Margarita, with a Straw (2014) Movie Script
Papa, I want money.
For what?
As compensation for listening
to such a bad song!
Monu, I'll give you a lot of money...
Just listen to this next song!
Papa, Please stop!
I don't want your money.
Bye, Papa.
Is that girl in your class?
Why?
Don't be jealous.
I'll only marry you.
Shut up Dhruv!
You're saying shut up
because your eyeline is wrong.
Not bad!
You pervert!
Careful!
Come on lift!
Just a little bit further.
Do you guys do any work?
Bloody elevator is also not working!
Demand a Right to Information enquiry!
The Principal is corrupt.
Come on.
Don't keep putting it down.
Come on.
Let's get this over with.
So tell...what else happened
in college today?
She hung out with her boyfriend.
What else!
Shut up Monu!
Chill Sis!
Don't be shy in front of Mom!
Monu. Dhruv is not her boyfriend!
Can't one make a joke around here!
What's the problem with you two?
If you don't finish your homework -
the TV is not coming on.
Welcome. Welcome.
What would you like?
Lingerie?
I also have tongs (thongs).
Black laces, red laces...
Purple, green, fluorescent colors...
Don't worry.
You can get anything here.
From a needle to an aeroplane!
I can arrange anything.
Uncle. We don't want an aeroplane...!
- What do you want?
Do you have a vibrator?
Of course!
What model do you want?
Soft, hard, medium?
A phone without a
vibration unit is useless!
I've put my own wife on a vibrator!
She never hears the phone ring!
Show her a vibration unit.
What's the model number of your phone?
Where are you taking me?
Since when did you
become a Bio student?
What?
Oh my god!
Go...Yeah!
Even at this age getting cake
smeared on my birthday!
We should jam.
Yes definitely.
Tell me when?
You can come to my house...
Anytime.
What?
Nothing.
Come to your house...
...to jam?
Definitely.
When?
Anytime!
Hey Nima!
Come out dude.
One, two, three, four...go!
Just a minute.
Somethings not right.
Aunty. The poha's yummy.
Sameera, have you been playing guitar
since you were a child?
No Aunty.
Just the last couple of years.
Laila has been learning music
since she was seven.
Sameera, has Laila played you any
of her classical compositions?
Mom!
Practice!
Call me if you want anything.
I'm sorry.
Chill. All moms are like this.
Mom!!
Napkins!
Okay. Maybe we should do a song...
Aai, Aai, Aai...
Sis!
Let me sleep.
You'll take a kid's life!
Laila...
You're a rock star!
I love it.
Thank you.
I'll see you tomorrow.
Okay definitely, Laila.
We'll try it with
the band tomorrow.
Okay.
Bye.
Bye Laila.
What?
Trying to fob me off with an SMS.
No.
Don't you think
we should explore other...
Explore?
Am I just an experiment to you?
Please.
Forget it.
It's a great idea!
Okay.
Bye.
Because it sucked.
Yeah?
-Yeah.
Fuck you.
Oh fuck you.
And your stupid friends.
Jealous.
Being friends with normal people
won't make you normal.
Asshole.
Coward.
Mom.
Shampoo.
I just shampooed you yesterday.
Please just do it Mom.
Who's going to start a fight with you
first thing in the morning!
Mom...
Nothing.
Tell me!
No.
Okay. Don't tell.
You'll get a tummy ache!
Mom.
I like this boy.
He's also into music...
Mom!
Did you hear?
Yes. That's great.
Hi.
You want a book?
No.
Nima. I have something for you.
Sorry.
What is it? Give it to me.
Later.
Shhh.
What a competition!
It was too close.
Okay without delay.
The winners are...
...Ramjas College!
This competition is a milestone.
It's not just about music.
When we heard that the lyricist was
a disabled girl...
...we had to give
the award to her college.
Your journey...
...must have been very difficult
compared to that of a normal musician...
Will you share something with us?
It's okay. What can you
expect from those fuckers?
Laila, this is Tribe's best song.
Maybe Subbu's song was better.
Trust me Laila. You did a great job.
We totally deserved to win. Okay?
When you're there
everything's okay.
The entire bands here for you.
No Nima.
You.
Just you.
Everyone's waiting for us.
Come.
Yeah.
I'll just come.
Careful!
When was the last check up?
Six months ago.
Hopeless!
Excuse me?
- Sorry, I wasn't talking to you.
Completely ignorant.
Just blabbering nonsense.
As soon as Laila gets admission
to any foreign university...
...I'll personally phone
her and tell her...
...who's normal and
who needs brain surgery!
Why do you jump to foreign
universities at the drop of a hat?
I made a fool of myself.
It was not just your song.
He doesn't love me Mom.
I can't bear going
to this college anymore.
Come outside.
Why?
Just come.
Mom!
Papa!
Only your mother.
I don't support this.
Why?
What happened in Delhi
University is over.
To go so far away to America...
...it doesn't sit well with me.
And Delhi has other options.
Mom?
Do you want to go?
