Maschi contro femmine (Men Vs Women) (2010) Movie Script
"Maschi Contro Femmine"
"Boys versus girls"
TranslationRUBELRAFSUB-Eng
Sorry ...
And 'my daughter was born Margaret
my puppy.
It 'just that everybody knows.
Excuse me a moment,
there is a mishap.
Excuse me,
Why did you put a cover
blue to my daughter Margaret,
the number 1 7?
If you can control ...
I'm curious ...
And then!
Number 1 7 ...
is a fine boy of 3.8 kg.
Congratulations!
Love,
we must take
a little more 'blue paint.
(Quietly)
Do not scream, it was just asleep.
Luckily, I was going to try
an exorcist in the Yellow Pages.
Not enough!
- Love.
- My love.
(WALTER) Listen ...
If that speech riprendessimo
we had suspended a month ago?
No, again I go
and then there's Pauline.
the children do not remember anything
the first 5 years of life.
- Bella ...
- (screaming) I told you that I'm not going!
(BAMBlNO PLANGE)
Are you happy? Bravo!
- Love, do not cry!
- Well, but ...
Barley in a large cup
with half sugar cube.
ll bartender starts to hate me!
Thanks, Renato.
- I have done, are we going?
- But it's the one!
Exactly half a day!
- Today is pest control.
- Fantastic!
Will I be able to rid
even my house!
- My panzerotto Italian!
- Are you soda!
You yes, you are soda, my Cuban!
Ramona!
Victor!
Treasure!
But you know you look like so much?
Two drops of water!
One is confused ...
Dear, do not come
to hasty conclusions!
Honey, you're right!
Love, forgive me, I am a victim
of mistaken identity!
- I love you.
- Oh yeah?
Bad!
Do not get me wrong, I was wrong!
I adore him!
Do not you remember that the diamond
I gave you for the anniversary?
It was not a gift,
was a compensation.
Excuse me.
Watch that her husband loves her ...
a lot.
Gala dinner tonight?
But you ... still open
the hunting season?
- Why do you hunt?
- Yes, 12 months a year.
Also at gunpoint,
do not miss a beat.
- I would not have thought it?
- ln fact is not true.
She is Claire, my lovely
nearby, she likes to joke.
Very pleased, Tatiana.
- Tatiana ... missing in your
collection! - What a collection you do?
Chickens.
- Why do you chase chickens?
- Of course, it is his specialty.
Him before the trumpet, and then the hunt.
- I do not understand.
- I must be more explicit?
What a shame, we arrived!
ll Time flies when you're having fun.
- Good conversation!
- Thank you.
- Male chauvinist pig!
- Frigid freak!
(ANSlMl)
(DlEGO) You're hurting me! Spring! Piano!
(TATlANA) Come on!
(TATlANA) whoops!
(DlEGO howls)
- How we live together?
- Two years and three months.
- I read it on the balance of the gas.
- And I've never seen him so down?
Six more times.
are positive:
within a couple of days, call me.
- Sure, sure.
- (LA lMlTA)''Yes, yes''...
Bet
two hours of absolute domination?
If you lose, force you
to come dressed in pink.
I'm in!
Why Daisy left you?
It 'ran away with another?
No, but you say?
There 's been in Zimbabwe to try
the true taste of Africa.
In your opinion, what is the first thing
you taste in Africa?
- It will be in bed with a vatussa.
- There are vatusse lesbians?
It 'full!
I would not stop the funeral,
but I made gazpacho.
Recipes
according to the method,''a fucking dog.''
Why this sudden blow
culinary generosity?
I do not have the money to pay rent
and I have to be nice to you.
Aha!
Let's feed
Tutankhamun also?
(ANDREA) Mom, dine with us?
- I have not eaten for two days.
- No, thanks.
I want to die, suffer a lot.
(Doppler)
After winning the Kamchatka,
I wanted to share with you
a happy moment of my life.
- Last Saturday, my mother-in-law died.
- Condolences.
I'm really sorry.
(Marcello) the first attack
Quebec Renato,
I wanted to share with you
A case report of concern.
Walter Bertocchi
no intercourse with his wife of 10 months.
- Are you kidding?
- No.
E 'against nature.
him after a week I would have done
the ozone hole!
I happen to teenagers!
It can happen.
He's right, not to be confused
abstinence Walter
with the serious illness of Renato.
You are just assholes!
Quebec And you take it in the ass!
(WALTER) I'm going crazy.
First the belly, then the nausea,
childbirth, postpartum crisis,
not to mention the drunken dwarf
we have produced.
You may not ever
fallen into temptation?
By Monica in those conditions,
You know that feeling of guilt!
I understand
because when Anna was pregnant,
I and my sense of guilt were
always together.
Then I took him to fuck
and it stopped breaking.
Every marriage
is based on the betrayal.
And in fact you have divorced.
He's right, Renato
just a bit 'of willpower.
Of course, my job does not help ...
Brave!
Stay focused, we expect
demanding a transfer.
We need to improve reception
and start immediately with the board.
And then, I tell you the last time,
you have to give it away now!
Quiet, we often give away!
Ramona, do you have in mind only one thing!
In Cuba you have not taught
that there is only about sex?
- Very nice too!
- Thank you.
We also need to be
faster in the attack,
let too much time to the other
to place the wall.
Eva is right,
if we use the same scheme
become predictable.
Sometimes we also
a nice dunk
and then penetrate ...
the opponent's defense.
Sorry ...
Come on!
Bertocchi, congratulations!
It took just a great victory,
was an exciting game.
Who says so, President!
- How's the arm?
- Best.
The next time I have to be
closer in sailing.
He was not hurt
bowling?
Yes, bowling
sailing.
E 'uncomfortable but exciting!
Mister, remember that if
we do not win anything this year,
click the magic word:
E-SW-NE-RO.
- Bravo! - Thanks for the daily
injection of confidence.
Just imagine, Bertocchi!
- Too many thoughts?
- No.
Chatter and beer?
Why
fru fru this color choice?
- Please!
- Do not called you, eh?
No, tonight is that I felt different.
(Lvan) What's up?
- At you!
- At you!
- You want another?
- No, my head is spinning already.
- Does not hold the tequila?
- It's not the tequila.
Here is the magician of the trailer!
A bit 'sad, no?
But if you go out with me after,
maybe I can think of
more pretty.
- Francesca! - Here I am!
- Go!
but if you promise to dress well
tomorrow,
I swear that I keep myself free for dinner.
Hello, Mr. Pinky!
Tomorrow, I dress myself there
by Barbapapa!
Mr. Pinky ...
So, how are you?
Your wife will be deemed a bit 'more
or is it still on the planet diaper?
It 's still on the planet diaper
but do not panic!
Regain Intimacy
As soon as the child ... has a mustache.
Meanwhile,
I can do something?
No, you do not, thank you.
- What is it?
- A little bit 'of torticollis.
By dint of seeing you play ...
Psychosomatic a stiff neck ...
Did you know that diapers also make them
with elastic side bands
system''and''keep it all inside?
Technology
has made great strides!
Once the mothers had to ...
Then I go to bed.
See you tomorrow at the gym.
- Thanks for the beer, Mister.
- Please, goodnight.
- Do not say anything.
- No, I want You're a jerk!
The basic human instinct
is the reproduction,
The young girl is more popular.
Are you a friend.
If I decide to commit suicide before
I'll call you so I take away the doubts.
- Good morning.
- Good morning.
But he did not say anything
to that pig?
It means
new works that ass!
- It cost me 3000 in cheek!
- 6,000 pair?
No, 5000, Marcello me
discount ex-wives.
How sad!
Love,
from what you do not touch my ass?
- From the high school.
- Why you're depressed.
Paola, the head is looking for you.
I go, while you do not commit suicide.
- Are you okay?
- Very good.
E 'allergy to pollen.
Allergy is very annoying,
do not take it seriously.
My wife
before his death he suffered ...
- It's not that she died of allergy ...
- You know everything, right?
Paola insisted on telling them,
we did not want,
but has given us
so much money ...
However,
if you need anything ...
you know where to find me.
What have you bought any good?
A bit 'of my cabbage
be done in the oven.
Please could you after dinner
gagged with Domopak?
So do not feel you howl.
(LN lNGLESE) - What did he say?
- Nothing.
It 'sad and lonely, very lonely.
Do not worry, Svetlana.
Better alone than badly accompanied!
- It 's always a pleasure.
- Speak for yourself!
(SOUND MIXER)
lvan, I'm studying criminal law,
mica crossword puzzles!
Study well, do not bother me.
- Hello, monsters.
- Hello, Maga Mago.
Hello, witch,
come to tell you a thing.
Yesterday evening I towed
a girl stratospheric
and I was dressed as a Pink Panther!
One thing paranormal!
Also I have known
a girl in the gym.
And how?
It 's a girl soap and water,
scented hair, simple
and a hard ass,
named Francesca.
Well my name is Francesca!
Come on!
But it is a blond devil
with a wonderful smile
and smell incredible.
Take care,
not to do too much tenerone
because women
like the assholes.
Can I keep it?
ln memory of the evening
most exciting of my life.
(SPEAKS lN UCRAlNO)
l love you so much ...
- Ukraine is part of Europe?
- Yes, Europe. - Ln fact!
(BELL)
Who the fuck is that? Check!
- Noise?
- Yes, what you want?
I shut off,
I can go from your balcony?
Come on, the balcony there.
Hello, Svetlana!
Look here!
You have robbed lntimissimi?
- I am a souvenir. - How do you
missing to finish the globe?
Honduras and Yemen, are very rare.
- So you're well Lichtenstein?
- Yes.
- Luxembourg?
- There I have them all!
I'll go, we're on the sixth floor.
A collector of tanga
gentleman! Attention,
might think
I've killed him.
But imagine ...
Me a hand?
Come!
Pull!
Thanks.
Imagine if you squashed
on the sidewalk with these pants!
- Here we go.
- Thank you. - Please.
- What?
- I dislocated a shoulder.
I'll Come.
It 's just a small contraction,
quiet.
Does it hurt here?
- Now?
- Best.
Just like that ..
Just like that ..
- Thank you.
- Please.
But are you crazy?
But how?
I do the massaggino,
you're on ...
But if it makes you a massage
it means he wants to have sex?
- Come on!
- Leverage these hands!
You also naked in a bed,
You're sick!
And you're a freak frigid.
Go!
Go you, this is my home!
Go, if not call the police!
The drops for colic
work?
'Yes, now sleeps,
but two hours of feeding.
At least you take advantage of travel
to get some sleep '.
Maybe! I swear I try.
(Knock on the door)
Sorry, I have knocked.
- Go, do not worry.
- Good night.
- Hello, my love.
- Give a kiss to Paul.
- Hello.
- Hello.
- I'm not sleepy, you?
- Very, and backward.
But are you okay?
Very well, thank you.
At this point I should ask:
want to join?
Should I ... because you want to join?
- To you be?
- Yes .. no.
You are a player, I'm a
coach, who knows what to think.
And 'soon, come on!
A chat and then to bed?
Eva, do not ...
Four, however,
they become five!
Excuse the mess.
- Beer?
- No, and you should not even you.
The more I drink
and I do a lot of points the same.
- Ready for tomorrow?
- Well prepared.
It's hot, right? Almost sultry ...
Almost.
Eva, as a friend, coach,
but mostly as a male,
I believe that we are entering
in a danger zone.
Remember that the laboratory
of sports science
says that having sex
before a sporting event
may strongly affect
the provision of an athlete.
It has never been demonstrated.
ln fact, but we said
Talk''and then to bed.''
Then we chat!
Choose a topic.
- How many games have done
together? - Bell'argomento!
of which 345 won and 58 lost,
but 22 in the fifth set, which is not bad!
