Mean Spirited (2022) Movie Script

1
(industrial sounds)
(whoosh)
(digital interference)
(eerie music)
(video cassette inserted)
- Andy, Come on.
(thunder booming)
(knocking)
- What?!
What do you want?!
- Uh, my cat.
We were playing in the back-
- Where?!
- He got stuck in the tree.
- I told you kids
a hundred times!
Stay away from my yard!
I can't see a damn thing.
- Yeah, we think he's hurt.
Are you seeing this?
- There ain't no cat!
- [Andrew] Run!
Oh my God, he's so mad.
- [Bryce] Andy!
- [Andrew] Bryce?
- Please, Andy, help!
Please help me!
Andy!
(door creaks)
(door creaks)
(door slams)
(footsteps)
- Did you leave the camera on?
- Ha, I'm not an idiot, Tom.
- [Tom] You ready?
- Yep.
Okay.
(exhales)
- What's up everybody?
It's the Amazing Andy back at it
again with another epic video.
As always, remember to like
and subscribe 'cause we're...
(rock music)
(Andrew giggles)
- [Narrator] Prank!
- Tom just got Mean Spirited!
(cartoony noise effects)
(metal clang, groaning)
(laughing audio effect)
- All my wonderful
Mean Spiriters,
I've got some
exciting news for you.
But first, new gear.
On the website this Friday.
(cash register dings)
(slowed down) This Friday.
Good.
Now, the main course.
Last week, I got an
email from someone
who I haven't heard
from in two years.
He's an old friend of the
channel who you know and love.
Bryce Levy.
Thunderman himself.
The gang and I are
heading to his new house
on the Poconos for a
weekend of debauchery.
(cartoon spring)
For those of you
who aren't familiar,
Bryce and I actually
started this very channel.
Before he lost weight and his
acne cleared up he was my...
Yeah, he was my best friend.
Now, he's a
sellout... and a FAKE.
Oh, you don't believe me?
See for yourselves.
- Can I actually fly through
a glass window unharmed?
Bryce Levy can't,
but Thunderman can.
- Right?
What a douche.
"Thunderman can."
Dude, who talks like that?
Seriously.
Nobody!
When you've known Bryce
as long as I have, man,
you can tell when he's
putting on a face.
I guess, what, money
can't hide everything huh?
Even in LA when there's
new faces on every corner.
Hashtag, you know,
plastic surgery!
(high-pitched) Plastic surgery!
Look, I'm gonna
get real with you.
Bryce and I have
been best friends
since...four years
old, dude, four?
Diapers, man.
(baby crying)
And now no calls, no texts.
Dude doesn't even
follow me on Insta.
(fail trumpet)
Look, it's his
loss though, right?
Because this weekend I'm
gonna get to the bottom
of why he ghosted
his friends and sold
his soul for a
ticket to Hollywood.
In honor of reaching
35,000 followers
I'm making my first
ever vlogumentary.
- [Tom] What, we are?
- Yeah.
Get ready for an
exclusive inside look
at how fame and success
corrupts your mind.
I'm calling it "The
Deterioration of Bryce and
Andrew."
With that, I'd like
to thank our Patreon
supporters for making
this channel possible.
As a reminder, all new
supporters of the channel
will get a sexy video from Tom.
- No, no.
I'm just gonna be the
one filming everything.
- Lame!
One day we'll see Tom's
freaky side come out.
I just know it.
Until then, we
are Mean Spirited.
SKRT, SKRT!
(rock jingle)
(video tape inserted)
(electronic rock music)
What you up to, Tom?
How's it going?
- Hey, I've been packing
the car for 45 minutes.
What have YOU been up to?
- [Andrew] Well, my
Hot Pocket exploded
in the microwave, Tom.
Loosen up, dude.
Seriously, try to have
some fun this weekend.
- I'm fun, I'm loose.
I'm loose ma-goose, man.
I'll be even looser after I
have a few niners tonight.
- [Andrew] What?
- Niners, like 9%?
The guy at the beer
store called them niners.
- [Andrew] Cute.
The bag come with the beers?
- Oh my gosh, it's Nikki's!
- Right, Nikki.
Tom's imaginary girlfriend.
- You're literally the only
one who hasn't met her.
- [Andrew] She's the one
responsible for plucking
my delicate little
flower, oh my God!
(alarm blaring)
One-two-three-four-five-six-seve
(bell dings)
All right folks, I think we
razzed Tom enough for now.
We out, baby!
Off to the Poconos!
(rock music)
(ding)
(brakes screech)
(easy listening music)
- [Nikki] Oh, Joey.
Tom shared that buffalo
chicken dip recipe with me.
Oh my God.
We made it every day
last week, right?
- [Tom] Mmmhhm.
- Nice.
Yeah, I just got really
high watching Cowboy Bebop
and threw half my
fridge in a crockpot.
- I love that.
You guys should turn that
into a show actually.
"Cooking With Joey."
I'm just saying, it might take
the channel to the nice level.
- Hmm.
I don't know if we'd
have time for that,
but yeah, it could be fun.
- He's intimidated.
- [Tom] So you two seem
to be hitting it off.
- Don't force it, Tom.
- [Tom] I'm not
forcing anything!
- But yes, we're
best friends now.
Right, Joey?
(cartoon spring)
- [Nikki] This is nice.
Is your friend a
doctor or something?
- [Andrew] God no,
he's a bartender.
He lives in that fucking thing.
Yo Dew!
Let's go, man!
(Andrew honks)
(beer cans spill)
- Woo baby!
Oh yeah.
What you up to?
(doors slam)
- [Andrew] What's up?
- I'm gonna literally fucking
kill someone this weekend.
Good to see you.
How you been?
Who the fuck are you?
- [Tom] Dew, this is Nikki.
My girlfriend.
- You guys are right,
he is charming.
- You two ding dongs meet
in church or something?
- [Tom] Dew, no,
for the last time,
I haven't been to
church in like a year.
I'm a heathen now, remember?
- [Dew] Oh nice.
So y'all are gonna be
boning all weekend.
- [Tom] I told you he
was gonna be like this.
Why do we even invite him?
- Hey fuck you, Tom!
It was supposed to be
a guys weekend, okay?
It's gonna be lame having
chicks around the men.
- Ow!
- [Nikki] What about Joey?
- Joey doesn't count.
She's cooler than
either of these chodes.
- [Andrew] Ew, shut
up, dude, and get in.
Let's go.
- Fucking aye, Andy.
Come on.
- Watch the shoes!
- [Dew] Okay, Jesus!
(rock music)
- Carrots make
your dick smaller!
- Tom, put your seatbelt on.
- "Yes dear."
Dew!
- Stop.
- What?
It doesn't make any sense!
We're outside!
I know you know
that I'm not perfect
Not even close, but still
I'll be the one
who hangs on this
- [Andrew] All right,
quick stop y'all.
- [Dew] Holy shit.
This place is a shithole.
(eerie sting)
(water splashing)
- [Tom] Dew, come on.
Hurry up, man.
- [Dew] No way, dude.
(Dew farts)
- [Andrew] Tom, you see this?
Look at this guy.
- [Tom] Oh my God.
Wow!
Oh wow, he can play a priest,
a cowboy, a pharaoh, or a ninja.
Okay, talk about range.
- "Marlow Bookman."
"Professionally trained actor."
"Suited for your birthday,
wedding, and FUNERAL needs."
What do you think?
Don't mind if I do, Mr. Bookman.
Thank you.
In fact, I'll take a couple.
- [Host] The Union Resort has
everything your heart desires.
From horseback
riding...to wine making.
From sleeping
in...to sleeping in.
(girl moans)
It's romantic and
full of adventure.
You only get one life.
So live yours a
little more with us.
Today.
(sensual music)
- [Nikki] That was terrifying.
- [Joey] That was amazing.
- Yeah, terrifyingly amazing.
You have such good taste, Joe.
- [Dew] Folks!
That's why you never eat
sushi from a gas station.
Unless you're a fucking champ.
- So my brothers moved
upstate a few years ago
and my sister lives
in Portland, Maine.
And they're all married
with kids which is fine,
but I'm just trying to
have a good time right now.
- Yeah, same here.
I guess that's why
we keep Tom around.
Just don't hurt him okay?
He's our delicate little flower.
(fly buzzing)
- Please please please go away.
- Please, please go away!
- [Nikki] Hey.
What's on the car?
- [Dew] Oh shit!
Check it out.
(tense music)
Nice.
- [Andrew] What is it?
- Bloody postcard.
- Let me see this.
Yeah, this wasn't me.
- [Tom] Never know
when to stop do you?
- Dude, Why would I smear
blood on my own van, man?
- [Joey] To throw us off.
- Yeah, true, but
still, I didn't do it.
I don't want it.
- That's what I love
about you, Andy.
You're stubborn.
Just like me.
- There's someone watching us.
- [Andrew] Whoa,
whoa, can we help you?
