Letters To Daniel (2020) Movie Script
1
(calm music)
- [Amy Voiceover]
Dear Daniel Craig,
life did not always
look like this.
This marked a moment of triumph,
a way of crushing
an abysmal past,
and daring those with
a stereotypical view
of those with mental illness
to challenge me on any front.
To many, this was
just a documentary.
For me and Missy,
this was our lives.
(laughing)
- Ha ha, very funny. You
know I could use the help.
- Yeah, but it wouldn't
have been as funny though.
- Well that's that.
You both ready?
- You know once we get in that
car, there's no turning back.
This was your idea.
- Maybe, but you weren't
the one who went running
and jumping into the deep end
of the pool without looking.
- The way I have, would
there be any other way?
(somber music)
- I love you.
I know she thinks she's
got the world on a string.
But be careful.
- You know I will.
- I love you.
- I love you.
(somber music continues)
- [Amy Voiceover] I know
what you're thinking.
Now who is this, and
why is she so important?
Really, a buddy biopic
about two women? Who cares?
Didn't we see Romy
and Michele already?
This is not Romy and Michelle.
This is about me, Amy,
and my best friend, Missy,
and how we survived
my bipolar breakdowns.
That's right, two breakdowns,
and went on to fulfill
a lot of dreams that
at this time seemed
too far away to
even contemplate.
- We'll be commuting every
day into Austin for work.
It's gonna be really
hard on the car.
- But we came out
here to make contacts.
- At least we don't have
to get jobs right away.
- What are you talking about?
- What are you talking about?
- We're good until
the end of the month.
We don't need jobs until
the end of November.
- This is insane.
We can't do this.
I'm gonna call my dad
and have him come get us.
- No no no, don't panic.
I got it all figured out.
We can do groceries
for $20 a week,
five nights of spaghetti,
two nights of hot dogs.
It's okay.
- I don't know what if
the car breaks down?
- Public transportation.
- I don't know.
- We came down here to
make a name for ourselves.
So, you still want
that, don't you?
- Yeah, but not while
starving to death.
- We're not gonna starve to
death. I've done this before.
- Made a movie without
a pot to piss in?
- We've done the
bare essentials.
Besides my Aunt Rosie's
down here. We're okay.
- Are you sure?
- Positive.
- All right. Let's get unpacked,
But the first time that it
gets hard, I'm crying Uncle.
I can't believe I left
the headlights on.
- Let's just go ask someone
if they have jumper cables.
- Nobody's gonna
have jumper cables.
I'm pretty sure we're the
only ones that drove in.
- I'm gonna go ask someone
if they have jumper cables.
And if not, I'll
call a tow truck.
- I don't want to do that.
- It's hot. I'm tired.
We have an hour to drive.
What do you propose?
- Do whatever you want.
(tense music)
- Excuse me.
You happen to have
any jumper cables?
No, I jetted in. Did
anyone else drive?
Hi. Yes, I'm gonna
need a tow truck.
I think we are at,
yeah, the Ramada.
That one, yeah.
Okay, thank you. Thank you.
- Hey. I'm sorry.
I just felt stupid for
leaving the headlights on.
- I should've stuck around
and talked you down.
- Well, now that
we're both sorry,
we should probably
get back in the car.
- You would not believe the
attitude of people around here.
- Think again.
Remember what uncle Bert
says. We're amongst them.
- Yeah.
(calm music)
- Are you okay?
- I can't sleep.
I can't relax.
I don't feel right.
- When did you
finally drift off?
- An hour ago.
- Oh honey, you gotta
go get that checked out.
I'm worried about you.
- We still have to fill
out job applications.
- Yes, you should go today.
- [Amy Voiceover] Dear
Daniel, down in Texas,
Missy and I both had
our issues interfering
with how we function
daily in the beginning.
Hers are not mine to share,
as she's asked me not to.
But mine, we were
both soon to discover,
could bring even the
smartest of the smart,
and the strongest of the
strong to their knees.
- Go get cleaned up,
and we'll go out and
fill out applications.
- [Amy Voiceover]
Dear Daniel Craig,
sometimes the Devil has
a way of snaking its way
out of the past, and breaking
you the rest of the way down.
- Hey, Daddy?
Yeah, it's me.
- [Father] What you doing?
- Just working.
Missy and I are running
low on grocery money,
and we would really like
to have a Thanksgiving.
So, I was just wondering if you
could maybe send some money.
- [Father] No.
- Why not?
- [Father] You
shouldn't have moved
down there to begin with.
So, no. I'm not gonna
give you the money.
- What's wrong?
- I'm so hungry.
- Well, then eat something.
- Hey. Whoa, whoa, whoa.
I just got my money back
from my car settlement,
from my car accident.
How much money do you need?
- I can't do that.
- Please. I know what it's
like to be in your situation.
Let me help you, all right.
- Hey, are you okay?
What's going on?
- I called Jerry,
and he basically said
that he didn't care
if we were hungry.
He didn't care if we
had a Thanksgiving.
And he said, we should
have never moved down here.
- He's a jerk.
Shows what he knows.
- Just pay me back when you can.
There's no pressure, okay?
- I will as soon as I can.
- No pressure.
- [Amy Voiceover] It
wasn't just the hunger.
The rejection was too much.
The noise, the lights,
people's voices.
Even when I went home,
I couldn't turn it off.
I hadn't lost my mind,
but I could feel myself
losing my grip on my sanity.
It was as if I were hanging
on by my fingernails.
And roadsigns to Crazyville
we're getting closer and closer,
and I couldn't slow down.
And then finally, it happened.
I broke.
Some days, even when your
rock is less than perfect,
you find that the fire you're in
shows just how
great she really is.
- You need a friend, I am
here for you. I understand.
- Thank you.
I don't know what
you want me to do.
You cry all the time.
I try to comfort
you, but it's like
you want me to keep talking,
but you want me to shut up too?
- It's like my
skin is coming off.
And my thoughts,
they're racing so fast.
I can't keep up.
- I'm suffering too, you
know. You're not the only one.
- It's like my mind
is coming apart,
and I can't get it
to come together.
- It's like, you're down at
the bottom of this dark well.
And I've thrown a rope
down to you to pull you up.
But instead you've just yanked
me down in there with you.
Maybe we should just go home.
- No. You wanted to come
here, and I bought into it.
To go home would be
to admit failure.
- What are we
supposed to do, Amy?
We're living on $15 worth
of groceries a week.
The head gasket is
blown in the car.
We're walking everywhere we go.
We have no internet.
And we can't even afford
pen and paper to write with.
- I'm trying. I
am trying so hard.
You want me to take you
down to Bill Millers,
and show you the
conditions I work in.
It triggers this. It triggers
everything, whatever this is.
- Don't take whatever
this is out on me.
I didn't do anything.
- You talked me
into coming here,
and now you're gonna run
back to mommy and daddy.
- [Missy] You know,
that's the first thing
you accuse me of
every time we argue.
- I'm such a lousy friend.
Why do you stick around?
- 'Cause people argue Amy.
But if you think there's
seriously something wrong with
you,
you've got to go
get it checked out.
Now, you have got to go to work.
So go get cleaned up, get
dressed, and get to the via.
- So now you're
telling you what to do.
Sit and spin.
- [Amy Voiceover] In retrospect,
I was horrible to deal with.
Missy was human at times,
but that just proves how
great she was, and still is.
- You should have seen
us on the way down here.
We couldn't even see
out of the back window.
- Now, what on Earth made you
come all the way out here?
- We wanted to make a movie,
but we couldn't
afford to move to LA.
And Amy bought passes to the
Austin City Film Festival.
We couldn't get a refund.
- Sound homesick.
- Yeah, I am. I miss my dad.
My parents weren't
too jazzed about
us moving so far away from home.
- Yeah, and I suppose the stress
of needing money for food,
so you can have a simple
Thanksgiving meal seems like a
lot.
- I think it's more
than just that.
Amy's been having a
really hard time lately.
She goes on these crying jags.
She explodes without warning.
She's so angry and so
paranoid these days.
She's not the happy Amy that
I remember from Kentucky.
- I have a lot of people
like Amy in my family.
Good hearted, compassionate,
even talented people,
sometimes aren't at their best.
- I think it's more than just
Amy not being at her best.
I think something's
really wrong.
- I mean, do you have anyone
down here that can help?
- Just her Aunt Rosie.
- Now you have me too.
(erratic high pitched music)
- [Amy Voiceover]
The Wolf had arrived.
- Amy.
- Missy.
- Oh, honey. It's okay.
It's gonna be okay.
No, it's okay.
Honey.
- You said the car was useless.
- Oh, you gotta do what you
gotta do. I drove it anyway.
- What if it breaks down?
- We'll just call Aunt Rosie.
(Amy crying)
- [Amy Voiceover] To call
the mental health system
broken in Texas is redundant.
But I had reached
maximum overload.
I was consumed with blind rage.
I wasn't going to hurt myself.
I wasn't gonna hurt
Missy, or anyone else.
But the pain, I needed
the pain to stop.
- [Nurse] Amy McCorkle?
- So, why are you here tonight?
- I need help.
I feel like my skin
is going to come off.
- [Amy Voiceover] I was lonely.
I was jittery. I was terrified.
I hadn't lost my mind, but
I desperately wanted help.
- What's your family history?
- My sister had a
bipolar disorder.
My cousin and her nephew,
my grandfather, we all
struggle from mental illness.
- How do you feel now?
- Numb.
- Any anger or rage?
- Yeah, earlier. I've been on
these eight hour crying jags.
- Do you feel like you're
gonna hurt yourself or others?
- No.
- Any abuse of prescription
pills or narcotics?