One thing I did not tell
all this time.
What?
I'm in love with you
for six years.
Six years?
So we talk about the championship
when we were
defeated in the final ...
in Tenerife.
- Did you hear what I said?
- Yes.
In this regard, I wanted to ask:
in fridge
there are spirits?
What happened to your jar?
I do not know, I never happened,
I swear, never, never, never!
Do not worry,
is not the end of the world.
No, you're wrong!
Until it comes to other steps,
but my jar, no!
It can not happen, it should not happen!
It 's over!
No, I did indeed!
Stupid, stupid!
- (Francis) you?
- No.
It 's a very bad dream, a nightmare.
(Knock on the door)
- Who is it?
- Bertocchi, it's me, Victor!
One moment,
I was going over schemes.
The slip!
- Chairman, sleep well?
- Very good.
But something unfortunate happened
and she is responsible.
- I know, sorry.
- I understood everything.
- Everything?
- Everything.
President, that I can explain.
You are too permissive with the athletes
and they took advantage.
Tonight the Castles
did not sleep in his room.
The Castles?
- I can not believe.
- You find it and make a cazziatone.
Without discount, because I know
you have a certain relationship.
- Platonic.
- We'll miss you!
But in this case
I ask her to be tough!
- Tough-hard, I guarantee.
- Bravo!
- So I can ...
- Must!
I'm going to finish the scheme ...
Today we win!
- Beautiful here!
- Thank you.
These are things that I took from the trip
with my father.
You've been in a lot of places!
It also travel free,
is an airplane pilot.
You're lucky,
My father is a psychologist.
And when he discovered
that you're a lesbian?
For the first time I saw
in difficulty, what satisfaction!
- End break?
- Burn those calories!
Now the menu includes a massaggino
on the house.
I agree.
I go to the bathroom.
Where is the bathroom?
- The bathroom ... - The Red Door
with the word''nuclear area.''
Thanks.
When I see the field-mouse,
I am as hungry as a wolf!
- Hello, donut.
- Hello, Psycho.
- Andrea?
- It 's so lucky!
Hello, witch,
how did it go last night?
Four hours of wild sex
and a strong desire to see her again.
- And you?
- Keep your voice down, it's in the bathroom.
- Oh, but you ...
- Yes, three times!
Great!
Could you lend me that oil and rosemary
for massage?
- I want to make them feel my touch!
- I'll take it.
I'll be waiting there.
- What flavor was the oil
for massage? - Rosemary.
- I guess this is it.
- Thank you.
- I do not find.
- We had lvan.
- Martha, do you want?
- I just want to take a look.
- Go away, it's mine!
- What a waste!
Permission.
Like to sit?
- Thank you.
- Please.
The house remains assigned
my client
and she agrees to give
a monthly allowance of 4,000 .
Exactly!
It only remains to be determined
who takes the car,
a Beetle in 1973
I do not care,
there are fond,
the scrap can.
Given the age of the vehicle, agrees.
From the photos it seems to me a lemon.
A lemon?
Of course, such a lemon!
You boys do this ...
As long as it suits you,
will hold the usual car
and then it gets old, the wrecks.
Just go to the dealer
miles and take a zero,
Metallic blonde with two airbags
front and two behind so great.
Well done, congratulations!
Y'know what?
I hope that God is female
and that when you males
arrive in the afterlife,
you an ass like that!
With permission.
So?
Nothing ... Look at that!
- Nothing!
- Try again.
Provo, but ...
ll your pea
retired early
are ten minutes that the stimulus
but calm!
- How is it possible?
- I do not know, have you tried with viagra?
No. .. yes.
- For three days.
- Strike!
the two cases are:
stress or misuse dell'arnese.
It happens.
Up to a certain age, waved
as the string of a cowboy
then he gets tired and goes on vacation,
catalepsy in your case,
hibernating in a deep coma,
in eternal sleep.
Enough! And then?
We can do
Dynamic sonography of the penis.
Miss, I prepared 10 mm
prostaglandin.
- What would this ultrasound?
- A routine examination.
You control the flow of blood
penis is in flaccid state ...
in your case go to a wedding ...
both in the erection,
induced by an injection.
So if you find a problem
hydraulic or psychological.
Please, Chiara.
- Good morning.
- No!
- You work here?
- Yes, Nurse ... hospital!
- What is the diagnosis, doctor?
- Erectile Dysfunction serious.
Ah, helpless!
Renato!
- Nicole!
- I do not understand a thing.
A man gets 40 years
Interestingly, even cool.
Get Dr. House!
And 'lame, old, wrinkled, asshole
and the row of girls
out the door.
A woman should be helpful,
Independent, shaved,
witty, nasty, young, thin,
good in the kitchen, in bed,
sexy but not too much,
no children and no brain.
And when the first hair
white, hell begins.
You took you 40 years to understand
how things work
and when you think you have in hand
the rules of the game,
gives you a bitch on the bus
the place, if I were his grandmother!
Fuck!
You are very upset, what happens?
Are to be scrapped?
You?
ll my opinion can not compete
with that of the bitch,
but you're perfect
as you are, trust me.
- I know because I say so.
- Did you know?
- Because you are my friend.
- Ln fact.
Excuse the outburst.
Nicole!
But tell him, damn it!
Ouch!
(WALTER) Take everything!
Beautiful!
- (MAN) We're almost done.
- There are those of the maid!
Better, more exciting.
Not at all, speak up!
Sooner or later
will know the whole world.
Worldwide ... better then!
Hush,
is better to continue
to maintain privacy.
(MAN), Mister?
- Close when you have finished?
- Yes.
I close myself.
This is a very nice
for me and for the whole team.
I have to thank our Mister
for everything that is giving me.
Exaggerated, I'm not giving anything.
.. But it can also be
Stern, hard, when you need it
And makes us work hard
beyond the normal training.
- Eva is always nicer.
- You?
ln short, is a process.
Are you kidding? Last year
did the nude calendar.
Now the calendar do do
dogs and pigs
and then you know that in volleyball
the stronger ones are ugly.
She is strong, so ...
How much did Pauline poop today?
Watch ...
I think he has done so much
right now. Quantifies!
(BELL)
Hurry, I only have an hour or so.
You women are just superficial.
- Please?
- Do you think about just that!
We could do a billion things,
like watching a movie,
just stay on the sofa's arms ...
Rather than just sex you want to do ...
What the fuck!
Are you kidding me?
- And you do not do it more.
- Exactly.
A minimum of romance!
I understand.
If you wanted to cut, you only had a text message.
Lisa!
Wait!
Stop!
Maybe if you come back tomorrow ...
(SINGS) Lisa's gone away,
Here is no longer his home.
Lisa's gone away,
Is no longer mine.
- I called because it was
Forgot ... - The powder?
- No.
- Keys? Underpants? - No.
It 's a bit that can not hear you howl,
you've got always that little problem
patagarro''to''?
I soundproof the room.
Anyway, my patagarro''''
does not concern you, okay?
No, thank goodness!
That's my house!
Please.
Chiara, I am very confused ...
Come on! Hello.
Mom, what are you doing?
Andrew, come on.
In your opinion,
I'm so in reality?
Like what?
The image in the mirror ...
I'm the one there?
No, I prefer the reality,
at least I can embrace.
- Beautiful Mommy!
- Thank you.
Hold strong!
- Even 5 minutes!
- Enough of this romance.
I have to go on.
- Where are you going?
- Seeing Martha, you?
Paola wants to get me out,
but I do not I feel like it.
But you should.
Exit, there is a world outside!
- And now you're a single bona.
- Bona?
Andrea,
the classical high school did you ...
Palatable, non-bona!
I am ready.
Spending tomorrow.
Bona!
A single bona!
Yes ..
You have danced too?
No, but I'm not used
dancing in heels!
I'm not used to dance
in general.
And then I feel like a pathetic old
who does the little girl.
If you are elderly,
I'm Barack Obama.
Pleasure, Barack, I'm Nicole.
Champagne?
No, I already had three mojitos,
Then there are the glasses.
A problem, a solution!
- In my shoes no!
- Do not you like?
I was wondering if I can reuse
the foot bed.
We just have to find out.
- Cheers!
- Cheers!
Betraying for the first time
is traumatic, then you get used to.
But why have you bogged
with your player?
lmpelagare ...
Bottarelli for myself!
- How many times?
- A couple.
- How many?
- Twelve.
But included in the gym yesterday ...
and this morning on the horse.
- What does 13.
- Yes, but it is uncomfortable.
- So do not count?
- It has not.
Remember, the Romans used to say:
Cheating''humanum est,
pericolosum persevere.'' Got it?
No, I did greek.
But we must tell us everything?
A: When you betray
is for one night stand,
if not, the women attack here,
am I right?
Very good.
- Who?
- It will be tired.
- He knew everything about life!
- Stop!
Two: never have a story
with your wife know.
Females have
a supernatural flair for the horns.
Come on, think of serious things.
Renato,
for a degree in performing arts and cinema:
in which film of 1987,
Michael Douglas puts the horns
his wife with a crazy
who then sought
and kill the rabbit?
-''Fatal Attraction.''
- Bravo, fuchsia cheese!
- What? - I do not have a rabbit.
- Did he have killed?
- Formaggino fuchsia.
- Go to shit!
However, this situation
does not concern me,
Eva is intelligent
and knows the situation.
They are all perfect
until they call you''love''.
Word''Love''is the most dangerous
after''marriage''.
I understand, speak tomorrow.
Not any more.
Mister,
you did a third set of fear!
Thanks.
- Let the tie-break?
- No, rather a time-out.
I have a pediatrician, I can not.
Okay, so tomorrow we go
extra time, love.
You said''love''?
Yes, you've got?
Love is a word ...
also as a vocabulary ...
I understand that you have some 'fear,
is a new situation for me too
and was not the right time.
Between your wife, your child ...
- And let's also the final
championship. - Mettiamocela.
But it has happened.
- (EVA) What did you mean before?
- When?
Before you told me
you had to tell me something important.
ln fact!
Eva ...
Eva ...
One of us has to stop.
You are wonderful,
We were good together,
but I did
an examination of conscience ...
(NOISE DOCClA, lNCOMPRENSlBlLE)
Maybe tomorrow we feel,
okay?
Maybe we feel!
I love you too.
Well, what good news!
Mommy!
Who are you? What are you doing here?
I am a friend of Nicole.
Nicole ... Mom?
Nicole!
- Wake up!
- Enough, I'm exhausted!
- Andrea!
- Mom, what the hell are you doing?
What are you doing here?
I thought you were alone, sad,
I brought croissants.
How cute!
Since you bring a stranger
naked inside the house?
I swear that when he came in,
he was dressed.
So we meet again?
Of course.
Would be 500 ,
but for the first time we do 400.
What?
The rate for the whole night, 400.
Sure.
(NlCOLETTA) Nature, 400 ...
The discount was already 100 .
Here are 50 . Go!
Thanks!
Hello.
I took her to dinner and then to my house,
Sonia was beautiful,
but when it was time,
I could not kiss her.
- I was natural.
- Again? You are a fag!
How many times do I have to say?
You do not like the flab mustache,
but I prefer the bird.
Exit with a man and do it over!
And now we hear our impotent.
Have you calmed down?
Apart from the fact
that are not powerless,
analysis are in place,
so it's just stress.
Here's another
who does not understand a shit!
This is called''denial.''
What are you doing psychologist
if you do not learn?
Do not you tell me
you do not get up more
since the closest you on hiatus?
- Yes.
- Then what is the shock!
To unlock them you must not go
in bed with any one,
you have to go with her.
- With her? - And with whom?
- But he hates me!
And you will find a way to make you
well, you're so pricey!
Hey!
Where are you going? A Woodstock?
No, I'm dressed
informally.
