Malice in Wonderland (2009) Movie Script
(Angelica's Bring Back Her Head)
If you say you'll burn your car
If you'll burn that motorcar
And I know it is faux pas
And I know it is faux pas
If she means that much to you
If there's nothing you won't do
Yeah, you'll burn it
through and through
Yeah, you'll burn it
through and through
Bring her head back to me
Bring her head back to me
She's not all she's meant to be
She's not all she's meant to be
If you cut her she will bleed
If you cut her she will bleed
If she means that much to you
If there's nothing you won't do
Yeah, you'll burn it
through and through
Yeah, you'll burn it
through and through
- Bring her head back to me
Bring her head back to me...
Spare some change, miss?
- Do you know where Hulme Street is?
- Hulme?
H-U-L-M-E. My mom lives there.
Used to.
You'll get it back...
Later.
I used to know a woman
who lived on Hulme Street.
This way!
- Fuck!
- Idiots!
Late, I'm late! Gotta get me there.
No, no...
Oi! Move it!
Come on, get up.
Do you want a fucking Oscar?
Look at the time! Look at the bloody time!
Late in 2 places at once.
Listen... I ain't got time for this.
I wish I did, but I ain't. So...
Oi! I saw that! I saw that!
Booze. She's out of it.
She's one of 'em fucking binge-drinkers.
What is it you want?
Letsby Avenue? Yeah, up you get!
- Police, please.
- She'll sleep it off.
OK, in you go.
That's it. Go.
- That's it.
- A girl with a white coat...
Leave it, whitey, leave it. There's no time.
I'm late.
Whitey's rules, number 1:
"No dying."
Rule 2: "No puking."
Rule 3: "No nothing else."
No time for ER. I've got a pick-up to make
and nothing's gonna stand in my way.
Get ready for the land that time forgot.
This isn't right.
Yank?
Los-fucking-Angeles this is not.
Where are you taking me?
Home... eventually.
But the party first-- Harry's.
- What's your name?
- My name...?
I... I can't remember.
Had a bang on the head?
Yeah, that's amne... amn...
What is it? It's...
Anamnes...
You lost your fucking memory.
For your knees... For your nerves...
For your breath...
What's this one here?
Here y'are. Wallop.
- for your head.
- Now, listen to me.
Pop one of 'em down your rabbit hole,
it's gonna knock you out at first.
Afterwards, you're gonna be
as sharp as shit.
Trust me... I'm a doctor.
I do prescriptions.
People tell me
what they need... and I nick it.
Thank you.
I've gotta get me there... I'm late.
Harry Hunt...
Big boss.
Just got out of jail.
Big party.
Best present ever.
Pure and uncut...
Special import.
Gotta get me that Thai for Harry...
Thai...?
- Mr. Griffin...
- Look, I have to warn you.
Mr. Griffin...
What's in here may change
your life forever. Are you sure?
Yes.
- Sure?
- Yes.
- ...change your life forever...
- I called the private investigator.
...inside this will change...
There's Tweedledum and Tweedledee.
What's in here...?
Yes...
- Who are you?
- I know who I am...
Who are you?
Drugs... For your breath?!
- I don't know.
- Me neither.
- This is getting me nowhere.
- Depends where you wanna be.
My head.
What...?
Is that my bag?
You've got my bag!
That's my bag!
As soon as I woke up I said,
"Today was gonna be a bad day".
That's 7 words, 3 seconds to say them.
Already I'm late getting out of bed.
Time snowballs.
Second here, second there,
and now I've missed my delivery.
Oi!
Where's my goods?
This way!
Well, that's fucking specific.
Yeah!
I've totted the takings.
Come back!
And not one... tosspot
has reached target.
- Wait!
- Target's to hard, Gonzo?
Is it?
Where's the diddy man?
- All right, Gonzo.
- Here he is.
All right?
I had to shut down.
The track wasn't safe.
Not safe...
Not safe is good, right?
If the track cracks...
how far is the fall?
No, Gonzo, Gonzo! Err, no...
Wait, wait!
Hey!
That bag, and the money, he stole it!
- Give it back.
- There you go.
- What have I said about women?
- She followed me in.
Girls are trouble...
- women are double.
- Are double.
What are you? A runaway?
Suicide!
Not a... junkie?
- Gotta have a problem to work here, love.
- I've got flatulence!
- I've got a fat back.
- And I've got halitosis.
Saint Gonzo, that's me.
Employer of the flotsam and jetsam.
I have got a problem, actually.
I can't remember... Names, places.
I can think of a few places for you...
- My mind is a blank.
- You hear that, lads?
The lady's lost her memory.
You lot better look for it.
Step into my office.
- I'm not sure if I should.
- Then you're not sure if you shouldn't.
What do you say, you and I,
we have a little private party.
We were going to Harry's party.
Harry Hunt?
Rhymes with...
What's a... What's an old devil like him
to an angel like you?
- I should go find out.
- You're good.
You are very good.
I've seen pork more kosher.
You're here to sniff out
what I bought him, aren't ya?
What gift I've bought him to make me
his number one geezer.
You're a spy...
I don't have any idea
what you're talking about.
Yeah?
Who's your daddy?
Where are you from? Who are you with?
- Wh...
- Why?!
- Why...?
- Why, why, why?
- Because I'm asking, that's why.
- Whitey.
Whi...? Whitey?!
That dirty...
So... Where is he?
He's... picking up something for...
Picking up... something for Harry.
What?
I'm late. Gonna get me a Thai for Harry.
A tie?
Tie my arse.
Tie...
Tie is a green channel at customs.
He's got him something special.
I'd like to know what.
Now!
Mr. Big.
What Class A delights
have you robbed for us tonight?
- You're in no state to get lippy.
- Whitey, he's got your money.
I wouldn't have hurt you, you know that.
Adios.
- Hey, thanks.
- For what?
- For saving me.
- This ain't over, Whitey!
- Only bird worth saving is Her Majesty.
- You get him a tie, I get him a shirt.
- I've got a heart attack plan.
- You get him shoes, I get him a handbag!
I've got till 10 o'clock
to find the best present ever for Harry.
So, who is this stupid Harry, anyway?
He'd have your head saying that.
Harry's been inside.
Word is Harry's organised a big bank job.
Massive. Millions waiting to be robbed.
Everybody wants him.
That's why the fight to get him
the bestest coming-out present.
To buy his favour.
When Harry picks his team
for the big one...
he's making millionaires.
He don't do nothing by halves,
Harry, see.
He sorted out the clubs and their owners.
Then there was the diamond geezers.
I believe that got messy.
Then the spades tried muscling in.
Last one dead was the DJ.
Does like his music, does Harry...
George Michael, Pet Shop Boys,
Liberace...
He sounds... fascinating.
I've heard Harry called a lot of F words...
"Fascinating" is a new one.
Tonight is his coming out party.
Everyone who's anyone
will be showering him with gifts
Except me-
because mine's gone walkabout.
Well, he might not notice. I mean,
he'll be busy with his other presents.
He's got the all-seeing eye. He makes
Sauron look like Stevie Wonder.
That's why I've got to pull something
big out of the hat. Come on, just think!
I think...
I think I might hurl.
Medication on an empty stomach.
Not good.
Always read the label.
"The Imperial."
Stuffed with chicken, shish,
doner, some other dead thing-
only 9,000 points on Weight Watchers.
Never tasted anything like it.
Half a goat in there, easy.
Now...
Order of the day. What do I get a man
who can rob everything?
Well, what's he into?
Banks, security vehicles, blokes...
Does he like art?
'Round here art is getting
the spelling right on your tattoo.
- What about a cake?
- Who buys a mob boss a cake?
- Someone who cares.
- That's what I thought. Nice one, Britney.
That's not my name.
You don't know who you are.
So you don't know who you're not.
- There's got to be something in here...
- Hey, that's personal.
Only to you, and we don't know you,
so... it's not.
- Is it not?
- OK...
OK...
Proper nip-tucked.
Lippy...
"Vegetarian's Guide to London."
Radio thingy...
- Is this where you're staying?
- Could be.
- Well, I know one thing.
- What?
You're loaded.
Let's call them.
Let's find out if I'm checked in.
- "All right, love? Any guests missing?"
- "I'm sorry, sir, I couldn't possibly..."
- Come on, 500 rooms...
- What else?
- Dodgson Industries, New York.
- OK, we have to call that one.
- Call it off. The States is a 5er a word.
- Come on.
My whole life could be
at the end of the line.
Please.
I'm taking hits in the clock,
I'm taking hits in the pocket.
- You know? I'm taking punches all over.
- Thanks.
It's ringing.
Answering machine. What do I say?
If you're missing a girl,
call this number:
I think I'm gonna be sick again.
Well...
It can't be something you ate.
Now, listen...
I know a place where I can get the cake.
We do the party, I drive you to London,
to your 5-star hotel.
I promise.
That's really kind of you, but...
I just feel like that would take forever.
You know, maybe longer, and...
I just have to find another way.
I know I was supposed to do something...
important, and...
I don't know what it is.
Well, babe,
I want shot of you ASAP PFQ...
If there was another way,
then I'm sure I would have...
- I've just thought of one.
- Yeah?
Jesus Christ!
- Here's a 20 to get you to London.
- Thanks.
- When's the next bus?