- No.
- Any alcohol abuse?
- No.
My biological dad had a PTSD
disorder. He abused alcohol.
- Any sexual activity?
- No. Can you just
make this pain stop?
- It's gonna be okay.
- She thinks you're manic
depressive. I however, do not.
I think this is something
you've been obsessing on.
I believe that it's
all in your head.
- [Amy Voiceover] This
is not the correct way
to speak to a mental
health patient.
- So what I want you
to do now is calm down,
and move on.
(calm music)
- You're not okay, are you?
- No.
- You want me to find
somewhere else to go?
- A head gasket?
- We do what we have to do.
- I can't do this anymore.
I'm losing it.
Look how I'm treating you,
how I'm treating myself.
- If you need to
go now, let's go.
I know it's not ideal,
but if we're gonna take a
serious go at coming down here,
then you probably should
let me take you tonight.
- I just wish you
didn't have to go.
- Yeah. Who's gonna
take care of us now?
Take us out for
Mexican pastries,
and cocoa at La
Padoses, or here?
- You'll manage.
You girls will
make it, I know it.
- Right now that feels
a million miles away.
- The Lord gave you both
a very special gift.
- Then how come I
haven't been able
to write squat for
the last few months?
- It's all in the timing, Amy.
You can't rush these things.
- Right now, I'm
working with people
that judge small children
with special needs.
- I told you, if you
went to dinner with them,
you would hate them.
- What can I say? They're jerks.
- You know what Dad says?
If you're not gonna listen,
you're gonna have to feel.
- As long as we can
put food on the table,
that's not spaghetti
and hot dogs,
and we can afford real cheese.
I mean, we're not
going hungry anymore.
- That's a good point.
- You know, Aunt
Rosie. I don't know.
I don't know where we'd
be it it wasn't for you.
- I would never let
my nieces go hungry.
- You consider me your niece?
- You have been such
a support for Amy,
even going through
your own troubles.
Of course, I consider my niece.
I love you both very very much.
- You can't imagine
what that means to me.
- Well, maybe not, but
let's just enjoy our coffee
at this beautiful coffee house,
and smell Cocoa.
(desperate music)
- [Amy Voiceover] Dear Daniel,
I think it's fair to say this
was one of my darkest moments.
I had no idea who I
was, or where I was,
desperate for a light
to shine in the dark.
- Crap. You scared me.
What's wrong?
- [Amy] I know I'm supposed
to go to work today.
But I'm scared.
I know you're name, but
I don't know my name.
Will you call in for me, please?
- It's okay. I'll call.
- [Amy Voiceover] Missy
was my rock. She still is.
When my family
fails to understand
exactly what we went through
in Texas, they get jealous.
But the fear and the
pain of disorientation
because of the anxiety and
mania was difficult to explain.
When they're derisive and call
her Saint Missy it angers me,
because as you can plainly see,
she went through a lot with me.
(contemplative music)
I didn't know whether to
be scared or relieved.
I was alone.
Missy had to work, so
this had been the only way
to return and get
a proper diagnosis.
I was scared.
What if I was sent
running in circles again?
What if the Texas mental health
system failed me miserably?
In truth, it already had.
But I held out hope that
this time would be different.
(indistinct)
- Go ahead and have a seat.
We'll get you something.
(calm music)
- Amy?
- Yeah.
- You can follow me.
- Took a lot bravery and
courage to come here.
We're gonna get you some help.
It's gonna be okay.
We do have a diagnosis.
You have rapid cycling
manic depression.
It's gonna be okay.
You're not a freak.
And help us here for you.
- I'll take it as it comes.
- [Doctor] I want
you to take this,
once a day for three days,
then I want you
to add the Zoloft.
- Yes sir.
- [Doctor] You're gonna be okay.
Coming here was the first step.
(calm music)
- [Missy] What are
you doing here?
- I know you and Amy
have been struggling.
So, I figured I help
out a little bit more.
Is she here?
- [Missy] No, she's
at the doctors.
- I thought you guys
were having car troubles.
- [Missy] She took the bus.
Come on in. Glad to see you.
- Is Amy sick?
- Yeah. But it's
not what you think.
- Is everything okay?
- No. No, it's not okay.
We came down here
with not enough money.
We're hungry every day.
And Amy,
Amy's falling apart.
She's really sick, Patrick.
She's at a
psychiatrist's office.
If they can't help her, I
don't know what we're gonna do.
- Hey, hey.
It'll be okay now.
- [Amy] We look like
Cindy Lou Who's house
after the Grinch was there.
- [Missy] Whatever. At least
we have a place to live.
We have a Christmas tree.
We have Christmas presents.
We have each other.
And tomorrow night we're
gonna have a Christmas dinner.
- I wanted a bigger Christmas
tree, six feet tall,
icicles, cheap tacky ornaments.
- You have a two foot
version of that now.
- I want friends
to celebrate with.
- You have me,
- I know.
And as bad as I feel,
without you I'd be miserable.
- Who are you kidding?
You're already miserable.
- [Amy Voiceover]
Miserable wasn't the word
for how I was feeling.
I felt like I was in
traction, and someone
had thrown me down in
that deep dark well again.
Only this time, there
was no light at all.
And there was no escape.
- You know what would
make me feel better?
Presents.
- It's Christmas Eve.
We don't open Christmas.
We don't open the Christmas
presents until Christmas day.
- Please.
- [Amy Voiceover] But Daniel,
in this darkness that
was consuming me,
this act was the biggest
mistake in the world.
Everything was
from Mom and John.
As grateful as we were,
there was the overwhelming
depression for me
that I had nothing
to give to Missy.
After all she had done for me,
in standing by me as a friend
when most normal
people would have run,
I had nothing to
celebrate her with.
- Merry Christmas.
- I was afraid of that.
Look, I mean they paid
for our rent this month.
They could have
done nothing at all.
- Yeah I know. I can't help it.
(knocking on door)
- That'll be 12.56.
- [Amy] 12.56, plus tip.
It's all there. Merry Christmas.
- Well, you got your
Christmas tradition.
- You know,
I'm really gonna miss you guys.
- We're really
gonna miss you too.
- You should just
go ahead and kiss.
On the lips.
(chuckles)
- Want to know what?
Amy's right.
I didn't want to
say anything, but
I really, really wish you
weren't moving back to Kentucky.
- I can't do it alone,
with just my paycheck.
And Amy can't seem
to hold down a job.
- Hey.
- It's not a criticism. It's
just a statement of fact.
And you're not exactly
Daddy Warbucks.
So we have to go
where the help is.
- Well, I guess another
time and another place, huh?
- You know, there is
such thing as a phone.
And you could move closer to us.
- You know, Missy.
There's gonna come a time
where you gonna need
me more than ever.
And when that time does come,
I'm gonna be here for you.
- I'm gonna hold you to that.
- All right.
- I don't want to talk about it.
- [Missy] But this
was your idea.
I said I was willing to stay.
- I need help. I need money.
I can't hold a job down.
The job that I had fired me.
This is defeat.
- [Missy] Watch your mouth.
- I'm trying to be respectful.
He came down here and got
us when my parents couldn't.
Your parents got us an
apartment. They furnished it.
They put groceries
in the fridge.
I can't help but think
this last year was in vain.
No movie, no contacts.
Everyone that wanted us to
fail got what they wanted.
- You can't think that way.
- [Amy] How am I
supposed to think?
- Like you're gonna
get the help you need.
Like you're finally gonna
have people who understand.
- But they don't, Missy.
If they did, they would
be here, not your dad.
- Cut them some slack, honey.
They tried to visit us
in their Summer vacation.
- [Amy] Maybe.
- The money just wasn't there.
- At least we'll
have our own place.
- Yeah, thanks to
my mom and dad.
- [Amy] Yeah. I appreciate that.
I couldn't bear to
go back to my house.
It was so tense last time.
- I mean, that's to be expected.
He was there. You were
there, four cats, me.
It was a complete zoo.
- Maybe it'll be good to go home
for a few days and be with mom.
She can help me get the services
I need, whatever I need.
- It's gonna be
okay, Amy. I promise.
- Ready to ride?
- Yeah.
(somber music)
- In a few days, I'll be
connected to everything.
It wasn't an epic
failure, was it?
- It was epic. But it wasn't
even close to a failure, honey.
- Call you tomorrow?
- [Sister] What is
she even doing here?
I didn't think she was
coming home from Texas.
Like, what's wrong
with her anyway?
- I have a mental illness.
Thanks for the sympathy, Sis.
- I don't have time for
this. I'm going to bed.q
- Why? 'Cause I make
you uncomfortable?
Get in line, and take a number.
- [Mother] Amy.
- I just drove 20
hours from Texas,
people judging
me, looking at me,
people I know,
people I work with.
I'm not taking it from her.
- She's your sister, Amy.
She's your flesh and blood.
- I don't regret
moving to Texas.
I didn't want to move back here.
- Come here.
Come here.
Close your eyes and go to sleep.
Support gave me some
numbers to call tomorrow.
Sleep as late as you need to.
We'll get this figured out.
- I don't understand
when she comes over here,
why all she does is sleep.
I love her dearly, but
that's wasting a day.
And I hate saying this,
but she just seems so lazy.
- Mom.
She's sick.
She's depressed, and depressed
people sleep sometimes.
- Sick?
No, being sick is
like having a fever,
or throwing up,
or having a cold.
She looks pretty healthy to me.
- Mama.
She has a chemical imbalance
that makes her feel this way.
She's just as sick as
say, you having diabetes.
- You know, I just
don't understand it.
