Leatherheads (2008) Movie Script
Hey, Carter, one more
year and you graduate.
- What's waiting for you out there?
- Don't know, Nate.
Get a job, make a couple bucks,
maybe even buy your paper.
- Will you miss football?
- Heck, yeah, I'll miss it,
- but what are you gonna do?
- Beats me.
- Nothing much you can do.
- You could always go pro.
You know, Stump, there are
several time-tested methods
for diverting the defence
from the ball carrier.
Throwing your body in front of
them with a certain amount of force.
- What, you mean blocking?
- Sounds kind of rough.
- You know, that could hurt, Dodge.
- Yes, it could.
Frank? You got to get me a blocker.
I've been thinking the
same thinking, Dodge,
and I'm looking at this high
school kid over at Penrose.
- High school?
- Yeah, but he's mature for his age.
Like Bug over there?
No, forget the water bucket,
Bug. Go and get that ball!
It's the only ball we got.
Get rid of it.
- We're down to the third?
- Yeah.
Let's give them the Rin Tin Tin.
Okay, Coach, we need another ball.
Well, ask them other fellas, why don't
you? That's the only ball we have.
Well, then, you better find one, and
fast, or you're gonna have to forfeit.
Forfeit?
- We're creaming these mutts.
- The home team provides the game ball.
You don't have another ball, you
forfeit the game. That's the rules.
Where's that written?
- It ain't written. It's just the rules.
- Well, I never heard of it.
- Maybe you're going deaf, old man.
Dear, there must be better ways
to promote the starch business.
Tough loss there, Dodge.
Hate to end a home stand
like that on a technicality.
- You ever heard of that rule?
- Me? No. I never heard of any rules.
My point exactly. Goddamn
rules are ruining the game.
Goddamn rules.
Bug, when you're done with the water,
grab my shaving kit from my suitcase.
Grab your own damn shaving kit!
- For Christ's sake, Frank,
how much can a football cost?
You think footballs are
grown out of thin air?
So, you get a few simoleons
from the Starch King.
Hey, Dodge, do I feel hot to you?
- No more than the next man.
- Fever runs in my family, you know.
Everything runs in your
family, Ralph, except your feet.
Look what you made me...
I have to start again.
It's no big joke. You'll make
us miss the train to Milwaukee.
- Milwaukee? What about Akron?
- Akron team folded day before yesterday.
- We gonna play Milwaukee instead.
- I can't go to Milwaukee.
- I got a wrestling match tonight.
- Get out of it.
- It pays $100.
- We'll see you when you get back.
- That's okay. I got this kid coming.
- The high school kid from Penrose?
Yeah. He can only practise after
class, but wait till you see him.
- When's he coming?
- He's gonna meet us
at the Waterford station
when the train stops.
- Hey, I got an extra fin coming my way.
- You lost that last game.
I did not. Dodge, didn't I have this
tooth today when we started the game?
Curly, I learnt long ago never
to stare directly into your face.
Show me the lost tooth,
I'll give you the 5.
If I had it, it wouldn't be lost.
- Ready, Suds?
- Yeah, shoot.
The Duluth Bulldogs lost
to the Toledo Bullets today
in a dirty game of
professional league football,
where a new and dangerous element
has been creeping in, rules.
- Goddamn rules.
- The lone moment of glory came...
Say, Joe.
- Nice hat, Lexie.
Thanks, I just bought it.
Listen, can you get me in a room with
Hank Kelly at the comptroller's desk?
- He won't talk to reporters in fancy hats.
- Hey, Lexie. You going hunting?
It's a very expensive hat,
your whole year's salary.
Harvey wants to see you in his office.
I'd take that mack off
before you go in there.
- You would, would you?
- He might think there's an air raid.
Good, boys, complete sentences.
Next week, let's try paragraphs.
- Say, Pete, see about Hank Kelly, will you?
- He doesn't talk to reporters.
- Say, Harvey.
- Nice piata.
- Don't you start.
- Pull up a chair.
Best seat in the house.
Who are you, Sarge?
Mack Steiner. Lieutenant.
Lexie, I got one for you.
You ever hear of Carter
Rutherford, "the Bullet"?
Football boy? War hero football boy?
Good-looking war hero football boy.
Took time out of
college to fight the war.
Got a whole platoon of
Jerries to surrender.
Just dropped their guns and gave
up from the sound of his voice.
You ought to hire him. Get
rid of this pack of geniuses.
- We're gonna do a story on him.
- What's your angle?
- It ain't true.
- It's all a crock.
The kid's doing radio
shows and advertisements.
He's hired a promoter named CC Frazier
to put himself on the
cover of every magazine.
I like those razors.
- Sure. Who doesn't?
So what's the story, Mack?
I served with him. I was there
in the Argonne. He ain't no hero.
You're gonna meet with Carter and
CC. He's gonna be in town next month.
And you're gonna do a story
on the virtues of the Bullet.
The many virtues!
And then we're gonna break the
myth of the War Hero Bullet.
Listen, you got fellas
who'd be perfect for this.
Three Knickerbockers
out there, for instance,
who'd trade their high school
diplomas for a crack at it.
- It's not my kind of story.
- Lexie,
CC Frazier wants the Chicago
Tribune to do a story on his protg.
We're gonna oblige him,
and you're gonna do it.
Can I talk to you alone for a minute?
Captain, would you excuse us?
It's Lieutenant. I'll wait in the hall.
Thanks, Lieutenant.
Why me?
Because it's a big story
and you're the best.
Thought you'd say it's 'cause I
have the best legs in the office.
No, Joe does.
Okay, Harvey, I'll make you a deal.
If I throw some facts together
about this Bombshell...
- Bullet.
- Bullet.
- And we chop down his apple tree...
- You get the assistant editor's desk.
Okay, Chief.
You get Mack's story, and
I'll get you your Bullet.
"The lone moment of glory
came in the 4th quarter,
"when Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly
lateraled to Bakes Davis,
"who ran through a trio
of open-field tackles
"and into the Duluth end zone.
"And whereas the hotly disputed
contest will go down in the books
"as a Toledo victory, the hearts
and minds of all who witnessed
"the classic gridiron confrontation
were clearly won by the Duluth Bulldogs."
- Awfully good, Suds.
- Sure is a great thing to read, Suds.
When the muse strikes,
who am I to resist?
It's almost like you were
playing the game yourself.
What I try to achieve in my
prose is a sense of flight.
Now that's a crowd, ain't it, Dodge?
Sure is. We didn't have crowds
like that when I was in school.
You went to college?
- Colleges.
Waterford! Waterford next!
Waterford next!
Waterford!
Is that Big Gus Schiller?
- How you doing, boy?
- Hey, how you doing?
Here, get in this car.
Boys, I want you to be
meeting our newest player.
This is Big Gus Schiller
from Penrose High School.
Hi. How you doing? How's it going?
- So you're in high school, are you?
- Yeah.
Got held back, did you?
No.
Hey, kid, what position
did you play in high school?
Kicker.
- Kicker?
- What the hell?
Coach thought it'd be
the best position for me.
- Who's your coach?
- Math teacher.
Huddle up.
Hooked it.
God! Right in the...
Gus, look. You stand over here, next to
him, and you hit anybody that comes near him.
Anybody that comes near him!
Oh, I like him.
Dodge, I need to have a speech with you.
What do you mean folded?
Milwaukee can't fold.
They're broke, is what. Like
Akron. No money, no team.
We're broke, too.
- We're broke now? Our season just started!
- Look, we're broke, I'm telling you.
If you got no money to pay salaries,
no money to buy train tickets,
no money to rent a
field, then you're broke.
It's over, Dodge. It's time
to pack it up and go home.
The Starch King is gonna sell us
What's gonna happen to these guys?
I don't know.
And I thought the Milwaukee
game would turn it around,
what with Big Gus
coming on board for us.
Milwaukee got Joe Washburn
playing good, but...
Now there's no Milwaukee game.
It's finished.
Half these guys will probably
end up back in the mines.
This isn't exactly the cream
of America's work force.
They don't have a lot of options.
Shit!
I'll read you what he had to say.
"I regret to inform you
that Perennial Starch
"is hereby terminating our
sponsorship of the Duluth Bulldogs."
So that's it, fellas.
It's the end of the line for us.
This will be your last paycheque.
From here on out, you're on your own.
But I want to say what a privilege
it's been to coach you boys.
What you've done on the
field has been amazing.
Big Gus, I want to say to
you, son, thank you for coming.
- Name?
- Connelly.
Dodge Connelly.
- Age?
- 38.
How do you mean?
Are you a welder or a machinist
or a pipe fitter? You know, skills.
I got you.
Did you serve in the war?
- Yes.
- Well, you must have learnt a trade there.
Not one you'd like.
Mr Connelly, if you
have no trade skills,
how have you made a living
in the last 20 years?
- A cup of coffee. How much is coffee?
- 10 cents.
Here's 15. You keep it.
Now I can buy that
house I always wanted.
And while only halfway
through the Princeton season,
Carter "the Bullet" Rutherford has
piled on a whopping 14 touchdowns
and 720 yards.
We spoke to the Medal of
Honor winner after the game.
- Carter, how you feeling?
- Feel pretty good, Mac.
Their defence just kept coming at you,
but I figured I might get around them
if I just put my mind to it.
Guess I've learnt something
from dodging those Jerries.
And that's the kind of bravery
on display every Saturday, folks.
The kind of fearlessness that brings
in those fans by the thousands.
Some 40,000 people on
hand just last Saturday.
Now here's a little ditty
I'm sure you'll all know.
I'm trying to reach CC
Frazier. Do you know how...
Well, why can't you tell me?
Listen, my name's Connelly.
It's about football.
I've never heard of you, either, Miss.
No, what I... Hello?
Sheez!
- 'Cause I said I liked your dress?
- Stop saying that!
- It's true.
- It's boring.
- It's all I wanted to say.
- I'm starting to think it's all you can say.
- What's your name?
- Leonard.
Leonard, you better run along
before my fianc gets here.
He's far less tolerant of
your existence than I am.
There's no reason to be angry. I
was simply paying you a compliment.
Stop it. You're just acting like a big
baby 'cause you miss your mother's bosoms.
- My mother's what?
- Her bosoms, you goof!
You're substituting my
bosoms for your mother's.
- What? No, I'm not.
- Why not? What's wrong with my bosoms?
Honestly, Miss Littleton, we're in
public. The rules of etiquette apply.
Leonard, it's 1925. There are no rules.
Except that boys like you
are tedious until they're 40,
at which point they
become unbearably tedious.
- I didn't come over here to be insulted.
- No? Where do you usually go?
And don't think just 'cause
you haven't said anything
that I don't know what you're up to.
I'm talking to you, behind the magazine.
Don't you know I could have
you arrested for eavesdropping?
- Excuse me?
- Or are you really an avid reader
- of Ladies' Home Journal?
- I never miss an issue.
I see.
- Waiting for someone?
- I'm sorry, were you speaking to me?
No, just practising my American
accent. Of course I was speaking to you.
As a matter of fact, I
was waiting for someone.
- Who?
- A business associate.
A business associate.
So cryptic. So manly.
Clearly beyond the
comprehension of a feeble female.
If you say so.
What I want to know is why you
chose to come in here from the lobby,
where you obviously had business,
to sit next to me and
listen to my conversation?
Tell me. Or are you afraid to say?
I'm not afraid to say it.
I'm in love with Leonard.
Go ahead and laugh, everyone does.
We had something beautiful
until you came along.
You think you can just toss
him away like a sack of flour.
- That's funny.
- Hey, haven't you done enough?
No, really, who are you?
- What's your name?
- I'm Dodge.
- Dodge Connelly of Duluth, Minnesota.
- Lexie Littleton. Champaign, Illinois.
Hey, Lexie, what are
you doing for dinner?
You're a lot of fun, Mr Connelly,
and I'm sorry I'm not gonna
get to know you better,
but you should leave before my
fianc gets here. He's kind of big.
- I can handle myself.
- No, really, Mr Connelly.
Mr Connelly is buried next
to my mother. I'm Dodge.
- Dodge, it'd be better if you go.
- Better for whom?
Don't get familiar, Mr Connelly.
Just because we had a laugh
doesn't mean you know me.
- My apologies.
- Apology accepted.
But I do know you.
- You think so?
- Oh, yeah.
- Really?
- Yeah.
You're the kind of cocktail
that comes on like sugar,
but gives you a kick in the head.
The only thing you hate
worse than a guy making a play
is when a guy doesn't make a play.
Were you making a
play? I hadn't realised.
It might work on my Aunt Lurleen.
She's a little near-sighted.
There's an article on peach-canning
in here that I'm dying to get back to.
Well, I know you, too, Dodge Connelly.
You think you're the slickest
operator in Duluth, and maybe you are,
but being the slickest operator in Duluth is
kind of like being the world's tallest midget,
- if you ask me.
- It's too bad we know each other so well.
- We might have gotten along.
- Well, I'll live.
Alone.
Lexie?
Mr Frazier, Lexie Littleton.
I do apologise for keeping you waiting.
- So, where is this cute boyfriend of mine?
- Well, I thought he was behind me.
There he is now.
He finds it very difficult
moving around in public.
Carter.
Say, CC!
He loves his fans.
Carter, this is Miss Littleton of the
Tribune. She's doing a piece on you.
Well, that'll be fine.
- A pleasure, Mr Rutherford.
- Carter, Miss Littleton.
Lexie, Carter.
- Say, CC...
- There you are.
Could you bring the car
around? We're ready to leave.
- I don't think this gentleman works here.
- No?
He certainly looks like
the retrieving type.
- Do you work here, Dodge?
- No, CC, I came to talk to you.
Yes, well, I'm afraid we're going to dinner.
Come, let's find a real valet, shall we?
I have $20,000 that says
you might want to talk.
So if I understand you
correctly, Mr Connelly,
it's your intention to
legitimise professional football?
- That's right.
- Well, let me say straight off,
there's no such beast
as professional football.
There's only miners and farmers and
shell-shocked veterans of the Great War,
smashing each other's skulls together
in a million turnip fields
from Duluth to East Jesus.
