Mansion of Blood (2015) Movie Script
0
Mirabelle!
Mirabelle, is it you?
I know you're out there.
I can hear you.
I've tried to make you happy.
It's not the end of the world.
The only reason I bought
this house was for you.
I didn't do it for me.
For you, it was
just all for you.
No! No!
No! No, stop!
Stop!
No! No!
No!
You know it.
I'm in.
It wouldn't be the Terrible Trio
if you didn't come
along tonight, Sally.
I do have better
things to do tonight
than go to a party at
the Mayhew mansion.
Ugh, that place
gives me the creeps.
But if it means so much to
you, Samantha, I'll be there.
Man, why are you always
so bummed out, Drake?
I am happy.
Oh, god, Drake, can you smile?
That's sad.
In a tortured, dark way.
That's why I get all the girls.
You just treat
'em all like dirt,
and they fall for
you every time.
You coming tonight?
Shit, man, I almost forgot.
You know my grandfather
worked for Morgan Mayhew?
No way.
You know he had seances
and crazy sex rituals?
You could go into the Mayhew
mansion estate party tonight
with the lunar
eclipse viewing party.
I never go by this creepy place.
You talk like that
place is cursed.
It's OK to drive
by in the daylight,
but I would never drive
by there at night.
Well, they've had construction
crews up there for a year.
Yeah, and hardly any deaths.
See? No big deal.
Did your grandfather
get anything in the will?
They never found the will.
The state took the
whole inheritance.
Why would anybody
put all that money
into that old haunt?
Scared of the dark?
I know what you're scared of.
Sally.
No. Little people.
They creep me out.
Dude, that's the stupidest
thing to be afraid of.
Hey, I can't help it, all right?
I just don't wanna end up alone.
That's not even a real fear.
That's like, "Oh,
I need the friends"
"'cause I need the attention."
- You're so needy.
- Yeah, you're needy.
Thanks.
See you tonight.
The three of us? It'll
be the Mayhem mansion.
We are going to slay
all the men tonight.
OK, enough.
I can't believe I'm gonna have
to put up with this all night.
You are all crazy.
Sir?
Yes, Mr. Murphy.
You remember my
beautiful wife Trixie,
our caterer?
Together we are the
unbeatable team.
Caterer and event
planner to die for.
I don't want
something to go wrong
because I got soft and allow you
to hire your wife
to cater the party.
My gorgeous wife.
I want my guests
to have an evening
they'll never forget
in River Ridge.
Absolutely.
We are serving the
finest French champagne.
Imported?
From France.
Excellent.
To serving appetizers
from around the world.
Squid.
On wheat crisps.
- And...
- Escargot,
with habanero pepper, and
oysters on the half shell.
No, no, no naked dames.
My wife's here tonight.
No Venus on the
half shell, Tracy.
Count on it.
My Carlotta.
I want my guests to
have as good a time
as you two lovebirds
have together.
Although I can't
actually promise
that anyone will fall in love.
Is that a hot tub over there?
Oh, you are so.
Don't worry, just keep
your eye off the wait staff.
You know I only have
eyes for you, pumpkin.
I want this evening
to be perfect.
And the main course
will be served at 9:40.
As long as the main
course is not my pocketbook.
No, sir, we are on budget.
Salmon from the Russian river.
With hollandaise sauce.
You imported the
salmon from Russia?
Yeah.
Only the best.
Where's the prime rib from?
Wisconsin, sir.
What country is that?
It's right next to Bulgaria.
Don't worry, sir,
everything Trixie makes
is spectacular.
See you later, honeysuckle.
It's a shame
I don't know, we haven't
reached the front door yet
and I'm already creeped out.
Oh, heck, there's no
cell coverage out here.
It doesn't look that scary.
I don't know why everyone's
afraid of this place.
Everyone knows, Sam.
Morgan Mayhew made his
millions in life insurance,
but he defrauded his customers
and never paid the
insurance policies.
Yeah, so he had to
come to River Ridge
to get away from the world.
Or escape his customers.
And he was an occultist.
Was he?
His daughter and
son mysteriously died.
Morgan and his
beloved wife Mirabelle
vanished on the eve of the
completion of the estate.
Cursed.
They were never seen again.
Well, I mean he
probably cut his wrist,
wandered off to the ridge,
and fell into the river.
You are no fun.
The night's young.
Though what
happened to Mirabelle?
It's still creepy.
It's perfectly fine.
Gunner!
You're welcome to
join the party.
I don't like parties.
I want to make sure I
have a complete list
of the last-minute fixes.
Most contractors, they
come in, they do the job,
and they just vanish.
I hope you don't
think I'm like that.
I think you're
doing a wonderful job.
I hated this dump.
It's OK now, but why do we
have to live in River Ridge?
I want to show
everyone in this town
that I made something of myself.
Besides, it's a great place
to keep Elijah out of
trouble in his teen years.
I worry about the trouble
that boy can get into
in New York City.
You actually think about Elijah?
You ignore him half the time.
So you keep saying.
I'm not in a coma, you know.
I can hear.
Sure.
But you don't listen.
Make sure that all the receipts
get to my secretary
tomorrow morning.
Do me a favor.
Can you put on a shirt
and some slacks for tonight?
I got all the local jet set
coming in for the party.
Jet set?
The mayor, the county
board of supervisors.
I have a change of
clothing in my truck.
Good, 'cause I don't think
one of my shirts would fit you.
Welcome to Mayhem man,
I'm sorry, Mayhew mansion.
Funny.
I apologize.
It's Mayhew mansion.
The construction workers
use that term a lot,
and I can't get
it out of my head,
and I know what you're
going to like tonight.
We have a lovely game
called Name That Smell,
and you will feel it
before you see it.
My, you're so lovely.
Yes, we are.
It's beyond
explanation, your beauty.
Oh, I'm so happy
to have you here.
Now you're a bit early because
we're still setting up tables.
Is the bar open?
I love your attitude.
It's very persnickety,
and it has a feeling of
tickling, you see.
The bartender doesn't
show up 'til dusk,
but until that time, I can
refresh you ladies with a drink.
Now you're talking.
My name is Zechariah.
It'll be a wonderful night.
Samantha, I don't
know why you lug that
giant bag around with you.
Please.
Enter the party dome.
Very good.
Excuse me.
Are you one of the guests?
No, I'm Aaron, I'm late.
I was just dead today,
but now I feel fine.
Aaron. I think
Zechariah's looking for you.
I'm so sorry I'm late, sir.
I just couldn't seem to
get out of bed 'til dusk.
You keep this lifestyle going,
you're going to need a day pass.
I'm sorry, sir.
I don't know what
happened today.
Well, you better
figure out what happened,
because I can have you
removed like a curse.
There's Mark.
Oh my god, guys, there's Drake.
Drake is hands off until
Sally has a real conversation.
After all this time, why bother?
After all this time, aren't
you going to go kiss Tony?
Sally!
You've been chasing after
Drake for three years.
Go ahead, ride 'em, cowgirl.
Yeehaw.
If I went out with her,
I'd have to scrape her
off with a spatula.
Never get rid of her.
I'd have to kill
her or something.
Oh, that's romantic.
Yeah, I am.
Kinda chokes me up,
I'm so sensitive.
You could pass her off to me
if Sarah won't hook up later.
Oh, god, don't give
me that macho crap, man.
Hey, we all know you're sick
with puppy love over Sarah.
Well, if you ask her,
she might say yeah.
Girls usually do.
Ask her what?
Anything, Tony, anything.
Where have you been?
Places. I don't know.
Don't take that tone with me.
Stay out of trouble and
do not go near the pool.
Wow, thanks, Dad. Great party.
I said don't take that tone.
Hi, Tony.
Oh, hey, Samantha.
Hey, Mark.
You wanna dance?
Please, god.
Did you hear from...
I got into Stanford.
Are you heading to Berkeley?
We're practically
going to be neighbors.
We should get together sometime.
Or, I mean, I mean,
keep in touch.
Tony, we're friends.
At the least we're friends.
Not bad.
You owe me a dance tonight.
I'm actually singing
with one of the bands.
I thought you gave that up.
So did I.
Thanks. Excuse me a minute.
No.
I'm a married woman. I'm
a happily married woman.
No one's happily married.
If you think your
husband's happy,
it's 'cause he's
sleeping around.
So, how about
you and I
have a little bit of fun?
Just leave me alone,
or you'll be walking funny
the rest of the week.
Hey, you two.
Soda is at the bar.
Listen, tonight is a very
important night for your father.
I need you two to get along.
Hello.
Hi.
Gunner Thorsen.
Sarah Donner.
So you're here for the party?
I'm the contractor.
Oh, I just love men
who work with your hands
and tools and wood.
I enjoy working with
my hands in carpentry.
Really?
I have a shelf at home that's
loose and kinda wiggles.
Oh, you should
have that looked at.
Oh, I...
No, it could be
dangerous in an earthquake.
Well, I can't
afford a contractor,
and I'm just useless with tools.
Well, I'm sure
you're exaggerating.
No, I'm hopeless.
I'd be happy to stop by
and fasten that shelf up
tight for you sometime.
Oh, I couldn't ask you.
I volunteered.
Oh, I...
I insist. It's a
public safety issue.
Well, if it's a safety concern.
Could you show me the estate?
I've never been inside before.
You know it's supposed
to be haunted?
I don't believe in ghosts.
This is my lovely wife Rosalind,
and that's our son Elijah.
When I was a kid, I used to love
exploring these grounds
and buildings around here.
I'm finally home.
I had some extra money
to rebuild this old dump
so I figured, hey,
why not throw a party?
, I am married, eh?
Arthur Mayhew.
I can't believe you
crashed the party.
Shh, Kelly!
The whole town was
invited, practically.
I'm on the guest
list as Arthur Smith.
You still aren't...
The will's gotta be
here if it's anywhere.
Jesus.
Maybe it got buried
with old Morgan Mayhew,
wherever he is.
What is it you expect
this magic will to say?
Well, maybe it says the estate
passes to the next of kin.
That's what the family rumor is.
That's the kind of thing
families like to believe.
All this could have been mine
if we could have
only found the will.
I could have gone to
an Ivy League college
if I only would
have had the money.
If I had that money,
I'd be on the
first jet to Miami,
and then off to Rio.
No, or the south of France,
depending on the time
of year, of course.
Of course.
What I could do with that money!
I hope you find out, Arthur.
Me too.
Oh, god, there's Mason Murphy.
Well, don't strangle him.
He didn't lose the will.
I know, I know, I know.
I've got it.
Meet me upstairs at 9 p.m.
Well, well, well, well.
What do we have here?
What's your name?
Shirley.
- What you're drinking?
- Champagne.
So cliche.
Let me introduce you
to apple martini.
Shall we?
All public areas have
been completely redone,
except for a few of
the original pieces
from the Mayhew estate.
- What pieces?
- What rooms?
This diary was discovered
during the renovation.
Antiquities, that
Mayan calendar stone,
and the marble.
Oh! It's almost
time for the eclipse.
What am I doing?
Out, out, onto the
lawn, everybody.
Perfect.
Oh, cool! Look at that!
Man, that's screwy.
It's not right. We're so small.
We're so small.
What is your problem?
It's just,
oh god.
Oh god!
It's not real.
It's not really real!
Hey, what are you looking for?
I'm not looking for anything.
I saw you looking for something.
I was looking for something
'cause I saw you
looking for something.
Did you find it?
I don't know.
What are you looking for?
Nothing.
Me neither.
I need another drink.
The bar's out there
if you're looking.
Franklin Kopinsky, I summon you.
Frank?
Appear to me in
this nether hour,
bound by love and truth.
Frank?
Aren't you glad
to see me, Frank?
Samantha.
I've missed you so much.
Um. Yeah.
Don't you miss me?
Well, sure, I suppose,
but I've moved on.
Who is that?
Just a friend.
A friend?
My spirit guide.
Like I'd believe you.
"Oh, I'll be right back,"
"just heading to the corner
to pick up a case of beer."
