Mean Girls 2 (2011) Movie Script
There are times in your life
when you find yourself
in very awkward situations.
I mean, just Iook at that face, Jo.
Abby needs you.
We need you.
And we're willing to pay.
And this would
be one of those moments.
But I swear, it's not like I'm
selling my kidney or anything.
Although, that would
have been less painful.
But I'm getting ahead of myself.
Let me start at the beginning.
And it's the big day,
the qualifying race of the Indy 500.
- She takes her position...
- This is my dad.
...revs the motor
of her stock car, hoping...
To not crash and burn on
the Iast Iap of adolescence.
- Oh, that's my girl.
- Dad built engines for race cars.
And so did l.
Ignore the pigtails.
I was more naive back then.
Because of his work,
I changed schools
two times a year
for the past eight years.
This doesn 't make me a loner
with a highly evolved
defense mechanism or anything.
OK, fine, it does.
Today, everything
was about to change.
It was my first day
at North Shore High,
the last stop before
Carnegie Mellon University,
my dream school.
My rules of survival were simple:
Don 't stand out,
never raise your hand in class
and watch your back at all times.
New town, same school,
same parking lot.
Everyone obsessed
with the freedom of their first car.
It's an identity, like the muscle cars
who think they own the road,
and check out every passing vehicle.
Smart cars who don 't fit in.
The "I'm so perky I might
shake off my tube top " cutesy cars.
And then there's the most
dangerous vehicle on the road,
the high-performance,
high-maintenance sports cars.
If they liked you,
your life was all green lights.
- Hi.
- Hi.
If they didn 't,
you were nothing more than
a wreck on the side of the road.
At North Shore,
they were called the Plastics,
and Mandi Weatherly
was the number one Plastic.
She dotted her name with a
signature heart above the "i. "
Probably because she didn 't
actually possess that organ.
Her two sidekicks were Chastity Meyer,
who was stupid enough to hit a home
run with any boy willing to play,
and Hope Plotkin, uber-hypochondriac,
who believed that germs led to ugliness,
and ugliness led to death.
And thus, my number one rule
for survival: no girl drama.
Actually, no drama, period.
PIease, please, don't be ruined!
And in high school,
an already embarrassing moment
can go from bad...
...to worse.
- Are you OK?
- How bad do I Iook?
She couldn't have looked worse.
- You Iook great.
- Really? Thanks.
I'm Abby Hanover.
Yeah, you must be new.
I'm part of the welcoming committee.
Well, there's only
two of us really and...
...and I'd... I'd Iove
to show you around.
- Are they gone?
- Yeah.
Listen, I think I can find my way
to the front office, thanks.
So, Jo, I see your dad's big in NASCAR.
Well, Iet me set your mind at ease.
We know how to deal with
celebrities here at North Shore.
One of our Iunch Iadies was
on the first season of American ldol.
- Good to know.
- Yeah, it was pretty hot.
And we're also aware
of your many moves.
OK.
'Cause we're aware that students
who move around a Iot
often wind up as
serial killers or actors.
Hey, did I mention we have
an excellent drama department?
I'm not really into drama,
but I do know you have
an advanced shop class.
Menial Iaborer rather than intellectual.
I can respect that.
The cheerleading squad
will be going to the public library
for a field trip.
Now, last year,
we had some problems with that,
where we had 1 2 girls go,
and we had 1 5 girls come back.
I know how much you all love vampires,
but remember,
the school nurse will be
heading up the blood drive,
so sign up for that now.
Home Ec's down the hall, miss.
Actually, as refreshingly sexist
as that is,
I'm here for Advanced Shop.
- Drafting class.
- Right.
Well, we Iost Mike
to that circular saw incident,
so you can be Tyler's partner.
OK, everybody,
get started on your birdhouses.
Trusses or triangles, I don't care.
That's about all
I can deal with right now.
- Hey, Tyler, I'm Jo.
- Hey.
- What's his deal?
- Well, Mr. Giamatti
bleeds Texas A&M maroon and white,
and they Iost Saturday.
If they want to be taken seriously,
they better beat the Longhorns.
Don't Iet Giamatti hear you say that.
And just when a guy seems all dreamy
and has eyes you can fall into...
So we have to build
a Iame birdhouse.
I guess you could decorate it.
...he opens his mouth
and sounds like an ass.
Wow, thanks.
But I was thinking I could
carve the dovetail joint.
- I'm impressed.
- That makes one of us.
In every school,
students have their lunch gang.
As my dad says, your racer
is only as good as your pit crew.
Cutest dog ever, Mandi!
Thanks! Coco Chanel really
sets off my new purse.
You had her checked for rabies, right?
Too bad you couldn't get
the new Prada bag with the fringe.
Would've totally matched her brown fur.
Hello! Fringe is so out.
And I'm at the top of the wait Iist for
the new patent Ieather Prada satchel.
But you've already waited,
Iike, six months for the fringe...
Of course, Mandi,
fringe is so past tense.
Vogue says crimson
is the new accessory,
and you're totally
gonna rock that Iook.
Oh, I know.
Lost much, Iittle freshies? Scram.
Ten dogs in a minute. Let's do this!
You guys are goin' down.
We're gonna win, come on.
- Yeah. Yeah, Iet's go, Iet's go.
- Come on.
- Nick, focus!
- Come on, man.
Chastity, stop drooling.
You know what Mandi
thinks about you and Tyler.
What are you talking about?
Do not play dumb with me.
I don't have to play dumb.
Besides, the cashier
totally sneezed on your salad.
Pay up, you two Iosers.
God, Nick is just so nasty.
I'm only dating him 'cause he's probably
getting a full ride to UCLA.
You know, one week in LA and I'II be
a bikini model-hyphen-reality star
hyphen-awesome!
- I heard Amy Hall is totally into him.
- Oh, she wouldn't dare.
Nickie, over here. I missed you.
- Hey, babe.
- Hey, have you been Iifting weights?
Oh, dude, your rat-dog just tongued me.
Shut up, Nick.
You'II hurt Coco Chanel's feelings.
No groping south of the equator.
Or north, creep.
Wow, the hot chick can
really handle herself.
Wonder what else she can handle.
- Who the hell is she?
- Her name is Jo, Jo Mitchell.
She's in my bio class.
Somebody said she came somewhere,
from, Iike, FIorida or Texas.
Then I also heard that she's
an exchange student from Russia.
Oh, what did they exchange her for?
She's kinda pretty, don't you think?
Well...
...if you're into pleather.
Hello, there. Hi, Coco Chanel.
Go back to Mandi, go on.
Go, go, go.
AII right, just a Iittle bit.
Where's Coco Chanel?
Bad Iittle girl.
Oh, my God! Who did that?
- Who fed Coco Chanel?
- It was Abby.
- Abby did it.
- You? Again?
I'm sorry, I didn't know.
I'm really sorry, Mandi!
I'II buy you another purse.
Or you can just have mine.
Is that what I think it is?
- Duck.
- I Iove ducks.
It's the Prada fringe purse.
My dad got it for me Iast month, but...
Last month? Just go!
Stay down there,
and don't ever Iook at me again.
Better yet,
don't even breathe the same air.
Hey. Well, how was it?
I saw a girl become
roadkill in the cafeteria.
Gotta Iove high school.
Speaking of my escape, has my
Carnegie Mellon application arrived?
Hey, you know, I was Iookin' today,
and I saw that the University of Ohio
has a great architectural program.
You could stay close to home,
transform Toledo
into an architectural wonderland.
Dad, what's going on?
I'm applying early decision
at Carnegie Mellon.
What do you wanna go there for, huh?
They don't even have a good mascot.
I mean, a Scottish terrier.
Who's gonna be intimidated by that?
PIus, you...
You qualify for in-state tuition here.
Oh, my God.
What happened to my tuition?!
Jo... Look, I'm sorry.
I kept hoping that
the market would rebound,
but my investments are in the tank,
and now NASCAR sponsors
have cut spending...
Then make them un-cut spending!
Mom went to Carnegie Mellon,
I... I have to go there.
- She Ioved it!
- I know, I know.
I'm sorry I Iet you down.
I know you're disappointed,
Jo, and that's OK.
Honey, you don't always
have to be so strong.
Strong? I was trying not to panic.
But when you've moved
as much as I have,
you kinda get attached to the idea
of settling down in one place
for four years.
In this case, my mother's alma mater.
My dad and I have been
on our own for a long time.
My mom died before I was one.
So life wasn 't exactly your typical
warm and fuzzy greeting card.
But I wasn 't the only one
in my own personal hell.
Abby was hoping
that her swollen, black ankle
might be enough for Mandi to forget
about her dog's infamous upchuck.
And it might have been...
if not for the two's long history.
Jealousy is a funny thing.
They had lived across
from each other for years.
And while Mandi
seemingly had everything...
...Abby had more.
She had two parents
who went a little overboard
for their darling Abby.
First, there was the infamous
moon bounce war at age five.
Mandi's was cool,
but Abby's was three stories high.
Yay!
Then, the French Revolution
Halloween meltdown at age 1 1.
Mandi flaunted her
store-bought peasant costume,
until she spotted Abby's
utterly perfect,
hand-stitched,
Marie Antoinette royal gown.
And finally, the great
bra incident of junior high.
- Hi, Mandi.
- Hi.
Well, that had more to do with nature.
Still, Mandi might have
found someone else to hate,
if Abby hadn 't done the unthinkable.
Mandi, oh, my God! Someone
has a better parking space than us.
Hey, babe, who snagged
the plush disabled spot?
I guess you're number two now.
Two? Two?
Mandi hated being number two.
- This is war.
- Oh, God.
- EIIiot, we need a Iittle favor.
- Sure.
Chastity.
- Hey.
- Anything.
- You're on the Web team, right?
- Of course.
Trained in Java and C++.
I also have my Math CIub Card,
Hacker Membership, Journalist Pass,
and I do a Iittle salsa
for the Iadies.
How can I be of service?
- Sorry.
- Oh, gross!
Abby Scabby's face Iooks as red and
pussy as it did in seventh grade.
Zit cream much?
Mandi was creative,
ruthless, unrelenting.
- I'd seen her kind before.
- Need a napkin?
And this was just the beginning.
Brutal.
You know, most girls
would have Iaughed,
texted back or posted a status update.
Do I Iook Iike most girls?
Oh, God.
What a paint job!
Need another one?
Hey, Abby, Iet me
give you a ride home.
I don't bite.
- Nice house.
- Thanks.
Abby? Honey, what's wrong?
- May I help you?
- Oh, hi.
I gave Abby a ride home from school,
and she dropped this.
What happened to Abby's car?
Did she have an accident?
She had an accident, didn't she?
Was she hurt?
No, it wasn't an accident.
It was just some girls at school.
Again? I knew we should
have sent her to St. Mary's.
Right. Well, tell Abby,
Jo said goodbye.
She's a wreck.
Our poor baby, she keeps saying
that everybody hates her.
I'II buy her some new clothes,
a week at a spa.
Money's not gonna fix this, Sidney.
She's sobbing her eyes out,
and I don't know what to do.
If only she had some friends.
Listen, Jo, she's devastated.
But it's her senior year,
and I want it to be perfect.
I mean, just Iook at that face.
She needs you. We need you.
And we're willing to pay.
- What?
- For you to be her friend.
Two, three, 4,000 to get you started.
- You're crazy.
- Wait, please.
I have more money
than I know what to do with.
And if I can't buy my daughter's
happiness, then what is it worth?
- You can't buy friends.
- OK. Don't call it a friend.
Call it her bodyguard,
guardian angel, fairy god-sister.
There must be something you want.
Some dream I can help come true.
A new car? A trip to Europe? College?
College.
Today's economy,
it's rough out there.
You need money for college,
and it isn't cheap.
- Let me pay for yours.
- Forget it.
Look, just try it out
for 30 days, risk-free.
I guarantee you'II be happy you did.
And just for trying, I'II buy your
college books for freshman year,
which are yours to keep, no questions
asked, as my Iittle gift to you.
Sidney was pretty convincing,
and I should have realized why.
He was the king of infomercials.
He could sell anything
from meat juicers to cat toilets
to my college tuition.
I knew it was crazy.
But Abby'd have a good senior year,
and I'd get my dream
of Carnegie Mellon University.
I figured, who would it hurt?
Four hundred people already viewed it.
That computer geek
Iived up to his promise.
Which is Iike a rarity in Iife,
that anyone comes through.
Especially fathers and doctors.
Not my Iegs, Chastity, my face.
Getting all red and splotchy.
- What?
- You're never gonna believe this.
What do you mean?
Someone posted a Iink
on your page to another video.
Look, it's that new girl, Jo.
She totally bailed Abby out.
Who is this girl?
Some bad-ass biker chick?
There's tons of comments.
- AII the guys think she's hot.
- OK.
So she's hot.
She's well-connected.
I mean, she's pretty much one of us.
So we'II just need
to make it very clear that,
from here on out, she's only
nice to the people that we Iike.
Agreed?
Mandi, can I get a quote
from you on the school play,
or the Iacrosse team, or just,
Iike, anything, really?
