FRENCH CHILDREN'S SONG)
(STOPS PLAYING)
(LAWNMOWER WHIRRING)
(PLEASANT MUSIC PLAYING
ON SPEAKERS)
LACY: Is that your daughter?
Say "uthag" after anything
that isn't A, E, I or O or U.
-After a consonant?
-Yes.
But if it's A, E, I, O, U,
you say it before.
Before what?
Uthagi duthago nuthagot
knothagow.
What does that mean?
Uthagits uthaga
suthagecruthaget.
(DELIGHTFUL INSTRUMENTAL
MUSIC PLAYING)
(INAUDIBLE CONVERSATION)
(DELIGHTFUL INSTRUMENTAL
MUSIC CONTINUES)
"Jondalar relaxed
beside Noria.
"After a while, she sat up
and looked at him
"with glowing lang..."
"Languorous."
"...languorous eyes.
"'Jondalar, man,
Noria, woman,' she said,
"as though she truly felt
she was a woman now
"and leaned over to kiss him."
(CAR ENGINE HUMMING)
(PARKING BRAKE ENGAGES)
(ENGINE SWITCHES OFF)
Suthagee yuthagou
luthagatuthager.
Guthagoodbuthagye.
MOTHER: So nice meeting you.
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
I like Sequoia.
That's good.
I like Sequoia, too.
I'd like to be friends
with her.
I usually have a hard time
making friends.
Why doesn't she live with you
some of the time?
Do you have any other kids?
Wayne has a wonderful son
named Eric.
He's 20.
Where does he live?
Iraq. And California.
(BIRDS CALLING)
Eyes up here.
Very good.
You're ready to concentrate.
-(CLAPPING RHYTHMICALLY)
-Mississippi hot dog.
Mississippi hot dog.
Mississippi hot dog.
Mississippi hot dog.
Mississippi hot dog.
Mississippi hot dog.
(PLAYING FRENCH CHILDREN'S
SONG BY SHINICHI SUZUKI)
Better.
You're using the fat part
of your thumb.
You need to stay
right on the edge.
This little man...
should be kissing the keys.
(INSECTS CHIRPING)
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
Something's wrong with Wayne.
(CRICKETS CHIRPING)
(WAYNE MOANING SOFTLY)
(WAYNE BREATHING DEEPLY)
(WIND CHIMES TINKLING)
(WAYNE MOANS SOFTLY)
(CONTINUES BREATHING DEEPLY)
(SWITCH CLICKS)
-(SWITCH CLICKS)
-(KETTLE WHISTLING)
MOTHER: Wayne has a migraine.
I think you should
go back to bed.
What's a migraine?
A really bad headache.
LACY: You had a headache
yesterday.
MOTHER: Yes.
He thinks maybe
I transferred it to him.
It's too hot for tea.
WAYNE: Turn off the light.
What's she doing here?
MOTHER: Lacy, go back to bed.
WAYNE: Close the door.
(DOOR CREAKS)
LACY: Why doesn't Sequoia live
with you part of the time?
WAYNE: Please get her
out of here.
MOTHER: Lacy, leave.
WAYNE: Is she still here?
I need quiet.
I need to be alone.
(WHISPERING)
My head is splitting open.
Do you know what
a migraine feels like?
LACY: What does it feel like?
WAYNE: Please
get her out of here.
I can't listen to her voice
right now.
LACY: But I'm not trying
to talk to you.
MOTHER: Lacy, get out!
LACY: I'm not trying
to talk to you!
I'm not trying to talk to you!
MOTHER: Get out!
LACY: I wasn't
saying anything!
I wasn't talking to you!
-(MOTHER GRUNTS)
-(DOOR BANGS)
(CRICKETS CHIRPING)
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
MOTHER: So what do I do?
LACY: You want me
to tell you what to do?
MOTHER: Yes.
I think you have
to break up with him.
(PRACTICING SHINICHI SUZUKI'S
ALLEGRETTO I ON KEYBOARD)
(FINISHES PLAYING)
I'm done with Book One.
Congratulations, honey.
(CRICKETS CHIRPING)
LACY: Can I hold your hand?
It's kind of hard for me
to fall asleep
when we're holding hands.
