Johnny & Clyde (2023) Movie Script
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SUSAN: I know. Trust me.
I don't plan to be Nancy Drew,
but I'm gonna blow this
story wide the fuck open.
Her father's company literally
gets away with murder.
And that is gonna change
as long as you keep your balls
and go ahead with my story.
Yeah. Of course, I'm
wearing the wire.
Yeah. I'm at her office now.
Wish me luck.
()
()
It's a Carcano 91/38.
This is the gun
that killed Kennedy.
SUSAN: I thought the
actual rifle was on display
at the Texas Book Depository.
That would be a fake.
SUSAN: And you
have it, because...
Please sit.
I'm sorry if this comes off as
rude, but I'm just fascinated.
Can I ask you what does
something like that even cost?
It must be priceless.
Well, I feel like you didn't
come here for a history lesson.
So, why don't we
just skip all that,
and you can hand me that
wire that you're wearing.
[chuckles softly]
I'm not wearing a wire.
ALANA: Ah, come on.
Is it in your bra?
Did they hide it in your skirt?
Okay. This is absurd.
ALANA: Well, here's the thing.
This is gonna go a lot
smoother if you don't treat me
like I'm an idiot. Right?
This casino generates
billions of dollars.
We have the top
anti-intelligence equipment
in the world.
Your microphone was screaming
frequencies from the second
you parked your car.
Can I have the wire now?
It was in the bra.
It's always in the bra.
Great. Why are you here?
One word.
Bakwas.
[inhales sharply]
Well, that's a myth.
Campfire stories.
Well, what about all
the missing people
on or near casino property?
Could it have anything to
do with the undead slasher
that's been stalking
these lands for years?
A slasher that you now control?
ALANA: I'm sorry.
Did you just listen to
the words that you said?
Corporate slasher mind control?
It's hilarious Scooby Doo shit.
Who do you work for again?
Is it National Enquirer?
Daily Mail?
[scoffs softly]
Ms. Hart.
This story is happening with
or without your consent.
You can give me your
side of the story,
or I can do it without you.
Personally, I'd much
rather get your take.
What do you say?
[clicks tongue]
I say, how's 2 million?
SUSAN: 2 million what?
Dollars, of course.
SUSAN: Wow.
You really are
full of surprises.
ALANA: This...
is an NDA.
All you have to do
is sign on that line,
and you walk out of here
with life-changing money.
You can't buy your
way out of this one.
I don't want your blood money.
You don't?
Are you sure?
Positive.
Okay.
Well...
I tried.
()
[sighs]
()
Oh.
- Hi.
- GUY: Yes, miss.
Uh, yeah.
I'm gonna need a clean-up
crew and a body double.
We could like,
deep fake her face.
GUY: Of course.
Right away, miss.
M-m-m-m-met her
with a suit on
But I don't know what to do
Message in a bottle and
the bitches gonna pool
Put it in a taxi and
it didn't go through
Now, I don't know what
to, don't know what to
Don't know what to do, yeah
Goddamn, these cellphones,
goddamn, these technologies
[crowd clamoring]
High time you turn around
But you're only gonna
turn your back on me
Yeah, I want to drag it out,
not one for pleasantries
If I gotta stay up all night
That's the way it's gonna be
'Cause I'm never
gonna sleep again
Never gonna sleep again,
never gonna sleep again
Never gonna sleep,
but it wasn't a secret
[man speaking
indistinctly over speaker]
You didn't receive it
Goddamn, these cellphones,
goddamn, these technologies
If I gotta stay up all night,
that's the way it's gonna be
But I'm never
wanna sleep again
Everybody said that
I was only being used
Turnin' on my TV, it
was just fake news
They marry in a coal
mine, singin' little tunes
Tweedledee-dee
and a... woo-hoo
Goddamn, these cellphones,
goddamn, these technologies
It's high time
you turn around
But you're only gonna
turn your back on me
Yeah, I want to drag it out,
not one for pleasantries
If I gotta stay up all night,
that's the way it's gonna be
'Cause I never
wanna sleep again
Never gonna sleep again,
never gonna sleep again
Never gonna sleep,
but it wasn't a secret
You didn't receive it
Goddamn, these cellphones,
goddamn, these technologies
If I gotta stay up all night,
that's the way it's gonna be
But I'm never
gonna sleep again
Whoo!
()
()
Hey!
There was a man, he
liked to drink too much
And then one day
[indistinct lyrics]
They poisoning
the wrong man
He drank it all up
What ya staring at?
Oh, the...
Ah.
Can I help you with something?
Yeah, please, and thank you.
40 on one.
40 on one.
Uh, that'd be all?
Have a safe ride
back to Rhode Island.
What's your name, friend?
JERRY: J... J... J... Jerry.
Well, J... J... J... Jerry,
I'm p... p... perplexed
why you think I'm
going to Rhode Island.
Oh, your... your plates,
they say, "Rhode Island."
Why would a man
of such stature as
yourself give a fine fuck
if I'm coming or
going to Rhode Island?
Fuck off! We're closed!
Now...
I don't want to assume
anything here, Jerry.
But, um,
you must have people
coming and going
all the time here.
Do you ask every single
one of those people
where they're going?
I didn't... I didn't...
I didn't ask where.
You're right!
Goddammit! You're right. You
didn't ask. You know why?
'Cause you already fucking knew.
N... no.
Your plates. You've
got Rhode Island...
P... p... p... p... plates.
[sighs]
Wait. What was that?
What? What was what?
The gun.
You just... you just
looked at my gun.
No. I didn't.
Oh, I fucking hate that.
Hate what?
You just did it again.
N... no, I...
Pick it up.
No.
[breathes heavily]
Pick it up.
I'm not gonna ask you again!
Pick it the fuck up!
Ooh! Hey, Tex.
[breathes deeply]
Pull the trigger.
Please just leave. Just leave.
Just l... l... go.
[breathes shakily]
Jerry.
Some men, they seek greatness
while other men have
greatness thrust upon them.
Do you feel that, Jerry?
That's greatness thrusting
itself into your asshole.
Now, pull the fucking trigger.
Ooh! Oh. Jesus Christ, Jerry.
- The safety's on.
- [Jerry breathes heavily]
What, you think I'm some
kind of reckless fuck? Huh?
That's a loaded firearm. Gun
safety is very important.
Bye-bye now.
Ooh!
Sorry. I love these.
[groans]
()
You are one gorgeous bitch.
[chuckles]
[grunts softly]
You know, I love you.
You ready to kick rocks, baby?
()
[snoring]
ELIZEBETH: Fuck you!
My dad's a sheriff!
He's gonna find you
and fucking kill you!
()
JOHNNY: You're being selfish.
Ooh, you sound scared!
[hums]
Do me a favor.
Call up your daddy.
Your face...
[breathes heavily]
Daddy!
[screams]
Daddy!
[humming]
[chuckles]
[screams]
[screams, pants]
[indistinct chatter on TV]
LOCK: [indistinct speech]
[sobs]
It's okay. It's okay.
[grunts, coughs]
[grunts, exhales shakily]
NEWS ANCHOR 1: And we are
gonna get right on the scene.
We have a breaking story
developing right now.
We're gonna cut right
over to Jesse McPhee
on the scene right now.
Jesse.
JESSE: It is presently unknown
why Johnny and Clyde
have returned to
the ocean state.
Investigators can only speculate
why after a
year-long crime spree
of murder and rampage,
spanning the
entirety of a nation.
REPORTER 1: Police are baffled
as to why the modern-day
Bonnie and Clyde
have chosen to come
back to Rhode Island.
We'll be actively following
this case and reporting
all the action as it develops.
[breathes heavily]
They're fuckin' back.
[grunts]
()
Pick up, pick up.
Come on. Come on.
[groans, sobs]
Told your ass not to run.
You bail-jumpin' motherfucker.
[screams, groans]
Fuckin' bitch.
[scoffs softly]
ONE TIME: Hello.
LOCK: Hey, it's me.
Oh, fuck, no, Lock. Uh-uh.
Your credits are gone. You
done used them shits up.
Please, pal. You
don't understand.
Nah, man. You don't understand.
You still owe me
from the last time.
You lost your badge
and I lost my job,
because of you.
They're back.
Shit.
All right.
What's the plan now?
Oh, yes! My man!
All right.
[breathes heavily]
I'll get back to you
ASAP with the details.
There ain't enough rocks
around here for them
to crawl under.
But I'll find 'em.
[chuckles]
LOCK: I will find them.
All right. I got your back.
You're a good man.
[chuckles, pants]
()
LOCK: Yeah.
[chuckles]
LOCK: Yeah.
CLYDE: Purrin' like a kitten.
JOHNNY: You are a
remarkable woman.
[sighs]
Tell me again how we first met.
Oh, baby.
I told you that story
a thousand times.
Let's talk about our
present or our future.
Tell me again!
Well...
when I turned 18, and
I could finally leave
that damn foster
home, I went out.
Saw a bit of the world.
Realized it wasn't for me.
If I wasn't gonna be famous,
I was gonna be infamous.
Well, my choice was
obvious. Serial murder.
And then I met you.
And you were the first girl
to make me feel special.
So, I wanted to give
you something special.
A piece of my heart, you know?
The knife I used
on my first kill.
And you promised you
would keep it close
to your heart...
forever.
Ooh!
[giggles]
JOHNNY: And then you told me
about that mean,
old daddy of yours.
And how he used to hurt you.
()
[grunts]
[grunts]
What did my dad say?
Who cares?
I just knew I had
to take care of you.
We'd be the darkest
fairy tale of all time.
What would that fairy tale be?
Oh, you know, boy meets girl.
Girl meets boy.
Boy and girl fall
desperately in love
and kill as many people
as humanly possible.
And live together happily
ever after in infamy.
Johnny and Clyde forever.
[moans]
- [smooches]
- [giggles]
()
()
[groans]
- [laughs]
- [laughs, blows raspberry]
JOHNNY: Okay.
- [grunts]
- [Clyde groans]
[both laugh]
JOHNNY: Good girl.
- [Clyde grunts]
- [groans]
Ah, fuck! You got my ear.
[groans]
Gee, goddammit!
[both laugh]
Again!
[groans]
- [laughs]
- Oh, God!
Baby, that's my ear. You
fucking caught my ear!
- [groans]
- Aw!
Kisses.
- [kisses]
- [groans]
Better?
Mm. Mmhmm.
CLYDE: Oh.
Ooh.
[moans]
()
()
ALANA: Again.
()
()
Again.
Where do we stand?
GUY: Support team
will land at 0800.
Oh my God. Just give me
the fucking time, Guy.
We're not on a naval ship.
8:00 a.m., miss.
Great.
Miss.
Yes?
- Um...
- [clears throat]
Don't you think that...
You know what I hate, Guy?
Do you know what I fucking hate?
Having to repeat myself.
Just make it happen.
Why are you like that?
Why do you look like
that? Are you nervous?
No.
Are you shaking?
No.
Are you scared?
Of course, not.
Okay.
Honey Pot.
Light up.
()
Why are you still here?
Why are you here?
Forgive me, miss.
ALANA: Don't be such a baby!
Fucking fun to do this.
[gunshots]
()
[whistles]
What the fuck is this?
()
MIKE: Hey, what's up,
baby? You need some help?
CLIFF: Hey. Hey!
Hey, hey, hey.
What? What the fuck?
What are you doin'?
Get back in the truck.
We don't have time
for this bullshit.
Hey, sweetie!
[groans]
Not the plan, El Ma!
Not the plan at all.
But you said they
both get out the car.
I know, bubba. I'm sorry.
- It's okay.
- [kisses]
It's okay. The plan
was to kill one.
And have the other one
open the back for us,
'cause it's probably locked.
- Yeah?
- Oh!
Let's see if the driver
has some keys, okay?
Okay.
Okay. Go on.
()
Any keys, baby?
[sighs]
CLYDE: Nada, babe.
Goddammit!
Just a quick little...
idea here.
[pants]
Hey, guys!
So, I got a bomb right here.
What the fuck?
Is that a fuckin' bomb?
Is that a fuckin' bomb?
JOHNNY: Now, you
can either come out
of the car or I can blow
us to kingdom fucking hell.
Oh, what the fuck?
JOHNNY: I'm serious.
It's okay... Hey.
No. It's gonna work.
It's gonna work.
It's gonna work.
Come on. Okay? Look.