I was.
They found you down by the
river with a dead hooker.
I don't know who she was.
You drowned in an inch of water.
Who does that? Who drowns
in an inch of water?
Someone who's so
tired of your bitching
they drink a case of
beer down by the river.
Screw you, Frank.
Oh, now, now.
Finally I'm dead and
now you wanna do it.
It's a little late for
screwing, Samantha.
I just have to
ask you something.
Finally she gets to the point.
I don't have forever, you know.
A winning lottery ticket
was sold at the liquor store
the night you died,
and it's never been redeemed.
Did you buy a lottery ticket
when you bought
that case of beer?
You dragged my
ass all the way back
from perdition for money?
And, no, I didn't buy a
lottery ticket that night
because I spent all my
money on liquor and hookers.
How could you say
that to me now, Frank?
I'm under a spell.
I cannot tell a lie.
Then did you ever love me?
Of course I loved you.
I was afraid I'd
never see you again.
What's it like?
Beyond the veil?
I'm sorry, Samantha,
you're gonna have to
find that out for yourself.
Wait!
Who are you with?
Are you seeing someone?
Are you dating somebody
you met in purgatory?
I'll see you soon, Samantha.
Mayor August Harold.
But you knew that, right?
There, there, darling,
it'll be all right.
Get out while you still can.
What?
Run before it's too late.
Well, it's a little
early to announce
my reelection campaign,
but with supporters like
you, I guess I can't lose.
Run!
Evening, Mason.
Evening, Mayor.
Great party.
Eh, I've had better.
What? Oh.
Did you have any more trouble
with that building permit?
What building permit?
Exactly.
I hate to drink and run, but
I've gotta run.
See you Sunday, the.
See you there.
Where's Gloria?
After you, my dear.
An original oil
painting of Morgan Mayhew,
who built this mansion in 1920.
You look just like him.
You could be his son.
Or his reincarnated spirit.
You know, these old
River Ridge families.
We're all related.
I'd hoped coming here
would bring us closer again.
We talk all the time.
That's more than
most couples I know.
I remember when you
were in love with me.
I love you, Rosalind.
I always have, I always will.
, I've got tours to give.
Is it clockwise?
The lost bearer bonds.
Mayhew Insurance.
My grandfather was right!
So easy, right there
in front of everyone
for all these years!
How many times have
the stocks split?
These bonds are worth millions.
Hi, Drake.
What are you doing?
What are those?
I was looking for you, Sally.
Wait, what?
I've been crushing
on you for years.
What?
It's true.
Meet me at the upstairs
landing in 45 minutes?
OK.
I got to put up with
my half-wit twin brother!
God, you disgust me!
OK.
I am tired of carrying
you through life.
It's time you
carry me for a bit.
Everyone has their cross
to bear, and you're mine.
I'm sorry.
I am not gonna let
you drag me down.
Do you hear me?
Just keep the house and
grounds clear of trash,
and try not to look like
a slack-jawed idiot.
I'm sorry.
Why they didn't drown you
at birth I will never know.
God, what a freak!
What was
that? What was that?
You guys hear that?
No, it's just,
you're being paranoid.
Everything smells wonderful.
Come on, guys, give me a hand.
What did you do?
Oh, good Lord, what was that?
No worries, just a
burn in the kitchen.
Everything is all right.
Nobody saw that, OK?
It was an accident!
What are we gonna do?
Carpet and close it.
Go get one! Hurry!
All right, I got it, I got it.
The original furniture.
Clockwise?
Counter-clockwise.
My great-uncle's will.
So easy!
My father was right.
Morgan Mayhew, he
must have hid it
in his drawer for safekeeping.
I'm the sole heir to the estate.
Oh!
Mr. Murphy, I didn't know...
Hello, Arthur!
You know, I checked
the guest list.
There is no Arthur Smith on it.
But I think your name
is actually Mayhew.
So what if it is?
Can't I go incognito to a party?
Spill it.
OK. My great-uncle
built the house.
I just wanted to have a look.
Hmm.
Well, you're welcome
to look around.
Have a drink. Hell,
stay for dinner.
Just keep your sticky fingers
off the furnishings.
I promise.
Well, have a good time, then.
It's a party, for God's sakes.
Oh, guys, please
don't unroll that in here.
There could be spiders.
Sarah, it's been a long time
Since I've been feeling
all these feelings
All the love I
feel for you now
I know that sometimes
It can be a
little overwhelming
But this feeling's
something new
And you are my princess
But if you'd rather be my
queen you can be my queen too
We'll show them,
all the people
That this time is for real,
everything I say is true
I don't know where
I would be without you
But I know one
thing's for sure
I'll be leaving
my doors open for
Your smiling face
that makes my heart race
And I don't wanna spend
Another single day
Without you
I'll be singing love
songs all night long
Hoping that you're hearing
the words I'm singing
'Cause I don't wanna spend
Another single day
Without you
Not another day without you
Singing love
songs all night long
Hoping that you're hearing
the words I'm singing
'Cause I don't wanna spend
Another single day
Without you
Not another day without you
Marie!
Hey, man, good job, hey!
What you looking at?
I think I just
saw my dead sister.
What?
That can't be a
good sign, can it?
I think it's a sign
you need to drink more.
Great party, huh?
Yeah.
I still have to
finish the inspection.
Oh, well, sure. I understand.
You know, I'm not the
sort who usually...
Neither am I.
Can I get your number or?
Sure. I hate hook-ups.
You never see the guy again.
I wanna see you again.
At least one more time.
12, midnight, in the foyer.
Could you give me a lift home?
I'm sure I could
give you a ride.
Make it 11.
Creepy place.
I think I left my
drink over there.
Just stand up and
see if you can reach.
Thanks.
But I wanted to stay
and see the party.
This party's dead.
I want another drink.
There's whiskey in the car.
No, I want a fruity little drink
with an umbrella
and a twisty straw.
Not tonight.
Isn't that supposed to
be my line?
Seriously, Gloria,
what's the problem?
My business is done.
I wanna get out of here before
this party goes to hell.
Aw, but that's when
all the fun starts.
Just what I need.
A photo of myself
in a drunken party
with my mistress
again on the Internet.
Hey, I never said
I was your mistress.
Half the people at
the hot tub were naked.
Really?
Let's go.
Hey, hold your horses.
What is that?
Is one of the horses
out of the stable?
What's the horses
doing over there?
What's her name?
Which one?
My son must never know
that his father's a philanderer,
that he cheated on me
with another woman.
Other women?
My god.
Damn him, he will pay.
By the way, I do
have another copy
of these photos, and
I can show them to your son,
Elijah, if you don't pay me,
let's say, $10,000.
You bastard.
I'm going to take only 20,000.
Just because I
like you that much.
Of course, Mr. Steel.
Don't worry, Detective.
I've got yours right here.
Thirsty work.
Time for Mother's little helper.
We're not even sure
if he came here alone.
We put the body aside until
the authorities can arrive.
No, no!
No. No one's calling
the cops on my party.
Oh, Tony.
I missed your song.
Did you see a woman in
a red silk dress up here?
No.
Look, it's one guy who died.
Tough luck.
Nothing can be done for him now.
Who is she?
She's,
nothing.
After the party,
we'll call the ambulance
and the coroner, got it?
But, sir...
I said, you got it?
Yes, sir.
I still owe you a dance.
Oh, yeah, of course.
Hey, Tony, I don't wanna
give you the wrong idea.
No, of course not.
Smile.
Can you tell me what
that big stone fragment is
down in the room by the library?
That's a very interesting story.
I love interesting stories.
He brought that stone fragment
from an excavation
site in Mexico City,
an ancient temple.
That very stone fragment
is a piece of the
Mayan stone calendar,
and it's 3600 years
old this very year.
Shit.
Human blood spilled
on that very rock.
Did they find
anything underneath it?
They didn't find anything.
Imagine our luck,
being here the very time the
calendar starts a new era.
Look, I tried a spell earlier
and something went wrong.
You promised not to
do that magic nonsense.
I lied!
There are other forces
here I wasn't aware of.
What does that mean?
It means anything could happen!
Your worst nightmares,
your biggest fears,
your most personal demons.
It's not funny.
What the hell?
Oh.
Someone in this
house is a murderer.
Elijah, don't be too upset.
We didn't even know him.
He's a detective.
What is he doing here?
Half the county's
here tonight, Mason.
Someone must have
wanted to silence him.
But why?
OK, we're gonna
have to call the cops.
No! No, no, no, no.
We don't want to panic everyone,
not until the party's over.
Someone out there is a murderer!
Mr. Murphy, oh, my.
This has never happened before,
two murders at
one of my parties.
I've never had two murders
at any of my parties.
And we don't know who it is.
Well, what are the odds
he'll kill again tonight?
There's a maniac loose in here.
This man has been shot, stabbed,
and had his head kicked in.
This is a party.
Someone out there is a murderer!
Don't be a coward.
This party's gonna be good.
That's it.
I'm done in here.
I'm not gonna get murdered.
I've never seen the
moon like that before.
It's blood red.
It's so huge.
It's so stark.
It's like an evil
eye staring down on us.
Isn't the eclipse
supposed to be over at 9:40?
The earth and the moon are
frozen in space. And time.
I think global warming.
Smog.
It's the ozone. It
makes everything red.
No, it's the hole in the ozone
that makes everything red.
- Really?
- Yeah.
You wanna correct me right here?
You wanna make
something of it, man?
Let's do it.
Oh, man.
Are you OK?
Violence makes me nauseous.
What a goofball.
What's going on?
I am not being
murdered by one of those
sick, psychotic, demented
bastards.
Hey!
They're party guests.
What are you talking about?
There is a murderer
in this house.
What?
I am not gonna be next, OK?
Hey, and what's your
brilliant plan, Elijah?
Screw you, Dad, OK?
I am walking in this room.
There are no windows, and
there are no other doors,
so I'm gonna lock myself in here
until morning.
I'll see who's still alive
when the police arrive
or when the morning comes.
You know that if you go
running off by yourself,
you're gonna get murdered.
No one is splitting up.
I'm gonna walk in here now.
At least let me stay with you.
No one is gonna change my mind.
I'll see you in the morning.
I know he's safe in there.
After all, he's all alone.
Elijah! Elijah!
My baby!
We can't open this door.
Drama queen.
Mr. Corbett?
Do you think it's
still all right
if I take off early tonight?
Yes, Jody, I know your
mother's not feeling well.
We have plenty of
extra hands tonight.
I can't wait until your
wife is busy in the kitchen.
Jody, you know what
I'm gonna do to you
when I get you in
that broom closet.
You are so hot.
You know I want it.
Better get back to work
before anybody notices.
I'm waiting for it, stud.
Samuel!
How could you?
With that trailer trash!
How could you
humiliate me like this?
And now the whole
town probably knows.
I'm so humiliated!
Oh!
Bastard!
How could he do this to me?
I dedicated my
entire life to him.
I can't believe this!
Oh, I'll make you a drink
you'll never forget, Samuel.
It'll be spectacular.
Here's a little drink
for you, sweetheart.
Oh, you are so thoughtful,
my sequined angel.
I will always be yours.
It has a little kick in it.
Oh, you're my only kick.
This is a little
bit of a firecracker,
to get you hot for later.
She doesn't even know
about the murders yet.
That was so
impolite, young lady.
And that was your husband?
What?
Don't forget your
drink, my darling.
Oh, my god!
Trixie!
No, wait!
Why?
That's why, that's why!
Poison?
Poison, you moon-faced bitch?
I never even knew you.
I never even knew you at all.
What's going on here?
God, she's dead drunk.
Just dead. Poisoned by Trixie.
Hot damn, this is fantastic!
What?
Rosalind's ensured for
five million dollars.
I just turned a profit
in this old dump.
It wasn't suicide, was it?
No.
Great.
You know, I could make
it worth your while
if you testified to that fact.
We have to tell this
to the authorities.
In River Ridge,
they're all either drunk
or stoned 'til tomorrow morning.