- [Tom] Stop, man!
- Fucking relax, guys!
It's the Poconos, baby!
These people are freaks.
- [Nikki] Can you stop?
You're freaking us out!
- [Joey] Crazy that didn't work.
- Let's just get out of here.
- Did you film that?
That was fucked up.
(Andrew laughs)
[Andrew] All right, let's go.
(distorted static)
- I'm telling you guys,
it was at her Sweet 16.
Her parents went to pay the bill
and she snuck her
hand down my pants.
And the rest, as
they say, is laundry.
'Cause I had to
wash my jeans after.
- Bullshit.
- Disgusting.
- You got a handjob
from Christine Rooney?
- Hell yeah, brother.
Who didn't?
- [Tom] No, he's lying.
- Oh, sorry.
Story's not clean
enough for you, Tom?
- Your stories
aren't clean enough
for the bathroom floor, okay?
- Nikki, as the newest member
to this group of bad asses.
- [Joey] Oh my fucking god. -
What is it that you do for a
living?
- I'm an actor.
- Oh.
- But during the day
I work at a law firm.
- Oh, cool, one of our
friends is an actor.
- Oh my God, no way.
- Yes, yes, he's who
we're going to see.
- Wait, are you serious?
- Yes, yes, yes.
Did Tom not tell you?
- [Joey] She's fucking
with you, dumbass.
(Nikki laughs)
- I'm sorry.
That was way too easy.
I can't believe you guys
are friends with Bryce Levy.
That guy's like a zillionaire.
- A zillionaire who wet
the bed 'til he was 13.
- Andy's just a tiny
bit jealous of course.
- Yeah, just a little.
- I'm not jealous.
Fuck off, Joey.
(phone dings)
Boom!
Ha!
Joey look at this.
One new subscriber.
Someone who follows
me for my content.
Not my six pack.
Amazing Andy ain't jealous
of shit, thank you very much.
- [Joey] Clearly.
- [Tom] You sure you're gonna be
all right this weekend, man?
- Me?
Yeah!
I'm good, baby!
I'm peachy!
- Don't worry everybody,
Andrew's peachy.
Like the time his remote
mysterious crashed
into the wall during Bryce's
MTV Movie Awards speech.
- No!
- Or the time he was
throwing tomatoes
at the Thunderman billboard
and he said he was
"sleepwalking."
- Or how about when he
uploaded that 40-minute video
of him just crying
and screaming.
"Bryceeeee!
- "Bryceeeeee!"
- "Bryceeeeee!"
- Guys, GUYS, stop!
I'm good.
- [Joey] Oh shit!
It's that creepy hotel
from the bloody postcard.
- [Nikki] Really?
How can you tell?
- [Joey] Because I
have it right here.
- Oh my God!
- [Group] (clamoring)
- Joey, that's just weird!
- Why do you have that?
- Stop, stop!
(electro-pop music)
- [Nikki] Wow!
- Let's do it.
- [Nikki] Wow wow wow.
(eerie music)
Wow.
- [Andrew] Thomas Kelly,
cameraman extraordinaire,
recovering from his harrowing
battle with Christianity.
- Get that out of
my face, come on.
- Come on, let's
do a quick intro.
- This place is sick.
- All right.
What's up, Mean Spiriters?
We've arrived at famous "actor"
Bryce Levy's monster home.
Get ready for three days
inside the belly of the beast.
- [Bryce] Please tell
me you didn't bring
your stupid camera this weekend.
- [Dew] Woo!
(thunder booming)
- Please tell me you brought
a shirt this weekend.
- It's hot out, man.
I'm fixing the plumbing.
Seriously Tom, ditch
the camera, dude.
- You won't notice, man.
It's a little vlogumentary.
- Bryce!
How are you, man?
It's been too long!
My God!
- Yeah, no, I missed you guys.
- Wow!
Look at him.
- This weekend is
gonna be amazing.
I'm gonna shower real quick
and then we'll head out.
Make yourselves at home.
- All right.
(electric zap)
- [Joey] Try not
to drool too much.
- Psh, what?
No.
He's not even my type.
Absolutely not.
- [Joey] Don't worry,
I won't tell Tom
you've got the hots
for Thunderman.
He probably does too.
- You trained every
day for six months?
It's like a washboard.
- Tom, are you good?
- Yeah, yeah, sorry.
No no, I'm just impressed.
It's impressive.
- Bryce, this
place is fantastic.
- [Bryce] Thank you.
- [Joey] I love all
the crazy Jesus stuff.
- [Tom] It's a bit
much even for me.
- Oh, guys, just a
reminder, septic is clogged.
So, number ones only.
There's an outhouse in the back.
- What about in the sink?
- [Bryce] No!
- Tom.
Let's go.
(soft fart)
(water splashing)
- I think you should
take this room.
And I...
Will take this very room.
Never mind.
(thud)
Probably a sex dungeon of sorts.
Tom, have any
thoughts about this?
- [Tom] What?
It's a locked room, who cares?
- Yeah, exactly, man.
That's why we
gotta check it out.
He's probably hiding
kinky shit in here.
- [Bryce] Yeah,
tons of kinky shit.
Same old Andy.
Can't help but pry into
everyone's business huh?
Just joshin'.
Come on, drop your shit.
Let's go grab a beer.
- [Dew] All right, before
anyone asks, I just wanted
to mention that I'll be off
my diet this weekend, okay?
I'm down 20 L-Bees.
But on Monday, back to
eating like Thunderman.
I don't know if you
noticed, but I was eating
carrots earlier
instead of chips.
- Nice.
- Hey! Another round
of piss, please!
(spits)
- This place is
interesting, Bryce.
Charming yet rustic.
- Yeah.
I mean it's a shithole,
but I love it.
- [Joey] Aren't you afraid
someone will recognize you?
- People here don't really
watch much TV honestly,
so it's kind of the
perfect place to get away.
Some peace and quiet.
- Gosh Bryce, when's the last
time we even saw you, man?
I feel like it's been forever.
- It was probably
Oktoberfest two years ago.
Right before Bryce fell
off the face of the Earth.
- Sorry, Andy.
Maybe they can reschedule
the Emmys next year.
- Well maybe they can.
I don't know.
- Yeah, totally.
- No, yeah, look, I'm sorry.
I know I've been a
bit of a flake lately.
It just feels like
I'm barely living
my own life these days honestly.
- Oh yeah, sure.
- You've been busy.
- I mean it's understandable.
- Yeah.
- But that being
said, that is why
I bought a house
so close to home.
So I can reconnect with
all my old friends.
- Aw, you miss us that much huh?
- Just you, Andy.
I came back just for you.
- [Nikki] Aww, so cute!
- So gay.
- [Tom] Don't say that, Dew.
- It's fine to say.
(glasses spill)
You do that on
purpose, tough guy?
- [Tom] Dude!
- You should go back to
Jersey, you trash tourists.
- Hey, Jersey?
This is America, motherfucker!
This is not how you treat
a veteran of the Iraq War!
Fuck off, Tom.
- Hey hey hey, okay.
I think it was just
an accident, right?
- Yeah.
An accident.
- Awesome.
You're good man, come on.
Have a seat.
All right, moving on.
Cheers, everybody.
To a weekend full of adventure.
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
- Another round, butterfingers!
(tense music)
- Shoot.
- What's up?
- Do you have any
shoes in that bag?
Did I pack my hiking
boots in here?
- Let's see, I don't know...
Whoa, what the hell is this?
- It's old.
My mom probably
stuck it in there.
It's...
She thinks Andy's a
bad influence, so.
- Whoa.
Looks like mom was right.
- Crap.
Uh, I didn't mean anything.
I just thought, you know...
- You just thought
what, that we'd have sex
and then you'd just show
off to all your friends?
- No, no, no no no no no.
Not at all.
I just, I meant like...
- I'm kidding.
I think it's cute
you thought ahead.
We'll see.
- Okay.
We'll see.
- Yeah.
I don't want your friends
to hear us or whatever.
- Hear us?
Oh.
Oh yeah, hear us, yeah.
Well, don't worry about them.
They're all extremely mature.
(phone rings)
- [Christine] Hello?
- Christine, yeah, hi.
It's Dew and Andy
from Watchung Hills.
Was just hoping you
could settle something.
Did you give me a...
handjob at your Sweet 16?
Christine?
- [Christine] Grow up, Dew.
- She didn't say no!
- You are so pathetic, dude.
Seriously, you're
fucking disgusting.
- Oh my God, you and I are like
the exact same person, Andy.
- [Joey] After the fire, they
searched the place for hours
and ended up finding 10 bodies
lining the walls of the hotel.
With all of their hands missing.
- [Nikki] Oh gross.
Who would want someone's hands?
- Nobody knows.
But I just imagine
there's some guy
somewhere with a closet.
Full of hands!
- Jesus.
- I got you.
- Did you mean to
hide your hands?
