Meet the Patels (2014) Movie Script
- Do you want me to hold this so you...
- No, that's fine...
But we both need to talk into it so
maybe, put it in the middle of us.
Wait, not with your headphones because
you're going to be yelling otherwise.
- Oh, right.
- You got your headphones on
and you got this
thing in your hand...
...and you're like,
"I'll hold this."
How do we, uh, how do we wanna do this?
Do you wanna... should I just...
Just, just start at the
beginning of the story.
Right, so...
So you know, when I think
about our extended family
- I always felt like growing up, I was the odd man out.
- Mmm-hmm.
But now I think it's all relative.
Like, you know, my entire life,
I got made fun of for having a big nose.
People called me Gonzo.
So I always thought this nose was
kind of my obstacle to greatness.
And then recently, I was
getting fitted for a hat
- as an actor.
- Mmm-hmm.
And the guy goes...
"You have an unusually small head."
After all these years, I find
out that my nose was perfect.
It was my head that was small!
Wait, how did...
See what I'm saying? So like,
you know, like, in
terms of the family
maybe I'm not the one
who's out of place,
maybe it was an analogy...
Rav, can you just get...
Start the story. So, start,
start it with the trip to India.
Right. So, story starts two years ago.
Here in LA,
I had just broken up with Audrey
and I was miserable.
We'd been together for two years
and I had never told
Mom and Dad about her,
in fact, they were freaking out
because you know, here I was,
almost thirty, never married,
which in our culture is like...
- Code red.
- Code red!
And to make things worse,
two weeks after this breakup,
I had to go on our annual
family trip to India.
My dear, when are you
going to get married?
You know, the later you
show up to a restaurant,
the more limited the menu.
My prince, you're killing us.
Zone two? No?
Do you want us to die
without the grandchildren?
You know, Champa, I don't even
think he wants to get married!
Don't do what Geeta did to us.
You and your sister can't
live together forever!
If he wanted to get married...
He would be married!
You know that girl
in Eat, Pray, Love,
you know, she goes
through a break-up,
goes on the existential
journey to India
to get over depression,
find out what she
really wanted in life?
I was that girl.
Except, my family was
with me the entire time.
The entire time.
- Let's go, Geeta!
- Geets, come on!
Ahhh!
Oh, you have to buy one now,
the guy's been working...
Four, five.
Hey!
I look too sexy for this.
And behind the camera
was you, sister.
Yeah.
Documentary filmmaker, but by
no means a cinematographer.
That's why for the
next hour and a half,
we will be treated to
footage that is out of focus,
poorly framed,
and often has a microphone in
the upper right hand corner.
We are having a great time with the family.
Next time, we are going to
come with the grandchildren.
Here's the thing. In
Mom and Dad's eyes,
I had never had a girlfriend
and I had no idea how
to get a girlfriend.
Right.
So in their mind, it's like,
"Hey, we're going to
India, it's our last chance
"and maybe we can get him to
get married the way we did."
Why do our marriages
survive at a higher rate
than the American marriage
when you say, "I have
to be falling in love,
"and it has to click."
Where you know the girl
for a year or two the way Americans do
and still 50% of the marriages fail,
- the reason is compatibility, value, the belief.
- Yeah.
Like we got married, me and Mom,
I only talked to her 10 minutes.
Does that mean you think
that works for me as well?
- Absolutely!
- Absolutely.
- If you ask me, 100%, I believe...
- Yeah.
...from the bottom of the
heart, not even a doubt.
Everything affects our thinking and liking
whether you are going to put
up with the person or not,
if your, if her food habits are different.
Food habits is the first reason?
No, no, I'm giving you a reason at random.
You want to focus on a girl
who has same value in the life
and have been raised same way you have,
and especially keeping in
mind the religion is same.
Now, we're not saying
every Indian family is good for you.
That is why we select.
You had to check the
family and the background
because you only get 10
minutes to meet the person.
Whereas I'm saying, you date the person.
- You get a better sense of who a person is...
- No, no, no...
...by spending time with that person
than by finding out who their family is.
- That's why there's a matchmaking.
- Aha!
If this girl is good with that boy
but that boy is good with this girl,
so everybody is good,
everybody gets married at the end.
All the girls and all the boys get married.
What would be the downside
of me marrying a white girl?
A white girl, a white girl?
Let's say American, let's
say a white American girl.
Here's where it gets
a little tricky...
I have a huge family,
all last name Patel.
And here's the thing, they're
all married to Patels.
See, these are the
rules of being a Patel,
you're supposed to marry
someone who's also named Patel.
Now, it's not incest. It's...
it's like a caste thing.
It means... uh,
that they're from this
small little region of India.
Where we come from,
actually our hometown's
probably, I want to say 90%...
Eighty to 90% Patel...
...is Patels.
The story starts she's from Anand.
I am from Dharmaj.
My brother got married to her sister.
I was only 18, she was 14.
We decided that both families, you know,
liked each other.
And then we were told that we are going to
meet each other at this person's house
and our parents were waiting outside
and we went in the room
and given five minutes to take care of it.
We had a guy in the middle of
us so there's no hanky-panky.
In India,
the girls don't have much
of a say in those days.
Girls have to get married
to who their parents say,
so I said, "No, that's not fair."
I said, "If you have anything in your mind,
"you want to marry
someone else, let me know,
"and I will say no.
"So that way, you don't have to say no."
I went back and told my family,
I said, "This is the girl I want to marry."
It took five minutes though... Right?
We never said anything, just
hi, hello, and that's it.
Let's get married.
And let's get married.
- Right.
- Right?
And I'm supposed to get a girl from where?
Ideally.
It's a triangle. That
would be ideal for Patel.
Uh-huh.
So if I found a girl from this,
- Kapadvanj in Kheda...
- Hmm.
Oh, you're shaking your head
already, that's way too far?
How far apart do they have
to be for it to be justified?
Well, usually there should be no relation.
Because everyone is probably still,
a lot of these people
are probably still related
way down the road.
I'm pretty sure they are at some point,
but I don't know that much history of it.
Before we go any further,
let me just take you back.
Take it from the top,
one, two, three...
India 1945, Dad entered the world.
Twenty-two years later,
Dad's entire village
pooled their money to
send him to America.
You know I came to America with
eight dollars in my pocket?
That's all, that's all I had.
Look at me now.
1967, Dad enrolled at Michigan Tech.
He and six other guys from India
shared one room and
one bank account.
You know, I had to look up
every word in the dictionary,
every word.
Having a weak English lexicon left me feeling
lugubrious, acrimonious, cantankerous.
I'm sorry, am I being superfluous?
Look at me now!
1972, Dad's dad called
him and told him...
It's time to get married!
Dad flew to India, got
an arranged marriage,
came back with Mom.
You know some people they date,
then they get married?
We did it opposite.
Look at me now.
I don't know how they fell in love,
but they are the happiest
couple I've ever seen.
- 1975, you were born...
- Yup.
Three years later, I was born.
I had a very happy childhood,
but the older I got,
the more I lived a double life.
At home, I was Indian
Ravi, I spoke Gujarati,
hung out with Indians,
I watched Indian movies.
Outside the house,
I was American Ravi.
Hi, Ma!
I spoke English, hung
out with Americans,
watched American movies...
My, my dating history is short.
Growing up, dating wasn't allowed.
In fact, if a girl
ever called the house,
- there was an interrogation afterwards.
- Right.
The expectations were clear,
I was gonna have a
perfect Indian wife.
She'd be a wonderful
mother, a great cook,
that was the plan.
So I was shocked
when the first girl I
really fell for was...
Hey, we're on hayride.
A redhead from Connecticut.
Doe, a dear a female deer.
Audrey was my first and
only girlfriend, ever.
Okay, I look a little weird
because, um, I'm on night vision.
We're gonna get in trouble!
You're really high up!
You know, we were pretty serious.
Um, Madonna, Snoop Doggy Dog,
oh, he's a, he's a painter,
he's a computer guy?
What?
She has so many amazing qualities.
I mean, just that she could
dance at a drop of a hat
for no reason.
She has a lot of sensibilities
that most 50-year-old
mothers have...
She loves a good how-to book.
- Any puppy videos...
- Aww.
If there's a video online
where people are crying,
she's watching it
and she's crying too.
I mean, we were
together for two years,
and it definitely felt like,
"Okay, it's time to tell Mom
and Dad that she exists."
That was good, right?
But somehow, there was still
something else inside me,
like in my gut, that just didn't sit well,
and I didn't really know what it was.
Is there a term for it, the Indian Problem?
I said, "Look, I just can't
live this double life anymore.
"You know, I... I can't hide
this relationship from my parents,
"it's not fair to you or them."
And I, I don't know, I
just couldn't do it anymore.
So...
We broke up.
It's not the idea of marrying
a girl that's a problem,
I, 100%, I would get married...
You know, I'm 29, I want to be married,
but for me specifically, I don't want to...
You know, doing it like a job interview.
In a best-case scenario,
I think I could marry a girl
six months after meeting her.
Hey, that was different though, man.
No, no, no, no.
I know the process!
No, no, no, no.
Right.
It gets me stressed out
just thinking about it.
I think I just never questioned
that I would find the girl I want
and I would find her in kind
of a normal, American way,
like in the movies...
- Ray!
- Excuse me
- In the middle of nowhere...
- Can I help you?
it would be romantic...
You complete me...
You had me at hello...
And I wouldn't need my
parents to do it for me,
cause it's pathetic!
- I mean, they're setting up the dates.
- Right.
In my case, they're probably,
texting me in the middle of it.
And then you're waiting to find out
whether you get a second date,
not from her but from Mom and Dad.
From Mom and Dad.
It's like, it's like exactly the
relationship I have with my acting agents.
Like they'll call me up and be like...
My prince, my prince,
darling, baby, good news.
Talked to Seema's parents,
looks like they want to
bring you in for a callback!
Vasant, coffee!
So here's the deal, it's
going to be Friday night,
you're going to take her to Chinese.
Now listen, they love
you. Don't do anything new.
Same stuff.
Nothing tricky,
we're hearing it's between
you and two guys named Raj.
All right? Oh and, hey, Ravi, good luck,
don't blow it. Hit the girls.
- So the next stop was Dad's village.
- Right...
There's literally a pile
of crap everywhere you go,
they need to figure out how
to potty-train the cows, right?
Dad's village is like
the belly of the beast.
Right, cause we are
related to everybody.
Yeah, and they all immediately
had one question...
Imagine the most annoying
person in your family,
who's kinda always in your business,
asking all sorts of questions
and you're trying to just
get out of the situation.
Now imagine an entire village
filled with that person.
Like in The Matrix,
you know where that bad guy
is, like, multiplying
over and over again.
Dad's one of the most
respected people I know,
but Mom might be an even bigger deal
because she is known
as a matchmaker.
So it's a huge failure in Mom's eyes
that her own kids aren't married,
and she's the best in the business.
December's actually
wedding season in India,
meaning Indians from
all over the world
come to India, not just
to meet each other, but...
- To marry... Yeah.
- To marry each other.
Everyone except for us.
No.
No.
Wow!
When too many people like us
are telling you that, my
prince, this thing works,
at least you need to close
your eyes, one day, for 24 hours
and think, all these
people are telling you.
And think that there could be some truth.
The whole world cannot be wrong.
Yeah, the whole world
cannot be wrong, my prince.
I remember sitting there, and I'm
looking at Mom and Dad on stage
and, you know, this charity,
that... And this whole event
which is put on just
because of their own efforts
and, you know, it reminded me
just how much I love our family
and how much I love our culture.
Where we're from.
Yeah, you know, when I have kids,
I kinda wanted them to
have the same feeling,
the same experience.
And grow up the way we did.
Yeah, and go on trips
like, like these.
Yeah.
And that's when it all
became clear to me that,
you know, maybe that's why
I had broken up with Audrey,
because, you know, I wanted this.
So what happened? What changed your mind?
I guess I had this realization that...
whenever in my head I imagined
who it was that I was gonna marry,
it was this Indian girl.
Yet, here I was, almost 30
and I hadn't found one yet,
and I started doing the math.
I mean, when we were
in India, it was like,
looking around, there's
Indians everywhere,
those guys have it easy.
But I live in America,
and here I am looking
for an Indian girl,
who's Gujarati, and
Patel more specifically.
- And single.
- And female, by the way,
and all these other normal things
that people look for,
cute, smart, funny.
And she has to love you.
She has to love me,
I have to love her,
we have to find each other.
- I mean, there's a lot of odds stacked against me.
- Right.
And then here Dad was saying, "Trust me,
"this is gonna work," and
I was like, ya know what?
- Maybe, maybe I'm being close-minded.
- Right.
This system has worked
for so many people...
People that are like me.
