Mandao Returns (2020) Movie Script
1
You were astral
projecting last night, right?
Yeah.
Don't you think
it's kind of strange
that you started getting your abilities
around the time that I was killed?
I think our path's were
supposed to cross, man.
I mean I'm stuck in this
plane, but, you're not.
If you can somehow astral
project back in time
and stop me from going to Maeve's,
you can bring me back, man.
I can astral project back in time?
You are an astral traveler, okay?
With your abilities,
you can defy the laws of time and space.
You can travel to different
dimensions if you wanted to.
Jay.
Dad?
You're all grown up.
Yeah.
There's something you should know,
and I don't have much time, all right.
Don't astral project anymore.
Word got out, about
what you did last night.
And it's creating a
stir on the other side.
Do you trust me?
Yeah.
Come with me.
Okay.
What are you doing up, Jackson?
What is this?
Hello?
Jackson?
Jay, I told you not to
astral project anymore.
Why didn't you listen?
They're trying to reach you.
Don't let them in, Jay.
Don't let them in!
You okay, Uncle Jay?
Yeah, yeah.
Weird dream.
You sure?
Yeah.
- Okay.
- Yeah.
And I hate
to give you bad news over breakfast,
but autopsy reports confirm
that "Mars Cop" actress, Aura Garcia,
died of an overdose of
the popular street drug
known as party favors,
last week in her Los Angeles home.
Police are on the lookout for
a drug dealer known as Siggy,
in connection with her death.
The mysterious drug lord had been using
Mandao cereal boxes to transport the drug.
At this time, we have
no official statement
from the Mandao cereal corporation.
Coming up next, strippers
against global warming.
It's a shame what that menace
is doing to Mandao's name, Uncle Jay.
Uh-huh.
All right.
Y'all are gonna make
yourselves useful tonight.
I have a very important
client coming over.
Did you open this?
Aura Garcia's manager.
After your little Halloween stunt,
I decided to have a
holiday special of my own.
5% sale on all psychic services.
Contacting the dead's been my biggest hit.
Well, right after pet telepathy.
This guy, Ted Williams,
has been hitting me up
ever since Aura died,
and he's paying big bucks.
So, tonight we are making
contact with Aura Garcia.
You're a charlatan, Andy.
You never cease.
You never cease.
I'm making money, Jay.
What are you guys doing?
I'm a janitor, cousin Andy, all right.
You know that.
Okay, well getting fired after two days
does not equal a career, Jackson.
And I'm not your cousin.
Until you guys can afford to pay rent,
you both work for me.
And take a shower, Jay!
You believe the nerve
of that guy, Uncle Jay?
Move.
You still mad at me?
Hey, I'm looking for a
job, Uncle Jay, all right?
When I get it I'm gonna
pay you back, I promise.
Yeah, you burnt down my apartment.
It's popcorn soup, Uncle Jay.
It's volatile, but god, it's delicious.
Mm-hm.
Sometimes I just wanna.
I, I wanna.
Come on, I need your help in the garage.
Wow.
This thing looks great, Uncle Jay.
What is it?
It's called a spirit box.
It's for talking to the other side.
That's cool.
Have you had any luck with it, or?
Not yet.
But today might be the day.
Whoa.
Wish me luck.
Hello?
Is anybody here?
I'm trying to reach Raymond Mandao.
Dad, if you're here, speak into the radio.
Dad!
Dad?
It's me.
Sorry.
Damn it.
Why can't you just astral
project and find your dad?
I keep having these dreams where,
he tells me not to.
This is stupid, he's dead.
Aw, come on Uncle Jay.
Look, I'm turning it off.
Okay, now remember,
it's all about atmosphere.
We really want Mr Williams to feel
like he's having an authentic experience.
You're choking me.
You're choking me, Andy.
There's more where that came from
if you fuck this up, popcorn boy.
All right, Jay,
now I know that you don't
astral project anymore,
but I think...
No, you know what?
It's fine, I'm in.
What do you need me to do?
Oh, okay good.
I need you to be my all seeing eye.
What the hell does that mean?
I need you to help me
make Mr Williams think
that I can see things that
I shouldn't be able to see.
Oh, like how many
fingers you're holding up.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And some other things too, okay?
All right, but I'm not
taking sleep mix again, okay?
That stuff messes with my brain.
You don't have to.
I've got something better.
This is a special binaural beat.
It'll have you in astral form in seconds.
Here, put this on and lay down.
Okay.
Okay, get comfy.
Give me your phone.
Give me your phone, give me your phone.
Thank you.
Okay Jay, don't be alarmed.
I'm about to call you.
Answer his phone.
Okay.
Testing, testing.
Say something, Jay.
Hey, hey can you hear me?
Yes, yes!
It's working.
It works!
I know, I...
No, I mean it's working!
Show time.
Jackson, go get the door.
Jay, meet me in the living room.
Welcome to the house of Tarot.
Can I take your coat?
I'm not wearing a coat.
Would you like a coat?
No, I don't want a coat.
Sweater?
What's with your outfit?
Uh.
You look like a homeless bellhop.
Andy.
I'll take it from here.
Go lay down.
Hi Mr Williams.
Thanks so much for coming.
It's nice to meet you.
Come on in.
You're Andy, huh?
Yes, that's me.
What's up with the perv?
Um, he belongs to my cousin.
Take a seat.
Take a seat.
Man.
Looks like Alec Baldwin's
angry stunt double.
Now Ted, I know things
might seem strange at first,
but I want you to know
that you've reached out
to the right person.
But don't take my word for it.
Okay.
Allow me to demonstrate my power.
I will now guess how many
fingers you're holding up.
Okay, hang on a second.
Could you just get Aura, okay?
I didn't come here for
a little magic show.
This is real.
I, I don't have a lot of time.
It's cool though, just try.
It's not cool.
Your turban's too tight.
Just get Aura on the phone.
Okay, just try.
How many fingers am I holding up now?
He's flicking you off.
You're flicking me.
Okay, all right.
Skip the foreplay, let's just get started.
Hang on a second, I'm sorry.
Who is it?
Someone named Philip.
Does Philip know that he's interrupting
a very important session right now?
No.
It's really important to me
that I speak to Aura, okay?
'Cause I let her down.
I wasn't there for her when she needed me.
The one time she needed me.
I wasn't there.
I want her to know I'm sorry.
It's also, the matter of
unpaid residuals, you know?
I mean "Mars Cop" was very big
and I didn't get my mailbox money.
So, if you could just get her
to give you some information
in terms of where my
residuals are, that'd be huge.
When was the last
time you were with Aura?
It's, it's been a while, okay?
I'm not gonna lie to you.
We've had a falling out.
Well, Ted, that's all about to change.
What?
What in the hell is that?
This is a spirit box.
Hey!
Hey, what are you doing?
Andy.
What are you doing?
We call upon the spirit of Aura Garcia.
Close your eyes.
Concentrate on Aura.
Aura, Aura Garcia.
- It doesn't work, dude.
- Aura.
Dude, it doesn't work.
Aura Garcia.
Hello?
It do...
Teddy?
Yes, yes, Aura.
If that's you honey,
give us an indication.
My god, Aura.
Teddy?
Teddy?
Teddy is that you?
She's never called me Teddy in her life.
Well, maybe she does now.
Aura, Teddy would like
you to call him Ted.
Yeah, since that's what you've called me
the entire time that you've known me.
That'd be great.
Hi Ted.
You shitting me?
It's beautiful here.
I just got done tanning.
You don't have to worry
about skin cancer up here.
Isn't that beautiful?
Jay.
Get me outta here.
Hold on, Uncle Jay.
Are you all right?
Oh, my back!
Um.
Seems like there's some
extra spirits in the room.
Uh, no, um.
What is this?
It's a conduit.
I think there's a lot of
extra spirits in the room
and we're just kinda hearing.
My ass, this is a walkie talkie
that you put inside your spirit box.
- No no no!
- To make it sound
like you were getting Aura.
No, they're from another plane.
You're a fraud!
I swear.
Shut up!
Hello?
Hello, spirit, come in.
Mr Williams.
Spirit, I'm here.
Please, they're just...
I told you to shut the fuck up!
Hello?
Wherever you are, come out.
Be quiet Uncle Jay, you're
ruining the atmosphere.
You're ruining -
- My life!
Sons a bitches.
I knew you were up here!
Get the fuck up.
Ow, God damn it.
Ah, Christ.
If I pulled another disc, so help me god,
I'm gonna kick your asses.
The fuck outta the way!
You okay, Uncle Jay?
I think I was hallucinating.
Sorry Uncle Jay.
Get this fucking thing outta here.
Sorry.
You want a ham and PB&J?
No thanks, no.
You sure?