We talked about this. No cops.
But you have a responsibility!
To host a party.
Todd, can you remove the
bodies? Thanks, brother.
Everybody, have a drink.
Open a fresh champagne bottle,
whiskey, vodka, whatever
the hell's back there.
We'll talk later
about you-know-what.
What happened to her?
She's dead.
Just like your son is dead.
Didn't you at least
love your son?
Of course I loved my son,
but a man can always
get another son.
But you have a
chance to cash in on
your wife's insurance policy
once, maybe twice.
Rosalind thought
it was a bad idea
to come back to River Ridge.
Ha!
Who figured?
There's bite marks
on Trixie's neck,
but I think the fork killed her.
You really think
so? You're a genius.
What are you looking at?
What are you looking for?
Finders keepers.
Losers weepers.
Oh, Trix.
How am I gonna tell the boys?
You having your
own private party
out in the cold or something?
This isn't funny, freaks.
Think it's funny
trying to scare a girl
with your stupid zombie walk?
Screw you, I hope
you never get laid.
Great night!
Did someone just
keel over in there?
Oh, yeah, I guess they did.
It's terrible.
But I found the will.
You get everything here,
and all the houses for
about a mile around too.
The original grounds
were almost a mile.
Now they can all pay me rent.
That's not right.
We're a poor county.
These people have lived on
this land for almost 90 years.
My family's been poor
for almost 90 years.
They can pay me or get out.
It's not right. You can't.
No, wait!
I'm doing you a favor.
This isn't you.
No!
You can't make this
decision for me.
You can't take away
my inheritance!
My family worked this
land and everything on it!
It's mine!
Oh, god, my DNA.
Oh, god.
No one's gonna ever
believe that I did it.
Crazy party, huh?
Yeah, it was.
Come here, Sally.
Hey, easy, Drake.
Hey, hey, hey, stop, easy.
Stop it.
Stop it!
- Shh.
- Stop it.
I don't want to,
help!
You don't want your friends
to see you like this.
Get off me.
Get off, get off me.
I liked you, Drake.
I know.
I knew you were a mistake.
Damn it!
Sally!
I'm afraid we've been
receiving some complaints
of noise from the neighbors.
What?
We're at least half a
mile from anyone else.
Well, you know, sound
carries pretty far
out here in the country.
Never know how far it can go.
Well, maybe you two
boys should come in
and inspect the party.
Well, if you think
it's necessary.
You must stay
and join the party.
That's very neighborly.
Oh, we're all neighbors
here in River Ridge.
You know, you boys don't
have to worry too much
about the noise
coming from upstairs.
Most of the noise
seems to be coming from
the swimsuit models
in the hot tub.
Swimsuit models?
I hired 'em to be escorts.
Ah,
hostesses, hostesses,
to give tours and
things like that.
You know, we have every possible
type of woman here tonight.
Anything you can imagine.
Well, I don't know.
Look at that, my watch is slow.
Steve, we're,
we're off-duty, buddy.
Great, great!
The hot tub is this way, boys.
Go get 'em, killers.
Aaron!
Keep them from going upstairs.
I don't care what
you have to do.
I don't want them
to see those bodies
until after the party.
I'll try my best.
You do that.
Listen, get them
something to drink,
quickly, something fruity
with a lot of vodka.
I know that drink.
Listen, I don't care
if you have to chain
them to the hot tub.
Just keep them from
going upstairs.
OK.
Now I only have
five million dollars
to comfort me in
my time of grief.
We all must learn
to endure, Mr. Murphy.
Oh, well, that's life.
And death.
That's the circle of life.
And death.
To life.
And death!
What made you want
to become a cop?
Thought I'd look
good in the uniform.
Oh, yes.
You girls ready
to hit the hot tub?
Oh, yes.
Let's do it.
Whoa, careful, Shirley.
I don't bite much.
Don't be such a show-off.
It is so tight
and uncomfortable.
Hey, look how tight
the straps are.
It is really tight.
Ooh, bad boy!
Well, I think it's only
fair if you take these off.
See?
I bet you were chafing.
Oh, it's better, so much better.
Oh.
I'm sorry.
I didn't realize there
was another event
going on here tonight.
I'm so sorry to intrude.
Sally!
What the fuck is this?
There's another
event going on here.
I'm so sorry, again. I'm sorry.
Oh, man.
They are
too precious.
They are so cute.
Drake, do not be rude, Drake.
Why? What are they gonna do?
Frown at me?
So come on.
What the hell is this?
A birthday party for a midget?
Who's the big honoree?
Hey, that's a nice
word for little people.
Aw, come on, darling.
Why don't you sit on my lap
and tell me what you
want for Christmas?
Oh, shit.
Oh!
No, don't stab
him, please! Please!
Drake!
No!
Sally? Sally?
Please, what are you doing?
Stop!
Help me please!
No!
Leave him alone!
No!
Stop!
Please!
The eclipse is
beautiful tonight.
Isn't it?
And you look so handsome
in the moonlight.
Do I?
Hello?
Hello, nice little people?
Hello, nice little murderers?
Vicious little felons?
Anyone?
Hey, what's up, dude?
I need a drink.
All right.
Make it a triple.
Triple it is.
Here you go.
Harry!
What would you like to do?
Would you like to start there?
If you've got the fuel, baby.
I've got what?
You've got the fuel.
Oh, Ryan, no!
How could you love me?
This is a terrible party.
Now you think this
is a terrible party?
Be gone with yourself.
Go.
Anybody want some cake?
I'll have a slice.
What do you feel?
Who wants some cake?
I don't like the way
you're looking at me.
I just can't believe it.
Oh my god.
They got a girl.
Oh my god, now
that is just wrong.
I'm not afraid of
some drunk idiots.
We need a flamethrower.
Go ahead. Scream.
I'm used to it.
Crazy night, huh?
Good party, though.
It's been too long.
Who are you?
I apologize.
Being dead and forced to consort
with the lowest
levels of society
has left my manners a bit rusty.
I am Captain Bruce
William Campbell,
late of the Confederate
Army of Atlanta, Georgia,
deceased June the 23rd, 1864.
Oh.
I'm Sally.
I'm talking to a ghost?
You're a ghost?
A dead man?
In the flesh.
So to speak.
What are those things?
Demons. My own
personal demons.
Don't worry, they
won't come near me.
You're safe as long as I'm here.
Please don't leave.
I've got all the
time in the world.
No worries.
Damn it.
I finally meet a nice
guy, and he's dead.
I am certain
a lovely young lady
such as yourself
must have many suitors.
The man I came here to
meet tonight was murdered.
Not that there's anything
wrong with being dead.
Don't spill my drink, Mauricio.
Don't worry, I'll
get you another one.
So the demons came upon me
and attacked in a most
unfair and cowardly fashion.
I fought bravely,
but I was overpowered.
They killed you?
That cannon you
see on the grass,
I was tied across the
front of the muzzle
and the fuse was ignited.
Oh, that's terrible.
I felt so hollow for so long.
And now?
Just sort of
empty all over.
I can feel you a little bit.
It's the eclipse.
How am I gonna get out of here?
Why, I shall be your escort.
I wish there was something
that could be done.
Some things cannot be undone.
That is a hard lesson to learn.
A lot of ladies here tonight.
Yeah, yeah, blue.
Ten.
Black?
A five.
Well, well, what
can I get you, miss?
I'm Rita, darling.
I'm Aaron.
Aren't you adorable?
Oh, I could just eat you up.
Mmm, OK.
So what do you suggest?
Oh, the possibilities
are endless.
How about your favorite?
My favorite?
Come here.
Keep drinking, keep drinking.
You are so beautiful.
Oh, take it easy, tiger.
There's plenty of time.
Oh, yeah?
Is that right?
Wouldn't want you
to go off half-cocked.
Oh, no chance of that.
You're so sexy.
Oh, this was fun.
Yes, it was.
I'm starving.
Yeah, me too.
I gotta get back to work.
- No.
- Yeah, yeah, it's my job.
- No.
- I gotta do it.
Stay just a little
bit longer, yeah?
- Yeah?
- Mm-hmm.
Why not?
Yeah? Just a little longer?
- Yes.
- OK.
Thanks, darling.
You're so pretty.
Good night.
Come to Papa.
Another reason I don't get
a ride home from a party.
Certainly he did
not deserve this.
You don't know him.
He looks a fine fellow.
Appearances can be deceiving.
Is this wise?
I'm not gonna leave
him hanging up here
for everyone to see.
This party sucks
enough without people
thinking my date hanged himself.
I'm sure they
would not think that.
I would be honored to be
your date at a.
You don't know the year 2012.
Is that what year it is?
Funny, it seems only
yesterday it was 1920
and I first moved here.
Time does get away
from us all, huh?
True.
Catch him!
I've got him.
Bruce? Bruce!
Bruce, are you hurt? Bruce!
How could I be hurt
when I'm already dead?
Bruce?
Drake?
Bruce?
Oh, my.
Oh my god.
My diary's not gonna
believe this one.
They may not come
into the light,
but let us not chance it.
I'd hate to get
murdered again so soon.
We've gotta get
out of this water.
I'm starting to prune up.
I can take you upstairs
and dry you off there.
Hey, cutie.
Hello.
How you doing?
Good.
You're not a cop, are you?
No.
Good.
Hi.
Where'd your friends go?
Upstairs.
Wanna join them?
Sure.
Oh my god.
No, wait, I can explain!
That guy is a freak.
They're dead.
They're dead bodies.
You should do something.
We have to call the cops.
You are the cops.
But I haven't done anything more
than a breaking and entering,
and that was a kid's bike.
We have to get Steve.
Fake!
I knew it.
You both aren't
supposed to be up here.
Mr. Murphy would be very cross.
There are dead bodies
in those bedrooms.
Well, then what's a few more?
Oh, lovely girl.
Hi.
I'm here with the football team.
You were like in a cemetery?
Smell good.
Ugh, get away.
Can I get you a drink?
Bruce, I mean Drake,
Drake, what would
you like to drink?
Would you happen
to have whiskey?
I have whole cases of it.
You'll like this.
Is it good?
It's,
it's heaven.
Union currency?
Bruce, Drake, yeah,
there's something
I need to tell you
about the Civil War.
The Union won.
How was I to know?
I thought the Confederacy won!
OK, we have to talk
about civil rights too
and emancipation.
Really, we do.
I will listen.
Being dead broadens
one's perspective.
I can't believe that.
I love you.
Oh, sorry.
Oh.
"He was buried with all
his internal organs intact."
"19th dynasty."
Jesus.
3,000 years old, huh?
You look pretty good
for your age, partner.
I'm sorry.
Not funny, dude.
Oh, man, that's not fair.
Hey, back off, lefty!
You're the only one going hungry
at the all-you-can-eat buffet.
I friggin' hate parties.
I'm having such a
wonderful time tonight.
Really?
I met a guy.
I think I met him.
Isn't he wonderful?
Yes, wonderful.
Is there a lady in your life?
Isn't that wonderful
that there's someone
in the world for everyone?
I see you.
I thought I told you not
to go near the pool area.
Mom said it was OK though.
She said I could borrow trunks.
Did you also tell her
that I told you not to go?
I don't have to.
No, you don't.
Not anymore.
What?
I guess you boys have
to grow up someday.
What are you talking about?
Sarah, are you OK?
Gunner fell into the door.
Who?
Gunner. He's gone.
Republican's army said
to the Democrat vampire,
"I'm tired of your bleeding
heart liberal agenda."
So you finally
hooked up with Drake?
Good for you.
Uh.
He's the life of the party.
He's not real.
I beg your pardon.
You're not real.
Ephemeral spirit
comes the dawn, poof!
Poof?
What are you talking about?
I'm a witch, Sally.
I can tell he's a ghost.
Of course. Did you...
You're a witch?
What did you do
with Drake's soul?
- Nothing.
- We haven't seen anything
with Drake and Drake's soul.
Are you responsible for the
powers unleashed here tonight?
