Malibu Express (1985) Movie Script
1
In here, Cody.
Moving or stationary?
Moving.
Oh!
God damn it, you hooligan.
See ya next week, John.
I can hardly wait.
Oh wow, great man!
Peg, you got this car really runnin' good.
What was the time?
We did a 1:07!
Way to go baby,
good driving, good luck.
Look at this car, bill.
This car is the tits.
Well?
What do you think, Cody?
They're dynamite.
I meant the driving.
Both of 'em.
The driving and the
body, they're dynamite.
You really are horseshit
at showing emotions,
but I like that in a man, mm?
Yeah.
Eh, did you get some good pictures?
You bet I did, Cody.
All right, take it easy.
You, too.
- And you, woman.
- Mm.
Rodney, that cowboy sure can drive.
June, I'll be he can.
I'm just testin' my new
little tape recorder I got.
They say all private
investigators need one
so they can keep a record
of their daily routines.
I hope my days are never routine.
Like today,
I went out and watched my
old friend June khnockers,
spelled with an h, test her race car.
God, she's got some great moves.
Started at the pistol range.
I went over and hit the target.
At least I hit the board
that held the target.
Just pullin' up to the
Marina now, where I reside.
Well, that's it, 10-four,
adios, over and out, good buddy.
Cody, as you know, we're
on the yacht club committee,
and the fact that you have brought
this most obtrusive thing here
is beyond our comprehension.
You must get rid of it
as soon as possible.
Now Doug,
as you and the committee all know,
my daddy founded this yacht
club more than 25 years ago.
My daddy and I also built this,
and my mama, god rest her soul.
It can't be torn down
not just yet, anyway.
Hey come on, my daddy's
representing this yacht club
in the transpac.
Well Cody, he'd do a lot better
if he didn't have an all-girl crew.
He's been lost four times in six days.
What's he doin' out there?
All-girl crew?
Probably just got blown off course.
He always was a rather
eccentric young man.
Mama was afraid of airplanes and boats,
but she loved trains.
She was killed last year
when a private rail car
jumped the track, so in her memory,
daddy and I painted a picture of a caboose
and put it up in front of our boat.
God, I hope that's a cigarette lighter.
Oh.
Hi, I'm may, and this
is my friend, Faye.
We just arrived from corpus
christi on my daddy's boat.
We're in the slip next to you,
and since we're gonna be here for a while,
we thought we might
like to get to know you
just a little bit better.
We think it's the
neighborly thing to do.
We didn't think you were ever
gonna get outta the shower.
Well, how'd you girls
get by my security system?
We have our ways.
Ooh-wee, I must be livin' right
to have these lovelies
pullin' into the slip right next door.
You know, we haven't got
our water hooked up yet,
and we was wonderin' if maybe may and I
could come over and take a shower here
oh, you poor ladies, let's
see what I can do for you.
It's right down here.
We've got a problem.
The Russians are five years
behind us in computer knowledge
yet they're stealing our
stuff right out from under us.
How?
First, they tried to buy some banks
in the San Francisco area, to
upend the computers and chips.
When that didn't work, they
set up industrial fronts
to buy all the best computers.
They send them to friendly
nations, and then,
then the Russians pay
enormous amounts of money
to obtain them from our
so called allies.
There are entire companies
here that do nothing but this.
We're coming down on them
just as fast as we can.
So what does that have to do with me?
I was having a wonderful
vacation in the south of France.
We've traced one of the major operations
to a dear old friend of yours.
Lady Lillian Chamberlain.
I don't believe...
We wanna get somebody in there
and check out what's going
on, but I can't be you.
You're too close to lady
Chamberlain and the household.
No one should suspect anything.
Who else could do the job?
Oh, I have someone in mind.
In fact, I was with him earlier
today at the yacht club.
I think you'll be impressed.
Name's Cody abilene.
I'm in love with the
girl in the centerfold j
in playboy magazine j
she's got to be the prettiest girl j
d that I think I've ever seen j
just look at that smile
and look at blouse j
hey, here's your towel.
While she's lyin' down
there in the grass
I'm in love with the
girl in the centerfold j
in playboy magazine j
there's some writin' on the pages j
says her father is a preacher j
j her mother is a doctor
and she's a school teacher jb
and I'll bet she knows an
awful lot about the golden rule j
Cody, Cody, Cody.
I understand you're a
private investigator.
And we wanna know if you'll
investigate our privates.
Mm-hm
bad timin', little
ladies, I gotta go to work.
Oh.
Come on, scoot your butts outside.
I'll catch you later.
- Oh no, Cody.
- Oh, Cody.
Come on.
My new read-out pager
says that Douglas f. Wilton
wants me to call him, urgent.
He wants me to see some
European contessa named Luciana
and get to know her.
He says she's good lookin'.
Good evening,
Cody, please come in.
Contessa, hope I'm not late.
You could never be too late
call me Luciana.
Douglas wilton has told me all about you.
I hope I can come up with a
few surprises, like this one.
Oh, thank you.
I'm gonna take you
someplace special tonight,
and I do believe your
body could put some life
into this simple frock.
Please come in and sit down
help yourself to some wine.
I'm gonna try this on for size.
I'll be just a minute.
Well?
Wow
Uh, water.
Sorry babe, I gotta have some water.
Bless you.
You're marvelous
but I didn't just bring you in for sex.
I have a few things to fill you in on.
Pleasure before business,
I like that in a woman
I'm in love with the
girl in the centerfold j
of playboy magazine j
hey Cody, where you goin', darlin'?
Top of the mornin', ladies.
Come on over and go dancing!
Come on!
I'd love to, but I gotta go to work.
Ladies take it easy, now.
- Come on, Cody.
- Cody.
Uh!
What are we supposed to do without you?
Cody, c'mon.
D girl in the centerfold j
of playboy magazine j
I'm in love with the
girl in the centerfold j
contessa Luciana somehow
talked me into taking
the Douglas f. Wilton job.
I'm headin' up to bel air now, and, oh no.
Not the buffington family.
We got you now, boy!
We're gonna tear you a new butt!
Yeah
with what?
With my son's little
white Pontiac over there.
- Yeah.
- With that little thing?
This sports car's gonna eat you up.
You think your car's fast,
wait till you see what this one's...
30 years ago at Charlotte,
my daddy beat ol' pl buffington
here in a stock car race.
He's been mad at our
whole family ever since.
He's got Doreen, his fat wife,
his boy bobo here in a feud now.
Pl's just dyin' to have
his boy beat me in a race
every chance he gets.
Beat you all over the road, that's...
All right, where do
you wanna go do this?
Fox canyon, just follow us down.
Yeah.
- See you at fox canyon.
- Ha-ha!
Come on, boy!
You gonna lose it now.
Hey Cody, me and my
car's gonna get you, boy!
Let's go, come on!
You don't have
a chance, bobo, friend.
Hey!
We got him!
Woo-hoo-hoo!
Just remember the alamo.
I'll get you next time.
Right, boy, see ya later!
- I got him!
- Get him, let's go, boy!
I won, I won, daddy!
I won, mama!
With this little thing?
I'll show you.
With this right here, ha-hal!
What's that?
Nitrous oxide, ha!
But don't it hurt the car?
Yeah, runs like hell for
20 seconds, then it blows up.
It was worth it, boy.
That's right, we beat you, Cody!
Hey Cody, how's it going?
Hey Mitch.
Take a look at this car, and
tell me how come a four-banger
just blew me off the road.
Sure, no problem.
Hey, Cody.
So how's my daddy's olds goin'?
It's comin' good.
It should be done in a day or two.
You're really gonna like this sucker.
We'll deliver it over to your yacht.
Got anything I can use in the meantime?
Well, I got this old
black Ford over here.
Keys are in it.
Okay.
Oh, uh, there are a couple
bags in the delorean.
- I'll get 'em for ya.
- Thanks.
Well, I'm still headin' for bel air,
to the home of lady Lillian Chamberlain.
Contessa I uciana's father
and lady Lillian were lovers
in Europe several years back.
They're still friends.
Luciana moved to this country from Italy
and has remained close
to lady Chamberlain.
Lady Chamberlain wants
me to stay at the house
for a few days just to check things out.
Bel air has nothing but
rolls royces, Mercedes,
Cadillacs, feraris.
So I pull up in this
borrowed Ford, but hell,
with my sophisticated style, good looks,
nobody's gonna pay any
attention to what I'm drivin"
Howdy.
Cody abilene, lady Lillian's expecting me.
Come on in, you're late.
Nice car
She's out by the pool, follow me.
Luciana told me lady
Lillian had broke her leg
in a skiing accident.
She'll be in this wheelchair
for about three more months.
Mr. abilene, how very
nice to see you again.
Lady Lillian, you're lookin' wonderful.
Thank you.
Shane, bring in Mr. abilene's bags.
You got a real charmer, there.
People say I'm crazy,
but I just know there's
something going on in this house
behind my back.
My nephew Stuart, his wife,
Anita, and my niece, Liza,
all ive here with me
since they're parents were
killed in an accident.
Then, of course, there's
Shane, you met him,
and my maid, Marian.
She's a friend of Shane's,
wait till you see her.
She is really off the wall.
Oh, baby, mm.
Mm, so my much better
than tennis.
Shane, Shane, where the hell are you?
Damn it, I'm late.
I gotta get back to the house.
Shane Reeves, god damn it!
Oh, somebody oughta
take that bullhorn and.
Ouch!
What if that leaves a Mark.
Don't worry, Mrs. Chamberlain.
Your husband'll never see it
Shane.
What did a guy like you do in jail?
Ate a lotta furniture, baby.
Shane, meet us in the living room.
Cody, would you please
take me to the living room?
It's that way.
Yes ma'am.
Oh, there you are, Anita.
Shane, where have you been?
Make sure the cook knows
Mr. abilene will be here for dinner.
Yes, lady Lillian.
Darling, Anita, come here.
This is Cody abilene.
Cody, this is my nephew's wife.
My pleasure, ma'am.
Cody will be staying
with us for a few days.
How nice
I'd finally get a chance
to meet the Chamberlain family.
I don't know where that child is
Liza's comin' down in a minute.
I said hello earlier
to Anita's husband, Stuart Chamberlain.
He's okay, I guess.
He seems a little light
in his loafers, though.
Oh Liza, there you are.
You're late dear, we had
to start without you.
Liza, this is Cody abilene.
Cody is our house guest.
I noticed your car.
Really nice.
Yeah well, I like to drive.
I just bet you do.
Cody, do you cook?
Mm, not much.
Well what do you
usually make for dinner?
Reservations
very good.
The Chamberlain family is an odd mixture
to say the least.
I had to leave right after
dinner because twice a week,
I meet with my lady cop
friend, sergeant Beverly mcafee
for a workout.
Usually we go dancing
and playing afterwords.
Tonight, she's gotta go
back to work, though.
Damn
this place is filled with
great-lookin' bodies.
Exercise is okay, but
girl-watchin's what I do best.
I love lookin' at that
gorgeous Diana, hoo.
The luscious lorette, oh my,
and the outrageously sexy Peggy.
Beverly's still one of my
favorite ladies, though.
Don't they ever give you
the night off, Beverly?
Nine to five looks so good right now.
No one ever told you
bein' a cop would be easy.
Hey Luke, take a look
at that chump over there.
Yeah I know, she's into the little boys,
I don't know what she see in them,
she need to get herself a real man.
Well, I see
we got a couple of new
show offs workin' out.
Wonder how things are workin' out
back at the Chamberlain place.
Shane, what the hell are you doing?
What does it look like I'm doing?
- Get away from me!
- Come on.
Relax baby, come on.
- Ow.
- Come on.
Come on baby, oh yeah.
Come on, Liza.
Yeah, that's it.
Mm.
Thanks a lot, I enjoyed it.
Damn you, Shane, you son of a bitch!
Stuart.
Stuart, what are you looking at?
Uh, nothing, I thought
I heard something.
Ah, times crossword puzzle.
Can I help you with a word?
Ah, you don't mind if I join you, do you?
This is a great day.
You know, you don't
have to be nice to me.
Oh, I insist on it.
Us Texas boys are known for it.
That's really some bullshit.
Thank you, maid Marian.
How about some lunch?
We have some escargot.
Snails, no thanks.
I make it a point never to eat
anything that leaves a trail.
Of all days to be stuck here.
My Mercedes is in the shop,
and I really need to get to palm Springs.
How about Shane the chauffeur?
Forget that son of a bitch.
Well can I drive you where you're going?
Sure, why not?
Shane's probably slipping
it to Anita anyway.
I believe you texans call it layin' pipe.
They get it on at the beach house.
You know about that, don't you?
Oh yeah.
Oh, you're the greatest baby, mm.
Oh yeah.
Oh, that's it, mm.
Oh yeah, mm, oh baby.
Mm, delicious.
We're late baby, come
on, we gotta get goin'.
So uh, what's your friend's name?
Johnathon Harper, he's in computers.
He buys and sell 'em worldwide.