Now I ask you, how do you
intend to legitimise that?
By keeping it alive,
by investing in a team.
Well, you see, there's the catch.
I'm not interested in investing.
I'm more of a 20-percenter. New
talent, new ideas interest me.
Professional football does
not attract new talent,
and investing in a professional
football team is not a new idea.
Dodge,
we had some laughs a few years ago.
- You had some laughs.
- Yes.
Yes, I guess I did.
- So...
- Okay.
How about this for a new idea?
Carter Rutherford leaves Princeton
to play for the Duluth Bulldogs.
- What?
- Hear me out.
Carter, you're a pretty
remarkable guy, aren't you?
- I just play football.
- You don't have to be modest with me.
I know your story.
How you put your education on hold to
serve your country, to fight in the war.
I was just doing what
I thought was right.
The President gave you
a medal for bravery.
I was just in the right
place at the right time.
That's not what the papers said. They
called you the hero of the Argonne.
Then, when you went back to school, you
turned out to be a football hero, too.
- Mr Connelly, I'm just a guy...
- Carter.
Do kids chase you down
the hallway at school?
Sometimes.
Follow you around? Ask
you for an autograph?
It happens, yeah, but you can't
take that stuff too seriously.
You feel like sometimes everybody
wants something from you?
And how are you compensated for living your
life under that kind of public scrutiny?
By paying tuition to Princeton.
Let me ask you a question.
Do you like playing football?
I love playing football.
Good. You got one more year and
that's it. That's all she wrote.
What are you gonna do then?
Actually, I've already been
accepted to Yale Law School.
I have a position waiting for
me at Hager, Danes and Upton
when I get my law degree.
It turns out, I'm not too bad a
student, when I put my mind to it.
You... That's good. It's good.
And all of that will be waiting
for you, no question about it.
But the world's full of good lawyers.
In football, there's only
one Carter Rutherford.
You don't need any more teaching
to be what you are out on the field.
You ought to be playing football, and
you ought to be rewarded for your talent.
Makes sense. Sort of.
So did bloodletting at the time.
You're very passionate, Mr Connelly.
What exactly do you have in mind?
Carter Rutherford takes a temporary
leave from Princeton to play for Duluth,
and in exchange he is
guaranteed $5,000 a game.
Let's you and I have
another drink, Mr Connelly.
You're the boss.
Why don't you two run along,
conduct your interview,
whilst Mr Connelly and
I thrash out your future?
Come on, Carter.
Carter Rutherford wouldn't sit
on a bench for that kind of money.
Did I say 5? I meant 10.
I assume you'll be paying
this out of the gate receipts?
- That's right.
- Of course, I'll want it in the form
of a guarantee. Plus I get
a percentage of the overages.
Of course. In the neighbourhood of 5%.
I was thinking a little more uptown.
- 10?
- 25.
I'll understand if you
decline. Most teams would.
Most, but not all.
Sudsy? Listen up.
Carter Rutherford's gonna be playing
for the Duluth Bulldogs starting Sunday.
We're... What? No, just listen. We're
taking a Pullman to Duluth tonight.
We're gonna get there in the
morning. Round up everybody you can.
Get the word around. I want a nice
welcoming committee when we pull in.
What? Just trust me. Thanks, pal.
Harvey, change of plans. I'm taking a
train with these knuckleheads to Duluth.
What? No, I haven't been
drinking! It's a long story.
Just give me a few days. Hey,
how'd it go with Mack Steiner?
So don't use his name.
Believe me, Harvey, by the end of the
week, this kid will cook his own goose.
I got to go.
Hey, what are you doing?
Sorry.
You know, truth be told, I
was a better baseball player.
But college baseball isn't too popular.
What about the war? Where'd
all that courage come from?
I don't know about courage.
A platoon of German
soldiers surrendered to you.
Quite a few have made
a lot out of much less.
Let's talk about something else.
Like, how did Miss Lexie
Littleton get so curious
- she worked her way up a newspaper room?
- Not really the homemaker type.
Depends on the home, I guess.
This is me.
- An eventful day, Mr Bullet.
- Good night, Lexie.
Bright and early, Bullet.
You got a big day ahead.
Hey, Lexie,
you think I did the right
thing about this Duluth deal?
I think you did the right
thing about the Duluth deal.
Well, I'm glad.
I'm happy you're glad.
Good night.
I'm glad you're glad.
You've got a lot of moxie!
I didn't know it was your
berth. I would have armed myself.
I'm calling the porter.
- I'm not decent.
- Well, there's an understatement!
Neither are you.
- You looked?
- I glanced.
- Need help with that hook?
- No.
- Good evening.
- Yes, it is.
You know, this may seem a little awkward
coming from the man who only
promotes the man of your dreams,
but I've had a little thought.
- Perhaps it can wait till tomorrow?
- Probably, but that's not my style.
You see, Miss Littleton,
Carter is very important to me.
I want to make sure you treat
him fairly in your newspaper.
- I resent the implication that I wouldn't.
- Lexie,
Carter is good for the
country. He's a war hero.
Good for the Tribune, they
sell newspapers. Good for me.
- Good for you.
- Lexie...
I'm having a conversation
with a rather beautiful woman,
and she and I were wondering if
you'd care to join us for a nightcap?
- Good night, CC.
- Good night, Lexie.
- What?
- I think I'll sleep up here tonight.
You most certainly will not!
Really?
"Believe me, Harvey, by the end of the
week, this kid will cook his own goose."
- You were spying on me!
- I was observing.
- So, you want to play dirty?
- Maybe later. I'm a little tired right now.
So here we are.
- Not sure what the next move is.
- It happens.
- It's the first time for me.
- They all say that.
- I'm sure you snore.
- Attagirl!
Listen, I'm sorry if what
I said today upset you.
Don't be.
- Which part?
- The "kick in the head" part.
It's forgotten.
- I'm sorry if what I said today upset you.
- Don't be.
- Which part?
- The "tallest midget" part.
What about the "I know you" part?
- I still mean that.
- Then I'm still upset.
You're the tops!
- Hey, Carter!
Carter! Carter!
It's a three-ring circus with
Carter as the dancing bear.
Yeah. Wonder what that makes us.
Dodge, look, look!
Welcome to show business!
Hi!
When's the last Princeton game, Carter?
I guess I already played it.
So, you going to shake up the
team? Anybody you want fired?
No, no, no, of course not. I'm not the coach.
Besides, they're a great bunch of players.
Hey, where the hell is everybody?
CC moved practise over to
Ennis Field, at the university.
What?
Why?
Is it illustrated?
- You're late.
- Says who?
It's 8:30. You're late.
- How's your story coming?
- Swell, thanks.
Cooked his goose yet?
You get crowds like
this when you practised?
- By the thousands.
- Yeah, I'll bet.
Dodge!
You saw the crowd? For a practise!
I tell you, our shit has really
come in! And look at this!
- That must make you happy, huh?
- It must.
- Hey, Dodge, you see the new uniforms?
- Can you believe it?
Yeah.
Hey, Dodgie, look at this thing!
- Brand spanking new!
- Nice.
- Say, Dodge.
- Hey, Dodge.
Hey, fellas.
Say, Dodge, you missed callisthenics.
- Thank God!
- Couple of plays we ran at Princeton.
- A couple?
- Now, I was thinking,
we should switch to the
Single Back Formation
rather than sticking with
the Wing. What do you think?
Well, the Single Back's good, but,
see, the way we ran the team...
- Which one is me?
- That's you, right there, behind the guard.
I guess I should get a couple
of diagrams of the plays we run.
Sure. Yeah. These are a lot like your
plays, only a little more effective.
- Well, a lot of our plays are pretty strong.
- Some yes, some no.
But all that matters is that we
win. We want to win, don't we, boys?
Yeah!
- You said it, Carter!
Hey, they're here! Come on, fellas!
- You're a 10.5, right, Dodge?
- 11.
Well, today's the big day, folks.
Princeton's Carter Rutherford is
playing his first professional game,
and it's right here at Ennis
Field with Duluth's own Bulldogs.
People have been coming
in to town all week
from locations as far as Akron,
Ohio and Lexington, Kentucky
just to get a glimpse
of the 6'3" phenom.
Tickets are 75 cents adults and
And if you're a Huskers fan, it's $10.
Just kidding, gang. We
love those Cleveland fans.
See you at the game.
Come on, folks! Root
for Carter! Go, Bulldogs!
They're calling for rain today, boys.
- Hey! What's a girl doing in the press box?
- Rutherford says she knows her stuff.
Yeah? I'm thinking
maybe he knows her stuff.
- Who you write for, honey?
- Tribune, fatso.
- Since when do they cover pro football?
- Since I decided to write about it.
- You planning on taking notes?
- No. Got a mind like an elephant.
It's like the Library of Congress up there.
Nothing gets lost. Nothing gets stolen.
- Ain't that right, Bob?
- Bill!
Here we go.
That Carter is really something, huh?
Great catch, Dodge.
- Nice, Dodge.
Bulldogs!
See you, boys.
"In his eagerly awaited debut as
a professional football player,
"Carter 'the Bullet' Rutherford
ran for an astonishing 162 yards.
"Given his reported salary,
that's nearly $100 a yard.
"But the fleet-footed
newcomer earned every penny.
"Unstoppable, unbeatable
and uncatchable,
"the Bullet has
arrived, and pro football
"will never be the same."
Well, he had a little help out there, Dodge.
You sure you want me to write it like that?
- We didn't fold, did we?
- No, we didn't fold, Dodge.
- He's a hell of a player.
- Yeah.
- And what do you get out of all this?
- 10% of your gross income.
It's very little, when you consider
how much I can increase your salary.
Well, just ask Carter. MGM
wants to sign him to a contract.
You think that I could be in the movies?
Sure, Zoom. Just buy a ticket.
Now, I want you to peruse
this diet and exercise plan,
which Carter has evolved
for aspiring athletes.
The Rutherford Diet, patent pending,
is based on scientific research.
So, tell me, where could
I find a Lexie Littleton?
- Chicago, I guess. There are a lot of us.
- Well, then I'm going to Chicago.
How old are you?
- A gentleman doesn't ask...
- I'm not a gentleman.
I'm a football player. Are you 30?
I'm just shy of that mark,
thank you. How old are you? 24?
Just past that mark, thank you.
- That's a lie.
- Yes, it is.
- I'm 31.
- Yup.
Do you have a question?
Pro football's got a completely
different style, Carter.
They play two, three games a week.
How do you plan on adjusting to that?
Well, maybe they'll
kind of adjust to me.
There goes the gun.
Is it possible, folks?
With this young man, well,
yes, it is! Touchdown!
You ready, Mickey? Okay, flash.
"With another eye-opening
display of canny passing
"and superb broken-field running,
Carter 'the Bullet' Rutherford
"led the Bulldogs to victory
"over an increasingly
forlorn Pottsville team.
"The choice that awaits these teams
is to imitate the college techniques
"that Rutherford has
transplanted to the pro game
"or to fall hopelessly
behind in the standings.
"What is certain are the crowds
that this Duluth team is attracting.
"And the gate receipts that are
rolling in should open every team's eyes
"to the fact that Rutherford's Bulldogs
"have launched a new era
in professional football."
That ought to hold them.
I'll get back to you tomorrow
after the Panther game.
- Okay, Lexie.
- Give me that.
Lexie.
- I know, Harvey.
- It's been four weeks. Where's my war hero?
Everyone's a little coy. This
story will loosen them up.
Just give me a little more time.
I just don't want another
sports fan writing a love letter.
Dust off that editor's desk, Harvey.
Assistant editor.
Stump, feel like crashing
a gin mill or two?
No, thanks, Dodge.
Some other time, maybe.
Hey, what do you say, Curly?
Feel like hitting the town?
No, I'm hitting the hay
instead, Dodge. Sorry.
Zoom, you old lounge
lizard, what do you say?
Gee, Dodge, I can't. There's a curfew.
A curfew? Since when?
We voted on the train.
Where was I?
Asleep.
I would have left you, too.
- Was that a bad move? I sent her flowers.
Well, then all is forgiven.
Yes, it is.
Why don't you like to
talk about the Argonne?
- Who's asking?
- Just me.
Stories get bigger over time.
- You never went to France.
- No, not that big.
Everything they say happened, happened.
It's just that the telling
of it gets a little better.
How much better?
We were pinned down in a gully.
We were there about three days, I guess.
It had been raining for about a week.
So some of the fellas and I,
we hunkered down in a foxhole, and we
just waited for the weather to break.
A writer from The Times was with us.
Now, you know I never drink,
but it was so cold and so wet.
I started to take a
few slugs off a flask.
Easy there, Carter. That
stuff will melt your teeth.
Ja! Sehr gut.
- Tell me again. Ich gebe surrender?
- Auf.
Ich gebe auf. If you have no
way out, you lay down your rifle
and yell, "Ich gebe auf,"
otherwise they'll shoot you.
Ich gebe auf!
We were nearly out of ammo, we
were down to about nine fellas,
and we had this plan that we
were gonna speak enough German
to get us out of there. Take
our chances in a war camp.
All through the night the fighting
continued, until we were all out of ammo.
Sitting ducks. And we
had been up for 36 hours.
That, and the drinking...
Okay, fellas, we ain't taking
this spot any time soon.
So let's call it a night and try again.
I don't know how long I was there.
But it had to have been a few hours,
because by that time, the
Jerries had taken the foxhole.
But I was so covered
up, they never saw me.
And I never saw them.
I knew we were goners, so I jumped
up, and I yelled, "Ich gebe auf!"
- Ich gebe auf!
- Ich gebe auf!
They thought I was one of them,
so they just dropped their weapons.
They just gave up.
Ich gebe auf! I'm unarmed!
And it was right about then that I
started to have a really bad feeling.
Carter?
When it was all sorted out,
the Lieutenant thought it was best
if we all just kept our mouths shut.
One for The Times, Private.
Let the chips fall where they may.
And then the story got bigger.
The President gave you a medal.
I would have made liars
out of all the fellas.
We were stuck.
That's a lot of
responsibility for a young man.
I grew up pretty fast.
It's quite a story.
And now you know.
Are we still friends?