God, I am not up for
the paparazzi this morning.
It's so embarrassing
how much they Iove me.
I'm Mandi, with an "i."
And you're Jo, right?
- That's me.
- So, Jo, since you're new here,
I thought we'd help you out,
Iet you know who to hang out with.
- Us.
- The real welcoming committee
had arrived.
- And who not to.
- Did I say "welcoming?"
Wow. Thanks.
But I think I can
figure that out on my own.
Really? Well, I... I haven't
been impressed so far.
- Excuse me?
- But I'm a benevolent dictator,
so why don't we discuss over a non-fat,
no-sugar raspberry Frappuccino
- at the coffee joint?
- We only use Skinny-and-Sweet.
It's Iike cellulite in a straw,
but without the cellulite.
As scientifically interesting
as that sounds,
I'II have to pass.
Oh, it wasn't a question.
Oops. Guess I answered anyway.
Oh, my God. Hi.
I'm Quinn Shinn,
editor of the school paper.
That was unbelievable.
Nobody turns Mandi down.
- I just didn't feel Iike going.
- You're kidding, right?
No, the PIastics are goddesses.
And Mandi can, Iike, ruin you.
I wrote one article on school uniforms,
and she put strawberries in my yogurt.
How horrible for you?
Oh, I had an allergic reaction
to the strawberries,
swelled up Iike a big Arothron hispidus.
That's a blowfish.
Be careful, Jo.
Thanks, but I'm not that worried.
Hey, what's up?
So you dropped your notebook,
but I gave it back to your dad.
Pretty cool sketches.
Are you an artist?
Look, it's cool, I get it.
You don't have to...
- Get what?
- Principal Duvall sent you.
But Iook, the welcoming committee
was just a stupid idea.
I mean, really, you're the first
new student here in ages,
so you're off the hook.
- Thanks for the ride, though.
- Sure.
Registration for AP test has closed.
Now...
Now, we all know the
tradition here at North Shore
is to use the Homecoming Dance...
...to fund-raise for charity, OK?
'Cause otherwise you all
would just think
the world revolves around
you and football.
And it doesn't, OK?
I told you not to walk in front of...
Babe, I already chose your tuxedo,
rented the Iimo and...
Oh, red rose corsage,
not a frigging carnation.
Mandi, you are so
winning Homecoming Queen.
Totally winning.
...the school nurse will
be heading up the blood drive,
- so sign up for that now.
- PIease.
Like I'm Ietting that petri dish
of a clinic stick a needle in me.
I know!
And no matter what I said...
Hey, do you know
where I could catch the bus?
I think it just Ieft.
CIassic. This is why I really
need to fix my bike today.
Do you know any good auto parts
shops? I've gotta get a new spark plug.
Well, I... I think there's Pete's Auto
right next to the coffee joint.
I could give you a ride if you want.
I mean, I really owe you one anyway.
Sweet, thanks.
Oh, Iook, it's Jo! Hey, Jo!
Hey.
She's with Abby Hanover!
Hi.
Thanks for the Iift.
Do you wanna come inside?
I'II probably break something,
but... but sure.
- Who's that?
- My mom.
She's really pretty.
Yeah. She was.
What are these?
That's the Sydney Harbor Bridge
and a skyscraper I've been designing.
Kind of hard to tell,
I'm a crappy artist.
- I could help, if you want.
- Really?
You're pretty talented,
based on those sketches I saw.
You should see my paintings sometime.
Actually, you don't have to.
It's a bad idea...
No, that'd be really cool.
OK. You ready to
go change a spark plug?
My gosh, is that a friend?
Maybe you were right.
Girls aren't so bad after all.
Hello, Mr. Winkle!
Are those illegal parts? I'II bet you're
running a chop shop over there.
Well, I've installed security cameras,
and I'II be watching you.
You hear?
Goodbye, Mr. Winkle.
Jo Mitchell, you have
no idea how scary I can be.
Hey, Abby! How are you?
- I can't get up!
- Are you all right?
I don't know.
Pull me as hard as you can.
OK.
- Now what?
- Help me up.
OK.
Seriously? Who would ever
think of something so childish,
yet brilliant,
except a bunch of mean girls?
- Hey, Mandi.
- Hi.
Now, what do we do?
I would've strangled her right there...
Meet me in the bathroom.
Bring any spare clothes
that you have.
...if I could get off the Vespa.
Wow. Bad-ass!
So cool.
Coming through!
Sorry!
Are you OK?
This is all my fault.
You should've never hung out with me.
Mandi's gonna make
your Iife a Iiving hell.
Abby, you can't Iive in fear.
- Did you find me something to wear?
- Just my art smock.
That'II have to do. Thanks.
- Do you need my help?
- I think I got it.
- How do I Iook?
- Great.
- Hey, nice Iook.
- It's not funny.
- I'm not joking, it's hot.
- Thanks.
No unauthorized videos
of my students on the monitor.
By the next day, I hoped
everyone would have forgotten
about my wardrobe malfunction,
but it wasn 't what I was expecting.
Apparently, holding your head high after
a Mandi vendetta earned you points.
Oh, my gosh, this is so cool!
You started it.
It was your smock.
- It's cute.
- It's pathetic.
I could smear paint all over my Versace,
but I have taste, style.
They're just sheep.
Chastity, make out with the
student intern in the front office,
get Jo's file. Hope, stalk her.
I want to know everything.
Wow, this is amazing.
You shouldn't waste your talent
on sketches for me.
Oh, I don't mind.
AII right,
what should we work on first?
Well, I Iove
building cars with my dad,
but I wanna... I wanna design something
more Iasting and permanent.
I.M. Pei, for instance,
designs the most amazing buildings,
- and Joseph Strauss...
- Built the Golden Gate Bridge.
Yeah, my family went there Iast summer.
It's pretty awesome.
Well, then, why don't
we start with San Francisco?
AII right, cool.
Oh, yeah, and if my dad asks,
this is a school project.
He thinks artists are,
Iike, homeless hippies, so...
- I don't wanna get you in trouble.
- Oh, no, no, no!
I need some more samples
for my portfolio anyway.
I'm applying to NYU Design School.
Or, as I tell my dad, Columbia Pre-Med.
These are...
They're incredible.
Thanks.
Tyler, Iate. Sit.
While I was breaking
all my rules with Abby,
I figured I could enjoy
a few other things
North Shore had to offer.
He could walk in late
any day he wanted.
Hey.
Oh. Hi.
OK, everybody, big day today.
A&M beat Arkansas
in overtime on Saturday. Yes!
Oh, and today, we commence
the great egg-drop project.
Young Iady,
that is where we drop a boiled egg
in a parachute without it breaking.
You'II be judged on style and structure.
And if you'd just Iike to opt out and
bring in deviled eggs for the class...
Tempting, but doesn't
the top student have the option
to submit for the Thompson-Bird
Architecture scholarship?
Yes. Not that any of you slackers care.
EIigibility for the scholarship
requires a 4.5 GPA,
at Ieast a 2300 on your SATs,
math and verbal,
top scores on all class projects
and a glowing Ietter
of recommendation from me.
And as you know, I don't glow often.
Let me guess,
we're gonna have to win.
Pretty much.
Well, then maybe we should
get in some extra study time.
Go to a movie or something?
- Tomorrow night?
- Sounds good.
- Hey!
- Guess what?
Tyler just asked me out.
It was amazing,
having a friend to confide in.
Jo, you can't.
It'd be a big mistake.
- Or not.
- You don't know who he...
He's my shop partner,
and I've seen him without a shirt.
Good enough for me.
Oh, my God!
Tyler is a total traitor.
- She's so crossed the Iine.
- Who has?
That bitch, Jo.
God, Nick, keep up.
And give me your car keys.
Don't.
- Where you goin'?
- Nowhere. Out with a friend.
Your friend's got a nice car.
And your friend is also a guy.
Goodbye, Dad.
I'II be home by ten.
- Nice wheels.
- Nick insisted I borrow his car.
I figured you take cars pretty
seriously, so I took him up on it.
Does that mean I get to drive?
Yes.
- Oh, thank you.
- After you.
Thank you very much.
I gotta admit, Jo,
you did pretty good.
No screaming on the roller coaster,
a solid stomach on the Gravitron.
And kicking your ass at bumper cars.
I Iike a guy who can take the heat.
Oh, really?
How many guys are you Iooking at?
Come on, Jo.
Four schools in three years?
How many? Six boyfriends? A dozen?
None.
But I'm sort of breaking
all my rules this year.
You've never had a boyfriend?
Shut up! So I never
played Spin the Bottle,
I never suffered through
Seven Minutes in Heaven.
Never...
...kissed anyone?
...beginning of the blood drive
this month, so sign up now.
That's it from me,
I'm your principal.
You know me.
I'll see you in the hallways.
Remember, stay left, or right...
- How'd it go?
- Perfect,
- you had nothing to worry about.
- Hello, North Shore,
Iast night, our new girl, Jo Mitchell
had a first date, and more.
How many?
Six boyfriends? A dozen?
None. But I'm sort of breaking
all my rules this year.
Oh, God. This isn't happening.
- You've never had a boyfriend?
- Shut up!
So I never played Spin the Bottle,
I never suffered through
Seven Minutes in Heaven, l...
Never... kissed anyone?
That's right,
Jo Mitchell is a virgin!
She's a virgin?
Young Iove. Isn't it pathetic?
Jo, I'm so sorry.
It's gonna be OK, I promise.
Emergency slumber party?
Thanks, Abby.
You're the best. I'm...
I'm sorry I didn't Iisten.
And Abby was the best.
Which only made me feel worse.
I was totally lying to her,
the one person who
kept having my back.
Maybe I deserved Mandi's torture.
Jo.
I'm sorry, I didn't...
How could you set me up Iike that?
I hope you and Mandi
are very happy together.
I can't believe him!
Jo, how are you holding up?
EIIiot wanted to do a story
on virgins in high school,
but I totally nixed it.
- Hi. You're Jo, right?
- Yeah.
Guys. Last year, all three of us fell
for this jerk of a senior.
We put out, and he
dumped us the next day.
We should have waited,
Iike you, for the right guy.
- Yeah, no kidding.
- Yeah.
Tyler wasn't exactly the right guy.
He was just another one
of Mandi's puppets.
Yeah, well, we just wanted to tell you
we think you're awesome.
- Yeah, definitely.
- See you around.
Thanks!
Why does he even put up with her?
Why wouldn't he?
You can't choose your siblings.
- What? Siblings?
- I thought he told you.
- Tyler is Mandi's stepbrother.
- I'm such an idiot!
- I thought they were just hooking up.
- Oh, gross!
But now you see why it was so easy
for Mandi to bug your date.
No way, not Tyler.
It had to have been someone else.
Oh, my God. We were in Nick's car.
- You dick! You bugged the car?
- Come on, man.
- I thought it was fun.
- Don't you turn your back on me, Nick!
What are you gonna do, Tyler?
You're gonna hit your best friend?
- Break it up! That's enough!
- Can't you take a joke?
- I'm gonna mess you up!
- You don't scare me!
You don't scare me.
- Punch me! Bring it on!
- Come on. Are you afraid?
Well, that was fun.
Hope, what else do we have
on the Virgin Queen?
Well, a 4.5 GPA, high SATs,
three AP classes and...
Oh, she's applying for
architecture scholarships.
Her dream...
...Carnegie Mellon University.
OK, so one more time.
She's never made out
with anyone... ever?
Or this week?
Hey, not so fast.
Today's your Iucky day.
We got a sale going on.
- Twenty percent off all grade changes.
- Look, just Ieave me alone.
Look, I'm just trying
to say I'm sorry, OK?
I was clouded by Iust.
And if it helps, I got kicked off
the Web team for abuse of power.
You're still a jerk.
At Ieast your shirt's funny.
Nice fight in the cafeteria.
I could smell the testosterone.
Does this mean I'm forgiven?
Well, it's not your fault that
your dad married Mandi's mom.
But next time, warn me
that you Iive with Mandi
in a totally platonic way.
Wait, you thought...
Dude, gross!
But despite Quinn and Abby's urging,
I refused to stoop to Mandi's level.
Besides, I was having so much fun with
my new friends, I almost didn 't care.
You coming?
Who are those girls?
Do they even go to our school?
I was just Iooking
at the Homecoming website,
and everybody's talking
about the hot new couple.
Nick and I are the
hottest couple in school.
Not anymore.
So this was it, the first challenge.
Success was worth 100 points,
and I needed every point I could get
to qualify for the scholarship.
Boiled egg in the structure.
No breaks, no bruises.
- Ready?
- Ready.
And... drop!
OK, who switched the eggs?
Who? No one?
Oh, well.
Who's next?
Mandi had found a new part
of my life to destroy:
My chance
at the Thompson-Bird scholarship.
Our next experiment
didn't go much better.
- You ready?
- Yeah.
Hope called her doctor on speed dial
and switched our CO2 for laughing gas.
Hey, guys, I'm here.
Seriously, Chastity?
I said "incognito,"
not "Iike a flamingo."
Go.
There's poo on my Jimmy Choo!
