Mega Ape (2023) Movie Script
1
[birds chirping]
[growling softly]
[intense growl]
You fucking warped it.
Now we're never getting
off this island alive.
Don't.
Keep your fucking voice down.
[growling]
Let's go.
Let's go.
Let's go.
Go, go, go, go.
[groans]
Come on, man.
Pick up.
Hey, man, maybe we
should get out of here.
I don't know about this.
Fuck it.
Stop.
No, Tom.
Tom.
Tom, wait.
[grunts]
Oh, this fucking guy.
[groaning]
Yeah, nothing much.
Just taking some crap out.
You know how it is.
Come on, really?
Really?
You think that's
going to stop me.
Come on.
No way.
That's part of me, man.
Oh, no.
It's fine.
What is that smell?
Jesus Christ.
Shoot it, man.
Shoot it.
Shoot it.
I got it.
I got it.
God.
Are you getting this?
Yeah, I'm getting it, man.
No way, man.
I've tried those apps before.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They don't work for me.
The last time there
was a total catfish.
Yeah, I'm telling you.
Hey, are you getting this?
Yeah, I'm totally getting this.
Look at this.
Oh.
[apes squealing]
Man, don't do that, huh?
I know what I'm doing, man.
[apes squealing]
[screaming]
[alarm ringing]
Charles.
Charles, it's happened.
What?
Yeah, Dorothy.
She's loose.
Really?
That's what the American
contact's saying.
You knew this could happen.
It looks like a kidnapping.
She's left the island.
She's headed for America.
This is the danger of
mixing the growth hormones.
It's the end of humanity.
All right.
I can't be using this anymore.
Right.
I'm going to go
check the rations.
Yeah, yeah, good idea.
Told them.
I told them.
Didn't listen to me, but
we're the ones who are ready.
We're the ones who
made preparations.
Yes, we're ready for the
lockdown and anything
that giant ape's
going to throw at us.
Yes, bring it on.
Hey.
It's good to hear your voice.
Look, listen.
Yes.
Yeah, that's-- Look, I
know you don't believe me,
but just hear me out, OK?
Please listen to me.
This is serious.
Look, it's today.
It's happening today, right now.
Look, in the nicest way, I don't
care what you've got planned.
Look, please, please,
just listen to me
and please stay at home, OK?
Look, it doesn't matter
what you've got planned,
what you've got booked.
You can just leave it for
today and just go back to it
tomorrow.
Look, I just want
you to be safe, OK?
Yeah.
Look, I wouldn't be
calling you like this
if it wasn't for
real, if I didn't know
100% that it was happening.
Yeah.
Yeah, I just want
you to be safe.
OK.
Thank you.
I love you.
Yeah, I know.
Well, I've said enough.
OK.
Bye.
Man, don't do that, huh?
I know what I'm doing, man.
Tom.
Tom.
Mayor, We have a big problem.
What problem, doctor?
Last night after
lockup in the lab,
there was a security breach.
Those two nimrods from
1007 snuck in when
the guard was doing his rounds.
So what?
We have nothing to hide.
Listen, there are three
other animal facilities
right now in this city.
Public is bored with it.
Sir, one of them was
attacked and killed.
And Dorothy is missing.
That sexy, little receptionist?
I knew she wouldn't last long.
The ape, sir.
What?
Why wasn't I notified sooner?
We have a media blackout
until the ape is apprehended.
These experiments are
highly controversial.
If any information about what
we've been doing should leak,
we'll lose our remaining
funding for sure.
When was the last
injection given?
It was just before
I left last night.
I was supposed to transfer
her to her living park
this morning.
She'll be 10 times her
natural size in, oh, my god,
less than 12 hours from now.
OK, OK.
Let me handle this.
I know just who to call.
Thank you, mayor.
Thank you.
Thank you.
[muttering]
Here's your tea.
There's no way they're going
to be able to control this.
No?
It's going to be 141
times the size of it was.
What?
Dorothy is going to grow
to 141 times the size.
They've got no idea
what they've done.
It's going to be--
going to be huge.
It's not looking good.
That's for sure.
What are the Americans saying?
Nothing from the Americans yet.
Well, they won't be long
because it's happening today.
Today?
Today.
It should have
been me, goddammit.
It should've been me.
Oh, Tom.
Tom.
Goddammit, Tom.
Motherfucker.