- To be honest, darling, I ain't got a clue.
What?
Just having one last butcher's
in case I have to bang one out later.
Now, I'm being a gentleman,
not taking advantage, OK?
I bet I'll regret this.
It's freezing...
Oi!
Quiet night?
- So-so.
- Liar...
I've got just what you're looking for,
right here, at Duchy Mansion.
- Don't you fucking touch it.
- Nice "tie"...
Silky, smooth...
- Leave it.
- Business first.
This little gift you've imported for Harry
is easily the best!
He will be pleased!
That's why I want a share. Deal?
No share. No deal. No way.
Not even halfway.
Get him a cake.
Who makes a mob boss a cake?
- Someone who cares.
- Someone who cares...
Yes...
We'll give him the "tie" and the cake.
I say we but it could just as easily be "I".
You know you can't deliver.
You never leave the house.
You know you can't deliver.
You haven't got the guts!
Deal?
Deal.
I look like death.
I feel like death.
What makes me feel good?
Music.
You're listening to KHUFU...
I'm Felix Chester
with the Memory Mix on 99.9--
Where does it hurt you, baby?
In my guts and in my brain.
I hear ya.
You hear me?
Now, hear this...
I'm listening.
(Betty Steeles' Where Are You?)
Broken frames
So dark inside
faces mismatched
Trickle up in a line
Waves of shadows
Scattered dreams
Where are you?
Where are you?
Trying to find
What do I see...
Pictures that rhyme
- Colours that breathe...
- Gotta get out of here.
I need to
Discover more
find where I've been
Let images pour...
How many do I take of these?
Doesn't say.
Pictures that rhyme,
colours that breathe...
Police...
Trying to find
What do I see?
Pictures that rhyme
Colours that breathe...
Sorry... I'm sorry.
Dad...
Sorry, dear,
I've had to cut the trip short.
Board meeting in New York...
Board meeting... Board...
Dad...
Dad... I think we both know
why we're leaving early.
I think we both know
why we're leaving early.
Dad...
Dad, I'm sorry... I'm sorry.
After her.
More on tonight's kidnap story.
Police have launched a nationwide
search for Alice Dodgson, 19,
who was brutally snatched
in London street this evening.
Billionaire Lewis Dodgson has posted
a 10-million-dollar reward
for the return of his daughter.
Eye witness reports say
she was bundled into a black cab.
Billionaire's daughter.
Today will be a little bit
better than yesterday.
Police.
999.
- Emergency?
- Yes.
I would like to report that I'm...
sick and my head is spinning
and I got sick and I'm very lost.
Where are you?
Yes, I'm in a phone booth at a bus stop.
- Your name?
- My name... Sorry, I don't know.
- Have you taken drugs?
- Have I taken some drugs? Yes.
Great.
Cheerio. Ta-ta. Wheaties.
Stupid country.
What you looking for?
A pick-me-up?
Fine, 3, 5 and 2, 6 and 1.
Lucky eyes here now
before delivery is done.
- What? Mister...?
- Drop the Mister.
See this eye.
I'm no pillar, I'm a cat.
Postman chiller is where I'm at.
I think it's the police.
- What are you doing?!
- Saving your arse from the SPG.
Them mothers'll lock you down
and throw away the key.
- I haven't done anything.
- Tell it to the judge to sentence his life
and he don't budge.
My hooker she's a looker.
Hit me scratch and I even let you.
- Pleased to met you.
- Policeman here is not to be trusted.
Step out of line and pow!
You is busted!
I can't spend it.
one on a boat, another mil on motors.
A box of the mighty Hammers!
I can't spend it. I can't spend it.
- Where to, babe?
- London.
A cabbie said he'd take me
but then he disappeared.
He didn't seem honest,
and... he isn't as I feared.
Infected with the rhyme,
check out now down town.
Next drop Lloyd Street, number 31.
It seems a little late to deliver the post.
Au contraire,
now is when folks need it most.
Baby, you got email.
- You sell drugs?
- Ain't a lie.
Ain't a pill on the planet
I don't know and you can buy.
Well, these don't seem to be working.
And I need to get my memory back
from where it is lurking.
"For your head"?
Beats! That's a heavy pop!
You better see a doc
before you open up the top.
But I've already taken 1
or have I taken 2?
I can't remember old stuff
and now I can't remember new.
Think yourself smart.
I wish it was me.
Take for your head
and be who you wanna be.
How can I be who I wanna be
when I am who I am?
When memories come back, some
you keep and some you trash in a can.
You can deal the cards,
just rearrange the deal.
We pick you up 1,
we drop you down 2.
If I get to the party, my driver's inside.
No access to the party
without an invitation.
- Where can I get one?
- I know just da location.
Fuck!
Cool.
- Thanks for the ride.
- Bump the duchess when you meet her.
Ciao from the hydroponic
Bonnie and Clyde.
Hello?
Hi!
Hello. I'm looking for the duchess.
Eggs, rum, sugar,
milk, cherry, rum...
I ordered oxtail, not mulligatawny!
Too spicy!
Well, what are you doing at my desk?
I'm trying to get to the party.
Yes! I've been invited but I shan't go.
Why not?
I like my head where it is...
on my shoulders.
Now, the invitation is yours,
in exchange for one thing.
Knowledge.
- Of what?
- Of you.
But... Look, I don't know
anything about me.
You make my gossip nose twitch
like freshly-peppered soup.
- Is it you who has cameras everywhere?
- Eyes, darling, eyes!
So, why would an inconsequence like you
want to go to some awful do?
Whitey will be there.
I need him.
He owes me a ride home.
And what's so good about home?
Home...?
- I can't think...
- Then don't!
Slither into your subconscious,
your subterranean brain.
What comes into your mind?
Horses.
What about your family?
Siblings?
Boyfriend?
My head is spinning. I forget.
I was going to meet my mom.
And then I get hit by a taxi and now...
TBI- traumatic brain injury.
Caused by falls, blows to the head
and, most commonly, road accidents.
Tough... To your right.
Excellent!
It's as plain as the face on your nose!
Complete cognitive crash-
in the temporal lobe, your medial
thalamus and the orbital frontal lobe.
- Is that bad?
- There are signs of improvement.
- You're taking pills?
- For my head.
Good.
What is all that?
These are the things that you know.
None of them make any sense.
The mind is a maze of memories
and knowledge.
But how will I ever unjumble it all?
You can't unravel the complex,
until you've mastered the most simple.
Starting with...
- Who am I?
- Top drawer on the right.
Yes... Follow the red lights.
Red means "go".
Goodbye.
Thank you.
Paint the town red.
Have you seen a girl, 20, blond hair, fit?
Red means go.
Hey, hey, come back.
I know you!
Bob's your uncle.
Painting the town red. Red, red.
follow me. Painting the town red.
Please come back!
Alice!
Come back.
- You ain't ready to leave.
- Who's there?
DJ Felix on KHFM,
saying stay tuned for essential platters,
minimum chatter,
and circular sound sensations.
Circles... Circles...
We all move in circles.
This doesn't feel like a circle.
We think we're going in a straight line,
but what goes around... comes around.
Is that a riddle?
What has no conditions
but one condition?
That's a riddle.
Is that...
Is that MY riddle?
It's my riddle. It's your answer.
Find it, and find yourself.
Hey!
Stop!
Table 8.
Miss!
Milk!
Crumpets! Crumpets! Crumpets!
Yummy, yummy.
- Why didn't you stop?
- Bulb needed changing.
Painting the town red.
Wait, weren't you the one who...
Wasn't me.
Maybe you came across me brother.
You is well buff!
You looking for business?
- I'm looking for Hearts nightclub.
- You're miles away!
I was hoping to... get a ride.
Fuck a duck!
I'll give you the ride of your life.
Ladies call me...
un-fucking-forgettable.
And that ain't for my looks-
even though they is impressive.
Wait 'ere, yeah?
Un-f-forgivable.
I need to remember more.
- Milk!
- Tea!
Sugar!
- Tart!
- Crumpet!
Sticky tart!
for your head?
Be who you wanna be...
Your father flies to London
next week... Your father...
- Mom!
- You should go with him.
- You should go with him.
- ...tea with the Queen.
Some you keep and some you trash...
- I only have your interest in life.
- I wanted you to meet Wolfgang.
Mom, for the 100th time,
I can find my own dates.
I knew a woman who lived
on Hulme Street.
When you get home,
you'll have your head straightened out.
I can find my own dates.
I'm not a commodity.
- You're a Dodgson. And act accordingly.
- H-U-L-M-E, my mom's still there.
Wakey-wakey!
Class!
What did you do to my hair?
It's disgusting!
Disgusting is what we're liking in here.
A bit of French is handy.
And you get double if you do Greek.
Disgusting is why you're up for the job!
- My little strawberry tart.
- There must be some misunderstanding.
- I'm just passing through.
- Only when you've paid your dues.
Top hair-do like that, it's not cheap.
- Roger and out. All change.
- Roger that. Over and out.
You know what you need inside ya-
before you get anything else inside ya?
- A nice cuppa tea.
- I don't drink tea.
What?!
No tea!
Where did they drag you from? Mars?
- No...
- Next trucker, please...
Finnburtons Hotel, London.
Permanent residence: Hamptons,
Long Island, New York, United States...
Yes! Calm down, I know where that is.