Ooh!
[breathing shakily]
Jesus, fuck! Jesus, fuck!
Jesus, fuck! Jesus, fuck!
JOHNNY: No, no, no, no.
You, on your knees.
On your knees, please.
Please don't shoot him yet.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
JOHNNY: Okay, what
have we got here?
Just fixing your hair.
Okay.
JOHNNY: Motherfucker,
no, no, no!
Motherfucker!
What is it, baby?
- [screams]
- [groans]
CLIFF: Fuck! Fuck!
- [groans]
- You think this is funny?
[grunts]
[groans]
It's just the fucking day drop.
[grunts]
JOHNNY: Shoot this
unlucky fucker.
No. No, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait.
Wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait. Wait, wait!
[pants]
Don't... Don't you
guys want money? Huh?
- JOHNNY: Okay, yeah.
- I... I can show you
where all the fuckin'
money in the world is.
JOHNNY: I'm listening.
But uh, you better
not fuck this up.
It's gotta be some
Einstein-level shit.
Okay, okay. There is...
a secret depository.
It's called the cash room.
[slurps]
CLIFF: It looks like a... like a...
like a regular office building.
It just happens to house
the largest stash of cash
on the Eastern Seaboard.
The casino transports
everything there.
Everything.
Um, anything off the
books, it goes there.
- And the... and the...
- [Cliff chuckles]
CLIFF: the funny thing is...
It's... It's not
even that secure.
JOHNNY: Okay. Shut up. Shut
up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up.
Okay, that's... That was
actually interesting.
So, uh, we're actually in a
bit of a compromising position
here with all these dead
bodies on the side of the road,
so, uh...
get a toothbrush.
What?
[groans]
You get the arms,
I get the legs.
Just like we always do.
[grunting]
Oh boy.
()
Yes.
GUY: There's a
problem with truck 84.
ALANA: Well, I don't
know what that means.
So, you're gonna have to give
me more clarity than that, Guy.
Do they have to be here?
ALANA: You know Honey
Pot go wherever I go.
Truck 84 was ambushed.
Failed robbery attempt.
Two men dead, one missing.
ALANA: Truck 84 had
a coin delivery.
I don't think we're dealing
with master criminals here.
ALANA: Okay.
Well, what do you think
we're dealing with?
Last night, Johnny and Clyde
were seen traveling
up the interstate.
Knocked over a gas station.
Killed two men less
than an hour from here.
Little too coincidental for me.
I think it's romantic, no?
Love and blood lost
on the open road.
Two lunatics on a
cross-country kill tour,
leaving behind a wake
of destroyed families
and baffled lawmen,
only to return home
for a victory lap.
Very romantic, miss.
Mm. My team are all over it.
No.
Hey, get me my girl.
[Guy sighs] - ALANA:
Somebody, get me my girl.
Yes, miss.
[sighs]
GUY: This could get messy.
ALANA: Messy is good for this.
Messy is the
opposite of corporate
Which means no one will
suspect that we're behind it.
You catch on quick, Guy.
Guy.
I've been thinking about Bakwas.
You don't want him on this.
No.
But keep him close just in case.
AUCTIONEER: You have
been a great audience.
I have a very, very
special item for you.
Lot 609.
Undoubtedly, the only one
of its kind in the world,
I'm offering to you tonight.
Bidding will open at 500,000.
500,000 is the bid.
5 million.
5 million?
Thank you. 5 million.
5 million going once,
5 million going twice.
Oh. Daddy likes. 9 million!
AUCTIONEER: 9
million on the table.
9 million going once,
9 million going twice.
9 million. Sold
to the gentleman.
Congratulations, sir.
Oh, come to Papa.
This is just marvelous.
[Zhang grunts]
ZHANG: Get me my
stone. Get me my stone.
[Zhang chuckles]
ZHANG: I'll get you your
fucking stone. Get it?
Shit!
[Father speaking
indistinctly over cellphone]
You crazy? They have no magic!
They're so ordinary.
You're idiot.
FATHER: What did you say?
Sorry, sorry I said that.
I... Just...
I know you're the boss.
I listen to you, okay?
Or maybe not!
Fuck you.
()
- [grunts]
- [groans]
[Johnny chuckling]
JOHNNY: Wakey, wakey!
[chuckles]
CLYDE: Babe!
Think you hit him too hard.
Nah! He's all right. See.
[Cliff whimpering]
Can I try?
JOHNNY: Of course, El Ma.
Give it a shot.
- [grunts]
- [groans]
[chuckles]
She can fuckin' hit.
[chuckles]
[groans]
()
LOCK: Come on down
here and hide.
They're right over there.
I want you to see them.
Come on. Shh! Keep it quiet!
What's the deal with
the payment, Lock?
I hate what this
fucker did to you.
But like I told you in there...
- Yeah.
- No more pro-bono.
LOCK: Yeah, I know.
Here's 20 grand for now.
Then you get to keep
whatever we find
on Johnny's dead
body, all right,
which should be a bundle.
- [exhales]
- All right.
Well, you go
yourself a desperado.
Are we waiting until they
come out and ice city,
or we gonna bust in and
light the motherfuckers up?
No, no, no, no. We wait.
We knock on the door,
do something like that,
it's gonna get all messy.
- [whimpers, sobs]
- JOHNNY: So...
all you have to do is tell
me everything that you know
about this place and then...
Thank you, sweetheart.
You get to go home, to
the nice, happy family
in the photograph.
[sobs]
Okay? Look at me.
Careful.
If, uh... [smacks lips]
If you make one little mistake,
forget to tell me something,
or uh, make up some shit
that gets me fucked,
me and Clyde here
are gonna go down
to 85 Angel Briar and Cranston.
We're going to
introduce ourselves
to the family.
- Okay?
- [whimpers]
Yes, yes, yes, yes.
All right.
So...
here we go.
Oh, oh, God. Oh, God.
[whimpers]
Oh, oh. Oh. Oh, no, no.
That's disgusting, man.
All I was gonna do
is free your hands,
so you could draw us a map.
[sobs]
JOHNNY: I fuckin'
hate pee-ers.
[breathes heavily]
You always get the pee-ers.
[groans]
It's disgusting.
Stop being so dramatic.
JOHNNY: You animal!
[pants]
Okay.
So, what happens now is
you are going to draw us
a little map.
With all little guards on it.
Okay? If you do that,
I'm gonna let you live.
- CLIFF: Okay.
- That sound right?
CLIFF: Y... yes.
Okay. Go on.
[pants]
JOHNNY: Go on!
[grunts]
- [chuckles]
- CLIFF: Okay. Okay.
- Come on, Cliff boy! Come on!
- [Cliff screaming]
Okay, okay. Fuck!
[Clyde laughing]
[Cliff grunts]
CLIFF: Oh. [grunts]
- Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.
- CLYDE: Go on then.
There's, um...
a safety deposit box.
By the... the inside gate.
There's two in the cash room.
And one guy, he's... he's
in... He's in charge.
He just... he...
walks around, just
doing perimeter checks.
[whimpers]
CLYDE: That's a lot of guys.
[smacks lips]
Yeah.
That is a lot of guys, isn't it?
[Cliff breathes shakily]
Butcher, Baker, and
the Candlestick maker?
Uh-huh!
All right. On three.
One.
Two... oh.
[groans]
LOCK: Geez!
[Johnny grunts] Come on.
- [Clyde grunts]
- Come on.
- ONE TIME: Move!
- [grunts]
Fuck! Shit!
[chuckles]
[Lock grunts]
()
Funny, Johnny! Very funny!
Hi, Lock!
[chuckles]
Come on, Johnny.
Let's make this easy, huh?
How about no prison?
Yeah. Fuck that!
What do you say, huh?
()
You gonna die no matter what.
()
[grunts]
Who the hell is that?
ONE TIME: Does it matter?
They're fuckin' shooting at us!
Get in, baby.
()
LOCK: Get him!
Who the hell was that?
I have no idea.
()
()
What?
I'm afraid, uh, bad news.
It's...
it's Zhang.
()
[breathes heavily]
Hey, darling.
[imitates gunshots]
[speaks Mandarin]
They have no clue.
The stone was very close.
[speaks Mandarin]
Shall we engage?
[kisses]
[indistinct chatter
in background]
[grunts]
()
BUTCHER: Mm?
()
Mm.
()
'Cause you belong to me
'Cause we belong together
[exhales]
[sniffs]
Valhalla awaits.
[grunts]
BUTCHER: Oh, man!
()
Oh, Johnny!
Hey, little fella!
- [chuckles]
- JOHNNY: Great to see you.
Hey, Clyde.
Howdy.
So...
whatcha up to?
- BUTCHER: Been gambling a lot.
- [chuckles]
Well, it's funny that
you should say "gambling"
because me and Clyde here,
we're gonna rip off a casino.
You want in?
BUTCHER: Do I get
to kill people?
Honey, I double-damn
guarantee it.
[scoffs]
Oh, before I can commit,
I need to ask you a
very important question.
[chuckles]
Left or right?
Huh?
Just real quick.
Left or right?
Left.
Okay.
[exhales sharply]
Okay, I'm in.
- CLYDE: Yay!
- Oh, great!
[chuckles]
Uh, hey, big guy?
Seen much of Baker these days?
Oh, shit. You didn't hear.
()
I would rather be a
pencil than a pencil case
I'd rather be a basket
than a basketcase
Oh.
[chuckles]
That's Baker.
[crowd clamoring]
()
[chuckles]
()
[laughs]
JOHNNY: Whoo!
[cheering]
()
()
No.
This is so boring. Who
is picking this shit out?
Who is doing this to me?
Because this is my free time.
I don't have time for this shit.
No.
Go, change.
Let's make it worth it.
I don't know what the fuck
you were so happy about.
You should have known when
you looked in the mirror
that that wasn't it.
Not a vibe. Next.
[inhales, exhales]
ALANA: Oh my God!
Sweet Jesus! This is
what I'm talking about.
Look at this. Holy
shit, yes! Mm.
I love it.
Uh, one second.
Can you give us a minute?
Did I say, leave?
Or did I say,
"Give us a minute"?
[inhales, exhales]
Okay. Let's do it.
Daddy? I have great news.
FATHER: Make it
fast. Daddy's busy.
ALANA: Well, profits
have never been better.
And yes, we did hit a few
hiccups along the way,
but that is all
smoothed out now.
FATHER: What did you do
about Johnny and Clyde?
Well, they're just zits
waiting to be popped.
FATHER: Always
something with you.
Daddy, sir, um...
I was thinking...
I've been here for a few years.
And I have turned
this dusty, shit place
into a world-class
resort, and...
maybe it's time that
I could come home,
you know?
I really miss
you. I miss Vegas.
FATHER: You made a mess.
Now, clean it up.
And then, and only
then can you come home.
I won't let you down.
FATHER: And Alana, darling?
Yes, Daddy?
FATHER: I know everything.
Of course, you do.
FATHER: No mistakes, right?
Bye, Daddy. I love... oh.
Get fucking dressed!
What the fuck?
Fucking work.
I'm only the fucking
person that works
in this goddamn
fucking bullshit.
[whimpers]
CANDLESTICK: So...
I think the word
I'm looking for...
is respect.
Or really it's a
lack thereof it.
[whimpers]
CANDLESTICK: Now,
one of you...
has been stealing my newspaper.
Now, I know it's been
a long three days.
And two of you did nothin'.
Now, you...
you think I don't know.
Oh, but I do. Oh, I do.
And if you don't answer me,
all three of you get gutted.
Now, can you please
spare your pals
and cop to what you did?
[whimpers]
Sir, please look at him!
He's been dead for two days!
So he is.
But if this is
some kind of trick,
I will fucking gut you.
[sobs]
You're not even on my route!
I don't even think
you're a subscriber.
[sobs]
Shh!
()
Well, no answer. Let's go.
Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh.
I think I hear some
movement around there.
- Oh, God! Son of a bitch.
- BAKER: He's home.
I told you, if I saw you again,
I'd...
I'd give you the
biggest fricking hug.
- [laughs]
- [Johnny exclaims]
- JOHNNY: Oh, it's good to see you.
- Oh, there she is.
[laughs]
CANDLESTICK: Holy shit!
The whole gang's here.
Baker, Butcher!
- [Baker chuckles]
- Now, what the hell
in God's name y'all
doin' out here?
Well, we got a little job
for you if you're interested.