You know, a lot of
people have been caught
sellin' those illegally
to communist countries.
I assume he's legitimate.
Johnathon's reputation is fine with me.
I'm investing in his company.
Besides, I only asked you
for a ride, not your opinion.
Oh, okay.
Shane.
Shower time.
Come on in.
Hey baby, you're too much.
I'll meet you in the car.
There's Johnathon
Harper's building, Cody.
Jay, the new computers
are coming in next week,
and I want you to have
a look at those, also.
Yes sir, Mr. Harper.
Hi
Liza, darling, how are you?
This is Cody abilene, he drove me here.
My Mercedes broke down.
Your car is always breaking down.
Well, that's the way it goes.
Cody, my name is Johnathon Harper.
- Howdy.
- How do you do?
Liza, have you got the
financing we talked about?
Yes, I do.
Thank you.
Hey, what about the
other night, hey, ho.
- Hey.
- Oh yeah.
- How's it goin'.
- Look at those legs.
- What do we have here?
- Look at the face.
Oh, look at this body,
veah, great lookin' guy.
Cool it.
The lady's an investor.
- Investor.
- Hey look, Liza.
I think we've seen enough
of these gentlemen.
Let's get outta here.
No, I'm staying, I
have business to discuss.
Suit yourself.
Liza, these are three of my friends,
Matthew, Mark, and Luke.
They're here to help us.
Do me a favor, wait over there
for a few minutes, darling.
I'll be right with you.
- Okay.
- Okay?
See to it that his ass
leaves these premises.
Yeah, and the rest of his body, too.
Hey you, why don't
you pull over for a sec?
I gotta talk to you.
That's okay, I can find my own way.
If you don't pull over, I'm
gonna fuckin' put you over.
He's a pretty boy, isn't he?
What, you lookin' to fuck 'em?
Yeah, maybe, yeah.
Guys, guys.
Fuck, you don't wanna mess with me.
You see this body?
This body is a lethal weapon.
I could kill you guys in a second.
I'll show you lethal weapons.
Oh, shit.
Hi-yal!
Yah!
Lethal weapon my ass.
Pick his ass up.
- Turn the thing.
- You see this, huh?
How do you like this, longhorn?
How do you feel without a dick, huh?
Get outta here.
You wouldn't happen to
have a loaner, would you?
- Happy trails!
- Yeah, happy trails!
- Yeah go for it.
- You got it.
Yoo-hoo!
We're only kidding.
No seriously, come on back!
Yah!
Let's get, let's get outta
here, come on, let's go.
I need the
fastest thing on this lot.
Sugar, I'm the fastest
thing on this lot.
Oh, mercy.
Come back real soon, you hear?
Yeah, right.
Boy, that was really a
horseshit trip to palm Springs.
I got my ass whipped,
my borrowed car shot up,
and I was raped.
You know, time to see just
what the hell is goin' on
around here.
Sure Shane, you can screw
around with this thing
for as long as you want, but
I'm here to tell ya, asshole,
your health, ya dig, your
health, it's gonna suffer.
You can bet the whole
goddamn farm on that, pal.
- I'll pay.
- When?
When I got it.
Hey Shane.
You still messin' around
with that broad you work for?
Well maybe you'll pay up pretty soon, eh?
Remember, you owe us 30 grand.
- Well?
- Well
I owe a guy some money, he's
being a nuisance, that's all.
How stupid to let your
scuzzy gambling friends
call you here.
Come here, baby.
To hell with you.
Maybe it'd be all right
to have some things said about you.
What said about me?
Get your hand off me.
I don't know,
like maybe something about this rich lady,
an ex-con has been living in her house?
Right, the house man.
And what's been going on
right under her queer hubby's
little turned up faggot nose.
I got some state of the
art video on you, baby.
I also got some pictures you oughta see.
Ooh, here's some with you on top.
You filthy, no good, son of a bitch.
Bastard!
I wasn't gonna show 'em to anybody.
Your husband doesn't know anything.
I'm not stupid, Shane.
Anita baby, come here.
I hope to hell the
gamblers get you, Shane,
and I hope they tear you in little bits.
You little whore
Okay Shane, let's go,
and take me to the club.
Shane is driving Stuart in
the Chamberlain limousine.
I'm following them along the sunset strip.
I heard just enough
outside of Shane's room
to make me wonder what
the hell else he's up to.
Well, they're makin' a u-turn
and stoppin' across the street.
I'm really surprised an
ex-con would assume my morals
to be an issye.
How very naive of you, Shane.
You can only get away so long
with performing here for kicks.
I'll take my chances.
You'll have a better chance
to continue playing queen
for a day if you help me out.
I need 30 big ones right away.
Why, that's blackmail.
How would you like to go back to prison
for another five years?
Wouldn't this be cute of
us in the faggot gazette?
That's you on the bottom, sweets.
Suppose I were to take
this threat seriously,
which I don't for a minute,
to whom would I entrust the money?
Me, of course.
Tomorrow night at lady
Lillian's charity party.
Doesn't leave us much time, does it?
But then why should I
keep you in suspense?
The answer is no, now
drive me to the entrance.
Shane's pullin' the limo
in front of the screaming cockatoo.
This should be good.
- Hi.
- Stuart, you look wonderful.
Thank you, I feel good.
I don't believe this one
Stuart has just turned into
the most gorgeous woman.
Love that dress!
Thank you.
You like, huh?
Yeah, you have
great legs, love it.
Thank you, what a day I had.
- Really?
- Let me tell you about it.
Come on. - Tell me.
I knew he was different, but wow.
Do me a favor, Frederick,
please, don't forget to come
to lady Chamberlain's tomorrow.
It's very important.
Oh, I don't, Stuart.
I'm gonna have to work, but
I'll definitely be there.
Thank you.
Here's to it.
Goodies on a tray.
Hors d'oeuvres?
What an
assortment under one roof.
Lady Chamberlain thinks I'm
here to check on her family.
Luciana has me involved in espionage.
God, I love intrigue.
God, I love Luciana's white dress.
Let's have some champagne
and toast my art-selling trip tomorrow.
I'll toast, but I
better stay alert tonight.
Can I have some designer water?
You are continental.
Well, have a safe flight.
Let's toast to us bein' together tonight.
You know, we have worldwide
computer investments
for those people who've
trusted us with their finances.
We've made enormous profits for them.
Things look even better in the future.
You know, Johnathon,
I think your interest
in our little Liza here
is something just a bit
more than financial
Luciana, I mean contessa.
Would you like some champagne?
You know that snake?
I spent a few days with
lady Lillian last month.
He was around then
- cheese?
- Hey Tommy,
look who we got here, it's maid Marian.
You look very foxy tonight, maid Marian.
Just because we all work for Johnathon
doesn't mean you creeps
can put your hands on me.
Ho-ho-ho.
Hello, Shane.
Hello, dick.
What are you doin' here?
We control the catering
service here, you know that.
I'm here to collect the
bread you owe us, remember?
Yeah
well time's runnin' out, asshole.
I'll see ya later.
Stuart Chamberlain, please.
Yes, it's very important.
Tell him it's Frederick calling.
You have a telephone call.
Thank you.
Hello?
Hello, Stuart?
Did you forget about our date tonight?
Of course
not, Frederick, darling.
Where are you?
This is Shane, Stuart darling.
Remember tonight's the night.
I need that money.
I told you, you thieving bastard,
I said no, and I meant it.
Faggot.
You like that, lover boy, hm?
It's like you've been
avoiding me all evening.
Now you come up with the
bread, or guess who's dead.
Now listen, asshole, I'm
not leaving here tonight
without the money.
Now you get it up, or I'm
gonna cut your fuckin' face.
Don't cut me, please, please.
You understand?
Yeah
tonight, tonight.
Oh, damn it.
That son of a bitch.
That bitch
maid Marian, she is something else.
Did you hear that she
got raped this afternoon
by two homosexuals.
One held her down, and the
other one did her hair.
Hors d'oeuvre, Mr. Chamberlain?
Slut.
Good night, thank you for coming.
Oh, you rascal.
Good night, good night.
Thank you, Luciana.
Thank you, Lillian.
Good seeing you.
Good night, Cody.
Shane, come here.
Dead tired, please take me to my room.
Yes, lady Lillian.
Hi, this is Regis philbin,
along with my wife, joy.
Tonight's program is about love.
The whole world depends on, on love.
Exactly, and I think people
should respect each other's feelings.
Oh, if you have that respect.
I have some love
for ya, Regis and joy.
But it's really the love
that engenders that respect.
Thattaway to go, baby.
Stuart better show up with that money.
Dick's gonna be here soon,
and he's not gonna wait
much longer for that dough.
Damn it, what am I gonna do?
You know, we
were talking about love
the other day, and I guess I
can't forget some of the things
that were expressed
here about relationships
and about how people really
should feel about one another.
Men and women, men and men.
Everybody should
have that basic love
for one another, it's so important.
I think you're right.
Where there's no
Sincere feeling of love.
As a matter of fact, I
think it's the lack of love
that's killing us all today.
To relate to each other
after all, love is what
makes the world go 'round.
Ah, I feel great today.
I feel hot.
I'l drink to that
What's that?
Well Shane, you win some, you lose some.
Poor Shane.
Luciana, the plane
leaves in a couple hours.
I want you to get outta here.
I'll vouch for you, we
were together all night.
I'd rather stay here with you.
I'm worried
don't worry, I can take care of this.
You really don't wanna get involved,
I have to call the police now.
You take of yourself.
Looks like he was shot, stabbed,
and still made it out here.
Sure was tough sum' bitch.
Hey, what's goin on in his room?
Anita?
What the hell are you doin' here?
I don't know
I don't know, I.
I just came in through
the service entrance,
I saw blood
is it Shane?
Everything's such a mess, I just got here.
It's a shock, I guess.
Go in the house, tell
everybody to meet me by the pool.
Go, do it!
Let's see, I saw Shane put
those pictures of Anita
in one of these drawers.
Well, they ain't here now.
Hm, there's blood on this camera.
Looks like it's got
some exposed film in it.
I better check this out
The killer must've jimmied
these drawers open.
Hm
Oh, this is a terrible thing.
Shane was such a good driver.
And though I'm sorry, I
feel as though it's my fault.
I wouldn't say that
when the police get here.
But I was the one that hired him
I know what you meant.
Fxcuse me.
- Uh-huh.
- I just can't wait to see.
Oh baby, the sound of your
voice is drivin' me crazy.
I tell you baby, I'm only as a beer can,
but I'm real long, you know?
- Oh god.
- I know what you mean.
Oh murder, when you get hot,
you let your husband watch,
it makes me very crazy.
Hi Sally, it's Cody abilene,
you got anything for me?
Cody, you sexy, gorgeous cowboy.
Cody, tell me what you're wearing.
I bet you're wearing
those sexy, tight jeans.
I'd love to have you here.
You're too much
Cody, I want you so bad.
I wanna feel your manhood
pressed against me, oh.
- I understand.
- Baby.
I want you so bad right now.
Okay look, I'll get back
to you on that, all right?
You sexy man.
Your tongue would really
enjoy being on me.
My nipples are even hard
just talking to you.
Get on the horn
and get the police over here
to the Chamberlain house
as soon as possible.
It's a homicide
god, I wish you could come
through this phone right now.
Yeah look, just call
the police, all right?
I'll talk to you later.
Did you learn anything, Cody?
Yes ma'am, I sure did.
I'm gonna go take a cold shower now.
The police'll be here
in about five minutes.
Y'all wait right here.
The police could have me thrown in jail
for withholding evidence,
but I wanna be the first
to see this film when it's developed.
I better hide this goodie
before they get here.
Some layout.
Yeah
it. Arledge, Beverly.
Cody aveline.
I should've known you'd
be involved in this.
Come on in, I'll show you the way.
How well do you know this guy?
Oh, pretty well.
Well, I know him very well.
Don't let that cowboy charm fool you.
He graduated summa cum
laude from Texas university.
Everyone standby.
Chamberlain family, this is it. Arledge.
How do you do?
- Sergeant mcafee.
- Hello.
Morning.
Lady Chamberlain, this arrived
in my office this morning.
It's for you.
Oh, thank you.
Oh my.
Uh, they're with you.
Taken with Shane.
How cozy.
Take them, it. Arledge.
Uh, can I take a look at these?
Nice composition.
A little out of focus.
It's what we call hard evidence
they were taken at the beach house.
How could you, Anita?
Lady Lillian gave him
a key to the beach house.
When?
Uh-huh, mm-hm.
He left with the lady cop,
oh, about 20 minutes ago.
Okay.
Well, maybe we'll find something
at the Chamberlain beach house.
Lt. Arledge
thinks Stuart did it.
Oh yeah, how come?
Those pictures
of Shane and Anita
we saw a while ago.
That's a pretty strong
motive, don't you think?
Yeah, I guess.
He had the opportunity, but
so did a lot of other people.
Fun little playhouse.
Interesting place.
What do you hope to find here?
Clues.
Pictures, electronics.
But you know me.