"Witch" rhymes
with "bitch," honey.
Don't push me, I've
had a bad night.
You're not tied
to the real world.
You're inhabiting the
body of a dead man,
and when the eclipse ends
or the spell's sundered,
you're going to go,
and not through the front door.
Isn't there anything
you can do to help Bruce?
Well,
there may be one thing.
- Anything.
- Anything.
Earth magic.
You have to have sex
with each other.
You have to breathe the air,
drink and eat and have sex.
That might bind you
back to the earth.
I have done the first three.
However, Miss Sally
is not the sort
who would even entertain
such a perverted notion.
We're not engaged,
let alone married.
I'm sure you can get
laid at this party.
Try the hot tub.
Hot tub?
Yeah, there's a lot of
action going on there.
Must be the weather.
Fine, all right, I'll do it.
We all must have
sacrifices to fight evil.
It just doesn't seem right.
We're not engaged.
We're not married.
You're not that sort of woman.
Oh, just shut up.
I have a new face. How odd.
I think you're very handsome.
I suppose after 145
years, I could use a change.
Well, come on, already.
You're stalling.
Are you sure?
It's not 1864 anymore.
I miss it.
I know.
What was it like?
It was a completely
different world.
That changed one day at a time
until I was the only
thing left of it.
I never realized
how lonely I was
until I looked into your eyes.
I want out. I want out.
You can make a run for it.
OK, we get a bunch
of people together,
we could make it to the gate.
I really screwed up.
I did too.
All that wasted worry.
I waited years for
someone who didn't want me.
I'm sorry.
It happens every day.
Guess it does.
Where's Mark?
I have no idea.
I gotta go find him.
Yeah, what's waiting
outside the gate?
Nothing.
There is nothing
outside the gate.
I'm not just gonna
sit here and wait.
Well, I can wait 'til
someone else goes first.
I suggest you kill yourselves.
If you're murdered by
supernatural creatures,
your soul will be
damned to walk the earth
until the end of time.
It's been a very busy night.
Get some rest.
And sweet dreams.
Oh, my god,.
I'm sorry.
I can't find my date.
Where'd you see him last?
George went to the
front gate to get the car.
What's your name?
Olivia.
I'm Mark.
I don't think we're
gonna be able to
make it to the front gate.
OK.
How about the house at
the top of the hill?
We can go there and get help
or wait until morning.
I don't wanna stay here, OK?
Let's get out.
Is anyone there? Open up!
I can hear someone.
Please, please, help us!
Please!
For the love of
God, open the door!
Who are you, and
what do you want?
We're not supposed to
open the door after dark.
Do you have a landline?
We need to call the police.
A landline?
A telephone.
Do you have a telephone?
Well, of course
we have a telephone.
You must let us call the police.
There's been a murder.
Several.
How many murders?
Five.
We're not supposed to
open the door after dark.
Come in, then, and hurry,
if it's a police matter.
Come on.
I'm Natalie, and this
is my sister Millicent.
Is your power out?
No.
Can you turn the lights on?
That's a bad idea,
not on the eclipse.
It's the night
of the blood moon.
Telephone?
Oh, right there.
911? 911?
911, what's your emergency?
There's been a murder.
Where are you?
The Mayhew mansion estate.
That place is abandoned.
It's on our patrol route.
What the hell are
you talking about?
There's been five
murders here tonight.
What night is it?
I can't remember the damn date!
Our records show that
the Mayhew estate's abandoned.
It's already on
our patrol route.
You have to come. Send
all the cops you can.
There's a serial killer loose at
Mason Murphy's lunar
eclipse viewing party
at the old Mayhew
mansion estate.
Stop making prank calls.
Someone might
actually need to use
the emergency service line.
There's been a lot
of calls tonight.
Listen to me, listen, listen.
This is no prank call,
this is a murder call.
Murder's been done here
tonight, murder most foul!
A detective was shot.
And clubbed on the head!
And then the caterer
tried to poison
the event planner!
And someone stabbed
him in the back!
And then the hostess
drank the poison drink!
And poor Elijah
was torn to shreds
in an empty room with
no one else with him!
Please, please just help us!
We need help here!
Stop making prank calls.
How awful.
Are they sending the police?
No.
They don't believe us.
They never do.
Oh, you must stay
with us until it's safe.
You can't go back
down there tonight.
We can't open the door again.
Thank you, thank you.
Please don't make
us go back down there.
Of course not, we won't.
Not on this night.
I'll make some tea.
- Cookies.
- Oh yes!
You must help me find Gunner.
I have to find Gunner.
He was the one.
It'll never end.
We're trapped here forever.
We're all going to die,
trapped here under
the dark moon.
Well, we all have
to die sometime.
You say it like you think
we're going to die now.
Because we are going to die now.
People are dropping like flies,
and one by one they're
being murdered,
until the last one
alive kills himself,
just like Morgan Mayhew.
Well, I am not dying tonight.
I am going to find Gunner.
I told her.
I told you all.
We're all cursed.
I hate to ask, do you,
do you guys have
any guns?
I mean, to defend yourselves,
in case something
comes to the door?
Oh, I don't hold with guns.
Heavens, no.
We'd probably blow
our brains out.
Accidentally.
By accident.
I am so glad you guys are here.
There, there, dear.
Have an almond cookie.
It's my special recipe.
It's delicious.
Thank you.
No, no, thank you.
I can't eat anything.
Imagine how we feel,
living up here all alone.
Olivia? Olivia?
Olivia! Olivia!
You poisoned our tea.
Oh, we wouldn't poison the tea.
Everybody's drinking tea.
You poisoned the cookies?
It's my special recipe.
I put in extra cyanide.
Almonds have cyanide, you know.
It enhances the
flavor of the cookie.
One day, I'll eat one.
You fucking bitch!
You bitch!
Which one?
Both of you!
You just killed her?
You killed Olivia?
Oh, that's not fair.
I didn't poison
the almond cookies.
Manners must be taught.
Rules must be obeyed.
We mustn't open
the door after dark.
Never on the night
of the blood moon.
Let go! Let go!
Godammit! God!
Crazy old chickens, someone
ought to wring your neck!
Oh, have a cookie, Millicent.
Soon. Someday soon.
Tony! Tony, oh, Tony!
I fear he did not fare well.
Are you making a dining joke?
That's macabre, dog.
Where've you been?
This man's been torn to
shreds and you make jokes?
I have been dead for
the past 148 years.
I have to end this, or
we'll be trapped here.
What do you mean?
If the spell isn't broken,
we'll be trapped here
until we're all dead.
We're outside of
everything here,
completely alone,
removed from even
the mind of God.
I wanted to talk to Frank
about that lottery ticket.
A freaking lottery ticket?
You raised the dead
for a lottery ticket?
Did he have it?
No.
Hmm, tough luck.
We can't go on to
the next cycle of years
until the spell is broken.
Until then, we're
not even in reality.
Anything is possible.
Anything.
How do we break the spell?
I don't know, but I'm gonna try.
That means
it didn't work, right?
Hey, Sally, hold on,
be careful out there!
It must be something else.
It wasn't the calendar stone.
That's a waste of a good body.
It must be Morgan.
Great-Uncle Morgan Mayhew.
I've always felt strangely
connected to him.
I look just like him.
What's it mean?
Where's the body?
Are you enjoying the party?
Kill me!
My body!
I know how you feel.
Burn my body!
Oh, I've had a night, too.
Burn my body!
Have a good night.
Oh my god!
Oh my god!
Great-Uncle Morgan!
He was rolled up in the carpet?
For 92 years.
After all this
time, I did not even notice.
What do we do?
I do not know.
Let's burn the body.
What about that
witch's spell book?
I was a ballerina, you know.
I loved to dance.
I know you loved to dance.
Do you need a ride to go home?
I'm Mirabelle Mayhew.
Morgan Mayhew was my husband.
You look good, Morgan.
The years have been good to you.
He stole all that money.
I didn't want to have anything
more to do to with him.
I tried to leave Morgan,
but he forced me to
move into the mansion.
I fought him that first night.
It's a nightmare
that's never left me.
You fought Morgan Mayhew,
and all that blood
all over the house?
That was Morgan's.
He suffered in the end.
I was a very strong ballet
dancer once upon a time.
My god, you must be...
112 years old.
I've waited a long time.
I lived because I knew I
was needed on this night.
I saw him in visions.
Each year, it grew stronger.
Morgan set powerful
forces in play
when he built this mansion.
Then why on you?
I kept it for luck.
Happy anniversary, darling.
Sally, Sally,
don't let go of me.
I won't! I'll
never let go, Bruce!
Mirabelle, my love.
Well, it's been fun.
Is it too late for a nightcap?
No, ma'am, it's not
too late for a nightcap.
It's an honor to know you
and be in your presence.
That was weird.
I've never seen
anything like it.
Nonsense, this is nothing.
But look at that skeleton.
It has bite marks on its bones.
I was in Afghanistan.
Now, keep an eye to business.
We've gotta get these folks into
the crematorium before sundown.
Hey!
What are you
stumbling around for?
Get on clean-up detail!
I don't want this
place stinking of
pain, flesh, and demons.
Get to it.
It looks like a slip-and-fall
accident right there.
OK.
That's kitchen accident.
Freezer burn.
Cardiac arrest right there.
That one,
we'll come back to that one.
Oh, oh my god, that
one's still alive.
Hunting accident.
It's a tragedy.
A terrible, terrible tragedy.
I'll say.
But it all worked
out in the end.
What?
I got a dump that's on
the real estate market
at a very attractive
price today,
so get to it.
I can't find Trixie's body.
Oh well.
It was a hell of a party,
and I ended up a
richer man for it,
so I'm not going to dock her fee
for dying on the job.
I am in a generous,
generous mood.
Why, thank you, Mr. Murphy.
You're welcome.
I really appreciate it.
Very, very much.
It's a beautiful day.
Foul, that was most foul,
number 37.
OK, calm down, Bruce.
It's only a game.
Didn't you get
any rest last night?
Baby, you look half dead.
Do I?
I'm trying to be more alive.
I wish they'd stop showing that.
What's going on?
Is it war?
When is it not?
Thank God we live in Iowa,
where nothing bad ever happens.
No, nothing bad
ever happens here.
Who cares what's going on
halfway around the world?
Frankly, I'm sick of it.
What are these?
Let me see those.
I thought that would be the end.
What am I supposed to do now?
Driving up to a house this big
Wondering what could
be inside of this thing
For a million dollars
you could have it all
But a night in hell
makes your skin crawl
You didn't ask for
what you will receive
A night where you'll wish
you didn't see what you've seen
This has all been done before
When the Mayhew's
body hit the floor
This wasn't asked for,
why is this happening
Give in to the things
that make you shake
'Cause you're trapped in
You try to keep running away
But there's nowhere to
hide, I can always find you
'Cause I've seen
inside of your head
I know all of your fears
and they're coming to get you
All that's left
is pain and sorrow
That comes raining down
in my mansion of blood
And the fear that
there's no tomorrow
That comes raining down
in my mansion of blood
Demons running
through your head
Zombie cannibals
tearing at your flesh
Witchcraft in the
dead of the night
Summoning ghosts
and all poltergeists
You can run but
there's nowhere to hide
Evil coming after you
to take away your life
One move and
you're on the floor
You'll be begging
at your mercy
While the devil's at your door
This wasn't asked for,
why is this happening
Give in to the things
that make you shake
'Cause you're trapped there
You try to keep running away
But there's nowhere to
hide, I can always find you
'Cause I've seen
inside of your head
I know all of your fears
and they're coming to get you
All that's left
is pain and sorrow
That comes raining down
in my mansion of blood
And the fear that
there's no tomorrow
That comes raining down
in my mansion of blood
You try to keep running away
But there's nowhere to
hide, I can always find you
'Cause I've seen
inside of your head
I know all of your fears
and they're coming to get you
All that's left
is pain and sorrow
That comes raining down
in my mansion of blood
And the fear that
there's no tomorrow
That comes raining down
in my mansion of blood
Mirabelle!
