Love to Love You, Donna Summer (2023) Movie Script
1
I know when to come in.
I'll count. I'll count.
One, two.
One, two, three, four.
Oooh, love to love you, baby
Oooh, love to love you, baby
Oooh, love to love you, baby
Oooh, love to love you, baby
Oooh, love to love you, baby
Oooh, love to love you, baby
Oooh, love to love you, baby
Oooh, love to love you, baby
Do it to me again and again
You put me in such an awful spin
In a spin in
Oooh, love to love you, baby
Oooh, love to love you, baby
Oooh, love to love you, baby
It's so good...
Ooh, heaven knows
Heaven knows...
Ooh, I feel love
I feel love...
I feel love
I feel love
I have a secret life.
You're looking at me,
but what you see is not what I am.
How many roles do I play
in my own life?
Who is she?
When I
Believe in miracles that happen
You wanna sing now?
You want me to do the camera?
- Yup.
- Okay, you sing.
Is this Brooklyn?
Yes.
Oh, Brooklyn.
How you doing today?
Hey, Auntie Mary.
I'm calling because
I may need some help.
I'm trying to figure out
the many pieces
of who Mom really was.
You know, she...
was complicated
and struggled with her fame
her... her image.
And even love.
- What do you see?
- People.
- Yeah.
- Hi, people.
Boo boo, how you doing?
Fine
- Is it working?
- Yeah.
Mom, may I see, too?
Not right now.
Go out and play.
- Dance. I gotta get you.
- What's your name?
Brooklyn.
I'm four.
- What's your name?
- Amanda.
- How old are you?
- Two.
- And a half.
- When's your birthday?
Five.
- And what's your name?
- Mimi.
Move your arms, Mimi,
as much as you can.
- I can't see.
- Well, squinch.
Come on.
Growing up, I was in the studio
with Mom all night long.
We'd go to sleep on the couch
in the engineering room.
It was sort of a rollercoaster ride
for everyone.
She was really famous,
and everyone wanted her.
There was this element of her
always having to be public.
But Mommy was a very private
person in a lot of ways.
With Mom
a lot of her life revolved
around privacy and secrecy.
We were never allowed in her room.
The door was always locked.
We would find out things
by reading newspaper articles
they had clipped out
and hidden in places.
I actually remember the first time
that we heard Love to Love You.
Didn't even know it existed.
Brooklyn came in the room
and was like
"Have I got a song for you to hear!"
When I wrote Love to Love You Baby
I did not write it to be a song.
I wrote it as a concept
for someone else to write a lyric to.
Oh, love to love you baby
I just made up a voice
and kinda tried to create a vibe.
Amanda, remember when we were like
"Who is this woman?"
I mean, I don't think
she had any idea
that this vibe was gonna
completely change her life.
Love to Love You Baby
was becoming, like, this world symbol
of freedom, of liberation.
Things would begin to happen.
People would begin to, you know,
like, rip their clothes off
and throw them on the stage
and bras, underwear.
They didn't know
it was gonna be, like, that racy.
The audience would get
completely uncontrollable.
And it... was kinda terrifying.
It wasn't me,
and it was something I was playing.
It was a role.
Everyone that knew me
would call me up and say
"That... that's not you, is it?"
Then I would say, "Yeah, that's me."
And they would just say,
"Nah, come on."
What's hot right now? Disco?
Disco is a phenomenon.
It's... it's the hottest thing
that has hit the music business.
I mean, millions and millions
of records are selling
and Donna is the biggest.
Was it tough to get her
that first hit
or did... or did one thing happen
that you... that you knew
that put her over the top?
- Give me an example.
- Okay, Donna...
Donna was a star in Europe.
She was not doing
disco-oriented records.
She had a... an idea
and she recorded
Love to Love You Baby
which was a three-minute-
and-20-second record.
They brought it to me
after it had failed in Europe
and I listened to it and I loved it.
And I put it out here
and nothing happened.
About a month later
I was playing it at a party
I had at my house
and someone said
"Play that again."
I put it back on
and the record finished
and someone said, "Play that again."
I said, "The record's too short.
They keep asking for more."
So I went upstairs,
and I called Germany
where the record was produced,
and I said
"Give me a 20-minute version."
What we did is we came up
with a... a promotional idea.
If we can get some radio stations
to play just at midnight
and say, "Tune in
for 20 minutes of love."
I was at the house listening to it
and realized, "Wait a minute.
That's... that's Donna.
That's my sister.
She said she was gonna be famous
and she did it.
She's on the radio."
Unknown singer Donna Summer
recorded a song
I Love To Love You Baby.
It started a new phase
in the recording industry
Sex Rock.
I actually believe that
it was pretty much the gay community
that broke that record.
I heard it the first time
while I was listening
to underground radio.
Like a college station
that played stuff
that you could not play
in the daytime.
I don't know. It was probably
about twelve-thirty, one o'clock.
And I hear this song come on.
A controversial record has been
making radio executives nervous
all over the world.
It was banned recently by
the BBC in England
and in spite of that,
it's sold over 1 million albums.
Oh, my god, this is...
I'm listening to Love to Love You
and I'm like, and it's going on
and on...
And I'm like, "Oh, my god.
I think this is the record
that she said
that wasn't gonna sound like her."
And Grandma said
"I'm never gonna be able
to go to church again."
She knew that I was gonna be
shocked, okay?
And to say the least
I was shocked
because in my heart
I always wanted her to be
a gospel singer.
When Donna sang in church
it would give you a vibrating
feeling that you know, you...
they give you something that...
well, that, to me, no other singer
that I heard in the church, gave me.
It started really with my dad.
He used to get me and...
and make me come to the living room
and he says, "Listen.
Listen to this record
and sing just like this record."
Elijah Rock shout, shout
Elijah Rock coming up Lord
Elijah Rock shout, shout
Elijah Rock coming up Lord
I listened to Mahalia Jackson
and... and said
"You know, she... somehow,
she has what I want."
I would just listen
and listen for hours.
Elijah
Elijah
Our favorite way to spend our time
was putting on shows
on the front porch or the back stoop.
And when the neighbors
would hear you singing
they would stop on their way home.
Hallelujah!
Elijah Rock, shout...
Elijah Rock coming up, Lord!
Boston in the 1950s
was not a friendly
city to people of color.
We were black.
Anything could happen to you.
Kids from the other part
of the project
the white part, as we used to call it
would beat on us and tell us
we were not welcome in their area.
One day
one of the kids chased us
back to our part of the projects
and there was a wire
strung from one fence to another.
I saw it. I went under it
and I turned and looked
and Donna had hit it with her chin.
She had that little clip on her chin
and it never went away.
Tell everybody
He's been a rock and a shelter for me
I felt like I was barred for life
and there was never gonna be a way
that I would ever be attractive.
Feeling ugly, feeling inadequate.
- I was scarred.
- Elijah Rock
I'm coming up
Elijah...
When I was about eight years old
one of the ladies
in my church got sick
and she was supposed to sing.
The minister came to me
and he said, "Can you sing today?"
I was petrified. I mean, petrified.
But I got up anyway,
and I stood up to sing.
And all of a sudden, this voice
came out that I didn't know.
It just came outta me.
And everyone in my family
will remember this
because they all were...
everybody was in tears.
I was in tears,
and my family was in tears.
Everyone in the whole church
was in tears.
And it was a... a striking feeling
of "God, I'm blessed.
I know I'm gonna be famous," and...
Once upon a time, once upon a time
Once upon a time, once upon a time
Auntie Mary
Mom was a dreamer.
You know, she could shapeshift
in and out of characters.
How did this show up
in her performances?
Donna's shows were theatrical.
There was always a story.
There was a heroine.
There was a problem.
And in the end, she overcame.
She thought in theater.
Once upon a time...
in the land of Never Never...
there lived a little girl
who believes
that all things were possible.
I know a lot of people won't think
that she was a forerunner
but she really was.
She was thinking about things
outside of the box
- that they wanted to keep her in.
- Do you want me in here?
- She wasn't having it.
- Somebody, please let me out!
- I'll keep running
- By her stepping out in those areas
it did allow other people of color
to step out of the box
that they had her in.
Hey, you better get me out.
I can't breathe. I need help.
It seems like the whole world's
closing in on me
Please, somebody help
I thought that, you know,
if you really were a star
you had to be on
The Johnny Carson Show
so that was... it was always
my biggest dream.
I said, "I know I'm a star
when I've done
The Johnny Carson Show."
What do you see down the road?
Picture yourself that maybe...
maybe you'd have... would have
successful recordings now?
- You like to...
- Developing.
You know, I'm... I'm studying
to become a director myself
so I have my own little video studio
set up at home.
Yeah, that's super.
Somebody told me you had made...
- Any actors out there?
- Yeah.
No, you know what he's like.
You're not interviewing.
- You're the husband.
- All right, Mary
well, push over, just a hair.
When you're on the road for
a long time or you might have
a day off between another show
and you're stuck in a hotel
in Podunk, Iowa
you find things to do.
And God help us.
Donna bought herself a camera
a movie camera.
And she was expecting us
to make movies.
No, you didn't.
Now, you know what we go through
every single night.
She would direct us
and, "Do this and do that."
And we all played the game.
Some of it was funny
and some of it, it got us in trouble.
You better get away from my camera.
You wanna leave
for California tomorrow, don't you?
And so it was like
"I'm never doing that again.
I'm not doing it."
She's like, "Come on.
Come on, Mary. Come on."
And she was fun, and...
and she was funny.
Well, I get vibration.
You're going to go far away one day.
You watch. You see.
You're going to be very, very famous.
I'm telling you.
But could you just tell me about
what's gonna happen next week?
Next week, you're gonna have to
finish up something
you started this week.
But that's... but that's so general.
That's $2.
Like...
- Are you married?
- No.
You will be married.
You're going to take a journey.
You wanna know where you gonna go?
No, I wanna know what school
I'm gonna get in before this.
What the fuck? You gotta be...
You're gonna go far away,
across the sea, in the air.
When she was in high school
she started working with a band
called The Crow.
She would sneak out a lot at night
and go sing in clubs.
Oh, you made me feel so bad
All the band was white.
I was "the crow."
And they really wanted her
to be like the black Janis Joplin.
You know what I mean?
So after, I think she heard the way
Janis Joplin sang
she felt like, "I can do this."
Come on...
Come on, and take it
Take another little piece
Of my heart now, baby
You know, coming out of church
and... and seeing Janis Joplin
this wild-haired woman with no bra on
and... and literally a jug of whiskey
in her hand.
I hadn't ever been exposed
to something like that.
I mean, that just was not proper.
I remember getting a spanking
for wearing red fingernail polish
because to my father,
red fingernail polish meant...
That was what whores wore,
in his mind.
We wore slips, and more slips,
and girdles
and it just don't jiggle.
Can't understand
Why this whole world
Keeps pulling me down
To the ground
There was a lot of pressure
in being a black woman.
A lot of pressure.
Being a woman is bad enough.
And being a black woman
was like a double whammy.
Summer of '68, I was 19 years old
I was in sort of a limbo state.
I originally went outta Boston to...
to pursue a singing career
in New York with my band.
So here I am.
I'm in New York, and, you know
I feel a little bit freer
than I feel in Boston.
I don't have anybody
looking over my shoulder.
Feeling like, you know, there was
a future waiting for me somewhere
and I just needed to discover
what key it was
that was gonna turn the lock
that was gonna open the door
to that future.
There was just music pouring out
of every doorway
and you became part of
this whole tapestry of movement
that was happening in the country
you know,
enjoying the whole environment
of just being kind of a hippie.
I'm trying to figure out
what's going on in my life.
I lived above the Cafe Wha?
on the top floor
with a couple of people.
The director of Hair came
to the house
with the girl that I live with.
I happened to be singing
around the house at the time
and he heard me and he said
"Well, I'm having an audition
on Thursday
would you come down?"
And that was the turning point.
Within two weeks, I was out of it.
I went to Germany.
Wenn der Mond
Im siebten Hause steht
Und Jupiter auf Mars zugeht
Being 19 years old in Germany
and coming of age
having the hippie revolution
kind of on my heels
and being a person
who is craving change
was a door to an entire reality.
There were really kinda no limits.
Sort of newfound freedom.
Being in Germany
gave me license to be myself
and I hadn't had that license before.
For the first time
she was accepted in a way
that we were never accepted
in America.
Blacks were at a premium.
They saw you walking down
the street and said
"Oh, we've gotta have that."
I got a lot of press
because at that time
there were very few
black women in Germany.
You were just constantly on display
no matter where you went,
no matter what you did.
It was just an open door.
I was tall and very thin at the time
and there were
a lot of photographers there
and I just got a lot of work.
- Helmuth.
- Yeah.
I wanna know
how you actually got together.
I met Donna during the musical, Hair.
Of course I was attracted.
Donna had the best voice
so everybody was admiring
this gift that she had.
We were just in kind of a love
for each other.
This is the feeling
that I remember a lot.
She was really a funny girl
when she was in a good mood.
When Mimi was born
Donna's reaction was
a little bit kind of distanced.
I was never that maternal.
I never actually thought I would ever
have kids until I had one.
I just... It just was... It was...
There was...
there was too much fire in me.
When I was born
Mommy was ready to break out.
Her dream was just bigger.
She knew more was on the horizon
and you could not contain her.
So they separated when I was two.
I pretty much stayed
with my grandparents after that.