I just like to cover all the angles.
Oh yes.
Speaking of angles,
have I told you how
good you've been lookin'
since you've been goin' to the gym?
Well no, but I'm glad you noticed.
Of course, I, uh, haven't had a chance
to take in the whole thing.
Well, aren't you in for a treat?
So are you.
Oh really?
Top this.
I'll give it my best shot.
Hey, you wanna see a home movie of us?
Oh, sure Cody.
You won't believe what I found.
A remote control for a video camera.
And when did you find that?
I'd rather not say.
Talk about a soap opera.
We should have our own show
looks like Shane the
photographer set this up.
Sure was a good ol' boy.
I got all day for this.
The shit-kickin' private eye, a hag,
and and a roll of film.
I'll take that.
It's my case.
When it's murder, the
police take control.
Besides, I paid for it
with my very own body.
And you were worth every frame of it.
Well, thank you kindly, ma'am.
Piece of cake.
Let's go, Tommy.
Did you just hear somethin' outside?
Shower, check it out.
I'll cover us outside
Go ahead, go for it.
Make my day.
Watch out!
Oh!
Go for it?
Make my day?
Are you serious?
Careful now, Beverly.
There's still one out there
Cody, the door.
There he is. - He's mine.
Jesus, stay stay, I got him.
God damn.
Look out, Beverly!
Oh.
Hey, I coulda hit him.
Oh really?
All right, it's these hands.
They're the lethal weapons.
Yeah, just be careful
when you play with yourself.
So, who knew we were coming out here?
I almost hate to say.
Lady Lillian?
You got it.
Damn it
damn it
okay.
I'll call the lieutenant
over at the Chamberlain house
and tell him what happened here.
Okay.
Look, if you can handle the calvary,
I'll go to my boat and
get a couple things done.
Okay.
Call my service if you need me.
Cody?
I need a kiss
You gonna be okay?
I'll be fine.
Beverly's right.
Who else knew we were comin' out here?
Could lady Lillian be a suspect?
Nah
on my way back to the Marina,
I stopped by the grocery store
to get me a peanut brittle candy bar.
I just need to think things through.
Hey!
Hey, there you are, Cody!
Oh, no.
Not the buffington family again.
Come on, let's go!
What's wrong, you yellow?
I don't wanna race you guys!
- Chicken, you're chicken!
- Come on.
All I have is this
junked out old Datsun z.
It wouldn't even be fair.
Fair?
You want fair, go to church, boy.
Come on, let's go, come
on, I'm ready, let's go!
Come on!
I picked this car
'specially just to race you.
So, you ready?
Watch this, watch this, Cody.
Huh, hey, how 'bout that, huh?
All right, come on! - Damn.
Now they even got a low-rider.
Come on, boy!
Come on, bobo, come on boy, get 'em!
Yeah, boy, we win!
Yeah, look at this!
Once again, I've been
disgraced by the buffingtons.
I'm rapidly losing face.
If I don't whip their butts next time,
my daddy's gonna whip mine.
Be careful.
This cowboy killed Peter
and Tommy this afternoon.
Watch him
You stay here and cover us.
Okay, Matt.
What are you doin' here?
Nevermind, move over.
I was hopin' you'd say that.
Shouldn't we take your boots off?
Okay now listen, when I say so,
I want you to dive on that
floor, and get down low.
- This is kinky.
- Oh no.
This 1s nice, this is nice.
This gonna be fun.
Just do it, come on
girls, this is serious.
- Oh my god!
- Wait a minute.
- Yah!
- Down, down!
Oh my god!
- Shit!
- Oh, Faye!
- Oh no, no!
- Qutta here!
- Son of a bitch!
- What's going on here?
What the hell was that all about?
You girls stay here,
do not leave this room!
- Faye, what's going on?
- I don't know, I don't know.
- Oh Faye, oh god!
- Oh no, no!
What is going on here?
What the hell
was that about? Oh my.
Shit.
Hey man, what are you...
He shot me, you goddamn idiot!
Oh my god, Faye!
I can't believe what's happening.
- Oh my god, may.
- God damn it, you two.
Damn it you two, listen
to me. I want that film!
Where's that film at?
I know it's in here somewhere, damn it.
That pisses me off,
where's the god damn film.
I know it's in here somewhere.
Cops, we gotta move, man.
We got the cops on our ass right now.
We gotta move, come on.
We gotta move.
You sure you don't know
where the film's at?
No, I don't know
what you're talkin' about.
Hey, you better not
be holdin' out on me,
I'll tell you right now
'cause that pisses me off.
Ow.
Yo man, what the
hell happened to your ear?
- Shut up!
- Come on.
Come on Luke, get in!
Damn it, I let 'em
get away in that caddy.
Well, I better get the girls off my boat
so I can get a little sleep.
Hello?
Jesus Beverly, it's the crack of dawn.
Listen Cody,
the lieutenant just
arrested Stuart Chamberlain
for Shane's murder.
He found some pictures of
Stuart and Shane together.
Listen Beverly, I got
somethin' to tell ya.
I found another roll of film
there over in Shane's dresser
before you came over.
You held that out on me?
Yeah, well it was my case first.
Well, it's not your
case any longer, cowboy.
I sure would like to
get that film developed.
Do you really think the
film's that important?
No question about it.
They tried killin' us for it yesterday,
and I was told by a
couple of reliable sources
that they were still
lookin' for it last night.
Cody, are you alone?
No, there's a topless
girl serving me coffee
and a beautiful dancing girl with batons.
Get serious Beverly, of course I'm alone.
I sure would like to
know what's on that film.
You've gotta get it developed.
Yeah but knowing Shane,
I don't think I wanna take
it to the local drugstore.
Listen, I got an idea,
lemme call you right back.
Sally's phone and lip
service, may I help you?
Yeah, good morning, Sally.
Listen, can you give me June
khnockers at Willow Springs?
Cody, it's you, where are you?
I'm on my boat.
I'd love to raise your sails
and tighten your jib sheet.
I want you to batten down my hatch.
I can't wait
we're gonna do it port and
starboard, fore and aft.
Please, sal,
I have all I can take
this mornin', all right?
Sure baby, is that khnockers with an h?
You got it.
Cody, does she give better
lip service than I do?
Honey, that's a negatory.
Well then, I'll get her for you.
How did you girls get by
my security system again?
I thought I told you
that the Malibu express
is a little dangerous
the next couple days.
Cody, you know you
like havin' us around.
Body by Fisher, brains by mattel.
Oh June, yeah.
Hey Cody, you comin'
out to watch me practice?
Yeah listen, I might.
I got a big favor, I got a
roll of film I need developed.
Is Rodney workin' today?
Yeah, I'm sure she'll
be glad to help you.
Great then, I'll see
you in a couple hours.
Okay, I'll tell her you're comin'.
I can't wait to see you.
Bye.
Yeah.
Oh no.
Yeah look Beverly, can you wait for me
at the Chamberlain house?
We're going out to Willow Springs raceway.
Okay.
I need a moment to
console lady Chamberlain
about Stuart's arrest.
Will you be leaving now?
Um, listen.
I got a couple things
I gotta take care of.
Lady Lillian, I'm very
sorry about Stuart's arrest.
I'll be in touch with you later.
- Thank you so much.
- Sure.
Where is she going?
Willow Springs, ma'am.
- The raceway?
- Yes, ma'am.
Thank you, maid Marian.
You may have the rest of the day off.
Thank you very much, ma'am.
Hey Beverly, how you like this olds?
It belongs to my daddy,
he loves cars and gadgets.
They're on their way to Willow Springs.
Don't count on me for your party.
I'm going to Tijuana for the weekend.
There's a brown
Cadillac back there.
Wonder if it could be
the one from last night.
Better stay on
his ass, and don't lose 'em.
I'm on 'em, I got 'em.
You out of your
fuckin' mind, stay on him!
I'm with him!
What do you want me to
do, make miracles here?
I got 'em, don't worry.
Better stay on his
ass, and don't lose 'em.
Next time, you drive, okay?
I don't want it, you drive next time.
Get him right
now, make it over there.
I got him, I got him.
- Don't lose him.
- I see 'em.
Son of a bitch!
Son of a bitch.
All right, relax.
What the hell is wrong with you?
He's goin' around the field.
We'll get him on the next one.
You asshole!
He's goin' that way, you
missed him you son of a bitch!
Matthew, next time you drive!
Hey June.
Hi
What are you doin' here?
I thought you'd be on the track.
Oh, I just have to
make a few adjustments,
then I'm going out to practice.
Who's that, your older sister?
She's a workin' acquaintance.
Where's Rodney?
Up in the press room,
she's expecting you.
Thanks.
Hi Rodney. - Hi, how you doin'?
- This is Beverly.
- Hi.
Hi Beverly, nice to meet you.
Thanks for doin' this for me.
We need this film developed.
Sure, no problem.
Oh, by the way, it doesn't
have to be good, just fast.
Fast, not good?
Sounds like most men I know.
But I bet you'd be different.
Just get in there,
and call us when you're ready.
Okay, okay.
Look Beverly, June's out there.
Sure can handle that car.
Hey, here's one that
looks a little different.
Looks like somebody standing in a doorway.
I'll bet that's the picture
those goons were after last night.
Listen, can you reprint that
one and just blow up the face?
Sure, it'll take a couple minutes.
Okay, we'll come back.
Come on, let's
go look for that red car.
- All right.
- We'll find this goon.
Here's that blow up you wanted.
I'l be damned
can you believe this?
Well, we better get
on this one right away.
Thanks.
- This is it.
- Get those guns!
Let's go!
Let's go. - Got 'em
Come on, Matthew,
do we need these?
You need 'em!
- Ah!
- You're crazy, crazy!
Fuck off!
Beverly, you okay?
Cody, take this, get away!
Okay babe, just hold
on, I'll get some help.
- Get the goon!
- You're crazy.
You're a lunatic.
What the hell's wrong with you, man?
Come on!
Come on.
Go ahead.
Shit
get inside.
Come on, let's move.
He's right over there, come on.
Move it!
Yah!
God damn piece of shit gun.
Where is he? - I don't know.
- Shit!
- Ah!
Let's go, let's go, come on!
I'm gonna
nail him with a grenade.
- No, not the grenade!
- Just think for once!
Would you think for once?
I'll tell ya, this car is tits.
This car's tits
oh yeah?
Well if that car's tits,
then what are these?
There he is, behind the car.
- Damn!
- You lunatic, you just shot!
I don't believe it!
You just shot a freakin' kid.
This son of a bitch is a mad man.
Shit.
Peg, bill!
Cody, what the hell is goin' on?
Beverly's been shot behind
the car, get some help, go!
I gotta take your car.
You ain't leavin' without me!
Stay outta this!
It's in reverse!
Don't you think I know that?
Why are you shootin', he's already gone!
Shut your fuckin' mouth.
Yah!
Hal
- man.
- Over there, go!
- Come on man.
- You're slick man,
you're really slick.
Man, what's happenin' man?
Get in here.
Bring that old bastard out.
Come on.
- Move.
- Let's go.
You know how to fly this thing?
Yeah
don't fool around.
Oh wow, Cody.
Go for it.
Okay, old man.
Don't fool around.
You do what I tell you, or
I'll blow your head off.
Okay, okay.
I'll do it, I'll do it.
Matthew, you're crazy man.
Who gonna fly this helicopter,
you blow his head off?
I wanna go that way now.
I wanna find that race car.
Understand that?
I love speed.
What's the matter Mark, you scared?
Up yours.
I don't wanna hear it
there it 1s, over there.
- Speed really turns me on.
- What?
Come on, don't you
wanna play around a little?
No, I wanna be waitin' for those guys,
they went and shot Beverly,
they're after us now.
I don't care about Beverly.
Don't you wanna play with me?
I care about us!
Jesus, can you put those things away?
Somebody's makin' it, too.
That's disgusting, blow 'em away.
I can't, all I see is tits.
You don't understand,
these guys are playin' for keeps.
It's my garage,
you're not goin' fast.
I'm doin' 185 miles an hour!
That's nothin'!
Could you get your head down?
- I can't see the road!
- I'll get it down!
You're not
gettin' it down, all right,
now come on, outta my way!
I'd get down if you let me!
What about these, don't they look fun?
Please no, come on!
Please, all I want, later, okay?
If we get outta this alive, please,
I promise you the time of your life.
I want it now.
I can't believe this is happening to me.
I gotta lose these guys, June, come on!
I don't believe it, total rejection.
Listen, any other
time baby, just put 'me on ice.
What are those
guys doin' up there, anyway?
They're trying to shoot us!
That's what they're doing!
Matt, tell 'em to
pull up a little closer.
I'll get a shot, I'll blow out his tires.
Hey you guys,
you wanna fool around?
Say hello to these tits!
Oh my god, he's got a gun!
I've been telling you that!
Floor it, Cody, step on it!
Faster, faster!
Pull away.
We'll circle around him, and
we'll land on the highway.
Then his ass will be ours
Take it over that mountain, bastard.