[repetitive engine cranking]
The hell.
God damn battery again.
[phone alert tone]
Seriously?
Of course.
What the hell is that?
[screams]
[growling]
And you're saying
that's when it escaped?
Yes, sir.
I was actually on my way
back in to close and lock up
for the night, and that's
when I heard those screams,
so I called you guys for backup.
Well, I think we're done here.
We'll contact you if we
have any more questions.
OK, cool.
Sounds good.
Thank you.
Oh, oh, what about the ape?
I'm sure it's going to turn up.
A wild monkey isn't going
to go unnoticed for long
in this town.
I do know that much.
Good to hear.
Good to hear.
Oh, by the way, tell
the wife I said hey.
Get out of here.
You know she's taken.
[laughing]
All right, see you around.
All right, bud.
Hey, Janet.
Hey, let me know
if any reports come
in about a monkey on the loose.
Yeah, a monkey.
Thanks, Janet.
Mondays.
I get what you're
saying, but listen,
this isn't going to be cheap.
I can't guarantee he's going
to be alive afterwards.
Uh-huh.
All right.
Well, I'll notify
you when it's done.
Yes.
Get me the president.
[stumping]
[growls]
Dude, I told you
I heard something.
Do you think it's
that fucking ape?
No, that's fake news, man.
[laughs]
[distant growl]
Then how do you explain that?
Should we go check it out?
Dude, haven't you ever
seen a horror movie before?
What are you talking about?
We're totally the two stoners
who die off early in the movie
because we're too fucked up
to make rational decisions.
Yeah, but this isn't a movie
and you're way too high.
[laughs]
[phone ringing]
Dude, she's on your dick 24/7.
I know.
Tell me about it.
[growl]
Shit, dude.
I don't think this
is a good idea.
You really think there's a
10-story ape running around
here?
Well, maybe not 10
stories, but there's
got to be some truth
to the story, right?
[intense growling]
Run.
[stumping]
[screams]
Yes, sir.
Sir, it's all under control.
Sir, I assure you there's
no need for all that.
I-- Hello?
Mr. President, are
you still there?
Dear Lord, what have I done?
If she isn't
stopped immediately,
she'll be too big to contain.
This whole thing is a--
this whole thing is
a total disaster.
Yeah, that is the
spot right there.
[upbeat music playing]
[phone chimes]
Good afternoon,
ladies and gentlemen.
I'm Brock Stephens with
a breaking news story.
Joining me in our studio is
our lead investigative reporter
Michael Breymore.
Michael, what can you share
with viewers about this very
disturbing matter?
[sighs]
This is for you, buddy.
I love you.
I wish it was me.
Damn it!
What a new story.
Last night our own Tom Goodwin
was on location following
a lead when he was brutally
attacked and killed
by what several
witnesses believe
to be an ape of some sort at
the Sylmar-based, controversial
animal testing site
owned by Gen Life.
It was last seen heading
towards the Los Angeles forest.
We've learned that
social media has already
exploded with the
hashtag #SaveTheApe
after information was leaked
regarding an experimental
and highly controversial growth
hormone that was reportedly
injected in the ape
routinely since birth.
Rumors persist that
the drug may have
had side effects that alters
the genes that determine gender.
I knew it!
Keep watching for all the latest
updates involving the mega ape.
[breathing heavily]
That didn't take long.
Oh, no.
No.
Apes consume an almost
exclusive all-fruit diet.
However, from time to
time, occasionally they
do eat the other primates.
What would make an
ape eat a person?
Almost always due to a
change in environment.
In this case, she's
lost in the city,
can't locate any fruit to eat.
Something that size she'll
be hungry again soon.
We're going to have to stop
her before it's too late.
Well, they thrive in
tropical climates.
But like us humans, they
prefer to rest in the shade.
If I were you, I would search
out any large, dense forest
area.
The Los Angeles forest might
be a good place to start.
That's a great idea.
Thank you for your wisdom, sir.
I sure hope you're right.
Good luck.
[phone chimes]
Hey, are you super excited
about our hike in the woods?
Oh, yeah.
Can't wait to get
out in the greenery.
You're so pretty.
[giggles]
Thank you.
There she is.
Did I ever tell you
I hate the outdoors?
Did I ever tell you
I hate complaining?
This is going to be a long day.
Who the hell is that?
I think he's a ranger.
Hello there, I'm Ranger Roger.
