Killer Klowns from Outer Space (1988) Movie Script
1
Killer klowns
P. T. Barnum said it so long ago
There's one born every minute
That you know
Some make us laugh
Some make us cry
These clowns
only gonna make you die
Everybody's runnin'
When the circus
comes into the towns
Everybody's gunnin' for the likes
Of the killer klowns
Chuckle
The ringmaster shouts
"Let the show begin"
Send in the clowns
Then they'll let you in
See the rubber nose
On the painted face
Bringing genocide
to the human race
It's time to take a ride
On the nightmare merry-go-round
You'll be dead on arrival
From the likes
of the killer klowns
From outer space
There's cotton candy
in their hands...
Little son of a bitch.
Cops
This is Mooney calling in.
Read you. What's doing, Curt?
Nothing yet, Dave,
but Friday night's just starting.
I'm heading across town
to the park.
Check in with you later.
That was a hot tune
from The Doorman,
but now we're going
to slow it down a little bit
for all you make-out artists
at the Top of the World.
Give me a cold one.
All right.
I'm Jojo the ice cream clown
with the bestest ice cream in town.
We'll give you the stick,
you give it a lick,
and it'll tickle you
all the way down.
Ice cream, ice cream.
We brought our goodies
here to you--
a tasty treat for while you screw.
Let's take a break.
Cool off those hot lips
with our tasty
frozen fruity bars--
icy wicys,
fudgy wudgy bars,
and everyone's favorite
frozen delight,
the lick-a-stick.
Jeez, what the--
Get out of here,
you morons!
Hey, take
your ice cream and get lost.
Oh, yeah?
Quiet down.
You got the speaker on.
Beat it, you jerk.
So, you don't want
any ice cream?
Well, you're not getting any.
We were getting it
before you showed up.
Those guys, man--
What the hell
are they doing here?
Great idea, Paul.
Everybody loves ice cream.
What do you mean?
It was your idea.
Hey, why don't we just
park here for a while?
Hey, what are you guys
trying to pull here?
Well, we thought we'd
park here for a while.
You said we could have
all the ice cream we wanted,
but you didn't say
anything about parking.
What kind of girls
do you think we are?
I told you they
weren't that stupid.
We want you to take us
home right now.
- Yeah.
- Take it easy.
Keep your shirt on.
Don't worry. We intend to.
Well, this worked out just great.
Don't blame me.
I didn't want to come here.
Hey, why don't we try the drive-in?
Oh, that's dumb.
Hey, wait a minute.
What's playing?
Knuckleheads.
You know those guys?
Those guys are
my best friends from school.
I tell you, whenever
I want to have a good time,
I call Rich and Paul.
A night outwith those guys...
...is a total adventure.
What am I talking about
the Terenzi brothers for,
when I would much rather
- be kissing you?
- Oh...
This is great.
Yeah.
Wow, check that out.
Did you see that?
Yeah, I saw that.
That was incredible.
Well, I'll be hornswoggled.
Did you see
that little old sky guppy
zip down in there, Pooh?
Hoo!
It's Halley's Comet,
and he's landed in our backyard.
There's gonna be
thousands of people.
Thousands of people are coming.
They're gonna have hot dogs.
Gonna have helicopters and airplanes
and tacos.
It's--
This is our lucky day.
We's gonna be rich, Pooh.
We gonna be rich.
Come on, let's go check it out.
Oh, come on. No way.
Debbie, it's a waste of time.
It's got to be 1,000 miles away.
We'd ruin our whole evening.
Don't give me that.
You saw how close it was.
It landed right over the hill.
Now, that is not 1,000 miles away.
Come on.
You can find it,
Mr. Adventure.
Debbie, don't you want
to finish our champagne?
Take it with us.
Come on.
OK.
Heel.
Come on, come on.
Attention, dog. Come on.
Well...
I'll be greased and fried.
What in blue blazes
is the circus doing
up in these parts?
I love the circus.
Come on.
Maybe we can get us
some free passes.
Come on, Pooh.
I never seen one that looked
like this one before.
Well...
I don't know, Pooh.
You know, there's something
kind of peculiar around here.
Where is everybody?
There ain't nobody around.
Where-- where's
the dang ticket booth?
How are we supposed to get in
and see the show?
Pooh?
Pooh Bear?
Where is that dog?
Pooh?
Something funny's happening
around here.
What in tarnation's going on here?
Oh!
Where's my dog?
Where's my Pooh Bear?
I'll tear this thing apart
with my bare hands!
Oh, ha-ha! Ow!
This thing is wired.
All right, get in there!
What's going on, Curt?
Same old shit.
I caught them boozing it up
in the park.
We're just walking through the park
on the way to the dorm.
We had a bottle of wine.
Yeah. It's a beautiful night.
We were walking around.
We didn't do nothing.
You guys go to the college, right?
Yeah. Yeah, right.
So why don't you just stay there
and do your drinking on campus?
Why do you have to come into town?
Well, I mean,
we live in this town, too.
I mean, we don't have
to just stay on campus.
Yeah...
and it's scum like you
that are killing this town.
Come on, Curt! Curt!
Come on, come on, Curt.
Now, just take it easy.
What's the matter, Dave?
You got a thing
for these little boys?
Empty your pockets!
We just had a little wine.
What's the problem?
You're the problem,
you little shit!
Just lighten up, Mooney.
Just lighten up.
Back off, Dave.
Open container,
public intoxication,
littering, disturbing the peace,
resisting arrest--
These kids are history.
Unless you want to rewrite the laws,
Mr. Police Academy.
Look. You got this
problem with my training,
I don't care,
but when you bring someone
into the station,
I don't want to see you
beating them up.
Now, if you're going to book them,
do it according to procedure,
or I swear, Curt,
you and that badge of yours
will be history.
I'll tell you what's going
to be history, Dave--
these kids.
Now, get in there.
Get in there!
Shit.
Yeah, it looks like we're
going to have to walk from here.
Let's see.
If instinct serve chief correct...
- Uh-huh.
- Path lie...
that way.
We must travel many moons--
many...
many moons.
Many...
many...
Enough already
with the moons.
Lead the way,
Chief Running-at-the-mouth.
Holy shit.
That was no shooting star.
Looks like a...
Circus tent.
What's a circus tent
doing all the way out here?
It's a pretty lousy
location for a show.
Something's wrong.
This-- this doesn't feel right.
Weren't we looking
for the shooting star?
Come on, this looks neat.
Let's check this out.
No.
Let's go. I've seen enough.
Oh, come on, Deb.
I want to take a closer look.
You can stay here.
Alone?
Well, would you be more scared
if you came with me
or if I left you here?
If you left me here.
Let's go.
Come on.
Come on.
OK, OK. I'm coming.
Come on, let's check this out.
No. Mike.
Mike, we-- we better not.
Deb, you are going
to love this.
Don't be a baby.
This is bizarre.
What kind of circus is this?
This is that new wave
European circus fantastique.
Hurry, hurry.
Step rig ht UP
See the circus bizarro.
Come one, come all.
Step right up, little lady.
Don't be shy. Don't be stupid.
Come see the incredible
Miss 50-50--
half man, half woman--
the perfect double date.
Oh, yeah.
That's right, little lady.
Step right up here
and see Gumbo,
the toothless elephant.
Or right over here,
we've got Belinda,
the bulimic wonder.
Watch her binge and purge
before your very eyes. Ha!
Mike, keep it down.
Somebody will catch us.
God, is this place great or what?
I mean, it looks like
it was decorated
by Clowns "R" Us.
I don't know.
So, how much further
you want to go?
Well...
Well, let's just go down
to the end of this hall
where those doors are.
Come on.
This is no funhouse.
No circus, either.
What?
I can't believe it.
What is it,
a nuclear power plant?
No.
A missile silo?
No.
A military base?
No! No!
The shooting star.
What are you talking about?