I'm so happy!
Little punk.
Dashing through the snow
In a one-horse open sleigh
O'er the fields we
go Laughing all the way
Bells on bob-tail
ring Making spirits bright
What fun it is to ride and
sing a sleighing song tonight
National Lampoon Comedy Radio
XM 154, back in the studio,
uh, people aren't normally
invited back so quickly
but I... I love him, I do,
uh Ravi Patel, welcome back.
I have missed you so.
You're first generation?
I'm first generation,
you know, it's a generally strict culture,
specifically the kind of Indian
that I am, which is Gujarati.
I'd say about 50% of the
Indians that you meet in America
are Gujarati, Patels, Patel's a very com...
There are... I know a lot of Patels.
Yeah, Patel's very common,
- like, my name, Ravi Patel is like John Smith.
- Right!
Patels are hardcore, and
there's so many of you.
They're useless vegetarians,
you're physically small humans.
The first word that
came to mind was "cheap."
Patels own motels or own hotels
or, you know, 7-Elevens.
If I pay to stay somewhere,
it's purely as a result of me
not making enough phone calls.
You know, it's really like
Gujarati people in America are
often the working class
in India that came over.
I came to America actually in December '67.
When our children came to a marriage age,
there was a need for
some kind of matchmaking,
girl to a boy.
This book gives the names and addresses
of all the 24 villages.
- And these are all Patels! All Patels.
- Oh yeah. All Patels.
Problem is, all the Patels who came,
they are spread all over
50 states in America.
How do you still follow the same system
that was workable back
home in the small area
but not workable here
because of the geographic,
you know, the distance.
So what happened?
What happened is they
invented the bio-data.
The bio-data is a sheet
of paper, like a resume,
that the parents pass around
to help them make
an informed decision
when they're making matches.
Nobody writes their own bio-data.
It's done by committee
and it's a very rosy picture of yourself
that really isn't you.
I never gave my mom an
actual physical bio-data,
I refused, I was like,
I'm not going to resume
myself out on a piece of paper,
and she's like, "Give me a resume,"
and so I sent her my work resume.
I've never seen mine,
I've never, 'cause I
just don't want to know.
I go to a wedding and I run into this lady.
She's like, "Oh, my God,
come sit down next to me,
"you are just... you're so wonderful,
"and gosh, you know, had your dad
"sent a better picture of you,
"you could have been
my daughter-in-law."
And I'm like...
Here's what's on my bio-data,
date of birth, height, weight,
occupation, education, hobbies,
and then there's stuff
I have no interest in,
like parent's location
and work history,
sibling location and work history,
horoscope, caste, skin complexion,
there's "wheatish brown,"
I think I've seen "almond brown."
It's like the lighter you are,
the more attractive you are.
They talk about the homely,
wheatish complexion girl,
I mean, it's a running joke.
Well, one, the word homely is used wrong.
Hey, Hasmukh, what's up?
Listen, got your daughter's bio-data,
oh, great job, I mean, PhD. Really?
Okay, see, here's the thing.
Um, Raj is more of a wheatish brown,
he's just, yeah, he's just had a good life,
and we've kept him out
of the sun on purpose.
So good to talk to you,
and good luck with that
dark daughter of yours...
Congrats again on the PhD, great job.
So after I gave Mom
and Dad my bio-data,
they could officially release
it into the marketplace.
Within weeks, my bio-data
was in the hands of uncles,
aunts, family friends
and complete strangers.
Now while my bio-data
was circulating out there
in the marketplace, Mom and Dad
were simultaneously receiving
other people's bio-datas.
Then what they do is filter
them based on what type of women
they think would be
a good fit for me.
Looks good, so I'm going to
forward this to Ravi, okay?
And by the end of January,
I got my first batch of bio-datas.
Dad sent me 20 bio-datas,
so basically, 20 pictures and resumes
of matrimonial candidates,
which is totally normal. Right?
This is the one I like the most,
she's 28, she's 5'4", 124 pounds...
Is she getting one of these of you?
I would imagine, yeah.
And can she also veto
or give the thumbs-up?
Yeah, this is her preferences,
oh, they have a preferences
section at the bottom.
- Ooh!
- "Hindu, Gujarati speaking,
"must have moderate family
and religious values.
"Preferences: Academic
or professional career."
I don't know how I got this.
Now, phone-call phase is,
it's straight up cold-calling,
"Hey, my name is Ravi,
"my mother Champa
gave me your bio-data,
"which was given to her by Kokila-bhen
"who was given to her by Mahendra-bhai
"who happens to be your uncle, I think."
I love that I get to watch this.
This is so weird.
I mean, wait, so when I'm talking to you
during the date at some point,
I'm gonna talk to you, right?
No, why would you talk
to me during the date?
- Just pretend you're not there the whole time?
- Yeah! What, Ravi...
That's how this is done, I'm supposed
to pretend like you're not there.
You're just having a date,
I'm just filming. This whole...
That's not "just anything," that's weird.
That's just weird.
I'm a little nervous, this
is like uh, really weird.
- I'm nervous too, okay, you're not the only one.
- Okay, good.
Do you want a drink, by the way?
- Are you gonna get one?
- Yeah.
Like, I've played a doctor like, 30 times.
- Really? Typical.
- Yeah.
Yeah, I know, it's the next
best thing for my parents.
- I have a lot of um, Asian friends,
- Okay.
so we'll go like dinner,
karaoke... It's so much fun.
Wait, hold on, time out, why do
you have so many Asian friends?
Well, I started off as
a computer science major.
I love chocolate, but what girl doesn't?
I'm a big... I'm a big chocolate fan.
You like chocolate too.
My parents love talking
about blood pressure,
forever they've always been talking, BP,
what's your BP?
Yeah.
So what'd you think of her?
I think she's really cool.
I don't know, we'll see.
I don't know, what'd you think?
You were there, what'd you think?
I guess that's the upside...
...afterwards I can be
like, "So what did you think?
"Should we, uh, should we call her back?"
"I don't know, Geeta, what do you think?
"I don't know if she's for us."
So, there's this one time
we're on this family trip
driving through Tennessee
in the station wagon,
we had to stop
somewhere for the night.
Of course, we're
Patels, we're cheap,
we always stayed in motels.
Then we get to the motel.
Of course, it's owned by a Patel.
That was every trip.
Dad looks back at me with this grin,
'cause he knows he's
hit the jackpot.
Somehow, this is going
to save us money.
He goes in, he goes,
"Hey, you know we need
a room for the night."
The guy looks up.
"Patel?"
"Patel."
Next thing I know,
we're having dinner with them.
I remember, I'm like,
laying on the carpet,
like changing channels on
the TV like it's my place.
Dad is talking to this
uncle, who we just met!
And it's like they've
known each other forever...
Mom's in the kitchen cooking,
you know, making samosas...
It was like a family reunion.
It was almost as if
we had made the trip
just to see them. And of course,
the next day we leave.
And I don't know that we
ever talked to them again.
I don't think we did.
That's what I love about being Patel.
They don't keep score,
they don't count favors.
You are unconditionally
a part of the biggest family in the world.
Hey, Dad...
I'm good. Hey, so listen,
there's a lot of girls from
other parts of the country,
there's a lot of girls from Toronto.
Yeah, that's the problem, like,
what I'm supposed to like...
- Pretty impressive.
- Yeah, that was...
Would have been more impressive if you...
Met the woman of your dreams.
Yeah, I mean, I didn't
come out of that trip
feeling like "Oh, I just met the one."
But I came out of that trip feeling like,
"Okay, I think I will."
And uh, by the way, I felt accomplished
just having gone on 15
dates around the country.
- That's crazy.
- Yeah, right, but for them,
15 was a huge number.
I mean, Dad found
Mom after 12 women.
Yeah but he's clearly
better at this than I am.
I've probably been on 1 to 200.
What?
Yeah.
I've been doing this since I was 20.
And how many of those
resulted in second dates?
None.
Well, we should be talking about you then.
I mean, why are you failing?
So they were, like, trying to pressure me
into like, getting an arranged marriage
and I'm like, no, I don't want to do it,
they were like, let's
put an ad in the paper,
'cause that's what a lot of people do
is they go there, they put
an ad in the classifieds.
In the matrimonial section...
The classified is labeled matrimonial.
It's like, "Seeking an
alliance for our daughter..."
That's like Victorian England.
The fact that the term alliance is used...
- Alliance is the right word.
- Alliance is the right word, yeah.
"Homely and comely," whoever
knows what that means.
"Homely and comely, wheatish complexion."
From my perspective, that sounds
- incredibly racist or odd, you know...
- Yeah.
...but like, right? It does, doesn't it?
They sell a lotion in India
called Fair And Lovely,
and people like, lather it onto their skin.
- It's a skin-bleaching lotion?
- A skin-bleaching lotion...
- No way.
- ...to try and get lighter.
They have a male version now
that's called Fair And Handsome.
Oh!
Fair skin is a big deal.
Like, right now, if my mom
saw me in the sun right now,
she'd be like, "Ahh, your
marriage value is plummeting!"
I got to tell you, like,
based on what I've gone through
with my parents so far, like I
hope it does work, I really do.
You really do? You hope it does?
Absolutely, like, look,
if the end is that I end up
with a girl that I think is amazing
and I want to be with...
I guess I'm just confused
because you've been with
somebody who you love
and think is amazing and
you do want to be with
and now you guys are broken
up which happens and is fine,
but like that prospect is totally gone
if this works out.
Hey.
How are you?
Sister's great, she's uh,
she's in Charlotte right now
and it's awesome.
I've recently...
Yeah, I love when she leaves.
How has your life been
not being Facebook friends with me?
Nothing, it was just a bit of an
earth-shattering moment for me,
I didn't know about it
until like two weeks in,
and then I realized,
I don't even know how I figured it out,
I'm sure I tried to go to your profile
and I wasn't your friend.
Yeah.
What?
Did...
Have I dealt with my inability to commit?
Huh. How do you deal
with that kind of thing?
Um,
I don't know how to deal
with commitment issues.
I mean, you either have
them or you don't, right?
Or like, you have them until you commit,
is that how it goes?
Yeah, so then I still have them.
How do we end this? What do we...
- Do we just say bye?
- Umm.
Well, when do we talk again?
Do we have to like set a date,
or do I like, have to wait
another six weeks or something?
Oh, yeah, so I'm just calling you whenever,
like I'll call you, like
in a month or something?
It's good talking to you, Audrey.
All right...
All right, talk to you later, bye.
Well... she's, I mean...
I'm telling you, our odds
are going to be much better
if you find girls that are in America,
American-born and also...
you know, tend to have a
mixture of friends culturally,
'cause that to me is
the ultimate indicator.
Okay.
Okay, you're probably
right about that, yeah.
This one? It's 17.99 a month.
And then I got to pay for
every date I go on, obviously.
Well, yeah, you have
to pay for the dates...
well, you don't have to,
you can split the dates.
Dutch on the first date,
- unless you like them...
- Do you do that?
Have you ever gone Dutch on a date?
I am a man seeking a woman.
Okay, which best describes your body type.
Go with, "Athletic and toned."
I am athletic and toned!
No, you're not, you
have a few extra pounds.
"Graduate student in neurobiology."
"Science geek"!
Yeah I'm going after her, she's awesome.
This girl is awesome.
Strategically placed
tattoo, yeah, that's so hot.
She's great, she's just great.
All right, so I'll pick
you up at like, 8:00?
Okay.
Neeta.
- Hi!
- Hi, are you Heena?
- Hima. Yeah.
- Hima, oh, I'm sorry.
- Ravi.
- Hi.
I'm gonna have to come
up with more constraints,
this has 566 matches.
- Are you a wedding planner?
- Yes I am.
Her name is... Seema?
Well Mom, she didn't
even email me back.
I can't reply to myself!
The good news is if,
uh, match doesn't work,
you get your money back in like six months,
so it's more like a savings account.
Look at that. That's a fun...
This is a fun girl.
Are we supposed to get
like, a knife or something?
No, you just dig in, like Indian style.
Hey Seema, I'm Ravi...
Yeah, not so good there.
Don't do anything sneaky with the camera...
- Okay.
- I'm, I'm dead serious.
This girl's gonna be cute.
- Nope.
- Ohh...
See ya.
I don't know, there is
something cool about showing up
and feeling like you
already know so much about
the other person, like...
We all have kind of like
the exact same upbringing.
Right, like especially with
this dating stuff, like...
No! I mean, we talk about that stuff...
No, that's what I'm
telling you, it's like...
it's like a support group or something.
It's supposed to dry,
it will dry on the way.
I have a system.
Bye.
How did it go?
Rav?
- Huh?
- How did it go?
How do you know that?