- [Amy Voiceover] Dear Daniel,
My Mamaw was a God fearing,
and God loving woman,
whose faith was the strongest
thing I'd ever seen.
It always made me sad to
hear her talk that way.
I knew it was just ignorance.
I knew that she was just
a product of her time.
But I had a choice.
I usually stayed there
while Missy worked
at a nearby elementary school,
because I couldn't
handle being alone.
As ignorant as my
Mamaw could be,
she was also the kind of woman
that if you put a face on it,
she'd eventually
opened her mind to it.
(calm music)
- Oh, wow.
Oh, this is awesome.
- This is awesome, yes.
- It's our new place.
- [Amy Voiceover] Dear Daniel,
to say those first few months
back in Kentucky weren't easy
is something of
an understatement.
We handle things
much better now,
but I think that's in
part because we don't have
the pressure of being broke
looming over us constantly,
along with the
worst of the illness
having us in its vice-like grip.
- You're not the only one who
made sacrifices down there.
- You weren't the
only one? I was fired.
You weren't fired for
the same reasons I was.
You were the pet employee.
In fact, you stayed on.
- What was I supposed to do?
We had to pay
rent. We had bills.
- I don't know, show some
loyalty, walk out in solidarity.
Instead you let their
treatment of me be justified.
- You're being unreasonable.
- I'm not being unreasonable.
- Yes you are.
And keep your voice
down, you're yelling.
- I'm not yelling.
- [Amy Voiceover]
Indeed, I was yelling.
- You need to calm down, Amy.
- How's that gonna help?
We went to Texas
to make a movie.
We cast three people,
and it falls apart.
How is that a success?
- You're looking at
it the wrong way.
- The wrong way?
Are all the other people wrong?
Are the people that were
rooting against us wrong?
Jerry, Myra, the others
too, are they wrong?
- You need to stop yelling.
(metal banging to the ground)
- I'm so sorry.
I'm, I'm so sorry,
Missy. Oh my God.
- It's okay, Amy.
- Did I break something
of yours? Or is that mine?
- No, you didn't.
Come, we got to get
this cleaned up.
- [Amy Voiceover] I know I
call you my hero, Daniel,
and that my family
wants equal billing.
But they haven't
got the first clue
as to how much Missy
went through with me.
If anyone has earned the
right to be called my hero,
it's Missy.
Mamaw always loved the
fact I wrote stories.
- You know, Josephine
wrote stories,
good ones, just like you do.
- Thanks, Mamaw.
- But what I don't understand
is why you come over
here and sleep all day.
- It's part of the disease.
I just don't like being
alone. It's overwhelming.
- You know, your Papaw Grizwall
had something like that.
But you know what? He got
saved, and it cured the problem.
Maybe you don't need meds.
Maybe you just need saved.
- [Amy Voiceover] I often
kept my faith to myself.
I believed in the sense
of a higher power,
the Universe as in a capital U.
But Mamaw, as strong
as her faith was,
came attached to Christianity.
- Trust me, Mamaw.
I need my meds.
Trust me. It was worse.
It was so much worse.
- You know what? James was
such a good strong man.
I see so much of him in you.
- I love you too, Mamaw.
- Just keep writing, Amy.
- Would you read
anything that I write?
- Is there any
black writing in it?
- What's that?
- Any cursing or
premarital sex stuff?
- Then you probably would not
read anything that I write.
- No, probably not.
- Not even tell your friends
that your granddaughter's
an author?
- Maybe. I'd have
to think about that.
But maybe you can write
something without that stuff in
it.
- Maybe.
- [Amy Voiceover]
God rest her soul.
She was always
trying to save mine.
Sincerely, Amy McCorkle.
- Quit being paranoid.
- [Amy Voiceover]
Dear Daniel, I was.
- [Amy] I'm not, I just.
I like things done right.
And I want them right now.
- Amy, you know
you're my friend.
I love you more than a sister.
But I told you that you're
gonna make a mistake
if you rush into production.
- Then what was the point
of the auditions today?
- [Missy] I tried to
tell you not to do it
before we had our ducks in
a row, but you went ahead.
- [Amy Voiceover]
This is something
that hasn't really
changed over the years.
I still make her
crazy with this.
We just handle it a whole
hell of a lot better.
- You told me? What
am I, your child?
If we moved at your pace, we
wouldn't get anything done.
- You know, if you weren't
determined to act like a child,
going and running
and jumping into
the end of the swimming pool,
without knowing if
there's water in it,
I wouldn't have to
act like a parent.
I don't want to be your
mother. I want to be pleasant.
- You want to control
a lot of my life,
what I eat, where
I go, my projects.
You know, we don't
write like we used to.
- Amy we're friends. We don't
have to write to be friends.
- Writing is what our
friendship is about.
Without that, what do we have?
- [Amy Voiceover] I would come
to learn those were the words
that hurt her the most
up until that point.
- Screw you, Amy.
I've been through a
lot of shit with you,
stuff that lesser
and better people
would not have stuck around for.
For you to say something like
that to me, that just hurts.
- Get off the cross,
someone needs the wood.
- You know, for somebody who
wants to be shown sensitivity
for them and their issues,
you can act like a real witch.
- You sound just like
my dad. Take a number.
- You can't admit
when you're wrong.
The entire time I've known you,
you've never admitted
when you were wrong.
- Yes I do, I say I'm
sorry and I'm wrong
all the time just to please you.
- Now who's on the cross?
- I'm just saying it like it is.
- Get over yourself, Amy.
- [Amy Voiceover]
What I said next
was terrible, awful,
and inexcusable.
It was not the first
time I'd said it,
but it was the last time
I uttered such ugly words.
- If you don't shut
up, I'm gonna kill you.
I'm so sorry, Missy.
Oh my God, don't hate
me. I'm so sorry.
- Amy, you know I love you.
Because if anybody else
talked to me like that,
I'd beat their ass.
- Love you too.
- More than your luggage?
- More than my luggage.
Sigh to rinse away that
terrible Christmas from Texas.
- All right.
I didn't have much to get
you, but I hope you like it.
- New York?
Together, right?
- Absolutely.
And this here is another one.
- Oh my God. A Jane
Austin action figure.
Where'd you find this?
- I went down to that Something
Better store in the mall
looking for a Gladiator Sandy,
but they didn't have one.
They had this,
William Shakespeare,
and some other author
I can't remember.
All right. And one last one.
- Oh my God. Where
did you find these?
- Big Lots.
- Freaking love Big Lots.
(calm music)
- Amy.
Amy, wake up.
They called Dad
into the hospital.
- Did they find a liver?
- Yeah, Mom and Dad
are on their way now.
I've got to go pick up
Shannon and Jessica,
and take them with me.
- Do you want me
to come with you?
- No, I don't have
time right now.
I'll call you when
I know something.
Just please make sure the brakes
get fixed in my car today, okay?
- Okay. Call me if there's
any new information.
- [Missy] I will.
- [Amy Voiceover]
Harold had always seemed
as strong as an ox to me,
and everyone around him.
Missy understood
how sick he was.
But I don't think I
fully appreciated it
until he was called
into the hospital.
- Hello?
- [Missy] He's in ICU.
- Is he okay?
- [Missy] He's stable
for the moment.
- Are you okay?
- [Missy] During the
surgery, I had to get up
and walk away from everyone
and calm myself down.
I felt like something
really bad was happening.
- You know, I had a feeling
of calm come over me.
Things are gonna be okay.
- [Missy] I wish
you could see him.
I'm not used to seeing
my dad like that.
- [Amy Voiceover] We lived
on very little money.
Getting the brakes
done was a necessity.
It was supposed to cost $99.
And when you're in the
middle of a crisis,
it's like the universe
says, let's pile it on.
- Hey, can you hold on? I
have to pay for the brakes.
- [Missy] Okay.
- Excuse me.
- Yes.
- How much?
- Ah, your rotors were
bad. It's gonna be 291.
- Missy, they said the
brakes are gonna be $291.
- [Missy] How much do we have?
- 292.
(Missy groan cries)
- [Amy Voiceover] I could hear
the weariness in her voice,
the ache in her tone.
This wasn't something
she needed right now.
She needed to focus on
her father, on her family,
on being together and
taking care of one another.
- Pay it. We'll figure
out everything else later.
- You sure?
- [Missy] It's the brakes. Can't
really cut corners on that.
- Okay. I'll talk to you later.
- [Amy Voiceover]
Missy's mom and dad
gave her the money
to get us through.
It was one of the
last things he did.
Sincerely, Amy McCorkle.
(knocking on door)
- [John] Amy! Wake up!
(knocking repeats)
Amy, it's your dad.
- [Amy Voiceover] Dear Daniel,
allow me to clarify here
that John is my stepdad.
But he's raised me from three
years of age. He's a good man.
- Missy called. I
think her dad died.
- Why didn't anybody call me?
- You didn't answer.
- [Amy Voiceover] In the time
of my friend's greatest need,
I'd been lulled to
sleep by Ambien.
Trust me. After that,
I stopped taking it.
Missing out on my friend's
SOS wasn't worth another pill.
- [Amy] Missy?
- [Missy] Yeah?
- [Amy] Did you try to call?
- [Missy] Yeah.
Dad died, Amy.
- [Amy] I know, Sweetie.
- [Amy Voiceover] No worries.
The Wolf was on her way.
Dear Daniel,
I wish I could say
death was easy for me,
that I can handle the messy
emotions that come with it
with the grace and aplomb
that others around me have.
But on the morning
of Harold's funeral,
I found myself reeling,
and coping with the fact
that the surgeons with Coda
had treated Missy's
family as an afterthought,
had grown frustrated
with the difficulty
of the course of
Harold's treatment,
and that they
handled him roughly.