The shooting star
we went to go look for--
we are in it.
What was that?
I don't know...
...but it's coming this way.
Here. Come on.
Look at this place.
It smells like candy.
You know, I don't know
what we saw out there before, but...
this looks like
a cotton candy factory to me.
Yeah.
This must be where
they hang it up to dry
before they ship the stuff out.
No, it's not.
I've never seen anything
like this before, have you?
No.
Well, that's because nobody has.
I don't believe in UFOs,
but if they do exist,
then-- then we're trapped
in one right now.
Debbie, will you just calm down?
There's got to be a logical
explanation for this.
This isn't what you think it is.
Nobody stores
cotton candy like this.
What are you talking about?
Of course it is.
Look.
Joe Lombardo.
Down this way.
Are you OK?
I think so.
Come on.
Popcorn? Why popcorn?
Because they're clowns,
that's why.
Mike, get me out of here!
Hurry, they're coming!
We have to tell the police.
We're going to run to the police
and tell them there's
a bunch of clowns
running around killing
people with cotton candy?
I have a friend there.
I know he'll believe us.
I don't know, Debbie.
I wouldn't even believe us.
What the heck?
Dave!
Oh, my God!
Something horrible has happened!
Somebody's been killed!
Wait a second, Debbie.
What happened?
You got to help us!
We got to do something!
There are two people dead!
- Who, Debbie? Who's dead?
- Joe Lombardo. He's dead.
And-- and some old man, too.
Wait a second, guys.
Are you sure about this?
Yes! it-- they were hanging there
wrapped up
in these cotton candy things--
these... cocoons.
Cocoons?
Yes, cocoons.
You know, cocoons.
All right, everybody calm down.
Look, Debbie, come inside
and explain this to me.
I'd like to help you,
but before I can,
I've got to understand
what's going on here myself.
I really need
to get some mascara, OK?
OK, why don't
we just go to the drugstore?
OK? And then we'll go on.
Look.
Cute.
All right, sit down.
Let's start from the beginning,
all right?
OK, OK.
We were up
at the Top of the World,
and-- and we saw
this shooting star,
and we decided to go look for it.
But instead of finding
the shooting star,
we saw this-- this circus tent.
And that's when we went inside,
and that's when
we saw all those people
in those-- those pink
cotton candy cocoons.
Dave, it was not a circus tent.
It was something else.
- What? What?
- It was a spaceship,
and there was these things,
these... killer clowns,
and they shot popcorn at us.
We barely got away.
Killer clowns from outer space?
Holy shit.
Dave, we are telling you the truth.
You've got to believe us.
Let me tell you something, honey.
I was just over there.
There's nothing going on.
Excuse me, please,
but we're talking to Dave.
Now, just hold on a second, Mooney.
They say some people are dead.
Let's hear them out.
All right, Dave.
OK.
Clowns, cotton candy,
flying popcorn.
Go ahead. Let them make fools out
of the police department.
I told you,
I was just over there!
You going to believe
this little tramp?
Come on, Mooney!
I'm handling this, all right?
All right, all right, Debbie,
who's your friend?
Mike. We go to school together.
You two were up
at Top of the World together?
Yeah.
I know you, you little fart.
You hang out
with the Terenzi brothers.
Clowns? I get it.
Another one of their stupid stunts
to sell ice cream
from that goddamn truck
those hoodlums run around in.
Well, now I really believe this.
Well, you better go now, Dave,
before the clowns take over, huh?
And when you get back
from saving the world,
I want a full written report
so I can give it to the chief
when he gets back on Monday.
Look, everything happened
just the way we said.
We are telling you the truth.
All right, all right.
You two come with me.
Come on.
Hurry up, Dave.
Don't let them get away.
Go ahead, Dave...
...make a dummy out of yourself.
But you're not going
to make a dummy out of me.
You, in the back.
Uh... Oh... Um...
Whoa! Oh...
Excuse me.
Oh. Oh, my.
Ma)' I help you?
Oh, no!
Oh, no.
All right, we're going up there
to check this out.
First, I'm taking you home, Debbie.
No way.
I'm going back up there with you.
You can't tell me what to do.
Debbie, just listen to me, would you?
I don't have to listen to you.
You are not my boyfriend
anymore, all right?
Yeah, that's right.
I'm not your boyfriend anymore.
That doesn't change the way
I feel about you, though.
Dave, please.
Don't do this to me.
All right, Debbie,
you got a choice.
Either go home,
or I'm going to take you
back to the station and lock you up
for safekeeping. How's that?
Oh.
Pizza.
Uh-huh.
Oh! For me?
Oh!
Oh, Jim... is this from you?
- On!
Look, Debbie...
May I please speak
to Mike outside?
Fine. Sure.
Thank you.
Your old boyfriend?
This is great.
Will you come here?
He's probably going
to take me up on top of the hill
and shoot me.
Look, don't worry about Dave.
It's those clowns
you got to worry about.
Listen, as soon as you guys leave here,
I'm going to follow
you guys up there.
You're going
to follow us up there?
Debbie, I don't even
want to go up there.
Listen, you stay
inside the house
and keep the door locked.
I'll be back here in a little bit
to check on you.
OK?
You better.
That's good timing.
Ooh!
Oh!
Wait a minute.
Where is it?
Yeah, that's what
I'd like to know, pal.
It was right there
where that hole is.
So are you saying that hole
is where the tent was?
The tent made that hole--
is that what you're telling me?
Yes! It was there.
Look, we saw it.
That's a fact.
I'll tell you what
the facts are, mister.
You said people are being killed.
Now, where are the bodies?
I don't know.
I saw Joe Lombardo dead.
I can only tell you
what I think I saw.
Oh, so now you just
think you saw?
No! I know what I saw.
I just can't prove it.
My proof is gone.
Yeah, right.
Turn around, pal.
Mooney was right, huh?
Got nothing better to do
but cause problems.
Well, you're not going
to get away with it this time.
Get away with what?
Debbie saw it, too.
- Yeah, she did, didn't she?
- Ow!
Come on.
Hey, Eddie, is that
a new bike you got?
What's happening, Spike?
Ooh!
Big bad Jojo comin' into town.
Watch this, baby.
Is that bike too big for you?
Hey, Patty!
Mean bike you got there.
Yeah.
Can I take a ride...
- pal?
- Uh-uh!
Can I beep the horn?
Mm-hm.
Oh, thank you!
He should've let the man
ride his bike.
I'm sorry.
I seem to have
broken your bike.
Where'd he go?
Put up your dukes, put up your dukes!
What are you going to do,
knock my block off?
Damn!
Hey, come on,
let's get out of here!
Come on, guys!
Get me out of here!
Here's some more ketchup
for your French fries.
Now, here's
some more ketchup.
I want you to sit still
and eat your hamburger.
You know, this isn't
as much fun as it used to be.
It is if you're the winners.
Back here, young lady.
You're not going anywhere
until you finish your food.
What's going on?
All right, get out.
Turn around.
What are you doing, man?
You're not going
to hit me, are you?
Just turn around, pal, all right?
Look, I'm sorry
about Debbie, but I--
Just drop it, Mike!
Check this out.
That's the stuff.
That's the stuff
that I was telling you about
that was all wrapped
around Joe Lombardo.
Where'd you get that?
Over in that Jeep over there.
- That's McReed's Jeep.
- Who's McReed?
Bob McReed.
He was up here tonight
with me and Debbie.
Those are his glasses.
They got him. He's dead.
Crescent Cove police station.
Mooney speaking.
I'd like
to report a disturbance.
Wait a minute. Calm down.
I can't understand you.
- Clowns!
- What?
They're at my front door!
They're destroying property!
Clowns, huh?
And now they're
at your front door, huh?
They're at my front door right now!
Wait a minute. Who is this?
Would you just get over here?
Stupid kids and their pranks.
Rich little bastards.
I'd shoot them all.