Shake it off, shake it off.
Go, slow.
Faster!
I can't go any further.
What is the matter with you?
Funnel.
The funnel!
- Oh, there you go.
- Right. Secret weapon?
Hope, a fanny pack, never OK.
Coffee?
Perfect.
Dad, what's going on?
It's ruined.
- The whole motor is gummed up.
- What? What happened?
- It was running perfectly yesterday.
- I don't know.
I don't know, maybe
it's the fuel, a faulty part.
It doesn't matter because Jimmy and the
boys are expecting a trial run tomorrow.
Dad...
We can figure something out.
There's not enough time,
and there's not enough money.
Maybe I can call in a favor,
beg for an extension, tell 'em
it was some kind of fluke accident,
I don't know.
But this was definitely no accident.
Mandi had gone too far.
Mess with me, fine.
Mess with my family...
...you're dead.
It was as if all my girl hormones
had kicked into overdrive,
and I was out for blood.
The Plastics were going down,
and I didn 't care
what rules I had to break...
...to make her pay.
- What happened?
- Mandi happened.
Is that all you got?
Going after my dad,
you spoiled, narcissistic bitch!
That's his job,
not some play-toy for you!
But it was so much fun.
The way I figure it, no job,
no income, no house, no JoJo.
Right?
I don't run away that easy.
Get over yourself, man-hands.
You're just a passing phase.
I'm here for the Iong run.
Oh, yeah?
Are you sure about that?
Coffee?
Abby, you don't need
to do this with me.
Of course I do.
It's what best friends are for.
There's something I need to tell you.
This was it, the moment to tell Abby
I'd made a deal with her father
that I totally regretted,
and beg for forgiveness.
But looking at her,
the idea of losing my first
best friend in a long time,
I couldn 't do it.
So, what do you need to tell me?
I...
You should know,
my Iast BFF relationship
crashed and burned.
She became snobby and judgmental
and used guys as pawns of warfare,
which is saying a Iot,
considering it was fourth grade.
Geez! Sounds Iike a mini-Mandi.
But don't worry,
we're nothing Iike that.
Success! OK.
I grabbed all the archived
papers with the PIastics,
which was pretty much every issue.
- If there's dirt, we'II find it.
- What's this?
Mandi's Annual Birthday Bash.
- Everybody wants to be invited.
- But, of course, they aren't.
Mandi never allows anybody
to throw a party when she does.
Is that so?
I am so excited. Tonight
is gonna be the perfect night.
It should be.
It's costing my dad enough.
Our dad, Tyler.
You know, most people
would die to be my brother.
That's only because they don't
know what you're really Iike.
You mean perfect,
awesome and popular?
More Iike conceited,
vain and vindictive.
You're only happy when
making others miserable.
But high school will end, Mandi.
And then what will you have Ieft?
This is a bad idea.
Nobody's gonna show up.
Of course they will. Who wants
to go to some expensive party
with cocktail dresses and raw fish,
where Mandi talks
about how awesome she is?
People who think Mandi's awesome.
No one actually thinks that.
Trust me, it's just years
of social brainwashing.
Wait, why aren't you guys ready?
People will arrive any minute!
We are ready.
No! No!
- Abby, no! Honey!
- Mom...
I bought you all those
party clothes for a reason.
Now you don't have an excuse,
because you're actually the host.
Come on. Come on!
Come on, Iet's go.
Come on, sugar, Iet's go!
Come on! My Iittle girl
is throwing a party!
- Seriously?
- Mom, stop.
Now, Jo, you know you're not gonna
have this Iittle body forever.
- Mom!
- I'm just saying
she oughta show it off.
- Mom, just stop!
- In something Iike this.
- IIene Hanover!
- Definitely.
I knew it!
- Invitation, miss?
- I don't have one.
Oh, no, I'm sorry, it's invite only.
OK.
Thank you, thank you all so much
for coming to my birth...
Where... Where is everyone?
Wow! I can't believe this!
I can't believe this
is my house, my party!
Believe it.
- You both Iook amazing.
- Thanks, you're not so bad yourself.
This party rocks!
Only where's the food?
Oh, I heard Mandi's
serving nigiri sushi.
- That's sushi.
- Pizza's coming.
Pizza.
This is a disaster of epic proportions!
I mean, don't panic, Mandi.
Maybe they just got the wrong address.
Or...
What if Jo and Abby
are throwing a party tonight?
Stating the obvious much, moron?
- What are we gonna do?
- Not go over there?
He's inside!
Hope, do you still have that
vile medicine from your doctor?
You mean the ipecac? Of course.
EIIiot hasn't stopped
staring at you all night.
Really? But he's EIIiot.
Thanks.
Oh, thank God, I'm starving.
Do these smell funny?
Maybe the delivery guy
mixed up our order.
- Here you go. Thanks.
- No problem. GIad to help.
- Wait! Don't eat that.
- What? Why?
Because I'm not the only one
who paid the pizza guy.
OK, it's done.
Their party's about to
get extremely unsanitary.
- What'd I miss?
- Oh, nothing, honey bear.
We just have a party to attend.
Oh, and I wouldn't wear
nice shoes if I were you.
Perhaps galoshes.
- Happy not your birthday!
- Really, Chastity?
Joke.
Wait, nobody's puking.
Oh, thank God!
I mean, damn it!
Where's the pizza?
What the hell happened?
God, Nick, go do something!
Look at those two.
God, what does Tyler even see in her?
Get over it already, Chastity.
My brother is off-Iimits.
Like what you say matters, Mandi.
You can't even throw a birthday party.
Shut up!
I'II be right back.
Man, the food's all gone.
Oh, Nick, I saved you a piece of pizza.
One second.
Why is Mandi here?
Well, I think she was hoping
to gloat over a party disaster,
which, if I can count on Nick,
won't take Iong.
- Bon apptit.
- Thank you.
Mandi, can I see your invitation?
Because I'm pretty sure I Ieft
"Vapid Bitch" off the Iist.
You think you're so clever,
but you're not.
You're just using my brother
to get back at me,
and I'm gonna make sure
that he knows that.
Not everything is about you, Mandi.
Especially not my Iove Iife.
At Ieast I have one. Where's your
boyfriend on your birthday?
You wanna see a Iove Iife,
Iittle virgin?
I'II show you.
Oh, my God, did he just...?
Oh, God, move! Move!
Yep. Sorry about your patio.
Oh, totally worth it!
And we didn'tjust stop there.
Abby, Quinn and I set out
to disband the Plastics
once and for all.
We called ourselves the Anti-Plastics.
Not very original,
but it got the point across.
Wow.
Wow.
Wow.
We gathered our forces.
But as the Anti-Plastics grew,
Mandi started recruiting
for her side.
It was time to break apart
the founding members,
starting with Chastity.
So we simply tipped Principal Duvall.
Oh, Principal Duvall! A note.
Her weakness: a raging libido.
OK, where's the back stairwell that's
a herpes infection waiting to happen?
- C-wing.
- Thank you.
EIIiot, Iet me borrow that.
The camera! Get to class.
For the Iove of all that's sanitary,
get outta there, people!
You wait right here, young Iady.
You officially earned detention
for a week. Unbelievable.
No, no, no! In solitary confinement.
Let's go, move it.
- Principal Duvall.
- What?
- The announcements!
- Oh, yeah, Iet's go!
- And action!
- Good afternoon, everybody.
We have a winner for the
Homecoming Dance Charity.
The winner is the Humane Society.
So...
Where did you come from?
Get outta here!
I'm talking about the importance
of neutering here, people! Cut it off.
- How could you do that?
- Do what?
Rat out all of my make-out spots!
You're the only one I told, Mandi.
Now, who's gonna do my homework
and tell me I'm special?
- Sorry.
- Hey!
For Hope, who'd been a hypochondriac
since contracting mono
from a water fountain,
we said goodbye to Mandi's
"no bodily fluids" rule.
Oh, my God, oh, my God!
- I'm gonna contract E. coli.
- Even worse, you have a zit.
I knew ugliness was contagious!
Hope booked an emergency healing
massage and seaweed facial.
Unfortunately, there
was a mix-up at the spa...
...and Hope ended up resembling
the Wicked Witch of the West.
It still hadn 't faded
after an entire weekend.
Mandi! What is wrong with you?
You didn't pick me up.
I had to ride my Schwinn.
I don't pick up ogres.
And green, definitely not your color.
Wha...?
Why hasn't it washed away?
I added some
Iong-Iasting henna ink.
Don't you think that's a bit much?
Come on, she deserved it.
Peace out!
Nobody'II ever see that.
With Chastity and Hope down,
there was only one Plastic left.
Cupcakes! Cupcakes!
Red velvet,
or perhaps devil's food cake?
- Thank you!
- Traitor!
- You don't own me, Mandi.
- Oh, yeah?
I don't Iike you right now!
You totally Iost my vote.
Yummy frosting, though.
Nice job, Quinn. You truly are
an amazing investigative reporter.
I've been obsess... I mean,
watching them for years.
Just needed to dig a Iittle deeper.
Hi!
Hey.
- Hey!
- Hey!
- Hi.
- Hey!
- Hello, girls.
- Hey!
- I already got my dress.
- Hey.
- Oh, hey, Abby.
- OK, Jo, this year the music
better not suck at the dance.
You have sway with the DJ, right?
- Of course. What are your requests?
- OK...
- We could get that guy who...
- You know, if she keeps
inviting everybody to join our group,
there won't be any room Ieft.
At Ieast Mandi understood
the importance of exclusivity.
Someone has to be the proletariat.
That's Iower class.
Hey, kid. Lend me a hand.
Jimmy gave me an extension
on delivering the engine.
Sorry, Dad. I've got shopping with Quinn
and a movie with Tyler,
and I still have
to make my campaign buttons.
Busy, busy!
Busy, busy.
- Hey, Jo.
- Hi.
- Hey!
- Hi.
- Hey, what's up?
- Hey.
- What's up?
- Hi.
I wonder how much sugar is in this.
- You did not just ask that.
- What?
Jo, you ate, Iike,
two funnel cakes, a hot dog
and a bag of kettle corn
on our first date.
And you didn't wear
these crazy studded boots.
Come on. You're kidding me, right?
- Using me to make Chastity jealous?
- Look, I was just...
Starting to act a hell
of a Iot Iike Mandi,
which is not the kind of
girl I want to be dating.
Hey, I am nothing Iike Mandi.
Oh, really? Running for queen,
humiliating people,
using their secrets against them,
dressing Iike you're
on the cover of Rolling Stone,
which, OK, it's kinda
hot sometimes, but not the part
where you suddenly care about
what everyone else thinks.
Jo...
What happened to that girl
I met in shop class?
And when I got home, there it was,
waiting for me:
my future.
How had I almost forgotten?
The fat Ietter!
- It's good news, right?
- The best.
Jo. Look, honey,
I feel Iousy about your tuition fund.
But, honey, that doesn't mean
that you shouldn't be excited.
I mean, CMU, that's... that's big stuff!
And if I can just get
this engine finished,
or... what about that
architectural scholarship?
The scholarship.
But somehow, all this campaigning
and preening and plotting
had gotten in the way.
I didn't even know what my grade was
in shop class anymore.
Oh, hey, I almost forgot.
Abby's dad dropped this off for ya.
So does she know where
she's goin' to college yet?
Abby wants art school, but
her dad's more of a pre-med guy.
Well, just make sure that she knows
that to... to win the race...
You gotta be in the race.
But what if I wanted out?
What if I wanted to forfeit the race
because I didn't deserve to win?
Got something that's real revolutionary.
It's gonna revolutionize
your gardening experience.
Hey, Mr. Hanover.
Abby's not home
from the movie yet, is she?
No, thought you'd be with 'em.
- But glad you're here.
- Listen, Mr. Hanover, I...
- I brought back the money.
- Jo, what, are you crazy?
The money's for you, every damn penny.
You've earned it.
Hiring you to be her friend was
the best money we've ever spent.
PIease. Mr. Hanover, I can't.
Jo, I'm sending it right back to you.
I'd give a bonus, if I gave them.
Which I don't.
Is it true? Did my dad pay you
to be friends with me?
Quinn finally got her big story.
She quoted Mandi as a witness.
Why would Quinn do this?
How could you?
- I was gonna tell Abby everything.
- Face it, Jo.
The PIastics are the originals,
and they don't have to pay
anyone to be their friend.
No! You just sold out
your friends for free!
Oh, what, Iike you sold me out?
God, I trusted you.
You know what?
You go to hell, Jo Mitchell.
I wish I never even met you.
Just to see their faces.
You were so good, Mandi.
I totally voted for you.
- Too bad this didn't come out earlier.
- Why?
Well, from what I hear, Jo is
a shoo-in for Homecoming Queen.
It's too Iate for people
to change their votes.
- That is, if she's eligible.
- EIigibility is based on matriculation.
So she'd have to be
expelled or something.
Wouldn't that be a tragedy?
This is gonna be
the best senior prank ever.
The best.
OK, so tell me again
why we don't keep the money?
- That's a Iot of money.
- Then there's no dance,
and if there's no dance,
I'm not the queen.