There's this one joint off of Halstead
that's at the bottom of a meat locker.
Hey, Mikey. And you have to
walk through all this meat,
like hanging beef, like
beef, like bacon beef.
And by the time you get in
there, you smell like a brewery.
Butcher shop.
- Butcher shop.
Mr Ziegfeld says that I'm the
best dancer in the line-up.
- You don't say.
- Yeah.
My kicks are so high that
I almost knock myself out.
That's dangerous.
- Yeah, well...
And I'm super flexible, too.
I can arch my back so
that my head hits my heels.
Watch yourself there.
Is Carter Rutherford very tall?
'Cause he looks really tall.
But maybe that's just
because you're kind of short.
Hey.
- Hiya, Dodge. Come on in.
- Hey, Sully.
- Evening, Dodge.
- Mr Mayor.
You know the Mayor?
I ought to. I voted for him
five times in the last election.
Well, if it isn't Dodge
Connelly, middle-aged boy wonder.
Why, Lexie Littleton, breaking curfew.
I won't tell if you don't.
Let me introduce you to
Miss Belinda Whippleworth.
- A pleasure.
- Charmed.
I have to pee.
Enchanting girl. I thought you had to
be 21 to get into a place like this.
She is 21.
I meant her IQ.
I wasn't planning on
running her for Congress.
No? What were you
planning on doing with her?
You know, the usual.
Put her in shoulder pads and a
helmet, and knock her brains out?
I think somebody beat me to it.
She'll do well in Congress.
You're only as young
as the women you feel.
How quiet it must be at the
Algonquin with you here in Duluth.
So, are you flying solo, or
is the Bullet casting about?
What do you care? You're here
to entertain Miss Nipplewidth.
It wouldn't look good for you to
get caught in a place like this.
I'd dare say it wouldn't look good for
anyone to be caught in a place like this.
Come on, let's dance.
Hey.
Come on.
What happened tonight?
Our boy's taken a liking to yours truly.
Seems mutual, if you ask me.
So much so
that he felt compelled to clear his
conscience on his Sergeant York routine.
You mean he didn't take out a
whole platoon with a bow and arrow?
It's a raid! Let's go!
Everybody beat it! Get out of here!
Wait, wait, wait!
Go, go.
Would you have someone bring a bottle
of whisky and some ice to Room 404?
I'm sorry, sir, we don't...
Of course, sir. Excuse
me for one minute.
Ambassador Hotel.
Excuse me?
I'm sorry, Miss Littleton
is out for the evening.
May I take a message?
And who shall I say is calling?
Harvey?
Yes. From the Tribune.
Yes, "Boy Wonder." Right.
Yes. "Cook his..."
I'm sorry, how do you
spell that? Oh, "goose."
Yes, good. All right.
Thank you... Thank you, Harvey.
Stop, you two! Stop or I shoot!
- He says he'll shoot!
- He always says that.
I thought you said he always says that!
He does, just before he shoots.
Give me that.
Don't do it!
We got your mother here.
She wants to talk to you!
Johnny, come on down, Son!
Let's talk about this!
I don't want to live any more!
Johnny, please come down!
No!
All right, follow my lead.
We don't want to live any more, either!
Who are you?
What difference does it make?
We're going to kill ourselves!
Wait a minute! Wait a minute!
Don't do anything drastic!
It's too late!
Come on.
Goodbye, cruel world!
Here they come!
Thanks, fellas!
Hey, look, there's two more!
Mom?
Say, CC.
Did you say anything to
Miss Littleton tonight
that might compromise
your service record?
- No.
- She's a reporter, Carter.
No, nothing she'd repeat.
- Let me buy you a drink.
- I don't drink.
You will.
So then he jumps up and he
yells, "I give up!" in German,
and the Jerries think he's one of
them, because of the rain and the mud.
You got a little soot in your eye.
So you see, he's not
this big war hero, but...
I don't know.
Ich gebe auf. Do you know
what that means? Ich gebe auf?
"I give up" or something.
Here, close your eye.
Let me see.
Now let me see.
That's got it.
You know that sad Sunday
night feeling you'd get
when you knew the next day
you'd be back in school?
I've got that feeling right now.
Listen.
You wouldn't be surprised to
hear that I'm nuts about you.
You got guys telling you...
- I've got some decisions to make.
- In a minute.
Come on, I'll walk you.
CC tells me you're printing that story.
I haven't decided.
- You're not a reporter. You're a liar.
- Slow down there, Kaiser.
If you just wanted a story, then why
didn't the Trib send one of their hacks
with a cigar stuffed in their snout?
But, no, they sent you to
snuggle up and play nice.
I never was much for cigars, but
if it'd make you feel better...
Maybe I should just leave
$20 on the bed stand.
Take it easy, Carter.
I thought you liked me.
Look, she's too old for you.
What? Well, you're too old for me!
You got me on that one.
Why I ever let you...
Wait. Where were you two?
- Out.
- Nowhere.
Did you kiss her?
- Now, wait a minute!
- I want answers!
Yeah, I kissed her! On the mouth,
twice! And I liked it a lot.
- You did, did you?
- Yeah.
- Thanks.
- You're welcome.
Okay, well, we can do this
right here, or we can go outside.
Get him, Dodge.
- We got a game in five days.
- What?
- What, you think you're gonna hurt me?
- I might.
- Did you hear what he just called me?
- He's a little drunk.
I am not drunk, you coward!
Really? 'Cause your sleeve's on fire.
Really?
You two are a pair.
You've created quite a stir, Lexie.
I'm just getting started.
You know, you have many qualities that I
like, not the least of which is intelligence.
If you write that story,
I'll have your job.
You wouldn't be very good at it.
- You're quick, too.
- And I got great legs.
First thing I noticed.
The story runs tomorrow.
See you tomorrow, Lexie.
- Let's get this over with.
- Yeah.
Outside.
Go ahead. Throw one.
No, you're the injured party.
You get the first punch.
That's not bad.
Now when I get up, I'm
going to punch you back.
I just want to say,
stay away from my right knee.
Watch my left shoulder.
I will.
Also my right hindquarter.
Behind my right thigh, but
really, the whole hindquarter.
Well, you wouldn't punch me in the back,
would you? Because I got a bad back.
No, never.
- Let's just go for the face.
- Me too, just hit me in the face.
Say, Harvey, I'm coming home.
Did you get him?
I got him, but you're not gonna like it.
It's going to read, "We wanted a war
hero so badly, we went out and got one."
You did your job. Now,
come on home and write it.
You know something, Harvey?
Sometimes this job stinks.
A lot of times, kid. See you tomorrow.
Yeah, I'll see you tomorrow.
That ought to hold you.
How's your hand?
I didn't mean to hurt it with my face.
I think I'll play for Chicago.
I thought you should know.
Good team.
When you going?
Tomorrow.
We play Chicago Sunday.
I know.
Well, then we'll just have to beat you.
Not likely.
This ought to be good.
Nice turnout.
Gentlemen, thank you very much
for coming out this morning.
I will be brief. Two
days ago, the Tribune
made a salacious and quite
outrageous accusation that my client,
Carter Rutherford, a great war hero,
was less than truthful about
his service to his country.
They produced one witness.
Anonymously. One man, who'd served
alongside Carter on the frontlines.
The only other
corroborating story came from
Miss Lexie Littleton, who claimed
that Carter confessed to her
that his war story was a lie.
However, I have with me today
Mr Mack Steiner, a
veteran of the Great War.
Mr Steiner, please.
Hello. My name is
Lieutenant Mack Steiner.
I am a veteran of the Great War.
I also served with Mr
Rutherford in that war.
And I think what would
be of most interest to you
is that I am the source the Tribune
has quoted in its damning article.
All I can tell you is that
article, written by Miss Littleton,
is filled with half-truths
and exaggerated facts.
The whole truth
is that Mr Rutherford is a war hero.
I was honoured to serve with him!
So who got to you, Mack?
How much you getting paid?
Once again we...
How much are you
getting paid, huh, Mack?
We demand that the
Tribune issue an apology
and recant this story immediately!
Come back, Miss Littleton!
Come back and face your critics!
Ladies and gentlemen.
Ladies and gentlemen!
Good morning, folks.
My name is Pete Harpen.
I was a prosecutor for
the State of Wisconsin
until 10:00 a.m. this morning.
At that time, Congress appointed me the
Commissioner of Professional Football.
This new job will start
immediately, and my first charge
will be to get to the bottom of
this scandal, and then move on.
That means rules adhered to,
codes of ethics, owners, players.
Everything pertaining to football
will now have me to answer to.
And that means right now the
Chicago Tribune has me to answer to.
So, fellas, I think this
press conference is concluded.
It doesn't matter. You're
writing a retraction.
- But I didn't make it up. The story's true.
- That part doesn't matter.
There must have been nine
or ten other soldiers there.
Give me a chance to round them up.
Mickey already found five or six. Private
Mike Stone, Private Henry Maggio...
- They all say none of them will talk.
- Little more time, Harvey.
Well, I'll get somebody. I'll find a
couple of those krauts if I have to.
We don't have the time, God damn it.
We're cutting our
losses and getting out.
I'm not gonna write it. You can grab
one of these clowns if you want to,
but I'm the one getting
my wings clipped.
Sorry, Harvey. Lexie, there's
somebody here to see you.
- Who?
- Dodge Connelly.
Tell him I'm not here.
I heard that!
God damn it.
You know, Dodge, you've got a knack
for showing up at the perfect time.
- Some call it a skill.
- Did you come to gloat?
- I was just in the neighbourhood.
- Chicago. Just out for a stroll?
- Can I talk to you in private?
- Fine.
So, ready for the big game Sunday?
- Not really.
Queer, you saying that. I've never
known you to quit before a game.
Well, we got ourselves a
new football commissioner.
He doesn't like the
way we play the game.
I know your new appointee.
I've been called to the carpet. I got to
go in tomorrow and lay before the king.
- You get to keep your job?
- If I play by their rules.
So play by their rules. It's fourth
down. Punt, you'll get the ball back.
- Punt?
- That's what I'd do.
You would, would you?
You get him again next Sunday.
You go find the rest of the
soldiers, and you get the real story.
We called them all. None of
them will go on the record.
So now what, Mr Newspaper
Man? Statue of Liberty play?
- Quit.
- Quit? And do what, Dodge?
- Get married.
- There's a fine idea.
Can't make it in the big
tough man's world, so get out.
And who should I marry, Dodge?
- A farmer? Be a milkmaid?
- Nothing wrong with football players.
Nothing wrong with them?
There's nothing right with them.
Grown men in tights and headgear.
Is that what you came
down here for, Dodge?
To sweep me away from all of this
dull newspaper stuff to get married?
- As a matter of fact it was.
- Well, tomorrow I've got to...
It was?
Lexie, Carter Rutherford
on the line for you.
Lexie?
Should I tell him you're busy?
You're busy.
Oh, nuts.
This better be good.
Sure is a mess.
Gonna get worse.
For somebody.
Is that what you wanted to say?
Probably not.
I'll see you at the hearing, Carter.
I'm sure you'll get everything you want.
Probably not.
A shot of whisky, please.
What do you think?
About?
We got a shot at beating Chicago now?
You kidding? We had them
beat when we pulled in.
Yup.
How about that Lexie?
Who'd have thought it?
Not me.
I liked her, too.
Stand ready, boys.
Say, Mac. Give me some beers and a
bottle of your second-finest bourbon.
Thank you.
A toast! A toast!
To the greatest football
team in the world!
- Chicago!
- To Chicago!
To the Bulldogs!
To the greatest game in the world!
Get the hell off me, shit for brains!
Put the boy down, asshole.
We were just horsing around.
There's no need to call
people names, Grandpa.
Now, I appreciate that
you fellows are in uniform,
so I'm going to give you an opportunity
to extract yourself from this situation.
- To do what?
- Back off the throttle, kid.
I sure do hate to hit an old man.
Sorry, Dodge.
Hey, Dodge!
Eddie?
Jesus, it's been years. You look great!
You do, too. You still in uniform?
I'm a sergeant now.
No more taking orders.
Hey, Frankie, this is Dodge Connelly.
We fought in France together.
- You don't say. Nice to meet you.
- You, too.
Yeah.
So, what are you doing in town?
We're off to China in a week.
Thought we'd hit the town.
This is the best spot.
Over there, over there
Send the word, send the word over there
That the Yanks are coming
The Yanks are coming
The drums rum-tumming everywhere
So prepare
When you shipping out?
Friday. We're gonna hit all the joints
and try to get in the game in the morning.
You know, Eddie, I
play for the Bulldogs.
I know, Dodge. Everybody knows.
They do? What do they say about me?
They like you, but the game's changing.
Yeah. For the better?
Don't know. I do know we like
the Bullet. He plays for us now.
Yeah. He's a hell of a player.
And a war hero, no
thanks to the Tribune.
We'll be over, we're coming over
And we won't come back
till it's over over there
What time is it?
Eddie, you want to get your
boys in the game this afternoon?
Do I?
Can I borrow something from you
fellas? In exchange for front-row seats.
Depends. Just what
do you want to borrow?
The drums rum-tumming everywhere
So prepare, say a prayer
Send the word, send the word to beware
We'll be over, we're coming over
And we won't come back
till it's over over there
Mr Harpen will see you now.
Funny how things work out.
New set of rules today.
Why was this woman put on the story?
Harvey, I think that
question is for you.
She's the best.
Is that right?
Miss Littleton, are you the best?
You want me to answer that?
We'll get back to you.
Mr Rutherford, the story of your
accomplishments smells of legend.
Mr Commissioner, the men who
served with Carter back up...
Back his story? That's fine.
There were many fine men
who served in this war.
Let's say you just sit there, CC.
I know you.
Harvey, I want that
retraction in your paper.
Front page.
Miss Littleton, you're going to write it,
or I'll run you out of this town on a rail.
- It's going to run tomorrow morning.
- I'll resign.
That's fine.
Mickey Patterson from the
Metro desk can write it.
And may I just add that although
you cannot un-tell a lie,
I hope the Tribune will bend over backwards
to restore the reputation of my client.
We have many lucrative contracts...