- I don't know.
- Tom, let me film something.
- [Tom] What?
No, you literally have peanut
butter on your fingers.
- I'll be careful.
- [Tom] No, you don't
have that capability.
- At least wash your hands.
- Sorry, sorry.
I ran next door
to grab some wood.
My neighbors always
have a huge pile.
- Okay, can we do this already?
I'm starting to fade.
- Do what?
- An abomination.
The scariest, most evil
thing man has ever created.
(tense music)
Ouija.
It's Ouija.
(woman screaming)
(demonic vocals)
- Hands in the middle.
Will we have a yummy
dinner tonight?
(sarcastic oohing)
- Oh wow.
Good question, Tom.
Uh, has Tom ever had sex?
Uh-oh!
Uh-oh!
Shit, dude.
- Sorry, Nikki.
- I got one.
- Who here lied about getting
a handjob at a Sweet 16?
- Ooh!
- That's not me.
We called, it's...
Okay, fuck this.
This is bullshit.
Whatever.
- Hey Bryce, you want
to ask something?
- No, you know that I don't.
That's probably why you
chose to play this game.
- Whoa, holey moley.
Are you seeing this?
- Joe, you messing
with the board, dude?
- Obviously not.
- Ouija board, who
here controls you?
- Andy.
Stop, dude.
- Is Bryce hiding something?
- Fucking stop.
- Is he even our friend anymore?
- Andy, seriously.
Fucking stop.
- Did he ditch us all to join
a crazy Hollywood sex cult?
- I said fucking stop!
(glass shatters)
- Dude, what is
your problem, man?
- You, fuckface.
- Dude, it was a fucking
prank, Thunderman!
- Now's my chance.
I gotta take a shit.
Don't tell Bryce.
- No no no no, dude dude dude!
I swear if you break it
I will break your face!
(western guitar)
- A ranger out in the open.
A stone cold killer.
Ba-Da-Da
Dun-dun-dun-dun, DUNNNN!
(mouth bullets)
- And then Andy, just put in
some badass gunshots
or something.
Oh shit.
Fuck.
Jesus.
(toilet flushes)
Come on, baby.
Come on, baby.
Come on, baby, yeah!
It flushed.
Thank you, Jesus!
Fuck.
(tense music)
- [Dew] What the fuck?
Hey Bryce?
Bryce?
Bryce, I went to pee and
a little doody came out.
It flushed though,
so no big deal.
- [Andrew] We were just
screwing around, dude.
He's gotta learn to take a joke.
- Maybe, but I mean you're
kind of being a prick, dude.
Okay?
Just try to chill out.
- I'm gonna grab a beer.
You want one?
- Nah.
- [Dew] What the fuck?
(eerie music)
(Dew breathing heavy)
(dramatic sting)
Oh my God!
(distorted music)
(video tape inserting)
- End of an era.
Any last words?
- [Andrew] Are
you serious, dude?
You're leaving right
now and you didn't feel
the need to tell your
best fucking friend, man?
- [Bryce] Well I'm
telling you right now.
- So what, the
channel can just rot?
Can you stop filming me, dude?
- [Bryce] I know what it's like.
Your worst moment
seen on camera.
I figured you'd want
the footage, no?
Here you go, come on.
Erase it if you want.
We both know you won't though.
(engine revs)
Thunderman out.
(distant heavy breathing)
(video tape ejecting)
(electronic rock music)
- [Marlow] Out of curiosity,
how did you hear about my work?
- [Andrew] Yeah,
just from a flyer.
- [Marlow] Right right right.
How many outfits will you need?
- [Andrew] So just the priest
outfit actually because
we're recreating an exorcism
scene for a vlogumentary.
- [Marlow] I love
a good exorcism.
Oh this is fantastic.
You know, I was doing
this show last summer,
Shakespeare in the park,
and it was interrupted by-
- See you tomorrow night!
Fucking loser.
Okay, yeah.
Oh shit, editor's
note, cut the call.
And start it here.
What's up guys?
Coming in hot!
Bryce Levy's house, day two.
Last night was good.
As you can see, Bryce
clearly has some issues.
(glass shatters)
Whoa, dude!
I wasn't able to get all the
answers I was looking for.
Must be all that Thunderman
armor he's got built up.
But today's a new day.
Now lightning may
strike first, but Bryce-
- What are you doing?
- Just jogging.
Jogging, doing a vlog.
You good?
- Yeah.
Sorry for snapping
at you last night.
- It's fine, we were
drinking a lot and...
You heading out or something?
- What?
- You heading out?
- Yeah, I'm gonna go
run and grab some eggs.
Can't believe we ran out.
- Huh.
Weird.
Breakfast of champions.
Right here.
(egg cracks)
- Wha...
Aww, why?
- (Scottish accent)
This young lassie here
has a big day ahead of her.
She's gonna need the strength.
- Oh my God!
Oh God, what is it?
Andy you motherfucking piece
of shit, I'm gonna kill you!
- He's a big boy.
Which means he needs
twice the protein.
(techno music)
(Andy laughs)
Oh my God.
- Good morning, Andrew.
Did I miss breakfast?
- So the story is I was at
the mall with my friend.
I was looking for a new perfume.
And Tom-
- And I was buying new Ray-Bans.
I wanted to utilize
my 5% cash back.
- You live quite the life, Tom.
- Thank you, thank you.
- God I was fucked
up last night!
Hope no one took advantage
of me, right Tom?
- Yeah.
- Are you inferring
Tom assaulted you?
- Yeah.
- That's offensive.
- Don't worry about him.
Are you okay, man?
We heard some weird
noises last night
like you were laughing
over and over again.
- I don't fucking know,
Tom, because I was
blacked out 'cause I'm
not a fucking pussy.
Jo, can you pass the eggs?
- We're heading out
soon dude, so eat quick.
- Andy, I will do
my Tae Bo workout
and then I will be ready to go.
Diet's off, but I've gotta
keep these babies toned!
- Oh my...
- Jesus.
- [Tom] Dude.
- Tae Bo, baby.
- Morning, morning!
- Morning.
We're leaving in 30 minutes,
so pack a swimsuit will you?
- Okay, buddy.
I'm gonna shower real quick
if that's okay with you.
Okay?
Thunderman out.
See you guys soon.
- All right.
- Hey, are you guys
good after last night?
- Yeah, baby.
We're peachy.
We're fine.
- Just take it easy
this week, okay?
- Yeah, no more egg pranks.
I still have that
nasty goo on me.
(Dew laughs)
- Nice.
- See, Dew thought
it was hilarious.
- What was hilarious?
- The eggs.
They're mad about the eggs.
Didn't you think it was funny?
(Dew laughs)
(indie rock music)
Be my, be my airplane
Be my, be my lost control
- There's this little
banquet hall inside
that burned down
during a wedding.
And now it's haunted
by the bride and groom.
- Wait, I don't get it.
Why are you so obsessed with
sneaking into haunted places?
- [Joey] Because it's "romantic
and full of adventure."
- [Nikki] (laughs) Like
the guy in the video!
That's funny, Jo.
- Yo Tom!
Let me get some shots
for the hiking montage.
You know, like fast music,
throwing leaves, come on.
Excuse me, excuse me,
beep beep, beep beep!
Yeah, like fast music,
throwing leaves,
doing shit like that.
Maybe in slow-mo or
widescreen bars or something?
I don't know.
Montage, baby!
(electro-pop music)
MONTAGE!
(yelling)
Yeah!
Fuck, they're in the trees!
(gun noises)
Nah.
- [Narrator] Wow!
Sick montage!
- Good?
That was good, right?
Come on.
Move it!
- [Nikki] Nice cartwheel, man.
- Thank you.
Good.
And ooh, too cool
for school over here?
What's going on, dude?
- Sorry, I didn't mean
to ruin your epic video.
- Oh, well that's
impossible 'cause actually
you weren't in the video, so.
- Oh yeah, wait, how's living
with your parents again?
- It's pretty good to me.
I don't know, it's
pretty fucking good.
- Yeah, cool.
- Yeah, cool bro!
- Cool!
- Cool!
- [Tom] Peachy, huh?
- Eat my ass, dude.
(techno music)
- [Andrew] Bryce!
- Woo!
- [Andrew] Wasn't
set up yet, dude!
- Dude, don't even
get near me, dude.
Don't even, don't.
- Tommmm
I'm not, I won't.
- I'm serious.
- [Joey] Leave him alone, Dew.
- Come on, I'm just
trying to help him.
- I'm fine.
- He's fine.
- I'm fine, I'm fine.
- He's gonna jump
down and be with Nikki
and her new boyfriend Bryce.
- Shut up!
Everybody just shut up!
- [Dew] Woo baby!
(big splash)
- Fun day at the falls with our
friends vinegar and antacid.
(fish slap)
- Woo!
- [Bryce] Coming Tom?
- [Joey] Andy,
what are you doing?
- Whoa!