It angered and saddened
me that he was gone.
I knew that he liked me,
because he'd given me
the nickname of Amis.
He'd been gone less than a
week, and I missed him already.
No more University of Kentucky
Football or Basketball games.
No more cookouts, no more
visits where I could talk,
and he wouldn't listen.
- Have you seen him yet?
- They're still
getting him ready.
I didn't think I should be
the first one to see him.
I thought you and your mom
and your sisters should.
- Will you go with me?
- Of course.
- [Amy Voiceover] But as
hard for me as death is,
and as sad as I was
over the loss of Harold,
nothing compared
to the devastation
I saw in my best friend's face,
and the grief in her
mother's and sister's eyes.
(somber music)
It wasn't his face that
didn't look right to me,
but his body that was all wrong.
But after several surgeries,
multiple procedures,
and daily dialysis,
it wasn't a surprise to me.
But I understood this
wasn't my father.
His death hadn't blindsided me.
My hope hadn't
been robbed of me,
and snuffed out so
coldly and callously.
Missy had the right to
be angry and grieving.
She had, and still does
have, the right to feel
any way she wants to about
the loss of her father.
- [Missy] Pam.
- I didn't know him.
But you're my friend,
and I felt like I needed
to pay my respects.
- Thank you, Pam.
You don't know how
much that means.
- In this grief, you find out
who your real friends are,
the ones who find
the time to come,
and at least pay their respects,
even when showing vulnerability
isn't in their comfort zone.
Pam is in the inner
circle for a reason.
(somber music continues)
Missy was, and still is,
a nurturer, a caretaker.
I and many others have been
the benefactor of that.
I know it doesn't seem like it,
but that street goes
both ways for us.
- Honey, why don't you
go to lunch with Pam?
- And leave before the
funeral? How tacky is that?
You need me to be
strong for you.
And I know when my parents pass,
I want you to be strong for me.
I don't want you going off
having lunch with another
friend.
- You're having a panic
attack right now, right?
- Yes.
- Focus on taking
care of yourself.
That's what you can
do for me right now.
(somber music continues)
- [Amy Voiceover] Dear Daniel,
even God rested on
the seventh day.
With Missy, in the wake
of her father's death,
everyone had been leaning on
her, even me to some degree.
Well, the crap was about to
hit the fan in a very big way.
- How's your day?
- You should know. You
blew my phone up all day.
- [Amy] Did not.
- You want me to show
you where you did it?
- No, but I can only do so
much writing and promoting.
- You could volunteer.
We've talked about that.
- I don't have a car.
- That's a cop out. I told
you we'd figure it out.
- You can't help me.
I don't have a golden
ticket to mom and dad.
- Are we feeling a little bit
sorry for ourselves today?
How was your day?
- Apparently, I
blew up your phone.
- Amy, I can't do
this right now.
- Fine.
I wrote, promoted, and
watched some television.
- And blew up my phone.
- [Amy] Screw you.
- [Amy Voiceover]
I should have been
paying attention to
what she was doing.
Harold had died the day
before Christmas Eve.
What a crap deal.
Missy deserves to have a
dad seeing her succeed now.
I digress.
I should have been paying
attention to what she was doing.
She had yet to express
her grief in an all out,
ball out, get the
out of my way vent.
Boy, did I know how
to push that button.
Especially that night,
without saying a word.
You know that moment
when you realize
you've messed up big time?
Not enough to evoke
a volcanic eruption,
but enough so that if there
are other things going on,
there's going to be
a volcanic eruption?
There's that flight or fight
that's supposed to kick in.
Well, I wasn't smart
enough to heed that.
- What the hell, Amy?
- What?
- Did you call Canada?
How long did you talk to her?
- [Amy] Only 15
minutes, I don't know.
- Try 40 minutes!
- Sorry, I thought
it was shorter.
- You have to be kidding me.
There is a big difference
between 10 and 40.
I told you not to make
international calls!
- It's at this point, I
realize Missy is about
to lose her mind
for a little bit,
and there's not a single
thing I can do about it.
So I get still,
and get very quiet.
- Money.
Do you think I told you not
to make international calls-
- [Amy Voiceover] She
is getting wound up.
And there's nothing
I can say or do.
Although I have the worst habit.
When I'm nervous or
uncomfortable, I smile
involuntarily,
which made matters
much, much worse.
- You think this is funny?
- [Amy] No.
- I don't need this.
You pay this bill.
I already take care
of everyone around me,
my mom, my sisters.
I take care of you. And
I do it all by myself.
I need help.
- I'm sorry.
- Sorry?
You're sorry?
Sorry doesn't cut it.
(tense music)
- Can I come in?
- Yeah.
- Sorry.
- I know. I just
really miss my dad.
And everybody wants to tell
me how much they miss him.
Well, I miss him too.
- I know, Sweetie.
- Just do me a favor.
No more calls to Canada.
- Okay.
- Don't take this the wrong
way, but I'm really glad
that we have Patrick
in our lives again.
- Hey, you got me.
- Don't make me punch
you in your face.
(calm music)
- [Amy Voiceover] Dear Daniel,
there's something
that happens to you.
When the labor of love is
validated and rewarded.
In February of 2011,
I received my first
publication contract for
"Another Way to Die",
My James Bond meets "The
Girl with the Dragon Tattoo"
mashup, romantic thriller.
- Oh my God. Oh my God, Missy.
He's accepted
"Another Way to Die".
I'm gonna be a published author.
- Congratulations.
- I know I've goon loo loo
and all, but that's okay.
- I mean, it's somebody
besides your family
telling you it's
worthy of publication.
That's a good thing.
(Amy squeals)
- Oh, no no. Don't make
me punch you in the face.
- Missy is a private person.
She's a warm person, but
she's not much on getting
hypomanic kisses from her
out of control best friend.
Validation.
I wept for joy, for
relief, for every time life
had kicked me in the
gut and left me to die.
Dear Daniel, it had been
a year since Missy and I
had made the financial decision
to each move back
in with our parents.
It enabled us to
attend more events,
conventions, book signings,
that sort of thing.
But it had been a week since
the Fright Night Film Festival,
and we were still in
the dark about whether
our screenplay had won,
lost, or was sitting
in a dusty bin somewhere
forgotten for all times.
- Stay calm, Amy.
I mean,
everything with the book launch.
It was one of the best
times of our lives.
- I know. Meeting Grant Wilson
and Adrian Paul was awesome,
selling all those books.
And at least me and Tim
have a cool story to share.
- And you sold 34 books.
- That too. And I
graduated therapy.
- That's the most
important thing.
- It's the thing
I'm most proud of.
We've come a long
way since those girls
who struck it out
for Texas, huh?
- I'm proud of you, Amy.
- Let's check it just
one last time, okay.
- [Amy Voiceover] I
couldn't contain the joy
that was exploding from within.
How long had we worked?
How long have we scraped
by and struggled?
- Yes.
- [Amy Voiceover] No,
this wasn't an Oscar.
And the organization
of the award ceremony
was less than ideal,
as it had been canceled
due to the death
of its organizers.
But there it was, a win.
- Don't cry, Amy.
- [Amy Voiceover] An
honest to goodness win.
- This is a good thing.
It's a good thing.
- No trophy?
- [Missy] Just take the
win, and go with it.
- [Mother] I agree.
(uplifting music)
- [Missy] I'm
really proud of you.
- I'm proud of us.
We finally got one.
- [Missy] Knowing you,
you'll have us entered
into a million different
contests by this time next year.
And you'll have a
trophy, plus more.
- [Amy Voiceover] Man, Daniel,
you need to know this
script, this book.
I can trace directly back
to your working
cowboys and aliens.
It reignited everything I loved
about science
fiction and westerns.
As a teenager, my favorite
authors were Vonnegut,
Bradbury, Sue Grafton,
Madeline L'Engle, and more.
Your work put me in touch
with my storytelling roots,
and for that always be grateful.
- Yeah, I guess I better take
my meds, and go to bed too.
- [Missy] Award
winning screenwriters.
- Overnight.
- [Amy Voiceover] So much more
was to come, so much more.
Dear Daniel Craig,
bipolar disorder, and those
that saw it as contagious
sought to pull me under, snap
me in half, break me down.
Even those well
intentioned do getters
who see therapy and
medication as bad and wrong,
who see mentally ill individuals
as hapless and hopeless.
They're wrong.
I found hope in your work,
a comrade in Missy, my rock
when no one else understood.
You two are my twin lights,
when this disease
threatened to take me down.
And treatment was
what got me through.
Thank you, Daniel, for
your talent and your work.
Thank you for everything.
- Runner up,
- Sincerely,
- "Letters to Daniel."
- Amy McCorkle.
(audience applauding)
Thinking that I have to be
somebody else oh no oh no
No more no more
I have loved everyone
and everything
But I guess I forgot this
little thing that's me that's me
But no more no more
So hold my hand God
'cause I am breaking free
I don't know when but
someday I'm gonna be
Exactly how you
intended me you'll see
Some day
Some day
When I look at this
rock I have to climb
I get the shivers I am
scared I won't deny oh no
No more
But I know that my friend
will still stay with me
Night and day I will make
it through to see all things
Someday
So hold my hand God
'cause I am breaking free
I don't when but
someday I'm gonna be
Exactly how you
intended me you'll see
Some day
Some day
I know when I take
the darkness into me
And find myself a
place of no return
You will be with me
I know even in
the darkest times
If you're the last to
hold my hand and shout
You will be here with me
Oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh oh
So hold my hand God
'cause I am breaking free
I don't when but
someday I'm gonna be
Exactly how you
intended me you'll see
Some day
Some day
You will see
(calm music)
- [Amy Voiceover]
Dear Daniel Craig,
life did not always
look like this.
