Kung Fu Panda 4 (2024) Movie Script
1
- Hello.
- Hello
- Hello.
- Hello.
That's how it is...
It's me, Tai Lung.
It just can't be.
I have returned to
take what is mine.
That is, everything that is yours.
Let it be known from the highest
mountain to the deepest valley...
that Tai Lung lives...
and that no one
will stand in his way.
Not even the great...
Dragon warrior!
KUNG FU PANDA 4
Ska-doosh.
Where is Po?
He was supposed
to arrive hours ago.
Ping, please.
Do you want to relax?
- I'm already relaxed!
- If you say so.
I assure you that Po is fine.
What if he is sick?
What if he's hurt?
What if he is hungry?
You drown in a glass of noodles.
If I know our son, he is sitting
on a stingray kicking in the water.
Kung Fu.
This is serious.
He's getting worse!
Hey, calm down!
Well big guy, I'm going
to wrap you like a tamale.
Again! Again!
- What fun.
- Let's go again.
And next time, don't go
overboard, Manta Ray.
I'm late!
I'm late!
I'm late!
It's The Dragon Warrior.
I was, I am and
I will always be.
We love you, Dragon Warrior.
I love you too, fans.
I have my scroll.
- And the hat?
- Sign the shirt.
I sign everything they want.
Po.
Master Shifu.
Haber, leave it to me.
Ready. It's already much worse.
We need to talk.
Of course, we have to talk.
But after the ceremony.
Ceremony? What ceremony?
The Staff of Wisdom.
It was given to me by
Master Oogway himself.
It is said that whoever possesses this Staff will
have the power to travel
from one Kingdom to another.
The power to open
the door of Spirit Realm.
And now, the power to open...
The new Dragon
Warrior noodles and tofu.
Where the soup kicks you.
And the noodles make you crazy.
Dragon warrior.
Are the Furious Five coming too?
Unfortunately not. They went on
super barbaric Kung Fu missions.
Tigress confronts the
band of free-range chickens.
Monkey follows the trail
of the Malandrn Macaque.
They named Crane
king of the crocodiles.
- Crane.
- Long story.
Viper leads the peace practices
between the Cobras and the Mongooses.
Or it is called Mongooses.
And Mantis, well, he's just trying to
keep his wife from eating his head.
Just because they're not
here in person doesn't mean...
They are not life-size cutouts.
Now, who wants a portrait?
Well well.
- One by one.
- I, I, no.
You.
My turn, my turn.
Yes, now you.
Her bitter face
came out very well.
We need to talk...
Now!
Hey, can you make
me a wallet size one?
- Po.
- I'm coming!
Do you remember the first time you
climbed this staircase to the Jade Palace?
How to forget it?
I thought I wasn't going
to make it to the top.
Yes, but you did it.
And again destiny calls you to
take the next step of your journey.
The next step?
What are you talking about?
I have already
taken all the steps.
Or not yet?
It's time for you to
choose your successor.
Successor of what?
A successor who will be
the next Dragon Warrior.
Yes, I understand.
How funny.
Because I am the Dragon Warrior.
Wait wait wait. As?
Do you mean I won't be
the Dragon Warrior anymore?
Exactly.
So what am I going to be?
When you have chosen your successor, you
will advance to the highest
level in all of Kung Fu.
Spiritual Leader of
the Valley of Peace.
Oh!
I do not know what that means.
Just like Master
Oogway before you.
You will oversee the Valley,
share wisdom and give hope.
Hey, thank you very
much for the promotion.
But I think I'm going to continue
with this whole Dragon Warrior thing.
This Dragon Warrior thing?
What are you holding?
A cookie?
In the other.
The Staff of Wisdom?
It was given to you
by Master Oogway.
Did you think what it was like to
open a restaurant or pose for portraits?
Wasn't it very specific either?
Oogway wanted to entrust you with that Staff
so that you could follow in his footsteps...
and become something better
than what you already are.
I give it to you.
No, Oogway didn't give it to me.
Being the next Oogway
is not my destiny.
Which I already accepted
and I'm at peace with that.
Oh really. I'm fine.
It does'nt sound good.
You don't sound good.
I'm very well.
It's okay, you're okay.
This is an honor.
Oogway chose you as his successor
and now you must choose yours.
Master Shifu, I finally found
something I'm good at...
and now you want
to take it away?
Nobody is taking
anything from you Po.
What you are will always
be part of what you will be.
Yes, but where
was the ska-doosh?
You know what I mean?
Shifu!
I don't want to be ungrateful...
but I don't know anything about
sharing wisdom and giving hope.
All I know are two things.
Kick ass and ask
questions later.
And if I'm completely honest,
I'm not even that good at asking.
Who was that
fire-breathing crocodile?
I think it was Steve?
You were chosen to bring
peace to the Valley and there
are other ways to bring peace, besides just kicking ass.
Well yes, but none
of them are that fun.
Please!
Being the Dragon
Warrior is all I know.
It's all I am!
Yes. Well, not anymore.
The Valley of Peace needs a spiritual
leader and the Master Oogway chose you.
He starts interviewing candidates
first thing tomorrow morning.
Candidates? What candidates?
But how barbaric!
Ska-doosh!
So original!
Come along.
Master Po will now choose
the next Dragon Warrior.
They are all great candidates.
I'll let my finger decide.
Wait, wait, what's going on?
The Dragon Warrior, it's me!
Even if you don't want to Po,
You must choose a successor.
Like they didn't have the
face of Warriors or Dragons.
You know it, when you know it.
How does one know
when one knows it?
Knows?
When I am conflicted,
I come here to ask the
Universe for answers, just like Oogway before me.
I'm not in conflict, I'm just
not ready to take the next step.
What is that you
have in your hand?
The Staff of Wisdom?
On the other hand.
A sucked peach pit?
Exactly.
Every seed has the
promise of a majestic tree.
And how will it help
me find answers?
Don't ask me.
Ask the Universe.
Be the seed, Po.
Be the seed.
Here we go.
Haber Universe.
Give me some guidance.
Inner peace.
Inner peace.
Inner peace.
Bread with beans.
Bread, yes
sir. With butter.
And some
steamed Dumplings.
Inner
peace.
Inner
peace.
This doesn't
work at all.
Maybe focus on
your breathing.
I'm trying, but it's a little difficult
when you keep talking to me.
Technically, you're talking to
yourself if you think about it.
Can you both shut up?
I'm trying to concentrate.
If I'm Po's inner
voice, who are you?
I am the innermost
inner voice.
How many voices
do I have in there?
- Better not even ask?
- This land is itchy.
But what am
I going to do?
These
wooden trees.
Hello!
Does anyone
have a pear?
No!
Universe?
It's
you?
Attention
mysterious figure.
The Dragon
Warrior is here.
To do
justice.
That?
I know you're
around.
It's only a matter of
time before he finds you.
You can't
hide forever!
The Fenghuang
Dagger.
You have excellent
taste, I admit it to you.
But I don't know
you, give it back to me
If you
insist.
No!
He has a cane to walk.
What are you going
to do, hit me grandpa?
This cane is not
for grandparents.
It is the Staff of Wisdom.
The Dragon Warrior will be angry
when he finds out that you stole his staff.
I am the Dragon Warrior.
Well, here you go: You don't have
the face of either a Warrior or a Dragon.
How dare you desecrate
the hall of heroes.
Who is desecrating what?
The egg of the master ostrich.
Sorry.
Master Tangorin's
indestructible hammer.
Oh!
The Urn of the Whispering Warriors,
that I have already broken twice!
Why do they have
an urn with souls?
It feels a little creepy.
You okay there, big guy?
You seem a little tired.
I've never been more awake!
Squirrel Master's warhammer?
You're going to pay for that.
Hey.
You are a fake.
It's not a farce, it's
called a method.
See you next time, panda!
No!
The next one is now!
Was it told to you?
You caught me.
Great and powerful
Dumpling Warrior.
It's the Dragon Warrior!
Let me go!
I want to know one thing: How did
someone like you
become a Dragon Warrior?
You will be able to solve that
mystery in your two years...
in the Valley of Peace Prison.
Valley of Peace Prison?
It sounds like a daycare.
It's a daycare on weekends,
but it is also a prison.
There is!
Dragon warrior!
- Tai Lung returned.
- Tai Lung returned?
He didn't demand
all of our steel.
-And then he destroyed the quarry!
-He is in the Spirit Realm!
Well he came back!
He said that he won't stop
until the Valley of Peace falls...
and the Dragon Warrior
kneels before him.
The return.
Please! You have
to do something!
It seems I'm not the only one
who has a mystery to solve.
Well, you know what they say.
Every step leaves a mark.
No matter how small it is.
Every step leaves a mark.
No matter how small it is.
Very clever, bitch. It seems
that you know something.
Maybe yes or maybe no.
Yes I know, yes I
know. I know something.
Tell me.
And why should I do
it? And what do I win?
The peace of mind of
knowing you did the right thing?
You're adorable.
Haven't they told you before?
And I'm not telling you this
just because you're stupid.
I don't have time for games!
Tai Lung is loose in
the Valley of Peace!
Maybe or...
maybe she wants you to
believe she was Tai Lung.
That?
- She?
- Look.
The Empress of Disguise, capable
of taking any form, to imitate any form.
The master of deception, the
scaly liar with a luminous look...
I'm talking about...
the Chameleon.
This is a private conversation.
Who is the Chameleon?
Only the most powerful
shapeshifting sorceress.
Then she changed
her form into Tai Lung!
But what does she have against
me and the Valley of Peace?
These are good questions.
You should ask her.
You're right.
How do I find that
one "the Chameleon"?
She is not someone she can meet.
Or at least not
without someone...
informed.
And how do I find
someone informed?
That's me.
Obviously it's... it's me.
I am the informed one.
Forget it. I'll find her alone.
Good luck!
How difficult can it be to
find someone who can look...
like anyone else
and go unnoticed.
Alright.
Take me to the Chameleon and I'll
see if I can get your sentence reduced.
Made.
What do you think you're doing?
There's a shape-shifting
sorceress, let loose...
That's a job for
The Furious Five.
But, they are not here. And someone
has to protect the Valley of Peace.
Look, I know change is hard and I
know you like being The Dragon Warrior.
But your job is to
find a successor.
The Dragon Warrior and I have a
deal. You don't get involved, squirrel.
Master Shifu is not a squirrel.
I am a red panda.
Did you know? I'm glad for you.
Po, this is your decision.
But I think you already know what decision
Master Oogway would
want you to make now.
Thanks for the hosting!
- What are you doing?
- Thanks for the daycare.
- Not bad for a prison.
- Where are you taking her?
You can not go away.
Don't worry, I'll bring her back
before they notice she's gone.
I know you're supposed to
share wisdom and give hope.
See it as one last adventure
of the Dragon Warrior.
I will be back soon. Tell
my parents that I love them.
I can't hear it from
here anymore. Bye bye.
Yeah! How good it
feels to be free again.