(splash)
- Hey Tom, you nailed
that landing, man.
- Okay, Dew, can you give
him some space please?
- [Joey] What the hell happened?
Andrew snuck up on me.
I missed the whole thing.
- Andy, you do this?
One of your stupid
fucking pranks?
- No, dude.
Okay?
I was trying to
scare him, but I-
- What?
The Amazing Andy
couldn't help himself
and almost gets his
best friend killed.
Got it.
Cool.
(whimpering)
- I was up there.
On the edge and...
It was like...
It felt like something
was pulling me.
Did you see anything?
Anybody?
- I didn't see shit, dude.
- Let's just head back, okay?
- Whoa whoa whoa
whoa, we're still
gonna see The
Union though right?
- [Joey] Hell yeah we are.
- Tom literally
almost just died.
- I'm good.
I'm good.
- Boom, see?
He's fine.
- Guys, it'll be worth it.
I promise.
- [Bryce] It's actually the
only resort still standing.
Probably because
it's so haunted.
Right Jo?
- I mean The Poconos used to be
the "Honeymoon
Capital of the World."
Now it's more like
the Divorce Capital
of the World, am I right?
- Not your best, Joe.
- I thought it was clever.
- They tried to build
a bunch of casinos
to get all the tourists back.
But they all burnt
down within one year.
The townies call it
"The Great Fire."
- So the townies definitely
burnt those casinos down, right?
- Yeah, maybe.
I mean the townies
definitely blame
the tourists for
ruining their homes.
I think some people just
can't deal with change.
- [Andrew] Perfect.
- Always ruining
the moment, Andy.
- [Andrew] Fuck off.
Thought it was cool.
- Shall we?
- [Joey] Yo!
(techno-pop music)
- Hey Nikki!
Found some dinner!
- Oh my God!
- [Host] It's romantic and fun.
- Look at this fucking place.
Tom, this is like exactly
how you described
your dream wedding.
- Shut up, Dew.
- [Joey] Can you imagine
getting married here?
It's like the freakin'
Twilight Zone.
- Check it out.
Wow.
Hey Tom!
Go long!
- Jeez, what the...
- What the fuck, Dew?
- Heck, Dew?
- Calm down.
- You could've given me
hepatitis or something.
What's wrong with you?
- You can't catch
hep when you're
saving yourself for Jesus, Tom.
- I told you I'm
not saving myself-
- Guys, come check this out!
- It's okay.
- [Andrew] Holy shit
this is a gold mine.
- Bryce, I'm bunking
in here tonight.
- [Andrew] Aw Joey.
(goofy babbling)
- Ooh.
- [Nikki] Oh my God.
Andy, don't touch those.
- [Andrew] I'm just
trying to get the shots.
- Oh yeah, he's just trying
to get the super cool shot.
(Andrew blows raspberries)
- Still warm.
- [Joey] Wait, seriously?
- No.
Would've been cool though.
- (sarcastic)
Yeah, totally cool.
Can we please go now?
- [Andrew] Let's keep moving.
Hey Tom, can you take
this camera back?
- Yeah.
(eerie static)
- [Tom] Oh my gosh.
Whoa.
- Yo, make sure you get
a shot of that mirror.
Ha!
Creepy.
Oh my God, guys guys guys.
What do you think it means?
Nikki?
- I don't care.
I'm leaving.
- Come on dude, seriously?
Dude, it was probably
kids or something.
Come on.
- Come on, there's
a whole other floor
we still haven't seen yet.
- If you want to
stay and get stabbed
by townies, Andrew, be my guest.
- Hey, let's just go back.
We can drink some
niners, we can relax.
- You guys are acting
like babies right now.
Let's at least see the gym!
- Did you not see the blood?
- Guys, come on,
okay, Andrew's right.
Let's just cancel
all of our plans
and we can do whatever he wants.
- Aw you're such
a nice guy, Bryce.
You got them all
fooled don't you?
- [Tom] Hey, come on guys.
- Oh you're mad now?
You're gonna cry and throw
your beer again, B-B-Bryce?
(thud)
(Nikki screams)
- Get it off of me!
- [Dew] Calm down, calm down!
Everyone calm down!
(eerie music)
He's dead.
- [Nikki] I'm gonna be sick.
(static)
(car door slams)
- [Tom] Hey, you okay?
- I want to go home.
- Yeah, I mean I wish
that we could, you know?
But we all drove here together.
I mean everyone
would have to leave.
- Or we could leave and
they could find another way.
- Well I can ask.
But it's late, maybe we
should try in the morning?
Oh shoot.
- All right, fuck
me, let's do it.
(clears throat) Okay.
What's up everybody,
it's Amazing Andy.
Back at it again
sitting in an outhouse.
It's kind of symbolic of how
this entire weekend is going.
(sighs) Fuck me, that's stupid.
All right.
What's up everybody,
it's Amazing Andy here.
I'm in an outhouse,
but I'm not using it.
As you can see.
(fart noise)
Look, I'm keeping things off
social for the time being.
But trust me, you guys are gonna
blow your minds when
you see this shit.
Bryce, if you see this.
Which you won't
'cause you don't even
fucking follow me, dude.
(loud rustling)
Someone there?
Hello?
(sighs) You got this, dude.
You deserve this.
You fucking deserve this.
(eerie music)
- [Bryce] Tom, you
think Nikki wants any?
- Oh, uh, maybe.
I'll go check.
- [Bryce] Yeah, sounds good.
- [Joey] Oh this
is gonna be good.
- What were you
doing in my room?
- Nikki asked for
some melatonin.
And now she's knocked out.
Chill out, dude.
- Let's forget about the fucking
dead body for a
second Bryce, right?
In the past 36 hours
we still had, hello!
In the past 36 hours,
a creepy bartender who
tried to fight Dew.
Tom, falling off a
fucking waterfall.
Which wasn't creepy,
but still hilarious.
And a bloody note from
the visitor center.
- Bloody note?
- Yeah, there was a gross
bloody note on the van
on the way here and a
goat dude staring at us.
Remember that guy?
Which was fucking weird.
- Okay, so a few weird
things happened to us.
- A few weird things?
Dude, Nikki was
tackled by a corpse.
- Lucky bitch.
- Andy's just butthurt
'cause Bryce kicked his ass!
- Shut up, Dew.
Fuck you.
- Okay okay, enough.
All right?
Enough.
I'm trying to be a good host.
But no offense, Tom,
you fell off a cliff.
We ventured into
a dangerous hotel.
And Andy, you're
a terrible driver.
Okay?
You guys are making something
out of absolutely nothing.
- Then explain the bloody note.
- I can't, I wasn't there.
You probably did it as one of
your stupid fucking pranks.
- Yeah, dude,
honestly I wish I did
'cause it was fucking amazing.
- Okay.
So.
We good?
Tom?
- Oh yeah, I'm good.
I think I just need to
relax tonight, you know?
- I've got an idea.
Tom!
Run!
- [Dew] Run, Tom!
You pussy!
- Now you gotta go
to the graveyard.
- Oh God, thanks Jo.
Super relaxing game.
- We can play bible
trivia next time.
- Oh yeah, you'll
lose that for sure.
- What do I dO?
- Okay, Dew.
You're locked in the
killer's basement.
Lose two health while
you pee your pants.
- That means you take a shot.
- All right, done.
- Just a shot.
- Jesus Christ.
(Dew burps)
- [Andrew] You good, dude?
- Shh shh shh shh.
- Dude, what are you doing?
- I'm peeing.
- [Andrew] No, stop, stop!
You don't have to
actually do that.
- All right, all right, my turn.
Here we go.
This one's for you, Andy.
- You're trapped
in a strange house
reading from a locked box.
(speaking latin)
- [Joey] You banish
the demons away.
Move ahead three spaces.
- Guess I'm just lucky.
- Shocker.
(blood-curdling scream)
(tense music)
- [Joey] What the fuck?
- [Tom] Are you okay?
- [Joey] Where is she going?
- [Tom] Nikki?
- You ever crave a cookie and
you just need that cookie?
So you go get the cookie.
But it doesn't satisfy you,
it just keeps you wanting
more and more and more.
Don't even think about it, Tom.
- Think about what?
- We are not having sex tonight.
(Dew laughs)
- What the fuck
did you give her?
- [Dew] It's supposed
to be melatonin.
- [Tom] Nikki wait,
where are you going?
Hey.
Hey hey-
- Take your filthy paws off me!
- Blue is melatonin.
Purple is Adderall.
Red is...
Fuck, what's red?
- Give me one of the reds.
- Fuck off.
- This turned out to be
quite the interesting night.
- Right up your alley huh?
- I'm torn.
This is hilarious,
but I hope she's okay.
- I'm sure she'll be fine.
She'll be fine.
If she passes out
in a port-a-potty
at a Kid Rock concert
then you can worry.
Jesus!
- [Andrew] Whoa whoa whoa whoa!