How about for a minute?
(BREATHES DEEPLY)
You know what's funny?
What?
Every moment of my life
is hell.
I don't like it
when you say things like that.
But it is.
You actually seem very happy
to me a lot of the time.
(SIGHS DEEPLY)
It's hell. I don't think
it'll last, though.
I'm actually
pretty unhappy, too.
(SIGHS DEEPLY)
(DISTANT INDISTINCT NOISE)
(MAN LAUGHS)
MAN: Hey.
MOTHER: (WHISPERS)
Don't turn on the light.
(LACY SIGHS)
LACY: (WHISPERS)
The worst part of this for me
is that I really wanted
to see Sequoia again.
(BELL JINGLING)
(FLUTE MUSIC PLAYING)
(WELCOMING BELL
CONTINUES JINGLING)
(FLUTE MUSIC CONTINUES)
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
(CABASA RATTLING)
(GENTLE DRUMMING)
(CLARINET PLAYING NOTE)
(BAND PLAYING
PERPLEXING MUSIC)
(PERPLEXING MUSIC CONTINUES)
(PEOPLE LAUGHING)
(SINGING IN OTHER LANGUAGE)
I know her.
(SINGING CONTINUES)
(PERCUSSIVE ACCOMPANIMENPLAYING)
(VOCALIZING)
(CONTINUES VOCALIZING)
(BAND PLAYING
WHIMSICAL JAZZ MUSIC)
MAN: What experience
has made you
Everything is a door.
What experience
has made you suffer most?
(MAN CONTINUES SINGING
IN TANDEM)
If to drink tastes bitter,
become wine.
MAN: Become wine
Let the magic powers
of this night's excess...
MAN: Magic powers
...at the crossroads
of your senses,
give meaning
to this strange encounter.
MAN: Crossroads
of your senses
When the world
has long forgotten you,
to the silent earth, say...
MAN: Encounter
WOMAN: "I am flowing.
"I am flowing.
"I am flowing!"
To the rushing waters, speak:
"I am.
"I am!
-"I... am."
-(MUSIC ENDS)
Something
is about to happen.
(BAND PLAYING UPBEAT MUSIC)
(APPLAUSE)
(CROWD CHEERING)
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
(BAND PLAYING PEPPY MUSIC)
Well, a number of you
have asked me
why we call
what we did tonight
a service
and not a performance.
Well, um...
We think of our work
as a funeral
and also as a celebration.
We're in service for you,
and with you,
to collectively process
and mourn
our nihilistic, materialistic,
dead and asleep culture.
And we're here to celebrate
radical, impersonal love.
Because that's the deepest
source of political
and spiritual resistance.
-Right?
-WOMAN: Yes.
MAN 1: Don't forget...
MAN 2: What about the table?
-Tell them about the table.
-Oh. Yeah.
We also want you to leave with
some really good zucchini.
(LAUGHTER)
We grew too much of it
over the summer
and we're trying
to get rid of it.
So, it's on the picnic table
on your way out.
So, uh, leave a donation or...
Please, just take a zucchini.
(LAUGHTER)
(BAND PLAYING CHEERFUL MUSIC)
(GROUP SINGING INDISTINCTLY)
(LIVELY CHATTERING)
She was in a relationship
with Avi.
The guy with the beard?
Then she broke things off
with him, but he...
Well, I wouldn't go so far
as to call it a cult,
and Regina insists it isn't,
and they're actually
really wonderful...
What's a cult?
MOTHER: Mm...
(SNICKERS) Good question.
A group of people
who all gather around
and maybe worship someone,
like he's a religious figure
or something.
And they usually
all live together.
And you know these people do
all live together at the farm.
And he's slept
with a lot of...
Hold on, what is that?
Oh, fuck. Oh, my God.
What is it?
MOTHER: I need
to find my tweezers.
LACY: (SHOUTS) What is it?
(GRUNTS)
It's still alive.
Die, tick, die.
-(DOOR CLACKS)
-(SOFT FOOTSTEPS)
(MUFFLED INDISTINCT CHATTER)
(CHATTER CONTINUES)
(SWITCH CLICKS)
How long were you and Will
together?
-Three years.
-Oh, wow.