I don't know.
Money can't do this.
As many of you know,
we had a robbery last night.
Now, the evidence strongly suggests
that the thief
was a student, because of his wanton
disregard for school property.
This student, or students,
clearly degenerates,
stole the money that was
intended for helpless animals.
Now, unless the money is returned,
I have no choice but
to cancel the Homecoming Dance.
This is your principal,
signing off for today,
reminding you to stay left
or right, not center.
Miss Mitchell, I received an anonymous
tip today that you stole the money.
That's a Iie. I would never do that.
Well, apparently you did.
We had a policeman go
to your shed this afternoon.
And I'm afraid we
found the stolen money.
- How did that get there?
- I didn't steal it, I swear!
Somebody must've put it there, and...
I would bet anything it was Mandi.
Well, now, Miss Weatherly
may be the spawn of Satan,
but unless you have proof,
there's nothing I can do
except expel you.
It officially couldn't get much worse.
I'm also sorry to say that I'm gonna
have to report this to Carnegie Mellon,
and they very well may
rescind your admission.
Miss Mitchell, where are you going?
Come back here!
- Did you hear about Jo?
- I can't believe it.
- What a fake.
- I knew it.
I knew it all along,
and I tried to warn people.
I tried to protect you all from her.
- Mandi, you are Iike a saint.
- Yeah, a total saint.
- Oh, yeah, a real martyr.
- You mean a real bitch!
Wait. As much as we all might Iike that,
I can't Iet it happen.
This is crazy! Shouldn't she be
Iocked up in juvie or something?
Girls, why don't we
settle this Iike Iadies...
Screw being Iadies,
and screw being girls!
I'm sick of the mind games
and the backstabbing and the set-ups.
I know you framed me, Mandi.
So we're gonna settle this Iike men,
on the battlefield.
- Oh, please.
- That's right.
I challenge you...
...to a football game,
- Powder Puff style.
- No way.
I... I don't do sports.
You scared?
Can't take the heat, Mandi?
I thought you were
the best at everything.
I thought people trembled
in the presence of the PIastics.
You wanna win?
The only way you're gonna
become queen is by default.
Fine, you're on.
But be prepared to Iose.
You know, you and your team of one.
I realized a little too late
that I no longer had any friends.
But if I had to take on
all the Plastics by myself, I would.
AII right, Iet's get to class,
everybody. Hang out in the hallway.
- Do you really think she did it?
- I don't know anymore.
Certainly not about Jo.
Hey, Mr. Hanover.
This was in our mailbox. It's for you.
- Listen, you're Jo's boyfriend, right?
- Ex-boyfriend.
Awkward.
Thing is, I've got something for Jo.
It's the money, actually.
Would you give it to her? A deal's a
deal. It's not her fault Abby found out.
- She gave the money back to you?
- Of course.
I was expecting it, really.
I knew she'd Iove Abby
once she got to know her.
I just needed to make that happen.
So remember, you can't wear
red or pink to the dance.
Those are my colors.
And I'm wearing my hair up,
'cause it's best for the crown,
so wear yours down.
- Quinn, are you Iistening?
- Yes, absolutely. Hair down.
Hey, Abby.
- Look, just don't.
- But...
You know, Jo may have Iied to me,
but at Ieast she taught me one thing.
Stand up for myself.
So... get Iost, Quinn.
Fine, hate me.
But you should know I don't think
Jo stole the money.
I think Mandi did.
- How do you know?
- Because I sort of gave her
the idea to get Jo expelled.
AIso, Jo spent an awful Iot of time
putting together
and sending out
college applications for you.
She even put together your portfolio.
I helped her make about a dozen
of those with journalism equipment.
I hope you get into art school, Abby.
I really do.
So Mr. Hanover just called.
Apparently, one of his distributors
is sending new parts for the engine.
That's great, right?
We can finish the car in time
for Jimmy and the new racer.
So, you... You heard from Abby?
I've texted, called.
I tried her NorthShoreCentric page.
No Iuck.
That girl really hates my guts.
But I can't blame her.
I'm not sure why you don't hate me.
Listen, kid, I'm not proud
of what you did to Abby,
but I know that you care about her.
- And you're certainly not a thief.
- At Ieast someone believes me.
Oh, I don't think it's just me.
- Am I seeing things?
- We haven't forgiven you yet.
Not even close.
But we can't Iet you
take the fall for Mandi.
- That's right, we've got your back.
- Mandi's goin' down.
I knew it.
I knew Mandi set me up, and...
...you guys came to rescue me.
I don't deserve you.
Oh, my God, are you crying?
No, I never cry.
AII right, now come on,
we have a game to prepare for.
And you're right,
Mandi needs her ass kicked.
And we have an idea
to prove your innocence.
- Do you think you can do it?
- Hack into their security system?
Not easy, but not impossible. I just
have to detect their wireless signal,
then hack into their computer
and find their security account.
Wait, got it.
They named their Wi-Fi
"AIwaysWatching?"
What's their pass code, "666?"
It'II take a few days,
but if Mandi planted the evidence,
I'II find the footage.
But...
I want something in return.
I knew it. I knew
he wouldn't do it for free.
What do you want, EIIiot?
A date to the dance, with Abby.
Hey, good Iuck at the game.
I'II be rooting for you.
Even got my own side biz going on.
Odds are 30 to one in Mandi's favor.
- What? Why?
- You haven't heard?
Mandi had managed to recruit
the captain of the rugby team...
...a fifth-year senior
who felt no pain...
...and the three-time Junior Division
Karate Champion onto her team.
But we weren 't backing down.
And neither was Mandi.
She wasn 't going to pull any punches.
It was time to end this
once and for all.
- Got it?
- Yes, sir!
Good!
Hi, baby! Oh, you Iook so cute.
- Our Iittle athlete.
- Mom, Dad, come on.
You know you can't be in here.
Just go.
You're right, you're right.
We need to find a seat.
- The bleachers are already filling up.
- Yay! Yay!
- I'm gonna vomit.
- It's gonna be OK, I promise.
- What's the worst that could happen?
- We Iose?
Is everybody decent in here?
I don't want a sexual
harassment Iawsuit... again.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, we're good.
Principal Duvall, what are you
doing here on a weekend?
Well, I've tried to turn
a blind eye to this game,
but the fact that you made
the challenge in my presence,
and you've plastered the school
with posters made that kinda hard.
Thought you guys would wimp out.
But I guess now
I will have to intervene.
Mainly because Mandi's team
wants to file a Iawsuit.
- What are you talking about?
- Jo, due to your expulsion,
you are not allowed on school grounds.
Thus, you cannot play the game.
- Damn it! Mandi was counting on this.
- I know.
- You know?
- Yep, which is why
I Iooked into this issue days ago.
You know, technically,
the football field is public property
since it's on park Iand.
You know, the school
only rents it for games.
So all we needed was a permit,
which I have right here.
Well, great then.
I guess you are just not
allowed in the Iocker room.
See ya!
Well, I guess my job here is done.
Let's go, team!
Kill! Maim! Dismember.
Yeah!
Yeah!
Go, Abby!
The big day was upon us,
and we were going
to take the Plastics down.
Come on, girls!
We were ready for anything.
Didn't expect to see me here?
I'm still gonna kick your team's ass.
OK, girls, Iisten up.
Football is a religion,
and you are now in church.
Do not disgrace this field.
We'II play by playground rules.
Fumbles that hit the ground
are Iive balls. Four downs and out.
No punts, no extra points
and a touchdown is seven points.
Get it? Got it?
Good.
We will flip a coin to see
who receives the ball.
- Pink Team, you call it.
- Heads.
- Heads it is.
- We'II receive.
AII right, shake hands.
OK, then.
Run, moron, run!
Take it, take it.
- There's no nunchakus in football!
- Man.
Ball, now!
Touchdown!
So Iisten. My dad always
says to win the race,
you've got to be in the race.
So think of the worst thing
the PIastics have done to you,
and knock them down.
If they're gonna play
full contact, so are we.
Fumble-rooski on two.
- Break!
- Break.
Yeah!
Yeah, Jo!
Good job, honey!
What... What's goin' on?
What... What are you doing?
- Yes!
- Touchdown!
That's not fair! She can't do that.
Can she do that?
- You girls can really play. Who knew?
- Thank you.
Damn it, we're tied.
I swear, if you Iet that psycho Jo near
me, I will end your social Iives.
- Time for D and D.
- Dirty dancing?
Yeah, Chastity, dirty dancing.
No! Down and dirty, OK?
Down and dirty.
Let's get 'em. Go!
OK, they were big, they were bad.
We were dead.
I can't see. I can't see!
- Nothing? How bad's your vision?
- I'm Iegally blind!
Number one!
Just freshening up.
Smells Iike Iavender
and ocean breeze, doesn't it?
- Oh, come on!
- Come on, girls.
Enough of this, Iet's play football!
AII right. My muscles are mush,
my Iungs are about to burst
and just Iook at us.
I agree, we're totally not gonna Iose.
- Gesundheit.
- Cover your mouth.
- Really? 'Cause they have the ball.
- We have to take a stand.
We can't Iet them score.
- Gesundheit.
- Dude, cover your mouth!
- OK, I got it.
- Jo! I did it!
- Look, he did it!
- He did what?
Yeah. Yeah.
Is that yours?
Cool, Mandi is goin' down!
I told you.
Let me see that, Iet me see that.
- Ling... Come on!
- What?
What are you waitin' for?
This is football! Come on!
Makin' everyone else do
your dirty work, Mandi?
You're still gonna Iose.
Give me the ball.
Now!
Is that Nick Zimmer?
One, two, three... hut.
No, no, no! No, no!
Come on, man, it was her idea.
Right there, Mandi! Number one!
You're not number one anymore.
But I Iove you, baby. It wasn't my idea.
Why are you handcuffing me?
- Get off me!
- I'd Iove to.
Let me go! Get off me!
That's not me!
It sure Iooks Iike it's you,
Miss Weatherly.
Are you crazy?
Do you know who I am?
I am Mandi Weatherly!
My mother will sue you!
How dare you touch me!
She'II sue all of you!
Let me out of here!
I'II have you fired!
I'm so sorry for
the misunderstanding, Jo.
Consider yourself
officially un-expelled.
And I'II make some calls
and sort things out college-wise.
Yeah!
I figured at this point,
I might as well go for the whole
high school experience.
AII right,
quiet down, everybody. Quiet.
Stop your dancing, stop your fun.
Stop it right now.
Quiet down.
Quieter. Good.
Well, you should all
be very happy to know
that we raised $6,800 for
the Humane Society, huh?
AII right, forget it.
I know the announcement
you guys really care about,
so Iet's get to it.
The Homecoming King is...
-...EIIiot Gold?
- My God, it's you!
- EIIiot Gold.
- Go!
Wow. EIIiot really is going to rig
the presidential election
someday, isn't he?
Yep. Just as soon as
the voting goes hi-tech.
Congratulations.
- Thank you.
- Sure.
And your Homecoming Queen...
...Abby Hanover.
Oh, my God!
I've never won anything!
Go! You won, go!
Yeah, Abby!
You won! That's so awesome!
- That crown is mine! It's mine!
- Get 'em out of here!
No, don't reach for me!
Get out of here! You're not
allowed on school grounds!
- Get off me!
- Oh, I'm sorry.
A Iittle to the right.
- Give me that.
- I'm Iegally blind.
There.
Here's your Homecoming King
and Queen, Iet's give it up.
Make some room, Iet them
have their first dance.
You guys have a good time.
No dirty dancing, I'm watching.
I have a feeling EIIiot wasn't
the one who rigged this vote.
Well, we both know
crowns aren't my thing.
So you dropped out of the race?
Sometimes, it's not
about winning the race,
it's just about being a part of it.
Besides...
...I have enough already.
OK, well, it's not like
we all lived happily ever after.
Mandi and Nick did get
community service instead ofjail.
And her mom donated
a new library to North Shore,
so Principal Duvall let her graduate.
But she never regained her status.
Quinn took over Mandi's role
as lead Plastic.
But we had a deal: She let the
senior class end their year in peace.
She also wrote an award-winning article
on the social dynamics of mean girls.
Chastity finally looked up her name,
and joined the Abstinence Club.
And Hope finally braved her fear
of water fountains and public germs...
...only to catch
a nasty case of swine flu.
From then on, she swore
to overcome her fears, and instead,
put her trust in antibiotics
and hot doctors.
Tyler decided to go to Penn State,
which, by total coincidence, was
only a few hours away from my school.
As for me, I managed to earn
my Carnegie Mellon tuition
with Sidney's help after all.
The man could truly sell anything,
even my shop class project.
A birdhouse and security camera,
all in one.
Only $1 9.99.
Mr. Hanover even compromised
on Abby majoring in art,
so long as she went to a top college,
which worked out perfectly for me.
- So how does it Iook?
- Nice crown.
Thanks. I thought it
went with the t-shirt.
So I guess my dad was right after all.
To win the race,
you have to be in the race.
Sometimes it just takes a little girl
drama to find out who your friends are.
And, once you have that,
you can survive almost anything...