This marked a moment of triumph,
a way of crushing
an abysmal past,
and daring those with
a stereotypical view
of those with mental illness
to challenge me on any front.
To many, this was
just a documentary.
For me and Missy,
this was our lives.
(laughing)
- Ha ha, very funny. You
know I could use the help.
- Yeah, but it wouldn't
have been as funny though.
- Well that's that.
You both ready?
- You know once we get in that
car, there's no turning back.
This was your idea.
- Maybe, but you weren't
the one who went running
and jumping into the deep end
of the pool without looking.
- The way I have, would
there be any other way?
(somber music)
- I love you.
I know she thinks she's
got the world on a string.
But be careful.
- You know I will.
- I love you.
- I love you.
(somber music continues)
- [Amy Voiceover] I know
what you're thinking.
Now who is this, and
why is she so important?
Really, a buddy biopic
about two women? Who cares?
Didn't we see Romy
and Michele already?
This is not Romy and Michelle.
This is about me, Amy,
and my best friend, Missy,
and how we survived
my bipolar breakdowns.
That's right, two breakdowns,
and went on to fulfill
a lot of dreams that
at this time seemed
too far away to
even contemplate.
- We'll be commuting every
day into Austin for work.
It's gonna be really
hard on the car.
- But we came out
here to make contacts.
- At least we don't have
to get jobs right away.
- What are you talking about?
- What are you talking about?
- We're good until
the end of the month.
We don't need jobs until
the end of November.
- This is insane.
We can't do this.
I'm gonna call my dad
and have him come get us.
- No no no, don't panic.
I got it all figured out.
We can do groceries
for $20 a week,
five nights of spaghetti,
two nights of hot dogs.
It's okay.
- I don't know what if
the car breaks down?
- Public transportation.
- I don't know.
- We came down here to
make a name for ourselves.
So, you still want
that, don't you?
- Yeah, but not while
starving to death.
- We're not gonna starve to
death. I've done this before.
- Made a movie without
a pot to piss in?
- We've done the
bare essentials.
Besides my Aunt Rosie's
down here. We're okay.
- Are you sure?
- Positive.
- All right. Let's get unpacked,
But the first time that it
gets hard, I'm crying Uncle.
I can't believe I left
the headlights on.
- Let's just go ask someone
if they have jumper cables.
- Nobody's gonna
have jumper cables.
I'm pretty sure we're the
only ones that drove in.
- I'm gonna go ask someone
if they have jumper cables.
And if not, I'll
call a tow truck.
- I don't want to do that.
- It's hot. I'm tired.
We have an hour to drive.
What do you propose?
- Do whatever you want.
(tense music)
- Excuse me.
You happen to have
any jumper cables?
No, I jetted in. Did
anyone else drive?
Hi. Yes, I'm gonna
need a tow truck.
I think we are at,
yeah, the Ramada.
That one, yeah.
Okay, thank you. Thank you.
- Hey. I'm sorry.
I just felt stupid for
leaving the headlights on.
- I should've stuck around
and talked you down.
- Well, now that
we're both sorry,
we should probably
get back in the car.
- You would not believe the
attitude of people around here.
- Think again.
Remember what uncle Bert
says. We're amongst them.
- Yeah.
(calm music)
- Are you okay?
- I can't sleep.
I can't relax.
I don't feel right.
- When did you
finally drift off?
- An hour ago.
- Oh honey, you gotta
go get that checked out.
I'm worried about you.
- We still have to fill
out job applications.
- Yes, you should go today.
- [Amy Voiceover] Dear
Daniel, down in Texas,
Missy and I both had
our issues interfering
with how we function
daily in the beginning.
Hers are not mine to share,
as she's asked me not to.
But mine, we were
both soon to discover,
could bring even the
smartest of the smart,
and the strongest of the
strong to their knees.
- Go get cleaned up,
and we'll go out and
fill out applications.
- [Amy Voiceover]
Dear Daniel Craig,
sometimes the Devil has
a way of snaking its way
out of the past, and breaking
you the rest of the way down.
- Hey, Daddy?
Yeah, it's me.
- [Father] What you doing?
- Just working.
Missy and I are running
low on grocery money,
and we would really like
to have a Thanksgiving.
So, I was just wondering if you
could maybe send some money.
- [Father] No.
- Why not?
- [Father] You
shouldn't have moved
down there to begin with.
So, no. I'm not gonna
give you the money.
- What's wrong?
- I'm so hungry.
- Well, then eat something.
- Hey. Whoa, whoa, whoa.
I just got my money back
from my car settlement,
from my car accident.
How much money do you need?
- I can't do that.
- Please. I know what it's
like to be in your situation.
Let me help you, all right.
- Hey, are you okay?
What's going on?
- I called Jerry,
and he basically said
that he didn't care
if we were hungry.
He didn't care if we
had a Thanksgiving.
And he said, we should
have never moved down here.
- He's a jerk.
Shows what he knows.
- Just pay me back when you can.
There's no pressure, okay?
- I will as soon as I can.
- No pressure.
- [Amy Voiceover] It
wasn't just the hunger.
The rejection was too much.
The noise, the lights,
people's voices.
Even when I went home,
I couldn't turn it off.
I hadn't lost my mind,
but I could feel myself
losing my grip on my sanity.
It was as if I were hanging
on by my fingernails.
And roadsigns to Crazyville
we're getting closer and closer,
and I couldn't slow down.
And then finally, it happened.
I broke.
Some days, even when your
rock is less than perfect,
you find that the fire you're in
shows just how
great she really is.
- You need a friend, I am
here for you. I understand.
- Thank you.
I don't know what
you want me to do.
You cry all the time.
I try to comfort
you, but it's like
you want me to keep talking,
but you want me to shut up too?
- It's like my
skin is coming off.
And my thoughts,
they're racing so fast.
I can't keep up.
- I'm suffering too, you
know. You're not the only one.
- It's like my mind
is coming apart,
and I can't get it
to come together.
- It's like, you're down at
the bottom of this dark well.
And I've thrown a rope
down to you to pull you up.
But instead you've just yanked
me down in there with you.
Maybe we should just go home.
- No. You wanted to come
here, and I bought into it.
To go home would be
to admit failure.
- What are we
supposed to do, Amy?
We're living on $15 worth
of groceries a week.
The head gasket is
blown in the car.
We're walking everywhere we go.
We have no internet.
And we can't even afford
pen and paper to write with.
- I'm trying. I
am trying so hard.
You want me to take you
down to Bill Millers,
and show you the
conditions I work in.
It triggers this. It triggers
everything, whatever this is.
- Don't take whatever
this is out on me.
I didn't do anything.
- You talked me
into coming here,
and now you're gonna run
back to mommy and daddy.
- [Missy] You know,
that's the first thing
you accuse me of
every time we argue.
- I'm such a lousy friend.
Why do you stick around?
- 'Cause people argue Amy.
But if you think there's
seriously something wrong with
you,
you've got to go
get it checked out.
Now, you have got to go to work.
So go get cleaned up, get
dressed, and get to the via.
- So now you're
telling you what to do.
Sit and spin.
- [Amy Voiceover] In retrospect,
I was horrible to deal with.
Missy was human at times,
but that just proves how
great she was, and still is.
- You should have seen
us on the way down here.
We couldn't even see
out of the back window.
- Now, what on Earth made you
come all the way out here?
- We wanted to make a movie,
but we couldn't
afford to move to LA.
And Amy bought passes to the
Austin City Film Festival.
We couldn't get a refund.
- Sound homesick.
- Yeah, I am. I miss my dad.
My parents weren't
too jazzed about
us moving so far away from home.
- Yeah, and I suppose the stress
of needing money for food,
so you can have a simple
Thanksgiving meal seems like a
lot.
- I think it's more
than just that.
Amy's been having a
really hard time lately.
She goes on these crying jags.
She explodes without warning.
She's so angry and so
paranoid these days.
She's not the happy Amy that
I remember from Kentucky.
- I have a lot of people
like Amy in my family.
Good hearted, compassionate,
even talented people,
sometimes aren't at their best.
- I think it's more than just
Amy not being at her best.
I think something's
really wrong.
- I mean, do you have anyone
down here that can help?
- Just her Aunt Rosie.
- Now you have me too.
(erratic high pitched music)
- [Amy Voiceover]
The Wolf had arrived.
- Amy.
- Missy.
- Oh, honey. It's okay.
It's gonna be okay.
No, it's okay.
Honey.
- You said the car was useless.
- Oh, you gotta do what you
gotta do. I drove it anyway.
- What if it breaks down?
- We'll just call Aunt Rosie.
(Amy crying)
- [Amy Voiceover] To call
the mental health system
broken in Texas is redundant.
But I had reached
maximum overload.
I was consumed with blind rage.
I wasn't going to hurt myself.
I wasn't gonna hurt
Missy, or anyone else.
But the pain, I needed
the pain to stop.
- [Nurse] Amy McCorkle?
- So, why are you here tonight?
- I need help.
I feel like my skin
is going to come off.
- [Amy Voiceover] I was lonely.
I was jittery. I was terrified.
I hadn't lost my mind, but
I desperately wanted help.
- What's your family history?
- My sister had a
bipolar disorder.
My cousin and her nephew,
my grandfather, we all
struggle from mental illness.
- How do you feel now?
- Numb.
- Any anger or rage?
- Yeah, earlier. I've been on
these eight hour crying jags.
- Do you feel like you're
gonna hurt yourself or others?
- No.
- Any abuse of prescription
pills or narcotics?