I went through a manner
of manic depression
to be the one to have to say,
"I'm leaving."
The guilt of that was so strong.
I'm taking my daughter's father away.
Donna Summer!
They call her
The lady of the night
She's a woman of the world
I had started to record some...
what the Germans call Schlager songs
kind of corny, bubblegummy
for the European market.
So I had kind of developed
a little bit of a career.
Oooh, something coming over me...
I remember calling her
and... and she was in Munich
and saying, "Are you sexy?"
And she went, "I don't know."
"Could we spotlight you in Playboy?"
And she went, "Oh, absolutely not."
You know, she was living
a very kinda quiet life
in... in Munich.
And when we brought her over
to New York
we brought her over as a major star.
I came up with
"The First Lady of Love" for Donna.
That's what Neil was selling.
You're gonna make love
to this wonderful record
Love to Love You Baby.
Neil looked out for every
aspect of my career
that every hair is in place
every smile is right.
"We're gonna give you
the best of everything.
You're gonna look like
you're already rich."
I mean, if I was getting ready
to go on stage
and my nail polish wasn't on my feet,
and somebody was late
he was on his knees.
I kid you not.
He taught me how to dream
on a whole other level.
I didn't have very many friends.
Most of the people
that I was friends with at the time
were in some way involved
in the record business.
So Casablanca
because that was my whole world.
Neil wanted to make it
really special for Donna
so he brought her mom and dad
and her sisters and her brother
to her New York debut.
It was opposite
of the culture of our family.
She was really never that sexy,
sultry person.
But even though that persona
they had given it to her
that persona was the door
that took her where she needed to go.
Well, obviously,
America was ready for it.
Was Donna Summer ready
for the stardom name in lights
bodyguards?
Yeah, I have a very hard time,
not being myself.
And there are times
when you can't be yourself
and you can't be
the way you'd like to be.
And that's goofy, or funny
or whatever you are as a human being
as a person offstage.
So what I'm trying to do more
and more now
is to become myself on stage
so that when I'm offstage,
it doesn't matter.
And so that the same person
you meet in this room
is the same person onstage.
- Fever
- Summer
- Summer fever
- Fever
It's the time of love
The time of year
Temperatures rising
Our bodies near in fever
Summer
Summer fever
Fever
Giorgio, growing up,
my mom always spoke
about how important you were
to her life.
How did you guys meet?
We were looking for
some American or English singers
for a demo.
Donna came, and we did the vocals
and we were very happy.
So I started working with Giorgio
and this is the beginning
of a great relationship.
Giorgio really took me under his wing
even before I had a hit record.
He was like a mentor.
He was a redeeming factor in my life
from some of the abusive men
or men figures that I had had
in the past
or people I had chosen to trust
who were not worthy of that trust.
Georgio was the antithesis of that.
- You wanna put a fender on?
- A fender, yes.
- Make it a little fuller?
- Yeah.
I had a... I had
a very close relationship with her.
She definitely trusted us.
And in fact, whatever we did,
we did well.
I came up with the...
with Georgio with the...
I feel love
It fit well.
Which just changed the face
of music for a while.
I mean, I figure it was like
maybe a year or two
after Love To Love You Baby.
I said, "Wow, great.
This is totally new."
When I went in to do it
I had the sense that I was floating.
And that's what we wanted to maintain
that floaty kind of
that elation that you feel
when you're in love.
That kind of...
I think it's probably one
of the most innovative songs around.
I feel love
This was the very first
drum machine click trick
ever used in music.
We weren't listening
to what other people were doing
and trying to emulate.
We were forging ahead.
It sounds grandiose,
but I think others were following.
Whatever dance songs came up
later on with electronics
is based on... on I Feel Love.
I remember when I Feel Love came on
at Studio 54
you just stopped in your tracks.
"What is this?"
People screamed.
It just went on and on and on
and you didn't want it to stop.
It sounded like no other record.
It changed the way people
thought about music.
I feel love...
I feel love
I feel love
I feel love
Where do you feel you stand now?
I hope I stand
in a light of legitimacy, I think.
In a place where people will respect
what I do
and understand that any...
any songs that I make
I do because I choose to
and not because
that is my limitation.
How long are you going
to maintain this... this image
that's based on
Love to Love You Baby?
Well, I think I've deviated
from that path already.
I won't even... You know
I hate for it to sound like I'm...
I'm running away from anything
because I'm really not.
I think it's more like...
I'm growing and...
It's like looking at a flower
in the bud
and you first see the bud,
and you say
"Wow, fantastic,
the trees are budding."
And then you go back,
and the leaves are out.
And then finally, there's a flower.
And I feel that
when I came to America
I was in the budding stage.
And maybe I'm springing a leaf
about now
and maybe one day, I'll be a blossom.
Hey, Chico!
Get out of the way!
Get outta the way!
Hey, jerk! I listen to my music!
Hey, I listen to my music!
- Disco been very good to me!
- Yeah!
- Get outta the way!
- Oh, shut up!
If you feel it, feel it right
You got to feel it every night
- Feel that
- And if you feel it, feel it right
You got to feel it every night, yeah
Well, if you feel it, feel it so good
You got to feel it like you should
- Feel that
- And if you feel it, feel it good
- You got to feel it like you should
- Feel that
Take it down, boys. Now...
do you love somebody?
Does everybody here
have somebody they love?
No?
Well, love me for right now, okay?
Just give me a little bit of love
and let me see you stand up.
Stand up out your seats. Come on.
Now let's shake those hips.
Come on. Oh, yeah.
Do you believe in love?
Do you believe in love?
Do you believe in love?
Do you believe in love?
Do you believe in love?
Do you believe in love?
Do you believe in love?
Come on shake your hand now.
Do you believe in love?
Come on.
Feel it
Oh, yeah
- Feel it. Feel it
- Feel it
Thank you for coming tonight.
I'm happy to see you.
Thank you for coming.
Thank you, and I love you, too.
Thank you for coming.
Thank you so much.
When you have success
all over the world
and it's very constant, you have it.
It's all the time.
It's everywhere you go.
It's like you never get a break.
I didn't dream about fame that way.
I dreamt about singing.
Whenever I dreamt about fame,
it was being on stage.
It wasn't the accolades and all
the people screaming "I love you."
So when that part came into it
it... it threw me for a loop
because I really didn't have
to deal with that.
We did a demo of Bad Girls,
everything was done.
The song was finished.
We listened to it
over and over again.
I'm like, "There is something
missing to this song."
I think this song needs a hook.
I said, "I got this idea
this imagery of,
'How do you haul a hooker?'"
You're honking your horn.
You're trying to get her attention.
It's like, "Over here."
- Bad girls
- Bad girls
- Talking about the sad girls, yes
- Sad girls
- Bad girls
- Bad girls
Talking about sad girls, yeah
See them out on the street at night
Picking up all kinds of strangers
If the price is right
You can score if your pocket's nice
But you want a good time
Everybody's sang in my family.
My father sang. My mother sang.
Every time my father had company
or my mother had company
my mother would call me
and my sisters into the room
to perform
and they would just go crazy.
So... so we had these
sort of little outlets
of performing a bit of an idea
or insight
as to what it was like
to have people applaud for you.
We did impersonations
as much as we could.
Thank you, ladies and gentlemen.
We will be back tomorrow night.
See you again. We hope...
Do you live here in California?
I live about,
I think, 40,000 ft above.
Usually in one direction
or the other.
- I... I haven't been home at all.
- You're always in a plane.
Yeah. I haven't been home. Maybe
two-and-a-half months this year.
I'm always amazed
at the amount of songs she released
the press that she did, the tours
from like 1976 to like 1980.
I don't know how she survived it.
During that time
when she was really first famous
I think she knew
that was a part of the game.
I think she understood that
that came with the territory.
And so she... she marched it.
It wasn't that she loved it all.
She just tried to keep her sanity.
How do you think she felt
about the title "Queen of Disco?"
I know she would say, "Hey
it's better to be the queen
of something," you know.
But in some ways, it was love-hate
because, "Yeah, I love disco.
Disco got me here.
But that's not all of who I am."
I had done all those songs
in this made-up voice
so people thought,
"Oh, well, she's a fad.
Oh, she can't really sing.
This girl doesn't sing.
What's the big deal about her?"
You know, you can look at somebody
who's talented
and... and you can know
that they're capable of 20 things
but the audience
doesn't know that yet.
And I always take it
from that point of view
that they just don't know me yet.
That's okay.
Spring was never waiting for us, dear
It ran one step ahead
As we followed in
The dance
Between the parted pages
We were pressed
In love's hot, fevered iron
Like a striped pair of pants
MacArthur's Park is melting
In the dark
All the sweet green icing
Flowing down
Someone left my cake out in the rain
I don't think that I can take it
'Cause it took too long to bake it
And I'll never have that recipe again
Again
All right.
Best Rhythm and Blues
Vocal Performance Female is...
Donna Summer.
And the winner is Donna Summer.
Donna Summer.
- Donna Summer.
- Live and More.
I knew it. Donna Summer.
All right.
Now, ladies and gentlemen
we're having a moment
of station identification.
We remember so well
the days of lipstick and women.
Well, those were the days
when women used to not smear it on.
They used to molest the lipstick.
I was always a comedian.
I was always a clown.
So becoming Donna Summer
the character
I didn't feel sexy at the time
and so I just assumed it as a role.
This time that I spent away from home
away from the mindset
that I grew up in
away from what should be
away from how I should be
is what has made me what I am
and has given me my individuality
away from all of the predictable.
And so I'm unpredictable
and that... that stresses
the crap outta people.
Do you feel like
you're handling your success now?
Sometimes. Shaky. Yeah. Shaky.
I think the part that I really have
to deal with the most is my daughter.
Is she with your folks?
She's with my parents
in... in Massachusetts.
And what is so hard
about it is that
as much as I miss her
and as much as
I want to be with her
as soon as she's there
I have to go back to her way.
It's a constant adjustment.
So the first couple of days,
it's I have to become a parent again.
And the responsibility of that
and the weight of that is...
is immense.
I could tell
that she was trying hard.
She would be like,
"Okay, Mimi let's go play outside.
I'm gonna make you breakfast."
And I knew that that was something
that she didn't do often.
So for me, I always felt like,
"Wow, she's really trying."
She's trying to make time.
She's trying to carve time out.
When I would be alone with her
we would go to bed or something.
I'd sleep in the bed with her,
and she would just be exhausted.
You could just see it in her face.
It wasn't just like, "I'm tired."
It was like a soul weariness, though.
It almost made me sad for her.
I get to go back
to my grandparents' house
and have a normal life
but she is getting pulled
in every direction.
Donna was trying to navigate
being a mother and be a good mother.
But to know that you have a destiny
in this arena
and yet you have this responsibility
that is important to you
there's no examples as to how
to make that balance correct.
Donna's decision to have
Mom and Dad take care of her
was one which she knew
she would be loved
she knew she'd be nurtured
and she knew she'd be safe.
I don't think you understand
what it's like being the daughter
of someone who is always gone.
My daughter looked up at me
one day last week
and she said, "Mommy
when are you
just gonna stay home one day
and be with me?"
And I didn't realize
that I hadn't spent any time with her
for a long time.
So I sat down and wrote this song
after she went to bed
and I told her tonight,
when it was bedtime
I would sing her a song.
I bet you ask yourself
Why I'm never there
It's not because I like being away
You see
I've made a spectacle of myself
And it seems
That the whole world needs me
I understand when you cry alone
And mama's not there
To wipe your eyes
When I heard the Mimi song,
it was like, "Oh, my gosh."
I was like,
"She wrote a song for me."
She really feels this way about me.
Someone to make you proud
There was such a great bond
that it had created
that song
just to spend the time with her doing
what she does
and being with her.
I just remember feeling elated
as a kid.
With so much love
Come on, Mimi.
'Cause you're lovely
'Cause you're lovely
And you're beautiful
And you understand
- Say good night to everyone.
- Good night.
Money and success
does not make you happy.
I know it for a fact
because for me,
the most dismal days of my existence
were at the height of my career.
It was like wearing an evening gown
that was too tight, you know?
You know, everything was popping out
and I needed more space.
I saw the self I was striving to be.
All of a sudden,
it seemed further away than ever.
Feeling guilty, or feeling shame
or feeling all the things
that had been part of my life.
I was molested by a minister
when I was in my teens.
It's not pain
I could have spoken about.
But it's something that I have to
always incorporate into my reality.
Uncle Ricky.
Mom never talked about
being abused by the pastor with me.
Did she ever talk to you about it?
Yes.
He did a lot of
damage to a lot of people.
Did the devil's work
better than most.
I believe... I believe that...
it became a defining moment
in her life.
It's not easy when you don't have
the ability to tell people.
But how do you get out of it?
There were other things
that had gone on in my life.
Things in my own sense of morality
that I felt that I had crossed
like, that I felt God could never
forgive me because I... I failed.
And I... I was decadent.
I was stupid.
You know? I was a fool.
So I just decided
that my life had no meaning.
I was in New York.
I was alone in the then-Navarro Hotel
on Central Park South.
I'd been watching TV.
I just broke down and said
"I am not gonna live
another day like this."
I had not been able to sleep,
and I was lying in bed.
The lines on the TV
were going up and up and up.
And after a while, I think I feel...
I was... it was almost like
being hypnotized.
And it was... it was crushing to me.