I'm sorry, Mr Harpen. He just barged in!
It was important for me to be here,
- since it's my player that's been traded.
- It's all right, Bonnie.
Mr Connelly, the Chicago trade
is not one of the subjects...
Hey, Carter, how's tricks?
Don't you have a game
today? You look like hell.
That's because I've been
up drinking all night.
Say, Lexie!
Say, Dodge. What are you doing?
Here's the skinny.
So, I'm out all night at a
joint called The Green Room,
where they serve liquor.
Which is illegal, last time I checked.
Right you are, Pete, and a young
cocktail waitress named Ya Ya
said to send you her best, which
from what I hear, is miraculous.
Not key to this story.
My point is, I was out
drinking and celebrating
with a bunch of Chicago fans
who also happen to be
veterans of the Great War.
As what goes on at a place
like this, we get to talking,
and you come to find out that
six or seven of these fellas
served with Carter when he
beat the Kaiser single-handedly.
Well, Mr Connelly, we've established
that Mr Rutherford's war record is intact.
Right you are, Pete.
So I tell these guys that I'm
playing with Carter later on today,
and they tell me that they really
want to see their buddy face to face.
To thank him, I would suppose.
I can't think of any other
reason. Can you, Carter?
So here's the fun part. I say to myself,
I say, "Dodge, what the hell!
"Carter's just down at the courthouse.
These fellows can see him right now!"
They flipped. They jumped into the back
of the truck. They're down here right now,
in the pouring rain,
waiting to see their buddy.
Carter, they really wanted to see you.
There's this one fellow,
I don't remember his name.
Little guy, he's got dark hair, he's...
Private Maggio?
Maggio, yeah. He's a lieutenant now.
And then another guy, big,
stocky fellow with a crew cut.
He's bulky, kind of heavy-set.
- Stone?
- Mike Stone?
Mike Stone! Mike Stone. Yeah,
he's put on a lot of weight.
Pete, come on, let's do a little
something nice for our boys in the uniform.
Well, let's make it quick. Bonnie,
send those soldiers up, if you would.
Hey, boys! Come on up
here! He's dying to see you!
- What did he say?
- He wants us to go up.
Come on, we got to go.
Let's go down and meet them.
They don't have to walk up.
CC, I'd like to thank those
fellows for their service.
They shouldn't come in here. It would
be a mistake for them to come here.
What are you talking about, mistake?
Because these soldiers,
they've been up all night at a
speakeasy with some gal named Ya Ya.
What do you say we just stop?
- No...
- CC, stop.
It's my fault. I should
have put an end to it.
Put an end to what?
It's all true.
Lexie's story.
And the soldiers down in
that truck, they know it.
That's why CC doesn't want
these fellows to come up here.
What about Mack Steiner's story?
I guess CC paid him off.
Sit down, all of you.
It's funny how things work out.
Lexie, you and Harvey can go.
You're not going to write a retraction.
I thought you'd see it our way,
Commissioner. I'll get my hat.
Lexie.
Thanks, fellas.
See you, Lex.
Be seeing you, Dodge.
I'll be with you in
a second, Mr Connelly.
Mr Rutherford, you got one play here.
You go to the press and tell them
you were part of a great group of
boys who fought for their country,
and you got too much credit.
You think that will settle it?
That, and you're gonna donate 50% of
your earnings to the American Legion.
- Is that before or after commissions?
- Before.
But that's not gonna matter
a whole hell of a lot.
Got a new book of rules.
"All agents and representatives of
players will be licensed by the state."
I'm the state.
I'm the one who approves
your licence, CC.
You're out of football.
I'll fight you in court.
You get your lawyer, I'll get mine.
Good day, gentlemen.
It is funny how things work out.
Do you know Chicago bookmakers
are betting on the game of professional
football not lasting a year?
Even with Carter.
And then where will all the
little boys who won't grow up go?
There's always baseball.
How much longer you think
you might be playing?
Why?
The game of professional
football has come of age.
Now we got to abide by
a uniform set of rules.
It's too much, too much money now.
No more hiding footballs
under your jersey.
No more Pig in the Poke.
No more Crusty Bobs.
No more all-nights in a
speakeasy with my friend Ya Ya.
It's time for you to retire, Dodge.
But you can't make me.
No.
But I can fine the hell out
of you till you're broke.
And if you pull a stunt
today, I'll kick you out.
- You got that much gas?
- Try me.
Have a good game today, Dodge.
Have a good, clean game.
Thanks, fellas.
- It doesn't seem fair.
- We never played any game clean.
- We played Wabash clean last year.
- They only had nine men.
Yeah, but still...
Ladies and gentlemen,
good afternoon and welcome.
It is a fine day for professional
football here in Chicago.
Rain has been coming down in buckets but,
at least for the moment, has subsided.
That's making for some muddy conditions
as the league-leading Chicago
team, with their new star
Carter "the Bullet" Rutherford,
hosts the Duluth Bulldogs,
who are out for revenge.
Field conditions are simply horrible.
That should favour the
ground game of Chicago.
But the real story
today is the match-up
between the Bullet and old
team-mate Dodge Connelly.
And we're proud to bring you
all the action live on the radio.
Joining me in the broadcast booth
is Saul Keller, our sound engineer.
And we remind you that our programme
is brought to you in part by
Coca-Cola, "Delicious and refreshing,"
and Standard Motor Gasoline.
Go home, you bums!
I hope Big Gus didn't stretch
your uniform out too bad, Eddie.
Lose this one for us, will you, Dodge?
We just might.
Never thought I'd see the day.
Times are changing.
It's a hell of a thing.
You can't say "hell" over the radio.
Why not?
Those are the rules.
Jesus.
You can't say "Jesus," either!
- Say, Sudsey.
- Hiya, doll.
Hell of a crowd.
Are you two related?
Well, we are ready for the coin toss.
The two captains, Connelly and Rutherford,
are going to head to the 50-yard line.
And who wouldn't want to be down
there on the field for this exchange?
Dodge.
- Fellas.
- Carter.
Okay, so, the winner of the coin toss
gets to determine which side of
the field they want to play on.
For example, Dodge, if you want
to play from this end zone...
Jimmy, what happens after that?
It's a new rule.
Oh, yeah. Okay. Then the opposing
team, that would be you, Carter,
you decide whether you
want to kick off or receive.
And that's all determined
by the coin toss.
Who calls that?
Hell, I don't care.
Carter, you call it.
You're the home team.
Write that down. That's a good one.
Heads.
It's heads.
We'll take the ball.
We'll take that side of the field.
Okay, well, then let's get
this damn thing started!
It's a whole new game.
- I'll try not to hurt you.
- Yeah, you do that.
And here we go, folks. Duluth
is set to kick off to Chicago.
Hardleg Hansen boots
the ball in the air.
And Rutherford snags it.
He's to the 10, the 20.
Look out, he's at the 30!
Side-stepped Ralph
Banning. Look at him go!
He's at the 40, the 50!
He's got one guy to beat.
Yes, folks, it's number
Connelly brings down Rutherford
at the Bulldogs' 49-yard line.
Chicago fans are on their feet.
Now, that's how you start a game!
Wow!
The ball is handed off to
Rutherford at the line of scrimmage,
and he's slammed to the ground by Big
Gus Schiller from Penrose High School.
It's a run.
Well, after three very safe plays,
Chicago is finding itself
facing a fourth down
with 8 yards to go.
They'll line up for a field goal and hope
to walk away with just three points here.
That is some well-played
defence by the Bulldogs.
It's all right, fellas. We're
just going to wear them down.
Let's take three and put them back
on their heels, all right? Let's go.
Hauser is lined up for the kick.
The snap is down and the kick is...
Good!
It only took six minutes
into the first quarter
to get on the board,
and Chicago has done it.
They lead, 3 to nil.
Legs Hauser is set to
kick off for Chicago.
Sudsey, can I have a
shot of your giggle water?
Yeah, but don't drink
it all. I'm in need.
Word is the new commissioner told
Dodge he had to play the game clean
or he'd kick him out of football.
Clean?
No Pig in a Poke? No
Chasing the Cattail?
Not even a Crusty Bob.
Christ!
Sorry.
Can he win like that?
Without question, he cannot.
But the worst part is...
Boring.
Well, with 10 minutes left
to go in the second quarter,
Chicago still leads, 3 to nothing.
Neither team seems to be moving the ball.
The Bulldogs with just
All right, how many
yards did we get, seven?
Two.
- Really? -
One-and-a-half.
- What down is it, second?
- Third. Third.
- All right, let's throw the ball down the field.
- Okay.
Curly, you run down the sideline, and
you beat that dwarf to the 40, okay?
- Okay, Dodge.
- All right.
Well, the first half has ended
pretty much the way we started here,
3 to nil, Chicago.
And after two quarters of play,
I guess you could blame the
low-scoring game on field conditions.
That's all right, Ralphie.
We can win this.
They just want to wear us
down, but we can win this!
Come on. Tell them, Dodge.
- We can win this.
- Yeah!
Yeah, Bulldogs! Come on, guys.
Put it down with the Bulldogs. Come on.
Gone are the big plays.
Gone are the on-field antics
that have made this Duluth team
so successful up to now.
So far, the big match-up between
Dodge Connelly and Carter Rutherford
seems to be little more than
a wrestling match in the mud.
It looks like Lake Michigan out there
and certainly seems to
be affecting both teams.
Go on in.
What? I've never heard of that!
You can't block a man in the back!
You got to be kidding
me! Not even at his knees?
Pall Mall for that
smooth, go anywhere taste.
And as we head into
the fourth quarter here,
the scoreboard still
reads Chicago 3, Duluth 0.
Today's match-up not exactly the
offensive showdown we'd hoped for.
More like a muddy snooze fest so far
as Carter "the Bullet" Rutherford has
a grand total of about 300 yards...
I can't tell who's who.
Well, folks, with just under a
minute left in the fourth quarter,
Duluth is pinned down on their own 35.
It's fourth down at four yards to go.
The Bulldogs really have
no choice but to go for it.
Connelly takes a lateral from
Zoom, and look out, he's at the 45!
The 50! Rutherford tailing
him! He's at the 45!
Rutherford hot on his heels!
He brings down Connelly
on the 38-yard line of
Chicago! How about that?
Time-out on the field now,
and these fans are not happy.
And they're letting
Rutherford and his boys know.
- How many time-outs
we got left? - Two.
Two? Good. We got time
for two more plays.
We're gonna take it down the right side,
we're gonna get it out of
bounds and stop the clock.
Get about 8 more yards, then
Hardleg can tie this thing up.
What?
Let's just beat them now, Dodge.
You guys having fun?
Heck, yeah.
Okay, God damn it. Let's beat them now.
I got a new play. It's
called the Sergeant York.
Listen up, watch the wing.
Nobody gets out of bounds.
Bulldogs run a sweep to
the right side of the field,
and that's not fooling anyone.
- Stretcher!
- Stretcher!
And there seems to be
an injury on the field.
A Duluth player, can't
quite make out which one.
They're gonna bring the
stretcher out to pick him up,
but, boy, you hate to see that,
especially so late in the game.
Just 15 seconds left to go here.
That's bad luck for Coach Ferguson,
too. He's down to just 10 players.
You need another player.
Well, that's all we
got. We'll go with 10.
And that's going to cost
him one of his time-outs.
See if you can see which player that is.
Where's Dodge?
No time on the clock! Watch that
line. Nobody gets out of bounds!
Watch that line. Nobody
gets out of bounds!
Nine!
Twenty-one!
Here we go! No time
left! This is it, boys!
Zoom takes the snap.
And here comes Chicago.
He looks down the field.
He's still looking.
All the receivers are well covered.
Zoom slides left, almost gets
tackled by his own player!
Rutherford has him in his sights!
There's the gun! No time left!
Zoom throws up a Hail Mary!
The ball's in the air.
And...
It popped right out of
the hands of Bakes Davis!
I can't tell. The ball is somewhere down
in a pile of some four or five players.
The referee is pulling
them apart, and...
It's...
It's intercepted! It's intercepted!
Chicago wins! My, oh
my, oh my, what a finish!
Chicago has intercepted and blanked the
Bulldogs today, and this crowd is loving it!
Yeah!
- Where's Dodge?
- What?
Wait a minute. There seems to
be some confusion on the field.
Ich gebe auf!
Ich gebe auf!
Ich gebe auf!
It's a touchdown, not an
interception! A touchdown!
Dodge Connelly has caught the ball
in the end zone with no time left!
Duluth has stunned this
crowd! The Bulldogs won!
They won! They won!
The Bulldogs have beat Chicago, 6 to 3.
It's a Bulldog victory!
Fantastic finish!
Dodge caught the ball!
Dodge caught the ball!
Shit.
They're going to kick you
out for that one, Dodge.
Yes, they will.
It was fun.
Take care, Carter.
Dodge.
I'm going to confess
everything tomorrow.
The whole story.
Yeah.
I was with Sergeant York that day that
he took out 30 Germans single-handedly.
He got a lot of them.
I got a few myself.
We like our heroes, Carter.
- You just made that up.
- Yes, I did.
Be seeing you.
So, I'm working on my
lead story for tomorrow.
Headline's something about
a single man taking on
an entire team by himself.
Well, there were other
players on my team.
I was talking about Carter.
So you're a sportswriter now.
Why not?
Well, certain jobs are always
going to be done by men.
Big, strapping men? What else?
Auto mechanics, plumbers...
Motorcycles?
You want to drive?
Hop on, Mr Connelly.
I'll buy you a soda pop.
Worried about your reputation?
As a matter of fact, I am.
The trick is to hang on.
What will become of us, Dodge?
Ride off into the sunset?
Live happily ever after?
- Well, marriage.
- Of course.
- Kids, I suppose.
- Naturally.
I guess some sort of scandal.
- Taxes, maybe.
- Lose all our money.
The family home?
Then, after a brief turn in jail...
You'll like it there!
Not me, you.
Quickly followed by dementia.
What was your name, again?
- My friends call me Lexie.
- Fine.
You can call me Miss Littleton.
That'd be nice. Well, Miss Littleton...