...even high school.
when you find yourself
in very awkward situations.
I mean, just Iook at that face, Jo.
Abby needs you.
We need you.
And we're willing to pay.
And this would
be one of those moments.
But I swear, it's not like I'm
selling my kidney or anything.
Although, that would
have been less painful.
But I'm getting ahead of myself.
Let me start at the beginning.
And it's the big day,
the qualifying race of the Indy 500.
- She takes her position...
- This is my dad.
...revs the motor
of her stock car, hoping...
To not crash and burn on
the Iast Iap of adolescence.
- Oh, that's my girl.
- Dad built engines for race cars.
And so did l.
Ignore the pigtails.
I was more naive back then.
Because of his work,
I changed schools
two times a year
for the past eight years.
This doesn 't make me a loner
with a highly evolved
defense mechanism or anything.
OK, fine, it does.
Today, everything
was about to change.
It was my first day
at North Shore High,
the last stop before
Carnegie Mellon University,
my dream school.
My rules of survival were simple:
Don 't stand out,
never raise your hand in class
and watch your back at all times.
New town, same school,
same parking lot.
Everyone obsessed
with the freedom of their first car.
It's an identity, like the muscle cars
who think they own the road,
and check out every passing vehicle.
Smart cars who don 't fit in.
The "I'm so perky I might
shake off my tube top " cutesy cars.
And then there's the most
dangerous vehicle on the road,
the high-performance,
high-maintenance sports cars.
If they liked you,
your life was all green lights.
- Hi.
- Hi.
If they didn 't,
you were nothing more than
a wreck on the side of the road.
At North Shore,
they were called the Plastics,
and Mandi Weatherly
was the number one Plastic.
She dotted her name with a
signature heart above the "i. "
Probably because she didn 't
actually possess that organ.
Her two sidekicks were Chastity Meyer,
who was stupid enough to hit a home
run with any boy willing to play,
and Hope Plotkin, uber-hypochondriac,
who believed that germs led to ugliness,
and ugliness led to death.
And thus, my number one rule
for survival: no girl drama.
Actually, no drama, period.
PIease, please, don't be ruined!
And in high school,
an already embarrassing moment
can go from bad...
...to worse.
- Are you OK?
- How bad do I Iook?
She couldn't have looked worse.
- You Iook great.
- Really? Thanks.
I'm Abby Hanover.
Yeah, you must be new.
I'm part of the welcoming committee.
Well, there's only
two of us really and...
...and I'd... I'd Iove
to show you around.
- Are they gone?
- Yeah.
Listen, I think I can find my way
to the front office, thanks.
So, Jo, I see your dad's big in NASCAR.
Well, Iet me set your mind at ease.
We know how to deal with
celebrities here at North Shore.
One of our Iunch Iadies was
on the first season of American ldol.
- Good to know.
- Yeah, it was pretty hot.
And we're also aware
of your many moves.
OK.
'Cause we're aware that students
who move around a Iot
often wind up as
serial killers or actors.
Hey, did I mention we have
an excellent drama department?
I'm not really into drama,
but I do know you have
an advanced shop class.
Menial Iaborer rather than intellectual.
I can respect that.
The cheerleading squad
will be going to the public library
for a field trip.
Now, last year,
we had some problems with that,
where we had 1 2 girls go,
and we had 1 5 girls come back.
I know how much you all love vampires,
but remember,
the school nurse will be
heading up the blood drive,
so sign up for that now.
Home Ec's down the hall, miss.
Actually, as refreshingly sexist
as that is,
I'm here for Advanced Shop.
- Drafting class.
- Right.
Well, we Iost Mike
to that circular saw incident,
so you can be Tyler's partner.
OK, everybody,
get started on your birdhouses.
Trusses or triangles, I don't care.
That's about all
I can deal with right now.
- Hey, Tyler, I'm Jo.
- Hey.
- What's his deal?
- Well, Mr. Giamatti
bleeds Texas A&M maroon and white,
and they Iost Saturday.
If they want to be taken seriously,
they better beat the Longhorns.
Don't Iet Giamatti hear you say that.
And just when a guy seems all dreamy
and has eyes you can fall into...
So we have to build
a Iame birdhouse.
I guess you could decorate it.
...he opens his mouth
and sounds like an ass.
Wow, thanks.
But I was thinking I could
carve the dovetail joint.
- I'm impressed.
- That makes one of us.
In every school,
students have their lunch gang.
As my dad says, your racer
is only as good as your pit crew.
Cutest dog ever, Mandi!
Thanks! Coco Chanel really
sets off my new purse.
You had her checked for rabies, right?
Too bad you couldn't get
the new Prada bag with the fringe.
Would've totally matched her brown fur.
Hello! Fringe is so out.
And I'm at the top of the wait Iist for
the new patent Ieather Prada satchel.
But you've already waited,
Iike, six months for the fringe...
Of course, Mandi,
fringe is so past tense.
Vogue says crimson
is the new accessory,
and you're totally
gonna rock that Iook.
Oh, I know.
Lost much, Iittle freshies? Scram.
Ten dogs in a minute. Let's do this!
You guys are goin' down.
We're gonna win, come on.
- Yeah. Yeah, Iet's go, Iet's go.
- Come on.
- Nick, focus!
- Come on, man.
Chastity, stop drooling.
You know what Mandi
thinks about you and Tyler.
What are you talking about?
Do not play dumb with me.
I don't have to play dumb.
Besides, the cashier
totally sneezed on your salad.
Pay up, you two Iosers.
God, Nick is just so nasty.
I'm only dating him 'cause he's probably
getting a full ride to UCLA.
You know, one week in LA and I'II be
a bikini model-hyphen-reality star
hyphen-awesome!
- I heard Amy Hall is totally into him.
- Oh, she wouldn't dare.
Nickie, over here. I missed you.
- Hey, babe.
- Hey, have you been Iifting weights?
Oh, dude, your rat-dog just tongued me.
Shut up, Nick.
You'II hurt Coco Chanel's feelings.
No groping south of the equator.
Or north, creep.
Wow, the hot chick can
really handle herself.
Wonder what else she can handle.
- Who the hell is she?
- Her name is Jo, Jo Mitchell.
She's in my bio class.
Somebody said she came somewhere,
from, Iike, FIorida or Texas.
Then I also heard that she's
an exchange student from Russia.
Oh, what did they exchange her for?
She's kinda pretty, don't you think?
Well...
...if you're into pleather.
Hello, there. Hi, Coco Chanel.
Go back to Mandi, go on.
Go, go, go.
AII right, just a Iittle bit.
Where's Coco Chanel?
Bad Iittle girl.
Oh, my God! Who did that?
- Who fed Coco Chanel?
- It was Abby.
- Abby did it.
- You? Again?
I'm sorry, I didn't know.
I'm really sorry, Mandi!
I'II buy you another purse.
Or you can just have mine.
Is that what I think it is?
- Duck.
- I Iove ducks.
It's the Prada fringe purse.
My dad got it for me Iast month, but...
Last month? Just go!
Stay down there,
and don't ever Iook at me again.
Better yet,
don't even breathe the same air.
Hey. Well, how was it?
I saw a girl become
roadkill in the cafeteria.
Gotta Iove high school.
Speaking of my escape, has my
Carnegie Mellon application arrived?
Hey, you know, I was Iookin' today,
and I saw that the University of Ohio
has a great architectural program.
You could stay close to home,
transform Toledo
into an architectural wonderland.
Dad, what's going on?
I'm applying early decision
at Carnegie Mellon.
What do you wanna go there for, huh?
They don't even have a good mascot.
I mean, a Scottish terrier.
Who's gonna be intimidated by that?
PIus, you...
You qualify for in-state tuition here.
Oh, my God.
What happened to my tuition?!
Jo... Look, I'm sorry.
I kept hoping that
the market would rebound,
but my investments are in the tank,
and now NASCAR sponsors
have cut spending...
Then make them un-cut spending!
Mom went to Carnegie Mellon,
I... I have to go there.
- She Ioved it!
- I know, I know.
I'm sorry I Iet you down.
I know you're disappointed,
Jo, and that's OK.
Honey, you don't always
have to be so strong.
Strong? I was trying not to panic.
But when you've moved
as much as I have,
you kinda get attached to the idea
of settling down in one place
for four years.
In this case, my mother's alma mater.
My dad and I have been
on our own for a long time.
My mom died before I was one.
So life wasn 't exactly your typical
warm and fuzzy greeting card.
But I wasn 't the only one
in my own personal hell.
Abby was hoping
that her swollen, black ankle
might be enough for Mandi to forget
about her dog's infamous upchuck.
And it might have been...
if not for the two's long history.
Jealousy is a funny thing.
They had lived across
from each other for years.
And while Mandi
seemingly had everything...
...Abby had more.
She had two parents
who went a little overboard
for their darling Abby.
First, there was the infamous
moon bounce war at age five.
Mandi's was cool,
but Abby's was three stories high.
Yay!
Then, the French Revolution
Halloween meltdown at age 1 1.
Mandi flaunted her
store-bought peasant costume,
until she spotted Abby's
utterly perfect,
hand-stitched,
Marie Antoinette royal gown.
And finally, the great
bra incident of junior high.
- Hi, Mandi.
- Hi.
Well, that had more to do with nature.
Still, Mandi might have
found someone else to hate,
if Abby hadn 't done the unthinkable.
Mandi, oh, my God! Someone
has a better parking space than us.
Hey, babe, who snagged
the plush disabled spot?
I guess you're number two now.
Two? Two?
Mandi hated being number two.
- This is war.
- Oh, God.
- EIIiot, we need a Iittle favor.
- Sure.
Chastity.
- Hey.
- Anything.
- You're on the Web team, right?
- Of course.
Trained in Java and C++.
I also have my Math CIub Card,
Hacker Membership, Journalist Pass,
and I do a Iittle salsa
for the Iadies.
How can I be of service?
- Sorry.
- Oh, gross!
Abby Scabby's face Iooks as red and
pussy as it did in seventh grade.
Zit cream much?
Mandi was creative,
ruthless, unrelenting.
- I'd seen her kind before.
- Need a napkin?
And this was just the beginning.
Brutal.
You know, most girls
would have Iaughed,
texted back or posted a status update.
Do I Iook Iike most girls?
Oh, God.
What a paint job!
Need another one?
Hey, Abby, Iet me
give you a ride home.
I don't bite.
- Nice house.
- Thanks.
Abby? Honey, what's wrong?
- May I help you?
- Oh, hi.
I gave Abby a ride home from school,
and she dropped this.
What happened to Abby's car?
Did she have an accident?
She had an accident, didn't she?
Was she hurt?
No, it wasn't an accident.
It was just some girls at school.
Again? I knew we should
have sent her to St. Mary's.
Right. Well, tell Abby,
Jo said goodbye.
She's a wreck.
Our poor baby, she keeps saying
that everybody hates her.
I'II buy her some new clothes,
a week at a spa.
Money's not gonna fix this, Sidney.
She's sobbing her eyes out,
and I don't know what to do.
If only she had some friends.
Listen, Jo, she's devastated.
But it's her senior year,
and I want it to be perfect.
I mean, just Iook at that face.
She needs you. We need you.
And we're willing to pay.
- What?
- For you to be her friend.
Two, three, 4,000 to get you started.
- You're crazy.
- Wait, please.
I have more money
than I know what to do with.
And if I can't buy my daughter's
happiness, then what is it worth?
- You can't buy friends.
- OK. Don't call it a friend.
Call it her bodyguard,
guardian angel, fairy god-sister.
There must be something you want.
Some dream I can help come true.
A new car? A trip to Europe? College?
College.
Today's economy,
it's rough out there.
You need money for college,
and it isn't cheap.
- Let me pay for yours.
- Forget it.
Look, just try it out
for 30 days, risk-free.
I guarantee you'II be happy you did.
And just for trying, I'II buy your
college books for freshman year,
which are yours to keep, no questions
asked, as my Iittle gift to you.
Sidney was pretty convincing,
and I should have realized why.
He was the king of infomercials.
He could sell anything
from meat juicers to cat toilets
to my college tuition.
I knew it was crazy.
But Abby'd have a good senior year,
and I'd get my dream
of Carnegie Mellon University.
I figured, who would it hurt?
Four hundred people already viewed it.
That computer geek
Iived up to his promise.
Which is Iike a rarity in Iife,
that anyone comes through.
Especially fathers and doctors.
Not my Iegs, Chastity, my face.
Getting all red and splotchy.
- What?
- You're never gonna believe this.
What do you mean?
Someone posted a Iink
on your page to another video.
Look, it's that new girl, Jo.
She totally bailed Abby out.
Who is this girl?
Some bad-ass biker chick?
There's tons of comments.
- AII the guys think she's hot.
- OK.
So she's hot.
She's well-connected.
I mean, she's pretty much one of us.
So we'II just need
to make it very clear that,
from here on out, she's only
nice to the people that we Iike.
Agreed?
Mandi, can I get a quote
from you on the school play,
or the Iacrosse team, or just,
Iike, anything, really?
God, I am not up for
the paparazzi this morning.