And I thought, "You know what?
I'm never gonna be who I am.
You know? I'm gonna be stuck
being this person.
How do I get out of it?"
And on that day, I... I just said
"I'm... I'm getting outta here.
I'm leaving. I... I gotta go
and I put my foot out the window."
And as I shifted my weight
to slide out the window
my foot got caught
into this thin curtain.
And at that precise moment
the door opened
and it was my house cleaning lady...
and she opened the door enough
to look right at me and go
"Oh, Ms. Summer,
I came to clean up today."
Another ten seconds,
I would've been gone.
- The Rolling Stone.
- Yeah.
That must have been a big deal, huh?
It was a big deal at the time
because, first of all, black.
- Second of all, woman.
- Yeah.
So it was a big get at the time.
And...
Were you guys dating then or not yet?
Yeah. No. We were definitely...
Yeah, we were.
We were dating from the moment
we met.
I noticed.
Man stayed up
All night
And carried on
And now
He knows
He wishes
He'd never gone
And he knows...
When I first met Donna
in my egocentric
elitist songwriter mind
I think I kinda viewed her
as a novelty.
But then we sat
down at the table
started playing guitars
and we just hit it off
instantaneously.
How much he
Loves you, baby
I'm coming after you.
Stick your
Baby home
Did we submit the record?
- Yeah, he liked it.
- Man stayed out all night
I love it.
I had a girlfriend
who was still in New York
who I had been with a few years.
Donna had this boyfriend.
I don't know where he was that week
but he was gone.
The next week
Donna and I just hung out together
the whole time
barely sleeping,
just talking, writing.
Within that time, we were bonded.
I brought this Bible with me
and Donna liked that.
She was like, "I never met a guy
who, like, studied the Bible."
My Bible was also my stash
for my joints, you know?
Someday you'll come along
The man I love
And he'll be rich and strong
The man I love
And when he comes my way
I'll do my best
To make him stay
We had a lot in common
in terms of our drive to succeed
and to escape where we were from.
I'll understand
So we... we just had
this intense beginning.
For a while
He'll take my hand...
I wasn't a serious boyfriend type.
I was serious about my career.
And so was Donna.
You know, that's part of what
Donna and I recognized in each other.
You know
I'm the kinda lady
that always meets the wrong man
at the wrong place at the wrong time.
I've always had
that wrong kinda luck, you know?
My man comes home biting,
and screaming, and fussing, and...
and then hit me, and beat my head
on the side of the wall
and you know,
he doesn't treat me good at all.
But I want him to. I need him.
You see, my man just...
For all the bravado
that appeared on the outside
there was a great deal
of insecurity underneath that.
Fear of being alone
led her into these relationships
that, in her mind,
were kinda like placeholders.
I got it bad
And that ain't good
Nah, it ain't good
Peter Muhldorfer
was one of Donna's distractions.
He was a very dark character.
I have no good memories of him.
I always felt very protective of her
when he was in her life.
He had the same vibrant imagination
as Donna.
He was very creative
in a very dark way.
My boyfriend Peter
who was kind of abusive at the time
and very possessive,
extremely controlling.
He would drink and be abusive
and then he would apologize
for the abuse.
And you're going,
"Well, you know, maybe it's just me.
Maybe I did something to provoke him.
Maybe I shouldn't have said that."
'Cause you really don't
wanna be alone
because you're really afraid
internally yourself.
And something in you identifies
with his fear of being alone.
The more independence
I've started to have
the more Peter felt threatened.
Even though there were a lot of
new people in my life at that point
there wasn't any one person
other than Peter who...
who I really believed loved me.
I knew that as this wave
of success grew
he would be more jealous
and more aggressive.
I was fearful of the situation
that I felt trapped by it.
I was already secretly seeing Bruce
by then
because Bruce was like a safe haven.
I had tried my best
to get away from Peter.
Peter, I'm curious.
What was your impression of Bruce?
You said you kind of suspected
something going on.
When I came back from New York
Bruce and the guys
have been in the house.
I remember they were writing a song.
The lyrics was something
laying heavy on my heart.
I felt there is something going on
some separation
and some plan or something like that.
And then, of course, we had a fight.
I got a phone call
in the middle of the night
and said to Neil
"Call our attorney
and call the police."
A black eye and a bruised cheek
and broken ribs.
Donna was unconscious.
I had no respect for him.
She was becoming a star.
He could not handle that.
My recollection of Peter is
"This guy's crazy."
Police again coming to our house
me hiding in the bathroom
and hearing everything
that was going on
and seeing police sirens
and lights going off
and being so happy when Mom decided
to be done with that relationship.
I did it as a white man
with a black woman
and I did it with somebody
who was a star already.
She called the management,
and they had picked her up
and from that moment on
I haven't seen her anymore.
I hit her, and I never could
forgive myself.
Watching Daddy dance
Watching Daddy dance
Watching Daddy dance
Okay, I wanna try it again.
You're not just watching.
The first one was beautiful
but then, the ones after that,
got a little bit sloppy.
- Yeah.
- So do Watching Dad... You know.
How did you incorporate
your family into your act?
Well, it was easy. They sing.
And I had been taking
three other girls on tour with me
and I decided, "Why should I take
someone else's family
all over the world with me?"
How important is it
for an international star
someone like yourself...
how important is it to have someone
- close to you?
- Well...
It's very... Well, I think
it's important for everyone
to have someone that,
especially in my position
there's always the threat
of whether someone loves you for you
or whether they love you
because of the advantage
of being with...
with a person like you.
I didn't
think about singing with her.
I just said, "Somebody has
to be out there with her."
She gotta have some family out there.
There's no family out there.
They gonna chew her up
and spit her out.
It was really an exciting time.
It was like being on a roller coaster
that never took a pit stop.
Sitting here eating
My heart out waiting
Waiting for some lover to call
I dialed about
A hundred numbers lately
Almost rang the phone off the wall
Looking for some hot stuff
Baby, this evening
I need some hot stuff, baby, tonight
Gimme a little some hot stuff
Baby, this evening
Gonna need your loving
- I got to have your love tonight
- Hot stuff
- I need
- Hot stuff
- Looking for
- Hot stuff
Gotta have hot stuff, yeah!
Come on, let's boogie.
I just wanted to say that I think
that we need to address
my approach to singing.
I approach it as an actress.
I... I'm not trying to be me.
What I am there to do
is become the character
and then sing that song
in the context
to who that character is.
Thank you.
Last dance
Last chance for love
Yes, it's my last chance
For romance
Tonight
I need you
By me
Beside me
To guide me
And to hold me
To scold me
'Cause when I'm bad, I'm so, so bad
- So let's dance the last dance
- Let's dance the last dance
- Let's dance the last dance
- Let's dance the last dance
- Let's dance the last dance
- Let's dance
Tonight
Last dance
It's my last chance for love
Hi.
Yes, it's my last chance
For romance tonight
- Oh, oh, I need you by me
- I need you by me
- Beside me to guide me
- Beside me
- To hold me, to scold me
- To hold me, to scold me
Because when I'm bad, I'm so, so bad
- So let's dance the last dance
- Let's dance the last dance
- Let's dance the last dance
- Let's dance the last dance
- Let's dance the last dance
- Let's dance
Tonight
This album
Donna Summer, Once Upon a Time
has gotten probably the best reviews
of any new album
in the last ten years.
You... you can't believe them
when you read them.
They're fantastic.
It's what you call a concept album.
It's a story.
And Donna Summer
rightly deserves them.
She's a phenomenon
in the record industry.
Well, he searched and searched
For nights and days
'Til he found the one he loved
And he wrapped her in his arms again
And then he thanked the stars above
That he found
Who he'd been looking for
And he stared her in the eyes
- He said "I love you"
- I love you... Yes, I do
He said
- "I love you"
- I love you. I love you. I do
We have this expression of music
called "the voice within the voice"
and it's the way you hear the note.
But did that cry that's in there
that touches the pain in you?
And even sometimes,
if it's a happy song
there's that cry in there
that maybe touches something in you
that's hidden in that groaning place
that place that we get to.
- She said "I love you"
- I love you... Yes, I do
- Yes, I really do
- I love you... Yes, I do
- They said "I love you
- I love you...
- Yes, I do"
- I love you. I love you. Yes, I do
It... it's so funny how people write
you know, and... and a lot of writers
write better under pressure.
I mean, under severe pressure.
Like it's-gotta-be-finished-yesterday
kinda pressure.
I prefer to work
in... in the way of concepts
have an idea
and work it out to the end.
And after, you know, coming from
being the disco queen
to, you know, like, "Where am I now?"
You know?
"What is my voice best suited for?"
You... you just have to try
a lot of things
until you find the right thing.
You have to keep going.
And I'm not... I'm not a person
who has to sound like me.
I don't care if people know it's me
in... some way.
I mean, I don't care if they go,
"Oh, that's Donna Summer"
I kinda almost don't want them to.
I want them to be surprised.
"That's Donna Summer? Wow, man,
she sounds totally different."
I think that is using your voice
as an instrument.
Do you wake up in the middle
of the night
- for example
- Yes.
- and say, "Aha. I've got an idea?"
- Yes.
Yes. Everywhere in the house, papers.
"Let's go! Don't throw that away!
Oh, my god. What happened to the...
Oh, what happened to the...
the Brillo box?
What happened..." You know.
- All right, let's do it.
- Ready?
- How does it start?
- Electricity.
Electricity
We were just jamming.
Roll tape
set up the mics, headphones.
I don't wanna be the one
To spoil the party
You know, we would just flow.
We would pick up one from the other.
We would add harmonies
when we find a little groove.
Electricity
Love that powers me
I don't ever want
This magic night to end
I don't know if I could stop
Once we get started
It was never competitive, you know?
It was completely respectful
of each other's gift.
I was always in awe of Mommy's mind.
You know, because of her persona
as, you know, sex goddess
and First Lady of Love
her artistry as a songwriter
got overlooked.
Dim all the lights
Dim all the lights
Dim all the lights, sweet darling
'Cause tonight, it's all the way
Hey, baby, turn up the old Victrola
Gonna dance the night away
Dim All the Lights is a song
that she wrote by herself
and a root issue for Donna was
when Dim All the Lights was out
and is flying up the charts
and it's in the top ten
but Neil wants to release
Enough is Enough.
And Mommy says, "No, please.
Don't release Enough is Enough yet.
Let's give Dim All the Lights
a chance to go to number one."
She's just recorded a record
with Barbra Streisand
and it will come out October 15th.
It's called Enough is Enough.
- That's news, huh?
- That's news.
- Come on. Barbra...
- You did it. You got it in.
I mean, I...
that was the whole reason...
Is that the whole reason
you were here, huh?
No. No, you... you know, just...
I thought you'd like that.
If you've had enough
Don't put up with his stuff
Don't you do it
If you've had your fill
Did she talk about that situation
with Casablanca?
For a long time, she didn't
actually believe it.
Here are these people who you...
You know, you working with them.
You love them.
You believe they have
your best interests at heart
and they do
because your best interest
is their best interest.
But... but money changes people.
Neil disregarded that request
and Enough is Enough came out
and Dim All the Lights peaked
at number two.
And I think that was the initial
feeling of, "This is not right.
Maybe this is running its course."
Two kids hanging
In an alleyway
Talking about the money
That they just found
Mommy's out weary
Trying to make a way
But Daddy
Just long's you
Tell the amount
And it's high time
That we make a change
And it's high time
That we start rearranging
Long...
Hello?
Hello, who is this?
That's bullshit.
He's profiting by me.
I can be unhappy only so long.
The record business
is really like
being raped and abused
over and over again
because the element
of your sensitivity
is beaten up on and stepped on.
I wasn't justly compensated
for what I had done.
I had sold millions of records
and not been paid for them
at that point.
We were involved from '79
in a lawsuit with Casablanca Records
because they were taking advantage.
How significant was it
for particularly a black woman
of that time to sue a label?
Certainly a high-profile situation
because it was right
at the top of her career.
We went through a major lawsuit,
and we settled
and she went on to be
the first artist signed
to Geffen Records.
Come into the light
a little bit, Donnie.
Well, this really isn't
one of my better days.
- Yeah.
- You could have filmed...
Can you get into right
into the light?
Get your face right in the light.
I wanna see you. Get in the light.
- There we go.
- You could have filmed...
Is my... is my face breaking out
over here?
I don't know.
I'm not looking that close.
- No go back, go back.
- What's the matter?
- Look at 'em. Say, "Hi." Hi.
- Hi.
Do Hard for the Money.
Sing it loud.
Hard for the money
- Good.
- She works hard for the money
So hard for it, honey
I work hard for my money
So you better treat me right
All right
I work hard... for my money
Hard... for it, honey
Hard for my money
So you better treat me right
All right?
She works hard for the money
So hard for it, honey
She works hard for the money
So you better treat her right
She Works Hard for the Money
it comes along at the right time
for women.
It was kind of like
a woman's empowerment song.
She was speaking to the worker.
She works hard for the money
So you better treat her right
It was the night of the Grammys
and we were in Los Angeles.
I was on my way into the ladies room
with my manager.
As I walked in, there was this
little lady sitting in the corner.
This sweet woman
here was sound asleep.
Yeah, and I looked at her,
and I thought to myself
"Wow, she works hard for the money."
And I thought it again to myself,
"She works hard for the money."
And I thought,
"She works hard for the money.