(glass breaks)
(static noise)
- Tom you owe me
a new lens, dude.
Luckily we didn't lose the
footage or I'd kill the bitch.
Kidding.
Cut that, don't cancel me.
(clicks)
(screaming)
(replays screaming)
Holy shit.
(eerie music)
Oh God.
Dew has superpowers?
(snort laughs)
Fuck me I'm drunk.
Aw fuck!
Yo, Bryce?
Where are the towels?
Bryce.
(door creaking)
Hello?
(eerie music)
Bryce.
Holy shit.
God, dude.
Bryce, what are you doing?
(eerie music crescendos)
(video tape inserted)
(Young Bryce muffled screaming)
- [Old Man] October 6th.
Transference of power.
Number 11.
Shh!
Quiet boy!
Listen to me!
10 boys have sat where
you're sitting right now.
You see that camera?
(demonic voice) Huh?
It sees you, I'm
giving you a gift.
And you deserve it.
(speaking Latin)
(demonic growling)
(video tape ejects)
(electronic rock music)
- I set out on this trip
to get some answers.
About why Bryce and I
stopped being friends.
I found the answer.
Just not the one I wanted.
I wish I could say
my work here is done.
But it's only just begun.
Ugh, that was so fucking stupid.
Bryce Levy is a demon.
At least I think he is.
This morning I contemplated
taking the van and just leaving.
But I'm not that shitty
of a friend am I?
No.
In fact, I'm a great friend.
If we're gonna get
the old Bryce back
we've gotta destroy the new one.
Day three.
"The Fall of Thunderman."
(thunder booming)
Yeah.
(tense music)
- [Bryce] Andrew.
- [Andrew] Jesus!
You scared me.
- Sorry.
Come on.
Breakfast is on the patio.
- [Andrew] Cool, yeah,
I'll tell the group.
- Let them sleep.
We should talk.
- [Andrew] Oh my God.
- You know, the best moments
are the moments that
happen off camera.
- Totally.
But in case that
psycho from Joey's game
cuts my head off I'll
have proof, right?
- Assuming that
psycho would upload
your murder to the internet.
- If the footage
is good, why not?
- We'll see.
(Bryce chuckles)
Eat up, come on.
It's hot.
- Yeah, thank you.
Did you pray?
- Yeah.
- To God?
(Bryce laughs)
- You ever think about
people from high school?
- I try not to.
- Do you remember Katie Perkins?
Senior year?
She had those bangs.
- Yeah, love Katie.
- Yeah.
I've been thinking
about her a lot lately.
We used to go on trips
like this together.
- That's kind of weird isn't it?
- Yeah.
Just, I guess it felt
incomplete how we left things.
So I reached out.
She's a mom now.
Three kids, a husband.
She sounded really happy.
- Good for her, good.
- I wonder if that would've
been me though, you know?
If I didn't move away.
She moved on without me
and didn't miss a beat.
Like I meant nothing.
- Yeah, feels awful doesn't it?
- Yeah.
It does.
(Andrew laughs)
What?
- I didn't think you cared
about anything from high school.
So I guess the old you
is still in there, huh?
- Bryce cares.
Thunderman can't.
- So, I don't know, which
one am I talking to?
(tense music)
(thud)
- [Dew] Woohoo!
- Holy shit.
- Hell yeah.
- [Bryce] Tada!
- OHHH!!!
Fuck yes!
(laughs)
What?
I love weapons.
- All right, 10 throws each.
Whoever hits the
most targets wins.
- I'm gonna sit this one out.
There's a little too much
testosterone out here for me.
- If we're going to be
competitively axe throwing,
Andy and I need to be drunk.
- No.
No dude, stop including me.
We're not on a fucking team.
- God, it's 10 AM.
- (mocking) "It's 10 AM!"
It's fucking Saturday, Tommy!
Grow some chest pubes.
- Don't listen to him, Tom.
Chest hair's gross.
And it's Sunday, dumbass.
- The Lord's day, right Bryce?
- I guess I'm going to Hell.
- [Tom] Whoa!
(rock music)
- Careful Jo.
- Woo!
- Fuck yeah.
- [Tom] Nikki are you sure
you're okay after last night?
- Never been better.
(thud)
- [Andrew] Whoa!
- [Dew] Woo!
- Fuck yeah!
Suck on that, bitches!
- [Joey] Damn Nikki,
that was awesome!
- [Nikki] I know.
- Bryce, get out of the way.
I'm gonna do it over the head.
Ooh, ooh!
(clang)
- [Bryce] Dew, you suck, man.
- Ugh!
Sorry, Bryce.
(Tom laughs)
Tom, you got something
to fucking say?
- No no.
No, I just have allergies.
- Oh allergies?
Little bitch, come here.
What's the problem?
You're such a little bitch, Tom.
- I'll show you who's a little-
- Ooh!
Let's go, bud!
Let's go right now!
Fucking say it!
- Move, move.
Take this, Andy.
This one's for you.
- Hey Andy.
Hey.
Get this on YouTube, okay?
Tom's a little bitch.
- Hey, watch and learn.
Watch and learn, baby.
(loud splat)
- [Dew] (laughs) What
a fucking idiot, dude.
He can't even throw an
axe the right way, okay?
- Oh my God!
- [Andrew] Dude, dude, dude!
- What?
What?
Is my ass hanging out?
- Dew, sit still.
This is so awesome.
- [Tom] So gross.
- Dude, keep the
camera on it, man.
Joey, you sure you
know what you're doing?
- No, but nobody
else stepped up.
And plus Dew would
tell me if I hurt him.
- Yeah, the guy who
didn't feel an axe
puncturing his back with,
oh God, I looked again.
- I don't feel anything, Tom.
It's fine.
- Should we just get
him to a hospital?
- And say what?
We were drunkenly throwing
axes at each other all day?
Nah. I'm good.
- What are you afraid of, dude?
It was an accident.
We'll say he slipped
on it or something.
- This can't be sanitary.
- [Dew] Here, how about this?
(beer spills)
- [Group] Ooh!
- Dew, stop!
- [Andrew] Dude!
(Dew vomiting)
- [Joey] I really hope
that's just vomit.
- You guys don't think Dew's
been acting strange
this weekend?
- No dude, he drank too much.
He literally
shotgunned 11 beers.
- I know, but
something feels off.
Giving Nikki weird
drugs, the axe.
I get that we're light and
loose, we're having fun,
but someone could
seriously get hurt.
- Well he gets this
way around girls, dude.
He wanted a guys
weekend remember?
- Bryce, back me up.
Come on.
- Yeah, I mean I would say Dew's
a pretty weird
guy to begin with.
But everyone has their demons.
Look at Nikki.
I need to run into town and
grab some lighter fluid.
You guys want to grab some subs?
Andrew?
- Yeah, I'd love a
meatball sub, thanks.
- No man, do you
want to come with?
I could use a
second set of hands.
- I'm going through the...
Joey and I are going through
the footage, so I can't come.
Sorry.
- I'll go.
Get away from Dew.
- That's perfect.
Yeah, have fun, do it.
- Andrew, you can
look at the footage
when you get home, man.
It's our last day.
- [Joey] Yeah, we can
look at footage later.
I'll stay and hang
with the freaks.
- Hey.
Sounds like a plan.
- Yeah, let's do it.
- Let's do it.
- Great, okay.
- [Bryce] Cool.
(tense music)
- [Tom] I wonder what
they're talking about.
- Probably laughing
more about you.
Been calling you
soft all morning
ever since your
tumble off the cliff.
- [Tom] Wait, seriously?
God he's such a freakin'...
- Such a freakin' what?
Say it.
Come on.
- [Tom] No, nothing.
Never mind.
Never mind.
Hey!
What was that about?
- It's a secret.
Why?
What are you guys talking about?
- It's a secret.
(tense music)
- Woo!
We're on a boat!
What do you say, Andy?
- Good, I'm good.
- [Joey] Uh, what are you doing?
- [Dew] Me?
I was bird watching.
- I didn't know you
were into birds.
- [Dew] I love birds.
- Okay.
I'm gonna take the
camera back now.
If that's okay.
- [Dew] Of course.
- Fucking creep.
There's definitely
something wrong with him.
- Dude, I'm telling
you the truth.
You gotta listen to me.
- [Tom] You are completely
out of your mind.
- Well then explain the goat
mask or the severed hands.
- [Tom] I thought
it was a deer mask.
- Doesn't fucking matter what
kind of mask it was, man.
Look over there
for a second, look.
He's talking to
that weird freak.
Probably paying him
money to fucking
come over and chop our
bodies up later, dude.
- [Tom] (sarcastic) Yeah,
and there's probably
a severed head in that bag too.
- Bryce is not the standup
guy you think he is.
See?
- Rolling rolling.
All right, Andy.
What crazy footage couldn't
wait 'til tomorrow?
(clicking)
(clicking)
(screaming)
(tense music)
Oh shit!