Holy shit, my goodness!
That must be one of those new turbos.
Woo!
All right,
put this thing down now.
Okay, okay,
I'll do it, don't shoot.
Leave it in
the middle of the road.
I'll be here.
The fuck are you goin'?
No!
Don't go, what are you doin'?
- Damn, he's crazy man!
- What are you doin'?
What are you doin', man?
Cops gonna be by here anytime.
I hope you
have major heart attack!
Calm down, man, I mean shit!
Put this fuckin' thing down now!
- Look out!
- Oh my god, watch it!
Oh shit!
Oh my god!
Take cover, dive!
I don't believe it.
I told that meathead
to cool it with those live grenades.
Outta gas, outta road,
and shit outta luck.
- Damn it.
- Hey Luke,
let's get that Turkey
with the broad, come on.
- All right.
- Come on, go, go!
$100,000, you think it could have doors.
They're coming after, too, come on!
Let's go, come on!
You, get down!
- That Cannon he's got?
- Get back.
What is that?
It's a 44!
Move out, come on!
Wait a minute, let's not kill 'em.
All right, Luke, let's just wing 'em.
Let's just wing 'em and
break his ass in half.
- All right.
- Come on, Cody, let's go!
Come on!
- They're there, over there!
- Where, where?
Stay low, stay low.
- Come on!
- Get down, get down!
Come on, Cody,
they're gonna kill you!
I'll go right, you the left.
Oh my god, we gotta make it.
Let's go!
Cody, get off of me!
Oh. - Where'd they go?
We're in big trouble.
No shit, kemosabe.
You don't understand
I only have one bullet left,
and I've never hit a
moving target in my life.
Here he comes.
- Hey, look at these!
- Ah, yeah.
Ah, shit!
There he is!
Go on, get his gun, I just winged him.
I know what you're thinkin'.
Did I shoot five, or did I shoot six, huh?
Go on, go for it, punk.
Don't shoot me.
Ha-ha, you know this one's loaded.
You were beautiful!
All right look,
we'll send somebody back
for you and your buddy.
- You son of a bitch.
- Come on.
- God damn it.
- Easy.
Watch my side.
Slow man, slow.
Damn it.
Well, those guys won't
need these guns anymore.
I'll tell you one thing,
June's gorgeous front
porch really saved our ass.
Here comes a mobile home.
We gotta stop 'em.
How we gonna stop this thing?
Oh mercy, I'm gonna
stop for this, Ellen.
I guess we must be near Hollywood.
Can we get a ride near
palm Springs, please?
What do you think, honey?
Sure can.
And bring the young lady with
you too, will you please?
Yeah
y'all come right in.
God bless you, sir.
God certainly blessed you, ma'am.
Well buckle up, here we go.
- Thanks a lot.
- Bye-bye!
Okay look, you're going
back to Willow Springs, right?
Give this to Beverly when you get there.
Go to that general store down there,
see if you can't pick
me up a box of these,
hollow tips, all right, a whole box.
Can't I go with you?
You and those were marvelous today,
but I gotta go it alone, okay?
Go get me those shells, now.
Hello?
Yeah, she's here, Beverly, it's for you.
Is that you, Cody?
Yeah, no I'll be okay, where are you?
No, Cody, Cody, wait.
Just wait for me to bring
some back up, please.
A little gift from Shane
before he got knocked off.
What do you think, Liza?
1 don't like it or
your despicable friends.
How dare you get me involved in this?
I invest in your company,
and you show me films
of the jerk chauffeur
making out with Anita?
What's this all about, anyway?
All right, everybody, this party's over!
Now move out!
Now!
You and you, stay.
What the fuck do you think you're doing?
This 1s my home, and these are my clients.
How dare you break in here?
Sit down!
Why?
Why what?
Why'd you kill Shane?
I didn't kill anybody.
You killed Shane.
You don't have to listen to any of this.
You, I don't like you very much,
so you'd be doin' real
good just to sit there
and be a good ol' boy.
Now shut up!
The night of the party,
you went into Shane's room.
You not only stabbed him,
but then you shot him,
and then you made it look like
your brother Stuart did it.
You have no evidence
this folder says I do.
The hell is going on here?
Lieutenant, just in time.
And Beverly, it sure is good
to see you up and around.
It's hard to keep a good cop down.
You wanna explain this to me, Cody?
I think you'll find this
quite interesting, lieutenant.
Our little lady here.
Has been quite busy.
Damn you, Cody,
what are you doin'?
Will you get this off of me?
I'll be damned.
Here, take a look at this.
Both I iza and Johnathon were arrested
case closed, right?
Not so, I'd made a mistake.
The next morning, I
invited everyone involved
to meet me on my boat.
Aw damn, not them again.
We're gonna get you your
pink slip this time, boy.
Okay look, I feel it's only
fair to warn you, though,
this here's my daddy's car.
He's got it all gussied up with power.
We got your gussied up.
My son here's a mechanical genius.
We got a car just waitin'
for ya over at the racetrack.
Racetrack, are you guys serious?
Well, hey daddy, it's
just a little ol' Camaro,
ain't nothin' special.
That's right.
Once again, you're gonna eat our dust.
That's right.
By all means then, lead the way.
- Follow!
- Follow us, come on!
Don't touch the car, don't touch the car.
- Ha!
- Hey, al how's it goin'!
You know, we'll beat 'em.
First thing we're gonna do
is blow Cody's doors off,
then I'm gonna buy you a big
chili and tamale breakfast
oh, I don't eat stuff, nah.
What I want's a filet mignon,
cheese, and some champagne.
Whatever you say, bean bag.
What the hell did he say?
- I don't know.
- Here,
let's line this thing up.
- Yep!
- Line 'em up.
Gimme my helmet, mama!
Give him his helmet.
Come on, baby boy, come on, baby.
You gotta have your helmet.
Come on, wait a minute!
Get in the car, it's over here, boy!
Get in the car, be safe
now, put on your seatbelt.
- Bye.
- Come on!
Come on, baby boy!
Come on, boy!
What is that thing right there?
God dang it!
Open the door, you old fool!
Don't call me a fool, we in public!
Get outta here and that
red fuck is cheatin!
He's cheatin'
daddy, he's cheatin'!
He 1s!
I tell you, it's a rocket.
He cheated!
He cheated!
- Dad burn it, you cheated us!
- He cheated, you cheated!
Look, look, my daddy
would want you to have this.
What'd he give you, daddy?
It's a god damn silver bullet.
You, get outta my sight!
Don't bother my son!
He cheated, he
cheated, you cheater!
Sally's phone and lip
service, may I help you?
Yeah babe, it's Cody.
I just won my rocket race.
Oh Cody, it's you.
I love rockets
I've seen your rocket, and
it's big and beautiful.
Sally, listen. What about
those people I had you line up
to meet me on the boat in a little while?
I've called them
Cody, what's your eta?
I'm on my way there now.
I would like to propose a toast
to a young lady that we're all very happy
to have with us here today.
Liza, would you come out here?
Do you believe this, Beverly?
We just arrested her last night.
What the hell's she doin' here?
Lieutenant, what's the?
You all know I iza
certainly lieutenant and
Beverly know Douglas f. Wilton,
former district attorney
and now high-ranking government official,
and chairman of my daddy's
yacht club committee.
All right boys and girls,
ladies and gentlemen,
get comfortable, and let
me explain it to you.
I'd been up all night
long at the CIA building
with Douglas wilton.
By nine this morning, we'd
gotten Liza released from jail.
But three hours earlier,
around six this morning,
I was coming back from Willow Springs
where I'd gone back to pick up my car.
On the way back to my boat,
I needed a cup of coffee.
Damn if I didn't run into Peggy,
one of the pretty girls
from the health club.
Hi Cody.
- Peggy.
- How are you?
I can't complain.
Coming to the gym today?
Not today, pretty lady.
I've been up all night workin'.
Oh, I can get a big picture of that.
Picture
picture, that's it.
That was the key, I had it all the time,
right in front of me in black and white.
I'd been chased so hard
by those three animals
I never really studied it.
I thought it was Liza.
This picture isn't Liza.
How did you know it wasn't me?
Well, I didn't hit me for a while.
We all know that you're left-handed.
Everything you do is with your left hand.
Shane's drawer was pried open
by a right-handed person.
You could tell by the scratches.
The killer in the picture Shane took
was holding the gun in the right hand.
It couldn't have been you, Liza.
You ain't right-handed.
But if it wasn't me,
and it wasn't Stuart,
who did kill Shane.
I knew it had to be a woman
because the height of
the killer in the photo,
and all the guys around
here are over six feet tall
couldn't have been the maid,
'cause I don't think she's smart
enough to disguise herself.
Anita was too drunk, lady
Lillian had her leg in a cast.
The only one left was Luciana.
Luciana, but I thought she was with you.
So did I
after I left Peggy in the coffee shop,
I went straight to
contessa ll uciana's house.
I figured that since she'd left
town, I'd have to break in,
but I didn't know it'd be this easy.
She'd left me a key and a note
telling me to go on in.
I went on in, found another note
telling me to play a tape recorder.
This lady was way ahead of me.
Cody, by the time you hear this,
I'll be in Hawaii
I knew you wouldn't let an
innocent person go to jail.
I did leave you some obvious clues,
and I knew your analytical mind
would eventually find them all.
I remember the first time we made love.
You were thirsty afterward,
so the next time we made love
at the Chamberlain house after the party,
it was easy for me to give
you a sleeping powder,
and I went downstairs to
Shane's room and killed him.
I disguised myself as Liza
in case I was spotted.
Shane took a picture of me before he died.
I purposely pried open his
drawer from the right side,
then I intentionally
took the wrong camera.
I counted on you to figure out
that the person in the
picture was not Liza.
Shane was about to ruin
the lives of people I love.
He was also a traitor and a
threat to our national defense.
He was Johnathon Harper's
courier to the Russians.
I'm not just another pretty face.
Of course, you will keep it confidential
that I work for the government,
specifically Douglas wilton.
Douglas and I planned Shane's elimination.
There are some things I can't tell you,
but Luciana was investigating
Johnathon Harper.
Shane worked for Harper.
They were selling computer
secrets for the Russians.
No one had been able to catch them
Shane's murder brought in the police.
The federal agents needed to do this
to conceal their involvement
the police, well they
promptly arrested Stuart
by mistake.
Did Luciana send me those
awful pictures, and why?
To throw the blame on Stuart.
I knew the pictures
I sent of Shane with Anita
plus the pictures the police
found of Shane with Stuart
would make Stuart the prime murder suspect
and allow me time to get out of town.
Lift the red cloth and you will see
how I disguised myself as Liza.
As you know, I'm an artist.
I was able to make a
mask similar to this one
and wear it the night I killed Shane.
It will melt in a matter of seconds.
There will be no evidence
- 1 don't believe it.
- Except for your eyes only.
As I mentioned, I'm in Hawaii.
Two things are clear to me.
One, I had you figured correctly.
You're not only a very attractive man,
but an intelligent one, also.
And two, that you would help
us get rid of Johnathon Harper.
As soon as you can wrap up the situation,
I want you and your body over here.
I can't wait
I'm counting the days.
Ciao, Cody.
Oh my.
You see, Johnathon was
convinced that Liza killed Shane
because of the information
he got from maid Marian.
He sent those two outlaws to
the Chamberlain beach house,
and then the three stooges
to my boat and the racetrack
to try to kill me and get back the film.
He wanted to protect Liza and her money.
Funny thing is, if he had
gotten a hold of that film,
he would've blackmailed her
for the rest of her life.
Greed is such an awful thing.
Between murder, blackmail,
and selling computer
secrets to our enemies,
I think Johnathon's gonna be
put away for a long, long time.
I do wish Luciana hadn't killed Shane,
it's such an inconvenience
good help is so very
hard to find, you know?
Except where you're concerned, Cody.
You're just a wonderful cowboy,
why, you'd help any woman
in distress, wouldn't you?
Would I help any woman in distress?
Yes ma'am, I would.
Oh, Cody abeline.
My abeline.
2 and headed for the
bright lights of L.A. j
he made a lotta ladies cry j
when he told them goodbye j
and headed out across
the lonestar state j
he still wears a beat up stetson j
and his blue jeans j
his cowboy boots and a big old 44 j
he drinks his whiskey straight j
the only thing he likes to chase j
d is bad guys and ladies of the night j
d so don't ever think the
cowboys are all gone j
j 'cause there's always one
around to prove you wrong j
they'll always be cowboys in the world j
you might be buyin' him drinks j
while he's stealin' your girl j
they'll always be cowboys in the world j
So ladies if you run across our hero j
be careful of his smooth-talkin' ways j
he's just lookin' for romance j
and if you want to take a chance j
j it might just be your lucky day 7
d so don't ever think the
cowboys are all gone j
j there's always one
around to prove you wrong j
j there'll always be
cowboys in the world j
you might be buyin' him drinks j
while he's stealin' your girl j
j there'll always be
cowboys in the world j
j there'll always be
cowboys in the world j
In here, Cody.