What are you kids
doing out here?
Going for a hike.
A hike, huh?
You kids wouldn't be doing
drugs out here, would you?
No, sir.
Not us.
We're Republicans.
Well, that's good
because at this park
we only have three rules, no
drugs, no fires, and have fun.
Well, we certainly plan on
doing the latter, Ranger Roger.
Call me sir.
Thank you, Sir Ranger Roger.
All right, all right.
You kids get out of here.
Thank you.
Hey!
No monkey business, you two.
I'm telling you,
honey, this is going
to be the best hike
you've ever been on.
I guarantee it.
Oh, really?
What do I get if it's not?
Well, you can spank me.
[chuckles]
Oh, great.
You don't have to film
yourself climbing.
Maybe you should put your
phone away while you climb.
And deprive our audience
of this amazing climbing?
[chuckles]
I don't exactly know what you
expected to do with the tree
once you got it.
Is this where you take
all your girlfriends?
Just the pretty ones.
[giggles]
Sure.
[growling]
Gary, did you hear that?
Yeah, it's called an airplane.
No, not that.
It sound like a growl.
Yeah, it's my tum-tum.
Gary, I'm serious.
I'm serious too.
I'm hungry.
Gary, these are so creepy.
Oh, come on.
It's all in good fun.
I guess so.
Just a fun start.
Always leaving me behind.
[growling]
What the fuck was that?
Run!
Run!
Go!
[growling]
Honey.
Gary!
Gary, come on!
Come back.
Look out!
Look out!
Come back.
Look out!
At least I'm certain.
Let's send the
National Guard now.
[phone chimes]
Gary, come on!
Come back.
Look out!
Look out!
Come back.
Look out!
[growling on video]
God.
[phone chimes]
God.
[growl]
Oh.
Hey, Jessie.
Can you watch the phone?
I'm going to take
an early lunch.
You got it, girl.
[distant stumping]
This is definitely ape country.
Come on.
This is going to work.
I know.
So excited as my eighth
creation is going to work.
And the left eye will
be read like a demon.
Yes.
[mutters]
I swear if he's with that
bitch again, I'll kill him.
[growling]
Holy fuck.
Now that's one mega-sized ape.
[laughs]
Listen up, monkey fucker.
I've got something that no
ape can escape, hard lead.
[intense growling]
[screaming]
Ha, Got you now, you bastard.
Yesterday my cup was all full.
Today, totally empty.
Oh, thank you for
letting me know.
Yes.
Yes.
Soon they'll all be behind us.
Sir.
Yeah.
How can it be an adventure?
An adventure?
Yeah, sure.
Yeah, an adventure sounds
fun, but getting lost out here
in the woods in this
heat, not really.
You're such a baby.
Well, I learned from
the biggest one.
What's that over there?
Hun.
Got you.
You really suck.
You know that?
Aw, that's why you
love me, right?
Well, I mean, this
is why you love me.
That's a little more like it.
[stumping]
[yells]
Oh, sh--
[stumping, growling]
[screams]
Got you now, bastard.
[stumping]
[growl]
[screams]
Is there any news?
Yes.
It's Dorothy.
She's tearing through
Hollywood right now.
I knew it.
She's getting
bigger, but there's
no reports of
gigantism affecting
anyone or anything else.
Yeah, but they will.
You, trust me.
I know what's going to happen.
It'll just take a bit of
time, but it'll spread.
Slowly but surely, it'll spread.
But there's no evidence to
suggest that it is affecting
anyone or anything else. its--
Well, it's just
a matter of time.
Don't worry.
We've got this sorted.
We'll stick to the plan.
We've got plenty of provisions.
Everything will be just fine.
Right.
Well, if we're going
to hunker down,
then I need to get
my partner here.
She has to be safe.
What?
No, that's the
worst idea possible.
Haven't you looked
at my equations?
But there's nothing to suggest
that that's happened yet.
But it will.
I've been right
every time so far.
No one thought Dorothy would
become this gigantic beast
that she's become.
No one believed me.
But now look.
And this will be the same.
Look, don't panic.
We've got this.
We've got a plan.
We've got provisions.
It'll be OK.
We'll be safe.
What now?
It's OK.
We knew this kind of
thing would happen.
We go to plan B.
Well, get the candles.
Yeah.
OK.
It'll be OK.
It's just you and me now.