Well, see, I don't even
know dating that well,
I haven't done it that much, okay?
I really haven't, like...
I don't date, right?
I went through this like
four-year period, I decided...
I mean, I would even tell
my friends about this,
that I decided that I
wanted to date an Indian girl
and if the only way I could do that
is if I literally, cut myself
off from everything else,
that I was starving so bad for,
a woman,
and knowing that that was the only way...
That I would go after it that much harder.
And it didn't work.
When was this?
Right before Audrey...
I thought it would help me get
closer to finding an Indian.
I did the same thing.
You did the same thing?
Even though I was born here
and considered American,
it wasn't like I ever really
considered myself American.
I've never seen my parents kiss,
like intimacy wasn't something,
did you guys have that?
I saw my dad kiss my
mom on the cheek one time
and I was like, "Whoa!"
You know, they'd put me to sleep,
we'd rattle off all the
different Hindu God names,
at the end they'd say, "Okay, study hard,
"no boys, no blacks,
no Muslims, good night."
My grandmother is probably the most
racist human being I've ever met...
...but she's, like, the
most lovable human being.
They just look in a tunnel
and they can't kind of see outside of that.
I wasn't allowed to date,
girls weren't allowed to call the house.
When I got to college,
there was a ton of Indian people, right,
most of the girls, they, I
called them "Snapback girls,"
those were the ones that
I always went after...
I didn't date anyone, till...
They were never allowed to
date in high school, right,
or their whole lives, so
when they got to college,
the freedom, oh, my God!
And I was in a fraternity...
I don't know how to really talk to men
in order to let them know that
I would be interested in them,
or how to like, play the game,
and like, you know, have them hunt me,
or whatever they're supposed to do.
Yeah, Mom, come sit, let's do cheers!
I love that we're celebrating
your anniversary in sweatpants.
Okay, cheers!
Happy anniversary.
- Happy anniversary!
- Thank you. Happy anniversary to us!
My kids are the lovely kids.
I go upstairs.
She's sitting in a chair
or a stool or something.
Probably a little intimidated
because this guy is from America.
I was the one who asked the questions.
And she never asked me any question.
Which was a big set-up
because she never opened her mouth there
but she never shut up after the marriage.
But let me tell you,
when I talked to him, we
only talked maybe 10 minutes.
- And even then...
- And he made me laugh...
Like crazy.
I asked her, one of the
questions was, and this is true,
"How far have you traveled?"
She said, "I traveled
all the way to Pavagadh."
Now, Pavagadh is only 30 miles away.
So she thought that was far?
To her that was a big
accomplishment, I guess.
Vasant, that's not true.
I mean, you know, how can
I disappoint her in life
when she's happy with 30-mile travel?
But you know what the bottom line is, Ravi?
I still believe, when you are ready,
you will find a girl.
Just like a guru, they
said in the Bhagavad Gita.
Bhagavad Gita says, "When
you are ready for a guru,
"you don't ever look for a guru.
"Guru will come to you."
I know that, I know that at the
end of all these failed dates,
you guys just see failure.
But what I see
is that it's helped me
figure out what I want.
I see progress.
I see that, oh, I've figured
out that, you know what...
But you know what, I'm learning.
I'm learning. Now I know
what kind of girl I want.
Oh, I got a ticket.
God.
Oh, God.
Do you have to do it this way?
Ready?
Okay, ready?
Okay.
Hey, can I talk to you for a sec?
- Not really.
- So, what do you think?
Notice anything different?
Hair color, trying to age myself up.
You're anticipating a little bit.
- I am?
- A little bit.
Ready?
Yeah, please.
All right, here.
- What are you doing?
- I'm taking it off.
- You're taking it off?
- I'm taking it right off.
Did I tell you Audrey
made me a good-luck cake?
What's going on? This is like
the unhealthiest relationship.
It's the unhealthiest non-relationship.
And then I came home and she was there.
I came to your house and she was there!
Why did you not tell me that
you guys were hanging out?
Well, I wasn't trying to,
like, hide it from you.
I mean, I was trying to hide it from you,
but it just wasn't a big deal.
I mean, we ran into each other one day
and the next thing you
know, we're like, laughing
about how miserable dating can be.
And it was good to just be friends.
But there are rules, like,
when you break up, there are rules
that you have to follow that...
- About how the break-up goes.
- Yeah, but we spent time apart.
We were both dating other people,
so it's not like we weren't...
You know, it's not like we were trying to
get back together or anything,
we were just hanging out.
You guys were barely dating other
people, it hadn't been that long.
We were best friends.
I got this girl here in Boston
and when we're going to the wedding there,
there's a girl named Seema
that I really want him to meet her.
Did you tell him already?
No, I'm gonna call him and let him know,
but I just wanted to let you know,
But I think, since we are
going to be there anyway,
it would be nice to meet with her.
I remember, Mom calls
me up and she goes,
"My prince, big wedding season.
"My prince, hit the girls."
Beginning of wedding season!
If the sky that we look upon
Should tumble and fall
And the mountains should
crumble to the sea
But, how are we going to set
it up, let's talk about it.
- It's not going to happen automatically.
- Yeah.
No, no, no, do not do that,
that's where you guys go too far,
I'm telling you I'm gonna take care of it.
I don't want you guys jumping in
and getting all these
other people involved,
that's when it becomes embarrassing.
We're not going to do anything
you don't want us to do.
Okay? It's given.
Okay, just, then relax, then. We're done.
When you talk to her,
she may not know why
you are talking to her.
Don't be shy, talk to her, man.
We'll support you, my dear, don't worry...
- We'll support you.
- You are my son.
I'm telling you, you guys are
treating me like I'm, like,
socially retarded, I'm...
I'm very good socially.
Ravi, you are socially good,
except when it comes to marriage.
Marriage, right.
Don't just look at her and
say "Oh, I don't like her."
I don't do that.
You guys think I do that, but you just...
you're so desperate for me to like someone
that you don't trust
when I make my own choices
and I give everyone a fair chance.
To like somebody, you've
got to get to know somebody.
I'm saying at least talk to the person.
Why do you love Mom and Dad?
Because you've been with
them for all these years.
So if you...
- Take a little interest...
- Okay.
...and you know what will happen,
if nothing, let's say you do not like,
you may say that, "Oh, my
friend might be right for her."
- Ah.
- Introduce to a friend.
This is the most unnecessary pep speech
I've ever gotten in my life.
Yeah. Okay, let's go.
Geeta, are we done, my dear?
Yeah I did.
I don't like her.
What do you mean how do
you know, you just know.
I don't like her.
So, put your camera away.
Was that Mom?
I told Mom and Dad, I'm
like, "Hey, she's great,
"like, she's a really great person, but,
"I'm not really into her."
Mmm-hmm.
You know, in that way.
By no fault of her own, I'm just...
Yeah.
You know and, uh...
they're like, "Well,
just, just talk to her."
And I'm like, okay, but,
I mean, I'll talk to her,
But, like, it's just weird.
Mmm-hmm.
Like, I'm supposed to
call her now on Friday
and it's just like, ugh.
- I am so afraid of hurting other people's feelings.
- Me too!
Like, I feel really bad, like,
she's like a great girl,
and I don't want her to
think that I'm rejecting her.
Because that's not really what it is.
Yeah. You guys have it harder
because you have to
actually approach the women.
Or, you know, culturally, that's...
It's easy for women, women just have to be.
You just have to be. And...
Then... ugh.
You know what? I realized it's not easy,
because I thought we just had to be,
but I think that's why I'm single
because I didn't know this
whole eye contact thing,
like, you have to actually
- allow someone...
- What's the eye contact thing?
Well, I don't really...
I never did eye contact
growing up, like you have...
We have to give you guys a signal that,
"Yeah, we're interested."
Or like, "Yeah, I at least
acknowledge that you exist."
If a girl's looking around,
you have to look right at her,
which is really scary.
Well, what's the difference
between that and staring?
'Cause I know how to stare.
I'm excited because
Ravi promised me five grandkids.
You appear to be not promising,
but sort of leaning towards three.
Which makes it a potential eight.
Ravi gave me, one five-year time period.
Guaranteed, almost.
You are noncommittal.
But I assume same time period.
Hey, listen.
It's been easy sailing until now.
Life is a commitment.
- So you have to make some commitments.
- Mmm.
Hello.
Hello.
- What's up?
- Someone didn't come home last night.
Yeah.
You're an idiot.
What?
What?
Were you at Audrey's?
We didn't do nothing, we just fell asleep.
Well, she cooked me, we like, made dinner,
then we watched a movie and fell asleep.
Okay.
So.
So are you going to get
back together with her?
Audrey and I met
when we both worked in the same bar,
and we had been friends
for a few years.
But all of a sudden, we
started hanging out a lot,
and then one night she
came over to watch a movie,
and that was when things, you know,
started to get a little weird.
You know, towards, as the movie went on,
we'd slowly kinda cuddle a little bit
but in very non-committal
cuddling, so our toes,
like I think our feet started
getting closer together
and then next thing you know, our legs...
I was so nervous that I was like,
I remember I was stuttering a lot, "Um...
"Do, do you think we should,
um, like we should uh, like,
"this is, like, this is weird right?"
And she was looking at me
and then she just goes...
And of course, to me, the
bury-the-head-in-the-pillow
was like a bad sign
because that's the only way
I'm willing to interpret
any situation with a girl,
is like rejection.
She was really nervous too.
I was like, should we start
dating or something, or...
And she was like, "Yeah, I guess,"
and then I walked her to her car,
and I'm saying bye, and
like, this is the first time
it's been this kind of a bye.
I was like, "Well, should we kiss?"
She goes like, "Yeah, I guess,"
and then we go in and it's like a kiss,
and it is the worst kiss
in the history of kisses.
Like it was disgusting, you know,
because it was so forced and uncomfortable
and we were friends.
Any man would have handled
that better than me, I think.
And so there was a lot
of just self-loathing.
- Right.
- And at the same time,
I don't remember ever feeling
that level of exhilaration
in terms of happiness and just excitement
that this was happening.
Even though you had a bad kiss too?
But the second one was incredible.
My sister has her
son living with her
and she has three kids, grandkids,
and I don't know how to tell you,
it's very rewarding, peaceful,
I tell you they are just simply,
I call them they are happy,
happy, happy family, you know.
But what can I say, America is different.
And that's the only thing
I regret about myself
that I wish I didn't come that early
because my kids would have
been maybe somewhat different,
and I could have had a similar
life to what my family has.
Family-wise, staying
together and all that.
Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah,
because they came later on in the life,
so their beliefs are different.
When I came to United States,
there were not Indians,
so you know, we had to compromise the life
and we did, and uh,
and when you compromise, you
pay the price for it, you know.
And that is the price we are paying for it
right now, I think.
We're happy, though!
- We're happy.
- And we are gonna be happy,
we are gonna be just as happy as them.
We are happy. We are different,
but we are happy, yeah.
Hey, Ma.
Yeah, there's serious
interest, send it to me.
Okay.
Ma, ah...
Mom, Mom, do you guys remember
the conversation we had
about you guys sending me girls
that are, that are American?
Okay, okay, okay.
She's from India, she's
overweight, and she's an engineer?
- Yeah.
- That's not the best pitch.
If the bio-data thing doesn't work,
if the Internet dating doesn't work,
if you're still not able
to meet her at a wedding,
or say a motel owners expo,
there's still one last shot
at meeting the perfect Patel girl.
The Patel convention.
People get together for two or three days
and purpose was to bring
their boy and a girl,
children together,
and they have programs
and dance and speeches
and all that, basically
to see if you can find...
Just like a business expo.
We have a sheet and you're going
to go to people of the opposite sex
and you're gonna go introduce yourself
- and go see if they can fill out a box.
- Okay.
There's already one marriage out of it,
somebody that met last
year is already married
and there's another
couple that's almost there.
1:30 to 5:00, Icebreakers.
Three and a half hours of icebreakers!
I can't think of a more efficient
way to meet women though.
I rarely meet Indian girls
that I like talking to.
I'm getting in the practice
of like, pursuing women,
which, unfortunately,
I'm almost 30 years old
and I really genuinely
feel like I'm bad at it.
Well, you're Indian,
you're not going to be good.
So if a girl has Georgia
and a boy has Atlanta,
you guys match up, okay?
I hope you guys know
your states and capitals.
I don't like how I look.
My hair, I look ridiculous.
Geeta, this is fine, right?
- Mmm-hmm.
- It is, right?
Why doesn't anyone tell
me how stupid I look?
Did you see any guys down
there you like, Geets?
No.
A bunch of Indians in business casual,
they probably just thought it's
like an engineering conference.
They've got to think it's
absolutely fascinating.
I'm sure they're all just
in there making faces.
Yeah, they're white, they don't get it.