Daddy sends them
to fancy schools...
...so the police department
can babysit the little pricks.
Police station.
Mooney speaking. Yeah.
Hello, Curt?
I think I have a bit
of a problem here.
Oh... Just a minute.
Jesus, not you, too, Mr. Myers.
Police station. Mooney here.
What?
They took my wife--
the clowns...
Oh. They took your wife away
in a balloon?
Well, you don't need the police, pal.
You need a psychiatrist!
- Mr. Myers?
Do the Terenzi brothers have
the whole town in on this?
Well, to hell with them all.
If they want to play games,
they're messing
with the wrong guy.
"" Huh?
Jesus! Oh, no!
Oh, no! Come on, Joe, get going!
' God!
I'll call the state police
up at Marlborough. They've got a lab.
Maybe somebody up there
can tell us what this stuff is.
It's not cotton candy,
that's for sure.
Yes. Finally. That's what
I've been telling you.
Look, I'm sorry I was
a little tough on you back there.
It's been a hard night.
Having Debbie involved
just makes it a lot more difficult.
What can I say?
I-- I didn't know--
It's got nothing to do
with you, really. It's me.
It's obvious she goes
for laughs, not stability.
- Boo.
- Oh...
Oh, my God.
Look, you can just
drop me off over here.
I'll take the bus home.
No way. You're the one
who's seen these things.
Look! A clown!
Right there!
There he is. I told you.
Will you get out there and shoot him?
- Get him, Dave. Kill him.
- Hang on, Mike.
Calm down. Let me check this out.
Holy shit!
I don't believe it.
Mike, let go! Mike! Mike!
What are you doing?
You could've gotten us killed!
I'm sorry.
I freaked out a little bit.
Where is he?
I don't know.
I don't see him anywhere.
He's gone.
He went straight up.
I've seen enough.
One Baker five. Curt,
do you read me? Over.
One Baker five.
This is Mooney speaking.
I was a little worried about you.
I thought the big bad clowns
got a hold of you.
Over.
Mooney, I want you
to listen to me
and don't say anything.
I want you to call
the state police and get help.
There are clowns,
and they are killing people. Over.
OK, let me get this straight.
You say there are clowns,
and you've seen them.
OK, Dave, that's it.
Screw you
and your college flunkies.
I've had enough of this
from you and from everyone else.
I know what you guys
are trying to do:
break me down,
drive me out of the force.
Well, it's going to take
a hell of a lot more
than a lame prank like this
to get Curtis Mooney
to throw in his badge,
so fuck you!
Over.
Mooney, this is an emergency.
Mooney!
He cut me off.
That son of a bitch cut me off!
I got to get-- I got
to get back to the station.
I-- I don't know
what I'm going to say,
but I got to get through
to the state police.
Paul, get the truck!
What about the girls?
Forget about the girls.
They eat too much.
They didn't pay
for the ice cream!
So what?
The truck's getting away!
Hey, those aren't killer clowns.
- Those are the Terenzi brothers.
- Terenzi brothers?
Get back to the station.
Radio for help.
I'm going to catch up
with my friends, try to warn people.
Tell everyone to stay indoors
and don't do anything stupid.
You, too.
- On, shit.
- You idiot!
Don't yell at me!
You were driving!
Can't you just do one thing right?
This whole ice cream
thing was your idea.
My idea? You said
we'd get girls this way.
No, I didn't. You did.
- You did.
- You did.
You did.
Hey, Rich, Paul!
Oh, man, am I glad
to see you guys.
Mike, how you doing?
You want some ice cream?
No, no, man, listen.
Something horrible
has happened. I need your help.
- What are you talking about?
- What's wrong?
There's no time to explain.
There's clowns
going around killing people.
Ha!
Tonight, Debbie and I were
up on the Top of the World,
and we followed this spaceship,
and there were these...
there were these clowns
carrying cotton candy cocoons
and they were shooting
these-- these-- these popcorn guns.
And there's-- there's
a circus tent spaceship, right?
But it's not there anymore,
but we were there.
We saw the whole thing.
And they say we're crazy. So?
Oh, come on, you guys.
I'm not fooling around.
Mike, what do you
want us to do?
We have ice cream
to sell tonight.
Paul, this is more important
than selling ice cream.
There's clowns going
around killing people.
We're all in danger.
Well, we haven't sold
that much ice cream tonight.
We haven't sold any.
Come on, guys, will you help me?
Look, at least take me
over to Debbie's house, OK?
I think she's in danger.
Does she have any roommates?
Yes. She's got two.
She's got two beautiful roommates...
with big boobs.
Do they like ice cream?
They love it.
What are we waiting for?
Come on!
You guys, get out of the way.
Frig youse all.
You ain't going to get
the best of me.
I made it through Korea.
I can make it through this bullshit.
Well...
whoop dee goddamn dee do.
What do we have here?
Well, son,
I think you made a big mistake.
You're in Mooney's territory now.
For me?
I ought to shoot you right now,
you red-nosed freak.
So you want to play games, eh?
Turn around!
All right.
I'm supposed to read you
your rights,
but you're in Mooney's jail...
...and you ain't got no rights.
All right, buster.
God.
Hey, Officer Mooney,
come on, let us out of here.
Are we going to be here
all night or what?
Yeah. We get
one phone call, don't we?
- Right. I'm going to call my--
- Shut up!
Get your hands up.
Get in there.
I don't know who you are,
but before this night's over,
you're going
to be begging for mercy.
What are you in for?
- Mooney!
Police department. Hello?
Mooney?
Mooney, you back here?
Oh, God.
Oh, God.
Oh, God.
Hey, Dave,
who was the lady I saw
you with last night?
Don't worry, Dave.
All we want to do is kill you.
C.C.P.D.,
this is Marlborough State Police.
Dave, Curt, are you there? Over.
Jack, Jack,
we need your assistance.
The town's gone crazy.
People are being killed. Over.
What's all these reports
about circus clowns?
These clowns aren't people.
They're some kind of creatures,
things from another planet.
Jack, they're killing people.
Officer Mooney is dead.
I know. I saw it. He was
killed by one of these things.
Could you send all available units
immediately, please? Over.
Come on, Jack!
OK, calm down, buddy.
Help is on the way.
Debbie.
Calling all clowns, calling all clowns.
This is Jojo.
Are there any space clowns out there?
You guys, will you
stop fooling around?
Look, Mike, come on.
Cocoons, popcorn guns,
monster shadows.
Ooh! I mean,
what do you think we are?
We're not as stupid as we look.
This isn't the first wild thing
you've tried to put over on us.
Look, you remember Hidden Lake?
Oh, come on, forget Hidden Lake.
This has nothing to do
with Hidden Lake.
We would have to be
total morons
to believe
this clown invasion crap.
If there are killer clowns
running around here,
then I'm Porky Pig.
Get the hell out of here.
Ah!
Ah!
Debbie, Debbie,
it's Mike. Open up.
Mike?
Debbie, Debbie, Debbie.
Ah!
OK, see this white house
right over here?
- Take a right-- I mean a left right here.
- A left?
- Right.
- Right.
No, left! Left!
The house right up...
Holy shit. What is that?
Uh-oh.
Wow. Look at that.
Mike!
Come on, we can't lose them!
They got Debbie!
Hey, Mike!
Come on, Rich, we're losing them.
Can you go a little bit faster?
Come on, Mike,
what do you want?
This is an ice cream truck.
Hey, Rich, the cops!
Stop the truck!
Ah!
Shit, Rich, now you did it.
I did it? What do you mean?
You told me to stop.
I didn't. I told you to pull over.
No, you didn't.
You said stop, so I stopped.
I meant pull over.
If you meant pull over,
you should have said pull over.
Why don't you say
what you mean next time?
Come on, let's go see
what happened.
Dave, are you OK?
Oh, God.
Oh, fuck. What the hell
are you guys doing?