Yeah, thank you.
All right, suit yourself.
Damn.
This pack must have gone bad.
Yeah, it expired in 2016.
See those bold letters.
Don't eat that.
This is pathetic.
We gotta get outta here, man.
Hey, don't worry, Uncle Jay,
I'm talking to my old boss, all right?
I'm pretty sure he's gonna take me back
and when he does, I know he
could use a guy like you.
My life is pointless.
What do you mean?
I've been trying to reach my dad.
And I realized something.
Why would he want to see me?
I'm a loser.
I haven't done anything with my life.
I have no purpose.
Oh come on, Uncle Jay,
you know that's not true.
What about astral projection?
I mean you saved our butts last Halloween.
I really think there's a lot of folks
you could help out with those abilities.
Heck, I'd like to help
out right along with ya.
We're family, Uncle Jay.
We got that.
We got it all.
You burnt down my apartment, Jackson!
I said I'm sorry, all right.
Can we drop it?
Hello?
Hello?
Is someone here?
Is this the entity from earlier today?
Can you hear me?
Oh my God, this works.
What's your name?
I need your help!
Hey, where are you going?
Keep talking to it.
Uh, all right, um.
Are you human?
Yes.
Mm, you sound like a
lady, are you single?
Oh please,
like you have a higher
chance with a ghost.
Oh no.
Binaural track.
What are you doing, Uncle Jay?
I'm going under.
I, I don't think you should.
I mean what if it's a bad spirit?
If I don't wake up in five minutes,
do it for me, all right?
I don't know.
Jackson, what if this
entity needs my help?
Okay, give them too me.
All right.
All right, Uncle Jay, just be careful.
I got this.
Okay.
Hello?
My name is Jay Mandao.
I come with peaceful intentions.
Hey Jay.
Hey.
You're that actress.
Yup, that's me, but don't
ask for a selfie, okay?
I can't do that over here.
Oh, I, I wouldn't I.
Selfie's are stupid, so.
You know, I've heard about you.
You heard of me?
Yeah, a lot of people on the other side
really want to meet you.
They want to meet me, really?
Mm-hm.
Wow.
Wow, I'm a big fan of yours too, actually.
Really?
Yes.
What's your favorite
thing that I've done?
God, this is, what an opportunity.
Uh, uh.
Yeah, oh.
I can't think of anything right now,
but I'll tell you something, it, it was,
I like uh,
I don't know what it was called.
Glad I made an impact.
Listen, I need your help.
With what?
I know everyone thinks that
they died before their time,
but if anyone's life was
cut short, it was mine.
You know what I mean?
So, I need your help.
Hey!
Don't say another word, Jay.
How long were you waiting there, man?
Long enough.
I don't like business transactions
going on behind my back.
Oh my God, it's really you!
Aura, I'm a huge fan.
I've seen "Mars Cop" like 20 times.
I have like two copies.
One at home and one for on the go.
And one was mine, you borrowed it.
I'm sure.
Uh, you know, I saw what you
guys did with my manager Ted.
No no, it's fine.
I really don't want to
talk to that guy again.
He sucked.
Ruined my life.
Oh, thank God.
I mean, that's tragic.
Sad.
But he is terrible.
So is it true about what
you did last Halloween?
Where you went back in time
and prevented someone from dying?
Well, uh.
Uh, wait a minute, just a minute.
Now, we're both pro spirit and everything,
but you know, the living
still have to make a living.
You know what I mean?
Okay, I'd pay you,
but they don't have banks over here, dude.
Well, were you broke when you died?
No.
Okay, well did you leave
money around the house anywhere?
Yeah, in my room there's a lock box
with like $5,000 in cash.
Um, that'll do.
I mean, a little cheap for a
death reversal, but that'll do.
Time of death?
Thursday around 11:30 PM.
And is there a lock box key, code?
No, it's just like this book.
I think, "Treasure Island."
Okay.
Great.
Here are the terms.
We prevent you from dying.
In exchange, we get the
money in the lock box.
When we wake up, we will
look up your address
and go from there, won't we?
Yeah.
Stop saying we, you sound
like a French whore.
Aura.
Deal?
Deal.
Listen, Aura.
My father's name is Raymond Mandao.
He's on the other side.
If you could help me
get in contact with him,
I would really appreciate that.
Okay, I'll see what I can do.
Okay, well do you want
to exchange information?
Information, that's stupid.
We're back in the game, cuz.
Andy.
How is it supposed to work?
When I'm in astral form, I
can't, I can't touch anything.
Just let me take care
of the details, okay?
Let's get to work.
What is that?
What?
Calm down.
Keep it together.
Why are you sneaking up on me like that?
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Jay.
Christmas came early
this year, baby cousin.
My God, you.
Did it, did everything work out?
Everything worked?
Yeah, perfectly.
Andy.
We're gonna be rich!
Hey Fer.
Hey.
What's all this?
Little Christmas cheer.
Aren't you going a
little crazy here, Jay?
I don't think so, I don't think so.
Why is he still asleep?
He's fine.
The more he sleeps, the
more I save on food.
Yeah, I gotta go.
Hey, thanks for the ride.
No problem.
Also, here's a little tip.
Uh, I'm not gonna tickle
your pickle, you know?
Oh, then give it back.
Here.
I'm just kidding.
I can't, I can't take it.
I really can't.
Yes you can.
Hey, the boys and I are
gonna celebrate Christmas,
we'd love to have you.
Um, I can't.
I gotta go 'cause I, I'm
thinking of moving, you know?
Um, you ever think about moving?
All the time.
Listen up radiomites,
the next caller gets an exclusive pass
to our Aura Garcia memorial event
happening tonight at 7:00 PM.
Rest in peace, Aura, we love you.
This is DJ Miguel and you're
listening to,.
I, I don't know!
I don't know what happened, Uncle Jay.
Stay where you are.
I'm calling the cops.
That's a good idea, Uncle Jay.
What happened, Jackson?
I don't, I don't know.
I, I must have done this
in my sleep, Uncle Jay.
Give me the knife.
Give me the knife.
Get up.
Get up!
Move it!
I said move.
Shit.
I'm no good, Uncle Jay.
They're gonna give me the chair.
Yeah, they probably will.
- Really?
- Yes.
Does it hurt?
A lot, Jackson.
Hold on, hold on.
No!
Calm down.
No.
I gotta think.
You're doing the right thing, Uncle Jay.
Boys in blue will take it from here.
Time to ride the lightening.
All right.
I'll go back 20 minutes.
20 minutes.
I knew something wasn't right.
I never should have
let you guys live here.
Jackson didn't kill you, Andy,
he was being controlled by Aura.
What, she was here?
Yeah she was here.
I guess she's still a little dead, huh?
What do you want from me, Jay?
I've got my own problems right now, okay.
I'm really dead, man.
Oh my God.
I was gonna lose the house.
I needed that money.
My dad's gonna be so mad.
It's okay, it's okay, man.
Last night,
I got a little ambitious.
When you went under,
I gave you some sleep mix.
Let me guess, it was expired.
The whole batch man.
I stopped making that crap.
You're a dicksuit.
Anyway, once you took us back
to the night of Aura's death,
I sent you back to the present.
How did you do that?
I set an alarm on your phone
so that you'd be pushed
back to the present
while the sleep mix kept you sedated.
You slept like a baby.
What the hell!
Andy.
I'm sorry.
I, needed you.
I needed you to get me to the past.
I can't do that by myself, okay?
I tried.
Several times.
You're the only person I
know who can actually do it
and it pisses me off!
I'm sorry Jay, but
seriously it pisses me off!
I'm the only one you know who can do it?
Don't rub it in.
Okay, what happened next?
I possessed Jackson.
After that it was a
pretty simple operation.
I found out where Aura lives.
I broke in.
I got the money.
I stashed the money in the garage.
And when I woke up it was still there.
And you tried to stop
her from overdosing, right?
I might have been a little late.
Oh, you fucked us!
You fucked us north!
You fucked us south!
I'm sorry!
You fucked us!
I got a little greedy, okay.
A little greedy.
Well we need to fix this.
We need to fix this right now!
Yeah, okay, yes.
We can, we can fix this.
You just have to go back to last week
and make sure she lives.
Okay, I'll do that.
Shut up.
Shut up.
Looks like I finally got
what I deserve, Uncle Jay.
You're not dead,
you're astral projecting.
Awesome!
Oh, cousin Andy's alive too, huh?
No, he's dead.
Oh.
You were possessed by a ghost, Jackson.
The actress?
I mean, why would she do that?
We don't know, we don't know.
That's what we're trying to figure out.
We need your help, buddy.
You got it, Uncle Jay.
Okay.
You guys need to go back to last Thursday,
then y'all need to possess each other.