You should be warned that the way
you're holding me now, you're choking me.
year and you graduate.
- What's waiting for you out there?
- Don't know, Nate.
Get a job, make a couple bucks,
maybe even buy your paper.
- Will you miss football?
- Heck, yeah, I'll miss it,
- but what are you gonna do?
- Beats me.
- Nothing much you can do.
- You could always go pro.
You know, Stump, there are
several time-tested methods
for diverting the defence
from the ball carrier.
Throwing your body in front of
them with a certain amount of force.
- What, you mean blocking?
- Sounds kind of rough.
- You know, that could hurt, Dodge.
- Yes, it could.
Frank? You got to get me a blocker.
I've been thinking the
same thinking, Dodge,
and I'm looking at this high
school kid over at Penrose.
- High school?
- Yeah, but he's mature for his age.
Like Bug over there?
No, forget the water bucket,
Bug. Go and get that ball!
It's the only ball we got.
Get rid of it.
- We're down to the third?
- Yeah.
Let's give them the Rin Tin Tin.
Okay, Coach, we need another ball.
Well, ask them other fellas, why don't
you? That's the only ball we have.
Well, then, you better find one, and
fast, or you're gonna have to forfeit.
Forfeit?
- We're creaming these mutts.
- The home team provides the game ball.
You don't have another ball, you
forfeit the game. That's the rules.
Where's that written?
- It ain't written. It's just the rules.
- Well, I never heard of it.
- Maybe you're going deaf, old man.
Dear, there must be better ways
to promote the starch business.
Tough loss there, Dodge.
Hate to end a home stand
like that on a technicality.
- You ever heard of that rule?
- Me? No. I never heard of any rules.
My point exactly. Goddamn
rules are ruining the game.
Goddamn rules.
Bug, when you're done with the water,
grab my shaving kit from my suitcase.
Grab your own damn shaving kit!
- For Christ's sake, Frank,
how much can a football cost?
You think footballs are
grown out of thin air?
So, you get a few simoleons
from the Starch King.
Hey, Dodge, do I feel hot to you?
- No more than the next man.
- Fever runs in my family, you know.
Everything runs in your
family, Ralph, except your feet.
Look what you made me...
I have to start again.
It's no big joke. You'll make
us miss the train to Milwaukee.
- Milwaukee? What about Akron?
- Akron team folded day before yesterday.
- We gonna play Milwaukee instead.
- I can't go to Milwaukee.
- I got a wrestling match tonight.
- Get out of it.
- It pays $100.
- We'll see you when you get back.
- That's okay. I got this kid coming.
- The high school kid from Penrose?
Yeah. He can only practise after
class, but wait till you see him.
- When's he coming?
- He's gonna meet us
at the Waterford station
when the train stops.
- Hey, I got an extra fin coming my way.
- You lost that last game.
I did not. Dodge, didn't I have this
tooth today when we started the game?
Curly, I learnt long ago never
to stare directly into your face.
Show me the lost tooth,
I'll give you the 5.
If I had it, it wouldn't be lost.
- Ready, Suds?
- Yeah, shoot.
The Duluth Bulldogs lost
to the Toledo Bullets today
in a dirty game of
professional league football,
where a new and dangerous element
has been creeping in, rules.
- Goddamn rules.
- The lone moment of glory came...
Say, Joe.
- Nice hat, Lexie.
Thanks, I just bought it.
Listen, can you get me in a room with
Hank Kelly at the comptroller's desk?
- He won't talk to reporters in fancy hats.
- Hey, Lexie. You going hunting?
It's a very expensive hat,
your whole year's salary.
Harvey wants to see you in his office.
I'd take that mack off
before you go in there.
- You would, would you?
- He might think there's an air raid.
Good, boys, complete sentences.
Next week, let's try paragraphs.
- Say, Pete, see about Hank Kelly, will you?
- He doesn't talk to reporters.
- Say, Harvey.
- Nice piata.
- Don't you start.
- Pull up a chair.
Best seat in the house.
Who are you, Sarge?
Mack Steiner. Lieutenant.
Lexie, I got one for you.
You ever hear of Carter
Rutherford, "the Bullet"?
Football boy? War hero football boy?
Good-looking war hero football boy.
Took time out of
college to fight the war.
Got a whole platoon of
Jerries to surrender.
Just dropped their guns and gave
up from the sound of his voice.
You ought to hire him. Get
rid of this pack of geniuses.
- We're gonna do a story on him.
- What's your angle?
- It ain't true.
- It's all a crock.
The kid's doing radio
shows and advertisements.
He's hired a promoter named CC Frazier
to put himself on the
cover of every magazine.
I like those razors.
- Sure. Who doesn't?
So what's the story, Mack?
I served with him. I was there
in the Argonne. He ain't no hero.
You're gonna meet with Carter and
CC. He's gonna be in town next month.
And you're gonna do a story
on the virtues of the Bullet.
The many virtues!
And then we're gonna break the
myth of the War Hero Bullet.
Listen, you got fellas
who'd be perfect for this.
Three Knickerbockers
out there, for instance,
who'd trade their high school
diplomas for a crack at it.
- It's not my kind of story.
- Lexie,
CC Frazier wants the Chicago
Tribune to do a story on his protg.
We're gonna oblige him,
and you're gonna do it.
Can I talk to you alone for a minute?
Captain, would you excuse us?
It's Lieutenant. I'll wait in the hall.
Thanks, Lieutenant.
Why me?
Because it's a big story
and you're the best.
Thought you'd say it's 'cause I
have the best legs in the office.
No, Joe does.
Okay, Harvey, I'll make you a deal.
If I throw some facts together
about this Bombshell...
- Bullet.
- Bullet.
- And we chop down his apple tree...
- You get the assistant editor's desk.
Okay, Chief.
You get Mack's story, and
I'll get you your Bullet.
"The lone moment of glory
came in the 4th quarter,
"when Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly
lateraled to Bakes Davis,
"who ran through a trio
of open-field tackles
"and into the Duluth end zone.
"And whereas the hotly disputed
contest will go down in the books
"as a Toledo victory, the hearts
and minds of all who witnessed
"the classic gridiron confrontation
were clearly won by the Duluth Bulldogs."
- Awfully good, Suds.
- Sure is a great thing to read, Suds.
When the muse strikes,
who am I to resist?
It's almost like you were
playing the game yourself.
What I try to achieve in my
prose is a sense of flight.
Now that's a crowd, ain't it, Dodge?
Sure is. We didn't have crowds
like that when I was in school.
You went to college?
- Colleges.
Waterford! Waterford next!
Waterford next!
Waterford!
Is that Big Gus Schiller?
- How you doing, boy?
- Hey, how you doing?
Here, get in this car.
Boys, I want you to be
meeting our newest player.
This is Big Gus Schiller
from Penrose High School.
Hi. How you doing? How's it going?
- So you're in high school, are you?
- Yeah.
Got held back, did you?
No.
Hey, kid, what position
did you play in high school?
Kicker.
- Kicker?
- What the hell?
Coach thought it'd be
the best position for me.
- Who's your coach?
- Math teacher.
Huddle up.
Hooked it.
God! Right in the...
Gus, look. You stand over here, next to
him, and you hit anybody that comes near him.
Anybody that comes near him!
Oh, I like him.
Dodge, I need to have a speech with you.
What do you mean folded?
Milwaukee can't fold.
They're broke, is what. Like
Akron. No money, no team.
We're broke, too.
- We're broke now? Our season just started!
- Look, we're broke, I'm telling you.
If you got no money to pay salaries,
no money to buy train tickets,
no money to rent a
field, then you're broke.
It's over, Dodge. It's time
to pack it up and go home.
The Starch King is gonna sell us
What's gonna happen to these guys?
I don't know.
And I thought the Milwaukee
game would turn it around,
what with Big Gus
coming on board for us.
Milwaukee got Joe Washburn
playing good, but...
Now there's no Milwaukee game.
It's finished.
Half these guys will probably
end up back in the mines.
This isn't exactly the cream
of America's work force.
They don't have a lot of options.
Shit!
I'll read you what he had to say.
"I regret to inform you
that Perennial Starch
"is hereby terminating our
sponsorship of the Duluth Bulldogs."
So that's it, fellas.
It's the end of the line for us.
This will be your last paycheque.
From here on out, you're on your own.
But I want to say what a privilege
it's been to coach you boys.
What you've done on the
field has been amazing.
Big Gus, I want to say to
you, son, thank you for coming.
- Name?
- Connelly.
Dodge Connelly.
- Age?
- 38.
How do you mean?
Are you a welder or a machinist
or a pipe fitter? You know, skills.
I got you.
Did you serve in the war?
- Yes.
- Well, you must have learnt a trade there.
Not one you'd like.
Mr Connelly, if you
have no trade skills,
how have you made a living
in the last 20 years?
- A cup of coffee. How much is coffee?
- 10 cents.
Here's 15. You keep it.
Now I can buy that
house I always wanted.
And while only halfway
through the Princeton season,
Carter "the Bullet" Rutherford has
piled on a whopping 14 touchdowns
and 720 yards.
We spoke to the Medal of
Honor winner after the game.
- Carter, how you feeling?
- Feel pretty good, Mac.
Their defence just kept coming at you,
but I figured I might get around them
if I just put my mind to it.
Guess I've learnt something
from dodging those Jerries.
And that's the kind of bravery
on display every Saturday, folks.
The kind of fearlessness that brings
in those fans by the thousands.
Some 40,000 people on
hand just last Saturday.
Now here's a little ditty
I'm sure you'll all know.
I'm trying to reach CC
Frazier. Do you know how...
Well, why can't you tell me?
Listen, my name's Connelly.
It's about football.
I've never heard of you, either, Miss.
No, what I... Hello?
Sheez!
- 'Cause I said I liked your dress?
- Stop saying that!
- It's true.
- It's boring.
- It's all I wanted to say.
- I'm starting to think it's all you can say.
- What's your name?
- Leonard.
Leonard, you better run along
before my fianc gets here.
He's far less tolerant of
your existence than I am.
There's no reason to be angry. I
was simply paying you a compliment.
Stop it. You're just acting like a big
baby 'cause you miss your mother's bosoms.
- My mother's what?
- Her bosoms, you goof!
You're substituting my
bosoms for your mother's.
- What? No, I'm not.
- Why not? What's wrong with my bosoms?
Honestly, Miss Littleton, we're in
public. The rules of etiquette apply.
Leonard, it's 1925. There are no rules.
Except that boys like you
are tedious until they're 40,
at which point they
become unbearably tedious.
- I didn't come over here to be insulted.
- No? Where do you usually go?
And don't think just 'cause
you haven't said anything
that I don't know what you're up to.
I'm talking to you, behind the magazine.
Don't you know I could have
you arrested for eavesdropping?
- Excuse me?
- Or are you really an avid reader
- of Ladies' Home Journal?
- I never miss an issue.
I see.
- Waiting for someone?
- I'm sorry, were you speaking to me?
No, just practising my American
accent. Of course I was speaking to you.
As a matter of fact, I
was waiting for someone.
- Who?
- A business associate.
A business associate.
So cryptic. So manly.
Clearly beyond the
comprehension of a feeble female.
If you say so.
What I want to know is why you
chose to come in here from the lobby,
where you obviously had business,
to sit next to me and
listen to my conversation?
Tell me. Or are you afraid to say?
I'm not afraid to say it.
I'm in love with Leonard.
Go ahead and laugh, everyone does.
We had something beautiful
until you came along.
You think you can just toss
him away like a sack of flour.
- That's funny.
- Hey, haven't you done enough?
No, really, who are you?
- What's your name?
- I'm Dodge.
- Dodge Connelly of Duluth, Minnesota.
- Lexie Littleton. Champaign, Illinois.
Hey, Lexie, what are
you doing for dinner?
You're a lot of fun, Mr Connelly,
and I'm sorry I'm not gonna
get to know you better,
but you should leave before my
fianc gets here. He's kind of big.
- I can handle myself.
- No, really, Mr Connelly.
Mr Connelly is buried next
to my mother. I'm Dodge.
- Dodge, it'd be better if you go.
- Better for whom?
Don't get familiar, Mr Connelly.
Just because we had a laugh
doesn't mean you know me.
- My apologies.
- Apology accepted.
But I do know you.
- You think so?
- Oh, yeah.
- Really?
- Yeah.
You're the kind of cocktail
that comes on like sugar,
but gives you a kick in the head.
The only thing you hate
worse than a guy making a play
is when a guy doesn't make a play.
Were you making a
play? I hadn't realised.
It might work on my Aunt Lurleen.
She's a little near-sighted.
There's an article on peach-canning
in here that I'm dying to get back to.
Well, I know you, too, Dodge Connelly.
You think you're the slickest
operator in Duluth, and maybe you are,
but being the slickest operator in Duluth is
kind of like being the world's tallest midget,
- if you ask me.
- It's too bad we know each other so well.
- We might have gotten along.
- Well, I'll live.
Alone.
Lexie?
Mr Frazier, Lexie Littleton.
I do apologise for keeping you waiting.
- So, where is this cute boyfriend of mine?
- Well, I thought he was behind me.
There he is now.
He finds it very difficult
moving around in public.
Carter.
Say, CC!
He loves his fans.
Carter, this is Miss Littleton of the
Tribune. She's doing a piece on you.
Well, that'll be fine.
- A pleasure, Mr Rutherford.
- Carter, Miss Littleton.
Lexie, Carter.
- Say, CC...
- There you are.
Could you bring the car
around? We're ready to leave.
- I don't think this gentleman works here.
- No?
He certainly looks like
the retrieving type.
- Do you work here, Dodge?
- No, CC, I came to talk to you.
Yes, well, I'm afraid we're going to dinner.
Come, let's find a real valet, shall we?
I have $20,000 that says
you might want to talk.
So if I understand you
correctly, Mr Connelly,
it's your intention to
legitimise professional football?
- That's right.
- Well, let me say straight off,
there's no such beast
as professional football.
There's only miners and farmers and
shell-shocked veterans of the Great War,
smashing each other's skulls together
in a million turnip fields
from Duluth to East Jesus.
Now I ask you, how do you
intend to legitimise that?