They got Debbie.
Get in the truck, pal.
Gee, officer, I'm really sorry.
I was feeling a little queasy.
Hey, Mike, which way
were they heading?
They went that way,
but now we lost them.
I don't know where they went.
I do. If you were a clown,
where would you hide?
The amusement park!
' - Great!
- - All right!
The park's closed.
I'll have to ask you to leave.
What are you going to do
with those pies, boys?
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
Everybody stick together.
She's gone.
Wow. Hey, you guys,
this is weird.
Look at this stuff.
Looks like a wad
of melted ice cream.
Yeah, well, it's not.
on, shit.
Yeah.
Come on.
Mike, you take this and follow me.
All right, now, you guys,
no fooling around.
Stick together, OK?
What the hell's in here?
Ooh, scary!
Dave,
did you get through for help?
Yeah. Yeah, help is on the way.
You tell them it was an invasion?
I told them,
but I don't really believe it myself.
Where did they come from?
Why are they here?
Why, why clowns?
They're not clowns.
They're some kind of animal
from another world
that just look like clowns.
Shit, Dave.
Dave, maybe they're
the ancient astronauts
that came to our planet
centuries ago,
and our idea of clowns
just comes from them.
Well, how come they're not funny?
Maybe they're
from a dying planet.
Maybe their sun pooped out
and they need a new place to live.
Maybe they're using us
for experiments to dissect and study.
So that means they're intelligent.
So why don't they
communicate with us?
I mean, talk to us
instead of killing us?
Maybe they're just
cruising through the galaxy
and stopped here
for a bite to eat.
Yeah. Look, everybody,
let's just hold off
on the talking, OK?
Let's not give ourselves away.
What are we gonna do
when we find them?
- Can we kill 'em?
- Yeah. You shoot 'em in the nose.
Hey, watch this.
Cool.
Whoo!
What happened?
- What did you do?
- I didn't do anything.
Look, don't touch anything, OK?
This place is probably
booby-trapped.
All right now,
look you guys, stay together.
I don't want to have
to find you, too.
No problem.
We can handle it.
Yeah. OK.
All right, let's go.
Where'd they go?
Come on, Rich, Paul.
Hey, look, don't worry
about the Terenzi brothers.
They do this all the time.
Those guys are like cats.
They always land
on their feet.
' Oh! Ah!
" Ooh!
Are you Debbie's roommates?
Wait a second.
I recognize this place.
This is the tent
that Debbie and I were in.
Come on!
Go, Mike.
OK, this is where
we were before.
Oh, this is incredible.
Looks like they got
the whole town.
We got to find her.
What color balloon was she in?
Uh... Yellow.
All right.
Sh!
See anything, Mike?
No.
This is impossible, Mike.
Sh. Quiet.
Move back.
Paul was right, man.
They are hungry.
They're gonna eat everybody, man!
Just calm down.
Just calm down, all right?
We got to find Debbie
before it's too late.
All right.
Hey. Hey, that's the one.
The yellow balloon.
Is she in there?
Yeah, she's in there!
Debbie!
- She's alive.
- Thank God.
How do we get her
out of here?
I don't know.
Careful, Mike.
Damn it!
Debbie. Honey.
- Hang on a sec, Mike.
- Damn!
- What are you doin'?
- Just stand back, Mike.
You can't shoot.
You could kill her.
Well, just back off, all right?
Now, just get ready to run.
Are you all right?
Are you OK?
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
I couldn't breathe.
It's OK. Hey, Mike,
hang on to her for a second.
Oh, God. We got to get
the hell out of here.
Come on, Debbie.
Come on, come on.
Oh, come on. Come on.
Wait a second, guys.
We can't leave.
There might be other people still alive
in these balloons.
Come on, it's too late!
Dave!
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Shoot him!
This way. Come on.
Yeah, come on.
What now?
Everybody, down.
We don't know
what's down here.
Come on, Mike.
Nobody's gonna put me
in a balloon again.
Come on, Mike.
Get a move on!
How come you guys
stopped here?
Good reason.
OK, which way do we go?
That doesn't really matter.
Let's go down here.
All right, come on.
Come on, let's try in here.
Whoo!
Come on.
Be careful.
Come on.
Shit! Another door!
I can't take this anymore!
Come on, open the door!
Another door!
Come on, Mike!
Another door?
- Another door?
- Hurry!
Debbie, come on!
Dave, come on!
Get the door, Mike!
- Come on.
- Here, here.
Come on.
Oh, God.
Thank God.
Look at this place.
Where do we go now?
Come on, let's go.
Ah!
Everyone, up on top.
Come on, let's move!
Come on!
Hurry!
Mike. Oh! Ah!
Ah!
- Ah!
- Uh!
Hey, Rich, Paul!
Stop! Leave them alone!
Do what I say or else! Uh...
I--
Give me the mike!
I am the great and powerful Jojo!
I command you to stop.
Do not hurt them.
Let them go.
You will obey. Let them go.
Now's our chance.
Rich! Paul!
Oh, man, am I glad
to see you guys!
Come on, let's go!
Get in the truck!
Let's go.
Come on, Mike.
Come on, Debbie.
- Come on, Rich!
- I'm tryin'!
- Turn it the right way!
- I am!
Rich!
Come on, Rich!
Pull the choke, pull the choke.
Dave.
What the hell is that?
I don't want to play here anymore.
Can we go home now?
Let's make a run for it.
Just get out of here. Come on.
Everyone out of the truck!
Come on!
We can't! It's rented!
on!
Hey, Rich! Paul!
No, Mike, Mike!
It's too late, bud.
Look, there's a way out now.
Mike, take Debbie.
Get her out of here.
I'll draw its attention.
No! Dave, don't!
We can all make it!
We can't, Debbie.
- Stop it!
- Get her out of here, Mike!
- What are you doing?
- Now, Mike!
Dave!
Come on, guys, move!
Run for help!
Over here!
Come on, you damn clown.
Come on, you!
Come on!
They're takin' off!
- Dave! Dave!
- Dave!
- Oh!
- You made it.
- Oh!
- You got 'em, man.
Wow! What a ride!
That's the last time
we let you drive.
You're alive!
Yeah.
But I saw you guys
get blown up
in the ice cream truck.
Oh, that. We hid
in the freezer with the ice cream.
Yeah. Anybody want a dip-sicle?
- Oh, you and your ice cream.
- What?
How we gonna pay
for the truck?
Don't blame me.
It was your idea.
No, it wasn't. You're the one who said
we could get girls this way.
No, you said we could.
If it wasn't for me,
you'd be a dead French fry.
Oh yeah, well, you'd be
a dead Popsicle.
Do-- Do you think it's over?
Yeah, sure.
P. T. Barnum said it so long ago
There's one born every minute
That you know
Killer klowns
Some make us laugh
Some make us cry
These klowns
only gonna make you die
Everybody's runnin'
When the circus
comes into the towns
Everybody's gunnin' for the likes
Of the killer klowns
From outer space
Killer klow-wow-wow-wow-ooh
From outer space
Chuckle
The ringmaster shouts
"Let the show begin"
Send in the klowns
Then they'll let you in
Killer klowns
See the rubber nose
on the painted face
Bringing genocide
to the human race
It's time to take a ride
On the nightmare merry-go-round
You'll be dead on arrival
From the likes
of the killer klowns
From outer space
Killer klow-wow-wow-wow-ooh
From outer space
There's cotton candy
in their hands
Says the polka-dotted man
With a stalk of jacaranda
They're all diabolical bozos
Chuckle
Oh, look around
What do you see?