Dew.
(whispers) Oh shit.
Dew.
(Nikki knocks)
- [Nikki] It's Nikki,
can you open up?
- I'm kind of in the
middle of something.
What is it?
- [Nikki] I finished
my magazine.
I want to grab another
from my suitcase.
- Your suitcase is empty.
There's nothing in there.
Sorry.
(loud bang)
- [Nikki] Oh, no worries.
(door knob rattles)
(demonic voice)
Pretentious bitch.
- (whispers) Fuck.
(Dew tapping)
- Jo!
I left something in there!
Can you open up?
Or can you get it
for me at least?
- Yeah, here you go!
(whispers) What the fuck?
- You think he's a demon?
- Yes, dude, yes.
Or a spirit or fucking
possessed or something.
- You're full of crap.
- Dude, I will show you when we
get back to the
fucking house, man.
In the locked room.
Also, dude, please say shit.
You're saying crap and
it's fucking weird.
You're like a dad
replacing shit with sugar.
- Why do you care?
- You're just stressing me
out, you're wound up, okay?
If you let it out every once
in a while you'd feel better.
- If anyone here's
wound up it's you.
You're the one who thinks
that our friend is
trying to kill us.
- Dude.
- Hey guys.
What are you guys talking about?
It's like a library.
- Well Andrew here thinks
that you're a-- OW!
- I think you're a really
talented actor, man.
Fucking, yeah.
- Thank you, Andrew.
Means a lot, man.
- Yeah.
- Sorry, they were
out of meatball.
Whoops.
Sorry buddy.
- Sugar.
(phone rings)
- [911 Operator] 911
what's your emergency?
(tense music)
- Thunderman out!
Come on Andrew,
lighten up, dude!
It's a boat ride!
Supposed to be fucking fun, man!
- Yeah, I'm having fun.
- You'll have fun
later, I promise.
Have a nice fire.
What the hell's going on here?
- [Tom] I hope everyone's okay.
- Here you go, Tom.
- Started a drinking game, okay?
- [Joey] Check
your phone asshole.
Yeah you, dumbass.
- That's classic.
That's classic.
I'm gonna charge my phone, dude.
- [Pat] How you boys doing?
- Good, good, what's going on?
- Joey got locked in her
room, we tried to get her out.
Couldn't.
Called Officer Pat here.
Listen, you're
gonna be right back.
Not worth breaking the glass.
- You boys need anything
you know where to find me.
- Sounds good, yeah.
- Thank you, officer.
- Fucking pigs.
- Tom get the fucking
camera out of my face.
- Sorry.
(tense music)
(Andrew knocks)
- [Andrew] Joey open up.
- Are you alone?
And are you also
acting fucking crazy?
- Yes and no.
You good?
- Yes.
- Okay, where we at?
(tense music)
- [Tom] Oops, zoom
button's stuck.
There we go, hey!
What are you guys doing?
- [Bryce] Nothing.
Just waiting.
- [Tom] Okay.
Do you mind if I start?
- [Bryce] Go for it.
- [Tom] Alright.
Banana peppers all day, people.
All day, that's what
I'm talking about.
Hey, who's with me?
Banana peppers team huh?
Guys?
- What should we call it?
- Hollywood's Bryce Levy
is Secretly a Demon.
Live Possession,
Near Death Footage,
10,000 Foot Drop, and
Fortnite Cheat Codes.
- All of that?
Really?
- Yes.
- Okay done.
Uploading.
(floorboards creaking)
(tense music)
(more creaking)
I'm done.
The minute they're
asleep I'm out.
- What about Tom?
- If you want to risk your
life for Tom, that's on you,
but I'm getting the
fuck out of here.
- Wait wait wait wait,
have you seen the van keys?
- I think they're
in the basement.
- Shit.
- [Tom] Some gorgeous
B-roll shots for you, Andy.
You will thank me
later, I promise.
I mean this place is
just so beautiful.
The sunset, trees.
And Bryce the chef.
I mean what can't
this guy do huh?
What a guy.
(Tom chuckles)
What...
A guy.
(booming noise)
(police radio chatter)
- [Pat] Officer Pat here.
Pulling back up
to the house now.
Hey bud, sorry to drop in again!
Just gotta do a quick sweep
of the house if that's okay.
- You forget something?
- [Pat] Nah, just
following protocol.
- Of course, of course.
Let me show you.
- [Pat] I appreciate it.
I'm sure you boys are fine.
It's just...
Wait, wait, STOP!
(chair squeaking)
- Would you stop for a second?
(sighs) Shit, it's 42%.
Fuck me.
All right.
I'm gonna make a break
for the van keys.
Watch out.
Keep this window locked.
And trust nobody
but me, alright?
- I trust no one
outside of this room.
- Good.
Fuck.
Ow, fuck!
See you in a minute.
(chair squeaking)
- I saw you through the window.
- It was nothing.
- It didn't look like nothing.
- She was just
helping me cook, Tom.
- With your shoulders?
(plate shatters)
Whoa!
- Yeah.
With my shoulders.
- Uh.
Okay.
Oh, Nikki.
I saved you a seat.
Next to me.
- You're such a good little boy!
- The happy couple.
(Dew grunts)
(eerie music)
(bag dragging)
(sighs)
(Nikki laughs)
- Okay, I think I'm
gonna head to bed.
I'm just not really hungry.
- Aww.
- Aww.
- Tom, you can rest
when you're dead.
Okay?
Hey Nick, could you
keep our boy here
distracted while I
go start the fire?
- Absolutely.
(bag dragging)
- Dew?
Dew what are you...
Dew, you're leaking
all over the-
- Oh Tommy, you're
so easily distracted.
- Sixty...three...percent.
(slow tapping)
- Andrew?
- ["Andrew"] Joey?
Open up quick
before someone sees!
- Shut the fuck up
or they'll hear you.
- I think you're right.
Maybe we should head to bed.
(faint bang)
- You hear that?
Who is it?
Is that Andrew?
What's he doing?
What's going on?
What's he doing?
- Andrew?
(inhuman scream)
- [Tom] What was that?
- You're so easily distracted.
(suspense music)
(creepy music)
(clicks)
- Oopsies.
- [Tom] (distant) Oh
my God, oh my God!
- Oh my God.
- Oh my God!
Oh my...
Oh my God, I've never noticed
how dark your eyes are.
Ow!
Do that again.
Ow!
Oh God!
Oh my...
(fading) No...
- Ow, fuck.
- What took you so long?
- I got the keys.
- Tom and Nikki are fucking.
(distant moaning)
- Heh, okay.
Where we at?
- It's finished.
- It's done?
Did it post?
- You're gonna be
famous, sweetie.
- Great.
Let's grab Tom and get
the fuck out of here.
- No, if we go now they'll know.
They're all over the place.
Let's just go downstairs,
get them liquored up,
wait for them to fall asleep,
and then make a break for it.
Can you handle that?
- Andrew can't.
But the Amazing Andy can.
Game over, bitch.
(keys jingle)
- Oh baby, things
are heating up!
That's what I'm talking about!
Hey, where is she?
There she is!
Hey, this my girl right here!
Hey, it's last night in town
everybody, let's turn up!
- Woo!
- Let's, ooh.
- What?
- Got a little
reflux or something.
Is that normal after-
- Yo, let's get turn up y'all!
I got some beers here.
Yo, we gotta get lit tonight.
We gotta get fucked
up, want some beer?
Come on.
- [Tom] Nah, I'm already
turnt man, I'm good.
- Hey!
- [Tom] Yo, what's up?
- My God, Joey, your
hair looks so good.
So much better than mine.
- Please, have
you seen yourself?
Hashtag goals!
- Yeah, whoa, "hashtag goals!"
Huh, alright.
Oh!
- Fire's ready.
- [Nikki] Woo!
- Okay, hey, okay.
Our delicate little
flower's withered away, huh?
(tense music)
(handle jiggles)
(sighs) God help me.
Let's get this party started!
What do you say?
Yo Bryce, when you
going back to LA, dude?
- Haven't decided yet.
- I'd be dying to get back.
I mean beaches,
mansions, models.
What a life huh?
- Everywhere has its flaws, Tom.
- Hey, not Jersey.
- Especially Jersey.
My life isn't exactly
what you think it is, Tom.
- I'd still take your
life over mine any day.
- Yeah, it's a little
like when rich people
tell you money
doesn't buy happiness.
Might be true, but
I think I'd rather
find out the hard way.
(Tom laughs)
- Joey, I can't believe this
is our last night together.
I feel like we just
became best friends.
- I know, I feel the exact same.
I wish we could
stay here forever.
- [Nikki] Me too.
- Well we threw their van keys
in the woods, so now we can.
(Nikki, Bryce, and Joey laugh)
- I'm so glad this
worked out, Bryce.
I've had a blast.
- [Andrew] Yeah, we know, dude.
We heard all 30 seconds Of it.