And where does he live now?
He moved to New Mexico to be
closer to his grandchildren.
-Grandchildren?
-I know.
And when did you get
your license?
Mm... five...
no, yeah,
four-and-a-half years ago.
-Will you do some work on me?
-Of course.
I can't pay you.
You're not paying me.
And you're not paying
for the room, either.
You're a beautiful person,
Janet. You really are.
Do you remember meeting me
when you were two years old?
JANET: I don't think
it's possible
for her to remember that.
You seem familiar.
See?
Lacy, how do you feel
about me staying here?
Is that all right with you?
It's okay with me if we go
on some adventures.
Lacy's always talking about
how we don't go
on enough adventures.
I'll take you
on some adventures.
It's hard when there's a
five-year gap on your resume.
But I actually do have a lot
of waitressing experience.
LACY: You were an actress
for five years.
D'Angelo's doesn't care
about that.
My mom had
a lot of different jobs
before she got
her acupuncture license.
Yeah, but do you know
your mom got $30,000
from your grandfather
when he died?
That's how she could
go back to school.
Do you want kids?
Probably not.
Do lots of people
fall in love with you?
Why do you say that?
Mm, lots of people
fall in love with my mom.
Well, your mom is fantastic.
But she also has
terrible taste in men.
Yeah.
-You think so, too?
-Yeah.
The guy she just broke up with
sounds awful.
Yeah.
He was okay.
(REGINA SIGHS)
Someone lit himself
on fire here.
Wait, where?
On the town common.
Why'd he light himself
on fire?
He was against the war.
That always
makes me think about
-spontaneous combustion.
-What's that?
It's like where you, like,
explode or disappear
or catch on fire,
but there's no explanation.
Let's go to the ice-cream shop
-and then go home.
-Okay.
Wouldn't you rather be
hanging out with your friends?
I don't have any friends.
-Why?
-I don't know.
It's a complete mystery to me.
(SCHUMANN'S PIANO QUINTET IN
E-FLAT MAJOR PLAYS ON RADIO)
(OVEN HUMMING)
(SNIFFS)
(EXHALES)
(SNIFFS)
(EXHALES)
(MY EYES BY LAURIE ANDERSON
PLAYING IN OTHER ROOM)
If I were the president
If I were queen for a day
I'd give the ugly people
All the money
I'd rewrite
the Book of Love
I'd make it funny
I got a job.
Wheel of fortune
WOMAN ON TV:
...there is an evolution here,
and that we are
a part of the evolution.
And the self of woman
that is articulated now
and conceptualized,
and the possible life patterns
of women taking
our own experience
seriously...
(PHONE RINGING)
Don't answer it.
And what if it's someone
calling for us?
They can leave a message.
WOMAN ON TV: ...sharing
our experience here,
in forums like this,
when it isn't that...
What do you think he wants?
Avi is ultimately harmless.
He just wants me to come back.
What if you talked to him?
I don't want to talk to him.
WOMAN ON TV:
...seem to us as serious
as the problems
that we started out with.
But they must be met
and articulated
and we must be tuning it in,
tuning our rhetoric in
for life.
Do I need this much?
This is nothing.
You could take three times
this much and be fine.
You could take five times
this much and be fine.
WOMAN: ... then we are
on the right political track.
If it doesn't open lines,
if it isn't true to our own...
It's to help sleep tonight.
WOMAN: ...then we have to go
back to the drawing board.
And this is
what we must do now
because Erin Kaplan is right.
It is fragile, our victory.
It is fragile,
the basic covenant
that we could move from here
and that our daughters...
Well, the short version is,
when I was 15,
Mum died
and I moved in with my dad.
And things were going well,
I mean, relatively speaking,
I made some new friends
and I started hanging out
with these older kids.
I guess one of them was 19,
or 20, maybe.
And then someone sent my dad
an anonymous letter.
It said something like...
I mean, I read it at the time.
It said something like...
"Your daughter is, you know,
"hanging out with bad
characters and doing drugs,
"and you should do
something about it."
And this letter
was the beginning
of the two worst years
of my life.
You already know this part.
It was the reason
they sent me to Ireland
to live with my grandparents,
which is, of course, when
I had my nervous breakdown.