She works hard for the money."
And I thought, "Wow, that's it.
That's a song, Susan.
I'm gonna sit down and write it."
So I went in the other room,
and I sat right there
and I started writing it.
She didn't even know
anything about it.
Not until much later.
- Right?
- Right. That's true.
I say it's wonderful, believe me.
I think it's like a fairy tale to me.
I can't believe it. I really can't.
- You seem very proud.
- I am. I'm very proud.
She was the first female black artist
to ever have a video on MTV.
She works hard for the money
So hard for it, honey
She works hard for the money
So you better treat her right
When people come up to you
what song do they
most identify you with?
Is it still Love to Love You Baby
in... in spite of everything
you've done?
- Hard for the Money.
- Hard for the Money?
The women. The women
That's right.
- The men...
- And the men...
The men, yeah.
Love to Love You Baby, probably.
They go, "Oh, I just remember
when you sang that song...
Ooh... What was it?"
You know, they start...
their bodies start moving like this.
They go...
I've got to fan myself now.
My life just sort of started
to quiet down.
One of the things that happened
was that I... I married Bruce.
It was also this time when I started
becoming the most spiritual.
I had to make a decision
about being a mother
and how much a mother
I was going to be.
There's just nothing in my life
that's worth more to me
than my jewels.
My children are my jewels
and my husband and... my family.
I loved to perform, you know,
and that's extremely important
but it doesn't bring me
what they bring me.
The ranch was the dream childhood.
It was 56 acres of dirt roads
horses, and pigs, and cows.
It was full of imagination,
and fun, and adventure.
It was kind of the best
possible place to grow up.
Together
Together
Together
Together
I just remember,
by the time I was born
that family was kind
of the most important thing.
The fame was kind of like
an offshoot.
Tonight
Walking in a winter wonderland
Gone away...
She was always performing.
She lived in an imaginary
musical at all times.
We sing a love song as we go along
Walking in
A winter wonderland
Walking in
A winter wonderland
Winter wonder
Winter wonderland
Winter wonder
Wonder, wonderland
I like Bruce.
I like... liked him a lot.
When they got together
they wrote amazing music
and I felt like there was, like
this love connection that was deep.
But they were just...
That was just a bumpy damn ride.
They were like oil and vinegar.
But they came together
and made salad dressing.
My recollection
of our relationship early on
was that it was volatile.
We were young.
We were both confident,
and cocky, aggressive
a little stupid, passionate.
Coming from two different cultures
not understanding
each other's cultures.
We were fire.
In public, screaming at each other
"You can't fucking talk
to me like..."
I just remember that
they had a fight,
and, like, throwing pots.
And at that point,
Mom had already called the cops.
And we all went
to my grandmother's house.
I remember wanting to, like...
run and protect her.
And I've done that before.
I was dealing
with a lot of my own abuse.
We'd be at the house
and stuff would happen there.
And it was someone related
to our housekeeper at the ranch.
I would often be out in the fields
'cause I didn't wanna be any place
that I could be trapped.
It was traumatic for me to leave
my grandparents and go there
'cause I knew what might be in store.
It wasn't until
I was 11 and a half, 12
when I finally
sort of moved in full time.
And I'll have to be honest
the only reason I stayed
was because of you guys.
I said, "I can't leave Brooklyn
and Amanda."
I didn't know that, Mim.
I had a lot of pent-up anger
and resentment.
I always had to be so careful
because she's Donna Summer.
And what if I say something
and then it gets out?
When I finally told Ma
I was 19, I think.
Mom, she hyperventilated.
Had to leave the room.
You know, in order for you
to really communicate with somebody
and talk to them heart-to-heart
you have to really be vulnerable
and I think Mommy had
a hard time being vulnerable.
It was a difficult thing
for Mommy to deal with with Mimi
because of her own situation.
The sexual abuse
and her own, maybe, sense of failing.
I mean, I felt it. How could I...
How... how did I, as a dad,
allow this to happen?
But I don't think
you've ever said that to Mimi.
- Probably not.
- Yeah.
- Yeah. Probably not.
- Yeah.
These are all signed.
I always felt like
when she was painting
she was, like, really in her space.
Whatever she was feeling that day
would come out on the canvas
and really helped her to release
a lot of whatever anxiety and tension
and whatever else
that she was feeling.
I was inspired by my children.
There was color around me.
I started finding my way back
to other creative aspects
of my own personality.
Someone found the letter
You wrote me on the radio
And they told the world
Just how you felt
It must have fallen out of a hole
In your old, brown overcoat
They never said your name
But I knew just who they meant
You know, when I go on stage,
I don't go home with anything.
I go home empty-handed.
But when I paint
I have a tangible product
that's the direct result
of my solo effort.
The agents aren't talking.
The record company isn't saying,
"Hey, these songs suck."
So creatively,
I am completely free to be myself.
When you first appeared
in this country
many critics said
"One song, she'll be gone soon."
And you have outlasted
many of those critics.
How much satisfaction do you take
in having turned
their predictions wrong?
Well, it's great to, you know
to succeed when others
are not on your side.
It's even greater to know
that God's on your side
and nobody can be against you
when He is.
You know, I think that's what...
I've always been
very strong in faith.
And, I mean, the possibilities of...
of a black girl from Boston
going to Germany
becoming successful
in the American pop field
is like a... a million to one shot.
The sun is shining
Oh, for me each day
'Cause I found the answer
And I learned
To
Pray
Let them like our performance, Lord.
Let them like our performance, Lord.
- Thank you, Jesus.
- Thank you, Jesus. Thank you.
Oh, God, in Jesus' name, praise You.
Amen!
How did you become a Christian?
How did... how did it happen?
How did it happen?
- It happened one day.
- It kinda happened...
It happens, yeah.
You know what? I think people get
to a place in their lives where
well, especially
when you are successful
and you've...
and you've reached your goals
and you realize that...
that there's nothing there.
It's empty.
It's the same old room.
It could be anywhere in the world.
It could be with anyone in the world.
It could be the same meal.
It can be the same million cults.
It could be a million diamond rings.
It doesn't mean anything.
You know, you get to a point
where you realize that
"What happens after this?"
The born again.
As extreme as
I might have been thinking
at the time that it was
it benefited Donna.
That little church girl
was foundational to who she was.
All these things
that she had been carrying
from being abused by a pastor
when you were a young girl.
This struggle of... of God,
and man, and sex.
Religion and spirituality
brought her a great amount of peace.
In the last few years
my life has changed, drastically.
It has changed in a way
that I would like to share with you.
See, about three years ago,
I gave my life to Jesus Christ.
And, no...
I'm not ashamed to tell it.
Every day
I give you a reason to cry
'Cause I see the hurt in your eyes
But stronger yet
I see the love that shines
Brooklyn, you know Mommy.
Whenever she got into anything
it was a hundred and ten percent.
And then, she would wanna share it
with everybody.
Not everybody wanted
to hear a sermon.
Not everybody wanted
to be preached to.
People wanted to dance at a party.
Yeah!
All right!
"Where's that girl?
Where's that girl, huh?
I paid $12 for this ticket
and I want her
to work for it," right?
Don't you realize that
I had two children in two years?
I work so hard.
Donna had very loose parameters
of a script of how
her show was gonna go.
There were certain pattern
that she knew worked
that she would use night after night
but she was also spontaneous
in the moment.
- Woman
- Woman
Treat that man real good
She could make a comment
about something in the news
the color of the shirt
of the guy in the front row.
But now she says this thing
"God didn't make Adam and Steve.
He made Adam and Eve."
- God, he made the woman
- Yes, indeed
God, he made the man
And this was a comment
that was devastating
to many in the gay community.
The "Adam and Steve" thing
I find it insulting.
It was like I couldn't believe
that she would have said that.
For me, the relationship
that I had with your mom
was really through her music.
The songs that we all came out to.
And as a gay man
it rubbed me the wrong way.
And I thought, "I don't need
to support this anymore."
A lot of gay people already feel
like the church hates them.
And so what happened was
there was another mindset of
"Oh, she became one of those...
those people who hate us."
Their perception
of what they thought she meant.
It was like, "You shouldn't exist."
At some point, I think
we made a wrong decision
and that decision was not to respond.
We kinda figured,
"Oh, it'll go away."
But it didn't go away, and...
and we had to pay that price.
And... and it was...
it was a big price to pay.
What's happened with this comment?
Well, at some point,
it went from this comment
into Mommy supposedly saying
that AIDS was
God's punishment on gays
and that just was never the case.
Educate, don't speculate
- AIDS
- Be safe. Fight now
AIDS, educate, don't speculate
- AIDS
- Be safe. Fight now
I remember a situation
that she was doing
an art event in Chicago.
We're here. We're queer.
The ACT UP people
their intent was to go in
and destroy all the art exhibit.
And ACT UP was adamant about saying
"Well, listen.
This is a person that we loved
and adored, and supported
and she turned her back on us."
I remember
people were canceling shows.
It was definitely a strain on her.
It was a time when I think she really
had to learn to rely on faith.
That hurt her the most
because she felt like
"They're gonna think I really said
those things.
They're gonna think I feel
that way about them, and I don't."
The magazine stated that
I said homosexuals were sinners
and AIDS was a divine ruling.
That is completely false.
I did not say it.
I do not believe that.
I would never say the things
attributed to me in that article.
These were people that she loved.
And for her to be viewed as somebody
who would cause them more pain
It's something I... I don't think
she ever got over.
Do you feel that Mom
came to terms with her life?
The struggles,
the fear, the insecurity?
I don't know
if she came to terms fully.
I mean,
I think she was getting better.
When you're holding
a mirror up to yourself
and you're getting to see
all these avenues
of like an extension of yourself.
Your children
kind of growing and flourishing
- that brings something out of you
- Hey, guys, how you doing?
and it makes you have
to address certain things.
So I think she was getting there.
I think she was working
through certain things.
Yeah, baby...
I can see the shape of the world
Planet Earth below
To be honest with you
the fact that she got lung cancer
was very interesting to me.
For someone who fully used
their voice in so many ways
to not fully use their voice
in other ways
she carried so much for so long
that her body couldn't do it anymore.
Thousands of miles away
From who knows where
Who knows where...
There was a certain amount,
of not denial, but non-acceptance.
Donna never talked about her dying
or what would happen if she died.
Or that she was gonna die.
We never had that conversation.
We never spoke those words.
The fact that we didn't discuss it
did not make the obvious nature
of what was happening invisible.
She didn't want to give death power
by even speaking about it
or mentioning it.
Daddy, what... what day is today?
Today is December 25th, 2011
heading into a much
sunnier year of 2012.
- Yup, amen.
- Amen.
- Hallelujah.
- Amen, hallelujah.
- Mommy! Merry Christmas.
- Merry Christmas.
Is there a remedy
For the passions of the soul
Brother, if there is one
I don't really know.
May... may I say
I... I wanna get mushy
because I... I realized something.
I've been in therapy, you know.
For all the six months...
No, seriously.
- I can relate.
- I really like making jokes
about things,
and not confronting the issue.
And so tonight, I would not like
to make a joke of anything.
I would like to confront the issue
and say that I...
I do dearly love everybody here.
And regardless to the changes that
we have gone through in this life
I know...
Hallelujah, don't let me
start preaching...
that...
we're all together for a reason.
- Amen.
- Amen.
- Amen.
- And I do hope that...
that I was able
to bring something to your life
and get something from your life
- that is irreplaceable.
- Amen.
Oh, Lord!
Mommy, I love you.
I'm gonna see you soon.
And I'm gonna perform for you.
Watching raindrops
Slowly falling
Painting pictures
On the window pane
Feelings my heart cannot...
There were times
in the middle of the night
when she would say stuff.
She would say,
"I don't like to be alone, Mimi."
When she woke up one night,
she was really having a hard night.
I said, "Ma, what's the matter?"
And she's like, "I just..."
And she's like, "I can't sleep.
I'm just so... I can't settle down."
I started to rub her back.
She was pretty tiny at that point.
I put my arm across her chest,
and she fell asleep.
So I scooped her up onto my lap
and I just kept rubbing her back.
That moment for me was like...
She was a baby.
It was like she just was
fully vulnerable, like
"Just hold me."
I think the most profound thing
is her allowing us to love her.
Yes.
Because in that moment,
she couldn't give us anything.
No, she had to only receive.
She could only receive.
It wasn't until she was
on her deathbed
that she finally understood
that I really loved her.
She looks at me
and she says, "You are my heart."
All right, well...
If there is music there
I'll have to go
Never been anything in my life
That I wanted more
This is my greatest fear
That I'm losing you my dear
It's more than I want to give
But if there is music there
If there is music there
I have to know
Never met anyone
Who could take music
Out of my soul
There's something deep inside
That I no longer want to hide
My love you would never share
If there is music there
I'm so sorry honey.
- I'm losing you
- See, I... I always... I loved you.
I did love you
- I'm losing you
- but I just have to go.
Sunset People, take two.
For sunset
Riot house
Now what camera?
Should I just face forward?
Yes, face forward. Rewind her.
It's too much light.
You're bleaching away my color.
Fix it in the mix.
You've never had your hair done
by a sailor before, huh?
Yes.
- Excuse me.
- One, two, three, four.
Who are these places?
What are these faces?
Yes, I'm giving up
all your love for me.
Don't let it throw you.
Come on. Let me show.
What are these places?
Whose are these faces?