Oh, I don't know, cousin
Andy, it sounds evil.
No no no!
It's the easiest way, Jackson.
Otherwise we're stuck
communicating with radios
and that can be spotty.
All right.
All right, how do we do this?
Okay, it's actually pretty simple.
Instead of astral projecting to a place,
you astral project into a person.
As long as both bodies are sleeping,
you should be able to just
kind of merge with them.
Ew, yucky.
It's really easy.
It's like jumping in the driver's seat.
It's just like stealing a car.
Sounds illegal, cousin Andy.
Then it's just like
renting a car, Jackson.
Whatever.
We go back in time, last
Thursday, 11:00 P, 11:00 PM.
Whoa, how's it do that?
It's always fun when it -
Let's go.
Guys.
Okay, we'll be back, Andy.
Thank you.
Here goes nothing.
Copy that.
I'm getting blisters on my feet.
Where's Fer when you need her?
Geez, Uncle Jay, you
got some hairy legs.
Yeah, Jackson?
You're in cuddles with
a cop uniform, okay?
She's never gonna believe this.
This is from a few
Halloween's ago, okay?
We had to improvise.
Yeah, you're a dicksuit.
What's the plan?
Put it away, Jackson,
before I take it away.
Come on, let's go.
Turn it off, Jackson.
Would you just, would
you, just stand there.
Just stand there.
Police, open up!
Shit!
Jackson, put it away.
Jackson, put it away.
Put it in your God damned pocket, Jackson.
Ma'am, we got a call
about a possible
disturbance on the premises.
Get on the ground, now!
Oh my God.
Hey, you can't do this!
I have rights!
Oh, you want rights?
You want rights?
You can't have any rights!
Am I right, Uncle Jay?
Calm down, Jackson.
Sorry bout that, sorry.
Sorry, ma'am.
What the hell?
Why are you wearing cutoffs?
Miss Garcia, we know
you have the drugs, okay?
So you might as well just hand them over.
Either that or we're gonna
take you down to the station,
so it's your choice.
I'm not doing anything until
I speak to my lawyer, pig!
That's it, you earned this.
What is with you?
Sorry about that, Uncle Jay.
Sometimes I just get, amped!
Yeah.
Yeah, I guess you do, huh?
Geez, these are pretty tight.
Yeah, I gained a little
weight, Jackson, okay?
You insisted on wearing 'em.
Sorry about that, Uncle Jay.
Yeah yeah.
What's next?
Hey, hey, help me find.
Pay attention.
Help me find the drugs, okay?
All right, let's do this.
Yeah, let's go.
Wow, nice tapestry.
Good craftsmanship.
Oh wow, "Mars Cop."
This cop is about to see red.
God, everybody's seen that movie.
Oh, it's a great one, Uncle Jay.
Would you get that light
outta my face, Jackson?
Help me find the drugs.
Okay.
Hey bring that light over here, Jackson.
Oh, there it is.
Nice work!
Come on, let's go!
Fer!
Why was Fer here, Uncle Jay?
I don't know.
Come on.
Would you just back up?
We gotta start workin' out, Jackson.
Yeah we do, Uncle Jay.
I just got myself a gym
membership recently.
You did what?
Got a gym membership.
On my dime?
Hey, you can be a guest.
Jack, would you get that
light outta my face, Jackson.
It was a one click trick.
What's that?
That's payment.
Come on, let's get outta here.
Andy!
What?
Okay.
You're alive.
You're alive.
You okay, Jackson?
No.
No, I'm not Uncle Jay, I had
this bad dream last night.
I dreamt that we were,
we were at Aura's house
and we were all dying.
And there was, there was
somebody else there, too,
but I can't, I can't remember.
Ted?
Who's Ted?
Okay I, I think it's time
I filled you guys in on everything.
- Wow.
- Wow.
You weren't kidding?
No.
I can't believe you were
inside me, cousin Andy.
Me neither.
And I'm not your cousin.
I think I know why Fer
was there that night.
Aw, cool.
Don't.
Ay!
Ow!
- Stop it.
- Let me see it.
Stop!
Hey!
Care to explain this, Fer?
Or should I call you Siggy?
What the hell are you talking about?
You know, this really isn't
a good look for you, Jay.
Look, I'm not Siggy,
I'm his successor, okay?
Okay.
Not so fast.
All right!
I used to drive the real
Siggy to his client's houses.
And then one night,
after a few deliveries,
I looked in the back of
my car and he was gone.
Oh my God!
So what happened?
Did he go get a pack of
smokes, or something?
He OD'd on his product.
Oh.
But he left behind a shit load of drugs.
Look, I'm tired of being
a Bum Ride driver, okay?
So I saw an opportunity
and I took it, okay?
So shut up.
What'd you do with the body?
Yeah, what did you do with the body?
I left it on his porch
with a bag of party favors.
Okay, look, what was I supposed to do?
Give the drug dealer a proper burial?
Come on.
Well, this was a nice touch.
I'm sorry about that, Jay.
I actually am sorry about that.
But you have to admit that
was good branding, right?
Look, when I became Siggy,
it felt good.
But I'm done with all that.
I haven't answered her calls
since last week, so I'm out.
Hey Uncle Jay, why do you
think we had the same dream?
Maybe it was a shared premonition.
And if it was, we could all be in danger.
Along with Aura's manager.
Ted?
What?
Last time I was at her house,
she was telling me about this
club called the Population.
It's this cult where
they initiate new members
by making them do rituals and stuff.
I have been busting my ass
for so long and it's like,
I never have, I never
have any fucking money.
Why?
But things are about to change, Siggy.
Wanna know a secret?
I guess.
I think I'm about to make it big.
Like, really big.
Good for you.
Shit.
You know, fuck man.
Hollywood is a sick place,
and you would know that, look at you.
You don't get to the top
unless you sacrifice.
And I really mean that.
You have to sacrifice someone.
These actors in the $20 million club,
they didn't get to where they are
without having sacrificed something.
Someone.
I think you're taking
that too literally.
No I'm not.
Have you ever heard of the Population?
Is that a band?
It's a club.
All these celebrities, all these
A listers are a part of it.
It's like I can't even name people.
But you know them, okay?
And on Christmas Eve, at
midnight, it's gonna be official.
I'm gonna be one of them.
I am ready to sacrifice.
Cool.
And I cannot think of
anyone more deserving
than my manager Ted, he's perfect.
The little piece of shit.
You wanna know what he said to me?
This, I can't believe it, he said,
"You're worth more dead than alive."
And with posthumous CGI
and record sales and shit.
You sing?
No, I suck.
He's just a sociopath.
Police, open up!
Oh shit!
Then the cops showed up
and I booked it outta there.
I thought she was just stoned.
So that's it.
Aura's gonna try to kill her manager
tonight before midnight.
Okay, stop, stop.
Everyone, we fixed this, all right?
Can we just move on?
We fixed everything, all right?
What do you mean you fixed everything?
Fer, I'm an astral traveler.
So is Andy.
And Jackson too I guess, I don't know.
Point is, we traveled back in time,
we messed some stuff up
but we fixed it, okay?
Jackson and I possessed each other.
We were the cops that night.
That's how we knew you were there, okay?
That's what happened.
I've heard weirder things.
You guys, maybe Jay's right.
I mean, we're up five
grand, no one is dead.
Maybe we should just leave it alone.
Now wait just a minute, cousin Andy.
We shared a dream that
something bad was gonna happen.
Uncle Jay, that means something.
What's the matter with you guys, huh?
You got your money, and
that's all that matters?
For all we know,
an innocent man is gonna
meet his maker tonight.
And we can stop it.
Uncle Jay, you wanna know
what your purpose is?
This is it?
You're right, Jackson.
Yeah.
Ted's a prick, but he's innocent.
We could really use all
the help we can get.
Yes.
Come on, cousin Andy.
Mandao boys, right?
I'm out.
Oh, come on cousin Andy!
No, you come on, Jackson.
I just got my life back.
I'm not trying to lose it again!
Cousin Andy.
I'm not your cousin.
Well.
Let's go over it again.
Fer contacts Aura to
sell some party favors.
But instead of the real
thing, it's powdered candy.
Right.
After she inhales it,
Jackson employs the viper hand
and she's out like a light.
Then Jackson puts headphones on her
and plays the binaural track.
When she's in the astral realm,
she'll think she's dead and I'll be there
to make sure she doesn't wake up too soon.
Then we book it out of there.
When her alarm clock goes off,
it'll be past midnight.
There won't be a need to kill Ted,
and she'll be so happy she's alive
she'll never do drugs again.
Mission accomplished.
That's a great plan, Uncle Jay.
Thank you.
Yeah, that sounds like a
real half baked plan, Jay.