Listen, I... I just need to get to Harry's.
Harry? Harry Hunt?
There's a charmer!
- Harry Hunt!
- You know what his favourite colour is?
- Red.
- Yeah, blood red.
- A proper psycho is Harry.
- Come on, mate. He's sound.
Apart from being a complete psycho!
- I'm sorry. I don't have time for this.
- You're right.
Time is money. And your time is my time.
So get out and earning.
What...?
What kind of place is this?
- Tyre park.
- A greasy spoon-ani.
My mobile a-brothel.
Yeah, and I'm first up.
- Dibs.
- I got dibs.
- Earl Grey to Hattie, next.
- 10-4 headed to Earl Grey, roger and out.
- All change!
- Nice...
Get off me!
Listen, I need to get to Hearts.
- Can anyone give me a ride?
- Me, me, me!
Read the sign.
There's only one madam here, Madam.
Break her in. Don't be gentle.
- What?
- Come on!
- What are you doing?!
- She's gorgeous! Love her!
Get your hands off me!
Let go of me! Hands off!
- Seen more meat on a budgie's cock
- In!
Nice...
In the nuddy. Now.
Where are ya? Where are ya?
- What are you doing?
- Taking my clothes off.
Nice...
Distressed call from an American
girl has been positively identified
- as kidnapped heiress Alice Dodgson.
- Arse.
The search has been described
- as the force's top priority...
- Double-arse.
Scotland Yard has released a tape
thought to be the voice of her kidnapper.
If you're missing a girl
call this number: 0044 7788...
He's resting. Blew his mind.
- Fuck.
- 3 minutes. That's the rule.
OK...
What's going on?
Jesus Christ!
OK, nice and easy...
Live animals in the back.
- Holy shit!
- Nice!
Nice!
- Open the fucking door!
- Get the hell down!
Slow down!
Get down!
Stupid! Let me back in.
Whitey?
Whitey!
- Jump!
- Don't jump!
Open the windows!
Open the door!
Steady. Steady.
Don't do it!
Jump!
Nice!
We did it!
My God! We did it!
What have you done to your hair?
- What?
- What have you done to your hair?
I nearly die
and you ask me about my hair?
If I hadn't mentioned it,
you'd have sulked.
- You people are insane!
- It's in the breeding.
What are you doing here anyway?
You dumped me at a coach stop,
remember?
Exactly right. And I went back
to find you and you'd gone
and I couldn't give you all alone
and helpless. I had to find you.
- Really?
- I got no time to tell lies.
It's not in my nature.
You're VIP.
You're a Very Important Passenger.
I'm important?
I've been speeding my tits off to find you,
my beautiful Alice.
If you're happy and you know it
clap your hands!
Alice.
Alice?
- My name is Alice.
- Yeah, well, don't go shouting about it.
- Do you think they're following us?
- Not yet.
Lock the door.
- What happens if they do find us?
- Let me get my head straight.
- I feel bad about the ladies in the truck.
- What's a few tarts between friends?
When word gets out about you, the whole
world and his wife will be outside.
- Can we just call the police?
- Great idea, yeah. 15-20 for kidnapping.
We can tell them a story.
We can say that you rescued me.
- My Whitey-knight.
- A witness fingered me.
Now I want you to give me one minute.
Just one minute.
That's 60 seconds, yeah?
Alice.
Alice.
Alice.
I don't know why I thought
I had a more unusual name.
- Like Tabitha, or Electra...
- I said 60, not 6.
- You're a slave to time.
- I'm a slave to nothing.
You wear 2 watches.
They're your shackles.
Speak for yourself.
He's willing to pay 10 million for me.
- He does love me.
- It's not about love. This is business.
- You don't know my father.
- And you do?
I gotta get us out. They'll be cruising
every road waiting for us.
You do stand out in your London cab.
You're not as mental as you act.
Couple of easy steals down there,
I'm gonna go check 'em out.
If these are shackles,
we're shackled together, you and me.
Me and you.
I'll be 5 minutes, 10 minutes tops,
you can time me.
Then I'm taking you back.
- Because of the reward money?
- Because that's what I promised.
I'm locking you in.
Bingo!
How grateful we are to the British Police
for their unstinting efforts
in trying to trace our daughter
and bring her kidnappers to justice.
I'm afraid I cannot comment...
for obvious reasons.
What do I remember?
Dodgson Industries is putting up
a 10-million-dollar reward
for a any information leading
to the safe return of our daughter.
10-million-dollar reward.
Please, you must understand
that this is a very distressing time
for Mrs. Dodgson and me.
And a difficult time
for Dodgson industries.
Remember... Remember...
Your father flies to London.
I've hired a private investigator.
- That's good.
- You don't know who you are.
Dad, something came up...
Dad...
Remember when you and mom
lived here in London?
Do you remember when I was born?
I really do need to study these...
Dad, something came up.
I think she may have found out.
I do have to study these.
I knew a woman
who lived on Hulme Street.
You don't know you who are,
so you don't know who you're not.
If you're missing a girl call this number.
Yes...
I'll have her with you
in 10 minutes, Harry.
No...
No, my pleasure.
Anything for you, Harry. You know that.
Yeah. I would... He's gone.
Once me and Harry split that 10 mil...
Or more.
I mean, what limit to a father's love
for his coochie-coochie girl?
Nice of you to join us.
- Where's Whitey?
- Whitey?
He's out.
With the fairies.
Where are you taking me?
- The police are looking for me.
- Yeah.
And if you step out of line,
they might find a piece.
What should it be, do you think, Alice?
An ear? A little pinkie?
You don't play piano, do ya?
Gonzo.
You won't see any money.
- Just wait until Whitey catches up.
- Whitey...?
Please...
He wouldn't risk
a hair on his arse for ya.
The money, maybe.
But not you.
More on tonight's story. Police have
issued this picture of the kidnapper.
See, at the end of the day, Alice,
us chaps, we're all the same.
Only in it for what we can get out.
He's different.
You have been starved of affection,
haven't you?
Daddy not shown you enough love?
Don't worry... We'll make him pay.
Get the cake. Get it on the roof rack now.
And where's my girl?
Come on, mate, let us in.
You've got to let us in.
- I'm on the guest list.
- No jeans.
- No acne.
- No trainers.
- I'm his cousin...
- No goatee.
- No pierced noses.
- Eyebrows.
- Bellybuttons.
- Bell ends.
- We're connecting through RSPCA.
- No twats in combats.
- I need the loo.
- Has my friend gone inside?
Nobody with a name that can be
shortened to an-az contraction.
- Like Gaz.
- Or Daz.
All right, lads. I'm a film director.
I can really see you in my next movie.
- No?
- No poofs.
- Shirt-lifters.
- Rump-rangers.
- Chutney-ferrets.
- Arse-bandits.
- Sausage-jockeys.
- Fudge-packers.
- Uphill gardeners.
- Bowlers from the pavilion end.
- No entry. No way.
- Let us in.
- No chance.
- Gentlemen.
Come on.
After you!
Get lost! No way!
Fuck off!
Rex, we've done what you said.
None of them what's liking
their feet is getting in.
Slight misinterpretation of policy.
Nobody's fault, but you can let
the alternative crowd in now.
The seaman-sappers?
Harry's orders.
- That's a queer decision if you ask me.
- Right!
All you fairies...
Hello, Harry.
Looks like "Sale of the Century" in here.
Nice presents.
- No peeking.
- Wouldn't dream.
Thank you.
I've got some lovely new gifts.
Smart motor, from Jimmy 3 Chins.
Very nice new gaff from Muhammad Eight
and his Seven Brothers.
And a rather precautious
little filly from One Ball Barry.
This...
This little beauty...
takes the biscuit.
This is the one. The one who's missing.
Alice.
You must let me know
who does your nails.
For God's sake.
Come sit with me.
I wouldn't pay 10 dollars for it!
Shame those boys at the door
had to share the one brain.
It's filling up nicely.
Very colourful crowd.
Thank you.
- Rex, Alice.
- What, no nickname?
Formally, Rex the Executioner.
It's Murder now he's retired.
Rex killed them with kindness.
Always the gent.
Any other line of work,
he'd have been knighted.
So?
Shall we go over my deal?
I think you'll find
it's my deal, gentlemen.
Play your cards right,
you'll soon be with daddy.
No jokers, no wilds.
This is a 3-card trick.
I call the old man and up the ante.
Money goes in my offshore account
and I pay out all the players.
- Like we said, yeah?
- That's right.
And 3...
Alice goes home.
- Questions?
- And if he can't come up with the money?
Rex comes out of retirement.
And what if I don't want to go home.
Then this will be your leaving party!
Leaving this mortal coil.
Well, if it is to be my last night,
I would want it to be
better than any other.
- I don't get out very often.
- Me neither.
Once every 10 years.
Then, if it's all the same to you,
I'll get a drink downstairs.
On the house, my dear.
Harry... Harry, this...
- This deal...
- The 70130, yes.
Well, we'll hammer out the details
of the 80120 later, shall we?
But...
What do I like...
Hi, could I get a white wine, please?
A Chablis?
It's not your birthday, is it?
- Mine is July 19th.
- And me!
Where's Gonzo?
A big cake for the big man.
I am partial to a slice of cherry genoa.
This one's got a different kind of cherry.