- It's a...
- Hell, yeah, papito. I'm in.
Yeah. Well, I didn't even
get to tell you about...
Well, fuck that shit, homes.
I'm in. So, come on in.
Come on. Come on. Come on.
JOHNNY: Hey!
[laughs]
Whoa! You, uh... you got...
No, no, no, no, no, no.
They just left. They just
left. No, no, no, no, amigo.
Come on, please. Please.
[speaks Spanish]
Come on. Come on.
BAKER: Oh, it's cool.
[clears throat]
[Candlestick snickering]
What are we stealing?
[both chuckle]
Who we killing?
Hopefully, all of
the above, chico.
- Yes!
- CLYDE: Yes!
- [cheers]
- [laughs]
Chico!
[exclaims]
()
[gunshots in background]
[guard screaming]
Tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk.
Oh. Sheriff Lock.
How nice to finally
meet you in person.
It's just Lock.
You know I'm not
sheriff anymore.
I do.
()
Miss, are you okay?
ALANA: I'm fine, Guy.
I'm pretty sure Mr. Lock
is gonna behave himself.
Yeah, I'll be a good boy.
We're good, Guy. Goodbye.
GUY: Pick his ass up.
You wanna sit down?
()
ALANA: Well?
I'll be quick.
Two years ago, Johnny
and Clyde killed my kid.
My, uh...
daughter.
Mmhmm.
And then your wife left. And
then you started drinking.
A lot.
Combination of
that and obsession
with your daughter's
killer, abused some power,
broke some rules,
got booted from the
police department.
It's a painfully tragic,
weirdly common tale
of a wayward lawman.
Point, please.
Those two shitbums
that killed my little girl
are gonna hit your safe.
Well, that would
be awfully foolish,
because we have the best
security in the world.
[chuckles] Oh,
no. Not that safe.
The one no one knows about.
Yeah!
[laughs]
That one.
[chuckles]
I'm sure I don't know
what you're talking about.
I'm sure you do.
Are you alone, Mr. Lock?
Hmm! Maybe.
Maybe not.
What do you want?
How about a team-up?
I can handle this
before it ever starts.
Oh my God. That's super cute.
You guys, he wants a job.
LOCK: No, no, no, no. I
don't want anything from you.
Just first dibs on
doing Johnny and Clyde.
That's my fee.
Mm...
okay.
Oh, nice.
I can get movin' on right away.
- I'll get beatin' down on those two pieces of shit.
- Guy.
Guy.
You have no idea
just how miserable
I'm gonna make their lives.
What are you doing?
Oh, come on. Come on. This
is not necessary, is it?
You don't have to... You
don't... hey, hey, hey!
Oh! Come on!
Hey, fuck off!
We don't use that kind
of language around here.
Well, suck my
dick, motherfucker.
How's that for...
[groans, coughs]
LOCK: All right.
Leavin'. I'm leavin'.
Oh, shit.
You got no fuckin' clue
what you're dealing with.
All right?
I think we'll be fine.
LOCK: Fuck me.
Don't touch me, pal.
[pants]
We'll escort him
off the property.
[clicks tongue] No.
What you're gonna do is line
all these little shits up
and flush.
Of course, miss.
ALANA: Guy.
Call the Elder.
I want Bakwas.
[speaks Spanish]
In that casino just so happens
to be on the same grounds where
the Infernal Order of Light
performed their
mass suicide, bro,
which means it's
protected by the Bakwas.
Okay, what the fuck is a Bakwas?
What the fuck is the
Infernal Order of Light?
CANDLESTICK: Yo!
The Bakwas and
the Infernal Order
are the first fuckin'
documented Satanists to land
in America, bro.
Uh-huh.
And I love you, but
this is just a bullshit
ghost story to scare
children, right?
It's... it's, uh...
Completely fuckin' true, yo!
[breathes deeply]
()
JOHNNY: Okay.
He's gotten a little crazier
since the last time I saw him.
The wig is new.
()
What the fuck is he doing?
I told y'all.
[tuts]
[exhales]
Man, these cats were
into some dark shit.
There's more to the story?
BUTCHER, BAKER AND CLYDE: Shh!
All right. Fine. Fuck it.
The pilgrims landed in Plymouth
in 1620, seeking
religious freedom.
But in 1625, a different
group came over,
also seeking some
religious freedom.
Hmm.
A Satanic cult.
Oh, fuck.
Yeah.
Now, the colonies
were fuckin' booming.
Not knowing these
crazy fuckin' Satanists
were just a spittin'
distance away.
Well, the townspeople
figured it out.
And they formed a posse
to rid the order
from their lands.
[crowd clamoring]
But The Infernal order knew
the people were coming.
So, you know what they did?
They lined 'em up, and they
burned 'em at the stake.
They tried.
Before they could...
the entire cult...
stood in a giant circle.
[Internal Order chanting]
And they all ceremoniously...
slit their own throats.
Oh.
Wait.
Why... why did the whole
cult have to kill themselves?
Suffering, pain, and hate!
Blood...
and the tears...
of the fallen.
It pooled, and it
created a massive death.
A god they worshipped.
Their god of death.
Before you see him, you
can hear children...
[children wailing]
weeping.
You know, like a...
like a warning.
Okay. I'll be taking me
back to the nuthouse.
JOHNNY: No, no, no. Wait,
wait, wait, wait. Shh, shh.
He's just a little...
He's just... He's
just bein' fun, right?
Shit's real, dude.
I believe you.
CLYDE: Me, too.
- Yeah. Me fuckin' three, which is why I'm out.
- All right.
BAKER: I'll live to blow
shit up another day.
You talkin' about
cameras, armed guards,
and fuckin' ghost killers
runnin' around here,
I might be the fuck
crazy, but I'm not stupid.
I'm... I'm done.
No, no, no. Look.
Baker, Baker, Baker, Baker,
please, please, please.
- I'm done.
- Please, please, please, please.
Brother, brother,
brother. We need you.
[sighs]
Trust me. None of
us want to die.
I kinda do!
- Will you please shh, shh, shh.
- [Clyde chuckling]
Baker, Baker. Look at me.
BAKER: This is so
fuckin' stupid, bro.
So, you said
you hear little kids crying
before he comes to kill you?
It's enough to make you
piss your pants, huh.
Shh.
Well, this is so
fucking stupid, man.
[scoffs]
- But?
- BUTCHER: And?
- Fine, man.
- Hey!
[Butcher laughs]
[Candlestick cheers]
BAKER: This guy's...
[Candlestick exclaims]
BAKER: What the fuck
is he doing now?
[Butcher laughing]
CANDLESTICK: You
guys want some drugs?
- [cheering]
- [laughs, exclaims]
Whoo!
()
()
[smooches]
[Elder chanting]
()
()
Oh, you got pumped
too good for you.
[grunts]
Eat the cookie, homie.
()
[Elder chanting continues]
()
()
()
ELDER: It is done.
Bakwas will remain
until all are dead.
How long will Bakwas
be in my control?
Uh, Bakwas will obey
and cannot leave casino grounds
while you possess the stone.
I feel I must warn you.
Bakwas was our
cult's most ferocious
and glorious warrior.
But over time, he has
grown full of rage
and has become erratic
and unpredictable.
ALANA: Have you told any of your
people that I have the stone?
ELDER: Of course, not.
My order would excommunicate
me if they knew
I was talking to you
and not your father.
So, you're the
only one who knows?
It's our little secret.
Mm, great.
[groans]
Two can keep a secret
if one of you is dead.
[whistles]
GUY: Good morning, miss.
Everything is in
place for today, miss.
Wonderful.
It's just...
I... I just, uh...
didn't see the stone.
Okay.
And why pray tell were
you looking for the stone?
I just wanted to
ensure its safety.
You just are very lucky that
I'm in a good mood today.
The stone is with
me at all times.
Of course.
Please feel free.
- Don't straighten up. It's all good.
- GUY: Uh, yes.
Please feel free to
find your way out.
- GUY: I just...
- Mmhmm.
[Guy mumbles]
So, here is the basic idea.
There are three floors.
We're gonna get in, we're
gonna go to the basement,
and we're gonna get the money,
and then we're gonna come
back out the way we came.
That's it?
- That's the fucking plan?
- JOHNNY: Yeah!
- It sounds great, John.
- [exclaims]
Yeah.
That's a horrible fuckin' plan.
What... what about the guards?
JOHNNY: Oh, a few guards.
One here, uh, here.
Yeah. Couple of guards.
BAKER: And?
And...
w... what the fuck
do you mean "and"?
- We gotta kill 'em.
- [laughs]
[imitates gunshots]
Listen, Baker. Relax, man.
I'm not taking this lightly.
It just so happens,
it's a very simple job.
But just to clarify,
here it goes.
Clyde and I quietly
take out the guards.
()
And then Baker blows the doors.
And that's when
the guards come in.
()
JOHNNY: And then Candle
is gonna crack the safe.
Wait. Wait, wait. John.
I don't know how
to crack a safe.
Oh, that's okay, buddy.
We're gonna work it out.
We're gonna work it out.
- But I...
- He's gonna do fine, isn't he?
[cheers]
JOHNNY: We get the money.
And we live happily ever after.
The fuckin' end.
It's not remotely
gonna go like that.
And you know that.
It's called, "positive
manifestation", Baker.
- You ain't never read The Secret?
- [chuckles]
BUTCHER: Oh, you
gotta read it.
It's so empowering.
You gotta read it.
Johnny, do y'all even have guns?
I've seen one pistol
this entire time.
[cackles]
BAKER: The fuck is so funny?
Well, I don't know.
Do we got guns, or you got guns?
- Oh, yeah. Now, that'll do nicely.
- [laughs]
I love you, Johnny.
Okay.
We wait until they file
in. And then we go...
Coming through
the service entrance,
then we cut them off.
I heard you the first time.
- Yeah.
- I got you.
All right. All right.
Ooh!
This is my joy!
Ah!
We could be the
future together
Yeah.
You hear that?
Yeah, I can...
- I feel it. Yeah.
- All right.
Yeah.
It's fight time.
Yeah.
ONE TIME: Let's go.
We could be the
future together
Ridin' out
()
[Pot moaning]
[Honey moaning]
No, no.
[Honey smooches]
[Pot moaning]
()
()
()
I'm thinking we should leave.
It's just...
I only got room for one of
you. Here. Come, get a towel.
The problem is...
I can't decide
who's' gonna come,
who's gonna stay.
Uh, so, I think I'll
let you guys decide.
()
Wow.
I always knew you were
the strongest link.
Good job, baby girl.
Hi. Mm, yeah.
I'm gonna be needing
another pair.
The last two you gave me...
broke.
Yeah, it's just that you
got me blonde last time.
I don't... okay,
yeah. Surprise me.
Great.
I'll let you know where
to ship them when I land.
[hums]
Okay. Just as we planned.
Honey, I'm gonna need
you to go over there
and strut ass as a distraction.
I'm sorry, it's
very disrespectful.
I apologize.
It's for the money.
That's right, baby.
Where's Candle?
[groans]
See, a fuckin' liability.
Oh, stop. He's fun.
CANDLESTICK: Hey, John!
I got the first two.
All clear, buddy!
[groans]
BUTCHER: Yeah, you did.
- Okay, Baker.
- [scoffs]
You're up.
()
Okay.
Blow this shit up.
All right. Let me
just take a look.
Steel door hinges.
Now, that's cute. [chuckles]
Nothing I can't get
through, though.
Hey, I put together
a little combo.
A little, uh, gasoline,
black powder mix.
Should definitely do the trick.
Ah, fuse is too long.
[spits]
Yeah, you might wanna
back up at least 20 feet.
- [chuckling]
- BAKER: And cover your ears.
JOHNNY: Hey, Baker.
- You think that wick might be a little too short?
- Mmhmm.
BAKER: Johnny.
I've been doing
this for a while.
Of course, the wick
is long enough.
Okay.
()
Babe. This doesn't look
anything like your map.
You know, I can't draw, baby.
LOCK: Drop it!
Everybody's dying today.
Fuck, yeah!
- [exclaims]
- [Butcher chuckles]
- Hey, Butcher.
- Tell me that's your fucking girlfriend
behind us right there.
VOICE (OS): Security
lockdown enforced.
ALANA: Hiya, folks!
Eyes up here, please.
Sorry, you...
You're interrupting.
Who the fuck are you?