How about
if we leave it all behind
and let us know?
But I already know:
Frequently decerebration,
your weapon of seduction
is the circumvention of an incapable
and you have a social conscience
a radiator.
If I told you that I bought
Argentine fillet and a Brunello?
I'd say
that are vegetarian and teetotal.
If I told you that I made
a wok with vegetables?
I would say:''Who cares?''
- Not a tiramisu?
- Ll take me''on''is perfect for you!
Thanks, but I'm leaving tomorrow
for a tiring journey.
- Where are you going?
- Ln Antarctica.
Think if you meet those exalted
going to save the seals!
ln fact, I go with them.
- This is the mission for the whales.
- Cool!
But when the saved
where you put them?
Okay ...
Peace and love!
Marta!
I'm glad you came,
so I present to you Frank.
We're all gay!
But are you crazy?
Make outing too, is wonderful!
Francesca is at the center.
- Is not she beautiful?
- Very!
- You are very lucky.
- I know!
- So, this Francesca?
- That I did not lose.
- What are you doing?
- I want to immortalize the moment.
- It 's the way!
- What? - One in the center.
- That one?
- Cheese!
- Yes.
- But that's my Frank.
- No, it's mine.
- That's straight, I've been there.
- No, it's a lesbian.
- Straight!
- Lesbian!
- Straight!
- Lesbian!
- And if he bisexual?
Hello.
Hello ... you know you?
- For almost ten years.
- Best friends.
Oops!
- What game are you playing?
- Do you realize what you do?
- Why should I do?
- Takes us by the ass!
I like you both,
I get out of a devastating history
and I want a little 'light weight.
Would you like some 'lightness.
- The story had a devastating
male ... - O with a girl?
But who cares?
Today no one speaks, they dance!
Between the two litigants, the third dance!
How old are you!
Francesca!
That one must choose,
but the result seems obvious.
I bet a week
of dominance?
What tenderness!
You lose!
ll glucagon Mother's!
You've made a ton, my love.
There is no need to brag,
I'm cooking!
(TELEFONlNO)
Who is it?
Do not answer?
No, it is not compulsory to answer.
- Who is it?
- The merchant ... it says.
E 'rude call
Overtime ...
These are good for us?
So he did not ...
To forgive me,
I thought to offer a solution,
to better understand what I want.
- What?
- A holiday.
Saturday catch up friends
in Corsica for my birthday,
I have a tent, it would be nice
All three go together.
the you and Marta?
I do not know, in theory I should be studying
criminal law ... boh!
- Okay, I go there alone with Martha.
- No, wait, in theory!
ln practice, I come.
- I, you and Marta, the tent ...
- I'm happy.
- Martha and I call tell him.
- No!
Now it's in the pool, do not respond,
I'll tell him when he returns.
Okay.
- Good morning!
- Good morning.
- What are you doing here?
- I'm going too in Antarctica.
ll plight of whales
touches me a lot.
- Yes, and when? - The other day
I reread''Moby Dick''.
And I thought that it is inhumane
the way in which the whales ...
I do not know what game you're playing,
but look
that do not go there on a skiing holiday.
I know, I do not want layers
between the boxes, but only part.
But if you do not even know
what we do!
I've been on YouTube,
I saw what you do:
attack the whalers,
is very cool!
Let me show you
I'm not a jerk.
- You ask the impossible!
- One possibility is given to all.
- Okay.
- Great!
One important thing:
do not try again with me,
or I'll rip your balls
and fed to the penguins do.
- I'm nuts?
- Very.
When we arrive in Antarctica
Be discreet about my ...
- That little problem ...
- Quiet!
Chiara!
- How are you?
- Good.
lvan is a veteran of the association
and a great friend of mine.
lvan, Diego.
Diego, helpless as your neighbor!
(Lvan) Permit.
Go!
Up with that wall!
Well!
Brava!
- Hello, Dad.
- What a nice surprise!
(VlTTORlO) The're killing!
I came to say goodbye,
I go on vacation.
Have fun and fuck, I recommend!
Brava!
But when I play?
Emma has played throughout the tournament.
- Are you telling me that favor?
- We know it's your choice.
If there's one you can not stand
it is the Castle.
- Do not look it.
- Okay, come in his place.
What we do with mother?
We speak to me or you?
E 'useless.
She has a vision
somewhat 'distorted to me.
She thinks I'm an ignorant ...
(WALTER)
Castelli, out! Join the Gomez!
.. That is violent, rude.
the peasant?
What the fuck are you doing, brain-damaged?
Replace the Castles?
I chased him, is' Be careful!
We trust the Gomez!
Let us give time!
But then you're stupid?
(LN TUTTLE CHORUS) Dumb!
Show them who you are!
Brave however,
is bad luck ...
Fucking bad luck!
Replace me while I play well?
We lost, congratulations!
It 's a strategy
not to attract attention.
Rather worse,
I've never replaced the first,
now everyone will wonder
why you do it.
Are small differences
technical-tactical.
By the way, your wife?
Well, thank you.
- He's also losing weight.
- I'm glad.
Did you speak? What's New?
Of course, I started to run
the first unequivocal signs,
but the situation is delicate,
we need calm.
If you're taking the piss,
I tell her everything.
- Imagine ...
- And I say to the President.
- Pure?
- And you fall to bite the balls!
Right!
I also do the same thing
if I were in your shoes,
but look at me ...
Do I look like the guy?
No, indeed.
And so do the wall ...
You too, girls ...
I promise that after the competition
we go on holiday a month?
ll next season ...
This?
Galapagos
you and me alone on the deserted beach,
make love ten times
per day. Promise?
I promise.
Even if ten
I seem a bit 'too much ...
- I adore you.
- Me too, now go!
Get ready, you'll see how angry
President for the defeat.
I do not think, is a man's sport.
- How to de Cubertin said ...
- (VlTTORlO) Son of a bitch!
I want to take it with head
the bastard!
- (VlTTORlO) Son of a bitch!
- Exactly.
Shit, fuck!
Francesca!
- Sorry for the delay.
- Marta?
Can not do it, is under consideration.
Greets you.
What a pity! I tried calling
but it is still disconnected.
Let it be, is in seclusion!
Shall we go?
This leads me.
- I have your ticket.
- Thank you.
- How beautiful you are!
- Merci.
Dear Nicole,
We are not talking
trivial cosmetic surgery,
Here we talk about contemporary art.
If Michelangelo were alive today,
Bernini and Rodin
not carved in marble,
but in silicon.
Today I will give you
a great opportunity,
to start again
to be reborn.
- I must also remove your bra?
- Get him!
I'm used to seeing bodies horrible
and then we've known for years.
Exactly ...
Sit in
the circle of light.
Let's start with the body scanner.
Hold your breath.
Close your eyes.
Perfect!
You can clothe.
This is the situation.
lntanto we remove these horrible
Grandma's knickers!
This is the side A:
cellulite, stretch marks,
adipose tissue on the sides,
flabby triceps, chest deflated.
We see the side B?
Worse than the A side!
A little 'maintenance you could do it!
Do you have a small vial of cyanide?
Watch ... rigeneration!
Weight loss, push-up effect ...
This will be the new Nicole ...
that chick!
It seems Megan Fox with my face.
And this is the estimate
Megan Fox to become.
I made you a discount.
The friends of my ex-wives
are my friends.
(SPEAKS lN lNGLESE)
We must pursue
a Japanese whaling.
We must be prepared to act,
to intercept and stop her.
What do you mean?
Everything
they tell you to do, do it.
Sorry, I meant no foul''''...
I understand.
- We can do it!
- Yes!
Come on!
- Help me to fix the lines?
- I'm not capable.
You are powerless, not paralyzed!
In less than two hours we
in paradise!
I can not wait.
- Can I come too?
- Martha!
- Change your mind?
- Yes, I was convinced ... lvan.
Thanks, lvan!
I'm too happy!
Wait here, I'll be back.
- How did you get first?
- Hydrofoil. Give me the phone.
Come on, it was a joke!
Want to fight? And war is!
- What war? Give me a kiss!
- Kiss?
One by one ball in the center.
Today you play dirty, man.
- There's your wife.
- Where? - Here, talk to Eva.
Fuck!
- How are you?
- Well, I switched on the fly.
What to talk about?
Monica was telling me
that after the competition
you and you go a month in Greece.
But not sure ...
It 'sure, but with the child
you can never say,
then let us not forget that
happened between Sparta and Athens
tensions are still alive,
I would not want this summer
dig up the hatchet,
then enter the Peloponnese ...
the Tigris, the Euphrates ...
Yes, a erupts August
the Trojan War!
What a fool, always wants to play!
- Yesterday's got tickets
for the ferry. - Yes?
Hurry up and win the championship
because I have to rest.
Escape, after a while 'I feed.
Hello, love.
- Hello.
- Hello, Monica.
- Have you got tickets yesterday.
- Yes, but can be redeemed.
- There is already understand ...
- Walter ...
I swear
I tell you that by Saturday.
Well, then Saturday night
Come to dinner with me.
Maybe you even stopped to sleep.
Perfect.
- In case you have no idea how ...
- Shut up.
- Anyway, I knew it.
- Two to one for me!
And now trying to do the male
and plan well the stakes,
if not, tonight we fly away.
- Bath?
- Yes Andrew, we join later?
Yes, I put the stakes and finish.
Then we inflate
also the mattresses.
Done!
You are teleported?
Marta! Francesca!
There is none.
No, no!
Marta! Francesca!
What are you doing?
- I'd say it was a paradise!
- Are not you coming? Are you ashamed?
As comes to mind
so to come here?
All dressed up ... is indecent,
there are also children.
- It is bare! - Are you kidding?
- He wants to make the voyeur?
Respect the rules,
otherwise where are we going to end?
Disgusting pig!
- Paola, you have a minute?
- Yes.
- We have known each other a lot, right?
- Yes.
I am a widower,
are just many years.
I have to ask
something very important.
Renato, do not be offended,
but you're not my type.
You're not even my type.
Tonight when we get out,
I'll make you a question
and you must answer: no.
- No.
- No, dry and firm.
- A''no''is not denied to anyone!
- Thank you.
Evening barbecue and bonfire.
- Are you two?
- Ln three.
- There is a friend? Maybe straight ...
- No, a friend.
- Friend ... so to speak.
- There he is!
- He is Andrea.
- Hello everyone.
As you see,
Andrea is a very athletic boy.
And 'the Journal of today?
I can read the latest news ...
No.
Got something to hide?
Please.
Bites?
Two even!
- Girls, are you okay?
- No.
Not now.
Would you like to go out to eat
sushi together?
No, unfortunately I have to do.
- Let us?
- No thanks, I do not feel tonight.
Come on, is sushi!
The last time I ate
sushi, I spent 400 .
I offer myself, and if you do not like sushi
We can go to the restaurant.
Is there a place there
where the food is bad, but bad ...
I'd like to, but not tonight.
Thanks, Renato.
Hello.
So? What do we do?
You sleep!
- You sleep?
- I would say yes.
- I turn off the light?
- Want to sleep with the lights on?
- I turn it off, good night.
- Good night.
Sure we want to stay?
Safe, secure, safe, secure ...
- How are glad you came!
- What is mutual.
- Good night.
- 'Night.
- But then it is very late ...
- I'll do with the teeth!
- You sleep?
- No.
It 's my hand, you moron!
Good night.
A ship!
Why not ask if they have
something for seasickness?
Nah, that's Whaling
we hamper!
Hinder that?
But it's giant!
they are the real giants!
If the harpoon, were killed.
ll our task
is to make him lose time.
Why do not escape under water?
Instinct tells him to go
surface when they are afraid.
The catch per fatigue.
- Check that in a while 'shooting at us!
- What? - We shoot!
Beware! Down!