Moving or stationary?
Moving.
Oh!
God damn it, you hooligan.
See ya next week, John.
I can hardly wait.
Oh wow, great man!
Peg, you got this car really runnin' good.
What was the time?
We did a 1:07!
Way to go baby,
good driving, good luck.
Look at this car, bill.
This car is the tits.
Well?
What do you think, Cody?
They're dynamite.
I meant the driving.
Both of 'em.
The driving and the
body, they're dynamite.
You really are horseshit
at showing emotions,
but I like that in a man, mm?
Yeah.
Eh, did you get some good pictures?
You bet I did, Cody.
All right, take it easy.
You, too.
- And you, woman.
- Mm.
Rodney, that cowboy sure can drive.
June, I'll be he can.
I'm just testin' my new
little tape recorder I got.
They say all private
investigators need one
so they can keep a record
of their daily routines.
I hope my days are never routine.
Like today,
I went out and watched my
old friend June khnockers,
spelled with an h, test her race car.
God, she's got some great moves.
Started at the pistol range.
I went over and hit the target.
At least I hit the board
that held the target.
Just pullin' up to the
Marina now, where I reside.
Well, that's it, 10-four,
adios, over and out, good buddy.
Cody, as you know, we're
on the yacht club committee,
and the fact that you have brought
this most obtrusive thing here
is beyond our comprehension.
You must get rid of it
as soon as possible.
Now Doug,
as you and the committee all know,
my daddy founded this yacht
club more than 25 years ago.
My daddy and I also built this,
and my mama, god rest her soul.
It can't be torn down
not just yet, anyway.
Hey come on, my daddy's
representing this yacht club
in the transpac.
Well Cody, he'd do a lot better
if he didn't have an all-girl crew.
He's been lost four times in six days.
What's he doin' out there?
All-girl crew?
Probably just got blown off course.
He always was a rather
eccentric young man.
Mama was afraid of airplanes and boats,
but she loved trains.
She was killed last year
when a private rail car
jumped the track, so in her memory,
daddy and I painted a picture of a caboose
and put it up in front of our boat.
God, I hope that's a cigarette lighter.
Oh.
Hi, I'm may, and this
is my friend, Faye.
We just arrived from corpus
christi on my daddy's boat.
We're in the slip next to you,
and since we're gonna be here for a while,
we thought we might
like to get to know you
just a little bit better.
We think it's the
neighborly thing to do.
We didn't think you were ever
gonna get outta the shower.
Well, how'd you girls
get by my security system?
We have our ways.
Ooh-wee, I must be livin' right
to have these lovelies
pullin' into the slip right next door.
You know, we haven't got
our water hooked up yet,
and we was wonderin' if maybe may and I
could come over and take a shower here
oh, you poor ladies, let's
see what I can do for you.
It's right down here.
We've got a problem.
The Russians are five years
behind us in computer knowledge
yet they're stealing our
stuff right out from under us.
How?
First, they tried to buy some banks
in the San Francisco area, to
upend the computers and chips.
When that didn't work, they
set up industrial fronts
to buy all the best computers.
They send them to friendly
nations, and then,
then the Russians pay
enormous amounts of money
to obtain them from our
so called allies.
There are entire companies
here that do nothing but this.
We're coming down on them
just as fast as we can.
So what does that have to do with me?
I was having a wonderful
vacation in the south of France.
We've traced one of the major operations
to a dear old friend of yours.
Lady Lillian Chamberlain.
I don't believe...
We wanna get somebody in there
and check out what's going
on, but I can't be you.
You're too close to lady
Chamberlain and the household.
No one should suspect anything.
Who else could do the job?
Oh, I have someone in mind.
In fact, I was with him earlier
today at the yacht club.
I think you'll be impressed.
Name's Cody abilene.
I'm in love with the
girl in the centerfold j
in playboy magazine j
she's got to be the prettiest girl j
d that I think I've ever seen j
just look at that smile
and look at blouse j
hey, here's your towel.
While she's lyin' down
there in the grass
I'm in love with the
girl in the centerfold j
in playboy magazine j
there's some writin' on the pages j
says her father is a preacher j
j her mother is a doctor
and she's a school teacher jb
and I'll bet she knows an
awful lot about the golden rule j
Cody, Cody, Cody.
I understand you're a
private investigator.
And we wanna know if you'll
investigate our privates.
Mm-hm
bad timin', little
ladies, I gotta go to work.
Oh.
Come on, scoot your butts outside.
I'll catch you later.
- Oh no, Cody.
- Oh, Cody.
Come on.
My new read-out pager
says that Douglas f. Wilton
wants me to call him, urgent.
He wants me to see some
European contessa named Luciana
and get to know her.
He says she's good lookin'.
Good evening,
Cody, please come in.
Contessa, hope I'm not late.
You could never be too late
call me Luciana.
Douglas wilton has told me all about you.
I hope I can come up with a
few surprises, like this one.
Oh, thank you.
I'm gonna take you
someplace special tonight,
and I do believe your
body could put some life
into this simple frock.
Please come in and sit down
help yourself to some wine.
I'm gonna try this on for size.
I'll be just a minute.
Well?
Wow
Uh, water.
Sorry babe, I gotta have some water.
Bless you.
You're marvelous
but I didn't just bring you in for sex.
I have a few things to fill you in on.
Pleasure before business,
I like that in a woman
I'm in love with the
girl in the centerfold j
of playboy magazine j
hey Cody, where you goin', darlin'?
Top of the mornin', ladies.
Come on over and go dancing!
Come on!
I'd love to, but I gotta go to work.
Ladies take it easy, now.
- Come on, Cody.
- Cody.
Uh!
What are we supposed to do without you?
Cody, c'mon.
D girl in the centerfold j
of playboy magazine j
I'm in love with the
girl in the centerfold j
contessa Luciana somehow
talked me into taking
the Douglas f. Wilton job.
I'm headin' up to bel air now, and, oh no.
Not the buffington family.
We got you now, boy!
We're gonna tear you a new butt!
Yeah
with what?
With my son's little
white Pontiac over there.
- Yeah.
- With that little thing?
This sports car's gonna eat you up.
You think your car's fast,
wait till you see what this one's...
30 years ago at Charlotte,
my daddy beat ol' pl buffington
here in a stock car race.
He's been mad at our
whole family ever since.
He's got Doreen, his fat wife,
his boy bobo here in a feud now.
Pl's just dyin' to have
his boy beat me in a race
every chance he gets.
Beat you all over the road, that's...
All right, where do
you wanna go do this?
Fox canyon, just follow us down.
Yeah.
- See you at fox canyon.
- Ha-ha!
Come on, boy!
You gonna lose it now.
Hey Cody, me and my
car's gonna get you, boy!
Let's go, come on!
You don't have
a chance, bobo, friend.
Hey!
We got him!
Woo-hoo-hoo!
Just remember the alamo.
I'll get you next time.
Right, boy, see ya later!
- I got him!
- Get him, let's go, boy!
I won, I won, daddy!
I won, mama!
With this little thing?
I'll show you.
With this right here, ha-hal!
What's that?
Nitrous oxide, ha!
But don't it hurt the car?
Yeah, runs like hell for
20 seconds, then it blows up.
It was worth it, boy.
That's right, we beat you, Cody!
Hey Cody, how's it going?
Hey Mitch.
Take a look at this car, and
tell me how come a four-banger
just blew me off the road.
Sure, no problem.
Hey, Cody.
So how's my daddy's olds goin'?
It's comin' good.
It should be done in a day or two.
You're really gonna like this sucker.
We'll deliver it over to your yacht.
Got anything I can use in the meantime?
Well, I got this old
black Ford over here.
Keys are in it.
Okay.
Oh, uh, there are a couple
bags in the delorean.
- I'll get 'em for ya.
- Thanks.
Well, I'm still headin' for bel air,
to the home of lady Lillian Chamberlain.
Contessa I uciana's father
and lady Lillian were lovers
in Europe several years back.
They're still friends.
Luciana moved to this country from Italy
and has remained close
to lady Chamberlain.
Lady Chamberlain wants
me to stay at the house
for a few days just to check things out.
Bel air has nothing but
rolls royces, Mercedes,
Cadillacs, feraris.
So I pull up in this
borrowed Ford, but hell,
with my sophisticated style, good looks,
nobody's gonna pay any
attention to what I'm drivin"
Howdy.
Cody abilene, lady Lillian's expecting me.
Come on in, you're late.
Nice car
She's out by the pool, follow me.
Luciana told me lady
Lillian had broke her leg
in a skiing accident.
She'll be in this wheelchair
for about three more months.
Mr. abilene, how very
nice to see you again.
Lady Lillian, you're lookin' wonderful.
Thank you.
Shane, bring in Mr. abilene's bags.
You got a real charmer, there.
People say I'm crazy,
but I just know there's
something going on in this house
behind my back.
My nephew Stuart, his wife,
Anita, and my niece, Liza,
all ive here with me
since they're parents were
killed in an accident.
Then, of course, there's
Shane, you met him,
and my maid, Marian.
She's a friend of Shane's,
wait till you see her.
She is really off the wall.
Oh, baby, mm.
Mm, so my much better
than tennis.
Shane, Shane, where the hell are you?
Damn it, I'm late.
I gotta get back to the house.
Shane Reeves, god damn it!
Oh, somebody oughta
take that bullhorn and.
Ouch!
What if that leaves a Mark.
Don't worry, Mrs. Chamberlain.
Your husband'll never see it
Shane.
What did a guy like you do in jail?
Ate a lotta furniture, baby.
Shane, meet us in the living room.
Cody, would you please
take me to the living room?
It's that way.
Yes ma'am.
Oh, there you are, Anita.
Shane, where have you been?
Make sure the cook knows
Mr. abilene will be here for dinner.
Yes, lady Lillian.
Darling, Anita, come here.
This is Cody abilene.
Cody, this is my nephew's wife.
My pleasure, ma'am.
Cody will be staying
with us for a few days.
How nice
I'd finally get a chance
to meet the Chamberlain family.
I don't know where that child is
Liza's comin' down in a minute.
I said hello earlier
to Anita's husband, Stuart Chamberlain.
He's okay, I guess.
He seems a little light
in his loafers, though.
Oh Liza, there you are.
You're late dear, we had
to start without you.
Liza, this is Cody abilene.
Cody is our house guest.
I noticed your car.
Really nice.
Yeah well, I like to drive.
I just bet you do.
Cody, do you cook?
Mm, not much.
Well what do you
usually make for dinner?
Reservations
very good.
The Chamberlain family is an odd mixture
to say the least.
I had to leave right after
dinner because twice a week,
I meet with my lady cop
friend, sergeant Beverly mcafee
for a workout.
Usually we go dancing
and playing afterwords.
Tonight, she's gotta go
back to work, though.
Damn
this place is filled with
great-lookin' bodies.
Exercise is okay, but
girl-watchin's what I do best.
I love lookin' at that
gorgeous Diana, hoo.
The luscious lorette, oh my,
and the outrageously sexy Peggy.
Beverly's still one of my
favorite ladies, though.
Don't they ever give you
the night off, Beverly?
Nine to five looks so good right now.
No one ever told you
bein' a cop would be easy.
Hey Luke, take a look
at that chump over there.
Yeah I know, she's into the little boys,
I don't know what she see in them,
she need to get herself a real man.
Well, I see
we got a couple of new
show offs workin' out.
Wonder how things are workin' out
back at the Chamberlain place.
Shane, what the hell are you doing?
What does it look like I'm doing?
- Get away from me!
- Come on.
Relax baby, come on.
- Ow.
- Come on.
Come on baby, oh yeah.
Come on, Liza.
Yeah, that's it.
Mm.
Thanks a lot, I enjoyed it.
Damn you, Shane, you son of a bitch!
Stuart.
Stuart, what are you looking at?
Uh, nothing, I thought
I heard something.
Ah, times crossword puzzle.
Can I help you with a word?
Ah, you don't mind if I join you, do you?
This is a great day.
You know, you don't
have to be nice to me.
Oh, I insist on it.
Us Texas boys are known for it.
That's really some bullshit.
Thank you, maid Marian.
How about some lunch?
We have some escargot.
Snails, no thanks.
I make it a point never to eat
anything that leaves a trail.
Of all days to be stuck here.
My Mercedes is in the shop,
and I really need to get to palm Springs.
How about Shane the chauffeur?
Forget that son of a bitch.
Well can I drive you where you're going?
Sure, why not?
Shane's probably slipping
it to Anita anyway.
I believe you texans call it layin' pipe.
They get it on at the beach house.
You know about that, don't you?
Oh yeah.
Oh, you're the greatest baby, mm.
Oh yeah.
Oh, that's it, mm.
Oh yeah, mm, oh baby.
Mm, delicious.
We're late baby, come
on, we gotta get goin'.
So uh, what's your friend's name?
Johnathon Harper, he's in computers.
He buys and sell 'em worldwide.
You know, a lot of
people have been caught
sellin' those illegally
to communist countries.