She said you were getting him a tie.
But a cake...?
That's even worse.
What a fucking Spongebob!
I'm sorry about the delay, Harry.
It took me a while to locate
your favourite filling.
- Your Thai.
- Thai?
Very good.
But you do know
I'm a bachelor of the arse now?
- She's got a sausage.
- And taters.
Sweetheart.
You're not keeping it, are you?
You don't know where it's been.
When I want your opinion, Jack,
I'll give it to you.
It's not Jack. It's Jacqui.
Or Jacqueline for posh.
Very nice, my cab-driving friend.
But the damage has been done.
Lessons need to be learned.
What is it we have to do
to all get along?
Share. And share alike.
What's your is mine.
- Where is this going?
- For you?
The cemetery. A service at St Mary's,
"All things bright and beautiful".
Same old Gonzo, same old liability.
Yeah. When it pops you,
try not to bleed on my suit,
it's labelled.
Gonzo didn't tell ya?
- Tell me what?
- Old father William knows she is in town.
- Old Bill knows Alice is here?
- Don't listen to him, Harry.
My priority was to secure the girl
outside your turf.
Keep you clean.
Then get you to cut the deal.
Why should I believe you?
any fool could see that.
Only you can pull off a big one, Harry.
That's why I'm here.
You brought her to my gaff,
knowing I'd be fingered?
Harry... He's lying.
If there's a Billy in this room, it's you.
Well, I'll take her away.
I didn't know the goods was hot.
Gonzo.
That really is a nice suit.
Bad day?
My dance partner has got a rash
from a cheap bikini wax
leaving me high and dry for tonight.
My lottery numbers came up
on the one day I didn't get my ticket,
and even of I did cheat with a ruler,
my John Thomas is...
well under the national average.
I can't tango solo.
I don't suppose you... dance?
I don't remember.
- It's not something you'd forget.
- It's a long story.
I've got all night.
Well, you know, actually, I don't.
But I will say, if I'm gonna die,
I'm gonna die knowing who I am
and who I wanted to be.
Hear, hear.
Your father flies to London.
I can find my own dates.
You're a Dodgson...
We only have your own interests at heart.
Dad, something came up.
Do you remember when I was born?
H...
This is a distressing time
for Mrs. Dodgson...
U...
Remember when you and mom
lived here in London?
- L...
- Private investigator.
- M...
- What's in here
may change your life forever.
E.
This Alice...
- She's trouble.
- I can sort it for you.
And I was having such a nice time!
- Let me get rid of her.
- That's a great idea. No questions.
I want her disappeared. Professional.
- That's not what I meant.
- It's what I mean that matters!
She's valuable.
Whitey, you just don't
understand, do you?
Kidnapping-- it's not right.
We should stick to what we know,
and I know about robbing banks.
Here, how's this?
I get the reward, put it in a bank...
you rob the bank.
Don't you get clever. You haven't got
the brains to mess with me.
Or the money.
I'll tell you about money!
I paid well for protection. Where is it?
Hattie, sweetheart, tone, please.
Come here.
Tell me what happened.
She nicked my girls.
Pinched me prossies.
Stole me tarts.
I want justice.
THIEF!
I'll take care of her, Harry.
I'll do all right, you'll see.
Tart larceny is a serious offence.
I need to set an example.
Rex! Trial.
- A trial!
- What's going on?
- What trial?
- Whitey, council for the accused.
Rex, prosecution,
everyone else, the jury.
Alice, dear. Best of British luck.
- Am I gonna need it?
- The defence is not allowed to speak.
- So, technically, yes.
- Charges?
Theft of truck containing 6 prostitutes
and non-payment of hairdressing fees.
- How do you plead?
- I plead diminished responsibility.
Diminished what?
Responsibility, yeah.
She was wrong in the head.
- Objection! Defence has spoken.
- She's off her head!
Completely. Damaged the medial
temporal lobe- caused by his cab.
I'm suing for damages.
He should be behind bars.
- What?
- Defence spoke again!
Contempt of court!
Throw him out.
- Wait, please!
- Do her!
- Surely he can...
- Do her!
Look, I'm sorry about your ladies,
but my head was in pieces.
Insanity is not a plea.
It's a way of life.
Everyone around here is a card short.
Sentence is passed! Rex!
Can I call a witness?
I'm not sure that you can.
Then you're not so sure I can't.
Defendant calls to the stand...
- Lady's lost her memory.
- Traumatic brain...
Circles, we all run...
Defendant cal is Felix Chester.
Permission to speak privately...
with my girl.
- Felix...
- Granted.
This is all about time.
Except I haven't any left
for one of your riddles.
If you had been a few seconds early...
that cab wouldn't have hit you.
I can give back the time you lost,
the part that made a difference.
- Such as...?
- You were running, you were free.
You heard a voice.
The bag lady.
You stopped to give her money,
but time ticked on.
Just 15 seconds.
I can give you them back.
Trust me.
I'm a DJ.
- Time's up.
- Just say when.
Accused may address the court
before sentence is carried out.
You think you're so tough.
King of the underworld.
But really,
you're nothing but an old queen!
When!
Run. 2...
Whitey!
After her! Rex!
No!
No...
Don't die. I won't let you die!
- All out of time.
- No, I won't let you die. I won't.
Run.
Told you you'd get it back.
- What?
- The time.
Use the 15 seconds.
I can give you them back.
- See you again!
- Run.
Wait!
Oi, bird, move!
I don't believe this.
Look at the time.
I'm late on the left, I'm late...
Where's me watch?!
How did you do that?
Shut up and listen.
Your name is Whitey,
you're on your way to pick up
a Thai ladyboy as a gift for Harry Hunt.
You'll miss delivery and wind up dead.
I know, I was there. My name is Alice.
- Look, my dad's a billionaire.
- Is this an English version of "Punk'd"?
He controls my life and now he wants
to marry me off to this German schmuck.
So I have to break away now.
Or I might never get the chance again.
Just slow down, babe.
Just slow down.
He will post a 10 million-dollar
reward for my return.
We can find a way to get the money
and get away.
"We"?
You choose.
or dead at the seaside later.
Tick-tock, tick-tock.
- Dead...?
- Toes up.
or 10 million dollars?
Roughly 5 million
of your cute British pounds.
Get in.
If this is a stitch up,
you better have a good plastic surgeon.
I think there's a bottle
of "For your Nerves" in your bag.
Maybe you should take some
and calm down.
What...
What the fuck are you?
I'm the girl who saved your life.
Now let's go and sort out mine.
I'm looking for a woman
who lived here about 20 years ago.
My mother.
So...
My mother just sold me?
I remember her having the baby...
You.
She never knew the father.
They came at night in a fancy car,
the Americans.
The woman couldn't have children.
Told people in America she was pregnant.
And then bought you.
- Why me?
- You were white, you were easy...
no red tape, no questions, no records-
cash deal.
- That happens in England?
- Happens all over, darling.
Buyers' market.
She did the best for you.
Do you know where she went after that?
She went off the rails.
Drowned the guilt in booze.
Tried to kill herself.
Don't blame her.
It looks as if you've turned out all right.
Have you ever seen her since?
You know what? I see her every day.
Alice Dodgson, daughter of
American millionaire Lewis Dodgson
is reported to have been abducted.
Police are giving a few details of
the circumstances of her disappearance,
and, as yet,
no ransom demand has been received.
We're here.
You sure you're OK?
Never felt better.
Can you just wait here?
The meter's running.
How much would
Said I'd see you again.
You know who I am?
No.
I know some things. Not all things.
And that's a shame.
Are you any good with riddles?
Try me.
What's got no conditions
but one condition?
That takes me back.
To where?
I was about your age.
She was the sweetest thing...
though I wasn't.
I loved her,
but sometimes that's not enough.
Sometimes it's everything.
What's got no conditions
but one condition?
- Love.
- Ain't it just!
What's your name?
My name is Alice.
My girl was called Alice.
How would you feel
about a big hotel room
with a king-size bed and a long hot bath
and room service?
Nah...
I got all I need here.
Circles... Circles...
We all move in circles.
(Betty Steeles' Where Are You?)
Broken frames
So dark inside
faces mismatched
Trickle up in a line
Waves of shadows
Scattered dreams
Where are you?
Where are you?
Trying to find
What do I see?
Pictures that rhyme
Colours that breathe
I need to
Discover more
find where I'll be
Let images pour
Trying to find
What do I see?
Pictures that rhyme
Colours that breathe
Trying to find
What do I see?
Where are you?
Pictures that rhyme
Colours that breathe
(Fast Country: Bobbi Chitin's
The Titty Song)
Yes, I know, girl
Big titties, small titties
Little itty bitty titties
Round titties, flat titties
Crawfish titties, girl
I don't mind what cup you got
So long as that cup's gone
when daddy gets on top
Big titties, little titties
Little fluffy bush titties
Round titties, flat titties
Big down daddy titties
I don't mind what size there is
But when daddy on top
Make sure you make you go
That's how you do it, girl
Big and small
finger-lickin' with the taste
Pink ones, brown ones
Sugar-picking pie ones
Clean ones, dirty ones
Swamp shit muddy ones
I don't mind
so long as you make daddy go
Heebada... Hum-shebada
Sum-blablabla...risque!