Translator: IYUNO
I know when to come in.
I'll count. I'll count.
One, two.
One, two, three, four.
Oooh, love to love you, baby
Oooh, love to love you, baby
Oooh, love to love you, baby
Oooh, love to love you, baby
Oooh, love to love you, baby
Oooh, love to love you, baby
Oooh, love to love you, baby
Oooh, love to love you, baby
Do it to me again and again
You put me in such an awful spin
In a spin in
Oooh, love to love you, baby
Oooh, love to love you, baby
Oooh, love to love you, baby
It's so good...
Ooh, heaven knows
Heaven knows...
Ooh, I feel love
I feel love...
I feel love
I feel love
I have a secret life.
You're looking at me,
but what you see is not what I am.
How many roles do I play
in my own life?
Who is she?
When I
Believe in miracles that happen
You wanna sing now?
You want me to do the camera?
- Yup.
- Okay, you sing.
Is this Brooklyn?
Yes.
Oh, Brooklyn.
How you doing today?
Hey, Auntie Mary.
I'm calling because
I may need some help.
I'm trying to figure out
the many pieces
of who Mom really was.
You know, she...
was complicated
and struggled with her fame
her... her image.
And even love.
- What do you see?
- People.
- Yeah.
- Hi, people.
Boo boo, how you doing?
Fine
- Is it working?
- Yeah.
Mom, may I see, too?
Not right now.
Go out and play.
- Dance. I gotta get you.
- What's your name?
Brooklyn.
I'm four.
- What's your name?
- Amanda.
- How old are you?
- Two.
- And a half.
- When's your birthday?
Five.
- And what's your name?
- Mimi.
Move your arms, Mimi,
as much as you can.
- I can't see.
- Well, squinch.
Come on.
Growing up, I was in the studio
with Mom all night long.
We'd go to sleep on the couch
in the engineering room.
It was sort of a rollercoaster ride
for everyone.
She was really famous,
and everyone wanted her.
There was this element of her
always having to be public.
But Mommy was a very private
person in a lot of ways.
With Mom
a lot of her life revolved
around privacy and secrecy.
We were never allowed in her room.
The door was always locked.
We would find out things
by reading newspaper articles
they had clipped out
and hidden in places.
I actually remember the first time
that we heard Love to Love You.
Didn't even know it existed.
Brooklyn came in the room
and was like
"Have I got a song for you to hear!"
When I wrote Love to Love You Baby
I did not write it to be a song.
I wrote it as a concept
for someone else to write a lyric to.
Oh, love to love you baby
I just made up a voice
and kinda tried to create a vibe.
Amanda, remember when we were like
"Who is this woman?"
I mean, I don't think
she had any idea
that this vibe was gonna
completely change her life.
Love to Love You Baby
was becoming, like, this world symbol
of freedom, of liberation.
Things would begin to happen.
People would begin to, you know,
like, rip their clothes off
and throw them on the stage
and bras, underwear.
They didn't know
it was gonna be, like, that racy.
The audience would get
completely uncontrollable.
And it... was kinda terrifying.
It wasn't me,
and it was something I was playing.
It was a role.
Everyone that knew me
would call me up and say
"That... that's not you, is it?"
Then I would say, "Yeah, that's me."
And they would just say,
"Nah, come on."
What's hot right now? Disco?
Disco is a phenomenon.
It's... it's the hottest thing
that has hit the music business.
I mean, millions and millions
of records are selling
and Donna is the biggest.
Was it tough to get her
that first hit
or did... or did one thing happen
that you... that you knew
that put her over the top?
- Give me an example.
- Okay, Donna...
Donna was a star in Europe.
She was not doing
disco-oriented records.
She had a... an idea
and she recorded
Love to Love You Baby
which was a three-minute-
and-20-second record.
They brought it to me
after it had failed in Europe
and I listened to it and I loved it.
And I put it out here
and nothing happened.
About a month later
I was playing it at a party
I had at my house
and someone said
"Play that again."
I put it back on
and the record finished
and someone said, "Play that again."
I said, "The record's too short.
They keep asking for more."
So I went upstairs,
and I called Germany
where the record was produced,
and I said
"Give me a 20-minute version."
What we did is we came up
with a... a promotional idea.
If we can get some radio stations
to play just at midnight
and say, "Tune in
for 20 minutes of love."
I was at the house listening to it
and realized, "Wait a minute.
That's... that's Donna.
That's my sister.
She said she was gonna be famous
and she did it.
She's on the radio."
Unknown singer Donna Summer
recorded a song
I Love To Love You Baby.
It started a new phase
in the recording industry
Sex Rock.
I actually believe that
it was pretty much the gay community
that broke that record.
I heard it the first time
while I was listening
to underground radio.
Like a college station
that played stuff
that you could not play
in the daytime.
I don't know. It was probably
about twelve-thirty, one o'clock.
And I hear this song come on.
A controversial record has been
making radio executives nervous
all over the world.
It was banned recently by
the BBC in England
and in spite of that,
it's sold over 1 million albums.
Oh, my god, this is...
I'm listening to Love to Love You
and I'm like, and it's going on
and on...
And I'm like, "Oh, my god.
I think this is the record
that she said
that wasn't gonna sound like her."
And Grandma said
"I'm never gonna be able
to go to church again."
She knew that I was gonna be
shocked, okay?
And to say the least
I was shocked
because in my heart
I always wanted her to be
a gospel singer.
When Donna sang in church
it would give you a vibrating
feeling that you know, you...
they give you something that...
well, that, to me, no other singer
that I heard in the church, gave me.
It started really with my dad.
He used to get me and...
and make me come to the living room
and he says, "Listen.
Listen to this record
and sing just like this record."
Elijah Rock shout, shout
Elijah Rock coming up Lord
Elijah Rock shout, shout
Elijah Rock coming up Lord
I listened to Mahalia Jackson
and... and said
"You know, she... somehow,
she has what I want."
I would just listen
and listen for hours.
Elijah
Elijah
Our favorite way to spend our time
was putting on shows
on the front porch or the back stoop.
And when the neighbors
would hear you singing
they would stop on their way home.
Hallelujah!
Elijah Rock, shout...
Elijah Rock coming up, Lord!
Boston in the 1950s
was not a friendly
city to people of color.
We were black.
Anything could happen to you.
Kids from the other part
of the project
the white part, as we used to call it
would beat on us and tell us
we were not welcome in their area.
One day
one of the kids chased us
back to our part of the projects
and there was a wire
strung from one fence to another.
I saw it. I went under it
and I turned and looked
and Donna had hit it with her chin.
She had that little clip on her chin
and it never went away.
Tell everybody
He's been a rock and a shelter for me
I felt like I was barred for life
and there was never gonna be a way
that I would ever be attractive.
Feeling ugly, feeling inadequate.
- I was scarred.
- Elijah Rock
I'm coming up
Elijah...
When I was about eight years old
one of the ladies
in my church got sick
and she was supposed to sing.
The minister came to me
and he said, "Can you sing today?"
I was petrified. I mean, petrified.
But I got up anyway,
and I stood up to sing.
And all of a sudden, this voice
came out that I didn't know.
It just came outta me.
And everyone in my family
will remember this
because they all were...
everybody was in tears.
I was in tears,
and my family was in tears.
Everyone in the whole church
was in tears.
And it was a... a striking feeling
of "God, I'm blessed.
I know I'm gonna be famous," and...
Once upon a time, once upon a time
Once upon a time, once upon a time
Auntie Mary
Mom was a dreamer.
You know, she could shapeshift
in and out of characters.
How did this show up
in her performances?
Donna's shows were theatrical.
There was always a story.
There was a heroine.
There was a problem.
And in the end, she overcame.
She thought in theater.
Once upon a time...
in the land of Never Never...
there lived a little girl
who believes
that all things were possible.
I know a lot of people won't think
that she was a forerunner
but she really was.
She was thinking about things
outside of the box
- that they wanted to keep her in.
- Do you want me in here?
- She wasn't having it.
- Somebody, please let me out!
- I'll keep running
- By her stepping out in those areas
it did allow other people of color
to step out of the box
that they had her in.
Hey, you better get me out.
I can't breathe. I need help.
It seems like the whole world's
closing in on me
Please, somebody help
I thought that, you know,
if you really were a star
you had to be on
The Johnny Carson Show
so that was... it was always
my biggest dream.
I said, "I know I'm a star
when I've done
The Johnny Carson Show."
What do you see down the road?
Picture yourself that maybe...
maybe you'd have... would have
successful recordings now?
- You like to...
- Developing.
You know, I'm... I'm studying
to become a director myself
so I have my own little video studio
set up at home.
Yeah, that's super.
Somebody told me you had made...
- Any actors out there?
- Yeah.
No, you know what he's like.
You're not interviewing.
- You're the husband.
- All right, Mary
well, push over, just a hair.
When you're on the road for
a long time or you might have
a day off between another show
and you're stuck in a hotel
in Podunk, Iowa
you find things to do.
And God help us.
Donna bought herself a camera
a movie camera.
And she was expecting us
to make movies.
No, you didn't.
Now, you know what we go through
every single night.
She would direct us
and, "Do this and do that."
And we all played the game.
Some of it was funny
and some of it, it got us in trouble.
You better get away from my camera.
You wanna leave
for California tomorrow, don't you?
And so it was like
"I'm never doing that again.
I'm not doing it."
She's like, "Come on.
Come on, Mary. Come on."
And she was fun, and...
and she was funny.
Well, I get vibration.
You're going to go far away one day.
You watch. You see.
You're going to be very, very famous.
I'm telling you.
But could you just tell me about
what's gonna happen next week?
Next week, you're gonna have to
finish up something
you started this week.
But that's... but that's so general.
That's $2.
Like...
- Are you married?
- No.
You will be married.
You're going to take a journey.
You wanna know where you gonna go?
No, I wanna know what school
I'm gonna get in before this.
What the fuck? You gotta be...
You're gonna go far away,
across the sea, in the air.
When she was in high school
she started working with a band
called The Crow.
She would sneak out a lot at night
and go sing in clubs.
Oh, you made me feel so bad
All the band was white.
I was "the crow."
And they really wanted her
to be like the black Janis Joplin.
You know what I mean?
So after, I think she heard the way
Janis Joplin sang
she felt like, "I can do this."
Come on...
Come on, and take it
Take another little piece
Of my heart now, baby
You know, coming out of church
and... and seeing Janis Joplin
this wild-haired woman with no bra on
and... and literally a jug of whiskey
in her hand.
I hadn't ever been exposed
to something like that.
I mean, that just was not proper.
I remember getting a spanking
for wearing red fingernail polish
because to my father,
red fingernail polish meant...
That was what whores wore,
in his mind.
We wore slips, and more slips,
and girdles
and it just don't jiggle.
Can't understand
Why this whole world
Keeps pulling me down
To the ground
There was a lot of pressure
in being a black woman.
A lot of pressure.
Being a woman is bad enough.
And being a black woman
was like a double whammy.
Summer of '68, I was 19 years old
I was in sort of a limbo state.
I originally went outta Boston to...
to pursue a singing career
in New York with my band.
So here I am.
I'm in New York, and, you know
I feel a little bit freer
than I feel in Boston.
I don't have anybody
looking over my shoulder.
Feeling like, you know, there was
a future waiting for me somewhere
and I just needed to discover
what key it was
that was gonna turn the lock
that was gonna open the door
to that future.
There was just music pouring out
of every doorway
and you became part of
this whole tapestry of movement
that was happening in the country
you know,
enjoying the whole environment
of just being kind of a hippie.
I'm trying to figure out
what's going on in my life.
I lived above the Cafe Wha?
on the top floor
with a couple of people.
The director of Hair came
to the house
with the girl that I live with.
I happened to be singing
around the house at the time
and he heard me and he said
"Well, I'm having an audition
on Thursday
would you come down?"
And that was the turning point.
Within two weeks, I was out of it.
I went to Germany.
Wenn der Mond
Im siebten Hause steht
Und Jupiter auf Mars zugeht
Being 19 years old in Germany
and coming of age
having the hippie revolution
kind of on my heels
and being a person
who is craving change
was a door to an entire reality.
There were really kinda no limits.
Sort of newfound freedom.
Being in Germany
gave me license to be myself
and I hadn't had that license before.
For the first time
she was accepted in a way
that we were never accepted
in America.
Blacks were at a premium.
They saw you walking down
the street and said
"Oh, we've gotta have that."
I got a lot of press
because at that time
there were very few
black women in Germany.
You were just constantly on display
no matter where you went,
no matter what you did.
It was just an open door.
I was tall and very thin at the time
and there were
a lot of photographers there
and I just got a lot of work.
- Helmuth.
- Yeah.
I wanna know
how you actually got together.
I met Donna during the musical, Hair.
Of course I was attracted.
Donna had the best voice
so everybody was admiring
this gift that she had.
We were just in kind of a love
for each other.
This is the feeling
that I remember a lot.
She was really a funny girl
when she was in a good mood.
When Mimi was born
Donna's reaction was
a little bit kind of distanced.
I was never that maternal.
I never actually thought I would ever
have kids until I had one.
I just... It just was... It was...
There was...
there was too much fire in me.
When I was born
Mommy was ready to break out.
Her dream was just bigger.
She knew more was on the horizon
and you could not contain her.
So they separated when I was two.
I pretty much stayed
with my grandparents after that.