Oh, it's a half baked plan for,
what was your plan again?
Shut up.
It's a good plan, Jay, it'll work.
Thank you.
All right.
All right, father fuckers, let's go.
Greetings to you Population hopeful.
By midnight tonight,
we will see if you have
what it takes to join us.
If you are unable to complete
your initiation task,
you will be irrevocably banned
from joining the Population.
Any attempt to alert the
authorities of our operations
will result in severe consequences.
Remember, we know all your secrets.
There is no need to send
proof of your sacrifice.
We know where you are
and we will be watching.
Shit.
You guys ready?
- Yeah.
- I think so.
All right, be careful.
You too, Jay.
You ready?
Let's boogie.
All right.
Get in here.
Siggy, do you mind if I owe you?
I was robbed last week and I mean,
I'll pay you back in a
couple days, I swear.
Yeah, no problem.
Thanks.
You wanna do a line?
Tonight's been crazy and I'm
ready to blow my brains out.
All right.
I mean we have to do it quick,
'cause I need to be somewhere soon.
Yeah.
After you.
Okay.
Thanks.
Went down the wrong tube.
What the hell?
It tastes like sugar.
Ow!
Ouchy!
Hey, you're that fake
cop who took my money.
Where's my fucking money?
Plan B, Fer, plan B.
You idiot!
There's no plan B!
You're in on this too, Siggy?
Put the headphones on, bitch!
I'm not putting on
no fucking headphones!
Yes you are!
Bitch!
Oh!
Ow, shit.
Ow!
Shit, that hurt.
Wake up!
Your friends are going to die!
Now wake up!
Wake up!
Well, it's not every day
that two perfectly good sacrifices
walk right into my house.
It was meant to be.
And I can't wait to kill you, Siggy.
Oh shit!
Fuck.
I'll be right there, Ted.
Shut up!
Fuck.
Come on.
Andy!
Andy!
Hey.
Hey, Ted what are you doing here?
I came by to say hello, Merry Christmas.
How are ya?
That's great.
Right now's not a good time, so.
I can, can I just use
your bathroom real quick?
I mean it'll just take a minute.
- Uh.
- I had some paella,
or something's gone right
through me, seriously.
Wow.
Okay.
This is weird.
Your place.
It's Christmas time, no decorations up.
There's no tree, there's
no lights, nothing?
I don't celebrate Christmas.
How can you not celebrate Christmas?
'Cause I don't.
I'm busy.
Yeah, I can see you're busy.
Got quite a little party
going on here for yourself.
Ted, what are you doing here?
Wow,
is that bad cocaine.
Ted, please, just.
Why?
Why am I here?
Uh-huh.
What?
I'm here because I want
you to know something,
and that is that people care about you.
Ted, why are you here?
I want my money.
- Oh.
- No.
Hang on a second.
Those residuals are
something that, I'm coming.
We talked, this is shit.
We've talked about this.
I called you three times yesterday.
You don't return phone calls.
Where are you guys?
You want some wine?
Uh, yeah.
Yeah, wine's good.
You know, white, I'm not picky.
White, red.
- What the?
- Shit!
Get the, back off!
Back off!
Fuck.
What the fuck are you doing, Ted?
I thought you could use
this to open the wine.
- Back off!
- Hey!
You're crazy, you know that?
Andy, what are you doing here?
Oh now you don't want me here?
What time is it?
It's 11:45.
All right, I've got a plan,
but we're gonna have to improvise.
That's not a knife.
This is a knife.
Now let's just put them down, okay?
You're right, this is stupid.
Let's put them down.
Okay.
Ha!
Ah!
Let's put them down.
Just calm down.
Trust, okay?
What the hell were you doing, Ted?
It doesn't matter.
You wouldn't understand.
Try me.
It was part of a initiation, okay?
For the Population?
Yeah.
I was doing that, too.
What?
Oh God damn it, Ted!
I can't believe this.
I only did it 'cause I thought
it would help my career.
What career?
Okay.
You're hearing it first.
I'm getting back into acting.
Acting?
Yeah.
You were a stand in like one time.
What's your story, okay?
If you applied yourself,
you might actually turn into a star.
I have done everything I can.
I'm hitting a ceiling here.
Oh, so your big plan is Killing me?
That's gonna take you to the next level?
Yeah.
Wow.
Wow.
Man.
You know, on one hand I'm
very, I'm very proud of you.
What?
You took initiative,
you know what I mean?
You took matters into your own hands.
That's the kinda thing
that's gonna make you be a star, baby!
Okay.
Okay.
Well, you know what?
We're running out of time
because something just fell
into my lap this evening
that could benefit the both of us.
Really?
Uh-huh.
Shit, where did they go?
Hello, my name is Louis.
I'm a representative of the Population.
I'm here to inform you that we've had
an unusually high amount
of applicants this year,
don't ya know?
Unfortunately we won't be accepting
any more submissions at this time, ya?
Okay, Merry Christmas or
Feliz Navidad, or whatever.
Okay, okay okay okay.
Oh God.
What are we gonna do with just one?
I don't know, but we gotta hurry.
Oh!
Ow.
Well I guess he's gonna have to do.
That's one, who am I gonna kill?
Nobody move!
Mars cop, get off my cousin right now
or I'll blast your fucking ass!
That's it, let's go.
Okay, he was there the whole time.
I got an idea.
Let's take this party
into the garage, okay?
- I'll put my gun down.
- Let's go.
- Okay!
- I'm putting my gun down.
Open the god damn door.
It's a finger gun not a boner.
It's locked, it's locked.
That is sharp.
Okay okay okay okay.
Go!
We gotta go, come on, let's do this.
Don't do this, please.
Just shut up.
All right, let's get it over with.
This one's mine.
I got the big guy.
This is fucking, this is crazy!
But it feels good.
It feels fucking good!
Ah!
I think you got her, okay?
Yeah she's, she's dead.
Cousin Andy?
What a mess.
It's fucking gross.
So uh,
is someone supposed to greet us, or?
I have no idea, but
I'll tell you one thing,
this better count.
Looks like this is it, Uncle Jay.
Hold on, Jackson.
Jay.
Do you trust me?
Yeah.
Never leave family behind.
Come with me.
Okay.
Go home, Andy.
Go home!
Go home!
Go!
What happened?
Did I pass out?
What?
Drive, Fer!
What about Ted?
Fuck Ted.
Shit, where did they go?
I need a drink.
Ditto.
I'll be on the couch.
Hello?
Jay?
You there?
Hello, Jay?
Hey, hey hey!
Hey hey, I'm here, I'm here.
Can you hear me?
Dad, yeah.
Can you hear me?
Yeah, I can hear you, I can hear you.
Are you okay?
I'm fine.
I miss you.
I miss you too, dad.
I can't stay.
You need to move on with your life.
Yeah, I know.
I know.
I'm always with you.
You have a gift, Jay.
Learn it, hone it, and most
importantly, use it wisely.
And whatever you do, stay
away from.
Huh?
Dad?
Say that again.
Hello dad?
Dad?
What was that?
Christmas present.
Thank you.
Looks good, Jay.
Thanks.
Mm, here.
Thank you.
Welcome.
Does that hurt?
Yeah, it's kinda tender.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Makes you look tough, I like it.
You are tough.
You're tough but it makes you look,
makes you look tough.
Thanks.
Oh.
Sorry.
That's okay.
You know you guys, I was thinking,
there's like a real market
for what we're doing out there, you know?
I think that we could, if
we put our heads together,
lay some ground rules down,
we could really, we could
really change history.
Like not even a joke.
Andy.
I think it's time we all
start living in the present.
Stop living in the past.
What do you guys say?
That sounds good.
Hey, you know what?
Merry Christmas.
- Merry Christmas.
- Merry Christmas, y'all.
Where's Jackson?
Jackson?
Don't worry, Uncle Jay,
I'm just whipping up some popcorn soup.
- No!
- No!
No no no no!
Not my house too, Jackson!
No no no no!
I like to put
the whole bag of popcorn
in the oil, Uncle Jay.
No!
What the hell is popcorn soup?
Put that pan down.
Put it down.
I've almost got it in.
- Unplug it!
- Now.
- Unplug it.
- I just gotta,
I just gotta add this
water to the boiling oil.
Do you wanna see how long
that I can keep my eyes open
I can keep them open all week
Okay, I don't know
if this is gonna work.
Oh Alison,
baby girl, if you're there give me a sign.
I just,
big daddy misses you and I,
I just kinda wanna hear your voice again.
'Cause I wanna say I'm sorry.
For not being the best big daddy for,
for my Alison and I,
I just need to hear your
voice one more time, please.
Oh my God.
I think I hear you.
She went through my soul!