It's so embarrassing
how much they Iove me.
I'm Mandi, with an "i."
And you're Jo, right?
- That's me.
- So, Jo, since you're new here,
I thought we'd help you out,
Iet you know who to hang out with.
- Us.
- The real welcoming committee
had arrived.
- And who not to.
- Did I say "welcoming?"
Wow. Thanks.
But I think I can
figure that out on my own.
Really? Well, I... I haven't
been impressed so far.
- Excuse me?
- But I'm a benevolent dictator,
so why don't we discuss over a non-fat,
no-sugar raspberry Frappuccino
- at the coffee joint?
- We only use Skinny-and-Sweet.
It's Iike cellulite in a straw,
but without the cellulite.
As scientifically interesting
as that sounds,
I'II have to pass.
Oh, it wasn't a question.
Oops. Guess I answered anyway.
Oh, my God. Hi.
I'm Quinn Shinn,
editor of the school paper.
That was unbelievable.
Nobody turns Mandi down.
- I just didn't feel Iike going.
- You're kidding, right?
No, the PIastics are goddesses.
And Mandi can, Iike, ruin you.
I wrote one article on school uniforms,
and she put strawberries in my yogurt.
How horrible for you?
Oh, I had an allergic reaction
to the strawberries,
swelled up Iike a big Arothron hispidus.
That's a blowfish.
Be careful, Jo.
Thanks, but I'm not that worried.
Hey, what's up?
So you dropped your notebook,
but I gave it back to your dad.
Pretty cool sketches.
Are you an artist?
Look, it's cool, I get it.
You don't have to...
- Get what?
- Principal Duvall sent you.
But Iook, the welcoming committee
was just a stupid idea.
I mean, really, you're the first
new student here in ages,
so you're off the hook.
- Thanks for the ride, though.
- Sure.
Registration for AP test has closed.
Now...
Now, we all know the
tradition here at North Shore
is to use the Homecoming Dance...
...to fund-raise for charity, OK?
'Cause otherwise you all
would just think
the world revolves around
you and football.
And it doesn't, OK?
I told you not to walk in front of...
Babe, I already chose your tuxedo,
rented the Iimo and...
Oh, red rose corsage,
not a frigging carnation.
Mandi, you are so
winning Homecoming Queen.
Totally winning.
...the school nurse will
be heading up the blood drive,
- so sign up for that now.
- PIease.
Like I'm Ietting that petri dish
of a clinic stick a needle in me.
I know!
And no matter what I said...
Hey, do you know
where I could catch the bus?
I think it just Ieft.
CIassic. This is why I really
need to fix my bike today.
Do you know any good auto parts
shops? I've gotta get a new spark plug.
Well, I... I think there's Pete's Auto
right next to the coffee joint.
I could give you a ride if you want.
I mean, I really owe you one anyway.
Sweet, thanks.
Oh, Iook, it's Jo! Hey, Jo!
Hey.
She's with Abby Hanover!
Hi.
Thanks for the Iift.
Do you wanna come inside?
I'II probably break something,
but... but sure.
- Who's that?
- My mom.
She's really pretty.
Yeah. She was.
What are these?
That's the Sydney Harbor Bridge
and a skyscraper I've been designing.
Kind of hard to tell,
I'm a crappy artist.
- I could help, if you want.
- Really?
You're pretty talented,
based on those sketches I saw.
You should see my paintings sometime.
Actually, you don't have to.
It's a bad idea...
No, that'd be really cool.
OK. You ready to
go change a spark plug?
My gosh, is that a friend?
Maybe you were right.
Girls aren't so bad after all.
Hello, Mr. Winkle!
Are those illegal parts? I'II bet you're
running a chop shop over there.
Well, I've installed security cameras,
and I'II be watching you.
You hear?
Goodbye, Mr. Winkle.
Jo Mitchell, you have
no idea how scary I can be.
Hey, Abby! How are you?
- I can't get up!
- Are you all right?
I don't know.
Pull me as hard as you can.
OK.
- Now what?
- Help me up.
OK.
Seriously? Who would ever
think of something so childish,
yet brilliant,
except a bunch of mean girls?
- Hey, Mandi.
- Hi.
Now, what do we do?
I would've strangled her right there...
Meet me in the bathroom.
Bring any spare clothes
that you have.
...if I could get off the Vespa.
Wow. Bad-ass!
So cool.
Coming through!
Sorry!
Are you OK?
This is all my fault.
You should've never hung out with me.
Mandi's gonna make
your Iife a Iiving hell.
Abby, you can't Iive in fear.
- Did you find me something to wear?
- Just my art smock.
That'II have to do. Thanks.
- Do you need my help?
- I think I got it.
- How do I Iook?
- Great.
- Hey, nice Iook.
- It's not funny.
- I'm not joking, it's hot.
- Thanks.
No unauthorized videos
of my students on the monitor.
By the next day, I hoped
everyone would have forgotten
about my wardrobe malfunction,
but it wasn 't what I was expecting.
Apparently, holding your head high after
a Mandi vendetta earned you points.
Oh, my gosh, this is so cool!
You started it.
It was your smock.
- It's cute.
- It's pathetic.
I could smear paint all over my Versace,
but I have taste, style.
They're just sheep.
Chastity, make out with the
student intern in the front office,
get Jo's file. Hope, stalk her.
I want to know everything.
Wow, this is amazing.
You shouldn't waste your talent
on sketches for me.
Oh, I don't mind.
AII right,
what should we work on first?
Well, I Iove
building cars with my dad,
but I wanna... I wanna design something
more Iasting and permanent.
I.M. Pei, for instance,
designs the most amazing buildings,
- and Joseph Strauss...
- Built the Golden Gate Bridge.
Yeah, my family went there Iast summer.
It's pretty awesome.
Well, then, why don't
we start with San Francisco?
AII right, cool.
Oh, yeah, and if my dad asks,
this is a school project.
He thinks artists are,
Iike, homeless hippies, so...
- I don't wanna get you in trouble.
- Oh, no, no, no!
I need some more samples
for my portfolio anyway.
I'm applying to NYU Design School.
Or, as I tell my dad, Columbia Pre-Med.
These are...
They're incredible.
Thanks.
Tyler, Iate. Sit.
While I was breaking
all my rules with Abby,
I figured I could enjoy
a few other things
North Shore had to offer.
He could walk in late
any day he wanted.
Hey.
Oh. Hi.
OK, everybody, big day today.
A&M beat Arkansas
in overtime on Saturday. Yes!
Oh, and today, we commence
the great egg-drop project.
Young Iady,
that is where we drop a boiled egg
in a parachute without it breaking.
You'II be judged on style and structure.
And if you'd just Iike to opt out and
bring in deviled eggs for the class...
Tempting, but doesn't
the top student have the option
to submit for the Thompson-Bird
Architecture scholarship?
Yes. Not that any of you slackers care.
EIigibility for the scholarship
requires a 4.5 GPA,
at Ieast a 2300 on your SATs,
math and verbal,
top scores on all class projects
and a glowing Ietter
of recommendation from me.
And as you know, I don't glow often.
Let me guess,
we're gonna have to win.
Pretty much.
Well, then maybe we should
get in some extra study time.
Go to a movie or something?
- Tomorrow night?
- Sounds good.
- Hey!
- Guess what?
Tyler just asked me out.
It was amazing,
having a friend to confide in.
Jo, you can't.
It'd be a big mistake.
- Or not.
- You don't know who he...
He's my shop partner,
and I've seen him without a shirt.
Good enough for me.
Oh, my God!
Tyler is a total traitor.
- She's so crossed the Iine.
- Who has?
That bitch, Jo.
God, Nick, keep up.
And give me your car keys.
Don't.
- Where you goin'?
- Nowhere. Out with a friend.
Your friend's got a nice car.
And your friend is also a guy.
Goodbye, Dad.
I'II be home by ten.
- Nice wheels.
- Nick insisted I borrow his car.
I figured you take cars pretty
seriously, so I took him up on it.
Does that mean I get to drive?
Yes.
- Oh, thank you.
- After you.
Thank you very much.
I gotta admit, Jo,
you did pretty good.
No screaming on the roller coaster,
a solid stomach on the Gravitron.
And kicking your ass at bumper cars.
I Iike a guy who can take the heat.
Oh, really?
How many guys are you Iooking at?
Come on, Jo.
Four schools in three years?
How many? Six boyfriends? A dozen?
None.
But I'm sort of breaking
all my rules this year.
You've never had a boyfriend?
Shut up! So I never
played Spin the Bottle,
I never suffered through
Seven Minutes in Heaven.
Never...
...kissed anyone?
...beginning of the blood drive
this month, so sign up now.
That's it from me,
I'm your principal.
You know me.
I'll see you in the hallways.
Remember, stay left, or right...
- How'd it go?
- Perfect,
- you had nothing to worry about.
- Hello, North Shore,
Iast night, our new girl, Jo Mitchell
had a first date, and more.
How many?
Six boyfriends? A dozen?
None. But I'm sort of breaking
all my rules this year.
Oh, God. This isn't happening.
- You've never had a boyfriend?
- Shut up!
So I never played Spin the Bottle,
I never suffered through
Seven Minutes in Heaven, l...
Never... kissed anyone?
That's right,
Jo Mitchell is a virgin!
She's a virgin?
Young Iove. Isn't it pathetic?
Jo, I'm so sorry.
It's gonna be OK, I promise.
Emergency slumber party?
Thanks, Abby.
You're the best. I'm...
I'm sorry I didn't Iisten.
And Abby was the best.
Which only made me feel worse.
I was totally lying to her,
the one person who
kept having my back.
Maybe I deserved Mandi's torture.
Jo.
I'm sorry, I didn't...
How could you set me up Iike that?
I hope you and Mandi
are very happy together.
I can't believe him!
Jo, how are you holding up?
EIIiot wanted to do a story
on virgins in high school,
but I totally nixed it.
- Hi. You're Jo, right?
- Yeah.
Guys. Last year, all three of us fell
for this jerk of a senior.
We put out, and he
dumped us the next day.
We should have waited,
Iike you, for the right guy.
- Yeah, no kidding.
- Yeah.
Tyler wasn't exactly the right guy.
He was just another one
of Mandi's puppets.
Yeah, well, we just wanted to tell you
we think you're awesome.
- Yeah, definitely.
- See you around.
Thanks!
Why does he even put up with her?
Why wouldn't he?
You can't choose your siblings.
- What? Siblings?
- I thought he told you.
- Tyler is Mandi's stepbrother.
- I'm such an idiot!
- I thought they were just hooking up.
- Oh, gross!
But now you see why it was so easy
for Mandi to bug your date.
No way, not Tyler.
It had to have been someone else.
Oh, my God. We were in Nick's car.
- You dick! You bugged the car?
- Come on, man.
- I thought it was fun.
- Don't you turn your back on me, Nick!
What are you gonna do, Tyler?
You're gonna hit your best friend?
- Break it up! That's enough!
- Can't you take a joke?
- I'm gonna mess you up!
- You don't scare me!
You don't scare me.
- Punch me! Bring it on!
- Come on. Are you afraid?
Well, that was fun.
Hope, what else do we have
on the Virgin Queen?
Well, a 4.5 GPA, high SATs,
three AP classes and...
Oh, she's applying for
architecture scholarships.
Her dream...
...Carnegie Mellon University.
OK, so one more time.
She's never made out
with anyone... ever?
Or this week?
Hey, not so fast.
Today's your Iucky day.
We got a sale going on.
- Twenty percent off all grade changes.
- Look, just Ieave me alone.
Look, I'm just trying
to say I'm sorry, OK?
I was clouded by Iust.
And if it helps, I got kicked off
the Web team for abuse of power.
You're still a jerk.
At Ieast your shirt's funny.
Nice fight in the cafeteria.
I could smell the testosterone.
Does this mean I'm forgiven?
Well, it's not your fault that
your dad married Mandi's mom.
But next time, warn me
that you Iive with Mandi
in a totally platonic way.
Wait, you thought...
Dude, gross!
But despite Quinn and Abby's urging,
I refused to stoop to Mandi's level.
Besides, I was having so much fun with
my new friends, I almost didn 't care.
You coming?
Who are those girls?
Do they even go to our school?
I was just Iooking
at the Homecoming website,
and everybody's talking
about the hot new couple.
Nick and I are the
hottest couple in school.
Not anymore.
So this was it, the first challenge.
Success was worth 100 points,
and I needed every point I could get
to qualify for the scholarship.
Boiled egg in the structure.
No breaks, no bruises.
- Ready?
- Ready.
And... drop!
OK, who switched the eggs?
Who? No one?
Oh, well.
Who's next?
Mandi had found a new part
of my life to destroy:
My chance
at the Thompson-Bird scholarship.
Our next experiment
didn't go much better.
- You ready?
- Yeah.
Hope called her doctor on speed dial
and switched our CO2 for laughing gas.
Hey, guys, I'm here.
Seriously, Chastity?
I said "incognito,"
not "Iike a flamingo."
Go.
There's poo on my Jimmy Choo!
Shake it off, shake it off.