I went through a manner
of manic depression
to be the one to have to say,
"I'm leaving."
The guilt of that was so strong.
I'm taking my daughter's father away.
Donna Summer!
They call her
The lady of the night
She's a woman of the world
I had started to record some...
what the Germans call Schlager songs
kind of corny, bubblegummy
for the European market.
So I had kind of developed
a little bit of a career.
Oooh, something coming over me...
I remember calling her
and... and she was in Munich
and saying, "Are you sexy?"
And she went, "I don't know."
"Could we spotlight you in Playboy?"
And she went, "Oh, absolutely not."
You know, she was living
a very kinda quiet life
in... in Munich.
And when we brought her over
to New York
we brought her over as a major star.
I came up with
"The First Lady of Love" for Donna.
That's what Neil was selling.
You're gonna make love
to this wonderful record
Love to Love You Baby.
Neil looked out for every
aspect of my career
that every hair is in place
every smile is right.
"We're gonna give you
the best of everything.
You're gonna look like
you're already rich."
I mean, if I was getting ready
to go on stage
and my nail polish wasn't on my feet,
and somebody was late
he was on his knees.
I kid you not.
He taught me how to dream
on a whole other level.
I didn't have very many friends.
Most of the people
that I was friends with at the time
were in some way involved
in the record business.
So Casablanca
because that was my whole world.
Neil wanted to make it
really special for Donna
so he brought her mom and dad
and her sisters and her brother
to her New York debut.
It was opposite
of the culture of our family.
She was really never that sexy,
sultry person.
But even though that persona
they had given it to her
that persona was the door
that took her where she needed to go.
Well, obviously,
America was ready for it.
Was Donna Summer ready
for the stardom name in lights
bodyguards?
Yeah, I have a very hard time,
not being myself.
And there are times
when you can't be yourself
and you can't be
the way you'd like to be.
And that's goofy, or funny
or whatever you are as a human being
as a person offstage.
So what I'm trying to do more
and more now
is to become myself on stage
so that when I'm offstage,
it doesn't matter.
And so that the same person
you meet in this room
is the same person onstage.
- Fever
- Summer
- Summer fever
- Fever
It's the time of love
The time of year
Temperatures rising
Our bodies near in fever
Summer
Summer fever
Fever
Giorgio, growing up,
my mom always spoke
about how important you were
to her life.
How did you guys meet?
We were looking for
some American or English singers
for a demo.
Donna came, and we did the vocals
and we were very happy.
So I started working with Giorgio
and this is the beginning
of a great relationship.
Giorgio really took me under his wing
even before I had a hit record.
He was like a mentor.
He was a redeeming factor in my life
from some of the abusive men
or men figures that I had had
in the past
or people I had chosen to trust
who were not worthy of that trust.
Georgio was the antithesis of that.
- You wanna put a fender on?
- A fender, yes.
- Make it a little fuller?
- Yeah.
I had a... I had
a very close relationship with her.
She definitely trusted us.
And in fact, whatever we did,
we did well.
I came up with the...
with Georgio with the...
I feel love
It fit well.
Which just changed the face
of music for a while.
I mean, I figure it was like
maybe a year or two
after Love To Love You Baby.
I said, "Wow, great.
This is totally new."
When I went in to do it
I had the sense that I was floating.
And that's what we wanted to maintain
that floaty kind of
that elation that you feel
when you're in love.
That kind of...
I think it's probably one
of the most innovative songs around.
I feel love
This was the very first
drum machine click trick
ever used in music.
We weren't listening
to what other people were doing
and trying to emulate.
We were forging ahead.
It sounds grandiose,
but I think others were following.
Whatever dance songs came up
later on with electronics
is based on... on I Feel Love.
I remember when I Feel Love came on
at Studio 54
you just stopped in your tracks.
"What is this?"
People screamed.
It just went on and on and on
and you didn't want it to stop.
It sounded like no other record.
It changed the way people
thought about music.
I feel love...
I feel love
I feel love
I feel love
Where do you feel you stand now?
I hope I stand
in a light of legitimacy, I think.
In a place where people will respect
what I do
and understand that any...
any songs that I make
I do because I choose to
and not because
that is my limitation.
How long are you going
to maintain this... this image
that's based on
Love to Love You Baby?
Well, I think I've deviated
from that path already.
I won't even... You know
I hate for it to sound like I'm...
I'm running away from anything
because I'm really not.
I think it's more like...
I'm growing and...
It's like looking at a flower
in the bud
and you first see the bud,
and you say
"Wow, fantastic,
the trees are budding."
And then you go back,
and the leaves are out.
And then finally, there's a flower.
And I feel that
when I came to America
I was in the budding stage.
And maybe I'm springing a leaf
about now
and maybe one day, I'll be a blossom.
Hey, Chico!
Get out of the way!
Get outta the way!
Hey, jerk! I listen to my music!
Hey, I listen to my music!
- Disco been very good to me!
- Yeah!
- Get outta the way!
- Oh, shut up!
If you feel it, feel it right
You got to feel it every night
- Feel that
- And if you feel it, feel it right
You got to feel it every night, yeah
Well, if you feel it, feel it so good
You got to feel it like you should
- Feel that
- And if you feel it, feel it good
- You got to feel it like you should
- Feel that
Take it down, boys. Now...
do you love somebody?
Does everybody here
have somebody they love?
No?
Well, love me for right now, okay?
Just give me a little bit of love
and let me see you stand up.
Stand up out your seats. Come on.
Now let's shake those hips.
Come on. Oh, yeah.
Do you believe in love?
Do you believe in love?
Do you believe in love?
Do you believe in love?
Do you believe in love?
Do you believe in love?
Do you believe in love?
Come on shake your hand now.
Do you believe in love?
Come on.
Feel it
Oh, yeah
- Feel it. Feel it
- Feel it
Thank you for coming tonight.
I'm happy to see you.
Thank you for coming.
Thank you, and I love you, too.
Thank you for coming.
Thank you so much.
When you have success
all over the world
and it's very constant, you have it.
It's all the time.
It's everywhere you go.
It's like you never get a break.
I didn't dream about fame that way.
I dreamt about singing.
Whenever I dreamt about fame,
it was being on stage.
It wasn't the accolades and all
the people screaming "I love you."
So when that part came into it
it... it threw me for a loop
because I really didn't have
to deal with that.
We did a demo of Bad Girls,
everything was done.
The song was finished.
We listened to it
over and over again.
I'm like, "There is something
missing to this song."
I think this song needs a hook.
I said, "I got this idea
this imagery of,
'How do you haul a hooker?'"
You're honking your horn.
You're trying to get her attention.
It's like, "Over here."
- Bad girls
- Bad girls
- Talking about the sad girls, yes
- Sad girls
- Bad girls
- Bad girls
Talking about sad girls, yeah
See them out on the street at night
Picking up all kinds of strangers
If the price is right
You can score if your pocket's nice
But you want a good time
Everybody's sang in my family.
My father sang. My mother sang.
Every time my father had company
or my mother had company
my mother would call me
and my sisters into the room
to perform
and they would just go crazy.
So... so we had these
sort of little outlets
of performing a bit of an idea
or insight
as to what it was like
to have people applaud for you.
We did impersonations
as much as we could.
Thank you, ladies and gentlemen.
We will be back tomorrow night.
See you again. We hope...
Do you live here in California?
I live about,
I think, 40,000 ft above.
Usually in one direction
or the other.
- I... I haven't been home at all.
- You're always in a plane.
Yeah. I haven't been home. Maybe
two-and-a-half months this year.
I'm always amazed
at the amount of songs she released
the press that she did, the tours
from like 1976 to like 1980.
I don't know how she survived it.
During that time
when she was really first famous
I think she knew
that was a part of the game.
I think she understood that
that came with the territory.
And so she... she marched it.
It wasn't that she loved it all.
She just tried to keep her sanity.
How do you think she felt
about the title "Queen of Disco?"
I know she would say, "Hey
it's better to be the queen
of something," you know.
But in some ways, it was love-hate
because, "Yeah, I love disco.
Disco got me here.
But that's not all of who I am."
I had done all those songs
in this made-up voice
so people thought,
"Oh, well, she's a fad.
Oh, she can't really sing.
This girl doesn't sing.
What's the big deal about her?"
You know, you can look at somebody
who's talented
and... and you can know
that they're capable of 20 things
but the audience
doesn't know that yet.
And I always take it
from that point of view
that they just don't know me yet.
That's okay.
Spring was never waiting for us, dear
It ran one step ahead
As we followed in
The dance
Between the parted pages
We were pressed
In love's hot, fevered iron
Like a striped pair of pants
MacArthur's Park is melting
In the dark
All the sweet green icing
Flowing down
Someone left my cake out in the rain
I don't think that I can take it
'Cause it took too long to bake it
And I'll never have that recipe again
Again
All right.
Best Rhythm and Blues
Vocal Performance Female is...
Donna Summer.
And the winner is Donna Summer.
Donna Summer.
- Donna Summer.
- Live and More.
I knew it. Donna Summer.
All right.
Now, ladies and gentlemen
we're having a moment
of station identification.
We remember so well
the days of lipstick and women.
Well, those were the days
when women used to not smear it on.
They used to molest the lipstick.
I was always a comedian.
I was always a clown.
So becoming Donna Summer
the character
I didn't feel sexy at the time
and so I just assumed it as a role.
This time that I spent away from home
away from the mindset
that I grew up in
away from what should be
away from how I should be
is what has made me what I am
and has given me my individuality
away from all of the predictable.
And so I'm unpredictable
and that... that stresses
the crap outta people.
Do you feel like
you're handling your success now?
Sometimes. Shaky. Yeah. Shaky.
I think the part that I really have
to deal with the most is my daughter.
Is she with your folks?
She's with my parents
in... in Massachusetts.
And what is so hard
about it is that
as much as I miss her
and as much as
I want to be with her
as soon as she's there
I have to go back to her way.
It's a constant adjustment.
So the first couple of days,
it's I have to become a parent again.
And the responsibility of that
and the weight of that is...
is immense.
I could tell
that she was trying hard.
She would be like,
"Okay, Mimi let's go play outside.
I'm gonna make you breakfast."
And I knew that that was something
that she didn't do often.
So for me, I always felt like,
"Wow, she's really trying."
She's trying to make time.
She's trying to carve time out.
When I would be alone with her
we would go to bed or something.
I'd sleep in the bed with her,
and she would just be exhausted.
You could just see it in her face.
It wasn't just like, "I'm tired."
It was like a soul weariness, though.
It almost made me sad for her.
I get to go back
to my grandparents' house
and have a normal life
but she is getting pulled
in every direction.
Donna was trying to navigate
being a mother and be a good mother.
But to know that you have a destiny
in this arena
and yet you have this responsibility
that is important to you
there's no examples as to how
to make that balance correct.
Donna's decision to have
Mom and Dad take care of her
was one which she knew
she would be loved
she knew she'd be nurtured
and she knew she'd be safe.
I don't think you understand
what it's like being the daughter
of someone who is always gone.
My daughter looked up at me
one day last week
and she said, "Mommy
when are you
just gonna stay home one day
and be with me?"
And I didn't realize
that I hadn't spent any time with her
for a long time.
So I sat down and wrote this song
after she went to bed
and I told her tonight,
when it was bedtime
I would sing her a song.
I bet you ask yourself
Why I'm never there
It's not because I like being away
You see
I've made a spectacle of myself
And it seems
That the whole world needs me
I understand when you cry alone
And mama's not there
To wipe your eyes
When I heard the Mimi song,
it was like, "Oh, my gosh."
I was like,
"She wrote a song for me."
She really feels this way about me.
Someone to make you proud
There was such a great bond
that it had created
that song
just to spend the time with her doing
what she does
and being with her.
I just remember feeling elated
as a kid.
With so much love
Come on, Mimi.
'Cause you're lovely
'Cause you're lovely
And you're beautiful
And you understand
- Say good night to everyone.
- Good night.
Money and success
does not make you happy.
I know it for a fact
because for me,
the most dismal days of my existence
were at the height of my career.
It was like wearing an evening gown
that was too tight, you know?
You know, everything was popping out
and I needed more space.
I saw the self I was striving to be.
All of a sudden,
it seemed further away than ever.
Feeling guilty, or feeling shame
or feeling all the things
that had been part of my life.
I was molested by a minister
when I was in my teens.
It's not pain
I could have spoken about.
But it's something that I have to
always incorporate into my reality.
Uncle Ricky.
Mom never talked about
being abused by the pastor with me.
Did she ever talk to you about it?
Yes.
He did a lot of
damage to a lot of people.
Did the devil's work
better than most.
I believe... I believe that...
it became a defining moment
in her life.
It's not easy when you don't have
the ability to tell people.
But how do you get out of it?
There were other things
that had gone on in my life.
Things in my own sense of morality
that I felt that I had crossed
like, that I felt God could never
forgive me because I... I failed.
And I... I was decadent.
I was stupid.
You know? I was a fool.
So I just decided
that my life had no meaning.
I was in New York.
I was alone in the then-Navarro Hotel
on Central Park South.
I'd been watching TV.
I just broke down and said
"I am not gonna live
another day like this."
I had not been able to sleep,
and I was lying in bed.
The lines on the TV
were going up and up and up.
And after a while, I think I feel...
I was... it was almost like
being hypnotized.
And it was... it was crushing to me.
And I thought, "You know what?