By keeping it alive,
by investing in a team.
Well, you see, there's the catch.
I'm not interested in investing.
I'm more of a 20-percenter. New
talent, new ideas interest me.
Professional football does
not attract new talent,
and investing in a professional
football team is not a new idea.
Dodge,
we had some laughs a few years ago.
- You had some laughs.
- Yes.
Yes, I guess I did.
- So...
- Okay.
How about this for a new idea?
Carter Rutherford leaves Princeton
to play for the Duluth Bulldogs.
- What?
- Hear me out.
Carter, you're a pretty
remarkable guy, aren't you?
- I just play football.
- You don't have to be modest with me.
I know your story.
How you put your education on hold to
serve your country, to fight in the war.
I was just doing what
I thought was right.
The President gave you
a medal for bravery.
I was just in the right
place at the right time.
That's not what the papers said. They
called you the hero of the Argonne.
Then, when you went back to school, you
turned out to be a football hero, too.
- Mr Connelly, I'm just a guy...
- Carter.
Do kids chase you down
the hallway at school?
Sometimes.
Follow you around? Ask
you for an autograph?
It happens, yeah, but you can't
take that stuff too seriously.
You feel like sometimes everybody
wants something from you?
And how are you compensated for living your
life under that kind of public scrutiny?
By paying tuition to Princeton.
Let me ask you a question.
Do you like playing football?
I love playing football.
Good. You got one more year and
that's it. That's all she wrote.
What are you gonna do then?
Actually, I've already been
accepted to Yale Law School.
I have a position waiting for
me at Hager, Danes and Upton
when I get my law degree.
It turns out, I'm not too bad a
student, when I put my mind to it.
You... That's good. It's good.
And all of that will be waiting
for you, no question about it.
But the world's full of good lawyers.
In football, there's only
one Carter Rutherford.
You don't need any more teaching
to be what you are out on the field.
You ought to be playing football, and
you ought to be rewarded for your talent.
Makes sense. Sort of.
So did bloodletting at the time.
You're very passionate, Mr Connelly.
What exactly do you have in mind?
Carter Rutherford takes a temporary
leave from Princeton to play for Duluth,
and in exchange he is
guaranteed $5,000 a game.
Let's you and I have
another drink, Mr Connelly.
You're the boss.
Why don't you two run along,
conduct your interview,
whilst Mr Connelly and
I thrash out your future?
Come on, Carter.
Carter Rutherford wouldn't sit
on a bench for that kind of money.
Did I say 5? I meant 10.
I assume you'll be paying
this out of the gate receipts?
- That's right.
- Of course, I'll want it in the form
of a guarantee. Plus I get
a percentage of the overages.
Of course. In the neighbourhood of 5%.
I was thinking a little more uptown.
- 10?
- 25.
I'll understand if you
decline. Most teams would.
Most, but not all.
Sudsy? Listen up.
Carter Rutherford's gonna be playing
for the Duluth Bulldogs starting Sunday.
We're... What? No, just listen. We're
taking a Pullman to Duluth tonight.
We're gonna get there in the
morning. Round up everybody you can.
Get the word around. I want a nice
welcoming committee when we pull in.
What? Just trust me. Thanks, pal.
Harvey, change of plans. I'm taking a
train with these knuckleheads to Duluth.
What? No, I haven't been
drinking! It's a long story.
Just give me a few days. Hey,
how'd it go with Mack Steiner?
So don't use his name.
Believe me, Harvey, by the end of the
week, this kid will cook his own goose.
I got to go.
Hey, what are you doing?
Sorry.
You know, truth be told, I
was a better baseball player.
But college baseball isn't too popular.
What about the war? Where'd
all that courage come from?
I don't know about courage.
A platoon of German
soldiers surrendered to you.
Quite a few have made
a lot out of much less.
Let's talk about something else.
Like, how did Miss Lexie
Littleton get so curious
- she worked her way up a newspaper room?
- Not really the homemaker type.
Depends on the home, I guess.
This is me.
- An eventful day, Mr Bullet.
- Good night, Lexie.
Bright and early, Bullet.
You got a big day ahead.
Hey, Lexie,
you think I did the right
thing about this Duluth deal?
I think you did the right
thing about the Duluth deal.
Well, I'm glad.
I'm happy you're glad.
Good night.
I'm glad you're glad.
You've got a lot of moxie!
I didn't know it was your
berth. I would have armed myself.
I'm calling the porter.
- I'm not decent.
- Well, there's an understatement!
Neither are you.
- You looked?
- I glanced.
- Need help with that hook?
- No.
- Good evening.
- Yes, it is.
You know, this may seem a little awkward
coming from the man who only
promotes the man of your dreams,
but I've had a little thought.
- Perhaps it can wait till tomorrow?
- Probably, but that's not my style.
You see, Miss Littleton,
Carter is very important to me.
I want to make sure you treat
him fairly in your newspaper.
- I resent the implication that I wouldn't.
- Lexie,
Carter is good for the
country. He's a war hero.
Good for the Tribune, they
sell newspapers. Good for me.
- Good for you.
- Lexie...
I'm having a conversation
with a rather beautiful woman,
and she and I were wondering if
you'd care to join us for a nightcap?
- Good night, CC.
- Good night, Lexie.
- What?
- I think I'll sleep up here tonight.
You most certainly will not!
Really?
"Believe me, Harvey, by the end of the
week, this kid will cook his own goose."
- You were spying on me!
- I was observing.
- So, you want to play dirty?
- Maybe later. I'm a little tired right now.
So here we are.
- Not sure what the next move is.
- It happens.
- It's the first time for me.
- They all say that.
- I'm sure you snore.
- Attagirl!
Listen, I'm sorry if what
I said today upset you.
Don't be.
- Which part?
- The "kick in the head" part.
It's forgotten.
- I'm sorry if what I said today upset you.
- Don't be.
- Which part?
- The "tallest midget" part.
What about the "I know you" part?
- I still mean that.
- Then I'm still upset.
You're the tops!
- Hey, Carter!
Carter! Carter!
It's a three-ring circus with
Carter as the dancing bear.
Yeah. Wonder what that makes us.
Dodge, look, look!
Welcome to show business!
Hi!
When's the last Princeton game, Carter?
I guess I already played it.
So, you going to shake up the
team? Anybody you want fired?
No, no, no, of course not. I'm not the coach.
Besides, they're a great bunch of players.
Hey, where the hell is everybody?
CC moved practise over to
Ennis Field, at the university.
What?
Why?
Is it illustrated?
- You're late.
- Says who?
It's 8:30. You're late.
- How's your story coming?
- Swell, thanks.
Cooked his goose yet?
You get crowds like
this when you practised?
- By the thousands.
- Yeah, I'll bet.
Dodge!
You saw the crowd? For a practise!
I tell you, our shit has really
come in! And look at this!
- That must make you happy, huh?
- It must.
- Hey, Dodge, you see the new uniforms?
- Can you believe it?
Yeah.
Hey, Dodgie, look at this thing!
- Brand spanking new!
- Nice.
- Say, Dodge.
- Hey, Dodge.
Hey, fellas.
Say, Dodge, you missed callisthenics.
- Thank God!
- Couple of plays we ran at Princeton.
- A couple?
- Now, I was thinking,
we should switch to the
Single Back Formation
rather than sticking with
the Wing. What do you think?
Well, the Single Back's good, but,
see, the way we ran the team...
- Which one is me?
- That's you, right there, behind the guard.
I guess I should get a couple
of diagrams of the plays we run.
Sure. Yeah. These are a lot like your
plays, only a little more effective.
- Well, a lot of our plays are pretty strong.
- Some yes, some no.
But all that matters is that we
win. We want to win, don't we, boys?
Yeah!
- You said it, Carter!
Hey, they're here! Come on, fellas!
- You're a 10.5, right, Dodge?
- 11.
Well, today's the big day, folks.
Princeton's Carter Rutherford is
playing his first professional game,
and it's right here at Ennis
Field with Duluth's own Bulldogs.
People have been coming
in to town all week
from locations as far as Akron,
Ohio and Lexington, Kentucky
just to get a glimpse
of the 6'3" phenom.
Tickets are 75 cents adults and
And if you're a Huskers fan, it's $10.
Just kidding, gang. We
love those Cleveland fans.
See you at the game.
Come on, folks! Root
for Carter! Go, Bulldogs!
They're calling for rain today, boys.
- Hey! What's a girl doing in the press box?
- Rutherford says she knows her stuff.
Yeah? I'm thinking
maybe he knows her stuff.
- Who you write for, honey?
- Tribune, fatso.
- Since when do they cover pro football?
- Since I decided to write about it.
- You planning on taking notes?
- No. Got a mind like an elephant.
It's like the Library of Congress up there.
Nothing gets lost. Nothing gets stolen.
- Ain't that right, Bob?
- Bill!
Here we go.
That Carter is really something, huh?
Great catch, Dodge.
- Nice, Dodge.
Bulldogs!
See you, boys.
"In his eagerly awaited debut as
a professional football player,
"Carter 'the Bullet' Rutherford
ran for an astonishing 162 yards.
"Given his reported salary,
that's nearly $100 a yard.
"But the fleet-footed
newcomer earned every penny.
"Unstoppable, unbeatable
and uncatchable,
"the Bullet has
arrived, and pro football
"will never be the same."
Well, he had a little help out there, Dodge.
You sure you want me to write it like that?
- We didn't fold, did we?
- No, we didn't fold, Dodge.
- He's a hell of a player.
- Yeah.
- And what do you get out of all this?
- 10% of your gross income.
It's very little, when you consider
how much I can increase your salary.
Well, just ask Carter. MGM
wants to sign him to a contract.
You think that I could be in the movies?
Sure, Zoom. Just buy a ticket.
Now, I want you to peruse
this diet and exercise plan,
which Carter has evolved
for aspiring athletes.
The Rutherford Diet, patent pending,
is based on scientific research.
So, tell me, where could
I find a Lexie Littleton?
- Chicago, I guess. There are a lot of us.
- Well, then I'm going to Chicago.
How old are you?
- A gentleman doesn't ask...
- I'm not a gentleman.
I'm a football player. Are you 30?
I'm just shy of that mark,
thank you. How old are you? 24?
Just past that mark, thank you.
- That's a lie.
- Yes, it is.
- I'm 31.
- Yup.
Do you have a question?
Pro football's got a completely
different style, Carter.
They play two, three games a week.
How do you plan on adjusting to that?
Well, maybe they'll
kind of adjust to me.
There goes the gun.
Is it possible, folks?
With this young man, well,
yes, it is! Touchdown!
You ready, Mickey? Okay, flash.
"With another eye-opening
display of canny passing
"and superb broken-field running,
Carter 'the Bullet' Rutherford
"led the Bulldogs to victory
"over an increasingly
forlorn Pottsville team.
"The choice that awaits these teams
is to imitate the college techniques
"that Rutherford has
transplanted to the pro game
"or to fall hopelessly
behind in the standings.
"What is certain are the crowds
that this Duluth team is attracting.
"And the gate receipts that are
rolling in should open every team's eyes
"to the fact that Rutherford's Bulldogs
"have launched a new era
in professional football."
That ought to hold them.
I'll get back to you tomorrow
after the Panther game.
- Okay, Lexie.
- Give me that.
Lexie.
- I know, Harvey.
- It's been four weeks. Where's my war hero?
Everyone's a little coy. This
story will loosen them up.
Just give me a little more time.
I just don't want another
sports fan writing a love letter.
Dust off that editor's desk, Harvey.
Assistant editor.
Stump, feel like crashing
a gin mill or two?
No, thanks, Dodge.
Some other time, maybe.
Hey, what do you say, Curly?
Feel like hitting the town?
No, I'm hitting the hay
instead, Dodge. Sorry.
Zoom, you old lounge
lizard, what do you say?
Gee, Dodge, I can't. There's a curfew.
A curfew? Since when?
We voted on the train.
Where was I?
Asleep.
I would have left you, too.
- Was that a bad move? I sent her flowers.
Well, then all is forgiven.
Yes, it is.
Why don't you like to
talk about the Argonne?
- Who's asking?
- Just me.
Stories get bigger over time.
- You never went to France.
- No, not that big.
Everything they say happened, happened.
It's just that the telling
of it gets a little better.
How much better?
We were pinned down in a gully.
We were there about three days, I guess.
It had been raining for about a week.
So some of the fellas and I,
we hunkered down in a foxhole, and we
just waited for the weather to break.
A writer from The Times was with us.
Now, you know I never drink,
but it was so cold and so wet.
I started to take a
few slugs off a flask.
Easy there, Carter. That
stuff will melt your teeth.
Ja! Sehr gut.
- Tell me again. Ich gebe surrender?
- Auf.
Ich gebe auf. If you have no
way out, you lay down your rifle
and yell, "Ich gebe auf,"
otherwise they'll shoot you.
Ich gebe auf!
We were nearly out of ammo, we
were down to about nine fellas,
and we had this plan that we
were gonna speak enough German
to get us out of there. Take
our chances in a war camp.
All through the night the fighting
continued, until we were all out of ammo.
Sitting ducks. And we
had been up for 36 hours.
That, and the drinking...
Okay, fellas, we ain't taking
this spot any time soon.
So let's call it a night and try again.
I don't know how long I was there.
But it had to have been a few hours,
because by that time, the
Jerries had taken the foxhole.
But I was so covered
up, they never saw me.
And I never saw them.
I knew we were goners, so I jumped
up, and I yelled, "Ich gebe auf!"
- Ich gebe auf!
- Ich gebe auf!
They thought I was one of them,
so they just dropped their weapons.
They just gave up.
Ich gebe auf! I'm unarmed!
And it was right about then that I
started to have a really bad feeling.
Carter?
When it was all sorted out,
the Lieutenant thought it was best
if we all just kept our mouths shut.
One for The Times, Private.
Let the chips fall where they may.
And then the story got bigger.
The President gave you a medal.
I would have made liars
out of all the fellas.
We were stuck.
That's a lot of
responsibility for a young man.
I grew up pretty fast.
It's quite a story.
And now you know.
Are we still friends?