Go, slow.
Faster!
I can't go any further.
What is the matter with you?
Funnel.
The funnel!
- Oh, there you go.
- Right. Secret weapon?
Hope, a fanny pack, never OK.
Coffee?
Perfect.
Dad, what's going on?
It's ruined.
- The whole motor is gummed up.
- What? What happened?
- It was running perfectly yesterday.
- I don't know.
I don't know, maybe
it's the fuel, a faulty part.
It doesn't matter because Jimmy and the
boys are expecting a trial run tomorrow.
Dad...
We can figure something out.
There's not enough time,
and there's not enough money.
Maybe I can call in a favor,
beg for an extension, tell 'em
it was some kind of fluke accident,
I don't know.
But this was definitely no accident.
Mandi had gone too far.
Mess with me, fine.
Mess with my family...
...you're dead.
It was as if all my girl hormones
had kicked into overdrive,
and I was out for blood.
The Plastics were going down,
and I didn 't care
what rules I had to break...
...to make her pay.
- What happened?
- Mandi happened.
Is that all you got?
Going after my dad,
you spoiled, narcissistic bitch!
That's his job,
not some play-toy for you!
But it was so much fun.
The way I figure it, no job,
no income, no house, no JoJo.
Right?
I don't run away that easy.
Get over yourself, man-hands.
You're just a passing phase.
I'm here for the Iong run.
Oh, yeah?
Are you sure about that?
Coffee?
Abby, you don't need
to do this with me.
Of course I do.
It's what best friends are for.
There's something I need to tell you.
This was it, the moment to tell Abby
I'd made a deal with her father
that I totally regretted,
and beg for forgiveness.
But looking at her,
the idea of losing my first
best friend in a long time,
I couldn 't do it.
So, what do you need to tell me?
I...
You should know,
my Iast BFF relationship
crashed and burned.
She became snobby and judgmental
and used guys as pawns of warfare,
which is saying a Iot,
considering it was fourth grade.
Geez! Sounds Iike a mini-Mandi.
But don't worry,
we're nothing Iike that.
Success! OK.
I grabbed all the archived
papers with the PIastics,
which was pretty much every issue.
- If there's dirt, we'II find it.
- What's this?
Mandi's Annual Birthday Bash.
- Everybody wants to be invited.
- But, of course, they aren't.
Mandi never allows anybody
to throw a party when she does.
Is that so?
I am so excited. Tonight
is gonna be the perfect night.
It should be.
It's costing my dad enough.
Our dad, Tyler.
You know, most people
would die to be my brother.
That's only because they don't
know what you're really Iike.
You mean perfect,
awesome and popular?
More Iike conceited,
vain and vindictive.
You're only happy when
making others miserable.
But high school will end, Mandi.
And then what will you have Ieft?
This is a bad idea.
Nobody's gonna show up.
Of course they will. Who wants
to go to some expensive party
with cocktail dresses and raw fish,
where Mandi talks
about how awesome she is?
People who think Mandi's awesome.
No one actually thinks that.
Trust me, it's just years
of social brainwashing.
Wait, why aren't you guys ready?
People will arrive any minute!
We are ready.
No! No!
- Abby, no! Honey!
- Mom...
I bought you all those
party clothes for a reason.
Now you don't have an excuse,
because you're actually the host.
Come on. Come on!
Come on, Iet's go.
Come on, sugar, Iet's go!
Come on! My Iittle girl
is throwing a party!
- Seriously?
- Mom, stop.
Now, Jo, you know you're not gonna
have this Iittle body forever.
- Mom!
- I'm just saying
she oughta show it off.
- Mom, just stop!
- In something Iike this.
- IIene Hanover!
- Definitely.
I knew it!
- Invitation, miss?
- I don't have one.
Oh, no, I'm sorry, it's invite only.
OK.
Thank you, thank you all so much
for coming to my birth...
Where... Where is everyone?
Wow! I can't believe this!
I can't believe this
is my house, my party!
Believe it.
- You both Iook amazing.
- Thanks, you're not so bad yourself.
This party rocks!
Only where's the food?
Oh, I heard Mandi's
serving nigiri sushi.
- That's sushi.
- Pizza's coming.
Pizza.
This is a disaster of epic proportions!
I mean, don't panic, Mandi.
Maybe they just got the wrong address.
Or...
What if Jo and Abby
are throwing a party tonight?
Stating the obvious much, moron?
- What are we gonna do?
- Not go over there?
He's inside!
Hope, do you still have that
vile medicine from your doctor?
You mean the ipecac? Of course.
EIIiot hasn't stopped
staring at you all night.
Really? But he's EIIiot.
Thanks.
Oh, thank God, I'm starving.
Do these smell funny?
Maybe the delivery guy
mixed up our order.
- Here you go. Thanks.
- No problem. GIad to help.
- Wait! Don't eat that.
- What? Why?
Because I'm not the only one
who paid the pizza guy.
OK, it's done.
Their party's about to
get extremely unsanitary.
- What'd I miss?
- Oh, nothing, honey bear.
We just have a party to attend.
Oh, and I wouldn't wear
nice shoes if I were you.
Perhaps galoshes.
- Happy not your birthday!
- Really, Chastity?
Joke.
Wait, nobody's puking.
Oh, thank God!
I mean, damn it!
Where's the pizza?
What the hell happened?
God, Nick, go do something!
Look at those two.
God, what does Tyler even see in her?
Get over it already, Chastity.
My brother is off-Iimits.
Like what you say matters, Mandi.
You can't even throw a birthday party.
Shut up!
I'II be right back.
Man, the food's all gone.
Oh, Nick, I saved you a piece of pizza.
One second.
Why is Mandi here?
Well, I think she was hoping
to gloat over a party disaster,
which, if I can count on Nick,
won't take Iong.
- Bon apptit.
- Thank you.
Mandi, can I see your invitation?
Because I'm pretty sure I Ieft
"Vapid Bitch" off the Iist.
You think you're so clever,
but you're not.
You're just using my brother
to get back at me,
and I'm gonna make sure
that he knows that.
Not everything is about you, Mandi.
Especially not my Iove Iife.
At Ieast I have one. Where's your
boyfriend on your birthday?
You wanna see a Iove Iife,
Iittle virgin?
I'II show you.
Oh, my God, did he just...?
Oh, God, move! Move!
Yep. Sorry about your patio.
Oh, totally worth it!
And we didn'tjust stop there.
Abby, Quinn and I set out
to disband the Plastics
once and for all.
We called ourselves the Anti-Plastics.
Not very original,
but it got the point across.
Wow.
Wow.
Wow.
We gathered our forces.
But as the Anti-Plastics grew,
Mandi started recruiting
for her side.
It was time to break apart
the founding members,
starting with Chastity.
So we simply tipped Principal Duvall.
Oh, Principal Duvall! A note.
Her weakness: a raging libido.
OK, where's the back stairwell that's
a herpes infection waiting to happen?
- C-wing.
- Thank you.
EIIiot, Iet me borrow that.
The camera! Get to class.
For the Iove of all that's sanitary,
get outta there, people!
You wait right here, young Iady.
You officially earned detention
for a week. Unbelievable.
No, no, no! In solitary confinement.
Let's go, move it.
- Principal Duvall.
- What?
- The announcements!
- Oh, yeah, Iet's go!
- And action!
- Good afternoon, everybody.
We have a winner for the
Homecoming Dance Charity.
The winner is the Humane Society.
So...
Where did you come from?
Get outta here!
I'm talking about the importance
of neutering here, people! Cut it off.
- How could you do that?
- Do what?
Rat out all of my make-out spots!
You're the only one I told, Mandi.
Now, who's gonna do my homework
and tell me I'm special?
- Sorry.
- Hey!
For Hope, who'd been a hypochondriac
since contracting mono
from a water fountain,
we said goodbye to Mandi's
"no bodily fluids" rule.
Oh, my God, oh, my God!
- I'm gonna contract E. coli.
- Even worse, you have a zit.
I knew ugliness was contagious!
Hope booked an emergency healing
massage and seaweed facial.
Unfortunately, there
was a mix-up at the spa...
...and Hope ended up resembling
the Wicked Witch of the West.
It still hadn 't faded
after an entire weekend.
Mandi! What is wrong with you?
You didn't pick me up.
I had to ride my Schwinn.
I don't pick up ogres.
And green, definitely not your color.
Wha...?
Why hasn't it washed away?
I added some
Iong-Iasting henna ink.
Don't you think that's a bit much?
Come on, she deserved it.
Peace out!
Nobody'II ever see that.
With Chastity and Hope down,
there was only one Plastic left.
Cupcakes! Cupcakes!
Red velvet,
or perhaps devil's food cake?
- Thank you!
- Traitor!
- You don't own me, Mandi.
- Oh, yeah?
I don't Iike you right now!
You totally Iost my vote.
Yummy frosting, though.
Nice job, Quinn. You truly are
an amazing investigative reporter.
I've been obsess... I mean,
watching them for years.
Just needed to dig a Iittle deeper.
Hi!
Hey.
- Hey!
- Hey!
- Hi.
- Hey!
- Hello, girls.
- Hey!
- I already got my dress.
- Hey.
- Oh, hey, Abby.
- OK, Jo, this year the music
better not suck at the dance.
You have sway with the DJ, right?
- Of course. What are your requests?
- OK...
- We could get that guy who...
- You know, if she keeps
inviting everybody to join our group,
there won't be any room Ieft.
At Ieast Mandi understood
the importance of exclusivity.
Someone has to be the proletariat.
That's Iower class.
Hey, kid. Lend me a hand.
Jimmy gave me an extension
on delivering the engine.
Sorry, Dad. I've got shopping with Quinn
and a movie with Tyler,
and I still have
to make my campaign buttons.
Busy, busy!
Busy, busy.
- Hey, Jo.
- Hi.
- Hey!
- Hi.
- Hey, what's up?
- Hey.
- What's up?
- Hi.
I wonder how much sugar is in this.
- You did not just ask that.
- What?
Jo, you ate, Iike,
two funnel cakes, a hot dog
and a bag of kettle corn
on our first date.
And you didn't wear
these crazy studded boots.
Come on. You're kidding me, right?
- Using me to make Chastity jealous?
- Look, I was just...
Starting to act a hell
of a Iot Iike Mandi,
which is not the kind of
girl I want to be dating.
Hey, I am nothing Iike Mandi.
Oh, really? Running for queen,
humiliating people,
using their secrets against them,
dressing Iike you're
on the cover of Rolling Stone,
which, OK, it's kinda
hot sometimes, but not the part
where you suddenly care about
what everyone else thinks.
Jo...
What happened to that girl
I met in shop class?
And when I got home, there it was,
waiting for me:
my future.
How had I almost forgotten?
The fat Ietter!
- It's good news, right?
- The best.
Jo. Look, honey,
I feel Iousy about your tuition fund.
But, honey, that doesn't mean
that you shouldn't be excited.
I mean, CMU, that's... that's big stuff!
And if I can just get
this engine finished,
or... what about that
architectural scholarship?
The scholarship.
But somehow, all this campaigning
and preening and plotting
had gotten in the way.
I didn't even know what my grade was
in shop class anymore.
Oh, hey, I almost forgot.
Abby's dad dropped this off for ya.
So does she know where
she's goin' to college yet?
Abby wants art school, but
her dad's more of a pre-med guy.
Well, just make sure that she knows
that to... to win the race...
You gotta be in the race.
But what if I wanted out?
What if I wanted to forfeit the race
because I didn't deserve to win?
Got something that's real revolutionary.
It's gonna revolutionize
your gardening experience.
Hey, Mr. Hanover.
Abby's not home
from the movie yet, is she?
No, thought you'd be with 'em.
- But glad you're here.
- Listen, Mr. Hanover, I...
- I brought back the money.
- Jo, what, are you crazy?
The money's for you, every damn penny.
You've earned it.
Hiring you to be her friend was
the best money we've ever spent.
PIease. Mr. Hanover, I can't.
Jo, I'm sending it right back to you.
I'd give a bonus, if I gave them.
Which I don't.
Is it true? Did my dad pay you
to be friends with me?
Quinn finally got her big story.
She quoted Mandi as a witness.
Why would Quinn do this?
How could you?
- I was gonna tell Abby everything.
- Face it, Jo.
The PIastics are the originals,
and they don't have to pay
anyone to be their friend.
No! You just sold out
your friends for free!
Oh, what, Iike you sold me out?
God, I trusted you.
You know what?
You go to hell, Jo Mitchell.
I wish I never even met you.
Just to see their faces.
You were so good, Mandi.
I totally voted for you.
- Too bad this didn't come out earlier.
- Why?
Well, from what I hear, Jo is
a shoo-in for Homecoming Queen.
It's too Iate for people
to change their votes.
- That is, if she's eligible.
- EIigibility is based on matriculation.
So she'd have to be
expelled or something.
Wouldn't that be a tragedy?
This is gonna be
the best senior prank ever.
The best.
OK, so tell me again
why we don't keep the money?
- That's a Iot of money.
- Then there's no dance,
and if there's no dance,
I'm not the queen.
I don't know.