- No.
- Any alcohol abuse?
- No.
My biological dad had a PTSD
disorder. He abused alcohol.
- Any sexual activity?
- No. Can you just
make this pain stop?
- It's gonna be okay.
- She thinks you're manic
depressive. I however, do not.
I think this is something
you've been obsessing on.
I believe that it's
all in your head.
- [Amy Voiceover] This
is not the correct way
to speak to a mental
health patient.
- So what I want you
to do now is calm down,
and move on.
(calm music)
- You're not okay, are you?
- No.
- You want me to find
somewhere else to go?
- A head gasket?
- We do what we have to do.
- I can't do this anymore.
I'm losing it.
Look how I'm treating you,
how I'm treating myself.
- If you need to
go now, let's go.
I know it's not ideal,
but if we're gonna take a
serious go at coming down here,
then you probably should
let me take you tonight.
- I just wish you
didn't have to go.
- Yeah. Who's gonna
take care of us now?
Take us out for
Mexican pastries,
and cocoa at La
Padoses, or here?
- You'll manage.
You girls will
make it, I know it.
- Right now that feels
a million miles away.
- The Lord gave you both
a very special gift.
- Then how come I
haven't been able
to write squat for
the last few months?
- It's all in the timing, Amy.
You can't rush these things.
- Right now, I'm
working with people
that judge small children
with special needs.
- I told you, if you
went to dinner with them,
you would hate them.
- What can I say? They're jerks.
- You know what Dad says?
If you're not gonna listen,
you're gonna have to feel.
- As long as we can
put food on the table,
that's not spaghetti
and hot dogs,
and we can afford real cheese.
I mean, we're not
going hungry anymore.
- That's a good point.
- You know, Aunt
Rosie. I don't know.
I don't know where we'd
be it it wasn't for you.
- I would never let
my nieces go hungry.
- You consider me your niece?
- You have been such
a support for Amy,
even going through
your own troubles.
Of course, I consider my niece.
I love you both very very much.
- You can't imagine
what that means to me.
- Well, maybe not, but
let's just enjoy our coffee
at this beautiful coffee house,
and smell Cocoa.
(desperate music)
- [Amy Voiceover] Dear Daniel,
I think it's fair to say this
was one of my darkest moments.
I had no idea who I
was, or where I was,
desperate for a light
to shine in the dark.
- Crap. You scared me.
What's wrong?
- [Amy] I know I'm supposed
to go to work today.
But I'm scared.
I know you're name, but
I don't know my name.
Will you call in for me, please?
- It's okay. I'll call.
- [Amy Voiceover] Missy
was my rock. She still is.
When my family
fails to understand
exactly what we went through
in Texas, they get jealous.
But the fear and the
pain of disorientation
because of the anxiety and
mania was difficult to explain.
When they're derisive and call
her Saint Missy it angers me,
because as you can plainly see,
she went through a lot with me.
(contemplative music)
I didn't know whether to
be scared or relieved.
I was alone.
Missy had to work, so
this had been the only way
to return and get
a proper diagnosis.
I was scared.
What if I was sent
running in circles again?
What if the Texas mental health
system failed me miserably?
In truth, it already had.
But I held out hope that
this time would be different.
(indistinct)
- Go ahead and have a seat.
We'll get you something.
(calm music)
- Amy?
- Yeah.
- You can follow me.
- Took a lot bravery and
courage to come here.
We're gonna get you some help.
It's gonna be okay.
We do have a diagnosis.
You have rapid cycling
manic depression.
It's gonna be okay.
You're not a freak.
And help us here for you.
- I'll take it as it comes.
- [Doctor] I want
you to take this,
once a day for three days,
then I want you
to add the Zoloft.
- Yes sir.
- [Doctor] You're gonna be okay.
Coming here was the first step.
(calm music)
- [Missy] What are
you doing here?
- I know you and Amy
have been struggling.
So, I figured I help
out a little bit more.
Is she here?
- [Missy] No, she's
at the doctors.
- I thought you guys
were having car troubles.
- [Missy] She took the bus.
Come on in. Glad to see you.
- Is Amy sick?
- Yeah. But it's
not what you think.
- Is everything okay?
- No. No, it's not okay.
We came down here
with not enough money.
We're hungry every day.
And Amy,
Amy's falling apart.
She's really sick, Patrick.
She's at a
psychiatrist's office.
If they can't help her, I
don't know what we're gonna do.
- Hey, hey.
It'll be okay now.
- [Amy] We look like
Cindy Lou Who's house
after the Grinch was there.
- [Missy] Whatever. At least
we have a place to live.
We have a Christmas tree.
We have Christmas presents.
We have each other.
And tomorrow night we're
gonna have a Christmas dinner.
- I wanted a bigger Christmas
tree, six feet tall,
icicles, cheap tacky ornaments.
- You have a two foot
version of that now.
- I want friends
to celebrate with.
- You have me,
- I know.
And as bad as I feel,
without you I'd be miserable.
- Who are you kidding?
You're already miserable.
- [Amy Voiceover]
Miserable wasn't the word
for how I was feeling.
I felt like I was in
traction, and someone
had thrown me down in
that deep dark well again.
Only this time, there
was no light at all.
And there was no escape.
- You know what would
make me feel better?
Presents.
- It's Christmas Eve.
We don't open Christmas.
We don't open the Christmas
presents until Christmas day.
- Please.
- [Amy Voiceover] But Daniel,
in this darkness that
was consuming me,
this act was the biggest
mistake in the world.
Everything was
from Mom and John.
As grateful as we were,
there was the overwhelming
depression for me
that I had nothing
to give to Missy.
After all she had done for me,
in standing by me as a friend
when most normal
people would have run,
I had nothing to
celebrate her with.
- Merry Christmas.
- I was afraid of that.
Look, I mean they paid
for our rent this month.
They could have
done nothing at all.
- Yeah I know. I can't help it.
(knocking on door)
- That'll be 12.56.
- [Amy] 12.56, plus tip.
It's all there. Merry Christmas.
- Well, you got your
Christmas tradition.
- You know,
I'm really gonna miss you guys.
- We're really
gonna miss you too.
- You should just
go ahead and kiss.
On the lips.
(chuckles)
- Want to know what?
Amy's right.
I didn't want to
say anything, but
I really, really wish you
weren't moving back to Kentucky.
- I can't do it alone,
with just my paycheck.
And Amy can't seem
to hold down a job.
- Hey.
- It's not a criticism. It's
just a statement of fact.
And you're not exactly
Daddy Warbucks.
So we have to go
where the help is.
- Well, I guess another
time and another place, huh?
- You know, there is
such thing as a phone.
And you could move closer to us.
- You know, Missy.
There's gonna come a time
where you gonna need
me more than ever.
And when that time does come,
I'm gonna be here for you.
- I'm gonna hold you to that.
- All right.
- I don't want to talk about it.
- [Missy] But this
was your idea.
I said I was willing to stay.
- I need help. I need money.
I can't hold a job down.
The job that I had fired me.
This is defeat.
- [Missy] Watch your mouth.
- I'm trying to be respectful.
He came down here and got
us when my parents couldn't.
Your parents got us an
apartment. They furnished it.
They put groceries
in the fridge.
I can't help but think
this last year was in vain.
No movie, no contacts.
Everyone that wanted us to
fail got what they wanted.
- You can't think that way.
- [Amy] How am I
supposed to think?
- Like you're gonna
get the help you need.
Like you're finally gonna
have people who understand.
- But they don't, Missy.
If they did, they would
be here, not your dad.
- Cut them some slack, honey.
They tried to visit us
in their Summer vacation.
- [Amy] Maybe.
- The money just wasn't there.
- At least we'll
have our own place.
- Yeah, thanks to
my mom and dad.
- [Amy] Yeah. I appreciate that.
I couldn't bear to
go back to my house.
It was so tense last time.
- I mean, that's to be expected.
He was there. You were
there, four cats, me.
It was a complete zoo.
- Maybe it'll be good to go home
for a few days and be with mom.
She can help me get the services
I need, whatever I need.
- It's gonna be
okay, Amy. I promise.
- Ready to ride?
- Yeah.
(somber music)
- In a few days, I'll be
connected to everything.
It wasn't an epic
failure, was it?
- It was epic. But it wasn't
even close to a failure, honey.
- Call you tomorrow?
- [Sister] What is
she even doing here?
I didn't think she was
coming home from Texas.
Like, what's wrong
with her anyway?
- I have a mental illness.
Thanks for the sympathy, Sis.
- I don't have time for
this. I'm going to bed.q
- Why? 'Cause I make
you uncomfortable?
Get in line, and take a number.
- [Mother] Amy.
- I just drove 20
hours from Texas,
people judging
me, looking at me,
people I know,
people I work with.
I'm not taking it from her.
- She's your sister, Amy.
She's your flesh and blood.
- I don't regret
moving to Texas.
I didn't want to move back here.
- Come here.
Come here.
Close your eyes and go to sleep.
Support gave me some
numbers to call tomorrow.
Sleep as late as you need to.
We'll get this figured out.
- I don't understand
when she comes over here,
why all she does is sleep.
I love her dearly, but
that's wasting a day.
And I hate saying this,
but she just seems so lazy.
- Mom.
She's sick.
She's depressed, and depressed
people sleep sometimes.
- Sick?
No, being sick is
like having a fever,
or throwing up,
or having a cold.
She looks pretty healthy to me.
- Mama.
She has a chemical imbalance
that makes her feel this way.
She's just as sick as
say, you having diabetes.
- You know, I just
don't understand it.
- [Amy Voiceover] Dear Daniel,
My Mamaw was a God fearing,
and God loving woman,
whose faith was the strongest
thing I'd ever seen.