(SPEAKS lN GlAPPONESE)
- Operate the pump.
- The pump?
You have to stop him from taking aim.
Beware!
Was wrong!
- (CHlARA) made a mistake!
- (Lvan) Yes!
You're right,
but put yourself in my shoes.
ll child cried,
thought to appendicitis,
we have taken to the hospital and
luckily it was nothing
Air only in the belly.
Walter, I must ask
an important thing
but this time, be sincere,
Do you promise?
Sure.
I will never play by the holder
or I'll be always on the bench?
Since I coach,
You've been the owner ...
You know what I mean.
Bench or the owner?
Bench.
But then
because you said''I love you''?
It 'just that you ask me.
There was the''I love you''in the phrase,
but was contained in the phrase
''Feel''.
It was a''love you''involuntary
By a yellow card.
I say to defuse ...
I spent two days of hell.
Marta knew
I was allergic to mushrooms
and crushed them in the sauce.
The last time you've blown up so much
that seemed to Rocky Balboa.
In fact, I ran away, leaving
Francesca at the mercy of the hyena.
- But yesterday, I retaliated.
- What?
That threw me merdaccia
among the jellyfish.
- What you are now?
- 5 to 4, but tomorrow's draw.
I replaced the sunscreen
with mayonnaise.
- Forte!
- Lvan, let's get to work!
I salute you, have fun.
I was pleased
see you work with us.
We do a big ass!
And I think it's worth it.
I thought you were more ...
most selfish, arrogant,
uncaring, misogynist ...
Thanks for the compliments.
Also I thought you were
more spinster, boring, sour.
- Also as a compliment.
- Of course.
Sorry, there is an albatross dirty
oil, I have to clean it,
instead of sitting here doing''Titanic''
you give me a hand?
I am an expert on dirty albatross!
- Come on!
- An expert ...
This little thing that you have between your legs
will cause
all your problems.
His fault,
I've done a mess.
We hope that the mother
knowing it,
otherwise we're in a half too
that has nothing to do.
When you become a man,
I understand and forgive me.
True?
With this irresponsible act,
you played the scooter at age 14.
(RUMORl) What?
Sparano?
Oh God!
I think it's for you.
Now occurred.
- Eva, what are you doing?
- Asshole!
Quiet!
But what happened?
- Nothing, an uncontrolled ascent.
- What have you done?
I have not convened for the final
and was outraged.
- Your husband is a shit!
- How dare you?
Just because you do not play?
Are you crazy?
ln fact ... all fall!
He needed to fuck
and I shall fall
as a poor fool.
He has a lot of imagination ...
Love, where are you going?
I know that Walter is not
Subbuteo playing tonight.
-What will be of harm to the condo?
-At least 5000.
- It 's the figure of shit ...
- That is priceless.
(VOClNA) Pig! My father
told me right away!
Forgive me,
but do not do it for ten months.
(VOClNA) So what?
I had your baby in your belly!
Forgiveness was a moment of madness.
Yes, one moment ... Tell me how
Schiacciatrice crush you!
Porco, out of this house!
No, let us make peace.
Sorry, I did take.
Bet now comes out and says:
''Friends, I made a mess!''
Here are at least 10,000
of food per month.
When a man meets with her lover
a woman with a baby ...
- Friends, I made a mess.
- They are dicks!
- You're a moron.
- Problems?
I had two crabs in the bag
I have crunched the iPod,
Do you know something?
the crabs in the Corsica
are big music fans.
Guys, I decided
what do you do tonight to celebrate.
- What?
- A horseback riding.
- Strong!
- A horse?
- We know to go, right? - Of course,
I was born on a farm.
- Whew! And you?
- "Me?
Sure!
I tell you one thing:
Palio di Siena!
(ANDREA) How I came to mind
to do this shit?
(ANDREA) Stop him!
Still, damn it!
How do you stop this horse?
What a great idea you had!
-Where did you learn to ride like that?
-It 's a method of my own!
(MARTA) Let those who come first
the riding! Go!
Piano!
(ANDREA) Stop!
Wait for me, dammit!
What a hit!
- Thanks for the great experience.
- Nothing.
A great trip.
Listen ...
I can tell you something else?
I was an idiot
to try it with you.
What you're giving me now ...
is much more satisfying sex.
You are cheerful, intelligent, beautiful,
sensitive.
Saddle is the last of my ...
Ladies and Gentlemen,
the return of the living dead!
I told you, are not powerless.
- I love you.
- No, now is not the case.
- No?
- No.
- And now?
- Not true.
It's six.
Sorry, I have the course of tango,
bring it on file.
Take care!
Renato!
Hello.
- This sends you Paola.
- Thank you.
Beautiful! E 'yours?
What do you do?
And 'old ... ie, traditional.
This is the machine
that went to the moon.
The world is digital,
but in the film.
It is neither color
or black and white,
but it is full of shades of gray.
I'll show you something.
- Please.
- What?
This is my darkroom.
Between a binder and the other
sometimes spends so much time!
Look.
This is a roll, keep it in hand.
The film is gelatin,
is a living thing.
Development here and die here.
And these are my photos.
They are beautiful.
This is one of my favorites.
We are in Mongolia,
we slept in a tent,
and then in the morning
I did a ride.
- You?
- I.
(ALARM)
Six and a quarter ... come!
Run!
Five seconds ...
four ...
No!
Good grief!
Maurizio!
Maurizio!
Damn, I'm sorry.
Explain to me?
The door is reinforced to protect
archive information,
Opening and closing are controlled
by an automatic time
which is activated at 6:15 p.m. sharp.
- What is the problem? Telephony.
- No field below.
- There will be a landline.
- About yes, not here.
Vigilance!
The supervisor has already left.
You're telling me ...
I hope that you have no commitments
up at 7 tomorrow morning.
- Oh! - Stay calm!
- Calm shit!
I want to go back home,
I'm hungry, thirsty ...
This is not a problem.
Tuna, pea and ham.
Soup, bacon, cheese,
chocolate, biscuits, wine.
If the lady has some desire,
We are here to serve.
Honey, come down, otherwise we do not find
parking at the cinema.
I get off.
- Look who's here!
- Doctor, how are you?
the good, you?
There are three sessions that do not come.
- I was out. - Did you
what did I tell you?
Have you tried using the station?
Yes, I had to get
to the South Pole,
a horrifying experience!
But the bird?
She was right.
Proof with hippies,
The parrot is back to flying.
Asshole!
Asshole!
I can tell you something?
Chiara ...
not bad.
I'm in love with her,
am the happiest man in the world.
You know what?
That your friend down there
if they had noticed it before you.
I'm going to a conference
premature ejaculation.
Take care,''''Hold on!
What a guy!
- You're done.
- Love you crazy?
- What did you call?
- Love.
As long as you call me
Frigid''hippies''steps,
so you're an idiot
that collects briefs
but if there is one thing
that pisses me off is the hypocrisy.
You do not know what respect,
let alone love!
Goodbye!
Final league:
Novara against Pesaro.
'And' the game of truth
for Bertocchi,
That only by winning tonight, it could
Save a fluctuating season.
- Where's Eve?
- I do not know why you ask me?
- Who should I ask?
- There are many people ...
Bertocchi,
we do not make jokes tonight.
I tried calling
and the phone turned off.
Do you know what happens
If we lose tonight, right?
E-SW-NE-RO.
- Bravo.
- Thank you, Chairman.
Come on, crushed!
(BELL)
- What do you want?
- I wanted to apologize.
Sorry my ass!
No!
(TELECRONlSTA)
Bertocchi Walter is in trouble,
forced to deploy
the Cuban Gomez,
because of the mysterious
absence of Castelli.
Go!
(CRONlSTA) One to zero for Pesaro.
Not sure how long someone
no cooking for me.
- It was all delicious. - Ln a life
I did the previous chef.
I made the dog trainer,
I rented bicycles,
I did the acrobat.
Yes, the acrobat!
Well done!
- And now you do a somersault.
- No, I trust, stop!
Rather, I am out of practice.
- How many lives did you have?
- Three.
No, maybe four.
And maybe there will be
a fifth, right?
Mah ..
The first year
I came here to play
success is a mess.
I was pregnant with a bastard.
I was lost in love
and when I told him, I shouted
he did not care about me
and then disappeared.
After I lost my baby.
I was a little girl.
The only person I was close
in those days was my coach.
I just wanted to tell you that Walter
is a great person
And I ...
and I'm in love.
I'm sorry.
If I had not
broken boxes,
he would never have betrayed.
Because he loves you.
He loves you.
Help the planet! What to do if
of a nuclear accident!
Guys, want to know what to do
or do you not care about anything?
lvan, help me,
Only you can save me.
You're in the right place,
help animals in need.
I can not talk to Clare
I do not know where it is.
- It 'game?
- Yes.
Shit, I knew it! Where is he?
Clare said
who does not want to see you,
so I can not tell you
which is in the Cetacean Sanctuary.
And where exactly?
I swore to clarify that
I would not have said
which is located between Liguria
and Corsica, not insist.
These are the coordinates of the ship
I've never given.
Thank you, the better.
- (Lvan) Good boy!
- Look at Clara is angry.
I love violent women.
Touch you!
Mia!
No, a minimum of dignity!
Time-out!
Simply, there is a limit to everything!
Girls, never to
the ball to Gomez, okay?
(PUBBLlCO Rejoice)
- Why have you thought about?
- Someone asked me ...
That still loves you.
Exchange, enter the Castle,
Gomez comes out.
Come on!
Mister, because I replace?
Because you're a duffer,
a very large,
immeasurable suck!
Come on, down ...
If the item will Novara,
win the Scudetto.
Thanks.
Tomorrow, I ask the president
to be sold,
I do not like to sit on the bench.
I'm sorry.
Me too.
I am ready.
(BOY)
And now Frank has to kiss ...
- Andrea.
- (TUTTLE) No, Martha!
You do decide to celebrated.
All right.
(TUTTLE) Oh ...
(TUTTLE) OLE!
Bravo!
Enjoy!
Marta, where are you going?
Let her go, then go.
(RENATO) And now ... magic.
Do not even look like me.
Rather you.
You're beautiful.
Hey!
Is there something wrong?
But I really like me?
No, you do not like you,
I'm in love with you
twelve years.
What a record!
What did I tell you!
Kiss!
Fifty
fucking half an hour.
Now we leave them alone.
Everybody out!
Monica!
Monica!
- How are you?
- Good.
Who are these two fat guys?
These?
They are the uncles of Molise.
Remember
who are facing difficulties to speak Italian?
We have got that horrible
under the horse dies.
It was a dead donkey ... ugly.
Horrible.
Watch ...
These are
my classmates.
- I remember them ... ugly.
- Bruttini!
- Do you think this gesture is enough
for you to forgive? - Yes.
I love you.
Now that is?
Vale.
But now you come back down
and pick up all this triumph
of g-strings,
why are you polluting the sea.
- Seriously?
- Not at all '.
Orders!
- Hello!
- What are you doing here?
You had no shelter today?
I guess I'm healed.
(TELEFONlNO)
- What the fuck you want?
- (ANDREA) That way!
I wanted to tell you three things,
The first is that I played.
Bravo!
Second: I've put the snake
the bag is alive
We became friends.
Salutamela. The third?
The third is that you were right,
hydrofoil is done first.
- Hello.
- And Francesca?
Who?
That bitch undecided
that made us fight?
- I do not know.
- How can you not love you?
- Let's make peace?
- Kissing you all!
- Stop fighting with women!
- I swear!
I closed it with women,
at least for this summer.
I do not want to see a woman
for the rest of the holiday.
- I saw you first.
- No, and no one is a lesbian.
Not at all, is convinced straight!
Want to bet a week
of dominance?
A month!