We have to kind of do one of these.
They don't get it.
It's like, required.
"They're white, they don't get it."
- Hey, I'm Ravi.
- LA!
- Yeah.
- Anisha.
Hey, I'm Ravi. Hey,
I'm Ravi. Hey, I'm Ravi.
Hey, I'm Ravi. Hey, I'm Ravi.
I try to stay away from Canada
- as much as possible.
- Why?
My mom and dad keep on
calling me over and over again.
This is exhausting, isn't it?
...animal sounds.
Is that what you do? You just find
other people making your noise?
- Meow.
- Meow.
Oh yeah. Hey, I'm Ravi.
Anisha. Nice to meet you.
- Are you good at this?
- No.
Hey, I'm Ravi, oh wait, we already met.
Nice to meet you too.
Nice to meet you too.
This is fun. It's weird and
fun at the same time, yeah.
Yeah, I think we should
do this all the time.
This is great, wait, what's next?
I... um.
I mean, I emailed him and
he didn't email me back.
It's that simple.
What are you going through?
Mom, but that's not true.
"Ravi, this is my first problem,
"our friendship isn't
based on friendship anymore.
"I wish it were. Our friendship
is based, at least on my part,
"in my hope that we will work out.
"I will be honest with you,
"I don't have an interest
in just being your friend,
"I have an interest in being your partner,
"I have an interest in
making sure you're happy
"and healthy and moving
forward in your life,
"but I have an interest
in doing that by your side.
"I'm not trying to be dramatic
or emotional, just practical.
"I wish more than anything
that we could be just friends,
"but I think at this
point, it's impossible.
"I need to remove you from my life.
"It's too difficult for me to
move forward if you are around.
"I'll always be grateful
for the friendship and love
"we were able to have."
Oh, man.
I don't know how I could handle, like,
not being friends with her,
that's the toughest part for me.
I know it's immature on my part but like,
you know, like, I think I could,
I really think I could, I could, I could,
not be with her and be okay.
You know?
Did you love her?
I think so, I don't really
have anything else to...
But yeah, I mean, like...
Like, what's love?
I don't know what love
is, that's why, I mean.
I don't know. I know that, you know...
I know that...
I know that I care a lot about her
and she cares a lot about me
and we know each other inside out,
and, she makes me a better
person in so many ways.
That weekend, we went and
visited a bunch of family
in Iowa, and they're all,
you know, vintage Patels.
They all live under the same roof
- as their parents with their kids.
- Yeah.
You know, in fact,
our cousins represent
what Mom and Dad wanted us to be.
For both of you, it's time to get married.
It said in the Scriptures
that you should marry early
so your mind is fixated
on a certain individual
before it starts fluttering away.
I was looking around,
and our extended family represents
a version of life that I
always thought I would have,
and for the first time
I was starting to doubt
whether or not that's
what I'd end up with.
But then I was also scared of,
in the pursuit of all these things,
ending up alone.
I think, first thing we should talk about
is how much do you respect this process
that parents or whoever
can screen and can do it?
I have a ton of respect for
the process, in fact, I...
Are you giving that respect
when we say, "Meet this girl"?
No, because I don't...
And if you don't meet,
if that respect is not
understood by the children
and children casually throw,
"Oh, I don't like this, I don't click."
That is when I tell Mom,
I say, "You know what, forget it,
"we are not going to do this."
Because they think we found
these online somewhere at random
that we don't know anything about this
and that we throw them because we
want to get them married in hurry
and we don't care who
they get married with.
I really believe, my prince,
you are not being fair to yourself.
You are not giving yourself enough chance,
you are not giving your life a fair chance.
It is a mindset.
We don't have the same mindset you do,
and honestly, I don't
even have the same mindset.
That is why, Geeta, you are not married,
and I'm telling you the reasoning.
If you are ready to know
that why Geeta is not married,
why other people are getting married
then I'm going to tell you
the differences, my dear,
that the other girls are in
the mindset to get married,
they don't want to just reject right away.
They want to get to know
people, they meet second time,
they talk to them on the phone,
they just don't go on and
on, rejecting like you,
"No, no, no, not this".
My point is not getting
married and staying single
is the biggest loser you can be.
I said yes to him, but
when I did say yes...
I didn't say yes, I said, "Yes,
I guess", when he asked me.
"Yeah, I guess," you
said. You didn't say yes.
He's like, "Will you
marry me?" and I'm like...
You said, "I'm gonna throw up",
and then you said, "Yeah, I guess".
But I did marry him twice.
One Catholic wedding and one Sikh wedding.
Yeah, we did two weddings.
So we, that was the
beginning of our compromise.
Like I walked down the
aisle wearing a white dress
to, Here Comes the Bride,
like, literally, laughing the whole time
because I thought it was so absurd.
I came down a street
on a horse, wearing a
turban, carrying a sword.
Pete's Catholic, so we said
that our kids will be baptized.
And I negotiated the communion,
- but I couldn't get confirmation.
- Confirmation.
She said that was brainwashing. It's CCD.
I don't know if I said brainwashing.
- You said brainwashing, you really did,
- Oh, okay.
And quite honestly,
I'm still hoping we can
open up that conversation
and continue the negotiation down the road.
Honestly, I don't know
much about Catholicism.
- I got you 'Catholicism For Dummies.'
- I got it, I know,
I haven't finished reading my
'Catholicism For Dummies.'
We don't thank Jesus, we thank God.
- We thank God, because we both share God...
- 'Cause Jesus isn't God really.
You have Guru Nanak, I have Jesus.
But see they're gurus,
both Jesus and Guru Nanak,
They're both gurus, they're not Gods.
Dude, you can't call Jesus a guru.
- I think he's...
- He's not a guru.
Have yourself a merry
little Christmas
You have no messages.
Let your heart be light
From now on
Our troubles will
be out of sight
Isn't this a cute picture, Ravi?
Have you guys ever considered
getting a clothesline?
Why do you think we can
afford a million dollar house?
Because we don't waste money.
I love this picture.
This is like the closest
an Indian picture ever gets to kissing.
This would be considered
obscene by some people.
Geeta. Hey, this is Geeta.
And this is Geeta.
And this is Geeta.
I waited until you left for the gym,
because I knew we could
not do this on camera,
and I didn't want to run
the risk of you being around.
So, Mom and Dad were
both in the kitchen,
Mom was cooking, Dad
was reading at a table.
And I just sat down, and I said,
"Hey, I need to tell
you guys something.
"And I don't know any
other way to say this,
"but before we went to India,
"I had been dating this
girl for two years.
"And I never told you about
her and I'm sorry about that.
"But we broke up just
before the trip."
Then Dad looks up,
and asks "Well, wait,
"so all this bio-data
stuff, this was a lie?"
I told him,
"No, we broke up, but every
time I went on a date,
"I think I was comparing
them to Audrey."
Mom was just staring at the floor.
And then, she goes, "Well,
do you still love her?"
And I just said, "I don't know."
And then, that's when you came home.
Dad, how's your trip going? Turn around.
Trip is going terrific.
We are having great time, Geeta.
Very good time.
Mom, how's your trip going?
Mom, the way I look at the way
you're handling this right now,
is... I consider the way you're handling
this... Put that camera down right now!
There's a mature way...
I know your mom.
And you know how great a person she is.
She is emotionally just...
Taken away, and she is very emotional.
And she'll come around.
I really trust both of
you guys for the decisions.
I may disagree,
I may do different things,
but who are we that we always
know what is right, you know?
We don't know always what is right.
After I told them about
Audrey, they were...
In shock.
You know, Dad was coping with
it, we were communicating,
but with Mom, it got really bad.
She barely spoke with you during that time.
Her and I couldn't seem to
communicate, and I don't...
I mean, I don't think it was coincidental,
I mean, we just started fighting.
About everything, like, little things,
and I was home one day and...
I just kind of sat her down and I was like,
"What is this, what's happening?"
I was like, "I don't understand, like
I feel like I can't make you happy
"with anything I do, and I just
don't feel like I'm your son anymore."
She says, "You know, it's not that
you might not marry an Indian girl.
"It's that you lied to me for so long.
"That you could do that."
And I just said I was sorry,
and that I won't lie to you again.
Okay.
All right. Okay?
Okay.
I used to think that the way
I was feeling, my struggle,
was because of them.
And then one day they came to
visit me and I started crying,
I was just like, you know,
"I don't even date any guys,
"I don't do anything, and I feel
so... Like my hands are tied."
I said, "I feel like I
have to marry an Indian."
Dad stopped me and he said,
"I want you to know that
no matter what you do,
"we love you and we'll accept it."
And he said, "Nothing matters
more to me than you being happy."
I thought that I would feel different.
I thought that I would feel
like the weight had been lifted.
And when I drove home,
the weight was still there.
And I realized that it
wasn't them, it was me.
I was scared
that if I married a white guy,
even if it was okay with them,
that somehow, I would
be letting myself down.
Don't give me too much food, Mom.
Okay.
You want vaal, my prince? You want chole?
Mom, you're like a traveling...
You're like a food truck.
Like world hunger progr...
- Ten minutes, okay.
- You want tuvaro?
- Mmm. Yeah.
- Tuvaro? Okay.
You want samosas?
No, I'm okay right now.
You're okay, so I'm
giving you samosas then.
Give her some, okay? Because
I know she will like it.
Ravi...
This whole year...
You met different girls from all over,
and I really want to know,
what have you learned?
You know, when we were
doing this, you know,
it was very much about
finding that Patel girl,
but I honestly, like, I
don't... after doing all this,
the one thing I feel like I've learned
is that I don't... I don't need that.
You know? I mean, I still
want that, but I don't need...
What do you mean?
Well, like, I don't need her to be...
- Indian.
- Yeah, I don't need her to be Indian.
Mom, what would you think?
Mom, what would you think if I ended
up with a girl who wasn't Indian,
but she's Indian in
every way that you want?
She has a beautiful family and
she's a family-oriented person,
and she loves me and she loves you guys.
If she learns how to cook Indian food
with you and you love hanging out with her?
Are you cool with it?
Are you cool with her
just not being Indian?
I would just love whoever you
fall in love with, my dear.
- I would be just happy...
- I would be happy.
...the one you find.
- And I mean it, too.
- So, Ravi...
I just want you to get
married now. Seriously.
Bottom line is, go and get married.
Make a decision.
Time is running by...
Let me tell you one thing,
with the girl you get married,
you will never know her enough.
Never know enough.
Even after 35 years of marriage...
- He still doesn't know me.
- It's still a discovery.
So if you think, "I
want to know her enough,"
that's an impo... that's why you get married,
and that's the fun of getting married,
because you keep discovering.
Yeah.
You know, after 35
years we tell each other,
"Oh, you don't understand me."
Now, after 35 years,
I don't understand her.
You're gonna know somebody in two years?
I do, I tell him that.
- What do you say, Mom?
- And you know what, Ravi? After 35 years...
She goes, "I do, I tell him that."
Ravi, after 35 years...
She's still trying to change me.
- And I keep telling her.
- And you, too!
- Let's not have one way here.
- Okay.
- So...
- Thank you.
Every day,
"You should have done that," and,
"You should be not doing this,"
and he should be doing this,
I should not be doing this.
And how do you handle this?
And I'm like, "Go to sleep."
That's right.
L is for the way you look at me
O is for the only one I see
V is very, very
extraordinary
Let me catch you up to speed.
In December, I broke up with Audrey.
He needs therapy.
I then went to India,
then back to America,
then did some bio-dating...
Don't do anything sneaky with the camera.
...Internet dating,
marriage conventions...
Meow!
...and weddings.
Don't be shy, talk to her, man.
The next December, I told
my parents the truth.
In March, I started yet
another dating system.
The "Ravi dates whoever makes him happy,
kind of like a normal person" system.
Um...
I think part of the problem
was I was carrying this
picture around in my head
of who I was going to marry,
when really, that's
just not how it works.
It was time to just allow the world
to put that picture together for me.
And it worked.
I found the girl that
I really, really liked,
and for the first time I could
see what I really wanted.
I liked her, and I had to
beg her to like me back.
You really begged.
Well, it was the only option.
- Like, you really begged.
- Yeah, we get it. Okay.
You really begged.
Do you want me to say something?
It was great, I was starting
a relationship truthfully
for the first time.
And just letting it be
whatever it was going to be.
That said, Mom and Dad still didn't
understand the concept of dating.
Okay. Geeta!
Can you stop the camera now, Geeta?
Yeah, turn that off, please. It just...
Yeah, Geeta, there's no reason for it now.
Oh, my God!
How did it go?
Just be yourself!
What's the big deal? It's just a camera!
How does it make you feel? Dad, tell me,
how does it make you feel
that Geeta just went on a date?