The biggest mistake
of your little
shitty life, John.
- That's kinda hurtful.
- Mmhmm.
I feel like that's
kinda hurtful.
Some of you came here for money.
Some of you came here for glory.
And some of you came
here for revenge.
But now, you're all trapped.
You're all dead by sunrise.
[Johnny laughing]
Yay!
[Clyde chuckling]
Now, because I'm a good sport
and I wanna see an
even playing field,
I'm gonna let you know
that the bottom floor
is what you want.
There's more money there
than you will ever see
in all of your
combined lifetimes.
If you can get to
it, it's all yours.
Great! Thank you.
That sounds easy enough.
Well, you might not feel
that way after you meet
our surprise guest.
Everybody, meet Bakwas.
Oh, shit.
He's...
Fucking...
Real?
All right, guys. Let's
kick rocks, kids!
LOCK: You're a
dead man, Johnny!
[groans]
[groans]
LOCK: Shoot him!
Shoot him again!
Blow its fuckin' head up!
Headshot! Head!
[screams]
LOCK: One Time!
[grunts]
LOCK: Goodbye. Stay away
the hell, motherfucker!
CANDLESTICK: Go, go,
go, go, go. Go, go.
Ah.
Thanks, El Ma.
()
CANDLESTICK: Hey guys, go, go.
[grunts]
CANDLESTICK: I got you.
()
First floor, blue team.
Targets are close.
Soften them up.
Copy that.
Last seen in corridor C.
We're at the last
point of entry, sir.
[grunts]
Okay. I'm up.
[grunts]
- Uh-huh.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
Let the boy do his thing.
[kisses]
It's okay. It's okay.
[kisses]
Hey, guys.
Well, what are you waitin' for?
[grunting, groaning]
()
Oh!
[grunting]
()
Look at me, you son of a bitch.
[groans]
[grunts]
[guard 1 groans]
[screams]
()
[grunts]
[guard 2 groans]
[Butcher laughing]
[grunts]
Hey, guys. We're good.
Really great work, buddy.
Yeah, wow.
Butcher, I love you, too.
BUTCHER: I love you, too, man.
[laughing]
[breathes deeply]
Kill the scums.
Okay, wow. All right. Gunfire.
- CANDLESTICK: I got you.
- JOHNNY: We got a gunfight.
[grunts]
JOHNNY: Ah, come
on, you fuckers.
I'm open to suggestions
if anyone has any.
You got a grenade?
Nope.
()
[grunts]
[masked guard muffled screams]
CANDLESTICK: Oh,
John, look. Holy shit.
()
[muffled groans]
()
[grunts]
[groans]
That guy's fuckin' sick.
Wait, guys. Let's fuckin' go!
JOHNNY: Sick. Okay, let's go.
Oh, shit.
ALANA: Guy.
Miss. Thank God you're okay.
Well, Guy.
I can hear that
you're out of breath.
And I don't like that.
Are you fucking this up?
It's Bakwas.
He's killing everyone
including our own men.
This isn't the way it
was supposed to go down.
I'm beginning to
be very concerned
for my own safety.
Yes. Of course, you're scared.
There's a mythical
demonic slasher
chasing you around,
you should be.
Miss.
I'm afraid abandoning my post
is my only chance of survival.
I mean, you can try.
You'll just never make it out.
It's not you, Guy. It's me.
Is that what you needed to hear?
I sent Bakwas in to
clean all of this up
with no witnesses.
And sadly...
you're kind of a witness.
After all I've done
for you over the years?
You ungrateful bitch!
Guy.
Die with some dignity, would ya?
You have done a wonderful job.
I just don't need you anymore.
GUY: This isn't over.
I promise you that.
()
- One, two...
- One, two, three!
- Whoo!
- [Johnny grunts]
Come on, bitch!
()
Candle, cover!
[grunts]
- [Clyde grunts]
- JOHNNY: Oh, no.
No, no, no, no, no. Fuck!
CANDLESTICK: Oh, shit!
[grunts]
Hey, hey.
Butcher.
Leave one alive.
BUTCHER: Candle, cover me!
I got you, go!
[grunts]
It's okay. It's okay.
[groans]
[guard groaning]
[grunts]
()
[groans, pants]
You killed my girlfriend.
That's the only
girl I ever loved.
And the only girl
who'll ever love me.
So...
What the fuck?
[groans]
I'm gonna make you pay for that.
[guard groans]
I got a question for you.
Hands or feet?
Nah. I'll answer
that question for ya.
- [grunts]
- [screams]
- [Johnny grunts]
- [guard groans]
[exclaims]
- [Johnny grunts]
- [guard groaning]
[grunts]
Shut the fuck up.
El Ma.
I thought you... I
thought you were dead.
- [chuckles]
- I swear to God you died.
Well, uh, you saved my life.
()
I didn't know what I was
gonna do without you.
[kisses]
Aw!
I love you, Johnny.
I love you, man.
[breathes deeply]
()
Soldiers
Men, if you are
still alive, flee.
All is lost.
If you see Bakwas, run.
Or this place will be your tomb.
This is team leader signing off.
May God help you.
Because no one else will.
()
The money!
[all chuckle]
CANDLESTICK: Hey, Johnny.
I'm gonna donate my portion
to the abused animals
uh, foundation.
JOHNNY: That's so good.
- What?
BUTCHER: Well, I
haven't felt that one.
What's that, little guy?
BUTCHER: Fear.
- [groans]
- [Butcher grunts]
BUTCHER: I got you.
CLYDE: Can y'all
stop fuckin' around?
It's a little
slippery back here.
()
[children wailing]
What?
The motherfucker's
behind me, right?
[grunts]
Go, go, go! Let's go!
Candle! No!
[Johnny grunts]
- Hey, what are you doing?
- Goodbye, my love.
- JOHNNY: Come on, Butcher. Let's go.
- [kisses]
Oh, come on. It's my time!
- [groans] - We're rich!
Let's kick rocks! Let's go!
[grunts]
Okay.
That should hold him
for a minute at least.
Fuck.
No. Come on, man. You're
fucking coming with us.
BUTCHER: No, Johnny,
Johnny, Johnny.
I don't like the world
very much, I never have.
[pants]
BUTCHER: I'm just
killin' time.
When you guys came over,
I was about to
fucking kill myself
out of shit fucking boredom.
You gave me a purpose.
Fucking quest!
It was never about the money.
It's about one last
adventure with my friends.
And you gave me that.
Thanks.
You're welcome, man.
Don't be sad.
'Cause tonight, I
dine in Valhalla.
[chuckles]
Fuck! Go! Just go!
And Johnny.
Try not to be such an asshole.
I'll try my best.
I'll see you in Valhalla.
[chuckles]
Go. Clyde, take care of him.
- CLYDE: Okay.
- Let's go.
()
[Butcher shrieks]
()
There's always somebody better.
[snarls]
()
[grunts]
()
You going easy on me?
[groans]
()
[grunts, groans]
[pants]
[grunts]
[groans, chokes]
[children wailing]
[snarls]
()
ALANA: I think my time
here is done, Father.
Everything is wrapped up
and delivered as promised.
Of course.
That was all removed
before those two
clowns got here.
ALANA: I took all
the real money.
All that's left is
the counterfeit cash
to buy us some time.
Oh my God, you're delicious
Paris, Monte Carlo
yum, yum, yum, yum, yum
See you in Vegas.
()
()
()
[pants]
()
So, you're just
not gonna kill us?
I worked for Alana's father.
Cool.
Who the fuck's Alana?
ZHANG: You don't remember?
On big screen, the lady
who was telling you
you're gonna die.
Oh, yeah. I hated her.
- CLYDE: She was so rude.
- JOHNNY: Yeah.
What's that crazy bitch's
dad gotta do with us?
Shut the fuck up, bitch!
He was watching you
two for a while.
He was impressed, but not me.
There's no magic.
Only ordinary.
If not for him,
you'd both be dead.
Motherfucker, come
this way! Go, go, go!
Hey, baby.
Baby, I think she just
called you "ordinary".
Am I ordinary?
Come on, hurry!
From now on, your fuckin'
fate is connected to...
[grunts, groans]
- [Lock grunts]
- [groans]
Fuck! Fuckin'...
[grunts]
You maggot motherfucker!
- [grunts]
- Fuck!
You killed my little girl!
Piece of shit!
JOHNNY: I killed
a lot of people.
[grunts]
LOCK: Red-leather-pant-wearing
motherfucker!
[pants]
LOCK: Don't you...
Don't you ever wonder why
your dad never called?
Because he didn't care.
LOCK: No.
It's not because he didn't care.
It's because he's dead.
Johnny killed him.
Johnny killed your dad.
He had his pal
clean up his mess.
JOHNNY: Hey, Butcher.
Thank God you picked
up. Hey, listen.
Uh, I'm gonna need a
little clean-up job.
You're gonna want to
bring some bleach.
And some tarps.
LOCK: Put it all together.
You're smart.
Clyde, give me the
gun. Come on, honey.
Give me the gun.
[groans]
[groans]
Thanks, baby. He was
really fuckin' me up.
Did you...
did you really kill my dad?
Yeah.
Sorry about that.
[groans]
Hey.
That's the most romantic thing
anyone's ever done for me.
[sobs]
[smooches]
No time for love, Dr. Jones.
Oh, fuck.
[indistinct speech]
Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait.
He can't fuckin' move.
He's reached the, uh...
cult city limits or some shit.
- Johnny, we gotta go.
- No, look at him.
He can't move. We beat you!
You Grim-Reaper-lookin'
motherfucker
with your fuckin' poncho!
CLYDE: You crusty-ass bitch!
[laughs mockingly]
- You dried-up piece of shit!
- [chuckles]
You know, it's funny how
life turns out sometimes.
CLYDE: Yeah.
[Clyde hums]
[groans]
[groans, coughs]
()
[laughs]
[children wailing]
I met Murder on the way.
He had a mask like Castlereagh.
Very smooth he looked, yet grim.
Seven bloodhounds followed him.
One by one and two by two...
he then tossed them
human hearts to chew.
And then Anarchy
rode and came on a white horse,
splashed with blood.
Very pale.
He was very pale.
Like death in the apocalypse.
()
()
ALANA: Guy, you survived.
How wonderful!
I always had faith that
you would persevere.
()
[smacks lips]
The stone.
Give it to me!
Oh, is that all you want?
Here.
[chuckles]
GUY: Ah!
- There's someone else who wants to see you.
- [children wailing]
[scoffs]
[chuckles]
I, uh...
You know who.
Bakwas works for me.
He does what I say.
And I say, to kill him.
I have the stone.
You don't control him anymore.
Oh, fuck you.
I said to kill Guy now!
[Bakwas snarls]
()
[breathes shakily]
[Guy breathes heavily]
Things will be different
when I am in charge.
We will treat you
with respect, dignity.
We will honor the
sacred bond that...
[groans]
()
[children wailing]
()
You got a dagger hidden
under your pillow
You've been sleepin' with
the devil in your bed
You got a secret
And you're livin'
in the shadows
Silver bullets, we
were better off dead
A thousand years,
let's make it two
Forever wasn't ever
any better without you
And in your eyes
something moved
I checked you
then I held you
Then you killed
my self-control
When soft words are spoken
The spell breaks when
the daylight's broken
Is it all right to face you?
I'm a little too
afraid to chase you
I was honest when I told ya
That young love
it'll never get older
When you're heels
up head over
We can run away into
another nightmare
Under the cover of
the full moonlight
You're shakin' even
when you tell me
That you're not scared a
ceremony and a sacrifice
With this curse, I duly
wed to hell and back
And heart attacks the
sacred oath was read
In a crimson night
true love is dead
You chanted it
while standin' there
Remember what we said
When soft words are spoken
The spell breaks when
the daylight's broken
Is it all right to face you?
I'm a little too
afraid to chase you
I was honest when I told ya
That young love
it'll never get older
When you're heels
up head over
Forever wasn't ever
any better without you
When soft words are spoken
The spell breaks when
the daylight's broken
Is it all right to face you?
I'm a little too
afraid to chase you
I was honest when I told ya
That young love
it'll never get older
When you're heels
up head over
You can come
And be that guy
I'll be the one who
keeps you warm at night
You can come
and be that guy
I'll be the one who
keeps you warm at night
You can come
and be that guy
I'll be the one who
keeps you warm at night
You can come
and be that guy
()
()
()
()
()
SUSAN: I know. Trust me.