Mirabelle, is it you?
I know you're out there.
I can hear you.
I've tried to make you happy.
It's not the end of the world.
The only reason I bought
this house was for you.
I didn't do it for me.
For you, it was
just all for you.
No! No!
No! No, stop!
Stop!
No! No!
No!
You know it.
I'm in.
It wouldn't be the Terrible Trio
if you didn't come
along tonight, Sally.
I do have better
things to do tonight
than go to a party at
the Mayhew mansion.
Ugh, that place
gives me the creeps.
But if it means so much to
you, Samantha, I'll be there.
Man, why are you always
so bummed out, Drake?
I am happy.
Oh, god, Drake, can you smile?
That's sad.
In a tortured, dark way.
That's why I get all the girls.
You just treat
'em all like dirt,
and they fall for
you every time.
You coming tonight?
Shit, man, I almost forgot.
You know my grandfather
worked for Morgan Mayhew?
No way.
You know he had seances
and crazy sex rituals?
You could go into the Mayhew
mansion estate party tonight
with the lunar
eclipse viewing party.
I never go by this creepy place.
You talk like that
place is cursed.
It's OK to drive
by in the daylight,
but I would never drive
by there at night.
Well, they've had construction
crews up there for a year.
Yeah, and hardly any deaths.
See? No big deal.
Did your grandfather
get anything in the will?
They never found the will.
The state took the
whole inheritance.
Why would anybody
put all that money
into that old haunt?
Scared of the dark?
I know what you're scared of.
Sally.
No. Little people.
They creep me out.
Dude, that's the stupidest
thing to be afraid of.
Hey, I can't help it, all right?
I just don't wanna end up alone.
That's not even a real fear.
That's like, "Oh,
I need the friends"
"'cause I need the attention."
- You're so needy.
- Yeah, you're needy.
Thanks.
See you tonight.
The three of us? It'll
be the Mayhem mansion.
We are going to slay
all the men tonight.
OK, enough.
I can't believe I'm gonna have
to put up with this all night.
You are all crazy.
Sir?
Yes, Mr. Murphy.
You remember my
beautiful wife Trixie,
our caterer?
Together we are the
unbeatable team.
Caterer and event
planner to die for.
I don't want
something to go wrong
because I got soft and allow you
to hire your wife
to cater the party.
My gorgeous wife.
I want my guests
to have an evening
they'll never forget
in River Ridge.
Absolutely.
We are serving the
finest French champagne.
Imported?
From France.
Excellent.
To serving appetizers
from around the world.
Squid.
On wheat crisps.
- And...
- Escargot,
with habanero pepper, and
oysters on the half shell.
No, no, no naked dames.
My wife's here tonight.
No Venus on the
half shell, Tracy.
Count on it.
My Carlotta.
I want my guests to
have as good a time
as you two lovebirds
have together.
Although I can't
actually promise
that anyone will fall in love.
Is that a hot tub over there?
Oh, you are so.
Don't worry, just keep
your eye off the wait staff.
You know I only have
eyes for you, pumpkin.
I want this evening
to be perfect.
And the main course
will be served at 9:40.
As long as the main
course is not my pocketbook.
No, sir, we are on budget.
Salmon from the Russian river.
With hollandaise sauce.
You imported the
salmon from Russia?
Yeah.
Only the best.
Where's the prime rib from?
Wisconsin, sir.
What country is that?
It's right next to Bulgaria.
Don't worry, sir,
everything Trixie makes
is spectacular.
See you later, honeysuckle.
It's a shame
I don't know, we haven't
reached the front door yet
and I'm already creeped out.
Oh, heck, there's no
cell coverage out here.
It doesn't look that scary.
I don't know why everyone's
afraid of this place.
Everyone knows, Sam.
Morgan Mayhew made his
millions in life insurance,
but he defrauded his customers
and never paid the
insurance policies.
Yeah, so he had to
come to River Ridge
to get away from the world.
Or escape his customers.
And he was an occultist.
Was he?
His daughter and
son mysteriously died.
Morgan and his
beloved wife Mirabelle
vanished on the eve of the
completion of the estate.
Cursed.
They were never seen again.
Well, I mean he
probably cut his wrist,
wandered off to the ridge,
and fell into the river.
You are no fun.
The night's young.
Though what
happened to Mirabelle?
It's still creepy.
It's perfectly fine.
Gunner!
You're welcome to
join the party.
I don't like parties.
I want to make sure I
have a complete list
of the last-minute fixes.
Most contractors, they
come in, they do the job,
and they just vanish.
I hope you don't
think I'm like that.
I think you're
doing a wonderful job.
I hated this dump.
It's OK now, but why do we
have to live in River Ridge?
I want to show
everyone in this town
that I made something of myself.
Besides, it's a great place
to keep Elijah out of
trouble in his teen years.
I worry about the trouble
that boy can get into
in New York City.
You actually think about Elijah?
You ignore him half the time.
So you keep saying.
I'm not in a coma, you know.
I can hear.
Sure.
But you don't listen.
Make sure that all the receipts
get to my secretary
tomorrow morning.
Do me a favor.
Can you put on a shirt
and some slacks for tonight?
I got all the local jet set
coming in for the party.
Jet set?
The mayor, the county
board of supervisors.
I have a change of
clothing in my truck.
Good, 'cause I don't think
one of my shirts would fit you.
Welcome to Mayhem man,
I'm sorry, Mayhew mansion.
Funny.
I apologize.
It's Mayhew mansion.
The construction workers
use that term a lot,
and I can't get
it out of my head,
and I know what you're
going to like tonight.
We have a lovely game
called Name That Smell,
and you will feel it
before you see it.
My, you're so lovely.
Yes, we are.
It's beyond
explanation, your beauty.
Oh, I'm so happy
to have you here.
Now you're a bit early because
we're still setting up tables.
Is the bar open?
I love your attitude.
It's very persnickety,
and it has a feeling of
tickling, you see.
The bartender doesn't
show up 'til dusk,
but until that time, I can
refresh you ladies with a drink.
Now you're talking.
My name is Zechariah.
It'll be a wonderful night.
Samantha, I don't
know why you lug that
giant bag around with you.
Please.
Enter the party dome.
Very good.
Excuse me.
Are you one of the guests?
No, I'm Aaron, I'm late.
I was just dead today,
but now I feel fine.
Aaron. I think
Zechariah's looking for you.
I'm so sorry I'm late, sir.
I just couldn't seem to
get out of bed 'til dusk.
You keep this lifestyle going,
you're going to need a day pass.
I'm sorry, sir.
I don't know what
happened today.
Well, you better
figure out what happened,
because I can have you
removed like a curse.
There's Mark.
Oh my god, guys, there's Drake.
Drake is hands off until
Sally has a real conversation.
After all this time, why bother?
After all this time, aren't
you going to go kiss Tony?
Sally!
You've been chasing after
Drake for three years.
Go ahead, ride 'em, cowgirl.
Yeehaw.
If I went out with her,
I'd have to scrape her
off with a spatula.
Never get rid of her.
I'd have to kill
her or something.
Oh, that's romantic.
Yeah, I am.
Kinda chokes me up,
I'm so sensitive.
You could pass her off to me
if Sarah won't hook up later.
Oh, god, don't give
me that macho crap, man.
Hey, we all know you're sick
with puppy love over Sarah.
Well, if you ask her,
she might say yeah.
Girls usually do.
Ask her what?
Anything, Tony, anything.
Where have you been?
Places. I don't know.
Don't take that tone with me.
Stay out of trouble and
do not go near the pool.
Wow, thanks, Dad. Great party.
I said don't take that tone.
Hi, Tony.
Oh, hey, Samantha.
Hey, Mark.
You wanna dance?
Please, god.
Did you hear from...
I got into Stanford.
Are you heading to Berkeley?
We're practically
going to be neighbors.
We should get together sometime.
Or, I mean, I mean,
keep in touch.
Tony, we're friends.
At the least we're friends.
Not bad.
You owe me a dance tonight.
I'm actually singing
with one of the bands.
I thought you gave that up.
So did I.
Thanks. Excuse me a minute.
No.
I'm a married woman. I'm
a happily married woman.
No one's happily married.
If you think your
husband's happy,
it's 'cause he's
sleeping around.
So, how about
you and I
have a little bit of fun?
Just leave me alone,
or you'll be walking funny
the rest of the week.
Hey, you two.
Soda is at the bar.
Listen, tonight is a very
important night for your father.
I need you two to get along.
Hello.
Hi.
Gunner Thorsen.
Sarah Donner.
So you're here for the party?
I'm the contractor.
Oh, I just love men
who work with your hands
and tools and wood.
I enjoy working with
my hands in carpentry.
Really?
I have a shelf at home that's
loose and kinda wiggles.
Oh, you should
have that looked at.
Oh, I...
No, it could be
dangerous in an earthquake.
Well, I can't
afford a contractor,
and I'm just useless with tools.
Well, I'm sure
you're exaggerating.
No, I'm hopeless.
I'd be happy to stop by
and fasten that shelf up
tight for you sometime.
Oh, I couldn't ask you.
I volunteered.
Oh, I...
I insist. It's a
public safety issue.
Well, if it's a safety concern.
Could you show me the estate?
I've never been inside before.
You know it's supposed
to be haunted?
I don't believe in ghosts.
This is my lovely wife Rosalind,
and that's our son Elijah.
When I was a kid, I used to love
exploring these grounds
and buildings around here.
I'm finally home.
I had some extra money
to rebuild this old dump
so I figured, hey,
why not throw a party?
, I am married, eh?
Arthur Mayhew.
I can't believe you
crashed the party.
Shh, Kelly!
The whole town was
invited, practically.
I'm on the guest
list as Arthur Smith.
You still aren't...
The will's gotta be
here if it's anywhere.
Jesus.
Maybe it got buried
with old Morgan Mayhew,
wherever he is.
What is it you expect
this magic will to say?
Well, maybe it says the estate
passes to the next of kin.
That's what the family rumor is.
That's the kind of thing
families like to believe.
All this could have been mine
if we could have
only found the will.
I could have gone to
an Ivy League college
if I only would
have had the money.
If I had that money,
I'd be on the
first jet to Miami,
and then off to Rio.
No, or the south of France,
depending on the time
of year, of course.
Of course.
What I could do with that money!
I hope you find out, Arthur.
Me too.
Oh, god, there's Mason Murphy.
Well, don't strangle him.
He didn't lose the will.
I know, I know, I know.
I've got it.
Meet me upstairs at 9 p.m.
Well, well, well, well.
What do we have here?
What's your name?
Shirley.
- What you're drinking?
- Champagne.
So cliche.
Let me introduce you
to apple martini.
Shall we?
All public areas have
been completely redone,
except for a few of
the original pieces
from the Mayhew estate.
- What pieces?
- What rooms?
This diary was discovered
during the renovation.
Antiquities, that
Mayan calendar stone,
and the marble.
Oh! It's almost
time for the eclipse.
What am I doing?
Out, out, onto the
lawn, everybody.
Perfect.
Oh, cool! Look at that!
Man, that's screwy.
It's not right. We're so small.
We're so small.
What is your problem?
It's just,
oh god.
Oh god!
It's not real.
It's not really real!
Hey, what are you looking for?
I'm not looking for anything.
I saw you looking for something.
I was looking for something
'cause I saw you
looking for something.
Did you find it?
I don't know.
What are you looking for?
Nothing.
Me neither.
I need another drink.
The bar's out there
if you're looking.
Franklin Kopinsky, I summon you.
Frank?
Appear to me in
this nether hour,
bound by love and truth.
Frank?
Aren't you glad
to see me, Frank?
Samantha.
I've missed you so much.
Um. Yeah.
Don't you miss me?
Well, sure, I suppose,
but I've moved on.
Who is that?
Just a friend.
A friend?
My spirit guide.
Like I'd believe you.
"Oh, I'll be right back,"
"just heading to the corner
to pick up a case of beer."
I was.