I must sit here in the dark
because of him eating beans?
Keeps telling me, oh, trust me.
Trust me.
Trust my science.
Yeah, we'll see how
good your science is.
Can't trust this guy as
far as I could throw him.
I know what he's thinking.
He's thinking about
her again, isn't he?
He's going to get
us into trouble.
I know he is.
He's going to let her in.
We'll all be gigantic
then, won't we?
Yes.
I better not be stuck here
and unable to get to her.
I'm not going to let
him keep me from her.
If I have to leave this place
to go and keep her safe,
that's exactly what I'll do.
Doesn't matter what he thinks.
Look at him.
He's crazy.
Trust his science.
I can't even trust him.
But he's mad.
I bet none of this
will come to pass.
How dare you doubt my equations?
I know what I've
been researching.
I know what I'm doing.
You have no clue.
I know how big that ape
will get, and it'll spread.
We'll be all kinds of gigantic
creatures all over the place,
then he'll feel
stupid, won't he?
Yes.
Yes.
This is it.
I'm not going to put up with his
selfish, self-serving science
anymore.
How dare we think
about her all the time?
Oh, it makes me so mad.
He only thinks about himself.
I don't trust him.
He's going to get me killed.
He's going to get us all killed.
I can't trust him.
[growls]
Follow that ape.
I'm on it.
Yeah, there's evidence
of it happening before.
Oh, my god.
Hey, Liz.
How are you doing?
You OK, yeah?
Good.
So-- What do you mean?
Right.
But you've seen the
reports of Dorothy?
I understand that.
But look, if he
was right about--
What are you doing?
Get off the phone!
Look, Liz.
Look, if he was
right about Dorothy,
the chances are he's right
about the other stuff, OK?
All right.
Look, I've got to go now.
Come on.
I love you.
Are you mad?
What?
You're using up the resources.
I wasn't using the resources.
Liz called me.
I was-- Look.
I was looking at information.
You're using the battery up.
We've got no power.
This is a catastrophe as
you could draw her to us.
She could have the
gigantism right now.
I hate to break it
to you, but there
has been no one who's
been affected by gigantism
in this country or in America.
It's just Dorothy.
I've done my work.
My research has been explicitly
correct every single time
so far, so don't
go doubting me now.
Look, I'm not doubting
you about Dorothy.
I'm doubting you about the
gigantism affecting people.
It's not.
So far, it hasn't.
It will do.
But that doesn't seem to--
that doesn't seem to be any
inclination that it will do.
It doesn't seem like
it's going to spread.
Not yet, but it will.
I've done my work.
My equations make
it absolutely clear.
Things will start to
become big as soon as they
come in contact with Dorothy.
But they're not.
And I'm stuck here.
I can't get to my partner.
I just want to make
sure that she's safe.
I want to be with her.
Well, eventually you'll
get to be with her, but not
by wasting the resources.
We're running out of candles.
Yeah, and that's another thing.
Why is the electric gone?
If things are not being affected
the way you said they would be,
it doesn't make any sense
that the power's gone out.
Why are we sat
here using candles?
I don't know.
I paid the bill.
Did you?
Did you check the fuse?
Fine.
Hello, I'm Brock Stevens along
with reporter Michael Breymore.
We interrupt this
broadcast to bring
you live to the scene of
a showdown between what
has been dubbed the mega
ape and the National Guard.
[helicopter whirring]
[growling]
We got him.
Target locked.
What she deserves.
[gunfire]
Missile launch.
3, 2, 1.
Oh, fuck!
[cheering]
[growl]
[phone rings]
Yeah.
Mayor, I hope it's good news.
The ape is dead.
Dead?
What happened?
You killed her, didn't you?
Look, the main thing
is the city is safe.
So you just sweep this
one under the rug, right?
What about the other
lives that were lost?
Collateral damage.
Mayor, don't hang up!
Mayor!
Mayor, hello!
[muttering]
Goddammit!
It's going to work.
I know it.
[making ape sounds]
They lack patience.
You wouldn't know
what we've lost.
Screw you.
Screw death!
[growls]
[breathing heavily]
[screams]
[growling]
[metallic music]
Holy fucking shit.
Now that's one mega-sized ape.
[laughs]
Do it one more time for safety.
Yeah.
And action.
Holy fucking shit.
[laughs]
Now that's one mega-sized ape.
[laughs]
Got it.