Tell me what's become
of humanity
Killer klowns
The California shores
to New York Times Square
Follow them, baby, everywhere
If you've ever wondered why
the population's gain' down
Blame it on the plunder
From the likes
of the killer klowns
From outer space
Killer klow-wow-wow-wow-ooh
From outer space
Killer klowns
English - US - PSDH
Killer klowns
P. T. Barnum said it so long ago
There's one born every minute
That you know
Some make us laugh
Some make us cry
These clowns
only gonna make you die
Everybody's runnin'
When the circus
comes into the towns
Everybody's gunnin' for the likes
Of the killer klowns
Chuckle
The ringmaster shouts
"Let the show begin"
Send in the clowns
Then they'll let you in
See the rubber nose
On the painted face
Bringing genocide
to the human race
It's time to take a ride
On the nightmare merry-go-round
You'll be dead on arrival
From the likes
of the killer klowns
From outer space
There's cotton candy
in their hands...
Little son of a bitch.
Cops
This is Mooney calling in.
Read you. What's doing, Curt?
Nothing yet, Dave,
but Friday night's just starting.
I'm heading across town
to the park.
Check in with you later.
That was a hot tune
from The Doorman,
but now we're going
to slow it down a little bit
for all you make-out artists
at the Top of the World.
Give me a cold one.
All right.
I'm Jojo the ice cream clown
with the bestest ice cream in town.
We'll give you the stick,
you give it a lick,
and it'll tickle you
all the way down.
Ice cream, ice cream.
We brought our goodies
here to you--
a tasty treat for while you screw.
Let's take a break.
Cool off those hot lips
with our tasty
frozen fruity bars--
icy wicys,
fudgy wudgy bars,
and everyone's favorite
frozen delight,
the lick-a-stick.
Jeez, what the--
Get out of here,
you morons!
Hey, take
your ice cream and get lost.
Oh, yeah?
Quiet down.
You got the speaker on.
Beat it, you jerk.
So, you don't want
any ice cream?
Well, you're not getting any.
We were getting it
before you showed up.
Those guys, man--
What the hell
are they doing here?
Great idea, Paul.
Everybody loves ice cream.
What do you mean?
It was your idea.
Hey, why don't we just
park here for a while?
Hey, what are you guys
trying to pull here?
Well, we thought we'd
park here for a while.
You said we could have
all the ice cream we wanted,
but you didn't say
anything about parking.
What kind of girls
do you think we are?
I told you they
weren't that stupid.
We want you to take us
home right now.
- Yeah.
- Take it easy.
Keep your shirt on.
Don't worry. We intend to.
Well, this worked out just great.
Don't blame me.
I didn't want to come here.
Hey, why don't we try the drive-in?
Oh, that's dumb.
Hey, wait a minute.
What's playing?
Knuckleheads.
You know those guys?
Those guys are
my best friends from school.
I tell you, whenever
I want to have a good time,
I call Rich and Paul.
A night outwith those guys...
...is a total adventure.
What am I talking about
the Terenzi brothers for,
when I would much rather
- be kissing you?
- Oh...
This is great.
Yeah.
Wow, check that out.
Did you see that?
Yeah, I saw that.
That was incredible.
Well, I'll be hornswoggled.
Did you see
that little old sky guppy
zip down in there, Pooh?
Hoo!
It's Halley's Comet,
and he's landed in our backyard.
There's gonna be
thousands of people.
Thousands of people are coming.
They're gonna have hot dogs.
Gonna have helicopters and airplanes
and tacos.
It's--
This is our lucky day.
We's gonna be rich, Pooh.
We gonna be rich.
Come on, let's go check it out.
Oh, come on. No way.
Debbie, it's a waste of time.
It's got to be 1,000 miles away.
We'd ruin our whole evening.
Don't give me that.
You saw how close it was.
It landed right over the hill.
Now, that is not 1,000 miles away.
Come on.
You can find it,
Mr. Adventure.
Debbie, don't you want
to finish our champagne?
Take it with us.
Come on.
OK.
Heel.
Come on, come on.
Attention, dog. Come on.
Well...
I'll be greased and fried.
What in blue blazes
is the circus doing
up in these parts?
I love the circus.
Come on.
Maybe we can get us
some free passes.
Come on, Pooh.
I never seen one that looked
like this one before.
Well...
I don't know, Pooh.
You know, there's something
kind of peculiar around here.
Where is everybody?
There ain't nobody around.
Where-- where's
the dang ticket booth?
How are we supposed to get in
and see the show?
Pooh?
Pooh Bear?
Where is that dog?
Pooh?
Something funny's happening
around here.
What in tarnation's going on here?
Oh!
Where's my dog?
Where's my Pooh Bear?
I'll tear this thing apart
with my bare hands!
Oh, ha-ha! Ow!
This thing is wired.
All right, get in there!
What's going on, Curt?
Same old shit.
I caught them boozing it up
in the park.
We're just walking through the park
on the way to the dorm.
We had a bottle of wine.
Yeah. It's a beautiful night.
We were walking around.
We didn't do nothing.
You guys go to the college, right?
Yeah. Yeah, right.
So why don't you just stay there
and do your drinking on campus?
Why do you have to come into town?
Well, I mean,
we live in this town, too.
I mean, we don't have
to just stay on campus.
Yeah...
and it's scum like you
that are killing this town.
Come on, Curt! Curt!
Come on, come on, Curt.
Now, just take it easy.
What's the matter, Dave?
You got a thing
for these little boys?
Empty your pockets!
We just had a little wine.
What's the problem?
You're the problem,
you little shit!
Just lighten up, Mooney.
Just lighten up.
Back off, Dave.
Open container,
public intoxication,
littering, disturbing the peace,
resisting arrest--
These kids are history.
Unless you want to rewrite the laws,
Mr. Police Academy.
Look. You got this
problem with my training,
I don't care,
but when you bring someone
into the station,
I don't want to see you
beating them up.
Now, if you're going to book them,
do it according to procedure,
or I swear, Curt,
you and that badge of yours
will be history.
I'll tell you what's going
to be history, Dave--
these kids.
Now, get in there.
Get in there!
Shit.
Yeah, it looks like we're
going to have to walk from here.
Let's see.
If instinct serve chief correct...
- Uh-huh.
- Path lie...
that way.
We must travel many moons--
many...
many moons.
Many...
many...
Enough already
with the moons.
Lead the way,
Chief Running-at-the-mouth.
Holy shit.
That was no shooting star.
Looks like a...
Circus tent.
What's a circus tent
doing all the way out here?
It's a pretty lousy
location for a show.
Something's wrong.
This-- this doesn't feel right.
Weren't we looking
for the shooting star?
Come on, this looks neat.
Let's check this out.
No.
Let's go. I've seen enough.
Oh, come on, Deb.
I want to take a closer look.
You can stay here.
Alone?
Well, would you be more scared
if you came with me
or if I left you here?
If you left me here.
Let's go.
Come on.
Come on.
OK, OK. I'm coming.
Come on, let's check this out.
No. Mike.
Mike, we-- we better not.
Deb, you are going
to love this.
Don't be a baby.
This is bizarre.
What kind of circus is this?
This is that new wave
European circus fantastique.
Hurry, hurry.
Step rig ht UP
See the circus bizarro.
Come one, come all.
Step right up, little lady.
Don't be shy. Don't be stupid.
Come see the incredible
Miss 50-50--
half man, half woman--
the perfect double date.
Oh, yeah.
That's right, little lady.
Step right up here
and see Gumbo,
the toothless elephant.
Or right over here,
we've got Belinda,
the bulimic wonder.
Watch her binge and purge
before your very eyes. Ha!
Mike, keep it down.
Somebody will catch us.
God, is this place great or what?
I mean, it looks like
it was decorated
by Clowns "R" Us.
I don't know.
So, how much further
you want to go?
Well...
Well, let's just go down
to the end of this hall
where those doors are.
Come on.
This is no funhouse.
No circus, either.
What?
I can't believe it.
What is it,
a nuclear power plant?
No.
A missile silo?
No.
A military base?
No! No!
The shooting star.
What are you talking about?
The shooting star
we went to go look for--
we are in it.