Geeta, tell me, what is love?
- No, that's fine...
But we both need to talk into it so
maybe, put it in the middle of us.
Wait, not with your headphones because
you're going to be yelling otherwise.
- Oh, right.
- You got your headphones on
and you got this
thing in your hand...
...and you're like,
"I'll hold this."
How do we, uh, how do we wanna do this?
Do you wanna... should I just...
Just, just start at the
beginning of the story.
Right, so...
So you know, when I think
about our extended family
- I always felt like growing up, I was the odd man out.
- Mmm-hmm.
But now I think it's all relative.
Like, you know, my entire life,
I got made fun of for having a big nose.
People called me Gonzo.
So I always thought this nose was
kind of my obstacle to greatness.
And then recently, I was
getting fitted for a hat
- as an actor.
- Mmm-hmm.
And the guy goes...
"You have an unusually small head."
After all these years, I find
out that my nose was perfect.
It was my head that was small!
Wait, how did...
See what I'm saying? So like,
you know, like, in
terms of the family
maybe I'm not the one
who's out of place,
maybe it was an analogy...
Rav, can you just get...
Start the story. So, start,
start it with the trip to India.
Right. So, story starts two years ago.
Here in LA,
I had just broken up with Audrey
and I was miserable.
We'd been together for two years
and I had never told
Mom and Dad about her,
in fact, they were freaking out
because you know, here I was,
almost thirty, never married,
which in our culture is like...
- Code red.
- Code red!
And to make things worse,
two weeks after this breakup,
I had to go on our annual
family trip to India.
My dear, when are you
going to get married?
You know, the later you
show up to a restaurant,
the more limited the menu.
My prince, you're killing us.
Zone two? No?
Do you want us to die
without the grandchildren?
You know, Champa, I don't even
think he wants to get married!
Don't do what Geeta did to us.
You and your sister can't
live together forever!
If he wanted to get married...
He would be married!
You know that girl
in Eat, Pray, Love,
you know, she goes
through a break-up,
goes on the existential
journey to India
to get over depression,
find out what she
really wanted in life?
I was that girl.
Except, my family was
with me the entire time.
The entire time.
- Let's go, Geeta!
- Geets, come on!
Ahhh!
Oh, you have to buy one now,
the guy's been working...
Four, five.
Hey!
I look too sexy for this.
And behind the camera
was you, sister.
Yeah.
Documentary filmmaker, but by
no means a cinematographer.
That's why for the
next hour and a half,
we will be treated to
footage that is out of focus,
poorly framed,
and often has a microphone in
the upper right hand corner.
We are having a great time with the family.
Next time, we are going to
come with the grandchildren.
Here's the thing. In
Mom and Dad's eyes,
I had never had a girlfriend
and I had no idea how
to get a girlfriend.
Right.
So in their mind, it's like,
"Hey, we're going to
India, it's our last chance
"and maybe we can get him to
get married the way we did."
Why do our marriages
survive at a higher rate
than the American marriage
when you say, "I have
to be falling in love,
"and it has to click."
Where you know the girl
for a year or two the way Americans do
and still 50% of the marriages fail,
- the reason is compatibility, value, the belief.
- Yeah.
Like we got married, me and Mom,
I only talked to her 10 minutes.
Does that mean you think
that works for me as well?
- Absolutely!
- Absolutely.
- If you ask me, 100%, I believe...
- Yeah.
...from the bottom of the
heart, not even a doubt.
Everything affects our thinking and liking
whether you are going to put
up with the person or not,
if your, if her food habits are different.
Food habits is the first reason?
No, no, I'm giving you a reason at random.
You want to focus on a girl
who has same value in the life
and have been raised same way you have,
and especially keeping in
mind the religion is same.
Now, we're not saying
every Indian family is good for you.
That is why we select.
You had to check the
family and the background
because you only get 10
minutes to meet the person.
Whereas I'm saying, you date the person.
- You get a better sense of who a person is...
- No, no, no...
...by spending time with that person
than by finding out who their family is.
- That's why there's a matchmaking.
- Aha!
If this girl is good with that boy
but that boy is good with this girl,
so everybody is good,
everybody gets married at the end.
All the girls and all the boys get married.
What would be the downside
of me marrying a white girl?
A white girl, a white girl?
Let's say American, let's
say a white American girl.
Here's where it gets
a little tricky...
I have a huge family,
all last name Patel.
And here's the thing, they're
all married to Patels.
See, these are the
rules of being a Patel,
you're supposed to marry
someone who's also named Patel.
Now, it's not incest. It's...
it's like a caste thing.
It means... uh,
that they're from this
small little region of India.
Where we come from,
actually our hometown's
probably, I want to say 90%...
Eighty to 90% Patel...
...is Patels.
The story starts she's from Anand.
I am from Dharmaj.
My brother got married to her sister.
I was only 18, she was 14.
We decided that both families, you know,
liked each other.
And then we were told that we are going to
meet each other at this person's house
and our parents were waiting outside
and we went in the room
and given five minutes to take care of it.
We had a guy in the middle of
us so there's no hanky-panky.
In India,
the girls don't have much
of a say in those days.
Girls have to get married
to who their parents say,
so I said, "No, that's not fair."
I said, "If you have anything in your mind,
"you want to marry
someone else, let me know,
"and I will say no.
"So that way, you don't have to say no."
I went back and told my family,
I said, "This is the girl I want to marry."
It took five minutes though... Right?
We never said anything, just
hi, hello, and that's it.
Let's get married.
And let's get married.
- Right.
- Right?
And I'm supposed to get a girl from where?
Ideally.
It's a triangle. That
would be ideal for Patel.
Uh-huh.
So if I found a girl from this,
- Kapadvanj in Kheda...
- Hmm.
Oh, you're shaking your head
already, that's way too far?
How far apart do they have
to be for it to be justified?
Well, usually there should be no relation.
Because everyone is probably still,
a lot of these people
are probably still related
way down the road.
I'm pretty sure they are at some point,
but I don't know that much history of it.
Before we go any further,
let me just take you back.
Take it from the top,
one, two, three...
India 1945, Dad entered the world.
Twenty-two years later,
Dad's entire village
pooled their money to
send him to America.
You know I came to America with
eight dollars in my pocket?
That's all, that's all I had.
Look at me now.
1967, Dad enrolled at Michigan Tech.
He and six other guys from India
shared one room and
one bank account.
You know, I had to look up
every word in the dictionary,
every word.
Having a weak English lexicon left me feeling
lugubrious, acrimonious, cantankerous.
I'm sorry, am I being superfluous?
Look at me now!
1972, Dad's dad called
him and told him...
It's time to get married!
Dad flew to India, got
an arranged marriage,
came back with Mom.
You know some people they date,
then they get married?
We did it opposite.
Look at me now.
I don't know how they fell in love,
but they are the happiest
couple I've ever seen.
- 1975, you were born...
- Yup.
Three years later, I was born.
I had a very happy childhood,
but the older I got,
the more I lived a double life.
At home, I was Indian
Ravi, I spoke Gujarati,
hung out with Indians,
I watched Indian movies.
Outside the house,
I was American Ravi.
Hi, Ma!
I spoke English, hung
out with Americans,
watched American movies...
My, my dating history is short.
Growing up, dating wasn't allowed.
In fact, if a girl
ever called the house,
- there was an interrogation afterwards.
- Right.
The expectations were clear,
I was gonna have a
perfect Indian wife.
She'd be a wonderful
mother, a great cook,
that was the plan.
So I was shocked
when the first girl I
really fell for was...
Hey, we're on hayride.
A redhead from Connecticut.
Doe, a dear a female deer.
Audrey was my first and
only girlfriend, ever.
Okay, I look a little weird
because, um, I'm on night vision.
We're gonna get in trouble!
You're really high up!
You know, we were pretty serious.
Um, Madonna, Snoop Doggy Dog,
oh, he's a, he's a painter,
he's a computer guy?
What?
She has so many amazing qualities.
I mean, just that she could
dance at a drop of a hat
for no reason.
She has a lot of sensibilities
that most 50-year-old
mothers have...
She loves a good how-to book.
- Any puppy videos...
- Aww.
If there's a video online
where people are crying,
she's watching it
and she's crying too.
I mean, we were
together for two years,
and it definitely felt like,
"Okay, it's time to tell Mom
and Dad that she exists."
That was good, right?
But somehow, there was still
something else inside me,
like in my gut, that just didn't sit well,
and I didn't really know what it was.
Is there a term for it, the Indian Problem?
I said, "Look, I just can't
live this double life anymore.
"You know, I... I can't hide
this relationship from my parents,
"it's not fair to you or them."
And I, I don't know, I
just couldn't do it anymore.
So...
We broke up.
It's not the idea of marrying
a girl that's a problem,
I, 100%, I would get married...
You know, I'm 29, I want to be married,
but for me specifically, I don't want to...
You know, doing it like a job interview.
In a best-case scenario,
I think I could marry a girl
six months after meeting her.
Hey, that was different though, man.
No, no, no, no.
I know the process!
No, no, no, no.
Right.
It gets me stressed out
just thinking about it.
I think I just never questioned
that I would find the girl I want
and I would find her in kind
of a normal, American way,
like in the movies...
- Ray!
- Excuse me
- In the middle of nowhere...
- Can I help you?
it would be romantic...
You complete me...
You had me at hello...
And I wouldn't need my
parents to do it for me,
cause it's pathetic!
- I mean, they're setting up the dates.
- Right.
In my case, they're probably,
texting me in the middle of it.
And then you're waiting to find out
whether you get a second date,
not from her but from Mom and Dad.
From Mom and Dad.
It's like, it's like exactly the
relationship I have with my acting agents.
Like they'll call me up and be like...
My prince, my prince,
darling, baby, good news.
Talked to Seema's parents,
looks like they want to
bring you in for a callback!
Vasant, coffee!
So here's the deal, it's
going to be Friday night,
you're going to take her to Chinese.
Now listen, they love
you. Don't do anything new.
Same stuff.
Nothing tricky,
we're hearing it's between
you and two guys named Raj.
All right? Oh and, hey, Ravi, good luck,
don't blow it. Hit the girls.
- So the next stop was Dad's village.
- Right...
There's literally a pile
of crap everywhere you go,
they need to figure out how
to potty-train the cows, right?
Dad's village is like
the belly of the beast.
Right, cause we are
related to everybody.
Yeah, and they all immediately
had one question...
Imagine the most annoying
person in your family,
who's kinda always in your business,
asking all sorts of questions
and you're trying to just
get out of the situation.
Now imagine an entire village
filled with that person.
Like in The Matrix,
you know where that bad guy
is, like, multiplying
over and over again.
Dad's one of the most
respected people I know,
but Mom might be an even bigger deal
because she is known
as a matchmaker.
So it's a huge failure in Mom's eyes
that her own kids aren't married,
and she's the best in the business.
December's actually
wedding season in India,
meaning Indians from
all over the world
come to India, not just
to meet each other, but...
- To marry... Yeah.
- To marry each other.
Everyone except for us.
No.
No.
Wow!
When too many people like us
are telling you that, my
prince, this thing works,
at least you need to close
your eyes, one day, for 24 hours
and think, all these
people are telling you.
And think that there could be some truth.
The whole world cannot be wrong.
Yeah, the whole world
cannot be wrong, my prince.
I remember sitting there, and I'm
looking at Mom and Dad on stage
and, you know, this charity,
that... And this whole event
which is put on just
because of their own efforts
and, you know, it reminded me
just how much I love our family
and how much I love our culture.
Where we're from.
Yeah, you know, when I have kids,
I kinda wanted them to
have the same feeling,
the same experience.
And grow up the way we did.
Yeah, and go on trips
like, like these.
Yeah.
And that's when it all
became clear to me that,
you know, maybe that's why
I had broken up with Audrey,
because, you know, I wanted this.
So what happened? What changed your mind?
I guess I had this realization that...
whenever in my head I imagined
who it was that I was gonna marry,
it was this Indian girl.
Yet, here I was, almost 30
and I hadn't found one yet,
and I started doing the math.
I mean, when we were
in India, it was like,
looking around, there's
Indians everywhere,
those guys have it easy.
But I live in America,
and here I am looking
for an Indian girl,
who's Gujarati, and
Patel more specifically.
- And single.
- And female, by the way,
and all these other normal things
that people look for,
cute, smart, funny.
And she has to love you.
She has to love me,
I have to love her,
we have to find each other.
- I mean, there's a lot of odds stacked against me.
- Right.
And then here Dad was saying, "Trust me,
"this is gonna work," and
I was like, ya know what?
- Maybe, maybe I'm being close-minded.
- Right.
This system has worked
for so many people...
People that are like me.
I'm so happy!
Little punk.