I don't plan to be Nancy Drew,
but I'm gonna blow this
story wide the fuck open.
Her father's company literally
gets away with murder.
And that is gonna change
as long as you keep your balls
and go ahead with my story.
Yeah. Of course, I'm
wearing the wire.
Yeah. I'm at her office now.
Wish me luck.
()
()
It's a Carcano 91/38.
This is the gun
that killed Kennedy.
SUSAN: I thought the
actual rifle was on display
at the Texas Book Depository.
That would be a fake.
SUSAN: And you
have it, because...
Please sit.
I'm sorry if this comes off as
rude, but I'm just fascinated.
Can I ask you what does
something like that even cost?
It must be priceless.
Well, I feel like you didn't
come here for a history lesson.
So, why don't we
just skip all that,
and you can hand me that
wire that you're wearing.
[chuckles softly]
I'm not wearing a wire.
ALANA: Ah, come on.
Is it in your bra?
Did they hide it in your skirt?
Okay. This is absurd.
ALANA: Well, here's the thing.
This is gonna go a lot
smoother if you don't treat me
like I'm an idiot. Right?
This casino generates
billions of dollars.
We have the top
anti-intelligence equipment
in the world.
Your microphone was screaming
frequencies from the second
you parked your car.
Can I have the wire now?
It was in the bra.
It's always in the bra.
Great. Why are you here?
One word.
Bakwas.
[inhales sharply]
Well, that's a myth.
Campfire stories.
Well, what about all
the missing people
on or near casino property?
Could it have anything to
do with the undead slasher
that's been stalking
these lands for years?
A slasher that you now control?
ALANA: I'm sorry.
Did you just listen to
the words that you said?
Corporate slasher mind control?
It's hilarious Scooby Doo shit.
Who do you work for again?
Is it National Enquirer?
Daily Mail?
[scoffs softly]
Ms. Hart.
This story is happening with
or without your consent.
You can give me your
side of the story,
or I can do it without you.
Personally, I'd much
rather get your take.
What do you say?
[clicks tongue]
I say, how's 2 million?
SUSAN: 2 million what?
Dollars, of course.
SUSAN: Wow.
You really are
full of surprises.
ALANA: This...
is an NDA.
All you have to do
is sign on that line,
and you walk out of here
with life-changing money.
You can't buy your
way out of this one.
I don't want your blood money.
You don't?
Are you sure?
Positive.
Okay.
Well...
I tried.
()
[sighs]
()
Oh.
- Hi.
- GUY: Yes, miss.
Uh, yeah.
I'm gonna need a clean-up
crew and a body double.
We could like,
deep fake her face.
GUY: Of course.
Right away, miss.
M-m-m-m-met her
with a suit on
But I don't know what to do
Message in a bottle and
the bitches gonna pool
Put it in a taxi and
it didn't go through
Now, I don't know what
to, don't know what to
Don't know what to do, yeah
Goddamn, these cellphones,
goddamn, these technologies
[crowd clamoring]
High time you turn around
But you're only gonna
turn your back on me
Yeah, I want to drag it out,
not one for pleasantries
If I gotta stay up all night
That's the way it's gonna be
'Cause I'm never
gonna sleep again
Never gonna sleep again,
never gonna sleep again
Never gonna sleep,
but it wasn't a secret
[man speaking
indistinctly over speaker]
You didn't receive it
Goddamn, these cellphones,
goddamn, these technologies
If I gotta stay up all night,
that's the way it's gonna be
But I'm never
wanna sleep again
Everybody said that
I was only being used
Turnin' on my TV, it
was just fake news
They marry in a coal
mine, singin' little tunes
Tweedledee-dee
and a... woo-hoo
Goddamn, these cellphones,
goddamn, these technologies
It's high time
you turn around
But you're only gonna
turn your back on me
Yeah, I want to drag it out,
not one for pleasantries
If I gotta stay up all night,
that's the way it's gonna be
'Cause I never
wanna sleep again
Never gonna sleep again,
never gonna sleep again
Never gonna sleep,
but it wasn't a secret
You didn't receive it
Goddamn, these cellphones,
goddamn, these technologies
If I gotta stay up all night,
that's the way it's gonna be
But I'm never
gonna sleep again
Whoo!
()
()
Hey!
There was a man, he
liked to drink too much
And then one day
[indistinct lyrics]
They poisoning
the wrong man
He drank it all up
What ya staring at?
Oh, the...
Ah.
Can I help you with something?
Yeah, please, and thank you.
40 on one.
40 on one.
Uh, that'd be all?
Have a safe ride
back to Rhode Island.
What's your name, friend?
JERRY: J... J... J... Jerry.
Well, J... J... J... Jerry,
I'm p... p... perplexed
why you think I'm
going to Rhode Island.
Oh, your... your plates,
they say, "Rhode Island."
Why would a man
of such stature as
yourself give a fine fuck
if I'm coming or
going to Rhode Island?
Fuck off! We're closed!
Now...
I don't want to assume
anything here, Jerry.
But, um,
you must have people
coming and going
all the time here.
Do you ask every single
one of those people
where they're going?
I didn't... I didn't...
I didn't ask where.
You're right!
Goddammit! You're right. You
didn't ask. You know why?
'Cause you already fucking knew.
N... no.
Your plates. You've
got Rhode Island...
P... p... p... p... plates.
[sighs]
Wait. What was that?
What? What was what?
The gun.
You just... you just
looked at my gun.
No. I didn't.
Oh, I fucking hate that.
Hate what?
You just did it again.
N... no, I...
Pick it up.
No.
[breathes heavily]
Pick it up.
I'm not gonna ask you again!
Pick it the fuck up!
Ooh! Hey, Tex.
[breathes deeply]
Pull the trigger.
Please just leave. Just leave.
Just l... l... go.
[breathes shakily]
Jerry.
Some men, they seek greatness
while other men have
greatness thrust upon them.
Do you feel that, Jerry?
That's greatness thrusting
itself into your asshole.
Now, pull the fucking trigger.
Ooh! Oh. Jesus Christ, Jerry.
- The safety's on.
- [Jerry breathes heavily]
What, you think I'm some
kind of reckless fuck? Huh?
That's a loaded firearm. Gun
safety is very important.
Bye-bye now.
Ooh!
Sorry. I love these.
[groans]
()
You are one gorgeous bitch.
[chuckles]
[grunts softly]
You know, I love you.
You ready to kick rocks, baby?
()
[snoring]
ELIZEBETH: Fuck you!
My dad's a sheriff!
He's gonna find you
and fucking kill you!
()
JOHNNY: You're being selfish.
Ooh, you sound scared!
[hums]
Do me a favor.
Call up your daddy.
Your face...
[breathes heavily]
Daddy!
[screams]
Daddy!
[humming]
[chuckles]
[screams]
[screams, pants]
[indistinct chatter on TV]
LOCK: [indistinct speech]
[sobs]
It's okay. It's okay.
[grunts, coughs]
[grunts, exhales shakily]
NEWS ANCHOR 1: And we are
gonna get right on the scene.
We have a breaking story
developing right now.
We're gonna cut right
over to Jesse McPhee
on the scene right now.
Jesse.
JESSE: It is presently unknown
why Johnny and Clyde
have returned to
the ocean state.
Investigators can only speculate
why after a
year-long crime spree
of murder and rampage,
spanning the
entirety of a nation.
REPORTER 1: Police are baffled
as to why the modern-day
Bonnie and Clyde
have chosen to come
back to Rhode Island.
We'll be actively following
this case and reporting
all the action as it develops.
[breathes heavily]
They're fuckin' back.
[grunts]
()
Pick up, pick up.
Come on. Come on.
[groans, sobs]
Told your ass not to run.
You bail-jumpin' motherfucker.
[screams, groans]
Fuckin' bitch.
[scoffs softly]
ONE TIME: Hello.
LOCK: Hey, it's me.
Oh, fuck, no, Lock. Uh-uh.
Your credits are gone. You
done used them shits up.
Please, pal. You
don't understand.
Nah, man. You don't understand.
You still owe me
from the last time.
You lost your badge
and I lost my job,
because of you.
They're back.
Shit.
All right.
What's the plan now?
Oh, yes! My man!
All right.
[breathes heavily]
I'll get back to you
ASAP with the details.
There ain't enough rocks
around here for them
to crawl under.
But I'll find 'em.
[chuckles]
LOCK: I will find them.
All right. I got your back.
You're a good man.
[chuckles, pants]
()
LOCK: Yeah.
[chuckles]
LOCK: Yeah.
CLYDE: Purrin' like a kitten.
JOHNNY: You are a
remarkable woman.
[sighs]
Tell me again how we first met.
Oh, baby.
I told you that story
a thousand times.
Let's talk about our
present or our future.
Tell me again!
Well...
when I turned 18, and
I could finally leave
that damn foster
home, I went out.
Saw a bit of the world.
Realized it wasn't for me.
If I wasn't gonna be famous,
I was gonna be infamous.
Well, my choice was
obvious. Serial murder.
And then I met you.
And you were the first girl
to make me feel special.
So, I wanted to give
you something special.
A piece of my heart, you know?
The knife I used
on my first kill.
And you promised you
would keep it close
to your heart...
forever.
Ooh!
[giggles]
JOHNNY: And then you told me
about that mean,
old daddy of yours.
And how he used to hurt you.
()
[grunts]
[grunts]
What did my dad say?
Who cares?
I just knew I had
to take care of you.
We'd be the darkest
fairy tale of all time.
What would that fairy tale be?
Oh, you know, boy meets girl.
Girl meets boy.
Boy and girl fall
desperately in love
and kill as many people
as humanly possible.
And live together happily
ever after in infamy.
Johnny and Clyde forever.
[moans]
- [smooches]
- [giggles]
()
()
[groans]
- [laughs]
- [laughs, blows raspberry]
JOHNNY: Okay.
- [grunts]
- [Clyde groans]
[both laugh]
JOHNNY: Good girl.
- [Clyde grunts]
- [groans]
Ah, fuck! You got my ear.
[groans]
Gee, goddammit!
[both laugh]
Again!
[groans]
- [laughs]
- Oh, God!
Baby, that's my ear. You
fucking caught my ear!
- [groans]
- Aw!
Kisses.
- [kisses]
- [groans]
Better?
Mm. Mmhmm.
CLYDE: Oh.
Ooh.
[moans]
()
()
ALANA: Again.
()
()
Again.
Where do we stand?
GUY: Support team
will land at 0800.
Oh my God. Just give me
the fucking time, Guy.
We're not on a naval ship.
8:00 a.m., miss.
Great.
Miss.
Yes?
- Um...
- [clears throat]
Don't you think that...
You know what I hate, Guy?
Do you know what I fucking hate?
Having to repeat myself.
Just make it happen.
Why are you like that?
Why do you look like
that? Are you nervous?
No.
Are you shaking?
No.
Are you scared?
Of course, not.
Okay.
Honey Pot.
Light up.
()
Why are you still here?
Why are you here?
Forgive me, miss.
ALANA: Don't be such a baby!
Fucking fun to do this.
[gunshots]
()
[whistles]
What the fuck is this?
()
MIKE: Hey, what's up,
baby? You need some help?
CLIFF: Hey. Hey!
Hey, hey, hey.
What? What the fuck?
What are you doin'?
Get back in the truck.
We don't have time
for this bullshit.
Hey, sweetie!
[groans]
Not the plan, El Ma!
Not the plan at all.
But you said they
both get out the car.
I know, bubba. I'm sorry.
- It's okay.
- [kisses]
It's okay. The plan
was to kill one.
And have the other one
open the back for us,
'cause it's probably locked.
- Yeah?
- Oh!
Let's see if the driver
has some keys, okay?
Okay.
Okay. Go on.
()
Any keys, baby?
[sighs]
CLYDE: Nada, babe.
Goddammit!
Just a quick little...
idea here.
[pants]
Hey, guys!
So, I got a bomb right here.
What the fuck?
Is that a fuckin' bomb?
Is that a fuckin' bomb?
JOHNNY: Now, you
can either come out
of the car or I can blow
us to kingdom fucking hell.
Oh, what the fuck?
JOHNNY: I'm serious.
It's okay... Hey.
No. It's gonna work.
It's gonna work.
It's gonna work.
Come on. Okay? Look.
Ooh!