What a cute little
scratching hand.
Hey.
And does it really open
the door to the Spirit Realm?
That does not work like that.
They have to give it to
you to get their powers.
I already understood, giving
to obtain. So you give it to me?
No! So who do you think I am?
An easy target.
What is an easy target?
Someone who is
easy to steal from.
Generally because they are
generous and overly trusting. Like you.
How cute.
I heard that the Chameleon is a
monster with the appetite of 10 predators.
And her favorite food is panda.
The Chameleon...
It has magical powers.
If you say his name three times,
It will come for you in the night!
Hurrah!
The Chameleon can
take the form of anyone.
There is yours.
Or yours.
Mr. Li, Mr. Li, that's true?
Can I stop an evil sorceress?
To the Chameleon?
The Dragon Warrior's
work is never done.
Li, I'm thinking that Po
teamed up with a criminal...
to confront an evil sorceress.
It wasn't such a good idea.
Don't worry.
Po has faced demons, demigods
and everything in between.
And he has always triumphed.
Yes you're right.
You're right.
What if you're not right?
Calm down now, Ping.
How bad can an
evil sorceress be?
Who does he think
he is to make us come?
She wants to appear powerful.
We are the heads of the
strongest crime families in Junpero.
And she's just a bug-eyed,
power-hungry dwarf reptile.
They didn't mention that
she is an evil sorceress.
Before we dominated the city.
Now we pay her half of
the money we stole from her.
A criminal could no
longer earn an honest living.
Yes, but what can we do?
Together we can defeat it.
You're crazy?
She is a shapeshifter.
She could be at this very table
and we wouldn't have a clue.
And what's more, you
could be the Chameleon.
Or you are the Chameleon.
Or maybe.
No.
Maybe.
Do not say it.
I am the Chameleon.
That you didn't say it.
Obviously we talked about more.
Sorry, Chameleon.
No, no, don't apologize.
You and your families prospered
by taking advantage of the weak.
So they don't like being
taken advantage of.
Especially when the one being taken advantage
of is just a dwarf
reptile with bulging eyes.
What else did they say?
Hungry for power.
Well...
This dwarf reptile wants more.
You already have the whole city.
What more could you want?
I have something
special in mind.
And I'm close to getting it.
As close as the blood moon.
But the blood moon
is two nights away.
Very little time,
too many expenses.
And that's why I will have to
increase taxes this month to 60%
No!
What did
you say?
I mean, it's
not disrespect.
Don't
worry.
I forgive
you.
The
imprudence...
and talk
behind my back.
And the cynical lack of
respect you feel for me.
Yes, I
forgive.
But I never
forget.
You could say I
have the memory.
Do not
say it.
Of an
elephant.
Do you think I
pressured you too much?
So you, my friend, have
not begun to understand...
as far as I
can push.
We have
to do better.
And I await your
tribute at sunset.
Are we stopping
for lunch soon?
Justice doesn't
stop for lunch.
But once in a while it
takes time to have a snack.
Shall we share
my almond cookie?
Are you just going to give me half your
cookie out of the kindness of your heart?
What's the trick?
The trap, the scam.
The chanchu
what?
You know, the struggle,
the disappointment, the trick
Do you want the
cookie or not?
But I'm looking
at you, right?
Is it far from reaching
La Camaleona?
Only
a little.
Li, what are you doing outside
in the middle of the night?
I, I, didn't want to miss
the rise of the blood moon.
Yes of course!
You're just as worried as I am.
It's okay, it's okay.
I know that we pandas
seem calm, gentle, relaxed.
The truth is that...
I pee out of anguish.
Me too.
Or is it too calm, gentle and relaxed
to face a shape-shifting
sorceress.
What if they capture him?
What if they torture him?
Our baby!
It's okay, it's okay.
Maybe Po finally found
the shape of his shoe.
But he still has something that
the Chameleon doesn't have.
What thing?
Us.
Now let's go look for our son.
- I hope Po is okay.
- Do you know Li?
A wise goose once said: Worrying
doesn't make the
broth boil faster.
Who said that nonsense?
Me of course. I
was the wise goose.
Already.
It is the largest town
I have ever seen.
That's not a town.
That's Junipero City.
That's where I'll find
the Chameleon, right?
A boat away.
And I'm going to
take you to his door.
Are you sure we'll
find a ship captain?
For the right price, these scourges
will take us wherever we want.
Or of course we can always
ask Roberto for a discount.
No stealing.
Happy Rabbit Tavern.
That sounds cozy.
No!
Has anyone lost a rabbit?
Stir quickly!
Welcome to the
Happy Rabbit Tavern.
While I get a boat,
you could get food.
And don't look for problems.
Hey, what are you playing?
Mahjong.
With very high stakes.
I can play?
But don't take advantage of a
beginner, because I'm very beginner.
Hello.
What do I offer you?
A boat trip to Ciudad Junpero.
Ask him.
- Who is he?
- He is the Captain.
Thank you.
I won again.
I guess it's beginner's luck.
Have you never played?
Sorry, are you
accusing me of cheating?
I want to speak to
the manager, please.
The manager is in front of you.
Yes, I'll take you
to Junipero City.
But, I'm not going to
bring anything illegal.
I don't want problems.
Problems flee from me.
Well, it will cost you double.
I'm confused.
Should I have said
that I like problems?
In that case it
will cost you triple.
Can we go back
to double the price?
- You have a deal.
- Perfect.
Should I shake his hand or you?
Can I get you
something else, miss?
Yes, another
round of everything.
Minus the broth.
That was very tasteless.
Keep stirring.
Wow, one of each. It's
what I always ask for.
But how did you pay for this?
Everything was legal,
honest and without cheating.
I'm proud of you.
Wow, look at the time.
Now do you remember
that we have to do that...
there with that man?
Did they really think they
could get me a meal...
without paying?
This must be some
misunderstanding, right?
And apparently I was the
one who misunderstood.
Please allow us to pay
for our food and yours.
I just have cravings for...
- Dumplings?
- Revenge!
So come for her No,
no, no, don't come for her.
Destroy them!
I have you!
You are safe.
Better.
Come here.
Saved.
Don't stop stirring!
I'll take care of that for you.
I think this is yours.
Don't steal.
Yes, I think it's
too late for that.
It is never too late
to do the right thing.
- No.
- Grab them.
Careful!
Ska-doosh.
Good trick.
You have to show me.
You're going to die, panda!
Who puts a tavern on a cliff?
I shouldn't have eaten
so many Dumplings.
No!
Weigh anchor!
Go Go. Fast.
Not to be alarmist, but What if the
Chameleon knows we're coming?
It could be anyone anywhere.
Li, could you please
show some character?
I'm sorry, but bravery has
never been my specialty.
Don't you have to be brave?
You just have to be brave.
Play brave.
I get it.
Li.
- Don't let go.
- Don't let go of me Ping.
Everything was for nothing.
Please no.
I am very young!
How did I play the brave Ping?
He keeps practicing.
Junipero City.
That it feels good
to be back home.
Does your family
live there too?
They
would live.
If I had
a family.
It wasn't easy being a
fox cub in the big city.
And I had to survive
as best I could.
Hey.
Swindling,
deceiving, cajoling
Stop
running!
Stop
running!
Wow, you're an
orphan. Me too.
Well,
it was.
My daddy goose adopted me
and then my daddy panda found me.
Dad geese,
dad pandas.
There is something
for everyone.
Right,
mom?
Yeah!
Then someone from
here picked me up.
He offered me a roof, he
gave me clothes, food...
and then I was
never alone again.
I think we
were both lucky.
I think
so.
Hey tell me
something.
- In that Valley of the Belly.
- Peace.
What did that angry
little squirrel mean?
Red
panda.
When she said you
should find your successor.
Now that I'm going to
be the spiritual leader...
I must find a worthy successor
to become the Dragon Warrior.
If you're at the top, you
want to stay there, right?
No, it's just, what do I know
about being a spiritual leader?
I can't even think of those
proverbs that sound barbaric.
The mortal enemy of life
is... What do I know, stairs?
Well!
We all know that the
mortal enemy of life is time.
I think it's easier to hold
on to the life you know...
than moving into the unknown.
Hey, that was very wise.
Yeah, maybe she should be
the spiritual leader of Belly Valley.
That's crazy! You can see that
she has a great time in the water.
Is it okay to drive?
We come to pay our
tribute as you asked us to.
I see that it is very little.
Go get me more.
Further?
But Chameleon.
Go!
Otherwise they want to
roll down the stairs again.
Where are we going to get more?
My destiny is
finally approaching.
I will expand my Kingdom of Juniper
City to all cities, towns and villages...
from here to the
Valley of Peace.
And then...
Then everyone will
know the name of...
The Chameleon.
Zhen, I had a vision.
I saw the Chameleon.
She will take over cities and
towns and the Valley of Peace.
A vision?
While you were Sleeping.
They're called dreams, Po.
It wasn't a dream!
A vision.
Or did I eat a bad Dumpling
before going to sleep...
or is it a Dragon Warrior thing?
We have to go
stop the Chameleon.
In that case, you're lucky.
Welcome to Junpero City.
In this place you can be
anything you want to be...
Do everything you want to do and
steal everything you want to steal.
Well, if that's what you like.
We arrived!
Oh! That came out of nowhere.
Yes, I have it ready.
Careful!
Move the cone.
The cone warns you.
- Sorry.
- Watch where you're going.
I have never seen
so much traffic before.
Is there no rush hour
in the Valley of Peace?
Nobody is ever in a hurry there!
Come on!
Get out of there, panda.
My God!
How glad I am to return home.
Landscape.
The sounds.
The smells!
Mongtong Paradise!
Yeah!
Po. Po!
Focus!
This city is the most amazing
place I have ever seen in my life!
I used to feel the same way until
the Chameleon had it in her clutches.
Tonight we will
arrest the Chameleon.
Yes, I will show you where this evil
sorceress lurks while
she rules the city.
Does she lurk in that sinister
tower that overlooks the city?
How did you know?
Isn't this the first time
I've stopped a villain?
Let's keep moving.
- Hello Zhen!
- Hello Zhen!
So much without seeing you?
How have you been Zhen?
Wow, you're quite
the local celebrity.
Yes, good...
A face like mine
is difficult to forget.
That?!
Are you a wanted criminal?
Do you sound surprised?
Did it surprise you?
It doesn't come
as a surprise to me.
Did you never mention that
they were looking for you?
Don't worry. The law has better
things to do than look for me.
Hey Zhen.
We have been looking for you.
Lazy week, right?
I'll take care.
Good morning, officers. His
servant the Dragon Warrior.
The lady and I are on official
Dragon Warrior business.
- Warrior, what?
- Dragon, what?
Dragon warrior. Nobody?
No?
Maybe you know me better...
like Kung Fu Panda.
Wait, wait!
Who does that guy think he is?
Please.
Well, we try it your
way. Now it will be mine.
Wait, what's your way?