They found you down by the
river with a dead hooker.
I don't know who she was.
You drowned in an inch of water.
Who does that? Who drowns
in an inch of water?
Someone who's so
tired of your bitching
they drink a case of
beer down by the river.
Screw you, Frank.
Oh, now, now.
Finally I'm dead and
now you wanna do it.
It's a little late for
screwing, Samantha.
I just have to
ask you something.
Finally she gets to the point.
I don't have forever, you know.
A winning lottery ticket
was sold at the liquor store
the night you died,
and it's never been redeemed.
Did you buy a lottery ticket
when you bought
that case of beer?
You dragged my
ass all the way back
from perdition for money?
And, no, I didn't buy a
lottery ticket that night
because I spent all my
money on liquor and hookers.
How could you say
that to me now, Frank?
I'm under a spell.
I cannot tell a lie.
Then did you ever love me?
Of course I loved you.
I was afraid I'd
never see you again.
What's it like?
Beyond the veil?
I'm sorry, Samantha,
you're gonna have to
find that out for yourself.
Wait!
Who are you with?
Are you seeing someone?
Are you dating somebody
you met in purgatory?
I'll see you soon, Samantha.
Mayor August Harold.
But you knew that, right?
There, there, darling,
it'll be all right.
Get out while you still can.
What?
Run before it's too late.
Well, it's a little
early to announce
my reelection campaign,
but with supporters like
you, I guess I can't lose.
Run!
Evening, Mason.
Evening, Mayor.
Great party.
Eh, I've had better.
What? Oh.
Did you have any more trouble
with that building permit?
What building permit?
Exactly.
I hate to drink and run, but
I've gotta run.
See you Sunday, the.
See you there.
Where's Gloria?
After you, my dear.
An original oil
painting of Morgan Mayhew,
who built this mansion in 1920.
You look just like him.
You could be his son.
Or his reincarnated spirit.
You know, these old
River Ridge families.
We're all related.
I'd hoped coming here
would bring us closer again.
We talk all the time.
That's more than
most couples I know.
I remember when you
were in love with me.
I love you, Rosalind.
I always have, I always will.
, I've got tours to give.
Is it clockwise?
The lost bearer bonds.
Mayhew Insurance.
My grandfather was right!
So easy, right there
in front of everyone
for all these years!
How many times have
the stocks split?
These bonds are worth millions.
Hi, Drake.
What are you doing?
What are those?
I was looking for you, Sally.
Wait, what?
I've been crushing
on you for years.
What?
It's true.
Meet me at the upstairs
landing in 45 minutes?
OK.
I got to put up with
my half-wit twin brother!
God, you disgust me!
OK.
I am tired of carrying
you through life.
It's time you
carry me for a bit.
Everyone has their cross
to bear, and you're mine.
I'm sorry.
I am not gonna let
you drag me down.
Do you hear me?
Just keep the house and
grounds clear of trash,
and try not to look like
a slack-jawed idiot.
I'm sorry.
Why they didn't drown you
at birth I will never know.
God, what a freak!
What was
that? What was that?
You guys hear that?
No, it's just,
you're being paranoid.
Everything smells wonderful.
Come on, guys, give me a hand.
What did you do?
Oh, good Lord, what was that?
No worries, just a
burn in the kitchen.
Everything is all right.
Nobody saw that, OK?
It was an accident!
What are we gonna do?
Carpet and close it.
Go get one! Hurry!
All right, I got it, I got it.
The original furniture.
Clockwise?
Counter-clockwise.
My great-uncle's will.
So easy!
My father was right.
Morgan Mayhew, he
must have hid it
in his drawer for safekeeping.
I'm the sole heir to the estate.
Oh!
Mr. Murphy, I didn't know...
Hello, Arthur!
You know, I checked
the guest list.
There is no Arthur Smith on it.
But I think your name
is actually Mayhew.
So what if it is?
Can't I go incognito to a party?
Spill it.
OK. My great-uncle
built the house.
I just wanted to have a look.
Hmm.
Well, you're welcome
to look around.
Have a drink. Hell,
stay for dinner.
Just keep your sticky fingers
off the furnishings.
I promise.
Well, have a good time, then.
It's a party, for God's sakes.
Oh, guys, please
don't unroll that in here.
There could be spiders.
Sarah, it's been a long time
Since I've been feeling
all these feelings
All the love I
feel for you now
I know that sometimes
It can be a
little overwhelming
But this feeling's
something new
And you are my princess
But if you'd rather be my
queen you can be my queen too
We'll show them,
all the people
That this time is for real,
everything I say is true
I don't know where
I would be without you
But I know one
thing's for sure
I'll be leaving
my doors open for
Your smiling face
that makes my heart race
And I don't wanna spend
Another single day
Without you
I'll be singing love
songs all night long
Hoping that you're hearing
the words I'm singing
'Cause I don't wanna spend
Another single day
Without you
Not another day without you
Singing love
songs all night long
Hoping that you're hearing
the words I'm singing
'Cause I don't wanna spend
Another single day
Without you
Not another day without you
Marie!
Hey, man, good job, hey!
What you looking at?
I think I just
saw my dead sister.
What?
That can't be a
good sign, can it?
I think it's a sign
you need to drink more.
Great party, huh?
Yeah.
I still have to
finish the inspection.
Oh, well, sure. I understand.
You know, I'm not the
sort who usually...
Neither am I.
Can I get your number or?
Sure. I hate hook-ups.
You never see the guy again.
I wanna see you again.
At least one more time.
12, midnight, in the foyer.
Could you give me a lift home?
I'm sure I could
give you a ride.
Make it 11.
Creepy place.
I think I left my
drink over there.
Just stand up and
see if you can reach.
Thanks.
But I wanted to stay
and see the party.
This party's dead.
I want another drink.
There's whiskey in the car.
No, I want a fruity little drink
with an umbrella
and a twisty straw.
Not tonight.
Isn't that supposed to
be my line?
Seriously, Gloria,
what's the problem?
My business is done.
I wanna get out of here before
this party goes to hell.
Aw, but that's when
all the fun starts.
Just what I need.
A photo of myself
in a drunken party
with my mistress
again on the Internet.
Hey, I never said
I was your mistress.
Half the people at
the hot tub were naked.
Really?
Let's go.
Hey, hold your horses.
What is that?
Is one of the horses
out of the stable?
What's the horses
doing over there?
What's her name?
Which one?
My son must never know
that his father's a philanderer,
that he cheated on me
with another woman.
Other women?
My god.
Damn him, he will pay.
By the way, I do
have another copy
of these photos, and
I can show them to your son,
Elijah, if you don't pay me,
let's say, $10,000.
You bastard.
I'm going to take only 20,000.
Just because I
like you that much.
Of course, Mr. Steel.
Don't worry, Detective.
I've got yours right here.
Thirsty work.
Time for Mother's little helper.
We're not even sure
if he came here alone.
We put the body aside until
the authorities can arrive.
No, no!
No. No one's calling
the cops on my party.
Oh, Tony.
I missed your song.
Did you see a woman in
a red silk dress up here?
No.
Look, it's one guy who died.
Tough luck.
Nothing can be done for him now.
Who is she?
She's,
nothing.
After the party,
we'll call the ambulance
and the coroner, got it?
But, sir...
I said, you got it?
Yes, sir.
I still owe you a dance.
Oh, yeah, of course.
Hey, Tony, I don't wanna
give you the wrong idea.
No, of course not.
Smile.
Can you tell me what
that big stone fragment is
down in the room by the library?
That's a very interesting story.
I love interesting stories.
He brought that stone fragment
from an excavation
site in Mexico City,
an ancient temple.
That very stone fragment
is a piece of the
Mayan stone calendar,
and it's 3600 years
old this very year.
Shit.
Human blood spilled
on that very rock.
Did they find
anything underneath it?
They didn't find anything.
Imagine our luck,
being here the very time the
calendar starts a new era.
Look, I tried a spell earlier
and something went wrong.
You promised not to
do that magic nonsense.
I lied!
There are other forces
here I wasn't aware of.
What does that mean?
It means anything could happen!
Your worst nightmares,
your biggest fears,
your most personal demons.
It's not funny.
What the hell?
Oh.
Someone in this
house is a murderer.
Elijah, don't be too upset.
We didn't even know him.
He's a detective.
What is he doing here?
Half the county's
here tonight, Mason.
Someone must have
wanted to silence him.
But why?
OK, we're gonna
have to call the cops.
No! No, no, no, no.
We don't want to panic everyone,
not until the party's over.
Someone out there is a murderer!
Mr. Murphy, oh, my.
This has never happened before,
two murders at
one of my parties.
I've never had two murders
at any of my parties.
And we don't know who it is.
Well, what are the odds
he'll kill again tonight?
There's a maniac loose in here.
This man has been shot, stabbed,
and had his head kicked in.
This is a party.
Someone out there is a murderer!
Don't be a coward.
This party's gonna be good.
That's it.
I'm done in here.
I'm not gonna get murdered.
I've never seen the
moon like that before.
It's blood red.
It's so huge.
It's so stark.
It's like an evil
eye staring down on us.
Isn't the eclipse
supposed to be over at 9:40?
The earth and the moon are
frozen in space. And time.
I think global warming.
Smog.
It's the ozone. It
makes everything red.
No, it's the hole in the ozone
that makes everything red.
- Really?
- Yeah.
You wanna correct me right here?
You wanna make
something of it, man?
Let's do it.
Oh, man.
Are you OK?
Violence makes me nauseous.
What a goofball.
What's going on?
I am not being
murdered by one of those
sick, psychotic, demented
bastards.
Hey!
They're party guests.
What are you talking about?
There is a murderer
in this house.
What?
I am not gonna be next, OK?
Hey, and what's your
brilliant plan, Elijah?
Screw you, Dad, OK?
I am walking in this room.
There are no windows, and
there are no other doors,
so I'm gonna lock myself in here
until morning.
I'll see who's still alive
when the police arrive
or when the morning comes.
You know that if you go
running off by yourself,
you're gonna get murdered.
No one is splitting up.
I'm gonna walk in here now.
At least let me stay with you.
No one is gonna change my mind.
I'll see you in the morning.
I know he's safe in there.
After all, he's all alone.
Elijah! Elijah!
My baby!
We can't open this door.
Drama queen.
Mr. Corbett?
Do you think it's
still all right
if I take off early tonight?
Yes, Jody, I know your
mother's not feeling well.
We have plenty of
extra hands tonight.
I can't wait until your
wife is busy in the kitchen.
Jody, you know what
I'm gonna do to you
when I get you in
that broom closet.
You are so hot.
You know I want it.
Better get back to work
before anybody notices.
I'm waiting for it, stud.
Samuel!
How could you?
With that trailer trash!
How could you
humiliate me like this?
And now the whole
town probably knows.
I'm so humiliated!
Oh!
Bastard!
How could he do this to me?
I dedicated my
entire life to him.
I can't believe this!
Oh, I'll make you a drink
you'll never forget, Samuel.
It'll be spectacular.
Here's a little drink
for you, sweetheart.
Oh, you are so thoughtful,
my sequined angel.
I will always be yours.
It has a little kick in it.
Oh, you're my only kick.
This is a little
bit of a firecracker,
to get you hot for later.
She doesn't even know
about the murders yet.
That was so
impolite, young lady.
And that was your husband?
What?
Don't forget your
drink, my darling.
Oh, my god!
Trixie!
No, wait!
Why?
That's why, that's why!
Poison?
Poison, you moon-faced bitch?
I never even knew you.
I never even knew you at all.
What's going on here?
God, she's dead drunk.
Just dead. Poisoned by Trixie.
Hot damn, this is fantastic!
What?
Rosalind's ensured for
five million dollars.
I just turned a profit
in this old dump.
It wasn't suicide, was it?
No.
Great.
You know, I could make
it worth your while
if you testified to that fact.
We have to tell this
to the authorities.
In River Ridge,
they're all either drunk
or stoned 'til tomorrow morning.