I don't mind which way you look
But when daddy unbuckles
Make sure you make me go...
If you say you'll burn your car
If you'll burn that motorcar
And I know it is faux pas
And I know it is faux pas
If she means that much to you
If there's nothing you won't do
Yeah, you'll burn it
through and through
Yeah, you'll burn it
through and through
Bring her head back to me
Bring her head back to me
She's not all she's meant to be
She's not all she's meant to be
If you cut her she will bleed
If you cut her she will bleed
If she means that much to you
If there's nothing you won't do
Yeah, you'll burn it
through and through
Yeah, you'll burn it
through and through
- Bring her head back to me
Bring her head back to me...
Spare some change, miss?
- Do you know where Hulme Street is?
- Hulme?
H-U-L-M-E. My mom lives there.
Used to.
You'll get it back...
Later.
I used to know a woman
who lived on Hulme Street.
This way!
- Fuck!
- Idiots!
Late, I'm late! Gotta get me there.
No, no...
Oi! Move it!
Come on, get up.
Do you want a fucking Oscar?
Look at the time! Look at the bloody time!
Late in 2 places at once.
Listen... I ain't got time for this.
I wish I did, but I ain't. So...
Oi! I saw that! I saw that!
Booze. She's out of it.
She's one of 'em fucking binge-drinkers.
What is it you want?
Letsby Avenue? Yeah, up you get!
- Police, please.
- She'll sleep it off.
OK, in you go.
That's it. Go.
- That's it.
- A girl with a white coat...
Leave it, whitey, leave it. There's no time.
I'm late.
Whitey's rules, number 1:
"No dying."
Rule 2: "No puking."
Rule 3: "No nothing else."
No time for ER. I've got a pick-up to make
and nothing's gonna stand in my way.
Get ready for the land that time forgot.
This isn't right.
Yank?
Los-fucking-Angeles this is not.
Where are you taking me?
Home... eventually.
But the party first-- Harry's.
- What's your name?
- My name...?
I... I can't remember.
Had a bang on the head?
Yeah, that's amne... amn...
What is it? It's...
Anamnes...
You lost your fucking memory.
For your knees... For your nerves...
For your breath...
What's this one here?
Here y'are. Wallop.
- for your head.
- Now, listen to me.
Pop one of 'em down your rabbit hole,
it's gonna knock you out at first.
Afterwards, you're gonna be
as sharp as shit.
Trust me... I'm a doctor.
I do prescriptions.
People tell me
what they need... and I nick it.
Thank you.
I've gotta get me there... I'm late.
Harry Hunt...
Big boss.
Just got out of jail.
Big party.
Best present ever.
Pure and uncut...
Special import.
Gotta get me that Thai for Harry...
Thai...?
- Mr. Griffin...
- Look, I have to warn you.
Mr. Griffin...
What's in here may change
your life forever. Are you sure?
Yes.
- Sure?
- Yes.
- ...change your life forever...
- I called the private investigator.
...inside this will change...
There's Tweedledum and Tweedledee.
What's in here...?
Yes...
- Who are you?
- I know who I am...
Who are you?
Drugs... For your breath?!
- I don't know.
- Me neither.
- This is getting me nowhere.
- Depends where you wanna be.
My head.
What...?
Is that my bag?
You've got my bag!
That's my bag!
As soon as I woke up I said,
"Today was gonna be a bad day".
That's 7 words, 3 seconds to say them.
Already I'm late getting out of bed.
Time snowballs.
Second here, second there,
and now I've missed my delivery.
Oi!
Where's my goods?
This way!
Well, that's fucking specific.
Yeah!
I've totted the takings.
Come back!
And not one... tosspot
has reached target.
- Wait!
- Target's to hard, Gonzo?
Is it?
Where's the diddy man?
- All right, Gonzo.
- Here he is.
All right?
I had to shut down.
The track wasn't safe.
Not safe...
Not safe is good, right?
If the track cracks...
how far is the fall?
No, Gonzo, Gonzo! Err, no...
Wait, wait!
Hey!
That bag, and the money, he stole it!
- Give it back.
- There you go.
- What have I said about women?
- She followed me in.
Girls are trouble...
- women are double.
- Are double.
What are you? A runaway?
Suicide!
Not a... junkie?
- Gotta have a problem to work here, love.
- I've got flatulence!
- I've got a fat back.
- And I've got halitosis.
Saint Gonzo, that's me.
Employer of the flotsam and jetsam.
I have got a problem, actually.
I can't remember... Names, places.
I can think of a few places for you...
- My mind is a blank.
- You hear that, lads?
The lady's lost her memory.
You lot better look for it.
Step into my office.
- I'm not sure if I should.
- Then you're not sure if you shouldn't.
What do you say, you and I,
we have a little private party.
We were going to Harry's party.
Harry Hunt?
Rhymes with...
What's a... What's an old devil like him
to an angel like you?
- I should go find out.
- You're good.
You are very good.
I've seen pork more kosher.
You're here to sniff out
what I bought him, aren't ya?
What gift I've bought him to make me
his number one geezer.
You're a spy...
I don't have any idea
what you're talking about.
Yeah?
Who's your daddy?
Where are you from? Who are you with?
- Wh...
- Why?!
- Why...?
- Why, why, why?
- Because I'm asking, that's why.
- Whitey.
Whi...? Whitey?!
That dirty...
So... Where is he?
He's... picking up something for...
Picking up... something for Harry.
What?
I'm late. Gonna get me a Thai for Harry.
A tie?
Tie my arse.
Tie...
Tie is a green channel at customs.
He's got him something special.
I'd like to know what.
Now!
Mr. Big.
What Class A delights
have you robbed for us tonight?
- You're in no state to get lippy.
- Whitey, he's got your money.
I wouldn't have hurt you, you know that.
Adios.
- Hey, thanks.
- For what?
- For saving me.
- This ain't over, Whitey!
- Only bird worth saving is Her Majesty.
- You get him a tie, I get him a shirt.
- I've got a heart attack plan.
- You get him shoes, I get him a handbag!
I've got till 10 o'clock
to find the best present ever for Harry.
So, who is this stupid Harry, anyway?
He'd have your head saying that.
Harry's been inside.
Word is Harry's organised a big bank job.
Massive. Millions waiting to be robbed.
Everybody wants him.
That's why the fight to get him
the bestest coming-out present.
To buy his favour.
When Harry picks his team
for the big one...
he's making millionaires.
He don't do nothing by halves,
Harry, see.
He sorted out the clubs and their owners.
Then there was the diamond geezers.
I believe that got messy.
Then the spades tried muscling in.
Last one dead was the DJ.
Does like his music, does Harry...
George Michael, Pet Shop Boys,
Liberace...
He sounds... fascinating.
I've heard Harry called a lot of F words...
"Fascinating" is a new one.
Tonight is his coming out party.
Everyone who's anyone
will be showering him with gifts
Except me-
because mine's gone walkabout.
Well, he might not notice. I mean,
he'll be busy with his other presents.
He's got the all-seeing eye. He makes
Sauron look like Stevie Wonder.
That's why I've got to pull something
big out of the hat. Come on, just think!
I think...
I think I might hurl.
Medication on an empty stomach.
Not good.
Always read the label.
"The Imperial."
Stuffed with chicken, shish,
doner, some other dead thing-
only 9,000 points on Weight Watchers.
Never tasted anything like it.
Half a goat in there, easy.
Now...
Order of the day. What do I get a man
who can rob everything?
Well, what's he into?
Banks, security vehicles, blokes...
Does he like art?
'Round here art is getting
the spelling right on your tattoo.
- What about a cake?
- Who buys a mob boss a cake?
- Someone who cares.
- That's what I thought. Nice one, Britney.
That's not my name.
You don't know who you are.
So you don't know who you're not.
- There's got to be something in here...
- Hey, that's personal.
Only to you, and we don't know you,
so... it's not.
- Is it not?
- OK...
OK...
Proper nip-tucked.
Lippy...
"Vegetarian's Guide to London."
Radio thingy...
- Is this where you're staying?
- Could be.
- Well, I know one thing.
- What?
You're loaded.
Let's call them.
Let's find out if I'm checked in.
- "All right, love? Any guests missing?"
- "I'm sorry, sir, I couldn't possibly..."
- Come on, 500 rooms...
- What else?
- Dodgson Industries, New York.
- OK, we have to call that one.
- Call it off. The States is a 5er a word.
- Come on.
My whole life could be
at the end of the line.
Please.
I'm taking hits in the clock,
I'm taking hits in the pocket.
- You know? I'm taking punches all over.
- Thanks.
It's ringing.
Answering machine. What do I say?
If you're missing a girl,
call this number:
I think I'm gonna be sick again.
Well...
It can't be something you ate.
Now, listen...
I know a place where I can get the cake.
We do the party, I drive you to London,
to your 5-star hotel.
I promise.
That's really kind of you, but...
I just feel like that would take forever.
You know, maybe longer, and...
I just have to find another way.
I know I was supposed to do something...
important, and...
I don't know what it is.
Well, babe,
I want shot of you ASAP PFQ...
If there was another way,
then I'm sure I would have...
- I've just thought of one.
- Yeah?
Jesus Christ!
- Here's a 20 to get you to London.
- Thanks.
- When's the next bus?
- To be honest, darling, I ain't got a clue.
What?