I'm sorry.
Come on, come on, come on.
You can't run from the law.
You are a wanted criminal.
Yes, and it seems
I'm not the only one.
Life in the city is fast.
We have to go
before they call...
Reinforcement.
There are bulls
and many of them!
Runs.
Move, move!
I fall down!
Very slow.
Sorry!
They are there!
There's no time for a drum solo.
They caught us!
Here they were.
There is not much left.
You always say that
and it's always far away.
What is this place?
Home Sweet Home.
The best bandits
and criminals...
from all over
Junpero City live here.
Be careful, these guys will steal your
underwear and you wouldn't even notice.
Be careful with that
Fires Artificial children.
Are you friends with
all these people?
They are like my family.
Zhen!
Is it really you?
Han, my old mentor.
I always knew you'd end
up going back to the lair.
And when you did...
I would have prepared a very
appropriate welcome for you.
Family, right?
More like distant cousins.
Alright.
How should we do this?
Quick and painless?
Or slow and painful?
Slow and painful.
Slow and painful.
All right, you rascals.
Slow and painful it will be.
Hurrah!
You really don't
want to do this.
And why not?
Because if you lay a single paw
on me, you'll have to answer to...
The Dragon Warrior.
Dragon, Dragon, Dragon, Dragon.
Who?
It just can't be.
My adventures really
with such locals?
Why don't you introduce them...
to your fists?
Remember, Po, there are other
ways to bring peace than kicking ass.
Come on, seriously?
Now?
- Yes, now.
- Wait.
Shouldn't my inner Shifus
have different opinions?
We completely agree
that we are disappointed...
of you.
High!
He who resorts to violence today, he will
only encounter more violence tomorrow.
Are you saying that if we
don't hurt Zhen a little bit today...
Can we hurt her a lot tomorrow?
That?
No, that's not what I said.
Yeah.
And more violence tomorrow.
It's better than
less violence today.
No no no no.
I think you are misunderstanding
the fundamental point.
- More violence.
- Hurrah.
More violence gives
me butterflies in my belly.
Hey, that panda is
right about a lot of things.
I like it.
- Violence.
- Violence.
No no no no.
Wait!
Come back!
I will think of better wisdom.
Po, you have to
polish those proverbs.
Kung Fu Panda?
No.
Son of Mr. Ping and Mr. Li?
They are both very
common surnames.
Oogway's disciple?
I'm sorry.
Trained by Master Shifu?
Master Shifu.
Yeah.
We all know about the
legendary Master Shifu.
But not from you.
Did someone say
legendary? Shock her!
Look, Han...
I know we had differences, but
I'm in a bind here and I was hoping...
that you could help me.
Thank you.
Don't take it.
We just need a place to
hide while the pressure drops.
Why should I help you?
Because deep down
underneath that scaly exterior...
There is a kind soul who
still considers me family.
Good.
But if you're still here after
dark, I myself will call the bulls.
Rest.
So today we will
stop the Chameleon.
First get your pants back.
Isn't that great!
Hey, come on!
Give it back to me!
It is made by hand.
I think this tavern
doesn't look very friendly.
My tail.
I know everything
is going to be okay.
It's a restaurant.
They are my people.
We speak the same language.
Wait here.
Greetings to all!
Excuse me for interrupting.
I know you're having fun.
But, I was wondering if a panda
passed through these parts recently?
If a panda came.
Do you know him?
Know him? I'm his dad.
You'll have to pay for what
your son did to my tavern.
My son would never do
this, without a good reason.
Could it be that your
broth was tasteless?
Test it!
No no!
The broth smells delicious.
You don't have to add
anything to it, much less to me.
Release that goose.
He turned the panda.
Went back?!
No.
But they're going
to wish I were him.
Because if you think
he left this place in a
bad way, you have no
idea what I'm capable of.
Everything he learned,
he learned it from me.
Except one thing.
The mercy.
I don't know where he learned it
from, because I don't believe in it.
We can fix this in
one of two ways.
The simple, in which
they tell me where he is.
Or the difficult one, in which
they also tell me where he is.
But it will be difficult
to understand them...
Why don't they have teeth!
Mahjong!
I eat the pieces of
Mahjong for breakfast!
Stay where you are! Do not move!
On the other hand.
- Stay here!
- Where is our son?
He took a boat to Junipero City.
Where?
A wise goose once said...
- Time to leave.
- Yes of course.
Okay, let's try again.
Stir the pot, roll the wok,
Serve the dish and ska-blam!
Hey, where's the golden
dragon I had to shoot?
That's not going to
happen with a broom.
I didn't do it bad at all.
Yes, but stir later, It spins
higher and the word is ska-doosh.
"Ska-doosh" doesn't exist.
And "ska-blam" yes?
No!
Ska-blam!
I tell you what, you are not like
the other Masters I have met.
Yes, I know.
There aren't that many pandas.
No... You are one
of the good ones.
Listen!
There are no Moors on the coast!
Thieves, take to the streets!
And you two...
Get out of here!
I already know that I promised to
take you to the Chameleon's door...
but, the rear door is
a little more practical.
I give it to you Jen, you are
a bitch with a word of honor.
A sucked peach pit?
From Master Oogway's
Celestial Wisdom Tree.
It's a Valley of Peace thing.
It is to remind me that each seed
has the promise of a majestic tree.
Maybe it will serve the
same purpose for you.
Are you sure you
want to do this?
As a wise spiritual leader
said, how can anyone
kick ass, if one is not looking for a butt to kick?
You're quite a
character, you know?
Thank you.
Wait, Was it a
compliment or an insult?
Yeah.
Have you seen our son?
I'm sorry.
No.
Tell us you saw our son.
Hey, why are they leaving?
You said yes.
Hey, look.
- Po was here.
- You surprise me Li.
But how do you know?
Pandas have the gift of
seeing what others don't.
Come, There must
be more clues here.
Because...
That was close.
Careful.
- Po!
- Back off.
- They're coming.
- Quick, help me with the cage.
There's no point.
We have to leverage something.
Here, use my Staff.
Okay, get ready, here I come.
Jen, where are
you taking my Staff?
I think you mean, my Staff.
You gave it to Jen, and
now Jen gave it to me.
give to get What
doesn't work like that?
You were right, Jen.
- Yes, it was an easy target.
- Jen!
The first rule of the
streets... Trust nobody.
I showed it to him.
Did you think my
apprentice was your friend?
Apprentice?
So she was the one
who gave you shelter!
It was the best thing that
happened to her in her life.
You would have seen the
little thief when I found her.
Mangy and starving.
She was with those losers
from the Den of Thieves.
She wasn't afraid.
But a lot of potential.
So, I took her in.
I made it what it is today.
And straighten up.
Yes, teacher.
Was all this just so I could
give you the Staff of Wisdom?
Because?
I also had a humble origin.
I dreamed of becoming
something more.
I wanted respect and power, I
wanted to be a Kung Fu Master.
That?
I was rejected from every
training center I went to.
They said she was
too small, insignificant!
And that Kung Fu
was not my destiny.
So, I chose a different path.
The sorcery.
I grew up.
I stood out.
And I got everything I
had ever dreamed of.
Everything except Kung Fu.
Make me look like Tai Lung,
It doesn't mean I fight like him.
You see Po, Kung Fu will
be practiced with the body...
But his secrets are
carried in the spirit.
And since I have
access to Spirit Realm...
Are you going to steal
from Tai Lung Kung Fu?
His and the villainous
Masters who went before me.
And when I do, no one will
dare underestimate me again...
You forgot me!
Don't get tired, Po.
Those bars are enchanted with
ancient and very powerful magic.
It takes about ten Dragon
Warriors, to pass through them.
I won't go through them...
I'll go under!
That was frustrating
for many reasons.
- Po!
- Jen?
My Staff, give it to me now!
Forgive me for lying to you,
I only did what I was told.
Then you apologize, first I
have to stop the Chameleon.
- Po!
- Jen?
No!
Well done, Jen.
You didn't say you
were going to hurt him.
What is the second
rule of the streets?
Someone always gets hurt.
And he makes sure it's not you.
I just... I wish it
had been different.
There is a third
rule of the streets.
Third rule?
Many say it is the
most important.
Nobody cares
about your feelings.
Move on! To loot
the Spirit Realm.
And smile...
Nobody likes grumpy girls.
Seriously Jen, I don't know
where you learned those bad habits.
Very good.
Hello!
Let go!
Son!
Now save me...
Hello son.
Okay, we've got you Po.
We already have you!
So, they followed me?
It was his idea.
It's okay, it's okay, It
was both of our ideas.
We follow you,
because we love you.
No! They followed me
because you don't believe in me.
And because we love you.
Well, they were right.
I screwed up and
it was really ugly.
Trust the wrong person.
I gave the Staff of Wisdom in
the hands of the Chameleon.
Po...
That was a horrible blunder.
If I had listened
to Master Shifu,
if I stayed in the
Valley of Peace...
The Chameleon would not have my
Staff, and this would not be happening.
He was clinging to things
staying the way they were.
We are all afraid of change, Po.
Even to me.
There was a time,
not long ago...
when he just wanted to be the
best noodle chef in the entire Valley.
And then what happened?
I became the best
noodle chef in the Valley!
It's true.
But I also became a father.
And nothing, nothing has
been the same since then.
Change doesn't always
have to be a bad thing.
Because you think I always
change the restaurant menu.
Because if everything
stays the same forever...
sooner or later, It
will lose its flavor.
It's true, Po.
Since I left my village, I
became a kind of warrior.
Strong and brave!
Move!
Towards here.
Take all those cages, fast!
That looks bad.
Really bad.
Move!
Walk!
Don't tell me you were really
making friends with that panda?
That? No, no, it's just...
When we want something, we must use
whatever is within
our reach to obtain it.
And the panda was just that...
"Something to wear"!
So, that's why you took me in?
To use me and help
you get what you wanted?
Jen...
I took you in because you were
clever, ruthless and calculating...
Like me!
And the day you stop being all
that, It would be the day when...
Yeah! You will no
longer be useful to me.
So, for the sake of
both of us, don't change.
Today...
when the blood moon reaches
its zenith, in the night sky...
I will open the portal
to Spirit Realm...
and all your
secrets will be mine!
Does the blood moon
always move so slowly?
She remembered moving faster.
No?
Just me?
Maybe it was for
dramatic effects.
I will open the portal
to Spirit Realm now.
Bring me Tai Lung!
Tai Lung? Big fan.
Who are you and why
do you have that Staff?
An old friend of
yours gave this to me.
The fluffy panda?
Po will be an idiot...
but he would never willingly
give him the Oogway Staff...
to someone like you!
Who said he was "voluntarily"?
Apparently I
misjudged you, lizard.
Let's see, why did
you bring me back?
I brought you to teach me...
your movements Most
legendary Kung Fu.
I don't share my
techniques with anyone.
I wasn't asking you.
Yes, I got it!
Tai Lung's attack
on the nerves...