Anyway, two years ago,
which is, what,
almost 30 years later,
I'm visiting my dad
for Christmas
and I'm having coffee with
one of my old best friends.
And we stop in
to see her mother.
And when we're all saying
goodbye, she starts crying,
I mean, my friend's mother
starts crying.
And we say, "What, what?"
And she says,
"I'm the one...
"who sent the anonymous
letter, it was me."
And she's sobbing.
And she says,
"I see now it was a mistake."
And I was... I mean,
I just moved to Massachusetts,
and I'd just met Avi,
and I was in such a good place
in my life
for the first time
in a long time.
And I said, you know,
"Estelle," and I was bubbling
over with forgiveness.
And I hugged her
for a long time,
but she wouldn't stop crying.
And then that night, I got
back to my dad's house,
and I said, "Hey, Dad,
I just saw Jackie's mother
"for the first time
in decades,
"remember Estelle?"
And he says, "Yeah."
And I say, "Well, it turns out
she's the one who sent
"the anonymous letter
about me 30 years ago."
And Dad says, "What letter?"
Erm... no.
Yeah?
No, we never had any dogs
and we never had any cats.
It was just me and
my Holocaust-survivor dad
and my angry mom.
And then finally, one day,
after I'd begged
and begged them for a pet,
they got me a dove.
REGINA: A dove?
Mm-hmm. They got me a dove
and I named her Susan.
(ROUND AND ROUND BY LIBANA
PLAYING ON STEREO)
Round and round
the earth is turning
Turning always
'round to morning
And from morning
'round to night
I think I know
what it feels like
to be a baby in the womb.
I just got in touch with it.
What's it like?
It's wet...
and warm...
and wooshy.
(JANET BREATHES DEEPLY)
It's really good.
(ROUND AND ROUND CONTINUES
PLAYING ON STEREO)
There's no language for it.
No thinking
and no language.
What are we
even talking about...
when we talk about mothers?
What are we even
talking about?
Look, there's making
bad decisions.
Choosing the wrong person.
(EVER NEW BY BEVERLY GLENN-
COPELAND PLAYING ON STEREO)
But then there's also
worrying all the time
that you're making
bad decisions
and not trusting yourself.
So, you develop an identity.
You develop an identity
as an untrustworthy person.
Untrustworthy to yourself.
And so that...
I mean,
once you're in that pattern,
that's how you make
bad decisions.
Because then you think...
When you have an instinct
about something, you think...
"Oh, I can't trust my instinct
because I'm the one...
"I'm the person
who makes bad decisions here."
REGINA: So, then you make
a bad decision.
But even the word "bad."
But even the word
"bad."
What is that word?
Why do we say that word
to ourselves?
I would never say that
to one of my patients.
That's my...
That's my narrative
of myself, but...
who's to say?
Who's to say but me
whether it's a bad decision?
Yeah.
But objectively,
you do make bad decisions.
Well, who knows?
Well, you know.
I mean, I know.
We know when we know.
But I'm saying maybe we don't.
Yeah, yeah.
Okay.
Okay.
(INHALES)
Okay, but...
also,
and I mean this with love...
don't kid yourself, Janet.
I mean...
-you know.
-(EVER NEW CONTINUES PLAYING)
The summer blooming flower
Welcome the child
whose hand I hold
I think I might be dehydrated.
You should sit down.
Lacy, can you get some water?
(BREATHES DEEPLY)
Yeah, I don't know.
I think I was...
I think I was onto something
and you stepped on my toe.
Stepped on your toe?
Or however you say it.
Interrupted me.
No, no, no.
Oh, I didn't mean
to do that. I...
Yeah, but
that's what happened.
I was onto something and I was
being kind to myself for once,
and you stepped on my toe.
Huh.
Okay.
(CHUCKLES LIGHTLY)
That's not...
I actually felt
filled with love for you
in that moment.
That's what filled with love
looks like?
That's what it's like
when you're filled with love?
I was, like,
yes, you're onto something.
You do make bad decisions
sometimes,
but you're facing up to it.
But you don't know me.
You haven't seen me for years.
We're friends.
You gave away
all of your money.
You can't pay a month's rent.