Just having one last butcher's
in case I have to bang one out later.
Now, I'm being a gentleman,
not taking advantage, OK?
I bet I'll regret this.
It's freezing...
Oi!
Quiet night?
- So-so.
- Liar...
I've got just what you're looking for,
right here, at Duchy Mansion.
- Don't you fucking touch it.
- Nice "tie"...
Silky, smooth...
- Leave it.
- Business first.
This little gift you've imported for Harry
is easily the best!
He will be pleased!
That's why I want a share. Deal?
No share. No deal. No way.
Not even halfway.
Get him a cake.
Who makes a mob boss a cake?
- Someone who cares.
- Someone who cares...
Yes...
We'll give him the "tie" and the cake.
I say we but it could just as easily be "I".
You know you can't deliver.
You never leave the house.
You know you can't deliver.
You haven't got the guts!
Deal?
Deal.
I look like death.
I feel like death.
What makes me feel good?
Music.
You're listening to KHUFU...
I'm Felix Chester
with the Memory Mix on 99.9--
Where does it hurt you, baby?
In my guts and in my brain.
I hear ya.
You hear me?
Now, hear this...
I'm listening.
(Betty Steeles' Where Are You?)
Broken frames
So dark inside
faces mismatched
Trickle up in a line
Waves of shadows
Scattered dreams
Where are you?
Where are you?
Trying to find
What do I see...
Pictures that rhyme
- Colours that breathe...
- Gotta get out of here.
I need to
Discover more
find where I've been
Let images pour...
How many do I take of these?
Doesn't say.
Pictures that rhyme,
colours that breathe...
Police...
Trying to find
What do I see?
Pictures that rhyme
Colours that breathe...
Sorry... I'm sorry.
Dad...
Sorry, dear,
I've had to cut the trip short.
Board meeting in New York...
Board meeting... Board...
Dad...
Dad... I think we both know
why we're leaving early.
I think we both know
why we're leaving early.
Dad...
Dad, I'm sorry... I'm sorry.
After her.
More on tonight's kidnap story.
Police have launched a nationwide
search for Alice Dodgson, 19,
who was brutally snatched
in London street this evening.
Billionaire Lewis Dodgson has posted
a 10-million-dollar reward
for the return of his daughter.
Eye witness reports say
she was bundled into a black cab.
Billionaire's daughter.
Today will be a little bit
better than yesterday.
Police.
999.
- Emergency?
- Yes.
I would like to report that I'm...
sick and my head is spinning
and I got sick and I'm very lost.
Where are you?
Yes, I'm in a phone booth at a bus stop.
- Your name?
- My name... Sorry, I don't know.
- Have you taken drugs?
- Have I taken some drugs? Yes.
Great.
Cheerio. Ta-ta. Wheaties.
Stupid country.
What you looking for?
A pick-me-up?
Fine, 3, 5 and 2, 6 and 1.
Lucky eyes here now
before delivery is done.
- What? Mister...?
- Drop the Mister.
See this eye.
I'm no pillar, I'm a cat.
Postman chiller is where I'm at.
I think it's the police.
- What are you doing?!
- Saving your arse from the SPG.
Them mothers'll lock you down
and throw away the key.
- I haven't done anything.
- Tell it to the judge to sentence his life
and he don't budge.
My hooker she's a looker.
Hit me scratch and I even let you.
- Pleased to met you.
- Policeman here is not to be trusted.
Step out of line and pow!
You is busted!
I can't spend it.
one on a boat, another mil on motors.
A box of the mighty Hammers!
I can't spend it. I can't spend it.
- Where to, babe?
- London.
A cabbie said he'd take me
but then he disappeared.
He didn't seem honest,
and... he isn't as I feared.
Infected with the rhyme,
check out now down town.
Next drop Lloyd Street, number 31.
It seems a little late to deliver the post.
Au contraire,
now is when folks need it most.
Baby, you got email.
- You sell drugs?
- Ain't a lie.
Ain't a pill on the planet
I don't know and you can buy.
Well, these don't seem to be working.
And I need to get my memory back
from where it is lurking.
"For your head"?
Beats! That's a heavy pop!
You better see a doc
before you open up the top.
But I've already taken 1
or have I taken 2?
I can't remember old stuff
and now I can't remember new.
Think yourself smart.
I wish it was me.
Take for your head
and be who you wanna be.
How can I be who I wanna be
when I am who I am?
When memories come back, some
you keep and some you trash in a can.
You can deal the cards,
just rearrange the deal.
We pick you up 1,
we drop you down 2.
If I get to the party, my driver's inside.
No access to the party
without an invitation.
- Where can I get one?
- I know just da location.
Fuck!
Cool.
- Thanks for the ride.
- Bump the duchess when you meet her.
Ciao from the hydroponic
Bonnie and Clyde.
Hello?
Hi!
Hello. I'm looking for the duchess.
Eggs, rum, sugar,
milk, cherry, rum...
I ordered oxtail, not mulligatawny!
Too spicy!
Well, what are you doing at my desk?
I'm trying to get to the party.
Yes! I've been invited but I shan't go.
Why not?
I like my head where it is...
on my shoulders.
Now, the invitation is yours,
in exchange for one thing.
Knowledge.
- Of what?
- Of you.
But... Look, I don't know
anything about me.
You make my gossip nose twitch
like freshly-peppered soup.
- Is it you who has cameras everywhere?
- Eyes, darling, eyes!
So, why would an inconsequence like you
want to go to some awful do?
Whitey will be there.
I need him.
He owes me a ride home.
And what's so good about home?
Home...?
- I can't think...
- Then don't!
Slither into your subconscious,
your subterranean brain.
What comes into your mind?
Horses.
What about your family?
Siblings?
Boyfriend?
My head is spinning. I forget.
I was going to meet my mom.
And then I get hit by a taxi and now...
TBI- traumatic brain injury.
Caused by falls, blows to the head
and, most commonly, road accidents.
Tough... To your right.
Excellent!
It's as plain as the face on your nose!
Complete cognitive crash-
in the temporal lobe, your medial
thalamus and the orbital frontal lobe.
- Is that bad?
- There are signs of improvement.
- You're taking pills?
- For my head.
Good.
What is all that?
These are the things that you know.
None of them make any sense.
The mind is a maze of memories
and knowledge.
But how will I ever unjumble it all?
You can't unravel the complex,
until you've mastered the most simple.
Starting with...
- Who am I?
- Top drawer on the right.
Yes... Follow the red lights.
Red means "go".
Goodbye.
Thank you.
Paint the town red.
Have you seen a girl, 20, blond hair, fit?
Red means go.
Hey, hey, come back.
I know you!
Bob's your uncle.
Painting the town red. Red, red.
follow me. Painting the town red.
Please come back!
Alice!
Come back.
- You ain't ready to leave.
- Who's there?
DJ Felix on KHFM,
saying stay tuned for essential platters,
minimum chatter,
and circular sound sensations.
Circles... Circles...
We all move in circles.
This doesn't feel like a circle.
We think we're going in a straight line,
but what goes around... comes around.
Is that a riddle?
What has no conditions
but one condition?
That's a riddle.
Is that...
Is that MY riddle?
It's my riddle. It's your answer.
Find it, and find yourself.
Hey!
Stop!
Table 8.
Miss!
Milk!
Crumpets! Crumpets! Crumpets!
Yummy, yummy.
- Why didn't you stop?
- Bulb needed changing.
Painting the town red.
Wait, weren't you the one who...
Wasn't me.
Maybe you came across me brother.
You is well buff!
You looking for business?
- I'm looking for Hearts nightclub.
- You're miles away!
I was hoping to... get a ride.
Fuck a duck!
I'll give you the ride of your life.
Ladies call me...
un-fucking-forgettable.
And that ain't for my looks-
even though they is impressive.
Wait 'ere, yeah?
Un-f-forgivable.
I need to remember more.
- Milk!
- Tea!
Sugar!
- Tart!
- Crumpet!
Sticky tart!
for your head?
Be who you wanna be...
Your father flies to London
next week... Your father...
- Mom!
- You should go with him.
- You should go with him.
- ...tea with the Queen.
Some you keep and some you trash...
- I only have your interest in life.
- I wanted you to meet Wolfgang.
Mom, for the 100th time,
I can find my own dates.
I knew a woman who lived
on Hulme Street.
When you get home,
you'll have your head straightened out.
I can find my own dates.
I'm not a commodity.
- You're a Dodgson. And act accordingly.
- H-U-L-M-E, my mom's still there.
Wakey-wakey!
Class!
What did you do to my hair?
It's disgusting!
Disgusting is what we're liking in here.
A bit of French is handy.
And you get double if you do Greek.
Disgusting is why you're up for the job!
- My little strawberry tart.
- There must be some misunderstanding.
- I'm just passing through.
- Only when you've paid your dues.
Top hair-do like that, it's not cheap.
- Roger and out. All change.
- Roger that. Over and out.
You know what you need inside ya-
before you get anything else inside ya?
- A nice cuppa tea.
- I don't drink tea.
What?!
No tea!
Where did they drag you from? Mars?
- No...
- Next trucker, please...
Finnburtons Hotel, London.
Permanent residence: Hamptons,
Long Island, New York, United States...
Yes! Calm down, I know where that is.
Listen, I... I just need to get to Harry's.