We talked about this. No cops.
But you have a responsibility!
To host a party.
Todd, can you remove the
bodies? Thanks, brother.
Everybody, have a drink.
Open a fresh champagne bottle,
whiskey, vodka, whatever
the hell's back there.
We'll talk later
about you-know-what.
What happened to her?
She's dead.
Just like your son is dead.
Didn't you at least
love your son?
Of course I loved my son,
but a man can always
get another son.
But you have a
chance to cash in on
your wife's insurance policy
once, maybe twice.
Rosalind thought
it was a bad idea
to come back to River Ridge.
Ha!
Who figured?
There's bite marks
on Trixie's neck,
but I think the fork killed her.
You really think
so? You're a genius.
What are you looking at?
What are you looking for?
Finders keepers.
Losers weepers.
Oh, Trix.
How am I gonna tell the boys?
You having your
own private party
out in the cold or something?
This isn't funny, freaks.
Think it's funny
trying to scare a girl
with your stupid zombie walk?
Screw you, I hope
you never get laid.
Great night!
Did someone just
keel over in there?
Oh, yeah, I guess they did.
It's terrible.
But I found the will.
You get everything here,
and all the houses for
about a mile around too.
The original grounds
were almost a mile.
Now they can all pay me rent.
That's not right.
We're a poor county.
These people have lived on
this land for almost 90 years.
My family's been poor
for almost 90 years.
They can pay me or get out.
It's not right. You can't.
No, wait!
I'm doing you a favor.
This isn't you.
No!
You can't make this
decision for me.
You can't take away
my inheritance!
My family worked this
land and everything on it!
It's mine!
Oh, god, my DNA.
Oh, god.
No one's gonna ever
believe that I did it.
Crazy party, huh?
Yeah, it was.
Come here, Sally.
Hey, easy, Drake.
Hey, hey, hey, stop, easy.
Stop it.
Stop it!
- Shh.
- Stop it.
I don't want to,
help!
You don't want your friends
to see you like this.
Get off me.
Get off, get off me.
I liked you, Drake.
I know.
I knew you were a mistake.
Damn it!
Sally!
I'm afraid we've been
receiving some complaints
of noise from the neighbors.
What?
We're at least half a
mile from anyone else.
Well, you know, sound
carries pretty far
out here in the country.
Never know how far it can go.
Well, maybe you two
boys should come in
and inspect the party.
Well, if you think
it's necessary.
You must stay
and join the party.
That's very neighborly.
Oh, we're all neighbors
here in River Ridge.
You know, you boys don't
have to worry too much
about the noise
coming from upstairs.
Most of the noise
seems to be coming from
the swimsuit models
in the hot tub.
Swimsuit models?
I hired 'em to be escorts.
Ah,
hostesses, hostesses,
to give tours and
things like that.
You know, we have every possible
type of woman here tonight.
Anything you can imagine.
Well, I don't know.
Look at that, my watch is slow.
Steve, we're,
we're off-duty, buddy.
Great, great!
The hot tub is this way, boys.
Go get 'em, killers.
Aaron!
Keep them from going upstairs.
I don't care what
you have to do.
I don't want them
to see those bodies
until after the party.
I'll try my best.
You do that.
Listen, get them
something to drink,
quickly, something fruity
with a lot of vodka.
I know that drink.
Listen, I don't care
if you have to chain
them to the hot tub.
Just keep them from
going upstairs.
OK.
Now I only have
five million dollars
to comfort me in
my time of grief.
We all must learn
to endure, Mr. Murphy.
Oh, well, that's life.
And death.
That's the circle of life.
And death.
To life.
And death!
What made you want
to become a cop?
Thought I'd look
good in the uniform.
Oh, yes.
You girls ready
to hit the hot tub?
Oh, yes.
Let's do it.
Whoa, careful, Shirley.
I don't bite much.
Don't be such a show-off.
It is so tight
and uncomfortable.
Hey, look how tight
the straps are.
It is really tight.
Ooh, bad boy!
Well, I think it's only
fair if you take these off.
See?
I bet you were chafing.
Oh, it's better, so much better.
Oh.
I'm sorry.
I didn't realize there
was another event
going on here tonight.
I'm so sorry to intrude.
Sally!
What the fuck is this?
There's another
event going on here.
I'm so sorry, again. I'm sorry.
Oh, man.
They are
too precious.
They are so cute.
Drake, do not be rude, Drake.
Why? What are they gonna do?
Frown at me?
So come on.
What the hell is this?
A birthday party for a midget?
Who's the big honoree?
Hey, that's a nice
word for little people.
Aw, come on, darling.
Why don't you sit on my lap
and tell me what you
want for Christmas?
Oh, shit.
Oh!
No, don't stab
him, please! Please!
Drake!
No!
Sally? Sally?
Please, what are you doing?
Stop!
Help me please!
No!
Leave him alone!
No!
Stop!
Please!
The eclipse is
beautiful tonight.
Isn't it?
And you look so handsome
in the moonlight.
Do I?
Hello?
Hello, nice little people?
Hello, nice little murderers?
Vicious little felons?
Anyone?
Hey, what's up, dude?
I need a drink.
All right.
Make it a triple.
Triple it is.
Here you go.
Harry!
What would you like to do?
Would you like to start there?
If you've got the fuel, baby.
I've got what?
You've got the fuel.
Oh, Ryan, no!
How could you love me?
This is a terrible party.
Now you think this
is a terrible party?
Be gone with yourself.
Go.
Anybody want some cake?
I'll have a slice.
What do you feel?
Who wants some cake?
I don't like the way
you're looking at me.
I just can't believe it.
Oh my god.
They got a girl.
Oh my god, now
that is just wrong.
I'm not afraid of
some drunk idiots.
We need a flamethrower.
Go ahead. Scream.
I'm used to it.
Crazy night, huh?
Good party, though.
It's been too long.
Who are you?
I apologize.
Being dead and forced to consort
with the lowest
levels of society
has left my manners a bit rusty.
I am Captain Bruce
William Campbell,
late of the Confederate
Army of Atlanta, Georgia,
deceased June the 23rd, 1864.
Oh.
I'm Sally.
I'm talking to a ghost?
You're a ghost?
A dead man?
In the flesh.
So to speak.
What are those things?
Demons. My own
personal demons.
Don't worry, they
won't come near me.
You're safe as long as I'm here.
Please don't leave.
I've got all the
time in the world.
No worries.
Damn it.
I finally meet a nice
guy, and he's dead.
I am certain
a lovely young lady
such as yourself
must have many suitors.
The man I came here to
meet tonight was murdered.
Not that there's anything
wrong with being dead.
Don't spill my drink, Mauricio.
Don't worry, I'll
get you another one.
So the demons came upon me
and attacked in a most
unfair and cowardly fashion.
I fought bravely,
but I was overpowered.
They killed you?
That cannon you
see on the grass,
I was tied across the
front of the muzzle
and the fuse was ignited.
Oh, that's terrible.
I felt so hollow for so long.
And now?
Just sort of
empty all over.
I can feel you a little bit.
It's the eclipse.
How am I gonna get out of here?
Why, I shall be your escort.
I wish there was something
that could be done.
Some things cannot be undone.
That is a hard lesson to learn.
A lot of ladies here tonight.
Yeah, yeah, blue.
Ten.
Black?
A five.
Well, well, what
can I get you, miss?
I'm Rita, darling.
I'm Aaron.
Aren't you adorable?
Oh, I could just eat you up.
Mmm, OK.
So what do you suggest?
Oh, the possibilities
are endless.
How about your favorite?
My favorite?
Come here.
Keep drinking, keep drinking.
You are so beautiful.
Oh, take it easy, tiger.
There's plenty of time.
Oh, yeah?
Is that right?
Wouldn't want you
to go off half-cocked.
Oh, no chance of that.
You're so sexy.
Oh, this was fun.
Yes, it was.
I'm starving.
Yeah, me too.
I gotta get back to work.
- No.
- Yeah, yeah, it's my job.
- No.
- I gotta do it.
Stay just a little
bit longer, yeah?
- Yeah?
- Mm-hmm.
Why not?
Yeah? Just a little longer?
- Yes.
- OK.
Thanks, darling.
You're so pretty.
Good night.
Come to Papa.
Another reason I don't get
a ride home from a party.
Certainly he did
not deserve this.
You don't know him.
He looks a fine fellow.
Appearances can be deceiving.
Is this wise?
I'm not gonna leave
him hanging up here
for everyone to see.
This party sucks
enough without people
thinking my date hanged himself.
I'm sure they
would not think that.
I would be honored to be
your date at a.
You don't know the year 2012.
Is that what year it is?
Funny, it seems only
yesterday it was 1920
and I first moved here.
Time does get away
from us all, huh?
True.
Catch him!
I've got him.
Bruce? Bruce!
Bruce, are you hurt? Bruce!
How could I be hurt
when I'm already dead?
Bruce?
Drake?
Bruce?
Oh, my.
Oh my god.
My diary's not gonna
believe this one.
They may not come
into the light,
but let us not chance it.
I'd hate to get
murdered again so soon.
We've gotta get
out of this water.
I'm starting to prune up.
I can take you upstairs
and dry you off there.
Hey, cutie.
Hello.
How you doing?
Good.
You're not a cop, are you?
No.
Good.
Hi.
Where'd your friends go?
Upstairs.
Wanna join them?
Sure.
Oh my god.
No, wait, I can explain!
That guy is a freak.
They're dead.
They're dead bodies.
You should do something.
We have to call the cops.
You are the cops.
But I haven't done anything more
than a breaking and entering,
and that was a kid's bike.
We have to get Steve.
Fake!
I knew it.
You both aren't
supposed to be up here.
Mr. Murphy would be very cross.
There are dead bodies
in those bedrooms.
Well, then what's a few more?
Oh, lovely girl.
Hi.
I'm here with the football team.
You were like in a cemetery?
Smell good.
Ugh, get away.
Can I get you a drink?
Bruce, I mean Drake,
Drake, what would
you like to drink?
Would you happen
to have whiskey?
I have whole cases of it.
You'll like this.
Is it good?
It's,
it's heaven.
Union currency?
Bruce, Drake, yeah,
there's something
I need to tell you
about the Civil War.
The Union won.
How was I to know?
I thought the Confederacy won!
OK, we have to talk
about civil rights too
and emancipation.
Really, we do.
I will listen.
Being dead broadens
one's perspective.
I can't believe that.
I love you.
Oh, sorry.
Oh.
"He was buried with all
his internal organs intact."
"19th dynasty."
Jesus.
3,000 years old, huh?
You look pretty good
for your age, partner.
I'm sorry.
Not funny, dude.
Oh, man, that's not fair.
Hey, back off, lefty!
You're the only one going hungry
at the all-you-can-eat buffet.
I friggin' hate parties.
I'm having such a
wonderful time tonight.
Really?
I met a guy.
I think I met him.
Isn't he wonderful?
Yes, wonderful.
Is there a lady in your life?
Isn't that wonderful
that there's someone
in the world for everyone?
I see you.
I thought I told you not
to go near the pool area.
Mom said it was OK though.
She said I could borrow trunks.
Did you also tell her
that I told you not to go?
I don't have to.
No, you don't.
Not anymore.
What?
I guess you boys have
to grow up someday.
What are you talking about?
Sarah, are you OK?
Gunner fell into the door.
Who?
Gunner. He's gone.
Republican's army said
to the Democrat vampire,
"I'm tired of your bleeding
heart liberal agenda."
So you finally
hooked up with Drake?
Good for you.
Uh.
He's the life of the party.
He's not real.
I beg your pardon.
You're not real.
Ephemeral spirit
comes the dawn, poof!
Poof?
What are you talking about?
I'm a witch, Sally.
I can tell he's a ghost.
Of course. Did you...
You're a witch?
What did you do
with Drake's soul?
- Nothing.
- We haven't seen anything
with Drake and Drake's soul.
Are you responsible for the
powers unleashed here tonight?
"Witch" rhymes
with "bitch," honey.