Oh my God.
You were astral
projecting last night, right?
Yeah.
Don't you think
it's kind of strange
that you started getting your abilities
around the time that I was killed?
I think our path's were
supposed to cross, man.
I mean I'm stuck in this
plane, but, you're not.
If you can somehow astral
project back in time
and stop me from going to Maeve's,
you can bring me back, man.
I can astral project back in time?
You are an astral traveler, okay?
With your abilities,
you can defy the laws of time and space.
You can travel to different
dimensions if you wanted to.
Jay.
Dad?
You're all grown up.
Yeah.
There's something you should know,
and I don't have much time, all right.
Don't astral project anymore.
Word got out, about
what you did last night.
And it's creating a
stir on the other side.
Do you trust me?
Yeah.
Come with me.
Okay.
What are you doing up, Jackson?
What is this?
Hello?
Jackson?
Jay, I told you not to
astral project anymore.
Why didn't you listen?
They're trying to reach you.
Don't let them in, Jay.
Don't let them in!
You okay, Uncle Jay?
Yeah, yeah.
Weird dream.
You sure?
Yeah.
- Okay.
- Yeah.
And I hate
to give you bad news over breakfast,
but autopsy reports confirm
that "Mars Cop" actress, Aura Garcia,
died of an overdose of
the popular street drug
known as party favors,
last week in her Los Angeles home.
Police are on the lookout for
a drug dealer known as Siggy,
in connection with her death.
The mysterious drug lord had been using
Mandao cereal boxes to transport the drug.
At this time, we have
no official statement
from the Mandao cereal corporation.
Coming up next, strippers
against global warming.
It's a shame what that menace
is doing to Mandao's name, Uncle Jay.
Uh-huh.
All right.
Y'all are gonna make
yourselves useful tonight.
I have a very important
client coming over.
Did you open this?
Aura Garcia's manager.
After your little Halloween stunt,
I decided to have a
holiday special of my own.
5% sale on all psychic services.
Contacting the dead's been my biggest hit.
Well, right after pet telepathy.
This guy, Ted Williams,
has been hitting me up
ever since Aura died,
and he's paying big bucks.
So, tonight we are making
contact with Aura Garcia.
You're a charlatan, Andy.
You never cease.
You never cease.
I'm making money, Jay.
What are you guys doing?
I'm a janitor, cousin Andy, all right.
You know that.
Okay, well getting fired after two days
does not equal a career, Jackson.
And I'm not your cousin.
Until you guys can afford to pay rent,
you both work for me.
And take a shower, Jay!
You believe the nerve
of that guy, Uncle Jay?
Move.
You still mad at me?
Hey, I'm looking for a
job, Uncle Jay, all right?
When I get it I'm gonna
pay you back, I promise.
Yeah, you burnt down my apartment.
It's popcorn soup, Uncle Jay.
It's volatile, but god, it's delicious.
Mm-hm.
Sometimes I just wanna.
I, I wanna.
Come on, I need your help in the garage.
Wow.
This thing looks great, Uncle Jay.
What is it?
It's called a spirit box.
It's for talking to the other side.
That's cool.
Have you had any luck with it, or?
Not yet.
But today might be the day.
Whoa.
Wish me luck.
Hello?
Is anybody here?
I'm trying to reach Raymond Mandao.
Dad, if you're here, speak into the radio.
Dad!
Dad?
It's me.
Sorry.
Damn it.
Why can't you just astral
project and find your dad?
I keep having these dreams where,
he tells me not to.
This is stupid, he's dead.
Aw, come on Uncle Jay.
Look, I'm turning it off.
Okay, now remember,
it's all about atmosphere.
We really want Mr Williams to feel
like he's having an authentic experience.
You're choking me.
You're choking me, Andy.
There's more where that came from
if you fuck this up, popcorn boy.
All right, Jay,
now I know that you don't
astral project anymore,
but I think...
No, you know what?
It's fine, I'm in.
What do you need me to do?
Oh, okay good.
I need you to be my all seeing eye.
What the hell does that mean?
I need you to help me
make Mr Williams think
that I can see things that
I shouldn't be able to see.
Oh, like how many
fingers you're holding up.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And some other things too, okay?
All right, but I'm not
taking sleep mix again, okay?
That stuff messes with my brain.
You don't have to.
I've got something better.
This is a special binaural beat.
It'll have you in astral form in seconds.
Here, put this on and lay down.
Okay.
Okay, get comfy.
Give me your phone.
Give me your phone, give me your phone.
Thank you.
Okay Jay, don't be alarmed.
I'm about to call you.
Answer his phone.
Okay.
Testing, testing.
Say something, Jay.
Hey, hey can you hear me?
Yes, yes!
It's working.
It works!
I know, I...
No, I mean it's working!
Show time.
Jackson, go get the door.
Jay, meet me in the living room.
Welcome to the house of Tarot.
Can I take your coat?
I'm not wearing a coat.
Would you like a coat?
No, I don't want a coat.
Sweater?
What's with your outfit?
Uh.
You look like a homeless bellhop.
Andy.
I'll take it from here.
Go lay down.
Hi Mr Williams.
Thanks so much for coming.
It's nice to meet you.
Come on in.
You're Andy, huh?
Yes, that's me.
What's up with the perv?
Um, he belongs to my cousin.
Take a seat.
Take a seat.
Man.
Looks like Alec Baldwin's
angry stunt double.
Now Ted, I know things
might seem strange at first,
but I want you to know
that you've reached out
to the right person.
But don't take my word for it.
Okay.
Allow me to demonstrate my power.
I will now guess how many
fingers you're holding up.
Okay, hang on a second.
Could you just get Aura, okay?
I didn't come here for
a little magic show.
This is real.
I, I don't have a lot of time.
It's cool though, just try.
It's not cool.
Your turban's too tight.
Just get Aura on the phone.
Okay, just try.
How many fingers am I holding up now?
He's flicking you off.
You're flicking me.
Okay, all right.
Skip the foreplay, let's just get started.
Hang on a second, I'm sorry.
Who is it?
Someone named Philip.
Does Philip know that he's interrupting
a very important session right now?
No.
It's really important to me
that I speak to Aura, okay?
'Cause I let her down.
I wasn't there for her when she needed me.
The one time she needed me.
I wasn't there.
I want her to know I'm sorry.
It's also, the matter of
unpaid residuals, you know?
I mean "Mars Cop" was very big
and I didn't get my mailbox money.
So, if you could just get her
to give you some information
in terms of where my
residuals are, that'd be huge.
When was the last
time you were with Aura?
It's, it's been a while, okay?
I'm not gonna lie to you.
We've had a falling out.
Well, Ted, that's all about to change.
What?
What in the hell is that?
This is a spirit box.
Hey!
Hey, what are you doing?
Andy.
What are you doing?
We call upon the spirit of Aura Garcia.
Close your eyes.
Concentrate on Aura.
Aura, Aura Garcia.
- It doesn't work, dude.
- Aura.
Dude, it doesn't work.
Aura Garcia.
Hello?
It do...
Teddy?
Yes, yes, Aura.
If that's you honey,
give us an indication.
My god, Aura.
Teddy?
Teddy?
Teddy is that you?
She's never called me Teddy in her life.
Well, maybe she does now.
Aura, Teddy would like
you to call him Ted.
Yeah, since that's what you've called me
the entire time that you've known me.
That'd be great.
Hi Ted.
You shitting me?
It's beautiful here.
I just got done tanning.
You don't have to worry
about skin cancer up here.
Isn't that beautiful?
Jay.
Get me outta here.
Hold on, Uncle Jay.
Are you all right?
Oh, my back!
Um.
Seems like there's some
extra spirits in the room.
Uh, no, um.
What is this?
It's a conduit.
I think there's a lot of
extra spirits in the room
and we're just kinda hearing.
My ass, this is a walkie talkie
that you put inside your spirit box.
- No no no!
- To make it sound
like you were getting Aura.
No, they're from another plane.
You're a fraud!
I swear.
Shut up!
Hello?
Hello, spirit, come in.
Mr Williams.
Spirit, I'm here.
Please, they're just...
I told you to shut the fuck up!
Hello?
Wherever you are, come out.
Be quiet Uncle Jay, you're
ruining the atmosphere.
You're ruining -
- My life!
Sons a bitches.
I knew you were up here!
Get the fuck up.
Ow, God damn it.
Ah, Christ.
If I pulled another disc, so help me god,
I'm gonna kick your asses.
The fuck outta the way!
You okay, Uncle Jay?
I think I was hallucinating.
Sorry Uncle Jay.
Get this fucking thing outta here.
Sorry.
You want a ham and PB&J?
No thanks, no.
You sure?
Yeah, thank you.