There's this one joint off of Halstead
that's at the bottom of a meat locker.
Hey, Mikey. And you have to
walk through all this meat,
like hanging beef, like
beef, like bacon beef.
And by the time you get in
there, you smell like a brewery.
Butcher shop.
- Butcher shop.
Mr Ziegfeld says that I'm the
best dancer in the line-up.
- You don't say.
- Yeah.
My kicks are so high that
I almost knock myself out.
That's dangerous.
- Yeah, well...
And I'm super flexible, too.
I can arch my back so
that my head hits my heels.
Watch yourself there.
Is Carter Rutherford very tall?
'Cause he looks really tall.
But maybe that's just
because you're kind of short.
Hey.
- Hiya, Dodge. Come on in.
- Hey, Sully.
- Evening, Dodge.
- Mr Mayor.
You know the Mayor?
I ought to. I voted for him
five times in the last election.
Well, if it isn't Dodge
Connelly, middle-aged boy wonder.
Why, Lexie Littleton, breaking curfew.
I won't tell if you don't.
Let me introduce you to
Miss Belinda Whippleworth.
- A pleasure.
- Charmed.
I have to pee.
Enchanting girl. I thought you had to
be 21 to get into a place like this.
She is 21.
I meant her IQ.
I wasn't planning on
running her for Congress.
No? What were you
planning on doing with her?
You know, the usual.
Put her in shoulder pads and a
helmet, and knock her brains out?
I think somebody beat me to it.
She'll do well in Congress.
You're only as young
as the women you feel.
How quiet it must be at the
Algonquin with you here in Duluth.
So, are you flying solo, or
is the Bullet casting about?
What do you care? You're here
to entertain Miss Nipplewidth.
It wouldn't look good for you to
get caught in a place like this.
I'd dare say it wouldn't look good for
anyone to be caught in a place like this.
Come on, let's dance.
Hey.
Come on.
What happened tonight?
Our boy's taken a liking to yours truly.
Seems mutual, if you ask me.
So much so
that he felt compelled to clear his
conscience on his Sergeant York routine.
You mean he didn't take out a
whole platoon with a bow and arrow?
It's a raid! Let's go!
Everybody beat it! Get out of here!
Wait, wait, wait!
Go, go.
Would you have someone bring a bottle
of whisky and some ice to Room 404?
I'm sorry, sir, we don't...
Of course, sir. Excuse
me for one minute.
Ambassador Hotel.
Excuse me?
I'm sorry, Miss Littleton
is out for the evening.
May I take a message?
And who shall I say is calling?
Harvey?
Yes. From the Tribune.
Yes, "Boy Wonder." Right.
Yes. "Cook his..."
I'm sorry, how do you
spell that? Oh, "goose."
Yes, good. All right.
Thank you... Thank you, Harvey.
Stop, you two! Stop or I shoot!
- He says he'll shoot!
- He always says that.
I thought you said he always says that!
He does, just before he shoots.
Give me that.
Don't do it!
We got your mother here.
She wants to talk to you!
Johnny, come on down, Son!
Let's talk about this!
I don't want to live any more!
Johnny, please come down!
No!
All right, follow my lead.
We don't want to live any more, either!
Who are you?
What difference does it make?
We're going to kill ourselves!
Wait a minute! Wait a minute!
Don't do anything drastic!
It's too late!
Come on.
Goodbye, cruel world!
Here they come!
Thanks, fellas!
Hey, look, there's two more!
Mom?
Say, CC.
Did you say anything to
Miss Littleton tonight
that might compromise
your service record?
- No.
- She's a reporter, Carter.
No, nothing she'd repeat.
- Let me buy you a drink.
- I don't drink.
You will.
So then he jumps up and he
yells, "I give up!" in German,
and the Jerries think he's one of
them, because of the rain and the mud.
You got a little soot in your eye.
So you see, he's not
this big war hero, but...
I don't know.
Ich gebe auf. Do you know
what that means? Ich gebe auf?
"I give up" or something.
Here, close your eye.
Let me see.
Now let me see.
That's got it.
You know that sad Sunday
night feeling you'd get
when you knew the next day
you'd be back in school?
I've got that feeling right now.
Listen.
You wouldn't be surprised to
hear that I'm nuts about you.
You got guys telling you...
- I've got some decisions to make.
- In a minute.
Come on, I'll walk you.
CC tells me you're printing that story.
I haven't decided.
- You're not a reporter. You're a liar.
- Slow down there, Kaiser.
If you just wanted a story, then why
didn't the Trib send one of their hacks
with a cigar stuffed in their snout?
But, no, they sent you to
snuggle up and play nice.
I never was much for cigars, but
if it'd make you feel better...
Maybe I should just leave
$20 on the bed stand.
Take it easy, Carter.
I thought you liked me.
Look, she's too old for you.
What? Well, you're too old for me!
You got me on that one.
Why I ever let you...
Wait. Where were you two?
- Out.
- Nowhere.
Did you kiss her?
- Now, wait a minute!
- I want answers!
Yeah, I kissed her! On the mouth,
twice! And I liked it a lot.
- You did, did you?
- Yeah.
- Thanks.
- You're welcome.
Okay, well, we can do this
right here, or we can go outside.
Get him, Dodge.
- We got a game in five days.
- What?
- What, you think you're gonna hurt me?
- I might.
- Did you hear what he just called me?
- He's a little drunk.
I am not drunk, you coward!
Really? 'Cause your sleeve's on fire.
Really?
You two are a pair.
You've created quite a stir, Lexie.
I'm just getting started.
You know, you have many qualities that I
like, not the least of which is intelligence.
If you write that story,
I'll have your job.
You wouldn't be very good at it.
- You're quick, too.
- And I got great legs.
First thing I noticed.
The story runs tomorrow.
See you tomorrow, Lexie.
- Let's get this over with.
- Yeah.
Outside.
Go ahead. Throw one.
No, you're the injured party.
You get the first punch.
That's not bad.
Now when I get up, I'm
going to punch you back.
I just want to say,
stay away from my right knee.
Watch my left shoulder.
I will.
Also my right hindquarter.
Behind my right thigh, but
really, the whole hindquarter.
Well, you wouldn't punch me in the back,
would you? Because I got a bad back.
No, never.
- Let's just go for the face.
- Me too, just hit me in the face.
Say, Harvey, I'm coming home.
Did you get him?
I got him, but you're not gonna like it.
It's going to read, "We wanted a war
hero so badly, we went out and got one."
You did your job. Now,
come on home and write it.
You know something, Harvey?
Sometimes this job stinks.
A lot of times, kid. See you tomorrow.
Yeah, I'll see you tomorrow.
That ought to hold you.
How's your hand?
I didn't mean to hurt it with my face.
I think I'll play for Chicago.
I thought you should know.
Good team.
When you going?
Tomorrow.
We play Chicago Sunday.
I know.
Well, then we'll just have to beat you.
Not likely.
This ought to be good.
Nice turnout.
Gentlemen, thank you very much
for coming out this morning.
I will be brief. Two
days ago, the Tribune
made a salacious and quite
outrageous accusation that my client,
Carter Rutherford, a great war hero,
was less than truthful about
his service to his country.
They produced one witness.
Anonymously. One man, who'd served
alongside Carter on the frontlines.
The only other
corroborating story came from
Miss Lexie Littleton, who claimed
that Carter confessed to her
that his war story was a lie.
However, I have with me today
Mr Mack Steiner, a
veteran of the Great War.
Mr Steiner, please.
Hello. My name is
Lieutenant Mack Steiner.
I am a veteran of the Great War.
I also served with Mr
Rutherford in that war.
And I think what would
be of most interest to you
is that I am the source the Tribune
has quoted in its damning article.
All I can tell you is that
article, written by Miss Littleton,
is filled with half-truths
and exaggerated facts.
The whole truth
is that Mr Rutherford is a war hero.
I was honoured to serve with him!
So who got to you, Mack?
How much you getting paid?
Once again we...
How much are you
getting paid, huh, Mack?
We demand that the
Tribune issue an apology
and recant this story immediately!
Come back, Miss Littleton!
Come back and face your critics!
Ladies and gentlemen.
Ladies and gentlemen!
Good morning, folks.
My name is Pete Harpen.
I was a prosecutor for
the State of Wisconsin
until 10:00 a.m. this morning.
At that time, Congress appointed me the
Commissioner of Professional Football.
This new job will start
immediately, and my first charge
will be to get to the bottom of
this scandal, and then move on.
That means rules adhered to,
codes of ethics, owners, players.
Everything pertaining to football
will now have me to answer to.
And that means right now the
Chicago Tribune has me to answer to.
So, fellas, I think this
press conference is concluded.
It doesn't matter. You're
writing a retraction.
- But I didn't make it up. The story's true.
- That part doesn't matter.
There must have been nine
or ten other soldiers there.
Give me a chance to round them up.
Mickey already found five or six. Private
Mike Stone, Private Henry Maggio...
- They all say none of them will talk.
- Little more time, Harvey.
Well, I'll get somebody. I'll find a
couple of those krauts if I have to.
We don't have the time, God damn it.
We're cutting our
losses and getting out.
I'm not gonna write it. You can grab
one of these clowns if you want to,
but I'm the one getting
my wings clipped.
Sorry, Harvey. Lexie, there's
somebody here to see you.
- Who?
- Dodge Connelly.
Tell him I'm not here.
I heard that!
God damn it.
You know, Dodge, you've got a knack
for showing up at the perfect time.
- Some call it a skill.
- Did you come to gloat?
- I was just in the neighbourhood.
- Chicago. Just out for a stroll?
- Can I talk to you in private?
- Fine.
So, ready for the big game Sunday?
- Not really.
Queer, you saying that. I've never
known you to quit before a game.
Well, we got ourselves a
new football commissioner.
He doesn't like the
way we play the game.
I know your new appointee.
I've been called to the carpet. I got to
go in tomorrow and lay before the king.
- You get to keep your job?
- If I play by their rules.
So play by their rules. It's fourth
down. Punt, you'll get the ball back.
- Punt?
- That's what I'd do.
You would, would you?
You get him again next Sunday.
You go find the rest of the
soldiers, and you get the real story.
We called them all. None of
them will go on the record.
So now what, Mr Newspaper
Man? Statue of Liberty play?
- Quit.
- Quit? And do what, Dodge?
- Get married.
- There's a fine idea.
Can't make it in the big
tough man's world, so get out.
And who should I marry, Dodge?
- A farmer? Be a milkmaid?
- Nothing wrong with football players.
Nothing wrong with them?
There's nothing right with them.
Grown men in tights and headgear.
Is that what you came
down here for, Dodge?
To sweep me away from all of this
dull newspaper stuff to get married?
- As a matter of fact it was.
- Well, tomorrow I've got to...
It was?
Lexie, Carter Rutherford
on the line for you.
Lexie?
Should I tell him you're busy?
You're busy.
Oh, nuts.
This better be good.
Sure is a mess.
Gonna get worse.
For somebody.
Is that what you wanted to say?
Probably not.
I'll see you at the hearing, Carter.
I'm sure you'll get everything you want.
Probably not.
A shot of whisky, please.
What do you think?
About?
We got a shot at beating Chicago now?
You kidding? We had them
beat when we pulled in.
Yup.
How about that Lexie?
Who'd have thought it?
Not me.
I liked her, too.
Stand ready, boys.
Say, Mac. Give me some beers and a
bottle of your second-finest bourbon.
Thank you.
A toast! A toast!
To the greatest football
team in the world!
- Chicago!
- To Chicago!
To the Bulldogs!
To the greatest game in the world!
Get the hell off me, shit for brains!
Put the boy down, asshole.
We were just horsing around.
There's no need to call
people names, Grandpa.
Now, I appreciate that
you fellows are in uniform,
so I'm going to give you an opportunity
to extract yourself from this situation.
- To do what?
- Back off the throttle, kid.
I sure do hate to hit an old man.
Sorry, Dodge.
Hey, Dodge!
Eddie?
Jesus, it's been years. You look great!
You do, too. You still in uniform?
I'm a sergeant now.
No more taking orders.
Hey, Frankie, this is Dodge Connelly.
We fought in France together.
- You don't say. Nice to meet you.
- You, too.
Yeah.
So, what are you doing in town?
We're off to China in a week.
Thought we'd hit the town.
This is the best spot.
Over there, over there
Send the word, send the word over there
That the Yanks are coming
The Yanks are coming
The drums rum-tumming everywhere
So prepare
When you shipping out?
Friday. We're gonna hit all the joints
and try to get in the game in the morning.
You know, Eddie, I
play for the Bulldogs.
I know, Dodge. Everybody knows.
They do? What do they say about me?
They like you, but the game's changing.
Yeah. For the better?
Don't know. I do know we like
the Bullet. He plays for us now.
Yeah. He's a hell of a player.
And a war hero, no
thanks to the Tribune.
We'll be over, we're coming over
And we won't come back
till it's over over there
What time is it?
Eddie, you want to get your
boys in the game this afternoon?
Do I?
Can I borrow something from you
fellas? In exchange for front-row seats.
Depends. Just what
do you want to borrow?
The drums rum-tumming everywhere
So prepare, say a prayer
Send the word, send the word to beware
We'll be over, we're coming over
And we won't come back
till it's over over there
Mr Harpen will see you now.
Funny how things work out.
New set of rules today.
Why was this woman put on the story?
Harvey, I think that
question is for you.
She's the best.
Is that right?
Miss Littleton, are you the best?
You want me to answer that?
We'll get back to you.
Mr Rutherford, the story of your
accomplishments smells of legend.
Mr Commissioner, the men who
served with Carter back up...
Back his story? That's fine.
There were many fine men
who served in this war.
Let's say you just sit there, CC.
I know you.
Harvey, I want that
retraction in your paper.
Front page.
Miss Littleton, you're going to write it,
or I'll run you out of this town on a rail.
- It's going to run tomorrow morning.
- I'll resign.
That's fine.
Mickey Patterson from the
Metro desk can write it.
And may I just add that although
you cannot un-tell a lie,
I hope the Tribune will bend over backwards
to restore the reputation of my client.
We have many lucrative contracts...