Don't look there.
You want to go right?
Of course.
You don't come.
The two of us are definitely going!
Please Papa.
It's one pound over.
That's okay.
With great difficulty I've squeezed
one month's clothing into two suitcases!
Anyway they're not going to charge me
for being one pound overweight!
If they make you repack at the airport -
don't say I didn't warn you!
If you have such a glum face
they'll definitely open them!
One minute.
I'll just be back.
Hello Shubhangani. How are you?
Are you done with packing?
-Yes.
Hi Dhruv.
-Hi
This is for you.
-Oh thank you.
Come inside.
Hi.
You were leaving without saying bye?
Bitch!
Rook to H5.
Hey!
Sorry.
It's okay you can watch.
Just keep your trap shut!
Yeah.
Put it on manual...
it's stuck!
I'm going to tell you right up...
I don't do bottoms!
Excuse me?
I've had some Indian kids before...
You've got to wipe your own ass honey...
I'll just pour the water!
I was just wondering,
if you have any experience with...
...someone with cerebral palsy?
I hope you understand, it is just
the motor skills that are affected...
...and not the intelligence...
I'm quite aware of what
cerebral palsy is actually.
You don't have to worry at all...
Mrs. Kapoor?
Kapoor pronounced cup not cap.
Cup.
Take this.
Be home by 4.
Or I'll call the cops!
Don't worry Aai.
Bye.
Bye.
Hey. How're you doing?
Hi.
Come on back.
I have a place all
set up for you on the left.
Where you headed?
Union Square.
Say that again please.
Union Square!
Okay, okay Union Square.
You got it.
Write from your heart...
Write from your eyes...
Write from your liver!
Okay. So what we're going to do
is have an assignment...
...in which you're going to write
from all your senses. Okay?
I'm gonna give you the parameters...
You're going to write a story...
a poem...
...rap Song--
Okay so write these down.
It is...
...New Year's Eve.
You're on a boat.
You hear the sound of a cello.
You taste an orange.
Someone is wearing blue.
And you tell a loved one...
...a very personal secret.
No hiding!
All right you have ten minutes. Go!
Hello Laila.
- Hi.
So welcome to the
Creative Writing program.
I'm so glad you could be here with us.
Thank you, Professor.
It's Jose. it's just Jose.
Okay Jose.
Listen. Would you like me
to assign a writer to you?
In fact I've already talked
to somebody.
Actually I can type...
I am sorry what did you say?
That would be wonderful!
Yeah.
You know...
I have an aunt in Birmingham.
I wish I had an aunt in India!
You know I really want to go there.
My dream place is Varanasi.
How come?
My step dad's guru is from there.
He came to visit us one time.
He emanated such peace.
It's anything but peaceful!
Really?
You could stay with us
if you come to India.
Are you serious?
That would be absolutely amazing.
Listen...Laila, I should probably go.
Yeah. You have to...
I have to go too.
But I'll see you soon okay?
Bye.
Bye Laila.
We'll go home now and cut your nails.
They've grown too long.
I'm going now to check out the clubs.
Clubs?
-Student clubs.
You've missed a whole semester.
Let's go home now and study.
Mom. I know when I need to study!
Sixteen-year-old Ronnie Martin
was killed by the NYPD.
For only one reason.
He was black.
Fuck the police!
Fuck the police!
These cops are even more dangerous
than the Delhi police!
This is nothing.
Are you from India?
You think all desis are from India.
I didn't mean...
l...I'm sorry...
My mother is from Pakistan.
And my father from Bangladesh.
I've lived in seven countries,
including Madagascar!
Wow.
It's actually quite cool.
That you came out for this.
Usually Indians don't.
I'm Laila.
Khanum.
I'll see you tonight.
Yeah. Cool.
Mom.
Khanum.
This is Aai, my Mom.
Hello Mom.
Hello.
Lailu, why don't you
invite your friend over?
Khanum, come for dinner.
Mom I'd love to.
But I have a paper due tomorrow.
Come over anytime before I leave.
Definitely.
Bye Laila.
Bye.
This way.
Thank you.
Let's go.
Mom.
Hey. How's it going?
Good.
I'm sorry I'm late.
I got held up at lunch.
So. Do you wanna get started?
Yeah.
Okay.
Have you chosen a topic
for the assignment?
I want to talk about
my first relationship.
Yeah.
Yeah.
There's this guy Nima...
When I fell in love with him...
...it was like...
...electricity...you know!
Yeah, yeah. I do know yeah.
Yeah.
And the first time he...
...touched me...
You mean you've had sex?
Was that your...girlfriend?
Who?
The girl you were lip locked
with just now.
No. No. She's just a friend.
Wow.
Is kissing in India a big deal?
Well you don't smooch your friends,
that's for sure!
Oh so if I kiss you
I'd have to marry you then?
No.
Hello.
Hi, It's Laila.
I was just wondering
what you are up to?
Yeah that would be great.
Okay.
Bye.
Come inside.
I'm looking for Miles Davis...