The power and precision!
- Excellent!
- Yeah.
What did you do to me?
All your Kung Fu is now mine.
And the best of all is
that I'm just getting started.
Bring me General Kai!
Bring me Master Eagle.
Master Bull.
Wait Po, please, be reasonable.
I'm not going to leave,
until I get my Staff back.
No Staff is worth
more than your life.
As long as I remain
the Dragon Warrior,
I won't let anyone get
hurt because of me.
Po, you're alive!
Please, I made a mistake.
Just like me, by trusting you.
Forgive me.
Did your Master also
tell you to tell me that?
She is not my teacher.
I'll leave here, forever.
It's true.
Now I know she was
wrong about everything.
What are you doing?
I stop you.
Out of my way, Jen.
No!
Move on!
Do you want me to move?
Move me.
First you betray me...
and now you want to fight me?
Why are you doing this?
Because I want to prevent
you from being killed.
What does it matter to
you, yes they kill me or not?
Please, Po, Let me
do just one thing right.
You're not the only one who
has made bad decisions lately.
You're going to
move on, aren't you?
I'm afraid so.
And I can't convince
you not to do it?
I'm afraid not, Jen.
You know you can't beat her.
You are probably right.
But I must try.
Get as far away from
this place as you can.
Po!
We wouldn't have let him come.
We are
terrible parents.
At least they didn't lie
to him and betray him.
That's
true.
You are
worse.
I feel like a
terrible friend.
Friend?
Why do I want
friends like that?
We have to give
up, surrender.
We can't let him
come in alone.
And what
can we do?
There are only three
of us, against an army.
I guess we'll have
to get our own army.
Hey! Listen to
me everyone.
Thank
you.
The Dragon
Warrior is in trouble.
- Who?
- You know, Po.
The
panda!
No, no, it's a
different panda.
-I am his father.
-I am also his father.
Okay, that
doesn't matter.
What matters is that my friend is
in trouble and he needs my help.
So, I need
them.
Why should
we help you?
Well because,
because...
Because that's
the right thing to do.
Enough!
Already!
Stop laughing.
Hey, I know you
think it's too late...
so that cheaters, thieves
and thugs like
us can reform.
But a good friend
once told me...
that it is never too late
to do the right thing.
I mean, are you saying that...
If we do a little good today,
can we do more bad tomorrow?
That?! No!
And if we get the
Chameleon off our back...
We can do all the evil we want.
I think, I think, I think they
didn't get the message.
Violence! Violence! Violence!
Are you ready to do the right
thing, for the wrong reasons?
Look, the mistake
that Dragon Warrior
made was underestimating his opponent.
I would never have fallen
into such an obvious trap.
Hey!
And look, the mistake
that Dragon Warrior made...
Shut up, Larry!
I have never seen so
many guards in this place.
I'm not going to
get to Po in time.
You arrive with Po, we'll
take care of the guards.
We will do it?
I mean, sure...
But how?
Just leave it to me.
General Kai?
Lord Shen?
They're all my old nemeses.
Nemeses?
Nemeses?
The Chameleon is bringing out
spirits, of the Kingdom of Spirits...
and he is stealing
our techniques!
And he's also using
your Staff to do it.
I came to
get it back.
I better not
even get excited.
Excuse me,
do I know you?
Do you know
me? I'm Scott.
The fire-breathing
crocodile.
Go
Scott!
Master Shifu and I were
talking about you recently.
Panda...
Oogway was wrong when he
chose you as Dragon Warrior.
But I never imagined
the size of that error...
Until
now.
Tai
Lung...
I'm going to
recover the Staff.
I will return
your Kung Fu...
And I will return
them to Spirit Realm.
You
will see.
I only see... A
broken promise.
Let's
see...
Komodo
dragons, filthy
We can do this in
one of two ways.
The
simple...
in which they
voluntarily surrender.
Or the
difficult...
in which they give up pitifully.
The decision
is yours.
Just kidding!
Just kidding!
Thanks,
Ping.
Run
away!
Cannonball!
Isn't it
very spicy?
No, it has the
perfect flavor.
Ginseng, that's the secret
to my blackberry punch.
That panda
was right.
More violence
tomorrow is better!
Yeah!
It seems to me that you have
something that belongs to me.
Can't you even die well?
Can't even kill badly?
No?
I didn't get the pun.
And speaking of the Staff!
Keep him!
I already got everything
I needed from him.
I think this was destiny...
A final encounter between
formidable adversaries.
Similar in many ways.
I wish they gave me a Dumpling, every time a
villain tells me everything
we have in common.
It's true.
We have both already
reached the top.
It's a shame that only
one can stay at the top.
It's a shame...
For you!
My sorcery powers...
and Kung Fu combined,
They make me unstoppable.
And when I'm done with you, I will expand
my Kingdom, from Ciudad Junpero, to...
All the cities, towns
and villages here...
to the Valley of
Peace and beyond...
Yes, I know!
But how do you know?
I saw it in a vision.
Because I am the Dragon Warrior!
At least for now. But...
I finally understood that it
is time to make changes.
And you should too...
I am the Chameleon! If there's one
thing I know how to do, it's change.
But only on the outside.
The real changes
come from within.
And if we're as
similar as you say,
maybe we can both
let go of what we were...
and become something
better than we are.
What are you saying?
I say...
Even I saw it coming.
We are proud of you.
You tried it our way.
Now, to yours.
- Go kick his ass!
- Go kick his ass!
You don't have to tell me.
Master Elephant's trunk twist?
Master Boar's disastrous teeth?
The angry fangs of Master Wolf?
Master Bull's deadly horns?
That?
Do you recognize the technique?
Is this what my
voice sounds like?
That's not what my
voice sounds like, is it?
You didn't earn
those techniques...
you just stole them!
Right left! An uppercut.
-Which of the two are you going for?
- I'm not sure.
This is all very confusing.
I am stronger than any
opponent you have ever faced...
Because I am all the
opponents you have faced.
Po!
Gotta polish up
those heroic entries.
No, it turned out
very well for you.
I should have left you to rot
in the drain, where you belong!
Better to rot in the drain,
that under your paw!
Two against one?
Well, that doesn't
seem fair to me.
I have to even this fight.
Master Cobra!
Master Eagle!
Scorpion Master!
Master Wolf!
General Kai!
Lord Shen!
That's amazing!
I mean it's horrible,
but amazing!
Po?
Jen!
No!
Po!
I thought we were friends.
Backwards.
I'm going to kick my ass.
Quick Po! Get out of there!
You'll have to do it.
I can't beat the Chameleon.
A wise turtle, she
told me once...
that you don't know what
you can do, until you do it!
The fate of the
world is at stake...
and you give me life
advice from a turtle!
I know the seed, Jen.
Be the seed.
And what do you
think you're doing?
I finish what Po started.
Please!
How many times
do I have to tell you?
Straighten up.
Ungrateful bitch.
After everything I did for you?
And you betray me for the panda!
First rule of the streets:
Never trust anyone!
You can not beat me.
I know all your techniques.
No, not this one.
She stirs, rolls, serves and...
ska-blam!
Yeah!
Second rule: Someone
always gets hurt.
That shot was great.
Po! Could you leave the
cage whenever you wanted?
Faker!
It's not farce, it's method.
Also, how will a
seed become a tree...
If you don't give it the
opportunity to grow.
And hey, you scrambled
later and rolled higher.
But for the last
time, the word is...
ska-doosh!
Maybe Oogway
wasn't wrong about you.
You're finally not
so useless after all.
My God! Thank you so much.
This is my son!
Our son.
I think it's time you
sent us home, panda.
Jen, do something!
Third rule:
Nobody cares
about your feelings.
See you on the other side...
- Dragon warrior!
- No!
We pack you food,
for your time in jail.
Let's hope it's not
your last dinner.
Thanks guys.
I was thinking...
When I serve my sentence
and have my freedom again...
I could open one of those
acupuncture places, which are trendy.
I think you're
qualified for a job...
with a little more room to grow.
The Jade Palace?
She!
Among all the candidates you
could train, as your worthy successor...
Do you choose the bitch?
You know when
you know, you know?
Good! Choose whoever you
want, a thief, a stick, a carrot.
I don't know why I bother.
I'm going to go meditate.
And a lot!
Don't worry, he'll calm down.
Probably.
Maybe.
Hey, are you okay?
Is right.
Who told you I'm ready for this?
If I learned anything
working in my dad's kitchen...
is that the best dishes come from
the most unexpected ingredients.
Hey!
That wasn't bad.
Okay, I see you as a
spiritual leader now.
Yeah! I'm already understanding
this thing about proverbs.
One should never do squats...
with chopsticks in his pockets.
Yeah, Better keep kicking ass.
Money does not buy happiness...
but if you buy a
lot of Dumplings.
Why do you always end
up talking about Dumplings?
When life gives you lemons...
Make pear water, and
confuses everyone!
We already understood.
It is not possible to
cover the sun with a finger.
Although it also depends
on the size of the finger.
Or if you close
your eye, well...
Can we start training now?
Inner peace.
Inner peace.
Inner peace.
Hello, Master Shifu.
Look, there are two of us now.
It's going very well, Shifu.
Breathe with your stomach.
- I see him a little tired.
- Are you tired?
I think it's okay, Yes, you
meditate tired, don't you?
Inner peace.
Inner peace.
Inner peace.
Ready to start your training?
And you?
Yeah!
I brought you some help.
Tenacious D: Jack
Black - Baby One More Time
# Baby, baby # How would I know?
# Something wasn't
right # Baby, baby #
I shouldn't have let
you go Hot, hot, hot!
# Now I can't find
you # Show me...
# How do you want
it to be # Tell me
honey # I need to
know # Because.
..
# Loneliness...
# It's killing
me # And I...
# I must confess...
# That I still believe #
I still believe # That
when I'm not with you...
# I'm losing my mind #
Give me a sign # Call
me baby, one more time
# Baby, baby # You're
the reason I breathe #
Baby, you've got me
blinded # Pretty girl #
There's nothing I
wouldn't do for you #
This wasn't in my plans #Show me...
# How do you want
it to be # Tell me
honey # I need to
know # Because.
..
# Loneliness...
# It's killing
me # And I...
# I must confess...
# That I still believe #
I still believe # That
when I'm not with you...
# I lose my
mind # Give
me a sign #
Call me # Baby
# One more time
# Chick
# Yeah
# Chick
#Hit me baby,
but not very strong
# Hit me one more time
#Hit me baby,
but not very strong
# Hit me one more time
#Baby, baby
# How would I know?
# That something wasn't right
# Pretty girl
# I shouldn't have let you go
# And I must confess...
# That loneliness...
# It's killing me now
# Don't you see that I still believe?
# That you will be with me
# But give me a sign
# Call me
# Chick
# One more time
# Loneliness
# It is killing me
# Me too...
# I must confess
# That I still believe
# I still believe
# That when I'm not with you
# I lose my mind
# Give me a sign
# Call me
# Chick
# One more time
- Hello.