What was that?
I don't know...
...but it's coming this way.
Here. Come on.
Look at this place.
It smells like candy.
You know, I don't know
what we saw out there before, but...
this looks like
a cotton candy factory to me.
Yeah.
This must be where
they hang it up to dry
before they ship the stuff out.
No, it's not.
I've never seen anything
like this before, have you?
No.
Well, that's because nobody has.
I don't believe in UFOs,
but if they do exist,
then-- then we're trapped
in one right now.
Debbie, will you just calm down?
There's got to be a logical
explanation for this.
This isn't what you think it is.
Nobody stores
cotton candy like this.
What are you talking about?
Of course it is.
Look.
Joe Lombardo.
Down this way.
Are you OK?
I think so.
Come on.
Popcorn? Why popcorn?
Because they're clowns,
that's why.
Mike, get me out of here!
Hurry, they're coming!
We have to tell the police.
We're going to run to the police
and tell them there's
a bunch of clowns
running around killing
people with cotton candy?
I have a friend there.
I know he'll believe us.
I don't know, Debbie.
I wouldn't even believe us.
What the heck?
Dave!
Oh, my God!
Something horrible has happened!
Somebody's been killed!
Wait a second, Debbie.
What happened?
You got to help us!
We got to do something!
There are two people dead!
- Who, Debbie? Who's dead?
- Joe Lombardo. He's dead.
And-- and some old man, too.
Wait a second, guys.
Are you sure about this?
Yes! it-- they were hanging there
wrapped up
in these cotton candy things--
these... cocoons.
Cocoons?
Yes, cocoons.
You know, cocoons.
All right, everybody calm down.
Look, Debbie, come inside
and explain this to me.
I'd like to help you,
but before I can,
I've got to understand
what's going on here myself.
I really need
to get some mascara, OK?
OK, why don't
we just go to the drugstore?
OK? And then we'll go on.
Look.
Cute.
All right, sit down.
Let's start from the beginning,
all right?
OK, OK.
We were up
at the Top of the World,
and-- and we saw
this shooting star,
and we decided to go look for it.
But instead of finding
the shooting star,
we saw this-- this circus tent.
And that's when we went inside,
and that's when
we saw all those people
in those-- those pink
cotton candy cocoons.
Dave, it was not a circus tent.
It was something else.
- What? What?
- It was a spaceship,
and there was these things,
these... killer clowns,
and they shot popcorn at us.
We barely got away.
Killer clowns from outer space?
Holy shit.
Dave, we are telling you the truth.
You've got to believe us.
Let me tell you something, honey.
I was just over there.
There's nothing going on.
Excuse me, please,
but we're talking to Dave.
Now, just hold on a second, Mooney.
They say some people are dead.
Let's hear them out.
All right, Dave.
OK.
Clowns, cotton candy,
flying popcorn.
Go ahead. Let them make fools out
of the police department.
I told you,
I was just over there!
You going to believe
this little tramp?
Come on, Mooney!
I'm handling this, all right?
All right, all right, Debbie,
who's your friend?
Mike. We go to school together.
You two were up
at Top of the World together?
Yeah.
I know you, you little fart.
You hang out
with the Terenzi brothers.
Clowns? I get it.
Another one of their stupid stunts
to sell ice cream
from that goddamn truck
those hoodlums run around in.
Well, now I really believe this.
Well, you better go now, Dave,
before the clowns take over, huh?
And when you get back
from saving the world,
I want a full written report
so I can give it to the chief
when he gets back on Monday.
Look, everything happened
just the way we said.
We are telling you the truth.
All right, all right.
You two come with me.
Come on.
Hurry up, Dave.
Don't let them get away.
Go ahead, Dave...
...make a dummy out of yourself.
But you're not going
to make a dummy out of me.
You, in the back.
Uh... Oh... Um...
Whoa! Oh...
Excuse me.
Oh. Oh, my.
Ma)' I help you?
Oh, no!
Oh, no.
All right, we're going up there
to check this out.
First, I'm taking you home, Debbie.
No way.
I'm going back up there with you.
You can't tell me what to do.
Debbie, just listen to me, would you?
I don't have to listen to you.
You are not my boyfriend
anymore, all right?
Yeah, that's right.
I'm not your boyfriend anymore.
That doesn't change the way
I feel about you, though.
Dave, please.
Don't do this to me.
All right, Debbie,
you got a choice.
Either go home,
or I'm going to take you
back to the station and lock you up
for safekeeping. How's that?
Oh.
Pizza.
Uh-huh.
Oh! For me?
Oh!
Oh, Jim... is this from you?
- On!
Look, Debbie...
May I please speak
to Mike outside?
Fine. Sure.
Thank you.
Your old boyfriend?
This is great.
Will you come here?
He's probably going
to take me up on top of the hill
and shoot me.
Look, don't worry about Dave.
It's those clowns
you got to worry about.
Listen, as soon as you guys leave here,
I'm going to follow
you guys up there.
You're going
to follow us up there?
Debbie, I don't even
want to go up there.
Listen, you stay
inside the house
and keep the door locked.
I'll be back here in a little bit
to check on you.
OK?
You better.
That's good timing.
Ooh!
Oh!
Wait a minute.
Where is it?
Yeah, that's what
I'd like to know, pal.
It was right there
where that hole is.
So are you saying that hole
is where the tent was?
The tent made that hole--
is that what you're telling me?
Yes! It was there.
Look, we saw it.
That's a fact.
I'll tell you what
the facts are, mister.
You said people are being killed.
Now, where are the bodies?
I don't know.
I saw Joe Lombardo dead.
I can only tell you
what I think I saw.
Oh, so now you just
think you saw?
No! I know what I saw.
I just can't prove it.
My proof is gone.
Yeah, right.
Turn around, pal.
Mooney was right, huh?
Got nothing better to do
but cause problems.
Well, you're not going
to get away with it this time.
Get away with what?
Debbie saw it, too.
- Yeah, she did, didn't she?
- Ow!
Come on.
Hey, Eddie, is that
a new bike you got?
What's happening, Spike?
Ooh!
Big bad Jojo comin' into town.
Watch this, baby.
Is that bike too big for you?
Hey, Patty!
Mean bike you got there.
Yeah.
Can I take a ride...
- pal?
- Uh-uh!
Can I beep the horn?
Mm-hm.
Oh, thank you!
He should've let the man
ride his bike.
I'm sorry.
I seem to have
broken your bike.
Where'd he go?
Put up your dukes, put up your dukes!
What are you going to do,
knock my block off?
Damn!
Hey, come on,
let's get out of here!
Come on, guys!
Get me out of here!
Here's some more ketchup
for your French fries.
Now, here's
some more ketchup.
I want you to sit still
and eat your hamburger.
You know, this isn't
as much fun as it used to be.
It is if you're the winners.
Back here, young lady.
You're not going anywhere
until you finish your food.
What's going on?
All right, get out.
Turn around.
What are you doing, man?
You're not going
to hit me, are you?
Just turn around, pal, all right?
Look, I'm sorry
about Debbie, but I--
Just drop it, Mike!
Check this out.
That's the stuff.
That's the stuff
that I was telling you about
that was all wrapped
around Joe Lombardo.
Where'd you get that?
Over in that Jeep over there.
- That's McReed's Jeep.
- Who's McReed?
Bob McReed.
He was up here tonight
with me and Debbie.
Those are his glasses.
They got him. He's dead.
Crescent Cove police station.
Mooney speaking.
I'd like
to report a disturbance.
Wait a minute. Calm down.
I can't understand you.
- Clowns!
- What?
They're at my front door!
They're destroying property!
Clowns, huh?
And now they're
at your front door, huh?
They're at my front door right now!
Wait a minute. Who is this?
Would you just get over here?
Stupid kids and their pranks.
Rich little bastards.
I'd shoot them all.
Daddy sends them
to fancy schools...