Speeches of Spain?
Okay, we should have that.
Give me one second.
May I help you Miss?
I'm okay.
Where are you from?
India.
Wow! Let me show you something
I think you'll really like.
WOW!
How much is it?
Well I can give you 10% off...
so that would make it only 749 dollars...
...which is a really good deal!
I wish...
I'm on a scholarship.
Let me go talk to my manager
and I'll see what I can do for you.
Ask him for...
...50% off!
I don't know if I can do 50%.
But I like you. So I'll see what I can do!
Yeah.
This is my secret haunts.
Close your eyes you will see better.
These are the three concentric circles.
This is a depiction of the world.
It is encircled by a beautiful
naked figure of a woman...
...the sky goddess Nut.
Whose body is bent protectively
over the world.
Relax!
Until now only you have seen me.
Let me see you too.
Bitch!
What?
Dude you are so pretty.
So pretty that I feel like cursing you!
I didn't know you play chess?
Check.
You're next to get beaten.
Just like everybody else out here!
Your turn.
You're too much! You are too much!
Pass my costume.
Come let's get you changed.
Ballu.
There's such amazing snowfall here.
And the room cozy and warm
with central heating.
Remember I told you about Khanum?
She's a very helpful girl.
Tonight Lailu's going for a study
sleep over at her house.
Hi. What can I get you?
Can I have a house white please?
Sure.
A coke.
What?
You think this is McDonalds?
Have a drink!
I've never had one...
Why don't you look at our cocktail list?
Our Pina Coladas are really popular.
We have Sex on the Beach, Mojitos,
Manhattans... Anything you like.
Can I have a...
Margarita?
With a straw.
Great choice. Okay, coming right up!
Have you ever dated?
Why would anyone date me?
Why do you put yourself down
all the time?
Let me do it for you!
Because that has been my experience.
For the last time...
You are very beautiful.
Okay! One white wine and
a Margarita, with a straw, for you.
Thank you.
You 're very welcome.
Thank you.
Can I get you some wine?
No. I have a headache.
You need one exotic head massage.
And by mistake if I strangle you,
forgive my blindness!
Lailu! Thats enough time in the bath!
Mom!
There's no end to the hot water here!
Will you come out?
Why?
Where's your gold chain?
It must have fallen off.
It had such a strong clasp.
How can it just fall off?
It's not in the bathroom either.
The caregiver must have taken it!
We trust these people
and they take advantage.
I'm going to phone her right now. Maybe
that's why she didn't come to work today.
Mom...
No Lailu.
It can only be her.
I pawned it!
What?
I bought an IPad.
It's really cool.
It even has a voice activator.
It was your grandmother's chain!
What's happened to you Lailu?
But I wanted it for my studies...
Studies?
Surfing porn sites is studying?!
You should be ashamed of yourself.
How dare you?
This is my privacy.
Privacy? You want privacy from me?!
I'll slap you if you talk to me like that.
Move in with me.
And what should I tell my parents?
Even in their wildest dreams
they wouldn't guess that we're lovers!
I will miss you Mom.
Bye.
- Bye.
Oh fuck!
Keep the place.
The University pays for it anyway.
Always have a place of your own, so no
motherfucker can put you on the street.
Give me the address.
I'll go there tomorrow morning.
Oh ifs okay.
Khanum can take care of me.
That's a big no no. People don't like
to be carers and lovers at the same time.
Besides...
That would put me out of work.
You can stay here while I'm gone...
if you like.
After all this renovation you better not
break up with me for at least 2 years!
Do you want lip gloss?
Yes.
Lailu. Come home in
the summer break.
Did you just win the lottery?
I still haven't repaid the
debt of your outgoing flight...
...so might as well add the cost of
another flight to it!
Happy Holi Papa.
Hello Mom.
How are you Khanum?
I'm good. Thanks.
Why don't you also
come to India with Laila?
I really want to come Mom.
But Laila never invites me!
What happened?
Nothing.
I'll definitely come now!
Just pray to Allah that I get my visa.
You must come.
Yes.
Where's Monu?
In the bathroom. As always!
Here you go. Your receipt's in the bag.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
Don't move anything around.
When did you figure out...
that..
You know..
...you're gay?
Your body is perfect.
You could be a model.
Have you ever seen a model who's blind?
I've known I'm gay
since I was fourteen.
Wow.
I wish I could be that certain.
You know I was okay
with the realisation.
But the main problem
was parents and relatives.
You have to lie all the time. And then
spend hours feeling guilty about lying.
Just wasn't my thing.
So I told them.
Then? What happened?
My mother kissed me...
...and hugged me!
No way!
Of course not.
There was a full scale drama!
First there were slaps...
...then emotional blackmail...
...counseling...
...howling...weeping.
Then?
My mother took me to a doctor...
As if I had some disease
that could be cured.
Oh god.
When all her efforts failed
she finally
...stopped talking to me.
Is she still angry with you?
Last week after
she'd had a fight with my Dad...
...she phoned me and said...