[breathing shakily]
Jesus, fuck! Jesus, fuck!
Jesus, fuck! Jesus, fuck!
JOHNNY: No, no, no, no.
You, on your knees.
On your knees, please.
Please don't shoot him yet.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
JOHNNY: Okay, what
have we got here?
Just fixing your hair.
Okay.
JOHNNY: Motherfucker,
no, no, no!
Motherfucker!
What is it, baby?
- [screams]
- [groans]
CLIFF: Fuck! Fuck!
- [groans]
- You think this is funny?
[grunts]
[groans]
It's just the fucking day drop.
[grunts]
JOHNNY: Shoot this
unlucky fucker.
No. No, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait.
Wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait. Wait, wait!
[pants]
Don't... Don't you
guys want money? Huh?
- JOHNNY: Okay, yeah.
- I... I can show you
where all the fuckin'
money in the world is.
JOHNNY: I'm listening.
But uh, you better
not fuck this up.
It's gotta be some
Einstein-level shit.
Okay, okay. There is...
a secret depository.
It's called the cash room.
[slurps]
CLIFF: It looks like a... like a...
like a regular office building.
It just happens to house
the largest stash of cash
on the Eastern Seaboard.
The casino transports
everything there.
Everything.
Um, anything off the
books, it goes there.
- And the... and the...
- [Cliff chuckles]
CLIFF: the funny thing is...
It's... It's not
even that secure.
JOHNNY: Okay. Shut up. Shut
up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up.
Okay, that's... That was
actually interesting.
So, uh, we're actually in a
bit of a compromising position
here with all these dead
bodies on the side of the road,
so, uh...
get a toothbrush.
What?
[groans]
You get the arms,
I get the legs.
Just like we always do.
[grunting]
Oh boy.
()
Yes.
GUY: There's a
problem with truck 84.
ALANA: Well, I don't
know what that means.
So, you're gonna have to give
me more clarity than that, Guy.
Do they have to be here?
ALANA: You know Honey
Pot go wherever I go.
Truck 84 was ambushed.
Failed robbery attempt.
Two men dead, one missing.
ALANA: Truck 84 had
a coin delivery.
I don't think we're dealing
with master criminals here.
ALANA: Okay.
Well, what do you think
we're dealing with?
Last night, Johnny and Clyde
were seen traveling
up the interstate.
Knocked over a gas station.
Killed two men less
than an hour from here.
Little too coincidental for me.
I think it's romantic, no?
Love and blood lost
on the open road.
Two lunatics on a
cross-country kill tour,
leaving behind a wake
of destroyed families
and baffled lawmen,
only to return home
for a victory lap.
Very romantic, miss.
Mm. My team are all over it.
No.
Hey, get me my girl.
[Guy sighs] - ALANA:
Somebody, get me my girl.
Yes, miss.
[sighs]
GUY: This could get messy.
ALANA: Messy is good for this.
Messy is the
opposite of corporate
Which means no one will
suspect that we're behind it.
You catch on quick, Guy.
Guy.
I've been thinking about Bakwas.
You don't want him on this.
No.
But keep him close just in case.
AUCTIONEER: You have
been a great audience.
I have a very, very
special item for you.
Lot 609.
Undoubtedly, the only one
of its kind in the world,
I'm offering to you tonight.
Bidding will open at 500,000.
500,000 is the bid.
5 million.
5 million?
Thank you. 5 million.
5 million going once,
5 million going twice.
Oh. Daddy likes. 9 million!
AUCTIONEER: 9
million on the table.
9 million going once,
9 million going twice.
9 million. Sold
to the gentleman.
Congratulations, sir.
Oh, come to Papa.
This is just marvelous.
[Zhang grunts]
ZHANG: Get me my
stone. Get me my stone.
[Zhang chuckles]
ZHANG: I'll get you your
fucking stone. Get it?
Shit!
[Father speaking
indistinctly over cellphone]
You crazy? They have no magic!
They're so ordinary.
You're idiot.
FATHER: What did you say?
Sorry, sorry I said that.
I... Just...
I know you're the boss.
I listen to you, okay?
Or maybe not!
Fuck you.
()
- [grunts]
- [groans]
[Johnny chuckling]
JOHNNY: Wakey, wakey!
[chuckles]
CLYDE: Babe!
Think you hit him too hard.
Nah! He's all right. See.
[Cliff whimpering]
Can I try?
JOHNNY: Of course, El Ma.
Give it a shot.
- [grunts]
- [groans]
[chuckles]
She can fuckin' hit.
[chuckles]
[groans]
()
LOCK: Come on down
here and hide.
They're right over there.
I want you to see them.
Come on. Shh! Keep it quiet!
What's the deal with
the payment, Lock?
I hate what this
fucker did to you.
But like I told you in there...
- Yeah.
- No more pro-bono.
LOCK: Yeah, I know.
Here's 20 grand for now.
Then you get to keep
whatever we find
on Johnny's dead
body, all right,
which should be a bundle.
- [exhales]
- All right.
Well, you go
yourself a desperado.
Are we waiting until they
come out and ice city,
or we gonna bust in and
light the motherfuckers up?
No, no, no, no. We wait.
We knock on the door,
do something like that,
it's gonna get all messy.
- [whimpers, sobs]
- JOHNNY: So...
all you have to do is tell
me everything that you know
about this place and then...
Thank you, sweetheart.
You get to go home, to
the nice, happy family
in the photograph.
[sobs]
Okay? Look at me.
Careful.
If, uh... [smacks lips]
If you make one little mistake,
forget to tell me something,
or uh, make up some shit
that gets me fucked,
me and Clyde here
are gonna go down
to 85 Angel Briar and Cranston.
We're going to
introduce ourselves
to the family.
- Okay?
- [whimpers]
Yes, yes, yes, yes.
All right.
So...
here we go.
Oh, oh, God. Oh, God.
[whimpers]
Oh, oh. Oh. Oh, no, no.
That's disgusting, man.
All I was gonna do
is free your hands,
so you could draw us a map.
[sobs]
JOHNNY: I fuckin'
hate pee-ers.
[breathes heavily]
You always get the pee-ers.
[groans]
It's disgusting.
Stop being so dramatic.
JOHNNY: You animal!
[pants]
Okay.
So, what happens now is
you are going to draw us
a little map.
With all little guards on it.
Okay? If you do that,
I'm gonna let you live.
- CLIFF: Okay.
- That sound right?
CLIFF: Y... yes.
Okay. Go on.
[pants]
JOHNNY: Go on!
[grunts]
- [chuckles]
- CLIFF: Okay. Okay.
- Come on, Cliff boy! Come on!
- [Cliff screaming]
Okay, okay. Fuck!
[Clyde laughing]
[Cliff grunts]
CLIFF: Oh. [grunts]
- Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.
- CLYDE: Go on then.
There's, um...
a safety deposit box.
By the... the inside gate.
There's two in the cash room.
And one guy, he's... he's
in... He's in charge.
He just... he...
walks around, just
doing perimeter checks.
[whimpers]
CLYDE: That's a lot of guys.
[smacks lips]
Yeah.
That is a lot of guys, isn't it?
[Cliff breathes shakily]
Butcher, Baker, and
the Candlestick maker?
Uh-huh!
All right. On three.
One.
Two... oh.
[groans]
LOCK: Geez!
[Johnny grunts] Come on.
- [Clyde grunts]
- Come on.
- ONE TIME: Move!
- [grunts]
Fuck! Shit!
[chuckles]
[Lock grunts]
()
Funny, Johnny! Very funny!
Hi, Lock!
[chuckles]
Come on, Johnny.
Let's make this easy, huh?
How about no prison?
Yeah. Fuck that!
What do you say, huh?
()
You gonna die no matter what.
()
[grunts]
Who the hell is that?
ONE TIME: Does it matter?
They're fuckin' shooting at us!
Get in, baby.
()
LOCK: Get him!
Who the hell was that?
I have no idea.
()
()
What?
I'm afraid, uh, bad news.
It's...
it's Zhang.
()
[breathes heavily]
Hey, darling.
[imitates gunshots]
[speaks Mandarin]
They have no clue.
The stone was very close.
[speaks Mandarin]
Shall we engage?
[kisses]
[indistinct chatter
in background]
[grunts]
()
BUTCHER: Mm?
()
Mm.
()
'Cause you belong to me
'Cause we belong together
[exhales]
[sniffs]
Valhalla awaits.
[grunts]
BUTCHER: Oh, man!
()
Oh, Johnny!
Hey, little fella!
- [chuckles]
- JOHNNY: Great to see you.
Hey, Clyde.
Howdy.
So...
whatcha up to?
- BUTCHER: Been gambling a lot.
- [chuckles]
Well, it's funny that
you should say "gambling"
because me and Clyde here,
we're gonna rip off a casino.
You want in?
BUTCHER: Do I get
to kill people?
Honey, I double-damn
guarantee it.
[scoffs]
Oh, before I can commit,
I need to ask you a
very important question.
[chuckles]
Left or right?
Huh?
Just real quick.
Left or right?
Left.
Okay.
[exhales sharply]
Okay, I'm in.
- CLYDE: Yay!
- Oh, great!
[chuckles]
Uh, hey, big guy?
Seen much of Baker these days?
Oh, shit. You didn't hear.
()
I would rather be a
pencil than a pencil case
I'd rather be a basket
than a basketcase
Oh.
[chuckles]
That's Baker.
[crowd clamoring]
()
[chuckles]
()
[laughs]
JOHNNY: Whoo!
[cheering]
()
()
No.
This is so boring. Who
is picking this shit out?
Who is doing this to me?
Because this is my free time.
I don't have time for this shit.
No.
Go, change.
Let's make it worth it.
I don't know what the fuck
you were so happy about.
You should have known when
you looked in the mirror
that that wasn't it.
Not a vibe. Next.
[inhales, exhales]
ALANA: Oh my God!
Sweet Jesus! This is
what I'm talking about.
Look at this. Holy
shit, yes! Mm.
I love it.
Uh, one second.
Can you give us a minute?
Did I say, leave?
Or did I say,
"Give us a minute"?
[inhales, exhales]
Okay. Let's do it.
Daddy? I have great news.
FATHER: Make it
fast. Daddy's busy.
ALANA: Well, profits
have never been better.
And yes, we did hit a few
hiccups along the way,
but that is all
smoothed out now.
FATHER: What did you do
about Johnny and Clyde?
Well, they're just zits
waiting to be popped.
FATHER: Always
something with you.
Daddy, sir, um...
I was thinking...
I've been here for a few years.
And I have turned
this dusty, shit place
into a world-class
resort, and...
maybe it's time that
I could come home,
you know?
I really miss
you. I miss Vegas.
FATHER: You made a mess.
Now, clean it up.
And then, and only
then can you come home.
I won't let you down.
FATHER: And Alana, darling?
Yes, Daddy?
FATHER: I know everything.
Of course, you do.
FATHER: No mistakes, right?
Bye, Daddy. I love... oh.
Get fucking dressed!
What the fuck?
Fucking work.
I'm only the fucking
person that works
in this goddamn
fucking bullshit.
[whimpers]
CANDLESTICK: So...
I think the word
I'm looking for...
is respect.
Or really it's a
lack thereof it.
[whimpers]
CANDLESTICK: Now,
one of you...
has been stealing my newspaper.
Now, I know it's been
a long three days.
And two of you did nothin'.
Now, you...
you think I don't know.
Oh, but I do. Oh, I do.
And if you don't answer me,
all three of you get gutted.
Now, can you please
spare your pals
and cop to what you did?
[whimpers]
Sir, please look at him!
He's been dead for two days!
So he is.
But if this is
some kind of trick,
I will fucking gut you.
[sobs]
You're not even on my route!
I don't even think
you're a subscriber.
[sobs]
Shh!
()
Well, no answer. Let's go.
Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh.
I think I hear some
movement around there.
- Oh, God! Son of a bitch.
- BAKER: He's home.
I told you, if I saw you again,
I'd...
I'd give you the
biggest fricking hug.
- [laughs]
- [Johnny exclaims]
- JOHNNY: Oh, it's good to see you.
- Oh, there she is.
[laughs]
CANDLESTICK: Holy shit!
The whole gang's here.
Baker, Butcher!
- [Baker chuckles]
- Now, what the hell
in God's name y'all
doin' out here?
Well, we got a little job
for you if you're interested.
- It's a...