I've worked
really, really hard.
I know you have.
I've changed my life.
(EVER NEW CONTINUES PLAYING)
(KNOCKING AT DOOR)
Hi.
REGINA: Are you gonna be
in there much longer?
No, I'm getting off.
REGINA: You've been in there
for 45 minutes.
Also, Lacy?
LACY: Yes?
REGINA: I don't
wanna sound rude,
but can you stop
using my shampoo?
(TOILET FLUSHES)
I didn't use your shampoo.
Also, why do you smear your
hair all over the shower wall?
I don't.
I forgot to wash my hands!
Use the kitchen sink.
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
(DON'T TREAT ME BAD BY
FIREHOUSE PLAYING ON SPEAKERS)
(PEOPLE CHATTERING)
Well, this could be
the best thing
That you'll ever have
Baby, don't treat me bad
You can do anything,
but, baby
Don't treat me bad
Oh, don't treat me bad
I gave everything
But you threw it all away
I can't take anymore
Of these games
that you play
Oh, I've been
through heartache
And I've been through pain
And it's hard to believe
You still treat me
this way
But I won't cry no more
'Cause the tears
are all in vain
(LOVE OF A LIFETIME BY
FIREHOUSE PLAYS ON SPEAKERS)
I finally found the love
of a lifetime
A love to last
my whole life through
I finally found
the love of a lifetime
Forever in my heart
I finally found
the love of a lifetime
-(INSECTS CHIRRING)
-(ANIMAL CALLING IN DISTANCE)
JANET: Are you okay?
LACY: What do you mean?
You're covered in something.
It's just ice cream.
Lacy, this is
Regina's friend, Avi.
He just stopped by
to say hello.
Great to meet you.
I saw you in the play.
JANET: He directed it, too.
Did you like it?
She loved it.
So, what do you do
for fun, Lacy?
I have a piano lesson
in five minutes.
Fantastic.
(TICKING)
(PIANO PLAYING IN OTHER ROOM)
(CLOCK CHIMING)
(CLOCK STRIKING 5 O'CLOCK)
(PLAYING SHINICHI SUZUKI'S
GOODBYE TO WINTER)
I can tell
you really practiced.
I actually didn't practice
very much this week at all.
(INSECTS CHIRPING)
(INAUDIBLE CONVERSATION)
(FOOTSTEPS RUNNING
DOWN STAIRS)
I don't know. He showed up
and he was friendly,
and he asked if he could
tell me about
what happened between them.
What happened between them?
We didn't end up talking
that much about it.
It really surprised me
how nice he was.
I thought he'd be
a narcissistic,
artist type of guy.
He asked a lot of questions.
Would you be disappointed
if, one day, I dated a girl?
No, I wouldn't be
disappointed at all.
I'd be very happy for you.
I've always wondered
if you might turn out
to be a lesbian.
I didn't say I was a lesbian.
I know, I know.
Don't get mad at me.
I just said I wondered.
Why?
Because you have a kind of...
a forthrightness.
(EXHALES)
You have a kind
of aggressive quality.
It sounds like a criticism
and I don't mean it as one.
I've just always worried...
I've just always wondered
how that would work
with a man.
I've wondered
if it might be easier
for you to be with a woman.
Men like you.
(BREATHES DEEPLY)
What?
I know I'm not that beautiful.
But I've...
always had this knowledge...
and I don't even know
if it's true,
but I've always
had this knowledge...
deep inside of me that I could
make any man fall in love
with me if I really tried.
And I think maybe
it's ruined my life.
I've never actually said that
out loud before.
I guess it sounds kinda silly.
Can you stop?
Stop what?
Stop trying.
(CAR ENGINE HUMMING)
(DOOR CLOSES)
(BACH'S SYMPHONIE CONCERTANTE
IN F MAJOR PLAYING ON RADIO)
Good news.
You're in Mr. Mac's class.
He's supposed to be
the nice one, right?
(SIGHS) Phew.
You glad?
(KNOCK AT DOOR)
So,
we're in agreement that
before the universe existed,
there was nothing, right?
Are the two of you
in agreement with me?
Theoretically?
There was nothing,
and out of nothing
came something.