Thank God you will never ever have to
deal with men!
My parents would have a heart attack!
For me I just like to be
who I am all the time.
This is scary for me.
It's wonderful...
...but so scary.
It's tipping down with rain!
You can do some
work too you know!
No. Now that I know you can type so well...
and were conning me all this while...!
It's because I...
...I thought you were cute!
So you don't think I'm cute any more?
Now I have a...
...I'm with someone.
30?
Can I use your bathroom?
Yeah, ifs just on the left.
Oh. I should help you.
Okay.
Okay. I'm done.
Can I straighten your leg?
Yeah.
Just relax okay?
I'm feeling shit scared.
Scared? Don't worry.
Yeah.
I have bad news for you.
What?
The Indian government
has denied my visa.
I've got the visa and the ticket!
Here Comes the Bride.....
Maharashtrian eggplant!
Again?
So what?
Nothing.
No. Go ahead.
Just say it!
What should I say?
It might even be possible
to see a lion eating grass...
But to see a Punjabi
eating this stuff everyday...!
Can't show my face in the community!
So you should have
married that Punjabi girl...
Can't remember her name.
Harneet.
Yes. Harneet!
She could make you
your roti and butter chicken!
Khanum my child.
Tell me - what's wrong with this?
It's really yummy.
Heard?
Did you hear?
Yes. I heard.
You should have made something else.
Are you sure?
Yes. She is.
That's great.
Evolved choice.
How will you have kids?
Get with the century, dude!
If Aunty finds out - there'll not just be
bomb blasts but serial blasts!
Mom's not like that at all!
I've known Aunty for 540 years!
Don't under estimate her.
Mom is a 'rockstar'
She is way ahead of my own ammi.
And I came out to her.
Mom. I'm Bi.
Am I any less of a maid (Bai)?
What?!
No matter how educated Indian men are,
at some level women are just maids!
Look at your own father.
Come what may -
he just wants my cooking.
They should be lined up
and made to wash clothes!
Really Lailu.
I'm not joking.
I know!
Mom!
I love you, Mom.
Love you too.
Mom...
You look like a heroine
with your short hair.
You know that thing I was
saying about being Bi...
Now you're well and truly a maid.
Because of me.
Give.
I meant...
Bisexual.
Bi...what?
What does it mean?
I love Khanum, Mom.
Yes. We all love her.
She's so nice.
Khanum's my girlfriend!
Yuck.
Not done Mom.
You're being a hypocrite.
Who's put this in your head?
There's nothing hypocritical here.
Of course there is!
Don't argue Laila.
This isn't normal.
That's what the world said
about me too.
What's your problem now?
Ask!
You ask.
No. You.
Monu's insisting on being taken
to the cricket match!
If we don't buy the tickets today
there'll be none left.
Ask your mother.
What can I say!
Mom. Please!
I've even finished studying.
This is Khanum's first trip to India...
How can we let her go
without watching a cricket match!
Mom!
Papa. Now you handle it!
What can I do!
Monu. Play gently.
Play-
Go Khanum!
-Play.
Where's Mom?
She's inside.
The doctor said we can see her soon.
Why has she been admitted?
Your mother has colon cancer.
Second stage. Relapse.
Your mother's a fighter.
She will definitely beat it.
One of you has to wait outside.
Okay.
Sorry.
Nothing will happen.
Go back to America.
How's Khanum?
Okay?
-Yeah.
I'm sorry Khanum.
You're not coming back
to New York right?
I am. Definitely.
One day...in New York
At Jared's house...
While we were working...
I had sex with him.
What do you mean?
When we were together?
Once.
How could you?
I wasn't thinking.
I was confused...
I know what I did was wrong.
So by fucking you, Jared
gave you a certificate of normalcy?
No.
It happened in the moment.
-How convenient .
Jared could see me.
That's why.
You used me!
To take care of you...
...Fill your loneliness.
So I was a stopgap till
you could find a boyfriend right?
No Khanum.
That's not fair.
After doing all this you have the
fucking balls to call me unfair?
You should have told me then
and finished it off.
Why carry on a Charade all this while?
I didn't want to lose you.
Now what?
You think I won't leave because of Mom.
I don't want secrets anymore.
Laila...
What?
Lailu. My feet are feeling cold.
Nurse. Can we get
some woollen socks please?
The blanket should suffice.
Nurse. Socks! Now!
One minute, Mom.
No. Just let it be for a little longer.
Please.
Good girl, Mom.
I'm sorry. She is gone.
Papa. Can you play this for Mom?
Laila, my child,
let the rituals be over first.
Monu, get the CD.
Panditji, one moment please.
Was it really necessary to tell me?
Yes.
Khanum, Laila, hurry up!
Its getting late to go to the airport.
Your straight hair is great.
Tony, please try
something different today.
Of course!
Hi.
-Hi.
Hey listen. We're going for a movie.
Do you want to come?
Some other time.
Why?
I have a date.
Helloooo! With who?
Come
Bye.
Ma'am. Your Margarita.