It always made me sad to
hear her talk that way.
I knew it was just ignorance.
I knew that she was just
a product of her time.
But I had a choice.
I usually stayed there
while Missy worked
at a nearby elementary school,
because I couldn't
handle being alone.
As ignorant as my
Mamaw could be,
she was also the kind of woman
that if you put a face on it,
she'd eventually
opened her mind to it.
(calm music)
- Oh, wow.
Oh, this is awesome.
- This is awesome, yes.
- It's our new place.
- [Amy Voiceover] Dear Daniel,
to say those first few months
back in Kentucky weren't easy
is something of
an understatement.
We handle things
much better now,
but I think that's in
part because we don't have
the pressure of being broke
looming over us constantly,
along with the
worst of the illness
having us in its vice-like grip.
- You're not the only one who
made sacrifices down there.
- You weren't the
only one? I was fired.
You weren't fired for
the same reasons I was.
You were the pet employee.
In fact, you stayed on.
- What was I supposed to do?
We had to pay
rent. We had bills.
- I don't know, show some
loyalty, walk out in solidarity.
Instead you let their
treatment of me be justified.
- You're being unreasonable.
- I'm not being unreasonable.
- Yes you are.
And keep your voice
down, you're yelling.
- I'm not yelling.
- [Amy Voiceover]
Indeed, I was yelling.
- You need to calm down, Amy.
- How's that gonna help?
We went to Texas
to make a movie.
We cast three people,
and it falls apart.
How is that a success?
- You're looking at
it the wrong way.
- The wrong way?
Are all the other people wrong?
Are the people that were
rooting against us wrong?
Jerry, Myra, the others
too, are they wrong?
- You need to stop yelling.
(metal banging to the ground)
- I'm so sorry.
I'm, I'm so sorry,
Missy. Oh my God.
- It's okay, Amy.
- Did I break something
of yours? Or is that mine?
- No, you didn't.
Come, we got to get
this cleaned up.
- [Amy Voiceover] I know I
call you my hero, Daniel,
and that my family
wants equal billing.
But they haven't
got the first clue
as to how much Missy
went through with me.
If anyone has earned the
right to be called my hero,
it's Missy.
Mamaw always loved the
fact I wrote stories.
- You know, Josephine
wrote stories,
good ones, just like you do.
- Thanks, Mamaw.
- But what I don't understand
is why you come over
here and sleep all day.
- It's part of the disease.
I just don't like being
alone. It's overwhelming.
- You know, your Papaw Grizwall
had something like that.
But you know what? He got
saved, and it cured the problem.
Maybe you don't need meds.
Maybe you just need saved.
- [Amy Voiceover] I often
kept my faith to myself.
I believed in the sense
of a higher power,
the Universe as in a capital U.
But Mamaw, as strong
as her faith was,
came attached to Christianity.
- Trust me, Mamaw.
I need my meds.
Trust me. It was worse.
It was so much worse.
- You know what? James was
such a good strong man.
I see so much of him in you.
- I love you too, Mamaw.
- Just keep writing, Amy.
- Would you read
anything that I write?
- Is there any
black writing in it?
- What's that?
- Any cursing or
premarital sex stuff?
- Then you probably would not
read anything that I write.
- No, probably not.
- Not even tell your friends
that your granddaughter's
an author?
- Maybe. I'd have
to think about that.
But maybe you can write
something without that stuff in
it.
- Maybe.
- [Amy Voiceover]
God rest her soul.
She was always
trying to save mine.
Sincerely, Amy McCorkle.
- Quit being paranoid.
- [Amy Voiceover]
Dear Daniel, I was.
- [Amy] I'm not, I just.
I like things done right.
And I want them right now.
- Amy, you know
you're my friend.
I love you more than a sister.
But I told you that you're
gonna make a mistake
if you rush into production.
- Then what was the point
of the auditions today?
- [Missy] I tried to
tell you not to do it
before we had our ducks in
a row, but you went ahead.
- [Amy Voiceover]
This is something
that hasn't really
changed over the years.
I still make her
crazy with this.
We just handle it a whole
hell of a lot better.
- You told me? What
am I, your child?
If we moved at your pace, we
wouldn't get anything done.
- You know, if you weren't
determined to act like a child,
going and running
and jumping into
the end of the swimming pool,
without knowing if
there's water in it,
I wouldn't have to
act like a parent.
I don't want to be your
mother. I want to be pleasant.
- You want to control
a lot of my life,
what I eat, where
I go, my projects.
You know, we don't
write like we used to.
- Amy we're friends. We don't
have to write to be friends.
- Writing is what our
friendship is about.
Without that, what do we have?
- [Amy Voiceover] I would come
to learn those were the words
that hurt her the most
up until that point.
- Screw you, Amy.
I've been through a
lot of shit with you,
stuff that lesser
and better people
would not have stuck around for.
For you to say something like
that to me, that just hurts.
- Get off the cross,
someone needs the wood.
- You know, for somebody who
wants to be shown sensitivity
for them and their issues,
you can act like a real witch.
- You sound just like
my dad. Take a number.
- You can't admit
when you're wrong.
The entire time I've known you,
you've never admitted
when you were wrong.
- Yes I do, I say I'm
sorry and I'm wrong
all the time just to please you.
- Now who's on the cross?
- I'm just saying it like it is.
- Get over yourself, Amy.
- [Amy Voiceover]
What I said next
was terrible, awful,
and inexcusable.
It was not the first
time I'd said it,
but it was the last time
I uttered such ugly words.
- If you don't shut
up, I'm gonna kill you.
I'm so sorry, Missy.
Oh my God, don't hate
me. I'm so sorry.
- Amy, you know I love you.
Because if anybody else
talked to me like that,
I'd beat their ass.
- Love you too.
- More than your luggage?
- More than my luggage.
Sigh to rinse away that
terrible Christmas from Texas.
- All right.
I didn't have much to get
you, but I hope you like it.
- New York?
Together, right?
- Absolutely.
And this here is another one.
- Oh my God. A Jane
Austin action figure.
Where'd you find this?
- I went down to that Something
Better store in the mall
looking for a Gladiator Sandy,
but they didn't have one.
They had this,
William Shakespeare,
and some other author
I can't remember.
All right. And one last one.
- Oh my God. Where
did you find these?
- Big Lots.
- Freaking love Big Lots.
(calm music)
- Amy.
Amy, wake up.
They called Dad
into the hospital.
- Did they find a liver?
- Yeah, Mom and Dad
are on their way now.
I've got to go pick up
Shannon and Jessica,
and take them with me.
- Do you want me
to come with you?
- No, I don't have
time right now.
I'll call you when
I know something.
Just please make sure the brakes
get fixed in my car today, okay?
- Okay. Call me if there's
any new information.
- [Missy] I will.
- [Amy Voiceover]
Harold had always seemed
as strong as an ox to me,
and everyone around him.
Missy understood
how sick he was.
But I don't think I
fully appreciated it
until he was called
into the hospital.
- Hello?
- [Missy] He's in ICU.
- Is he okay?
- [Missy] He's stable
for the moment.
- Are you okay?
- [Missy] During the
surgery, I had to get up
and walk away from everyone
and calm myself down.
I felt like something
really bad was happening.
- You know, I had a feeling
of calm come over me.
Things are gonna be okay.
- [Missy] I wish
you could see him.
I'm not used to seeing
my dad like that.
- [Amy Voiceover] We lived
on very little money.
Getting the brakes
done was a necessity.
It was supposed to cost $99.
And when you're in the
middle of a crisis,
it's like the universe
says, let's pile it on.
- Hey, can you hold on? I
have to pay for the brakes.
- [Missy] Okay.
- Excuse me.
- Yes.
- How much?
- Ah, your rotors were
bad. It's gonna be 291.
- Missy, they said the
brakes are gonna be $291.
- [Missy] How much do we have?
- 292.
(Missy groan cries)
- [Amy Voiceover] I could hear
the weariness in her voice,
the ache in her tone.
This wasn't something
she needed right now.
She needed to focus on
her father, on her family,
on being together and
taking care of one another.
- Pay it. We'll figure
out everything else later.
- You sure?
- [Missy] It's the brakes. Can't
really cut corners on that.
- Okay. I'll talk to you later.
- [Amy Voiceover]
Missy's mom and dad
gave her the money
to get us through.
It was one of the
last things he did.
Sincerely, Amy McCorkle.
(knocking on door)
- [John] Amy! Wake up!
(knocking repeats)
Amy, it's your dad.
- [Amy Voiceover] Dear Daniel,
allow me to clarify here
that John is my stepdad.
But he's raised me from three
years of age. He's a good man.
- Missy called. I
think her dad died.
- Why didn't anybody call me?
- You didn't answer.
- [Amy Voiceover] In the time
of my friend's greatest need,
I'd been lulled to
sleep by Ambien.
Trust me. After that,
I stopped taking it.
Missing out on my friend's
SOS wasn't worth another pill.
- [Amy] Missy?
- [Missy] Yeah?
- [Amy] Did you try to call?
- [Missy] Yeah.
Dad died, Amy.
- [Amy] I know, Sweetie.
- [Amy Voiceover] No worries.
The Wolf was on her way.
Dear Daniel,
I wish I could say
death was easy for me,
that I can handle the messy
emotions that come with it
with the grace and aplomb
that others around me have.
But on the morning
of Harold's funeral,
I found myself reeling,
and coping with the fact
that the surgeons with Coda
had treated Missy's
family as an afterthought,
had grown frustrated
with the difficulty
of the course of
Harold's treatment,
and that they
handled him roughly.