I'm sorry, Mr Harpen. He just barged in!
It was important for me to be here,
- since it's my player that's been traded.
- It's all right, Bonnie.
Mr Connelly, the Chicago trade
is not one of the subjects...
Hey, Carter, how's tricks?
Don't you have a game
today? You look like hell.
That's because I've been
up drinking all night.
Say, Lexie!
Say, Dodge. What are you doing?
Here's the skinny.
So, I'm out all night at a
joint called The Green Room,
where they serve liquor.
Which is illegal, last time I checked.
Right you are, Pete, and a young
cocktail waitress named Ya Ya
said to send you her best, which
from what I hear, is miraculous.
Not key to this story.
My point is, I was out
drinking and celebrating
with a bunch of Chicago fans
who also happen to be
veterans of the Great War.
As what goes on at a place
like this, we get to talking,
and you come to find out that
six or seven of these fellas
served with Carter when he
beat the Kaiser single-handedly.
Well, Mr Connelly, we've established
that Mr Rutherford's war record is intact.
Right you are, Pete.
So I tell these guys that I'm
playing with Carter later on today,
and they tell me that they really
want to see their buddy face to face.
To thank him, I would suppose.
I can't think of any other
reason. Can you, Carter?
So here's the fun part. I say to myself,
I say, "Dodge, what the hell!
"Carter's just down at the courthouse.
These fellows can see him right now!"
They flipped. They jumped into the back
of the truck. They're down here right now,
in the pouring rain,
waiting to see their buddy.
Carter, they really wanted to see you.
There's this one fellow,
I don't remember his name.
Little guy, he's got dark hair, he's...
Private Maggio?
Maggio, yeah. He's a lieutenant now.
And then another guy, big,
stocky fellow with a crew cut.
He's bulky, kind of heavy-set.
- Stone?
- Mike Stone?
Mike Stone! Mike Stone. Yeah,
he's put on a lot of weight.
Pete, come on, let's do a little
something nice for our boys in the uniform.
Well, let's make it quick. Bonnie,
send those soldiers up, if you would.
Hey, boys! Come on up
here! He's dying to see you!
- What did he say?
- He wants us to go up.
Come on, we got to go.
Let's go down and meet them.
They don't have to walk up.
CC, I'd like to thank those
fellows for their service.
They shouldn't come in here. It would
be a mistake for them to come here.
What are you talking about, mistake?
Because these soldiers,
they've been up all night at a
speakeasy with some gal named Ya Ya.
What do you say we just stop?
- No...
- CC, stop.
It's my fault. I should
have put an end to it.
Put an end to what?
It's all true.
Lexie's story.
And the soldiers down in
that truck, they know it.
That's why CC doesn't want
these fellows to come up here.
What about Mack Steiner's story?
I guess CC paid him off.
Sit down, all of you.
It's funny how things work out.
Lexie, you and Harvey can go.
You're not going to write a retraction.
I thought you'd see it our way,
Commissioner. I'll get my hat.
Lexie.
Thanks, fellas.
See you, Lex.
Be seeing you, Dodge.
I'll be with you in
a second, Mr Connelly.
Mr Rutherford, you got one play here.
You go to the press and tell them
you were part of a great group of
boys who fought for their country,
and you got too much credit.
You think that will settle it?
That, and you're gonna donate 50% of
your earnings to the American Legion.
- Is that before or after commissions?
- Before.
But that's not gonna matter
a whole hell of a lot.
Got a new book of rules.
"All agents and representatives of
players will be licensed by the state."
I'm the state.
I'm the one who approves
your licence, CC.
You're out of football.
I'll fight you in court.
You get your lawyer, I'll get mine.
Good day, gentlemen.
It is funny how things work out.
Do you know Chicago bookmakers
are betting on the game of professional
football not lasting a year?
Even with Carter.
And then where will all the
little boys who won't grow up go?
There's always baseball.
How much longer you think
you might be playing?
Why?
The game of professional
football has come of age.
Now we got to abide by
a uniform set of rules.
It's too much, too much money now.
No more hiding footballs
under your jersey.
No more Pig in the Poke.
No more Crusty Bobs.
No more all-nights in a
speakeasy with my friend Ya Ya.
It's time for you to retire, Dodge.
But you can't make me.
No.
But I can fine the hell out
of you till you're broke.
And if you pull a stunt
today, I'll kick you out.
- You got that much gas?
- Try me.
Have a good game today, Dodge.
Have a good, clean game.
Thanks, fellas.
- It doesn't seem fair.
- We never played any game clean.
- We played Wabash clean last year.
- They only had nine men.
Yeah, but still...
Ladies and gentlemen,
good afternoon and welcome.
It is a fine day for professional
football here in Chicago.
Rain has been coming down in buckets but,
at least for the moment, has subsided.
That's making for some muddy conditions
as the league-leading Chicago
team, with their new star
Carter "the Bullet" Rutherford,
hosts the Duluth Bulldogs,
who are out for revenge.
Field conditions are simply horrible.
That should favour the
ground game of Chicago.
But the real story
today is the match-up
between the Bullet and old
team-mate Dodge Connelly.
And we're proud to bring you
all the action live on the radio.
Joining me in the broadcast booth
is Saul Keller, our sound engineer.
And we remind you that our programme
is brought to you in part by
Coca-Cola, "Delicious and refreshing,"
and Standard Motor Gasoline.
Go home, you bums!
I hope Big Gus didn't stretch
your uniform out too bad, Eddie.
Lose this one for us, will you, Dodge?
We just might.
Never thought I'd see the day.
Times are changing.
It's a hell of a thing.
You can't say "hell" over the radio.
Why not?
Those are the rules.
Jesus.
You can't say "Jesus," either!
- Say, Sudsey.
- Hiya, doll.
Hell of a crowd.
Are you two related?
Well, we are ready for the coin toss.
The two captains, Connelly and Rutherford,
are going to head to the 50-yard line.
And who wouldn't want to be down
there on the field for this exchange?
Dodge.
- Fellas.
- Carter.
Okay, so, the winner of the coin toss
gets to determine which side of
the field they want to play on.
For example, Dodge, if you want
to play from this end zone...
Jimmy, what happens after that?
It's a new rule.
Oh, yeah. Okay. Then the opposing
team, that would be you, Carter,
you decide whether you
want to kick off or receive.
And that's all determined
by the coin toss.
Who calls that?
Hell, I don't care.
Carter, you call it.
You're the home team.
Write that down. That's a good one.
Heads.
It's heads.
We'll take the ball.
We'll take that side of the field.
Okay, well, then let's get
this damn thing started!
It's a whole new game.
- I'll try not to hurt you.
- Yeah, you do that.
And here we go, folks. Duluth
is set to kick off to Chicago.
Hardleg Hansen boots
the ball in the air.
And Rutherford snags it.
He's to the 10, the 20.
Look out, he's at the 30!
Side-stepped Ralph
Banning. Look at him go!
He's at the 40, the 50!
He's got one guy to beat.
Yes, folks, it's number
Connelly brings down Rutherford
at the Bulldogs' 49-yard line.
Chicago fans are on their feet.
Now, that's how you start a game!
Wow!
The ball is handed off to
Rutherford at the line of scrimmage,
and he's slammed to the ground by Big
Gus Schiller from Penrose High School.
It's a run.
Well, after three very safe plays,
Chicago is finding itself
facing a fourth down
with 8 yards to go.
They'll line up for a field goal and hope
to walk away with just three points here.
That is some well-played
defence by the Bulldogs.
It's all right, fellas. We're
just going to wear them down.
Let's take three and put them back
on their heels, all right? Let's go.
Hauser is lined up for the kick.
The snap is down and the kick is...
Good!
It only took six minutes
into the first quarter
to get on the board,
and Chicago has done it.
They lead, 3 to nil.
Legs Hauser is set to
kick off for Chicago.
Sudsey, can I have a
shot of your giggle water?
Yeah, but don't drink
it all. I'm in need.
Word is the new commissioner told
Dodge he had to play the game clean
or he'd kick him out of football.
Clean?
No Pig in a Poke? No
Chasing the Cattail?
Not even a Crusty Bob.
Christ!
Sorry.
Can he win like that?
Without question, he cannot.
But the worst part is...
Boring.
Well, with 10 minutes left
to go in the second quarter,
Chicago still leads, 3 to nothing.
Neither team seems to be moving the ball.
The Bulldogs with just
All right, how many
yards did we get, seven?
Two.
- Really? -
One-and-a-half.
- What down is it, second?
- Third. Third.
- All right, let's throw the ball down the field.
- Okay.
Curly, you run down the sideline, and
you beat that dwarf to the 40, okay?
- Okay, Dodge.
- All right.
Well, the first half has ended
pretty much the way we started here,
3 to nil, Chicago.
And after two quarters of play,
I guess you could blame the
low-scoring game on field conditions.
That's all right, Ralphie.
We can win this.
They just want to wear us
down, but we can win this!
Come on. Tell them, Dodge.
- We can win this.
- Yeah!
Yeah, Bulldogs! Come on, guys.
Put it down with the Bulldogs. Come on.
Gone are the big plays.
Gone are the on-field antics
that have made this Duluth team
so successful up to now.
So far, the big match-up between
Dodge Connelly and Carter Rutherford
seems to be little more than
a wrestling match in the mud.
It looks like Lake Michigan out there
and certainly seems to
be affecting both teams.
Go on in.
What? I've never heard of that!
You can't block a man in the back!
You got to be kidding
me! Not even at his knees?
Pall Mall for that
smooth, go anywhere taste.
And as we head into
the fourth quarter here,
the scoreboard still
reads Chicago 3, Duluth 0.
Today's match-up not exactly the
offensive showdown we'd hoped for.
More like a muddy snooze fest so far
as Carter "the Bullet" Rutherford has
a grand total of about 300 yards...
I can't tell who's who.
Well, folks, with just under a
minute left in the fourth quarter,
Duluth is pinned down on their own 35.
It's fourth down at four yards to go.
The Bulldogs really have
no choice but to go for it.
Connelly takes a lateral from
Zoom, and look out, he's at the 45!
The 50! Rutherford tailing
him! He's at the 45!
Rutherford hot on his heels!
He brings down Connelly
on the 38-yard line of
Chicago! How about that?
Time-out on the field now,
and these fans are not happy.
And they're letting
Rutherford and his boys know.
- How many time-outs
we got left? - Two.
Two? Good. We got time
for two more plays.
We're gonna take it down the right side,
we're gonna get it out of
bounds and stop the clock.
Get about 8 more yards, then
Hardleg can tie this thing up.
What?
Let's just beat them now, Dodge.
You guys having fun?
Heck, yeah.
Okay, God damn it. Let's beat them now.
I got a new play. It's
called the Sergeant York.
Listen up, watch the wing.
Nobody gets out of bounds.
Bulldogs run a sweep to
the right side of the field,
and that's not fooling anyone.
- Stretcher!
- Stretcher!
And there seems to be
an injury on the field.
A Duluth player, can't
quite make out which one.
They're gonna bring the
stretcher out to pick him up,
but, boy, you hate to see that,
especially so late in the game.
Just 15 seconds left to go here.
That's bad luck for Coach Ferguson,
too. He's down to just 10 players.
You need another player.
Well, that's all we
got. We'll go with 10.
And that's going to cost
him one of his time-outs.
See if you can see which player that is.
Where's Dodge?
No time on the clock! Watch that
line. Nobody gets out of bounds!
Watch that line. Nobody
gets out of bounds!
Nine!
Twenty-one!
Here we go! No time
left! This is it, boys!
Zoom takes the snap.
And here comes Chicago.
He looks down the field.
He's still looking.
All the receivers are well covered.
Zoom slides left, almost gets
tackled by his own player!
Rutherford has him in his sights!
There's the gun! No time left!
Zoom throws up a Hail Mary!
The ball's in the air.
And...
It popped right out of
the hands of Bakes Davis!
I can't tell. The ball is somewhere down
in a pile of some four or five players.
The referee is pulling
them apart, and...
It's...
It's intercepted! It's intercepted!
Chicago wins! My, oh
my, oh my, what a finish!
Chicago has intercepted and blanked the
Bulldogs today, and this crowd is loving it!
Yeah!
- Where's Dodge?
- What?
Wait a minute. There seems to
be some confusion on the field.
Ich gebe auf!
Ich gebe auf!
Ich gebe auf!
It's a touchdown, not an
interception! A touchdown!
Dodge Connelly has caught the ball
in the end zone with no time left!
Duluth has stunned this
crowd! The Bulldogs won!
They won! They won!
The Bulldogs have beat Chicago, 6 to 3.
It's a Bulldog victory!
Fantastic finish!
Dodge caught the ball!
Dodge caught the ball!
Shit.
They're going to kick you
out for that one, Dodge.
Yes, they will.
It was fun.
Take care, Carter.
Dodge.
I'm going to confess
everything tomorrow.
The whole story.
Yeah.
I was with Sergeant York that day that
he took out 30 Germans single-handedly.
He got a lot of them.
I got a few myself.
We like our heroes, Carter.
- You just made that up.
- Yes, I did.
Be seeing you.
So, I'm working on my
lead story for tomorrow.
Headline's something about
a single man taking on
an entire team by himself.
Well, there were other
players on my team.
I was talking about Carter.
So you're a sportswriter now.
Why not?
Well, certain jobs are always
going to be done by men.
Big, strapping men? What else?
Auto mechanics, plumbers...
Motorcycles?
You want to drive?
Hop on, Mr Connelly.
I'll buy you a soda pop.
Worried about your reputation?
As a matter of fact, I am.
The trick is to hang on.
What will become of us, Dodge?
Ride off into the sunset?
Live happily ever after?
- Well, marriage.
- Of course.
- Kids, I suppose.
- Naturally.
I guess some sort of scandal.
- Taxes, maybe.
- Lose all our money.
The family home?
Then, after a brief turn in jail...
You'll like it there!
Not me, you.
Quickly followed by dementia.
What was your name, again?
- My friends call me Lexie.
- Fine.
You can call me Miss Littleton.
That'd be nice. Well, Miss Littleton...
You should be warned that the way
you're holding me now, you're choking me.