Awesome.
[birds chirping]
[growling softly]
[intense growl]
You fucking warped it.
Now we're never getting
off this island alive.
Don't.
Keep your fucking voice down.
[growling]
Let's go.
Let's go.
Let's go.
Go, go, go, go.
[groans]
Come on, man.
Pick up.
Hey, man, maybe we
should get out of here.
I don't know about this.
Fuck it.
Stop.
No, Tom.
Tom.
Tom, wait.
[grunts]
Oh, this fucking guy.
[groaning]
Yeah, nothing much.
Just taking some crap out.
You know how it is.
Come on, really?
Really?
You think that's
going to stop me.
Come on.
No way.
That's part of me, man.
Oh, no.
It's fine.
What is that smell?
Jesus Christ.
Shoot it, man.
Shoot it.
Shoot it.
I got it.
I got it.
God.
Are you getting this?
Yeah, I'm getting it, man.
No way, man.
I've tried those apps before.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They don't work for me.
The last time there
was a total catfish.
Yeah, I'm telling you.
Hey, are you getting this?
Yeah, I'm totally getting this.
Look at this.
Oh.
[apes squealing]
Man, don't do that, huh?
I know what I'm doing, man.
[apes squealing]
[screaming]
[alarm ringing]
Charles.
Charles, it's happened.
What?
Yeah, Dorothy.
She's loose.
Really?
That's what the American
contact's saying.
You knew this could happen.
It looks like a kidnapping.
She's left the island.
She's headed for America.
This is the danger of
mixing the growth hormones.
It's the end of humanity.
All right.
I can't be using this anymore.
Right.
I'm going to go
check the rations.
Yeah, yeah, good idea.
Told them.
I told them.
Didn't listen to me, but
we're the ones who are ready.
We're the ones who
made preparations.
Yes, we're ready for the
lockdown and anything
that giant ape's
going to throw at us.
Yes, bring it on.
Hey.
It's good to hear your voice.
Look, listen.
Yes.
Yeah, that's-- Look, I
know you don't believe me,
but just hear me out, OK?
Please listen to me.
This is serious.
Look, it's today.
It's happening today, right now.
Look, in the nicest way, I don't
care what you've got planned.
Look, please, please,
just listen to me
and please stay at home, OK?
Look, it doesn't matter
what you've got planned,
what you've got booked.
You can just leave it for
today and just go back to it
tomorrow.
Look, I just want
you to be safe, OK?
Yeah.
Look, I wouldn't be
calling you like this
if it wasn't for
real, if I didn't know
100% that it was happening.
Yeah.
Yeah, I just want
you to be safe.
OK.
Thank you.
I love you.
Yeah, I know.
Well, I've said enough.
OK.
Bye.
Man, don't do that, huh?
I know what I'm doing, man.
Tom.
Tom.
Mayor, We have a big problem.
What problem, doctor?
Last night after
lockup in the lab,
there was a security breach.
Those two nimrods from
1007 snuck in when
the guard was doing his rounds.
So what?
We have nothing to hide.
Listen, there are three
other animal facilities
right now in this city.
Public is bored with it.
Sir, one of them was
attacked and killed.
And Dorothy is missing.
That sexy, little receptionist?
I knew she wouldn't last long.
The ape, sir.
What?
Why wasn't I notified sooner?
We have a media blackout
until the ape is apprehended.
These experiments are
highly controversial.
If any information about what
we've been doing should leak,
we'll lose our remaining
funding for sure.
When was the last
injection given?
It was just before
I left last night.
I was supposed to transfer
her to her living park
this morning.
She'll be 10 times her
natural size in, oh, my god,
less than 12 hours from now.
OK, OK.
Let me handle this.
I know just who to call.
Thank you, mayor.
Thank you.
Thank you.
[muttering]
Here's your tea.
There's no way they're going
to be able to control this.
No?
It's going to be 141
times the size of it was.
What?
Dorothy is going to grow
to 141 times the size.
They've got no idea
what they've done.
It's going to be--
going to be huge.
It's not looking good.
That's for sure.
What are the Americans saying?
Nothing from the Americans yet.
Well, they won't be long
because it's happening today.
Today?
Today.
It should have
been me, goddammit.
It should've been me.
Oh, Tom.
Tom.
Goddammit, Tom.
Motherfucker.
[repetitive engine cranking]
The hell.