Don't push me, I've
had a bad night.
You're not tied
to the real world.
You're inhabiting the
body of a dead man,
and when the eclipse ends
or the spell's sundered,
you're going to go,
and not through the front door.
Isn't there anything
you can do to help Bruce?
Well,
there may be one thing.
- Anything.
- Anything.
Earth magic.
You have to have sex
with each other.
You have to breathe the air,
drink and eat and have sex.
That might bind you
back to the earth.
I have done the first three.
However, Miss Sally
is not the sort
who would even entertain
such a perverted notion.
We're not engaged,
let alone married.
I'm sure you can get
laid at this party.
Try the hot tub.
Hot tub?
Yeah, there's a lot of
action going on there.
Must be the weather.
Fine, all right, I'll do it.
We all must have
sacrifices to fight evil.
It just doesn't seem right.
We're not engaged.
We're not married.
You're not that sort of woman.
Oh, just shut up.
I have a new face. How odd.
I think you're very handsome.
I suppose after 145
years, I could use a change.
Well, come on, already.
You're stalling.
Are you sure?
It's not 1864 anymore.
I miss it.
I know.
What was it like?
It was a completely
different world.
That changed one day at a time
until I was the only
thing left of it.
I never realized
how lonely I was
until I looked into your eyes.
I want out. I want out.
You can make a run for it.
OK, we get a bunch
of people together,
we could make it to the gate.
I really screwed up.
I did too.
All that wasted worry.
I waited years for
someone who didn't want me.
I'm sorry.
It happens every day.
Guess it does.
Where's Mark?
I have no idea.
I gotta go find him.
Yeah, what's waiting
outside the gate?
Nothing.
There is nothing
outside the gate.
I'm not just gonna
sit here and wait.
Well, I can wait 'til
someone else goes first.
I suggest you kill yourselves.
If you're murdered by
supernatural creatures,
your soul will be
damned to walk the earth
until the end of time.
It's been a very busy night.
Get some rest.
And sweet dreams.
Oh, my god,.
I'm sorry.
I can't find my date.
Where'd you see him last?
George went to the
front gate to get the car.
What's your name?
Olivia.
I'm Mark.
I don't think we're
gonna be able to
make it to the front gate.
OK.
How about the house at
the top of the hill?
We can go there and get help
or wait until morning.
I don't wanna stay here, OK?
Let's get out.
Is anyone there? Open up!
I can hear someone.
Please, please, help us!
Please!
For the love of
God, open the door!
Who are you, and
what do you want?
We're not supposed to
open the door after dark.
Do you have a landline?
We need to call the police.
A landline?
A telephone.
Do you have a telephone?
Well, of course
we have a telephone.
You must let us call the police.
There's been a murder.
Several.
How many murders?
Five.
We're not supposed to
open the door after dark.
Come in, then, and hurry,
if it's a police matter.
Come on.
I'm Natalie, and this
is my sister Millicent.
Is your power out?
No.
Can you turn the lights on?
That's a bad idea,
not on the eclipse.
It's the night
of the blood moon.
Telephone?
Oh, right there.
911? 911?
911, what's your emergency?
There's been a murder.
Where are you?
The Mayhew mansion estate.
That place is abandoned.
It's on our patrol route.
What the hell are
you talking about?
There's been five
murders here tonight.
What night is it?
I can't remember the damn date!
Our records show that
the Mayhew estate's abandoned.
It's already on
our patrol route.
You have to come. Send
all the cops you can.
There's a serial killer loose at
Mason Murphy's lunar
eclipse viewing party
at the old Mayhew
mansion estate.
Stop making prank calls.
Someone might
actually need to use
the emergency service line.
There's been a lot
of calls tonight.
Listen to me, listen, listen.
This is no prank call,
this is a murder call.
Murder's been done here
tonight, murder most foul!
A detective was shot.
And clubbed on the head!
And then the caterer
tried to poison
the event planner!
And someone stabbed
him in the back!
And then the hostess
drank the poison drink!
And poor Elijah
was torn to shreds
in an empty room with
no one else with him!
Please, please just help us!
We need help here!
Stop making prank calls.
How awful.
Are they sending the police?
No.
They don't believe us.
They never do.
Oh, you must stay
with us until it's safe.
You can't go back
down there tonight.
We can't open the door again.
Thank you, thank you.
Please don't make
us go back down there.
Of course not, we won't.
Not on this night.
I'll make some tea.
- Cookies.
- Oh yes!
You must help me find Gunner.
I have to find Gunner.
He was the one.
It'll never end.
We're trapped here forever.
We're all going to die,
trapped here under
the dark moon.
Well, we all have
to die sometime.
You say it like you think
we're going to die now.
Because we are going to die now.
People are dropping like flies,
and one by one they're
being murdered,
until the last one
alive kills himself,
just like Morgan Mayhew.
Well, I am not dying tonight.
I am going to find Gunner.
I told her.
I told you all.
We're all cursed.
I hate to ask, do you,
do you guys have
any guns?
I mean, to defend yourselves,
in case something
comes to the door?
Oh, I don't hold with guns.
Heavens, no.
We'd probably blow
our brains out.
Accidentally.
By accident.
I am so glad you guys are here.
There, there, dear.
Have an almond cookie.
It's my special recipe.
It's delicious.
Thank you.
No, no, thank you.
I can't eat anything.
Imagine how we feel,
living up here all alone.
Olivia? Olivia?
Olivia! Olivia!
You poisoned our tea.
Oh, we wouldn't poison the tea.
Everybody's drinking tea.
You poisoned the cookies?
It's my special recipe.
I put in extra cyanide.
Almonds have cyanide, you know.
It enhances the
flavor of the cookie.
One day, I'll eat one.
You fucking bitch!
You bitch!
Which one?
Both of you!
You just killed her?
You killed Olivia?
Oh, that's not fair.
I didn't poison
the almond cookies.
Manners must be taught.
Rules must be obeyed.
We mustn't open
the door after dark.
Never on the night
of the blood moon.
Let go! Let go!
Godammit! God!
Crazy old chickens, someone
ought to wring your neck!
Oh, have a cookie, Millicent.
Soon. Someday soon.
Tony! Tony, oh, Tony!
I fear he did not fare well.
Are you making a dining joke?
That's macabre, dog.
Where've you been?
This man's been torn to
shreds and you make jokes?
I have been dead for
the past 148 years.
I have to end this, or
we'll be trapped here.
What do you mean?
If the spell isn't broken,
we'll be trapped here
until we're all dead.
We're outside of
everything here,
completely alone,
removed from even
the mind of God.
I wanted to talk to Frank
about that lottery ticket.
A freaking lottery ticket?
You raised the dead
for a lottery ticket?
Did he have it?
No.
Hmm, tough luck.
We can't go on to
the next cycle of years
until the spell is broken.
Until then, we're
not even in reality.
Anything is possible.
Anything.
How do we break the spell?
I don't know, but I'm gonna try.
That means
it didn't work, right?
Hey, Sally, hold on,
be careful out there!
It must be something else.
It wasn't the calendar stone.
That's a waste of a good body.
It must be Morgan.
Great-Uncle Morgan Mayhew.
I've always felt strangely
connected to him.
I look just like him.
What's it mean?
Where's the body?
Are you enjoying the party?
Kill me!
My body!
I know how you feel.
Burn my body!
Oh, I've had a night, too.
Burn my body!
Have a good night.
Oh my god!
Oh my god!
Great-Uncle Morgan!
He was rolled up in the carpet?
For 92 years.
After all this
time, I did not even notice.
What do we do?
I do not know.
Let's burn the body.
What about that
witch's spell book?
I was a ballerina, you know.
I loved to dance.
I know you loved to dance.
Do you need a ride to go home?
I'm Mirabelle Mayhew.
Morgan Mayhew was my husband.
You look good, Morgan.
The years have been good to you.
He stole all that money.
I didn't want to have anything
more to do to with him.
I tried to leave Morgan,
but he forced me to
move into the mansion.
I fought him that first night.
It's a nightmare
that's never left me.
You fought Morgan Mayhew,
and all that blood
all over the house?
That was Morgan's.
He suffered in the end.
I was a very strong ballet
dancer once upon a time.
My god, you must be...
112 years old.
I've waited a long time.
I lived because I knew I
was needed on this night.
I saw him in visions.
Each year, it grew stronger.
Morgan set powerful
forces in play
when he built this mansion.
Then why on you?
I kept it for luck.
Happy anniversary, darling.
Sally, Sally,
don't let go of me.
I won't! I'll
never let go, Bruce!
Mirabelle, my love.
Well, it's been fun.
Is it too late for a nightcap?
No, ma'am, it's not
too late for a nightcap.
It's an honor to know you
and be in your presence.
That was weird.
I've never seen
anything like it.
Nonsense, this is nothing.
But look at that skeleton.
It has bite marks on its bones.
I was in Afghanistan.
Now, keep an eye to business.
We've gotta get these folks into
the crematorium before sundown.
Hey!
What are you
stumbling around for?
Get on clean-up detail!
I don't want this
place stinking of
pain, flesh, and demons.
Get to it.
It looks like a slip-and-fall
accident right there.
OK.
That's kitchen accident.
Freezer burn.
Cardiac arrest right there.
That one,
we'll come back to that one.
Oh, oh my god, that
one's still alive.
Hunting accident.
It's a tragedy.
A terrible, terrible tragedy.
I'll say.
But it all worked
out in the end.
What?
I got a dump that's on
the real estate market
at a very attractive
price today,
so get to it.
I can't find Trixie's body.
Oh well.
It was a hell of a party,
and I ended up a
richer man for it,
so I'm not going to dock her fee
for dying on the job.
I am in a generous,
generous mood.
Why, thank you, Mr. Murphy.
You're welcome.
I really appreciate it.
Very, very much.
It's a beautiful day.
Foul, that was most foul,
number 37.
OK, calm down, Bruce.
It's only a game.
Didn't you get
any rest last night?
Baby, you look half dead.
Do I?
I'm trying to be more alive.
I wish they'd stop showing that.
What's going on?
Is it war?
When is it not?
Thank God we live in Iowa,
where nothing bad ever happens.
No, nothing bad
ever happens here.
Who cares what's going on
halfway around the world?
Frankly, I'm sick of it.
What are these?
Let me see those.
I thought that would be the end.
What am I supposed to do now?
Driving up to a house this big
Wondering what could
be inside of this thing
For a million dollars
you could have it all
But a night in hell
makes your skin crawl
You didn't ask for
what you will receive
A night where you'll wish
you didn't see what you've seen
This has all been done before
When the Mayhew's
body hit the floor
This wasn't asked for,
why is this happening
Give in to the things
that make you shake
'Cause you're trapped in
You try to keep running away
But there's nowhere to
hide, I can always find you
'Cause I've seen
inside of your head
I know all of your fears
and they're coming to get you
All that's left
is pain and sorrow
That comes raining down
in my mansion of blood
And the fear that
there's no tomorrow
That comes raining down
in my mansion of blood
Demons running
through your head
Zombie cannibals
tearing at your flesh
Witchcraft in the
dead of the night
Summoning ghosts
and all poltergeists
You can run but
there's nowhere to hide
Evil coming after you
to take away your life
One move and
you're on the floor
You'll be begging
at your mercy
While the devil's at your door
This wasn't asked for,
why is this happening
Give in to the things
that make you shake
'Cause you're trapped there
You try to keep running away
But there's nowhere to
hide, I can always find you
'Cause I've seen
inside of your head
I know all of your fears
and they're coming to get you
All that's left
is pain and sorrow
That comes raining down
in my mansion of blood
And the fear that
there's no tomorrow
That comes raining down
in my mansion of blood
You try to keep running away
But there's nowhere to
hide, I can always find you
'Cause I've seen
inside of your head
I know all of your fears
and they're coming to get you
All that's left
is pain and sorrow
That comes raining down
in my mansion of blood
And the fear that
there's no tomorrow
That comes raining down
in my mansion of blood