- Hello
- Hello.
- Hello.
That's how it is...
It's me, Tai Lung.
It just can't be.
I have returned to
take what is mine.
That is, everything that is yours.
Let it be known from the highest
mountain to the deepest valley...
that Tai Lung lives...
and that no one
will stand in his way.
Not even the great...
Dragon warrior!
KUNG FU PANDA 4
Ska-doosh.
Where is Po?
He was supposed
to arrive hours ago.
Ping, please.
Do you want to relax?
- I'm already relaxed!
- If you say so.
I assure you that Po is fine.
What if he is sick?
What if he's hurt?
What if he is hungry?
You drown in a glass of noodles.
If I know our son, he is sitting
on a stingray kicking in the water.
Kung Fu.
This is serious.
He's getting worse!
Hey, calm down!
Well big guy, I'm going
to wrap you like a tamale.
Again! Again!
- What fun.
- Let's go again.
And next time, don't go
overboard, Manta Ray.
I'm late!
I'm late!
I'm late!
It's The Dragon Warrior.
I was, I am and
I will always be.
We love you, Dragon Warrior.
I love you too, fans.
I have my scroll.
- And the hat?
- Sign the shirt.
I sign everything they want.
Po.
Master Shifu.
Haber, leave it to me.
Ready. It's already much worse.
We need to talk.
Of course, we have to talk.
But after the ceremony.
Ceremony? What ceremony?
The Staff of Wisdom.
It was given to me by
Master Oogway himself.
It is said that whoever possesses this Staff will
have the power to travel
from one Kingdom to another.
The power to open
the door of Spirit Realm.
And now, the power to open...
The new Dragon
Warrior noodles and tofu.
Where the soup kicks you.
And the noodles make you crazy.
Dragon warrior.
Are the Furious Five coming too?
Unfortunately not. They went on
super barbaric Kung Fu missions.
Tigress confronts the
band of free-range chickens.
Monkey follows the trail
of the Malandrn Macaque.
They named Crane
king of the crocodiles.
- Crane.
- Long story.
Viper leads the peace practices
between the Cobras and the Mongooses.
Or it is called Mongooses.
And Mantis, well, he's just trying to
keep his wife from eating his head.
Just because they're not
here in person doesn't mean...
They are not life-size cutouts.
Now, who wants a portrait?
Well well.
- One by one.
- I, I, no.
You.
My turn, my turn.
Yes, now you.
Her bitter face
came out very well.
We need to talk...
Now!
Hey, can you make
me a wallet size one?
- Po.
- I'm coming!
Do you remember the first time you
climbed this staircase to the Jade Palace?
How to forget it?
I thought I wasn't going
to make it to the top.
Yes, but you did it.
And again destiny calls you to
take the next step of your journey.
The next step?
What are you talking about?
I have already
taken all the steps.
Or not yet?
It's time for you to
choose your successor.
Successor of what?
A successor who will be
the next Dragon Warrior.
Yes, I understand.
How funny.
Because I am the Dragon Warrior.
Wait wait wait. As?
Do you mean I won't be
the Dragon Warrior anymore?
Exactly.
So what am I going to be?
When you have chosen your successor, you
will advance to the highest
level in all of Kung Fu.
Spiritual Leader of
the Valley of Peace.
Oh!
I do not know what that means.
Just like Master
Oogway before you.
You will oversee the Valley,
share wisdom and give hope.
Hey, thank you very
much for the promotion.
But I think I'm going to continue
with this whole Dragon Warrior thing.
This Dragon Warrior thing?
What are you holding?
A cookie?
In the other.
The Staff of Wisdom?
It was given to you
by Master Oogway.
Did you think what it was like to
open a restaurant or pose for portraits?
Wasn't it very specific either?
Oogway wanted to entrust you with that Staff
so that you could follow in his footsteps...
and become something better
than what you already are.
I give it to you.
No, Oogway didn't give it to me.
Being the next Oogway
is not my destiny.
Which I already accepted
and I'm at peace with that.
Oh really. I'm fine.
It does'nt sound good.
You don't sound good.
I'm very well.
It's okay, you're okay.
This is an honor.
Oogway chose you as his successor
and now you must choose yours.
Master Shifu, I finally found
something I'm good at...
and now you want
to take it away?
Nobody is taking
anything from you Po.
What you are will always
be part of what you will be.
Yes, but where
was the ska-doosh?
You know what I mean?
Shifu!
I don't want to be ungrateful...
but I don't know anything about
sharing wisdom and giving hope.
All I know are two things.
Kick ass and ask
questions later.
And if I'm completely honest,
I'm not even that good at asking.
Who was that
fire-breathing crocodile?
I think it was Steve?
You were chosen to bring
peace to the Valley and there
are other ways to bring peace, besides just kicking ass.
Well yes, but none
of them are that fun.
Please!
Being the Dragon
Warrior is all I know.
It's all I am!
Yes. Well, not anymore.
The Valley of Peace needs a spiritual
leader and the Master Oogway chose you.
He starts interviewing candidates
first thing tomorrow morning.
Candidates? What candidates?
But how barbaric!
Ska-doosh!
So original!
Come along.
Master Po will now choose
the next Dragon Warrior.
They are all great candidates.
I'll let my finger decide.
Wait, wait, what's going on?
The Dragon Warrior, it's me!
Even if you don't want to Po,
You must choose a successor.
Like they didn't have the
face of Warriors or Dragons.
You know it, when you know it.
How does one know
when one knows it?
Knows?
When I am conflicted,
I come here to ask the
Universe for answers, just like Oogway before me.
I'm not in conflict, I'm just
not ready to take the next step.
What is that you
have in your hand?
The Staff of Wisdom?
On the other hand.
A sucked peach pit?
Exactly.
Every seed has the
promise of a majestic tree.
And how will it help
me find answers?
Don't ask me.
Ask the Universe.
Be the seed, Po.
Be the seed.
Here we go.
Haber Universe.
Give me some guidance.
Inner peace.
Inner peace.
Inner peace.
Bread with beans.
Bread, yes
sir. With butter.
And some
steamed Dumplings.
Inner
peace.
Inner
peace.
This doesn't
work at all.
Maybe focus on
your breathing.
I'm trying, but it's a little difficult
when you keep talking to me.
Technically, you're talking to
yourself if you think about it.
Can you both shut up?
I'm trying to concentrate.
If I'm Po's inner
voice, who are you?
I am the innermost
inner voice.
How many voices
do I have in there?
- Better not even ask?
- This land is itchy.
But what am
I going to do?
These
wooden trees.
Hello!
Does anyone
have a pear?
No!
Universe?
It's
you?
Attention
mysterious figure.
The Dragon
Warrior is here.
To do
justice.
That?
I know you're
around.
It's only a matter of
time before he finds you.
You can't
hide forever!
The Fenghuang
Dagger.
You have excellent
taste, I admit it to you.
But I don't know
you, give it back to me
If you
insist.
No!
He has a cane to walk.
What are you going
to do, hit me grandpa?
This cane is not
for grandparents.
It is the Staff of Wisdom.
The Dragon Warrior will be angry
when he finds out that you stole his staff.
I am the Dragon Warrior.
Well, here you go: You don't have
the face of either a Warrior or a Dragon.
How dare you desecrate
the hall of heroes.
Who is desecrating what?
The egg of the master ostrich.
Sorry.
Master Tangorin's
indestructible hammer.
Oh!
The Urn of the Whispering Warriors,
that I have already broken twice!
Why do they have
an urn with souls?
It feels a little creepy.
You okay there, big guy?
You seem a little tired.
I've never been more awake!
Squirrel Master's warhammer?
You're going to pay for that.
Hey.
You are a fake.
It's not a farce, it's
called a method.
See you next time, panda!
No!
The next one is now!
Was it told to you?
You caught me.
Great and powerful
Dumpling Warrior.
It's the Dragon Warrior!
Let me go!
I want to know one thing: How did
someone like you
become a Dragon Warrior?
You will be able to solve that
mystery in your two years...
in the Valley of Peace Prison.
Valley of Peace Prison?
It sounds like a daycare.
It's a daycare on weekends,
but it is also a prison.
There is!
Dragon warrior!
- Tai Lung returned.
- Tai Lung returned?
He didn't demand
all of our steel.
-And then he destroyed the quarry!
-He is in the Spirit Realm!
Well he came back!
He said that he won't stop
until the Valley of Peace falls...
and the Dragon Warrior
kneels before him.
The return.
Please! You have
to do something!
It seems I'm not the only one
who has a mystery to solve.
Well, you know what they say.
Every step leaves a mark.
No matter how small it is.
Every step leaves a mark.
No matter how small it is.
Very clever, bitch. It seems
that you know something.
Maybe yes or maybe no.
Yes I know, yes I
know. I know something.
Tell me.
And why should I do
it? And what do I win?
The peace of mind of
knowing you did the right thing?
You're adorable.
Haven't they told you before?
And I'm not telling you this
just because you're stupid.
I don't have time for games!
Tai Lung is loose in
the Valley of Peace!
Maybe or...
maybe she wants you to
believe she was Tai Lung.
That?
- She?
- Look.
The Empress of Disguise, capable
of taking any form, to imitate any form.
The master of deception, the
scaly liar with a luminous look...
I'm talking about...
the Chameleon.
This is a private conversation.
Who is the Chameleon?
Only the most powerful
shapeshifting sorceress.
Then she changed
her form into Tai Lung!
But what does she have against
me and the Valley of Peace?
These are good questions.
You should ask her.
You're right.
How do I find that
one "the Chameleon"?
She is not someone she can meet.
Or at least not
without someone...
informed.
And how do I find
someone informed?
That's me.
Obviously it's... it's me.
I am the informed one.
Forget it. I'll find her alone.
Good luck!
How difficult can it be to
find someone who can look...
like anyone else
and go unnoticed.
Alright.
Take me to the Chameleon and I'll
see if I can get your sentence reduced.
Made.
What do you think you're doing?
There's a shape-shifting
sorceress, let loose...
That's a job for
The Furious Five.
But, they are not here. And someone
has to protect the Valley of Peace.
Look, I know change is hard and I
know you like being The Dragon Warrior.
But your job is to
find a successor.
The Dragon Warrior and I have a
deal. You don't get involved, squirrel.
Master Shifu is not a squirrel.
I am a red panda.
Did you know? I'm glad for you.
Po, this is your decision.
But I think you already know what decision
Master Oogway would
want you to make now.
Thanks for the hosting!
- What are you doing?
- Thanks for the daycare.
- Not bad for a prison.
- Where are you taking her?
You can not go away.
Don't worry, I'll bring her back
before they notice she's gone.
I know you're supposed to
share wisdom and give hope.
See it as one last adventure
of the Dragon Warrior.
I will be back soon. Tell
my parents that I love them.
I can't hear it from
here anymore. Bye bye.
Yeah! How good it
feels to be free again.
What a cute little
scratching hand.