Pour it into this please.
Thank you.
For what?
As compensation for listening
to such a bad song!
Monu, I'll give you a lot of money...
Just listen to this next song!
Papa, Please stop!
I don't want your money.
Bye, Papa.
Is that girl in your class?
Why?
Don't be jealous.
I'll only marry you.
Shut up Dhruv!
You're saying shut up
because your eyeline is wrong.
Not bad!
You pervert!
Careful!
Come on lift!
Just a little bit further.
Do you guys do any work?
Bloody elevator is also not working!
Demand a Right to Information enquiry!
The Principal is corrupt.
Come on.
Don't keep putting it down.
Come on.
Let's get this over with.
So tell...what else happened
in college today?
She hung out with her boyfriend.
What else!
Shut up Monu!
Chill Sis!
Don't be shy in front of Mom!
Monu. Dhruv is not her boyfriend!
Can't one make a joke around here!
What's the problem with you two?
If you don't finish your homework -
the TV is not coming on.
Welcome. Welcome.
What would you like?
Lingerie?
I also have tongs (thongs).
Black laces, red laces...
Purple, green, fluorescent colors...
Don't worry.
You can get anything here.
From a needle to an aeroplane!
I can arrange anything.
Uncle. We don't want an aeroplane...!
- What do you want?
Do you have a vibrator?
Of course!
What model do you want?
Soft, hard, medium?
A phone without a
vibration unit is useless!
I've put my own wife on a vibrator!
She never hears the phone ring!
Show her a vibration unit.
What's the model number of your phone?
Where are you taking me?
Since when did you
become a Bio student?
What?
Oh my god!
Go...Yeah!
Even at this age getting cake
smeared on my birthday!
We should jam.
Yes definitely.
Tell me when?
You can come to my house...
Anytime.
What?
Nothing.
Come to your house...
...to jam?
Definitely.
When?
Anytime!
Hey Nima!
Come out dude.
One, two, three, four...go!
Just a minute.
Somethings not right.
Aunty. The poha's yummy.
Sameera, have you been playing guitar
since you were a child?
No Aunty.
Just the last couple of years.
Laila has been learning music
since she was seven.
Sameera, has Laila played you any
of her classical compositions?
Mom!
Practice!
Call me if you want anything.
I'm sorry.
Chill. All moms are like this.
Mom!!
Napkins!
Okay. Maybe we should do a song...
Aai, Aai, Aai...
Sis!
Let me sleep.
You'll take a kid's life!
Laila...
You're a rock star!
I love it.
Thank you.
I'll see you tomorrow.
Okay definitely, Laila.
We'll try it with
the band tomorrow.
Okay.
Bye.
Bye Laila.
What?
Trying to fob me off with an SMS.
No.
Don't you think
we should explore other...
Explore?
Am I just an experiment to you?
Please.
Forget it.
It's a great idea!
Okay.
Bye.
Because it sucked.
Yeah?
-Yeah.
Fuck you.
Oh fuck you.
And your stupid friends.
Jealous.
Being friends with normal people
won't make you normal.
Asshole.
Coward.
Mom.
Shampoo.
I just shampooed you yesterday.
Please just do it Mom.
Who's going to start a fight with you
first thing in the morning!
Mom...
Nothing.
Tell me!
No.
Okay. Don't tell.
You'll get a tummy ache!
Mom.
I like this boy.
He's also into music...
Mom!
Did you hear?
Yes. That's great.
Hi.
You want a book?
No.
Nima. I have something for you.
Sorry.
What is it? Give it to me.
Later.
Shhh.
What a competition!
It was too close.
Okay without delay.
The winners are...
...Ramjas College!
This competition is a milestone.
It's not just about music.
When we heard that the lyricist was
a disabled girl...
...we had to give
the award to her college.
Your journey...
...must have been very difficult
compared to that of a normal musician...
Will you share something with us?
It's okay. What can you
expect from those fuckers?
Laila, this is Tribe's best song.
Maybe Subbu's song was better.
Trust me Laila. You did a great job.
We totally deserved to win. Okay?
When you're there
everything's okay.
The entire bands here for you.
No Nima.
You.
Just you.
Everyone's waiting for us.
Come.
Yeah.
I'll just come.
Careful!
When was the last check up?
Six months ago.
Hopeless!
Excuse me?
- Sorry, I wasn't talking to you.
Completely ignorant.
Just blabbering nonsense.
As soon as Laila gets admission
to any foreign university...
...I'll personally phone
her and tell her...
...who's normal and
who needs brain surgery!
Why do you jump to foreign
universities at the drop of a hat?
I made a fool of myself.
It was not just your song.
He doesn't love me Mom.
I can't bear going
to this college anymore.
Come outside.
Why?
Just come.
Mom!
Papa!
Only your mother.
I don't support this.
Why?
What happened in Delhi
University is over.
To go so far away to America...
...it doesn't sit well with me.
And Delhi has other options.
Mom?
Do you want to go?
Don't look there.
You want to go right?