- Piss off, Andy.
It was longer than that.
Check the tape.
I saw.
- Were you recording?
- It's a nice memory.
- Proof of your sin, dude.
Having sex before marriage.
Dude, what are your
parents gonna think?
- Fuck you, Andy!
- Tommy.
- Seriously, just
shut the fuck up okay?
Joey and I bend
ourselves over backwards
for your channel and
all you do is treat me
like some intern that
you can mess with.
- Dude, what are
you talking about?
- I'm not your crazy
sidekick, Andy.
Not everyone's purpose in life
is to help the
Amazing Andy, okay?
This weekend was
supposed to be a fun,
relaxing weekend partying
with our friends.
Not fucking filming
a stupid vlogumentary
and settling your petty
vendetta with Bryce.
- [Andrew] Dude, shut up.
- Oh no, what if he hears?
What if he hears?
Hey Bryce, Andy thinks
you are a demon.
And you've brought us
all here to kill us.
So would you mind bringing
him back to reality, Bryce?
Bryce?
- Do you ever hear that voice
in the back of your head?
Hmm?
That uncontrollable
part of your conscience.
Making decisions.
Determining right, wrong.
Good from evil.
Poisoning your
mind with thoughts
of inadequacy and self-doubt?
It started when I was 12.
We were pranking
this crazy old man
when he snapped and
dragged me inside.
Andy was there.
Filming the whole thing.
Anything for the
shot, right buddy?
The old man tied me up.
And told me he was giving me
a gift that would set me free.
That's when the voices began.
At first they were helpful.
Telling me what to
do, what to say,
to achieve anything I wanted.
After awhile they got bored.
Hungry for something new.
Started telling me to do
things to hurt myself.
My friends.
So I ran.
Moved across the country.
But they followed me.
- So how'd you get them to stop?
- Well that's just it, Tommy.
I didn't.
It turns out it
takes a very special
kind of person to receive
a gift of that magnitude.
Just ask Katie Perkins.
Well, actually.
Don't.
Turns out she
couldn't handle it.
I guess you just can't give
it to anyone these days.
It was a big mess.
You remember Katie, right?
She had those bangs.
(chuckles) Hey Joey?
Let's get a shot of Andy's face.
Yeah, right there.
That's perfect for
the vlogumentary.
- Hate to break
it to you, Bryce.
My video just posted
an hour ago, fuckface.
Right, Joey?
(tense music)
Jo?
- Oopsies!
(Nikki, Bryce, and Joey laugh)
- Look at his face!
- Oh my God!
"Game over, bitch."
(Dew grunting)
- [Dew] Told him
it wouldn't fit.
- Are you gonna cry?
Is little Andy gonna cry?
(Nikki, Bryce, and Joey laugh)
- What is that?
(liquid squishing)
- Wait.
Ew.
What's that smell?
- Oh shit.
It's the sump pump.
I told him it wouldn't all fit.
(loud burst)
(suspense music)
- Oh my God!
- Fuck this, dude!
Run run run!
(house rock music)
What the hell, Tom?
Look!
- [Tom] Oh God!
- Shit, dude.
We gotta go!
(demonic chanting)
(screeching)
Tom!
Dude, there's no lock, dude!
Grab something or something!
- [Tom] I think I
have a belt in here.
Here here here.
- [Andrew] Okay okay okay.
Gotta put it on.
- [Tom] I think I got it.
- [Andrew] Got it?
- [Tom] Yeah, it's in, dude.
- [Andrew] Do you have
your phone with you?
- [Tom] No, Nikki has it.
- [Andrew] Shit.
Wait wait wait wait wait.
You saw what I saw dude?
Their fucking eyes, man.
- [Tom] No I saw, I saw, man.
Nikki had it too when we
were, you know, making love.
- Hello, hi!
My friend Tom and
I are being held
against our will at
our friend's cabin.
Yes, 66 Bishop Place.
Really?
You sure?
Okay, thank you.
They said there's someone at
our location already, dude.
(floorboards creaking)
- ["Pat"] Go for
Pat, go for Pat.
Officer Pat here.
Walking through the house now.
Nothing out of the ordinary.
Just a bunch of kids
having a wild party.
I'll do another
sweep before I leave.
(loud knocking)
Hello?
You boys okay in there?
(carrot crunching)
Officer Pat to dispatch.
Everything's all set here.
Your friend called
me to say you two
took some drugs and
weren't thinking clearly.
- Why the fuck would they
be here already, dude?
- Oh God.
The reflux is coming back.
- [Dew] (demonic)
You didn't take any
of your buddy's
melatonin did you?
- Hi, yeah, this is
Andy, I just called.
Officer Pat is NOT here.
Can you please
send someone else?
What are you doing?
(phone smashes)
What the fuck?
- Oh God!
(groaning)
I think God is cursing me
for having premarital sex.
Either that or it's gonorrhea.
(classy piano music)
- Oh hi there.
Brilliant Bryce here.
The Amazing Andy's best buddy.
We have a very special
video for you today.
But first, a word
from our sponsors.
- If you're like
us, you have trouble
cutting things out of your life.
Luckily, we have just the thing.
- I'm in the market.
Look at all these options.
What do you recommend
for a woman like myself?
- Well Jo, you're in luck.
I've got the perfect
tool for a strong
independent woman like yourself.
An elegant rusty knife.
For those tough,
hard to sever cuts.
Perfect for removing ligaments
or just some
lighthearted stabbing.
(Nikki and Joey laugh)
(slicing)
- Do you think the Ouija
board did this, dude?
- I don't care, man.
We just need to get out of here.
- Obviously, man, but if
they came out of the board
maybe we gotta put them back in.
- This isn't Jumanji.
Oh God.
I think I'm gonna puke.
I'm good, I'm good,
I'm good, I'm good.
- This may be bad timing,
dude, but I want to apologize.
For...
For everything, man.
I know I've been such a
fucking asshole to you.
- It's fine.
It's fine, I should've
listened to you about Bryce.
- Dude, if we make
it out of this thing
I'm gonna shut the
fucking channel down.
I do not want to
turn into Bryce, man.
My life is just...
Fine the way it is, you know?
- Andrew.
You're my best friend.
But you're full of shit.
(Andrew and Tom chuckles)
(car pulling up)
Someone's here.
- Oh God.
(tense music)
(doorbell rings)
- [Andrew] I can't tell, man.
It's dark.
- Good evening!
Hello!
Hi, I'm so sorry that
I'm late, but I was...
It doesn't matter, okay.
Lord God, lamb of God, take away
the sins of the world
and have mercy...
No, okay.
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Halle
Come to me in the
name of the Lord
- I feel like this
isn't what you wanted.
Is this not?
Do you have a note for me, or
maybe is it not convincing?
I can do a liturgical dance.
Like a tasteful...
More prayer?
- [Andrew] Oh shit, dude,
it's Marlow the priest.
- Call for help.
- Help!
Help!
Help!
(slicing)
(Bryce laughs)
- Woo!
Smile!
(slice)
That's a wrap on the priest!
- [Andrew] Fuck!
What the fuck, dude?
Tom!
Run, dude, run!
(suspense music)
Go-go-go-go-go-go!
Tom!
Tom!
- Goddammit!
I told you boys a hundred times.
(demonic voice)
Stay out of my yard!
- [Andrew] No!
Not again!
- [Tom] Save yourself!
Nooooo!
- [Andrew] Take that,
you creepy old fuck!
Tom!
Come on, dude.
- [Tom] Go, run!
- [Andrew] Ha, you missed!
- Next time I won't.
(Tom groans)
- I don't know how much
further I can make it, Andy.
Andy, your camera.
- It's fine, dude.
Come on, just a little further.
- Okay.
- Don't worry buddy, we're gonna
find a place for
you to lie down.
It's gonna be fine.
- [Tom] My insides are on fire.
- [Andrew] Dude, shut up.
They might hear us.
- [Tom] Oh God, I need
this out of me, dude.
- [Andrew] You're
gonna be fine, just-
- (demonic voice) I
need this out of me!
- [Andrew] Holy shit!
- You gotta tie me up.
- [Andrew] Are you
possessed, dude?
- I don't know, man.
- [Andrew] It was
fucking Nikki wasn't it?
Why'd it take you so much
longer than everyone else?
- (demonic voice) Because
I'm such a GOOD little boy!
(normal) Just grab the
sheets, man, anything!
- [Andrew] Fucking
what about these?
- Gross, fine, whatever!
- [Andrew] Fine,
hold still, dude.
- Hold still.
- Hurry!
(demonic growling)
- Okay, yeah.
- (normal) Yeah, okay, these
are tight enough at least.
Okay.
In my bag there's a bible.
Get that.
- You still carry
your bible around?
- Just get the
fucking book, man!
- Jesus, okay, man!
Now what?
- Okay.
Open the yellow tab and read it.
(demonic voice) No!
Read the red one, bitch!