I assume he's legitimate.
Johnathon's reputation is fine with me.
I'm investing in his company.
Besides, I only asked you
for a ride, not your opinion.
Oh, okay.
Shane.
Shower time.
Come on in.
Hey baby, you're too much.
I'll meet you in the car.
There's Johnathon
Harper's building, Cody.
Jay, the new computers
are coming in next week,
and I want you to have
a look at those, also.
Yes sir, Mr. Harper.
Hi
Liza, darling, how are you?
This is Cody abilene, he drove me here.
My Mercedes broke down.
Your car is always breaking down.
Well, that's the way it goes.
Cody, my name is Johnathon Harper.
- Howdy.
- How do you do?
Liza, have you got the
financing we talked about?
Yes, I do.
Thank you.
Hey, what about the
other night, hey, ho.
- Hey.
- Oh yeah.
- How's it goin'.
- Look at those legs.
- What do we have here?
- Look at the face.
Oh, look at this body,
veah, great lookin' guy.
Cool it.
The lady's an investor.
- Investor.
- Hey look, Liza.
I think we've seen enough
of these gentlemen.
Let's get outta here.
No, I'm staying, I
have business to discuss.
Suit yourself.
Liza, these are three of my friends,
Matthew, Mark, and Luke.
They're here to help us.
Do me a favor, wait over there
for a few minutes, darling.
I'll be right with you.
- Okay.
- Okay?
See to it that his ass
leaves these premises.
Yeah, and the rest of his body, too.
Hey you, why don't
you pull over for a sec?
I gotta talk to you.
That's okay, I can find my own way.
If you don't pull over, I'm
gonna fuckin' put you over.
He's a pretty boy, isn't he?
What, you lookin' to fuck 'em?
Yeah, maybe, yeah.
Guys, guys.
Fuck, you don't wanna mess with me.
You see this body?
This body is a lethal weapon.
I could kill you guys in a second.
I'll show you lethal weapons.
Oh, shit.
Hi-yal!
Yah!
Lethal weapon my ass.
Pick his ass up.
- Turn the thing.
- You see this, huh?
How do you like this, longhorn?
How do you feel without a dick, huh?
Get outta here.
You wouldn't happen to
have a loaner, would you?
- Happy trails!
- Yeah, happy trails!
- Yeah go for it.
- You got it.
Yoo-hoo!
We're only kidding.
No seriously, come on back!
Yah!
Let's get, let's get outta
here, come on, let's go.
I need the
fastest thing on this lot.
Sugar, I'm the fastest
thing on this lot.
Oh, mercy.
Come back real soon, you hear?
Yeah, right.
Boy, that was really a
horseshit trip to palm Springs.
I got my ass whipped,
my borrowed car shot up,
and I was raped.
You know, time to see just
what the hell is goin' on
around here.
Sure Shane, you can screw
around with this thing
for as long as you want, but
I'm here to tell ya, asshole,
your health, ya dig, your
health, it's gonna suffer.
You can bet the whole
goddamn farm on that, pal.
- I'll pay.
- When?
When I got it.
Hey Shane.
You still messin' around
with that broad you work for?
Well maybe you'll pay up pretty soon, eh?
Remember, you owe us 30 grand.
- Well?
- Well
I owe a guy some money, he's
being a nuisance, that's all.
How stupid to let your
scuzzy gambling friends
call you here.
Come here, baby.
To hell with you.
Maybe it'd be all right
to have some things said about you.
What said about me?
Get your hand off me.
I don't know,
like maybe something about this rich lady,
an ex-con has been living in her house?
Right, the house man.
And what's been going on
right under her queer hubby's
little turned up faggot nose.
I got some state of the
art video on you, baby.
I also got some pictures you oughta see.
Ooh, here's some with you on top.
You filthy, no good, son of a bitch.
Bastard!
I wasn't gonna show 'em to anybody.
Your husband doesn't know anything.
I'm not stupid, Shane.
Anita baby, come here.
I hope to hell the
gamblers get you, Shane,
and I hope they tear you in little bits.
You little whore
Okay Shane, let's go,
and take me to the club.
Shane is driving Stuart in
the Chamberlain limousine.
I'm following them along the sunset strip.
I heard just enough
outside of Shane's room
to make me wonder what
the hell else he's up to.
Well, they're makin' a u-turn
and stoppin' across the street.
I'm really surprised an
ex-con would assume my morals
to be an issye.
How very naive of you, Shane.
You can only get away so long
with performing here for kicks.
I'll take my chances.
You'll have a better chance
to continue playing queen
for a day if you help me out.
I need 30 big ones right away.
Why, that's blackmail.
How would you like to go back to prison
for another five years?
Wouldn't this be cute of
us in the faggot gazette?
That's you on the bottom, sweets.
Suppose I were to take
this threat seriously,
which I don't for a minute,
to whom would I entrust the money?
Me, of course.
Tomorrow night at lady
Lillian's charity party.
Doesn't leave us much time, does it?
But then why should I
keep you in suspense?
The answer is no, now
drive me to the entrance.
Shane's pullin' the limo
in front of the screaming cockatoo.
This should be good.
- Hi.
- Stuart, you look wonderful.
Thank you, I feel good.
I don't believe this one
Stuart has just turned into
the most gorgeous woman.
Love that dress!
Thank you.
You like, huh?
Yeah, you have
great legs, love it.
Thank you, what a day I had.
- Really?
- Let me tell you about it.
Come on. - Tell me.
I knew he was different, but wow.
Do me a favor, Frederick,
please, don't forget to come
to lady Chamberlain's tomorrow.
It's very important.
Oh, I don't, Stuart.
I'm gonna have to work, but
I'll definitely be there.
Thank you.
Here's to it.
Goodies on a tray.
Hors d'oeuvres?
What an
assortment under one roof.
Lady Chamberlain thinks I'm
here to check on her family.
Luciana has me involved in espionage.
God, I love intrigue.
God, I love Luciana's white dress.
Let's have some champagne
and toast my art-selling trip tomorrow.
I'll toast, but I
better stay alert tonight.
Can I have some designer water?
You are continental.
Well, have a safe flight.
Let's toast to us bein' together tonight.
You know, we have worldwide
computer investments
for those people who've
trusted us with their finances.
We've made enormous profits for them.
Things look even better in the future.
You know, Johnathon,
I think your interest
in our little Liza here
is something just a bit
more than financial
Luciana, I mean contessa.
Would you like some champagne?
You know that snake?
I spent a few days with
lady Lillian last month.
He was around then
- cheese?
- Hey Tommy,
look who we got here, it's maid Marian.
You look very foxy tonight, maid Marian.
Just because we all work for Johnathon
doesn't mean you creeps
can put your hands on me.
Ho-ho-ho.
Hello, Shane.
Hello, dick.
What are you doin' here?
We control the catering
service here, you know that.
I'm here to collect the
bread you owe us, remember?
Yeah
well time's runnin' out, asshole.
I'll see ya later.
Stuart Chamberlain, please.
Yes, it's very important.
Tell him it's Frederick calling.
You have a telephone call.
Thank you.
Hello?
Hello, Stuart?
Did you forget about our date tonight?
Of course
not, Frederick, darling.
Where are you?
This is Shane, Stuart darling.
Remember tonight's the night.
I need that money.
I told you, you thieving bastard,
I said no, and I meant it.
Faggot.
You like that, lover boy, hm?
It's like you've been
avoiding me all evening.
Now you come up with the
bread, or guess who's dead.
Now listen, asshole, I'm
not leaving here tonight
without the money.
Now you get it up, or I'm
gonna cut your fuckin' face.
Don't cut me, please, please.
You understand?
Yeah
tonight, tonight.
Oh, damn it.
That son of a bitch.
That bitch
maid Marian, she is something else.
Did you hear that she
got raped this afternoon
by two homosexuals.
One held her down, and the
other one did her hair.
Hors d'oeuvre, Mr. Chamberlain?
Slut.
Good night, thank you for coming.
Oh, you rascal.
Good night, good night.
Thank you, Luciana.
Thank you, Lillian.
Good seeing you.
Good night, Cody.
Shane, come here.
Dead tired, please take me to my room.
Yes, lady Lillian.
Hi, this is Regis philbin,
along with my wife, joy.
Tonight's program is about love.
The whole world depends on, on love.
Exactly, and I think people
should respect each other's feelings.
Oh, if you have that respect.
I have some love
for ya, Regis and joy.
But it's really the love
that engenders that respect.
Thattaway to go, baby.
Stuart better show up with that money.
Dick's gonna be here soon,
and he's not gonna wait
much longer for that dough.
Damn it, what am I gonna do?
You know, we
were talking about love
the other day, and I guess I
can't forget some of the things
that were expressed
here about relationships
and about how people really
should feel about one another.
Men and women, men and men.
Everybody should
have that basic love
for one another, it's so important.
I think you're right.
Where there's no
Sincere feeling of love.
As a matter of fact, I
think it's the lack of love
that's killing us all today.
To relate to each other
after all, love is what
makes the world go 'round.
Ah, I feel great today.
I feel hot.
I'l drink to that
What's that?
Well Shane, you win some, you lose some.
Poor Shane.
Luciana, the plane
leaves in a couple hours.
I want you to get outta here.
I'll vouch for you, we
were together all night.
I'd rather stay here with you.
I'm worried
don't worry, I can take care of this.
You really don't wanna get involved,
I have to call the police now.
You take of yourself.
Looks like he was shot, stabbed,
and still made it out here.
Sure was tough sum' bitch.
Hey, what's goin on in his room?
Anita?
What the hell are you doin' here?
I don't know
I don't know, I.
I just came in through
the service entrance,
I saw blood
is it Shane?
Everything's such a mess, I just got here.
It's a shock, I guess.
Go in the house, tell
everybody to meet me by the pool.
Go, do it!
Let's see, I saw Shane put
those pictures of Anita
in one of these drawers.
Well, they ain't here now.
Hm, there's blood on this camera.
Looks like it's got
some exposed film in it.
I better check this out
The killer must've jimmied
these drawers open.
Hm
Oh, this is a terrible thing.
Shane was such a good driver.
And though I'm sorry, I
feel as though it's my fault.
I wouldn't say that
when the police get here.
But I was the one that hired him
I know what you meant.
Fxcuse me.
- Uh-huh.
- I just can't wait to see.
Oh baby, the sound of your
voice is drivin' me crazy.
I tell you baby, I'm only as a beer can,
but I'm real long, you know?
- Oh god.
- I know what you mean.
Oh murder, when you get hot,
you let your husband watch,
it makes me very crazy.
Hi Sally, it's Cody abilene,
you got anything for me?
Cody, you sexy, gorgeous cowboy.
Cody, tell me what you're wearing.
I bet you're wearing
those sexy, tight jeans.
I'd love to have you here.
You're too much
Cody, I want you so bad.
I wanna feel your manhood
pressed against me, oh.
- I understand.
- Baby.
I want you so bad right now.
Okay look, I'll get back
to you on that, all right?
You sexy man.
Your tongue would really
enjoy being on me.
My nipples are even hard
just talking to you.
Get on the horn
and get the police over here
to the Chamberlain house
as soon as possible.
It's a homicide
god, I wish you could come
through this phone right now.
Yeah look, just call
the police, all right?
I'll talk to you later.
Did you learn anything, Cody?
Yes ma'am, I sure did.
I'm gonna go take a cold shower now.
The police'll be here
in about five minutes.
Y'all wait right here.
The police could have me thrown in jail
for withholding evidence,
but I wanna be the first
to see this film when it's developed.
I better hide this goodie
before they get here.
Some layout.
Yeah
it. Arledge, Beverly.
Cody aveline.
I should've known you'd
be involved in this.
Come on in, I'll show you the way.
How well do you know this guy?
Oh, pretty well.
Well, I know him very well.
Don't let that cowboy charm fool you.
He graduated summa cum
laude from Texas university.
Everyone standby.
Chamberlain family, this is it. Arledge.
How do you do?
- Sergeant mcafee.
- Hello.
Morning.
Lady Chamberlain, this arrived
in my office this morning.
It's for you.
Oh, thank you.
Oh my.
Uh, they're with you.
Taken with Shane.
How cozy.
Take them, it. Arledge.
Uh, can I take a look at these?
Nice composition.
A little out of focus.
It's what we call hard evidence
they were taken at the beach house.
How could you, Anita?
Lady Lillian gave him
a key to the beach house.
When?
Uh-huh, mm-hm.
He left with the lady cop,
oh, about 20 minutes ago.
Okay.
Well, maybe we'll find something
at the Chamberlain beach house.
Lt. Arledge
thinks Stuart did it.
Oh yeah, how come?
Those pictures
of Shane and Anita
we saw a while ago.
That's a pretty strong
motive, don't you think?
Yeah, I guess.
He had the opportunity, but
so did a lot of other people.
Fun little playhouse.
Interesting place.
What do you hope to find here?
Clues.
Pictures, electronics.
But you know me.
I just like to cover all the angles.