- Hell, yeah, papito. I'm in.
Yeah. Well, I didn't even
get to tell you about...
Well, fuck that shit, homes.
I'm in. So, come on in.
Come on. Come on. Come on.
JOHNNY: Hey!
[laughs]
Whoa! You, uh... you got...
No, no, no, no, no, no.
They just left. They just
left. No, no, no, no, amigo.
Come on, please. Please.
[speaks Spanish]
Come on. Come on.
BAKER: Oh, it's cool.
[clears throat]
[Candlestick snickering]
What are we stealing?
[both chuckle]
Who we killing?
Hopefully, all of
the above, chico.
- Yes!
- CLYDE: Yes!
- [cheers]
- [laughs]
Chico!
[exclaims]
()
[gunshots in background]
[guard screaming]
Tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk.
Oh. Sheriff Lock.
How nice to finally
meet you in person.
It's just Lock.
You know I'm not
sheriff anymore.
I do.
()
Miss, are you okay?
ALANA: I'm fine, Guy.
I'm pretty sure Mr. Lock
is gonna behave himself.
Yeah, I'll be a good boy.
We're good, Guy. Goodbye.
GUY: Pick his ass up.
You wanna sit down?
()
ALANA: Well?
I'll be quick.
Two years ago, Johnny
and Clyde killed my kid.
My, uh...
daughter.
Mmhmm.
And then your wife left. And
then you started drinking.
A lot.
Combination of
that and obsession
with your daughter's
killer, abused some power,
broke some rules,
got booted from the
police department.
It's a painfully tragic,
weirdly common tale
of a wayward lawman.
Point, please.
Those two shitbums
that killed my little girl
are gonna hit your safe.
Well, that would
be awfully foolish,
because we have the best
security in the world.
[chuckles] Oh,
no. Not that safe.
The one no one knows about.
Yeah!
[laughs]
That one.
[chuckles]
I'm sure I don't know
what you're talking about.
I'm sure you do.
Are you alone, Mr. Lock?
Hmm! Maybe.
Maybe not.
What do you want?
How about a team-up?
I can handle this
before it ever starts.
Oh my God. That's super cute.
You guys, he wants a job.
LOCK: No, no, no, no. I
don't want anything from you.
Just first dibs on
doing Johnny and Clyde.
That's my fee.
Mm...
okay.
Oh, nice.
I can get movin' on right away.
- I'll get beatin' down on those two pieces of shit.
- Guy.
Guy.
You have no idea
just how miserable
I'm gonna make their lives.
What are you doing?
Oh, come on. Come on. This
is not necessary, is it?
You don't have to... You
don't... hey, hey, hey!
Oh! Come on!
Hey, fuck off!
We don't use that kind
of language around here.
Well, suck my
dick, motherfucker.
How's that for...
[groans, coughs]
LOCK: All right.
Leavin'. I'm leavin'.
Oh, shit.
You got no fuckin' clue
what you're dealing with.
All right?
I think we'll be fine.
LOCK: Fuck me.
Don't touch me, pal.
[pants]
We'll escort him
off the property.
[clicks tongue] No.
What you're gonna do is line
all these little shits up
and flush.
Of course, miss.
ALANA: Guy.
Call the Elder.
I want Bakwas.
[speaks Spanish]
In that casino just so happens
to be on the same grounds where
the Infernal Order of Light
performed their
mass suicide, bro,
which means it's
protected by the Bakwas.
Okay, what the fuck is a Bakwas?
What the fuck is the
Infernal Order of Light?
CANDLESTICK: Yo!
The Bakwas and
the Infernal Order
are the first fuckin'
documented Satanists to land
in America, bro.
Uh-huh.
And I love you, but
this is just a bullshit
ghost story to scare
children, right?
It's... it's, uh...
Completely fuckin' true, yo!
[breathes deeply]
()
JOHNNY: Okay.
He's gotten a little crazier
since the last time I saw him.
The wig is new.
()
What the fuck is he doing?
I told y'all.
[tuts]
[exhales]
Man, these cats were
into some dark shit.
There's more to the story?
BUTCHER, BAKER AND CLYDE: Shh!
All right. Fine. Fuck it.
The pilgrims landed in Plymouth
in 1620, seeking
religious freedom.
But in 1625, a different
group came over,
also seeking some
religious freedom.
Hmm.
A Satanic cult.
Oh, fuck.
Yeah.
Now, the colonies
were fuckin' booming.
Not knowing these
crazy fuckin' Satanists
were just a spittin'
distance away.
Well, the townspeople
figured it out.
And they formed a posse
to rid the order
from their lands.
[crowd clamoring]
But The Infernal order knew
the people were coming.
So, you know what they did?
They lined 'em up, and they
burned 'em at the stake.
They tried.
Before they could...
the entire cult...
stood in a giant circle.
[Internal Order chanting]
And they all ceremoniously...
slit their own throats.
Oh.
Wait.
Why... why did the whole
cult have to kill themselves?
Suffering, pain, and hate!
Blood...
and the tears...
of the fallen.
It pooled, and it
created a massive death.
A god they worshipped.
Their god of death.
Before you see him, you
can hear children...
[children wailing]
weeping.
You know, like a...
like a warning.
Okay. I'll be taking me
back to the nuthouse.
JOHNNY: No, no, no. Wait,
wait, wait, wait. Shh, shh.
He's just a little...
He's just... He's
just bein' fun, right?
Shit's real, dude.
I believe you.
CLYDE: Me, too.
- Yeah. Me fuckin' three, which is why I'm out.
- All right.
BAKER: I'll live to blow
shit up another day.
You talkin' about
cameras, armed guards,
and fuckin' ghost killers
runnin' around here,
I might be the fuck
crazy, but I'm not stupid.
I'm... I'm done.
No, no, no. Look.
Baker, Baker, Baker, Baker,
please, please, please.
- I'm done.
- Please, please, please, please.
Brother, brother,
brother. We need you.
[sighs]
Trust me. None of
us want to die.
I kinda do!
- Will you please shh, shh, shh.
- [Clyde chuckling]
Baker, Baker. Look at me.
BAKER: This is so
fuckin' stupid, bro.
So, you said
you hear little kids crying
before he comes to kill you?
It's enough to make you
piss your pants, huh.
Shh.
Well, this is so
fucking stupid, man.
[scoffs]
- But?
- BUTCHER: And?
- Fine, man.
- Hey!
[Butcher laughs]
[Candlestick cheers]
BAKER: This guy's...
[Candlestick exclaims]
BAKER: What the fuck
is he doing now?
[Butcher laughing]
CANDLESTICK: You
guys want some drugs?
- [cheering]
- [laughs, exclaims]
Whoo!
()
()
[smooches]
[Elder chanting]
()
()
Oh, you got pumped
too good for you.
[grunts]
Eat the cookie, homie.
()
[Elder chanting continues]
()
()
()
ELDER: It is done.
Bakwas will remain
until all are dead.
How long will Bakwas
be in my control?
Uh, Bakwas will obey
and cannot leave casino grounds
while you possess the stone.
I feel I must warn you.
Bakwas was our
cult's most ferocious
and glorious warrior.
But over time, he has
grown full of rage
and has become erratic
and unpredictable.
ALANA: Have you told any of your
people that I have the stone?
ELDER: Of course, not.
My order would excommunicate
me if they knew
I was talking to you
and not your father.
So, you're the
only one who knows?
It's our little secret.
Mm, great.
[groans]
Two can keep a secret
if one of you is dead.
[whistles]
GUY: Good morning, miss.
Everything is in
place for today, miss.
Wonderful.
It's just...
I... I just, uh...
didn't see the stone.
Okay.
And why pray tell were
you looking for the stone?
I just wanted to
ensure its safety.
You just are very lucky that
I'm in a good mood today.
The stone is with
me at all times.
Of course.
Please feel free.
- Don't straighten up. It's all good.
- GUY: Uh, yes.
Please feel free to
find your way out.
- GUY: I just...
- Mmhmm.
[Guy mumbles]
So, here is the basic idea.
There are three floors.
We're gonna get in, we're
gonna go to the basement,
and we're gonna get the money,
and then we're gonna come
back out the way we came.
That's it?
- That's the fucking plan?
- JOHNNY: Yeah!
- It sounds great, John.
- [exclaims]
Yeah.
That's a horrible fuckin' plan.
What... what about the guards?
JOHNNY: Oh, a few guards.
One here, uh, here.
Yeah. Couple of guards.
BAKER: And?
And...
w... what the fuck
do you mean "and"?
- We gotta kill 'em.
- [laughs]
[imitates gunshots]
Listen, Baker. Relax, man.
I'm not taking this lightly.
It just so happens,
it's a very simple job.
But just to clarify,
here it goes.
Clyde and I quietly
take out the guards.
()
And then Baker blows the doors.
And that's when
the guards come in.
()
JOHNNY: And then Candle
is gonna crack the safe.
Wait. Wait, wait. John.
I don't know how
to crack a safe.
Oh, that's okay, buddy.
We're gonna work it out.
We're gonna work it out.
- But I...
- He's gonna do fine, isn't he?
[cheers]
JOHNNY: We get the money.
And we live happily ever after.
The fuckin' end.
It's not remotely
gonna go like that.
And you know that.
It's called, "positive
manifestation", Baker.
- You ain't never read The Secret?
- [chuckles]
BUTCHER: Oh, you
gotta read it.
It's so empowering.
You gotta read it.
Johnny, do y'all even have guns?
I've seen one pistol
this entire time.
[cackles]
BAKER: The fuck is so funny?
Well, I don't know.
Do we got guns, or you got guns?
- Oh, yeah. Now, that'll do nicely.
- [laughs]
I love you, Johnny.
Okay.
We wait until they file
in. And then we go...
Coming through
the service entrance,
then we cut them off.
I heard you the first time.
- Yeah.
- I got you.
All right. All right.
Ooh!
This is my joy!
Ah!
We could be the
future together
Yeah.
You hear that?
Yeah, I can...
- I feel it. Yeah.
- All right.
Yeah.
It's fight time.
Yeah.
ONE TIME: Let's go.
We could be the
future together
Ridin' out
()
[Pot moaning]
[Honey moaning]
No, no.
[Honey smooches]
[Pot moaning]
()
()
()
I'm thinking we should leave.
It's just...
I only got room for one of
you. Here. Come, get a towel.
The problem is...
I can't decide
who's' gonna come,
who's gonna stay.
Uh, so, I think I'll
let you guys decide.
()
Wow.
I always knew you were
the strongest link.
Good job, baby girl.
Hi. Mm, yeah.
I'm gonna be needing
another pair.
The last two you gave me...
broke.
Yeah, it's just that you
got me blonde last time.
I don't... okay,
yeah. Surprise me.
Great.
I'll let you know where
to ship them when I land.
[hums]
Okay. Just as we planned.
Honey, I'm gonna need
you to go over there
and strut ass as a distraction.
I'm sorry, it's
very disrespectful.
I apologize.
It's for the money.
That's right, baby.
Where's Candle?
[groans]
See, a fuckin' liability.
Oh, stop. He's fun.
CANDLESTICK: Hey, John!
I got the first two.
All clear, buddy!
[groans]
BUTCHER: Yeah, you did.
- Okay, Baker.
- [scoffs]
You're up.
()
Okay.
Blow this shit up.
All right. Let me
just take a look.
Steel door hinges.
Now, that's cute. [chuckles]
Nothing I can't get
through, though.
Hey, I put together
a little combo.
A little, uh, gasoline,
black powder mix.
Should definitely do the trick.
Ah, fuse is too long.
[spits]
Yeah, you might wanna
back up at least 20 feet.
- [chuckling]
- BAKER: And cover your ears.
JOHNNY: Hey, Baker.
- You think that wick might be a little too short?
- Mmhmm.
BAKER: Johnny.
I've been doing
this for a while.
Of course, the wick
is long enough.
Okay.
()
Babe. This doesn't look
anything like your map.
You know, I can't draw, baby.
LOCK: Drop it!
Everybody's dying today.
Fuck, yeah!
- [exclaims]
- [Butcher chuckles]
- Hey, Butcher.
- Tell me that's your fucking girlfriend
behind us right there.
VOICE (OS): Security
lockdown enforced.
ALANA: Hiya, folks!
Eyes up here, please.
Sorry, you...
You're interrupting.
Who the fuck are you?