Dashing through the snow
In a one-horse open sleigh
O'er the fields we
go Laughing all the way
Bells on bob-tail
ring Making spirits bright
What fun it is to ride and
sing a sleighing song tonight
National Lampoon Comedy Radio
XM 154, back in the studio,
uh, people aren't normally
invited back so quickly
but I... I love him, I do,
uh Ravi Patel, welcome back.
I have missed you so.
You're first generation?
I'm first generation,
you know, it's a generally strict culture,
specifically the kind of Indian
that I am, which is Gujarati.
I'd say about 50% of the
Indians that you meet in America
are Gujarati, Patels, Patel's a very com...
There are... I know a lot of Patels.
Yeah, Patel's very common,
- like, my name, Ravi Patel is like John Smith.
- Right!
Patels are hardcore, and
there's so many of you.
They're useless vegetarians,
you're physically small humans.
The first word that
came to mind was "cheap."
Patels own motels or own hotels
or, you know, 7-Elevens.
If I pay to stay somewhere,
it's purely as a result of me
not making enough phone calls.
You know, it's really like
Gujarati people in America are
often the working class
in India that came over.
I came to America actually in December '67.
When our children came to a marriage age,
there was a need for
some kind of matchmaking,
girl to a boy.
This book gives the names and addresses
of all the 24 villages.
- And these are all Patels! All Patels.
- Oh yeah. All Patels.
Problem is, all the Patels who came,
they are spread all over
50 states in America.
How do you still follow the same system
that was workable back
home in the small area
but not workable here
because of the geographic,
you know, the distance.
So what happened?
What happened is they
invented the bio-data.
The bio-data is a sheet
of paper, like a resume,
that the parents pass around
to help them make
an informed decision
when they're making matches.
Nobody writes their own bio-data.
It's done by committee
and it's a very rosy picture of yourself
that really isn't you.
I never gave my mom an
actual physical bio-data,
I refused, I was like,
I'm not going to resume
myself out on a piece of paper,
and she's like, "Give me a resume,"
and so I sent her my work resume.
I've never seen mine,
I've never, 'cause I
just don't want to know.
I go to a wedding and I run into this lady.
She's like, "Oh, my God,
come sit down next to me,
"you are just... you're so wonderful,
"and gosh, you know, had your dad
"sent a better picture of you,
"you could have been
my daughter-in-law."
And I'm like...
Here's what's on my bio-data,
date of birth, height, weight,
occupation, education, hobbies,
and then there's stuff
I have no interest in,
like parent's location
and work history,
sibling location and work history,
horoscope, caste, skin complexion,
there's "wheatish brown,"
I think I've seen "almond brown."
It's like the lighter you are,
the more attractive you are.
They talk about the homely,
wheatish complexion girl,
I mean, it's a running joke.
Well, one, the word homely is used wrong.
Hey, Hasmukh, what's up?
Listen, got your daughter's bio-data,
oh, great job, I mean, PhD. Really?
Okay, see, here's the thing.
Um, Raj is more of a wheatish brown,
he's just, yeah, he's just had a good life,
and we've kept him out
of the sun on purpose.
So good to talk to you,
and good luck with that
dark daughter of yours...
Congrats again on the PhD, great job.
So after I gave Mom
and Dad my bio-data,
they could officially release
it into the marketplace.
Within weeks, my bio-data
was in the hands of uncles,
aunts, family friends
and complete strangers.
Now while my bio-data
was circulating out there
in the marketplace, Mom and Dad
were simultaneously receiving
other people's bio-datas.
Then what they do is filter
them based on what type of women
they think would be
a good fit for me.
Looks good, so I'm going to
forward this to Ravi, okay?
And by the end of January,
I got my first batch of bio-datas.
Dad sent me 20 bio-datas,
so basically, 20 pictures and resumes
of matrimonial candidates,
which is totally normal. Right?
This is the one I like the most,
she's 28, she's 5'4", 124 pounds...
Is she getting one of these of you?
I would imagine, yeah.
And can she also veto
or give the thumbs-up?
Yeah, this is her preferences,
oh, they have a preferences
section at the bottom.
- Ooh!
- "Hindu, Gujarati speaking,
"must have moderate family
and religious values.
"Preferences: Academic
or professional career."
I don't know how I got this.
Now, phone-call phase is,
it's straight up cold-calling,
"Hey, my name is Ravi,
"my mother Champa
gave me your bio-data,
"which was given to her by Kokila-bhen
"who was given to her by Mahendra-bhai
"who happens to be your uncle, I think."
I love that I get to watch this.
This is so weird.
I mean, wait, so when I'm talking to you
during the date at some point,
I'm gonna talk to you, right?
No, why would you talk
to me during the date?
- Just pretend you're not there the whole time?
- Yeah! What, Ravi...
That's how this is done, I'm supposed
to pretend like you're not there.
You're just having a date,
I'm just filming. This whole...
That's not "just anything," that's weird.
That's just weird.
I'm a little nervous, this
is like uh, really weird.
- I'm nervous too, okay, you're not the only one.
- Okay, good.
Do you want a drink, by the way?
- Are you gonna get one?
- Yeah.
Like, I've played a doctor like, 30 times.
- Really? Typical.
- Yeah.
Yeah, I know, it's the next
best thing for my parents.
- I have a lot of um, Asian friends,
- Okay.
so we'll go like dinner,
karaoke... It's so much fun.
Wait, hold on, time out, why do
you have so many Asian friends?
Well, I started off as
a computer science major.
I love chocolate, but what girl doesn't?
I'm a big... I'm a big chocolate fan.
You like chocolate too.
My parents love talking
about blood pressure,
forever they've always been talking, BP,
what's your BP?
Yeah.
So what'd you think of her?
I think she's really cool.
I don't know, we'll see.
I don't know, what'd you think?
You were there, what'd you think?
I guess that's the upside...
...afterwards I can be
like, "So what did you think?
"Should we, uh, should we call her back?"
"I don't know, Geeta, what do you think?
"I don't know if she's for us."
So, there's this one time
we're on this family trip
driving through Tennessee
in the station wagon,
we had to stop
somewhere for the night.
Of course, we're
Patels, we're cheap,
we always stayed in motels.
Then we get to the motel.
Of course, it's owned by a Patel.
That was every trip.
Dad looks back at me with this grin,
'cause he knows he's
hit the jackpot.
Somehow, this is going
to save us money.
He goes in, he goes,
"Hey, you know we need
a room for the night."
The guy looks up.
"Patel?"
"Patel."
Next thing I know,
we're having dinner with them.
I remember, I'm like,
laying on the carpet,
like changing channels on
the TV like it's my place.
Dad is talking to this
uncle, who we just met!
And it's like they've
known each other forever...
Mom's in the kitchen cooking,
you know, making samosas...
It was like a family reunion.
It was almost as if
we had made the trip
just to see them. And of course,
the next day we leave.
And I don't know that we
ever talked to them again.
I don't think we did.
That's what I love about being Patel.
They don't keep score,
they don't count favors.
You are unconditionally
a part of the biggest family in the world.
Hey, Dad...
I'm good. Hey, so listen,
there's a lot of girls from
other parts of the country,
there's a lot of girls from Toronto.
Yeah, that's the problem, like,
what I'm supposed to like...
- Pretty impressive.
- Yeah, that was...
Would have been more impressive if you...
Met the woman of your dreams.
Yeah, I mean, I didn't
come out of that trip
feeling like "Oh, I just met the one."
But I came out of that trip feeling like,
"Okay, I think I will."
And uh, by the way, I felt accomplished
just having gone on 15
dates around the country.
- That's crazy.
- Yeah, right, but for them,
15 was a huge number.
I mean, Dad found
Mom after 12 women.
Yeah but he's clearly
better at this than I am.
I've probably been on 1 to 200.
What?
Yeah.
I've been doing this since I was 20.
And how many of those
resulted in second dates?
None.
Well, we should be talking about you then.
I mean, why are you failing?
So they were, like, trying to pressure me
into like, getting an arranged marriage
and I'm like, no, I don't want to do it,
they were like, let's
put an ad in the paper,
'cause that's what a lot of people do
is they go there, they put
an ad in the classifieds.
In the matrimonial section...
The classified is labeled matrimonial.
It's like, "Seeking an
alliance for our daughter..."
That's like Victorian England.
The fact that the term alliance is used...
- Alliance is the right word.
- Alliance is the right word, yeah.
"Homely and comely," whoever
knows what that means.
"Homely and comely, wheatish complexion."
From my perspective, that sounds
- incredibly racist or odd, you know...
- Yeah.
...but like, right? It does, doesn't it?
They sell a lotion in India
called Fair And Lovely,
and people like, lather it onto their skin.
- It's a skin-bleaching lotion?
- A skin-bleaching lotion...
- No way.
- ...to try and get lighter.
They have a male version now
that's called Fair And Handsome.
Oh!
Fair skin is a big deal.
Like, right now, if my mom
saw me in the sun right now,
she'd be like, "Ahh, your
marriage value is plummeting!"
I got to tell you, like,
based on what I've gone through
with my parents so far, like I
hope it does work, I really do.
You really do? You hope it does?
Absolutely, like, look,
if the end is that I end up
with a girl that I think is amazing
and I want to be with...
I guess I'm just confused
because you've been with
somebody who you love
and think is amazing and
you do want to be with
and now you guys are broken
up which happens and is fine,
but like that prospect is totally gone
if this works out.
Hey.
How are you?
Sister's great, she's uh,
she's in Charlotte right now
and it's awesome.
I've recently...
Yeah, I love when she leaves.
How has your life been
not being Facebook friends with me?
Nothing, it was just a bit of an
earth-shattering moment for me,
I didn't know about it
until like two weeks in,
and then I realized,
I don't even know how I figured it out,
I'm sure I tried to go to your profile
and I wasn't your friend.
Yeah.
What?
Did...
Have I dealt with my inability to commit?
Huh. How do you deal
with that kind of thing?
Um,
I don't know how to deal
with commitment issues.
I mean, you either have
them or you don't, right?
Or like, you have them until you commit,
is that how it goes?
Yeah, so then I still have them.
How do we end this? What do we...
- Do we just say bye?
- Umm.
Well, when do we talk again?
Do we have to like set a date,
or do I like, have to wait
another six weeks or something?
Oh, yeah, so I'm just calling you whenever,
like I'll call you, like
in a month or something?
It's good talking to you, Audrey.
All right...
All right, talk to you later, bye.
Well... she's, I mean...
I'm telling you, our odds
are going to be much better
if you find girls that are in America,
American-born and also...
you know, tend to have a
mixture of friends culturally,
'cause that to me is
the ultimate indicator.
Okay.
Okay, you're probably
right about that, yeah.
This one? It's 17.99 a month.
And then I got to pay for
every date I go on, obviously.
Well, yeah, you have
to pay for the dates...
well, you don't have to,
you can split the dates.
Dutch on the first date,
- unless you like them...
- Do you do that?
Have you ever gone Dutch on a date?
I am a man seeking a woman.
Okay, which best describes your body type.
Go with, "Athletic and toned."
I am athletic and toned!
No, you're not, you
have a few extra pounds.
"Graduate student in neurobiology."
"Science geek"!
Yeah I'm going after her, she's awesome.
This girl is awesome.
Strategically placed
tattoo, yeah, that's so hot.
She's great, she's just great.
All right, so I'll pick
you up at like, 8:00?
Okay.
Neeta.
- Hi!
- Hi, are you Heena?
- Hima. Yeah.
- Hima, oh, I'm sorry.
- Ravi.
- Hi.
I'm gonna have to come
up with more constraints,
this has 566 matches.
- Are you a wedding planner?
- Yes I am.
Her name is... Seema?
Well Mom, she didn't
even email me back.
I can't reply to myself!
The good news is if,
uh, match doesn't work,
you get your money back in like six months,
so it's more like a savings account.
Look at that. That's a fun...
This is a fun girl.
Are we supposed to get
like, a knife or something?
No, you just dig in, like Indian style.
Hey Seema, I'm Ravi...
Yeah, not so good there.
Don't do anything sneaky with the camera...
- Okay.
- I'm, I'm dead serious.
This girl's gonna be cute.
- Nope.
- Ohh...
See ya.
I don't know, there is
something cool about showing up
and feeling like you
already know so much about
the other person, like...
We all have kind of like
the exact same upbringing.
Right, like especially with
this dating stuff, like...
No! I mean, we talk about that stuff...
No, that's what I'm
telling you, it's like...
it's like a support group or something.
It's supposed to dry,
it will dry on the way.
I have a system.
Bye.
How did it go?
Rav?
- Huh?
- How did it go?
How do you know that?
Well, see, I don't even
know dating that well,
I haven't done it that much, okay?