---SUB-iTA---T4P3---TranslationRUBELRAFSUB-Eng---
"Boys versus girls"
TranslationRUBELRAFSUB-Eng
Sorry ...
And 'my daughter was born Margaret
my puppy.
It 'just that everybody knows.
Excuse me a moment,
there is a mishap.
Excuse me,
Why did you put a cover
blue to my daughter Margaret,
the number 1 7?
If you can control ...
I'm curious ...
And then!
Number 1 7 ...
is a fine boy of 3.8 kg.
Congratulations!
Love,
we must take
a little more 'blue paint.
(Quietly)
Do not scream, it was just asleep.
Luckily, I was going to try
an exorcist in the Yellow Pages.
Not enough!
- Love.
- My love.
(WALTER) Listen ...
If that speech riprendessimo
we had suspended a month ago?
No, again I go
and then there's Pauline.
the children do not remember anything
the first 5 years of life.
- Bella ...
- (screaming) I told you that I'm not going!
(BAMBlNO PLANGE)
Are you happy? Bravo!
- Love, do not cry!
- Well, but ...
Barley in a large cup
with half sugar cube.
ll bartender starts to hate me!
Thanks, Renato.
- I have done, are we going?
- But it's the one!
Exactly half a day!
- Today is pest control.
- Fantastic!
Will I be able to rid
even my house!
- My panzerotto Italian!
- Are you soda!
You yes, you are soda, my Cuban!
Ramona!
Victor!
Treasure!
But you know you look like so much?
Two drops of water!
One is confused ...
Dear, do not come
to hasty conclusions!
Honey, you're right!
Love, forgive me, I am a victim
of mistaken identity!
- I love you.
- Oh yeah?
Bad!
Do not get me wrong, I was wrong!
I adore him!
Do not you remember that the diamond
I gave you for the anniversary?
It was not a gift,
was a compensation.
Excuse me.
Watch that her husband loves her ...
a lot.
Gala dinner tonight?
But you ... still open
the hunting season?
- Why do you hunt?
- Yes, 12 months a year.
Also at gunpoint,
do not miss a beat.
- I would not have thought it?
- ln fact is not true.
She is Claire, my lovely
nearby, she likes to joke.
Very pleased, Tatiana.
- Tatiana ... missing in your
collection! - What a collection you do?
Chickens.
- Why do you chase chickens?
- Of course, it is his specialty.
Him before the trumpet, and then the hunt.
- I do not understand.
- I must be more explicit?
What a shame, we arrived!
ll Time flies when you're having fun.
- Good conversation!
- Thank you.
- Male chauvinist pig!
- Frigid freak!
(ANSlMl)
(DlEGO) You're hurting me! Spring! Piano!
(TATlANA) Come on!
(TATlANA) whoops!
(DlEGO howls)
- How we live together?
- Two years and three months.
- I read it on the balance of the gas.
- And I've never seen him so down?
Six more times.
are positive:
within a couple of days, call me.
- Sure, sure.
- (LA lMlTA)''Yes, yes''...
Bet
two hours of absolute domination?
If you lose, force you
to come dressed in pink.
I'm in!
Why Daisy left you?
It 'ran away with another?
No, but you say?
There 's been in Zimbabwe to try
the true taste of Africa.
In your opinion, what is the first thing
you taste in Africa?
- It will be in bed with a vatussa.
- There are vatusse lesbians?
It 'full!
I would not stop the funeral,
but I made gazpacho.
Recipes
according to the method,''a fucking dog.''
Why this sudden blow
culinary generosity?
I do not have the money to pay rent
and I have to be nice to you.
Aha!
Let's feed
Tutankhamun also?
(ANDREA) Mom, dine with us?
- I have not eaten for two days.
- No, thanks.
I want to die, suffer a lot.
(Doppler)
After winning the Kamchatka,
I wanted to share with you
a happy moment of my life.
- Last Saturday, my mother-in-law died.
- Condolences.
I'm really sorry.
(Marcello) the first attack
Quebec Renato,
I wanted to share with you
A case report of concern.
Walter Bertocchi
no intercourse with his wife of 10 months.
- Are you kidding?
- No.
E 'against nature.
him after a week I would have done
the ozone hole!
I happen to teenagers!
It can happen.
He's right, not to be confused
abstinence Walter
with the serious illness of Renato.
You are just assholes!
Quebec And you take it in the ass!
(WALTER) I'm going crazy.
First the belly, then the nausea,
childbirth, postpartum crisis,
not to mention the drunken dwarf
we have produced.
You may not ever
fallen into temptation?
By Monica in those conditions,
You know that feeling of guilt!
I understand
because when Anna was pregnant,
I and my sense of guilt were
always together.
Then I took him to fuck
and it stopped breaking.
Every marriage
is based on the betrayal.
And in fact you have divorced.
He's right, Renato
just a bit 'of willpower.
Of course, my job does not help ...
Brave!
Stay focused, we expect
demanding a transfer.
We need to improve reception
and start immediately with the board.
And then, I tell you the last time,
you have to give it away now!
Quiet, we often give away!
Ramona, do you have in mind only one thing!
In Cuba you have not taught
that there is only about sex?
- Very nice too!
- Thank you.
We also need to be
faster in the attack,
let too much time to the other
to place the wall.
Eva is right,
if we use the same scheme
become predictable.
Sometimes we also
a nice dunk
and then penetrate ...
the opponent's defense.
Sorry ...
Come on!
Bertocchi, congratulations!
It took just a great victory,
was an exciting game.
Who says so, President!
- How's the arm?
- Best.
The next time I have to be
closer in sailing.
He was not hurt
bowling?
Yes, bowling
sailing.
E 'uncomfortable but exciting!
Mister, remember that if
we do not win anything this year,
click the magic word:
E-SW-NE-RO.
- Bravo! - Thanks for the daily
injection of confidence.
Just imagine, Bertocchi!
- Too many thoughts?
- No.
Chatter and beer?
Why
fru fru this color choice?
- Please!
- Do not called you, eh?
No, tonight is that I felt different.
(Lvan) What's up?
- At you!
- At you!
- You want another?
- No, my head is spinning already.
- Does not hold the tequila?
- It's not the tequila.
Here is the magician of the trailer!
A bit 'sad, no?
But if you go out with me after,
maybe I can think of
more pretty.
- Francesca! - Here I am!
- Go!
but if you promise to dress well
tomorrow,
I swear that I keep myself free for dinner.
Hello, Mr. Pinky!
Tomorrow, I dress myself there
by Barbapapa!
Mr. Pinky ...
So, how are you?
Your wife will be deemed a bit 'more
or is it still on the planet diaper?
It 's still on the planet diaper
but do not panic!
Regain Intimacy
As soon as the child ... has a mustache.
Meanwhile,
I can do something?
No, you do not, thank you.
- What is it?
- A little bit 'of torticollis.
By dint of seeing you play ...
Psychosomatic a stiff neck ...
Did you know that diapers also make them
with elastic side bands
system''and''keep it all inside?
Technology
has made great strides!
Once the mothers had to ...
Then I go to bed.
See you tomorrow at the gym.
- Thanks for the beer, Mister.
- Please, goodnight.
- Do not say anything.
- No, I want You're a jerk!
The basic human instinct
is the reproduction,
The young girl is more popular.
Are you a friend.
If I decide to commit suicide before
I'll call you so I take away the doubts.
- Good morning.
- Good morning.
But he did not say anything
to that pig?
It means
new works that ass!
- It cost me 3000 in cheek!
- 6,000 pair?
No, 5000, Marcello me
discount ex-wives.
How sad!
Love,
from what you do not touch my ass?
- From the high school.
- Why you're depressed.
Paola, the head is looking for you.
I go, while you do not commit suicide.
- Are you okay?
- Very good.
E 'allergy to pollen.
Allergy is very annoying,
do not take it seriously.
My wife
before his death he suffered ...
- It's not that she died of allergy ...
- You know everything, right?
Paola insisted on telling them,
we did not want,
but has given us
so much money ...
However,
if you need anything ...
you know where to find me.
What have you bought any good?
A bit 'of my cabbage
be done in the oven.
Please could you after dinner
gagged with Domopak?
So do not feel you howl.
(LN lNGLESE) - What did he say?
- Nothing.
It 'sad and lonely, very lonely.
Do not worry, Svetlana.
Better alone than badly accompanied!
- It 's always a pleasure.
- Speak for yourself!
(SOUND MIXER)
lvan, I'm studying criminal law,
mica crossword puzzles!
Study well, do not bother me.
- Hello, monsters.
- Hello, Maga Mago.
Hello, witch,
come to tell you a thing.
Yesterday evening I towed
a girl stratospheric
and I was dressed as a Pink Panther!
One thing paranormal!
Also I have known
a girl in the gym.
And how?
It 's a girl soap and water,
scented hair, simple
and a hard ass,
named Francesca.
Well my name is Francesca!
Come on!
But it is a blond devil
with a wonderful smile
and smell incredible.
Take care,
not to do too much tenerone
because women
like the assholes.
Can I keep it?
ln memory of the evening
most exciting of my life.
(SPEAKS lN UCRAlNO)
l love you so much ...
- Ukraine is part of Europe?
- Yes, Europe. - Ln fact!
(BELL)
Who the fuck is that? Check!
- Noise?
- Yes, what you want?
I shut off,
I can go from your balcony?
Come on, the balcony there.
Hello, Svetlana!
Look here!
You have robbed lntimissimi?
- I am a souvenir. - How do you
missing to finish the globe?
Honduras and Yemen, are very rare.
- So you're well Lichtenstein?
- Yes.
- Luxembourg?
- There I have them all!
I'll go, we're on the sixth floor.
A collector of tanga
gentleman! Attention,
might think
I've killed him.
But imagine ...
Me a hand?
Come!
Pull!
Thanks.
Imagine if you squashed
on the sidewalk with these pants!
- Here we go.
- Thank you. - Please.
- What?
- I dislocated a shoulder.
I'll Come.
It 's just a small contraction,
quiet.
Does it hurt here?
- Now?
- Best.
Just like that ..
Just like that ..
- Thank you.
- Please.
But are you crazy?
But how?
I do the massaggino,
you're on ...
But if it makes you a massage
it means he wants to have sex?
- Come on!
- Leverage these hands!
You also naked in a bed,
You're sick!
And you're a freak frigid.
Go!
Go you, this is my home!
Go, if not call the police!
The drops for colic
work?
'Yes, now sleeps,
but two hours of feeding.
At least you take advantage of travel
to get some sleep '.
Maybe! I swear I try.
(Knock on the door)
Sorry, I have knocked.
- Go, do not worry.
- Good night.
- Hello, my love.
- Give a kiss to Paul.
- Hello.
- Hello.
- I'm not sleepy, you?
- Very, and backward.
But are you okay?
Very well, thank you.
At this point I should ask:
want to join?
Should I ... because you want to join?
- To you be?
- Yes .. no.
You are a player, I'm a
coach, who knows what to think.
And 'soon, come on!
A chat and then to bed?
Eva, do not ...
Four, however,
they become five!
Excuse the mess.
- Beer?
- No, and you should not even you.
The more I drink
and I do a lot of points the same.
- Ready for tomorrow?
- Well prepared.
It's hot, right? Almost sultry ...
Almost.
Eva, as a friend, coach,
but mostly as a male,
I believe that we are entering
in a danger zone.
Remember that the laboratory
of sports science
says that having sex
before a sporting event
may strongly affect
the provision of an athlete.
It has never been demonstrated.
ln fact, but we said
Talk''and then to bed.''
Then we chat!
Choose a topic.
- How many games have done
together? - Bell'argomento!
of which 345 won and 58 lost,
but 22 in the fifth set, which is not bad!
One thing I did not tell
all this time.
What?
I'm in love with you
for six years.