The biggest mistake
of your little
shitty life, John.
- That's kinda hurtful.
- Mmhmm.
I feel like that's
kinda hurtful.
Some of you came here for money.
Some of you came here for glory.
And some of you came
here for revenge.
But now, you're all trapped.
You're all dead by sunrise.
[Johnny laughing]
Yay!
[Clyde chuckling]
Now, because I'm a good sport
and I wanna see an
even playing field,
I'm gonna let you know
that the bottom floor
is what you want.
There's more money there
than you will ever see
in all of your
combined lifetimes.
If you can get to
it, it's all yours.
Great! Thank you.
That sounds easy enough.
Well, you might not feel
that way after you meet
our surprise guest.
Everybody, meet Bakwas.
Oh, shit.
He's...
Fucking...
Real?
All right, guys. Let's
kick rocks, kids!
LOCK: You're a
dead man, Johnny!
[groans]
[groans]
LOCK: Shoot him!
Shoot him again!
Blow its fuckin' head up!
Headshot! Head!
[screams]
LOCK: One Time!
[grunts]
LOCK: Goodbye. Stay away
the hell, motherfucker!
CANDLESTICK: Go, go,
go, go, go. Go, go.
Ah.
Thanks, El Ma.
()
CANDLESTICK: Hey guys, go, go.
[grunts]
CANDLESTICK: I got you.
()
First floor, blue team.
Targets are close.
Soften them up.
Copy that.
Last seen in corridor C.
We're at the last
point of entry, sir.
[grunts]
Okay. I'm up.
[grunts]
- Uh-huh.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
Let the boy do his thing.
[kisses]
It's okay. It's okay.
[kisses]
Hey, guys.
Well, what are you waitin' for?
[grunting, groaning]
()
Oh!
[grunting]
()
Look at me, you son of a bitch.
[groans]
[grunts]
[guard 1 groans]
[screams]
()
[grunts]
[guard 2 groans]
[Butcher laughing]
[grunts]
Hey, guys. We're good.
Really great work, buddy.
Yeah, wow.
Butcher, I love you, too.
BUTCHER: I love you, too, man.
[laughing]
[breathes deeply]
Kill the scums.
Okay, wow. All right. Gunfire.
- CANDLESTICK: I got you.
- JOHNNY: We got a gunfight.
[grunts]
JOHNNY: Ah, come
on, you fuckers.
I'm open to suggestions
if anyone has any.
You got a grenade?
Nope.
()
[grunts]
[masked guard muffled screams]
CANDLESTICK: Oh,
John, look. Holy shit.
()
[muffled groans]
()
[grunts]
[groans]
That guy's fuckin' sick.
Wait, guys. Let's fuckin' go!
JOHNNY: Sick. Okay, let's go.
Oh, shit.
ALANA: Guy.
Miss. Thank God you're okay.
Well, Guy.
I can hear that
you're out of breath.
And I don't like that.
Are you fucking this up?
It's Bakwas.
He's killing everyone
including our own men.
This isn't the way it
was supposed to go down.
I'm beginning to
be very concerned
for my own safety.
Yes. Of course, you're scared.
There's a mythical
demonic slasher
chasing you around,
you should be.
Miss.
I'm afraid abandoning my post
is my only chance of survival.
I mean, you can try.
You'll just never make it out.
It's not you, Guy. It's me.
Is that what you needed to hear?
I sent Bakwas in to
clean all of this up
with no witnesses.
And sadly...
you're kind of a witness.
After all I've done
for you over the years?
You ungrateful bitch!
Guy.
Die with some dignity, would ya?
You have done a wonderful job.
I just don't need you anymore.
GUY: This isn't over.
I promise you that.
()
- One, two...
- One, two, three!
- Whoo!
- [Johnny grunts]
Come on, bitch!
()
Candle, cover!
[grunts]
- [Clyde grunts]
- JOHNNY: Oh, no.
No, no, no, no, no. Fuck!
CANDLESTICK: Oh, shit!
[grunts]
Hey, hey.
Butcher.
Leave one alive.
BUTCHER: Candle, cover me!
I got you, go!
[grunts]
It's okay. It's okay.
[groans]
[guard groaning]
[grunts]
()
[groans, pants]
You killed my girlfriend.
That's the only
girl I ever loved.
And the only girl
who'll ever love me.
So...
What the fuck?
[groans]
I'm gonna make you pay for that.
[guard groans]
I got a question for you.
Hands or feet?
Nah. I'll answer
that question for ya.
- [grunts]
- [screams]
- [Johnny grunts]
- [guard groans]
[exclaims]
- [Johnny grunts]
- [guard groaning]
[grunts]
Shut the fuck up.
El Ma.
I thought you... I
thought you were dead.
- [chuckles]
- I swear to God you died.
Well, uh, you saved my life.
()
I didn't know what I was
gonna do without you.
[kisses]
Aw!
I love you, Johnny.
I love you, man.
[breathes deeply]
()
Soldiers
Men, if you are
still alive, flee.
All is lost.
If you see Bakwas, run.
Or this place will be your tomb.
This is team leader signing off.
May God help you.
Because no one else will.
()
The money!
[all chuckle]
CANDLESTICK: Hey, Johnny.
I'm gonna donate my portion
to the abused animals
uh, foundation.
JOHNNY: That's so good.
- What?
BUTCHER: Well, I
haven't felt that one.
What's that, little guy?
BUTCHER: Fear.
- [groans]
- [Butcher grunts]
BUTCHER: I got you.
CLYDE: Can y'all
stop fuckin' around?
It's a little
slippery back here.
()
[children wailing]
What?
The motherfucker's
behind me, right?
[grunts]
Go, go, go! Let's go!
Candle! No!
[Johnny grunts]
- Hey, what are you doing?
- Goodbye, my love.
- JOHNNY: Come on, Butcher. Let's go.
- [kisses]
Oh, come on. It's my time!
- [groans] - We're rich!
Let's kick rocks! Let's go!
[grunts]
Okay.
That should hold him
for a minute at least.
Fuck.
No. Come on, man. You're
fucking coming with us.
BUTCHER: No, Johnny,
Johnny, Johnny.
I don't like the world
very much, I never have.
[pants]
BUTCHER: I'm just
killin' time.
When you guys came over,
I was about to
fucking kill myself
out of shit fucking boredom.
You gave me a purpose.
Fucking quest!
It was never about the money.
It's about one last
adventure with my friends.
And you gave me that.
Thanks.
You're welcome, man.
Don't be sad.
'Cause tonight, I
dine in Valhalla.
[chuckles]
Fuck! Go! Just go!
And Johnny.
Try not to be such an asshole.
I'll try my best.
I'll see you in Valhalla.
[chuckles]
Go. Clyde, take care of him.
- CLYDE: Okay.
- Let's go.
()
[Butcher shrieks]
()
There's always somebody better.
[snarls]
()
[grunts]
()
You going easy on me?
[groans]
()
[grunts, groans]
[pants]
[grunts]
[groans, chokes]
[children wailing]
[snarls]
()
ALANA: I think my time
here is done, Father.
Everything is wrapped up
and delivered as promised.
Of course.
That was all removed
before those two
clowns got here.
ALANA: I took all
the real money.
All that's left is
the counterfeit cash
to buy us some time.
Oh my God, you're delicious
Paris, Monte Carlo
yum, yum, yum, yum, yum
See you in Vegas.
()
()
()
[pants]
()
So, you're just
not gonna kill us?
I worked for Alana's father.
Cool.
Who the fuck's Alana?
ZHANG: You don't remember?
On big screen, the lady
who was telling you
you're gonna die.
Oh, yeah. I hated her.
- CLYDE: She was so rude.
- JOHNNY: Yeah.
What's that crazy bitch's
dad gotta do with us?
Shut the fuck up, bitch!
He was watching you
two for a while.
He was impressed, but not me.
There's no magic.
Only ordinary.
If not for him,
you'd both be dead.
Motherfucker, come
this way! Go, go, go!
Hey, baby.
Baby, I think she just
called you "ordinary".
Am I ordinary?
Come on, hurry!
From now on, your fuckin'
fate is connected to...
[grunts, groans]
- [Lock grunts]
- [groans]
Fuck! Fuckin'...
[grunts]
You maggot motherfucker!
- [grunts]
- Fuck!
You killed my little girl!
Piece of shit!
JOHNNY: I killed
a lot of people.
[grunts]
LOCK: Red-leather-pant-wearing
motherfucker!
[pants]
LOCK: Don't you...
Don't you ever wonder why
your dad never called?
Because he didn't care.
LOCK: No.
It's not because he didn't care.
It's because he's dead.
Johnny killed him.
Johnny killed your dad.
He had his pal
clean up his mess.
JOHNNY: Hey, Butcher.
Thank God you picked
up. Hey, listen.
Uh, I'm gonna need a
little clean-up job.
You're gonna want to
bring some bleach.
And some tarps.
LOCK: Put it all together.
You're smart.
Clyde, give me the
gun. Come on, honey.
Give me the gun.
[groans]
[groans]
Thanks, baby. He was
really fuckin' me up.
Did you...
did you really kill my dad?
Yeah.
Sorry about that.
[groans]
Hey.
That's the most romantic thing
anyone's ever done for me.
[sobs]
[smooches]
No time for love, Dr. Jones.
Oh, fuck.
[indistinct speech]
Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait.
He can't fuckin' move.
He's reached the, uh...
cult city limits or some shit.
- Johnny, we gotta go.
- No, look at him.
He can't move. We beat you!
You Grim-Reaper-lookin'
motherfucker
with your fuckin' poncho!
CLYDE: You crusty-ass bitch!
[laughs mockingly]
- You dried-up piece of shit!
- [chuckles]
You know, it's funny how
life turns out sometimes.
CLYDE: Yeah.
[Clyde hums]
[groans]
[groans, coughs]
()
[laughs]
[children wailing]
I met Murder on the way.
He had a mask like Castlereagh.
Very smooth he looked, yet grim.
Seven bloodhounds followed him.
One by one and two by two...
he then tossed them
human hearts to chew.
And then Anarchy
rode and came on a white horse,
splashed with blood.
Very pale.
He was very pale.
Like death in the apocalypse.
()
()
ALANA: Guy, you survived.
How wonderful!
I always had faith that
you would persevere.
()
[smacks lips]
The stone.
Give it to me!
Oh, is that all you want?
Here.
[chuckles]
GUY: Ah!
- There's someone else who wants to see you.
- [children wailing]
[scoffs]
[chuckles]
I, uh...
You know who.
Bakwas works for me.
He does what I say.
And I say, to kill him.
I have the stone.
You don't control him anymore.
Oh, fuck you.
I said to kill Guy now!
[Bakwas snarls]
()
[breathes shakily]
[Guy breathes heavily]
Things will be different
when I am in charge.
We will treat you
with respect, dignity.
We will honor the
sacred bond that...
[groans]
()
[children wailing]
()
You got a dagger hidden
under your pillow
You've been sleepin' with
the devil in your bed
You got a secret
And you're livin'
in the shadows
Silver bullets, we
were better off dead
A thousand years,
let's make it two
Forever wasn't ever
any better without you
And in your eyes
something moved
I checked you
then I held you
Then you killed
my self-control
When soft words are spoken
The spell breaks when
the daylight's broken
Is it all right to face you?
I'm a little too
afraid to chase you
I was honest when I told ya
That young love
it'll never get older
When you're heels
up head over
We can run away into
another nightmare
Under the cover of
the full moonlight
You're shakin' even
when you tell me
That you're not scared a
ceremony and a sacrifice
With this curse, I duly
wed to hell and back
And heart attacks the
sacred oath was read
In a crimson night
true love is dead
You chanted it
while standin' there
Remember what we said
When soft words are spoken
The spell breaks when
the daylight's broken
Is it all right to face you?
I'm a little too
afraid to chase you
I was honest when I told ya
That young love
it'll never get older
When you're heels
up head over
Forever wasn't ever
any better without you
When soft words are spoken
The spell breaks when
the daylight's broken
Is it all right to face you?
I'm a little too
afraid to chase you
I was honest when I told ya
That young love
it'll never get older
When you're heels
up head over
You can come
And be that guy
I'll be the one who
keeps you warm at night
You can come
and be that guy
I'll be the one who
keeps you warm at night
You can come
and be that guy
I'll be the one who
keeps you warm at night
You can come
and be that guy
()
()