Money can't do this.
As many of you know,
we had a robbery last night.
Now, the evidence strongly suggests
that the thief
was a student, because of his wanton
disregard for school property.
This student, or students,
clearly degenerates,
stole the money that was
intended for helpless animals.
Now, unless the money is returned,
I have no choice but
to cancel the Homecoming Dance.
This is your principal,
signing off for today,
reminding you to stay left
or right, not center.
Miss Mitchell, I received an anonymous
tip today that you stole the money.
That's a Iie. I would never do that.
Well, apparently you did.
We had a policeman go
to your shed this afternoon.
And I'm afraid we
found the stolen money.
- How did that get there?
- I didn't steal it, I swear!
Somebody must've put it there, and...
I would bet anything it was Mandi.
Well, now, Miss Weatherly
may be the spawn of Satan,
but unless you have proof,
there's nothing I can do
except expel you.
It officially couldn't get much worse.
I'm also sorry to say that I'm gonna
have to report this to Carnegie Mellon,
and they very well may
rescind your admission.
Miss Mitchell, where are you going?
Come back here!
- Did you hear about Jo?
- I can't believe it.
- What a fake.
- I knew it.
I knew it all along,
and I tried to warn people.
I tried to protect you all from her.
- Mandi, you are Iike a saint.
- Yeah, a total saint.
- Oh, yeah, a real martyr.
- You mean a real bitch!
Wait. As much as we all might Iike that,
I can't Iet it happen.
This is crazy! Shouldn't she be
Iocked up in juvie or something?
Girls, why don't we
settle this Iike Iadies...
Screw being Iadies,
and screw being girls!
I'm sick of the mind games
and the backstabbing and the set-ups.
I know you framed me, Mandi.
So we're gonna settle this Iike men,
on the battlefield.
- Oh, please.
- That's right.
I challenge you...
...to a football game,
- Powder Puff style.
- No way.
I... I don't do sports.
You scared?
Can't take the heat, Mandi?
I thought you were
the best at everything.
I thought people trembled
in the presence of the PIastics.
You wanna win?
The only way you're gonna
become queen is by default.
Fine, you're on.
But be prepared to Iose.
You know, you and your team of one.
I realized a little too late
that I no longer had any friends.
But if I had to take on
all the Plastics by myself, I would.
AII right, Iet's get to class,
everybody. Hang out in the hallway.
- Do you really think she did it?
- I don't know anymore.
Certainly not about Jo.
Hey, Mr. Hanover.
This was in our mailbox. It's for you.
- Listen, you're Jo's boyfriend, right?
- Ex-boyfriend.
Awkward.
Thing is, I've got something for Jo.
It's the money, actually.
Would you give it to her? A deal's a
deal. It's not her fault Abby found out.
- She gave the money back to you?
- Of course.
I was expecting it, really.
I knew she'd Iove Abby
once she got to know her.
I just needed to make that happen.
So remember, you can't wear
red or pink to the dance.
Those are my colors.
And I'm wearing my hair up,
'cause it's best for the crown,
so wear yours down.
- Quinn, are you Iistening?
- Yes, absolutely. Hair down.
Hey, Abby.
- Look, just don't.
- But...
You know, Jo may have Iied to me,
but at Ieast she taught me one thing.
Stand up for myself.
So... get Iost, Quinn.
Fine, hate me.
But you should know I don't think
Jo stole the money.
I think Mandi did.
- How do you know?
- Because I sort of gave her
the idea to get Jo expelled.
AIso, Jo spent an awful Iot of time
putting together
and sending out
college applications for you.
She even put together your portfolio.
I helped her make about a dozen
of those with journalism equipment.
I hope you get into art school, Abby.
I really do.
So Mr. Hanover just called.
Apparently, one of his distributors
is sending new parts for the engine.
That's great, right?
We can finish the car in time
for Jimmy and the new racer.
So, you... You heard from Abby?
I've texted, called.
I tried her NorthShoreCentric page.
No Iuck.
That girl really hates my guts.
But I can't blame her.
I'm not sure why you don't hate me.
Listen, kid, I'm not proud
of what you did to Abby,
but I know that you care about her.
- And you're certainly not a thief.
- At Ieast someone believes me.
Oh, I don't think it's just me.
- Am I seeing things?
- We haven't forgiven you yet.
Not even close.
But we can't Iet you
take the fall for Mandi.
- That's right, we've got your back.
- Mandi's goin' down.
I knew it.
I knew Mandi set me up, and...
...you guys came to rescue me.
I don't deserve you.
Oh, my God, are you crying?
No, I never cry.
AII right, now come on,
we have a game to prepare for.
And you're right,
Mandi needs her ass kicked.
And we have an idea
to prove your innocence.
- Do you think you can do it?
- Hack into their security system?
Not easy, but not impossible. I just
have to detect their wireless signal,
then hack into their computer
and find their security account.
Wait, got it.
They named their Wi-Fi
"AIwaysWatching?"
What's their pass code, "666?"
It'II take a few days,
but if Mandi planted the evidence,
I'II find the footage.
But...
I want something in return.
I knew it. I knew
he wouldn't do it for free.
What do you want, EIIiot?
A date to the dance, with Abby.
Hey, good Iuck at the game.
I'II be rooting for you.
Even got my own side biz going on.
Odds are 30 to one in Mandi's favor.
- What? Why?
- You haven't heard?
Mandi had managed to recruit
the captain of the rugby team...
...a fifth-year senior
who felt no pain...
...and the three-time Junior Division
Karate Champion onto her team.
But we weren 't backing down.
And neither was Mandi.
She wasn 't going to pull any punches.
It was time to end this
once and for all.
- Got it?
- Yes, sir!
Good!
Hi, baby! Oh, you Iook so cute.
- Our Iittle athlete.
- Mom, Dad, come on.
You know you can't be in here.
Just go.
You're right, you're right.
We need to find a seat.
- The bleachers are already filling up.
- Yay! Yay!
- I'm gonna vomit.
- It's gonna be OK, I promise.
- What's the worst that could happen?
- We Iose?
Is everybody decent in here?
I don't want a sexual
harassment Iawsuit... again.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, we're good.
Principal Duvall, what are you
doing here on a weekend?
Well, I've tried to turn
a blind eye to this game,
but the fact that you made
the challenge in my presence,
and you've plastered the school
with posters made that kinda hard.
Thought you guys would wimp out.
But I guess now
I will have to intervene.
Mainly because Mandi's team
wants to file a Iawsuit.
- What are you talking about?
- Jo, due to your expulsion,
you are not allowed on school grounds.
Thus, you cannot play the game.
- Damn it! Mandi was counting on this.
- I know.
- You know?
- Yep, which is why
I Iooked into this issue days ago.
You know, technically,
the football field is public property
since it's on park Iand.
You know, the school
only rents it for games.
So all we needed was a permit,
which I have right here.
Well, great then.
I guess you are just not
allowed in the Iocker room.
See ya!
Well, I guess my job here is done.
Let's go, team!
Kill! Maim! Dismember.
Yeah!
Yeah!
Go, Abby!
The big day was upon us,
and we were going
to take the Plastics down.
Come on, girls!
We were ready for anything.
Didn't expect to see me here?
I'm still gonna kick your team's ass.
OK, girls, Iisten up.
Football is a religion,
and you are now in church.
Do not disgrace this field.
We'II play by playground rules.
Fumbles that hit the ground
are Iive balls. Four downs and out.
No punts, no extra points
and a touchdown is seven points.
Get it? Got it?
Good.
We will flip a coin to see
who receives the ball.
- Pink Team, you call it.
- Heads.
- Heads it is.
- We'II receive.
AII right, shake hands.
OK, then.
Run, moron, run!
Take it, take it.
- There's no nunchakus in football!
- Man.
Ball, now!
Touchdown!
So Iisten. My dad always
says to win the race,
you've got to be in the race.
So think of the worst thing
the PIastics have done to you,
and knock them down.
If they're gonna play
full contact, so are we.
Fumble-rooski on two.
- Break!
- Break.
Yeah!
Yeah, Jo!
Good job, honey!
What... What's goin' on?
What... What are you doing?
- Yes!
- Touchdown!
That's not fair! She can't do that.
Can she do that?
- You girls can really play. Who knew?
- Thank you.
Damn it, we're tied.
I swear, if you Iet that psycho Jo near
me, I will end your social Iives.
- Time for D and D.
- Dirty dancing?
Yeah, Chastity, dirty dancing.
No! Down and dirty, OK?
Down and dirty.
Let's get 'em. Go!
OK, they were big, they were bad.
We were dead.
I can't see. I can't see!
- Nothing? How bad's your vision?
- I'm Iegally blind!
Number one!
Just freshening up.
Smells Iike Iavender
and ocean breeze, doesn't it?
- Oh, come on!
- Come on, girls.
Enough of this, Iet's play football!
AII right. My muscles are mush,
my Iungs are about to burst
and just Iook at us.
I agree, we're totally not gonna Iose.
- Gesundheit.
- Cover your mouth.
- Really? 'Cause they have the ball.
- We have to take a stand.
We can't Iet them score.
- Gesundheit.
- Dude, cover your mouth!
- OK, I got it.
- Jo! I did it!
- Look, he did it!
- He did what?
Yeah. Yeah.
Is that yours?
Cool, Mandi is goin' down!
I told you.
Let me see that, Iet me see that.
- Ling... Come on!
- What?
What are you waitin' for?
This is football! Come on!
Makin' everyone else do
your dirty work, Mandi?
You're still gonna Iose.
Give me the ball.
Now!
Is that Nick Zimmer?
One, two, three... hut.
No, no, no! No, no!
Come on, man, it was her idea.
Right there, Mandi! Number one!
You're not number one anymore.
But I Iove you, baby. It wasn't my idea.
Why are you handcuffing me?
- Get off me!
- I'd Iove to.
Let me go! Get off me!
That's not me!
It sure Iooks Iike it's you,
Miss Weatherly.
Are you crazy?
Do you know who I am?
I am Mandi Weatherly!
My mother will sue you!
How dare you touch me!
She'II sue all of you!
Let me out of here!
I'II have you fired!
I'm so sorry for
the misunderstanding, Jo.
Consider yourself
officially un-expelled.
And I'II make some calls
and sort things out college-wise.
Yeah!
I figured at this point,
I might as well go for the whole
high school experience.
AII right,
quiet down, everybody. Quiet.
Stop your dancing, stop your fun.
Stop it right now.
Quiet down.
Quieter. Good.
Well, you should all
be very happy to know
that we raised $6,800 for
the Humane Society, huh?
AII right, forget it.
I know the announcement
you guys really care about,
so Iet's get to it.
The Homecoming King is...
-...EIIiot Gold?
- My God, it's you!
- EIIiot Gold.
- Go!
Wow. EIIiot really is going to rig
the presidential election
someday, isn't he?
Yep. Just as soon as
the voting goes hi-tech.
Congratulations.
- Thank you.
- Sure.
And your Homecoming Queen...
...Abby Hanover.
Oh, my God!
I've never won anything!
Go! You won, go!
Yeah, Abby!
You won! That's so awesome!
- That crown is mine! It's mine!
- Get 'em out of here!
No, don't reach for me!
Get out of here! You're not
allowed on school grounds!
- Get off me!
- Oh, I'm sorry.
A Iittle to the right.
- Give me that.
- I'm Iegally blind.
There.
Here's your Homecoming King
and Queen, Iet's give it up.
Make some room, Iet them
have their first dance.
You guys have a good time.
No dirty dancing, I'm watching.
I have a feeling EIIiot wasn't
the one who rigged this vote.
Well, we both know
crowns aren't my thing.
So you dropped out of the race?
Sometimes, it's not
about winning the race,
it's just about being a part of it.
Besides...
...I have enough already.
OK, well, it's not like
we all lived happily ever after.
Mandi and Nick did get
community service instead ofjail.
And her mom donated
a new library to North Shore,
so Principal Duvall let her graduate.
But she never regained her status.
Quinn took over Mandi's role
as lead Plastic.
But we had a deal: She let the
senior class end their year in peace.
She also wrote an award-winning article
on the social dynamics of mean girls.
Chastity finally looked up her name,
and joined the Abstinence Club.
And Hope finally braved her fear
of water fountains and public germs...
...only to catch
a nasty case of swine flu.
From then on, she swore
to overcome her fears, and instead,
put her trust in antibiotics
and hot doctors.
Tyler decided to go to Penn State,
which, by total coincidence, was
only a few hours away from my school.
As for me, I managed to earn
my Carnegie Mellon tuition
with Sidney's help after all.
The man could truly sell anything,
even my shop class project.
A birdhouse and security camera,
all in one.
Only $1 9.99.
Mr. Hanover even compromised
on Abby majoring in art,
so long as she went to a top college,
which worked out perfectly for me.
- So how does it Iook?
- Nice crown.
Thanks. I thought it
went with the t-shirt.
So I guess my dad was right after all.
To win the race,
you have to be in the race.
Sometimes it just takes a little girl
drama to find out who your friends are.
And, once you have that,
you can survive almost anything...
...even high school.