Six years?
So we talk about the championship
when we were
defeated in the final ...
in Tenerife.
- Did you hear what I said?
- Yes.
In this regard, I wanted to ask:
in fridge
there are spirits?
What happened to your jar?
I do not know, I never happened,
I swear, never, never, never!
Do not worry,
is not the end of the world.
No, you're wrong!
Until it comes to other steps,
but my jar, no!
It can not happen, it should not happen!
It 's over!
No, I did indeed!
Stupid, stupid!
- (Francis) you?
- No.
It 's a very bad dream, a nightmare.
(Knock on the door)
- Who is it?
- Bertocchi, it's me, Victor!
One moment,
I was going over schemes.
The slip!
- Chairman, sleep well?
- Very good.
But something unfortunate happened
and she is responsible.
- I know, sorry.
- I understood everything.
- Everything?
- Everything.
President, that I can explain.
You are too permissive with the athletes
and they took advantage.
Tonight the Castles
did not sleep in his room.
The Castles?
- I can not believe.
- You find it and make a cazziatone.
Without discount, because I know
you have a certain relationship.
- Platonic.
- We'll miss you!
But in this case
I ask her to be tough!
- Tough-hard, I guarantee.
- Bravo!
- So I can ...
- Must!
I'm going to finish the scheme ...
Today we win!
- Beautiful here!
- Thank you.
These are things that I took from the trip
with my father.
You've been in a lot of places!
It also travel free,
is an airplane pilot.
You're lucky,
My father is a psychologist.
And when he discovered
that you're a lesbian?
For the first time I saw
in difficulty, what satisfaction!
- End break?
- Burn those calories!
Now the menu includes a massaggino
on the house.
I agree.
I go to the bathroom.
Where is the bathroom?
- The bathroom ... - The Red Door
with the word''nuclear area.''
Thanks.
When I see the field-mouse,
I am as hungry as a wolf!
- Hello, donut.
- Hello, Psycho.
- Andrea?
- It 's so lucky!
Hello, witch,
how did it go last night?
Four hours of wild sex
and a strong desire to see her again.
- And you?
- Keep your voice down, it's in the bathroom.
- Oh, but you ...
- Yes, three times!
Great!
Could you lend me that oil and rosemary
for massage?
- I want to make them feel my touch!
- I'll take it.
I'll be waiting there.
- What flavor was the oil
for massage? - Rosemary.
- I guess this is it.
- Thank you.
- I do not find.
- We had lvan.
- Martha, do you want?
- I just want to take a look.
- Go away, it's mine!
- What a waste!
Permission.
Like to sit?
- Thank you.
- Please.
The house remains assigned
my client
and she agrees to give
a monthly allowance of 4,000 .
Exactly!
It only remains to be determined
who takes the car,
a Beetle in 1973
I do not care,
there are fond,
the scrap can.
Given the age of the vehicle, agrees.
From the photos it seems to me a lemon.
A lemon?
Of course, such a lemon!
You boys do this ...
As long as it suits you,
will hold the usual car
and then it gets old, the wrecks.
Just go to the dealer
miles and take a zero,
Metallic blonde with two airbags
front and two behind so great.
Well done, congratulations!
Y'know what?
I hope that God is female
and that when you males
arrive in the afterlife,
you an ass like that!
With permission.
So?
Nothing ... Look at that!
- Nothing!
- Try again.
Provo, but ...
ll your pea
retired early
are ten minutes that the stimulus
but calm!
- How is it possible?
- I do not know, have you tried with viagra?
No. .. yes.
- For three days.
- Strike!
the two cases are:
stress or misuse dell'arnese.
It happens.
Up to a certain age, waved
as the string of a cowboy
then he gets tired and goes on vacation,
catalepsy in your case,
hibernating in a deep coma,
in eternal sleep.
Enough! And then?
We can do
Dynamic sonography of the penis.
Miss, I prepared 10 mm
prostaglandin.
- What would this ultrasound?
- A routine examination.
You control the flow of blood
penis is in flaccid state ...
in your case go to a wedding ...
both in the erection,
induced by an injection.
So if you find a problem
hydraulic or psychological.
Please, Chiara.
- Good morning.
- No!
- You work here?
- Yes, Nurse ... hospital!
- What is the diagnosis, doctor?
- Erectile Dysfunction serious.
Ah, helpless!
Renato!
- Nicole!
- I do not understand a thing.
A man gets 40 years
Interestingly, even cool.
Get Dr. House!
And 'lame, old, wrinkled, asshole
and the row of girls
out the door.
A woman should be helpful,
Independent, shaved,
witty, nasty, young, thin,
good in the kitchen, in bed,
sexy but not too much,
no children and no brain.
And when the first hair
white, hell begins.
You took you 40 years to understand
how things work
and when you think you have in hand
the rules of the game,
gives you a bitch on the bus
the place, if I were his grandmother!
Fuck!
You are very upset, what happens?
Are to be scrapped?
You?
ll my opinion can not compete
with that of the bitch,
but you're perfect
as you are, trust me.
- I know because I say so.
- Did you know?
- Because you are my friend.
- Ln fact.
Excuse the outburst.
Nicole!
But tell him, damn it!
Ouch!
(WALTER) Take everything!
Beautiful!
- (MAN) We're almost done.
- There are those of the maid!
Better, more exciting.
Not at all, speak up!
Sooner or later
will know the whole world.
Worldwide ... better then!
Hush,
is better to continue
to maintain privacy.
(MAN), Mister?
- Close when you have finished?
- Yes.
I close myself.
This is a very nice
for me and for the whole team.
I have to thank our Mister
for everything that is giving me.
Exaggerated, I'm not giving anything.
.. But it can also be
Stern, hard, when you need it
And makes us work hard
beyond the normal training.
- Eva is always nicer.
- You?
ln short, is a process.
Are you kidding? Last year
did the nude calendar.
Now the calendar do do
dogs and pigs
and then you know that in volleyball
the stronger ones are ugly.
She is strong, so ...
How much did Pauline poop today?
Watch ...
I think he has done so much
right now. Quantifies!
(BELL)
Hurry, I only have an hour or so.
You women are just superficial.
- Please?
- Do you think about just that!
We could do a billion things,
like watching a movie,
just stay on the sofa's arms ...
Rather than just sex you want to do ...
What the fuck!
Are you kidding me?
- And you do not do it more.
- Exactly.
A minimum of romance!
I understand.
If you wanted to cut, you only had a text message.
Lisa!
Wait!
Stop!
Maybe if you come back tomorrow ...
(SINGS) Lisa's gone away,
Here is no longer his home.
Lisa's gone away,
Is no longer mine.
- I called because it was
Forgot ... - The powder?
- No.
- Keys? Underpants? - No.
It 's a bit that can not hear you howl,
you've got always that little problem
patagarro''to''?
I soundproof the room.
Anyway, my patagarro''''
does not concern you, okay?
No, thank goodness!
That's my house!
Please.
Chiara, I am very confused ...
Come on! Hello.
Mom, what are you doing?
Andrew, come on.
In your opinion,
I'm so in reality?
Like what?
The image in the mirror ...
I'm the one there?
No, I prefer the reality,
at least I can embrace.
- Beautiful Mommy!
- Thank you.
Hold strong!
- Even 5 minutes!
- Enough of this romance.
I have to go on.
- Where are you going?
- Seeing Martha, you?
Paola wants to get me out,
but I do not I feel like it.
But you should.
Exit, there is a world outside!
- And now you're a single bona.
- Bona?
Andrea,
the classical high school did you ...
Palatable, non-bona!
I am ready.
Spending tomorrow.
Bona!
A single bona!
Yes ..
You have danced too?
No, but I'm not used
dancing in heels!
I'm not used to dance
in general.
And then I feel like a pathetic old
who does the little girl.
If you are elderly,
I'm Barack Obama.
Pleasure, Barack, I'm Nicole.
Champagne?
No, I already had three mojitos,
Then there are the glasses.
A problem, a solution!
- In my shoes no!
- Do not you like?
I was wondering if I can reuse
the foot bed.
We just have to find out.
- Cheers!
- Cheers!
Betraying for the first time
is traumatic, then you get used to.
But why have you bogged
with your player?
lmpelagare ...
Bottarelli for myself!
- How many times?
- A couple.
- How many?
- Twelve.
But included in the gym yesterday ...
and this morning on the horse.
- What does 13.
- Yes, but it is uncomfortable.
- So do not count?
- It has not.
Remember, the Romans used to say:
Cheating''humanum est,
pericolosum persevere.'' Got it?
No, I did greek.
But we must tell us everything?
A: When you betray
is for one night stand,
if not, the women attack here,
am I right?
Very good.
- Who?
- It will be tired.
- He knew everything about life!
- Stop!
Two: never have a story
with your wife know.
Females have
a supernatural flair for the horns.
Come on, think of serious things.
Renato,
for a degree in performing arts and cinema:
in which film of 1987,
Michael Douglas puts the horns
his wife with a crazy
who then sought
and kill the rabbit?
-''Fatal Attraction.''
- Bravo, fuchsia cheese!
- What? - I do not have a rabbit.
- Did he have killed?
- Formaggino fuchsia.
- Go to shit!
However, this situation
does not concern me,
Eva is intelligent
and knows the situation.
They are all perfect
until they call you''love''.
Word''Love''is the most dangerous
after''marriage''.
I understand, speak tomorrow.
Not any more.
Mister,
you did a third set of fear!
Thanks.
- Let the tie-break?
- No, rather a time-out.
I have a pediatrician, I can not.
Okay, so tomorrow we go
extra time, love.
You said''love''?
Yes, you've got?
Love is a word ...
also as a vocabulary ...
I understand that you have some 'fear,
is a new situation for me too
and was not the right time.
Between your wife, your child ...
- And let's also the final
championship. - Mettiamocela.
But it has happened.
- (EVA) What did you mean before?
- When?
Before you told me
you had to tell me something important.
ln fact!
Eva ...
Eva ...
One of us has to stop.
You are wonderful,
We were good together,
but I did
an examination of conscience ...
(NOISE DOCClA, lNCOMPRENSlBlLE)
Maybe tomorrow we feel,
okay?
Maybe we feel!
I love you too.
Well, what good news!
Mommy!
Who are you? What are you doing here?
I am a friend of Nicole.
Nicole ... Mom?
Nicole!
- Wake up!
- Enough, I'm exhausted!
- Andrea!
- Mom, what the hell are you doing?
What are you doing here?
I thought you were alone, sad,
I brought croissants.
How cute!
Since you bring a stranger
naked inside the house?
I swear that when he came in,
he was dressed.
So we meet again?
Of course.
Would be 500 ,
but for the first time we do 400.
What?
The rate for the whole night, 400.
Sure.
(NlCOLETTA) Nature, 400 ...
The discount was already 100 .
Here are 50 . Go!
Thanks!
Hello.
I took her to dinner and then to my house,
Sonia was beautiful,
but when it was time,
I could not kiss her.
- I was natural.
- Again? You are a fag!
How many times do I have to say?
You do not like the flab mustache,
but I prefer the bird.
Exit with a man and do it over!
And now we hear our impotent.
Have you calmed down?
Apart from the fact
that are not powerless,
analysis are in place,
so it's just stress.
Here's another
who does not understand a shit!
This is called''denial.''
What are you doing psychologist
if you do not learn?
Do not you tell me
you do not get up more
since the closest you on hiatus?
- Yes.
- Then what is the shock!
To unlock them you must not go
in bed with any one,
you have to go with her.
- With her? - And with whom?
- But he hates me!
And you will find a way to make you
well, you're so pricey!
Hey!
Where are you going? A Woodstock?
No, I'm dressed
informally.
How about
if we leave it all behind
and let us know?