I really haven't, like...
I don't date, right?
I went through this like
four-year period, I decided...
I mean, I would even tell
my friends about this,
that I decided that I
wanted to date an Indian girl
and if the only way I could do that
is if I literally, cut myself
off from everything else,
that I was starving so bad for,
a woman,
and knowing that that was the only way...
That I would go after it that much harder.
And it didn't work.
When was this?
Right before Audrey...
I thought it would help me get
closer to finding an Indian.
I did the same thing.
You did the same thing?
Even though I was born here
and considered American,
it wasn't like I ever really
considered myself American.
I've never seen my parents kiss,
like intimacy wasn't something,
did you guys have that?
I saw my dad kiss my
mom on the cheek one time
and I was like, "Whoa!"
You know, they'd put me to sleep,
we'd rattle off all the
different Hindu God names,
at the end they'd say, "Okay, study hard,
"no boys, no blacks,
no Muslims, good night."
My grandmother is probably the most
racist human being I've ever met...
...but she's, like, the
most lovable human being.
They just look in a tunnel
and they can't kind of see outside of that.
I wasn't allowed to date,
girls weren't allowed to call the house.
When I got to college,
there was a ton of Indian people, right,
most of the girls, they, I
called them "Snapback girls,"
those were the ones that
I always went after...
I didn't date anyone, till...
They were never allowed to
date in high school, right,
or their whole lives, so
when they got to college,
the freedom, oh, my God!
And I was in a fraternity...
I don't know how to really talk to men
in order to let them know that
I would be interested in them,
or how to like, play the game,
and like, you know, have them hunt me,
or whatever they're supposed to do.
Yeah, Mom, come sit, let's do cheers!
I love that we're celebrating
your anniversary in sweatpants.
Okay, cheers!
Happy anniversary.
- Happy anniversary!
- Thank you. Happy anniversary to us!
My kids are the lovely kids.
I go upstairs.
She's sitting in a chair
or a stool or something.
Probably a little intimidated
because this guy is from America.
I was the one who asked the questions.
And she never asked me any question.
Which was a big set-up
because she never opened her mouth there
but she never shut up after the marriage.
But let me tell you,
when I talked to him, we
only talked maybe 10 minutes.
- And even then...
- And he made me laugh...
Like crazy.
I asked her, one of the
questions was, and this is true,
"How far have you traveled?"
She said, "I traveled
all the way to Pavagadh."
Now, Pavagadh is only 30 miles away.
So she thought that was far?
To her that was a big
accomplishment, I guess.
Vasant, that's not true.
I mean, you know, how can
I disappoint her in life
when she's happy with 30-mile travel?
But you know what the bottom line is, Ravi?
I still believe, when you are ready,
you will find a girl.
Just like a guru, they
said in the Bhagavad Gita.
Bhagavad Gita says, "When
you are ready for a guru,
"you don't ever look for a guru.
"Guru will come to you."
I know that, I know that at the
end of all these failed dates,
you guys just see failure.
But what I see
is that it's helped me
figure out what I want.
I see progress.
I see that, oh, I've figured
out that, you know what...
But you know what, I'm learning.
I'm learning. Now I know
what kind of girl I want.
Oh, I got a ticket.
God.
Oh, God.
Do you have to do it this way?
Ready?
Okay, ready?
Okay.
Hey, can I talk to you for a sec?
- Not really.
- So, what do you think?
Notice anything different?
Hair color, trying to age myself up.
You're anticipating a little bit.
- I am?
- A little bit.
Ready?
Yeah, please.
All right, here.
- What are you doing?
- I'm taking it off.
- You're taking it off?
- I'm taking it right off.
Did I tell you Audrey
made me a good-luck cake?
What's going on? This is like
the unhealthiest relationship.
It's the unhealthiest non-relationship.
And then I came home and she was there.
I came to your house and she was there!
Why did you not tell me that
you guys were hanging out?
Well, I wasn't trying to,
like, hide it from you.
I mean, I was trying to hide it from you,
but it just wasn't a big deal.
I mean, we ran into each other one day
and the next thing you
know, we're like, laughing
about how miserable dating can be.
And it was good to just be friends.
But there are rules, like,
when you break up, there are rules
that you have to follow that...
- About how the break-up goes.
- Yeah, but we spent time apart.
We were both dating other people,
so it's not like we weren't...
You know, it's not like we were trying to
get back together or anything,
we were just hanging out.
You guys were barely dating other
people, it hadn't been that long.
We were best friends.
I got this girl here in Boston
and when we're going to the wedding there,
there's a girl named Seema
that I really want him to meet her.
Did you tell him already?
No, I'm gonna call him and let him know,
but I just wanted to let you know,
But I think, since we are
going to be there anyway,
it would be nice to meet with her.
I remember, Mom calls
me up and she goes,
"My prince, big wedding season.
"My prince, hit the girls."
Beginning of wedding season!
If the sky that we look upon
Should tumble and fall
And the mountains should
crumble to the sea
But, how are we going to set
it up, let's talk about it.
- It's not going to happen automatically.
- Yeah.
No, no, no, do not do that,
that's where you guys go too far,
I'm telling you I'm gonna take care of it.
I don't want you guys jumping in
and getting all these
other people involved,
that's when it becomes embarrassing.
We're not going to do anything
you don't want us to do.
Okay? It's given.
Okay, just, then relax, then. We're done.
When you talk to her,
she may not know why
you are talking to her.
Don't be shy, talk to her, man.
We'll support you, my dear, don't worry...
- We'll support you.
- You are my son.
I'm telling you, you guys are
treating me like I'm, like,
socially retarded, I'm...
I'm very good socially.
Ravi, you are socially good,
except when it comes to marriage.
Marriage, right.
Don't just look at her and
say "Oh, I don't like her."
I don't do that.
You guys think I do that, but you just...
you're so desperate for me to like someone
that you don't trust
when I make my own choices
and I give everyone a fair chance.
To like somebody, you've
got to get to know somebody.
I'm saying at least talk to the person.
Why do you love Mom and Dad?
Because you've been with
them for all these years.
So if you...
- Take a little interest...
- Okay.
...and you know what will happen,
if nothing, let's say you do not like,
you may say that, "Oh, my
friend might be right for her."
- Ah.
- Introduce to a friend.
This is the most unnecessary pep speech
I've ever gotten in my life.
Yeah. Okay, let's go.
Geeta, are we done, my dear?
Yeah I did.
I don't like her.
What do you mean how do
you know, you just know.
I don't like her.
So, put your camera away.
Was that Mom?
I told Mom and Dad, I'm
like, "Hey, she's great,
"like, she's a really great person, but,
"I'm not really into her."
Mmm-hmm.
You know, in that way.
By no fault of her own, I'm just...
Yeah.
You know and, uh...
they're like, "Well,
just, just talk to her."
And I'm like, okay, but,
I mean, I'll talk to her,
But, like, it's just weird.
Mmm-hmm.
Like, I'm supposed to
call her now on Friday
and it's just like, ugh.
- I am so afraid of hurting other people's feelings.
- Me too!
Like, I feel really bad, like,
she's like a great girl,
and I don't want her to
think that I'm rejecting her.
Because that's not really what it is.
Yeah. You guys have it harder
because you have to
actually approach the women.
Or, you know, culturally, that's...
It's easy for women, women just have to be.
You just have to be. And...
Then... ugh.
You know what? I realized it's not easy,
because I thought we just had to be,
but I think that's why I'm single
because I didn't know this
whole eye contact thing,
like, you have to actually
- allow someone...
- What's the eye contact thing?
Well, I don't really...
I never did eye contact
growing up, like you have...
We have to give you guys a signal that,
"Yeah, we're interested."
Or like, "Yeah, I at least
acknowledge that you exist."
If a girl's looking around,
you have to look right at her,
which is really scary.
Well, what's the difference
between that and staring?
'Cause I know how to stare.
I'm excited because
Ravi promised me five grandkids.
You appear to be not promising,
but sort of leaning towards three.
Which makes it a potential eight.
Ravi gave me, one five-year time period.
Guaranteed, almost.
You are noncommittal.
But I assume same time period.
Hey, listen.
It's been easy sailing until now.
Life is a commitment.
- So you have to make some commitments.
- Mmm.
Hello.
Hello.
- What's up?
- Someone didn't come home last night.
Yeah.
You're an idiot.
What?
What?
Were you at Audrey's?
We didn't do nothing, we just fell asleep.
Well, she cooked me, we like, made dinner,
then we watched a movie and fell asleep.
Okay.
So.
So are you going to get
back together with her?
Audrey and I met
when we both worked in the same bar,
and we had been friends
for a few years.
But all of a sudden, we
started hanging out a lot,
and then one night she
came over to watch a movie,
and that was when things, you know,
started to get a little weird.
You know, towards, as the movie went on,
we'd slowly kinda cuddle a little bit
but in very non-committal
cuddling, so our toes,
like I think our feet started
getting closer together
and then next thing you know, our legs...
I was so nervous that I was like,
I remember I was stuttering a lot, "Um...
"Do, do you think we should,
um, like we should uh, like,
"this is, like, this is weird right?"
And she was looking at me
and then she just goes...
And of course, to me, the
bury-the-head-in-the-pillow
was like a bad sign
because that's the only way
I'm willing to interpret
any situation with a girl,
is like rejection.
She was really nervous too.
I was like, should we start
dating or something, or...
And she was like, "Yeah, I guess,"
and then I walked her to her car,
and I'm saying bye, and
like, this is the first time
it's been this kind of a bye.
I was like, "Well, should we kiss?"
She goes like, "Yeah, I guess,"
and then we go in and it's like a kiss,
and it is the worst kiss
in the history of kisses.
Like it was disgusting, you know,
because it was so forced and uncomfortable
and we were friends.
Any man would have handled
that better than me, I think.
And so there was a lot
of just self-loathing.
- Right.
- And at the same time,
I don't remember ever feeling
that level of exhilaration
in terms of happiness and just excitement
that this was happening.
Even though you had a bad kiss too?
But the second one was incredible.
My sister has her
son living with her
and she has three kids, grandkids,
and I don't know how to tell you,
it's very rewarding, peaceful,
I tell you they are just simply,
I call them they are happy,
happy, happy family, you know.
But what can I say, America is different.
And that's the only thing
I regret about myself
that I wish I didn't come that early
because my kids would have
been maybe somewhat different,
and I could have had a similar
life to what my family has.
Family-wise, staying
together and all that.
Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah,
because they came later on in the life,
so their beliefs are different.
When I came to United States,
there were not Indians,
so you know, we had to compromise the life
and we did, and uh,
and when you compromise, you
pay the price for it, you know.
And that is the price we are paying for it
right now, I think.
We're happy, though!
- We're happy.
- And we are gonna be happy,
we are gonna be just as happy as them.
We are happy. We are different,
but we are happy, yeah.
Hey, Ma.
Yeah, there's serious
interest, send it to me.
Okay.
Ma, ah...
Mom, Mom, do you guys remember
the conversation we had
about you guys sending me girls
that are, that are American?
Okay, okay, okay.
She's from India, she's
overweight, and she's an engineer?
- Yeah.
- That's not the best pitch.
If the bio-data thing doesn't work,
if the Internet dating doesn't work,
if you're still not able
to meet her at a wedding,
or say a motel owners expo,
there's still one last shot
at meeting the perfect Patel girl.
The Patel convention.
People get together for two or three days
and purpose was to bring
their boy and a girl,
children together,
and they have programs
and dance and speeches
and all that, basically
to see if you can find...
Just like a business expo.
We have a sheet and you're going
to go to people of the opposite sex
and you're gonna go introduce yourself
- and go see if they can fill out a box.
- Okay.
There's already one marriage out of it,
somebody that met last
year is already married
and there's another
couple that's almost there.
1:30 to 5:00, Icebreakers.
Three and a half hours of icebreakers!
I can't think of a more efficient
way to meet women though.
I rarely meet Indian girls
that I like talking to.
I'm getting in the practice
of like, pursuing women,
which, unfortunately,
I'm almost 30 years old
and I really genuinely
feel like I'm bad at it.
Well, you're Indian,
you're not going to be good.
So if a girl has Georgia
and a boy has Atlanta,
you guys match up, okay?
I hope you guys know
your states and capitals.
I don't like how I look.
My hair, I look ridiculous.
Geeta, this is fine, right?
- Mmm-hmm.
- It is, right?
Why doesn't anyone tell
me how stupid I look?
Did you see any guys down
there you like, Geets?
No.
A bunch of Indians in business casual,
they probably just thought it's
like an engineering conference.
They've got to think it's
absolutely fascinating.
I'm sure they're all just
in there making faces.
Yeah, they're white, they don't get it.
We have to kind of do one of these.