Hey.
And does it really open
the door to the Spirit Realm?
That does not work like that.
They have to give it to
you to get their powers.
I already understood, giving
to obtain. So you give it to me?
No! So who do you think I am?
An easy target.
What is an easy target?
Someone who is
easy to steal from.
Generally because they are
generous and overly trusting. Like you.
How cute.
I heard that the Chameleon is a
monster with the appetite of 10 predators.
And her favorite food is panda.
The Chameleon...
It has magical powers.
If you say his name three times,
It will come for you in the night!
Hurrah!
The Chameleon can
take the form of anyone.
There is yours.
Or yours.
Mr. Li, Mr. Li, that's true?
Can I stop an evil sorceress?
To the Chameleon?
The Dragon Warrior's
work is never done.
Li, I'm thinking that Po
teamed up with a criminal...
to confront an evil sorceress.
It wasn't such a good idea.
Don't worry.
Po has faced demons, demigods
and everything in between.
And he has always triumphed.
Yes you're right.
You're right.
What if you're not right?
Calm down now, Ping.
How bad can an
evil sorceress be?
Who does he think
he is to make us come?
She wants to appear powerful.
We are the heads of the
strongest crime families in Junpero.
And she's just a bug-eyed,
power-hungry dwarf reptile.
They didn't mention that
she is an evil sorceress.
Before we dominated the city.
Now we pay her half of
the money we stole from her.
A criminal could no
longer earn an honest living.
Yes, but what can we do?
Together we can defeat it.
You're crazy?
She is a shapeshifter.
She could be at this very table
and we wouldn't have a clue.
And what's more, you
could be the Chameleon.
Or you are the Chameleon.
Or maybe.
No.
Maybe.
Do not say it.
I am the Chameleon.
That you didn't say it.
Obviously we talked about more.
Sorry, Chameleon.
No, no, don't apologize.
You and your families prospered
by taking advantage of the weak.
So they don't like being
taken advantage of.
Especially when the one being taken advantage
of is just a dwarf
reptile with bulging eyes.
What else did they say?
Hungry for power.
Well...
This dwarf reptile wants more.
You already have the whole city.
What more could you want?
I have something
special in mind.
And I'm close to getting it.
As close as the blood moon.
But the blood moon
is two nights away.
Very little time,
too many expenses.
And that's why I will have to
increase taxes this month to 60%
No!
What did
you say?
I mean, it's
not disrespect.
Don't
worry.
I forgive
you.
The
imprudence...
and talk
behind my back.
And the cynical lack of
respect you feel for me.
Yes, I
forgive.
But I never
forget.
You could say I
have the memory.
Do not
say it.
Of an
elephant.
Do you think I
pressured you too much?
So you, my friend, have
not begun to understand...
as far as I
can push.
We have
to do better.
And I await your
tribute at sunset.
Are we stopping
for lunch soon?
Justice doesn't
stop for lunch.
But once in a while it
takes time to have a snack.
Shall we share
my almond cookie?
Are you just going to give me half your
cookie out of the kindness of your heart?
What's the trick?
The trap, the scam.
The chanchu
what?
You know, the struggle,
the disappointment, the trick
Do you want the
cookie or not?
But I'm looking
at you, right?
Is it far from reaching
La Camaleona?
Only
a little.
Li, what are you doing outside
in the middle of the night?
I, I, didn't want to miss
the rise of the blood moon.
Yes of course!
You're just as worried as I am.
It's okay, it's okay.
I know that we pandas
seem calm, gentle, relaxed.
The truth is that...
I pee out of anguish.
Me too.
Or is it too calm, gentle and relaxed
to face a shape-shifting
sorceress.
What if they capture him?
What if they torture him?
Our baby!
It's okay, it's okay.
Maybe Po finally found
the shape of his shoe.
But he still has something that
the Chameleon doesn't have.
What thing?
Us.
Now let's go look for our son.
- I hope Po is okay.
- Do you know Li?
A wise goose once said: Worrying
doesn't make the
broth boil faster.
Who said that nonsense?
Me of course. I
was the wise goose.
Already.
It is the largest town
I have ever seen.
That's not a town.
That's Junipero City.
That's where I'll find
the Chameleon, right?
A boat away.
And I'm going to
take you to his door.
Are you sure we'll
find a ship captain?
For the right price, these scourges
will take us wherever we want.
Or of course we can always
ask Roberto for a discount.
No stealing.
Happy Rabbit Tavern.
That sounds cozy.
No!
Has anyone lost a rabbit?
Stir quickly!
Welcome to the
Happy Rabbit Tavern.
While I get a boat,
you could get food.
And don't look for problems.
Hey, what are you playing?
Mahjong.
With very high stakes.
I can play?
But don't take advantage of a
beginner, because I'm very beginner.
Hello.
What do I offer you?
A boat trip to Ciudad Junpero.
Ask him.
- Who is he?
- He is the Captain.
Thank you.
I won again.
I guess it's beginner's luck.
Have you never played?
Sorry, are you
accusing me of cheating?
I want to speak to
the manager, please.
The manager is in front of you.
Yes, I'll take you
to Junipero City.
But, I'm not going to
bring anything illegal.
I don't want problems.
Problems flee from me.
Well, it will cost you double.
I'm confused.
Should I have said
that I like problems?
In that case it
will cost you triple.
Can we go back
to double the price?
- You have a deal.
- Perfect.
Should I shake his hand or you?
Can I get you
something else, miss?
Yes, another
round of everything.
Minus the broth.
That was very tasteless.
Keep stirring.
Wow, one of each. It's
what I always ask for.
But how did you pay for this?
Everything was legal,
honest and without cheating.
I'm proud of you.
Wow, look at the time.
Now do you remember
that we have to do that...
there with that man?
Did they really think they
could get me a meal...
without paying?
This must be some
misunderstanding, right?
And apparently I was the
one who misunderstood.
Please allow us to pay
for our food and yours.
I just have cravings for...
- Dumplings?
- Revenge!
So come for her No,
no, no, don't come for her.
Destroy them!
I have you!
You are safe.
Better.
Come here.
Saved.
Don't stop stirring!
I'll take care of that for you.
I think this is yours.
Don't steal.
Yes, I think it's
too late for that.
It is never too late
to do the right thing.
- No.
- Grab them.
Careful!
Ska-doosh.
Good trick.
You have to show me.
You're going to die, panda!
Who puts a tavern on a cliff?
I shouldn't have eaten
so many Dumplings.
No!
Weigh anchor!
Go Go. Fast.
Not to be alarmist, but What if the
Chameleon knows we're coming?
It could be anyone anywhere.
Li, could you please
show some character?
I'm sorry, but bravery has
never been my specialty.
Don't you have to be brave?
You just have to be brave.
Play brave.
I get it.
Li.
- Don't let go.
- Don't let go of me Ping.
Everything was for nothing.
Please no.
I am very young!
How did I play the brave Ping?
He keeps practicing.
Junipero City.
That it feels good
to be back home.
Does your family
live there too?
They
would live.
If I had
a family.
It wasn't easy being a
fox cub in the big city.
And I had to survive
as best I could.
Hey.
Swindling,
deceiving, cajoling
Stop
running!
Stop
running!
Wow, you're an
orphan. Me too.
Well,
it was.
My daddy goose adopted me
and then my daddy panda found me.
Dad geese,
dad pandas.
There is something
for everyone.
Right,
mom?
Yeah!
Then someone from
here picked me up.
He offered me a roof, he
gave me clothes, food...
and then I was
never alone again.
I think we
were both lucky.
I think
so.
Hey tell me
something.
- In that Valley of the Belly.
- Peace.
What did that angry
little squirrel mean?
Red
panda.
When she said you
should find your successor.
Now that I'm going to
be the spiritual leader...
I must find a worthy successor
to become the Dragon Warrior.
If you're at the top, you
want to stay there, right?
No, it's just, what do I know
about being a spiritual leader?
I can't even think of those
proverbs that sound barbaric.
The mortal enemy of life
is... What do I know, stairs?
Well!
We all know that the
mortal enemy of life is time.
I think it's easier to hold
on to the life you know...
than moving into the unknown.
Hey, that was very wise.
Yeah, maybe she should be
the spiritual leader of Belly Valley.
That's crazy! You can see that
she has a great time in the water.
Is it okay to drive?
We come to pay our
tribute as you asked us to.
I see that it is very little.
Go get me more.
Further?
But Chameleon.
Go!
Otherwise they want to
roll down the stairs again.
Where are we going to get more?
My destiny is
finally approaching.
I will expand my Kingdom of Juniper
City to all cities, towns and villages...
from here to the
Valley of Peace.
And then...
Then everyone will
know the name of...
The Chameleon.
Zhen, I had a vision.
I saw the Chameleon.
She will take over cities and
towns and the Valley of Peace.
A vision?
While you were Sleeping.
They're called dreams, Po.
It wasn't a dream!
A vision.
Or did I eat a bad Dumpling
before going to sleep...
or is it a Dragon Warrior thing?
We have to go
stop the Chameleon.
In that case, you're lucky.
Welcome to Junpero City.
In this place you can be
anything you want to be...
Do everything you want to do and
steal everything you want to steal.
Well, if that's what you like.
We arrived!
Oh! That came out of nowhere.
Yes, I have it ready.
Careful!
Move the cone.
The cone warns you.
- Sorry.
- Watch where you're going.
I have never seen
so much traffic before.
Is there no rush hour
in the Valley of Peace?
Nobody is ever in a hurry there!
Come on!
Get out of there, panda.
My God!
How glad I am to return home.
Landscape.
The sounds.
The smells!
Mongtong Paradise!
Yeah!
Po. Po!
Focus!
This city is the most amazing
place I have ever seen in my life!
I used to feel the same way until
the Chameleon had it in her clutches.
Tonight we will
arrest the Chameleon.
Yes, I will show you where this evil
sorceress lurks while
she rules the city.
Does she lurk in that sinister
tower that overlooks the city?
How did you know?
Isn't this the first time
I've stopped a villain?
Let's keep moving.
- Hello Zhen!
- Hello Zhen!
So much without seeing you?
How have you been Zhen?
Wow, you're quite
the local celebrity.
Yes, good...
A face like mine
is difficult to forget.
That?!
Are you a wanted criminal?
Do you sound surprised?
Did it surprise you?
It doesn't come
as a surprise to me.
Did you never mention that
they were looking for you?
Don't worry. The law has better
things to do than look for me.
Hey Zhen.
We have been looking for you.
Lazy week, right?
I'll take care.
Good morning, officers. His
servant the Dragon Warrior.
The lady and I are on official
Dragon Warrior business.
- Warrior, what?
- Dragon, what?
Dragon warrior. Nobody?
No?
Maybe you know me better...
like Kung Fu Panda.
Wait, wait!
Who does that guy think he is?
Please.
Well, we try it your
way. Now it will be mine.
Wait, what's your way?
I'm sorry.
Come on, come on, come on.