...so the police department
can babysit the little pricks.
Police station.
Mooney speaking. Yeah.
Hello, Curt?
I think I have a bit
of a problem here.
Oh... Just a minute.
Jesus, not you, too, Mr. Myers.
Police station. Mooney here.
What?
They took my wife--
the clowns...
Oh. They took your wife away
in a balloon?
Well, you don't need the police, pal.
You need a psychiatrist!
- Mr. Myers?
Do the Terenzi brothers have
the whole town in on this?
Well, to hell with them all.
If they want to play games,
they're messing
with the wrong guy.
"" Huh?
Jesus! Oh, no!
Oh, no! Come on, Joe, get going!
' God!
I'll call the state police
up at Marlborough. They've got a lab.
Maybe somebody up there
can tell us what this stuff is.
It's not cotton candy,
that's for sure.
Yes. Finally. That's what
I've been telling you.
Look, I'm sorry I was
a little tough on you back there.
It's been a hard night.
Having Debbie involved
just makes it a lot more difficult.
What can I say?
I-- I didn't know--
It's got nothing to do
with you, really. It's me.
It's obvious she goes
for laughs, not stability.
- Boo.
- Oh...
Oh, my God.
Look, you can just
drop me off over here.
I'll take the bus home.
No way. You're the one
who's seen these things.
Look! A clown!
Right there!
There he is. I told you.
Will you get out there and shoot him?
- Get him, Dave. Kill him.
- Hang on, Mike.
Calm down. Let me check this out.
Holy shit!
I don't believe it.
Mike, let go! Mike! Mike!
What are you doing?
You could've gotten us killed!
I'm sorry.
I freaked out a little bit.
Where is he?
I don't know.
I don't see him anywhere.
He's gone.
He went straight up.
I've seen enough.
One Baker five. Curt,
do you read me? Over.
One Baker five.
This is Mooney speaking.
I was a little worried about you.
I thought the big bad clowns
got a hold of you.
Over.
Mooney, I want you
to listen to me
and don't say anything.
I want you to call
the state police and get help.
There are clowns,
and they are killing people. Over.
OK, let me get this straight.
You say there are clowns,
and you've seen them.
OK, Dave, that's it.
Screw you
and your college flunkies.
I've had enough of this
from you and from everyone else.
I know what you guys
are trying to do:
break me down,
drive me out of the force.
Well, it's going to take
a hell of a lot more
than a lame prank like this
to get Curtis Mooney
to throw in his badge,
so fuck you!
Over.
Mooney, this is an emergency.
Mooney!
He cut me off.
That son of a bitch cut me off!
I got to get-- I got
to get back to the station.
I-- I don't know
what I'm going to say,
but I got to get through
to the state police.
Paul, get the truck!
What about the girls?
Forget about the girls.
They eat too much.
They didn't pay
for the ice cream!
So what?
The truck's getting away!
Hey, those aren't killer clowns.
- Those are the Terenzi brothers.
- Terenzi brothers?
Get back to the station.
Radio for help.
I'm going to catch up
with my friends, try to warn people.
Tell everyone to stay indoors
and don't do anything stupid.
You, too.
- On, shit.
- You idiot!
Don't yell at me!
You were driving!
Can't you just do one thing right?
This whole ice cream
thing was your idea.
My idea? You said
we'd get girls this way.
No, I didn't. You did.
- You did.
- You did.
You did.
Hey, Rich, Paul!
Oh, man, am I glad
to see you guys.
Mike, how you doing?
You want some ice cream?
No, no, man, listen.
Something horrible
has happened. I need your help.
- What are you talking about?
- What's wrong?
There's no time to explain.
There's clowns
going around killing people.
Ha!
Tonight, Debbie and I were
up on the Top of the World,
and we followed this spaceship,
and there were these...
there were these clowns
carrying cotton candy cocoons
and they were shooting
these-- these-- these popcorn guns.
And there's-- there's
a circus tent spaceship, right?
But it's not there anymore,
but we were there.
We saw the whole thing.
And they say we're crazy. So?
Oh, come on, you guys.
I'm not fooling around.
Mike, what do you
want us to do?
We have ice cream
to sell tonight.
Paul, this is more important
than selling ice cream.
There's clowns going
around killing people.
We're all in danger.
Well, we haven't sold
that much ice cream tonight.
We haven't sold any.
Come on, guys, will you help me?
Look, at least take me
over to Debbie's house, OK?
I think she's in danger.
Does she have any roommates?
Yes. She's got two.
She's got two beautiful roommates...
with big boobs.
Do they like ice cream?
They love it.
What are we waiting for?
Come on!
You guys, get out of the way.
Frig youse all.
You ain't going to get
the best of me.
I made it through Korea.
I can make it through this bullshit.
Well...
whoop dee goddamn dee do.
What do we have here?
Well, son,
I think you made a big mistake.
You're in Mooney's territory now.
For me?
I ought to shoot you right now,
you red-nosed freak.
So you want to play games, eh?
Turn around!
All right.
I'm supposed to read you
your rights,
but you're in Mooney's jail...
...and you ain't got no rights.
All right, buster.
God.
Hey, Officer Mooney,
come on, let us out of here.
Are we going to be here
all night or what?
Yeah. We get
one phone call, don't we?
- Right. I'm going to call my--
- Shut up!
Get your hands up.
Get in there.
I don't know who you are,
but before this night's over,
you're going
to be begging for mercy.
What are you in for?
- Mooney!
Police department. Hello?
Mooney?
Mooney, you back here?
Oh, God.
Oh, God.
Oh, God.
Hey, Dave,
who was the lady I saw
you with last night?
Don't worry, Dave.
All we want to do is kill you.
C.C.P.D.,
this is Marlborough State Police.
Dave, Curt, are you there? Over.
Jack, Jack,
we need your assistance.
The town's gone crazy.
People are being killed. Over.
What's all these reports
about circus clowns?
These clowns aren't people.
They're some kind of creatures,
things from another planet.
Jack, they're killing people.
Officer Mooney is dead.
I know. I saw it. He was
killed by one of these things.
Could you send all available units
immediately, please? Over.
Come on, Jack!
OK, calm down, buddy.
Help is on the way.
Debbie.
Calling all clowns, calling all clowns.
This is Jojo.
Are there any space clowns out there?
You guys, will you
stop fooling around?
Look, Mike, come on.
Cocoons, popcorn guns,
monster shadows.
Ooh! I mean,
what do you think we are?
We're not as stupid as we look.
This isn't the first wild thing
you've tried to put over on us.
Look, you remember Hidden Lake?
Oh, come on, forget Hidden Lake.
This has nothing to do
with Hidden Lake.
We would have to be
total morons
to believe
this clown invasion crap.
If there are killer clowns
running around here,
then I'm Porky Pig.
Get the hell out of here.
Ah!
Ah!
Debbie, Debbie,
it's Mike. Open up.
Mike?
Debbie, Debbie, Debbie.
Ah!
OK, see this white house
right over here?
- Take a right-- I mean a left right here.
- A left?
- Right.
- Right.
No, left! Left!
The house right up...
Holy shit. What is that?
Uh-oh.
Wow. Look at that.
Mike!
Come on, we can't lose them!
They got Debbie!
Hey, Mike!
Come on, Rich, we're losing them.
Can you go a little bit faster?
Come on, Mike,
what do you want?
This is an ice cream truck.
Hey, Rich, the cops!
Stop the truck!
Ah!
Shit, Rich, now you did it.
I did it? What do you mean?
You told me to stop.
I didn't. I told you to pull over.
No, you didn't.
You said stop, so I stopped.
I meant pull over.
If you meant pull over,
you should have said pull over.
Why don't you say
what you mean next time?
Come on, let's go see
what happened.
Dave, are you OK?
Oh, God.
Oh, fuck. What the hell
are you guys doing?
They got Debbie.
