Laughing Gravy (1931) Movie Script

STAN AND HARDY
IN
"LAUGHING GRAVY"
Mr. Laurel and Mr. Hardy
stuck together through thick and thin...
One pocketbook between them...
Always empty...
Don't keep doing that,
you sound like a seal.
Get a drink of water.
Stop that noise!
If the landlord finds out
we've got a dog he'll throw us out.
Now: shh!
Where's that dog?
- What dog?
- You know what dog!
I heard it barking!
My friend, Mr Laurel,
has the hiccoughs.
- What you going to do with him?
- You know my rules about dogs!
I'm gonna throw him out!
On a night like this?!
Listen, if I wasn't so kind-hearted
I'd throw you out too!
Now get to bed!
Poor little Laughing Gravy.
Go on! Get!
Go on!
- Where are you going?
- I'm going to get my dog.
You've gotten us into enough trouble.
I'll do it.
- I'm locked out.
- I'll come down and let you in.
No, no, no! The landlord'll hear you.
Tie two sheets together and pull me up.
OK.
Hey!
Hey!
Get away from here you little mutt!
Go on!
What happened?
Wait there.
You!
Open this door!
- Hide the dog.
- Open this door!
Not there! This way!
- Open this door!
- Up the chimney!
- No, not you!
- Open this door!
- Are you gonna open this door?!
- Open the door!
That settles it.
Out you go the first thing in the morning.
Bag and baggage. You get me?
You climb up and get him
and hand him down.
And don't let him bark.
Shh!
Pass him to me through the window.
Shh!
Hey! Pull me up!
- What's the matter?
- I'm stuck.
Do something to help me.
Now look at us. We'll have to take
a bath before we go to bed.
What about Laughing Gravy?
We'll wash him first.
Come in!
Shh!
Now you've done it!
If you're not out of here in 15 minutes
I'll send for the cops!
So help me Bob!
Come on!
Get out of here,
and make it snappy.
Wait a minute.
This house is
under quarantine.
No one can leave here
for 2 months.
This is more than
I can stand.