I mean, we're... we're talking
about the Big Bang.
There was nothing, and out
of nothing came something.
Right? Okay.
So, out of nothing
came something.
There was just God or...
or Brahmin or whatever
you want to call him.
There was God and the state
of nothing ever happening
for an infinity of time...
well, of no time,
'cause time didn't exist.
Imagine you're God, okay?
And you are God, by the way.
I know you don't think
you are, but you are.
And just imagine you've been
doing nothing forever.
And then imagine the thought
crosses your mind that,
"You know,
maybe I should do something."
And then
another billion years go by.
And then, "Hmm,
"maybe I should do something.
"Nah, I'm gonna go back
to doing nothing."
Pfft.
Once you have that thought,
God,
once you have that thought,
it's hard to let go of, right?
It's hard to let go of that...
that impulse.
Maybe I will. Maybe I won't.
But you do.
Okay, so
you create the universe.
Bang. Everything changes
in an instant.
And millions of years later,
you get human consciousness.
Now, are you both
still with me so far?
All right.
Every Buddhist scripture
says...
And I know that you know this.
Every Buddhist scripture says
there's only one I, right?
That's the first thing
we learn.
I may look like a man,
and you may look
like a woman, but...
we're all the same.
We're all one.
So, if there's only one I,
which we acknowledge to be
a spiritual truth,
then you...
you created the universe.
You made that decision.
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
JANET: He said I can
come up with it myself.
I had a good one last night,
but now I forget it.
It has to do with truth
before ego.
Truth before the desire
to be liked,
which is a very female thing.
LACY: What is?
JANET: The desire to be liked.
My own liberation
depends on my ability
to put truth before
the desire to be liked.
My own liberation
depends on my ability
to put truth before
the desire to be loved.
My own liberation
depends on my ability
to put truth before ego.
My own liberation
depends on my willingness
to put truth
before my own self-image.
My own liberation
depends on my willingness
to see truth beyond
my own self-image.
My own liberation
depends on my willingness
to see truth
beyond my own self-image.
Something like that.
And then
you can do prostrations.
(EXHALES HEAVILY)
My own willingness...
My own liberation
depends on my willingness
to see truth
beyond my own self-image.
My own liberation
depends on my willingness
to see truth
beyond my own self-image.
My own liberation
depends on my willingness
to see truth
beyond my own self-image.
(JANET EXHALES)
It's really starting
to smell like fall.
I think it's my favorite smell
in the whole world.
(VEHICLE APPROACHING)
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
She says she can't think
because of the headache.
And my face is numb.
And her face is numb.
It was her first day
of sixth grade today,
and I think
she was really nervous.
I'm gonna throw up.
The headache's
gonna make me throw up.
You wanna use the bathroom?
Mm-hmm.
(SPITS)
He said you can go
on antibiotics,
in case it's some kind
of infection.
But, you know,
I hate antibiotics.
What do you want to do?
LACY: I don't want to go
on antibiotics.
JANET: You scared
about middle school?
Yes, but that's not
why I'm sick.
( CLARISSA EXPLAINS IT ALL
MAIN THEME PLAYING ON TV)
Na, na, na, na, na
All right, all right
Na, na, na, na, na
Na, na, na, na, na
Hey, cool
Na, na, na, na, na
Na, na, na, na, na
All right, all right
Na, na, na, na, na
Na, na, na, na, na
Hey, cool
Na, na, na, na, na
(CRICKETS CHIRPING)
(VEHICLE APPROACHING)
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)
Sweetie, I'm gonna have
to ask you to go inside,
otherwise my clients
will see you and get worried.
-(WIND CHIMES TINKLING)
-(INSECTS CHIRRING)
(FLOOR CREAKING
UNDER FOOTSTEPS)
Are you still throwing up?
I picked up the antibiotics.
I think maybe
you should take them.
Why?
In case you have
a bacterial thing.
But we hate antibiotics.
Well,
it's your decision.
I'm leaving the bag
on the counter.
How would you feel
about me meeting up
with Avi for a walk?
When?
He wants to have
a picnic dinner.
You're invited, of course.
If you're not feeling
well enough,
I'll leave out some of those
frozen blintzes you love.
Without the fruit.