(normal) Don't listen to him!
Read the yellow tab.
- Dude, a lot of these
are bookmarked, man.
- (demonic voice) Just read!
- Okay!
"In the name of Jesus
Christ, our God and Lord."
- (demonic voice) Burn!
Burn your whore face!
- "She followed Paul and
the rest of us shouting
"These men are servants
of the Most High God
"who are telling you
the way to be saved."
Is this helping?
- (demonic voice) No,
don't read another word
you stupid little bitch!
Come here so I
can eat your skin!
Nom nom nom nom nom!
- Alright!
"Paul, having been greatly
annoyed with the spirit,
"turned and said to the
spirit I command you
"in the name of Jesus
Christ to come out of her."
Fuck, that's it!
I command you in the name
of Jesus Christ to come out
of him! (demonic screams)
Get out of my friend!
(Demon screams)
Wait, did that actually work?
- (normal) I think so.
Oh God.
Yeah, the burning
feeling's gone.
Can you untie me?
- Jesus dude, that
was fucking insane!
- Oh my God.
- Why were you so much
worse than everyone else?
- Probably because I just
(demonic voice) plucked
my little flower
now come here so
I can pluck yours!
- Don't judge a
book by its cover.
Nah, that's was
bad, I'll go again.
(static)
Hey guys.
I figured I'd do
one last interview.
In case things go wrong.
I started this
vlogumentary to understand
why my friend Bryce
Levy abandoned us.
And now my friend is
possessed by a demon.
And actively trying to kill me.
Joey has all the footage,
so I have nothing
to prove my case.
I could run.
And leave my friends behind.
I've been very good at that.
What's the point, dude?
He's Bryce Levy, man.
He gets whatever he
wants, whenever he wants.
And me, I'm a nobody.
I'm a fucking nobody,
dude, with nothing.
Nothing, stuck sitting on
the ground talking to no one.
No.
No, fuck that, dude.
Fuck that!
Not this time, man.
Bryce Levy and I have
been best friends
since we were four
years old, dude.
Four!
Diapers, man.
Diapers.
I know he's in there somewhere.
And I'm gonna get him out.
(glass shatters)
- [Bryce] Andy!
- All right, gang.
In case this is the
last you hear from me,
this has been the Amazing Andy.
Signing off.
Like.
And subscribe.
Goddammit.
- [Andrew] Bryce?
You there buddy?
Bryce!
(tense music)
(mouse squeaks)
Holy shit!
Fuck me, dude.
(glass shatters)
(thunder booming)
Whoa!
- I always loved
doing my own stunts.
- [Andrew] Dial it back, man.
There's nobody even
here to impress.
(Nikki and Dew clapping)
- Great landing, Bryce.
- Great landing, Bryce.
- [Andrew] What,
were you just waiting
outside for the
perfect entrance?
- We thought it would be
cute for your little video.
- [Andrew] Yeah,
well my video will be
fine enough without
your help, dude.
- Oh Andy.
Can't even put the camera
down for one second can you?
- [Andrew] What
are you doing, man?
Give it back!
- Oh, isn't that cute, guys.
Andy thinks that
he has a choice.
- He doesn't.
- He doesn't.
- What an idiot.
- What an idiot.
- Oh, and you can put
the glass down now.
Won't be needing it anymore.
(slicing)
Come on, Andy.
I'm just trying to help.
You'll like things
better this way.
(thunder booming)
(Bryce laughing)
- Yeah, I doubt it.
- [Bryce] Come on, Andy!
(Andrew panting)
- [Joey] Hi, Andrew.
Isn't this awesome?
I usually hate the shit we film,
but you've really
outdone yourself.
- Why are you doing this?
- [Joey] (demonic voice)
Because you deserve it!
- Joe.
Can you hear me?
I know you're in
there somewhere.
It's me Andy, Jo.
(thunder booming)
(glass shatters)
- [Nikki & Dew] What are
you running from, Andy?
- [Nikki & Dew] We're
just trying to help.
- "The Lord provided a
huge fish to swallow Jonah.
"And Jonah was in
the belly of the fish
"for three days
and three nights."
- (demonic laughing)
The red tab!
You read the red tab, you fool.
You will be consumed
by your ignorance.
- Fuck.
- (demonic roaring)
"Paul, I command
you in the name"
"of Jesus Christ to come out-"
- If only works If you
believe it, sweetheart.
(Bryce groans)
- [Nikki] Bryce?
- [Dew] Bryce?
- I don't know.
- [Nikki] Bryce what's wrong?
- It burns!
Oh my God!
- Bryce.
- Bryce.
- What's wrong?
Bryce!
(Bryce screams)
- It burns!
It burns!
It burns!
(Bryce screams playfully)
It's just a prank, Andy!
(group laughs)
- What the fuck
is wrong with you?
- Oh come on, Andy.
When did you get so naive?
Come on man, you used to
be prepared for anything.
A wet willy, a wedgie,
or a crazy old man
with a fondness for little boys.
- Dude, we were both
in on the prank, dude.
It could've been
either one of us.
- But it wasn't.
You got away.
You got to live a normal life
without a scratch on you.
Isn't that right?
(Andrew wails)
Poor Andy still has to
live with his parents.
Poor Andy can't
get anyone to watch
his hilarious fart videos.
Nothing's ever
poor Andy's fault.
The whole world must
be out to get him.
- I'm sorry.
- [Bryce] What was that?
- I'm sorry, okay?
It was my fault what
happened to you, dude.
If I could go back
and trade places
with you I would, but I can't.
- You would?
Really?
- Yes, yes I would.
- Hmm.
The Amazing Andy.
Desperate for fame
and recognition.
A need to be seen.
And he will do
anything to get it.
Do you see that camera, Andy?
Hmm?
Yeah?
It sees you too.
Shhh, easy.
I'm not gonna hurt you, Andy.
I'm giving you a gift.
The chance to be the person
you've already dreamed of being.
(demonic voice) Me.
Because you deserve it.
(snaps)
- Please.
Please, Bryce.
(tense eerie music)
(demonic chanting)
(demonic chanting)
(music crescendos)
(static)
- Hey everyone.
Brilliant Bryce here.
It's been a while.
But I promise the
wait will be worth it.
Andy spent his entire life
hiding behind a camera.
Trying to get noticed.
Trying to be seen.
Well Andy, welcome
to the limelight.
A life fully seen,
but never noticed.
Enjoy the ride.
It's romantic and
full of adventure.
But when it's over, allow me
to offer you one
piece of advice.
Find someone as desperate
and pathetic as you
to pass it on to.
After all, it's a gift.
And they deserve it.
Just like you.
(tense music)
(door creaks)
(door slams)
(footsteps)
- Did you leave the camera on?
- I'm not an idiot, Tom.
You ready?
- [Tom] Yep.
- Okay.
(exhales)
What's up everybody?
It's the Amazing
Andy, back at it
again with another epic video.
As always, remember to like
and subscribe 'cause we're...
(electronic rock music)
- Now back to the show.
(thunder booming)
(electric whirring)
(tense music)
(distant wailing)
I've been here before.
(party music)
- [Andrew] Somebody
turned this shit off!
(clears throat) All
right, what up everybody?
It's the Amazing Andy
coming at you from LA.
Los Angeles, California.
West coast, baby, let's party!
Yo, Tom!
Tom come here, baby!
Quit eating that
fruit, what's good?
Come on man, we're
waiting for you.
- Here we go, here we go.
Thank you, Dew.
Thank you thank you thank you.
(snorting)
- Woo!
- [Andrew] Yeah!
Come on, come on,
share the love.
- Get in there, get in there.
- Share the love.
- Come here come here.
- Thank you.
All right.
Thank you, Dew.
All right, here we go.
(snorting)
Fuck me! (laughs)
- [Tom] (laughs) Hey,
Andy, Andy, Andy, Andy!
- Yeah?
- [Tom] Can you tell
our viewers please
why we're all
celebrating here today?
- Well I'd first like to thank
all of our beautiful sponsors.
They're the ones who
made this all happen.
And of course I want
to thank our fans.
You guys have made it possible.
But I just want
to say we're here
because we just hit
10 million subscribers!
(group cheers)
Oh shit!
Oh baby!
- [Tom] Wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, Andy Andy!
One more question,
one more question.
For the fans, for the fans.
If you could go back
to when we started
Mean Spirited, would
you change anything?
- Andrew would.
But the Amazing Andy?
(demonic voice)
Doesn't give a fuck!
(rock music)
Finally now
you're in control
Such a myth it is
To think I ever had it all
Got my new leather
jacket that I slip on
So if it will
fit, will it fit
I'll stretch and
move to the best
So you want to take a ride
Up the hill
beyond the horizon
You've been moving
in stranger ways
You move in stranger ways
I can't keep up with it
Since we met I've
seen stranger things
Specters hidden in my sound
Let the groove
just move you now
- Yeah, nailed it.