God damn battery again.
[phone alert tone]
Seriously?
Of course.
What the hell is that?
[screams]
[growling]
And you're saying
that's when it escaped?
Yes, sir.
I was actually on my way
back in to close and lock up
for the night, and that's
when I heard those screams,
so I called you guys for backup.
Well, I think we're done here.
We'll contact you if we
have any more questions.
OK, cool.
Sounds good.
Thank you.
Oh, oh, what about the ape?
I'm sure it's going to turn up.
A wild monkey isn't going
to go unnoticed for long
in this town.
I do know that much.
Good to hear.
Good to hear.
Oh, by the way, tell
the wife I said hey.
Get out of here.
You know she's taken.
[laughing]
All right, see you around.
All right, bud.
Hey, Janet.
Hey, let me know
if any reports come
in about a monkey on the loose.
Yeah, a monkey.
Thanks, Janet.
Mondays.
I get what you're
saying, but listen,
this isn't going to be cheap.
I can't guarantee he's going
to be alive afterwards.
Uh-huh.
All right.
Well, I'll notify
you when it's done.
Yes.
Get me the president.
[stumping]
[growls]
Dude, I told you
I heard something.
Do you think it's
that fucking ape?
No, that's fake news, man.
[laughs]
[distant growl]
Then how do you explain that?
Should we go check it out?
Dude, haven't you ever
seen a horror movie before?
What are you talking about?
We're totally the two stoners
who die off early in the movie
because we're too fucked up
to make rational decisions.
Yeah, but this isn't a movie
and you're way too high.
[laughs]
[phone ringing]
Dude, she's on your dick 24/7.
I know.
Tell me about it.
[growl]
Shit, dude.
I don't think this
is a good idea.
You really think there's a
10-story ape running around
here?
Well, maybe not 10
stories, but there's
got to be some truth
to the story, right?
[intense growling]
Run.
[stumping]
[screams]
Yes, sir.
Sir, it's all under control.
Sir, I assure you there's
no need for all that.
I-- Hello?
Mr. President, are
you still there?
Dear Lord, what have I done?
If she isn't
stopped immediately,
she'll be too big to contain.
This whole thing is a--
this whole thing is
a total disaster.
Yeah, that is the
spot right there.
[upbeat music playing]
[phone chimes]
Good afternoon,
ladies and gentlemen.
I'm Brock Stephens with
a breaking news story.
Joining me in our studio is
our lead investigative reporter
Michael Breymore.
Michael, what can you share
with viewers about this very
disturbing matter?
[sighs]
This is for you, buddy.
I love you.
I wish it was me.
Damn it!
What a new story.
Last night our own Tom Goodwin
was on location following
a lead when he was brutally
attacked and killed
by what several
witnesses believe
to be an ape of some sort at
the Sylmar-based, controversial
animal testing site
owned by Gen Life.
It was last seen heading
towards the Los Angeles forest.
We've learned that
social media has already
exploded with the
hashtag #SaveTheApe
after information was leaked
regarding an experimental
and highly controversial growth
hormone that was reportedly
injected in the ape
routinely since birth.
Rumors persist that
the drug may have
had side effects that alters
the genes that determine gender.
I knew it!
Keep watching for all the latest
updates involving the mega ape.
[breathing heavily]
That didn't take long.
Oh, no.
No.
Apes consume an almost
exclusive all-fruit diet.
However, from time to
time, occasionally they
do eat the other primates.
What would make an
ape eat a person?
Almost always due to a
change in environment.
In this case, she's
lost in the city,
can't locate any fruit to eat.
Something that size she'll
be hungry again soon.
We're going to have to stop
her before it's too late.
Well, they thrive in
tropical climates.
But like us humans, they
prefer to rest in the shade.
If I were you, I would search
out any large, dense forest
area.
The Los Angeles forest might
be a good place to start.
That's a great idea.
Thank you for your wisdom, sir.
I sure hope you're right.
Good luck.
[phone chimes]
Hey, are you super excited
about our hike in the woods?
Oh, yeah.
Can't wait to get
out in the greenery.
You're so pretty.
[giggles]
Thank you.
There she is.
Did I ever tell you
I hate the outdoors?
Did I ever tell you
I hate complaining?
This is going to be a long day.
Who the hell is that?
I think he's a ranger.
Hello there, I'm Ranger Roger.