You can't run from the law.
You are a wanted criminal.
Yes, and it seems
I'm not the only one.
Life in the city is fast.
We have to go
before they call...
Reinforcement.
There are bulls
and many of them!
Runs.
Move, move!
I fall down!
Very slow.
Sorry!
They are there!
There's no time for a drum solo.
They caught us!
Here they were.
There is not much left.
You always say that
and it's always far away.
What is this place?
Home Sweet Home.
The best bandits
and criminals...
from all over
Junpero City live here.
Be careful, these guys will steal your
underwear and you wouldn't even notice.
Be careful with that
Fires Artificial children.
Are you friends with
all these people?
They are like my family.
Zhen!
Is it really you?
Han, my old mentor.
I always knew you'd end
up going back to the lair.
And when you did...
I would have prepared a very
appropriate welcome for you.
Family, right?
More like distant cousins.
Alright.
How should we do this?
Quick and painless?
Or slow and painful?
Slow and painful.
Slow and painful.
All right, you rascals.
Slow and painful it will be.
Hurrah!
You really don't
want to do this.
And why not?
Because if you lay a single paw
on me, you'll have to answer to...
The Dragon Warrior.
Dragon, Dragon, Dragon, Dragon.
Who?
It just can't be.
My adventures really
with such locals?
Why don't you introduce them...
to your fists?
Remember, Po, there are other
ways to bring peace than kicking ass.
Come on, seriously?
Now?
- Yes, now.
- Wait.
Shouldn't my inner Shifus
have different opinions?
We completely agree
that we are disappointed...
of you.
High!
He who resorts to violence today, he will
only encounter more violence tomorrow.
Are you saying that if we
don't hurt Zhen a little bit today...
Can we hurt her a lot tomorrow?
That?
No, that's not what I said.
Yeah.
And more violence tomorrow.
It's better than
less violence today.
No no no no.
I think you are misunderstanding
the fundamental point.
- More violence.
- Hurrah.
More violence gives
me butterflies in my belly.
Hey, that panda is
right about a lot of things.
I like it.
- Violence.
- Violence.
No no no no.
Wait!
Come back!
I will think of better wisdom.
Po, you have to
polish those proverbs.
Kung Fu Panda?
No.
Son of Mr. Ping and Mr. Li?
They are both very
common surnames.
Oogway's disciple?
I'm sorry.
Trained by Master Shifu?
Master Shifu.
Yeah.
We all know about the
legendary Master Shifu.
But not from you.
Did someone say
legendary? Shock her!
Look, Han...
I know we had differences, but
I'm in a bind here and I was hoping...
that you could help me.
Thank you.
Don't take it.
We just need a place to
hide while the pressure drops.
Why should I help you?
Because deep down
underneath that scaly exterior...
There is a kind soul who
still considers me family.
Good.
But if you're still here after
dark, I myself will call the bulls.
Rest.
So today we will
stop the Chameleon.
First get your pants back.
Isn't that great!
Hey, come on!
Give it back to me!
It is made by hand.
I think this tavern
doesn't look very friendly.
My tail.
I know everything
is going to be okay.
It's a restaurant.
They are my people.
We speak the same language.
Wait here.
Greetings to all!
Excuse me for interrupting.
I know you're having fun.
But, I was wondering if a panda
passed through these parts recently?
If a panda came.
Do you know him?
Know him? I'm his dad.
You'll have to pay for what
your son did to my tavern.
My son would never do
this, without a good reason.
Could it be that your
broth was tasteless?
Test it!
No no!
The broth smells delicious.
You don't have to add
anything to it, much less to me.
Release that goose.
He turned the panda.
Went back?!
No.
But they're going
to wish I were him.
Because if you think
he left this place in a
bad way, you have no
idea what I'm capable of.
Everything he learned,
he learned it from me.
Except one thing.
The mercy.
I don't know where he learned it
from, because I don't believe in it.
We can fix this in
one of two ways.
The simple, in which
they tell me where he is.
Or the difficult one, in which
they also tell me where he is.
But it will be difficult
to understand them...
Why don't they have teeth!
Mahjong!
I eat the pieces of
Mahjong for breakfast!
Stay where you are! Do not move!
On the other hand.
- Stay here!
- Where is our son?
He took a boat to Junipero City.
Where?
A wise goose once said...
- Time to leave.
- Yes of course.
Okay, let's try again.
Stir the pot, roll the wok,
Serve the dish and ska-blam!
Hey, where's the golden
dragon I had to shoot?
That's not going to
happen with a broom.
I didn't do it bad at all.
Yes, but stir later, It spins
higher and the word is ska-doosh.
"Ska-doosh" doesn't exist.
And "ska-blam" yes?
No!
Ska-blam!
I tell you what, you are not like
the other Masters I have met.
Yes, I know.
There aren't that many pandas.
No... You are one
of the good ones.
Listen!
There are no Moors on the coast!
Thieves, take to the streets!
And you two...
Get out of here!
I already know that I promised to
take you to the Chameleon's door...
but, the rear door is
a little more practical.
I give it to you Jen, you are
a bitch with a word of honor.
A sucked peach pit?
From Master Oogway's
Celestial Wisdom Tree.
It's a Valley of Peace thing.
It is to remind me that each seed
has the promise of a majestic tree.
Maybe it will serve the
same purpose for you.
Are you sure you
want to do this?
As a wise spiritual leader
said, how can anyone
kick ass, if one is not looking for a butt to kick?
You're quite a
character, you know?
Thank you.
Wait, Was it a
compliment or an insult?
Yeah.
Have you seen our son?
I'm sorry.
No.
Tell us you saw our son.
Hey, why are they leaving?
You said yes.
Hey, look.
- Po was here.
- You surprise me Li.
But how do you know?
Pandas have the gift of
seeing what others don't.
Come, There must
be more clues here.
Because...
That was close.
Careful.
- Po!
- Back off.
- They're coming.
- Quick, help me with the cage.
There's no point.
We have to leverage something.
Here, use my Staff.
Okay, get ready, here I come.
Jen, where are
you taking my Staff?
I think you mean, my Staff.
You gave it to Jen, and
now Jen gave it to me.
give to get What
doesn't work like that?
You were right, Jen.
- Yes, it was an easy target.
- Jen!
The first rule of the
streets... Trust nobody.
I showed it to him.
Did you think my
apprentice was your friend?
Apprentice?
So she was the one
who gave you shelter!
It was the best thing that
happened to her in her life.
You would have seen the
little thief when I found her.
Mangy and starving.
She was with those losers
from the Den of Thieves.
She wasn't afraid.
But a lot of potential.
So, I took her in.
I made it what it is today.
And straighten up.
Yes, teacher.
Was all this just so I could
give you the Staff of Wisdom?
Because?
I also had a humble origin.
I dreamed of becoming
something more.
I wanted respect and power, I
wanted to be a Kung Fu Master.
That?
I was rejected from every
training center I went to.
They said she was
too small, insignificant!
And that Kung Fu
was not my destiny.
So, I chose a different path.
The sorcery.
I grew up.
I stood out.
And I got everything I
had ever dreamed of.
Everything except Kung Fu.
Make me look like Tai Lung,
It doesn't mean I fight like him.
You see Po, Kung Fu will
be practiced with the body...
But his secrets are
carried in the spirit.
And since I have
access to Spirit Realm...
Are you going to steal
from Tai Lung Kung Fu?
His and the villainous
Masters who went before me.
And when I do, no one will
dare underestimate me again...
You forgot me!
Don't get tired, Po.
Those bars are enchanted with
ancient and very powerful magic.
It takes about ten Dragon
Warriors, to pass through them.
I won't go through them...
I'll go under!
That was frustrating
for many reasons.
- Po!
- Jen?
My Staff, give it to me now!
Forgive me for lying to you,
I only did what I was told.
Then you apologize, first I
have to stop the Chameleon.
- Po!
- Jen?
No!
Well done, Jen.
You didn't say you
were going to hurt him.
What is the second
rule of the streets?
Someone always gets hurt.
And he makes sure it's not you.
I just... I wish it
had been different.
There is a third
rule of the streets.
Third rule?
Many say it is the
most important.
Nobody cares
about your feelings.
Move on! To loot
the Spirit Realm.
And smile...
Nobody likes grumpy girls.
Seriously Jen, I don't know
where you learned those bad habits.
Very good.
Hello!
Let go!
Son!
Now save me...
Hello son.
Okay, we've got you Po.
We already have you!
So, they followed me?
It was his idea.
It's okay, it's okay, It
was both of our ideas.
We follow you,
because we love you.
No! They followed me
because you don't believe in me.
And because we love you.
Well, they were right.
I screwed up and
it was really ugly.
Trust the wrong person.
I gave the Staff of Wisdom in
the hands of the Chameleon.
Po...
That was a horrible blunder.
If I had listened
to Master Shifu,
if I stayed in the
Valley of Peace...
The Chameleon would not have my
Staff, and this would not be happening.
He was clinging to things
staying the way they were.
We are all afraid of change, Po.
Even to me.
There was a time,
not long ago...
when he just wanted to be the
best noodle chef in the entire Valley.
And then what happened?
I became the best
noodle chef in the Valley!
It's true.
But I also became a father.
And nothing, nothing has
been the same since then.
Change doesn't always
have to be a bad thing.
Because you think I always
change the restaurant menu.
Because if everything
stays the same forever...
sooner or later, It
will lose its flavor.
It's true, Po.
Since I left my village, I
became a kind of warrior.
Strong and brave!
Move!
Towards here.
Take all those cages, fast!
That looks bad.
Really bad.
Move!
Walk!
Don't tell me you were really
making friends with that panda?
That? No, no, it's just...
When we want something, we must use
whatever is within
our reach to obtain it.
And the panda was just that...
"Something to wear"!
So, that's why you took me in?
To use me and help
you get what you wanted?
Jen...
I took you in because you were
clever, ruthless and calculating...
Like me!
And the day you stop being all
that, It would be the day when...
Yeah! You will no
longer be useful to me.
So, for the sake of
both of us, don't change.
Today...
when the blood moon reaches
its zenith, in the night sky...
I will open the portal
to Spirit Realm...
and all your
secrets will be mine!
Does the blood moon
always move so slowly?
She remembered moving faster.
No?
Just me?
Maybe it was for
dramatic effects.
I will open the portal
to Spirit Realm now.
Bring me Tai Lung!
Tai Lung? Big fan.
Who are you and why
do you have that Staff?
An old friend of
yours gave this to me.
The fluffy panda?
Po will be an idiot...
but he would never willingly
give him the Oogway Staff...
to someone like you!
Who said he was "voluntarily"?
Apparently I
misjudged you, lizard.
Let's see, why did
you bring me back?
I brought you to teach me...
your movements Most
legendary Kung Fu.
I don't share my
techniques with anyone.
I wasn't asking you.
Yes, I got it!
Tai Lung's attack
on the nerves...
The power and precision!
- Excellent!