Yeah, without the fruit.
(MICROWAVE BEEPS)
(MICROWAVE WHIRRING)
(MICROWAVE BEEPING)
(WHIRRING STOPS)
(INSECTS CHIRPING)
JANET: I thought that part
would get easier
as I got older, but it's
pretty much stayed the same.
The guilt, but also...
sometimes I feel like
she's watching me.
AVI: When you're not with her?
JANET: Yeah.
(WINDING MUSIC BOX)
(W.A. MOZART'S LACRIMOSA
PLAYING ON MUSIC BOX)
(MUSIC ENDS)
(CRICKETS CHIRPING)
"And you, my parents,
am I not right?
"You who loved me
"for that small beginning
of my love for you,
"from which I always
shyly turned away,
"because the distance in
your features grew, changed,
"even while I loved it,
into cosmic space
"where you no longer were.
"And when I feel inclined to
wait before the puppet stage,
"no, rather to stare at it
so intensely that in the end,
"to counter-balance
my searching gaze,
"an angel has to come
as an actor
"and begin manipulating
the lifeless bodies
"of the puppets to perform.
"Angel and puppet!
"Now at last there is a play.
"Then what we separate
can come together
"by our very presence.
"And only then the entire
cycle of our own life-seasons
"is revealed
and set in motion."
It's... It's part
of a much longer poem.
Will you read it again?
I spaced out for a second
in the middle.
I really like you, Janet.
I really like you.
Read it again.
"And you, my parents,
am I not right?
"You who loved me
"for that small beginning
of my love for you,
"from which I always
shyly turned away,
"because the distance in
your features grew, changed,
"even while I loved it,
into cosmic space
"where you no longer were.
"And when I feel inclined to
wait before the puppet stage,
"no, rather to stare at it
so intensely that in the end,
"to counter-balance
my searching gaze,
"an angel has to come
as an actor
"and begin manipulating
the lifeless..."
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
(INSECTS CHIRPING)
(CAR DOOR OPENS)
(LEOPOLD MOZART'S TOY SYMPHONY
PLAYING ON STEREO)
(MILK POURS)
(PILLS RATTLE)
(INSECTS CHIRRING)
(VEHICLE APPROACHING)
(GIRLS LAUGHING)
(BUS DRIVING AWAY)
(CRICKETS CHIRPING)
(MUFFLED MUSIC PLAYING)
I'm so glad you came.
I'm a terrible dancer.
It's not really
about being good or bad.
It's just a great way
to meet people.
Are you gonna contra dance,
Lacy?
JANET: Lacy has made it
very clear to me
that she is not going
to contra dance.
(PLAYING FOLK DANCE MUSIC)
(SINGSONG)
Circle to the left,
two circle lefts.
And back to the right,
circle right, right, rights.
Now the ones with the twos.
It's lady 'round lady
and the gent around gent
and swing in the middle
of the sentence.
Now, men center,
go four by four.
Back on up.
Ones arch, twos dive through.
On to the next
for the figure eight.
Box the gnat.
Circle to the left.
Now back to the right,
circle right, right, rights.
New ladies!
There's your partner.
MAN: Hi.
Hi.
CALLER: Gentlemen, left hands.
Long line to the middle.
Go once and a half.
Now box the gnat.
Find your partner.
Balance here.
You okay?
Yeah.
I'm here with my mom.
MAN: You wanna dance?
(FOLK DANCE MUSIC
CONTINUES PLAYING)
You sure?
(FOLK DANCE MUSIC
CONTINUES PLAYING)
(MUSIC ENDS)
Round and round
the earth is turning
Turning always
'round to morning
And from morning
'round to night
Round and round
the earth is turning
Turning always
'round to morning
And from morning
'round to night
Round and round
the earth is turning
Turning always
'round to morning
And from morning
'round to night
Round and round
the earth is turning
Turning always
'round to morning
And from morning
'round to night
Round and round
the earth is turning
Turning always
'round to morning
And from morning
'round to night
Round and round
the earth is turning
Turning always
'round to morning
And from morning
'round to night
Turning always
'round to morning
And from morning
'round to night
(RUSSIAN LULLABY
BY LIBANA PLAYING)