Of course.
You don't come.
The two of us are definitely going!
Please Papa.
It's one pound over.
That's okay.
With great difficulty I've squeezed
one month's clothing into two suitcases!
Anyway they're not going to charge me
for being one pound overweight!
If they make you repack at the airport -
don't say I didn't warn you!
If you have such a glum face
they'll definitely open them!
One minute.
I'll just be back.
Hello Shubhangani. How are you?
Are you done with packing?
-Yes.
Hi Dhruv.
-Hi
This is for you.
-Oh thank you.
Come inside.
Hi.
You were leaving without saying bye?
Bitch!
Rook to H5.
Hey!
Sorry.
It's okay you can watch.
Just keep your trap shut!
Yeah.
Put it on manual...
it's stuck!
I'm going to tell you right up...
I don't do bottoms!
Excuse me?
I've had some Indian kids before...
You've got to wipe your own ass honey...
I'll just pour the water!
I was just wondering,
if you have any experience with...
...someone with cerebral palsy?
I hope you understand, it is just
the motor skills that are affected...
...and not the intelligence...
I'm quite aware of what
cerebral palsy is actually.
You don't have to worry at all...
Mrs. Kapoor?
Kapoor pronounced cup not cap.
Cup.
Take this.
Be home by 4.
Or I'll call the cops!
Don't worry Aai.
Bye.
Bye.
Hey. How're you doing?
Hi.
Come on back.
I have a place all
set up for you on the left.
Where you headed?
Union Square.
Say that again please.
Union Square!
Okay, okay Union Square.
You got it.
Write from your heart...
Write from your eyes...
Write from your liver!
Okay. So what we're going to do
is have an assignment...
...in which you're going to write
from all your senses. Okay?
I'm gonna give you the parameters...
You're going to write a story...
a poem...
...rap Song--
Okay so write these down.
It is...
...New Year's Eve.
You're on a boat.
You hear the sound of a cello.
You taste an orange.
Someone is wearing blue.
And you tell a loved one...
...a very personal secret.
No hiding!
All right you have ten minutes. Go!
Hello Laila.
- Hi.
So welcome to the
Creative Writing program.
I'm so glad you could be here with us.
Thank you, Professor.
It's Jose. it's just Jose.
Okay Jose.
Listen. Would you like me
to assign a writer to you?
In fact I've already talked
to somebody.
Actually I can type...
I am sorry what did you say?
That would be wonderful!
Yeah.
You know...
I have an aunt in Birmingham.
I wish I had an aunt in India!
You know I really want to go there.
My dream place is Varanasi.
How come?
My step dad's guru is from there.
He came to visit us one time.
He emanated such peace.
It's anything but peaceful!
Really?
You could stay with us
if you come to India.
Are you serious?
That would be absolutely amazing.
Listen...Laila, I should probably go.
Yeah. You have to...
I have to go too.
But I'll see you soon okay?
Bye.
Bye Laila.
We'll go home now and cut your nails.
They've grown too long.
I'm going now to check out the clubs.
Clubs?
-Student clubs.
You've missed a whole semester.
Let's go home now and study.
Mom. I know when I need to study!
Sixteen-year-old Ronnie Martin
was killed by the NYPD.
For only one reason.
He was black.
Fuck the police!
Fuck the police!
These cops are even more dangerous
than the Delhi police!
This is nothing.
Are you from India?
You think all desis are from India.
I didn't mean...
l...I'm sorry...
My mother is from Pakistan.
And my father from Bangladesh.
I've lived in seven countries,
including Madagascar!
Wow.
It's actually quite cool.
That you came out for this.
Usually Indians don't.
I'm Laila.
Khanum.
I'll see you tonight.
Yeah. Cool.
Mom.
Khanum.
This is Aai, my Mom.
Hello Mom.
Hello.
Lailu, why don't you
invite your friend over?
Khanum, come for dinner.
Mom I'd love to.
But I have a paper due tomorrow.
Come over anytime before I leave.
Definitely.
Bye Laila.
Bye.
This way.
Thank you.
Let's go.
Mom.
Hey. How's it going?
Good.
I'm sorry I'm late.
I got held up at lunch.
So. Do you wanna get started?
Yeah.
Okay.
Have you chosen a topic
for the assignment?
I want to talk about
my first relationship.
Yeah.
Yeah.
There's this guy Nima...
When I fell in love with him...
...it was like...
...electricity...you know!
Yeah, yeah. I do know yeah.
Yeah.
And the first time he...
...touched me...
You mean you've had sex?
Was that your...girlfriend?
Who?
The girl you were lip locked
with just now.
No. No. She's just a friend.
Wow.
Is kissing in India a big deal?
Well you don't smooch your friends,
that's for sure!
Oh so if I kiss you
I'd have to marry you then?
No.
Hello.
Hi, It's Laila.
I was just wondering
what you are up to?
Yeah that would be great.
Okay.
Bye.
Come inside.
I'm looking for Miles Davis...
Speeches of Spain?
Okay, we should have that.