Harry? Harry Hunt?
There's a charmer!
- Harry Hunt!
- You know what his favourite colour is?
- Red.
- Yeah, blood red.
- A proper psycho is Harry.
- Come on, mate. He's sound.
Apart from being a complete psycho!
- I'm sorry. I don't have time for this.
- You're right.
Time is money. And your time is my time.
So get out and earning.
What...?
What kind of place is this?
- Tyre park.
- A greasy spoon-ani.
My mobile a-brothel.
Yeah, and I'm first up.
- Dibs.
- I got dibs.
- Earl Grey to Hattie, next.
- 10-4 headed to Earl Grey, roger and out.
- All change!
- Nice...
Get off me!
Listen, I need to get to Hearts.
- Can anyone give me a ride?
- Me, me, me!
Read the sign.
There's only one madam here, Madam.
Break her in. Don't be gentle.
- What?
- Come on!
- What are you doing?!
- She's gorgeous! Love her!
Get your hands off me!
Let go of me! Hands off!
- Seen more meat on a budgie's cock
- In!
Nice...
In the nuddy. Now.
Where are ya? Where are ya?
- What are you doing?
- Taking my clothes off.
Nice...
Distressed call from an American
girl has been positively identified
- as kidnapped heiress Alice Dodgson.
- Arse.
The search has been described
- as the force's top priority...
- Double-arse.
Scotland Yard has released a tape
thought to be the voice of her kidnapper.
If you're missing a girl
call this number: 0044 7788...
He's resting. Blew his mind.
- Fuck.
- 3 minutes. That's the rule.
OK...
What's going on?
Jesus Christ!
OK, nice and easy...
Live animals in the back.
- Holy shit!
- Nice!
Nice!
- Open the fucking door!
- Get the hell down!
Slow down!
Get down!
Stupid! Let me back in.
Whitey?
Whitey!
- Jump!
- Don't jump!
Open the windows!
Open the door!
Steady. Steady.
Don't do it!
Jump!
Nice!
We did it!
My God! We did it!
What have you done to your hair?
- What?
- What have you done to your hair?
I nearly die
and you ask me about my hair?
If I hadn't mentioned it,
you'd have sulked.
- You people are insane!
- It's in the breeding.
What are you doing here anyway?
You dumped me at a coach stop,
remember?
Exactly right. And I went back
to find you and you'd gone
and I couldn't give you all alone
and helpless. I had to find you.
- Really?
- I got no time to tell lies.
It's not in my nature.
You're VIP.
You're a Very Important Passenger.
I'm important?
I've been speeding my tits off to find you,
my beautiful Alice.
If you're happy and you know it
clap your hands!
Alice.
Alice?
- My name is Alice.
- Yeah, well, don't go shouting about it.
- Do you think they're following us?
- Not yet.
Lock the door.
- What happens if they do find us?
- Let me get my head straight.
- I feel bad about the ladies in the truck.
- What's a few tarts between friends?
When word gets out about you, the whole
world and his wife will be outside.
- Can we just call the police?
- Great idea, yeah. 15-20 for kidnapping.
We can tell them a story.
We can say that you rescued me.
- My Whitey-knight.
- A witness fingered me.
Now I want you to give me one minute.
Just one minute.
That's 60 seconds, yeah?
Alice.
Alice.
Alice.
I don't know why I thought
I had a more unusual name.
- Like Tabitha, or Electra...
- I said 60, not 6.
- You're a slave to time.
- I'm a slave to nothing.
You wear 2 watches.
They're your shackles.
Speak for yourself.
He's willing to pay 10 million for me.
- He does love me.
- It's not about love. This is business.
- You don't know my father.
- And you do?
I gotta get us out. They'll be cruising
every road waiting for us.
You do stand out in your London cab.
You're not as mental as you act.
Couple of easy steals down there,
I'm gonna go check 'em out.
If these are shackles,
we're shackled together, you and me.
Me and you.
I'll be 5 minutes, 10 minutes tops,
you can time me.
Then I'm taking you back.
- Because of the reward money?
- Because that's what I promised.
I'm locking you in.
Bingo!
How grateful we are to the British Police
for their unstinting efforts
in trying to trace our daughter
and bring her kidnappers to justice.
I'm afraid I cannot comment...
for obvious reasons.
What do I remember?
Dodgson Industries is putting up
a 10-million-dollar reward
for a any information leading
to the safe return of our daughter.
10-million-dollar reward.
Please, you must understand
that this is a very distressing time
for Mrs. Dodgson and me.
And a difficult time
for Dodgson industries.
Remember... Remember...
Your father flies to London.
I've hired a private investigator.
- That's good.
- You don't know who you are.
Dad, something came up...
Dad...
Remember when you and mom
lived here in London?
Do you remember when I was born?
I really do need to study these...
Dad, something came up.
I think she may have found out.
I do have to study these.
I knew a woman
who lived on Hulme Street.
You don't know you who are,
so you don't know who you're not.
If you're missing a girl call this number.
Yes...
I'll have her with you
in 10 minutes, Harry.
No...
No, my pleasure.
Anything for you, Harry. You know that.
Yeah. I would... He's gone.
Once me and Harry split that 10 mil...
Or more.
I mean, what limit to a father's love
for his coochie-coochie girl?
Nice of you to join us.
- Where's Whitey?
- Whitey?
He's out.
With the fairies.
Where are you taking me?
- The police are looking for me.
- Yeah.
And if you step out of line,
they might find a piece.
What should it be, do you think, Alice?
An ear? A little pinkie?
You don't play piano, do ya?
Gonzo.
You won't see any money.
- Just wait until Whitey catches up.
- Whitey...?
Please...
He wouldn't risk
a hair on his arse for ya.
The money, maybe.
But not you.
More on tonight's story. Police have
issued this picture of the kidnapper.
See, at the end of the day, Alice,
us chaps, we're all the same.
Only in it for what we can get out.
He's different.
You have been starved of affection,
haven't you?
Daddy not shown you enough love?
Don't worry... We'll make him pay.
Get the cake. Get it on the roof rack now.
And where's my girl?
Come on, mate, let us in.
You've got to let us in.
- I'm on the guest list.
- No jeans.
- No acne.
- No trainers.
- I'm his cousin...
- No goatee.
- No pierced noses.
- Eyebrows.
- Bellybuttons.
- Bell ends.
- We're connecting through RSPCA.
- No twats in combats.
- I need the loo.
- Has my friend gone inside?
Nobody with a name that can be
shortened to an-az contraction.
- Like Gaz.
- Or Daz.
All right, lads. I'm a film director.
I can really see you in my next movie.
- No?
- No poofs.
- Shirt-lifters.
- Rump-rangers.
- Chutney-ferrets.
- Arse-bandits.
- Sausage-jockeys.
- Fudge-packers.
- Uphill gardeners.
- Bowlers from the pavilion end.
- No entry. No way.
- Let us in.
- No chance.
- Gentlemen.
Come on.
After you!
Get lost! No way!
Fuck off!
Rex, we've done what you said.
None of them what's liking
their feet is getting in.
Slight misinterpretation of policy.
Nobody's fault, but you can let
the alternative crowd in now.
The seaman-sappers?
Harry's orders.
- That's a queer decision if you ask me.
- Right!
All you fairies...
Hello, Harry.
Looks like "Sale of the Century" in here.
Nice presents.
- No peeking.
- Wouldn't dream.
Thank you.
I've got some lovely new gifts.
Smart motor, from Jimmy 3 Chins.
Very nice new gaff from Muhammad Eight
and his Seven Brothers.
And a rather precautious
little filly from One Ball Barry.
This...
This little beauty...
takes the biscuit.
This is the one. The one who's missing.
Alice.
You must let me know
who does your nails.
For God's sake.
Come sit with me.
I wouldn't pay 10 dollars for it!
Shame those boys at the door
had to share the one brain.
It's filling up nicely.
Very colourful crowd.
Thank you.
- Rex, Alice.
- What, no nickname?
Formally, Rex the Executioner.
It's Murder now he's retired.
Rex killed them with kindness.
Always the gent.
Any other line of work,
he'd have been knighted.
So?
Shall we go over my deal?
I think you'll find
it's my deal, gentlemen.
Play your cards right,
you'll soon be with daddy.
No jokers, no wilds.
This is a 3-card trick.
I call the old man and up the ante.
Money goes in my offshore account
and I pay out all the players.
- Like we said, yeah?
- That's right.
And 3...
Alice goes home.
- Questions?
- And if he can't come up with the money?
Rex comes out of retirement.
And what if I don't want to go home.
Then this will be your leaving party!
Leaving this mortal coil.
Well, if it is to be my last night,
I would want it to be
better than any other.
- I don't get out very often.
- Me neither.
Once every 10 years.
Then, if it's all the same to you,
I'll get a drink downstairs.
On the house, my dear.
Harry... Harry, this...
- This deal...
- The 70130, yes.
Well, we'll hammer out the details
of the 80120 later, shall we?
But...
What do I like...
Hi, could I get a white wine, please?
A Chablis?
It's not your birthday, is it?
- Mine is July 19th.
- And me!
Where's Gonzo?
A big cake for the big man.
I am partial to a slice of cherry genoa.
This one's got a different kind of cherry.
She said you were getting him a tie.