They don't get it.
It's like, required.
"They're white, they don't get it."
- Hey, I'm Ravi.
- LA!
- Yeah.
- Anisha.
Hey, I'm Ravi. Hey,
I'm Ravi. Hey, I'm Ravi.
Hey, I'm Ravi. Hey, I'm Ravi.
I try to stay away from Canada
- as much as possible.
- Why?
My mom and dad keep on
calling me over and over again.
This is exhausting, isn't it?
...animal sounds.
Is that what you do? You just find
other people making your noise?
- Meow.
- Meow.
Oh yeah. Hey, I'm Ravi.
Anisha. Nice to meet you.
- Are you good at this?
- No.
Hey, I'm Ravi, oh wait, we already met.
Nice to meet you too.
Nice to meet you too.
This is fun. It's weird and
fun at the same time, yeah.
Yeah, I think we should
do this all the time.
This is great, wait, what's next?
I... um.
I mean, I emailed him and
he didn't email me back.
It's that simple.
What are you going through?
Mom, but that's not true.
"Ravi, this is my first problem,
"our friendship isn't
based on friendship anymore.
"I wish it were. Our friendship
is based, at least on my part,
"in my hope that we will work out.
"I will be honest with you,
"I don't have an interest
in just being your friend,
"I have an interest in being your partner,
"I have an interest in
making sure you're happy
"and healthy and moving
forward in your life,
"but I have an interest
in doing that by your side.
"I'm not trying to be dramatic
or emotional, just practical.
"I wish more than anything
that we could be just friends,
"but I think at this
point, it's impossible.
"I need to remove you from my life.
"It's too difficult for me to
move forward if you are around.
"I'll always be grateful
for the friendship and love
"we were able to have."
Oh, man.
I don't know how I could handle, like,
not being friends with her,
that's the toughest part for me.
I know it's immature on my part but like,
you know, like, I think I could,
I really think I could, I could, I could,
not be with her and be okay.
You know?
Did you love her?
I think so, I don't really
have anything else to...
But yeah, I mean, like...
Like, what's love?
I don't know what love
is, that's why, I mean.
I don't know. I know that, you know...
I know that...
I know that I care a lot about her
and she cares a lot about me
and we know each other inside out,
and, she makes me a better
person in so many ways.
That weekend, we went and
visited a bunch of family
in Iowa, and they're all,
you know, vintage Patels.
They all live under the same roof
- as their parents with their kids.
- Yeah.
You know, in fact,
our cousins represent
what Mom and Dad wanted us to be.
For both of you, it's time to get married.
It said in the Scriptures
that you should marry early
so your mind is fixated
on a certain individual
before it starts fluttering away.
I was looking around,
and our extended family represents
a version of life that I
always thought I would have,
and for the first time
I was starting to doubt
whether or not that's
what I'd end up with.
But then I was also scared of,
in the pursuit of all these things,
ending up alone.
I think, first thing we should talk about
is how much do you respect this process
that parents or whoever
can screen and can do it?
I have a ton of respect for
the process, in fact, I...
Are you giving that respect
when we say, "Meet this girl"?
No, because I don't...
And if you don't meet,
if that respect is not
understood by the children
and children casually throw,
"Oh, I don't like this, I don't click."
That is when I tell Mom,
I say, "You know what, forget it,
"we are not going to do this."
Because they think we found
these online somewhere at random
that we don't know anything about this
and that we throw them because we
want to get them married in hurry
and we don't care who
they get married with.
I really believe, my prince,
you are not being fair to yourself.
You are not giving yourself enough chance,
you are not giving your life a fair chance.
It is a mindset.
We don't have the same mindset you do,
and honestly, I don't
even have the same mindset.
That is why, Geeta, you are not married,
and I'm telling you the reasoning.
If you are ready to know
that why Geeta is not married,
why other people are getting married
then I'm going to tell you
the differences, my dear,
that the other girls are in
the mindset to get married,
they don't want to just reject right away.
They want to get to know
people, they meet second time,
they talk to them on the phone,
they just don't go on and
on, rejecting like you,
"No, no, no, not this".
My point is not getting
married and staying single
is the biggest loser you can be.
I said yes to him, but
when I did say yes...
I didn't say yes, I said, "Yes,
I guess", when he asked me.
"Yeah, I guess," you
said. You didn't say yes.
He's like, "Will you
marry me?" and I'm like...
You said, "I'm gonna throw up",
and then you said, "Yeah, I guess".
But I did marry him twice.
One Catholic wedding and one Sikh wedding.
Yeah, we did two weddings.
So we, that was the
beginning of our compromise.
Like I walked down the
aisle wearing a white dress
to, Here Comes the Bride,
like, literally, laughing the whole time
because I thought it was so absurd.
I came down a street
on a horse, wearing a
turban, carrying a sword.
Pete's Catholic, so we said
that our kids will be baptized.
And I negotiated the communion,
- but I couldn't get confirmation.
- Confirmation.
She said that was brainwashing. It's CCD.
I don't know if I said brainwashing.
- You said brainwashing, you really did,
- Oh, okay.
And quite honestly,
I'm still hoping we can
open up that conversation
and continue the negotiation down the road.
Honestly, I don't know
much about Catholicism.
- I got you 'Catholicism For Dummies.'
- I got it, I know,
I haven't finished reading my
'Catholicism For Dummies.'
We don't thank Jesus, we thank God.
- We thank God, because we both share God...
- 'Cause Jesus isn't God really.
You have Guru Nanak, I have Jesus.
But see they're gurus,
both Jesus and Guru Nanak,
They're both gurus, they're not Gods.
Dude, you can't call Jesus a guru.
- I think he's...
- He's not a guru.
Have yourself a merry
little Christmas
You have no messages.
Let your heart be light
From now on
Our troubles will
be out of sight
Isn't this a cute picture, Ravi?
Have you guys ever considered
getting a clothesline?
Why do you think we can
afford a million dollar house?
Because we don't waste money.
I love this picture.
This is like the closest
an Indian picture ever gets to kissing.
This would be considered
obscene by some people.
Geeta. Hey, this is Geeta.
And this is Geeta.
And this is Geeta.
I waited until you left for the gym,
because I knew we could
not do this on camera,
and I didn't want to run
the risk of you being around.
So, Mom and Dad were
both in the kitchen,
Mom was cooking, Dad
was reading at a table.
And I just sat down, and I said,
"Hey, I need to tell
you guys something.
"And I don't know any
other way to say this,
"but before we went to India,
"I had been dating this
girl for two years.
"And I never told you about
her and I'm sorry about that.
"But we broke up just
before the trip."
Then Dad looks up,
and asks "Well, wait,
"so all this bio-data
stuff, this was a lie?"
I told him,
"No, we broke up, but every
time I went on a date,
"I think I was comparing
them to Audrey."
Mom was just staring at the floor.
And then, she goes, "Well,
do you still love her?"
And I just said, "I don't know."
And then, that's when you came home.
Dad, how's your trip going? Turn around.
Trip is going terrific.
We are having great time, Geeta.
Very good time.
Mom, how's your trip going?
Mom, the way I look at the way
you're handling this right now,
is... I consider the way you're handling
this... Put that camera down right now!
There's a mature way...
I know your mom.
And you know how great a person she is.
She is emotionally just...
Taken away, and she is very emotional.
And she'll come around.
I really trust both of
you guys for the decisions.
I may disagree,
I may do different things,
but who are we that we always
know what is right, you know?
We don't know always what is right.
After I told them about
Audrey, they were...
In shock.
You know, Dad was coping with
it, we were communicating,
but with Mom, it got really bad.
She barely spoke with you during that time.
Her and I couldn't seem to
communicate, and I don't...
I mean, I don't think it was coincidental,
I mean, we just started fighting.
About everything, like, little things,
and I was home one day and...
I just kind of sat her down and I was like,
"What is this, what's happening?"
I was like, "I don't understand, like
I feel like I can't make you happy
"with anything I do, and I just
don't feel like I'm your son anymore."
She says, "You know, it's not that
you might not marry an Indian girl.
"It's that you lied to me for so long.
"That you could do that."
And I just said I was sorry,
and that I won't lie to you again.
Okay.
All right. Okay?
Okay.
I used to think that the way
I was feeling, my struggle,
was because of them.
And then one day they came to
visit me and I started crying,
I was just like, you know,
"I don't even date any guys,
"I don't do anything, and I feel
so... Like my hands are tied."
I said, "I feel like I
have to marry an Indian."
Dad stopped me and he said,
"I want you to know that
no matter what you do,
"we love you and we'll accept it."
And he said, "Nothing matters
more to me than you being happy."
I thought that I would feel different.
I thought that I would feel
like the weight had been lifted.
And when I drove home,
the weight was still there.
And I realized that it
wasn't them, it was me.
I was scared
that if I married a white guy,
even if it was okay with them,
that somehow, I would
be letting myself down.
Don't give me too much food, Mom.
Okay.
You want vaal, my prince? You want chole?
Mom, you're like a traveling...
You're like a food truck.
Like world hunger progr...
- Ten minutes, okay.
- You want tuvaro?
- Mmm. Yeah.
- Tuvaro? Okay.
You want samosas?
No, I'm okay right now.
You're okay, so I'm
giving you samosas then.
Give her some, okay? Because
I know she will like it.
Ravi...
This whole year...
You met different girls from all over,
and I really want to know,
what have you learned?
You know, when we were
doing this, you know,
it was very much about
finding that Patel girl,
but I honestly, like, I
don't... after doing all this,
the one thing I feel like I've learned
is that I don't... I don't need that.
You know? I mean, I still
want that, but I don't need...
What do you mean?
Well, like, I don't need her to be...
- Indian.
- Yeah, I don't need her to be Indian.
Mom, what would you think?
Mom, what would you think if I ended
up with a girl who wasn't Indian,
but she's Indian in
every way that you want?
She has a beautiful family and
she's a family-oriented person,
and she loves me and she loves you guys.
If she learns how to cook Indian food
with you and you love hanging out with her?
Are you cool with it?
Are you cool with her
just not being Indian?
I would just love whoever you
fall in love with, my dear.
- I would be just happy...
- I would be happy.
...the one you find.
- And I mean it, too.
- So, Ravi...
I just want you to get
married now. Seriously.
Bottom line is, go and get married.
Make a decision.
Time is running by...
Let me tell you one thing,
with the girl you get married,
you will never know her enough.
Never know enough.
Even after 35 years of marriage...
- He still doesn't know me.
- It's still a discovery.
So if you think, "I
want to know her enough,"
that's an impo... that's why you get married,
and that's the fun of getting married,
because you keep discovering.
Yeah.
You know, after 35
years we tell each other,
"Oh, you don't understand me."
Now, after 35 years,
I don't understand her.
You're gonna know somebody in two years?
I do, I tell him that.
- What do you say, Mom?
- And you know what, Ravi? After 35 years...
She goes, "I do, I tell him that."
Ravi, after 35 years...
She's still trying to change me.
- And I keep telling her.
- And you, too!
- Let's not have one way here.
- Okay.
- So...
- Thank you.
Every day,
"You should have done that," and,
"You should be not doing this,"
and he should be doing this,
I should not be doing this.
And how do you handle this?
And I'm like, "Go to sleep."
That's right.
L is for the way you look at me
O is for the only one I see
V is very, very
extraordinary
Let me catch you up to speed.
In December, I broke up with Audrey.
He needs therapy.
I then went to India,
then back to America,
then did some bio-dating...
Don't do anything sneaky with the camera.
...Internet dating,
marriage conventions...
Meow!
...and weddings.
Don't be shy, talk to her, man.
The next December, I told
my parents the truth.
In March, I started yet
another dating system.
The "Ravi dates whoever makes him happy,
kind of like a normal person" system.
Um...
I think part of the problem
was I was carrying this
picture around in my head
of who I was going to marry,
when really, that's
just not how it works.
It was time to just allow the world
to put that picture together for me.
And it worked.
I found the girl that
I really, really liked,
and for the first time I could
see what I really wanted.
I liked her, and I had to
beg her to like me back.
You really begged.
Well, it was the only option.
- Like, you really begged.
- Yeah, we get it. Okay.
You really begged.
Do you want me to say something?
It was great, I was starting
a relationship truthfully
for the first time.
And just letting it be
whatever it was going to be.
That said, Mom and Dad still didn't
understand the concept of dating.
Okay. Geeta!
Can you stop the camera now, Geeta?
Yeah, turn that off, please. It just...
Yeah, Geeta, there's no reason for it now.
Oh, my God!
How did it go?
Just be yourself!
What's the big deal? It's just a camera!
How does it make you feel? Dad, tell me,
how does it make you feel
that Geeta just went on a date?
Geeta, tell me, what is love?