What are you kids
doing out here?
Going for a hike.
A hike, huh?
You kids wouldn't be doing
drugs out here, would you?
No, sir.
Not us.
We're Republicans.
Well, that's good
because at this park
we only have three rules, no
drugs, no fires, and have fun.
Well, we certainly plan on
doing the latter, Ranger Roger.
Call me sir.
Thank you, Sir Ranger Roger.
All right, all right.
You kids get out of here.
Thank you.
Hey!
No monkey business, you two.
I'm telling you,
honey, this is going
to be the best hike
you've ever been on.
I guarantee it.
Oh, really?
What do I get if it's not?
Well, you can spank me.
[chuckles]
Oh, great.
You don't have to film
yourself climbing.
Maybe you should put your
phone away while you climb.
And deprive our audience
of this amazing climbing?
[chuckles]
I don't exactly know what you
expected to do with the tree
once you got it.
Is this where you take
all your girlfriends?
Just the pretty ones.
[giggles]
Sure.
[growling]
Gary, did you hear that?
Yeah, it's called an airplane.
No, not that.
It sound like a growl.
Yeah, it's my tum-tum.
Gary, I'm serious.
I'm serious too.
I'm hungry.
Gary, these are so creepy.
Oh, come on.
It's all in good fun.
I guess so.
Just a fun start.
Always leaving me behind.
[growling]
What the fuck was that?
Run!
Run!
Go!
[growling]
Honey.
Gary!
Gary, come on!
Come back.
Look out!
Look out!
Come back.
Look out!
At least I'm certain.
Let's send the
National Guard now.
[phone chimes]
Gary, come on!
Come back.
Look out!
Look out!
Come back.
Look out!
[growling on video]
God.
[phone chimes]
God.
[growl]
Oh.
Hey, Jessie.
Can you watch the phone?
I'm going to take
an early lunch.
You got it, girl.
[distant stumping]
This is definitely ape country.
Come on.
This is going to work.
I know.
So excited as my eighth
creation is going to work.
And the left eye will
be read like a demon.
Yes.
[mutters]
I swear if he's with that
bitch again, I'll kill him.
[growling]
Holy fuck.
Now that's one mega-sized ape.
[laughs]
Listen up, monkey fucker.
I've got something that no
ape can escape, hard lead.
[intense growling]
[screaming]
Ha, Got you now, you bastard.
Yesterday my cup was all full.
Today, totally empty.
Oh, thank you for
letting me know.
Yes.
Yes.
Soon they'll all be behind us.
Sir.
Yeah.
How can it be an adventure?
An adventure?
Yeah, sure.
Yeah, an adventure sounds
fun, but getting lost out here
in the woods in this
heat, not really.
You're such a baby.
Well, I learned from
the biggest one.
What's that over there?
Hun.
Got you.
You really suck.
You know that?
Aw, that's why you
love me, right?
Well, I mean, this
is why you love me.
That's a little more like it.
[stumping]
[yells]
Oh, sh--
[stumping, growling]
[screams]
Got you now, bastard.
[stumping]
[growl]
[screams]
Is there any news?
Yes.
It's Dorothy.
She's tearing through
Hollywood right now.
I knew it.
She's getting
bigger, but there's
no reports of
gigantism affecting
anyone or anything else.
Yeah, but they will.
You, trust me.
I know what's going to happen.
It'll just take a bit of
time, but it'll spread.
Slowly but surely, it'll spread.
But there's no evidence to
suggest that it is affecting
anyone or anything else. its--
Well, it's just
a matter of time.
Don't worry.
We've got this sorted.
We'll stick to the plan.
We've got plenty of provisions.
Everything will be just fine.
Right.
Well, if we're going
to hunker down,
then I need to get
my partner here.
She has to be safe.
What?
No, that's the
worst idea possible.
Haven't you looked
at my equations?
But there's nothing to suggest
that that's happened yet.
But it will.
I've been right
every time so far.
No one thought Dorothy would
become this gigantic beast
that she's become.
No one believed me.
But now look.
And this will be the same.
Look, don't panic.
We've got this.
We've got a plan.
We've got provisions.
It'll be OK.
We'll be safe.
What now?
It's OK.
We knew this kind of
thing would happen.
We go to plan B.
Well, get the candles.
Yeah.
OK.
It'll be OK.
It's just you and me now.
I must sit here in the dark
because of him eating beans?