But a cake...?
That's even worse.
What a fucking Spongebob!
I'm sorry about the delay, Harry.
It took me a while to locate
your favourite filling.
- Your Thai.
- Thai?
Very good.
But you do know
I'm a bachelor of the arse now?
- She's got a sausage.
- And taters.
Sweetheart.
You're not keeping it, are you?
You don't know where it's been.
When I want your opinion, Jack,
I'll give it to you.
It's not Jack. It's Jacqui.
Or Jacqueline for posh.
Very nice, my cab-driving friend.
But the damage has been done.
Lessons need to be learned.
What is it we have to do
to all get along?
Share. And share alike.
What's your is mine.
- Where is this going?
- For you?
The cemetery. A service at St Mary's,
"All things bright and beautiful".
Same old Gonzo, same old liability.
Yeah. When it pops you,
try not to bleed on my suit,
it's labelled.
Gonzo didn't tell ya?
- Tell me what?
- Old father William knows she is in town.
- Old Bill knows Alice is here?
- Don't listen to him, Harry.
My priority was to secure the girl
outside your turf.
Keep you clean.
Then get you to cut the deal.
Why should I believe you?
any fool could see that.
Only you can pull off a big one, Harry.
That's why I'm here.
You brought her to my gaff,
knowing I'd be fingered?
Harry... He's lying.
If there's a Billy in this room, it's you.
Well, I'll take her away.
I didn't know the goods was hot.
Gonzo.
That really is a nice suit.
Bad day?
My dance partner has got a rash
from a cheap bikini wax
leaving me high and dry for tonight.
My lottery numbers came up
on the one day I didn't get my ticket,
and even of I did cheat with a ruler,
my John Thomas is...
well under the national average.
I can't tango solo.
I don't suppose you... dance?
I don't remember.
- It's not something you'd forget.
- It's a long story.
I've got all night.
Well, you know, actually, I don't.
But I will say, if I'm gonna die,
I'm gonna die knowing who I am
and who I wanted to be.
Hear, hear.
Your father flies to London.
I can find my own dates.
You're a Dodgson...
We only have your own interests at heart.
Dad, something came up.
Do you remember when I was born?
H...
This is a distressing time
for Mrs. Dodgson...
U...
Remember when you and mom
lived here in London?
- L...
- Private investigator.
- M...
- What's in here
may change your life forever.
E.
This Alice...
- She's trouble.
- I can sort it for you.
And I was having such a nice time!
- Let me get rid of her.
- That's a great idea. No questions.
I want her disappeared. Professional.
- That's not what I meant.
- It's what I mean that matters!
She's valuable.
Whitey, you just don't
understand, do you?
Kidnapping-- it's not right.
We should stick to what we know,
and I know about robbing banks.
Here, how's this?
I get the reward, put it in a bank...
you rob the bank.
Don't you get clever. You haven't got
the brains to mess with me.
Or the money.
I'll tell you about money!
I paid well for protection. Where is it?
Hattie, sweetheart, tone, please.
Come here.
Tell me what happened.
She nicked my girls.
Pinched me prossies.
Stole me tarts.
I want justice.
THIEF!
I'll take care of her, Harry.
I'll do all right, you'll see.
Tart larceny is a serious offence.
I need to set an example.
Rex! Trial.
- A trial!
- What's going on?
- What trial?
- Whitey, council for the accused.
Rex, prosecution,
everyone else, the jury.
Alice, dear. Best of British luck.
- Am I gonna need it?
- The defence is not allowed to speak.
- So, technically, yes.
- Charges?
Theft of truck containing 6 prostitutes
and non-payment of hairdressing fees.
- How do you plead?
- I plead diminished responsibility.
Diminished what?
Responsibility, yeah.
She was wrong in the head.
- Objection! Defence has spoken.
- She's off her head!
Completely. Damaged the medial
temporal lobe- caused by his cab.
I'm suing for damages.
He should be behind bars.
- What?
- Defence spoke again!
Contempt of court!
Throw him out.
- Wait, please!
- Do her!
- Surely he can...
- Do her!
Look, I'm sorry about your ladies,
but my head was in pieces.
Insanity is not a plea.
It's a way of life.
Everyone around here is a card short.
Sentence is passed! Rex!
Can I call a witness?
I'm not sure that you can.
Then you're not so sure I can't.
Defendant calls to the stand...
- Lady's lost her memory.
- Traumatic brain...
Circles, we all run...
Defendant cal is Felix Chester.
Permission to speak privately...
with my girl.
- Felix...
- Granted.
This is all about time.
Except I haven't any left
for one of your riddles.
If you had been a few seconds early...
that cab wouldn't have hit you.
I can give back the time you lost,
the part that made a difference.
- Such as...?
- You were running, you were free.
You heard a voice.
The bag lady.
You stopped to give her money,
but time ticked on.
Just 15 seconds.
I can give you them back.
Trust me.
I'm a DJ.
- Time's up.
- Just say when.
Accused may address the court
before sentence is carried out.
You think you're so tough.
King of the underworld.
But really,
you're nothing but an old queen!
When!
Run. 2...
Whitey!
After her! Rex!
No!
No...
Don't die. I won't let you die!
- All out of time.
- No, I won't let you die. I won't.
Run.
Told you you'd get it back.
- What?
- The time.
Use the 15 seconds.
I can give you them back.
- See you again!
- Run.
Wait!
Oi, bird, move!
I don't believe this.
Look at the time.
I'm late on the left, I'm late...
Where's me watch?!
How did you do that?
Shut up and listen.
Your name is Whitey,
you're on your way to pick up
a Thai ladyboy as a gift for Harry Hunt.
You'll miss delivery and wind up dead.
I know, I was there. My name is Alice.
- Look, my dad's a billionaire.
- Is this an English version of "Punk'd"?
He controls my life and now he wants
to marry me off to this German schmuck.
So I have to break away now.
Or I might never get the chance again.
Just slow down, babe.
Just slow down.
He will post a 10 million-dollar
reward for my return.
We can find a way to get the money
and get away.
"We"?
You choose.
or dead at the seaside later.
Tick-tock, tick-tock.
- Dead...?
- Toes up.
or 10 million dollars?
Roughly 5 million
of your cute British pounds.
Get in.
If this is a stitch up,
you better have a good plastic surgeon.
I think there's a bottle
of "For your Nerves" in your bag.
Maybe you should take some
and calm down.
What...
What the fuck are you?
I'm the girl who saved your life.
Now let's go and sort out mine.
I'm looking for a woman
who lived here about 20 years ago.
My mother.
So...
My mother just sold me?
I remember her having the baby...
You.
She never knew the father.
They came at night in a fancy car,
the Americans.
The woman couldn't have children.
Told people in America she was pregnant.
And then bought you.
- Why me?
- You were white, you were easy...
no red tape, no questions, no records-
cash deal.
- That happens in England?
- Happens all over, darling.
Buyers' market.
She did the best for you.
Do you know where she went after that?
She went off the rails.
Drowned the guilt in booze.
Tried to kill herself.
Don't blame her.
It looks as if you've turned out all right.
Have you ever seen her since?
You know what? I see her every day.
Alice Dodgson, daughter of
American millionaire Lewis Dodgson
is reported to have been abducted.
Police are giving a few details of
the circumstances of her disappearance,
and, as yet,
no ransom demand has been received.
We're here.
You sure you're OK?
Never felt better.
Can you just wait here?
The meter's running.
How much would
Said I'd see you again.
You know who I am?
No.
I know some things. Not all things.
And that's a shame.
Are you any good with riddles?
Try me.
What's got no conditions
but one condition?
That takes me back.
To where?
I was about your age.
She was the sweetest thing...
though I wasn't.
I loved her,
but sometimes that's not enough.
Sometimes it's everything.
What's got no conditions
but one condition?
- Love.
- Ain't it just!
What's your name?
My name is Alice.
My girl was called Alice.
How would you feel
about a big hotel room
with a king-size bed and a long hot bath
and room service?
Nah...
I got all I need here.
Circles... Circles...
We all move in circles.
(Betty Steeles' Where Are You?)
Broken frames
So dark inside
faces mismatched
Trickle up in a line
Waves of shadows
Scattered dreams
Where are you?
Where are you?
Trying to find
What do I see?
Pictures that rhyme
Colours that breathe
I need to
Discover more
find where I'll be
Let images pour
Trying to find
What do I see?
Pictures that rhyme
Colours that breathe
Trying to find
What do I see?
Where are you?
Pictures that rhyme
Colours that breathe
(Fast Country: Bobbi Chitin's
The Titty Song)
Yes, I know, girl
Big titties, small titties
Little itty bitty titties
Round titties, flat titties
Crawfish titties, girl
I don't mind what cup you got
So long as that cup's gone
when daddy gets on top
Big titties, little titties
Little fluffy bush titties
Round titties, flat titties
Big down daddy titties
I don't mind what size there is
But when daddy on top
Make sure you make you go
That's how you do it, girl
Big and small
finger-lickin' with the taste
Pink ones, brown ones
Sugar-picking pie ones
Clean ones, dirty ones
Swamp shit muddy ones
I don't mind
so long as you make daddy go
Heebada... Hum-shebada
Sum-blablabla...risque!
I don't mind which way you look
But when daddy unbuckles
Make sure you make me go...