Oh yes.
Speaking of angles,
have I told you how
good you've been lookin'
since you've been goin' to the gym?
Well no, but I'm glad you noticed.
Of course, I, uh, haven't had a chance
to take in the whole thing.
Well, aren't you in for a treat?
So are you.
Oh really?
Top this.
I'll give it my best shot.
Hey, you wanna see a home movie of us?
Oh, sure Cody.
You won't believe what I found.
A remote control for a video camera.
And when did you find that?
I'd rather not say.
Talk about a soap opera.
We should have our own show
looks like Shane the
photographer set this up.
Sure was a good ol' boy.
I got all day for this.
The shit-kickin' private eye, a hag,
and and a roll of film.
I'll take that.
It's my case.
When it's murder, the
police take control.
Besides, I paid for it
with my very own body.
And you were worth every frame of it.
Well, thank you kindly, ma'am.
Piece of cake.
Let's go, Tommy.
Did you just hear somethin' outside?
Shower, check it out.
I'll cover us outside
Go ahead, go for it.
Make my day.
Watch out!
Oh!
Go for it?
Make my day?
Are you serious?
Careful now, Beverly.
There's still one out there
Cody, the door.
There he is. - He's mine.
Jesus, stay stay, I got him.
God damn.
Look out, Beverly!
Oh.
Hey, I coulda hit him.
Oh really?
All right, it's these hands.
They're the lethal weapons.
Yeah, just be careful
when you play with yourself.
So, who knew we were coming out here?
I almost hate to say.
Lady Lillian?
You got it.
Damn it
damn it
okay.
I'll call the lieutenant
over at the Chamberlain house
and tell him what happened here.
Okay.
Look, if you can handle the calvary,
I'll go to my boat and
get a couple things done.
Okay.
Call my service if you need me.
Cody?
I need a kiss
You gonna be okay?
I'll be fine.
Beverly's right.
Who else knew we were comin' out here?
Could lady Lillian be a suspect?
Nah
on my way back to the Marina,
I stopped by the grocery store
to get me a peanut brittle candy bar.
I just need to think things through.
Hey!
Hey, there you are, Cody!
Oh, no.
Not the buffington family again.
Come on, let's go!
What's wrong, you yellow?
I don't wanna race you guys!
- Chicken, you're chicken!
- Come on.
All I have is this
junked out old Datsun z.
It wouldn't even be fair.
Fair?
You want fair, go to church, boy.
Come on, let's go, come
on, I'm ready, let's go!
Come on!
I picked this car
'specially just to race you.
So, you ready?
Watch this, watch this, Cody.
Huh, hey, how 'bout that, huh?
All right, come on! - Damn.
Now they even got a low-rider.
Come on, boy!
Come on, bobo, come on boy, get 'em!
Yeah, boy, we win!
Yeah, look at this!
Once again, I've been
disgraced by the buffingtons.
I'm rapidly losing face.
If I don't whip their butts next time,
my daddy's gonna whip mine.
Be careful.
This cowboy killed Peter
and Tommy this afternoon.
Watch him
You stay here and cover us.
Okay, Matt.
What are you doin' here?
Nevermind, move over.
I was hopin' you'd say that.
Shouldn't we take your boots off?
Okay now listen, when I say so,
I want you to dive on that
floor, and get down low.
- This is kinky.
- Oh no.
This 1s nice, this is nice.
This gonna be fun.
Just do it, come on
girls, this is serious.
- Oh my god!
- Wait a minute.
- Yah!
- Down, down!
Oh my god!
- Shit!
- Oh, Faye!
- Oh no, no!
- Qutta here!
- Son of a bitch!
- What's going on here?
What the hell was that all about?
You girls stay here,
do not leave this room!
- Faye, what's going on?
- I don't know, I don't know.
- Oh Faye, oh god!
- Oh no, no!
What is going on here?
What the hell
was that about? Oh my.
Shit.
Hey man, what are you...
He shot me, you goddamn idiot!
Oh my god, Faye!
I can't believe what's happening.
- Oh my god, may.
- God damn it, you two.
Damn it you two, listen
to me. I want that film!
Where's that film at?
I know it's in here somewhere, damn it.
That pisses me off,
where's the god damn film.
I know it's in here somewhere.
Cops, we gotta move, man.
We got the cops on our ass right now.
We gotta move, come on.
We gotta move.
You sure you don't know
where the film's at?
No, I don't know
what you're talkin' about.
Hey, you better not
be holdin' out on me,
I'll tell you right now
'cause that pisses me off.
Ow.
Yo man, what the
hell happened to your ear?
- Shut up!
- Come on.
Come on Luke, get in!
Damn it, I let 'em
get away in that caddy.
Well, I better get the girls off my boat
so I can get a little sleep.
Hello?
Jesus Beverly, it's the crack of dawn.
Listen Cody,
the lieutenant just
arrested Stuart Chamberlain
for Shane's murder.
He found some pictures of
Stuart and Shane together.
Listen Beverly, I got
somethin' to tell ya.
I found another roll of film
there over in Shane's dresser
before you came over.
You held that out on me?
Yeah, well it was my case first.
Well, it's not your
case any longer, cowboy.
I sure would like to
get that film developed.
Do you really think the
film's that important?
No question about it.
They tried killin' us for it yesterday,
and I was told by a
couple of reliable sources
that they were still
lookin' for it last night.
Cody, are you alone?
No, there's a topless
girl serving me coffee
and a beautiful dancing girl with batons.
Get serious Beverly, of course I'm alone.
I sure would like to
know what's on that film.
You've gotta get it developed.
Yeah but knowing Shane,
I don't think I wanna take
it to the local drugstore.
Listen, I got an idea,
lemme call you right back.
Sally's phone and lip
service, may I help you?
Yeah, good morning, Sally.
Listen, can you give me June
khnockers at Willow Springs?
Cody, it's you, where are you?
I'm on my boat.
I'd love to raise your sails
and tighten your jib sheet.
I want you to batten down my hatch.
I can't wait
we're gonna do it port and
starboard, fore and aft.
Please, sal,
I have all I can take
this mornin', all right?
Sure baby, is that khnockers with an h?
You got it.
Cody, does she give better
lip service than I do?
Honey, that's a negatory.
Well then, I'll get her for you.
How did you girls get by
my security system again?
I thought I told you
that the Malibu express
is a little dangerous
the next couple days.
Cody, you know you
like havin' us around.
Body by Fisher, brains by mattel.
Oh June, yeah.
Hey Cody, you comin'
out to watch me practice?
Yeah listen, I might.
I got a big favor, I got a
roll of film I need developed.
Is Rodney workin' today?
Yeah, I'm sure she'll
be glad to help you.
Great then, I'll see
you in a couple hours.
Okay, I'll tell her you're comin'.
I can't wait to see you.
Bye.
Yeah.
Oh no.
Yeah look Beverly, can you wait for me
at the Chamberlain house?
We're going out to Willow Springs raceway.
Okay.
I need a moment to
console lady Chamberlain
about Stuart's arrest.
Will you be leaving now?
Um, listen.
I got a couple things
I gotta take care of.
Lady Lillian, I'm very
sorry about Stuart's arrest.
I'll be in touch with you later.
- Thank you so much.
- Sure.
Where is she going?
Willow Springs, ma'am.
- The raceway?
- Yes, ma'am.
Thank you, maid Marian.
You may have the rest of the day off.
Thank you very much, ma'am.
Hey Beverly, how you like this olds?
It belongs to my daddy,
he loves cars and gadgets.
They're on their way to Willow Springs.
Don't count on me for your party.
I'm going to Tijuana for the weekend.
There's a brown
Cadillac back there.
Wonder if it could be
the one from last night.
Better stay on
his ass, and don't lose 'em.
I'm on 'em, I got 'em.
You out of your
fuckin' mind, stay on him!
I'm with him!
What do you want me to
do, make miracles here?
I got 'em, don't worry.
Better stay on his
ass, and don't lose 'em.
Next time, you drive, okay?
I don't want it, you drive next time.
Get him right
now, make it over there.
I got him, I got him.
- Don't lose him.
- I see 'em.
Son of a bitch!
Son of a bitch.
All right, relax.
What the hell is wrong with you?
He's goin' around the field.
We'll get him on the next one.
You asshole!
He's goin' that way, you
missed him you son of a bitch!
Matthew, next time you drive!
Hey June.
Hi
What are you doin' here?
I thought you'd be on the track.
Oh, I just have to
make a few adjustments,
then I'm going out to practice.
Who's that, your older sister?
She's a workin' acquaintance.
Where's Rodney?
Up in the press room,
she's expecting you.
Thanks.
Hi Rodney. - Hi, how you doin'?
- This is Beverly.
- Hi.
Hi Beverly, nice to meet you.
Thanks for doin' this for me.
We need this film developed.
Sure, no problem.
Oh, by the way, it doesn't
have to be good, just fast.
Fast, not good?
Sounds like most men I know.
But I bet you'd be different.
Just get in there,
and call us when you're ready.
Okay, okay.
Look Beverly, June's out there.
Sure can handle that car.
Hey, here's one that
looks a little different.
Looks like somebody standing in a doorway.
I'll bet that's the picture
those goons were after last night.
Listen, can you reprint that
one and just blow up the face?
Sure, it'll take a couple minutes.
Okay, we'll come back.
Come on, let's
go look for that red car.
- All right.
- We'll find this goon.
Here's that blow up you wanted.
I'l be damned
can you believe this?
Well, we better get
on this one right away.
Thanks.
- This is it.
- Get those guns!
Let's go!
Let's go. - Got 'em
Come on, Matthew,
do we need these?
You need 'em!
- Ah!
- You're crazy, crazy!
Fuck off!
Beverly, you okay?
Cody, take this, get away!
Okay babe, just hold
on, I'll get some help.
- Get the goon!
- You're crazy.
You're a lunatic.
What the hell's wrong with you, man?
Come on!
Come on.
Go ahead.
Shit
get inside.
Come on, let's move.
He's right over there, come on.
Move it!
Yah!
God damn piece of shit gun.
Where is he? - I don't know.
- Shit!
- Ah!
Let's go, let's go, come on!
I'm gonna
nail him with a grenade.
- No, not the grenade!
- Just think for once!
Would you think for once?
I'll tell ya, this car is tits.
This car's tits
oh yeah?
Well if that car's tits,
then what are these?
There he is, behind the car.
- Damn!
- You lunatic, you just shot!
I don't believe it!
You just shot a freakin' kid.
This son of a bitch is a mad man.
Shit.
Peg, bill!
Cody, what the hell is goin' on?
Beverly's been shot behind
the car, get some help, go!
I gotta take your car.
You ain't leavin' without me!
Stay outta this!
It's in reverse!
Don't you think I know that?
Why are you shootin', he's already gone!
Shut your fuckin' mouth.
Yah!
Hal
- man.
- Over there, go!
- Come on man.
- You're slick man,
you're really slick.
Man, what's happenin' man?
Get in here.
Bring that old bastard out.
Come on.
- Move.
- Let's go.
You know how to fly this thing?
Yeah
don't fool around.
Oh wow, Cody.
Go for it.
Okay, old man.
Don't fool around.
You do what I tell you, or
I'll blow your head off.
Okay, okay.
I'll do it, I'll do it.
Matthew, you're crazy man.
Who gonna fly this helicopter,
you blow his head off?
I wanna go that way now.
I wanna find that race car.
Understand that?
I love speed.
What's the matter Mark, you scared?
Up yours.
I don't wanna hear it
there it 1s, over there.
- Speed really turns me on.
- What?
Come on, don't you
wanna play around a little?
No, I wanna be waitin' for those guys,
they went and shot Beverly,
they're after us now.
I don't care about Beverly.
Don't you wanna play with me?
I care about us!
Jesus, can you put those things away?
Somebody's makin' it, too.
That's disgusting, blow 'em away.
I can't, all I see is tits.
You don't understand,
these guys are playin' for keeps.
It's my garage,
you're not goin' fast.
I'm doin' 185 miles an hour!
That's nothin'!
Could you get your head down?
- I can't see the road!
- I'll get it down!
You're not
gettin' it down, all right,
now come on, outta my way!
I'd get down if you let me!
What about these, don't they look fun?
Please no, come on!
Please, all I want, later, okay?
If we get outta this alive, please,
I promise you the time of your life.
I want it now.
I can't believe this is happening to me.
I gotta lose these guys, June, come on!
I don't believe it, total rejection.
Listen, any other
time baby, just put 'me on ice.
What are those
guys doin' up there, anyway?
They're trying to shoot us!
That's what they're doing!
Matt, tell 'em to
pull up a little closer.
I'll get a shot, I'll blow out his tires.
Hey you guys,
you wanna fool around?
Say hello to these tits!
Oh my god, he's got a gun!
I've been telling you that!
Floor it, Cody, step on it!
Faster, faster!
Pull away.
We'll circle around him, and
we'll land on the highway.
Then his ass will be ours
Take it over that mountain, bastard.