All right, suit yourself.
Damn.
This pack must have gone bad.
Yeah, it expired in 2016.
See those bold letters.
Don't eat that.
This is pathetic.
We gotta get outta here, man.
Hey, don't worry, Uncle Jay,
I'm talking to my old boss, all right?
I'm pretty sure he's gonna take me back
and when he does, I know he
could use a guy like you.
My life is pointless.
What do you mean?
I've been trying to reach my dad.
And I realized something.
Why would he want to see me?
I'm a loser.
I haven't done anything with my life.
I have no purpose.
Oh come on, Uncle Jay,
you know that's not true.
What about astral projection?
I mean you saved our butts last Halloween.
I really think there's a lot of folks
you could help out with those abilities.
Heck, I'd like to help
out right along with ya.
We're family, Uncle Jay.
We got that.
We got it all.
You burnt down my apartment, Jackson!
I said I'm sorry, all right.
Can we drop it?
Hello?
Hello?
Is someone here?
Is this the entity from earlier today?
Can you hear me?
Oh my God, this works.
What's your name?
I need your help!
Hey, where are you going?
Keep talking to it.
Uh, all right, um.
Are you human?
Yes.
Mm, you sound like a
lady, are you single?
Oh please,
like you have a higher
chance with a ghost.
Oh no.
Binaural track.
What are you doing, Uncle Jay?
I'm going under.
I, I don't think you should.
I mean what if it's a bad spirit?
If I don't wake up in five minutes,
do it for me, all right?
I don't know.
Jackson, what if this
entity needs my help?
Okay, give them too me.
All right.
All right, Uncle Jay, just be careful.
I got this.
Okay.
Hello?
My name is Jay Mandao.
I come with peaceful intentions.
Hey Jay.
Hey.
You're that actress.
Yup, that's me, but don't
ask for a selfie, okay?
I can't do that over here.
Oh, I, I wouldn't I.
Selfie's are stupid, so.
You know, I've heard about you.
You heard of me?
Yeah, a lot of people on the other side
really want to meet you.
They want to meet me, really?
Mm-hm.
Wow.
Wow, I'm a big fan of yours too, actually.
Really?
Yes.
What's your favorite
thing that I've done?
God, this is, what an opportunity.
Uh, uh.
Yeah, oh.
I can't think of anything right now,
but I'll tell you something, it, it was,
I like uh,
I don't know what it was called.
Glad I made an impact.
Listen, I need your help.
With what?
I know everyone thinks that
they died before their time,
but if anyone's life was
cut short, it was mine.
You know what I mean?
So, I need your help.
Hey!
Don't say another word, Jay.
How long were you waiting there, man?
Long enough.
I don't like business transactions
going on behind my back.
Oh my God, it's really you!
Aura, I'm a huge fan.
I've seen "Mars Cop" like 20 times.
I have like two copies.
One at home and one for on the go.
And one was mine, you borrowed it.
I'm sure.
Uh, you know, I saw what you
guys did with my manager Ted.
No no, it's fine.
I really don't want to
talk to that guy again.
He sucked.
Ruined my life.
Oh, thank God.
I mean, that's tragic.
Sad.
But he is terrible.
So is it true about what
you did last Halloween?
Where you went back in time
and prevented someone from dying?
Well, uh.
Uh, wait a minute, just a minute.
Now, we're both pro spirit and everything,
but you know, the living
still have to make a living.
You know what I mean?
Okay, I'd pay you,
but they don't have banks over here, dude.
Well, were you broke when you died?
No.
Okay, well did you leave
money around the house anywhere?
Yeah, in my room there's a lock box
with like $5,000 in cash.
Um, that'll do.
I mean, a little cheap for a
death reversal, but that'll do.
Time of death?
Thursday around 11:30 PM.
And is there a lock box key, code?
No, it's just like this book.
I think, "Treasure Island."
Okay.
Great.
Here are the terms.
We prevent you from dying.
In exchange, we get the
money in the lock box.
When we wake up, we will
look up your address
and go from there, won't we?
Yeah.
Stop saying we, you sound
like a French whore.
Aura.
Deal?
Deal.
Listen, Aura.
My father's name is Raymond Mandao.
He's on the other side.
If you could help me
get in contact with him,
I would really appreciate that.
Okay, I'll see what I can do.
Okay, well do you want
to exchange information?
Information, that's stupid.
We're back in the game, cuz.
Andy.
How is it supposed to work?
When I'm in astral form, I
can't, I can't touch anything.
Just let me take care
of the details, okay?
Let's get to work.
What is that?
What?
Calm down.
Keep it together.
Why are you sneaking up on me like that?
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Jay.
Christmas came early
this year, baby cousin.
My God, you.
Did it, did everything work out?
Everything worked?
Yeah, perfectly.
Andy.
We're gonna be rich!
Hey Fer.
Hey.
What's all this?
Little Christmas cheer.
Aren't you going a
little crazy here, Jay?
I don't think so, I don't think so.
Why is he still asleep?
He's fine.
The more he sleeps, the
more I save on food.
Yeah, I gotta go.
Hey, thanks for the ride.
No problem.
Also, here's a little tip.
Uh, I'm not gonna tickle
your pickle, you know?
Oh, then give it back.
Here.
I'm just kidding.
I can't, I can't take it.
I really can't.
Yes you can.
Hey, the boys and I are
gonna celebrate Christmas,
we'd love to have you.
Um, I can't.
I gotta go 'cause I, I'm
thinking of moving, you know?
Um, you ever think about moving?
All the time.
Listen up radiomites,
the next caller gets an exclusive pass
to our Aura Garcia memorial event
happening tonight at 7:00 PM.
Rest in peace, Aura, we love you.
This is DJ Miguel and you're
listening to,.
I, I don't know!
I don't know what happened, Uncle Jay.
Stay where you are.
I'm calling the cops.
That's a good idea, Uncle Jay.
What happened, Jackson?
I don't, I don't know.
I, I must have done this
in my sleep, Uncle Jay.
Give me the knife.
Give me the knife.
Get up.
Get up!
Move it!
I said move.
Shit.
I'm no good, Uncle Jay.
They're gonna give me the chair.
Yeah, they probably will.
- Really?
- Yes.
Does it hurt?
A lot, Jackson.
Hold on, hold on.
No!
Calm down.
No.
I gotta think.
You're doing the right thing, Uncle Jay.
Boys in blue will take it from here.
Time to ride the lightening.
All right.
I'll go back 20 minutes.
20 minutes.
I knew something wasn't right.
I never should have
let you guys live here.
Jackson didn't kill you, Andy,
he was being controlled by Aura.
What, she was here?
Yeah she was here.
I guess she's still a little dead, huh?
What do you want from me, Jay?
I've got my own problems right now, okay.
I'm really dead, man.
Oh my God.
I was gonna lose the house.
I needed that money.
My dad's gonna be so mad.
It's okay, it's okay, man.
Last night,
I got a little ambitious.
When you went under,
I gave you some sleep mix.
Let me guess, it was expired.
The whole batch man.
I stopped making that crap.
You're a dicksuit.
Anyway, once you took us back
to the night of Aura's death,
I sent you back to the present.
How did you do that?
I set an alarm on your phone
so that you'd be pushed
back to the present
while the sleep mix kept you sedated.
You slept like a baby.
What the hell!
Andy.
I'm sorry.
I, needed you.
I needed you to get me to the past.
I can't do that by myself, okay?
I tried.
Several times.
You're the only person I
know who can actually do it
and it pisses me off!
I'm sorry Jay, but
seriously it pisses me off!
I'm the only one you know who can do it?
Don't rub it in.
Okay, what happened next?
I possessed Jackson.
After that it was a
pretty simple operation.
I found out where Aura lives.
I broke in.
I got the money.
I stashed the money in the garage.
And when I woke up it was still there.
And you tried to stop
her from overdosing, right?
I might have been a little late.
Oh, you fucked us!
You fucked us north!
You fucked us south!
I'm sorry!
You fucked us!
I got a little greedy, okay.
A little greedy.
Well we need to fix this.
We need to fix this right now!
Yeah, okay, yes.
We can, we can fix this.
You just have to go back to last week
and make sure she lives.
Okay, I'll do that.
Shut up.
Shut up.
Looks like I finally got
what I deserve, Uncle Jay.
You're not dead,
you're astral projecting.
Awesome!
Oh, cousin Andy's alive too, huh?
No, he's dead.
Oh.
You were possessed by a ghost, Jackson.
The actress?
I mean, why would she do that?
We don't know, we don't know.
That's what we're trying to figure out.
We need your help, buddy.
You got it, Uncle Jay.
Okay.
You guys need to go back to last Thursday,
then y'all need to possess each other.