I'm never gonna be who I am.
You know? I'm gonna be stuck
being this person.
How do I get out of it?"
And on that day, I... I just said
"I'm... I'm getting outta here.
I'm leaving. I... I gotta go
and I put my foot out the window."
And as I shifted my weight
to slide out the window
my foot got caught
into this thin curtain.
And at that precise moment
the door opened
and it was my house cleaning lady...
and she opened the door enough
to look right at me and go
"Oh, Ms. Summer,
I came to clean up today."
Another ten seconds,
I would've been gone.
- The Rolling Stone.
- Yeah.
That must have been a big deal, huh?
It was a big deal at the time
because, first of all, black.
- Second of all, woman.
- Yeah.
So it was a big get at the time.
And...
Were you guys dating then or not yet?
Yeah. No. We were definitely...
Yeah, we were.
We were dating from the moment
we met.
I noticed.
Man stayed up
All night
And carried on
And now
He knows
He wishes
He'd never gone
And he knows...
When I first met Donna
in my egocentric
elitist songwriter mind
I think I kinda viewed her
as a novelty.
But then we sat
down at the table
started playing guitars
and we just hit it off
instantaneously.
How much he
Loves you, baby
I'm coming after you.
Stick your
Baby home
Did we submit the record?
- Yeah, he liked it.
- Man stayed out all night
I love it.
I had a girlfriend
who was still in New York
who I had been with a few years.
Donna had this boyfriend.
I don't know where he was that week
but he was gone.
The next week
Donna and I just hung out together
the whole time
barely sleeping,
just talking, writing.
Within that time, we were bonded.
I brought this Bible with me
and Donna liked that.
She was like, "I never met a guy
who, like, studied the Bible."
My Bible was also my stash
for my joints, you know?
Someday you'll come along
The man I love
And he'll be rich and strong
The man I love
And when he comes my way
I'll do my best
To make him stay
We had a lot in common
in terms of our drive to succeed
and to escape where we were from.
I'll understand
So we... we just had
this intense beginning.
For a while
He'll take my hand...
I wasn't a serious boyfriend type.
I was serious about my career.
And so was Donna.
You know, that's part of what
Donna and I recognized in each other.
You know
I'm the kinda lady
that always meets the wrong man
at the wrong place at the wrong time.
I've always had
that wrong kinda luck, you know?
My man comes home biting,
and screaming, and fussing, and...
and then hit me, and beat my head
on the side of the wall
and you know,
he doesn't treat me good at all.
But I want him to. I need him.
You see, my man just...
For all the bravado
that appeared on the outside
there was a great deal
of insecurity underneath that.
Fear of being alone
led her into these relationships
that, in her mind,
were kinda like placeholders.
I got it bad
And that ain't good
Nah, it ain't good
Peter Muhldorfer
was one of Donna's distractions.
He was a very dark character.
I have no good memories of him.
I always felt very protective of her
when he was in her life.
He had the same vibrant imagination
as Donna.
He was very creative
in a very dark way.
My boyfriend Peter
who was kind of abusive at the time
and very possessive,
extremely controlling.
He would drink and be abusive
and then he would apologize
for the abuse.
And you're going,
"Well, you know, maybe it's just me.
Maybe I did something to provoke him.
Maybe I shouldn't have said that."
'Cause you really don't
wanna be alone
because you're really afraid
internally yourself.
And something in you identifies
with his fear of being alone.
The more independence
I've started to have
the more Peter felt threatened.
Even though there were a lot of
new people in my life at that point
there wasn't any one person
other than Peter who...
who I really believed loved me.
I knew that as this wave
of success grew
he would be more jealous
and more aggressive.
I was fearful of the situation
that I felt trapped by it.
I was already secretly seeing Bruce
by then
because Bruce was like a safe haven.
I had tried my best
to get away from Peter.
Peter, I'm curious.
What was your impression of Bruce?
You said you kind of suspected
something going on.
When I came back from New York
Bruce and the guys
have been in the house.
I remember they were writing a song.
The lyrics was something
laying heavy on my heart.
I felt there is something going on
some separation
and some plan or something like that.
And then, of course, we had a fight.
I got a phone call
in the middle of the night
and said to Neil
"Call our attorney
and call the police."
A black eye and a bruised cheek
and broken ribs.
Donna was unconscious.
I had no respect for him.
She was becoming a star.
He could not handle that.
My recollection of Peter is
"This guy's crazy."
Police again coming to our house
me hiding in the bathroom
and hearing everything
that was going on
and seeing police sirens
and lights going off
and being so happy when Mom decided
to be done with that relationship.
I did it as a white man
with a black woman
and I did it with somebody
who was a star already.
She called the management,
and they had picked her up
and from that moment on
I haven't seen her anymore.
I hit her, and I never could
forgive myself.
Watching Daddy dance
Watching Daddy dance
Watching Daddy dance
Okay, I wanna try it again.
You're not just watching.
The first one was beautiful
but then, the ones after that,
got a little bit sloppy.
- Yeah.
- So do Watching Dad... You know.
How did you incorporate
your family into your act?
Well, it was easy. They sing.
And I had been taking
three other girls on tour with me
and I decided, "Why should I take
someone else's family
all over the world with me?"
How important is it
for an international star
someone like yourself...
how important is it to have someone
- close to you?
- Well...
It's very... Well, I think
it's important for everyone
to have someone that,
especially in my position
there's always the threat
of whether someone loves you for you
or whether they love you
because of the advantage
of being with...
with a person like you.
I didn't
think about singing with her.
I just said, "Somebody has
to be out there with her."
She gotta have some family out there.
There's no family out there.
They gonna chew her up
and spit her out.
It was really an exciting time.
It was like being on a roller coaster
that never took a pit stop.
Sitting here eating
My heart out waiting
Waiting for some lover to call
I dialed about
A hundred numbers lately
Almost rang the phone off the wall
Looking for some hot stuff
Baby, this evening
I need some hot stuff, baby, tonight
Gimme a little some hot stuff
Baby, this evening
Gonna need your loving
- I got to have your love tonight
- Hot stuff
- I need
- Hot stuff
- Looking for
- Hot stuff
Gotta have hot stuff, yeah!
Come on, let's boogie.
I just wanted to say that I think
that we need to address
my approach to singing.
I approach it as an actress.
I... I'm not trying to be me.
What I am there to do
is become the character
and then sing that song
in the context
to who that character is.
Thank you.
Last dance
Last chance for love
Yes, it's my last chance
For romance
Tonight
I need you
By me
Beside me
To guide me
And to hold me
To scold me
'Cause when I'm bad, I'm so, so bad
- So let's dance the last dance
- Let's dance the last dance
- Let's dance the last dance
- Let's dance the last dance
- Let's dance the last dance
- Let's dance
Tonight
Last dance
It's my last chance for love
Hi.
Yes, it's my last chance
For romance tonight
- Oh, oh, I need you by me
- I need you by me
- Beside me to guide me
- Beside me
- To hold me, to scold me
- To hold me, to scold me
Because when I'm bad, I'm so, so bad
- So let's dance the last dance
- Let's dance the last dance
- Let's dance the last dance
- Let's dance the last dance
- Let's dance the last dance
- Let's dance
Tonight
This album
Donna Summer, Once Upon a Time
has gotten probably the best reviews
of any new album
in the last ten years.
You... you can't believe them
when you read them.
They're fantastic.
It's what you call a concept album.
It's a story.
And Donna Summer
rightly deserves them.
She's a phenomenon
in the record industry.
Well, he searched and searched
For nights and days
'Til he found the one he loved
And he wrapped her in his arms again
And then he thanked the stars above
That he found
Who he'd been looking for
And he stared her in the eyes
- He said "I love you"
- I love you... Yes, I do
He said
- "I love you"
- I love you. I love you. I do
We have this expression of music
called "the voice within the voice"
and it's the way you hear the note.
But did that cry that's in there
that touches the pain in you?
And even sometimes,
if it's a happy song
there's that cry in there
that maybe touches something in you
that's hidden in that groaning place
that place that we get to.
- She said "I love you"
- I love you... Yes, I do
- Yes, I really do
- I love you... Yes, I do
- They said "I love you
- I love you...
- Yes, I do"
- I love you. I love you. Yes, I do
It... it's so funny how people write
you know, and... and a lot of writers
write better under pressure.
I mean, under severe pressure.
Like it's-gotta-be-finished-yesterday
kinda pressure.
I prefer to work
in... in the way of concepts
have an idea
and work it out to the end.
And after, you know, coming from
being the disco queen
to, you know, like, "Where am I now?"
You know?
"What is my voice best suited for?"
You... you just have to try
a lot of things
until you find the right thing.
You have to keep going.
And I'm not... I'm not a person
who has to sound like me.
I don't care if people know it's me
in... some way.
I mean, I don't care if they go,
"Oh, that's Donna Summer"
I kinda almost don't want them to.
I want them to be surprised.
"That's Donna Summer? Wow, man,
she sounds totally different."
I think that is using your voice
as an instrument.
Do you wake up in the middle
of the night
- for example
- Yes.
- and say, "Aha. I've got an idea?"
- Yes.
Yes. Everywhere in the house, papers.
"Let's go! Don't throw that away!
Oh, my god. What happened to the...
Oh, what happened to the...
the Brillo box?
What happened..." You know.
- All right, let's do it.
- Ready?
- How does it start?
- Electricity.
Electricity
We were just jamming.
Roll tape
set up the mics, headphones.
I don't wanna be the one
To spoil the party
You know, we would just flow.
We would pick up one from the other.
We would add harmonies
when we find a little groove.
Electricity
Love that powers me
I don't ever want
This magic night to end
I don't know if I could stop
Once we get started
It was never competitive, you know?
It was completely respectful
of each other's gift.
I was always in awe of Mommy's mind.
You know, because of her persona
as, you know, sex goddess
and First Lady of Love
her artistry as a songwriter
got overlooked.
Dim all the lights
Dim all the lights
Dim all the lights, sweet darling
'Cause tonight, it's all the way
Hey, baby, turn up the old Victrola
Gonna dance the night away
Dim All the Lights is a song
that she wrote by herself
and a root issue for Donna was
when Dim All the Lights was out
and is flying up the charts
and it's in the top ten
but Neil wants to release
Enough is Enough.
And Mommy says, "No, please.
Don't release Enough is Enough yet.
Let's give Dim All the Lights
a chance to go to number one."
She's just recorded a record
with Barbra Streisand
and it will come out October 15th.
It's called Enough is Enough.
- That's news, huh?
- That's news.
- Come on. Barbra...
- You did it. You got it in.
I mean, I...
that was the whole reason...
Is that the whole reason
you were here, huh?
No. No, you... you know, just...
I thought you'd like that.
If you've had enough
Don't put up with his stuff
Don't you do it
If you've had your fill
Did she talk about that situation
with Casablanca?
For a long time, she didn't
actually believe it.
Here are these people who you...
You know, you working with them.
You love them.
You believe they have
your best interests at heart
and they do
because your best interest
is their best interest.
But... but money changes people.
Neil disregarded that request
and Enough is Enough came out
and Dim All the Lights peaked
at number two.
And I think that was the initial
feeling of, "This is not right.
Maybe this is running its course."
Two kids hanging
In an alleyway
Talking about the money
That they just found
Mommy's out weary
Trying to make a way
But Daddy
Just long's you
Tell the amount
And it's high time
That we make a change
And it's high time
That we start rearranging
Long...
Hello?
Hello, who is this?
That's bullshit.
He's profiting by me.
I can be unhappy only so long.
The record business
is really like
being raped and abused
over and over again
because the element
of your sensitivity
is beaten up on and stepped on.
I wasn't justly compensated
for what I had done.
I had sold millions of records
and not been paid for them
at that point.
We were involved from '79
in a lawsuit with Casablanca Records
because they were taking advantage.
How significant was it
for particularly a black woman
of that time to sue a label?
Certainly a high-profile situation
because it was right
at the top of her career.
We went through a major lawsuit,
and we settled
and she went on to be
the first artist signed
to Geffen Records.
Come into the light
a little bit, Donnie.
Well, this really isn't
one of my better days.
- Yeah.
- You could have filmed...
Can you get into right
into the light?
Get your face right in the light.
I wanna see you. Get in the light.
- There we go.
- You could have filmed...
Is my... is my face breaking out
over here?
I don't know.
I'm not looking that close.
- No go back, go back.
- What's the matter?
- Look at 'em. Say, "Hi." Hi.
- Hi.
Do Hard for the Money.
Sing it loud.
Hard for the money
- Good.
- She works hard for the money
So hard for it, honey
I work hard for my money
So you better treat me right
All right
I work hard... for my money
Hard... for it, honey
Hard for my money
So you better treat me right
All right?
She works hard for the money
So hard for it, honey
She works hard for the money
So you better treat her right
She Works Hard for the Money
it comes along at the right time
for women.
It was kind of like
a woman's empowerment song.
She was speaking to the worker.
She works hard for the money
So you better treat her right
It was the night of the Grammys
and we were in Los Angeles.
I was on my way into the ladies room
with my manager.
As I walked in, there was this
little lady sitting in the corner.
This sweet woman
here was sound asleep.
Yeah, and I looked at her,
and I thought to myself
"Wow, she works hard for the money."
And I thought it again to myself,
"She works hard for the money."
And I thought,
"She works hard for the money.
She works hard for the money."