Give me one second.
May I help you Miss?
I'm okay.
Where are you from?
India.
Wow! Let me show you something
I think you'll really like.
WOW!
How much is it?
Well I can give you 10% off...
so that would make it only 749 dollars...
...which is a really good deal!
I wish...
I'm on a scholarship.
Let me go talk to my manager
and I'll see what I can do for you.
Ask him for...
...50% off!
I don't know if I can do 50%.
But I like you. So I'll see what I can do!
Yeah.
This is my secret haunts.
Close your eyes you will see better.
These are the three concentric circles.
This is a depiction of the world.
It is encircled by a beautiful
naked figure of a woman...
...the sky goddess Nut.
Whose body is bent protectively
over the world.
Relax!
Until now only you have seen me.
Let me see you too.
Bitch!
What?
Dude you are so pretty.
So pretty that I feel like cursing you!
I didn't know you play chess?
Check.
You're next to get beaten.
Just like everybody else out here!
Your turn.
You're too much! You are too much!
Pass my costume.
Come let's get you changed.
Ballu.
There's such amazing snowfall here.
And the room cozy and warm
with central heating.
Remember I told you about Khanum?
She's a very helpful girl.
Tonight Lailu's going for a study
sleep over at her house.
Hi. What can I get you?
Can I have a house white please?
Sure.
A coke.
What?
You think this is McDonalds?
Have a drink!
I've never had one...
Why don't you look at our cocktail list?
Our Pina Coladas are really popular.
We have Sex on the Beach, Mojitos,
Manhattans... Anything you like.
Can I have a...
Margarita?
With a straw.
Great choice. Okay, coming right up!
Have you ever dated?
Why would anyone date me?
Why do you put yourself down
all the time?
Let me do it for you!
Because that has been my experience.
For the last time...
You are very beautiful.
Okay! One white wine and
a Margarita, with a straw, for you.
Thank you.
You 're very welcome.
Thank you.
Can I get you some wine?
No. I have a headache.
You need one exotic head massage.
And by mistake if I strangle you,
forgive my blindness!
Lailu! Thats enough time in the bath!
Mom!
There's no end to the hot water here!
Will you come out?
Why?
Where's your gold chain?
It must have fallen off.
It had such a strong clasp.
How can it just fall off?
It's not in the bathroom either.
The caregiver must have taken it!
We trust these people
and they take advantage.
I'm going to phone her right now. Maybe
that's why she didn't come to work today.
Mom...
No Lailu.
It can only be her.
I pawned it!
What?
I bought an IPad.
It's really cool.
It even has a voice activator.
It was your grandmother's chain!
What's happened to you Lailu?
But I wanted it for my studies...
Studies?
Surfing porn sites is studying?!
You should be ashamed of yourself.
How dare you?
This is my privacy.
Privacy? You want privacy from me?!
I'll slap you if you talk to me like that.
Move in with me.
And what should I tell my parents?
Even in their wildest dreams
they wouldn't guess that we're lovers!
I will miss you Mom.
Bye.
- Bye.
Oh fuck!
Keep the place.
The University pays for it anyway.
Always have a place of your own, so no
motherfucker can put you on the street.
Give me the address.
I'll go there tomorrow morning.
Oh ifs okay.
Khanum can take care of me.
That's a big no no. People don't like
to be carers and lovers at the same time.
Besides...
That would put me out of work.
You can stay here while I'm gone...
if you like.
After all this renovation you better not
break up with me for at least 2 years!
Do you want lip gloss?
Yes.
Lailu. Come home in
the summer break.
Did you just win the lottery?
I still haven't repaid the
debt of your outgoing flight...
...so might as well add the cost of
another flight to it!
Happy Holi Papa.
Hello Mom.
How are you Khanum?
I'm good. Thanks.
Why don't you also
come to India with Laila?
I really want to come Mom.
But Laila never invites me!
What happened?
Nothing.
I'll definitely come now!
Just pray to Allah that I get my visa.
You must come.
Yes.
Where's Monu?
In the bathroom. As always!
Here you go. Your receipt's in the bag.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
Don't move anything around.
When did you figure out...
that..
You know..
...you're gay?
Your body is perfect.
You could be a model.
Have you ever seen a model who's blind?
I've known I'm gay
since I was fourteen.
Wow.
I wish I could be that certain.
You know I was okay
with the realisation.
But the main problem
was parents and relatives.
You have to lie all the time. And then
spend hours feeling guilty about lying.
Just wasn't my thing.
So I told them.
Then? What happened?
My mother kissed me...
...and hugged me!
No way!
Of course not.
There was a full scale drama!
First there were slaps...
...then emotional blackmail...
...counseling...
...howling...weeping.
Then?
My mother took me to a doctor...
As if I had some disease
that could be cured.
Oh god.
When all her efforts failed
she finally
...stopped talking to me.
Is she still angry with you?
Last week after
she'd had a fight with my Dad...
...she phoned me and said...
Thank God you will never ever have to
deal with men!