It angered and saddened
me that he was gone.
I knew that he liked me,
because he'd given me
the nickname of Amis.
He'd been gone less than a
week, and I missed him already.
No more University of Kentucky
Football or Basketball games.
No more cookouts, no more
visits where I could talk,
and he wouldn't listen.
- Have you seen him yet?
- They're still
getting him ready.
I didn't think I should be
the first one to see him.
I thought you and your mom
and your sisters should.
- Will you go with me?
- Of course.
- [Amy Voiceover] But as
hard for me as death is,
and as sad as I was
over the loss of Harold,
nothing compared
to the devastation
I saw in my best friend's face,
and the grief in her
mother's and sister's eyes.
(somber music)
It wasn't his face that
didn't look right to me,
but his body that was all wrong.
But after several surgeries,
multiple procedures,
and daily dialysis,
it wasn't a surprise to me.
But I understood this
wasn't my father.
His death hadn't blindsided me.
My hope hadn't
been robbed of me,
and snuffed out so
coldly and callously.
Missy had the right to
be angry and grieving.
She had, and still does
have, the right to feel
any way she wants to about
the loss of her father.
- [Missy] Pam.
- I didn't know him.
But you're my friend,
and I felt like I needed
to pay my respects.
- Thank you, Pam.
You don't know how
much that means.
- In this grief, you find out
who your real friends are,
the ones who find
the time to come,
and at least pay their respects,
even when showing vulnerability
isn't in their comfort zone.
Pam is in the inner
circle for a reason.
(somber music continues)
Missy was, and still is,
a nurturer, a caretaker.
I and many others have been
the benefactor of that.
I know it doesn't seem like it,
but that street goes
both ways for us.
- Honey, why don't you
go to lunch with Pam?
- And leave before the
funeral? How tacky is that?
You need me to be
strong for you.
And I know when my parents pass,
I want you to be strong for me.
I don't want you going off
having lunch with another
friend.
- You're having a panic
attack right now, right?
- Yes.
- Focus on taking
care of yourself.
That's what you can
do for me right now.
(somber music continues)
- [Amy Voiceover] Dear Daniel,
even God rested on
the seventh day.
With Missy, in the wake
of her father's death,
everyone had been leaning on
her, even me to some degree.
Well, the crap was about to
hit the fan in a very big way.
- How's your day?
- You should know. You
blew my phone up all day.
- [Amy] Did not.
- You want me to show
you where you did it?
- No, but I can only do so
much writing and promoting.
- You could volunteer.
We've talked about that.
- I don't have a car.
- That's a cop out. I told
you we'd figure it out.
- You can't help me.
I don't have a golden
ticket to mom and dad.
- Are we feeling a little bit
sorry for ourselves today?
How was your day?
- Apparently, I
blew up your phone.
- Amy, I can't do
this right now.
- Fine.
I wrote, promoted, and
watched some television.
- And blew up my phone.
- [Amy] Screw you.
- [Amy Voiceover]
I should have been
paying attention to
what she was doing.
Harold had died the day
before Christmas Eve.
What a crap deal.
Missy deserves to have a
dad seeing her succeed now.
I digress.
I should have been paying
attention to what she was doing.
She had yet to express
her grief in an all out,
ball out, get the
out of my way vent.
Boy, did I know how
to push that button.
Especially that night,
without saying a word.
You know that moment
when you realize
you've messed up big time?
Not enough to evoke
a volcanic eruption,
but enough so that if there
are other things going on,
there's going to be
a volcanic eruption?
There's that flight or fight
that's supposed to kick in.
Well, I wasn't smart
enough to heed that.
- What the hell, Amy?
- What?
- Did you call Canada?
How long did you talk to her?
- [Amy] Only 15
minutes, I don't know.
- Try 40 minutes!
- Sorry, I thought
it was shorter.
- You have to be kidding me.
There is a big difference
between 10 and 40.
I told you not to make
international calls!
- It's at this point, I
realize Missy is about
to lose her mind
for a little bit,
and there's not a single
thing I can do about it.
So I get still,
and get very quiet.
- Money.
Do you think I told you not
to make international calls-
- [Amy Voiceover] She
is getting wound up.
And there's nothing
I can say or do.
Although I have the worst habit.
When I'm nervous or
uncomfortable, I smile
involuntarily,
which made matters
much, much worse.
- You think this is funny?
- [Amy] No.
- I don't need this.
You pay this bill.
I already take care
of everyone around me,
my mom, my sisters.
I take care of you. And
I do it all by myself.
I need help.
- I'm sorry.
- Sorry?
You're sorry?
Sorry doesn't cut it.
(tense music)
- Can I come in?
- Yeah.
- Sorry.
- I know. I just
really miss my dad.
And everybody wants to tell
me how much they miss him.
Well, I miss him too.
- I know, Sweetie.
- Just do me a favor.
No more calls to Canada.
- Okay.
- Don't take this the wrong
way, but I'm really glad
that we have Patrick
in our lives again.
- Hey, you got me.
- Don't make me punch
you in your face.
(calm music)
- [Amy Voiceover] Dear Daniel,
there's something
that happens to you.
When the labor of love is
validated and rewarded.
In February of 2011,
I received my first
publication contract for
"Another Way to Die",
My James Bond meets "The
Girl with the Dragon Tattoo"
mashup, romantic thriller.
- Oh my God. Oh my God, Missy.
He's accepted
"Another Way to Die".
I'm gonna be a published author.
- Congratulations.
- I know I've goon loo loo
and all, but that's okay.
- I mean, it's somebody
besides your family
telling you it's
worthy of publication.
That's a good thing.
(Amy squeals)
- Oh, no no. Don't make
me punch you in the face.
- Missy is a private person.
She's a warm person, but
she's not much on getting
hypomanic kisses from her
out of control best friend.
Validation.
I wept for joy, for
relief, for every time life
had kicked me in the
gut and left me to die.
Dear Daniel, it had been
a year since Missy and I
had made the financial decision
to each move back
in with our parents.
It enabled us to
attend more events,
conventions, book signings,
that sort of thing.
But it had been a week since
the Fright Night Film Festival,
and we were still in
the dark about whether
our screenplay had won,
lost, or was sitting
in a dusty bin somewhere
forgotten for all times.
- Stay calm, Amy.
I mean,
everything with the book launch.
It was one of the best
times of our lives.
- I know. Meeting Grant Wilson
and Adrian Paul was awesome,
selling all those books.
And at least me and Tim
have a cool story to share.
- And you sold 34 books.
- That too. And I
graduated therapy.
- That's the most
important thing.
- It's the thing
I'm most proud of.
We've come a long
way since those girls
who struck it out
for Texas, huh?
- I'm proud of you, Amy.
- Let's check it just
one last time, okay.
- [Amy Voiceover] I
couldn't contain the joy
that was exploding from within.
How long had we worked?
How long have we scraped
by and struggled?
- Yes.
- [Amy Voiceover] No,
this wasn't an Oscar.
And the organization
of the award ceremony
was less than ideal,
as it had been canceled
due to the death
of its organizers.
But there it was, a win.
- Don't cry, Amy.
- [Amy Voiceover] An
honest to goodness win.
- This is a good thing.
It's a good thing.
- No trophy?
- [Missy] Just take the
win, and go with it.
- [Mother] I agree.
(uplifting music)
- [Missy] I'm
really proud of you.
- I'm proud of us.
We finally got one.
- [Missy] Knowing you,
you'll have us entered
into a million different
contests by this time next year.
And you'll have a
trophy, plus more.
- [Amy Voiceover] Man, Daniel,
you need to know this
script, this book.
I can trace directly back
to your working
cowboys and aliens.
It reignited everything I loved
about science
fiction and westerns.
As a teenager, my favorite
authors were Vonnegut,
Bradbury, Sue Grafton,
Madeline L'Engle, and more.
Your work put me in touch
with my storytelling roots,
and for that always be grateful.
- Yeah, I guess I better take
my meds, and go to bed too.
- [Missy] Award
winning screenwriters.
- Overnight.
- [Amy Voiceover] So much more
was to come, so much more.
Dear Daniel Craig,
bipolar disorder, and those
that saw it as contagious
sought to pull me under, snap
me in half, break me down.
Even those well
intentioned do getters
who see therapy and
medication as bad and wrong,
who see mentally ill individuals
as hapless and hopeless.
They're wrong.
I found hope in your work,
a comrade in Missy, my rock
when no one else understood.
You two are my twin lights,
when this disease
threatened to take me down.
And treatment was
what got me through.
Thank you, Daniel, for
your talent and your work.
Thank you for everything.
- Runner up,
- Sincerely,
- "Letters to Daniel."
- Amy McCorkle.
(audience applauding)
Thinking that I have to be
somebody else oh no oh no
No more no more
I have loved everyone
and everything
But I guess I forgot this
little thing that's me that's me
But no more no more
So hold my hand God
'cause I am breaking free
I don't know when but
someday I'm gonna be
Exactly how you
intended me you'll see
Some day
Some day
When I look at this
rock I have to climb
I get the shivers I am
scared I won't deny oh no
No more
But I know that my friend
will still stay with me
Night and day I will make
it through to see all things
Someday
So hold my hand God
'cause I am breaking free
I don't when but
someday I'm gonna be
Exactly how you
intended me you'll see
Some day
Some day
I know when I take
the darkness into me
And find myself a
place of no return
You will be with me
I know even in
the darkest times
If you're the last to
hold my hand and shout
You will be here with me
Oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh oh
So hold my hand God
'cause I am breaking free
I don't when but
someday I'm gonna be
Exactly how you
intended me you'll see
Some day
Some day
You will see