And I thought, "Wow, that's it.
That's a song, Susan.
I'm gonna sit down and write it."
So I went in the other room,
and I sat right there
and I started writing it.
She didn't even know
anything about it.
Not until much later.
- Right?
- Right. That's true.
I say it's wonderful, believe me.
I think it's like a fairy tale to me.
I can't believe it. I really can't.
- You seem very proud.
- I am. I'm very proud.
She was the first female black artist
to ever have a video on MTV.
She works hard for the money
So hard for it, honey
She works hard for the money
So you better treat her right
When people come up to you
what song do they
most identify you with?
Is it still Love to Love You Baby
in... in spite of everything
you've done?
- Hard for the Money.
- Hard for the Money?
The women. The women
That's right.
- The men...
- And the men...
The men, yeah.
Love to Love You Baby, probably.
They go, "Oh, I just remember
when you sang that song...
Ooh... What was it?"
You know, they start...
their bodies start moving like this.
They go...
I've got to fan myself now.
My life just sort of started
to quiet down.
One of the things that happened
was that I... I married Bruce.
It was also this time when I started
becoming the most spiritual.
I had to make a decision
about being a mother
and how much a mother
I was going to be.
There's just nothing in my life
that's worth more to me
than my jewels.
My children are my jewels
and my husband and... my family.
I loved to perform, you know,
and that's extremely important
but it doesn't bring me
what they bring me.
The ranch was the dream childhood.
It was 56 acres of dirt roads
horses, and pigs, and cows.
It was full of imagination,
and fun, and adventure.
It was kind of the best
possible place to grow up.
Together
Together
Together
Together
I just remember,
by the time I was born
that family was kind
of the most important thing.
The fame was kind of like
an offshoot.
Tonight
Walking in a winter wonderland
Gone away...
She was always performing.
She lived in an imaginary
musical at all times.
We sing a love song as we go along
Walking in
A winter wonderland
Walking in
A winter wonderland
Winter wonder
Winter wonderland
Winter wonder
Wonder, wonderland
I like Bruce.
I like... liked him a lot.
When they got together
they wrote amazing music
and I felt like there was, like
this love connection that was deep.
But they were just...
That was just a bumpy damn ride.
They were like oil and vinegar.
But they came together
and made salad dressing.
My recollection
of our relationship early on
was that it was volatile.
We were young.
We were both confident,
and cocky, aggressive
a little stupid, passionate.
Coming from two different cultures
not understanding
each other's cultures.
We were fire.
In public, screaming at each other
"You can't fucking talk
to me like..."
I just remember that
they had a fight,
and, like, throwing pots.
And at that point,
Mom had already called the cops.
And we all went
to my grandmother's house.
I remember wanting to, like...
run and protect her.
And I've done that before.
I was dealing
with a lot of my own abuse.
We'd be at the house
and stuff would happen there.
And it was someone related
to our housekeeper at the ranch.
I would often be out in the fields
'cause I didn't wanna be any place
that I could be trapped.
It was traumatic for me to leave
my grandparents and go there
'cause I knew what might be in store.
It wasn't until
I was 11 and a half, 12
when I finally
sort of moved in full time.
And I'll have to be honest
the only reason I stayed
was because of you guys.
I said, "I can't leave Brooklyn
and Amanda."
I didn't know that, Mim.
I had a lot of pent-up anger
and resentment.
I always had to be so careful
because she's Donna Summer.
And what if I say something
and then it gets out?
When I finally told Ma
I was 19, I think.
Mom, she hyperventilated.
Had to leave the room.
You know, in order for you
to really communicate with somebody
and talk to them heart-to-heart
you have to really be vulnerable
and I think Mommy had
a hard time being vulnerable.
It was a difficult thing
for Mommy to deal with with Mimi
because of her own situation.
The sexual abuse
and her own, maybe, sense of failing.
I mean, I felt it. How could I...
How... how did I, as a dad,
allow this to happen?
But I don't think
you've ever said that to Mimi.
- Probably not.
- Yeah.
- Yeah. Probably not.
- Yeah.
These are all signed.
I always felt like
when she was painting
she was, like, really in her space.
Whatever she was feeling that day
would come out on the canvas
and really helped her to release
a lot of whatever anxiety and tension
and whatever else
that she was feeling.
I was inspired by my children.
There was color around me.
I started finding my way back
to other creative aspects
of my own personality.
Someone found the letter
You wrote me on the radio
And they told the world
Just how you felt
It must have fallen out of a hole
In your old, brown overcoat
They never said your name
But I knew just who they meant
You know, when I go on stage,
I don't go home with anything.
I go home empty-handed.
But when I paint
I have a tangible product
that's the direct result
of my solo effort.
The agents aren't talking.
The record company isn't saying,
"Hey, these songs suck."
So creatively,
I am completely free to be myself.
When you first appeared
in this country
many critics said
"One song, she'll be gone soon."
And you have outlasted
many of those critics.
How much satisfaction do you take
in having turned
their predictions wrong?
Well, it's great to, you know
to succeed when others
are not on your side.
It's even greater to know
that God's on your side
and nobody can be against you
when He is.
You know, I think that's what...
I've always been
very strong in faith.
And, I mean, the possibilities of...
of a black girl from Boston
going to Germany
becoming successful
in the American pop field
is like a... a million to one shot.
The sun is shining
Oh, for me each day
'Cause I found the answer
And I learned
To
Pray
Let them like our performance, Lord.
Let them like our performance, Lord.
- Thank you, Jesus.
- Thank you, Jesus. Thank you.
Oh, God, in Jesus' name, praise You.
Amen!
How did you become a Christian?
How did... how did it happen?
How did it happen?
- It happened one day.
- It kinda happened...
It happens, yeah.
You know what? I think people get
to a place in their lives where
well, especially
when you are successful
and you've...
and you've reached your goals
and you realize that...
that there's nothing there.
It's empty.
It's the same old room.
It could be anywhere in the world.
It could be with anyone in the world.
It could be the same meal.
It can be the same million cults.
It could be a million diamond rings.
It doesn't mean anything.
You know, you get to a point
where you realize that
"What happens after this?"
The born again.
As extreme as
I might have been thinking
at the time that it was
it benefited Donna.
That little church girl
was foundational to who she was.
All these things
that she had been carrying
from being abused by a pastor
when you were a young girl.
This struggle of... of God,
and man, and sex.
Religion and spirituality
brought her a great amount of peace.
In the last few years
my life has changed, drastically.
It has changed in a way
that I would like to share with you.
See, about three years ago,
I gave my life to Jesus Christ.
And, no...
I'm not ashamed to tell it.
Every day
I give you a reason to cry
'Cause I see the hurt in your eyes
But stronger yet
I see the love that shines
Brooklyn, you know Mommy.
Whenever she got into anything
it was a hundred and ten percent.
And then, she would wanna share it
with everybody.
Not everybody wanted
to hear a sermon.
Not everybody wanted
to be preached to.
People wanted to dance at a party.
Yeah!
All right!
"Where's that girl?
Where's that girl, huh?
I paid $12 for this ticket
and I want her
to work for it," right?
Don't you realize that
I had two children in two years?
I work so hard.
Donna had very loose parameters
of a script of how
her show was gonna go.
There were certain pattern
that she knew worked
that she would use night after night
but she was also spontaneous
in the moment.
- Woman
- Woman
Treat that man real good
She could make a comment
about something in the news
the color of the shirt
of the guy in the front row.
But now she says this thing
"God didn't make Adam and Steve.
He made Adam and Eve."
- God, he made the woman
- Yes, indeed
God, he made the man
And this was a comment
that was devastating
to many in the gay community.
The "Adam and Steve" thing
I find it insulting.
It was like I couldn't believe
that she would have said that.
For me, the relationship
that I had with your mom
was really through her music.
The songs that we all came out to.
And as a gay man
it rubbed me the wrong way.
And I thought, "I don't need
to support this anymore."
A lot of gay people already feel
like the church hates them.
And so what happened was
there was another mindset of
"Oh, she became one of those...
those people who hate us."
Their perception
of what they thought she meant.
It was like, "You shouldn't exist."
At some point, I think
we made a wrong decision
and that decision was not to respond.
We kinda figured,
"Oh, it'll go away."
But it didn't go away, and...
and we had to pay that price.
And... and it was...
it was a big price to pay.
What's happened with this comment?
Well, at some point,
it went from this comment
into Mommy supposedly saying
that AIDS was
God's punishment on gays
and that just was never the case.
Educate, don't speculate
- AIDS
- Be safe. Fight now
AIDS, educate, don't speculate
- AIDS
- Be safe. Fight now
I remember a situation
that she was doing
an art event in Chicago.
We're here. We're queer.
The ACT UP people
their intent was to go in
and destroy all the art exhibit.
And ACT UP was adamant about saying
"Well, listen.
This is a person that we loved
and adored, and supported
and she turned her back on us."
I remember
people were canceling shows.
It was definitely a strain on her.
It was a time when I think she really
had to learn to rely on faith.
That hurt her the most
because she felt like
"They're gonna think I really said
those things.
They're gonna think I feel
that way about them, and I don't."
The magazine stated that
I said homosexuals were sinners
and AIDS was a divine ruling.
That is completely false.
I did not say it.
I do not believe that.
I would never say the things
attributed to me in that article.
These were people that she loved.
And for her to be viewed as somebody
who would cause them more pain
It's something I... I don't think
she ever got over.
Do you feel that Mom
came to terms with her life?
The struggles,
the fear, the insecurity?
I don't know
if she came to terms fully.
I mean,
I think she was getting better.
When you're holding
a mirror up to yourself
and you're getting to see
all these avenues
of like an extension of yourself.
Your children
kind of growing and flourishing
- that brings something out of you
- Hey, guys, how you doing?
and it makes you have
to address certain things.
So I think she was getting there.
I think she was working
through certain things.
Yeah, baby...
I can see the shape of the world
Planet Earth below
To be honest with you
the fact that she got lung cancer
was very interesting to me.
For someone who fully used
their voice in so many ways
to not fully use their voice
in other ways
she carried so much for so long
that her body couldn't do it anymore.
Thousands of miles away
From who knows where
Who knows where...
There was a certain amount,
of not denial, but non-acceptance.
Donna never talked about her dying
or what would happen if she died.
Or that she was gonna die.
We never had that conversation.
We never spoke those words.
The fact that we didn't discuss it
did not make the obvious nature
of what was happening invisible.
She didn't want to give death power
by even speaking about it
or mentioning it.
Daddy, what... what day is today?
Today is December 25th, 2011
heading into a much
sunnier year of 2012.
- Yup, amen.
- Amen.
- Hallelujah.
- Amen, hallelujah.
- Mommy! Merry Christmas.
- Merry Christmas.
Is there a remedy
For the passions of the soul
Brother, if there is one
I don't really know.
May... may I say
I... I wanna get mushy
because I... I realized something.
I've been in therapy, you know.
For all the six months...
No, seriously.
- I can relate.
- I really like making jokes
about things,
and not confronting the issue.
And so tonight, I would not like
to make a joke of anything.
I would like to confront the issue
and say that I...
I do dearly love everybody here.
And regardless to the changes that
we have gone through in this life
I know...
Hallelujah, don't let me
start preaching...
that...
we're all together for a reason.
- Amen.
- Amen.
- Amen.
- And I do hope that...
that I was able
to bring something to your life
and get something from your life
- that is irreplaceable.
- Amen.
Oh, Lord!
Mommy, I love you.
I'm gonna see you soon.
And I'm gonna perform for you.
Watching raindrops
Slowly falling
Painting pictures
On the window pane
Feelings my heart cannot...
There were times
in the middle of the night
when she would say stuff.
She would say,
"I don't like to be alone, Mimi."
When she woke up one night,
she was really having a hard night.
I said, "Ma, what's the matter?"
And she's like, "I just..."
And she's like, "I can't sleep.
I'm just so... I can't settle down."
I started to rub her back.
She was pretty tiny at that point.
I put my arm across her chest,
and she fell asleep.
So I scooped her up onto my lap
and I just kept rubbing her back.
That moment for me was like...
She was a baby.
It was like she just was
fully vulnerable, like
"Just hold me."
I think the most profound thing
is her allowing us to love her.
Yes.
Because in that moment,
she couldn't give us anything.
No, she had to only receive.
She could only receive.
It wasn't until she was
on her deathbed
that she finally understood
that I really loved her.
She looks at me
and she says, "You are my heart."
All right, well...
If there is music there
I'll have to go
Never been anything in my life
That I wanted more
This is my greatest fear
That I'm losing you my dear
It's more than I want to give
But if there is music there
If there is music there
I have to know
Never met anyone
Who could take music
Out of my soul
There's something deep inside
That I no longer want to hide
My love you would never share
If there is music there
I'm so sorry honey.
- I'm losing you
- See, I... I always... I loved you.
I did love you
- I'm losing you
- but I just have to go.
Sunset People, take two.
For sunset
Riot house
Now what camera?
Should I just face forward?
Yes, face forward. Rewind her.
It's too much light.
You're bleaching away my color.
Fix it in the mix.
You've never had your hair done
by a sailor before, huh?
Yes.
- Excuse me.
- One, two, three, four.
Who are these places?
What are these faces?
Yes, I'm giving up
all your love for me.
Don't let it throw you.
Come on. Let me show.
What are these places?
Whose are these faces?
Translator: IYUNO