But I already know:
Frequently decerebration,
your weapon of seduction
is the circumvention of an incapable
and you have a social conscience
a radiator.
If I told you that I bought
Argentine fillet and a Brunello?
I'd say
that are vegetarian and teetotal.
If I told you that I made
a wok with vegetables?
I would say:''Who cares?''
- Not a tiramisu?
- Ll take me''on''is perfect for you!
Thanks, but I'm leaving tomorrow
for a tiring journey.
- Where are you going?
- Ln Antarctica.
Think if you meet those exalted
going to save the seals!
ln fact, I go with them.
- This is the mission for the whales.
- Cool!
But when the saved
where you put them?
Okay ...
Peace and love!
Marta!
I'm glad you came,
so I present to you Frank.
We're all gay!
But are you crazy?
Make outing too, is wonderful!
Francesca is at the center.
- Is not she beautiful?
- Very!
- You are very lucky.
- I know!
- So, this Francesca?
- That I did not lose.
- What are you doing?
- I want to immortalize the moment.
- It 's the way!
- What? - One in the center.
- That one?
- Cheese!
- Yes.
- But that's my Frank.
- No, it's mine.
- That's straight, I've been there.
- No, it's a lesbian.
- Straight!
- Lesbian!
- Straight!
- Lesbian!
- And if he bisexual?
Hello.
Hello ... you know you?
- For almost ten years.
- Best friends.
Oops!
- What game are you playing?
- Do you realize what you do?
- Why should I do?
- Takes us by the ass!
I like you both,
I get out of a devastating history
and I want a little 'light weight.
Would you like some 'lightness.
- The story had a devastating
male ... - O with a girl?
But who cares?
Today no one speaks, they dance!
Between the two litigants, the third dance!
How old are you!
Francesca!
That one must choose,
but the result seems obvious.
I bet a week
of dominance?
What tenderness!
You lose!
ll glucagon Mother's!
You've made a ton, my love.
There is no need to brag,
I'm cooking!
(TELEFONlNO)
Who is it?
Do not answer?
No, it is not compulsory to answer.
- Who is it?
- The merchant ... it says.
E 'rude call
Overtime ...
These are good for us?
So he did not ...
To forgive me,
I thought to offer a solution,
to better understand what I want.
- What?
- A holiday.
Saturday catch up friends
in Corsica for my birthday,
I have a tent, it would be nice
All three go together.
the you and Marta?
I do not know, in theory I should be studying
criminal law ... boh!
- Okay, I go there alone with Martha.
- No, wait, in theory!
ln practice, I come.
- I, you and Marta, the tent ...
- I'm happy.
- Martha and I call tell him.
- No!
Now it's in the pool, do not respond,
I'll tell him when he returns.
Okay.
- Good morning!
- Good morning.
- What are you doing here?
- I'm going too in Antarctica.
ll plight of whales
touches me a lot.
- Yes, and when? - The other day
I reread''Moby Dick''.
And I thought that it is inhumane
the way in which the whales ...
I do not know what game you're playing,
but look
that do not go there on a skiing holiday.
I know, I do not want layers
between the boxes, but only part.
But if you do not even know
what we do!
I've been on YouTube,
I saw what you do:
attack the whalers,
is very cool!
Let me show you
I'm not a jerk.
- You ask the impossible!
- One possibility is given to all.
- Okay.
- Great!
One important thing:
do not try again with me,
or I'll rip your balls
and fed to the penguins do.
- I'm nuts?
- Very.
When we arrive in Antarctica
Be discreet about my ...
- That little problem ...
- Quiet!
Chiara!
- How are you?
- Good.
lvan is a veteran of the association
and a great friend of mine.
lvan, Diego.
Diego, helpless as your neighbor!
(Lvan) Permit.
Go!
Up with that wall!
Well!
Brava!
- Hello, Dad.
- What a nice surprise!
(VlTTORlO) The're killing!
I came to say goodbye,
I go on vacation.
Have fun and fuck, I recommend!
Brava!
But when I play?
Emma has played throughout the tournament.
- Are you telling me that favor?
- We know it's your choice.
If there's one you can not stand
it is the Castle.
- Do not look it.
- Okay, come in his place.
What we do with mother?
We speak to me or you?
E 'useless.
She has a vision
somewhat 'distorted to me.
She thinks I'm an ignorant ...
(WALTER)
Castelli, out! Join the Gomez!
.. That is violent, rude.
the peasant?
What the fuck are you doing, brain-damaged?
Replace the Castles?
I chased him, is' Be careful!
We trust the Gomez!
Let us give time!
But then you're stupid?
(LN TUTTLE CHORUS) Dumb!
Show them who you are!
Brave however,
is bad luck ...
Fucking bad luck!
Replace me while I play well?
We lost, congratulations!
It 's a strategy
not to attract attention.
Rather worse,
I've never replaced the first,
now everyone will wonder
why you do it.
Are small differences
technical-tactical.
By the way, your wife?
Well, thank you.
- He's also losing weight.
- I'm glad.
Did you speak? What's New?
Of course, I started to run
the first unequivocal signs,
but the situation is delicate,
we need calm.
If you're taking the piss,
I tell her everything.
- Imagine ...
- And I say to the President.
- Pure?
- And you fall to bite the balls!
Right!
I also do the same thing
if I were in your shoes,
but look at me ...
Do I look like the guy?
No, indeed.
And so do the wall ...
You too, girls ...
I promise that after the competition
we go on holiday a month?
ll next season ...
This?
Galapagos
you and me alone on the deserted beach,
make love ten times
per day. Promise?
I promise.
Even if ten
I seem a bit 'too much ...
- I adore you.
- Me too, now go!
Get ready, you'll see how angry
President for the defeat.
I do not think, is a man's sport.
- How to de Cubertin said ...
- (VlTTORlO) Son of a bitch!
I want to take it with head
the bastard!
- (VlTTORlO) Son of a bitch!
- Exactly.
Shit, fuck!
Francesca!
- Sorry for the delay.
- Marta?
Can not do it, is under consideration.
Greets you.
What a pity! I tried calling
but it is still disconnected.
Let it be, is in seclusion!
Shall we go?
This leads me.
- I have your ticket.
- Thank you.
- How beautiful you are!
- Merci.
Dear Nicole,
We are not talking
trivial cosmetic surgery,
Here we talk about contemporary art.
If Michelangelo were alive today,
Bernini and Rodin
not carved in marble,
but in silicon.
Today I will give you
a great opportunity,
to start again
to be reborn.
- I must also remove your bra?
- Get him!
I'm used to seeing bodies horrible
and then we've known for years.
Exactly ...
Sit in
the circle of light.
Let's start with the body scanner.
Hold your breath.
Close your eyes.
Perfect!
You can clothe.
This is the situation.
lntanto we remove these horrible
Grandma's knickers!
This is the side A:
cellulite, stretch marks,
adipose tissue on the sides,
flabby triceps, chest deflated.
We see the side B?
Worse than the A side!
A little 'maintenance you could do it!
Do you have a small vial of cyanide?
Watch ... rigeneration!
Weight loss, push-up effect ...
This will be the new Nicole ...
that chick!
It seems Megan Fox with my face.
And this is the estimate
Megan Fox to become.
I made you a discount.
The friends of my ex-wives
are my friends.
(SPEAKS lN lNGLESE)
We must pursue
a Japanese whaling.
We must be prepared to act,
to intercept and stop her.
What do you mean?
Everything
they tell you to do, do it.
Sorry, I meant no foul''''...
I understand.
- We can do it!
- Yes!
Come on!
- Help me to fix the lines?
- I'm not capable.
You are powerless, not paralyzed!
In less than two hours we
in paradise!
I can not wait.
- Can I come too?
- Martha!
- Change your mind?
- Yes, I was convinced ... lvan.
Thanks, lvan!
I'm too happy!
Wait here, I'll be back.
- How did you get first?
- Hydrofoil. Give me the phone.
Come on, it was a joke!
Want to fight? And war is!
- What war? Give me a kiss!
- Kiss?
One by one ball in the center.
Today you play dirty, man.
- There's your wife.
- Where? - Here, talk to Eva.
Fuck!
- How are you?
- Well, I switched on the fly.
What to talk about?
Monica was telling me
that after the competition
you and you go a month in Greece.
But not sure ...
It 'sure, but with the child
you can never say,
then let us not forget that
happened between Sparta and Athens
tensions are still alive,
I would not want this summer
dig up the hatchet,
then enter the Peloponnese ...
the Tigris, the Euphrates ...
Yes, a erupts August
the Trojan War!
What a fool, always wants to play!
- Yesterday's got tickets
for the ferry. - Yes?
Hurry up and win the championship
because I have to rest.
Escape, after a while 'I feed.
Hello, love.
- Hello.
- Hello, Monica.
- Have you got tickets yesterday.
- Yes, but can be redeemed.
- There is already understand ...
- Walter ...
I swear
I tell you that by Saturday.
Well, then Saturday night
Come to dinner with me.
Maybe you even stopped to sleep.
Perfect.
- In case you have no idea how ...
- Shut up.
- Anyway, I knew it.
- Two to one for me!
And now trying to do the male
and plan well the stakes,
if not, tonight we fly away.
- Bath?
- Yes Andrew, we join later?
Yes, I put the stakes and finish.
Then we inflate
also the mattresses.
Done!
You are teleported?
Marta! Francesca!
There is none.
No, no!
Marta! Francesca!
What are you doing?
- I'd say it was a paradise!
- Are not you coming? Are you ashamed?
As comes to mind
so to come here?
All dressed up ... is indecent,
there are also children.
- It is bare! - Are you kidding?
- He wants to make the voyeur?
Respect the rules,
otherwise where are we going to end?
Disgusting pig!
- Paola, you have a minute?
- Yes.
- We have known each other a lot, right?
- Yes.
I am a widower,
are just many years.
I have to ask
something very important.
Renato, do not be offended,
but you're not my type.
You're not even my type.
Tonight when we get out,
I'll make you a question
and you must answer: no.
- No.
- No, dry and firm.
- A''no''is not denied to anyone!
- Thank you.
Evening barbecue and bonfire.
- Are you two?
- Ln three.
- There is a friend? Maybe straight ...
- No, a friend.
- Friend ... so to speak.
- There he is!
- He is Andrea.
- Hello everyone.
As you see,
Andrea is a very athletic boy.
And 'the Journal of today?
I can read the latest news ...
No.
Got something to hide?
Please.
Bites?
Two even!
- Girls, are you okay?
- No.
Not now.
Would you like to go out to eat
sushi together?
No, unfortunately I have to do.
- Let us?
- No thanks, I do not feel tonight.
Come on, is sushi!
The last time I ate
sushi, I spent 400 .
I offer myself, and if you do not like sushi
We can go to the restaurant.
Is there a place there
where the food is bad, but bad ...
I'd like to, but not tonight.
Thanks, Renato.
Hello.
So? What do we do?
You sleep!
- You sleep?
- I would say yes.
- I turn off the light?
- Want to sleep with the lights on?
- I turn it off, good night.
- Good night.
Sure we want to stay?
Safe, secure, safe, secure ...
- How are glad you came!
- What is mutual.
- Good night.
- 'Night.
- But then it is very late ...
- I'll do with the teeth!
- You sleep?
- No.
It 's my hand, you moron!
Good night.
A ship!
Why not ask if they have
something for seasickness?
Nah, that's Whaling
we hamper!
Hinder that?
But it's giant!
they are the real giants!
If the harpoon, were killed.
ll our task
is to make him lose time.
Why do not escape under water?
Instinct tells him to go
surface when they are afraid.
The catch per fatigue.
- Check that in a while 'shooting at us!
- What? - We shoot!
Beware! Down!
(SPEAKS lN GlAPPONESE)
- Operate the pump.