- Yeah.
What did you do to me?
All your Kung Fu is now mine.
And the best of all is
that I'm just getting started.
Bring me General Kai!
Bring me Master Eagle.
Master Bull.
Wait Po, please, be reasonable.
I'm not going to leave,
until I get my Staff back.
No Staff is worth
more than your life.
As long as I remain
the Dragon Warrior,
I won't let anyone get
hurt because of me.
Po, you're alive!
Please, I made a mistake.
Just like me, by trusting you.
Forgive me.
Did your Master also
tell you to tell me that?
She is not my teacher.
I'll leave here, forever.
It's true.
Now I know she was
wrong about everything.
What are you doing?
I stop you.
Out of my way, Jen.
No!
Move on!
Do you want me to move?
Move me.
First you betray me...
and now you want to fight me?
Why are you doing this?
Because I want to prevent
you from being killed.
What does it matter to
you, yes they kill me or not?
Please, Po, Let me
do just one thing right.
You're not the only one who
has made bad decisions lately.
You're going to
move on, aren't you?
I'm afraid so.
And I can't convince
you not to do it?
I'm afraid not, Jen.
You know you can't beat her.
You are probably right.
But I must try.
Get as far away from
this place as you can.
Po!
We wouldn't have let him come.
We are
terrible parents.
At least they didn't lie
to him and betray him.
That's
true.
You are
worse.
I feel like a
terrible friend.
Friend?
Why do I want
friends like that?
We have to give
up, surrender.
We can't let him
come in alone.
And what
can we do?
There are only three
of us, against an army.
I guess we'll have
to get our own army.
Hey! Listen to
me everyone.
Thank
you.
The Dragon
Warrior is in trouble.
- Who?
- You know, Po.
The
panda!
No, no, it's a
different panda.
-I am his father.
-I am also his father.
Okay, that
doesn't matter.
What matters is that my friend is
in trouble and he needs my help.
So, I need
them.
Why should
we help you?
Well because,
because...
Because that's
the right thing to do.
Enough!
Already!
Stop laughing.
Hey, I know you
think it's too late...
so that cheaters, thieves
and thugs like
us can reform.
But a good friend
once told me...
that it is never too late
to do the right thing.
I mean, are you saying that...
If we do a little good today,
can we do more bad tomorrow?
That?! No!
And if we get the
Chameleon off our back...
We can do all the evil we want.
I think, I think, I think they
didn't get the message.
Violence! Violence! Violence!
Are you ready to do the right
thing, for the wrong reasons?
Look, the mistake
that Dragon Warrior
made was underestimating his opponent.
I would never have fallen
into such an obvious trap.
Hey!
And look, the mistake
that Dragon Warrior made...
Shut up, Larry!
I have never seen so
many guards in this place.
I'm not going to
get to Po in time.
You arrive with Po, we'll
take care of the guards.
We will do it?
I mean, sure...
But how?
Just leave it to me.
General Kai?
Lord Shen?
They're all my old nemeses.
Nemeses?
Nemeses?
The Chameleon is bringing out
spirits, of the Kingdom of Spirits...
and he is stealing
our techniques!
And he's also using
your Staff to do it.
I came to
get it back.
I better not
even get excited.
Excuse me,
do I know you?
Do you know
me? I'm Scott.
The fire-breathing
crocodile.
Go
Scott!
Master Shifu and I were
talking about you recently.
Panda...
Oogway was wrong when he
chose you as Dragon Warrior.
But I never imagined
the size of that error...
Until
now.
Tai
Lung...
I'm going to
recover the Staff.
I will return
your Kung Fu...
And I will return
them to Spirit Realm.
You
will see.
I only see... A
broken promise.
Let's
see...
Komodo
dragons, filthy
We can do this in
one of two ways.
The
simple...
in which they
voluntarily surrender.
Or the
difficult...
in which they give up pitifully.
The decision
is yours.
Just kidding!
Just kidding!
Thanks,
Ping.
Run
away!
Cannonball!
Isn't it
very spicy?
No, it has the
perfect flavor.
Ginseng, that's the secret
to my blackberry punch.
That panda
was right.
More violence
tomorrow is better!
Yeah!
It seems to me that you have
something that belongs to me.
Can't you even die well?
Can't even kill badly?
No?
I didn't get the pun.
And speaking of the Staff!
Keep him!
I already got everything
I needed from him.
I think this was destiny...
A final encounter between
formidable adversaries.
Similar in many ways.
I wish they gave me a Dumpling, every time a
villain tells me everything
we have in common.
It's true.
We have both already
reached the top.
It's a shame that only
one can stay at the top.
It's a shame...
For you!
My sorcery powers...
and Kung Fu combined,
They make me unstoppable.
And when I'm done with you, I will expand
my Kingdom, from Ciudad Junpero, to...
All the cities, towns
and villages here...
to the Valley of
Peace and beyond...
Yes, I know!
But how do you know?
I saw it in a vision.
Because I am the Dragon Warrior!
At least for now. But...
I finally understood that it
is time to make changes.
And you should too...
I am the Chameleon! If there's one
thing I know how to do, it's change.
But only on the outside.
The real changes
come from within.
And if we're as
similar as you say,
maybe we can both
let go of what we were...
and become something
better than we are.
What are you saying?
I say...
Even I saw it coming.
We are proud of you.
You tried it our way.
Now, to yours.
- Go kick his ass!
- Go kick his ass!
You don't have to tell me.
Master Elephant's trunk twist?
Master Boar's disastrous teeth?
The angry fangs of Master Wolf?
Master Bull's deadly horns?
That?
Do you recognize the technique?
Is this what my
voice sounds like?
That's not what my
voice sounds like, is it?
You didn't earn
those techniques...
you just stole them!
Right left! An uppercut.
-Which of the two are you going for?
- I'm not sure.
This is all very confusing.
I am stronger than any
opponent you have ever faced...
Because I am all the
opponents you have faced.
Po!
Gotta polish up
those heroic entries.
No, it turned out
very well for you.
I should have left you to rot
in the drain, where you belong!
Better to rot in the drain,
that under your paw!
Two against one?
Well, that doesn't
seem fair to me.
I have to even this fight.
Master Cobra!
Master Eagle!
Scorpion Master!
Master Wolf!
General Kai!
Lord Shen!
That's amazing!
I mean it's horrible,
but amazing!
Po?
Jen!
No!
Po!
I thought we were friends.
Backwards.
I'm going to kick my ass.
Quick Po! Get out of there!
You'll have to do it.
I can't beat the Chameleon.
A wise turtle, she
told me once...
that you don't know what
you can do, until you do it!
The fate of the
world is at stake...
and you give me life
advice from a turtle!
I know the seed, Jen.
Be the seed.
And what do you
think you're doing?
I finish what Po started.
Please!
How many times
do I have to tell you?
Straighten up.
Ungrateful bitch.
After everything I did for you?
And you betray me for the panda!
First rule of the streets:
Never trust anyone!
You can not beat me.
I know all your techniques.
No, not this one.
She stirs, rolls, serves and...
ska-blam!
Yeah!
Second rule: Someone
always gets hurt.
That shot was great.
Po! Could you leave the
cage whenever you wanted?
Faker!
It's not farce, it's method.
Also, how will a
seed become a tree...
If you don't give it the
opportunity to grow.
And hey, you scrambled
later and rolled higher.
But for the last
time, the word is...
ska-doosh!
Maybe Oogway
wasn't wrong about you.
You're finally not
so useless after all.
My God! Thank you so much.
This is my son!
Our son.
I think it's time you
sent us home, panda.
Jen, do something!
Third rule:
Nobody cares
about your feelings.
See you on the other side...
- Dragon warrior!
- No!
We pack you food,
for your time in jail.
Let's hope it's not
your last dinner.
Thanks guys.
I was thinking...
When I serve my sentence
and have my freedom again...
I could open one of those
acupuncture places, which are trendy.
I think you're
qualified for a job...
with a little more room to grow.
The Jade Palace?
She!
Among all the candidates you
could train, as your worthy successor...
Do you choose the bitch?
You know when
you know, you know?
Good! Choose whoever you
want, a thief, a stick, a carrot.
I don't know why I bother.
I'm going to go meditate.
And a lot!
Don't worry, he'll calm down.
Probably.
Maybe.
Hey, are you okay?
Is right.
Who told you I'm ready for this?
If I learned anything
working in my dad's kitchen...
is that the best dishes come from
the most unexpected ingredients.
Hey!
That wasn't bad.
Okay, I see you as a
spiritual leader now.
Yeah! I'm already understanding
this thing about proverbs.
One should never do squats...
with chopsticks in his pockets.
Yeah, Better keep kicking ass.
Money does not buy happiness...
but if you buy a
lot of Dumplings.
Why do you always end
up talking about Dumplings?
When life gives you lemons...
Make pear water, and
confuses everyone!
We already understood.
It is not possible to
cover the sun with a finger.
Although it also depends
on the size of the finger.
Or if you close
your eye, well...
Can we start training now?
Inner peace.
Inner peace.
Inner peace.
Hello, Master Shifu.
Look, there are two of us now.
It's going very well, Shifu.
Breathe with your stomach.
- I see him a little tired.
- Are you tired?
I think it's okay, Yes, you
meditate tired, don't you?
Inner peace.
Inner peace.
Inner peace.
Ready to start your training?
And you?
Yeah!
I brought you some help.
Tenacious D: Jack
Black - Baby One More Time
# Baby, baby # How would I know?
# Something wasn't
right # Baby, baby #
I shouldn't have let
you go Hot, hot, hot!
# Now I can't find
you # Show me...
# How do you want
it to be # Tell me
honey # I need to
know # Because.
..
# Loneliness...
# It's killing
me # And I...
# I must confess...
# That I still believe #
I still believe # That
when I'm not with you...
# I'm losing my mind #
Give me a sign # Call
me baby, one more time
# Baby, baby # You're
the reason I breathe #
Baby, you've got me
blinded # Pretty girl #
There's nothing I
wouldn't do for you #
This wasn't in my plans #Show me...
# How do you want
it to be # Tell me
honey # I need to
know # Because.
..
# Loneliness...
# It's killing
me # And I...
# I must confess...
# That I still believe #
I still believe # That
when I'm not with you...
# I lose my
mind # Give
me a sign #
Call me # Baby
# One more time
# Chick
# Yeah
# Chick
#Hit me baby,
but not very strong
# Hit me one more time
#Hit me baby,
but not very strong
# Hit me one more time
#Baby, baby
# How would I know?
# That something wasn't right
# Pretty girl
# I shouldn't have let you go
# And I must confess...
# That loneliness...
# It's killing me now
# Don't you see that I still believe?
# That you will be with me
# But give me a sign
# Call me
# Chick
# One more time
# Loneliness
# It is killing me
# Me too...
# I must confess
# That I still believe
# I still believe
# That when I'm not with you
# I lose my mind
# Give me a sign
# Call me
# Chick
# One more time