Oh, I don't know, cousin
Andy, it sounds evil.
No no no!
It's the easiest way, Jackson.
Otherwise we're stuck
communicating with radios
and that can be spotty.
All right.
All right, how do we do this?
Okay, it's actually pretty simple.
Instead of astral projecting to a place,
you astral project into a person.
As long as both bodies are sleeping,
you should be able to just
kind of merge with them.
Ew, yucky.
It's really easy.
It's like jumping in the driver's seat.
It's just like stealing a car.
Sounds illegal, cousin Andy.
Then it's just like
renting a car, Jackson.
Whatever.
We go back in time, last
Thursday, 11:00 P, 11:00 PM.
Whoa, how's it do that?
It's always fun when it -
Let's go.
Guys.
Okay, we'll be back, Andy.
Thank you.
Here goes nothing.
Copy that.
I'm getting blisters on my feet.
Where's Fer when you need her?
Geez, Uncle Jay, you
got some hairy legs.
Yeah, Jackson?
You're in cuddles with
a cop uniform, okay?
She's never gonna believe this.
This is from a few
Halloween's ago, okay?
We had to improvise.
Yeah, you're a dicksuit.
What's the plan?
Put it away, Jackson,
before I take it away.
Come on, let's go.
Turn it off, Jackson.
Would you just, would
you, just stand there.
Just stand there.
Police, open up!
Shit!
Jackson, put it away.
Jackson, put it away.
Put it in your God damned pocket, Jackson.
Ma'am, we got a call
about a possible
disturbance on the premises.
Get on the ground, now!
Oh my God.
Hey, you can't do this!
I have rights!
Oh, you want rights?
You want rights?
You can't have any rights!
Am I right, Uncle Jay?
Calm down, Jackson.
Sorry bout that, sorry.
Sorry, ma'am.
What the hell?
Why are you wearing cutoffs?
Miss Garcia, we know
you have the drugs, okay?
So you might as well just hand them over.
Either that or we're gonna
take you down to the station,
so it's your choice.
I'm not doing anything until
I speak to my lawyer, pig!
That's it, you earned this.
What is with you?
Sorry about that, Uncle Jay.
Sometimes I just get, amped!
Yeah.
Yeah, I guess you do, huh?
Geez, these are pretty tight.
Yeah, I gained a little
weight, Jackson, okay?
You insisted on wearing 'em.
Sorry about that, Uncle Jay.
Yeah yeah.
What's next?
Hey, hey, help me find.
Pay attention.
Help me find the drugs, okay?
All right, let's do this.
Yeah, let's go.
Wow, nice tapestry.
Good craftsmanship.
Oh wow, "Mars Cop."
This cop is about to see red.
God, everybody's seen that movie.
Oh, it's a great one, Uncle Jay.
Would you get that light
outta my face, Jackson?
Help me find the drugs.
Okay.
Hey bring that light over here, Jackson.
Oh, there it is.
Nice work!
Come on, let's go!
Fer!
Why was Fer here, Uncle Jay?
I don't know.
Come on.
Would you just back up?
We gotta start workin' out, Jackson.
Yeah we do, Uncle Jay.
I just got myself a gym
membership recently.
You did what?
Got a gym membership.
On my dime?
Hey, you can be a guest.
Jack, would you get that
light outta my face, Jackson.
It was a one click trick.
What's that?
That's payment.
Come on, let's get outta here.
Andy!
What?
Okay.
You're alive.
You're alive.
You okay, Jackson?
No.
No, I'm not Uncle Jay, I had
this bad dream last night.
I dreamt that we were,
we were at Aura's house
and we were all dying.
And there was, there was
somebody else there, too,
but I can't, I can't remember.
Ted?
Who's Ted?
Okay I, I think it's time
I filled you guys in on everything.
- Wow.
- Wow.
You weren't kidding?
No.
I can't believe you were
inside me, cousin Andy.
Me neither.
And I'm not your cousin.
I think I know why Fer
was there that night.
Aw, cool.
Don't.
Ay!
Ow!
- Stop it.
- Let me see it.
Stop!
Hey!
Care to explain this, Fer?
Or should I call you Siggy?
What the hell are you talking about?
You know, this really isn't
a good look for you, Jay.
Look, I'm not Siggy,
I'm his successor, okay?
Okay.
Not so fast.
All right!
I used to drive the real
Siggy to his client's houses.
And then one night,
after a few deliveries,
I looked in the back of
my car and he was gone.
Oh my God!
So what happened?
Did he go get a pack of
smokes, or something?
He OD'd on his product.
Oh.
But he left behind a shit load of drugs.
Look, I'm tired of being
a Bum Ride driver, okay?
So I saw an opportunity
and I took it, okay?
So shut up.
What'd you do with the body?
Yeah, what did you do with the body?
I left it on his porch
with a bag of party favors.
Okay, look, what was I supposed to do?
Give the drug dealer a proper burial?
Come on.
Well, this was a nice touch.
I'm sorry about that, Jay.
I actually am sorry about that.
But you have to admit that
was good branding, right?
Look, when I became Siggy,
it felt good.
But I'm done with all that.
I haven't answered her calls
since last week, so I'm out.
Hey Uncle Jay, why do you
think we had the same dream?
Maybe it was a shared premonition.
And if it was, we could all be in danger.
Along with Aura's manager.
Ted?
What?
Last time I was at her house,
she was telling me about this
club called the Population.
It's this cult where
they initiate new members
by making them do rituals and stuff.
I have been busting my ass
for so long and it's like,
I never have, I never
have any fucking money.
Why?
But things are about to change, Siggy.
Wanna know a secret?
I guess.
I think I'm about to make it big.
Like, really big.
Good for you.
Shit.
You know, fuck man.
Hollywood is a sick place,
and you would know that, look at you.
You don't get to the top
unless you sacrifice.
And I really mean that.
You have to sacrifice someone.
These actors in the $20 million club,
they didn't get to where they are
without having sacrificed something.
Someone.
I think you're taking
that too literally.
No I'm not.
Have you ever heard of the Population?
Is that a band?
It's a club.
All these celebrities, all these
A listers are a part of it.
It's like I can't even name people.
But you know them, okay?
And on Christmas Eve, at
midnight, it's gonna be official.
I'm gonna be one of them.
I am ready to sacrifice.
Cool.
And I cannot think of
anyone more deserving
than my manager Ted, he's perfect.
The little piece of shit.
You wanna know what he said to me?
This, I can't believe it, he said,
"You're worth more dead than alive."
And with posthumous CGI
and record sales and shit.
You sing?
No, I suck.
He's just a sociopath.
Police, open up!
Oh shit!
Then the cops showed up
and I booked it outta there.
I thought she was just stoned.
So that's it.
Aura's gonna try to kill her manager
tonight before midnight.
Okay, stop, stop.
Everyone, we fixed this, all right?
Can we just move on?
We fixed everything, all right?
What do you mean you fixed everything?
Fer, I'm an astral traveler.
So is Andy.
And Jackson too I guess, I don't know.
Point is, we traveled back in time,
we messed some stuff up
but we fixed it, okay?
Jackson and I possessed each other.
We were the cops that night.
That's how we knew you were there, okay?
That's what happened.
I've heard weirder things.
You guys, maybe Jay's right.
I mean, we're up five
grand, no one is dead.
Maybe we should just leave it alone.
Now wait just a minute, cousin Andy.
We shared a dream that
something bad was gonna happen.
Uncle Jay, that means something.
What's the matter with you guys, huh?
You got your money, and
that's all that matters?
For all we know,
an innocent man is gonna
meet his maker tonight.
And we can stop it.
Uncle Jay, you wanna know
what your purpose is?
This is it?
You're right, Jackson.
Yeah.
Ted's a prick, but he's innocent.
We could really use all
the help we can get.
Yes.
Come on, cousin Andy.
Mandao boys, right?
I'm out.
Oh, come on cousin Andy!
No, you come on, Jackson.
I just got my life back.
I'm not trying to lose it again!
Cousin Andy.
I'm not your cousin.
Well.
Let's go over it again.
Fer contacts Aura to
sell some party favors.
But instead of the real
thing, it's powdered candy.
Right.
After she inhales it,
Jackson employs the viper hand
and she's out like a light.
Then Jackson puts headphones on her
and plays the binaural track.
When she's in the astral realm,
she'll think she's dead and I'll be there
to make sure she doesn't wake up too soon.
Then we book it out of there.
When her alarm clock goes off,
it'll be past midnight.
There won't be a need to kill Ted,
and she'll be so happy she's alive
she'll never do drugs again.
Mission accomplished.
That's a great plan, Uncle Jay.
Thank you.
Yeah, that sounds like a
real half baked plan, Jay.