My parents would have a heart attack!
For me I just like to be
who I am all the time.
This is scary for me.
It's wonderful...
...but so scary.
It's tipping down with rain!
You can do some
work too you know!
No. Now that I know you can type so well...
and were conning me all this while...!
It's because I...
...I thought you were cute!
So you don't think I'm cute any more?
Now I have a...
...I'm with someone.
30?
Can I use your bathroom?
Yeah, ifs just on the left.
Oh. I should help you.
Okay.
Okay. I'm done.
Can I straighten your leg?
Yeah.
Just relax okay?
I'm feeling shit scared.
Scared? Don't worry.
Yeah.
I have bad news for you.
What?
The Indian government
has denied my visa.
I've got the visa and the ticket!
Here Comes the Bride.....
Maharashtrian eggplant!
Again?
So what?
Nothing.
No. Go ahead.
Just say it!
What should I say?
It might even be possible
to see a lion eating grass...
But to see a Punjabi
eating this stuff everyday...!
Can't show my face in the community!
So you should have
married that Punjabi girl...
Can't remember her name.
Harneet.
Yes. Harneet!
She could make you
your roti and butter chicken!
Khanum my child.
Tell me - what's wrong with this?
It's really yummy.
Heard?
Did you hear?
Yes. I heard.
You should have made something else.
Are you sure?
Yes. She is.
That's great.
Evolved choice.
How will you have kids?
Get with the century, dude!
If Aunty finds out - there'll not just be
bomb blasts but serial blasts!
Mom's not like that at all!
I've known Aunty for 540 years!
Don't under estimate her.
Mom is a 'rockstar'
She is way ahead of my own ammi.
And I came out to her.
Mom. I'm Bi.
Am I any less of a maid (Bai)?
What?!
No matter how educated Indian men are,
at some level women are just maids!
Look at your own father.
Come what may -
he just wants my cooking.
They should be lined up
and made to wash clothes!
Really Lailu.
I'm not joking.
I know!
Mom!
I love you, Mom.
Love you too.
Mom...
You look like a heroine
with your short hair.
You know that thing I was
saying about being Bi...
Now you're well and truly a maid.
Because of me.
Give.
I meant...
Bisexual.
Bi...what?
What does it mean?
I love Khanum, Mom.
Yes. We all love her.
She's so nice.
Khanum's my girlfriend!
Yuck.
Not done Mom.
You're being a hypocrite.
Who's put this in your head?
There's nothing hypocritical here.
Of course there is!
Don't argue Laila.
This isn't normal.
That's what the world said
about me too.
What's your problem now?
Ask!
You ask.
No. You.
Monu's insisting on being taken
to the cricket match!
If we don't buy the tickets today
there'll be none left.
Ask your mother.
What can I say!
Mom. Please!
I've even finished studying.
This is Khanum's first trip to India...
How can we let her go
without watching a cricket match!
Mom!
Papa. Now you handle it!
What can I do!
Monu. Play gently.
Play-
Go Khanum!
-Play.
Where's Mom?
She's inside.
The doctor said we can see her soon.
Why has she been admitted?
Your mother has colon cancer.
Second stage. Relapse.
Your mother's a fighter.
She will definitely beat it.
One of you has to wait outside.
Okay.
Sorry.
Nothing will happen.
Go back to America.
How's Khanum?
Okay?
-Yeah.
I'm sorry Khanum.
You're not coming back
to New York right?
I am. Definitely.
One day...in New York
At Jared's house...
While we were working...
I had sex with him.
What do you mean?
When we were together?
Once.
How could you?
I wasn't thinking.
I was confused...
I know what I did was wrong.
So by fucking you, Jared
gave you a certificate of normalcy?
No.
It happened in the moment.
-How convenient .
Jared could see me.
That's why.
You used me!
To take care of you...
...Fill your loneliness.
So I was a stopgap till
you could find a boyfriend right?
No Khanum.
That's not fair.
After doing all this you have the
fucking balls to call me unfair?
You should have told me then
and finished it off.
Why carry on a Charade all this while?
I didn't want to lose you.
Now what?
You think I won't leave because of Mom.
I don't want secrets anymore.
Laila...
What?
Lailu. My feet are feeling cold.
Nurse. Can we get
some woollen socks please?
The blanket should suffice.
Nurse. Socks! Now!
One minute, Mom.
No. Just let it be for a little longer.
Please.
Good girl, Mom.
I'm sorry. She is gone.
Papa. Can you play this for Mom?
Laila, my child,
let the rituals be over first.
Monu, get the CD.
Panditji, one moment please.
Was it really necessary to tell me?
Yes.
Khanum, Laila, hurry up!
Its getting late to go to the airport.
Your straight hair is great.
Tony, please try
something different today.
Of course!
Hi.
-Hi.
Hey listen. We're going for a movie.
Do you want to come?
Some other time.
Why?
I have a date.
Helloooo! With who?
Come
Bye.
Ma'am. Your Margarita.
Pour it into this please.
Thank you.