Holy shit, my goodness!
That must be one of those new turbos.
Woo!
All right,
put this thing down now.
Okay, okay,
I'll do it, don't shoot.
Leave it in
the middle of the road.
I'll be here.
The fuck are you goin'?
No!
Don't go, what are you doin'?
- Damn, he's crazy man!
- What are you doin'?
What are you doin', man?
Cops gonna be by here anytime.
I hope you
have major heart attack!
Calm down, man, I mean shit!
Put this fuckin' thing down now!
- Look out!
- Oh my god, watch it!
Oh shit!
Oh my god!
Take cover, dive!
I don't believe it.
I told that meathead
to cool it with those live grenades.
Outta gas, outta road,
and shit outta luck.
- Damn it.
- Hey Luke,
let's get that Turkey
with the broad, come on.
- All right.
- Come on, go, go!
$100,000, you think it could have doors.
They're coming after, too, come on!
Let's go, come on!
You, get down!
- That Cannon he's got?
- Get back.
What is that?
It's a 44!
Move out, come on!
Wait a minute, let's not kill 'em.
All right, Luke, let's just wing 'em.
Let's just wing 'em and
break his ass in half.
- All right.
- Come on, Cody, let's go!
Come on!
- They're there, over there!
- Where, where?
Stay low, stay low.
- Come on!
- Get down, get down!
Come on, Cody,
they're gonna kill you!
I'll go right, you the left.
Oh my god, we gotta make it.
Let's go!
Cody, get off of me!
Oh. - Where'd they go?
We're in big trouble.
No shit, kemosabe.
You don't understand
I only have one bullet left,
and I've never hit a
moving target in my life.
Here he comes.
- Hey, look at these!
- Ah, yeah.
Ah, shit!
There he is!
Go on, get his gun, I just winged him.
I know what you're thinkin'.
Did I shoot five, or did I shoot six, huh?
Go on, go for it, punk.
Don't shoot me.
Ha-ha, you know this one's loaded.
You were beautiful!
All right look,
we'll send somebody back
for you and your buddy.
- You son of a bitch.
- Come on.
- God damn it.
- Easy.
Watch my side.
Slow man, slow.
Damn it.
Well, those guys won't
need these guns anymore.
I'll tell you one thing,
June's gorgeous front
porch really saved our ass.
Here comes a mobile home.
We gotta stop 'em.
How we gonna stop this thing?
Oh mercy, I'm gonna
stop for this, Ellen.
I guess we must be near Hollywood.
Can we get a ride near
palm Springs, please?
What do you think, honey?
Sure can.
And bring the young lady with
you too, will you please?
Yeah
y'all come right in.
God bless you, sir.
God certainly blessed you, ma'am.
Well buckle up, here we go.
- Thanks a lot.
- Bye-bye!
Okay look, you're going
back to Willow Springs, right?
Give this to Beverly when you get there.
Go to that general store down there,
see if you can't pick
me up a box of these,
hollow tips, all right, a whole box.
Can't I go with you?
You and those were marvelous today,
but I gotta go it alone, okay?
Go get me those shells, now.
Hello?
Yeah, she's here, Beverly, it's for you.
Is that you, Cody?
Yeah, no I'll be okay, where are you?
No, Cody, Cody, wait.
Just wait for me to bring
some back up, please.
A little gift from Shane
before he got knocked off.
What do you think, Liza?
1 don't like it or
your despicable friends.
How dare you get me involved in this?
I invest in your company,
and you show me films
of the jerk chauffeur
making out with Anita?
What's this all about, anyway?
All right, everybody, this party's over!
Now move out!
Now!
You and you, stay.
What the fuck do you think you're doing?
This 1s my home, and these are my clients.
How dare you break in here?
Sit down!
Why?
Why what?
Why'd you kill Shane?
I didn't kill anybody.
You killed Shane.
You don't have to listen to any of this.
You, I don't like you very much,
so you'd be doin' real
good just to sit there
and be a good ol' boy.
Now shut up!
The night of the party,
you went into Shane's room.
You not only stabbed him,
but then you shot him,
and then you made it look like
your brother Stuart did it.
You have no evidence
this folder says I do.
The hell is going on here?
Lieutenant, just in time.
And Beverly, it sure is good
to see you up and around.
It's hard to keep a good cop down.
You wanna explain this to me, Cody?
I think you'll find this
quite interesting, lieutenant.
Our little lady here.
Has been quite busy.
Damn you, Cody,
what are you doin'?
Will you get this off of me?
I'll be damned.
Here, take a look at this.
Both I iza and Johnathon were arrested
case closed, right?
Not so, I'd made a mistake.
The next morning, I
invited everyone involved
to meet me on my boat.
Aw damn, not them again.
We're gonna get you your
pink slip this time, boy.
Okay look, I feel it's only
fair to warn you, though,
this here's my daddy's car.
He's got it all gussied up with power.
We got your gussied up.
My son here's a mechanical genius.
We got a car just waitin'
for ya over at the racetrack.
Racetrack, are you guys serious?
Well, hey daddy, it's
just a little ol' Camaro,
ain't nothin' special.
That's right.
Once again, you're gonna eat our dust.
That's right.
By all means then, lead the way.
- Follow!
- Follow us, come on!
Don't touch the car, don't touch the car.
- Ha!
- Hey, al how's it goin'!
You know, we'll beat 'em.
First thing we're gonna do
is blow Cody's doors off,
then I'm gonna buy you a big
chili and tamale breakfast
oh, I don't eat stuff, nah.
What I want's a filet mignon,
cheese, and some champagne.
Whatever you say, bean bag.
What the hell did he say?
- I don't know.
- Here,
let's line this thing up.
- Yep!
- Line 'em up.
Gimme my helmet, mama!
Give him his helmet.
Come on, baby boy, come on, baby.
You gotta have your helmet.
Come on, wait a minute!
Get in the car, it's over here, boy!
Get in the car, be safe
now, put on your seatbelt.
- Bye.
- Come on!
Come on, baby boy!
Come on, boy!
What is that thing right there?
God dang it!
Open the door, you old fool!
Don't call me a fool, we in public!
Get outta here and that
red fuck is cheatin!
He's cheatin'
daddy, he's cheatin'!
He 1s!
I tell you, it's a rocket.
He cheated!
He cheated!
- Dad burn it, you cheated us!
- He cheated, you cheated!
Look, look, my daddy
would want you to have this.
What'd he give you, daddy?
It's a god damn silver bullet.
You, get outta my sight!
Don't bother my son!
He cheated, he
cheated, you cheater!
Sally's phone and lip
service, may I help you?
Yeah babe, it's Cody.
I just won my rocket race.
Oh Cody, it's you.
I love rockets
I've seen your rocket, and
it's big and beautiful.
Sally, listen. What about
those people I had you line up
to meet me on the boat in a little while?
I've called them
Cody, what's your eta?
I'm on my way there now.
I would like to propose a toast
to a young lady that we're all very happy
to have with us here today.
Liza, would you come out here?
Do you believe this, Beverly?
We just arrested her last night.
What the hell's she doin' here?
Lieutenant, what's the?
You all know I iza
certainly lieutenant and
Beverly know Douglas f. Wilton,
former district attorney
and now high-ranking government official,
and chairman of my daddy's
yacht club committee.
All right boys and girls,
ladies and gentlemen,
get comfortable, and let
me explain it to you.
I'd been up all night
long at the CIA building
with Douglas wilton.
By nine this morning, we'd
gotten Liza released from jail.
But three hours earlier,
around six this morning,
I was coming back from Willow Springs
where I'd gone back to pick up my car.
On the way back to my boat,
I needed a cup of coffee.
Damn if I didn't run into Peggy,
one of the pretty girls
from the health club.
Hi Cody.
- Peggy.
- How are you?
I can't complain.
Coming to the gym today?
Not today, pretty lady.
I've been up all night workin'.
Oh, I can get a big picture of that.
Picture
picture, that's it.
That was the key, I had it all the time,
right in front of me in black and white.
I'd been chased so hard
by those three animals
I never really studied it.
I thought it was Liza.
This picture isn't Liza.
How did you know it wasn't me?
Well, I didn't hit me for a while.
We all know that you're left-handed.
Everything you do is with your left hand.
Shane's drawer was pried open
by a right-handed person.
You could tell by the scratches.
The killer in the picture Shane took
was holding the gun in the right hand.
It couldn't have been you, Liza.
You ain't right-handed.
But if it wasn't me,
and it wasn't Stuart,
who did kill Shane.
I knew it had to be a woman
because the height of
the killer in the photo,
and all the guys around
here are over six feet tall
couldn't have been the maid,
'cause I don't think she's smart
enough to disguise herself.
Anita was too drunk, lady
Lillian had her leg in a cast.
The only one left was Luciana.
Luciana, but I thought she was with you.
So did I
after I left Peggy in the coffee shop,
I went straight to
contessa ll uciana's house.
I figured that since she'd left
town, I'd have to break in,
but I didn't know it'd be this easy.
She'd left me a key and a note
telling me to go on in.
I went on in, found another note
telling me to play a tape recorder.
This lady was way ahead of me.
Cody, by the time you hear this,
I'll be in Hawaii
I knew you wouldn't let an
innocent person go to jail.
I did leave you some obvious clues,
and I knew your analytical mind
would eventually find them all.
I remember the first time we made love.
You were thirsty afterward,
so the next time we made love
at the Chamberlain house after the party,
it was easy for me to give
you a sleeping powder,
and I went downstairs to
Shane's room and killed him.
I disguised myself as Liza
in case I was spotted.
Shane took a picture of me before he died.
I purposely pried open his
drawer from the right side,
then I intentionally
took the wrong camera.
I counted on you to figure out
that the person in the
picture was not Liza.
Shane was about to ruin
the lives of people I love.
He was also a traitor and a
threat to our national defense.
He was Johnathon Harper's
courier to the Russians.
I'm not just another pretty face.
Of course, you will keep it confidential
that I work for the government,
specifically Douglas wilton.
Douglas and I planned Shane's elimination.
There are some things I can't tell you,
but Luciana was investigating
Johnathon Harper.
Shane worked for Harper.
They were selling computer
secrets for the Russians.
No one had been able to catch them
Shane's murder brought in the police.
The federal agents needed to do this
to conceal their involvement
the police, well they
promptly arrested Stuart
by mistake.
Did Luciana send me those
awful pictures, and why?
To throw the blame on Stuart.
I knew the pictures
I sent of Shane with Anita
plus the pictures the police
found of Shane with Stuart
would make Stuart the prime murder suspect
and allow me time to get out of town.
Lift the red cloth and you will see
how I disguised myself as Liza.
As you know, I'm an artist.
I was able to make a
mask similar to this one
and wear it the night I killed Shane.
It will melt in a matter of seconds.
There will be no evidence
- 1 don't believe it.
- Except for your eyes only.
As I mentioned, I'm in Hawaii.
Two things are clear to me.
One, I had you figured correctly.
You're not only a very attractive man,
but an intelligent one, also.
And two, that you would help
us get rid of Johnathon Harper.
As soon as you can wrap up the situation,
I want you and your body over here.
I can't wait
I'm counting the days.
Ciao, Cody.
Oh my.
You see, Johnathon was
convinced that Liza killed Shane
because of the information
he got from maid Marian.
He sent those two outlaws to
the Chamberlain beach house,
and then the three stooges
to my boat and the racetrack
to try to kill me and get back the film.
He wanted to protect Liza and her money.
Funny thing is, if he had
gotten a hold of that film,
he would've blackmailed her
for the rest of her life.
Greed is such an awful thing.
Between murder, blackmail,
and selling computer
secrets to our enemies,
I think Johnathon's gonna be
put away for a long, long time.
I do wish Luciana hadn't killed Shane,
it's such an inconvenience
good help is so very
hard to find, you know?
Except where you're concerned, Cody.
You're just a wonderful cowboy,
why, you'd help any woman
in distress, wouldn't you?
Would I help any woman in distress?
Yes ma'am, I would.
Oh, Cody abeline.
My abeline.
2 and headed for the
bright lights of L.A. j
he made a lotta ladies cry j
when he told them goodbye j
and headed out across
the lonestar state j
he still wears a beat up stetson j
and his blue jeans j
his cowboy boots and a big old 44 j
he drinks his whiskey straight j
the only thing he likes to chase j
d is bad guys and ladies of the night j
d so don't ever think the
cowboys are all gone j
j 'cause there's always one
around to prove you wrong j
they'll always be cowboys in the world j
you might be buyin' him drinks j
while he's stealin' your girl j
they'll always be cowboys in the world j
So ladies if you run across our hero j
be careful of his smooth-talkin' ways j
he's just lookin' for romance j
and if you want to take a chance j
j it might just be your lucky day 7
d so don't ever think the
cowboys are all gone j
j there's always one
around to prove you wrong j
j there'll always be
cowboys in the world j
you might be buyin' him drinks j
while he's stealin' your girl j
j there'll always be
cowboys in the world j
j there'll always be
cowboys in the world j