Oh, it's a half baked plan for,
what was your plan again?
Shut up.
It's a good plan, Jay, it'll work.
Thank you.
All right.
All right, father fuckers, let's go.
Greetings to you Population hopeful.
By midnight tonight,
we will see if you have
what it takes to join us.
If you are unable to complete
your initiation task,
you will be irrevocably banned
from joining the Population.
Any attempt to alert the
authorities of our operations
will result in severe consequences.
Remember, we know all your secrets.
There is no need to send
proof of your sacrifice.
We know where you are
and we will be watching.
Shit.
You guys ready?
- Yeah.
- I think so.
All right, be careful.
You too, Jay.
You ready?
Let's boogie.
All right.
Get in here.
Siggy, do you mind if I owe you?
I was robbed last week and I mean,
I'll pay you back in a
couple days, I swear.
Yeah, no problem.
Thanks.
You wanna do a line?
Tonight's been crazy and I'm
ready to blow my brains out.
All right.
I mean we have to do it quick,
'cause I need to be somewhere soon.
Yeah.
After you.
Okay.
Thanks.
Went down the wrong tube.
What the hell?
It tastes like sugar.
Ow!
Ouchy!
Hey, you're that fake
cop who took my money.
Where's my fucking money?
Plan B, Fer, plan B.
You idiot!
There's no plan B!
You're in on this too, Siggy?
Put the headphones on, bitch!
I'm not putting on
no fucking headphones!
Yes you are!
Bitch!
Oh!
Ow, shit.
Ow!
Shit, that hurt.
Wake up!
Your friends are going to die!
Now wake up!
Wake up!
Well, it's not every day
that two perfectly good sacrifices
walk right into my house.
It was meant to be.
And I can't wait to kill you, Siggy.
Oh shit!
Fuck.
I'll be right there, Ted.
Shut up!
Fuck.
Come on.
Andy!
Andy!
Hey.
Hey, Ted what are you doing here?
I came by to say hello, Merry Christmas.
How are ya?
That's great.
Right now's not a good time, so.
I can, can I just use
your bathroom real quick?
I mean it'll just take a minute.
- Uh.
- I had some paella,
or something's gone right
through me, seriously.
Wow.
Okay.
This is weird.
Your place.
It's Christmas time, no decorations up.
There's no tree, there's
no lights, nothing?
I don't celebrate Christmas.
How can you not celebrate Christmas?
'Cause I don't.
I'm busy.
Yeah, I can see you're busy.
Got quite a little party
going on here for yourself.
Ted, what are you doing here?
Wow,
is that bad cocaine.
Ted, please, just.
Why?
Why am I here?
Uh-huh.
What?
I'm here because I want
you to know something,
and that is that people care about you.
Ted, why are you here?
I want my money.
- Oh.
- No.
Hang on a second.
Those residuals are
something that, I'm coming.
We talked, this is shit.
We've talked about this.
I called you three times yesterday.
You don't return phone calls.
Where are you guys?
You want some wine?
Uh, yeah.
Yeah, wine's good.
You know, white, I'm not picky.
White, red.
- What the?
- Shit!
Get the, back off!
Back off!
Fuck.
What the fuck are you doing, Ted?
I thought you could use
this to open the wine.
- Back off!
- Hey!
You're crazy, you know that?
Andy, what are you doing here?
Oh now you don't want me here?
What time is it?
It's 11:45.
All right, I've got a plan,
but we're gonna have to improvise.
That's not a knife.
This is a knife.
Now let's just put them down, okay?
You're right, this is stupid.
Let's put them down.
Okay.
Ha!
Ah!
Let's put them down.
Just calm down.
Trust, okay?
What the hell were you doing, Ted?
It doesn't matter.
You wouldn't understand.
Try me.
It was part of a initiation, okay?
For the Population?
Yeah.
I was doing that, too.
What?
Oh God damn it, Ted!
I can't believe this.
I only did it 'cause I thought
it would help my career.
What career?
Okay.
You're hearing it first.
I'm getting back into acting.
Acting?
Yeah.
You were a stand in like one time.
What's your story, okay?
If you applied yourself,
you might actually turn into a star.
I have done everything I can.
I'm hitting a ceiling here.
Oh, so your big plan is Killing me?
That's gonna take you to the next level?
Yeah.
Wow.
Wow.
Man.
You know, on one hand I'm
very, I'm very proud of you.
What?
You took initiative,
you know what I mean?
You took matters into your own hands.
That's the kinda thing
that's gonna make you be a star, baby!
Okay.
Okay.
Well, you know what?
We're running out of time
because something just fell
into my lap this evening
that could benefit the both of us.
Really?
Uh-huh.
Shit, where did they go?
Hello, my name is Louis.
I'm a representative of the Population.
I'm here to inform you that we've had
an unusually high amount
of applicants this year,
don't ya know?
Unfortunately we won't be accepting
any more submissions at this time, ya?
Okay, Merry Christmas or
Feliz Navidad, or whatever.
Okay, okay okay okay.
Oh God.
What are we gonna do with just one?
I don't know, but we gotta hurry.
Oh!
Ow.
Well I guess he's gonna have to do.
That's one, who am I gonna kill?
Nobody move!
Mars cop, get off my cousin right now
or I'll blast your fucking ass!
That's it, let's go.
Okay, he was there the whole time.
I got an idea.
Let's take this party
into the garage, okay?
- I'll put my gun down.
- Let's go.
- Okay!
- I'm putting my gun down.
Open the god damn door.
It's a finger gun not a boner.
It's locked, it's locked.
That is sharp.
Okay okay okay okay.
Go!
We gotta go, come on, let's do this.
Don't do this, please.
Just shut up.
All right, let's get it over with.
This one's mine.
I got the big guy.
This is fucking, this is crazy!
But it feels good.
It feels fucking good!
Ah!
I think you got her, okay?
Yeah she's, she's dead.
Cousin Andy?
What a mess.
It's fucking gross.
So uh,
is someone supposed to greet us, or?
I have no idea, but
I'll tell you one thing,
this better count.
Looks like this is it, Uncle Jay.
Hold on, Jackson.
Jay.
Do you trust me?
Yeah.
Never leave family behind.
Come with me.
Okay.
Go home, Andy.
Go home!
Go home!
Go!
What happened?
Did I pass out?
What?
Drive, Fer!
What about Ted?
Fuck Ted.
Shit, where did they go?
I need a drink.
Ditto.
I'll be on the couch.
Hello?
Jay?
You there?
Hello, Jay?
Hey, hey hey!
Hey hey, I'm here, I'm here.
Can you hear me?
Dad, yeah.
Can you hear me?
Yeah, I can hear you, I can hear you.
Are you okay?
I'm fine.
I miss you.
I miss you too, dad.
I can't stay.
You need to move on with your life.
Yeah, I know.
I know.
I'm always with you.
You have a gift, Jay.
Learn it, hone it, and most
importantly, use it wisely.
And whatever you do, stay
away from.
Huh?
Dad?
Say that again.
Hello dad?
Dad?
What was that?
Christmas present.
Thank you.
Looks good, Jay.
Thanks.
Mm, here.
Thank you.
Welcome.
Does that hurt?
Yeah, it's kinda tender.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Makes you look tough, I like it.
You are tough.
You're tough but it makes you look,
makes you look tough.
Thanks.
Oh.
Sorry.
That's okay.
You know you guys, I was thinking,
there's like a real market
for what we're doing out there, you know?
I think that we could, if
we put our heads together,
lay some ground rules down,
we could really, we could
really change history.
Like not even a joke.
Andy.
I think it's time we all
start living in the present.
Stop living in the past.
What do you guys say?
That sounds good.
Hey, you know what?
Merry Christmas.
- Merry Christmas.
- Merry Christmas, y'all.
Where's Jackson?
Jackson?
Don't worry, Uncle Jay,
I'm just whipping up some popcorn soup.
- No!
- No!
No no no no!
Not my house too, Jackson!
No no no no!
I like to put
the whole bag of popcorn
in the oil, Uncle Jay.
No!
What the hell is popcorn soup?
Put that pan down.
Put it down.
I've almost got it in.
- Unplug it!
- Now.
- Unplug it.
- I just gotta,
I just gotta add this
water to the boiling oil.
Do you wanna see how long
that I can keep my eyes open
I can keep them open all week
Okay, I don't know
if this is gonna work.
Oh Alison,
baby girl, if you're there give me a sign.
I just,
big daddy misses you and I,
I just kinda wanna hear your voice again.
'Cause I wanna say I'm sorry.
For not being the best big daddy for,
for my Alison and I,
I just need to hear your
voice one more time, please.
Oh my God.
I think I hear you.
She went through my soul!
Oh my God.