Get in the truck, pal.
Gee, officer, I'm really sorry.
I was feeling a little queasy.
Hey, Mike, which way
were they heading?
They went that way,
but now we lost them.
I don't know where they went.
I do. If you were a clown,
where would you hide?
The amusement park!
' - Great!
- - All right!
The park's closed.
I'll have to ask you to leave.
What are you going to do
with those pies, boys?
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
Everybody stick together.
She's gone.
Wow. Hey, you guys,
this is weird.
Look at this stuff.
Looks like a wad
of melted ice cream.
Yeah, well, it's not.
on, shit.
Yeah.
Come on.
Mike, you take this and follow me.
All right, now, you guys,
no fooling around.
Stick together, OK?
What the hell's in here?
Ooh, scary!
Dave,
did you get through for help?
Yeah. Yeah, help is on the way.
You tell them it was an invasion?
I told them,
but I don't really believe it myself.
Where did they come from?
Why are they here?
Why, why clowns?
They're not clowns.
They're some kind of animal
from another world
that just look like clowns.
Shit, Dave.
Dave, maybe they're
the ancient astronauts
that came to our planet
centuries ago,
and our idea of clowns
just comes from them.
Well, how come they're not funny?
Maybe they're
from a dying planet.
Maybe their sun pooped out
and they need a new place to live.
Maybe they're using us
for experiments to dissect and study.
So that means they're intelligent.
So why don't they
communicate with us?
I mean, talk to us
instead of killing us?
Maybe they're just
cruising through the galaxy
and stopped here
for a bite to eat.
Yeah. Look, everybody,
let's just hold off
on the talking, OK?
Let's not give ourselves away.
What are we gonna do
when we find them?
- Can we kill 'em?
- Yeah. You shoot 'em in the nose.
Hey, watch this.
Cool.
Whoo!
What happened?
- What did you do?
- I didn't do anything.
Look, don't touch anything, OK?
This place is probably
booby-trapped.
All right now,
look you guys, stay together.
I don't want to have
to find you, too.
No problem.
We can handle it.
Yeah. OK.
All right, let's go.
Where'd they go?
Come on, Rich, Paul.
Hey, look, don't worry
about the Terenzi brothers.
They do this all the time.
Those guys are like cats.
They always land
on their feet.
' Oh! Ah!
" Ooh!
Are you Debbie's roommates?
Wait a second.
I recognize this place.
This is the tent
that Debbie and I were in.
Come on!
Go, Mike.
OK, this is where
we were before.
Oh, this is incredible.
Looks like they got
the whole town.
We got to find her.
What color balloon was she in?
Uh... Yellow.
All right.
Sh!
See anything, Mike?
No.
This is impossible, Mike.
Sh. Quiet.
Move back.
Paul was right, man.
They are hungry.
They're gonna eat everybody, man!
Just calm down.
Just calm down, all right?
We got to find Debbie
before it's too late.
All right.
Hey. Hey, that's the one.
The yellow balloon.
Is she in there?
Yeah, she's in there!
Debbie!
- She's alive.
- Thank God.
How do we get her
out of here?
I don't know.
Careful, Mike.
Damn it!
Debbie. Honey.
- Hang on a sec, Mike.
- Damn!
- What are you doin'?
- Just stand back, Mike.
You can't shoot.
You could kill her.
Well, just back off, all right?
Now, just get ready to run.
Are you all right?
Are you OK?
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
I couldn't breathe.
It's OK. Hey, Mike,
hang on to her for a second.
Oh, God. We got to get
the hell out of here.
Come on, Debbie.
Come on, come on.
Oh, come on. Come on.
Wait a second, guys.
We can't leave.
There might be other people still alive
in these balloons.
Come on, it's too late!
Dave!
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Shoot him!
This way. Come on.
Yeah, come on.
What now?
Everybody, down.
We don't know
what's down here.
Come on, Mike.
Nobody's gonna put me
in a balloon again.
Come on, Mike.
Get a move on!
How come you guys
stopped here?
Good reason.
OK, which way do we go?
That doesn't really matter.
Let's go down here.
All right, come on.
Come on, let's try in here.
Whoo!
Come on.
Be careful.
Come on.
Shit! Another door!
I can't take this anymore!
Come on, open the door!
Another door!
Come on, Mike!
Another door?
- Another door?
- Hurry!
Debbie, come on!
Dave, come on!
Get the door, Mike!
- Come on.
- Here, here.
Come on.
Oh, God.
Thank God.
Look at this place.
Where do we go now?
Come on, let's go.
Ah!
Everyone, up on top.
Come on, let's move!
Come on!
Hurry!
Mike. Oh! Ah!
Ah!
- Ah!
- Uh!
Hey, Rich, Paul!
Stop! Leave them alone!
Do what I say or else! Uh...
I--
Give me the mike!
I am the great and powerful Jojo!
I command you to stop.
Do not hurt them.
Let them go.
You will obey. Let them go.
Now's our chance.
Rich! Paul!
Oh, man, am I glad
to see you guys!
Come on, let's go!
Get in the truck!
Let's go.
Come on, Mike.
Come on, Debbie.
- Come on, Rich!
- I'm tryin'!
- Turn it the right way!
- I am!
Rich!
Come on, Rich!
Pull the choke, pull the choke.
Dave.
What the hell is that?
I don't want to play here anymore.
Can we go home now?
Let's make a run for it.
Just get out of here. Come on.
Everyone out of the truck!
Come on!
We can't! It's rented!
on!
Hey, Rich! Paul!
No, Mike, Mike!
It's too late, bud.
Look, there's a way out now.
Mike, take Debbie.
Get her out of here.
I'll draw its attention.
No! Dave, don't!
We can all make it!
We can't, Debbie.
- Stop it!
- Get her out of here, Mike!
- What are you doing?
- Now, Mike!
Dave!
Come on, guys, move!
Run for help!
Over here!
Come on, you damn clown.
Come on, you!
Come on!
They're takin' off!
- Dave! Dave!
- Dave!
- Oh!
- You made it.
- Oh!
- You got 'em, man.
Wow! What a ride!
That's the last time
we let you drive.
You're alive!
Yeah.
But I saw you guys
get blown up
in the ice cream truck.
Oh, that. We hid
in the freezer with the ice cream.
Yeah. Anybody want a dip-sicle?
- Oh, you and your ice cream.
- What?
How we gonna pay
for the truck?
Don't blame me.
It was your idea.
No, it wasn't. You're the one who said
we could get girls this way.
No, you said we could.
If it wasn't for me,
you'd be a dead French fry.
Oh yeah, well, you'd be
a dead Popsicle.
Do-- Do you think it's over?
Yeah, sure.
P. T. Barnum said it so long ago
There's one born every minute
That you know
Killer klowns
Some make us laugh
Some make us cry
These klowns
only gonna make you die
Everybody's runnin'
When the circus
comes into the towns
Everybody's gunnin' for the likes
Of the killer klowns
From outer space
Killer klow-wow-wow-wow-ooh
From outer space
Chuckle
The ringmaster shouts
"Let the show begin"
Send in the klowns
Then they'll let you in
Killer klowns
See the rubber nose
on the painted face
Bringing genocide
to the human race
It's time to take a ride
On the nightmare merry-go-round
You'll be dead on arrival
From the likes
of the killer klowns
From outer space
Killer klow-wow-wow-wow-ooh
From outer space
There's cotton candy
in their hands
Says the polka-dotted man
With a stalk of jacaranda
They're all diabolical bozos
Chuckle
Oh, look around
What do you see?
Tell me what's become
of humanity
Killer klowns
The California shores
to New York Times Square
Follow them, baby, everywhere
If you've ever wondered why
the population's gain' down
Blame it on the plunder
From the likes
of the killer klowns
From outer space
Killer klow-wow-wow-wow-ooh
From outer space
Killer klowns
English - US - PSDH