Keeps telling me, oh, trust me.
Trust me.
Trust my science.
Yeah, we'll see how
good your science is.
Can't trust this guy as
far as I could throw him.
I know what he's thinking.
He's thinking about
her again, isn't he?
He's going to get
us into trouble.
I know he is.
He's going to let her in.
We'll all be gigantic
then, won't we?
Yes.
I better not be stuck here
and unable to get to her.
I'm not going to let
him keep me from her.
If I have to leave this place
to go and keep her safe,
that's exactly what I'll do.
Doesn't matter what he thinks.
Look at him.
He's crazy.
Trust his science.
I can't even trust him.
But he's mad.
I bet none of this
will come to pass.
How dare you doubt my equations?
I know what I've
been researching.
I know what I'm doing.
You have no clue.
I know how big that ape
will get, and it'll spread.
We'll be all kinds of gigantic
creatures all over the place,
then he'll feel
stupid, won't he?
Yes.
Yes.
This is it.
I'm not going to put up with his
selfish, self-serving science
anymore.
How dare we think
about her all the time?
Oh, it makes me so mad.
He only thinks about himself.
I don't trust him.
He's going to get me killed.
He's going to get us all killed.
I can't trust him.
[growls]
Follow that ape.
I'm on it.
Yeah, there's evidence
of it happening before.
Oh, my god.
Hey, Liz.
How are you doing?
You OK, yeah?
Good.
So-- What do you mean?
Right.
But you've seen the
reports of Dorothy?
I understand that.
But look, if he
was right about--
What are you doing?
Get off the phone!
Look, Liz.
Look, if he was
right about Dorothy,
the chances are he's right
about the other stuff, OK?
All right.
Look, I've got to go now.
Come on.
I love you.
Are you mad?
What?
You're using up the resources.
I wasn't using the resources.
Liz called me.
I was-- Look.
I was looking at information.
You're using the battery up.
We've got no power.
This is a catastrophe as
you could draw her to us.
She could have the
gigantism right now.
I hate to break it
to you, but there
has been no one who's
been affected by gigantism
in this country or in America.
It's just Dorothy.
I've done my work.
My research has been explicitly
correct every single time
so far, so don't
go doubting me now.
Look, I'm not doubting
you about Dorothy.
I'm doubting you about the
gigantism affecting people.
It's not.
So far, it hasn't.
It will do.
But that doesn't seem to--
that doesn't seem to be any
inclination that it will do.
It doesn't seem like
it's going to spread.
Not yet, but it will.
I've done my work.
My equations make
it absolutely clear.
Things will start to
become big as soon as they
come in contact with Dorothy.
But they're not.
And I'm stuck here.
I can't get to my partner.
I just want to make
sure that she's safe.
I want to be with her.
Well, eventually you'll
get to be with her, but not
by wasting the resources.
We're running out of candles.
Yeah, and that's another thing.
Why is the electric gone?
If things are not being affected
the way you said they would be,
it doesn't make any sense
that the power's gone out.
Why are we sat
here using candles?
I don't know.
I paid the bill.
Did you?
Did you check the fuse?
Fine.
Hello, I'm Brock Stevens along
with reporter Michael Breymore.
We interrupt this
broadcast to bring
you live to the scene of
a showdown between what
has been dubbed the mega
ape and the National Guard.
[helicopter whirring]
[growling]
We got him.
Target locked.
What she deserves.
[gunfire]
Missile launch.
3, 2, 1.
Oh, fuck!
[cheering]
[growl]
[phone rings]
Yeah.
Mayor, I hope it's good news.
The ape is dead.
Dead?
What happened?
You killed her, didn't you?
Look, the main thing
is the city is safe.
So you just sweep this
one under the rug, right?
What about the other
lives that were lost?
Collateral damage.
Mayor, don't hang up!
Mayor!
Mayor, hello!
[muttering]
Goddammit!
It's going to work.
I know it.
[making ape sounds]
They lack patience.
You wouldn't know
what we've lost.
Screw you.
Screw death!
[growls]
[breathing heavily]
[screams]
[growling]
[metallic music]
Holy fucking shit.
Now that's one mega-sized ape.
[laughs]
Do it one more time for safety.
Yeah.
And action.
Holy fucking shit.
[laughs]
Now that's one mega-sized ape.
[laughs]
Got it.
Awesome.