- The pump?
You have to stop him from taking aim.
Beware!
Was wrong!
- (CHlARA) made a mistake!
- (Lvan) Yes!
You're right,
but put yourself in my shoes.
ll child cried,
thought to appendicitis,
we have taken to the hospital and
luckily it was nothing
Air only in the belly.
Walter, I must ask
an important thing
but this time, be sincere,
Do you promise?
Sure.
I will never play by the holder
or I'll be always on the bench?
Since I coach,
You've been the owner ...
You know what I mean.
Bench or the owner?
Bench.
But then
because you said''I love you''?
It 'just that you ask me.
There was the''I love you''in the phrase,
but was contained in the phrase
''Feel''.
It was a''love you''involuntary
By a yellow card.
I say to defuse ...
I spent two days of hell.
Marta knew
I was allergic to mushrooms
and crushed them in the sauce.
The last time you've blown up so much
that seemed to Rocky Balboa.
In fact, I ran away, leaving
Francesca at the mercy of the hyena.
- But yesterday, I retaliated.
- What?
That threw me merdaccia
among the jellyfish.
- What you are now?
- 5 to 4, but tomorrow's draw.
I replaced the sunscreen
with mayonnaise.
- Forte!
- Lvan, let's get to work!
I salute you, have fun.
I was pleased
see you work with us.
We do a big ass!
And I think it's worth it.
I thought you were more ...
most selfish, arrogant,
uncaring, misogynist ...
Thanks for the compliments.
Also I thought you were
more spinster, boring, sour.
- Also as a compliment.
- Of course.
Sorry, there is an albatross dirty
oil, I have to clean it,
instead of sitting here doing''Titanic''
you give me a hand?
I am an expert on dirty albatross!
- Come on!
- An expert ...
This little thing that you have between your legs
will cause
all your problems.
His fault,
I've done a mess.
We hope that the mother
knowing it,
otherwise we're in a half too
that has nothing to do.
When you become a man,
I understand and forgive me.
True?
With this irresponsible act,
you played the scooter at age 14.
(RUMORl) What?
Sparano?
Oh God!
I think it's for you.
Now occurred.
- Eva, what are you doing?
- Asshole!
Quiet!
But what happened?
- Nothing, an uncontrolled ascent.
- What have you done?
I have not convened for the final
and was outraged.
- Your husband is a shit!
- How dare you?
Just because you do not play?
Are you crazy?
ln fact ... all fall!
He needed to fuck
and I shall fall
as a poor fool.
He has a lot of imagination ...
Love, where are you going?
I know that Walter is not
Subbuteo playing tonight.
-What will be of harm to the condo?
-At least 5000.
- It 's the figure of shit ...
- That is priceless.
(VOClNA) Pig! My father
told me right away!
Forgive me,
but do not do it for ten months.
(VOClNA) So what?
I had your baby in your belly!
Forgiveness was a moment of madness.
Yes, one moment ... Tell me how
Schiacciatrice crush you!
Porco, out of this house!
No, let us make peace.
Sorry, I did take.
Bet now comes out and says:
''Friends, I made a mess!''
Here are at least 10,000
of food per month.
When a man meets with her lover
a woman with a baby ...
- Friends, I made a mess.
- They are dicks!
- You're a moron.
- Problems?
I had two crabs in the bag
I have crunched the iPod,
Do you know something?
the crabs in the Corsica
are big music fans.
Guys, I decided
what do you do tonight to celebrate.
- What?
- A horseback riding.
- Strong!
- A horse?
- We know to go, right? - Of course,
I was born on a farm.
- Whew! And you?
- "Me?
Sure!
I tell you one thing:
Palio di Siena!
(ANDREA) How I came to mind
to do this shit?
(ANDREA) Stop him!
Still, damn it!
How do you stop this horse?
What a great idea you had!
-Where did you learn to ride like that?
-It 's a method of my own!
(MARTA) Let those who come first
the riding! Go!
Piano!
(ANDREA) Stop!
Wait for me, dammit!
What a hit!
- Thanks for the great experience.
- Nothing.
A great trip.
Listen ...
I can tell you something else?
I was an idiot
to try it with you.
What you're giving me now ...
is much more satisfying sex.
You are cheerful, intelligent, beautiful,
sensitive.
Saddle is the last of my ...
Ladies and Gentlemen,
the return of the living dead!
I told you, are not powerless.
- I love you.
- No, now is not the case.
- No?
- No.
- And now?
- Not true.
It's six.
Sorry, I have the course of tango,
bring it on file.
Take care!
Renato!
Hello.
- This sends you Paola.
- Thank you.
Beautiful! E 'yours?
What do you do?
And 'old ... ie, traditional.
This is the machine
that went to the moon.
The world is digital,
but in the film.
It is neither color
or black and white,
but it is full of shades of gray.
I'll show you something.
- Please.
- What?
This is my darkroom.
Between a binder and the other
sometimes spends so much time!
Look.
This is a roll, keep it in hand.
The film is gelatin,
is a living thing.
Development here and die here.
And these are my photos.
They are beautiful.
This is one of my favorites.
We are in Mongolia,
we slept in a tent,
and then in the morning
I did a ride.
- You?
- I.
(ALARM)
Six and a quarter ... come!
Run!
Five seconds ...
four ...
No!
Good grief!
Maurizio!
Maurizio!
Damn, I'm sorry.
Explain to me?
The door is reinforced to protect
archive information,
Opening and closing are controlled
by an automatic time
which is activated at 6:15 p.m. sharp.
- What is the problem? Telephony.
- No field below.
- There will be a landline.
- About yes, not here.
Vigilance!
The supervisor has already left.
You're telling me ...
I hope that you have no commitments
up at 7 tomorrow morning.
- Oh! - Stay calm!
- Calm shit!
I want to go back home,
I'm hungry, thirsty ...
This is not a problem.
Tuna, pea and ham.
Soup, bacon, cheese,
chocolate, biscuits, wine.
If the lady has some desire,
We are here to serve.
Honey, come down, otherwise we do not find
parking at the cinema.
I get off.
- Look who's here!
- Doctor, how are you?
the good, you?
There are three sessions that do not come.
- I was out. - Did you
what did I tell you?
Have you tried using the station?
Yes, I had to get
to the South Pole,
a horrifying experience!
But the bird?
She was right.
Proof with hippies,
The parrot is back to flying.
Asshole!
Asshole!
I can tell you something?
Chiara ...
not bad.
I'm in love with her,
am the happiest man in the world.
You know what?
That your friend down there
if they had noticed it before you.
I'm going to a conference
premature ejaculation.
Take care,''''Hold on!
What a guy!
- You're done.
- Love you crazy?
- What did you call?
- Love.
As long as you call me
Frigid''hippies''steps,
so you're an idiot
that collects briefs
but if there is one thing
that pisses me off is the hypocrisy.
You do not know what respect,
let alone love!
Goodbye!
Final league:
Novara against Pesaro.
'And' the game of truth
for Bertocchi,
That only by winning tonight, it could
Save a fluctuating season.
- Where's Eve?
- I do not know why you ask me?
- Who should I ask?
- There are many people ...
Bertocchi,
we do not make jokes tonight.
I tried calling
and the phone turned off.
Do you know what happens
If we lose tonight, right?
E-SW-NE-RO.
- Bravo.
- Thank you, Chairman.
Come on, crushed!
(BELL)
- What do you want?
- I wanted to apologize.
Sorry my ass!
No!
(TELECRONlSTA)
Bertocchi Walter is in trouble,
forced to deploy
the Cuban Gomez,
because of the mysterious
absence of Castelli.
Go!
(CRONlSTA) One to zero for Pesaro.
Not sure how long someone
no cooking for me.
- It was all delicious. - Ln a life
I did the previous chef.
I made the dog trainer,
I rented bicycles,
I did the acrobat.
Yes, the acrobat!
Well done!
- And now you do a somersault.
- No, I trust, stop!
Rather, I am out of practice.
- How many lives did you have?
- Three.
No, maybe four.
And maybe there will be
a fifth, right?
Mah ..
The first year
I came here to play
success is a mess.
I was pregnant with a bastard.
I was lost in love
and when I told him, I shouted
he did not care about me
and then disappeared.
After I lost my baby.
I was a little girl.
The only person I was close
in those days was my coach.
I just wanted to tell you that Walter
is a great person
And I ...
and I'm in love.
I'm sorry.
If I had not
broken boxes,
he would never have betrayed.
Because he loves you.
He loves you.
Help the planet! What to do if
of a nuclear accident!
Guys, want to know what to do
or do you not care about anything?
lvan, help me,
Only you can save me.
You're in the right place,
help animals in need.
I can not talk to Clare
I do not know where it is.
- It 'game?
- Yes.
Shit, I knew it! Where is he?
Clare said
who does not want to see you,
so I can not tell you
which is in the Cetacean Sanctuary.
And where exactly?
I swore to clarify that
I would not have said
which is located between Liguria
and Corsica, not insist.
These are the coordinates of the ship
I've never given.
Thank you, the better.
- (Lvan) Good boy!
- Look at Clara is angry.
I love violent women.
Touch you!
Mia!
No, a minimum of dignity!
Time-out!
Simply, there is a limit to everything!
Girls, never to
the ball to Gomez, okay?
(PUBBLlCO Rejoice)
- Why have you thought about?
- Someone asked me ...
That still loves you.
Exchange, enter the Castle,
Gomez comes out.
Come on!
Mister, because I replace?
Because you're a duffer,
a very large,
immeasurable suck!
Come on, down ...
If the item will Novara,
win the Scudetto.
Thanks.
Tomorrow, I ask the president
to be sold,
I do not like to sit on the bench.
I'm sorry.
Me too.
I am ready.
(BOY)
And now Frank has to kiss ...
- Andrea.
- (TUTTLE) No, Martha!
You do decide to celebrated.
All right.
(TUTTLE) Oh ...
(TUTTLE) OLE!
Bravo!
Enjoy!
Marta, where are you going?
Let her go, then go.
(RENATO) And now ... magic.
Do not even look like me.
Rather you.
You're beautiful.
Hey!
Is there something wrong?
But I really like me?
No, you do not like you,
I'm in love with you
twelve years.
What a record!
What did I tell you!
Kiss!
Fifty
fucking half an hour.
Now we leave them alone.
Everybody out!
Monica!
Monica!
- How are you?
- Good.
Who are these two fat guys?
These?
They are the uncles of Molise.
Remember
who are facing difficulties to speak Italian?
We have got that horrible
under the horse dies.
It was a dead donkey ... ugly.
Horrible.
Watch ...
These are
my classmates.
- I remember them ... ugly.
- Bruttini!
- Do you think this gesture is enough
for you to forgive? - Yes.
I love you.
Now that is?
Vale.
But now you come back down
and pick up all this triumph
of g-strings,
why are you polluting the sea.
- Seriously?
- Not at all '.
Orders!
- Hello!
- What are you doing here?
You had no shelter today?
I guess I'm healed.
(TELEFONlNO)
- What the fuck you want?
- (ANDREA) That way!
I wanted to tell you three things,
The first is that I played.
Bravo!
Second: I've put the snake
the bag is alive
We became friends.
Salutamela. The third?
The third is that you were right,
hydrofoil is done first.
- Hello.
- And Francesca?
Who?
That bitch undecided
that made us fight?
- I do not know.
- How can you not love you?
- Let's make peace?
- Kissing you all!
- Stop fighting with women!
- I swear!
I closed it with women,
at least for this summer.
I do not want to see a woman
for the rest of the holiday.
- I saw you first.
- No, and no one is a lesbian.
Not at all, is convinced straight!
Want to bet a week
of dominance?
A month!
---SUB-iTA---T4P3---TranslationRUBELRAFSUB-Eng---